This is a modern-English version of A Strange Story — Complete, originally written by Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron.
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A STRANGE STORY
By Edward Bulwer Lytton
(Lord Lytton)
CONTENTS
CONTENTS
PREFACE.
Of the many illustrious thinkers whom the schools of France have contributed to the intellectual philosophy of our age, Victor Cousin, the most accomplished, assigns to Maine de Biran the rank of the most original.
Of the many notable thinkers that the schools of France have contributed to the intellectual philosophy of our time, Victor Cousin, the most skilled, regards Maine de Biran as the most original.
In the successive developments of his own mind, Maine de Biran may, indeed, be said to represent the change that has been silently at work throughout the general mind of Europe since the close of the last century. He begins his career of philosopher with blind faith in Condillac and Materialism. As an intellect severely conscientious in the pursuit of truth expands amidst the perplexities it revolves, phenomena which cannot be accounted for by Condillac’s sensuous theories open to his eye. To the first rudimentary life of man, the animal life, “characterized by impressions, appetites, movements, organic in their origin and ruled by the Law of Necessity,” (1) he is compelled to add, “the second, or human life, from which Free-will and Self-consciousness emerge.” He thus arrives at the union of mind and matter; but still a something is wanted,—some key to the marvels which neither of these conditions of vital being suffices to explain. And at last the grand self-completing Thinker attains to the Third Life of Man in Man’s Soul.
In the ongoing evolution of his thoughts, Maine de Biran can be seen as reflecting the quiet changes happening in the collective mindset of Europe since the end of the last century. He starts his journey as a philosopher with a blind faith in Condillac and Materialism. As a serious thinker dedicated to uncovering the truth navigates through the complexities he encounters, he begins to notice phenomena that Condillac’s sensory theories can’t explain. He feels compelled to add to the basic, instinctual life of humans—"characterized by impressions, desires, actions, rooted in biology and governed by the Law of Necessity," (1) —"the second, or human life, from which Free Will and Self-Consciousness arise." This leads him to the connection between mind and matter; yet, something still seems to be missing—a key to the mysteries that neither of these aspects of existence can fully clarify. Ultimately, the profound thinker reaches the Third Life of Man within Man’s Soul.
“There are not,” says this philosopher, towards the close of his last and loftiest work,—“there are not only two principles opposed to each other in Man,—there are three. For there are in him three lives and three orders of faculties. Though all should be in accord and in harmony between the sensitive and the active faculties which constitute Man, there would still be a nature superior, a third life which would not be satisfied; which would make felt (ferait sentir) the truth that there is another happiness, another wisdom, another perfection, at once above the greatest human happiness, above the highest wisdom, or intellectual and moral perfection of which the human being is susceptible.” (2)
“There aren't,” says this philosopher near the end of his greatest work, “there are not just two opposing principles in Man—there are three. He possesses three lives and three sets of faculties. Even if all aspects of his sensitive and active faculties, which make up Man, were in agreement and harmony, there would still be a higher nature, a third life that remains unfulfilled; it would reveal the truth that there exists another happiness, another wisdom, another perfection, which is beyond the greatest human happiness and above the highest wisdom, or the intellectual and moral excellence of which humans are capable.” (2)
Now, as Philosophy and Romance both take their origin in the Principle of Wonder, so in the “Strange Story” submitted to the Public it will be seen that Romance, through the freest exercise of its wildest vagaries, conducts its bewildered hero towards the same goal to which Philosophy leads its luminous Student, through far grander portents of Nature, far higher visions of Supernatural Power, than Fable can yield to Fancy. That goal is defined in these noble words:—
Now, just as Philosophy and Romance both originate from the Principle of Wonder, it can be observed in the "Strange Story" presented to the Public that Romance, through its wildest expressions, guides its confused hero to the same destination that Philosophy directs its enlightened Student, using much more impressive signs of Nature and much greater visions of Supernatural Power than Fable can provide to Imagination. That destination is defined in these noble words:—
“The relations (rapports) which exist between the elements and the products of the three lives of Man are the subjects of meditation, the fairest and finest, but also the most difficult. The Stoic Philosophy shows us all which can be most elevated in active life; but it makes abstraction of the animal nature, and absolutely fails to recognize all which belongs to the life of the spirit. Its practical morality is beyond the forces of humanity. Christianity alone embraces the whole Man. It dissimulates none of the sides of his nature, and avails itself of his miseries and his weakness in order to conduct him to his end in showing him all the want that he has of a succor more exalted.” (3)
“The relationships that exist between the elements and the products of the three lives of man are subjects for reflection—both the most beautiful and profound, but also the most challenging. Stoic philosophy reveals what can be most noble in active life; however, it overlooks our animal nature and completely fails to acknowledge everything related to the life of the spirit. Its practical morality is beyond human capabilities. Only Christianity encompasses the whole of man. It doesn't hide any aspects of his nature and uses his struggles and weaknesses to guide him toward his ultimate purpose by highlighting his need for a higher form of support.” (3)
In the passages thus quoted, I imply one of the objects for which this tale has been written; and I cite them, with a wish to acknowledge one of those priceless obligations which writings the lightest and most fantastic often incur to reasoners the most serious and profound.
In the quoted passages, I suggest one of the reasons this story has been written; and I mention them to acknowledge one of those invaluable debts that even the lightest and most whimsical writings often owe to the most serious and profound thinkers.
But I here construct a romance which should have, as a romance, some interest for the general reader. I do not elaborate a treatise submitted to the logic of sages. And it is only when “in fairy fiction drest” that Romance gives admission to “truths severe.”
But I'm creating a story that should be interesting to the average reader. I'm not writing a scholarly essay meant for experts. It’s only when wrapped in fairy tales that romance allows in "harsh truths."
I venture to assume that none will question my privilege to avail myself of the marvellous agencies which have ever been at the legitimate command of the fabulist.
I dare to say that no one will doubt my right to take advantage of the amazing tools that have always been legitimately available to storytellers.
To the highest form of romantic narrative, the Epic, critics, indeed, have declared that a supernatural machinery is indispensable. That the Drama has availed itself of the same license as the Epic, it would be unnecessary to say to the countrymen of Shakspeare, or to the generation that is yet studying the enigmas of Goethe’s “Faust.” Prose Romance has immemorially asserted, no less than the Epic or the Drama, its heritage in the Realm of the Marvellous. The interest which attaches to the supernatural is sought in the earliest Prose Romance which modern times take from the ancient, and which, perhaps, had its origin in the lost Novels of Miletus; (4) and the right to invoke such interest has, ever since, been maintained by Romance through all varieties of form and fancy,—from the majestic epopee of “Telemaque” to the graceful fantasies of “Undine,” or the mighty mockeries of “Gulliver’s Travels” down to such comparatively commonplace elements of wonder as yet preserve from oblivion “The Castle of Otranto” and “The Old English Baron.”
To the highest form of romantic storytelling, the Epic, critics have indeed claimed that a supernatural element is essential. There's no need to mention that the Drama has taken the same liberties as the Epic to those who are familiar with Shakespeare or to those still exploring the puzzles of Goethe’s “Faust.” Prose Romance has long asserted, just like the Epic or the Drama, its connection to the extraordinary. The fascination with the supernatural can be found in the earliest Prose Romances that modern times have taken from the ancients, which perhaps originated in the lost Novels of Miletus; (4) and the right to invoke such fascination has been upheld by Romance in all its varied forms and styles—from the grand epic of “Telemaque” to the elegant tales of “Undine,” or the powerful parodies of “Gulliver’s Travels,” down to the more ordinary elements of wonder that still keep “The Castle of Otranto” and “The Old English Baron” from being forgotten.
Now, to my mind, the true reason why a supernatural agency is indispensable to the conception of the Epic, is that the Epic is the highest and the completest form in which Art can express either Man or Nature, and that without some gleams of the supernatural, Man is not man nor Nature, nature.
Now, in my opinion, the real reason a supernatural element is essential for understanding the Epic is that the Epic is the highest and most complete way Art can express either Humanity or Nature. Without some hints of the supernatural, Humanity isn’t fully human nor is Nature truly nature.
It is said, by a writer to whom an eminent philosophical critic justly applies the epithets of “pious and profound:” (5)
It is said, by a writer to whom a respected philosophical critic accurately assigns the labels “devout and deep:” (5)
“Is it unreasonable to confess that we believe in God, not by reason of the Nature which conceals Him, but by reason of the Supernatural in Man which alone reveals and proves Him to exist?... Man reveals God: for Man, by his intelligence, rises above Nature; and in virtue of this intelligence is conscious of himself as a power not only independent of, but opposed to, Nature, and capable of resisting, conquering, and controlling her.” (6)
“Is it unreasonable to admit that we believe in God, not because of the Nature that hides Him, but because of the Supernatural in Humanity that shows and proves His existence?... Humanity reveals God: for Humans, through their intelligence, rise above Nature; and because of this intelligence, are aware of themselves as a power that is not only independent of, but in conflict with, Nature, and capable of resisting, conquering, and controlling it.” (6)
If the meaning involved in the argument, of which I have here made but scanty extracts, be carefully studied, I think that we shall find deeper reasons than the critics who dictated canons of taste to the last century discovered,—why the supernatural is indispensable to the Epic, and why it is allowable to all works of imagination, in which Art looks on Nature with Man’s inner sense of a something beyond and above her.
If we take a close look at the meaning behind the argument, of which I've only shared a few brief excerpts, I believe we’ll uncover deeper reasons than those found by the critics who established standards of taste in the last century—reasons why the supernatural is essential to the Epic, and why it is acceptable in all imaginative works, where Art views Nature through humanity's perception of something greater and beyond it.
But the Writer who, whether in verse or prose, would avail himself of such sources of pity or terror as flow from the Marvellous, can only attain his object in proportion as the wonders he narrates are of a kind to excite the curiosity of the age he addresses.
But the writer who, whether in poetry or prose, wants to take advantage of feelings like pity or fear that come from the extraordinary can only succeed as much as the wonders they describe capture the curiosity of their audience.
In the brains of our time, the faculty of Causation is very markedly developed. People nowadays do not delight in the Marvellous according to the old childlike spirit. They say in one breath, “Very extraordinary!” and in the next breath ask, “How do you account for it?” If the Author of this work has presumed to borrow from science some elements of interest for Romance, he ventures to hope that no thoughtful reader—and certainly no true son of science—will be disposed to reproach him. In fact, such illustrations from the masters of Thought were essential to the completion of the purpose which pervades the work.
In today's world, our ability to understand cause and effect is clearly more advanced. People no longer revel in the marvelous with the same innocent wonder as before. They may say, “That’s really amazing!” and immediately follow it up with, “How can that be explained?” If the author of this work has taken some intriguing elements from science to enhance the narrative, he hopes that no thoughtful reader—and definitely no true scientist—will criticize him for it. In reality, such examples from leading thinkers were crucial to achieving the overarching goal of this work.
That purpose, I trust, will develop itself in proportion as the story approaches the close; and whatever may appear violent or melodramatic in the catastrophe, will, perhaps, be found, by a reader capable of perceiving the various symbolical meanings conveyed in the story, essential to the end in which those meanings converge, and towards which the incidents that give them the character and interest of of fiction, have been planned and directed from the commencement.
I believe that purpose will become clearer as the story nears its end; and even if the conclusion seems extreme or overly dramatic, a reader who can grasp the different symbolic meanings in the story might find it crucial to the overall message those meanings point toward, which has been carefully crafted and guided by the events from the very beginning.
Of course, according to the most obvious principles of art, the narrator of a fiction must be as thoroughly in earnest as if he were the narrator of facts. One could not tell the most extravagant fairy-tale so as to rouse and sustain the attention of the most infantine listener, if the tale were told as if the taleteller did not believe in it. But when the reader lays down this “Strange Story,” perhaps he will detect, through all the haze of romance, the outlines of these images suggested to his reason: Firstly, the image of sensuous, soulless Nature, such as the Materialist had conceived it; secondly, the image of Intellect, obstinately separating all its inquiries from the belief in the spiritual essence and destiny of man, and incurring all kinds of perplexity and resorting to all kinds of visionary speculation before it settles at last into the simple faith which unites the philosopher and the infant; and thirdly, the image of the erring but pure-thoughted visionary, seeking over-much on this earth to separate soul from mind, till innocence itself is led astray by a phantom, and reason is lost in the space between earth and the stars. Whether in these pictures there be any truth worth the implying, every reader must judge for himself; and if he doubt or deny that there be any such truth, still, in the process of thought which the doubt or denial enforces, he may chance on a truth which it pleases himself to discover.
Of course, according to the most basic principles of art, the narrator of a story must be as serious as if they were telling real events. You couldn't tell the wildest fairy tale in a way that keeps the attention of a young child if the storyteller doesn't believe in it. But when the reader finishes this “Strange Story,” they might catch, through all the haze of romance, the outlines of these ideas brought to their mind: First, the image of a sensuous, soulless Nature, as conceived by Materialists; second, the image of Intellect, stubbornly separating its inquiries from the belief in the spiritual essence and destiny of humanity, encountering all sorts of confusion and resorting to various imaginary speculations until it finally settles into the simple faith that connects philosophers and children alike; and third, the image of the misguided yet pure-minded visionary, searching too much in this world to separate soul from mind, until even innocence is misled by an illusion, and logic is lost in the void between the earth and the stars. Whether there is any truth to be found in these images is something each reader must decide for themselves; and if they doubt or deny that such truth exists, still, through the process of questioning or denial, they might stumble upon a truth that brings them satisfaction.
“Most of the Fables of AEsop,”—thus says Montaigne in his charming essay “Of Books” (7)—“have several senses and meanings, of which the Mythologists choose some one that tallies with the fable. But for the most part ‘t is only what presents itself at the first view, and is superficial; there being others more lively, essential, and internal, into which they had not been able to penetrate; and”—adds Montaigne—“the case is the very same with me.”
“Most of Aesop's Fables,”—as Montaigne says in his charming essay “Of Books” (7)—“have multiple interpretations, and the Mythologists pick one that fits the fable. But usually it's just what appears at first glance, which is superficial; there are deeper, more vivid, and more fundamental meanings that they weren’t able to explore; and”—Montaine adds—“I find myself in the same situation.”
(1) OEuvres inedites de Maine de Biran, vol. i. See introduction.
(1) Unpublished works of Maine de Biran, vol. i. See introduction.
(2) OEuvres inedites de Maine de Biran, vol. iii. p. 546 (Anthropologie).
(2) Unpublished Works of Maine de Biran, vol. iii. p. 546 (Anthropology).
(3) OEuvres inedites de Maine de Biran, vol. iii. p. 524.
(3) Unpublished Works of Maine de Biran, vol. iii. p. 524.
(4) “The Golden Ass” of Apuleius.
(4) “The Golden Ass” by Apuleius.
(5) Sir William Hamilton: Lectures on Metaphysics, p. 40.
(5) Sir William Hamilton: Lectures on Metaphysics, p. 40.
(6) Jacobi: Von der Gottlichen Dingen; Werke, p. 424-426.
(6) Jacobi: On Divine Matters; Works, p. 424-426.
(7) Translation, 1776, Yol. ii. p. 103.
(7) Translation, 1776, Vol. ii. p. 103.
CHAPTER I.
In the year 18— I settled as a physician at one of the wealthiest of our great English towns, which I will designate by the initial L——. I was yet young, but I had acquired some reputation by a professional work, which is, I believe, still amongst the received authorities on the subject of which it treats. I had studied at Edinburgh and at Paris, and had borne away from both those illustrious schools of medicine whatever guarantees for future distinction the praise of professors may concede to the ambition of students. On becoming a member of the College of Physicians, I made a tour of the principal cities of Europe, taking letters of introduction to eminent medical men, and gathering from many theories and modes of treatment hints to enlarge the foundations of unprejudiced and comprehensive practice. I had resolved to fix my ultimate residence in London. But before this preparatory tour was completed, my resolve was changed by one of those unexpected events which determine the fate man in vain would work out for himself. In passing through the Tyro, on my way into the north of Italy, I found in a small inn, remote from medical attendance, an English traveller seized with acute inflammation of the lungs, and in a state of imminent danger. I devoted myself to him night and day; and, perhaps more through careful nursing than active remedies, I had the happiness to effect his complete recovery. The traveller proved to be Julius Faber, a physician of great distinction, contented to reside, where he was born, in the provincial city of L——, but whose reputation as a profound and original pathologist was widely spread, and whose writings had formed no unimportant part of my special studies. It was during a short holiday excursion, from which he was about to return with renovated vigour, that he had been thus stricken down. The patient so accidentally met with became the founder of my professional fortunes. He conceived a warm attachment for me,—perhaps the more affectionate because he was a childless bachelor, and the nephew who would succeed to his wealth evinced no desire to succeed to the toils by which the wealth had been acquired. Thus, having an heir for the one, he had long looked about for an heir to the other, and now resolved on finding that heir in me. So when we parted Dr. Faber made me promise to correspond with him regularly, and it was not long before he disclosed by letter the plans he had formed in my favour. He said that he was growing old; his practice was beyond his strength; he needed a partner; he was not disposed to put up to sale the health of patients whom he had learned to regard as his children: money was no object to him, but it was an object close at his heart that the humanity he had served, and the reputation he had acquired, should suffer no loss in his choice of a successor. In fine, he proposed that I should at once come to L—— as his partner, with the view of succeeding to his entire practice at the end of two years, when it was his intention to retire.
In the year 18—, I settled as a doctor in one of the wealthiest towns in England, which I’ll refer to as L——. I was still young, but I had gained some recognition through a professional work that I believe is still considered an authority on its topic. I studied in Edinburgh and Paris, and I took with me from those prestigious medical schools whatever guarantees for future success the praise of the professors could offer to ambitious students. After becoming a member of the College of Physicians, I traveled to the major cities of Europe, taking letters of introduction to prominent doctors and gathering insights on various theories and treatments to broaden the foundations of my unbiased and comprehensive practice. I had intended to settle in London eventually. But before I finished this preparatory tour, my plans changed due to one of those unexpected events that can alter a person’s future despite their best efforts to control it. While passing through Tyro on my way to northern Italy, I came upon an English traveler at a small inn, far from any medical help, who was struck by severe lung inflammation and was in imminent danger. I dedicated myself to his care day and night; and perhaps more due to attentive nursing than vigorous treatments, I was fortunate enough to bring about his full recovery. The traveler turned out to be Julius Faber, a highly regarded physician who was content to live in the provincial city of L——, where he was born, but whose reputation as a profound and original pathologist was widely known, and whose writings were a significant part of my specific studies. It was during a brief holiday trip, from which he was about to return rejuvenated, that he had unexpectedly fallen ill. This patient I stumbled upon became the foundation of my professional success. He developed a strong fondness for me—perhaps more affectionate because he was a childless bachelor, and his nephew, who would inherit his wealth, showed no interest in taking over the hard work that generated that wealth. So, having found an heir for one, he had been searching for an heir for the other, and he resolved to find that heir in me. Therefore, when we parted, Dr. Faber made me promise to keep in touch regularly, and it wasn't long before he revealed his plans for me in a letter. He mentioned that he was getting older, his practice was becoming too much for him, and he needed a partner. He wasn’t willing to sell the health of the patients he had come to see as his own children: money wasn’t important to him, but what truly mattered was that the humanity he had served and the reputation he had built should not suffer in choosing a successor. In short, he proposed that I come to L—— as his partner with the intention of taking over his entire practice in two years when he planned to retire.
The opening into fortune thus afforded to me was one that rarely presents itself to a young man entering upon an overcrowded profession; and to an aspirant less allured by the desire of fortune than the hope of distinction, the fame of the physician who thus generously offered to me the inestimable benefits of his long experience and his cordial introduction was in itself an assurance that a metropolitan practice is not essential to a national renown.
The opportunity for success that came my way is one that rarely happens for a young man starting out in a crowded field; and for someone less driven by the pursuit of wealth than by the hope for recognition, the reputation of the doctor who generously offered me the invaluable benefits of his extensive experience and warm introduction was a sign that a big city practice isn't necessary for national fame.
I went, then, to L——, and before the two years of my partnership had expired, my success justified my kind friend’s selection, and far more than realized my own expectations. I was fortunate in effecting some notable cures in the earliest cases submitted to me, and it is everything in the career of a physician when good luck wins betimes for him that confidence which patients rarely accord except to lengthened experience. To the rapid facility with which my way was made, some circumstances apart from professional skill probably contributed. I was saved from the suspicion of a medical adventurer by the accidents of birth and fortune. I belonged to an ancient family (a branch of the once powerful border-clan of the Fenwicks) that had for many generations held a fair estate in the neighbourhood of Windermere. As an only son I had succeeded to that estate on attaining my majority, and had sold it to pay off the debts which had been made by my father, who had the costly tastes of an antiquary and collector. The residue on the sale insured me a modest independence apart from the profits of a profession; and as I had not been legally bound to defray my father’s debts, so I obtained that character for disinterestedness and integrity which always in England tends to propitiate the public to the successes achieved by industry or talent. Perhaps, too, any professional ability I might possess was the more readily conceded, because I had cultivated with assiduity the sciences and the scholarship which are collaterally connected with the study of medicine. Thus, in a word, I established a social position which came in aid of my professional repute, and silenced much of that envy which usually embitters and sometimes impedes success.
I went to L——, and before my two-year partnership was up, my success proved my kind friend's choice was spot on and exceeded my own expectations. I was lucky to achieve some impressive recoveries in the early cases I handled, and it means a lot in a doctor's career when good fortune early on earns him the trust that patients usually reserve for those with extensive experience. My rapid progress was likely influenced by a few factors besides just my medical skills. I avoided the reputation of a medical charlatan thanks to my background and luck. I came from an old family (a branch of the once powerful Fenwick border clan) that had owned a decent estate near Windermere for many generations. As the only son, I inherited that estate when I turned 18, but I sold it to clear my father's debts, which had piled up from his expensive hobbies as an antiquarian and collector. The proceeds from the sale gave me a comfortable independence outside of my career, and since I wasn't legally obligated to pay my father's debts, I gained a reputation for selflessness and integrity that often wins public support for those who succeed through hard work or talent in England. Also, any professional expertise I had was likely more readily acknowledged because I had diligently studied the sciences and academics related to medicine. In short, I built a social standing that bolstered my professional reputation and dampened much of the envy that typically taints and sometimes hinders success.
Dr. Faber retired at the end of the two years agreed upon. He went abroad; and being, though advanced in years, of a frame still robust, and habits of mind still inquiring and eager, he commenced a lengthened course of foreign travel, during which our correspondence, at first frequent, gradually languished, and finally died away.
Dr. Faber retired at the end of the two years we agreed on. He went abroad; and although he was older, he was still fit and his mind remained curious and eager. He started an extended journey through foreign countries, during which our correspondence, initially frequent, slowly faded and eventually stopped.
I succeeded at once to the larger part of the practice which the labours of thirty years had secured to my predecessor. My chief rival was a Dr. Lloyd, a benevolent, fervid man, not without genius, if genius be present where judgment is absent; not without science, if that may be science which fails in precision,—one of those clever desultory men who, in adopting a profession, do not give up to it the whole force and heat of their minds. Men of that kind habitually accept a mechanical routine, because in the exercise of their ostensible calling their imaginative faculties are drawn away to pursuits more alluring. Therefore, in their proper vocation they are seldom bold or inventive,—out of it they are sometimes both to excess. And when they do take up a novelty in their own profession they cherish it with an obstinate tenacity, and an extravagant passion, unknown to those quiet philosophers who take up novelties every day, examine them with the sobriety of practised eyes, to lay down altogether, modify in part, or accept in whole, according as inductive experiment supports or destroys conjecture.
I quickly took over most of the practice that my predecessor had built up over thirty years. My main competitor was Dr. Lloyd, a kind-hearted and passionate man, who had some talent, even if it lacks good judgment; he had knowledge, though it wasn't always precise. He was one of those smart, scattered individuals who, when they choose a profession, don’t fully commit their energy and enthusiasm to it. People like him often fall into a routine because their creative minds get distracted by more appealing pursuits. As a result, they are rarely bold or innovative in their actual work, but outside of it, they can be excessively both. When they do embrace something new in their field, they cling to it stubbornly and with a passion that those calm thinkers, who explore new ideas every day and analyze them carefully, would never understand. Those calm thinkers either discard, partially modify, or fully embrace new concepts based on what experimental evidence confirms or disproves.
Dr. Lloyd had been esteemed a learned naturalist long before he was admitted to be a tolerable physician. Amidst the privations of his youth he had contrived to form, and with each succeeding year he had perseveringly increased, a zoological collection of creatures, not alive, but, happily for the beholder, stuffed or embalmed. From what I have said, it will be truly inferred that Dr. Lloyd’s early career as a physician had not been brilliant; but of late years he had gradually rather aged than worked himself into that professional authority and station which time confers on a thoroughly respectable man whom no one is disposed to envy, and all are disposed to like.
Dr. Lloyd was seen as a knowledgeable naturalist long before he was recognized as an okay doctor. Despite the hardships of his youth, he managed to create, and with each passing year he continued to add to, a collection of animals that were not alive but, thankfully for those viewing them, were stuffed or preserved. From what I've shared, it's clear that Dr. Lloyd's early career as a doctor wasn't remarkable; however, in recent years, he had slowly but surely earned a level of professional respect and status that time grants to a truly respectable person whom no one envies and everyone likes.
Now in L—— there were two distinct social circles,—that of the wealthy merchants and traders, and that of a few privileged families inhabiting a part of the town aloof from the marts of commerce, and called the Abbey Hill. These superb Areopagites exercised over the wives and daughters of the inferior citizens to whom all of L——, except the Abbey Hill, owed its prosperity, the same kind of mysterious influence which the fine ladies of May Fair and Belgravia are reported to hold over the female denizens of Bloomsbury and Marylebone.
Now in L—— there were two distinct social circles: one of wealthy merchants and traders, and the other of a few privileged families living in a part of town separate from the busy commercial areas, known as Abbey Hill. These elegant elites had a mysterious influence over the wives and daughters of the lower-class citizens, to whom all of L——, except Abbey Hill, owed its prosperity. It was similar to the kind of power that the fashionable ladies of May Fair and Belgravia are said to have over the women from Bloomsbury and Marylebone.
Abbey Hill was not opulent; but it was powerful by a concentration of its resources in all matters of patronage. Abbey Hill had its own milliner and its own draper, its own confectioner, butcher, baker, and tea-dealer; and the patronage of Abbey Hill was like the patronage of royalty,—less lucrative in itself than as a solemn certificate of general merit. The shops on which Abbey Hill conferred its custom were certainly not the cheapest, possibly not the best; but they were undeniably the most imposing. The proprietors were decorously pompous, the shopmen superciliously polite. They could not be more so if they had belonged to the State, and been paid by a public which they benefited and despised. The ladies of Low Town (as the city subjacent to the Hill had been styled from a date remote in the feudal ages) entered those shops with a certain awe, and left them with a certain pride. There they had learned what the Hill approved; there they had bought what the Hill had purchased. It is much in this life to be quite sure that we are in the right, whatever that conviction may cost us. Abbey Hill had been in the habit of appointing, amongst other objects of patronage, its own physician. But that habit had fallen into disuse during the latter years of my predecessor’s practice. His superiority over all other medical men in the town had become so incontestable, that, though he was emphatically the doctor of Low Town, the head of its hospitals and infirmaries, and by birth related to its principal traders, still as Abbey Hill was occasionally subject to the physical infirmities of meaner mortals, so on those occasions it deemed it best not to push the point of honour to the wanton sacrifice of life. Since Low Town possessed one of the most famous physicians in England, Abbey Hill magnanimously resolved not to crush him by a rival. Abbey Hill let him feel its pulse.
Abbey Hill wasn’t extravagant, but it was powerful because it concentrated its resources on patronage. Abbey Hill had its own milliner, draper, confectioner, butcher, baker, and tea dealer; and the patronage from Abbey Hill was like royal patronage—less profitable on its own than it was as a serious endorsement of general quality. The shops that benefited from Abbey Hill’s business were definitely not the cheapest and probably not the best; but they were undoubtedly the most impressive. The owners were decorously pompous, and the shop employees were superciliously polite. They couldn’t be any more so if they were government employees being paid by a public they served and looked down upon. The ladies of Low Town (as the city below the Hill had been called since the distant feudal era) entered those shops with a certain awe and left with a certain pride. There, they learned what the Hill approved; there, they bought what the Hill had selected. It means a lot in life to be completely sure we are right, no matter what that certainty may cost us. Abbey Hill used to have its own physician as part of its patronage, but this practice had fallen out of favor in the later years of my predecessor’s career. His superiority over all other doctors in town became so unquestionable that, although he was clearly the doctor for Low Town, the head of its hospitals and infirmaries, and related by birth to its leading merchants, Abbey Hill occasionally experienced the physical issues common to ordinary people, and on those occasions, it decided it was best not to stubbornly risk lives over pride. Since Low Town had one of the most renowned physicians in England, Abbey Hill generously chose not to undermine him with competition. Abbey Hill let him feel its pulse.
When my predecessor retired, I had presumptuously expected that the Hill would have continued to suspend its normal right to a special physician, and shown to me the same generous favour it had shown to him, who had declared me worthy to succeed to his honours. I had the more excuse for this presumption because the Hill had already allowed me to visit a fair proportion of its invalids, had said some very gracious things to me about the great respectability of the Fenwick family, and sent me some invitations to dinner, and a great many invitations to tea.
When my predecessor retired, I naively thought that the Hill would keep suspending its usual requirement for a special physician and show me the same kindness it had shown him, who had called me deserving of his honors. I had more reason to think this because the Hill had already let me visit several of its patients, praised me for the esteemed Fenwick family, and sent me a few dinner invites, along with lots of tea invitations.
But my self-conceit received a notable check. Abbey Hill declared that the time had come to reassert its dormant privilege; it must have a doctor of its own choosing,—a doctor who might, indeed, be permitted to visit Low Town from motives of humanity or gain, but who must emphatically assert his special allegiance to Abbey Hill by fixing his home on that venerable promontory. Miss Brabazon, a spinster of uncertain age but undoubted pedigree, with small fortune but high nose, which she would pleasantly observe was a proof of her descent from Humphrey Duke of Gloucester (with whom, indeed, I have no doubt, in spite of chronology, that she very often dined), was commissioned to inquire of me diplomatically, and without committing Abbey Hill too much by the overture, whether I would take a large and antiquated mansion, in which abbots were said to have lived many centuries ago, and which was still popularly styled Abbots’ House, situated on the verge of the Hill, as in that case the “Hill” would think of me.
But my arrogance took a significant hit. Abbey Hill announced that it was time to reclaim its dormant privilege; it needed a doctor of its own choosing—a doctor who might occasionally visit Low Town for humanitarian or financial reasons, but who must clearly declare his loyalty to Abbey Hill by making his home on that historic hill. Miss Brabazon, an unmarried woman of indeterminate age but certainly of good lineage, with a modest fortune but a prominent nose, which she would happily point out was proof of her descent from Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester (with whom I have no doubt she frequently dined, despite the timelines), was tasked with diplomatically asking me, without overly involving Abbey Hill in the approach, whether I would consider taking a large, old mansion where abbots were said to have lived centuries ago, still commonly referred to as Abbots’ House, located on the edge of the Hill, as in that case the “Hill” would think of me.
“It is a large house for a single man, I allow,” said Miss Brabazon, candidly; and then added, with a sidelong glance of alarming sweetness, “but when Dr. Fenwick has taken his true position (so old a family!) amongst us, he need not long remain single, unless he prefer it.”
“It’s a big house for just one man, I admit,” said Miss Brabazon, straightforwardly; and then added, with a sideways look of surprisingly sweet intensity, “but when Dr. Fenwick has established his rightful place (such an old family!) among us, he shouldn’t stay single for long, unless he chooses to.”
I replied, with more asperity than the occasion called for, that I had no thought of changing my residence at present, and if the Hill wanted me, the Hill must send for me.
I replied, with more sharpness than the situation warranted, that I had no intention of moving right now, and if the Hill wanted me, they needed to reach out to me.
Two days afterwards Dr. Lloyd took Abbots’ House, and in less than a week was proclaimed medical adviser to the Hill. The election had been decided by the fiat of a great lady, who reigned supreme on the sacred eminence, under the name and title of Mrs. Colonel Poyntz.
Two days later, Dr. Lloyd took over Abbots’ House, and in less than a week he was announced as the medical advisor to the Hill. The decision had been made by the authority of a prominent lady, who held absolute power on the prestigious hill, known as Mrs. Colonel Poyntz.
“Dr. Fenwick,” said this lady, “is a clever young man and a gentleman, but he gives himself airs,—the Hill does not allow any airs but its own. Besides, he is a new comer: resistance to new comers, and, indeed, to all things new, except caps and novels, is one of the bonds that keep old established societies together. Accordingly, it is by my advice that Dr. Lloyd has taken Abbots’ House; the rent would be too high for his means if the Hill did not feel bound in honour to justify the trust he has placed in its patronage. I told him that all my friends, when they were in want of a doctor, would send for him; those who are my friends will do so. What the Hill does, plenty of common people down there will do also,—so that question is settled!” And it was settled.
“Dr. Fenwick,” this lady said, “is a smart young man and a gentleman, but he acts all high and mighty—the Hill doesn’t tolerate any attitude except its own. Plus, he’s new here: resisting newcomers and pretty much anything new, except for hats and novels, is one of the things that keeps old established societies intact. So, I advised Dr. Lloyd to take Abbots’ House; the rent would be too high for his budget if the Hill didn’t feel obligated to support the trust he’s placed in its backing. I told him that all my friends would call for him when they needed a doctor; those who are my friends will do just that. What the Hill does, a lot of common folks down there will do too—so that’s that!” And it was that.
Dr. Lloyd, thus taken by the hand, soon extended the range of his visits beyond the Hill, which was not precisely a mountain of gold to doctors, and shared with myself, though in a comparatively small degree, the much more lucrative practice of Low Town.
Dr. Lloyd, now guided by the hand, quickly expanded his visits beyond the Hill, which wasn't exactly a gold mine for doctors, and shared with me, though to a lesser extent, the much more profitable practice in Low Town.
I had no cause to grudge his success, nor did I. But to my theories of medicine his diagnosis was shallow, and his prescriptions obsolete. When we were summoned to a joint consultation, our views as to the proper course of treatment seldom agreed. Doubtless he thought I ought to have deferred to his seniority in years; but I held the doctrine which youth deems a truth and age a paradox,—namely, that in science the young men are the practical elders, inasmuch as they are schooled in the latest experiences science has gathered up, while their seniors are cramped by the dogmas they were schooled to believe when the world was some decades the younger.
I had no reason to resent his success, nor did I. But I found his diagnosis to be superficial and his prescriptions outdated. Whenever we were called for a joint consultation, we rarely agreed on the right treatment approach. He likely believed I should have respected his seniority, but I subscribed to the belief that youth sees as truth what age considers a paradox—that in science, younger people are often the practical leaders because they are trained in the most recent findings, while their older counterparts are limited by the old beliefs they learned when the world was much younger.
Meanwhile my reputation continued rapidly to advance; it became more than local; my advice was sought even by patients from the metropolis. That ambition, which, conceived in early youth, had decided my career and sweetened all its labours,—the ambition to take a rank and leave a name as one of the great pathologists to whom humanity accords a grateful, if calm, renown,—saw before it a level field and a certain goal.
Meanwhile, my reputation continued to grow quickly; it became more than just local; people from the city even sought my advice. That ambition, which I had developed in my youth and that had shaped my career and made all its work enjoyable—the ambition to achieve recognition and leave a legacy as one of the great pathologists, honored by humanity with a grateful, if understated, fame—saw a clear path ahead and a definite goal.
I know not whether a success far beyond that usually attained at the age I had reached served to increase, but it seemed to myself to justify, the main characteristic of my moral organization,—intellectual pride.
I don't know if the success I achieved, which was much greater than what most people reach at my age, fueled my feelings, but it felt to me like it validated my main trait—intellectual pride.
Though mild and gentle to the sufferers under my care, as a necessary element of professional duty, I was intolerant of contradiction from those who belonged to my calling, or even from those who, in general opinion, opposed my favourite theories. I had espoused a school of medical philosophy severely rigid in its inductive logic. My creed was that of stern materialism. I had a contempt for the understanding of men who accepted with credulity what they could not explain by reason. My favourite phrase was “common-sense.” At the same time I had no prejudice against bold discovery, and discovery necessitates conjecture, but I dismissed as idle all conjecture that could not be brought to a practical test.
Though I was kind and caring to the patients I looked after, as part of my professional duty, I couldn't stand being contradicted by my peers or even by those who generally disagreed with my favorite theories. I followed a strict school of medical thought that relied heavily on deductive reasoning. My belief was based on harsh materialism. I looked down on those who accepted things blindly that they couldn't explain logically. I often used the phrase "common sense." At the same time, I had no bias against bold discoveries, understanding that discovery requires speculation, but I considered any speculation worthless if it couldn’t be practically tested.
As in medicine I had been the pupil of Broussais, so in metaphysics I was the disciple of Condillac. I believed with that philosopher that “all our knowledge we owe to Nature; that in the beginning we can only instruct ourselves through her lessons; and that the whole art of reasoning consists in continuing as she has compelled us to commence.” Keeping natural philosophy apart from the doctrines of revelation, I never assailed the last; but I contended that by the first no accurate reasoner could arrive at the existence of the soul as a third principle of being equally distinct from mind and body. That by a miracle man might live again, was a question of faith and not of understanding. I left faith to religion, and banished it from philosophy. How define with a precision to satisfy the logic of philosophy what was to live again? The body? We know that the body rests in its grave till by the process of decomposition its elemental parts enter into other forms of matter. The mind? But the mind was as clearly the result of the bodily organization as the music of the harpsichord is the result of the instrumental mechanism. The mind shared the decrepitude of the body in extreme old age, and in the full vigour of youth a sudden injury to the brain might forever destroy the intellect of a Plato or a Shakspeare. But the third principle,—the soul,—the something lodged within the body, which yet was to survive it? Where was that soul hidden out of the ken of the anatomist? When philosophers attempted to define it, were they not compelled to confound its nature and its actions with those of the mind? Could they reduce it to the mere moral sense, varying according to education, circumstances, and physical constitution? But even the moral sense in the most virtuous of men may be swept away by a fever. Such at the time I now speak of were the views I held,—views certainly not original nor pleasing; but I cherished them with as fond a tenacity as if they had been consolatory truths of which I was the first discoverer. I was intolerant to those who maintained opposite doctrines,—despised them as irrational, or disliked them as insincere. Certainly if I had fulfilled the career which my ambition predicted,—become the founder of a new school in pathology, and summed up my theories in academical lectures,—I should have added another authority, however feeble, to the sects which circumscribe the interest of man to the life that has its close in his grave.
As in medicine I had studied under Broussais, in metaphysics I was a disciple of Condillac. I agreed with that philosopher that “all our knowledge comes from Nature; that at first we can only learn through her lessons; and that the entire skill of reasoning consists in continuing as she makes us start.” Distinguishing natural philosophy from religious beliefs, I never criticized the latter; however, I argued that no logical thinker could conclude that the soul existed as a third principle of being, separate from mind and body. The belief that a miracle could allow man to live again was a matter of faith, not understanding. I left faith to religion and excluded it from philosophy. How could one precisely define what it means to live again in a way that satisfies philosophical logic? The body? We know that the body rests in its grave until decomposition transforms its elemental parts into other forms of matter. The mind? Yet, the mind clearly arises from the physical organization as music comes from the mechanism of a harpsichord. The mind shares the body's decline in old age, and a sudden brain injury in the prime of youth could forever impair the intellect of a Plato or a Shakespeare. But the third principle—the soul—what was that something within the body that would continue after it? Where was that soul hidden from the anatomist's view? When philosophers tried to define it, didn’t they end up confusing its nature and actions with those of the mind? Could they reduce it to just the moral sense, which varies with education, circumstances, and physical constitution? Yet even the moral sense in the most virtuous people can be obliterated by illness. Such were the views I held at that time—views certainly not original or popular; however, I clung to them just as tightly as if they were comforting truths I had discovered myself. I was intolerant of those who held opposing beliefs—seeing them as irrational or dismissing them as insincere. Certainly, if I had followed the career my ambition predicted—becoming the founder of a new school of pathology, and summarizing my theories in academic lectures—I would have added another authority, however weak, to the groups that limit human interest to the life that ends in the grave.
Possibly that which I have called my intellectual pride was more nourished than I should have been willing to grant by the self-reliance which an unusual degree of physical power is apt to bestow. Nature had blessed me with the thews of an athlete. Among the hardy youths of the Northern Athens I had been preeminently distinguished for feats of activity and strength. My mental labours, and the anxiety which is inseparable from the conscientious responsibilities of the medical profession, kept my health below the par of keen enjoyment, but had in no way diminished my rare muscular force. I walked through the crowd with the firm step and lofty crest of the mailed knight of old, who felt himself, in his casement of iron, a match against numbers. Thus the sense of a robust individuality, strong alike in disciplined reason and animal vigour, habituated to aid others, needing no aid for itself, contributed to render me imperious in will and arrogant in opinion. Nor were such defects injurious to me in my profession; on the contrary, aided as they were by a calm manner, and a presence not without that kind of dignity which is the livery of self-esteem, they served to impose respect and to inspire trust.
Maybe what I've referred to as my intellectual pride was more fed than I’d like to admit by the self-reliance that a strong physical presence often brings. Nature had gifted me with the body of an athlete. Among the tough youths of Northern Athens, I stood out for my feats of agility and strength. My mental efforts and the stress that comes with the serious responsibilities of being a doctor kept my health from reaching its full potential for enjoyment, but they didn’t lessen my remarkable physical strength. I walked through the crowd with the confident stride and proud posture of a knight in armor, feeling like I could take on anyone. This feeling of a strong individuality, defined by both disciplined reason and physical power, used to support others while needing no support itself, made me assertive in my will and somewhat arrogant in my opinions. However, these flaws didn’t harm my career; on the contrary, paired with my calm demeanor and a presence that had a dignity stemming from self-respect, they helped me earn respect and inspire trust.
CHAPTER II.
I had been about six years at L—— when I became suddenly involved in a controversy with Dr. Lloyd. Just as this ill-fated man appeared at the culminating point of his professional fortunes, he had the imprudence to proclaim himself not only an enthusiastic advocate of mesmerism as a curative process, but an ardent believer of the reality of somnambular clairvoyance as an invaluable gift of certain privileged organizations. To these doctrines I sternly opposed myself,—the more sternly, perhaps, because on these doctrines Dr. Lloyd founded an argument for the existence of soul, independent of mind, as of matter, and built thereon a superstructure of physiological fantasies, which, could it be substantiated, would replace every system of metaphysics on which recognized philosophy condescends to dispute.
I had been at L—— for about six years when I suddenly got into a disagreement with Dr. Lloyd. Just as this unfortunate man reached the peak of his career, he foolishly declared himself not only a passionate supporter of mesmerism as a healing method but also a firm believer in the existence of somnambulistic clairvoyance as a valuable gift of certain privileged groups. I strongly opposed these ideas—perhaps even more strongly because Dr. Lloyd used them to argue for the existence of the soul, separate from both the mind and the body, and built on that a foundation of physiological fantasies, which, if proven true, would replace every philosophical system that established debates in recognized philosophy.
About two years before he became a disciple rather of Puysegur than Mesmer (for Mesmer hard little faith in that gift of clairvoyance of which Puysegur was, I believe, at least in modern times, the first audacious asserter), Dr. Lloyd had been afflicted with the loss of a wife many years younger than himself, and to whom he had been tenderly attached. And this bereavement, in directing the hopes that consoled him to a world beyond the grave, had served perhaps to render him more credulous of the phenomena in which he greeted additional proofs of purely spiritual existence. Certainly, if, in controverting the notions of another physiologist, I had restricted myself to that fair antagonism which belongs to scientific disputants anxious only for the truth, I should need no apology for sincere conviction and honest argument; but when, with condescending good-nature, as if to a man much younger than himself, who was ignorant of the phenomena which he nevertheless denied, Dr. Lloyd invited me to attend his seances and witness his cures, my amour propre became aroused and nettled, and it seemed to me necessary to put down what I asserted to be too gross an outrage on common-sense to justify the ceremony of examination. I wrote, therefore, a small pamphlet on the subject, in which I exhausted all the weapons that irony can lend to contempt. Dr. Lloyd replied; and as he was no very skilful arguer, his reply injured him perhaps more than my assault. Meanwhile, I had made some inquiries as to the moral character of his favourite clairvoyants. I imagined that I had learned enough to justify me in treating them as flagrant cheats, and himself as their egregious dupe.
About two years before he became a follower of Puysegur instead of Mesmer (since Mesmer had little faith in the clairvoyance that Puysegur was, I believe, the first bold claim-maker of in modern times), Dr. Lloyd had lost a wife who was many years younger than him, and to whom he had been very attached. This loss had redirected his hopes for consolation to a world beyond the grave and may have made him more gullible toward the phenomena he saw as additional proof of purely spiritual existence. Certainly, if I had engaged in a respectful debate with another scientist solely interested in the truth, I wouldn’t need to apologize for holding sincere beliefs and making honest arguments. However, when, in a patronizing and friendly manner, as if to someone much younger and unaware of the phenomena he was denying, Dr. Lloyd invited me to join his seances and observe his cures, my pride was stirred, and I felt it necessary to challenge what I considered an outrageous affront to common sense that didn't merit formal examination. So, I wrote a small pamphlet on the topic, using every tool of irony to express my contempt. Dr. Lloyd responded, but since he wasn't a particularly skilled debater, his reply probably hurt him more than my attack. Meanwhile, I had looked into the moral character of his preferred clairvoyants and believed I had enough evidence to justify treating them as blatant frauds and him as their gullible victim.
Low Town soon ranged itself, with very few exceptions, on my side. The Hill at first seemed disposed to rally round its insulted physician, and to make the dispute a party question, in which the Hill would have been signally worsted, when suddenly the same lady paramount, who had secured to Dr. Lloyd the smile of the Eminence, spoke forth against him, and the Eminence frowned.
Low Town quickly lined up on my side, with hardly any exceptions. At first, the Hill seemed ready to support its offended doctor and turn the dispute into a political issue, one where the Hill would have definitely lost. Then, out of nowhere, the same influential lady who had won Dr. Lloyd the favor of the Eminence spoke out against him, and the Eminence frowned.
“Dr. Lloyd,” said the Queen of the Hill, “is an amiable creature, but on this subject decidedly cracked. Cracked poets may be all the better for being cracked,—cracked doctors are dangerous. Besides, in deserting that old-fashioned routine, his adherence to which made his claim to the Hill’s approbation, and unsettling the mind of the Hill with wild revolutionary theories, Dr. Lloyd has betrayed the principles on which the Hill itself rests its social foundations. Of those principles Dr. Fenwick has made himself champion; and the Hill is bound to support him. There, the question is settled!”
“Dr. Lloyd,” said the Queen of the Hill, “is a nice guy, but he’s definitely off his rocker when it comes to this topic. Crazy poets might actually benefit from being a little nuts, but crazy doctors are a risk. Plus, by rejecting that old-fashioned routine, which was what earned him the Hill's approval, and shaking things up with wild, revolutionary ideas, Dr. Lloyd has betrayed the principles that the Hill relies on for its social foundations. Dr. Fenwick is the one defending those principles now, and the Hill has to back him up. So, that settles it!”
And it was settled.
And that was decided.
From the moment Mrs. Colonel Poyntz thus issued the word of command, Dr. Lloyd was demolished. His practice was gone, as well as his repute. Mortification or anger brought on a stroke of paralysis which, disabling my opponent, put an end to our controversy. An obscure Dr. Jones, who had been the special pupil and protege of Dr. Lloyd, offered himself as a candidate for the Hill’s tongues and pulses. The Hill gave him little encouragement. It once more suspended its electoral privileges, and, without insisting on calling me up to it, the Hill quietly called me in whenever its health needed other advice than that of its visiting apothecary. Again it invited me, sometimes to dinner, often to tea; and again Miss Brabazon assured me by a sidelong glance that it was no fault of hers if I were still single.
From the moment Mrs. Colonel Poyntz gave the order, Dr. Lloyd was finished. He lost his practice and his reputation. Whether it was shame or anger, it triggered a stroke that incapacitated my rival and ended our argument. A little-known Dr. Jones, who had been Dr. Lloyd's special student and protégé, put himself forward as a candidate for the Hill’s discussions and treatments. The Hill showed him minimal support. It once again suspended its voting rights and, without bothering to formally summon me, quietly called me in whenever it needed advice beyond what its regular doctor could provide. It invited me over again, sometimes for dinner, often for tea; and once more, Miss Brabazon gave me a sidelong glance that hinted it wasn't her fault I was still single.
I had almost forgotten the dispute which had obtained for me so conspicuous a triumph, when one winter’s night I was roused from sleep by a summons to attend Dr Lloyd, who, attacked by a second stroke a few hours previously, had, on recovering sense, expressed a vehement desire to consult the rival by whom he had suffered so severely. I dressed myself in haste and hurried to his house.
I had nearly forgotten the argument that had brought me such a significant victory when one winter night I was woken from sleep by a call to go to Dr. Lloyd, who had suffered a second stroke a few hours earlier and, regaining his senses, had urgently requested to see the competitor who had caused him so much distress. I quickly got dressed and rushed to his house.
A February night, sharp and bitter; an iron-gray frost below, a spectral melancholy moon above. I had to ascend the Abbey Hill by a steep, blind lane between high walls. I passed through stately gates, which stood wide open, into the garden ground that surrounded the old Abbots’ House. At the end of a short carriage-drive the dark and gloomy building cleared itself from leafless skeleton trees,—the moon resting keen and cold on its abrupt gables and lofty chimney-stacks. An old woman-servant received me at the door, and, without saying a word, led me through a long low hall, and up dreary oak stairs, to a broad landing, at which she paused for a moment, listening. Round and about hall, staircase, and landing were ranged the dead specimens of the savage world which it had been the pride of the naturalist’s life to collect. Close where I stood yawned the open jaws of the fell anaconda, its lower coils hidden, as they rested on the floor below, by the winding of the massive stairs. Against the dull wainscot walls were pendent cases stored with grotesque unfamiliar mummies, seen imperfectly by the moon that shot through the window-panes, and the candle in the old woman’s hand. And as now she turned towards me, nodding her signal to follow, and went on up the shadowy passage, rows of gigantic birds—ibis and vulture, and huge sea glaucus—glared at me in the false light of their hungry eyes.
A February night, sharp and cold; a gray frost on the ground, a ghostly, sad moon above. I had to go up Abbey Hill by a steep, narrow lane between tall walls. I passed through grand gates that stood wide open, into the garden surrounding the old Abbots’ House. At the end of a short driveway, the dark and gloomy building emerged from the leafless, bare trees—with the moon shining sharply and coldly on its steep roofs and tall chimneys. An old woman servant greeted me at the door and, without saying a word, led me through a long, low hall and up dreary wooden stairs to a wide landing, where she paused for a moment, listening. Around the hall, staircase, and landing were displayed the dead specimens of the wild world that had been the pride of the naturalist’s life to collect. Close by, the gaping jaws of the fearsome anaconda were open, its lower coils hidden on the floor below by the winding of the massive stairs. Against the dull wooden walls were hanging cases filled with strange, unfamiliar mummies, barely visible in the moonlight filtering through the window panes and the candle in the old woman’s hand. And as she turned to me, nodding for me to follow, she continued up the shadowy passage, while rows of gigantic birds—ibis and vultures, and large sea glaucus—stared at me with their hungry eyes in the dim light.
So I entered the sick-room, and the first glance told me that my art was powerless there.
So I walked into the sick room, and at first glance, I realized that my skills couldn’t help there.
The children of the stricken widower were grouped round his bed, the eldest apparently about fifteen, the youngest four; one little girl—the only female child—was clinging to her father’s neck, her face pressed to his bosom, and in that room her sobs alone were loud.
The kids of the grieving widower were gathered around his bed, the oldest looking about fifteen and the youngest four; one little girl—the only daughter—was clinging to her dad’s neck, her face pressed against his chest, and in that room, her cries were the only sounds that stood out.
As I passed the threshold, Dr. Lloyd lifted his face, which had been bent over the weeping child, and gazed on me with an aspect of strange glee, which I failed to interpret. Then as I stole towards him softly and slowly, he pressed his lips on the long fair tresses that streamed wild over his breast, motioned to a nurse who stood beside his pillow to take the child away, and in a voice clearer than I could have expected in one on whose brow lay the unmistakable hand of death, he bade the nurse and the children quit the room. All went sorrowfully, but silently, save the little girl, who, borne off in the nurse’s arms, continued to sob as if her heart were breaking.
As I walked in, Dr. Lloyd looked up from the crying child, and his face showed a strange joy that I couldn't understand. I moved closer to him quietly, and he kissed the long, soft hair that fell messily over his chest. Then he signaled to a nurse next to his pillow to take the child away and, in a surprisingly clear voice for someone who was clearly near death, he told the nurse and the children to leave the room. Everyone left sadly but quietly, except for the little girl, who, carried by the nurse, kept crying as if her heart was breaking.
I was not prepared for a scene so affecting; it moved me to the quick. My eyes wistfully followed the children so soon to be orphans, as one after one went out into the dark chill shadow, and amidst the bloodless forms of the dumb brute nature, ranged in grisly vista beyond the death-room of man. And when the last infant shape had vanished, and the door closed with a jarring click, my sight wandered loiteringly around the chamber before I could bring myself to fix it on the broken form, beside which I now stood in all that glorious vigour of frame which had fostered the pride of my mind. In the moment consumed by my mournful survey, the whole aspect of the place impressed itself ineffaceably on lifelong remembrance. Through the high, deepsunken casement, across which the thin, faded curtain was but half drawn, the moonlight rushed, and then settled on the floor in one shroud of white glimmer, lost under the gloom of the death-bed. The roof was low, and seemed lower still by heavy intersecting beams, which I might have touched with my lifted hand. And the tall guttering candle by the bedside, and the flicker from the fire struggling out through the fuel but newly heaped on it, threw their reflection on the ceiling just over my head in a reek of quivering blackness, like an angry cloud.
I wasn't ready for such an emotional scene; it hit me hard. I watched the children, soon to be orphans, as they stepped one by one into the dark, cold shadow, amidst the lifeless forms of nature spread out gruesomely beyond the man's deathbed. And when the last little figure had disappeared, and the door shut with a jarring click, my gaze drifted slowly around the room before I could force myself to focus on the broken shape beside me, once full of the vitality that had made me proud. During my somber survey, the entire atmosphere of the place etched itself in my memory for life. Moonlight rushed through the high, deeply set window, where a thin, faded curtain was only partially drawn, and settled on the floor in a shroud of white light, lost beneath the shadow of the deathbed. The ceiling felt low, even lower with heavy wooden beams intersecting it, which I could have touched with my outstretched hand. The tall, flickering candle by the bedside and the fire struggling to burn through the freshly added fuel cast their reflections on the ceiling just above me in a swirling darkness, like an angry cloud.
Suddenly I felt my arm grasped; with his left hand (the right side was already lifeless) the dying man drew me towards him nearer and nearer, till his lips almost touched my ear, and, in a voice now firm, now splitting into gasp and hiss, thus he said, “I have summoned you to gaze on your own work! You have stricken down my life at the moment when it was most needed by my children, and most serviceable to mankind. Had I lived a few years longer, my children would have entered on manhood, safe from the temptations of want and undejected by the charity of strangers. Thanks to you, they will be penniless orphans. Fellow-creatures afflicted by maladies your pharmacopoeia had failed to reach came to me for relief, and they found it. ‘The effect of imagination,’ you say. What matters, if I directed the imagination to cure? Now you have mocked the unhappy ones out of their last chance of life. They will suffer and perish. Did you believe me in error? Still you knew that my object was research into truth. You employed against your brother in art venomous drugs and a poisoned probe. Look at me! Are you satisfied with your work?”
Suddenly, I felt someone grab my arm; the dying man pulled me closer with his left hand (his right side was already lifeless) until his lips nearly touched my ear. In a voice that was sometimes steady and sometimes fractured with gasps and hisses, he said, “I’ve called you to look at what you’ve done! You took my life just when it was needed most by my children and could have benefited humanity. If I had lived a few more years, my kids would have reached adulthood, protected from the struggles of poverty and not relying on the charity of strangers. Thanks to you, they’ll be left as broke orphans. People suffering from illnesses that your medicines couldn't help came to me for relief, and I was able to provide it. You call it ‘the effect of imagination.’ What does it matter if I used imagination to heal? Now you’ve robbed those poor souls of their last chance at life. They will suffer and die. Did you think I was mistaken? Still, you knew my goal was to seek the truth. You used toxic drugs and a poisoned probe against your fellow artists. Look at me! Are you proud of your work?”
I sought to draw back and pluck my arm from the dying man’s grasp. I could not do so without using a force that would have been inhuman. His lips drew nearer still to my ear.
I tried to pull away and free my arm from the dying man's grip. I couldn't do it without using a strength that felt unnatural. His lips came even closer to my ear.
“Vain pretender, do not boast that you brought a genius for epigram to the service of science. Science is lenient to all who offer experiment as the test of conjecture. You are of the stuff of which inquisitors are made. You cry that truth is profaned when your dogmas are questioned. In your shallow presumption you have meted the dominions of nature, and where your eye halts its vision, you say, ‘There nature must close;’ in the bigotry which adds crime to presumption, you would stone the discoverer who, in annexing new realms to her chart, unsettles your arbitrary landmarks. Verily, retribution shall await you! In those spaces which your sight has disdained to explore you shall yourself be a lost and bewildered straggler. Hist! I see them already! The gibbering phantoms are gathering round you!”
“Vain pretender, don’t brag that you brought a genius for epigrams to the field of science. Science is forgiving to anyone who uses experimentation as a way to test their theories. You are made of the same stuff as inquisitors. You shout that truth is violated when your beliefs are questioned. In your shallow arrogance, you’ve mapped out the realms of nature, and where your vision stops, you claim, ‘Nature must end here;’ in the narrow-mindedness that adds wrongdoing to arrogance, you would condemn the discoverer who, by adding new areas to her map, disrupts your arbitrary boundaries. Truly, retribution will be yours! In those areas your eyes have refused to explore, you will find yourself a lost and confused wanderer. Hush! I can see them already! The whispering phantoms are closing in on you!”
The man’s voice stopped abruptly; his eye fixed in a glazing stare; his hand relaxed its hold; he fell back on his pillow. I stole from the room; on the landing-place I met the nurse and the old woman-servant. Happily the children were not there. But I heard the wail of the female child from some room not far distant.
The man’s voice suddenly stopped; his gaze became unfocused; his grip loosened; he sank back onto his pillow. I quietly left the room; on the landing, I ran into the nurse and the elderly maid. Thankfully, the kids weren’t around. But I could hear the cries of the little girl from a nearby room.
I whispered hurriedly to the nurse, “All is over!” passed again under the jaws of the vast anaconda, and on through the blind lane between the dead walls, on through the ghastly streets, under the ghastly moon, went back to my solitary home.
I whispered quickly to the nurse, “It’s all over!” I passed again under the jaws of the huge anaconda, and through the dark path between the lifeless walls, through the eerie streets, beneath the pale moon, and returned to my lonely home.
CHAPTER III.
It was some time before I could shake off the impression made on me by the words and the look of that dying man.
It took me a while to get over the impact of that dying man's words and his gaze.
It was not that my conscience upbraided me. What had I done? Denounced that which I held, in common with most men of sense in or out of my profession, to be one of those illusions by which quackery draws profit from the wonder of ignorance. Was I to blame if I refused to treat with the grave respect due to asserted discovery in legitimate science pretensions to powers akin to the fables of wizards? Was I to descend from the Academe of decorous science to examine whether a slumbering sibyl could read from a book placed at her back, or tell me at L—— what at that moment was being done by my friend at the Antipodes?
It wasn't that my conscience was bothering me. What had I done? I called out something that I, like most reasonable people in or out of my field, believed to be one of those illusions that quackery uses to profit from the ignorance of others. Was I at fault for not treating with the serious respect that so-called discoveries in legitimate science deserve, claims to powers similar to the tales of wizards? Should I lower myself from the realm of respectable science to check if a sleeping oracle could read from a book placed behind her back, or tell me what my friend was doing at the other side of the world?
And what though Dr. Lloyd himself might be a worthy and honest man, and a sincere believer in the extravagances for which he demanded an equal credulity in others, do not honest men every day incur the penalty of ridicule if, from a defect of good sense, they make themselves ridiculous? Could I have foreseen that a satire so justly provoked would inflict so deadly a wound? Was I inhumanly barbarous because the antagonist destroyed was morbidly sensitive? My conscience, therefore, made me no reproach, and the public was as little severe as my conscience. The public had been with me in our contest; the public knew nothing of my opponent’s deathbed accusations; the public knew only that I had attended him in his last moments; it saw me walk beside the bier that bore him to his grave; it admired the respect to his memory which I evinced in the simple tomb that I placed over his remains, inscribed with an epitaph that did justice to his unquestionable benevolence and integrity; above all, it praised the energy with which I set on foot a subscription for his orphan children, and the generosity with which I headed that subscription by a sum that was large in proportion to my means.
And even though Dr. Lloyd was a decent and honest man, and genuinely believed in the wild ideas for which he expected others to also believe, don't honest people often face ridicule when they act foolishly? Could I have predicted that a satire, so rightly provoked, would cause such a deep wound? Was I cruel because my opponent was overly sensitive? Thus, my conscience gave me no guilt, and the public was as forgiving as my conscience. The public had supported me in our conflict; they knew nothing of my opponent’s deathbed accusations; they only knew that I was there with him in his final moments; they saw me walk beside the coffin that carried him to his grave; they admired the respect I showed for his memory with the simple tomb I placed over his remains, engraved with an epitaph that honored his undeniable kindness and integrity; above all, they praised the effort I put into organizing a fundraiser for his orphaned children, as well as the generous contribution I made, which was substantial relative to my means.
To that sum I did not, indeed, limit my contribution. The sobs of the poor female child rang still on my heart. As her grief had been keener than that of her brothers, so she might be subjected to sharper trials than they, when the time came for her to fight her own way through the world; therefore I secured to her, but with such precautions that the gift could not be traced to my hand, a sum to accumulate till she was of marriageable age, and which then might suffice for a small wedding portion; or if she remained single, for an income that would place her beyond the temptation of want, or the bitterness of a servile dependence.
To that amount, I didn't actually limit my contribution. The cries of the poor little girl still echoed in my heart. Since her sorrow was deeper than her brothers', she would likely face tougher challenges when it was time for her to navigate the world on her own. So, I set aside some money for her, but with enough precautions that it couldn't be traced back to me. This money would grow until she was old enough to marry, providing a small dowry; or if she stayed single, it could offer her an income that would keep her from the struggles of poverty and the pain of being dependent on others.
That Dr. Lloyd should have died in poverty was a matter of surprise at first, for his profits during the last few years had been considerable, and his mode of life far from extravagant. But just before the date of our controversy he had been induced to assist the brother of his lost wife, who was a junior partner in a London bank, with the loan of his accumulated savings. This man proved dishonest; he embezzled that and other sums intrusted to him, and fled the country. The same sentiment of conjugal affection which had cost Dr. Lloyd his fortune kept him silent as to the cause of the loss. It was reserved for his executors to discover the treachery of the brother-in-law whom he, poor man, would have generously screened from additional disgrace.
That Dr. Lloyd died in poverty was surprising at first, given that he had made a decent income in recent years and lived a simple life. However, just before our disagreement, he was persuaded to help his late wife’s brother, who was a junior partner at a bank in London, by lending him his savings. This man turned out to be dishonest; he embezzled that money and other funds entrusted to him and fled the country. The same sentiment of marital love that cost Dr. Lloyd his wealth kept him from speaking about the reason for his financial loss. It fell to his executors to uncover the betrayal of the brother-in-law whom he, poor man, would have generously protected from further shame.
The Mayor of L——, a wealthy and public-spirited merchant, purchased the museum, which Dr. Lloyd’s passion for natural history had induced him to form; and the sum thus obtained, together with that raised by subscription, sufficed not only to discharge all debts due by the deceased, but to insure to the orphans the benefits of an education that might fit at least the boys to enter fairly armed into that game, more of skill than of chance, in which Fortune is really so little blinded that we see, in each turn of her wheel, wealth and its honours pass away from the lax fingers of ignorance and sloth, to the resolute grasp of labour and knowledge.
The Mayor of L——, a wealthy and community-minded merchant, bought the museum that Dr. Lloyd had created out of his love for natural history. The money raised, along with donations, was enough not only to pay off all the debts owed by the deceased but also to provide the orphans with an education. This education could at least prepare the boys to step into the game of life, which is more about skill than luck. In this game, it's clear that Fortune is not as blind as it seems, as we can see in each turn of her wheel that wealth and honors shift away from the careless hands of ignorance and laziness to the determined grasp of hard work and knowledge.
Meanwhile a relation in a distant county undertook the charge of the orphans; they disappeared from the scene, and the tides of life in a commercial community soon flowed over the place which the dead man had occupied in the thoughts of his bustling townsfolk.
Meanwhile, a relative in a faraway county took on the responsibility of the orphans; they vanished from sight, and the rhythms of life in a business-oriented community quickly covered the space that the deceased had held in the minds of his busy townspeople.
One person at L——, and only one, appeared to share and inherit the rancour with which the poor physician had denounced me on his death-bed. It was a gentleman named Vigors, distantly related to the deceased, and who had been, in point of station, the most eminent of Dr. Lloyd’s partisans in the controversy with myself, a man of no great scholastic acquirements, but of respectable abilities. He had that kind of power which the world concedes to respectable abilities when accompanied with a temper more than usually stern, and a moral character more than usually austere. His ruling passion was to sit in judgment upon others; and being a magistrate, he was the most active and the most rigid of all the magistrates L—— had ever known.
One person at L——, and only one, seemed to share and carry on the bitterness with which the poor doctor had condemned me on his deathbed. It was a man named Vigors, who was distantly related to the deceased and had been, in terms of status, the most prominent of Dr. Lloyd’s supporters in the dispute with me. He wasn’t particularly scholarly but had respectable abilities. He held a type of influence that the world grants to competent people when it’s paired with a notably stern demeanor and an unusually strict moral character. His main passion was to judge others; and since he was a magistrate, he was the most active and the strictest magistrate L—— had ever seen.
Mr. Vigors at first spoke of me with great bitterness, as having ruined, and in fact killed, his friend, by the uncharitable and unfair acerbity which he declared I had brought into what ought to have been an unprejudiced examination of simple matter of fact. But finding no sympathy in these charges, he had the discretion to cease from making them, contenting himself with a solemn shake of his head if he heard my name mentioned in terms of praise, and an oracular sentence or two, such as “Time will show,” “All’s well that ends well,” etc. Mr. Vigors, however, mixed very little in the more convivial intercourse of the townspeople. He called himself domestic; but, in truth, he was ungenial,—a stiff man, starched with self-esteem. He thought that his dignity of station was not sufficiently acknowledged by the merchants of Low Town, and his superiority of intellect not sufficiently recognized by the exclusives of the Hill. His visits were, therefore, chiefly confined to the houses of neighbouring squires, to whom his reputation as a magistrate, conjoined with his solemn exterior, made him one of those oracles by which men consent to be awed on condition that the awe is not often inflicted. And though he opened his house three times a week, it was only to a select few, whom he first fed and then biologized. Electro-biology was very naturally the special entertainment of a man whom no intercourse ever pleased in which his will was not imposed upon others. Therefore he only invited to his table persons whom he could stare into the abnegation of their senses, willing to say that beef was lamb, or brandy was coffee, according as he willed them to say. And, no doubt, the persons asked would have said anything he willed, so long as they had, in substance, as well as in idea, the beef and the brandy, the lamb and the coffee. I did not, then, often meet Mr. Vigors at the houses in which I occasionally spent my evenings. I heard of his enmity as a man safe in his home hears the sough of a wind on a common without. If now and then we chanced to pass in the streets, he looked up at me (he was a small man walking on tiptoe) with a sullen scowl of dislike; and from the height of my stature, I dropped upon the small man and sullen scowl the affable smile of supreme indifference.
Mr. Vigors initially spoke about me with a lot of anger, claiming I had ruined and even killed his friend with the unkind and unfair bitterness he said I had brought into what should have been an impartial discussion of simple facts. But when he found no support for these accusations, he wisely stopped making them, contenting himself with a serious shake of his head whenever he heard my name mentioned positively, along with a few cryptic remarks like “Time will show” or “All’s well that ends well.” However, Mr. Vigors didn’t engage much in the friendly gatherings of the townspeople. He referred to himself as domestic, but in reality, he was unfriendly—a stiff man full of self-importance. He believed that the merchants of Low Town didn’t properly acknowledge his status, and that the elite of the Hill didn’t recognize his intellectual superiority. As a result, he mostly visited the homes of nearby landowners, where his reputation as a magistrate and his serious demeanor made him one of those authorities whom people agree to respect as long as that respect isn’t demanded too frequently. Even though he opened his home three times a week, it was only for a select few whom he would first feed and then quiz about various topics. Electro-biology was naturally the main entertainment for a man who was never pleased by any interaction unless he could impose his will on others. Therefore, he only invited people to his table whom he could dominate to the point of convincing them that beef was lamb or brandy was coffee, depending on how he wanted them to agree. And, without a doubt, the guests would have said anything he desired, as long as they had, in both reality and concept, the beef and brandy, or lamb and coffee. I didn’t often see Mr. Vigors at the homes where I sometimes spent my evenings. I heard about his disdain like someone safe in their home hears the sound of wind outside. If we happened to cross paths in the streets, he would look up at me (he was a small man walking on tiptoe) with a gloomy scowl of dislike; from my taller vantage point, I would respond to his small figure and sullen expression with an amiable smile of complete indifference.
CHAPTER IV.
I had now arrived at that age when an ambitious man, satisfied with his progress in the world without, begins to feel in the cravings of unsatisfied affection the void of a solitary hearth. I resolved to marry, and looked out for a wife. I had never hitherto admitted into my life the passion of love. In fact, I had regarded that passion, even in my earlier youth, with a certain superb contempt,—as a malady engendered by an effeminate idleness, and fostered by a sickly imagination.
I had reached the age when an ambitious man, pleased with his success in the world, starts to feel the emptiness of a lonely home due to unfulfilled desire for affection. I decided to get married and began searching for a wife. Until that point, I had never allowed love into my life. In fact, I had looked at love, even in my younger days, with a sense of prideful disdain—as a disease brought on by weak laziness and nurtured by a fragile imagination.
I wished to find in a wife a rational companion, an affectionate and trustworthy friend. No views of matrimony could be less romantic, more soberly sensible, than those which I conceived. Nor were my requirements mercenary or presumptuous. I cared not for fortune; I asked nothing from connections. My ambition was exclusively professional; it could be served by no titled kindred, accelerated by no wealthy dower. I was no slave to beauty. I did not seek in a wife the accomplishments of a finishing-school teacher.
I wanted a wife who was a sensible partner, a caring and reliable friend. My ideas about marriage were far from romantic; they were realistic and practical. My requirements weren't about money or status. I didn't care about wealth or social connections. My goals were purely professional, and they couldn't be helped by any noble family ties or a big financial settlement. I wasn't obsessed with looks. I didn't want a wife just for her finishing-school skills.
Having decided that the time had come to select my helpmate, I imagined that I should find no difficulty in a choice that my reason would approve. But day upon day, week upon week, passed away, and though among the families I visited there were many young ladies who possessed more than the qualifications with which I conceived that I should be amply contented, and by whom I might flatter myself that my proposals would not be disdained, I saw not one to whose lifelong companionship I should not infinitely have preferred the solitude I found so irksome.
Having decided it was time to choose my partner, I thought I would have no trouble making a decision that my mind would agree with. But day after day, week after week, went by, and even though there were many young women among the families I visited who had more than enough qualities to satisfy my expectations, and whom I believed would accept my proposals, I didn’t find a single one whose lifelong companionship I wouldn’t infinitely have preferred to the loneliness I found so bothersome.
One evening, in returning home from visiting a poor female patient whom I attended gratuitously, and whose case demanded more thought than that of any other in my list,—for though it had been considered hopeless in the hospital, and she had come home to die, I felt certain that I could save her, and she seemed recovering under my care,—one evening—it was the fifteenth of May—I found myself just before the gates of the house that had been inhabited by Dr. Lloyd. Since his death the house had been unoccupied; the rent asked for it by the proprietor was considered high; and from the sacred Hill on which it was situated, shyness or pride banished the wealthier traders. The garden gates stood wide open, as they had stood on the winter night on which I had passed through them to the chamber of death. The remembrance of that deathbed came vividly before me, and the dying man’s fantastic threat rang again in my startled ears. An irresistible impulse, which I could not then account for, and which I cannot account for now,—an impulse the reverse of that which usually makes us turn away with quickened step from a spot that recalls associations of pain,—urged me on through the open gates up the neglected grass-grown road, urged me to look, under the weltering sun of the joyous spring, at that house which I had never seen but in the gloom of a winter night, under the melancholy moon. As the building came in sight, with dark-red bricks, partially overgrown with ivy, I perceived that it was no longer unoccupied. I saw forms passing athwart the open windows; a van laden with articles of furniture stood before the door; a servant in livery was beside it giving directions to the men who were unloading. Evidently some family was just entering into possession. I felt somewhat ashamed of my trespass, and turned round quickly to retrace my steps. I had retreated but a few yards, when I saw before me, at the entrance gates, Mr. Vigors, walking beside a lady apparently of middle age; while, just at hand, a path cut through the shrubs gave view of a small wicketgate at the end of the grounds. I felt unwilling not only to meet the lady, whom I guessed to be the new occupier, and to whom I should have to make a somewhat awkward apology for intrusion, but still more to encounter the scornful look of Mr. Vigors in what appeared to my pride a false or undignified position. Involuntarily, therefore, I turned down the path which would favour my escape unobserved. When about half way between the house and the wicket-gate, the shrubs that had clothed the path on either side suddenly opened to the left, bringing into view a circle of sward, surrounded by irregular fragments of old brickwork partially covered with ferns, creepers, or rockplants, weeds, or wild flowers; and, in the centre of the circle, a fountain, or rather well, over which was built a Gothic monastic dome, or canopy, resting on small Norman columns, time-worn, dilapidated. A large willow overhung this unmistakable relic of the ancient abbey. There was an air of antiquity, romance, legend about this spot, so abruptly disclosed amidst the delicate green of the young shrubberies. But it was not the ruined wall nor the Gothic well that chained my footstep and charmed my eye.
One evening, on my way home from visiting a poor female patient I was treating for free, and whose situation required more thought than any other case on my list—because even though it had been seen as hopeless at the hospital and she had come home to die, I was sure I could save her, and she seemed to be improving under my care—one evening—it was May 15th—I found myself just before the gates of the house where Dr. Lloyd had lived. Since his death, the house had been empty; the rent the owner asked for it was considered steep; and the wealthy traders had been deterred from the sacred Hill where it was located, either out of shyness or pride. The garden gates were wide open, just as they had been on that winter night when I passed through them to the death chamber. The memory of that deathbed came rushing back to me, and the dying man's bizarre threat echoed in my startled ears. An irresistible impulse, which I couldn’t explain then and still can’t now—a feeling that was the opposite of what usually makes us quickly walk away from a place that brings back painful memories—compelled me through the open gates along the neglected, grass-grown path, urging me to see, under the blazing sun of joyful spring, that house which I had only seen in the gloom of a winter night under a sad moon. As the building came into view, with dark-red bricks partially covered in ivy, I realized it was no longer empty. I saw figures moving past the open windows; a van loaded with furniture was parked in front of the door; a uniformed servant was next to it, directing the men who were unloading. Clearly, some family was just moving in. I felt a bit embarrassed about my intrusion and quickly turned to retrace my steps. I had only taken a few yards back when I saw Mr. Vigors at the entrance gates, walking alongside a lady who seemed to be of middle age; nearby, a path cut through the shrubs revealed a small wicket gate at the end of the grounds. I felt hesitant not only to meet the lady, who I guessed was the new occupant and to whom I would have to awkwardly apologize for intruding, but even more so to face Mr. Vigors’ scornful gaze, which I saw as undignified in my current situation. Therefore, I involuntarily turned down the path that would help me escape unnoticed. About halfway between the house and the wicket gate, the shrubs on either side of the path suddenly opened to the left, revealing a circle of grass surrounded by bits of old brickwork partially covered in ferns, vines, or wildflowers; and in the center of the circle, a fountain—or rather a well—was crowned with a Gothic dome or canopy, resting on small, timeworn Norman columns. A large willow cast its shadow over this unmistakable relic of the ancient abbey. There was an air of history, romance, and legend about this spot, which was so abruptly revealed amidst the delicate green of the young shrubs. But it wasn’t the ruined wall or the Gothic well that held me captive or captivated my gaze.
It was a solitary human form, seated amidst the mournful ruins.
It was a lone figure, sitting among the sorrowful ruins.
The form was so slight, the face so young, that at the first glance I murmured to myself, “What a lovely child!” But as my eye lingered it recognized in the upturned thoughtful brow, in the sweet, serious aspect, in the rounded outlines of that slender shape, the inexpressible dignity of virgin woman.
The figure was so delicate, the face so youthful, that at first glance I whispered to myself, “What a beautiful child!” But as I looked closer, I noticed in the thoughtful, lifted brow, in the sweet, serious look, in the gentle curves of that slender form, the indescribable dignity of a pure woman.
A book was on her lap, at her feet a little basket, half-filled with violets and blossoms culled from the rock-plants that nestled amidst the ruins. Behind her, the willow, like an emerald waterfall, showered down its arching abundant green, bough after bough, from the tree-top to the sward, descending in wavy verdure, bright towards the summit, in the smile of the setting sun, and darkening into shadow as it neared the earth.
A book rested on her lap, and at her feet was a small basket, half-filled with violets and flowers picked from the rock-plants growing among the ruins. Behind her, the willow, like a cascading emerald waterfall, draped its lush green branches down, arching from the top of the tree to the ground, flowing in wavy shades of green, bright near the top in the glow of the setting sun, and deepening into shadow as it reached the earth.
She did not notice, she did not see me; her eyes were fixed upon the horizon, where it sloped farthest into space, above the treetops and the ruins,—fixed so intently that mechanically I turned my own gaze to follow the flight of hers. It was as if she watched for some expected, familiar sign to grow out from the depths of heaven; perhaps to greet, before other eyes beheld it, the ray of the earliest star.
She didn't notice me; her eyes were focused on the horizon, where it dipped farthest into the sky, above the treetops and the ruins—so intensely that I instinctively shifted my own gaze to follow hers. It was as if she was waiting for some expected, familiar sign to emerge from the depths of the heavens; maybe to welcome, before anyone else saw it, the light of the first star.
The birds dropped from the boughs on the turf around her so fearlessly that one alighted amidst the flowers in the little basket at her feet. There is a famous German poem, which I had read in my youth, called the Maiden from Abroad, variously supposed to be an allegory of Spring, or of Poetry, according to the choice of commentators: it seemed to me as if the poem had been made for her. Verily, indeed, in her, poet or painter might have seen an image equally true to either of those adornments of the earth; both outwardly a delight to sense, yet both wakening up thoughts within us, not sad, but akin to sadness.
The birds swooped down from the branches onto the grass around her so fearlessly that one even landed among the flowers in the little basket at her feet. There’s a famous German poem I read in my youth called the Maiden from Abroad, which is thought to be an allegory of Spring or Poetry, depending on who you ask. It felt like the poem was written for her. Truly, any poet or artist could see in her an embodiment that perfectly represented both of those beautiful aspects of life; both a visual pleasure, yet stirring thoughts in us that are not sad but have a hint of sadness.
I heard now a step behind me, and a voice which I recognized to be that of Mr. Vigors. I broke from the charm by which I had been so lingeringly spell-bound, hurried on confusedly, gained the wicket-gate, from which a short flight of stairs descended into the common thoroughfare. And there the every-day life lay again before me. On the opposite side, houses, shops, church-spires; a few steps more, and the bustling streets! How immeasurably far from, yet how familiarly near to, the world in which we move and have being is that fairy-land of romance which opens out from the hard earth before us, when Love steals at first to our side, fading back into the hard earth again as Love smiles or sighs its farewell!
I heard a step behind me and recognized Mr. Vigors' voice. I broke free from the spell that had held me captive, hurriedly moved on in a daze, and reached the wicket-gate, from which a short flight of stairs led down to the main street. And there lay everyday life before me again. On the opposite side were houses, shops, and church spires; a few more steps, and I’d be in the bustling streets! How incredibly far, yet how comfortingly close, is that fairy-tale world of romance that opens up from the hard ground before us, when Love first comes to our side, only to fade back into reality again as Love smiles or sighs its goodbye!
CHAPTER V.
And before that evening I had looked on Mr. Vigors with supreme indifference! What importance he now assumed in my eyes! The lady with whom I had seen him was doubtless the new tenant of that house in which the young creature by whom my heart was so strangely moved evidently had her home. Most probably the relation between the two ladies was that of mother and daughter. Mr. Vigors, the friend of one, might himself be related to both, might prejudice them against me, might—Here, starting up, I snapped the thread of conjecture, for right before my eyes, on the table beside which I had seated myself on entering my room, lay a card of invitation:—
And before that evening, I had viewed Mr. Vigors with complete indifference! Now he seemed incredibly important to me! The woman I had seen him with was probably the new tenant of that house where the young woman who had moved me so deeply clearly lived. Most likely, the relationship between the two women was that of mother and daughter. Mr. Vigors, being friends with one, could very well be related to both, could turn them against me, might—Here, I suddenly stood up, breaking off my train of thought, because right in front of me on the table beside where I had sat down when I entered my room lay an invitation card:—
MRS. POYNTZ. At Home, Wednesday, May 15th. Early.
MRS. POYNTZ. At Home, Wednesday, May 15th. Early.
Mrs. Poyntz,—Mrs. Colonel Poyntz, the Queen of the Hill? There, at her house, I could not fail to learn all about the new comers, who could never without her sanction have settled on her domain.
Mrs. Poyntz—Mrs. Colonel Poyntz, the Queen of the Hill? At her house, I was sure to find out everything about the newcomers, who couldn't have settled in her territory without her approval.
I hastily changed my dress, and, with beating heart, wound my way up the venerable eminence.
I quickly changed my dress and, with a pounding heart, made my way up the old hill.
I did not pass through the lane which led direct to Abbots’ House (for that old building stood solitary amidst its grounds a little apart from the spacious platform on which the society of the Hill was concentrated), but up the broad causeway, with vistaed gaslamps; the gayer shops still-unclosed, the tide of busy life only slowly ebbing from the still-animated street, on to a square, in which the four main thoroughfares of the city converged, and which formed the boundary of Low Town. A huge dark archway, popularly called Monk’s Gate, at the angle of this square, made the entrance to Abbey Hill. When the arch was passed, one felt at once that one was in the town of a former day. The pavement was narrow and rugged; the shops small, their upper stories projecting, with here and there plastered fronts, quaintly arabesque. An ascent, short, but steep and tortuous, conducted at once to the old Abbey Church, nobly situated in a vast quadrangle, round which were the genteel and gloomy dwellings of the Areopagites of the Hill. More genteel and less gloomy than the rest—lights at the windows and flowers on the balcony—stood forth, flanked by a garden wall at either side, the mansion of Mrs. Colonel Poyntz.
I didn’t take the lane that led directly to Abbots' House (that old building sat lonely in its grounds a bit away from the spacious area where the Hill community was gathered), but instead went up the wide walkway lined with gas lamps; the livelier shops were still open, and the bustle of life was slowly fading from the still-busy street, leading to a square where the four main streets of the city met, marking the edge of Low Town. A large dark archway, commonly known as Monk’s Gate, stood at the corner of this square, serving as the entrance to Abbey Hill. Once you passed under the arch, you immediately felt like you were in a town from long ago. The sidewalk was narrow and uneven; the shops were small, with their upper floors jutting out, and here and there were houses with quirky plaster designs. A short but steep and winding path led directly to the old Abbey Church, beautifully located in a vast courtyard, surrounded by the refined yet somber homes of the Areopagites of the Hill. More elegant and less gloomy than the rest—lights in the windows and flowers on the balcony—stood the house of Mrs. Colonel Poyntz, flanked by garden walls on either side.
As I entered the drawing-room, I heard the voice of the hostess; it was a voice clear, decided, metallic, bell-like, uttering these words: “Taken Abbots’ House? I will tell you.”
As I walked into the living room, I heard the hostess's voice; it was clear, strong, metallic, and bell-like, saying: “Got Abbots’ House? I’ll tell you.”
CHAPTER VI.
Mrs. Poyntz was seated on the sofa; at her right sat fat Mrs. Bruce, who was a Scotch lord’s grand-daughter; at her left thin Miss Brabazon, who was an Irish baronet’s niece. Around her—a few seated, many standing—had grouped all the guests, save two old gentlemen, who had remained aloof with Colonel Poyntz near the whist-table, waiting for the fourth old gentleman who was to make up the rubber, but who was at that moment spell-bound in the magic circle which curiosity, that strongest of social demons, had attracted round the hostess.
Mrs. Poyntz was sitting on the sofa; to her right was plump Mrs. Bruce, who was the granddaughter of a Scottish lord; to her left was slim Miss Brabazon, who was the niece of an Irish baronet. Surrounding her—some seated, many standing—were all the guests except for two elderly gentlemen, who had stayed away with Colonel Poyntz near the whist table, waiting for the fourth old gentleman who was supposed to join the game, but who was at that moment captivated by the magic circle that curiosity, the strongest of social forces, had drawn around the hostess.
“Taken Abbots’ House? I will tell you.—Ah, Dr. Fenwick, charmed to see you. You know Abbots’ House is let at last? Well, Miss Brabazon, dear, you ask who has taken it. I will inform you,—a particular friend of mine.”
“Someone took Abbots’ House? Let me tell you.—Oh, Dr. Fenwick, great to see you. You know Abbots’ House is finally rented out? Well, Miss Brabazon, sweetheart, you’re asking who got it. I’ll tell you—it's a close friend of mine.”
“Indeed! Dear me!” said Miss Brabazon, looking confused. “I hope I did not say anything to—”
“Wow! Oh dear!” said Miss Brabazon, looking puzzled. “I hope I didn’t say anything to—”
“Wound my feelings. Not in the least. You said your uncle Sir Phelim employed a coachmaker named Ashleigh, that Ashleigh was an uncommon name, though Ashley was a common one; you intimated an appalling suspicion that the Mrs. Ashleigh who had come to the Hill was the coach maker’s widow. I relieve your mind,—she is not; she is the widow of Gilbert Ashleigh, of Kirby Hall.”
“Offended my feelings? Not at all. You mentioned that your uncle Sir Phelim hired a coachmaker named Ashleigh, and you noted that Ashleigh is a rare name, while Ashley is quite common; you suggested a shocking thought that the Mrs. Ashleigh who came to the Hill was the coachmaker's widow. Let me put your mind at ease—she is not; she is the widow of Gilbert Ashleigh from Kirby Hall.”
“Gilbert Ashleigh,” said one of the guests, a bachelor, whose parents had reared him for the Church, but who, like poor Goldsmith, did not think himself good enough for it, a mistake of over-modesty, for he matured into a very harmless creature. “Gilbert Ashleigh? I was at Oxford with him,—a gentleman commoner of Christ Church. Good-looking man, very; sapped—”
“Gilbert Ashleigh,” said one of the guests, a bachelor whose parents had raised him for the Church, but who, like poor Goldsmith, didn’t think he was good enough for it, a case of being overly modest, because he grew into a very harmless guy. “Gilbert Ashleigh? I went to Oxford with him—a gentleman commoner at Christ Church. Good-looking guy, for sure; sapped—”
“Sapped! what’s that?—Oh, studied. That he did all his life. He married young,—Anne Chaloner; she and I were girls together; married the same year. They settled at Kirby Hall—nice place, but dull. Poyntz and I spent a Christmas there. Ashleigh when he talked was charming, but he talked very little. Anne, when she talked, was commonplace, and she talked very much. Naturally, poor thing,—-she was so happy. Poyntz and I did not spend another Christmas there. Friendship is long, but life is short. Gilbert Ashleigh’s life was short indeed; he died in the seventh year of his marriage, leaving only one child, a girl. Since then, though I never spent another Christmas at Kirby Hall, I have frequently spent a day there, doing my best to cheer up Anne. She was no longer talkative, poor dear. Wrapped up in her child, who has now grown into a beautiful girl of eighteen—such eyes, her father’s—the real dark blue—rare; sweet creature, but delicate; not, I hope, consumptive, but delicate; quiet, wants life. My girl Jane adores her. Jane has life enough for two.”
“Drained! What’s that?—Oh, he was well-studied. He dedicated his whole life to it. He married young—Anne Chaloner; she and I grew up together and got married the same year. They settled at Kirby Hall—nice place, but pretty dull. Poyntz and I spent a Christmas there. Ashleigh was charming when he spoke, but he didn’t say much. Anne, on the other hand, was ordinary when she talked, and she talked a lot. Naturally, poor thing—she was so happy. Poyntz and I didn’t spend another Christmas there. Friendship lasts long, but life is short. Gilbert Ashleigh’s life was indeed short; he died in the seventh year of their marriage, leaving behind only one child, a girl. Since then, even though I never spent another Christmas at Kirby Hall, I’ve often spent a day there, trying my best to lift Anne’s spirits. She wasn’t talkative anymore, poor dear. She was completely absorbed in her child, who has now grown into a beautiful eighteen-year-old girl—with her father's real dark blue eyes—rare; a sweet girl, but delicate; not, I hope, sickly, but delicate; quiet, needing excitement in her life. My girl Jane adores her. Jane has enough energy for two.”
“Is Miss Ashleigh the heiress to Kirby Hall?” asked Mrs. Bruce, who had an unmarried son.
“Is Miss Ashleigh the heir to Kirby Hall?” asked Mrs. Bruce, who had an unmarried son.
“No. Kirby Hall passed to Ashleigh Sumner, the male heir, a cousin. And the luckiest of cousins! Gilbert’s sister, showy woman (indeed all show), had contrived to marry her kinsman, Sir Walter Ashleigh Haughton, the head of the Ashleigh family,—just the man made to be the reflector of a showy woman! He died years ago, leaving an only son, Sir James, who was killed last winter, by a fall from his horse. And here, again, Ashleigh Summer proved to be the male heir-at-law. During the minority of this fortunate youth, Mrs. Ashleigh had rented Kirby Hall of his guardian. He is now just coming of age, and that is why she leaves. Lilian Ashleigh will have, however, a very good fortune,—is what we genteel paupers call an heiress. Is there anything more you want to know?”
“No. Kirby Hall went to Ashleigh Sumner, the male heir, a cousin. And the luckiest of cousins! Gilbert’s sister, a flashy woman (actually all flash), managed to marry her relative, Sir Walter Ashleigh Haughton, the head of the Ashleigh family—just the kind of man suited to complement a flashy woman! He passed away years ago, leaving behind an only son, Sir James, who died last winter from a fall off his horse. And here, once again, Ashleigh Sumner turned out to be the male heir-at-law. During this fortunate young man’s minority, Mrs. Ashleigh rented Kirby Hall from his guardian. He is now just coming of age, and that’s why she’s moving out. Lilian Ashleigh will have a very good fortune—what we genteel paupers refer to as an heiress. Is there anything else you’d like to know?”
Said thin Miss Brabazon, who took advantage of her thinness to wedge herself into every one’s affairs, “A most interesting account. What a nice place Abbots’ House could be made with a little taste! So aristocratic! Just what I should like if I could afford it! The drawing-room should be done up in the Moorish style, with geranium-coloured silk curtains, like dear Lady L——‘s boudoir at Twickenham. And Mrs. Ashleigh has taken the house on lease too, I suppose!” Here Miss Brabazon fluttered her fan angrily, and then exclaimed, “But what on earth brings Mrs. Ashleigh here?”
Said the skinny Miss Brabazon, who used her slimness to insert herself into everyone’s business, “What a fascinating story. Abbots’ House could be such a lovely place with a bit of style! So classy! Exactly what I’d love if I could afford it! The living room should be redecorated in the Moorish style, with geranium-colored silk curtains, like dear Lady L——’s boudoir at Twickenham. And I assume Mrs. Ashleigh has leased the house too!” At this, Miss Brabazon angrily fluttered her fan and then exclaimed, “But what on earth is bringing Mrs. Ashleigh here?”
Answered Mrs. Colonel Poyntz, with the military frankness by which she kept her company in good humour, as well as awe,—
Answered Mrs. Colonel Poyntz, with the straightforwardness that kept her company both entertained and a little intimidated,—
“Why do any of us come here? Can any one tell me?”
“Why do any of us come here? Can anyone tell me?”
There was a blank silence, which the hostess herself was the first to break.
There was a heavy silence, and the hostess was the first to break it.
“None of us present can say why we came here. I can tell you why Mrs. Ashleigh came. Our neighbour, Mr. Vigors, is a distant connection of the late Gilbert Ashleigh, one of the executors to his will, and the guardian to the heir-at-law. About ten days ago Mr. Vigors called on me, for the first time since I felt it my duty to express my disapprobation of the strange vagaries so unhappily conceived by our poor dear friend Dr. Lloyd. And when he had taken his chair, just where you now sit, Dr. Fenwick, he said in a sepulchral voice, stretching out two fingers, so,—as if I were one of the what-do-you-call-’ems who go to sleep when he bids them, ‘Marm, you know Mrs. Ashleigh? You correspond with her?’ ‘Yes, Mr. Vigors; is there any crime in that? You look as if there were.’ ‘No crime, marm,’ said the man, quite seriously. ‘Mrs. Ashleigh is a lady of amiable temper, and you are a woman of masculine understanding.’”
“None of us here can explain why we came. I can tell you why Mrs. Ashleigh came. Our neighbor, Mr. Vigors, is a distant relative of the late Gilbert Ashleigh, one of the executors of his will, and the guardian to the heir. About ten days ago, Mr. Vigors visited me for the first time since I felt it was necessary to express my disapproval of the strange ideas unfortunately held by our poor friend, Dr. Lloyd. And when he sat down in the chair you’re now occupying, Dr. Fenwick, he said in a grave tone, extending two fingers as if I were one of those hypnotized individuals who fall asleep at his command, ‘Madam, you know Mrs. Ashleigh? You correspond with her?’ ‘Yes, Mr. Vigors; is that a problem? You look as if it might be.’ ‘No problem, madam,’ he replied quite seriously. ‘Mrs. Ashleigh is a kind lady, and you are a woman of strong intellect.’”
Here there was a general titter. Mrs. Colonel Poyntz hushed it with a look of severe surprise. “What is there to laugh at? All women would be men if they could. If my understanding is masculine, so much the better for me. I thanked Mr. Vigors for his very handsome compliment, and he then went on to say that though Mrs. Ashleigh would now have to leave Kirby Hall in a very few weeks, she seemed quite unable to make up her mind where to go; that it had occurred to him that, as Miss Ashleigh was of an age to see a little of the world, she ought not to remain buried in the country; while, being of quiet mind, she recoiled from the dissipation of London. Between the seclusion of the one and the turmoil of the other, the society of L—— was a happy medium. He should be glad of my opinion. He had put off asking for it, because he owned his belief that I had behaved unkindly to his lamented friend, Dr. Lloyd; but he now found himself in rather an awkward position. His ward, young Sumner, had prudently resolved on fixing his country residence at Kirby Hall, rather than at Haughton Park, the much larger seat which had so suddenly passed to his inheritance, and which he could not occupy without a vast establishment, that to a single man, so young, would be but a cumbersome and costly trouble. Mr. Vigors was pledged to his ward to obtain him possession of Kirby Hall, the precise day agreed upon, but Mrs. Ashleigh did not seem disposed to stir,—could not decide where else to go. Mr. Vigors was loth to press hard on his old friend’s widow and child. It was a thousand pities Mrs Ashleigh could not make up her mind; she had had ample time for preparation. A word from me at this moment would be an effective kindness. Abbots’ House was vacant, with a garden so extensive that the ladies would not miss the country. Another party was after it, but—‘Say no more,’ I cried; ‘no party but my dear old friend Anne Ashleigh shall have Abbots’ House. So that question is settled.’ I dismissed Mr. Vigors, sent for my carriage, that is, for Mr. Barker’s yellow fly and his best horses,—and drove that very day to Kirby Hall, which, though not in this county, is only twenty-five miles distant. I slept there that night. By nine o’clock the next morning I had secured Mrs. Ashleigh’s consent, on the promise to save her all trouble; came back, sent for the landlord, settled the rent, lease, agreement; engaged Forbes’ vans to remove the furniture from Kirby Hall; told Forbes to begin with the beds. When her own bed came, which was last night, Anne Ashleigh came too. I have seen her this morning. She likes the place, so does Lilian. I asked them to meet you all here to-night; but Mrs. Ashleigh was tired. The last of the furniture was to arrive today; and though dear Mrs. Ashleigh is an undecided character, she is not inactive. But it is not only the planning where to put tables and chairs that would have tried her today: she has had Mr. Vigors on her hands all the afternoon, and he has been—here’s her little note—what are the words? No doubt ‘most overpowering and oppressive;’ no, ‘most kind and attentive,’—different words, but, as applied to Mr. Vigors, they mean the same thing.
Here, everyone chuckled. Mrs. Colonel Poyntz silenced them with a look of stern surprise. “What’s so funny? Every woman would be a man if she could. If my thinking is masculine, then good for me. I thanked Mr. Vigors for his very nice compliment, and he went on to say that although Mrs. Ashleigh would have to leave Kirby Hall in just a few weeks, she seemed quite unsure about where to go; he thought that since Miss Ashleigh was at an age to experience a bit of the world, she shouldn’t stay isolated in the countryside; but, being more reserved, she was hesitant about the chaos of London. Between the quietness of one and the chaos of the other, the society of L—— was a happy middle ground. He would appreciate my opinion. He had delayed asking for it because he believed I had been unkind to his dear friend, Dr. Lloyd; but he now found himself in a bit of an awkward situation. His ward, young Sumner, had wisely chosen to set his country residence at Kirby Hall instead of Haughton Park, the much larger estate that had suddenly come into his ownership, which he couldn’t use without a large staff, a burden and an expensive hassle for such a young single man. Mr. Vigors had promised his ward to secure possession of Kirby Hall on the agreed-upon day, but Mrs. Ashleigh didn’t seem ready to move—she couldn’t decide where else to go. Mr. Vigors was reluctant to press his old friend’s widow and child too hard. It was a shame Mrs. Ashleigh couldn't make a decision; she had plenty of time to prepare. A word from me right now would be a great kindness. Abbots’ House was available, with such a large garden that the ladies wouldn’t miss the countryside. Another group wanted it, but—‘Say no more,’ I said; ‘no one but my dear old friend Anne Ashleigh shall have Abbots’ House. That question is settled.’ I sent Mr. Vigors away, called for my carriage, that is, for Mr. Barker’s yellow fly and his best horses,—and drove that very day to Kirby Hall, which, although not in this county, is only twenty-five miles away. I spent the night there. By nine o’clock the next morning, I had secured Mrs. Ashleigh’s agreement, on the condition that I would handle everything for her; I returned, called for the landlord, finalized the rent, lease, agreement; hired Forbes’ vans to move the furniture from Kirby Hall; instructed Forbes to start with the beds. When her own bed arrived, which was last night, Anne Ashleigh came too. I saw her this morning. She likes the place, and so does Lilian. I invited them to join you all here tonight; but Mrs. Ashleigh was tired. The last of the furniture was due to arrive today; and although dear Mrs. Ashleigh is indecisive, she is not inactive. But it’s not just figuring out where to put tables and chairs that would have worn her out today: she has been dealing with Mr. Vigors all afternoon, and he has been—here’s her little note—what are the words? No doubt ‘most overwhelming and oppressive;’ no, ‘most kind and attentive,’—different words, but, when it comes to Mr. Vigors, they mean the same thing.
“And now, next Monday—-we must leave them in peace till then—you will all call on the Ashleighs. The Hill knows what is due to itself; it cannot delegate to Mr. Vigors, a respectable man indeed, but who does not belong to its set, its own proper course of action towards those who would shelter themselves on its bosom. The Hill cannot be kind and attentive, overpowering or oppressive by proxy. To those newborn into its family circle it cannot be an indifferent godmother; it has towards them all the feelings of a mother,—or of a stepmother, as the case may be. Where it says ‘This can be no child of mine,’ it is a stepmother indeed; but in all those whom I have presented to its arms, it has hitherto, I am proud to say, recognized desirable acquaintances, and to them the Hill has been a mother. And now, my dear Mr. Sloman, go to your rubber; Poyntz is impatient, though he don’t show it. Miss Brabazon, love, we all long to see you seated at the piano,—you play so divinely! Something gay, if you please; something gay, but not very noisy,—Mr. Leopold Symthe will turn the leaves for you. Mrs. Bruce, your own favourite set at vingt-un, with four new recruits. Dr. Fenwick, you are like me, don’t play cards, and don’t care for music; sit here, and talk or not, as you please, while I knit.”
“And now, next Monday—we need to leave them in peace until then—you all will visit the Ashleighs. The Hill knows what it deserves; it can't delegate its proper dealings with those who seek to be part of it to Mr. Vigors, a respectable man for sure, but not part of its circle. The Hill can't be kind and attentive, or overpowering and oppressive, through someone else. To those newly welcomed into its family, it can't be an indifferent godmother; it has all the feelings of a mother for them—or a stepmother, depending on the situation. Where it says, ‘This cannot be my child,’ it is indeed a stepmother; but to all those I’ve introduced to it, it has so far recognized them as desirable acquaintances, and to them, the Hill has been a mother. And now, my dear Mr. Sloman, go enjoy your rubber; Poyntz is waiting, even if he doesn't show it. Miss Brabazon, dear, we all can’t wait to see you at the piano—you play so beautifully! Something cheerful, if you would; something light, but not too loud—Mr. Leopold Symthe will turn the pages for you. Mrs. Bruce, your favorite group for vingt-un, with four new players. Dr. Fenwick, like me, you don’t play cards and aren't into music; just sit here and chat or not, as you like, while I knit.”
The other guests thus disposed of, some at the card-tables, some round the piano, I placed myself at Mrs. Poyntz’s side, on a seat niched in the recess of a window which an evening unusually warm for the month of May permitted to be left open. I was next to one who had known Lilian as a child, one from whom I had learned by what sweet name to call the image which my thoughts had already shrined. How much that I still longed to know she could tell me! But in what form of question could I lead to the subject, yet not betray my absorbing interest in it? Longing to speak, I felt as if stricken dumb; stealing an unquiet glance towards the face beside me, and deeply impressed with that truth which the Hill had long ago reverently acknowledged,—namely, that Mrs. Colonel Poyntz was a very superior woman, a very powerful creature.
The other guests having settled in, some at the card tables and others gathered around the piano, I took a seat next to Mrs. Poyntz, in a nook by a window that the unusually warm May evening allowed to be open. I was beside someone who had known Lilian as a child, from whom I had learned the sweet name to call the image my thoughts had already cherished. How much I still wanted to know from her! But how could I ask without revealing my intense interest? Desperate to speak, I felt completely tongue-tied; stealing a quick look at the face next to me, I was struck by the truth that the Hill had long ago acknowledged—that Mrs. Colonel Poyntz was a remarkable woman, a very strong presence.
And there she sat knitting, rapidly, firmly; a woman somewhat on the other side of forty, complexion a bronze paleness, hair a bronze brown, in strong ringlets cropped short behind,—handsome hair for a man; lips that, when closed, showed inflexible decision, when speaking, became supple and flexible with an easy humour and a vigilant finesse; eyes of a red hazel, quick but steady,—observing, piercing, dauntless eyes; altogether a fine countenance,—would have been a very fine countenance in a man; profile sharp, straight, clear-cut, with an expression, when in repose, like that of a sphinx; a frame robust, not corpulent; of middle height, but with an air and carriage that made her appear tall; peculiarly white firm hands, indicative of vigorous health, not a vein visible on the surface.
And there she sat knitting quickly and firmly; a woman somewhat over forty, with a bronze-pale complexion and bronze-brown hair styled in strong, short ringlets—handsome hair for a man. Her lips, when closed, reflected a strong sense of determination, but when she spoke, they became soft and flexible, marked by a light humor and keen awareness. Her red hazel eyes were quick yet steady—observant, penetrating, and fearless; altogether, she had a striking face that would have been very attractive on a man. Her profile was sharp, straight, and well-defined, with a resting expression reminiscent of a sphinx; her build was robust, not overweight; she was of average height, but her posture and presence made her seem taller. Her uniquely white, strong hands showed signs of good health, with no visible veins on the surface.
There she sat knitting, knitting, and I by her side, gazing now on herself, now on her work, with a vague idea that the threads in the skein of my own web of love or of life were passing quick through those noiseless fingers. And, indeed, in every web of romance, the fondest, one of the Parcae is sure to be some matter-of-fact She, Social Destiny, as little akin to romance herself as was this worldly Queen of the Hill.
There she sat knitting, knitting, and I beside her, looking at her and then at her work, with a faint sense that the threads in the skein of my own web of love or life were quickly flowing through those silent fingers. And, really, in every romantic story, there’s always a practical woman, Social Destiny, who is as little related to romance as this worldly Queen of the Hill.
CHAPTER VII.
I have given a sketch of the outward woman of Mrs. Colonel Poyntz. The inner woman was a recondite mystery deep as that of the sphinx, whose features her own resembled. But between the outward and the inward woman there is ever a third woman,—the conventional woman,—such as the whole human being appears to the world,—always mantled, sometimes masked.
I have provided an outline of Mrs. Colonel Poyntz's external self. The inner self was a deep mystery, as enigmatic as the sphinx, whose features she closely resembled. However, between the outward and inward selves, there is always a third persona—the conventional woman—how the whole person appears to the world—always covered up, sometimes hidden.
I am told that the fine people of London do not recognize the title of “Mrs. Colonel.” If that be true, the fine people of London must be clearly in the wrong, for no people in the universe could be finer than the fine people of Abbey Hill; and they considered their sovereign had as good a right to the title of Mrs. Colonel as the Queen of England has to that of “our Gracious Lady.” But Mrs. Poyntz herself never assumed the title of Mrs. Colonel; it never appeared on her cards,—any more than the title of “Gracious Lady” appears on the cards which convey the invitation that a Lord Steward or Lord Chamberlain is commanded by her Majesty to issue. To titles, indeed, Mrs. Poyntz evinced no superstitious reverence. Two peeresses, related to her, not distantly, were in the habit of paying her a yearly visit which lasted two or three days. The Hill considered these visits an honour to its eminence. Mrs. Poyntz never seemed to esteem them an honour to herself; never boasted of them; never sought to show off her grand relations, nor put herself the least out of the way to receive them. Her mode of life was free from ostentation. She had the advantage of being a few hundreds a year richer than any other inhabitant of the Hill; but she did not devote her superior resources to the invidious exhibition of superior splendour. Like a wise sovereign, the revenues of her exchequer were applied to the benefit of her subjects, and not to the vanity of egotistical parade. As no one else on the Hill kept a carriage, she declined to keep one. Her entertainments were simple, but numerous. Twice a week she received the Hill, and was genuinely at home to it. She contrived to make her parties proverbially agreeable. The refreshments were of the same kind as those which the poorest of her old maids of honour might proffer; but they were better of their kind, the best of their kind,—the best tea, the best lemonade, the best cakes. Her rooms had an air of comfort, which was peculiar to them. They looked like rooms accustomed to receive, and receive in a friendly way; well warmed, well lighted, card-tables and piano each in the place that made cards and music inviting; on the walls a few old family portraits, and three or four other pictures said to be valuable and certainly pleasing,—two Watteaus, a Canaletti, a Weenix; plenty of easy-chairs and settees covered with a cheerful chintz,—in the arrangement of the furniture generally an indescribable careless elegance. She herself was studiously plain in dress, more conspicuously free from jewelry and trinkets than any married lady on the Hill. But I have heard from those who were authorities on such a subject that she was never seen in a dress of the last year’s fashion. She adopted the mode as it came out, just enough to show that she was aware it was out; but with a sober reserve, as much as to say, “I adopt the fashion as far as it suits myself; I do not permit the fashion to adopt me.” In short, Mrs. Colonel Poyntz was sometimes rough, sometimes coarse, always masculine, and yet somehow or other masculine in a womanly way; but she was never vulgar because never affected. It was impossible not to allow that she was a thorough gentlewoman, and she could do things that lower other gentlewomen, without any loss of dignity. Thus she was an admirable mimic, certainly in itself the least ladylike condescension of humour. But when she mimicked, it was with so tranquil a gravity, or so royal a good humour, that one could only say, “What talents for society dear Mrs. Colonel has!” As she was a gentlewoman emphatically, so the other colonel, the he-colonel, was emphatically a gentleman; rather shy, but not cold; hating trouble of every kind, pleased to seem a cipher in his own house. If the sole study of Mrs. Colonel had been to make her husband comfortable, she could not have succeeded better than by bringing friends about him and then taking them off his hands. Colonel Poyntz, the he-colonel, had seen, in his youth, actual service; but had retired from his profession many years ago, shortly after his marriage. He was a younger brother of one of the principal squires in the country; inherited the house he lived in, with some other valuable property in and about L——, from an uncle; was considered a good landlord; and popular in Low Town, though he never interfered in its affairs. He was punctiliously neat in his dress; a thin youthful figure, crowned with a thick youthful wig. He never seemed to read anything but the newspapers and the “Meteorological Journal:” was supposed to be the most weatherwise man in all L——. He had another intellectual predilection,—whist; but in that he had less reputation for wisdom. Perhaps it requires a rarer combination of mental faculties to win an odd trick than to divine a fall in the glass. For the rest, the he-colonel, many years older than his wife, despite the thin youthful figure, was an admirable aid-de-camp to the general in command, Mrs. Colonel; and she could not have found one more obedient, more devoted, or more proud of a distinguished chief.
I'm told that the fine people of London don't acknowledge the title of “Mrs. Colonel.” If that's true, then the fine people of London must be seriously mistaken, because no one in the universe could be finer than the wonderful folks of Abbey Hill; they believed their leader had just as much right to the title of Mrs. Colonel as the Queen of England has to “our Gracious Lady.” However, Mrs. Poyntz never actually used the title of Mrs. Colonel; it didn’t appear on her invitations—just like the title “Gracious Lady” doesn’t appear on the invitations that a Lord Steward or Lord Chamberlain is ordered by her Majesty to send out. Mrs. Poyntz showed no superstitious reverence for titles. Two peeresses, who were not very distantly related to her, usually paid her a yearly visit that lasted two or three days. The Hill regarded these visits as an honor to its prominence. Mrs. Poyntz didn’t seem to see them as an honor for herself; she never bragged about them, and she didn’t go out of her way to impress her esteemed relatives. Her lifestyle was free from showiness. She had the advantage of being a few hundred pounds a year richer than anyone else living on the Hill, but she didn’t use her extra money to display superior luxury. Like a wise leader, she used her resources to benefit her community rather than for ostentatious self-promotion. Since nobody else on the Hill owned a carriage, she chose not to have one either. Her gatherings were simple but frequent. She hosted guests from the Hill twice a week and was genuinely welcoming to them. She managed to make her parties famously enjoyable. The refreshments were the same kind that the poorest of her old maids of honor might offer, but they were the best of their kind—the best tea, the best lemonade, the best cakes. Her rooms had a unique, comforting atmosphere. They felt like rooms designed for receiving guests in a friendly manner; warm and well-lit, with card tables and a piano arranged to encourage cards and music; on the walls hung a few old family portraits and three or four other paintings said to be valuable and certainly attractive—two Watteaus, a Canaletti, a Weenix; plenty of easy chairs and settees covered in cheerful chintz—furniture arranged with an indescribable, effortless elegance. She herself dressed very simply, noticeably lacking jewelry and trinkets compared to other married women on the Hill. However, I’ve heard from those in the know that she was never seen in last year's fashion. She adopted new styles just enough to show that she was aware of them, but with a modest restraint, as if to say, “I wear the fashion as it suits me; I don’t let the fashion dictate who I am.” In short, Mrs. Colonel Poyntz was sometimes rough, sometimes blunt, always strong-willed, yet somehow that strength felt womanly; she was never vulgar because she was never pretentious. It was impossible not to recognize that she was a true gentlewoman, capable of doing things that could undermine other gentlewomen without losing her dignity. For instance, she was an excellent mimic, which might not seem like the most ladylike form of humor. But when she mimicked others, it was done with such calm seriousness or royal good humor that one could only say, “What talents for social interaction dear Mrs. Colonel has!” Just as Mrs. Colonel was emphatically a gentlewoman, the other colonel, the he-colonel, was clearly a gentleman; somewhat shy, but not unfriendly; disliking any kind of fuss and happy to blend into the background in his own home. If Mrs. Colonel's only goal had been to make her husband comfortable, she couldn’t have done a better job than by bringing friends around him and then gracefully taking them off his hands. Colonel Poyntz, the he-colonel, had seen actual military action in his youth, but he had retired from his career many years ago, shortly after getting married. He was the younger brother of one of the main squires in the area; he inherited the house he lived in, along with some other valuable properties in and around L——, from an uncle; he was known as a good landlord and was popular in Low Town, even though he never got involved in its politics. He was always impeccably neat in his attire; a tall, slender figure topped with a thick, youthful wig. He never seemed to read anything except newspapers and the “Meteorological Journal,” and was thought to be the most knowledgeable about the weather in all of L——. He had another intellectual interest—whist—but he wasn’t particularly renowned for his skill in that game. Perhaps it requires a more unusual combination of mental abilities to win at whist than to predict a drop in barometric pressure. On the whole, the he-colonel, many years older than his wife, despite his thin youthful appearance, was an admirable right-hand man to the commanding officer, Mrs. Colonel; and she couldn’t have found anyone more obedient, more devoted, or more proud to serve such an distinguished leader.
In giving to Mrs. Colonel Poyntz the appellation of Queen of the Hill, let there be no mistake. She was not a constitutional sovereign; her monarchy was absolute. All her proclamations had the force of laws.
In calling Mrs. Colonel Poyntz the Queen of the Hill, make no mistake. She wasn't a constitutional ruler; her reign was absolute. All her declarations had the power of law.
Such ascendancy could not have been attained without considerable talents for acquiring and keeping it. Amidst all her off-hand, brisk, imperious frankness, she had the ineffable discrimination of tact. Whether civil or rude, she was never civil or rude but what she carried public opinion along with her. Her knowledge of general society must have been limited, as must be that of all female sovereigns; but she seemed gifted with an intuitive knowledge of human nature, which she applied to her special ambition of ruling it. I have not a doubt that if she had been suddenly transferred, a perfect stranger, to the world of London, she would have soon forced her way to its selectest circles, and, when once there, held her own against a duchess.
Such a rise couldn't have happened without significant skills to gain and maintain it. Despite her casual, lively, and assertive straightforwardness, she had an incredible sense of tact. Whether she was polite or abrasive, she never acted without considering how public opinion would align with her. Her understanding of general society must have been limited, like that of all female rulers, but she seemed to possess an instinctive grasp of human nature, which she used to fulfill her ambition of ruling it. I have no doubt that if she had suddenly found herself, a total stranger, in the world of London, she would have quickly made her way into its most exclusive circles and, once there, held her own against a duchess.
I have said that she was not affected: this might be one cause of her sway over a set in which nearly every other woman was trying rather to seem, than to be, a somebody.
I said she wasn’t influenced by it: this could be one reason for her influence over a group where almost every other woman was more focused on appearing to be someone important than actually being one.
But if Mrs. Colonel Poyntz was not artificial, she was artful, or perhaps I might more justly say artistic. In all she said and did there were conduct, system, plan. She could be a most serviceable friend, a most damaging enemy; yet I believe she seldom indulged in strong likings or strong hatreds. All was policy,—a policy akin to that of a grand party chief, determined to raise up those whom, for any reason of state, it was prudent to favour, and to put down those whom, for any reason of state, it was expedient to humble or to crush.
But if Mrs. Colonel Poyntz wasn't fake, she was clever, or maybe I should say artistic. Everything she said and did was calculated and systematic. She could be a very helpful friend or a very harmful enemy; however, I believe she rarely had intense likes or dislikes. Everything was strategic—a strategy similar to that of a high-ranking political leader, focused on promoting those who should be supported for political reasons and putting down those who should be diminished or defeated for the same reasons.
Ever since the controversy with Dr. Lloyd, this lady had honoured me with her benignest countenance; and nothing could be more adroit than the manner in which, while imposing me on others as an oracular authority, she sought to subject to her will the oracle itself.
Ever since the disagreement with Dr. Lloyd, this woman has treated me with her kindest demeanor; and nothing could be more skillful than the way she, while presenting me to others as a wise authority, tried to control the authority itself.
She was in the habit of addressing me in a sort of motherly way, as if she had the deepest interest in my welfare, happiness, and reputation. And thus, in every compliment, in every seeming mark of respect, she maintained the superior dignity of one who takes from responsible station the duty to encourage rising merit; so that, somehow or other, despite all that pride which made me believe that I needed no helping hand to advance or to clear my way through the world, I could not shake off from my mind the impression that I was mysteriously patronized by Mrs. Colonel Poyntz.
She would often talk to me in a motherly way, as if she genuinely cared about my well-being, happiness, and reputation. In every compliment and in every gesture that seemed respectful, she upheld a certain superiority, as if it was her duty to support someone with potential. So, even with all my pride that made me think I didn’t need anyone’s help to succeed or navigate life, I couldn’t help but feel that Mrs. Colonel Poyntz was somehow looking out for me from above.
We might have sat together five minutes, side by side in silence as complete as if in the cave of Trophonius—when without looking up from her work, Mrs. Poyntz said abruptly,—
We might have sat together for five minutes, side by side in silence as complete as if we were in the cave of Trophonius—when without looking up from her work, Mrs. Poyntz said abruptly,—
“I am thinking about you, Dr. Fenwick. And you—are thinking about some other woman. Ungrateful man!”
“I’m thinking about you, Dr. Fenwick. And you—are thinking about some other woman. Ungrateful man!”
“Unjust accusation! My very silence should prove how intently my thoughts were fixed on you, and on the weird web which springs under your hand in meshes that bewilder the gaze and snare the attention.”
“Unjust accusation! My silence alone should show how deeply I was focused on you and the strange web that forms under your hand, creating patterns that confuse the eye and capture attention.”
Mrs. Poyntz looked up at me for a moment—one rapid glance of the bright red hazel eye—and said,—
Mrs. Poyntz looked up at me for a moment—one quick glance from her bright red hazel eye—and said,—
“Was I really in your thoughts? Answer truly.”
“Was I really on your mind? Please answer honestly.”
“Truly, I answer, you were.”
"Honestly, I say you were."
“That is strange! Who can it be?”
"That's odd! Who could it be?"
“Who can it be? What do you mean?”
“Who could it be? What do you mean?”
“If you were thinking of me, it was in connection with some other person,—some other person of my own sex. It is certainly not poor dear Miss Brabazon. Who else can it be?”
“If you were thinking of me, it was because of someone else—someone of my own gender. It definitely isn't poor dear Miss Brabazon. Who else could it be?”
Again the red eye shot over me, and I felt my cheek redden beneath it.
Again, the red eye shot over me, and I felt my cheek flush under it.
“Hush!” she said, lowering her voice; “you are in love!”
“Hush!” she said, lowering her voice. “You’re in love!”
“In love!—I! Permit me to ask you why you think so?”
“In love!—Me! Can I ask why you think that?”
“The signs are unmistakable; you are altered in your manner, even in the expression of your face, since I last saw you; your manner is generally quiet and observant,—it is now restless and distracted; your expression of face is generally proud and serene,—it is now humbled and troubled. You have something on your mind! It is not anxiety for your reputation,—that is established; nor for your fortune,—that is made; it is not anxiety for a patient or you would scarcely be here. But anxiety it is,—an anxiety that is remote from your profession, that touches your heart and is new to it!”
“The signs are clear; you've changed in the way you behave and even in how you look since I last saw you. You used to be calm and observant, but now you're restless and distracted. Your face used to show pride and peace, but now it looks humble and troubled. Something is weighing on your mind! It's not worry about your reputation—that's solid; nor is it about your finances—that's secure; and if it were about a patient, you wouldn't be here. But it is worry—a worry that has nothing to do with your job, something that affects your heart and is new to you!”
I was startled, almost awed; but I tried to cover my confusion with a forced laugh.
I was taken aback, almost amazed; but I tried to mask my confusion with a forced laugh.
“Profound observer! Subtle analyst! You have convinced me that I must be in love, though I did not suspect it before. But when I strive to conjecture the object, I am as much perplexed as yourself; and with you, I ask, who can it be?”
“Deep thinker! Insightful analyst! You’ve made me realize that I must be in love, even though I didn’t see it before. But when I try to figure out who it is, I'm just as confused as you are; and like you, I ask, who could it be?”
“Whoever it be,” said Mrs. Poyntz, who had paused, while I spoke, from her knitting, and now resumed it very slowly and very carefully, as if her mind and her knitting worked in unison together,—“whoever it be, love in you would be serious; and, with or without love, marriage is a serious thing to us all. It is not every pretty girl that would suit Allen Fenwick.”
“Whoever it is,” said Mrs. Poyntz, who had paused her knitting while I spoke and now continued it very slowly and carefully, as if her thoughts and her knitting were in sync, “whoever it is, love in you would be deep; and whether or not there’s love, marriage is a serious matter for all of us. Not every pretty girl would be a good match for Allen Fenwick.”
“Alas! is there any pretty girl whom Allen Fenwick would suit?”
“Unfortunately! Is there any attractive girl who would be a good match for Allen Fenwick?”
“Tut! You should be above the fretful vanity that lays traps for a compliment. Yes; the time has come in your life and your career when you would do well to marry. I give my consent to that,” she added with a smile as if in jest, and a slight nod as if in earnest. The knitting here went on more decidedly, more quickly. “But I do not yet see the person. No! ‘T is a pity, Allen Fenwick” (whenever Mrs. Poyntz called me by my Christian name, she always assumed her majestic motherly manner),—“a pity that, with your birth, energies, perseverance, talents, and, let me add, your advantages of manner and person,—a pity that you did not choose a career that might achieve higher fortunes and louder fame than the most brilliant success can give to a provincial physician. But in that very choice you interest me. My choice has been much the same,—a small circle, but the first in it. Yet, had I been a man, or had my dear Colonel been a man whom it was in the power of a woman’s art to raise one step higher in that metaphorical ladder which is not the ladder of the angels, why, then—what then? No matter! I am contented. I transfer my ambition to Jane. Do you not think her handsome?”
“Tut! You should rise above the worrying pride that seeks out compliments. Yes; the time has come in your life and career when marrying would be a good idea. I give my blessing to that,” she added with a smile as if joking, and a slight nod as if serious. The knitting continued here with more focus and speed. “But I still don’t see the right person. No! It’s a shame, Allen Fenwick” (whenever Mrs. Poyntz used my first name, she always adopted her grand motherly tone),—“a shame that, with your background, energy, determination, talent, and, let me add, your charm and looks,—it's a shame you didn’t choose a career that could bring you greater success and more fame than what even the most impressive achievements can offer a country doctor. But in that very choice, you pique my interest. My choice has been quite similar—a small circle, but at the top. Still, if I had been a man, or if my dear Colonel had been someone a woman could help climb one step higher on that metaphorical ladder which isn’t the ladder of angels, what then? No matter! I’m content. I’m putting my ambitions into Jane. Don’t you think she’s beautiful?”
“There can be no doubt of that,” said I, carelessly and naturally.
“There’s no doubt about that,” I said, casually and naturally.
“I have settled Jane’s lot in my own mind,” resumed Mrs. Poyntz, striking firm into another row of knitting. “She will marry a country gentleman of large estate. He will go into parliament. She will study his advancement as I study Poyntz’s comfort. If he be clever, she will help to make him a minister; if he be not clever, his wealth will make her a personage, and lift him into a personage’s husband. And, now that you see I have no matrimonial designs on you, Allen Fenwick, think if it will be worth while to confide in me. Possibly I may be useful—”
“I’ve figured out Jane’s future in my head,” Mrs. Poyntz continued, firmly resuming her knitting. “She’ll marry a wealthy country gentleman. He’ll go into politics. She’ll keep an eye on his career just like I keep track of Poyntz’s well-being. If he’s smart, she’ll help him become a minister; if he’s not, his money will make her important and raise him to the status of a prominent husband. And now that you know I have no romantic intentions towards you, Allen Fenwick, think about whether it’s worth it to share your thoughts with me. I might be able to help—”
“I know not how to thank you; but, as yet, I have nothing to confide.”
“I don’t know how to thank you; but for now, I have nothing to share.”
While thus saying, I turned my eyes towards the open window beside which I sat. It was a beautiful soft night, the May moon in all her splendour. The town stretched, far and wide, below with all its numberless lights,—below, but somewhat distant; an intervening space was covered, here, by the broad quadrangle (in the midst of which stood, massive and lonely, the grand old church), and, there, by the gardens and scattered cottages or mansions that clothed the sides of the hill.
While saying this, I turned my eyes to the open window next to me. It was a beautiful, gentle night, with the May moon shining brightly. The town spread out below, filled with countless lights—below, but somewhat far away; an intervening space was covered, here, by the wide square (in the middle of which stood, big and solitary, the grand old church), and, there, by the gardens and scattered cottages or large houses that lined the hillsides.
“Is not that house,” I said, after a short pause, “yonder with the three gables, the one in which—in which poor Dr. Lloyd lived—Abbots’ House?”
“Isn’t that house,” I said, after a brief pause, “over there with the three gables, the one where—where poor Dr. Lloyd lived—Abbots’ House?”
I spoke abruptly, as if to intimate my desire to change the subject of conversation. My hostess stopped her knitting, half rose, looked forth.
I spoke abruptly, as if to hint that I wanted to change the subject of the conversation. My hostess paused her knitting, half stood up, and looked outside.
“Yes. But what a lovely night! How is it that the moon blends into harmony things of which the sun only marks the contrast? That stately old church tower, gray with its thousand years, those vulgar tile-roofs and chimney-pots raw in the freshness of yesterday,—now, under the moonlight, all melt into one indivisible charm!”
“Yes. But what a beautiful night! How is it that the moon brings everything together in harmony while the sun only highlights the differences? That grand old church tower, aging with its thousand years, those plain tile roofs and chimney pots still fresh from yesterday’s work—now, under the moonlight, all blend into one seamless charm!”
As my hostess thus spoke, she had left her seat, taking her work with her, and passed from the window into the balcony. It was not often that Mrs. Poyntz condescended to admit what is called “sentiment” into the range of her sharp, practical, worldly talk; but she did so at times,—always, when she did, giving me the notion of an intellect much too comprehensive not to allow that sentiment has a place in this life, but keeping it in its proper place, by that mixture of affability and indifference with which some high-born beauty allows the genius, but checks the presumption, of a charming and penniless poet. For a few minutes her eyes roved over the scene in evident enjoyment; then, as they slowly settled upon the three gables of Abbots’ House, her face regained that something of hardness which belonged to its decided character; her fingers again mechanically resumed her knitting, and she said, in her clear, unsoftened, metallic chime of voice, “Can you guess why I took so much trouble to oblige Mr. Vigors and locate Mrs. Ashleigh yonder?”
As my hostess spoke, she stood up, took her work with her, and moved from the window to the balcony. It wasn’t often that Mrs. Poyntz allowed what’s called “sentiment” to creep into her sharp, practical, worldly conversation; but occasionally, she did—always giving me the impression that her intellect was too broad to deny that sentiment has a place in life, while still keeping it in check, much like a noble beauty who appreciates a talented but struggling poet without letting him get too full of himself. For a few minutes, her eyes wandered over the scene in clear enjoyment; then, as they gradually focused on the three gables of Abbots’ House, her face regained that hardness that defined her character. Her fingers automatically picked up her knitting again, and she said, in her clear, unsoftened, metallic voice, “Can you guess why I worked so hard to help Mr. Vigors find Mrs. Ashleigh over there?”
“You favoured us with a full explanation of your reasons.”
“You gave us a complete explanation of your reasons.”
“Some of my reasons; not the main one. People who undertake the task of governing others, as I do, be their rule a kingdom or a hamlet, must adopt a principle of government and adhere to it. The principle that suits best with the Hill is Respect for the Proprieties. We have not much money; entre nous, we have no great rank. Our policy is, then, to set up the Proprieties as an influence which money must court and rank is afraid of. I had learned just before Mr. Vigors called on me that Lady Sarah Bellasis entertained the idea of hiring Abbots’ House. London has set its face against her; a provincial town would be more charitable. An earl’s daughter, with a good income and an awfully bad name, of the best manners and of the worst morals, would have made sad havoc among the Proprieties. How many of our primmest old maids would have deserted tea and Mrs. Poyntz for champagne and her ladyship! The Hill was never in so imminent a danger. Rather than Lady Sarah Bellasis should have had that house, I would have taken it myself, and stocked it with owls.
“Some of my reasons; not the main one. People who take on the responsibility of governing others, like I do, whether it’s a kingdom or a small town, need to establish a principle of governance and stick to it. The principle that works best here is Respect for the Proprieties. We don’t have much money; frankly, we don’t have a high rank either. Our strategy, then, is to make the Proprieties a force that money has to respect and rank is afraid of. I had just learned before Mr. Vigors visited me that Lady Sarah Bellasis was considering renting Abbots’ House. London has turned against her; a provincial town might be more accepting. An earl’s daughter, with a good income and a terrible reputation, possessing excellent manners but questionable morals, could wreak havoc on the Proprieties. How many of our most proper old maids would abandon tea and Mrs. Poyntz for champagne and her ladyship! The Hill has never faced such a serious threat. Rather than let Lady Sarah Bellasis have that house, I would have taken it myself and filled it with owls.”
“Mrs. Ashleigh turned up just in the critical moment. Lady Sarah is foiled, the Proprieties safe, and so that question is settled.”
“Mrs. Ashleigh showed up right at the crucial moment. Lady Sarah is thwarted, the rules are upheld, and so that issue is resolved.”
“And it will be pleasant to have your early friend so near you.”
“And it will be nice to have your old friend so close to you.”
Mrs. Poyntz lifted her eyes full upon me.
Mrs. Poyntz looked directly at me.
“Do you know Mrs. Ashleigh?”
“Do you know Mrs. Ashleigh?”
“Not in the least.”
“Not at all.”
“She has many virtues and few ideas. She is commonplace weak, as I am commonplace strong. But commonplace weak can be very lovable. Her husband, a man of genius and learning, gave her his whole heart,—a heart worth having; but he was not ambitious, and he despised the world.”
“She has many great qualities and only a few thoughts. She is generally weak, while I am generally strong. But a typically weak person can be really endearing. Her husband, a brilliant and knowledgeable man, gave her all his love—a love that is genuinely valuable; however, he wasn’t ambitious and looked down on the world.”
“I think you said your daughter was very much attached to Miss Ashleigh? Does her character resemble her mother’s?”
“I think you mentioned that your daughter is really attached to Miss Ashleigh? Does she have a personality like her mom’s?”
I was afraid while I spoke that I should again meet Mrs. Poyntz’s searching gaze, but she did not this time look up from her work.
I was worried while I spoke that I would again catch Mrs. Poyntz’s intense stare, but she didn’t look up from her work this time.
“No; Lilian is anything but commonplace.”
“No; Lilian is far from ordinary.”
“You described her as having delicate health; you implied a hope that she was not consumptive. I trust that there is no serious reason for apprehending a constitutional tendency which at her age would require the most careful watching!”
“You said she had fragile health; you suggested a hope that she wasn’t dealing with tuberculosis. I hope there’s no serious reason to worry about a health issue that at her age would need very careful monitoring!”
“I trust not. If she were to die—Dr. Fenwick, what is the matter?”
“I don't believe so. If she were to die—Dr. Fenwick, what's wrong?”
So terrible had been the picture which this woman’s words had brought before me, that I started as if my own life had received a shock.
So shocking was the image that this woman's words had created in my mind that I flinched as if my own life had been jolted.
“I beg pardon,” I said falteringly, pressing my hand to my heart; “a sudden spasm here,—it is over now. You were saying that—that—”
“I’m sorry,” I said hesitantly, putting my hand on my heart; “a sudden pain here—it’s gone now. You were saying that—that—”
“I was about to say-” and here Mrs. Poyntz laid her hand lightly on mine,—“I was about to say that if Lilian Ashleigh were to die, I should mourn for her less than I might for one who valued the things of the earth more. But I believe there is no cause for the alarm my words so inconsiderately excited in you. Her mother is watchful and devoted; and if the least thing ailed Lilian, she would call in medical advice. Mr. Vigors would, I know, recommend Dr. Jones.”
“I was just about to say—” and here Mrs. Poyntz gently placed her hand on mine, “I was about to say that if Lilian Ashleigh were to die, I would grieve for her less than I might for someone who appreciates the earthly things more. However, I believe there’s no need for the worry my words may have carelessly caused you. Her mother is attentive and dedicated; if anything were to be wrong with Lilian, she would seek medical help. I know Mr. Vigors would recommend Dr. Jones.”
Closing our conference with those stinging words, Mrs. Poyntz here turned back into the drawing-room.
Closing our conference with those sharp words, Mrs. Poyntz turned back into the living room.
I remained some minutes on the balcony, disconcerted, enraged. With what consummate art had this practised diplomatist wound herself into my secret! That she had read my heart better than myself was evident from that Parthian shaft, barbed with Dr. Jones, which she had shot over her shoulder in retreat. That from the first moment in which she had decoyed me to her side, she had detected “the something” on my mind, was perhaps but the ordinary quickness of female penetration. But it was with no ordinary craft that the whole conversation afterwards had been so shaped as to learn the something, and lead me to reveal the some one to whom the something was linked. For what purpose? What was it to her? What motive could she have beyond the mere gratification of curiosity? Perhaps, at first, she thought I had been caught by her daughter’s showy beauty, and hence the half-friendly, half-cynical frankness with which she had avowed her ambitious projects for that young lady’s matrimonial advancement. Satisfied by my manner that I cherished no presumptuous hopes in that quarter, her scrutiny was doubtless continued from that pleasure in the exercise of a wily intellect which impels schemers and politicians to an activity for which, without that pleasure itself, there would seem no adequate inducement. And besides, the ruling passion of this petty sovereign was power; and if knowledge be power, there is no better instrument of power over a contumacious subject than that hold on his heart which is gained in the knowledge of its secret.
I stayed on the balcony for a few minutes, feeling confused and angry. How expertly had this skilled diplomat embedded herself into my personal matters! It was clear that she understood my feelings better than I did myself, evident from that sharp comment about Dr. Jones that she casually tossed over her shoulder as she left. From the moment she lured me to her side, she must have sensed “something” on my mind, which might just be the usual quick insight women have. But it wasn’t just typical intuition that shaped our entire conversation to discover that something and lead me to reveal the someone connected to it. But why? What did it matter to her? What could her motivation be besides mere curiosity? Perhaps she initially thought I was charmed by her daughter’s flashy beauty, which explained her mixed friendly and cynical honesty about her ambitious plans for the young lady’s marriage. Once she realized I had no unrealistic hopes in that direction, she likely continued her investigation driven by the pleasure that motivates schemers and politicians, pushing them to pursue goals that seem inadequate without that very enjoyment. Besides, her primary desire was power, and if knowledge is power, there's no better way to gain control over a defiant subject than to understand their heart by knowing its secrets.
But “secret”! Had it really come to this? Was it possible that the mere sight of a human face, never beheld before, could disturb the whole tenor of my life,—a stranger of whose mind and character I knew nothing, whose very voice I had never heard? It was only by the intolerable pang of anguish that had rent my heart in the words, carelessly, abruptly spoken, “if she were to die,” that I had felt how the world would be changed to me, if indeed that face were seen in it no more! Yes, secret it was no longer to myself, I loved! And like all on whom love descends, sometimes softly, slowly, with the gradual wing of the cushat settling down into its nest, sometimes with the swoop of the eagle on his unsuspecting quarry, I believed that none ever before loved as I loved; that such love was an abnormal wonder, made solely for me, and I for it. Then my mind insensibly hushed its angrier and more turbulent thoughts, as my gaze rested upon the roof-tops of Lilian’s home, and the shimmering silver of the moonlit willow, under which I had seen her gazing into the roseate heavens.
But "secret"! Had it really come to this? Was it possible that just seeing a human face I had never encountered before could disrupt my entire life—someone whose mind and character I knew nothing of, whose voice I had never heard? It was only from the unbearable pain that had torn at my heart when I heard the casually, abruptly spoken words, “if she were to die,” that I realized how different my world would be if that face were gone. Yes, it was no longer a secret to me; I loved! And like everyone who falls in love, sometimes softly and slowly, like a dove settling into its nest, and other times with the suddenness of an eagle swooping down on its unsuspecting prey, I believed no one had ever loved like I did; that my love was a unique wonder created just for me, and I for it. Then my mind gradually calmed its angrier, more turbulent thoughts as I gazed at the rooftops of Lilian’s home and the shimmering silver of the moonlit willow, under which I had seen her staring up at the rose-colored heavens.
CHAPTER VIII.
When I returned to the drawing-room, the party was evidently about to break up. Those who had grouped round the piano were now assembled round the refreshment-table. The cardplayers had risen, and were settling or discussing gains and losses. While I was searching for my hat, which I had somewhere mislaid, a poor gentleman, tormented by tic-doloureux, crept timidly up to me,—the proudest and the poorest of all the hidalgos settled on the Hill. He could not afford a fee for a physician’s advice; but pain had humbled his pride, and I saw at a glance that he was considering how to take a surreptitious advantage of social intercourse, and obtain the advice without paying the fee. The old man discovered the hat before I did, stooped, took it up, extended it to me with the profound bow of the old school, while the other hand, clenched and quivering, was pressed into the hollow of his cheek, and his eyes met mine with wistful mute entreaty. The instinct of my profession seized me at once. I could never behold suffering without forgetting all else in the desire to relieve it.
When I returned to the living room, it was clear that the party was about to end. Those who had gathered around the piano were now clustered around the snack table. The card players had stood up and were either settling their bets or discussing their wins and losses. While I was looking for my hat, which I had somehow misplaced, a poor man, suffering from severe facial pain, approached me hesitantly—the proudest yet also the poorest of all the local gentlemen. He couldn’t afford to pay a doctor for advice, but his pain had brought his pride down, and I could instantly see that he was trying to figure out how to discreetly gain from our social interaction and get advice without having to pay. The old man found my hat before I did, bent down, picked it up, and handed it to me with a deep bow typical of the older generation. Meanwhile, his other hand, clenched and trembling, was pressed against his cheek, and his eyes regarded mine with a silent, longing plea. The instinct of my profession kicked in immediately. I could never witness suffering without feeling an overwhelming urge to relieve it.
“You are in pain,” said I, softly. “Sit down and describe the symptoms. Here, it is true, I am no professional doctor, but I am a friend who is fond of doctoring, and knows something about it.”
“You're in pain,” I said gently. “Take a seat and tell me what you're feeling. I may not be a professional doctor, but I'm a friend who enjoys helping and knows a bit about it.”
So we sat down a little apart from the other guests, and after a few questions and answers, I was pleased to find that his “tic” did not belong to the less curable kind of that agonizing neuralgia. I was especially successful in my treatment of similar sufferings, for which I had discovered an anodyne that was almost specific. I wrote on a leaf of my pocketbook a prescription which I felt sure would be efficacious, and as I tore it out and placed it in his hand, I chanced to look up, and saw the hazel eyes of my hostess fixed upon me with a kinder and softer expression than they often condescended to admit into their cold and penetrating lustre. At that moment, however, her attention was drawn from me to a servant, who entered with a note, and I heard him say, though in an undertone, “From Mrs. Ashleigh.”
So we sat down a bit away from the other guests, and after a few questions and answers, I was glad to find that his “tic” wasn’t the more difficult type of that painful nerve condition. I had always been quite effective in treating similar issues because I had found a remedy that worked almost perfectly. I wrote a prescription on a page of my pocketbook that I was confident would help, and as I tore it out and handed it to him, I happened to look up and saw my hostess’s hazel eyes on me with a kinder and softer expression than they usually showed in their cold and piercing glow. However, at that moment, her attention shifted from me to a servant who came in with a note, and I heard him say, though quietly, “From Mrs. Ashleigh.”
She opened the note, read it hastily, ordered the servant to wait without the door, retired to her writing-table, which stood near the place at which I still lingered, rested her face on her hand, and seemed musing. Her meditation was very soon over. She turned her head, and to my surprise, beckoned to me. I approached.
She opened the note, read it quickly, told the servant to wait outside the door, went to her writing desk, which was near where I was still hanging around, rested her face on her hand, and seemed deep in thought. Her thinking didn't last long. She turned her head and, to my surprise, signaled for me to come over. I walked over.
“Sit here,” she whispered: “turn your back towards those people, who are no doubt watching us. Read this.”
“Sit here,” she whispered. “Turn your back to those people who are definitely watching us. Read this.”
She placed in my hand the note she had just received. It contained but a few words, to this effect:—
She handed me the note she had just gotten. It only had a few words, saying this:—
DEAR MARGARET,—I am so distressed. Since I wrote to you a few hours ago, Lilian is taken suddenly ill, and I fear seriously. What medical man should I send for? Let my servant have his name and address. A. A.
DEAR MARGARET,—I am really upset. Since I wrote to you a few hours ago, Lilian has suddenly fallen ill, and I’m worried it’s serious. Who should I call for a doctor? Please give my servant his name and address. A. A.
I sprang from my seat.
I jumped up from my seat.
“Stay,” said Mrs. Poyntz. “Would you much care if I sent the servant to Dr. Jones?”
“Wait,” said Mrs. Poyntz. “Would you mind if I sent the servant to Dr. Jones?”
“Ah, madam, you are cruel! What have I done that you should become my enemy?”
“Ah, ma'am, you're so harsh! What have I done to make you my enemy?”
“Enemy! No. You have just befriended one of my friends. In this world of fools intellect should ally itself with intellect. No; I am not your enemy! But you have not yet asked me to be your friend.”
“Enemy! No. You’ve just made friends with one of my friends. In this world of fools, intelligence should team up with intelligence. No; I’m not your enemy! But you haven’t asked me to be your friend yet.”
Here she put into my hands a note she had written while thus speaking. “Receive your credentials. If there be any cause for alarm, or if I can be of use, send for me.” Resuming the work she had suspended, but with lingering, uncertain fingers, she added, “So far, then, this is settled. Nay, no thanks; it is but little that is settled as yet.”
Here she handed me a note she had written while she was talking. “Here are your credentials. If there’s any reason to be worried, or if I can help, call for me.” Picking up the work she had paused, but with hesitant fingers, she added, “So, this is settled for now. No need to thank me; there’s still a lot that isn’t settled yet.”
CHAPTER IX.
In a very few minutes I was once more in the grounds of that old gable house; the servant, who went before me, entered them by the stairs and the wicket-gate of the private entrance; that way was the shortest. So again I passed by the circling glade and the monastic well,—sward, trees, and ruins all suffused in the limpid moonlight.
In just a few minutes, I was back in the grounds of that old gable house. The servant who led the way entered through the stairs and the small gate of the private entrance; it was the quickest route. So I walked by the circular glade and the peaceful well, with the grass, trees, and ruins all bathed in the clear moonlight.
And now I was in the house; the servant took up-stairs the note with which I was charged, and a minute or two afterwards returned and conducted me to the corridor above, in which Mrs. Ashleigh received me. I was the first to speak.
And now I was in the house; the servant took the note I had to deliver upstairs, and a minute or two later came back and led me to the hallway above, where Mrs. Ashleigh welcomed me. I was the first to speak.
“Your daughter—is—is—not seriously ill, I hope. What is it?”
“Your daughter—is—is—not seriously ill, I hope. What is it?”
“Hush!” she said, under her breath. “Will you step this way for a moment?” She passed through a doorway to the right. I followed her, and as she placed on the table the light she had been holding, I looked round with a chill at the heart,—it was the room in which Dr. Lloyd had died. Impossible to mistake. The furniture indeed was changed, there was no bed in the chamber; but the shape of the room, the position of the high casement, which was now wide open, and through which the moonlight streamed more softly than on that drear winter night, the great square beams intersecting the low ceiling,—all were impressed vividly on my memory. The chair to which Mrs. Ashleigh beckoned me was placed just on the spot where I had stood by the bedhead of the dying man.
“Shh!” she whispered. “Could you come this way for a moment?” She walked through a doorway to the right. I followed her, and as she set the light she had been holding on the table, I looked around with a chill in my heart—it was the room where Dr. Lloyd had died. There was no mistaking it. The furniture had changed, and there was no bed in the room; but the shape of the room, the position of the tall window, which was now wide open, and through which the moonlight streamed more softly than on that dreary winter night, the large square beams crossing the low ceiling—all were vividly imprinted in my memory. The chair where Mrs. Ashleigh motioned for me to sit was exactly where I had stood by the head of the bed of the dying man.
I shrank back,—I could not have seated myself there. So I remained leaning against the chimney-piece, while Mrs. Ashleigh told her story.
I pulled back—I couldn’t have sat there. So I stayed leaning against the fireplace while Mrs. Ashleigh told her story.
She said that on their arrival the day before, Lilian had been in more than usually good health and spirits, delighted with the old house, the grounds, and especially the nook by the Monk’s Well, at which Mrs. Ashleigh had left her that evening in order to make some purchases in the town, in company with Mr. Vigors. When Mrs. Ashleigh returned, she and Mr. Vigors had sought Lilian in that nook, and Mrs. Ashleigh then detected, with a mother’s eye, some change in Lilian which alarmed her. She seemed listless and dejected, and was very pale; but she denied that she felt unwell. On regaining the house she had sat down in the room in which we then were,—“which,” said Mrs. Ashleigh, “as it is not required for a sleeping-room, my daughter, who is fond of reading, wished to fit up as her own morning-room, or study. I left her here and went into the drawing-room below with Mr. Vigors. When he quitted me, which he did very soon, I remained for nearly an hour giving directions about the placing of furniture, which had just arrived, from our late residence. I then went up-stairs to join my daughter, and to my terror found her apparently lifeless in her chair. She had fainted away.”
She said that when they arrived the day before, Lilian had been in unusually good health and spirits, thrilled with the old house, the grounds, and especially the spot by the Monk’s Well, where Mrs. Ashleigh had left her that evening to run some errands in town with Mr. Vigors. When Mrs. Ashleigh came back, she and Mr. Vigors went to find Lilian in that spot, and Mrs. Ashleigh then noticed, with a mother’s intuition, some change in Lilian that worried her. She looked listless and downcast, and was very pale; but she insisted that she didn’t feel unwell. After getting back to the house, she sat down in the room we were in—“which,” Mrs. Ashleigh said, “since it’s not needed as a bedroom, my daughter, who loves reading, wanted to turn into her own morning room or study. I left her there and went into the drawing room below with Mr. Vigors. When he left me, which was quite soon, I spent nearly an hour arranging the furniture that had just arrived from our last home. I then went upstairs to join my daughter, and to my horror found her apparently lifeless in her chair. She had fainted.”
I interrupted Mrs. Ashleigh here. “Has Miss Ashleigh been subject to fainting fits?”
I interrupted Mrs. Ashleigh. “Has Miss Ashleigh been experiencing fainting spells?”
“No, never. When she recovered she seemed bewildered, disinclined to speak. I got her to bed, and as she then fell quietly to sleep, my mind was relieved. I thought it only a passing effect of excitement, in a change of abode; or caused by something like malaria in the atmosphere of that part of the grounds in which I had found her seated.”
“No, never. When she came around, she seemed confused and didn’t want to talk. I helped her to bed, and as she settled down and drifted off to sleep, I felt a sense of relief. I figured it was just a temporary reaction to the excitement of being in a new place, or maybe something like malaria from that part of the grounds where I had found her sitting.”
“Very likely. The hour of sunset at this time of year is trying to delicate constitutions. Go on.”
“Very likely. The time of sunset this time of year is tough on sensitive constitutions. Go on.”
“About three quarters of an hour ago she woke up with a loud cry, and has been ever since in a state of great agitation, weeping violently, and answering none of my questions. Yet she does not seem light-headed, but rather what we call hysterical.”
“About three-quarters of an hour ago, she woke up with a loud cry and has been in a state of great agitation since then, crying hard and not answering any of my questions. Yet she doesn't seem delusional, but rather what we would call hysterical.”
“You will permit me now to see her. Take comfort; in all you tell me I see nothing to warrant serious alarm.”
“You'll let me see her now, right? Don't worry; from everything you've told me, I don’t see anything that requires serious concern.”
CHAPTER X.
To the true physician there is an inexpressible sanctity in the sick chamber. At its threshold the more human passions quit their hold on his heart. Love there would be profanation; even the grief permitted to others he must put aside. He must enter that room—a calm intelligence. He is disabled for his mission if he suffer aught to obscure the keen quiet glance of his science. Age or youth, beauty or deformity, innocence or guilt, merge their distinctions in one common attribute—human suffering appealing to human skill.
To a true doctor, there's an indescribable sacredness in the sick room. At the door, more personal feelings lose their grip on his heart. Love would be inappropriate here; even the sadness that others may express must be pushed aside. He must enter that space with a clear mind. If anything clouds the sharp focus of his expertise, he becomes unfit for his task. Age or youth, beauty or ugliness, innocence or guilt, all blend together in one shared trait—human suffering asking for human ability.
Woe to the households in which the trusted Healer feels not on his conscience the solemn obligations of his glorious art! Reverently as in a temple, I stood in the virgin’s chamber. When her mother placed her hand in mine, and I felt the throb of its pulse, I was aware of no quicker beat of my own heart. I looked with a steady eye on the face more beautiful from the flush that deepened the delicate hues of the young cheek, and the lustre that brightened the dark blue of the wandering eyes. She did not at first heed me, did not seem aware of my presence; but kept murmuring to herself words which I could not distinguish.
Woe to the households where the trusted healer doesn’t feel the weight of the serious responsibilities that come with his noble profession! I stood in the young woman’s room with the same reverence as if I were in a temple. When her mother placed her hand in mine, and I felt the pulse, my heart didn’t beat any faster than hers. I gazed steadily at her face, which was even more beautiful with the flush that deepened the delicate colors of her youthful cheek and the sparkle that highlighted the dark blue of her wandering eyes. At first, she didn’t notice me; she seemed unaware of my presence and kept murmuring words that I couldn’t make out.
At length, when I spoke to her, in that low, soothing tone which we learn at the sick-bed, the expression of her face altered suddenly; she passed the hand I did not hold over her forehead, turned round, looked at me full and long, with unmistakable surprise, yet not as if the surprise displeased her,—less the surprise which recoils from the sight of a stranger than that which seems doubtfully to recognize an unexpected friend. Yet on the surprise there seemed to creep something of apprehension, of fear; her hand trembled, her voice quivered, as she said,—
At last, when I spoke to her in that low, calming voice we use at the bedside, her expression changed suddenly; she ran the hand I wasn’t holding over her forehead, turned around, and looked at me intently for a long time, clearly surprised, but not in a way that showed she was displeased—less like the surprise of seeing a stranger and more like the cautious recognition of an unexpected friend. But along with her surprise, there was a hint of anxiety, of fear; her hand trembled, and her voice shook as she said,—
“Can it be, can it be? Am I awake? Mother, who is this?”
“Is this real? Am I awake? Mom, who is this?”
“Only a kind visitor, Dr. Fenwick, sent by Mrs. Poyntz, for I was uneasy about you, darling. How are you now?”
“Only a kind visitor, Dr. Fenwick, sent by Mrs. Poyntz, because I was worried about you, sweetie. How are you feeling now?”
“Better. Strangely better.”
"Better. Oddly better."
She removed her hand gently from mine, and with an involuntary modest shrinking turned towards Mrs. Ashleigh, drawing her mother towards herself, so that she became at once hidden from me.
She gently pulled her hand away from mine, and with a natural sense of modesty, she turned towards Mrs. Ashleigh, pulling her mother closer to her, which immediately made her hidden from my view.
Satisfied that there was here no delirium, nor even more than the slight and temporary fever which often accompanies a sudden nervous attack in constitutions peculiarly sensitive, I retired noiselessly from the room, and went, not into that which had been occupied by the ill-fated Naturalist, but down-stairs into the drawing-room, to write my prescription. I had already sent the servant off with it to the chemist’s before Mrs. Ashleigh joined me.
Satisfied that there was no delirium here, and just the slight, temporary fever that often comes with a sudden nervous attack in particularly sensitive individuals, I quietly left the room and went downstairs to the drawing-room to write my prescription. I had already sent the servant off with it to the pharmacy before Mrs. Ashleigh joined me.
“She seems recovering surprisingly; her forehead is cooler; she is perfectly self-possessed, only she cannot account for her own seizure,—cannot account either for the fainting or the agitation with which she awoke from sleep.”
“She seems to be recovering surprisingly well; her forehead is cooler; she is perfectly composed, but she cannot explain her own seizure—nor can she account for the fainting or the agitation she felt when she woke up.”
“I think I can account for both. The first room in which she entered—that in which she fainted—had its window open; the sides of the window are overgrown with rank creeping plants in full blossom. Miss Ashleigh had already predisposed herself to injurious effects from the effluvia by fatigue, excitement, imprudence in sitting out at the fall of a heavy dew. The sleep after the fainting fit was the more disturbed, because Nature, always alert and active in subjects so young, was making its own effort to right itself from an injury. Nature has nearly succeeded. What I have prescribed will a little aid and accelerate that which Nature has yet to do, and in a day or two I do not doubt that your daughter will be perfectly restored. Only let me recommend care to avoid exposure to the open air during the close of the day. Let her avoid also the room in which she was first seized, for it is a strange phenomenon in nervous temperaments that a nervous attack may, without visible cause, be repeated in the same place where it was first experienced. You had better shut up the chamber for at least some weeks, burn fires in it, repaint and paper it, sprinkle chloroform. You are not, perhaps, aware that Dr. Lloyd died in that room after a prolonged illness. Suffer me to wait till your servant returns with the medicine, and let me employ the interval in asking you a few questions. Miss Ashleigh, you say, never had a fainting fit before. I should presume that she is not what we call strong. But has she ever had any illness that alarmed you?”
“I think I can explain both. The first room where she entered—that one where she fainted—had its window open; the sides of the window are covered with lush creeping plants in full bloom. Miss Ashleigh had already set herself up for harmful effects from the air because of fatigue, excitement, and the poor choice of sitting outside during a heavy dew. The sleep after the fainting episode was even more restless because her body, always alert and active at such a young age, was trying to recover from the disturbance. Her body has almost succeeded. What I’ve prescribed will help a little and speed up what her body still needs to do, and in a day or two, I’m confident that your daughter will be completely fine. Just let me advise you to take care to avoid exposure to open air during the late afternoon. She should also stay away from the room where she was first affected, as it’s a peculiar phenomenon in nervous individuals that a nervous episode can, without any obvious reason, occur again in the same place where it first happened. It's better to keep that room closed for at least a few weeks, burn fires in it, repaint and redecorate it, and sprinkle chloroform. You might not know that Dr. Lloyd passed away in that room after a long illness. Allow me to wait until your servant returns with the medicine, and let me use the time to ask you a few questions. You mentioned that Miss Ashleigh has never fainted before. I would assume she’s not what we call strong. But has she ever had any illness that worried you?”
“Never.”
"Not a chance."
“No great liability to cold and cough, to attacks of the chest or lungs?”
“No serious issues with cold and cough, or problems with the chest or lungs?”
“Certainly not. Still I have feared that she may have a tendency to consumption. Do you think so? Your questions alarm me!”
“Definitely not. Still, I’m worried that she might be prone to tuberculosis. Do you think that’s the case? Your questions are really concerning me!”
“I do not think so; but before I pronounce a positive opinion, one question more. You say you have feared a tendency to consumption. Is that disease in her family? She certainly did not inherit it from you. But on her father’s side?”
“I don’t think so; but before I give a definite opinion, I have one more question. You mentioned you’ve been concerned about a tendency to tuberculosis. Is that disease in her family? She definitely didn’t get it from you. But what about on her father’s side?”
“Her father,” said Mrs. Ashleigh, with tears in her eyes, “died young, but of brain fever, which the medical men said was brought on by over study.”
“Her father,” said Mrs. Ashleigh, with tears in her eyes, “died young, but of a brain fever, which the doctors said was caused by overstudying.”
“Enough, my dear madam. What you say confirms my belief that your daughter’s constitution is the very opposite to that in which the seeds of consumption lurk. It is rather that far nobler constitution, which the keenness of the nervous susceptibility renders delicate but elastic,—as quick to recover as it is to suffer.”
“Enough, my dear madam. What you’re saying reinforces my belief that your daughter’s makeup is completely different from the kind where the seeds of consumption hide. Instead, it’s a much nobler constitution, one that, while sensitive and delicate, is also resilient—just as quick to bounce back as it is to feel pain.”
“Thank you, thank you, Dr. Fenwick, for what you say. You take a load from my heart; for Mr. Vigors, I know, thinks Lilian consumptive, and Mrs. Poyntz has rather frightened me at times by hints to the same effect. But when you speak of nervous susceptibility, I do not quite understand you. My daughter is not what is commonly called nervous. Her temper is singularly even.”
“Thank you, thank you, Dr. Fenwick, for what you’ve said. You’ve lifted a weight off my heart; Mr. Vigors thinks Lilian has consumption, and Mrs. Poyntz has scared me a bit with similar hints. But when you talk about nervous susceptibility, I don’t fully get what you mean. My daughter isn’t what people usually call nervous. Her temperament is remarkably steady.”
“But if not excitable, should you also say that she is not impressionable? The things which do not disturb her temper may, perhaps, deject her spirits. Do I make myself understood?”
“But if she’s not easily excited, should you also say that she’s not easily influenced? The things that don’t upset her mood might, perhaps, bring her down. Am I making sense?”
“Yes, I think I understand your distinction; but I am not quite sure if it applies. To most things that affect the spirits she is not more sensitive than other girls, perhaps less so; but she is certainly very impressionable in some things.”
“Yes, I think I get your point; but I'm not completely sure if it applies. For most things that impact her mood, she isn’t more sensitive than other girls, maybe even less so; but she is definitely very impressionable about certain things.”
“In what?”
"What do you mean?"
“She is more moved than any one I ever knew by objects in external nature, rural scenery, rural sounds, by music, by the books that she reads,—even books that are not works of imagination. Perhaps in all this she takes after her poor father, but in a more marked degree,—at least, I observe it more in her; for he was very silent and reserved. And perhaps also her peculiarities have been fostered by the seclusion in which she has been brought up. It was with a view to make her a little more like girls of her own age that our friend, Mrs. Poyntz, induced me to come here. Lilian was reconciled to this change; but she shrank from the thoughts of London, which I should have preferred. Her poor father could not endure London.”
“She is more affected than anyone I’ve ever known by the things in nature, the countryside, the sounds of rural life, by music, and by the books she reads—even the ones that aren’t imaginative. Maybe she gets this from her poor father, but more noticeably—at least I notice it more in her; he was always very quiet and reserved. And maybe her unique traits have been shaped by the isolation in which she was raised. Our friend, Mrs. Poyntz, encouraged me to come here to help her be a bit more like girls her age. Lilian accepted this change, but she was hesitant about the idea of London, which I would have preferred. Her poor father couldn’t stand London.”
“Miss Ashleigh is fond of reading?”
“Miss Ashleigh enjoys reading?”
“Yes, she is fond of reading, but more fond of musing. She will sit by herself for hours without book or work, and seem as abstracted as if in a dream. She was so even in her earliest childhood. Then she would tell me what she had been conjuring up to herself. She would say that she had seen—positively seen—beautiful lands far away from earth; flowers and trees not like ours. As she grew older this visionary talk displeased me, and I scolded her, and said that if others heard her, they would think that she was not only silly but very untruthful. So of late years she never ventures to tell me what, in such dreamy moments, she suffers herself to imagine; but the habit of musing continues still. Do you not agree with Mrs. Poyntz that the best cure would be a little cheerful society amongst other young people?”
“Yes, she loves reading, but she loves thinking even more. She can sit by herself for hours without a book or anything to do, looking as if she's lost in a dream. She was like that even as a little girl. Back then, she would tell me about the amazing things she imagined. She would say she had seen—actually seen—beautiful lands far away from Earth; flowers and trees that weren't like ours. As she got older, I found this daydreaming annoying and scolded her, saying that if others heard her, they would think she was not just silly but also dishonest. So lately, she never shares what she imagines during those dreamy moments; yet, she still has that habit of daydreaming. Don’t you agree with Mrs. Poyntz that the best remedy would be a bit of cheerful company with other young people?”
“Certainly,” said I, honestly, though with a jealous pang. “But here comes the medicine. Will you take it up to her, and then sit with her half an hour or so? By that time I expect she will be asleep. I will wait here till you return. Oh, I can amuse myself with the newspapers and books on your table. Stay! one caution: be sure there are no flowers in Miss Ashleigh’s sleeping-room. I think I saw a treacherous rose-tree in a stand by the window. If so, banish it.”
“Of course,” I replied, honestly, though feeling a bit jealous. “But here comes the medicine. Could you please take it to her and then sit with her for about half an hour? By then, I expect she will be asleep. I'll wait here until you get back. Oh, I can keep myself busy with the newspapers and books on your table. Wait! Just one warning: make sure there are no flowers in Miss Ashleigh’s room. I think I saw a sneaky rosebush in a pot by the window. If so, get rid of it.”
Left alone, I examined the room in which, oh, thought of joy! I had surely now won the claim to become a privileged guest. I touched the books Lilian must have touched; in the articles of furniture, as yet so hastily disposed that the settled look of home was not about them, I still knew that I was gazing on things which her mind must associate with the history of her young life. That luteharp must be surely hers, and the scarf, with a girl’s favourite colours,—pure white and pale blue,—and the bird-cage, and the childish ivory work-case, with implements too pretty for use,—all spoke of her.
Left alone, I looked around the room where, oh, what a joyful thought! I had definitely earned the right to be a special guest. I touched the books that Lilian must have touched; in the pieces of furniture, still arranged so hastily that they didn’t yet feel like home, I knew I was looking at things her mind must connect with the story of her young life. That lute-harp must surely belong to her, along with the scarf in a girl’s favorite colors—pure white and pale blue—and the birdcage, and the childish ivory workbox, with tools too pretty to actually use—all of it spoke of her.
It was a blissful, intoxicating revery, which Mrs. Ashleigh’s entrance disturbed.
It was a blissful, intoxicating daydream, which Mrs. Ashleigh’s entrance interrupted.
Lilian was sleeping calmly. I had no excuse to linger there any longer.
Lilian was sleeping peacefully. I had no reason to stay there any longer.
“I leave you, I trust, with your mind quite at ease,” said I. “You will allow me to call to-morrow, in the afternoon?”
“I hope I leave you feeling completely at ease,” I said. “Will you let me come by tomorrow in the afternoon?”
“Oh, yes, gratefully.”
"Oh, yes, definitely."
Mrs. Ashleigh held out her hand as I made towards the door.
Mrs. Ashleigh stretched out her hand as I headed for the door.
Is there a physician who has not felt at times how that ceremonious fee throws him back from the garden-land of humanity into the market-place of money,—seems to put him out of the pale of equal friendship, and say, “True, you have given health and life. Adieu! there, you are paid for it!” With a poor person there would have been no dilemma, but Mrs. Ashleigh was affluent: to depart from custom here was almost impertinence. But had the penalty of my refusal been the doom of never again beholding Lilian, I could not have taken her mother’s gold. So I did not appear to notice the hand held out to me, and passed by with a quickened step.
Is there a doctor who hasn’t sometimes felt that formal fee pull him out of the warm world of humanity and back into the cold marketplace of money? It seems to distance him from true friendship, almost saying, “Sure, you’ve given health and life. Thanks, but you’re compensated now!” With a poor person, it wouldn’t have been an issue, but Mrs. Ashleigh was wealthy: to break tradition here would be nearly rude. Yet, if refusing meant I’d never see Lilian again, I couldn’t take her mother’s money. So, I ignored the outstretched hand and walked past quickly.
“But, Dr. Fenwick, stop!”
“But, Dr. Fenwick, hold on!”
“No, ma’am, no! Miss Ashleigh would have recovered as soon without me. Whenever my aid is really wanted, then—but Heaven grant that time may never come! We will talk again about her to-morrow.”
“No, ma’am, no! Miss Ashleigh would have gotten better just as quickly without me. Whenever my help is genuinely needed, then—but I hope that time never comes! We’ll talk about her again tomorrow.”
I was gone,—now in the garden ground, odorous with blossoms; now in the lane, inclosed by the narrow walls; now in the deserted streets, over which the moon shone full as in that winter night when I hurried from the chamber of death. But the streets were not ghastly now, and the moon was no longer Hecate, that dreary goddess of awe and spectres, but the sweet, simple Lady of the Stars, on whose gentle face lovers have gazed ever since (if that guess of astronomers be true) she was parted from earth to rule the tides of its deeps from afar, even as love, from love divided, rules the heart that yearns towards it with mysterious law.
I was gone—now in the garden, filled with fragrant blossoms; now in the lane, bordered by the narrow walls; now in the empty streets, where the moon shone brightly just like that winter night when I rushed away from the place of death. But the streets weren't eerie now, and the moon was no longer Hecate, that gloomy goddess of fear and spirits, but the sweet, simple Lady of the Stars, whose gentle face lovers have admired ever since (if astronomers are right) she separated from Earth to govern the tides from a distance, just as love, when apart from love, governs the heart that yearns for it with a mysterious force.
CHAPTER XI.
With what increased benignity I listened to the patients who visited me the next morning! The whole human race seemed to be worthier of love, and I longed to diffuse amongst all some rays of the glorious hope that had dawned upon my heart. My first call, when I went forth, was on the poor young woman from whom I had been returning the day before, when an impulse, which seemed like a fate, had lured me into the grounds where I had first seen Lilian. I felt grateful to this poor patient; without her Lilian herself might be yet unknown to me.
With how much more kindness I listened to the patients who came to see me the next morning! Everyone seemed more deserving of love, and I wanted to share some of the amazing hope that had blossomed in my heart. My first visit, when I stepped out, was to the young woman I had seen the day before, when a strong feeling, almost like destiny, had drawn me into the gardens where I had first met Lilian. I felt thankful to this poor patient; without her, I might still not know Lilian at all.
The girl’s brother, a young man employed in the police, and whose pay supported a widowed mother and the suffering sister, received me at the threshold of the cottage.
The girl’s brother, a young man working in the police department, whose salary supported their widowed mother and his struggling sister, welcomed me at the door of the cottage.
“Oh, sir, she is so much better to-day; almost free from pain. Will she live now; can she live?”
“Oh, sir, she's feeling so much better today; almost pain-free. Will she live now? Can she make it?”
“If my treatment has really done the good you say; if she be really better under it, I think her recovery may be pronounced. But I must first see her.”
“If my treatment has truly worked as you say; if she is really better because of it, I think we can say she’s on the road to recovery. But I need to see her first.”
The girl was indeed wonderfully better. I felt that my skill was achieving a signal triumph; but that day even my intellectual pride was forgotten in the luxurious unfolding of that sense of heart which had so newly waked into blossom.
The girl was definitely doing much better. I felt that my skills were making a significant impact; but that day, even my intellectual pride was overshadowed by the beautiful feeling in my heart that had just begun to bloom.
As I recrossed the threshold, I smiled on the brother, who was still lingering there,—
As I crossed the threshold again, I smiled at my brother, who was still hanging around there,—
“Your sister is saved, Wady. She needs now chiefly wine, and good though light nourishment; these you will find at my house; call there for them every day.”
“Your sister is safe, Wady. She mostly needs wine and good, light food now; you’ll find these at my house. Stop by to get them every day.”
“God bless you, sir! If ever I can serve you—” His tongue faltered, he could say no more.
“God bless you, sir! If I can ever help you—” His words trailed off, and he couldn't say anything else.
Serve me, Allen Fenwick—that poor policeman! Me, whom a king could not serve! What did I ask from earth but Fame and Lilian’s heart? Thrones and bread man wins from the aid of others; fame and woman’s heart he can only gain through himself.
Serve me, Allen Fenwick—that poor cop! Me, who a king couldn't serve! What did I ask from life but Fame and Lilian’s love? Thrones and food come from other people's help; fame and a woman's heart can only be achieved through one’s own efforts.
So I strode gayly up the hill, through the iron gates, into the fairy ground, and stood before Lilian’s home.
So I walked happily up the hill, through the iron gates, into the enchanted ground, and stood in front of Lilian’s house.
The man-servant, on opening the door, seemed somewhat confused, and said hastily before I spoke,—
The butler, when he opened the door, appeared a bit confused and quickly said before I could say anything,—
“Not at home, sir; a note for you.”
“Not at home, sir; a note for you.”
I turned the note mechanically in my hand; I felt stunned.
I turned the note around in my hand, feeling dazed.
“Not at home! Miss Ashleigh cannot be out. How is she?”
“Not at home! Miss Ashleigh can’t be out. How is she?”
“Better, sir, thank you.”
“I'm better, thank you.”
I still could not open the note; my eyes turned wistfully towards the windows of the house, and there—at the drawing-room window—I encountered the scowl of Mr. Vigors. I coloured with resentment, divined that I was dismissed, and walked away with a proud crest and a firm step.
I still couldn’t bring myself to open the note; my eyes drifted longingly towards the windows of the house, and there—at the living room window—I saw Mr. Vigors scowling. I felt a flush of anger, realized I was being dismissed, and walked away with my head held high and a confident stride.
When I was out of the gates, in the blind lane, I opened the note. It began formally. “Mrs. Ashleigh presents her compliments,” and went on to thank me, civilly enough, for my attendance the night before, would not give me the trouble to repeat my visit, and inclosed a fee, double the amount of the fee prescribed by custom. I flung the money, as an asp that had stung me, over the high wall, and tore the note into shreds. Having thus idly vented my rage, a dull gnawing sorrow came heavily down upon all other emotions, stifling and replacing them. At the mouth of the lane I halted. I shrank from the thought of the crowded streets beyond; I shrank yet more from the routine of duties, which stretched before me in the desert into which daily life was so suddenly smitten. I sat down by the roadside, shading my dejected face with a nervous hand. I looked up as the sound of steps reached my ear, and saw Dr. Jones coming briskly along the lane, evidently from Abbots’ House. He must have been there at the very time I had called. I was not only dismissed but supplanted. I rose before he reached the spot on which I had seated myself, and went my way into the town, went through my allotted round of professional visits; but my attentions were not so tenderly devoted, my skill so genially quickened by the glow of benevolence, as my poorer patients had found them in the morning. I have said how the physician should enter the sick-room. “A Calm Intelligence!” But if you strike a blow on the heart, the intellect suffers. Little worth, I suspect, was my “calm intelligence” that day. Bichat, in his famous book upon Life and Death, divides life into two classes,—animal and organic. Man’s intellect, with the brain for its centre, belongs to life animal; his passions to life organic, centred in the heart, in the viscera. Alas! if the noblest passions through which alone we lift ourselves into the moral realm of the sublime and beautiful really have their centre in the life which the very vegetable, that lives organically, shares with us! And, alas! if it be that life which we share with the vegetable, that can cloud, obstruct, suspend, annul that life centred in the brain, which we share with every being howsoever angelic, in every star howsoever remote, on whom the Creator bestows the faculty of thought!
When I got out of the gates, on the empty road, I opened the note. It started off formally. “Mrs. Ashleigh sends her regards,” and continued to thank me, politely enough, for coming the night before, saying she wouldn’t trouble me to visit again, and included a fee, double what is usually given. I threw the money over the high wall like an asp that had just stung me and ripped the note into pieces. After releasing my anger like that, a heavy, dull sadness settled over all my other feelings, stifling and replacing them. I paused at the end of the lane. I recoiled at the thought of the crowded streets beyond; I even more dreaded the routine of responsibilities that stretched before me in the wasteland that daily life had suddenly become. I sat down by the roadside, covering my downcast face with a nervous hand. I looked up when I heard footsteps and saw Dr. Jones walking briskly down the lane, clearly coming from Abbots' House. He must have been there right when I called. I was not just dismissed but replaced. I stood up before he reached where I was sitting and walked into town, going through my scheduled professional visits; but my attentiveness was not as tender, my skills not as positively energized by goodwill as my poorer patients had experienced in the morning. I have mentioned how a doctor should enter a sickroom. “A Calm Intelligence!” But when you get hit in the heart, the mind suffers. I suspect my “calm intelligence” was not worth much that day. Bichat, in his famous book on Life and Death, divides life into two types—animal and organic. A person's intellect, with the brain as its center, belongs to animal life; their emotions belong to organic life, centered in the heart and the organs. Sadly, if the noblest emotions that elevate us to the moral domain of the sublime and beautiful actually reside in the life that even plants, which exist organically, share with us! And, sadly, if it is that life we share with plants that can obscure, hinder, suspend, or nullify that life centered in the brain, which we share with every being, no matter how angelic, in every remote star, upon whom the Creator bestows the ability to think!
CHAPTER XII.
But suddenly I remembered Mrs. Poyntz. I ought to call on her. So I closed my round of visits at her door. The day was then far advanced, and the servant politely informed me that Mrs. Poyntz was at dinner. I could only leave my card, with a message that I would pay my respects to her the next day. That evening I received from her this note:—
But suddenly I thought of Mrs. Poyntz. I should visit her. So I finished my rounds at her place. By then, it was getting late, and the servant kindly told me that Mrs. Poyntz was having dinner. I could only leave my card with a note saying that I'd come by to see her the next day. That evening, I got this note from her:—
Dear Dr. Fenwick,—I regret much that I cannot have the pleasure of seeing you to-morrow. Poyntz and I are going to visit his brother, at the other end of the county, and we start early. We shall be away some days. Sorry to hear from Mrs. Ashleigh that she has been persuaded by Mr. Vigors to consult Dr. Jones about Lilian. Vigors and Jones both frighten the poor mother, and insist upon consumptive tendencies. Unluckily, you seem to have said there was little the matter. Some doctors train their practice as some preachers fill their churches,—by adroit use of the appeals to terror. You do not want patients, Dr. Jones does. And, after all, better perhaps as it is. Yours, etc. M. Poyntz.
Dear Dr. Fenwick, — I’m really sorry that I won’t be able to see you tomorrow. Poyntz and I are heading to visit his brother at the other end of the county, and we’re leaving early. We’ll be gone for a few days. I was sad to hear from Mrs. Ashleigh that she’s been convinced by Mr. Vigors to consult Dr. Jones about Lilian. Vigors and Jones both scare the poor mother and keep insisting on some consumptive tendencies. Unfortunately, it seems you mentioned there wasn’t much to worry about. Some doctors build their practices just like some preachers fill their churches — by skillfully using fear as a tactic. You’re not looking for patients, but Dr. Jones is. And honestly, maybe it’s better this way. Yours, etc. M. Poyntz.
To my more selfish grief, anxiety for Lilian was now added. I had seen many more patients die from being mistreated for consumption than from consumption itself. And Dr. Jones was a mercenary, cunning, needy man, with much crafty knowledge of human foibles, but very little skill in the treatment of human maladies. My fears were soon confirmed. A few days after I heard from Miss Brabazon that Miss Ashleigh was seriously ill, kept her room. Mrs. Ashleigh made this excuse for not immediately returning the visits which the Hill had showered upon her. Miss Brabazon had seen Dr. Jones, who had shaken his head, said it was a serious case; but that time and care (his time and his care!) might effect wonders.
To my greater distress, I was now also worried about Lilian. I had seen more patients die from being poorly treated for tuberculosis than from the disease itself. And Dr. Jones was a greedy, manipulative, desperate man, with a lot of clever insight into human weaknesses, but very little ability to actually treat illnesses. My worries were soon confirmed. A few days later, I heard from Miss Brabazon that Miss Ashleigh was seriously ill and confined to her room. Mrs. Ashleigh used this as an excuse for not immediately returning the visits that the Hill had been sending her way. Miss Brabazon had spoken to Dr. Jones, who had shaken his head and said it was a serious case; but that time and care (his time and his care!) could work wonders.
How stealthily at the dead of the night I would climb the Hill and look towards the windows of the old sombre house,—one window, in which a light burned dim and mournful, the light of a sick-room,—of hers!
How quietly in the dead of night I would climb the hill and look toward the windows of the old, dreary house—one window where a dim, sad light burned, the light of a sickroom—hers!
At length Mrs. Poyntz came back, and I entered her house, having fully resolved beforehand on the line of policy to be adopted towards the potentate whom I hoped to secure as an ally. It was clear that neither disguise nor half-confidence would baffle the penetration of so keen an intellect, nor propitiate the good will of so imperious and resolute a temper. Perfect frankness here was the wisest prudence; and after all, it was most agreeable to my own nature, and most worthy of my own honour.
At last, Mrs. Poyntz returned, and I went into her house, having fully decided in advance on the approach I would take with the powerful person I hoped to win as an ally. It was clear that neither pretending nor half-heartedness would fool someone with such sharp insight, nor win over the goodwill of such a commanding and determined character. Complete honesty was the smartest strategy here; and in the end, it was not only more in line with my own nature but also more deserving of my own integrity.
Luckily, I found Mrs. Poyntz alone, and taking in both mine the hand she somewhat coldly extended to me, I said, with the earnestness of suppressed emotion,—
Luckily, I found Mrs. Poyntz by herself, and taking her hand, which she extended to me somewhat coldly, I said, with the seriousness of suppressed emotion,—
“You observed when I last saw you, that I had not yet asked you to be my friend. I ask it now. Listen to me with all the indulgence you can vouchsafe, and let me at least profit by your counsel if you refuse to give me your aid.”
“You noticed the last time I saw you that I hadn't asked you to be my friend yet. I'm asking now. Please hear me out with as much patience as you can manage, and at least let me benefit from your advice if you won't offer me your help.”
Rapidly, briefly, I went on to say how I had first seen Lilian, and how sudden, how strange to myself, had been the impression which that first sight of her had produced.
Quickly and briefly, I went on to explain how I first saw Lilian and how sudden and strange the impression from that first sight had been for me.
“You remarked the change that had come over me,” said I; “you divined the cause before I divined it myself,—divined it as I sat there beside you, thinking that through you I might see, in the freedom of social intercourse, the face that was then haunting me. You know what has since passed. Miss Ashleigh is ill; her case is, I am convinced, wholly misunderstood. All other feelings are merged in one sense of anxiety,—of alarm. But it has become due to me, due to all, to incur the risk of your ridicule even more than of your reproof, by stating to you thus candidly, plainly, bluntly, the sentiment which renders alarm so poignant, and which, if scarcely admissible to the romance of some wild dreamy boy, may seem an unpardonable folly in a man of my years and my sober calling,—due to me, to you, to Mrs. Ashleigh, because still the dearest thing in life to me is honour. And if you, who know Mrs. Ashleigh so intimately, who must be more or less aware of her plans or wishes for her daughter’s future,—if you believe that those plans or wishes lead to a lot far more ambitious than an alliance with me could offer to Miss Ashleigh, then aid Mr. Vigors in excluding me from the house; aid me in suppressing a presumptuous, visionary passion. I cannot enter that house without love and hope at my heart; and the threshold of that house I must not cross if such love and such hope would be a sin and a treachery in the eyes of its owner. I might restore Miss Ashleigh to health; her gratitude might—I cannot continue. This danger must not be to me nor to her, if her mother has views far above such a son-in-law. And I am the more bound to consider all this while it is yet time, because I heard you state that Miss Ashleigh had a fortune, was what would be here termed an heiress. And the full consciousness that whatever fame one in my profession may live to acquire, does not open those vistas of social power and grandeur which are opened by professions to my eyes less noble in themselves,—that full consciousness, I say, was forced upon me by certain words of your own. For the rest, you know my descent is sufficiently recognized as that amidst well-born gentry to have rendered me no mesalliance to families the most proud of their ancestry, if I had kept my hereditary estate and avoided the career that makes me useful to man. But I acknowledge that on entering a profession such as mine—entering any profession except that of arms or the senate—all leave their pedigree at its door, an erased or dead letter. All must come as equals, high-born or low-born, into that arena in which men ask aid from a man as he makes himself; to them his dead forefathers are idle dust. Therefore, to the advantage of birth I cease to have a claim. I am but a provincial physician, whose station would be the same had he been a cobbler’s son. But gold retains its grand privilege in all ranks. He who has gold is removed from the suspicion that attaches to the greedy fortune-hunter. My private fortune, swelled by my savings, is sufficient to secure to any one I married a larger settlement than many a wealthy squire can make. I need no fortune with a wife; if she have one, it would be settled on herself. Pardon these vulgar details. Now, have I made myself understood?”
“You noticed the change in me,” I said. “You figured out the reason before I even did—realizing it as I sat there with you, hoping that through you I could see the face that was haunting me. You know what has happened since. Miss Ashleigh is unwell; I truly believe her situation is completely misunderstood. All other feelings blend into a single overwhelming sense of anxiety—of fear. But I owe it to myself, and to everyone, to risk your ridicule even more than your criticism by being completely honest with you about the feeling that makes this fear so intense. This feeling, which might seem like an unthinkable folly from a young romantic, might appear even more foolish in a man of my age and profession. I owe this to myself, to you, and to Mrs. Ashleigh, because the most important thing in life to me is honor. If you, who know Mrs. Ashleigh so well and must be somewhat aware of her plans or hopes for her daughter’s future, believe those plans or hopes aim for something much more ambitious than what I could offer Miss Ashleigh, then please help Mr. Vigors keep me away from the house; help me suppress this presumptuous, dreamy passion. I cannot enter that house without love and hope in my heart; I must not cross that threshold if such love and hope would be considered a betrayal or a sin by the owner. I could restore Miss Ashleigh’s health; her gratitude might—I can’t continue. This danger cannot exist for me or for her if her mother has intentions far above such a son-in-law. And I feel even more obligated to consider all of this while there’s still time because I heard you mention that Miss Ashleigh has a fortune and is what we would call an heiress. The full realization that whatever acclaim I may achieve in my profession doesn’t grant me access to the social power and status that others with less noble professions have is something I’ve come to terms with, thanks to certain words of yours. Besides that, you've seen my background is well accepted among the gentry, so I wouldn’t be considered a misfit in families proud of their lineage, provided I had maintained my inherited estate and avoided the career that allows me to contribute to society. However, I recognize that entering a profession like mine—any profession other than the military or political arena—means leaving your pedigree at the door, as if it’s erased or a dead letter. Everyone must enter that space as equals, regardless of whether they come from a noble or humble background; to those who seek assistance, men are judged by their actions, not their ancestry. Therefore, I can no longer claim any advantage from my birth. I’m just a provincial doctor, whose position would remain the same even if he were a cobbler’s son. But wealth still holds its special significance across all classes. A man with money is shielded from the suspicion that surrounds those perceived as greedy fortune-seekers. My personal fortune, boosted by my savings, is enough to provide any wife I marry with a bigger settlement than many wealthy landowners can offer. I don’t need a fortune for a wife; if she has one, it would belong to her. I apologize for these blunt details. So, have I made myself clear?”
“Fully,” answered the Queen of the Hill, who had listened to me quietly, watchfully, and without one interruption, “fully; and you have done well to confide in me with so generous an unreserve. But before I say further, let me ask, what would be your advice for Lilian, supposing that you ought not to attend her? You have no trust in Dr. Jones; neither have I. And Annie Ashleigh’s note received to-day, begging me to call, justifies your alarm. Still you think there is no tendency to consumption?”
“Absolutely,” replied the Queen of the Hill, who had listened to me quietly, attentively, and without interruption, “absolutely; and you’ve done well to trust me so openly. But before I continue, let me ask: what would you recommend for Lilian, assuming you shouldn't be there for her? You don’t trust Dr. Jones; neither do I. And Annie Ashleigh’s note I got today, asking me to visit, reinforces your concern. Yet you believe there’s no risk of consumption?”
“Of that I am certain so far as my slight glimpse of a case that to me, however, seems a simple and not uncommon one, will permit. But in the alternative you put—that my own skill, whatever its worth, is forbidden—my earnest advice is that Mrs. Ashleigh should take her daughter at once to London, and consult there those great authorities to whom I cannot compare my own opinion or experience; and by their counsel abide.”
“I'm quite sure of this based on my limited understanding of a situation that, to me, seems straightforward and fairly common. However, regarding your alternative point—that my skills, regardless of their value, are not allowed—my sincere recommendation is that Mrs. Ashleigh should immediately take her daughter to London and consult the top experts there, whose opinions and experience far exceed my own; and follow their advice.”
Mrs. Poyntz shaded her eyes with her hand for a few moments, and seemed in deliberation with herself. Then she said, with her peculiar smile, half grave, half ironical,—
Mrs. Poyntz shaded her eyes with her hand for a few moments and appeared to be thinking it over. Then she said, with her unique smile, part serious, part sarcastic,—
“In matters more ordinary you would have won me to your side long ago. That Mr. Vigors should have presumed to cancel my recommendation to a settler on the Hill was an act of rebellion, and involved the honour of my prerogative; but I suppressed my indignation at an affront so unusual, partly out of pique against yourself, but much more, I think, out of regard for you.”
“In more ordinary matters, you would have had me on your side a long time ago. That Mr. Vigors thought he could cancel my recommendation to a settler on the Hill was an act of defiance and challenged the honor of my authority; but I held back my anger at such an unusual insult, partly out of irritation toward you, but even more, I believe, out of respect for you.”
“I understand. You detected the secret of my heart; you knew that Mrs. Ashleigh would not wish to see her daughter the wife of a provincial physician.”
"I get it. You figured out my true feelings; you realized that Mrs. Ashleigh wouldn’t want her daughter to marry a small-town doctor."
“Am I sure, or are you sure, that the daughter herself would accept that fate; or if she accepted it, would not repent?”
“Am I sure, or are you sure, that the daughter herself would accept that fate; or if she did accept it, would she not regret it?”
“Do you not think me the vainest of men when I say this,—that I cannot believe I should be so enthralled by a feeling at war with my reason, unfavoured by anything I can detect in my habits of mind, or even by the dreams of a youth which exalted science and excluded love, unless I was intimately convinced that Miss Ashleigh’s heart was free, that I could win, and that I could keep it! Ask me why I am convinced of this, and I can tell you no more why I think that she could love me than I can tell you why I love her!”
“Don’t you think I’m the most vain man when I say this—I can’t believe I’m so captivated by a feeling that goes against my reason, not supported by anything I see in my way of thinking, or even by the dreams of my youth that celebrated science and dismissed love, unless I truly believe that Miss Ashleigh’s heart is free, that I can win it, and that I can keep it! Ask me why I’m convinced of this, and I can’t explain why I think she could love me any more than I can explain why I love her!”
“I am of the world, worldly; but I am a woman, womanly,—though I may not care to be thought it. And, therefore, though what you say is, regarded in a worldly point of view, sheer nonsense, regarded in a womanly point of view, it is logically sound. But still you cannot know Lilian as I do. Your nature and hers are in strong contrast. I do not think she is a safe wife for you. The purest, the most innocent creature imaginable, certainly that, but always in the seventh heaven; and you in the seventh heaven just at this moment, but with an irresistible gravitation to the solid earth, which will have its way again when the honeymoon is over—I do not believe you two would harmonize by intercourse. I do not believe Lilian would sympathize with you, and I am sure you could not sympathize with her throughout the long dull course of this workday life. And, therefore, for your sake, as well as hers, I was not displeased to find that Dr. Jones had replaced you; and now, in return for your frankness, I say frankly, do not go again to that house. Conquer this sentiment, fancy, passion, whatever it be. And I will advise Mrs. Ashleigh to take Lilian to town. Shall it be so settled?”
“I belong to the world, and I’m worldly; but I’m a woman, and I have a feminine side—even if I don’t always want to be seen that way. So, while what you say seems like complete nonsense from a worldly perspective, it actually makes logical sense from a feminine one. But you still can’t know Lilian the way I do. Your personalities are very different. I don’t think she would be a safe partner for you. She’s the purest, most innocent person you can imagine—definitely that—always in her own little world; and you’re in your own little world right now, but you have a strong pull toward reality, which will assert itself once the honeymoon phase is over. I don’t think you two would truly connect. I doubt Lilian would resonate with you, and I’m sure you wouldn’t be able to resonate with her through the long, tedious stretch of everyday life. So, for both your sakes, I was relieved to find that Dr. Jones took your place; and in return for your honesty, I will be honest: don’t go back to that house. Get over this feeling, this infatuation, or whatever it is. I will suggest to Mrs. Ashleigh that she take Lilian to the city. Should we settle on that?”
I could not speak. I buried my face in my hands—misery, misery, desolation!
I couldn’t speak. I buried my face in my hands—misery, misery, desolation!
I know not how long I remained thus silent, perhaps many minutes. At length I felt a cold, firm, but not ungentle hand placed upon mine; and a clear, full, but not discouraging voice said to me,—
I don't know how long I stayed silent, maybe several minutes. Finally, I felt a cold, firm, but gentle hand on mine; and a clear, reassuring voice said to me,—
“Leave me to think well over this conversation, and to ponder well the value of all you have shown that you so deeply feel. The interests of life do not fill both scales of the balance. The heart, which does not always go in the same scale with the interests, still has its weight in the scale opposed to them. I have heard a few wise men say, as many a silly woman says, ‘Better be unhappy with one we love, than be happy with one we love not.’ Do you say that too?”
“Give me some time to really think about this conversation and to consider the importance of what you feel so strongly. Life's interests don’t always match up perfectly. The heart, which doesn’t always align with those interests, still carries its own weight against them. I've heard a few wise people say, just like many foolish women do, ‘It’s better to be unhappy with the one we love than to be happy with someone we don’t.’ Do you agree with that?”
“With every thought of my brain, every beat of my pulse, I say it.”
“With every thought in my mind, every beat of my heart, I say it.”
“After that answer, all my questionings cease. You shall hear from me to-morrow. By that time, I shall have seen Annie and Lilian. I shall have weighed both scales of the balance,—and the heart here, Allen Fenwick, seems very heavy. Go, now. I hear feet on the stairs, Poyntz bringing up some friendly gossiper; gossipers are spies.”
“After that answer, I stop questioning everything. You'll hear from me tomorrow. By then, I’ll have talked to Annie and Lilian. I’ll have weighed both sides of the situation—and my heart feels very heavy, Allen Fenwick. Now, go. I hear footsteps on the stairs, Poyntz bringing up someone who loves to gossip; gossipers are like spies.”
I passed my hand over my eyes, tearless, but how tears would have relieved the anguish that burdened them! and, without a word, went down the stairs, meeting at the landing-place Colonel Poyntz and the old man whose pain my prescription had cured. The old man was whistling a merry tune, perhaps first learned on the playground. He broke from it to thank, almost to embrace me, as I slid by him. I seized his jocund blessing as a good omen, and carried it with me as I passed into the broad sunlight. Solitary—solitary! Should I be so evermore?
I ran my hand over my eyes, tearless, but how much relief tears would have brought to the pain that weighed them down! Without saying a word, I walked down the stairs, encountering Colonel Poyntz and the old man whose suffering my prescription had eased at the landing. The old man was whistling a cheerful tune, probably one he learned in childhood. He paused to thank me, almost wanting to hug me, as I slipped past him. I took his cheerful blessing as a good sign and carried it with me as I stepped into the bright sunlight. Alone—alone! Would I always be this way?
CHAPTER XIII.
The next day I had just dismissed the last of my visiting patients, and was about to enter my carriage and commence my round, when I received a twisted note containing but these words:—
The next day, I had just sent off the last of my visiting patients and was about to get into my carriage and start my rounds when I received a crumpled note that said only this:—
Call on me to-day, as soon as you can. M. Poyntz.
Please visit me today, as soon as you can. M. Poyntz.
A few minutes afterwards I was in Mrs. Poyntz’s drawing-room.
A few minutes later, I was in Mrs. Poyntz’s living room.
“Well, Allen Fenwick” said she, “I do not serve friends by halves. No thanks! I but adhere to a principle I have laid down for myself. I spent last evening with the Ashleighs. Lilian is certainly much altered,—very weak, I fear very ill, and I believe very unskillfully treated by Dr. Jones. I felt that it was my duty to insist on a change of physician; but there was something else to consider before deciding who that physician should be. I was bound, as your confidante, to consult your own scruples of honour. Of course I could not say point-blank to Mrs. Ashleigh, ‘Dr. Fenwick admires your daughter, would you object to him as a son-in-law?’ Of course I could not touch at all on the secret with which you intrusted me; but I have not the less arrived at a conclusion, in agreement with my previous belief, that not being a woman of the world, Annie Ashleigh has none of the ambition which women of the world would conceive for a daughter who has a good fortune and considerable beauty; that her predominant anxiety is for her child’s happiness, and her predominant fear is that her child will die. She would never oppose any attachment which Lilian might form; and if that attachment were for one who had preserved her daughter’s life, I believe her own heart would gratefully go with her daughter’s. So far, then, as honour is concerned, all scruples vanish.”
“Well, Allen Fenwick,” she said, “I don’t do things halfway for friends. No thanks! I just stick to a principle I’ve set for myself. I spent last night with the Ashleighs. Lilian has definitely changed—she seems very weak, I’m afraid she’s quite ill, and I believe she’s not being treated well by Dr. Jones. I felt it was my duty to push for a change in doctor; but I had to think about something else before deciding who that doctor should be. As your confidante, I needed to consider your own sense of honor. Of course, I couldn’t directly say to Mrs. Ashleigh, ‘Dr. Fenwick admires your daughter; would you mind if he became your son-in-law?’ I definitely couldn’t bring up the secret you shared with me; but I’ve still come to a conclusion that aligns with what I believed before: that since Annie Ashleigh isn’t a woman of the world, she doesn’t have the ambitions that women of the world would have for a daughter with wealth and beauty; her main concern is her child’s happiness, and her biggest fear is that her child will die. She would never oppose any relationships that Lilian might form; and if that relationship were with someone who had saved her daughter’s life, I believe her own heart would gratefully support her daughter’s choice. So, as far as honor goes, all concerns disappear.”
I sprang from my seat, radiant with joy. Mrs. Poyntz dryly continued: “You value yourself on your common-sense, and to that I address a few words of counsel which may not be welcome to your romance. I said that I did not think you and Lilian would suit each other in the long run; reflection confirms me in that supposition. Do not look at me so incredulously and so sadly. Listen, and take heed. Ask yourself what, as a man whose days are devoted to a laborious profession, whose ambition is entwined with its success, whose mind must be absorbed in its pursuits,—ask yourself what kind of a wife you would have sought to win; had not this sudden fancy for a charming face rushed over your better reason, and obliterated all previous plans and resolutions. Surely some one with whom your heart would have been quite at rest; by whom your thoughts would have been undistracted from the channels into which your calling should concentrate their flow; in short, a serene companion in the quiet holiday of a trustful home! Is it not so?”
I jumped up from my seat, filled with joy. Mrs. Poyntz continued dryly, “You take pride in your common sense, and to that, I want to give you some advice that might not be welcome to your romantic notions. I said I don't believe you and Lilian are suited for each other in the long run; my thoughts on that have only solidified. Don’t look at me so skeptically and sadly. Listen and pay attention. Ask yourself, as a man whose life is dedicated to a demanding profession, whose ambitions are tied to its success, whose mind must be focused on its challenges—ask yourself what kind of wife you would have aimed to win if this sudden infatuation with a charming face hadn’t taken over your better judgment and wiped out all your previous plans and resolutions. Surely someone with whom your heart would feel completely at ease; someone who wouldn’t distract your thoughts from the paths your career should be taking; in short, a peaceful partner in the gentle haven of a trusting home! Isn’t that right?”
“You interpret my own thoughts when they have turned towards marriage. But what is there in Lilian Ashleigh that should mar the picture you have drawn?”
“You assume you know what I’m thinking when it comes to marriage. But what about Lilian Ashleigh is so flawed that it ruins the image you’ve created?”
“What is there in Lilian Ashleigh which in the least accords with the picture? In the first place, the wife of a young physician should not be his perpetual patient. The more he loves her, and the more worthy she may be of love, the more her case will haunt him wherever he goes. When he returns home, it is not to a holiday; the patient he most cares for, the anxiety that most gnaws him, awaits him there.”
“What is it about Lilian Ashleigh that matches the image? First of all, the wife of a young doctor shouldn’t be his constant patient. The more he loves her, and the more deserving she is of that love, the more her situation will trouble him wherever he goes. When he comes home, it’s not a break; the patient he cares about most, the worry that eats at him, is right there waiting.”
“But, good heavens! why should Lilian Ashleigh be a perpetual patient? The sanitary resources of youth are incalculable. And—”
“But, seriously! why should Lilian Ashleigh always be the one needing help? The health benefits of youth are immense. And—”
“Let me stop you; I cannot argue against a physician in love! I will give up that point in dispute, remaining convinced that there is something in Lilian’s constitution which will perplex, torment, and baffle you. It was so with her father, whom she resembles in face and in character. He showed no symptoms of any grave malady. His outward form was, like Lilian’s, a model of symmetry, except in this, that, like hers, it was too exquisitely delicate; but when seemingly in the midst of perfect health, at any slight jar on the nerves he would become alarmingly ill. I was sure that he would die young, and he did so.”
“Hold on; I can't argue with a doctor in love! I'm willing to drop that point of contention, but I still believe there’s something about Lilian’s nature that will confuse, distress, and baffle you. It was the same with her father, who she takes after both in looks and personality. He didn’t show any signs of serious illness. His appearance was, like Lilian’s, a picture of balance, except for one thing: it was also a bit too fragile; yet, when he seemed to be in perfect health, even a small stressor could make him seriously ill. I was certain he would die young, and he did.”
“Ay, but Mrs. Ashleigh said that his death was from brain-fever, brought on by over-study. Rarely, indeed, do women so fatigue the brain. No female patient, in the range of my practice, ever died of purely mental exertion.”
“Ay, but Mrs. Ashleigh said that his death was from brain fever, caused by overstudying. Rarely, indeed, do women exhaust the brain like that. No female patient, in the scope of my practice, has ever died solely from mental strain.”
“Of purely mental exertion, no; but of heart emotion, many female patients, perhaps? Oh, you own that! I know nothing about nerves; but I suppose that, whether they act on the brain or the heart, the result to life is much the same if the nerves be too finely strung for life’s daily wear and tear. And this is what I mean, when I say you and Lilian will not suit. As yet, she is a mere child; her nature undeveloped, and her affections therefore untried. You might suppose that you had won her heart; she might believe that she gave it to you, and both be deceived. If fairies nowadays condescended to exchange their offspring with those of mortals, and if the popular tradition did not represent a fairy changeling as an ugly peevish creature, with none of the grace of its parents, I should be half inclined to suspect that Lilian was one of the elfin people. She never seems at home on earth; and I do not think she will ever be contented with a prosaic earthly lot. Now I have told you why I do not think she will suit you. I must leave it to yourself to conjecture how far you would suit her. I say this in due season, while you may set a guard upon your impulse; while you may yet watch, and weigh, and meditate; and from this moment on that subject I say no more. I lend advice, but I never throw it away.”
“Not really mental effort, but maybe a lot of emotional feelings from female patients? Oh, you admit that! I don’t know much about nerves, but I guess that whether they influence the brain or the heart, the outcome in life is pretty much the same if the nerves are too sensitive for the daily grind. And this is what I mean when I say that you and Lilian aren’t a good match. Right now, she’s just a child; her character is still developing, and her feelings are therefore untested. You might think you’ve won her heart; she might believe she gave it to you, and both could be mistaken. If fairies today were willing to swap their kids with humans, and if popular belief didn’t describe a fairy changeling as an ugly, cranky creature, without any of its parents’ grace, I’d almost suspect that Lilian was one of those magical beings. She never seems comfortable in this world, and I honestly don’t think she’ll ever be happy with a mundane, earthly life. Now I’ve explained why I don’t think she’ll be right for you. It’s up to you to figure out how well you would fit her. I’m saying this at the right time, while you can control your impulses; while you can still observe, consider, and reflect; and from this moment on the topic, I won’t say anything more. I offer advice, but I never toss it away.”
She came here to a dead pause, and began putting on her bonnet and scarf, which lay on the table beside her. I was a little chilled by her words, and yet more by the blunt, shrewd, hard look and manner which aided the effect of their delivery; but the chill melted away in the sudden glow of my heart when she again turned towards me and said,—
She came here to a complete stop and started putting on her hat and scarf, which were on the table next to her. I felt a bit uneasy from her words, but even more from the direct, sharp, tough look and attitude that emphasized what she said; however, that unease melted away in the sudden warmth of my heart when she turned to me again and said,—
“Of course you guess, from these preliminary cautions, that you are going into danger? Mrs. Ashleigh wishes to consult you about Lilian, and I propose to take you to her house.”
“Of course, you realize from these early warnings that you're heading into danger? Mrs. Ashleigh wants to talk to you about Lilian, and I plan to take you to her house.”
“Oh, my friend, my dear friend, how can I ever repay you?” I caught her hand, the white firm hand, and lifted it to my lips.
“Oh, my friend, my dear friend, how can I ever repay you?” I took her hand, the smooth, strong hand, and brought it to my lips.
She drew it somewhat hastily away, and laying it gently on my shoulder, said, in a soft voice, “Poor Allen, how little the world knows either of us! But how little perhaps we know ourselves! Come, your carriage is here? That is right; we must put down Dr. Jones publicly and in all our state.”
She pulled it away a bit quickly and, resting it gently on my shoulder, said in a soft voice, “Poor Allen, the world knows so little about us! But maybe we know even less about ourselves! Come on, your ride is here? That’s good; we need to publicly put Dr. Jones in his place and show our authority.”
In the carriage Mrs. Poyntz told me the purport of that conversation with Mrs. Ashleigh to which I owed my re-introduction to Abbots’ House. It seems that Mr. Vigors had called early the morning after my first visit! had evinced much discomposure on hearing that I had been summoned! dwelt much on my injurious treatment of Dr. Lloyd, whom, as distantly related to himself, and he (Mr. Vigors) being distantly connected with the late Gilbert Ashleigh, he endeavoured to fasten upon his listener as one of her husband’s family, whose quarrel she was bound in honour to take up. He spoke of me as an infidel “tainted with French doctrines,” and as a practitioner rash and presumptuous; proving his own freedom from presumption and rashness by flatly deciding that my opinion must be wrong. Previously to Mrs. Ashleigh’s migration to L——, Mr. Vigors had interested her in the pretended phenomena of mesmerism. He had consulted a clairvoyante, much esteemed by poor Dr. Lloyd, as to Lilian’s health, and the clairvoyante had declared her to be constitutionally predisposed to consumption. Mr. Vigors persuaded Mrs. Ashleigh to come at once with him and see this clairvoyante herself, armed with a lock of Lilian’s hair and a glove she had worn, as the media of mesmerical rapport.
In the carriage, Mrs. Poyntz explained to me the gist of her conversation with Mrs. Ashleigh, which led to my re-introduction to Abbots’ House. It turns out that Mr. Vigors had called early the morning after my first visit! He had shown a lot of distress upon hearing that I had been summoned! He focused on my harmful treatment of Dr. Lloyd, noting that, as a distant relative of his and also connected to the late Gilbert Ashleigh, Mrs. Ashleigh was obligated to take up the cause. He referred to me as an infidel "tainted with French doctrines" and described me as a reckless and arrogant practitioner; he demonstrated his own lack of arrogance and recklessness by insisting that my opinion must be wrong. Before Mrs. Ashleigh moved to L——, Mr. Vigors had gotten her interested in the supposed phenomena of mesmerism. He had consulted a clairvoyant, highly regarded by poor Dr. Lloyd, regarding Lilian’s health, and the clairvoyant claimed that she was constitutionally prone to consumption. Mr. Vigors convinced Mrs. Ashleigh to go with him immediately to see this clairvoyant herself, bringing along a lock of Lilian’s hair and a glove she had worn, as a way to establish mesmerical connection.
The clairvoyante, one of those I had publicly denounced as an impostor, naturally enough denounced me in return. On being asked solemnly by Mr. Vigors “to look at Dr. Fenwick and see if his influence would be beneficial to the subject,” the sibyl had become violently agitated, and said that, “when she looked at us together, we were enveloped in a black cloud; that this portended affliction and sinister consequences; that our rapport was antagonistic.” Mr. Vigors then told her to dismiss my image, and conjure up that of Dr. Jones. Therewith the somnambule became more tranquil, and said: “Dr. Jones would do well if he would be guided by higher lights than his own skill, and consult herself daily as to the proper remedies. The best remedy of all would be mesmerism. But since Dr. Lloyd’s death, she did not know of a mesmerist, sufficiently gifted, in affinity with the patient.” In fine, she impressed and awed Mrs. Ashleigh, who returned in haste, summoned Dr. Jones, and dismissed myself.
The clairvoyant, one of those I had publicly called out as a fraud, naturally retaliated by denouncing me in return. When Mr. Vigors solemnly asked her “to look at Dr. Fenwick and see if his influence would be beneficial to the subject,” the seer became extremely agitated and said that “when she looked at us together, we were surrounded by a black cloud; that this indicated trouble and negative outcomes; that our connection was oppositional.” Mr. Vigors then instructed her to let go of my image and bring forth that of Dr. Jones. With that, the somnambulist became calmer and said: “Dr. Jones would do well if he followed guidance beyond his own abilities and consulted me daily about the right treatments. The best remedy of all would be mesmerism. But since Dr. Lloyd’s death, she hasn’t known of a mesmerist who is talented enough and in tune with the patient.” In the end, she made a strong impression on Mrs. Ashleigh, who hurried back, called for Dr. Jones, and dismissed me.
“I could not have conceived Mrs. Ashleigh to be so utterly wanting in common-sense,” said I. “She talked rationally enough when I saw her.”
“I never would have imagined Mrs. Ashleigh to be so completely lacking in common sense,” I said. “She seemed perfectly reasonable when I talked to her.”
“She has common-sense in general, and plenty of the sense most common,” answered Mrs. Poyntz; “but she is easily led and easily frightened wherever her affections are concerned, and therefore, just as easily as she had been persuaded by Mr. Vigors and terrified by the somnambule, I persuaded her against the one, and terrified her against the other. I had positive experience on my side, since it was clear that Lilian had been getting rapidly worse under Dr. Jones’s care. The main obstacles I had to encounter in inducing Mrs. Ashleigh to consult you again were, first, her reluctance to disoblige Mr. Vigors, as a friend and connection of Lilian’s father; and, secondly, her sentiment of shame in re-inviting your opinion after having treated you with so little respect. Both these difficulties I took on myself. I bring you to her house, and, on leaving you, I shall go on to Mr. Vigors, and tell him what is done is my doing, and not to be undone by him; so that matter is settled. Indeed, if you were out of the question, I should not suffer Mr. Vigors to re-introduce all these mummeries of clairvoyance and mesmerism into the precincts of the Hill. I did not demolish a man I really liked in Dr. Lloyd, to set up a Dr. Jones, whom I despise, in his stead. Clairvoyance on Abbey Hill, indeed! I saw enough of it before.”
“She has common sense overall, and a lot of the most ordinary sense,” answered Mrs. Poyntz; “but she’s easily influenced and easily scared when it comes to her feelings, so just as easily as Mr. Vigors convinced her and the somnambule frightened her, I persuaded her against one and scared her away from the other. I had concrete experience to back me up, since it was obvious that Lilian was getting worse under Dr. Jones’s care. The main challenges I faced in getting Mrs. Ashleigh to consult you again were, first, her hesitation to upset Mr. Vigors, as he’s a friend and relative of Lilian’s father; and second, her feeling of shame in asking for your opinion again after showing you such little respect. I took on both of these challenges myself. I’ll bring you to her house, and after you leave, I’ll go to Mr. Vigors and tell him that what’s done is my doing and shouldn’t be undone by him; that matter is settled. Honestly, if you weren’t in the picture, I wouldn’t let Mr. Vigors bring all these nonsense ideas of clairvoyance and mesmerism into the area around the Hill. I didn’t get rid of a man I actually liked, Dr. Lloyd, just to replace him with Dr. Jones, whom I can’t stand. Clairvoyance on Abbey Hill, really! I’ve seen enough of it before.”
“True; your strong intellect detected at once the absurdity of the whole pretence,—the falsity of mesmerism, the impossibility of clairvoyance.”
“True; your sharp mind immediately saw through the ridiculousness of the entire act—the untruth of mesmerism, the impossibility of clairvoyance.”
“No, my strong intellect did nothing of the kind. I do not know whether mesmerism be false or clairvoyance impossible; and I don’t wish to know. All I do know is, that I saw the Hill in great danger,—young ladies allowing themselves to be put to sleep by gentlemen, and pretending they had no will of their own against such fascination! Improper and shocking! And Miss Brabazon beginning to prophesy, and Mrs. Leopold Smythe questioning her maid (whom Dr. Lloyd declared to be highly gifted) as to all the secrets of her friends. When I saw this, I said, ‘The Hill is becoming demoralized; the Hill is making itself ridiculous; the Hill must be saved!’ I remonstrated with Dr. Lloyd as a friend; he remained obdurate. I annihilated him as an enemy, not to me but to the State. I slew my best lover for the good of Rome. Now you know why I took your part,—not because I have any opinion, one way or the other, as to the truth or falsehood of what Dr. Lloyd asserted; but I have a strong opinion that, whether they be true or false, his notions were those which are not to be allowed on the Hill. And so, Allen Fenwick, that matter was settled.”
“No, my strong intellect did nothing of the sort. I don’t know if mesmerism is fake or if clairvoyance is impossible; and I don’t want to know. All I do know is that I saw the Hill in serious trouble—young ladies letting themselves be put to sleep by gentlemen and acting like they had no will of their own against such charm! This is inappropriate and outrageous! And then there’s Miss Brabazon starting to make predictions, and Mrs. Leopold Smythe asking her maid (whom Dr. Lloyd claimed was exceptionally talented) about all the secrets of her friends. When I saw this, I thought, ‘The Hill is becoming corrupted; the Hill is making a fool of itself; the Hill must be saved!’ I tried to reason with Dr. Lloyd as a friend; he stayed stubborn. I took him down as an enemy, not to me but to the community. I sacrificed my best lover for the good of the society. Now you understand why I supported you—not because I have any opinion on the truth or falsehood of what Dr. Lloyd claimed; but I firmly believe that, whether true or false, his ideas are ones that shouldn't be accepted on the Hill. And that’s how the matter was resolved, Allen Fenwick.”
Perhaps at another time I might have felt some little humiliation to learn that I had been honoured with the influence of this great potentate not as a champion of truth, but as an instrument of policy; and I might have owned to some twinge of conscience in having assisted to sacrifice a fellow-seeker after science—misled, no doubt, but preferring his independent belief to his worldly interest—and sacrifice him to those deities with whom science is ever at war,—the Prejudices of a Clique sanctified into the Proprieties of the World. But at that moment the words I heard made no perceptible impression on my mind. The gables of Abbots’ House were visible above the evergreens and lilacs; another moment, and the carriage stopped at the door.
Maybe at another time I would have felt a bit embarrassed to realize that I had been honored with the influence of this powerful leader not as a defender of truth, but as a tool of strategy; and I might have felt some guilt for helping to sacrifice a fellow seeker of knowledge—misguided, for sure, but valuing his personal beliefs over his practical interests—and giving him up to those forces that science constantly battles against—the biases of a group that have been turned into societal norms. But at that moment, the words I heard didn’t really affect me. The rooftops of Abbots' House were visible above the evergreens and lilacs; in another moment, the carriage came to a stop at the door.
CHAPTER XIV.
Mrs. Ashleigh received us in the dining-room. Her manner to me, at first, was a little confused and shy. But my companion soon communicated something of her own happy ease to her gentler friend. After a short conversation we all three went to Lilian, who was in a little room on the ground-floor, fitted up as her study. I was glad to perceive that my interdict of the deathchamber had been respected.
Mrs. Ashleigh welcomed us in the dining room. At first, she seemed a bit awkward and shy around me. But my companion quickly shared some of her own cheerful confidence with her gentler friend. After a brief conversation, all three of us went to see Lilian, who was in a small room on the ground floor that served as her study. I was relieved to see that my request to keep away from the death chamber had been honored.
She reclined on a sofa near the window, which was, however, jealously closed; the light of the bright May-day obscured by blinds and curtains; a large fire on the hearth; the air of the room that of a hot-house,—the ignorant, senseless, exploded system of nursing into consumption those who are confined on suspicion of it! She did not heed us as we entered noiselessly; her eyes were drooped languidly on the floor, and with difficulty I suppressed the exclamation that rose to my lips on seeing her. She seemed within the last few days so changed, and on the aspect of the countenance there was so profound a melancholy! But as she slowly turned at the sound of our footsteps, and her eyes met mine, a quick blush came into the wan cheek, and she half rose, but sank back as if the effort exhausted her. There was a struggle for breath, and a low hollow cough. Was it possible that I had been mistaken, and that in that cough was heard the warning knell of the most insidious enemy to youthful life?
She was lying on a sofa near the window, which was tightly shut; the bright May sunshine was blocked by blinds and curtains; a large fire crackled in the fireplace; the air in the room was like a greenhouse—an ignorant, ridiculous way of nursing those believed to have a consumption! She didn’t notice us as we entered quietly; her eyes were lazily cast down at the floor, and I struggled to hold back the gasp that almost escaped my lips upon seeing her. She looked so different in just a few days, and there was such deep sadness on her face! But when she slowly turned at the sound of our footsteps and her eyes met mine, a quick blush rose to her pale cheek, and she tried to sit up, but sank back as if the effort had drained her. She struggled to breathe and let out a low, hollow cough. Could it be that I was wrong, and that in that cough I heard the ominous signal of a treacherous enemy to youthful life?
I sat down by her side; I lured her on to talk of indifferent subjects,—the weather, the gardens, the bird in the cage, which was placed on the table near her. Her voice, at first low and feeble, became gradually stronger, and her face lighted up with a child’s innocent, playful smile. No, I had not been mistaken! That was no lymphatic, nerveless temperament, on which consumption fastens as its lawful prey; here there was no hectic pulse, no hurried waste of the vital flame. Quietly and gently I made my observations, addressed my questions, applied my stethoscope; and when I turned my face towards her mother’s anxious, eager eyes, that face told my opinion; for her mother sprang forward, clasped my hand, and said, through her struggling tears,—
I sat down next to her and got her to talk about light topics—the weather, the gardens, the bird in the cage that was on the table beside her. At first, her voice was soft and weak, but it gradually became stronger, and her face lit up with a childlike, playful smile. No, I hadn’t been wrong! She didn’t have a sluggish, lifeless temperament that consumption preys on; there was no rapid pulse or excessive wasting of her energy here. Calmly and gently, I made my observations, asked my questions, and used my stethoscope; and when I turned to face her mother’s anxious, eager eyes, her expression revealed my thoughts; her mother rushed forward, took my hand, and said through her tears,—
“You smile! You see nothing to fear?”
“You're smiling! You see nothing to be afraid of?”
“Fear! No, indeed! You will soon be again yourself, Miss Ashleigh, will you not?”
“Fear? No way! You’ll be yourself again soon, Miss Ashleigh, won’t you?”
“Yes,” she said, with her sweet laugh, “I shall be well now very soon. But may I not have the window open; may I not go into the garden? I so long for fresh air.”
“Yes,” she said with her sweet laugh, “I’ll be feeling better very soon. But can I please have the window open? Can I go into the garden? I really long for fresh air.”
“No, no, darling,” exclaimed Mrs. Ashleigh, “not while the east winds last. Dr. Jones said on no account. On no account, Dr. Fenwick, eh?”
“No, no, sweetheart,” exclaimed Mrs. Ashleigh, “not while the east winds are blowing. Dr. Jones said absolutely not. Absolutely not, Dr. Fenwick, right?”
“Will you take my arm, Miss Ashleigh, for a few turns up and down the room?” said I. “We will then see how far we may rebel against Dr. Jones.”
“Will you take my arm, Miss Ashleigh, for a few laps around the room?” I asked. “Then we can see how much we can push back against Dr. Jones.”
She rose with some little effort, but there was no cough. At first her step was languid; it became lighter and more elastic after a few moments.
She got up with a bit of effort, but she didn't cough. At first, her step was slow; it became lighter and more springy after a few moments.
“Let her come out,” said I to Mrs. Ashleigh. “The wind is not in the east, and, while we are out, pray bid your servant lower to the last bar in the grate that fire,—only fit for Christmas.”
“Let her come out,” I said to Mrs. Ashleigh. “The wind isn't coming from the east, and while we're out, please ask your servant to lower the last bar on the fire in the grate—only suitable for Christmas.”
“But—”
“But—”
“Ah, no buts! He is a poor doctor who is not a stern despot.”
“Ah, no excuses! He is a bad doctor who isn't a strict ruler.”
So the straw hat and mantle were sent for. Lilian was wrapped with unnecessary care, and we all went forth into the garden. Involuntarily we took the way to the Monk’s Well, and at every step Lilian seemed to revive under the bracing air and temperate sun. We paused by the well.
So the straw hat and cloak were brought over. Lilian was wrapped up with excessive care, and we all headed into the garden. Without thinking, we took the path to the Monk’s Well, and with every step, Lilian appeared to come alive in the refreshing air and mild sun. We stopped by the well.
“You do not feel fatigued, Miss Ashleigh?”
“You're not feeling tired, Miss Ashleigh?”
“No.”
“No.”
“But your face seems changed. It is grown sadder.”
“But your face looks different. It seems sadder.”
“Not sadder.”
"Not sad."
“Sadder than when I first saw it,—saw it when you were seated here!” I said this in a whisper. I felt her hand tremble as it lay on my arm.
“Sadder than when I first saw it,—saw it when you were seated here!” I said this in a whisper. I felt her hand tremble as it rested on my arm.
“You saw me seated here!”
"You saw me sitting here!"
“Yes. I will tell you how some day.”
“Yes. I’ll tell you how someday.”
Lilian lifted her eyes to mine, and there was in them that same surprise which I had noticed on my first visit,—a surprise that perplexed me, blended with no displeasure, but yet with a something of vague alarm.
Lilian looked up at me, and I saw in her eyes that same surprise I had noticed during my first visit—a surprise that confused me, mixed with no annoyance, but still with a hint of vague worry.
We soon returned to the house.
We quickly went back to the house.
Mrs. Ashleigh made me a sign to follow her into the drawing-room, leaving Mrs. Poyntz with Lilian.
Mrs. Ashleigh signaled for me to follow her into the living room, leaving Mrs. Poyntz with Lilian.
“Well?” said she, tremblingly.
"Well?" she said, trembling.
“Permit me to see Dr. Jones’s prescriptions. Thank you. Ay, I thought so. My dear madam, the mistake here has been in depressing nature instead of strengthening; in narcotics instead of stimulants. The main stimulants which leave no reaction are air and light. Promise me that I may have my own way for a week,—that all I recommend will be implicitly heeded?”
“Let me see Dr. Jones’s prescriptions. Thank you. Yes, I thought so. My dear lady, the mistake here has been in suppressing nature instead of boosting it; using narcotics instead of stimulants. The main stimulants that have no negative effects are fresh air and sunlight. Promise me that I can do things my way for a week—that everything I suggest will be followed without question?”
“I promise. But that cough,—you noticed it?”
“I promise. But that cough—you noticed it?”
“Yes. The nervous system is terribly lowered, and nervous exhaustion is a strange impostor; it imitates all manner of complaints with which it has no connection. The cough will soon disappear! But pardon my question. Mrs. Poyntz tells me that you consulted a clairvoyants about your daughter. Does Miss Ashleigh know that you did so?”
“Yes. The nervous system is severely affected, and nervous exhaustion is a weird trickster; it mimics all sorts of ailments that it has nothing to do with. The cough will go away soon! But excuse my question. Mrs. Poyntz mentioned that you consulted a clairvoyant about your daughter. Does Miss Ashleigh know you did that?”
“No; I did not tell her.”
"No, I didn't tell her."
“I am glad of that. And pray, for Heaven’s sake, guard her against all that may set her thinking on such subjects. Above all, guard her against concentring attention on any malady that your fears erroneously ascribe to her. It is amongst the phenomena of our organization that you cannot closely rivet your consciousness on any part of the frame, however healthy, but it will soon begin to exhibit morbid sensibility. Try to fix all your attention on your little finger for half an hour, and before the half hour is over the little finger will be uneasy, probably even painful. How serious, then, is the danger to a young girl, at the age in which imagination is most active, most intense, if you force upon her a belief that she is in danger of a mortal disease! It is a peculiarity of youth to brood over the thought of early death much more resignedly, much more complacently, than we do in maturer years. Impress on a young imaginative girl, as free from pulmonary tendencies as you and I are, the conviction that she must fade away into the grave, and though she may not actually die of consumption, you instil slow poison into her system. Hope is the natural aliment of youth. You impoverish nourishment where you discourage hope. As soon as this temporary illness is over, reject for your daughter the melancholy care which seems to her own mind to mark her out from others of her age. Rear her for the air, which is the kindest life-giver; to sleep with open windows: to be out at sunrise. Nature will do more for her than all our drugs can do. You have been hitherto fearing Nature; now trust to her.”
“I’m glad to hear that. And please, for heaven’s sake, protect her from anything that might lead her to think about such things. Above all, keep her from focusing on any illness that your worries wrongly attribute to her. It’s a quirk of our minds that if you concentrate too much on any part of your body, even if it's healthy, it will soon start to feel discomforting. Try to focus all your attention on your little finger for half an hour, and before the time is up, that little finger will start feeling uneasy, maybe even painful. How serious, then, is the risk for a young girl, at an age when her imagination is most active and intense, if you instill in her the belief that she is in danger of a deadly disease! It's typical for youth to think about early death with much more acceptance and calmness than we do as adults. If you convince a young imaginative girl, who has no lung issues just like you and I, that she is destined to fade away, even if she doesn’t actually die from tuberculosis, you’re poisoning her system slowly. Hope is the natural fuel of youth. You drain energy where you kill hope. Once this temporary illness passes, shield your daughter from the gloomy thoughts that make her feel different from others her age. Raise her to embrace the fresh air, which is the greatest source of life; let her sleep with open windows; take her out at sunrise. Nature can offer her more healing than any medicine we can provide. You have been afraid of Nature until now; it’s time to trust her.”
Here Mrs. Poyntz joined us, and having, while I had been speaking, written my prescription and some general injunctions, I closed my advice with an appeal to that powerful protectress.
Here, Mrs. Poyntz joined us, and while I had been talking, she wrote my prescription and some general instructions. I wrapped up my advice with a plea to that strong protector.
“This, my dear madam, is a case in which I need your aid, and I ask it. Miss Ashleigh should not be left with no other companion than her mother. A change of faces is often as salutary as a change of air. If you could devote an hour or two this very evening to sit with Miss Ashleigh, to talk to her with your usual cheerfulness, and—”
“This, my dear madam, is a situation where I need your help, and I’m asking for it. Miss Ashleigh shouldn’t be left with only her mother for company. A change of faces can be just as refreshing as a change of scenery. If you could spend an hour or two this evening with Miss Ashleigh, chatting with her like you usually do, and—”
“Annie,” interrupted Mrs. Poyntz, “I will come and drink tea with you at half-past seven, and bring my knitting; and perhaps, if you ask him, Dr. Fenwick will come too! He can be tolerably entertaining when he likes it.”
“Annie,” interrupted Mrs. Poyntz, “I’ll come over for tea at half-past seven and bring my knitting; and maybe, if you invite him, Dr. Fenwick will join us too! He can be pretty entertaining when he wants to be.”
“It is too great a tax on his kindness, I fear,” said Mrs. Ashleigh. “But,” she added cordially, “I should be grateful indeed if he would spare us an hour of his time.”
“It’s too much to ask of his kindness, I worry,” said Mrs. Ashleigh. “But,” she added warmly, “I would be really grateful if he could spare us an hour of his time.”
I murmured an assent which I endeavoured to make not too joyous.
I quietly agreed, trying not to sound too cheerful.
“So that matter is settled,” said Mrs. Poyntz; “and now I shall go to Mr. Vigors and prevent his further interference.”
“So that’s settled,” said Mrs. Poyntz. “Now I’ll go to Mr. Vigors and stop him from interfering any further.”
“Oh, but, Margaret, pray don’t offend him,—a connection of my poor dear Gilbert’s. And so tetchy! I am sure I do not know how you’ll manage to—”
“Oh, but Margaret, please don’t upset him—he’s connected to my poor dear Gilbert. And he's so sensitive! I really don’t know how you’ll handle—”
“To get rid of him? Never fear. As I manage everything and everybody,” said Mrs. Poyntz, bluntly. So she kissed her friend on the forehead, gave me a gracious nod, and, declining the offer of my carriage, walked with her usual brisk, decided tread down the short path towards the town.
“To get rid of him? Don’t worry about it. I handle everything and everyone,” said Mrs. Poyntz, straightforwardly. Then she kissed her friend on the forehead, gave me a polite nod, and, turning down my offer of a ride, walked with her usual quick, determined pace down the short path toward the town.
Mrs. Ashleigh timidly approached me, and again the furtive hand bashfully insinuated the hateful fee.
Mrs. Ashleigh shyly approached me, and once more her sneaky hand awkwardly presented the unpleasant fee.
“Stay,” said I; “this is a case which needs the most constant watching. I wish to call so often that I should seem the most greedy of doctors if my visits were to be computed at guineas. Let me be at ease to effect my cure; my pride of science is involved in it. And when amongst all the young ladies of the Hill you can point to none with a fresher bloom, or a fairer promise of healthful life, than the patient you intrust to my care, why, then the fee and the dismissal. Nay, nay; I must refer you to our friend Mrs. Poyntz. It was so settled with her before she brought me here to displace Dr. Jones.” Therewith I escaped.
“Stay,” I said; “this is a situation that requires constant attention. I want to visit often enough that I’d seem like the most money-hungry doctor if you counted my visits in guineas. Let me focus on making my patient better; my professional pride is on the line. And when among all the young women on the Hill, you can't point to anyone with a healthier glow or a brighter promise of a full life than the patient you trust to me, well, then we can talk about fees and going our separate ways. No, no; I have to refer you to our friend Mrs. Poyntz. It was agreed with her before she brought me in to take Dr. Jones’s place.” With that, I made my exit.
CHAPTER XV.
In less than a week Lilian was convalescent; in less than a fortnight she regained her usual health,—nay, Mrs. Ashleigh declared that she had never known her daughter appear so cheerful and look so well. I had established a familiar intimacy at Abbots’ House; most of my evenings were spent there. As horse exercise formed an important part of my advice, Mrs. Ashleigh had purchased a pretty and quiet horse for her daughter; and, except the weather was very unfavourable, Lilian now rode daily with Colonel Poyntz, who was a notable equestrian, and often accompanied by Miss Jane Poyntz, and other young ladies of the Hill. I was generally relieved from my duties in time to join her as she returned homewards. Thus we made innocent appointments, openly, frankly, in her mother’s presence, she telling me beforehand in what direction excursions had been planned with Colonel Poyntz, and I promising to fall in with the party—if my avocations would permit. At my suggestion, Mrs. Ashleigh now opened her house almost every evening to some of the neighbouring families; Lilian was thus habituated to the intercourse of young persons of her own age. Music and dancing and childlike games made the old house gay. And the Hill gratefully acknowledged to Mrs. Poyntz, “that the Ashleighs were indeed a great acquisition.”
In less than a week, Lilian was recovering; in less than two weeks, she returned to her usual health—actually, Mrs. Ashleigh said she had never seen her daughter look so happy and healthy. I had become quite familiar with Abbots’ House; most of my evenings were spent there. Since horse riding was an important part of my advice, Mrs. Ashleigh bought a nice, calm horse for her daughter, and unless the weather was really bad, Lilian now rode every day with Colonel Poyntz, who was a skilled rider, often accompanied by Miss Jane Poyntz and other young ladies from the Hill. I usually finished my duties in time to join her on her way home. So we made innocent plans openly and honestly in her mother’s presence, with her telling me ahead of time which routes they had planned with Colonel Poyntz, and me promising to join the group—if my other obligations allowed. At my suggestion, Mrs. Ashleigh started opening her house almost every evening to some of the nearby families; this way, Lilian got used to socializing with other young people her age. Music, dancing, and childlike games brought life to the old house. And the Hill thanked Mrs. Poyntz, saying that “the Ashleighs were indeed a wonderful addition.”
But my happiness was not uncheckered. In thus unselfishly surrounding Lilian with others, I felt the anguish of that jealousy which is inseparable from those earlier stages of love, when the lover as yet has won no right to that self-confidence which can only spring from the assurance that he is loved.
But my happiness wasn't without complications. By selflessly including others around Lilian, I felt the pain of jealousy that comes with the early stages of love, when the lover hasn’t yet gained the confidence that only comes from knowing they are loved.
In these social reunions I remained aloof from Lilian. I saw her courted by the gay young admirers whom her beauty and her fortune drew around her,—her soft face brightening in the exercise of the dance, which the gravity of my profession rather than my years forbade to join; and her laugh, so musically subdued, ravishing my ear and fretting my heart as if the laugh were a mockery on my sombre self and my presumptuous dreams. But no, suddenly, shyly, her eyes would steal away from those about her, steal to the corner in which I sat, as if they missed me, and, meeting my own gaze, their light softened before they turned away; and the colour on her cheek would deepen, and to her lip there came a smile different from the smile that it shed on others. And then—and then—all jealousy, all sadness vanished, and I felt the glory which blends with the growing belief that we are loved.
In these social gatherings, I kept my distance from Lilian. I watched as she was surrounded by lively young admirers drawn to her beauty and wealth—her gentle face lighting up with joy while dancing, something I was too serious about my profession, rather than my age, to join in. Her laugh, softly enchanting, captivated me and tugged at my heart, as if it mocked my gloomy self and my lofty dreams. But then, unexpectedly, her eyes would shyly drift from those around her to the corner where I sat, as if she missed me. When our gazes met, her light seemed to soften before she looked away; the color in her cheeks would deepen, and a different smile appeared on her lips—one that she didn't share with others. In that moment—all jealousy, all sadness disappeared, and I felt the incredible joy that comes with the growing belief that we are loved.
In that diviner epoch of man’s mysterious passion, when ideas of perfection and purity, vague and fugitive before, start forth and concentre themselves round one virgin shape,—that rises out from the sea of creation, welcomed by the Hours and adorned by the Graces,—how the thought that this archetype of sweetness and beauty singles himself from the millions, singles himself for her choice, ennobles and lifts up his being! Though after-experience may rebuke the mortal’s illusion, that mistook for a daughter of Heaven a creature of clay like himself, yet for a while the illusion has grandeur. Though it comes from the senses which shall later oppress and profane it, the senses at first shrink into shade, awed and hushed by the presence that charms them. All that is brightest and best in the man has soared up like long-dormant instincts of Heaven, to greet and to hallow what to him seems life’s fairest dream of the heavenly! Take the wings from the image of Love, and the god disappears from the form!
In that extraordinary time of humanity’s deep passion, when ideas of perfection and purity, once vague and fleeting, come together around one pure figure—that emerges from the sea of creation, welcomed by the Hours and adorned by the Graces—how the realization that this ideal of sweetness and beauty stands out from the millions, chosen by her, elevates and uplifts his existence! Even though future experiences may challenge the human’s illusion, mistaking a being of clay for a heavenly daughter, for a time, that illusion feels grand. Although it originates from the senses that will later tarnish and diminish it, initially, those senses retreat into the background, awed and hushed by the presence that captivates them. Everything that is brightest and best in the man has risen like long-dormant heavenly instincts, ready to greet and sanctify what seems to him life’s most beautiful dream of the divine! Remove the wings from the image of Love, and the god vanishes from the form!
Thus, if at moments jealous doubt made my torture, so the moment’s relief from it sufficed for my rapture. But I had a cause for disquiet less acute but less varying than jealousy.
Thus, if at times jealous doubts caused me pain, the relief from them was enough to bring me joy. But I had a reason for unease that was less intense but also less changeable than jealousy.
Despite Lilian’s recovery from the special illness which had more immediately absorbed my care, I remained perplexed as to its cause and true nature. To her mother I gave it the convenient epithet of “nervous;” but the epithet did not explain to myself all the symptoms I classified by it. There was still, at times, when no cause was apparent or conjecturable, a sudden change in the expression of her countenance, in the beat of her pulse; the eye would become fixed, the bloom would vanish, the pulse would sink feebler and feebler till it could be scarcely felt; yet there was no indication of heart disease, of which such sudden lowering of life is in itself sometimes a warning indication. The change would pass away after a few minutes, during which she seemed unconscious, or, at least, never spoke—never appeared to heed what was said to her. But in the expression of her countenance there was no character of suffering or distress; on the contrary, a wondrous serenity, that made her beauty more beauteous, her very youthfulness younger; and when this spurious or partial kind of syncope passed, she recovered at once without effort, without acknowledging that she had felt faint or unwell, but rather with a sense of recruited vitality, as the weary obtain from a sleep. For the rest her spirits were more generally light and joyous than I should have premised from her mother’s previous description. She would enter mirthfully into the mirth of young companions round her: she had evidently quick perception of the sunny sides of life; an infantine gratitude for kindness; an infantine joy in the trifles that amuse only those who delight in tastes pure and simple. But when talk rose into graver and more contemplative topics, her attention became earnest and absorbed; and sometimes a rich eloquence, such as I have never before nor since heard from lips so young, would startle me first into a wondering silence, and soon into a disapproving alarm: for the thoughts she then uttered seemed to me too fantastic, too visionary, too much akin to the vagaries of a wild though beautiful imagination. And then I would seek to check, to sober, to distract fancies with which my reason had no sympathy, and the indulgence of which I regarded as injurious to the normal functions of the brain.
Despite Lilian’s recovery from the specific illness that had needed my attention, I was still confused about its cause and true nature. I described it to her mother as “nervous,” but that label didn’t clarify all the symptoms I attributed to it. There were moments when no cause was clear or even guessed at, and her expression would suddenly change along with her pulse; her eyes would become fixed, the color would drain from her face, and her pulse would weaken until it was barely detectable. Yet, there were no signs of heart disease, which might explain such a sudden drop in vitality. This change would last for a few minutes, during which she seemed unaware, or at least didn’t speak—she didn’t react to anything said to her. However, her expression showed no sign of suffering or distress; on the contrary, there was a remarkable calmness that made her beauty even more stunning, her youthfulness seem even younger. When this temporary faintness passed, she would bounce back immediately without any effort, without acknowledging that she had felt weak or unwell, almost like she had gained new energy from a restful sleep. For the most part, her mood was lighter and more joyful than I would have expected from her mother’s earlier description. She would joyfully join in the laughter of her young friends around her, clearly aware of the brighter sides of life; she had a childlike appreciation for kindness and found joy in simple pleasures. But when the conversation turned to more serious or thoughtful topics, her attention became intense and focused; sometimes a profound eloquence, unlike anything I had heard from someone so young, would first leave me in stunned silence and then lead to a sense of disquiet: her ideas seemed too fanciful, too dreamlike, too similar to the whims of a wild but beautiful imagination. And so, I would try to curb, to ground, to distract her from thoughts that my reason couldn’t agree with, and I viewed indulging them as harmful to the normal functions of the mind.
When thus, sometimes with a chilling sentence, sometimes with a half-sarcastic laugh, I would repress outpourings frank and musical as the songs of a forest-bird, she would look at me with a kind of plaintive sorrow,—often sigh and shiver as she turned away. Only in those modes did she show displeasure; otherwise ever sweet and docile, and ever, if, seeing that I had pained her, I asked forgiveness, humbling herself rather to ask mine, and brightening our reconciliation with her angel smile. As yet I had not dared to speak of love; as yet I gazed on her as the captive gazes on the flowers and the stars through the gratings of his cell, murmuring to himself, “When shall the doors unclose?”
When I would sometimes hold back genuine, beautiful expressions with a cold remark or a half-sarcastic laugh, she would look at me with a kind of sad sorrow—often sighing and shivering as she turned away. Those were the only times she showed any displeasure; other than that, she was always sweet and willing. Whenever I realized I had hurt her and asked for forgiveness, she would humble herself to seek my forgiveness instead, brightening our reconciliation with her angelic smile. I still hadn't dared to talk about love; I looked at her like a prisoner gazing at flowers and stars through the bars of a cell, whispering to myself, “When will the doors open?”
CHAPTER XVI.
It was with a wrath suppressed in the presence of the fair ambassadress, that Mr. Vigors had received from Mrs. Poyntz the intelligence that I had replaced Dr. Jones at Abbots’ House not less abruptly than Dr. Jones had previously supplanted me. As Mrs. Poyntz took upon herself the whole responsibility of this change, Mr. Vigors did not venture to condemn it to her face; for the Administrator of Laws was at heart no little in awe of the Autocrat of Proprieties; as Authority, howsoever established, is in awe of Opinion, howsoever capricious.
Mr. Vigors received the news from Mrs. Poyntz that I had taken Dr. Jones's place at Abbots’ House just as abruptly as Dr. Jones had taken mine, and he kept his anger in check in front of the charming ambassadress. Since Mrs. Poyntz was fully responsible for this change, Mr. Vigors didn't dare to criticize it in front of her because he was somewhat intimidated by the Autocrat of Proprieties. Authority, no matter how it's established, often finds itself wary of opinion, regardless of how unpredictable it may be.
To the mild Mrs. Ashleigh the magistrate’s anger was more decidedly manifested. He ceased his visits; and in answer to a long and deprecatory letter with which she endeavoured to soften his resentment and win him back to the house, he replied by an elaborate combination of homily and satire. He began by excusing himself from accepting her invitations, on the ground that his time was valuable, his habits domestic; and though ever willing to sacrifice both time and habits where he could do good, he owed it to himself and to mankind to sacrifice neither where his advice was rejected and his opinion contemned. He glanced briefly, but not hastily, at the respect with which her late husband had deferred to his judgment, and the benefits which that deference had enabled him to bestow. He contrasted the husband’s deference with the widow’s contumely, and hinted at the evils which the contumely would not permit him to prevent. He could not presume to say what women of the world might think due to deceased husbands, but even women of the world generally allowed the claims of living children, and did not act with levity where their interests were concerned, still less where their lives were at stake. As to Dr. Jones, he, Mr. Vigors, had the fullest confidence in his skill. Mrs. Ashleigh must judge for herself whether Mrs. Poyntz was as good an authority upon medical science as he had no doubt she was upon shawls and ribbons. Dr. Jones was a man of caution and modesty; he did not indulge in the hollow boasts by which charlatans decoy their dupes; but Dr. Jones had privately assured him that though the case was one that admitted of no rash experiments, he had no fear of the result if his own prudent system were persevered in. What might be the consequences of any other system, Dr. Jones would not say, because he was too high-minded to express his distrust of the rival who had made use of underhand arts to supplant him. But Mr. Vigors was convinced, from other sources of information (meaning, I presume, the oracular prescience of his clairvoyants), that the time would come when the poor young lady would herself insist on discarding Dr. Fenwick, and when “that person” would appear in a very different light to many who now so fondly admired and so reverentially trusted him. When that time arrived, he, Mr. Vigors, might again be of use; but, meanwhile, though he declined to renew his intimacy at Abbots’ House, or to pay unavailing visits of mere ceremony, his interest in the daughter of his old friend remained undiminished, nay, was rather increased by compassion; that he should silently keep his eye upon her; and whenever anything to her advantage suggested itself to him, he should not be deterred by the slight with which Mrs. Ashleigh had treated his judgment from calling on her, and placing before her conscience as a mother his ideas for her child’s benefit, leaving to herself then, as now, the entire responsibility of rejecting the advice which he might say, without vanity, was deemed of some value by those who could distinguish between sterling qualities and specious pretences.
To the mild Mrs. Ashleigh, the magistrate’s anger was clearly shown. He stopped visiting her, and in response to a long and apologetic letter she wrote to try to ease his resentment and draw him back to the house, he replied with a detailed mix of moral teaching and sarcasm. He started by declining her invitations, saying his time was precious and his habits were domestic. While he was always ready to give up both time and habits to help others, he felt he had to preserve them when his advice was ignored and his opinions derided. He briefly remarked, but not hastily, on the respect her late husband had shown for his judgment and the benefits that respect had brought. He contrasted the husband’s respect with the widow’s disdain and hinted at the troubles that her disdain prevented him from addressing. He couldn't claim to know what worldly women might consider appropriate toward deceased husbands, but even worldly women typically acknowledged the needs of living children and acted seriously when their interests, especially their lives, were at risk. As for Dr. Jones, Mr. Vigors had complete confidence in his skills. Mrs. Ashleigh would have to decide for herself if Mrs. Poyntz was as reliable an authority on medical matters as he assumed she was on shawls and ribbons. Dr. Jones was careful and humble; he didn’t engage in the empty boasting that swindlers use to lure their victims. However, Dr. Jones had privately assured him that, although the case required no reckless experiments, he was confident about the outcome if his cautious approach was maintained. Dr. Jones wouldn’t comment on the results of any other approach because he was too principled to voice his doubts about the rival who used underhanded tactics to replace him. But Mr. Vigors was convinced, based on other sources of information (which likely referred to the intuitive insights from his clairvoyants), that a time would come when the poor young lady would insist on dismissing Dr. Fenwick, and “that person” would come to be seen in a very different light by those who now admired him so fondly and trusted him so reverently. When that time came, Mr. Vigors might be able to help again; but in the meantime, though he chose not to rekindle his relationship at Abbots’ House or make pointless ceremonial visits, his concern for the daughter of his old friend remained strong, and even grew out of compassion. He would keep an eye on her silently and whenever a way to help her came to mind, he wouldn't be discouraged by the slight Mrs. Ashleigh had shown toward his judgment. He would approach her and share his thoughts for her child’s benefit, leaving her with the full responsibility of accepting or rejecting the advice, which he could say—without boasting—was valued by those who could tell the difference between genuine quality and false pretenses.
Mrs. Ashleigh’s was that thoroughly womanly nature which instinctively leans upon others. She was diffident, trustful, meek, affectionate. Not quite justly had Mrs. Poyntz described her as “commonplace weak,” for though she might be called weak, it was not because she was commonplace; she had a goodness of heart, a sweetness of disposition, to which that disparaging definition could not apply. She could only be called commonplace inasmuch as in the ordinary daily affairs of life she had a great deal of ordinary daily commonplace good-sense. Give her a routine to follow, and no routine could be better adhered to. In the allotted sphere of a woman’s duties she never seemed in fault. No household, not even Mrs. Poyntz’s, was more happily managed. The old Abbots’ House had merged its original antique gloom in the softer character of pleasing repose. All her servants adored Mrs. Ashleigh; all found it a pleasure to please her; her establishment had the harmony of clockwork; comfort diffused itself round her like quiet sunshine round a sheltered spot. To gaze on her pleasing countenance, to listen to the simple talk that lapsed from her guileless lips, in even, slow, and lulling murmur, was in itself a respite from “eating cares.” She was to the mind what the colour of green is to the eye. She had, therefore, excellent sense in all that relates to every-day life. There, she needed not to consult another; there, the wisest might have consulted her with profit. But the moment anything, however trivial in itself, jarred on the routine to which her mind had grown wedded, the moment an incident hurried her out of the beaten track of woman’s daily life, then her confidence forsook her; then she needed a confidant, an adviser; and by that confidant or adviser she could be credulously lured or submissively controlled. Therefore, when she lost, in Mr. Vigors, the guide she had been accustomed to consult whenever she needed guidance, she turned; helplessly and piteously, first to Mrs. Poyntz, and then yet more imploringly to me, because a woman of that character is never quite satisfied without the advice of a man; and where an intimacy more familiar than that of his formal visits is once established with a physician, confidence in him grows fearless and rapid, as the natural result of sympathy concentrated on an object of anxiety in common between himself and the home which opens its sacred recess to his observant but tender eye. Thus Mrs. Ashleigh had shown me Mr. Vigors’s letter, and, forgetting that I might not be as amiable as herself, besought me to counsel her how to conciliate and soften her lost husband’s friend and connection. That character clothed him with dignity and awe in her soft forgiving eyes. So, smothering my own resentment, less perhaps at the tone of offensive insinuation against myself than at the arrogance with which this prejudiced intermeddler implied to a mother the necessity of his guardian watch over a child under her own care, I sketched a reply which seemed to me both dignified and placatory, abstaining from all discussion, and conveying the assurance that Mrs. Ashleigh would be at all times glad to hear, and disposed to respect, whatever suggestion so esteemed a friend of her husband would kindly submit to her for the welfare of her daughter.
Mrs. Ashleigh had that deeply feminine nature that instinctively relies on others. She was shy, trusting, gentle, and caring. Mrs. Poyntz may have unfairly described her as “commonplace weak,” because although she could be seen as weak, it wasn’t due to being ordinary; she had a kind heart and a sweet disposition that couldn't fit that negative label. She could only be considered ordinary in that she had a lot of practical common sense in daily life. Give her a routine to follow, and she would stick to it flawlessly. In her role regarding a woman's responsibilities, she never seemed at fault. No household, not even Mrs. Poyntz's, was run more smoothly. The old Abbots’ House had transformed its original antique gloom into a softer, more pleasing atmosphere. All her servants adored Mrs. Ashleigh; they took pleasure in pleasing her. Her home operated like a well-oiled machine, with comfort flowing around her like gentle sunshine in a sheltered spot. Just looking at her pleasant face or listening to the simple words that flowed from her honest lips, in a calm, slow, soothing tone, was a relief from life's worries. She was to the mind what the color green is to the eye. Therefore, she had excellent judgment regarding everyday matters. In those situations, she didn't need to consult anyone; even the wisest could benefit from seeking her advice. But the moment anything, no matter how trivial, disrupted the routine her mind had become accustomed to, or if an incident pulled her out of the usual path of a woman's daily life, then her confidence dwindled; she needed someone to confide in, someone to advise her; and that person could easily influence or guide her. So, when she lost Mr. Vigors, the guide she usually turned to for advice, she helplessly and desperately sought out first Mrs. Poyntz and then me, because a woman like her is never fully satisfied without the counsel of a man; and once a more personal relationship is established with a physician, trust in him grows quickly and deeply as a natural result of sharing a common concern with the home that opens its intimate spaces to his attentive yet gentle eye. Thus, Mrs. Ashleigh had shown me Mr. Vigors’s letter and, not realizing that I might not be as agreeable as she was, asked me to advise her on how to reconcile and soften her lost husband’s friend and relative. His character seemed to give him dignity and respect in her kind, forgiving eyes. So, putting aside my own irritation, perhaps more at the offensive implications about myself than at the arrogance with which this biased interloper suggested a mother needed his protective oversight of her own child, I drafted a reply that I felt was both respectful and conciliatory, avoiding any argument, and assuring her that Mrs. Ashleigh would always be willing to listen and ready to consider any suggestions from such a valued friend of her husband for the benefit of her daughter.
There all communication had stopped for about a month since the date of my reintroduction to Abbots’ House. One afternoon I unexpectedly met Mr. Vigors at the entrance of the blind lane, I on my way to Abbots’ House, and my first glance at his face told me that he was coming from it, for the expression of that face was more than usually sinister; the sullen scowl was lit into significant menace by a sneer of unmistakable triumph. I felt at once that he had succeeded in some machination against me, and with ominous misgivings quickened my steps.
All communication had stopped for about a month since I returned to Abbots’ House. One afternoon, I unexpectedly ran into Mr. Vigors at the entrance of the blind lane while I was heading to Abbots’ House. A quick look at his face made it clear he had just come from there; his expression was unusually dark, with a sullen scowl that was intensified by a sneer of obvious triumph. I instantly felt he had plotted something against me, and with a sense of foreboding, I quickened my pace.
I found Mrs. Ashleigh seated alone in front of the house, under a large cedar-tree that formed a natural arbour in the centre of the sunny lawn. She was perceptibly embarrassed as I took my seat beside her.
I found Mrs. Ashleigh sitting alone in front of the house, under a big cedar tree that created a natural canopy in the middle of the sunny lawn. She was noticeably embarrassed as I sat down next to her.
“I hope,” said I, forcing a smile, “that Mr. Vigors has not been telling you that I shall kill my patient, or that she looks much worse than she did under Dr. Jones’s care?”
“I hope,” I said, forcing a smile, “that Mr. Vigors hasn’t been telling you that I’m going to harm my patient, or that she looks much worse than she did under Dr. Jones’s care?”
“No,” she said. “He owned cheerfully that Lilian had grown quite strong, and said, without any displeasure, that he had heard how gay she had been, riding out and even dancing,—which is very kind in him, for he disapproves of dancing, on principle.”
“No,” she said. “He admitted happily that Lilian had become quite strong, and mentioned, without any annoyance, that he had heard how cheerful she had been, going out riding and even dancing—which is very nice of him since he disapproves of dancing, on principle.”
“But still I can see he has said something to vex or annoy you; and, to judge by his countenance when I met him in the lane, I should conjecture that that something was intended to lower the confidence you so kindly repose in me.”
“But still, I can tell he has said something to upset or annoy you; and judging by his expression when I saw him in the lane, I would guess that what he said was meant to undermine the trust you so generously place in me.”
“I assure you not; he did not mention your name, either to me or to Lilian. I never knew him more friendly; quite like old times. He is a good man at heart, very, and was much attached to my poor husband.”
“I promise you, he didn't mention your name, neither to me nor to Lilian. I've never seen him friendlier; it felt just like the old days. He's a good man at heart and was really fond of my poor husband.”
“Did Mr. Ashleigh profess a very high opinion of Mr. Vigors?”
“Did Mr. Ashleigh express a very high opinion of Mr. Vigors?”
“Well, I don’t quite know that, because my dear Gilbert never spoke to me much about him. Gilbert was naturally very silent. But he shrank from all trouble—all worldly affairs—and Mr. Vigors managed his estate, and inspected his steward’s books, and protected him through a long lawsuit which he had inherited from his father. It killed his father. I don’t know what we should have done without Mr. Vigors, and I am so glad he has forgiven me.”
“Well, I’m not really sure about that, because my dear Gilbert never talked to me much about him. Gilbert was naturally very quiet. But he avoided all trouble—all worldly matters—and Mr. Vigors took care of his estate, managed his steward’s accounts, and supported him through a long lawsuit he inherited from his father. It killed his father. I don’t know what we would have done without Mr. Vigors, and I’m so relieved he has forgiven me.”
“Hem! Where is Miss Ashleigh? Indoors?”
“Hem! Where is Miss Ashleigh? Is she inside?”
“No; somewhere in the grounds. But, my dear Dr. Fenwick, do not leave me yet; you are so very, very kind, and somehow I have grown to look upon you quite as an old friend. Something has happened which has put me out, quite put me out.”
“No; somewhere on the property. But, my dear Dr. Fenwick, please don’t go just yet; you’re so incredibly kind, and I’ve come to see you as an old friend. Something has happened that has really upset me, completely upset me.”
She said this wearily and feebly, closing her eyes as if she were indeed put out in the sense of extinguished.
She said this tiredly and weakly, closing her eyes as if she were truly being put out, like a light being turned off.
“The feeling of friendship you express,” said I, with earnestness, “is reciprocal. On my side it is accompanied by a peculiar gratitude. I am a lonely man, by a lonely fireside, no parents, no near kindred, and in this town, since Dr. Faber left it, without cordial intimacy till I knew you. In admitting me so familiarly to your hearth, you have given me what I have never known before since I came to man’s estate,—a glimpse of the happy domestic life; the charm and relief to eye, heart, and spirit which is never known but in households cheered by the face of woman. Thus my sentiment for you and yours is indeed that of an old friend; and in any private confidence you show me, I feel as if I were no longer a lonely man, without kindred, without home.”
“The feeling of friendship you express,” I said earnestly, “is mutual. I also feel a unique gratitude. I'm a lonely man, sitting alone by the fire, with no parents or close family, and in this town, since Dr. Faber left, I haven’t had any real connections until I met you. By welcoming me so warmly into your home, you’ve given me something I’ve never experienced since becoming an adult—a glimpse of a happy domestic life; the comfort and joy for the eyes, heart, and spirit that only comes from households uplifted by the presence of a woman. Therefore, my feelings for you and your family are genuinely that of an old friend; and with any private trust you share with me, I feel like I’m no longer a lonely man, without family, without a home.”
Mrs. Ashleigh seemed much moved by these words, which my heart had forced from my lips; and, after replying to me with simple unaffected warmth of kindness, she rose, took my arm, and continued thus as we walked slowly to and fro the lawn: “You know, perhaps, that my poor husband left a sister, now a widow like myself, Lady Haughton.”
Mrs. Ashleigh seemed really touched by what I had said, which had come straight from my heart. After responding to me with genuine warmth and kindness, she got up, took my arm, and continued as we walked slowly back and forth on the lawn: “You might know that my late husband had a sister, now also a widow like me, Lady Haughton.”
“I remember that Mrs. Poyntz said you had such a sister-in-law, but I never heard you mention Lady Haughton till now. Well!”
“I remember Mrs. Poyntz saying you had a sister-in-law like that, but I never heard you mention Lady Haughton until now. Well!”
“Well, Mr. Vigors has brought me a letter from her, and it is that which has put me out. I dare say you have not heard me speak before of Lady Haughton, for I am ashamed to say I had almost forgotten her existence. She is many years older than my husband was; of a very different character. Only came once to see him after our marriage. Hurt me by ridiculing him as a bookworm; offended him by looking a little down on me, as a nobody without spirit and fashion, which was quite true. And, except by a cold and unfeeling letter of formal condolence after I lost my dear Gilbert, I have never heard from her since I have been a widow, till to-day. But, after all, she is my poor husband’s sister, and his eldest sister, and Lilian’s aunt; and, as Mr. Vigors says, ‘Duty is duty.’”
“Well, Mr. Vigors brought me a letter from her, and that’s what has upset me. I bet you haven’t heard me mention Lady Haughton before, because I’m embarrassed to admit I had almost forgotten she existed. She is many years older than my husband was and has a very different personality. She only came to see him once after we got married. She hurt me by making fun of him for being a bookworm; she offended him by looking down on me a bit, considering me a nobody without any spirit or style, which was definitely true. Aside from a cold and unfeeling formal letter of condolence after I lost my dear Gilbert, I haven’t heard from her since I became a widow, until today. But after all, she is my late husband’s sister, his eldest sister and Lilian’s aunt; and as Mr. Vigors says, ‘Duty is duty.’”
Had Mrs. Ashleigh said “Duty is torture,” she could not have uttered the maxim with more mournful and despondent resignation.
Had Mrs. Ashleigh said, "Duty is torture," she couldn't have expressed the saying with more sadness and hopeless acceptance.
“And what does this lady require of you, which Mr. Vigors deems it your duty to comply with?”
“And what does this lady want from you that Mr. Vigors thinks you should do?”
“Dear me! What penetration! You have guessed the exact truth. But I think you will agree with Mr. Vigors. Certainly I have no option; yes, I must do it.”
“Wow! You really figured it out! You're totally right. But I think you'll side with Mr. Vigors on this. I have no choice; yes, I have to go through with it.”
“My penetration is in fault now. Do what? Pray explain.”
“My understanding is faulty right now. What should I do? Please explain.”
“Poor Lady Haughton, six months ago, lost her only son, Sir James. Mr. Vigors says he was a very fine young man, of whom any mother would have been proud. I had heard he was wild; Mr. Vigors says, however, that he was just going to reform, and marry a young lady whom his mother chose for him, when, unluckily, he would ride a steeplechase, not being quite sober at the time, and broke his neck. Lady Haughton has been, of course, in great grief. She has retired to Brighton; and she wrote to me from thence, and Mr. Vigors brought the letter. He will go back to her to-day.”
“Poor Lady Haughton, six months ago, lost her only son, Sir James. Mr. Vigors says he was a really great guy, someone any mother would be proud of. I had heard he was a bit reckless; however, Mr. Vigors claims he was about to change his ways and marry a young woman his mother had picked for him when, unfortunately, he went to ride in a steeplechase while not fully sober and ended up breaking his neck. Lady Haughton has, of course, been deeply grieving. She has gone to Brighton, and she wrote to me from there, and Mr. Vigors brought the letter. He will be going back to see her today.”
“Will go back to Lady Haughton? What! Has he been to her? Is he, then, as intimate with Lady Haughton as he was with her brother?”
“Will he go back to Lady Haughton? What! Has he been to see her? Is he really as close to Lady Haughton as he was with her brother?”
“No; but there has been a long and constant correspondence. She had a settlement on the Kirby Estate,—a sum which was not paid off during Gilbert’s life; and a very small part of the property went to Sir James, which part Mr. Ashleigh Sumner, the heir-at-law to the rest of the estate, wished Mr. Vigors, as his guardian, to buy during his minority, and as it was mixed up with Lady Haughton’s settlement her consent was necessary as well as Sir James’s. So there was much negotiation, and, since then, Ashleigh Sumner has come into the Haughton property, on poor Sir James’s decease; so that complicated all affairs between Mr. Vigors and Lady Haughton, and he has just been to Brighton to see her. And poor Lady Haughton, in short, wants me and Lilian to go and visit her. I don’t like it at all. But you said the other day you thought sea air might be good for Lilian during the heat of the summer, and she seems well enough now for the change. What do you think?”
“No; but there has been a long and ongoing correspondence. She had a settlement on the Kirby Estate—a sum that wasn’t paid off during Gilbert’s lifetime—and a very small part of the property went to Sir James. Mr. Ashleigh Sumner, the heir-at-law to the rest of the estate, wanted Mr. Vigors, as his guardian, to buy that part during his minority, and since it was tied up with Lady Haughton’s settlement, her consent was needed as well as Sir James’s. So there was a lot of negotiation, and since then, Ashleigh Sumner has inherited the Haughton property following poor Sir James’s death, which complicated everything between Mr. Vigors and Lady Haughton. He just went to Brighton to see her. And poor Lady Haughton, in short, wants me and Lilian to go visit her. I really don’t like it at all. But you mentioned the other day that you thought sea air might be good for Lilian during the summer heat, and she seems well enough now for a change. What do you think?”
“She is well enough, certainly. But Brighton is not the place I would recommend for the summer; it wants shade, and is much hotter than L——”
“She’s doing all right, for sure. But Brighton isn’t the spot I would suggest for the summer; it lacks shade and is a lot hotter than L——”
“Yes; but unluckily Lady Haughton foresaw that objection, and she has a jointure-house some miles from Brighton, and near the sea. She says the grounds are well wooded, and the place is proverbially cool and healthy, not far from St. Leonard’s Forest. And, in short, I have written to say we will come. So we must, unless, indeed, you positively forbid it.”
“Yes; but unfortunately, Lady Haughton anticipated that objection, and she has a jointure house a few miles from Brighton, right by the sea. She says the grounds are well wooded, and the place is known to be cool and healthy, not far from St. Leonard’s Forest. In short, I’ve written to say we will come. So we must, unless you absolutely forbid it.”
“When do you think of going?”
“When do you plan to leave?”
“Next Monday. Mr. Vigors would make me fix the day. If you knew how I dislike moving when I am once settled; and I do so dread Lady Haughton, she is so fine, and so satirical! But Mr. Vigors says she is very much altered, poor thing! I should like to show you her letter, but I had just sent it to Margaret—Mrs. Poyntz—a minute or two before you came. She knows something of Lady Haughton. Margaret knows everybody. And we shall have to go in mourning for poor Sir James, I suppose; and Margaret will choose it, for I am sure I can’t guess to what extent we should be supposed to mourn. I ought to have gone in mourning before—poor Gilbert’s nephew—but I am so stupid, and I had never seen him. And—But oh, this is kind! Margaret herself,—my dear Margaret!”
“Next Monday. Mr. Vigors wants me to set the date. If only you knew how much I hate moving once I’ve settled in; and I really dread seeing Lady Haughton, she’s so sophisticated and so sarcastic! But Mr. Vigors says she’s changed a lot, the poor thing! I would love to show you her letter, but I just sent it to Margaret—Mrs. Poyntz—a minute or two before you arrived. She knows a bit about Lady Haughton. Margaret knows everyone. And I suppose we’ll have to wear black for poor Sir James, and Margaret will pick it out, because I really can’t figure out how much we’re expected to mourn. I should have gone into mourning earlier—poor Gilbert’s nephew—but I’m so clueless, and I’d never even met him. And—But oh, this is so sweet! Margaret herself,—my dear Margaret!”
We had just turned away from the house, in our up-and-down walk; and Mrs. Poyntz stood immediately fronting us. “So, Anne, you have actually accepted this invitation—and for Monday next?”
We had just turned away from the house during our stroll, and Mrs. Poyntz stood right in front of us. “So, Anne, you’ve really accepted this invitation—for next Monday?”
“Yes. Did I do wrong?”
“Yeah. Did I mess up?”
“What does Dr. Fenwick say? Can Lilian go with safety?”
“What does Dr. Fenwick say? Is it safe for Lilian to go?”
I could not honestly say she might not go with safety, but my heart sank like lead as I answered,—
I can't honestly say she would be safe going, but my heart sank like a rock as I replied,—
“Miss Ashleigh does not now need merely medical care; but more than half her cure has depended on keeping her spirits free from depression. She may miss the cheerful companionship of your daughter, and other young ladies of her own age. A very melancholy house, saddened by a recent bereavement, without other guests; a hostess to whom she is a stranger, and whom Mrs. Ashleigh herself appears to deem formidable,—certainly these do not make that change of scene which a physician would recommend. When I spoke of sea air being good for Miss Ashleigh, I thought of our own northern coasts at a later time of the year, when I could escape myself for a few weeks and attend her. The journey to a northern watering-place would be also shorter and less fatiguing; the air there more invigorating.”
“Miss Ashleigh doesn’t just need medical care anymore; more than half of her recovery depends on keeping her spirits up. She might be missing the cheerful company of your daughter and other girls her age. A very gloomy house, still feeling the weight of a recent loss, with no other guests; a hostess she doesn’t know, who Mrs. Ashleigh seems to find intimidating—certainly, these don't provide the change of scenery that a doctor would recommend. When I mentioned that sea air would be good for Miss Ashleigh, I was thinking about our northern coasts later in the year, when I could get away for a few weeks to take care of her. The trip to a northern vacation spot would also be shorter and less exhausting; the air there would be more refreshing.”
“No doubt that would be better,” said Mrs. Poyntz, dryly; “but so far as your objections to visiting Lady Haughton have been stated, they are groundless. Her house will not be melancholy; she will have other guests, and Lilian will find companions, young like herself,—young ladies—and young gentlemen too!”
“No doubt that would be better,” Mrs. Poyntz said dryly. “But as far as your reasons for not visiting Lady Haughton go, they’re unfounded. Her house won’t be gloomy; she’ll have other guests, and Lilian will find peers—young ladies and young gentlemen too!”
There was something ominous, something compassionate, in the look which Mrs. Poyntz cast upon me, in concluding her speech, which in itself was calculated to rouse the fears of a lover. Lilian away from me, in the house of a worldly-fine lady—such as I judged Lady Haughton to be—surrounded by young gentlemen, as well as young ladies, by admirers, no doubt, of a higher rank and more brilliant fashion than she had yet known! I closed my eyes, and with strong effort suppressed a groan.
There was something unsettling yet compassionate in the look Mrs. Poyntz gave me as she wrapped up her speech, which was bound to stir the worries of a lover. Lilian was away from me, in the home of a sophisticated lady—someone I thought Lady Haughton to be—surrounded by young men and women, likely admirers of a higher status and more glamorous lifestyle than she had ever experienced! I shut my eyes and with great effort held back a groan.
“My dear Annie, let me satisfy myself that Dr. Fenwick really does consent to this journey. He will say to me what he may not to you. Pardon me, then, if I take him aside for a few minutes. Let me find you here again under this cedar-tree.”
“My dear Annie, let me make sure that Dr. Fenwick truly agrees to this journey. He might say things to me that he wouldn’t say to you. Please forgive me if I pull him aside for a few minutes. I’ll find you here again under this cedar tree.”
Placing her arm in mine, and without waiting for Mrs. Ashleigh’s answer, Mrs. Poyntz drew me into the more sequestered walk that belted the lawn; and when we were out of Mrs. Ashleigh’s sight and hearing, said,—
Placing her arm in mine, and without waiting for Mrs. Ashleigh’s answer, Mrs. Poyntz guided me into the quieter path that surrounded the lawn; and once we were out of Mrs. Ashleigh’s view and earshot, she said,—
“From what you have now seen of Lilian Ashleigh, do you still desire to gain her as your wife?”
“Now that you've seen Lilian Ashleigh, do you still want to have her as your wife?”
“Still? Oh, with an intensity proportioned to the fear with which I now dread that she is about to pass away from my eyes—from my life!”
“Still? Oh, with an intensity matched only by the fear I now feel that she is about to disappear from my sight—from my life!”
“Does your judgment confirm the choice of your heart? Reflect before you answer.”
“Does your judgment match what your heart wants? Think about it before you respond.”
“Such selfish judgment as I had before I knew her would not confirm but oppose it. The nobler judgment that now expands all my reasonings, approves and seconds my heart. No, no; do not smile so sarcastically. This is not the voice of a blind and egotistical passion. Let me explain myself if I can. I concede to you that Lilian’s character is undeveloped; I concede to you, that amidst the childlike freshness and innocence of her nature, there is at times a strangeness, a mystery, which I have not yet traced to its cause. But I am certain that the intellect is organically as sound as the heart, and that intellect and heart will ultimately—if under happy auspices—blend in that felicitous union which constitutes the perfection of woman. But it is because she does, and may for years, may perhaps always, need a more devoted, thoughtful care than natures less tremulously sensitive, that my judgment sanctions my choice; for whatever is best for her is best for me. And who would watch over her as I should?”
“Such selfish judgment as I had before I knew her would not support but oppose it. The nobler judgment that now expands all my reasoning approves and supports my heart. No, no; don’t smile so sarcastically. This isn’t the voice of a blind and self-centered passion. Let me explain myself if I can. I admit that Lilian’s character is still developing; I acknowledge that amid the childlike freshness and innocence of her nature, there is sometimes a strangeness, a mystery, that I haven’t yet traced to its source. But I am sure that her intellect is as sound as her heart, and that intellect and heart will ultimately—if the circumstances are right—come together in the perfect union that represents the ideal of woman. But it’s because she does, and may for years, perhaps always, need more devoted, thoughtful care than those who are less sensitive that my judgment supports my choice; for whatever is best for her is best for me. And who would look after her like I would?”
“You have never yet spoken to Lilian as lovers speak?”
“You've never talked to Lilian the way lovers do?”
“Oh, no, indeed.”
"Oh, no way."
“And, nevertheless, you believe that your affection would not be unreturned?”
“And yet, you really think your feelings would not be mutual?”
“I thought so once; I doubt now,—yet, in doubting, hope. But why do you alarm me with these questions? You, too, forebode that in this visit I may lose her forever?”
“I used to think that way; now I have my doubts—but even in doubting, I hold onto hope. But why are you scaring me with these questions? Do you also sense that during this visit, I might lose her for good?”
“If you fear that, tell her so, and perhaps her answer may dispel your fear.”
“If you’re worried about that, let her know, and maybe her response will ease your fear.”
“What! now, already, when she has scarcely known me a month. Might I not risk all if too premature?”
“What! Now, already, when she has hardly known me for a month. Shouldn't I be careful about risking everything if it’s too soon?”
“There is no almanac for love. With many women love is born the moment they know they are beloved. All wisdom tells us that a moment once gone is irrevocable. Were I in your place, I should feel that I approached a moment that I must not lose. I have said enough; now I shall rejoin Mrs. Ashleigh.”
“There’s no guidebook for love. For many women, love begins the moment they realize they are loved. All wisdom teaches us that a moment once passed is gone forever. If I were you, I would feel like I was nearing a moment I couldn’t afford to miss. I’ve said enough; now I’ll go back to Mrs. Ashleigh.”
“Stay—tell me first what Lady Haughton’s letter really contains to prompt the advice with which you so transport, and yet so daunt, me when you proffer it.”
“Wait—first tell me what Lady Haughton’s letter really says that makes you give me advice that excites me but also scares me when you offer it.”
“Not now; later, perhaps,—not now. If you wish to see Lilian alone, she is by the Old Monk’s Well; I saw her seated there as I passed that way to the house.”
“Not now; maybe later,—not now. If you want to see Lilian alone, she’s by the Old Monk’s Well; I saw her sitting there when I passed by on my way to the house.”
“One word more,—only one. Answer this question frankly, for it is one of honour. Do you still believe that my suit to her daughter would not be disapproved of by Mrs. Ashleigh?”
“One more word—just one. Please answer this question honestly, as it’s a matter of honor. Do you still think that Mrs. Ashleigh would not disapprove of my proposal to her daughter?”
“At this moment I am sure it would not; a week hence I might not give you the same answer.”
“At this moment, I’m sure it wouldn’t; a week from now, I might not give you the same answer.”
So she passed on with her quick but measured tread, back through the shady walk, on to the open lawn, till the last glimpse of her pale gray robe disappeared under the boughs of the cedar-tree. Then, with a start, I broke the irresolute, tremulous suspense in which I had vainly endeavoured to analyze my own mind, solve my own doubts, concentrate my own will, and went the opposite way, skirting the circle of that haunted ground,—as now, on one side its lofty terrace, the houses of the neighbouring city came full and close into view, divided from my fairy-land of life but by the trodden murmurous thoroughfare winding low beneath the ivied parapets; and as now, again, the world of men abruptly vanished behind the screening foliage of luxuriant June.
So she continued on with her quick but steady pace, back through the shaded path, onto the open lawn, until the last sight of her pale gray robe disappeared beneath the branches of the cedar tree. Then, with a jolt, I broke the hesitant, shaky tension in which I had unsuccessfully tried to analyze my thoughts, resolve my doubts, and focus my will, and I went the other way, skirting the edge of that haunted ground—where now, on one side, its high terrace, the buildings of the nearby city came into full view, separated from my fairy-tale life only by the worn, whispering road winding low beneath the ivy-covered walls; and as once more, the world of men suddenly vanished behind the dense foliage of lush June.
At last the enchanted glade opened out from the verdure, its borders fragrant with syringa and rose and woodbine; and there, by the gray memorial of the gone Gothic age, my eyes seemed to close their unquiet wanderings, resting spell-bound on that image which had become to me the incarnation of earth’s bloom and youth.
At last, the magical clearing emerged from the greenery, its edges fragrant with lilac, roses, and climbing vines; and there, by the gray remains of the past Gothic era, my eyes seemed to stop their restless searching, resting in awe on that figure, which had come to represent the beauty and vitality of the earth.
She stood amidst the Past, backed by the fragments of walls which man had raised to seclude him from human passion, locking, under those lids so downcast, the secret of the only knowledge I asked from the boundless Future.
She stood among the Past, supported by the remnants of walls built to keep him away from human emotions, hiding, behind those downcast eyes, the secret of the only knowledge I sought from the limitless Future.
Ah! what mockery there is in that grand word, the world’s fierce war-cry,—Freedom! Who has not known one period of life, and that so solemn that its shadows may rest over all life hereafter, when one human creature has over him a sovereignty more supreme and absolute than Orient servitude adores in the symbols of diadem and sceptre? What crest so haughty that has not bowed before a hand which could exalt or humble! What heart so dauntless that has not trembled to call forth the voice at whose sound open the gates of rapture or despair! That life alone is free which rules, and suffices for itself. That life we forfeit when we love!
Ah! What a joke there is in that grand word, the world's fierce battle cry—Freedom! Who hasn’t experienced a time in life so serious that its shadows may linger over everything that comes after, when one person holds a power more supreme and absolute than the servitude of the East worships in symbols like crowns and scepters? What crest is so proud that it hasn’t bowed to a hand that could elevate or degrade? What heart is so fearless that it hasn’t faltered to summon the voice that opens the gates to joy or despair? The only life that is truly free is the one that rules and is self-sufficient. That life is lost when we fall in love!
CHAPTER XVII.
How did I utter it? By what words did my heart make itself known? I remember not. All was as a dream that falls upon a restless, feverish night, and fades away as the eyes unclose on the peace of a cloudless heaven, on the bliss of a golden sun. A new morrow seemed indeed upon the earth when I woke from a life-long yesterday,—her dear hand in mine, her sweet face bowed upon my breast.
How did I say it? What words did my heart use to express itself? I can't remember. It was like a dream that comes during a restless, feverish night and disappears as the eyes open to the calm of a clear sky and the joy of a golden sun. A new day truly felt like it was beginning when I woke up from a life-long yesterday—her dear hand in mine, her sweet face resting on my chest.
And then there was that melodious silence in which there is no sound audible from without; yet within us there is heard a lulling celestial music, as if our whole being, grown harmonious with the universe, joined from its happy deeps in the hymn that unites the stars.
And then there was that beautiful silence where no sound was heard from outside; yet inside us, we could hear a calming celestial music, as if our entire being, in harmony with the universe, joined in from its joyful depths in the song that connects the stars.
In that silence our two hearts seemed to make each other understood, to be drawing nearer and nearer, blending by mysterious concord into the completeness of a solemn union, never henceforth to be rent asunder.
In that silence, our two hearts felt like they understood each other, drawing closer and closer, blending together in a mysterious harmony into the fullness of a serious union, never to be torn apart again.
At length I said softly: “And it was here on this spot that I first saw you,—here that I for the first time knew what power to change our world and to rule our future goes forth from the charm of a human face!”
At last, I said gently, “And it was right here that I first saw you—here that I realized for the first time the power to change our world and shape our future comes from the charm of a human face!”
Then Lilian asked me timidly, and without lifting her eyes, how I had so seen her, reminding me that I promised to tell her, and had never yet done so.
Then Lilian asked me shyly, without looking up, how I had seen her like that, reminding me that I promised to tell her, and I still hadn’t done it.
And then I told her of the strange impulse that had led me into the grounds, and by what chance my steps had been diverted down the path that wound to the glade; how suddenly her form had shone upon my eyes, gathering round itself the rose hues of the setting sun, and how wistfully those eyes had followed her own silent gaze into the distant heaven.
And then I told her about the strange urge that had drawn me into the grounds, and how I happened to take the path that led to the clearing; how suddenly her figure appeared before me, glowing with the pink tones of the setting sun, and how her eyes had longingly followed her own silent gaze into the far-off sky.
As I spoke, her hand pressed mine eagerly, convulsively, and, raising her face from my breast, she looked at me with an intent, anxious earnestness. That look!—twice before it had thrilled and perplexed me.
As I talked, her hand gripped mine tightly, almost shaking, and as she lifted her face from my chest, she looked at me with a focused, worried intensity. That look!—it had excited and confused me twice before.
“What is there in that look, oh, my Lilian, which tells me that there is something that startles you,—something you wish to confide, and yet shrink from explaining? See how, already, I study the fair book from which the seal has been lifted! but as yet you must aid me to construe its language.”
“What is it in that look, oh, my Lilian, that tells me something is surprising you—something you want to share, but hesitate to explain? See how I’m already trying to understand the beautiful book from which the seal has been removed! But for now, you need to help me understand its meaning.”
“If I shrink from explaining, it is only because I fear that I cannot explain so as to be understood or believed. But you have a right to know the secrets of a life which you would link to your own. Turn your face aside from me; a reproving look, an incredulous smile, chill—oh, you cannot guess how they chill me, when I would approach that which to me is so serious and so solemnly strange.”
“If I hesitate to explain, it’s only because I worry that I won’t be able to explain in a way that you can understand or believe. But you have the right to know the secrets of a life that you’re trying to connect with yours. Please turn away from me; your disapproving glance, your doubtful smile, they both freeze me—oh, you can’t imagine how they freeze me when I want to talk about something that is so serious and so profoundly strange to me.”
I turned my face away, and her voice grew firmer as, after a brief pause, she resumed,—
I turned my face away, and her voice grew stronger as, after a brief pause, she continued,—
“As far back as I can remember in my infancy, there have been moments when there seems to fall a soft hazy veil between my sight and the things around it, thickening and deepening till it has the likeness of one of those white fleecy clouds which gather on the verge of the horizon when the air is yet still, but the winds are about to rise; and then this vapour or veil will suddenly open, as clouds open, and let in the blue sky.”
“As far back as I can remember from my childhood, there have been times when a soft, hazy veil seems to settle between my eyes and the things around me, thickening and deepening until it looks like one of those fluffy white clouds that gather on the horizon when the air is calm, but the winds are about to pick up; and then this mist or veil will suddenly part, like clouds do, revealing the blue sky.”
“Go on,” I said gently, for here she came to a stop. She continued, speaking somewhat more hurriedly,—
“Go ahead,” I said softly, as she came to a stop. She kept going, speaking a bit more quickly,—
“Then, in that opening, strange appearances present them selves to me, as in a vision. In my childhood these were chiefly landscapes of wonderful beauty. I could but faintly describe them then; I could not attempt to describe them now, for they are almost gone from my memory. My dear mother chid me for telling her what I saw, so I did not impress it on my mind by repeating it. As I grew up, this kind of vision—if I may so call it—became much less frequent, or much less distinct; I still saw the soft veil fall, the pale cloud form and open, but often what may then have appeared was entirely forgotten when I recovered myself, waking as from a sleep. Sometimes, however, the recollection would be vivid and complete; sometimes I saw the face of my lost father; sometimes I heard his very voice, as I had seen and heard him in my early childhood, when he would let me rest for hours beside him as he mused or studied, happy to be so quietly near him, for I loved him, oh, so dearly! and I remember him so distinctly, though I was only in my sixth year when he died. Much more recently—indeed, within the last few months—the images of things to come are reflected on the space that I gaze into as clearly as in a glass. Thus, for weeks before I came hither, or knew that such a place existed, I saw distinctly the old House, yon trees, this sward, this moss-grown Gothic fount; and, with the sight, an impression was conveyed to me that in the scene before me my old childlike life would pass into some solemn change. So that when I came here, and recognized the picture in my vision, I took an affection for the spot,—an affection not without awe, a powerful, perplexing interest, as one who feels under the influence of a fate of which a prophetic glimpse has been vouchsafed. And in that evening, when you first saw me, seated here—”
“Then, in that opening, strange things appear to me, like a vision. In my childhood, these were mostly beautiful landscapes. I could only faintly describe them then; I can't even try to describe them now because they are almost gone from my memory. My dear mother scolded me for telling her what I saw, so I didn’t impress it in my mind by repeating it. As I grew up, this kind of vision—if I can call it that—became much less frequent or much less clear; I still saw the soft veil fall, the pale cloud form and open, but often what appeared then was completely forgotten when I came back to myself, waking as if from a sleep. Sometimes, though, the memory would be vivid and complete; sometimes I saw the face of my lost father; sometimes I heard his voice, just as I had seen and heard him in my early childhood, when he would let me rest for hours beside him while he thought or studied, happy to be so quietly near him, for I loved him so dearly! I remember him so clearly, even though I was only six years old when he died. Much more recently—indeed, in the last few months—the images of things to come have reflected in the space I gaze into as clearly as in a mirror. So, for weeks before I came here, or knew that such a place existed, I saw clearly the old House, those trees, this grass, this moss-covered Gothic fountain; and with the sight, I got the impression that in the scene before me, my old childhood would go through some serious change. So when I came here and recognized the picture from my vision, I felt a fondness for the spot—an affection mixed with awe, a strong, confusing interest, like someone who feels the weight of a fate they have had a prophetic glimpse of. And on that evening when you first saw me, seated here—”
“Yes, Lilian, on that evening—”
“Yes, Lilian, that evening—”
“I saw you also, but in my vision—yonder, far in the deeps of space,—and—and my heart was stirred as it had never been before; and near where your image grew out from the cloud I saw my father’s face, and I heard his voice, not in my ear, but as in my heart, whispering—”
“I saw you too, but in my vision—over there, far in the depths of space—and—my heart was moved like never before; and close to where your image emerged from the cloud, I saw my father’s face, and I heard his voice, not in my ear, but deep in my heart, whispering—”
“Yes, Lilian—whispering—what?”
“Yes, Lilian—what is it?”
“These words,—only these,—‘Ye will need one another.’ But then, suddenly, between my upward eyes and the two forms they had beheld, there rose from the earth, obscuring the skies, a vague, dusky vapour, undulous, and coiling like a vast serpent,—nothing, indeed, of its shape and figure definite, but of its face one abrupt glare; a flash from two dread luminous eyes, and a young head, like the Medusa’s, changing, more rapidly than I could have drawn breath, into a grinning skull. Then my terror made me bow my head, and when I raised it again, all that I had seen was vanished. But the terror still remained, even when I felt my mother’s arm round me and heard her voice. And then, when I entered the house, and sat down again alone, the recollection of what I had seen—those eyes, that face, that skull—grew on me stronger and stronger till I fainted, and remember no more, until my eyes, opening, saw you by my side, and in my wonder there was not terror. No, a sense of joy, protection, hope, yet still shadowed by a kind of fear or awe, in recognizing the countenance which had gleamed on me from the skies before the dark vapour had risen, and while my father’s voice had murmured, ‘Ye will need one another.’ And now—and now—will you love me less that you know a secret in my being which I have told to no other,—cannot construe to myself? Only—only, at least, do not mock me; do not disbelieve me! Nay, turn from me no longer now: now I ask to meet your eyes. Now, before our hands can join again, tell me that you do not despise me as untruthful, do not pity me as insane.”
“These words—only these—‘You will need each other.’ But then, suddenly, between my upturned gaze and the two figures I had seen, a vague, dark mist rose from the ground, blocking out the sky. It was shifting and curling like a giant serpent—nothing about its shape or form was clear, but its face was marked by a sudden glare; a flash from two terrifying bright eyes, and a young head, like Medusa’s, changing faster than I could catch my breath, transforming into a grinning skull. My fear made me lower my head, and when I lifted it again, everything I had seen had disappeared. Yet the fear lingered, even as I felt my mother’s arm around me and heard her voice. Later, when I entered the house and sat alone, the memory of what I had seen—those eyes, that face, that skull—intensified until I fainted, and remembered nothing more until my eyes opened to see you beside me, and in my wonder, there was no fear. No, there was a sense of joy, safety, and hope, yet still clouded by a sort of fear or awe as I recognized the face that had shone on me from the sky before the dark mist had risen, while my father’s voice murmured, ‘You will need each other.’ And now—and now—will you love me less because you know a secret about me that I haven’t shared with anyone else—I can’t even understand it myself? Just—please, don’t mock me; don’t disbelieve me! No, don’t turn away from me now: now I want to meet your gaze. Now, before our hands can join again, tell me that you don’t see me as dishonest, don’t pity me as insane.”
“Hush, hush!” I said, drawing her to my breast. “Of all you tell me we will talk hereafter. The scales of our science have no weights fine enough for the gossamer threads of a maiden’s pure fancies. Enough for me—for us both—if out from all such illusions start one truth, told to you, lovely child, from the heavens; told to me, ruder man, on the earth; repeated by each pulse of this heart that woos you to hear and to trust,—now and henceforth through life unto death, ‘Each has need of the other,’—I of you, I of you! my Lilian! my Lilian!”
“Hush, hush!” I said, pulling her close. “We can talk about everything else later. The tools of our science aren't delicate enough to measure the fragile dreams of a girl's pure thoughts. It’s enough for me—for both of us—if from all these illusions comes just one truth, revealed to you, beautiful child, from the heavens; revealed to me, a rough man, from the earth; echoed with every beat of this heart that urges you to listen and to trust—now and forever, through life until death, ‘Each needs the other’—I need you, I need you! my Lilian! my Lilian!”
CHAPTER XVIII.
In spite of the previous assurance of Mrs. Poyntz, it was not without an uneasy apprehension that I approached the cedar-tree, under which Mrs. Ashleigh still sat, her friend beside her. I looked on the fair creature whose arm was linked in mine. So young, so singularly lovely, and with all the gifts of birth and fortune which bend avarice and ambition the more submissively to youth and beauty, I felt as if I had wronged what a parent might justly deem her natural lot.
Despite Mrs. Poyntz's earlier reassurance, I felt a nervous apprehension as I approached the cedar tree, where Mrs. Ashleigh was still sitting with her friend beside her. I looked at the beautiful young woman whose arm was linked with mine. So youthful, so exceptionally lovely, and possessing all the advantages of lineage and wealth that make greed and ambition more submissive to youth and beauty, I felt like I had wronged what any parent would justly consider her rightful destiny.
“Oh, if your mother should disapprove!” said I, falteringly. Lilian leaned on my arm less lightly. “If I had thought so,” she said with her soft blush, “should I be thus by your side?”
“Oh, what if your mother disapproves?” I said hesitantly. Lilian leaned on my arm more heavily. “If I had thought that,” she said, her cheeks flushing softly, “would I be here by your side?”
So we passed under the boughs of the dark tree, and Lilian left me and kissed Mrs. Ashleigh’s cheek; then, seating herself on the turf, laid her head on her mother’s lap. I looked on the Queen of the Hill, whose keen eye shot over me. I thought there was a momentary expression of pain or displeasure on her countenance; but it passed. Still there seemed to me something of irony, as well as of triumph or congratulation, in the half-smile with which she quitted her seat, and in the tone with which she whispered, as she glided by me to the open sward, “So, then, it is settled.”
So we walked under the dark tree's branches, and Lilian left me to kiss Mrs. Ashleigh on the cheek. Then, she sat down on the grass and rested her head on her mother’s lap. I looked at the Queen of the Hill, whose sharp gaze was directed at me. For a moment, I thought I saw a hint of pain or disapproval on her face, but it quickly disappeared. Still, I sensed a mix of irony, triumph, and congratulations in the half-smile she gave as she stood up and in the way she whispered to me while moving toward the open grass, “So, it's settled then.”
She walked lightly and quickly down the lawn. When she was out of sight I breathed more freely. I took the seat which she had left, by Mrs. Ashleigh’s side, and said, “A little while ago I spoke of myself as a man without kindred, without home, and now I come to you and ask for both.”
She walked swiftly and lightly across the lawn. Once she was out of sight, I felt myself relax. I took the seat she had vacated next to Mrs. Ashleigh and said, “Not long ago, I referred to myself as a man without family, without a home, and now I come to you asking for both.”
Mrs. Ashleigh looked at me benignly, then raised her daughter’s face from her lap, and whispered, “Lilian;” and Lilian’s lips moved, but I did not hear her answer. Her mother did. She took Lilian’s hand, simply placed it in mine, and said, “As she chooses, I choose; whom she loves, I love.”
Mrs. Ashleigh looked at me kindly, then lifted her daughter’s face from her lap and whispered, “Lilian;” Lilian’s lips moved, but I didn’t hear what she said. Her mother did. She took Lilian’s hand, placed it in mine, and said, “As she chooses, I choose; whom she loves, I love.”
CHAPTER XIX.
From that evening till the day Mrs. Ashleigh and Lilian went on the dreaded visit, I was always at their house, when my avocations allowed me to steal to it; and during those few days, the happiest I had ever known, it seemed to me that years could not have more deepened my intimacy with Lilian’s exquisite nature, made me more reverential of its purity, or more enamoured of its sweetness. I could detect in her but one fault, and I rebuked myself for believing that it was a fault. We see many who neglect the minor duties of life, who lack watchful forethought and considerate care for others, and we recognize the cause of this failing in levity or egotism. Certainly, neither of those tendencies of character could be ascribed to Lilian. Yet still in daily trifles there was something of that neglect, some lack of that care and forethought. She loved her mother with fondness and devotion, yet it never occurred to her to aid in those petty household cares in which her mother centred so much of habitual interest. She was full of tenderness and pity to all want and suffering, yet many a young lady on the Hill was more actively beneficent,—visiting the poor in their sickness, or instructing their children in the Infant Schools. I was persuaded that her love for me was deep and truthful; it was clearly void of all ambition; doubtless she would have borne, unflinching and contented, whatever the world considers to be a sacrifice and privation,—yet I should never have expected her to take her share in the troubles of ordinary life. I could never have applied to her the homely but significant name of helpmate. I reproach myself while I write for noticing such defect—if defect it were—in what may be called the practical routine of our positive, trivial, human existence. No doubt it was this that had caused Mrs. Poyntz’s harsh judgment against the wisdom of my choice. But such chiller shade upon Lilian’s charming nature was reflected from no inert, unamiable self-love. It was but the consequence of that self-absorption which the habit of revery had fostered. I cautiously abstained from all allusion to those visionary deceptions, which she had confided to me as the truthful impressions of spirit, if not of sense. To me any approach to what I termed “superstition” was displeasing; any indulgence of fantasies not within the measured and beaten track of healthful imagination more than displeased me in her,—it alarmed. I would not by a word encourage her in persuasions which I felt it would be at present premature to reason against, and cruel indeed to ridicule. I was convinced that of themselves these mists round her native intelligence, engendered by a solitary and musing childhood, would subside in the fuller daylight of wedded life. She seemed pained when she saw how resolutely I shunned a subject dear to her thoughts. She made one or two timid attempts to renew it, but my grave looks sufficed to check her. Once or twice indeed, on such occasions, she would turn away and leave me, but she soon came back; that gentle heart could not bear one unkindlier shade between itself and what it loved. It was agreed that our engagement should be, for the present, confided only to Mrs. Poyntz. When Mrs. Ashleigh and Lilian returned, which would be in a few weeks at furthest, it should be proclaimed; and our marriage could take place in the autumn, when I should be most free for a brief holiday from professional toils.
From that evening until the day Mrs. Ashleigh and Lilian went on the dreaded visit, I was always at their house whenever I could sneak away from my work. During those few days, the happiest I had ever experienced, it felt like nothing could deepen my bond with Lilian’s beautiful nature, make me more respectful of its purity, or more captivated by its sweetness. I could only see one flaw in her, and I scolded myself for thinking it was a flaw. We often notice people who overlook the small responsibilities of life, lacking the careful thought and consideration for others, and we attribute this issue to carelessness or self-absorption. Certainly, neither of these traits could be linked to Lilian. Still, in daily matters, there was a hint of that neglect, a lack of that care and foresight. She loved her mother deeply, yet it never crossed her mind to help with the little household tasks that consumed so much of her mother’s attention. She was filled with kindness and compassion for all in need, yet many young women on the Hill were more actively engaged—visiting the sick or teaching their children in the local schools. I was convinced her love for me was genuine and deep; it was clearly free of ambition. She would have endured, unflinching and satisfied, whatever the world views as sacrifice and hardship; still, I could never have expected her to share in the struggles of everyday life. I could never have called her a partner in the traditional sense. I regret noting this so-called flaw—if it was indeed a flaw—in what might be termed the practical routine of our simple, everyday existence. No doubt this was what led Mrs. Poyntz to judge my choice harshly. But that cooler shadow on Lilian’s delightful nature didn’t stem from any cold self-love. It was just the result of the self-absorption encouraged by her habit of daydreaming. I carefully avoided mentioning the fanciful illusions she had shared with me, which she believed to be truthful insights of the spirit, if not of the senses. To me, any hint of what I called “superstition” was unappealing; indulging in fantasies that strayed from the healthy realm of imagination not only bothered me in her but also frightened me. I wouldn’t encourage her in beliefs that I felt were premature to challenge and certainly unkind to mock. I was sure that these clouds hanging over her natural intelligence, formed by a lonely and introspective childhood, would dissipate in the brighter light of married life. She seemed hurt when she noticed how firmly I avoided a topic that was dear to her. She made a couple of hesitant attempts to bring it up again, but my serious demeanor was enough to stop her. A few times during those moments, she would turn away and leave me, but she always returned; that gentle heart couldn’t bear any unkindness between itself and what it cherished. We agreed that our engagement would be kept secret for now, only shared with Mrs. Poyntz. When Mrs. Ashleigh and Lilian came back, likely in a few weeks at most, it would be announced, and our wedding could happen in the autumn when I would have more time for a short break from work.
So we parted-as lovers part. I felt none of those jealous fears which, before we were affianced, had made me tremble at the thought of separation, and had conjured up irresistible rivals. But it was with a settled, heavy gloom that I saw her depart. From earth was gone a glory; from life a blessing.
So we parted like lovers do. I didn’t feel any of those jealous fears that had made me anxious about the thought of separation before we got engaged, and I didn’t envision any irresistible rivals. But I watched her leave with a deep, heavy sadness. A glory had vanished from my life; a blessing was gone.
CHAPTER XX.
During the busy years of my professional career, I had snatched leisure for some professional treatises, which had made more or less sensation, and one of them, entitled “The Vital Principle; its Waste and Supply,” had gained a wide circulation among the general public. This last treatise contained the results of certain experiments, then new in chemistry, which were adduced in support of a theory I entertained as to the re-invigoration of the human system by principles similar to those which Liebig has applied to the replenishment of an exhausted soil,—namely, the giving back to the frame those essentials to its nutrition, which it has lost by the action or accident of time; or supplying that special pabulum or energy in which the individual organism is constitutionally deficient; and neutralizing or counterbalancing that in which it super-abounds,—a theory upon which some eminent physicians have more recently improved with signal success. But on these essays, slight and suggestive, rather than dogmatic, I set no value. I had been for the last two years engaged on a work of much wider range, endeared to me by a far bolder ambition,—a work upon which I fondly hoped to found an enduring reputation as a severe and original physiologist. It was an Inquiry into Organic Life, similar in comprehensiveness of survey to that by which the illustrious Muller, of Berlin, has enriched the science of our age; however inferior, alas! to that august combination of thought and learning in the judgment which checks presumption, and the genius which adorns speculation. But at that day I was carried away by the ardour of composition, and I admired my performance because I loved my labour. This work had been entirely laid aside for the last agitated month; now that Lilian was gone, I resumed it earnestly, as the sole occupation that had power and charm enough to rouse me from the aching sense of void and loss.
During the hectic years of my career, I took some time for leisure to work on a few professional papers that created quite a buzz, one of which, called “The Vital Principle; its Waste and Supply,” became popular among the public. This particular paper included the findings from new experiments in chemistry that supported my theory about rejuvenating the human body using principles similar to those Liebig applied to restore depleted soil—essentially, replenishing the nutrients that the body loses over time and providing the specific energy that an individual needs, while also addressing any excesses they might have. Some respected doctors have recently built upon this theory with great success. However, I didn’t place much value on these essays, as they were more suggestive than definitive. For the past two years, I had been working on a much more ambitious project, one that I hoped would establish my reputation as a serious and original physiologist. It was an Inquiry into Organic Life, similar in scope to the work that the renowned Muller of Berlin has contributed to our scientific understanding, although I acknowledged it was sadly inferior to his impressive blend of insight and knowledge, which offers a necessary check against arrogance while enhancing speculation. At that time, I was swept away by my passion for writing and admired my work simply because I loved what I did. However, this project had been completely set aside during the chaotic last month; now that Lilian was gone, I picked it back up earnestly, as it was the only thing that could draw me away from the painful emptiness and loss I felt.
The very night of the day she went, I reopened my manuscript. I had left off at the commencement of a chapter Upon Knowledge as derived from our Senses. As my convictions on this head were founded on the well-known arguments of Locke and Condillac against innate ideas, and on the reasonings by which Hume has resolved the combination of sensations into a general idea to an impulse arising merely out of habit, so I set myself to oppose, as a dangerous concession to the sentimentalities or mysticism of a pseudo-philosophy, the doctrine favoured by most of our recent physiologists, and of which some of the most eminent of German metaphysicians have accepted the substance, though refining into a subtlety its positive form,—I mean the doctrine which Muller himself has expressed in these words:—
The same night she left, I reopened my manuscript. I had stopped at the beginning of a chapter titled "Knowledge as Derived from Our Senses." My beliefs on this topic were based on the well-known arguments from Locke and Condillac against innate ideas, and on Hume's reasoning that combined sensations into a general idea through an impulse that comes from habit. Therefore, I set out to challenge the idea, which I considered a dangerous concession to the sentimentalism or mysticism of a pseudo-philosophy, that many of our recent physiologists support, and which some of the most prominent German metaphysicians have accepted in essence, albeit with a more nuanced and subtle interpretation. I’m referring to the concept expressed by Muller himself in these words:—
“That innate ideas may exist cannot in the slightest degree be denied: it is, indeed, a fact. All the ideas of animals, which are induced by instinct, are innate and immediate: something presented to the mind, a desire to attain which is at the same time given. The new-born lamb and foal have such innate ideas, which lead them to follow their mother and suck the teats. Is it not in some measure the same with the intellectual ideas of man?” (1)
“It cannot be denied that innate ideas can exist; this is, in fact, a reality. All the ideas that animals have, driven by instinct, are innate and immediate: something comes to mind, along with a desire to obtain it. Newborn lambs and foals have these innate ideas, which cause them to follow their mothers and suckle. Isn't it somewhat similar with the intellectual ideas of humans?” (1)
To this question I answered with an indignant “No!” A “Yes” would have shaken my creed of materialism to the dust. I wrote on rapidly, warmly. I defined the properties and meted the limits of natural laws, which I would not admit that a Deity himself could alter. I clamped and soldered dogma to dogma in the links of my tinkered logic, till out from my page, to my own complacent eye, grew Intellectual Man, as the pure formation of his material senses; mind, or what is called soul, born from and nurtured by them alone; through them to act, and to perish with the machine they moved. Strange, that at the very time my love for Lilian might have taught me that there are mysteries in the core of the feelings which my analysis of ideas could not solve, I should so stubbornly have opposed as unreal all that could be referred to the spiritual! Strange, that at the very time when the thought that I might lose from this life the being I had known scarce a month had just before so appalled me, I should thus complacently sit down to prove that, according to the laws of the nature which my passion obeyed, I must lose for eternity the blessing I now hoped I had won to my life! But how distinctly dissimilar is man in his conduct from man in his systems! See the poet reclined under forest boughs, conning odes to his mistress; follow him out into the world; no mistress ever lived for him there!(2) See the hard man of science, so austere in his passionless problems; follow him now where the brain rests from its toil, where the heart finds its Sabbath—what child is so tender, so yielding, and soft?
To this question, I replied with an indignant “No!” A “Yes” would have shattered my belief in materialism to pieces. I wrote quickly and passionately. I defined the properties and set the limits of natural laws, which I refused to believe even a Deity could change. I linked one dogma to another with the pieces of my shaky logic, until out from my page, to my own satisfied eye, emerged Intellectual Man, purely formed from his material senses; the mind, or what’s called the soul, was born and sustained solely by them; he acted through them and would perish with the machine that drove him. It’s strange that at the very moment my love for Lilian could have taught me that there are mysteries at the core of feelings that my logical analysis couldn’t decode, I stubbornly dismissed everything related to the spiritual as unreal! It’s strange that just when the thought of possibly losing the person I had known for barely a month had so deeply unsettled me, I could sit down so confidently to prove that, according to the laws of nature that my passion followed, I must lose forever the blessing I now hoped I had gained in my life! But how clearly different is how a person acts from their beliefs! Look at the poet lounging under the trees, composing odes to his lover; take him out into the world, and no lover has ever existed for him there! Watch the tough man of science, so serious in his passionless problems; follow him to where the brain takes a break, where the heart finds its rest—what child is so gentle, so yielding, and soft?
But I had proved to my own satisfaction that poet and sage are dust, and no more, when the pulse ceases to beat. And on that consolatory conclusion my pen stopped.
But I had convinced myself that poets and wise people turn to dust, and nothing more, when life ends. And on that comforting note, I put down my pen.
Suddenly, beside me I distinctly heard a sigh,—a compassionate, mournful sigh. The sound was unmistakable. I started from my seat, looked round, amazed to discover no one,—no living thing! The windows were closed, the night was still. That sigh was not the wail of the wind. But there, in the darker angle of the room, what was that? A silvery whiteness, vaguely shaped as a human form, receding, fading, gone! Why, I know not—for no face was visible, no form, if form it were, more distinct than the colourless outline,—why, I know not, but I cried aloud, “Lilian! Lilian!” My voice came strangely back to my own ear; I paused, then smiled and blushed at my folly. “So I, too, have learned what is superstition,” I muttered to myself. “And here is an anecdote at my own expense (as Muller frankly tells us anecdotes of the illusions which would haunt his eyes, shut or open),—an anecdote I may quote when I come to my chapter on the Cheats of the Senses and Spectral Phantasms.” I went on with my book, and wrote till the lights waned in the gray of the dawn. And I said then, in the triumph of my pride, as I laid myself down to rest, “I have written that which allots with precision man’s place in the region of nature; written that which will found a school, form disciples; and race after race of those who cultivate truth through pure reason shall accept my bases if they enlarge my building.” And again I heard the sigh, but this time it caused no surprise. “Certainly,” I murmured, “a very strange thing is the nervous system!” So I turned on my pillow, and, wearied out, fell asleep.
Suddenly, I clearly heard a sigh next to me—a compassionate, mournful sigh. The sound was unmistakable. I jumped up from my seat, looking around, surprised to find no one—no living being! The windows were shut, and the night was still. That sigh wasn’t the wind howling. But there, in the darker corner of the room, what was that? A silvery whiteness, vaguely shaped like a human, receding, fading, gone! I don’t know why—since no face was visible, and no form, if it could even be called that, was more distinct than the colorless outline—I don’t know why, but I cried out, “Lilian! Lilian!” My voice echoed oddly in my own ears; I paused, then smiled and blushed at my silliness. “So I, too, have fallen for superstition,” I muttered to myself. “And here’s a story at my own expense (just as Muller honestly shares stories of the illusions that haunted his eyes, whether closed or open)—a story I can cite when I get to my chapter on the Tricks of the Senses and Spectral Phantoms.” I continued with my book and wrote until the lights faded in the gray of dawn. And then I said, in a moment of pride, as I lay down to rest, “I have written something that precisely assigns man his place in the realm of nature; I have written something that will establish a school, create disciples; and generation after generation of those who seek truth through pure reason will accept my foundations as they expand my structure.” And again, I heard the sigh, but this time it didn’t surprise me. “Certainly,” I murmured, “the nervous system is quite peculiar!” So I turned on my pillow and, utterly exhausted, fell asleep.
(1) Muller’s “Elements of Physiology,” vol. ii. p. 134. Translated by Dr. Baley.
(1) Muller's "Elements of Physiology," vol. II, p. 134. Translated by Dr. Baley.
(2) Cowley, who wrote so elaborate a series of amatory poems, is said “never to have been in love but once, and then he never had resolution to tell his passion.”—Johnson’s “Lives of the Poets:” COWLEY.
(2) Cowley, who wrote such an elaborate set of love poems, is said “to have been in love only once, and he never had the courage to express his feelings.” —Johnson’s “Lives of the Poets:” COWLEY.
CHAPTER XXI.
The next day, the last of the visiting patients to whom my forenoons were devoted had just quitted me, when I was summoned in haste to attend the steward of a Sir Philip Derval not residing at his family seat, which was about five miles from L——. It was rarely indeed that persons so far from the town, when of no higher rank than this applicant, asked my services.
The next day, the last of the patients I had been seeing in the mornings had just left when I was urgently called to attend to the steward of Sir Philip Derval, who wasn’t at his family estate, located about five miles from L——. It was quite rare for people so far from town, especially someone of this applicant's rank, to request my services.
But it was my principle to go wherever I was summoned; my profession was not gain, it was healing, to which gain was the incident, not the essential. This case the messenger reported as urgent. I went on horseback, and rode fast; but swiftly as I cantered through the village that skirted the approach to Sir Philip Derval’s park, the evident care bestowed on the accommodation of the cottagers forcibly struck me. I felt that I was on the lands of a rich, intelligent, and beneficent proprietor. Entering the park, and passing before the manor-house, the contrast between the neglect and the decay of the absentee’s stately Hall and the smiling homes of his villagers was disconsolately mournful.
But it was my principle to go wherever I was called; my profession was not about making money, it was about healing, with profit being just a side effect, not the main point. The messenger said this case was urgent. I rode on horseback and went fast; but as I cantered through the village near Sir Philip Derval’s park, the obvious care put into the cottages struck me hard. I realized I was on the land of a wealthy, educated, and generous owner. As I entered the park and passed by the manor house, the contrast between the neglect and decay of the absentee owner’s grand Hall and the cheerful homes of his villagers was sadly poignant.
An imposing pile, built apparently by Vanbrugh, with decorated pilasters, pompous portico, and grand perron (or double flight of stairs to the entrance), enriched with urns and statues, but discoloured, mildewed, chipped, half-hidden with unpruned creepers and ivy. Most of the windows were closed with shutters, decaying for want of paint; in some of the casements the panes were broken; the peacock perched on the shattered balustrade, that fenced a garden overgrown with weeds. The sun glared hotly on the place, and made its ruinous condition still more painfully apparent. I was glad when a winding in the park-road shut the house from my sight. Suddenly I emerged through a copse of ancient yew-trees, and before me there gleamed, in abrupt whiteness, a building evidently designed for the family mausoleum, classical in its outline, with the blind iron door niched into stone walls of massive thickness, and surrounded by a funereal garden of roses and evergreens, fenced with an iron rail, party-gilt.
An impressive building, apparently designed by Vanbrugh, featured decorative pilasters, a grand portico, and an imposing double staircase leading to the entrance, adorned with urns and statues. However, it was discolored, mildewed, chipped, and partly hidden by overgrown creepers and ivy. Most of the windows were shut with shutters, decaying from lack of paint; in some of the frames, the glass was broken. A peacock was perched on the crumbling balustrade that surrounded a garden choked with weeds. The sun beat down hard on the place, highlighting its ruined state even more painfully. I was relieved when a bend in the park road blocked the house from my view. Suddenly, I came out from a thicket of ancient yew trees, and in front of me was a stark white building clearly meant to serve as the family mausoleum. It had classical features, with a blind iron door set into thick stone walls, surrounded by a somber garden of roses and evergreens, enclosed by a partly gilded iron railing.
The suddenness with which this House of the Dead came upon me heightened almost into pain, if not into awe, the dismal impression which the aspect of the deserted home in its neighbourhood had made. I spurred my horse, and soon arrived at the door of my patient, who lived in a fair brick house at the other extremity of the park.
The abruptness of this House of the Dead hit me almost like a painful shock, intensifying the gloomy feelings stirred up by the sight of the empty home nearby. I urged my horse on, and soon reached the door of my patient, who lived in a nice brick house at the far end of the park.
I found my patient, a man somewhat advanced in years, but of a robust conformation, in bed: he had been seized with a fit, which was supposed to be apoplectic, a few hours before; but was already sensible, and out of immediate danger. After I had prescribed a few simple remedies, I took aside the patient’s wife, and went with her to the parlour below stairs, to make some inquiry about her husband’s ordinary regimen and habits of life. These seemed sufficiently regular; I could discover no apparent cause for the attack, which presented symptoms not familiar to my experience. “Has your husband ever had such fits before?”
I found my patient, a man a bit older but still in good shape, in bed: he had experienced a fit, thought to be a stroke, a few hours earlier; however, he was already alert and out of immediate danger. After I prescribed a few basic remedies, I called the patient’s wife aside and went with her to the living room downstairs to ask about her husband’s usual routine and lifestyle habits. They seemed pretty regular; I couldn’t find any obvious reason for the attack, which showed symptoms I wasn’t used to. “Has your husband ever had episodes like this before?”
“Never!”
"Not a chance!"
“Had he experienced any sudden emotion? Had he heard any unexpected news; or had anything happened to put him out?”
“Had he felt any sudden emotion? Had he received any shocking news; or had something happened to throw him off?”
The woman looked much disturbed at these inquiries. I pressed them more urgently. At last she burst into tears, and clasping my hand, said, “Oh, doctor, I ought to tell you—I sent for you on purpose—yet I fear you will not believe me: my good man has seen a ghost!”
The woman looked really upset by these questions. I pushed her for more details. Finally, she started crying and grabbed my hand, saying, “Oh, doctor, I called for you on purpose—but I worry you won’t believe me: my husband saw a ghost!”
“A ghost!” said I, repressing a smile. “Well, tell me all, that I may prevent the ghost coming again.”
“A ghost!” I said, holding back a smile. “Well, tell me everything, so I can stop the ghost from coming back.”
The woman’s story was prolix. Its substance was this. Her husband, habitually an early riser, had left his bed that morning still earlier than usual, to give directions about some cattle that were to be sent for sale to a neighbouring fair. An hour afterwards he had been found by a shepherd, near the mausoleum, apparently lifeless. On being removed to his own house, he had recovered speech, and bidding all except his wife leave the room, he then told her that on walking across the park towards the cattle-sheds, he had seen what appeared to him at first a pale light by the iron door of the mausoleum. On approaching nearer, this light changed into the distinct and visible form of his master, Sir Philip Derval, who was then abroad,—supposed to be in the East, where he had resided for many years. The impression on the steward’s mind was so strong, that he called out, “Oh, Sir Philip!” when looking still more intently, he perceived that the face was that of a corpse. As he continued to gaze, the apparition seemed gradually to recede, as if vanishing into the sepulchre itself. He knew no more; he became unconscious. It was the excess of the poor woman’s alarm, on hearing this strange tale, that made her resolve to send for me instead of the parish apothecary. She fancied so astounding a cause for her husband’s seizure could only be properly dealt with by some medical man reputed to have more than ordinary learning; and the steward himself objected to the apothecary in the immediate neighbourhood, as more likely to annoy him by gossip than a physician from a comparative distance.
The woman’s story was long-winded. Here’s what happened. Her husband, who usually woke up early, got out of bed even earlier that morning to give instructions about some cattle that were being sent to a nearby fair. An hour later, a shepherd found him near the mausoleum, seemingly lifeless. Once taken back to their home, he regained the ability to speak and, after asking everyone but his wife to leave the room, told her that while walking across the park towards the cattle-sheds, he had seen what looked like a pale light near the iron door of the mausoleum. When he approached, the light transformed into the clear and visible figure of his master, Sir Philip Derval, who was abroad—thought to be in the East, where he had lived for many years. The image left such a strong impression on the steward that he exclaimed, “Oh, Sir Philip!” But as he stared more closely, he realized the face belonged to a corpse. As he continued to look, the apparition seemed to gradually fade away, as if disappearing into the tomb itself. He remembered nothing else; he lost consciousness. The poor woman was so alarmed by her husband’s strange experience that she decided to call me instead of the local apothecary. She believed such an astonishing cause for her husband’s condition could only be addressed by a doctor who had more advanced knowledge, and the steward himself preferred not to have the nearby apothecary involved, as he thought he would be more likely to spread gossip than a physician from farther away.
I took care not to lose the confidence of the good wife by parading too quickly my disbelief in the phantom her husband declared that he had seen; but as the story itself seemed at once to decide the nature of the fit to be epileptic, I began to tell her of similar delusions which, in my experience, had occurred to those subjected to epilepsy, and finally soothed her into the conviction that the apparition was clearly reducible to natural causes. Afterwards, I led her on to talk about Sir Philip Derval, less from any curiosity I felt about the absent proprietor than from a desire to re-familiarize her own mind to his image as a living man. The steward had been in the service of Sir Philip’s father, and had known Sir Philip himself from a child. He was warmly attached to his master, whom the old woman described as a man of rare benevolence and great eccentricity, which last she imputed to his studious habits. He had succeeded to the title and estates as a minor. For the first few years after attaining his majority, he had mixed much in the world. When at Derval Court his house had been filled with gay companions, and was the scene of lavish hospitality; but the estate was not in proportion to the grandeur of the mansion, still less to the expenditure of the owner. He had become greatly embarrassed; and some love disappointment (so it was rumoured) occurring simultaneously with his pecuniary difficulties, he had suddenly changed his way of life, shut himself up from his old friends, lived in seclusion, taking to books and scientific pursuits, and as the old woman said vaguely and expressively, “to odd ways.” He had gradually by an economy that, towards himself, was penurious, but which did not preclude much judicious generosity to others, cleared off his debts; and, once more rich, he had suddenly quitted the country, and taken to a life of travel. He was now about forty-eight years old, and had been eighteen years abroad. He wrote frequently to his steward, giving him minute and thoughtful instructions in regard to the employment, comforts, and homes of the peasantry, but peremptorily ordering him to spend no money on the grounds and mansion, stating as a reason why the latter might be allowed to fall into decay, his intention to pull it down whenever he returned to England.
I was careful not to lose the good wife’s trust by too quickly expressing my disbelief in the ghost her husband claimed to have seen; however, since the story seemed to point to an epileptic fit, I began to share examples of similar delusions I had encountered in people with epilepsy, eventually reassuring her that the apparition could be explained by natural causes. Later, I encouraged her to talk about Sir Philip Derval, not out of any real curiosity about the absent owner but to help her reconnect with his image as a living person. The steward had served Sir Philip’s father and had known Sir Philip since he was a child. He was very fond of his master, whom the old woman portrayed as a man of great kindness and notable eccentricity, which she attributed to his studious nature. Sir Philip had inherited the title and estates when he was still a minor. For the first few years after he came of age, he socialized a lot. At Derval Court, his home was lively and known for its extravagant hospitality; however, the estate didn’t match the grandeur of the mansion, and certainly not the owner’s spending. He had become deeply in debt, and after a romantic disappointment (or so the gossip went) coinciding with his financial troubles, he abruptly changed his lifestyle, isolating himself from old friends, living in seclusion, and immersing himself in books and scientific interests, and as the old woman said vaguely yet tellingly, “to odd ways.” He gradually managed to pay off his debts through a frugal lifestyle that was tight on himself but didn’t stop him from being generously supportive to others; and once he was wealthy again, he mysteriously left the country and embraced a life of travel. Now around forty-eight years old, he had spent eighteen years abroad. He wrote frequently to his steward with detailed and thoughtful instructions regarding the care, comfort, and homes of the peasantry, but firmly instructed him to spend no money on the grounds and mansion, explaining that the latter could be allowed to deteriorate because he planned to tear it down whenever he returned to England.
I stayed some time longer than my engagements well warranted at my patient’s house, not leaving till the sufferer, after a quiet sleep, had removed from his bed to his armchair, taken food, and seemed perfectly recovered from his attack.
I stayed a bit longer at my patient’s house than I had planned, not leaving until the patient, after a peaceful sleep, had moved from his bed to his armchair, eaten some food, and seemed completely recovered from his episode.
Riding homeward, I mused on the difference that education makes, even pathologically, between man and man. Here was a brawny inhabitant of rural fields, leading the healthiest of lives, not conscious of the faculty we call imagination, stricken down almost to Death’s door by his fright at an optical illusion, explicable, if examined, by the same simple causes which had impressed me the night before with a moment’s belief in a sound and a spectre,—me who, thanks to sublime education, went so quietly to sleep a few minutes after, convinced that no phantom, the ghostliest that ear ever heard or eye ever saw, can be anything else but a nervous phenomenon.
Riding home, I reflected on how much education influences people, even in extreme ways, making a real difference between individuals. Here was a strong person from the countryside, living a very healthy life, completely unaware of something we call imagination, nearly brought to the brink of death by his fear of an optical illusion. This fear was understandable if you looked closely, just like how I was briefly convinced the night before by a sound and a vision—me, who, thanks to my excellent education, went to sleep just minutes later, firmly believing that no ghost, no matter how creepy it seemed to the ear or eye, could be anything but a nervous reaction.
CHAPTER XXII.
That evening I went to Mrs. Poyntz’s; it was one of her ordinary “reception nights,” and I felt that she would naturally expect my attendance as “a proper attention.”
That evening I went to Mrs. Poyntz’s; it was one of her regular “reception nights,” and I sensed that she would expect me to be there as “a polite gesture.”
I joined a group engaged in general conversation, of which Mrs. Poyntz herself made the centre, knitting as usual,—rapidly while she talked, slowly when she listened.
I joined a group that was chatting, with Mrs. Poyntz at the center, knitting as always—quickly while she talked, slowly when she listened.
Without mentioning the visit I had paid that morning, I turned the conversation on the different country places in the neighbourhood, and then incidentally asked, “What sort of a man is Sir Philip Derval? Is it not strange that he should suffer so fine a place to fall into decay?” The answers I received added little to the information I had already obtained. Mrs. Poyntz knew nothing of Sir Philip Derval, except as a man of large estates, whose rental had been greatly increased by a rise in the value of property he possessed in the town of L——, and which lay contiguous to that of her husband. Two or three of the older inhabitants of the Hill had remembered Sir Philip in his early days, when he was gay, high-spirited, hospitable, lavish. One observed that the only person in L—— whom he had admitted to his subsequent seclusion was Dr. Lloyd, who was then without practice, and whom he had employed as an assistant in certain chemical experiments.
Without mentioning my visit that morning, I shifted the conversation to the various country places in the area, and then casually asked, “What kind of guy is Sir Philip Derval? Isn’t it odd that he would let such a beautiful place fall into disrepair?” The replies I got didn’t add much to what I already knew. Mrs. Poyntz didn’t know much about Sir Philip Derval, except that he was a wealthy landowner whose rental income had increased due to the rise in property values in the town of L——, which was next to her husband’s land. A few of the older residents of the Hill remembered Sir Philip from his younger days when he was lively, cheerful, and generous. One noted that the only person in L—— he had allowed into his later seclusion was Dr. Lloyd, who was then out of practice and whom he had hired as an assistant for some chemical experiments.
Here a gentleman struck into the conversation. He was a stranger to me and to L——, a visitor to one of the dwellers on the Hill, who had asked leave to present him to its queen as a great traveller and an accomplished antiquary. Said this gentleman: “Sir Philip Derval? I know him. I met him in the East. He was then still, I believe, very fond of chemical science; a clever, odd, philanthropical man; had studied medicine, or at least practised it; was said to have made many marvellous cures. I became acquainted with him in Aleppo. He had come to that town, not much frequented by English travellers, in order to inquire into the murder of two men, of whom one was his friend and the other his countryman.”
Here a gentleman joined the conversation. He was unfamiliar to both me and L———, a visitor to one of the residents on the Hill, who had asked to introduce him to its queen as a great traveler and skilled antiquarian. This gentleman said, "Sir Philip Derval? I know him. I met him in the East. Back then, I believe he was still very passionate about chemistry; a smart, quirky, charitable guy; he had studied medicine, or at least practiced it; it was said he performed many amazing cures. I got to know him in Aleppo. He had come to that city, which isn't often visited by English travelers, to investigate the murder of two men, one of whom was his friend and the other his fellow countryman."
“This is interesting,” said Mrs. Poyntz, dryly. “We who live on this innocent Hill all love stories of crime; murder is the pleasantest subject you could have hit on. Pray give us the details.”
“This is interesting,” said Mrs. Poyntz, dryly. “We who live on this innocent Hill all love crime stories; murder is the most enjoyable topic you could have chosen. Please tell us the details.”
“So encouraged,” said the traveller, good-humouredly, “I will not hesitate to communicate the little I know. In Aleppo there had lived for some years a man who was held by the natives in great reverence. He had the reputation of extraordinary wisdom, but was difficult of access; the lively imagination of the Orientals invested his character with the fascinations of fable,—in short, Haroun of Aleppo was popularly considered a magician. Wild stories were told of his powers, of his preternatural age, of his hoarded treasures. Apart from such disputable titles to homage, there seemed no question, from all I heard, that his learning was considerable, his charities extensive, his manner of life irreproachably ascetic. He appears to have resembled those Arabian sages of the Gothic age to whom modern science is largely indebted,—a mystic enthusiast, but an earnest scholar. A wealthy and singular Englishman, long resident in another part of the East, afflicted by some languishing disease, took a journey to Aleppo to consult this sage, who, among his other acquirements, was held to have discovered rare secrets in medicine,—his countrymen said in ‘charms.’ One morning, not long after the Englishman’s arrival, Haroun was found dead in his bed, apparently strangled, and the Englishman, who lodged in another part of the town, had disappeared; but some of his clothes, and a crutch on which he habitually supported himself, were found a few miles distant from Aleppo, near the roadside. There appeared no doubt that he, too, had been murdered, but his corpse could not be discovered. Sir Philip Derval had been a loving disciple of this Sage of Aleppo, to whom he assured me he owed not only that knowledge of medicine which, by report, Sir Philip possessed, but the insight into various truths of nature, on the promulgation of which, it was evident, Sir Philip cherished the ambition to found a philosophical celebrity for himself.”
“So encouraged,” said the traveler, good-naturedly, “I won’t hesitate to share what little I know. In Aleppo, there lived for several years a man who was held in great respect by the locals. He was known for his incredible wisdom but was hard to reach; the vivid imagination of the people turned his character into something almost mythical—in short, Haroun of Aleppo was widely considered a magician. There were wild stories about his abilities, his unnatural age, and his hidden treasures. Aside from these questionable reasons for admiration, there was no doubt from everything I heard that his knowledge was significant, his generosity extensive, and his way of life impeccably ascetic. He seemed to resemble those Arabian sages from the Gothic era, to whom modern science owes a lot— a mystical enthusiast but also a serious scholar. A wealthy and unique Englishman, who had lived for a long time in another part of the East and was suffering from a prolonged illness, traveled to Aleppo to consult this sage, who was believed to have uncovered rare secrets in medicine—his fellow countrymen referred to them as ‘charms.’ One morning, shortly after the Englishman arrived, Haroun was found dead in his bed, apparently strangled, and the Englishman, who was staying in another part of town, had disappeared; however, some of his clothes and a crutch he used were found a few miles from Aleppo, near the roadside. It was clear that he had also been murdered, but his body couldn’t be found. Sir Philip Derval had been a devoted student of this Sage of Aleppo, to whom he assured me he owed not only the knowledge of medicine that Sir Philip reportedly had but also insights into various truths of nature, on which it was evident that Sir Philip aimed to establish a philosophical reputation for himself.”
“Of what description were those truths of nature?” I asked, somewhat sarcastically.
“What kind of truths about nature were those?” I asked, a little sarcastically.
“Sir, I am unable to tell you, for Sir Philip did not inform me, nor did I much care to ask; for what may be revered as truths in Asia are usually despised as dreams in Europe. To return to my story: Sir Philip had been in Aleppo a little time before the murder; had left the Englishman under the care of Haroun. He returned to Aleppo on hearing the tragic events I have related, and was busy in collecting such evidence as could be gleaned, and instituting inquiries after our missing countryman at the time I myself chanced to arrive in the city. I assisted in his researches, but without avail. The assassins remained undiscovered. I do not myself doubt that they were mere vulgar robbers. Sir Philip had a darker suspicion of which he made no secret to me; but as I confess that I thought the suspicion groundless, you will pardon me if I do not repeat it. Whether since I left the East the Englishman’s remains have been discovered, I know not. Very probably; for I understand that his heirs have got hold of what fortune he left,—less than was generally supposed. But it was reported that he had buried great treasures, a rumour, however absurd, not altogether inconsistent with his character.”
“Sir, I can’t tell you because Sir Philip didn’t inform me, and I didn’t really care to ask. What might be seen as truths in Asia are often viewed as mere dreams in Europe. To get back to my story: Sir Philip had been in Aleppo shortly before the murder and had left the Englishman in Haroun's care. He returned to Aleppo after hearing about the tragic events I’ve mentioned and was busy gathering any evidence he could find while looking for our missing countryman when I happened to arrive in the city. I helped with his investigations, but we were unsuccessful. The assassins were never found. I personally believe they were just ordinary robbers. Sir Philip had a darker suspicion he didn’t hide from me, but since I admit I thought that suspicion was unfounded, I’ll spare you the details. Whether the Englishman’s remains have been found since I left the East, I don’t know. It’s very likely they have, as I understand his heirs got what little fortune he left behind—less than was generally believed. However, there were rumors he had buried great treasures, a belief that, while ridiculous, wasn’t entirely out of character.”
“What was his character?” asked Mrs. Poyntz.
“What was he like?” asked Mrs. Poyntz.
“One of evil and sinister repute. He was regarded with terror by the attendants who had accompanied him to Aleppo. But he had lived in a very remote part of the East, little known to Europeans, and, from all I could learn, had there established an extraordinary power, strengthened by superstitious awe. He was said to have studied deeply that knowledge which the philosophers of old called ‘occult,’ not, like the Sage of Aleppo, for benevolent, but for malignant ends. He was accused of conferring with evil spirits, and filling his barbaric court (for he lived in a kind of savage royalty) with charmers and sorcerers. I suspect, after all, that he was only, like myself, an ardent antiquary, and cunningly made use of the fear he inspired in order to secure his authority, and prosecute in safety researches into ancient sepulchres or temples. His great passion was, indeed, in excavating such remains, in his neighbourhood; with what result I know not, never having penetrated so far into regions infested by robbers and pestiferous with malaria. He wore the Eastern dress, and always carried jewels about him. I came to the conclusion that for the sake of these jewels he was murdered, perhaps by some of his own servants (and, indeed, two at least of his suite were missing), who then at once buried his body, and kept their own secret. He was old, very infirm; could never have got far from the town without assistance.”
“One with a reputation for evil and wickedness. He was feared by the attendants who had traveled with him to Aleppo. But he lived in a very remote part of the East, little known to Europeans, and, from what I could gather, had established an extraordinary power there, bolstered by superstitious dread. People said he had deeply studied what the philosophers of old called ‘occult’ knowledge, not for good, like the Sage of Aleppo, but for malevolent purposes. He was accused of communicating with evil spirits and filling his barbaric court (since he lived in a sort of savage royalty) with charmers and sorcerers. I suspect that, in reality, he was just like me, a passionate antiquarian, and cleverly used the fear he inspired to solidify his authority and safely pursue research into ancient tombs or temples. His main interest was, indeed, in excavating such remains in his area; what he found, I don’t know, as I never ventured so deep into regions plagued by robbers and rife with malaria. He wore Eastern attire and always carried jewels with him. I concluded that he was murdered for these jewels, possibly by some of his own servants (and, in fact, at least two of his retinue were missing) who then quickly buried his body and kept their secret. He was old and very frail; he could never have gone far from the town without help.”
“You have not yet told us his name,” said Mrs. Poyntz.
“You still haven’t told us his name,” said Mrs. Poyntz.
“His name was Grayle.”
“His name was Grayle.”
“Grayle!” exclaimed Mrs. Poyntz, dropping her work. “Louis Grayle?”
“Grayle!” shouted Mrs. Poyntz, putting down her work. “Louis Grayle?”
“Yes; Louis Grayle. You could not have known him?”
“Yes; Louis Grayle. You wouldn’t have known him, would you?”
“Known him! No; but I have often heard my father speak of him. Such, then, was the tragic end of that strong dark creature, for whom, as a young girl in the nursery, I used to feel a kind of fearful admiring interest?”
“Do I know him? No; but I’ve often heard my dad talk about him. So, that was the tragic end of that strong, dark figure, for whom, as a young girl in the nursery, I used to feel a mix of fear and admiration?”
“It is your turn to narrate now,” said the traveller.
“It’s your turn to tell the story now,” said the traveler.
And we all drew closer round our hostess, who remained silent some moments, her brow thoughtful, her work suspended.
And we all gathered closer around our hostess, who stayed quiet for a few moments, her brow furrowed in thought, her work on hold.
“Well,” said she at last, looking round us with a lofty air, which seemed half defying, “force and courage are always fascinating, even when they are quite in the wrong. I go with the world, because the world goes with me; if it did not—” Here she stopped for a moment, clenched the firm white hand, and then scornfully waved it, left the sentence unfinished, and broke into another.
“Well,” she finally said, looking around us with an air of superiority that seemed to challenge us, “power and confidence are always intriguing, even when they’re completely misguided. I follow the crowd because the crowd follows me; if it didn’t—” She paused for a moment, clenched her strong white hand, then dismissively waved it, leaving the sentence unfinished and launching into a new one.
“Going with the world, of course we must march over those who stand against it. But when one man stands single-handed against our march, we do not despise him; it is enough to crush. I am very glad I did not see Louis Grayle when I was a girl of sixteen.” Again she paused a moment, and resumed: “Louis Grayle was the only son of a usurer, infamous for the rapacity with which he had acquired enormous wealth. Old Grayle desired to rear his heir as a gentleman; sent him to Eton. Boys are always aristocratic; his birth was soon thrown in his teeth; he was fierce; he struck boys bigger than himself,—fought till he was half killed. My father was at school with him; described him as a tiger-whelp. One day he—still a fag—struck a sixth-form boy. Sixth-form boys do not fight fags; they punish them. Louis Grayle was ordered to hold out his hand to the cane; he received the blow, drew forth his schoolboy knife, and stabbed the punisher. After that, he left Eton. I don’t think he was publicly expelled—too mere a child for that honour—but he was taken or sent away; educated with great care under the first masters at home. When he was of age to enter the University, old Grayle was dead. Louis was sent by his guardians to Cambridge, with acquirements far exceeding the average of young men, and with unlimited command of money. My father was at the same college, and described him again,—haughty, quarrelsome, reckless, handsome, aspiring, brave. Does that kind of creature interest you, my dears?” (appealing to the ladies).
“Going with the world, of course we have to march over those who stand against it. But when one person stands alone against our march, we don't look down on them; it's just enough to crush them. I’m really glad I didn’t meet Louis Grayle when I was sixteen.” She paused for a moment, then continued: “Louis Grayle was the only son of a loan shark, notorious for the greed with which he amassed his huge fortune. Old Grayle wanted to raise his son as a gentleman; he sent him to Eton. Boys are always a bit snobby; his background was soon used against him; he was fierce; he fought boys bigger than himself—went at it until he was half beaten up. My father went to school with him and described him as a tiger cub. One day, when he was still a younger student, he struck a sixth-form boy. Sixth-form boys don’t fight younger students; they punish them. Louis Grayle was told to hold out his hand for the cane; he took the hit, pulled out his schoolboy knife, and stabbed the one punishing him. After that, he left Eton. I don’t think he was publicly expelled—he was too young for that distinction—but he was taken away or sent off; educated carefully at home by top tutors. When he was old enough to go to university, old Grayle had passed away. Louis was sent by his guardians to Cambridge, with skills far above the average young man’s and unlimited access to money. My father was at the same college and described him again—arrogant, combative, reckless, good-looking, ambitious, brave. Does that kind of person interest you, my dears?” (she asked the ladies).
“La!” said Miss Brabazon; “a horrid usurer’s son!”
“La!” said Miss Brabazon; “a terrible moneylender's son!”
“Ay, true; the vulgar proverb says it is good to be born with a silver spoon in one’s mouth: so it is when one has one’s own family crest on it; but when it is a spoon on which people recognize their family crest, and cry out, ‘Stolen from our plate chest,’ it is a heritage that outlaws a babe in his cradle. However, young men at college who want money are less scrupulous about descent than boys at Eton are. Louis Grayle found, while at college, plenty of wellborn acquaintances willing to recover from him some of the plunder his father had extorted from theirs. He was too wild to distinguish himself by academical honours, but my father said that the tutors of the college declared there were not six undergraduates in the University who knew as much hard and dry science as wild Louis Grayle. He went into the world, no doubt, hoping to shine; but his father’s name was too notorious to admit the son into good society. The Polite World, it is true, does not examine a scutcheon with the nice eye of a herald, nor look upon riches with the stately contempt of a stoic; still the Polite World has its family pride and its moral sentiment. It does not like to be cheated,—I mean, in money matters; and when the son of a man who has emptied its purse and foreclosed on its acres rides by its club-windows, hand on haunch, and head in the air, no lion has a scowl more awful, no hyena a laugh more dread, than that same easy, good-tempered, tolerant, polite, well-bred World which is so pleasant an acquaintance, so languid a friend, and—so remorseless an—enemy. In short, Louis Grayle claimed the right to be courted,—he was shunned; to be admired,—he was loathed. Even his old college acquaintances were shamed out of knowing him. Perhaps he could have lived through all this had he sought to glide quietly into position; but he wanted the tact of the well-bred, and strove to storm his way, not to steal it. Reduced for companions to needy parasites, he braved and he shocked all decorous opinion by that ostentation of excess, which made Richelieus and Lauzuns the rage. But then Richelieus and Lauzuns were dukes! He now very naturally took the Polite World into hate,—gave it scorn for scorn. He would ally himself with Democracy; his wealth could not get him into a club, but it would buy him into parliament; he could not be a Lauzun, nor, perhaps, a Mirabeau, but he might be a Danton. He had plenty of knowledge and audacity, and with knowledge and audacity a good hater is sure to be eloquent. Possibly, then, this poor Louis Grayle might have made a great figure, left his mark on his age and his name in history; but in contesting the borough, which he was sure to carry, he had to face an opponent in a real fine gentleman whom his father had ruined, cool and highbred, with a tongue like a rapier, a sneer like an adder. A quarrel of course; Louis Grayle sent a challenge. The fine gentleman, known to be no coward (fine gentlemen never are), was at first disposed to refuse with contempt. But Grayle had made himself the idol of the mob; and at a word from Grayle, the fine gentleman might have been ducked at a pump, or tossed in a blanket,—that would have made him ridiculous; to be shot at is a trifle, to be laughed at is serious. He therefore condescended to accept the challenge, and my father was his second.
“Yeah, it’s true; the saying goes it’s good to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth: that’s true when you have your own family crest on it; but when it’s a spoon that people recognize as theirs and shout, ‘Stolen from our plate chest,’ it’s a legacy that outlaws a baby in its cradle. However, college guys looking for money are less picky about family background than boys at Eton. Louis Grayle found, while at college, plenty of well-bred friends willing to get back some of the loot his father had taken from theirs. He was too wild to stand out with academic honors, but my father said the college tutors claimed there weren't six undergraduates in the University who knew as much dry science as wild Louis Grayle. He went out into the world, no doubt, hoping to make a name for himself; but his father’s name was too infamous to allow the son into good society. The Polite World doesn’t scrutinize a coat of arms with the keen eye of a herald, nor look at wealth with the lofty disdain of a stoic; still, the Polite World has its pride and its morals. It doesn’t like to be cheated—in financial matters, that is; and when the son of a man who has emptied its wallet and foreclosed on its land rides by its club-windows, hand on hip, head held high, no lion has a scowl more terrifying, no hyena a laugh more dreadful, than that same easy-going, good-natured, tolerant, polite, well-bred World that is such a pleasant acquaintance, so languid a friend, and—so merciless an—enemy. In short, Louis Grayle wanted to be courted—but he was avoided; to be admired—but he was despised. Even his old college friends were embarrassed to know him. Perhaps he could have survived all this if he had tried to quietly settle into his position; but he lacked the tact of the well-bred and attempted to force his way in, rather than sneak it. Reduced to needy hangers-on for company, he challenged and shocked all respectable opinion with his display of excess, which made Richelieus and Lauzuns the talk of the town. But then Richelieus and Lauzuns were dukes! He naturally came to hate the Polite World—returned scorn for scorn. He wanted to align himself with Democracy; his wealth couldn’t get him into a club, but it could buy him a spot in parliament; he couldn’t be a Lauzun, nor possibly a Mirabeau, but he might be a Danton. He had plenty of knowledge and boldness, and with knowledge and boldness, a good hater is sure to be eloquent. So perhaps this poor Louis Grayle could have made a significant impact, left his mark on his time and his name in history; but in running for the borough, which he was sure to win, he faced an opponent in a real fine gentleman whom his father had ruined, cool and well-bred, with a tongue like a rapier and a sneer like a snake. A quarrel, of course; Louis Grayle sent a challenge. The fine gentleman, known to be no coward (fine gentlemen never are), was initially inclined to refuse out of disdain. But Grayle had made himself the favorite of the mob; with just a word from Grayle, the fine gentleman could have been dunked in a pump or tossed in a blanket—that would have been embarrassing; being shot at is minor, being laughed at is serious. He therefore agreed to accept the challenge, and my father was his second."
“It was settled, of course, according to English custom, that both combatants should fire at the same time, and by signal. The antagonist fired at the right moment; his ball grazed Louis Grayle’s temple. Louis Grayle had not fired. He now seemed to the seconds to take slow and deliberate aim. They called out to him not to fire; they were rushing to prevent him, when the trigger was pulled, and his opponent fell dead on the field. The fight was, therefore, considered unfair; Louis Grayle was tried for his life: he did not stand the trial in person.(1) He escaped to the Continent; hurried on to some distant uncivilized lands; could not be traced; reappeared in England no more. The lawyer who conducted his defence pleaded skilfully. He argued that the delay in firing was not intentional, therefore not criminal,—the effect of the stun which the wound in the temple had occasioned. The judge was a gentleman, and summed up the evidence so as to direct the jury to a verdict against the low wretch who had murdered a gentleman; but the jurors were not gentlemen, and Grayle’s advocate had of course excited their sympathy for a son of the people, whom a gentleman had wantonly insulted. The verdict was manslaughter; but the sentence emphatically marked the aggravated nature of the homicide,—three years’ imprisonment. Grayle eluded the prison, but he was a man disgraced and an exile,—his ambition blasted, his career an outlaw’s, and his age not yet twenty-three. My father said that he was supposed to have changed his name; none knew what had become of him. And so this creature, brilliant and daring, whom if born under better auspices we might now be all fawning on, cringing to,—after living to old age, no one knows how,—dies murdered at Aleppo, no one, you say, knows by whom.”
“It was agreed, of course, according to English tradition, that both fighters would shoot at the same time and on a signal. The opponent fired at the right moment; his bullet grazed Louis Grayle’s temple. Louis Grayle did not fire. He then seemed to take slow and careful aim. They shouted at him not to fire; they were rushing to stop him when the trigger was pulled, and his opponent fell dead on the field. The duel was therefore seen as unfair; Louis Grayle was put on trial for his life: he did not attend the trial in person. He escaped to the Continent, hurried off to some distant, uncivilized lands; he left no trace and never returned to England. The lawyer who defended him made a skillful argument. He claimed that the delay in firing was unintentional, thus not criminal—it was the result of the shock from the wound to his temple. The judge was a gentleman and summarized the evidence to direct the jury toward a verdict against the lowly scoundrel who had killed a gentleman; however, the jurors were not gentlemen, and Grayle’s lawyer naturally stirred their sympathy for a common man, whom a gentleman had insulted without cause. The verdict was manslaughter; yet the sentence clearly reflected the serious nature of the crime—three years in prison. Grayle avoided imprisonment, but he was a disgraced man and an exile—his ambitions ruined, his life that of an outlaw, and he was not yet twenty-three. My father said that he was believed to have changed his name; no one knew what happened to him. And so this brilliant and daring individual, who if born under better circumstances we might now be all fawning over—after living to old age, in a way no one knows—dies murdered in Aleppo, and no one, you say, knows by whom.”
“I saw some account of his death in the papers about three years ago,” said one of the party; “but the name was misspelled, and I had no idea that it was the same man who had fought the duel which Mrs. Colonel Poyntz has so graphically described. I have a very vague recollection of the trial; it took place when I was a boy, more than forty years since. The affair made a stir at the time, but was soon forgotten.”
“I saw an article about his death in the papers around three years ago,” said one of the group; “but they misspelled his name, and I had no idea it was the same guy who fought the duel that Mrs. Colonel Poyntz described so vividly. I have a pretty unclear memory of the trial; it happened when I was a kid, over forty years ago. It caused a bit of a commotion back then, but it was quickly forgotten.”
“Soon forgotten,” said Mrs. Poyntz; “ay, what is not? Leave your place in the world for ten minutes, and when you come back somebody else has taken it; but when you leave the world for good, who remembers that you had ever a place even in the parish register?”
“Soon forgotten,” said Mrs. Poyntz; “yeah, what isn't? Step away from your spot in the world for ten minutes, and when you return, someone else has taken it; but when you leave the world for good, who remembers that you ever had a place, even in the parish register?”
“Nevertheless,” said I, “a great poet has said, finely and truly,
“Still,” I said, “a great poet once said, beautifully and accurately,
“‘The sun of Homer shines upon us still.’”
“‘The sun of Homer still shines on us.’”
“But it does not shine upon Homer; and learned folks tell me that we know no more who and what Homer was, if there was ever a single Homer at all, or rather, a whole herd of Homers, than we know about the man in the moon,—if there be one man there, or millions of men. Now, my dear Miss Brabazon, it will be very kind in you to divert our thoughts into channels less gloomy. Some pretty French air—Dr. Fenwick, I have something to say to you.” She drew me towards the window. “So Annie Ashleigh writes me word that I am not to mention your engagement. Do you think it quite prudent to keep it a secret?”
“But it doesn't shine on Homer; and smart people tell me that we still don't know who or what Homer was, whether there was ever just one Homer at all, or maybe a whole bunch of Homers, any more than we know about the man in the moon—if there even is one man up there, or millions. Now, my dear Miss Brabazon, it would be very nice of you to steer our thoughts to something less gloomy. How about a nice French tune—Dr. Fenwick, I have something to discuss with you.” She pulled me toward the window. “Annie Ashleigh has told me that I shouldn't mention your engagement. Do you think it's really wise to keep it a secret?”
“I do not see how prudence is concerned in keeping it secret one way or the other,—it is a mere matter of feeling. Most people wish to abridge, as far as they can, the time in which their private arrangements are the topic of public gossip.”
“I don’t see how being careful has anything to do with keeping it secret one way or another—it’s just about how you feel. Most people want to shorten the time their personal matters are the subject of public chatter as much as they can.”
“Public gossip is sometimes the best security for the due completion of private arrangements. As long as a girl is not known to be engaged, her betrothed must be prepared for rivals. Announce the engagement, and rivals are warned off.”
“Public gossip can sometimes be the best way to ensure private arrangements are followed through. As long as a girl isn’t known to be engaged, her fiancé should be ready for competition. Announce the engagement, and competitors will back off.”
“I fear no rivals.”
“I fear no competition.”
“Do you not? Bold man! I suppose you will write to Lilian?”
“Don’t you? You’re so bold! I guess you’ll be writing to Lilian?”
“Certainly.”
"Of course."
“Do so, and constantly. By-the-way, Mrs. Ashleigh, before she went, asked me to send her back Lady Haughton’s letter of invitation. What for,—to show to you?”
“Do that, and keep doing it. By the way, Mrs. Ashleigh, before she left, asked me to send back Lady Haughton’s invitation letter. What’s that for— to show you?”
“Very likely. Have you the letter still? May I see it?”
“Probably. Do you still have the letter? Can I take a look at it?”
“Not just at present. When Lilian or Mrs. Ashleigh writes to you, come and tell me how they like their visit, and what other guests form the party.”
“Not just now. When Lilian or Mrs. Ashleigh writes to you, come and let me know how they enjoyed their visit and who else is in the group.”
Therewith she turned away and conversed apart with the traveller.
She then turned away and talked privately with the traveler.
Her words disquieted me, and I felt that they were meant to do so, wherefore I could not guess. But there is no language on earth which has more words with a double meaning than that spoken by the Clever Woman, who is never so guarded as when she appears to be frank.
Her words unsettled me, and I sensed that they were intended to do just that, though I couldn't figure out why. But there's no language on earth with more ambiguous meanings than that spoken by the Clever Woman, who is never more cautious than when she seems to be straightforward.
As I walked home thoughtfully, I was accosted by a young man, the son of one of the wealthiest merchants in the town. I had attended him with success some months before, in a rheumatic fever: he and his family were much attached to me.
As I walked home, lost in thought, a young man approached me. He was the son of one of the richest merchants in town. I had treated him successfully a few months ago for rheumatic fever, and he and his family were very fond of me.
“Ah, my dear Fenwick, I am so glad to see you; I owe you an obligation of which you are not aware,—an exceedingly pleasant travelling-companion. I came with him to-day from London, where I have been sight-seeing and holidaymaking for the last fortnight.”
“Ah, my dear Fenwick, I’m so happy to see you; I have a debt to you that you don’t even realize—a really enjoyable travel companion. I came with him today from London, where I’ve been exploring and enjoying a vacation for the last two weeks.”
“I suppose you mean that you kindly bring me a patient?”
“I guess you mean that you’re kindly bringing me a patient?”
“No, only an admirer. I was staying at Fenton’s Hotel. It so happened one day that I had left in the coffee-room your last work on the Vital Principle, which, by the by, the bookseller assures me is selling immensely among readers as non-professional as myself. Coming into the coffee-room again, I found a gentleman reading the book. I claimed it politely; he as politely tendered his excuse for taking it. We made acquaintance on the spot. The next day we were intimate. He expressed great interest and curiosity about your theory and your experiments. I told him I knew you. You may guess if I described you as less clever in your practice than you are in your writings; and, in short, he came with me to L——, partly to see our flourishing town, principally on my promise to introduce him to you. My mother, you know, has what she calls a dejeuner tomorrow,—dejeuner and dance. You will be there?”
“No, just an admirer. I was staying at Fenton’s Hotel. One day, I accidentally left your latest work on the Vital Principle in the coffee room, which, by the way, the bookseller tells me is selling really well among casual readers like me. When I returned to the coffee room, I found a gentleman reading the book. I politely asked for it back, and he politely explained why he had taken it. We got to know each other right then. The next day, we became close friends. He showed a lot of interest and curiosity about your theory and experiments. I mentioned that I knew you. You can imagine I didn’t downplay how impressive you are in person compared to your writing; anyway, he decided to come with me to L——, partly to check out our thriving town, but mostly because I promised to introduce him to you. You know my mother is having what she calls a dejeuner tomorrow—dejeuner and dance. Will you be there?”
“Thank you for reminding me of her invitation. I will avail myself of it if I can. Your new friend will be present? Who and what is he,—a medical student?”
“Thanks for reminding me about her invitation. I’ll take advantage of it if I can. Is your new friend going to be there? Who is he, a medical student?”
“No, a mere gentleman at ease, but seems to have a good deal of general information. Very young, apparently very rich, wonderfully good-looking. I am sure you will like him; everybody must.”
“No, just a laid-back guy, but he seems to have a lot of general knowledge. Very young, apparently very wealthy, and incredibly good-looking. I'm sure you'll like him; everyone does.”
“It is quite enough to prepare me to like him that he is a friend of yours.” And so we shook hands and parted.
“It’s more than enough for me to like him just because he’s your friend.” And so we shook hands and went our separate ways.
(1) Mrs. Poyntz here makes a mistake in law which, though very evident, her listeners do not seem to have noticed. Her mistake will be referred to later.
(1) Mrs. Poyntz makes a clear legal mistake here, but her audience doesn’t seem to realize it. We'll discuss her mistake later.
CHAPTER XXIII.
It was late in the afternoon of the following day before I was able to join the party assembled at the merchant’s house; it was a villa about two miles out of the town, pleasantly situated amidst flower-gardens celebrated in the neighbourhood for their beauty. The breakfast had been long over; the company was scattered over the lawn,—some formed into a dance on the smooth lawn; some seated under shady awnings; others gliding amidst parterres, in which all the glow of colour took a glory yet more vivid under the flush of a brilliant sunshine; and the ripple of a soft western breeze. Music, loud and lively, mingled with the laughter of happy children, who formed much the larger number of the party.
It was late in the afternoon the next day before I could join the group gathered at the merchant’s house; it was a villa about two miles outside of town, nicely located among flower gardens known in the area for their beauty. Breakfast was already over; the guests were spread out on the lawn—some were dancing on the smooth grass, some seated under shady awnings, and others wandering among the flowerbeds, where all the vibrant colors looked even more stunning under the bright sunshine and a gentle western breeze. Loud and lively music blended with the laughter of happy children, who made up the majority of the party.
Standing at the entrance of an arched trellis, that led from the hardier flowers of the lawn to a rare collection of tropical plants under a lofty glass dome (connecting, as it were, the familiar vegetation of the North with that of the remotest East), was a form that instantaneously caught and fixed my gaze. The entrance of the arcade was covered with parasite creepers, in prodigal luxuriance, of variegated gorgeous tints,—scarlet, golden, purple; and the form, an idealized picture of man’s youth fresh from the hand of Nature, stood literally in a frame of blooms.
Standing at the entrance of an arched trellis that led from the tougher flowers of the lawn to a rare collection of tropical plants under a tall glass dome (connecting the familiar greenery of the North with that of the farthest East) was a figure that instantly caught and held my attention. The entrance of the arcade was covered with lush, colorful creepers in vibrant shades of scarlet, gold, and purple; and the figure, an idealized image of youthful humanity fresh from the hand of Nature, stood literally framed by blossoms.
Never have I seen human face so radiant as that young man’s. There was in the aspect an indescribable something that literally dazzled. As one continued to gaze, it was with surprise; one was forced to acknowledge that in the features themselves there was no faultless regularity; nor was the young man’s stature imposing, about the middle height. But the effect of the whole was not less transcendent. Large eyes, unspeakably lustrous; a most harmonious colouring; an expression of contagious animation and joyousness; and the form itself so critically fine, that the welded strength of its sinews was best shown in the lightness and grace of its movements.
Never have I seen a human face as radiant as that young man’s. There was something indescribable in his appearance that literally dazzled. As you continued to look, it was with surprise; you couldn’t help but notice that his features weren’t perfectly regular, nor was the young man particularly tall, being of average height. But the overall effect was still extraordinary. He had large, incredibly bright eyes; a beautifully harmonious complexion; an expression full of vibrant energy and joy; and his form was so finely sculpted that the strength of his muscles was best revealed in the lightness and grace of his movements.
He was resting one hand carelessly on the golden locks of a child that had nestled itself against his knees, looking up to his face in that silent loving wonder with which children regard something too strangely beautiful for noisy admiration; he himself was conversing with the host, an old gray-haired, gouty man, propped on his crutched stick, and listening with a look of mournful envy. To the wealth of the old man all the flowers in that garden owed their renewed delight in the summer air and sun. Oh, that his wealth could renew to himself one hour of the youth whose incarnation stood beside him, Lord, indeed, of Creation; its splendour woven into his crown of beauty, its enjoyments subject to his sceptre of hope and gladness.
He was casually resting one hand on the golden hair of a child who had snuggled against his knees, looking up at him with that silent, loving wonder that children have for something too strangely beautiful for loud admiration; he himself was chatting with the host, an old, gray-haired man with gout, leaning on his cane, and listening with a look of sad envy. The old man's wealth was what allowed all the flowers in that garden to bloom beautifully in the summer air and sun. Oh, if only his wealth could give him just one hour back of the youth represented by the figure next to him, truly the Lord of Creation; its splendor woven into his crown of beauty, its joys under his scepter of hope and happiness.
I was startled by the hearty voice of the merchant’s son. “Ah, my dear Fenwick, I was afraid you would not come,—you are late. There is the new friend of whom I spoke to you last night; let me now make you acquainted with him.” He drew my arm in his, and led me up to the young man, where he stood under the arching flowers, and whom he then introduced to me by the name of Margrave.
I was surprised by the cheerful voice of the merchant’s son. “Ah, my dear Fenwick, I was worried you wouldn’t make it—you’re late. There’s the new friend I told you about last night; let me introduce you to him.” He linked his arm with mine and led me to the young man who was standing under the blooming flowers, and then he introduced him to me as Margrave.
Nothing could be more frankly cordial than Mr. Margrave’s manner. In a few minutes I found myself conversing with him familiarly, as if we had been reared in the same home, and sported together in the same playground. His vein of talk was peculiar, off-hand, careless, shifting from topic to topic with a bright rapidity.
Nothing could be more genuinely friendly than Mr. Margrave’s way of being. In just a few minutes, I found myself talking with him like we were old friends, as if we had grown up in the same house and played together in the same park. His conversation style was unique, casual, and carefree, quickly jumping from one topic to another with a lively speed.
He said that he liked the place; proposed to stay in it some weeks; asked my address, which I gave to him; promised to call soon at an early hour, while my time was yet free from professional visits. I endeavoured, when I went away, to analyze to myself the fascination which this young stranger so notably exercised over all who approached him; and it seemed to me, ever seeking to find material causes for all moral effects, that it rose from the contagious vitality of that rarest of all rare gifts in highly-civilized circles,—perfect health; that health which is in itself the most exquisite luxury; which, finding happiness in the mere sense of existence, diffuses round it, like an atmosphere, the harmless hilarity of its bright animal being. Health, to the utmost perfection, is seldom known after childhood; health to the utmost cannot be enjoyed by those who overwork the brain, or admit the sure wear and tear of the passions. The creature I had just seen gave me the notion of youth in the golden age of the poets,—the youth of the careless Arcadian, before nymph or shepherdess had vexed his heart with a sigh.
He said he liked the place and suggested staying for a few weeks. He asked for my address, which I gave him, and promised to stop by soon in the morning while I was still free from work commitments. As I left, I tried to understand the charm this young stranger had over everyone who approached him. It seemed to me, always looking for practical reasons behind moral phenomena, that it came from the contagious energy of that rarest gift in highly civilized circles—perfect health. That kind of health is the ultimate luxury; it finds joy in just being alive and spreads around it, like an atmosphere, the light-heartedness of its vibrant existence. Perfect health is rarely known after childhood; it's hard to enjoy perfect health when you overload your mind or let your passions wear you down. The person I had just seen reminded me of the youth in the golden age of poets—the carefree youth of Arcadia, before any nymph or shepherdess had stirred his heart with longing.
CHAPTER XXIV.
The house I occupied at L—— was a quaint, old-fashioned building, a corner-house. One side, in which was the front entrance, looked upon a street which, as there were no shops in it, and it was no direct thoroughfare to the busy centres of the town, was always quiet, and at some hours of the day almost deserted. The other side of the house fronted a lane; opposite to it was the long and high wall of the garden to a Young Ladies’ Boarding-school. My stables adjoined the house, abutting on a row of smaller buildings, with little gardens before them, chiefly occupied by mercantile clerks and retired tradesmen. By the lane there was a short and ready access both to the high turnpike-road, and to some pleasant walks through green meadows and along the banks of a river.
The house I lived in at L—— was a charming, old-fashioned building on a corner. One side, where the front entrance was, faced a street that was always quiet since there were no shops and it didn’t lead directly to the busy parts of town. At times during the day, it was almost empty. The other side of the house looked onto a lane; across from it was a long, tall wall belonging to a Young Ladies’ Boarding School. My stables were next to the house, adjacent to a row of smaller buildings, each with little gardens mostly occupied by office workers and retired shopkeepers. The lane provided quick access to the main road and some nice walks through green meadows and along the riverbanks.
This house I had inhabited since my arrival at L——, and it had to me so many attractions, in a situation sufficiently central to be convenient for patients, and yet free from noise, and favourable to ready outlet into the country for such foot or horse exercise as my professional avocations would allow me to carve for myself out of what the Latin poet calls the “solid day,” that I had refused to change it for one better suited to my increased income; but it was not a house which Mrs. Ashleigh would have liked for Lilian. The main objection to it in the eyes of the “genteel” was, that it had formerly belonged to a member of the healing profession who united the shop of an apothecary to the diploma of a surgeon; but that shop had given the house a special attraction to me; for it had been built out on the side of the house which fronted the lane, occupying the greater portion of a small gravel court, fenced from the road by a low iron palisade, and separated from the body of the house itself by a short and narrow corridor that communicated with the entrance-hall. This shop I turned into a rude study for scientific experiments, in which I generally spent some early hours of the morning, before my visiting patients began to arrive. I enjoyed the stillness of its separation from the rest of the house; I enjoyed the glimpse of the great chestnut-trees, which overtopped the wall of the school-garden; I enjoyed the ease with which, by opening the glazed sash-door, I could get out, if disposed for a short walk, into the pleasant fields; and so completely had I made this sanctuary my own, that not only my man-servant knew that I was never to be disturbed when in it, except by the summons of a patient, but even the housemaid was forbidden to enter it with broom or duster, except upon special invitation. The last thing at night, before retiring to rest, it was the man-servant’s business to see that the sash-window was closed, and the gate to the iron palisade locked; but during the daytime I so often went out of the house by that private way that the gate was then very seldom locked, nor the sash-door bolted from within. In the town of L—— there was little apprehension of house-robberies,—especially in the daylight,—and certainly in this room, cut off from the main building, there was nothing to attract a vulgar cupidity. A few of the apothecary’s shelves and cases still remained on the walls, with, here and there, a bottle of some chemical preparation for experiment; two or three worm-eaten, wooden chairs; two or three shabby old tables; an old walnut-tree bureau without a lock, into which odds and ends were confusedly thrust, and sundry ugly-looking inventions of mechanical science, were, assuredly, not the articles which a timid proprietor would guard with jealous care from the chances of robbery. It will be seen later why I have been thus prolix in description. The morning after I had met the young stranger by whom I had been so favourably impressed, I was up as usual, a little before the sun, and long before any of my servants were astir. I went first into the room I have mentioned, and which I shall henceforth designate as my study, opened the window, unlocked the gate, and sauntered for some minutes up and down the silent lane skirting the opposite wall, and overhung by the chestnut-trees rich in the garniture of a glorious summer; then, refreshed for work, I re-entered my study, and was soon absorbed in the examination of that now well-known machine, which was then, to me at least, a novelty,—invented, if I remember right, by Dubois-Reymond, so distinguished by his researches into the mysteries of organic electricity. It is a wooden cylinder fixed against the edge of a table; on the table two vessels filled with salt and water are so placed that, as you close your hands on the cylinder, the forefinger of each hand can drop into the water; each of the vessels has a metallic plate, and communicates by wires with a galvanometer with its needle. Now the theory is, that if you clutch the cylinder firmly with the right hand, leaving the left perfectly passive, the needle in the galvanometer will move from west to south; if, in like manner, you exert the left arm, leaving the right arm passive, the needle will deflect from west to north. Hence, it is argued that the electric current is induced through the agency of the nervous system, and that, as human Will produces the muscular contraction requisite, so is it human Will that causes the deflection of the needle. I imagine that if this theory were substantiated by experiment, the discovery might lead to some sublime and unconjectured secrets of science. For human Will, thus actively effective on the electric current, and all matter, animate or inanimate, having more or less of electricity, a vast field became opened to conjecture. By what series of patient experimental deduction might not science arrive at the solution of problems which the Newtonian law of gravitation does not suffice to solve; and—But here I halt. At the date which my story has reached, my mind never lost itself long in the Cloudland of Guess.
This house I had lived in since I arrived in L——, and it had so many attractions for me, being in a central location that was convenient for patients yet quiet and easy to access the countryside for whatever walking or horseback riding my busy schedule allowed. I had turned down offers to move to a nicer place that would better match my increased income; however, it wasn’t a house that Mrs. Ashleigh would have approved for Lilian. The main issue in the eyes of the “upper class” was that it had once belonged to a person in the healing profession who combined an apothecary’s shop with a surgeon's diploma. But that shop made the house more appealing to me; it had been built on the side that faced the lane, taking up most of a small gravel courtyard, fenced off from the road by a low iron gate, and separated from the main part of the house by a short, narrow hallway that led to the entrance. I converted this shop into a basic study for scientific experiments, where I generally spent some early morning hours before my patients started arriving. I enjoyed the quiet that came from its separation from the rest of the house; I liked the view of the large chestnut trees that towered over the school garden wall; and I appreciated how easily I could step outside through the glass door for a quick walk in the lovely fields. I had made this sanctuary truly my own, to the extent that not only did my servant know not to disturb me while I was in there unless a patient called, but even the housekeeper was banned from entering with a broom or duster unless I specifically invited her. The last thing at night, before going to bed, my servant had to ensure that the window was closed and the gate to the iron fence was locked. However, during the day, I went out through that private way so often that the gate was rarely locked, and the glass door was seldom bolted. In the town of L——, there was little fear of burglary—especially during the day—and certainly, in this room, cut off from the main building, there was nothing that would attract a thief. A few of the old apothecary’s shelves remained on the walls, with a few bottles of chemical preparations for experiments here and there; two or three worn wooden chairs; a couple of shabby tables; an old walnut bureau without a lock, cluttered with various odds and ends; and a few unsightly mechanical gadgets were definitely not the kinds of things a cautious homeowner would protect from theft. It will become clear later why I went into such detail in my description. The morning after I had met the young stranger who had made such a strong impression on me, I was up as usual a little before sunrise, long before any of my servants were awake. I first went into the room I mentioned, which I will now refer to as my study, opened the window, unlocked the gate, and strolled for a few minutes up and down the quiet lane next to the opposite wall, shaded by chestnut trees adorned with the richness of a beautiful summer; then, feeling refreshed and ready to work, I returned to my study and soon became absorbed in examining that now-familiar device, which was still a novelty to me at the time—created, if I remember correctly, by Dubois-Reymond, renowned for his research into the complexities of organic electricity. It was a wooden cylinder fixed to the edge of a table; on the table were two vessels filled with saltwater positioned so that when you clasp the cylinder, the forefinger of each hand could dip into the water; each vessel had a metal plate and connected with wires to a galvanometer with its needle. The theory is that if you grip the cylinder tightly with your right hand while keeping the left hand completely still, the needle in the galvanometer will move from west to south; if you do the opposite, exerting the left hand while keeping the right passive, the needle will shift from west to north. Thus, it is theorized that the electric current is activated via the nervous system, and just as human Will causes the muscular contractions needed, it is also human Will that leads to the needle's deflection. I suspect that if this theory were proven through experimentation, it could uncover some grand and unimaginable secrets of science. For human Will, having such active influence on electric currents, combined with the fact that all matter, living or not, has varying degrees of electricity, presents a vast area of speculation. Through a series of meticulous experimental deductions, science might reach solutions to problems that the Newtonian law of gravitation cannot explain; and—but here I stop. At this point in my story, I didn't get lost in the clouds of speculation for long.
I was dissatisfied with my experiment. The needle stirred, indeed, but erratically, and not in directions which, according to the theory, should correspond to my movement. I was about to dismiss the trial with some uncharitable contempt of the foreign philosopher’s dogmas, when I heard a loud ring at my street-door. While I paused to conjecture whether my servant was yet up to attend to the door, and which of my patients was the most likely to summon me at so unseasonable an hour, a shadow darkened my window. I looked up, and to my astonishment beheld the brilliant face of Mr. Margrave. The sash to the door was already partially opened; he raised it higher, and walked into the room. “Was it you who rang at the street-door, and at this hour?” said I.
I was unhappy with my experiment. The needle moved, yes, but in a wild way, and not in directions that, according to the theory, should match my movement. I was about to brush off the trial with some harsh judgment of the foreign philosopher's ideas when I heard a loud ring at my front door. As I paused to wonder whether my servant was up to answer the door and which of my patients might be calling on me at such an odd hour, a shadow darkened my window. I looked up and was shocked to see the bright face of Mr. Margrave. The door was already partly open; he raised it further and walked into the room. “Was it you who rang at the front door, and at this hour?” I asked.
“Yes; and observing, after I had rung, that all the shutters were still closed, I felt ashamed of my own rash action, and made off rather than brave the reproachful face of some injured housemaid, robbed of her morning dreams. I turned down that pretty lane,—lured by the green of the chestnut-trees,—caught sight of you through the window, took courage, and here I am! You forgive me?” While thus speaking, he continued to move along the littered floor of the dingy room, with the undulating restlessness of some wild animal in the confines of its den, and he now went on, in short fragmentary sentences, very slightly linked together, but smoothed, as it were, into harmony by a voice musical and fresh as a sky lark’s warble. “Morning dreams, indeed! dreams that waste the life of such a morning. Rosy magnificence of a summer dawn! Do you not pity the fool who prefers to lie a bed, and to dream rather than to live? What! and you, strong man, with those noble limbs, in this den! Do you not long for a rush through the green of the fields, a bath in the blue of the river?”
“Yes; and after I rang the bell and saw that all the shutters were still closed, I felt embarrassed about my impulsive choice, so I slipped away rather than face the disappointed expression of some poor housemaid, robbed of her morning dreams. I took a turn down that charming lane,—drawn in by the greenery of the chestnut trees,—spotted you through the window, gathered my courage, and here I am! Do you forgive me?” While he spoke, he kept pacing across the messy floor of the dingy room, moving with the restless energy of a wild animal confined to its den. He continued in short, broken sentences, only loosely connected but somehow flowing together thanks to a voice as musical and fresh as a skylark's song. “Morning dreams, indeed! Dreams that waste such a beautiful morning. The rosy beauty of a summer dawn! Don’t you feel sorry for the fool who chooses to stay in bed and dream instead of truly living? What about you, strong man, with those noble limbs, stuck in this den! Don't you long to race through the greenery of the fields, to have a swim in the blue river?”
Here he came to a pause, standing, still in the gray light of the growing day, with eyes whose joyous lustre forestalled the sun’s, and lips which seemed to laugh even in repose.
Here he stopped, standing still in the gray light of the dawn, with eyes that sparkled joyfully before the sun appeared and lips that looked like they were smiling even while at rest.
But presently those eyes, as quick as they were bright, glanced over the walls, the floor, the shelves, the phials, the mechanical inventions, and then rested full on my cylinder fixed to the table. He approached, examined it curiously, asked what it was. I explained. To gratify him I sat down and renewed my experiment, with equally ill success. The needle, which should have moved from west to south, describing an angle of from thirty degrees to forty or even fifty degrees, only made a few troubled, undecided oscillations.
But right now those eyes, quick and bright, scanned the walls, the floor, the shelves, the bottles, the mechanical gadgets, and then focused directly on my cylinder attached to the table. He came closer, looked at it with curiosity, and asked what it was. I explained. To satisfy his curiosity, I sat down and repeated my experiment, with equally poor results. The needle, which was supposed to move from west to south, making an angle of thirty to fifty degrees, only wobbled a bit, unsure of its direction.
“Tut,” cried the young man, “I see what it is; you have a wound in your right hand.”
“Tut,” exclaimed the young man, “I see what it is; you have an injury on your right hand.”
That was true; I had burned my band a few days before in a chemical experiment, and the sore had not healed.
That was true; I had burned my hand a few days ago in a chemical experiment, and the wound hadn’t healed.
“Well,” said I, “and what does that matter?”
"Well," I said, "what does that matter?"
“Everything; the least scratch in the skin of the hand produces chemical actions on the electric current, independently of your will. Let me try.”
“Everything; even the smallest scratch on the skin of your hand triggers chemical reactions in the electric current, regardless of your intent. Let me demonstrate.”
He took my place, and in a moment the needle in the galvanometer responded to his grasp on the cylinder, exactly as the inventive philosopher had stated to be the due result of the experiment.
He took my spot, and in an instant, the needle in the galvanometer reacted to his hold on the cylinder, just as the clever thinker had described would happen as a result of the experiment.
I was startled.
I was shocked.
“But how came you, Mr. Margrave, to be so well acquainted with a scientific process little known, and but recently discovered?”
“But how did you, Mr. Margrave, become so familiar with a scientific process that is little known and has only been discovered recently?”
“I well acquainted! not so. But I am fond of all experiments that relate to animal life. Electricity, especially, is full of interest.”
“I know that well! Not really. But I enjoy all experiments that deal with animal life. Electricity, in particular, is very intriguing.”
On that I drew him out (as I thought), and he talked volubly. I was amazed to find this young man, in whose brain I had conceived thought kept one careless holiday, was evidently familiar with the physical sciences, and especially with chemistry, which was my own study by predilection. But never had I met with a student in whom a knowledge so extensive was mixed up with notions so obsolete or so crotchety. In one sentence he showed that he had mastered some late discovery by Faraday or Liebig; in the next sentence he was talking the wild fallacies of Cardan or Van Helmont. I burst out laughing at some paradox about sympathetic powders, which he enounced as if it were a recognized truth.
On that note, I got him talking (or so I thought), and he spoke eagerly. I was shocked to discover that this young man, who I had imagined was only enjoying a carefree break, was clearly well-versed in the physical sciences, particularly chemistry, which was my favorite subject. But I had never come across a student whose extensive knowledge was intertwined with such outdated or odd ideas. In one sentence, he demonstrated that he understood some recent discovery by Faraday or Liebig; in the next, he was discussing the bizarre fallacies of Cardan or Van Helmont. I couldn’t help but laugh at some absurdity about sympathetic powders, which he stated as if it were a well-accepted fact.
“Pray tell me,” said I, “who was your master in physics; for a cleverer pupil never had a more crack-brained teacher.”
“Please tell me,” I said, “who was your physics teacher; because a smarter student never had a more eccentric instructor.”
“No,” he answered, with his merry laugh, “it is not the teacher’s fault. I am a mere parrot; just cry out a few scraps of learning picked up here and there. But, however, I am fond of all researches into Nature; all guesses at her riddles. To tell you the truth, one reason why I have taken to you so heartily is not only that your published work caught my fancy in the dip which I took into its contents (pardon me if I say dip, I never do more than dip into any book), but also because young —— tells me that which all whom I have met in this town confirm; namely, that you are one of those few practical chemists who are at once exceedingly cautious and exceedingly bold,—willing to try every new experiment, but submitting experiment to rigid tests. Well, I have an experiment running wild in this giddy head of mine, and I want you, some day when at leisure, to catch it, fix it as you have fixed that cylinder, make something of it. I am sure you can.”
“No,” he replied with a cheerful laugh, “it’s not the teacher’s fault. I’m just a parrot; I only repeat a few bits of knowledge I’ve picked up here and there. But I really enjoy exploring Nature and trying to solve her mysteries. To be honest, one reason I’ve taken to you so quickly is not just that your published work intrigued me during my quick look through it (forgive me for saying 'quick look,' I never really read any book thoroughly), but also because young —— has told me, and everyone else I’ve met in this town agrees, that you’re one of those rare practical chemists who are both very careful and very bold—ready to try out new experiments, but also making sure to test those experiments thoroughly. Well, I’ve got an idea brewing in this dizzy head of mine, and I want you, when you have some free time, to grab it, refine it like you did that cylinder, and create something from it. I know you can.”
“What is it?”
"What’s that?"
“Something akin to the theories in your work. You would replenish or preserve to each special constitution the special substance that may fail to the equilibrium of its health. But you own that in a large proportion of cases the best cure of disease is less to deal with the disease itself than to support and stimulate the whole system, so as to enable Nature to cure the disease and restore the impaired equilibrium by her own agencies. Thus, if you find that in certain cases of nervous debility a substance like nitric acid is efficacious, it is because the nitric acid has a virtue in locking up, as it were, the nervous energy,—that is, preventing all undue waste. Again, in some cases of what is commonly called feverish cold, stimulants like ammonia assist Nature itself to get rid of the disorder that oppresses its normal action; and, on the same principle, I apprehend, it is contended that a large average of human lives is saved in those hospitals which have adopted the supporting system of ample nourishment and alcoholic stimulants.”
“Something similar to the theories in your work. You would provide or maintain the specific substance needed for each unique constitution that might be lacking for a balanced health. However, you acknowledge that in many cases, the best way to treat disease is not to focus on the disease itself but to support and stimulate the entire system, allowing Nature to heal the disease and restore balance using her own means. For example, if you find that in certain cases of nervous weakness a substance like nitric acid is effective, it’s because nitric acid helps retain, so to speak, the nervous energy — that is, it prevents excessive depletion. Similarly, in some instances of what’s commonly referred to as feverish cold, stimulants like ammonia help Nature eliminate the disorder that disrupts its normal function; and, based on the same principle, it is believed that a significant number of lives are saved in hospitals that use the supportive approach of providing ample nourishment and alcoholic stimulants.”
“Your medical learning surprises me,” said I, smiling; “and without pausing to notice where it deals somewhat superficially with disputable points in general, and my own theory in particular, I ask you for the deduction you draw from your premises.”
“Your medical knowledge surprises me,” I said, smiling. “And without stopping to point out where it touches on some debatable points in general, and my own theory specifically, I’d like to hear the conclusion you come to based on your premises.”
“It is simply this: that to all animate bodies, however various, there must be one principle in common,—the vital principle itself. What if there be one certain means of recruiting that principle; and what if that secret can be discovered?”
"It’s really this: that all living beings, no matter how different, must share one common principle—the vital principle itself. What if there is a specific way to restore that principle; and what if that secret can be uncovered?"
“Pshaw! The old illusion of the mediaeval empirics.”
“Pshh! The old trick of the medieval empiricists.”
“Not so. But the mediaeval empirics were great discoverers. You sneer at Van Helmont, who sought, in water, the principle of all things; but Van Helmont discovered in his search those invisible bodies called gases. Now the principle of life must be certainly ascribed to a gas.(1) And what ever is a gas chemistry should not despair of producing! But I can argue no longer now,—never can argue long at a stretch; we are wasting the morning; and, joy! the sun is up! See! Out! come out! out! and greet the great Lifegiver face to face.”
“Not at all. But the medieval empiricists were incredible discoverers. You might mock Van Helmont, who looked for the essence of everything in water; but in his quest, Van Helmont discovered those invisible substances we call gases. Now we must definitely attribute the essence of life to a gas.(1) And whatever is a gas, chemistry shouldn’t lose hope in producing! But I can’t argue any longer now—I can never argue for long; we’re wasting the morning; and, joy! the sun is up! Look! Come out! Come out! and greet the great Lifegiver face to face.”
I could not resist the young man’s invitation. In a few minutes we were in the quiet lane under the glinting chestnut-trees. Margrave was chanting, low, a wild tune,—words in a strange language.
I couldn't say no to the young man's invitation. In just a few minutes, we found ourselves in the quiet lane beneath the shining chestnut trees. Margrave was softly singing a wild tune—words in an unfamiliar language.
“What words are those,—no European language, I think; for I know a little of most of the languages which are spoken in our quarter of the globe, at least by its more civilized races.”
“What words are those? I don't think they're from any European language. I know a bit about most of the languages spoken in our part of the world, at least by its more civilized groups.”
“Civilized race! What is civilization? Those words were uttered by men who founded empires when Europe itself was not civilized! Hush, is it not a grand old air?” and lifting his eyes towards the sun, he gave vent to a voice clear and deep as a mighty bell! The air was grand; the words had a sonorous swell that suited it, and they seemed to me jubilant and yet solemn. He stopped abruptly as a path from the lane had led us into the fields, already half-bathed in sunlight, dews glittering on the hedgerows.
“Civilized race! What is civilization? Those words were spoken by men who established empires when Europe itself wasn’t civilized! Hush, isn’t it a beautiful old tune?” and lifting his eyes toward the sun, he let out a voice clear and deep like a powerful bell! The air was beautiful; the words had a rich ring that matched it, and they felt to me both joyful and serious. He suddenly stopped as a path from the lane led us into the fields, already partially soaked in sunlight, with dew sparkling on the hedges.
“Your song,” said I, “would go well with the clash of cymbals or the peal of the organ. I am no judge of melody, but this strikes me as that of a religious hymn.”
“Your song,” I said, “would fit nicely with the clash of cymbals or the sound of the organ. I’m not an expert on music, but this seems to me like a religious hymn.”
“I compliment you on the guess. It is a Persian fire-worshipper’s hymn to the sun. The dialect is very different from modern Persian. Cyrus the Great might have chanted it on his march upon Babylon.”
“I congratulate you on your guess. It’s a Persian fire-worshipper’s song to the sun. The dialect is quite different from modern Persian. Cyrus the Great might have sung it during his march on Babylon.”
“And where did you learn it?”
“And where did you learn that?”
“In Persia itself.”
"In Persia itself."
“You have travelled much, learned much,—and are so young and so fresh. Is it an impertinent question if I ask whether your parents are yet living, or are you wholly lord of yourself?”
“You’ve traveled a lot, learned a lot—and you’re so young and so vibrant. Is it rude if I ask whether your parents are still alive, or are you completely in control of your own life?”
“Thank you for the question,—pray make my answer known in the town. Parents I have not,—never had.”
“Thanks for the question—please share my answer in the town. I have no parents—I never had.”
“Never had parents!”
"Never had parents!"
“Well, I ought rather to say that no parents ever owned me. I am a natural son, a vagabond, a nobody. When I came of age I received an anonymous letter, informing me that a sum—I need not say what, but more than enough for all I need—was lodged at an English banker’s in my name; that my mother had died in my infancy; that my father was also dead—but recently; that as I was a child of love, and he was unwilling that the secret of my birth should ever be traced, he had provided for me, not by will, but in his life, by a sum consigned to the trust of the friend who now wrote to me; I need give myself no trouble to learn more. Faith, I never did! I am young, healthy, rich,—yes, rich! Now you know all, and you had better tell it, that I may win no man’s courtesy and no maiden’s love upon false pretences. I have not even a right, you see, to the name I bear. Hist! let me catch that squirrel.”
“Well, I should rather say that no parents ever really owned me. I’m a natural son, a wanderer, a nobody. When I turned eighteen, I got an anonymous letter telling me that a sum—I won’t say how much, but it’s definitely more than enough for everything I need—was held at an English bank in my name; that my mother died when I was a baby; that my father was also dead—but recently; that since I was a child of love, and he didn’t want the secret of my birth to be uncovered, he set aside money for me, not through a will, but while he was alive, given to the trust of the friend who’s now writing to me; I don’t need to bother finding out more. Honestly, I never did! I’m young, healthy, rich—yes, rich! Now you know everything, and you should share it, so I won’t gain anyone's kindness or any girl’s affection under false pretenses. I don’t even have the right, you see, to the name I carry. Shh! Let me catch that squirrel.”
With what a panther-like bound he sprang! The squirrel eluded his grasp, and was up the oak-tree; in a moment he was up the oak-tree too. In amazement I saw him rising from bough to bough; saw his bright eyes and glittering teeth through the green leaves. Presently I heard the sharp piteous cry of the squirrel, echoed by the youth’s merry laugh; and down, through that maze of green, Hargrave came, dropping on the grass and bounding up, as Mercury might have bounded with his wings at his heels.
With a leap like a panther, he sprang! The squirrel dodged him and darted up the oak tree; in an instant, he was climbing the oak tree too. I watched in amazement as he moved from branch to branch, seeing his bright eyes and shining teeth through the green leaves. Soon, I heard the sharp, distressed cry of the squirrel, followed by the young man's cheerful laughter; and down, through that tangle of green, Hargrave came, landing on the grass and bouncing up like Mercury might have with his wings at his heels.
“I have caught him. What pretty brown eyes!”
"I've caught him. What beautiful brown eyes!"
Suddenly the gay expression of his face changed to that of a savage; the squirrel had wrenched itself half-loose, and bitten him. The poor brute! In an instant its neck was wrung, its body dashed on the ground; and that fair young creature, every feature quivering with rage, was stamping his foot on his victim again and again! It was horrible. I caught him by the arm indignantly. He turned round on me like a wild beast disturbed from its prey,—his teeth set, his hand lifted, his eyes like balls of fire.
Suddenly, the cheerful look on his face turned into a fierce expression; the squirrel had managed to free itself partly and had bitten him. Poor thing! In an instant, he snapped its neck and slammed its body to the ground. That beautiful young creature, every feature trembling with anger, was stomping on his victim over and over again! It was horrifying. I grabbed him by the arm in outrage. He turned toward me like a wild animal disturbed from its catch—his teeth clenched, his hand raised, his eyes blazing like fire.
“Shame!” said I, calmly; “shame on you!”
“Shame!” I said, calmly; “shame on you!”
He continued to gaze on me a moment or so, his eye glaring, his breath panting; and then, as if mastering himself with an involuntary effort, his arm dropped to his side, and he said quite humbly, “I beg your pardon; indeed I do. I was beside myself for a moment; I cannot bear pain;” and he looked in deep compassion for himself at his wounded hand. “Venomous brute!” And he stamped again on the body of the squirrel, already crushed out of shape.
He kept staring at me for a moment, his eyes intense and his breathing heavy; then, as if regaining control with an involuntary effort, his arm fell to his side, and he said quite humbly, “I’m really sorry; I truly am. I lost it for a moment; I can’t handle pain;” and he glanced at his injured hand with deep sympathy for himself. “Vicious creature!” And he stomped again on the body of the squirrel, which was already mangled.
I moved away in disgust, and walked on.
I turned away in disgust and continued walking.
But presently I felt my arm softly drawn aside, and a voice, dulcet as the coo of a dove, stole its way into my ears. There was no resisting the charm with which this extraordinary mortal could fascinate even the hard and the cold; nor them, perhaps, the least. For as you see in extreme old age, when the heart seems to have shrunk into itself, and to leave but meagre and nipped affections for the nearest relations if grown up, the indurated egotism softens at once towards a playful child; or as you see in middle life, some misanthrope, whose nature has been soured by wrong and sorrow, shrink from his own species, yet make friends with inferior races, and respond to the caress of a dog,—so, for the worldling or the cynic, there was an attraction in the freshness of this joyous favourite of Nature,—an attraction like that of a beautiful child, spoilt and wayward, or of a graceful animal, half docile, half fierce.
But right then, I felt my arm gently pulled aside, and a voice, sweet as a dove's coo, drifted into my ears. There was no way to resist the charm that this extraordinary person could use to captivate even the toughest and most distant among us. In fact, perhaps even they felt it the most. Just like you see in very old age, when the heart seems to shrink and only leaves behind a few cold feelings for close relatives, the hardened selfishness softens instantly in the presence of a playful child. Or consider how, in middle age, a misanthrope—whose demeanor has been hardened by hurt and disappointment— recoils from others but finds companionship with lesser beings and responds to a pet's affection. Similarly, for the worldly or the cynical, there was a draw in the freshness of this joyful creature of Nature—an allure like that of a beautiful child, spoiled and willful, or a graceful animal, part tame and part wild.
“But,” said I, with a smile, as I felt all displeasure gone, “such indulgence of passion for such a trifle is surely unworthy a student of philosophy!”
“But,” I said with a smile, feeling all my annoyance disappear, “indulging in such passion over something so trivial is definitely unworthy of a philosophy student!”
“Trifle,” he said dolorously. “But I tell you it is pain; pain is no trifle. I suffer. Look!”
“Trifle,” he said sadly. “But I tell you it is pain; pain is not a trifle. I suffer. Look!”
I looked at the hand, which I took in mine. The bite no doubt had been sharp; but the hand that lay in my own was that which the Greek sculptor gives to a gladiator; not large (the extremities are never large in persons whose strength comes from the just proportion of all the members, rather than the factitious and partial force which continued muscular exertion will give to one part of the frame, to the comparative weakening of the rest), but with the firm-knit joints, the solid fingers, the finished nails, the massive palm, the supple polished skin, in which we recognize what Nature designs the human hand to be,—the skilled, swift, mighty doer of all those marvels which win Nature herself from the wilderness.
I looked at the hand, which I held in mine. The bite must have been sharp; but the hand that rested in my grasp was like that which a Greek sculptor gives to a gladiator; not large (the extremities are never big in people whose strength comes from the balanced proportion of all their parts, rather than the artificial and uneven force that constant muscular exertion will give to one area of the body, making the rest weaker), but with tight joints, solid fingers, well-shaped nails, a strong palm, and smooth polished skin, in which we see what Nature intends the human hand to be— the skilled, quick, powerful creator of all those wonders that win Nature herself from the wilderness.
“It is strange,” said I, thoughtfully; “but your susceptibility to suffering confirms my opinion, which is different from the popular belief,—namely, that pain is most acutely felt by those in whom the animal organization being perfect, and the sense of vitality exquisitely keen, every injury or lesion finds the whole system rise, as it were, to repel the mischief and communicate the consciousness of it to all those nerves which are the sentinels to the garrison of life. Yet my theory is scarcely borne out by general fact. The Indian savages must have a health as perfect as yours; a nervous system as fine,—witness their marvellous accuracy of ear, of eye, of scent, probably also of touch; yet they are indifferent to physical pain; or must I mortify your pride by saying that they have some moral quality defective in you which enables them to rise superior to it?”
“It’s strange,” I said, thinking it over; “but your sensitivity to suffering supports my view, which goes against popular belief—that pain is felt most intensely by those with a perfectly functioning body and an incredibly sharp sense of vitality. Every injury or damage triggers the whole system to react, if you will, to fight off the harm and make all the nerves that guard our life aware of it. Still, my theory isn’t really backed up by general observations. The Indian tribes must have health as perfect as yours and a nervous system just as fine—just look at their incredible accuracy of hearing, sight, smell, and probably touch; yet they seem unfazed by physical pain. Or should I hurt your pride by saying they possess some moral quality that you lack, which allows them to overcome it?”
“The Indian savages,” said Margrave, sullenly, “have not a health as perfect as mine, and in what you call vitality—the blissful consciousness of life—they are as sticks and stones compared to me.”
“The Indian savages,” Margrave said gloomily, “don’t have a health as perfect as mine, and in what you call vitality—the joyful awareness of being alive—they’re like sticks and stones compared to me.”
“How do you know?”
"How do you know?"
“Because I have lived with them. It is a fallacy to suppose that the savage has a health superior to that of the civilized man,—if the civilized man be but temperate; and even if not, he has the stamina that can resist for years the effect of excesses which would destroy the savage in a month. As to the savage’s fine perceptions of sense, such do not come from exquisite equilibrium of system, but are hereditary attributes transmitted from race to race, and strengthened by training from infancy. But is a pointer stronger and healthier than a mastiff, because the pointer through long descent and early teaching creeps stealthily to his game and stands to it motionless? I will talk of this later; now I suffer! Pain, pain! Has life any ill but pain?”
“Because I have lived with them. It's a mistake to think that savages are healthier than civilized people—if the civilized person is just moderate; and even if not, they have the endurance that can withstand years of excesses that would end the savage's life in a month. As for the savage's keen senses, those don’t come from a perfectly balanced system, but are inherited traits passed down through generations and enhanced by training from a young age. But is a pointer stronger and healthier than a mastiff just because the pointer, through a long lineage and early training, sneaks up on its prey and stands still? I’ll discuss this later; right now, I’m suffering! Pain, pain! Does life have any hurt besides pain?”
It so happened that I had about me some roots of the white lily, which I meant, before returning home, to leave with a patient suffering from one of those acute local inflammations, in which that simple remedy often affords great relief. I cut up one of these roots, and bound the cooling leaves to the wounded hand with my handkerchief.
It just so happened that I had some white lily roots with me, which I intended to leave with a patient suffering from one of those painful local inflammations, where that simple remedy can often provide significant relief. I chopped up one of the roots and wrapped the cooling leaves around the injured hand with my handkerchief.
“There,” said I. “Fortunately if you feel pain more sensibly than others, you will recover from it more quickly.” And in a few minutes my companion felt perfectly relieved, and poured out his gratitude with an extravagance of expression and a beaming delight of countenance which positively touched me.
“There,” I said. “Luckily, if you feel pain more intensely than others, you'll recover from it quicker.” In just a few minutes, my companion felt completely relieved and expressed his gratitude with such enthusiasm and a bright smile that it genuinely moved me.
“I almost feel,” said I, “as I do when I have stilled an infant’s wailing, and restored it smiling to its mother’s breast.”
“I almost feel,” I said, “like I do when I've calmed a crying baby and handed it back, smiling, to its mother.”
“You have done so. I am an infant, and Nature is my mother. Oh, to be restored to the full joy of life, the scent of wild flowers, the song of birds, and this air—summer air—summer air!”
“You’ve done that. I’m just a baby, and nature is my mother. Oh, to be back to the complete joy of life, the smell of wildflowers, the song of birds, and this air—summer air—summer air!”
I know not why it was, but at that moment, looking at him and hearing him, I rejoiced that Lilian was not at L——. “But I came out to bathe. Can we not bathe in that stream?”
I don’t know why, but at that moment, as I looked at him and listened to him, I was glad that Lilian was not at L——. “But I came out to swim. Can we swim in that stream?”
“No. You would derange the bandage round your hand; and for all bodily ills, from the least to the gravest, there is nothing like leaving Nature at rest the moment we have hit on the means which assist her own efforts at cure.”
“No. You would mess up the bandage around your hand; and for all physical issues, from the smallest to the most serious, there’s nothing better than letting Nature be once we’ve found the way to help her own healing efforts.”
“I obey, then; but I so love the water.”
“I'll obey, then; but I really love the water.”
“You swim, of course?”
"Do you swim, of course?"
“Ask the fish if it swim. Ask the fish if it can escape me! I delight to dive down—down; to plunge after the startled trout, as an otter does; and then to get amongst those cool, fragrant reeds and bulrushes, or that forest of emerald weed which one sometimes finds waving under clear rivers. Man! man! could you live but an hour of my life you would know how horrible a thing it is to die!”
“Ask the fish if it swims. Ask the fish if it can escape me! I love to dive down—down; to plunge after the startled trout, just like an otter; and then to get among those cool, fragrant reeds and bulrushes, or that forest of green weeds that sometimes sways under clear rivers. Man! Man! If you could live just an hour of my life, you would understand how terrible it is to die!”
“Yet the dying do not think so; they pass away calm and smiling, as you will one day.”
“Yet those who are dying don’t see it that way; they leave this world calm and smiling, just like you will one day.”
“I—I! die one day—die!” and he sank on the grass, and buried his face amongst the herbage, sobbing aloud.
“I—I! am going to die someday—die!” and he fell onto the grass, burying his face in the plants, sobbing loudly.
Before I could get through half a dozen words I meant to soothe, he had once more bounded up, dashed the tears from his eyes, and was again singing some wild, barbaric chant. Abstracting itself from the appeal to its outward sense by melodies of which the language was unknown, my mind soon grew absorbed in meditative conjectures on the singular nature, so wayward, so impulsive, which had forced intimacy on a man grave and practical as myself.
Before I could say a few comforting words, he jumped up again, wiped the tears from his eyes, and started singing some wild, primitive chant. Distracted from the appeal to my senses by melodies in an unfamiliar language, my mind quickly became lost in deep thoughts about the strange, unpredictable nature that had pushed someone as serious and pragmatic as me into a close relationship.
I was puzzled how to reconcile so passionate a childishness, so undisciplined a want of self-control, with an experience of mankind so extended by travel, with an education desultory and irregular indeed, but which must, at some time or other, have been familiarized to severe reasonings and laborious studies. In Margrave there seemed to be wanting that mysterious something which is needed to keep our faculties, however severally brilliant, harmoniously linked together,—as the string by which a child mechanically binds the wildflowers it gathers, shaping them at choice into the garland or the chain.
I was confused about how to reconcile such passionate childishness, such a lack of self-control, with a life experience so broad from travel, along with an education that was indeed scattered and irregular, but which must have at some point been exposed to serious reasoning and hard studies. In Margrave, there seemed to be something missing that is needed to keep our abilities, no matter how brilliant they are, connected in harmony—like the string a child uses to tie together the wildflowers they pick, shaping them into a garland or a chain as they choose.
(1) “According to the views we have mentioned, we must ascribe life to a gas, that is, to an aeriform body.”—Liebig: “Organic Chemistry,” Mayfair’s translation, p.363.—It is perhaps not less superfluous to add that Liebig does not support the views “according to which life must be ascribed to a gas,” than it would be to state, had Dugald Stewart been quoted as writing, “According to the views we have mentioned the mind is but a bundle of impressions,” that Dugald Stewart was not supporting, but opposing, the views of David Hume. The quotation is merely meant to show, in the shortest possible compass, that there are views entertained by speculative reasoners of our day which, according to Liebig, would lead to the inference at which Margrave so boldly arrives. Margrave is, however, no doubt, led to his belief by his reminiscences of Van Helmont, to whose discovery of gas he is referring. Van Helmont plainly affirms “that the arterial spirit of our life is of the nature of a gas;” and in the same chapter (on the fiction of elementary complexions and mixtures) says, “Seeing that the spirit of our life, since it is a gas, is most mightily and swiftly affected by any other gas,” etc. He repeats the same dogma in his treatise on “Long Life,” and indeed very generally throughout his writings, observing, in his chapter on the Vital Air, that the spirit of life is a salt, sharp vapour, made of the arterial blood, etc. Liebig, therefore, in confuting some modern notions as to the nature of contagion by miasma, is leading their reasonings back to that assumption in the Brawn of physiological science by which the discoverer of gas exalted into the principle of life the substance to which he first gave the name, now so familiarly known. It is nevertheless just to Van Helmont to add that his conception of the vital principle was very far from being as purely materialistic as it would seem to those unacquainted with his writings; for he carefully distinguishes that principle of life which he ascribes to a gas, and by which he means the sensuous animal life, from the intellectual immortal principle of soul. Van Helmont, indeed, was a sincere believer of Divine Revelation. “The Lord Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life,” says with earnest humility this daring genius, in that noble chapter “On the completing of the mind by the ‘prayer of silence,’ and the loving offering tip of the heart, soul, and strength to the obedience of the Divine will,” from which some of the most eloquent of recent philosophers, arguing against materialism, have borrowed largely in support and in ornament of their lofty cause.
(1) “Based on the views we've discussed, we should attribute life to a gas, which is to say, to an air-like substance.”—Liebig: “Organic Chemistry,” Mayfair’s translation, p.363.—It might also be unnecessary to mention that Liebig does not endorse the views “according to which life must be ascribed to a gas,” just as it would be to note that if Dugald Stewart were quoted as saying, “According to the views we have mentioned, the mind is just a collection of impressions,” he was not supporting but opposing the ideas of David Hume. The quote is simply meant to demonstrate, as succinctly as possible, that there are perspectives held by contemporary thinkers that, according to Liebig, would lead to the conclusion that Margrave so boldly reaches. However, Margrave is likely influenced in his belief by his memories of Van Helmont, as he refers to the discovery of gas. Van Helmont clearly states “that the vital spirit of our life is like a gas;” and in the same chapter (on the myth of elementary compositions and mixtures) says, “Since the spirit of our life, being a gas, is greatly and quickly affected by any other gas,” etc. He restates the same idea in his treatise on “Long Life” and indeed generally throughout his writings, noting in his chapter on Vital Air that the spirit of life is a sharp, salty vapor made from arterial blood, etc. Liebig, therefore, while refuting some modern ideas about contagion through miasma, is drawing their reasoning back to that foundational assumption in the early physiological science where the discoverer of gas elevated this substance, which he first named, into the principle of life. However, it’s important to note that Van Helmont's idea of the vital principle was far from purely materialistic as it might appear to those unfamiliar with his work; he carefully distinguishes the principle of life he attributes to a gas, referring to the sensory animal life, from the intellectual and immortal principle of the soul. Van Helmont was, in fact, a sincere believer in Divine Revelation. “The Lord Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life,” says this bold thinker with genuine humility, in that significant chapter “On completing the mind through the ‘prayer of silence,’ and the loving offering of the heart, soul, and strength to the obedience of the Divine will,” from which some of the most eloquent recent philosophers, arguing against materialism, have widely drawn to support and embellish their noble cause.
CHAPTER XXV.
My intercourse with Margrave grew habitual and familiar. He came to my house every morning before sunrise; in the evenings we were again brought together: sometimes in the houses to which we were both invited, sometimes at his hotel, sometimes in my own home.
My interactions with Margrave became regular and comfortable. He came to my house every morning before sunrise; in the evenings, we met again: sometimes at the places we were both invited to, sometimes at his hotel, and sometimes at my own home.
Nothing more perplexed me than his aspect of extreme youthfulness, contrasted with the extent of the travels, which, if he were to be believed, had left little of the known world unexplored. One day I asked him bluntly how old he was.
Nothing confused me more than his appearance of being incredibly young, especially when compared to the vast amount of travel he claimed to have done, which, if true, meant he had explored almost every corner of the known world. One day, I asked him directly how old he was.
“How old do I look? How old should you suppose me to be?”
“How old do I look? How old do you think I should be?”
“I should have guessed you to be about twenty, till you spoke of having come of age some years ago.”
"I should have figured you were around twenty until you mentioned that you came of age a few years back."
“Is it a sign of longevity when a man looks much younger than he is?”
“Does it mean he’ll live a long time if a man looks much younger than he actually is?”
“Conjoined with other signs, certainly!”
"Definitely combined with other signs!"
“Have I the other signs?”
“Do I have the other signs?”
“Yes, a magnificent, perhaps a matchless, constitutional organization. But you have evaded my question as to your age; was it an impertinence to put it?”
“Yes, a magnificent, maybe even unmatched, constitutional organization. But you avoided my question about your age; was it rude to ask?”
“No. I came of age—let me see—three years ago.”
“No. I turned 18—let me think—three years ago.”
“So long since? Is it possible? I wish I had your secret!”
“So long ago? Is that even possible? I wish I knew your secret!”
“Secret! What secret?”
“Secret! What’s the secret?”
“The secret of preserving so much of boyish freshness in the wear and tear of man-like passions and man-like thoughts.”
“The key to keeping so much youthful energy despite the struggles of adult desires and thoughts.”
“You are still young yourself,—under forty?”
“You're still pretty young yourself—under forty?”
“Oh, yes! some years under forty.”
“Oh, yes! A little under forty.”
“And Nature gave you a grander frame and a finer symmetry of feature than she bestowed on me.”
“And nature gave you a more impressive build and better symmetry of features than she gave me.”
“Pooh! pooh! You have the beauty that must charm the eyes of woman, and that beauty in its sunny forenoon of youth. Happy man! if you love and wish to be sure that you are loved again.”
“Pooh! pooh! You have a beauty that must captivate any woman's eyes, and that beauty is at its peak in the bright morning of youth. Lucky man! If you love and want to be sure that you are loved back.”
“What you call love—the unhealthy sentiment, the feverish folly—left behind me, I think forever, when—”
“What you call love—the unhealthy feeling, the crazy obsession—has been left behind for good, I think, when—”
“Ay, indeed,—when?”
"Yes, indeed—when?"
“I came of age!”
“I grew up!”
“Hoary cynic! and you despise love! So did I once. Your time may come.”
“Gray skeptic! You look down on love! I used to feel the same way. Your time might come.”
“I think not. Does any animal, except man, love its fellow she-animal as man loves woman?”
“I don't think so. Does any animal, other than humans, love its fellow female like a man loves a woman?”
“As man loves woman? No, I suppose not.”
“As a man loves a woman? No, I guess not.”
“And why should the subject animals be wiser than their king? But to return: you would like to have my youth and my careless enjoyment of youth?”
“And why should the animals be smarter than their king? But to get back to the point: you want my youth and my carefree enjoyment of it?”
“Can you ask,—who would not?” Margrave looked at me for a moment with unusual seriousness, and then, in the abrupt changes common to his capricious temperament, began to sing softly one of his barbaric chants,—a chant different from any I had heard him sing before, made, either by the modulation of his voice or the nature of the tune, so sweet that, little as music generally affected me, this thrilled to my very heart’s core. I drew closer and closer to him, and murmured when he paused,—
“Can you ask—who wouldn’t?” Margrave looked at me for a moment with an unusual seriousness, and then, in one of the sudden shifts typical of his unpredictable nature, started to softly sing one of his wild chants—a chant unlike any I had heard him sing before. Something about his voice or the melody made it so beautiful that, even though music usually didn’t move me, it touched me deeply. I inched closer and closer to him and whispered when he paused,—
“Is not that a love-song?”
"Isn't that a love song?"
“No;” said he, “it is the song by which the serpent-charmer charms the serpent.”
“No,” he said, “it’s the song the snake charmer uses to charm the snake.”
CHAPTER XXVI.
Increased intimacy with my new acquaintance did not diminish the charm of his society, though it brought to light some startling defects, both in his mental and moral organization. I have before said that his knowledge, though it had swept over a wide circuit and dipped into curious, unfrequented recesses, was desultory and erratic. It certainly was not that knowledge, sustained and aspiring, which the poet assures us is “the wing on which we mount to heaven.” So, in his faculties themselves there were singular inequalities, or contradictions. His power of memory in some things seemed prodigious, but when examined it was seldom accurate; it could apprehend, but did not hold together with a binding grasp what metaphysicians call “complex ideas.” He thus seemed unable to put it to any steadfast purpose in the sciences of which it retained, vaguely and loosely, many recondite principles. For the sublime and beautiful in literature he had no taste whatever. A passionate lover of nature, his imagination had no response to the arts by which nature is expressed or idealized; wholly unaffected by poetry or painting. Of the fine arts, music alone attracted and pleased him. His conversation was often eminently suggestive, touching on much, whether in books or mankind, that set one thinking; but I never remember him to have uttered any of those lofty or tender sentiments which form the connecting links between youth and genius; for if poets sing to the young, and the young hail their own interpreters in poets, it is because the tendency of both is to idealize the realities of life,—finding everywhere in the real a something that is noble or fair, and making the fair yet fairer, and the noble nobler still.
Getting closer to my new acquaintance didn’t lessen the appeal of his company, although it revealed some surprising flaws in both his thinking and character. I’ve mentioned before that his knowledge, although broad and delving into strange, less-known areas, was scattered and inconsistent. It definitely wasn’t the kind of knowledge, steady and aspiring, that the poet tells us is “the wing on which we mount to heaven.” Similarly, his abilities showed odd disparities or contradictions. His memory for certain things seemed incredible, but when scrutinized, it was usually unreliable; it could grasp concepts but didn’t hold onto what philosophers refer to as “complex ideas.” As a result, he seemed unable to apply it effectively in the sciences, from which it retained many obscure principles in a vague and loose manner. He had absolutely no appreciation for the sublime and beautiful in literature. Although he was a passionate lover of nature, his imagination didn’t respond to the arts that express or idealize nature; he was completely indifferent to poetry and painting. Among the fine arts, only music caught his interest and pleased him. His conversations were often highly thought-provoking, touching on a lot—whether related to books or humanity—that made one reflect; however, I never recall him expressing any of those lofty or tender feelings that connect youth with genius. If poets sing to the young, and the young recognize their own voice in poets, it's because both aim to idealize the realities of life—finding something noble or beautiful in the real world, and making the beautiful even more beautiful, and the noble even nobler.
In Margrave’s character there seemed no special vices, no special virtues; but a wonderful vivacity, joyousness, animal good-humour. He was singularly temperate, having a dislike to wine, perhaps from that purity of taste which belongs to health absolutely perfect. No healthful child likes alcohol; no animal, except man, prefers wine to water.
In Margrave's character, there were no notable vices or virtues; instead, he had an amazing liveliness, joyfulness, and a natural good humor. He was particularly temperate, disliking wine, possibly because of that pure taste that comes with perfect health. No healthy child enjoys alcohol; no creature, except humans, chooses wine over water.
But his main moral defect seemed to me in a want of sympathy, even where he professed attachment. He who could feel so acutely for himself, be unmanned by the bite of a squirrel, and sob at the thought that he should one day die, was as callous to the sufferings of another as a deer who deserts and butts from him a wounded comrade.
But his main moral flaw seemed to me a lack of empathy, even where he claimed to care. He who could feel so intensely for himself, be brought to tears by the bite of a squirrel, and sob at the thought of one day dying, was as indifferent to the suffering of others as a deer that abandons and attacks a wounded companion.
I give an instance of this hardness of heart where I should have least expected to find it in him.
I’ll share an example of this stubbornness where I would have least expected to see it in him.
He had met and joined me as I was walking to visit a patient on the outskirts of the town, when we fell in with a group of children, just let loose for an hour or two from their day-school. Some of these children joyously recognized him as having played with them at their homes; they ran up to him, and he seemed as glad as themselves at the meeting.
He met up with me while I was walking to see a patient on the outskirts of town, and we came across a group of kids who had just been let out of school for an hour or two. Some of the kids happily recognized him from playing at their homes; they ran up to him, and he looked just as pleased as they were to see each other.
He suffered them to drag him along with them, and became as merry and sportive as the youngest of the troop.
He let them pull him along with them and became as cheerful and playful as the youngest in the group.
“Well,” said I, laughing, “if you are going to play at leap-frog, pray don’t let it be on the high road, or you will be run over by carts and draymen; see that meadow just in front to the left,—off with you there!”
“Well,” I said, laughing, “if you’re going to play leapfrog, please don’t do it on the main road, or you’ll get run over by carts and delivery trucks; look at that meadow right in front to the left—go play there!”
“With all my heart,” cried Margrave, “while you pay your visit. Come along, boys.”
“With all my heart,” shouted Margrave, “while you’re here. Let’s go, guys.”
A little urchin, not above six years old, but who was lame, began to cry; he could not run,—he should be left behind.
A little kid, no older than six, but who was lame, started to cry; he couldn't run—he would be left behind.
Margrave stooped. “Climb on my shoulder, little one, and I’ll be your horse.”
Margrave bent down. “Hop on my shoulder, little one, and I’ll be your horse.”
The child dried its tears, and delightedly obeyed. “Certainly,” said I to myself, “Margrave, after all, must have a nature as gentle as it is simple. What other young man, so courted by all the allurements that steal innocence from pleasure, would stop in the thoroughfares to play with children?”
The child wiped away its tears and happily complied. “Of course,” I thought, “Margrave must have a nature that’s as kind as it is straightforward. What other young man, so tempted by all the distractions that take innocence away from joy, would pause in the streets to play with kids?”
The thought had scarcely passed through my mind when I heard a scream of agony. Margrave had leaped the railing that divided the meadow from the road, and, in so doing, the poor child, perched on his shoulder, had, perhaps from surprise or fright, loosened its hold and fallen heavily; its cries were piteous. Margrave clapped his hands to his ears, uttered an exclamation of anger, and not even stopping to lift up the boy, or examine what the hurt was, called to the other children to come on, and was soon rolling with them on the grass, and pelting them with daisies. When I came up, only one child remained by the sufferer,-his little brother, a year older than himself. The child had fallen on his arm, which was not broken, but violently contused. The pain must have been intense. I carried the child to his home, and had to remain there some time. I did not see Margrave till the next morning. When he then called, I felt so indignant that I could scarcely speak to him. When at last I rebuked him for his inhumanity, he seemed surprised; with difficulty remembered the circumstance, and then merely said, as if it were the most natural confession in the world,
The thought barely crossed my mind when I heard a scream of pain. Margrave had jumped over the railing that separated the meadow from the road, and while doing so, the poor child on his shoulder had, perhaps out of surprise or fear, lost their grip and fallen hard; their cries were heart-wrenching. Margrave covered his ears, yelled out in anger, and without even bothering to pick up the boy or check his injuries, called out for the other kids to join him. He soon started rolling around with them on the grass, throwing daisies at them. When I arrived, only one child stayed with the injured boy—his little brother, who was a year older. The child had fallen on his arm, which wasn’t broken but was badly bruised. The pain must have been excruciating. I carried the child home and had to stay there for a while. I didn’t see Margrave again until the next morning. When he finally came over, I felt so angry that I could hardly talk to him. When I finally confronted him about his callousness, he seemed surprised, struggled to remember what had happened, and then just said, as if it were the most normal thing in the world,
“Oh, nothing so discordant as a child’s wail. I hate discords. I am pleased with the company of children; but they must be children who laugh and play. Well, why do you look at me so sternly? What have I said to shock you?”
“Oh, there’s nothing as jarring as a child’s cry. I can’t stand jarring noises. I enjoy being around kids; but they should be kids who laugh and play. So, why are you looking at me so seriously? What did I say to upset you?”
“Shock me! you shock manhood itself! Go; I cannot talk to you now. I am busy.”
“Wow, you really shock me! You challenge everything about being a man! Just go; I can’t talk to you right now. I’m busy.”
But he did not go; and his voice was so sweet, and his ways so winning, that disgust insensibly melted into that sort of forgiveness one accords (let me repeat the illustration) to the deer that forsakes its comrade. The poor thing knows no better. And what a graceful beautiful thing this was!
But he didn't go; his voice was so sweet and his manner so charming that any disgust quietly faded into that kind of forgiveness you give (just to reiterate the comparison) to a deer that leaves its friend behind. The poor creature doesn’t understand any better. And what a graceful, beautiful thing this was!
The fascination—I can give it no other name—which Margrave exercised, was not confined to me; it was universal,—old, young, high, low, man, woman, child, all felt it. Never in Low Town had stranger, even the most distinguished by fame, met with a reception so cordial, so flattering. His frank confession that he was a natural son, far from being to his injury, served to interest people more in him, and to prevent all those inquiries in regard to his connections and antecedents which would otherwise have been afloat. To be sure, he was evidently rich,—at least he had plenty of money. He lived in the best rooms in the principal hotel; was very hospitable; entertained the families with whom he had grown intimate; made them bring their children,—music and dancing after dinner. Among the houses in which he had established familiar acquaintance was that of the mayor of the town, who had bought Dr. Lloyd’s collection of subjects in natural history. To that collection the mayor had added largely by a very recent purchase. He had arranged these various specimens, which his last acquisitions had enriched by the interesting carcasses of an elephant and a hippopotamus, in a large wooden building contiguous to his dwelling, which had been constructed by a former proprietor (a retired fox-hunter) as a riding-house; and being a man who much affected the diffusion of knowledge, he proposed to open this museum to the admiration of the general public, and, at his death, to bequeath it to the Athenaeum or Literary Institute of his native town. Margrave, seconded by the influence of the mayor’s daughters, had scarcely been three days at L—— before he had persuaded this excellent and public-spirited functionary to inaugurate the opening of his museum by the popular ceremony of a ball. A temporary corridor should unite the drawing-rooms, which were on the ground floor, with the building that contained the collection; and thus the fete would be elevated above the frivolous character of a fashionable amusement, and consecrated to the solemnization of an intellectual institute. Dazzled by the brilliancy of this idea, the mayor announced his intention to give a ball that should include the surrounding neighbourhood, and be worthy, in all expensive respects, of the dignity of himself and the occasion. A night had been fixed for the ball,—a night that became memorable indeed to me! The entertainment was anticipated with a lively interest, in which even the Hill condescended to share. The Hill did not much patronize mayors in general; but when a Mayor gave a ball for a purpose so patriotic, and on a scale so splendid, the Hill liberally acknowledged that Commerce was, on the whole, a thing which the Eminence might, now and then, condescend to acknowledge without absolutely derogating from the rank which Providence had assigned to it amongst the High Places of earth. Accordingly, the Hill was permitted by its Queen to honour the first magistrate of Low Town by a promise to attend his ball. Now, as this festivity had originated in the suggestion of Margrave, so, by a natural association of ideas, every one, in talking of the ball, talked also of Margrave.
The fascination—I can’t call it anything else—that Margrave had wasn’t just with me; it was universal—old, young, high, low, man, woman, child, everyone felt it. Never in Low Town had a stranger, even the most famous, received such a warm and flattering welcome. His honest admission that he was a natural son actually made people more interested in him and stopped all the questions about his connections and background that would have otherwise circulated. Of course, he was clearly wealthy—at least he had plenty of money. He stayed in the best rooms of the main hotel, was very welcoming, entertained the families he got close to, and had them bring their children for music and dancing after dinner. Among the homes he had become friendly with was that of the mayor, who had bought Dr. Lloyd’s collection of natural history specimens. The mayor had recently expanded this collection with new purchases, including the impressive remains of an elephant and a hippopotamus, which he displayed in a large wooden building next to his house that had originally been built by a former owner (a retired fox-hunter) as a riding house. Being a man who cared about spreading knowledge, he wanted to open this museum for the public to enjoy and, upon his death, bequeath it to the Athenaeum or Literary Institute of his hometown. With the help of the mayor’s daughters, Margrave barely spent three days in L—— before he convinced this great civic-minded official to kick off the museum’s opening with the popular event of a ball. A temporary corridor would connect the drawing rooms on the ground floor to the building housing the collection, making the event elevated beyond a trivial party and dedicated to the celebration of an intellectual institute. Captivated by the brilliance of this idea, the mayor announced his plan to host a ball that would include the surrounding neighborhood and be grand enough to reflect his dignity and the occasion. A date was set for the ball—a night that truly became memorable for me! The event was eagerly anticipated, even drawing interest from the Hill. The Hill usually didn't pay much attention to mayors, but when a mayor hosted a ball for such a noble cause and on such a grand scale, the Hill recognized that Commerce was something the Eminence could occasionally acknowledge without really lowering its status among the High Places of earth. Therefore, the Hill was allowed by its Queen to honor the mayor of Low Town with a promise to attend his ball. So, since this celebration had originated from Margrave’s suggestion, naturally, everyone talked not only about the ball but also about Margrave.
The Hill had at first affected to ignore a stranger whose debut had been made in the mercantile circle of Low Town. But the Queen of the Hill now said, sententiously, “This new man in a few days has become a Celebrity. It is the policy of the Hill to adopt Celebrities, if the Celebrities pay respect to the Proprieties. Dr. Fenwick is requested to procure Mr. Margrave the advantage of being known to the Hill.”
The Hill initially pretended to ignore a newcomer who had just entered the business scene in Low Town. But the Queen of the Hill now stated, “This new guy has quickly become a Celebrity. The Hill likes to welcome Celebrities, as long as they respect the norms. Dr. Fenwick is asked to help Mr. Margrave get acquainted with the Hill.”
I found it somewhat difficult to persuade Margrave to accept the Hill’s condescending overture. He seemed to have a dislike to all societies pretending to aristocratic distinction,—a dislike expressed with a fierceness so unwonted, that it made one suppose he had, at some time or other, been subjected to mortification by the supercilious airs that blow upon heights so elevated. However, he yielded to my instances, and accompanied me one evening to Mrs. Poyntz’s house. The Hill was encamped there for the occasion. Mrs. Poyntz was exceedingly civil to him, and after a few commonplace speeches, hearing that he was fond of music, consigned him to the caressing care of Miss Brabazon, who was at the head of the musical department in the Queen of the Hill’s administration.
I found it pretty hard to convince Margrave to go along with the Hill's patronizing invitation. He seemed to really dislike any groups that acted like they were better than everyone else—a dislike shown with such intensity that it made me think he had, at some point, been embarrassed by the arrogant attitudes that come from people at such high levels. However, he eventually gave in to my requests and joined me one evening at Mrs. Poyntz’s house. The Hill was set up there for the event. Mrs. Poyntz was very polite to him, and after a few small talk exchanges, finding out that he liked music, she handed him over to the affectionate attention of Miss Brabazon, who was in charge of the music for the Queen of the Hill’s administration.
Mrs. Poyntz retired to her favourite seat near the window, inviting me to sit beside her; and while she knitted in silence, in silence my eye glanced towards Margrave, in the midst of the group assembled round the piano.
Mrs. Poyntz settled into her favorite spot by the window, inviting me to sit next to her; and while she knitted quietly, my gaze silently drifted toward Margrave, who was among the group gathered around the piano.
Whether he was in more than usually high spirits, or whether he was actuated by a malign and impish desire to upset the established laws of decorum by which the gayeties of the Hill were habitually subdued into a serene and somewhat pensive pleasantness, I know not; but it was not many minutes before the orderly aspect of the place was grotesquely changed.
Whether he was in unusually high spirits or driven by a mischievous urge to disrupt the usual rules of decorum that kept the festivities on the Hill calm and somewhat reflective, I can’t say; but it wasn’t long before the neat appearance of the place was absurdly altered.
Miss Brabazon having come to the close of a complicated and dreary sonata, I heard Margrave abruptly ask her if she could play the Tarantella, that famous Neapolitan air which is founded on the legendary belief that the bite of the tarantula excites an irresistible desire to dance. On that highbred spinster’s confession that she was ignorant of the air, and had not even heard of the legend, Margrave said, “Let me play it to you, with variations of my own.” Miss Brabazon graciously yielded her place at the instrument. Margrave seated himself,—there was great curiosity to hear his performance. Margrave’s fingers rushed over the keys, and there was a general start, the prelude was so unlike any known combination of harmonious sounds. Then he began a chant—song I can scarcely call it—words certainly not in Italian, perhaps in some uncivilized tongue, perhaps in impromptu gibberish. And the torture of the instrument now commenced in good earnest: it shrieked, it groaned, wilder and noisier. Beethoven’s Storm, roused by the fell touch of a German pianist, were mild in comparison; and the mighty voice, dominating the anguish of the cracking keys, had the full diapason of a chorus. Certainly I am no judge of music, but to my ear the discord was terrific,—to the ears of better informed amateurs it seemed ravishing. All were spellbound; even Mrs. Poyntz paused from her knitting, as the Fates paused from their web at the lyre of Orpheus. To this breathless delight, however, soon succeeded a general desire for movement. To my amazement, I beheld these formal matrons and sober fathers of families forming themselves into a dance, turbulent as a children’s ball at Christmas; and when, suddenly desisting from his music, Margrave started up, caught the skeleton hand of lean Miss Brabazon, and whirled her into the centre of the dance, I could have fancied myself at a witch’s sabbat. My eye turned in scandalized alarm towards Mrs. Poyntz. That great creature seemed as much astounded as myself. Her eyes were fixed on the scene in a stare of positive stupor. For the first time, no doubt, in her life, she was overcome, deposed, dethroned. The awe of her presence was literally whirled away. The dance ceased as suddenly as it had begun. Darting from the galvanized mummy whom he had selected as his partner, Margrave shot to Mrs. Poyntz’s side, and said, “Ten thousand pardons for quitting you so soon, but the clock warns me that I have an engagement elsewhere.” In another moment he was gone.
Miss Brabazon had just finished a complicated and dull sonata when I heard Margrave abruptly ask her if she could play the Tarantella, that famous Neapolitan tune based on the legendary belief that the bite of a tarantula creates an irresistible urge to dance. When the dignified spinster admitted she was unfamiliar with the piece and had never heard of the legend, Margrave responded, “Let me play it for you, with a few variations of my own.” Miss Brabazon graciously gave up her spot at the piano. Margrave took his seat—everyone was curious to hear him perform. His fingers flew over the keys, and there was a collective jolt as the prelude differed so much from any familiar combination of harmonious sounds. Then he began a chant—song is hardly the right word—certainly not in Italian, perhaps in some primitive language, maybe even improvised nonsense. The torture of the instrument now began in earnest: it shrieked, it groaned, becoming wilder and louder. Beethoven’s Storm, stirred by a German pianist, seemed mild in comparison, and the powerful voice that dominated the agony of the breaking keys was as full as a choir. I am no expert in music, but to me, the dissonance was horrific—to more informed listeners, it seemed enchanting. Everyone was transfixed; even Mrs. Poyntz paused from her knitting, as the Fates stopped spinning their web at the lyre of Orpheus. However, this breathless enjoyment soon turned into a collective urge to move. To my surprise, I watched these formal matrons and serious family men start dancing, wild as a children’s party at Christmas; and when Margrave suddenly stopped playing, grabbed the bony hand of lean Miss Brabazon, and spun her into the center of the dance, I could have sworn I was at a witch’s gathering. I glanced towards Mrs. Poyntz in shocked alarm. She looked just as stunned as I was. Her eyes were fixed on the scene in a state of disbelief. For the first time, no doubt, in her life, she was overwhelmed, dethroned. The gravity of her presence was literally swept away. The dance stopped as suddenly as it began. Breaking away from the rigid figure he had chosen as his partner, Margrave rushed to Mrs. Poyntz’s side and said, “Ten thousand apologies for leaving you so soon, but the clock reminds me I have another commitment.” In just a moment, he was gone.
The dance halted, people seemed slowly returning to their senses, looking at each other bashfully and ashamed.
The dance stopped, and people slowly began to regain their senses, glancing at each other shyly and with embarrassment.
“I could not help it, dear,” sighed Miss Brabazon at last, sinking into a chair, and casting her deprecating, fainting eyes upon the hostess.
“I couldn't help it, dear,” sighed Miss Brabazon at last, sinking into a chair and casting her apologetic, faint eyes on the hostess.
“It is witchcraft,” said fat Mrs. Bruce, wiping her forehead.
“It’s witchcraft,” said plump Mrs. Bruce, wiping her forehead.
“Witchcraft!” echoed Mrs. Poyntz; “it does indeed look like it. An amazing and portentous exhibition of animal spirits, and not to be endured by the Proprieties. Where on earth can that young savage have come from?”
“Witchcraft!” Mrs. Poyntz exclaimed; “it really seems like it. An incredible and ominous display of animal spirits, and absolutely unacceptable by the standards of propriety. Where on earth could that young wild child have come from?”
“From savage lands,” said I,—“so he says.”
“From savage lands,” I said, “that’s what he claims.”
“Do not bring him here again,” said Mrs. Poyntz. “He would soon turn the Hill topsy-turvy. But how charming! I should like to see more of him,” she added, in an under voice, “if he would call on me some morning, and not in the presence of those for whose Proprieties I am responsible. Jane must be out in her ride with the colonel.”
“Don’t bring him here again,” said Mrs. Poyntz. “He would quickly turn everything upside down. But how delightful! I’d love to see more of him,” she added quietly, “if he could come by one morning, without those whose behavior I have to manage around. Jane must be out riding with the colonel.”
Margrave never again attended the patrician festivities of the Hill. Invitations were poured upon him, especially by Miss Brabazon and the other old maids, but in vain.
Margrave never attended the upscale events in the Hill again. Invitations flooded in, especially from Miss Brabazon and the other single ladies, but it was all for nothing.
“Those people,” said he, “are too tamed and civilized for me; and so few young persons among them. Even that girl Jane is only young on the surface; inside, as old as the World or her mother. I like youth, real youth,—I am young, I am young!”
“Those people,” he said, “are too tamed and civilized for me; and there are so few young people among them. Even that girl Jane seems young on the outside; inside, she’s as old as the World or her mother. I like youth, real youth—I am young, I am young!”
And, indeed, I observed he would attach himself to some young person, often to some child, as if with cordial and special favour, yet for not more than an hour or so, never distinguishing them by the same preference when he next met them. I made that remark to him, in rebuke of his fickleness, one evening when he had found me at work on my Ambitious Book, reducing to rule and measure the Laws of Nature.
And, in fact, I noticed that he would connect with some young person, often a child, as if showing them special favor, but only for about an hour or so, never treating them with the same preference the next time he saw them. I pointed this out to him one evening when he found me working on my Ambitious Book, trying to categorize the Laws of Nature.
“It is not fickleness,” said he,—“it is necessity.”
“It’s not being fickle,” he said, “it’s necessity.”
“Necessity! Explain yourself.”
"Necessity! Justify yourself."
“I seek to find what I have not found,” said he; “it is my necessity to seek it, and among the young; and disappointed in one, I turn to the other. Necessity again. But find it at last I must.”
“I’m looking for what I haven’t found,” he said. “I have to search for it, especially among the young; when I’m let down by one, I turn to the next. It’s a necessity again. But I have to find it eventually.”
“I suppose you mean what the young usually seek in the young; and if, as you said the other day, you have left love behind you, you now wander back to re-find it.”
“I guess you mean what young people typically look for in each other; and if, as you mentioned the other day, you've moved on from love, you’re now going back to find it again.”
“Tush! If I may judge by the talk of young fools, love may be found every day by him who looks out for it. What I seek is among the rarest of all discoveries. You might aid me to find it, and in so doing aid yourself to a knowledge far beyond all that your formal experiments can bestow.”
“Tush! If I go by what young fools say, love can be found every day by anyone who looks for it. What I’m after is one of the rarest discoveries of all. You could help me find it, and in doing so, gain knowledge that's far beyond what your official studies can offer.”
“Prove your words, and command my services,” said I, smiling somewhat disdainfully.
“Prove what you say, and I'll work for you,” I said, smiling a bit contemptuously.
“You told me that you had examined into the alleged phenomena of animal magnetism, and proved some persons who pretend to the gift which the Scotch call second sight to be bungling impostors. You were right. I have seen the clairvoyants who drive their trade in this town; a common gipsy could beat them in their own calling. But your experience must have shown you that there are certain temperaments in which the gift of the Pythoness is stored, unknown to the possessor, undetected by the common observer; but the signs of which should be as apparent to the modern physiologist, as they were to the ancient priest.”
“You told me that you had looked into the claims of animal magnetism and exposed some people who say they have what the Scots call second sight as total fakes. You were right. I've seen the clairvoyants operating in this town; a regular gypsy could outdo them. But your experience must have shown you that there are certain temperaments where the gift of the Pythoness is hidden, unknown to the person who has it, and not noticed by the average observer; yet the signs should be as clear to today's physiologist as they were to ancient priests.”
“I at least, as a physiologist, am ignorant of the signs: what are they?”
“I, as a physiologist, don’t know what the signs are: what are they?”
“I should despair of making you comprehend them by mere verbal description. I could guide your observation to distinguish them unerringly were living subjects before us. But not one in a million has the gift to an extent available for the purposes to which the wise would apply it. Many have imperfect glimpses; few, few indeed, the unveiled, lucent sight. They who have but the imperfect glimpses mislead and dupe the minds that consult them, because, being sometimes marvellously right, they excite a credulous belief in their general accuracy; and as they are but translators of dreams in their own brain, their assurances are no more to be trusted than are the dreams of commonplace sleepers. But where the gift exists to perfection, he who knows how to direct and to profit by it should be able to discover all that he desires to know for the guidance and preservation of his own life. He will be forewarned of every danger, forearmed in the means by which danger is avoided. For the eye of the true Pythoness matter has no obstruction, space no confines, time no measurement.”
“I would despair of helping you understand them just through words. I could help you see them clearly if we had living subjects in front of us. But hardly anyone has the ability to a degree that would be useful for what the wise would use it for. Many get imperfect glimpses; only a very few, indeed, have clear and unveiled insight. Those who only have imperfect glimpses mislead and deceive those who consult them because, since they are sometimes astonishingly accurate, they create a naive belief in their overall correctness; and because they are merely interpreting dreams from their own minds, their claims are no more reliable than the dreams of ordinary sleepers. However, when the ability is fully developed, someone who knows how to harness it should be able to uncover everything they need to know for their guidance and protection. They will be warned about every danger and equipped with the means to avoid it. For the true seer, there are no barriers to understanding; space has no limits, and time is immeasurable.”
“My dear Margrave, you may well say that creatures so gifted are rare; and, for my part, I would as soon search for a unicorn, as, to use your affected expression, for a Pythoness.”
“My dear Margrave, you could say that beings with such gifts are rare; and for me, I’d just as soon look for a unicorn as, to use your pretentious term, a seeress.”
“Nevertheless, whenever there come across the course of your practice some young creature to whom all the evil of the world is as yet unknown, to whom the ordinary cares and duties of the world are strange and unwelcome; who from the earliest dawn of reason has loved to sit apart and to muse; before whose eyes visions pass unsolicited; who converses with those who are not dwellers on the earth, and beholds in the space landscapes which the earth does not reflect—”
“Still, whenever you encounter a young person in your practice who is completely unaware of the world's evils, who finds the usual worries and responsibilities strange and unwelcome; who has, from a very early age, enjoyed sitting alone and daydreaming; who sees visions that come uninvited; who talks to those not living on Earth, and sees landscapes in the sky that the Earth doesn’t show—”
“Margrave, Margrave! of whom do you speak?”
“Margrave, Margrave! Who are you talking about?”
“Whose frame, though exquisitely sensitive, has still a health and a soundness in which you recognize no disease; whose mind has a truthfulness that you know cannot deceive you, and a simple intelligence too clear to deceive itself; who is moved to a mysterious degree by all the varying aspects of external nature,—innocently joyous, or unaccountably sad,—when, I say, such a being comes across your experience, inform me; and the chances are that the true Pythoness is found.”
“Whose frame, though remarkably sensitive, still has a health and soundness that show no signs of illness; whose mind has a honesty that you know won’t mislead you, and a straightforward intelligence that is too clear to mislead itself; who is mysteriously affected by all the changing aspects of the outside world—innocently joyful or inexplicably sad—when, I say, such a being comes into your life, let me know; and it’s likely that you have found the true seer.”
I had listened with vague terror, and with more than one exclamation of amazement, to descriptions which brought Lilian Ashleigh before me; and I now sat mute, bewildered, breathless, gazing upon Margrave, and rejoicing that, at least, Lilian he had never seen.
I listened with a faint sense of fear and more than a few exclamations of surprise to descriptions that brought Lilian Ashleigh to life in my mind; now I sat silent, confused, and breathless, staring at Margrave and feeling relieved that he had never seen Lilian.
He returned my own gaze steadily, searchingly, and then, breaking into a slight laugh, resumed:—
He held my gaze steadily and intently, and then, with a slight laugh, continued:—
“You call my word ‘Pythoness’ affected. I know of no better. My recollections of classic anecdote and history are confused and dim; but somewhere I have read or heard that the priests of Delphi were accustomed to travel chiefly into Thrace or Thessaly, in search of the virgins who might fitly administer their oracles, and that the oracles gradually ceased in repute as the priests became unable to discover the organization requisite in the priestesses, and supplied by craft and imposture, or by such imperfect fragmentary developments as belong now to professional clairvoyants, the gifts which Nature failed to afford. Indeed, the demand was one that mast have rapidly exhausted so limited a supply. The constant strain upon faculties so wearying to the vital functions in their relentless exercise, under the artful stimulants by which the priests heightened their power, was mortal, and no Pythoness ever retained her life more than three years from the time that her gift was elaborately trained and developed.”
“You call my title ‘Pythoness’ pretentious. I don’t know a better term. My memories of classic stories and history are mixed up and unclear; but I’ve read or heard somewhere that the priests of Delphi used to travel mainly to Thrace or Thessaly in search of virgins who could properly deliver their oracles. Over time, the reputation of these oracles faded as the priests struggled to find the right qualities in the priestesses, relying instead on trickery or the limited abilities that now belong to professional clairvoyants, compensating for what nature didn’t provide. In fact, the demand must have quickly drained such a limited supply. The constant pressure on abilities so exhausting to the vital functions, under the clever stimulants that enhanced their power, was deadly, and no Pythoness ever lived more than three years after her gift was thoroughly trained and developed.”
“Pooh! I know of no classical authority for the details you so confidently cite. Perhaps some such legends may be found in the Alexandrian Platonists, but those mystics are no authority on such a subject. After all;” I added, recovering from my first surprise, or awe, “the Delphic oracles were proverbially ambiguous, and their responses might be read either way,—a proof that the priests dictated the verses, though their arts on the unhappy priestess might throw her into real convulsions, and the real convulsions, not the false gift, might shorten her life. Enough of such idle subjects! Yet no! one question more. If you found your Pythoness, what then?”
“Pooh! I don’t know of any classical source for the details you confidently mention. Maybe some of those legends can be found among the Alexandrian Platonists, but those mystics aren’t credible on this topic. After all,” I added, shaking off my initial surprise, “the Delphic oracles were notoriously unclear, and their answers could be interpreted in multiple ways—a sign that the priests crafted the verses, even if their techniques on the poor priestess might genuinely send her into real convulsions, which, not being a false gift, could actually shorten her life. Enough of such trivial matters! But wait! One more question: If you found your Pythoness, what would happen then?”
“What then? Why, through her aid I might discover the process of an experiment which your practical science would assist me to complete.”
"What then? Well, with her help, I might figure out the steps of an experiment that your practical science could help me finish."
“Tell me of what kind is your experiment; and precisely because such little science as I possess is exclusively practical, I may assist you without the help of the Pythoness.”
“Tell me what type of experiment you’re doing; and since my limited knowledge of science is purely practical, I can help you without needing the Oracle’s guidance.”
Margrave was silent for some minutes, passing his hand several times across his forehead, which was a frequent gesture of his, and then rising, he answered, in listless accents,—
Margrave was quiet for a few minutes, running his hand over his forehead several times, which was a common gesture for him, and then standing up, he replied in a dull tone,—
“I cannot say more now, my brain is fatigued; and you are not yet in the right mood to hear me. By the way, how close and reserved you are with me!”
“I can't say more right now, my mind is tired; and you're not really in the right mood to listen to me. By the way, you're pretty distant and reserved with me!”
“How so?”
"How come?"
“You never told me that you were engaged to be married. You leave me, who thought to have won your friendship, to hear what concerns you so intimately from a comparative stranger.”
“You never told me you were engaged to be married. You leave me, who thought I had won your friendship, to hear such personal news from someone I barely know.”
“Who told you?”
"Who said that?"
“That woman with eyes that pry and lips that scheme, to whose house you took me.”
“That woman with probing eyes and scheming lips, to whose house you took me.”
“Mrs. Poyntz! is it possible? When?”
“Mrs. Poyntz! Is that really possible? When?”
“This afternoon. I met her in the street; she stopped me, and, after some unmeaning talk, asked if I had seen you lately; if I did not find you very absent and distracted: no wonder;—you were in love. The young lady was away on a visit, and wooed by a dangerous rival.”
“This afternoon, I ran into her on the street; she stopped me and, after some meaningless small talk, asked if I had seen you recently and if I thought you seemed very absent and distracted. No surprise there—you were in love. The young lady was away visiting someone, pursued by a dangerous rival.”
“Wooed by a dangerous rival!”
“Courted by a dangerous rival!”
“Very rich, good-looking, young. Do you fear him? You turn pale.”
“Very rich, good-looking, young. Are you scared of him? You look pale.”
“I do not fear, except so far as he who loves truly, loves humbly, and fears not that another may be preferred, but that another may be worthier of preference than himself. But that Mrs. Poyntz should tell you all this does amaze me. Did she mention the name of the young lady?”
“I’m not afraid, except in the way that someone who truly loves loves quietly, and doesn’t worry that someone else might be chosen over them, but rather that someone else might deserve to be chosen more than they do. But it really surprises me that Mrs. Poyntz would share all of this with you. Did she say the name of the young lady?”
“Yes; Lilian Ashleigh. Henceforth be more frank with me. Who knows? I may help you. Adieu!”
“Yes; Lilian Ashleigh. From now on, be more honest with me. Who knows? I might be able to help you. Goodbye!”
CHAPTER XXVII.
When Margrave had gone, I glanced at the clock,—not yet nine. I resolved to go at once to Mrs. Poyntz. It was not an evening on which she received, but doubtless she would see me. She owed me an explanation. How thus carelessly divulge a secret she had been enjoined to keep; and this rival, of whom I was ignorant? It was no longer a matter of wonder that Margrave should have described Lilian’s peculiar idiosyncrasies in his sketch of his fabulous Pythoness. Doubtless Mrs. Poyntz had, with unpardonable levity of indiscretion, revealed all of which she disapproved in my choice. But for what object? Was this her boasted friendship for me? Was it consistent with the regard she professed for Mrs. Ashleigh and Lilian? Occupied by these perplexed and indignant thoughts, I arrived at Mrs. Poyntz’s house, and was admitted to her presence. She was fortunately alone; her daughter and the colonel had gone to some party on the Hill. I would not take the hand she held out to me on entrance; seated myself in stern displeasure, and proceeded at once to inquire if she had really betrayed to Mr. Margrave the secret of my engagement to Lilian.
When Margrave left, I looked at the clock—it was not yet nine. I decided to go directly to Mrs. Poyntz. It wasn’t a night she usually received guests, but I was sure she would see me. She owed me an explanation. How could she so carelessly reveal a secret she had been told to keep? And what about this rival I didn’t know about? It was no longer surprising that Margrave had described Lilian’s unique quirks in his elaborate portrayal of his mythical Pythoness. Clearly, Mrs. Poyntz had, with unforgivable carelessness, disclosed everything she disapproved of in my choice. But what was her motive? Was this her so-called friendship for me? Did it align with the regard she claimed to have for Mrs. Ashleigh and Lilian? Caught up in these confusing and angry thoughts, I reached Mrs. Poyntz’s house and was shown into her room. Luckily, she was alone; her daughter and the colonel had gone to some party on the Hill. I didn’t take the hand she offered me upon entering; I sat down in stern silence and immediately asked if she had truly betrayed my engagement to Lilian to Mr. Margrave.
“Yes, Allen Fenwick; I have this day told, not only Mr. Margrave, but every person I met who is likely to tell it to some one else, the secret of your engagement to Lilian Ashleigh. I never promised to conceal it; on the contrary, I wrote word to Anne Ashleigh that I would therein act as my own judgment counselled me. I think my words to you were that ‘public gossip was sometimes the best security for the completion of private engagements.’”
“Yes, Allen Fenwick; today I informed not only Mr. Margrave but also everyone I came across who might share it with someone else about your engagement to Lilian Ashleigh. I never promised to keep it a secret; in fact, I told Anne Ashleigh that I would act according to my own judgment. I believe I mentioned to you that ‘public gossip can sometimes be the best guarantee for the fulfillment of private engagements.’”
“Do you mean that Mrs. or Miss Ashleigh recoils from the engagement with me, and that I should meanly compel them both to fulfil it by calling in the public to censure them—if—if—Oh, madam, this is worldly artifice indeed!”
“Are you saying that Mrs. or Miss Ashleigh is backing out of the engagement with me, and that I should shamefully force them both to go through with it by bringing the public in to judge them—if—if—Oh, madam, this is truly a clever manipulation!”
“Be good enough to listen to me quietly. I have never yet showed you the letter to Mrs. Ashleigh, written by Lady Haughton, and delivered by Mr. Vigors. That letter I will now show to you; but before doing so I must enter into a preliminary explanation. Lady Haughton is one of those women who love power, and cannot obtain it except through wealth and station,—by her own intellect never obtain it. When her husband died she was reduced from an income of twelve thousand a year to a jointure of twelve hundred, but with the exclusive guardianship of a young son, a minor, and adequate allowances for the charge; she continued, therefore, to preside as mistress over the establishments in town and country; still had the administration of her son’s wealth and rank. She stinted his education, in order to maintain her ascendancy over him. He became a brainless prodigal, spendthrift alike of health and fortune. Alarmed, she saw that, probably, he would die young and a beggar; his only hope of reform was in marriage. She reluctantly resolved to marry him to a penniless, well-born, soft-minded young lady whom she knew she could control; just before this marriage was to take place he was killed by a fall from his horse. The Haughton estate passed to his cousin, the luckiest young man alive,—the same Ashleigh Sumner who had already succeeded, in default of male issue, to poor Gilbert Ashleigh’s landed possessions. Over this young man Lady Haughton could expect no influence. She would be a stranger in his house. But she had a niece! Mr. Vigors assured her the niece was beautiful. And if the niece could become Mrs. Ashleigh Sumner, then Lady Haughton would be a less unimportant Nobody in the world, because she would still have her nearest relation in a Somebody at Haughton Park. Mr. Vigors has his own pompous reasons for approving an alliance which he might help to accomplish. The first step towards that alliance was obviously to bring into reciprocal attraction the natural charms of the young lady and the acquired merits of the young gentleman. Mr. Vigors could easily induce his ward to pay a visit to Lady Haughton, and Lady Haughton had only to extend her invitations to her niece; hence the letter to Mrs. Ashleigh, of which Mr. Vigors was the bearer, and hence my advice to you, of which you can now understand the motive. Since you thought Lilian Ashleigh the only woman you could love, and since I thought there were other women in the world who might do as well for Ashleigh Sumner, it seemed to me fair for all parties that Lilian should not go to Lady Haughton’s in ignorance of the sentiments with which she had inspired you. A girl can seldom be sure that she loves until she is sure that she is loved. And now,” added Mrs. Poyntz, rising and walking across the room to her bureau,—“now I will show you Lady Haughton’s invitation to Mrs. Ashleigh. Here it is!”
“Please listen to me quietly. I've never shown you the letter to Mrs. Ashleigh, written by Lady Haughton and delivered by Mr. Vigors. I'm going to show it to you now, but first, I need to explain a few things. Lady Haughton is one of those women who crave power but can only get it through wealth and status—she can't gain it from her own intellect. When her husband died, her income dropped from twelve thousand a year to a jointure of twelve hundred, but she retained full guardianship over her young son, who was still a minor, along with sufficient allowances for his care. So, she continued to run both their city and country homes and managed her son's wealth and status. She limited his education to keep control over him. As a result, he became a foolish spendthrift, wasting both his health and fortune. Worried that he might die young and broke, she believed his only chance for reform was marriage. Reluctantly, she decided to marry him off to a wealthy but soft-minded young lady she knew she could manipulate. Just before the wedding, he was killed in a horse fall. The Haughton estate went to his cousin, the luckiest young man around—Ashleigh Sumner, who had already inherited poor Gilbert Ashleigh's land in the absence of male heirs. Lady Haughton knew she would have no influence over this young man and would be seen as an outsider in his home. But she had a niece! Mr. Vigors assured her that the niece was beautiful. If the niece could marry Mr. Ashleigh Sumner, it would elevate Lady Haughton's status, since her relative would be someone important at Haughton Park. Mr. Vigors had his own self-serving reasons to support this alliance he hoped to facilitate. The first step was clearly to create mutual attraction between the young woman’s natural charms and the young man’s acquired qualities. Mr. Vigors could easily persuade his ward to visit Lady Haughton, and Lady Haughton just needed to invite her niece; that’s how the letter to Mrs. Ashleigh, which Mr. Vigors delivered, came to be, and that’s the reason I’m advising you now. Since you thought Lilian Ashleigh was the only woman you could love, and I believed there were others who could be just as good for Ashleigh Sumner, it felt fair to ensure that Lilian wouldn’t go to Lady Haughton’s without knowing how you felt about her. A girl can rarely be certain she loves someone until she knows she is loved in return. And now,” Mrs. Poyntz said as she rose and walked to her bureau, “I’ll show you Lady Haughton’s invitation to Mrs. Ashleigh. Here it is!”
I ran my eye over the letter, which she thrust into my hand, resuming her knitting-work while I read.
I glanced at the letter she shoved into my hand, picking up her knitting again as I read.
The letter was short, couched in conventional terms of hollow affection. The writer blamed herself for having so long neglected her brother’s widow and child; her heart had been wrapped up too much in the son she had lost; that loss had made her turn to the ties of blood still left to her; she had heard much of Lilian from their common friend, Mr. Vigors; she longed to embrace so charming a niece. Then followed the invitation and the postscript. The postscript ran thus, so far as I can remember:—
The letter was brief, filled with the usual empty expressions of affection. The writer took responsibility for neglecting her brother’s widow and child for so long; she had been too focused on the son she lost. That loss had caused her to reconnect with the family ties she still had. She had heard a lot about Lilian from their mutual friend, Mr. Vigors, and she was eager to embrace such a lovely niece. Then came the invitation and the postscript. The postscript went something like this, as far as I can recall:—
“Whatever my own grief at my irreparable bereavement, I am no egotist; I keep my sorrow to myself. You will find some pleasant guests at my house, among others our joint connection, young Ashleigh Sumner.”
“No matter how much I mourn my great loss, I’m not self-centered; I keep my sadness to myself. You’ll find some nice guests at my house, including our mutual friend, young Ashleigh Sumner.”
“Woman’s postscripts are proverbial for their significance,” said Mrs. Poyntz, when I had concluded the letter and laid it on the table; “and if I did not at once show you this hypocritical effusion, it was simply because at the name Ashleigh Sumner its object became transparent, not perhaps to poor Anne Ashleigh nor to innocent Lilian, but to my knowledge of the parties concerned, as it ought to be to that shrewd intelligence which you derive partly from nature, partly from the insight into life which a true physician cannot fail to acquire. And if I know anything of you, you would have romantically said, had you seen the letter at first, and understood its covert intention, ‘Let me not shackle the choice of the woman I love, and to whom an alliance so coveted in the eyes of the world might, if she were left free, be proffered.’”
“Women’s postscripts are famous for their importance,” said Mrs. Poyntz when I finished the letter and put it on the table. “If I didn’t immediately show you this insincere message, it’s simply because when I saw the name Ashleigh Sumner, its purpose became clear—not perhaps to poor Anne Ashleigh or innocent Lilian, but to my understanding of the people involved, as it should be to that sharp intelligence you possess, stemming partly from your nature and partly from the insight into life that a true physician inevitably gains. And if I know you at all, you would have romantically said, if you had seen the letter at first and grasped its hidden intention, ‘I won’t restrict the choice of the woman I love, and an alliance that’s so desirable in the eyes of the world might, if she were left free, be offered to her.’”
“I should not have gathered from the postscript all that you see in it; but had its purport been so suggested to me, you are right, I should have so said. Well, and as Mr. Margrave tells me that you informed him that I have a rival, I am now to conclude that the rival is Mr. Ashleigh Sumner?”
“I shouldn’t have inferred all that from the postscript; but if that’s what it meant, you’re right, I would have said so. Well, since Mr. Margrave told me you mentioned I have a rival, I now assume that the rival is Mr. Ashleigh Sumner?”
“Has not Mrs. Ashleigh or Lilian mentioned him in writing to you?”
“Hasn't Mrs. Ashleigh or Lilian mentioned him in writing to you?”
“Yes, both; Lilian very slightly, Mrs. Ashleigh with some praise, as a young man of high character, and very courteous to her.”
“Yes, both; Lilian very slightly, and Mrs. Ashleigh with some praise, describing him as a young man of strong character and very courteous to her.”
“Yet, though I asked you to come and tell me who were the guests at Lady Haughton’s, you never did so.”
“Yet, even though I asked you to come and tell me who the guests at Lady Haughton’s were, you never did.”
“Pardon me; but of the guests I thought nothing, and letters addressed to my heart seemed to me too sacred to talk about. And Ashleigh Sumner then courts Lilian! How do you know?”
“Excuse me; but I didn’t think about the guests at all, and letters meant for my heart felt too precious to discuss. And Ashleigh Sumner is dating Lilian! How do you know?”
“I know everything that concerns me; and here, the explanation is simple. My aunt, Lady Delafield, is staying with Lady Haughton. Lady Delafield is one of the women of fashion who shine by their own light; Lady Haughton shines by borrowed light, and borrows every ray she can find.”
“I know everything that involves me, and the explanation is straightforward. My aunt, Lady Delafield, is visiting Lady Haughton. Lady Delafield is one of those fashionable women who radiate their own brilliance; Lady Haughton, on the other hand, shines by relying on others and takes every bit of light she can find.”
“And Lady Delafield writes you word—”
“And Lady Delafield writes to you—”
“That Ashleigh Sumner is caught by Lilian’s beauty.”
“That Ashleigh Sumner is captivated by Lilian’s beauty.”
“And Lilian herself—”
“And Lilian herself—”
“Women like Lady Delafield do not readily believe that any girl could refuse Ashleigh Sumner; considered in himself, he is steady and good-looking; considered as owner of Kirby Hall and Haughton Park, he has, in the eyes of any sensible mother, the virtues of Cato and the beauty of Antinous.”
“Women like Lady Delafield find it hard to believe that any girl could turn down Ashleigh Sumner; on his own, he’s reliable and attractive; as the owner of Kirby Hall and Haughton Park, he has, in the eyes of any sensible mother, the qualities of Cato and the looks of Antinous.”
I pressed my hand to my heart; close to my heart lay a letter from Lilian, and there was no word in that letter which showed that her heart was gone from mine. I shook my head gently, and smiled in confiding triumph.
I pressed my hand to my heart; close to my heart was a letter from Lilian, and there wasn't a word in that letter indicating that her heart had drifted away from mine. I shook my head softly and smiled in a trusting triumph.
Mrs. Poyntz surveyed me with a bent brow and a compressed lip.
Mrs. Poyntz looked at me with a furrowed brow and pursed lips.
“I understand your smile,” she said ironically. “Very likely Lilian may be quite untouched by this young man’s admiration, but Anne Ashleigh may be dazzled by so brilliant a prospect for her daughter; and, in short, I thought it desirable to let your engagement be publicly known throughout the town to-day. That information will travel; it will reach Ashleigh Sumner through Mr. Vigors, or others in this neighbourhood, with whom I know that he corresponds. It will bring affairs to a crisis, and before it may be too late. I think it well that Ashleigh Sumner should leave that house; if he leave it for good, so much the better. And, perhaps, the sooner Lilian returns to L—— the lighter your own heart will be.”
“I get your smile,” she said sarcastically. “Lilian likely isn't affected by this young guy’s admiration at all, but Anne Ashleigh might be impressed by such a bright future for her daughter. And, frankly, I thought it best to make your engagement known throughout the town today. That news will spread; it’ll reach Ashleigh Sumner through Mr. Vigors or others in this area that I know he’s in touch with. It will force things to a head, and we might need to act before it’s too late. I think it would be good for Ashleigh Sumner to leave that house; if he leaves for good, even better. And, maybe, the sooner Lilian goes back to L——, the lighter your own heart will feel.”
“And for these reasons you have published the secret of—”
“And for these reasons, you have revealed the secret of—”
“Your engagement? Yes. Prepare to be congratulated wherever you go. And now if you hear either from mother or daughter that Ashleigh Sumner has proposed, and been, let us say, refused, I do not doubt that, in the pride of your heart, you will come and tell me.”
“Your engagement? Yes. Get ready to receive congratulations everywhere you go. And now, if you hear from either your mother or daughter that Ashleigh Sumner has proposed and, let's say, has been turned down, I have no doubt that with pride in your heart, you will come and share the news with me.”
“Rely upon it, I will; but before I take leave, allow me to ask why you described to a young man like Mr. Margrave—, whose wild and strange humours you have witnessed and not approved—any of those traits of character in Miss Ashleigh which distinguish her from other girls of her age?”
“Count on me, I will; but before I go, let me ask why you shared with a young man like Mr. Margrave—whose wild and odd behaviors you have seen and don’t approve of—any of those qualities in Miss Ashleigh that set her apart from other girls her age?”
“I? You mistake. I said nothing to him of her character. I mentioned her name, and said she was beautiful, that was all.”
“I? You’re mistaken. I didn’t say anything to him about her character. I just mentioned her name and said she was beautiful, and that was it.”
“Nay, you said that she was fond of musing, of solitude; that in her fancies she believed in the reality of visions which might flit before her eyes as they flit before the eyes of all imaginative dreamers.”
“Nah, you said she liked to think deeply and be alone; that in her imagination she believed in the reality of visions that could dance before her eyes like they do for all creative dreamers.”
“Not a word did I say to Mr. Margrave of such peculiarities in Lilian; not a word more than what I have told you, on my honour!”
“Not a word did I say to Mr. Margrave about any of Lilian's strange behavior; not a word beyond what I've told you, I promise!”
Still incredulous, but disguising my incredulity with that convenient smile by which we accomplish so much of the polite dissimulation indispensable to the decencies of civilized life, I took my departure, returned home, and wrote to Lilian.
Still in disbelief, but covering my shock with that convenient smile we use for polite appearances essential to the norms of civilized life, I left, went home, and wrote to Lilian.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
The conversation with Mrs. Poyntz left my mind restless and disquieted. I had no doubt, indeed, of Lilian’s truth; but could I be sure that the attentions of a young man, with advantages of fortune so brilliant, would not force on her thoughts the contrast of the humbler lot and the duller walk of life in which she had accepted as companion a man removed from her romantic youth less by disparity of years than by gravity of pursuits? And would my suit now be as welcomed as it had been by a mother even so unworldly as Mrs. Ashleigh? Why, too, should both mother and daughter have left me so unprepared to hear that I had a rival; why not have implied some consoling assurance that such rivalry need not cause me alarm? Lilian’s letters, it is true, touched but little on any of the persons round her; they were filled with the outpourings of an ingenuous heart, coloured by the glow of a golden fancy. They were written as if in the wide world we two stood apart alone, consecrated from the crowd by the love that, in linking us together, had hallowed each to the other. Mrs. Ashleigh’s letters were more general and diffusive,—detailed the habits of the household, sketched the guests, intimated her continued fear of Lady Haughton, but had said nothing more of Mr. Ashleigh Sumner than I had repeated to Mrs. Poyntz. However, in my letter to Lilian I related the intelligence that had reached me, and impatiently I awaited her reply.
The talk with Mrs. Poyntz left me feeling uneasy and restless. I had no doubt about Lilian’s honesty; but could I be sure that the attention of a young man with such impressive wealth wouldn’t make her reflect on the stark differences between his life and the simpler, less exciting life she had accepted with a man who was far removed from her youthful dreams, not just by age but by serious aspirations? And would my interest now be as welcomed as it had been by a mother as unworldly as Mrs. Ashleigh? Why, too, did both mother and daughter leave me so unprepared to find out I had a rival? Why didn’t they offer me some comforting assurance that such competition shouldn’t worry me? Lilian’s letters, it’s true, barely mentioned anyone else around her; they were filled with the genuine feelings of her heart, painted with the brilliance of a vivid imagination. They were written as if we were alone in the world, set apart from everyone else by the love that joined us together, sanctifying each of us to the other. Mrs. Ashleigh’s letters were broader and more detailed—covering the daily life of the household, sketching out the guests, hinting at her ongoing fear of Lady Haughton, but she said nothing more about Mr. Ashleigh Sumner than what I had told Mrs. Poyntz. However, in my letter to Lilian, I shared the news I had received, and I anxiously awaited her reply.
Three days after the interview with Mrs. Poyntz, and two days before the long-anticipated event of the mayor’s ball, I was summoned to attend a nobleman who had lately been added to my list of patients, and whose residence was about twelve miles from L——. The nearest way was through Sir Philip Derval’s park. I went on horseback, and proposed to stop on the way to inquire after the steward, whom I had seen but once since his fit, and that was two days after it, when he called himself at my house to thank me for my attendance, and to declare that he was quite recovered.
Three days after my interview with Mrs. Poyntz and two days before the much-anticipated mayor’s ball, I was called to see a nobleman who had recently become one of my patients, living about twelve miles from L——. The quickest route was through Sir Philip Derval’s park. I rode on horseback and planned to stop along the way to check on the steward, whom I had only seen once since his illness—two days after it happened, when he came to my house to thank me for my help and insisted he was fully recovered.
As I rode somewhat fast through the park, I came, however, upon the steward, just in front of the house. I reined in my horse and accosted him. He looked very cheerful.
As I rode a bit quickly through the park, I eventually came across the steward, right in front of the house. I slowed my horse and spoke to him. He looked really cheerful.
“Sir,” said he, in a whisper, “I have heard from Sir Philip; his letter is dated since—since-my good woman told you what I saw,—well, since then. So that it must have been all a delusion of mine, as you told her. And yet, well—well—we will not talk of it, doctor; but I hope you have kept the secret. Sir Philip would not like to hear of it, if he comes back.”
“Sir,” he said quietly, “I’ve received a letter from Sir Philip; it’s dated since—since my good woman told you what I saw—well, since then. So, it must have just been my imagination, like you told her. And yet, well—well—we won't discuss it, doctor; but I hope you’ve kept it a secret. Sir Philip wouldn’t want to know if he comes back.”
“Your secret is quite safe with me. But is Sir Philip likely to come back?”
“Your secret is completely safe with me. But is Sir Philip likely to return?”
“I hope so, doctor. His letter is dated Paris, and that’s nearer home than he has been for many years; and—but bless me! some one is coming out of the house,—a young gentleman! Who can it be?”
“I hope so, doctor. His letter is dated Paris, which is closer to home than he’s been in years; and—but wow! Someone is coming out of the house,—a young man! Who could it be?”
I looked, and to my surprise I saw Margrave descending the stately stairs that led from the front door. The steward turned towards him, and I mechanically followed, for I was curious to know what had brought Margrave to the house of the long-absent traveller.
I looked, and to my surprise, I saw Margrave coming down the impressive stairs that led from the front door. The steward turned to him, and I instinctively followed, as I was curious about what had brought Margrave to the home of the long-absent traveler.
It was easily explained. Mr. Margrave had heard at L—— much of the pictures and internal decorations of the mansion. He had, by dint of coaxing (he said, with his enchanting laugh), persuaded the old housekeeper to show him the rooms.
It was simple to explain. Mr. Margrave had heard a lot at L—— about the paintings and decor inside the mansion. He had, by charming her (he said with his captivating laugh), managed to convince the old housekeeper to give him a tour of the rooms.
“It is against Sir Philip’s positive orders to show the house to any stranger, sir; and the housekeeper has done very wrong,” said the steward.
“It’s against Sir Philip’s explicit orders to show the house to any strangers, sir; and the housekeeper has made a big mistake,” said the steward.
“Pray don’t scold her. I dare say Sir Philip would not have refused me a permission he might not give to every idle sightseer. Fellow-travellers have a freemasonry with each other; and I have been much in the same far countries as himself. I heard of him there, and could tell you more about him, I dare say, than you know yourself.”
“Please don’t scold her. I’m sure Sir Philip wouldn’t have denied me a favor that he might not grant to every random tourist. Fellow travelers have a bond with each other; and I’ve been to many of the same distant places as he has. I heard about him there, and I could probably tell you more about him than you know yourself.”
“You, sir! pray do then.”
"You, sir! Please do then."
“The next time I come,” said Margrave, gayly; and, with a nod to me, he glided off through the trees of the neighbouring grove, along the winding footpath that led to the lodge.
“The next time I come,” said Margrave cheerfully; and, with a nod to me, he smoothly made his way through the trees of the nearby grove, along the winding footpath that led to the lodge.
“A very cool gentleman,” muttered the steward; “but what pleasant ways he has! You seem to know him, sir. Who is he, may I ask?”
“A really cool guy,” muttered the steward; “but he has such pleasant manners! You seem to know him, sir. Who is he, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Mr. Margrave,—a visitor at L——, and he has been a great traveller, as he says; perhaps he met Sir Philip abroad.”
“Mr. Margrave—a guest at L——, and he claims to be quite the traveler; maybe he crossed paths with Sir Philip while overseas.”
“I must go and hear what he said to Mrs. Gates; excuse me, sir, but I am so anxious about Sir Philip.”
“I need to go and find out what he said to Mrs. Gates; sorry, sir, but I’m really worried about Sir Philip.”
“If it be not too great a favour, may I be allowed the same privilege granted to Mr. Margrave? To judge by the outside of the house, the inside must be worth seeing; still, if it be against Sir Philip’s positive orders—”
“If it’s not too much to ask, could I have the same privilege granted to Mr. Margrave? Going by the appearance of the house, the inside must be amazing; still, if it goes against Sir Philip’s clear orders—”
“His orders were, not to let the Court become a show-house,—to admit none without my consent; but I should be ungrateful indeed, doctor, if I refused that consent to you.”
“His instructions were to not let the Court turn into a spectacle—to allow no one in without my approval; but I would be truly ungrateful, doctor, if I denied that approval to you.”
I tied my horse to the rusty gate of the terrace-walk, and followed the steward up the broad stairs of the terrace. The great doors were unlocked. We entered a lofty hall with a domed ceiling; at the back of the hall the grand staircase ascended by a double flight. The design was undoubtedly Vanbrugh’s,—an architect who, beyond all others, sought the effect of grandeur less in space than in proportion; but Vanbrugh’s designs need the relief of costume and movement, and the forms of a more pompous generation, in the bravery of velvets and laces, glancing amid those gilded columns, or descending with stately tread those broad palatial stairs. His halls and chambers are so made for festival and throng, that they become like deserted theatres, inexpressibly desolate, as we miss the glitter of the lamps and the movement of the actors.
I tied my horse to the rusty gate of the terrace walk and followed the steward up the wide stairs of the terrace. The big doors were unlocked. We entered a spacious hall with a domed ceiling; at the back of the hall, the grand staircase rose in a double flight. The design was clearly Vanbrugh's—an architect who, more than anyone else, aimed for a sense of grandeur based more on proportion than space. However, Vanbrugh's designs need the contrast of costumes and movement, with the elements of a more extravagant era, in the richness of velvet and lace, shimmering among those gilded columns or making their way down the broad palatial stairs with a dignified stride. His halls and chambers are so created for celebration and crowds that they end up feeling like abandoned theaters, profoundly desolate, as we long for the sparkle of the lamps and the motion of the performers.
The housekeeper had now appeared,—a quiet, timid old woman. She excused herself for admitting Margrave—not very intelligibly. It was plain to see that she had, in truth, been unable to resist what the steward termed his “pleasant ways.”
The housekeeper had now shown up—a quiet, timid old woman. She apologized for letting Margrave in—not very clearly. It was obvious that she had, in fact, been unable to resist what the steward called his “charming ways.”
As if to escape from a scolding, she talked volubly all the time, bustling nervously through the rooms, along which I followed her guidance with a hushed footstep. The principal apartments were on the ground-floor, or rather, a floor raised some ten or fifteen feet above the ground; they had not been modernized since the date in which they were built. Hangings of faded silk; tables of rare marble, and mouldered gilding; comfortless chairs at drill against the walls; pictures, of which connoisseurs alone could estimate the value, darkened by dust or blistered by sun and damp, made a general character of discomfort. On not one room, on not one nook, still lingered some old smile of home.
As if trying to avoid a lecture, she chatted away energetically the whole time, moving around the rooms nervously while I followed her quietly. The main rooms were on the ground floor, or more accurately, a level about ten or fifteen feet above the ground; they hadn’t been updated since they were built. There were faded silk drapes, rare marble tables, and peeling gold accents; uncomfortable chairs lined up against the walls; and paintings that only true experts could appreciate, all covered in dust or damaged by sunlight and moisture, creating an overall feeling of discomfort. In every room, in every corner, there wasn't even a trace of the old warmth of home.
Meanwhile, I gathered from the housekeeper’s rambling answers to questions put to her by the steward, as I moved on, glancing at the pictures, that Margrave’s visit that day was not his first. He had been to the house twice before,—his ostensible excuse that he was an amateur in pictures (though, as I had before observed, for that department of art he had no taste); but each time he had talked much of Sir Philip. He said that though not personally known to him, he had resided in the same towns abroad, and had friends equally intimate with Sir Philip; but when the steward inquired if the visitor had given any information as to the absentee, it became very clear that Margrave had been rather asking questions than volunteering intelligence.
Meanwhile, I picked up from the housekeeper’s rambling responses to the steward’s questions, as I moved through and glanced at the pictures, that Margrave’s visit that day wasn’t his first. He had been to the house twice before, using his supposed interest in art as an excuse (though, as I had noted before, he had no taste for that kind of art); but each time he spoke a lot about Sir Philip. He claimed that although he didn’t know him personally, he had lived in the same towns abroad and had friends who were close to Sir Philip; but when the steward asked if the visitor had shared any information about the absent one, it became clear that Margrave had been more interested in asking questions than giving any information.
We had now come to the end of the state apartments, the last of which was a library. “And,” said the old woman, “I don’t wonder the gentleman knew Sir Philip, for he seemed a scholar, and looked very hard over the books, especially those old ones by the fireplace, which Sir Philip, Heaven bless him, was always poring into.”
We had now reached the end of the state apartments, and the last one was a library. “And,” said the old woman, “I’m not surprised the gentleman knew Sir Philip, since he seemed like a scholar and was really focused on the books, especially those old ones by the fireplace that Sir Philip, bless him, used to study all the time.”
Mechanically I turned to the shelves by the fireplace, and examined the volumes ranged in that department. I found they contained the works of those writers whom we may class together under the title of mystics,—Iamblichus and Plotinus; Swedenborg and Behmen; Sandivogius, Van Helmont, Paracelsus, Cardan. Works, too, were there, by writers less renowned, on astrology, geomancy, chiromancy, etc. I began to understand among what class of authors Margrave had picked up the strange notions with which he was apt to interpolate the doctrines of practical philosophy.
Mechanically, I turned to the shelves by the fireplace and looked over the books lined up in that section. I saw that they included the works of writers we can group together as mystics—like Iamblichus and Plotinus, Swedenborg and Behmen, Sandivogius, Van Helmont, Paracelsus, and Cardan. There were also writings by less famous authors on astrology, geomancy, chiromancy, and so on. I started to realize the kind of authors from whom Margrave had picked up the strange ideas he often inserted into the teachings of practical philosophy.
“I suppose this library was Sir Philip’s usual sitting-room?” said I.
“I guess this library was Sir Philip’s regular sitting room?” I said.
“No, sir; he seldom sat here. This was his study;” and the old woman opened a small door, masked by false book backs. I followed her into a room of moderate size, and evidently of much earlier date than the rest of the house. “It is the only room left of an older mansion,” said the steward in answer to my remark. “I have heard it was spared on account of the chimneypiece. But there is a Latin inscription which will tell you all about it. I don’t know Latin myself.”
“No, sir; he didn't sit here often. This was his study,” the old woman said as she opened a small door hidden behind fake book spines. I followed her into a moderately sized room that clearly dated back much earlier than the rest of the house. “It’s the only room left from an older mansion,” the steward replied to my comment. “I’ve heard it was saved because of the chimney. But there’s a Latin inscription that tells you everything about it. I don’t know Latin myself.”
The chimneypiece reached to the ceiling. The frieze of the lower part rested on rude stone caryatides; the upper part was formed of oak panels very curiously carved in the geometrical designs favoured by the taste prevalent in the reigns of Elizabeth and James, but different from any I had ever seen in the drawings of old houses,—and I was not quite unlearned in such matters, for my poor father was a passionate antiquary in all that relates to mediaeval art. The design in the oak panels was composed of triangles interlaced with varied ingenuity, and enclosed in circular bands inscribed with the signs of the Zodiac.
The fireplace extended all the way to the ceiling. The frieze at the bottom rested on rough stone figures; the upper part was made of oak panels intricately carved with the geometric designs popular during the reigns of Elizabeth and James, but they were unlike anything I had ever seen in drawings of old houses—and I wasn't completely clueless about such things, as my late father was a passionate collector of everything related to medieval art. The design on the oak panels consisted of triangles woven together in creative ways, framed by circular bands marked with the signs of the Zodiac.
On the stone frieze supported by the caryatides, immediately under the woodwork, was inserted a metal plate, on which was written, in Latin, a few lines to the effect that “in this room, Simon Forman, the seeker of hidden truth, taking refuge from unjust persecution, made those discoveries in nature which he committed, for the benefit of a wiser age, to the charge of his protector and patron, the worshipful Sir Miles Derval, knight.”
On the stone frieze supported by the caryatides, right beneath the woodwork, there was a metal plate with an inscription in Latin stating that “in this room, Simon Forman, the seeker of hidden truth, finding shelter from unfair persecution, made those discoveries in nature which he entrusted, for the benefit of a wiser age, to the care of his protector and patron, the esteemed Sir Miles Derval, knight.”
Forman! The name was not quite unfamiliar to me; but it was not without an effort that my memory enabled me to assign it to one of the most notorious of those astrologers or soothsayers whom the superstition of an earlier age alternately persecuted and honoured.
Forman! The name sounded somewhat familiar; however, it took some effort for me to remember that it belonged to one of the most infamous astrologers or fortune-tellers who were both persecuted and revered by the superstitions of a past era.
The general character of the room was more cheerful than the statelier chambers I had hitherto passed through, for it had still the look of habitation,—the armchair by the fireplace; the kneehole writing-table beside it; the sofa near the recess of a large bay-window, with book-prop and candlestick screwed to its back; maps, coiled in their cylinders, ranged under the cornice; low strong safes, skirting two sides of the room, and apparently intended to hold papers and title-deeds, seals carefully affixed to their jealous locks. Placed on the top of these old-fashioned receptacles were articles familiar to modern use,—a fowling-piece here, fishing-rods there, two or three simple flower-vases, a pile of music books, a box of crayons. All in this room seemed to speak of residence and ownership,—of the idiosyncrasies of a lone single man, it is true, but of a man of one’s own time,—a country gentleman of plain habits but not uncultivated tastes.
The overall vibe of the room was brighter than the more formal rooms I had seen before, as it still felt lived-in. There was an armchair by the fireplace, a kneehole writing desk next to it, and a sofa near the large bay window, complete with a book holder and a candlestick attached to its back. Maps rolled up in their cylinders were lined up under the cornice, and sturdy low safes lined two sides of the room, seemingly meant for storing papers and title deeds, with seals carefully fastened to their secure locks. On top of these old-fashioned storage boxes were items familiar to modern life—like a shotgun here, fishing rods there, a few simple vases, a stack of music books, and a box of crayons. Everything in this room seemed to reflect a sense of home and ownership—definitely showing the quirks of a solitary man, but a man of his own time—a country gentleman with simple habits but refined tastes.
I moved to the window; it opened by a sash upon a large balcony, from which a wooden stair wound to a little garden, not visible in front of the house, surrounded by a thick grove of evergreens, through which one broad vista was cut, and that vista was closed by a view of the mausoleum.
I went to the window; it opened with a sash onto a big balcony, from which a wooden staircase led down to a small garden, hidden from view in front of the house, surrounded by a dense grove of evergreens. Through this grove, there was one wide path, and that path ended with a view of the mausoleum.
I stepped out into the garden,—a patch of sward with a fountain in the centre, and parterres, now more filled with weeds than flowers. At the left corner was a tall wooden summer-house or pavilion,—its door wide open. “Oh, that’s where Sir Philip used to study many a long summer’s night,” said the steward.
I stepped out into the garden—a patch of grass with a fountain in the center, and flower beds that were now more overgrown with weeds than blooming with flowers. In the left corner stood a tall wooden gazebo, its door wide open. “Oh, that’s where Sir Philip used to study for many long summer nights,” said the steward.
“What! in that damp pavilion?”
"What! in that wet pavilion?"
“It was a pretty place enough then, sir; but it is very old,—they say as old as the room you have just left.”
“It was a nice enough place back then, sir; but it's very old—people say it's as old as the room you just left.”
“Indeed, I must look at it, then.”
“Yeah, I need to check it out, then.”
The walls of this summer-house had once been painted in the arabesques of the Renaissance period; but the figures were now scarcely traceable. The woodwork had started in some places, and the sunbeams stole through the chinks and played on the floor, which was formed from old tiles quaintly tessellated and in triangular patterns; similar to those I had observed in the chimneypiece. The room in the pavilion was large, furnished with old worm-eaten tables and settles. “It was not only here that Sir Philip studied, but sometimes in the room above,” said the steward.
The walls of this summer house had once been decorated with Renaissance-style designs, but now the figures were barely visible. The woodwork had started to decay in some areas, and the sunlight filtered through the cracks, casting patterns on the floor made of old tiles arranged in quirky triangular designs, much like those I had seen in the fireplace. The room in the pavilion was spacious, filled with old, worn-out tables and benches. “Sir Philip didn’t just study here; he also sometimes worked in the room above,” the steward said.
“How do you get to the room above? Oh, I see; a stair case in the angle.” I ascended the stairs with some caution, for they were crooked and decayed; and, on entering the room above, comprehended at once why Sir Philip had favoured it.
“How do you get to the room above? Oh, I see; there's a staircase in the corner.” I carefully climbed the stairs because they were twisted and falling apart; and when I entered the room above, I quickly understood why Sir Philip liked it so much.
The cornice of the ceiling rested on pilasters, within which the compartments were formed into open unglazed arches, surrounded by a railed balcony. Through these arches, on three sides of the room, the eye commanded a magnificent extent of prospect. On the fourth side the view was bounded by the mausoleum. In this room was a large telescope; and on stepping into the balcony, I saw that a winding stair mounted thence to a platform on the top of the pavilion,—perhaps once used as an observatory by Forman himself.
The ceiling's cornice was supported by pilasters, which framed open, unglazed arches surrounded by a railed balcony. These arches provided a stunning view on three sides of the room. The fourth side was closed off by the mausoleum. There was a large telescope in the room, and as I stepped onto the balcony, I noticed a winding staircase leading up to a platform on top of the pavilion—possibly once used as an observatory by Forman himself.
“The gentleman who was here to-day was very much pleased with this look-out, sir,” said the housekeeper. “Who would not be? I suppose Sir Philip has a taste for astronomy.”
“The gentleman who was here today was really pleased with this view, sir,” said the housekeeper. “Who wouldn’t be? I guess Sir Philip has an interest in astronomy.”
“I dare say, sir,” said the steward, looking grave; “he likes most out-of-the-way things.”
“I must say, sir,” said the steward, looking serious; “he likes most unusual things.”
The position of the sun now warned me that my time pressed, and that I should have to ride fast to reach my new patient at the hour appointed. I therefore hastened back to my horse, and spurred on, wondering whether, in the chain of association which so subtly links our pursuits in manhood to our impressions in childhood, it was the Latin inscription on the chimneypiece that had originally biassed Sir Philip Derval’s literary taste towards the mystic jargon of the books at which I had contemptuously glanced.
The position of the sun now reminded me that I was running out of time, and that I needed to ride fast to reach my new patient at the scheduled hour. So, I hurried back to my horse and kicked it into a gallop, wondering if the Latin inscription on the chimneypiece had originally influenced Sir Philip Derval's taste in literature towards the mystical language of the books I had looked at with disdain.
CHAPTER XXIX.
I did not see Margrave the following day, but the next morning, a little after sunrise, he walked into my study, according to his ordinary habit.
I didn't see Margrave the next day, but the following morning, shortly after sunrise, he came into my study, as he usually did.
“So you know something about Sir Philip Derval?” said I. “What sort of a man is he?”
“Do you know anything about Sir Philip Derval?” I asked. “What kind of person is he?”
“Hateful!” cried Margrave; and then checking himself, burst out into his merry laugh. “Just like my exaggerations! I am not acquainted with anything to his prejudice. I came across his track once or twice in the East. Travellers are always apt to be jealous of each other.”
“Hateful!” exclaimed Margrave; and then pulling himself back, he burst into a hearty laugh. “Just like my exaggerations! I don’t know anything bad about him. I’ve crossed paths with him once or twice in the East. Travelers tend to be jealous of one another.”
“You are a strange compound of cynicism and credulity; but I should have fancied that you and Sir Philip would have been congenial spirits, when I found, among his favourite books, Van Helmont and Paracelsus. Perhaps you, too, study Swedenborg, or, worse still, Ptolemy and Lilly?”
“You are a strange mix of skepticism and gullibility; but I would have thought that you and Sir Philip would have been kindred spirits, especially when I saw Van Helmont and Paracelsus among his favorite books. Maybe you also study Swedenborg, or even worse, Ptolemy and Lilly?”
“Astrologers? No! They deal with the future! I live for the day; only I wish the day never had a morrow!”
“Astrologers? No! They focus on the future! I live for today; I just wish today would never have tomorrow!”
“Have you not, then that vague desire for the something beyond,—that not unhappy, but grand discontent with the limits of the immediate Present, from which man takes his passion for improvement and progress, and from which some sentimental philosophers have deduced an argument in favour of his destined immortality?”
“Don’t you ever feel that vague desire for something more— that not totally unhappy, but profound dissatisfaction with the limits of what’s right in front of us, from which people draw their drive for improvement and progress, and which some sentimental philosophers have used to argue in favor of our destined immortality?”
“Eh!” said Margrave, with as vacant a stare as that of a peasant whom one has addressed in Hebrew. “What farrago of words is this? I do not comprehend you.”
“Eh!” said Margrave, with as blank a stare as that of a farmer who has been spoken to in Hebrew. “What is this jumble of words? I don’t understand you.”
“With your natural abilities,” I asked with interest, “do you never feel a desire for fame?”
“With your natural abilities,” I asked with interest, “do you never feel the urge for fame?”
“Fame? Certainly not. I cannot even understand it!”
“Fame? Definitely not. I can’t even wrap my head around it!”
“Well, then, would you have no pleasure in the thought that you had rendered a service to humanity?”
"Well, then, wouldn't you take pleasure in the idea that you have helped humanity?"
Margrave looked bewildered; after a moment’s pause, he took from the table a piece of bread that chanced to be there, opened the window, and threw the crumbs into the lane. The sparrows gathered round the crumbs.
Margrave looked confused; after a short pause, he picked up a piece of bread that happened to be on the table, opened the window, and threw the crumbs into the street. The sparrows gathered around the crumbs.
“Now,” said Margrave, “the sparrows come to that dull pavement for the bread that recruits their lives in this world; do you believe that one sparrow would be silly enough to fly to a house-top for the sake of some benefit to other sparrows, or to be chirruped about after he was dead? I care for science as the sparrow cares for bread,—it may help me to something good for my own life; and as for fame and humanity, I care for them as the sparrow cares for the general interest and posthumous approbation of sparrows!”
“Now,” Margrave said, “the sparrows come to that dull pavement for the bread that sustains them in this world; do you really think one sparrow would be foolish enough to fly to a rooftop just for the sake of benefiting other sparrows, or to be chirped about after it’s gone? I care about science just like a sparrow cares about bread—it might lead me to something good for my own life; and as for fame and humanity, I care about them like the sparrow cares about the overall interest and posthumous praise of sparrows!”
“Margrave, there is one thing in you that perplexes me more than all else—human puzzle as you are—in your many eccentricities and self-contradictions.”
“Margrave, there’s one thing about you that puzzles me more than anything else—being the human enigma that you are—with all your quirks and contradictions.”
“What is that one thing in me most perplexing?”
“What’s the one thing about me that’s most confusing?”
“This: that in your enjoyment of Nature you have all the freshness of a child, but when you speak of Man and his objects in the world, you talk in the vein of some worn-out and hoary cynic. At such times, were I to close my eyes, I should say to myself, ‘What weary old man is thus venting his spleen against the ambition which has failed, and the love which has forsaken him?’ Outwardly the very personation of youth, and revelling like a butterfly in the warmth of the sun and the tints of the herbage, why have you none of the golden passions of the young,—their bright dreams of some impossible love, their sublime enthusiasm for some unattainable glory? The sentiment you have just clothed in the illustration by which you place yourself on a level with the sparrows is too mean and too gloomy to be genuine at your age. Misanthropy is among the dismal fallacies of gray beards. No man, till man’s energies leave him, can divorce himself from the bonds of our social kind.”
“This: in your enjoyment of Nature, you have all the freshness of a child, but when you talk about Man and his creations, you sound like a tired and ancient cynic. At those moments, if I were to close my eyes, I would wonder, ‘What weary old man is venting his frustrations about failed ambitions and lost loves?’ Outwardly, you embody youth, delighting like a butterfly in the warmth of the sun and the colors of the grass, so why don’t you have any of the passionate dreams of the young—those bright visions of impossible love, that intense enthusiasm for unreachable glory? The feelings you just expressed, comparing yourself to the sparrows, are too trivial and bleak to be real at your age. Misanthropy is one of the sad illusions of old men. No one, until their energy fades, can truly separate themselves from the connections of our social nature.”
“Our kind! Your kind, possibly; but I—” He swept his hand over his brow, and resumed, in strange, absent, and wistful accents: “I wonder what it is that is wanting here, and of which at moments I have a dim reminiscence.” Again he paused, and gazing on me, said with more appearance of friendly interest than I had ever before remarked in his countenance, “You are not looking well. Despite your great physical strength, you suffer like your own sickly patients.”
“Our kind! Maybe your kind; but I—” He brushed his hand over his forehead and continued in a strange, distant, and nostalgic tone: “I wonder what’s missing here, and at times I have a vague memory of it.” He paused again, and looking at me, said with more genuine concern than I had ever noticed in his expression, “You don’t look well. Even with your great physical strength, you’re suffering like your own ill patients.”
“True! I suffer at this moment, but not from bodily pain.”
“True! I’m suffering right now, but not from physical pain.”
“You have some cause of mental disquietude?”
“You're feeling a bit mentally unsettled?”
“Who in this world has not?”
"Who hasn't in this world?"
“I never have.”
"I've never done that."
“Because you own you have never loved. Certainly, you never seem to care for any one but yourself; and in yourself you find an unbroken sunny holiday,—high spirits, youth, health, beauty, wealth. Happy boy!”
“Because you’re so self-centered, you’ve never truly loved. It definitely looks like you only care about yourself, and in yourself, you find a constant, bright vacation—high energy, youth, health, attractiveness, and wealth. Happy kid!”
At that moment my heart was heavy within me.
At that moment, I felt a weight in my heart.
Margrave resumed,—
Margrave continued,—
“Among the secrets which your knowledge places at the command of your art, what would you give for one which would enable you to defy and to deride a rival where you place your affections, which could lock to yourself, and imperiously control, the will of the being whom you desire to fascinate, by an influence paramount, transcendent?”
“Among the secrets that your knowledge gives you in your craft, what would you offer for one that lets you challenge and mock a competitor in where you place your feelings, one that could draw to you and dominantly control the will of the person you want to captivate, with a supreme, extraordinary influence?”
“Love has that secret,” said I,—“and love alone.”
“Love holds that secret,” I said, “and only love.”
“A power stronger than love can suspend, can change love itself. But if love be the object or dream of your life, love is the rosy associate of youth and beauty. Beauty soon fades, youth soon departs. What if in nature there were means by which beauty and youth can be fixed into blooming duration,—means that could arrest the course, nay, repair the effects, of time on the elements that make up the human frame?”
“A force more powerful than love can hold it back, can even alter love itself. But if love is the goal or aspiration of your life, then love is the beautiful companion of youth and attractiveness. Beauty quickly fades, youth swiftly passes. What if there were ways in nature to preserve beauty and youth in a state of eternal bloom—ways that could stop time, or even reverse its effects on the aspects that shape the human body?”
“Silly boy! Have the Rosicrucians bequeathed to you a prescription for the elixir of life?”
“Silly boy! Have the Rosicrucians left you a recipe for the elixir of life?”
“If I had the prescription I should not ask your aid to discover its ingredients.”
“If I had the prescription, I wouldn’t need your help to figure out its ingredients.”
“And is it in the hope of that notable discovery you have studied chemistry, electricity, and magnetism? Again I say, Silly boy!”
“And is it in the hope of that significant discovery you’ve studied chemistry, electricity, and magnetism? Once again, I say, silly boy!”
Margrave did not heed my reply. His face was overcast, gloomy, troubled.
Margrave didn’t pay attention to my response. His face was clouded, somber, and worried.
“That the vital principle is a gas,” said he, abruptly, “I am fully convinced. Can that gas be the one which combines caloric with oxygen?”
“That the vital principle is a gas,” he said suddenly, “I am completely convinced. Could that gas be the one that combines heat with oxygen?”
“Phosoxygen? Sir Humphrey Davy demonstrates that gas not to be, as Lavoisier supposed, caloric, but light, combined with oxygen; and he suggests, not indeed that it is the vital principle itself, but the pabulum of life to organic beings.” (1)
“Phosoxygen? Sir Humphrey Davy shows that this gas isn’t, as Lavoisier thought, caloric, but light combined with oxygen; and he proposes, not that it is the vital principle itself, but the nourishment of life for living organisms.” (1)
“Does he?” said Margrave, his, face clearing up. “Possibly, possibly, then, here we approach the great secret of secrets. Look you, Allen Fenwick: I promise to secure to you unfailing security from all the jealous fears that now torture your heart; if you care for that fame which to me is not worth the scent of a flower, the balm of a breeze, I will impart to you a knowledge which, in the hands of ambition, would dwarf into commonplace the boasted wonders of recognized science. I will do all this, if, in return, but for one month you will give yourself up to my guidance in whatever experiments I ask, no matter how wild they may seem to you.”
“Does he?” Margrave said, his face brightening. “Maybe, maybe, we’re getting close to a huge secret. Listen, Allen Fenwick: I promise to protect you from all the jealous fears that are currently tormenting you; if you value that fame which means nothing to me, I’ll share with you knowledge that, in the hands of someone ambitious, would make the supposed wonders of established science seem ordinary. I’ll do all of this if, in return, you’ll let me guide you for just one month in whatever experiments I ask, no matter how crazy they might seem to you.”
“My dear Margrave, I reject your bribes as I would reject the moon and the stars which a child might offer to me in exchange for a toy; but I may give the child its toy for nothing, and I may test your experiments for nothing some day when I have leisure.”
“My dear Margrave, I refuse your bribes just as I would turn down the moon and the stars that a child might offer me in exchange for a toy; however, I might give the child its toy for free, and I may try out your experiments for free someday when I have the time.”
I did not hear Margrave’s answer, for at that moment my servant entered with letters. Lilian’s hand! Tremblingly, breathlessly, I broke the seal. Such a loving, bright, happy letter; so sweet in its gentle chiding of my wrongful fears! It was implied rather than said that Ashleigh Sumner had proposed and been refused. He had now left the house. Lilian and her mother were coming back; in a few days we should meet. In this letter were inclosed a few lines from Mrs. Ashleigh. She was more explicit about my rival than Lilian had been. If no allusion to his attentions had been made to me before, it was from a delicate consideration for myself. Mrs. Ashleigh said that “the young man had heard from L—— of our engagement, and—disbelieved it;” but, as Mrs. Poyntz had so shrewdly predicted, hurried at once to the avowal of his own attachment, and the offer of his own hand. On Lilian’s refusal his pride had been deeply mortified. He had gone away manifestly in more anger than sorrow.
I didn’t catch Margrave’s response because my servant came in with letters at that moment. Lilian’s handwriting! I broke the seal, trembling and breathless. It was such a loving, bright, cheerful letter, so sweet in its gentle rebuke of my unfounded fears! It was implied rather than stated that Ashleigh Sumner had proposed and been turned down. He had now left the house. Lilian and her mother were coming back; in a few days, we would meet. Enclosed in this letter were a few lines from Mrs. Ashleigh. She was clearer about my rival than Lilian had been. If no mention of his attentions had been made to me before, it was out of delicate consideration for me. Mrs. Ashleigh wrote that “the young man had heard from L—— about our engagement and—didn’t believe it;” but, as Mrs. Poyntz had wisely predicted, he hurried to declare his own feelings and propose himself. Lilian’s rejection had deeply wounded his pride. He left clearly more angry than sad.
“Lady Delafield, dear Margaret Poyntz’s aunt, had been most kind in trying to soothe Lady Haughton’s disappointment, which was rudely expressed,—so rudely,” added Mrs. Ashleigh, “that it gives us an excuse to leave sooner than had been proposed,—which I am very glad of. Lady Delafield feels much for Mr. Sumner; has invited him to visit her at a place she has near Worthing. She leaves to-morrow in order to receive him; promises to reconcile him to our rejection, which, as he was my poor Gilbert’s heir, and was very friendly at first, would be a great relief to my mind. Lilian is well, and so happy at the thoughts of coming back.”
“Lady Delafield, dear Aunt Margaret Poyntz, has been very kind in trying to ease Lady Haughton’s disappointment, which was expressed quite bluntly—so bluntly,” Mrs. Ashleigh added, “that it gives us a good reason to leave earlier than planned, which I’m really happy about. Lady Delafield is very sympathetic toward Mr. Sumner; she has invited him to visit her at her place near Worthing. She’s leaving tomorrow to welcome him and promises to help him come to terms with our rejection, which would really put my mind at ease since he was my late Gilbert’s heir and was very friendly at first. Lilian is doing well and is so excited about coming back.”
When I lifted my eyes from these letters I was as a new man, and the earth seemed a new earth. I felt as if I had realized Margrave’s idle dreams,—as if youth could never fade, love could never grow cold.
When I looked up from these letters, I felt like a new person, and the world seemed completely different. It was as if I had achieved Margrave’s fanciful dreams—like youth would never fade, and love would never grow cold.
“You care for no secrets of mine at this moment,” said Margrave, abruptly.
“You don’t care about any of my secrets right now,” said Margrave, abruptly.
“Secrets!” I murmured; “none now are worth knowing. I am loved! I am loved!”
“Secrets!” I whispered; “none of them are worth knowing anymore. I’m loved! I’m loved!”
“I bide my time,” said Margrave; and as my eyes met his, I saw there a look I had never seen in those eyes before, sinister, wrathful, menacing. He turned away, went out through the sash-door of the study; and as he passed towards the fields under the luxuriant chestnut-trees, I heard his musical, barbaric chant,—the song by which the serpent-charmer charms the serpent,—sweet, so sweet, the very birds on the boughs hushed their carol as if to listen.
“I’m just waiting,” said Margrave; and as our eyes locked, I noticed a look in his I had never seen before, dark, furious, threatening. He turned away and left through the study's sliding door; and as he walked toward the fields beneath the lush chestnut trees, I heard his melodic, primal chant—the song that snake charmers use to mesmerize snakes—so sweet, so enchanting, that even the birds in the branches fell silent to listen.
(1) See Sir Humphrey Davy on Heat, Light, and the Combinations of Light
(1) Check out Sir Humphrey Davy on Heat, Light, and the Combinations of Light
CHAPTER XXX.
I called that day on Mrs. Poyntz, and communicated to her the purport of the glad news I had received.
I visited Mrs. Poyntz that day and told her about the good news I had received.
She was still at work on the everlasting knitting, her firm fingers linking mesh into mesh as she listened; and when I had done, she laid her skein deliberately down, and said, in her favourite characteristic formula,—
She was still working on the never-ending knitting, her strong fingers linking strands together as she listened; and when I finished, she set her yarn down intentionally and said, in her favorite way,—
“So at last?—that is settled!”
“So finally?—that is settled!”
She rose and paced the room as men are apt to do in reflection, women rarely need such movement to aid their thoughts; her eyes were fixed on the floor, and one hand was lightly pressed on the palm of the other,—the gesture of a musing reasoner who is approaching the close of a difficult calculation.
She stood up and walked around the room, something men often do when they’re deep in thought; women usually don’t need to move to help them think. Her eyes were focused on the floor, and one hand was gently resting on the palm of the other—like someone lost in thought, just about to finish a complicated equation.
At length she paused, fronting me, and said dryly,—
At last, she stopped, faced me, and said flatly,—
“Accept my congratulations. Life smiles on you now; guard that smile, and when we meet next, may we be even firmer friends than we are now!”
“Accept my congratulations. Life is looking good for you right now; hold onto that happiness, and when we meet again, may we be even better friends than we are now!”
“When we meet next,—that will be to-night—you surely go to the mayor’s great ball? All the Hill descends to Low Town to-night.”
“When we meet next—and that will be tonight—you’re definitely going to the mayor’s big ball, right? Everyone from the Hill is heading down to Low Town tonight.”
“No; we are obliged to leave L—— this afternoon; in less than two hours we shall be gone,—a family engagement. We may be weeks away; you will excuse me, then, if I take leave of you so unceremoniously. Stay, a motherly word of caution. That friend of yours, Mr. Margrave! Moderate your intimacy with him; and especially after you are married. There is in that stranger, of whom so little is known, a something which I cannot comprehend,—a something that captivates and yet revolts. I find him disturbing my thoughts, perplexing my conjectures, haunting my fancies,—I, plain woman of the world! Lilian is imaginative; beware of her imagination, even when sure of her heart. Beware of Margrave. The sooner he quits L—— the better, believe me, for your peace of mind. Adieu! I must prepare for our journey.”
“No; we have to leave L—— this afternoon; in less than two hours we will be gone—family commitment. We might be away for weeks, so please pardon me if I say goodbye so abruptly. Hold on, I have a motherly word of warning. That friend of yours, Mr. Margrave! Keep your distance from him; especially after you get married. There's something about that stranger, someone we don't know much about, that I can't quite understand—something that attracts and yet repels. I find him disrupting my thoughts, confusing my assumptions, and lingering in my imagination—I, a straightforward woman of the world! Lilian is imaginative; be careful of her imagination, even when she's certain of her feelings. Watch out for Margrave. The sooner he leaves L—— the better, trust me, for your peace of mind. Goodbye! I need to get ready for our trip.”
“That woman,” muttered I, on quitting her house, “seems to have some strange spite against my poor Lilian, ever seeking to rouse my own distrust of that exquisite nature which has just given me such proof of its truth. And yet—and yet—is that woman so wrong here? True! Margrave with his wild notions, his strange beauty!—true—true—he might dangerously encourage that turn for the mystic and visionary which distresses me in Lilian. Lilian should not know him. How induce him to leave L——? Ah, those experiments on which he asks my assistance! I might commence them when he comes again, and then invent some excuse to send him for completer tests to the famous chemists of Paris or Berlin.”
“That woman,” I muttered as I left her house, “seems to have some strange grudge against my poor Lilian, always trying to stir up my distrust of that beautiful soul that just gave me such solid proof of its sincerity. And yet—and yet—could that woman be right in some way? True! Margrave with his wild ideas, his unusual looks!—it’s true—he might dangerously feed that mystical and visionary side of Lilian that worries me. Lilian shouldn’t be around him. How can I get him to leave L——? Ah, those experiments he wants my help with! I could start them when he comes back, then come up with an excuse to send him off for more comprehensive tests to the famous chemists in Paris or Berlin.”
CHAPTER XXXI.
It is the night of the mayor’s ball! The guests are assembling fast; county families twelve miles round have been invited, as well as the principal families of the town. All, before proceeding to the room set apart for the dance, moved in procession through the museum,—homage to science before pleasure!
It’s the night of the mayor’s ball! The guests are gathering quickly; county families from twelve miles away have been invited, along with the main families from the town. Before heading to the dance room, everyone paraded through the museum—paying their respects to science before indulging in pleasure!
The building was brilliantly lighted, and the effect was striking, perhaps because singular and grotesque. There, amidst stands of flowers and evergreens, lit up with coloured lamps, were grouped the dead representatives of races all inferior—some deadly—to man. The fancy of the ladies had been permitted to decorate and arrange these types of the animal world. The tiger glared with glass eyes from amidst artificial reeds and herbage, as from his native jungle; the grisly white bear peered from a mimic iceberg. There, in front, stood the sage elephant, facing a hideous hippopotamus; whilst an anaconda twined its long spire round the stem of some tropical tree in zinc. In glass cases, brought into full light by festooned lamps, were dread specimens of the reptile race,—scorpion and vampire, and cobra capella, with insects of gorgeous hues, not a few of them with venomed stings.
The building was brightly lit, and the effect was striking, perhaps because it was unique and bizarre. Amidst displays of flowers and evergreens, illuminated by colored lights, were the preserved remains of various animal species, some of which posed a threat to humans. The women had been allowed to decorate and arrange these examples of the animal kingdom. The tiger glared with glassy eyes from among fake reeds and plants, resembling its natural habitat; the enormous white bear peered out from a fake iceberg. In front stood the wise elephant, facing a grotesque hippopotamus, while an anaconda coiled its long body around the trunk of a faux tropical tree made of zinc. In glass cases, fully illuminated by draped lamps, were terrifying specimens of reptiles—scorpions, vampire bats, and cobras, alongside insects of brilliant colors, many of which had venomous stings.
But the chief boast of the collection was in the varieties of the Genus Simia,—baboons and apes, chimpanzees, with their human visage, mockeries of man, from the dwarf monkeys perched on boughs lopped from the mayor’s shrubberies, to the formidable ourangoutang, leaning on his huge club.
But the main highlight of the collection was the different kinds of the Genus Simia—baboons and apes, chimpanzees with their human-like faces, imitations of humans, ranging from the small monkeys sitting on branches cut from the mayor’s bushes to the impressive orangutan, resting on his large club.
Every one expressed to the mayor admiration, to each other antipathy, for this unwonted and somewhat ghastly, though instructive, addition to the revels of a ballroom.
Everyone expressed admiration to the mayor while feeling antipathy toward each other for this unusual and somewhat eerie, yet educational, addition to the festivities of the ballroom.
Margrave, of course, was there, and seemingly quite at home, gliding from group to group of gayly-dressed ladies, and brilliant with a childish eagerness to play off the showman. Many of these grim fellow-creatures he declared he had seen, played, or fought with. He had something true or false to say about each. In his high spirits he contrived to make the tiger move, and imitated the hiss of the terribly anaconda. All that he did had its grace, its charm; and the buzz of admiration and the flattering glances of ladies’ eyes followed him wherever he moved.
Margrave was definitely there and seemed perfectly at ease, moving smoothly from group to group of brightly dressed ladies, filled with a childlike excitement to show off. He claimed he had seen, played with, or fought many of these serious-looking people. He had some story, whether true or false, to share about each one. In his high spirits, he managed to make the tiger move and imitated the hiss of the terrifying anaconda. Everything he did had its elegance and charm, and the buzz of admiration and the flattering glances from ladies followed him wherever he went.
However, there was a general feeling of relief when the mayor led the way from the museum into the ballroom. In provincial parties guests arrive pretty much within the same hour, and so few who had once paid their respects to the apes and serpents, the hippopotamus and the tiger, were disposed to repeat the visit, that long before eleven o’clock the museum was as free from the intrusion of human life as the wilderness in which its dead occupants had been born.
However, there was a general sense of relief when the mayor led everyone from the museum into the ballroom. At local parties, guests typically arrive around the same time, and since so few who had once paid their respects to the apes and snakes, the hippopotamus and the tiger, were eager to visit again, the museum was completely devoid of human presence long before eleven o’clock, much like the wilderness where its deceased inhabitants had originated.
I had gone my round through the rooms, and, little disposed to be social, had crept into the retreat of a window-niche, pleased to think myself screened by its draperies,—not that I was melancholy, far from it; for the letter I had received that morning from Lilian had raised my whole being into a sovereignty of happiness high beyond the reach of the young pleasure-hunters, whose voices and laughter blended with that vulgar music.
I had made my way through the rooms, and not really in the mood to socialize, I slipped into a cozy window nook, happy to feel hidden by the drapes—not that I was sad, quite the opposite; the letter I received that morning from Lilian had lifted my entire spirit into a realm of joy that was far above the grasp of the young thrill-seekers, whose voices and laughter mingled with that loud music.
To read her letter again I had stolen to my nook, and now, sure that none saw me kiss it, I replaced it in my bosom. I looked through the parted curtain; the room was comparatively empty; but there, through the open folding-doors, I saw the gay crowd gathered round the dancers, and there again, at right angles, a vista along the corridor afforded a glimpse of the great elephant in the deserted museum.
To read her letter again, I snuck away to my corner, and now, confident that no one saw me kiss it, I tucked it back into my chest. I peeked through the parted curtain; the room was relatively empty; but there, through the open folding doors, I saw the lively crowd gathered around the dancers, and again, at right angles, a view along the corridor gave me a glimpse of the big elephant in the empty museum.
Presently I heard, close beside me, my host’s voice.
Right now I heard, really close to me, my host's voice.
“Here’s a cool corner, a pleasant sofa, you can have it all to yourself. What an honour to receive you under my roof, and on this interesting occasion! Yes, as you say, there are great changes in L—— since you left us. Society has much improved. I must look about and find some persons to introduce to you. Clever! oh, I know your tastes. We have a wonderful man,—a new doctor. Carries all before him; very high character, too; good old family, greatly looked up to, even apart from his profession. Dogmatic a little,—a Sir Oracle,—‘Lets no dog bark;’ you remember the quotation,—Shakspeare. Where on earth is he? My dear Sir Philip, I am sure you would enjoy his conversation.”
“Here’s a nice little corner and a comfy sofa; you can have it all to yourself. What an honor to welcome you into my home on this special occasion! Yes, as you mentioned, L—— has changed a lot since you were last here. Society has really improved. I need to look around and find some people to introduce you to. Smart move! Oh, I know what you like. We have a fantastic guy—a new doctor. He’s making waves; has a really great reputation, too; comes from a good family, well-respected, even outside his profession. He can be a bit dogmatic—like a Sir Oracle—‘Let no dog bark;’ you know the quote—from Shakespeare. Where on earth is he? My dear Sir Philip, I’m sure you would love chatting with him.”
Sir Philip! Could it be Sir Philip Derval to whom the mayor was giving a flattering yet scarcely propitiatory description of myself? Curiosity combined with a sense of propriety in not keeping myself an unsuspected listener; I emerged from the curtain, but silently, and reached the centre of the room before the mayor perceived me. He then came up to me eagerly, linked his arm in mine, and leading me to a gentleman seated on a sofa, close by the window I had quitted, said,—
Sir Philip! Could it be Sir Philip Derval that the mayor was describing in such a flattering, yet barely conciliatory way? My curiosity, along with a sense of decency for not being an unnoticed eavesdropper, prompted me to step out from behind the curtain quietly. I made it to the center of the room before the mayor noticed me. He eagerly approached, hooked his arm through mine, and led me to a gentleman sitting on a sofa near the window I had just left, saying,—
“Doctor, I must present you to Sir Philip Derval, just returned to England, and not six hours in L——. If you would like to see the museum again, Sir Philip, the doctor, I am sure, will accompany you.”
“Doc, I need to introduce you to Sir Philip Derval, who's just gotten back to England and has only been in L—— for six hours. If you'd like to check out the museum again, Sir Philip, I'm sure the doc will join you.”
“No, I thank you; it is painful to me at present to see, even under your roof, the collection which my poor dear friend, Dr. Lloyd, was so proudly beginning to form when I left these parts.”
“No, thank you; it’s hard for me right now to see, even in your home, the collection that my dear friend, Dr. Lloyd, was so proudly starting to build when I left this place.”
“Ay, Sir Philip, Dr. Lloyd was a worthy man in his way, but sadly duped in his latter years; took to mesmerism, only think! But our young doctor here showed him up, I can tell you.”
“Yeah, Sir Philip, Dr. Lloyd was a good man in his own right, but he got tricked in his later years; he got into mesmerism, can you believe it? But our young doctor here exposed him, I can tell you.”
Sir Philip, who had acknowledged my first introduction to his acquaintance by the quiet courtesy with which a well-bred man goes through a ceremony that custom enables him to endure with equal ease and indifference, now evinced by a slight change of manner how little the mayor’s reference to my dispute with Dr. Lloyd advanced me in his good opinion. He turned away with a bow more formal than his first one, and said calmly,
Sir Philip, who had responded to my initial introduction to him with the polite grace typical of a well-mannered person enduring a social ritual with both ease and indifference, now showed through a slight shift in his demeanor just how little the mayor’s mention of my disagreement with Dr. Lloyd improved his opinion of me. He turned away with a bow that was more formal than the first and said calmly,
“I regret to hear that a man so simple-minded and so sensitive as Dr. Lloyd should have provoked an encounter in which I can well conceive him to have been worsted. With your leave, Mr. Mayor, I will look into your ballroom. I may perhaps find there some old acquaintances.”
“I’m sorry to hear that someone as simple and sensitive as Dr. Lloyd got into a situation where I can easily imagine he came out worse for it. If you don’t mind, Mr. Mayor, I’d like to check out your ballroom. I might find some old friends there.”
He walked towards the dancers, and the mayor, linking his arm in mine, followed close behind, saying in his loud hearty tones,—
He walked over to the dancers, and the mayor, linking his arm with mine, followed closely behind, saying in his loud, cheerful voice,—
“Come along, you too, Dr. Fenwick, my girls are there; you have not spoken to them yet.”
“Come on, you too, Dr. Fenwick, my girls are over there; you haven’t talked to them yet.”
Sir Philip, who was then half way across the room, turned round abruptly, and, looking me full in the face, said,—
Sir Philip, who was then halfway across the room, turned around suddenly and, looking me right in the face, said,—
“Fenwick, is your name Fenwick,—Allen Fenwick?”
“Fenwick, is your name Fenwick—Allen Fenwick?”
“That is my name, Sir Philip.”
"That's my name, Sir Phil."
“Then permit me to shake you by the hand; you are no stranger, and no mere acquaintance to me. Mr. Mayor, we will look into your ballroom later; do not let us keep you now from your other guests.”
“Then let me shake your hand; you’re not a stranger or just an acquaintance to me. Mr. Mayor, we’ll check out your ballroom later; don’t let us keep you from your other guests right now.”
The mayor, not in the least offended by being thus summarily dismissed, smiled, walked on, and was soon lost amongst the crowd.
The mayor, not at all bothered by being so abruptly dismissed, smiled, kept walking, and quickly disappeared into the crowd.
Sir Philip, still retaining my hand, reseated himself on the sofa, and I took my place by his side. The room was still deserted; now and then a straggler from the ballroom looked in for a moment, and then sauntered back to the central place of attraction.
Sir Philip, still holding my hand, sat back down on the sofa, and I took my spot beside him. The room was still empty; every now and then, someone from the ballroom peeked in for a moment before wandering back to the main event.
“I am trying to guess,” said I, “how my name should be known to you. Possibly you may, in some visit to the Lakes, have known my father?”
“I’m trying to figure out,” I said, “how my name might be known to you. Maybe you’ve met my father during a trip to the Lakes?”
“No; I know none of your name but yourself,—if, indeed, as I doubt not, you are the Allen Fenwick to whom I owe no small obligation. You were a medical student at Edinburgh in the year ——?”
“No; I don’t know anyone by your name but you—if, as I have no doubt, you are the Allen Fenwick to whom I owe quite a bit. You were a medical student at Edinburgh in the year ——?”
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
“So! At that time there was also at Edinburgh a young man, named Richard Strahan. He lodged in a fourth flat in the Old Town.”
“So! At that time, there was also a young man in Edinburgh named Richard Strahan. He lived on the fourth floor in the Old Town.”
“I remember him very well.”
“I remember him well.”
“And you remember, also, that a fire broke out at night in the house in which he lodged; that when it was discovered there seemed no hope of saving him. The flames wrapped the lower part of the house; the staircase had given way. A boy, scarcely so old as himself, was the only human being in the crowd who dared to scale the ladder that even then scarcely reached the windows from which the smoke rolled in volumes; that boy penetrated into the room, found the inmate almost insensible, rallied, supported, dragged him to the window, got him on the ladder,—saved his life then: and his life later, by nursing with a woman’s tenderness, through the fever caused by terror and excitement, the fellow-creature he had rescued by a man’s daring. The name of that gallant student was Allen Fenwick, and Richard Strahan is my nearest living relation. Are we friends now?”
“And you remember that a fire broke out at night in the house where he was staying; when it was discovered, it seemed hopeless to save him. The flames engulfed the lower part of the house, and the stairs had collapsed. A boy, hardly older than he was, was the only person in the crowd who dared to climb the ladder that barely reached the windows, from which smoke poured out in thick waves. That boy went into the room, found the occupant nearly unconscious, rallied him, supported him, and pulled him to the window, got him on the ladder — saved his life then: and helped save his life later, with a woman’s tenderness, as he nursed him through the fever caused by fear and stress, the fellow human he had rescued with a man’s bravery. The name of that brave student was Allen Fenwick, and Richard Strahan is my closest surviving relative. Are we friends now?”
I answered confusedly. I had almost forgotten the circumstances referred to. Richard Strahan had not been one of my more intimate companions, and I had never seen nor heard of him since leaving college. I inquired what had become of him.
I responded, feeling confused. I had nearly forgotten the situation being mentioned. Richard Strahan hadn’t been one of my closer friends, and I hadn’t seen or heard anything about him since graduating college. I asked what had happened to him.
“He is at the Scotch Bar,” said Sir Philip, “and of course without practice. I understand that he has fair average abilities, but no application. If I am rightly informed, he is, however, a thoroughly honourable, upright man, and of an affectionate and grateful disposition.”
“He's at the Scotch Bar,” said Sir Philip, “and, of course, he hasn’t had any practice. I hear he has decent abilities, but he doesn't apply himself. However, if I’ve got the right information, he is a genuinely honorable, upright man with a caring and grateful nature.”
“I can answer for all you have said in his praise. He had the qualities you name too deeply rooted in youth to have lost them now.”
“I can respond to everything you've said in his praise. He had the qualities you mentioned so deeply embedded in his youth that he couldn’t have lost them now.”
Sir Philip remained for some moments in a musing silence; and I took advantage of that silence to examine him with more minute attention than I had done before, much as the first sight of him had struck me.
Sir Philip stayed quiet for a moment, lost in thought, and I used that time to study him more closely than I had before, just like the first time I laid eyes on him had impacted me.
He was somewhat below the common height,—so delicately formed that one might call him rather fragile than slight. But in his carriage and air there was remarkable dignity. His countenance was at direct variance with his figure; for as delicacy was the attribute of the last, so power was unmistakably the characteristic of the first. He looked fully the age his steward had ascribed to him,—about forty-eight; at a superficial glance, more, for his hair was prematurely white,—not gray, but white as snow. But his eyebrows were still jet black, and his eyes, equally dark, were serenely bright. His forehead was magnificent,—lofty and spacious, and with only one slight wrinkle between the brows. His complexion was sunburnt, showing no sign of weak health. The outline of his lips was that which I have often remarked in men accustomed to great dangers, and contracting in such dangers the habit of self-reliance,—firm and quiet, compressed without an effort. And the power of this very noble countenance was not intimidating, not aggressive; it was mild, it was benignant. A man oppressed by some formidable tyranny, and despairing to find a protector, would, on seeing that face, have said, “Here is one who can protect me, and who will!”
He was a bit shorter than average, with a build that could be described as more fragile than slight. However, he carried himself with a remarkable dignity. His face contrasted sharply with his body; while his physique suggested delicacy, his expression undeniably conveyed strength. He appeared to be the age his steward had given him—around forty-eight; at first glance, he seemed older because his hair was prematurely white—not gray, but white as snow. His eyebrows were still jet black, and his equally dark eyes were bright and serene. His forehead was impressive—tall and wide, with just a slight wrinkle between his brows. His complexion was sun-kissed, showing no signs of poor health. The shape of his lips was reminiscent of men who are accustomed to great dangers, and who develop a habit of self-reliance in those situations—firm and calm, compressed without effort. Yet, the strength of his noble face wasn’t intimidating or aggressive; it was gentle and kind. A person suffering under a heavy oppression, desperately seeking a protector, would look at that face and think, “Here’s someone who can protect me, and will!”
Sir Philip was the first to break the silence.
Sir Philip was the first to speak up.
“I have so many relations scattered over England, that fortunately not one of them can venture to calculate on my property if I die childless, and therefore not one of them can feel himself injured when, a few weeks hence, he shall read in the newspapers that Philip Derval is married. But for Richard Strahan at least, though I never saw him, I must do something before the newspapers make that announcement. His sister was very dear to me.”
“I have so many relatives spread across England that luckily none of them can assume they’ll inherit my property if I die without children, so none of them will feel wronged when they read in the newspapers a few weeks from now that Philip Derval is married. But for Richard Strahan, at least, even though I’ve never met him, I need to do something before that announcement is made. His sister meant a lot to me.”
“Your neighbours, Sir Philip, will rejoice at your marriage, since, I presume, it may induce you to settle amongst them at Derval Court.”
“Your neighbors, Sir Philip, will be thrilled about your marriage, as I assume it might encourage you to live among them at Derval Court.”
“At Derval Court! No! I shall not settle there.” Again he paused a moment or so, and then went on: “I have long lived a wandering life, and in it learned much that the wisdom of cities cannot teach. I return to my native land with a profound conviction that the happiest life is the life most in common with all. I have gone out of my way to do what I deemed good, and to avert or mitigate what appeared to me evil. I pause now and ask myself, whether the most virtuous existence be not that in which virtue flows spontaneously from the springs of quiet everyday action; when a man does good without restlessly seeking it, does good unconsciously, simply because he is good and he lives. Better, perhaps, for me, if I had thought so long ago! And now I come back to England with the intention of marrying, late in life though it be, and with such hopes of happiness as any matter-of-fact man may form. But my hope will not be at Derval Court. I shall reside either in London or its immediate neighbourhood, and seek to gather round me minds by which I can correct, if I cannot confide to them, the knowledge I myself have acquired.”
“At Derval Court! No! I won't settle there.” He paused for a moment, then continued: “I’ve led a wandering life for a long time, and through it, I've learned a lot that city wisdom can’t teach. I return to my homeland with a strong belief that the happiest life is one that’s connected with everyone. I’ve gone out of my way to do what I thought was good and to prevent or lessen what I saw as evil. I now pause and wonder whether the most virtuous life is the one where virtue naturally comes from the simple actions of everyday life; when a person does good without anxiously seeking it, does good unconsciously, just because they are good and they live. Maybe I would have been better off if I had realized this long ago! Now, I return to England intending to marry, even if it’s later in life, and with whatever hopes for happiness a practical person might have. But my hope won’t be at Derval Court. I plan to live either in London or nearby, and I aim to surround myself with minds that can help me refine, if I can't share with them, the knowledge I've gained.”
“Nay, if, as I have accidentally heard, you are fond of scientific pursuits, I cannot wonder, that after so long an absence from England, you should feel interest in learning what new discoveries have been made, what new ideas are unfolding the germs of discoveries yet to be. But, pardon me, if in answer to your concluding remark, I venture to say that no man can hope to correct any error in his own knowledge, unless he has the courage to confide the error to those who can correct. La Place has said, ‘Tout se tient dans le chaine immense des verites;’ and the mistake we make in some science we have specially cultivated is often only to be seen by the light of a separate science as specially cultivated by another. Thus, in the investigation of truth, frank exposition to congenial minds is essential to the earnest seeker.”
“Look, if, as I've accidentally heard, you're into scientific pursuits, I can understand why, after being away from England for so long, you'd be interested in discovering what new findings have been made and what new ideas are developing into future discoveries. But forgive me if I respond to your last comment by saying that no one can hope to correct their own misunderstandings unless they have the courage to share those mistakes with others who can help. La Place said, 'Everything is connected in the vast chain of truths;' and the mistakes we make in a particular field we've focused on are often only clear when viewed through the lens of another field studied by someone else. So, in the quest for truth, being open with like-minded individuals is crucial for those who are truly seeking.”
“I am pleased with what you say,” said Sir Philip, “and I shall be still more pleased to find in you the very confidant I require. But what was your controversy with my old friend, Dr. Lloyd? Do I understand our host rightly, that it related to what in Europe has of late days obtained the name of mesmerism?”
“I’m glad to hear what you’re saying,” Sir Philip said, “and I’ll be even happier to find in you the exact confidant I need. But what was your disagreement with my old friend, Dr. Lloyd? Am I correct in understanding from our host that it had to do with what’s recently come to be known in Europe as mesmerism?”
I had conceived a strong desire to conciliate the good opinion of a man who had treated me with so singular and so familiar a kindness, and it was sincerely that I expressed my regret at the acerbity with which I had assailed Dr. Lloyd; but of his theories and pretensions I could not disguise my contempt. I enlarged on the extravagant fallacies involved in a fabulous “clairvoyance,” which always failed when put to plain test by sober-minded examiners. I did not deny the effects of imagination on certain nervous constitutions. “Mesmerism could cure nobody; credulity could cure many. There was the well-known story of the old woman tried as a witch; she cured agues by a charm. She owned the impeachment, and was ready to endure gibbet or stake for the truth of her talisman,—more than a mesmerist would for the truth of his passes! And the charm was a scroll of gibberish sewn in an old bag and given to the woman in a freak by the judge himself when a young scamp on the circuit. But the charm cured? Certainly; just as mesmerism cures. Fools believed in it. Faith, that moves mountains, may well cure agues.”
I had a strong desire to win over the good opinion of a man who had treated me with such unusual and familiar kindness, and I sincerely expressed my regret for the harsh way I had attacked Dr. Lloyd; however, I couldn't hide my contempt for his theories and claims. I elaborated on the ridiculous fallacies involved in a mythical “clairvoyance,” which always failed when examined by level-headed testers. I didn’t deny that imagination could affect certain nervous types. “Mesmerism can’t cure anyone; gullibility can cure many. There’s the well-known story of the old woman tried as a witch; she cured fevers with a charm. She admitted to the accusation and was ready to face the gallows or the stake for the truth of her talisman—more than a mesmerist would do for the truth of his tricks! And the charm was just a scroll of nonsense sewn into an old bag, which the judge himself had given her in a laugh when he was a young troublemaker on the circuit. But the charm worked? Absolutely; just like mesmerism works. Fools believed in it. Faith, which moves mountains, can certainly cure fevers.”
Thus I ran on, supporting my views with anecdote and facts, to which Sir Philip listened with placid gravity.
Thus I continued, backing up my opinions with stories and facts, while Sir Philip listened with calm seriousness.
When I had come to an end he said: “Of mesmerism, as practised in Europe, I know nothing except by report. I can well understand that medical men may hesitate to admit it amongst the legitimate resources of orthodox pathology; because, as I gather from what you and others say of its practice, it must, at the best, be far too uncertain in its application to satisfy the requirements of science. Yet an examination of its pretensions may enable you to perceive the truth that lies hid in the powers ascribed to witchcraft; benevolence is but a weak agency compared to malignity; magnetism perverted to evil may solve half the riddles of sorcery. On this, however, I say no more at present. But as to that which you appear to reject as the most preposterous and incredible pretension of the mesmerists, and which you designate by the word ‘clairvoyance,’ it is clear to me that you have never yourself witnessed even those very imperfect exhibitions which you decide at once to be imposture. I say imperfect, because it is only a limited number of persons whom the eye or the passes of the mesmerist can effect; and by such means, unaided by other means, it is rarely indeed that the magnetic sleep advances beyond the first vague shadowy twilight-dawn of that condition to which only in its fuller developments I would apply the name of ‘trance.’ But still trance is as essential a condition of being as sleep or as waking, having privileges peculiar to itself. By means within the range of the science that explores its nature and its laws, trance, unlike the clairvoyance you describe, is producible in every human being, however unimpressible to mere mesmerism.”
When I finished, he said, “I know nothing about mesmerism as it's practiced in Europe, except what I've heard. I can understand why medical professionals might be hesitant to include it among the accepted methods of traditional medicine; from what you and others say about its practice, it seems to be too unreliable to meet scientific standards. However, looking into its claims might help you recognize the truth hidden in the abilities tied to witchcraft; kindness is a weak force compared to malice; when magnetism is twisted for evil, it might explain many of the mysteries of sorcery. I won’t say more about that for now. But regarding what you seem to dismiss as the most ridiculous and unbelievable claim of the mesmerists, which you call ‘clairvoyance,’ it’s clear to me that you’ve never actually seen those imperfect demonstrations that you quickly label as a scam. I call them imperfect because only a limited number of people can be affected by the mesmerist’s gaze or gestures; and with those methods alone, it’s very rare for the magnetic sleep to go beyond the initial vague shadowy hints of a state that I would only refer to as ‘trance’ in its fuller forms. Still, trance is just as important a state of being as sleep or wakefulness, with its own unique characteristics. Using methods within the field that studies its nature and laws, trance can be induced in any person, no matter how unresponsive they are to simple mesmerism.”
“Producible in every human being! Pardon me if I say that I will give any enchanter his own terms who will produce that effect upon me.”
“Every human being can produce this! Excuse me for saying that I would accept any magician's deal who can make that happen to me.”
“Will you? You consent to have the experiment tried on yourself?”
“Will you? Do you agree to have the experiment done on yourself?”
“Consent most readily.”
"Agree readily."
“I will remember that promise. But to return to the subject. By the word ‘trance’ I do not mean exclusively the spiritual trance of the Alexandrian Platonists. There is one kind of trance,—that to which all human beings are susceptible,—in which the soul has no share: for of this kind of trance, and it was of this I spoke, some of the inferior animals are susceptible; and, therefore, trance is no more a proof of soul than is the clairvoyance of the mesmerists, or the dream of our ordinary sleep, which last has been called a proof of soul, though any man who has kept a dog must have observed that dogs dream as vividly as we do. But in this trance there is an extraordinary cerebral activity, a projectile force given to the mind, distinct from the soul, by which it sends forth its own emanations to a distance in spite of material obstacles, just as a flower, in an altered condition of atmosphere, sends forth the particles of its aroma. This should not surprise you. Your thought travels over land and sea in your waking state; thought, too, can travel in trance, and in trance may acquire an intensified force. There is, however, another kind of trance which is truly called spiritual, a trance much more rare, and in which the soul entirely supersedes the mere action of the mind.”
“I’ll remember that promise. But back to the topic. When I say 'trance,' I’m not just referring to the spiritual trance of the Alexandrian Platonists. There’s one type of trance that all humans can experience, where the soul isn’t involved: this kind of trance also affects some lower animals; therefore, trance isn’t proof of having a soul any more than the clairvoyance of mesmerists or the dreams we have during regular sleep. People have claimed that dreams are proof of a soul, but anyone who’s had a dog knows that dogs dream just as vividly as we do. In this trance, there’s an extraordinary brain activity, a force driving the mind, separate from the soul, allowing it to project its own thoughts over distances despite physical barriers, similar to how a flower releases its scent when the atmosphere changes. This shouldn't surprise you. Your thoughts travel across land and sea when you’re awake; they can also travel during trance, and in trance, they can gain even more power. However, there’s another type of trance that is truly spiritual, a much rarer trance in which the soul completely overrides just the action of the mind.”
“Stay!” said I; “you speak of the soul as something distinct from the mind. What the soul may be, I cannot pretend to conjecture; but I cannot separate it from the intelligence!”
“Wait!” I said; “you talk about the soul as if it's separate from the mind. I can't guess what the soul actually is, but I can't see it as different from intelligence!”
“Can you not? A blow on the brain can destroy the intelligence! Do you think it can destroy the soul?
“Can you not? A hit to the head can ruin intelligence! Do you think it can ruin the soul?
‘From Marlbro’s eyes the tears of dotage flow, And Swift expires, a driveller and a show.’
'From Marlbro's eyes the tears of old age flow, And Swift dies, a fool and a spectacle.'
“Towards the close of his life even Kant’s giant intellect left him. Do you suppose that in these various archetypes of intellectual man the soul was worn out by the years that loosened the strings, or made tuneless the keys, of the perishing instrument on which the mind must rely for all notes of its music? If you cannot distinguish the operations of the mind from the essence of the soul, I know not by what rational inductions you arrive at the conclusion that the soul is imperishable.”
“Towards the end of his life, even Kant's brilliant mind began to fade. Do you think that in these different examples of intellectualism, the soul wore out over the years, loosening the strings or making the keys of the dying instrument that the mind depends on for its music? If you can't separate the workings of the mind from the essence of the soul, I don’t know how you can logically conclude that the soul is indestructible.”
I remained silent. Sir Philip fixed on me his dark eyes quietly and searchingly, and, after a short pause, said,—
I stayed quiet. Sir Philip locked his dark eyes on me, studying me carefully, and after a brief pause, said,—
“Almost every known body in nature is susceptible of three several states of existence,—the solid, the liquid, the aeriform. These conditions depend on the quantity of heat they contain. The same object at one moment may be liquid; at the next moment solid; at the next aeriform. The water that flows before your gaze may stop consolidated into ice, or ascend into air as a vapour. Thus is man susceptible of three states of existence,—the animal, the mental, the spiritual; and according as he is brought into relation or affinity with that occult agency of the whole natural world, which we familiarly call heat, and which no science has yet explained, which no scale can weigh, and no eye discern, one or the other of these three states of being prevails, or is subjected.”
“Almost every known entity in nature can exist in three different states—the solid, the liquid, and the gaseous. These states depend on the amount of heat they contain. An object can be liquid one moment, solid the next, and then gaseous after that. The water flowing in front of you can freeze into ice or turn into vapor and rise into the air. Similarly, humans can exist in three states—the physical, the mental, and the spiritual; and depending on their connection to that mysterious force in the natural world that we commonly refer to as heat, which science has yet to explain, which no scale can measure, and which no eye can see, one of these three states of being will dominate or be experienced.”
I still continued silent, for I was unwilling discourteously to say to a stranger so much older than myself, that he seemed to me to reverse all the maxims of the philosophy to which he made pretence, in founding speculations audacious and abstruse upon unanalogous comparisons that would have been fantastic even in a poet. And Sir Philip, after another pause, resumed with a half smile,—
I stayed quiet because I didn’t want to rudely tell someone much older than me that he seemed to turn all the philosophical principles he claimed to follow upside down, making bold and complicated theories based on unrelated comparisons that would have seemed ridiculous even to a poet. And Sir Philip, after another pause, continued with a half-smile,—
“After what I have said, it will perhaps not very much surprise you when I add that but for my belief in the powers I ascribe to trance, we should not be known to each other at this moment.”
“Given what I've just explained, you probably won't be too surprised when I say that if it weren't for my belief in the abilities I attribute to trance, we wouldn't be acquainted at this moment.”
“How? Pray explain!”
“How? Please explain!”
“Certain circumstances, which I trust to relate to you in detail hereafter, have imposed on me the duty to discover, and to bring human laws to bear upon, a creature armed with terrible powers of evil. This monster, for without metaphor, monster it is, not man like ourselves, has, by arts superior to those of ordinary fugitives, however dexterous in concealment, hitherto for years eluded my research. Through the trance of an Arab child, who, in her waking state, never heard of his existence, I have learned that this being is in England, is in L——. I am here to encounter him. I expect to do so this very night, and under this very roof.”
“Certain circumstances, which I hope to explain to you in detail later, have made it my responsibility to find and apply human laws to a being with terrible powers of evil. This monster, and make no mistake, it is a monster, not a person like us, has escaped my investigation for years, using methods that are beyond those of ordinary fugitives, no matter how skilled they are at hiding. Through the trance of an Arab child, who has never heard of this being in her waking life, I have discovered that he is in England, specifically in L——. I am here to confront him. I expect to do so tonight, right under this very roof.”
“Sir Philip!”
“Sir Philip!”
“And if you wonder, as you well may, why I have been talking to you with this startling unreserve, know that the same Arab child, on whom I thus implicitly rely, informs me that your life is mixed up with that of the being I seek to unmask and disarm,—to be destroyed by his arts or his agents, or to combine in the causes by which the destroyer himself shall be brought to destruction.”
“And if you’re wondering, as you probably are, why I’ve been speaking to you so openly, just know that the same Arab child, whom I trust implicitly, tells me that your life is connected to the person I’m trying to reveal and neutralize—someone who needs to be either destroyed by his methods or his followers, or who must be confronted in the efforts that will lead to his own downfall.”
“My life!—your Arab child named me, Allen Fenwick?”
“My life!—your Arab child named me, Allen Fenwick?”
“My Arab child told me that the person in whom I should thus naturally seek an ally was he who had saved the life of the man whom I then meant for my heir, if I died unmarried and childless. She told me that I should not be many hours in this town, which she described minutely, before you would be made known to me. She described this house, with yonder lights, and yon dancers. In her trance she saw us sitting together, as we now sit. I accepted the invitation of our host, when he suddenly accosted me on entering the town, confident that I should meet you here, without even asking whether a person of your name were a resident in the place; and now you know why I have so freely unbosomed myself of much that might well make you, a physician, doubt the soundness of my understanding. The same infant, whose vision has been realized up to this moment, has warned me also that I am here at great peril. What that peril may be I have declined to learn, as I have ever declined to ask from the future what affects only my own life on this earth. That life I regard with supreme indifference, conscious that I have only to discharge, while it lasts, the duties for which it is bestowed on me, to the best of my imperfect power; and aware that minds the strongest and souls the purest may fall into the sloth habitual to predestinarians, if they suffer the action due to the present hour to be awed and paralyzed by some grim shadow on the future! It is only where, irrespectively of aught that can menace myself, a light not struck out of my own reason can guide me to disarm evil or minister to good, that I feel privileged to avail myself of those mirrors on which things, near and far, reflect themselves calm and distinct as the banks and the mountain peak are reflected in the glass of a lake. Here, then, under this roof, and by your side, I shall behold him who—Lo! the moment has come,—I behold him now!”
“My Arab child told me that the person I should naturally seek as an ally is the one who saved the life of the man I intended to make my heir if I died unmarried and childless. She said I wouldn't be in this town for long before I would meet you. She described this house with those lights and the dancers over there. In her vision, she saw us sitting together, just like we are now. I accepted the invitation from our host when he approached me as I entered town, certain I would find you here, without even asking if someone with your name lived here; and now you understand why I have shared so much with you that might make you, as a physician, question my sanity. The same child, whose vision has come true up to this point, has also warned me that I am in great danger here. I have chosen not to find out what that danger is, just as I have always avoided asking about the future regarding my own life on this earth. I view that life with complete indifference, aware that I must simply fulfill, while it lasts, the duties assigned to me to the best of my limited ability; and I recognize that even the strongest minds and the purest souls can fall into the complacency typical of those who believe in fate if they let their present actions be overshadowed and paralyzed by a grim vision of the future! It is only when a light, not born from my own reasoning, can guide me in doing good or overcoming evil, regardless of what may threaten me, that I feel I have the right to use those reflections that show things—both near and far—clear and distinct, just like riverbanks and mountain peaks are mirrored in a lake. So, here under this roof and by your side, I will see him who—Look! The moment is here—I see him now!”
As he spoke these last words, Sir Philip had risen, and, startled by his action and voice, I involuntarily rose too. Resting one hand on my shoulder, he pointed with the other towards the threshold of the ballroom. There, the prominent figure of a gay group—the sole male amidst a fluttering circle of silks and lawn, of flowery wreaths, of female loveliness and female frippery—stood the radiant image of Margrave. His eyes were not turned towards us. He was looking down, and his light laugh came soft, yet ringing, through the general murmur.
As he said his final words, Sir Philip stood up, and, surprised by his movement and voice, I instinctively got up as well. Resting one hand on my shoulder, he pointed with the other toward the entrance of the ballroom. There, at the center of a lively group—the only guy among a swirling circle of silks and lightweight fabrics, floral crowns, feminine beauty, and frilly outfits—was the dazzling figure of Margrave. He wasn’t looking at us. He seemed to be gazing down, and his light laughter floated softly yet clearly through the surrounding chatter.
I turned my astonished gaze back to Sir Philip; yes, unmistakably it was on Margrave that his look was fixed. Impossible to associate crime with the image of that fair youth! Eccentric notions, fantastic speculations, vivacious egotism, defective benevolence,—yes. But crime! No! impossible!
I turned my surprised gaze back to Sir Philip; yes, it was definitely on Margrave that his eyes were focused. It was hard to connect crime with the image of that handsome young man! Eccentric ideas, wild theories, lively self-interest, flawed kindness—sure. But crime! No! Impossible!
“Impossible,” I said aloud. As I spoke, the group had moved on. Margrave was no longer in sight. At the same moment some other guests came from the ballroom, and seated themselves near us.
“Impossible,” I said aloud. As I spoke, the group had moved on. Margrave was no longer in sight. At the same moment, some other guests came from the ballroom and sat down near us.
Sir Philip looked round, and, observing the deserted museum at the end of the corridor, drew me into it.
Sir Philip looked around and, seeing the empty museum at the end of the corridor, pulled me into it.
When we were alone, he said in a voice quick and low, but decided,—
When we were alone, he said in a fast, quiet, but firm voice,—
“It is of importance that I should convince you at once of the nature of that prodigy which is more hostile to mankind than the wolf is to the sheepfold. No words of mine could at present suffice to clear your sight from the deception which cheats it. I must enable you to judge for yourself. It must be now and here. He will learn this night, if he has not learned already, that I am in the town. Dim and confused though his memories of myself may be, they are memories still; and he well knows what cause he has to dread me. I must put another in possession of his secret. Another, and at once! For all his arts will be brought to bear against me, and I cannot foretell their issue. Go, then; enter that giddy crowd, select that seeming young man, bring him hither. Take care only not to mention my name; and when here, turn the key in the door, so as to prevent interruption,—five minutes will suffice.”
“It’s important that I convince you right away about this threat that’s more dangerous to humanity than a wolf is to a flock of sheep. No words from me can currently clear your vision from the illusion that misleads it. I need to help you judge for yourself. It has to happen now and here. He will find out tonight, if he hasn’t already, that I’m in town. Although his memories of me might be vague and unclear, they are still memories; he knows very well why he should fear me. I need to share his secret with someone else. Someone, and quickly! Because all his tricks will be aimed at me, and I can’t predict how that will turn out. So go; join that chaotic crowd, pick that young man who looks right, and bring him here. Just make sure not to mention my name; and when he’s here, lock the door to avoid any interruptions—five minutes will be enough.”
“Am I sure that I guess whom you mean? The young light-hearted man, known in this place under the name of Margrave? The young man with the radiant eyes, and the curls of a Grecian statue?”
“Am I sure I know who you’re talking about? The cheerful young man, known around here as Margrave? The one with the bright eyes and the curly hair of a Greek statue?”
“The same; him whom I pointed out. Quick, bring him hither.”
“Same guy; the one I just mentioned. Hurry, bring him here.”
My curiosity was too much roused to disobey. Had I conceived that Margrave, in the heat of youth, had committed some offence which placed him in danger of the law and in the power of Sir Philip Derval, I possessed enough of the old borderer’s black-mail loyalty to have given the man whose hand I had familiarly clasped a hint and a help to escape. But all Sir Philip’s talk had been so out of the reach of common-sense, that I rather expected to see him confounded by some egregious illusion than Margrave exposed to any well-grounded accusation. All, then, that I felt as I walked into the ballroom and approached Margrave was that curiosity which, I think, any one of my readers will acknowledge that, in my position, he himself would have felt.
My curiosity was too piqued to ignore. If I had thought that Margrave, in his youthful impulsiveness, had done something that put him in legal trouble and under Sir Philip Derval’s control, I would have had enough loyalty from the old borderer's code to give a heads-up or some help to the man whose hand I had shaken so casually. But all of Sir Philip's talk was so absurd that I expected him to be stumped by some ridiculous misconception rather than Margrave facing any legitimate accusation. So, as I walked into the ballroom and went up to Margrave, all I felt was the curiosity that I believe any of my readers would admit they would have felt in my situation.
Margrave was standing near the dancers, not joining them, but talking with a young couple in the ring. I drew him aside.
Margrave was standing by the dancers, not participating but chatting with a young couple in the circle. I pulled him aside.
“Come with me for a few minutes into the museum; I wish to talk to you.”
“Come with me to the museum for a few minutes; I want to talk to you.”
“What about,—an experiment?”
“How about an experiment?”
“Yes, an experiment.”
"Yep, a trial."
“Then I am at your service.”
"Then I'm here to help."
In a minute more, he had followed me into the desolate dead museum. I looked round, but did not see Sir Philip.
In just a minute, he had followed me into the empty, lifeless museum. I glanced around but didn’t see Sir Philip.
CHAPTER XXXII.
MARGRAVE threw himself on a seat just under the great anaconda; I closed and locked the door. When I had done so, my eye fell on the young man’s face, and I was surprised to see that it had lost its colour; that it showed great anxiety, great distress; that his hands were visibly trembling.
MARGRAVE threw himself onto a chair right under the huge anaconda; I shut and locked the door. Once I did that, I noticed the young man’s face and was surprised to see that he had lost all color; it showed significant anxiety and distress; his hands were clearly trembling.
“What is this?” he said in feeble tones, and raising himself half from his seat as if with great effort. “Help me up! come away! Something in this room is hostile to me, hostile, overpowering! What can it be?”
“What is this?” he said weakly, raising himself halfway from his seat as if it took a lot of effort. “Help me up! Let’s get out of here! Something in this room feels hostile to me, aggressive, overwhelming! What could it be?”
“Truth and my presence,” answered a stern, low voice; and Sir Philip Derval, whose slight form the huge bulk of the dead elephant had before obscured from my view, came suddenly out from the shadow into the full rays of the lamps which lit up, as if for Man’s revel, that mocking catacomb for the playmates of Nature which he enslaves for his service or slays for his sport. As Sir Philip spoke and advanced, Margrave sank back into his seat, shrinking, collapsing, nerveless; terror the most abject expressed in his staring eyes and parted lips. On the other hand, the simple dignity of Sir Philip Derval’s bearing, and the mild power of his countenance, were alike inconceivably heightened. A change had come over the whole man, the more impressive because wholly undefinable.
“Truth and my presence,” replied a serious, low voice. Sir Philip Derval, whose slight figure had been hidden from my view by the massive body of the dead elephant, suddenly stepped out from the shadow into the bright light of the lamps that illuminated, as if for Man’s celebration, that mocking catacomb for Nature’s playmates whom he enslaves for his service or kills for his sport. As Sir Philip spoke and moved forward, Margrave slipped back into his seat, shrinking, collapsing, and powerless; pure terror was evident in his wide eyes and parted lips. In contrast, the simple dignity of Sir Philip Derval’s stance and the gentle strength of his expression were both incredibly intensified. A change had transformed the whole man, and it was even more striking because it was completely indescribable.
Halting opposite Margrave he uttered some words in a language unknown to me, and stretched one hand over the young man’s head. Margrave at once became stiff and rigid, as if turned to stone. Sir Philip said to me,—
Halting in front of Margrave, he spoke some words in a language I didn’t understand and stretched one hand over the young man's head. Margrave instantly became stiff and rigid, as if he were made of stone. Sir Philip said to me,—
“Place one of those lamps on the floor,—there, by his feet.”
“Put one of those lamps on the floor—right by his feet.”
I took down one of the coloured lamps from the mimic tree round which the huge anaconda coiled its spires, and placed it as I was told.
I took one of the colored lamps down from the fake tree that the huge anaconda wrapped around, and put it where I was instructed.
“Take the seat opposite to him, and watch.”
“Sit across from him and pay attention.”
I obeyed.
I complied.
Meanwhile, Sir Philip had drawn from his breast-pocket a small steel casket, and I observed, as he opened it, that the interior was subdivided into several compartments, each with its separate lid; from one of these he took and sprinkled over the flame of the lamp a few grains of a powder, colourless and sparkling as diamond dust. In a second or so, a delicate perfume, wholly unfamiliar to my sense, rose from the lamp.
Meanwhile, Sir Philip pulled a small steel box out of his breast pocket, and I noticed, as he opened it, that the inside was divided into several sections, each with its own lid. From one of these, he took a few grains of a powder, colorless and sparkling like diamond dust, and sprinkled it over the flame of the lamp. In just a second, a delicate fragrance, completely unfamiliar to me, wafted up from the lamp.
“You would test the condition of trance; test it, and in the spirit.”
“You would check the state of trance; check it, and in the spirit.”
And, as he spoke, his hand rested lightly on my head. Hitherto, amidst a surprise not unmixed with awe, I had preserved a certain defiance, a certain distrust. I had been, as it were, on my guard.
And as he talked, his hand gently rested on my head. Until now, caught up in a mix of surprise and awe, I had held onto a sense of defiance, a bit of distrust. I had, in a way, been on my guard.
But as those words were spoken, as that hand rested on my head, as that perfume arose from the lamp, all power of will deserted me. My first sensation was that of passive subjugation; but soon I was aware of a strange intoxicating effect from the odour of the lamp, round which there now played a dazzling vapour. The room swam before me. Like a man oppressed by a nightmare, I tried to move, to cry out, feeling that to do so would suffice to burst the thrall that bound me: in vain.
But as those words were spoken, as that hand rested on my head, as that perfume wafted from the lamp, all my willpower vanished. My first feeling was one of passive submission; but soon I noticed a strange, intoxicating effect from the scent of the lamp, around which a dazzling vapor now danced. The room blurred before me. Like someone trapped in a nightmare, I tried to move, to scream, feeling that doing so would be enough to break the spell that held me: in vain.
A time that seemed to me inexorably long, but which, as I found afterwards, could only have occupied a few seconds, elapsed in this preliminary state, which, however powerless, was not without a vague luxurious sense of delight. And then suddenly came pain,—pain, that in rapid gradations passed into a rending agony. Every bone, sinew, nerve, fibre of the body, seemed as if wrenched open, and as if some hitherto unconjectured Presence in the vital organization were forcing itself to light with all the pangs of travail. The veins seemed swollen to bursting, the heart labouring to maintain its action by fierce spasms. I feel in this description how language fails me. Enough that the anguish I then endured surpassed all that I have ever experienced of physical pain. This dreadful interval subsided as suddenly as it had commenced. I felt as if a something undefinable by any name had rushed from me, and in that rush that a struggle was over. I was sensible of the passive bliss which attends the release from torture, and then there grew on me a wonderful calm, and, in that calm, a consciousness of some lofty intelligence immeasurably beyond that which human memory gathers from earthly knowledge. I saw before me the still rigid form of Margrave, and my sight seemed, with ease, to penetrate through its covering of flesh, and to survey the mechanism of the whole interior being.
A time that felt incredibly long to me, but which, as I later discovered, could only have lasted a few seconds, passed in this initial state, which, although powerless, wasn't without a vague sense of pleasure. And then suddenly, pain hit me—pain that quickly escalated into excruciating agony. Every bone, sinew, nerve, and fiber of my body felt like it was being torn apart, as if some unknown Presence within my very being was forcing its way to the surface with all the pains of labor. My veins felt ready to burst, and my heart was struggling to keep beating with violent spasms. I realize that words fail me in this description. It's enough to say that the agony I endured at that moment surpassed anything I had ever experienced in terms of physical pain. This horrifying period ended as suddenly as it had begun. I felt as if something indescribable had surged out of me, and in that surge, a struggle was over. I sensed the peaceful bliss that comes with release from suffering, and then a wonderful calm enveloped me, along with an awareness of some profound intelligence far beyond what human memory can gather from earthly knowledge. I saw the still, rigid form of Margrave before me, and my vision seemed effortlessly to penetrate through its flesh, allowing me to observe the inner workings of his entire being.
“View that tenement of clay which now seems so fair, as it was when I last beheld it, three years ago, in the house of Haroun of Aleppo!”
“Look at that clay body which now appears so lovely, just as it did when I last saw it, three years ago, in the house of Haroun of Aleppo!”
I looked, and gradually, and as shade after shade falls on the mountain side, while the clouds gather, and the sun vanishes at last, so the form and face on which I looked changed from exuberant youth into infirm old age,—the discoloured wrinkled skin, the bleared dim eye, the flaccid muscles, the brittle sapless bones. Nor was the change that of age alone; the expression of the countenance had passed into gloomy discontent, and in every furrow a passion or a vice had sown the seeds of grief.
I looked, and gradually, just like shadows fall on the mountainside as clouds gather and the sun finally disappears, the form and face I was observing shifted from vibrant youth to fragile old age—the discolored, wrinkled skin, the cloudy, dim eye, the soft muscles, and the brittle, lifeless bones. But it wasn’t just the change of age; the expression on their face had transformed into gloomy discontent, and in every line was the residue of a passion or vice that had planted the seeds of sorrow.
And the brain now opened on my sight, with all its labyrinth of cells. I seemed to have the clew to every winding in the maze.
And the brain now revealed itself to me, with all its complex network of cells. I felt like I had the key to every twist and turn in the maze.
I saw therein a moral world, charred and ruined, as, in some fable I have read, the world of the moon is described to be; yet withal it was a brain of magnificent formation. The powers abused to evil had been originally of rare order,—imagination, and scope, the energies that dare, the faculties that discover. But the moral part of the brain had failed to dominate the mental,—defective veneration of what is good or great; cynical disdain of what is right and just; in fine, a great intellect first misguided, then perverted, and now falling with the decay of the body into ghastly but imposing ruins,—such was the world of that brain as it had been three years ago. And still continuing to gaze thereon, I observed three separate emanations of light,—the one of a pale red hue, the second of a pale azure, the third a silvery spark.
I saw a moral world that was charred and ruined, like the one described in some fable I’ve read about the moon; yet it was still a brain of incredible formation. The powers that were misused for evil had originally been extraordinary—imagination, ambition, the courage to take risks, and the ability to discover. But the moral part of the brain had failed to control the mental part—there was a lack of respect for what is good or great; a cynical disregard for what is right and just; ultimately, it was a great intellect that was first misled, then corrupted, and now collapsing with the decay of the body into ghastly but impressive ruins—that was the world of that brain as it had been three years ago. As I continued to look, I noticed three separate sources of light—one with a faint red glow, the second a pale blue, and the third a silvery spark.
The red light, which grew paler and paler as I looked, undulated from the brain along the arteries, the veins, the nerves. And I murmured to myself, “Is this the principle of animal life?”
The red light, which got lighter and lighter as I stared, flowed from the brain through the arteries, veins, and nerves. And I whispered to myself, “Is this what drives animal life?”
The azure light equally permeated the frame, crossing and uniting with the red, but in a separate and distinct ray, exactly as, in the outer world, a ray of light crosses or unites with a ray of heat, though in itself a separate individual agency. And again I murmured to myself, “Is this the principle of intellectual being, directing or influencing that of animal life; with it, yet not of it?”
The blue light filled the frame, blending and connecting with the red, but in a separate and distinct beam, just like in the real world, a beam of light intersects or merges with a beam of heat, even though each is its own separate force. And again I whispered to myself, “Is this the principle of intellectual existence, guiding or affecting that of animal life; with it, but not of it?”
But the silvery spark! What was that? Its centre seemed the brain; but I could fix it to no single organ. Nay, wherever I looked through the system, it reflected itself as a star reflects itself upon water. And I observed that while the red light was growing feebler and feebler, and the azure light was confused, irregular,—now obstructed, now hurrying, now almost lost,—the silvery spark was unaltered, undisturbed. So independent was it of all which agitated and vexed the frame, that I became strangely aware that if the heart stopped in its action, and the red light died out; if the brain were paralyzed, that energetic mind smitten into idiotcy, and the azure light wandering objectless as a meteor wanders over the morass,—still that silver spark would shine the same, indestructible by aught that shattered its tabernacle. And I murmured to myself, “Can that starry spark speak the presence of the soul? Does the silver light shine within creatures to which no life immortal has been promised by Divine Revelation?”
But that silvery spark! What was it? Its center seemed to be the brain, but I couldn’t tie it to any single organ. No, wherever I looked through the system, it reflected itself like a star reflecting on water. I noticed that while the red light grew weaker and weaker, and the blue light was confused and irregular—sometimes blocked, sometimes rushing, almost lost—the silvery spark remained unchanged and undisturbed. It was so independent of everything that troubled and disturbed the body that I became oddly aware that even if the heart stopped beating and the red light faded away; if the brain became paralyzed, and that energetic mind turned to idiocy while the blue light wandered aimlessly like a meteor over a swamp—still that silver spark would shine the same, indestructible by anything that destroyed its vessel. And I whispered to myself, “Can that starry spark indicate the presence of the soul? Does the silver light shine within beings to whom no eternal life has been promised by Divine Revelation?”
Involuntarily I turned my sight towards the dead forms in the motley collection, and lo, in my trance or my vision, life returned to them all!—to the elephant and the serpent; to the tiger, the vulture, the beetle, the moth; to the fish and the polypus, and to yon mockery of man in the giant ape.
Involuntarily, I looked at the lifeless figures in the mixed collection, and suddenly, in my trance or vision, life came back to them all!—to the elephant and the snake; to the tiger, the vulture, the beetle, the moth; to the fish and the octopus, and to that mockery of man in the giant ape.
I seemed to see each as it lived in its native realm of earth, or of air, or of water; and the red light played more or less warm through the structure of each, and the azure light, though duller of hue, seemed to shoot through the red, and communicate to the creatures an intelligence far inferior indeed to that of man, but sufficing to conduct the current of their will, and influence the cunning of their instincts. But in none, from the elephant to the moth, from the bird in which brain was the largest to the hybrid in which life seemed to live as in plants,—in none was visible the starry silver spark. I turned my eyes from the creatures around, back again to the form cowering under the huge anaconda, and in terror at the animation which the carcasses took in the awful illusions of that marvellous trance; for the tiger moved as if scenting blood, and to the eyes of the serpent the dread fascination seemed slowly returning.
I felt like I could see each creature in its natural habitat, whether on land, in the air, or in water; the red light flowed warmly through each one, and although the blue light was less vibrant, it seemed to penetrate the red and give the creatures a kind of awareness that, while definitely less than human, was enough to guide their actions and shape their instincts. But in none of them—whether it was the elephant or the moth, the bird with the biggest brain or the creature that seemed to live like a plant—was there any sign of that starry silver spark. I turned my gaze away from the creatures around me back to the figure cowering beneath the massive anaconda, filled with dread at the movements of the carcasses under the terrifying illusions of that extraordinary trance; the tiger moved as if it could smell blood, and the terrifying allure seemed to be slowly coming back to the serpent's eyes.
Again I gazed on the starry spark in the form of the man. And I murmured to myself, “But if this be the soul, why is it so undisturbed and undarkened by the sins which have left such trace and such ravage in the world of the brain?” And gazing yet more intently on the spark, I became vaguely aware that it was not the soul, but the halo around the soul, as the star we see in heaven is not the star itself, but its circle of rays; and if the light itself was undisturbed and undarkened, it was because no sins done in the body could annihilate its essence, nor affect the eternity of its duration. The light was clear within the ruins of its lodgment, because it might pass away, but could not be extinguished.
Again I looked at the starry spark that took the shape of a man. And I murmured to myself, “But if this is the soul, why is it so calm and unaffected by the sins that have left such marks and destruction in the realm of the mind?” And as I gazed even more intensely at the spark, I started to realize that it wasn't the soul itself, but the halo around the soul, just like the star we see in the sky isn’t the star itself, but its circle of light; and if the light itself was serene and untouched, it was because no sins committed in the body could destroy its essence or affect its eternity. The light remained clear within the wreckage of its dwelling, because it could fade away but could never be snuffed out.
But the soul itself in the heart of the light reflected back on my own soul within me its ineffable trouble, humiliation, and sorrow; for those ghastly wrecks of power placed at its sovereign command it was responsible, and, appalled by its own sublime fate of duration, was about to carry into eternity the account of its mission in time. Yet it seemed that while the soul was still there, though so forlorn and so guilty, even the wrecks around it were majestic. And the soul, whatever sentence it might merit, was not among the hopelessly lost; for in its remorse and its shame, it might still have retained what could serve for redemption. And I saw that the mind was storming the soul, in some terrible rebellious war,—all of thought, of passion, of desire, through which the azure light poured its restless flow, were surging up round the starry spark, as in siege. And I could not comprehend the war, nor guess what it was that the mind demanded the soul to yield. Only the distinction between the two was made intelligible by their antagonism. And I saw that the soul, sorely tempted, looked afar for escape from the subjects it had ever so ill controlled, and who sought to reduce to their vassal the power which had lost authority as their king. I could feel its terror in the sympathy of my own terror, the keenness of my own supplicating pity. I knew that it was imploring release from the perils it confessed its want of strength to encounter. And suddenly the starry spark rose from the ruins and the tumult around it,—rose into space and vanished; and where my soul had recognized the presence of soul, there was a void. But the red light burned still, becoming more and more vivid; and as it thus repaired and recruited its lustre, the whole animal form, which had been so decrepit, grew restored from decay, grew into vigour and youth: and I saw Margrave as I had seen him in the waking world, the radiant image of animal life in the beauty of its fairest bloom.
But the soul itself, in the heart of the light, reflected back on my own soul its indescribable struggle, humiliation, and sorrow. It was responsible for those horrific remnants of power that were once under its control, and, horrified by its own sublime fate of existence, was about to carry into eternity the record of its mission in life. Yet it seemed that while the soul was still there, forlorn and guilty, even the ruins around it had a kind of majesty. And the soul, no matter the judgment it might deserve, was not among the hopelessly lost; for in its remorse and shame, it might still hold on to what could lead to redemption. I could see that the mind was waging a fierce battle against the soul, all of thought, passion, and desire surging around the brilliant spark like a siege. I couldn’t understand the conflict, nor could I guess what the mind wanted the soul to surrender. The only clear distinction between the two came from their opposition. I saw that the soul, deeply tempted, looked far away for a way out from the subjects it had so poorly controlled, who wanted to reduce to their servant the power that had lost its authority as their leader. I could feel its terror through the empathy of my own fear and the intensity of my pleading pity. I knew it was begging for release from the dangers it admitted it couldn’t handle. Suddenly, the brilliant spark rose from the debris and chaos around it — rose into the sky and disappeared; and where my soul had recognized the presence of a soul, there was an emptiness. But the red light still burned, becoming more and more vivid; and as it repaired and restored its brightness, the whole animal form, which had been so weak, revived from decay, blossomed into strength and youth: and I saw Margrave as I had seen him in the waking world, the radiant image of animal life in the beauty of its fullest bloom.
And over this rich vitality and this symmetric mechanism now reigned only, with the animal life, the mind. The starry light fled and the soul vanished, still was left visible the mind,—mind, by which sensations convey and cumulate ideas, and muscles obey volition; mind, as in those animals that have more than the elementary, instincts; mind, as it might be in men, were men not immortal. As my eyes, in the Vision, followed the azure light, undulating as before, through the cells of the brain, and crossing the red amidst the labyrinth of the nerves, I perceived that the essence of that azure light had undergone a change: it had lost that faculty of continuous and concentred power by which man improves on the works of the past, and weaves schemes to be developed in the future of remote generations; it had lost all sympathy in the past, because it had lost all conception of a future beyond the grave; it had lost conscience, it had lost remorse; the being it informed was no longer accountable through eternity for the employment of time. The azure light was even more vivid in certain organs useful to the conservation of existence, as in those organs I had observed it more vivid among some of the inferior animals than it is in man,—secretiveness, destructiveness, and the ready perception of things immediate to the wants of the day; and the azure light was brilliant in cerebral cells, where before it had been dark, such as those which harbour mirthfulness and hope, for there the light was recruited by the exuberant health of the joyous animal-being. But it was lead-like, or dim, in the great social organs, through which man subordinates his own interest to that of his species, and utterly lost in those through which man is reminded of his duties to the throne of his Maker.
And over this rich vitality and this symmetrical mechanism, only the mind ruled alongside the animal life. The starry light faded and the soul disappeared, but the mind remained visible—mind, through which sensations convey and accumulate ideas, and muscles respond to will; mind, like in those animals that have more than just basic instincts; mind, as it could be in men if men weren't immortal. As my eyes followed the azure light, undulating as before, through the cells of the brain and crossing the red amidst the labyrinth of the nerves, I realized that the essence of that azure light had changed: it had lost that ability for continuous and focused power that allows humans to improve upon past work and create plans for the distant future; it had lost all connection to the past because it had lost any idea of a future beyond death; it had lost conscience and remorse; the being it informed was no longer held accountable for how they spent their time through eternity. The azure light was even more intense in certain organs essential for survival, as I had observed it was more vivid in some of the lower animals than in humans—traits like stealth, destructiveness, and quick awareness of immediate needs; and the azure light shone brightly in cerebral cells where it had once been dark, like those that house joyfulness and hope, as the light was boosted by the vibrant health of the joyful animal being. But it was leaden or dim in the important social organs, through which humans sacrifice their own interests for the benefit of their species, and completely absent in those through which humans are reminded of their responsibilities to their Creator.
In that marvellous penetration with which the Vision endowed me, I perceived that in this mind, though in energy far superior to many; though retaining, from memories of the former existence, the relics of a culture wide and in some things profound; though sharpened and quickened into formidable, if desultory, force whenever it schemed or aimed at the animal self-conservation which now made its master—impulse or instinct; and though among the reminiscences of its state before its change were arts which I could not comprehend, but which I felt were dark and terrible, lending to a will never checked by remorse arms that no healthful philosophy has placed in the arsenal of disciplined genius; though the mind in itself had an ally in a body as perfect in strength and elasticity as man can take from the favour of nature,—still, I say, I felt that the mind wanted the something without which men never could found cities, frame laws, bind together, beautify, exalt the elements of this world, by creeds that habitually subject them to a reference to another. The ant and the bee and the beaver congregate and construct; but they do not improve. Man improves because the future impels onward that which is not found in the ant, the bee, and the beaver,—that which was gone from the being before me.
In that remarkable insight I was given, I realized that in this mind, although it had far more energy than many others; although it carried, from memories of its past life, fragments of a broad and somewhat deep culture; although it was intense and driven with a powerful, albeit scattered, force whenever it pursued its basic survival needs—impulses or instincts; and although it held memories of its previous state that included arts I couldn't understand but sensed were dark and terrifying, giving a will unchecked by remorse tools that no healthy philosophy provides to a disciplined genius; even though this mind had an ally in a body that was as strong and flexible as nature could make it—I still felt that the mind lacked something necessary for humans to build cities, create laws, connect with each other, enhance, and elevate the elements of this world through beliefs that consistently link them to something greater. Ants, bees, and beavers gather and build; but they do not improve. Humans improve because the future drives forth what is missing in the ant, the bee, and the beaver—that which was absent from the being before me.
I shrank appalled into myself, covered my face with my hands, and groaned aloud: “Have I ever then doubted that soul is distinct from mind?”
I shrank back in shock, covered my face with my hands, and groaned out loud: “Have I ever doubted that the soul is separate from the mind?”
A hand here again touched my forehead, the light in the lamp was extinguished, I became insensible; and when I recovered I found myself back in the room in which I had first conversed with Sir Philip Derval, and seated, as before, on the sofa, by his side.
A hand touched my forehead again, the lamp light went out, I lost consciousness; and when I came to, I found myself back in the room where I had first talked with Sir Philip Derval, sitting, as before, on the sofa next to him.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
My recollections of all which I have just attempted to describe were distinct and vivid; except with respect to time, it seemed to me as if many hours must have elapsed since I had entered the museum with Margrave; but the clock on the mantelpiece met my eyes as I turned them wistfully round the room; and I was indeed amazed to perceive that five minutes had sufficed for all which it has taken me so long to narrate, and which in their transit had hurried me through ideas and emotions so remote from anterior experience.
My memories of everything I just tried to describe were clear and intense; except for the timing, it felt like I had spent hours in the museum with Margrave. However, when I glanced over at the clock on the mantelpiece, I was shocked to see that only five minutes had passed for all the things I've taken so long to share, and during that time, I had raced through thoughts and feelings that were so far removed from anything I had experienced before.
To my astonishment now succeeded shame and indignation,—shame that I, who had scoffed at the possibility of the comparatively credible influences of mesmeric action, should have been so helpless a puppet under the hand of the slight fellow-man beside me, and so morbidly impressed by phantasmagorieal illusions; indignation that, by some fumes which had special potency over the brain, I had thus been, as it were, conjured out of my senses; and looking full into the calm face at my side, I said, with a smile to which I sought to convey disdain,—
To my surprise, I was now filled with shame and anger—shame that I, who had mocked the idea of the believable effects of mesmerism, could be such a helpless puppet under the control of the slight person next to me, and so deeply affected by these illusionary visions; anger that, due to some fumes that had a unique effect on my mind, I had been, in a way, pulled out of my senses; and looking directly at the calm face beside me, I said, with a smile that I tried to make look disdainful,—
“I congratulate you, Sir Philip Derval, on having learned in your travels in the East so expert a familiarity with the tricks of its jugglers.”
“I congratulate you, Sir Philip Derval, on having gained such a skilled understanding of the tricks of the Eastern jugglers during your travels.”
“The East has a proverb,” answered Sir Philip, quietly, “that the juggler may learn much from the dervish, but the dervish can learn nothing from the juggler. You will pardon me, however, for the effect produced on you for a few minutes, whatever the cause of it may be, since it may serve to guard your whole life from calamities, to which it might otherwise have been exposed. And however you may consider that which you have just experienced to be a mere optical illusion, or the figment of a brain super-excited by the fumes of a vapour, look within yourself, and tell me if you do not feel an inward and unanswerable conviction that there is more reason to shun and to fear the creature you left asleep under the dead jaws of the giant serpent, than there would be in the serpent itself, could hunger again move its coils, and venom again arm its fangs.”
“The East has a saying,” Sir Philip replied calmly, “that a juggler can learn a lot from a dervish, but the dervish can’t learn anything from the juggler. Please forgive me for the impact this has had on you for a little while, whatever the reason might be, since it could help protect your life from dangers you might not have otherwise avoided. And even if you think what you just went through was just an optical illusion, or the creation of a mind overly stimulated by vapors, look inside yourself and tell me if you don’t feel a deep, undeniable conviction that there’s more reason to avoid and fear the creature you left sleeping under the dead jaws of the giant serpent than there would be if the serpent itself could once again feel hunger and ready its fangs with venom.”
I was silent, for I could not deny that that conviction had come to me.
I was quiet because I couldn't deny that belief had taken hold of me.
“Henceforth, when you recover from the confusion or anger which now disturbs your impressions, you will be prepared to listen to my explanations and my recital in a spirit far different from that with which you would have received them before you were subjected to the experiment, which, allow me to remind you, you invited and defied. You will now, I trust, be fitted to become my confidant and my assistant; you will advise with me how, for the sake of humanity, we should act together against the incarnate lie, the anomalous prodigy which glides through the crowd in the image of joyous beauty. For the present I quit you. I have an engagement, on worldly affairs, in the town this night. I am staying at L——, which I shall leave for Derval Court tomorrow evening. Come to me there the day after to-morrow, at any hour that may suit you the best. Adieu!”
“From now on, once you’ve overcome the confusion or anger that’s now clouding your thoughts, you’ll be ready to hear my explanations and my story with a much different attitude than you would have before this experiment, which I remind you, you requested and challenged. I hope you’ll be ready to be my confidant and partner; you’ll help me decide how we should work together, for the sake of humanity, against the embodied falsehood, the strange marvel that moves through the crowd disguised as joyful beauty. For now, I must leave you. I have a commitment regarding worldly matters in town tonight. I’m staying at L——, which I will leave for Derval Court tomorrow evening. Come see me there the day after tomorrow, at whatever time works best for you. Goodbye!”
Here Sir Philip Derval rose and left the room. I made no effort to detain him. My mind was too occupied in striving to recompose itself and account for the phenomena that had scared it, and for the strength of the impressions it still retained.
Here Sir Philip Derval stood up and left the room. I didn't try to stop him. My mind was too busy trying to gather itself and make sense of the things that had frightened me, and the intensity of the impressions it still held onto.
I sought to find natural and accountable causes for effects so abnormal.
I aimed to find natural and reliable causes for such unusual effects.
Lord Bacon suggests that the ointments with which witches anointed themselves might have had the effect of stopping the pores and congesting the rain, and thus impressing the sleep of the unhappy dupes of their own imagination with dreams so vivid that, on waking, they were firmly convinced that they had been borne through the air to the Sabbat.
Lord Bacon suggests that the ointments witches used to anoint themselves might have blocked their pores and caused them to feel a rush of sensations, leading the unfortunate victims of their own imagination to have such vivid dreams that, upon waking, they were completely convinced they had flown through the air to the Sabbat.
I remember also having heard a distinguished French traveller—whose veracity was unquestionable—say, that he had witnessed extraordinary effects produced on the sensorium by certain fumigations used by an African pretender to magic. A person, of however healthy a brain; subjected to the influence of these fumigations, was induced to believe that he saw the most frightful apparitions.
I also remember hearing a respected French traveler—whose honesty was beyond doubt—say that he had seen amazing effects on the senses caused by certain smoke used by an African fake magician. A person, no matter how healthy their mind, subjected to these fumes would be led to believe they were seeing the most terrifying visions.
However extraordinary such effects, they were not incredible,—not at variance with our notions of the known laws of nature. And to the vapour or the odours which a powder applied to a lamp had called forth, I was, therefore, prepared to ascribe properties similar to those which Bacon’s conjecture ascribed to the witches’ ointment, and the French traveller to the fumigations of the African conjuror.
However extraordinary these effects were, they weren't unbelievable—they didn't conflict with our understanding of the known laws of nature. So, for the vapor or the scents that a powder applied to a lamp had produced, I was ready to attribute properties similar to those that Bacon's theory related to the witches' ointment, and the French traveler linked to the smoke of the African conjuror.
But, as I came to that conclusion, I was seized with an intense curiosity to examine for myself those chemical agencies with which Sir Philip Derval appeared so familiar; to test the contents in that mysterious casket of steel. I also felt a curiosity no less eager, but more, in spite of myself, intermingled with fear, to learn all that Sir Philip had to communicate of the past history of Margrave. I could but suppose that the young man must indeed be a terrible criminal, for a person of years so grave, and station so high, to intimate accusations so vaguely dark, and to use means so extraordinary, in order to enlist my imagination rather than my reason against a youth in whom there appeared none of the signs which suspicion interprets into guilt.
But as I reached that conclusion, I was hit with a strong desire to explore those chemical processes that Sir Philip Derval seemed so knowledgeable about; to check out the contents of that mysterious steel box. I also had a curiosity that was just as intense, but also mixed with fear, to find out everything Sir Philip had to share about Margrave's past. I could only assume that the young man had to be a serious criminal, since someone of such age and high status would hint at such vague and dark accusations and use such unusual methods to sway my imagination rather than my logic against a youth who showed none of the signs that suspicion usually associates with guilt.
While thus musing, I lifted my eyes and saw Margrave himself there at the threshold of the ballroom,—there, where Sir Philip had first pointed him out as the criminal he had come to L—— to seek and disarm; and now, as then, Margrave was the radiant centre of a joyous group. Not the young boy-god Iacchus, amidst his nymphs, could, in Grecian frieze or picture, have seemed more the type of the sportive, hilarious vitality of sensuous nature. He must have passed unobserved by me, in my preoccupation of thought, from the museum and across the room in which I sat; and now there was as little trace in that animated countenance of the terror it had exhibited at Sir Philip’s approach, as of the change it had undergone in my trance or my fantasy.
While I was lost in thought, I looked up and saw Margrave standing at the entrance of the ballroom—where Sir Philip had first pointed him out as the criminal he had come to L—— to find and disarm. Just like before, Margrave was the shining center of a joyful group. Not even the youthful god Iacchus, surrounded by his nymphs in Greek art, could have embodied the lively, playful energy of sensual nature more than he did. He must have passed by me unnoticed, caught up in my thoughts, from the museum and across the room where I sat; and now there was no sign on that animated face of the fear it had shown at Sir Philip’s arrival, nor of the transformation it had gone through in my trance or fantasy.
But he caught sight of me, left his young companions, came gayly to my side.
But he noticed me, left his young friends, and happily came over to my side.
“Did you not ask me to go with you into that museum about half an hour ago, or did I dream that I went with you?”
“Did you not ask me to go with you to that museum about half an hour ago, or did I dream that I went with you?”
“Yes; you went with me into that museum.”
“Yes; you came with me to that museum.”
“Then pray what dull theme did you select to set me asleep there?”
“Then what boring topic did you choose to put me to sleep?”
I looked hard at him, and made no reply. Somewhat to my relief, I now heard my host’s voice,—
I stared at him intently and didn’t say anything. To my relief, I finally heard my host speaking,—
“Why, Fenwick, what has become of Sir Philip Derval?”
“Why, Fenwick, what happened to Sir Philip Derval?”
“He has left; he had business.” And, as I spoke, again I looked hard on Margrave.
“He's gone; he had some things to take care of.” And, as I said this, I glanced sharply at Margrave.
His countenance now showed a change; not surprise, not dismay, but rather a play of the lip, a flash of the eye, that indicated complacency,—even triumph.
His expression now revealed a change; not shock, not disappointment, but rather a twitch of the lip, a glint in the eye, that suggested satisfaction—almost triumph.
“So! Sir Philip Derval! He is in L——; he has been here to-night? So! as I expected.”
“So! Sir Philip Derval! He's in L——; he was here tonight? So! Just as I figured.”
“Did you expect it?” said our host. “No one else did. Who could have told you?”
“Did you see that coming?” our host asked. “No one else did. Who could have possibly let you know?”
“The movements of men so distinguished need never take us by surprise. I knew he was in Paris the other day. It is natural eno’ that he should come here. I was prepared for his coming.”
“The actions of such notable men should never catch us off guard. I knew he was in Paris recently. It’s completely normal for him to come here. I was ready for his arrival.”
Margrave here turned away towards the window, which he threw open and looked out.
Margrave turned away to the window, threw it open, and looked outside.
“There is a storm in the air,” said he, as he continued to gaze into the night.
“There’s a storm coming,” he said, as he kept looking into the night.
Was it possible that Margrave was so wholly unconscious of what had passed in the museum as to include in oblivion even the remembrance of Sir Philip Derval’s presence before he had been rendered insensible, or laid asleep? Was it now only for the first time that he learned of Sir Philip’s arrival in L——, and visit to that house? Was there any intimation of menace in his words and his aspect?
Was it possible that Margrave was completely unaware of what happened in the museum, to the point of forgetting that Sir Philip Derval had been there before he lost consciousness or fell asleep? Was this the first time he was learning about Sir Philip’s arrival in L—— and visit to that house? Did his words and expressions suggest any threat?
I felt that the trouble of my thoughts communicated itself to my countenance and manner; and, longing for solitude and fresh air, I quitted the house. When I found myself in the street I turned round and saw Margrave still standing at the open window, but he did not appear to notice me; his eyes seemed fixed abstractedly on space.
I sensed that the turmoil in my mind showed on my face and in my behavior. Wanting some alone time and fresh air, I left the house. Once outside, I looked back and saw Margrave still at the open window, but he didn't seem to notice me; his gaze was blankly lost in thought.
CHAPTER XXXIV.
I walked on slowly and with the downcast brow of a man absorbed in meditation. I had gained the broad place in which the main streets of the town converged, when I was overtaken by a violent storm of rain. I sought shelter under the dark archway of that entrance to the district of Abbey Hill which was still called Monk’s Gate. The shadow within the arch was so deep that I was not aware that I had a companion till I heard my own name, close at my side. I recognized the voice before I could distinguish the form of Sir Philip Derval.
I walked slowly, my head down like someone deep in thought. I had reached the wide area where the main streets of the town met when a heavy rainstorm hit. I found shelter under the dark archway of the entrance to Abbey Hill, still known as Monk’s Gate. The shadow in the arch was so thick that I didn’t notice I had company until I heard my name spoken right next to me. I recognized the voice before I could see the figure of Sir Philip Derval.
“The storm will soon be over,” said he, quietly. “I saw it coming on in time. I fear you neglected the first warning of those sable clouds, and must be already drenched.”
“The storm will be over soon,” he said softly. “I noticed it coming early. I’m afraid you ignored the first signs of those dark clouds and must already be soaked.”
I made no reply, but moved involuntarily away towards the mouth of the arch.
I didn’t respond, but I instinctively moved away toward the entrance of the arch.
“I see that you cherish a grudge against me!” resumed Sir Philip. “Are you, then, by nature vindictive?”
“I see that you hold a grudge against me!” continued Sir Philip. “Are you naturally vindictive?”
Somewhat softened by the friendly tone of this reproach, I answered, half in jest, half in earnest,—
Somewhat softened by the friendly tone of this reproach, I replied, half joking and half serious,—
“You must own, Sir Philip, that I have some little reason for the uncharitable anger your question imputes to me. But I can forgive you, on one condition.”
“You have to admit, Sir Philip, that I have a good reason for the unkind anger your question suggests I feel. But I can forgive you if you meet one condition.”
“What is that?”
"What's that?"
“The possession for half an hour of that mysterious steel casket which you carry about with you, and full permission to analyze and test its contents.”
“The chance to hold that mysterious steel case you carry around with you for half an hour, and the complete freedom to examine and test what’s inside.”
“Your analysis of the contents,” returned Sir Philip, dryly, “would leave you as ignorant as before of the uses to which they can be applied; but I will own to you frankly, that it is my intention to select some confidant among men of science, to whom I may safely communicate the wonderful properties which certain essences in that casket possess. I invite your acquaintance, nay, your friendship, in the hope that I may find such a confidant in you. But the casket contains other combinations, which, if wasted, could not be resupplied,—at least by any process which the great Master from whom I received them placed within reach of my knowledge. In this they resemble the diamond; when the chemist has found that the diamond affords no other substance by its combustion than pure carbonic-acid gas, and that the only chemical difference between the costliest diamond and a lump of pure charcoal is a proportion of hydrogen less than 1/100000 part of the weight of the substance, can the chemist make you a diamond?
“Your analysis of the contents,” replied Sir Philip, dryly, “would leave you just as clueless as before about how they can be used; but I have to admit that I plan to choose a confidant from among the scientists to whom I can safely reveal the amazing properties that some of the essences in that casket possess. I invite your acquaintance, even your friendship, hoping that I might find such a confidant in you. However, the casket holds other combinations, which, if wasted, cannot be replaced—at least not by any method the great Master who gave them to me deemed accessible to my understanding. In this way, they are like diamonds; when the chemist discovers that a diamond produces nothing other than pure carbon dioxide gas when burned, and that the only chemical difference between the most expensive diamond and a piece of pure charcoal is a hydrogen proportion less than 1/100,000 of the weight of the substance, can the chemist create a diamond for you?
“These, then, the more potent, but also the more perilous of the casket’s contents, shall be explored by no science, submitted to no test. They are the keys to masked doors in the ramparts of Nature, which no mortal can pass through without rousing dread sentries never seen upon this side her wall. The powers they confer are secrets locked in my breast, to be lost in my grave; as the casket which lies on my breast shall not be transferred to the hands of another, till all the rest of my earthly possessions pass away with my last breath in life and my first in eternity.”
“These, then, the more powerful but also the more dangerous of the casket’s contents, shall not be explored by any science or subjected to any test. They are the keys to hidden doors in the barriers of Nature that no human can pass through without awakening terrifying sentinels never seen on this side of her wall. The powers they grant are secrets locked in my heart, to be lost with my grave; just as the casket that rests on my chest shall not be handed over to anyone else until all the rest of my earthly belongings fade away with my last breath in life and my first in eternity.”
“Sir Philip Derval,” said I, struggling against the appeals to fancy or to awe, made in words so strange, uttered in a tone of earnest conviction, and heard amidst the glare of the lightning, the howl of the winds, and the roll of the thunder,—“Sir Philip Derval, you accost me in a language which, but for my experience of the powers at your command, I should hear with the contempt that is due to the vaunts of a mountebank, or the pity we give to the morbid beliefs of his dupe. As it is, I decline the confidence with which you would favour me, subject to the conditions which it seems you would impose. My profession abandons to quacks all drugs which may not be analyzed, all secrets which may not be fearlessly told. I cannot visit you at Derval Court. I cannot trust myself, voluntarily, again in the power of a man, who has arts of which I may not examine the nature, by which he can impose on my imagination and steal away my reason.”
“Sir Philip Derval,” I said, fighting against the urge to be swayed by the strange words and the serious tone, spoken amid the flashes of lightning, howling winds, and rumbling thunder, “Sir Philip Derval, you're speaking to me in a way that, without knowing what powers you have, I would dismiss as the claims of a charlatan or pity the misguided beliefs of someone who follows him. As it stands, I refuse your offer of trust, given the conditions you seem to want to impose on me. My profession leaves to frauds all drugs that can’t be analyzed, all secrets that can’t be openly disclosed. I can’t visit you at Derval Court. I cannot allow myself to be in the presence of a man who has powers I can’t investigate—powers that can manipulate my imagination and cloud my judgment.”
“Reflect well before you decide,” said Sir Philip, with a solemnity that was stern. “If you refuse to be warned and to be armed by me, your reason and your imagination will alike be subjected to influences which I can only explain by telling you that there is truth in those immemorial legends which depose to the existence of magic.”
“Think carefully before you make your decision,” Sir Philip said seriously. “If you ignore my warning and refuse my guidance, both your reasoning and your imagination will be swayed by forces that I can only describe by saying that there is truth in those ancient legends that speak of magic.”
“Magic!”
“Awesome!”
“There is magic of two kinds,—the dark and evil, appertaining to witchcraft or necromancy; the pure and beneficent, which is but philosophy, applied to certain mysteries in Nature remote from the beaten tracks of science, but which deepened the wisdom of ancient sages, and can yet unriddle the myths of departed races.”
“There are two kinds of magic—dark and evil, related to witchcraft or necromancy; and pure and beneficial, which is simply philosophy applied to certain mysteries in nature that are far from the typical paths of science. This pure magic deepened the wisdom of ancient sages and can still decode the myths of long-gone cultures.”
“Sir Philip,” I said, with impatient and angry interruption, “if you think that a jargon of this kind be worthy a man of your acquirements and station, it is at least a waste of time to address it to me. I am led to conclude that you desire to make use of me for some purpose which I have a right to suppose honest and blameless, because all you know of me is, that I rendered to your relation services which can not lower my character in your eyes. If your object be, as you have intimated, to aid you in exposing and disabling man whose antecedents have been those of guilt, and who threatens with danger the society which receives him, you must give me proofs that are not reducible to magic; and you must prepossess me against the person you accuse, not by powders and fumes that disorder the brain, but by substantial statements, such as justify one man in condemning another. And, since you have thought fit to convince me that there are chemical means at your disposal, by which the imagination can be so affected as to accept, temporarily, illusions for realities, so I again demand, and now still more decidedly than before, that while you address yourself to my reason, whether to explain your object or to vindicate your charges against a man whom I have admitted to my acquaintance, you will divest yourself of all means and agencies to warp my judgment so illicit and fraudulent as those which you own yourself to possess. Let the casket, with all its contents, be transferred to my hands, and pledge me your word that, in giving that casket, you reserve to yourself no other means by which chemistry can be abused to those influences over physical organization, which ignorance or imposture may ascribe to—magic.”
“Sir Philip,” I said, interrupting with impatience and anger, “if you think this kind of talk is worthy of a man of your knowledge and position, then it’s simply a waste of time to direct it at me. I’ve come to believe that you want to use me for some purpose that I have a right to assume is honest and aboveboard, since all I’ve done for your relative was provide services that won’t tarnish my reputation in your eyes. If your aim is, as you’ve suggested, to help you expose and neutralize a man whose history is filled with wrongdoing, and who poses a threat to the society that has taken him in, then you need to provide evidence that isn’t mystical; you must convince me to distrust the person you’re accusing, not through powders and fumes that muddle the mind, but through solid arguments that justify one person condemning another. And since you’ve indicated that you have chemical methods that can affect the imagination to the point of temporarily accepting illusions as reality, I insist, even more firmly than before, that while you explain your intentions or defend your accusations against a man I’ve chosen to associate with, you must refrain from any means or tools that might distort my judgment in such an illicit and deceptive way that you’ve admitted you possess. Hand over the casket, along with everything inside it, and promise me that, in doing so, you won’t keep any other means to abuse chemistry in a way that ignorance or fraud could mislabel as—magic.”
“I accept no conditions for my confidence, though I think the better of you for attempting to make them. If I live, you will seek me yourself, and implore my aid. Meanwhile, listen to me, and—”
“I have no conditions for my trust, but I appreciate your effort to set them. If I survive, you will come to me on your own and ask for my help. In the meantime, hear me out, and—”
“No; I prefer the rain and the thunder to the whispers that steal to my ear in the dark from one of whom I have reason to beware.”
“No; I’d rather have the rain and thunder than the whispers that creep into my ear in the dark from someone I should be cautious of.”
So saying, I stepped forth, and at that moment the lightning flashed through the arch, and brought into full view the face of the man beside me. Seen by that glare, it was pale as the face of a corpse, but its expression was compassionate and serene.
So saying, I stepped forward, and at that moment, the lightning flashed through the arch, revealing the face of the man next to me. Illuminated by that glare, it was as pale as a corpse, but its expression was kind and calm.
I hesitated, for the expression of that hueless countenance touched me; it was not the face which inspires distrust or fear.
I hesitated, because the look on that pale face affected me; it wasn't a face that made me feel distrustful or scared.
“Come,” said I, gently; “grant my demand. The casket—”
“Come,” I said softly; “please give me what I’m asking for. The box—”
“It is no scruple of distrust that now makes that demand; it is a curiosity which in itself is a fearful tempter. Did you now possess what at this moment you desire, how bitterly you would repent!”
“It’s not a lack of trust that drives this demand; it’s a curiosity that is a dangerous seducer. If you had what you desire right now, you would regret it deeply!”
“Do you still refuse my demand?”
“Do you still refuse my request?”
“I refuse.”
"Not happening."
“If then you really need me, it is you who will repent.”
“If you really need me, you’ll be the one who regrets it.”
I passed from the arch into the open space. The rain had passed, the thunder was more distant. I looked back when I had gained the opposite side of the way, at the angle of a street which led to my own house. As I did so, again the skies lightened, but the flash was comparatively slight and evanescent; it did not penetrate the gloom of the arch; it did not bring the form of Sir Philip into view; but, just under the base of the outer buttress to the gateway, I descried the outline of a dark figure, cowering down, huddled up for shelter, the outline so indistinct, and so soon lost to sight as the flash faded, that I could not distinguish if it were man or brute. If it were some chance passer-by, who had sought refuge from the rain, and overheard any part of our strange talk, “the listener,” thought I with a half-smile, “must have been mightily perplexed.”
I stepped out from the arch into the open area. The rain had stopped, and the thunder was faint in the distance. I looked back after I reached the other side of the street leading to my house. As I did, the skies brightened again, but the flash was brief and faint; it didn’t cut through the darkness of the arch, nor did it reveal the figure of Sir Philip. Instead, just beneath the outer buttress of the gateway, I spotted the outline of a dark figure crouching down, seeking shelter
CHAPTER XXXV.
On reaching my own home, I found my servant sitting up for me with the information that my attendance was immediately required. The little boy whom Margrave’s carelessness had so injured, and for whose injury he had shown so little feeling, had been weakened by the confinement which the nature of the injury required, and for the last few days had been generally ailing. The father had come to my house a few minutes before I reached it, in great distress of mind, saying that his child had been seized with fever, and had become delirious. Hearing that I was at the mayor’s house, he had hurried thither in search of me.
On getting home, I found my servant waiting up for me, saying that I was urgently needed. The little boy whose injury was caused by Margrave’s negligence, and for which he showed very little concern, had been weakened by the bed rest required for his injury, and he had been feeling unwell for the past few days. The father had arrived at my house a few minutes before I got there, very distressed, saying that his child had come down with a fever and was now delirious. Upon hearing that I was at the mayor’s house, he had rushed there to find me.
I felt as if it were almost a relief to the troubled and haunting thoughts which tormented me, to be summoned to the exercise of a familiar knowledge. I hastened to the bedside of the little sufferer, and soon forgot all else in the anxious struggle for a human life. The struggle promised to be successful; the worst symptoms began to yield to remedies prompt and energetic, if simple. I remained at the house, rather to comfort and support the parents, than because my continued attendance was absolutely needed, till the night was well-nigh gone; and all cause of immediate danger having subsided, I then found myself once more in the streets. An atmosphere palely clear in the gray of dawn had succeeded to the thunder-clouds of the stormy night; the streetlamps, here and there, burned wan and still. I was walking slowly and wearily, so tired out that I was scarcely conscious of my own thoughts, when, in a narrow lane, my feet stopped almost mechanically before a human form stretched at full length in the centre of the road right in my path. The form was dark in the shadow thrown from the neighbouring houses. “Some poor drunkard,” thought I, and the humanity inseparable from my calling not allowing me to leave a fellow-creature thus exposed to the risk of being run over by the first drowsy wagoner who might pass along the thoroughfare, I stooped to rouse and to lift the form. What was my horror when my eyes met the rigid stare of a dead man’s. I started, looked again; it was the face of Sir Philip Derval! He was lying on his back, the countenance upturned, a dark stream oozing from the breast,—murdered by two ghastly wounds, murdered not long since, the blood was still warm. Stunned and terror-stricken, I stood bending over the body. Suddenly I was touched on the shoulder.
I felt almost relieved from the troubled and haunting thoughts that tormented me by being called to use my familiar knowledge. I rushed to the bedside of the little patient and soon forgot everything else in the anxious fight for a human life. The fight seemed likely to succeed; the worst symptoms started to respond to prompt and effective, if simple, treatments. I stayed at the house more to comfort and support the parents than out of necessity for my continued presence, until the night was almost over; and once all immediate danger had passed, I found myself back in the streets. The pale, clear dawn had replaced the stormy night’s thunderclouds; the streetlights flickered weakly here and there. I was walking slowly and tiredly, so exhausted that I was barely aware of my own thoughts when my feet, almost on autopilot, stopped in a narrow lane in front of a person lying stretched out in the middle of the road. The figure was dark in the shadows cast by the nearby houses. “Just some poor drunk,” I thought, and my instinct as a human, stemming from my profession, wouldn't let me leave someone exposed to the risk of being run over by the first drowsy wagon driver that might come along, so I bent down to wake and lift the person. What horror struck me when I met the rigid gaze of a dead man. I jumped back and looked again; it was the face of Sir Philip Derval! He lay on his back, his face turned up, a dark stream oozing from his chest—murdered by two ghastly wounds, not long ago, as the blood was still warm. Stunned and terrified, I stood over the body. Suddenly, I felt a touch on my shoulder.
“Hollo! what is this?” said a gruff voice.
“Hey! What’s going on?” said a gruff voice.
“Murder!” I answered in hollow accents, which sounded strangely to my own ear.
“Murder!” I said in a hollow voice, which sounded weird even to me.
“Murder! so it seems.” And the policeman who had thus accosted me lifted the body.
“Murder! It looks that way.” And the policeman who had approached me lifted the body.
“A gentleman by his dress. How did this happen? How did you come here?” and the policeman glanced suspiciously at me.
“A gentleman by his clothes. How did this happen? How did you end up here?” and the policeman looked at me with suspicion.
At this moment, however, there came up another policeman, in whom I recognized the young man whose sister I had attended and cured.
At that moment, another policeman approached, and I recognized the young man whose sister I had treated and healed.
“Dr. Fenwick,” said the last, lifting his hat respectfully, and at the sound of my name his fellow-policeman changed his manner and muttered an apology.
“Dr. Fenwick,” said the last, tipping his hat respectfully, and at the sound of my name, his fellow officer changed his demeanor and mumbled an apology.
I now collected myself sufficiently to state the name and rank of the murdered man. The policemen bore the body to their station, to which I accompanied them. I then returned to my own house, and had scarcely sunk on my bed when sleep came over me. But what a sleep! Never till then had I known how awfully distinct dreams can be. The phantasmagoria of the naturalist’s collection revived. Life again awoke in the serpent and the tiger, the scorpion moved, and the vulture flapped its wings. And there was Margrave, and there Sir Philip; but their position of power was reversed, and Margrave’s foot was on the breast of the dead man. Still I slept on till I was roused by the summons to attend on Mr. Vigors, the magistrate to whom the police had reported the murder.
I finally got a grip on myself enough to mention the name and status of the murdered man. The officers took the body back to their station, and I went with them. After that, I returned home and had hardly collapsed onto my bed when sleep hit me. But what a sleep it was! I'd never realized how incredibly vivid dreams could be before. The scenes from the naturalist’s collection came back to life. The serpent and the tiger were animated again, the scorpion moved, and the vulture flapped its wings. And there was Margrave, and there was Sir Philip; but their roles were flipped, and Margrave had his foot on the chest of the dead man. I kept sleeping until I was jolted awake by a call to meet Mr. Vigors, the magistrate who had been informed about the murder.
I dressed hastily and went forth. As I passed through the street, I found that the dismal news had already spread. I was accosted on my way to the magistrate by a hundred eager, tremulous, inquiring tongues.
I quickly got dressed and headed out. As I walked down the street, I realized that the sad news had already gotten around. On my way to the magistrate, I was approached by a hundred eager, nervous, questioning voices.
The scanty evidence I could impart was soon given.
The little evidence I could share was quickly provided.
My introduction to Sir Philip at the mayor’s house, our accidental meeting under the arch, my discovery of the corpse some hours afterwards on my return from my patient, my professional belief that the deed must have been done a very short time, perhaps but a few minutes, before I chanced upon its victim. But, in that case, how account for the long interval that had elapsed between the time in which I had left Sir Philip under the arch and the time in which the murder must have been committed? Sir Philip could not have been wandering through the streets all those hours. This doubt, however, was easily and speedily cleared up. A Mr. Jeeves, who was one of the principal solicitors in the town, stated that he had acted as Sir Philip’s legal agent and adviser ever since Sir Philip came of age, and was charged with the exclusive management of some valuable house-property which the deceased had possessed in L——; that when Sir Philip had arrived in the town late in the afternoon of the previous day, he had sent for Mr. Jeeves; informed him that he, Sir Philip, was engaged to be married; that he wished to have full and minute information as to the details of his house property (which had greatly increased in value since his absence from England), in connection with the settlements his marriage would render necessary; and that this information was also required by him in respect to a codicil he desired to add to his will.
My introduction to Sir Philip at the mayor’s house, our unexpected meeting under the arch, my discovery of the body a few hours later on my way back from my patient, my professional belief that the murder must have happened very recently, perhaps just minutes before I stumbled upon the victim. But if that’s the case, how do I explain the long time that passed between when I left Sir Philip under the arch and when the murder must have taken place? Sir Philip couldn’t have been wandering the streets all that time. However, this doubt was quickly resolved. A Mr. Jeeves, one of the leading solicitors in town, said he had acted as Sir Philip’s legal agent and adviser since Sir Philip came of age and was in charge of managing some valuable real estate the deceased owned in L—. He mentioned that when Sir Philip arrived in town late in the afternoon the day before, he had called for Mr. Jeeves; he informed him that he, Sir Philip, was engaged to be married; that he wanted detailed information about his property (which had greatly increased in value since he had been away from England) in connection with the arrangements his marriage would require; and that he needed this information for a codicil he wanted to add to his will.
He had, accordingly, requested Mr. Jeeves to have all the books and statements concerning the property ready for his inspection that night, when he would call, after leaving the ball which he had promised the mayor, whom he had accidentally met on entering the town, to attend. Sir Philip had also asked Mr. Jeeves to detain one of his clerks in his office, in order to serve, conjointly with Mr. Jeeves, as a witness to the codicil he desired to add to his will. Sir Philip had accordingly come to Mr. Jeeves’s house a little before midnight; had gone carefully through all the statements prepared for him, and had executed the fresh codicil to his testament, which testament he had in their previous interview given to Mr. Jeeves’s care, sealed up. Mr. Jeeves stated that Sir Philip, though a man of remarkable talents and great acquirements, was extremely eccentric, and of a very peremptory temper, and that the importance attached to a promptitude for which there seemed no pressing occasion did not surprise him in Sir Philip as it might have done in an ordinary client. Sir Philip said, indeed, that he should devote the next morning to the draft for his wedding settlements, according to the information of his property which he had acquired; and after a visit of very brief duration to Derval Court, should quit the neighbourhood and return to Paris, where his intended bride then was, and in which city it had been settled that the marriage ceremony should take place.
He had, therefore, asked Mr. Jeeves to have all the books and documents related to the property ready for him to review that night, after he left the ball he had promised to attend for the mayor, whom he had run into when he first arrived in town. Sir Philip had also requested Mr. Jeeves to keep one of his clerks in the office to serve, along with Mr. Jeeves, as a witness to the codicil he wanted to add to his will. Sir Philip had arrived at Mr. Jeeves’s house a little before midnight; he carefully went through all the prepared documents and signed the new codicil to his will, which he had handed over to Mr. Jeeves for safekeeping during their last meeting, sealed up. Mr. Jeeves noted that Sir Philip, while a man of considerable talent and education, was very eccentric and had a rather domineering personality, and that the urgency he placed on something that didn’t seem particularly urgent didn’t surprise him in Sir Philip as it might have in a normal client. Sir Philip mentioned that he planned to spend the next morning working on the draft for his wedding settlements, based on the property information he had gathered; after a very brief visit to Derval Court, he would leave the area and head back to Paris, where his soon-to-be wife was, and where it had been decided that the wedding would take place.
Mr. Jeeves had, however, observed to him, that if he were so soon to be married, it was better to postpone any revision of testamentary bequests, since after marriage he would have to make a new will altogether.
Mr. Jeeves had, however, pointed out to him that if he was going to get married so soon, it was better to hold off on revising any bequests, since after marriage he would need to create an entirely new will.
And Sir Philip had simply answered,—
And Sir Philip had just replied,—
“Life is uncertain; who can be sure of the morrow?”
“Life is unpredictable; who can be sure of tomorrow?”
Sir Philip’s visit to Mr. Jeeves’s house had lasted some hours, for the conversation between them had branched off from actual business to various topics. Mr. Jeeves had not noticed the hour when Sir Philip went; he could only say that as he attended him to the street-door, he observed, rather to his own surprise, that it was close upon daybreak.
Sir Philip's visit to Mr. Jeeves's house had gone on for several hours, as their conversation shifted from business to a range of topics. Mr. Jeeves didn't keep track of the time while Sir Philip was there; he could only note that as he walked him to the front door, he realized, somewhat to his surprise, that it was almost dawn.
Sir Philip’s body had been found not many yards distant from the hotel at which he had put up, and to which, therefore, he was evidently returning when he left Mr. Jeeves,—an old-fashioned hotel, which had been the principal one at L—— when Sir Philip left England, though now outrivalled by the new and more central establishment in which Margrave was domiciled.
Sir Philip’s body had been found just a short distance from the hotel where he was staying, and he was clearly heading back there after leaving Mr. Jeeves. It was an old-school hotel that had been the main one in L—— when Sir Philip left England, though it had since been surpassed by the newer, more centrally located place where Margrave was living.
The primary and natural supposition was that Sir Philip had been murdered for the sake of plunder; and this supposition was borne out by the fact to which his valet deposed, namely,—
The main and obvious assumption was that Sir Philip had been killed for the sake of theft; and this assumption was supported by the fact that his valet testified, namely,—
That Sir Philip had about his person, on going to the mayor’s house, a purse containing notes and sovereigns; and this purse was now missing.
That Sir Philip had a purse with cash and coins with him when he went to the mayor's house, and now this purse was gone.
The valet, who, though an Albanian, spoke English fluently, said that the purse had a gold clasp, on which Sir Philip’s crest and initials were engraved. Sir Philip’s watch was, however, not taken.
The valet, who, even though he was Albanian, spoke English fluently, said that the purse had a gold clasp featuring Sir Philip’s crest and initials. However, Sir Philip’s watch wasn’t taken.
And now, it was not without a quick beat of the heart that I heard the valet declare that a steel casket, to which Sir Philip attached extraordinary value, and always carried about with him, was also missing.
And now, I couldn't help but feel my heart race as I heard the valet say that a steel box, which Sir Philip valued greatly and always carried with him, was also missing.
The Albanian described this casket as of ancient Byzantine workmanship, opening with a peculiar spring, only known to Sir Philip, in whose possession it had been, so far as the servant knew, about three years: when, after a visit to Aleppo, in which the servant had not accompanied him, he had first observed it in his master’s hands. He was asked if this casket contained articles to account for the value Sir Philip set on it,—such as jewels, bank-notes, letters of credit, etc. The man replied that it might possibly do so; he had never been allowed the opportunity of examining its contents; but that he was certain the casket held medicines, for he had seen Sir Philip take from it some small phials, by which he had performed great cures in the East, and especially during a pestilence which had visited Damascus, just after Sir Philip had arrived at that city on quitting Aleppo. Almost every European traveller is supposed to be a physician; and Sir Philip was a man of great benevolence, and the servant firmly believed him also to be of great medical skill. After this statement, it was very naturally and generally conjectured that Sir Philip was an amateur disciple of homoeopathy, and that the casket contained the phials or globules in use among homoeopathists.
The Albanian described this box as an ancient Byzantine piece, which opened with a unique spring known only to Sir Philip, who had it for about three years, as far as the servant knew. The servant first saw it in his master's hands after Sir Philip returned from a visit to Aleppo, during which the servant didn’t accompany him. He was asked if this box held anything that justified the value Sir Philip placed on it, like jewels, banknotes, or letters of credit. The man replied that it might, but he never got the chance to check its contents. However, he was sure the box contained medicines because he had seen Sir Philip take out small vials from it, which he used to perform significant cures in the East, especially during a plague that hit Damascus right after Sir Philip arrived there from Aleppo. Almost every European traveler is thought to be a doctor, and Sir Philip was known for his kindness, and the servant strongly believed he was also highly skilled in medicine. Following this statement, it was widely assumed that Sir Philip was a casual follower of homeopathy and that the box contained the vials or globules used by homeopaths.
Whether or not Mr. Vigors enjoyed a vindictive triumph in making me feel the weight of his authority, or whether his temper was ruffled in the excitement of so grave a case, I cannot say, but his manner was stern and his tone discourteous in the questions which he addressed to me. Nor did the questions themselves seem very pertinent to the object of investigation.
Whether or not Mr. Vigors took pleasure in asserting his authority over me, or if he was simply agitated by the seriousness of the situation, I can't say, but he was stern and his tone was rude in the questions he asked me. The questions also didn't seem very relevant to the matter at hand.
“Pray, Dr. Fenwick,” said he, knitting his brows, and fixing his eyes on me rudely, “did Sir Philip Derval in his conversation with you mention the steel casket which it seems he carried about with him?”
“Please, Dr. Fenwick,” he said, furrowing his brow and staring at me bluntly, “did Sir Philip Derval mention the steel casket he apparently carried with him while talking to you?”
I felt my countenance change slightly as I answered, “Yes.”
I felt my expression change a bit as I replied, “Yes.”
“Did he tell you what it contained?”
“Did he tell you what was in it?”
“He said it contained secrets.”
“He said it had secrets.”
“Secrets of what nature,—medicinal or chemical? Secrets which a physician might be curious to learn and covetous to possess?”
“Secrets of nature—medicinal or chemical? Secrets that a doctor might be eager to discover and desire to own?”
This question seemed to me so offensively significant that it roused my indignation, and I answered haughtily, that “a physician of any degree of merited reputation did not much believe in, and still less covet, those secrets in his art which were the boast of quacks and pretenders.”
This question struck me as so outrageously important that it sparked my anger, and I replied proudly that “a physician with any level of deserved reputation doesn’t really believe in, and even less desires, those secrets in his field that are flaunted by frauds and pretenders.”
“My question need not offend you, Dr. Fenwick. I put it in another shape: Did Sir Philip Derval so boast of the secrets contained in his casket that a quack or pretender might deem such secrets of use to him?”
“My question shouldn't upset you, Dr. Fenwick. Let me rephrase it: Did Sir Philip Derval brag about the secrets in his casket so much that a fraud or impostor would think those secrets could benefit him?”
“Possibly he might, if he believed in such a boast.”
“Maybe he would, if he believed in such bragging.”
“Humph!—he might if he so believed. I have no more questions to put to you at present, Dr. Fenwick.”
“Humph!—he could if he believed that. I don’t have any more questions for you right now, Dr. Fenwick.”
Little of any importance in connection with the deceased or his murder transpired in the course of that day’s examination and inquiries.
Little of any significance regarding the deceased or his murder occurred during that day's examination and inquiries.
The next day, a gentleman distantly related to the young lady to whom Sir Philip was engaged, and who had been for some time in correspondence with the deceased, arrived at L——. He had been sent for at the suggestion of the Albanian servant, who said that Sir Philip had stayed a day at this gentleman’s house in London, on his way to L——, from Dover.
The next day, a man who was somewhat related to the young woman Sir Philip was engaged to, and who had been in contact with the deceased for a while, arrived at L——. He had been summoned on the recommendation of the Albanian servant, who mentioned that Sir Philip had spent a day at this man's house in London on his way to L—— from Dover.
The new comer, whose name was Danvers, gave a more touching pathos to the horror which the murder had excited. It seemed that the motives which had swayed Sir Philip in the choice of his betrothed were singularly pure and noble. The young lady’s father—an intimate college friend—had been visited by a sudden reverse of fortune, which had brought on a fever that proved mortal. He had died some years ago, leaving his only child penniless, and had bequeathed her to the care and guardianship of Sir Philip.
The newcomer, named Danvers, added a deeper emotional weight to the horror stirred by the murder. It appeared that the reasons behind Sir Philip’s choice of fiancée were unusually pure and noble. The young lady’s father—an old college friend—had experienced an unexpected downfall that led to a fatal fever. He had passed away several years ago, leaving his only daughter without money, and had entrusted her care and protection to Sir Philip.
The orphan received her education at a convent near Paris; and when Sir Philip, a few weeks since, arrived in that city from the East, he offered her his hand and fortune.
The orphan was educated at a convent near Paris; and when Sir Philip arrived in the city from the East a few weeks ago, he offered her his hand and his fortune.
“I know,” said Mr. Danvers, “from the conversation I held with him when he came to me in London, that he was induced to this offer by the conscientious desire to discharge the trust consigned to him by his old friend. Sir Philip was still of an age that could not permit him to take under his own roof a female ward of eighteen, without injury to her good name. He could only get over that difficulty by making the ward his wife. ‘She will be safer and happier with the man she will love and honour for her father’s sake,’ said the chivalrous gentleman, ‘than she will be under any other roof I could find for her.’”
“I know,” Mr. Danvers said, “from the conversation I had with him when he visited me in London, that he was motivated to make this offer by a sincere desire to fulfill the trust his old friend placed in him. Sir Philip was still at an age where he couldn’t take an eighteen-year-old female ward into his home without damaging her reputation. The only way he could avoid that issue was by marrying her. ‘She will be safer and happier with the man she loves and respects for her father’s sake,’ said the noble gentleman, ‘than she would be under any other roof I could provide for her.’”
And now there arrived another stranger to L——, sent for by Mr. Jeeves, the lawyer,—a stranger to L——, but not to me; my old Edinburgh acquaintance, Richard Strahan.
And now another stranger arrived in L——, called for by Mr. Jeeves, the lawyer—a stranger to L——, but not to me; my old friend from Edinburgh, Richard Strahan.
The will in Mr. Jeeves’s keeping, with its recent codicil, was opened and read. The will itself bore date about six years anterior to the testator’s tragic death: it was very short, and, with the exception of a few legacies, of which the most important was L10,000 to his ward, the whole of his property was left to Richard Strahan, on the condition that he took the name and arms of Derval within a year from the date of Sir Philip’s decease. The codicil, added to the will the night before his death, increased the legacy to the young lady from L10,000 to L30,000, and bequeathed an annuity of L100 a year to his Albanian servant. Accompanying the will, and within the same envelope, was a sealed letter, addressed to Richard Strahan, and dated at Paris two weeks before Sir Philip’s decease. Strahan brought that letter to me. It ran thus:—
The will that Mr. Jeeves was holding, along with its recent codicil, was opened and read. The will itself was dated about six years before the testator's tragic death: it was very brief, and aside from a few legacies, the most significant being £10,000 to his ward, the entire estate was left to Richard Strahan, on the condition that he adopted the name and arms of Derval within a year from the date of Sir Philip's death. The codicil, added to the will the night before his passing, increased the legacy to the young lady from £10,000 to £30,000, and granted an annual payment of £100 to his Albanian servant. Along with the will, and in the same envelope, was a sealed letter addressed to Richard Strahan, dated in Paris two weeks before Sir Philip's death. Strahan brought that letter to me. It read as follows:—
“Richard Strahan, I advise you to pull down the house called Derval Court, and to build another on a better site, the plans of which, to be modified according to your own taste and requirements, will be found among my papers. This is a recommendation, not a command. But I strictly enjoin you entirely to demolish the more ancient part, which was chiefly occupied by myself, and to destroy by fire, without perusal, all the books and manuscripts found in the safes in my study. I have appointed you my sole executor, as well as my heir, because I have no personal friends in whom I can confide as I trust I may do in the man I have never seen, simply because he will bear my name and represent my lineage. There will be found in my writing-desk, which always accompanies me in my travels, an autobiographical work, a record of my own life, comprising discoveries, or hints at discovery, in science, through means little cultivated in our age. You will not be surprised that before selecting you as my heir and executor, from a crowd of relations not more distant, I should have made inquiries in order to justify my selection. The result of those inquiries informs me that you have not yourself the peculiar knowledge nor the habits of mind that could enable you to judge of matters which demand the attainments and the practice of science; but that you are of an honest, affectionate nature, and will regard as sacred the last injunctions of a benefactor. I enjoin you, then, to submit the aforesaid manuscript memoir to some man on whose character for humanity and honour you can place confidential reliance, and who is accustomed to the study of the positive sciences, more especially chemistry, in connection with electricity and magnetism. My desire is that he shall edit and arrange this memoir for publication; and that, wherever he feels a conscientious doubt whether any discovery, or hint of discovery, therein contained would not prove more dangerous than useful to mankind, he shall consult with any other three men of science whose names are a guarantee for probity and knowledge, and according to the best of his judgment, after such consultation, suppress or publish the passage of which he has so doubted. I own the ambition which first directed me towards studies of a very unusual character, and which has encouraged me in their pursuit through many years of voluntary exile, in lands where they could be best facilitated or aided,—the ambition of leaving behind me the renown of a bold discoverer in those recesses of nature which philosophy has hitherto abandoned to superstition. But I feel, at the moment in which I trace these lines, a fear lest, in the absorbing interest of researches which tend to increase to a marvellous degree the power of man over all matter, animate or inanimate, I may have blunted my own moral perceptions; and that there may be much in the knowledge which I sought and acquired from the pure desire of investigating hidden truths, that could be more abused to purposes of tremendous evil than be likely to conduce to benignant good. And of this a mind disciplined to severe reasoning, and uninfluenced by the enthusiasm which has probably obscured my own judgment, should be the unprejudiced arbiter. Much as I have coveted and still do covet that fame which makes the memory of one man the common inheritance of all, I would infinitely rather that my name should pass away with my breath, than that I should transmit to my fellowmen any portion of a knowledge which the good might forbear to exercise and the bad might unscrupulously pervert. I bear about with me, wherever I wander, a certain steel casket. I received this casket, with its contents, from a man whose memory I hold in profound veneration. Should I live to find a person whom, after minute and intimate trial of his character, I should deem worthy of such confidence, it is my intention to communicate to him the secret how to prepare and how to use such of the powders and essences stored within that casket as I myself have ventured to employ. Others I have never tested, nor do I know how they could be resupplied if lost or wasted. But as the contents of this casket, in the hands of any one not duly instructed as to the mode of applying them, would either be useless, or conduce, through inadvertent and ignorant misapplication, to the most dangerous consequences; so, if I die without having found, and in writing named, such a confidant as I have described above, I command you immediately to empty all the powders and essences found therein into any running stream of water, which will at once harmlessly dissolve them. On no account must they be cast into fire! “This letter, Richard Strahan, will only come under your eyes in case the plans and the hopes which I have formed for my earthly future should be frustrated by the death on which I do not calculate, but against the chances of which this will and this letter provide. I am about to revisit England, in defiance of a warning that I shall be there subjected to some peril which I refused to have defined, because I am unwilling that any mean apprehension of personal danger should enfeeble my nerves in the discharge of a stern and solemn duty. If I overcome that peril, you will not be my heir; my testament will be remodelled; this letter will be recalled and destroyed. I shall form ties which promise me the happiness I have never hitherto found, though it is common to all men,—the affections of home, the caresses of children, among whom I may find one to whom hereafter I may bequeath, in my knowledge, a far nobler heritage than my lands. In that case, however, my first care would be to assure your own fortunes. And the sum which this codicil assures to my betrothed would be transferred to yourself on my wedding-day. Do you know why, never having seen you, I thus select you for preference to all my other kindred; why my heart, in writing thus, warms to your image? Richard Strahan, your only sister, many years older than yourself—you were then a child—was the object of my first love. We were to have been wedded, for her parents deceived me into the belief that she returned my affection. With a rare and nobler candour, she herself informed me that her heart was given to another, who possessed not my worldly gifts of wealth and station. In resigning my claims to her hand, I succeeded in propitiating her parents to her own choice. I obtained for her husband the living which he held, and I settled on your sister the dower which, at her death, passed to you as the brother to whom she had shown a mother’s love, and the interest of which has secured you a modest independence. “If these lines ever reach you, recognize my title to reverential obedience to commands which may seem to you wild, perhaps irrational; and repay, as if a debt due from your own lost sister, the affection I have borne to you for her sake.”
“Richard Strahan, I suggest you tear down the house called Derval Court and build a new one in a better location. You’ll find plans among my papers that can be adjusted to fit your style and needs. This is a recommendation, not a command. However, I firmly instruct you to completely demolish the older part, where I spent a lot of my time, and to burn without reading all the books and manuscripts found in the safes in my study. I have made you my sole executor and heir because I have no personal friends I can trust as I hope to trust a man I have never seen, simply because you bear my name and represent my lineage. You will find in my writing desk, which always travels with me, an autobiographical work detailing my life and my discoveries, or hints at discoveries, in science, through methods that are not widely pursued in our time. You shouldn’t be surprised that before choosing you as my heir and executor over other relatives who are just as distant, I sought to justify my choice. Those inquiries revealed to me that you don’t have the specific knowledge or thought processes that would enable you to understand matters requiring scientific skills and practice; however, you have an honest, caring nature, and you will hold as sacred the final wishes of a benefactor. Therefore, I urge you to submit the aforementioned manuscript memoir to someone whose character for humanity and honor you can trust completely, and who is familiar with the study of the positive sciences, especially chemistry, in relation to electricity and magnetism. I want him to edit and prepare this memoir for publication, and that whenever he feels uncertain whether any discovery or hint of discovery contained within could be more harmful than beneficial to humanity, he should consult with any three reputable scientists whose names assure integrity and knowledge, and based on the best of his judgment after that consultation, decide whether to suppress or publish the questionable passage. I have the ambition that first led me to study very unusual subjects and has fueled my pursuit through many years of voluntary exile in places where I could best explore or support my work—the ambition to be remembered as a daring discoverer in areas of nature that philosophy has left to superstition. But I feel, as I write this, a fear that, in the overwhelming interest of research which greatly enhances man’s power over all matter, both living and non-living, I may have dulled my moral sensitivity; and that much of the knowledge I've sought and gained, purely out of a desire to explore hidden truths, could be exploited for tremendous evil rather than contribute to good. And that should be judged by a mind trained in rigorous reasoning, unaffected by the enthusiasm that has likely clouded my own judgment. As much as I have coveted and still do covet the fame that makes one man's memory the shared legacy of all, I would much rather my name faded away with my last breath than pass on any part of knowledge that the good might choose to avoid and the wicked might exploit without scruples. I carry with me, wherever I roam, a certain steel casket. I received this casket, along with its contents, from a man whose memory I deeply respect. If I live to find someone who, after careful and close examination of their character, I believe worthy of such trust, I intend to share with them the secret of how to prepare and use the powders and essences stored within that casket that I have dared to use. Others I have never tested, nor do I know how to replenish if lost or wasted. However, since the contents of this casket, in the hands of anyone not properly instructed on how to apply them, would either be useless or lead to potentially dangerous outcomes through careless and ignorant misuse; if I die without having found, and in writing named, such a confidant as I described, I command you to immediately dump all the powders and essences into any flowing body of water, which will harmlessly dissolve them. Under no circumstances should they be thrown into fire! “This letter, Richard Strahan, will only be read by you if the plans and hopes I have for my earthly future are thwarted by an unforeseen death, which I don’t anticipate, but against which this will and this letter are precautionary. I am about to return to England, despite a warning that I will face some danger there, the details of which I refused to learn, as I do not wish any petty fear of personal danger to weaken my resolve in fulfilling a grave and serious duty. If I overcome that danger, you will not inherit my estate; my will will be revised; this letter will be retracted and destroyed. I will form bonds that promise the happiness I’ve never experienced before, though it is common for all people—the warmth of home, the affection of children, among whom I might find one to whom I can bequeath a far greater legacy than my lands. In that case, however, my first priority would be to ensure your own well-being. The amount outlined in this codicil for my betrothed will be transferred to you on my wedding day. Do you know why, even though I have never met you, I choose you over all my other relatives; why my heart, while writing this, is drawn to your image? Richard Strahan, your only sister, many years older than you—you were just a child then—was the focus of my first love. We were supposed to marry, but her parents misled me into believing she returned my feelings. With rare and noble honesty, she told me that her heart belonged to another man who did not have my wealth and status. By letting go of my claim to her hand, I managed to persuade her parents to support her choice. I arranged for her husband’s position, and I provided your sister with a dowry that, upon her death, passed to you, her brother, who she loved like a son, and the interest from which has granted you a modest independence. “If these words ever reach you, see my request for respect and obedience to orders that may seem wild or even irrational to you; and repay, as if repaying a debt owed to your lost sister, the affection I have carried for you on her behalf.”
While I read this long and strange letter, Strahan sat by my side, covering his face with his hands, and weeping with honest tears for the man whose death had made him powerful and rich.
While I read this long and odd letter, Strahan sat beside me, covering his face with his hands and crying genuine tears for the man whose death had made him powerful and wealthy.
“You will undertake the trust ordained to me in this letter,” said he, struggling to compose himself. “You will read and edit this memoir; you are the very man he himself would have selected. Of your honour and humanity there can be no doubt, and you have studied with success the sciences which he specifies as requisite for the discharge of the task he commands.”
“You will take on the responsibility given to me in this letter,” he said, trying to steady himself. “You will read and revise this memoir; you are exactly the person he would have chosen. There’s no doubt about your integrity and kindness, and you have successfully studied the subjects he mentions as essential for carrying out the task he assigns.”
At this request, though I could not be wholly unprepared for it, my first impulse was that of a vague terror. It seemed to me as if I were becoming more and more entangled in a mysterious and fatal web. But this impulse soon faded in the eager yearnings of an ardent and irresistible curiosity.
At this request, even though I couldn't be completely unprepared for it, my first reaction was a vague sense of fear. It felt like I was getting more and more caught up in a mysterious and dangerous situation. But that feeling quickly vanished, replaced by a strong and irresistible curiosity.
I promised to read the manuscript, and in order that I might fully imbue my mind with the object and wish of the deceased, I asked leave to make a copy of the letter I had just read. To this Strahan readily assented, and that copy I have transcribed in the preceding pages.
I promised to read the manuscript, and to fully understand the intent and wishes of the deceased, I asked for permission to make a copy of the letter I had just read. Strahan agreed without hesitation, and I have transcribed that copy in the previous pages.
I asked Strahan if he had yet found the manuscript. He said, “No, he had not yet had the heart to inspect the papers left by the deceased. He would now do so. He should go in a day or two to Derval Court, and reside there till the murderer was discovered, as doubtless he soon must be through the vigilance of the police. Not till that discovery was made should Sir Philip’s remains, though already placed in their coffin, be consigned to the family vault.”
I asked Strahan if he had found the manuscript yet. He said, “No, he hadn’t had the heart to look through the papers left by the deceased. He will do that now. He will go to Derval Court in a day or two and stay there until they find the murderer, who I’m sure will be caught soon thanks to the police's vigilance. Sir Philip’s remains, even though they’re already in their coffin, shouldn’t be buried in the family vault until that discovery is made.”
Strahan seemed to have some superstitious notion that the murderer might be more secure from justice if his victim were thrust unavenged into the tomb.
Strahan appeared to hold some superstitious belief that the killer might avoid justice if his victim was buried without any revenge.
CHAPTER XXXVI.
The belief prevalent in the town ascribed the murder of Sir Philip to the violence of some vulgar robber, probably not an inhabitant of L——. Mr. Vigors did not favour that belief. He intimated an opinion, which seemed extravagant and groundless, that Sir Philip had been murdered, for the sake not of the missing purse, but of the missing casket. It was currently believed that the solemn magistrate had consulted one of his pretended clairvoyants, and that this impostor had gulled him with assurances, to which he attached a credit that perverted into egregiously absurd directions his characteristic activity and zeal.
The common belief in the town was that Sir Philip was killed by a violent thief, likely not from L——. Mr. Vigors didn’t agree with that idea. He suggested a view that seemed far-fetched and unfounded—that Sir Philip was murdered not for the missing purse, but for the missing casket. It was widely thought that the serious magistrate had consulted one of his so-called clairvoyants, and that this fraud had deceived him with claims that led him to distort his usual diligence and enthusiasm into ridiculously absurd actions.
Be that as it may, the coroner’s inquest closed without casting any light on so mysterious a tragedy.
Be that as it may, the coroner’s inquest closed without shedding any light on such a mysterious tragedy.
What were my own conjectures I scarcely dared to admit,—I certainly could not venture to utter them; but my suspicions centred upon Margrave. That for some reason or other he had cause to dread Sir Philip’s presence in L—— was clear, even to my reason. And how could my reason reject all the influences which had been brought to bear on my imagination, whether by the scene in the museum or my conversation with the deceased? But it was impossible to act on such suspicions,—impossible even to confide them. Could I have told to any man the effect produced on me in the museum, he would have considered me a liar or a madman. And in Sir Philip’s accusations against Margrave, there was nothing tangible,—nothing that could bear repetition. Those accusations, if analyzed, vanished into air. What did they imply?—that Margrave was a magician, a monstrous prodigy, a creature exceptional to the ordinary conditions of humanity. Would the most reckless of mortals have ventured to bring against the worst of characters such a charge, on the authority of a deceased witness, and to found on evidence so fantastic the awful accusation of murder? But of all men, certainly I—a sober, practical physician—was the last whom the public could excuse for such incredible implications; and certainly, of all men, the last against whom any suspicion of heinous crime would be readily entertained was that joyous youth in whose sunny aspect life and conscience alike seemed to keep careless holiday. But I could not overcome, nor did I attempt to reason against, the horror akin to detestation, that had succeeded to the fascinating attraction by which Margrave had before conciliated a liking founded rather on admiration than esteem.
What were my own thoughts, I barely dared to admit—I definitely couldn't say them out loud; but I was suspicious of Margrave. It was obvious to me that he was afraid of Sir Philip being in L—— for some reason. How could I ignore all the influences that had affected my imagination, whether from the scene in the museum or my talk with the deceased? But it was impossible to act on those suspicions—impossible even to share them. If I had tried to explain the impact the museum experience had on me to anyone, they would have thought I was lying or crazy. And in Sir Philip’s claims against Margrave, there was nothing concrete—nothing that could stand up to scrutiny. Those accusations, if examined, would disappear into thin air. What did they suggest?—that Margrave was a magician, an incredible anomaly, a being outside the usual limits of humanity. Would any bold person dare to accuse the worst character of such a thing based solely on the word of a dead witness, and build the serious charge of murder on such far-fetched evidence? But above all, I—a reasonable, down-to-earth doctor—was the last person the public would excuse for such unbelievable claims; and certainly, the last person against whom anyone would quickly suspect serious crime was that cheerful young man who seemed to enjoy life and conscience without a care. Yet, I couldn't shake off, nor did I try to rationalize, the horror similar to disgust that had replaced the fascinating appeal Margrave had previously held, which was based more on admiration than true respect.
In order to avoid his visits I kept away from the study in which I had habitually spent my mornings, and to which he had been accustomed to so ready an access; and if he called at the front door, I directed my servant to tell him that I was either from home or engaged. He did attempt for the first few days to visit me as before, but when my intention to shun him became thus manifest, desisted naturally enough, as any other man so pointedly repelled would have done.
To avoid his visits, I stayed away from the study where I usually spent my mornings, a place he had always accessed easily. If he knocked on the front door, I told my servant to say I was either out or busy. He did try to visit me as usual for the first few days, but when it became clear I was trying to avoid him, he naturally stopped, just like any other man would have if he were turned away so bluntly.
I abstained from all those houses in which I was likely to meet him, and went my professional round of visits in a close carriage, so that I might not be accosted by him in his walks.
I stayed away from all the places where I might run into him and did my professional visits in a private carriage, so I wouldn’t be approached by him while he was out walking.
One morning, a very few days after Strahan had shown me Sir Philip Derval’s letter, I received a note from my old college acquaintance, stating that he was going to Derval Court that afternoon; that he should take with him the memoir which he had found, and begging me to visit him at his new home the next day, and commence my inspection of the manuscript. I consented eagerly.
One morning, a couple of days after Strahan had shown me Sir Philip Derval’s letter, I got a note from my old college friend. He said he was heading to Derval Court that afternoon, that he would take the memoir he had found with him, and asked me to come visit him at his new place the next day to start looking at the manuscript. I agreed eagerly.
That morning, on going my round, my carriage passed by another drawn up to the pavement, and I recognized the figure of Margrave standing beside the vehicle, and talking to some one seated within it. I looked back, as my own carriage whirled rapidly by, and saw with uneasiness and alarm that it was Richard Strahan to whom Margrave was thus familiarly addressing himself. How had the two made acquaintance?
That morning, while I was making my rounds, my carriage passed by another one parked at the curb, and I recognized Margrave standing next to the vehicle, talking to someone inside it. I glanced back as my carriage sped by and felt uneasy and alarmed to see that it was Richard Strahan with whom Margrave was speaking so casually. How had they gotten to know each other?
Was it not an outrage on Sir Philip Derval’s memory, that the heir he had selected should be thus apparently intimate with the man whom he had so sternly denounced? I became still more impatient to read the memoir: in all probability it would give such explanations with respect to Margrave’s antecedents, as, if not sufficing to criminate him of legal offences, would at least effectually terminate any acquaintance between Sir Philip’s successor and himself.
Wasn't it a disgrace to Sir Philip Derval's memory that the heir he had chosen seemed so close with the man he had harshly criticized? I became even more eager to read the memoir: it would probably provide explanations about Margrave’s past that, while maybe not enough to legally implicate him, would definitely end any relationship between Sir Philip’s successor and him.
All my thoughts were, however, diverted to channels of far deeper interest even than those in which my mind had of late been so tumultuously whirled along, when, on returning home, I found a note from Mrs. Ashleigh. She and Lilian had just come back to L——, sooner than she had led me to anticipate. Lilian had not seemed quite well the last day or two, and had been anxious to return.
All my thoughts, however, shifted to much deeper concerns than those that had recently consumed me, when I got home and found a note from Mrs. Ashleigh. She and Lilian had just returned to L——, earlier than I had expected. Lilian hadn't seemed quite well the past day or two and had been eager to get back.
CHAPTER XXXVII.
Let me recall it—softly,—softly! Let me recall that evening spent with her!—that evening, the last before darkness rose between us like a solid wall.
Let me remember it—gently,—gently! Let me think back to that evening spent with her!—that evening, the last before darkness came between us like a sturdy wall.
It was evening, at the close of summer. The sun had set, the twilight was lingering still. We were in the old monastic garden,—garden so quiet, so cool, so fragrant. She was seated on a bench under the one great cedar-tree that rose sombre in the midst of the grassy lawn with its little paradise of flowers. I had thrown myself on the sward at her feet; her hand so confidingly lay in the clasp of mine. I see her still,—how young, how fair, how innocent!
It was evening, at the end of summer. The sun had gone down, and the twilight was still hanging around. We were in the old monastery garden—so quiet, so cool, so fragrant. She was sitting on a bench under the big cedar tree that stood darkly in the middle of the grassy lawn with its little paradise of flowers. I had fallen onto the grass at her feet; her hand rested trustingly in mine. I can still picture her—so young, so beautiful, so innocent!
Strange, strange! So inexpressibly English; so thoroughly the creature of our sober, homely life! The pretty delicate white robe that I touch so timorously, and the ribbon-knots of blue that so well become the soft colour of the fair cheek, the wavy silk of the brown hair! She is murmuring low her answer to my trembling question.
Strange, strange! So incredibly English; so completely a part of our simple, everyday life! The pretty delicate white dress that I touch so cautiously, and the blue ribbon knots that match so nicely with the soft hue of her fair face, the wavy silk of her brown hair! She's softly murmuring her response to my nervous question.
“As well as when last we parted? Do you love me as well still?”
“As much as when we last said goodbye? Do you still love me the same?”
“There is no ‘still’ written here,” said she, softly pressing her hand to her heart. “Yesterday is as to-morrow in the Forever.”
“There is no ‘still’ written here,” she said, softly pressing her hand to her heart. “Yesterday is the same as tomorrow in the Forever.”
“Ah, Lilian! if I could reply to you in words as akin to poetry as your own!”
“Ah, Lilian! If only I could respond to you in words that are as poetic as yours!”
“Fie! you who affect not to care for poetry!”
“Shame on you! You who pretend not to care about poetry!”
“That was before you went away; before I missed you from my eyes, from my life; before I was quite conscious how precious you were to me, more precious than common words can tell! Yes, there is one period in love when all men are poets, however the penury of their language may belie the luxuriance of their fancies. What would become of me if you ceased to love me?”
“That was before you left; before I felt your absence in my sight, in my life; before I fully realized how important you were to me, more valuable than words can express! Yes, there’s a time in love when everyone becomes a poet, no matter how limited their words might be compared to the richness of their thoughts. What would happen to me if you stopped loving me?”
“Or of me, if you could cease to love?”
“Or about me, if you could stop loving?”
“And somehow it seems to me this evening as if my heart drew nearer to you,—nearer as if for shelter.”
“And somehow it feels to me this evening like my heart is getting closer to you—closer as if seeking shelter.”
“It is sympathy,” said she, with tremulous eagerness,—“that sort of mysterious sympathy which I have often heard you deny or deride; for I, too, feel drawn nearer to you, as if there were a storm at hand. I was oppressed by an indescribable terror in returning home, and the moment I saw you there came a sense of protection.”
“It’s sympathy,” she said, her voice shaking with eagerness, “that kind of mysterious sympathy you’ve often denied or mocked; because I, too, feel drawn to you, as if a storm is coming. I was overwhelmed by an indescribable fear on my way home, and the moment I saw you, I felt a sense of safety.”
Her head sank on my shoulder: we were silent some moments; then we both rose by the same involuntary impulse, and round her slight form I twined my strong arm of man. And now we are winding slow under the lilacs and acacias that belt the lawn. Lilian has not yet heard of the murder, which forms the one topic of the town, for all tales of violence and blood affected her as they affect a fearful child. Mrs. Ashleigh, therefore, had judiciously concealed from her the letters and the journals by which the dismal news had been carried to herself. I need scarcely say that the grim subject was not broached by me. In fact, my own mind escaped from the events which had of late so perplexed and tormented it; the tranquillity of the scene, the bliss of Lilian’s presence, had begun to chase away even that melancholy foreboding which had overshadowed me in the first moments of our reunion. So we came gradually to converse of the future,—of the day, not far distant, when we two should be as one. We planned our bridal excursion. We would visit the scenes endeared to her by song, to me by childhood,—the banks and waves of my native Windermere,—our one brief holiday before life returned to labour, and hearts now so disquieted by hope and joy settled down to the calm serenity of home.
Her head rested on my shoulder; we were quiet for a few moments. Then, we both stood up at the same unthinking impulse, and I wrapped my strong arm around her slender form. Now we were slowly walking beneath the lilacs and acacias that surround the lawn. Lilian hasn't heard about the murder, which is the main topic in town, because stories of violence and blood upset her just like they would a scared child. Mrs. Ashleigh wisely kept the letters and journals with the grim news from her. I don't need to mention that I didn't bring up the dark topic. In fact, my own mind had moved away from the recent events that had confused and troubled me; the peace of the scene and the joy of Lilian's presence started to lift even that sad feeling that had clouded me in the early moments of our reunion. So we gradually began to talk about the future—about the day, not too far off, when we would be one. We planned our wedding trip. We would visit the places that were special to her from songs and to me from childhood—the shores and waves of my hometown, Windermere—our one brief vacation before life returned to hard work, and our hearts, which are now so restless with hope and joy, settled into the calm comfort of home.
As we thus talked, the moon, nearly rounded to her full, rose amidst skies without a cloud. We paused to gaze on her solemn haunting beauty, as where are the lovers who have not paused to gaze? We were then on the terrace walk, which commanded a view of the town below. Before us was a parapet wall, low on the garden side, but inaccessible on the outer side, forming part of a straggling irregular street that made one of the boundaries dividing Abbey Hill from Low Town. The lamps of the thoroughfares, in many a line and row beneath us, stretched far away, obscured, here and there, by intervening roofs and tall church towers. The hum of the city came to our ears, low and mellowed into a lulling sound. It was not displeasing to be reminded that there was a world without, as close and closer we drew each to each,—worlds to one another! Suddenly there carolled forth the song of a human voice,—a wild, irregular, half-savage melody, foreign, uncomprehended words,—air and words not new to me. I recognized the voice and chant of Margrave. I started, and uttered an angry exclamation.
As we talked, the nearly full moon rose into a cloudless sky. We paused to admire her haunting beauty, just like any couple in love would. We were on the terrace, which overlooked the town below. In front of us, there was a low parapet wall on the garden side, but it was inaccessible from the outer side, forming part of a winding street that separated Abbey Hill from Low Town. The streetlights below, arranged in lines and rows, stretched far away, occasionally obscured by rooftops and tall church towers. The soft hum of the city reached our ears, creating a soothing sound. It was comforting to be reminded that there was a world outside as we got closer to each other—two worlds coming together. Suddenly, a human voice broke the silence—a wild, irregular, half-civilized melody with foreign, incomprehensible words—music and lyrics I recognized. It was Margrave’s voice. I jumped and let out an angry exclamation.
“Hush!” whispered Lilian, and I felt her frame shiver within my encircling arm. “Hush! listen! Yes; I have heard that voice before—last night—”
“Hush!” whispered Lilian, and I felt her body tremble within my arm. “Hush! Listen! Yes; I’ve heard that voice before—last night—”
“Last night! you were not here; you were more than a hundred miles away.”
“Last night! You weren't here; you were over a hundred miles away.”
“I heard it in a dream! Hush, hush!”
“I heard it in a dream! Shh, shh!”
The song rose louder; impossible to describe its effect, in the midst of the tranquil night, chiming over the serried rooftops, and under the solitary moon. It was not like the artful song of man, for it was defective in the methodical harmony of tune; it was not like the song of the wild-bird, for it had no monotony in its sweetness: it was wandering and various as the sounds from an AEolian harp. But it affected the senses to a powerful degree, as in remote lands and in vast solitudes I have since found the note of the mocking-bird, suddenly heard, affects the listener half with delight, half with awe, as if some demon creature of the desert were mimicking man for its own merriment. The chant now had changed into an air of defying glee, of menacing exultation; it might have been the triumphant war-song of some antique barbarian race. The note was sinister; a shadow passed through me, and Lilian had closed her eyes, and was sighing heavily; then with a rapid change, sweet as the coo with which an Arab mother lulls her babe to sleep, the melody died away. “There, there, look,” murmured Lilian, moving from me, “the same I saw last night in sleep; the same I saw in the space above, on the evening I first knew you!”
The song got louder; it’s hard to describe how it felt in the calm night, echoing over the packed rooftops and beneath the lonely moon. It wasn’t like a carefully crafted human song, lacking the structured harmony of melody; it wasn’t like a wild bird's song, since it had no dullness in its sweetness: it was free-flowing and varied, like sounds from an Aeolian harp. But it strongly impacted the senses, similar to how, in distant lands and great emptiness, I've found that the suddenly heard note of a mockingbird affects the listener with both joy and a bit of fear, as if some desert spirit is playfully imitating humans. The chant had changed into a tune of joyful defiance, of threatening celebration; it could have been the victorious battle song of an ancient barbarian tribe. The note had a dark quality; a shadow swept over me, and Lilian had closed her eyes, sighing heavily; then, in an instant, sweet as the coo of an Arab mother soothing her baby to sleep, the melody faded away. “Look, look,” whispered Lilian, moving away from me, “it’s the same thing I saw last night in my dreams; the same thing I saw above that evening when I first met you!”
Her eyes were fixed, her hand raised; my look followed hers, and rested on the face and form of Margrave. The moon shone full upon him, so full as if concentrating all its light upon his image. The place on which he stood (a balcony to the upper story of a house about fifty yards distant) was considerably above the level of the terrace from which we gazed on him. His arms were folded on his breast, and he appeared to be looking straight towards us. Even at that distance, the lustrous youth of his countenance appeared to me terribly distinct, and the light of his wondrous eye seemed to rest upon us in one lengthened, steady ray through the limpid moonshine. Involuntarily I seized Lilian’s hand, and drew her away almost by force, for she was unwilling to move, and as I led her back, she turned her head to look round; I, too, turned in jealous rage! I breathed more freely. Margrave had disappeared!
Her eyes were fixed, her hand raised; I followed her gaze and focused on Margrave's face and figure. The moon shone brightly on him, almost as if it was pouring all its light onto his image. He stood on a balcony of a house about fifty yards away, significantly above the level of the terrace from which we were watching him. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he seemed to be looking directly at us. Even from that distance, the youthful glow of his face felt sharply vivid, and the light from his striking eyes seemed to shine on us in a long, steady beam through the clear moonlight. Without thinking, I grabbed Lilian's hand and pulled her away almost against her will, as she was reluctant to move. As I led her back, she turned her head to look back; I, too, turned in a surge of jealousy! I breathed a sigh of relief. Margrave had vanished!
“How came he there? It is not his hotel. Whose house is it?” I said aloud, though speaking to myself.
“How did he get here? This isn't his hotel. Whose house is this?” I said out loud, though I was just talking to myself.
Lilian remained silent, her eyes fixed upon the ground as if in deep revery. I took her hand; it did not return my pressure. I felt cut to the heart when she drew coldly from me that hand, till then so frankly cordial. I stopped short: “Lilian, what is this? you are chilled towards me. Can the mere sound of that man’s voice, the mere glimpse of that man’s face, have—” I paused; I did not dare to complete my question.
Lilian stayed quiet, her gaze focused on the ground as if lost in thought. I took her hand, but she didn’t squeeze back. I felt heartbroken when she pulled her hand away from me, a gesture that had been so warm until now. I stopped abruptly: “Lilian, what’s going on? You seem distant with me. Could it really be just the sound of that guy’s voice, just the sight of his face, that—” I hesitated; I couldn’t bring myself to finish my question.
Lilian lifted her eyes to mine, and I saw at once in those eyes a change. Their look was cold; not haughty, but abstracted. “I do not understand you,” she said, in a weary, listless accent. “It is growing late; I must go in.”
Lilian looked up at me, and I instantly noticed a change in her eyes. They seemed cold; not arrogant, but distant. “I don’t get you,” she said, in a tired, indifferent tone. “It's getting late; I have to go inside.”
So we walked on moodily, no longer arm in arm, nor hand in hand. Then it occurred to me that, the next day, Lilian would be in that narrow world of society; that there she could scarcely fail to hear of Margrave, to meet, to know him. Jealousy seized me with all its imaginary terrors, and amidst that jealousy, a nobler, purer apprehension for herself. Had I been Lilian’s brother instead of her betrothed, I should not have trembled less to foresee the shadow of Margrave’s mysterious influence passing over a mind so predisposed to the charm which Mystery itself has for those whose thoughts fuse their outlines in fancies, whose world melts away into Dreamland. Therefore I spoke.
So we walked on in a gloomy silence, no longer linked arm in arm or holding hands. Then it hit me that the next day, Lilian would be stepping into that narrow social world; there, she wouldn't be able to avoid hearing about Margrave, meeting him, or getting to know him. Jealousy gripped me with all its imagined fears, but beneath that jealousy was a deeper, purer concern for her well-being. If I had been Lilian’s brother instead of her fiancé, I wouldn’t have felt any less anxious at the thought of Margrave’s mysterious influence looming over a mind so eager to be enchanted by the allure of the unknown—especially for those whose thoughts blur into fantasies, whose reality fades into Daydreams. That’s why I spoke up.
“Lilian, at the risk of offending you-alas! I have never done so before this night—I must address to you a prayer which I implore you not to regard as the dictate of a suspicion unworthy you and myself. The person whom you have just heard and seen is, at present, much courted in the circles of this town. I entreat you not to permit any one to introduce him to you. I entreat you not to know him. I cannot tell you all my reasons for this petition; enough that I pledge you my honour that those reasons are grave. Trust, then, in my truth, as I trust in yours. Be assured that I stretch not the rights which your heart has bestowed upon mine in the promise I ask, as I shall be freed from all fear by a promise which I know will be sacred when once it is given.”
“Lilian, I hope this doesn't offend you—it's not something I've done before tonight—but I need to make a request that I sincerely hope you don’t take as a sign of my mistrust in you or myself. The person you just heard and saw is currently quite popular in our town's social circles. I urge you not to let anyone introduce him to you. I implore you not to get to know him. I can't share all the reasons behind this request, but I promise you that they are serious. So, please trust my honesty, just as I trust yours. Know that I'm not overstepping the boundaries your heart has granted mine with this request. I will feel completely at ease with a promise that I know will be kept once it’s made.”
“What promise?” asked Lilian, absently, as if she had not heard my words.
“What promise?” Lilian asked, distracted, as if she hadn’t heard what I said.
“What promise? Why, to refuse all acquaintance with that man; his name is Margrave. Promise me, dearest, promise me.”
“What promise? To completely avoid any contact with that man; his name is Margrave. Promise me, my dear, promise me.”
“Why is your voice so changed?” said Lilian. “Its tone jars on my ear,” she added, with a peevishness so unlike her, that it startled me more than it offended; and without a word further, she quickened her pace, and entered the house.
“Why does your voice sound so different?” Lilian asked. “It doesn’t sit right with me,” she added, her irritation so out of character that it surprised me more than it annoyed me; and without saying anything else, she sped up and went inside the house.
For the rest of the evening we were both taciturn and distant towards each other. In vain Mrs. Ashleigh kindly sought to break down our mutual reserve. I felt that I had the right to be resentful, and I clung to that right the more because Lilian made no attempt at reconciliation. This, too, was wholly unlike herself, for her temper was ordinarily sweet,—sweet to the extreme of meekness; saddened if the slightest misunderstanding between us had ever vexed me, and yearning to ask forgiveness if a look or a word had pained me. I was in hopes that, before I went away, peace between us would be restored. But long ere her usual hour for retiring to rest, she rose abruptly, and, complaining of fatigue and headache, wished me “good-night,” and avoided the hand I sorrowfully held out to her as I opened the door.
For the rest of the evening, we were both quiet and distant with each other. Mrs. Ashleigh kindly tried to break down our awkwardness, but it was pointless. I felt justified in being upset, especially since Lilian didn’t try to make things right. This was completely out of character for her, as she usually had a sweet disposition—so sweet that she was almost submissive; she would feel sad if even the slightest misunderstanding upset me and would long to apologize if a look or a comment hurt my feelings. I had hoped that before I left, we would reconcile. But long before her usual bedtime, she suddenly stood up, said she was tired and had a headache, wished me “good-night,” and avoided the hand I sadly extended to her as I opened the door.
“You must have been very unkind to poor Lilian,” said Mrs. Ashleigh, between jest and earnest, “for I never saw her so cross to you before. And the first day of her return, too!”
“You must have been really unkind to poor Lilian,” said Mrs. Ashleigh, half joking and half serious, “because I’ve never seen her so upset with you before. And on the very first day of her return, no less!”
“The fault is not mine,” said I, somewhat sullenly; “I did but ask Lilian, and that as a humble prayer, not to make the acquaintance of a stranger in this town against whom I have reasons for distrust and aversion. I know not why that prayer should displease her.”
“The fault isn't mine,” I said, somewhat sulkily; “I just asked Lilian, and that was a humble request, not to meet a stranger in this town whom I have reasons to distrust and dislike. I don’t understand why that request would upset her.”
“Nor I. Who is the stranger?”
"Same here. Who's the stranger?"
“A person who calls himself Margrave. Let me at least entreat you to avoid him!”
“A person who calls himself Margrave. Please, I urge you to stay away from him!”
“Oh, I have no desire to make acquaintance with strangers. But, now Lilian is gone, do tell me all about this dreadful murder. The servants are full of it, and I cannot keep it long concealed from Lilian. I was in hopes that you would have broken it to her.”
“Oh, I really have no interest in meeting new people. But now that Lilian is gone, please tell me everything about this terrible murder. The staff can't stop talking about it, and I can't keep it from Lilian for much longer. I was hoping you would have told her.”
I rose impatiently; I could not bear to talk thus of an event the tragedy of which was associated in my mind with circumstances so mysterious. I became agitated and even angry when Mrs. Ashleigh persisted in rambling woman-like inquiries,—“Who was suspected of the deed? Who did I think had committed it? What sort of a man was Sir Philip? What was that strange story about a casket?” Breaking from such interrogations, to which I could give but abrupt and evasive answers, I seized my hat and took my departure.
I stood up, feeling impatient; I couldn't stand talking about an event whose tragedy was tied in my mind to such mysterious circumstances. I became agitated and even angry when Mrs. Ashleigh kept asking her endless, typical questions—“Who was suspected of the crime? Who did I think did it? What kind of man was Sir Philip? What's that strange story about a casket?” Breaking away from those questions, to which I could only provide short and evasive answers, I grabbed my hat and left.
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
Letter from Allen Fenwick to Lilian Ashleigh.
“I have promised to go to Derval Court to-day, and shall not return till to-morrow. I cannot bear the thought that so many hours should pass away with one feeling less kind than usual resting like a cloud upon you and me. Lilian, if I offended you, forgive me! Send me one line to say so!—one line which I can place next to my heart and cover with grateful kisses till we meet again!”
“I promised to go to Derval Court today, and I won’t be back until tomorrow. I can’t stand the idea that so many hours will go by with one less kind feeling hanging over you and me. Lilian, if I upset you, please forgive me! Just send me a quick note to let me know!—one line that I can keep close to my heart and cover with thankful kisses until we see each other again!”
Reply.
Respond.
“I scarcely know what you mean, nor do I quite understand my own state of mind at this moment. It cannot be that I love you less—and yet—but I will not write more now. I feel glad that we shall not meet for the next day or so, and then I hope to be quite recovered. I am not well at this moment. Do not ask me to forgive you; but if it is I who am in fault, forgive me, oh, forgive me, Allen!”
“I barely know what you mean, and I don't really understand what I'm feeling right now. I can't love you any less—but still—but I won't write more for now. I'm actually relieved that we won't see each other for the next day or so; I hope to feel completely better by then. I'm not doing well right now. Please don't ask me to forgive you; but if I'm the one in the wrong, forgive me, oh, forgive me, Allen!”
And with this unsatisfactory note, not worn next to my heart, not covered with kisses, but thrust crumpled into my desk like a creditor’s unwelcome bill, I flung myself on my horse and rode to Derval Court. I am naturally proud; my pride came now to my aid. I felt bitterly indignant against Lilian, so indignant that I resolved on my return to say to her, “If in those words, ‘And yet,’ you implied a doubt whether you loved me less, I cancel your vows, I give you back your freedom.” And I could have passed from her threshold with a firm foot, though with the certainty that I should never smile again.
And with this disappointing note, not held close to my heart, not covered with kisses, but stuffed crumpled into my desk like an unwelcome bill, I jumped on my horse and rode to Derval Court. I’m naturally proud; my pride helped me now. I felt deeply angry at Lilian, so angry that I decided on my way back to say to her, “If in those words, ‘And yet,’ you suggested that you might love me less, I cancel your vows; I’m giving you back your freedom.” And I could have walked out of her door confidently, even knowing that I would never smile again.
Does her note seem to you who may read these pages to justify such resentment? Perhaps not. But there is an atmosphere in the letters of the one we love which we alone—we who love—can feel, and in the atmosphere of that letter I felt the chill of the coming winter.
Does her note seem to you, the reader of these pages, to justify such resentment? Maybe not. But there’s a feeling in the letters from the one we love that only we—those who love—can sense, and in the mood of that letter, I felt the chill of the approaching winter.
I reached the park lodge of Derval Court late in the day. I had occasion to visit some patients whose houses lay scattered many miles apart, and for that reason, as well as from the desire for some quick bodily exercise which is so natural an effect of irritable perturbation of mind, I had made the journey on horseback instead of using a carriage that I could not have got through the lanes and field-paths by which alone the work set to myself could be accomplished in time.
I arrived at the Derval Court park lodge late in the day. I needed to visit some patients whose homes were spread out over many miles, and because of that, as well as my need for some quick physical activity, which is a natural response to feeling restless, I decided to make the trip on horseback instead of taking a carriage. I wouldn’t have been able to navigate the narrow lanes and field paths that were the only way to get my work done on time.
Just as I entered the park, an uneasy thought seized hold of me with the strength which is ascribed to presentiments. I had passed through my study (which has been so elaborately described) to my stables, as I generally did when I wanted my saddle-horse, and, in so doing, had doubtless left open the gate to the iron palisade, and probably the window of the study itself. I had been in this careless habit for several years, without ever once having cause for self-reproach. As I before said, there was nothing in my study to tempt a thief; the study was shut out from the body of the house, and the servant sure at nightfall both to close the window and lock the gate; yet now, for the first time, I felt an impulse, urgent, keen, and disquieting, to ride back to the town, and see those precautions taken. I could not guess why, but something whispered to me that my neglect had exposed me to some great danger. I even checked my horse and looked at my watch; too late!—already just on the stroke of Strahan’s dinner-hour as fixed in his note; my horse, too, was fatigued and spent: besides, what folly! what bearded man can believe in the warnings of a “presentiment”? I pushed on, and soon halted before the old-fashioned flight of stairs that led up to the Hall. Here I was accosted by the old steward; he had just descended the stairs, and as I dismounted he thrust his arm into mine unceremoniously, and drew me a little aside.
As I entered the park, an uneasy thought gripped me with the intensity usually associated with premonitions. I had walked through my study (which has been described in detail) to my stables, as I typically did when I needed my saddle-horse, and in doing so, I must have left the gate to the iron fence open, and probably the window of the study itself. I had been in this careless habit for several years, without ever feeling any regret. As I mentioned before, there was nothing in my study to attract a thief; the study was separated from the main part of the house, and the servant was sure to close the window and lock the gate at nightfall; yet now, for the first time, I felt a strong, sharp, and unsettling urge to ride back to town and make sure those precautions were in place. I couldn’t understand why, but something told me that my negligence had put me in some serious danger. I even stopped my horse and checked my watch; it was too late!—just about the time Strahan usually had dinner, as noted in his message; my horse was also tired and worn out: besides, how foolish! what sensible person could take the warnings of a “premonition” seriously? I continued on and soon stopped in front of the old-fashioned staircase that led up to the Hall. There, I was approached by the old steward; he had just come down the stairs, and as I got off my horse, he took my arm without ceremony and pulled me aside a bit.
“Doctor, I was right; it was his ghost that I saw by the iron door of the mausoleum. I saw it again at the same place last night, but I had no fit then. Justice on his murderer! Blood for blood!”
“Doctor, I was right; it was his ghost that I saw by the iron door of the mausoleum. I saw it again in the same place last night, but I didn’t have a fit then. Justice for his murderer! Blood for blood!”
“Ay!” said I, sternly; for if I suspected Margrave before, I felt convinced now that the inexpiable deed was his. Wherefore convinced? Simply because I now hated him more, and hate is so easily convinced! “Lilian! Lilian!” I murmured to myself that name; the flame of my hate was fed by my jealousy. “Ay!” said I, sternly, “murder will out.”
“Ay!” I said firmly; because if I suspected Margrave before, I was now sure that the unforgivable act was his. Why was I convinced? Simply because I hated him more now, and hate can easily lead to conviction! “Lilian! Lilian!” I whispered her name to myself; my jealousy fueled the fire of my hatred. “Ay!” I said firmly, “murder will be exposed.”
“What are the police about?” said the old man, querulously; “days pass on days, and no nearer the truth. But what does the new owner care? He has the rents and acres; what does he care for the dead? I will never serve another master. I have just told Mr. Strahan so. How do I know whether he did not do the deed? Who else had an interest in it?”
“What are the police doing?” the old man said, grumbling. “Days go by, and we still don't know the truth. But what does the new owner care? He has the rents and the land; why would he care about the dead? I will never work for another master. I just told Mr. Strahan that. How do I know he didn’t do it? Who else had a reason?”
“Hush, hush!” I cried; “you do not know how wildly you are talking.”
“Hush, hush!” I shouted; “you have no idea how crazy you sound.”
The old man stared at me, shook his head, released my arm, and strode away.
The old man looked at me, shook his head, let go of my arm, and walked off.
A labouring man came out of the garden, and having unbuckled the saddle-bags, which contained the few things required for so short a visit, I consigned my horse to his care, and ascended the perron. The old housekeeper met me in the hall, and conducted me up the great staircase, showed me into a bedroom prepared for me, and told me that Mr. Strahan was already waiting dinner for me. I should find him in the study. I hastened to join him. He began apologizing, very unnecessarily, for the state of his establishment. He had as yet engaged no new servants. The housekeeper with the help of a housemaid did all the work.
A worker came out of the garden, and after unbuckling the saddle-bags that held the few items needed for such a short visit, I entrusted my horse to his care and went up the steps. The old housekeeper greeted me in the hallway and led me up the main staircase, showed me to a bedroom that was ready for me, and informed me that Mr. Strahan was already waiting for dinner. I would find him in the study. I hurried to join him. He started apologizing, quite unnecessarily, about the condition of his household. He hadn’t hired any new staff yet. The housekeeper, with help from a maid, handled all the chores.
Richard Strahan at college had been as little distinguishable from other young men as a youth neither rich nor poor, neither clever nor stupid, neither handsome nor ugly, neither audacious sinner nor formal saint, possibly could be.
Richard Strahan in college was as unremarkable as any young man could be—neither rich nor poor, neither smart nor dull, neither good-looking nor unattractive, neither a daring rebel nor a strict goody-two-shoes.
Yet, to those who understood him well, he was not without some of those moral qualities by which a youth of mediocre intellect often matures into a superior man.
Yet, to those who really knew him, he had some of those moral qualities that can help an average person grow into a remarkable individual.
He was, as Sir Philip had been rightly informed, thoroughly honest and upright. But with a strong sense of duty, there was also a certain latent hardness. He was not indulgent. He had outward frankness with acquaintances, but was easily roused to suspicion. He had much of the thriftiness and self-denial of the North countryman, and I have no doubt that he had lived with calm content and systematic economy on an income which made him, as a bachelor, independent of his nominal profession, but would not have sufficed, in itself, for the fitting maintenance of a wife and family. He was, therefore, still single.
He was, as Sir Philip had been correctly informed, completely honest and straightforward. But along with a strong sense of duty, he also had a certain underlying hardness. He wasn't indulgent. He appeared open and friendly with acquaintances but was quick to become suspicious. He had a lot of the frugality and self-discipline characteristic of someone from the North, and I have no doubt he had been living with calm contentment and careful budgeting on an income that allowed him, as a bachelor, to be independent of his stated profession, but wouldn’t have been enough to properly support a wife and family. He was, therefore, still single.
It seems to me even during the few minutes in which we conversed before dinner was announced, that his character showed a new phase with his new fortunes. He talked in a grandiose style of the duties of station and the woes of wealth. He seemed to be very much afraid of spending, and still more appalled at the idea of being cheated. His temper, too, was ruffled; the steward had given him notice to quit. Mr. Jeeves, who had spent the morning with him, had said the steward would be a great loss, and a steward at once sharp and honest was not to be easily found.
It seems to me that even during the few minutes we talked before dinner was announced, his character showed a new side with his new wealth. He spoke in a grand way about the responsibilities of his position and the troubles that come with being rich. He appeared to be really worried about spending money and even more terrified at the thought of being cheated. His mood was also a bit off; the steward had given him notice to leave. Mr. Jeeves, who had spent the morning with him, mentioned that losing the steward would be a big loss, and that it’s not easy to find a steward who is both sharp and honest.
What trifles can embitter the possession of great goods! Strahan had taken a fancy to the old house; it was conformable to his notions, both of comfort and pomp, and Sir Philip had expressed a desire that the old house should be pulled down. Strahan had inspected the plans for the new mansion to which Sir Philip had referred, and the plans did not please him; on the contrary, they terrified.
What small things can sour the enjoyment of great possessions! Strahan had grown fond of the old house; it matched his ideas of both comfort and grandeur, and Sir Philip had expressed a wish for it to be demolished. Strahan had looked over the plans for the new mansion that Sir Philip mentioned, and he wasn’t impressed; instead, they frightened him.
“Jeeves says that I could not build such a house under L70,000 or L80,000, and then it will require twice the establishment which will suffice for this. I shall be ruined,” cried the man who had just come into possession of at least ten thousand a year.
“Jeeves says I couldn’t build a house like that for less than £70,000 or £80,000, and I’d need twice the staff that I have now. I’m going to be ruined,” exclaimed the man who had just inherited at least ten thousand a year.
“Sir Philip did not enjoin you to pull down the old house; he only advised you to do so. Perhaps he thought the site less healthy than that which he proposes for a new building, or was aware of some other drawback to the house, which you may discover later. Wait a little and see before deciding.”
“Sir Philip didn’t tell you to tear down the old house; he just suggested that you might want to. Maybe he believed the location was less healthy than the one he’s recommending for the new building, or he might have known about some other issue with the house that you’ll find out later. Wait a bit and see before making a decision.”
“But, at all events, I suppose I must pull down this curious old room,—the nicest part of the old house!”
“But, anyway, I guess I have to take down this strange old room—the best part of the old house!”
Strahan, as he spoke, looked wistfully round at the quaint oak chimneypiece; the carved ceiling; the well-built solid walls, with the large mullion casement, opening so pleasantly on the sequestered gardens. He had ensconced himself in Sir Philip’s study, the chamber in which the once famous mystic, Forman, had found a refuge.
Strahan, while he spoke, gazed longingly at the charming oak mantelpiece, the intricately carved ceiling, and the sturdy walls, with the large mullioned window that opened so invitingly onto the secluded gardens. He had settled into Sir Philip’s study, the room where the once-famous mystic, Forman, had sought refuge.
“So cozey a room for a single man!” sighed Strahan. “Near the stables and dog-kennels, too! But I suppose I must pull it down. I am not bound to do so legally; it is no condition of the will. But in honour and gratitude I ought not to disobey poor Sir Philip’s positive injunction.”
“So cozy a room for a single man!” sighed Strahan. “Near the stables and dog kennels, too! But I guess I have to tear it down. I’m not legally required to do so; it’s not a condition of the will. But out of honor and gratitude, I really shouldn’t ignore poor Sir Philip’s clear instructions.”
“Of that,” said I, gravely, “there cannot be a doubt.” Here our conversation was interrupted by Mrs. Gates, who informed us that dinner was served in the library. Wine of great age was brought from the long neglected cellars; Strahan filled and re-filled his glass, and, warmed into hilarity, began to talk of bringing old college friends around him in the winter season, and making the roof-tree ring with laughter and song once more.
“About that,” I said seriously, “there’s no doubt.” Just then, Mrs. Gates interrupted us to let us know that dinner was ready in the library. A fine old wine was brought up from the long-neglected cellars; Strahan filled and refilled his glass, and, feeling cheerful, started talking about gathering old college friends together in the winter and making the house resonate with laughter and song again.
Time wore away, and night had long set in, when Strahan at last rose from the table, his speech thick and his tongue unsteady. We returned to the study, and I reminded my host of the special object of my visit to him,—namely, the inspection of Sir Philip’s manuscript.
Time passed, and it was well into the night when Strahan finally got up from the table, his speech slurred and his tongue unsteady. We went back to the study, and I reminded my host of the specific reason for my visit—namely, to look at Sir Philip’s manuscript.
“It is tough reading,” said Strahan; “better put it off till tomorrow. You will stay here two or three days.”
"It’s hard to read," Strahan said. "You might as well wait until tomorrow. You'll be here for two or three days."
“No; I must return to L—— to-morrow. I cannot absent myself from my patients. And it is the more desirable that no time should be lost before examining the contents of the manuscript, because probably they may give some clew to the detection of the murderer.”
“No; I have to go back to L—— tomorrow. I can’t leave my patients. And it’s even more important that we don’t waste any time examining the contents of the manuscript, because they might give us a clue to finding the murderer.”
“Why do you think that?” cried Strahan, startled from the drowsiness that was creeping over him.
“Why do you think that?” Strahan shouted, jolted awake from the sleepiness that was taking over him.
“Because the manuscript may show that Sir Philip had some enemy, and who but an enemy could have had a motive for such a crime? Come, bring forth the book. You of all men are bound to be alert in every research that may guide the retribution of justice to the assassin of your benefactor.”
“Since the manuscript might reveal that Sir Philip had an enemy, who else but an enemy would have a motive for such a crime? Come on, bring out the book. You, more than anyone, should be vigilant in any investigation that could lead to justice for the murderer of your benefactor.”
“Yes, yes. I will offer a reward of L5,000 for the discovery. Allen, that wretched old steward had the insolence to tell me that I was the only man in the world who could have an interest in the death of his master; and he looked at me as if he thought that I had committed the crime. You are right; it becomes me, of all men, to be alert. The assassin must be found. He must hang.”
“Yes, yes. I’m offering a reward of £5,000 for information. Allen, that terrible old steward had the nerve to tell me that I was the only person in the world who would care about my master’s death; and he looked at me like he thought I was the one who did it. You’re right; it’s my responsibility, more than anyone else’s, to stay vigilant. The assassin must be caught. He has to face justice.”
While thus speaking, Strahan had risen, unlocked a desk, which stood on one of the safes, and drawn forth a thick volume, the contents of which were protected by a clasp and lock. Strahan proceeded to open this lock by one of a bunch of keys, which he said had been found on Sir Philip’s person.
While talking, Strahan stood up, unlocked a desk on one of the safes, and pulled out a thick book that was secured with a clasp and a lock. Strahan then opened the lock using one of the keys from a bunch that he said had been found on Sir Philip.
“There, Allen, this is the memoir. I need not tell you what store I place on it,—not, between you and me, that I expect it will warrant poor Sir Philip’s high opinion of his own scientific discoveries; that part of his letter seems to me very queer, and very flighty. But he evidently set his heart on the publication of his work, in part if not in whole; and, naturally, I must desire to comply with a wish so distinctly intimated by one to whom I owe so much. I beg you, therefore, not to be too fastidious. Some valuable hints in medicine, I have reason to believe, the manuscript will contain, and those may help you in your profession, Allen.”
"Here, Allen, this is the memoir. I don’t need to tell you how much I value it—though, honestly, I doubt it will justify poor Sir Philip’s high opinion of his own scientific discoveries; that part of his letter seems quite strange and a bit unrealistic to me. But he clearly wanted his work to be published, at least in part, and naturally, I want to honor a wish that's been so clearly expressed by someone I owe so much to. So, I ask you not to be too picky. I believe the manuscript will contain some valuable insights into medicine that may help you in your career, Allen."
“You have reason to believe! Why?”
“You have a reason to believe! Why?”
“Oh, a charming young fellow, who, with most of the other gentry resident at L——, called on me at my hotel, told me that he had travelled in the East, and had there heard much of Sir Philip’s knowledge of chemistry, and the cures it had enabled him to perform.”
“Oh, a charming young guy, who, along with most of the other local gentry at L——, visited me at my hotel, told me that he had traveled to the East, where he had heard a lot about Sir Philip’s expertise in chemistry and the remedies it had allowed him to create.”
“You speak of Mr. Margrave. He called on you?”
“You're talking about Mr. Margrave. Did he visit you?”
“Yes.”
"Yeah."
“You did not, I trust, mention to him the existence of Sir Philip’s manuscript.”
“You didn’t, I hope, tell him about Sir Philip’s manuscript.”
“Indeed I did; and I said you had promised to examine it. He seemed delighted at that, and spoke most highly of your peculiar fitness for the task.”
“Yeah, I did; and I mentioned that you had promised to look into it. He seemed really happy about that and spoke very highly of how well-suited you are for the job.”
“Give me the manuscript,” said I, abruptly, “and after I have looked at it to-night, I may have something to say to you tomorrow in reference to Mr. Margrave.”
“Give me the manuscript,” I said abruptly, “and after I look at it tonight, I might have something to discuss with you tomorrow about Mr. Margrave.”
“There is the book,” said Strahan; “I have just glanced at it, and find much of it written in Latin; and I am ashamed to say that I have so neglected the little Latin I learned in our college days that I could not construe what I looked at.”
“There’s the book,” said Strahan; “I just took a quick look at it, and I noticed a lot of it is written in Latin; I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve neglected the little Latin I learned back in college, so I couldn’t figure out what I was looking at.”
I sat down and placed the book before me; Strahan fell into a doze, from which he was wakened by the housekeeper, who brought in the tea-things.
I sat down and put the book in front of me; Strahan dozed off, and the housekeeper woke him up when she came in with the tea supplies.
“Well,” said Strahan, languidly, “do you find much in the book that explains the many puzzling riddles in poor Sir Philip’s eccentric life and pursuits?”
“Well,” said Strahan, lazily, “do you find anything in the book that explains the many confusing mysteries of poor Sir Philip’s strange life and interests?”
“Yes,” said I. “Do not interrupt me.”
“Yes,” I said. “Don’t interrupt me.”
Strahan again began to doze, and the housekeeper asked if we should want anything more that night, and if I thought I could find my way to my bedroom.
Strahan started to doze off again, and the housekeeper asked if we needed anything else that night and if I thought I could find my way to my bedroom.
I dismissed her impatiently, and continued to read. Strahan woke up again as the clock struck eleven, and finding me still absorbed in the manuscript, and disinclined to converse, lighted his candle, and telling me to replace the manuscript in the desk when I had done with it, and be sure to lock the desk and take charge of the key, which he took off the bunch and gave me, went upstairs, yawning.
I waved her off impatiently and kept reading. Strahan woke up again when the clock hit eleven, and seeing that I was still focused on the manuscript and not in the mood to chat, he lit his candle. He told me to put the manuscript back in the desk once I was done with it and to make sure to lock the desk and look after the key, which he took from the keyring and handed to me, then he went upstairs yawning.
I was alone in the wizard Forman’s chamber, and bending over a stranger record than had ever excited my infant wonder, or, in later years, provoked my sceptic smile.
I was alone in the wizard Forman’s room, leaning over a stranger record than had ever sparked my childhood curiosity, or, in later years, made me smirk in disbelief.
CHAPTER XXXIX.
The Manuscript was written in a small and peculiar handwriting, which, though evidently by the same person whose letter to Strahan I had read, was, whether from haste or some imperfection in the ink, much more hard to decipher. Those parts of the Memoir which related to experiments, or alleged secrets in Nature, that the writer intimated a desire to submit exclusively to scholars or men of science, were in Latin,—and Latin which, though grammatically correct, was frequently obscure. But all that detained the eye and attention on the page necessarily served to impress the contents more deeply on remembrance.
The manuscript was written in a small and unusual handwriting, which, although clearly by the same person whose letter to Strahan I had read, was much harder to decipher due to either haste or some flaw in the ink. The sections of the memoir that talked about experiments or claimed secrets of nature, which the writer suggested sharing only with scholars or scientists, were in Latin—Latin that, while grammatically correct, was often unclear. But everything that caught the eye and attention on the page helped make the contents stick in memory even more.
The narrative commenced with the writer’s sketch of his childhood. Both his parents had died before he attained his seventh year. The orphan had been sent by his guardians to a private school, and his holidays had been passed at Derval Court. Here his earliest reminiscences were those of the quaint old room, in which I now sat, and of his childish wonder at the inscription on the chimneypiece—who and what was the Simon Forman who had there found a refuge from persecution? Of what nature were the studies he had cultivated, and the discoveries he boasted to have made?
The story began with the author reflecting on his childhood. Both of his parents had died before he turned seven. The orphan was sent by his guardians to a private school, and he spent his holidays at Derval Court. Here, his earliest memories were of the quirky old room where I now sat, and his childhood curiosity about the inscription on the chimneypiece—who was Simon Forman, and what did he do to find refuge from persecution? What kind of studies had he pursued, and what discoveries did he claim to have made?
When he was about sixteen, Philip Derval had begun to read the many mystic books which the library contained; but without other result on his mind than the sentiment of disappointment and disgust. The impressions produced on the credulous imagination of childhood vanished. He went to the University; was sent abroad to travel: and on his return took that place in the circles of London which is so readily conceded to a young idler of birth and fortune. He passed quickly over that period of his life, as one of extravagance and dissipation, from which he was first drawn by the attachment for his cousin to which his letter to Strahan referred. Disappointed in the hopes which that affection had conceived, and his fortune impaired, partly by some years of reckless profusion, and partly by the pecuniary sacrifices at which he had effected his cousin’s marriage with another, he retired to Derval Court, to live there in solitude and seclusion. On searching for some old title-deeds required for a mortgage, he chanced upon a collection of manuscripts much discoloured, and, in part, eaten away by moth or damp. These, on examination, proved to be the writings of Forman. Some of them were astrological observations and predictions; some were upon the nature of the Cabbala; some upon the invocation of spirits and the magic of the dark ages. All had a certain interest, for they were interspersed with personal remarks, anecdotes of eminent actors in a very stirring time, and were composed as Colloquies, in imitation of Erasmus,—the second person in the dialogue being Sir Miles Derval, the patron and pupil; the first person being Forman, the philosopher and expounder.
When he was about sixteen, Philip Derval started reading the many mystical books in the library, but all he felt was disappointment and disgust. The awe that filled his imaginative childhood wore off. He went to university, traveled abroad, and upon his return, he took his place in London’s social circles, easily granted to a young person of privilege and wealth. He quickly moved past that phase of his life, which was filled with extravagance and indulgence, until he became attached to his cousin, as mentioned in his letter to Strahan. Disappointed by the hopes that relationship had raised and facing a decline in his fortune—partly from years of reckless spending and partly from the financial sacrifices he made to allow his cousin to marry someone else—he retreated to Derval Court to live in solitude and seclusion. While searching for some old title deeds needed for a mortgage, he stumbled upon a collection of manuscripts that were faded and partially damaged by moths or dampness. Upon closer inspection, these turned out to be the writings of Forman. Some contained astrological observations and predictions, others discussed the nature of the Kabbalah, and some dealt with spirit invocation and dark age magic. All of them were intriguing, filled with personal remarks, anecdotes about notable figures from a tumultuous time, and written as dialogues, imitating Erasmus—Sir Miles Derval, the patron and pupil, was the second speaker, while Forman, the philosopher and interpreter, was the first.
But along with these shadowy lucubrations were treatises of a more uncommon and a more startling character,—discussions on various occult laws of nature, and detailed accounts of analytical experiments. These opened a new, and what seemed to Sir Philip a practical, field of inquiry,—a true border-land between natural science and imaginative speculation. Sir Philip had cultivated philosophical science at the University; he resumed the study, and tested himself the truth of various experiments suggested by Forman. Some, to his surprise, proved successful, some wholly failed. These lucubrations first tempted the writer of the memoir towards the studies in which the remainder of his life had been consumed. But he spoke of the lucubrations themselves as valuable only where suggestive of some truths which Forman had accidentally approached, without being aware of their true nature and importance. They were debased by absurd puerilities, and vitiated by the vain and presumptuous ignorance which characterized the astrology of the middle ages. For these reasons the writer intimated his intention (if he lived to return to England) to destroy Forman’s manuscripts, together with sundry other books, and a few commentaries of his own upon studies which had for a while misled him,—all now deposited in the safes of the room in which I sat.
But alongside these shadowy reflections were writings of a more unusual and startling nature—discussions on various hidden laws of nature and detailed accounts of scientific experiments. These opened a new, and what seemed to Sir Philip like a practical, area of inquiry—a true borderland between natural science and imaginative speculation. Sir Philip had studied philosophical science at the university; he returned to his studies and personally tested the validity of various experiments suggested by Forman. Some, to his surprise, succeeded, while others completely failed. These reflections initially drew the writer of the memoir toward the studies that consumed the rest of his life. However, he regarded the writings themselves as only valuable where they hinted at some truths that Forman had accidentally stumbled upon, without recognizing their true nature and significance. They were tainted by ridiculous childishness and flawed by the vain and presumptuous ignorance that marked medieval astrology. For these reasons, the writer hinted at his intention (if he lived to return to England) to destroy Forman’s manuscripts, along with several other books and a few of his own commentaries on studies that had misled him for a time—all now stored in the safes of the room where I sat.
After some years passed in the retirement of Derval Court, Sir Philip was seized with the desire to travel, and the taste he had imbibed for occult studies led him towards those Eastern lands in which they took their origin, and still retain their professors.
After spending some years in retirement at Derval Court, Sir Philip developed a desire to travel, and his interest in occult studies drew him to the Eastern lands where they originated and continue to have their experts.
Several pages of the manuscript were now occupied with minute statements of the writer’s earlier disappointment in the objects of his singular research. The so-called magicians, accessible to the curiosity of European travellers, were either but ingenious jugglers, or produced effects that perplexed him by practices they had mechanically learned, but of the rationale of which they were as ignorant as himself. It was not till he had resided some considerable time in the East, and acquired a familiar knowledge of its current languages and the social habits of its various populations, that he became acquainted with men in whom he recognized earnest cultivators of the lore which tradition ascribes to the colleges and priesthoods of the ancient world,—men generally living remote from others, and seldom to be bribed by money to exhibit their marvels or divulge their secrets. In his intercourse with these sages, Sir Philip arrived at the conviction that there does exist an art of magic, distinct from the guile of the conjuror, and applying to certain latent powers and affinities in nature,—a philosophy akin to that which we receive in our acknowledged schools, inasmuch as it is equally based on experiment, and produces from definite causes definite results. In support of this startling proposition, Sir Philip now devoted more than half his volume to the details of various experiments, to the process and result of which he pledged his guarantee as the actual operator. As most of these alleged experiments appeared to me wholly incredible, and as all of them were unfamiliar to my practical experience, and could only be verified or falsified by tests that would require no inconsiderable amount of time and care, I passed with little heed over the pages in which they were set forth. I was impatient to arrive at that part of the manuscript which might throw light on the mystery in which my interest was the keenest. What were the links which connected the existence of Margrave with the history of Sir Philip Derval? Thus hurrying on, page after page, I suddenly, towards the end of the volume, came upon a name that arrested all my attention,—Haroun of Aleppo. He who has read the words addressed to me in my trance may well conceive the thrill that shot through my heart when I came upon that name, and will readily understand how much more vividly my memory retains that part of the manuscript to which I now proceed, than all which had gone before.
Several pages of the manuscript were now filled with detailed accounts of the writer’s earlier disappointments in the subjects of his unique research. The so-called magicians, available to European travelers' curiosity, were either just clever tricksters or created effects that baffled him through practices they had mechanically learned, but of which they were as clueless as he was. It wasn't until he had spent a significant amount of time in the East and gained a solid understanding of its languages and the social customs of its diverse populations that he met individuals he recognized as serious practitioners of the knowledge handed down from ancient colleges and priesthoods—men who generally lived away from others and were rarely tempted by money to showcase their wonders or reveal their secrets. In his interactions with these wise individuals, Sir Philip became convinced that there is indeed a form of magic, separate from the tricks of conjurers, that relates to certain hidden powers and connections in nature— a philosophy similar to that found in our accepted schools, as it is equally rooted in experimentation, yielding specific results from clear causes. To support this surprising claim, Sir Philip dedicated more than half of his volume to detailed accounts of various experiments, the processes and outcomes of which he guaranteed as the actual performer. Since most of these claimed experiments seemed entirely unbelievable to me, and since all of them were unfamiliar to my practical experience and could only be verified or disproven through tests that would take a significant amount of time and effort, I paid little attention to the pages where they were described. I was eager to get to the part of the manuscript that might shed light on the mystery that intrigued me the most. What were the connections between Margrave’s existence and the history of Sir Philip Derval? As I hurried through the pages, I suddenly came across a name towards the end of the volume that captured all my attention—Haroun of Aleppo. Anyone who has read the words spoken to me in my trance can imagine the thrill that surged through my heart when I found that name and will easily understand how much more clearly my memory retains that section of the manuscript than anything that preceded it.
“It was,” wrote Sir Philip, “in an obscure suburb of Aleppo that I at length met with the wonderful man from whom I have acquired a knowledge immeasurably more profound and occult than that which may be tested in the experiments to which I have devoted so large a share of this memoir. Haroun of Aleppo had, indeed, mastered every secret in nature which the nobler, or theurgic, magic seeks to fathom. “He had discovered the great Principle of Animal Life, which had hitherto baffled the subtlest anatomist. Provided only that the great organs were not irreparably destroyed, there was no disease that he could not cure; no decrepitude to which he could not restore vigour: yet his science was based on the same theory as that espoused by the best professional practitioner of medicine, namely, that the true art of healing is to assist nature to throw off the disease; to summon, as it were, the whole system to eject the enemy that has fastened on a part. And thus his processes, though occasionally varying in the means employed, all combined in this,—namely, the re-invigourating and recruiting of the principle of life.”
“It was,” wrote Sir Philip, “in a little-known suburb of Aleppo that I finally met the amazing man from whom I gained a knowledge that is far deeper and more mysterious than what can be tested in the experiments I’ve dedicated a large part of this memoir to. Haroun of Aleppo had truly mastered every secret of nature that higher, or theurgic, magic aims to uncover. “He had discovered the great Principle of Animal Life, which had previously puzzled even the most skilled anatomists. As long as the main organs weren’t irreparably damaged, there was no illness he couldn’t cure; no weakness he couldn’t restore vitality to: yet his science was based on the same principle that the best medical professionals follow, which is that the real art of healing is to help nature eliminate the disease; to call upon, as it were, the entire system to expel the invader that has attached itself to a part. And so his methods, while occasionally differing in the techniques used, all focused on this—namely, reinvigorating and supporting the principle of life.”
No one knew the birth or origin of Haroun; no one knew his age. In outward appearance he was in the strength and prime of mature manhood; but, according to testimonies in which the writer of the memoir expressed a belief that, I need scarcely say, appeared to me egregiously credulous, Haroun’s existence under the same name, and known by the same repute, could be traced back to more than a hundred years. He told Sir Philip that he had thrice renewed his own life, and had resolved to do so no more; he had grown weary of living on. With all his gifts, Haroun owned himself to be consumed by a profound melancholy. He complained that there was nothing new to him under the sun; he said that, while he had at his command unlimited wealth, wealth had ceased to bestow enjoyment, and he preferred living as simply as a peasant; he had tired out all the affections and all the passions of the human heart; he was in the universe as in a solitude. In a word, Haroun would often repeat, with mournful solemnity: “‘The soul is not meant to inhabit this earth and in fleshy tabernacle for more than the period usually assigned to mortals; and when by art in repairing the walls of the body we so retain it, the soul repines, becomes inert or dejected. He only,” said Haroun, “would feel continued joy in continued existence who could preserve in perfection the sensual part of man, with such mind or reason as may be independent of the spiritual essence, but whom soul itself has quitted!—man, in short, as the grandest of the animals, but without the sublime discontent of earth, which is the peculiar attribute of soul.”
No one knew where Haroun came from or how old he was. To outsiders, he looked like he was in the prime of his life, but according to the memoir's author, who I think is incredibly naive, Haroun had been around for over a hundred years, going by the same name and reputation. He told Sir Philip that he had renewed his life three times and decided he wouldn’t do it again; he was tired of living. Despite all his talents, Haroun admitted to being deeply melancholic. He complained that there was nothing new under the sun; even though he had unlimited wealth, it no longer brought him joy, and he preferred to live simply like a peasant. He had drained all the emotions and passions from the human heart; he felt as if he existed in a solitude within the universe. In short, Haroun often lamented with a sad seriousness: “The soul is not meant to stay on this earth and in a physical body longer than what’s typically given to mortals; and when we artificially extend the life of the body, the soul becomes restless, inactive, or depressed. Only he,” Haroun said, “would find continuous joy in endless existence who could perfectly maintain the physical aspect of humanity, with a mind or reason that remains independent of the spiritual essence, yet whose soul has departed!—man, basically, as the greatest of animals, but without the profound discontent of earthly life, which is the unique quality of the soul.”
One evening Sir Philip was surprised to find at Haroun’s house another European. He paused in his narrative to describe this man. He said that for three or four years previously he had heard frequent mention, amongst the cultivators of magic, of an orientalized Englishman engaged in researches similar to his own, and to whom was ascribed a terrible knowledge in those branches of the art which, even in the East, are condemned as instrumental to evil. Sir Philip here distinguished at length, as he had so briefly distinguished in his conversation with me, between the two kinds of magic,—that which he alleged to be as pure from sin as any other species of experimental knowledge, and that by which the agencies of witchcraft are invoked for the purposes of guilt.
One evening, Sir Philip was surprised to find another European at Haroun’s house. He paused in his story to describe this man. He mentioned that for the past three or four years, he had often heard among those who practice magic about an Englishman with an Eastern flair who was involved in similar studies, and who was rumored to have a deep understanding of those aspects of the art that are even considered evil in the East. Sir Philip then clarified, as he had only briefly noted in his conversation with me, the distinction between two types of magic—one that he claimed was as free from sin as any other form of experimental knowledge, and the other that uses witchcraft for malicious purposes.
The Englishman, to whom the culture of this latter and darker kind of magic was ascribed, Sir Philip Derval had never hitherto come across. He now met him at the house of Haroun; decrepit, emaciated, bowed down with infirmities, and racked with pain. Though little more than sixty, his aspect was that of extreme old age; but still on his face there were seen the ruins of a once singular beauty, and still, in his mind, there was a force that contrasted the decay of the body. Sir Philip had never met with an intellect more powerful and more corrupt. The son of a notorious usurer, heir to immense wealth, and endowed with the talents which justify ambition, he had entered upon life burdened with the odium of his father’s name. A duel, to which he had been provoked by an ungenerous taunt on his origin, but in which a temperament fiercely vindictive had led him to violate the usages prescribed by the social laws that regulate such encounters, had subjected him to a trial in which he escaped conviction either by a flaw in the technicalities of legal procedure, or by the compassion of the jury;(1) but the moral presumptions against him were sufficiently strong to set an indelible brand on his honour, and an insurmountable barrier to the hopes which his early ambition had conceived. After this trial he had quitted his country, to return to it no more. Thenceforth, much of his life had been passed out of sight or conjecture of civilized men in remote regions and amongst barbarous tribes. At intervals, however, he had reappeared in European capitals; shunned by and shunning his equals, surrounded by parasites, amongst whom were always to be found men of considerable learning, whom avarice or poverty subjected to the influences of his wealth. For the last nine or ten years he had settled in Persia, purchased extensive lands, maintained the retinue, and exercised more than the power of an Oriental prince. Such was the man who, prematurely worn out, and assured by physicians that he had not six weeks of life, had come to Aleppo with the gaudy escort of an Eastern satrap, had caused himself to be borne in his litter to the mud-hut of Haroun the Sage, and now called on the magician, in whose art was his last hope, to reprieve him from the—grave.
The Englishman credited with this darker kind of magic, Sir Philip Derval, had never encountered him before. He now met him at Haroun's house; he was frail, thin, bent over with illness, and suffering from pain. Although he was only a little over sixty, he looked extremely old. Yet, remnants of a once striking beauty remained on his face, and in his mind, a strength persisted that contrasted with his ailing body. Sir Philip had never encountered an intellect more powerful and more corrupt. The son of a well-known loan shark, he was heir to vast wealth and possessed talents that warranted ambition, but he had started life burdened by the stigma of his father's name. A duel, provoked by a cruel remark about his origins, had led him to act out of a fierce desire for revenge, breaking the social conventions that typically governed such encounters. He managed to avoid conviction, thanks either to a flaw in the legal process or the jury’s sympathy; however, the moral implications against him were strong enough to leave an indelible mark on his honor, creating an insurmountable obstacle to the ambitions he had in his youth. After the trial, he had left his country and never returned. From then on, much of his life was spent out of the reach and sight of civilization, in remote areas and among savage tribes. However, he occasionally showed up in European capitals; ostracized by and avoiding those of his social standing, he was surrounded by hangers-on, including learned individuals whom greed or poverty had drawn to him for his wealth. For the past nine or ten years, he had settled in Persia, buying large tracts of land, maintaining a retinue, and wielding more power than an Oriental prince. This was the man who, prematurely aged and told by doctors that he had no more than six weeks to live, had come to Aleppo with the flashy entourage of an Eastern satrap, had himself carried in a litter to the humble dwelling of Haroun the Sage, and now sought the magician, whose arts represented his last hope, to save him from the grave.
He turned round to Sir Philip, when the latter entered the room, and exclaimed in English, “I am here because you are. Your intimacy with this man was known to me. I took your character as the guarantee of his own. Tell me that I am no credulous dupe. Tell him that I, Louis Grayle, am no needy petitioner. Tell me of his wisdom; assure him of my wealth.”
He turned to Sir Philip as soon as he walked into the room and said in English, “I’m here because of you. I already knew about your close relationship with this man. I trusted you as a sign of his worth. Please tell me I’m not an easy fool. Let him know that I, Louis Grayle, am not a desperate beggar. Tell me about his intelligence; make sure he knows about my wealth.”
Sir Philip looked inquiringly at Haroun, who remained seated on his carpet in profound silence.
Sir Philip looked curiously at Haroun, who stayed seated on his carpet in deep silence.
“What is it you ask of Haroun?”
“What do you want from Haroun?”
“To live on—to live on! For every year of life he can give me, I will load these floors with gold.”
“To keep living—to keep living! For every year of life he can give me, I’ll fill these floors with gold.”
“Gold will not tempt Haroun.”
“Gold won't tempt Haroun.”
“What will?”
"What will happen?"
“Ask him yourself; you speak his language.”
“Ask him yourself; you can talk to him.”
“I have asked him; he vouchsafes me no answer.”
“I’ve asked him, but he won’t give me an answer.”
Haroun here suddenly roused himself as from a revery. He drew from under his robe a small phial, from which he let fall a single drop into a cup of water, and said, “Drink this; send to me tomorrow for such medicaments as I may prescribe. Return hither yourself in three days; not before!”
Haroun suddenly snapped out of his daydream. He pulled a small vial from under his robe, dropped a single drop into a cup of water, and said, “Drink this; come back tomorrow for any medicines I might prescribe. Come back yourself in three days; not before!”
When Grayle was gone, Sir Philip, moved to pity, asked Haroun if, indeed, it were within the compass of his art to preserve life in a frame that appeared so thoroughly exhausted. Haroun answered, “A fever may so waste the lamp of life that one ruder gust of air could extinguish the flame, yet the sick man recovers. This sick man’s existence has been one long fever; this sick man can recover.”
When Grayle left, Sir Philip, feeling compassion, asked Haroun if it was really possible for him to save a life that seemed so completely drained. Haroun replied, “A fever can weaken the flame of life to the point that a harsh breeze could snuff it out, yet the patient may still recover. This patient has experienced a continuous fever; this patient can regain health.”
“You will aid him to do so?”
“You're going to help him do that?”
“Three days hence I will tell you.”
“Three days from now I will let you know.”
On the third day Grayle revisited Haroun, and, at Haroun’s request, Sir Philip came also. Grayle declared that he had already derived unspeakable relief from the remedies administered; he was lavish in expressions of gratitude; pressed large gifts on Haroun, and seemed pained when they were refused. This time Haroun conversed freely, drawing forth Grayle’s own irregular, perverted, stormy, but powerful intellect.
On the third day, Grayle went back to see Haroun, and at Haroun’s request, Sir Philip came along too. Grayle said he had already felt immense relief from the treatments he received; he was overflowing with gratitude and insisted on giving Haroun generous gifts, looking disappointed when they were declined. This time, Haroun spoke openly, bringing out Grayle’s unique, chaotic, passionate, yet strong mind.
I can best convey the general nature of Grayle’s share in the dialogue between himself, Haroun, and Derval—recorded in the narrative in words which I cannot trust my memory to repeat in detail—by stating the effect it produced on my own mind. It seemed, while I read, as if there passed before me some convulsion of Nature,—a storm, an earthquake,—outcries of rage, of scorn, of despair, a despot’s vehemence of will, a rebel’s scoff at authority; yet, ever and anon, some swell of lofty thought, some burst of passionate genius,—abrupt variations from the vaunt of superb defiance to the wail of intense remorse.
I can best describe Grayle’s contribution to the conversation between him, Haroun, and D
The whole had in it, I know not what of uncouth but colossal,—like the chant, in the old lyrical tragedy, of one of those mythical giants, who, proud of descent from Night and Chaos, had held sway over the elements, while still crude and conflicting, to be crushed under the rocks, upheaved in their struggle, as Order and Harmony subjected a brightening Creation to the milder influences throned in Olympus. But it was not till the later passages of the dialogue in which my interest was now absorbed, that the language ascribed to this sinister personage lost a gloomy pathos not the less impressive for the awe with which it was mingled. For, till then, it seemed to me as if in that tempestuous nature there were still broken glimpses of starry light; that a character originally lofty, if irregular and fierce, had been embittered by early and continuous war with the social world, and had, in that war, become maimed and distorted; that, under happier circumstances, its fiery strength might have been disciplined to good; that even now, where remorse was so evidently poignant, evil could not be irredeemably confirmed.
The whole thing had something strange yet massive about it—like the chant in an old tragic song of one of those mythical giants who, proud of their roots in Night and Chaos, had dominated the elements while they were still rough and clashing, only to be crushed under the rocks that were uplifted in their struggle as Order and Harmony subjected a brightening Creation to the softer influences resting in Olympus. But it wasn’t until the later parts of the dialogue that caught my interest that the words spoken by this sinister character lost a gloomy sadness that was still striking because of the fear it inspired. Until then, it felt like, in that tumultuous nature, there were still broken glimpses of starry light; that a character originally noble, though uneven and fierce, had been embittered by ongoing conflict with the social world, and had, in that struggle, become damaged and distorted; that, in better circumstances, its fiery strength could have been shaped for good; and that even now, where remorse was so clearly intense, evil couldn’t be completely beyond redemption.
At length all the dreary compassion previously inspired vanished in one unqualified abhorrence.
At last, all the sad sympathy that had been stirred up disappeared, replaced by pure disgust.
The subjects discussed changed from those which, relating to the common world of men, were within the scope of my reason. Haroun led his wild guest to boast of his own proficiency in magic, and, despite my incredulity, I could not overcome the shudder with which fictions, however extravagant, that deal with that dark Unknown abandoned to the chimeras of poets, will, at night and in solitude, send through the veins of men the least accessible to imaginary terrors.
The topics shifted from those that connected to the everyday lives of people, which I could easily understand. Haroun encouraged his unpredictable guest to show off his skills in magic, and even though I found it hard to believe, I couldn’t shake off the chill that stories, no matter how crazy, about that dark Unknown, left to the fantasies of poets, will send through the veins of even the most fearless men at night and in solitude.
Grayle spoke of the power he had exercised through the agency of evil spirits,—a power to fascinate and to destroy. He spoke of the aid revealed to him, now too late, which such direful allies could afford, not only to a private revenge, but to a kingly ambition. Had he acquired the knowledge he declared himself to possess before the feebleness of the decaying body made it valueless, how he could have triumphed over that world which had expelled his youth from its pale! He spoke of means by which his influence could work undetected on the minds of others, control agencies that could never betray, and baffle the justice that could never discover. He spoke vaguely of a power by which a spectral reflection of the material body could be cast, like a shadow, to a distance; glide through the walls of a prison, elude the sentinels of a camp,—a power that he asserted to be when enforced by concentrated will, and acting on the mind, where in each individual temptation found mind the weakest—almost infallible in its effect to seduce or to appall. And he closed these and similar boasts of demoniacal arts, which I remember too obscurely to repeat, with a tumultuous imprecation on their nothingness to avail against the gripe of death. All this lore he would communicate to Haroun, in return for what? A boon shared by the meanest peasant,—life, common life; to breathe yet a while the air, feel yet a while the sun.
Grayle talked about the power he had exercised through evil spirits—a power to captivate and destroy. He described the help he had realized, too late, that these sinister allies could provide, not just for personal revenge but for royal ambition. If he had gained the knowledge he claimed to have before his weakening body made it useless, how he could have conquered that world that pushed his youth away! He mentioned ways his influence could work unnoticed on others' minds, control forces that could never betray him, and outsmart justice that could never uncover the truth. He spoke vaguely about a power that allowed a ghostly reflection of the physical body to be projected, like a shadow, far away; to slip through prison walls and evade camp sentries—a power he insisted was almost infallible in its ability to seduce or terrify when backed by focused will, targeting the mind where individual temptations found it weakest. He concluded these boastful claims of demonic skills, which I remember too vaguely to repeat, with a passionate curse on their inability to stand against the grasp of death. He intended to share all this knowledge with Haroun in exchange for what? A boon shared by the lowest peasant—life, ordinary life; to breathe the air a little longer, to feel the sun a little longer.
Then Haroun replied. He said, with a quiet disdain, that the dark art to which Grayle made such boastful pretence was the meanest of all abuses of knowledge, rightly abandoned, in all ages, to the vilest natures. And then, suddenly changing his tone, he spoke, so far as I can remember the words assigned to him in the manuscript, to this effect,—
Then Haroun replied. He said, with a quiet disdain, that the dark art Grayle bragged about was the lowest form of misuse of knowledge, which has been justly left throughout history to the most contemptible individuals. And then, suddenly changing his tone, he spoke, as far as I can remember the words written in the manuscript, to this effect,—
“Fallen and unhappy wretch, and you ask me for prolonged life!—a prolonged curse to the world and to yourself. Shall I employ spells to lengthen the term of the Pestilence, or profane the secrets of Nature to restore vigour and youth to the failing energies of Crime?”
“Fallen and miserable wretch, and you want me to give you a longer life!—a longer curse for the world and for yourself. Should I use magic to extend the duration of the Plague, or betray the secrets of Nature to bring strength and youth back to the dwindling powers of Evil?”
Grayle, as if stunned by the rebuke, fell on his knees with despairing entreaties that strangely contrasted his previous arrogance. “And it was,” he said, “because his life had been evil that he dreaded death. If life could be renewed he would repent, he would change; he retracted his vaunts, he would forsake the arts he had boasted, he would re-enter the world as its benefactor.”
Grayle, seemingly shocked by the criticism, dropped to his knees with desperate pleas that sharply contrasted his earlier arrogance. “And it was,” he said, “because his life had been wicked that he feared death. If life could be given another chance, he would repent, he would change; he took back his boasts, he would give up the skills he had bragged about, he would come back into the world as its helper.”
“So ever the wicked man lies to himself when appalled by the shadow of death,” answered Haroun. “But know, by the remorse which preys on thy soul, that it is not thy soul that addresses this prayer to me. Couldst thou hear, through the storms of the Mind, the Soul’s melancholy whisper, it would dissuade thee from a wish to live on. While I speak, I behold it, that Soul,—sad for the stains on its essence, awed by the account it must render, but dreading, as the direst calamity, a renewal of years below, darker stains and yet heavier accounts! Whatever the sentence it may now undergo, it has a hope for mercy in the remorse which the mind vainly struggles to quell. But darker its doom if longer retained to earth, yoked to the mind that corrupts it, and enslaved to the senses which thou bidst me restore to their tyrannous forces.”
“So the wicked man deceives himself when faced with the fear of death,” Haroun replied. “But know, through the guilt that eats away at your soul, that it's not your soul that is making this plea to me. If you could hear, amidst the chaos of your thoughts, the Soul’s sorrowful murmur, it would discourage you from wanting to stay alive. As I speak, I see that Soul—grieving over the stains on its essence, fearful of the reckoning it must face, but dreading, as the worst disaster, the thought of living again below, with even darker stains and heavier burdens! Whatever punishment it may face now, there’s still a hope for mercy in the guilt that the mind futilely tries to suppress. But its fate is worse if it's kept tied to this world, shackled to the corrupting mind, and enslaved to the senses that you want me to restore to their oppressive control.”
And Grayle bowed his head and covered his face with his hands in silence and in trembling.
And Grayle lowered his head and covered his face with his hands, remaining silent and trembling.
Then Sir Philip, seized with compassion, pleaded for him. “At least, could not the soul have longer time on earth for repentance?” And while Sir Philip was so pleading, Grayle fell prostrate in a swoon like that of death. When he recovered, his head was leaning on Haroun’s knee, and his opening eyes fixed on the glittering phial which Haroun held, and from which his lips had been moistened.
Then Sir Philip, filled with compassion, begged for him. “Couldn’t the soul at least have more time on earth to repent?” While Sir Philip was making this plea, Grayle collapsed in a faint that resembled death. When he came to, his head was resting on Haroun’s knee, and as he opened his eyes, they were fixed on the shining vial that Haroun held, from which his lips had been moistened.
“Wondrous!” he murmured: “how I feel life flowing back to me. And that, then, is the elixir! it is no fable!”
“Wondrous!” he whispered: “I can feel life coming back to me. And that, then, is the elixir! It’s not a myth!”
His hands stretched greedily as to seize the phial, and he cried imploringly, “More, more!” Haroun replaced the vessel in the folds of his robe, and answered,—
His hands reached out eagerly to grab the bottle, and he shouted desperately, “More, more!” Haroun put the container back in the folds of his robe and replied,—
“I will not renew thy youth, but I will release thee from bodily suffering: I will leave the mind and the soul free from the pangs of the flesh, to reconcile, if yet possible, their long war. My skill may afford thee months yet for repentance; Seek, in that interval, to atone for the evil of sixty years; apply thy wealth where it may most compensate for injury done, most relieve the indigent, and most aid the virtuous. Listen to thy remorse; humble thyself in prayer.”
“I won’t restore your youth, but I will free you from physical pain: I’ll let your mind and soul be free from the struggles of the body, to try to make peace, if it’s still possible, in their long conflict. My skills might give you a few more months to reflect; during that time, try to make up for the wrongs of sixty years. Use your wealth where it can best make up for the harm done, help those in need, and support the good. Pay attention to your regrets; humble yourself in prayer.”
Grayle departed, sighing heavily and muttering to himself. The next day Haroun summoned Sir Philip Derval, and said to him,—
Grayle left, letting out a heavy sigh and mumbling to himself. The next day, Haroun called for Sir Philip Derval and said to him,—
“Depart to Damascus. In that city the Pestilence has appeared. Go thither thou, to heal and to save. In this casket are stored the surest antidotes to the poison of the plague. Of that essence, undiluted and pure, which tempts to the undue prolongation of soul in the prison of flesh, this casket contains not a drop. I curse not my friend with so mournful a boon. Thou hast learned enough of my art to know by what simples the health of the temperate is easily restored to its balance, and their path to the grave smoothed from pain. Not more should Man covet from Nature for the solace and weal of the body. Nobler gifts far than aught for the body this casket contains. Herein are the essences which quicken the life of those duplicate senses that lie dormant and coiled in their chrysalis web, awaiting the wings of a future development,—the senses by which we can see, though not with the eye, and hear, but not by the ear. Herein are the links between Man’s mind and Nature’s; herein are secrets more precious even than these,—those extracts of light which enable the Soul to distinguish itself from the Mind, and discriminate the spiritual life, not more from life carnal than life intellectual. Where thou seest some noble intellect, studious of Nature, intent upon Truth, yet ignoring the fact that all animal life has a mind and Man alone on the earth ever asked, and has asked, from the hour his step trod the earth, and his eye sought the Heaven, ‘Have I not a soul; can it perish?’—there, such aids to the soul, in the innermost vision vouchsafed to the mind, thou mayst lawfully use. But the treasures contained in this casket are like all which a mortal can win from the mines he explores,—good or ill in their uses as they pass to the hands of the good or the evil. Thou wilt never confide them but to those who will not abuse! and even then, thou art an adept too versed in the mysteries of Nature not to discriminate between the powers that may serve the good to good ends, and the powers that may tempt the good—where less wise than experience has made thee and me—to the ends that are evil; and not even to thy friend the most virtuous—if less proof against passion than thou and I have become—wilt thou confide such contents of the casket as may work on the fancy, to deafen the conscience and imperil the soul.”
“Go to Damascus. The plague has shown up in that city. Go there to heal and save. This box holds the most effective antidotes to the poison of the plague. It doesn’t contain a single drop of that essence, pure and concentrated, which tempts one to cling to life in the body. I would never curse my friend with such a sorrowful gift. You’ve learned enough of my skills to know how simple remedies can easily restore the health of the moderate and ease their path to the grave. Man should desire nothing more from Nature for the relief and health of the body. This box holds much nobler gifts than anything for the body. Inside are the essences that awaken the dormant senses, those that lie hidden in their cocoon, waiting to unfold into something greater—senses that allow us to see without our eyes and hear without our ears. It contains the connections between the mind of Man and Nature; it holds secrets even more valuable than these—extractions of light that help the Soul to separate itself from the Mind and distinguish spiritual life, just as much from physical life as from intellectual life. Wherever you see a brilliant mind, deeply engaged in Nature and dedicated to Truth, yet failing to acknowledge that all living beings have a mind, and that Man alone on this earth has continually questioned since he first walked the land and searched the skies, ‘Do I not have a soul? Can it perish?’—there, such aids to the soul, in the innermost vision granted to the mind, you may use wisely. But the treasures in this box are like everything a person can extract from the mines they explore—good or bad based on how they are used by good or evil people. You must only share them with those who won’t misuse them! And even then, you know enough about Nature’s mysteries to discern between the powers that serve good purposes and the ones that may tempt the good—where less wisdom than experience has taught you and me—to ends that are harmful; and you should not trust even your most virtuous friend—if they are less resilient against passion than you and I have become—with the contents of the box that might stir the imagination, dull the conscience, and endanger the soul.”
Sir Philip took the casket, and with it directions for use, which he did not detail. He then spoke to Haroun about Louis Grayle, who had inspired him with a mingled sentiment of admiration and abhorrence, of pity and terror. And Haroun answered thus, repeating the words ascribed to him, so far as I can trust, in regard to them—as to all else in this marvellous narrative—to a memory habitually tenacious even in ordinary matters, and strained to the utmost extent of its power, by the strangeness of the ideas presented to it, and the intensity of my personal interest in whatever admitted a ray into that cloud which, gathering fast over my reason, now threatened storm to my affections,—
Sir Philip took the casket along with instructions for its use, which he didn’t go into detail about. He then talked to Haroun about Louis Grayle, who made him feel a mix of admiration and disgust, pity and fear. Haroun replied, repeating the words attributed to him, as far as I can recall, regarding them—like everything else in this incredible story—based on a memory that’s usually sharp even in everyday matters, and challenged to its limits by the strange ideas being presented and my intense personal interest in anything that offered a glimpse into the confusion gathering over my mind, which now threatened to disturb my feelings.
“When the mortal deliberately allies himself to the spirits of evil, he surrenders the citadel of his being to the guard of its enemies; and those who look from without can only dimly guess what passes within the precincts abandoned to Powers whose very nature we shrink to contemplate, lest our mere gaze should invite them. This man, whom thou pitiest, is not yet everlastingly consigned to the fiends, because his soul still struggles against them. His life has been one long war between his intellect, which is mighty, and his spirit, which is feeble. The intellect, armed and winged by the passions, has besieged and oppressed the soul; but the soul has never ceased to repine and to repent. And at moments it has gained its inherent ascendancy, persuaded revenge to drop the prey it had seized, turned the mind astray from hatred and wrath into unwonted paths of charity and love. In the long desert of guilt, there have been green spots and fountains of good. The fiends have occupied the intellect which invoked them, but they have never yet thoroughly mastered the soul which their presence appalls. In the struggle that now passes within that breast, amidst the flickers of waning mortality, only Allah, whose eye never slumbers, can aid.”
“When a person intentionally aligns themselves with evil spirits, they give up control of their inner self to their enemies. Those on the outside can only vaguely sense what happens within those areas left vulnerable to forces we are afraid to even think about, believing that just looking could invite them in. This man, whom you feel sorry for, is not eternally lost to the demons because his soul continues to fight against them. His life has been a long battle between his powerful intellect and his weak spirit. The intellect, fueled by passion, has attacked and weighed down the soul; yet the soul has never stopped longing and seeking forgiveness. Occasionally, it has managed to reclaim its strength, convincing revenge to release its hold, redirecting the mind from hatred and anger to unexpected paths of kindness and love. Amidst the long stretch of guilt, there have been moments of goodness and refreshment. The demons have taken over the intellect that summoned them, but they have never fully conquered the soul, which is horrified by their presence. In the ongoing struggle within that heart, as the flickers of life fade, only Allah, whose watchful eye never sleeps, can provide help.”
Haroun then continued, in words yet more strange and yet more deeply graved in my memory,—
Haroun then went on, with words that were even more unusual and even more firmly etched in my mind,—
“There have been men (thou mayst have known such), who, after an illness in which life itself seemed suspended, have arisen, as out of a sleep, with characters wholly changed. Before, perhaps, gentle and good and truthful, they now become bitter, malignant, and false. To the persons and the things they had before loved, they evince repugnance and loathing. Sometimes this change is so marked and irrational that their kindred ascribe it to madness,—not the madness which affects them in the ordinary business of life, but that which turns into harshness and discord the moral harmony that results from natures whole and complete. But there are dervishes who hold that in that illness, which had for its time the likeness of death, the soul itself has passed away, and an evil genius has fixed itself into the body and the brain, thus left void of their former tenant, and animates them in the unaccountable change from the past to the present existence. Such mysteries have formed no part of my study, and I tell you the conjecture received in the East without hazarding a comment whether of incredulity or belief. But if, in this war between the mind which the fiends have seized, and the soul which implores refuge of Allah; if, while the mind of yon traveller now covets life lengthened on earth for the enjoyments it had perverted its faculties to seek and to find in sin, and covets so eagerly that it would shrink from no crime and revolt from no fiend that could promise the gift, the soul shudderingly implores to be saved from new guilt, and would rather abide by the judgment of Allah on the sins that have darkened it than pass forever irredeemably away to the demons,—if this be so, what if the soul’s petition be heard; what if it rise from the ruins around it; what if the ruins be left to the witchcraft that seeks to rebuild them? There, if demons might enter, that which they sought as their prize has escaped them; that which they find would mock them by its own incompleteness even in evil. In vain might animal life the most perfect be given to the machine of the flesh; in vain might the mind, freed from the check of the soul, be left to roam at will through a brain stored with memories of knowledge and skilled in the command of its faculties; in vain, in addition to all that body and brain bestow on the normal condition of man, might unhallowed reminiscences gather all the arts and the charms of the sorcery by which the fiends tempted the soul, before it fled, through the passions of flesh and the cravings of mind: the Thing, thus devoid of a soul, would be an instrument of evil, doubtless,—but an instrument that of itself could not design, invent, and complete. The demons themselves could have no permanent hold on the perishable materials. They might enter it for some gloomy end which Allah permits in his inscrutable wisdom; but they could leave it no trace when they pass from it, because there is no conscience where soul is wanting. The human animal without soul, but otherwise made felicitously perfect in its mere vital organization, might ravage and destroy, as the tiger and the serpent may destroy and ravage, and, the moment after, would sport in the sunlight harmless and rejoicing, because, like the serpent and the tiger, it is incapable of remorse.”
“There have been men (you may have known some) who, after an illness where life itself seemed suspended, have risen, as if from a sleep, with their personalities completely changed. They were once gentle, kind, and honest, but have now become bitter, malicious, and deceitful. They show disgust and hatred for the people and things they once loved. Sometimes this change is so pronounced and irrational that their relatives attribute it to madness—not the sort of madness that affects them in daily life, but one that distorts the moral harmony created by a complete and whole nature. There are spiritual practitioners who believe that during that illness, which resembled death, the soul itself has departed, and an evil spirit has taken residence in the body and mind, now vacant of their former occupant, animating them in the mysterious transformation from past to present existence. Such mysteries are not part of my study, and I share the widespread belief in the East without commenting on whether I find it credible or not. But if, in this battle between the mind now claimed by demons and the soul that seeks refuge in God; if, while the mind of this traveler longs for a longer life on earth to indulge in pleasures it has twisted its faculties to pursue through sin, and desires so intensely that it would stoop to any crime and align with any evil that might promise that gift, while the soul desperately pleads to be saved from further wrongdoing and would prefer to face God's judgment on the sins that have corrupted it rather than risk being forever lost to demons—if this is the case, what if the soul’s plea is heard; what if it rises from the ruins surrounding it; what if the ruins are left to the dark forces attempting to rebuild them? If demons entered, what they sought as their prize would have eluded them; what they find would mock them with its own incompleteness, even in evil. It would be in vain to grant the most perfect animal life to the fleshly machine; in vain to allow the mind, unhindered by the soul, to roam freely through a brain filled with knowledge and skilled in commanding its faculties; in vain, on top of all that body and brain confer on humanity's normal state, would forbidden memories gather the arts and allurements of the sorcery through which the demons tempted the soul, before it fled through earthly desires and mental cravings: the being, devoid of a soul, would certainly act as an instrument of evil—but one that could not itself plan, invent, or complete. The demons themselves would have no lasting grasp on the perishable matter. They might inhabit it for some grim purpose allowed by God's inscrutable wisdom; but they could leave no mark behind when they depart because there is no conscience in the absence of a soul. The human creature without a soul, yet otherwise perfectly designed in its mere vital organization, might ravage and destroy, just like a tiger or a serpent, and moments later revel in the sunlight, harmless and joyous, because, like the tiger and the serpent, it would be incapable of remorse.”
“Why startle my wonder,” said Derval, “with so fantastic an image?”
“Why shock my imagination,” said Derval, “with such a bizarre image?”
“Because, possibly, the image may come into palpable form! I know, while I speak to thee, that this miserable man is calling to his aid the evil sorcery over which he boasts his control. To gain the end he desires, he must pass through a crime. Sorcery whispers to him how to pass through it, secure from the detection of man. The soul resists, but in resisting, is weak against the tyranny of the mind to which it has submitted so long. Question me no more. But if I vanish from thine eyes, if thou hear that the death which, to my sorrow and in my foolishness I have failed to recognize as the merciful minister of Heaven, has removed me at last from the earth, believe that the pale Visitant was welcome, and that I humbly accept as a blessed release the lot of our common humanity.”
“Because, possibly, the image might take a real form! I know, as I talk to you, that this miserable man is calling on his evil magic that he claims to control. To achieve what he wants, he has to commit a crime. The magic whispers to him how to do it without getting caught by anyone. The soul fights back, but in resisting, it is weak against the control of the mind it has submitted to for so long. Don’t question me anymore. But if I disappear from your sight, if you hear that the death which, to my regret and in my foolishness, I have failed to see as the kind servant of Heaven, has finally taken me from this world, know that the pale Visitor was welcome, and that I humbly accept this release as a blessing from our shared humanity.”
Sir Philip went to Damascus. There he found the pestilence raging, there he devoted himself to the cure of the afflicted; in no single instance, so at least he declared, did the antidotes stored in the casket fail in their effect. The pestilence had passed, his medicaments were exhausted, when the news reached him that Haroun was no more. The Sage had been found, one morning, lifeless in his solitary home, and, according to popular rumour, marks on his throat betrayed the murderous hand of the strangler. Simultaneously, Louis Grayle had disappeared from the city, and was supposed to have shared the fate of Haroun, and been secretly buried by the assassins who had deprived him of life. Sir Philip hastened to Aleppo. There he ascertained that on the night in which Haroun died, Grayle did not disappear alone; with him were also missing two of his numerous suite,—the one, an Arab woman, named Ayesha, who had for some years been his constant companion, his pupil and associate in the mystic practices to which his intellect had been debased, and who was said to have acquired a singular influence over him, partly by her beauty and partly by the tenderness with which she had nursed him through his long decline; the other, an Indian, specially assigned to her service, of whom all the wild retainers of Grayle spoke with detestation and terror. He was believed by them to belong to that murderous sect of fanatics whose existence as a community has only recently been made known to Europe, and who strangle their unsuspecting victim in the firm belief that they thereby propitiate the favour of the goddess they serve. The current opinion at Aleppo was, that if those two persons had conspired to murder Haroun, perhaps for the sake of the treasures he was said to possess, it was still more certain that they had made away with their own English lord, whether for the sake of the jewels he wore about him, or for the sake of treasures less doubtful than those imputed to Haroun, and of which the hiding-place would be to them much better known.
Sir Philip went to Damascus. There he found the plague raging and dedicated himself to curing the afflicted; he claimed that not a single time did the remedies stored in the casket fail. The plague passed, and his supplies were exhausted when he heard the news that Haroun was dead. The Sage had been found one morning, lifeless in his solitary home, and according to popular rumor, marks on his throat revealed the deadly hand of a strangler. At the same time, Louis Grayle had disappeared from the city and was believed to have met the same fate as Haroun, secretly buried by the assassins who took his life. Sir Philip hurried to Aleppo. There, he learned that on the night Haroun died, Grayle didn't disappear alone; two members of his entourage were also missing—an Arab woman named Ayesha, who had been his constant companion, pupil, and partner in the mystic practices that had consumed his intellect. She was said to have gained a unique influence over him, partly due to her beauty and partly because of the care she provided during his long decline. The other missing person was an Indian specifically assigned to her service, whom all of Grayle's wild followers spoke of with disdain and fear. They believed he belonged to a murderous sect of fanatics, recently exposed to Europe, who strangle their unsuspecting victims, believing they earn the favor of the goddess they serve. The prevailing opinion in Aleppo was that if those two had conspired to murder Haroun, possibly for his rumored treasures, it was even more likely they had also eliminated their own English lord, whether for the jewels he wore or for treasures more certain than those attributed to Haroun, the hiding place of which they would know much better.
“I did not share that opinion,” wrote the narrator, “for I assured myself that Ayesha sincerely loved her awful master; and that love need excite no wonder, for Louis Grayle was one whom if a woman, and especially a woman of the East, had once loved, before old age and infirmity fell on him, she would love and cherish still more devotedly when it became her task to protect the being who, in his day of power and command, had exalted his slave into the rank of his pupil and companion. And the Indian whom Grayle had assigned to her service was allowed to have that brute kind of fidelity which, though it recoils from no crime for a master, refuses all crime against him. “I came to the conclusion that Haroun had been murdered by order of Louis Grayle,—for the sake of the elixir of life,—murdered by Juma the Strangler; and that Grayle himself had been aided in his flight from Aleppo, and tended, through the effects of the life-giving drug thus murderously obtained, by the womanly love of the Arab woman Ayesha. These convictions (since I could not, without being ridiculed as the wildest of dupes, even hint at the vital elixir) I failed to impress on the Eastern officials, or even on a countryman of my own whom I chanced to find at Aleppo. They only arrived at what seemed the common-sense verdict,—namely, that Haroun might have been strangled, or might have died in a fit (the body, little examined, was buried long before I came to Aleppo); and that Louis Grayle was murdered by his own treacherous dependents. But all trace of the fugitives was lost. “And now,” wrote Sir Philip, “I will state by what means I discovered that Louis Grayle still lived,—changed from age into youth; a new form, a new being; realizing, I verily believe, the image which Haroun’s words had raised up, in what then seemed to me the metaphysics of fantasy,—-criminal, without consciousness of crime; the dreadest of the mere animal race; an incarnation of the blind powers of Nature,—beautiful and joyous, wanton and terrible and destroying! Such as ancient myths have personified in the idols of Oriental creeds; such as Nature, of herself, might form man in her moments of favour, if man were wholly the animal, and spirit were no longer the essential distinction between himself and the races to which by superior formation and subtler perceptions he would still be the king. “But this being is yet more dire and portentous than the mere animal man, for in him are not only the fragmentary memories of a pristine intelligence which no mind, unaided by the presence of soul, could have originally compassed, but amidst that intelligence are the secrets of the magic which is learned through the agencies of spirits the most hostile to our race. And who shall say whether the fiends do not enter at their will this void and deserted temple whence the soul has departed, and use as their tools, passive and unconscious, all the faculties which, skilful in sorcery, still place a mind at the control of their malice? “It was in the interest excited in me by the strange and terrible fate that befell an Armenian family with which I was slightly acquainted, that I first traced—in the creature I am now about to describe, and whose course I devote myself to watch, and trust to bring to a close—the murderer of Haroun for the sake of the elixir of youth. “In this Armenian family there were three daughters; one of them—”
“I didn’t share that opinion,” the narrator wrote, “because I believed that Ayesha truly loved her terrible master; and that love is not surprising, as Louis Grayle was someone who, if a woman—especially a woman from the East—had loved him when he was young and strong, would love and cherish him even more when it became her duty to protect the man who, in his prime, had elevated his servant to the status of his student and companion. The Indian that Grayle had assigned to her service was allowed to have that brutal kind of loyalty which, while it would commit any crime for a master, would refuse to harm him. “I concluded that Haroun had been murdered on Louis Grayle’s orders—for the sake of the elixir of life—killed by Juma the Strangler; and that Grayle himself had been helped to escape from Aleppo and cared for, thanks to the life-giving drug obtained through that murder, by the love of the Arab woman Ayesha. These beliefs (since I couldn’t even hint at the vital elixir without being ridiculed as the biggest fool) I failed to impress on the Eastern officials or even on a fellow countryman I happened to meet in Aleppo. They only reached what seemed like the common-sense conclusion—that Haroun might have been strangled or might have died from a seizure (the body, barely examined, was buried long before I arrived in Aleppo); and that Louis Grayle was killed by his treacherous followers. But all traces of the fugitives were lost. “And now,” Sir Philip wrote, “I will explain how I discovered that Louis Grayle was still alive—transformed from old age into youth; a new form, a new being; embodying, I truly believe, the image that Haroun’s words had conjured up, which then seemed to me the metaphysics of fantasy—criminal, without awareness of crime; the most fearful of the mere animal race; a manifestation of the blind forces of Nature—beautiful and joyful, wanton and terrible and destructive! Just like how ancient myths have depicted in the idols of Eastern religions; just like how Nature might create man in her moments of favor if man were simply an animal, and spirit was no longer the key distinction between him and the races to which, by superior formation and subtler perceptions, he would still be the king. “But this being is even more dreadful and ominous than just the mere animal man, because within him are not only the fragmented memories of a primal intelligence that no mind, without the help of a soul, could have originally grasped, but among those memories are the secrets of the magic learned through forces most hostile to our race. And who can say whether the demons do not enter at will into this empty and abandoned vessel from which the soul has departed, using as their instruments, passive and unaware, all the faculties that, skilled in sorcery, still put a mind at the mercy of their wickedness? “It was due to the interest stirred in me by the strange and terrible fate that befell an Armenian family I was slightly acquainted with that I first traced—in the creature I am now about to describe, whose actions I dedicate myself to watch and hope to put an end to—the murderer of Haroun for the sake of the elixir of youth. “In this Armenian family, there were three daughters; one of them—”
I had just read thus far when a dim shadow fell over the page, and a cold air seemed to breathe on me,—cold, so cold, that my blood halted in my veins as if suddenly frozen! Involuntarily I started, and looked up, sure that some ghastly presence was in the room. And then, on the opposite side of the wall, I beheld an unsubstantial likeness of a human form. Shadow I call it, but the word is not strictly correct, for it was luminous, though with a pale shine. In some exhibition in London there is shown a curious instance of optical illusion; at the end of a corridor you see, apparently in strong light, a human skull. You are convinced it is there as you approach; it is, however, only a reflection from a skull at a distance. The image before me was less vivid, less seemingly prominent than is the illusion I speak of. I was not deceived. I felt it was a spectrum, a phantasm; but I felt no less surely that it was a reflection from an animate form,—the form and face of Margrave; it was there, distinct, unmistakable. Conceiving that he himself must be behind me, I sought to rise, to turn round, to examine. I could not move: limb and muscle were overmastered by some incomprehensible spell. Gradually my senses forsook me; I became unconscious as well as motionless. When I recovered, I heard the clock strike three. I must have been nearly two hours insensible! The candles before me were burning low. My eyes rested on the table; the dead man’s manuscript was gone!
I had just read this far when a dim shadow fell over the page, and a cold air seemed to breathe on me—cold, so cold, that my blood felt like it had stopped in my veins as if frozen! Involuntarily, I jumped and looked up, convinced that some horrific presence was in the room. And then, on the opposite wall, I saw an insubstantial shape that looked like a human form. I call it a shadow, but that’s not entirely accurate, because it was luminous, though with a pale glow. In a certain exhibition in London, there’s a fascinating optical illusion; at the end of a hallway, you see what looks like a human skull in bright light. You’re convinced it’s there as you get closer, but it’s just a reflection from a skull in the distance. The image in front of me was less vivid, less distinctly prominent than that illusion I just mentioned. I wasn’t fooled. I knew it was a ghostly image, a phantom; but I also felt, without a doubt, that it was reflecting an actual living form—the form and face of Margrave; it was there, clear and unmistakable. Thinking that he must be behind me, I tried to stand up, to turn around, to look. I couldn’t move: my limbs and muscles were completely overpowered by some baffling spell. Gradually, my senses left me; I became unconscious as well as motionless. When I came to, I heard the clock strike three. I must have been out of it for almost two hours! The candles in front of me were burning low. My gaze dropped to the table; the dead man’s manuscript was gone!
(1) The reader will here observe a discrepancy between Mrs. Poyntz’s account and Sir Philip Derval’s narrative. According to the former, Louis Grayle was tried in his absence from England, and sentenced to three years’ imprisonment, which his flight enabled him to evade. According to the latter, Louis Grayle stood his trial, and obtained an acquittal. Sir Philip’s account must, at least, be nearer the truth than the lady’s, because Louis Grayle could not, according to English law, have been tried on a capital charge without being present in court. Mrs. Poyntz tells her story as a woman generally does tell a story,—sure to make a mistake when she touches on a question of law; and—unconsciously perhaps to herself—the woman of the World warps the facts in her narrative so as to save the personal dignity of the hero, who has captivated her interest, not from the moral odium of a great crime, but the debasing position of a prisoner at the bar. Allen Fenwick, no doubt, purposely omits to notice the discrepancy between these two statements, or to animadvert on the mistake which, in the eyes of a lawyer, would discredit Mrs. Poyntz’s. It is consistent with some of the objects for which Allen Fenwick makes public his Strange Story, to invite the reader to draw his own inferences from the contradictions by which, even in the most commonplace matters (and how much more in any tale of wonder!), a fact stated by one person is made to differ from the same fact stated by another. The rapidity with which a truth becomes transformed into fable, when it is once sent on its travels from lip to lip, is illustrated by an amusement at this moment in fashion. The amusement is this: In a party of eight or ten persons, let one whisper to another an account of some supposed transaction, or a piece of invented gossip relating to absent persons, dead or alive; let the person, who thus first hears the story, proceed to whisper it, as exactly as he can remember what he has just heard, to the next; the next does the same to his neighbour, and so on, till the tale has run the round of the party. Each narrator, as soon as he has whispered his version of the tale, writes down what he has whispered. And though, in this game, no one has had any interest to misrepresent, but, on the contrary, each for his own credit’s sake strives to repeat what he has heard as faithfully as he can, it will be almost invariably found that the story told by the first person has received the most material alterations before it has reached the eighth or the tenth. Sometimes the most important feature of the whole narrative is altogether omitted; sometimes a feature altogether new and preposterously absurd has been added. At the close of the experiment one is tempted to exclaim, “How, after this, can any of those portions of history which the chronicler took from hearsay be believed?” But, above all, does not every anecdote of scandal which has passed, not through ten lips, but perhaps through ten thousand, before it has reached us, become quite as perplexing to him who would get at the truth, as the marvels he recounts are to the bewildered reason of Fenwick the Sceptic?
(1) The reader will notice a difference between Mrs. Poyntz’s account and Sir Philip Derval’s story. According to Mrs. Poyntz, Louis Grayle was tried in his absence from England and sentenced to three years in prison, which he escaped due to his flight. On the other hand, Sir Philip claims that Louis Grayle was present for his trial and was acquitted. Sir Philip's version must be closer to the truth than Mrs. Poyntz's because, under English law, Louis Grayle couldn’t have been tried for a serious charge without being in court. Mrs. Poyntz tells her story in a way that many women do, likely making an error when discussing legal matters; and—perhaps without realizing it—the worldly woman twists the facts in her story to protect the dignity of the hero, who has intrigued her, not from the moral shame of a serious crime, but from the degrading position of being a defendant. Allen Fenwick likely deliberately ignores the mismatch between these two accounts, or the error that, in a lawyer's view, would undermine Mrs. Poyntz’s credibility. One of Allen Fenwick’s aims in making his Strange Story public is to encourage the reader to draw their own conclusions from the contradictions that arise, even in the most ordinary situations (and much more in any tale of wonder!), where the same fact stated by different people is likely to vary. The speed with which a fact turns into a fable once it starts moving from person to person is demonstrated by a currently popular game. The game works like this: In a group of eight or ten people, one person whispers to another some supposed event or a piece of made-up gossip about someone who isn't there, alive or dead; then the person who hears it whispers what they remember to the next person, and this continues until the story has gone around the whole group. After each person has shared their version of the story, they write down what they whispered. Even though no one has any reason to twist the story, and each person tries their best to repeat exactly what they heard, by the time the tale gets to the eighth or tenth person, it will almost always have changed significantly. Sometimes, the most critical part of the whole narrative is completely left out; other times, something entirely new and absurd gets added. By the end of the experiment, one might feel compelled to say, “How can we trust any of those historical accounts that were based on hearsay after seeing this?” But even more so, doesn’t every gossip anecdote that has gone through not just ten mouths but perhaps ten thousand, before reaching us, become just as confusing for someone seeking the truth as the marvels described are for the bewildered mind of Fenwick the Sceptic?
CHAPTER XL.
The dead man’s manuscript was gone. But how? A phantom might delude my eye, a human will, though exerted at a distance, might, if the tales of mesmerism be true, deprive me of movement and of consciousness; but neither phantom nor mesmeric will could surely remove from the table before me the material substance of the book that had vanished! Was I to seek explanation in the arts of sorcery ascribed to Louis Grayle in the narrative? I would not pursue that conjecture. Against it my reason rose up half alarmed, half disdainful. Some one must have entered the room, some one have removed the manuscript. I looked round. The windows were closed, the curtains partly drawn over the shutters, as they were before my consciousness had left me: all seemed undisturbed. Snatching up one of the candles, fast dying out, I went into the adjoining library, the desolate state-rooms, into the entrance-hall, and examined the outer door, barred and locked! The robber had left no vestige of his stealthy presence.
The dead man’s manuscript was gone. But how? A ghost might trick my eyes, and a person's will, even from afar, might—if the stories about mesmerism are true—disable me and leave me unaware; but neither a ghost nor a mesmeric force could possibly remove the actual book that had disappeared from the table in front of me! Should I look for an explanation in the sorcery attributed to Louis Grayle in the story? I wouldn’t go down that road. My rational mind protested, feeling both anxious and scornful. Someone must have entered the room and taken the manuscript. I looked around. The windows were closed, and the curtains were partly drawn over the shutters, just as they were before I lost awareness: everything seemed untouched. Grabbing one of the flickering candles, I went into the next library, the empty state rooms, and the entrance hall, checking the outer door, which was barred and locked! The thief left no trace of their quiet presence.
I resolved to go at once to Strahan’s room and tell him of the loss sustained. A deposit had been confided to me, and I felt as if there were a slur on my honour every moment in which I kept its abstraction concealed from him to whom I was responsible for the trust. I hastily ascended the great staircase, grim with faded portraits, and found myself in a long corridor opening on my own bedroom; no doubt also on Strahan’s. Which was his? I knew not. I opened rapidly door after door, peered into empty chambers, went blundering on, when to the right, down a narrow passage. I recognized the signs of my host’s whereabouts,—signs familiarly commonplace and vulgar; signs by which the inmate of any chamber in lodging-house or inn makes himself known,—a chair before a doorway, clothes negligently thrown on it, beside it a pair of shoes. And so ludicrous did such testimony of common every-day life, of the habits which Strahan would necessarily have contracted in his desultory unluxurious bachelor’s existence,—so ludicrous, I say, did these homely details seem to me, so grotesquely at variance with the wonders of which I had been reading, with the wonders yet more incredible of which I myself had been witness and victim, that as I turned down the passage, I heard my own unconscious half-hysterical laugh; and, startled by the sound of that laugh as if it came from some one else, I paused, my hand on the door, and asked myself: “Do I dream? Am I awake? And if awake what am I to say to the commonplace mortal I am about to rouse? Speak to him of a phantom! Speak to him of some weird spell over this strong frame! Speak to him of a mystic trance in which has been stolen what he confided to me, without my knowledge! What will he say? What should I have said a few days ago to any man who told such a tale to me?” I did not wait to resolve these questions. I entered the room. There was Strahan sound asleep on his bed. I shook him roughly. He started up, rubbed his eyes. “You, Allen,—you! What the deuce?—what ‘s the matter?”
I decided to go straight to Strahan’s room and tell him about the loss. I had been trusted with a deposit, and it felt like a stain on my honor to keep its theft a secret from the person I was responsible to. I quickly climbed the grand staircase, lined with faded portraits, and found myself in a long corridor that led to my own bedroom, which likely connected to Strahan’s. Which room was his? I had no idea. I opened door after door in a hurry, peeking into empty rooms, stumbling along, when I spotted, to the right, down a narrow hallway, clear signs of my host’s presence—signs that were all too familiar and ordinary; the kind of stuff any tenant in a boarding house or inn would leave behind—a chair in front of a doorway, clothes carelessly tossed over it, and a pair of shoes beside it. It struck me as so ridiculous, this evidence of everyday life and the habits Strahan must have picked up in his casual, unrefined bachelor lifestyle—it seemed so absurd and out of place compared to the amazing things I had been reading about and the even crazier experiences I had endured. As I walked down the hallway, I let out an unconscious, half-hysterical laugh. Startled by the sound, as if it belonged to someone else, I paused, my hand on the door, and thought to myself: “Am I dreaming? Am I awake? And if I am awake, what am I going to say to the everyday guy I’m about to wake up? Tell him about a ghost? Talk to him about some weird spell over this strong body? Describe this mystical trance where what he trusted me with has been taken without my knowledge? What will he think? What would I have said a few days ago to anyone who shared such a tale with me?” I didn’t take the time to sort through these thoughts. I entered the room. Strahan was sound asleep in his bed. I shook him awake. He jumped up, rubbing his eyes. “You, Allen—you! What the heck? What’s going on?”
“Strahan, I have been robbed!—robbed of the manuscript you lent me. I could not rest till I had told you.”
“Strahan, I've been robbed!—robbed of the manuscript you lent me. I couldn't relax until I told you.”
“Robbed, robbed! Are you serious?”
"Robbed, really? Are you serious?"
By this time Strahan had thrown off the bed-clothes, and sat upright, staring at me.
By this point, Strahan had kicked off the blankets and sat up, staring at me.
And then those questions which my mind had suggested while I was standing at his door repeated themselves with double force. Tell this man, this unimaginative, hard-headed, raw-boned, sandy-haired North countryman,—tell this man a story which the most credulous school-girl would have rejected as a fable! Impossible!
And then the questions that popped into my mind while I was standing at his door came back even stronger. How do you tell this guy, this practical, tough, no-nonsense, sandy-haired guy from the North, a story that even the most gullible schoolgirl would dismiss as a fairy tale? No way!
“I fell asleep,” said I, colouring and stammering, for the slightest deviation from truth was painful to me, “and-and—when I awoke—the manuscript was gone. Some one must have entered and committed the theft—”
“I fell asleep,” I said, blushing and stumbling over my words, because even the smallest lie felt painful to me. “And when I woke up—the manuscript was gone. Someone must have come in and taken it—”
“Some one entered the house at this hour of the night and then only stolen a manuscript which could be of no value to him! Absurd! If thieves have come in it must be for other objects,—for plate, for money. I will dress; we will see!”
“Someone entered the house at this hour of the night and only stole a manuscript that would be of no value to him! Ridiculous! If thieves came in, it must be for other things—for silver, for money. I'll get dressed; we’ll find out!”
Strahan hurried on his clothes, muttering to himself and avoiding my eye. He was embarrassed. He did not like to say to an old friend what was on his mind; but I saw at once that he suspected I had resolved to deprive him of the manuscript, and had invented a wild tale in order to conceal my own dishonesty.
Strahan quickly put on his clothes, mumbling to himself and not making eye contact with me. He felt awkward. He didn’t want to admit to an old friend what he was really thinking; but I immediately noticed that he thought I planned to take the manuscript from him and had come up with a crazy excuse to hide my own dishonesty.
Nevertheless, he proceeded to search the house. I followed him in silence, oppressed with my own thoughts, and longing for solitude in my own chamber. We found no one, no trace of any one, nothing to excite suspicion. There were but two female servants sleeping in the house,—the old housekeeper, and a country girl who assisted her. It was not possible to suspect either of these persons; but in the course of our search we opened the doors of their rooms. We saw that they were both in bed, both seemingly asleep: it seemed idle to wake and question them. When the formality of our futile investigation was concluded, Strahan stopped at the door of my bedroom, and for the first time fixing his eyes on me steadily, said,—
Nevertheless, he started searching the house. I followed him in silence, weighed down by my own thoughts, craving solitude in my room. We found no one, no sign of anyone, nothing to raise suspicion. There were only two female servants sleeping in the house—the old housekeeper and a country girl who helped her. It was impossible to suspect either of them, but during our search, we opened the doors to their rooms. We saw that they were both in bed, apparently asleep; it seemed pointless to wake and question them. Once our pointless investigation was over, Strahan stopped at the door of my bedroom and, for the first time, looked at me intently and said,—
“Allen Fenwick, I would have given half the fortune I have come into rather than this had happened. The manuscript, as you know, was bequeathed to me as a sacred trust by a benefactor whose slightest wish it is my duty to observe religiously. If it contained aught valuable to a man of your knowledge and profession, why, you were free to use its contents. Let me hope, Allen, that the book will reappear to-morrow.”
“Allen Fenwick, I would have given up half the fortune I inherited rather than have this happen. The manuscript, as you know, was entrusted to me as a sacred obligation by a benefactor whose smallest wish it is my duty to honor completely. If it had anything valuable for a man of your expertise and profession, you were welcome to use its contents. Let's hope, Allen, that the book will turn up tomorrow.”
He said no more, drew himself away from the hand I involuntarily extended, and walked quickly back towards his own room.
He said nothing more, pulled away from the hand I had subconsciously reached out, and hurried back to his room.
Alone once more, I sank on a seat, buried my face in my hands, and strove in vain to collect into some definite shape my own tumultuous and disordered thoughts. Could I attach serious credit to the marvellous narrative I had read? Were there, indeed, such powers given to man, such influences latent in the calm routine of Nature? I could not believe it; I must have some morbid affection of the brain; I must be under an hallucination. Hallucination? The phantom, yes; the trance, yes. But still, how came the book gone? That, at least, was not hallucination.
Alone again, I sank into a seat, buried my face in my hands, and tried in vain to bring some order to my chaotic and confused thoughts. Could I really believe the incredible story I had just read? Did humans truly possess such powers, such hidden influences in the calm rhythm of Nature? I couldn’t accept it; I must have some sort of mental illness; I must be under an illusion. Illusion? The ghost, yes; the trance, yes. But still, how did the book disappear? That, at least, wasn’t an illusion.
I left my room the next morning with a vague hope that I should find the manuscript somewhere in the study; that, in my own trance, I might have secreted it, as sleep-walkers are said to secrete things, without remembrance of their acts in their waking state.
I left my room the next morning with a glimmer of hope that I would find the manuscript somewhere in the study. Maybe I had hidden it in my daze, like how sleepwalkers are said to stash things without any memory of what they did when they're awake.
I searched minutely in every conceivable place. Strahan found me still employed in that hopeless task. He had breakfasted in his own room, and it was past eleven o’clock when he joined me. His manner was now hard, cold, and distant, and his suspicion so bluntly shown that my distress gave way to resentment.
I searched thoroughly in every possible place. Strahan found me still working on that hopeless task. He had eaten breakfast in his own room, and it was past eleven o'clock when he came to join me. His demeanor was now harsh, cold, and distant, and his suspicion was so obvious that my feelings of distress turned into resentment.
“Is it possible,” I cried indignantly, “that you, who have known me so well, can suspect me of an act so base, and so gratuitously base? Purloin, conceal a book confided to me, with full power to copy from it whatever I might desire, use its contents in any way that might seem to me serviceable to science, or useful to me in my own calling!”
“Is it possible,” I exclaimed angrily, “that you, who know me so well, can suspect me of something so low and completely unnecessary? To steal or hide a book entrusted to me, giving me full permission to copy from it whatever I wanted, to use its contents in any way that I found helpful for science or beneficial for my career!”
“I have not accused you,” answered Strahan, sullenly. “But what are we to say to Mr. Jeeves; to all others who know that this manuscript existed? Will they believe what you tell me?”
“I haven’t accused you,” Strahan replied, gloomily. “But what are we supposed to tell Mr. Jeeves and everyone else who knows this manuscript existed? Will they believe what you say to me?”
“Mr. Jeeves,” I said, “cannot suspect a fellow-townsman, whose character is as high as mine, of untruth and theft. And to whom else have you communicated the facts connected with a memoir and a request of so extraordinary a nature?”
“Mr. Jeeves,” I said, “cannot suspect a fellow townsman like me, whose character is as upright as mine, of lying and stealing. And who else have you shared the details about a memoir and such an unusual request with?”
“To young Margrave; I told you so!”
“To young Margrave; I told you so!”
“True, true. We need not go farther to find the thief. Margrave has been in this house more than once. He knows the position of the rooms. You have named the robber!”
“That's right, that's right. We don’t need to look any further to find the thief. Margrave has been in this house multiple times. He knows the layout of the rooms. You’ve identified the robber!”
“Tut! what on earth could a gay young fellow like Margrave want with a work of such dry and recondite nature as I presume my poor kinsman’s memoir must be?”
“Tut! What on earth could a fun-loving young guy like Margrave want with a piece of writing as dry and complicated as I assume my poor relative’s memoir must be?”
I was about to answer, when the door was abruptly opened, and the servant-girl entered, followed by two men, in whom I recognized the superintendent of the L—— police and the same subordinate who had found me by Sir Philip’s corpse.
I was about to answer when the door swung open suddenly, and the maid came in, followed by two men. I recognized them as the superintendent of the L—— police and the same officer who had found me by Sir Philip's body.
The superintendent came up to me with a grave face, and whispered in my ear. I did not at first comprehend him. “Come with you,” I said, “and to Mr. Vigors, the magistrate? I thought my deposition was closed.”
The superintendent approached me with a serious expression and leaned in to whisper in my ear. I didn’t understand him at first. “You want me to come with you,” I said, “to Mr. Vigors, the magistrate? I thought my statement had been finalized.”
The superintendent shook his head. “I have the authority here, Dr. Fenwick.”
The superintendent shook his head. “I’m the one in charge here, Dr. Fenwick.”
“Well, I will come, of course. Has anything new transpired?”
"Sure, I'll come. Has anything new happened?"
The superintendent turned to the servant-girl, who was standing with gaping mouth and staring eyes.
The superintendent turned to the maid, who was standing there with her mouth open and eyes wide.
“Show us Dr. Fenwick’s room. You had better put up, sir, whatever things you have brought here. I will go upstairs with you,” he whispered again. “Come, Dr. Fenwick, I am in the discharge of my duty.”
“Show us Dr. Fenwick’s room. You should better unpack whatever you’ve brought here, sir. I’ll go upstairs with you,” he whispered again. “Come on, Dr. Fenwick, I’m just doing my job.”
Something in the man’s manner was so sinister and menacing that I felt at once that some new and strange calamity had befallen me. I turned towards Strahan. He was at the threshold, speaking in a low voice to the subordinate policeman, and there was an expression of amazement and horror in his countenance. As I came towards him he darted away without a word.
Something about the way the man acted was so dark and threatening that I instantly felt like something new and strange had happened to me. I looked over at Strahan. He was standing at the doorway, talking quietly to the officer under him, and he looked shocked and horrified. As I approached him, he quickly moved away without saying anything.
I went up the stairs, entered my bedroom, the superintendent close behind me. As I took up mechanically the few things I had brought with me, the police-officer drew them from me with an abruptness that appeared insolent, and deliberately searched the pockets of the coat which I had worn the evening before, then opened the drawers in the room, and even pried into the bed.
I went up the stairs and entered my bedroom, the superintendent right behind me. As I automatically picked up the few things I had brought with me, the police officer pulled them away from me with an abruptness that felt rude, then searched the pockets of the coat I had worn the night before, opened the drawers in the room, and even looked under the bed.
“What do you mean?” I asked haughtily.
“What do you mean?” I asked arrogantly.
“Excuse me, sir. Duty. You are-”
“Excuse me, sir. Duty. You are-”
“Well, I am what?”
"Well, what am I?"
“My prisoner; here is the warrant.”
“My prisoner; here’s the order.”
“Warrant! on what charge?”
"Warrant! What's the charge?"
“The murder of Sir Philip Derval.”
“The murder of Sir Philip Derval.”
“I—I! Murder!” I could say no more.
“I—I! Murder!” I couldn't say anything else.
I must hurry over this awful passage in my marvellous record. It is torture to dwell on the details; and indeed I have so sought to chase them from my recollection, that they only come back to me in hideous fragments, like the incoherent remains of a horrible dream.
I need to rush through this terrible part of my amazing story. It's painful to focus on the details, and I've tried so hard to push them out of my mind that they only return to me in horrifying pieces, like the jumbled memories of a nightmare.
All that I need state is as follows: Early on the very morning on which I had been arrested, a man, a stranger in the town, had privately sought Mr. Vigors, and deposed that on the night of the murder, he had been taking refuge from a sudden storm under shelter of the eaves and buttresses of a wall adjoining an old archway; that he had heard men talking within the archway; had heard one say to the other, “You still bear me a grudge.” The other had replied, “I can forgive you on one condition.” That he then lost much of the conversation that ensued, which was in a lower voice; but he gathered enough to know that the condition demanded by the one was the possession of a casket which the other carried about with him; that there seemed an altercation on this matter between the two men, which, to judge by the tones of voice, was angry on the part of the man demanding the casket; that, finally, this man said in a loud key, “Do you still refuse?” and on receiving the answer, which the witness did not overhear, exclaimed threateningly, “It is you who will repent,” and then stepped forth from the arch into the street. The rain had then ceased, but by a broad flash of lightning the witness saw distinctly the figure of the person thus quitting the shelter of the arch,—a man of tall stature, powerful frame, erect carriage. A little time afterwards, witness saw a slighter and older man come forth from the arch, whom he could only examine by the flickering ray of the gas-lamp near the wall, the lightning having ceased, but whom he fully believed to be the person he afterwards discovered to be Sir Philip Derval.
All I need to say is this: Early on the very morning I was arrested, a man, a stranger in town, privately approached Mr. Vigors and stated that on the night of the murder, he had taken shelter from a sudden storm under the eaves and buttresses of a wall next to an old archway. He heard men talking inside the archway and heard one say to the other, “You still hold a grudge against me.” The other replied, “I can forgive you on one condition.” He lost much of the conversation that followed, as they spoke in lower voices, but he understood enough to know that the condition demanded by one involved a casket that the other man was carrying. There seemed to be an argument over this matter, which, judging by their tones, was angry on the part of the man demanding the casket. Eventually, this man said loudly, “Do you still refuse?” After hearing a reply that the witness couldn’t catch, he exclaimed threateningly, “You will regret this,” and then stepped out of the arch into the street. The rain had stopped, but with a bright flash of lightning, the witness clearly saw the figure of the man leaving the arch—tall, strong, and standing upright. A little while later, he saw a shorter, older man come out of the arch, whom he could only see dimly by the flickering light of the gas lamp near the wall, since the lightning had stopped. He strongly believed that this was the person he later identified as Sir Philip Derval.
He said that he himself had only arrived at the town a few hours before; a stranger to L——, and indeed to England, having come from the United States of America, where he had passed his life from childhood. He had journeyed on foot to L——, in the hope of finding there some distant relatives. He had put up at a small inn, after which he had strolled through the town, when the storm had driven him to seek shelter. He had then failed to find his way back to the inn, and after wandering about in vain, and seeing no one at that late hour of night of whom he could ask the way, he had crept under a portico and slept for two or three hours. Waking towards the dawn, he had then got up, and again sought to find his way to the inn, when he saw, in a narrow street before him, two men, one of whom he recognized as the taller of the two to whose conversation he had listened under the arch; the other he did not recognize at the moment. The taller man seemed angry and agitated, and he heard him say, “The casket; I will have it.” There then seemed to be a struggle between these two persons, when the taller one struck down the shorter, knelt on his breast, and he caught distinctly the gleam of some steel instrument. That he was so frightened that he could not stir from the place, and that though he cried out, he believed his voice was not heard. He then saw the taller man rise, the other resting on the pavement motionless; and a minute or so afterwards beheld policemen coming to the place, on which he, the witness, walked away. He did not know that a murder had been committed; it might be only an assault; it was no business of his, he was a stranger. He thought it best not to interfere, the police having cognizance of the affair. He found out his inn; for the next few days he was absent from L—— in search of his relations, who had left the town, many years ago, to fix their residence in one of the neighbouring villages.
He mentioned that he had only arrived in the town a few hours earlier; a stranger to L——, and indeed to England, having come from the United States, where he had lived since childhood. He had walked to L—— in hopes of finding some distant relatives there. He stayed at a small inn, after which he wandered through the town, when the storm forced him to seek shelter. He then got lost trying to find his way back to the inn, and after wandering around aimlessly, seeing no one that late at night to ask for directions, he ended up crawling under a portico and slept for two or three hours. When he woke up around dawn, he got up to try to find his way back to the inn, and saw, in a narrow street in front of him, two men—one of whom he recognized as the taller man he had listened to under the arch; he didn't recognize the other one at that moment. The taller man looked angry and upset, and he heard him say, “The casket; I will have it.” It seemed like there was a struggle between the two, and the taller man knocked the shorter one down, knelt on his chest, and he distinctly saw the glint of some metal object. He was so scared that he couldn’t move, and even though he shouted, he thought his voice didn’t carry. He then saw the taller man get up, while the other lay motionless on the pavement; a minute or so later, he saw police officers arriving at the scene, which prompted him to walk away. He didn’t know if a murder had taken place; it could have just been an assault; it wasn't his business, as he was a stranger. He figured it was best not to get involved since the police were on it. He found his inn; for the next few days, he was away from L—— looking for his relatives, who had left town many years ago to settle in one of the nearby villages.
He was, however, disappointed; none of these relations now survived. He had now returned to L——, heard of the murder, was in doubt what to do, might get himself into trouble if, a mere stranger, he gave an unsupported testimony. But, on the day before the evidence was volunteered, as he was lounging in the streets, he had seen a gentleman pass by on horseback, in whom he immediately recognized the man who, in his belief, was the murderer of Sir Philip Derval. He inquired of a bystander the name of the gentleman; the answer was “Dr. Fenwick.” That, the rest of the day, he felt much disturbed in his mind, not liking to volunteer such a charge against a man of apparent respectability and station; but that his conscience would not let him sleep that night, and he had resolved at morning to go to the magistrate and make a clean breast of it.
He was, however, disappointed; none of these relationships were still alive. He had returned to L——, heard about the murder, and was unsure of what to do, worried he might get into trouble if, as a mere stranger, he provided uncorroborated testimony. But, the day before he offered any evidence, while he was lounging in the streets, he saw a man on horseback who he immediately recognized as the one he believed was the murderer of Sir Philip Derval. He asked a passerby for the gentleman’s name, and the reply was “Dr. Fenwick.” For the rest of the day, he felt very troubled, hesitant to accuse a man of such apparent respectability and status. However, his conscience wouldn't let him sleep that night, and by morning he decided to go to the magistrate and confess everything.
The story was in itself so improbable that any other magistrate but Mr. Vigors would perhaps have dismissed it in contempt. But Mr. Vigors, already so bitterly prejudiced against me, and not sorry, perhaps, to subject me to the humiliation of so horrible a charge, immediately issued his warrant to search my house. I was absent at Derval Court; the house was searched. In the bureau in my favourite study, which was left unlocked, the steel casket was discovered, and a large case-knife, on the blade of which the stains of blood were still perceptible. On this discovery I was apprehended; and on these evidences, and on the deposition of this vagrant stranger, I was not, indeed, committed to take my trial for murder, but placed in confinement, all bail for my appearance refused, and the examination adjourned to give time for further evidence and inquiries. I had requested the professional aid of Mr. Jeeves. To my surprise and dismay, Mr. Jeeves begged me to excuse him. He said he was pre-engaged by Mr. Strahan to detect and prosecute the murderer of Sir P. Derval, and could not assist one accused of the murder. I gathered from the little he said that Strahan had already been to him that morning and told him of the missing manuscript, that Strahan had ceased to be my friend. I engaged another solicitor, a young man of ability, and who professed personal esteem for me. Mr. Stanton (such was the lawyer’s name) believed in my innocence; but he warned me that appearances were grave, he implored me to be perfectly frank with him. Had I held conversation with Sir Philip under the archway as reported by the witness? Had I used such or similar words? Had the deceased said, “I had a grudge against him”? Had I demanded the casket? Had I threatened Sir Philip that he would repent? And of what,—his refusal?
The story was so unlikely that any other judge but Mr. Vigors would probably have dismissed it outright. But Mr. Vigors, already so biased against me and perhaps secretly pleased to put me through the humiliation of such a terrible accusation, immediately issued a warrant to search my house. I was away at Derval Court, so the house was searched. In the unlocked bureau of my favorite study, they found a steel box and a large knife with bloodstains still visible on the blade. Because of this discovery, I was arrested; although I wasn’t formally charged with murder, I was placed in custody, all bail for my release denied, and the hearing postponed to allow for more evidence and inquiries. I had asked Mr. Jeeves for professional help. To my shock and dismay, Mr. Jeeves asked to be excused. He said he was already committed to helping Mr. Strahan track down and prosecute the murderer of Sir P. Derval and couldn’t assist someone accused of murder. From what little he shared, I gathered that Strahan had spoken to him that morning about the missing manuscript, which meant Strahan was no longer my ally. I hired another lawyer, a young and capable man who claimed to personally respect me. Mr. Stanton (that was the lawyer’s name) believed in my innocence but warned me that the situation looked serious and urged me to be completely honest with him. Had I spoken with Sir Philip under the archway as the witness reported? Had I used those words or something similar? Did the deceased say, “I had a grudge against him”? Did I demand the box? Did I threaten Sir Philip that he would regret it? And what—his refusal?
I felt myself grow pale, as I answered, “Yes; I thought such or similar expressions had occurred in my conversation with the deceased.”
I felt myself go pale as I replied, “Yeah; I thought I had used similar expressions in my conversation with the deceased.”
“What was the reason of the grudge? What was the nature of this casket, that I should so desire its possession?”
“What was the reason for the grudge? What was it about this casket that made me want to have it so badly?”
There, I became terribly embarrassed. What could I say to a keen, sensible, worldly man of law,—tell him of the powder and the fumes, of the scene in the museum, of Sir Philip’s tale, of the implied identity of the youthful Margrave with the aged Grayle, of the elixir of life, and of magic arts? I—I tell such a romance! I,—the noted adversary of all pretended mysticism; I,—I a sceptical practitioner of medicine! Had that manuscript of Sir Philip’s been available,—a substantial record of marvellous events by a man of repute for intellect and learning,—I might perhaps have ventured to startle the solicitor of L——— with my revelations. But the sole proof that all which the solicitor urged me to confide was not a monstrous fiction or an insane delusion had disappeared; and its disappearance was a part of the terrible mystery that enveloped the whole. I answered therefore, as composedly as I could, that “I could have no serious grudge against Sir Philip, whom I had never seen before that evening; that the words which applied to my supposed grudge were lightly said by Sir Philip, in reference to a physiological dispute on matters connected with mesmerical phenomena; that the deceased had declared his casket, which he had shown me at the mayor’s house, contained drugs of great potency in medicine; that I had asked permission to test those drugs myself; and that when I said he would repent of his refusal, I merely meant that he would repent of his reliance on drugs not warranted by the experiments of professional science.”
There, I felt extremely embarrassed. What could I say to a sharp, sensible, worldly lawyer—tell him about the powder and fumes, the scene in the museum, Sir Philip’s story, the hinted connection between the young Margrave and the old Grayle, the elixir of life, and magical arts? Me—telling such a wild tale! I—a well-known opponent of all fake mysticism; I—a skeptical medical practitioner! If Sir Philip’s manuscript had been available—a solid account of amazing events by a respected intellectual—I might have dared to shock the solicitor of L——— with my revelations. But the only proof that everything the solicitor urged me to share wasn’t a crazy fiction or a delusional fantasy was gone; and its disappearance was part of the terrible mystery surrounding everything. So I replied as calmly as I could that “I had no real grudge against Sir Philip, whom I had never seen before that evening; that Sir Philip’s comments about my supposed grudge were made lightly, regarding a scientific debate on mesmerism; that the deceased had claimed his box, which he had shown me at the mayor’s house, contained highly potent medicinal drugs; that I had asked for permission to test those drugs myself; and that when I said he would regret his refusal, I simply meant he would regret trusting drugs not backed by professional scientific experiments.”
My replies seemed to satisfy the lawyer so far, but “how could I account for the casket and the knife being found in my room?”
My answers seemed to satisfy the lawyer so far, but “how can I explain the casket and the knife being found in my room?”
“In no way but this; the window of my study is a door-window opening on the lane, from which any one might enter the room. I was in the habit, not only of going out myself that way, but of admitting through that door any more familiar private acquaintance.”
“In no way but this; the window of my study is a door-window opening onto the lane, through which anyone could enter the room. I was used to not only going out that way myself but also letting in any close friends or familiar acquaintances through that door.”
“Whom, for instance?”
“Who, for instance?”
I hesitated a moment, and then said, with a significance I could not forbear, “Mr. Margrave! He would know the locale perfectly; he would know that the door was rarely bolted from within during the daytime: he could enter at all hours; he could place, or instruct any one to deposit, the knife and casket in my bureau, which he knew I never kept locked; it contained no secrets, no private correspondence,—chiefly surgical implements, or such things as I might want for professional experiments.”
I paused for a moment and then said, with a meaning I couldn’t hold back, “Mr. Margrave! He would know the place inside out; he would realize that the door was rarely locked from the inside during the day: he could come in at any time; he could place, or have someone else put, the knife and box in my drawer, which he knew I never locked; it didn’t contain any secrets or personal letters—just surgical tools or other things I might need for my professional experiments.”
“Mr. Margrave! But you cannot suspect him—a lively, charming young man, against whose character not a whisper was ever heard—of connivance with such a charge against you,—a connivance that would implicate him in the murder itself; for if you are accused wrongfully, he who accuses you is either the criminal or the criminal’s accomplice, his instigator or his tool.”
“Mr. Margrave! But you can’t actually suspect him—a lively, charming young man, whose reputation has never been questioned—of being involved in such an accusation against you,—an involvement that would connect him to the murder itself; because if you’re being wrongly accused, then the person accusing you is either the criminal or their accomplice, their instigator or their pawn.”
“Mr. Stanton,” I said firmly, after a moment’s pause, “I do suspect Mr. Margrave of a hand in this crime. Sir Philip, on seeing him at the mayor’s house, expressed a strong abhorrence of him, more than hinted at crimes he had committed, appointed me to come to Derval Court the day after that on which the murder was committed. Sir Philip had known something of this Margrave in the East; Margrave might dread exposure, revelations—of what I know not; but, strange as it may seem to you, it is my conviction that this young man, apparently so gay and so thoughtless, is the real criminal, and in some way which I cannot conjecture has employed this lying vagabond in the fabrication of a charge against myself. Reflect: of Mr. Margrave’s antecedents we know nothing; of them nothing was known even by the young gentleman who first introduced him to the society of this town. If you would serve and save me, it is to that quarter that you will direct your vigilant and unrelaxing researches.”
“Mr. Stanton,” I said firmly after a brief pause, “I suspect Mr. Margrave is involved in this crime. Sir Philip, upon seeing him at the mayor’s house, showed a strong dislike for him and hinted at crimes he had committed. He asked me to come to Derval Court the day after the murder happened. Sir Philip knew something about this Margrave from the East; Margrave might fear being exposed—what exactly, I don’t know. But, as strange as it may sound to you, I truly believe that this young man, who seems so carefree and thoughtless, is the real criminal. In some way I can’t figure out, he has used this deceitful vagabond to frame me. Think about it: we know nothing about Mr. Margrave's background; not even the young man who introduced him to this town's society knew anything about it. If you want to help me and save me, you need to focus your careful and persistent investigation in that direction.”
I had scarcely so said when I repented my candour, for I observed in the face of Mr. Stanton a sudden revulsion of feeling, an utter incredulity of the accusation I had thus hazarded, and for the first time a doubt of my own innocence. The fascination exercised by Margrave was universal; nor was it to be wondered at: for besides the charm of his joyous presence, he seemed so singularly free from even the errors common enough with the young,—so gay and boon a companion, yet a shunner of wine; so dazzling in aspect, so more than beautiful, so courted, so idolized by women, yet no tale of seduction, of profligacy, attached to his name! As to his antecedents, he had so frankly owned himself a natural son, a nobody, a traveller, an idler; his expenses, though lavish, were so unostentatious, so regularly defrayed; he was so wholly the reverse of the character assigned to criminals, that it seemed as absurd to bring a charge of homicide against a butterfly or a goldfinch as against this seemingly innocent and delightful favourite of humanity and nature.
I had barely said that when I regretted my honesty because I saw a sudden change in Mr. Stanton's expression—he was completely incredulous about the accusation I had just made, and for the first time, I started to doubt my own innocence. Margrave seemed to captivate everyone; it was understandable because, aside from the charm of his cheerful presence, he appeared remarkably free from even the typical mistakes that young people often make—he was such a fun and lively companion, yet he avoided alcohol; he was stunning to look at, more than just beautiful, adored and idolized by women, yet there was no story of seduction or scandal linked to his name! As for his background, he had openly acknowledged being a natural son, a nobody, a traveler, and a loafer; his spending, though extravagant, was so understated and always covered; he was the complete opposite of what you’d expect from a criminal, making it seem just as ridiculous to accuse him of murder as it would be to accuse a butterfly or a goldfinch.
However, Mr. Stanton said little or nothing, and shortly afterwards left me, with a dry expression of hope that my innocence would be cleared in spite of evidence that, he was bound to say, was of the most serious character.
However, Mr. Stanton said very little, and soon after left me, with a neutral hope that my innocence would be proven despite the evidence, which he had to admit, was quite serious.
I was exhausted. I fell into a profound sleep early that night; it might be a little after twelve when I woke, and woke as fully, as completely, as much restored to life and consciousness, as it was then my habit to be at the break of day. And so waking, I saw, on the wall opposite my bed, the same luminous phantom I had seen in the wizard’s study at Derval Court. I have read in Scandinavian legends of an apparition called the Scin-Laeca, or shining corpse. It is supposed in the northern superstition, sometimes to haunt sepulchres, sometimes to foretell doom. It is the spectre of a human body seen in a phosphoric light; and so exactly did this phantom correspond to the description of such an apparition in Scandinavian fable that I knew not how to give it a better name than that of Scin-Laeca,—the shining corpse.
I was exhausted. I fell into a deep sleep early that night; it might have been a little after midnight when I woke up, completely restored to life and awareness, just like I usually was at dawn. As I woke, I saw, on the wall opposite my bed, the same glowing phantom I had seen in the wizard’s study at Derval Court. I've read in Scandinavian legends about an apparition called the Scin-Laeca, or shining corpse. In northern superstition, it’s said to sometimes haunt graves or predict doom. It’s the ghost of a human body seen in a glowing light; and this phantom matched the description of such a being in Scandinavian folklore so perfectly that I couldn’t think of a better name for it than Scin-Laeca—the shining corpse.
There it was before me, corpse-like, yet not dead; there, as in the haunted study of the wizard Forman!—the form and the face of Margrave. Constitutionally, my nerves are strong, and my temper hardy, and now I was resolved to battle against any impression which my senses might receive from my own deluding fancies. Things that witnessed for the first time daunt us witnessed for the second time lose their terror. I rose from my bed with a bold aspect, I approached the phantom with a firm step; but when within two paces of it, and my hand outstretched to touch it, my arm became fixed in air, my feet locked to the ground. I did not experience fear; I felt that my heart beat regularly, but an invincible something opposed itself to me. I stood as if turned to stone. And then from the lips of this phantom there came a voice, but a voice which seemed borne from a great distance,—very low, muffled, and yet distinct; I could not even be sure that my ear heard it, or whether the sound was not conveyed to me by an inner sense.
There it was in front of me, looking dead but not actually dead; there, like in the haunted study of the wizard Forman!—the figure and the face of Margrave. Normally, my nerves are strong, and I have a tough temperament, and now I was determined to fight against any impression my senses might get from my own misleading imagination. Things that scare us the first time lose their fear factor the second time around. I got out of bed with a confident look and approached the phantom with a steady stride; but when I was within two steps of it, with my hand reaching out to touch it, my arm froze in midair, and my feet were stuck to the ground. I didn’t feel scared; I noticed my heart was beating normally, but something unyielding held me back. I stood there as if I had turned to stone. Then, from the lips of this phantom, a voice came out, but it sounded like it was coming from far away—very quiet, muffled, and yet clear; I couldn’t even be sure if I actually heard it, or if the sound was conveyed to me through some inner sense.
“I, and I alone, can save and deliver you,” said the voice. “I will do so; and the conditions I ask, in return, are simple and easy.”
“I, and I alone, can save and deliver you,” said the voice. “I will do that; and the terms I ask for in return are simple and straightforward.”
“Fiend or spectre, or mere delusion of my own brain,” cried I, “there can be no compact between thee and me. I despise thy malice, I reject thy services; I accept no conditions to escape from the one or to obtain the other.”
“Whether you’re a monster, a ghost, or just a trick of my mind,” I shouted, “there’s no agreement between us. I scorn your evil, I refuse your help; I’ll accept no terms to get away from one or to gain the other.”
“You may give a different answer when I ask again.”
“You might give a different answer if I ask again.”
The Scin-Laeca slowly waned, and, fading first into a paler shadow, then vanished. I rejoiced at the reply I had given. Two days elapsed before Mr. Stanton again came to me; in the interval the Scin-Laeca did not reappear. I had mustered all my courage, all my common-sense, noted down all the weak points of the false evidence against me, and felt calm and supported by the strength of my innocence.
The Scin-Laeca slowly faded away, first turning into a lighter shadow and then completely disappearing. I felt a sense of triumph at the response I had given. Two days went by before Mr. Stanton came to see me again; during that time, the Scin-Laeca didn’t come back. I had gathered all my courage and common sense, wrote down all the weak points in the false evidence against me, and felt calm and bolstered by the strength of my innocence.
The first few words of the solicitor dashed all my courage to the ground; for I was anxious to hear news of Lilian, anxious to have some message from her that might cheer and strengthen me, and my first question was this,—
The first few words from the lawyer crushed all my courage; I was eager to hear news about Lilian, desperate for some message from her that could lift my spirits and give me strength, and my first question was this,—
“Mr. Stanton, you are aware that I am engaged in marriage to Miss Ashleigh. Your family are not unacquainted with her. What says, what thinks she of this monstrous charge against her betrothed?”
“Mr. Stanton, you know that I’m engaged to Miss Ashleigh. Your family is familiar with her. What does she say, what does she think about this outrageous accusation against her fiancé?”
“I was for two hours at Mrs. Ashleigh’s house last evening,” replied the lawyer; “she was naturally anxious to see me as employed in your defence. Who do you think was there? Who, eager to defend you, to express his persuasion of your innocence, to declare his conviction that the real criminal would be soon discovered,—who but that same Mr. Margrave; whom, pardon me my frankness, you so rashly and groundlessly suspected.”
“I was at Mrs. Ashleigh's house for two hours last night,” replied the lawyer. “She was understandably eager to see me since I’m working on your defense. Guess who was there? Who, wanting to defend you, to share his belief in your innocence, and to assert that the real criminal would be found soon—none other than Mr. Margrave; whom, if I may be blunt, you suspected so rashly and without any basis.”
“Heavens! Do you say that he is received in that house; that he—he is familiarly admitted to her presence?”
“Heavens! Are you saying that he is welcomed in that house; that he—he is casually admitted to see her?”
“My good sir, why these unjust prepossessions against a true friend? It was as your friend that, as soon as the charge against you amazed and shocked the town of L——, Mr. Margrave called on Mrs. Ashleigh, presented to her by Miss Brabazon, and was so cheering and hopeful that—”
“My good sir, why these unfair biases against a true friend? It was as your friend that, as soon as the accusation against you stunned and shocked the town of L——, Mr. Margrave visited Mrs. Ashleigh, introduced to her by Miss Brabazon, and was so encouraging and optimistic that—”
“Enough!” I exclaimed,—“enough!”
"That's enough!" I exclaimed—"enough!"
I paced the room in a state of excitement and rage, which the lawyer in vain endeavoured to calm, until at length I halted abruptly: “Well, and you saw Miss Ashleigh? What message does she send to me—her betrothed?”
I walked back and forth in the room, feeling a mix of excitement and anger that the lawyer tried unsuccessfully to calm down. Finally, I stopped suddenly and said, “So, did you see Miss Ashleigh? What message does she have for me—her fiancé?”
Mr. Stanton looked confused. “Message! Consider, sir, Miss Ashleigh’s situation—the delicacy—and—and—”
Mr. Stanton looked confused. “Message! Think about it, sir, Miss Ashleigh’s situation—the sensitivity—and—and—”
“I understand, no message, no word, from a young lady so respectable to a man accused of murder.”
“I get it, no message, no communication, from a young woman so respected to a man accused of murder.”
Mr. Stanton was silent for some moments, and then said quietly, “Let us change this subject; let us think of what more immediately presses. I see you have been making some notes: may I look at them?”
Mr. Stanton was quiet for a few moments, then said softly, “Let’s change the subject; let’s focus on what’s more urgent. I see you’ve been taking some notes: can I take a look at them?”
I composed myself and sat down. “This accuser! Have inquiries really been made as to himself, and his statement of his own proceedings? He comes, he says, from America: in what ship? At what port did he land? Is there any evidence to corroborate his story of the relations he tried to discover; of the inn at which he first put up, and to which he could not find his way?”
I gathered my thoughts and took a seat. “This accuser! Have any checks actually been done on him and his account of what he’s done? He claims to have come from America: which ship? At what port did he arrive? Is there any proof to back up his story about the people he tried to find; about the inn where he first stayed, and how he couldn’t figure out how to get there?”
“Your suggestions are sensible, Dr. Fenwick. I have forestalled them. It is true that the man lodged at a small inn,—the Rising Sun; true that he made inquiries about some relations of the name of Walls, who formerly resided at L——, and afterwards removed to a village ten miles distant,—two brothers, tradesmen of small means but respectable character. He at first refused to say at what seaport he landed, in what ship he sailed. I suspect that he has now told a falsehood as to these matters. I sent my clerk to Southampton, for it is there he said that he was put on shore; we shall see: the man himself is detained in close custody. I hear that his manner is strange and excitable; but that he preserves silence as much as possible. It is generally believed that he is a bad character, perhaps a returned convict, and that this is the true reason why he so long delayed giving evidence, and has been since so reluctant to account for himself. But even if his testimony should be impugned, should break down, still we should have to account for the fact that the casket and the case-knife were found in your bureau; for, granting that a person could, in your absence, have entered your study and placed the articles in your bureau, it is clear that such a person must have been well acquainted with your house, and this stranger to L—— could not have possessed that knowledge.”
“Your suggestions make sense, Dr. Fenwick. I've anticipated them. It’s true that the man stayed at a small inn—the Rising Sun; it’s also true that he asked about some relatives named Walls, who used to live in L—— and later moved to a village ten miles away—two brothers, tradesmen of modest means but respectable character. At first, he wouldn’t say where he landed or what ship he came on. I suspect that he’s now lied about those details. I sent my clerk to Southampton because that’s where he claimed he was dropped off; we’ll see. The man himself is being held in close custody. I hear his demeanor is odd and excitable, but he stays as quiet as he can. It’s widely believed that he has a bad reputation, possibly being a former convict, and that this is the real reason he delayed giving evidence and has been so unwilling to explain himself. But even if his testimony is called into question or falls apart, we still need to explain how the casket and the case knife ended up in your desk; because even if someone could have entered your study and placed those items there while you were away, it’s clear that person would need to be very familiar with your house, and this stranger to L—— couldn’t have had that knowledge.”
“Of course not. Mr. Margrave did possess it!”
“Of course not. Mr. Margrave definitely had it!”
“Mr. Margrave again! oh, sir!”
“Mr. Margrave again! Oh no, sir!”
I arose and moved away with an impatient gesture. I could not trust myself to speak. That night I did not sleep; I watched impatiently, gazing on the opposite wall for the gleam of the Scin-Laeca. But the night passed away, and the spectre did not appear.
I got up and walked away with an annoyed gesture. I couldn't trust myself to say anything. That night, I couldn't sleep; I waited restlessly, staring at the opposite wall, hoping to see the glimmer of the Scin-Laeca. But the night went by, and the ghost didn't show up.
CHAPTER XLI.
The lawyer came the next day, and with something like a smile on his lips. He brought me a few lines in pencil from Mrs. Ashleigh; they were kindly expressed, bade me be of good cheer; “she never for a moment believed in my guilt; Lilian bore up wonderfully under so terrible a trial; it was an unspeakable comfort to both to receive the visits of a friend so attached to me, and so confident of a triumphant refutation of the hideous calumny under which I now suffered as Mr. Margrave!”
The lawyer came the next day, appearing with something like a smile on his face. He brought me a few lines in pencil from Mrs. Ashleigh; they were kindly written, telling me to stay hopeful; “she never for a second believed I was guilty; Lilian was handling the terrible situation remarkably well; it was an incredible comfort for both of us to receive visits from a friend so close to me and so sure of a triumphant rebuttal of the awful accusations I was currently facing as Mr. Margrave!”
The lawyer had seen Margrave again,—seen him in that house. Margrave seemed almost domiciled there!
The lawyer had seen Margrave again—seen him in that house. Margrave seemed almost like he lived there!
I remained sullen and taciturn during this visit. I longed again for the night. Night came. I heard the distant clock strike twelve, when again the icy wind passed through my hair, and against the wall stood the luminous Shadow.
I stayed gloomy and quiet during this visit. I eagerly awaited the night. Night arrived. I heard the distant clock chime twelve, and once more the cold wind blew through my hair, and the glowing Shadow leaned against the wall.
“Have you considered?” whispered the voice, still as from afar. “I repeat it,—I alone can save you.”
“Have you thought about it?” whispered the voice, still distant. “I’ll say it again—I alone can save you.”
“Is it among the conditions which you ask, in return, that I shall resign to you the woman I love?”
“Is it one of the conditions you’re asking for that I give up the woman I love?”
“No.”
“No.”
“Is it one of the conditions that I should commit some crime,—a crime perhaps heinous as that of which I am accused?”
“Is it one of the conditions that I have to commit some crime—a crime perhaps as terrible as the one I’m being accused of?”
“No.”
“No.”
“With such reservations, I accept the conditions you may name, provided I, in my turn, may demand one condition from yourself.”
“With those reservations, I agree to the conditions you set, as long as I can ask for one condition from you in return.”
“Name it.”
“Just name it.”
“I ask you to quit this town. I ask you, meanwhile, to cease your visits to the house that holds the woman betrothed to me.”
“I’m asking you to leave this town. I’m also asking you to stop visiting the house where the woman who is engaged to me lives.”
“I will cease those visits. And before many days are over, I will quit this town.”
“I'll stop those visits. And before long, I’ll leave this town.”
“Now, then, say what you ask from me. I am prepared to concede it. And not from fear for myself, but because I fear for the pure and innocent being who is under the spell of your deadly fascination. This is your power over me. You command me through my love for another. Speak.”
“Alright, tell me what you want from me. I'm ready to give in. Not out of fear for myself, but because I'm worried about the pure and innocent person who is caught up in your deadly charm. This is how you have power over me. You control me through my love for someone else. Go ahead.”
“My conditions are simple. You will pledge yourself to desist from all charges of insinuation against myself, of what nature soever. You will not, when you meet me in the flesh, refer to what you have known of my likeness in the Shadow. You will be invited to the house at which I may be also a guest; you will come; you will meet and converse with me as guest speaks with guest in the house of a host.”
“My terms are straightforward. You will promise to stop all accusations of insinuation against me, no matter the form. When you encounter me in person, you will not mention what you’ve seen of my likeness in the Shadow. You will be invited to the house where I might also be a guest; you will come; you will meet and talk with me as one guest talks to another in the host’s house.”
“Is that all?”
"Is that it?"
“It is all.”
"That's everything."
“Then I pledge you my faith; keep your own.”
“Then I promise you my loyalty; just keep yours.”
“Fear not; sleep secure in the certainty that you will soon be released from these walls.”
“Don’t be afraid; sleep peacefully knowing that you’ll soon be freed from these walls.”
The Shadow waned and faded. Darkness settled back, and a sleep, profound and calm, fell over me.
The Shadow faded away. Darkness returned, and a deep, peaceful sleep enveloped me.
The next day Mr. Stanton again visited me. He had received that morning a note from Mr. Margrave, stating that he had left L—— to pursue, in person, an investigation which he had already commenced through another, affecting the man who had given evidence against me, and that, if his hope should prove well founded, he trusted to establish my innocence, and convict the real murderer of Sir Philip Derval. In the research he thus volunteered, he had asked for, and obtained, the assistance of the policeman Waby, who, grateful to me for saving the life of his sister, had expressed a strong desire to be employed in my service.
The next day, Mr. Stanton came to see me again. He had received a note that morning from Mr. Margrave, which said that he had left L—— to personally follow up on an investigation he had already started through someone else, regarding the person who testified against me. He hoped that, if all went well, he could prove my innocence and catch the real murderer of Sir Philip Derval. In this effort, he had asked for and received help from the policeman Waby, who, grateful for me saving his sister's life, had shown a strong desire to work for me.
Meanwhile, my most cruel assailant was my old college friend, Richard Strahan. For Jeeves had spread abroad Strahan’s charge of purloining the memoir which had been entrusted to me; and that accusation had done me great injury in public opinion, because it seemed to give probability to the only motive which ingenuity could ascribe to the foul deed imputed to me. That motive had been first suggested by Mr. Vigors. Cases are on record of men whose life had been previously blameless, who have committed a crime which seemed to belie their nature, in the monomania of some intense desire. In Spain, a scholar reputed of austere morals murdered and robbed a traveller for money in order to purchase books,—books written, too, by Fathers of his Church! He was intent on solving some problem of theological casuistry. In France, an antiquary, esteemed not more for his learning than for amiable and gentle qualities, murdered his most intimate friend for the possession of a medal, without which his own collection was incomplete. These, and similar anecdotes, tending to prove how fatally any vehement desire, morbidly cherished, may suspend the normal operations of reason and conscience, were whispered about by Dr. Lloyd’s vindictive partisan; and the inference drawn from them and applied to the assumptions against myself was the more credulously received, because of that over-refining speculation on motive and act which the shallow accept, in their eagerness to show how readily they understand the profound.
Meanwhile, my most ruthless attacker was my old college buddy, Richard Strahan. Jeeves had spread around Strahan’s accusation of stealing the memoir that had been entrusted to me; and that claim seriously damaged my reputation, as it seemed to make the only motive that could be ascribed to the awful deed I was accused of more believable. This motive was initially put forth by Mr. Vigors. There are documented cases of people who had previously lived blameless lives suddenly committing crimes that seemed completely out of character, driven by an overwhelming desire. In Spain, a scholar known for his strict morals murdered and robbed a traveler for money to buy books—books written by the Fathers of his Church! He was obsessed with solving some theological dilemma. In France, a well-respected antiquarian, known more for his kindness than his knowledge, killed his closest friend over a medal that he needed to complete his collection. These and similar stories, which illustrate how dangerously a strong, unhealthy desire can cloud someone's reason and conscience, were spread around by Dr. Lloyd’s spiteful supporter; and the conclusions drawn from them, applied to the accusations against me, were all the more readily accepted because of that excessive speculation on motives and actions that the shallow cling to in their eagerness to seem wise.
I was known to be fond of scientific, especially of chemical experiments; to be eager in testing the truth of any novel invention. Strahan, catching hold of the magistrate’s fantastic hypothesis, went about repeating anecdotes of the absorbing passion for analysis and discovery which had characterized me in youth as a medical student, and to which, indeed, I owed the precocious reputation I had obtained.
I was known to love scientific experiments, especially chemistry; I was always eager to test the validity of any new invention. Strahan, seizing on the magistrate’s wild theory, began sharing stories about my intense passion for analysis and discovery that had defined my youth as a medical student, and for which I had indeed earned my early reputation.
Sir Philip Derval, according not only to report, but to the direct testimony of his servant, had acquired in the course of his travels many secrets in natural science, especially as connected with the healing art,—his servant had deposed to the remarkable cures he had effected by the medicinals stored in the stolen casket. Doubtless Sir Philip, in boasting of these medicinals in the course of our conversation, had excited my curiosity, inflamed my imagination; and thus when I afterwards suddenly met him in a lone spot, a passionate impulse had acted on a brain heated into madness by curiosity and covetous desire.
Sir Philip Derval, according to both gossip and the direct accounts of his servant, had gained many secrets in natural science during his travels, especially related to medicine. His servant testified to the amazing cures he had performed using the medicine stored in the stolen chest. Surely, while boasting about these remedies during our conversation, Sir Philip sparked my curiosity and fired up my imagination; so when I later unexpectedly encountered him in a secluded area, a strong impulse took over a mind already driven to madness by curiosity and greed.
All these suppositions, reduced into system, were corroborated by Strahan’s charge that I had made away with the manuscript supposed to contain the explanations of the medical agencies employed by Sir Philip, and had sought to shelter my theft by a tale so improbable, that a man of my reputed talent could not have hazarded it if in his sound senses. I saw the web that had thus been spread around me by hostile prepossessions and ignorant gossip: how could the arts of Margrave scatter that web to the winds? I knew not, but I felt confidence in his promise and his power. Still, so great had been my alarm for Lilian, that the hope of clearing my own innocence was almost lost in my joy that Margrave, at least, was no longer in her presence, and that I had received his pledge to quit the town in which she lived.
All these assumptions, put into a system, were backed up by Strahan’s claim that I had stolen the manuscript that supposedly contained the explanations of the medical methods used by Sir Philip, and had tried to cover my theft with such an unbelievable story that someone with my supposed talent wouldn’t have dared to make it up if they were in their right mind. I could see the trap that had been set around me by hostile biases and ignorant rumors: how could Margrave’s skills break that trap apart? I didn’t know, but I felt confident in his promise and his ability. Still, my fear for Lilian had been so great that the hope of proving my innocence was nearly overshadowed by my relief that Margrave was no longer around her, and that I had his promise to leave the town where she lived.
Thus, hours rolled on hours, till, I think, on the third day from that night in which I had last beheld the mysterious Shadow, my door was hastily thrown open, a confused crowd presented itself at the threshold,—the governor of the prison, the police superintendent, Mr. Stanton, and other familiar faces shut out from me since my imprisonment. I knew at the first glance that I was no longer an outlaw beyond the pale of human friendship. And proudly, sternly, as I had supported myself hitherto in solitude and suspense, when I felt warm hands clasping mine, heard joyous voices proffering congratulations, saw in the eyes of all that my innocence had been cleared, the revulsion of emotion was too strong for me,—the room reeled on my sight, I fainted. I pass, as quickly as I can, over the explanations that crowded on me when I recovered, and that were publicly given in evidence in court next morning. I had owed all to Margrave. It seems that he had construed to my favour the very supposition which had been bruited abroad to my prejudice. “For,” said he, “it is conjectured that Fenwick committed the crime of which he is accused in the impulse of a disordered reason. That conjecture is based upon the probability that a madman alone could have committed a crime without adequate motive. But it seems quite clear that the accused is not mad; and I see cause to suspect that the accuser is.” Grounding this assumption on the current reports of the witness’s manner and bearing since he had been placed under official surveillance, Margrave had commissioned the policeman Waby to make inquiries in the village to which the accuser asserted he had gone in quest of his relations, and Waby had there found persons who remembered to have heard that the two brothers named Walls lived less by the gains of the petty shop which they kept than by the proceeds of some property consigned to them as the nearest of kin to a lunatic who had once been tried for his life. Margrave had then examined the advertisements in the daily newspapers. One of them, warning the public against a dangerous maniac, who had effected his escape from an asylum in the west of England, caught his attention. To that asylum he had repaired.
So, hours went by until, I think, on the third day after the night I last saw the mysterious Shadow, my door was suddenly thrown open, and a confused crowd appeared at the entrance—the prison governor, the police superintendent, Mr. Stanton, and other familiar faces I hadn’t seen since my imprisonment. I knew right away that I was no longer an outlaw cut off from human connection. And proudly, firmly, as I had held myself up until then in solitude and uncertainty, when I felt warm hands gripping mine, heard happy voices offering congratulations, and saw in everyone's eyes that my innocence had been proven, the rush of emotions overwhelmed me—the room spun in front of me, and I fainted. I’ll quickly skip over the explanations that came my way when I recovered and that were later given in court the next morning. I owed everything to Margrave. It appears he interpreted the very assumption that had been spread about me to my advantage. “For,” he said, “it is believed that Fenwick committed the crime he’s accused of in a moment of unstable reasoning. That assumption rests on the idea that only a madman could commit a crime without a valid motive. But it’s clear that the accused is not insane; in fact, I suspect the accuser is.” Based on current reports about the accuser’s behavior since being under official surveillance, Margrave had instructed officer Waby to investigate in the village where the accuser claimed he had gone to find his relatives. Waby found locals who recalled that the two brothers named Walls survived more on the income from a property linked to them as the nearest kin of a lunatic who had previously been tried for his life than from their small shop. Margrave then looked through the daily newspaper ads, and one caught his attention—a warning about a dangerous maniac who had escaped from a mental asylum in the west of England. He went to that asylum.
There he learned that the patient advertised was one whose propensity was homicide, consigned for life to the asylum on account of a murder, for which he had been tried. The description of this person exactly tallied with that of the pretended American. The medical superintendent of the asylum, hearing all particulars from Margrave, expressed a strong persuasion that the witness was his missing patient, and had himself committed the crime of which he had accused another. If so, the superintendent undertook to coax from him the full confession of all the circumstances. Like many other madmen, and not least those whose propensity is to crime, the fugitive maniac was exceedingly cunning, treacherous, secret, and habituated to trick and stratagem,—more subtle than even the astute in possession of all their faculties, whether to achieve his purpose or to conceal it, and fabricate appearances against another. But while, in ordinary conversation, he seemed rational enough to those who were not accustomed to study him, he had one hallucination which, when humoured, led him always, not only to betray himself, but to glory in any crime proposed or committed. He was under the belief that he had made a bargain with Satan, who, in return for implicit obedience, would bear him harmless through all the consequences of such submission, and finally raise him to great power and authority. It is no unfrequent illusion of homicidal maniacs to suppose they are under the influence of the Evil One, or possessed by a Demon. Murderers have assigned as the only reason they themselves could give for their crime, that “the Devil got into them,” and urged the deed. But the insane have, perhaps, no attribute more in common than that of superweening self-esteem. The maniac who has been removed from a garret sticks straws in his hair and calls them a crown. So much does inordinate arrogance characterize mental aberration, that, in the course of my own practice, I have detected, in that infirmity, the certain symptom of insanity, long before the brain had made its disease manifest even to the most familiar kindred.
There he learned that the patient in question was someone with a tendency toward homicide, confined for life in the asylum due to a murder for which he had been tried. The description of this person matched exactly with that of the supposed American. The medical superintendent of the asylum, after hearing all the details from Margrave, strongly believed that the witness was his missing patient and that he had actually committed the crime he accused another of. If that was the case, the superintendent planned to get him to confess fully to all the circumstances. Like many other mentally ill individuals, especially those inclined toward crime, the fugitive maniac was very clever, deceitful, secretive, and used tricks and schemes more skillfully than even the shrewdest individuals who were fully sane, whether to achieve his goals or to hide them and create false appearances against others. However, while he appeared rational enough in casual conversation to those not familiar with him, he had one delusion that, when encouraged, always led him to expose himself and take pride in any crime suggested or committed. He believed he had made a deal with Satan, who, in exchange for his complete obedience, would protect him from any repercussions of that submission and eventually elevate him to great power and authority. It's not uncommon for homicidal maniacs to think they are under the influence of the Devil or possessed by a Demon. Murderers have claimed that the only reason they could give for their actions was that “the Devil made them do it.” Yet, the insane share one common trait: overwhelming self-esteem. A maniac who has been taken from a shabby room will stick straws in his hair and call it a crown. Overconfidence is so characteristic of mental illness that, during my own practice, I have identified it as a certain sign of insanity long before any symptoms of mental illness were evident even to the closest relatives.
Morbid self-esteem accordingly pervaded the dreadful illusion by which the man I now speak of was possessed. He was proud to be the protected agent of the Fallen Angel. And if that self-esteem were artfully appealed to, he would exult superbly in the evil he held himself ordered to perform, as if a special prerogative, an official rank and privilege; then, he would be led on to boast gleefully of thoughts which the most cynical of criminals in whom intelligence was not ruined would shrink from owning; then, he would reveal himself in all his deformity with as complacent and frank a self-glorying as some vain good man displays in parading his amiable sentiments and his beneficent deeds.
Morbid self-esteem filled the terrible illusion that the man I'm talking about was caught up in. He took pride in being the chosen agent of the Fallen Angel. If someone appealed to that self-esteem, he would joyfully revel in the evil he believed he was meant to carry out, as if it were a special right, a formal title, and a privilege; then, he would eagerly brag about thoughts that even the most hardened criminals with some sense of intelligence would hesitate to claim; he would expose himself in all his ugliness with as much satisfaction and openness as some vain good person shows off their kind feelings and good deeds.
“If,” said the superintendent, “this be the patient who has escaped from me, and if his propensity to homicide has been, in some way, directed towards the person who has been murdered, I shall not be with him a quarter of an hour before he will inform me how it happened, and detail the arts he employed in shifting his crime upon another; all will be told as minutely as a child tells the tale of some school-boy exploit, in which he counts on your sympathy, and feels sure of your applause.”
“If,” said the superintendent, “if this is the patient who escaped from me, and if his tendency toward violence has somehow been aimed at the person who was murdered, I won't be with him for more than fifteen minutes before he tells me how it happened and the tricks he used to blame someone else; he’ll share every detail like a kid recounting a schoolyard adventure, expecting your sympathy and confident that you’ll applaud him.”
Margrave brought this gentleman back to L——, took him to the mayor, who was one of my warmest supporters: the mayor had sufficient influence to dictate and arrange the rest. The superintendent was introduced to the room in which the pretended American was lodged. At his own desire a select number of witnesses were admitted with him. Margrave excused himself; he said candidly that he was too intimate a friend of mine to be an impartial listener to aught that concerned me so nearly.
Margrave brought this guy back to L—— and took him to the mayor, who was one of my biggest supporters. The mayor had enough influence to sort everything out. The superintendent was shown into the room where the supposed American was staying. At his request, a few select witnesses were allowed to join him. Margrave stepped back, saying honestly that he was too close a friend of mine to be an unbiased listener to anything that affected me so much.
The superintendent proved right in his suspicions, and verified his promises. My false accuser was his missing patient; the man recognized Dr. —— with no apparent terror, rather with an air of condescension, and in a very few minutes was led to tell his own tale, with a gloating complacency both at the agency by which he deemed himself exalted, and at the dexterous cunning with which he had acquitted himself of the task, that increased the horror of his narrative.
The superintendent was correct in his suspicions and confirmed his promises. My false accuser turned out to be his missing patient; the man recognized Dr. —— without any obvious fear, instead with a sense of superiority, and within minutes he was led to share his own story, gleefully pleased with both the means by which he thought himself elevated and the cleverness with which he had handled the situation, which only added to the horror of his tale.
He spoke of the mode of his escape, which was extremely ingenious, but of which the details, long in themselves, did not interest me, and I understood them too imperfectly to repeat. He had encountered a sea-faring traveller on the road, whom he had knocked down with a stone, and robbed of his glazed hat and pea-jacket, as well as of a small sum in coin, which last enabled him to pay his fare in a railway that conveyed him eighty miles away from the asylum. Some trifling remnant of this money still in his pocket, he then travelled on foot along the high-road till he came to a town about twenty miles distant from L——; there he had stayed a day or two, and there he said “that the Devil had told him to buy a case-knife, which he did.” “He knew by that order that the Devil meant him to do something great.” “His Master,” as he called the fiend, then directed him the road he should take. He came to L——, put up, as he had correctly stated before, at a small inn, wandered at night about the town, was surprised by the sudden storm, took shelter under the convent arch, overheard somewhat more of my conversation with Sir Philip than he had previously deposed,—heard enough to excite his curiosity as to the casket: “While he listened his Master told him he must get possession of that casket.” Sir Philip had quitted the archway almost immediately after I had done so, and he would then have attacked him if he had not caught sight of a policeman going his rounds. He had followed Sir Philip to a house (Mr. Jeeves’s). “His Master told him to wait and watch.” He did so. When Sir Philip came forth, towards the dawn, he followed him, saw him enter a narrow street, came up to him, seized him by the arm, demanded all he had about him. Sir Philip tried to shake him off,—struck at him. What follows I spare the reader. The deed was done. He robbed the dead man both of the casket and the purse that he found in the pockets; had scarcely done so when he heard footsteps. He had just time to get behind the portico of a detached house at angles with the street when I came up. He witnessed, from his hiding-place, the brief conference between myself and the policemen, and when they moved on, bearing the body, stole unobserved away. He was going back towards the inn, when it occurred to him that it would be safer if the casket and purse were not about his person; that he asked his Master to direct him how to dispose of them: that his Master guided him to an open yard (a stone-mason’s) at a very little distance from the inn; that in this yard there stood an old wych-elm tree, from the gnarled roots of which the earth was worn away, leaving chinks and hollows, in one of which he placed the casket and purse, taking from the latter only two sovereigns and some silver, and then heaping loose mould over the hiding-place. That he then repaired to his inn, and left it late in the morning, on the pretence of seeking for his relations,—persons, indeed, who really had been related to him, but of whose death years ago he was aware. He returned to L—— a few days afterwards, and in the dead of the night went to take up the casket and the money. He found the purse with its contents undisturbed; but the lid of the casket was unclosed. From the hasty glance he had taken of it before burying it, it had seemed to him firmly locked,—he was alarmed lest some one had been to the spot. But his Master whispered to him not to mind, told him that he might now take the casket, and would be guided what to do with it; that he did so, and, opening the lid, found the casket empty-; that he took the rest of the money out of the purse, but that he did not take the purse itself, for it had a crest and initials on it, which might lead to the discovery of what had been done; that he therefore left it in the hollow amongst the roots, heaping the mould over it as before; that in the course of the day he heard the people at the inn talk of the murder, and that his own first impulse was to get out of the town immediately, but that his Master “made him too wise for that,” and bade him stay; that passing through the streets, he saw me come out of the sash-window door, go to a stable-yard on the other side of the house, mount on horseback and ride away; that he observed the sash-door was left partially open; that he walked by it and saw the room empty; there was only a dead wall opposite; the place was solitary, unobserved; that his Master directed him to lift up the sash gently, enter the room, and deposit the knife and the casket in a large walnut-tree bureau which stood unlocked near the window. All that followed—his visit to Mr. Vigors, his accusation against myself, his whole tale—was, he said, dictated by his Master, who was highly pleased with him, and promised to bring him safely through. And here he turned round with a hideous smile, as if for approbation of his notable cleverness and respect for his high employ.
He talked about how he escaped, which was very clever, but the details were long and didn't interest me, and I didn't understand them well enough to repeat. He had met a sailor on the road, knocked him down with a stone, and robbed him of his shiny hat and pea coat, along with some cash, which allowed him to pay his fare on a train that took him eighty miles away from the asylum. With just a little bit of that money left in his pocket, he walked along the main road until he reached a town about twenty miles from L——; he had stayed there a day or two, and he claimed “the Devil told him to buy a pocket knife, which he did.” “He understood from that order that the Devil intended him to do something significant.” “His Master,” as he referred to the demon, then guided him on which road to take. He arrived at L——, checked into a small inn, wandered around the town at night, was caught off guard by a sudden storm, took shelter under the convent arch, and overheard more of my conversation with Sir Philip than he had previously mentioned—enough to pique his curiosity about the casket: “While he listened, his Master told him he must get hold of that casket.” Sir Philip left the archway almost right after I did, and he would have attacked him if he hadn’t seen a policeman on duty. He followed Sir Philip to a house (Mr. Jeeves’s). “His Master told him to wait and watch.” He did just that. When Sir Philip came out in the early morning, he followed him, saw him enter a narrow street, approached him, grabbed his arm, and demanded everything he had. Sir Philip tried to shake him off and struck at him. I’ll skip what happened next. The deed was done. He robbed the dead man of both the casket and the purse he found in his pockets; he had barely finished when he heard footsteps. He barely had time to hide behind the portico of a nearby house when I came by. He watched from his hiding spot as I had a brief conversation with the policemen, and when they moved on with the body, he slipped away unnoticed. He was heading back toward the inn when he thought it would be safer not to have the casket and purse on him; he asked his Master how to get rid of them. His Master guided him to an open yard (a stone mason’s) very close to the inn; in this yard, there was an old wych-elm tree, with gnarled roots that had eroded, leaving gaps and hollows. He placed the casket and purse in one of those hollows, taking only two sovereigns and some change from the purse, then he covered the hiding place with loose dirt. He then returned to his inn and left late in the morning, pretending to look for his relatives—people who really had been related to him, but he knew had died years ago. He came back to L—— a few days later and, in the dead of night, went to retrieve the casket and the money. He found the purse intact; however, the lid of the casket was open. From his quick glance at it before burying it, he thought it was locked—he was worried that someone had been there. But his Master whispered to him not to worry, told him he could now take the casket and would be guided on what to do with it. He did so, and when he opened the lid, he found the casket empty; he took the rest of the money from the purse but didn’t take the purse itself because it had a crest and initials on it that could lead to the discovery of what had happened; so he left it in the hollow among the roots, covering it with dirt like before. During the day, he heard people at the inn talking about the murder, and his first instinct was to leave town immediately, but his Master “made him too wise for that” and told him to stay. While walking through the streets, he saw me come out of the sash-window door, go to a stable yard on the other side of the house, get on a horse, and ride away; he noticed that the sash-door was left partially open; he walked by and saw the room was empty; there was just a blank wall across from him; the place was quiet and unnoticed; his Master told him to gently lift the sash, enter the room, and put the knife and casket in a large walnut bureau that was unlocked near the window. Everything that followed—his visit to Mr. Vigors, his accusation against me, his entire story—he said was dictated by his Master, who was very pleased with him and promised to keep him safe. And at that, he turned around with a creepy grin, as if seeking approval for his cleverness and respect for his high task.
Mr. Jeeves had the curiosity to request the keeper to inquire how, in what form, or in what manner, the Fiend appeared to the narrator, or conveyed his infernal dictates. The man at first refused to say; but it was gradually drawn from him that the Demon had no certain and invariable form: sometimes it appeared to him in the form of a rat; sometimes even of a leaf, or a fragment of wood, or a rusty nail; but that his Master’s voice always came to him distinctly, whatever shape he appeared in; only, he said, with an air of great importance, his Master, this time, had graciously condescended, ever since he left the asylum, to communicate with him in a much more pleasing and imposing aspect than he had ever done before,—in the form of a beautiful youth, or, rather, like a bright rose-coloured shadow, in which the features of a young man were visible, and that he had heard the voice more distinctly than usual, though in a milder tone, and seeming to come to him from a great distance.
Mr. Jeeves was curious and asked the keeper to explain how or in what form the Fiend appeared to the narrator or conveyed his wicked commands. Initially, the man was reluctant to share; however, it slowly came out that the Demon didn’t have a fixed form: sometimes it showed up as a rat, other times as a leaf, a piece of wood, or a rusty nail. But he noted, with great seriousness, that his Master’s voice was always clear, regardless of the shape. This time, he said, his Master had kindly chosen to communicate with him in a much more appealing and impressive appearance than before—like a beautiful young man, or more accurately, a bright rose-colored shadow that revealed the features of a young man. He also mentioned that he heard the voice more clearly than usual, though it was gentler and seemed to come from a great distance.
After these revelations the man became suddenly disturbed. He shook from limb to limb, he seemed convulsed with terror; he cried out that he had betrayed the secret of his Master, who had warned him not to describe his appearance and mode of communication, or he would surrender his servant to the tormentors. Then the maniac’s terror gave way to fury; his more direful propensity made itself declared; he sprang into the midst of his frightened listeners, seized Mr. Vigors by the throat, and would have strangled him but for the prompt rush of the superintendent and his satellites. Foaming at the mouth, and horribly raving, he was then manacled, a strait-waistcoat thrust upon him, and the group so left him in charge of his captors. Inquiries were immediately directed towards such circumstantial evidence as might corroborate the details he had so minutely set forth. The purse, recognized as Sir Philip’s, by the valet of the deceased, was found buried under the wych-elm. A policeman despatched, express, to the town in which the maniac declared the knife to have been purchased, brought back word that a cutler in the place remembered perfectly to have sold such a knife to a seafaring man, and identified the instrument when it was shown to him. From the chink of a door ajar, in the wall opposite my sash-window, a maid-servant, watching for her sweetheart (a journeyman carpenter, who habitually passed that way on going home to dine), had, though unobserved by the murderer, seen him come out of my window at a time that corresponded with the dates of his own story, though she had thought nothing of it at the moment. He might be a patient, or have called on business; she did not know that I was from home. The only point of importance not cleared up was that which related to the opening of the casket,—the disappearance of the contents; the lock had been unquestionably forced. No one, however, could suppose that some third person had discovered the hiding-place and forced open the casket to abstract its contents and then rebury it. The only probable supposition was that the man himself had forced it open, and, deeming the contents of no value, had thrown them away before he had hidden the casket and purse, and, in the chaos of his reason, had forgotten that he had so done. Who could expect that every link in a madman’s tale would be found integral and perfect? In short, little importance was attached to this solitary doubt. Crowds accompanied me to my door, when I was set free, in open court, stainless; it was a triumphal procession. The popularity I had previously enjoyed, superseded for a moment by so horrible a charge, came back to me tenfold as with the reaction of generous repentance for a momentary doubt. One man shared the public favour,—the young man whose acuteness had delivered me from the peril, and cleared the truth from so awful a mystery; but Margrave had escaped from congratulation and compliment; he had gone on a visit to Strahan, at Derval Court.
After these revelations, the man suddenly became unsettled. He trembled all over, seeming to be overwhelmed with fear; he shouted that he had revealed his Master's secret, who had warned him not to talk about his appearance or way of communicating, or he'd throw his servant to the torturers. Then, the man's terror shifted to rage; his darker instincts came out; he jumped into the midst of his terrified audience, grabbed Mr. Vigors by the throat, and would have strangled him if the superintendent and his men hadn't rushed in. Foaming at the mouth and screaming wildly, he was then shackled, a straitjacket put on him, and the group left him in the care of his captors. Investigations were quickly directed toward any evidence that might support the details he had described in such detail. The purse, identified as Sir Philip’s by the deceased’s valet, was found buried under the wych-elm. A policeman sent urgently to the town where the man claimed the knife had been bought reported back that a cutler remembered selling such a knife to a sailor and identified it when shown. From a crack in a door slightly open in the wall opposite my window, a maidservant, waiting for her boyfriend (a carpenter who regularly passed by on his way home for lunch), had seen the murderer come out of my window at a time that matched the timeline of his story, though she hadn’t thought much of it then. He could have been a patient or just visiting for business; she didn’t know I was away. The only key point that remained unclear was related to the opening of the casket—the disappearance of its contents; it was clear the lock had been forced. However, no one could believe that a third party had found the hiding place, forced open the casket to steal its contents, and then buried it again. The most likely theory was that the man himself had opened it and, thinking the contents were worthless, had tossed them aside before hiding the casket and purse, forgetting in his madness what he had done. Who could expect that every detail in a madman’s story would be complete and flawless? In short, little importance was placed on this one doubt. Crowds accompanied me to my door when I was released in open court, completely exonerated; it was a triumphant procession. The popularity I had enjoyed before, temporarily overshadowed by such a dreadful accusation, returned to me tenfold, as people reacted with generous regret for their momentary doubts. One man shared in the public's gratitude—the young man whose sharp thinking had saved me from danger and clarified the truth behind the horrible mystery; but Margrave had slipped away from congratulations and praise; he had gone to visit Strahan at Derval Court.
Alone, at last, in the welcome sanctuary of my own home, what were my thoughts? Prominent amongst them all was that assertion of the madman, which had made me shudder when repeated to me: he had been guided to the murder and to all the subsequent proceedings by the luminous shadow of the beautiful youth,—the Scin-Laeca to which I had pledged myself. If Sir Philip Derval could be believed, Margrave was possessed of powers, derived from fragmentary recollections of a knowledge acquired in a former state of being, which would render his remorseless intelligence infinitely dire and frustrate the endeavours of a reason, unassisted by similar powers, to thwart his designs or bring the law against his crimes. Had he then the arts that could thus influence the minds of others to serve his fell purposes, and achieve securely his own evil ends through agencies that could not be traced home to himself?
Alone at last, in the comforting shelter of my own home, what was I thinking? Chief among my thoughts was that statement from the madman, which had sent a chill down my spine when he repeated it to me: he had been led to the murder and all that followed by the glowing shadow of the beautiful young man—the Scin-Laeca to which I had devoted myself. If I could trust Sir Philip Derval, Margrave had abilities stemming from fragmented memories of knowledge gained in a past life, which made his ruthless intelligence incredibly dangerous and would frustrate any attempt by a rational mind, lacking similar powers, to stop him or bring justice against his crimes. Did he possess the skills to manipulate others' minds to fulfill his wicked purposes and achieve his evil goals through means that couldn’t be traced back to him?
But for what conceivable purpose had I been subjected as a victim to influences as much beyond my control as the Fate or Demoniac Necessity of a Greek Myth? In the legends of the classic world some august sufferer is oppressed by powers more than mortal, but with an ethical if gloomy vindication of his chastisement,—he pays the penalty of crime committed by his ancestors or himself, or he has braved, by arrogating equality with the gods, the mysterious calamity which the gods alone can inflict. But I, no descendant of Pelops, no OEdipus boastful of a wisdom which could interpret the enigmas of the Sphynx, while ignorant even of his own birth—what had I done to be singled out from the herd of men for trials and visitations from the Shadowland of ghosts and sorcerers? It would be ludicrously absurd to suppose that Dr. Lloyd’s dying imprecation could have had a prophetic effect upon my destiny; to believe that the pretences of mesmerizers were specially favoured by Providence, and that to question their assumptions was an offence of profanation to be punished by exposure to preternatural agencies. There was not even that congruity between cause and effect which fable seeks in excuse for its inventions. Of all men living, I, unimaginative disciple of austere science, should be the last to become the sport of that witchcraft which even imagination reluctantly allows to the machinery of poets, and science casts aside into the mouldy lumber-room of obsolete superstition.
But for what possible reason had I been made a victim of forces that were as uncontrollable as Fate or Demonic Necessity in a Greek Myth? In the legends of the ancient world, some noble sufferer is burdened by powers beyond mere mortals, yet there's an ethical, if somber, justification for their punishment— they pay for crimes committed by their ancestors or themselves, or they have defied the gods by claiming equality with them, facing the mysterious calamity that only the gods can deliver. But I am neither a descendant of Pelops nor an Oedipus boasting a wisdom that could solve the riddles of the Sphinx, while being unaware of even my own origins—what had I done to be chosen from the crowd for trials and visitations from the realm of ghosts and sorcerers? It would be laughably absurd to think that Dr. Lloyd’s dying curse could have any foresight into my fate; to believe that the claims of mesmerists were somehow favored by Providence, and that questioning their beliefs was an act of sacrilege that would result in exposure to supernatural forces. There wasn't even that connection between cause and effect that stories often seek to justify their creations. Of all people, I, a practical follower of strict science, should be the last to become a target of a witchcraft that even the imagination hesitantly attributes to the tools of poets, while science dismisses it to the dusty storage of outdated superstition.
Rousing my mind from enigmas impossible to solve, it was with intense and yet most melancholy satisfaction that I turned to the image of Lilian, rejoicing, though with a thrill of awe, that the promise so mysteriously conveyed to my senses had, hereto, been already fulfilled,—Margrave had left the town; Lilian was no longer subjected to his evil fascination. But an instinct told me that that fascination had already produced an effect adverse to all hope of happiness for me. Lilian’s love for myself was gone. Impossible otherwise that she—in whose nature I had always admired that generous devotion which is more or less inseparable from the romance of youth—should have never conveyed to me one word of consolation in the hour of my agony and trial; that she, who, till the last evening we had met, had ever been so docile, in the sweetness of a nature femininely submissive to my slightest wish, should have disregarded my solemn injunction, and admitted Margrave to acquaintance, nay, to familiar intimacy,—at the very time, too, when to disobey my injunctions was to embitter my ordeal, and add her own contempt to the degradation imposed upon my honour! No, her heart must be wholly gone from me; her very nature wholly warped. A union between us had become impossible. My love for her remained unshattered; the more tender, perhaps, for a sentiment of compassion. But my pride was shocked, my heart was wounded. My love was not mean and servile. Enough for me to think that she would be at least saved from Margrave. Her life associated with his!—contemplation horrible and ghastly!—from that fate she was saved. Later, she would recover the effect of an influence happily so brief. She might form some new attachment, some new tie; but love once withdrawn is never to be restored—and her love was withdrawn from me. I had but to release her, with my own lips, from our engagement,—she would welcome that release. Mournful but firm in these thoughts and these resolutions, I sought Mrs. Ashleigh’s house.
Waking up from puzzles that felt impossible to solve, I felt a deep and bittersweet satisfaction as I thought about Lilian. I was relieved, though a bit awed, that the strange promise I sensed had actually happened—Margrave had left town; Lilian was no longer under his dark spell. But something inside me warned that this spell had already caused damage to any hope for my happiness. Lilian no longer loved me. It couldn’t be any other way—she, who I had always admired for her generous devotion that comes with youthful romance, hadn’t offered a single word of comfort during my time of pain and struggle. She, who until our last evening together had always been so eager to please me, ignored my serious warning and allowed Margrave into her life, even getting close to him—just when disobeying me would only make my situation worse and add her disdain to the humiliation of my honor! No, her heart must be completely lost to me; her very nature was twisted. A bond between us was impossible now. My love for her remained strong, perhaps even more tender because of my compassion. But my pride was hurt, and my heart ached. My love wasn’t weak or submissive. I found some comfort in knowing that at least she was safe from Margrave. The thought of her being linked to him was terrifying—she was saved from that fate. Later, she might recover from that brief influence and form new attachments or ties, but love, once lost, can never be regained—and her love for me was gone. I only needed to set her free from our engagement with my own words—she would be glad to be released. Sad but resolute in these thoughts and decisions, I made my way to Mrs. Ashleigh’s house.
CHAPTER XLII.
It was twilight when I entered, unannounced (as had been my wont in our familiar intercourse), the quiet sitting-room in which I expected to find mother and child. But Lilian was there alone, seated by the open window, her hands crossed and drooping on her knee, her eye fixed upon the darkening summer skies, in which the evening star had just stolen forth, bright and steadfast, near the pale sickle of a half-moon that was dimly visible, but gave as yet no light.
It was twilight when I walked in unannounced (as I usually did during our familiar interactions) into the quiet sitting room where I expected to find mother and child. But Lilian was there alone, sitting by the open window, her hands crossed and resting on her knee, her gaze fixed on the darkening summer sky, where the evening star had just appeared, bright and steady, close to the faint crescent of a half-moon that was barely visible but wasn’t giving off any light yet.
Let any lover imagine the reception he would expect to meet from his betrothed coming into her presence after he had passed triumphant through a terrible peril to life and fame—and conceive what ice froze my blood, what anguish weighed down my heart, when Lilian, turning towards me, rose not, spoke not, gazed at me heedlessly as if at some indifferent stranger—and—and—But no matter. I cannot bear to recall it even now, at the distance of years! I sat down beside her, and took her hand, without pressing it; it rested languidly, passively in mine, one moment; I dropped it then, with a bitter sigh.
Let any lover picture the welcome he would hope to receive from his fiancée when he enters her presence after overcoming a life-threatening challenge—and imagine the icy chill that froze my blood, the heavy anguish weighing down my heart, when Lilian, turning towards me, didn’t stand up, didn’t speak, looked at me without interest as if I were just any indifferent stranger—and—and—But never mind. I can't stand to remember it even now, after all these years! I sat down next to her and took her hand, without squeezing it; it lay limply, passively in mine for a moment; then I let it go, with a bitter sigh.
“Lilian,” I said quietly, “you love me no longer. Is it not so?”
“Lilian,” I said softly, “you don’t love me anymore. Isn’t that true?”
She raised her eyes to mine, looked at me wistfully, and pressed her hand on her forehead; then said, in a strange voice, “Did I ever love you? What do you mean?”
She looked up at me, her eyes full of longing, and pressed her hand against her forehead; then she said, in a strange voice, “Did I ever love you? What do you mean?”
“Lilian, Lilian, rouse yourself; are you not, while you speak, under some spell, some influence which you cannot describe nor account for?”
“Lilian, Lilian, wake up; aren’t you, while you talk, under some kind of spell, some influence that you can’t describe or explain?”
She paused a moment before she answered, calmly, “No! Again I ask what do you mean?”
She took a moment before responding, calmly, “No! I ask again, what do you mean?”
“What do I mean? Do you forget that we are betrothed? Do you forget how often, and how recently, our vows of affection and constancy have been exchanged?”
“What do I mean? Do you forget that we’re engaged? Do you forget how often and how recently we promised each other our love and loyalty?”
“No, I do not forget; but I must have deceived you and myself—”
“No, I don't forget; but I must have fooled you and myself—”
“It is true, then, that you love me no more?”
“It’s true, then, that you don’t love me anymore?”
“I suppose so.”
"I guess so."
“But, oh, Lilian, is it that your heart is only closed to me; or is it—oh, answer truthfully—is it given to another,—to him—to him—against whom I warned you, whom I implored you not to receive? Tell me, at least, that your love is not gone to Margrave—”
“But, oh, Lilian, is your heart really closed to me; or is it—please, answer honestly—is it given to someone else,—to him—to him—who I warned you about, whom I pleaded with you not to accept? Just tell me that your love isn’t directed at Margrave—”
“To him! love to him! Oh, no—no—”
“To him! Love to him! Oh, no—no—”
“What, then, is your feeling towards him?”
“What are your feelings about him, then?”
Lilian’s face grew visibly paler, even in that dim light. “I know not,” she said, almost in a whisper; “but it is partly awe—partly—”
Lilian’s face became noticeably paler, even in that dim light. “I don’t know,” she said, almost in a whisper; “but it’s partly awe—partly—”
“What?”
“What?”
“Abhorrence!” she said almost fiercely, and rose to her feet, with a wild defying start.
“Disgust!” she said almost fiercely, and stood up, with a wild, defiant surge.
“If that be so,” I said gently, “you would not grieve were you never again to see him—”
“If that's the case,” I said softly, “you wouldn’t be sad if you never saw him again—”
“But I shall see him again,” she murmured in a tone of weary sadness, and sank back once more into her chair.
“But I will see him again,” she whispered with a tone of tired sadness, and sank back into her chair once more.
“I think not,” said I, “and I hope not. And now hear me and heed me, Lilian. It is enough for me, no matter what your feelings towards another, to learn from yourself that the affection you once professed for me is gone. I release you from your troth. If folks ask why we two henceforth separate the lives we had agreed to join, you may say, if you please, that you could not give your hand to a man who had known the taint of a felon’s prison, even on a false charge. If that seems to you an ungenerous reason, we will leave it to your mother to find a better. Farewell! For your own sake I can yet feel happiness,—happiness to hear that you do not love the man against whom I warn you still more solemnly than before! Will you not give me your hand in parting—and have I not spoken your own wish?”
"I don't think so," I said, "and I hope not. Now listen to me, Lilian. It's enough for me to realize that your feelings for me are gone, no matter what you feel for someone else. I release you from your promise. If people ask why we're ending the lives we agreed to share, you can say, if you want, that you couldn't marry a man who had been in prison, even for a false charge. If that seems unfair to you, we can let your mother come up with a better reason. Goodbye! For your own sake, I can still feel happiness—happiness knowing you don’t love the man I warn you about even more seriously than before! Will you give me your hand as we part—and haven’t I expressed your own wish?"
She turned away her face, and resigned her hand to me in silence. Silently I held it in mine, and my emotions nearly stifled me. One symptom of regret, of reluctance, on her part, and I should have fallen at her feet, and cried, “Do not let us break a tie which our vows should have made indisoluble; heed not my offers, wrung from a tortured heart! You cannot have ceased to love me!” But no such symptom of relenting showed itself in her, and with a groan I left the room.
She turned away her face and silently gave me her hand. I held it in mine without a word, and my emotions nearly overwhelmed me. If I had seen even a hint of regret or hesitation from her, I would have fallen at her feet and begged, “Please don’t let us break a bond that our vows should have made unbreakable; don’t pay attention to my pleas, which come from a broken heart! You can’t have stopped loving me!” But no sign of softening appeared in her, and with a sigh, I left the room.
CHAPTER XLIII.
I was just outside the garden door, when I felt an arm thrown round me, my cheek kissed and wetted with tears. Could it be Lilian? Alas, no! It was her mother’s voice, that, between laughing and crying, exclaimed hysterically: “This is joy, to see you again, and on these thresholds. I have just come from your house; I went there on purpose to congratulate you, and to talk to you about Lilian. But you have seen her?”
I was just outside the garden door when I felt an arm wrap around me, my cheek kissed and wet with tears. Could it be Lilian? Sadly, no! It was her mother’s voice, half-laughing and half-crying, exclaiming excitedly: “This is such joy to see you again, right here! I just came from your house; I went there specifically to congratulate you and to talk to you about Lilian. But you’ve seen her?”
“Yes; I have but this moment left her. Come this way.” I drew Mrs. Ashleigh back into the garden, along the old winding walk, which the shrubs concealed from view of the house. We sat down on a rustic seat where I had often sat with Lilian, midway between the house and the Monks’ Well. I told the mother what had passed between me and her daughter; I made no complaint of Lilian’s coldness and change; I did not hint at its cause. “Girls of her age will change,” said I, “and all that now remains is for us two to agree on such a tale to our curious neighbours as may rest the whole blame on me. Man’s name is of robust fibre; it could not push its way to a place in the world, if it could not bear, without sinking, the load idle tongues may lay on it. Not so Woman’s Name: what is but gossip against Man, is scandal against Woman.”
“Yes; I just left her. Come this way.” I led Mrs. Ashleigh back into the garden, along the old winding path that the shrubs hid from the house. We sat down on a rustic bench where I had often been with Lilian, halfway between the house and the Monks’ Well. I shared with her what had happened between me and her daughter; I made no complaints about Lilian’s coldness and changes; I didn’t suggest what might have caused it. “Girls her age often change,” I said, “and all that’s left for us is to come up with a story for our curious neighbors that puts all the blame on me. A man's name is strong; it wouldn’t make its way in the world if it couldn’t withstand the weight of idle gossip. But a woman’s name isn’t the same: what is just gossip against a man becomes scandal against a woman.”
“Do not be rash, my dear Allen,” said Mrs. Ashleigh, in great distress. “I feel for you, I understand you; in your case I might act as you do. I cannot blame you. Lilian is changed,—changed unaccountably. Yet sure I am that the change is only on the surface, that her heart is really yours, as entirely and as faithfully as ever it was; and that later, when she recovers from the strange, dreamy kind of torpor which appears to have come over all her faculties and all her affections, she would awake with a despair which you cannot conjecture to the knowledge that you had renounced her.”
“Don’t act hastily, my dear Allen,” said Mrs. Ashleigh, clearly upset. “I empathize with you, I really get where you’re coming from; if I were in your shoes, I might react the same way. I can’t fault you. Lilian has changed—changed in ways that are hard to understand. But I’m sure that the change is just superficial, that her heart belongs to you completely and faithfully, just as it always has; and that eventually, once she comes out of this strange, dreamlike state that seems to have taken over her mind and feelings, she will wake up with a despair that you can’t even imagine, realizing that you had let her go.”
“I have not renounced her,” said I, impatiently; “I did but restore her freedom of choice. But pass by this now, and explain to me more fully the change in your daughter, which I gather from your words is not confined to me.”
“I haven't given her up,” I said, impatiently; “I just restored her freedom to choose. But let’s set that aside for now and explain to me more fully the change in your daughter, which I understand from what you've said is not just about me.”
“I wished to speak of it before you saw her, and for that reason came to your house. It was on the morning in which we left her aunt’s to return hither that I first noticed some thing peculiar in her look and manner. She seemed absorbed and absent, so much so that I asked her several times to tell me what made her so grave; but I could only get from her that she had had a confused dream which she could not recall distinctly enough to relate, but that she was sure it boded evil. During the journey she became gradually more herself, and began to look forward with delight to the idea of seeing you again. Well, you came that evening. What passed between you and her you know best. You complained that she slighted your request to shun all acquaintance with Mr. Margrave. I was surprised that, whether your wish were reasonable or not, she could have hesitated to comply with it. I spoke to her about it after you had gone, and she wept bitterly at thinking she had displeased you.”
“I wanted to talk about this before you saw her, so I came to your house. It was on the morning we left her aunt’s to come back here that I first noticed something odd about her look and behavior. She seemed lost in thought and distant, to the point where I asked her several times what was making her so serious; all she would tell me was that she had a confusing dream she couldn’t remember well enough to explain, but she felt it meant something bad. During the trip, she gradually became more like her usual self and started to look forward to seeing you again with excitement. Well, you arrived that evening. You know best what happened between you and her. You expressed your disappointment that she ignored your request to stay away from Mr. Margrave. I was surprised that, whether your request was reasonable or not, she would hesitate to follow it. I talked to her about it after you left, and she cried a lot, feeling she had upset you.”
“She wept! You amaze me. Yet the next day what a note she returned to mine!”
“She cried! You surprise me. But the next day, what a message she sent back to me!”
“The next day the change in her became very visible to me. She told me, in an excited manner, that she was convinced she ought not to marry you. Then came, the following day, the news of your committal. I heard of it, but dared not break it to her. I went to our friend the mayor, to consult with him what to say, what to do; and to learn more distinctly than I had done from terrified, incoherent servants, the rights of so dreadful a story. When I returned, I found, to my amazement, a young stranger in the drawing-room; it was Mr. Margrave,—Miss Brabazon had brought him at his request. Lilian was in the room, too, and my astonishment was increased, when she said to me with a singular smile, vague but tranquil: ‘I know all about Allen Fenwick; Mr. Margrave has told me all. He is a friend of Allen’s. He says there is no cause for fear.’ Mr. Margrave then apologized to me for his intrusion in a caressing, kindly manner, as if one of the family. He said he was so intimate with you that he felt that he could best break to Miss Ashleigh information she might receive elsewhere, for that he was the only man in the town who treated the charge with ridicule. You know the wonderful charm of this young man’s manner. I cannot explain to you how it was, but in a few moments I was as much at home with him as if he had been your brother. To be brief, having once come, he came constantly. He had moved, two days before you went to Derval Court, from his hotel to apartments in Mr. ——‘s house, just opposite. We could see him on his balcony from our terrace; he would smile to us and come across. I did wrong in slighting your injunction, and suffering Lilian to do so. I could not help it, he was such a comfort to me,—to her, too—in her tribulation. He alone had no doleful words, wore no long face; he alone was invariably cheerful. ‘Everything,’ he said, ‘would come right in a day or two.’”
“The next day, I could clearly see the change in her. She excitedly told me that she was convinced she shouldn’t marry you. Then, the following day, I heard the news of your arrest. I knew about it but didn’t dare tell her. I went to our friend the mayor to discuss what to say and do, and to get a clearer understanding of such a terrible situation from the terrified, incoherent servants. When I returned, I was amazed to find a young stranger in the drawing-room; it was Mr. Margrave—Miss Brabazon had brought him at his request. Lilian was in the room too, and my surprise grew when she said to me with a strange smile, vague but calm: ‘I know all about Allen Fenwick; Mr. Margrave has told me everything. He’s a friend of Allen’s. He says there’s no reason to worry.’ Mr. Margrave then apologized for intruding in a warm, friendly way, as if he were part of the family. He mentioned that he was close to you and felt he could best share information that Miss Ashleigh might hear elsewhere, since he was the only one in town who treated the allegations lightly. You know how charming this young man is. I can’t explain how it happened, but within minutes, I felt completely at ease with him, as if he were your brother. To make a long story short, after he first visited, he continued coming over regularly. He had moved, two days before you went to Derval Court, from his hotel to an apartment in Mr. —'s house, right across the street. We could see him on his balcony from our terrace; he would smile at us and come over. I was wrong to dismiss your request and let Lilian do the same. I couldn’t help it; he was such a comfort to me—and to her too—during her distress. He alone had no gloomy words, wore no long face; he was always cheerful. ‘Everything,’ he said, ‘will work out in a day or two.’”
“And Lilian could not but admire this young man, he is so beautiful.”
“And Lilian couldn’t help but admire this young man; he’s so handsome.”
“Beautiful? Well, perhaps. But if you have a jealous feeling, you were never more mistaken. Lilian, I am convinced, does more than dislike him; he has inspired her with repugnance, with terror. And much as I own I like him, in his wild, joyous, careless, harmless way, do not think I flatter you if I say that Mr. Margrave is not the man to make any girl untrue to you,—untrue to a lover with infinitely less advantages than you may pretend to. He would be a universal favourite, I grant; but there is something in him, or a something wanting in him, which makes liking and admiration stop short of love. I know not why; perhaps, because, with all his good humour, he is so absorbed in himself, so intensely egotistical, so light; were he less clever, I should say so frivolous. He could not make love, he could not say in the serious tone of a man in earnest, ‘I love you.’ He owned as much to me, and owned, too, that he knew not even what love was. As to myself, Mr. Margrave appears rich; no whisper against his character or his honour ever reached me. Yet were you out of the question, and were there no stain on his birth, nay, were he as high in rank and wealth as he is favoured by Nature in personal advantages, I confess I could never consent to trust him with my daughter’s fate. A voice at my heart would cry, ‘No!’ It may be an unreasonable prejudice, but I could not bear to see him touch Lilian’s hand!”
"Beautiful? Maybe. But if you're feeling jealous, you're completely mistaken. Lilian, I'm convinced, doesn't just dislike him; he fills her with disgust and fear. And as much as I admit I like him, in his wild, joyful, carefree, and harmless way, don’t think I’m flattering you when I say that Mr. Margrave isn't the type to make any girl unfaithful to you—unfaithful to a lover with far fewer advantages than you may have. He would definitely be a universal favorite, I agree; but there’s something about him, or something he lacks, that keeps liking and admiration from turning into love. I don’t know why; maybe because, despite his good humor, he’s so wrapped up in himself, so intensely narcissistic, so carefree; if he were less clever, I’d even call him frivolous. He can’t make love; he can't say in the serious tone of a man who means it, 'I love you.' He admitted that to me and also that he doesn’t even know what love is. As for me, Mr. Margrave seems wealthy; I've never heard a single bad word about his character or honor. But if you were out of the picture, and if there were no stain on his birth, even if he were as high in rank and wealth as he is naturally gifted in looks, I honestly could never agree to trust him with my daughter’s future. A voice in my heart would shout, ‘No!’ It might be an unreasonable bias, but I couldn’t stand to see him touch Lilian’s hand!"
“Did she never, then—never suffer him even to take her hand?”
“Did she really never let him even hold her hand?”
“Never. Do not think so meanly of her as to suppose that she could be caught by a fair face, a graceful manner. Reflect: just before she had refused, for your sake, Ashleigh Sumner, whom Lady Haughton said ‘no girl in her senses could refuse;’ and this change in Lilian really began before we returned to L——,—before she had even seen Mr. Margrave. I am convinced it is something in the reach of your skill as physician,—it is on the nerves, the system. I will give you a proof of what I say, only do not betray me to her. It was during your imprisonment, the night before your release, that I was awakened by her coming to my bedside. She was sobbing as if her heart would break. ‘O mother, mother!’ she cried, ‘pity me, help me! I am so wretched.’ ‘What is the matter, darling?’ ‘I have been so cruel to Allen, and I know I shall be so again. I cannot help it. Do not question me; only if we are separated, if he cast me off, or I reject him, tell him some day perhaps when I am in my grave—not to believe appearances; and that I, in my heart of hearts, never ceased to love him!’”
“Never. Don't think so poorly of her as to believe that she could be swayed by a pretty face or nice demeanor. Remember: just before she turned him down for your sake, Ashleigh Sumner, who Lady Haughton said ‘no sensible girl could refuse;’ and this change in Lilian actually started before we got back to L——,—before she had even met Mr. Margrave. I'm convinced it's something within your expertise as a physician—it's affecting her nerves, her system. I’ll prove my point, but don’t let her know I told you. It was during your time in prison, the night before your release, when she came to my bedside and woke me up. She was crying as if her heart would shatter. ‘O mother, mother!’ she pleaded, ‘pity me, help me! I'm so miserable.’ ‘What’s wrong, sweetheart?’ ‘I've been so mean to Allen, and I know I’ll be mean again. I can’t help it. Please don’t ask me anything; just if we’re apart, if he leaves me, or I push him away, tell him someday—maybe when I'm dead—not to trust appearances; and that in my heart of hearts, I never stopped loving him!’”
“She said that! You are not deceiving me?”
“She said that? You’re not tricking me?”
“Oh, no! how can you think so?”
“Oh no! How can you think that?”
“There is hope still,” I murmured; and I bowed my head upon my hands, hot tears forcing their way through the clasped fingers.
“There’s still hope,” I whispered, and I rested my head on my hands, hot tears pushing their way through my clasped fingers.
“One word more,” said I; “you tell me that Lilian has a repugnance to this Margrave, and yet that she found comfort in his visits,—a comfort that could not be wholly ascribed to cheering words he might say about myself, since it is all but certain that I was not, at that time, uppermost in her mind. Can you explain this apparent contradiction?”
“One more thing,” I said; “you’re telling me that Lilian dislikes this Margrave, yet she still found comfort in his visits—a comfort that can’t just be credited to any kind words he might have said about me, since it’s almost certain I wasn’t on her mind at that time. Can you explain this contradiction?”
“I cannot, otherwise than by a conjecture which you would ridicule.”
“I can only do so through a guess that you would mock.”
“I can ridicule nothing now. What is your conjecture?”
“I can't mock anything now. What do you think?”
“I know how much you disbelieve in the stories one hears of animal magnetism and electro-biology, otherwise—”
“I know how much you don't believe in the stories people tell about animal magnetism and electro-biology, otherwise—”
“You think that Margrave exercises some power of that kind over Lilian? Has he spoken of such a power?”
“You think that Margrave has some influence like that over Lilian? Has he mentioned having such influence?”
“Not exactly; but he said that he was sure Lilian possessed a faculty that he called by some hard name, not clairvoyance, but a faculty, which he said, when I asked him to explain, was akin to prevision,—to second sight. Then he talked of the Priestesses who had administered the ancient oracles. Lilian, he said, reminded him of them, with her deep eyes and mysterious smile.”
“Not exactly; but he said he was sure Lilian had a talent that he referred to with some complicated term, not clairvoyance, but a talent that he claimed, when I asked him to clarify, was similar to premonition—like second sight. Then he talked about the Priestesses who used to deliver the ancient oracles. He said Lilian reminded him of them, with her expressive eyes and enigmatic smile.”
“And Lilian heard him? What said she?”
“And Lilian heard him? What did she say?”
“Nothing; she seemed in fear while she listened.”
“Nothing; she seemed scared as she listened.”
“He did not offer to try any of those arts practised by professional mesmerists and other charlatans?”
“He didn’t suggest trying any of those tricks used by professional mesmerists and other con artists?”
“I thought he was about to do so, but I forestalled him, saying I never would consent to any experiment of that kind, either on myself or my daughter.”
“I thought he was about to do that, but I interrupted him, saying I would never agree to any experiment like that, either on myself or my daughter.”
“And he replied—”
“And he said—”
“With his gay laugh, ‘that I was very foolish; that a person possessed of such a faculty as he attributed to Lilian would, if the faculty were developed, be an invaluable adviser.’ He would have said more, but I begged him to desist. Still I fancy at times—do not be angry—that he does somehow or other bewitch her, unconsciously to herself; for she always knows when he is coming. Indeed, I am not sure that he does not bewitch myself, for I by no means justify my conduct in admitting him to an intimacy so familiar, and in spite of your wish; I have reproached myself, resolved to shut my door on him, or to show by my manner that his visits were unwelcome; yet when Lilian has said, in the drowsy lethargic tone which has come into her voice (her voice naturally earnest and impressive, though always low), ‘Mother, he will be here in two minutes; I wish to leave the room and cannot,’ I, too, have felt as if something constrained me against my will; as if, in short, I were under that influence which Mr. Vigors—whom I will never forgive for his conduct to you—would ascribe to mesmerism. But will you not come in and see Lilian again?”
“With his cheerful laugh, he said that I was being very foolish; that a person with the abilities he claimed Lilian had would, if those abilities were developed, be an invaluable adviser. He would have said more, but I asked him to stop. Still, I sometimes think—please don't get angry—that he somehow enchants her, even if she's unaware of it; because she always knows when he's coming. In fact, I'm not sure that he doesn't enchant me too, because I don't really justify my actions in allowing him such close access, especially against your wishes; I've scolded myself, resolved to shut my door on him, or at least show by my behavior that his visits are unwelcome; yet when Lilian has said, in that drowsy, lethargic tone that has come into her voice (which is naturally earnest and impressive, although always low), ‘Mother, he will be here in two minutes; I want to leave the room but can't,’ I've also felt like something is pushing me against my will; as if, in fact, I were under that influence which Mr. Vigors—whom I will never forgive for his behavior toward you—would link to mesmerism. But won't you come in and see Lilian again?”
“No, not to-night; but watch and heed her, and if you see aught to make you honestly believe that she regrets the rupture of the old tic from which I have released her—why, you know, Mrs. Ashleigh, that—that—” My voice failed; I wrung the good woman’s hand, and went my way.
“No, not tonight; but pay attention to her, and if you notice anything that makes you truly believe she regrets the end of the old connection I freed her from—well, you know, Mrs. Ashleigh, that—that—” My voice trailed off; I squeezed the good woman’s hand and went on my way.
I had always till then considered Mrs. Ashleigh—if not as Mrs. Poyntz described her—“commonplace weak”—still of an intelligence somewhat below mediocrity. I now regarded her with respect as well as grateful tenderness; her plain sense had divined what all my boasted knowledge had failed to detect in my earlier intimacy with Margrave,—namely, that in him there was a something present, or a something wanting, which forbade love and excited fear. Young, beautiful, wealthy, seemingly blameless in life as he was, she would not have given her daughter’s hand to him!
I had always thought of Mrs. Ashleigh—if not in the way Mrs. Poyntz described her as “commonplace weak”—as having an intellect a bit below average. Now, I saw her with respect and a sense of gratitude; her straightforward thinking had picked up on what all my so-called knowledge had missed during my earlier time with Margrave—specifically, that there was something about him, or something he lacked, that made love impossible and stirred up fear. Despite being young, beautiful, wealthy, and seemingly blameless in life, she wouldn’t have let her daughter marry him!
CHAPTER XLIV.
The next day my house was filled with visitors. I had no notion that I had so many friends. Mr. Vigors wrote me a generous and handsome letter, owning his prejudices against me on account of his sympathy with poor Dr. Lloyd, and begging my pardon for what he now felt to have been harshness, if not distorted justice. But what most moved me was the entrance of Strahan, who rushed up to me with the heartiness of old college days. “Oh, my dear Allen, can you ever forgive me; that I should have disbelieved your word,—should have suspected you of abstracting my poor cousin’s memoir?”
The next day, my house was filled with visitors. I had no idea I had so many friends. Mr. Vigors sent me a generous and kind letter, admitting his biases against me because of his sympathy for poor Dr. Lloyd, and asking for my forgiveness for what he now recognized as harshness, if not unfair judgment. But what touched me the most was when Strahan came in, rushing up to me with the enthusiasm of our old college days. “Oh, my dear Allen, can you ever forgive me for doubting you; for thinking you would take my poor cousin’s memoir?”
“Is it found, then?”
"Is it found now?"
“Oh, yes; you must thank Margrave. He, clever fellow, you know, came to me on a visit yesterday. He put me at once on the right scent. Only guess; but you never can! It was that wretched old housekeeper who purloined the manuscript. You remember she came into the room while you were looking at the memoir. She heard us talk about it; her curiosity was roused; she longed to know the history of her old master, under his own hand; she could not sleep; she heard me go up to bed; she thought you might leave the book on the table when you, too, went to rest. She stole downstairs, peeped through the keyhole of the library, saw you asleep, the book lying before you, entered, took away the book softly, meant to glance at its contents and to return it. You were sleeping so soundly she thought you would not wake for an hour; she carried it into the library, leaving the door open, and there began to pore over it. She stumbled first on one of the passages in Latin; she hoped to find some part in plain English, turned over the leaves, putting her candle close to them, for the old woman’s eyes were dim, when she heard you make some sound in your sleep. Alarmed, she looked round; you were moving uneasily in your seat, and muttering to yourself. From watching you she was soon diverted by the consequences of her own confounded curiosity and folly. In moving, she had unconsciously brought the poor manuscript close to the candle; the leaves caught the flame; her own cap and hand burning first made her aware of the mischief done. She threw down the book; her sleeve was in flames; she had first to tear off the sleeve, which was, luckily for her, not sewn to her dress. By the time she recovered presence of mind to attend to the book, half its leaves were reduced to tinder. She did not dare then to replace what was left of the manuscript on your table; returned with it to her room, hid it, and resolved to keep her own secret. I should never have guessed it; I had never even spoken to her of the occurrence; but when I talked over the disappearance of the book to Margrave last night, and expressed my disbelief of your story, he said, in his merry way: ‘But do you think that Fenwick is the only person curious about your cousin’s odd ways and strange history? Why, every servant in the household would have been equally curious. You have examined your servants, of course?’ ‘No, I never thought of it.’ ‘Examine them now, then. Examine especially that old housekeeper. I observe a great change in her manner since I came here, weeks ago, to look over the house. She has something on her mind,—I see it in her eyes.’ Then it occurred to me, too, that the woman’s manner had altered, and that she seemed always in a tremble and a fidget. I went at once to her room, and charged her with stealing the book. She fell on her knees, and told the whole story as I have told it to you, and as I shall take care to tell it to all to whom I have so foolishly blabbed my yet more foolish suspicions of yourself. But can you forgive me, old friend?”
“Oh, yes; you should thank Margrave. He’s a clever guy, you know; he visited me yesterday. He immediately pointed me in the right direction. Just guess; but you never will! It was that awful old housekeeper who took the manuscript. You remember she came into the room while you were looking at the memoir. She heard us discussing it; her curiosity was piqued; she wanted to know the story of her old master in his own words; she couldn’t sleep; she heard me go to bed; she thought you might leave the book on the table when you went to rest too. She sneaked downstairs, peeped through the library keyhole, saw you asleep with the book in front of you, went in, quietly took the book, intending to glance at its contents and return it. You were sleeping so soundly she thought you wouldn’t wake for an hour; she carried it into the library, leaving the door open, and started to read it. She stumbled upon one of the passages in Latin first; she hoped to find something in plain English, flipped through the pages, holding her candle close, as the old woman’s eyes were weak, when she heard you make a noise in your sleep. Startled, she looked around; you were shifting uncomfortably in your seat and muttering to yourself. She soon became distracted, however, by the consequences of her own annoying curiosity and foolishness. As she moved, she accidentally brought the poor manuscript close to the candle; the pages caught fire; the flames on her cap and hand were the first signs of the trouble she’d caused. She dropped the book; her sleeve was burning; she had to tear off the sleeve, which luckily wasn’t sewn to her dress. By the time she regained her composure to pay attention to the book, half of its pages were reduced to ash. She didn’t dare replace what was left of the manuscript on your table; she took it back to her room, hid it, and decided to keep her secret. I would never have guessed it; I had never even mentioned the situation to her; but when I talked to Margrave about the book’s disappearance last night and expressed my disbelief in your story, he said, in his playful way: ‘Do you really think Fenwick is the only one curious about your cousin’s strange ways and history? Every servant in the household must be just as curious. You’ve questioned your servants, right?’ ‘No, I never thought of that.’ ‘You should do that now. Especially ask that old housekeeper. I’ve noticed her behavior has changed since I came here weeks ago to look over the place. She has something on her mind—I can see it in her eyes.’ Then it struck me that her demeanor had changed and that she seemed to be constantly anxious and fidgety. I went straight to her room and accused her of stealing the book. She fell to her knees and told the whole story just as I’ve explained it to you, and as I will make sure to tell it to all those I’ve foolishly shared my even more foolish suspicions about you. But can you forgive me, old friend?”
“Heartily, heartily! And the book is burned?”
“Seriously, seriously! Is the book really burned?”
“See;” and he produced a mutilated manuscript. Strange, the part burned—reduced, indeed, to tinder—was the concluding part that related to Haroun,—to Grayle: no vestige of that part was left; the earlier portions were scorched and mutilated, though in some places still decipherable; but as my eye hastily ran over those places, I saw only mangled sentences of the experimental problems which the writer had so minutely elaborated.
“Look,” he said, showing a damaged manuscript. It was odd that the section burned—completely turned to ash—was the final part about Haroun—about Grayle: there was no trace of that section left. The earlier parts were charred and damaged, but in some spots still readable; however, as my eyes quickly scanned those sections, I only noticed jumbled sentences of the experimental issues that the author had detailed in such depth.
“Will you keep the manuscript as it is, and as long as you like?” said Strahan.
“Will you keep the manuscript just the way it is, for as long as you want?” said Strahan.
“No, no; I will have nothing more to do with it. Consult some other man of science. And so this is the old woman’s whole story? No accomplice,—none? No one else shared her curiosity and her task?”
“No, no; I'm done with this. Talk to someone else who's into science. So this is the whole story from the old woman? No accomplice at all? No one else was curious or helped her with this?”
“No. Oddly enough, though, she made much the same excuse for her pitiful folly that the madman made for his terrible crime; she said, ‘the Devil put it into her head.’ Of course he did, as he puts everything wrong into any one’s head. That does not mend the matter.”
“No. Strangely enough, though, she gave a similar excuse for her shameful mistake as the crazy person did for his awful crime; she said, ‘the Devil put it in her head.’ Of course he did, like he puts all the bad ideas in anyone's head. That doesn’t fix anything.”
“How! did she, too, say she saw a Shadow and heard a voice?”
“How! Did she also say she saw a shadow and heard a voice?”
“No; not such a liar as that, and not mad enough for such a lie. But she said that when she was in bed, thinking over the book, something irresistible urged her to get up and go down into the study; swore she felt something lead her by the hand; swore, too, that when she first discovered the manuscript was not in English, something whispered in her ear to turn over the leaves and approach them to the candle. But I had no patience to listen to all this rubbish. I sent her out of the house, bag and baggage. But, alas! is this to be the end of all my wise cousin’s grand discoveries?”
“No; not that big of a liar, and not crazy enough for such a lie. But she said that when she was in bed, thinking about the book, something she couldn’t resist made her get up and go down to the study; she insisted she felt something guiding her by the hand; she also claimed that when she realized the manuscript wasn’t in English, something whispered to her to flip through the pages and hold them up to the candlelight. But I had no patience for all this nonsense. I kicked her out of the house, all her stuff included. But, unfortunately! is this really going to be the end of all my clever cousin’s great discoveries?”
True, of labours that aspired to bring into the chart of science new worlds, of which even the traditionary rumour was but a voice from the land of fable—nought left but broken vestiges of a daring footstep! The hope of a name imperishable amidst the loftiest hierarchy of Nature’s secret temple, with all the pomp of recorded experiment, that applied to the mysteries of Egypt and Chaldaea the inductions of Bacon, the tests of Liebig—was there nothing left of this but what, here and there, some puzzled student might extract, garbled, mutilated, perhaps unintelligible, from shreds of sentences, wrecks of problems! O mind of man, can the works, on which thou wouldst found immortality below, be annulled into smoke and tinder by an inch of candle in the hand of an old woman!
Sure, here’s the modernized paragraph: True, for efforts that aimed to bring new worlds into the realm of science, which were once just whispers from a mythical land—nothing remains but broken traces of a bold step! The hope for a name that would last forever among the highest ranks of Nature’s hidden temple, with all the grandeur of documented experiments, applying Bacon's reasoning and Liebig's tests to the mysteries of Egypt and Chaldaea—was there nothing left of this except what some confused student might piece together, distorted, incomplete, perhaps indecipherable, from fragments of sentences and remnants of problems? O human mind, can the works on which you seek to build your legacy be reduced to nothing by a flickering candle held by an old woman!
When Strahan left me, I went out, but not yet to visit patients. I stole through by-paths into the fields; I needed solitude to bring my thoughts into shape and order. What was delusion, and what not? Was I right or the Public? Was Margrave really the most innocent and serviceable of human beings, kindly affectionate, employing a wonderful acuteness for benignant ends? Was I, in truth, indebted to him for the greatest boon one man can bestow on another,—for life rescued, for fair name justified? Or had he, by some demoniac sorcery, guided the hand of the murderer against the life of the person who alone could imperil his own? Had he, by the same dark spells, urged the woman to the act that had destroyed the only record of his monstrous being,—the only evidence that I was not the sport of an illusion in the horror with which he inspired me?
When Strahan left me, I went out, but not to visit patients just yet. I quietly took some back paths into the fields; I needed solitude to organize my thoughts. What was real, and what was not? Was I right or was the Public? Was Margrave really the kindest and most helpful person, genuinely caring, using his remarkable insight for good? Or was I truly indebted to him for the greatest gift one person can give another—life saved, reputation restored? Or had he, through some dark magic, directed the murderer’s hand against the life of the one person who could threaten him? Had he, with the same sinister methods, pushed the woman to commit the act that had erased the only proof of his monstrous nature—the only evidence that I wasn’t just a victim of my own imagination regarding the horror he brought me?
But if the latter supposition could be admissible, did he use his agents only to betray them afterwards to exposure, and that, without any possible clew to his own detection as the instigator? Then, there came over me confused recollections of tales of mediaeval witchcraft, which I had read in boyhood. Were there not on judicial record attestation and evidence, solemn and circumstantial, of powers analogous to those now exercised by Margrave,—of sorcerers instigating to sin through influences ascribed to Demons; making their apparitions glide through guarded walls, their voices heard from afar in the solitude of dungeons or monastic cells; subjugating victims to their will, by means which no vigilance could have detected, if the victims themselves had not confessed the witchcraft that had ensnared, courting a sure and infamous death in that confession, preferring such death to a life so haunted? Were stories so gravely set forth in the pomp of judicial evidence, and in the history of times comparatively recent, indeed to be massed, pell-mell together, as a moles indigesta of senseless superstition,—all the witnesses to be deemed liars; all the victims and tools of the sorcerers, lunatics; all the examiners or judges, with their solemn gradations—lay and clerical—from Commissions of Inquiry to Courts of Appeal,—to be despised for credulity, loathed for cruelty; or, amidst records so numerous, so imposingly attested, were there the fragments of a terrible truth? And had our ancestors been so unwise in those laws we now deem so savage, by which the world was rid of scourges more awful and more potent than the felon with his candid dagger? Fell instigators of the evil in men’s secret hearts, shaping into action the vague, half-formed desire, and guiding with agencies impalpable, unseen, their spell-bound instruments of calamity and death.
But if that idea could be possible, did he use his agents only to later betray them to exposure, and without any chance of being caught as the mastermind? Then, I suddenly recalled confusing stories of medieval witchcraft that I had read as a child. Was there not, on judicial record, sworn testimony and evidence, serious and detailed, of powers similar to those exercised by Margrave—of sorcerers encouraging sin through influences attributed to demons; making their apparitions glide through locked doors, their voices heard from afar in the solitude of dungeons or monasteries; controlling victims against their will, using methods that no watchfulness could uncover, if the victims themselves hadn’t confessed to the witchcraft that trapped them, risking a sure and infamous death with that confession, choosing such a death over a life so tormented? Were stories so gravely presented in the formality of judicial evidence, and in the history of comparatively recent times, really to be lumped together as a muddled mix of senseless superstition—all witnesses labeled liars; all victims and pawns of sorcerers regarded as insane; all the examiners or judges, with their serious structure—lay and clerical—from Inquiry Commissions to Appeal Courts—despised for being gullible, hated for being cruel; or, amid records so numerous and so strongly verified, were there fragments of a terrible truth? And had our ancestors been so foolish in those laws we now see as brutal, by which the world rid itself of even more fearsome and powerful scourges than the criminal with his gleaming dagger? Eerie instigators of the evil in men’s hidden hearts, turning vague, half-formed desires into action, and guiding, with unnoticeable, unseen forces, their spell-bound instruments of disaster and death.
Such were the gloomy questions that I—by repute, the sternest advocate of common-sense against fantastic errors; by profession, the searcher into flesh and blood, and tissue and nerve and sinew, for the causes of all that disease the mechanism of the universal human frame; I, self-boasting physician, sceptic, philosopher, materialist—revolved, not amidst gloomy pines, under grim winter skies, but as I paced slow through laughing meadows, and by the banks of merry streams, in the ripeness of the golden August: the hum of insects in the fragrant grass, the flutter of birds amid the delicate green of boughs checkered by playful sunbeams and gentle shadows, and ever in sight of the resorts of busy workday man,—walls, roof-tops, church-spires rising high; there, white and modern, the handwriting of our race, in this practical nineteenth century, on its square plain masonry and Doric shafts, the Town-Hall, central in the animated marketplace. And I—I—prying into long-neglected corners and dust-holes of memory for what my reason had flung there as worthless rubbish; reviving the jargon of French law, in the proces verbal, against a Gille de Retz, or an Urbain Grandier, and sifting the equity of sentences on witchcraft!
These were the dark questions that I—known as the strictest supporter of common sense against ridiculous beliefs; by profession, the one who investigates the body and the mind, looking for the reasons behind all illnesses within the mechanism of the universal human body; I, confident physician, skeptic, philosopher, materialist—thought about, not among gloomy pines, under stark winter skies, but as I slowly walked through cheerful meadows and alongside lively streams in the warmth of August: the buzz of insects in the fragrant grass, the flitting of birds among the delicate green branches dappled by playful sunlight and gentle shadows, always in sight of the busy man's world—walls, rooftops, church spires reaching high; there, bright and modern, the mark of our species, in this practical nineteenth century, on its square, plain stonework and Doric columns, the Town Hall, situated in the bustling marketplace. And I—I—digging into the long-forgotten corners and dusty recesses of memory for what my reason had discarded as worthless trash; resurrecting the terminology of French law, in the proces verbal, against a Gille de Retz or an Urbain Grandier, and sorting through the fairness of witchcraft sentences!
Bursting the links of this ghastly soliloquy with a laugh at my own folly, I struck into a narrow path that led back towards the city, by a quiet and rural suburb; the path wound on through a wide and solitary churchyard, at the base of the Abbey-hill. Many of the former dwellers on that eminence now slept in the lowly burial-ground at its foot; and the place, mournfully decorated with the tombs which still jealously mark distinctions of rank amidst the levelling democracy of the grave, was kept trim with the care which comes half from piety, and half from pride.
Laughing at my own foolishness, I broke free from the ties of this creepy monologue and walked onto a narrow path that led back to the city, through a quiet and rural neighborhood. The path wound its way through a wide and lonely graveyard at the base of Abbey Hill. Many of those who once lived at the top now rested in the humble burial ground below; the area, sadly adorned with tombstones that still fiercely emphasize social distinctions even in the equality of the grave, was kept tidy out of a mix of devotion and pride.
I seated myself on a bench, placed between the clipped yew-trees that bordered the path from the entrance to the church porch, deeming vaguely that my own perplexing thoughts might imbibe a quiet from the quiet of the place.
I sat down on a bench between the trimmed yew trees that lined the path to the church entrance, hoping that my confusing thoughts might absorb some calm from the tranquility of the surroundings.
“And oh,” I murmured to myself, “oh that I had one bosom friend to whom I might freely confide all these torturing riddles which I cannot solve,—one who could read my heart, light up its darkness, exorcise its spectres; one in whose wisdom I could welcome a guide through the Nature which now suddenly changes her aspect, opening out from the walls with which I had fenced and enclosed her as mine own formal garden;—all her pathways, therein, trimmed to my footstep; all her blooms grouped and harmonized to my own taste in colour; all her groves, all her caverns, but the soothing retreats of a Muse or a Science; opening out—opening out, desert on desert, into clewless and measureless space! Gone is the garden! Were its confines too narrow for Nature? Be it so! The Desert replaces the garden, but where ends the Desert? Reft from my senses are the laws which gave order and place to their old questionless realm. I stand lost and appalled amidst Chaos. Did my Mind misconstrue the laws it deemed fixed and immutable? Be it so! But still Nature cannot be lawless; Creation is not a Chaos. If my senses deceive me in some things, they are still unerring in others; if thus, in some things, fallacious, still, in other things, truthful. Are there within me senses finer than those I have cultured, or without me vistas of knowledge which instincts, apart from my senses, divine? So long as I deal with the Finite alone, my senses suffice me; but when the Infinite is obtruded upon me there, are my senses faithless deserters? If so, is there aught else in my royal resources of Man—whose ambition it is, from the first dawn of his glory as Thinker, to invade and to subjugate Nature,—is there aught else to supply the place of those traitors, the senses, who report to my Reason, their judge and their sovereign, as truths seen and heard tales which my Reason forfeits her sceptre if she does not disdain as lies? Oh, for a friend! oh, for a guide!”
“And oh,” I whispered to myself, “if only I had a close friend to whom I could openly share all these puzzling riddles that I can’t solve—someone who could understand my heart, brighten its darkness, and banish its fears; someone whose wisdom I could trust to help me navigate the nature that has suddenly transformed, expanding beyond the walls I had built around it as my own private garden—all its paths tailored to my steps; all its flowers arranged to my taste in color; all its groves and caves just the comforting refuges of a Muse or a Science; expanding—expanding, desert sprawling into endless and formless space! The garden is gone! Were its boundaries too cramped for Nature? So be it! The desert takes the place of the garden, but where does the desert end? The laws that once gave structure and significance to my previously unquestioned reality are stripped away from my senses. I stand lost and stunned in the midst of chaos. Did my mind misinterpret the laws it considered fixed and unchangeable? So be it! But still, Nature cannot be lawless; Creation is not chaos. If my senses mislead me in some respects, they remain reliable in others; if, in some ways, they are deceptive, in other ways, they tell the truth. Are there within me senses finer than those I have developed, or are there areas of knowledge outside of me that instincts, separate from my senses, can perceive? As long as I deal only with the finite, my senses are enough; but when the infinite intrudes upon me, are my senses traitorous abandoners? If so, is there anything else in my human resources—whose ambition since the dawn of thinking is to explore and conquer Nature—that can replace those traitors, the senses, which report to my reason, their judge and ruler, truths seen and heard that my reason must reject as lies to maintain its authority? Oh, for a friend! oh, for a guide!”
And as I so murmured, my eye fell upon the form of a kneeling child,—at the farther end of the burial-ground, beside a grave with its new headstone gleaming white amidst the older moss-grown tombs, a female child, her head bowed, her hands clasped. I could see but the outline of her small form in its sable dress,—an infant beside the dead. My eye and my thoughts were turned from that silent figure, too absorbed in my own restless tumult of doubt and dread, for sympathy with the grief or the consolation of a kneeling child. And yet I should have remembered that tomb! Again I murmured with a fierce impatience, “Oh, for a friend! oh, for a guide!”
And as I whispered this, I noticed a child kneeling at the far end of the cemetery, next to a grave with its new, gleaming white headstone standing out among the older, moss-covered tombs. It was a little girl, her head bowed and hands clasped. I could only see the shape of her small figure in her black dress—an innocent next to the dead. My attention and thoughts were elsewhere, too caught up in my own restless turmoil of doubt and fear to feel any sympathy for the sorrow or consolation of the kneeling child. Yet, I should have remembered that grave! Again, I murmured with intense impatience, “Oh, for a friend! Oh, for a guide!”
I heard steps on the walk under the yews; and an old man came in sight, slightly bent, with long gray hair, but still with enough of vigour for years to come, in his tread, firm, though slow, in the unshrunken muscle of his limbs and the steady light of his clear blue eye. I started. Was it possible? That countenance, marked, indeed, with the lines of laborious thought, but sweet in the mildness of humanity, and serene in the peace of conscience! I could not be mistaken. Julius Faber was before me,—the profound pathologist, to whom my own proud self-esteem acknowledged inferiority, without humiliation; the generous benefactor to whom I owed my own smooth entrance into the arduous road of fame and fortune. I had longed for a friend, a guide; what I sought stood suddenly at my side.
I heard footsteps on the path under the yews, and an old man appeared, slightly hunched over with long gray hair. Yet he still had enough energy for many more years, walking firmly, though slowly, his limbs strong and his clear blue eyes bright. I was taken aback. Could it be? That face, marked with the lines of deep thought but kind in its gentleness and calm with the peace of a clear conscience! I couldn’t be mistaken. Julius Faber was right in front of me—the brilliant pathologist whose expertise made me feel inferior without feeling ashamed; the generous mentor who had helped me step onto the challenging path of success. I had longed for a friend, a guide; suddenly, what I was looking for was right by my side.
CHAPTER XLV.
Explanation on Faber’s part was short and simple. The nephew whom he designed as the heir to his wealth had largely outstripped the liberal allowance made to him, had incurred heavy debts; and in order to extricate himself from the debts, had plunged into ruinous speculations. Faber had come back to England to save his heir from prison or outlawry, at the expense of more than three-fourths of the destined inheritance. To add to all, the young man had married a young lady without fortune; the uncle only heard of this marriage on arriving in England. The spendthrift was hiding from his creditors in the house of his father-in-law, in one of the western counties. Faber there sought him; and on becoming acquainted with his wife, grew reconciled to the marriage, and formed hopes of his nephew’s future redemption. He spoke, indeed, of the young wife with great affection. She was good and sensible; willing and anxious to encounter any privation by which her husband might reprieve the effects of his folly. “So,” said Faber, “on consultation with this excellent creature—for my poor nephew is so broken down by repentance, that others must think for him how to exalt repentance into reform—my plans were determined. I shall remove my prodigal from all scenes of temptation. He has youth, strength, plenty of energy, hitherto misdirected. I shall take him from the Old World into the New. I have decided on Australia. The fortune still left to me, small here, will be ample capital there. It is not enough to maintain us separately, so we must all live together. Besides, I feel that, though I have neither the strength or the experience which could best serve a young settler on a strange soil, still, under my eye, my poor boy will be at once more prudent and more persevering. We sail next week.”
Faber’s explanation was brief and straightforward. The nephew he had intended to inherit his wealth had spent way beyond the generous allowance given to him, accumulating significant debt; to escape this debt, he had engaged in reckless investments. Faber returned to England to save his nephew from jail or disgrace, sacrificing more than three-quarters of the expected inheritance. To make matters worse, the young man had married a woman without any fortune; Faber only learned of the marriage when he arrived in England. The spendthrift was hiding from his creditors at his father-in-law’s house in one of the western counties. Faber went there to find him, and after getting to know his wife, he accepted the marriage and hoped for his nephew’s future recovery. He spoke very fondly of the young wife. She was good and sensible, eager to endure any hardships to help her husband mitigate the consequences of his mistakes. “So,” Faber said, “after consulting with this wonderful lady—because my poor nephew is so overwhelmed with regret that others must think for him about how to turn regret into genuine change—I've made my plans. I will take my wayward nephew away from all sources of temptation. He has youth, strength, and plenty of untapped energy. I’m going to take him from the Old World to the New. I’ve chosen Australia. The little fortune I have left here will be more than enough capital there. It's not enough for us to live separately, so we’ll all live together. Besides, I believe that, even though I may lack the strength or experience to truly support a young settler in a new land, my poor boy will be more careful and determined with me around. We set sail next week.”
Faber spoke so cheerfully that I knew not how to express compassion; yet, at his age, after a career of such prolonged and distinguished labour, to resign the ease and comforts of the civilized state for the hardships and rudeness of an infant colony, seemed to me a dreary prospect; and, as delicately, as tenderly as I could to one whom I loved and honoured as a father, I placed at his disposal the fortune which, in great part, I owed to him,—pressing him at least to take from it enough to secure to himself, in his own country, a home suited to his years and worthy of his station. He rejected all my offers, however earnestly urged on him, with his usual modest and gentle dignity; and assuring me that he looked forward with great interest to a residence in lands new to his experience, and affording ample scope for the hardy enjoyments which had always most allured his tastes, he hastened to change the subject.
Faber spoke so cheerfully that I didn’t know how to show my concern; yet, at his age, after such a long and distinguished career, giving up the comforts of civilized life for the struggles and roughness of a new colony seemed like a bleak future to me. So, as gently and kindly as I could to someone I loved and respected like a father, I offered him the fortune that I largely owed to him—urging him to at least take enough to ensure he had a home in his own country that was fitting for his age and status. However, he turned down all my offers, no matter how passionately I urged them, with his usual modesty and gentle dignity. He assured me that he was really looking forward to living in lands that were new to him, which would provide plenty of opportunities for the outdoor activities he had always enjoyed the most, and he quickly changed the subject.
“And who, think you, is the admirable helpmate my scape-grace has had the saving good luck to find? A daughter of the worthy man who undertook the care of poor Dr. Lloyd’s orphans,—the orphans who owed so much to your generous exertions to secure a provision for them; and that child, now just risen from her father’s grave, is my pet companion, my darling ewe lamb,—Dr. Lloyd’s daughter Amy.”
“And who do you think is the amazing partner my wayward friend has been lucky enough to find? She’s the daughter of the good man who took care of poor Dr. Lloyd’s orphans—the ones who owe so much to your generous efforts to secure a future for them; and that child, who has just come back from her father’s funeral, is my beloved companion, my precious little lamb—Dr. Lloyd’s daughter, Amy.”
Here the child joined us, quickening her pace as she recognized the old man, and nestling to his side as she glanced wistfully towards myself. A winning, candid, lovable child’s face, somewhat melancholy, somewhat more thoughtful than is common to the face of childhood, but calm, intelligent, and ineffably mild. Presently she stole from the old man, and put her hand in mine.
Here, the child caught up to us, speeding up as she spotted the old man and cuddling up to him while looking at me with a longing gaze. She had a charming, open, and lovable face, a bit sad and more thoughtful than most kids, yet calm, smart, and incredibly gentle. Soon, she slipped away from the old man and took my hand.
“Are you not the kind gentleman who came to see him that night when he passed away from us, and who, they all say at home, was so good to my brothers and me? Yes, I recollect you now.” And she put her pure face to mine, wooing me to kiss it.
“Are you the kind man who came to see him the night he passed away, and who everyone at home says was so good to my brothers and me? Yes, I remember you now.” And she leaned her innocent face close to mine, encouraging me to kiss it.
I kind! I good! I—I! Alas! she little knew, little guessed, the wrathful imprecation her father had bequeathed to me that fatal night!
I’m kind! I’m good! I—I! Oh no! She had no idea, no clue, about the angry curse her father passed on to me that fateful night!
I did not dare to kiss Dr. Lloyd’s orphan daughter, but my tears fell over her hand. She took them as signs of pity, and, in her infant thankfulness, silently kissed me.
I didn't have the courage to kiss Dr. Lloyd’s orphan daughter, but my tears spilled onto her hand. She took them as signs of sympathy, and, in her childlike gratitude, silently kissed me.
“Oh, my friend!” I murmured to Faber, “I have much that I yearn to say to you—alone—alone! Come to my house with me, be at least my guest as long as you stay in this town.”
“Oh, my friend!” I whispered to Faber, “I have so much I want to say to you—just the two of us—just the two of us! Come to my place with me, at least be my guest while you're in this town.”
“Willingly,” said Faber, looking at me more intently than he had done before, and with the true eye of the practised Healer, at once soft and penetrating.
“Willingly,” Faber said, looking at me more intently than before, with the genuine gaze of a skilled Healer, both gentle and piercing.
He rose, took my arm, and whispering a word in the ear of the little girl, she went on before us, turning her head, as she gained the gate, for another look at her father’s grave. As we walked to my house, Julius Faber spoke to me much of this child. Her brothers were all at school; she was greatly attached to his nephew’s wife; she had become yet more attached to Faber himself, though on so short an acquaintance; it had been settled that she was to accompany the emigrants to Australia.
He stood up, took my arm, and whispered something in the little girl's ear. She walked ahead of us, glancing back for one last look at her father's grave as she reached the gate. As we made our way to my house, Julius Faber talked to me a lot about this child. Her brothers were all in school; she was very close to his nephew’s wife, and she had grown even closer to Faber himself, despite having only known him for a short time. It had been decided that she would go along with the emigrants to Australia.
“There,” said he, “the sum, that some munificent, but unknown friend of her father has settled on her, will provide her no mean dower for a colonist’s wife, when the time comes for her to bring a blessing to some other hearth than ours.” He went on to say that she had wished to accompany him to L——, in order to visit her father’s grave before crossing the wide seas; “and she has taken such fond care of me all the way, that you might fancy I were the child of the two. I come back to this town, partly to dispose of a few poor houses in it which still belong to me, principally to bid you farewell before quitting the Old World, no doubt forever. So, on arriving to-day, I left Amy by herself in the churchyard while I went to your house, but you were from home. And now I must congratulate you on the reputation you have so rapidly acquired, which has even surpassed my predictions.”
“There,” he said, “the amount that some generous but unknown friend of her father has set aside for her will give her a decent dowry for a colonist's wife when the time comes for her to bless some other home besides ours.” He continued that she wanted to go with him to L—— to visit her father’s grave before crossing the ocean; “and she has taken such loving care of me the whole way that you might think I was the child of the two. I'm coming back to this town, partly to sell a few old houses that still belong to me, but mainly to say goodbye to you before leaving the Old World, probably forever. So, when I arrived today, I left Amy by herself in the churchyard while I went to your house, but you weren’t home. And now I must congratulate you on the reputation you’ve quickly built up, which has even exceeded my expectations.”
“You are aware,” said I, falteringly, “of the extraordinary charge from which that part of my reputation dearest to all men has just emerged!”
“You know,” I said hesitantly, “about the amazing accusation that my most precious reputation has just cleared!”
He had but seen a short account in a weekly journal, written after my release. He asked details, which I postponed.
He had only seen a brief article in a weekly magazine, written after I was released. He asked for details, which I delayed.
Reaching my home, I hastened to provide for the comfort of my two unexpected guests; strove to rally myself, to be cheerful. Not till night, when Julius Faber and I were alone together, did I touch on what was weighing at my heart. Then, drawing to his side, I told him all,—all of which the substance is herein written, from the deathscene in Dr. Lloyd’s chamber to the hour in which I had seen Dr. Lloyd’s child at her father’s grave. Some of the incidents and conversations which had most impressed me I had already committed to writing, in the fear that, otherwise, my fancy might forge for its own thraldom the links of reminiscence which my memory might let fall from its chain. Faber listened with a silence only interrupted by short pertinent questions; and when I had done, he remained thoughtful for some moments; then the great physician replied thus:—
Reaching home, I quickly made arrangements for the comfort of my two unexpected guests and tried to lift my spirits to be cheerful. It wasn’t until night, when Julius Faber and I were alone, that I brought up what was heavy on my heart. Sitting beside him, I shared everything—everything written here, from the death scene in Dr. Lloyd’s room to the moment I saw Dr. Lloyd’s child at her father’s grave. Some of the details and conversations that had impacted me the most I had already written down, worried that otherwise my imagination might create false memories to fill in the gaps my memory could lose. Faber listened silently, only breaking it with brief, relevant questions; and when I finished, he remained pensive for a few moments before responding:—
“I take for granted your conviction of the reality of all you tell me, even of the Luminous Shadow, of the bodiless Voice; but, before admitting the reality itself, we must abide by the old maxim, not to accept as cause to effect those agencies which belong to the Marvellous, when causes less improbable for the effect can be rationally conjectured. In this case are there not such causes? Certainly there are—”
“I take your belief in everything you tell me for granted, even in the Luminous Shadow and the bodiless Voice; however, before accepting the reality itself, we need to stick to the old saying, which advises against accepting miraculous explanations when more likely causes for the effect can be reasonably imagined. In this situation, aren’t there such causes? Absolutely there are—”
“There are?”
"Are there?"
“Listen; you are one of those men who attempt to stifle their own imagination. But in all completed intellect, imagination exists, and will force its way; deny it healthful vents, and it may stray into morbid channels. The death-room of Dr. Lloyd deeply impressed your heart, far more than your pride would own. This is clear from the pains you took to exonerate your conscience, in your generosity to the orphans. As the heart was moved, so was the imagination stirred; and, unaware to yourself, prepared for much that subsequently appealed to it. Your sudden love, conceived in the very grounds of the house so associated with recollections in themselves strange and romantic; the peculiar temperament and nature of the girl to whom your love was attracted; her own visionary beliefs, and the keen anxiety which infused into your love a deeper poetry of sentiment,—all insensibly tended to induce the imagination to dwell on the Wonderful; and, in overstriving to reconcile each rarer phenomenon to the most positive laws of Nature, your very intellect could discover no solution but in the Preternatural.
“Listen, you’re one of those guys who try to suppress their own imagination. But in every well-rounded mind, imagination is present and will find a way to emerge; if you block its healthy outlets, it might go off in unhealthy directions. The death room of Dr. Lloyd made a deep impression on you, much more than your pride is willing to admit. This is evident from the effort you made to clear your conscience through your kindness to the orphans. As your heart was moved, so was your imagination stirred, and without you even realizing it, it prepared for a lot of things that soon caught your attention. Your sudden love, sparked right on the grounds of the house filled with memories that are themselves strange and romantic; the unique temperament and nature of the girl you fell for; her visionary beliefs, and the intense anxiety that added a deeper poetry to your feelings—all of this naturally led your imagination to linger on the Extraordinary; and in your effort to make sense of each unusual phenomenon according to the strict laws of Nature, your intellect could find no answer but in the Supernatural.
“You visit a man who tells you he has seen Sir Philip Derval’s ghost; on that very evening, you hear a strange story, in which Sir Philip’s name is mixed up with a tale of murder, implicating two mysterious pretenders to magic,—Louis Grayle and the Sage of Aleppo. The tale so interests your fancy that even the glaring impossibility of a not unimportant part of it escapes your notice,—namely, the account of a criminal trial in which the circumstantial evidence was more easily attainable than in all the rest of the narrative, but which could not legally have taken place as told. Thus it is whenever the mind begins, unconsciously, to admit the shadow of the Supernatural; the Obvious is lost to the eye that plunges its gaze into the Obscure. Almost immediately afterwards you become acquainted with a young stranger, whose traits of character interest and perplex, attract yet revolt you. All this time you are engaged in a physiological work which severely tasks the brain, and in which you examine the intricate question of soul distinct from mind.
You visit a man who tells you he has seen Sir Philip Derval’s ghost; that very evening, you hear a strange story that links Sir Philip’s name to a murder involving two mysterious wannabe magicians—Louis Grayle and the Sage of Aleppo. The story captivates you so much that even the glaring impossibility of a crucial part of it slips your mind—specifically, the account of a criminal trial where the circumstantial evidence was more accessible than in the rest of the narrative, yet it couldn’t legally have happened as described. This happens whenever the mind starts to unknowingly embrace the shadow of the supernatural; the obvious gets lost to the eye that delves into the obscure. Shortly after, you meet a young stranger whose character traits interest and confuse you, drawing you in while also pushing you away. All this time, you’re involved in a complex physiological study that challenges your brain as you explore the complicated issue of the soul being separate from the mind.
“And, here, I can conceive a cause deep-hid amongst what metaphysicians would call latent associations, for a train of thought which disposed you to accept the fantastic impressions afterwards made on you by the scene in the Museum and the visionary talk of Sir Philip Derval. Doubtless, when at college you first studied metaphysical speculation you would have glanced over Beattie’s ‘Essay on Truth’ as one of the works written in opposition to your favourite, David Hume.”
“And here, I can imagine a reason hidden among what philosophers might describe as latent connections, for a line of thinking that made you open to the bizarre impressions later created by what you saw in the Museum and the dreamlike conversation with Sir Philip Derval. Surely, when you were in college studying metaphysics, you must have skimmed Beattie’s ‘Essay on Truth’ as one of the texts that argued against your favorite, David Hume.”
“Yes, I read the book, but I have long since forgotten its arguments.”
“Yes, I read the book, but I forgot what it argued a long time ago.”
“Well in that essay, Beattie(1) cites the extraordinary instance of Simon Browne, a learned and pious clergyman, who seriously disbelieved the existence of his own soul; and imagined that, by interposition of Divine power, his soul was annulled, and nothing left but a principle of animal life, which he held in common with the brutes! When, years ago, a thoughtful imaginative student, you came on that story, probably enough you would have paused, revolved in your own mind and fancy what kind of a creature a man might be, if, retaining human life and merely human understanding, he was deprived of the powers and properties which reasoners have ascribed to the existence of soul. Something in this young man, unconsciously to yourself, revives that forgotten train of meditative ideas. His dread of death as the final cessation of being, his brute-like want of sympathy with his kind, his incapacity to comprehend the motives which carry man on to scheme and to build for a future that extends beyond his grave,—all start up before you at the very moment your reason is overtasked, your imagination fevered, in seeking the solution of problems which, to a philosophy based upon your system, must always remain insoluble. The young man’s conversation not only thus excites your fancies,—it disturbs your affections. He speaks not only of drugs that renew youth, but of charms that secure love. You tremble for your Lilian while you hear him! And the brain thus tasked, the imagination thus inflamed, the heart thus agitated, you are presented to Sir Philip Derval, whose ghost your patient had supposed he saw weeks ago.
“Well, in that essay, Beattie(1) mentions the amazing case of Simon Browne, a knowledgeable and devout clergyman, who seriously doubted the existence of his own soul. He believed that, through Divine intervention, his soul had been erased, leaving only a principle of animal life, which he shared with animals! Years ago, if you, a thoughtful and imaginative student, came across that story, you probably paused to contemplate what kind of being a man might be if, while keeping human life and just human understanding, he was stripped of the powers and qualities that traditional thinkers attributed to the soul. Something in this young man, unbeknownst to you, brings back that long-forgotten stream of reflective ideas. His fear of death as the ultimate end of existence, his animal-like lack of empathy for humanity, his inability to grasp the motivations that drive people to plan and build for a future beyond their grave—all these thoughts arise just when your reason is overwhelmed, your imagination restless, as you search for answers to questions that, based on your philosophy, must remain forever unsolvable. The young man’s discussions not only stimulate your imagination but also disrupt your emotions. He talks not just about drugs that restore youth but also about charms that guarantee love. You feel anxious for your Lilian while you listen to him! And with your mind so strained, your imagination so stirred, and your heart so unsettled, you are introduced to Sir Philip Derval, whose ghost your patient claimed to have seen weeks ago.
“This person, a seeker after an occult philosophy, which had possibly acquainted him with some secrets in nature beyond the pale of our conventional experience, though, when analyzed, they might prove to be quite reconcilable with sober science, startles you with an undefined mysterious charge against the young man who had previously seemed to you different from ordinary mortals. In a room stored with the dead things of the brute soulless world, your brain becomes intoxicated with the fumes of some vapour which produces effects not uncommon in the superstitious practices of the East; your brain, thus excited, brings distinctly before you the vague impressions it had before received. Margrave becomes identified with the Louis Grayle of whom you had previously heard an obscure and, legendary tale, and all the anomalies in his character are explained by his being that which you had contended, in your physiological work, it was quite possible for man to be,—namely, mind and body without soul! You were startled by the monster which man would be were your own theory possible; and in order to reconcile the contradictions in this very monster, you account for knowledge, and for powers that mind without soul could not have attained, by ascribing to this prodigy broken memories of a former existence, demon attributes from former proficiency in evil magic. My friend, there is nothing here which your own study of morbid idiosyncracies should not suffice to solve.”
“This person, a seeker of an occult philosophy that may have revealed to him some secrets of nature beyond our usual experience, although they might actually align perfectly with sound science when examined, startles you with a vague mysterious accusation against the young man who once appeared to you as extraordinary. In a room filled with the lifeless remnants of the soulless world, your mind becomes intoxicated by some vapor that produces effects not uncommon in the superstitious practices of the East; your mind, thus stimulated, brings clearly before you the vague impressions it had previously received. Margrave becomes identified with the Louis Grayle of whom you had previously heard a murky, legendary story, and all the oddities in his character can be explained by his being what you had argued in your physiological work is entirely possible for humans to be—namely, mind and body without a soul! You are shocked by the monster that man would become if your own theory were correct; and to resolve the contradictions in this very monster, you explain knowledge, and powers that a mind without a soul could not have achieved, by attributing to this prodigy broken memories of a past life and demonic qualities from previous expertise in dark magic. My friend, there is nothing here that your own study of abnormal traits shouldn’t be able to explain.”
“So, then,” said I, “you would reduce all that have affected my senses as realities into the deceit of illusions? But,” I added, in a whisper, terrified by my own question, “do not physiologists agree in this: namely, that though illusory phantasms may haunt the sane as well as the insane, the sane know that they are only illusions, and the insane do not.”
“So, then,” I said, “you would turn everything that has impacted my senses into mere illusions? But,” I added, whispering, scared by my own question, “don’t physiologists agree on this: that while illusory phantoms can haunt both sane and insane people, the sane are aware that they are just illusions, while the insane are not?”
“Such a distinction,” answered Faber, “is far too arbitrary and rigid for more than a very general and qualified acceptance. Muller, indeed, who is perhaps the highest authority on such a subject, says, with prudent reserve, ‘When a person who is not insane sees spectres and believes, them to be real, his intellect must be imperfectly exercised.‘(2) He would, indeed, be a bold physician who maintained that every man who believed he had really seen a ghost was of unsound mind. In Dr. Abercrombie’s interesting account of spectral illusions, he tells us of a servant-girl who believed she saw, at the foot of her bed, the apparition of Curran, in a sailor’s jacket and an immense pair of whiskers.(3) No doubt the spectre was an illusion, and Dr. Abercrombie very ingeniously suggests the association of ideas by which the apparition was conjured up with the grotesque adjuncts of the jacket and the whiskers; but the servant-girl, in believing the reality of the apparition, was certainly not insane. When I read in the American public journals(4) of ‘spirit manifestations,’ in which large numbers of persons, of at least the average degree of education, declare that they have actually witnessed various phantasms, much more extraordinary than all which you have confided to me, and arrive, at once, at the conclusion that they are thus put into direct communication with departed souls, I must assume that they are under an illusion; but I should be utterly unwarranted in supposing that, because they credited that illusion, they were insane. I should only say with Muller, that in their reasoning on the phenomena presented to them, ‘their intellect was imperfectly exercised.’ And an impression made on the senses, being in itself sufficiently rare to excite our wonder, may be strengthened till it takes the form of a positive fact, by various coincidences which are accepted as corroborative testimony, yet which are, nevertheless, nothing more than coincidences found in every day matters of business, but only emphatically noticed when we can exclaim, ‘How astonishing!’ In your case such coincidences have been, indeed, very signal, and might well aggravate the perplexities into which your reason was thrown. Sir Philip Derval’s murder, the missing casket, the exciting nature of the manuscript, in which a superstitious interest is already enlisted by your expectation to find in it the key to the narrator’s boasted powers, and his reasons for the astounding denunciation of the man whom you suspect to be his murderer,—in all this there is much to confirm, nay, to cause, an illusion; and for that very reason, when examined by strict laws of evidence, in all this there is but additional proof that the illusion was—only illusion. Your affections contribute to strengthen your fancy in its war on your reason. The girl you so passionately love develops, to your disquietude and terror, the visionary temperament which, at her age, is ever liable to fantastic caprices. She hears Margrave’s song, which you say has a wildness of charm that affects and thrills even you. Who does not know the power of music? and of all music, there is none so potential as that of the human voice. Thus, in some languages, charm and song are identical expressions; and even when a critic, in our own sober newspapers, extols a Malibran or a Grisi, you may be sure that he will call her ‘enchantress.’ Well, this lady, your betrothed, in whom the nervous system is extremely impressionable, hears a voice which, even to your ear, is strangely melodious, and sees a form and face which, even to your eye, are endowed with a singular character of beauty. Her fancy is impressed by what she thus hears and sees; and impressed the more because, by a coincidence not very uncommon, a face like that which she beholds has before been presented to her in a dream or a revery. In the nobleness of genuine, confiding, reverential love, rather than impute to your beloved a levity of sentiment that would seem to you a treason, you accept the chimera of ‘magical fascination.’ In this frame of mind you sit down to read the memoir of a mystical enthusiast. Do you begin now to account for the Luminous Shadow? A dream! And a dream no less because your eyes were open and you believed yourself awake. The diseased imagination resembles those mirrors which, being themselves distorted, represent distorted pictures as correct.
“Such a distinction,” answered Faber, “is way too arbitrary and rigid for more than a very general and qualified acceptance. Muller, who is perhaps the top authority on this subject, says, with cautious reserve, ‘When a person who isn’t insane sees ghosts and believes they are real, their intellect must be imperfectly exercised.’ He would indeed be a bold doctor who claimed that every person who believed they actually saw a ghost was of unsound mind. In Dr. Abercrombie’s interesting account of spectral illusions, he tells us about a maid who believed she saw, at the foot of her bed, the ghost of Curran, in a sailor’s jacket and an enormous pair of whiskers. No doubt the ghost was an illusion, and Dr. Abercrombie cleverly suggests the association of ideas that conjured the apparition with those ridiculous elements of the jacket and the whiskers; but the maid, in believing the reality of the apparition, was certainly not insane. When I read in the American newspapers about ‘spirit manifestations,’ where many people, who are at least of average education, claim they have actually witnessed various phantoms, much more extraordinary than all the stories you’ve shared with me, and immediately conclude that they are in direct contact with departed souls, I must assume they are under an illusion; but I would have no basis to think that because they believed in that illusion, they were insane. I can only agree with Muller that in their reasoning about the phenomena they encounter, ‘their intellect was imperfectly exercised.’ An impression made on the senses, being unusual enough to astonish us, can be strengthened until it seems like a solid fact through various coincidences that are taken as supporting evidence, yet are merely coincidences found in everyday life, which we only notice emphatically when we can exclaim, ‘How astonishing!’ In your situation, such coincidences have indeed been very significant and could easily worsen the confusion your mind is facing. Sir Philip Derval’s murder, the missing casket, the thrilling nature of the manuscript, in which a superstitious interest is already piqued by your expectation to find the key to the narrator’s claimed powers, and his reasons for the shocking accusation against the man you suspect to be his murderer—all of this contributes to reinforcing, or even creating, an illusion; and for that reason, when examined by strict standards of evidence, everything here is just additional proof that the illusion was—only an illusion. Your feelings add to the power of your imagination in its battle against your reason. The girl you love so passionately develops, to your dismay and fear, a visionary temperament that is, at her age, always prone to fanciful whims. She hears Margrave’s song, which you say has a wild charm that affects and thrills even you. Who doesn’t understand the impact of music? And of all music, none is as powerful as the human voice. In some languages, charm and song are the same expression; and even when a critic in our own serious newspapers praises a Malibran or a Grisi, you can bet they’ll call her ‘enchantress.’ Well, this lady, your fiancée, who has an extremely impressionable nervous system, hears a voice that, even to your ear, is oddly melodious, and sees a form and face that, even to your eye, have a unique beauty. Her imagination is influenced by what she hears and sees; and it’s heightened because, through a not-so-uncommon coincidence, a face like the one she sees has appeared to her before in a dream or a daydream. In the nobleness of genuine, trusting, reverent love, rather than attributing to your beloved a lightness of sentiment that would seem a betrayal, you accept the illusion of ‘magical fascination.’ In this mindset, you sit down to read the memoir of a mystical enthusiast. Do you start to find a reason for the Luminous Shadow? A dream! And a dream no less because your eyes were open and you thought you were awake. A disordered imagination is like those mirrors that, being themselves distorted, reflect distorted images as if they were correct.”
“And even this Memoir of Sir Philip Derval’s—can you be quite sure that you actually read the part which relates to Haroun and Louis Grayle? You say that, while perusing the manuscript, you saw the Luminous Shadow, and became insensible. The old woman says you were fast asleep. May you not really have fallen into a slumber, and in that slumber have dreamed the parts of the tale that relate to Grayle,—dreamed that you beheld the Shadow? Do you remember what is said so well by Dr. Abercrombie, to authorize the explanation I suggest to you: ‘A person under the influence of some strong mental impression falls asleep for a few seconds, perhaps without being sensible of it: some scene or person appears in a dream, and he starts up under the conviction that it was a spectral appearance.’” (5)
“And even this Memoir of Sir Philip Derval—are you sure you actually read the part about Haroun and Louis Grayle? You say that while going through the manuscript, you saw the Luminous Shadow and lost consciousness. The old woman says you were sound asleep. Is it possible you actually dozed off and dreamed the parts of the story related to Grayle—dreamed that you saw the Shadow? Do you remember what Dr. Abercrombie says to support my suggestion: ‘A person under the influence of a strong mental impression may fall asleep for a few seconds, perhaps without realizing it: a scene or person appears in a dream, and he wakes up believing it was a ghostly sighting.’” (5)
“But,” said I, “the apparition was seen by me again, and when, certainly, I was not sleeping.”
“But,” I said, “I saw the ghost again, and I definitely wasn’t sleeping.”
“True; and who should know better than a physician so well read as yourself that a spectral illusion once beheld is always apt to return again in the same form? Thus, Goethe was long haunted by one image,—the phantom of a flower unfolding itself, and developing new flowers.(6) Thus, one of our most distinguished philosophers tells us of a lady known to himself, who would see her husband, hear him move and speak, when he was not even in the house.(7) But instances of the facility with which phantasms, once admitted, repeat themselves to the senses, are numberless. Many are recorded by Hibbert and Abercrombie, and every physician in extensive practice can add largely, from his own experience, to the list. Intense self-concentration is, in itself, a mighty magician. The magicians of the East inculcate the necessity of fast, solitude, and meditation for the due development of their imaginary powers. And I have no doubt with effect; because fast, solitude, and meditation—in other words, thought or fancy intensely concentred—will both raise apparitions and produce the invoker’s belief in them. Spinello, striving to conceive the image of Lucifer for his picture of the Fallen Angels, was at last actually haunted by the Shadow of the Fiend. Newton himself has been subjected to a phantom, though to him, Son of Light, the spectre presented was that of the sun! You remember the account that Newton gives to Locke of this visionary appearance. He says that ‘though he had looked at the sun with his right eye only, and not with the left, yet his fancy began to make an impression upon his left eye as well as his right; for if he shut his right and looked upon the clouds, or a book, or any bright object with his left eye, he could see the sun almost as plain as with the right, if he did but intend his fancy a little while on it;’ nay, ‘for some months after, as often as he began to meditate on the phenomena, the spectrum of the sun began to return, even though he lay in bed at midnight, with his curtains drawn!’ Seeing, then, how any vivid impression once made will recur, what wonder that you should behold in your prison the Shining Shadow that had first startled you in a wizard’s chamber when poring over the records of a murdered visionary? The more minutely you analyze your own hallucinations—pardon me the word—the more they assume the usual characteristics of a dream; contradictory, illogical, even in the marvels they represent. Can any two persons be more totally unlike each other, not merely as to form and years, but as to all the elements of character, than the Grayle of whom you read, or believe you read, and the Margrave in whom you evidently think that Grayle is existent still? The one represented, you say, as gloomy, saturnine, with vehement passions, but with an original grandeur of thought and will, consumed by an internal remorse; the other you paint to me as a joyous and wayward darling of Nature, acute yet frivolous, free from even the ordinary passions of youth, taking delight in innocent amusements, incapable of continuous study, without a single pang of repentance for the crimes you so fancifully impute to him. And now, when your suspicions, so romantically conceived, are dispelled by positive facts, now, when it is clear that Margrave neither murdered Sir Philip Derval nor abstracted the memoir, you still, unconsciously to yourself, draw on your imagination in order to excuse the suspicion your pride of intellect declines to banish, and suppose that this youthful sorcerer tempted the madman to the murder, the woman to the theft—”
“True, and who could know better than a well-read doctor like you that a spectral illusion, once seen, tends to return in the same form? For example, Goethe was long troubled by a vision of a flower unfolding and producing new blooms. One of our most notable philosophers mentions a woman he knew who would see, hear, and feel her husband when he wasn’t even home. There are countless examples of how easily phantoms, once acknowledged, can reappear to the senses. Many are documented by Hibbert and Abercrombie, and any doctor with a broad practice can add significantly from their own experiences. Intense self-concentration is a powerful force in itself. Eastern magicians emphasize the importance of fasting, solitude, and meditation for the development of their imaginative powers. I believe this is effective because fasting, solitude, and meditation—essentially, intense focused thought or imagination—can summon apparitions and foster belief in them. Spinello, trying to envision Lucifer for his painting of the Fallen Angels, ended up haunted by the shadow of the fiend. Even Newton himself experienced a phantom; to him, the light bringer, it was the image of the sun! You remember the account that Newton shared with Locke about this vision. He noted that 'even though he had looked at the sun with only his right eye and not the left, his imagination started to create an image in his left eye too; for if he shut his right eye and looked at the clouds, a book, or any bright object with his left, he could see the sun almost as clearly as with the right eye, provided he concentrated on it for a little while;' indeed, 'for several months afterward, whenever he began to reflect on the phenomena, the spectrum of the sun would reappear, even when he lay in bed at midnight with the curtains drawn!' So, considering how any vivid impression can resurface, is it surprising that you see in your prison the Shining Shadow that first startled you in a wizard’s chamber while examining the records of a murdered visionary? The more you dissect your own hallucinations—excuse me for using that term—the more they take on the typical traits of a dream; contradictory, illogical, and even in the wonders they depict. Can two people be more completely different, not just in appearance and age but in every aspect of character, than the Grayle you read about, or think you read about, and the Margrave in whom you clearly believe Grayle still exists? The former is described, you say, as dark, melancholic, full of intense passions, but with an innate greatness of thought and will, tormented by inner remorse; the latter you portray to me as a cheerful and whimsical child of Nature, sharp yet trivial, devoid of even the usual youthful passions, indulging in innocent fun, incapable of deep study, with no regrets for the crimes you so imaginatively attribute to him. And now, when the romantic suspicions you had are dispelled by clear facts, when it’s evident that Margrave neither killed Sir Philip Derval nor stole the memoir, you still, unwittingly, rely on your imagination to justify the suspicion your pride refuses to let go, believing that this young sorcerer lured the madman into murder and the woman into theft—”
“But you forget the madman said ‘that he was led on by the Luminous Shadow of a beautiful youth,’ that the woman said also that she was impelled by some mysterious agency.”
“But you forget the crazy person said ‘that he was guided by the Luminous Shadow of a beautiful young man,’ and that the woman also said she was driven by some mysterious force.”
“I do not forget those coincidences; but how your learning would dismiss them as nugatory were your imagination not disposed to exaggerate them! When you read the authentic histories of any popular illusion, such as the spurious inspirations of the Jansenist Convulsionaries, the apparitions that invaded convents, as deposed in the trial of Urbain Grandier, the confessions of witches and wizards in places the most remote from each other, or, at this day, the tales of ‘spirit-manifestation’ recorded in half the towns and villages of America,—do not all the superstitious impressions of a particular time have a common family likeness? What one sees, another sees, though there has been no communication between the two. I cannot tell you why these phantasms thus partake of the nature of an atmospheric epidemic; the fact remains incontestable. And strange as may be the coincidence between your impressions of a mystic agency and those of some other brains not cognizant of the chimeras of your own, still, is it not simpler philosophy to say, ‘They are coincidences of the same nature which made witches in the same epoch all tell much the same story of the broomsticks they rode and the sabbats at which they danced to the fiend’s piping,’ and there leave the matter, as in science we must leave many of the most elementary and familiar phenomena inexplicable as to their causes,—is not this, I say, more philosophical than to insist upon an explanation which accepts the supernatural rather than leave the extraordinary unaccounted for?”
“I don't forget those coincidences; but your rationality would dismiss them as insignificant if your imagination weren't prone to exaggerating them! When you read the true histories of any popular illusion, like the false inspirations of the Jansenist Convulsionaries, the apparitions that invaded convents, as noted in the trial of Urbain Grandier, the confessions of witches and wizards from places far apart, or today, the stories of 'spirit manifestations' recorded in half the towns and villages of America—don't all the superstitious beliefs of a specific time share a common resemblance? What one person sees, another sees, even though there has been no communication between them. I can't explain why these phantasms seem to behave like an atmospheric epidemic; the fact remains undeniable. And as strange as the coincidence is between your feelings of a mystical force and those of other minds unaware of your own fantasies, isn't it simpler to say, ‘They are coincidences of the same kind that made witches in the same era tell very similar stories about the broomsticks they flew on and the sabbats where they danced to the devil's music,’ and just leave it at that? Just as in science, we have to accept many of the most basic and familiar phenomena as inexplicable regarding their causes—wouldn't this be more reasonable than insisting on an explanation that accepts the supernatural instead of leaving the extraordinary unexplained?”
“As you speak,” said I, resting my downcast face upon my hand, “I should speak to any patient who had confided to me the tale I have told to you.”
“As you speak,” I said, resting my downturned face on my hand, “I should talk to any patient who had shared with me the story I've told you.”
“And yet the explanation does not wholly satisfy you? Very likely: to some phenomena there is, as yet, no explanation. Perhaps Newton himself could not explain quite to his own satisfaction why he was haunted at midnight by the spectrum of a sun; though I have no doubt that some later philosopher whose ingenuity has been stimulated by Newton’s account, has, by this time, suggested a rational solution of that enigma.(8) To return to your own case. I have offered such interpretations of the mysteries that confound you as appear to me authorized by physiological science. Should you adduce other facts which physiological science wants the data to resolve into phenomena always natural, however rare, still hold fast to that simple saying of Goethe: ‘Mysteries are not necessarily miracles.’ And if all which physiological science comprehends in its experience wholly fails us, I may then hazard certain conjectures in which, by acknowledging ignorance, one is compelled to recognize the Marvellous (for as where knowledge enters, the Marvellous recedes, so where knowledge falters, the Marvellous advances); yet still, even in those conjectures, I will distinguish the Marvellous from the Supernatural. But, for the present, I advise you to accept the guess that may best quiet the fevered imagination which any bolder guess would only more excite.”
“And yet the explanation doesn’t entirely satisfy you? That’s likely: for some phenomena, there just isn’t an explanation yet. Maybe Newton himself couldn’t fully explain why he was haunted at midnight by the spectrum of a sun; though I’m sure some later philosopher, inspired by Newton’s work, has by now proposed a logical solution to that mystery. To go back to your situation, I’ve provided interpretations of the mysteries that confuse you based on what I believe is backed by physiological science. If you bring up other facts that physiological science doesn’t have enough information to explain, remember that simple saying of Goethe: ‘Mysteries are not necessarily miracles.’ And if everything that physiological science understands fails us, I might venture some guesses where, by admitting ignorance, one must acknowledge the Marvelous (because as knowledge increases, the Marvelous diminishes, so when knowledge falters, the Marvelous grows); yet, even in those guesses, I will separate the Marvelous from the Supernatural. But for now, I suggest you accept the guess that calms your anxious imagination, as any bolder guess would only stir things up more.”
“You are right,” said I, rising proudly to the full height of my stature, my head erect and my heart defying. “And so let this subject be renewed no more between us. I will brood over it no more myself. I regain the unclouded realm of my human intelligence; and, in that intelligence, I mock the sorcerer and disdain the spectre.”
“You're right,” I said, standing tall with confidence, my head held high and my heart unbothered. “So let’s not bring this up again. I won't dwell on it anymore. I’m reclaiming the clear space of my own intelligence; and in that clarity, I mock the sorcerer and look down on the ghost.”
(1) Beattie’s “Essay on Truth,” part i. c. ii. 3. The story of Simon Browne is to be found in “The Adventurer.”
(1) Beattie’s “Essay on Truth,” part i. c. ii. 3. The story of Simon Browne can be found in “The Adventurer.”
(2) Miller’s Physiology of the Senses, p. 394.
(2) Miller’s Physiology of the Senses, p. 394.
(3) Abercrombie on the Intellectual Powers, p. 281. (15th edition.)
(3) Abercrombie on the Intellectual Powers, p. 281. (15th edition.)
(4) At the date of Faber’s conversation with Allen Fenwick, the (so-called) spirit manifestations had not spread from America over Europe. But if they had, Faber’s views would, no doubt, have remained the same.
(4) At the time of Faber’s conversation with Allen Fenwick, the (so-called) spirit manifestations had not spread from America to Europe. But if they had, Faber’s views would, without a doubt, have stayed the same.
(5) Abercrombie on the Intellectual Powers, p. 278. (15th edition.)
(5) Abercrombie on the Intellectual Powers, p. 278. (15th edition.)
This author, not more to be admired for his intelligence than his candour, and who is entitled to praise for a higher degree of original thought than that to which he modestly pretends, relates a curious anecdote illustrating “the analogy between dreaming and spectral illusion, which he received from the gentleman to which it occurred,—an eminent medical friend:” “Having sat up late one evening, under considerable anxiety for one of his children, who was ill, he fell asleep in his chair, and had a frightful dream, in which the prominent figure was an immense baboon. He awoke with the fright, got up instantly, and walked to a table which was in the middle of the room. He was then quite awake, and quite conscious of the articles around him; but close by the wall in the end of the apartment he distinctly saw the baboon making the same grimaces which he had seen in his dreams; and this spectre continued visible for about half a minute.” Now, a man who saw only a baboon would be quite ready to admit that it was but an optical illusion; but if, instead of a baboon, he had seen an intimate friend, and that friend, by some coincidence of time, had died about that date, he would be a very strong-minded man if he admitted for the mystery of seeing his friend the same natural solution which he would readily admit for seeing a baboon.
This author, equally to be admired for his intelligence and his honesty, deserves praise for a greater level of original thought than he humbly claims. He shares an interesting story illustrating “the connection between dreaming and hallucination,” which he heard from the gentleman who experienced it—an esteemed medical friend: “After staying up late one night, worried about one of his sick children, he fell asleep in his chair and had a terrifying dream featuring a huge baboon. He woke up in a panic, got up immediately, and walked to a table in the middle of the room. He was fully awake and aware of the items around him, but near the wall at the end of the room, he clearly saw the baboon making the same funny faces he had seen in his dream; and this apparition remained visible for about thirty seconds.” Now, a person who only saw a baboon would likely agree it was just an optical illusion; but if, instead of a baboon, he had seen a close friend who, coincidentally, had died around that time, he would need to be quite rational to accept the same natural explanation for seeing his friend that he would easily apply to seeing a baboon.
(6) See Muller’s observations on this phenomenon, “Physiology of the Senses,” Baley’s translation, p. 1395.
(6) See Muller’s observations on this phenomenon, “Physiology of the Senses,” Baley’s translation, p. 1395.
(7) Sir David Brewster’s Letters on Natural Magic, p. 39.
(7) Sir David Brewster’s Letters on Natural Magic, p. 39.
(8) Newton’s explanation is as follows: “This story I tell you to let you understand, that in the observation related by Mr. Boyle, the man’s fancy probably concurred with the impression made by the sun’s light to produce that phantasm of the sun which he constantly saw in bright objects, and so your question about the cause of this phantasm involves another about the power of the fancy, which I must confess is too hard a knot for me to untie. To place this effect in a constant motion is hard, because the sun ought then to appear perpetually. It seems rather to consist in a disposition of the sensorium to move the imagination strongly, and to be easily moved both by the imagination and by the light as often as bright objects are looked upon.”—Letter from Sir I. Newton to Locke, Lord Kinq’s Life of Locke, vol. i. pp. 405-408.
(8) Newton’s explanation is as follows: “I’m sharing this story to help you understand that in the observation mentioned by Mr. Boyle, the man’s imagination likely worked together with the sunlight to create the vision of the sun that he kept seeing in bright objects. So your question about the cause of this vision leads to another one about the power of the imagination, which I must admit is too complex for me to unravel. It’s challenging to make this effect continuous because the sun would then need to appear all the time. It feels more like a tendency of the mind to strongly stimulate the imagination and be easily influenced by both the imagination and the light whenever bright objects are looked at.”—Letter from Sir I. Newton to Locke, Lord Kinq’s Life of Locke, vol. i. pp. 405-408.
Dr. Roget (Animal and Vegetable Physiology considered with reference to Natural Theology, “Bridgewater Treatise,” pp. 524, 525) thus refers to this phenomenon, which he states “all of us may experience “:—
Dr. Roget (Animal and Vegetable Physiology considered with reference to Natural Theology, “Bridgewater Treatise,” pp. 524, 525) describes this phenomenon, which he says “all of us may experience”:—
“When the impressions are very vivid” (Dr. Roget is speaking of visual impressions), “another phenomenon often takes place,—namely, their subsequent recurrence after a certain interval, during which they are not felt, and quite independently of any renewed application of the cause which had originally excited them.” (I mark by italics the words which more precisely coincide with Julius Faber’s explanations.) “If, for example, we look steadfastly at the sun for a second or two, and then immediately close our eyes, the image, or spectrum, of the sun remains for a long time present to the mind, as if the light were still acting on the retina. It then gradually fades and disappears; but if we continue to keep the eyes shut, the same impression will, after a certain time, recur, and again vanish: and this phenomenon will be repeated at intervals, the sensation becoming fainter at each renewal. It is probable that these reappearances of the image, after the light which produced the original impression has been withdrawn, are occasioned by spontaneous affections of the retina itself which are conveyed to the sensorium. In other cases, where the impressions are less strong, the physical changes producing these changes are perhaps confined to the sensorium.”
“When the impressions are very vivid” (Dr. Roget is talking about visual impressions), “another phenomenon often occurs—specifically, their subsequent recurrence after a certain interval, during which they are not felt, and quite independently of any renewed application of the cause that originally triggered them.” (I highlight in italics the words that align more closely with Julius Faber’s explanations.) “For instance, if we stare at the sun for a second or two and then immediately close our eyes, the image, or spectrum, of the sun stays in our mind for a long time, as if the light is still affecting the retina. It then gradually fades away; but if we keep our eyes closed, the same impression will, after a while, reappear and then disappear again: this phenomenon will repeat at intervals, with the sensation becoming fainter each time. It’s likely that these reappearances of the image, after the light that created the original impression is gone, are caused by spontaneous reactions of the retina itself, which are transmitted to the sensorium. In other cases, where the impressions are less intense, the physical changes producing these sensations may be limited to the sensorium.”
It may be said that there is this difference between the spectrum of the sun and such a phantom as that which perplexed Allen Fenwick,—namely, that the sun has been actually beheld before its visionary appearance can be reproduced, and that Allen Fenwick only imagines he has seen the apparition which repeats itself to his fancy. “But there are grounds for the suspicion” (says Dr. Hibbert, “Philosophy of Apparitions,” p. 250), “that when ideas of vision are vivified to the height of sensation, a corresponding affection of the optic nerve accompanies the illusion.” Muller (“Physiology of the Senses,” p. 1392, Baley’s translation) states the same opinion still more strongly; and Sir David Brewster, quoted by Dr. Hibbert (p. 251) says: “In examining these mental impressions, I have found that they follow the motions of the eyeball exactly like the spectral impressions of luminous objects, and that they resemble them also in their apparent immobility when the eye is displaced by an external force. If this result (which I state with much diffidence, from having only my own experience in its favour) shall be found generally true by others, it will follow that the objects of mental contemplation may be seen as distinctly as external objects, and will occupy the same local position in the axis of vision, as if they had been formed by the agency of light.” Hence the impression of an image once conveyed to the senses, no matter how, whether by actual or illusory vision, is liable to renewal, “independently of any renewed application of the cause which had originally excited it,” and the image can be seen in that renewal “as distinctly as external objects,” for indeed “the revival of the fantastic figure really does affect those points of the retina which had been previously impressed.”
It can be said that there is a difference between the sun’s spectrum and an illusion like the one that troubled Allen Fenwick—specifically, that the sun has actually been seen before its visual representation can be recreated, while Allen Fenwick only imagines he has seen the phantom that reappears in his mind. “But there are reasons to be suspicious” (says Dr. Hibbert, “Philosophy of Apparitions,” p. 250), “that when visual thoughts are vivid enough to feel like sensation, there’s a corresponding effect on the optic nerve that comes with the illusion.” Muller (“Physiology of the Senses,” p. 1392, Baley’s translation) expresses this opinion even more strongly; and Sir David Brewster, as quoted by Dr. Hibbert (p. 251), states: “In examining these mental impressions, I’ve found that they move with the eyeball just like the spectral impressions of bright objects, and they also resemble these impressions in their apparent stillness when the eye is moved by an external force. If this finding (which I present with great hesitation, since it’s based solely on my own experience) is confirmed by others, it will suggest that the things we mentally contemplate can be seen as clearly as physical objects, and will occupy the same position in our line of sight, as if they were created by light.” Thus, once an image is conveyed to our senses, whether through real or illusory vision, it can be revived “without having to reintroduce the original cause that triggered it,” and that renewed image can be seen “as clearly as physical objects,” since “the revival of the imagined figure truly does impact those areas of the retina that had been previously stimulated.”
CHAPTER XLVI.
Julius Faber and Amy Lloyd stayed in my house three days, I and in their presence I felt a healthful sense of security and peace. Amy wished to visit her father’s house, and I asked Faber, in taking her there, to seize the occasion to see Lilian, that he might communicate to me his impression of a case so peculiar. I prepared Mrs. Ashleigh for this visit by a previous note. When the old man and the child came back, both brought me comfort. Amy was charmed with Lilian, who had received her with the sweetness natural to her real character, and I loved to hear Lilian’s praise from those innocent lips.
Julius Faber and Amy Lloyd stayed at my house for three days, and having them around made me feel a comforting sense of security and peace. Amy wanted to visit her father's house, so I asked Faber, while taking her there, to take the chance to see Lilian and share his thoughts on such an unusual situation. I prepared Mrs. Ashleigh for this visit with a note beforehand. When the old man and the child returned, both brought me comfort. Amy was enchanted by Lilian, who welcomed her with the warmth that came naturally from her true character, and I loved hearing Lilian's praises from those innocent lips.
Faber’s report was still more calculated to console me.
Faber’s report was even more intended to comfort me.
“I have seen, I have conversed with her long and familiarly. You were quite right,—there is no tendency to consumption in that exquisite, if delicate, organization; nor do I see cause for the fear to which your statement had pre-inclined me. That head is too nobly formed for any constitutional cerebral infirmity. In its organization, ideality, wonder, veneration, are large, it is true, but they are balanced by other organs, now perhaps almost dormant, but which will come into play as life passes from romance into duty. Something at this moment evidently oppresses her mind. In conversing with her, I observe abstraction, listlessness; but I am so convinced of her truthfulness, that if she has once told you she returned your affection, and pledged to you her faith, I should, in your place, rest perfectly satisfied that whatever be the cloud that now rests on her imagination, and for the time obscures the idea of yourself, it will pass away.”
“I’ve seen her and talked with her a lot. You were completely right—there's no sign of consumption in that beautiful, though delicate, body; and I don’t see any reason for the worry your statement had led me to feel. That head is too well-shaped for any serious brain issue. It's true that her idealism, wonder, and respect are quite prominent in her character, but they’re balanced by other traits that might be a bit dormant right now but will emerge as her life shifts from romance to responsibility. Something is clearly weighing on her mind at this moment. When I talk to her, I notice she seems lost in thought and indifferent; but I truly believe in her honesty, so if she has told you that she loves you back and committed to you, I would, if I were you, feel completely assured that whatever cloud currently shadows her thoughts and makes her forget you for now will eventually clear.”
Faber was a believer in the main divisions of phrenology, though he did not accept all the dogmas of Gall and Spurzheim; while, to my mind, the refutation of phrenology in its fundamental propositions had been triumphantly established by the lucid arguments of Sir W. Hamilton.(1) But when Faber rested on phrenological observations assurances in honour of Lilian, I forgot Sir W. Hamilton, and believed in phrenology. As iron girders and pillars expand and contract with the mere variations of temperature, so will the strongest conviction on which the human intellect rests its judgment vary with the changes of the human heart; and the building is only safe where these variations are foreseen and allowed for by a wisdom intent on self-knowledge.(2)
Faber believed in the main ideas of phrenology, though he didn’t accept all the beliefs of Gall and Spurzheim; however, I think that the arguments from Sir W. Hamilton effectively disproved phrenology’s core claims. But when Faber appealed to phrenological observations to support Lilian, I forgot about Sir W. Hamilton and believed in phrenology. Just as iron beams and columns expand and contract with changes in temperature, the strongest beliefs that guide human judgment can shift with the emotions of the heart; thus, structures are only secure when these fluctuations are anticipated and accounted for by a wisdom focused on self-understanding.
There was much in the affection that had sprung up between Julius Faber and Amy Lloyd which touched my heart and softened all its emotions. This man, unblessed, like myself, by conjugal and parental ties, had, in his solitary age, turned for solace to the love of a child, as I, in the pride of manhood, had turned to the love of woman. But his love was without fear, without jealousy, without trouble. My sunshine came to me in a fitful ray, through clouds that had gathered over my noon; his sunshine covered all his landscape, hallowed and hallowing by the calm of declining day.
There was a lot in the bond that had developed between Julius Faber and Amy Lloyd that moved me and softened all my feelings. This man, like me, lacking the blessings of marriage and parenthood, had, in his lonely years, sought comfort in the love of a child, just as I, in my manhood, had sought comfort in the love of a woman. But his love was free of fear, jealousy, and worry. My happiness came to me in fleeting moments, through clouds that had formed over my brightest days; his happiness illuminated his entire life, blessed and blessing in the serenity of the setting sun.
And Amy was no common child. She had no exuberant imagination; she was haunted by no whispers from Afar; she was a creature fitted for the earth,—to accept its duties and to gladden its cares. Her tender observation, fine and tranquil, was alive to all the important household trifles by which, at the earliest age, man’s allotted soother asserts her privilege to tend and to comfort. It was pleasant to see her moving so noiselessly through the rooms I had devoted to her venerable protector, knowing all his simple wants, and providing for them as if by the mechanism of a heart exquisitely moulded to the loving uses of life. Sometimes when I saw her setting his chair by the window (knowing, as I did, how much he habitually loved to be near the light) and smoothing his papers (in which he was apt to be unmethodical), placing the mark in his book when he ceased to read, divining, almost without his glance, some wish passing through his mind, and then seating herself at his feet, often with her work—which was always destined for him or for one of her absent brothers,—now and then with the one small book that she had carried with her, a selection of Bible stories compiled for children,—sometimes when I saw her thus, how I wished that Lilian, too, could have seen her, and have compared her own ideal fantasies with those young developments of the natural heavenly Woman!
And Amy was no ordinary child. She didn’t have a wild imagination; she wasn’t haunted by distant voices; she was a being made for the earth—ready to take on its responsibilities and bring joy to its challenges. Her gentle observations, calm and insightful, were attuned to all the little household details that, from a very young age, allowed her to embrace her role in caring and comforting. It was lovely to watch her move quietly through the rooms I had set aside for her elderly guardian, aware of all his basic needs, and fulfilling them as if her heart was perfectly shaped for the loving tasks of life. Sometimes when I saw her arranging his chair by the window (knowing as I did how much he enjoyed being near the light) and straightening his scattered papers, placing a bookmark in his book when he paused his reading, almost reading his thoughts without him saying a word, and then settling at his feet, often with her sewing—which was always meant for him or one of her absent brothers—or occasionally with the one little book she brought along, a collection of Bible stories for kids—sometimes when I saw her like this, I wished that Lilian could have seen her too, and compared her own ideal fantasies with these genuine traits of the natural, heavenly Woman!
But was there nothing in that sight from which I, proud of my arid reason even in its perplexities, might have taken lessons for myself?
But was there really nothing in that sight that I, confident in my dry logic even when confused, could have learned from?
On the second evening of Faber’s visit I brought to him the draft of deeds for the sale of his property. He had never been a man of business out of his profession; he was impatient to sell his property, and disposed to accept an offer at half its value. I insisted on taking on myself the task of negotiator; perhaps, too, in this office I was egotistically anxious to prove to the great physician that which he believed to be my “hallucination” had in no way obscured my commonsense in the daily affairs of life. So I concluded, and in a few hours, terms for his property that were only just, but were infinitely more advantageous than had appeared to himself to be possible. But as I approached him with the papers, he put his finger to his lips. Amy was standing by him with her little book in her hand, and his own Bible lay open on the table. He was reading to her from the Sacred Volume itself, and impressing on her the force and beauty of one of the Parables, the adaptation of which had perplexed her; when he had done, she kissed him, bade him goodnight, and went away to rest. Then said Faber thoughtfully, and as if to himself more than me,—
On the second evening of Faber’s visit, I brought him the draft of the deeds for the sale of his property. He had never been involved in business outside his profession; he was eager to sell his property and willing to accept an offer at half its value. I insisted on taking on the role of negotiator; perhaps, too, I was selfishly eager to show the great physician that what he considered my “hallucination” hadn’t clouded my common sense in everyday matters. So, I went ahead and, in a few hours, secured terms for his property that were fair but far better than he thought possible. As I approached him with the papers, he put his finger to his lips. Amy was standing beside him with her little book in her hand, and his own Bible lay open on the table. He was reading to her from the Sacred Volume, emphasizing the power and beauty of one of the Parables that had confused her. When he finished, she kissed him, said goodnight, and went off to rest. Then Faber said thoughtfully, almost to himself more than to me,—
“What a lovely bridge between old age and childhood is religion! How intuitively the child begins with prayer and worship on entering life, and how intuitively on quitting life the old man turns back to prayer and worship, putting himself again side by side with the infant!”
“What a beautiful connection between old age and childhood is religion! How naturally the child starts with prayer and worship when entering life, and how naturally the old man returns to prayer and worship when leaving life, placing himself once again alongside the infant!”
I made no answer, but, after a pause, spoke of fines and freeholds, title-deeds and money; and when the business on hand was concluded, asked my learned guest if, before he departed, he would deign to look over the pages of my ambitious Physiological Work. There were parts of it on which I much desired his opinion, touching on subjects in which his special studies made him an authority as high as our land possessed.
I didn't answer right away, but after a moment, I brought up fines and property rights, title deeds, and money. Once we finished discussing the matter at hand, I asked my knowledgeable guest if he would take a look at the pages of my ambitious Physiological Work before he left. There were sections where I really wanted his feedback, especially on topics where his expertise made him one of the leading authorities in our country.
He made me bring him the manuscript, and devoted much of that night and the next day to its perusal.
He made me bring him the manuscript and spent a lot of that night and the next day reading it.
When he gave it me back, which was not till the morning of his departure, he commenced with eulogies on the scope of its design, and the manner of its execution, which flattered my vanity so much that I could not help exclaiming, “Then, at least, there is no trace of ‘hallucination’ here!”
When he returned it to me, not until the morning of his departure, he started with praises about the depth of its design and how well it was executed. His flattery boosted my ego so much that I couldn’t help but exclaim, “So, at least, there’s no sign of ‘hallucination’ here!”
“Alas, my poor Allen! here, perhaps, hallucination, or self-deception, is more apparent than in all the strange tales you confided to me. For here is the hallucination of the man seated on the shores of Nature, and who would say to its measureless sea, ‘So far shalt thou go and no farther;’ here is the hallucination of the creature, who, not content with exploring the laws of the Creator, ends with submitting to his interpretation of some three or four laws, in the midst of a code of which all the rest are in a language unknown to him, the powers and free-will of the Lawgiver Himself; here is the hallucination by which Nature is left Godless, because Man is left soulless. What would matter all our speculations on a Deity who would cease to exist for us when we are in the grave? Why mete out, like Archytas, the earth and the sea, and number the sands on the shore that divides them, if the end of this wisdom be a handful of dust sprinkled over a skull!
“Poor Allen! Here, maybe, illusion or self-deception is clearer than in all the strange stories you shared with me. Here we see the illusion of a person sitting by the vastness of Nature, telling its endless sea, ‘You can go this far and not any further;’ here is the illusion of someone who, instead of exploring the Creator's laws, ends up limiting themselves to just a few interpretations in a code where the rest are in a language they don’t understand, including the powers and free will of the Lawgiver Himself; here is the illusion that leaves Nature without God because it leaves Man without a soul. What does it matter if we speculate about a Deity who would no longer exist for us once we’re in the grave? Why measure out, like Archytas, the land and the ocean, and count the grains of sand on the divide, if all this knowledge ends with a handful of dust on a skull?!”
“‘Nec quidquam tibi prodest Aerias tentasse dornos, animoque rotundum Percurrisse polum naorituro.’
“‘Nothing is of any use to you if you have tried to reach the lofty heights, but have only traveled in your mind around the round world for nothing.’”
“Your book is a proof of the soul that you fail to discover. Without a soul, no man would work for a Future that begins for his fame when the breath is gone from his body. Do you remember how you saw that little child praying at the grave of her father? Shall I tell you that in her simple orisons she prayed for the benefactor,—who had cared for the orphan; who had reared over dust that tomb which, in a Christian burial-ground, is a mute but perceptible memorial of Christian hopes; that the child prayed, haughty man, for you? And you sat by, knowing nought of this; sat by, amongst the graves, troubled and tortured with ghastly doubts, vain of a reason that was sceptical of eternity, and yet shaken like a reed by a moment’s marvel. Shall I tell the child to pray for you no more; that you disbelieve in a soul? If you do so, what is the efficacy of prayer? Speak, shall I tell her this? Shall the infant pray for you never more?”
“Your book is proof of the soul that you fail to see. Without a soul, no one would work for a future that starts for their fame when they breathe their last. Do you remember seeing that little girl praying at her father's grave? Should I tell you that in her simple prayers, she asked for the benefactor—who cared for the orphan, who raised that tomb over the dust, which, in a Christian burial ground, is a quiet but noticeable symbol of Christian hopes; that the child prayed, proud man, for you? And you sat there, knowing nothing of this; sat among the graves, troubled and tortured by horrifying doubts, vain about a reason that questioned eternity, yet shaken like a reed by a brief moment of wonder. Should I tell the child to stop praying for you because you don’t believe in a soul? If so, what’s the point of prayer? Speak, should I tell her this? Should the little one never pray for you again?”
I was silent; I was thrilled.
I was quiet; I was excited.
“Has it never occurred to you, who, in denying all innate perceptions as well as ideas, have passed on to deductions from which poor Locke, humble Christian that he was, would have shrunk in dismay,—has it never occurred to you as a wonderful fact, that the easiest thing in the world to teach a child is that which seems to metaphysical schoolmen the abstrusest of all problems? Read all those philosophers wrangling about a First Cause, deciding on what are miracles, and then again deciding that such miracles cannot be; and when one has answered another, and left in the crucible of wisdom a caput mortuum of ignorance, then turn your eyes, and look at the infant praying to the invisible God at his mother’s knees. This idea, so miraculously abstract, of a Power the infant has never seen, that cannot be symbolled forth and explained to him by the most erudite sage,—a Power, nevertheless, that watches over him, that hears him, that sees him, that will carry him across the grave, that will enable him to live on forever,—this double mystery of a Divinity and of a Soul, the infant learns with the most facile readiness, at the first glimpse of his reasoning faculty. Before you can teach him a rule in addition, before you can venture to drill him into his horn-book, he leaps, with one intuitive spring of all his ideas, to the comprehension of the truths which are only incomprehensible to blundering sages! And you, as you stand before me, dare not say, ‘Let the child pray for me no more!’ But will the Creator accept the child’s prayer for the man who refuses prayer for himself? Take my advice, pray! And in this counsel I do not overstep my province. I speak not as a preacher, but as a physician. For health is a word that comprehends our whole organization, and a just equilibrium of all faculties and functions is the condition of health. As in your Lilian the equilibrium is deranged by the over-indulgence of a spiritual mysticism which withdraws from the nutriment of duty the essential pabulum of sober sense, so in you the resolute negation of disciplined spiritual communion between Thought and Divinity robs imagination of its noblest and safest vent. Thus, from opposite extremes, you and your Lilian meet in the same region of mist and cloud, losing sight of each other and of the true ends of life, as her eyes only gaze on the stars and yours only bend to the earth. Were I advising her, I should say: ‘Your Creator has placed the scene of your trial below, and not in the stars.’ Advising you, I say: ‘But in the trial below, man should recognize education for heaven.’ In a word, I would draw somewhat more downward her fancy, raise somewhat more upward your reason. Take my advice then,—Pray. Your mental system needs the support of prayer in order to preserve its balance. In the embarrassment and confusion of your senses, clearness of perception will come with habitual and tranquil confidence in Him who alike rules the universe and reads the heart. I only say here what has been said much better before by a reasoner in whom all Students of Nature recognize a guide. I see on your table the very volume of Bacon which contains the passage I commend to your reflection. Here it is. Listen: ‘Take an example of a dog, and mark what a generosity and courage he will put on when he finds himself maintained by a man who, to him, is instead of a God, or melior natura, which courage is manifestly such as that creature, without that confidence of a better nature than his own, could never attain. So man, when he resteth and assureth himself upon Divine protection and favour, gathereth a force and faith which human nature could not obtain.‘(3) You are silent, but your gesture tells me your doubt,—a doubt which your heart, so femininely tender, will not speak aloud lest you should rob the old man of a hope with which your strength of manhood dispenses,—you doubt the efficacy of prayer! Pause and reflect, bold but candid inquirer into the laws of that guide you call Nature. If there were no efficacy in prayer; if prayer were as mere an illusion of superstitious fantasy as aught against which your reason now struggles, do you think that Nature herself would have made it amongst the most common and facile of all her dictates? Do you believe that if there really did not exist that tie between Man and his Maker—that link between life here and life hereafter which is found in what we call Soul alone—that wherever you look through the universe, you would behold a child at Prayer? Nature inculcates nothing that is superfluous. Nature does not impel the leviathan or the lion, the eagle or the moth, to pray; she impels only man. Why? Because man only has soul, and Soul seeks to commune with the Everlasting, as a fountain struggles up to its source. Burn your book. It would found you a reputation for learning and intellect and courage, I allow; but learning and intellect and courage wasted against a truth, like spray against a rock! A truth valuable to the world, the world will never part with. You will not injure the truth, but you will mislead and may destroy many, whose best security is in the truth which you so eruditely insinuate to be a fable. Soul and Hereafter are the heritage of all men; the humblest, journeyman in those streets, the pettiest trader behind those counters, have in those beliefs their prerogatives of royalty. You would dethrone and embrute the lords of the earth by your theories. For my part, having given the greater part of my life to the study and analysis of facts, I would rather be the author of the tritest homily, or the baldest poem, that inculcated that imperishable essence of the soul to which I have neither scalpel nor probe, than be the founder of the subtlest school, or the framer of the loftiest verse, that robbed my fellow-men of their faith in a spirit that eludes the dissecting-knife,—in a being that escapes the grave-digger. Burn your book! Accept This Book instead; Read and Pray.”
“Has it ever crossed your mind, you who deny all innate perceptions and ideas, and have resorted to deductions that would shock poor Locke, humble Christian that he was—has it ever struck you as amazing that the easiest thing in the world to teach a child is what seems to philosophical scholars to be the most complex of all problems? Look at all those philosophers arguing about a First Cause, determining what miracles are, and then deciding that those miracles cannot exist; when one answers another and leaves behind a residue of ignorance in the crucible of wisdom, then turn your gaze and see the child praying to the unseen God at his mother’s knees. This idea, so incredibly abstract, of a Power the child has never seen, that cannot be symbolically expressed or explained by even the most learned sage—a Power that watches over him, hears him, sees him, that will guide him beyond the grave, that will help him live on forever—this double mystery of a Divine and a Soul, the child learns with remarkable ease at the first hint of his reasoning ability. Before you can teach him how to add, before you can even think about drilling him on his alphabet, he instinctively leaps to understand truths that are only incomprehensible to clumsy sages! And you, standing before me, won’t dare say, ‘Let the child stop praying for me!’ But will the Creator accept the child's prayer for a man who refuses to pray for himself? Take my advice, pray! And in this advice, I’m not overstepping my bounds. I’m not speaking as a preacher, but as a doctor. For health, in its broadest sense, encompasses our entire being, and a proper balance of all faculties and functions is the key to health. Just as in your Lilian the balance is disrupted by an excess of spiritual mysticism that withdraws from the nourishment of duty the essential substance of common sense, in you, the outright rejection of a disciplined spiritual connection between Thought and Divinity deprives imagination of its greatest and safest outlet. Thus, from opposite extremes, you and your Lilian meet in the same clouded space, losing sight of each other and the true purposes of life, as her eyes only gaze up at the stars and yours only look down to the earth. If I were advising her, I would say: ‘Your Creator has placed your tests below, not in the stars.’ Advising you, I say: ‘But in the tests below, man should recognize his education for heaven.’ In summary, I would encourage her imagination to be somewhat more grounded, and your reason to be somewhat more elevated. So, take my advice—pray. Your mental state needs the support of prayer to maintain its balance. Amid the chaos and confusion of your senses, clarity of perception will come with steady and calm faith in the one who governs the universe and understands the heart. I’m only echoing what has been said much more eloquently by a thinker that all Students of Nature recognize as a guide. I see on your table the very book by Bacon that contains the passage I urge you to reflect on. Here it is. Listen: ‘Take an example of a dog, and notice the generosity and courage he displays when he feels supported by a man who is like a God to him, or a better nature, which courage is clearly something that creature, without that confidence in a superior nature, could never achieve. Likewise, man, when he rests and assures himself of Divine protection and favor, gathers a strength and faith that human nature alone cannot obtain.’ You’re silent, but your body language reveals your doubt—a doubt that your tender-hearted nature won’t express out loud, lest you take away hope from the elder that your strength as a man won't support—you doubt the power of prayer! Pause and think, brave yet honest seeker of the laws of what you call Nature. If prayer had no power; if it were just an illusion of superstitious belief, as you currently struggle against, do you think that Nature herself would have made it one of her most common and easiest commands? Do you really believe that if there were no connection between Man and his Maker—that link between this life and the next, found only in what we call the Soul—that wherever you looked in the universe, you would not find a child at prayer? Nature doesn’t impose anything unnecessary. Nature doesn’t compel the leviathan or the lion, the eagle or the moth, to pray; she compels only man. Why? Because man alone has a soul, and the Soul seeks to connect with the Eternal, just as a spring strives to reach its source. Burn your book. It may earn you a reputation for learning and intellect and courage, I admit; but intelligence and bravery wasted against a truth is like spray against a rock! A truth valuable to the world will never be relinquished. You won’t harm the truth, but you could mislead and potentially destroy many, whose best refuge lies in the truth that you so cleverly suggest is a fable. The Soul and the Hereafter are the birthright of all people; the humblest worker in those streets, the smallest merchant behind those counters, possess in those beliefs their royal privileges. You would dethrone and degrade the rulers of the earth with your theories. For my part, having devoted most of my life to studying and analyzing facts, I would rather be the author of the simplest homily or the plainest poem that instills the enduring essence of the soul, to which I have no scalpel or probe, than to be the founder of the most refined school or the creator of the most prestigious verse that robs my fellow humans of their belief in a spirit that eludes dissection—a being that escapes the grave-digger. Burn your book! Accept This Book instead; Read and Pray.”
He placed his Bible in my hand, embraced me, and, an hour afterwards, the old man and the child left my hearth solitary once more.
He put his Bible in my hand, hugged me, and an hour later, the old man and the child left my home alone once again.
(1) The summary of this distinguished lecturer’s objections to phrenology is to be found in the Appendix to vol i. of “Lectures on Metaphysics,” p. 404, et seq. Edition 1859.
(1) You can find the summary of this esteemed lecturer's objections to phrenology in the Appendix of vol i. of “Lectures on Metaphysics,” p. 404, et seq. Edition 1859.
(2) The change of length of iron girders caused by variation of temperature has not unfrequently brought down the whole edifice into which they were admitted. Good engineers and architects allow for such changes produced by temperature. In the tubular bridge across the Menai Straits, a self-acting record of the daily amount of its contraction and expansion is ingeniously Contrived.
(2) The change in length of iron girders due to temperature fluctuations has often caused the entire structure they were part of to collapse. Good engineers and architects account for these temperature-induced changes. In the tubular bridge across the Menai Straits, there's a clever system that automatically records its daily contraction and expansion.
(3) Bacon’s “Essay on Atheism.” This quotation is made with admirable felicity and force by Dr. Whewell, page 378 of Bridgewater Treatise on Astronomy and General Physics considered with reference to Natural Theology.
(3) Bacon’s “Essay on Atheism.” This quote is highlighted with remarkable clarity and strength by Dr. Whewell, on page 378 of the Bridgewater Treatise on Astronomy and General Physics considered in relation to Natural Theology.
CHAPTER XLVII.
That night, as I sat in my study, very thoughtful and very mournful, I resolved all that Julius Faber had said; and the impression his words had produced became gradually weaker and weaker, as my reason, naturally combative, rose up with all the replies which my philosophy suggested. No; if my imagination had really seduced and betrayed me into monstrous credulities, it was clear that the best remedy to such morbid tendencies towards the Superstitious was in the severe exercise of the faculties most opposed to Superstition,—in the culture of pure reasoning, in the science of absolute fact. Accordingly, I placed before me the very book which Julius Faber had advised me to burn; I forced all my powers of mind to go again over the passages which contained the doctrines that his admonition had censured; and before daybreak, I had stated the substance of his argument, and the logical reply to it, in an elaborate addition to my chapter on “Sentimental Philosophers.” While thus rejecting the purport of his parting counsels, I embodied in another portion of my work his views on my own “illusions;” and as here my commonsense was in concord with his, I disposed of all my own previous doubts in an addition to my favourite chapter “On the Cheats of the Imagination.” And when the pen dropped from my hand, and the day-star gleamed through the window, my heart escaped from the labour of my mind, and flew back to the image of Lilian. The pride of the philosopher died out of me, the sorrow of the man reigned supreme, and I shrank from the coming of the sun, despondent.
That night, as I sat in my study, feeling both thoughtful and mournful, I figured out everything Julius Faber had said. The impact of his words gradually faded as my naturally combative reasoning kicked in, bringing up all the responses my philosophy suggested. No; if my imagination had truly led me into ridiculous beliefs, it was clear that the best way to counter such unhealthy tendencies toward superstition was through the rigorous use of the faculties most opposed to it—in cultivating pure reasoning and the science of factual reality. So, I pulled out the very book that Julius Faber had advised me to burn; I pushed my mind to go over the passages that contained the doctrines he had criticized, and before dawn, I had summarized the essence of his argument and my logical reply in an elaborate addition to my chapter on “Sentimental Philosophers.” While rejecting the essence of his final advice, I included in another part of my work his views on my own “illusions”; and since my common sense aligned with his here, I resolved all my previous doubts in an addition to my favorite chapter “On the Cheats of the Imagination.” And when the pen dropped from my hand and the morning star shone through the window, my heart broke free from the labor of my mind and returned to the image of Lilian. The pride of the philosopher faded from me, the sorrow of the man took over, and I braced myself against the coming of the sun, feeling despondent.
CHAPTER XLVIII.
Not till the law had completed its proceedings, and satisfied the public mind as to the murder of Sir Philip Derval, were the remains of the deceased consigned to the family mausoleum. The funeral was, as may be supposed, strictly private, and when it was over, the excitement caused by an event so tragical and singular subsided. New topics engaged the public talk, and—in my presence, at least—the delicate consideration due to one whose name had been so painfully mixed up in the dismal story forbore a topic which I could not be expected to hear without distressful emotion. Mrs. Ashleigh I saw frequently at my own house; she honestly confessed that Lilian had not shown that grief at the cancelling of our engagement which would alone justify Mrs. Ashleigh in asking me again to see her daughter, and retract my conclusions against our union. She said that Lilian was quiet, not uncheerful, never spoke of me nor of Margrave, but seemed absent and pre-occupied as before, taking pleasure in nothing that had been wont to please her; not in music, nor books, nor that tranquil pastime which women call work, and in which they find excuse to meditate, in idleness, their own fancies. She rarely stirred out, even in the garden; when she did, her eyes seemed to avoid the house in which Margrave had lodged, and her steps the old favourite haunt by the Monks’ Well. She would remain silent for long hours together, but the silence did not appear melancholy. For the rest, her health was more than usually good. Still Mrs. Ashleigh persisted in her belief that, sooner or later, Lilian would return to her former self, her former sentiments for me; and she entreated me not, as yet, to let the world know that our engagement was broken off. “For if,” she said, with good sense, “if it should prove not to be broken off, only suspended, and afterwards happily renewed, there will be two stories to tell when no story be needed. Besides, I should dread the effect on Lilian, if offensive gossips babbled to her on a matter that would excite so much curiosity as the rupture of a union in which our neighbours have taken so general an interest.”
Not until the law had finished its investigations and reassured the public about the murder of Sir Philip Derval were the remains of the deceased laid to rest in the family mausoleum. The funeral was, as you can imagine, completely private, and when it was over, the shock from such a tragic and unusual event faded away. New topics took over public conversation, and—at least when I was around—the careful consideration due to someone whose name had been so sadly involved in the grim story kept us from discussing a subject I couldn’t hear about without feeling deeply upset. I often saw Mrs. Ashleigh at my house; she honestly admitted that Lilian hadn’t shown the kind of grief over the end of our engagement that would justify her asking me to see her daughter again and reconsider my decision against our union. She mentioned that Lilian was calm, not unhappy, never spoke of me or Margrave, but seemed distant and lost in thought as before, finding no joy in things that used to please her; not in music, books, or that serene activity which women call work, where they find an excuse to quietly reflect on their own thoughts. She rarely went out, even into the garden; when she did, her eyes seemed to avoid the house where Margrave had stayed and she steered clear of the old favorite spot by the Monks’ Well. She would sit in silence for long hours, but the quiet didn’t seem sorrowful. Aside from that, her health was somewhat better than usual. Still, Mrs. Ashleigh was convinced that sooner or later, Lilian would return to her old self, her previous feelings for me; and she urged me not to let the world know just yet that our engagement was over. “Because if,” she said sensibly, “if it turns out not to be completely over, just on hold, and then later happily resumed, there will be two stories to explain when no story is needed. Plus, I’d worry about how it would affect Lilian if gossips started talking to her about something that would stir so much curiosity as the breakup of a union that our neighbors have taken such a keen interest in.”
I had no reason to refuse acquiescence in Mrs. Ashleigh’s request, but I did not share in her hopes; I felt that the fair prospects of my life were blasted; I could never love another, never wed another; I resigned myself to a solitary hearth, rejoiced, at least, that Margrave had not revisited at Mrs. Ashleigh’s,—had not, indeed, reappeared in the town. He was still staying with Strahan, who told me that his guest had ensconced himself in Forman’s old study, and amused himself with reading—though not for long at a time—the curious old books and manuscripts found in the library, or climbing trees like a schoolboy, and familiarizing himself with the deer and the cattle, which would group round him quite tame, and feed from his hand. Was this the description of a criminal? But if Sir Philip’s assertion were really true; if the criminal were man without soul; if without soul, man would have no conscience, never be troubled by repentance, and the vague dread of a future world,—why, then, should not the criminal be gay despite his crimes, as the white bear gambols as friskly after his meal on human flesh? These questions would haunt me, despite my determination to accept as the right solution of all marvels the construction put on my narrative by Julius Faber.
I had no reason to say no to Mrs. Ashleigh’s request, but I didn’t share her hopes; I felt like my bright future had been ruined. I could never love anyone else, never marry again; I accepted that I'd lead a lonely life, at least glad that Margrave hadn’t come back to Mrs. Ashleigh’s place—he hadn’t even returned to the town. He was still with Strahan, who told me that Margrave had settled into Forman’s old study and entertained himself by reading—though not for long—old books and manuscripts from the library or climbing trees like a kid, getting familiar with the deer and cattle that approached him, totally tame, and ate from his hand. Was this how you’d describe a criminal? But if Sir Philip’s claim was true; if a criminal were a soulless man; if a soulless man had no conscience, would never feel guilty, and wouldn’t dread a future afterlife—then why shouldn’t a criminal be carefree despite his wrongdoings, just like a polar bear joyfully plays around after feasting on human flesh? These thoughts would linger in my mind, no matter how much I tried to accept Julius Faber’s interpretation of my story as the right answer to all the mysteries.
Days passed; I saw and heard nothing of Margrave. I began half to hope that, in the desultory and rapid changes of mood and mind which characterized his restless nature, he had forgotten my existence.
Days went by; I saw and heard nothing from Margrave. I started to half hope that, in the random and quick shifts of mood and thought that defined his restless personality, he had forgotten about me.
One morning I went out early on my rounds, when I met Straban unexpectedly.
One morning, I went out early to do my rounds when I ran into Straban unexpectedly.
“I was in search of you,” he said, “for more than one person has told me that you are looking ill and jaded. So you are! And the town now is hot and unhealthy. You must come to Derval Court for a week or so. You can ride into town every day to see your patients. Don’t refuse. Margrave, who is still with me, sends all kind messages, and bade me say that he entreats you to come to the house at which he also is a guest!”
“I’ve been looking for you,” he said, “because more than one person has told me that you’re not looking well and seem worn out. And it’s true! The town is really hot and unhealthy right now. You need to come to Derval Court for a week or so. You can ride into town every day to see your patients. Please don’t say no. Margrave, who’s still staying with me, sends all kinds of greetings and asked me to tell you that he really hopes you’ll come to the house where he’s also a guest!”
I started. What had the Scin-Laeca required of me, and obtained to that condition my promise? “If you are asked to the house at which I also am a guest, you will come; you will meet and converse with me as guest speaks to guest in the house of a host!” Was this one of the coincidences which my reason was bound to accept as coincidences, and nothing more? Tut, tut! Was I returning again to my “hallucinations”? Granting that Faber and common-sense were in the right, what was this Margrave? A man to whose friendship, acuteness, and energy I was under the deepest obligations,—to whom I was indebted for active services that had saved my life from a serious danger, acquitted my honour of a horrible suspicion. “I thank you,” I said to Strahan, “I will come; not, indeed, for a week, but, at all events, for a day or two.”
I began to think. What had the Scin-Laeca required of me, and what promise had I made in return? “If you’re invited to the house where I’m also a guest, you will come; you will meet and talk with me like guests do in the host’s house!” Was this just one of those coincidences that I had to accept as coincidences, and nothing more? Come on! Was I slipping back into my “hallucinations”? Assuming that Faber and common sense were right, what was this Margrave? A man to whom I owed my gratitude for his friendship, intelligence, and energy—he had done active things that saved my life from serious danger and cleared my honor from a terrible suspicion. “Thank you,” I said to Strahan, “I will come; not for a week, but at least for a day or two.”
“That’s right; I will call for you in the carriage at six o’clock. You will have done your day’s work by then?”
“That’s right; I will pick you up in the car at six o’clock. You will have finished your work for the day by then?”
“Yes; I will so arrange.”
"Yes, I will arrange that."
On our way to Derval Court that evening, Strahan talked much about Margrave, of whom, nevertheless, he seemed to be growing weary.
On our way to Derval Court that evening, Strahan talked a lot about Margrave, although he seemed to be getting tired of him.
“His high spirits are too much for one,” said he; “and then so restless,—so incapable of sustained quiet conversation. And, clever though he is, he can’t help me in the least about the new house I shall build. He has no notion of construction. I don’t think he could build a barn.”
“His high energy is overwhelming,” he said; “and he’s so restless—so unable to stay engaged in a calm conversation. And even though he’s clever, he can’t help me at all with the new house I want to build. He has no understanding of construction. I don’t think he could even build a barn.”
“I thought you did not like to demolish the old house, and would content yourself with pulling down the more ancient part of it?”
“I thought you didn't want to tear down the old house and would be satisfied with just taking down the older part of it?”
“True. At first it seemed a pity to destroy so handsome a mansion; but you see, since poor Sir Philip’s manuscript, on which he set such store, has been too mutilated, I fear, to allow me to effect his wish with regard to it, I think I ought at least scrupulously to obey his other whims. And, besides, I don’t know, there are odd noises about the old house. I don’t believe in haunted houses; still there is something dreary in strange sounds at the dead of night, even if made by rats, or winds through decaying rafters. You, I remember at college, had a taste for architecture, and can draw plans. I wish to follow out Sir Philip’s design, but on a smaller scale, and with more attention to comfort.”
“True. At first, it seemed a shame to tear down such a beautiful mansion; but you see, since poor Sir Philip’s manuscript, which meant so much to him, has been too damaged for me to fulfill his wishes about it, I think I should at least carefully follow his other requests. Besides, I keep hearing strange noises in the old house. I don’t believe in haunted places; still, there’s something unsettling about weird sounds in the dead of night, even if they’re just from rats or the wind blowing through rotting rafters. You, I remember from college, had a knack for architecture and can draw plans. I’d like to carry out Sir Philip’s design, but on a smaller scale and with more focus on comfort.”
Thus he continued to run on, satisfied to find me a silent and attentive listener. We arrived at the mansion an hour before sunset, the westering light shining full against the many windows cased in mouldering pilasters, and making the general dilapidation of the old place yet more mournfully evident.
Thus he kept talking, happy to see that I was a quiet and attentive listener. We got to the mansion an hour before sunset, with the setting sun’s light shining brightly against the many windows framed by decaying columns, making the overall disrepair of the old place even more sadly noticeable.
It was but a few minutes to the dinner-hour. I went up at once to the room appropriated to me,—not the one I had before occupied. Strahan had already got together a new establishment. I was glad to find in the servant who attended me an old acquaintance. He had been in my own employ when I first settled at L——, and left me to get married. He and his wife were now both in Strahan’s service. He spoke warmly of his new master and his contentment with his situation, while he unpacked my carpet-bag and assisted me to change my dress. But the chief object of his talk and his praise was Mr. Margrave.
It was just a few minutes until dinner time. I went straight up to the room assigned to me—not the one I had used before. Strahan had already set up a new place. I was happy to see that the servant attending to me was an old friend. He had worked for me when I first moved to L—— and left to get married. Now, he and his wife were both working for Strahan. He spoke highly of his new boss and his happiness with his job as he unpacked my suitcase and helped me change my clothes. But the main focus of his conversation and praise was Mr. Margrave.
“Such a bright young gentleman, like the first fine day in May!”
“Such a bright young man, like the first beautiful day in May!”
When I entered the drawing-room, Margrave and Strahan were both there. The former was blithe and genial, as usual, in his welcome. At dinner, and during the whole evening till we retired severally to our own rooms, he was the principal talker,—recounting incidents of travel, always very loosely strung together, jesting, good-humouredly enough, at Strahan’s sudden hobby for building, then putting questions to me about mutual acquaintances, but never waiting for an answer; and every now and then, as if at random, startling us with some brilliant aphorism, or some suggestion drawn from abstract science or unfamiliar erudition. The whole effect was sparkling, but I could well understand that, if long continued, it would become oppressive. The soul has need of pauses of repose,—intervals of escape, not only from the flesh, but even from the mind. A man of the loftiest intellect will experience times when mere intellect not only fatigues him, but amidst its most original conceptions, amidst its proudest triumphs, has a something trite and commonplace compared with one of those vague intimations of a spiritual destiny which are not within the ordinary domain of reason; and, gazing abstractedly into space, will leave suspended some problem of severest thought, or uncompleted some golden palace of imperial poetry, to indulge in hazy reveries, that do not differ from those of an innocent, quiet child! The soul has a long road to travel—from time through eternity. It demands its halting hours of contemplation. Contemplation is serene. But with such wants of an immortal immaterial spirit, Margrave had no fellowship, no sympathy; and for myself, I need scarcely add that the lines I have just traced I should not have written at the date at which my narrative has now arrived.
When I walked into the drawing room, Margrave and Strahan were both there. Margrave was cheerful and friendly, just like always, as he welcomed me. During dinner and throughout the evening until we each went to our separate rooms, he did most of the talking—sharing travel stories that were loosely connected, playfully teasing Strahan about his new interest in building, throwing questions my way about mutual friends without waiting for an answer; and every so often, he would surprise us with a clever saying or some idea drawn from abstract science or obscure knowledge. It was all quite dazzling, but I could easily see that if it went on for too long, it would become overwhelming. The soul needs moments of rest—times of escape, not just from the body but even from the mind. Even the most brilliant intellect faces times when just thinking can be tiring, and among its most original ideas, even its proudest victories, there can be something dull and ordinary compared to those vague hints of a spiritual purpose that lie beyond ordinary reason; and while lost in thought, a person might leave hanging a tough problem or an unfinished masterpiece of poetry to indulge in hazy daydreams, indistinguishable from those of a gentle, innocent child! The soul has a long journey—through time into eternity. It requires moments of quiet reflection. Reflection is peaceful. But Margrave had no connection, no understanding of these needs of an immortal spirit; and I should add that I wouldn’t have written the thoughts I've just expressed at the point my story has now reached.
CHAPTER XLIX.
I had no case that necessitated my return to L—— the following day. The earlier hours of the forenoon I devoted to Strahan and his building plans. Margrave flitted in and out of the room fitfully as an April sunbeam, sometimes flinging himself on a sofa, and reading for a few minutes one of the volumes of the ancient mystics, in which Sir Philip’s library was so rich. I remember it was a volume of Proclus. He read that crabbed and difficult Greek with a fluency that surprised me. “I picked up the ancient Greek,” said he, “years ago, in learning the modern.” But the book soon tired him; then he would come and disturb us, archly enjoying Strahan’s peevishness at interruption; then he would throw open the window and leap down, chanting one of his wild savage airs; and in another moment he was half hid under the drooping boughs of a broad lime-tree, amidst the antlers of deer that gathered fondly round him. In the afternoon my host was called away to attend some visitors of importance, and I found myself on the sward before the house, right in view of the mausoleum and alone with Margrave.
I had no reason to go back to L—— the next day. I spent the early hours of the morning with Strahan, talking about his building plans. Margrave darted in and out of the room like a flickering sunbeam, sometimes throwing himself onto a sofa and reading one of the volumes of ancient mystics that Sir Philip’s library had in abundance. I remember it was a book by Proclus. He read that difficult Greek with a fluency that amazed me. “I picked up ancient Greek,” he said, “years ago when I was learning modern Greek.” But the book didn’t hold his interest for long; then he would come and tease us, playfully enjoying Strahan’s annoyance at the interruptions; after that, he would fling open the window and jump out, singing one of his wild, tribal tunes; and in a moment, he was half-hidden under the drooping branches of a broad lime tree, surrounded by the deer that eagerly gathered around him. In the afternoon, my host was called away to attend to some important visitors, and I found myself on the lawn in front of the house, right in view of the mausoleum, alone with Margrave.
I turned my eyes from that dumb House of Death wherein rested the corpse of the last lord of the soil, so strangely murdered, with a strong desire to speak out to Margrave the doubts respecting himself that tortured me. But—setting aside the promise to the contrary, which I had given, or dreamed I had given, to the Luminous Shadow—to fulfil that desire would have been impossible,—impossible to any one gazing on that radiant youthful face! I think I see him now as I saw him then: a white doe, that even my presence could not scare away from him, clung lovingly to his side, looking up at him with her soft eyes. He stood there like the incarnate principle of mythological sensuous life. I have before applied to him that illustration; let the repetition be pardoned. Impossible, I repeat it, to say to that creature, face to face, “Art thou the master of demoniac arts, and the instigator of secret murder?” As if from redundant happiness within himself, he was humming, or rather cooing, a strain of music, so sweet, so wildly sweet, and so unlike the music one hears from tutored lips in crowded rooms! I passed my hand over my forehead in bewilderment and awe.
I turned my gaze from that terrible House of Death where the body of the last lord of the land lay, so strangely murdered, with a strong urge to voice to Margrave the doubts about him that tormented me. But—setting aside the promise to the contrary, which I had made, or thought I had made, to the Luminous Shadow—fulfilling that urge would have been impossible—impossible for anyone looking at that radiant youthful face! I can still picture him as I saw him then: a white doe, which my presence could not scare away, clung lovingly to his side, gazing up at him with her soft eyes. He stood there like the living embodiment of mythological sensuality. I’ve used that comparison before; forgive me for repeating it. It was impossible, I repeat, to ask that being, face to face, “Are you the master of dark arts and the instigator of secret murder?” As if filled with overwhelming happiness, he was humming, or rather cooing, a melody so sweet, so incredibly sweet, and so different from the music one hears from trained voices in crowded rooms! I ran my hand over my forehead in confusion and awe.
“Are there,” I said unconsciously,—“are there, indeed, such prodigies in Nature?”
“Are there,” I said without thinking, —“are there really such wonders in Nature?”
“Nature!” he cried, catching up the word; “talk to me of Nature! Talk of her, the wondrous blissful mother! Mother I may well call her. I am her spoiled child, her darling! But oh, to die, ever to die, ever to lose sight of Nature!—to rot senseless, whether under these turfs or within those dead walls—”
“Nature!” he exclaimed, grabbing onto the word; “tell me about Nature! Speak of her, the amazing, delightful mother! Mother, I can truly call her that. I am her pampered child, her favorite! But oh, to die, to constantly lose sight of Nature!—to decay mindlessly, whether beneath these grounds or inside those lifeless walls—”
I could not resist the answer,—
I couldn't resist the answer—
“Like yon murdered man! murdered, and by whom?”
“Like that murdered man! Murdered, and by whom?”
“By whom? I thought that was clearly proved.”
“By who? I thought that was clearly proven.”
“The hand was proved; what influence moved the hand?”
“The hand was shown; what force moved the hand?”
“Tush! the poor wretch spoke of a Demon. Who can tell? Nature herself is a grand destroyer. See that pretty bird, in its beak a writhing worm! All Nature’s children live to take life; none, indeed, so lavishly as man. What hecatombs slaughtered, not to satisfy the irresistible sting of hunger, but for the wanton ostentation of a feast, which he may scarcely taste, or for the mere sport that he finds in destroying! We speak with dread of the beasts of prey: what beast of prey is so dire a ravager as man,—so cruel and so treacherous? Look at yon flock of sheep, bred and fattened for the shambles; and this hind that I caress,—if I were the park-keeper, and her time for my bullet had come, would you think her life was the safer because, in my own idle whim, I had tamed her to trust to the hand raised to slay her?”
“Tush! The poor soul was talking about a Demon. Who can say? Nature itself is a great destroyer. Look at that pretty bird with a wriggling worm in its beak! All of Nature’s creatures live to take life; no one does it as freely as humans do. How many animals are slaughtered, not to satisfy a desperate hunger, but just to show off at a feast that they might barely enjoy, or for the simple thrill of killing? We speak with fear of predatory animals: what predator is more destructive than man—so cruel and so deceitful? Look at that flock of sheep, raised and fattened for slaughter; and this deer that I pet—if I were the park keeper and her time had come, would you think her life is any safer just because I’ve made her trust the hand that is raised to kill her?”
“It is true,” said I,—“a grim truth. Nature, on the surface so loving and so gentle, is full of terror in her deeps when our thought descends into their abyss!”
“It is true,” I said, “a harsh truth. Nature, seemingly so loving and gentle on the surface, is filled with terror in her depths when our thoughts dive into their abyss!”
Strahan now joined us with a party of country visitors. “Margrave is the man to show you the beauties of this park,” said he. “Margrave knows every bosk and dingle, twisted old thorn-tree, or opening glade, in its intricate, undulating ground.”
Strahan now came over with a group of visitors from the countryside. “Margrave is the person to show you the beauty of this park,” he said. “Margrave knows every thicket and hollow, every gnarled old thorn tree, and every clearing in its complex, rolling landscape.”
Margrave seemed delighted at this proposition; and as he led us through the park, though the way was long, though the sun was fierce, no one seemed fatigued. For the pleasure he felt in pointing out detached beauties which escaped an ordinary eye was contagious. He did not talk as talks the poet or the painter; but at some lovely effect of light amongst the tremulous leaves, some sudden glimpse of a sportive rivulet below, he would halt, point it out to us in silence, and with a kind of childlike ecstasy in his own bright face, that seemed to reflect the life and the bliss of the blithe summer day itself.
Margrave looked thrilled with this idea, and as he guided us through the park, even though the path was long and the sun was intense, no one appeared tired. His enjoyment in highlighting hidden beauties that an ordinary eye might miss was contagious. He didn’t speak like a poet or an artist; instead, when he encountered a beautiful play of light among the fluttering leaves or caught sight of a playful stream below, he would stop, point it out to us in silence, with a kind of childlike joy on his bright face that seemed to reflect the vibrancy and happiness of the cheerful summer day itself.
Thus seen, all my doubts in his dark secret nature faded away,—all my horror, all my hate; it was impossible to resist the charm that breathed round him, not to feel a tender, affectionate yearning towards him as to some fair happy child. Well might he call himself the Darling of Nature. Was he not the mysterious likeness of that awful Mother, beautiful as Apollo in one aspect, direful as Typhon in another?
Thus viewed, all my doubts about his dark, secret nature disappeared—all my horror, all my hate; it was impossible to resist the charm that surrounded him, impossible not to feel a tender, affectionate yearning toward him like toward some lovely, happy child. He truly could call himself the Darling of Nature. Was he not the mysterious reflection of that terrifying Mother, beautiful like Apollo in one aspect, dreadful like Typhon in another?
CHAPTER L.
“What a strange-looking cane you have, sir!” said a little girl, who was one of the party, and who had entwined her arm round Margrave’s. “Let me look at it.”
“What a strange-looking cane you have, sir!” said a little girl, one of the group, as she wrapped her arm around Margrave’s. “Let me see it.”
“Yes,” said Strahan, “that cane, or rather walking-staff, is worth looking at. Margrave bought it in Egypt, and declares that it is very ancient.”
“Yes,” said Strahan, “that cane, or rather walking stick, is definitely worth checking out. Margrave got it in Egypt and claims it’s very old.”
This staff seemed constructed from a reed: looked at, it seemed light, in the hand it felt heavy; it was of a pale, faded yellow, wrought with black rings at equal distances, and graven with half obliterated characters that seemed hieroglyphic. I remembered to have seen Margrave with it before, but I had never noticed it with any attention until now, when it was passed from hand to hand. At the head of the cane there was a large unpolished stone of a dark blue.
This staff looked like it was made from a reed: from a distance, it seemed light, but in hand, it felt heavy. It was a pale, faded yellow, marked with black rings spaced evenly apart, and engraved with nearly erased symbols that looked like hieroglyphics. I recalled seeing Margrave with it before, but I had never paid much attention to it until now, as it was being passed around. At the top of the cane, there was a large unpolished stone that was dark blue.
“Is this a pebble or a jewel?” asked one of the party.
“Is this a pebble or a gem?” asked one of the group.
“I cannot tell you its name or nature,” said Margrave; “but it is said to cure the bite of serpents(1), and has other supposed virtues,—a talisman, in short.”
“I can’t tell you its name or what it is,” said Margrave, “but they say it can cure snake bites(1), and it’s said to have other qualities—basically, it’s a talisman.”
He here placed the staff in my hands, and bade me look at it with care. Then he changed the conversation and renewed the way, leaving the staff with me, till suddenly I forced it back on him. I could not have explained why, but its touch, as it warmed in my clasp, seemed to send through my whole frame a singular thrill, and a sensation as if I no longer felt my own weight,—as if I walked on air.
He handed me the staff and urged me to examine it closely. Then he shifted the topic and continued on his way, leaving the staff with me, until suddenly I shoved it back at him. I couldn't explain why, but as it warmed in my grip, it sent a unique thrill through my entire body, making me feel like I no longer carried my own weight—as if I were walking on air.
Our rambles came to a close; the visitors went away; I re-entered the house through the sash-window of Forman’s study. Margrave threw his hat and staff on the table, and amused himself with examining minutely the tracery on the mantelpiece. Strahan and myself left him thus occupied, and, going into the adjoining library, resumed our task of examining the plans for the new house. I continued to draw outlines and sketches of various alterations, tending to simplify and contract Sir Philip’s general design. Margrave soon joined us, and this time took his seat patiently beside our table, watching me use ruler and compass with unwonted attention.
Our walks came to an end; the guests left; I re-entered the house through the window of Forman’s study. Margrave tossed his hat and staff on the table and entertained himself by closely examining the details on the mantelpiece. Strahan and I left him absorbed in that and went into the adjacent library to continue reviewing the plans for the new house. I kept drawing outlines and sketches of various changes aimed at simplifying and condensing Sir Philip’s overall design. Margrave soon joined us and this time sat patiently next to our table, watching me use the ruler and compass with unusual focus.
“I wish I could draw,” he said; “but I can do nothing useful.”
“I wish I could draw,” he said; “but I can’t do anything useful.”
“Rich men like you,” said Strahan, peevishly, “can engage others, and are better employed in rewarding good artists than in making bad drawings themselves.”
“Rich guys like you,” Strahan said grumpily, “can hire others and should be spending their time rewarding great artists instead of creating bad drawings themselves.”
“Yes, I can employ others; and—Fenwick, when you have finished with Strahan I will ask permission to employ you, though without reward; the task I would impose will not take you a minute.”
“Yes, I can hire others; and—Fenwick, when you’re done with Strahan, I’ll ask if I can use your help, even if it won’t be paid; the job I have in mind won’t take you more than a minute.”
He then threw himself back in his chair, and seemed to fall into a doze.
He then slumped back in his chair and appeared to doze off.
The dressing-bell rang; Strahan put away the plans,—indeed, they were now pretty well finished and decided on. Margrave woke up as our host left the room to dress, and drawing me towards another table in the room, placed before me one of his favourite mystic books, and, pointing to an old woodcut, said,
The dressing bell rang; Strahan put away the plans—actually, they were just about finished and finalized. Margrave woke up as our host stepped out to get dressed, and pulling me toward another table in the room, he placed one of his favorite mystery books in front of me and, pointing to an old woodcut, said,
“I will ask you to copy this for me; it pretends to be a facsimile of Solomon’s famous seal. I have a whimsical desire to have a copy of it. You observe two triangles interlaced and inserted in a circle?—the pentacle, in short. Yes, just so. You need not add the astrological characters: they are the senseless superfluous accessories of the dreamer who wrote the book. But the pentacle itself has an intelligible meaning; it belongs to the only universal language, the language of symbol, in which all races that think—around, and above, and below us—can establish communion of thought. If in the external universe any one constructive principle can be detected, it is the geometrical; and in every part of the world in which magic pretends to a written character, I find that its hieroglyphics are geometrical figures. Is it not laughable that the most positive of all the sciences should thus lend its angles and circles to the use of—what shall I call it?—the ignorance?—ay, that is the word—the ignorance of dealers in magic?”
“I'd like you to copy this for me; it claims to be a replica of Solomon’s famous seal. I have a quirky desire to have a version of it. Do you see the two interlocking triangles inside a circle?—the pentacle, in short. Exactly. You don’t need to add the astrological symbols; they’re just meaningless extra details from the dreamer who wrote the book. But the pentacle itself has a clear meaning; it belongs to the one universal language, the language of symbols, through which all thinking races—around us, above us, and below us—can communicate. If there’s one constructive principle that can be identified in the external universe, it’s geometric; and in every part of the world where magic claims to have a written form, I find that its symbols are geometric shapes. Isn’t it amusing that the most concrete of all sciences should lend its angles and circles to the whims of—how should I put it?—the ignorance?—yes, that’s the word—the ignorance of those who trade in magic?”
He took up the paper, on which I had hastily described the triangles and the circle, and left the room, chanting the serpent-charmer’s song.
He picked up the paper where I had quickly sketched the triangles and the circle, and then left the room, humming the serpent-charmer’s song.
(1) The following description of a stone at Corfu, celebrated as an antidote to the venom of the serpent’s bite, was given to me by an eminent scholar and legal functionary in that island:—
(1) The following description of a stone in Corfu, known as a cure for snake bites, was shared with me by a well-known scholar and legal official from that island:—
DESCRIPTION of THE BLUESTONE.—This stone is of an oval shape 1 2/10 in. long, 7/10 broad, 3/10 thick, and, having been broken formerly, is now set in gold.
DESCRIPTION of THE BLUESTONE.—This stone is oval-shaped, 1.2 inches long, 0.7 inches wide, and 0.3 inches thick. It was broken in the past and is now set in gold.
When a person is bitten by a poisonous snake, the bite must be opened by a cut of a lancet or razor longways, and the stone applied within twenty-four hours. The stone then attaches itself firmly on the wound, and when it has done its office falls off; the cure is then complete. The stone must then be thrown into milk, whereupon it vomits the poison it has absorbed, which remains green on the top of the milk, and the stone is then again fit for use.
When someone gets bitten by a venomous snake, the bite needs to be opened with a cut using a lancet or razor from end to end, and a special stone should be applied within twenty-four hours. The stone sticks tightly to the wound, and once it has done its job, it falls off; at that point, the healing is complete. The stone should then be placed in milk, where it will expel the poison it has taken in, which will appear green on the surface of the milk, and the stone will be ready to use again.
This stone has been from time immemorial in the family of Ventura, of Corfu, a house of Italian origin, and is notorious, so that peasants immediately apply for its aid. Its virtue has not been impaired by the fracture. Its nature or composition is unknown.
This stone has been in the Ventura family from Corfu, which has Italian roots, for as long as anyone can remember, and it's famous enough that local farmers quickly seek its help. Its power hasn't been diminished by the crack. Its makeup or composition remains a mystery.
In a case where two were stung at the same time by serpents, the stone was applied to one, who recovered; but the other, for whom it could not be used, died.
In a situation where two people were bitten by snakes at the same time, the stone was used on one of them, who healed; however, the other, for whom it couldn’t be used, died.
It never failed but once, and then it was applied after the twenty-four hours.
It only missed once, and even then it was used after twenty-four hours.
Its colour is so dark as not to be distinguished from black.
Its color is so dark that it can't be told apart from black.
P. M. COLQUHOUN.
P.M. Colquhoun.
Corfu, 7th Nov., 1860.
Corfu, Nov 7, 1860.
Sir Emerson Tennent, in his popular and excellent work on Ceylon, gives an account of “snake stones” apparently similar to the one at Corfu, except that they are “intensely black and highly polished,” and which are applied, in much the same manner, to the wounds inflicted by the cobra-capella.
Sir Emerson Tennent, in his well-known and outstanding book on Ceylon, describes “snake stones” that seem similar to the one in Corfu, except that they are “deeply black and highly polished,” and are used in much the same way on wounds caused by the cobra-capella.
QUERY.-Might it not be worth while to ascertain the chemical properties of these stones, and, if they be efficacious in the extraction of venom conveyed by a bite, might they not be as successful if applied to the bite of a mad dog as to that of a cobra-capella?
QUERY.-Would it be worthwhile to find out the chemical properties of these stones, and if they are effective in extracting venom from a bite, could they be just as successful when used for a bite from a rabid dog as for that of a cobra-capella?
CHAPTER LI.
When we separated for the night, which we did at eleven o’clock, Margrave said,—
When we parted ways for the night at eleven o'clock, Margrave said,—
“Good-night and good-by. I must leave you to-morrow, Strahan, and before your usual hour for rising. I took the liberty of requesting one of your men to order me a chaise from L——. Pardon my seeming abruptness, but I always avoid long leave-takings, and I had fixed the date of my departure almost as soon as I accepted your invitation.”
“Good night and goodbye. I have to leave you tomorrow, Strahan, and it'll be before your usual wake-up time. I took the liberty of asking one of your guys to order me a carriage from L——. Sorry if I seem a bit abrupt, but I always try to avoid long farewells, and I had decided when to leave almost as soon as I accepted your invitation.”
“I have no right to complain. The place must be dull indeed to a gay young fellow like you. It is dull even to me. I am meditating flight already. Are you going back to L——?”
“I have no right to complain. This place must be really boring for a fun-loving young guy like you. It’s boring even for me. I’m already thinking about leaving. Are you going back to L——?”
“Not even for such things as I left at my lodgings. When I settle somewhere and can give an address, I shall direct them to be sent to me. There are, I hear, beautiful patches of scenery towards the north, only known to pedestrian tourists. I am a good walker; and you know, Fenwick, that I am also a child of Nature. Adieu to you both; and many thanks to you, Strahan, for your hospitality.”
“Not even for the stuff I left at my place. When I find a place to stay and have an address, I'll ask for them to be sent to me. I’ve heard there are beautiful scenic spots up north that only hikers know about. I’m a good walker; and you know, Fenwick, I’m also a nature lover. Goodbye to both of you; and thanks a lot, Strahan, for your hospitality.”
He left the room.
He exited the room.
“I am not sorry he is going,” said Strahan, after a pause, and with a quick breath as if of relief. “Do you not feel that he exhausts one? An excess of oxygen, as you would say in a lecture.”
“I’m not sorry he’s leaving,” Strahan said after a pause, taking a quick breath as if relieved. “Don’t you think he drains you? Like an overload of oxygen, as you might put it in a lecture.”
I was alone in my own chamber; I felt indisposed for bed and for sleep; the curious conversation I had held with Margrave weighed on me. In that conversation, we had indirectly touched upon the prodigies which I had not brought myself to speak of with frank courage, and certainly nothing in Margrave’s manner had betrayed consciousness of my suspicions; on the contrary, the open frankness with which he evinced his predilection for mystic speculation, or uttered his more unamiable sentiments, rather tended to disarm than encourage belief in gloomy secrets or sinister powers. And as he was about to quit the neighbourhood, he would not again see Lilian, not even enter the town of L——. Was I to ascribe this relief from his presence to the promise of the Shadow; or was I not rather right in battling firmly against any grotesque illusion, and accepting his departure as a simple proof that my jealous fears had been amongst my other chimeras, and that as he had really only visited Lilian out of friendship to me, in my peril, so he might, with his characteristic acuteness, have guessed my jealousy, and ceased his visits from a kindly motive delicately concealed? And might not the same motive now have dictated the words which were intended to assure me that L—— contained no attractions to tempt him to return to it? Thus, gradually soothed and cheered by the course to which my reflections led me, I continued to muse for hours. At length, looking at my watch, I was surprised to find it was the second hour after midnight. I was just about to rise from my chair to undress, and secure some hours of sleep, when the well-remembered cold wind passed through the room, stirring the roots of my hair; and before me stood, against the wall, the Luminous Shadow.
I was alone in my room; I felt unable to go to bed or sleep; the interesting conversation I’d had with Margrave weighed heavily on me. During that chat, we’d touched on the strange occurrences I hadn’t been able to openly discuss, and nothing in Margrave’s behavior suggested he was aware of my doubts. In fact, the way he openly expressed his interest in mystical ideas and shared his less pleasant opinions seemed to undermine rather than support any belief I had in dark secrets or ominous forces. As he was about to leave the area, he wouldn’t see Lilian again, nor would he enter the town of L——. Should I attribute my relief at his absence to the promise of the Shadow, or was I more justified in fighting against any ridiculous fantasies and accepting his departure as simple proof that my jealous fears were like my other illusions? Perhaps he had only visited Lilian out of friendship for me during my troubles, and with his usual keen insight, he might have sensed my jealousy and stopped visiting for a kind but unspoken reason. Could the same motive have inspired his statements assuring me that L—— held no allure for him to come back? Gradually comforted and uplifted by my thoughts, I continued to reflect for hours. Finally, checking my watch, I was surprised to see it was already two in the morning. I was just about to get up to undress and get some sleep when the familiar cold wind swept through the room, ruffling the hair on my neck; and before me, against the wall, stood the Luminous Shadow.
“Rise and follow me,” said the voice, sounding much nearer than it had ever done before.
“Get up and come with me,” said the voice, sounding much closer than it ever had before.
And at those words I rose mechanically, and like a sleepwalker.
And at those words, I got up automatically, like a sleepwalker.
“Take up the light.”
“Embrace the light.”
I took it. The Scin-Laeca glided along the wall towards the threshold, and motioned me to open the door. I did so. The Shadow flitted on through the corridor. I followed, with hushed footsteps, down a small stair into Forman’s study. In all my subsequent proceedings, about to be narrated, the Shadow guided me, sometimes by voice, sometimes by sign. I obeyed the guidance, not only unresistingly, but without a desire to resist. I was unconscious either of curiosity or of awe,—only of a calm and passive indifference, neither pleasurable nor painful. In this obedience, from which all will seemed extracted, I took into my hands the staff which I had examined the day before, and which lay on the table, just where Margrave had cast it on re-entering the house. I unclosed the shutter to the casement, lifted the sash, and, with the light in my left hand, the staff in my right, stepped forth into the garden. The night was still; the flame of the candle scarcely trembled in the air; the Shadow moved on before me towards the old pavilion described in an earlier part of this narrative, and of which the mouldering doors stood wide open. I followed the Shadow into the pavilion, up the crazy stair to the room above, with its four great blank unglazed windows, or rather arcades, north, south, east, and west. I halted on the middle of the floor: right before my eyes, through the vista made by breathless boughs, stood out from the moonlit air the dreary mausoleum. Then, at the command conveyed to me, I placed the candle on a wooden settle, touched a spring in the handle of the staff; a lid flew back, and I drew from the hollow, first a lump of some dark bituminous substance, next a smaller slender wand of polished steel, of which the point was tipped with a translucent material, which appeared to me like crystal. Bending down, still obedient to the direction conveyed to me, I described on the floor with the lump of bitumen (if I may so call it) the figure of the pentacle with the interlaced triangles, in a circle nine feet in diameter, just as I had drawn it for Margrave the evening before. The material used made the figure perceptible, in a dark colour of mingled black and red. I applied the flame of the candle to the circle, and immediately it became lambent with a low steady splendour that rose about an inch from the floor; and gradually front this light there emanated a soft, gray, transparent mist and a faint but exquisite odour. I stood in the midst of the circle, and within the circle also, close by my side, stood the Scin-Laeca,—no longer reflected on the wall, but apart from it, erect, rounded into more integral and distinct form, yet impalpable, and from it there breathed an icy air. Then lifting the wand, the broader end of which rested in the palm of my hand, the two forefingers closing lightly over it in a line parallel with the point, I directed it towards the wide aperture before me, fronting the mausoleum. I repeated aloud some words whispered to me in a language I knew not: those words I would not trace on this paper, could I remember them. As they came to a close, I heard a howl from the watch-dog in the yard,—a dismal, lugubrious howl. Other dogs in the distant village caught up the sound, and bayed in a dirge-like chorus; and the howling went on louder and louder. Again strange words were whispered to me, and I repeated them in mechanical submission; and when they, too, were ended, I felt the ground tremble beneath me, and as my eyes looked straight forward down the vista, that, stretching from the casement, was bounded by the solitary mausoleum, vague formless shadows seemed to pass across the moonlight,—below, along the sward, above, in the air; and then suddenly a terror, not before conceived, came upon me.
I accepted it. The Scin-Laeca glided along the wall toward the door and signaled for me to open it. I did. The Shadow swiftly moved down the corridor. I trailed behind, stepping quietly down a small staircase into Forman's study. Throughout everything that followed, which I am about to recount, the Shadow guided me, sometimes with words, sometimes with gestures. I followed its guidance, not just without resistance but without any desire to resist. I felt neither curiosity nor awe—only a calm, passive indifference that was neither pleasurable nor painful. In this obedience, from which all will seemed gone, I picked up the staff I had looked at the day before, which lay on the table where Margrave had thrown it when he came back into the house. I opened the shutter of the window, lifted the sash, and, with the light in my left hand and the staff in my right, stepped out into the garden. The night was quiet; the candle's flame barely flickered in the air; the Shadow moved ahead of me toward the old pavilion mentioned earlier in this story, its decaying doors standing wide open. I followed the Shadow into the pavilion, up the rickety stairs to the room above, which had four large blank windows, or rather arches, facing north, south, east, and west. I paused in the middle of the floor: right in front of me, through the view framed by still branches, the gloomy mausoleum stood out against the moonlit sky. Then, at the command conveyed to me, I set the candle on a wooden bench, pressed a spring in the staff’s handle; a lid sprang open, and I pulled out first a lump of some dark, tar-like substance, and then a smaller slender wand of polished steel, its tip adorned with a translucent material that looked like crystal. Bowing down, still obedient to the direction I received, I used the lump of bitumen (if I may call it that) to draw on the floor the figure of the pentacle with intersecting triangles, in a circle nine feet in diameter, just as I had sketched it for Margrave the night before. The substance I used made the figure visible in a dark shade of mixed black and red. I applied the flame of the candle to the circle, and instantly it lit up with a low, steady glow that rose about an inch from the floor; gradually, from this light there emerged a soft, gray, transparent mist and a faint but delightful scent. I stood in the middle of the circle, and within the circle as well, close to me, stood the Scin-Laeca—no longer projected on the wall, but separate from it, upright, taking on a more integral and distinct form, yet still intangible, emanating a chill. Then, lifting the wand, the broader end resting in the palm of my hand, my two forefingers lightly closing over it in line with the tip, I pointed it toward the wide opening before me, facing the mausoleum. I spoke aloud some words that were whispered to me in a language I didn’t know: those words I wouldn’t write down here even if I could remember them. As they finished, I heard a howl from the watch-dog in the yard—a mournful, sorrowful howl. Other dogs in the distant village picked up the sound and joined in a dirge-like chorus; the howling grew louder. Again, strange words were whispered to me, and I repeated them out of mechanical submission; and when those ended, I felt the ground tremble beneath me, and as I looked straight ahead down the view that stretched from the window to the solitary mausoleum, vague, formless shadows seemed to move across the moonlight—below, along the grass, above, in the air; and then, suddenly, a fear unlike any I had felt before came over me.
And a third time words were whispered; but though I knew no more of their meaning than I did of those that had preceded them, I felt a repugnance to utter them aloud. Mutely I turned towards the Scin-Laeca, and the expression of its face was menacing and terrible; my will became yet more compelled to the control imposed upon it, and my lips commenced the formula again whispered into my ear, when I heard distinctly a voice of warning and of anguish, that murmured “Hold!” I knew the voice; it was Lilian’s. I paused; I turned towards the quarter from which the voice had come, and in the space afar I saw the features, the form of Lilian. Her arms were stretched towards me in supplication, her countenance was deadly pale, and anxious with unutterable distress. The whole image seemed in unison with the voice,—the look, the attitude, the gesture of one who sees another in deadly peril, and cries, “Beware!”
And for a third time, words were whispered; but even though I understood no more of their meaning than I did the ones that came before, I felt a strong aversion to saying them out loud. Silently, I turned toward the Scin-Laeca, and its expression was threatening and horrifying; my will was even more compelled by the control it had over me, and my lips began the formula again that had been whispered in my ear, when I distinctly heard a voice of warning and distress say, “Hold!” I recognized the voice; it was Lilian’s. I paused and turned toward the direction the voice had come from, and in the distance, I saw Lilian’s features and form. Her arms were outstretched toward me in pleading, her face was deathly pale, and filled with indescribable anxiety. The entire image matched the voice—the look, the posture, the gesture of someone who sees another in serious danger and cries, “Beware!”
This apparition vanished in a moment; but that moment sufficed to free my mind from the constraint which had before enslaved it. I dashed the wand to the ground, sprang from the circle, rushed from the place. How I got into my own room I can remember not,—I know not; I have a vague reminiscence of some intervening wandering, of giant trees, of shroud-like moonlight, of the Shining Shadow and its angry aspect, of the blind walls and the iron door of the House of the Dead, of spectral images,—a confused and dreary phantasmagoria. But all I can recall with distinctness is the sight of my own hueless face in the mirror in my own still room, by the light of the white moon through the window; and, sinking down, I said to myself, “This, at least, is an hallucination or a dream!”
This apparition disappeared in an instant; but that moment was enough to free my mind from the grip that had previously held it captive. I threw the wand to the ground, jumped out of the circle, and rushed away from the place. I can't remember how I got to my own room—I just don’t know; I have a vague memory of wandering in between, of giant trees, of ghostly moonlight, of the Shining Shadow and its angry face, of the blind walls and the iron door of the House of the Dead, of ghostly images—an unclear and gloomy visuals. But all I can distinctly recall is the sight of my own colorless face in the mirror in my quiet room, illuminated by the white moonlight through the window; and, sinking down, I told myself, “At least this is just a hallucination or a dream!”
CHAPTER LII.
A heavy sleep came over me at daybreak, but I did not undress nor go to bed. The sun was high in the heavens when, on waking, I saw the servant who had attended me bustling about the room.
A deep sleep took over me at daybreak, but I didn’t change or get into bed. The sun was high in the sky when I woke up and saw the servant who had been taking care of me busying around the room.
“I beg your pardon, sir, I am afraid I disturbed you; but I have been three times to see if you were not coming down, and I found you so soundly asleep I did not like to wake you. Mr. Strahan has finished breakfast, and gone out riding; Mr. Margrave has left,—left before six o’clock.”
“I’m sorry to bother you, sir, but I’ve checked three times to see if you were coming down, and you seemed so deeply asleep that I didn’t want to wake you. Mr. Strahan has finished breakfast and went out for a ride; Mr. Margrave has left—he left before six o’clock.”
“Ah, he said he was going early.”
“Ah, he said he was leaving early.”
“Yes, sir; and he seemed so cross when he went. I could never have supposed so pleasant a gentleman could put himself into such a passion!”
“Yes, sir; and he seemed really upset when he left. I could never have imagined such a nice guy could get so angry!”
“What was the matter?”
"What's the issue?"
“Why, his walking-stick could not be found; it was not in the hall. He said he had left it in the study; we could not find it there. At last he found it himself in the old summerhouse, and said—I beg pardon—he said he was sure you had taken it there: that some one, at all events, had been meddling with it. However, I am very glad it was found, since he seems to set such store on it.”
“His walking stick was missing; it wasn't in the hall. He said he left it in the study, but we couldn't find it there. Eventually, he found it himself in the old summerhouse and said—excuse me—he was certain you had taken it there: that someone, anyway, had been messing with it. However, I'm really glad it was found since he seems to care so much about it.”
“Did Mr. Margrave go himself into the summer-house to look for it?”
“Did Mr. Margrave go to the summer house himself to look for it?”
“Yes, sir; no one else would have thought of such a place; no one likes to go there, even in the daytime.”
“Yes, sir; no one else would have considered such a place; nobody wants to go there, even during the day.”
“Why?”
“Why?”
“Why, sir, they say it is haunted since poor Sir Philip’s death; and, indeed, there are strange noises in every part of the house. I am afraid you had a bad night, sir,” continued the servant, with evident curiosity, glancing towards the bed, which I had not pressed, and towards the evening-dress which, while he spoke, I was rapidly changing for that which I habitually wore in the morning. “I hope you did not feel yourself ill?”
“Why, sir, they say it’s haunted since poor Sir Philip died; and, really, there are strange noises coming from every part of the house. I’m worried you had a rough night, sir,” continued the servant, clearly curious, glancing at the bed, which I hadn’t slept in, and towards the evening dress which, while he spoke, I was quickly changing out of for my usual morning outfit. “I hope you’re not feeling unwell?”
“No! but it seems I fell asleep in my chair.”
“No! But it looks like I dozed off in my chair.”
“Did you hear, sir, how the dogs howled about two o’clock in the morning? They woke me. Very frightful!”
“Did you hear, sir, how the dogs howled around two in the morning? They woke me up. It was really scary!”
“The moon was at her full. Dogs will bay at the moon.”
“The moon was full. Dogs will howl at the moon.”
I felt relieved to think that I should not find Strahan in the breakfast-room; and hastening through the ceremony of a meal which I scarcely touched, I went out into the park unobserved, and creeping round the copses and into the neglected gardens, made my way to the pavilion. I mounted the stairs; I looked on the floor of the upper room; yes, there still was the black figure of the pentacle, the circle. So, then, it was not a dream! Till then I had doubted. Or might it not still be so far a dream that I had walked in my sleep, and with an imagination preoccupied by my conversations with Margrave,—by the hieroglyphics on the staff I had handled, by the very figure associated with superstitious practices which I had copied from some weird book at his request, by all the strange impressions previously stamped on my mind,—might I not, in truth, have carried thither in sleep the staff, described the circle, and all the rest been but visionary delusion? Surely, surely, so common-sense, and so Julius Faber would interpret the riddles that perplexed me! Be that as it may, my first thought was to efface the marks on the floor. I found this easier than I had ventured to hope. I rubbed the circle and the pentacle away from the boards with the sole of my foot, leaving but an undistinguishable smudge behind. I know not why, but I felt the more nervously anxious to remove all such evidences of my nocturnal visit to that room, because Margrave had so openly gone thither to seek for the staff, and had so rudely named me to the servant as having meddled with it. Might he not awake some suspicion against me? Suspicion, what of? I knew not, but I feared!
I felt relieved knowing I wouldn't find Strahan in the breakfast room. I quickly went through the motions of a meal I barely touched and slipped out into the park without being seen. I crept around the thickets and into the overgrown gardens to reach the pavilion. I climbed the stairs and looked at the floor of the upper room; yes, the black figure of the pentacle and the circle were still there. So it wasn’t a dream! Until then, I had doubted. Or could it still be some kind of dream, that I walked in my sleep, my mind clouded by my talks with Margrave—by the hieroglyphics on the staff I had handled, by that very figure I’d copied from a strange book at his request, by all those bizarre impressions left in my mind—could I have really brought the staff there in my sleep, drawn the circle, and the rest just be a figment of my imagination? Surely, surely, that’s how common sense and Julius Faber would explain the mysteries that troubled me! No matter, my first thought was to erase the marks on the floor. I found this easier than I had expected. I rubbed the circle and pentacle away from the boards using the sole of my foot, leaving just an indistinguishable smudge behind. I don’t know why, but I felt increasingly anxious to get rid of any evidence of my late-night visit to that room because Margrave had so openly gone there looking for the staff and had crudely mentioned me to the servant as someone who had interfered with it. Could he not raise some suspicion about me? Suspicion, about what? I didn’t know, but I was afraid!
The healthful air of day gradually nerved my spirits and relieved my thoughts. But the place had become hateful to me. I resolved not to wait for Strahan’s return, but to walk back to L——, and leave a message for my host. It was sufficient excuse that I could not longer absent myself from my patients; accordingly I gave directions to have the few things which I had brought with me sent to my house by any servant who might be going to L——, and was soon pleased to find myself outside the park-gates and on the high-road.
The fresh air of the day lifted my spirits and cleared my mind. But I had grown to despise the place. I decided not to wait for Strahan to come back, but to walk back to L—— and leave a message for my host. It was a valid excuse that I could no longer be away from my patients; so I instructed that the few things I had brought with me be sent to my house by any servant heading to L——, and I was soon happy to find myself outside the park gates and on the main road.
I had not gone a mile before I met Strahan on horseback. He received my apologies for not waiting his return to bid him farewell without observation, and, dismounting, led his horse and walked beside me on my road. I saw that there was something on his mind; at last he said, looking down,—
I hadn’t even gone a mile when I ran into Strahan on horseback. He accepted my apologies for not waiting for him to say goodbye without any fuss, then got off his horse and walked alongside me. I could tell he was preoccupied; finally, he said, looking down,—
“Did you hear the dogs howl last night?”
“Did you hear the dogs howling last night?”
“Yes! the full moon!”
“Yes! The full moon!”
“You were awake, then, at the time. Did you hear any other sound? Did you see anything?”
“You were awake at that time, right? Did you hear any other sounds? Did you see anything?”
“What should I hear or see?”
“What should I listen to or see?”
Strahan was silent for some moments; then he said, with great seriousness,—
Strahan was quiet for a few moments; then he said, with a lot of seriousness,—
“I could not sleep when I went to bed last night; I felt feverish and restless. Somehow or other, Margrave got into my head, mixed up in some strange way with Sir Philip Derval. I heard the dogs howl, and at the same time, or rather a few minutes later, I felt the whole house tremble, as a frail corner-house in London seems to tremble at night when a carriage is driven past it. The howling had then ceased, and ceased as suddenly as it had begun. I felt a vague, superstitious alarm; I got up, and went to my window, which was unclosed (it is my habit to sleep with my windows open); the moon was very bright, and I saw, I declare I saw along the green alley that leads from the old part of the house to the mausoleum—No, I will not say what I saw or believed I saw,—you would ridicule me, and justly. But, whatever it might be, on the earth without or in the fancy within my brain, I was so terrified, that I rushed back to my bed, and buried my face in my pillow. I would have come to you; but I did not dare to stir. I have been riding hard all the morning in order to recover my nerves. But I dread sleeping again under that roof, and now that you and Margrave leave me, I shall go this very day to London. I hope all that I have told you is no bad sign of any coming disease; blood to the head, eh?”
“I couldn't sleep when I went to bed last night; I felt feverish and restless. Somehow, Margrave got into my head, mixed up in a weird way with Sir Philip Derval. I heard the dogs howl, and then, a few minutes later, I felt the whole house shake like a fragile corner house in London does at night when a carriage passes by. The howling suddenly stopped, just as quickly as it had started. I felt a vague, superstitious unease; I got up and went to my window, which was open (I usually sleep with my windows open); the moon was very bright, and I swear I saw down the green path that leads from the old part of the house to the mausoleum—No, I won’t say what I saw or thought I saw—you would laugh at me, and rightly so. But whatever it was, either outside or just in my imagination, I was so terrified that I rushed back to bed and buried my face in my pillow. I would have come to you, but I didn’t dare move. I’ve been riding hard all morning to calm my nerves. But I’m dreading sleeping under that roof again, and now that you and Margrave are leaving me, I’m going to London today. I hope everything I've told you isn't a bad sign of some illness coming on; blood to the head, right?”
“No; but imagination overstrained can produce wondrous effects. You do right to change the scene. Go to London at once, amuse yourself, and—”
“No; but an overactive imagination can create amazing effects. You're right to switch things up. Head to London right away, have some fun, and—”
“Not return, till the old house is razed to the ground. That is my resolve. You approve? That’s well. All success to you, Fenwick. I will canter back and get my portmanteau ready and the carriage out, in time for the five o’clock train.”
“Don’t come back until the old house is completely torn down. That’s my decision. Do you agree? Good. I wish you all the best, Fenwick. I’ll ride back and get my suitcase packed and have the carriage ready for the five o’clock train.”
So then he, too, had seen—what? I did not dare and I did not desire to ask him. But he, at least, was not walking in his sleep! Did we both dream, or neither?
So he had seen it too—what? I didn’t want to ask him, and I didn’t need to know. But at least he wasn’t sleepwalking! Were we both dreaming, or neither?
CHAPTER LIII.
There is an instance of the absorbing tyranny of every-day life which must have struck all such of my readers as have ever experienced one of those portents which are so at variance with every-day life, that the ordinary epithet bestowed on them is “supernatural.”
There’s a situation in daily life that must have impacted all my readers who have ever faced one of those occurrences that completely clash with regular life, to the point where we call them “supernatural.”
And be my readers few or many, there will be no small proportion of them to whom once, at least, in the course of their existence, a something strange and eerie has occurred,—a something which perplexed and baffled rational conjecture, and struck on those chords which vibrate to superstition. It may have been only a dream unaccountably verified,—an undefinable presentiment or forewarning; but up from such slighter and vaguer tokens of the realm of marvel, up to the portents of ghostly apparitions or haunted chambers, I believe that the greater number of persons arrived at middle age, however instructed the class, however civilized the land, however sceptical the period, to which they belong, have either in themselves experienced, or heard recorded by intimate associates whose veracity they accept as indisputable in all ordinary transactions of life, phenomena which are not to be solved by the wit that mocks them, nor, perhaps, always and entirely, to the contentment of the reason or the philosophy that explains them away. Such phenomena, I say, are infinitely more numerous than would appear from the instances currently quoted and dismissed with a jest; for few of those who have witnessed them are disposed to own it, and they who only hear of them through others, however trustworthy, would not impugn their character for common-sense by professing a belief to which common-sense is a merciless persecutor. But he who reads my assertion in the quiet of his own room, will perhaps pause, ransack his memory, and find there, in some dark corner which he excludes from “the babbling and remorseless day,” a pale recollection that proves the assertion not untrue.
And whether my readers are few or many, there will be a significant number of them who have experienced something strange and eerie at least once in their lives—something that confused and baffled logical thought and resonated with superstitions. It might have been just a dream that came true in an inexplicable way, or an undefinable feeling of foreboding; but from these minor and vague signs of the extraordinary to the signs of ghostly apparitions or haunted places, I believe that most people who reach middle age, no matter how educated, how civilized their country, or how skeptical the times they live in, have either experienced these things themselves or heard accounts from close friends whose honesty they trust in everyday matters. These phenomena cannot be explained away by cleverness that laughs at them or, perhaps, even by reason or philosophy that tries to make sense of them. I believe these occurrences are far more common than what appears in the examples generally cited and dismissed with a joke; for very few of those who have seen them are willing to admit it, and those who only hear about them from others, no matter how reliable, may hesitate to acknowledge them for fear of looking foolish. But someone reading my statement in the quiet of their own room might pause, search their memory, and find in some dark corner, hidden away from "the babbling and remorseless day," a faint recollection that confirms my assertion isn't entirely untrue.
And it is, I say, an instance of the absorbing tyranny of everyday life, that whenever some such startling incident disturbs its regular tenor of thought and occupation, that same every-day life hastens to bury in its sands the object which has troubled its surface; the more unaccountable, the more prodigious, has been the phenomenon which has scared and astounded us, the more, with involuntary effort, the mind seeks to rid itself of an enigma which might disease the reason that tries to solve it. We go about our mundane business with renewed avidity; we feel the necessity of proving to ourselves that we are still sober, practical men, and refuse to be unfitted for the world which we know, by unsolicited visitations from worlds into which every glimpse is soon lost amid shadows. And it amazes us to think how soon such incidents, though not actually forgotten, though they can be recalled—and recalled too vividly for health—at our will, are nevertheless thrust, as it were, out of the mind’s sight as we cast into lumber-rooms the crutches and splints that remind us of a broken limb which has recovered its strength and tone. It is a felicitous peculiarity in our organization, which all members of my profession will have noticed, how soon, when a bodily pain is once passed, it becomes erased from the recollection,—how soon and how invariably the mind refuses to linger over and recall it. No man freed an hour before from a raging toothache, the rack of a neuralgia, seats himself in his armchair to recollect and ponder upon the anguish he has undergone. It is the same with certain afflictions of the mind,—not with those that strike on our affections, or blast our fortunes, overshadowing our whole future with a sense of loss; but where a trouble or calamity has been an accident, an episode in our wonted life, where it affects ourselves alone, where it is attended with a sense of shame and humiliation, where the pain of recalling it seems idle, and if indulged would almost madden us,—agonies of that kind we do not brood over as we do over the death or falsehood of beloved friends, or the train of events by which we are reduced from wealth to penury. No one, for instance, who has escaped from a shipwreck, from the brink of a precipice, from the jaws of a tiger, spends his days and nights in reviving his terrors past, re-imagining dangers not to occur again, or, if they do occur, from which the experience undergone can suggest no additional safeguards. The current of our life, indeed, like that of the rivers, is most rapid in the midmost channel, where all streams are alike comparatively slow in the depth and along the shores in which each life, as each river, has a character peculiar to itself. And hence, those who would sail with the tide of the world, as those who sail with the tide of a river, hasten to take the middle of the stream, as those who sail against the tide are found clinging to the shore. I returned to my habitual duties and avocations with renewed energy; I did not suffer my thoughts to dwell on the dreary wonders that had haunted me, from the evening I first met Sir Philip Derval to the morning on which I had quitted the house of his heir; whether realities or hallucinations, no guess of mine could unravel such marvels, and no prudence of mine guard me against their repetition. But I had no fear that they would be repeated, any more than the man who had gone through shipwreck, or the hairbreadth escape from a fall down a glacier, fears again to be found in a similar peril. Margrave had departed, whither I knew not, and, with his departure, ceased all sense of his influence. A certain calm within me, a tranquillizing feeling of relief, seemed to me like a pledge of permanent delivery.
And I say, it's a clear example of the relentless routine of everyday life that whenever a shocking event disrupts our usual stream of thoughts and activities, that same everyday life rushes to bury the disturbance beneath its sands. The more inexplicable and extraordinary the event that has startled and amazed us, the more desperately our minds try to shake off the mystery that could threaten our reason as we attempt to comprehend it. We return to our daily routines with renewed enthusiasm; we feel the need to reassure ourselves that we're still rational, practical people and refuse to let unexpected intrusions from other realms make us unfit for the familiar world we know, which quickly obscures any fleeting glimpse of the unknown. It’s surprising how swiftly these events, although not entirely forgotten and even recalled—sometimes too vividly for comfort—are nonetheless pushed out of our mental view, much like we toss aside the crutches and splints that remind us of a broken limb that has healed. It's a fascinating trait of our nature, which all professionals in my field have noticed, that once physical pain has passed, it quickly fades from memory—how consistently the mind declines to dwell on or remember it. No one who has just been freed from a terrible toothache or the torment of nerve pain sits down to reflect on the suffering they endured. The same goes for certain mental struggles—not those that impact our feelings or ruin our fortunes, overshadowing our entire future with grief; but rather those troubles that are accidental, mere episodes in our usual lives, that only affect us personally and bring a sense of embarrassment and humiliation, where recalling the pain seems pointless and could drive us almost mad. We don’t dwell on those kinds of agonies like we do the death or betrayal of dear friends, or the series of events that lead us from wealth to poverty. For instance, someone who has survived a shipwreck, narrowly escaped a drop from a cliff, or evaded a tiger doesn’t spend their days and nights reliving those past fears, imagining dangers that may never arise again, or if they do, wouldn’t offer any new ways to stay safe based on the past experience. The flow of our lives, indeed, is like that of rivers—most rapid in the center where all currents are slower in the depths and along the banks, where each life, like each river, has its own unique character. And so, those who want to move with the world’s currents, like those who navigate a river's flow, tend to take the middle path, while those who fight against the current cling to the shore. I returned to my usual tasks and interests with renewed vigor; I didn’t allow my thoughts to linger on the dismal events that had troubled me from the moment I first met Sir Philip Derval to the morning I left his heir's house. Whether they were real experiences or hallucinations, I couldn’t decipher such marvels, and no careful planning could shield me from encountering them again. But I was not worried they would return, any more than someone who has survived a shipwreck or narrowly escaped falling down a glacier fears finding themselves in danger again. Margrave had left, and I didn’t know where he had gone, but with his departure, his influence disappeared as well. A certain calm within me, a soothing sense of relief, felt like a promise of lasting freedom.
But that which did accompany and haunt me, through all my occupations and pursuits, was the melancholy remembrance of the love I had lost in Lilian. I heard from Mrs. Ashleigh, who still frequently visited me, that her daughter seemed much in the same quiet state of mind,—perfectly reconciled to our separation, seldom mentioning my name, if mentioning it, with indifference; the only thing remarkable in her state was her aversion to all society, and a kind of lethargy that would come over her, often in the daytime. She would suddenly fall into sleep and so remain for hours, but a sleep that seemed very serene and tranquil, and from which she woke of herself. She kept much within her own room, and always retired to it when visitors were announced.
But what accompanied and haunted me through all my activities and pursuits was the sad memory of the love I had lost in Lilian. I heard from Mrs. Ashleigh, who still visited me frequently, that her daughter seemed to be in a similar quiet state of mind—completely at peace with our separation, rarely mentioning my name, and if she did, it was with indifference. The only notable thing about her state was her dislike for socializing and a kind of lethargy that would wash over her, often during the day. She would suddenly fall asleep and stay that way for hours, but it was a sleep that appeared very serene and peaceful, and she would wake up naturally. She stayed mostly in her own room and always retreated there when visitors were announced.
Mrs. Ashleigh began reluctantly to relinquish the persuasion she had so long and so obstinately maintained, that this state of feeling towards myself—and, indeed, this general change in Lilian—was but temporary and abnormal; she began to allow that it was best to drop all thoughts of a renewed engagement,—a future union. I proposed to see Lilian in her presence and in my professional capacity; perhaps some physical cause, especially for this lethargy, might be detected and removed. Mrs. Ashleigh owned to me that the idea had occurred to herself: she had sounded Lilian upon it: but her daughter had so resolutely opposed it,—had said with so quiet a firmness “that all being over between us, a visit from me would be unwelcome and painful,”—that Mrs. Ashleigh felt that an interview thus deprecated would only confirm estrangement. One day, in calling, she asked my advice whether it would not be better to try the effect of change of air and scene, and, in some other place, some other medical opinion might be taken? I approved of this suggestion with unspeakable sadness.
Mrs. Ashleigh began to reluctantly let go of the belief she had held onto for so long—that her feelings toward me, and indeed Lilian’s overall change, were just temporary and unusual. She started to accept that it might be best to stop considering a renewed engagement or a future together. I suggested seeing Lilian while she was present and in my professional capacity; perhaps we could find some physical cause for this lethargy that could be addressed. Mrs. Ashleigh admitted that she had thought of this herself and had brought it up with Lilian, but her daughter had firmly opposed it, saying with calm certainty that since everything was over between us, a visit from me would be unwelcome and painful. Mrs. Ashleigh felt that such a meeting would only deepen the distance. One day, during a visit, she asked for my advice on whether it might be better to try a change of scenery and perhaps seek another medical opinion elsewhere. I agreed with this suggestion, despite feeling an overwhelming sadness.
“And,” said Mrs. Ashleigh, shedding tears, “if that experiment prove unsuccessful, I will write and let you know; and we must then consider what to say to the world as a reason why the marriage is broken off. I can render this more easy by staying away. I will not return to L—— till the matter has ceased to be the topic of talk, and at a distance any excuse will be less questioned and seem more natural. But still—still—let us hope still.”
“And,” said Mrs. Ashleigh, in tears, “if that experiment doesn’t work out, I’ll write and let you know; then we must think about how to explain to everyone why the marriage is off. I can make this easier by staying away. I won’t go back to L—— until this is no longer the main topic of conversation, and from a distance, any excuse will be less scrutinized and seem more natural. But still—still—let’s keep hoping.”
“Have you one ground for hope?”
“Do you have any reason to hope?”
“Perhaps so; but you will think it very frail and fallacious.”
“Maybe, but you'll find it very weak and misleading.”
“Name it, and let me judge.”
“Just name it, and I'll decide.”
“One night—in which you were on a visit to Derval Court—”
“One night—when you were visiting Derval Court—”
“Ay, that night.”
"Yeah, that night."
“Lilian woke me by a loud cry (she sleeps in the next room to me, and the door was left open); I hastened to her bedside in alarm; she was asleep, but appeared extremely agitated and convulsed. She kept calling on your name in a tone of passionate fondness, but as if in great terror. She cried, ‘Do not go, Allen—do not go—you know not what you brave!—what you do!’ Then she rose in her bed, clasping her hands. Her face was set and rigid; I tried to awake her, but could not. After a little time, she breathed a deep sigh, and murmured, ‘Allen, Allen! dear love! did you not hear, did you not see me? What could thus baffle matter and traverse space but love and soul? Can you still doubt me, Allen?—doubt that I love you now, shall love you evermore?—yonder, yonder, as here below?’ She then sank back on her pillow, weeping, and then I woke her.”
“Lilian woke me with a loud cry (she sleeps in the next room, and the door was left open); I rushed to her bedside, alarmed. She was asleep but looked extremely agitated and convulsed. She kept calling your name with passionate affection, but also in great fear. She cried, ‘Don’t go, Allen—don’t go—you don’t know what you’re facing!—what you’re doing!’ Then she sat up in her bed, clasping her hands. Her face was stiff and tense; I tried to wake her, but I couldn’t. After a little while, she took a deep breath and murmured, ‘Allen, Allen! My dear love! Didn’t you hear me, didn’t you see me? What else could defy matter and traverse space but love and soul? Can you still doubt me, Allen?—doubt that I love you now, and will love you forever?—there, there, just as here below?’ Then she sank back on her pillow, crying, and that’s when I woke her.”
“And what did she say on waking?”
“And what did she say when she woke up?”
“She did not remember what she had dreamed, except that she had passed through some great terror; but added, with a vague smile, ‘It is over, and I feel happy now.’ Then she turned round and fell asleep again, but quietly as a child, the tears dried, the smile resting.”
“She couldn’t recall what she had dreamed, only that she had experienced some intense fear; but she added, with a faint smile, ‘It’s over, and I feel happy now.’ Then she turned around and fell asleep again, but peacefully like a child, her tears dried, the smile lingering.”
“Go, my dear friend, go; take Lilian away from this place as soon as you can; divert her mind with fresh scenes. I hope!—I do hope! Let me know where you fix yourself. I will seize a holiday,—I need one; I will arrange as to my patients; I will come to the same place; she need not know of it, but I must be by to watch, to hear your news of her. Heaven bless you for what you have said! I hope!—I do hope!”
"Go, my dear friend, go; take Lilian away from here as soon as you can; distract her with new experiences. I hope!—I really hope! Let me know where you settle down. I’ll take a holiday—I need one. I’ll sort things out with my patients; I’ll come to the same place; she doesn’t need to know I’m there, but I must be close to watch and hear updates about her. Thank you so much for what you’ve said! I hope!—I really hope!"
CHAPTER LIV.
Some days after, I received a few lines from Mrs. Ashleigh. Her arrangements for departure were made. They were to start the next morning. She had fixed on going into the north of Devonshire, and staying some weeks either at Ilfracombe or Lynton, whichever place Lilian preferred. She would write as soon as they were settled.
A few days later, I got a short note from Mrs. Ashleigh. She had made plans to leave. They were set to depart the next morning. She decided to head to the north of Devonshire and stay for a few weeks in either Ilfracombe or Lynton, depending on which place Lilian liked best. She promised to write as soon as they were settled.
I was up at my usual early hour the next morning. I resolved to go out towards Mrs. Ashleigh’s house, and watch, unnoticed, where I might, perhaps, catch a glimpse of Lilian as the carriage that would convey her to the railway passed my hiding-place.
I woke up at my usual early hour the next morning. I decided to head over to Mrs. Ashleigh’s house and watch from a hidden spot, hoping to catch a glimpse of Lilian as the carriage taking her to the train passed by.
I was looking impatiently at the clock; it was yet two hours before the train by which Mrs. Ashleigh proposed to leave. A loud ring at my bell! I opened the door. Mrs. Ashleigh rushed in, falling on my breast.
I was watching the clock with impatience; there were still two hours before the train that Mrs. Ashleigh planned to take. Suddenly, the doorbell rang loudly! I opened the door. Mrs. Ashleigh burst in, collapsing against me.
“Lilian! Lilian!”
“Lilian! Lilian!”
“Heavens! What has happened?”
“Oh my! What happened?”
“She has left! she is gone,—gone away! Oh, Allen, how?—whither? Advise me. What is to be done?”
“She’s gone! She’s left—totally gone! Oh, Allen, how? Where to? Please tell me. What should I do?”
“Come in—compose yourself—tell me all,—clearly, quickly. Lilian gone,—gone away? Impossible! She must be hid somewhere in the house,—the garden; she, perhaps, did not like the journey. She may have crept away to some young friend’s house. But I talk when you should talk: tell me all.”
“Come in—calm down—tell me everything—clearly, quickly. Lilian's gone—she's really gone? No way! She must be hiding somewhere in the house or the garden; maybe she just didn’t want to make the trip. She could have slipped away to a friend’s house. But I’m rambling when you should be speaking: tell me everything.”
Little enough to tell! Lilian had seemed unusually cheerful the night before, and pleased at the thought of the excursion. Mother and daughter retired to rest early: Mrs. Ashleigh saw Lilian sleeping quietly before she herself went to bed. She woke betimes in the morning, dressed herself, went into the next room to call Lilian—Lilian was not there. No suspicion of flight occurred to her. Perhaps her daughter might be up already, and gone downstairs, remembering something she might wish to pack and take with her on the journey. Mrs. Ashleigh was confirmed in this idea when she noticed that her own room door was left open. She went downstairs, met a maidservant in the hall, who told her, with alarm and surprise, that both the street and garden doors were found unclosed. No one had seen Lilian. Mrs. Ashleigh now became seriously uneasy. On remounting to her daughter’s room, she missed Lilian’s bonnet and mantle. The house and garden were both searched in vain. There could be no doubt that Lilian had gone,—must have stolen noiselessly at night through her mother’s room, and let herself out of the house and through the garden.
Not much to say! Lilian had seemed unusually happy the night before and excited about the trip. Mother and daughter went to bed early: Mrs. Ashleigh saw Lilian peacefully sleeping before she went to her own room. She woke up early in the morning, got dressed, and went to call Lilian—only to find she wasn’t there. It didn’t cross her mind that Lilian might have run away. Maybe her daughter was already up and had gone downstairs, remembering something she wanted to pack for the journey. Mrs. Ashleigh felt more convinced of this when she noticed her own door was left open. She went downstairs and encountered a maid in the hall, who told her, alarmed and surprised, that both the street and garden doors were found unlocked. No one had seen Lilian. Mrs. Ashleigh started to feel really worried. When she returned to her daughter’s room, she noticed Lilian’s bonnet and coat were missing. They searched the house and garden with no luck. It was clear that Lilian had gone—she must have quietly slipped out of her mother’s room during the night and let herself out of the house and through the garden.
“Do you think she could have received any letter, any message, any visitor unknown to you?”
“Do you think she could have gotten any letter, any message, any visitor that you don’t know about?”
“I cannot think it. Why do you ask? Oh, Allen, you do not believe there is any accomplice in this disappearance! No, you do not believe it. But my child’s honour! What will the world think?”
“I can’t believe it. Why are you asking? Oh, Allen, you can’t really think there’s an accomplice in this disappearance! No, you don’t believe that. But my child’s honor! What will people think?”
Not for the world cared I at that moment. I could think only of Lilian, and without one suspicion that imputed blame to her.
Not for anything did I care at that moment. I could only think of Lilian, and I had no suspicion that blamed her at all.
“Be quiet, be silent; perhaps she has gone on some visit and will return. Meanwhile, leave inquiry to me.”
“Shh, be quiet; maybe she’s out visiting someone and will come back. In the meantime, let me handle the questions.”
CHAPTER LV.
It seemed incredible that Lilian could wander far without being observed. I soon ascertained that she had not gone away by the railway—by any public conveyance—had hired no carriage; she must therefore be still in the town, or have left it on foot. The greater part of the day was consumed in unsuccessful inquiries, and faint hopes that she would return; meanwhile the news of her disappearance had spread: how could such news fail to do so?
It was hard to believe that Lilian could roam so far without being seen. I quickly figured out that she hadn’t left by train, taken any public transportation, or rented a carriage; she must still be in town or have left on foot. Most of the day was spent in fruitless searches and lingering hopes that she would come back; in the meantime, word of her disappearance had spread: how could it not?
An acquaintance of mine met me under the archway of Monks’ Gate. He wrung my hand and looked at me with great compassion.
An acquaintance of mine met me under the archway of Monks’ Gate. He shook my hand and looked at me with deep compassion.
“I fear,” said he, “that we were all deceived in that young Margrave. He seemed so well conducted, in spite of his lively manners. But—”
“I’m afraid,” he said, “that we were all fooled by that young Margrave. He appeared so well-behaved, despite his lively personality. But—”
“But what?”
“But why?”
“Mrs. Ashleigh was, perhaps, imprudent to admit him into her house so familiarly. He was certainly very handsome. Young ladies will be romantic.”
“Mrs. Ashleigh was probably unwise to let him into her house so casually. He was definitely very good-looking. Young women tend to be romantic.”
“How dare you, sir!” I cried, choked with rage. “And without any colouring to so calumnious a suggestion! Margrave has not been in the town for many days. No one knows even where he is.”
“How dare you, sir!” I shouted, my voice filled with anger. “And without any proof for such a hurtful accusation! Margrave hasn’t been in town for several days. No one even knows where he is.”
“Oh, yes, it is known where he is. He wrote to order the effects which he had left here to be sent to Penrith.”
“Oh, yes, we know where he is. He wrote to arrange for the things he left here to be sent to Penrith.”
“When?”
"When is it?"
“The letter arrived the day before yesterday. I happened to be calling at the house where he last lodged, when at L——, the house opposite Mrs. Ashleigh’s garden. No doubt the servants in both houses gossip with each other. Miss Ashleigh could scarcely fail to hear of Mr. Margrave’s address from her maid; and since servants will exchange gossip, they may also convey letters. Pardon me, you know I am your friend.”
“The letter arrived two days ago. I happened to be visiting the house where he last stayed, at L——, the one across from Mrs. Ashleigh’s garden. The staff in both houses likely chat with one another. Miss Ashleigh probably heard about Mr. Margrave’s address from her maid; and since staff will share gossip, they might also deliver letters. Forgive me, you know I’m your friend.”
“Not from the moment you breathe a word against my betrothed wife,” said I, fiercely.
“Not from the moment you say a word against my fiancée,” I said, fiercely.
I wrenched myself from the clasp of the man’s hand, but his words still rang in my ears. I mounted my horse; I rode into the adjoining suburbs, the neighbouring villages; there, however, I learned nothing, till, just at nightfall, in a hamlet about ten miles from L——, a labourer declared he had seen a young lady dressed as I described, who passed by him in a path through the fields a little before noon; that he was surprised to see one so young, so well dressed, and a stranger to the neighbourhood (for he knew by sight the ladies of the few families scattered around) walking alone; that as he stepped out of the path to make way for her, he looked hard into her face, and she did not heed him,—seemed to gaze right before her, into space. If her expression had been less quiet and gentle, he should have thought, he could scarcely say why, that she was not quite right in her mind; there was a strange unconscious stare in her eyes, as if she were walking in her sleep. Her pace was very steady,—neither quick nor slow. He had watched her till she passed out of sight, amidst a wood through which the path wound its way to a village at some distance.
I pulled my hand away from the grip of the man, but his words still echoed in my ears. I got on my horse and rode into the nearby suburbs and villages; however, I didn’t find out anything until, just before nightfall, in a small village about ten miles from L——, a laborer claimed he had seen a young woman dressed as I had described. He said she walked past him on a path through the fields just before noon; he was surprised to see someone so young, well-dressed, and not from the area (since he recognized the ladies from the few families nearby) walking alone. As he stepped off the path to let her by, he looked closely at her face, but she didn’t seem to notice him—she appeared to be staring straight ahead, into space. If her expression hadn’t been so calm and gentle, he would have thought, for reasons he could hardly explain, that she wasn’t quite right in her mind; there was a strange, unseeing look in her eyes, as if she were walking in a dream. Her pace was steady—neither fast nor slow. He watched her until she disappeared from sight, moving into a wood where the path wound its way to a village further on.
I followed up this clew. I arrived at the village to which my informant directed me, but night had set in. Most of the houses were closed, so I could glean no further information from the cottages or at the inn. But the police superintendent of the district lived in the village, and to him I gave instructions which I had not given, and, indeed, would have been disinclined to give, to the police at L——. He was intelligent and kindly; he promised to communicate at once with the different police-stations for miles round, and with all delicacy and privacy. It was not probable that Lilian could have wandered in one day much farther than the place at which I then was; it was scarcely to be conceived that she could baffle my pursuit and the practised skill of the police. I rested but a few hours, at a small public-house, and was on horseback again at dawn. A little after sunrise I again heard of the wanderer. At a lonely cottage, by a brick-kiln, in the midst of a wide common, she had stopped the previous evening, and asked for a draught of milk. The woman who gave it to her inquired if she had lost her way. She said “No;” and, only tarrying a few minutes, had gone across the common; and the woman supposed she was a visitor at a gentleman’s house which was at the farther end of the waste, for the path she took led to no town, no village. It occurred to me then that Lilian avoided all high-roads, all places, even the humblest, where men congregated together. But where could she have passed the night? Not to fatigue the reader with the fruitless result of frequent inquiries, I will but say that at the end of the second day I had succeeded in ascertaining that I was still on her track; and though I had ridden to and fro nearly double the distance—coming back again to places I had left behind—it was at the distance of forty miles from L—— that I last heard of her that second day. She had been sitting alone by a little brook only an hour before. I was led to the very spot by a woodman—it was at the hour of twilight when he beheld her; she was leaning her face on her hand, and seemed weary. He spoke to her; she did not answer, but rose and resumed her way along the banks of the streamlet. That night I put up at no inn; I followed the course of the brook for miles, then struck into every path that I could conceive her to have taken,—in vain. Thus I consumed the night on foot, tying my horse to a tree, for he was tired out, and returning to him at sunrise. At noon, the third day, I again heard of her, and in a remote, savage part of the country. The features of the landscape were changed; there was little foliage and little culture, but the ground was broken into moulds and hollows, and covered with patches of heath and stunted brushwood. She had been seen by a shepherd, and he made the same observation as the first who had guided me on her track,—she looked to him “like some one walking in her sleep.” An hour or two later, in a dell, amongst the furze-bushes, I chanced on a knot of ribbon. I recognized the colour Lilian habitually wore; I felt certain that the ribbon was hers. Calculating the utmost speed I could ascribe to her, she could not be far off, yet still I failed to discover her. The scene now was as solitary as a desert. I met no one on my way. At length, a little after sunset, I found myself in view of the sea. A small town nestled below the cliffs, on which I was guiding my weary horse. I entered the town, and while my horse was baiting went in search of the resident policeman. The information I had directed to be sent round the country had reached him; he had acted on it, but without result. I was surprised to hear him address me by name, and looking at him more narrowly, I recognized him for the policeman Waby. This young man had always expressed so grateful a sense of my attendance on his sister, and had, indeed, so notably evinced his gratitude in prosecuting with Margrave the inquiries which terminated in the discovery of Sir Philip Derval’s murderer, that I confided to him the name of the wanderer, of which he had not been previously informed; but which it would be, indeed, impossible to conceal from him should the search in which his aid was asked prove successful,—as he knew Miss Ashleigh by sight. His face immediately became thoughtful. He paused a minute or two, and then said,—
I followed this lead. I arrived at the village my informant had pointed me to, but it was already night. Most of the houses were shut, so I couldn’t get any more information from the cottages or the inn. However, the police superintendent of the area lived in the village, and I gave him instructions that I hadn’t given, and honestly would have been reluctant to give, to the police at L——. He was smart and kind; he promised to immediately reach out to the various police stations in the surrounding area, and do so with care and confidentiality. It seemed unlikely that Lilian could have wandered very far in one day from where I was; it was hard to believe she could evade my search and the experienced skills of the police. I rested for only a few hours at a small pub and was back on horseback at dawn. A little after sunrise, I heard about the wanderer again. At a lonely cottage by a brick kiln, in the midst of a wide common, she had stopped the previous evening and asked for a glass of milk. The woman who served her asked if she had lost her way. Lilian said “No,” and, only staying for a few minutes, had crossed the common; the woman thought she was a guest at a nearby gentleman’s house since the path she took led to no town or village. It occurred to me then that Lilian was avoiding all highways, all places, even the simplest ones, where people gathered. But where could she have spent the night? Without wearing out the reader with the unproductive outcome of multiple inquiries, I’ll just say that by the end of the second day, I had learned that I was still on her trail; and although I had traveled to and fro nearly twice the distance—returning to places I had left behind—it was at a distance of forty miles from L—— that I last heard of her that second day. She had been sitting alone by a small stream just an hour before. A woodman led me to the very spot—he saw her at twilight; she was resting her face on her hand and appeared tired. He spoke to her; she didn’t respond but got up and continued along the stream. That night I didn’t stay at any inn; I followed the stream for miles and ventured into every path I thought she might have taken—without success. I spent the night on foot, tying my exhausted horse to a tree and returning to him at sunrise. By noon on the third day, I heard about her again, this time in a remote, wild area of the country. The landscape was different; there was little greenery and little cultivation, but the ground was uneven and covered with patches of heath and scraggly bushes. A shepherd had seen her, and he made the same remark as the first one who helped me find her—she looked to him "like someone walking in her sleep." A little while later, in a hollow area among the gorse bushes, I happened upon a piece of ribbon. I recognized the color Lilian usually wore; I was certain it was hers. Estimating how fast she could possibly be moving, she couldn’t be far off, yet I still couldn’t find her. The scene was as desolate as a desert. I encountered no one on my way. Finally, just after sunset, I found myself overlooking the sea. A small town sat below the cliffs, on which I was guiding my tired horse. I entered the town, and while my horse rested, I went to look for the local policeman. The information I had asked to be sent out had reached him; he had acted on it, but with no results. I was surprised when he addressed me by name, and as I looked at him more closely, I recognized him as Policeman Waby. This young man had always shown deep gratitude for my help with his sister and had notably expressed his thanks through his efforts with Margrave in the inquiries that led to the capture of Sir Philip Derval’s murderer. I confided the name of the wanderer to him, which he hadn’t known before; but it would be impossible to keep it from him if the search in which I needed his help was successful, as he recognized Miss Ashleigh by sight. His expression turned serious immediately. He paused for a minute or two, then said,—
“I think I have it, but I do not like to say; I may pain you, sir.”
“I think I understand, but I don’t want to say it; I might hurt you, sir.”
“Not by confidence; you pain me by concealment.”
“Not by confidence; you hurt me by hiding things.”
The man hesitated still: I encouraged him, and then he spoke out frankly.
The man hesitated for a moment; I encouraged him, and then he spoke openly.
“Sir, did you never think it strange that Mr. Margrave should move from his handsome rooms in the hotel to a somewhat uncomfortable lodging, from the window of which he could look down on Mrs. Ashleigh’s garden? I have seen him at night in the balcony of that window, and when I noticed him going so frequently into Mrs. Ashleigh’s house during your unjust detention, I own, sir, I felt for you—”
“Sir, have you ever found it odd that Mr. Margrave left his nice hotel room for a rather uncomfortable place where he could see into Mrs. Ashleigh’s garden? I’ve seen him at night on the balcony of that room, and when I noticed him going into Mrs. Ashleigh’s house so often during your unfair detention, I have to admit, sir, I felt for you—”
“Nonsense! Mr. Margrave went to Mrs. Ashleigh’s house as my friend. He has left L—— weeks ago. What has all this to do with—”
“Nonsense! Mr. Margrave went to Mrs. Ashleigh’s house as my friend. He left L—— weeks ago. What does this have to do with—”
“Patience, sir; hear me out. I was sent from L—— to this station (on promotion, sir) a fortnight since last Friday, for there has been a good deal of crime hereabouts; it is a bad neighbourhood, and full of smugglers. Some days ago, in watching quietly near a lonely house, of which the owner is a suspicious character down in my books, I saw, to my amazement, Mr. Margrave come out of that house,—come out of a private door in it, which belongs to a part of the building not inhabited by the owner, but which used formerly, when the house was a sort of inn, to be let to night lodgers of the humblest description. I followed him; he went down to the seashore, walked about, singing to himself; then returned to the house, and re-entered by the same door. I soon learned that he lodged in the house,—had lodged there for several days. The next morning, a fine yacht arrived at a tolerably convenient creek about a mile from the house, and there anchored. Sailors came ashore, rambling down to this town. The yacht belonged to Mr. Margrave; he had purchased it by commission in London. It is stored for a long voyage. He had directed it to come to him in this out-of-the-way place, where no gentleman’s yacht ever put in before, though the creek or bay is handy enough for such craft. Well, sir, is it not strange that a rich young gentleman should come to this unfrequented seashore, put up with accommodation that must be of the rudest kind, in the house of a man known as a desperate smuggler, suspected to be worse; order a yacht to meet him here; is not all this strange? But would it be strange if he were waiting for a young lady? And if a young lady has fled at night from her home, and has come secretly along bypaths, which must have been very fully explained to her beforehand, and is now near that young gentleman’s lodging, if not actually in it—if this be so, why, the affair is not so very strange after all. And now do you forgive me, sir?”
“Patience, sir; let me explain. I was sent from L—— to this station (on promotion, sir) two weeks ago last Friday, because there's been a lot of crime around here; it’s a rough neighborhood, full of smugglers. A few days ago, while I was quietly watching near a secluded house owned by a suspicious character on my list, I was shocked to see Mr. Margrave come out of that house—through a private door that leads to a part of the building not occupied by the owner, which used to be rented out to the humblest types of night lodgers when the house was an inn. I followed him; he went down to the beach, strolled around, singing to himself; then he returned to the house and went back in through the same door. I soon found out that he was staying there—had been for several days. The next morning, a nice yacht arrived at a fairly convenient creek about a mile from the house and anchored there. Sailors came ashore and wandered down to this town. The yacht belonged to Mr. Margrave; he had bought it by commission in London. It's stocked for a long journey. He had it sent to this remote location, where no gentleman’s yacht has ever docked before, even though the creek or bay is suitable for such boats. Well, sir, isn't it strange that a wealthy young gentleman would come to this isolated coastline, settle for accommodations that must be very basic, in the house of a man known as a notorious smuggler who’s suspected of worse; arrange for a yacht to meet him here—doesn't all that seem odd? But would it seem strange if he were waiting for a young lady? And if a young lady has escaped at night from her home, making her way secretly through paths that must have been explained to her beforehand, and is now near that young man’s lodging, if not actually in it—if this is the case, then maybe it’s not so strange after all. So now, do you forgive me, sir?”
“Where is this house? Lead me to it.”
“Where is this house? Show me the way.”
“You can hardly get to it except on foot; rough walking, sir, and about seven miles off by the shortest cut.”
“You can barely reach it without walking; it's tough terrain, sir, and it's about seven miles away by the quickest route.”
“Come, and at once; come quickly. We must be there before—before—”
“Come on, right now; hurry up. We have to be there before—before—”
“Before the young lady can get to the place. Well, from what you say of the spot in which she was last seen, I think, on reflection, we may easily do that. I am at your service, sir. But I should warn you that the owners of the house, man and wife, are both of villanous character,—would do anything for money. Mr. Margrave, no doubt, has money enough; and if the young lady chooses to go away with Mr. Margrave, you know I have no power to help it.”
“Before the young lady can get to the location. Based on what you’ve said about the place where she was last seen, I think we can easily manage that. I'm here to help, sir. However, I should warn you that the owners of the house, the husband and wife, are both unscrupulous—they would do anything for money. Mr. Margrave undoubtedly has plenty of money, and if the young lady decides to leave with Mr. Margrave, I have no authority to stop it.”
“Leave all that to me; all I ask of you is to show me the house.”
“Leave all that to me; all I need from you is to show me the house.”
We were soon out of the town; the night had closed in; it was very dark, in spite of a few stars; the path was rugged and precipitous, sometimes skirting the very brink of perilous cliffs, sometimes delving down to the seashore—there stopped by rock or wave—and painfully rewinding up the ascent.
We quickly left the town behind; night had fallen; it was really dark, despite a few stars shining; the path was rough and steep, sometimes hugging the edge of dangerous cliffs, sometimes dropping down to the shoreline—blocked by rocks or waves—and then painfully climbing back up again.
“It is an ugly path, sir, but it saves four miles; and anyhow the road is a bad one.”
“It’s a rough path, sir, but it cuts off four miles; and anyway, the road isn’t great.”
We came, at last, to a few wretched fishermen’s huts. The moon had now risen, and revealed the squalor of poverty-stricken ruinous hovels; a couple of boats moored to the shore, a moaning, fretful sea; and at a distance a vessel, with lights on board, lying perfectly still at anchor in a sheltered curve of the bold rude shore. The policeman pointed to the vessel.
We finally arrived at some miserable fishermen's huts. The moon had risen and exposed the shabby, rundown shacks; there were a couple of boats tied to the shore, a restless, complaining sea; and in the distance, a ship with lights on it, sitting perfectly still at anchor in a protected bend of the rugged shore. The officer pointed to the ship.
“The yacht, sir; the wind will be in her favour if she sails tonight.”
“The yacht, sir; the wind will be in her favor if she sets sail tonight.”
We quickened our pace as well as the nature of the path would permit, left the huts behind us, and about a mile farther on came to a solitary house, larger than, from the policeman’s description of Margrave’s lodgement, I should have presupposed: a house that in the wilder parts of Scotland might be almost a laird’s; but even in the moonlight it looked very dilapidated and desolate. Most of the windows were closed, some with panes broken, stuffed with wisps of straw; there were the remains of a wall round the house; it was broken in some parts (only its foundation left). On approaching the house I observed two doors,—one on the side fronting the sea, one on the other side, facing a patch of broken ground that might once have been a garden, and lay waste within the enclosure of the ruined wall, encumbered with various litter; heaps of rubbish, a ruined shed, the carcass of a worn-out boat. This latter door stood wide open,—the other was closed. The house was still and dark, as if either deserted, or all within it retired to rest.
We picked up the pace as much as the path would allow, leaving the huts behind us. About a mile later, we came across a lonely house, bigger than I would have imagined from the policeman’s description of Margrave’s place. It was the kind of house that might belong to a landowner in the remote parts of Scotland, but even in the moonlight, it appeared very rundown and empty. Most of the windows were shut, some with broken panes stuffed with clumps of straw. There were remnants of a wall around the house, which was crumbling in some areas, with only its foundation left. As we approached, I noticed two doors—one on the side facing the sea, and one on the other side overlooking a patch of broken ground that might have once been a garden. That area was now overgrown and filled with debris: piles of trash, a dilapidated shed, and the remains of an old boat. The door on that side was wide open, while the other was shut. The house was quiet and dark, as if it was either abandoned or everyone inside had gone to bed.
“I think that open door leads at once to the rooms Mr. Margrave hires; he can go in and out without disturbing the other inmates. They used to keep, on the side which they inhabit, a beer-house, but the magistrates shut it up; still, it is a resort for bad characters. Now, sir, what shall we do?
“I think that open door leads right to the rooms Mr. Margrave rents; he can come and go without bothering the other residents. They used to have a bar on their side, but the magistrates closed it down; still, it attracts shady characters. So, sir, what should we do?
“Watch separately. You wait within the enclosure of the wall, hid by those heaps of rubbish, near the door; none can enter but what you will observe them. If you see her, you will accost and stop her, and call aloud for me; I shall be in hearing. I will go back to the high part of the ground yonder—it seems to me that she must pass that way; and I would desire, if possible, to save her from the humiliation, the—the shame of coming within the precincts of that man’s abode. I feel I may trust you now and hereafter. It is a great thing for the happiness and honour of this poor young lady and her mother, that I may be able to declare that I did not take her from that man, from any man—from that house, from any house. You comprehend me, and will obey? I speak to you as a confidant,—a friend.”
“Watch separately. You wait inside the wall, hidden by those piles of trash, near the door; no one can enter without you seeing them. If you spot her, you’ll approach and stop her, and call out for me; I’ll be within earshot. I’ll head back to the higher ground over there—it seems she must pass that way; and I want to, if possible, save her from the humiliation, the— the shame of stepping foot inside that man’s home. I feel I can trust you now and in the future. It’s crucial for the happiness and dignity of this poor young lady and her mother that I can say I didn’t take her from that man, from any man—from that house, from any house. Do you understand me, and will you obey? I’m speaking to you as a confidant—a friend.”
“I thank you with my whole heart, sir, for so doing. You saved my sister’s life, and the least I can do is to keep secret all that would pain your life if blabbed abroad. I know what mischief folks’ tongues can make. I will wait by the door, never fear, and will rather lose my place than not strain all the legal power I possess to keep the young lady back from sorrow.”
“I sincerely thank you, sir, for what you’ve done. You saved my sister’s life, and the least I can do is keep quiet about anything that would hurt you if it got out. I know how much trouble people can cause with their words. I’ll wait by the door, don’t worry, and I’d rather lose my spot than not use every legal option I have to keep the young lady from feeling sad.”
This dialogue was interchanged in close hurried whisper behind the broken wall, and out of all hearing. Waby now crept through a wide gap into the inclosure, and nestled himself silently amidst the wrecks of the broken boat, not six feet from the open door, and close to the wall of the house itself. I went back some thirty yards up the road, to the rising ground which I had pointed out to him. According to the best calculation I could make—considering the pace at which I had cleared the precipitous pathway, and reckoning from the place and time at which Lilian had been last seen-she could not possibly have yet entered that house. I might presume it would be more than half an hour before she could arrive; I was in hopes that, during the interval, Margrave might show himself, perhaps at the door, or from the windows, or I might even by some light from the latter be guided to the room in which to find him. If, after waiting a reasonable time, Lilian should fail to appear, I had formed my plan of action; but it was important for the success of that plan that I should not lose myself in the strange house, nor bring its owners to Margrave’s aid,—that I should surprise him alone and unawares. Half an hour, three quarters, a whole hour thus passed. No sign of my poor wanderer; but signs there were of the enemy from whom I resolved, at whatever risk, to free and to save her. A window on the ground-floor, to the left of the door, which had long fixed my attention because I had seen light through the chinks of the shutters, slowly unclosed, the shutters fell back, the casement opened, and I beheld Margrave distinctly; he held something in his hand that gleamed in the moonlight, directed not towards the mound on which I stood, nor towards the path I had taken, but towards an open space beyond the ruined wall to the right. Hid by a cluster of stunted shrubs I watched him with a heart that beat with rage, not with terror. He seemed so intent in his own gaze as to be unheeding or unconscious of all else. I stole from my post, and, still under cover, sometimes of the broken wall, sometimes of the shaggy ridges that skirted the path, crept on, on till I reached the side of the house itself; then, there secure from his eyes, should he turn them, I stepped over the ruined wall, scarcely two feet high in that place, on—on towards the door. I passed the spot on which the policeman had shrouded himself; he was seated, his back against the ribs of the broken boat. I put my hand to his mouth that he might not cry out in surprise, and whispered in his ear; he stirred not. I shook him by the arm: still he stirred not. A ray of the moon fell on his face. I saw that he was in a profound slumber. Persuaded that it was no natural sleep, and that he had become useless to me, I passed him by. I was at the threshold of the open door, the light from the window close by falling on the ground; I was in the passage; a glimmer came through the chinks of a door to the left; I turned the handle noiselessly, and, the next moment, Margrave was locked in my grasp.
This conversation was exchanged in a quick, hushed whisper behind the broken wall, completely out of earshot. Waby cautiously crept through a wide gap into the enclosure and positioned himself silently among the wreckage of the broken boat, not more than six feet from the open door and right against the wall of the house itself. I moved back about thirty yards up the road to the elevated spot I had pointed out to him. Based on my best estimation—considering the pace at which I had navigated the steep pathway and calculating from the location and time when Lilian had last been seen—she could not have entered that house yet. I estimated it would take her at least half an hour to arrive; I hoped that during that time, Margrave might reveal himself, perhaps at the door or from the windows, or I could even catch a glimpse of him through the latter that would guide me to the room where he was. If after waiting a reasonable amount of time Lilian didn’t show up, I had a plan in mind; but it was crucial for the success of that plan that I didn’t get lost in the unfamiliar house, nor alert its owners to Margrave’s presence—that I surprise him alone and unaware. Half an hour, three-quarters of an hour, a full hour went by. No sign of my poor wanderer; but there were signs of the enemy from whom I was determined, at any risk, to rescue her. A window on the ground floor to the left of the door, which had caught my attention because I had seen light shine through the cracks in the shutters, slowly opened, the shutters drew back, the windows opened, and I clearly saw Margrave; he was holding something in his hand that sparkled in the moonlight, aimed not towards the mound where I stood nor towards the path I had taken, but towards an open space beyond the ruined wall to the right. Hidden behind a cluster of short shrubs, I watched him, my heart pounding with rage, not fear. He seemed so focused on whatever he was looking at that he was unaware of his surroundings. I quietly left my spot and, still hidden—sometimes behind the broken wall, sometimes behind the rugged edges by the path—crept closer until I reached the side of the house itself; then, safely out of his sight, I stepped over the ruined wall, only about two feet high at that point, and made my way towards the door. I passed the spot where the policeman had hidden himself; he was sitting with his back against the remains of the broken boat. I placed my hand over his mouth to prevent him from crying out in surprise and whispered in his ear; he didn’t move. I shook him by the arm: still no reaction. A beam of moonlight illuminated his face. I realized he was in a deep sleep. Convinced it was not a natural sleep and that he was no longer of any use to me, I moved past him. I stood at the threshold of the open door, the light from the nearby window casting a glow on the ground; I stepped into the passage; a faint light shone through the cracks of a door to the left; I turned the handle quietly, and the next moment, I had Margrave locked in my grasp.
“Call out,” I hissed in his ear, “and I strangle you before any one can come to your help.”
“Shout,” I whispered fiercely in his ear, “and I’ll choke you before anyone can come to your rescue.”
He did not call out; his eye, fixed on mine as he writhed round, saw, perhaps, his peril if he did. His countenance betrayed fear, but as I tightened my grasp that expression gave way to one of wrath and fierceness; and as, in turn, I felt the grip of his hand, I knew that the struggle between us would be that of two strong men, each equally bent on the mastery of the other.
He didn’t shout out; his gaze, locked on mine as he twisted around, probably saw his danger if he did. His face showed fear, but as I tightened my hold, that look shifted to one of anger and intensity; and as I felt his hand grip me in return, I realized that our struggle would be that of two strong men, each determined to overpower the other.
I was, as I have said before, endowed with an unusual degree of physical power, disciplined in early youth by athletic exercise and contest. In height and in muscle I had greatly the advantage over my antagonist; but such was the nervous vigour, the elastic energy of his incomparable frame, in which sinews seemed springs of steel, that had our encounter been one in which my strength was less heightened by rage, I believe that I could no more have coped with him than the bison can cope with the boa; but I was animated by that passion which trebles for a time all our forces,—which makes even the weak man a match for the strong. I felt that if I were worsted, disabled, stricken down, Lilian might be lost in losing her sole protector; and on the other hand, Margrave had been taken at the disadvantage of that surprise which will half unnerve the fiercest of the wild beasts; while as we grappled, reeling and rocking to and fro in our struggle, I soon observed that his attention was distracted,—that his eye was turned towards an object which he had dropped involuntarily when I first seized him. He sought to drag me towards that object, and when near it stooped to seize. It was a bright, slender, short wand of steel. I remembered when and where I had seen it, whether in my waking state or in vision; and as his hand stole down to take it from the floor, I set on the wand my strong foot. I cannot tell by what rapid process of thought and association I came to the belief that the possession of a little piece of blunted steel would decide the conflict in favor of the possessor; but the struggle now was concentred on the attainment of that seemingly idle weapon. I was becoming breathless and exhausted, while Margrave seemed every moment to gather up new force, when collecting all my strength for one final effort, I lifted him suddenly high in the air, and hurled him to the farthest end of the cramped arena to which our contest was confined. He fell, and with a force by which most men would have been stunned; but he recovered himself with a quick rebound, and, as he stood facing me, there was something grand as well as terrible in his aspect. His eyes literally flamed, as those of a tiger; his rich hair, flung back from his knitted forehead, seemed to erect itself as an angry mane; his lips, slightly parted, showed the glitter of his set teeth; his whole frame seemed larger in the tension of the muscles, and as, gradually relaxing his first defying and haughty attitude, he crouched as the panther crouches for its deadly spring, I felt as if it were a wild beast, whose rush was coming upon me,—wild beast, but still Man, the king of the animals, fashioned forth from no mixture of humbler races by the slow revolutions of time, but his royalty stamped on his form when the earth became fit for his coming.(1)
I’ve mentioned before that I had an extraordinary level of physical strength, shaped in my early years by sports and competition. I had a significant advantage over my opponent in both height and muscle; however, his incredible nervous energy and the resilience of his powerful body, which felt like steel springs, meant that if our fight hadn’t been fueled by my anger, I doubt I could have matched him any more than a bison could contend with a boa. But I was driven by a passion that temporarily boosts our abilities, making even the weak competitive against the strong. I knew that if I lost—if I was beaten, hurt, or taken down—Lilian might be left vulnerable without her sole protector. On the other hand, Margrave was at a disadvantage due to the surprise attack that can unnerve even the fiercest wild animals. As we grappled, stumbling and swaying in our struggle, I quickly noticed that his focus was shifting; his gaze was drawn to an object he had unintentionally dropped when I first grabbed him. He tried to pull me toward that object, and when we got close, he bent down to pick it up. It was a slim, shiny steel wand. I remembered when and where I had seen it, whether in reality or a vision; and as his hand reached for it on the floor, I placed my strong foot on the wand. I can't explain how I quickly came to believe that owning a small piece of dull steel would tip the battle in favor of whoever had it, but the fight now revolved around grabbing that seemingly pointless weapon. I was becoming breathless and worn out, while Margrave seemed to gain more strength by the moment. Gathering all my energy for one last push, I suddenly lifted him high into the air and threw him to the farthest end of the cramped space where we were fighting. He fell hard enough to stun most people, but he bounced back quickly, and as he faced me, he appeared both majestic and terrifying. His eyes literally burned with intensity, like a tiger’s; his rich hair, pushed back from his furrowed brow, formed an angry mane; his slightly parted lips revealed the gleam of his clenched teeth; his entire body appeared larger as his muscles tensed. Gradually relaxing his initial defiant and proud posture, he crouched like a panther preparing to spring, and I felt as if I were facing a wild beast about to charge at me—a wild beast that was still a man, the king of all animals, molded by no mix of lesser races over time, but whose royal essence was imprinted on him when the earth became ready for his arrival.
At that moment I snatched up the wand, directed it towards him, and advancing with a fearless stride, cried,—
At that moment, I grabbed the wand, pointed it at him, and walked forward confidently, shouting—
“Down to my feet, miserable sorcerer!”
“Get down to my feet, you miserable sorcerer!”
To my own amaze, the effect was instantaneous. My terrible antagonist dropped to the floor as a dog drops at the word of his master. The muscles of his frowning countenance relaxed, the glare of his wrathful eyes grew dull and rayless; his limbs lay prostrate and unnerved, his head rested against the wall, his arms limp and drooping by his side. I approached him slowly and cautiously; he seemed cast into a profound slumber.
To my surprise, the effect was immediate. My fierce opponent collapsed to the floor like a dog at its master’s command. The muscles in his tense face softened, the intensity of his angry eyes became dull and lifeless; his limbs were sprawled out and weak, his head leaned against the wall, and his arms hung limply at his sides. I approached him slowly and carefully; he appeared to be in a deep sleep.
“You are at my mercy now!” said I.
“You’re at my mercy now!” I said.
He moved his head as in sign of deprecating submission.
He nodded his head as a sign of humble submission.
“You hear and understand me? Speak!”
“You hear me and get what I’m saying? Speak!”
His lips faintly muttered, “Yes.”
He quietly murmured, “Yes.”
“I command you to answer truly the questions I shall address to you.”
“I urge you to answer the questions I’m going to ask you honestly.”
“I must, while yet sensible of the power that has passed to your hand.”
“I have to, while I'm still aware of the power that has shifted to your control.”
“Is it by some occult magnetic property in this wand that you have exercised so demoniac an influence over a creature so pure as Lilian Ashleigh?”
“Is it some secret magnetic force in this wand that gives you such a wicked influence over someone as innocent as Lilian Ashleigh?”
“By that wand and by other arts which you could not comprehend.”
“By that wand and by other skills that you couldn't understand.”
“And for what infamous object,—her seduction, her dishonour?”
“And for what disgraceful purpose—her seduction, her dishonor?”
“No! I sought in her the aid of a gift which would cease did she cease to be pure. At first I but cast my influence upon her that through her I might influence yourself. I needed your help to discover a secret. Circumstances steeled your mind against me. I could no longer hope that you would voluntarily lend yourself to my will. Meanwhile, I had found in her the light of a loftier knowledge than that of your science; through that knowledge, duly heeded and cultivated, I hoped to divine what I cannot of myself discover. Therefore I deepened over her mind the spells I command; therefore I have drawn her hither as the loadstone draws the steel, and therefore I would have borne her with me to the shores to which I was about this night to sail. I had cast the inmates of the house and all around it into slumber, in order that none might witness her departure; had I not done so, I should have summoned others to my aid, in spite of your threat.”
“No! I sought her help for a gift that would disappear if she lost her purity. At first, I tried to influence her so that I could influence you. I needed your assistance to uncover a secret. Circumstances hardened your mind against me. I could no longer expect you to willingly submit to my will. In the meantime, I discovered in her a deeper understanding than your science offers; through that knowledge, if properly nurtured, I hoped to uncover what I couldn't find on my own. That's why I intensified the spells I can control over her mind; that's why I brought her here like a magnet pulls metal, and that's why I intended to take her with me to the shores I was about to sail to tonight. I had put everyone in the house and the surroundings into a deep sleep so that no one would see her leave; if I hadn't, I would have called others for help, despite your warning.”
“And would Lilian Ashleigh have passively accompanied you, to her own irretrievable disgrace?”
“And would Lilian Ashleigh have just gone along with you, leading to her own unforgettable shame?”
“She could not have helped it; she would have been unconscious of her acts; she was, and is, in a trance; nor, had she gone with me, would she have waked from that state while she lived; that would not have been long.”
“She couldn't have helped it; she wouldn’t have been aware of her actions; she was, and is, in a daze; and even if she had gone with me, she wouldn’t have come out of that state while she lived; that wouldn’t have lasted long.”
“Wretch! and for what object of unhallowed curiosity do you exert an influence which withers away the life of its victim?”
“Wretch! And for what purpose of forbidden curiosity do you use your power to drain the life from its victim?”
“Not curiosity, but the instinct of self-preservation. I count on no life beyond the grave. I would defy the grave, and live on.”
“It's not curiosity, but the instinct for self-preservation. I don't believe in any life after death. I would challenge death and keep living.”
“And was it to learn, through some ghastly agencies, the secret of renewing existence, that you lured me by the shadow of your own image on the night when we met last?”
“And was it to discover, through some terrible means, the secret of renewing life, that you enticed me with the shadow of your own image on the night we last met?”
The voice of Margrave here became very faint as he answered me, and his countenance began to exhibit the signs of an exhaustion almost mortal.
The voice of Margrave here became very faint as he answered me, and his face started to show signs of extreme fatigue, almost fatal.
“Be quick,” he murmured, “or I die. The fluid which emanates from that wand, in the hand of one who envenoms that fluid with his own hatred and rage, will prove fatal to my life. Lower the wand from my forehead! low—low,—lower still!”
“Be quick,” he whispered, “or I’ll die. The substance that comes from that wand, in the hands of someone who poisons it with their own hatred and anger, will be deadly to me. Lower the wand from my forehead! Lower—lower—still lower!”
“What was the nature of that rite in which you constrained me to share?”
“What was the nature of that ritual you forced me to participate in?”
“I cannot say. You are killing me. Enough that you were saved from a great danger by the apparition of the protecting image vouchsafed to your eye; otherwise you would—you would—Oh, release me! Away! away!”
“I can’t say. You’re driving me crazy. It’s enough that you were saved from a huge danger by the vision of the protective image granted to you; otherwise, you would—you would—Oh, let me go! Go away! Go away!”
The foam gathered to his lips; his limbs became fearfully convulsed.
The foam collected on his lips; his limbs started to shake wildly.
“One question more: where is Lilian at this moment? Answer that question, and I depart.”
“One more question: where is Lilian right now? Answer that, and I'll leave.”
He raised his head, made a visible effort to rally his strength, and gasped out,—
He lifted his head, visibly straining to gather his strength, and gasped out,—
“Yonder. Pass through the open space up the cliff, beside a thorn-tree; you will find her there, where she halted when the wand dropped from my hand. But—but—beware! Ha! you will serve me yet, and through her! They said so that night, though you heard them not. They said it!” Here his face became death-like; he pressed his hand on his heart, and shrieked out, “Away! away! or you are my murderer!”
“Over there. Go through the open space up the cliff, next to a thorn tree; you’ll find her there, where she stopped when the wand fell from my hand. But—but—be careful! Ha! you will serve me yet, and through her! They said that that night, even though you didn’t hear them. They said it!” At this, his face turned pale; he pressed his hand to his heart and cried out, “Get away! Get away! or you will be my killer!”
I retreated to the other end of the room, turning the wand from him, and when I gained the door, looked back; his convulsions had ceased, but he seemed locked in a profound swoon.
I moved to the other end of the room, turning the wand away from him, and when I reached the door, I looked back; his spasms had stopped, but he seemed to be in a deep unconscious state.
I left the room,—the house,—paused by Waby; he was still sleeping. “Awake!” I said, and touched him with the wand. He started up at once, rubbed his eyes, began stammering out excuses. I checked them, and bade him follow me. I took the way up the open ground towards which Margrave had pointed the wand, and there, motionless, beside a gnarled fantastic thorn-tree, stood Lilian. Her arms were folded across her breast; her face, seen by the moonlight, looked so innocent and so infantine, that I needed no other evidence to tell me how unconscious she was of the peril to which her steps had been drawn. I took her gently by the hand. “Come with me,” I said in a whisper, and she obeyed me silently, and with a placid smile.
I left the room—and the house—and paused by Waby; he was still asleep. “Wake up!” I said, touching him with the wand. He jumped up immediately, rubbed his eyes, and started stammering excuses. I stopped him and told him to follow me. I walked up the open ground toward where Margrave had pointed the wand, and there, motionless, next to a twisted, bizarre thorn tree, stood Lilian. Her arms were crossed over her chest; her face, illuminated by the moonlight, looked so innocent and childlike that I needed no further proof to see how unaware she was of the danger she had wandered into. I took her gently by the hand. “Come with me,” I whispered, and she followed me silently, wearing a calm smile.
Rough though the way, she seemed unconscious of fatigue. I placed her arm in mine, but she did not lean on it. We got back to the town. I obtained there an old chaise and a pair of horses. At morning Lilian was under her mother’s roof. About the noon of that day fever seized her; she became rapidly worse, and, to all appearance, in imminent danger. Delirium set in; I watched beside her night and day, supported by an inward conviction of her recovery, but tortured by the sight of her sufferings. On the third day a change for the better became visible; her sleep was calm, her breathing regular.
Rough as the journey was, she seemed unaware of her tiredness. I linked my arm with hers, but she didn’t lean on it. We made it back to town. I got an old carriage and a pair of horses there. By morning, Lilian was back under her mother’s roof. Around noon that day, she fell ill with a fever; she quickly worsened and seemed to be in serious danger. Delirium took hold; I stayed by her side day and night, holding on to a strong belief in her recovery while being tormented by the sight of her suffering. On the third day, a change for the better became clear; her sleep was peaceful, and her breathing was steady.
Shortly afterwards she woke out of danger. Her eyes fell at once on me, with all their old ineffable tender sweetness.
Shortly after, she woke up and was out of danger. Her eyes immediately locked onto mine, filled with their familiar, indescribable tenderness.
“Oh, Allen, beloved, have I not been very ill? But I am almost well now. Do not weep; I shall live for you,—for your sake.” And she bent forward, drawing my hand from my streaming eyes, and kissed me with a child’s guileless kiss on my burning forehead.
“Oh, Allen, my love, have I not been really sick? But I'm almost better now. Don’t cry; I will live for you—because of you.” And she leaned forward, taking my hand away from my tears, and kissed me with a child’s innocent kiss on my hot forehead.
(1) And yet, even if we entirely omit the consideration of the soul, that immaterial and immortal principle which is for a time united to his body, and view him only in his merely animal character, man is still the most excellent of animals.—Dr. Kidd, On the Adaptation of External Nature to the Physical Condition of Man (Sect. iii. p. 18).
(1) And yet, even if we completely ignore the idea of the soul, that non-physical and eternal aspect that's temporarily linked to his body, and only see him in his basic animal form, man is still the most superior of animals.—Dr. Kidd, On the Adaptation of External Nature to the Physical Condition of Man (Sect. iii. p. 18).
CHAPTER LVI.
Lilian recovered, but the strange thing was this: all memory of the weeks that had elapsed since her return from visiting her aunt was completely obliterated; she seemed in profound ignorance of the charge on which I had been confined,—perfectly ignorant even of the existence of Margrave. She had, indeed, a very vague reminiscence of her conversation with me in the garden,—the first conversation which had ever been embittered by a disagreement,—but that disagreement itself she did not recollect. Her belief was that she had been ill and light-headed since that evening. From that evening to the hour of her waking, conscious and revived, all was a blank. Her love for me was restored, as if its thread had never been broken. Some such instances of oblivion after bodily illness or mental shock are familiar enough to the practice of all medical men;(1) and I was therefore enabled to appease the anxiety and wonder of Mrs. Ashleigh, by quoting various examples of loss, or suspension, of memory. We agreed that it would be necessary to break to Lilian, though very cautiously, the story of Sir Philip Derval’s murder, and the charge to which I had been subjected. She could not fail to hear of those events from others. How shall I express her womanly terror, her loving, sympathizing pity, on hearing the tale, which I softened as well as I could?
Lilian got better, but the strange thing was this: all memory of the weeks that had passed since she returned from visiting her aunt was completely wiped out; she seemed to be totally unaware of the reason I had been confined—completely clueless even about Margrave's existence. She had, in fact, only a very vague memory of our conversation in the garden—the first talk that had ever turned sour—but she didn't remember the disagreement itself. She believed she had been sick and a bit out of it since that night. From that night until the moment she woke up, aware and revived, everything was a blank. Her love for me had returned, as if it had never been interrupted. Cases like this of forgetfulness after physical illness or mental shock are common enough in medical practice; and I was able to calm Mrs. Ashleigh's worry and curiosity by mentioning various examples of memory loss or lapses. We agreed that it would be necessary to carefully inform Lilian about the story of Sir Philip Derval's murder and the charge I had faced. She would inevitably hear about those events from others. How can I describe her womanly fear, her loving and sympathetic pity, when she heard the story, which I tried to soften as much as possible?
“And to think that I knew nothing of this!” she cried, clasping my hand; “to think that you were in peril, and that I was not by your side!”
“And to think that I knew nothing about this!” she exclaimed, holding my hand; “to think that you were in danger, and I wasn't there with you!”
Her mother spoke of Margrave, as a visitor,—an agreeable, lively stranger; Lilian could not even recollect his name, but she seemed shocked to think that any visitor had been admitted while I was in circumstances so awful! Need I say that our engagement was renewed? Renewed! To her knowledge and to her heart it had never been interrupted for a moment. But oh! the malignity of the wrong world! Oh, that strange lust of mangling reputations, which seizes on hearts the least wantonly cruel! Let two idle tongues utter a tale against some third person, who never offended the babblers, and how the tale spreads, like fire, lighted none know how, in the herbage of an American prairie! Who shall put it out?
Her mother talked about Margrave as if he were just a visitor—an enjoyable, lively stranger; Lilian couldn’t even remember his name, but she seemed shocked that anyone had been allowed in while I was in such a terrible situation! Should I mention that our engagement was reaffirmed? Reaffirmed! To her knowledge and in her heart, it had never been interrupted for even a second. But oh! the cruelty of the wicked world! Oh, that strange desire to destroy reputations, which grabs hold of hearts that are the least intentionally cruel! Let two idle gossipers spread a rumor about someone who never wronged them, and watch how the rumor spreads, like fire ignited from who knows where in the grasslands of an American prairie! Who can stop it?
What right have we to pry into the secrets of other men’s hearths? True or false, the tale that is gabbled to us, what concern of ours can it be? I speak not of cases to which the law has been summoned, which law has sifted, on which law has pronounced. But how, when the law is silent, can we assume its verdicts? How be all judges where there has been no witness-box, no cross-examination, no jury? Yet, every day we put on our ermine, and make ourselves judges,—judges sure to condemn, and on what evidence? That which no court of law will receive. Somebody has said something to somebody, which somebody repeats to everybody!
What right do we have to snoop into the secrets of other people's homes? Whether the story we hear is true or false, why should it matter to us? I'm not talking about cases that the law has addressed or judged. But how can we draw conclusions when the law is silent? How can we all act as judges when there hasn’t been a witness stand, no cross-examination, and no jury? Yet, every day we don our robes and take on the role of judges—judges who are sure to pass judgment, based on what evidence? Evidence that no court would accept. Someone said something to someone, and that person repeats it to everyone!
The gossip of L—— had set in full current against Lilian’s fair name. No ladies had called or sent to congratulate Mrs. Ashleigh on her return, or to inquire after Lilian herself during her struggle between life and death.
The gossip about L—— had created a strong current against Lilian’s good name. No women had reached out or sent their congrats to Mrs. Ashleigh on her return, nor had they checked in on Lilian during her fight for life.
How I missed the Queen of the Hill at this critical moment! How I longed for aid to crush the slander, with which I knew not how to grapple,—aid in her knowledge of the world and her ascendancy over its judgments! I had heard from her once since her absence, briefly but kindly expressing her amazement at the ineffable stupidity which could for a moment have subjected me to a suspicion of Sir Philip Derval’s strange murder, and congratulating me heartily on my complete vindication from so monstrous a charge. To this letter no address was given. I supposed the omission to be accidental, but on calling at her house to inquire her direction, I found that the servants did not know it.
How I missed the Queen of the Hill at this critical moment! How I wished for help to deal with the slander, which I didn't know how to tackle—help in her worldly wisdom and her influence over people's opinions! I had heard from her once since she left, briefly but kindly expressing her shock at the unimaginable ignorance that could even suggest I was involved in Sir Philip Derval’s bizarre murder, and congratulating me warmly on my complete exoneration from such a ridiculous accusation. No address was provided in her letter. I thought it was an oversight, but when I stopped by her house to ask for her address, I discovered that the staff didn’t know it either.
What, then, was my joy when just at this juncture I received a note from Mrs. Poyntz, stating that she had returned the night before, and would be glad to see me.
What was my joy when, at that moment, I received a note from Mrs. Poyntz saying that she had returned the night before and would be happy to see me.
I hastened to her house. “Ah,” thought I, as I sprang lightly up the ascent to the Hill, “how the tattlers will be silenced by a word from her imperial lips!” And only just as I approached her door did it strike me how difficult—nay, how impossible—to explain to her—the hard positive woman, her who had, less ostensibly but more ruthlessly than myself, destroyed Dr. Lloyd for his belief in the comparatively rational pretensions of clairvoyance—all the mystical excuses for Lilian’s flight from her home? How speak to her—or, indeed, to any one—about an occult fascination and a magic wand? No matter: surely it would be enough to say that at the time Lilian had been light-headed, under the influence of the fever which had afterwards nearly proved fatal, The early friend of Anne Ashleigh would not be a severe critic on any tale that might right the good name of Anne Ashleigh’s daughter. So assured, with a light heart and a cheerful face, I followed the servant into the great lady’s pleasant but decorous presence-chamber.
I hurried to her house. “Ah,” I thought as I lightly walked up the hill, “how the gossipers will be silenced by just one word from her royal lips!” But it only hit me when I got to her door how hard—no, how impossible—it would be to explain to her—the tough, uncompromising woman, who had, less openly but more ruthlessly than I, ruined Dr. Lloyd for believing in the somewhat reasonable claims of clairvoyance—all the mystical reasons for Lilian’s escape from her home. How could I talk to her—or anyone—about some hidden allure and a magic wand? No matter: it should be enough to say that at the time, Lilian had been feverish and light-headed, affected by the illness that almost killed her later. The early friend of Anne Ashleigh wouldn’t be too harsh a critic of any story that might help restore the good name of Anne Ashleigh’s daughter. So reassured, with a light heart and a cheerful expression, I followed the servant into the great lady’s pleasant but proper sitting room.
(1) Such instances of suspense of memory are recorded in most physiological and in some metaphysical works. Dr. Abercrombie notices some, more or less similar to that related in the text: “A young lady who was present at a catastrophe in Scotland, in which many people lost their lives by the fall of the gallery of a church, escaped without any injury, but with the complete loss of the recollection of any of the circumstances; and this extended not only to the accident, but to everything that had occurred to her for a certain time before going to church. A lady whom I attended some years ago in a protracted illness, in which her memory became much impaired, lost the recollection of a period of about ten or twelve years, but spoke with perfect consistency of things as they stood before that time.” Dr. Aberercmbie adds: “As far as I have been able to trace it, the principle in such cases seems to be, that when the memory is impaired to a certain degree, the loss of it extends backward to some event or some period by which a particularly deep impression had been made upon the mind.”—ABERCROMBIE: On the Intellectual Powers, pp. 118, 119 (15th edition).
(1) Instances of memory loss like this are mentioned in many physiological and some metaphysical works. Dr. Abercrombie notes some cases similar to the one described here: “A young woman was present during a tragedy in Scotland where many people died due to the collapse of a church gallery. She escaped unharmed but completely forgot all the details related to the incident, as well as everything that happened to her for a certain time before that day. A woman I cared for years ago during a long illness experienced significant memory loss, forgetting about ten to twelve years of her life, yet she spoke clearly and consistently about the period before that.” Dr. Abercrombie adds: “As far as I can determine, the principle in these cases appears to be that when memory is impaired to a certain extent, the loss tends to reach back to a specific event or period that left a particularly strong impression on the mind.”—ABERCROMBIE: On the Intellectual Powers, pp. 118, 119 (15th edition).
CHAPTER LVII.
Mrs. Poyntz was on her favourite seat by the window, and for a wonder, not knitting—that classic task seemed done; but she was smoothing and folding the completed work with her white comely hand, and smiling over it, as if in complacent approval, when I entered the room. At the fire-side sat the he-colonel inspecting a newly-invented barometer; at another window, in the farthest recess of the room, stood Miss Jane Poyntz, with a young gentleman whom I had never before seen, but who turned his eyes full upon me with a haughty look as the servant announced my name. He was tall, well proportioned, decidedly handsome, but with that expression of cold and concentred self-esteem in his very attitude, as well as his countenance, which makes a man of merit unpopular, a man without merit ridiculous.
Mrs. Poyntz was in her favorite seat by the window, and surprisingly, she wasn’t knitting— that usual task seemed finished; instead, she was smoothing and folding the completed piece with her lovely white hand, smiling at it as if she were happily approving of her work when I walked into the room. By the fireplace sat the colonel, examining a newly invented barometer; at another window in the far corner of the room stood Miss Jane Poyntz with a young man I had never seen before, who looked at me with an arrogant expression as the servant announced my name. He was tall, well-built, and definitely handsome, but there was an air of cold, intense self-importance in both his posture and his face, which makes a capable man unpopular and a less capable one look foolish.
The he-colonel, always punctiliously civil, rose from his seat, shook hands with me cordially, and said, “Coldish weather to-day; but we shall have rain to-morrow. Rainy seasons come in cycles. We are about to commence a cycle of them with heavy showers.” He sighed, and returned to his barometer.
The colonel, always very polite, got up from his seat, shook my hand warmly, and said, “It's a bit chilly today, but we’ll have rain tomorrow. Rainy seasons tend to come in cycles. We’re about to start one of those cycles with some heavy downpours.” He sighed and went back to checking his barometer.
Miss Jane bowed to me graciously enough, but was evidently a little confused,—a circumstance which might well attract my notice, for I had never before seen that high-bred young lady deviate a hairsbreadth from the even tenor of a manner admirable for a cheerful and courteous ease, which, one felt convinced, would be unaltered to those around her if an earthquake swallowed one up an inch before her feet.
Miss Jane bowed to me politely, but she seemed a bit confused—a detail that caught my attention because I had never seen that sophisticated young lady stray even slightly from her usual cheerful and courteous demeanor, which you could tell would remain unchanged even if an earthquake swallowed someone whole right in front of her.
The young gentleman continued to eye me loftily, as the heir-apparent to some celestial planet might eye an inferior creature from a half-formed nebula suddenly dropped upon his sublime and perfected, star.
The young man kept looking at me with superiority, like the heir to some heavenly planet might look down on a lesser being from a half-formed nebula that suddenly landed on his perfect, shining star.
Mrs. Poyntz extended to me two fingers, and said frigidly, “Delighted to see you again! How kind to attend so soon to my note!”
Mrs. Poyntz offered me two fingers and said coldly, “Great to see you again! How nice of you to respond to my note so quickly!”
Motioning me to a seat beside her, she here turned to her husband, and said, “Poyntz, since a cycle of rain begins tomorrow, better secure your ride to-day. Take these young people with you. I want to talk with Dr. Fenwick.”
Motioning for me to sit next to her, she turned to her husband and said, “Poyntz, since a rainy season starts tomorrow, you should get your ride today. Take these young folks with you. I want to have a chat with Dr. Fenwick.”
The colonel carefully put away his barometer, and saying to his daughter, “Come!” went forth. Jane followed her father; the young gentleman followed Jane.
The colonel tucked away his barometer and said to his daughter, “Come on!” as he headed out. Jane followed her father, and the young man followed Jane.
The reception I had met chilled and disappointed me. I felt that Mrs. Poyntz was changed, and in her change the whole house seemed changed. The very chairs looked civilly unfriendly, as if preparing to turn their backs on me. However, I was not in the false position of an intruder; I had been summoned; it was for Mrs. Poyntz to speak first, and I waited quietly for her to do so.
The reception I received was cold and disappointing. I felt that Mrs. Poyntz had changed, and with her change, the whole house felt different. Even the chairs seemed unfriendly, as if they were getting ready to turn away from me. However, I wasn’t in the awkward position of an intruder; I had been invited. It was up to Mrs. Poyntz to speak first, so I waited quietly for her to do so.
She finished the careful folding of her work, and then laid it at rest in the drawer of the table at which she sat. Having so done, she turned to me, and said,—
She finished neatly folding her work and then placed it gently in the drawer of the table where she sat. After doing that, she turned to me and said,—
“By the way, I ought to have introduced to you my young guest, Mr. Ashleigh Sumner. You would like him. He has talents,—not showy, but solid. He will succeed in public life.”
“By the way, I should have introduced you to my young guest, Mr. Ashleigh Sumner. You would like him. He has skills—not flashy, but reliable. He will do well in public life.”
“So that young man is Mr. Ashleigh Sumner? I do not wonder that Miss Ashleigh rejected him.”
“So that guy is Mr. Ashleigh Sumner? I’m not surprised that Miss Ashleigh turned him down.”
I said this, for I was nettled, as well as surprised, at the coolness with which a lady who had professed a friendship for me mentioned that fortunate young gentleman, with so complete an oblivion of all the antecedents that had once made his name painful to my ear.
I said this because I was irritated, as well as surprised, by how nonchalantly a lady who had claimed to be my friend brought up that lucky young man, completely forgetting all the background that had once made his name hard to hear.
In turn, my answer seemed to nettle Mrs. Poyntz.
In response, my answer seemed to annoy Mrs. Poyntz.
“I am not so sure that she did reject; perhaps she rather misunderstood him; gallant compliments are not always proposals of marriage. However that be, his spirits were not much damped by Miss Ashleigh’s disdain, nor his heart deeply smitten by her charms; for he is now very happy, very much attached to another young lady, to whom he proposed three days ago, at Lady Delafield’s, and not to make a mystery of what all our little world will know before tomorrow, that young lady is my daughter Jane.”
“I’m not entirely convinced that she rejected him; maybe she just misunderstood him. Flattering compliments don’t always mean a marriage proposal. Regardless, his spirits weren’t too affected by Miss Ashleigh’s disdain, nor was his heart deeply moved by her charms; he’s actually quite happy and very much in love with another young woman, to whom he proposed three days ago at Lady Delafield’s. And just to be clear about what everyone in our little circle will know by tomorrow, that young woman is my daughter Jane.”
“Were I acquainted with Mr. Sumner, I should offer to him my sincere congratulations.”
"If I knew Mr. Sumner, I would offer him my sincere congratulations."
Mrs. Poyntz resumed, without heeding a reply more complimentary to Miss Jane than to the object of her choice,—
Mrs. Poyntz continued, not paying attention to a response that was more flattering to Miss Jane than to the one she had picked,—
“I told you that I meant Jane to marry a rich country gentleman, and Ashleigh Sumner is the very country gentleman I had then in my thoughts. He is cleverer and more ambitious than I could have hoped; he will be a minister some day, in right of his talents, and a peer, if he wishes it, in right of his lands. So that matter is settled.”
“I told you that I planned for Jane to marry a wealthy country gentleman, and Ashleigh Sumner is exactly the country gentleman I had in mind. He’s smarter and more ambitious than I could have hoped for; he will be a minister one day, thanks to his talents, and a peer if he wants to be, due to his land. So that’s settled.”
There was a pause, during which my mind passed rapidly through links of reminiscence and reasoning, which led me to a mingled sentiment of admiration for Mrs. Poyntz as a diplomatist and of distrust for Mrs. Poyntz as a friend. It was now clear why Mrs. Poyntz, before so little disposed to approve my love, had urged me at once to offer my hand to Lilian, in order that she might depart affianced and engaged to the house in which she would meet Mr. Ashleigh Sumner. Hence Mrs. Poyntz’s anxiety to obtain all the information I could afford her of the sayings and doings at Lady Haughton’s; hence, the publicity she had so suddenly given to my engagement; hence, when Mr. Sumner had gone away a rejected suitor, her own departure from L——; she had seized the very moment when a vain and proud man, piqued by the mortification received from one lady, falls the easier prey to the arts which allure his suit to another. All was so far clear to me. And I—was my self-conceit less egregious and less readily duped than that of yon glided popinjay’s! How skilfully this woman had knitted me into her work with the noiseless turn of her white hands! and yet, forsooth, I must vaunt the superior scope of my intellect, and plumb all the fountains of Nature,—I, who could not fathom the little pool of this female schemer’s mind!
There was a pause during which my mind raced through memories and thoughts, leading me to a mix of admiration for Mrs. Poyntz as a diplomat and distrust for her as a friend. It became clear why Mrs. Poyntz, who had been so against my love, urged me to propose to Lilian right away so that she could leave engaged to the house where she would meet Mr. Ashleigh Sumner. This explained her eagerness to gather all the details I could share about what was happening at Lady Haughton’s; it also explained the sudden public announcement of my engagement. After Mr. Sumner left as a rejected suitor, she chose that moment to leave L——; she had taken advantage of the opportunity when a vain and proud man, stung by rejection from one woman, is more easily swayed towards another. All of this made sense to me. And I—was my self-importance really any less ridiculous or less easily fooled than that of that arrogant peacock? How skillfully this woman had woven me into her plans with the quiet movements of her delicate hands! And yet, here I was, bragging about my superior intellect and my ability to explore the depths of nature—I, who couldn’t even understand the shallow waters of this female schemer’s mind!
But that was no time for resentment to her or rebuke to myself. She was now the woman who could best protect and save from slander my innocent, beloved Lilian. But how approach that perplexing subject?
But that wasn’t the time for me to feel resentful towards her or to criticize myself. She was now the woman who could best protect and save my innocent, beloved Lilian from slander. But how do I approach that complicated topic?
Mrs. Poyntz approached it, and with her usual decision of purpose, which bore so deceitful a likeness to candour of mind.
Mrs. Poyntz approached it, and with her usual determination, which looked so deceptively like honesty.
“But it was not to talk of my affairs that I asked you to call, Allen Fenwick.” As she uttered my name, her voice softened, and her manner took that maternal, caressing tenderness which had sometimes amused and sometimes misled me. “No, I do not forget that you asked me to be your friend, and I take without scruple the license of friendship. What are these stories that I have heard already about Lilian Ashleigh, to whom you were once engaged?”
“But I didn’t ask you to come over to discuss my life, Allen Fenwick.” As she said my name, her voice became gentler, and her demeanor took on that nurturing, soothing quality that had both amused and confused me at times. “No, I haven’t forgotten that you wanted me to be your friend, and I freely take the liberty of friendship. What’s this I’ve been hearing about Lilian Ashleigh, whom you were once engaged to?”
“To whom I am still engaged.”
“To whom I am still engaged.”
“Is it possible? Oh, then, of course the stories I have heard are all false. Very likely; no fiction in scandal ever surprises me. Poor dear Lilian, then, never ran away from her mother’s house?”
“Is it possible? Oh, then, of course the stories I’ve heard are all false. Most likely; no fiction in gossip ever surprises me. Poor dear Lilian, then, never ran away from her mom’s house?”
I smothered the angry pain which this mode of questioning caused me; I knew how important it was to Lilian to secure to her the countenance and support of this absolute autocrat; I spoke of Lilian’s long previous distemper of mind; I accounted for it as any intelligent physician, unacquainted with all that I could not reveal, would account. Heaven forgive me for the venial falsehood, but I spoke of the terrible charge against myself as enough to unhinge for a time the intellect of a girl so acutely sensitive as Lilian; I sought to create that impression as to the origin of all that might otherwise seem strange; and in this state of cerebral excitement she had wandered from home—but alone. I had tracked every step of her way; I had found and restored her to her home. A critical delirium had followed, from which she now rose, cured in health, unsuspicious that there could be a whisper against her name. And then, with all the eloquence I could command, and in words as adapted as I could frame them to soften the heart of a woman, herself a mother, I implored Mrs. Poyntz’s aid to silence all the cruelties of calumny, and extend her shield over the child of her own early friend.
I pushed aside the intense pain that this kind of questioning caused me; I understood how crucial it was for Lilian to have the support and approval of this complete authority figure. I talked about Lilian’s long-standing mental struggles; I explained it like any knowledgeable doctor, who couldn’t know everything I couldn't share, would explain. Forgive me for the small untruth, but I mentioned the heavy burden against me as enough to disturb the mind of someone as sensitive as Lilian; I wanted to create that impression about the cause of everything that might otherwise seem odd; and in that state of mental turmoil, she had left home—but by herself. I had followed her every step; I had found her and brought her back home. A serious delirium had set in, from which she was now recovering, restored in health, unaware that there could ever be a rumor against her. Then, with all the persuasive words I could muster, and in a way that would resonate with a woman who was also a mother, I begged Mrs. Poyntz for her help to silence the cruel gossip and protect the child of her own early friend.
When I came to an end, I had taken, with caressing force, Mrs. Poyntz’s reluctant hands in mine. There were tears in my voice, tears in my eyes. And the sound of her voice in reply gave me hope, for it was unusually gentle. She was evidently moved. The hope was soon quelled.
When I finished, I had taken Mrs. Poyntz’s reluctant hands in mine with a tender grip. There were tears in my voice, tears in my eyes. The sound of her voice in response gave me hope, as it was unusually gentle. She was clearly affected. That hope was quickly extinguished.
“Allen Fenwick,” she said, “you have a noble heart; I grieve to see how it abuses your reason. I cannot aid Lilian Ashleigh in the way you ask. Do not start back so indignantly. Listen to me as patiently as I have listened to you. That when you brought back the unfortunate young woman to her poor mother, her mind was disordered, and became yet more dangerously so, I can well believe; that she is now recovered, and thinks with shame, or refuses to think at all, of her imprudent flight, I can believe also; but I do not believe, the World cannot believe, that she did not, knowingly and purposely, quit her mother’s roof, and in quest of that young stranger so incautiously, so unfeelingly admitted to her mother’s house during the very time you were detained on the most awful of human accusations. Every one in the town knows that Mr. Margrave visited daily at Mrs. Ashleigh’s during that painful period; every one in the town knows in what strange out-of-the-way place this young man had niched himself; and that a yacht was bought, and lying in wait there. What for? It is said that the chaise in which you brought Miss Ashleigh back to her home was hired in a village within an easy reach of Mr. Margrave’s lodging—of Mr. Margrave’s yacht. I rejoice that you saved the poor girl from ruin; but her good name is tarnished; and if Anne Ashleigh, whom I sincerely pity, asks me my advice, I can but give her this: ‘Leave L——, take your daughter abroad; and if she is not to marry Mr. Margrave, marry her as quietly and as quickly as possible to some foreigner.’”
“Allen Fenwick,” she said, “you have a kind heart; I’m sorry to see how it clouds your judgment. I can’t help Lilian Ashleigh the way you want. Don’t react so angrily. Please listen to me as patiently as I’ve listened to you. I can believe that when you brought the poor young woman back to her mother, her mind was disturbed, and it became even more seriously so; that she is now recovered and feels ashamed, or refuses to think at all, about her reckless escape, I can believe too; but I don’t believe, and neither does the world, that she didn’t knowingly and deliberately leave her mother’s home to seek out that young man who was so thoughtlessly and insensitively welcomed into her mother’s house while you were falsely accused of the most terrible crime. Everyone in town knows that Mr. Margrave visited Mrs. Ashleigh daily during that difficult time; everyone knows where this young man had hidden himself; and that a yacht was bought and waiting there. For what purpose? It’s said that the carriage you took to bring Miss Ashleigh back home was hired in a village not far from Mr. Margrave’s place—right near Mr. Margrave’s yacht. I’m glad you saved the poor girl from disaster; but her reputation is damaged; and if Anne Ashleigh, whom I truly feel sorry for, asks for my advice, I can only tell her this: ‘Leave L——, take your daughter abroad; and if she’s not going to marry Mr. Margrave, arrange for her to marry some foreigner as quietly and quickly as possible.’”
“Madam! madam! this, then, is your friendship to her—to me! Oh, shame on you to insult thus an affianced husband! Shame on me ever to have thought you had a heart!”
“Ma'am! Ma'am! So this is how you show your friendship to her—to me! Oh, how shameful to disrespect an engaged man like this! How shameful for me to have ever thought you had a heart!”
“A heart, man!” she exclaimed, almost fiercely, springing up, and startling me with the change in her countenance and voice. “And little you would have valued, and pitilessly have crushed this heart, if I had suffered myself to show it to you! What right have you to reproach me? I felt a warm interest in your career, an unusual attraction in your conversation and society. Do you blame me for that, or should I blame myself? Condemned to live amongst brainless puppets, my dull occupation to pull the strings that moved them, it was a new charm to my life to establish friendship and intercourse with intellect and spirit and courage. Ah! I understand that look, half incredulous, half inquisitive.”
“A heart, really!” she exclaimed, almost angrily, jumping up and startling me with the change in her expression and tone. “And you would have valued it so little that you would have crushed it without hesitation if I had let you see it! What right do you have to blame me? I genuinely cared about your journey and was drawn to your conversation and company. Do you fault me for that, or should I blame myself? Stuck living among mindless puppets, my boring job just pulling the strings to make them move, it was refreshing for me to build a friendship and connect with someone who had intelligence, spirit, and courage. Ah! I get that look, part disbelief, part curiosity.”
“Inquisitive, no; incredulous, yes! You desired my friendship, and how does your harsh judgment of my betrothed wife prove either to me or to her mother, whom you have known from your girlhood, the first duty of a friend,—which is surely not that of leaving a friend’s side the moment that he needs countenance in calumny, succour in trouble!”
“Inquisitive, no; incredulous, yes! You wanted my friendship, and how does your harsh judgment of my fiancée prove anything to me or to her mother, whom you've known since you were a girl? The first duty of a friend is definitely not to walk away from their side when they need support against slander and help in tough times!”
“It is a better duty to prevent the calumny and avert the trouble. Leave aside Anne Ashleigh, a cipher that I can add or abstract from my sum of life as I please. What is my duty to yourself? It is plain. It is to tell you that your honour commands you to abandon all thoughts of Lilian Ashleigh as your wife. Ungrateful that you are! Do you suppose it was no mortification to my pride of woman and friend, that you never approached me in confidence except to ask my good offices in promoting your courtship to another; no shock to the quiet plans I had formed as to our familiar though harmless intimacy, to hear that you were bent on a marriage in which my friend would be lost to me?”
“It’s a better responsibility to prevent the gossip and avoid the trouble. Forget about Anne Ashleigh; she’s just someone I can add or remove from my life as I choose. What’s my duty to you? It’s clear. It’s to tell you that your honor demands you to give up any thoughts of Lilian Ashleigh as your wife. How ungrateful you are! Do you think it didn’t hurt my pride as a woman and a friend that you only came to me to ask for help in pursuing your interest in someone else? Was it not a shock to the quiet plans I had made for our friendly, yet innocent, relationship to learn that you were set on a marriage that would mean losing my friend?”
“Not lost! not lost! On the contrary, the regard I must suppose you had for Lilian would have been a new link between our homes.”
“Not lost! Not lost! On the contrary, the affection I assume you felt for Lilian would have created a new connection between our families.”
“Pooh! Between me and that dreamy girl there could have been no sympathy, there could have grown up no regard. You would have been chained to your fireside, and—and—but no matter. I stifled my disappointment as soon as I felt it,—stifled it, as all my life I have stifled that which either destiny or duty—duty to myself as to others—forbids me to indulge. Ah, do not fancy me one of the weak criminals who can suffer a worthy liking to grow into a debasing love! I was not in love with you, Allen Fenwick.”
“Ugh! There was no way I could have felt any connection to that dreamy girl; there could have been no feelings at all. You would have been stuck at home, and—and—but it doesn’t matter. I pushed my disappointment down as soon as I felt it—pushed it down, just like I’ve done my whole life with whatever destiny or duty—duty to myself and to others—stops me from indulging. Ah, don’t think of me as some weak person who lets a genuine affection turn into something degrading! I was not in love with you, Allen Fenwick.”
“Do you think I was ever so presumptuous a coxcomb as to fancy it?”
“Do you really think I was ever that arrogant and foolish to believe it?”
“No,” she said, more softly; “I was not so false to my household ties and to my own nature. But there are some friendships which are as jealous as love. I could have cheerfully aided you in any choice which my sense could have approved for you as wise; I should have been pleased to have found in such a wife my most intimate companion. But that silly child!—absurd! Nevertheless, the freshness and enthusiasm of your love touched me; you asked my aid, and I gave it. Perhaps I did believe that when you saw more of Lilian Ashleigh you would be cured of a fancy conceived by the eye—I should have known better what dupes the wisest men can be to the witcheries of a fair face and eighteen! When I found your illusion obstinate, I wrenched myself away from a vain regret, turned to my own schemes and my own ambition, and smiled bitterly to think that, in pressing you to propose so hastily to Lilian, I made your blind passion an agent in my own plans. Enough of this. I speak thus openly and boldly to you now, because now I have not a sentiment that can interfere with the dispassionate soundness of my counsels. I repeat, you cannot now marry Lilian Ashleigh; I cannot take my daughter to visit her; I cannot destroy the social laws that I myself have set in my petty kingdom.”
“No,” she said softly, “I wasn’t so untrue to my family ties and to who I am. But some friendships can be just as possessive as love. I would have gladly supported any decision you made that I thought was wise; I would have loved to find my closest companion in such a wife. But that silly girl!—it’s ridiculous! Still, the excitement and passion of your love moved me; you asked for my help, and I gave it. Maybe I thought that once you got to know Lilian Ashleigh better, you’d be over this crush that started with just a glance—I should have known how easily even the smartest men can be fooled by the charm of a pretty face and eighteen years! When I saw your stubborn illusion, I pulled myself away from pointless regret, focused on my own plans and ambitions, and bitterly smiled at the thought that by pushing you to propose so quickly to Lilian, I used your blind passion to further my own goals. Enough of this. I’m speaking so honestly and frankly to you now because I no longer have any feelings that could cloud my judgment. I repeat, you cannot marry Lilian Ashleigh; I cannot take my daughter to visit her; I cannot break the social rules that I have established in my little realm.”
“Be it as you will. I have pleaded for her while she is still Lilian Ashleigh. I plead for no one to whom I have once given my name. Before the woman whom I have taken from the altar, I can place, as a shield sufficient, my strong breast of man. Who has so deep an interest in Lilian’s purity as I have? Who is so fitted to know the exact truth of every whisper against her? Yet when I, whom you admit to have some reputation for shrewd intelligence,—I, who tracked her way,—I, who restored her to her home,—when I, Allen Fenwick, am so assured of her inviolable innocence in thought as in deed, that I trust my honour to her keeping,—surely, surely, I confute the scandal which you yourself do not believe, though you refuse to reject and to annul it?”
“Do what you will. I have defended her while she is still Lilian Ashleigh. I don’t defend anyone to whom I’ve once given my name. Before the woman I took from the altar, I can place my strong body as a shield. Who cares about Lilian’s purity as much as I do? Who is better suited to know the truth behind every rumor about her? Yet when I, who you admit has a reputation for being sharp-minded—I, who traced her steps—I, who brought her back home—when I, Allen Fenwick, am so confident in her complete innocence in both thought and action that I trust my honor to her, surely, surely, I disprove the gossip that you don’t even believe, even though you refuse to dismiss it?”
“Do not deceive yourself, Allen Fenwick,” said she, still standing beside me, her countenance now hard and stern. “Look where I stand, I am the World! The World, not as satirists depreciate, or as optimists extol its immutable properties, its all-persuasive authority. I am the World! And my voice is the World’s voice when it thus warns you. Should you make this marriage, your dignity of character and position would be gone! If you look only to lucre and professional success, possibly they may not ultimately suffer. You have skill, which men need; their need may still draw patients to your door and pour guineas into your purse. But you have the pride, as well as the birth of a gentleman, and the wounds to that pride will be hourly chafed and never healed. Your strong breast of man has no shelter to the frail name of woman. The World, in its health, will look down on your wife, though its sick may look up to you. This is not all. The World, in its gentlest mood of indulgence, will say compassionately, ‘Poor man! how weak, and how deceived! What an unfortunate marriage!’ But the World is not often indulgent,—it looks most to the motives most seen on the surface. And the World will more frequently say, ‘No; much too clever a man to be duped! Miss Ashleigh had money. A good match to the man who liked gold better than honour.’”
“Don’t fool yourself, Allen Fenwick,” she said, still standing next to me, her expression now hard and stern. “Look where I stand, I am the World! The World, not as critics belittle it, or as optimists praise its unchanging qualities, its all-powerful authority. I am the World! And my voice is the World’s voice when it warns you like this. If you go through with this marriage, your dignity of character and status will be lost! If you only care about wealth and professional success, they might not ultimately suffer. You have skills that people need; their need may still bring patients to your door and fill your wallet. But you have the pride and the background of a gentleman, and that pride will be constantly hurt and never healed. Your strong male heart offers no protection to the delicate name of woman. The World, in its healthy state, will look down on your wife, although its sick may look up to you. This isn’t all. The World, in its most forgiving mood, will say compassionately, ‘Poor man! How weak and deceived! What an unfortunate marriage!’ But the World isn’t often forgiving—it mostly judges based on what’s visible on the surface. And the World will more often say, ‘No; far too clever a man to be tricked! Miss Ashleigh had money. A good match for the man who values wealth more than honor.’”
I sprang to my feet, with difficulty suppressing my rage; and, remembering it was a woman who spoke to me, “Farewell, madam,” said I, through my grinded teeth. “Were you, indeed, the Personation of The World, whose mean notions you mouth so calmly, I could not disdain you more.” I turned to the door, and left her still standing erect and menacing, the hard sneer on her resolute lip, the red glitter in her remorseless eye.
I jumped to my feet, barely holding back my anger; and, remembering it was a woman who spoke to me, “Goodbye, ma’am,” I said through clenched teeth. “If you really are the embodiment of the world, whose petty ideas you express so casually, I couldn't look down on you any more.” I turned to the door and left her still standing there, threatening, with a hard sneer on her determined lips and a cruel glint in her relentless eyes.
CHAPTER LVIII.
If ever my heart vowed itself to Lilian, the vow was now the most trustful and the most sacred. I had relinquished our engagement before; but then her affection seemed, no matter from what cause; so estranged from me, that though I might be miserable to lose her, I deemed that she would be unhappy in our union. Then, too, she was the gem and darling of the little world in which she lived; no whisper assailed her: now I knew that she loved me; I knew that her estrangement had been involuntary; I knew that appearances wronged her, and that they never could be explained. I was in the true position of man to woman: I was the shield, the bulwark, the fearless confiding protector! Resign her now because the world babbled, because my career might be impeded, because my good name might be impeached,—resign her, and, in that resignation, confirm all that was said against her! Could I do so, I should be the most craven of gentlemen, the meanest of men!
If my heart ever committed itself to Lilian, that commitment was now the most genuine and sacred. I had given up our engagement before, but at that time, her feelings seemed so distant from me for whatever reason that, although I would be heartbroken to lose her, I believed she would be unhappy in our relationship. Besides, she was the star and sweetheart of her small world; no one spoke ill of her. Now, I knew she loved me; I understood that her distance was unintentional; I realized that appearances were misleading, and that they could never be clarified. I was truly in the role of man to woman: I was the protector, the steadfast barrier, the brave and trusting guardian! To give her up now just because people were gossiping, because my career might be affected, or because my reputation could suffer—giving her up would just validate all the negative things said about her! If I did that, I would be the most cowardly of gentlemen, the most despicable of men!
I went to Mrs. Ashleigh, and entreated her to hasten my union with her daughter, and fix the marriage-day.
I went to Mrs. Ashleigh and asked her to speed up my marriage to her daughter and set a date for the wedding.
I found the poor lady dejected and distressed. She was now sufficiently relieved from the absorbing anxiety for Lilian to be aware of the change on the face of that World which the woman I had just quitted personified and concentred; she had learned the cause from the bloodless lips of Miss Brabazon.
I found the poor woman feeling down and upset. She was now more relieved from the intense worry for Lilian, enough to notice the change in the world that the woman I had just left represented and embodied; she had understood the reason from the pale lips of Miss Brabazon.
“My child! my poor child!” murmured the mother. “And she so guileless,—so sensitive! Could she know what is said, it would kill her. She would never marry you, Allen,—she would never bring shame to you!”
“My child! my poor child!” whispered the mother. “And she so innocent,—so sensitive! If she knew what was being said, it would break her. She would never marry you, Allen,—she would never bring shame to you!”
“She never need learn the barbarous calumny. Give her to me, and at once; patients, fortune, fame, are not found only at L——. Give her to me at once. But let me name a condition: I have a patrimonial independence, I have amassed large savings, I have my profession and my repute. I cannot touch her fortune—I cannot,—never can! Take it while you live; when you die, leave it to accumulate for her children, if children she have; not to me; not to her—unless I am dead or ruined!”
“She doesn’t need to learn about the cruel gossip. Just give her to me, right now; luck, success, and recognition aren’t exclusive to L——. Hand her over to me immediately. But I have one condition: I have financial independence, I’ve saved up a lot, and I’m established in my career with a good reputation. I can’t touch her money—I can’t, and I never will! Keep it for yourself as long as you live; when you pass away, let it grow for her children, if she has any; not for me; not for her—unless I’m dead or broke!”
“Oh, Allen, what a heart! what a heart! No, not heart, Allen,—that bird in its cage has a heart: soul—what a soul!”
“Oh, Allen, what a heart! What a heart! No, not just a heart, Allen— that bird in its cage has a heart: soul—what a soul!”
CHAPTER LIX.
How innocent was Lilian’s virgin blush when I knelt to her, and prayed that she would forestall the date that had been fixed for our union, and be my bride before the breath of the autumn had withered the pomp of the woodland and silenced the song of the birds! Meanwhile, I was so fearfully anxious that she should risk no danger of hearing, even of surmising, the cruel slander against her—should meet no cold contemptuous looks, above all, should be safe from the barbed talk of Mrs. Poyntz—that I insisted on the necessity of immediate change of air and scene. I proposed that we should all three depart, the next day, for the banks of my own beloved and native Windermere. By that pure mountain air, Lilian’s health would be soon re-established; in the church hallowed to me by the graves of my fathers our vows should be plighted. No calumny had ever cast a shadow over those graves. I felt as if my bride would be safer in the neighbourhood of my mother’s tomb.
How innocent was Lilian’s virgin blush when I knelt before her and prayed that she would postpone the date set for our wedding and become my bride before the autumn air wilted the beauty of the woods and silenced the birds' songs! Meanwhile, I was so incredibly anxious that she should not risk hearing, or even suspecting, the cruel gossip about her—should face no cold, disdainful looks, and above all, should be safe from the sharp comments of Mrs. Poyntz—that I insisted we needed to change our surroundings immediately. I suggested that the three of us leave the next day for the shores of my beloved and home of Windermere. With that pure mountain air, Lilian’s health would soon improve; in the church that holds the graves of my ancestors, we would exchange our vows. No slander had ever darkened those graves. I felt that my bride would be safer near my mother’s grave.
I carried my point: it was so arranged. Mrs. Ashleigh, however, was reluctant to leave before she had seen her dear friend, Margaret Poyntz. I had not the courage to tell her what she might expect to hear from that dear friend, but, as delicately as I could, I informed her that I had already seen the Queen of the Hill, and contradicted the gossip that had reached her; but that as yet, like other absolute sovereigns, the Queen of the Hill thought it politic to go with the popular stream, reserving all check on its direction till the rush of its torrent might slacken; and that it would be infinitely wiser in Mrs. Ashleigh to postpone conversation with Mrs. Poyntz until Lilian’s return to L—— as my wife. Slander by that time would have wearied itself out, and Mrs. Poyntz (assuming her friendship to Mrs. Ashleigh to be sincere) would then be enabled to say with authority to her subjects, “Dr. Fenwick alone knows the facts of the story, and his marriage with Miss Ashleigh refutes all the gossip to her prejudice.”
I made my case, and it was settled. However, Mrs. Ashleigh was hesitant to leave before seeing her dear friend, Margaret Poyntz. I didn’t have the heart to tell her what she might hear from that friend, but as gently as I could, I let her know that I had already met the Queen of the Hill and cleared up the rumors she had heard; however, like other absolute rulers, the Queen of the Hill found it wise to go along with public opinion for now, holding back any control over its direction until the tide started to calm. It would be much wiser for Mrs. Ashleigh to wait until Lilian returned to L—— as my wife before talking to Mrs. Poyntz. By then, the rumors would have run their course, and Mrs. Poyntz (assuming her friendship with Mrs. Ashleigh was genuine) would be able to confidently tell her circle, “Dr. Fenwick alone knows the true story, and his marriage to Miss Ashleigh disproves all the gossip against her.”
I made that evening arrangements with a young and rising practitioner to secure attendance on my patients during my absence. I passed the greater part of the night in drawing up memoranda to guide my proxy in each case, however humble the sufferer. This task finished, I chanced, in searching for a small microscope, the wonders of which I thought might interest and amuse Lilian, to open a drawer in which I kept the manuscript of my cherished Physiological Work, and, in so doing, my eye fell upon the wand which I had taken from Margrave. I had thrown it into that drawer on my return home, after restoring Lilian to her mother’s house, and, in the anxiety which had subsequently preyed upon my mind, had almost forgotten the strange possession I had as strangely acquired. There it now lay, the instrument of agencies over the mechanism of nature which no doctrine admitted by my philosophy could accept, side by side with the presumptuous work which had analyzed the springs by which Nature is moved, and decided the principles by which reason metes out, from the inch of its knowledge, the plan of the Infinite Unknown.
I made arrangements that evening with a young and upcoming doctor to take care of my patients while I was away. I spent most of the night writing notes to guide my stand-in for each case, no matter how simple the patient. Once I finished that task, while looking for a small microscope that I thought might interest and entertain Lilian, I opened a drawer where I kept the manuscript of my treasured Physiological Work. In doing so, my eyes fell on the wand I had taken from Margrave. I had tossed it into that drawer when I got home after bringing Lilian back to her mother's house, and in the anxiety that had consumed me since then, I had almost forgotten about the strange object I had so oddly acquired. There it lay, the tool of forces controlling the workings of nature that no accepted doctrine in my philosophy could acknowledge, sitting next to the ambitious work that analyzed the mechanisms driving Nature and determined the principles by which reason measures out, from the limited understanding it has, the blueprint of the Infinite Unknown.
I took up the wand and examined it curiously. It was evidently the work of an age far remote from our own, scored over with half-obliterated characters in some Eastern tongue, perhaps no longer extant. I found that it was hollow within. A more accurate observation showed, in the centre of this hollow, an exceedingly fine thread-like wire, the unattached end of which would slightly touch the palm when the wand was taken into the hand. Was it possible that there might be a natural and even a simple cause for the effects which this instrument produced? Could it serve to collect, from that great focus of animal heat and nervous energy which is placed in the palm of the human hand, some such latent fluid as that which Reichenbach calls the “odic,” and which, according to him, “rushes through and pervades universal Nature”? After all, why not? For how many centuries lay unknown all the virtues of the loadstone and the amber? It is but as yesterday that the forces of vapour have become to men genii more powerful than those conjured up by Aladdin; that light, at a touch, springs forth from invisible air; that thought finds a messenger swifter than the wings of the fabled Afrite. As, thus musing, my hand closed over the wand, I felt a wild thrill through my frame. I recoiled; I was alarmed lest (according to the plain common-sense theory of Julius Faber) I might be preparing my imagination to form and to credit its own illusions. Hastily I laid down the wand. But then it occurred to me that whatever its properties, it had so served the purposes of the dread Fascinator from whom it had been taken, that he might probably seek to repossess himself of it; he might contrive to enter my house in my absence; more prudent to guard in my own watchful keeping the incomprehensible instrument of incomprehensible arts. I resolved, therefore, to take the wand with me, and placed it in my travelling-trunk, with such effects as I selected for use in the excursion that was to commence with the morrow. I now lay down to rest, but I could not sleep. The recollections of the painful interview with Mrs. Poyntz became vivid and haunting. It was clear that the sentiment she had conceived for me was that of no simple friendship,—something more or something less, but certainly something else; and this conviction brought before me that proud hard face, disturbed by a pang wrestled against but not subdued, and that clear metallic voice, troubled by the quiver of an emotion which, perhaps, she had never analyzed to herself. I did not need her own assurance to know that this sentiment was not to be confounded with a love which she would have despised as a weakness and repelled as a crime; it was an inclination of the intellect, not a passion of the heart. But still it admitted a jealousy little less keen than that which has love for its cause,—so true it is that jealousy is never absent where self-love is always present. Certainly, it was no susceptibility of sober friendship which had made the stern arbitress of a coterie ascribe to her interest in me her pitiless judgment of Lilian. Strangely enough, with the image of this archetype of conventional usages and the trite social life, came that of the mysterious Margrave, surrounded by all the attributes with which superstition clothes the being of the shadowy border-land that lies beyond the chart of our visual world itself. By what link were creatures so dissimilar riveted together in the metaphysical chain of association? Both had entered into the record of my life when my life admitted its own first romance of love. Through the aid of this cynical schemer I had been made known to Lilian. At her house I had heard the dark story of that Louis Grayle, with whom, in mocking spite of my reason, conjectures, which that very reason must depose itself before it could resolve into distempered fancies, identified the enigmatical Margrave. And now both she, the representative of the formal world most opposed to visionary creeds, and he, who gathered round him all the terrors which haunt the realm of fable, stood united against me,—foes with whom the intellect I had so haughtily cultured knew not how to cope. Whatever assault I might expect from either, I was unable to assail again. Alike, then, in this, are the Slander and the Phantom,—that which appalls us most in their power over us is our impotence against them.
I picked up the wand and looked at it with curiosity. It clearly came from a time long before ours, marked with faded characters in an Eastern language, perhaps one that no longer exists. I discovered that it was hollow inside. A closer inspection revealed a very fine, thread-like wire in the center of this hollow section, the loose end of which would barely touch my palm when I held the wand. Could it be that there was a natural and even simple explanation for the effects this tool created? Could it collect something from the intense heat and nervous energy found in the palm of the human hand, like the latent energy Reichenbach described as "odic," which he claimed "flows through and fills all of nature"? After all, why not? For centuries, people knew nothing of the properties of lodestones and amber. Just recently, we’ve discovered that the forces of vapor are more powerful than the genies conjured by Aladdin; light can spring forth from invisible air with just a touch; thoughts can be communicated faster than the mythical wings of a genie. As I pondered, my hand closed around the wand, sending a wild thrill through me. I pulled back, worried that I might be setting myself up to imagine and believe in my own illusions, as Julius Faber suggested. Quickly, I set the wand down. But then it struck me that whatever its properties, the terrifying Fascinator who once owned it might try to reclaim it; he could find a way into my house when I wasn’t there. It would be wiser to keep the mysterious instrument of mysterious arts in my own careful possession. I decided to take the wand with me and packed it in my travel trunk along with the things I chose for my trip starting tomorrow. I lay down to rest, but I couldn’t sleep. Memories of the uncomfortable meeting with Mrs. Poyntz haunted me. It was clear that the feelings she had for me went beyond mere friendship—something more or something less, but definitely something different; and this realization brought to mind her proud, stern face, troubled by a struggle she fought against but couldn’t suppress, and her clear, metallic voice, shaken by an emotion she might not have fully understood. I didn’t need her to tell me that this feeling wasn’t confused with a love she would have seen as weak and rejected as immoral; it was an intellectual inclination, not a heartfelt passion. Yet, it stirred a jealousy almost as strong as that which love inspires—proof that where self-love exists, jealousy is never far behind. It certainly wasn’t just a matter of plain friendship that led the strict judge of a social group to interpret her interest in me as a harsh judgment of Lilian. Oddly enough, along with the image of this archetype of conventional standards and bland social life came the mysterious Margrave, surrounded by all the traits that superstition attributes to beings from the shadowy realm that lies beyond our visible world. How were such different creatures connected in this strange chain of association? Both had become part of my life when I first experienced the romance of love. Through this cynical schemer, I had been introduced to Lilian. At her house, I had heard the dark tale of Louis Grayle, with whom I, in a mocking twist of reason, connected the enigmatic Margrave with conjectures that required my very reason to surrender before they could turn into confused fantasies. Now both she, the embodiment of the formal world that opposed visionary beliefs, and he, who drew in all the fears that haunt the world of legend, stood united against me—enemies my intellect, which I had so arrogantly developed, didn’t know how to fight. No matter what attack I might anticipate from either of them, I found myself unable to fight back. In this way, Slander and Phantom are alike—what frightens us most about their power over us is our inability to combat them.
But up rose the sun, chasing the shadows from the earth, and brightening insensibly the thoughts of man. After all, Margrave had been baffled and defeated, whatever the arts he had practised and the secrets he possessed. It was, at least, doubtful whether his evil machinations would be renewed. He had seemed so incapable of long-sustained fixity of purpose, that it was probable he was already in pursuit of some new agent or victim; and as to this commonplace and conventional spectre, the so-called World, if it is everywhere to him whom it awes, it is nowhere to him who despises it. What was the good or bad word of a Mrs. Poyntz to me? Ay, but to Lilian? There, indeed, I trembled; but still, even in trembling, it was sweet to think that my home would be her shelter,—my choice her vindication. Ah! how unutterably tender and reverential Love becomes when it assumes the duties of the guardian, and hallows its own heart into a sanctuary of refuge for the beloved!
But up came the sun, chasing the shadows away and gradually brightening people's thoughts. After all, Margrave had been confused and defeated, no matter the tricks he had used or the secrets he held. It was, at least, uncertain whether his evil plans would resurface. He had seemed so unable to keep a consistent purpose that it was likely he was already looking for some new accomplice or target; and as for this ordinary and conventional specter, the so-called World, if it is everywhere to intimidate him, it is nowhere to him who looks down on it. What did the opinions of Mrs. Poyntz matter to me? But to Lilian? That’s where I truly worried; still, even in my worry, I found comfort in thinking that my home would be her safe haven—my choice her justification. Ah! how incredibly tender and reverent love becomes when it takes on the role of a guardian, turning its own heart into a sanctuary of refuge for the one it cherishes!
CHAPTER LX.
The beautiful lake! We two are on its grassy margin,—twilight melting into night; the stars stealing forth, one after one. What a wonderful change is made within us when we come from our callings amongst men, chafed, wearied, wounded; gnawed by our cares, perplexed by the doubts of our very wisdom, stung by the adder that dwells in cities,—Slander; nay, even if renowned, fatigued with the burden of the very names that we have won! What a change is made within us when suddenly we find ourselves transported into the calm solitudes of Nature,—into scenes familiar to our happy dreaming childhood; back, back from the dusty thoroughfares of our toil-worn manhood to the golden fountain of our youth! Blessed is the change, even when we have no companion beside us to whom the heart can whisper its sense of relief and joy. But if the one in whom all our future is garnered up be with us there, instead of that weary World which has so magically vanished away from the eye and the thought, then does the change make one of those rare epochs of life in which the charm is the stillness. In the pause from all by which our own turbulent struggles for happiness trouble existence, we feel with a rapt amazement how calm a thing it is to be happy. And so as the night, in deepening, brightened, Lilian and I wandered by the starry lake. Conscious of no evil in ourselves, how secure we felt from evil! A few days more—a few days more, and we two should be as one! And that thought we uttered in many forms of words, brooding over it in the long intervals of enamoured silence.
The beautiful lake! We are on its grassy edge, twilight fading into night; the stars appearing one by one. What a remarkable change happens inside us when we leave our hectic lives among people, feeling stressed, tired, and hurt; burdened by our worries, confused by our own wisdom, stung by the gossip that thrives in cities—Slander; and even if we’re famous, exhausted by the weight of the names we’ve earned! What a transformation occurs when we suddenly find ourselves transported into the peaceful solitude of nature, into familiar scenes from our joyful childhood dreams; back, back from the dusty paths of our tired adulthood to the golden wellspring of our youth! Blessed is this change, even when we're alone without anyone to share our sense of relief and joy. But if the person with whom all our future is tied is there with us—replacing the weary world that has magically disappeared from our sight and thoughts—then this change creates one of those rare moments in life where the beauty is in the stillness. In the break from everything that makes our struggles for happiness so tumultuous, we feel a deep amazement at how peaceful happiness can be. And so, as the night deepened, Lilian and I wandered by the starry lake. Without a sense of wrongdoing within us, we felt so safe from harm! Just a few days more—just a few days more, and we would be one! We expressed that thought in various ways, reflecting on it during the long moments of loving silence.
And when we turned back to the quiet inn at which we had taken up our abode, and her mother, with her soft face, advanced to meet us, I said to Lilian,—
And when we returned to the quiet inn where we were staying, her mother, with her gentle face, came up to greet us. I said to Lilian,—
“Would that in these scenes we could fix our home for life, away and afar from the dull town we have left behind us, with the fret of its wearying cares and the jar of its idle babble!”
“Wouldn’t it be great if we could make this place our home for good, far away from the boring town we’ve left behind, with its exhausting worries and annoying chatter!”
“And why not, Allen? Why not? But no, you would not be happy.”
“And why not, Allen? Why not? But no, you wouldn’t be happy.”
“Not be happy, and with you? Sceptic, by what reasoning do you arrive at that ungracious conclusion?”
“Not happy with you? Seriously, what reasoning led you to that ungracious conclusion?”
“The heart loves repose and the soul contemplation, but the mind needs action. Is it not so?”
“The heart loves rest and the soul reflects, but the mind craves action. Isn’t that right?”
“Where learned you that aphorism, out of place on such rosy lips?”
“Where did you learn that saying, which seems out of place coming from such sweet lips?”
“I learned it in studying you,” murmured Lilian, tenderly.
“I learned it by studying you,” Lilian said softly.
Here Mrs. Ashleigh joined us. For the first time I slept under the same roof as Lilian. And I forgot that the universe contained an enigma to solve or an enemy to fear.
Here Mrs. Ashleigh joined us. For the first time, I slept under the same roof as Lilian. And I forgot that the universe had any mysteries to figure out or threats to worry about.
CHAPTER LXI.
Twenty days—the happiest my life had ever known—thus glided on. Apart from the charm which love bestows on the beloved, there was that in Lilian’s conversation which made her a delightful companion. Whether it was that, in this pause from the toils of my career, my mind could more pliantly supple itself to her graceful imagination, or that her imagination was less vague and dreamy amidst those rural scenes, which realized in their loveliness and grandeur its long-conceived ideals, than it had been in the petty garden-ground neighboured by the stir and hubbub of the busy town,—in much that I had once slighted or contemned as the vagaries of undisciplined fancy, I now recognized the sparkle and play of an intuitive genius, lighting up many a depth obscure to instructed thought. It is with some characters as with the subtler and more ethereal order of poets,—to appreciate them we must suspend the course of artificial life; in the city we call them dreamers, on the mountain-top we find them interpreters.
Twenty days—the happiest I had ever experienced—passed by just like that. Aside from the magic that love brings to the one loved, Lilian’s conversation had a charm that made her an amazing companion. Whether it was that, during this break from my work, my mind could easily adapt to her graceful imagination, or that her imagination was clearer and less dreamy in those beautiful rural scenes, which brought to life her long-held ideals, compared to the small garden next to the noise and chaos of the busy town—I began to see in many things I had previously dismissed or looked down upon as the whims of an untamed imagination, the sparkle and play of a natural genius, illuminating many depths that educated thought couldn’t reach. Some characters are like the more delicate and ethereal poets— to truly appreciate them, we have to step away from our artificial lives; in the city, we label them as dreamers, but on the mountaintop, we see them as interpreters.
In Lilian, the sympathy with Nature was not, as in Margrave, from the joyous sense of Nature’s lavish vitality; it was refined into exquisite perception of the diviner spirit by which that vitality is informed. Thus, like the artist, from outward forms of beauty she drew forth the covert types, lending to things the most familiar exquisite meanings unconceived before. For it is truly said by a wise critic of old, that “the attribute of Art is to suggest infinitely more than it expresses;” and such suggestions, passing from the artist’s innermost thought into the mind that receives them, open on and on into the Infinite of Ideas, as a moonlit wave struck by a passing oar impels wave upon wave along one track of light.
In Lilian, her connection with nature wasn't like Margrave's joyful appreciation of nature's abundant life; it was refined into a deep understanding of the divine spirit that infuses that vitality. Like an artist, she took outwardly beautiful forms and revealed the hidden meanings within, giving familiar things new, exquisite interpretations that had never been thought of before. A wise critic from the past rightly said that “the attribute of Art is to suggest infinitely more than it expresses;” and these suggestions, flowing from the artist's deepest thoughts into the mind of the observer, open endlessly into a vast realm of ideas, just like a moonlit wave pushed by a passing oar sends wave after wave along a single path of light.
So the days glided by, and brought the eve of our bridal morn. It had been settled that, after the ceremony (which was to be performed by license in the village church, at no great distance, which adjoined my paternal home, now passed away to strangers), we should make a short excursion into Scotland, leaving Mrs. Ashleigh to await our return at the little inn.
So the days passed by, and brought the night before our wedding day. It had been decided that, after the ceremony (which was to be held by license in the village church, not far from my family home, now belonging to strangers), we would take a short trip to Scotland, leaving Mrs. Ashleigh to wait for us at the little inn.
I had retired to my own room to answer some letters from anxious patients, and having finished these I looked into my trunk for a Guide-Book to the North, which I had brought with me. My hand came upon Margrave’s wand, and remembering that strange thrill which had passed through me when I last handled it, I drew it forth, resolved to examine calmly if I could detect the cause of the sensation. It was not now the time of night in which the imagination is most liable to credulous impressions, nor was I now in the anxious and jaded state of mind in which such impressions may be the more readily conceived. The sun was slowly setting over the delicious landscape; the air cool and serene; my thoughts collected,—heart and conscience alike at peace. I took, then, the wand, and adjusted it to the palm of the hand as I had done before. I felt the slight touch of the delicate wire within, and again the thrill! I did not this time recoil; I continued to grasp the wand, and sought deliberately to analyze my own sensations in the contact. There came over me an increased consciousness of vital power; a certain exhilaration, elasticity, vigour, such as a strong cordial may produce on a fainting man. All the forces of my frame seemed refreshed, redoubled; and as such effects on the physical system are ordinarily accompanied by correspondent effects on the mind, so I was sensible of a proud elation of spirits,—a kind of defying, superb self-glorying. All fear seemed blotted out from my thought, as a weakness impossible to the grandeur and might which belong to Intellectual Man; I felt as if it were a royal delight to scorn Earth and its opinions, brave Hades and its spectres. Rapidly this new-born arrogance enlarged itself into desires vague but daring. My mind reverted to the wild phenomena associated with its memories of Margrave. I said half-aloud, “if a creature so beneath myself in constancy of will and completion of thought can wrest from Nature favours so marvellous, what could not be won from her by me, her patient persevering seeker? What if there be spirits around and about, invisible to the common eye, but whom we can submit to our control; and what if this rod be charged with some occult fluid, that runs through all creation, and can be so disciplined as to establish communication wherever life and thought can reach to beings that live and think? So would the mystics of old explain what perplexes me. Am I sure that the mystics of old duped them selves or their pupils? This, then, this slight wand, light as a reed in my grasp, this, then, was the instrument by which Margrave sent his irresistible will through air and space, and by which I smote himself, in the midst of his tiger-like wrath, into the helplessness of a sick man’s swoon! Can the instrument at this distance still control him; if now meditating evil, disarm and disable his purpose?” Involuntarily, as I revolved these ideas, I stretched forth the wand, with a concentred energy of desire that its influence should reach Margrave and command him. And since I knew not his whereabout, yet was vaguely aware that, according to any conceivable theory by which the wand could be supposed to carry its imagined virtues to definite goals in distant space, it should be pointed in the direction of the object it was intended to affect, so I slowly moved the wand as if describing a circle; and thus, in some point of the circle—east, west, north, or south—the direction could not fail to be true. Before I had performed half the circle, the wand of itself stopped, resisting palpably the movement of my hand to impel it onward. Had it, then, found the point to which my will was guiding it, obeying my will by some magnetic sympathy never yet comprehended by any recognized science? I know not; but I had not held it thus fixed for many seconds, before a cold air, well remembered, passed by me, stirring the roots of my hair; and, reflected against the opposite wall, stood the hateful Scin-Laeca. The Shadow was dimmer in its light than when before beheld, and the outline of the features was less distinct; still it was the unmistakable lemur, or image, of Margrave.
I had gone to my room to reply to some letters from worried patients. After finishing, I searched my trunk for a Guide-Book to the North that I had brought with me. My hand touched Margrave’s wand, and remembering the strange thrill I felt last time I held it, I took it out, determined to calmly figure out the reason for the sensation. It wasn’t late enough at night for my imagination to run wild, and I wasn't in a stressed or tired state of mind, which usually makes such feelings more likely. The sun was setting over the beautiful landscape; the air was cool and calm; my thoughts were gathered—my heart and conscience both at peace. I took the wand and held it in my palm as I had before. I felt the light touch of the delicate wire inside, and again the thrill! This time I didn’t pull back; I kept holding the wand and tried to analyze my feelings from the contact. I became more aware of my vital energy; a certain exhilaration, vitality, and vigor, like a strong drink reviving a fainting person. All the forces in my body felt refreshed and amplified; and because such physical effects usually come with similar effects on the mind, I felt a proud elation of spirit—a kind of defiant, magnificent self-glory. All fear disappeared from my thoughts, seen as a weakness beneath the greatness and power that belong to Intellectual Man; I felt it was a royal pleasure to dismiss Earth and its opinions, to bravely face Hades and its ghosts. This newfound arrogance quickly transformed into vague yet bold desires. My mind returned to the wild phenomena associated with my memories of Margrave. I said out loud, “If someone so lesser than me in willpower and thought can extract such marvelous favors from Nature, what could I achieve as her patient, persevering seeker? What if there are spirits around us, invisible to the ordinary eye, whom we could command; and what if this rod is charged with some hidden power that flows through all creation, able to establish communication wherever life and thought can reach beings that live and think? This is how the mystics of old would explain what puzzles me. Am I sure that the mystics of old deceived themselves or their students? This small wand, as light as a reed in my hand, is the very instrument by which Margrave projected his unstoppable will through air and space, and through which I struck him, amid his fierce anger, into the helplessness of a fainting man! Can this instrument still control him from this distance; if he is now plotting evil, can it disarm and disable his plans?” Involuntarily, as I pondered these ideas, I extended the wand with a concentrated desire for its influence to reach Margrave and command him. Since I didn't know where he was but vaguely understood that, according to any theory that suggested the wand could carry its presumed powers to specific targets in distant space, it should be pointed in the direction of what I intended to affect, I slowly moved the wand in a circular motion. Thus, at some point within the circle—east, west, north, or south—the direction could not be wrong. Before I had completed half the circle, the wand stopped on its own, noticeably resisting my hand's effort to push it further. Had it found the point my will was directing it to, responding to my will through some magnetic sympathy never before understood by any recognized science? I didn’t know; but I had hardly held it still for many seconds before a familiar cold air brushed past me, raising the roots of my hair; and there, reflected against the opposite wall, stood the hated Scin-Laeca. The Shadow was dimmer than I had seen before, and the outline of the features was less distinct; still, it was unmistakably the apparition of Margrave.
And a voice was conveyed to my senses, saying, as from a great distance, and in weary yet angry accents,
And a voice reached my ears, sounding as if it were coming from far away, with tired yet angry tones,
“You have summoned me? Wherefore?”
"You called me? Why?"
I overcame the startled shudder with which, at first, I beheld the Shadow and heard the Voice.
I got past the initial shock I felt when I first saw the Shadow and heard the Voice.
“I summoned you not,” said I; “I sought but to impose upon you my will, that you should persecute, with your ghastly influences, me and mine no more. And now, by whatever authority this wand bestows on me, I so abjure and command you!”
“I didn’t call for you,” I said; “I only wanted to force my will upon you, to make you stop haunting and tormenting me and my loved ones. And now, by whatever power this wand gives me, I command you to leave us alone!”
I thought there was a sneer of disdain on the lip through which the answer seemed to come,—
I thought I caught a sneer of contempt on the lips from which the answer seemed to come,—
“Vain and ignorant, it is but a shadow you command. My body you have cast into a sleep, and it knows not that the shadow is here; nor, when it wakes, will the brain be aware of one reminiscence of the words that you utter or the words that you hear.”
“Conceited and clueless, you're just controlling a shadow. You’ve put my body into a sleep, and it doesn’t know that the shadow is here; and when it wakes up, the mind won’t remember a single word you say or the words you hear.”
“What, then, is this shadow that simulates the body? Is it that which in popular language is called the soul?”
“What, then, is this shadow that mimics the body? Is it what people commonly refer to as the soul?”
“It is not: soul is no shadow.”
“It is not: the soul is not a shadow.”
“What then?”
“What now?”
“Ask not me. Use the wand to invoke Intelligences higher than mine.”
“Don’t ask me. Use the wand to call upon intelligences greater than mine.”
“And how?”
"And how?"
“I will tell you not. Of yourself you may learn, if you guide the wand by your own pride of will and desire; but in the hands of him who has learned not the art, the wand has its dangers. Again I say you have summoned me! Wherefore?”
“I won’t tell you. You can learn about yourself if you control the wand with your own pride and desire; but in the hands of someone who hasn’t mastered the skill, the wand can be dangerous. Once again, I say you’ve called me! Why?”
“Lying shade, I summoned thee not.”
“Shady place, I didn’t call for you.”
“So wouldst thou say to the demons, did they come in their terrible wrath, when the bungler, who knows not the springs that he moves, calls them up unawares, and can neither control nor dispel. Less revengeful than they, I leave thee unharmed, and depart.”
“Then you would tell the demons, if they showed up in their fierce rage, when the clumsy one, who doesn’t understand the forces he’s messing with, accidentally calls them forth and can’t control or send them away. I’m less vengeful than they are, so I leave you unharmed and take my leave.”
“Stay. If, as thou sayest, no command I address to thee—to thee, who art only the image or shadow—can have effect on the body and mind of the being whose likeness thou art, still thou canst tell me what passes now in his brain. Does it now harbour schemes against me through the woman I love? Answer truly.”
“Stay. If, as you say, no command I give you—to you, who are just an image or shadow—can affect the body and mind of the being you resemble, still you can tell me what is going on in his mind right now. Is he plotting against me through the woman I love? Answer honestly.”
“I reply for the sleeper, of whom I am more than a likeness, though only the shadow. His thought speaks thus: ‘I know, Allen Fenwick, that in thee is the agent I need for achieving the end that I seek. Through the woman thou lovest, I hope to subject thee. A grief that will harrow thy heart is at hand; when that grief shall befall, thou wilt welcome my coming. In me alone thy hope will be placed; through me alone wilt thou seek a path out of thy sorrow. I shall ask my conditions: they will make thee my tool and my slave!’”
“I reply for the sleeper, of whom I am more than just a resemblance, though only a shadow. His thoughts are this: ‘I know, Allen Fenwick, that you are the one I need to achieve my goal. Through the woman you love, I plan to control you. A grief that will torment your heart is coming; when that grief arrives, you will welcome my presence. Only in me will you find hope; through me alone will you seek a way out of your sorrow. I will set my terms: they will turn you into my tool and my slave!’”
The shadow waned,—it was gone. I did not seek to detain it, nor, had I sought, could I have known by what process. But a new idea now possessed me. This shadow, then, that had once so appalled and controlled me, was, by its own confession, nothing more than a shadow! It had spoken of higher Intelligences; from them I might learn what the Shadow could not reveal. As I still held the wand firmer and firmer in my grasp, my thoughts grew haughtier and bolder. Could the wand, then, bring those loftier beings thus darkly referred to before me? With that thought, intense and engrossing, I guided the wand towards the space, opening boundless and blue from the casement that let in the skies. The wand no longer resisted my hand.
The shadow faded—it was gone. I didn’t try to hold onto it, and even if I had, I wouldn’t have known how. But I was now filled with a new thought. This shadow, which had once terrified and controlled me, was, by its own admission, nothing more than a shadow! It had talked about higher Intelligences; from them, I could learn what the Shadow couldn’t reveal. As I gripped the wand tighter and tighter, my thoughts became prouder and more daring. Could the wand bring those higher beings, that had been mentioned so darkly, before me? With that intense and captivating thought, I aimed the wand toward the space, wide open and blue from the window that let in the sky. The wand no longer resisted my hand.
In a few moments I felt the floors of the room vibrate; the air was darkened; a vaporous, hazy cloud seemed to rise from the ground without the casement; an awe, infinitely more deep and solemn than that which the Scin-Laeca had caused in its earliest apparition, curdled through my veins, and stilled the very beat of my heart.
In a few moments, I felt the floors of the room shake; the air grew darker; a misty, hazy cloud seemed to rise from the ground without the window; a feeling of awe, much deeper and more serious than what the Scin-Laeca had caused during its first appearance, coursed through my veins and stopped my heart's very rhythm.
At that moment I heard, without, the voice of Lilian, singing a simple, sacred song which I had learned at my mother’s knees, and taught to her the day before: singing low, and as with a warning angel’s voice. By an irresistible impulse I dashed the wand to the ground, and bowed my head as I had bowed it when my infant mind comprehended, without an effort, mysteries more solemn than those which perplexed me now. Slowly I raised my eyes, and looked round; the vaporous, hazy cloud had passed away, or melted into the ambient rose-tints amidst which the sun had sunk.
At that moment, I heard Lilian’s voice outside, singing a simple, sacred song that I had learned from my mother and had taught her the day before. She sang softly, like a warning angel. Driven by an unstoppable urge, I dropped the wand to the ground and bowed my head, just as I did when I was a child, effortlessly grasping mysteries more profound than the ones that troubled me now. Slowly, I lifted my eyes and looked around; the misty, hazy cloud had disappeared or faded into the surrounding rose-tinted hues where the sun had set.
Then, by one of those common reactions from a period of overstrained excitement, there succeeded to that sentiment of arrogance and daring with which these wild, half-conscious invocations had been fostered and sustained, a profound humility, a warning fear.
Then, after one of those typical reactions from a time of intense excitement, there followed the feelings of arrogance and boldness that had been encouraged and upheld by these wild, half-conscious cries, a deep sense of humility and a cautionary fear.
“What!” said I, inly, “have all those sound resolutions, which my reason founded on the wise talk of Julius Faber, melted away in the wrack of haggard, dissolving fancies! Is this my boasted intellect, my vaunted science! I—I, Allen Fenwick, not only the credulous believer, but the blundering practitioner, of an evil magic! Grant what may be possible, however uncomprehended,—grant that in this accursed instrument of antique superstition there be some real powers—chemical, magnetic, no matter what—by which the imagination can be aroused, inflamed, deluded, so that it shapes the things I have seen, speaks in the tones I have heard,—grant this, shall I keep ever ready, at the caprice of will, a constant tempter to steal away my reason and fool my senses? Or if, on the other hand, I force my sense to admit what all sober men must reject; if I unschool myself to believe that in what I have just experienced there is no mental illusion; that sorcery is a fact, and a demon world has gates which open to a key that a mortal can forge,—who but a saint would not shrink from the practice of powers by which each passing thought of ill might find in a fiend its abettor? In either case—in any case—while I keep this direful relic of obsolete arts, I am haunted,—cheated out of my senses, unfitted for the uses of life. If, as my ear or my fancy informs me, grief—human grief—is about to befall me, shall I, in the sting of impatient sorrow, have recourse to an aid which, the same voice declares, will reduce me to a tool and a slave,—tool and slave to a being I dread as a foe? Out on these nightmares! and away with the thing that bewitches the brain to conceive them!”
“What!” I thought, “have all those firm resolutions, built on the wise words of Julius Faber, crumbled away in the chaos of my restless imagination? Is this what I proudly call my intellect, my supposed knowledge? I—I, Allen Fenwick, not just a gullible believer, but also a clueless practitioner of some dark magic! Grant that there might be some real forces—chemical, magnetic, whatever—within this cursed artifact of old superstitions that can stir the imagination, ignite it, mislead it, creating the visions I've seen and the voices I've heard—if this is true, should I really keep a constant temptation on hand that could drive me mad and fool my senses? Or if I force myself to accept what any rational person would reject; if I convince myself that what I just experienced is no mere illusion; that sorcery is real, and there are gateways to a demonic realm that a mortal can unlock—who wouldn’t be terrified of practicing powers that could turn every fleeting dark thought into a reality? Either way—in any scenario—while I hold on to this dreadful relic of forgotten arts, I’m haunted—robbed of my senses, unfit for life. If, as my mind or my imagination tells me, human grief is about to strike me, should I, in the sting of my anxious sorrow, rely on a force that, according to the same voice, will turn me into a mere tool and a slave—slave to a being I fear as an enemy? Enough with these nightmares! And get rid of the thing that entices my mind to imagine them!”
I rose; I took up the wand, holding it so that its hollow should not rest on the palm of the hand. I stole from the house by the back way, in order to avoid Lilian, whose voice I still heard, singing low, on the lawn in front. I came to a creek, to the bank of which a boat was moored, undid its chain, rowed on to a deep part of the lake, and dropped the wand into its waves. It sank at once; scarcely a ripple furrowed the surface, not a bubble arose from the deep. And, as the boat glided on, the star mirrored itself on the spot where the placid waters had closed over the tempter to evil.
I got up; I grabbed the wand, making sure its hollow part wasn't resting on my palm. I slipped out of the house through the back to avoid Lilian, whose voice I could still hear softly singing on the lawn in front. I reached a creek, where a boat was tied up, unfastened its chain, rowed out to a deeper part of the lake, and dropped the wand into the waves. It sank immediately; barely a ripple disturbed the surface, and no bubbles rose from the depths. As the boat floated on, the star reflected on the spot where the smooth water had covered the source of temptation.
Light at heart, I sprang again on the shore, and hastening to Lilian, where she stood on the silvered, shining sward, clasped her to my breast.
Lighthearted, I jumped onto the shore once more and rushed over to Lilian, where she stood on the sparkling, shining grass, and pulled her close to me.
“Spirit of my life!” I murmured, “no enchantments for me but thine! Thine are the spells by which creation is beautified, and, in that beauty, hallowed. What though we can see not into the measureless future from the verge of the moment; what though sorrow may smite us while we are dreaming of bliss, let the future not rob me of thee, and a balm will be found for each wound! Love me ever as now, oh, my Lilian; troth to troth, side by side, till the grave!”
“Spirit of my life!” I whispered, “I need no magic but yours! Yours are the charms that make creation beautiful, and in that beauty, sacred. Even if we can’t see the endless future from this moment; even if sadness strikes us while we’re dreaming of happiness, let the future not take you away from me, and a remedy will be found for every hurt! Love me always as you do now, oh, my Lilian; promises intertwined, side by side, until the grave!”
“And beyond the grave,” answered Lilian, softly.
“And beyond the grave,” Lilian replied softly.
CHAPTER LXII.
Our vows are exchanged at the altar, the rite which made Lilian my wife is performed; we are returned from the church amongst the hills, in which my fathers had worshipped; the joy-bells that had pealed for my birth had rung for my marriage. Lilian has gone to her room to prepare for our bridal excursion; while the carriage we have hired is waiting at the door. I am detaining her mother on the lawn, seeking to cheer and compose her spirits, painfully affected by that sense of change in the relations of child and parent which makes itself suddenly felt by the parent’s heart on the day that secures to the child another heart on which to lean.
Our vows are exchanged at the altar, and the ceremony that made Lilian my wife is complete. We return from the church among the hills where my ancestors worshipped. The joyful bells that rang for my birth have now chimed for my marriage. Lilian has gone to her room to get ready for our honeymoon, while the carriage we rented is waiting at the door. I'm keeping her mother on the lawn, trying to comfort and soothe her feelings, which are deeply affected by the shift in the parent-child relationship that suddenly hits a parent’s heart on the day their child commits to another partner.
But Mrs. Ashleigh’s was one of those gentle womanly natures which, if easily afflicted, are easily consoled. And, already smiling through her tears, she was about to quit me and join her daughter, when one of the inn-servants came to me with some letters, which had just been delivered by the postman. As I took them from the servant, Mrs. Ashleigh asked if there were any for her. She expected one from her housekeeper at L——, who had been taken ill in her absence, and about whom the kind mistress felt anxious. The servant replied that there was no letter for her, but one directed to Miss Ashleigh, which he had just sent up to the young lady.
But Mrs. Ashleigh had one of those gentle, nurturing personalities that, while easily upset, can also be quickly comforted. While already smiling through her tears, she was about to leave me and go to her daughter when one of the inn staff approached with some letters that had just been delivered by the mailman. As I took the letters from the staff member, Mrs. Ashleigh asked if there were any for her. She was waiting for a letter from her housekeeper at L——, who had fallen ill during her absence, and the caring mistress was worried about her. The staff member replied that there was no letter for her but that one addressed to Miss Ashleigh had just been taken up to the young lady.
Mrs. Ashleigh did not doubt that her housekeeper had written to Lilian, whom she had known from the cradle and to whom she was tenderly attached, instead of to her mistress; and, saying something to me to that effect, quickened her steps towards the house.
Mrs. Ashleigh was sure that her housekeeper had written to Lilian, whom she had known since she was born and to whom she was very attached, instead of reaching out to her. She mentioned this to me and hurried toward the house.
I was glancing over my own letters, chiefly from patients, with a rapid eye, when a cry of agony, a cry as if of one suddenly stricken to the heart, pierced my ear,—a cry from within the house. “Heavens! was that Lilian’s voice?” The same doubt struck Mrs. Ashleigh, who had already gained the door. She rushed on, disappearing within the threshold and calling to me to follow. I bounded forward, passed her on the stairs, was in Lilian’s room before her.
I was quickly scanning my own letters, mostly from patients, when a scream of pain, like someone who had just been hit hard, reached my ears—a scream from inside the house. “Oh my God! Was that Lilian’s voice?” Mrs. Ashleigh had the same thought; she was already at the door. She rushed inside, calling for me to follow. I dashed ahead, went past her on the stairs, and entered Lilian’s room before she could catch up.
My bride was on the floor prostrate, insensible: so still, so colourless, that my first dreadful thought was that life had gone. In her hand was a letter, crushed as with a convulsive sudden grasp.
My bride was lying on the floor, unresponsive: so motionless, so pale, that my first horrifying thought was that she was dead. In her hand was a letter, crumpled as if squeezed tightly in a sudden fit.
It was long before the colour came back to her cheek, before the breath was perceptible on her lip. She woke, but not to health, not to sense. Hours were passed in violent convulsions, in which I momentarily feared her death. To these succeeded stupor, lethargy, not benignant sleep. That night, my bridal night, I passed as in some chamber to which I had been summoned to save youth from the grave. At length—at length—life was rescued, was assured! Life came back, but the mind was gone. She knew me not, nor her mother. She spoke little and faintly; in the words she uttered there was no reason.
It took a long time for color to return to her cheeks, and for me to see her breath on her lips again. She woke up, but not to good health or clarity. Hours passed with her in violent convulsions, during which I feared she might die. After that came stupor, lethargy, not a peaceful sleep. That night, my wedding night, felt like I was in a room where I had been called to save a young life from death. Finally—finally—life was saved, life was back! But her mind was gone. She didn’t recognize me or her mother. She spoke little and softly; there was no sense in the words she said.
I pass hurriedly on; my experience here was in fault, my skill ineffectual. Day followed day, and no ray came back to the darkened brain. We bore her, by gentle stages, to London. I was sanguine of good result from skill more consummate than mine, and more especially devoted to diseases of the mind. I summoned the first advisers. In vain! in vain!
I rushed on; my experience here was flawed, my skills useless. Day after day passed, and no light returned to the darkened mind. We took her, step by step, to London. I was hopeful for a positive outcome from more skilled professionals, especially those focused on mental illness. I called in the top experts. It was all pointless!
CHAPTER LXIII.
And the cause of this direful shock? Not this time could it be traced to some evil spell, some phantasmal influence. The cause was clear, and might have produced effects as sinister on nerves of stronger fibre if accompanied by a heart as delicately sensitive, an honour as exquisitely pure.
And the reason for this terrible shock? This time, it couldn't be attributed to some evil spell or ghostly influence. The cause was clear and might have had equally sinister effects on the nerves of someone stronger if it was paired with a heart that was just as delicately sensitive and an honor that was just as pure.
The letter found in her hand was without name; it was dated from L——, and bore the postmark of that town. It conveyed to Lilian, in the biting words which female malice can make so sharp, the tale we had sought sedulously to guard from her ear,—her flight, the construction that scandal put upon it. It affected for my blind infatuation a contemptuous pity; it asked her to pause before she brought on the name I offered to her an indelible disgrace. If she so decided, she was warned not to return to L——, or to prepare there for the sentence that would exclude her from the society of her own sex. I cannot repeat more, I cannot minute down all that the letter expressed or implied, to wither the orange blossoms in a bride’s wreath. The heart that took in the venom cast its poison on the brain, and the mind fled before the presence of a thought so deadly to all the ideas which its innocence had heretofore conceived.
The letter in her hand had no name; it was dated from L—— and had the postmark from that town. It conveyed to Lilian, in the cutting words that only female malice can make so sharp, the story we had tried hard to keep from her—her departure and the rumors surrounding it. It treated my blind infatuation with a mix of contempt and pity; it urged her to think twice before associating my name with an indelible disgrace. If she chose to do so, she was warned not to return to L—— or to get ready for the judgment that would bar her from the company of other women. I can’t repeat more; I can’t detail everything the letter meant or implied, to wilt the orange blossoms in a bride’s wreath. The heart that absorbed the venom spread its poison to the brain, and the mind recoiled from thoughts so deadly to everything its innocence had previously imagined.
I knew not whom to suspect of the malignity of this mean and miserable outrage, nor did I much care to know. The handwriting, though evidently disguised, was that of a woman, and, therefore, had I discovered the author, my manhood would have forbidden me the idle solace of revenge. Mrs. Poyntz, however resolute and pitiless her hostility when once aroused, was not without a certain largeness of nature irreconcilable with the most dastardly of all the weapons that envy or hatred can supply to the vile. She had too lofty a self-esteem and too decorous a regard for the moral sentiment of the world that she typified, to do, or connive at, an act which degrades the gentlewoman. Putting her aside, what other female enemy had Lilian provoked? No matter! What other woman at L—— was worth the condescension of a conjecture?
I didn't know who to suspect for this cruel and pathetic act, nor did I really care to find out. The handwriting, although clearly disguised, belonged to a woman, and if I had found out who wrote it, my sense of honor would have stopped me from seeking revenge. Mrs. Poyntz, despite being resolute and heartless when provoked, had a certain nobility that didn’t align with the most cowardly tactics that envy or hatred could inspire in someone vile. She had too much self-respect and a proper regard for the moral standards of the world she represented to commit, or even tolerate, an action that would shame a woman of her status. Setting her aside, what other female adversary had Lilian angered? It didn’t matter! What other woman at L—— deserved the effort of speculation?
After listening to all that the ablest of my professional brethren in the metropolis could suggest to guide me, and trying in vain their remedies, I brought back my charge to L——. Retaining my former residence for the visits of patients, I engaged, for the privacy of my home, a house two miles from the town, secluded in its own grounds, and guarded by high walls.
After hearing everything that the best of my colleagues in the city could advise me on, and unsuccessfully trying their solutions, I brought my patient back to L——. I kept my old place for seeing patients, but for the privacy of my home, I rented a house two miles away from town, set back in its own grounds and surrounded by tall walls.
Lilian’s mother removed to my mournful dwelling-place. Abbot’s House, in the centre of that tattling coterie, had become distasteful to her, and to me it was associated with thoughts of anguish and of terror. I could not, without a shudder, have entered its grounds,—could not, without a stab at the heart, have seen again the old fairy-land round the Monks’ Well, nor the dark cedar-tree under which Lilian’s hand had been placed in mine; and a superstitious remembrance, banished while Lilian’s angel face had brightened the fatal precincts, now revived in full force. The dying man’s curse—had it not been fulfilled?
Lilian’s mother moved to my sad home. Abbot’s House, right in the middle of that gossiping group, had become unbearable for her, and for me, it was tied to feelings of pain and fear. I couldn’t have stepped onto its grounds without feeling a shiver—couldn't, without a painful stab in my heart, have looked again at the old fairy-tale land around the Monks’ Well, nor at the dark cedar tree where Lilian’s hand had been placed in mine; and a superstitious memory, pushed away while Lilian’s angelic face had lit up those cursed grounds, now came rushing back. The dying man’s curse—hadn’t it come true?
A new occupant for the old house was found within a week after Mrs. Ashleigh had written from London to a house-agent at L——, intimating her desire to dispose of the lease. Shortly before we had gone to Windermere, Miss Brabazon had become enriched by a liberal life-annuity bequeathed to her by her uncle, Sir Phelim. Her means thus enabled her to move from the comparatively humble lodging she had hitherto occupied to Abbot’s House; but just as she had there commenced a series of ostentatious entertainments, implying an ambitious desire to dispute with Mrs. Poyntz the sovereignty of the Hill, she was attacked by some severe malady which appeared complicated with spinal disease, and after my return to L—— I sometimes met her, on the spacious platform of the Hill, drawn along slowly in a Bath chair, her livid face peering forth from piles of Indian shawls and Siberian furs, and the gaunt figure of Dr. Jones stalking by her side, taciturn and gloomy as some sincere mourner who conducts to the grave the patron on whose life he himself had conveniently lived. It was in the dismal month of February that I returned to L——, and I took possession of my plighted nuptial home on the anniversary of the very day in which I had passed through the dead dumb world from the naturalist’s gloomy death-room.
A new tenant for the old house was found within a week after Mrs. Ashleigh wrote from London to a real estate agent at L——, expressing her wish to sell the lease. Just before we went to Windermere, Miss Brabazon had come into a generous life annuity that her uncle, Sir Phelim, left her. This gave her the financial means to move from the modest lodging she had been living in to Abbot’s House; however, just as she started throwing a series of flashy parties, attempting to rival Mrs. Poyntz for dominance on the Hill, she was struck by a serious illness that seemed complicated by spinal disease. After I returned to L——, I sometimes saw her on the wide platform of the Hill, being slowly pushed along in a Bath chair, her pale face peeking out from layers of Indian shawls and Siberian furs, with the gaunt figure of Dr. Jones walking beside her, silent and gloomy like a true mourner escorting to the grave the benefactor on whose life he had conveniently relied. It was in the dreary month of February when I got back to L——, and I moved into my promised marital home on the anniversary of the very day when I had walked through the lifeless silence of the naturalist's somber death room.
CHAPTER LXIV.
Lilian’s wondrous gentleness of nature did not desert her in the suspension of her reason. She was habitually calm,—very silent; when she spoke it was rarely on earthly things, on things familiar to her past, things one could comprehend. Her thought seemed to have quitted the earth, seeking refuge in some imaginary heaven. She spoke of wanderings with her father as if he were living still; she did not seem to understand the meaning we attach to the word “Death.” She would sit for hours murmuring to herself: when one sought to catch the words, they seemed in converse with invisible spirits. We found it cruel to disturb her at such times, for if left unmolested, her face was serene,—more serenely beautiful than I had seen it even in our happiest hours; but when we called her back to the wrecks of her real life, her eye became troubled, restless, anxious, and she would sigh—oh, so heavily! At times, if we did not seem to observe her, she would quietly resume her once favourite accomplishments,—drawing, music. And in these her young excellence was still apparent, only the drawings were strange and fantastic: they had a resemblance to those with which the painter Blake, himself a visionary, illustrated the Poems of the “Night Thoughts” and “The Grave,”—faces of exquisite loveliness, forms of aerial grace, coming forth from the bells of flowers, or floating upwards amidst the spray of fountains, their outlines melting away in fountain or in flower. So with her music: her mother could not recognize the airs she played, for a while so sweetly and with so ineffable a pathos, that one could scarcely hear her without weeping; and then would come, as if involuntarily, an abrupt discord, and, starting, she would cease and look around, disquieted, aghast.
Lilian’s amazing gentleness didn't leave her even when her mind was unsettled. She was usually calm and very quiet; when she spoke, it was rarely about everyday matters or anything familiar from her past, things we could understand. Her thoughts seemed to have taken flight, searching for solace in some imagined paradise. She talked about wandering with her father as if he were still alive; she didn’t seem to grasp what we mean by the word “Death.” She would sit for hours mumbling to herself: when we tried to catch her words, it felt like she was communicating with unseen spirits. We found it harsh to interrupt her during those moments, because if left alone, her expression was peaceful—more beautifully serene than I had ever seen it, even in our happiest times; but when we brought her back to the reality of her life, her eyes would become troubled, restless, anxious, and she would sigh—oh, so heavily! Sometimes, if we didn’t seem to notice her, she would quietly return to her once favorite activities—drawing and music. In these, her youthful talent was still evident, though the drawings were odd and fantastical: they resembled those made by the painter Blake, who was also a visionary, illustrating the poems of “Night Thoughts” and “The Grave”—faces of remarkable beauty, forms of ethereal grace, emerging from the petals of flowers, or floating up among the sprays of fountains, their outlines fading in and out of flower or fountain. The same went for her music: her mother couldn’t recognize the melodies she played, initially so sweetly and imbued with such indescribable emotion that it was hard not to weep; and then, as if instinctively, a sudden dissonance would erupt, causing her to stop abruptly and look around, disturbed and shocked.
And still she did not recognize Mrs. Ashleigh nor myself as her mother, her husband; but she had by degrees learned to distinguish us both from others. To her mother she gave no name, seemed pleased to see her, but not sensibly to miss her when away; me she called her brother: if longer absent than usual, me she missed. When, after the toils of the day, I came to join her, even if she spoke not, her sweet face brightened. When she sang, she beckoned me to come near to her, and looked at me fixedly, with eyes ever tender, often tearful; when she drew she would pause and glance over her shoulder to see that I was watching her, and point to the drawings with a smile of strange significance, as if they conveyed in some covert allegory messages meant for me; so, at least, I interpreted her smile, and taught myself to say, “Yes, Lilian, I understand!”
And still she didn't recognize Mrs. Ashleigh or me as her mother and husband, but she gradually learned to tell us apart from others. She didn't give her mother a name, seemed happy to see her, but didn't seem to miss her when she was gone; she called me her brother. If I was gone longer than usual, she missed me. When I came to join her after a long day, even if she didn't speak, her sweet face would light up. When she sang, she'd gesture for me to come closer and look at me intently, with eyes always tender and often tearful. When she drew, she'd stop and look back over her shoulder to make sure I was watching her and point at her drawings with a smile that seemed to have a special meaning, as if they were sending me secret messages. At least, that's how I interpreted her smile, and I taught myself to say, "Yes, Lilian, I understand!"
And more than once, when I had so answered, she rose, and kissed my forehead. I thought my heart would have broken when I felt that spirit-like melancholy kiss.
And more than once, when I responded that way, she stood up and kissed my forehead. I thought my heart would break when I felt that ethereal, melancholic kiss.
And yet how marvellously the human mind teaches itself to extract consolations from its sorrows. The least wretched of my hours were those that I had passed in that saddened room, seeking how to establish fragments of intercourse, invent signs, by which each might interpret each, between the intellect I had so laboriously cultured, so arrogantly vaunted, and the fancies wandering through the dark, deprived of their guide in reason. It was something even of joy to feel myself needed for her guardianship, endeared and yearned for still by some unshattered instinct of her heart; and when, parting from her for the night, I stole the moment in which on her soft face seemed resting least of shadow, to ask, in a trembling whisper, “Lilian, are the angels watching over you?” and she would answer “Yes,” sometimes in words, sometimes with a mysterious happy smile—then—then I went to my lonely room, comforted and thankful.
And yet, it’s amazing how the human mind learns to find comfort in its sorrows. The least painful moments for me were those spent in that somber room, trying to create ways to connect, inventing signs that could help us understand each other, bridging the gap between the intellect I had worked so hard to develop and the thoughts that wandered in the dark, lost without reason’s guidance. There was even a sense of joy in feeling that I was needed to protect her, cherished and desired by some unbroken instinct of her heart; and when I left her for the night, I stole a moment when her gentle face seemed to carry the least shadow, to ask, in a soft whisper, “Lilian, are the angels watching over you?” And she would reply “Yes,” sometimes with words, sometimes with a mysterious, happy smile—then, I would go to my lonely room, comforted and grateful.
CHAPTER LXV.
The blow that had fallen on my hearth effectually, inevitably killed all the slander that might have troubled me in joy. Before the awe of a great calamity the small passions of a mean malignity slink abashed. I had requested Mrs. Ashleigh not to mention the vile letter which Lilian had received. I would not give a triumph to the unknown calumniator, nor wring forth her vain remorse, by the pain of acknowledging an indignity to my darling’s honour; yet, somehow or other, the true cause of Lilian’s affliction had crept out,—perhaps through the talk of servants,—and the public shock was universal. By one of those instincts of justice that lie deep in human hearts, though in ordinary moments overlaid by many a worldly layer, all felt (all mothers felt especially) that innocence alone could have been so unprepared for reproach. The explanation I had previously given, discredited then, was now accepted without a question. Lilian’s present state accounted for all that ill nature had before misconstrued. Her good name was restored to its maiden whiteness, by the fate that had severed the ties of the bride. The formal dwellers on the Hill vied with the franker, warmer-hearted households of Low Town in the nameless attentions by which sympathy and respect are rather delicately indicated than noisily proclaimed. Could Lilian have then recovered and been sensible of its repentant homage, how reverently that petty world would have thronged around her! And, ah! could fortune and man’s esteem have atoned for the blight of hopes that had been planted and cherished on ground beyond their reach, ambition and pride might have been well contented with the largeness of the exchange that courted their acceptance. Patients on patients crowded on me. Sympathy with my sorrow seemed to create and endear a more trustful belief in my skill. But the profession I had once so enthusiastically loved became to me wearisome, insipid, distasteful; the kindness heaped on me gave no comfort,—it but brought before me more vividly the conviction that it came too late to avail me: it could not restore to me the mind, the love, the life of my life, which lay dark and shattered in the brain of my guileless Lilian. Secretly I felt a sullen resentment. I knew that to the crowd the resentment was unjust. The world itself is but an appearance; who can blame it if appearances guide its laws? But to those who had been detached from the crowd by the professions of friendship,—those who, when the slander was yet new, and might have been awed into silence had they stood by my side,—to the pressure of their hands, now, I had no response.
The blow that had struck my home effectively and inevitably silenced any slander that might have bothered me during my joy. In the face of great tragedy, the small, nasty emotions of petty malice shrink back, embarrassed. I had asked Mrs. Ashleigh not to mention the awful letter that Lilian had received. I wouldn't give a victory to the unknown slanderer, nor provoke Lilian’s pointless regret by forcing her to acknowledge an affront to my beloved’s honor; yet somehow, the real reason for Lilian’s distress got out—perhaps through the talk of the servants—and the public shock was universal. Due to a deep-seated sense of justice in human hearts, especially among mothers, everyone felt that only innocence could be so unprepared for blame. The explanation I had earlier given, dismissed at the time, was now accepted without question. Lilian’s current situation explained all the negative assumptions that had been previously misinterpreted. Her reputation was restored to its pure state by the fate that had broken the ties of marriage. The formal residents on the Hill competed with the warmer-hearted families of Low Town in the subtle ways sympathy and respect are often expressed without loud proclamations. If Lilian could have recovered and sensed their repentant admiration, how respectfully that small world would have surrounded her! And, oh! if fortune and the approval of others could have made up for the loss of hopes that were planted and nurtured beyond reach, ambition and pride would have been perfectly satisfied with the significant exchange that sought their acceptance. Patients kept piling up for me. Sympathy for my sorrow seemed to foster a more trusting belief in my abilities. But the profession I had once loved so passionately became to me tiring, bland, and distasteful; the kindness shown to me brought no comfort—it simply highlighted the painful truth that it came too late to help me: it could not restore the mind, the love, the life of my life, which lay dark and shattered in the mind of my innocent Lilian. Secretly, I felt a dull resentment. I knew that to others, the resentment seemed unfair. The world itself is just a façade; who can blame it if appearances dictate its rules? But to those who had distanced themselves from the crowd through claims of friendship—those who, when the slander was fresh and might have been intimidated into silence had they stood by me—now, I had no response to their touch.
Against Mrs. Poyntz, above all others, I bore a remembrance of unrelaxed, unmitigable indignation. Her schemes for her daughter’s marriage had triumphed: Jane was Mrs. Ashleigh Sumner. Her mind was, perhaps, softened now that the object which had sharpened its worldly faculties was accomplished: but in vain, on first hearing of my affliction, had this she-Machiavel owned a humane remorse, and, with all her keen comprehension of each facility that circumstances gave to her will, availed herself of the general compassion to strengthen the popular reaction in favour of Lilian’s assaulted honour; in vain had she written to me with a gentleness of sympathy foreign to her habitual characteristics; in vain besought me to call on her; in vain waylaid and accosted me with a humility that almost implored forgiveness. I vouchsafed no reproach, but I could imply no pardon. I put between her and my great sorrow the impenetrable wall of my freezing silence.
Against Mrs. Poyntz, more than anyone else, I held onto a deep, unyielding anger. Her plans for her daughter’s marriage had succeeded: Jane was now Mrs. Ashleigh Sumner. Maybe her mindset had softened now that she had achieved her goal, but when she first heard about my misfortune, any remorse she expressed was just for show. Although she used her sharp understanding of how to manipulate situations to gain sympathy for Lilian’s tarnished reputation, it was for nothing. She wrote to me in a surprisingly gentle tone, asking me to visit her, and tried to approach me with a humility that almost begged for forgiveness. I offered no blame, but I also gave no forgiveness. I placed an impenetrable barrier of cold silence between her and my deep sorrow.
One word of hers at the time that I had so pathetically besought her aid, and the parrot-flock that repeated her very whisper in noisy shrillness would have been as loud to defend as it had been to defame; that vile letter might never have been written. Whoever its writer, it surely was one of the babblers who took their malice itself from the jest or the nod of their female despot; and the writer might have justified herself in saying she did but coarsely proclaim what the oracle of worldly opinion, and the early friend of Lilian’s own mother, had authorized her to believe.
One word from her at the time when I desperately asked for her help, and the flock of parrots that echoed her every whisper in loud, shrill voices would have been just as eager to defend her as they were to slander; that awful letter might never have been written. No matter who wrote it, it was definitely one of the gossipers who got their spite from the jokes or nods of their female ruler; the writer could have defended herself by saying she was simply stating what the world suggested, and what Lilian’s mother’s early friend had allowed her to believe.
By degrees, the bitterness at my heart diffused itself to the circumference of the circle in which my life went its cheerless mechanical round. That cordial brotherhood with his patients, which is the true physician’s happiest gift and humanest duty, forsook my breast. The warning words of Mrs. Poyntz had come true. A patient that monopolized my thought awaited me at my own hearth! My conscience became troubled; I felt that my skill was lessened. I said to myself, “The physician who, on entering the sick-room, feels, while there, something that distracts the finest powers of his intellect from the sufferer’s case is unfit for his calling.” A year had scarcely passed since my fatal wedding day, before I had formed a resolution to quit L—— and abandon my profession; and my resolution was confirmed, and my goal determined, by a letter I received from Julius Faber.
Gradually, the bitterness in my heart spread to the edges of the circle where my life ran its bleak, mechanical course. That warm connection with my patients, which is the true physician’s greatest gift and kindest responsibility, left me. Mrs. Poyntz’s warning had come true. A patient who consumed my thoughts awaited me at home! My conscience grew uneasy; I realized that my abilities had diminished. I told myself, “The physician who enters a sick room and feels anything that distracts the best parts of his mind from the patient’s case is not suited for his profession.” Barely a year had passed since my disastrous wedding day when I decided to leave L—— and give up my career; my decision was solidified and my path set by a letter I received from Julius Faber.
I had written at length to him, not many days after the blow that had fallen on me, stating all circumstances as calmly and clearly as my grief would allow; for I held his skill at a higher estimate than that of any living brother of my art, and I was not without hope in the efficacy of his advice. The letter I now received from him had been begun, and continued at some length, before my communication reached him; and this earlier portion contained animated and cheerful descriptions of his Australian life and home, which contrasted with the sorrowful tone of the supplement written in reply to the tidings with which I had wrung his friendly and tender heart. In this, the latter part of his letter, he suggested that if time had wrought no material change for the better, it might be advisable to try the effect of foreign travel. Scenes entirely new might stimulate observation, and the observation of things external withdraw the sense from that brooding over images delusively formed within, which characterized the kind of mental alienation I had described. “Let any intellect create for itself a visionary world, and all reasonings built on it are fallacious: the visionary world vanishes in proportion as we can arouse a predominant interest in the actual.”
I had written to him at length not long after the blow that hit me, explaining everything as calmly and clearly as my sadness would allow; I valued his skill more than that of any other living peer in my field, and I still held out hope for the effectiveness of his advice. The letter I received from him had started and gone on for a while before my message reached him; this earlier part was filled with lively and cheerful descriptions of his life and home in Australia, which contrasted sharply with the sorrowful tone of the later section he wrote in response to the news that had saddened him deeply. In this latter part of the letter, he suggested that if time had not brought any noticeable improvement, it might be a good idea to consider traveling abroad. New experiences could spark fresh observations, and focusing on the outside world might help distract me from the unhealthy thinking patterns that defined the mental struggle I had described. “When the mind creates a fanciful world of its own, all reasoning based on it becomes flawed: that made-up world fades away as we develop a stronger interest in reality.”
This grand authority, who owed half his consummate skill as a practitioner to the scope of his knowledge as a philosopher, then proceeded to give me a hope which I had not dared of myself to form. He said:—
This great authority, who credited half his expert skills as a practitioner to the breadth of his knowledge as a philosopher, then went on to offer me a hope that I had not dared to envision for myself. He said:—
“I distinguish the case you so minutely detail from that insanity which is reason lost; here it seems rather to be reason held in suspense. Where there is hereditary predisposition, where there is organic change of structure in the brain,—nay, where there is that kind of insanity which takes the epithet of moral, whereby the whole character becomes so transformed that the prime element of sound understanding, conscience itself, is either erased or warped into the sanction of what in a healthful state it would most disapprove,—it is only charlatans who promise effectual cure. But here I assume that there is no hereditary taint; here I am convinced, from my own observation, that the nobility of the organs, all fresh as yet in the vigour of youth, would rather submit to death than to the permanent overthrow of their equilibrium in reason; here, where you tell me the character preserves all its moral attributes of gentleness and purity, and but over-indulges its own early habit of estranged contemplation; here, without deceiving you in false kindness, I give you the guarantee of my experience when I bid you ‘hope!’ I am persuaded that, sooner or later, the mind, thus for a time affected, will right itself; because here, in the cause of the malady, we do but deal with the nervous system. And that, once righted, and the mind once disciplined in those practical duties which conjugal life necessitates, the malady itself will never return; never be transmitted to the children on whom your wife’s restoration to health may permit you to count hereafter. If the course of travel I recommend and the prescriptions I conjoin with that course fail you, let me know; and though I would fain close my days in this land, I will come to you. I love you as my son. I will tend your wife as my daughter.”
“I see the situation you describe in detail as different from that kind of insanity where reason is completely lost; here, it seems more like reason is just temporarily suspended. When there’s a hereditary tendency, when there’s a structural change in the brain—indeed, when there’s a type of insanity that’s called moral, where a person’s whole character changes so much that the fundamental aspect of healthy understanding, conscience, is either erased or twisted to justify what, in a healthy state, it would strongly oppose—it’s only frauds who promise a real cure. But here, I believe there is no hereditary issue; I am convinced, based on my own observations, that the integrity of the mind, still fresh and vigorous with youth, would prefer death over a permanent loss of its rational balance; here, where you tell me that the character retains all its moral qualities of kindness and purity, and just overindulges in an old habit of distant reflection; here, without misleading you with false compassion, I assure you based on my experience that you should ‘hope!’ I am convinced that, sooner or later, the mind, affected for a time, will find its way back to normal; because here, the cause of the issue is connected only with the nervous system. Once that’s set right, and the mind is focused on those practical duties that come with married life, the issue itself will not come back; it will never be passed on to the children you might have when your wife is restored to health. If the travel plan I suggest and the treatments I recommend along with it don’t work for you, let me know; and even though I want to spend the rest of my days in this land, I’ll come to you. I care for you like a son. I will care for your wife like a daughter.”
Foreign travel! The idea smiled on me. Julius Faber’s companionship, sympathy, matchless skill! The very thought seemed as a raft to a drowning mariner. I now read more attentively the earlier portions of his letter. They described, in glowing colours, the wondrous country in which he had fixed his home; the joyous elasticity of its atmosphere; the freshness of its primitive, pastoral life; the strangeness of its scenery, with a Flora and a Fauna which have no similitudes in the ransacked quarters of the Old World. And the strong impulse seized me to transfer to the solitudes of that blithesome and hardy Nature a spirit no longer at home in the civilized haunts of men, and household gods that shrank from all social eyes, and would fain have found a wilderness for the desolate hearth, on which they had ceased to be sacred if unveiled. As if to give practical excuse and reason for the idea that seized me, Julius Faber mentioned, incidentally, that the house and property of a wealthy speculator in his immediate neighbourhood were on sale at a price which seemed to me alluringly trivial, and, according to his judgment, far below the value they would soon reach in the hands of a more patient capitalist. He wrote at the period of the agricultural panic in the colony which preceded the discovery of its earliest gold-fields. But his geological science had convinced him that strata within and around the property now for sale were auriferous, and his intelligence enabled him to predict how inevitably man would be attracted towards the gold, and how surely the gold would fertilize the soil and enrich its owners. He described the house thus to be sold—in case I might know of a purchaser. It had been built at a cost unusual in those early times, and by one who clung to English tastes amidst Australian wilds, so that in this purchase a settler would escape the hardships he had then ordinarily to encounter; it was, in short, a home to which a man more luxurious than I might bear a bride with wants less simple than those which now sufficed for my darling Lilian.
Foreign travel! The idea thrilled me. Julius Faber’s friendship, support, and unmatched skills were incredibly appealing! Just thinking about it felt like a lifeline to someone drowning. I began to read his letter more carefully. He described, in vivid detail, the amazing country where he had made his home; the joyful lightness of its atmosphere; the freshness of its untouched, rural life; the unique landscapes, with plant and animal life that couldn’t be found in the old continents. I felt a strong urge to escape to the solitude of that cheerful and resilient Nature, a place where my spirit no longer felt at home among people and societal norms that seemed to shrink away from the public eye. I yearned for a wilderness for my lonely heart, which had lost its sacredness when exposed. To give practical reason to the idea that had taken hold of me, Julius Faber casually mentioned that a wealthy speculator nearby was selling his house and property for what seemed to be an irresistibly low price, one that, in his opinion, was far below what it would soon be worth if it fell into the hands of a more patient investor. He wrote during the agricultural panic in the colony that came just before gold was found in the area. But his knowledge of geology convinced him that the land around the property now for sale was rich in gold, and he foresaw how inevitably people would be drawn to it, and how the gold would enrich the soil and its new owners. He described the house up for sale—just in case I might know a buyer. It had been built at a cost that was unusual for that time and by someone who maintained English standards amidst the Australian wilderness, so a settler would avoid the typical hardships of that era. In short, it was a home where a man with more extravagant tastes than mine could bring a partner with more complex needs than those that currently satisfied my beloved Lilian.
This communication dwelt on my mind through the avocations of the day on which I received it, and in the evening I read all, except the supplement, aloud to Mrs. Ashleigh in her daughter’s presence. I desired to see if Faber’s descriptions of the country and its life, which in themselves were extremely spirited and striking, would arouse Lilian’s interest. At first she did not seem to heed me while I read; but when I came to Faber’s loving account of little Amy, Lilian turned her eyes towards me, and evidently listened with attention. He wrote how the child had already become the most useful person in the simple household. How watchful the quickness of the heart had made the service of the eye; all their associations of comfort had grown round her active, noiseless movements; it was she who had contrived to monopolize the management, or supervision, of all that added to Home the nameless, interior charm. Under her eyes the rude furniture of the log-house grew inviting with English neatness; she took charge of the dairy; she had made the garden gay with flowers selected from the wild, and suggested the trellised walk, already covered with hardy vine. She was their confidant in every plan of improvement, their comforter in every anxious doubt, their nurse in every passing ailment, her very smile a refreshment in the weariness of daily toil. “How all that is best in womanhood,” wrote the old man, with the enthusiasm which no time had reft from his hearty, healthful genius,—“how all that is best in womanhood is here opening fast into flower from the bud of the infant’s soul! The atmosphere seems to suit it,—the child-woman in the child-world!”
This message stayed on my mind throughout the day I got it, and in the evening, I read everything except the supplement aloud to Mrs. Ashleigh while her daughter was present. I wanted to see if Faber’s vivid and striking descriptions of the countryside and its lifestyle would catch Lilian’s interest. At first, she didn’t seem to pay attention while I read; but when I reached Faber’s affectionate description of little Amy, Lilian turned her gaze toward me and clearly listened closely. He wrote about how the child had already become the most helpful person in their simple home. He described how her quickness of thought had sharpened her perception, making her movements a source of comfort. All their feelings of coziness had grown around her active, quiet movements; she was the one who managed or oversaw everything that added that indescribable charm to their home. Under her watchful eye, the crude furniture of the log cabin became welcoming with English tidiness; she took care of the dairy; she filled the garden with flowers picked from the wild and suggested the trellised path, already covered with hardy vines. She was their confidante in every improvement plan, their comforter in every worry, their nurse during every minor illness, her very smile a breath of fresh air in the weariness of daily labor. “How all that is best in womanhood,” the old man wrote with the enthusiasm that time hadn’t dimmed from his hearty, vibrant spirit,—“how all that is best in womanhood is here blooming rapidly from the bud of the infant’s soul! The atmosphere seems perfect for it,—the child-woman in the child-world!”
I heard Lilian sigh; I looked towards her furtively; tears stood in her softened eyes; her lip was quivering. Presently, she began to rub her right hand over the left—over the wedding-ring—at first slowly; then with quicker movement.
I heard Lilian sigh; I glanced at her stealthily; tears filled her soft eyes; her lip was trembling. Soon, she started to rub her right hand over her left—over the wedding ring—first slowly; then with a quicker motion.
“It is not here,” she said impatiently; “it is not here!”
“It’s not here,” she said impatiently; “it’s not here!”
“What is not here?” asked Mrs. Ashleigh, hanging over her.
“What isn’t here?” asked Mrs. Ashleigh, leaning over her.
Lilian leaned back her head on her mother’s bosom, and answered faintly,—
Lilian rested her head on her mother’s chest and replied softly,—
“The stain! Some one said there was a stain on this hand. I do not see it, do you?”
“The stain! Someone said there was a stain on this hand. I don't see it, do you?”
“There is no stain, never was,” said I; “the hand is white as your own innocence, or the lily from which you take your name.”
“There’s no stain, never was,” I said; “the hand is as white as your own innocence, or the lily from which you get your name.”
“Hush! you do not know my name. I will whisper it. Soft!—my name is Nightshade! Do you want to know where the lily is now, brother? I will tell you. There, in that letter. You call her Amy,—she is the lily; take her to your breast, hide her. Hist! what are those bells? Marriage-bells. Do not let her hear them; for there is a cruel wind that whispers the bells, and the bells ring out what it whispers, louder and louder,
“Hush! You don’t know my name. I’ll whisper it. Softly—my name is Nightshade! Do you want to know where the lily is now, brother? I’ll tell you. There, in that letter. You call her Amy—she is the lily; hold her close, keep her safe. Shh! What are those bells? Wedding bells. Don’t let her hear them; there’s a cruel wind that carries the sound of the bells, and the bells ring out what it whispers, getting louder and louder.
“‘Stain on lily Shame on lily, Wither lily.’
“‘Stain on lily Shame on lily, Wither lily.’”
“If she hears what the wind whispers to the bells, she will creep away into the dark, and then she, too, will turn to Nightshade.”
“If she hears what the wind tells the bells, she'll sneak away into the dark, and then she’ll also become Nightshade.”
“Lilian, look up, awake! You have been in a long, long dream: it is passing away. Lilian, my beloved, my blessed Lilian!”
“Lilian, look up, wake up! You've been in a really long dream: it's fading away. Lilian, my love, my precious Lilian!”
Never till then had I heard from her even so vague an allusion to the fatal calumny and its dreadful effect, and while her words now pierced my heart, it beat, amongst its pangs, with a thrilling hope.
Never before had I heard her make even the slightest mention of the devastating gossip and its terrible impact. While her words now tore at my heart, it still beat, amid the pain, with a flicker of hope.
But, alas! the idea that had gleamed upon her had vanished already. She murmured something about Circles of Fire, and a Veiled Woman in black garments; became restless, agitated, and unconscious of our presence, and finally sank into a heavy sleep.
But, unfortunately! the idea that had come to her had already faded away. She murmured something about Circles of Fire and a Veiled Woman in black clothing; she became restless, agitated, and unaware of our presence, and finally fell into a deep sleep.
That night (my room was next to hers with the intervening door open) I heard her cry out. I hastened to her side. She was still asleep, but there was an anxious labouring expression on her young face, and yet not an expression wholly of pain—for her lips were parted with a smile,—that glad yet troubled smile with which one who has been revolving some subject of perplexity or fear greets a sudden thought that seems to solve the riddle, or prompt the escape from danger; and as I softly took her hand she returned my gentle pressure, and inclining towards me, said, still in sleep,—
That night (my room was next to hers with the door between us open) I heard her cry out. I rushed to her side. She was still asleep, but there was an anxious, strained look on her young face, and yet it wasn’t entirely a look of pain—her lips were slightly curved in a smile—the kind of happy yet worried smile someone has when they’re wrestling with a troubling thought but suddenly get a flash of insight that seems to solve their problem or offer a way out of danger; and as I gently took her hand, she squeezed back softly, and leaning toward me, said, still half-asleep,—
“Let us go.”
"Let's go."
“Whither?” I answered, under my breath, so as not to awake her; “is it to see the child of whom I read, and the land that is blooming out of the earth’s childhood?”
“Where to?” I whispered, so I wouldn’t wake her; “is it to see the child I read about and the land that’s blossoming out of the earth’s early days?”
“Out of the dark into the light; where the leaves do not change; where the night is our day, and the winter our summer. Let us go! let us go!”
“Out of the darkness and into the light; where the leaves never change; where night is our day and winter is our summer. Let’s go! Let’s go!”
“We will go. Dream on undisturbed, my bride. Oh, that the dream could tell you that my love has not changed in our sorrow, holier and deeper than on the day in which our vows were exchanged! In you still all my hopes fold their wings; where you are, there still I myself have my dreamland!”
“We will go. Keep dreaming peacefully, my love. Oh, if only the dream could show you that my love has remained constant through our pain, more sacred and profound than on the day we exchanged our vows! In you, all my hopes still take flight; where you are, there I still have my fantasy!”
The sweet face grew bright as I spoke; all trouble left the smile; softly she drew her hand from my clasp, and rested it for a moment on my bended head, as if in blessing.
The sweet face lit up as I spoke; all worry vanished from the smile; gently she pulled her hand from mine and rested it for a moment on my bowed head, as if to bless me.
I rose; stole back to my own room, closing the door, lest the sob I could not stifle should mar her sleep.
I got up; quietly went back to my room, closing the door so that the sob I couldn’t hold back wouldn’t disturb her sleep.
CHAPTER LXVI.
I unfolded my new prospects to Mrs. Ashleigh. She was more easily reconciled to them than I could have supposed, judging by her habits, which were naturally indolent, and averse to all that disturbed their even tenor. But the great grief which had befallen her had roused up that strength of devotion which lies dormant in all hearts that are capable of loving another more than self. With her full consent I wrote to Faber, communicating my intentions, instructing him to purchase the property he had so commended, and inclosing my banker’s order for the amount, on an Australian firm. I now announced my intention to retire from my profession; made prompt arrangements with a successor to my practice; disposed of my two houses at L——; fixed the day of my departure. Vanity was dead within me, or I might have been gratified by the sensation which the news of my design created. My faults became at once forgotten; such good qualities as I might possess were exaggerated. The public regret vented and consoled itself in a costly testimonial, to which even the poorest of my patients insisted on the privilege to contribute, graced with an inscription flattering enough to have served for the epitaph on some great man’s tomb. No one who has served an art and striven for a name is a stoic to the esteem of others; and sweet indeed would such honours have been to me had not publicity itself seemed a wrong to the sanctity of that affliction which set Lilian apart from the movement and the glories of the world.
I shared my new plans with Mrs. Ashleigh. She accepted them more easily than I expected, considering her naturally lazy habits and her dislike for anything that disrupted her routine. But the significant loss she had experienced had awakened a deep strength of devotion that lies dormant in anyone who can love someone else more than themselves. With her full approval, I wrote to Faber, letting him know my intentions, instructing him to buy the property he had praised, and including my bank order for the amount from an Australian firm. I then announced my plan to retire from my profession; I made quick arrangements for a successor to take over my practice; sold my two houses in L——; and set a date for my departure. My vanity was gone, or I might have felt pleased by the reaction to my news. My flaws were instantly forgotten; any good traits I had were exaggerated. The public expressed their sadness and showed their gratitude with an expensive farewell gift, which even the poorest of my patients insisted on contributing to, embellished with an inscription flattering enough to befit the tomb of a great man. No one who has dedicated themselves to a craft and sought recognition is indifferent to the opinions of others; and such honors would have been sweet to me had it not felt wrong to draw attention away from the grief that set Lilian apart from the happenings and glories of the world.
The two persons most active in “getting up” this testimonial were, nominally, Colonel Poyntz—in truth, his wife—and my old disparager, Mr. Vigors! It is long since my narrative has referred to Mr. Vigors. It is due to him now to state that, in his capacity of magistrate, and in his own way, he had been both active and delicate in the inquiries set on foot for Lilian during the unhappy time in which she had wandered, spellbound, from her home. He, alone, of all the more influential magnates of the town, had upheld her innocence against the gossips that aspersed it; and during the last trying year of my residence at L——, he had sought me, with frank and manly confessions of his regret for his former prejudice against me, and assurances of the respect in which he had held me ever since my marriage—marriage but in rite—with Lilian. He had then, strong in his ruling passion, besought me to consult his clairvoyants as to her case. I declined this invitation so as not to affront him,—declined it, not as I should once have done, but with no word nor look of incredulous disdain. The fact was, that I had conceived a solemn terror of all practices and theories out of the beaten track of sense and science. Perhaps in my refusal I did wrong. I know not. I was afraid of my own imagination. He continued not less friendly in spite of my refusal. And, such are the vicissitudes in human feeling, I parted from him whom I had regarded as my most bigoted foe with a warmer sentiment of kindness than for any of those on whom I had counted on friendship. He had not deserted Lilian. It was not so with Mrs. Poyntz. I would have paid tenfold the value of the testimonial to have erased, from the list of those who subscribed to it, her husband’s name.
The two people most involved in putting together this testimonial were, officially, Colonel Poyntz—though it was really his wife—and my former critic, Mr. Vigors! It’s been a while since my story mentioned Mr. Vigors. It’s only fair to note that, in his role as a magistrate, he had been both proactive and sensitive in the investigations launched for Lilian during the unfortunate time she had strayed, entranced, from her home. He was the only one among the influential figures in town who defended her innocence against the rumors that undermined it; and during the last challenging year of my time in L——, he reached out to me, expressing his regret for his past bias against me and assuring me of the respect he had held for me ever since my marriage—though it was only a ceremonial one—with Lilian. He then, driven by his strong passion, urged me to consult his clairvoyants about her situation. I turned down the offer to avoid upsetting him—not in the way I would have before, but without any words or looks of disbelief. The truth is, I had developed a deep fear of all practices and theories outside the realm of common sense and science. Maybe I was wrong to refuse. I’m not sure. I feared my own imagination. Despite my rejection, he remained friendly. And, reflecting the twists and turns of human emotion, I left him—who I had once seen as my most stubborn enemy—with a warmer sense of goodwill than for any of those I had expected to be my friends. He hadn’t abandoned Lilian. Things were different with Mrs. Poyntz. I would have gladly paid ten times the worth of the testimonial to have her husband’s name removed from the list of contributors.
The day before I quitted L——, and some weeks after I had, in fact, renounced my practice, I received an urgent entreaty from Miss Brabazon to call on her. She wrote in lines so blurred that I could with difficulty decipher them, that she was very ill, given over by Dr. Jones, who had been attending her. She implored my opinion.
The day before I left L——, and a few weeks after I had actually given up my practice, I got an urgent request from Miss Brabazon to visit her. She wrote in such smudged handwriting that I could barely read it, saying she was very sick and had been given up by Dr. Jones, who had been taking care of her. She begged for my opinion.
CHAPTER LXVII.
On reaching the house, a formal man-servant, with indifferent face, transferred me to the guidance of a hired nurse, who led me up the stairs, and, before I was well aware of it, into the room in which Dr. Lloyd had died. Widely different, indeed, the aspect of the walls, the character of the furniture! The dingy paperhangings were replaced by airy muslins, showing a rose-coloured ground through their fanciful openwork; luxurious fauteuils, gilded wardrobes, full-length mirrors, a toilet-table tricked out with lace and ribbons; and glittering with an array of silver gewgaws and jewelled trinkets,—all transformed the sick chamber of the simple man of science to a boudoir of death for the vain coquette. But the room itself, in its high lattice and heavy ceiling, was the same—as the coffin itself has the same confines, whether it be rich in velvets and bright with blazoning, or rude as a pauper’s shell.
Upon arriving at the house, a formal but indifferent servant handed me over to a hired nurse, who guided me up the stairs. Before I knew it, I found myself in the room where Dr. Lloyd had passed away. The place looked completely different—gone were the dull wallpaper and the simple furnishings! They had been replaced by light muslins that revealed a rosy backdrop through their whimsical patterns; luxurious armchairs, gilded wardrobes, full-length mirrors, and a dressing table adorned with lace and ribbons, sparkling with a collection of shiny silver trinkets and jeweled accessories—all of this transformed the sickroom of the humble scientist into a death chamber for the vain socialite. Yet the room itself, with its tall windows and heavy ceiling, remained unchanged—just like a coffin, which retains the same shape, whether it's lined with rich velvet and embellished or as plain as a beggar's casket.
And the bed, with its silken coverlet, and its pillows edged with the thread-work of Louvain, stood in the same sharp angle as that over which had flickered the frowning smoke-reek above the dying, resentful foe. As I approached, a man, who was seated beside the sufferer, turned round his face, and gave me a silent kindly nod of recognition. He was Mr. C——, one of the clergy of the town, the one with whom I had the most frequently come into contact wherever the physician resigns to the priest the language that bids man hope. Mr. C——-, as a preacher, was renowned for his touching eloquence; as a pastor, revered for his benignant piety; as friend and neighbour, beloved for a sweetness of nature which seemed to regulate all the movements of a mind eminently masculine by the beat of a heart tender as the gentlest woman’s.
And the bed, with its silky cover and pillows edged with Louvain lace, was positioned at the same sharp angle as the spot where the angry smoke had risen above the dying, resentful enemy. As I got closer, a man seated next to the sufferer turned his face to me and gave a silent, friendly nod of recognition. He was Mr. C——, one of the town's clergy, the one I had mostly interacted with whenever the doctor turned to the priest for words that offered hope. Mr. C—— was known for his moving sermons; as a pastor, he was respected for his kind-hearted faith; and as a friend and neighbor, he was loved for a sweet nature that seemed to guide all the actions of a strong mind with the rhythm of a heart as tender as the gentlest woman's.
This good man; then whispering something to the sufferer which I did not overhear, stole towards me, took me by the hand, and said, also in a whisper, “Be merciful as Christians are.” He led me to the bedside, there left me, went out, and closed the door.
This kind man, quietly saying something to the person in pain that I couldn't hear, moved closer to me, took my hand, and whispered, "Be compassionate, like Christians are." He brought me to the bedside, then left me there, went outside, and shut the door.
“Do you think I am really dying, Dr. Fenwick?” said a feeble voice. “I fear Dr. Jones has misunderstood my case. I wish I had called you in at the first, but—but I could not—I could not! Will you feel my pulse? Don’t you think you could do me good?”
“Do you really think I’m dying, Dr. Fenwick?” said a weak voice. “I’m afraid Dr. Jones has misunderstood my situation. I wish I had asked for your help earlier, but—but I couldn’t—I just couldn’t! Can you check my pulse? Don’t you think you could help me?”
I had no need to feel the pulse in that skeleton wrist; the aspect of the face sufficed to tell me that death was drawing near.
I didn’t need to check the pulse in that bony wrist; the look on the face was enough to show me that death was approaching.
Mechanically, however, I went through the hackneyed formulae of professional questions. This vain ceremony done, as gently and delicately as I could, I implied the expediency of concluding, if not yet settled, those affairs which relate to this world.
Mechanically, I went through the tired routine of professional questions. Once this pointless formality was over, as gently and delicately as I could, I suggested that it might be wise to wrap up, if not completely resolved, those matters related to this world.
“This duty,” I said, “in relieving the mind from care for others to whom we owe the forethought of affection, often relieves the body also of many a gnawing pain, and sometimes, to the surprise of the most experienced physician, prolongs life itself.”
“This duty,” I said, “in freeing the mind from worry about others whom we care for, often eases the body of many nagging pains, and sometimes, to the surprise of even the most experienced doctor, extends life itself.”
“Ah,” said the old maid, peevishly, “I understand! But it is not my will that troubles me. I should not be left to a nurse from a hospital if my relations did not know that my annuity dies with me; and I forestalled it in furnishing this house, Dr. Fenwick, and all these pretty things will be sold to pay those horrid tradesmen!—very hard!—so hard!—just as I got things about me in the way I always said I would have them if I could ever afford it! I always said I would have my bedroom hung with muslin, like dear Lady L——‘s; and the drawing-room in geranium-coloured silk: so pretty. You have not seen it: you would not know the house, Dr. Fenwick. And just when all is finished, to be taken away and thrust into the grave. It is so cruel!” And she began to weep. Her emotion brought on a violent paroxysm, which, when she recovered from it, had produced one of those startling changes of mind that are sometimes witnessed before death,—changes whereby the whole character of a life seems to undergo solemn transformation. The hard will becomes gentle, the proud meek, the frivolous earnest. That awful moment when the things of earth pass away like dissolving scenes, leaving death visible on the background by the glare that shoots up in the last flicker of life’s lamp.
“Ah,” said the old maid, irritably, “I get it! But it’s not my own troubles that upset me. I shouldn’t have to rely on a nurse from a hospital if my relatives didn’t know that my income dies with me; and I anticipated that when I furnished this house, Dr. Fenwick, and all these lovely things will be sold to pay those dreadful tradesmen! — so unfair! — so unfair! — just when I finally got everything set up the way I always said I would if I could ever afford it! I always said I would have my bedroom draped in muslin, like dear Lady L——’s; and the living room in geranium-colored silk: so beautiful. You haven’t seen it: you wouldn’t recognize the house, Dr. Fenwick. And just when everything is finished, to be taken away and shoved into the grave. It’s so cruel!” And she started to cry. Her emotion triggered a violent episode, which, when she recovered, led to one of those shocking changes of heart that sometimes happen before death — moments when the entire character of a life seems to transform profoundly. The hard will becomes soft, the proud turns humble, the frivolous becomes serious. That terrible moment when worldly things fade away like dissolving scenes, leaving death starkly visible against the background by the flare that bursts forth in the final flicker of life’s lamp.
And when she lifted her haggard face from my shoulder, and heard my pitying, soothing voice, it was not the grief of a trifler at the loss of fondled toys that spoke in the fallen lines of her lip, in the woe of her pleading eyes.
And when she lifted her tired face from my shoulder and heard my compassionate, calming voice, it wasn’t the sorrow of someone casually upset over lost possessions that showed in the droop of her lips or the misery in her pleading eyes.
“So this is death,” she said. “I feel it hurrying on. I must speak. I promised Mr. C—— that I would. Forgive me, can you—can you? That letter—that letter to Lilian Ashleigh, I wrote it! Oh, do not look at me so terribly; I never thought it could do such evil! And am I not punished enough? I truly believed when I wrote that Miss Ashleigh was deceiving you, and once I was silly enough to fancy that you might have liked me. But I had another motive; I had been so poor all my life—I had become rich unexpectedly; I set my heart on this house—I had always fancied it—and I thought if I could prevent Miss Ashleigh marrying you, and scare her and her mother from coming back to L——, I could get the house. And I did get it. What for?—to die. I had not been here a week before I got the hurt that is killing me—a fall down the stairs,—coming out of this very room; the stairs had been polished. If I had stayed in my old lodging, it would not have happened. Oh, say you forgive me! Say, say it, even if you do not feel you can! Say it!” And the miserable woman grasped me by the arm as Dr. Lloyd had grasped me.
“So this is death,” she said. “I can feel it coming fast. I need to say something. I promised Mr. C—— that I would. Can you forgive me? That letter—that letter to Lilian Ashleigh, I wrote it! Oh, please don’t look at me like that; I never thought it could cause so much harm! Am I not punished enough? I honestly believed when I wrote that Miss Ashleigh was tricking you, and at one point, I foolishly thought you might have liked me. But I had another reason; I had been poor my whole life—I suddenly became wealthy; I wanted this house—I had always dreamed of it—and I thought if I could stop Miss Ashleigh from marrying you and scare her and her mother away from coming back to L——, I could have the house. And I did get it. What for?—to die. I hadn’t even been here a week before I got the injury that’s killing me—a fall down the stairs—coming out of this very room; the stairs had been polished. If I had stayed in my old place, it wouldn’t have happened. Oh, please say you forgive me! Just say it, even if you don’t really mean it! Please, say it!” And the miserable woman grabbed my arm just like Dr. Lloyd had.
I shaded my averted face with my hands; my heart heaved with the agony of my suppressed passion. A wrong, however deep, only to myself, I could have pardoned without effort; such a wrong to Lilian,—no! I could not say “I forgive.”
I covered my turned-away face with my hands; my heart was heavy with the pain of my repressed feelings. A wrong done to me, no matter how severe, I could have easily forgiven; but a wrong done to Lilian—no! I couldn’t say “I forgive.”
The dying wretch was perhaps more appalled by my silence than she would have been by my reproach. Her voice grew shrill in her despair.
The dying person was probably more shocked by my silence than she would have been by my criticism. Her voice became high-pitched in her desperation.
“You will not pardon me! I shall die with your curse on my head! Mercy! mercy! That good man, Mr. C——, assured me you would be merciful. Have you never wronged another? Has the Evil One never tempted you?”
“You won't forgive me! I'll die with your curse hanging over me! Please! Please! That good man, Mr. C——, told me you would show mercy. Have you never hurt someone else? Has the Devil never tested you?”
Then I spoke in broken accents: “Me! Oh, had it been I whom you defamed—but a young creature so harmless, so unoffending, and for so miserable a motive!”
Then I spoke in a shaky voice: “Me! Oh, if only it had been me you slandered—but a young person so innocent, so blameless, and for such a pitiful reason!”
“But I tell you, I swear to you, I never dreamed I could cause such sorrow; and that young man, that Margrave, put it into my head!”
“But I tell you, I swear to you, I never imagined I could bring about such sorrow; and that young guy, that Margrave, suggested it to me!”
“Margrave! He had left L—— long before that letter was written!”
“Margrave! He had left L—— long before that letter was sent!”
“But he came back for a day just before I wrote: it was the very day. I met him in the lane yonder. He asked after you,—after Miss Ashleigh; and when he spoke he laughed, and I said, ‘Miss Ashleigh had been ill, and was gone away;’ and he laughed again. And I thought he knew more than he would tell me, so I asked him if he supposed Mrs. Ashleigh would come back, and said how much I should like to take this house if she did not; and again he laughed, and said, ‘Birds never stay in the nest after the young ones are hurt,’ and went away singing. When I got home, his laugh and his song haunted me. I thought I saw him still in my room, prompting me to write, and I sat down and wrote. Oh, pardon, pardon me! I have been a foolish poor creature, but never meant to do such harm. The Evil One tempted me! There he is, near me now! I see him yonder! there, at the doorway. He comes to claim me! As you hope for mercy yourself, free me from him! Forgive me!”
“But he came back for a day right before I wrote: it was the exact day. I ran into him in that lane over there. He inquired about you—about Miss Ashleigh; and when he spoke, he laughed. I told him, ‘Miss Ashleigh had been sick and had gone away,’ and he laughed again. I thought he knew more than he was letting on, so I asked if he thought Mrs. Ashleigh would return and mentioned how much I would love to take this house if she didn’t; and he laughed once more, saying, ‘Birds never stay in the nest after the young ones are hurt,’ and walked away singing. When I got home, his laugh and his song stuck with me. I felt like I still saw him in my room, encouraging me to write, so I sat down and wrote. Oh, please forgive me! I have been a foolish wretch but never intended to cause such harm. The Evil One tempted me! There he is, near me now! I see him over there! Right at the doorway. He comes to take me! As you hope for mercy yourself, free me from him! Forgive me!”
I made an effort over myself. In naming Margrave as her tempter, the woman had suggested an excuse, echoed from that innermost cell of my mind, which I recoiled from gazing into, for there I should behold his image. Inexpiable though the injury she had wrought against me and mine, still the woman was human—fellow-creature-like myself;—but he?
I struggled with my thoughts. By naming Margrave as her tempter, the woman had given me a justification that resonated in the deepest part of my mind, a part I avoided looking into because I would see his face there. Even though the harm she had caused me and my loved ones was unforgettable, she was still human—just like me; but him?
I took the pale hand that still pressed my arm, and said, with firm voice,—
I took the pale hand that was still gripping my arm and said, in a strong voice,—
“Be comforted. In the name of Lilian, my wife, I forgive you for her and for me as freely and as fully as we are enjoined by Him, against whose precepts the best of us daily sin, to forgive—we children of wrath—to forgive one another!”
“Take comfort. In the name of Lilian, my wife, I forgive you for her and for me as freely and completely as we are commanded by Him, against whose teachings the best of us sin every day, to forgive—we, the children of wrath—to forgive one another!”
“Heaven bless you!—oh, bless you!” she murmured, sinking back upon her pillow.
“Heaven bless you!—oh, bless you!” she whispered, sinking back onto her pillow.
“Ah!” thought I, “what if the pardon I grant for a wrong far deeper than I inflicted on him whose imprecation smote me in this chamber, should indeed be received as atonement, and this blessing on the lips of the dying annul the dark curse that the dead has left on my path through the Valley of the Shadow!”
“Ah!” I thought, “what if the forgiveness I give for a wrongdoing much worse than what I did to him, the one whose curse struck me in this room, is actually seen as atonement, and this blessing from the dying could lift the heavy curse that the dead has placed on my journey through the Valley of the Shadow!”
I left my patient sleeping quietly,—the sleep that precedes the last. As I went down the stairs into the hall, I saw Mrs. Poyntz standing at the threshold, speaking to the man-servant and the nurse.
I left my patient sleeping peacefully—the kind of sleep that comes before the end. As I went down the stairs into the hallway, I saw Mrs. Poyntz standing at the entrance, talking to the male servant and the nurse.
I would have passed her with a formal bow, but she stopped me.
I would have walked past her with a formal nod, but she stopped me.
“I came to inquire after poor Miss Brabazon,” said she.
“I came to ask about poor Miss Brabazon,” she said.
“You can tell me more than the servants can: is there no hope?”
“You can tell me more than the servants can: is there any hope?”
“Let the nurse go up and watch beside her. She may pass away in the sleep into which she has fallen.”
“Have the nurse go upstairs and stay by her side. She might pass away in the sleep she has fallen into.”
“Allen Fenwick, I must speak with you—nay, but for a few minutes. I hear that you leave L—— to-morrow. It is scarcely among the chances of life that we should meet again.” While thus saying, she drew me along the lawn down the path that led towards her own home. “I wish,” said she, earnestly, “that you could part with a kindlier feeling towards me; but I can scarcely expect it. Could I put myself in your place, and be moved by your feelings, I know that I should be implacable; but I—”
“Allen Fenwick, I need to talk to you—just for a few minutes. I heard you’re leaving L—— tomorrow. It’s unlikely we'll have the chance to meet again.” As she said this, she pulled me along the lawn down the path that led to her house. “I wish,” she said earnestly, “that you could leave with a more positive feeling towards me; but I can hardly expect that. If I were in your position and felt what you feel, I know I would be unforgiving; but I—”
“But you, madam, are The World! and the World governs itself, and dictates to others, by laws which seem harsh to those who ask from its favour the services which the World cannot tender, for the World admits favourites, but ignores friends. You did but act to me as the World ever acts to those who mistake its favour for its friendship.”
“But you, madam, are The World! And the World governs itself and dictates to others with laws that seem harsh to those who seek favors from it that it cannot provide, because the World accepts favorites but disregards friends. You simply treated me as the World always treats those who confuse its favor for its friendship.”
“It is true,” said Mrs. Poyntz, with blunt candour; and we continued to walk on silently. At length she said abruptly, “But do you not rashly deprive yourself of your only consolation in sorrow? When the heart suffers, does your skill admit any remedy like occupation to the mind? Yet you abandon that occupation to which your mind is most accustomed; you desert your career; you turn aside, in the midst of the race, from the fame which awaits at the goal; you go back from civilization itself, and dream that all your intellectual cravings can find content in the life of a herdsman, amidst the monotony of a wild! No, you will repent, for you are untrue to your mind!”
“It’s true,” said Mrs. Poyntz, candidly. We kept walking in silence. After a while, she suddenly said, “But aren’t you foolishly denying yourself your only comfort in sorrow? When the heart aches, isn’t there any remedy like keeping the mind busy? Yet you’re giving up the work your mind is used to; you’re abandoning your career; you’re stepping away, right in the middle of the race, from the success that awaits you at the finish line; you’re retreating from civilization itself and dreaming that all your intellectual needs can be satisfied by living the life of a herdsman, in the dullness of the wild! No, you’ll regret this, because you’re being untrue to your mind!”
“I am sick of the word ‘mind’!” said I, bitterly. And therewith I relapsed into musing.
“I’m so tired of the word ‘mind’!” I said, feeling frustrated. And with that, I fell back into my thoughts.
The enigmas which had foiled my intelligence in the unravelled Sibyl Book of Nature were mysteries strange to every man’s normal practice of thought, even if reducible to the fraudulent impressions of outward sense; for illusions in a brain otherwise healthy suggest problems in our human organization which the colleges that record them rather guess at than solve. But the blow which had shattered my life had been dealt by the hand of a fool. Here, there were no mystic enchantments. Motives the most commonplace and paltry, suggested to a brain as trivial and shallow as ever made the frivolity of woman a theme for the satire of poets, had sufficed, in devastating the field of my affections, to blast the uses for which I had cultured my mind; and had my intellect been as great as heaven ever gave to man, it would have been as vain a shield as mine against the shaft that had lodged in my heart. While I had, indeed, been preparing my reason and my fortitude to meet such perils, weird and marvellous, as those by which tales round the winter fireside scare the credulous child, a contrivance—so vulgar and hackneyed that not a day passes but what some hearth is vexed by an anonymous libel—had wrought a calamity more dread than aught which my dark guess into the Shadow-Land unpierced by Philosophy could trace to the prompting of malignant witchcraft. So, ever this truth runs through all legends of ghost and demon—through the uniform records of what wonder accredits and science rejects as the supernatural—lo! the dread machinery whose wheels roll through Hades! What need such awful engines for such mean results? The first blockhead we meet in our walk to our grocer’s can tell us more than the ghost tells us; the poorest envy we ever aroused hurts us more than the demon. How true an interpreter is Genius to Hell as to Earth! The Fiend comes to Faust, the tired seeker of knowledge; Heaven and Hell stake their cause in the Mortal’s temptation. And what does the Fiend to astonish the Mortal? Turn wine into fire, turn love into crime. We need no Mephistopheles to accomplish these marvels every day!
The puzzles that had confused my understanding in the opened Sibyl Book of Nature were strange mysteries unfamiliar to everyone’s usual thought process, even if they could be reduced to the deceptive impressions of our senses; because illusions in a otherwise healthy mind point to issues in our human setup that the colleges studying them merely guess at rather than truly solve. But the impact that shattered my life was dealt by a fool. Here, there were no mystical spells. The most ordinary and trivial motives, suggested to a mind as shallow and unremarkable as those that inspired poets to satirize the triviality of women, were enough to devastate my affections and ruin the purpose for which I had developed my intellect; and had my intellect been as significant as heaven ever granted to any man, it would have served as vainly as mine against the arrow that struck my heart. While I had indeed been preparing my reason and courage to face strange and marvelous threats, like those that keep kids scared around the winter fireside, a scheme—so common and cliched that not a day goes by without some household being troubled by anonymous slander—had brought about a disaster more terrifying than anything my dark imaginings about the Shadow-Land, unexplored by Philosophy, could link to evil witchcraft. Thus, this fact runs throughout all legends of ghosts and demons—through the consistent accounts of what wonder endorses and science disclaims as the supernatural—see! the terrifying machinery whose wheels roll through Hades! What need is there for such dreadful engines for such trivial outcomes? The first simpleton we encounter on our way to the grocery store can tell us more than what a ghost can reveal; the smallest jealousy we ever stirred up hurts us more than any demon. How accurately Genius interprets Hell just as it does Earth! The Fiend approaches Faust, the weary seeker of knowledge; Heaven and Hell put their stakes on the Mortal’s temptation. And what does the Fiend do to astonish the Mortal? Turns wine into fire, turns love into sin. We need no Mephistopheles to achieve these wonders every day!
Thus silently thinking, I walked by the side of the world-wise woman; and when she next spoke, I looked up, and saw that we were at the Monks’ Well, where I had first seen Lilian gazing into heaven!
Thus silently thinking, I walked alongside the worldly woman; and when she spoke again, I looked up and saw that we were at the Monks’ Well, where I had first seen Lilian gazing up at the sky!
Mrs. Poyntz had, as we walked, placed her hand on my arm; and, turning abruptly from the path into the glade, I found myself standing by her side in the scene where a new sense of being had first disclosed to my sight the hues with which Love, the passionate beautifier, turns into purple and gold the gray of the common air. Thus, when romance has ended in sorrow, and the Beautiful fades from the landscape, the trite and positive forms of life, banished for a time, reappear, and deepen our mournful remembrance of the glories they replace. And the Woman of the World, finding how little I was induced to respond to her when she had talked of myself, began to speak, in her habitual clear, ringing accents, of her own social schemes and devices,—
Mrs. Poyntz had, as we walked, placed her hand on my arm; and, turning suddenly from the path into the clearing, I found myself standing beside her in the place where a new awareness had first revealed to me the colors with which Love, the passionate beautifier, transforms the gray of ordinary life into purple and gold. So, when romance ends in sadness, and the beautiful fades from view, the familiar and straightforward aspects of life, momentarily pushed away, come back and intensify our sorrowful memories of the splendor they replace. And the Woman of the World, noticing how little I engaged when she talked about me, began to speak, in her usual clear, ringing voice, about her own social plans and strategies,—
“I shall miss you when you are gone, Allen Fenwick; for though, during the last year or so, all actual intercourse between us has ceased, yet my interest in you gave some occupation to my thoughts when I sat alone,—having lost my main object of ambition in settling my daughter, and having no longer any one in the house with whom I could talk of the future, or for whom I could form a project. It is so wearisome to count the changes which pass within us, that we take interest in the changes that pass without. Poyntz still has his weather-glass; I have no longer my Jane.”
“I’m going to miss you when you're gone, Allen Fenwick. Even though we haven’t really talked in over a year, my interest in you occupied my thoughts when I was alone—having lost my main goal of finding a partner for my daughter and no longer having anyone at home to discuss the future with or make plans for. It's so tiring to keep track of the changes happening within us that we start paying attention to the changes happening around us. Poyntz still has his barometer; I no longer have my Jane.”
“I cannot linger with you on this spot,” said I, impatiently turning back into the path; she followed, treading over fallen leaves. And unheeding my interruption, she thus continued her hard talk,—
“I can't stay here with you,” I said, turning back onto the path impatiently; she followed, stepping on the fallen leaves. Without acknowledging my interruption, she continued her tough conversation,—
“But I am not sick of my mind, as you seem to be of yours; I am only somewhat tired of the little cage in which, since it has been alone, it ruffles its plumes against the flimsy wires that confine it from wider space. I shall take up my home for a time with the new-married couple: they want me. Ashleigh Sumner has come into parliament. He means to attend regularly and work hard, but he does not like Jane to go into the world by herself, and he wishes her to go into the world, because he wants a wife to display his wealth for the improvement of his position. In Ashleigh Sumner’s house I shall have ample scope for my energies, such as they are. I have a curiosity to see the few that perch on the wheels of the State and say, ‘It is we who move the wheels!’ It will amuse me to learn if I can maintain in a capital the authority I have won in a country town; if not, I can but return to my small principality. Wherever I live I must sway, not serve. If I succeed—as I ought, for in Jane’s beauty and Ashleigh’s fortune I have materials for the woof of ambition, wanting which here, I fall asleep over my knitting—if I succeed, there will be enough to occupy the rest of my life. Ashleigh Sumner must be a power; the power will be represented and enjoyed by my child, and created and maintained by me! Allen Fenwick, do as I do. Be world with the world, and it will only be in moments of spleen and chagrin that you will sigh to think that the heart may be void when the mind is full. Confess you envy me while you listen.”
“But I’m not tired of my mind like you seem to be with yours; I’m just a bit fed up with the little cage I’ve been stuck in, where it can only ruffle its feathers against the flimsy wires keeping it from a bigger space. I’m going to stay with the newly married couple for a while; they need me. Ashleigh Sumner has entered parliament. He plans to attend regularly and work hard, but he doesn’t want Jane to go out into the world alone, even though he does want her to, because he wants a wife to show off his wealth and improve his status. In Ashleigh Sumner’s home, I’ll have plenty of room to use my talents, whatever they are. I’m curious to see the few who think they’re the ones turning the wheels of the State. It’ll be interesting to see if I can hold onto the influence I have in a country town in the capital; if not, I can just return to my small kingdom. Wherever I am, I need to lead, not follow. If I succeed—as I should, since I have Jane’s beauty and Ashleigh’s wealth to work with—if I succeed, there will be more than enough to keep me busy for the rest of my life. Ashleigh Sumner has to be a powerful figure; that power will be represented by my child and created and maintained by me! Allen Fenwick, do what I do. Engage with the world, and it’ll only be in moments of gloom and disappointment that you’ll feel sad thinking that the heart can be empty when the mind is full. Admit it, you envy me while you listen.”
“Not so; all that to you seems so great appears to me so small! Nature alone is always grand, in her terrors as well as her charms. The World for you, Nature for me. Farewell!”
“Not at all; everything that seems so amazing to you looks so insignificant to me! Nature alone is always impressive, with both her fears and her beauty. The world for you, nature for me. Goodbye!”
“Nature!” said Mrs. Poyntz, compassionately. “Poor Allen Fenwick! Nature indeed,—intellectual suicide! Nay, shake hands, then, if for the last time.”
“Nature!” said Mrs. Poyntz, sympathetically. “Poor Allen Fenwick! Nature, really—intellectual suicide! Well, let's shake hands, then, if for the last time.”
So we shook hands and parted, where the wicket-gate and the stone stairs separated my blighted fairy-land from the common thoroughfare.
So we shook hands and went our separate ways, where the small gate and the stone steps divided my ruined fairy-tale world from the busy street.
CHAPTER LXVIII.
That night as I was employed in collecting the books and manuscripts which I proposed to take with me, including my long-suspended physiological work, and such standard authorities as I might want to consult or refer to in the portions yet incompleted, my servant entered to inform me, in answer to the inquiries I had sent him to make, that Miss Brabazon had peacefully breathed her last an hour before. Well! my pardon had perhaps soothed her last moments; but how unavailing her death-bed repentance to undo the wrong she had done!
That night, while I was busy gathering the books and manuscripts I planned to take with me, including my long-delayed physiological work and some standard references I might need for the unfinished sections, my servant came in to tell me, in response to my earlier inquiries, that Miss Brabazon had peacefully passed away an hour ago. Well! Maybe my forgiveness had eased her final moments, but how pointless her deathbed repentance was to fix the harm she had caused!
I turned from that thought, and, glancing at the work into which I had thrown all my learning, methodized into system with all my art, I recalled the pity which Mrs. Poyntz had expressed for my meditated waste of mind. The tone of superiority which this incarnation of common-sense accompanied by uncommon will assumed over all that was too deep or too high for her comprehension had sometimes amused me; thinking over it now, it piqued. I said to myself, “After all, I shall bear with me such solace as intellectual occupation can afford. I shall have leisure to complete this labour; and a record that I have lived and thought may outlast all the honours which worldly ambition may bestow upon Ashleigh Summer!” And, as I so murmured, my hand, mechanically selecting the books I needed, fell on the Bible that Julius Faber had given to me.
I turned away from that thought and, glancing at the work I had poured all my learning into, meticulously organized with all my effort, I remembered the pity Mrs. Poyntz had shown for my intended waste of intellect. The arrogance that this embodiment of common sense paired with extraordinary determination displayed towards anything too profound or lofty for her understanding had sometimes amused me; reflecting on it now, it annoyed me. I said to myself, “In the end, I will carry with me the solace that intellectual pursuits can provide. I will have the time to finish this work, and a record of my life and thoughts may outlive all the honors that worldly ambition can offer Ashleigh Summer!” And as I muttered this, my hand, instinctively reaching for the books I needed, landed on the Bible that Julius Faber had given me.
It opened at the Second Book of Esdras, which our Church places amongst the Apocrypha, and is generally considered by scholars to have been written in the first or second century of the Christian era,(1)—but in which the questions raised by man in the remotest ages, to which we can trace back his desire “to comprehend the ways of the Most High,” are invested with a grandeur of thought and sublimity of word to which I know of no parallel in writers we call profane.
It began with the Second Book of Esdras, which our Church includes in the Apocrypha, and is typically thought by scholars to have been written in the first or second century of the Christian era,(1)—but in which the questions raised by humanity in the distant past, reflecting our urge “to understand the ways of the Most High,” are presented with a depth of thought and a beauty of language that I know of no equivalent to in what we refer to as secular writings.
My eye fell on this passage in the lofty argument between the Angel whose name was Uriel, and the Prophet, perplexed by his own cravings for knowledge:—
My attention was drawn to this part of the high debate between the Angel named Uriel and the Prophet, who was troubled by his own desires for knowledge:—
“He (the Angel) answered me, and said, I went into a forest, into a plain, and the trees took counsel, “And said, Come, let us go and make war against the sea, that it may depart away before us, and that we may make us more woods. “The floods of the sea also in like manner took counsel, and said, Come, let us go up and subdue the woods of the plain, that there also we may make us another country. “The thought of the wood was in vain, for the fire came and consumed it. “The thought of the floods of the sea came likewise to nought, for the sand stood up and stopped them. “If thou wert judge now betwixt these two, whom wouldst thou begin to justify; or whom wouldst thou condemn? “I answered and said, Verily it is a foolish thought that they both have devised; for the ground is given unto the wood, and the sea also hath his place to bear his floods. “Then answered he me, and said, Thou hast given a right judgment; but why judgest thou not thyself also? “For like as the ground is given unto the wood, and the sea to his floods, even so they that dwell upon the earth may understand nothing but that which is upon the earth; and He that dwelleth above the heavens may only understand the things that are above the height of the heavens.”
“He (the Angel) answered me and said, I went into a forest, into a plain, and the trees consulted each other, “And said, Come, let’s go and make war against the sea, so it will retreat before us, and we can create more woods. “The floods of the sea also consulted together and said, Come, let’s go up and conquer the woods of the plain, so we can create another country there as well. “The wood’s plan was in vain, for the fire came and consumed it. “The floods of the sea's plan also came to nothing because the sand rose up and stopped them. “If you were to judge now between these two, whom would you start to justify, and whom would you condemn? “I answered and said, Truly, it’s a foolish plan that both have devised; for the ground is given to the wood, and the sea has its place for its floods. “Then he answered me and said, You have given a fair judgment; but why do you not judge yourself as well? “For just as the ground is given to the wood and the sea to its floods, so those who dwell on the earth may only understand what is on the earth; and He who dwells above the heavens can only understand the things that are above the height of the heavens.”
I paused at those words, and, closing the Sacred Volume, fell into deep, unquiet thought.
I stopped at those words, and, closing the Holy Book, fell into deep, restless thought.
(1) Such is the supposition of Jahn. Dr. Lee, however, is of opinion that the author was contemporary, and, indeed, identical, with the author of the Book of Enoch.
(1) This is Jahn's assumption. However, Dr. Lee believes that the author was a contemporary of and actually the same person as the author of the Book of Enoch.
CHAPTER LXIX.
I had hoped that the voyage would produce some beneficial effect upon Lilian; but no effect, good or bad, was perceptible, except, perhaps, a deeper silence, a gentler calm. She loved to sit on the deck when the nights were fair, and the stars mirrored on the deep. And once thus, as I stood beside her, bending over the rail of the vessel, and gazing on the long wake of light which the moon made amidst the darkness of an ocean to which no shore could be seen, I said to myself, “Where is my track of light through the measureless future? Would that I could believe as I did when a child! Woe is me, that all the reasonings I take from my knowledge should lead me away from the comfort which the peasant who mourns finds in faith! Why should riddles so dark have been thrust upon me,—me, no fond child of fancy; me, sober pupil of schools the severest? Yet what marvel—the strangest my senses have witnessed or feigned in the fraud they have palmed on me—is greater than that by which a simple affection, that all men profess to have known, has changed the courses of life prearranged by my hopes and confirmed by my judgment? How calmly before I knew love I have anatomized its mechanism, as the tyro who dissects the web-work of tissues and nerves in the dead! Lo! it lives, lives in me; and, in living, escapes from my scalpel, and mocks all my knowledge. Can love be reduced to the realm of the senses? No; what nun is more barred by her grate from the realm of the senses than my bride by her solemn affliction? Is love, then, the union of kindred, harmonious minds? No, my beloved one sits by my side, and I guess not her thoughts, and my mind is to her a sealed fountain. Yet I love her more—oh, ineffably more!—for the doom which destroys the two causes philosophy assigns to love—in the form, in the mind! How can I now, in my vain physiology, say what is love, what is not? Is it love which must tell me that man has a soul, and that in soul will be found the solution of problems never to be solved in body or mind alone?”
I had hoped the journey would have a positive impact on Lilian, but I noticed no change, good or bad, except maybe a deeper silence and a softer calm. She loved to sit on the deck when the nights were clear, with the stars reflected on the water. One night, as I stood beside her, leaning over the rail of the ship and watching the long trail of light the moon created in the darkness of an ocean with no visible shore, I thought to myself, “Where is my path of light through the endless future? I wish I could believe like I did as a child! It's a pity that all the reasoning I've gained from my knowledge pulls me away from the comfort that the mourning peasant finds in faith! Why have such dark riddles been thrown at me—me, who's no fanciful child; me, a serious student of the strictest schools? Yet what could be more astonishing—the strangest thing my senses have witnessed or imagined—is that a simple affection, which all claim to have experienced, has altered the course of my life that I had planned based on my hopes and confirmed by my judgment? How calmly I analyzed the mechanism of love before I knew it, like a novice dissecting the web of tissues and nerves in a dead body! Look! It lives, lives within me; and, in living, it slips away from my scalpel and mocks all my understanding. Can love be reduced to mere physical sensations? No; what nun is more separated from the physical world than my bride by her solemn sorrow? Is love then the union of similar, harmonious minds? No, my beloved sits beside me, and I cannot guess her thoughts, and my mind is to her a locked well. Yet I love her more—oh, infinitely more!—because the fate that undermines the two causes that philosophy attributes to love—in appearance, in the mind! How can I now, in my futile study of physiology, define what love is, and what it isn’t? Is it love that must tell me that man has a soul, and that in the soul lies the answer to problems that can never be solved by body or mind alone?”
My self-questionings halted here as Lilian’s hand touched my shoulder. She had risen from her seat, and had come to me.
My self-doubts stopped when Lilian touched my shoulder. She had gotten up from her seat and come over to me.
“Are not the stars very far from earth?” she said.
“Are the stars really far from Earth?” she asked.
“Very far.”
"Really far."
“Are they seen for the first time to-night?”
“Are they being seen for the first time tonight?”
“They were seen, I presume, as we see them, by the fathers of all human races!”
“They were seen, I guess, just like we see them, by the ancestors of all human races!”
“Yet close below us they shine reflected in the waters; and yet, see, wave flows on wave before we can count it!”
“Yet just below us, they shine reflected in the water; and look, wave after wave rolls on before we can even count them!”
“Lilian, by what sympathy do you read and answer my thought?”
“Lilian, how do you resonate with my thoughts and respond to them?”
Her reply was incoherent and meaningless. If a gleam of intelligence had mysteriously lighted my heart to her view, it was gone. But drawing her nearer towards me, my eye long followed wistfully the path of light, dividing the darkness on either hand, till it closed in the sloping horizon.
Her response was confusing and pointless. If a spark of understanding had somehow illuminated my heart with her perspective, it was gone. But as I drew her closer to me, my gaze longingly followed the beam of light that split the darkness on both sides until it vanished into the sloping horizon.
CHAPTER LXX.
The voyage is over. At the seaport at which we landed I found a letter from Faber. My instructions had reached him in time to effect the purchase on which his descriptions had fixed my desire. The stock, the implements of husbandry, the furniture of the house, were included in the purchase. All was prepared for my arrival, and I hastened from the then miserable village, which may some day rise into one of the mightiest capitals of the world, to my lodge in the wilderness.
The journey is complete. When we arrived at the port, I found a letter from Faber. My instructions had reached him just in time for him to make the purchase that had sparked my interest. The livestock, the farming tools, and the house furniture were all part of the deal. Everything was ready for me when I got there, and I quickly left the then-pitiful village, which could one day become one of the greatest capitals in the world, for my cabin in the wild.
It was the burst of the Australian spring, which commences in our autumn month of October. The air was loaded with the perfume of the acacias. Amidst the glades of the open forest land, or climbing the craggy banks of winding silvery creeks,(1) creepers and flowers of dazzling hue contrasted the olive-green of the surrounding foliage. The exhilarating effect of the climate in that season heightens the charm of the strange scenery. In the brilliancy of the sky, in the lightness of the atmosphere, the sense of life is wondrously quickened. With the very breath the Adventurer draws in from the racy air, he feels as if inhaling hope.
It was the start of the Australian spring, which begins in our autumn month of October. The air was filled with the scent of the acacias. In the glades of the open forest land, or climbing the rocky banks of winding silvery creeks,(1) vines and flowers of bright colors stood out against the olive-green of the surrounding leaves. The refreshing effect of the climate during this season enhances the beauty of the unusual landscape. In the brightness of the sky and the lightness of the atmosphere, the feeling of life is incredibly invigorated. With every breath the Adventurer takes from the energized air, he feels like he’s breathing in hope.
We have reached our home, we are settled in it; the early unfamiliar impressions are worn away. We have learned to dispense with much that we at first missed, and are reconciled to much that at first disappointed or displeased.
We have come home, and we're comfortable here now; the initial unfamiliar feelings have faded. We've figured out how to do without a lot of things we initially missed, and we've accepted many things that used to disappoint or annoy us.
The house is built but of logs; the late proprietor had commenced, upon a rising ground, a mile distant, a more imposing edifice of stone, but it is not half finished.
The house is made of logs; the previous owner had started on a more impressive stone building on a hill, a mile away, but it’s only half done.
This log-house is commodious, and much has been done, within and without, to conceal or adorn its primitive rudeness. It is of irregular, picturesque form, with verandas round three sides of it, to which the grape-vine has been trained, with glossy leaves that clamber up to the gable roof. There is a large garden in front, in which many English fruit-trees have been set, and grow fast amongst the plants of the tropics and the orange-trees of Southern Europe. Beyond stretch undulous pastures, studded not only with sheep, but with herds of cattle, which my speculative predecessor had bred from parents of famous stock, and imported from England at mighty cost; but as yet the herds had been of little profit, and they range their luxuriant expanse of pasture with as little heed. To the left soar up, in long range, the many-coloured hills; to the right meanders a creek, belted by feathery trees; and on its opposite bank a forest opens, through frequent breaks, into park-like glades and alleys. The territory, of which I so suddenly find myself the lord, is vast, even for a colonial capitalist.
This log house is spacious, and a lot has been done, both inside and out, to hide or enhance its basic roughness. It has a unique, charming shape, with verandas on three sides, where grapevines have been trained to grow, their glossy leaves climbing up to the gable roof. There's a large garden in front with many English fruit trees thriving alongside tropical plants and the orange trees from Southern Europe. Beyond that, rolling pastures stretch out, dotted not only with sheep but also herds of cattle, which my ambitious predecessor bred from well-known stock imported from England at great expense; however, the herds haven't brought much profit yet, grazing freely across their lush pasture without much care. To the left, the colorful hills rise in the distance; to the right, a creek winds its way through feathery trees; and on its opposite bank, a forest opens up, revealing park-like clearings and paths. The land that I unexpectedly find myself owning is vast, even for a colonial investor.
It had been originally purchased as “a special survey,” comprising twenty thousand acres, with the privilege of pasture over forty thousand more. In very little of this land, though it includes some of the most fertile districts in the known world, has cultivation been even commenced. At the time I entered into possession, even sheep were barely profitable; labour was scarce and costly. Regarded as a speculation, I could not wonder that my predecessor fled in fear from his domain. Had I invested the bulk of my capital in this lordly purchase, I should have deemed myself a ruined man; but a villa near London, with a hundred acres, would have cost me as much to buy, and thrice as much to keep up. I could afford the investment I had made. I found a Scotch bailiff already on the estate, and I was contented to escape from rural occupations, to which I brought no experience, by making it worth his while to serve me with zeal. Two domestics of my own, and two who had been for many years with Mrs. Ashleigh, had accompanied us: they remained faithful and seemed contented. So the clockwork of our mere household arrangements went on much the same as in our native home. Lilian was not subjected to the ordinary privations and discomforts that await the wife even of the wealthy emigrant. Alas! would she have heeded them if she had been?
It was originally bought as “a special survey,” covering twenty thousand acres, with the right to pasture over forty thousand more. Very little of this land, even though it includes some of the most fertile areas in the world, has even seen the start of cultivation. When I took over, even sheep were barely making a profit; labor was hard to find and expensive. I could understand why my predecessor ran away from his land if he saw it as a gamble. If I had poured most of my money into this grand purchase, I would have considered myself done for; but a villa near London, with a hundred acres, would have cost me the same to buy and three times as much to maintain. I could manage the investment I made. I found a Scottish bailiff already working on the estate, and I was happy to steer clear of rural tasks, which I had no experience in, by incentivizing him to work for me with enthusiasm. Two of my own servants and two who had been with Mrs. Ashleigh for many years came with us: they remained loyal and seemed satisfied. So the routine of our household continued much like it had back home. Lilian was not subjected to the usual hardships and discomforts that the wife of even a wealthy emigrant might face. Alas! would she have noticed them if she had?
The change of scene wrought a decided change for the better in her health and spirits, but not such as implied a dawn of reviving reason. But her countenance was now more rarely overcast. Its usual aspect was glad with a soft mysterious smile. She would murmur snatches of songs, that were partly borrowed from English poets, and partly glided away into what seemed spontaneous additions of her own,—wanting intelligible meaning, but never melody nor rhyme. Strange, that memory and imitation—the two earliest parents of all inventive knowledge—should still be so active, and judgment—the after faculty, that combines the rest into purpose and method—be annulled!
The change of scenery brought a noticeable improvement in her health and mood, but it didn’t signal the return of clear thinking. Her face was now less often clouded. Most of the time, it was bright with a gentle, mysterious smile. She would softly sing snippets of songs, some borrowed from English poets and some that seemed to be spontaneous additions of her own—lacking clear meaning but always filled with melody and rhyme. It's strange that memory and imitation—the two earliest sources of all creative knowledge—should remain so active, while judgment—the later ability that organizes everything into purpose and method—seems to be absent!
Julius Faber I see continually, though his residence is a few miles distant. He is sanguine as to Lilian’s ultimate recovery; and, to my amazement and to my envy, he has contrived, by some art which I cannot attain, to establish between her and himself intelligible communion. She comprehends his questions, when mine, though the simplest, seem to her in unknown language; and he construes into sense her words, that to me are meaningless riddles.
Julius Faber is someone I see regularly, even though he lives a few miles away. He is optimistic about Lilian's eventual recovery; and, to my surprise and envy, he has managed, through some skill I can’t seem to master, to create a clear connection between her and himself. She understands his questions, while mine, even the easiest ones, feel like a foreign language to her; and he makes sense of her words, which for me are just confusing puzzles.
“I was right,” he said to me one day, leaving her seated in the garden beside her quiet, patient mother, and joining me where I lay—listless yet fretful—under the shadeless gum-trees, gazing not on the flocks and fields that I could call my own, but on the far mountain range, from which the arch of the horizon seemed to spring,—“I was right,” said the great physician; “this is reason suspended, not reason lost. Your wife will recover; but—”
“I was right,” he told me one day, leaving her sitting in the garden next to her calm, patient mother, and coming over to where I was lying—both unbothered yet anxious—under the bare gum trees, not looking at the flocks and fields I could call my own, but at the distant mountain range, from which the curve of the horizon seemed to rise. “I was right,” said the great doctor; “this is reason paused, not reason gone. Your wife will get better; but—”
“But what?”
“But why?”
“Give me your arm as I walk homeward, and I will tell you the conclusion to which I have come.”
“Give me your arm as I walk home, and I’ll share my conclusion with you.”
I rose, the old man leaned on me, and we went down the valley along the craggy ridges of the winding creek. The woodland on the opposite bank was vocal with the chirp and croak and chatter of Australian birds,—all mirthful, all songless, save that sweetest of warblers, which some early irreverent emigrant degraded to the name of magpie, but whose note is sweeter than the nightingale’s, and trills through the lucent air with a distinct ecstatic melody of joy that dominates all the discords, so ravishing the sense, that, while it sings, the ear scarcely heeds the scream of the parrots.
I got up, the old man leaned on me, and we walked down the valley along the jagged edges of the winding creek. The forest on the other bank was alive with the chirping, croaking, and chattering of Australian birds—all cheerful, all silent in song except for that sweetest of singers that some early disrespectful settler named the magpie, whose song is sweeter than a nightingale's and trills through the clear air with a distinct, ecstatic melody of joy that overpowers all the noise, so enchanting to the senses that, while it sings, the ear hardly notices the screech of the parrots.
(1) Creek is the name given by Australian colonists to precarious water Courses and tributary streams.
(1) Creek is the term used by Australian colonists for unstable water channels and smaller streams.
CHAPTER LXXI.
“You may remember,” said Julius Faber, “Sir Humphry Davy’s eloquent description of the effect produced on him by the inhalation of nitrous oxide. He states that he began to lose the perception of external things; trains of vivid visible images rapidly passed through his mind, and were connected with words in such a manner as to produce perceptions perfectly novel. ‘I existed,’ he said, ‘in a world of newly-connected and newly-modified ideas.’ When he recovered, he exclaimed: ‘Nothing exists but thoughts; the universe is composed of impressions, ideas, pleasures, and pains!’
“You might remember,” said Julius Faber, “Sir Humphry Davy’s powerful description of how inhaling nitrous oxide affected him. He mentions that he started to lose track of the outside world; vivid images quickly flashed through his mind, connecting with words in ways that led to totally new perceptions. ‘I existed,’ he said, ‘in a world of newly-connected and newly-modified ideas.’ When he came back to reality, he exclaimed: ‘Nothing exists except thoughts; the universe is made up of impressions, ideas, pleasures, and pains!’”
“Now observe, that thus a cultivator of positive science, endowed with one of the healthiest of human brains, is, by the inhalation of a gas, abstracted from all external life,—enters into a new world, which consists of images he himself creates and animates so vividly that, on waking, he resolves the universe itself into thoughts.”
“Now notice that a cultivator of positive science, equipped with one of the healthiest human brains, is, by breathing in a gas, pulled away from all external life—entering a new world made up of images he creates himself and brings to life so vividly that, upon waking, he turns the entire universe into thoughts.”
“Well,” said I, “but what inference do you draw from that voluntary experiment, applicable to the malady of which you bid me hope the cure?”
“Well,” I said, “what conclusions do you draw from that voluntary experiment related to the illness you’re suggesting I hope for a cure?”
“Simply this: that the effect produced on a healthful brain by the nitrous oxide may be produced also by moral causes operating on the blood, or on the nerves. There is a degree of mental excitement in which ideas are more vivid than sensations, and then the world of external things gives way to the world within the brain.(1) But this, though a suspension of that reason which comprehends accuracy of judgment, is no more a permanent aberration of reason than were Sir Humphry Davy’s visionary ecstasies under the influence of the gas. The difference between the two states of suspension is that of time, and it is but an affair of time with our beloved patient. Yet prepare yourself. I fear that the mind will not recover without some critical malady of the body!”
“Simply put: the effect that nitrous oxide has on a healthy brain can also be triggered by emotional factors affecting the blood or nerves. There’s a level of mental excitement where ideas feel more intense than physical sensations, leading the external world to fade away, leaving only the inner world of the mind. However, this, while it temporarily suspends reason and clear judgment, is not a lasting lapse in reasoning any more than Sir Humphry Davy’s vivid visions while under the influence of the gas. The only difference between these two states of suspension is how long they last, and it’s only a matter of time for our dear patient. But brace yourself. I’m worried that the mind won’t heal without some serious physical illness!”
“Critical! but not dangerous?—say not dangerous! I can endure the pause of her reason; I could not endure the void in the universe if her life were to fade from the earth.”
“Critical! but not dangerous?—don’t say it’s not dangerous! I can handle the pause of her mind; I couldn’t handle the emptiness in the universe if her life were to disappear from the earth.”
“Poor friend! would not you yourself rather lose life than reason?”
"Poor friend! Wouldn't you rather lose your life than your mind?"
“I—yes! But we men are taught to set cheap value on our own lives; we do not estimate at the same rate the lives of those we love. Did we do so, Humanity would lose its virtues.”
“I—yes! But we men are taught to undervalue our own lives; we don’t assess the lives of those we love at the same level. If we did, humanity would lose its virtues.”
“What, then! Love teaches that there is something of nobler value than mere mind? Yet surely it cannot be the mere body? What is it, if not that continuance of being which your philosophy declines to acknowledge,—namely, soul? If you fear so painfully that your Lilian should die, is it not that you fear to lose her forever?”
“What, then! Love teaches that there’s something more valuable than just the mind? But it can’t just be the body, right? What is it, if not that ongoing existence that your philosophy refuses to recognize—namely, the soul? If you’re so afraid that Lilian might die, isn’t it really that you’re afraid of losing her forever?”
“Oh, cease, cease!” I cried impatiently. “I cannot now argue on metaphysics. What is it that you anticipate of harm to her life? Her health has been stronger ever since her affliction. She never seems to know ailment now. Do you not perceive that her cheek has a more hardy bloom, her frame a more rounded symmetry, than when you saw her in England?”
“Oh, stop, stop!” I exclaimed, feeling frustrated. “I can’t discuss metaphysics right now. What harm do you think she’s in? Her health has been better since her illness. She hardly seems to get sick anymore. Don’t you notice that her cheeks have a healthier glow and her body looks more vibrant than when you last saw her in England?”
“Unquestionably. Her physical forces have been silently recruiting themselves in the dreams which half lull, half amuse her imagination. Imagination! that faculty, the most glorious which is bestowed on the human mind, because it is the faculty which enables thought to create, is of all others the most exhausting to life when unduly stimulated and consciously reasoning on its own creations. I think it probable that had this sorrow not befallen you, you would have known a sorrow yet graver,—you would have long survived your Lilian. As it is now, when she recovers, her whole organization, physical and mental, will have undergone a beneficent change. But, I repeat my prediction,—some severe malady of the body will precede the restoration of the mind; and it is my hope that the present suspense or aberration of the more wearing powers of the mind may fit the body to endure and surmount the physical crisis. I remember a case, within my own professional experience, in many respects similar to this, but in other respects it was less hopeful. I was consulted by a young student of a very delicate physical frame, of great mental energies, and consumed by an intense ambition. He was reading for university honours. He would not listen to me when I entreated him to rest his mind. I thought that he was certain to obtain the distinction for which he toiled, and equally certain to die a few months after obtaining it. He falsified both my prognostics. He so overworked himself that, on the day of examination, his nerves were agitated, his memory failed him; he passed, not without a certain credit, but fell far short of the rank amongst his fellow competitors to which he aspired. Here, then, the irritated mind acted on the disappointed heart, and raised a new train of emotions. He was first visited by spectral illusions; then he sank into a state in which the external world seemed quite blotted out. He heeded nothing that was said to him; seemed to see nothing that was placed before his eyes,—in a word, sensations became dormant, ideas preconceived usurped their place, and those ideas gave him pleasure. He believed that his genius was recognized, and lived amongst its supposed creations enjoying an imaginary fame. So it went on for two years, during which suspense of his reason, his frail form became robust and vigorous. At the end of that time he was seized with a fever, which would have swept him in three days to the grave had it occurred when I was first called in to attend him. He conquered the fever, and, in recovering, acquired the full possession of the intellectual faculties so long suspended. When I last saw him, many years afterwards, he was in perfect health, and the object of his young ambition was realized; the body had supported the mind,—he had achieved distinction. Now what had so, for a time, laid this strong intellect into visionary sleep? The most agonizing of human emotions in a noble spirit,—shame! What has so stricken down your Lilian? You have told me the story: shame!—the shame of a nature pre-eminently pure. But observe that, in his case as in hers, the shock inflicted does not produce a succession of painful illusions: on the contrary, in both, the illusions are generally pleasing. Had the illusions been painful, the body would have suffered, the patient died. Why did a painful shock produce pleasing illusions? Because, no matter how a shock on the nerves may originate, if it affects the reason, it does but make more vivid than impressions from actual external objects the ideas previously most cherished. Such ideas in the young student were ideas of earthly fame; such ideas in the young maiden are ideas of angel comforters and heavenly Edens. You miss her mind on the earth, and, while we speak, it is in paradise.”
“Absolutely. Her physical strength has been quietly building up in the dreams that both soothe and entertain her imagination. Imagination! That amazing ability that humans have, as it allows thoughts to create, is also one of the most draining aspects of life when overstimulated and when it becomes self-reflective. I believe that if this sorrow hadn’t struck you, you would have experienced an even greater sorrow—you would have outlived your Lilian by a long shot. As it stands now, when she recovers, her entire being, both physically and mentally, will have gone through a positive transformation. Still, I stand by my prediction—some serious physical illness will come before the healing of her mind; and I hope that this current state of uncertainty or mental strain will prepare her body to endure and overcome the upcoming physical challenge. I recall a situation from my own professional experience that was somewhat similar, yet in some ways less hopeful. A young student, physically fragile but mentally powerful and driven by a fierce ambition, sought my advice. He was studying for university honors. Despite my pleas for him to take a break, he refused to listen. I believed he was destined to achieve the accolades he was working for but would likely die a few months afterward. He proved both my predictions wrong. He worked himself so hard that, on exam day, his nerves were on edge, and his memory failed him; he passed with some credit, but fell far short of the rank he desired among his peers. Here, then, the troubled mind affected the hurting heart, igniting a new wave of emotions. He first experienced hallucinatory visions; then he fell into a state where the outside world seemed completely erased. He didn’t respond to anything said to him; he appeared not to see anything placed in front of him—in short, sensations became dull, and preconceived ideas took their place, and those ideas brought him joy. He thought his talent was acknowledged and lived among its imagined creations, relishing a false sense of fame. This continued for two years, during which time his reasoning suspended, his frail body grew strong and healthy. Eventually, he was struck by a fever that could have taken his life in three days had I been called in sooner. He overcame the fever and, upon recovering, regained full use of the intellectual capabilities he had long lost. When I last saw him many years later, he was in perfect health, with his youthful ambitions fulfilled; his body had supported his mind—he had achieved greatness. So, what caused this sharp mind to fall into such a dreamy slumber for a time? The deepest of human emotions for a noble soul—shame! What has so deeply affected your Lilian? You’ve shared the story with me: shame!—the shame of a nature that is inherently pure. But note that, in both cases, the shock experienced did not lead to a series of painful illusions: instead, in both situations, the illusions were generally pleasant. If the illusions had been painful, the body would have suffered, and the patient would have died. Why would a painful shock result in pleasurable illusions? Because, regardless of how a shock affects the nerves, if it impacts the mind, it simply enhances the previously cherished ideas more vividly than perceptions from real external objects. For the young student, those cherished ideas were about earthly fame; for the young woman, they are about angelic comforters and heavenly paradises. You miss her mind on this earth, and as we speak, it resides in paradise.”
“Much that you say, my friend, is authorized by the speculations of great writers, with whom I am not unfamiliar; but in none of those writers, nor in your encouraging words, do I find a solution for much that has no precedents in my experience,—much, indeed, that has analogies in my reading, but analogies which I have hitherto despised as old wives’ fables. I have bared to your searching eye the weird mysteries of my life. How do you account for facts which you cannot resolve into illusions,—for the influence which that strange being, Margrave, exercised over Lilian’s mind or fancy, so that for a time her love for me was as dormant as is her reason now; so that he could draw her—her whose nature you admit to be singularly pure and modest—from her mother’s home? The magic wand; the trance into which that wand threw Margrave himself; the apparition which it conjured up in my own quiet chamber when my mind was without a care and my health without a flaw,—how account for all this: as you endeavoured, and perhaps successfully, to account for all my impressions of the Vision in the Museum, of the luminous, haunting shadow in its earlier apparitions, when my fancy was heated, my heart tormented, and, it might be, even the physical forces of this strong frame disordered?”
“Much of what you say, my friend, is backed by the ideas of great writers, with whom I’m familiar; but in none of those writers, nor in your encouraging words, do I find an answer for things that have no precedent in my experience—many things, indeed, that have similarities in my reading, but similarities I have previously dismissed as old wives’ tales. I have exposed to your probing gaze the strange mysteries of my life. How do you explain facts that you can’t dismiss as illusions—like the influence that that peculiar person, Margrave, had over Lilian’s mind or imagination, so that for a time her love for me was as dormant as her reason is now; so that he could lead her—her, whom you admit has a remarkably pure and modest nature—away from her mother’s home? The magic wand; the trance into which that wand put Margrave himself; the apparition it summoned in my own quiet room when my mind was carefree and my health was perfect—how do you explain all this, as you tried, and perhaps successfully, to explain all my impressions of the Vision in the Museum, of the glowing, haunting shadow in its earlier appearances, when my imagination was fired, my heart troubled, and, perhaps, even the physical strength of this strong body was thrown into turmoil?”
“Allen,” said the old pathologist, “here we approach a ground which few physicians have dared to examine. Honour to those who, like our bold contemporary, Elliotson, have braved scoff and sacrificed dross in seeking to extract what is practical in uses, what can be tested by experiment, from those exceptional phenomena on which magic sought to found a philosophy, and to which philosophy tracks the origin of magic.”
“Allen,” said the old pathologist, “we're about to explore territory that few doctors have had the courage to investigate. Let's give credit to those who, like our brave contemporary, Elliotson, have faced ridicule and given up trivial things in their quest to uncover what is practical and can be tested through experiments from those unusual phenomena that magic tried to base a philosophy on, and which philosophy traces back to the origins of magic.”
“What! do I understand you? Is it you, Julius Faber, who attach faith to the wonders attributed to animal magnetism and electro-biology, or subscribe to the doctrines which their practitioners teach?”
“What! Am I understanding you correctly? Is it you, Julius Faber, who believes in the wonders claimed by animal magnetism and electro-biology, or do you support the teachings of their practitioners?”
“I have not examined into those doctrines, nor seen with my own eyes the wonders recorded, upon evidence too respectable, nevertheless, to permit me peremptorily to deny what I have not witnessed.(2) But wherever I look through the History of Mankind in all ages and all races, I find a concurrence in certain beliefs which seem to countenance the theory that there is in some peculiar and rare temperaments a power over forms of animated organization, with which they establish some unaccountable affinity; and even, though much more rarely, a power over inanimate matter. You are familiar with the theory of Descartes, ‘that those particles of the blood which penetrate to the brain do not only serve to nourish and sustain its substance, but to produce there a certain very subtle Aura, or rather a flame very vivid and pure, that obtains the name of the Animal Spirits;’ (3) and at the close of his great fragment upon Man, he asserts that ‘this flame is of no other nature than all the fires which are in inanimate bodies.‘(4) This notion does but forestall the more recent doctrine that electricity is more or less in all, or nearly all, known matter. Now, whether in the electric fluid or some other fluid akin to it of which we know still less, thus equally pervading all matter, there may be a certain magnetic property more active, more operative upon sympathy in some human constitutions than in others, and which can account for the mysterious power I have spoken of, is a query I might suggest, but not an opinion I would hazard. For an opinion I must have that basis of experience or authority which I do not need when I submit a query to the experience and authority of others. Still, the supposition conveyed in the query is so far worthy of notice, that the ecstatic temperament (in which phrase I comprehend all constitutional mystics) is peculiarly sensitive to electric atmospheric influences. This is a fact which most medical observers will have remarked in the range of their practice. Accordingly, I was prepared to find Mr. Hare Townshend, in his interesting work,(5) state that he himself was of ‘the electric temperament,’ sparks flying from his hair when combed in the dark, etc. That accomplished writer, whose veracity no one would impugn, affirms that between this electrical endowment and whatever mesmeric properties he might possess, there is a remarkable relationship and parallelism. Whatever state of the atmosphere tends to accumulate and insulate electricity in the body, promotes equally’ (says Mr. Townshend) ‘the power and facility with which I influence others mesmerically.’ What Mr. Townshend thus observes in himself, American physicians and professors of chemistry depose to have observed in those modern magicians, the mediums of (so-called) ‘spirit manifestation.’ They state that all such mediums are of the electric temperament, thus everywhere found allied with the ecstatic, and their power varies in proportion as the state of the atmosphere serves to depress or augment the electricity stored in themselves. Here, then, in the midst of vagrant phenomena, either too hastily dismissed as altogether the tricks of fraudful imposture, or too credulously accepted as supernatural portents—here, at least, in one generalized fact, we may, perhaps, find a starting point, from which inductive experiment may arrive, soon or late, at a rational theory. But however the power of which we are speaking (a power accorded to special physical temperament) may or may not be accounted for by some patient student of nature, I am persuaded that it is in that power we are to seek for whatever is not wholly imposture, in the attributes assigned to magic or witchcraft. It is well said, by a writer who has gone into the depth of these subjects with the research of a scholar and the science of a pathologist, ‘that if magic had exclusively reposed on credulity and falsehood, its reign would never have endured so long; but that its art took its origin in singular phenomena, proper to certain affections of the nerves, or manifested in the conditions of sleep. These phenomena, the principle of which was at first unknown, served to root faith in magic, and often abused even enlightened minds. The enchanters and magicians arrived, by divers practices, at the faculty of provoking in other brains a determined order of dreams, of engendering hallucinations of all kinds, of inducing fits of hypnotism, trance, mania, during which the persons so affected imagined that they saw, heard, touched, supernatural beings, conversed with them, proved their influences, assisted at prodigies of which magic proclaimed itself to possess the secret. The public, the enchanters, and the enchanted were equally dupes.‘(6) Accepting this explanation, unintelligible to no physician of a practice so lengthened as mine has been, I draw from it the corollary, that as these phenomena are exhibited only by certain special affections, to which only certain special constitutions are susceptible, so not in any superior faculties of intellect, or of spiritual endowment, but in peculiar physical temperaments, often strangely disordered, the power of the sorcerer in affecting the imagination of others is to be sought. In the native tribes of Australasia the elders are instructed in the arts of this so-called sorcery, but only in a very few constitutions does instruction avail to produce effects in which the savages recognize the powers of a sorcerer: it is so with the Obi of the negroes. The fascination of Obi is an unquestionable fact, but the Obi man cannot be trained by formal lessons; he is born a fascinator, as a poet is born a poet. It is so with the Laplanders, of whom Tornoeus reports that of those instructed in the magical art ‘only a few are capable of it.’ ‘Some,’ he says, ‘are naturally magicians.’ And this fact is emphatically insisted upon by the mystics of our own middle ages, who state that a man must be born a magician; in other words, that the gift is constitutional, though developed by practice and art. Now, that this gift and its practice should principally obtain in imperfect states of civilization, and fade into insignificance in the busy social enlightenment of cities, may be accounted for by reference to the known influences of imagination. In the cruder states of social life not only is imagination more frequently predominant over all other faculties, but it has not the healthful vents which the intellectual competition of cities and civilization affords. The man who in a savage tribe, or in the dark feudal ages, would be a magician, is in our century a poet, an orator, a daring speculator, an inventive philosopher. In other words, his imagination is drawn to pursuits congenial to those amongst whom it works. It is the tendency of all intellect to follow the directions of the public opinion amidst which it is trained. Where a magician is held in reverence or awe, there will be more practitioners of magic than where a magician is despised as an impostor or shut up as a lunatic. In Scandinavia, before the introduction of Christianity, all tradition records the wonderful powers of the Vala, or witch, who was then held in reverence and honour. Christianity was introduced, and the early Church denounced the Vala as the instrument of Satan, and from that moment down dropped the majestic prophetess into a miserable and execrated old hag!”
“I haven't looked into those beliefs or seen the wonders described with my own eyes, but the evidence is too credible to allow me to outright deny what I haven't witnessed. Yet, wherever I examine the history of humanity across all eras and cultures, I discover a common thread in certain beliefs that seems to support the idea that some unique and rare temperaments possess a power over living beings, establishing an inexplicable connection; and even, though much more rarely, a power over non-living matter. You may know Descartes' theory, 'that the blood particles that reach the brain not only nourish and sustain it but also produce a very subtle aura, or rather a vivid and pure flame, known as the Animal Spirits;' and at the end of his significant work on Man, he claims that 'this flame is no different from all the fires found in inanimate bodies.' This idea foreshadows the more recent theory that electricity exists in almost all known matter. Now, whether this electrical fluid or some other similar substance—which we know even less about—permeates everything, and if it has a magnetic quality that operates more actively and effectively in some people than others, which could explain the mysterious power I've mentioned, is a question I can raise but am hesitant to assert. For I need a foundation of experience or authority to form an opinion, which I don't require when I merely ask questions to the experiences and authority of others. Still, the notion implied in the question is worth noting, as those with an ecstatic temperament (a term I use to include all those who are naturally mystical) are especially sensitive to electric atmospheric influences. This is something most medical professionals have likely observed in their practices. Thus, I was not surprised to read in Mr. Hare Townshend's engaging work that he identifies as having 'an electric temperament,' with sparks flying from his hair when combed in the dark, etc. That respected author, whose honesty would not be questioned, asserts a significant link between this electrical trait and whatever mesmeric qualities he claims to have. 'Whatever atmospheric condition accumulates and insulates electricity in the body,' Mr. Townshend says, 'equally enhances my ability to influence others mesmerically.' What Mr. Townshend notes in himself, American doctors and chemistry professors state they have seen in the modern 'mediums' of so-called 'spirit manifestations.' They report that all these mediums share this electric temperament, which is consistently found alongside the ecstatic, and their power fluctuates with the state of the atmosphere, which either reduces or increases the electricity within them. So, here in the midst of wandering phenomena—either too quickly dismissed as mere fraud or too gullibly accepted as supernatural signs—here, at least, in this one generalized fact, we might find a starting point from which future experimental inquiry could eventually lead to a rational theory. However the power we're discussing (a power given to specific physical temperaments) may be explained by some diligent student of nature, I believe that within this power lies the key to understanding whatever is not entirely deceitful in the characteristics attributed to magic or witchcraft. It is well stated by a writer who delves deeply into these topics with scholarly research and pathological science, 'that if magic solely relied on gullibility and deceit, its influence would not have lasted so long; rather, its practice originated from unusual phenomena related to specific nerve conditions or sleep states. These phenomena, initially unknown, fostered belief in magic and often misled even enlightened individuals. Enchanters and magicians learned through various methods to induce specific dream patterns, create all kinds of hallucinations, and trigger hypnotic states, trances, and madness during which the affected individuals felt they saw, heard, and interacted with supernatural beings, experienced their influence, and witnessed wonders that magic claimed to possess the secret to. The public, the enchanters, and the enchanted were all duped.' Accepting this explanation, which is intelligible to any experienced physician like myself, I conclude that these phenomena occur only in special conditions that only specific kinds of individuals can experience; therefore, the power of the sorcerer to influence the imagination of others should be found not in superior intellect or spiritual gifts, but in unusual physical temperaments, often strangely disordered. Among the native tribes of Australasia, elders are trained in the arts of this so-called sorcery, but only in very few cases does such instruction lead to effects recognized by the tribes as sorcery powers—similar to the ways of the Obi among the African tribes. The power of Obi is without question, but the Obi man cannot be taught through formal lessons; he is born a fascinator, just as a poet is born a poet. The same applies to the Laplanders, of whom Tornoeus notes that only a few of those trained in magical arts are actually capable of performing it. 'Some,' he states, 'are naturally magicians.' This fact is strongly emphasized by the mystics of our own Middle Ages, who insisted that one must be born a magician; in other words, the gift is inherent, though developed through practice and skill. Now, the fact that this gift and its practice primarily occur in less developed civilizations and diminish in the bustling intellectual environment of cities can be explained by the known effects of imagination. In the more primitive stages of social life, imagination not only dominates other faculties more frequently but lacks the healthy outlets that urban competition and civilization provide. The person who in a tribal society or in the dark feudal era would be a magician is in our current age a poet, an orator, an adventurous thinker, an innovative philosopher. Put differently, their imagination is drawn toward pursuits that resonate with their surroundings. It's common for intellect to follow the tendencies of public opinion in which it is nurtured. Where magicians are revered or feared, there will be more practitioners of magic than where they are regarded as frauds or locked away as lunatics. In Scandinavia, before Christianity came, all traditions acknowledge the remarkable powers of the Vala, or witch, who was then respected and honored. Once Christianity was introduced, the early Church condemned the Vala as an agent of Satan, and from that moment, the great prophetess was degraded into a miserable and reviled old hag!”
“The ideas you broach,” said I, musingly, “have at moments crossed me, though I have shrunk from reducing them to a theory which is but one of pure hypothesis. But this magic, after all, then, you would place in the imagination of the operator, acting on the imagination of those whom it affects? Here, at least, I can follow you, to a certain extent, for here we get back into the legitimate realm of physiology.”
“The ideas you bring up,” I said thoughtfully, “have occasionally crossed my mind, but I've avoided turning them into a theory that's purely hypothetical. So, you would say this magic exists in the imagination of the person performing it, influencing the imagination of those who are affected? In this case, I can understand you to some degree, because we’re returning to the valid field of physiology.”
“And possibly,” said Faber, “we may find hints to guide us to useful examination, if not to complete solution of problems that, once demonstrated, may lead to discoveries of infinite value,—hints, I say, in two writers of widely opposite genius, Van Helmont and Bacon. Van Helmont, of all the mediaeval mystics, is, in spite of his many extravagant whims, the one whose intellect is the most suggestive to the disciplined reasoners of our day. He supposed that the faculty which he calls Fantasy, and which we familiarly call Imagination,—is invested with the power of creating for itself ideas independent of the senses, each idea clothed in a form fabricated by the imagination, and becoming an operative entity. This notion is so far favoured by modern physiologists, that Lincke reports a case where the eye itself was extirpated; yet the extirpation was followed by the appearance of luminous figures before the orbit. And again, a woman, stone-blind, complained of ‘luminous images, with pale colours, before her eyes.’ Abercrombie mentions the case ‘of a lady quite blind, her eyes being also disorganized and sunk, who never walked out without seeing a little old woman in a red cloak, who seemed to walk before her.‘(7) Your favourite authority, the illustrious Miller, who was himself in the habit of ‘seeing different images in the field of vision when he lay quietly down to sleep, asserts that these images are not merely presented to the fancy, but that even the images of dreams are really seen,’ and that ‘any one may satisfy himself of this by accustoming himself regularly to open his eyes when waking after a dream,—the images seen in the dream are then sometimes visible, and can be observed to disappear gradually.’ He confirms this statement not only by the result of his own experience, but by the observations made by Spinoza, and the yet higher authority of Aristotle, who accounts for spectral appearance as the internal action of the sense of vision.(8) And this opinion is favoured by Sir David Brewster, whose experience leads him to suggest ‘that the objects of mental contemplation may be seen as distinctly as external objects, and will occupy the same local position in the axis of vision as if they had been formed by the agency of light.’ Be this as it may, one fact remains,—that images can be seen even by the blind as distinctly and vividly as you and I now see the stream below our feet and the opossums at play upon yonder boughs. Let us come next to some remarkable suggestions of Lord Bacon. In his Natural History, treating of the force of the imagination, and the help it receives ‘by one man working by another,’ he cites an instance he had witnessed of a kind of juggler, who could tell a person what card he thought of. He mentioned this ‘to a pretended learned man, curious in such things,’ and this sage said to him, ‘It is not the knowledge of the man’s thought, for that is proper to God, but the enforcing of a thought upon him, and binding his imagination by a stronger, so that he could think of no other card.’ You see this sage anticipated our modern electro-biologists! And the learned man then shrewdly asked Lord Bacon, ‘Did the juggler tell the card to the man himself who had thought of it, or bid another tell it?’ ‘He bade another tell it,’ answered Lord Bacon. ‘I thought so,’ returned his learned acquaintance, ‘for the juggler himself could not have put on so strong an imagination; but by telling the card to the other, who believed the juggler was some strange man who could do strange things, that other man caught a strong imagination.‘(9) The whole story is worth reading, because Lord Bacon evidently thinks it conveys a guess worth examining. And Lord Bacon, were he now living, would be the man to solve the mysteries that branch out of mesmerism or (so-called) spiritual manifestation, for he would not pretend to despise their phenomena for fear of hurting his reputation for good sense. Bacon then goes on to state that there are three ways to fortify the imagination. ‘First, authority derived from belief in an art and in the man who exercises it; secondly, means to quicken and corroborate the imagination; thirdly, means to repeat and refresh it.’ For the second and the third he refers to the practices of magic, and proceeds afterwards to state on what things imagination has most force,—‘upon things that have the lightest and easiest motions, and, therefore, above all, upon the spirits of men, and, in them, on such affections as move lightest,—in love, in fear, in irresolution. And,’ adds Bacon, earnestly, in a very different spirit from that which dictates to the sages of our time the philosophy of rejecting without trial that which belongs to the Marvellous,—‘and whatsoever is of this kind, should be thoroughly inquired into.’ And this great founder or renovator of the sober inductive system of investigation even so far leaves it a matter of speculative inquiry, whether imagination may not be so powerful that it can actually operate upon a plant, that he says: ‘This likewise should be made upon plants, and that diligently; as if you should tell a man that such a tree would die this year, and will him, at these and these times, to go unto it and see how it thriveth.’ I presume that no philosopher has followed such recommendations: had some great philosopher done so, possibly we should by this time know all the secrets of what is popularly called witchcraft.”
“And possibly,” said Faber, “we might find clues to help us examine useful ideas, if not fully solve problems that, once clarified, could lead to infinitely valuable discoveries—clues, I say, in two writers of completely opposite mindsets, Van Helmont and Bacon. Van Helmont, of all the medieval mystics, is, despite his many odd beliefs, the one whose intellect is most inspiring to the reasoned thinkers of our time. He believed that what he calls Fantasy, which we generally refer to as Imagination, has the power to create ideas independent of the senses, each idea dressed in a form crafted by the imagination, becoming an active entity. This idea is supported by modern physiologists; for instance, Lincke reports a case where the eye was completely removed, yet this was followed by the appearance of bright figures in front of the empty socket. Moreover, a woman who was totally blind complained of ‘bright images, with pale colors, in front of her eyes.’ Abercrombie mentions the case of a lady who was entirely blind, her eyes also damaged and sunk, who would never go out without seeing a little old woman in a red cloak walking in front of her. Your favorite source, the esteemed Miller, who used to see various images in his field of vision when he lay down to sleep, claims that these images are not just figments of the imagination but that even dream images are genuinely seen, and that ‘anyone can verify this by getting into the habit of opening their eyes upon waking from a dream—the images seen during the dream are sometimes visible then and can be observed gradually fading away.’ He backs this up not only with his own experiences but also by referencing observations from Spinoza and the even greater authority of Aristotle, who explains spectral appearances as internal actions of the sense of sight. This notion is supported by Sir David Brewster, who suggests that ‘the objects of mental contemplation can be seen as clearly as external ones and occupy the same position in the line of sight as if they were formed by light.’ Regardless of this, one fact remains—images can be seen even by the blind as clearly and vividly as you and I see the stream below and the opossums playing on those branches. Now, let’s look at some notable ideas from Lord Bacon. In his Natural History, discussing the power of imagination and the support it gets ‘from one person influencing another,’ he shares an example he witnessed of a juggler who could guess a person’s card. He mentioned this to a so-called learned man, interested in such matters, and this sage said to him, ‘It’s not that he knows the man’s thought—that belongs only to God—but that he imposes a thought on him, binding his imagination so that he can think of no other card.’ You see, this sage anticipated our modern electro-biologists! The learned man then cleverly asked Lord Bacon, ‘Did the juggler tell the card to the person who thought of it, or ask someone else to tell it?’ ‘He asked someone else to tell it,’ answered Lord Bacon. ‘I thought so,’ replied his learned friend, ‘because the juggler couldn’t have planted such a strong thought himself; by telling it to someone else, who believed the juggler was some unusual person capable of strange feats, that person then caught a strong imagination.’ The whole story is worth noting because Lord Bacon clearly thinks it raises an interesting point worth investigating. If Lord Bacon were alive today, he would be the one to unravel the mysteries connected to mesmerism or so-called spiritual manifestations, as he wouldn’t dismiss their phenomena out of fear for his reputation for common sense. Bacon then goes on to say that there are three ways to strengthen the imagination. ‘First, authority that comes from believing in an art and the person who practices it; second, means to enhance and reinforce the imagination; third, methods to repeat and refresh it.’ For the second and third, he references the practices of magic, then adds what kinds of things imagination is most powerful over—‘things that have the lightest and easiest motions, and thus, above all, upon the spirits of men, particularly on such feelings as provoke lightness—in love, in fear, in uncertainty. And,’ Bacon adds earnestly, in a very different spirit than what guides the sages of our time in rejecting without examination what belongs to the Marvelous, ‘and whatever falls into this category should be thoroughly investigated.’ This great pioneer or restorer of the serious inductive system of inquiry even leaves it open for speculation whether imagination can be so powerful that it can actually affect a plant, stating: ‘This should also be pursued with plants, diligently; as if you were to tell a person that a certain tree would die this year, and instruct them, at certain times, to go to it and see how it fares.’ I presume that no philosopher has followed such advice; had a prominent philosopher done so, we might have uncovered all the secrets of what is colloquially known as witchcraft.”
And as Faber here paused, there came a strange laugh from the fantastic she-oak-tree overhanging the stream,—a wild, impish laugh.
And as Faber paused here, a strange laugh emerged from the fantastical she-oak tree hanging over the stream—a wild, mischievous laugh.
“Pooh! it is but the great kingfisher, the laughing-bird of the Australian bush,” said Julius Faber, amused at my start of superstitious alarm.
“Pooh! it’s just the great kingfisher, the laughing bird of the Australian bush,” said Julius Faber, finding my moment of superstitious fear amusing.
We walked on for some minutes in musing silence, and the rude log-hut in which my wise companion had his home came in view,—the flocks grazing on undulous pastures, the lone drinking at a watercourse fringed by the slender gum-trees, and a few fields, laboriously won from the luxuriant grassland, rippling with the wave of corn.
We walked for a few minutes in thoughtful silence, and the rough log cabin where my knowledgeable friend lived came into sight—the sheep grazing on rolling pastures, the solitary animals drinking at a stream lined with slender gum trees, and a few fields, hard-won from the lush grassland, swaying with waves of grain.
I halted, and said, “Rest here for a few moments, till I gather up the conclusions to which your speculative reasoning seems to invite me.”
I stopped and said, “Let’s take a moment to rest here while I figure out the conclusions your speculative reasoning seems to be leading me to.”
We sat down on a rocky crag, half mantled by luxuriant creepers with vermilion buds.
We sat down on a rocky ledge, partially covered by lush vines with bright red buds.
“From the guesses,” said I, “which you have drawn from the erudition of others and your own ingenious and reflective inductions, I collect this solution of the mysteries, by which the experience I gain from my senses confounds all the dogmas approved by my judgment. To the rational conjectures by which, when we first conversed on the marvels that perplexed me, you ascribe to my imagination, predisposed by mental excitement, physical fatigue or derangement, and a concurrence of singular events tending to strengthen such predisposition, the phantasmal impressions produced on my senses,—to these conjectures you now add a new one, more startling and less admitted by sober physiologists. You conceive it possible that persons endowed with a rare and peculiar temperament can so operate on imagination, and, through the imagination, on the senses of others, as to exceed even the powers ascribed to the practitioners of mesmerism and electro-biology, and give a certain foundation of truth to the old tales of magic and witchcraft. You imply that Margrave may be a person thus gifted, and hence the influence he unquestionably exercised over Lilian, and over, perhaps, less innocent agents, charmed or impelled by his will. And not discarding, as I own I should have been originally induced to do, the queries or suggestions adventured by Bacon in his discursive speculations on Nature, to wit, ‘that there be many things, some of them inanimate, that operate upon the spirits of men by secret sympathy and antipathy,’ and to which Bacon gave the quaint name of ‘imaginants,’ so even that wand, of which I have described to you the magic-like effects, may have had properties communicated to it by which it performs the work of the magician, as mesmerists pretend that some substance mesmerized by them can act on the patient as sensibly as if it were the mesmerizer himself. Do I state your suppositions correctly?”
“Based on the guesses,” I said, “that you’ve drawn from the knowledge of others and your own clever and thoughtful reasoning, I arrive at this explanation of the mysteries, through which my sensory experiences contradict all the beliefs my judgment accepts. To the rational ideas that, when we first talked about the wonders that puzzled me, you attributed to my imagination—triggered perhaps by mental excitement, physical exhaustion, or confusion, along with a series of unusual events that reinforce such inclinations—you now add a new one, which is more shocking and less accepted by serious scientists. You suggest it’s possible that individuals with a rare and unique temperament can influence imagination, and through that, impact the senses of others, surpassing even the abilities attributed to practitioners of mesmerism and electro-biology, and providing a certain truth to the ancient stories of magic and witchcraft. You imply that Margrave might be someone with this talent, hence the undeniable influence he has over Lilian, and possibly over less innocent beings, enchanted or compelled by his will. And not dismissing, as I originally would have been inclined to do, the questions or ideas posed by Bacon in his explorations of Nature, namely, ‘that there are many things, some of them inanimate, that affect the spirits of people through hidden sympathy and antipathy,’ which Bacon called ‘imaginants,’ so even that wand, which I’ve told you about with its magic-like effects, might possess qualities that allow it to perform the magician's work, just as mesmerists claim that something they have mesmerized can act on the recipient as if it were the mesmerizer themselves. Am I accurately representing your ideas?”
“Yes; always remembering that they are only suppositions, and volunteered with the utmost diffidence. But since, thus seated in the early wilderness, we permit ourselves the indulgence of childlike guess, may it not be possible, apart from the doubtful question whether a man can communicate to an inanimate material substance a power to act upon the mind or imagination of another man—may it not, I say, be possible that such a substance may contain in itself such a virtue or property potent over certain constitutions, though not over all. For instance, it is in my experience that the common hazel-wood will strongly affect some nervous temperaments, though wholly without effect on others. I remember a young girl, who having taken up a hazel-stick freshly cut, could not relax her hold of it; and when it was wrenched away from her by force, was irresistibly attracted towards it, repossessed herself of it, and, after holding it a few minutes, was cast into a kind of trance, in which she beheld phantasmal visions. Mentioning this curious case, which I supposed unique, to a learned brother of our profession, he told me that he had known other instances of the effect of the hazel upon nervous temperaments in persons of both sexes. Possibly it was some such peculiar property in the hazel that made it the wood selected for the old divining-rod. Again, we know that the bay-tree, or laurel, was dedicated to the oracular Pythian Apollo. Now wherever, in the old world, we find that the learning of the priests enabled them to exhibit exceptional phenomena, which imposed upon popular credulity, there was a something or other which is worth a philosopher’s while to explore; and, accordingly, I always suspected that there was in the laurel some property favourable to ecstatic vision in highly impressionable temperaments. My suspicion, a few years ago, was justified by the experience of a German physician, who had under his care a cataleptic or ecstatic patient, and who assured me that he found nothing in this patient so stimulated the state of ‘sleep-waking,’ or so disposed that state to indulge in the hallucinations of prevision, as the berry of the laurel.(10) Well, we do not know what this wand that produced a seemingly magical effect upon you was really composed of. You did not notice the metal employed in the wire, which you say communicated a thrill to the sensitive nerves in the palm of the hand. You cannot tell how far it might have been the vehicle of some fluid force in nature. Or still more probably, whether the pores of your hand insensibly imbibed, and communicated to the brain, some of those powerful narcotics from which the Buddhists and the Arabs make unguents that induce visionary hallucinations, and in which substances undetected in the hollow of the wand, or the handle of the wand itself, might be steeped.(11) One thing we do know, namely, that amongst the ancients, and especially in the East, the construction of wands for magical purposes was no commonplace mechanical craft, but a special and secret art appropriated to men who cultivated with assiduity all that was then known of natural science in order to extract from it agencies that might appear supernatural. Possibly, then, the rods or wands of the East, of which Scripture makes mention, were framed upon some principles of which we in our day are very naturally ignorant, since we do not ransack science for the same secrets; and thus, in the selection or preparation of the material employed, mainly consisted whatever may be referrible to natural philosophical causes in the antique science of Rhabdomancy, or divination and enchantment by wands. The staff, or wand, of which you tell me, was, you say, made of iron or steel and tipped with crystal. Possibly iron and crystal do really contain some properties not hitherto scientifically analyzed, and only, indeed, potential over exceptional temperaments, which may account for the fact that iron and crystal have been favourites with all professed mystics, ancient and modern. The Delphic Pythoness had her iron tripod, Mesmer his iron bed; and many persons, indisputably honest, cannot gaze long upon a ball of crystal but what they begin to see visions. I suspect that a philosophical cause for such seemingly preternatural effects of crystal and iron will be found in connection with the extreme impressionability to changes in temperatures which is the characteristic both of crystal and iron. But if these materials do contain certain powers over exceptional constitutions, we do not arrive at a supernatural but at a natural phenomenon.”
“Yes; always keeping in mind that these are just assumptions, offered with the utmost hesitation. But since we find ourselves here in the early wilderness, allowing ourselves the indulgence of childlike speculation, could it not be possible—setting aside the uncertain question of whether a person can give an inanimate material the ability to influence another's mind or imagination—that such a material might have properties that affect certain individuals, though not everyone? For instance, I've noticed that common hazel wood can have a strong impact on some sensitive individuals, while it has no effect on others. I remember a young girl who, after picking up a freshly cut hazel stick, couldn't let go of it; when it was forcibly taken from her, she felt an irresistible pull to it, reclaimed it, and after holding it for a few minutes, entered a kind of trance where she experienced vivid visions. When I shared this strange case, which I thought was unique, with a knowledgeable colleague, he told me he had encountered other cases of hazel affecting sensitive individuals of both genders. Perhaps it was some unique quality of hazel that made it the wood of choice for the old divining rod. Additionally, we know that the bay tree, or laurel, was dedicated to the prophetic Apollo of Delphi. In the ancient world, where the expertise of priests allowed them to demonstrate remarkable phenomena that played on popular belief, there was often something that warranted philosophical examination; thus, I have always suspected that the laurel might possess properties conducive to ecstatic visions in highly sensitive individuals. A few years ago, this suspicion was validated by a German doctor who treated a cataleptic or ecstatic patient, claiming that nothing stimulated this patient's state of 'sleep-waking,' or influenced premonitory hallucinations, as much as the laurel berry. Well, we don’t know what this wand that had a seemingly magical effect on you was actually made of. You didn't notice the metal used in the wire that you say sent a thrill through the sensitive nerves in your palm. You can’t ascertain how much it might have been a conduit for some natural force. Or, more likely, whether the pores of your hand might have absorbed and transmitted to your brain some potent narcotics that Buddhists and Arabs use in ointments that induce visionary hallucinations, potentially soaked into the hollow of the wand or the wand's handle itself. One thing we do know is that among the ancients, especially in the East, crafting wands for magical uses was no ordinary mechanical task, but a specialized and secret skill reserved for those who diligently studied all known aspects of natural science to extract from them forces that might seem supernatural. Perhaps the wands mentioned in Scripture were based on principles that are quite beyond our understanding today since we don’t explore science for the same mysteries; thus, the choice or processing of materials primarily contributed to what can be traced to natural philosophical explanations in the ancient practice of Rhabdomancy, or divination and enchantment through wands. The staff, or wand, you mentioned was made of iron or steel and tipped with crystal. It's possible that iron and crystal truly possess some properties that haven’t yet been scientifically examined and might only affect exceptional individuals, which could explain why iron and crystal have been favored by mystics throughout history. The Delphic Oracle had her iron tripod, Mesmer had his iron bed; and many sincerely honest people can't look at a crystal ball for long without starting to see visions. I suspect that a philosophical explanation for such seemingly supernatural effects of crystal and iron may relate to their extreme sensitivity to temperature changes, which is characteristic of both materials. But if these materials do hold certain powers over sensitive individuals, we are looking at a natural phenomenon, not a supernatural one.”
“Still,” said I, “even granting that your explanatory hypotheses hit or approach the truth;—still what a terrible power you would assign to man’s will over men’s reason and deeds!”
“Still,” I said, “even if we accept that your explanations come close to the truth, what an awful power you would give to man’s will over others’ reason and actions!”
“Man’s will,” answered Faber, “has over men’s deeds and reason, habitual and daily, power infinitely greater and, when uncounterbalanced, infinitely more dangerous than that which superstition exaggerates in magic. Man’s will moves a war that decimates a race, and leaves behind it calamities little less dire than slaughter. Man’s will frames, but it also corrupts laws; exalts, but also demoralizes opinion; sets the world mad with fanaticism, as often as it curbs the heart’s fierce instincts by the wisdom of brother-like mercy. You revolt at the exceptional, limited sway over some two or three individuals which the arts of a sorcerer (if sorcerer there be) can effect; and yet, at the very moment in which you were perplexed and appalled by such sway, or by your reluctant belief in it, your will was devising an engine to unsettle the reason and wither the hopes of millions!”
“Man’s will,” Faber replied, “has an extraordinarily greater and, when unchecked, infinitely more dangerous power over people’s actions and reasoning on a daily basis than what superstition exaggerates in magic. Man’s will can start a war that wipes out a whole race and leaves behind disasters almost as terrible as slaughter. Man’s will creates, but it also corrupts laws; it uplifts, but it also demoralizes opinions; it drives the world into madness with fanaticism just as often as it tempers the heart’s fierce instincts with the wisdom of humane mercy. You are shocked by the limited, exceptional influence that a sorcerer’s arts (if such a thing exists) can have over a few individuals; yet, at the very moment you are confused and disturbed by this influence, or by your unwilling belief in it, your will is crafting a means to undermine the reason and crush the hopes of millions!”
“My will! What engine?”
"My will! What a machine?"
“A book conceived by your intellect, adorned by your learning, and directed by your will, to steal from the minds of other men their persuasion of the soul’s everlasting Hereafter.”
“A book created by your intellect, enhanced by your knowledge, and guided by your determination, to take away from others their belief in the soul's eternal afterlife.”
I bowed my head, and felt myself grow pale.
I lowered my head and felt myself go pale.
“And if we accept Bacon’s theory of ‘secret sympathy,’ or the plainer physiological maxim that there must be in the imagination, morbidly impressed by the will of another, some trains of idea in affinity with such influence and preinclined to receive it, no magician could warp you to evil, except through thoughts that themselves went astray. Grant that the Margrave who still haunts your mind did really, by some occult, sinister magnetism, guide the madman to murder, did influence the servant-woman’s vulgar desire to pry into the secrets of her ill-fated master, or the old maid’s covetous wish and envious malignity: what could this awful magician do more than any commonplace guilty adviser, to a mind predisposed to accept the advice?”
“And if we accept Bacon’s theory of ‘secret sympathy,’ or the simpler physiological idea that the imagination, influenced by someone else’s will, must have some related thoughts ready to accept that influence, then no magician could lead you to do evil except through your own misguided thoughts. Even if the Margrave who still occupies your mind really did guide the madman to commit murder through some hidden, dark magnetism, or influenced the servant-woman’s crude desire to snoop into her unfortunate master’s secrets, or the old maid’s greedy wants and jealous spite: what could this terrible magician do that any ordinary guilty advisor couldn’t do to someone already willing to follow that advice?”
“You forget one example which destroys your argument,—the spell which this mysterious fascinator could cast upon a creature so pure from all guilt as Lilian!”
“You're forgetting one example that totally undermines your argument—the spell this mysterious charmer could cast on someone as innocent as Lilian!”
“Will you forgive me if I answer frankly?”
“Will you forgive me if I answer honestly?”
“Speak.”
"Talk."
“Your Lilian is spotless and pure as you deem her, and the fascination, therefore, attempts no lure through a sinful desire; it blends with its attraction no sentiment of affection untrue to yourself. Nay, it is justice to your Lilian, and may be melancholy comfort to you, to state my conviction, based on the answers my questions have drawn from her, that you were never more cherished by her love than when that love seemed to forsake you. Her imagination impressed her with the illusion that through your love for her you were threatened with a great peril. What seemed the levity of her desertion was the devotion of self-sacrifice. And, in her strange, dream-led wanderings, do not think that she was conscious of the fascination you impute to this mysterious Margrave: in her belief it was your own guardian angel that guided her steps, and her pilgrimage was ordained to disarm the foe that menaced you, and dissolve the spell that divided her life from yours! But had she not, long before this, willingly prepared herself to be so deceived? Had not her fancies been deliberately encouraged to dwell remote from the duties we are placed on the earth to perform? The loftiest faculties in our nature are those that demand the finest poise, not to fall from their height and crush all the walls that they crown. With exquisite beauty of illustration, Hume says of the dreamers of ‘bright fancies,’ ‘that they may be compared to those angels whom the Scriptures represent as covering their eyes with their wings.’ Had you been, like my nephew, a wrestler for bread with the wilderness, what helpmate would your Lilian have been to you? How often would you have cried out in justifiable anger, ‘I, son of Adam, am on earth, not in Paradise! Oh, that my Eve were at home on my hearth, and not in the skies with the seraphs!’ No Margrave, I venture to say, could have suspended the healthful affections, or charmed into danger the wide-awake soul of my Amy. When she rocks in its cradle the babe the young parents intrust to her heed; when she calls the kine to the milking, the chicks to their corn; when she but flits through my room to renew the flowers on the stand, or range in neat order the books that I read, no spell on her fancy could lead her a step from the range of her provident cares! At day she is contented to be on the commonplace earth; at evening she and I knock together at the one door of heaven, which opes to thanksgiving and prayer; and thanksgiving and prayer send us back, calm and hopeful, to the task that each morrow renews.”
“Your Lilian is just as spotless and pure as you believe her to be, and her allure doesn't rely on any sinful desires; it carries no false sentiment of affection that goes against your true feelings. In fact, it’s fair to your Lilian—and might even bring you some melancholy comfort—to share my belief, based on the responses I’ve gotten from her, that you were never more loved by her than when that love seemed to slip away. Her imagination led her to believe that your love for her put you in great danger. What appeared as her lack of concern was actually a deep devotion and self-sacrifice. And during her strange, dream-like wanderings, don’t think she was aware of the allure you attribute to this mysterious Margrave; she believed it was your own guardian angel guiding her steps, and her journey was meant to disarm the threat against you and break the spell that kept her life apart from yours! But hadn’t she, long before this, willingly prepared herself to be so misled? Hadn’t her fantasies been deliberately encouraged to stray from the responsibilities we were meant to fulfill on this earth? The highest faculties of our nature require the finest balance to prevent them from falling and destroying everything they elevate. With beautiful imagery, Hume talks about 'dreamers of bright fancies' saying they can be compared to those angels who, in Scripture, cover their eyes with their wings. If you had, like my nephew, struggled for survival in the wilderness, what kind of partner would your Lilian have been? How often would you have exclaimed in justified anger, ‘I, son of Adam, am here on earth, not in Paradise! Oh, if only my Eve were at home by my fire, and not in the sky with the seraphs!’ No Margrave, I dare say, could have altered the healthy affections or lured my awake and alert Amy into danger. When she rocks the baby entrusted to her care, when she calls the cows for milking or the chicks for their feed, or even when she quickly passes through my room to refresh the flowers on the stand or neatly arrange the books I read, nothing could distract her from her nurturing responsibilities! By day, she is content to be on the ordinary earth; by evening, she and I come together at the door of heaven, which opens for our gratitude and prayers; and after offering thanks and prayer, we return, calm and hopeful, to the work that each new day brings.”
I looked up as the old man paused, and in the limpid clearness of the Australian atmosphere, I saw the child he thus praised standing by the garden-gate, looking towards us, and though still distant she seemed near. I felt wroth with her. My heart so cherished my harmless, defenceless Lilian, that I was jealous of the praise taken from her to be bestowed on another.
I looked up as the old man paused, and in the clear brightness of the Australian sky, I saw the child he was praising standing by the garden gate, looking our way, and even though she was still far away, she felt close. I felt angry with her. My heart treasured my innocent, defenseless Lilian so much that I was jealous of the praise given to someone else.
“Each of us,” said I, coldly, “has his or her own nature, and the uses harmonious to that nature’s idiosyncrasy. The world, I grant, would get on very ill if women were not more or less actively useful and quietly good, like your Amy. But the world would lose standards that exalt and refine, if no woman were permitted to gain, through the indulgence of fancy, thoughts exquisite as those which my Lilian conceived, while thought, alas! flowed out of fancy. I do not wound you by citing your Amy as a type of the mediocre; I do not claim for Lilian the rank we accord to the type of genius. But both are alike to such types in this: namely, that the uses of mediocrity are for every-day life, and the uses of genius, amidst a thousand mistakes which mediocrity never commits, are to suggest and perpetuate ideas which raise the standard of the mediocre to a nobler level. There would be fewer Amys in life if there were no Lilian! as there would be far fewer good men of sense if there were no erring dreamer of genius!”
“Each of us,” I said coldly, “has our own nature and the roles that fit that nature’s quirks. Sure, the world would struggle if women weren’t somewhat actively helpful and quietly good, like your Amy. But the world would lose standards that uplift and refine if no woman were allowed to explore, through the freedom of imagination, thoughts as beautiful as those my Lilian had, while thought, unfortunately, came from imagination. I don’t mean to offend you by using your Amy as a model for the average; I’m not claiming that Lilian deserves the recognition we give to genius. But both are similar to such types in this way: the value of mediocrity is for everyday life, while the value of genius, despite many errors that mediocrity never makes, is to inspire and uphold ideas that elevate the standard of the average to a higher level. There would be fewer Amys in life if there were no Lilian! Just as there would be far fewer sensible good men if there were no misguided dreamer of genius!”
“You say well, Allen Fenwick. And who should be so indulgent to the vagaries of the imagination as the philosophers who taught your youth to doubt everything in the Maker’s plan of creation which could not be mathematically proved? ‘The human mind,’ said Luther, ‘is like a drunkard on horseback; prop it on one side, and it falls on the other.’ So the man who is much too enlightened to believe in a peasant’s religion, is always sure to set up some insane superstition of his own. Open biographical volumes wherever you please, and the man who has no faith in religion is a man who has faith in a nightmare. See that type of the elegant sceptics,—Lord Herbert of Cherbury. He is writing a book against Revelation; he asks a sign from heaven to tell him if his book is approved by his Maker, and the man who cannot believe in the miracles performed by his Saviour gravely tells us of a miracle vouchsafed to himself. Take the hardest and strongest intellect which the hardest and strongest race of mankind ever schooled and accomplished. See the greatest of great men, the great Julius Caesar! Publicly he asserts in the Senate that the immortality of the soul is a vain chimera. He professes the creed which Roman voluptuaries deduced from Epicurus, and denies all Divine interference in the affairs of the earth. A great authority for the Materialists—they have none greater! They can show on their side no intellect equal to Caesar’s! And yet this magnificent freethinker, rejecting a soul and a Deity, habitually entered his chariot muttering a charm; crawled on his knees up the steps of a temple to propitiate the abstraction called ‘Nemesis;’ and did not cross the Rubicon till he had consulted the omens. What does all this prove?—a very simple truth. Man has some instincts with the brutes; for instance, hunger and sexual love. Man has one instinct peculiar to himself, found universally (or with alleged exceptions in savage States so rare, that they do not affect the general law(12)),—an instinct of an invisible power without this earth, and of a life beyond the grave, which that power vouchsafes to his spirit. But the best of us cannot violate an instinct with impunity. Resist hunger as long as you can, and, rather than die of starvation, your instinct will make you a cannibal; resist love when youth and nature impel to it, and what pathologist does not track one broad path into madness or crime? So with the noblest instinct of all. Reject the internal conviction by which the grandest thinkers have sanctioned the hope of the humblest Christian, and you are servile at once to some faith inconceivably more hard to believe. The imagination will not be withheld from its yearnings for vistas beyond the walls of the flesh, and the span of the present hour. Philosophy itself, in rejecting the healthful creeds by which man finds his safeguards in sober prayer and his guide through the wilderness of visionary doubt, invents systems compared to which the mysteries of theology are simple. Suppose any man of strong, plain understanding had never heard of a Deity like Him whom we Christians adore, then ask this man which he can the better comprehend in his mind, and accept as a natural faith,—namely, the simple Christianity of his shepherd or the Pantheism of Spinoza? Place before an accomplished critic (who comes with a perfectly unprejudiced mind to either inquiry), first, the arguments of David Hume against the gospel miracles, and then the metaphysical crotchets of David Hume himself. This subtle philosopher, not content, with Berkeley, to get rid of matter,—not content, with Condillac, to get rid of spirit or mind,—proceeds to a miracle greater than any his Maker has yet vouchsafed to reveal. He, being then alive and in the act of writing, gets rid of himself altogether. Nay, he confesses he cannot reason with any one who is stupid enough to think he has a self. His words are: ‘What we call a mind is nothing but a heap or collection of different perceptions or objects united together by certain relations, and supposed, though falsely, to be endowed with perfect simplicity and identity. If any one, upon serious and candid reflection, thinks he has a different notion of himself, I must confess I can reason with him no longer.’ Certainly I would rather believe all the ghost stories upon record than believe that I am not even a ghost, distinct and apart from the perceptions conveyed to me, no matter how,—just as I am distinct and apart from the furniture in my room, no matter whether I found it there or whether I bought it. If some old cosmogonist asked you to believe that the primitive cause of the solar system was not to ‘be traced to a Divine Intelligence, but to a nebulosity, originally so diffused that its existence can with difficulty be conceived, and that the origin of the present system of organized beings equally dispensed with the agency of a creative mind, and could be referred to molecules formed in the water by the power of attraction, till by modifications of cellular tissue in the gradual lapse of ages, one monad became an oyster and another a Man,—would you not say this cosmogony could scarce have misled the human understanding even in the earliest dawn of speculative inquiry? Yet such are the hypotheses to which the desire to philosophize away that simple proposition of a Divine First Cause, which every child can comprehend, led two of the greatest geniuses and profoundest reasoners of modern times,—La Place and La Marck.(13) Certainly, the more you examine those arch phantasmagorists, the philosophers who would leave nothing in the universe but their own delusions, the more your intellectual pride may be humbled. The wildest phenomena which have startled you are not more extravagant than the grave explanations which intellectual presumption adventures on the elements of our own organism and the relations between the world of matter and the world of ideas.”
“You're right, Allen Fenwick. Who could be more forgiving of the whims of imagination than the philosophers who taught you to question everything in the Creator’s plan that can't be mathematically proven? ‘The human mind,’ said Luther, ‘is like a drunk person on a horse; prop it up on one side, and it falls on the other.’ So, the person who is too enlightened to believe in the religion of the common people is always sure to adopt some crazy superstition of their own. Open any biography and you'll see that someone who lacks faith in religion is often someone who has faith in a nightmare. Take the example of the elegant skeptics—like Lord Herbert of Cherbury. He writes a book against Revelation and asks for a sign from heaven to confirm if his book is approved by the Creator, yet this same man, who can't believe in the miracles of his Savior, seriously claims to have experienced a miracle himself. Look at the strongest and most brilliant mind that any race has ever cultivated—Julius Caesar! He openly declares in the Senate that the immortality of the soul is a foolish illusion. He adopts the beliefs that Roman pleasure-seekers derived from Epicurus and denies any divine intervention in earthly affairs. He is a major authority for Materialists—they have no one greater than him! They can't show an intellect that matches Caesar’s! Yet, this impressive free thinker, who rejects the existence of a soul and a God, routinely climbs into his chariot while muttering a charm, crawls on his knees up the steps of a temple to appease the concept known as ‘Nemesis,’ and waits until he has consulted the omens before crossing the Rubicon. What does all this show?—a very simple truth. Humans share some instincts with animals, like hunger and sexual desire. However, humans also possess a unique instinct—generally found everywhere (with alleged rare exceptions in primitive societies that don’t challenge the overall rule)—an instinct that recognizes an unseen power beyond this world and a life after death, which that power grants to the spirit. But the best of us cannot ignore an instinct without suffering consequences. Resist hunger for as long as you can, and rather than starve, your instinct will push you towards cannibalism; resist love when youth and nature lead you towards it, and what pathologist has not chronicled a clear path to madness or crime? The same goes for our noblest instinct. Reject the inner certainty that great thinkers have validated in the hopes of even the humblest Christians, and you will become enslaved to a belief almost impossibly harder to accept. Imagination will not be suppressed in its longing for greater horizons beyond the limits of the body and the present moment. Philosophy, in rejecting the healthy beliefs that help people find refuge in sincere prayer and navigate through the wilderness of confusing doubts, constructs systems that make the mysteries of theology seem simple. Imagine if any person with a strong, straightforward understanding had never heard of a God like the one we Christians worship. Ask this person which they could better understand and accept as a natural belief—namely, the straightforward Christianity of their shepherd or the Pantheism of Spinoza? Present an unbiased critic with the arguments of David Hume against the gospel miracles, and then the metaphysical quirks of Hume himself. This subtle philosopher, not content with Berkeley's dismissal of matter, and not satisfied with Condillac’s dismissal of spirit or mind, goes further to propose an idea greater than any his Maker has revealed. While alive and writing, he completely dismisses his own existence. He even admits that he can’t reason with anyone who is foolish enough to think they have a self. His words are: ‘What we call a mind is nothing but a collection of different perceptions or objects linked together by certain connections, and mistakenly believed—though falsely—to possess perfect simplicity and identity. If anyone, after serious and honest reflection, believes they have a different notion of themselves, I must confess I can no longer reason with them.’ I would prefer to believe all the ghost stories in existence rather than accept that I am not even a ghost, distinct and separate from the impressions I receive, just as I am distinct and separate from the furniture in my room, no matter whether I found it there or bought it. If some ancient cosmologist asked you to believe that the original cause of the solar system cannot be traced to a Divine Intelligence but rather to a nebulosity initially so spread out that its existence is hard to conceive, and that the origins of today's organized beings could similarly be explained without referring to a creative mind but instead to molecules formed in water by the power of attraction, until over ages of changes in cellular tissue, one monad became an oyster and another a man—wouldn’t you say this cosmology must have seriously obscured human understanding even in the earliest days of philosophical inquiry? Yet these are the hypotheses that the desire to philosophize away that simple proposition of a Divine First Cause, which every child can grasp, led to by two of the greatest geniuses and deepest thinkers of modern times—Laplace and Lamarck. The more you scrutinize these ultimate illusionists, the philosophers who would leave nothing in the universe except their own delusions, the more your intellectual pride might be humbled. The wildest phenomena that have shocked you are not more bizarre than the serious explanations that intellectual arrogance offers regarding the elements of our own bodies and the connections between the material world and the world of ideas.”
Here our conversation stopped, for Amy had now joined us, and, looking up to reply, I saw the child’s innocent face between me and the furrowed brow of the old man.
Here our conversation stopped, because Amy had now joined us, and, looking up to respond, I saw the child's innocent face between me and the old man's furrowed brow.
(1) See, on the theory elaborated from this principle, Dr. Hibbert’s interesting and valuable work on the “Philosophy of Apparitions.”
(1) Check out Dr. Hibbert's fascinating and valuable work on the "Philosophy of Apparitions," based on the theory developed from this principle.
(2) What Faber here says is expressed with more authority by one of the most accomplished metaphysicians of our time (Sir W. Hamilton):
(2) What Faber is saying here is stated with more authority by one of the most skilled metaphysicians of our time (Sir W. Hamilton):
“Somnambulism is a phenomenon still more astonishing (than dreaming). In this singular state a person performs a regular series of rational actions, and those frequently of the most difficult and delicate nature; and what is still more marvellous, with a talent to which he could make no pretension when awake. (Cr. Ancillon, Essais Philos. ii. 161.) His memory and reminiscence supply him with recollections of words and things which, perhaps, never were at his disposal in the ordinary state,—he speaks more fluently a more refined language. And if we are to credit what the evidence on which it rests hardly allows us to disbelieve, he has not only perception of things through other channels than the common organs of sense, but the sphere of his cognition is amplified to an extent far beyond the limits to which sensible perception is confined. This subject is one of the most perplexing in the whole compass of philosophy; for, on the one hand, the phenomena are so remarkable that they cannot be believed, and yet, on the other, they are of so unambiguous and palpable a character, and the witnesses to their reality are so numerous, so intelligent, and so high above every suspicion of deceit, that it is equally impossible to deny credit to what is attested by such ample and un exceptionable evidence.”—Sir W. Hamilton: Lectures on Metaphysics and Logic, vol. ii. p. 274.
“Somnambulism is an even more astonishing phenomenon than dreaming. In this unique state, a person carries out a regular series of rational actions, often of the most difficult and delicate nature; and even more remarkably, with a skill that they couldn't claim while awake. (Cr. Ancillon, Essais Philos. ii. 161.) Their memory and recall provide them with knowledge of words and things that, perhaps, they never had access to in their normal state— they speak more fluently and in a more refined manner. And if we are to trust what the evidence suggests, which is hard to dismiss, they not only perceive things through channels other than the typical senses, but their understanding extends far beyond the limits of ordinary perception. This topic is among the most perplexing in all of philosophy; for on one hand, the phenomena are so remarkable that they seem unbelievable, yet on the other hand, they are so clear and evident, and the witnesses to their reality are so numerous, so intelligent, and so above any suspicion of deceit, that it is equally impossible to disregard such ample and indisputable evidence.” —Sir W. Hamilton: Lectures on Metaphysics and Logic, vol. ii. p. 274.
This perplexity, in which the distinguished philosopher leaves the judgment so equally balanced that it finds it impossible to believe, and yet impossible to disbelieve, forms the right state of mind in which a candid thinker should come to the examination of those more extraordinary phenomena which he has not himself yet witnessed, but the fair inquiry into which may be tendered to him by persons above the imputation of quackery and fraud. Muffler, who is not the least determined, as he is certainly one of the most distinguished, disbelievers of mesmeric phenomena, does not appear to have witnessed, or at least to have carefully examined, them, or he would, perhaps, have seen that even the more extraordinary of those phenomena confirm, rather than contradict, his own general theories, and may be explained by the sympathies one sense has with another,—“the laws of reflection through the medium of the brain.” (Physiology of the Senses, p. 1311.) And again by the maxim “that the mental principle, or cause of the mental phenomena, cannot be confined to the brain, but that it exists in a latent state in every part of the organism.” (Ibid., p. 1355.) The “nerve power,” contended for by Mr. Bain, also may suggest a rational solution of much that has seemed incredible to those physiologists who have not condescended to sift the genuine phenomena of mesmerism from the imposture to which, in all ages, the phenomena exhibited by what may be called the ecstatic temperament have been applied.
This confusion, in which the well-known philosopher leaves the judgment so evenly balanced that it’s impossible to fully believe or disbelieve, creates the ideal mindset for an open-minded thinker to approach the examination of those more extraordinary phenomena that he hasn’t personally witnessed yet, but which might be presented to him by individuals who aren’t tainted by accusations of quackery or fraud. Muffler, who is certainly one of the most notable and determined skeptics of mesmeric phenomena, doesn’t seem to have seen, or at least to have carefully studied, them. Otherwise, he might have realized that even the most extraordinary of these phenomena actually support his own general theories, and could be explained by the connections one sense has with another—“the laws of reflection through the medium of the brain.” (Physiology of the Senses, p. 1311.) Moreover, the principle that “the mental cause of mental phenomena cannot be limited to the brain, but exists in a latent state in every part of the organism.” (Ibid., p. 1355.) The “nerve power,” advocated by Mr. Bain, could also provide a rational explanation for much that has seemed unbelievable to those physiologists who haven’t bothered to differentiate the authentic phenomena of mesmerism from the deceptions that have always surrounded the phenomena displayed by what can be termed the ecstatic temperament.
(3) Descartes, L’Homme, vol. iv. p. 345. Cousin’s Edition.
(3) Descartes, L'Homme, vol. iv. p. 345. Cousin’s Edition.
(4) Ibid., p. 428.
Ibid., p. 428.
(5) Facts in Mesmerism.
(5) Facts about Mesmerism.
(6) La Magic et l’Astrologie dans l’Antiquitd et an Moyen-Age. Par L. F. Alfred Maury, Membre de Institut. p. 225.
(6) Magic and Astrology in Antiquity and the Middle Ages. By L. F. Alfred Maury, Member of the Institute. p. 225.
(7) “She had no illusions when within doors.”—Abercrombie, On the Intellectual Powers, p. 277. (15th Edition.)
(7) “She was fully aware of reality when she was inside.” —Abercrombie, On the Intellectual Powers, p. 277. (15th Edition.)
(8) Muller, Physiology of the Senses, Baley’s translation, pp. 1068-1395, and elsewhere. Mr. Bain, in his thoughtful and suggestive work on the “Senses and Intellect,” makes very powerful use of these statements in support of his proposition, which Faber advances in other words, namely, “the return of the nervous currents exactly on their old track in revived sensations.”
(8) Muller, Physiology of the Senses, Baley’s translation, pp. 1068-1395, and elsewhere. Mr. Bain, in his insightful and thought-provoking work on the “Senses and Intellect,” effectively uses these statements to back up his argument, which Faber presents in different terms, specifically, “the return of the nervous currents exactly on their old track in revived sensations.”
(9) Perhaps it is for the reason suggested in the text, namely, that the magician requires the interposition of a third imagination between his own and that of the consulting believer, that any learned adept in (so-called) magic will invariably refuse to exhibit without the presence of a third person. Hence the author of “Dogme et Rituel de la Haute Magic,” printed at Parisy 1852-53—a book less remarkable for its learning than for the earnest belief of a scholar of our own day in the reality of the art of which he records the history—insists much on the necessity of rigidly observing Le Ternaire, in the number of persons who assist in an enchanter’s experiments.
(9) Maybe it's for the reason mentioned in the text, which is that the magician needs a third person's imagination to connect his own with that of the believer seeking help, that any knowledgeable expert in (so-called) magic will always refuse to perform without having another person present. Thus, the author of “Dogme et Rituel de la Haute Magic,” published in Paris in 1852-53—a book that is notable less for its scholarship and more for the sincere belief of a contemporary scholar in the reality of the practice he describes—emphasizes the importance of strictly adhering to Le Ternaire, in terms of the number of people involved in the magician’s experiments.
(10) I may add that Dr. Kerner instances the effect of laurel-berries on the Seeress of Prevorst, corresponding with that asserted by Julius Faber in the text.
(10) I should mention that Dr. Kerner points out the impact of laurel berries on the Seeress of Prevorst, which aligns with what Julius Faber claims in the text.
(11) See for these unguents the work of M. Maury, before quoted, “La Magic et l’Astrologie,” etc., p. 417.
(11) For information on these ointments, refer to M. Maury's previously cited work, "Magic and Astrology," etc., p. 417.
(12) It seems extremely doubtful whether the very few instances in which it has been asserted that a savage race has been found without recognition of a Deity and a future state would bear searching examination. It is set forth, for example, in most of the popular works on Australia, that the Australian savages have no notion of a Deity or a Hereafter, that they only worship a devil, or evil spirit. This assumption, though made more peremptorily, and by a greater number of writers than any similar one regarding other savages, is altogether erroneous, and has no other foundation than the ignorance of the writers. The Australian savages recognize a Deity, but He is too august for a name in their own language; in English they call Him the Great Master,—an expression synonymous with “The Great Lord.” They believe in a hereafter of eternal joy, and place it amongst the stars.—See Strzelecki’s Physical Description of New South Wales.
(12) It’s highly doubtful that the few claims stating that a primitive culture exists without any concept of a deity or an afterlife would hold up under close examination. For instance, many popular books about Australia claim that Aboriginal people have no idea of a deity or an afterlife, and that they only worship a devil or evil spirit. This belief, while stated more dogmatically by more authors than similar claims about other cultures, is completely false and is based solely on the ignorance of the authors. Aboriginal people do recognize a deity, but they consider Him too sacred to name in their own language; in English, they refer to Him as the Great Master, which is similar to “The Great Lord.” They also believe in an eternal afterlife filled with joy, which they place among the stars. —See Strzelecki’s Physical Description of New South Wales.
(13) See the observations on La Place and La Marck in the Introduction to Kirby’s “Bridgewater Treatise.”
(13) Check out the notes on La Place and La Marck in the Introduction to Kirby’s “Bridgewater Treatise.”
CHAPTER LXXII.
I turned back alone. The sun was reddening the summits of the distant mountain-range, but dark clouds, that portended rain, were gathering behind my way and deepening the shadows in many a chasm and hollow which volcanic fires had wrought on the surface of uplands undulating like diluvian billows fixed into stone in the midst of their stormy swell. I wandered on and away from the beaten track, absorbed in thought. Could I acknowledge in Julius Faber’s conjectures any basis for logical ratiocination; or were they not the ingenious fancies of that empirical Philosophy of Sentiment by which the aged, in the decline of severer faculties, sometimes assimilate their theories to the hazy romance of youth? I can well conceive that the story I tell will be regarded by most as a wild and fantastic fable; that by some it may be considered a vehicle for guesses at various riddles of Nature, without or within us, which are free to the license of romance, though forbidden to the caution of science. But, I—I—know unmistakably my own identity, my own positive place in a substantial universe. And beyond that knowledge, what do I know? Yet had Faber no ground for his startling parallels between the chimeras of superstition and the alternatives to faith volunteered by the metaphysical speculations of knowledge? On the theorems of Condillac, I, in common with numberless contemporaneous students (for, in my youth, Condillac held sway in the schools, as now, driven forth from the schools, his opinions float loose through the talk and the scribble of men of the world, who perhaps never opened his page),—on the theorems of Condillac I had built up a system of thought designed to immure the swathed form of material philosophy from all rays and all sounds of a world not material, as the walls of some blind mausoleum shut out, from the mummy within, the whisper of winds and the gleaming of stars.
I turned back alone. The sun was turning the peaks of the distant mountains red, but dark clouds, signaling rain, were gathering behind me and deepening the shadows in many chasms and hollows created by volcanic activity on the surface of hills that rolled like waves frozen in stone amid their stormy rise. I wandered off the beaten path, lost in thought. Could I find any logical basis in Julius Faber’s theories, or were they just clever ideas from that sentimental philosophy that the elderly sometimes adopt as they simplify their theories to resemble the dreamy romance of their youth? I can easily imagine that most people will see my story as a wild and fanciful fable; some might see it as a way to explore various mysteries of Nature, both inside and outside us, that are free for exploration but often dismissed by the caution of science. But I—I—clearly know my own identity, my own definite place in a substantial universe. Beyond that, what do I really know? Yet, did Faber not have a reason for his shocking parallels between the illusions of superstition and the alternative beliefs offered by the metaphysical inquiries of knowledge? I had built a system of thought based on Condillac's theories, just like countless students of my time (for, in my youth, Condillac was the authority in schools, and now, removed from academia, his ideas float freely in the conversations and writings of people who may have never opened his work)—on Condillac’s ideas, I created a system meant to seal off the wrapped form of material philosophy from all the light and sounds of a non-material world, just as the walls of a blind mausoleum keep out the whispers of the wind and the light of the stars from the mummy inside.
And did not those very theorems, when carried out to their strict and completing results by the close reasonings of Hume, resolve my own living identity, the one conscious indivisible me, into a bundle of memories derived from the senses which had bubbled and duped my experience, and reduce into a phantom, as spectral as that of the Luminous Shadow, the whole solid frame of creation?
And didn’t those very theorems, when fully explored through Hume's careful reasoning, break down my own living identity—the one conscious, indivisible “me”—into a collection of memories from my senses that misled and tricked my experience, reducing the entire solid structure of creation into a phantom as ghostly as the Luminous Shadow?
While pondering these questions, the storm whose forewarnings I had neglected to heed burst forth with all the suddenness peculiar to the Australian climes. The rains descended like the rushing of floods. In the beds of watercourses, which, at noon, seemed dried up and exhausted, the torrents began to swell and to rave; the gray crags around them were animated into living waterfalls. I looked round, and the landscape was as changed as a scene that replaces a scene on the player’s stage. I was aware that I had wandered far from my home, and I knew not what direction I should take to regain it. Close at hand, and raised above the torrents that now rushed in many a gully and tributary creek, around and before me, the mouth of a deep cave, overgrown with bushes and creeping flowers tossed wildly to and fro between the rain from above and the spray of cascades below, offered a shelter from the storm. I entered,—scaring innumerable flocks of bats striking against me, blinded by the glare of the lightning that followed me into the cavern, and hastening to resettle themselves on the pendants of stalactites, or the jagged buttresses of primaeval wall.
While thinking about these questions, the storm I had ignored suddenly struck with all the unpredictability typical of Australian weather. The rain poured down like a rushing flood. In the dry riverbeds that were empty and barren at noon, torrents began to swell and roar; the gray cliffs around them turned into living waterfalls. I looked around, and the landscape had changed as dramatically as a scene change on a stage. I realized I had wandered far from home, and I didn’t know which way to go to find it. Nearby, raised above the rushing waters in the many gully and creek, the entrance to a deep cave, covered in bushes and wildflowers tossed about by the rain and spray, provided shelter from the storm. I entered, startling countless bats that flew into me, blinded by the lightning that followed me into the cave, as they hurried to settle back on the stalactites or the rough stone walls.
From time to time the lightning darted into the gloom and lingered amongst its shadows; and I saw, by the flash, that the floors on which I stood were strewed with strange bones, some amongst them the fossilized relics of races destroyed by the Deluge. The rain continued for more than two hours with unabated violence; then it ceased almost as suddenly as it had come on, and the lustrous moon of Australia burst from the clouds shining bright as an English dawn, into the hollows of the cave. And then simultaneously arose all the choral songs of the wilderness,—creatures whose voices are heard at night,—the loud whir of the locusts, the musical boom of the bullfrog, the cuckoo note of the morepork, and, mournful amidst all those merrier sounds, the hoot of the owl, through the wizard she-oaks and the pale green of the gum-trees.
From time to time, lightning shot into the darkness and lingered among its shadows; in that flash, I saw that the floors I was standing on were covered with strange bones, including the fossilized remains of races wiped out by the flood. The rain continued for over two hours without letting up; then it stopped almost as suddenly as it had started, and the bright Australian moon emerged from the clouds, shining as bright as an English dawn, into the depths of the cave. Then, all at once, the wilderness came alive with its nighttime chorus—the loud buzzing of locusts, the melodic croak of the bullfrog, the call of the morepork, and, amidst all those cheerier sounds, the mournful hoot of the owl, echoing through the mystical she-oaks and the pale green gum trees.
I stepped forth into the open air and gazed, first instinctively on the heavens, next, with more heedful eye, upon the earth. The nature of the soil bore the evidence of volcanic fires long since extinguished. Just before my feet, the rays fell full upon a bright yellow streak in the block of quartz half imbedded in the soft moist soil. In the midst of all the solemn thoughts and the intense sorrows which weighed upon heart and mind, that yellow gleam startled the mind into a direction remote from philosophy, quickened the heart to a beat that chimed with no household affections. Involuntarily I stooped; impulsively I struck the block with the hatchet, or tomahawk, I carried habitually about me, for the purpose of marking the trees that I wished to clear from the waste of my broad domain. The quartz was shattered by the stroke, and left disburied its glittering treasure. My first glance had not deceived me. I, vain seeker after knowledge, had, at least, discovered gold. I took up the bright metal—gold! I paused; I looked round; the land that just before had seemed to me so worthless took the value of Ophir. Its features had before been as unknown to me as the Mountains of the Moon, and now my memory became wonderfully quickened. I recalled the rough map of my possessions, the first careless ride round their boundaries. Yes, the land on which I stood—for miles, to the spur of those farther mountains—the land was mine, and, beneath its surface, there was gold! I closed my eyes; for some moments visions of boundless wealth, and of the royal power which such wealth could command, swept athwart my brain. But my heart rapidly settled back to its real treasure. “What matters,” I sighed, “all this dross? Could Ophir itself buy back to my Lilian’s smile one ray of the light which gave ‘glory to the grass and splendour to the flower’?”
I stepped out into the open air and looked up at the sky instinctively, then, with a more careful eye, I scanned the ground. The nature of the soil showed signs of volcanic fires that had long been extinguished. Right in front of me, the sunlight shone directly on a bright yellow streak in a block of quartz that was partly buried in the soft, moist earth. Amidst all the heavy thoughts and deep sorrows weighing on my heart and mind, that yellow gleam distracted my thoughts from philosophy and quickened my heartbeat in a way that had nothing to do with personal feelings. Without thinking, I bent down; out of impulse, I hit the block with the hatchet, or tomahawk, that I always carried to mark the trees I wanted to clear from my vast land. The quartz shattered from the strike, revealing its sparkling treasure. My first glance had not deceived me. I, the vain seeker of knowledge, had discovered gold. I picked up the shiny metal—gold! I paused; I looked around; the land that had just seemed worthless now felt as valuable as Ophir. Its features, once as unknown to me as the Mountains of the Moon, suddenly sparked my memory. I remembered the rough map of what I owned and the first casual ride around its borders. Yes, the land I stood on—for miles, all the way to the foothills of those distant mountains—this land was mine, and beneath its surface, there was gold! I closed my eyes; for a moment, visions of endless wealth and the royal power it could bring flashed through my mind. But my heart quickly returned to what truly mattered. “What does it matter,” I sighed, “all this worthless stuff? Could even Ophir buy back a single ray of light that gave ‘glory to the grass and splendor to the flower’ from my Lilian’s smile?”
So muttering, I flung the gold into the torrent that raged below, and went on through the moonlight, sorrowing silently,—only thankful for the discovery that had quickened my reminiscence of the landmarks by which to steer my way through the wilderness.
So saying, I tossed the gold into the rushing river below and continued on through the moonlight, quietly grieving—just relieved by the realization that had sparked my memory of the landmarks to guide me through the wilderness.
The night was half gone, for even when I had gained the familiar track through the pastures, the swell of the many winding creeks that now intersected the way obliged me often to retrace my steps; to find, sometimes, the bridge of a felled tree which had been providently left unremoved over the now foaming torrent, and, more than once, to swim across the current, in which swimmers less strong or less practised would have been dashed down the falls, where loose logs and torn trees went clattering and whirling: for I was in danger of life. A band of the savage natives were stealthily creeping on my track,—the natives in those parts were not then so much awed by the white man as now. A boomerang(1) had whirred by me, burying itself amongst the herbage close before my feet. I had turned, sought to find and to face these dastardly foes; they contrived to elude me. But when I moved on, my ear, sharpened by danger, heard them moving, too, in my rear. Once only three hideous forms suddenly faced me, springing up from a thicket, all tangled with honeysuckles and creepers of blue and vermilion. I walked steadily up to them. They halted a moment or so in suspense; but perhaps they were scared by my stature or awed by my aspect; and the Unfamiliar, though Human, had terror for them, as the Unfamiliar, although but a Shadow, had had terror for me. They vanished, and as quickly as if they had crept into the earth.
The night was already half over. Even when I found the familiar path through the pastures, the many winding creeks that crossed the way forced me to backtrack often. Sometimes, I had to find a fallen tree that was conveniently left as a bridge over the now raging water, and more than once, I had to swim across the current, where weaker swimmers would have been swept over the falls, with loose logs and broken trees swirling around. I was in serious danger. A group of fierce natives was quietly following my trail—the locals back then weren't as intimidated by white people as they are now. A boomerang whizzed by me, embedding itself in the grass right in front of me. I turned, hoping to confront these cowardly enemies, but they managed to escape me. However, as I continued, my senses heightened by fear, I could hear them moving behind me. At one point, three terrifying figures suddenly appeared, springing up from a thicket tangled with honeysuckle and blue and red vines. I walked steadily toward them. They paused for a moment, maybe startled by my height or intimidated by my presence; the unfamiliar, even though human, struck fear in them, just like the unfamiliar, even though only a shadow, had terrified me. They disappeared as quickly as if they had sunk into the ground.
At length the air brought me the soft perfume of my well-known acacias, and my house stood before me, amidst English flowers and English fruit-trees, under the effulgent Australian moon. Just as I was opening the little gate which gave access from the pastureland into the garden, a figure in white rose up from under light, feathery boughs, and a hand was laid on my arm. I started; but my surprise was changed into fear when I saw the pale face and sweet eyes of Lilian.
At last, the air carried the familiar scent of my acacias, and my house appeared before me, surrounded by English flowers and fruit trees, under the bright Australian moon. Just as I was opening the small gate that led from the pasture into the garden, a figure in white emerged from beneath the light, delicate branches, and a hand touched my arm. I jumped, but my surprise turned into fear when I saw Lilian's pale face and gentle eyes.
“Heavens! you here! you! at this hour! Lilian, what is this?”
“Heavens! You here! You! At this hour! Lilian, what’s going on?”
“Hush!” she whispered, clinging to me; “hush! do not tell: no one knows. I missed you when the storm came on; I have missed you ever since. Others went in search of you and came back. I could not sleep, but the rest are sleeping, so I stole down to watch for you. Brother, brother, if any harm chanced to you, even the angels could not comfort me; all would be dark, dark! But you are safe, safe, safe!” And she clung to me yet closer.
“Hush!” she whispered, holding on to me; “hush! don’t say a word: no one knows. I missed you when the storm hit; I’ve missed you ever since. Others went looking for you and came back. I couldn’t sleep, but everyone else is asleep, so I snuck down to wait for you. Brother, brother, if anything happened to you, not even the angels could comfort me; everything would be dark, dark! But you’re safe, safe, safe!” And she held on to me even tighter.
“Ah, Lilian, Lilian, your vision in the hour I first beheld you was indeed prophetic,—‘each has need of the other.’ Do you remember?”
“Ah, Lilian, Lilian, your presence when I first saw you was truly prophetic—‘each has need of the other.’ Do you remember?”
“Softly, softly,” she said, “let me think!” She stood quietly by my side, looking up into the sky, with all its numberless stars, and its solitary moon now sinking slow behind the verge of the forest. “It comes back to me,” she murmured softly,—“the Long ago,—the sweet Long ago!”
“Take your time,” she said, “let me think!” She stood quietly by my side, gazing up at the sky, with all its countless stars and the single moon slowly sinking behind the edge of the forest. “It's coming back to me,” she whispered softly, “the Long ago—the sweet Long ago!”
I held my breath to listen.
I held my breath to listen.
“There, there!” she resumed, pointing to the heavens; “do you see? You are there, and my father, and—and—Oh! that terrible face, those serpent eyes, the dead man’s skull! Save me! save me!”
“There, there!” she continued, pointing to the sky; “do you see? You are up there, and my father, and—and—Oh! that horrible face, those snake-like eyes, the dead man’s skull! Help me! help me!”
She bowed her head upon my bosom, and I led her gently back towards the house. As we gained the door which she had left open, the starlight shining across the shadowy gloom within, she lifted her face from my breast, and cast a hurried fearful look round the shining garden, then into the dim recess beyond the threshold.
She lowered her head onto my chest, and I softly guided her back toward the house. As we reached the door she had left open, with starlight spilling into the dark interior, she lifted her face from my chest and shot a quick, anxious glance around the illuminated garden, then into the dim space beyond the threshold.
“It is there—there!—the Shadow that lured me on, whispering that if I followed it I should join my beloved. False, dreadful Shadow! it will fade soon,—fade into the grinning horrible skull. Brother, brother, where is my Allen? Is he dead—dead—or is it I who am dead to him?”
“It’s right there—there!—the Shadow that tempted me, whispering that if I followed it, I’d be with my beloved. False, terrifying Shadow! It will soon fade—fade into the grinning, horrible skull. Brother, brother, where is my Allen? Is he dead—dead—or am I the one who is dead to him?”
I could but clasp her again to my breast, and seek to mantle her shivering form with my dripping garments, all the while my eyes—following the direction which hers had taken—dwelt on the walls of the nook within the threshold, half lost in darkness, half white in starlight. And there I, too, beheld the haunting Luminous Shadow, the spectral effigies of the mysterious being, whose very existence in the flesh was a riddle unsolved by my reason. Distinctly I saw the Shadow, but its light was far paler, its outline far more vague, than when I had beheld it before. I took courage, as I felt Lilian’s heart beating against my own. I advanced, I crossed the threshold,—the Shadow was gone.
I could only hold her close to my chest and try to cover her shivering body with my soaked clothes, while my eyes—following the direction hers had turned—focused on the walls of the nook at the entrance, half in darkness and half bathed in starlight. And there, I too saw the haunting Luminous Shadow, the ghostly figures of the mysterious being, whose very existence in the flesh was a mystery my mind couldn't solve. I clearly saw the Shadow, but its light was much dimmer, its shape much less defined, than when I had seen it before. I felt encouraged as I felt Lilian’s heart beating against mine. I moved forward, I crossed the threshold—then the Shadow was gone.
“There is no Shadow here,—no phantom to daunt thee, my life’s life,” said I, bending over Lilian.
“There’s no shadow here—no ghost to scare you, my reason for living,” I said, leaning over Lilian.
“It has touched me in passing; I feel it—cold, cold, cold!” she answered faintly.
“It brushed against me briefly; I can feel it—cold, cold, cold!” she replied weakly.
I bore her to her room, placed her on her bed, struck a light, watched over her. At dawn there was a change in her face, and from that time health gradually left her; strength slowly, slowly, yet to me perceptibly, ebbed from her life away.
I carried her to her room, laid her on her bed, lit a lamp, and kept watch over her. At dawn, I noticed a change in her face, and from that moment on, her health steadily declined; her strength slowly, yet noticeably to me, faded away.
(1) A missile weapon peculiar to the Australian savages.
(1) A type of missile weapon specific to the Australian Indigenous people.
CHAPTER LXXIII.
Months upon months have rolled on since the night in which Lilian had watched for my coming amidst the chilling airs—under the haunting moon. I have said that from the date of that night her health began gradually to fail, but in her mind there was evidently at work some slow revolution. Her visionary abstractions were less frequent; when they occurred, less prolonged. There was no longer in her soft face that celestial serenity which spoke her content in her dreams, but often a look of anxiety and trouble. She was even more silent than before; but when she did speak, there were now evident some struggling gleams of memory. She startled us, at times, by a distinct allusion to the events and scenes of her early childhood. More than once she spoke of commonplace incidents and mere acquaintances at L——. At last she seemed to recognize Mrs. Ashleigh as her mother; but me, as Allen Fenwick, her betrothed, her bridegroom, no! Once or twice she spoke to me of her beloved as of a stranger to myself, and asked me not to deceive her—should she ever see him again? There was one change in this new phase of her state that wounded me to the quick. She had always previously seemed to welcome my presence; now there were hours, sometimes days together, in which my presence was evidently painful to her. She would become agitated when I stole into her room, make signs to me to leave her, grow yet more disturbed if I did not immediately obey, and become calm again when I was gone.
Months have passed since the night Lilian waited for my arrival in the cold air—under the eerie moon. I mentioned that since then, her health started to decline gradually, but in her mind, something was clearly shifting. Her daydreams happened less often and lasted for shorter periods. Her gentle face no longer showed that heavenly calm that reflected her happiness in her dreams; instead, it often wore an expression of anxiety and worry. She was even quieter than before, but when she did speak, there were clear flashes of memory struggling to come through. Sometimes, she surprised us by mentioning events and people from her early childhood. More than once, she talked about ordinary incidents and casual acquaintances from L——. Eventually, she seemed to recognize Mrs. Ashleigh as her mother; but me, as Allen Fenwick, her fiancé, her groom—no! A couple of times, she referred to her beloved as if he were a stranger to me and asked if I would deceive her—would she ever see him again? There was one change in this new phase of her state that cut me deeply. She had always seemed happy to see me; now, there were hours, sometimes days, when my presence clearly upset her. She would get agitated when I quietly entered her room, gesture for me to leave, become even more distressed if I didn't leave right away, and would only relax again once I was gone.
Faber sought constantly to sustain my courage and administer to my hopes by reminding me of the prediction he had hazarded,—namely, that through some malady to the frame the reason would be ultimately restored.
Faber constantly tried to boost my courage and manage my hopes by reminding me of the prediction he had made—that eventually, due to some physical illness, my reasoning would be restored.
He said, “Observe! her mind was first roused from its slumber by the affectionate, unconquered impulse of her heart. You were absent; the storm alarmed her, she missed you,—feared for you. The love within her, not alienated, though latent, drew her thoughts into definite human tracks. And thus, the words that you tell me she uttered when you appeared before her were words of love, stricken, though as yet irregularly, as the winds strike the harp-strings from chords of awakened memory. The same unwonted excitement, together with lengthened exposure to the cold night-air, will account for the shock to her physical system, and the languor and waste of strength by which it has been succeeded.”
He said, “Look! Her mind was first awakened from its sleep by the loving, unstoppable urge of her heart. You were not there; the storm scared her, she missed you—worried about you. The love inside her, still present though hidden, focused her thoughts on you. So, the words you told me she spoke when you showed up were words of love, though still unsteady, like the winds striking the harp strings from memories that have been stirred. The same unusual excitement, along with being exposed to the cold night air for a long time, explains the shock to her body, as well as the weakness and loss of energy that followed.”
“Ay, and the Shadow that we both saw within the threshold. What of that?”
“Ay, and the shadow that we both saw in the doorway. What about that?”
“Are there no records on evidence, which most physicians of very extended practice will perhaps allow that their experience more or less tend to confirm—no records of the singular coincidences between individual impressions which are produced by sympathy? Now, whether you or your Lilian were first haunted by this Shadow I know not. Perhaps before it appeared to you in the wizard’s chamber it had appeared to her by the Monks’ Well. Perhaps, as it came to you in the prison, so it lured her through the solitudes, associating its illusory guidance with dreams of you. And again, when she saw it within your threshold, your fantasy, so abruptly invoked, made you see with the eyes of your Lilian! Does this doctrine of sympathy, though by that very mystery you two loved each other at first,—though, without it, love at first sight were in itself an incredible miracle,—does, I say, this doctrine of sympathy seem to you inadmissible? Then nothing is left for us but to revolve the conjecture I before threw out. Have certain organizations like that of Margrave the power to impress, through space, the imaginations of those over whom they have forced a control? I know not. But if they have, it is not supernatural; it is but one of those operations in Nature so rare and exceptional, and of which testimony and evidence are so imperfect and so liable to superstitious illusions, that they have not yet been traced—as, if truthful, no doubt they can be, by the patient genius of science—to one of those secondary causes by which the Creator ordains that Nature shall act on Man.”
“Are there no records on evidence that most experienced doctors would agree their practice somewhat backs up—no records of the unique coincidences created by sympathy? Now, I don't know whether you or your Lilian were first haunted by this Shadow. Maybe it appeared to her by the Monks' Well before it came to you in the wizard's chamber. Perhaps, just as it found you in the prison, it led her through solitude, connecting its misleading guidance with dreams of you. And again, when she saw it at your doorstep, your imagination, so suddenly stirred, made you see through Lilian's eyes! Does this idea of sympathy, through which you both fell in love at first sight—without it, love at first sight would be an incredible miracle—seem untenable to you? Then we have no choice but to revisit the idea I mentioned earlier. Do certain individuals like Margrave possess the ability to influence the thoughts of those they have control over, even from a distance? I don’t know. But if they do, it’s not supernatural; it’s just one of those uncommon and exceptional occurrences in Nature, where the evidence is so imperfect and prone to superstitious misinterpretations that they haven't been linked—though they could be, if accurately explored by dedicated science—to one of those underlying causes that the Creator uses to allow Nature to affect Man.”
By degrees I became dissatisfied with my conversations with Faber. I yearned for explanations; all guesses but bewildered me more. In his family, with one exception, I found no congenial association. His nephew seemed to me an ordinary specimen of a very trite human nature,—a young man of limited ideas, fair moral tendencies, going mechanically right where not tempted to wrong. The same desire of gain which had urged him to gamble and speculate when thrown in societies rife with such example, led him, now in the Bush, to healthful, industrious, persevering labour. “Spes fovet agricolas,” says the poet; the same Hope which entices the fish to the hook impels the plough of the husband-man. The young farmer’s young wife was somewhat superior to him; she had more refinement of taste, more culture of mind, but, living in his life, she was inevitably levelled to his ends and pursuits; and, next to the babe in the cradle, no object seemed to her so important as that of guarding the sheep from the scab and the dingoes. I was amazed to see how quietly a man whose mind was so stored by life and by books as that of Julius Faber—a man who had loved the clash of conflicting intellects, and acquired the rewards of fame—could accommodate himself to the cabined range of his kinsfolks’ half-civilized existence, take interest in their trivial talk, find varying excitement in the monotonous household of a peasant-like farmer. I could not help saying as much to him once. “My friend,” replied the old man, “believe me that the happiest art of intellect, however lofty, is that which enables it to be cheerfully at home with the Real!”
Gradually, I started feeling unsatisfied with my conversations with Faber. I craved explanations; all the guesses just confused me more. In his family, with one exception, I found no real connection. His nephew seemed like a typical example of very ordinary humanity—a young man with limited ideas, decent morals, going along with what was right unless tempted to do wrong. The same desire for gain that had driven him to gamble and take risks in environments full of that kind of behavior now pushed him, here in the Bush, towards healthy, hardworking, persistent labor. “Hope nourishes the farmers,” the poet says; the same Hope that lures fish to the hook drives the plow for the farmer. The young farmer's wife was somewhat better than him; she had a more refined taste and a more cultured mind, but living his life inevitably brought her down to his goals and pursuits; next to the baby in the cradle, nothing seemed as important to her as protecting the sheep from scab and dingoes. I was amazed to see how easily a man whose mind was filled with life experiences and books, like Julius Faber—a man who had enjoyed the clash of conflicting ideas and achieved fame—could adapt to the limited world of his family's half-civilized existence, show interest in their trivial conversations, and find excitement in the repetitive life of a peasant-like farmer. I couldn't help but mention this to him once. “My friend,” the old man replied, “believe me, the happiest form of intellect, no matter how lofty, is the one that can cheerfully engage with the Real!”
The only one of the family in which Faber was domesticated in whom I found an interest, to whose talk I could listen without fatigue, was the child Amy. Simple though she was in language, patient of labour as the most laborious, I recognized in her a quiet nobleness of sentiment, which exalted above the commonplace the acts of her commonplace life. She had no precocious intellect, no enthusiastic fancies, but she had an exquisite activity of heart. It was her heart that animated her sense of duty, and made duty a sweetness and a joy. She felt to the core the kindness of those around her; exaggerated, with the warmth of her gratitude, the claims which that kindness imposed. Even for the blessing of life, which she shared with all creation, she felt as if singled out by the undeserved favour of the Creator, and thus was filled with religion, because she was filled with love.
The only person in the family that I found interesting and could listen to without getting bored was the child, Amy. Although her language was simple and her work ethic matched that of the hardest workers, I saw in her a quiet nobility of spirit that elevated the ordinary actions of her everyday life. She didn’t have a mature intellect or wild dreams, but she possessed a beautiful compassion. It was her heart that drove her sense of duty, turning responsibility into something sweet and joyful. She felt deeply the kindness from those around her and magnified, with the warmth of her gratitude, the expectations that kindness brought with it. Even for the gift of life, which she shared with all of creation, she felt like she was specially chosen by the Creator's unmerited grace, and because of that, she was filled with a sense of faith, rooted in her love.
My interest in this child was increased and deepened by my saddened and not wholly unremorseful remembrance of the night on which her sobs had pierced my ear,—the night from which I secretly dated the mysterious agencies that had wrenched from their proper field and career both my mind and my life. But a gentler interest endeared her to my thoughts in the pleasure that Lilian felt in her visits, in the affectionate intercourse that sprang up between the afflicted sufferer and the harmless infant. Often when we failed to comprehend some meaning which Lilian evidently wished to convey to us—we, her mother and her husband—she was understood with as much ease by Amy, the unlettered child, as by Faber, the gray-haired thinker.
My interest in this child grew deeper because I remembered with sadness, and some remorse, the night when her cries pierced my ears—the night I secretly marked as the beginning of the strange forces that had pulled both my mind and my life away from their rightful paths. However, a gentler interest made her dear to me because of the joy Lilian found in her visits and the affectionate bond that formed between the suffering child and the innocent little one. Often, when Lilian wanted to communicate something that her mother and husband struggled to understand, Amy, the uneducated child, grasped it just as easily as Faber, the wise old thinker.
“How is it,—how is it?” I asked, impatiently and jealously, of Faber. “Love is said to interpret where wisdom fails, and you yourself talk of the marvels which sympathy may effect between lover and beloved; yet when, for days together, I cannot succeed in unravelling Lilian’s wish or her thought—and her own mother is equally in fault—you or Amy, closeted alone with her for five minutes, comprehend and are comprehended.”
“How is it,—how is it?” I asked Faber, feeling impatient and jealous. “They say love understands what wisdom cannot, and you yourself talk about the wonders that sympathy can create between lovers; yet when I can’t figure out what Lilian wants or thinks for days on end—and her own mother is just as confused—you or Amy, spending just five minutes alone with her, seem to get it and be understood.”
“Allen,” answered Faber, “Amy and I believe in spirit; and she, in whom mind is dormant but spirit awake, feels in such belief a sympathy which she has not, in that respect, with yourself, nor even with her mother. You seek only through your mind to conjecture hers. Her mother has sense clear enough where habitual experience can guide it, but that sense is confused, and forsakes her when forced from the regular pathway in which it has been accustomed to tread. Amy and I through soul guess at soul, and though mostly contented with earth, we can both rise at times into heaven. We pray.”
“Allen,” Faber replied, “Amy and I believe in spirit; and she, who may not always be thinking clearly but has her spirit awake, finds a connection in that belief that she doesn’t share with you or even with her mother. You only try to figure her out with your mind. Her mother has enough clarity of thought where regular experience guides her, but that clarity gets muddled and fails when she’s taken off the usual path she’s used to. Amy and I connect through our souls, and although we are mostly happy with the earthly life, we can both occasionally rise into something higher. We pray.”
“Alas!” said I, half mournfully, half angrily, “when you thus speak of Mind as distinct from Soul, it was only in that Vision which you bid me regard as the illusion of a fancy stimulated by chemical vapours, producing on the brain an effect similar to that of opium or the inhalation of the oxide gas, that I have ever seen the silver spark of the Soul distinct from the light of the Mind. And holding, as I do, that all intellectual ideas are derived from the experiences of the body, whether I accept the theory of Locke, or that of Condillac, or that into which their propositions reach their final development in the wonderful subtlety of Hume, I cannot detect the immaterial spirit in the material substance,—much less follow its escape from the organic matter in which the principle of thought ceases with the principle of life. When the metaphysician, contending for the immortality of the thinking faculty, analyzes Mind, his analysis comprehends the mind of the brute, nay, of the insect, as well as that of man. Take Reid’s definition of Mind, as the most comprehensive which I can at the moment remember: ‘By the mind of a man we understand that in him which thinks, remembers, reasons, and wills.(1) But this definition only distinguishes the mind of man from that of the brute by superiority in the same attributes, and not by attributes denied to the brute. An animal, even an insect, thinks, remembers, reasons, and wills.(1) Few naturalists will now support the doctrine that all the mental operations of brute or insect are to be exclusively referred to instincts; and, even if they do, the word ‘instinct’ is a very vague word,—loose and large enough to cover an abyss which our knowledge has not sounded. And, indeed, in proportion as an animal like the dog becomes cultivated by intercourse, his instincts grow weaker, and his ideas formed by experience (namely, his mind), more developed, often to the conquest of the instincts themselves. Hence, with his usual candour, Dr. Abercrombie—in contending ‘that everything mental ceases to exist after death, when we know that everything corporeal continues to exist, is a gratuitous assumption contrary to every rule of philosophical inquiry’—feels compelled, by his reasoning, to admit the probability of a future life even to the lower animals. His words are: ‘To this anode of reasoning it has been objected that it would go to establish an immaterial principle in the lower animals which in them exhibits many of the phenomena of mind. I have only to answer, Be it so. There are in the lower animals many of the phenomena of mind, and with regard to these, we also contend that they are entirely distinct from anything we know of the properties of matter, which is all that we mean, or can mean, by being immaterial.‘(2) Am I then driven to admit that if man’s mind is immaterial and imperishable, so also is that of the ape and the ant?”
“Alas!” I said, half mournfully, half angrily, “when you talk about the Mind as separate from the Soul, the only time I’ve ever seen a difference—what you want me to see as just an illusion created by chemical vapors affecting the brain, similar to opium or inhaling gas—is in that Vision. I believe that all intellectual ideas come from bodily experiences, whether I lean towards Locke’s theory, Condillac’s, or the final development of their ideas in the intricate reasoning of Hume. I can’t find the immaterial spirit in the material substance, and it’s even harder to follow its departure from the organic matter where thought stops when life does. When a philosopher pushes for the immortality of the thinking mind and breaks down the concept of Mind, their analysis includes the minds of animals, even insects, alongside those of humans. Take Reid’s definition of Mind, which I can remember: ‘By the mind of a man we understand that in him which thinks, remembers, reasons, and wills.' But this definition just highlights how human minds are superior to animal minds in the same capabilities, not by unique attributes that animals lack. Animals, even insects, think, remember, reason, and will. Few naturalists these days still argue that all mental functions in animals are just instincts, and even if they do, the term ‘instinct’ is really vague—broad enough to cover a gap our knowledge hasn’t explored. Indeed, as an animal like a dog becomes more socialized, its instincts weaken, while its experience-based ideas (essentially, its mind) develop more, often overriding its instincts. Thus, with his usual honesty, Dr. Abercrombie—arguing ‘that everything mental ceases to exist after death, while we know that everything physical persists, is an unfounded assumption that goes against every rule of philosophical investigation’—feels compelled by his reasoning to admit the possibility of an afterlife even for lower animals. His words are: ‘To this line of reasoning it has been argued that it would support the idea of an immaterial principle in lower animals, which shows many mind-like phenomena. I can only reply, So be it. There are indeed many mind-like phenomena in lower animals, and concerning these, we assert that they are completely distinct from anything we understand about the properties of matter, which is all we mean, or can mean, by being immaterial.’ Am I then forced to accept that if a human’s mind is immaterial and everlasting, so is that of the ape and the ant?”
“I own,” said Faber, with his peculiar smile, arch and genial, “that if I were compelled to make that admission, it would not shock my pride. I do not presume to set any limit to the goodness of the Creator; and should be as humbly pleased as the Indian, if in—
“I admit,” said Faber, with his unique smile, playful and friendly, “that if I had to make that admission, it wouldn’t hurt my pride. I don’t limit the greatness of the Creator; I would feel just as humbly happy as the Indian, if in—
“‘yonder sky, My faithful dog should bear me company.’
“‘That sky, my loyal dog should keep me company.’”
“You are too familiar with the works of that Titan in wisdom and error, Descartes, not to recollect the interesting correspondence between the urbane philosopher and our combative countryman, Henry More,(3) on this very subject; in which certainly More has the best of it when Descartes insists on reducing what he calls the soul (l’ame) of brutes into the same kind of machines as man constructs from inorganized matter. The learning, indeed, lavished on the insoluble question involved in the psychology of the inferior animals is a proof at least of the all-inquisitive, redundant spirit of man.(4) We have almost a literature in itself devoted to endeavours to interpret the language of brutes.(5) Dupont de Nemours has discovered that dogs talk in vowels, using only two consonants, G, Z, when they are angry. He asserts that cats employ the same vowels as dogs; but their language is more affluent in consonants, including M, N, B, R, V, F. How many laborious efforts have been made to define and to construe the song of the nightingale! One version of that song, by Beckstein, the naturalist, published in 1840, I remember to have seen. And I heard a lady, gifted with a singularly charming voice, chant the mysterious vowels with so exquisite a pathos, that one could not refuse to believe her when she declared that she fully comprehended the bird’s meaning, and gave to the nightingale’s warble the tender interpretation of her own woman’s heart.
"You are too familiar with the works of that great thinker, Descartes, not to remember the fascinating correspondence between the sophisticated philosopher and our outspoken countryman, Henry More, on this very topic; in which More definitely comes out on top when Descartes argues that what he calls the soul of animals is simply the same type of machine that humans create from unorganized matter. The extensive attention given to the endlessly complex question of animal psychology at least shows the endlessly curious and excessive nature of humanity. We almost have a literature dedicated to trying to interpret animal communication. Dupont de Nemours has found that dogs communicate using vowels, only employing two consonants, G and Z, when they're angry. He claims that cats use the same vowels as dogs, but their communication includes more consonants like M, N, B, R, V, and F. So many painstaking efforts have been made to define and interpret the nightingale's song! I remember seeing one version of that song by Beckstein, the naturalist, published in 1840. And I once heard a lady, blessed with a uniquely beautiful voice, sing the mysterious vowels with such deep emotion that it was hard not to believe her when she said she completely understood what the bird meant, giving the nightingale's trill the tender interpretation of her own woman’s heart."
“But leaving all such discussions to their proper place amongst the Curiosities of Literature, I come in earnest to the question you have so earnestly raised; and to me the distinction between man and the lower animals in reference to a spiritual nature designed for a future existence, and the mental operations whose uses are bounded to an existence on earth, seems ineffaceably clear. Whether ideas or even perceptions be innate or all formed by experience is a speculation for metaphysicians, which, so far as it affects the question of as immaterial principle, I am quite willing to lay aside. I can well understand that a materialist may admit innate ideas in Man, as he must admit them in the instinct of brutes, tracing them to hereditary predispositions. On the other hand, we know that the most devout believers in our spiritual nature have insisted, with Locke, in denying any idea, even of the Deity, to be innate.
“But putting aside all those discussions for the right context among the Curiosities of Literature, I want to focus seriously on the question you’ve raised so passionately. To me, the difference between humans and lower animals regarding a spiritual nature intended for an afterlife, and the mental processes that are limited to our earthly existence, seems undeniably clear. Whether ideas or even perceptions are innate or entirely shaped by experience is a debate for philosophers, which I’m happy to set aside as it relates to the question of an immaterial principle. I can certainly understand that a materialist might accept innate ideas in humans, just as he would acknowledge them in the instincts of animals, attributing them to inherited traits. Conversely, we know that the most devoted believers in our spiritual nature have argued, like Locke, that no idea, not even of God, is innate.”
“But here comes my argument. I care not how ideas are formed,—the material point is, how are the capacities to receive ideas formed? The ideas may all come from experience, but the capacity to receive the ideas must be inherent. I take the word ‘capacity’ as a good plain English word, rather than the more technical word ‘receptivity,’ employed by Kant. And by capacity I mean the passive power(6) to receive ideas, whether in man or in any living thing by which ideas are received. A man and an elephant is each formed with capacities to receive ideas suited to the several places in the universe held by each.
“But here comes my point. I don’t care how ideas are formed—what’s really important is, how are our abilities to accept ideas developed? The ideas might all come from experience, but the ability to accept those ideas has to be inherent. I prefer the word ‘capacity’ as a straightforward English term, rather than the more technical term ‘receptivity’ used by Kant. By capacity, I mean the passive ability to receive ideas, whether in humans or any living creature that can take in ideas. A person and an elephant are each equipped with abilities to receive ideas that are suited to the different roles they occupy in the world.”
“The more I look through Nature the more I find that on all varieties of organized life is carefully bestowed the capacity to receive the impressions, be they called perceptions or ideas, which are adapted to the uses each creature is intended to derive from them. I find, then, that Man alone is endowed with the capacity to receive the ideas of a God, of Soul, of Worship, of a Hereafter. I see no trace of such a capacity in the inferior races; nor, however their intelligence may be refined by culture, is such capacity ever apparent in them.
“The more I explore Nature, the more I notice that every type of organized life has been given the ability to take in the impressions, whether called perceptions or ideas, that are suited to the purposes each creature is meant to fulfill. I find that only humans have the ability to grasp the concepts of God, the Soul, Worship, and an Afterlife. I see no evidence of such an ability in the lower races; nor, no matter how much their intelligence may be enhanced by culture, does such ability ever seem to be present in them.”
“But wherever capacities to receive impressions are sufficiently general in any given species of creature to be called universal to that species, and yet not given to another species, then, from all analogy throughout Nature, those capacities are surely designed by Providence for the distinct use and conservation of the species to which they are given.
“But wherever the ability to receive impressions is broad enough in a certain type of creature to be considered universal for that species, and yet not found in another species, then, based on the patterns we see in Nature, those abilities are clearly intended by Providence for the specific purpose and preservation of the species that possess them.”
“It is no answer to me to say that the inherent capacities thus bestowed on Man do not suffice in themselves to make him form right notions of a Deity or a Hereafter; because it is plainly the design of Providence that Man must learn to correct and improve all his notions by his own study and observation. He must build a hut before he can build a Parthenon; he must believe with the savage or the heathen before he can believe with the philosopher or Christian. In a word, in all his capacities, Man has only given to him, not the immediate knowledge of the Perfect, but the means to strive towards the Perfect. And thus one of the most accomplished of modern reasoners, to whose lectures you must have listened with delight, in your college days, says well:—
“It’s not enough to say that the natural abilities given to humans don’t, by themselves, allow them to form correct ideas about a Deity or an afterlife. Clearly, it’s part of Providence’s plan that humans need to refine and enhance their beliefs through their own study and observation. A person has to build a simple house before they can create a Parthenon; they must believe like a primitive or a pagan before they can believe like a philosopher or a Christian. In short, humans are equipped only with the means to strive for perfection, not the immediate knowledge of the Perfect itself. And so, one of the most skilled modern thinkers, whose lectures you probably enjoyed during your college years, puts it perfectly:—”
“‘Accordingly the sciences always studied with keenest interest are those in a state of progress and uncertainty; absolute certainty and absolute completion would be the paralysis of any study, and the last worst calamity that could befall Man, as he is at present constituted, would be that full and final possession of speculative truth which he now vainly anticipates as the consummation of his intellectual happiness.‘(7)
“Accordingly, the sciences that people are always most interested in are the ones that are still evolving and uncertain; complete certainty and total completion would paralyze any field of study, and the worst fate that could happen to humanity, as we are now, would be achieving the full and final understanding of speculative truth, which we currently foolishly expect as the ultimate achievement of our intellectual happiness.”(7)
“Well, then, in all those capacities for the reception of impressions from external Nature which are given to Man and not to the brutes, I see the evidence of Man’s Soul. I can understand why the inferior animal has no capacity to receive the idea of a Deity and of Worship—simply because the inferior animal, even if graciously admitted to a future life, may not therein preserve the sense of its identity. I can understand even why that sympathy with each other which we men possess and which constitutes the great virtue we emphatically call Humanity, is not possessed by the lesser animals (or, at least, in a very rare and exceptional degree) even where they live in communities, like beavers, or bees, or ants; because men are destined to meet, to know, and to love each other in the life to come, and the bond between the brute ceases here.
“Well, in all the ways we humans can take in impressions from the outside world that animals can't, I see proof of our Soul. I understand why lower animals can't grasp the idea of a God or the concept of Worship—it's simply because, even if they were granted life after death, they might not retain their sense of self. I even get why the empathy we humans share, which is the core of what we call Humanity, isn't found in lesser animals (or at least is extremely rare) even in species that live in groups, like beavers, bees, or ants; because humans are meant to connect, recognize, and love each other in the afterlife, while animals’ connections end here.”
“Now the more, then, we examine the inherent capacities bestowed distinctly and solely on Man, the more they seem to distinguish him from the other races by their comprehension of objects beyond his life upon this earth.
“Now the more we look into the unique abilities given specifically to Man, the more they seem to set him apart from other beings by understanding things beyond his life on this earth."
“‘Man alone,’ says Muller, ‘can conceive abstract notions; and it is in abstract notions—such as time, space, matter, spirit, light, form, quantity, essence—that man grounds, not only all philosophy, all science, but all that practically improves one generation for the benefit of the next.’
“‘Only humans,’ says Muller, ‘can understand abstract concepts; and it is through abstract concepts—like time, space, matter, spirit, light, form, quantity, and essence—that humans build not only all of philosophy and science, but everything that practically advances one generation for the benefit of the next.’
“And why? Because all these abstract notions unconsciously lead the mind away from the material into the immaterial,—from the present into the future. But if Man ceases to exist when he disappears in the grave, you must be compelled to affirm that he is the only creature in existence whom Nature or Providence has condescended to deceive and cheat by capacities for which there are no available objects. How nobly and how truly has Chalmers said:—
“And why? Because all these abstract ideas unconsciously divert the mind away from the material to the immaterial—from the present to the future. But if a person ceases to exist when they disappear in the grave, then you must admit that they are the only being in existence whom Nature or Providence has chosen to deceive and trick with abilities that have no real purpose. How nobly and how accurately Chalmers has said:—
“‘What inference shall we draw from this remarkable law in Nature that there is nothing waste and nothing meaningless in the feelings and faculties wherewith living creatures are endowed? For each desire there is a counterpart object; for each faculty there is room and opportunity for exercise either in the present or the coming futurity. Now, but for the doctrine of immortality, Man would be an exception to this law,-he would stand forth as an anomaly in Nature, with aspirations in his heart for which the universe had no antitype to offer, with capacities of understanding and thought that never were to be followed by objects of corresponding greatness through the whole history of his being! ............ “‘With the inferior animals there is a certain squareness of adjustment, if we may so term it, between each desire and its correspondent gratification. The one is evenly met by the other, and there is a fulness and definiteness of enjoyment up to the capacity of enjoyment. Not so with Man, who, both from the vastness of his propensities and the vastness of his powers, feels himself chained and beset in a field too narrow for him. He alone labours under the discomfort of an incongruity between his circumstances and his powers; and unless there be new circumstances awaiting him in a more advanced state of being, he, the noblest of Nature’s products here, would turn out to be the greatest of her failures.‘(8)
“‘What conclusion should we draw from this incredible law in Nature that nothing is wasted and nothing is meaningless in the feelings and abilities that living beings possess? For every desire, there is a corresponding object; for every ability, there is space and opportunity for action either now or in the future. If it weren't for the belief in immortality, humans would be an exception to this law—they would appear as an anomaly in Nature, with aspirations in their hearts for which the universe had no matching reality to offer, with capacities for understanding and thought that would never be matched by objects of similar significance throughout the entirety of their existence! ............ “‘With lower animals, there is a certain balance, if we can put it that way, between each desire and its corresponding satisfaction. One is evenly met by the other, and there is a fullness and clarity of enjoyment limited only by the capacity for enjoyment. But not so with humans, who, because of the enormity of their desires and the vastness of their abilities, feel trapped and constrained in a space that is too small for them. They alone suffer from the discomfort of a mismatch between their circumstances and their abilities; and unless there are new conditions waiting for them in a higher state of existence, they, the most noble of Nature’s creations here, would end up being the greatest of her failures.'(8)
“This, then, I take to be the proof of Soul in Man, not that he has a mind—because, as you justly say, inferior animals have that, though in a lesser degree—but because he has the capacities to comprehend, as soon as he is capable of any abstract ideas whatsoever, the very truths not needed for self-conservation on earth, and therefore not given to yonder ox and opossum,—namely, the nature of Deity, Soul, Hereafter. And in the recognition of these truths, the Human society, that excels the society of beavers, bees, and ants, by perpetual and progressive improvement on the notions inherited from its progenitors, rests its basis. Thus, in fact, this world is benefited for men by their belief in the next, while the society of brutes remains age after age the same. Neither the bee nor the beaver has, in all probability, improved since the Deluge.
“This, then, I take to be the proof of the soul in humans, not that they have a mind—because, as you rightly pointed out, lower animals have that too, though to a lesser extent—but because they have the ability to understand, as soon as they are capable of any abstract ideas, the very truths that aren't necessary for survival on earth, and therefore aren't known to that ox and opossum—namely, the nature of Deity, the soul, and the afterlife. And in recognizing these truths, human society, which surpasses the societies of beavers, bees, and ants through continuous and progressive improvement on the ideas passed down from its ancestors, establishes its foundation. Thus, in reality, this world is made better for humans by their belief in the next, while the societies of animals remain unchanged from age to age. Neither the bee nor the beaver has, in all likelihood, improved since the Flood.”
“But inseparable from the conviction of these truths is the impulse of prayer and worship. It does not touch my argument when a philosopher of the school of Bolingbroke or Lucretius says, ‘that the origin of prayer is in Man’s ignorance of the phenomena of Nature.’ That it is fear or ignorance which, ‘when rocked the mountains or when groaned the ground, taught the weak to bend, the proud to pray.’ My answer is, the brutes are much more forcibly impressed by natural phenomena than Man is; the bird and the beast know before you and I do when the mountain will rock and the ground groan, and their instinct leads them to shelter; but it does not lead them to prayer. If my theory be right that Soul is to be sought not in the question whether mental ideas be innate or formed by experience, by the sense, by association or habit, but in the inherent capacity to receive ideas, then, the capacity bestowed on Man alone, to be impressed by Nature herself with the idea of a Power superior to Nature, with which Power he can establish commune, is a proof that to Man alone the Maker has made Nature itself proclaim His existence,—that to Man alone the Deity vouchsafes the communion with Himself which comes from prayer.”
“But closely linked to the belief in these truths is the urge for prayer and worship. It doesn’t change my argument when a philosopher from the school of Bolingbroke or Lucretius claims that the origin of prayer comes from human ignorance of nature's phenomena. They argue that it is fear or ignorance that, ‘when the mountains shook or the ground trembled, taught the weak to bend and the proud to pray.’ My response is that animals are much more strongly affected by natural phenomena than humans are; birds and beasts know before we do when the mountain will shake and the ground will rumble, and their instincts lead them to find shelter, but they do not lead them to pray. If my theory is correct that the Soul is not found in whether mental ideas are innate or created by experience, through the senses, or by association or habit, but in the natural ability to receive ideas, then the unique ability given to humans to be moved by nature itself to recognize a power greater than nature, with which they can communicate, is evidence that only humans have been given the ability to make nature itself declare God’s existence—that only humans are granted the communion with the Divine that comes through prayer.”
“Even were this so,” said I, “is not the Creator omniscient? If all-wise, all-foreseeing? If all-foreseeing, all-pre-ordaining? Can the prayer of His creature alter the ways of His will?”
“Even if that's the case,” I said, “isn’t the Creator all-knowing? If He’s all-wise, all-seeing? If He’s all-seeing, all-controlling? Can the prayer of His creation change the course of His will?”
“For the answer to a question,” returned Faber, “which is not unfrequently asked by the clever men of the world, I ought to refer you to the skilled theologians who have so triumphantly carried the reasoner over that ford of doubt which is crossed every day by the infant. But as we have not their books in the wilderness, I am contented to draw my reply as a necessary and logical sequence from the propositions I have sought to ground on the plain observation of Nature. I can only guess at the Deity’s Omniscience, or His modes of enforcing His power by the observation of His general laws; and of all His laws, I know of none more general than the impulse which bids men pray,—which makes Nature so act, that all the phenomena of Nature we can conceive, however startling and inexperienced, do not make the brute pray, but there is not a trouble that can happen to Man, but what his impulse is to pray,—always provided, indeed, that he is not a philosopher. I say not this in scorn of the philosopher, to whose wildest guess our obligations are infinite, but simply because for all which is impulsive to Man, there is a reason in Nature which no philosophy can explain away. I do not, then, bewilder myself by seeking to bind and limit the Omniscience of the Deity to my finite ideas. I content myself with supposing that somehow or other, He has made it quite compatible with His Omniscience that Man should obey the impulse which leads him to believe that, in addressing a Deity, he is addressing a tender, compassionate, benignant Father, and in that obedience shall obtain beneficial results. If that impulse be an illusion, then we must say that Heaven governs the earth by a lie; and that is impossible, because, reasoning by analogy, all Nature is truthful,—that is, Nature gives to no species instincts or impulses which are not of service to it. Should I not be a shallow physician if, where I find in the human organization a principle or a property so general that I must believe it normal to the healthful conditions of that organization, I should refuse to admit that Nature intended it for use? Reasoning by all analogy, must I not say the habitual neglect of its use must more or less injure the harmonious well-being of the whole human system? I could have much to add upon the point in dispute by which the creed implied in your question would enthrall the Divine mercy by the necessities of its Divine wisdom, and substitute for a benignant Deity a relentless Fate. But here I should exceed my province. I am no theologian. Enough for me that in all my afflictions, all my perplexities, an impulse, that I obey as an instinct, moves me at once to prayer. Do I find by experience that the prayer is heard, that the affliction is removed, the doubt is solved? That, indeed, would be presumptuous to say. But it is not presumptuous to think that by the efficacy of prayer my heart becomes more fortified against the sorrow, and my reason more serene amidst the doubt.”
“For the answer to a question,” Faber replied, “which is often asked by the smart people in the world, I should refer you to the skilled theologians who have successfully helped others navigate that river of doubt that everyone crosses, even children. But since we don’t have their books available in this wilderness, I’m happy to draw my answer from the straightforward observations of Nature. I can only speculate about God’s all-knowing nature or how He enforces His power through His general laws; and of all His laws, I know of none more universal than the instinct that drives people to pray. Nature has a way that ensures all its phenomena, no matter how surprising or unfamiliar, don’t cause animals to pray, yet every trouble that befalls humans triggers an impulse to pray—unless, of course, the person is a philosopher. I don’t say this to belittle philosophers, to whom we owe a great deal, but simply because everything that drives humans has a reason in Nature that no philosophy can dismiss. Therefore, I don’t confuse myself by trying to restrict and limit God’s all-knowing nature to my limited understanding. I’m satisfied with the idea that for some reason, He has made it compatible with His all-knowing nature for humans to follow the impulse that makes them believe that when addressing Him, they are speaking to a kind, caring, and benevolent Father, and that by following this impulse, they’ll receive positive outcomes. If that impulse is an illusion, then we must conclude that Heaven runs the earth through deceit, which is impossible, because, reasoning by analogy, all of Nature is truthful—that is, Nature gives no species instincts or impulses that aren’t beneficial. Wouldn’t I be a shallow doctor if I found a principle in the human body so universal that I must believe it’s normal for a healthy state, yet refused to acknowledge that Nature meant it for use? If I reason by all analogy, shouldn’t I assert that the regular avoidance of this use must harm the overall well-being of the human system? I could add much more on the subject regarding how the belief implied in your question would bind divine mercy to the requirements of divine wisdom and replace a kind God with an unyielding Fate. But I should stop there since I’m no theologian. It’s enough for me that in all my troubles and uncertainties, an instinct I follow drives me to pray. Do I find, through experience, that my prayers are heard, that my troubles are lifted, that my doubts are cleared? It would indeed be presumptuous to claim that. But it’s not presumptuous to think that through the effectiveness of prayer, my heart becomes stronger against sorrow, and my mind more peaceful amidst doubt.”
I listened, and ceased to argue. I felt as if in that solitude, and in the pause of my wonted mental occupations, my intellect was growing languid, and its old weapons rusting in disuse. My pride took alarm. I had so from my boyhood cherished the idea of fame, and so glorified the search after knowledge, that I recoiled in dismay from the thought that I had relinquished knowledge, and cut myself off from fame. I resolved to resume my once favourite philosophical pursuits, re-examine and complete the Work to which I had once committed my hopes of renown; and, simultaneously, a restless desire seized me to communicate, though but at brief intervals, with other minds than those immediately within my reach,—minds fresh from the old world, and reviving the memories of its vivid civilization. Emigrants frequently passed my doors, but I had hitherto shrunk from tendering the hospitalities so universally accorded in the colony. I could not endure to expose to such rough strangers my Lilian’s mournful affliction, and that thought was not less intolerable to Mrs. Ashleigh. I now hastily constructed a log-building a few hundred yards from the house, and near the main track taken by travellers through the spacious pastures. I transported to this building my books and scientific instruments. In an upper story I placed my telescopes and lenses, my crucibles and retorts. I renewed my chemical experiments; I sought to invigorate my mind by other branches of science which I had hitherto less cultured,—meditated new theories on Light and Colour, collected specimens in Natural History, subjected animalcules to my microscope, geological fossils to my hammer. With all these quickened occupations of thought, I strove to distract myself from sorrow, and strengthen my reason against the illusion of my fantasy. The Luminous Shadow was not seen again on my wall, and the thought of Margrave himself was banished.
I listened and stopped arguing. I felt like, in that solitude and the break from my usual thinking, my mind was growing dull, and my old skills were rusting from lack of use. My pride was alarmed. I had cherished the idea of fame since I was a kid and had glorified the pursuit of knowledge, so the thought that I had given up knowledge and cut myself off from fame shocked me. I decided to pick up my once favorite philosophical pursuits again, re-examine and finish the work I had once pinned my hopes on for recognition; at the same time, I had a restless urge to connect, even if just briefly, with minds outside my immediate environment—minds fresh from the old world, bringing back memories of its vibrant civilization. Emigrants frequently passed by my doors, but I had previously hesitated to extend the hospitality that was so commonly offered in the colony. I couldn’t bear to expose my Lilian’s sad affliction to such rough strangers, and that thought was equally unbearable for Mrs. Ashleigh. I quickly put up a log building a few hundred yards from the house, close to the main path used by travelers through the spacious pastures. I moved my books and scientific instruments there. On the upper floor, I set up my telescopes and lenses, my crucibles and retorts. I resumed my chemical experiments; I tried to energize my mind by exploring other branches of science I hadn't focused on as much—developed new theories on Light and Color, collected specimens in Natural History, looked at tiny organisms under my microscope, and smashed geological fossils with my hammer. With all these invigorated mental activities, I tried to distract myself from grief and fortify my reason against the illusions of my imagination. The Luminous Shadow didn’t appear on my wall again, and the thought of Margrave himself was pushed away.
In this building I passed many hours of each day; more and more earnestly plunging my thoughts into depths of abstract study, as Lilian’s unaccountable dislike to my presence became more and more decided. When I thus ceased to think that my life cheered and comforted hers, my heart’s occupation was gone. I had annexed to the apartment reserved for myself in the log-hut a couple of spare rooms, in which I could accommodate passing strangers. I learned to look forward to their coming with interest, and to see them depart with regret; yet, for the most part, they were of the ordinary class of colonial adventurers,—bankrupt tradesmen, unlucky farmers, forlorn mechanics, hordes of unskilled labourers, now and then a briefless barrister, or a sporting collegian who had lost his all on the Derby. One day, however, a young man of education and manners that unmistakably proclaimed the cultured gentleman of Europe, stopped at my door. He was a cadet of a noble Prussian family, which for some political reasons had settled itself in Paris; there he had become intimate with young French nobles, and living the life of a young French noble had soon scandalized his German parents, forestalled his slender inheritance, and been compelled to fly his father’s frown and his tailor’s bills. All this he told me with a lively frankness which proved how much the wit of a German can be quickened in the atmosphere of Paris. An old college friend, of birth inferior to his own, had been as unfortunate in seeking to make money as this young prodigal had been an adept in spending it. The friend, a few years previously, had accompanied other Germans in a migration to Australia, and was already thriving; the spendthrift noble was on his way to join the bankrupt trader, at a German settlement fifty miles distant from my house. This young man was unlike any German I ever met. He had all the exquisite levity by which the well-bred Frenchman gives to the doctrines of the Cynic the grace of the Epicurean. He owned himself to be good for nothing with an elegance of candour which not only disarmed censure, but seemed to challenge admiration; and, withal, the happy spendthrift was so inebriate with hope,—sure that he should be rich before he was thirty. How and wherefore rich, he could have no more explained than I can square the circle. When the grand serious German nature does Frenchify itself, it can become so extravagantly French!
In this building, I spent many hours each day, diving deeper into my studies as Lilian’s inexplicable dislike for my presence became more pronounced. Once I stopped believing that my life brought her any joy or comfort, my heart lost its purpose. I had attached a couple of spare rooms to my apartment in the log cabin, allowing me to host passing strangers. I began to look forward to their arrival with interest and felt a twinge of regret when they left. Most of them were typical colonial adventurers—bankrupt tradesmen, struggling farmers, despairing mechanics, and occasionally a failed lawyer or a gambling student who had lost everything on the Derby. One day, however, a young man with an education and manners that clearly marked him as a cultured gentleman from Europe knocked at my door. He was a cadet from a noble Prussian family that had settled in Paris for political reasons. There, he had mingled with young French nobility, living the lifestyle of a French noble, which soon outraged his German parents, depleted his inheritance, and forced him to escape his father's disapproval and mounting debt. He shared all this with an openness that showed how much a German's wit can flourish in the atmosphere of Paris. An old college friend, of lesser birth, had struggled to make money just as this young spendthrift excelled at spending it. A few years earlier, his friend had joined a group of Germans migrating to Australia and was already doing well; the wealthy noble was now on his way to join the bankrupt trader in a German settlement fifty miles from my home. This young man was unlike any German I'd ever met. He had all the delightful frivolity that a refined Frenchman brings to the serious doctrines of the Cynics with the charm of the Epicureans. He admitted to being good for nothing with a level of honesty that not only deflected criticism but almost invited admiration; on top of that, the carefree spendthrift was so filled with hope, convinced he would be rich before he turned thirty. How and why he thought he would become rich, he couldn't explain any better than I can figure out how to square the circle. When the serious German nature embraces French ways, it can become wildly extravagant!
I listened, almost enviously, to this light-hearted profligate’s babble, as we sat by my rude fireside,—I, sombre man of science and sorrow, he, smiling child of idleness and pleasure, so much one of Nature’s courtier-like nobles, that there, as he smoked his villanous pipe, in his dust-soiled shabby garments, and with his ruffianly revolver stuck into his belt, I would defy the daintiest Aristarch who ever presided as critic over the holiday world not to have said, “There smiles the genius beyond my laws, the born darling of the Graces, who in every circumstance, in every age, like Aristippus, would have socially charmed; would have been welcome to the orgies of a Caesar or a Clodius, to the boudoirs of a Montespan or a Pompadour; have lounged through the Mulberry Gardens with a Rochester and a Buckingham, or smiled from the death-cart, with a Richelieu and a Lauzun, a gentleman’s disdain of a mob!”
I listened, almost with envy, to this carefree spendthrift's chatter as we sat by my rough fireplace—I, a serious man of science and sorrow, he, a smiling kid of leisure and enjoyment, so much a noble from Nature's court that there, as he puffed on his terrible pipe, in his dusty, shabby clothes, and with his shady revolver stuck in his belt, I would challenge the fanciest critic who ever judged the holiday world not to have said, “There smiles the genius beyond my rules, the natural favorite of the Graces, who in every situation, in every era, like Aristippus, would have charmed socially; would have been welcome at the parties of a Caesar or a Clodius, in the boudoirs of a Montespan or a Pompadour; have lounged through the Mulberry Gardens with a Rochester and a Buckingham, or smiled from the execution cart, with a Richelieu and a Lauzun, a gentleman’s disdain for the crowd!”
I was so thinking as we sat, his light talk frothing up from his careless lips, when suddenly from the spray and the sparkle of that light talk was flung forth the name of Margrave.
I was lost in thought as we sat there, his casual chatter bubbling up from his relaxed lips, when suddenly, among the spray and sparkle of that light conversation, the name Margrave popped up.
“Margrave!” I exclaimed. “Pardon me. What of him?”
“Margrave!” I said. “Sorry, what about him?”
“What of him! I asked if, by chance, you knew the only Englishman I ever had the meanness to envy?”
“What about him! I asked if you happened to know the only Englishman I ever felt jealous of?”
“Perhaps you speak of one person, and I thought of another.”
“Maybe you’re talking about one person, but I was thinking of someone else.”
“Pardieu, my dear host, there can scarcely be two Margraves! The one of whom I speak flashed like a meteor upon Paris, bought from a prince of the Bourse a palace that might have lodged a prince of the blood-royal, eclipsed our Jew bankers in splendour, our jeunesse doree in good looks and hair-brain adventures, and, strangest of all, filled his salons with philosophers and charlatans, chemists and spirit-rappers; insulting the gravest dons of the schools by bringing them face to face with the most impudent quacks, the most ridiculous dreamers,—and yet, withal, himself so racy and charming, so bon prince, so bon enfant! For six months he was the rage at Paris: perhaps he might have continued to be the rage there for six years, but all at once the meteor vanished as suddenly as it had flashed. Is this the Margrave whom you know?”
“Wow, my dear host, there can hardly be two Margraves! The one I’m talking about shot onto the Paris scene like a meteor, buying a palace from a stock market prince that could have housed royalty, outshining our wealthy bankers in prestige, our young elite in looks and wild adventures, and, strangely enough, filling his salons with philosophers and frauds, chemists and spirit mediums; he insulted the most serious scholars by making them confront the boldest charlatans and the most absurd dreamers—and yet, through it all, he was so lively and charming, so generous and genial! For six months, he was the talk of Paris: maybe he could have remained the center of attention for six years, but suddenly, he disappeared as abruptly as he had arrived. Is this the Margrave you know?”
“I should not have thought the Margrave whom I knew could have reconciled his tastes to the life of cities.”
“I never thought the Margrave I knew could adjust his tastes to city life.”
“Nor could this man: cities were too tame for him. He has gone to some far-remote wilds in the East,—some say in search of the Philosopher’s Stone; for he actually maintained in his house a Sicilian adventurer, who, when at work on that famous discovery, was stifled by the fumes of his own crucible. After that misfortune, Margrave took Paris in disgust, and we lost him.”
“Nor could this man: cities were too boring for him. He went off to some distant wilderness in the East—some say in search of the Philosopher’s Stone; because he actually kept a Sicilian adventurer at his place, who, while working on that famous discovery, was suffocated by the fumes from his own crucible. After that disaster, Margrave left Paris in disgust, and we lost him.”
“So this is the only Englishman whom you envy! Envy him? Why?”
“So this is the only English guy you envy! Envy him? Why?”
“Because he is the only Englishman I ever met who contrived to be rich and yet free from the spleen; I envied him because one had only to look at his face and see how thoroughly he enjoyed the life of which your countrymen seem to be so heartily tired. But now that I have satisfied your curiosity, pray satisfy mine. Who and what is this Englishman?”
“Because he’s the only Englishman I’ve ever met who managed to be rich and still free from bitterness; I envied him because just looking at his face showed how completely he enjoyed the life that your countrymen seem to be so exhausted by. But now that I’ve satisfied your curiosity, please satisfy mine. Who is this Englishman?”
“Who and what was he supposed at Paris to be?”
“Who and what was he supposed to be in Paris?”
“Conjectures were numberless. One of your countrymen suggested that which was the most generally favoured. This gentleman, whose name I forget, but who was one of those old roues who fancy themselves young because they live with the young, no sooner set eyes upon Margrave, than he exclaimed, ‘Louis Grayle come to life again, as I saw him forty-four years ago! But no—still younger, still handsomer—it must be his son!”
“Countless theories floated around. One of your fellow countrymen proposed the one that was most widely accepted. I can't recall his name, but he was one of those older guys who think they're still young because they hang out with younger people. The moment he saw Margrave, he exclaimed, ‘Louis Grayle back from the dead, just like I saw him forty-four years ago! But no—he’s even younger, even more attractive—it must be his son!’”
“Louis Grayle, who was said to be murdered at Aleppo?”
“Louis Grayle, who was said to have been murdered in Aleppo?”
“The same. That strange old man was enormously rich; but it seems that he hated his lawful heirs, and left behind him a fortune so far below that which he was known to possess that he must certainly have disposed of it secretly before his death. Why so dispose of it, if not to enrich some natural son, whom, for private reasons, he might not have wished to acknowledge, or point out to the world by the signal bequest of his will? All that Margrave ever said of himself and the source of his wealth confirmed this belief. He frankly proclaimed himself a natural son, enriched by a father whose name he knew not nor cared to know.”
“The same. That strange old man was incredibly rich; but it seems he hated his legal heirs and left behind a fortune far less than what he was known to have, which means he must have hidden it away before he died. Why would he do that if it wasn't to benefit a hidden son, whom he may have had personal reasons for not wanting to acknowledge, or to bring attention to through a significant inheritance in his will? Everything Margrave ever said about himself and how he got his wealth supported this idea. He openly claimed to be an illegitimate son, supported by a father whose name he didn't know and didn't care to know.”
“It is true. And Margrave quitted Paris for the East. When?”
“It’s true. And Margrave left Paris for the East. When?”
“I can tell you the date within a day or two, for his flight preceded mine by a week; and, happily, all Paris was so busy in talking of it, that I slipped away without notice.”
“I can tell you the date within a day or two because his flight was a week before mine; and luckily, everyone in Paris was so caught up talking about it that I was able to leave without anyone noticing.”
And the Prussian then named a date which it thrilled me to hear, for it was in that very month, and about that very day, that the Luminous Shadow had stood within my threshold.
And the Prussian then mentioned a date that excited me to hear because it was in that very month, and around that very day, that the Luminous Shadow had stood at my doorstep.
The young count now struck off into other subjects of talk: nothing more was said of Margrave. An hour or two afterwards he went on his way, and I remained long gazing musingly on the embers of the dying glow on my hearth.
The young count shifted to other topics of conversation: no more mention was made of Margrave. A couple of hours later, he continued on his way, while I spent a long time thoughtfully staring at the dying embers in my fireplace.
(1) “Are intelligence and instinct, thus differing in their relative proportion in man as compared with all other animals, yet the same in kind and manner of operation in both? To this question we must give at once an affirmative answer. The expression of Cuvier, regarding the faculty of reasoning in lower animals, ‘Leur intelligence execute des operations du meme genre,’ is true in its full sense. We can in no manner define reason so as to exclude acts which are at every moment present to our observation, and which we find in many instances to contravene the natural instincts of the species. The demeanour and acts of the dog in reference to his master, or the various uses to which he is put by man, are as strictly logical as those we witness in the ordinary transactions of life.”—Sir Henry Holland, chapters on “Mental Physiology,” p. 220.
(1) “Are intelligence and instinct, while differing in their relative amounts in humans compared to all other animals, still the same in kind and how they work in both? We must answer this question with a clear yes. Cuvier's statement about the reasoning ability in lower animals, ‘Their intelligence performs operations of the same kind,’ is completely accurate. We cannot define reason in a way that excludes actions we observe every day, which often contradict the natural instincts of the species. The behavior and actions of a dog toward its owner, or the various roles it plays for humans, are just as logical as those we see in everyday life.”—Sir Henry Holland, chapters on “Mental Physiology,” p. 220.
The whole of the chapter on Instincts and Habits in this work should be read in connection with the passage just quoted. The work itself, at once cautious and suggestive, is not one of the least obligations which philosophy and religion alike owe to the lucubrations of English medical men.
The entire chapter on Instincts and Habits in this work should be read alongside the passage just mentioned. The work itself, both careful and thought-provoking, represents one of the key contributions that philosophy and religion owe to the insights of English medical professionals.
(2) Abercrombie’s Intellectual Powers, p. 26. (15th Edition.)
(2) Abercrombie’s Intellectual Powers, p. 26. (15th Edition.)
(3) OEuvres de Descartes, vol. x. p. 178, et seq. (Cousin’s Edition.)
(3) Works of Descartes, vol. x. p. 178, and following (Cousin's Edition.)
(4) M. Tissot the distinguished Professor of Philosophy at Dijon, in his recent work, “La Vie dans l’Homme,” p. 255, gives a long and illustrious list of philosophers who assign a rational soul (ame) to the inferior animals, though he truly adds, “that they have not always the courage of their opinion.”
(4) M. Tissot, the notable Professor of Philosophy at Dijon, in his recent work, “La Vie dans l’Homme,” p. 255, provides a lengthy and impressive list of philosophers who attribute a rational soul (ame) to lower animals, although he rightly adds, “that they haven’t always had the courage of their convictions.”
(5) Some idea of the extent of research and imagination bestowed on this subject may be gleaned from the sprightly work of Pierquin de Gemblouz, “Idiomologie des Animaux,” published at Paris, 1844.
(5) You can get an idea of how much research and creativity has been dedicated to this topic from the lively work of Pierquin de Gemblouz, “Idiomologie des Animaux,” published in Paris in 1844.
(6) “Faculty is active power: capacity is passive power.”—Sir W. Hamilton: Lectures on Metaphysics and Logic, vol. i. p.178.
(6) “Faculty is active power: capacity is passive power.”—Sir W. Hamilton: Lectures on Metaphysics and Logic, vol. i. p.178.
(7) Sir W. Hamilton’s “Lectures,” vol. i. p. 10.
(7) Sir W. Hamilton’s “Lectures,” vol. i. p. 10.
(8) Chalmers, “Bridgewater Treatise,” vol. ii. pp. 28, 30. Perhaps I should observe, that here and elsewhere in the dialogues between Faber and Fenwick, it has generally been thought better to substitute the words of the author quoted for the mere outline or purport of the quotation which memory afforded to the interlocutor.
(8) Chalmers, “Bridgewater Treatise,” vol. ii. pp. 28, 30. Maybe I should point out that here and in other conversations between Faber and Fenwick, it's usually been considered better to use the actual words of the quoted author instead of just the general idea or summary that memory provided to the speaker.
CHAPTER LXXIV.
My Work, my Philosophical Work—the ambitious hope of my intellectual life—how eagerly I returned to it again! Far away from my household grief, far away from my haggard perplexities—neither a Lilian nor a Margrave there!
My work, my philosophical work—the ambitious hope of my intellectual life—how eagerly I returned to it again! Far away from my family troubles, far away from my exhausting confusions—neither a Lilian nor a Margrave in sight!
As I went over what I had before written, each link in its chain of reasoning seemed so serried, that to alter one were to derange all; and the whole reasoning was so opposed to the possibility of the wonders I myself had experienced, so hostile to the subtle hypotheses of a Faber, or the childlike belief of an Amy, that I must have destroyed the entire work if I had admitted such contradictions to its design!
As I reviewed what I had previously written, each link in its chain of reasoning felt so tightly connected that changing one would throw everything off; and the entire reasoning was so contrary to the incredible experiences I had gone through, so opposed to the intricate theories of a Faber, or the naive faith of an Amy, that I would have completely ruined the whole work if I allowed such contradictions into its framework!
But the work was I myself!—I, in my solid, sober, healthful mind, before the brain had been perplexed by a phantom. Were phantoms to be allowed as testimonies against science? No; in returning to my Book, I returned to my former Me!
But the work was me!—I, in my clear, sensible, healthy mind, before my brain had been confused by an illusion. Should illusions be accepted as proof against science? No; when I went back to my Book, I returned to my true self!
How strange is that contradiction between our being as man and our being as Author! Take any writer enamoured of a system: a thousand things may happen to him every day which might shake his faith in that system; and while he moves about as mere man, his faith is shaken. But when he settles himself back into the phase of his being as author, the mere act of taking pen in hand and smoothing the paper before him restores his speculations to their ancient mechanical train. The system, the beloved system, reasserts its tyrannic sway, and he either ignores, or moulds into fresh proofs of his theory as author, all which, an hour before, had given his theory the lie in his living perceptions as man.
How strange is the contradiction between being human and being an Author! Take any writer who is passionate about a particular system: countless events may happen to them every day that could shake their belief in that system; and while they go about their daily life as a regular person, their faith might waver. But once they settle back into their role as an author, the simple act of picking up a pen and smoothing the paper in front of them brings their thoughts back to their original, mechanical flow. The system, their cherished system, reasserts its control, and they either overlook or reshape everything that had challenged their theory in their real-life experiences as a person just an hour before.
I adhered to my system,—I continued my work. Here, in the barbarous desert, was a link between me and the Cities of Europe. All else might break down under me. The love I had dreamed of was blotted out from the world, and might never be restored; my heart might be lonely, my life be an exile’s. My reason might, at last, give way before the spectres which awed my senses, or the sorrow which stormed my heart. But here at least was a monument of my rational thoughtful Me,—of my individualized identity in multiform creation. And my mind, in the noon of its force, would shed its light on the earth when my form was resolved to its elements. Alas! in this very yearning for the Hereafter, though but the Hereafter of a Name, could I see only the craving of Mind, and hear not the whisper of Soul!
I stuck to my routine—I kept working. Here, in this harsh desert, was a connection between me and the cities of Europe. Everything else might fall apart around me. The love I had hoped for was erased from the world and might never return; my heart could be lonely, my life could feel like that of an exile. My reason might eventually crumble under the visions that overwhelmed my senses or the grief that battered my heart. But here, at least, was a testament to my rational, thoughtful self—my unique identity amid a diverse existence. And my mind, at the peak of its strength, would cast its light on the earth once my body returned to its basic elements. Unfortunately, in this very longing for what comes next, even if it’s just the legacy of a name, could I only see the desire of my mind and not hear the voice of my soul!
The avocation of a colonist, usually so active, had little interest for me. This vast territorial lordship, in which, could I have endeared its possession by the hopes that animate a Founder, I should have felt all the zest and the pride of ownership, was but the run of a common to the passing emigrant, who would leave no son to inherit the tardy products of his labour. I was not goaded to industry by the stimulus of need. I could only be ruined if I risked all my capital in the attempt to improve. I lived, therefore, amongst my fertile pastures, as careless of culture as the English occupant of the Highland moor, which he rents for the range of its solitudes.
The job of a colonist, which is usually so engaging, didn’t interest me much. This huge stretch of land, where if I could have cherished its ownership with the hopes of a Founder, I would have felt all the excitement and pride of ownership, was nothing more than a common area to the passing settler, who would leave no child to inherit the slow results of his work. I wasn't pushed to work hard by the necessity of survival. I could only lose everything if I risked my entire investment trying to make improvements. So, I lived among my lush pastures, as indifferent to cultivation as the English tenant of the Highland moor, which he rents just for the sake of its emptiness.
I knew, indeed, that if ever I became avaricious, I might swell my modest affluence into absolute wealth. I had revisited the spot in which I had discovered the nugget of gold, and had found the precious metal in rich abundance just under the first coverings of the alluvial soil. I concealed my discovery from all. I knew that, did I proclaim it, the charm of my bush-life would be gone. My fields would be infested by all the wild adventurers who gather to gold as the vultures of prey round a carcass; my servants would desert me, my very flocks would be shepherdless!
I knew that if I ever got greedy, I could easily turn my small fortune into a massive one. I went back to the place where I found the gold nugget and discovered that there was a lot more precious metal just beneath the surface of the soil. I kept my find a secret. I realized that if I announced it, the magic of my life in the bush would be over. My fields would be overrun by every wild adventurer flocking to gold like vultures around a carcass; my workers would leave me, and even my sheep would be left without a shepherd!
Months again rolled on months. I had just approached the close of my beloved Work, when it was again suspended, and by an anguish keener than all which I had previously known.
Months went by again. I had just reached the end of my cherished work when it was interrupted once more, by a pain more intense than anything I had felt before.
Lilian became alarmingly ill. Her state of health, long gradually declining, had hitherto admitted checkered intervals of improvement, and exhibited no symptoms of actual danger. But now she was seized with a kind of chronic fever, attended with absolute privation of sleep, an aversion to even the lightest nourishment, and an acute nervous susceptibility to all the outward impressions of which she had long seemed so unconscious; morbidly alive to the faintest sound, shrinking from the light as from a torture. Her previous impatience at my entrance into her room became aggravated into vehement emotions, convulsive paroxysms of distress; so that Faber banished me from her chamber, and, with a heart bleeding at every fibre, I submitted to the cruel sentence.
Lilian became seriously ill. Her health, which had been gradually declining for a while, had previously shown some ups and downs with brief improvements, and there were no signs of immediate danger. But now she was hit with a kind of chronic fever, leaving her completely unable to sleep, refusing even the lightest food, and extremely sensitive to all the outside stimuli that she had long seemed oblivious to; overly attuned to the faintest noise, flinching from the light as if it were pain. Her earlier annoyance at me entering her room intensified into intense emotional outbursts, convulsive fits of distress; so much so that Faber asked me to leave her room, and, with a heavy heart, I accepted this harsh verdict.
Faber had taken up his abode in my house and brought Amy with him; one or the other never left Lilian, night or day. The great physician spoke doubtfully of the case, but not despairingly.
Faber had moved into my house and brought Amy along; either one of them was always with Lilian, day and night. The great doctor talked about the situation with uncertainty, but not without hope.
“Remember,” he said, “that in spite of the want of sleep, the abstinence from food, the form has not wasted as it would do were this fever inevitably mortal. It is upon that phenomenon I build a hope that I have not been mistaken in the opinion I hazarded from the first. We are now in the midst of the critical struggle between life and reason; if she preserve the one, my conviction is that she will regain the other. That seeming antipathy to yourself is a good omen. You are inseparably associated with her intellectual world; in proportion as she revives to it, must become vivid and powerful the reminiscences of the shock that annulled, for a time, that world to her. So I welcome, rather than fear, the over-susceptibility of the awakening senses to external sights and sounds. A few days will decide if I am right. In this climate the progress of acute maladies is swift, but the recovery from them is yet more startlingly rapid. Wait, endure, be prepared to submit to the will of Heaven; but do not despond of its mercy.”
“Remember,” he said, “that despite the lack of sleep and food, her body hasn’t deteriorated as it would if this fever were definitely fatal. It’s on this observation that I hope I’m not wrong in my initial opinion. We’re now in the middle of a critical struggle between life and reason; if she holds on to the first, I believe she will regain the second. That apparent hostility towards you is a good sign. You’re closely tied to her intellectual world; as she comes back to it, the memories of the shock that temporarily took that world away from her will become strong and powerful. So I welcome, rather than fear, the heightened sensitivity of her awakening senses to outside sights and sounds. A few days will show if I’m right. In this climate, the progression of serious illnesses is fast, but recovery from them is even more remarkably quick. Wait, endure, be ready to accept the will of Heaven; but don’t lose hope in its mercy.”
I rushed away from the consoler,—away into the thick of the forests, the heart of the solitude. All around me, there, was joyous with life; the locust sang amidst the herbage; the cranes gambolled on the banks of the creek; the squirrel-like opossums frolicked on the feathery boughs. “And what,” said I to myself,—“what if that which seems so fabulous in the distant being whose existence has bewitched my own, be substantially true? What if to some potent medicament Margrave owes his glorious vitality, his radiant youth? Oh, that I had not so disdainfully turned away from his hinted solicitations—to what?—to nothing guiltier than lawful experiment. Had I been less devoted a bigot to this vain schoolcraft, which we call the Medical Art, and which, alone in this age of science, has made no perceptible progress since the days of its earliest teachers—had I said, in the true humility of genuine knowledge, ‘these alchemists were men of genius and thought; we owe to them nearly all the grand hints of our chemical science,—is it likely that they would have been wholly drivellers and idiots in the one faith they clung to the most?’—had I said that, I might now have no fear of losing my Lilian. Why, after all, should there not be in Nature one primary essence, one master substance; in which is stored the specific nutriment of life?”
I rushed away from the advisor—into the depths of the forest, the heart of solitude. All around me was alive with joy; the locust sang among the grass; the cranes played on the banks of the creek; the squirrel-like opossums frolicked on the delicate branches. “And what,” I asked myself, “what if what seems so unbelievable about the distant person whose existence has captivated me is actually true? What if Margrave owes his brilliant vitality, his youthful radiance, to some powerful medicine? Oh, why did I disdainfully turn away from his hinted requests—for what?—for nothing guiltier than a legitimate experiment? If I had been less of a devoted follower of this empty practice we call the Medical Art, which has made no real progress since the days of its earliest teachers—if I had said, in the true humility of real understanding, ‘these alchemists were thinkers and visionaries; we owe them nearly all the great ideas of our chemical science—could they really have been completely foolish and ignorant in the one belief they clung to the most?’—if I had said that, I might not now fear losing my Lilian. Why, after all, shouldn't there be one primary essence in Nature, one master substance, that contains the specific nourishment of life?”
Thus incoherently muttering to the woods what my pride of reason would not have suffered me gravely to say to my fellow-men, I fatigued my tormented spirits into a gloomy calm, and mechanically retraced my steps at the decline of day. I seated myself at the door of my solitary log-hut, lean ing my cheek upon my hand, and musing. Wearily I looked up, roused by a discord of clattering hoofs and lumbering wheels on the hollow-sounding grass-track. A crazy groaning vehicle, drawn by four horses, emerged from the copse of gum-trees,—fast, fast along the road, which no such pompous vehicle had traversed since that which had borne me—luxurious satrap for an early colonist—to my lodge in the wilderness. What emigrant rich enough to squander in the hire of such an equipage more than its cost in England, could thus be entering on my waste domain? An ominous thrill shot through me.
So, speaking incoherently to the woods about things my pride wouldn't let me say to other people, I wore myself out into a gloomy calm and automatically retraced my steps as the day ended. I sat at the door of my lonely log cabin, propping my cheek on my hand and lost in thought. Tired, I looked up, startled by the sound of clattering hooves and rattling wheels on the hollow-sounding grass path. A rickety, groaning carriage pulled by four horses appeared from the group of gum trees—moving quickly down a road that hadn’t seen such a grand vehicle since the one that had taken me—once a wealthy figure for an early colonist—to my place in the wilderness. What emigrant could be rich enough to spend on hiring such a fancy carriage more than its price in England, as they entered my desolate land? An unsettling thrill shot through me.
The driver—perhaps some broken-down son of luxury in the Old World, fit for nothing in the New World but to ply, for hire, the task that might have led to his ruin when plied in sport—stopped at the door of my hut, and called out, “Friend, is not this the great Fenwick Section, and is not yonder long pile of building the Master’s house?”
The driver—maybe some fallen heir from the Old World, who’s good for nothing in the New World except to do the lowly job that might have ruined him when it was just for fun—pulled up at the door of my hut and yelled, “Hey, is this the great Fenwick Section, and isn’t that long building over there the Master’s house?”
Before I could answer I heard a faint voice, within the vehicle, speaking to the driver; the last nodded, descended from his seat, opened the carriage-door, and offered his arm to a man, who, waving aside the proffered aid, descended slowly and feebly; paused a moment as if for breath, and then, leaning on his staff, walked from the road, across the sward rank with luxuriant herbage, through the little gate in the new-set fragrant wattle-fence, wearily, languidly, halting often, till he stood facing me, leaning both wan and emaciated hands upon his staff, and his meagre form shrinking deep within the folds of a cloak lined thick with costly sables. His face was sharp, his complexion of a livid yellow, his eyes shone out from their hollow orbits, unnaturally enlarged and fatally bright. Thus, in ghastly contrast to his former splendour of youth and opulence of life, Margrave stood before me.
Before I could respond, I heard a faint voice from inside the vehicle talking to the driver. The driver nodded, got down from his seat, opened the carriage door, and offered his arm to a man who, brushing off the offered help, slowly and weakly got out. He paused for a moment as if to catch his breath, and then, leaning on his cane, walked away from the road, across the lush grass, through the small gate in the newly set fragrant wattle fence, moving tiredly and slowly, stopping frequently, until he stood facing me, resting both pale and thin hands on his cane, his frail figure shrinking deep within the folds of a cloak lined thick with expensive fur. His face was sharp, his skin a sickly yellow, and his eyes shone out from their hollow sockets, unnaturally widened and strikingly bright. In this ghastly contrast to his former youth and wealth, Margrave stood before me.
“I come to you,” said Margrave, in accents hoarse and broken, “from the shores of the East. Give me shelter and rest. I have that to say which will more than repay you.”
"I come to you," said Margrave, in hoarse, shaky tones, "from the shores of the East. Please give me shelter and rest. I have something to say that will more than make it worth your while."
Whatever, till that moment, my hate and my fear of this unexpected visitant, hate would have been inhumanity, fear a meanness, conceived for a creature so awfully stricken down.
Whatever, until that moment, my hate and my fear of this unexpected visitor, hate would have been inhumanity, fear a smallness, felt for a creature so tragically brought low.
Silently, involuntarily, I led him into the house. There he rested a few minutes, with closed eyes and painful gasps for breath. Meanwhile, the driver brought from the carriage a travelling-bag and a small wooden chest or coffer, strongly banded with iron clamps. Margrave, looking up as the man drew near, exclaimed fiercely, “Who told you to touch that chest? How dare you? Take it from that man, Fenwick! Place it here,—here by my side!”
Silently, without wanting to, I brought him into the house. He rested for a few minutes, eyes closed and gasping for breath. Meanwhile, the driver carried a travel bag and a small wooden chest, reinforced with iron bands, from the carriage. Margrave, looking up as the man approached, shouted angrily, “Who told you to touch that chest? How dare you? Take it from him, Fenwick! Put it here—here by my side!”
I took the chest from the driver, whose rising anger at being so imperiously rated in the land of democratic equality was appeased by the gold which Margrave lavishly flung to him.
I took the chest from the driver, whose growing frustration at being so rudely judged in a place that values democratic equality was calmed by the gold that Margrave generously threw to him.
“Take care of the poor gentleman, squire,” he whispered to me, in the spontaneous impulse of gratitude, “I fear he will not trouble you long. He must be monstrous rich. Arrived in a vessel hired all to himself, and a train of outlandish attendants, whom he has left behind in the town yonder. May I bait my horses in your stables? They have come a long way.”
“Look after the poor guy, squire,” he whispered to me, feeling grateful, “I’m afraid he won’t be a bother for long. He must be incredibly wealthy. He arrived on a ship he rented just for himself, along with a bunch of unusual attendants, whom he left behind in the town over there. Can I stable my horses in your barn? They’ve traveled a long way.”
I pointed to the neighbouring stables, and the man nodded his thanks, remounted his box, and drove off.
I pointed to the nearby stables, and the man nodded in thanks, got back on his box, and drove away.
I returned to Margrave. A faint smile came to his lips as I placed the chest beside him.
I went back to Margrave. A slight smile appeared on his lips as I set the chest down next to him.
“Ay, ay,” he muttered. “Safe! safe! I shall soon be well again,—very soon! And now I can sleep in peace!”
“Aye, aye,” he murmured. “Safe! Safe! I’ll be better in no time—very soon! And now I can sleep peacefully!”
I led him into an inner room, in which there was a bed. He threw himself on it with a loud sigh of relief. Soon, half raising himself on his elbow, he exclaimed, “The chest—bring it hither! I need it always beside me! There, there! Now for a few hours of sleep; and then, if I can take food, or some such restoring cordial as your skill may suggest, I shall be strong enough to talk. We will talk! we will talk!”
I took him into a private room that had a bed. He collapsed onto it with a big sigh of relief. After a moment, propping himself up on his elbow, he said, “The chest—bring it here! I need it right next to me! There we go! Now just a few hours of sleep; and then, if I can have some food or any kind of restorative drink you can recommend, I’ll be strong enough to talk. We’ll talk! We’ll talk!”
His eyes closed heavily as his voice fell into a drowsy mutter: a moment more and he was asleep.
His eyes closed slowly as his voice turned into a sleepy mumble: in just a moment, he was asleep.
I watched beside him, in mingled wonder and compassion. Looking into that face, so altered yet still so young, I could not sternly question what had been the evil of that mystic life, which seemed now oozing away through the last sands in the hour-glass. I placed my hand softly on his pulse: it scarcely beat. I put my ear to his breast, and involuntarily sighed, as I distinguished in its fluttering heave that dull, dumb sound, in which the heart seems knelling itself to the greedy grave!
I watched beside him, filled with a mix of wonder and compassion. Looking at that face, so changed yet still so young, I couldn't harshly question what had gone wrong in that mysterious life, which now seemed to be slipping away through the last grains in the hourglass. I gently placed my hand on his pulse: it barely beat. I leaned close to his chest and couldn't help but sigh as I recognized in its weak rise that dull, lifeless sound, as if the heart was ringing its own death knell to the eager grave!
Was this, indeed, the potent magician whom I had so feared!—this the guide to the Rosicrucian’s secret of life’s renewal, in whom, but an hour or two ago, my fancies gulled my credulous trust!
Was this really the powerful magician I had feared so much?—this was the guide to the Rosicrucian’s secret of life’s renewal, in whom, just an hour or two ago, my imagination had tricked my gullible trust!
But suddenly, even while thus chiding my wild superstitions, a fear, that to most would seem scarcely less superstitious, shot across me. Could Lilian be affected by the near neighbourhood of one to whose magnetic influence she had once been so strangely subjected? I left Margrave still sleeping, closed and locked the door of the hut, went back to my dwelling, and met Amy at the threshold. Her smile was so cheering that I felt at once relieved.
But suddenly, even while I was scolding myself for my wild superstitions, a fear that most would consider just as superstitious crossed my mind. Could Lilian be affected by the presence of someone whose magnetic influence she had once been so strangely under? I left Margrave still sleeping, closed and locked the door of the hut, went back to my place, and ran into Amy at the door. Her smile was so uplifting that I immediately felt relieved.
“Hush!” said the child, putting her finger to her lips, “she is so quiet! I was coming in search of you, with a message from her.”
“Hush!” said the child, putting her finger to her lips, “she's so quiet! I was looking for you, with a message from her.”
“From Lilian to me—what! to me!”
“From Lilian to me—what! to me!”
“Hush! About an hour ago, she beckoned me to draw near to her, and then said, very softly: ‘Tell Allen that light is coming back to me, and it all settles on him—on him. Tell him that I pray to be spared to walk by his side on earth, hand-in-hand to that heaven which is no dream, Amy. Tell him that,—no dream!’”
“Hush! About an hour ago, she motioned for me to come closer, and then whispered: ‘Tell Allen that I can see the light returning to me, and it all focuses on him—on him. Tell him that I hope to be here to walk beside him on earth, hand-in-hand to that heaven which is not just a dream, Amy. Tell him that—not a dream!’”
While the child spoke my tears gushed, and the strong hands in which I veiled my face quivered like the leaf of the aspen. And when I could command my voice, I said plaintively,—
While the child spoke, my tears flowed, and the strong hands with which I covered my face shook like an aspen leaf. And when I could control my voice, I said softly,—
“May I not, then, see her?—only for a moment, and answer her message though but by a look?”
“Can I at least see her?—just for a moment, and reply to her message even if it’s just with a look?”
“No, no!”
“No way!”
“No! Where is Faber?”
“No! Where’s Faber?”
“Gone into the forest, in search of some herbs, but he gave me this note for you.”
“Gone into the forest to look for some herbs, but he left this note for you.”
I wiped the blinding tears from my eyes, and read these lines:—
I wiped the painful tears from my eyes and read these lines:—
“I have, though with hesitation, permitted Amy to tell you the cheering words, by which our beloved patient confirms my belief that reason is coming back to her,—slowly, labouringly, but if she survive, for permanent restoration. On no account attempt to precipitate or disturb the work of nature. As dangerous as a sudden glare of light to eyes long blind and newly regaining vision in the friendly and soothing dark would be the agitation that your presence at this crisis would cause. Confide in me.”
“I have, though with some hesitation, allowed Amy to share the encouraging words that our beloved patient has confirmed my belief that her reason is returning to her—slowly, with effort, but if she survives, it will be a lasting recovery. Under no circumstances should you try to rush or disrupt the natural process. The turmoil your presence would cause at this critical time would be as dangerous as a sudden bright light to eyes that have been blind for a long time and are just starting to adjust from the comforting darkness. Trust me.”
I remained brooding over these lines and over Lilian’s message long and silently, while Amy’s soothing whispers stole into my ear, soft as the murmurs of a rill heard in the gloom of forests. Rousing myself at length, my thoughts returned to Margrave. Doubtless he would soon awake. I bade Amy bring me such slight nutriment as I thought best suited to his enfeebled state, telling her it was for a sick traveller, resting himself in my hut. When Amy returned, I took from her the little basket with which she was charged, and having, meanwhile, made a careful selection from the contents of my medicine-chest, went back to the hut. I had not long resumed my place beside Margrave’s pillow before he awoke.
I sat there, deep in thought about these lines and Lilian’s message, while Amy’s calming whispers filled my ear, gentle like the sounds of a stream in a dark forest. After a while, I pulled myself together, and my thoughts drifted back to Margrave. He would surely wake up soon. I asked Amy to bring me some light food that I thought would be suitable for his weakened condition, telling her it was for a sick traveler resting in my hut. When Amy came back, I took the small basket she was carrying and, after carefully picking some items from my medicine chest, returned to the hut. I hadn’t been back at Margrave’s side for long before he opened his eyes.
“What o’clock is it?” he asked, with an anxious voice.
“What time is it?” he asked, anxiously.
“About seven.”
"About seven o'clock."
“Not later? That is well; my time is precious.”
“Not later? That's good; my time is valuable.”
“Compose yourself, and eat.”
“Calm down, and eat.”
I placed the food before him, and he partook of it, though sparingly, and as if with effort. He then dozed for a short time, again woke up, and impatiently demanded the cordial, which I had prepared in the mean while. Its effect was greater and more immediate than I could have anticipated, proving, perhaps, how much of youth there was still left in his system, however undermined and ravaged by disease. Colour came back to his cheek, his voice grew perceptibly stronger. And as I lighted the lamp on the table near us—for it was growing dark—he gathered himself up, and spoke thus,—
I set the food in front of him, and he ate some, but only a little, as if it took a lot of effort. He then dozed off for a bit, woke up again, and impatiently asked for the drink I had prepared in the meantime. Its effect was stronger and quicker than I expected, showing how much youth was still in him, even though it was worn down and affected by illness. Color returned to his cheeks, and his voice got noticeably stronger. As I turned on the lamp on the table near us—since it was getting dark—he straightened up and said,
“You remember that I once pressed on you certain experiments. My object then was to discover the materials from which is extracted the specific that enables the organs of life to expel disease and regain vigour. In that hope I sought your intimacy,—an intimacy you gave, but withdrew.”
“You remember that I once pushed you to try some experiments. My goal was to find out the substances needed to help the body fight off disease and regain strength. With that in mind, I sought to get close to you—a closeness you gave but then pulled away from.”
“Dare you complain? Who and what was the being from whose intimacy I shrank appalled?”
“Do you really want to complain? Who was the person whose closeness I found terrifying?”
“Ask what questions you please,” cried Margrave, impatiently, “later—if I have strength left to answer them; but do not interrupt me, while I husband my force to say what alone is important to me and to you. Disappointed in the hopes I had placed in you, I resolved to repair to Paris,—that great furnace of all bold ideas. I questioned learned formalists; I listened to audacious empirics. The first, with all their boasted knowledge, were too timid to concede my premises; the second, with all their speculative daring, too knavish to let me trust to their conclusions. I found but one man, a Sicilian, who comprehended the secrets that are called occult, and had the courage to meet Nature and all her agencies face to face. He believed, and sincerely, that he was approaching the grand result, at the very moment when he perished from want of the common precautions which a tyro in chemistry would have taken. At his death the gaudy city became hateful; all its pretended pleasures only served to exhaust life the faster. The true joys of youth are those of the wild bird and wild brute, in the healthful enjoyment of Nature. In cities, youth is but old age with a varnish. I fled to the East; I passed through the tents of the Arabs; I was guided—no matter by whom or by what—to the house of a Dervish, who had had for his teacher the most erudite master of secrets occult, whom I knew years ago at Aleppo—-Why that exclamation?”
“Ask whatever questions you want,” Margrave shouted, impatiently, “later—if I have enough energy left to answer them; but please don’t interrupt me while I gather my strength to say what matters most to me and to you. Disappointed in the hopes I had placed in you, I decided to go to Paris—the great hub of bold ideas. I questioned learned experts; I listened to daring experimenters. The former, with all their claimed knowledge, were too scared to accept my assumptions; the latter, with all their speculative bravado, were too shady to let me trust their conclusions. I found only one person, a Sicilian, who understood the secrets known as occult and had the courage to confront Nature and all her forces directly. He genuinely believed he was on the verge of a significant breakthrough, at the very moment when he died from neglecting the basic safety precautions that even a novice in chemistry would have taken. After his death, the flashy city turned bitter; all its supposed pleasures only made life wear out faster. The true joys of youth are like those of a wild bird or a wild animal, in the healthy enjoyment of Nature. In cities, youth is just old age with a layer of gloss. I fled to the East; I traveled through the tents of the Arabs; I was led—no matter by whom or by what—to the house of a Dervish, who had learned from the most knowledgeable master of occult secrets, someone I had known years ago in Aleppo—Why that exclamation?”
“Proceed. What I have to say will come—later.”
“Go ahead. What I need to say will come up later.”
“From this Dervish I half forced and half purchased the secret I sought to obtain. I now know from what peculiar substance the so-called elixir of life is extracted; I know also the steps of the process through which that task is accomplished. You smile incredulously. What is your doubt? State it while I rest for a moment. My breath labours; give me more of the cordial.”
“From this Dervish, I partly forced and partly bought the secret I wanted to get. I now know what strange substance the so-called elixir of life is made from; I also know the steps involved in making it. You smile skeptically. What’s your doubt? Share it while I take a break. I'm out of breath; give me more of the drink.”
“Need I tell you my doubt? You have, you say, at your command the elixir of life of which Cagliostro did not leave his disciples the recipe; and you stretch out your hand for a vulgar cordial which any village chemist could give you!”
“Do I need to express my doubts? You claim to have the elixir of life that Cagliostro never gave his followers the recipe for; and yet, you reach for a common tonic that any village pharmacist could provide!”
“I can explain this apparent contradiction. The process by which the elixir is extracted from the material which hoards its essence is one that requires a hardihood of courage which few possess. This Dervish, who had passed through that process once, was deaf to all prayer, and unmoved by all bribes, to attempt it again. He was poor; for the secret by which metals may be transmuted is not, as the old alchemists seem to imply, identical with that by which the elixir of life is extracted. He had only been enabled to discover, in the niggard strata of the lands within range of his travel, a few scanty morsels of the glorious substance. From these he had extracted scarcely enough of the elixir to fill a third of that little glass which I have just drained. He guarded every drop for himself. Who that holds healthful life as the one boon above all price to the living, would waste upon others what prolongs and recruits his own being? Therefore, though he sold me his secret, he would not sell me his treasure.”
“I can explain this seeming contradiction. The process of extracting the elixir from the material that holds its essence requires a level of courage that few people have. This Dervish, who had gone through that process once, was deaf to all prayers and unmoved by any bribes to try it again. He was poor, because the secret to turning metals into gold isn’t the same as the one for getting the elixir of life. He had only been able to find a few small pieces of the precious substance in the meager areas he traveled. From these, he barely managed to extract enough elixir to fill a third of that little glass I've just emptied. He guarded every drop for himself. Who, valuing a healthy life above all else, would waste what extends and rejuvenates their own existence on others? So, even though he sold me his secret, he wouldn't sell me his treasure.”
“Any quack may sell you the information how to make not only an elixir, but a sun and a moon, and then scare you from the experiment by tales of the danger of trying it! How do you know that this essence which the Dervish possessed was the elixir of life, since, it seems, you have not tried on yourself what effect its precious drops could produce? Poor wretch, who once seemed to me so awfully potent! do you come to the Antipodes in search of a drug that only exists in the fables by which a child is amused?”
“Any fraud can sell you the recipe for making not just an elixir, but also a sun and a moon, and then scare you away from trying it with stories about the dangers involved! How can you be sure that this essence the Dervish had was the elixir of life, since it appears you haven't tested what its precious drops could do on yourself? Poor wretch, who once seemed so incredibly powerful to me! Are you really traveling to the ends of the earth looking for a potion that only exists in the fairy tales meant to entertain children?”
“The elixir of life is no fable,” cried Margrave, with a kindling of eye, a power of voice, a dilatation of form, that startled me in one just before so feeble. “That elixir was bright in my veins when we last met. From that golden draught of the life-spring of joy I took all that can gladden creation. What sage would not have exchanged his wearisome knowledge for my lusty revels with Nature? What monarch would not have bartered his crown, with its brain-ache of care, for the radiance that circled my brows, flashing out from the light that was in me? Oh again, oh again! to enjoy the freedom of air with the bird, and the glow of the sun with the lizard; to sport through the blooms of the earth, Nature’s playmate and darling; to face, in the forest and desert, the pard and the lion,—Nature’s bravest and fiercest,—her firstborn, the heir of her realm, with the rest of her children for slaves!”
“The elixir of life is no myth,” shouted Margrave, eyes sparkling, voice powerful, and form suddenly vigorous, which shocked me given how weak he seemed just moments ago. “That elixir flowed brightly in my veins when we last met. From that golden drink of the joyful life-spring, I took everything that can bring happiness to existence. What wise person wouldn’t trade their tedious knowledge for my vibrant adventures with Nature? What king wouldn’t swap his crown, burdened with the headache of responsibility, for the glow that surrounded my head, shining out from the light within me? Oh again, oh again! To experience the freedom of the air like a bird, and the warmth of the sun like a lizard; to frolic through the earth’s blossoms, Nature’s companion and favorite; to confront in the forest and desert the leopard and the lion—Nature’s bravest and fiercest, her firstborn, the heir to her kingdom, with the rest of her offspring as servants!”
As these words burst from his lips, there was a wild grandeur in the aspect of this enigmatical being which I had never beheld in the former time of his affluent, dazzling youth. And, indeed, in his language, and in the thoughts it clothed, there was an earnestness, a concentration, a directness, a purpose, which had seemed wanting to his desultory talk in the earlier days I expected that reaction of languor and exhaustion would follow his vehement outbreak of passion, but, after a short pause, he went on with steady accents. His will was sustaining his strength. He was determined to force his convictions on me, and the vitality, once so rich, rallied all its lingering forces to the aid of its intense desire.
As these words left his mouth, there was a wild grandeur in the look of this mysterious person that I had never seen during his earlier days of wealth and brilliance. And truly, in his words and the thoughts behind them, there was a seriousness, a focus, a straightforwardness, a purpose that had seemed lacking in his random conversations back then. I expected he would feel tired and drained after his passionate outburst, but after a brief pause, he continued with steady tones. His will was bolstering his strength. He was determined to impress his beliefs on me, and the vitality, once so abundant, pulled together all its remaining energy to support its strong desire.
“I tell you, then,” he resumed, with deliberate calmness, “that, years ago, I tested in my own person that essence which is the sovereign medicament. In me, as you saw me at L——, you beheld the proof of its virtues. Feeble and ill as I am now, my state was incalculably more hopeless when formerly restored by the elixir. He from whom I then took the sublime restorative died without revealing the secret of its composition. What I obtained was only just sufficient to recruit the lamp of my life, then dying down—and no drop was left for renewing the light which wastes its own rays in the air that it gilds. Though the Dervish would not sell me his treasure, he permitted me to see it. The appearance and odour of this essence are strangely peculiar,—unmistakable by one who has once beheld and partaken of it. In short, I recognized in the hands of the Dervish the bright life-renewer, as I had borne it away from the corpse of the Sage of Aleppo.”
“I’ll tell you this,” he continued, with calm determination, “years ago, I experienced firsthand that substance which is the ultimate remedy. In me, as you saw me at L——, you witnessed proof of its power. Weak and sick as I am now, my condition was far more desperate when I was restored by the elixir. The person from whom I acquired the incredible restorative died without sharing the secret of its formula. What I got was just enough to revive the flickering light of my life, then fading away—and not a drop was left to rekindle the flame that loses its own light in the air it brightens. Although the Dervish wouldn’t sell me his treasure, he allowed me to see it. The look and smell of this essence are strangely unique—unmistakable for anyone who has ever seen and tasted it. In short, I recognized in the Dervish's hands the bright life-renewer, just as I had taken it from the corpse of the Sage of Aleppo.”
“Hold! Are you then, in truth, the murderer of Haroun, and is your true name Louis Grayle?”
“Wait! Are you really the murderer of Haroun, and is your real name Louis Grayle?”
“I am no murderer, and Louis Grayle did not leave me his name. I again adjure you to postpone, for this night at least, the questions you wish to address to me.
“I am not a murderer, and Louis Grayle didn’t give me his name. I again urge you to hold off, at least for tonight, on the questions you want to ask me.
“Seeing that this obstinate pauper possessed that for which the pale owners of millions, at the first touch of palsy or gout, would consent to be paupers, of course I coveted the possession of the essence even more than the knowledge of the substance from which it is extracted. I had no coward fear of the experiment, which this timid driveller had not the nerve to renew. But still the experiment might fail. I must traverse land and sea to find the fit place for it, while, in the rags of the Dervish, the unfailing result of the experiment was at hand. The Dervish suspected my design, he dreaded my power. He fled on the very night in which I had meant to seize what he refused to sell me. After all, I should have done him no great wrong; for I should have left him wealth enough to transport himself to any soil in which the material for the elixir may be most abundant; and the desire of life would have given his shrinking nerves the courage to replenish its ravished store. I had Arabs in my pay, who obeyed me as hounds their master. I chased the fugitive. I came on his track, reached a house in a miserable village, in which, I was told, he had entered but an hour before. The day was declining, the light in the room imperfect. I saw in a corner what seemed to me the form of the Dervish,—stooped to seize it, and my hand closed on an asp. The artful Dervish had so piled his rags that they took the shape of the form they had clothed, and he had left, as a substitute for the giver of life, the venomous reptile of death.
“Seeing that this stubborn beggar had something that the wealthy would trade their fortunes for at the first sign of illness, I wanted it even more than just knowing what it was made from. I wasn’t afraid to try this experiment, unlike this timid fool who didn’t have the guts to attempt it again. But still, the experiment could fail. I had to travel far and wide to find the right place for it, while in the beggar's rags, the guaranteed result of the experiment was right in front of me. The beggar suspected my intentions and feared my power. He ran away on the very night I planned to take what he wouldn’t sell me. Honestly, I wouldn’t have wronged him much; I would have left him enough wealth to move to a place where the ingredients for the elixir were plentiful, and the will to live would have given his trembling nerves the courage to refill what was taken from him. I had Arabs on my payroll, who obeyed me like dogs obey their owner. I chased the fugitive. I followed his trail to a shabby house in a poor village, where I was told he had entered just an hour before. The day was fading, and the light in the room was dim. I saw in a corner what looked like the form of the beggar—bent down to grab it, and my hand closed around a snake. The clever beggar had arranged his rags to resemble a body, and he had left, as a replacement for the giver of life, the deadly creature of death.”
“The strength of my system enabled me to survive the effect of the poison; but during the torpor that numbed me, my Arabs, alarmed, gave no chase to my quarry. At last, though enfeebled and languid, I was again on my horse. Again the pursuit, again the track! I learned—but this time by a knowledge surer than man’s—that the Dervish had taken his refuge in a hamlet that had sprung up over the site of a city once famed through Assyria. The same voice that informed me of his whereabouts warned me not to pursue. I rejected the warning. In my eager impatience I sprang on to the chase; in my fearless resolve I felt sure of the prey. I arrived at the hamlet wearied out, for my forces were no longer the same since the bite of the asp. The Dervish eluded me still; he had left the floor, on which I sank exhausted, but a few minutes before my horse stopped at the door. The carpet, on which he had rested, still lay on the ground. I dismissed the youngest and keenest of my troop in search of the fugitive. Sure that this time he would not escape, my eyes closed in sleep.
“The strength of my body helped me survive the poison's effects; however, during the daze that numbed me, my Arab companions, worried, didn't chase after my target. Finally, even though I felt weak and tired, I was back on my horse. The chase resumed, and I followed the trail again! I discovered—this time with a knowledge deeper than any human understanding—that the Dervish had found refuge in a small village that had grown on the ruins of a city once celebrated in Assyria. The same voice that revealed his location also warned me not to pursue. I ignored the warning. In my eager impatience, I jumped back into the chase; with my fearless determination, I felt certain of catching him. I reached the village completely worn out, as my strength was no longer what it had been since the snake bite. The Dervish still evaded me; he had left the spot where I collapsed, exhausted, just moments before my horse arrived at the door. The carpet he had rested on still lay on the ground. I sent the youngest and sharpest member of my group to search for the fugitive. Confident that this time he wouldn’t escape, my eyes closed in sleep.”
“How long I slept I know not,—a long dream of solitude, fever, and anguish. Was it the curse of the Dervish’s carpet? Was it a taint in the walls of the house, or of the air, which broods sickly and rank over places where cities lie buried? I know not; but the Pest of the East had seized me in slumber. When my senses recovered I found myself alone, plundered of my arms, despoiled of such gold as I had carried about me. All had deserted and left me, as the living leave the dead whom the Plague has claimed for its own. As soon as I could stand I crawled from the threshold. The moment my voice was heard, my face seen, the whole squalid populace rose as on a wild beast,—a mad dog. I was driven from the place with imprecations and stones, as a miscreant whom the Plague had overtaken while plotting the death of a holy man. Bruised and bleeding, but still defying, I turned in wrath on that dastardly rabble; they slunk away from my path. I knew the land for miles around. I had been in that land years, long years ago. I came at last to the road which the caravans take on their way to Damascus. There I was found, speechless and seemingly lifeless, by some European travellers. Conveyed to Damascus, I languished for weeks between life and death. But for the virtue of that essence, which lingered yet in my veins, I could not have survived—even thus feeble and shattered. I need not say that I now abandoned all thought of discovering the Dervish. I had at least his secret, if I had failed of the paltry supply he had drawn from its uses. Such appliances as he had told me were needful are procured in the East with more ease than in Europe. To sum up, I am here, instructed in all the knowledge, and supplied with all the aids, which warrant me in saying, ‘Do you care for new life in its richest enjoyments, if not for yourself, for one whom you love and would reprieve from the grave? Then, share with me in a task that a single night will accomplish, and ravish a prize by which the life that you value the most will be saved from the dust and the worm, to live on, ever young, ever blooming, when each infant, new-born while I speak, shall have passed to the grave. Nay, where is the limit to life, while the earth hides the substance by which life is renewed?”
“How long I slept, I don't know—a long dream of loneliness, fever, and pain. Was it the curse of the Dervish’s carpet? Was it something in the walls of the house, or in the air, which hangs sickly and heavy over places where cities lie buried? I don't know; but the Plague of the East had taken hold of me while I slept. When my senses returned, I found myself alone, stripped of my weapons and robbed of the gold I had with me. Everyone had deserted me, as the living leave the dead who have been claimed by the Plague. As soon as I could stand, I crawled from the doorway. The moment my voice was heard and my face seen, the entire filthy crowd surged up as if I were a wild beast—a rabid dog. I was driven from the place with curses and stones, like a criminal whom the Plague had caught plotting the murder of a holy man. Bruised and bleeding, but still defiant, I turned in anger on that cowardly mob; they slinked away from my path. I knew the land for miles around. I had been in that region years ago. Finally, I reached the road that the caravans take to Damascus. There, I was found, speechless and seemingly lifeless, by some European travelers. Taken to Damascus, I lingered for weeks between life and death. If it weren't for the essence still flowing in my veins, I wouldn't have survived, even in such a weak and broken state. I don’t need to say that I gave up any hope of finding the Dervish. I had at least his secret, even if I had failed to gain the minor benefit he had drawn from it. The tools he mentioned I would need are more easily found in the East than in Europe. In summary, I am here, equipped with all the knowledge and resources that allow me to say, ‘Do you want new life in its fullest enjoyment, for yourself or for someone you love and wish to save from the grave? Then join me in a task that can be completed in a single night, and seize a prize that will save the life you value most from the dust and decay, allowing it to live on, forever young, forever blooming, while each newborn, fresh while I speak, passes into the grave. Indeed, where is the limit to life while the earth conceals the substance that renews it?’”
I give as faithfully as I can recall them the words in which Margrave addressed me. But who can guess by cold words transcribed, even were they artfully ranged by a master of language, the effect words produce when warm from the breath of the speaker? Ask one of an audience which some orator held enthralled, why his words do not quicken a beat in the reader’s pulse, and the answer of one who had listened will be, “The words took their charm from the voice and the eye, the aspect, the manner, the man!” So it was with the incomprehensible being before me. Though his youth was faded, though his beauty was dimmed, though my fancies clothed him with memories of abhorrent dread, though my reason opposed his audacious beliefs and assumptions, still he charmed and spell-bound me; still he was the mystical fascinator; still, if the legends of magic had truth for their basis, he was the born magician,—as genius, in what calling soever, is born with the gift to enchant and subdue us.
I’ll share as accurately as I can remember the words in which Margrave spoke to me. But who can truly understand the impact of words written down, even if they’re skillfully arranged by a master wordsmith? Just ask someone in an audience captivated by an orator why those words don’t stir something in the reader, and the listener will say, “The words drew their power from the voice and the eyes, the presence, the manner, the person!” That’s how it was with the mysterious figure in front of me. Even though his youth had faded, his beauty had dulled, and although my mind filled him with memories of terrifying dread and questioned his bold beliefs and assumptions, he still captivated and entranced me; he remained the mystical charmer; if magic legends had a foundation of truth, he was the born magician—just as genius, in any field, comes with the ability to enchant and influence us.
Constraining myself to answer calmly, I said, “You have told me your story; you have defined the object of the experiment in which you ask me to aid. You do right to bid me postpone my replies or my questions. Seek to recruit by sleep the strength you have so sorely tasked. To-morrow—”
Constraining myself to answer calmly, I said, “You’ve shared your story; you’ve made clear the purpose of the experiment you want me to help with. It’s wise of you to ask me to hold off on my responses or questions. Focus on getting some rest to regain the strength you’ve drained. Tomorrow—”
“To-morrow, ere night, you will decide whether the man whom out of all earth I have selected to aid me shall be the foe to condemn me to perish! I tell you plainly I need your aid, and your prompt aid. Three days from this, and all aid will be too late!”
“To-morrow, before night, you will decide whether the man I have chosen from all the earth to help me will be the enemy that dooms me to die! I’m telling you clearly that I need your help, and I need it quickly. Three days from now, and all help will be too late!”
I had already gained the door of the room, when he called to me to come back.
I had already reached the door of the room when he called out to me to come back.
“You do not live in this but, but with your family yonder. Do not tell them that I am here; let no one but yourself see me as I now am. Lock the door of the hut when you quit it. I should not close my eyes if I were not secure from intruders.”
“You don’t live here, but with your family over there. Don’t tell them I’m here; no one but you should see me like this. Lock the door of the hut when you leave. I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I didn’t feel safe from intruders.”
“There is but one in my house, or in these parts, whom I would except from the interdict you impose. You are aware of your own imminent danger; the life, which you believe the discovery of a Dervish will indefinitely prolong, seems to my eye of physician to hang on a thread. I have already formed my own conjecture as to the nature of the disease that enfeebles you. But I would fain compare that conjecture with the weightier opinion of one whose experience and skill are superior to mine. Permit me, then, when I return to you to-morrow, to bring with me the great physician to whom I refer. His name will not, perhaps, be unknown to you: I speak of Julius Faber.”
“There’s only one person in my house, or in this area, that I would exclude from the ban you’ve set. You know about your own serious risk; the life you think a Dervish can prolong for a while seems to me, as a doctor, to be hanging by a thread. I already have my own theory about the illness that’s weakening you. But I’d like to compare that theory with the more informed opinion of someone whose knowledge and expertise exceed mine. So, when I come back to you tomorrow, may I bring along the renowned doctor I mentioned? You might be familiar with his name: I’m talking about Julius Faber.”
“A physician of the schools! I can guess well enough how learnedly he would prate, and how little he could do. But I will not object to his visit, if it satisfies you that, since I should die under the hands of the doctors, I may be permitted to indulge my own whim in placing my hopes in a Dervish. Yet stay. You have, doubtless, spoken of me to this Julius Faber, your fellow-physician and friend? Promise me, if you bring him here, that you will not name me,—that you will not repeat to him the tale I have told you, or the hope which has led me to these shores. What I have told you, no matter whether, at this moment, you consider me the dupe of a chimera, is still under the seal of the confidence which a patient reposes in the physician he himself selects for his confidant. I select you, and not Julius Faber!”
“A doctor of the schools! I can imagine how much he would go on and on about his knowledge, and how little he could actually help. But I won’t mind his visit if it makes you happy that, since I’m likely to die at the hands of doctors, I’m allowed to follow my own choice and put my hopes in a Dervish. But wait. You’ve probably talked about me to this Julius Faber, your fellow doctor and friend, right? Promise me that if you bring him here, you won’t mention me—that you won’t share the story I’ve told you or the hope that brought me to these shores. What I’ve shared with you, no matter if you think I’m just falling for an illusion right now, is still confidential, just as any patient would trust the physician they choose to confide in. I choose you, not Julius Faber!”
“Be it as you will,” said I, after a moment’s reflection. “The moment you make yourself my patient, I am bound to consider what is best for you. And you may more respect, and profit by, an opinion based upon your purely physical condition than by one in which you might suppose the advice was directed rather to the disease of the mind than to that of the body.”
“Do whatever you want,” I said, after thinking for a moment. “As soon as you become my patient, I have to focus on what’s best for you. You might find it more valuable to take advice based purely on your physical health rather than advice that seems to focus more on mental issues than physical ones.”
“How amazed and indignant your brother-physician will be if he ever see me a second time! How learnedly he will prove that, according to all correct principles of science and nature, I ought to be dead!”
“How shocked and outraged your brother-physician will be if he ever sees me a second time! How expertly he will argue that, according to all valid principles of science and nature, I should be dead!”
He uttered this jest with a faint weary echo of his old merry, melodious laugh, then turned his face to the wall; and so I left him to repose.
He said this joke with a faint, tired echo of his old, cheerful, melodic laugh, then turned his face to the wall; and so I left him to rest.
CHAPTER LXXV.
I found Mrs. Ashleigh waiting for me in our usual sitting-room. She was in tears. She had begun to despond of Lilian’s recovery, and she infected me with her own alarm. However, I disguised my participation in her fears, soothed and sustained her as I best could, and persuaded her to retire to rest. I saw Faber for a few minutes before I sought my own chamber. He assured me that there was no perceptible change for the worse in Lilian’s physical state since he had last seen me, and that her mind, even within the last few hours, had become decidedly more clear. He thought that, within the next twenty-four hours, the reason would make a strong and successful effort for complete recovery; but he declined to hazard more than a hope that the effort would not exhaust the enfeebled powers of the frame. He himself was so in need of a few hours of rest that I ceased to harass him with questions which he could not answer, and fears which he could not appease. Before leaving him for the night, I told him briefly that there was a traveller in my but smitten by a disease which seemed to me so grave that I would ask his opinion of the case, if he could accompany me to the hut the next morning.
I found Mrs. Ashleigh waiting for me in our usual sitting room. She was in tears. She had started to lose hope about Lilian’s recovery, and her worry affected me as well. However, I hid my own fears, comforted her as best as I could, and convinced her to get some rest. I spoke to Faber for a few minutes before heading to my room. He assured me that there hadn’t been any noticeable decline in Lilian’s physical condition since his last visit, and that her mind, even in the last few hours, had become much clearer. He believed that, within the next twenty-four hours, her will would make a strong and successful push for a full recovery; but he was hesitant to promise more than the hope that this push wouldn’t drain her already weakened strength. He himself needed a few hours of rest, so I stopped bothering him with questions he couldn’t answer and fears he couldn’t calm. Before leaving him for the night, I briefly mentioned that there was a traveler in my hut who was stricken with a disease that seemed serious enough that I would like his opinion on the case if he could come with me to the hut the next morning.
My own thoughts that night were not such as would suffer me to sleep.
My thoughts that night kept me from sleeping.
Before Margrave’s melancholy state much of my former fear and abhorrence faded away. This being, so exceptional that fancy might well invest him with preternatural attributes, was now reduced by human suffering to human sympathy and comprehension; yet his utter want of conscience was still as apparent as in his day of joyous animal spirits. With what hideous candour he had related his perfidy and ingratitude to the man to whom, in his belief, he owed an inestimable obligation, and with what insensibility to the signal retribution which in most natures would have awakened remorse!
Before Margrave's sad state, much of my previous fear and disgust faded away. This being, so extraordinary that imagination could easily ascribe supernatural qualities to him, was now diminished by human suffering into something relatable and understandable; yet his complete lack of conscience was as evident as it had been during his days of carefree energy. With what horrific honesty he recounted his betrayal and ingratitude to the man to whom, in his mind, he owed an invaluable debt, and with what indifference to the severe punishment that would have stirred remorse in most people!
And by what dark hints and confessions did he seem to confirm the incredible memoir of Sir Philip Derval! He owned that he had borne from the corpse of Haroun the medicament to which he ascribed his recovery from a state yet more hopeless than that under which he now laboured! He had alluded, rapidly, obscurely, to some knowledge at his command “surer than man’s.” And now, even now the mere wreck of his former existence—by what strange charm did he still control and confuse my reason? And how was it that I felt myself murmuring, again and again, “But what, after all, if his hope be no chimera, and if Nature do hide a secret by which I could save the life of my beloved Lilian?”
And with what dark hints and confessions did he seem to back up the unbelievable story of Sir Philip Derval! He admitted that he had taken from Haroun's body the medicine he credited for his recovery from an even more desperate condition than the one he was currently enduring! He had briefly and vaguely mentioned having some knowledge at his disposal that was "more certain than man's." And now, even in this weakened state of his former self—what strange power did he still have over my thoughts and emotions? And how was it that I kept finding myself whispering, again and again, “But what if his hope isn't just a fantasy, and if Nature really does hide a secret that could save my beloved Lilian’s life?”
And again and again, as that thought would force itself on me, I rose and crept to Lilian’s threshold, listening to catch the faintest sound of her breathing. All still, all dark! In that sufferer recognized science detects no mortal disease, yet dares not bid me rely on its amplest resources of skill to turn aside from her slumber the stealthy advance of death; while in yon log-hut one whose malady recognized science could not doubt to be mortal has composed himself to sleep, confident of life! Recognized science?—recognized ignorance! The science of to-day is the ignorance of to-morrow! Every year some bold guess lights up a truth to which, but the year before, the schoolmen of science were as blinded as moles.
And again and again, as that thought forced itself on me, I got up and crept to Lilian’s doorway, straining to hear the slightest sound of her breathing. Everything was silent, everything was dark! In that suffering person, recognized medical science finds no fatal illness but doesn't dare assure me that its best resources can prevent the silent approach of death from interrupting her sleep; meanwhile, in that log cabin, someone with an illness that recognized science cannot deny as fatal has settled in for sleep, feeling confident about life! Recognized science?—more like recognized ignorance! What we call science today is the ignorance of tomorrow! Every year, a bold hypothesis reveals a truth that, just a year before, the experts in science were as blind to as moles.
“What, then,” my lips kept repeating,—“what if Nature do hide a secret by which the life of my life can be saved? What do we know of the secrets of Nature? What said Newton himself of his knowledge? ‘I am like a child picking up pebbles and shells on the sand, while the great ocean of Truth lies all undiscovered around me!’ And did Newton himself, in the ripest growth of his matchless intellect, hold the creed of the alchemists in scorn? Had he not given to one object of their research, in the transmutation of metals, his days and his nights? Is there proof that he ever convinced himself that the research was the dream, which we, who are not Newtons, call it?(1) And that other great sage, inferior only to Newton—the calculating doubt-weigher, Descartes—had he not believed in the yet nobler hope of the alchemists,—believed in some occult nostrum or process by which human life could attain to the age of the Patriarchs?” (2)
“What, then,” my lips kept repeating, “what if Nature hides a secret that could save my life? What do we really know about the secrets of Nature? What did Newton himself say about his understanding? ‘I am like a child picking up pebbles and shells on the sand, while the vast ocean of Truth remains undiscovered all around me!’ And did Newton, at the peak of his incredible intellect, really scorn the alchemists’ beliefs? Hadn’t he devoted his days and nights to one aspect of their studies, the transmutation of metals? Is there any evidence that he ever convinced himself that this pursuit was just a fantasy, which we, who are not Newton, label it? And that other great thinker, second only to Newton—the analytical skeptic, Descartes—didn’t he believe in the even greater hope of the alchemists, trusting in some hidden remedy or process that could allow human life to reach the age of the Patriarchs?”
In thoughts like these the night wore away, the moonbeams that streamed through my window lighting up the spacious solitudes beyond,—mead and creek, forest-land, mountaintop,—and the silence without broken by the wild cry of the night hawk and the sibilant melancholy dirge of the shining chrysococyx,(3)—bird that never sings but at night, and obstinately haunts the roofs of the sick and dying, ominous of woe and death.
In thoughts like these, the night passed by, the moonlight streaming through my window illuminating the vast emptiness outside—meadow and creek, forest land, mountaintop—and the silence broken only by the wild call of the night hawk and the soft, sad song of the shining chrysococyx, a bird that only sings at night and stubbornly lingers on the roofs of the sick and dying, a sign of sorrow and death.
But up sprang the sun, and, chasing these gloomy sounds, out burst the wonderful chorus of Australian groves, the great kingfisher opening the jocund melodious babble with the glee of his social laugh.
But up sprang the sun, and, chasing away these gloomy sounds, the amazing chorus of Australian groves burst forth, with the great kingfisher starting the cheerful, melodious chatter with the joy of his sociable laugh.
And now I heard Faber’s step in Lilian’s room,—heard through the door her soft voice, though I could not distinguish the words. It was not long before I saw the kind physician standing at the threshold of my chamber. He pressed his finger to his lip, and made me a sign to follow him. I obeyed, with noiseless tread and stifled breathing. He awaited me in the garden under the flowering acacias, passed his arm in mine, and drew me into the open pasture-land.
And now I heard Faber’s footsteps in Lilian’s room—I could hear her soft voice through the door, but I couldn’t make out the words. It wasn’t long before I saw the kind doctor standing at the entrance of my room. He put his finger to his lips and signaled for me to follow him. I obeyed, walking quietly and breathing softly. He waited for me in the garden beneath the blooming acacias, linked his arm with mine, and led me into the open fields.
“Compose yourself,” he then said; “I bring you tidings both of gladness and of fear. Your Lilian’s mind is restored: even the memories which had been swept away by the fever that followed her return to her home in L—— are returning, though as yet indistinct. She yearns to see you, to bless you for all your noble devotion, your generous, greathearted love; but I forbid such interview now. If, in a few hours, she become either decidedly stronger or decidedly more enfeebled, you shall be summoned to her side. Even if you are condemned to a loss for which the sole consolation must be placed in the life hereafter, you shall have, at least, the last mortal commune of soul with soul. Courage! courage! You are man! Bear as man what you have so often bid other men submit to endure.”
“Calm down,” he said. “I bring you news that is both joyful and frightening. Your Lilian’s mind is coming back to her: even the memories that were lost due to the fever after her return home to L—— are starting to return, though they’re still a bit unclear. She longs to see you, to thank you for your selfless devotion and your generous love; but I can’t allow that meeting right now. If, in a few hours, she becomes either clearly stronger or clearly weaker, you’ll be called to her. Even if you end up facing a loss for which the only comfort will be in the life beyond, you will at least have the chance for a final connection, soul to soul. Stay strong! Stay strong! You’re a man! Endure like a man what you’ve often asked others to bear.”
I had flung myself on the ground,—writhing worm that had no home but on earth! Man, indeed! Man! All, at that moment, I took from manhood was its acute sensibility to love and to anguish!
I had thrown myself on the ground—like a writhing worm with no home except the earth! Humanity, indeed! Humanity! At that moment, all I took from being a man was its deep sensitivity to love and suffering!
But after all such paroxysms of mortal pain, there comes a strange lull. Thought itself halts, like the still hush of water between two descending torrents. I rose in a calm, which Faber might well mistake for fortitude.
But after all that intense suffering, there comes a strange quiet. Thoughts stop, like the stillness of water between two rushing streams. I got up feeling calm, which Faber might easily mistake for strength.
“Well,” I said quietly, “fulfil your promise. If Lilian is to pass away from me, I shall see her, at least, again; no wall, you tell me, between our minds; mind to mind once more,—once more!”
“Well,” I said softly, “keep your promise. If Lilian is going to leave me, I want to see her again; you say there’s no wall between our minds; mind to mind once more—once more!”
“Allen,” said Faber, mournfully and softly, “why do you shun to repeat my words—soul to soul?”
“Allen,” Faber said, sadly and gently, “why do you avoid repeating my words—soul to soul?”
“Ay, ay,—I understand. Those words mean that you have resigned all hope that Lilian’s life will linger here, when her mind comes back in full consciousness; I know well that last lightning flash and the darkness which swallows it up!”
"Ay, ay—I get it. Those words mean that you’ve given up all hope that Lilian will stay alive here when she regains full consciousness; I know that last flash of light and the darkness that follows it!"
“You exaggerate my fears. I have not resigned the hope that Lilian will survive the struggle through which she is passing, but it will be cruel to deceive you—my hope is weaker than it was.”
“You're exaggerating my fears. I haven't given up hope that Lilian will make it through this struggle, but it would be unfair to deceive you—my hope is not as strong as it used to be.”
“Ay, ay. Again, I understand! Your science is in fault,—it desponds. Its last trust is in the wonderful resources of Nature, the vitality stored in the young!”
“Ay, ay. I get it now! Your science is at fault—it’s discouraged. Its final hope lies in the incredible resources of Nature, the energy held in the young!”
“You have said,—those resources of Nature are wondrous. The vitality of youth is a fountain springing up from the deeps out of sight, when, a moment before, we had measured the drops oozing out from the sands, and thought that the well was exhausted.”
“You said, those resources of Nature are amazing. The energy of youth is like a fountain bubbling up from deep underground, even when just moments before, we had been counting the drops trickling out from the sand and thought that the well was empty.”
“Come with me,—come. I told you of another sufferer yonder. I want your opinion of his case. But can you be spared a few minutes from Lilian’s side?”
“Come with me—come. I mentioned another person in pain over there. I want your thoughts on his situation. But can you step away for a few minutes from Lilian?”
“Yes; I left her asleep. What is the case that perplexes your eye of physician, which is usually keener than mine, despite all the length of my practice?”
“Yes; I left her asleep. What’s the issue that has you puzzled, with your sharp eye as a doctor, which is usually sharper than mine, even after all my years of experience?”
“The sufferer is young, his organization rare in its vigour. He has gone through and survived assaults upon life that are commonly fatal. His system has been poisoned by the fangs of a venomous asp, and shattered by the blast of the plague. These alone, I believe, would not suffice to destroy him. But he is one who has a strong dread of death; and while the heart was thus languid and feeble, it has been gnawed by emotions of hope or of fear. I suspect that he is dying, not from the bite of the reptile, not from the taint of the pestilence, but from the hope and the fear that have overtasked the heart’s functions. Judge for yourself.”
“The patient is young, his body unusually strong. He has faced and survived life-threatening challenges that usually end in death. His system has been poisoned by the fangs of a venomous snake and devastated by the plague. I believe these alone wouldn’t be enough to kill him.
We were now at the door of the hut. I unlocked it: we entered. Margrave had quitted his bed, and was pacing the room slowly. His step was less feeble, his countenance less haggard than on the previous evening.
We were now at the door of the hut. I unlocked it: we entered. Margrave had gotten out of bed and was slowly pacing the room. His step was steadier, and his face looked less worn than it had the night before.
He submitted himself to Faber’s questioning with a quiet indifference, and evidently cared nothing for any opinion which the great physician might found on his replies.
He answered Faber’s questions with a calm indifference and clearly didn’t care about any opinion the esteemed doctor might form based on his responses.
When Faber had learned all he could, he said, with a grave smile: “I see that my advice will have little weight with you; such as it is, at least reflect on it. The conclusions to which your host arrived in his view of your case, and which he confided to me, are, in my humble judgment, correct. I have no doubt that the great organ of the heart is involved in the cause of your sufferings; but the heart is a noble and much-enduring organ. I have known men in whom it has been more severely and unequivocally affected with disease than it is in you, live on for many years, and ultimately die of some other disorder. But then life was held, as yours must be held, upon one condition,—repose. I enjoin you to abstain from all violent action, to shun all excitements that cause moral disturbance. You are young: would you live on, you must live as the old. More than this,—it is my duty to warn you that your tenure on earth is very precarious; you may attain to many years; you may be suddenly called hence tomorrow. The best mode to regard this uncertainty with the calm in which is your only chance of long life, is so to arrange all your worldly affairs, and so to discipline all your human anxieties, as to feel always prepared for the summons that may come without warning. For the rest, quit this climate as soon as you can,—it is the climate in which the blood courses too quickly for one who should shun all excitement. Seek the most equable atmosphere, choose the most tranquil pursuits; and Fenwick himself, in his magnificent pride of stature and strength, may be nearer the grave than you are.”
When Faber had learned all he could, he said with a serious smile, “I understand that my advice may not mean much to you; still, please think about it. The conclusions your host came to regarding your situation, which he shared with me, are, in my humble opinion, correct. I have no doubt that a significant issue with your heart is part of your suffering; however, the heart is a resilient and durable organ. I’ve known people whose hearts were much more severely and clearly affected by disease than yours, yet they lived for many years and ultimately passed away from something else. But then, their lives were sustained, just as yours must be, under one condition—rest. I urge you to avoid all intense activities and to steer clear of any excitement that causes emotional turmoil. You are young: if you wish to live, you must live like the old. Additionally, it's my duty to warn you that your time on earth is quite uncertain; you could live for many more years or be suddenly gone tomorrow. The best way to handle this uncertainty with the calmness that gives you your only chance of a long life is to organize all your worldly affairs and manage your worries so that you always feel ready for a sudden call. For now, leave this climate as soon as you can—it’s a place where the blood flows too quickly for someone who should avoid excitement. Look for a more stable environment, pursue the most peaceful activities; and remember, even Fenwick, with his impressive stature and strength, may be closer to death than you are.”
“Your opinion coincides with that I have just heard?” asked Margrave, turning to me.
“Does your opinion match what I just heard?” Margrave asked, turning to me.
“In much—yes.”
“In a lot—yes.”
“It is more favourable than I should have supposed. I am far from disdaining the advice so kindly offered. Permit me, in turn, two or three questions, Dr. Faber. Do you prescribe to me no drugs from your pharmacopoeia?”
“It’s better than I expected. I don’t disregard the advice you’ve kindly given. Allow me, in return, to ask you two or three questions, Dr. Faber. Are you not prescribing me any medications from your pharmacy?”
“Drugs may palliate many sufferings incidental to organic disease, but drugs cannot reach organic disease itself.”
“Medications can ease many pains caused by physical illnesses, but they can’t cure the illnesses themselves.”
“Do you believe that, even where disease is plainly organic, Nature herself has no alternative and reparative powers, by which the organ assailed may recover itself?”
“Do you think that, even when an illness is clearly physical, Nature has no ability to heal or restore the affected organ?”
“A few exceptional instances of such forces in Nature are upon record; but we must go by general laws, and not by exceptions.”
“A few exceptional cases of such forces in Nature have been recorded; however, we must rely on general principles, not exceptions.”
“Have you never known instances—do you not at this moment know one—in which a patient whose malady baffles the doctor’s skill, imagines or dreams of a remedy? Call it a whim if you please, learned sir; do you not listen to the whim, and, in despair of your own prescriptions, comply with those of the patient?”
“Have you never seen situations—don’t you right now know of one—where a patient, whose illness confounds the doctor's expertise, thinks of or dreams up a cure? Call it a fancy if you want, learned sir; don’t you pay attention to that fancy, and, in frustration with your own treatments, go along with what the patient suggests?”
Faber changed countenance, and even started. Margrave watched him and laughed.
Faber's expression changed, and he even jumped a bit. Margrave observed him and laughed.
“You grant that there are such cases, in which the patient gives the law to the physician. Now, apply your experience to my case. Suppose some strange fancy had seized upon my imagination—that is the doctor’s cant word for all phenomena which we call exceptional—some strange fancy that I had thought of a cure for this disease for which you have no drugs; and suppose this fancy of mine to be so strong, so vivid, that to deny me its gratification would produce the very emotion from which you warn me as fatal,—storm the heart, that you would soothe to repose, by the passions of rage and despair,—would you, as my trusted physician, concede or deny me my whim?”
“You admit there are situations where the patient dictates to the doctor. Now, apply your experience to my situation. Imagine I had this bizarre idea—it's the doctor's term for what we call exceptional cases—that I discovered a cure for this illness for which you have no medication; and let's say this idea is so intense, so clear, that denying me its realization would trigger the very feelings you warn me are dangerous—those emotions that could disturb the heart you want to calm with feelings of anger and despair—would you, as my trusted doctor, allow or deny me my wish?”
“Can you ask? I should grant it at once, if I had no reason to know that the thing that you fancied was harmful.”
“Can you ask? I would agree right away, if I didn’t have a reason to believe that what you wanted was damaging.”
“Good man and wise doctor! I have no other question to ask. I thank you.”
“Good man and wise doctor! I don’t have any other questions to ask. Thank you.”
Faber looked hard on the young, wan face, over which played a smile of triumph and irony; then turned away with an expression of doubt and trouble on his own noble countenance. I followed him silently into the open air.
Faber studied the young, pale face, where a smile of victory and sarcasm flickered; then he turned away, his own noble expression showing doubt and concern. I followed him silently into the fresh air.
“Who and what is this visitor of yours?” he asked abruptly.
“Who is this visitor of yours and what do they want?” he asked suddenly.
“Who and what? I cannot tell you.”
“Who and what? I can’t say.”
Faber remained some moments musing, and muttering slowly to himself, “Tut! but a chance coincidence,—a haphazard allusion to a fact which he could not have known!”
Faber paused for a moment, lost in thought, and muttered slowly to himself, “Wow! Just a random coincidence—a casual reference to something he couldn’t have known!”
“Faber,” said I, abruptly, “can it be that Lilian is the patient in whose self-suggested remedies you confide more than in the various learning at command of your practised skill?”
“Faber,” I said suddenly, “is it possible that Lilian is the patient whose self-suggested treatments you trust more than the extensive knowledge you have from your experience?”
“I cannot deny it,” replied Faber, reluctantly. “In the intervals of that suspense from waking sense, which in her is not sleep, nor yet altogether catalepsy, she has, for the last few days, stated accurately the precise moment in which the trance—if I may so call it—would pass away, and prescribed for herself the remedies that should be then administered. In every instance, the remedies so self-prescribed, though certainly not those which would have occurred to my mind, have proved efficacious. Her rapid progress to reason I ascribe to the treatment she herself ordained in her trance, without remembrance of her own suggestions when she awoke. I had meant to defer communicating these phenomena in the idiosyncrasy of her case until our minds could more calmly inquire into the process by which ideas—not apparently derived, as your metaphysical school would derive all ideas, from preconceived experiences—will thus sometimes act like an instinct on the human sufferer for self-preservation, as the bird is directed to the herb or the berry which heals or assuages its ailments. We know how the mesmerists would account for this phenomenon of hygienic introvision and clairvoyance. But here, there is no mesmerizer, unless the patient can be supposed to mesmerize herself. Long, however, before mesmerism was heard of, medical history attests examples in which patients who baffled the skill of the ablest physicians have fixed their fancies on some remedy that physicians would call inoperative for good or for harm, and have recovered by the remedies thus singularly self-suggested. And Hippocrates himself, if I construe his meaning rightly, recognizes the powers for self-cure which the condition of trance will sometimes bestow on the sufferer, ‘where’ (says the father of our art) ‘the sight being closed to the external, the soul more truthfully perceives the affections of the body.’ In short—I own it—in this instance, the skill of the physician has been a compliant obedience to the instinct called forth in the patient; and the hopes I have hitherto permitted myself to give you were founded on my experience that her own hopes, conceived in trance, had never been fallacious or exaggerated. The simples that I gathered for her yesterday she had described; they are not in our herbal. But as they are sometimes used by the natives, I had the curiosity to analyze their chemical properties shortly after I came to the colony, and they seemed to me as innocent as lime-blossoms. They are rare in this part of Australia, but she told me where I should find them,—a remote spot, which she has certainly never visited. Last night, when you saw me disturbed, dejected, it was because, for the first time, the docility with which she had hitherto, in her waking state, obeyed her own injunctions in the state of trance, forsook her. She could not be induced to taste the decoction I had made from the herbs; and if you found me this morning with weaker hopes than before, this is the real cause,—namely, that when I visited her at sunrise, she was not in sleep but in trance, and in that trance she told me that she had nothing more to suggest or reveal; that on the complete restoration of her senses, which was at hand, the abnormal faculties vouchsafed to trance would be withdrawn. ‘As for my life,’ she said quietly, as if unconscious of our temporary joy or woe in the term of its tenure here,—‘as for my life, your aid is now idle; my own vision obscure; on my life a dark and cold shadow is resting. I cannot foresee if it will pass away. When I strive to look around, I see but my Allen—‘”
“I can’t deny it,” Faber replied, reluctantly. “During the moments of that strange state she’s in, which isn’t really sleep or entirely like catalepsy, she has accurately predicted the exact moment when her trance—if I may call it that—will end, and has prescribed for herself the remedies that should be given then. In each case, the remedies she chose, though definitely not what I would have thought of, have worked effectively. I attribute her swift return to reason to the treatment she suggested for herself during her trance, even though she has no memory of those suggestions when she wakes up. I had planned to wait before sharing these observations about her unique case until we could better examine the process by which thoughts—seemingly not derived from past experiences, as your philosophical school would suggest—sometimes act like instinct for self-preservation, similar to how a bird knows which herb or berry can heal its ailments. We know how mesmerists might explain this phenomenon of hygienic introspection and clairvoyance. But here, there’s no mesmerizer, unless we assume the patient is somehow mesmerizing herself. Long before mesmerism was known, medical history records instances in which patients who confounded the skills of the best doctors have fixated on some remedy that those doctors would deem ineffective, and yet those patients have recovered thanks to these uniquely self-suggested remedies. And Hippocrates himself, if I interpret him correctly, acknowledges the self-healing powers that can emerge during a trance state, stating that, ‘when the eyes are closed to the outside, the soul perceives the body’s ailments more clearly.’ In short—I admit it—in this case, the physician’s skill has been a willing compliance with the instinct that arose in the patient; and the hopes I’ve allowed myself to express to you were based on my experience that her own hopes, formed during trance, have never been false or exaggerated. The herbs I gathered for her yesterday, she accurately described; they aren’t in our herbal. However, since they are sometimes used by the locals, I was curious to analyze their chemical properties shortly after arriving in the colony, and they appeared to be as harmless as lime blossoms. They are rare in this part of Australia, but she told me where to find them—a distant location that she’s definitely never visited. Last night, when you saw me troubled and downcast, it was because, for the first time, the obedience she had consistently shown in her waking state to her trance directions abandoned her. She couldn’t be persuaded to try the brew I made from the herbs; and if I seemed to have less hope this morning than before, that is the real reason—when I saw her at sunrise, she wasn’t asleep but in a trance, and during that trance she told me she had nothing more to suggest or reveal; that upon the full restoration of her senses, which is imminent, the unusual abilities granted during the trance would be taken away. ‘As for my life,’ she said quietly, seemingly unaware of our temporary joy or sorrow regarding its duration here, ‘as for my life, your help is now pointless; my own vision is clouded; a dark and cold shadow is looming over my life. I can’t foresee if it will go away. When I try to look around, all I see is my Allen—’”
“And so,” said I, mastering my emotions, “in bidding me hope, you did not rely on your own resources of science, but on the whisper of Nature in the brain of your patient?”
“And so,” I said, steadying my emotions, “when you tell me to hope, you’re not depending on your scientific knowledge, but on the subtle signs of Nature in the mind of your patient?”
“It is so.”
"That's right."
We both remained silent some moments, and then, as he disappeared within my house, I murmured,—
We both stayed quiet for a bit, and then, as he walked into my house, I whispered,—
“And when she strives to look beyond the shadow, she sees only me! Is there some prophet-hint of Nature there also, directing me not to scorn the secret which a wanderer, so suddenly dropped on my solitude, assures me that Nature will sometimes reveal to her seeker? And oh! that dark wanderer—has Nature a marvel more weird than himself?”
“And when she tries to look beyond the shadow, she sees only me! Is there some hint from Nature there too, telling me not to dismiss the secret that a wanderer, who unexpectedly appeared in my solitude, assures me that Nature will sometimes reveal to those who seek it? And oh! that dark wanderer—does Nature have anything stranger than him?”
(1) “Besides the three great subjects of Newton’s labours—the fluxional calculus, physical astronomy, and optics—a very large portion of his time, while resident in his college, was devoted to researches of which scarcely a trace remains. Alchemy, which had fascinated so many eager and ambitious minds, seems to have tempted Newton with an overwhelming force. What theories he formed, what experiments he tried, in that laboratory where, it is said, the fire was scarcely extinguished for weeks together, will never be known. It is certain that no success attended his labours; and Newton was not a man—like Kepler—to detail to the world all the hopes and disappointments, all the crude and mystical fancies, which mixed themselves up with his career of philosophy... Many years later we find Newton in correspondence with Locke, with reference to a mysterious red earth by which Boyle, who was then recently dead, had asserted that he could effect the grand desideratum of multiplying gold. By this time, however, Newton’s faith had become somewhat shaken by the unsatisfactory communications which he had himself received from Boyle on the subject of the golden recipe, though he did not abandon the idea of giving the experiment a further trial as soon as the weather should become suitable for furnace experiments.”—Quarterly Review, No. 220, pp. 125, 126.
(1) “In addition to the three main areas of Newton’s work—the calculus of fluxions, physical astronomy, and optics—he spent a significant amount of time while at college researching topics that have left barely any evidence behind. Alchemy, which had captivated so many eager and ambitious minds, seemed to have drawn Newton in with irresistible force. What theories he developed and what experiments he conducted in that lab, where it’s said the fire burned nearly continuously for weeks, will remain unknown. It’s clear that he didn’t find success in his efforts; and unlike Kepler, Newton wasn’t the kind of person to share all his hopes and disappointments, or the strange and mystical ideas that intertwined with his philosophical journey... Many years later, we find Newton exchanging letters with Locke about a mysterious red earth that Boyle, who had recently passed away, claimed could help him achieve the ultimate goal of turning base metals into gold. By then, however, Newton’s confidence had been somewhat shaken by the unsatisfactory messages he had received from Boyle regarding the golden recipe, even though he didn’t give up on trying the experiment again as soon as the weather became favorable for furnace tests.”—Quarterly Review, No. 220, pp. 125, 126.
(2) Southey, in his “Doctor,” vol. vi. p. 2, reports the conversation of Sir Kenelm Digby with Descartes, in which the great geometrician said, “That as for rendering man immortal, it was what he could not venture to promise, but that he was very sure he could prolong his life to the standard of the patriarchs.” And Southey adds, “that St. Evremond, to whom Digby repeated this, says that this opinion of Descartes was well known both to his friends in Holland and in France.” By the stress Southey lays on this hearsay evidence, it is clear that he was not acquainted with the works and biography of Descartes, or he would have gone to the fountain-head for authority on Descartes’s opinions, namely, Descartes himself. It is to be wished that Southey had done so, for no one more than he would have appreciated the exquisitely candid and lovable nature of the illustrious Frenchman, and the sincerity with which he cherished in his heart whatever doctrine he conceived in his understanding. Descartes, whose knowledge of anatomy was considerable, had that passion for the art of medicine which is almost inseparable from the pursuit of natural philosophy. At the age of twenty-four he had sought (in Germany) to obtain initiation into the brotherhood of the Rosicrucians, but unluckily could not discover any member of the society to introduce him. “He desired,” says Cousin, “to assure the health of man, diminish his ills, extend his existence. He was terrified by the rapid and almost momentary passage of man upon earth. He believed it was not, perhaps, impossible to prolong its duration.” There is a hidden recess of grandeur in this idea, and the means proposed by Descartes for the execution of his project were not less grand. In his “Discourse on Method,” Descartes says, “If it is possible to find some means to render generally men more wise and more able than they have been till now, it is, I believe, in medicine that those means must be sought... I am sure that there is no one, even in the medical profession, who will not avow that all which one knows of the medical art is almost nothing in comparison to that which remains to learn, and that one could be exempted from an infinity of maladies, both of body and mind, and even, perhaps, from the decrepitude of old age, if one had sufficient lore of their causes and of all the remedies which nature provides for them. Therefore, having design to employ all my life in the research of a science so necessary, and having discovered a path which appears to me such that one ought infallibly, in following, to find it, if one is not hindered prematurely by the brevity of life or by the defects of experience, I consider that there is no better remedy against those two hindrances than to communicate faithfully to the public the little I have found,” etc. (“Discours de la Methode,” vol. i. OEuvres de Descartes, Cousin’s Edition.) And again, in his “Correspondence” (vol. ix. p. 341), he says: “The conservation of health has been always the principal object of my studies, and I have no doubt that there is a means of acquiring much knowledge touching medicine which, up to this time, is ignored.” He then refers to his meditated Treatise on Animals as only an entrance upon that knowledge. But whatever secrets Descartes may have thought to discover, they are not made known to the public according to his promise. And in a letter to M. Chanut, written in 1646 (four years before he died), he says ingenuously: “I will tell you in confidence that the notion, such as it is, which I have endeavoured to acquire in physical philosophy, had greatly assisted me to establish certain foundations for moral philosophy; and that I am more easily satisfied upon this point than I am on many others touching medicine, to which I have, nevertheless, devoted much more time. So that”—(adds the grand thinker, with a pathetic nobleness )—“so that, instead of finding the means to preserve life, I have found another good, more easy and more sure, which is—not to fear death.”
(2) Southey, in his "Doctor," vol. vi. p. 2, recounts a conversation between Sir Kenelm Digby and Descartes, in which the great mathematician said, “As for making man immortal, I can’t promise that, but I’m pretty sure I can extend life to the level of the patriarchs.” Southey adds, “St. Evremond, to whom Digby shared this, mentions that Descartes's view was well known among his friends in Holland and France.” By placing so much emphasis on this secondhand account, it’s clear Southey wasn’t familiar with Descartes's works or biography; otherwise, he would have gone straight to the source—Descartes himself. It would have been great if Southey had done that because no one would have appreciated the wonderfully honest and endearing character of the famous Frenchman more than he would have, or the sincerity with which Descartes held any belief he developed in his mind. Descartes, whose understanding of anatomy was quite extensive, had a passion for the art of medicine that’s nearly inseparable from the study of natural philosophy. At just twenty-four, he sought to join the Rosicrucians in Germany but unfortunately couldn’t find anyone to introduce him to the group. “He wanted,” Cousin says, “to promote human health, reduce suffering, and extend life. He was alarmed by how quickly life passes on earth. He thought it might not be impossible to extend its duration.” There’s a profound sense of grandeur in this idea, and the methods Descartes proposed to pursue this ambition were equally ambitious. In his "Discourse on Method," Descartes states, “If there’s a way to make people generally wiser and more capable than they have been until now, I believe that medicine is where we should look for those means... I’m certain that no one, even in the medical field, would deny that what we know about medicine is almost nothing compared to what there is still to learn, and that we could avoid countless illnesses, both physical and mental, and perhaps even the frailties of old age, if we had enough knowledge of their causes and the remedies nature offers for them. So, having decided to dedicate my life to studying such a necessary science, and having found a path that seems likely to lead to the truth—unless I’m cut short by the brevity of life or lack of experience—I believe the best remedy against these obstacles is to share with the public the little I have discovered,” etc. (“Discours de la Methode,” vol. i. OEuvres de Descartes, Cousin’s Edition.) And again, in his "Correspondence" (vol. ix. p. 341), he says: “The maintenance of health has always been my main focus, and I have no doubt that there’s a lot about medicine that’s still unknown.” He then refers to his planned Treatise on Animals as just the beginning of that knowledge. However, whatever secrets Descartes may have hoped to uncover, they weren’t revealed to the public as he promised. In a letter to M. Chanut, written in 1646 (four years before he died), he candidly states: “I’ll let you in on a secret: the ideas I’ve tried to develop in physical philosophy have greatly helped me lay down some foundations for moral philosophy; and I’m more easily satisfied on this topic than on many others regarding medicine, to which I’ve, nonetheless, dedicated much more time. So that”—(the great thinker adds with touching nobility)—“so that, instead of finding ways to preserve life, I’ve discovered something else, easier and more certain, which is—not to fear death.”
(3) Chrysococyx lucidus,—namely, the bird popularly called the shining or bronzed cuckoo. “Its note is an exceedingly melancholy whistle, heard at night, when it is very annoying to any sick or nervous person who may be inclined to sleep. I have known many instances where the bird has been perched on a tree in the vicinity of the room of an invalid, uttering its mournful notes, and it was only with the greatest difficulty that it could be dislodged from its position.”—Dr. Bennett: Gatherings of a Naturalist in Australasia.
(3) Chrysococyx lucidus,—the bird commonly known as the shining or bronzed cuckoo. “Its call is a very sad whistle, heard at night, which can be quite disturbing to anyone sick or anxious trying to sleep. I’ve seen many cases where the bird has been sitting in a tree near a patient’s room, making its sorrowful sounds, and it was only with great effort that it could be moved from its spot.”—Dr. Bennett: Gatherings of a Naturalist in Australasia.
CHAPTER LXXVI.
I strayed through the forest till noon, in debate with myself, and strove to shape my wild doubts into purpose, before I could nerve and compose myself again to face Margrave alone.
I wandered through the forest until noon, arguing with myself, trying to turn my wild uncertainties into a clear purpose before I could gather my courage and prepare to confront Margrave alone.
I re-entered the hut. To my surprise, Margrave was not in the room in which I had left him, nor in that which adjoined it. I ascended the stairs to the kind of loft in which I had been accustomed to pursue my studies, but in which I had not set foot since my alarm for Lilian had suspended my labours. There I saw Margrave quietly seated before the manuscript of my Ambitious Work, which lay open on the rude table, just as I had left it, in the midst of its concluding summary.
I went back into the hut. To my surprise, Margrave wasn't in the room where I left him, nor in the one next to it. I climbed the stairs to the loft where I used to study, but hadn’t been since I got worried about Lilian and stopped my work. There I found Margrave sitting calmly in front of the manuscript of my Ambitious Work, which was open on the rough table, exactly as I had left it, in the middle of its final summary.
“I have taken the license of former days, you see,” said Margrave, smiling, “and have hit by chance on a passage I can understand without effort. But why such a waste of argument to prove a fact so simple? In man, as in brute, life once lost is lost forever; and that is why life is so precious to man.”
“I’ve taken the liberty of quoting from the past, you see,” said Margrave, smiling, “and I’ve stumbled upon a passage I can easily understand. But why go through so much trouble to argue a point that’s so basic? For both humans and animals, once life is lost, it’s gone forever; that’s why life is so valuable to us.”
I took the book from his hand, and flung it aside in wrath. His approval revolted me more with my own theories than all the argumentative rebukes of Faber.
I snatched the book from his hand and tossed it aside in anger. His approval disgusted me more regarding my own theories than all of Faber's argumentative criticisms.
“And now,” I said, sternly, “the time has come for the explanation you promised. Before I can aid you in any experiment that may serve to prolong your life, I must know how far that life has been a baleful and destroying influence?”
“And now,” I said firmly, “it’s time for the explanation you promised. Before I can help you with any experiment that might extend your life, I need to know how much that life has been harmful and destructive.”
“I have some faint recollection of having saved your life from an imminent danger, and if gratitude were the attribute of man, as it is of the dog, I should claim your aid to serve mine as a right. Ask me what you will. You must have seen enough of me to know that I do not affect either the virtues or vices of others. I regard both with so supreme an indifference, that I believe I am vicious or virtuous unawares. I know not if I can explain what seems to have perplexed you, but if I cannot explain I have no intention to lie. Speak—I listen! We have time enough now before us.”
“I have a faint memory of saving your life from danger, and if gratitude were a human trait like it is for dogs, I would consider your help a right. Ask me anything you want. You’ve seen enough of me to know I don’t pretend to have the virtues or vices of others. I’m so indifferent to both that I think I might be either without realizing it. I’m not sure if I can explain what seems to confuse you, but if I can’t, I won’t lie. Go ahead—I’m listening! We have plenty of time now.”
So saying, he reclined back in the chair, stretching out his limbs wearily. All round this spoilt darling of Material Nature were the aids and appliances of Intellectual Science,—books and telescopes and crucibles, with the light of day coming through a small circular aperture in the boarded casement, as I had constructed the opening for my experimental observation of the prismal rays.
So saying, he leaned back in the chair, stretching his arms and legs tiredly. All around this pampered child of Material Nature were the tools and equipment of Intellectual Science—books, telescopes, and crucibles, with sunlight streaming through a small circular opening in the boarded window, which I had made for my experiments with the prism rays.
While I write, his image is as visible before my remembrance as if before the actual eye,—beautiful even in its decay, awful even in its weakness, mysterious as is Nature herself amidst all the mechanism by which our fancied knowledge attempts to measure her laws and analyze her light.
While I write, his image is as clear in my mind as if it were right in front of me—beautiful even in its decline, terrifying even in its frailty, mysterious like Nature herself amidst all the systems we use to try to understand her laws and explain her light.
But at that moment no such subtle reflections delayed my inquisitive eager mind from its immediate purpose,—who and what was this creature boasting of a secret through which I might rescue from death the life of her who was my all upon the earth?
But at that moment, no deep thoughts held back my curious and eager mind from its immediate goal—who was this person claiming to have a secret that could save the life of the one who meant everything to me on this earth?
I gathered rapidly and succinctly together all that I knew and all that I guessed of Margrave’s existence and arts. I commenced from my vision in that mimic Golgotha of creatures inferior to man, close by the scene of man’s most trivial and meaningless pastime. I went on,—Derval’s murder; the missing contents of the casket; the apparition seen by the maniac assassin guiding him to the horrid deed; the luminous haunting shadow; the positive charge in the murdered man’s memoir connecting Margrave with Louis Grayle, and accusing him of the murder of Haroun; the night in the moonlit pavilion at Derval Court; the baneful influence on Lilian; the struggle between me and himself in the house by the seashore,—the strange All that is told in this Strange Story.
I quickly gathered everything I knew and guessed about Margrave’s life and skills. I started with my vision in that imitation hell filled with creatures less than human, right next to where people indulge in the most trivial and meaningless activities. I continued with—Derval’s murder; the missing items from the casket; the apparition seen by the maniac assassin that led him to the horrible act; the glowing haunting shadow; the clear link in the murdered man’s memoir tying Margrave to Louis Grayle and accusing him of Haroun’s murder; the night in the moonlit pavilion at Derval Court; the harmful influence on Lilian; the struggle between me and him in the house by the seaside,—everything strange that’s told in this Strange Story.
But warming as I spoke, and in a kind of fierce joy to be enabled thus to free my own heart of the doubts that had burdened it, now that I was fairly face to face with the being by whom my reason had been so perplexed and my life so tortured. I was restrained by none of the fears lest my own fancy deceived me, with which in his absence I had striven to reduce to natural causes the portents of terror and wonder. I stated plainly, directly, the beliefs, the impressions which I had never dared even to myself to own without seeking to explain them away. And coming at last to a close, I said: “Such are the evidences that seem to me to justify abhorrence of the life that you ask me to aid in prolonging. Your own tale of last night but confirms them. And why to me—to me—do you come with wild entreaties to lengthen the life that has blighted my own? How did you even learn the home in which I sought unavailing refuge? How—as your hint to Faber clearly revealed—were you aware that, in yon house, where the sorrow is veiled, where the groan is suppressed, where the foot-tread falls ghostlike, there struggles now between life and death my heart’s twin, my world’s sunshine? Ah! through my terror for her, is it a demon that tells you how to bribe my abhorrence into submission, and supple my reason into use to your ends?”
But as I spoke, with a fierce joy at finally being able to free my heart from the doubts that had weighed it down, now that I was face to face with the being who had puzzled my mind and tormented my life. I wasn’t held back by any fears that my own imagination was tricking me, which I had tried to rationalize the terrifying and wondrous signs in his absence. I laid out clearly and directly the beliefs and impressions I had never dared to acknowledge, even to myself, without trying to explain them away. And as I finally wrapped up, I said: “These are the reasons that seem to justify my disgust for the life you want me to help prolong. Your story from last night confirms this. And why do you come to me—with desperate pleas—to extend the life that has destroyed my own? How did you even find out about the home where I sought futile refuge? How—just as your hint to Faber revealed—did you know that, in that house, where sorrow is hidden, where groans are stifled, where footsteps are ghostly, my heart’s counterpart, my world’s light, is now caught between life and death? Ah! Out of my fear for her, is it a demon that instructs you on how to manipulate my revulsion into submission, and bend my reason to serve your purposes?”
Margrave had listened to me throughout with a fixed attention, at times with a bewildered stare, at times with exclamations of surprise, but not of denial. And when I had done, he remained for some moments silent, seemingly stupefied, passing his hand repeatedly over his brow, in the gesture so familiar to him in former days.
Margrave had listened to me intently the whole time, sometimes with a confused look, sometimes with surprised exclamations, but never denying what I said. And when I finished, he stayed silent for a few moments, looking stunned, running his hand over his forehead repeatedly, a gesture that seemed so familiar to him from earlier days.
At length he said quietly, without evincing any sign either of resentment or humiliation,—
At last, he said softly, showing no signs of anger or embarrassment—
“In much that you tell me I recognize myself; in much I am as lost in amazement as you in wild doubt or fierce wrath. Of the effect that you say Philip Derval produced on me I have no recollection. Of himself I have only this,—that he was my foe, that he came to England intent on schemes to shorten my life or destroy its enjoyments. All my faculties tend to self-preservation; there, they converge as rays in a focus; in that focus they illume and—they burn. I willed to destroy my intended destroyer. Did my will enforce itself on the agent to which it was guided? Likely enough. Be it so. Would you blame me for slaying the tiger or serpent—not by the naked hand, but by weapons that arm it? But what could tiger and serpent do more against me than the man who would rob me of life? He had his arts for assault, I had mine for self-defence. He was to me as the tiger that creeps through the jungle, or the serpent uncoiling his folds for the spring. Death to those whose life is destruction to mine, be they serpent or tiger or man! Derval perished. Yes! the spot in which the maniac had buried the casket was revealed to me—no matter how; the contents of the casket passed into my hands. I coveted that possession because I believed that Derval had learned from Haroun of Aleppo the secret by which the elixir of life is prepared, and I supposed that some stores of the essence would be found in his casket. I was deceived—not a drop! What I there found I knew not how to use or apply, nor did I care to learn. What I sought was not there. You see a luminous shadow of myself; it haunts, it accosts, it compels you. Of this I know nothing. Was it the emanation of my intense will really producing this spectre of myself, or was it the thing of your own imagination,—an imagination which my will impressed and subjugated? I know not. At the hours when my shadow, real or supposed, was with you, my senses would have been locked in sleep. It is true, however, that I intensely desire to learn from races always near to man, but concealed from his every-day vision, the secret that I believed Philip Derval had carried with him to the tomb; and from some cause or another I cannot now of myself alone, as I could years ago, subject those races to my command,—I must, in that, act through or with the mind of another. It is true that I sought to impress upon your waking thoughts the images of the circle, the powers of the wand, which, in your trance or sleep-walking, made you the involuntary agent of my will. I knew by a dream—for by dreams, more or less vivid, are the results of my waking will sometimes divulged to myself—that the spell had been broken, the discovery I sought not effected. All my hopes were then transferred from yourself, the dull votary of science, to the girl whom I charmed to my thraldom through her love for you and through her dreams of a realm which the science of schools never enters. In her, imagination was all pure and all potent; and tell me, O practical reasoner, if reason has ever advanced one step into knowledge except through that imaginative faculty which is strongest in the wisdom of ignorance, and weakest in the ignorance of the wise. Ponder this, and those marvels that perplex you will cease to be marvellous. I pass on to the riddle that puzzles you most. By Philip Derval’s account I am, in truth, Louis Grayle restored to youth by the elixir, and while yet infirm, decrepit, murdered Haroun,—a man of a frame as athletic as yours! By accepting this notion you seem to yourself alone to unravel the mysteries you ascribe to my life and my powers. O wise philosopher! O profound logician! you accept that notion, yet hold my belief in the Dervish’s tale a chimera! I am Grayle made young by the elixir, and yet the elixir itself is a fable!”
“In a lot of what you’re telling me, I see myself; in other parts, I’m just as amazed as you are in your wild doubt or fierce anger. I don’t remember the effect you claim Philip Derval had on me. All I know is that he was my enemy, that he came to England with plans to cut my life short or ruin my enjoyment of it. All my instincts drive me to survive; they focus like rays meeting at a point; in that point, they both illuminate and burn. I wanted to eliminate my intended killer. Did my will influence the one to whom it was directed? Probably. So be it. Would you blame me for killing the tiger or serpent—not with my bare hands, but with the weapons that empower it? But what could a tiger and serpent do to me that a man trying to take my life couldn’t? He had his ways to attack; I had mine to defend myself. To me, he was like a tiger stalking through the jungle or a serpent unfurling itself to spring at me. Death to anyone whose existence seeks to destroy mine, whether they’re a serpent or a tiger or a man! Derval died. Yes! I discovered where the madman buried the casket—no matter how; the contents of that casket ended up in my hands. I craved that possession because I believed Derval had learned from Haroun of Aleppo the secret to creating the elixir of life, and I thought some of that essence would be in his casket. I was wrong—not a drop! What I found there, I didn’t know how to use or apply, and I didn’t care to learn. What I was searching for wasn’t there. You see a glowing shadow of myself; it haunts you, approaches you, compels you. I know nothing about it. Was it the product of my intense will actually creating this specter of myself, or was it just a figment of your own imagination—imagination that my will influenced and controlled? I don’t know. At the times when my shadow, whether real or imagined, was with you, my senses would have been locked in sleep. However, it’s true that I deeply want to learn from races that are close to humanity but hidden from everyday view the secret I believed Philip Derval took with him to the grave; and for some reason, I can no longer command those races on my own like I could years ago—I must act through, or alongside, another’s mind. It’s true that I tried to implant images of the circle, the powers of the wand into your waking thoughts, which made you, in your trance or sleepwalking, the unwitting agent of my will. I knew from a dream—because dreams, whether vivid or not, sometimes reveal the results of my waking will—that the spell had been broken and the discovery I sought wasn’t made. All my hopes then shifted from you, the dull follower of science, to the girl whom I enchanted into my control through her love for you and her dreams of a realm that school science never touches. In her, imagination was both pure and powerful; and tell me, O practical reasoner, has reason ever made any progress in knowledge except through that imaginative faculty, which is strongest in the wisdom of ignorance and weakest in the ignorance of the wise? Consider this, and the marvels that perplex you will stop seeming so marvelous. I’ll move on to the riddle that confuses you the most. According to Philip Derval, I am, in fact, Louis Grayle restored to youth by the elixir, and while still weak and frail, I murdered Haroun—a man as fit as you! By accepting this idea, you seem to think you can untangle the mysteries you attribute to my life and powers. O wise philosopher! O deep logician! You accept that idea, yet dismiss my belief in the Dervish’s story as nonsense! I am Grayle made young by the elixir, and yet the elixir itself is a myth!”
He paused and laughed, but the laugh was no longer even an echo of its former merriment or playfulness,—a sinister and terrible laugh, mocking, threatening, malignant.
He paused and laughed, but the laugh was no longer even a shadow of its former joy or playfulness — a dark and chilling laugh, mocking, threatening, and harmful.
Again he swept his hand over his brow, and resumed,—
Again he wiped his brow with his hand and continued,—
“Is it not easier to so accomplished a sage as you to believe that the idlers of Paris have guessed the true solution of that problem, my place on this earth? May I not be the love-son of Louis Grayle? And when Haroun refused the elixir to him, or he found that his frame was too far exhausted for even the elixir to repair organic lesions of structure in the worn frame of old age, may he not have indulged the common illusion of fathers, and soothed his death-pangs with the thought that he should live again in his son? Haroun is found dead on his carpet—rumour said strangled. What proof of the truth of that rumour? Might he not have passed away in a fit? Will it lessen your perplexity if I state recollections? They are vague,—they often perplex myself; but so far from a wish to deceive you, my desire is to relate them so truthfully that you may aid me to reduce them into more definite form.”
“Isn’t it easier for someone as wise as you to believe that the idlers of Paris have figured out the real answer to that question, my role on this planet? Could I possibly be the love child of Louis Grayle? And when Haroun denied him the elixir, or he discovered that his body was too worn out for even the elixir to heal the damage of old age, couldn't he have fallen into the common delusion of fathers and comforted himself in his final moments with the thought that he would live on in his son? Haroun was found dead on his carpet—rumor has it he was strangled. What evidence do we have to support that rumor? Could he not have simply died from a seizure? Will it ease your confusion if I share my memories? They’re vague—they often confuse me as well; but far from wanting to mislead you, my goal is to recount them faithfully so that you can help me clarify them.”
His face now became very troubled, the tone of his voice very irresolute,—the face and the voice of a man who is either blundering his way through an intricate falsehood, or through obscure reminiscences.
His face now looked very troubled, and the tone of his voice was uncertain—the expression and the voice of someone who is either stumbling through a complicated lie or through vague memories.
“This Louis Grayle! this Louis Grayle! I remember him well, as one remembers a nightmare. Whenever I look back, before the illness of which I will presently speak, the image of Louis Grayle returns to me. I see myself with him in African wilds, commanding the fierce Abyssinians. I see myself with him in the fair Persian valley,—lofty, snow-covered mountains encircling the garden of roses. I see myself with him in the hush of the golden noon, reclined by the spray of cool fountains,—now listening to cymbals and lutes, now arguing with graybeards on secrets bequeathed by the Chaldees,—with him, with him in moonlit nights, stealing into the sepulchres of mythical kings. I see myself with him in the aisles of dark caverns, surrounded by awful shapes, which have no likeness amongst the creatures of earth. Louis Grayle! Louis Grayle! all my earlier memories go back to Louis Grayle! All my arts and powers, all that I have learned of the languages spoken in Europe, of the sciences taught in her schools, I owe to Louis Grayle. But am I one and the same with him? No—I am but a pale reflection of his giant intellect. I have not even a reflection of his childlike agonies of sorrow. Louis Grayle! He stands apart from me, as a rock from the tree that grows out from its chasms. Yes, the gossip was right; I must be his son.”
“This Louis Grayle! this Louis Grayle! I remember him well, like you remember a bad dream. Whenever I look back, before the illness I’m about to mention, the image of Louis Grayle comes to mind. I see myself with him in the wilds of Africa, leading the fierce Abyssinians. I see myself with him in the beautiful Persian valley—tall, snow-covered mountains surrounding the rose garden. I see myself with him in the quiet of the golden noon, lounging by the cool fountains—sometimes listening to cymbals and lutes, sometimes debating with elders about secrets passed down from the Chaldeans—with him, with him on moonlit nights, sneaking into the tombs of mythical kings. I see myself with him in the dark aisles of caverns, surrounded by terrifying shapes that resemble nothing on earth. Louis Grayle! Louis Grayle! all my early memories lead back to Louis Grayle! All my skills and knowledge, everything I’ve learned about the languages spoken in Europe, about the sciences taught in its schools, I owe to Louis Grayle. But am I truly the same as him? No—I’m just a faint shadow of his immense intellect. I don’t even have a glimpse of his innocent sorrows. Louis Grayle! He stands apart from me, like a rock from the tree that grows from its crevices. Yes, the rumors were right; I must be his son.”
He leaned his face on both hands, rocking himself to and fro. At length, with a sigh, he resumed,—
He rested his face in his hands, rocking back and forth. Finally, with a sigh, he continued,—
“I remember, too, a long and oppressive illness, attended with racking pains, a dismal journey in a wearisome litter, the light hand of the woman Ayesha, so sad and so stately, smoothing my pillow or fanning my brows. I remember the evening on which my nurse drew the folds of the litter aside, and said, ‘See Aleppo! and the star of thy birth shining over its walls!’
“I also remember a long and painful illness, filled with intense suffering, a miserable journey in a tiring litter, the gentle touch of the woman Ayesha, so sad and so dignified, adjusting my pillow or fanning my forehead. I recall the evening when my nurse pulled back the folds of the litter and said, ‘Look at Aleppo! See the star of your birth shining above its walls!’”
“I remember a face inexpressibly solemn and mournful. I remember the chill that the calm of its ominous eye sent through my veins,—the face of Haroun, the Sage of Aleppo. I remember the vessel of crystal he bore in his hand, and the blessed relief from my pains that a drop from the essence which flashed through the crystal bestowed! And then—and then—I remember no more till the night on which Ayesha came to my couch and said, ‘Rise.’
“I remember a face that was incredibly serious and sad. I remember the chill that the calmness of its ominous gaze sent through my veins—the face of Haroun, the Sage of Aleppo. I remember the crystal vessel he held in his hand and the blessed relief from my pain that a drop from the essence inside the crystal provided! And then—and then—I remember nothing more until the night when Ayesha came to my bed and said, ‘Get up.’”
“And I rose, leaning on her, supported by her. We went through dim narrow streets, faintly lit by wan stars, disturbing the prowl of the dogs, that slunk from the look of that woman. We came to a solitary house, small and low, and my nurse said, ‘Wait.’
“And I got up, leaning on her, supported by her. We walked through dim, narrow streets, barely lit by weak stars, disturbing the prowling dogs that slunk away from the sight of that woman. We arrived at a small, low, solitary house, and my nurse said, ‘Wait.’”
“She opened the door and went in; I seated myself on the threshold. And after a time she came out from the house, and led me, still leaning on her, into her chamber.
“She opened the door and went in; I sat down on the threshold. After a while, she came out of the house and guided me, still leaning on her, into her room.
“A man lay, as in sleep, on the carpet, and beside him stood another man, whom I recognized as Ayesha’s special attendant,—an Indian. ‘Haroun is dead,’ said Ayesha. ‘Search for that which will give thee new life. Thou hast seen, and wilt know it, not I.’
“A man lay, as if asleep, on the carpet, and beside him stood another man, whom I recognized as Ayesha’s special attendant—a local Indian. ‘Haroun is dead,’ Ayesha said. ‘Look for what will bring you new life. You have seen it and will understand, not me.’”
“And I put my hand on the breast of Haroun—for the dead man was he—and drew from it the vessel of crystal.
“And I placed my hand on Haroun’s chest—for he was the dead man—and took out the crystal vessel.”
“Having done so, the frown of his marble brow appalled me. I staggered back, and swooned away.
“After doing that, the frown on his stone-like forehead terrified me. I stumbled back and fainted.”
“I came to my senses, recovering and rejoicing, miles afar from the city, the dawn red on its distant wall. Ayesha had tended me; the elixir had already restored me.
“I came to my senses, feeling better and celebrating, miles away from the city, the dawn glowing on its distant wall. Ayesha had taken care of me; the elixir had already brought me back to health.
“My first thought, when full consciousness came back to me, rested on Louis Grayle, for he also had been at Aleppo; I was but one of his numerous train. He, too, was enfeebled and suffering; he had sought the known skill of Haroun for himself as for me; and this woman loved and had tended him as she had loved and tended me. And my nurse told me that he was dead, and forbade me henceforth to breathe his name.
“My first thought, when I fully came to, was about Louis Grayle, since he had also been in Aleppo; I was just one of his many followers. He was also weak and suffering; he had sought the well-known skill of Haroun for himself just as he had for me; and this woman loved and cared for him as she had loved and cared for me. My nurse told me that he was dead and insisted that I should never mention his name again.”
“We travelled on,—she and I, and the Indian her servant,—my strength still renewed by the wondrous elixir. No longer supported by her, what gazelle ever roved through its pasture with a bound more elastic than mine?
“We traveled on, — she and I, along with the Indian servant — my strength still refreshed by the amazing elixir. No longer supported by her, what gazelle ever roamed through its pasture with a spring more lively than mine?
“We came to a town, and my nurse placed before me a mirror. I did not recognize myself. In this town we rested, obscure, till the letter there reached me by which I learned that I was the offspring of love, and enriched by the care of a father recently dead. Is it not clear that Louis Grayle was this father?”
“We arrived at a town, and my nurse showed me a mirror. I didn’t recognize myself. In this town, we rested, hidden away, until I received a letter that told me I was the child of love, and that I had benefited from the care of a father who had just passed away. Isn't it obvious that Louis Grayle was this father?”
“If so, was the woman Ayesha your mother?”
“If that’s the case, was the woman Ayesha your mom?”
“The letter said that ‘my mother had died in my infancy.’ Nevertheless, the care with which Ayesha had tended me induced a suspicion that made me ask her the very question you put. She wept when I asked her, and said, ‘No, only my nurse. And now I needed a nurse no more.’ The day after I received the letter which announced an inheritance that allowed me to vie with the nobles of Europe, this woman left me, and went back to her tribe.”
“The letter said that ‘my mother had died when I was a baby.’ Still, the way Ayesha had taken care of me made me wonder, so I asked her the very question you just did. She cried when I asked her and said, ‘No, just my nurse. And now I don’t need a nurse anymore.’ The day after I received the letter that told me about an inheritance that would let me compete with the nobles of Europe, this woman left me and went back to her tribe.”
“Have you never seen her since?”
“Have you not seen her since?”
Margrave hesitated a moment, and then answered, though with seeming reluctance, “Yes, at Damascus. Not many days after I was borne to that city by the strangers who found me half-dead on their road, I woke one morning to find her by my side. And she said, ‘In joy and in health you did not need me. I am needed now.”’
Margrave paused for a moment, then replied, though with a hint of hesitation, “Yes, in Damascus. Not long after I was brought to that city by the strangers who found me half-dead on their journey, I woke up one morning to find her by my side. And she said, ‘When you were happy and healthy, you didn’t need me. But now, I’m needed.’”
“Did you then deprive yourself of one so devoted? You have not made this long voyage—from Egypt to Australia—alone,—you, to whom wealth gave no excuse for privation?”
“Did you really give up someone so devoted? You didn’t make this long journey—from Egypt to Australia—by yourself, did you? You, who had wealth and no reason to suffer?”
“The woman came with me; and some chosen attendants. I engaged to ourselves the vessel we sailed in.”
“The woman came with me, along with some selected attendants. I secured the ship we sailed in for ourselves.”
“Where have you left your companions?”
“Where did you leave your friends?”
“By this hour,” answered Margrave, “they are in reach of my summons; and when you and I have achieved the discovery—in the results of which we shall share—I will exact no more from your aid. I trust all that rests for my cure to my nurse and her swarthy attendants. You will aid me now, as a matter of course; the physician whose counsel you needed to guide your own skill enjoins you to obey my whim—if whim you still call it; you will obey it, for on that whim rests your own sole hope of happiness,—you, who can love—I love nothing but life. Has my frank narrative solved all the doubts that stood between you and me, in the great meeting-grounds of an interest in common?”
“By now,” Margrave said, “they’re close enough to hear my call; and once you and I have made our discovery—where we’ll both benefit—I won’t ask for anything more from you. I’m leaving what I need for my recovery to my nurse and her dark-skinned helpers. You’ll help me now, as a matter of course; the doctor whose advice you relied on to shape your own skills insists you follow my wishes—if you still see it as a whim; you will go along with it, because your only hope for happiness relies on that whim—you, who can love—I care for nothing but life. Has my open account cleared up all the uncertainties that stood between us in the shared interests we have?”
“Solved all the doubts! Your wild story but makes some the darker, leaving others untouched: the occult powers of which you boast, and some of which I have witnessed,—your very insight into my own household sorrows, into the interests I have, with yourself, in the truth of a faith so repugnant to reason—”
“Solved all the doubts! Your crazy story has some dark parts while leaving others alone: the supernatural abilities you brag about, some of which I have seen—your deep understanding of my personal struggles, and the shared interest we have in the truth of a belief that seems so irrational—”
“Pardon me,” interrupted Margrave, with that slight curve of the lip which is half smile and half sneer, “if, in my account of myself, I omitted what I cannot explain, and you cannot conceive: let me first ask how many of the commonest actions of the commonest men are purely involuntary and wholly inexplicable. When, for instance, you open your lips and utter a sentence, you have not the faintest idea beforehand what word will follow another. When you move a muscle can you tell me the thought that prompts to the movement? And, wholly unable thus to account for your own simple sympathies between impulse and act, do you believe that there exists a man upon earth who can read all the riddles in the heart and brain of another? Is it not true that not one drop of water, one atom of matter, ever really touches another? Between each and each there is always a space, however infinitesimally small. How, then, could the world go on, if every man asked another to make his whole history and being as lucid as daylight before he would buy and sell with him? All interchange and alliance rest but on this,—an interest in common. You and I have established that interest: all else, all you ask more, is superfluous. Could I answer each doubt you would raise, still, whether the answer should please or revolt you, your reason would come back to the same starting-point,—namely, In one definite proposal have we two an interest in common?”
“Excuse me,” interrupted Margrave, with that slight smirk that’s half smile and half sneer, “if I left out things about myself that I can’t explain and you can’t understand: let me first ask how many of the simplest actions of the most ordinary people are completely involuntary and totally baffling. For example, when you open your mouth and say a sentence, you don’t have the slightest clue beforehand what word will come next. When you move a muscle, can you tell me what thought triggered that movement? And, completely unable to explain your own straightforward reactions between impulse and action, do you really think there’s anyone on earth who can figure out all the mysteries in someone else’s heart and mind? Isn’t it true that not a single drop of water, not a speck of matter, ever truly touches another? There’s always a gap between everything, no matter how tiny it is. So, how could the world function if every person required another to lay out their entire life story and existence as clearly as day before engaging in any transaction? All exchanges and connections rely solely on one thing: a shared interest. You and I have established that interest; everything else, everything you’re asking for, is unnecessary. Even if I could address every doubt you have, whether my answers please or annoy you, your reasoning would always circle back to one question—do we both have a shared interest in this specific proposal?”
And again Margrave laughed, not in mirth, but in mockery. The laugh and the words that preceded it were not the laugh and the words of the young. Could it be possible that Louis Grayle had indeed revived to false youth in the person of Margrave, such might have been his laugh and such his words. The whole mind of Margrave seemed to have undergone change since I last saw him; more rich in idea, more crafty even in candour, more powerful, more concentred. As we see in our ordinary experience, that some infirmity, threatening dissolution, brings forth more vividly the reminiscences of early years, when impressions were vigorously stamped, so I might have thought that as Margrave neared the tomb, the memories he had retained from his former existence, in a being more amply endowed, more formidably potent, struggled back to the brain; and the mind that had lived in Louis Grayle moved the lips of the dying Margrave.
And once again, Margrave laughed, not out of joy, but in mockery. His laugh and the words that came before it didn’t sound like those of a young person. Could it be that Louis Grayle had actually come back to false youth through Margrave? That laugh and those words could have been his. Margrave seemed to have completely changed since I last saw him; he was richer in ideas, craftier even in his honesty, more powerful, and more focused. Just as we often see that a serious illness brings back vivid memories of our younger years, when impressions were strongly made, I might have thought that as Margrave approached death, the memories from his previous life, in a being who was more fully endowed and more formidable, struggled to resurface in his mind; and the mind that once belonged to Louis Grayle was now driving the lips of the dying Margrave.
“For the powers and the arts that it equally puzzles your reason to assign or deny to me,” resumed my terrible guest, “I will say briefly but this: they come from faculties stored within myself, and doubtless conduce to my self-preservation,—faculties more or less, perhaps (so Van Helmont asserts), given to all men, though dormant in most; vivid and active in me because in me self-preservation has been and yet is the strong master-passion, or instinct; and because I have been taught how to use and direct such faculties by disciplined teachers,—some by Louis Grayle, the enchanter; some by my nurse, the singer of charmed songs. But in much that I will to have done, I know no more than yourself how the agency acts. Enough for me to will what I wish, and sink calmly into slumber, sure that the will would work somehow its way. But when I have willed to know what, when known, should shape my own courses, I could see, without aid from your pitiful telescopes, all objects howsoever far. What wonder in that? Have you no learned puzzle-brained metaphysicians who tell you that space is but an idea, all this palpable universe an idea in the mind, and no more? Why am I an enigma as dark as the Sibyls, and your metaphysicians as plain as a hornbook?” Again the sardonic laugh. “Enough: let what I have said obscure or enlighten your guesses, we come back to the same link of union, which binds man to man, bids States arise from the desert, and foeman embrace as brothers. I need you and you need me; without your aid my life is doomed; without my secret the breath will have gone from the lips of your Lilian before the sun of to-morrow is red on the hill-tops.”
“For the powers and abilities that it perplexes you to assign or deny to me,” my imposing guest continued, “I’ll keep it short: they come from abilities within myself that surely contribute to my survival—abilities that all men might have, though they’re dormant in most; they’re vivid and active in me because self-preservation has always been my strongest driving force, my instinct; and because I’ve been trained to use and direct these abilities by skilled teachers—some by Louis Grayle, the enchanter; some by my nurse, the singer of enchanted songs. But in many things I desire to accomplish, I understand no more than you how the process works. It's enough for me to want what I wish and drift off to sleep, confident that my will will somehow manifest it. But when I’ve wanted to know what, once known, should guide my actions, I could see, without the help of your feeble telescopes, all objects no matter how distant. What’s so surprising about that? Don’t you have scholarly, puzzle-loving metaphysicians who tell you that space is just a concept, and this entire tangible universe is merely an idea in the mind, nothing more? Why am I a mystery as opaque as the Sibyls, while your metaphysicians are as straightforward as a basic textbook?” Again, he laughed sarcastically. “That’s enough: whether what I’ve said obscures or clarifies your speculations, we come back to the same connection that binds people together, that causes nations to rise from barren lands, and enemies to embrace as brothers. I need you, and you need me; without your help, my life is doomed; without my secret, your Lilian will breathe her last before the sun of tomorrow rises on the hilltops.”
“Fiend or juggler,” I cried in rage, “you shall not so enslave and enthrall me by this mystic farrago and jargon. Make your fantastic experiment on yourself if you will: trust to your arts and your powers. My Lilian’s life shall not hang on your fiat. I trust it—to—”
“Fiend or juggler,” I shouted in anger, “you will not enslave or captivate me with this mystical nonsense and jargon. Go ahead and perform your crazy experiment on yourself if you want: rely on your tricks and your abilities. My Lilian’s life will not depend on your decree. I trust it—to—”
“To what—to man’s skill? Hear what the sage of the college shall tell you, before I ask you again for your aid. Do you trust to God’s saving mercy? Ah, of course you believe in a God? Who, except a philosopher, can reason a Maker away? But that the Maker will alter His courses to hear you; that, whether or not you trust in Him, or in your doctor, it will change by a hairbreadth the thing that must be—do you believe this, Allen Fenwick?”
“To what—man’s skill? Listen to what the wise person from the college will tell you, before I ask for your help again. Do you trust in God’s saving mercy? Ah, of course you believe in God? Who, except a philosopher, can argue away a Creator? But that the Creator will change His ways to listen to you; that, whether or not you have faith in Him, or in your doctor, it will make the slightest difference to what must happen—do you believe this, Allen Fenwick?”
And there sat this reader of hearts! a boy in his aspect, mocking me and the graybeards of schools.
And there sat this heart-reader! a boy in his look, teasing me and the old men of the schools.
I could listen no more; I turned to the door and fled down the stairs, and heard, as I fled, a low chant: feeble and faint, it was still the old barbaric chant, by which the serpent is drawn from its hole by the charmer.
I couldn't listen anymore; I turned to the door and ran down the stairs, and as I escaped, I heard a soft chant: weak and faint, but still the old primitive chant that draws the serpent out of its hole by the charmer.
CHAPTER LXXVII.
To those of my readers who may seek with Julius Faber to explore, through intelligible causes, solutions of the marvels I narrate, Margrave’s confession may serve to explain away much that my own superstitious beliefs had obscured. To them Margrave is evidently the son of Louis Grayle. The elixir of life is reduced to some simple restorative, owing much of its effect to the faith of a credulous patient: youth is so soon restored to its joy in the sun, with or without an elixir. To them Margrave’s arts of enchantment are reduced to those idiosyncrasies of temperament on which the disciples of Mesmer build up their theories,—exaggerated, in much, by my own superstitions; aided, in part, by such natural, purely physical magic as, explored by the ancient priest-crafts, is despised by the modern philosophies, and only remains occult because Science delights no more in the slides of the lantern which fascinated her childhood with simulated phantoms. To them Margrave is, perhaps, an enthusiast, but, because an enthusiast, not less an impostor. “L’Homme se pique,” says Charron. Man cogs the dice for himself ere he rattles the box for his dupes. Was there ever successful impostor who did not commence by a fraud on his own understanding? Cradled in Orient Fableland, what though Margrave believes in its legends; in a wand, an elixir; in sorcerers or Afrites? That belief in itself makes him keen to detect, and skilful to profit by, the latent but kindred credulities of others. In all illustrations of Duper and Duped through the records of superstition—from the guile of a Cromwell, a Mahomet, down to the cheats of a gypsy—professional visionaries are amongst the astutest observers. The knowledge that Margrave had gained of my abode, of my affliction, or of the innermost thoughts in my mind, it surely demanded no preternatural aids to acquire. An Old Bailey attorney could have got at the one, and any quick student of human hearts have readily mastered the other. In fine, Margrave, thus rationally criticised, is no other prodigy (save in degree and concurrence of attributes simple, though not very common) than may be found in each alley that harbours a fortune-teller who has just faith enough in the stars or the cards to bubble himself while he swindles his victims; earnest, indeed, in the self-conviction that he is really a seer, but reading the looks of his listeners, divining the thoughts that induce them to listen, and acquiring by practice a startling ability to judge what the listeners will deem it most seer-like to read in the cards or divine from the stars.
To my readers who might want to investigate, alongside Julius Faber, the understandable reasons behind the wonders I describe, Margrave’s confession might help clarify much of what my own superstitious beliefs had clouded. For them, Margrave is clearly the son of Louis Grayle. The elixir of life turns out to be just a simple restorative, largely effective due to the belief of a gullible patient: youth can quickly regain its joy in the sun, with or without an elixir. To them, Margrave’s enchanting abilities are simply those quirks of personality that the followers of Mesmer base their theories on—mostly exaggerated by my own superstitions but partly supported by natural, purely physical magic that, after being explored by ancient priestly traditions, is scorned by modern philosophies and now only remains mysterious because Science has lost interest in the lantern slides that once captivated her childhood with made-up phantoms. For them, Margrave might be seen as an enthusiast, but because he is an enthusiast, he is no less a fraud. “L’Homme se pique,” says Charron. Man cheats at dice for himself before he rolls the box for his victims. Has there ever been a successful fraudster who didn’t begin with a deception of his own understanding? Raised in the land of Eastern fables, what if Margrave believes in its legends; in a wand, an elixir; in sorcerers or Afrites? That belief alone makes him eager to uncover and adept at taking advantage of the hidden but similar gullibilities of others. In all examples of the deceiver and the deceived throughout the annals of superstition—from the cunning of a Cromwell, a Mahomet, down to the tricks of a gypsy—professional visionaries are among the sharpest observers. The knowledge Margrave had about my home, my affliction, or my innermost thoughts certainly didn’t require supernatural help to acquire. A lawyer from Old Bailey could have learned one, and any quick learner of human nature could have easily grasped the other. In short, Margrave, when analyzed rationally, is no more of a prodigy (except in degree and combination of traits that are simple, although not very common) than you would find in any alley with a fortune-teller who just has enough faith in the stars or the cards to convince himself while he tricks his victims; genuinely believing he is truly a seer, while reading the expressions of his audience, sensing the thoughts that lead them to listen, and developing through practice a remarkable ability to understand what his listeners will think is the most seer-like interpretation of the cards or the stars.
I leave this interpretation unassailed. It is that which is the most probable; it is clearly that which, in a case not my own, I should have accepted; and yet I revolved and dismissed it. The moment we deal with things beyond our comprehension, and in which our own senses are appealed to and baffled, we revolt from the Probable, as it seems to the senses of those who have not experienced what we have. And the same principle of Wonder that led our philosophy up from inert ignorance into restless knowledge, now winding back into shadow land, reverses its rule by the way, and, at last, leaves us lost in the maze, our knowledge inert, and our ignorance restless.
I stand by this interpretation. It's the most likely one; it's clearly what I would have accepted if it weren't my own case, yet I considered and rejected it. The moment we encounter things that are beyond our understanding, where our own senses are challenged and confused, we turn away from what seems probable based on the experiences of those who haven’t gone through what we have. The same sense of Wonder that took our understanding from complete ignorance to constant curiosity now twists back into darkness, reversing its effect along the way, and ultimately leaves us lost in confusion, our knowledge stagnant, and our ignorance restless.
And putting aside all other reasons for hesitating to believe that Margrave was the son of Louis Grayle,—reasons which his own narrative might suggest,—was it not strange that Sir Philip Derval, who had instituted inquiries so minute, and reported them in his memoir with so faithful a care, should not have discovered that a youth, attended by the same woman who had attended Grayle, had disappeared from the town on the same night as Grayle himself disappeared? But Derval had related truthfully, according to Margrave’s account, the flight of Ayesha and her Indian servant, yet not alluded to the flight, not even to the existence of the boy, who must have been of no mean importance in the suite of Louis Grayle, if he were, indeed, the son whom Grayle had made his constant companion, and constituted his principal heir. Not many minutes did I give myself up to the cloud of reflections through which no sunbeam of light forced its way. One thought overmastered all; Margrave had threatened death to my Lilian, and warned me of what I should learn from the lips of Faber, “the sage of the college.” I stood, shuddering, at the door of my home; I did not dare to enter.
And putting aside all other reasons for doubting that Margrave was the son of Louis Grayle—reasons suggested by his own story—wasn’t it strange that Sir Philip Derval, who had conducted such detailed inquiries and reported them in his memoir with such careful attention, didn’t discover that a young man, accompanied by the same woman who had been with Grayle, had vanished from the town on the same night as Grayle himself disappeared? Yet Derval recounted, according to Margrave’s account, the escape of Ayesha and her Indian servant, but didn’t mention the escape or even acknowledge the existence of the boy, who must have been significant in Louis Grayle’s entourage, especially if he was the son Grayle constantly took with him and made his primary heir. I didn’t spend many minutes lost in the dense fog of thoughts through which no glimmer of light could penetrate. One idea overwhelmed all others; Margrave had threatened my Lilian with death and had warned me about what I would learn from Faber, “the sage of the college.” I stood, trembling, at the door of my home; I didn’t dare to go inside.
“Allen,” said a voice, in which my ear detected the unwonted tremulous faltering, “be firm,—be calm. I keep my promise. The hour is come in which you may again see the Lilian of old, mind to mind, soul to soul.”
“Allen,” said a voice, in which I could sense an unusual trembling, “stay strong—stay calm. I’m keeping my promise. The time has come for you to see the Lilian you once knew, mind to mind, soul to soul.”
Faber’s hand took mine, and led me into the house.
Faber took my hand and led me into the house.
“You do, then, fear that this interview will be too much for her strength?” said I, whisperingly.
“You're worried that this interview will be too much for her strength?” I said, in a whisper.
“I cannot say; but she demands the interview, and I dare not refuse it.”
“I can’t say; but she insists on the meeting, and I can’t turn it down.”
CHAPTER LXXVIII.
I left Faber on the stairs, and paused at the door of Lilian’s room. The door opened suddenly, noiselessly, and her mother came out with one hand before her face, and the other locked in Amy’s, who was leading her as a child leads the blind. Mrs. Ashleigh looked up, as I touched her, with a vacant, dreary stare. She was not weeping, as was her womanly wont in every pettier grief, but Amy was. No word was exchanged between us. I entered, and closed the door; my eyes turned mechanically to the corner in which was placed the small virgin bed, with its curtains white as a shroud. Lilian was not there. I looked around, and saw her half reclined on a couch near the window. She was dressed, and with care. Was not that her bridal robe?
I left Faber on the stairs and paused at the door of Lilian’s room. The door opened suddenly and silently, and her mother came out with one hand raised to her face and the other holding onto Amy, who was guiding her like a child leads someone who can't see. Mrs. Ashleigh looked up at me as I touched her, her expression vacant and forlorn. She wasn’t crying, which was unusual for her during even the smallest sorrows, but Amy was. We didn’t exchange any words. I walked in and closed the door; my gaze automatically fell on the corner where the small virgin bed stood, its curtains white as a shroud. Lilian wasn’t there. I looked around and saw her half-reclined on a couch near the window. She was dressed with care. Was that her bridal gown?
“Allen! Allen!” she murmured. “Again, again my Allen—again, again your Lilian!” And, striving in vain to rise, she stretched out her arms in the yearning of reunited love. And as I knelt beside her, those arms closed round me for the first time in the frank, chaste, holy tenderness of a wife’s embrace.
“Allen! Allen!” she whispered. “Once more, my Allen—once more, your Lilian!” And, struggling unsuccessfully to get up, she reached out her arms in the longing of love reunited. As I knelt beside her, those arms wrapped around me for the first time in the sincere, pure, sacred tenderness of a wife’s embrace.
“Ah!” she said, in her low voice (her voice, like Cordelia’s, was ever low), “all has come back to me,—all that I owe to your protecting, noble, trustful, guardian love!”
“Ah!” she said in her quiet voice (her voice, like Cordelia’s, was always soft), “everything has come back to me—everything I owe to your protective, noble, trusting, guardian love!”
“Hush! hush! the gratitude rests with me; it is so sweet to love, to trust, to guard! my own, my beautiful—still my beautiful! Suffering has not dimmed the light of those dear eyes to me! Put your lips to my ear. Whisper but these words: ‘I love you, and for your sake I wish to live.’”
“Hush! Hush! The gratitude is mine; it feels so good to love, to trust, to protect! My own, my beautiful—still my beautiful! Suffering hasn’t taken away the shine from those dear eyes of yours! Put your lips to my ear. Just whisper these words: ‘I love you, and for your sake, I want to live.’”
“For your sake, I pray—with my whole weak human heart—I pray to live! Listen. Some day hereafter, if I am spared, under the purple blossoms of yonder waving trees I shall tell you all, as I see it now; all that darkened or shone on me in my long dream, and before the dream closed around me, like a night in which cloud and star chase each other! Some day hereafter, some quiet, sunlit, happy, happy day! But now, all I would say is this: Before that dreadful morning—” Here she paused, shuddered, and passionately burst forth, “Allen, Allen! you did not believe that slanderous letter! God bless you! God bless you! Great-hearted, high-souled—God bless you, my darling! my husband! And He will! Pray to Him humbly as I do, and He will bless you.” She stooped and kissed away my tears; then she resumed, feebly, meekly, sorrowfully,—
“For your sake, I pray—with all my fragile human heart—I pray to live! Listen. Someday in the future, if I'm still around, under the purple blossoms of those waving trees, I will tell you everything, just as I see it now; everything that either darkened or illuminated my long dream, before the dream closed in on me like a night where clouds and stars chase each other! Someday in the future, on a quiet, sunny, happy, happy day! But for now, all I want to say is this: Before that awful morning—” Here she paused, shuddered, and passionately exclaimed, “Allen, Allen! You didn’t believe that slanderous letter! God bless you! God bless you! Kind-hearted, noble-spirited—God bless you, my darling! My husband! And He will! Pray to Him humbly like I do, and He will bless you.” She leaned down and kissed my tears away; then she continued, weakly, gently, sorrowfully,—
“Before that morning I was not worthy of such a heart, such a love as yours. No, no; hear me. Not that a thought of love for another ever crossed me! Never, while conscious and reasoning, was I untrue to you, even in fancy. But I was a child,—wayward as the child who pines for what earth cannot give, and covets the moon for a toy. Heaven had been so kind to my lot on earth, and yet with my lot on earth I was secretly discontented. When I felt that you loved me, and my heart told me that I loved again, I said to myself, ‘Now the void that my soul finds on earth will be filled.’ I longed for your coming, and yet when you went I murmured, ‘But is this the ideal of which I have dreamed?’ I asked for an impossible sympathy. Sympathy with what? Nay, smile on me, dearest!—sympathy with what? I could not have said. Ah, Allen, then, then, I was not worthy of you! Infant that I was, I asked you to understand me: now I know that I am a woman, and my task is to study you. Do I make myself clear? Do you forgive me? I was not untrue to you; I was untrue to my own duties in life. I believed, in my vain conceit, that a mortal’s dim vision of heaven raised me above the earth; I did not perceive the truth that earth is a part of the same universe as heaven! Now, perhaps, in the awful affliction that darkened my reason, my soul has been made more clear. As if to chastise but to teach me, my soul has been permitted to indulge its own presumptuous desire; it has wandered forth from the trammels of mortal duties and destinies; it comes back, alarmed by the dangers of its own rash and presumptuous escape from the tasks which it should desire upon earth to perform. Allen, Allen, I am less unworthy of you now! Perhaps in my darkness one rapid glimpse of the true world of spirit has been vouchsafed to me. If so, how unlike to the visions my childhood indulged as divine! Now, while I know still more deeply that there is a world for the angels, I know, also, that the mortal must pass through probation in the world of mortals. Oh, may I pass through it with you, grieving in your griefs, rejoicing in your joy!”
“Before that morning, I didn't deserve a heart or a love like yours. No, no; please listen. It's not that I ever thought about loving someone else! Never, while I was aware and reasoning, was I unfaithful to you, even in my imagination. But I was like a child—fickle like one who longs for something unattainable and wishes for the moon as a toy. Life had been so generous to me, yet I was secretly discontented. When I realized you loved me, and my heart confirmed that I loved you back, I thought, ‘Now the emptiness my soul feels on earth will be filled.’ I eagerly awaited your arrival, yet when you left, I wondered, ‘Is this really the ideal I’ve dreamt of?’ I wanted an impossible kind of understanding. Understanding of what? No, please smile at me, my dear!—understanding of what? I couldn't define it. Ah, Allen, back then, I was not worthy of you! As naive as I was, I expected you to understand me; now, I recognize that I’m a woman, and my role is to understand you. Am I making sense? Do you forgive me? I wasn’t unfaithful to you; I was unfaithful to my own responsibilities in life. I mistakenly thought that a mortal’s faint glimpse of heaven elevated me above earth; I didn’t realize that earth is part of the same universe as heaven! Now, perhaps in the awful suffering that clouded my reason, my soul has gained clarity. Perhaps, to teach me, my soul was allowed to pursue its own reckless desires; it strayed from the constraints of earthly duties and destinies; now it returns, frightened by the dangers of its own foolish escape from the responsibilities it should embrace on earth. Allen, Allen, I am less unworthy of you now! Maybe in my darkness, I caught a brief glimpse of the true spiritual world. If so, it's so different from the divine visions my childhood entertained! Now, while I understand even more deeply that there’s a realm for angels, I also acknowledge that a mortal must go through trials in the mortal world. Oh, may I go through it with you, sharing in your sorrows and celebrating in your joy!”
Here language failed her. Again the dear arms embraced me, and the dear face, eloquent with love, hid itself on my human breast.
Here language let her down. Again the dear arms held me close, and the beloved face, full of love, buried itself in my chest.
CHAPTER LXXIX.
That interview is over! Again I am banished from Lilian’s room; the agitation, the joy of that meeting has overstrained her enfeebled nerves. Convulsive tremblings of the whole frame, accompanied with vehement sobs, succeeded our brief interchange of sweet and bitter thoughts. Faber, in tearing me from her side, imperiously and sternly warned me that the sole chance yet left of preserving her life was in the merciful suspense of the emotions that my presence excited. He and Amy resumed their place in her chamber. Even her mother shared my sentence of banishment. So Mrs. Ashleigh and I sat facing each other in the room below; over me a leaden stupor had fallen, and I heard, as a voice from afar or in a dream, the mother’s murmured wailings,
That interview is over! Once again, I’ve been sent away from Lilian’s room; the stress and joy of our meeting have overwhelmed her fragile nerves. After our brief exchange of sweet and bitter thoughts, she trembled all over and broke into intense sobs. Faber, in pulling me away from her, sternly and authoritatively warned me that the only chance left to save her life was in the merciful pause of the emotions my presence stirred. He and Amy went back into her room. Even her mother faced the same banishment as me. So, Mrs. Ashleigh and I sat across from each other in the room below; a heavy numbness settled over me, and I heard her soft cries as if they were coming from far away or in a dream.
“She will die! she will die! Her eyes have the same heavenly look as my Gilbert’s on the day on which his closed forever. Her very words are his last words,—‘Forgive me all my faults to you.’ She will die! she will die!”
“She’s going to die! She’s going to die! Her eyes have the same heavenly look as my Gilbert’s did on the day they closed forever. Her very words are his last words—‘Forgive me for all my faults.’ She’s going to die! She’s going to die!”
Hours thus passed away. At length Faber entered the room; he spoke first to Mrs. Ashleigh,—meaningless soothings, familiar to the lips of all who pass from the chamber of the dying to the presence of mourners, and know that it is a falsehood to say “hope,” and a mockery as yet, to say, “endure.”
Hours went by. Finally, Faber entered the room; he first spoke to Mrs. Ashleigh—offering empty platitudes, words familiar to everyone who moves from the room of the dying to the company of mourners, knowing that it’s a lie to say “hope,” and a cruel joke to say, “endure.”
But he led her away to her own room, docile as a wearied child led to sleep, stayed with her some time, and then returned to me, pressing me to his breast father-like.
But he took her to her own room, gentle like a tired child being put to bed, stayed with her for a while, and then came back to me, holding me close like a father.
“No hope! no hope!” said I, recoiling from his embrace. “You are silent. Speak! speak! Let me know the worst.”
“No hope! no hope!” I said, pulling away from his embrace. “You’re quiet. Talk! Talk! Let me hear the worst.”
“I have a hope, yet I scarcely dare to bid you share it; for it grows rather out of my heart as man than my experience as physician. I cannot think that her soul would be now so reconciled to earth, so fondly, so earnestly, cling to this mortal life, if it were about to be summoned away. You know how commonly even the sufferers who have dreaded death the most become calmly resigned to its coming, when death visibly reveals itself out from the shadows in which its shape has been guessed and not seen. As it is a bad sign for life when the patient has lost all will to live on, so there is hope while the patient, yet young and with no perceptible breach in the great centres of life (however violently their forts may be stormed), has still intense faith in recovery, perhaps drawn (who can say?) from the whispers conveyed from above to the soul.
“I have hope, but I hardly dare to ask you to share it; because it comes more from my heart as a person than from my experience as a doctor. I can’t believe that her soul would be so attached to this world, so devotedly and desperately holding onto this life, if it were truly about to be taken away. You know how often even those who have feared death the most become calmly accepting when death finally reveals itself, stepping out from the shadows that have hidden its presence. Just as it’s a bad sign for life when a patient has lost all desire to live, there’s still hope while the patient, who is still young and without any noticeable damage to the vital areas of life (no matter how fiercely their defenses may be attacked), maintains a strong belief in recovery, possibly inspired (who can say?) by messages sent from above to the soul.”
“I cannot bring myself to think that all the uses for which a reason, always so lovely even in its errors, has been restored, are yet fulfilled. It seems to me as if your union, as yet so imperfect, has still for its end that holy life on earth by which two mortal beings strengthen each other for a sphere of existence to which this is the spiritual ladder. Through yourself I have hope yet for her. Gifted with powers that rank you high in the manifold orders of man,—thoughtful, laborious, and brave; with a heart that makes intellect vibrate to every fine touch of humanity; in error itself, conscientious; in delusion, still eager for truth; in anger, forgiving; in wrong, seeking how to repair; and, best of all, strong in a love which the mean would have shrunk to defend from the fangs of the slanderer,—a love, raising passion itself out of the realm of the senses, made sublime by the sorrows that tried its devotion,—with all these noble proofs in yourself of a being not meant to end here, your life has stopped short in its uses, your mind itself has been drifted, a bark without rudder or pilot, over seas without shore, under skies without stars. And wherefore? Because the mind you so haughtily vaunted has refused its companion and teacher in Soul.
“I can't convince myself that all the purposes for which reason, always beautiful even in its mistakes, has been restored, are fully achieved. It feels to me like your union, still so imperfect, is meant for that sacred life on earth where two mortal beings support each other for a realm of existence that this is the spiritual ladder to. Through you, I still have hope for her. Gifted with abilities that place you high among the diverse ranks of humanity—thoughtful, hardworking, and brave; with a heart that makes the intellect resonate with every fine touch of humanity; conscientious even in error; eager for truth even in delusion; forgiving in anger; seeking to repair wrongs; and, best of all, strong in a love that the petty would shrink from defending against the slanderer—a love that elevates passion beyond mere physicality, made sublime by the sorrows that tested its devotion—with all these noble traits in you as proof of a being not meant to end here, your life has prematurely halted in its purposes, your mind has been adrift, like a ship without a rudder or captain, over seas without shores, under skies without stars. And why? Because the mind you so proudly claimed has denied its companion and teacher in Soul.
“And therefore, through you, I hope that she will be spared yet to live on; she, in whom soul has been led dimly astray, by unheeding the checks and the definite goals which the mind is ordained to prescribe to its wanderings while here; the mind taking thoughts from the actual and visible world, and the soul but vague glimpses and hints from the instinct of its ultimate heritage. Each of you two seems to me as yet incomplete, and your destinies yet uncompleted. Through the bonds of the heart, through the trials of time, ye have both to consummate your marriage. I do not—believe me—I do not say this in the fanciful wisdom of allegory and type, save that, wherever deeply examined, allegory and type run through all the most commonplace phases of outward and material life. I hope, then, that she may yet be spared to you; hope it, not from my skill as physician, but my inward belief as a Christian. To perfect your own being and end, ‘Ye will need one another!’”
“And so, through you, I hope she will be given a chance to live on; she, whose soul has been led astray, by ignoring the guidance and clear goals that the mind is supposed to set for its journey here; the mind drawing thoughts from the real and visible world, while the soul catches only vague glimpses and hints from its true heritage. Each of you seems incomplete to me, and your destinies are still unfolding. Through the bonds of love, and the challenges of time, you both need to complete your marriage. I’m not—believe me—I’m not saying this out of fanciful wisdom or symbolism, except that, when looked at closely, allegory and type run through all the most ordinary aspects of life. I hope, then, that she may still be a part of your life; I hope this, not from my skills as a doctor, but from my deep belief as a Christian. To fully achieve your own being and purpose, ‘You will need each other!’”
I started—the very words that Lilian had heard in her vision!
I started—the exact words that Lilian had heard in her vision!
“But,” resumed Faber, “how can I presume to trace the numberless links of effect up to the First Cause, far off—oh; far off—out of the scope of my reason. I leave that to philosophers, who would laugh my meek hope to scorn. Possibly, probably, where I, whose calling has been but to save flesh from the worm, deem that the life of your Lilian is needed yet, to develop and train your own convictions of soul, Heaven in its wisdom may see that her death would instruct you far more than her life. I have said, Be prepared for either,—wisdom through joy, or wisdom through grief. Enough that, looking only through the mechanism by which this moral world is impelled and improved, you know that cruelty is impossible to wisdom. Even a man, or man’s law, is never wise but when merciful. But mercy has general conditions; and that which is mercy to the myriads may seem hard to the one, and that which seems hard to the one in the pang of a moment may be mercy when viewed by the eye that looks on through eternity.”
“But,” Faber continued, “how can I dare to trace the countless connections of cause and effect back to the First Cause, so distant—oh, so distant—beyond the limits of my understanding? I’ll leave that to philosophers, who would likely mock my humble hope. Perhaps, where I, whose job has been merely to save flesh from decay, believe that the life of your Lilian is still needed to shape and strengthen your own beliefs about the soul, Heaven in its wisdom might see that her death could teach you far more than her life ever could. I’ve said, be ready for either—wisdom through joy or wisdom through sorrow. It’s enough that, when looking only through the system that drives and improves this moral world, you understand that cruelty has no place in wisdom. A person, or human law, is never wise unless they show mercy. But mercy has universal conditions; what seems like mercy to the many might feel harsh to the individual, and what feels harsh to one in a moment of pain may turn out to be mercy when seen from a perspective that spans eternity.”
And from all this discourse—of which I now, at calm distance of time, recall every word—my human, loving heart bore away for the moment but this sentence, “Ye will need one another;” so that I cried out, “Life, life, life! Is there no hope for her life? Have you no hope as physician? I am a physician, too; I will see her. I will judge. I will not be banished from my post.”
And from all this conversation—which I now remember clearly with some time passed—my caring heart took away just this one sentence: “You will need each other.” So I shouted, “Life, life, life! Is there no hope for her life? Don’t you have any hope as a doctor? I’m a doctor too; I will see her. I will make the decision. I won’t be forced away from my place.”
“Judge, then, as physician, and let the responsibility rest with you. At this moment, all convulsion, all struggle, has ceased; the frame is at rest. Look on her, and perhaps only the physician’s eye could distinguish her state from death. It is not sleep, it is not trance, it is not the dooming coma from which there is no awaking. Shall I call it by the name received in our schools? Is it the catalepsy in which life is suspended, but consciousness acute? She is motionless, rigid; it is but with a strain of my own sense that I know that the breath still breathes, and the heart still beats. But I am convinced that though she can neither speak, nor stir, nor give sign, she is fully, sensitively conscious of all that passes around her. She is like those who have seen the very coffin carried into their chamber, and been unable to cry out, ‘Do not bury me alive!’ Judge then for yourself, with this intense consciousness and this impotence to evince it, what might be the effect of your presence,—first an agony of despair, and then the complete extinction of life!”
“Judge, then, as a doctor, and let the responsibility be yours. Right now, all convulsion, all struggle, has stopped; the body is at rest. Look at her, and maybe only a doctor could tell her state apart from death. It’s not sleep, it’s not a trance, it’s not the fatal coma from which there’s no awakening. Should I call it by the name we learned in school? Is it catalepsy, where life is paused but consciousness is sharp? She is still, rigid; only by straining my own senses do I realize that she still breathes and her heart still beats. But I believe that even though she can’t speak, move, or show any sign, she is fully aware of everything happening around her. She is like someone who has seen their own coffin carried into the room but can’t cry out, ‘Don’t bury me alive!’ So, judge for yourself, with this intense awareness and this inability to express it, what the effect of your presence might be—first an agony of despair, and then the total extinguishing of life!”
“I have known but one such case,—a mother whose heart was wrapped up in a suffering infant. She had lain for two days and two nights, still, as if in her shroud. All save myself said, ‘Life is gone.’ I said, ‘Life still is there.’ They brought in the infant, to try what effect its presence would produce; then her lips moved, and the hands crossed upon her bosom trembled.”
“I have known only one case like this—a mother completely consumed with worry for her suffering baby. She had lain still for two days and two nights, as if in a shroud. Everyone but me said, ‘Life is gone.’ I said, ‘Life is still there.’ They brought in the baby to see what effect its presence would have; then her lips moved, and the hands crossed over her chest trembled.”
“And the result?” exclaimed Faber, eagerly. “If the result of your experience sanction your presence, come; the sight of the babe rekindled life?”
“And the result?” Faber exclaimed eagerly. “If your experience justifies your presence, come; did the sight of the baby bring life back to you?”
“No; extinguished its last spark! I will not enter Lilian’s room. I will go away,—away from the house itself. That acute consciousness! I know it well! She may even hear me move in the room below, hear me speak at this moment. Go back to her, go back! But if hers be the state which I have known in another, which may be yet more familiar to persons of far ampler experience than mine, there is no immediate danger of death. The state will last through to-day, through to-night, perhaps for days to come. Is it so?”
“No; it's completely gone! I won't go into Lilian’s room. I'm leaving—leaving the house altogether. That intense awareness! I know it too well! She might even hear me moving around in the room below, hear me talking right now. Go back to her, go back! But if what she's experiencing is like what I've seen in someone else, which might be even more familiar to those who have much more experience than I do, there’s no immediate risk of death. This state could last through today, through tonight, maybe for days to come. Is that true?”
“I believe that for at least twelve hours there will be no change in her state. I believe also that if she recover from it, calm and refreshed, as from a sleep, the danger of death will have passed away.”
“I believe that for at least twelve hours there won’t be any change in her condition. I also think that if she recovers from it, calm and refreshed, like waking from a sleep, the danger of death will have passed.”
“And for twelve hours my presence would be hurtful?”
“And for twelve hours, my being here would be harmful?”
“Rather say fatal, if my diagnosis be right.”
"Better to say fatal, if my diagnosis is correct."
I wrung my friend’s hand, and we parted.
I shook my friend's hand, and we went our separate ways.
Oh, to lose her now!—now that her love and her reason had both returned, each more vivid than before! Futile, indeed, might be Margrave’s boasted secret; but at least in that secret was hope. In recognized science I saw only despair.
Oh, to lose her now!—now that her love and her reason had both returned, each more vivid than before! Futile, indeed, might be Margrave’s boasted secret; but at least in that secret was hope. In recognized science, I saw only despair.
And at that thought all dread of this mysterious visitor vanished,—all anxiety to question more of his attributes or his history. His life itself became to me dear and precious. What if it should fail me in the steps of the process, whatever that was, by which the life of my Lilian might be saved!
And with that thought, all fear of this mysterious visitor disappeared—any worry about asking more about his qualities or past vanished. His life became incredibly valuable to me. What if it were to end before I could find out how to save my Lilian’s life, whatever that might involve!
The shades of evening were now closing in. I remembered that I had left Margrave without even food for many hours. I stole round to the back of the house, filled a basket with elements more generous than those of the former day; extracted fresh drugs from my stores, and, thus laden, hurried back to the hut. I found Margrave in the room below, seated on his mysterious coffer, leaning his face on his hand. When I entered, he looked up, and said,—
The evening shadows were starting to settle in. I realized I had left Margrave without food for many hours. I quietly made my way around to the back of the house, filled a basket with better supplies than the day before, took some fresh medicine from my stock, and, carrying all that, rushed back to the hut. I found Margrave in the room below, sitting on his strange chest, resting his face on his hand. When I walked in, he looked up and said,—
“You have neglected me. My strength is waning. Give me more of the cordial, for we have work before us to-night, and I need support.”
“You've been ignoring me. I'm losing my strength. Give me more of the drink, because we have work to do tonight, and I need some support.”
He took for granted my assent to his wild experiment; and he was right.
He assumed I agreed to his crazy experiment, and he was right.
I administered the cordial. I placed food before him, and this time he did not eat with repugnance. I poured out wine, and he drank it sparingly, but with ready compliance, saying, “In perfect health, I looked upon wine as poison; now it is like a foretaste of the glorious elixir.”
I gave him the drink. I set food in front of him, and this time he didn't eat with disgust. I poured him some wine, and he drank it slowly but willingly, saying, “In perfect health, I viewed wine as poison; now it feels like a taste of the wonderful elixir.”
After he had thus recruited himself, he seemed to acquire an energy that startlingly contrasted his languor the day before; the effort of breathing was scarcely perceptible; the colour came back to his cheeks; his bended frame rose elastic and erect.
After he had refreshed himself, he seemed to gain an energy that was a shocking contrast to his fatigue the day before; breathing felt effortless; color returned to his cheeks; his hunched posture straightened up and became lively.
“If I understood you rightly,” said I, “the experiment you ask me to aid can be accomplished in a single night?”
“If I understand you correctly,” I said, “the experiment you want me to help with can be done in just one night?”
“In a single night,—this night.”
“Tonight.”
“Command me. Why not begin at once? What apparatus or chemical agencies do you need?”
“Tell me what to do. Why not start right now? What tools or chemicals do you need?”
“Ah!” said Margrave, “formerly, how I was misled! Formerly, how my conjectures blundered! I thought, when I asked you to give a month to the experiment I wish to make, that I should need the subtlest skill of the chemist. I then believed, with Van Helmont, that the principle of life is a gas, and that the secret was but in the mode by which the gas might be rightly administered. But now all that I need is contained in this coffer, save one very simple material,—fuel sufficient for a steady fire for six hours. I see even that is at hand, piled up in your outhouse. And now for the substance itself,—to that you must guide me.”
“Ah!” said Margrave, “how misguided I was in the past! How my guesses were off! I thought that when I asked you to give a month for the experiment I wanted to conduct, I would need the most advanced skills of a chemist. I used to believe, like Van Helmont, that the essence of life is a gas, and that the secret lay in the right way to handle that gas. But now, everything I need is in this box, except for one very simple thing—enough fuel to keep a steady fire for six hours. I can see that’s already available, stacked up in your shed. Now, about the substance itself—you need to direct me to that.”
“Explain.”
"Explain it."
“Near this very spot is there not gold—in mines yet undiscovered?—and gold of the purest metal?”
“Isn't there gold right here—waiting to be found in undiscovered mines?—and gold that’s the purest quality?”
“There is. What then? Do you, with the alchemists, blend in one discovery gold and life?”
“There is. What then? Do you, with the alchemists, mix together in one discovery gold and life?”
“No. But it is only where the chemistry of earth or of man produces gold, that the substance from which the great pabulum of life is extracted by ferment can be found. Possibly, in the attempts at that transmutation of metals, which I think your own great chemist, Sir Humphry Davy, allowed might be possible, but held not to be worth the cost of the process,—possibly, in those attempts, some scanty grains of this substance were found by the alchemists, in the crucible, with grains of the metal as niggardly yielded by pitiful mimicry of Nature’s stupendous laboratory; and from such grains enough of the essence might, perhaps, have been drawn forth, to add a few years of existence to some feeble graybeard,—granting, what rests on no proofs, that some of the alchemists reached an age rarely given to man. But it is not in the miserly crucible, it is in the matrix of Nature herself, that we must seek in prolific abundance Nature’s grand principle,—life. As the loadstone is rife with the magnetic virtue, as amber contains the electric, so in this substance, to which we yet want a name, is found the bright life-giving fluid. In the old goldmines of Asia and Europe the substance exists, but can rarely be met with. The soil for its nutriment may there be well-nigh exhausted. It is here, where Nature herself is all vital with youth, that the nutriment of youth must be sought. Near this spot is gold; guide me to it.”
“No. But it's only where the chemistry of the earth or of humans creates gold that we can find the substance from which the essential nourishment of life is extracted through fermentation. Perhaps, in the attempts to transform metals, which I believe your esteemed chemist, Sir Humphry Davy, suggested could be possible but not worth the expense of the process—maybe in those attempts, some meager grains of this substance were discovered by alchemists in the crucible, alongside the paltry amounts of metal produced by a poor imitation of Nature’s remarkable laboratory; and from such grains, enough of the essence might have been drawn forth to extend a few years of life for some frail old man—assuming, without proof, that some alchemists achieved an age rarely granted to humans. But we must not search for it in a stingy crucible; we must look in the very heart of Nature, where her grand principle—life—abounds. Just as lodestones are rich in magnetic properties, and amber holds electricity, so in this substance, which still lacks a name, lies the bright, life-giving essence. It exists in the ancient gold mines of Asia and Europe but is seldom found. The soil for its nourishment there may be nearly depleted. Here, where Nature herself is bursting with youth, we must seek the nutrients of youth. Close to this spot is gold; lead me to it.”
“You cannot come with me. The place which I know as auriferous is some miles distant, the way rugged. You can not walk to it. It is true I have horses, but—”
“You can't come with me. The place I know that's filled with gold is a few miles away, and the path is rough. You can't walk there. It's true I have horses, but—”
“Do you think I have come this distance and not foreseen and forestalled all that I want for my object? Trouble your self not with conjectures how I can arrive at the place. I have provided the means to arrive at and leave it. My litter and its bearers are in reach of my call. Give me your arm to the rising ground, fifty yards from your door.”
“Do you really think I’ve come this far without planning and preparing for everything I want to achieve? Don’t waste your time guessing how I’ll get there. I have everything sorted to get there and leave. My carriage and its carriers are ready and waiting for my call. Please give me your arm to help me up to the higher ground, fifty yards from your door.”
I obeyed mechanically, stifling all surprise. I had made my resolve, and admitted no thought that could shake it. When we reached the summit of the grassy hillock, which sloped from the road that led to the seaport, Margrave, after pausing to recover breath, lifted up his voice, in a key, not loud, but shrill and slow and prolonged, half cry and half chant, like the nighthawk’s. Through the air—so limpid and still, bringing near far objects, far sounds—the voice pierced its way, artfully pausing, till wave after wave of the atmosphere bore and transmitted it on.
I followed without thinking, pushing aside my surprise. I had made up my mind and wouldn't entertain any doubts. When we reached the top of the grassy hill that sloped down to the road leading to the seaport, Margrave, after taking a moment to catch his breath, raised his voice. It wasn't loud, but it was shrill, slow, and prolonged, like a mix of a cry and a chant, similar to the sound of a nighthawk. In the clear, still air that brought distant objects and sounds closer, his voice broke through, artfully pausing, as wave after wave of the atmosphere carried and echoed it further.
In a few minutes the call seemed re-echoed, so exactly, so cheerily, that for the moment I thought that the note was the mimicry of the shy mocking Lyre-Bird, which mimics so merrily all that it hears in its coverts, from the whir of the locust to the howl of the wild dog.
In just a few minutes, the call echoed back so perfectly, so joyfully, that for a moment I thought it was the playful imitation of the shy Lyre-Bird, which cheerfully mimics everything it hears in its surroundings, from the buzzing of the locust to the howling of the wild dog.
“What king,” said the mystical charmer, and as he spoke he carelessly rested his hand on my shoulder, so that I trembled to feel that this dread son of Nature, Godless and soulless, who had been—and, my heart whispered, who still could be—my bane and mind-darkener, leaned upon me for support, as the spoilt younger-born on his brother,—“what king,” said this cynical mocker, with his beautiful boyish face,—“what king in your civilized Europe has the sway of a chief of the East? What link is so strong between mortal and mortal, as that between lord and slave? I transport yon poor fools from the land of their birth; they preserve here their old habits,—obedience and awe. They would wait till they starved in the solitude,—wait to hearken and answer my call. And I, who thus rule them, or charm them—I use and despise them. They know that, and yet serve me! Between you and me, my philosopher, there is but one thing worth living for,—life for oneself.”
“What king," said the mystical charmer, and as he spoke, he casually rested his hand on my shoulder, making me tremble at the touch of this chilling being, Godless and soulless, who had been—and, my heart whispered, still could be—my downfall and source of darkness, leaning on me for support like a spoiled younger sibling on his brother, “what king," said this cynical mocker with his strikingly youthful face, “what king in your civilized Europe has the power of a chief from the East? What bond is stronger between people than that between lord and slave? I take these poor fools from their homeland; they cling to their old ways here—obedience and fear. They would wait until they starved in isolation—waiting to hear and respond to my call. And I, who rule or enchant them—use and look down on them. They understand that, and yet still serve me! Between you and me, my philosopher, there is only one thing worth living for—living for oneself.”
Is it age, is it youth, that thus shocks all my sense, in my solemn completeness of man? Perhaps, in great capitals, young men of pleasure will answer, “It is youth; and we think what he says!” Young friends, I do not believe you.
Is it age or youth that disrupts my understanding, in my serious maturity as a man? Maybe, in big cities, young pleasure-seekers will say, “It’s youth; and we agree with him!” Young friends, I don’t believe you.
CHAPTER LXXX.
Along the grass-track I saw now, under the moon, just risen, a strange procession, never seen before in Australian pastures. It moved on, noiselessly but quickly. We descended the hillock, and met it on the way,—a sable litter, borne by four men, in unfamiliar Eastern garments; two other servitors, more bravely dressed, with yataghans and silver-hilted pistols in their belts, preceded this sombre equipage. Perhaps Margrave divined the disdainful thought that passed through my mind, vaguely and half-unconsciously; for he said, with a hollow, bitter laugh that had replaced the lively peal of his once melodious mirth,—
Along the grassy path, I now saw, under the newly risen moon, a strange procession that I had never seen before in Australian fields. It moved quietly but swiftly. We went down the hill and encountered it on the way—a black litter carried by four men in unfamiliar Eastern clothing; two other attendants, dressed more grandly with yataghans and silver-hilted pistols at their belts, led this somber vehicle. Maybe Margrave sensed the disdainful thought that crossed my mind, vague and half-unconscious, because he said, with a hollow, bitter laugh that had replaced the lively sound of his once melodious laughter—
“A little leisure and a little gold, and your raw colonist, too, will have the tastes of a pacha.”
“A bit of free time and a bit of money, and your average colonist will start to have the tastes of a wealthy ruler.”
I made no answer. I had ceased to care who and what was my tempter. To me his whole being was resolved into one problem: Had he a secret by which death could be turned from Lilian?
I didn’t respond. I stopped caring about who my tempter was. To me, he was just one issue: Did he have a secret that could save Lilian from death?
But now, as the litter halted, from the long dark shadow which it cast upon the turf the figure of a woman emerged and stood before us. The outlines of her shape were lost in the loose folds of a black mantle, and the features of her face were hidden by a black veil, except only the dark, bright, solemn eyes. Her stature was lofty, her bearing majestic, whether in movement or repose.
But now, as the litter stopped, from the long dark shadow it cast on the grass, a woman stepped out and stood in front of us. Her figure was obscured by the loose folds of a black cloak, and the features of her face were concealed by a black veil, except for her dark, bright, serious eyes. She was tall, and her presence was commanding, whether she was moving or standing still.
Margrave accosted her in some language unknown to me. She replied in what seemed to me the same tongue. The tones of her voice were sweet, but inexpressibly mournful. The words that they uttered appeared intended to warn, or deprecate, or dissuade; but they called to Margrave’s brow a lowering frown, and drew from his lips a burst of unmistakable anger. The woman rejoined, in the same melancholy music of voice. And Margrave then, leaning his arm upon her shoulder, as he had leaned it on mine, drew her away from the group into a neighbouring copse of the flowering eucalypti,—mystic trees, never changing the hues of their pale-green leaves, ever shifting the tints of their ash-gray, shedding bark. For some moments I gazed on the two human forms, dimly seen by the glinting moonlight through the gaps in the foliage. Then turning away my eyes, I saw, standing close at my side, a man whom I had not noticed before. His footstep, as it stole to me, had fallen on the sward without sound. His dress, though Oriental, differed from that of his companions, both in shape and colour; fitting close to the breast, leaving the arms bare to the elbow, and of a uniform ghastly white, as are the cerements of the grave. His visage was even darker than those of the Syrians or Arabs behind him, and his features were those of a bird of prey,—the beak of the eagle, but the eye of the vulture. His cheeks were hollow; the arms, crossed on his breast, were long and fleshless. Yet in that skeleton form there was a something which conveyed the idea of a serpent’s suppleness and strength; and as the hungry, watchful eyes met my own startled gaze, I recoiled impulsively with that inward warning of danger which is conveyed to man, as to inferior animals, in the very aspect of the creatures that sting or devour. At my movement the man inclined his head in the submissive Eastern salutation, and spoke in his foreign tongue, softly, humbly, fawningly, to judge by his tone and his gesture.
Margrave approached her speaking a language I didn't understand. She replied in what sounded like the same language. Her voice was sweet but incredibly sad. The words they exchanged seemed meant to warn, disapprove, or persuade; however, they brought a frown to Margrave’s forehead and triggered a clear outburst of anger from him. The woman responded with the same melancholic tone. Margrave then leaned his arm on her shoulder, just like he had on mine, and led her away from the group into a nearby grove of flowering eucalyptus trees—mystical trees that never change the color of their pale green leaves but constantly shift the shades of their ashy gray, shedding bark. For a few moments, I watched the two figures, faintly illuminated by the shimmering moonlight through the leaves. Then, when I turned my gaze away, I noticed a man standing right beside me whom I hadn't seen before. His approach had been silent, his footsteps barely making a sound on the grass. His outfit, although Eastern, was different from the others, both in style and color; it fit tightly to his chest, leaving his arms bare to the elbow, and was a uniform, eerie white, reminiscent of grave shrouds. His face was even darker than those of the Syrians or Arabs around him, and his features resembled those of a bird of prey—an eagle's beak but a vulture's eye. His cheeks were sunken, and his arms, crossed over his chest, were long and bony. Yet, within that skeletal figure, there was something that suggested the flexibility and strength of a serpent; and as his hungry, watchful eyes locked onto mine, I instinctively recoiled, feeling that inner warning of danger that humans, like lower animals, receive through the very appearance of creatures that sting or consume. At my reaction, the man bowed his head in the submissive Eastern greeting and spoke in his foreign language, softly, humbly, and ingratiatingly, judging by his tone and gestures.
I moved yet farther away from him with loathing, and now the human thought flashed upon me: was I, in truth, exposed to no danger in trusting myself to the mercy of the weird and remorseless master of those hirelings from the East,—seven men in number, two at least of them formidably armed, and docile as bloodhounds to the hunter, who has only to show them their prey? But fear of man like myself is not my weakness; where fear found its way to my heart, it was through the doubts or the fancies in which man like myself disappeared in the attributes, dark and unknown, which we give to a fiend or a spectre. And, perhaps, if I could have paused to analyze my own sensations, the very presence of this escort-creatures of flesh and blood-lessened the dread of my incomprehensible tempter. Rather, a hundred times, front and defy those seven Eastern slaves—I, haughty son of the Anglo-Saxon who conquers all races because he fears no odds—than have seen again on the walls of my threshold the luminous, bodiless Shadow! Besides: Lilian! Lilian! for one chance of saving her life, however wild and chimerical that chance might be, I would have shrunk not a foot from the march of an army.
I moved even further away from him with disgust, and then the human thought hit me: was I really safe in trusting myself to the mercy of the strange and merciless master of those hired men from the East—seven in total, at least two of them heavily armed, and obedient as bloodhounds to the hunter, who only has to show them their prey? But fear of a man like myself is not my weakness; the fear that reached my heart came from doubts or fantasies that turned someone like me into the dark and unknown attributes we assign to a demon or a ghost. And maybe, if I had paused to analyze my feelings, the presence of these escort-creatures of flesh and blood actually lessened the terror of my incomprehensible tempter. I would rather face and challenge those seven Eastern slaves a hundred times—I, the proud son of the Anglo-Saxon who conquers all races because he fears no odds—than see again on the walls of my home the glowing, bodiless Shadow! Besides: Lilian! Lilian! For just one chance to save her life, no matter how wild and unrealistic that chance might be, I wouldn’t hesitate to march against an army.
Thus reassured and thus resolved, I advanced, with a smile of disdain, to meet Margrave and his veiled companion, as they now came from the moonlit copse.
Thus reassured and thus resolved, I moved forward, wearing a smile of disdain, to meet Margrave and his veiled companion as they emerged from the moonlit thicket.
“Well,” I said to him, with an irony that unconsciously mimicked his own, “have you taken advice with your nurse? I assume that the dark form by your side is that of Ayesha.”
“Well,” I said to him, with an ironic tone that unintentionally mirrored his own, “have you gotten advice from your nurse? I assume the shadowy figure next to you is Ayesha.”
The woman looked at me from her sable veil, with her steadfast solemn eyes, and said, in English, though with a foreign accent: “The nurse born in Asia is but wise through her love; the pale son of Europe is wise through his art. The nurse says, ‘Forbear!’ Do you say, ‘Adventure’?”
The woman looked at me from behind her dark veil, her serious eyes unwavering, and said in English, though with a foreign accent: “The nurse from Asia knows wisdom only through her love; the pale son of Europe knows wisdom through his skill. The nurse says, ‘Hold back!’ Do you say, ‘Go for it’?”
“Peace!” exclaimed Margrave, stamping his foot on the ground. “I take no counsel from either; it is for me to resolve, for you to obey, and for him to aid. Night is come, and we waste it; move on.”
“Peace!” shouted Margrave, stamping his foot on the ground. “I’m not taking advice from either of you; it’s for me to make the decisions, for you to follow, and for him to help. Night has fallen, and we’re wasting it; let’s move on.”
The woman made no reply, nor did I. He took my arm and walked back to the hut. The barbaric escort followed. When we reached the door of the building, Margrave said a few words to the woman and to the litter-bearers. They entered the hut with us. Margrave pointed out to the woman his coffer, to the men the fuel stowed in the outhouse. Both were borne away and placed within the litter. Meanwhile, I took from the table, on which it was carelessly thrown, the light hatchet that I habitually carried with me in my rambles.
The woman didn’t respond, and neither did I. He grabbed my arm and we walked back to the hut. The rough escort followed us. When we got to the door of the building, Margrave said a few words to the woman and the litter-bearers. They came into the hut with us. Margrave pointed out his coffer to the woman and the fuel stored in the outhouse to the men. Both were taken and placed in the litter. In the meantime, I picked up the light hatchet from the table where it had been carelessly left; it was something I usually carried with me on my outings.
“Do you think that you need that idle weapon?” said Margrave. “Do you fear the good faith of my swarthy attendants?”
“Do you really think you need that useless weapon?” said Margrave. “Are you worried about the trustworthiness of my dark-skinned attendants?”
“Nay, take the hatchet yourself; its use is to sever the gold from the quartz in which we may find it embedded, or to clear, as this shovel, which will also be needed, from the slight soil above it, the ore that the mine in the mountain flings forth, as the sea casts its waifs on the sands.”
“Sure, take the hatchet yourself; it’s used to separate the gold from the quartz where it might be hidden, or to clear away, like this shovel, which will also be necessary, the thin layer of dirt above it, the ore that the mine in the mountain brings out, just as the sea washes up its treasures on the shore.”
“Give me your hand, fellow-labourer!” said Margrave, joyfully. “Ah, there is no faltering terror in this pulse! I was not mistaken in the Man. What rests, but the Place and the Hour? I shall live! I shall live!”
“Give me your hand, partner!” said Margrave, happily. “Ah, there’s no trembling fear in this heartbeat! I knew I was right about you. What’s left is just the Place and the Hour. I’m going to live! I’m going to live!”
CHAPTER LXXXI.
Margrave now entered the litter, and the Veiled Woman drew the black curtains round him. I walked on, as the guide, some yards in advance. The air was still, heavy, and parched with the breath of the Australasian sirocco.
Margrave got into the litter, and the Veiled Woman pulled the black curtains around him. I walked ahead as the guide, a few yards in front. The air was calm, thick, and dry from the Australasian sirocco.
We passed through the meadow-lands, studded with slumbering flocks; we followed the branch of the creek, which was linked to its source in the mountains by many a trickling waterfall; we threaded the gloom of stunted, misshapen trees, gnarled with the stringy bark which makes one of the signs of the strata that nourish gold; and at length the moon, now in all her pomp of light, mid-heaven amongst her subject stars, gleamed through the fissures of the cave, on whose floor lay the relics of antediluvian races, and rested in one flood of silvery splendour upon the hollows of the extinct volcano, with tufts of dank herbage, and wide spaces of paler sward, covering the gold below,—Gold, the dumb symbol of organized Matter’s great mystery, storing in itself, according as Mind, the informer of Matter, can distinguish its uses, evil and good, bane and blessing.
We walked through the meadows filled with sleeping sheep; we followed the creek, which was connected to its source in the mountains by several small waterfalls; we navigated through the shadow of stunted, twisted trees, gnarled with the stringy bark that hints at the layers that hide gold; and finally, the moon, now shining in all her brilliance, high in the sky among her surrounding stars, beamed through the cracks of the cave, where the remains of ancient civilizations rested on the ground, and cast a silvery light over the hollows of the long-gone volcano, which had patches of damp grass and large areas of lighter grass covering the gold beneath—Gold, the silent symbol of the great mystery of organized Matter, holding within it the potential for both good and evil, benefit and harm, as determined by the Mind that understands its uses.
Hitherto the Veiled Woman had remained in the rear, with the white-robed, skeleton-like image that had crept to my side unawares with its noiseless step. Thus in each winding turn of the difficult path at which the convoy following behind me came into sight, I had seen, first, the two gayly-dressed, armed men, next the black bier-like litter, and last the Black-veiled Woman and the White-robed Skeleton.
So far, the Veiled Woman had stayed in the back, along with the white-robed, skeleton-like figure that had silently crept up beside me without me noticing. At every twist and turn of the challenging path where the group following me came into view, I first saw the two brightly dressed, armed men, then the black bier-like stretcher, and finally the Black-veiled Woman and the White-robed Skeleton.
But now, as I halted on the tableland, backed by the mountain and fronting the valley, the woman left her companion, passed by the litter and the armed men, and paused by my side, at the mouth of the moonlit cavern.
But now, as I stood on the flat land, with the mountain behind me and facing the valley, the woman left her friend, walked past the stretcher and the armed men, and stopped next to me, at the entrance of the moonlit cave.
There for a moment she stood, silent, the procession below mounting upward laboriously and slow; then she turned to me, and her veil was withdrawn.
There she stood for a moment, silent, as the procession below climbed upward slowly and with effort; then she turned to me, and her veil was lifted.
The face on which I gazed was wondrously beautiful, and severely awful. There was neither youth nor age, but beauty, mature and majestic as that of a marble Demeter.
The face I looked at was wonderfully beautiful and strikingly terrifying. There was no sign of youth or age, just a beauty that was mature and majestic like that of a marble Demeter.
“Do you believe in that which you seek?” she asked, in her foreign, melodious, melancholy accents.
“Do you believe in what you're searching for?” she asked, in her foreign, melodic, sad tones.
“I have no belief,” was my answer. “True science has none. True science questions all things, takes nothing upon credit. It knows but three states of the mind,—Denial, Conviction, and that vast interval between the two, which is not belief, but suspense of judgment.”
“I don't believe in anything,” was my reply. “Real science doesn’t either. Real science questions everything, doesn’t take anything for granted. It recognizes only three states of the mind—Denial, Conviction, and that huge space in between the two, which isn’t belief, but rather a suspension of judgment.”
The woman let fall her veil, moved from me, and seated herself on a crag above that cleft between mountain and creek, to which, when I had first discovered the gold that the land nourished, the rain from the clouds had given the rushing life of the cataract; but which now, in the drought and the hush of the skies, was but a dead pile of stones.
The woman dropped her veil, moved away from me, and sat on a rock above the gap between the mountain and the creek, where I had first found the gold that the land produced. The rain from the clouds had once brought it to life with the rush of the waterfall; but now, during the drought and the quiet skies, it was just a lifeless pile of stones.
The litter now ascended the height: its bearers halted; a lean hand tore the curtains aside, and Margrave descended, leaning, this time, not on the Black-veiled Woman, but on the White-robed Skeleton.
The litter now climbed the slope: its carriers stopped; a thin hand pulled the curtains back, and Margrave got out, leaning this time, not on the Black-veiled Woman, but on the White-robed Skeleton.
There, as he stood, the moon shone full on his wasted form; on his face, resolute, cheerful, and proud, despite its hollowed outlines and sicklied hues. He raised his head, spoke in the language unknown to me, and the armed men and the litter-bearers grouped round him, bending low, their eyes fixed on the ground. The Veiled Woman rose slowly and came to his side, motioning away, with a mute sign, the ghastly form on which he leaned, and passing round him silently, instead, her own sustaining arm. Margrave spoke again a few sentences, of which I could not even guess the meaning. When he had concluded, the armed men and the litter-bearers came nearer to his feet, knelt down, and kissed his hand. They then rose, and took from the bier-like vehicle the coffer and the fuel. This done, they lifted again the litter, and again, preceded by the armed men, the procession descended down the sloping hillside, down into the valley below.
There, as he stood, the moon shone brightly on his weakened form; on his face, determined, cheerful, and proud, despite its hollow features and pale colors. He lifted his head, spoke in a language I didn't understand, and the armed men and the litter-bearers gathered around him, bending low, their eyes focused on the ground. The Veiled Woman stood up slowly and came to his side, silently signaling away the ghastly figure he was leaning on, and instead, wrapping her own supportive arm around him. Margrave spoke once more in a few sentences, of which I couldn’t even guess the meaning. When he finished, the armed men and the litter-bearers moved closer to his feet, knelt down, and kissed his hand. They then stood up, took the box and the fuel from the bier-like vehicle. After that, they lifted the litter again, and once more, led by the armed men, the procession made its way down the sloping hillside, into the valley below.
Margrave now whispered, for some moments, into the ear of the hideous creature who had made way for the Veiled Woman. The grim skeleton bowed his head submissively, and strode noiselessly away through the long grasses,—the slender stems, trampled under his stealthy feet, relifting themselves, as after a passing wind. And thus he, too, sank out of sight down into the valley below. On the tableland of the hill remained only we three,—Margrave, myself, and the Veiled Woman.
Margrave now leaned in and quietly spoke into the ear of the ugly creature who had stepped aside for the Veiled Woman. The grim skeleton lowered his head in submission and silently walked away through the tall grass—the slender stems, pressed down beneath his quiet steps, eventually lifting themselves up again as if stirred by a breeze. And so he disappeared down into the valley below. On the hilltop, only the three of us remained—Margrave, me, and the Veiled Woman.
She had reseated herself apart, on the gray crag above the dried torrent. He stood at the entrance of the cavern, round the sides of which clustered parasital plants, with flowers of all colours, some amongst them opening their petals and exhaling their fragrance only in the hours of night; so that, as his form filled up the jaws of the dull arch, obscuring the moonbeam that strove to pierce the shadows that slept within, it stood now—wan and blighted—as I had seen it first, radiant and joyous, literally “framed in blooms.”
She had settled herself apart, on the gray rock above the dried-up stream. He stood at the entrance of the cave, surrounded by parasitic plants, with flowers of all colors, some of which only opened their petals and released their fragrance at night; so that, as his figure filled the mouth of the dull arch, blocking the moonlight that tried to break through the shadows inside, it now appeared—pale and withered—just as I had first seen it, bright and joyful, literally “framed in blooms.”
CHAPTER LXXXII.
“So,” said Margrave, turning to me, “under the soil that spreads around us lies the gold which to you and to me is at this moment of no value, except as a guide to its twin-born,—the regenerator of life!”
“So,” said Margrave, turning to me, “under the soil surrounding us lies the gold that, right now, means nothing to you and me, except as a clue to its counterpart—the source of life!”
“You have not yet described to me the nature of the substance which we are to explore, nor of the process by which the virtues you impute to it are to be extracted.”
“You haven't told me yet what the substance is that we're going to explore or how we're going to extract the qualities you attribute to it.”
“Let us first find the gold, and instead of describing the life-amber, so let me call it, I will point it out to your own eyes. As to the process, your share in it is so simple, that you will ask me why I seek aid from a chemist. The life-amber, when found, has but to be subjected to heat and fermentation for six hours; it will be placed, in a small caldron which that coffer contains, over the fire which that fuel will feed. To give effect to the process, certain alkalies and other ingredients are required; but these are prepared, and mine is the task to commingle them. From your science as chemist I need and ask nought. In you I have sought only the aid of a man.”
“First, let's find the gold, and instead of explaining the life-amber—let’s call it that—I’ll show it to you directly. As for the process, your role is so easy that you might wonder why I need help from a chemist. Once we find the life-amber, it just needs to be heated and fermented for six hours. It will be placed in a small cauldron that’s in that coffer, over the fire that the fuel will ignite. To make the process work, we need certain alkalies and other ingredients, but those are ready, and my job is to mix them together. I don’t need anything from your chemistry expertise; I’m just asking for your help as a person.”
“If that be so, why, indeed, seek me at all? Why not confide in those swarthy attendants, who doubtless are slaves to your orders?”
“If that’s the case, then why even look for me? Why not trust those dark-skinned attendants, who are probably just obeying your commands?”
“Confide in slaves! when the first task enjoined to them would be to discover, and refrain from purloining gold! Seven such unscrupulous knaves, or even one such, and I, thus defenceless and feeble! Such is not the work that wise masters confide to fierce slaves. But that is the least of the reasons which exclude them from my choice, and fix my choice of assistant on you. Do you forget what I told you of the danger which the Dervish declared no bribe I could offer could tempt him a second time to brave?”
“Trust slaves! When the first thing they're asked to do is find and not steal gold! Seven such dishonest thieves, or even just one, and here I am, defenseless and weak! A wise master wouldn't put fierce slaves in charge of important tasks. But that's just one of the reasons I wouldn't choose them, which is why I’m picking you as my assistant. Have you forgotten what I told you about the danger that the Dervish said no bribe could make him face again?”
“I remember now; those words had passed away from my mind.”
“I remember now; those words had slipped from my mind.”
“And because they had passed away from your mind, I chose you for my comrade. I need a man by whom danger is scorned.”
“And because they've faded from your thoughts, I chose you as my friend. I need someone who laughs in the face of danger.”
“But in the process of which you tell me I see no possible danger unless the ingredients you mix in your caldron have poisonous fumes.”
"But in the process you're describing, I don't see any possible danger unless the ingredients you're mixing in your cauldron give off toxic fumes."
“It is not that. The ingredients I use are not poisons.”
“It’s not that. The ingredients I use aren’t toxic.”
“What other danger, except you dread your own Eastern slaves? But, if so, why lead them to these solitudes; and, if so, why not bid me be armed?”
“What other danger is there, except that you fear your own Eastern slaves? But if that's the case, why bring them to these lonely places; and if that's true, why not tell me to be armed?”
“The Eastern slaves, fulfilling my commands, wait for my summons where their eyes cannot see what we do. The danger is of a kind in which the boldest son of the East would be more craven, perhaps, than the daintiest Sybarite of Europe, who would shrink from a panther and laugh at a ghost. In the creed of the Dervish, and of all who adventure into that realm of nature which is closed to philosophy and open to magic, there are races in the magnitude of space unseen as animalcules in the world of a drop. For the tribes of the drop, science has its microscope. Of the host of yon azure Infinite magic gains sight, and through them gains command over fluid conductors that link all the parts of creation. Of these races, some are wholly indifferent to man, some benign to him, and some dreadly hostile. In all the regular and prescribed conditions of mortal being, this magic realm seems as blank and tenantless as yon vacant air. But when a seeker of powers beyond the rude functions by which man plies the clockwork that measures his hours, and stops when its chain reaches the end of its coil, strives to pass over those boundaries at which philosophy says, ‘Knowledge ends,’—then he is like all other travellers in regions unknown; he must propitiate or brave the tribes that are hostile,—must depend for his life on the tribes that are friendly. Though your science discredits the alchemist’s dogmas, your learning informs you that all alchemists were not ignorant impostors; yet those whose discoveries prove them to have been the nearest allies to your practical knowledge, ever hint in their mystical works at the reality of that realm which is open to magic,—ever hint that some means less familiar than furnace and bellows are essential to him who explores the elixir of life. He who once quaffs that elixir, obtains in his very veins the bright fluid by which he transmits the force of his will to agencies dormant in nature, to giants unseen in the space. And here, as he passes the boundary which divides his allotted and normal mortality from the regions and races that magic alone can explore, so, here, he breaks down the safeguard between himself and the tribes that are hostile. Is it not ever thus between man and man? Let a race the most gentle and timid and civilized dwell on one side a river or mountain, and another have home in the region beyond, each, if it pass not the intervening barrier, may with each live in peace. But if ambitious adventurers scale the mountain, or cross the river, with design to subdue and enslave the population they boldly invade, then all the invaded arise in wrath and defiance,—the neighbours are changed into foes. And therefore this process—by which a simple though rare material of nature is made to yield to a mortal the boon of a life which brings, with its glorious resistance to Time, desires and faculties to subject to its service beings that dwell in the earth and the air and the deep—has ever been one of the same peril which an invader must brave when he crosses the bounds of his nation. By this key alone you unlock all the cells of the alchemist’s lore; by this alone understand how a labour, which a chemist’s crudest apprentice could perform, has baffled the giant fathers of all your dwarfed children of science. Nature, that stores this priceless boon, seems to shrink from conceding it to man; the invisible tribes that abhor him, oppose themselves to the gain that might give them a master. The duller of those who were the life-seekers of old would have told you how some chance, trivial, unlooked-for, foiled their grand hope at the very point of fruition,—some doltish mistake, some improvident oversight, a defect in the sulphur, a wild overflow in the quicksilver, or a flaw in the bellows, or a pupil who failed to replenish the fuel, by falling asleep by the furnace. The invisible foes seldom vouchsafe to make themselves visible where they can frustrate the bungler, as they mock at his toils from their ambush. But the mightier adventurers, equally foiled in despite of their patience and skill, would have said, ‘Not with us rests the fault; we neglected no caution, we failed from no oversight. But out from the caldron dread faces arose, and the spectres or demons dismayed and baffled us.’ Such, then, is the danger which seems so appalling to a son of the East, as it seemed to a seer in the dark age of Europe. But we can deride all its threats, you and I. For myself, I own frankly I take all the safety that the charms and resources of magic bestow. You, for your safety, have the cultured and disciplined reason which reduces all fantasies to nervous impressions; and I rely on the courage of one who has questioned, unquailing, the Luminous Shadow, and wrested from the hand of the magician himself the wand which concentred the wonders of will!”
“The Eastern slaves, following my orders, wait for my call where their eyes can't see what we do. The danger we face makes even the bravest man from the East seem more cowardly than the most delicate Sybarite of Europe, who would flinch from a panther yet laugh at a ghost. In the belief of the Dervish and all who venture into that realm of nature, which is closed to philosophy yet open to magic, there exist races on the vast scale of unseen space, like tiny organisms in a drop of water. For those tiny creatures, science has its microscope. In the vastness of the azure Infinite, magic gains insight and thus gains control over the fluid connections that link all parts of creation. Among these races, some are completely indifferent to humans, some are friendly, and some are fearfully hostile. In all the regular and predictable aspects of human existence, this magic realm appears as empty and unoccupied as the open air. But when someone seeking powers beyond the basic functions through which humans measure their hours—only to stop when their chain runs out—attempts to cross the boundaries where philosophy declares, ‘Knowledge ends,’ they are like all travelers in unknown lands; they must appease or confront the hostile tribes and must rely on the friendly tribes for their survival. While your science dismisses the alchemist's theories, your education reminds you that not all alchemists were foolish charlatans; indeed, those whose findings have proven them closest to your practical knowledge often subtly allude to the reality of the realm accessible to magic, suggesting that methods less familiar than furnace and bellows are crucial for those exploring the elixir of life. Anyone who drinks that elixir carries within them a bright fluid that allows them to exert their will upon latent forces in nature, to unseen giants in the cosmos. And here, as they cross the line separating their ordinary mortality from the realms and races that only magic can reveal, they break down the barrier between themselves and the hostile tribes. Isn’t it always like this between people? Let a gentle, timid, and civilized community settle on one side of a river or mountain, while another community resides beyond; each, if they do not cross the natural divide, can coexist peacefully. But if some ambitious explorers scale the mountain or cross the river with the intent to conquer and enslave the enemies they brazenly intrude upon, then all the invaded rise in anger and defiance—the neighbors turn into foes. Thus, this process—by which a simple yet rare material from nature grants a mortal the gift of a life that stands gloriously against Time—carries the same peril that an intruder must face when overstepping their national borders. With this one key, you unlock all the secrets of the alchemist’s wisdom; with this alone, you can comprehend how a task that even a chemist’s most novice apprentice could achieve has evaded the most towering figures of your science. Nature, which guards this invaluable gift, seems reluctant to grant it to humans; the invisible tribes that despise humanity obstruct their access to what could elevate them to masters. The less insightful of the ancient life-seekers would tell you how some trivial, unexpected chance thwarted their grand ambitions right at the moment of success—some foolish mistake, an oversight, a flaw in the sulfur, an erratic overflow of mercury, a fault in the bellows, or a pupil who fell asleep by the furnace instead of refilling the fuel. The unseen foes rarely reveal themselves where they can sabotage the blunderer, merely mocking his efforts from the shadows. But the more powerful adventurers, similarly thwarted despite their patience and skill, would insist, ‘The fault does not lie with us; we overlooked nothing, and our failure was not due to carelessness. Yet out of the cauldron came terrifying faces, and the specters or demons unnerved and perplexed us.’ Such is the danger that appears so terrifying to a son of the East, just as it did to a seer in the dark age of Europe. But you and I can mock all its threats. For my part, I openly admit I take all the safety that the charms and resources of magic offer. You, for your safety, rely on your refined and disciplined reasoning that reduces all fantasies to mere nervous sensations; and I depend on the courage of someone who has boldly questioned the Luminous Shadow and wrested from the magician's hand the wand that focused the wonders of will!”
To this strange and long discourse I listened without interruption, and now quietly answered,—
To this weird and lengthy conversation, I listened without interrupting, and now I calmly replied,—
“I do not merit the trust you affect in my courage; but I am now on my guard against the cheats of the fancy, and the fumes of a vapour can scarcely bewilder the brain in the open air of this mountain-land. I believe in no races like those which you tell me lie viewless in space, as do gases. I believe not in magic; I ask not its aids, and I dread not its terrors. For the rest, I am confident of one mournful courage,—the courage that comes from despair. I submit to your guidance, whatever it be, as a sufferer whom colleges doom to the grave submits to the quack who says, ‘Take my specific and live!’ My life is nought in itself; my life lives in another. You and I are both brave from despair; you would turn death from yourself, I would turn death from one I love more than myself. Both know how little aid we can win from the colleges, and both, therefore, turn to the promises most audaciously cheering. Dervish or magician, alchemist or phantom, what care you and I? And if they fail us, what then? They cannot fail us more than the colleges do!”
“I don't deserve the trust you place in my courage; but I'm now on guard against the tricks of the imagination, and the haze of a mist can't easily confuse me in the clear air of this mountain region. I don't believe in the races you say are invisible in space, like gases. I don't believe in magic; I don't seek its help, and I'm not scared of its horrors. Besides that, I have one kind of sorrowful courage—the kind that comes from despair. I’ll follow your lead, whatever it might be, like someone doomed by the doctors to death would follow the quack who says, ‘Take my cure and you’ll live!’ My life means nothing on its own; my life exists for someone else. Both you and I are brave because of despair; you want to save yourself from death, while I want to save someone I love more than myself. We both understand how little help we can get from the medical professionals, and that’s why we turn to the most boldly hopeful promises. Whether it's a mystic or a magician, an alchemist or a ghost, what do we care? And if they let us down, so what? They can’t fail us more than the doctors do!”
CHAPTER LXXXIII.
The gold has been gained with an easy labour. I knew where to seek for it, whether under the turf or in the bed of the creek. But Margrave’s eyes, hungrily gazing round every spot from which the ore was disburied, could not detect the substance of which he alone knew the outward appearance. I had begun to believe that, even in the description given to him of this material, he had been credulously duped, and that no such material existed, when, coming back from the bed of the watercourse, I saw a faint yellow gleam amidst the roots of a giant parasite plant, the leaves and blossoms of which climbed up the sides of the cave with its antediluvian relics. The gleam was the gleam of gold, and on removing the loose earth round the roots of the plant, we came on—No, I will not, I dare not, describe it. The gold-digger would cast it aside, the naturalist would pause not to heed it; and did I describe it, and chemistry deign to subject it to analysis, could chemistry alone detach or discover its boasted virtues?
The gold was easy to find. I knew where to look for it, whether under the soil or in the creek bed. But Margrave’s eyes, hungrily scanning every place where the ore was uncovered, couldn’t recognize what only he knew by its appearance. I started to think that even in the descriptions I gave him of this material, he had been gullibly misled, and that no such material even existed. Then, as I returned from the creek bed, I caught sight of a faint yellow glimmer among the roots of a huge parasitic plant, its leaves and flowers climbing the cave walls with their ancient remains. The glimmer was gold, and as I cleared away the loose dirt around the plant's roots, we found—No, I won’t, I can’t describe it. The gold-digger would toss it aside, the naturalist wouldn’t even pause to notice it; and if I were to describe it, could chemistry truly analyze it and reveal its claimed qualities?
Its particles, indeed, are very minute, not seeming readily to crystallize with each other; each in itself of uniform shape and size, spherical as the egg which contains the germ of life, and small as the egg from which the life of an insect may quicken.
Its particles are very tiny, not easily forming crystals with one another; each one is uniform in shape and size, spherical like an egg that contains the germ of life, and small like the egg from which the life of an insect may awaken.
But Margrave’s keen eye caught sight of the atoms upcast by the light of the moon. He exclaimed to me, “Found! I shall live!” And then, as he gathered up the grains with tremulous hands, he called out to the Veiled Woman, hitherto still seated motionless on the crag. At his word she rose and went to the place hard by, where the fuel was piled, busying herself there. I had no leisure to heed her. I continued my search in the soft and yielding soil that time and the decay of vegetable life had accumulated over the Pre-Adamite strata on which the arch of the cave rested its mighty keystone.
But Margrave’s sharp eye spotted the particles illuminated by the moonlight. He shouted to me, “I found it! I’m going to survive!” Then, as he picked up the tiny grains with shaking hands, he called out to the Veiled Woman, who had been sitting still on the rock. At his command, she stood up and went to the nearby spot where the fuel was stacked, keeping herself busy there. I didn’t have time to pay attention to her. I kept searching in the soft, yielding soil that time and the decay of plant life had built up over the ancient layers beneath the cave, where the arch rested its huge keystone.
When we had collected of these particles about thrice as much as a man might hold in his hand, we seemed to have exhausted their bed. We continued still to find gold, but no more of the delicate substance, to which, in our sight, gold was as dross.
When we had gathered about three times the amount of these particles that a person could hold in their hand, it felt like we had cleared out their source. We still kept finding gold, but none of the fine substance, which we considered far less valuable than gold.
“Enough,” then said Margrave, reluctantly desisting. “What we have gained already will suffice for a life thrice as long as legend attributes to Haroun. I shall live,—I shall live through the centuries.”
“Enough,” Margrave said, reluctantly stopping. “What we’ve gained already is enough for a life three times longer than what legend says about Haroun. I will live—I will live for centuries.”
“Forget not that I claim my share.”
“Don’t forget that I want my part.”
“Your share—yours! True—your half of my life! It is true.” He paused with a low, ironical, malignant laugh; and then added, as he rose and turned away, “But the work is yet to be done.”
“Your share—yours! It’s true—your half of my life! It is true.” He paused with a low, ironic, malicious laugh; and then added, as he stood up and turned away, “But the work still needs to be done.”
CHAPTER LXXXIV.
While we had thus laboured and found, Ayesha had placed the fuel where the moonlight fell fullest on the sward of the tableland,—a part of it already piled as for a fire, the rest of it heaped confusedly close at hand; and by the pile she had placed the coffer. And there she stood, her arms folded under her mantle, her dark image seeming darker still as the moonlight whitened all the ground from which the image rose motionless. Margrave opened his coffer, the Veiled Woman did not aid him, and I watched in silence, while he as silently made his weird and wizard-like preparations.
While we were working, Ayesha had placed the fuel where the moonlight shone brightest on the flat area—a part of it already stacked for a fire, with the rest piled up haphazardly nearby; next to the pile, she had set the coffer down. There she stood, her arms crossed under her cloak, her dark figure appearing even more shadowy as the moonlight brightened everything around her. Margrave opened his coffer, the Veiled Woman didn’t help him, and I observed silently as he quietly made his strange and mystical preparations.
CHAPTER LXXXV.
On the ground a wide circle was traced by a small rod, tipped apparently with sponge saturated with some combustible naphtha-like fluid, so that a pale lambent flame followed the course of the rod as Margrave guided it, burning up the herbage over which it played, and leaving a distinct ring, like that which, in our lovely native fable-talk, we call the “Fairy’s Ring,” but yet more visible because marked in phosphorescent light. On the ring thus formed were placed twelve small lamps, fed with the fluid from the same vessel, and lighted by the same rod. The light emitted by the lamps was more vivid and brilliant than that which circled round the ring.
On the ground, a wide circle was drawn with a small rod that had a sponge tip soaked in some kind of flammable liquid resembling naphtha, creating a pale, flickering flame that followed the rod's movement. It burned away the grass underneath, leaving a clear ring, similar to what we refer to in our beautiful native stories as the “Fairy’s Ring,” but even more noticeable because it glowed with phosphorescent light. Inside the ring, twelve small lamps were placed, fed by the same liquid from the same container and lit by the same rod. The light from these lamps was brighter and more vivid than the glow surrounding the ring.
Within the circumference, and immediately round the woodpile, Margrave traced certain geometrical figures, in which—not without a shudder, that I overcame at once by a strong effort of will in murmuring to myself the name of “Lilian”—I recognized the interlaced triangles which my own hand, in the spell enforced on a sleep-walker, had described on the floor of the wizard’s pavilion. The figures were traced, like the circle, in flame, and at the point of each triangle (four in number) was placed a lamp, brilliant as those on the ring. This task performed, the caldron, based on an iron tripod, was placed on the wood-pile. And then the woman, before inactive and unheeding, slowly advanced, knelt by the pile, and lighted it. The dry wood crackled and the flame burst forth, licking the rims of the caldron with tongues of fire.
Within the circle, right around the woodpile, Margrave drew certain geometric shapes that—not without feeling a shiver, which I suppressed with a strong effort of will by whispering the name “Lilian” to myself—I recognized as interlaced triangles. My own hand had sketched these during a spell I cast on a sleepwalker on the floor of the wizard's pavilion. The shapes were drawn in fire, similar to the circle, and at the tip of each triangle (there were four in total) stood a lamp, bright like those on the ring. Once that was done, the cauldron, set on an iron tripod, was positioned on the woodpile. Then, the woman, who had been passive and indifferent, slowly moved forward, knelt by the pile, and set it ablaze. The dry wood crackled, and flames shot up, licking the edges of the cauldron with fiery tongues.
Margrave flung into the caldron the particles we had collected, poured over them first a liquid, colourless as water, from the largest of the vessels drawn from his coffer, and then, more sparingly, drops from small crystal phials, like the phials I had seen in the hand of Philip Derval.
Margrave tossed the particles we had gathered into the cauldron, first pouring a liquid, clear as water, from the largest of the vessels taken from his chest, and then, more cautiously, adding drops from small crystal vials, similar to the ones I had seen in Philip Derval's hand.
Having surmounted my first impulse of awe, I watched these proceedings, curious yet disdainful, as one who watches the mummeries of an enchanter on the stage.
Having overcome my initial feeling of awe, I observed these events, curious yet dismissive, like someone watching the tricks of a magician on stage.
“If,” thought I, “these are but artful devices to inebriate and fool my own imagination, my imagination is on its guard, and reason shall not, this time, sleep at her post!”
“If,” I thought, “if these are just clever tricks to intoxicate and deceive my imagination, my imagination is alert, and reason will not, this time, let its guard down!”
“And now,” said Margrave, “I consign to you the easy task by which you are to merit your share of the elixir. It is my task to feed and replenish the caldron; it is Ayesha’s to heed the fire, which must not for a moment relax in its measured and steady heat. Your task is the lightest of all it is but to renew from this vessel the fluid that burns in the lamps, and on the ring. Observe, the contents of the vessel must be thriftily husbanded; there is enough, but not more than enough, to sustain the light in the lamps, on the lines traced round the caldron, and on the farther ring, for six hours. The compounds dissolved in this fluid are scarce,—only obtainable in the East, and even in the East months might have passed before I could have increased my supply.
“And now,” said Margrave, “I’m giving you the easy task that will earn you your share of the elixir. My job is to feed and refill the cauldron; Ayesha’s job is to manage the fire, which must not ever lose its steady heat. Your job is the lightest of all—just to refill the fluid that fuels the lamps and the ring. Keep in mind, the contents of the vessel must be used carefully; there’s enough, but not more than enough, to keep the lamps lit, along the lines around the cauldron, and on the outer ring for six hours. The substances dissolved in this fluid are rare—only found in the East, and even there it might take months before I could boost my supply.”
“I had no months to waste. Replenish, then, the light only when it begins to flicker or fade. Take heed, above all, that no part of the outer ring—no, not an inch—and no lamp of the twelve, that are to its zodiac like stars, fade for one moment in darkness.”
"I had no time to waste. So, only refill the light when it starts to flicker or fade. Make sure, above all, that no part of the outer ring—not even an inch—and none of the twelve lamps, which are like stars to its zodiac, fade into darkness for even a moment."
I took the crystal vessel from his hand.
I grabbed the crystal container from his hand.
“The vessel is small,” said I, “and what is yet left of its contents is but scanty; whether its drops suffice to replenish the lights I cannot guess,—I can but obey your instructions. But, more important by far than the light to the lamps and the circle, which in Asia or Africa might scare away the wild beasts unknown to this land—more important than light to a lamp, is the strength to your frame, weak magician! What will support you through six weary hours of night-watch?”
“The vessel is small,” I said, “and what little is left of its contents is barely enough; I can’t say if its drops are enough to refill the lights—I can only follow your instructions. But far more important than the light for the lamps and the circle, which might scare away the wild beasts unknown to this land in Asia or Africa—more crucial than light to a lamp is the strength you need, weak magician! What will support you through six long hours of the night watch?”
“Hope,” answered Margrave, with a ray of his old dazzling style. “Hope! I shall live,—I shall live through the centuries!”
“Hope,” replied Margrave, with a flash of his old dazzling charm. “Hope! I will live—I will live through the centuries!”
CHAPTER LXXXVI.
One hour passed away; the fagots under the caldron burned clear in the sullen sultry air. The materials within began to seethe, and their colour, at first dull and turbid, changed into a pale-rose hue; from time to time the Veiled Woman replenished the fire, after she had done so reseating herself close by the pyre, with her head bowed over her knees, and her face hid under her veil.
One hour went by; the firewood under the cauldron burned brightly in the humid, oppressive air. The contents inside started to bubble, and at first, their color was dull and murky, but it shifted to a pale rose. Occasionally, the Veiled Woman added more wood to the fire, then sat back down near the pyre, her head bent over her knees, with her face hidden beneath her veil.
The lights in the lamps and along the ring and the triangles now began to pale. I resupplied their nutriment from the crystal vessel. As yet nothing strange startled my eye or my ear beyond the rim of the circle,—nothing audible, save, at a distance, the musical wheel-like click of the locusts, and, farther still, in the forest, the howl of the wild dogs, that never bark; nothing visible, but the trees and the mountain-range girding the plains silvered by the moon, and the arch of the cavern, the flush of wild blooms on its sides, and the gleam of dry bones on its floor, where the moonlight shot into the gloom.
The lights in the lamps and along the ring and the triangles started to fade. I replenished their energy from the crystal vessel. So far, nothing unusual caught my eye or my ear beyond the edge of the circle—nothing you could hear except, in the distance, the musical clicking of locusts, and even farther away, in the woods, the howling of wild dogs that never bark; nothing visible but the trees and the mountain range surrounding the plains lit by the moon, the arch of the cave, the splash of wild flowers on its walls, and the shine of dry bones on its floor, where the moonlight pierced the darkness.
The second hour passed like the first. I had taken my stand by the side of Margrave, watching with him the process at work in the caldron, when I felt the ground slightly vibrate beneath my feet, and, looking up, it seemed as if all the plains beyond the circle were heaving like the swell of the sea, and as if in the air itself there was a perceptible tremor.
The second hour went by just like the first. I stood next to Margrave, watching the process happening in the caldron, when I felt a slight vibration beneath my feet. Looking up, it appeared as if the plains outside the circle were undulating like ocean waves, and there seemed to be a noticeable tremor in the air itself.
I placed my hand on Margrave’s shoulder and whispered, “To me earth and air seem to vibrate. Do they seem to vibrate to you?”
I put my hand on Margrave’s shoulder and whispered, “It feels like the earth and air are vibrating to me. Do you feel it too?”
“I know not, I care not,” he answered impetuously. “The essence is bursting the shell that confined it. Here are my air and my earth! Trouble me not. Look to the circle! feed the lamps if they fail.”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care,” he replied impulsively. “The main thing is breaking free from what held it back. Here’s my air and my earth! Don’t bother me. Watch the circle! Feed the lamps if they go out.”
I passed by the Veiled Woman as I walked towards a place in the ring in which the flame was waning dim; and I whispered to her the same question which I had whispered to Margrave. She looked slowly around, and answered, “So is it before the Invisible make themselves visible! Did I not bid him forbear?” Her head again drooped on her breast, and her watch was again fixed on the fire.
I walked past the Veiled Woman as I headed toward a spot in the ring where the flame was fading. I whispered the same question to her that I had asked Margrave. She looked around slowly and replied, “That’s how it is before the Invisible show themselves! Didn’t I tell him to stop?” Her head drooped again onto her chest, and her gaze returned to the fire.
I advanced to the circle and stooped to replenish the light where it waned. As I did so, on my arm, which stretched somewhat beyond the line of the ring, I felt a shock like that of electricity. The arm fell to my side numbed and nerveless, and from my hand dropped, but within the ring, the vessel that contained the fluid. Recovering my surprise or my stun, hastily with the other hand I caught up the vessel, but some of the scanty liquid was already spilled on the sward; and I saw with a thrill of dismay, that contrasted indeed the tranquil indifference with which I had first undertaken my charge, how small a supply was now left.
I stepped into the circle and bent down to refuel the light where it was fading. As I did this, I felt a jolt like an electric shock on my arm, which extended slightly beyond the edge of the circle. My arm went limp and fell to my side, and the container holding the liquid dropped from my hand inside the circle. Once I shook off my shock, I quickly grabbed the vessel with my other hand, but some of the little liquid that was left had already spilled onto the grass. I felt a wave of panic as I realized how little liquid was left compared to the calm indifference I had when I first took on this task.
I went back to Margrave, and told him of the shock, and of its consequence in the waste of the liquid.
I went back to Margrave and told him about the shock and its result in the loss of the liquid.
“Beware,” said he, “that not a motion of the arm, not an inch of the foot, pass the verge of the ring; and if the fluid be thus unhappily stinted, reserve all that is left for the protecting circle and the twelve outer lamps! See how the Grand Work advances! how the hues in the caldron are glowing blood-red through the film on the surface!”
“Beware,” he said, “that no movement of the arm, not even an inch of the foot, crosses the edge of the ring; and if the liquid is unfortunately limited like this, save everything that’s left for the protective circle and the twelve outer lamps! Look how the Grand Work is progressing! See how the colors in the cauldron are glowing blood-red through the film on the surface!”
And now four hours of the six were gone; my arm had gradually recovered its strength. Neither the ring nor the lamps had again required replenishing; perhaps their light was exhausted less quickly, as it was no longer to be exposed to the rays of the intense Australian moon. Clouds had gathered over the sky, and though the moon gleamed at times in the gaps that they left in blue air, her beam was more hazy and dulled. The locusts no longer were heard in the grass, nor the howl of the dogs in the forest. Out of the circle, the stillness was profound.
And now four hours out of the six had passed; my arm had gradually gotten stronger. Neither the ring nor the lamps needed refilling again; maybe their light lasted longer since it was no longer exposed to the intense Australian moon. Clouds had gathered in the sky, and although the moon shone occasionally through the gaps they left in the blue air, her light was more hazy and muted. The locusts were no longer heard in the grass, nor the dogs howling in the forest. Outside the circle, the silence was complete.
And about this time I saw distinctly in the distance a vast Eye! It drew nearer and nearer, seeming to move from the ground at the height of some lofty giant. Its gaze riveted mine; my blood curdled in the blaze from its angry ball; and now as it advanced larger and larger, other Eyes, as if of giants in its train, grew out from the space in its rear; numbers on numbers, like the spearheads of some Eastern army, seen afar by pale warders of battlements doomed to the dust. My voice long refused an utterance to my awe; at length it burst forth shrill and loud,—
And around this time, I clearly saw a huge Eye in the distance! It got closer and closer, looking like it was rising from the ground at the height of some tall giant. Its gaze held me captive; I felt my blood run cold in the heat of its furious glare; and as it came closer and closer, other Eyes, as if belonging to giants behind it, appeared from the space behind it; countless numbers, like the tips of spears from some Eastern army, seen from afar by pale sentinels on walls destined for ruin. I struggled to find my voice in my fear; finally, it broke free, sharp and loud,—
“Look! look! Those terrible Eyes! Legions on legions! And hark! that tramp of numberless feet; they are not seen, but the hollows of earth echo the sound of their march!”
“Look! Look! Those terrifying Eyes! Legions upon legions! And listen! That sound of countless feet; they aren’t visible, but the ground reverberates with the sound of their march!”
Margrave, more than ever intent on the caldron, in which, from time to time, he kept dropping powders or essences drawn forth from his coffer, looked up, defyingly, fiercely.
Margrave, more focused than ever on the cauldron, where he occasionally added powders or essences taken from his chest, looked up, defiantly and fiercely.
“Ye come,” he said, in a low mutter, his once mighty voice sounding hollow and labouring, but fearless and firm,—“ye come,—not to conquer, vain rebels!—ye whose dark chief I struck down at my feet in the tomb where my spell had raised up the ghost of your first human master, the Chaldee! Earth and air have their armies still faithful to me, and still I remember the war-song that summons them up to confront you! Ayesha! Ayesha! recall the wild troth that we pledged amongst roses; recall the dread bond by which we united our sway over hosts that yet own thee as queen, though my sceptre is broken, my diadem reft from my brows!”
“Here you are,” he said, in a low murmur, his once powerful voice sounding weak and strained, but still fearless and strong—“here you are—not to conquer, foolish rebels!—you whose dark leader I defeated at my feet in the tomb where my spell raised the ghost of your first human master, the Chaldee! Earth and air still have their armies loyal to me, and I still remember the war song that calls them up to face you! Ayesha! Ayesha! remember the wild promise we made among the roses; remember the terrible bond that united our rule over the hosts that still recognize you as queen, even though my scepter is broken and my crown stripped from my head!”
The Veiled Woman rose at this adjuration. Her veil now was withdrawn, and the blaze of the fire between Margrave and herself flushed, as with the rosy bloom of youth, the grand beauty of her softened face. It was seen, detached as it were, from her dark-mantled form; seen through the mist of the vapours which rose from the caldron, framing it round like the clouds. that are yieldingly pierced by the light of the evening star.
The Veiled Woman stood at this request. Her veil was now lifted, and the glow of the fire between Margrave and her illuminated the exquisite beauty of her softening features, giving them a youthful warmth. It appeared almost separate from her dark-cloaked figure; visible through the haze of steam rising from the cauldron, surrounding her like clouds gently pierced by the light of the evening star.
Through the haze of the vapour came her voice, more musical, more plaintive than I had heard it before, but far softer, more tender; still in her foreign tongue; the words unknown to me, and yet their sense, perhaps, made intelligible by the love, which has one common language and one common look to all who have loved,—the love unmistakably heard in the loving tone, unmistakably seen in the loving face.
Through the haze of the mist, her voice came through, more melodic and sad than I had ever heard, but much softer and more gentle; still in her foreign language; the words were unfamiliar to me, yet their meaning was perhaps made clear by the love, which has a shared language and a common look for everyone who has loved—love that is unmistakably heard in the affectionate tone, unmistakably seen in the loving expression.
A moment or so more, and she had come round from the opposite side of the fire-pile, and bending over Margrave’s upturned brow, kissed it quietly, solemnly; and then her countenance grew fierce, her crest rose erect; it was the lioness protecting her young. She stretched forth her arm from the black mantle, athwart the pale front that now again bent over the caldron,—stretched it towards the haunted and hollow-sounding space beyond, in the gesture of one whose right hand has the sway of the sceptre. And then her voice stole on the air in the music of a chant, not loud, yet far-reaching; so thrilling, so sweet, and yet so solemn, that I could at once comprehend how legend united of old the spell of enchantment with the power of song. All that I recalled of the effects which, in the former time, Margrave’s strange chants had produced on the ear that they ravished and the thoughts they confused, was but as the wild bird’s imitative carol, compared to the depth and the art and the soul of the singer, whose voice seemed endowed with a charm to enthrall all the tribes of creation, though the language it used for that charm might to them, as to me, be unknown. As the song ceased, I heard, from behind, sounds like those I had heard in the spaces before me,—the tramp of invisible feet, the whir of invisible wings, as if armies were marching to aid against armies in march to destroy.
A moment later, she came around from the other side of the fire and, bending over Margrave’s upturned forehead, kissed it softly and seriously. Then her expression turned fierce, her posture straightened; she was like a lioness protecting her cubs. She extended her arm from her dark cloak, reaching across the pale face that was once again leaning over the cauldron, stretching it towards the haunted, echoing space beyond, as if her right hand held a scepter. Then her voice floated through the air in the melody of a chant, not loud, but powerful; so moving, so sweet, and yet so serious, that I could immediately understand how legends of old combined the magic of enchantment with the power of song. Everything I remembered about the effects of Margrave’s strange chants—how they captivated the ears and confused the mind—felt like a wild bird’s mimicry compared to the depth, skill, and soul of the singer, whose voice seemed to hold a magic that could captivate all the beings of creation, even though the language she used might be unknown to them, as it was to me. As the song ended, I heard, from behind me, sounds similar to those I had heard in the spaces before me—the march of invisible feet, the flutter of invisible wings—as if armies were advancing to support those marching to destroy.
“Look not in front nor around,” said Ayesha. “Look, like him, on the caldron below. The circle and the lamps are yet bright; I will tell you when the light again fails.”
“Don’t look ahead or around,” Ayesha said. “Look, like him, at the cauldron below. The circle and the lamps are still bright; I’ll let you know when the light goes out again.”
I dropped my eyes on the caldron.
I looked down at the pot.
“See,” whispered Margrave, “the sparkles at last begin to arise, and the rose-hues to deepen,—signs that we near the last process.”
“Look,” whispered Margrave, “the sparkles are finally starting to appear, and the rose colors are deepening—signs that we're getting close to the final step.”
CHAPTER LXXXVII.
The fifth hour had passed away, when Ayesha said to me, “Lo! the circle is fading; the lamps grow dim. Look now without fear on the space beyond; the eyes that appalled thee are again lost in air, as lightnings that fleet back into cloud.”
The fifth hour had passed, when Ayesha said to me, “Look! the circle is fading; the lamps are getting dim. Now look without fear at the space beyond; the eyes that terrified you are once again lost in the air, like lightning that quickly disappears back into the clouds.”
I looked up, and the spectres had vanished. The sky was tinged with sulphurous hues, the red and the black intermixed. I replenished the lamps and the ring in front, thriftily, heedfully; but when I came to the sixth lamp, not a drop in the vessel that fed them was left. In a vague dismay, I now looked round the half of the wide circle in rear of the two bended figures intent on the caldron. All along that disk the light was already broken, here and there flickering up, here and there dying down; the six lamps in that half of the circle still twinkled, but faintly, as stars shrinking fast from the dawn of day. But it was not the fading shine in that half of the magical ring which daunted my eye and quickened with terror the pulse of my heart; the Bushland beyond was on fire. From the background of the forest rose the flame and the smoke,—the smoke, there, still half smothering the flame. But along the width of the grasses and herbage, between the verge of the forest and the bed of the water-creek just below the raised platform from which I beheld the dread conflagration, the fire was advancing,—wave upon wave, clear and red against the columns of rock behind,—as the rush of a flood through the mists of some Alp crowned with lightnings.
I looked up, and the ghosts had disappeared. The sky was filled with sulfurous colors, red and black mixed together. I filled up the lamps and the ring in front, carefully and economically; but when I got to the sixth lamp, the container that fed them was empty. In a vague panic, I looked around the half of the wide circle behind the two bent figures focused on the cauldron. All along that area, the light was fading, flickering here and there, and dying down in spots; the six lamps in that half of the circle still sparkled, but weakly, like stars quickly vanishing with the coming dawn. But it was not the dimming light in that half of the magical ring that troubled my eyes and quickened my heartbeat with terror; the Bushland beyond was on fire. Flames and smoke rose from the depths of the forest—the smoke still partly smothering the flames. But across the expanse of grass and undergrowth, between the edge of the forest and the water creek just below the raised platform from which I watched the terrifying blaze, the fire was spreading—wave after wave, bright and red against the rocky columns behind—like a flood rushing through the mists of a lightning-crowned Alp.
Roused from my stun at the first sight of a danger not foreseen by the mind I had steeled against far rarer portents of Nature, I cared no more for the lamps and the circle. Hurrying back to Ayesha, I exclaimed: “The phantoms have gone from the spaces in front; but what incantation or spell can arrest the red march of the foe, speeding on in the rear! While we gazed on the caldron of life, behind us, unheeded, behold the Destroyer!”
Roused from my shock at the first sight of a danger I hadn’t anticipated, even though I had prepared myself for much rarer signs from Nature, I no longer cared about the lamps and the circle. I hurried back to Ayesha and exclaimed, “The phantoms have vanished from the spaces in front, but what magic or spell can stop the red march of the enemy closing in behind us! While we focused on the caldron of life, look behind, unheeded, the Destroyer is here!”
Ayesha looked, and made no reply; but, as by involuntary instinct, bowed her majestic head, then rearing it erect, placed herself yet more immediately before the wasted form of the young magician (he still bending over the caldron, and hearing me not in the absorption and hope of his watch),—placed herself before him, as the bird whose first care is her fledgling.
Ayesha looked and didn’t reply; but, almost instinctively, bowed her impressive head, then lifting it upright, positioned herself even closer in front of the frail form of the young magician (who was still bent over the cauldron, absorbed and hopeful, unaware of me)—she placed herself before him like a bird whose primary concern is her chick.
As we two there stood, fronting the deluge of fire, we heard Margrave behind us, murmuring low, “See the bubbles of light, how they sparkle and dance! I shall live, I shall live!” And his words scarcely died in our ears before, crash upon crash, came the fall of the age-long trees in the forest; and nearer, all near us, through the blazing grasses, the hiss of the serpents, the scream of the birds, and the bellow and tramp of the herds plunging wild through the billowy red of their pastures.
As we stood there facing the rain of fire, we heard Margrave behind us softly saying, “Look at the bubbles of light, how they sparkle and dance! I will survive, I will survive!” His words barely faded away before, one crash after another, the ancient trees in the forest fell; and closer, all around us, through the burning grass, we heard the hissing of snakes, the screaming of birds, and the roaring and galloping of the herds charging wildly through the rolling red of their pastures.
Ayesha now wound her arms around Margrave, and wrenched him, reluctant and struggling, from his watch over the seething caldron. In rebuke; of his angry exclamations, she pointed to the march of the fire, spoke in sorrowful tones a few words in her own language, and then, appealing to me in English, said,—
Ayesha wrapped her arms around Margrave, pulling him away from watching the bubbling pot, even though he was unwilling and fighting her off. In response to his angry protests, she pointed to the advancing flames, spoke a few sorrowful words in her own language, and then turned to me, saying in English, —
“I tell him that here the Spirits who oppose us have summoned a foe that is deaf to my voice, and—”
“I tell him that here the Spirits who are against us have called forth an enemy that can’t hear me, and—”
“And,” exclaimed Margrave, no longer with gasp and effort, but with the swell of a voice which drowned all the discords of terror and of agony sent forth from the Phlegethon burning below,—“and this witch, whom I trusted, is a vile slave and impostor, more desiring my death than my life. She thinks that in life I should scorn and forsake her, that in death I should die in her arms! Sorceress, avaunt! Art thou useless and powerless now when I need thee most? Go! Let the world be one funeral pyre! What to me is the world? My world is my life! Thou knowest that my last hope is here,—that all the strength left me this night will die down, like the lamps in the circle, unless the elixir restore it. Bold friend, spurn that sorceress away. Hours yet ere those flames can assail us! A few minutes more, and life to your Lilian and me!”
“And,” shouted Margrave, no longer gasping or struggling, but with a powerful voice that drowned out all the terror and agony coming from the burning Phlegethon below, “and this witch, whom I trusted, is a despicable slave and fraud, more eager for my death than for my life. She believes that if I live, I will reject and abandon her, and that in death I should die in her arms! Sorceress, begone! Are you useless and powerless now when I need you the most? Leave! Let the world be one big funeral pyre! What does the world matter to me? My world is my life! You know that my last hope is here—and that all the strength left in me tonight will fade away, like the lamps in the circle, unless the elixir brings it back. Brave friend, push that sorceress away. We have hours before those flames can reach us! Just a few more minutes, and life for your Lilian and me!”
Thus having said, Margrave turned from us, and cast into the caldron the last essence yet left in his empty coffer. Ayesha silently drew her black veil over her face; and turned, with the being she loved, from the terror he scorned, to share in the hope that he cherished.
Thus having said that, Margrave turned away from us and tossed the last essence left in his empty chest into the cauldron. Ayesha silently pulled her black veil over her face and turned with the one she loved, moving away from the fear he dismissed, to share in the hope he held dear.
Thus left alone, with my reason disenthralled, disenchanted, I surveyed more calmly the extent of the actual peril with which we were threatened, and the peril seemed less, so surveyed.
Thus left alone, with my mind unconfined and disillusioned, I looked more calmly at the extent of the real danger we faced, and the danger seemed smaller as I took it in.
It is true all the Bush-land behind, almost up to the bed of the creek, was on fire; but the grasses, through which the flame spread so rapidly, ceased at the opposite marge of the creek. Watery pools were still, at intervals, left in the bed of the creek, shining tremulous, like waves of fire, in the glare reflected from the burning land; and even where the water failed, the stony course of the exhausted rivulet was a barrier against the march of the conflagration. Thus, unless the wind, now still, should rise, and waft some sparks to the parched combustible herbage immediately around us, we were saved from the fire, and our work might yet be achieved.
It’s true that all the bushland behind us, almost reaching the creek bed, was on fire; however, the grass where the flames spread so quickly stopped at the other side of the creek. Still, there were watery pools left at intervals in the creek bed, shimmering like waves of fire in the light reflecting off the burning land. Even where the water was gone, the rocky path of the dried-up stream acted as a barrier against the fire’s advance. So, unless the wind, which was calm now, picked up and carried some sparks to the dry, flammable grass around us, we were safe from the fire, and we might still be able to finish our task.
I whispered to Ayesha the conclusion to which I came. “Thinkest thou,” she answered, without raising her mournful head, “that the Agencies of Nature are the movements of chance? The Spirits I invoked to his aid are leagued with the hosts that assail. A mightier than I am has doomed him!”
I whispered to Ayesha the conclusion I reached. “Do you really think,” she replied, not lifting her sad head, “that the forces of nature are just random events? The spirits I called for his help are working with the enemies that attack. Someone more powerful than I has condemned him!”
Scarcely had she uttered these words before Margrave exclaimed, “Behold how the Rose of the alchemist’s dream enlarges its blooms from the folds of its petals! I shall live, I shall live!”
Scarcely had she said these words before Margrave exclaimed, “Look how the Rose of the alchemist’s dream expands its blooms from the folds of its petals! I will live, I will live!”
I looked, and the liquid which glowed in the caldron had now taken a splendour that mocked all comparisons borrowed from the lustre of gems. In its prevalent colour it had, indeed, the dazzle and flash of the ruby; but out from the mass of the molten red, broke coruscations of all prismal hues, shooting, shifting, in a play that made the wavelets them selves seem living things, sensible of their joy. No longer was there scum or film upon the surface; only ever and anon a light rosy vapour floating up, and quick lost in the haggard, heavy, sulphurous air, hot with the conflagration rushing towards us from behind. And these coruscations formed, on the surface of the molten ruby, literally the shape of a Rose, its leaves made distinct in their outlines by sparks of emerald and diamond and sapphire.
I looked, and the liquid glowing in the cauldron now had a brilliance that outshone any comparison to the shine of gems. In its dominant color, it had the sparkle and shine of a ruby; but from the mass of the molten red, bursts of all rainbow colors shot out, shifting and dancing in a way that made the small waves seem like living things, aware of their joy. There was no longer any scum or film on the surface; only now and then a light pink vapor floated up, quickly disappearing in the grim, thick, sulfurous air, hot from the fire rushing towards us from behind. These flashes formed, on the surface of the molten ruby, the shape of a Rose, its leaves clearly outlined by sparks of emerald, diamond, and sapphire.
Even while gazing on this animated liquid lustre, a buoyant delight seemed infused into my senses; all terrors conceived before were annulled; the phantoms, whose armies had filled the wide spaces in front, were forgotten; the crash of the forest behind was unheard. In the reflection of that glory, Margrave’s wan cheek seemed already restored to the radiance it wore when I saw it first in the framework of blooms.
Even while looking at this shimmering, moving beauty, a joyful feeling flooded my senses; all the fears I had felt before disappeared; the ghosts that had filled the wide spaces in front were forgotten; the sounds of the forest behind were ignored. In the glow of that light, Margrave’s pale face looked like it was already back to the brightness it had when I first saw it framed by flowers.
As I gazed, thus enchanted, a cold hand touched my own.
As I stared, captivated, a cold hand brushed against mine.
“Hush!” whispered Ayesha, from the black veil, against which the rays of the caldron fell blunt, and absorbed into Dark. “Behind us, the light of the circle is extinct, but there we are guarded from all save the brutal and soulless destroyers. But before!—but before!—see, two of the lamps have died out!—see the blank of the gap in the ring Guard that breach,—there the demons will enter.”
“Hush!” whispered Ayesha, from behind the black veil, where the rays from the cauldron fell flat and faded into darkness. “Behind us, the light of the circle is gone, but we are safe from everything except the cruel and heartless destroyers. But look!—but look!—see, two of the lamps have gone out!—notice the empty spot in the ring Guard that shows that breach,—there the demons will come in.”
“Not a drop is there left in his vessel by which to replenish the lamps on the ring.”
“Not a drop is left in his container to refill the lamps on the ring.”
“Advance, then; thou hast still the light of the soul, and the demons may recoil before a soul that is dauntless and guiltless. If not, Three are lost!—as it is, One is doomed.”
“Go ahead; you still have the light of your soul, and the demons might back off in front of a fearless and innocent soul. If not, all three are lost!—as it stands, one is doomed.”
Thus adjured, silently, involuntarily, I passed from the Veiled Woman’s side, over the sere lines on the turf which had been traced by the triangles of light long since extinguished, and towards the verge of the circle. As I advanced, overhead rushed a dark cloud of wings,—birds dislodged from the forest on fire, and screaming, in dissonant terror, as they flew towards the farthermost mountains; close by my feet hissed and glided the snakes, driven forth from their blazing coverts, and glancing through the ring, unscared by its waning lamps; all undulating by me, bright-eyed and hissing, all made innocuous by fear,—even the terrible Death-adder, which I trampled on as I halted at the verge of the circle, did not turn to bite, but crept harmless away. I halted at the gap between the two dead lamps, and bowed my head to look again into the crystal vessel. Were there, indeed, no lingering drops yet left, if but to recruit the lamps for some priceless minutes more? As I thus stood, right into the gap between the two dead lamps strode a gigantic Foot. All the rest of the form was unseen; only, as volume after volume of smoke poured on from the burning land behind, it seemed as if one great column of vapour, eddying round, settled itself aloft from the circle, and that out from that column strode the giant Foot. And, as strode the Foot, so with it came, like the sound of its tread, a roll of muttered thunder.
Thus urged on, silently and involuntarily, I moved away from the Veiled Woman’s side, stepping over the dry lines on the turf that had been marked by the triangles of light long extinguished, and made my way toward the edge of the circle. As I walked, a dark swarm of wings rushed overhead—birds fleeing from the burning forest, screeching in chaos as they flew toward the distant mountains; nearby, snakes hissed and slithered around my feet, pushed out from their fiery hiding spots, gliding through the ring, unfazed by its fading lights; all undulating around me, bright-eyed and hissing, all rendered harmless by fear—even the deadly Death-adder, which I stepped on as I stopped at the edge of the circle, didn’t bite, but slinked away without harm. I paused at the opening between the two dead lamps, bowing my head to peer once more into the crystal vessel. Were there truly no drops left at all, even to keep the lamps lit for a few more priceless minutes? As I stood there, a gigantic Foot strode right into the gap between the two dead lamps. The rest of the figure was hidden; only, as volume after volume of smoke billowed in from the burning land behind, it appeared as though a massive column of vapor, swirling around, rose up from the circle, and from that column emerged the giant Foot. And as the Foot strode, it brought with it a rumbling sound, like the echo of its step, a low roll of thunder.
I recoiled, with a cry that rang loud through the lurid air.
I recoiled, letting out a scream that echoed through the eerie atmosphere.
“Courage!” said the voice of Ayesha. “Trembling soul, yield not an inch to the demon!”
“Be brave!” said Ayesha's voice. “Shaking soul, don't give an inch to the demon!”
At the charm, the wonderful charm, in the tone of the Veiled Woman’s voice, my will seemed to take a force more sublime than its own. I folded my arms on my breast, and stood as if rooted to the spot, confronting the column of smoke and the stride of the giant Foot. And the Foot halted, mute.
At the charm, the amazing charm, in the tone of the Veiled Woman’s voice, my will felt stronger than usual. I crossed my arms over my chest and stood there as if I was glued to the ground, facing the column of smoke and the giant Foot’s movement. And the Foot stopped, silent.
Again, in the momentary hush of that suspense, I heard a voice,—it was Margrave’s.
Again, in the brief silence of that suspense, I heard a voice—it was Margrave’s.
“The last hour expires, the work is accomplished! Come! come! Aid me to take the caldron from the fire; and quick!—or a drop may be wasted in vapour—the Elixir of Life from the caldron!”
“The last hour is up, the work is done! Come! Come! Help me take the pot off the fire; and hurry!—or a drop might evaporate—the Elixir of Life from the pot!”
At that cry I receded, and the Foot advanced.
At that shout, I stepped back, and the Foot moved forward.
And at that moment, suddenly, unawares, from behind, I was stricken down. Over me, as I lay, swept a whirlwind of trampling hoofs and glancing horns. The herds, in their flight from the burning pastures, had rushed over the bed of the watercourse, scaled the slopes of the banks. Snorting and bellowing, they plunged their blind way to the mountains. One cry alone, more wild than their own savage blare, pierced the reek through which the Brute Hurricane swept. At that cry of wrath and despair I struggled to rise, again dashed to earth by the hoofs and the horns. But was it the dream-like deceit of my reeling senses, or did I see that giant Foot stride past through the close-serried ranks of the maddening herds? Did I hear, distinct through all the huge uproar of animal terror, the roll of low thunder which followed the stride of that Foot?
And at that moment, suddenly and unexpectedly, I was knocked down from behind. As I lay there, a whirlwind of stomping hooves and flashing horns rushed over me. The herds, fleeing from the burning fields, charged across the dry riverbed and climbed up the banks. Snorting and bellowing, they blindly pushed their way toward the mountains. One cry, wilder than their own fierce noise, broke through the smoke that the Brute Hurricane swept away. At that cry of anger and hopelessness, I tried to get up, only to be thrown back down by the hooves and horns. But was it just a dream-like illusion from my spinning mind, or did I see that giant Foot move through the tightly packed ranks of the frenzied herds? Did I hear, clear above the massive chaos of animal fear, the rumble of low thunder that followed the Foot's stride?
CHAPTER LXXXVIII.
When my sense had recovered its shock, and my eyes looked dizzily round, the charge of the beasts had swept by; and of all the wild tribes which had invaded the magical circle, the only lingerer was the brown Death-adder, coiled close by the spot where my head had rested. Beside the extinguished lamps which the hoofs had confusedly scattered, the fire, arrested by the watercourse, had consumed the grasses that fed it, and there the plains stretched, black and desert as the Phlegroean Field of the Poet’s Hell. But the fire still raged in the forest beyond,—white flames, soaring up from the trunks of the tallest trees, and forming, through the sullen dark of the smoke-reek, innumerable pillars of fire, like the halls in the City of fiends.
When my senses returned to normal and my eyes dizzily scanned the area, the charge of the beasts had already passed by. Among all the wild tribes that had invaded the magical circle, the only one left was the brown Death-adder, coiled right where my head had been. Next to the extinguished lamps that had been scattered by hooves, the fire, stopped by the watercourse, had burned through the grasses that fueled it. The plains spread out, black and barren like the Phlegrean Fields from the Poet's Hell. But the fire still raged in the forest beyond—white flames soaring up from the trunks of the tallest trees, creating countless pillars of fire amidst the gloomy smoke, resembling the halls in the City of fiends.
Gathering myself up, I turned my eyes from the terrible pomp of the lurid forest, and looked fearfully down on the hoof-trampled sward for my two companions.
Gathering myself, I shifted my gaze away from the overwhelming spectacle of the vivid forest and anxiously glanced down at the beaten ground for my two companions.
I saw the dark image of Ayesha still seated, still bending, as I had seen it last. I saw a pale hand feebly grasping the rim of the magical caldron, which lay, hurled down from its tripod by the rush of the beasts, yards away from the dim fading embers of the scattered wood-pyre. I saw the faint writhings of a frail wasted frame, over which the Veiled Woman was bending. I saw, as I moved with bruised limbs to the place, close by the lips of the dying magician, the flash of the ruby-like essence spilled on the sward, and, meteor-like, sparkling up from the torn tufts of herbage.
I saw the dark figure of Ayesha still sitting there, still leaning, just like I had seen her last. I noticed a pale hand weakly grasping the edge of the magical cauldron, which had been knocked over from its stand by the rush of the beasts, lying several yards away from the faint, dying embers of the scattered wood-pyre. I observed the slight movements of a frail, wasted body, over which the Veiled Woman was leaning. As I limped over with my bruised limbs to where the dying magician lay, I caught a glimpse of the ruby-like essence spilled onto the ground, sparkling like a meteor as it shone from the torn bits of grass.
I now reached Margrave’s side. Bending over him as the Veiled Woman bent, and as I sought gently to raise him, he turned his face, fiercely faltering out, “Touch me not, rob me not! You share with me! Never! never! These glorious drops are all mine! Die all else! I will live! I will live!” Writhing himself from my pitying arms, he plunged his face amidst the beautiful, playful flame of the essence, as if to lap the elixir with lips scorched away from its intolerable burning. Suddenly, with a low shriek, he fell back, his face upturned to mine, and on that face unmistakably reigned Death!
I now reached Margrave’s side. Leaning over him like the Veiled Woman, as I gently tried to lift him, he turned his face, fiercely stammering, “Don’t touch me, don’t take from me! You share with me! Never! Never! These glorious drops are all mine! Let everything else die! I will live! I will live!” Thrusting himself from my compassionate arms, he buried his face in the beautiful, playful flame of the essence, as if to sip the elixir with lips scorched by its unbearable heat. Suddenly, with a low gasp, he fell back, his face turned toward mine, and on that face, unmistakably marked was Death!
Then Ayesha tenderly, silently, drew the young head to her lap, and it vanished from my sight behind her black veil.
Then Ayesha gently, without a word, pulled the young head to her lap, and it disappeared from my view behind her black veil.
I knelt beside her, murmuring some trite words of comfort; but she heeded me not, rocking herself to and fro as the mother who cradles a child to sleep. Soon the fast-flickering sparkles of the lost elixir died out on the grass; and with their last sportive diamond-like tremble of light, up, in all the suddenness of Australian day, rose the sun, lifting himself royally above the mountain-tops, and fronting the meaner blaze of the forest as a young king fronts his rebels. And as there, where the bush-fires had ravaged, all was a desert, so there, where their fury had not spread, all was a garden. Afar, at the foot of the mountains, the fugitive herds were grazing; the cranes, flocking back to the pools, renewed the strange grace of their gambols; and the great kingfisher, whose laugh, half in mirth, half in mockery, leads the choir that welcome the morn,—which in Europe is night,—alighted bold on the roof of the cavern, whose floors were still white with the bones of races, extinct before—so helpless through instincts, so royal through Soul—rose Man!
I knelt beside her, saying some clichéd words of comfort; but she didn’t pay attention to me, rocking back and forth like a mother soothing her child to sleep. Soon the quickly fading sparkles of the lost elixir disappeared from the grass; and with their last playful, diamond-like flicker of light, the sun rose suddenly, lifting itself majestically above the mountaintops and facing the dull blaze of the forest like a young king confronting his rebels. And just as the areas that had been ravaged by bushfires were barren, the places untouched by their fury were lush gardens. In the distance, at the base of the mountains, the wandering herds grazed; the cranes, returning to the pools, resumed their graceful dances; and the great kingfisher, whose laugh is half joyful, half mocking, led the chorus welcoming the morning—which, in Europe, is night—perched boldly on the roof of the cavern, whose floors were still white with the bones of races long gone—so helpless through instincts, so noble through Spirit—rose Humanity!
But there, on the ground where the dazzling elixir had wasted its virtues,—there the herbage already had a freshness of verdure which, amid the duller sward round it, was like an oasis of green in a desert. And there wild-flowers, whose chill hues the eye would have scarcely distinguished the day before, now glittered forth in blooms of unfamiliar beauty. Towards that spot were attracted myriads of happy insects, whose hum of intense joy was musically loud. But the form of the life-seeking sorcerer lay rigid and stark; blind to the bloom of the wild-flowers, deaf to the glee of the insects,—one hand still resting heavily on the rim of the emptied caldron, and the face still hid behind the Black Veil. What! the wondrous elixir, sought with such hope and well-nigh achieved through such dread, fleeting back to the earth from which its material was drawn, to give bloom, indeed,—but to herbs: joy indeed,—but to insects!
But there, on the ground where the amazing elixir had lost its powers, — there the grass already showed a freshness of green that stood out like an oasis in a desert against the duller turf around it. And there, wildflowers, whose subtle colors you could barely see the day before, now shone in blooms of unexpected beauty. Myriads of happy insects were drawn to that spot, their buzzing filled with pure joy and music. But the figure of the life-seeking sorcerer lay stiff and lifeless; blind to the wildflowers’ beauty, deaf to the delight of the insects — one hand still resting heavily on the edge of the empty cauldron, and his face still hidden behind the Black Veil. What? The marvelous elixir, sought with such hope and almost achieved through such fear, sinking back into the earth from which it was made, to bring flowers, yes — but only to the herbs; joy, indeed — but only to the insects!
And now, in the flash of the sun, slowly wound up the slopes that led to the circle the same barbaric procession which had sunk into the valley under the ray of the moon. The armed men came first, stalwart and tall, their vests brave with crimson and golden lace, their weapons gayly gleaming with holiday silver. After them, the Black Litter. As they came to the place, Ayesha, not raising her head, spoke to them in her own Eastern tongue. A wail was her answer. The armed men bounded forward, and the bearers left the litter.
And now, in the sunlight, the same wild procession that had descended into the valley under the moonlight slowly made its way up the slopes leading to the circle. The armed men led the way, strong and tall, their vests adorned with bright crimson and golden lace, their weapons shining with festive silver. Following them was the Black Litter. When they arrived, Ayesha, without lifting her head, spoke to them in her own Eastern language. The answer was a mournful cry. The armed men rushed forward, and the bearers set down the litter.
All gathered round the dead form with the face concealed under the black veil; all knelt, and all wept. Far in the distance, at the foot of the blue mountains, a crowd of the savage natives had risen up as if from the earth; they stood motionless, leaning on their clubs and spears, and looking towards the spot on which we were,—strangely thus brought into the landscape, as if they too, the wild dwellers on the verge which Humanity guards from the Brute, were among the mourners for the mysterious Child of mysterious Nature! And still, in the herbage, hummed the small insects, and still, from the cavern, laughed the great kingfisher. I said to Ayesha, “Farewell! your love mourns the dead, mine calls me to the living. You are now with your own people, they may console you; say if I can assist.”
Everyone gathered around the lifeless body, its face hidden beneath a black veil; everyone knelt and wept. In the distance, at the base of the blue mountains, a group of wild natives had appeared as if rising from the earth; they stood still, leaning on their clubs and spears, gazing at the place where we were—strangely woven into the scene, as if they too, the untamed inhabitants of the boundary that Humanity protects from the Beast, were among those mourning the enigmatic Child of enigmatic Nature! Meanwhile, the small insects buzzed in the grass, and from the cave, the great kingfisher laughed. I said to Ayesha, “Goodbye! Your love grieves for the dead, while mine calls me to the living. You are now with your own people; they can comfort you. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“There is no consolation for me! What mourner can be consoled if the dead die forever? Nothing for him is left but a grave; that grave shall be in the land where the song of Ayesha first lulled him to sleep. Thou assist Me,—thou, the wise man of Europe! From me ask assistance. What road wilt thou take to thy home?”
“There’s no comfort for me! What mourner can find peace if the dead are gone forever? All that’s left for him is a grave; that grave will be in the land where Ayesha’s song first lulled him to sleep. Help me—you, the wise man of Europe! Ask me for help. What path will you take to get home?”
“There is but one road known to me through the maze of the solitude,—that which we took to this upland.”
“There's only one path I know through the maze of solitude— the one we took to this highland.”
“On that road Death lurks, and awaits thee! Blind dupe, couldst thou think that if the grand secret of life had been won, he whose head rests on my lap would have yielded thee one petty drop of the essence which had filched from his store of life but a moment? Me, who so loved and so cherished him,—me he would have doomed to the pitiless cord of my servant, the Strangler, if my death could have lengthened a hair-breadth the span of his being. But what matters to me his crime or his madness? I loved him! I loved him!”
“On that road, Death is waiting for you! Naive fool, could you really think that if the ultimate secret of life had been discovered, the one whose head is resting on my lap would have given you even a single drop of the essence that was taken from his life just moments ago? Me, who loved and cherished him so much—he would have condemned me to the merciless hands of my servant, the Strangler, if my death could have extended his life even a little. But what does his crime or madness matter to me? I loved him! I loved him!”
She bowed her veiled head lower and lower; perhaps, under the veil, her lips kissed the lips of the dead. Then she said whisperingly,—
She lowered her veiled head more and more; maybe, beneath the veil, her lips brushed against the lips of the dead. Then she whispered,—
“Juma the Strangler, whose word never failed to his master, whose prey never slipped from his snare, waits thy step on the road to thy home! But thy death cannot now profit the dead, the beloved. And thou hast had pity for him who took but thine aid to design thy destruction. His life is lost, thine is saved.”
“Juma the Strangler, who always delivered on his promises to his master, and whose prey never escaped his trap, is waiting for you on the road to your home! But your death won't benefit the dead, the ones you loved. And you showed compassion for the one who only used you to plot your downfall. His life is gone, and yours is spared.”
She spoke no more in the tongue that I could interpret. She spoke, in the language unknown, a few murmured words to her swarthy attendants; then the armed men, still weeping, rose, and made a dumb sign to me to go with them. I understood by the sign that Ayesha had told them to guard me on my way; but she gave no reply to my parting thanks.
She no longer spoke in a language I could understand. Instead, she murmured a few words in an unknown tongue to her dark-skinned attendants; then the armed men, still crying, stood up and silently gestured for me to follow them. I gathered from the gesture that Ayesha had instructed them to protect me on my way, but she did not respond to my farewell thanks.
CHAPTER LXXXIX.
I descended into the valley; the armed men followed. The path, on that side of the watercourse not reached by the flames, wound through meadows still green, or amidst groves still unscathed. As a turning in the way brought in front of my sight the place I had left behind, I beheld the black litter creeping down the descent, with its curtains closed, and the Veiled Woman walking by its side. But soon the funeral procession was lost to my eyes, and the thoughts that it roused were erased. The waves in man’s brain are like those of the sea, rushing on, rushing over the wrecks of the vessels that rode on their surface, to sink, after storm, in their deeps. One thought cast forth into the future now mastered all in the past: “Was Lilian living still?” Absorbed in the gloom of that thought, hurried on by the goad that my heart, in its tortured impatience, gave to my footstep, I outstripped the slow stride of the armed men, and, midway between the place I had left and the home which I sped to, came, far in advance of my guards, into the thicket in which the bushmen had started up in my path on the night that Lilian had watched for my coming. The earth at my feet was rife with creeping plants and many-coloured flowers, the sky overhead was half-hid by motionless pines. Suddenly, whether crawling out from the herbage, or dropping down from the trees, by my side stood the white-robed and skeleton form,—Ayesha’s attendant, the Strangler.
I went down into the valley, and the armed men followed me. The path on the side of the water that hadn’t been touched by the flames twisted through meadows that were still green and groves that were still untouched. As a turn in the path revealed the place I had just left, I saw the black carriage making its way down the slope, with its curtains drawn, and the Veiled Woman walking beside it. But soon, the funeral procession faded from my sight, and the thoughts it stirred up faded away as well. The waves in a person’s mind are like those of the sea, crashing and moving over the wrecks of the ships that once floated on their surface, only to sink in the depths after the storm. One thought, thrown out into the future, now dominated all that was in the past: “Is Lilian still alive?” Caught up in the darkness of that thought and driven forward by the urgency my heart felt in its tortured impatience, I outpaced the slow pace of the armed men. Halfway between where I had left and the home I was rushing to, I found myself far ahead of my guards, entering the thicket where the bushmen had ambushed me the night Lilian waited for me. The ground at my feet was alive with creeping plants and colorful flowers, and the sky above was partially hidden by still pine trees. Suddenly, whether crawling out from the underbrush or dropping down from the trees, there beside me stood the white-robed, skeletal figure—Ayesha’s attendant, the Strangler.
I sprang from him shuddering, then halted and faced him. The hideous creature crept towards me, cringing and fawning, making signs of humble good-will and servile obeisance. Again I recoiled,—wrathfully, loathingly; turned my face homeward, and fled on. I thought I had baffled his chase, when, just at the mouth of the thicket, he dropped from a bough in my path close behind me. Before I could turn, some dark muffling substance fell between my sight and the sun, and I felt a fierce strain at my throat. But the words of Ayesha had warned me; with one rapid hand I seized the noose before it could tighten too closely, with the other I tore the bandage away from my eyes, and, wheeling round on the dastardly foe, struck him down with one spurn of my foot. His hand, as he fell, relaxed its hold on the noose; I freed my throat from the knot, and sprang from the copse into the broad sunlit plain. I saw no more of the armed men or the Strangler. Panting and breathless, I paused at last before the fence, fragrant with blossoms, that divided my home from the solitude.
I jumped away from him, trembling, then stopped and faced him. The ugly creature crawled towards me, cowering and fawning, making gestures of goodwill and submissive respect. Again I recoiled—angry and disgusted; turned to head home, and ran on. I thought I had escaped his pursuit when, just at the edge of the thicket, he dropped down from a branch right in my path behind me. Before I could react, something dark and heavy fell between my eyes and the sun, and I felt a strong pressure on my throat. But Ayesha’s words had warned me; with one quick hand, I grabbed the noose before it could tighten too much, and with the other, I ripped the blindfold off my eyes, spinning around to confront the cowardly enemy, I kicked him down with a single push of my foot. His hand loosened its grip on the noose as he fell; I freed my throat from the knot and jumped from the thicket into the open sunlit field. I didn't see the armed men or the Strangler anymore. Panting and out of breath, I finally paused in front of the fence, fragrant with blossoms, that separated my home from the quiet.
The windows of Lilian’s room were darkened; all within the house seemed still.
The windows of Lilian’s room were covered; everything in the house felt quiet.
Darkened and silenced Home! with the light and sounds of the jocund day all around it. Was there yet hope in the Universe for me? All to which I had trusted Hope had broken down! The anchors I had forged for her hold in the beds of the ocean, her stay from the drifts of the storm, had snapped like the reeds which pierce the side that leans on the barb of their points, and confides in the strength of their stems. No hope in the baffled resources of recognized knowledge! No hope in the daring adventures of Mind into regions unknown; vain alike the calm lore of the practised physician, and the magical arts of the fated Enchanter! I had fled from the commonplace teachings of Nature, to explore in her Shadow-land marvels at variance with reason. Made brave by the grandeur of love, I had opposed without quailing the stride of the Demon, and by hope, when fruition seemed nearest, had been trodden into dust by the hoofs of the beast! And yet, all the while, I had scorned, as a dream more wild than the word of a sorcerer, the hope that the old man and the child, the wise and the ignorant, took from their souls as inborn. Man and fiend had alike failed a mind, not ignoble, not skilless, not abjectly craven; alike failed a heart not feeble and selfish, not dead to the hero’s devotion, willing to shed every drop of its blood for a something more dear than an animal’s life for itself! What remained—what remained for man’s hope?—man’s mind and man’s heart thus exhausting their all with no other result but despair! What remained but the mystery of mysteries, so clear to the sunrise of childhood, the sunset of age, only dimmed by the clouds which collect round the noon of our manhood? Where yet was Hope found? In the soul; in its every-day impulse to supplicate comfort and light, from the Giver of soul, wherever the heart is afflicted, the mind is obscured.
Home was dark and silent, while the joyful light and sounds of the day surrounded it. Was there still hope for me in the Universe? Everything I had relied on Hope had fallen apart! The anchors I had forged to hold her in place, to protect her from the storm's chaos, had snapped like reeds that pierce when they lean against sharp points and trust in their own strength. There was no hope in the exhausted resources of experienced knowledge! No hope in the daring adventures of the mind into unknown territories; just as useless was the calm wisdom of the practiced doctor and the magical skills of a doomed sorcerer! I had run away from Nature's ordinary lessons to explore her Shadow-land, seeking wonders that defied reason. Inspired by the greatness of love, I had bravely confronted the Demon, and by hope, just as fulfillment seemed close, I had been crushed to dust by the beast's hooves! And yet, throughout it all, I had dismissed the idea of hope, as if it were a dream crazier than a sorcerer's words, even though the old man and the child, the wise and the ignorant, seemed to draw it from their souls as if it were innate. Both man and monster had failed to reach a mind that was not unworthy, not skill-less, and not painfully cowardly; both had failed a heart that wasn’t weak and selfish, not indifferent to a hero's devotion, willing to give every drop of its blood for something more precious than mere survival! What was left—what was left for man's hope?—with man's mind and heart using up everything only to land in despair! What remained except the mystery of all mysteries, clear in the morning of childhood, the evening of old age, only obscured by the clouds that gather around the noon of our adulthood? Where could Hope still be found? In the soul; in its daily urge to seek comfort and light from the Giver of life, whenever the heart is troubled and the mind is clouded.
Then the words of Ayesha rushed over me: “What mourner can be consoled, if the Dead die forever?” Through every pulse of my frame throbbed that dread question. All Nature around seemed to murmur it. And suddenly, as by a flash from heaven, the grand truth in Faber’s grand reasoning shone on me, and lighted up all, within and without. Man alone, of all earthly creatures, asks, “Can the Dead die forever?” and the instinct that urges the question is God’s answer to man! No instinct is given in vain.
Then Ayesha's words hit me hard: “What mourner can find comfort if the Dead die forever?” That terrifying question pulsed through every part of me. Nature itself seemed to echo it. And then, like a flash from above, the profound truth in Faber's reasoning illuminated my mind, brightening everything around me. Only humans, among all living beings, ask, “Can the Dead die forever?” and the instinct that drives this question is God’s response to humanity! No instinct is given without purpose.
And born with the instinct of soul is the instinct that leads the soul from the seen to the unseen, from time to eternity, from the torrent that foams towards the Ocean of Death, to the source of its stream, far aloft from the Ocean.
And born with the instinct of the soul is the instinct that guides the soul from the visible to the invisible, from time to eternity, from the rushing waters heading toward the Ocean of Death, to the source of its stream, high above the Ocean.
“Know thyself,” said the Pythian of old. “That precept descended from Heaven.” Know thyself! Is that maxim wise? If so, know thy soul. But never yet did man come to the thorough conviction of soul but what he acknowledged the sovereign necessity of prayer. In my awe, in my rapture, all my thoughts seemed enlarged and illumined and exalted. I prayed,—all my soul seemed one prayer. All my past, with its pride and presumption and folly, grew distinct as the form of a penitent, kneeling for pardon before setting forth on the pilgrimage vowed to a shrine. And, sure now, in the deeps of a soul first revealed to myself, that the Dead do not die forever, my human love soared beyond its brief trial of terror and sorrow. Daring not to ask from Heaven’s wisdom that Lilian, for my sake, might not yet pass away from the earth, I prayed that my soul might be fitted to bear with submission whatever my Maker might ordain. And if surviving her—without whom no beam from yon material sun could ever warm into joy a morrow in human life—so to guide my steps that they might rejoin her at last, and, in rejoining, regain forever!
“Know yourself,” said the Oracle of Delphi long ago. “That advice came from Heaven.” Know yourself! Is that saying wise? If so, know your soul. But every time a person truly understands their soul, they realize the absolute need for prayer. In my awe, in my joy, all my thoughts felt expanded, illuminated, and elevated. I prayed—my entire soul felt like one big prayer. All my past, with its pride, arrogance, and foolishness, became clear like a penitent figure kneeling for forgiveness before starting a journey to a sacred place. And surely now, deep within a soul I’ve just discovered, I know that the Dead do not die forever. My human love rose above its temporary trials of fear and sorrow. I didn’t dare to ask Heaven’s wisdom to spare Lilian from leaving this world for my sake; instead, I prayed that my soul would be ready to accept whatever my Creator had planned. And if I were to survive her—without whom no ray from that material sun could ever bring joy to another day in this life—please guide my steps so that I might reunite with her at last and, in reuniting, regain her forever!
How trivial now became the weird riddle that, a little while before, had been clothed in so solemn an awe! What mattered it to the vast interests involved in the clear recognition of Soul and Hereafter, whether or not my bodily sense, for a moment, obscured the face of the Nature I should one day behold as a spirit? Doubtless the sights and the sounds which had haunted the last gloomy night, the calm reason of Faber would strip of their magical seemings; the Eyes in the space and the Foot in the circle might be those of no terrible Demons, but of the wild’s savage children whom I had seen, halting, curious and mute, in the light of the morning. The tremor of the ground (if not, as heretofore, explicable by the illusory impression of my own treacherous senses) might be but the natural effect of elements struggling yet under a soil unmistakably charred by volcanoes. The luminous atoms dissolved in the caldron might as little be fraught with a vital elixir as are the splendours of naphtha or phosphor. As it was, the weird rite had no magic result. The magician was not rent limb from limb by the fiends. By causes as natural as ever extinguished life’s spark in the frail lamp of clay, he had died out of sight—under the black veil.
How trivial the strange riddle now seemed, which not long ago had felt so heavy with meaning! What did it matter to the huge issues tied to understanding the Soul and the Afterlife, whether my physical senses temporarily hid the face of the Nature I would one day see as a spirit? Surely, the sights and sounds that haunted the last dark night, reasoned Faber would strip of their mystical qualities; the Eyes in the sky and the Foot in the circle might just belong to the wild children I had seen, stopping, curious and silent, in the morning light. The tremor in the ground (if it wasn’t, as before, just an illusion from my unreliable senses) could simply be the natural result of elements still struggling beneath soil unmistakably scorched by volcanoes. The glowing particles in the cauldron might not hold any life-giving essence, just like the shines of naphtha or phosphorus. As it turned out, the bizarre ritual had no magical outcome. The magician wasn't torn apart by demons. He had simply vanished from sight—under the dark veil—by causes as natural as those that have always extinguished life’s flame in a fragile clay lamp.
What mattered henceforth to Faith, in its far grander questions and answers, whether Reason, in Faber, or Fancy, in me, supplied the more probable guess at a hieroglyph which, if construed aright, was but a word of small mark in the mystical language of Nature? If all the arts of enchantment recorded by Fable were attested by facts which Sages were forced to acknowledge, Sages would sooner or later find some cause for such portents—not supernatural. But what Sage, without cause supernatural, both without and within him, can guess at the wonders he views in the growth of a blade of grass, or the tints on an insect’s wing? Whatever art Man can achieve in his progress through time, Man’s reason, in time, can suffice to explain. But the wonders of God? These belong to the Infinite; and these, O Immortal! will but develop new wonder on wonder, though thy sight be a spirit’s, and thy leisure to track and to solve an eternity.
What mattered from now on to Faith, in its much bigger questions and answers, was whether Reason, in Faber, or Fancy, in me, provided the more likely interpretation of a symbol that, if understood correctly, was just a minor element in the mystical language of Nature. If all the magical arts described in myths were confirmed by facts that Wise People had to accept, they would eventually find a non-supernatural explanation for such signs. But what Wise Person, without a supernatural reason both outside and inside him, can comprehend the wonders he sees in the growth of a blade of grass or the colors on an insect’s wing? Whatever skill Humanity can achieve over time, Humanity's reason can eventually explain. But the wonders of God? Those belong to the Infinite; and these, O Immortal! will only reveal new wonders upon wonders, even if your vision is that of a spirit, and your time is limitless to explore and understand eternity.
As I raised my face from my clasped hands, my eyes fell full upon a form standing in the open doorway. There, where on the night in which Lilian’s long struggle for reason and life had begun, the Luminous Shadow had been beheld in the doubtful light of a dying moon and a yet hazy dawn; there, on the threshold, gathering round her bright locks the aureole of the glorious sun, stood Amy, the blessed child! And as I gazed, drawing nearer and nearer to the silenced house, and that Image of Peace on its threshold, I felt that Hope met me at the door,—Hope in the child’s steadfast eyes, Hope in the child’s welcoming smile!
As I lifted my face from my hands, my eyes landed on a figure standing in the open doorway. There, where on the night Lilian’s long battle for reason and life had begun, the Luminous Shadow had been seen in the uncertain light of a fading moon and a still hazy dawn; there, on the threshold, gathering the bright rays of the glorious sun around her hair, stood Amy, the blessed child! And as I stared, approaching the quiet house and that Image of Peace on its doorstep, I felt that Hope was waiting for me at the door—Hope in the child’s steady eyes, Hope in the child’s welcoming smile!
“I was at watch for you,” whispered Amy. “All is well.”
“I was waiting for you,” whispered Amy. “Everything is fine.”
“She lives still—she lives! Thank God! thank God!”
“She’s still alive—she’s alive! Thank God! Thank God!”
“She lives,—she will recover!” said another voice, as my head sunk on Faber’s shoulder. “For some hours in the night her sleep was disturbed, convulsed. I feared, then, the worst. Suddenly, just before the dawn, she called out aloud, still in sleep,—
“She’s alive—she’ll get better!” said another voice as my head rested on Faber’s shoulder. “For a few hours during the night, her sleep was restless and shaky. I was really worried then. Suddenly, just before dawn, she cried out loudly, still asleep—
“‘The cold and dark shadow has passed away from me and from Allen,—passed away from us both forever!’
“‘The cold and dark shadow is gone from me and from Allen—gone from us both forever!’”
“And from that moment the fever left her; the breathing became soft, the pulse steady, and the colour stole gradually back to her cheek. The crisis is past. Nature’s benign Disposer has permitted Nature to restore your life’s gentle partner, heart to heart, mind to mind—”
“And from that moment the fever left her; her breathing became calm, her pulse steady, and color slowly returned to her cheeks. The crisis is over. Nature’s kind hand has allowed Nature to bring back your gentle partner in life, heart to heart, mind to mind—”
“And soul to soul,” I cried, in my solemn joy. “Above as below, soul to soul!” Then, at a sign from Faber, the child took me by the hand and led me up the stairs into Lilian’s room.
“And soul to soul,” I exclaimed, filled with deep joy. “Above and below, soul to soul!” Then, at a nod from Faber, the child took my hand and led me up the stairs into Lilian’s room.
Again those clear arms closed around me in wife-like and holy love, and those true lips kissed away my tears,—even as now, at the distance of years from that happy morn, while I write the last words of this Strange Story, the same faithful arms close around me, the same tender lips kiss away my tears.
Again those clear arms wrapped around me in a loving and sacred way, and those genuine lips kissed away my tears—just like now, years later from that joyful morning, as I write the final words of this Strange Story, the same loyal arms hold me tight, the same gentle lips dry my tears.
THE END.
THE END.
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