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A MODERN INSTANCE
By William Dean Howells
CONTENTS
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION.
Mr. Howells has written a long series of poems, novels, sketches, stories, and essays, and has been perhaps the most continuous worker in the literary art among American writers. He was born at Martin's Perry, Belmont County, Ohio, March 1, 1837, and the experiences of his early life have been delightfully told by himself in A Boy's Town, My Year in a Log Cabin, and My Literary Passions. These books, which seem like pastimes in the midst of Howells's serious work, are likely to live long, not only as playful autobiographic records, but as vivid pictures of life in the middle west in the middle of the nineteenth century. The boy lived in a home where frugality was the law of economy, but where high ideals of noble living were cheerfully maintained, and the very occupations of the household tended to stimulate literary activity. He read voraciously and with an instinctive scent for what was great and permanent in literature, and in his father's printing-office learned to set type, and soon to make contributions to the local journals. He went to the state Capitol to report the proceedings of the legislature, and before he was twenty-two had become news editor of the State Journal of Columbus, Ohio.
Mr. Howells has written a long series of poems, novels, sketches, stories, and essays, and he may be one of the most consistent writers in American literature. He was born in Martin's Ferry, Belmont County, Ohio, on March 1, 1837, and he has charmingly shared the experiences of his early life in A Boy's Town, My Year in a Log Cabin, and My Literary Passions. These books, which seem like leisure activities amid Howells's serious work, are likely to endure as not only playful autobiographical records but also as vibrant snapshots of life in the Midwest during the mid-nineteenth century. The boy grew up in a home where frugality defined their finances, yet high ideals of noble living were happily upheld, and the very tasks of the household encouraged literary pursuits. He read widely and had an instinctive ability to recognize what was great and lasting in literature. In his father's printing office, he learned to set type and soon began contributing to local journals. He went to the state Capitol to report on the activities of the legislature, and by the time he was twenty-two, he had become the news editor of the State Journal in Columbus, Ohio.
But at the same time he had given clear intimations of his literary skill, and had contributed several poems to the Atlantic Monthly. His introduction to literature was in the stirring days just before the war for the Union, and he had a generous enthusiasm for the great principles which were then at stake. Yet the political leaven chiefly caused the bread he was baking to rise, and his native genius was distinctly for work in creative literature. His contribution to the political writing of the day, besides his newspaper work, was a small campaign life of Lincoln; and shortly after the incoming of the first Republican administration he received the appointment of consul at Venice.
But at the same time, he had clearly shown his literary talent and had contributed several poems to the Atlantic Monthly. He began his literary career during the exciting days just before the Civil War, and he had a passionate enthusiasm for the significant principles that were at stake. However, it was primarily the political atmosphere that helped his writing develop, while his real talent was for creative literature. His involvement in political writing, aside from his newspaper work, was a brief campaign biography of Lincoln; and shortly after the first Republican administration took office, he was appointed consul in Venice.
At Venice he remained from 1861 to 1865, and these years may fairly be taken as standing for his university training. He carried with him to Europe some conversance with French, German, Spanish, and Italian, and an insatiable thirst for literature in these, languages. Naturally now he concentrated his attention on the Italian language and literature, but after all he was not made for a microscopic or encyclopaedic scholar, least of all for a pedant. What he was looking for in literature, though he scarcely so stated it to himself at the time, was human life, and it was this first-hand acquaintance he was acquiring with life in another circumstance that constituted his real training in literature. To pass from Ohio straight to Italy, with the merest alighting by the way in New York and Boston, was to be transported from one world to another; but he carried with him a mind which had already become naturalized in the large world of history and men through the literature in which he had steeped his mind. No one can read the record of the books he had revelled in, and observe the agility with which he was absorbed, successively, in books of greatly varying character, without perceiving how wide open were the windows of his mind; and as the light streamed in from all these heavens, so the inmate looked out with unaffected interest on the views spread before him.
He stayed in Venice from 1861 to 1865, and those years can rightly be seen as his university experience. He brought some knowledge of French, German, Spanish, and Italian with him to Europe, along with an unquenchable desire for literature in those languages. Naturally, he focused on Italian language and literature, but he wasn’t meant to be a meticulous or all-knowing scholar, and definitely not a pedant. What he was really searching for in literature—though he hardly articulated it to himself at the time—was human life, and the genuine familiarity he gained with life in a different setting was his true education in literature. Moving straight from Ohio to Italy, with just brief stops in New York and Boston, felt like being transported to another world; yet he carried a mind that had already become ingrained in the broader world of history and people through the literature that had shaped him. Anyone who reads about the books he enjoyed and notices how quickly he immersed himself in various genres can see just how open his mind was; as the light poured in from all these different sources, he looked out with genuine curiosity at the vistas before him.
Thus it was that Italy and Venice in particular afforded him at once the greatest delight and also the surest test of his growing power. The swift observation he had shown in literature became an equally rapid survey of all these novel forms before him. The old life embedded in this historic country became the book whose leaves he turned, but he looked with the greatest interest and most sympathetic scrutiny on that which passed before his eyes. It was novel, it was quaint, it was filled with curious, unexpected betrayals of human nature, but it was above all real, actual, a thing to be touched and as it were fondled by hands that were deft by nature and were quickly becoming more skilful by use. Mr. Howells began to write letters home which were printed in the Boston Daily Advertiser, and grew easily into a book which still remains in the minds of many of his readers the freshest of all his writings, Venetian Life. This was followed shortly by Italian Journeys, in which Mr. Howells gathered his observations made in going from place to place in Italy. A good many years later, after returning to the country of his affection, he wrote a third book of a similar character under the title of Tuscan Cities. But his use of Italy in literature was not confined to books of travels; he made and published studies of Italian literature, and he wove the life of the country into fiction in a charming manner. Illustrations may be found in A Foregone Conclusion, one of the happiest of his novels, whose scene is laid in Venice, in The Lady of the Aroostook, and in many slight sketches.
So it was that Italy, and especially Venice, brought him immense joy and also served as a true test of his growing influence. The quick insight he had shown in literature transformed into a swift exploration of all the new experiences around him. The ancient life embedded in this historic country became the book he was eager to read, but he observed with great interest and a keen eye everything that unfolded before him. It was fresh, it was unique, it was full of surprising revelations about human nature, but above all, it was real—something tangible, almost something to be cherished by hands that were naturally skilled and were quickly becoming adept through practice. Mr. Howells started writing letters home that were published in the Boston Daily Advertiser, which easily turned into a book that many of his readers still consider his most vibrant work, Venetian Life. This was soon followed by Italian Journeys, where Mr. Howells compiled his observations from traveling around Italy. Many years later, after returning to the country he loved, he wrote a third book of a similar nature titled Tuscan Cities. However, his engagement with Italy in literature wasn't limited to travel books; he also created and published analyses of Italian literature, and he beautifully integrated the life of the country into fiction. Examples can be found in A Foregone Conclusion, one of his most delightful novels set in Venice, in The Lady of the Aroostook, and in many brief sketches.
When Mr. Howells returned to America at the close of his term as consul, he found warm friends whom he had made through his writings. He served for a short time on the staff of The Nation, of New York, and then was invited to Boston to take the position of assistant editor of the Atlantic Monthly under Mr. Fields. This was in 1866, and five years later, on the retirement of Mr. Fields, he became editor, and remained in the position until 1881, living during this period in Cambridge. He was not only editor of the magazine; he was really its chief contributor. Any one who takes the trouble to examine the pages of the Atlantic Index will see how far his work outnumbers in titles that of all other contributors, and the range of his work was great.
When Mr. Howells returned to America at the end of his term as consul, he found welcoming friends he had made through his writing. He worked briefly on the staff of The Nation in New York, and then he was invited to Boston to become the assistant editor of the Atlantic Monthly under Mr. Fields. This was in 1866, and five years later, after Mr. Fields retired, he became the editor and held that position until 1881, living in Cambridge during that time. He wasn't just the magazine's editor; he was actually its main contributor. Anyone who takes the time to look at the pages of the Atlantic Index will see how much his work surpasses the titles of all other contributors, and his range of work was extensive.
He wrote a large proportion of the reviews of books, which in those days constituted a marked feature of the magazine. These reviews were conscientiously written, and showed penetration and justice, but they had besides a felicitous and playful touch which rendered them delightful reading, even though one knew little or cared little for the book reviewed. Sometimes, though not often, he wrote poems, but readers soon learned to look with eagerness for a kind of writing which seemed almost more individual with him than any other form of writing. We mean the humorous sketches of every-day life, in which he took scenes of the commonest sort and drew from them an inherent life which most never suspected, yet confessed the moment he disclosed it. He would do such a common-place thing as take an excursion down the harbor, or even a ride to town in a horse-car, and come back to turn his experience into a piece of genuine literature. A number of these pieces were collected into a volume entitled Suburban Sketches.
He wrote a significant number of the book reviews that were a standout feature of the magazine back in the day. These reviews were carefully crafted and displayed insight and fairness, but they also had a witty and playful style that made them enjoyable to read, even if one knew little or nothing about the book being reviewed. Occasionally, though not frequently, he wrote poems, but readers quickly anticipated his unique style of writing that seemed more personal than any other type. We're referring to the humorous sketches of everyday life, where he took the most ordinary scenes and revealed a deeper truth that most people never realized, yet acknowledged once he brought it to light. He could take a simple excursion down the harbor or a ride to town on a horse-drawn carriage and transform his experience into a piece of genuine literature. Several of these pieces were compiled into a book called Suburban Sketches.
It is interesting to observe how slowly yet surely Mr. Howells drew near the great field of novel-writing, and how deliberately he laid the foundations of his art. First, the graceful sketch which was hardly more than a leaf out of his note-book; then the blending of travel with character-drawing, as in A Chance Acquaintance and Their Wedding Journey, and later stories of people who moved about and thus found the incidents which the author had not to invent, as in The Lady of the Aroostook. Meanwhile, the eye which had taken note of surface effects was beginning to look deeper into the springs of being, and the hand which had described was beginning to model figures also which stood alone.
It's interesting to see how slowly but surely Mr. Howells approached the world of novel-writing and how carefully he built the foundations of his craft. First, there was the elegant sketch that was barely more than a note from his notebook; then he mixed travel with character development, as in A Chance Acquaintance and Their Wedding Journey, and later, he wrote stories about people on the move who discovered events that the author didn't have to create, like in The Lady of the Aroostook. Meanwhile, the eye that had noticed surface details was starting to look deeper into the essence of existence, and the hand that had described was beginning to shape figures that stood on their own.
So there followed a number of little dramatic sketches, where the persons of the drama carried on their little play; and since they were not on a stage before the spectator, the author constructed a sort of literary stage for the reader; that is to say, he supplied by paragraphs what in a regular play would be stage directions. This is seen in such little comedies as A Counterfeit Presentment, which, indeed, was put on the stage. But instead of pushing forward on this line into the field of great drama, Mr. Howells contented himself with dexterous strokes with a fine pen, so to speak, and created a number of sparkling farces like The Parlor Car.
So, a series of short dramatic sketches followed, where the characters performed their little scenes; and since they weren't on a stage in front of an audience, the author created a sort of literary stage for the reader. In other words, he provided paragraphs as what would be stage directions in a regular play. This is evident in little comedies like A Counterfeit Presentment, which was actually performed on stage. However, instead of venturing into the realm of serious drama, Mr. Howells focused on clever writing and produced several entertaining farces like The Parlor Car.
The real issue of all this practice in the dramatic art was to disengage the characters he created from too close dependence on the kind of circumstance, as of travel, which the author did not invent, and to give them substantial life in the working out of the drama of their spiritual evolution. Thus by the time he was released from editorial work, Mr. Howells was ready for the thorough-going novel, and he gave to readers such examples of art as A Modern Instance, The Rise of Silas Lapham, and that most important of all his novels, A Hazard of New Fortunes. By the time this last novel was written, he had become thoroughly interested, not merely in the men, women, and children about him, but in that mysterious, complex order named by us society, with its roots matted together as in a swamp, and seeming to many to be sucking up maleficent, miasmatic vapors from the soil in which it was rooted. Like many another lover of his kind, he has sought to trace the evils of individual life to their source in this composite order, and to guess at the mode by which society shall right itself and drink up healthy and life-giving virtues from the soil.
The main goal of all this practice in drama was to free the characters he created from a heavy reliance on situations, like travel, that the author didn't create himself and to give them real depth in the unfolding of their personal growth. By the time he finished his editorial work, Mr. Howells was ready for the complete novel, giving readers standout works like A Modern Instance, The Rise of Silas Lapham, and his most significant novel, A Hazard of New Fortunes. By the time he wrote this last novel, he had developed a real interest not just in the people around him, but also in the mysterious, complex structure we call society, which has its roots tangled together like in a swamp, and seems to many to be absorbing harmful, toxic fumes from the very soil it’s established in. Like many others of his kind, he has tried to trace the problems of individual lives back to their origins in this intricate structure, and to speculate on how society can repair itself and draw healthy, life-giving virtues from the ground.
But it must not be inferred that his novels and other literary work have been by any means exclusively concerned with the reconstruction of the social order. He has indeed experimented with this theme, but he has always had a sane interest in life as he sees it, and with the increasing scope of his observation he has drawn his figures from a larger world, which includes indeed the world in which he first began to find his characters and their action.
But it shouldn’t be assumed that his novels and other literary work are solely focused on rebuilding the social structure. He has certainly explored this theme, but he has always maintained a healthy interest in life as he perceives it, and with the expanding range of his observations, he has taken his characters from a broader world, which still includes the original world where he first started to develop his characters and their stories.
Not long after retiring from the Atlantic he went to live in New York, and varied his American experience with frequent travels and continued residence in Europe. For a while he maintained a department in Harper's Magazine, where he gave expression to his views on literature and the dramatic art, and for a short period returned to the editorial life in conducting The Cosmopolitan; later he entered also the field of lecturing, and thus further extended the range of his observation. For many years, Mr. Howells was the writer of “Editor's Easy Chair” in Harper's Magazine. In 1909 he was made president of the American Academy of Arts and Letters. Mr. Howells's death occurred May 11, 1920.
Not long after retiring from the Atlantic, he moved to New York and enriched his American experience with frequent travels and extended stays in Europe. For a time, he managed a department in Harper's Magazine, where he shared his thoughts on literature and drama. He briefly returned to editorial work by running The Cosmopolitan and later ventured into lecturing, which further broadened his perspective. For many years, Mr. Howells wrote the “Editor's Easy Chair” column in Harper's Magazine. In 1909, he was appointed president of the American Academy of Arts and Letters. Mr. Howells passed away on May 11, 1920.
This in fine is the most summary statement of his career in literature,—that he has been a keen and sympathetic observer of life, and has caught its character, not like a reporter going about with a kodak and snapping it aimlessly at any conspicuous object, but like an alert artist who goes back to his studio after a walk and sets down his comments on what he has seen in quick, accurate sketches, now and then resolving numberless undrawn sketches into some one comprehensive and beautiful picture.
This is essentially the most concise summary of his career in literature: he has been a keen and empathetic observer of life, capturing its essence not like a reporter wandering around with a camera and randomly snapping pictures of anything that stands out, but like a observant artist who returns to his studio after a stroll and quickly makes accurate sketches of what he has seen, occasionally merging countless rough sketches into one complete and beautiful image.
THE SEQUENCE OF MR. HOWELLS'S BOOKS.
Mr. Howells is the author of nearly seventy books, from which the following are selected as best representing his work in various fields and at various periods.
Mr. Howells is the author of nearly seventy books, and the following are chosen as the best examples of his work across different fields and times.
Venetian Life. Travel and description. 1867.
Venetian Life. Travel and Description. 1867.
Their Wedding Journey. Novel. 1871.
Their Wedding Journey. Novel. 1871.
Italian Journeys. Travel and description. 1872.
Italian Journeys. Travel and description. 1872.
Suburban Sketches. 1872.
Suburban Sketches. 1872.
Poems. 1873 and 1895.
Poems. 1873 & 1895.
A Chance Acquaintance. Novel. 1873.
A Chance Encounter. Novel. 1873.
A Foregone Conclusion. Novel. 1874.
A Foregone Conclusion. Novel. 1874.
A Counterfeit Presentment. Comedy. 1877.
A Fake Presentation. Comedy. 1877.
The Lady of the Aroostook. Novel. 1879.
The Lady of the Aroostook. Novel. 1879.
The Undiscovered Country. Novel. 1880.
The Undiscovered Country. Novel. 1880.
A Fearful Responsibility, and Other Stories. 1881.
A Fearful Responsibility, and Other Stories. 1881.
A Modern Instance. Novel. 1881.
A Modern Instance. Novel. 1881.
The Rise of Silas Lapham. Novel. 1884.
The Rise of Silas Lapham. Novel. 1884.
Tuscan Cities. Travel and description. 1885.
Tuscan Cities. Travel and Description. 1885.
April Hopes. Novel. 1887.
April Hopes. Novel. 1887.
A Hazard of New Fortunes. Novel. 1889.
A Hazard of New Fortunes. Novel. 1889.
The Sleeping Car, and Other Farces. 1889.
The Sleeping Car, and Other Farces. 1889.
A Boy's Town. Reminiscences. 1890.
A Boy's Town. Memories. 1890.
Criticism and Fiction. Essays. 1891.
Criticism and Fiction: Essays, 1891.
My Literary Passions. Essays. 1895.
My Literary Passions. Essays. 1895.
Stops of Various Quills. Poems. 1895.
Stops of Various Quills. Poems. 1895.
Literary Friends and Acquaintances. Reminiscences, 1900.
Literary Friends and Acquaintances. Memories, 1900.
Heroines of Fiction. Criticism. 1901.
Heroines in Fiction. Critique. 1901.
The Kentons. Novel. 1902.
The Kentons. Novel. 1902.
Literature and Life. Criticism. 1902.
Literature and Life: Criticism, 1902.
London Films. Travel and Description. 1905.
London Films. Travel and Description. 1905.
A MODERN INSTANCE.
I.
The village stood on a wide plain, and around it rose the mountains. They were green to their tops in summer, and in winter white through their serried pines and drifting mists, but at every season serious and beautiful, furrowed with hollow shadows, and taking the light on masses and stretches of iron-gray crag. The river swam through the plain in long curves, and slipped away at last through an unseen pass to the southward, tracing a score of miles in its course over a space that measured but three or four. The plain was very fertile, and its features, if few and of purely utilitarian beauty, had a rich luxuriance, and there was a tropical riot of vegetation when the sun of July beat on those northern fields. They waved with corn and oats to the feet of the mountains, and the potatoes covered a vast acreage with the lines of their intense, coarse green; the meadows were deep with English grass to the banks of the river, that, doubling and returning upon itself, still marked its way with a dense fringe of alders and white birches.
The village sat on a wide plain, surrounded by mountains. In the summer, the peaks were lush and green, while in winter, they were blanketed in white from the dense pines and swirling mists. At all times of the year, these mountains appeared serious and beautiful, marked by deep shadows and sunlight hitting the rugged, iron-gray cliffs. The river wound through the plain in long curves and eventually slipped away through an unseen pass to the south, covering a distance of several miles while actually only spanning three or four. The plain was highly fertile, and although its features were few and mainly practical, they exuded a rich vibrancy. In July, the fields burst into a tropical explosion of vegetation under the relentless sun. They swayed with corn and oats up to the mountains, and extensive stretches of potatoes sprawled out with their intense, coarse green. The meadows were thick with English grass right to the riverbanks, which twisted and looped back on itself, lined with dense fringes of alders and white birches.
But winter was full half the year. The snow began at Thanksgiving, and fell snow upon snow till Fast Day, thawing between the storms, and packing harder and harder against the break-up in the spring, when it covered the ground in solid levels three feet high, and lay heaped in drifts, that defied the sun far into May. When it did not snow, the weather was keenly clear, and commonly very still. Then the landscape at noon had a stereoscopic glister under the high sun that burned in a heaven without a cloud, and at setting stained the sky and the white waste with freezing pink and violet. On such days the farmers and lumbermen came in to the village stores, and made a stiff and feeble stir about their doorways, and the school children gave the street a little life and color, as they went to and from the Academy in their red and blue woollens. Four times a day the mill, the shrill wheeze of whose saws had become part of the habitual silence, blew its whistle for the hands to begin and leave off work, in blasts that seemed to shatter themselves against the thin air. But otherwise an arctic quiet prevailed.
But winter lasted half the year. The snow started at Thanksgiving and kept piling on until Fast Day, melting a bit between storms and packing tighter and tighter against the spring thaw, when it covered the ground in solid layers three feet high and created drifts that resisted the sun well into May. When it wasn't snowing, the weather was sharply clear and usually very still. On those days, the landscape at noon sparkled under the bright sun shining in a cloudless sky, and at sunset, it tinted the sky and the white expanse with freezing shades of pink and violet. On such days, farmers and lumbermen would come into the village stores, moving stiffly around the doorways, while schoolchildren added some life and color to the street as they walked back and forth between the Academy in their red and blue woolen clothes. Four times a day, the mill, whose shrill saw sounds had become part of the usual silence, blew its whistle for the workers to start and stop, with blasts that felt like they shattered in the thin air. But aside from that, an arctic quiet reigned.
Behind the black boles of the elms that swept the vista of the street with the fine gray tracery of their boughs, stood the houses, deep-sunken in the accumulating drifts, through which each householder kept a path cut from his doorway to the road, white and clean as if hewn out of marble. Some cross streets straggled away east and west with the poorer dwellings; but this, that followed the northward and southward reach of the plain, was the main thoroughfare, and had its own impressiveness, with those square white houses which they build so large in Northern New England. They were all kept in scrupulous repair, though here and there the frost and thaw of many winters had heaved a fence out of plumb, and threatened the poise of the monumental urns of painted pine on the gate-posts. They had dark-green blinds, of a color harmonious with that of the funereal evergreens in their dooryards; and they themselves had taken the tone of the snowy landscape, as if by the operation of some such law as blanches the fur-bearing animals of the North. They seemed proper to its desolation, while some houses of more modern taste, painted to a warmer tone, looked, with their mansard roofs and jig-sawed piazzas and balconies, intrusive and alien.
Behind the black trunks of the elms that spread across the street with the delicate gray pattern of their branches, stood the houses, deeply buried in the growing snowdrifts, through which each homeowner kept a path cleared from their door to the road, white and clean as if carved from marble. Some side streets meandered east and west with the less affluent homes; but this one, running north and south along the flat land, was the main road, and had its own significance, with those square white houses built so large in Northern New England. They were all meticulously maintained, though here and there the freeze and thaw of many winters had shifted a fence out of alignment, threatening the balance of the grand urns painted on the gateposts. They had dark green shutters, a color that blended well with the mournful evergreens in their front yards; and the houses themselves had taken on the hue of the snowy landscape, as if by a law similar to the one that lightens the fur of animals in the North. They seemed fitting for its emptiness, while some more modern houses, painted in warmer tones, appeared intrusive and out of place with their mansard roofs and ornate porches and balconies.
At one end of the street stood the Academy, with its classic façade and its belfry; midway was the hotel, with the stores, the printing-office, and the churches; and at the other extreme, one of the square white mansions stood advanced from the rank of the rest, at the top of a deep-plunging valley, defining itself against the mountain beyond so sharply that it seemed as if cut out of its dark, wooded side. It was from the gate before this house, distinct in the pink light which the sunset had left, that, on a Saturday evening in February, a cutter, gay with red-lined robes, dashed away, and came musically clashing down the street under the naked elms. For the women who sat with their work at the windows on either side of the way, hesitating whether to light their lamps, and drawing nearer and nearer to the dead-line of the outer cold for the latest glimmer of the day, the passage of this ill-timed vehicle was a vexation little short of grievous. Every movement on the street was precious to them, and, with all the keenness of their starved curiosity, these captives of the winter could not make out the people in the cutter. Afterward it was a mortification to them that they should not have thought at once of Bartley Hubbard and Marcia Gaylord. They had seen him go up toward Squire Gaylord's house half an hour before, and they now blamed themselves for not reflecting that of course he was going to take Marcia over to the church sociable at Lower Equity. Their identity being established, other little proofs of it reproached the inquirers; but these perturbed spirits were at peace, and the lamps were out in the houses (where the smell of rats in the wainscot and of potatoes in the cellar strengthened with the growing night), when Bartley and Marcia drove back through the moonlit silence to her father's door. Here, too, the windows were all dark, except for the light that sparely glimmered through the parlor blinds; and the young man slackened the pace of his horse, as if to still the bells, some distance away from the gate.
At one end of the street stood the Academy, with its classic façade and belfry; midway was the hotel, along with the stores, the printing office, and the churches; and at the other end, one of the square white mansions jutted out from the row of the others, perched at the top of a steep valley, contrasting sharply against the mountain beyond, as if carved from its dark, wooded side. It was from the gate in front of this house, highlighted in the pink light of the sunset, that on a Saturday evening in February, a sleek cutter decked in red-lined robes sped away, clashing musically down the street under the bare elms. For the women sitting at their windows with their work on both sides of the street, hesitating to light their lamps and edging closer to the biting cold for the last glimmer of daylight, the passage of this ill-timed carriage was a frustrating annoyance. Every movement on the street was precious to them, and with all the sharpness of their starved curiosity, these winter captives couldn’t make out who was in the cutter. They later felt embarrassed that they hadn’t immediately thought of Bartley Hubbard and Marcia Gaylord. They had seen him head toward Squire Gaylord's house half an hour earlier, and now they chastised themselves for not realizing he was obviously taking Marcia to the church social at Lower Equity. Once they figured out who it was, other small signs pointed to that identity, but these restless spirits were at ease, and the lamps were off in the houses (where the smell of rats in the walls and potatoes in the cellar grew stronger with the night) when Bartley and Marcia drove back through the moonlit silence to her father's door. Here too, all the windows were dark, except for the faint light spilling through the parlor blinds; the young man slowed his horse's pace, as if to quiet the bells, some distance from the gate.
The girl took the hand he offered her when he dismounted at the gate, and, as she jumped from the cutter, “Won't you come in?” she asked.
The girl took the hand he offered when he got off his horse at the gate, and as she jumped out of the cutter, she asked, “Won't you come in?”
“I guess I can blanket my horse and stand him under the wood-shed,” answered the young man, going around to the animal's head and leading him away.
“I guess I can put a blanket on my horse and stand him under the shed,” answered the young man, walking around to the animal's head and leading him away.
When he returned to the door the girl opened it, as if she had been listening for his step; and she now stood holding it ajar for him to enter, and throwing the light upon the threshold from the lamp, which she lifted high in the other hand. The action brought her figure in relief, and revealed the outline of her bust and shoulders, while the lamp flooded with light the face she turned to him, and again averted for a moment, as if startled at some noise behind her. She thus showed a smooth, low forehead, lips and cheeks deeply red, a softly rounded chin touched with a faint dimple, and in turn a nose short and aquiline; her eyes were dark, and her dusky hair flowed crinkling above her fine black brows, and vanished down the curve of a lovely neck. There was a peculiar charm in the form of her upper lip: it was exquisitely arched, and at the corners it projected a little over the lower lip, so that when she smiled it gave a piquant sweetness to her mouth, with a certain demure innocence that qualified the Roman pride of her profile. For the rest, her beauty was of the kind that coming years would only ripen and enrich; at thirty she would be even handsomer than at twenty, and be all the more southern in her type for the paling of that northern, color in her cheeks. The young man who looked up at her from the doorstep had a yellow mustache, shadowing either side of his lip with a broad sweep, like a bird's wing; his chin, deep-cut below his mouth, failed to come strenuously forward; his cheeks were filled to an oval contour, and his face had otherwise the regularity common to Americans; his eyes, a clouded gray, heavy-lidded and long-lashed, were his most striking feature, and he gave her beauty a deliberate look from them as he lightly stamped the snow from his feet, and pulled the seal-skin gloves from his long hands.
When he got back to the door, the girl opened it as if she had been listening for him. She stood there holding it open for him to come in, illuminating the doorway with the lamp she raised high in her other hand. This action highlighted her figure, showing the curves of her bust and shoulders, while the lamp lit up her face, which she turned to him and then quickly looked away from, as if startled by some noise behind her. She revealed a smooth, low forehead, lips and cheeks a deep red, a softly rounded chin with a slight dimple, and a short, slightly curved nose; her dark eyes and wavy hair cascaded over her elegant black brows and down the graceful curve of her lovely neck. There was a unique charm to her upper lip: it was beautifully arched, and the corners jutted out slightly over her lower lip, giving her smile a sweet and spicy quality, along with a hint of innocent demureness that softened the Roman pride of her profile. Overall, her beauty was the kind that would only deepen and enhance with time; by thirty, she would be even more attractive than at twenty, her looks becoming more southern as the northern flush in her cheeks faded. The young man at the doorstep had a yellow mustache that swept broadly along either side of his lips like a bird’s wing; his chin, carved beneath his mouth, didn’t protrude much. His cheeks were rounded into an oval shape, and his face had a regularity typical of Americans. His most striking feature was his clouded gray eyes, heavy-lidded and long-lashed, which he used to gaze deliberately at her while lightly stamping the snow from his feet and pulling off his seal-skin gloves with his long hands.
“Come in,” she whispered, coloring with pleasure under his gaze; and she made haste to shut the door after him, with a luxurious impatience of the cold. She led the way into the room from which she had come, and set down the lamp on the corner of the piano, while he slipped off his overcoat and swung it over the end of the sofa. They drew up chairs to the stove, in which the smouldering fire, revived by the opened draft, roared and snapped. It was midnight, as the sharp strokes of a wooden clock declared from the kitchen, and they were alone together, and all the other inmates of the house were asleep. The situation, scarcely conceivable to another civilization, is so common in ours, where youth commands its fate and trusts solely to itself, that it may be said to be characteristic of the New England civilization wherever it keeps its simplicity. It was not stolen or clandestine; it would have interested every one, but would have shocked no one in the village if the whole village had known it; all that a girl's parents ordinarily exacted was that they should not be waked up.
“Come in,” she whispered, blushing with happiness under his gaze; and she quickly shut the door behind him, eager to escape the cold. She led him into the room she had just left and placed the lamp on the corner of the piano while he took off his overcoat and draped it over the end of the sofa. They pulled up chairs to the stove, where the smoldering fire, stirred by the open draft, roared and crackled. It was midnight, as the sharp chimes of a wooden clock announced from the kitchen, and they were alone, with everyone else in the house fast asleep. This situation, almost unimaginable in another culture, is so common in ours, where youth shapes its own destiny and relies solely on itself, that it can be considered typical of New England culture wherever it maintains its simplicity. It wasn’t illicit or secret; it would have intrigued everyone, but wouldn’t have shocked anyone in the village if they had known; all that a girl’s parents usually demanded was not to be disturbed.
“Ugh!” said the girl. “It seems as if I never should get warm.” She leaned forward, and stretched her hands toward the stove, and he presently rose from the rocking-chair in which he sat, somewhat lower than she, and lifted her sack to throw it over her shoulders. But he put it down and took up his overcoat.
“Ugh!” said the girl. “I feel like I’ll never get warm.” She leaned forward and stretched her hands toward the stove. He then got up from the rocking chair he was sitting in, which was slightly lower than hers, and lifted her sack to throw it over her shoulders. But he put it down and grabbed his overcoat instead.
“Allow my coat the pleasure,” he said, with the ease of a man who is not too far lost to be really flattering.
“Let me have the pleasure of taking your coat,” he said, with the casual confidence of someone who isn't trying too hard to be charming.
“Much obliged to the coat,” she replied, shrugging herself into it and pulling the collar close about her throat. “I wonder you didn't put it on the sorrel. You could have tied the sleeves around her neck.”
“Thanks for the coat,” she said, slipping it on and pulling the collar tight around her throat. “I’m surprised you didn’t put it on the sorrel. You could have tied the sleeves around her neck.”
“Shall I tie them around yours?” He leaned forward from the low rocking-chair into which he had sunk again, and made a feint at what he had proposed.
“Should I tie them around yours?” He leaned forward from the low rocking chair he had settled into again and pretended to do what he had suggested.
But she drew back with a gay “No!” and added: “Some day, father says, that sorrel will be the death of us. He says it's a bad color for a horse. They're always ugly, and when they get heated they're crazy.”
But she pulled back with a cheerful “No!” and added: “Someday, Dad says, that sorrel will be the end of us. He says it's a bad color for a horse. They're always ugly, and when they get hot, they go crazy.”
“You never seem to be very much frightened when you're riding after the sorrel,” said Bartley.
“You never seem to be that scared when you're riding after the sorrel,” Bartley said.
“Oh, I've great faith in your driving.”
“Oh, I have a lot of faith in your driving.”
“Thanks. But I don't believe in this notion about a horse being vicious because he's of a certain color. If your father didn't believe in it, I should call it a superstition; but the Squire has no superstitions.”
“Thanks. But I don't buy into this idea that a horse is mean just because of its color. If your dad didn't believe it, I would call it a superstition; but the Squire doesn’t have any superstitions.”
“I don't know about that,” said the girl. “I don't think he likes to see the new moon over his left shoulder.”
“I don't know about that,” said the girl. “I don't think he likes seeing the new moon over his left shoulder.”
“I beg his pardon, then,” returned Bartley. “I ought to have said religions: the Squire has no religions.” The young fellow had a rich, caressing voice, and a securely winning manner which comes from the habit of easily pleasing; in this charming tone, and with this delightful insinuation, he often said things that hurt; but with such a humorous glance from his softly shaded eyes that people felt in some sort flattered at being taken into the joke, even while they winced under it. The girl seemed to wince, as if, in spite of her familiarity with the fact, it wounded her to have her father's scepticism recognized just then. She said nothing, and he added, “I remember we used to think that a redheaded boy was worse-tempered on account of his hair. But I don't believe the sorrel-tops, as we called them, were any more fiery than the rest of us.”
“I apologize, then,” Bartley replied. “I should have said religions: the Squire doesn’t have any.” The young man had a rich, soothing voice and a charming way about him that came from easily pleasing others. With this lovely tone and a delightful hint of sarcasm, he often said things that stung; but he did so with such a humorous glint in his softly shaded eyes that people felt somewhat flattered to be in on the joke, even while they felt the sting. The girl seemed to flinch, as if, despite knowing it well, it hurt her to have her father's skepticism acknowledged at that moment. She didn't say anything, and he continued, “I remember we used to think that a redheaded boy had a worse temper because of his hair. But I don’t believe the redheads, as we called them, were any more hot-headed than the rest of us.”
Marcia did not answer at once, and then she said, with the vagueness of one not greatly interested by the subject, “You've got a sorrel-top in your office that's fiery enough, if she's anything like what she used to be when she went to school.”
Marcia didn’t respond right away, then said, sounding a bit uninterested, “You’ve got a fiery sorrel-top in your office, if she’s anything like she was back in school.”
“Hannah Morrison?”
"Hannah Morrison?"
“Yes.”
“Yep.”
“Oh, she isn't so bad. She's pretty lively, but she's very eager to learn the business, and I guess we shall get along. I think she wants to please me.”
“Oh, she’s not so bad. She’s pretty energetic, but she’s really eager to learn the business, and I think we’ll get along. I believe she wants to impress me.”
“Does she! But she must be going on seventeen now.”
"Does she! But she must be almost seventeen now."
“I dare say,” answered the young man, carelessly, but with perfect intelligence. “She's good-looking in her way, too.”
“I would say,” replied the young man, casually but with full understanding. “She’s attractive in her own way, too.”
“Oh! Then you admire red hair?”
“Oh! So you like red hair?”
He perceived the anxiety that the girl's pride could not keep out of her tone, but he answered indifferently, “I'm a little too near that color myself. I hear that red hair's coming into fashion, but I guess it's natural I should prefer black.”
He noticed the anxiety that the girl's pride couldn't hide in her tone, but he replied nonchalantly, “I’m a bit too close to that color myself. I’ve heard that red hair is becoming trendy, but I suppose it’s only natural that I would prefer black.”
She leaned back in her chair, and crushed the velvet collar of his coat under her neck in lifting her head to stare at the high-hung mezzotints and family photographs on the walls, while a flattered smile parted her lips, and there was a little thrill of joy in her voice. “I presume we must be a good deal behind the age in everything at Equity.”
She leaned back in her chair and crumpled the velvet collar of his coat under her neck as she lifted her head to look at the high-hung mezzotints and family photos on the walls. A pleased smile crossed her lips, and a hint of joy was in her voice. “I guess we must be quite a bit behind the times in everything at Equity.”
“Well, you know my opinion of Equity,” returned the young man. “If I didn't have you here to free my mind to once in a while, I don't know what I should do.”
“Yeah, you know how I feel about Equity,” the young man replied. “If I didn’t have you here to clear my head every now and then, I don’t know what I’d do.”
She was so proud to be in the secret of his discontent with the narrow world of Equity that she tempted him to disparage it further by pretending to identify herself with it. “I don't see why you abuse Equity to me. I Ve never been anywhere else, except those two winters at school. You'd better look out: I might expose you,” she threatened, fondly.
She was really proud to be in on his frustration with the limited world of Equity, so she encouraged him to criticize it even more by pretending to relate to it. “I don’t understand why you talk badly about Equity to me. I’ve never been anywhere else, except for those two winters at school. You should be careful: I might spill your secrets,” she teased, affectionately.
“I'm not afraid. Those two winters make a great difference. You saw girls from other places,—from Augusta, and Bangor, and Bath.”
“I'm not scared. Those two winters really change things. You saw girls from other places— from Augusta, Bangor, and Bath.”
“Well, I couldn't see how they were so very different from Equity girls.”
“Well, I couldn't see how they were so different from the Equity girls.”
“I dare say they couldn't, either, if they judged from you.”
“I bet they wouldn’t be able to, either, if they were judging based on you.”
She leaned forward again, and begged for more flattery from him with her happy eyes. “Why, what does make me so different from all the rest? I should really like to know.”
She leaned forward again and asked him for more compliments with her joyful eyes. “What really makes me so different from everyone else? I would genuinely like to know.”
“Oh, you don't expect me to tell you to your face!”
“Oh, you really think I'm going to say that to your face?!”
“Yes, to my face! I don't believe it's anything complimentary.”
“Yes, to my face! I don't think it's anything nice.”
“No, it's nothing that you deserve any credit for.”
“No, it's not something you should take credit for.”
“Pshaw!” cried the girl. “I know you're only talking to make fun of me. How do I know but you make fun of me to other girls, just as you do of them to me? Everybody says you're sarcastic.”
“Ugh!” the girl exclaimed. “I know you’re just saying that to tease me. How do I know you don’t make fun of me to other girls, just like you do with them to me? Everyone says you’re sarcastic.”
“Have I ever been sarcastic with you?”
“Have I ever been sarcastic with you?”
“You know I wouldn't stand it.”
"You know I couldn't handle it."
He made no reply, but she admired the ease with which he now turned from her, and took one book after another from the table at his elbow, saying some words of ridicule about each. It gave her a still deeper sense of his intellectual command when he finally discriminated, and began to read out a poem with studied elocutionary effects. He read in a low tone, but at last some responsive noises came from the room overhead; he closed the book, and threw himself into an attitude of deprecation, with his eyes cast up to the ceiling.
He didn’t say a word, but she admired how effortlessly he turned away from her and picked up one book after another from the table beside him, making some sarcastic comments about each. It deepened her appreciation for his intellectual control when he finally picked one and began to read a poem with a dramatic flair. He spoke softly, but eventually, some sounds came from the room above; he closed the book and threw himself into a pose of humility, looking up at the ceiling.
“Chicago,” he said, laying the book on the table and taking his knee between his hands, while he dazzled her by speaking from the abstraction of one who has carried on a train of thought quite different from that on which he seemed to be intent,—“Chicago is the place for me. I don't think I can stand Equity much longer. You know that chum of mine I told you about; he's written to me to come out there and go into the law with him at once.”
“Chicago,” he said, putting the book on the table and gripping his knee with his hands, while he amazed her by talking about a completely different train of thought than the one he appeared focused on, “is the place for me. I don't think I can handle Equity much longer. You remember that buddy of mine I mentioned? He’s written to me to come out there and join him in law right away.”
“Why don't you go?” the girl forced herself to ask.
“Why don’t you go?” the girl made herself ask.
“Oh, I'm not ready yet. Should you write to me if I went to Chicago?”
“Oh, I’m not ready yet. Should you message me if I go to Chicago?”
“I don't think you'd find my letters very interesting. You wouldn't want any news from Equity.”
“I don’t think you’d find my letters very interesting. You wouldn’t want any updates from Equity.”
“Your letters wouldn't be interesting if you gave me the Equity news; but they would if you left it out. Then you'd have to write about yourself.”
“Your letters wouldn’t be interesting if you included the news about Equity; but they would be if you left that out. Then you’d have to share more about yourself.”
“Oh, I don't think that would interest anybody.”
“Oh, I don't think that would interest anyone.”
“Well, I feel almost like going out to Chicago to see.”
“Well, I almost feel like going out to Chicago to check it out.”
“But I haven't promised to write yet,” said the girl, laughing for joy in his humor.
“But I haven't promised to write yet,” the girl said, laughing with joy at his humor.
“I shall have to stay in Equity till you do, then. Better promise at once.”
“I guess I’ll have to stay in Equity until you do, then. You should probably promise right away.”
“Wouldn't that be too much like marrying a man to get rid of him?”
“Wouldn't that be just like marrying a guy to get rid of him?”
“I don't think that's always such a bad plan—for the man.” He waited for her to speak; but she had gone the length of her tether in this direction. “Byron says,—
“I don't think that's always such a bad plan—for the guy.” He waited for her to respond; but she had reached her limit in this direction. “Byron says,—
'Man's love is of man's life a thing apart,— 'Tis woman's whole existence.'
'Man's love is a separate part of a man's life, — It is a woman's entire existence.'
Do you believe that?” He dwelt upon her with his tree look, in the happy embarrassment with which she let her head droop.
“Do you believe that?” He looked at her intently, enjoying the moment of happy embarrassment as she let her head hang down.
“I don't know,” she murmured. “I don't know anything about a man's life.”
“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “I don’t know anything about a man’s life.”
“It was the woman's I was asking about.”
“It was the woman I was asking about.”
“I don't think I'm competent to answer.”
"I don't think I'm qualified to answer."
“Well, I'll tell you, then. I think Byron was mistaken. My experience is, that, when a man is in love, there's nothing else of him. That's the reason I've kept out of it altogether of late years. My advice is, don't fall in love: it takes too much time.” They both laughed at this. “But about corresponding, now; you haven't said whether you would write to me, or not. Will you?”
“Well, I’ll tell you. I think Byron was wrong. From my experience, when a guy is in love, that's all he can think about. That's why I've stayed away from it completely in recent years. My advice is, don’t fall in love; it’s too time-consuming.” They both laughed at this. “But what about writing; you haven’t said whether you would write to me or not. Will you?”
“Can't you wait and see?” she asked, slanting a look at him, which she could not keep from being fond.
“Can’t you wait and see?” she asked, giving him a sideways glance that she couldn’t help but make affectionate.
“No, no. Unless you wrote to me I couldn't go to Chicago.”
“No, no. I wouldn’t be able to go to Chicago unless you wrote to me.”
“Perhaps I ought to promise, then, at once.”
“Maybe I should just make a promise right now.”
“You mean that you wish me to go.”
“You mean you want me to go.”
“You said that you were going. You oughtn't to let anything stand in the way of your doing the best you can for yourself.”
“You said you were going. You shouldn’t let anything stop you from doing what’s best for you.”
“But you would miss me a little, wouldn't you? You would try to miss me, now and then?”
“But you'd miss me a little, right? You'd try to miss me, occasionally?”
“Oh, you are here pretty often. I don't think I should have much difficulty in missing you.”
“Oh, you come here pretty regularly. I don’t think I’ll have much trouble missing you.”
“Thanks, thanks! I can go with a light heart, now. Good by.” He made a pretence of rising.
“Thanks, thanks! I can leave with a light heart now. Goodbye.” He pretended to stand up.
“What! Are you going at once?”
“What! Are you leaving right now?”
“Yes, this very night,—or to-morrow. Or no, I can't go to-morrow. There's something I was going to do to-morrow.”
“Yes, tonight—or tomorrow. Or no, I can't do tomorrow. There's something I was planning to do tomorrow.”
“Perhaps go to church.”
“Maybe go to church.”
“Oh, that of course. But it was in the afternoon. Stop! I have it! I want you to go sleigh-riding with me in the afternoon.”
“Oh, that of course. But it was in the afternoon. Wait! I’ve got it! I want you to go sleigh riding with me in the afternoon.”
“I don't know about that,” Marcia began.
“I’m not so sure about that,” Marcia started.
“But I do,” said the young man. “Hold on: I'll put my request in writing.” He opened her portfolio, which lay on the table. “What elegant stationery! May I use some of this elegant stationery? The letter is to a lady,—to open a correspondence. May I?” She laughed her assent. “How ought I to begin? Dearest Miss Marcia, or just Dear Marcia: which is better?”
“But I do,” said the young man. “Hold on: I’ll write my request down.” He opened her portfolio, which was on the table. “What beautiful stationery! Can I use some of this lovely stationery? The letter is for a lady—to start a correspondence. Can I?” She laughed in agreement. “How should I begin? Dearest Miss Marcia or just Dear Marcia: which one is better?”
“You had better not put either—”
"You shouldn't put either."
“But I must. You're one or the other, you know. You're dear—to your family,—and you're Marcia: you can't deny it. The only question is whether you're the dearest of all the Miss Marcias. I may be mistaken, you know. We'll err on the safe side: Dear Marcia:” He wrote it down. “That looks well, and it reads well. It looks very natural, and it reads like poetry,—blank verse; there's no rhyme for it that I can remember. Dear Marcia: Will you go sleigh-riding with me to-morrow afternoon, at two o'clock sharp? Yours—yours? sincerely, or cordially, or affectionately, or what? The 'dear Marcia' seems to call for something out of the common. I think it had better be affectionately.” He suggested it with ironical gravity.
“But I have to. You’re one or the other, you know. You’re beloved by your family—and you’re Marcia: you can’t deny it. The only question is whether you’re the favorite among all the Miss Marcias. I might be wrong, you know. Let’s play it safe: Dear Marcia:” He wrote it down. “That looks good, and it sounds good. It feels very natural, and it reads like poetry—blank verse; I can’t think of a rhyme for it. Dear Marcia: Will you go sleigh-riding with me tomorrow afternoon, at two o’clock sharp? Yours—yours? sincerely, or cordially, or affectionately, or what? The 'dear Marcia' seems to call for something different. I think it should be affectionately.” He suggested it with ironic seriousness.
“And I think it had better be 'truly,'” protested the girl.
“And I think it should definitely be 'truly,'” the girl insisted.
“'Truly' it shall be, then. Your word is law,—statute in such case made and provided.” He wrote, “With unutterable devotion, yours truly, Bartley J. Hubbard,” and read it aloud.
“'Sure,' that’s how it will be then. Your word is law—set in stone for this situation.” He wrote, “With deep devotion, yours truly, Bartley J. Hubbard,” and read it aloud.
She leaned forward, and lightly caught it away from him, and made a feint of tearing it. He seized her hands. “Mr. Hubbard!” she cried, in undertone. “Let me go, please.”
She leaned forward, gently snatched it from him, and pretended to rip it. He grabbed her hands. “Mr. Hubbard!” she whispered. “Please let me go.”
“On two conditions,—promise not to tear up my letter, and promise to answer it in writing.”
“On two conditions—promise not to rip up my letter, and promise to reply in writing.”
She hesitated long, letting him hold her wrists. At last she said, “Well,” and he released her wrists, on whose whiteness his clasp left red circles. She wrote a single word on the paper, and pushed it across the table to him. He rose with it, and went around to her side.
She paused for a long time, allowing him to hold her wrists. Finally, she said, “Well,” and he let go of her wrists, leaving red circles on her pale skin. She wrote a single word on the paper and slid it across the table to him. He stood up with it and walked around to her side.
“This is very nice. But you haven't spelled it correctly. Anybody would say this was No, to look at it; and you meant to write Yes. Take the pencil in your hand, Miss Gaylord, and I will steady your trembling nerves, so that you can form the characters. Stop! At the slightest resistance on your part, I will call out and alarm the house; or I will—.” He put the pencil into her fingers, and took her soft fist into his, and changed the word, while she submitted, helpless with her smothered laughter. “Now the address. Dear—”
“This is really nice. But you haven’t spelled it correctly. Anyone would say this was 'No' just by looking at it, and you meant to write 'Yes.' Take the pencil in your hand, Miss Gaylord, and I’ll steady your trembling nerves so you can form the letters. Stop! At the slightest resistance from you, I’ll call out and alert the house; or I will—.” He placed the pencil in her fingers, took her soft fist in his, and changed the word while she surrendered, barely containing her laughter. “Now the address. Dear—”
“No, no!” she protested.
“No, no!” she said.
“Yes, yes! Dear Mr. Hubbard. There, that will do. Now the signature. Yours—”
“Yes, yes! Dear Mr. Hubbard. There, that’s good. Now, the signature. Yours—”
“I won't write that. I won't, indeed!”
“I won't write that. I really won't!”
“Oh, yes, you will. You only think you won't. Yours gratefully, Marcia Gaylord. That's right. The Gaylord is not very legible, on account of a slight tremor in the writer's arm, resulting from a constrained posture, perhaps. Thanks, Miss Gaylord. I will be here promptly at the hour indicated—”
“Oh, yes, you will. You just think you won't. Yours gratefully, Marcia Gaylord. That's right. The Gaylord is a bit hard to read because of a slight tremor in the writer's arm, probably from an awkward position. Thanks, Miss Gaylord. I’ll be here right on time as you requested—”
The noises renewed themselves overhead,—some one seemed to be moving about. Hubbard laid his hand on that of the girl, still resting on the table, and grasped it in burlesque alarm; she could scarcely stifle her mirth. He released her hand, and, reaching his chair with a theatrical stride, sat there cowering till the noises ceased. Then he began to speak soberly, in a low voice. He spoke of himself; but in application of a lecture which they had lately heard, so that he seemed to be speaking of the lecture. It was on the formation of character, and he told of the processes by which he had formed his own character. They appeared very wonderful to her, and she marvelled at the ease with which he dismissed the frivolity of his recent mood, and was now all seriousness. When he came to speak of the influence of others upon him, she almost trembled with the intensity of her interest. “But of all the women I have known, Marcia,” he said, “I believe you have had the strongest influence upon me. I believe you could make me do anything; but you have always influenced me for good; your influence upon me has been ennobling and elevating.”
The sounds above started up again—someone seemed to be moving around. Hubbard put his hand on the girl’s hand, still resting on the table, and pretended to be alarmed; she could barely hold back her laughter. He let go of her hand, and with a dramatic stride, walked to his chair and sat there nervously until the noises stopped. Then he started to speak seriously, in a low voice. He talked about himself, relating it to a lecture they had recently heard, so it felt like he was discussing the lecture itself. It was about how character is formed, and he described the ways he had shaped his own character. She found it all very impressive and was amazed at how easily he shifted from his earlier lightheartedness to this serious tone. When he began to talk about how others had influenced him, she felt almost breathless with interest. “But of all the women I’ve known, Marcia,” he said, “I believe you’ve had the greatest impact on me. I truly think you could make me do anything; but you’ve always influenced me in a positive way; your influence has been uplifting and inspiring.”
She wished to refuse his praise; but her heart throbbed for bliss and pride in it; her voice dissolved on her lips. They sat in silence; and he took in his the hand that she let hang over the side of her chair. The lamp began to burn low, and she found words to say, “I had better get another,” but she did not move.
She wanted to reject his compliments, but her heart was filled with joy and pride about them; her voice faded away. They sat in silence, and he took her hand that rested over the edge of her chair. The lamp started to dim, and she finally found the words to say, “I should probably get another,” but she didn't get up.
“No, don't,” he said; “I must be going, too. Look at the wick, there, Marcia; it scarcely reaches the oil. In a little while it will not reach it, and the flame will die out. That is the way the ambition to be good and great will die out of me, when my life no longer draws its inspiration from your influence.”
“No, don’t,” he said. “I have to go too. Look at the wick, Marcia; it barely touches the oil. Soon it won’t reach it at all, and the flame will go out. That’s how my ambition to be good and great will fade when my life can no longer draw inspiration from you.”
This figure took her imagination; it seemed to her very beautiful; and his praise humbled her more and more.
This figure captivated her imagination; she found it very beautiful; and his praise made her feel more and more humbled.
“Good night,” he said, in a low, sad voice. He gave her hand a last pressure, and rose to put on his coat. Her admiration of his words, her happiness in his flattery, filled her brain like wine. She moved dizzily as she took up the lamp to light him to the door. “I have tired you,” he said, tenderly, and he passed his hand around her to sustain the elbow of the arm with which she held the lamp; she wished to resist, but she could not try.
“Good night,” he said softly, with a hint of sadness. He squeezed her hand one last time and stood up to put on his coat. Her admiration for his words and her joy at his compliments intoxicated her like wine. She felt lightheaded as she picked up the lamp to guide him to the door. “I’ve worn you out,” he said gently, wrapping his arm around her to support the elbow of the arm holding the lamp; she wanted to push him away, but she found it impossible to do so.
At the door he bent down his head and kissed her. “Good night, dear—friend.”
At the door, he leaned down and kissed her. “Good night, dear—friend.”
“Good night,” she panted; and after the door had closed upon him, she stooped and kissed the knob on which his hand had rested.
“Good night,” she breathed; and after the door had closed behind him, she bent down and kissed the doorknob where his hand had been.
As she turned, she started to see her father coming down the stairs with a candle in his hand. He had his black cravat tied around his throat, but no collar; otherwise, he had on the rusty black clothes in which he ordinarily went about his affairs,—the cassimere pantaloons, the satin vest, and the dress-coat which old-fashioned country lawyers still wore ten years ago, in preference to a frock or sack. He stopped on one of the lower steps, and looked sharply down into her uplifted face, and, as they stood confronted, their consanguinity came out in vivid resemblances and contrasts; his high, hawk-like profile was translated into the fine aquiline outline of hers; the harsh rings of black hair, now grizzled with age, which clustered tightly over his head, except where they had retreated from his deeply seamed and wrinkled forehead, were the crinkled flow above her smooth white brow; and the line of the bristly tufts that overhung his eyes was the same as that of the low arches above hers. Her complexion was from her mother; his skin was dusky yellow; but they had the same mouth, and hers showed how sweet his mouth must have been in his youth. His eyes, deep sunk in their cavernous sockets, had rekindled their dark fires in hers; his whole visage, softened to her sex and girlish years, looked up at him in his daughter's face.
As she turned, she noticed her father coming down the stairs with a candle in his hand. He had his black cravat tied around his neck but no collar; otherwise, he was wearing the worn black clothes he usually wore—his wool pants, satin vest, and dress coat that old-fashioned country lawyers still preferred over a frock or sack ten years ago. He paused on one of the lower steps and looked sharply down into her lifted face, and as they stood facing each other, their family resemblance became strikingly clear; his high, hawk-like profile translated into the delicate aquiline shape of hers; the harsh strands of black hair, now grayed with age, were tightly clustered over his head, except where they had receded from his deeply lined and wrinkled forehead, mirroring the crinkled waves above her smooth white brow; and the line of the rough tufts that hung over his eyes matched the low arches above hers. Her complexion came from her mother; his skin was a dusky yellow; but they shared the same mouth, and hers revealed how sweet his must have been in his younger days. His eyes, deeply set in their hollow sockets, had rekindled their dark depth in hers; his entire face, softened by her femininity and youth, looked back at him through his daughter's face.
“Why, father! Did we wake you?”
“Dad! Did we wake you up?”
“No. I hadn't been asleep at all. I was coming down to read. But it's time you were in bed, Marcia.”
“No. I hadn't been asleep at all. I was coming down to read. But it's time for you to be in bed, Marcia.”
“Yes, I'm going, now. There's a good fire in the parlor stove.”
“Yes, I'm going now. There's a nice fire in the living room stove.”
The old man descended the remaining steps, but turned at the parlor door, and looked again at his daughter with a glance that arrested her, with her foot on the lowest stair.
The old man walked down the last few steps but paused at the parlor door and glanced back at his daughter, capturing her attention as she stood with her foot on the bottom stair.
“Marcia,” he asked, grimly, “are you engaged to Bartley Hubbard?”
“Marcia,” he asked, grimly, “are you engaged to Bartley Hubbard?”
The blood flashed up from her heart into her face like fire, and then, as suddenly, fell back again, and left her white. She let her head droop and turn, till her eyes were wholly averted from him, and she did not speak. He closed the door behind him, and she went upstairs to her own room; in her shame, she seemed to herself to crawl thither, with her father's glance burning upon her.
The blood rushed from her heart to her face like fire, and then just as quickly faded back, leaving her pale. She lowered her head and turned away, completely avoiding his gaze, and didn’t say a word. He shut the door behind him, and she went upstairs to her room; in her shame, it felt like she was crawling there, with her father's stare burning into her.
II.
Bartley Hubbard drove his sorrel colt back to the hotel stable through the moonlight, and woke up the hostler, asleep behind the counter, on a bunk covered with buffalo-robes. The half-grown boy did not wake easily; he conceived of the affair as a joke, and bade Bartley quit his fooling, till the young man took him by his collar, and stood him on his feet. Then he fumbled about the button of the lamp, turned low and smelling rankly, and lit his lantern, which contributed a rival stench to the choking air. He kicked together the embers that smouldered on the hearth of the Franklin stove, sitting down before it for his greater convenience, and, having put a fresh pine-root on the fire, fell into a doze, with his lantern in his hand. “Look here, young man!” said Bartley, shaking him by the shoulder, “you had better go out and put that colt up, and leave this sleeping before the fire to me.”
Bartley Hubbard rode his sorrel colt back to the hotel stable under the moonlight and woke up the stable hand, who was asleep behind the counter on a bunk covered with buffalo robes. The half-asleep boy didn’t wake up easily; he thought it was a joke and told Bartley to stop fooling around until Bartley grabbed him by the collar and stood him up. Then the boy fumbled with the lamp, which was turned down low and smelled terrible, and lit his lantern, which added a competing stench to the already thick air. He kicked the smoldering embers in the Franklin stove, sitting down in front of it for comfort, and after putting a fresh pine root on the fire, he dozed off, lantern in hand. “Hey, you!” Bartley said, shaking him by the shoulder, “you’d better go out and put that colt away and leave the sleeping in front of the fire to me.”
“Guess the colt can wait awhile,” grumbled the boy; but he went out, all the same, and Bartley, looking through the window, saw his lantern wavering, a yellow blot in the white moonshine, toward the stable. He sat down in the hostler's chair, and, in his turn, kicked the pine-root with the heel of his shoe, and looked about the room. He had had, as he would have said, a grand good time; but it had left him hungry, and the table in the middle of the room, with the chairs huddled around it, was suggestive, though he knew that it had been barrenly put there for the convenience of the landlord's friends, who came every night to play whist with him, and that nothing to eat or drink had ever been set out on it to interrupt the austere interest of the game. It was long since there had been anything on the shelves behind the counter more cheerful than corn-balls and fancy crackers for the children of the summer boarders; these dainties being out of season, the jars now stood there empty. The young man waited in a hungry reverie, in which it appeared to him that he was undergoing unmerited suffering, till the stable-boy came back, now wide awake, and disposed to let the house share his vigils, as he stamped over the floor in his heavy boots.
“Guess the colt can wait a bit,” the boy grumbled; but he left anyway, and Bartley, looking through the window, saw his lantern flickering like a yellow spot in the white moonlight as he headed toward the stable. Bartley sat down in the hostler's chair, kicked the pine-root with the heel of his shoe, and looked around the room. He had just had, as he would say, a fantastic time; but it had left him hungry, and the table in the center of the room, with chairs clustered around it, was tempting, even though he knew it had been placed there just for the landlord's friends, who came every night to play whist with him, and that no food or drink had ever been served on it to interrupt the serious fun of the game. It had been a long time since there was anything on the shelves behind the counter more cheerful than corn-balls and fancy crackers for the summer boarders' kids; now, those treats were out of season, and the jars stood empty. The young man waited in a hungry daydream, feeling like he was unfairly suffering, until the stable-boy returned, now fully awake and ready to let the house share in his restless energy as he stomped around in his heavy boots.
“Andy,” said Bartley, in a pathetic tone of injury, “can't you scare me up something to eat?”
“Andy,” Bartley said in a wounded tone, “can’t you find me something to eat?”
“There aint anything in the buttery but meat-pie,” said the boy.
“There isn't anything in the pantry but meat pie,” said the boy.
He meant mince-pie, as Hubbard knew, and not a pasty of meat; and the hungry man hesitated. “Well, fetch it,” he said, finally. “I guess we can warm it up a little by the coals here.”
He meant mince pie, as Hubbard knew, and not a meat pie; and the hungry man hesitated. “Alright, bring it,” he said finally. “I think we can warm it up a bit by the coals here.”
He had not been so long out of college but the idea of this irregular supper, when he had once formed it, began to have its fascination. He took up the broad fire-shovel, and, by the time the boy had shuffled to and from the pantry beyond the dining-room, Bartley had cleaned the shovel with a piece of newspaper and was already heating it by the embers which he had raked out from under the pine-root. The boy silently transferred the half-pie he had brought from its plate to the shovel. He pulled up a chair and sat down to watch it. The pie began to steam and send out a savory odor; he himself, in thawing, emitted a stronger and stronger smell of stable. He was not without his disdain for the palate which must have its mince-pie warm at midnight,—nor without his respect for it, either. This fastidious taste must be part of the splendor which showed itself in Mr. Hubbard's city-cut clothes, and in his neck-scarfs and the perfection of his finger-nails and mustache. The boy had felt the original impression of these facts deepened rather than effaced by custom; they were for every day, and not, as he had at first conjectured, for some great occasion only.
He hadn’t been out of college for long, but the idea of this unusual dinner, once he thought of it, started to appeal to him. He picked up the big fire-shovel, and by the time the boy returned from the pantry beyond the dining room, Bartley had cleaned the shovel with a piece of newspaper and was already warming it by the glowing embers he had raked out from under the pine-root. The boy silently moved the half-pie from its plate to the shovel. He pulled up a chair and sat down to watch it. The pie began to steam and released a delicious smell; he himself, while thawing out, gave off a stronger and stronger scent of horse stable. He had some disdain for the kind of person who needed their mince pie warmed up at midnight—but he also respected it. This picky taste must be part of the sophistication that showed in Mr. Hubbard’s tailored clothes, his neck scarves, and the perfection of his fingernails and mustache. The boy felt that the initial impression of these facts was deepened rather than faded by routine; they were part of everyday life, not just for some special occasion as he had initially thought.
“You don't suppose, Andy, there is such a thing as cold tea or coffee anywhere, that we could warm up?” asked Bartley, gazing thoughtfully at the pie.
“You don’t think, Andy, that there’s any cold tea or coffee around that we could heat up?” asked Bartley, looking thoughtfully at the pie.
The boy shook his head. “Get you some milk,” he said; and, after he had let the dispiriting suggestion sink into the other's mind, he added, “or some water.”
The boy shook his head. “Get some milk,” he said; and, after he let the discouraging suggestion settle in the other person's mind, he added, “or some water.”
“Oh, bring on the milk,” groaned Bartley, but with the relief that a choice of evils affords. The boy stumped away for it, and when he came back the young man had got his pie on the plate again, and had drawn his chair up to the table. “Thanks,” he said, with his mouth full, as the boy set down the goblet of milk. Andy pulled his chair round so as to get an unrestricted view of a man who ate his pie with his fork as easily as another would with a knife. “That sister of yours is a smart girl,” the young man added, making deliberate progress with the pie.
“Oh, bring on the milk,” Bartley groaned, but there was a sense of relief in having to choose between not-so-great options. The boy hurried off to get it, and when he returned, Bartley had put his pie back on the plate and pulled his chair up to the table. “Thanks,” he said with his mouth full as the boy set down the glass of milk. Andy adjusted his chair to get a clear view of a guy who ate his pie with a fork just as effortlessly as someone else would with a knife. “Your sister is pretty clever,” the young man added, slowly making his way through the pie.
The boy made an inarticulate sound of satisfaction, and resolved in his heart to tell her what Mr. Hubbard had said.
The boy let out a muffled sound of contentment and decided in his heart to tell her what Mr. Hubbard had said.
“She's as smart as time,” continued Bartley.
“She's as smart as they come,” continued Bartley.
This was something concrete. The boy knew he should remember that comparison. “Bring you anything else?” he asked, admiring the young man's skill in getting the last flakes of the crust on his fork. The pie had now vanished.
This was something real. The boy knew he should keep that comparison in mind. “Can I get you anything else?” he asked, admiring the young man's ability to get the last bits of crust on his fork. The pie was now gone.
“Why, there isn't anything else, is there?” Bartley demanded, with the plaintive dismay of a man who fears he has flung away his hunger upon one dish when he might have had something better.
“Why, there isn't anything else, is there?” Bartley asked, with the sad disappointment of a guy who worries he wasted his appetite on one meal when he could have had something better.
“Cheese,” replied the boy.
"Cheese," the boy said.
“Oh!” said Bartley. He reflected awhile. “I suppose I could toast a piece on this fork. But there isn't any more milk.”
“Oh!” Bartley said. He thought for a moment. “I guess I could toast a piece on this fork. But there’s no more milk.”
The boy took away the plate and goblet, and brought them again replenished.
The boy took the plate and goblet away and brought them back filled again.
Bartley contrived to get the cheese on his fork and rest it against one of the andirons so that it would not fall into the ashes. When it was done, he ate it as he had eaten the pie, without offering to share his feast with the boy. “There'” he said. “Yes, Andy, if she keeps on as she's been doing, she won't have any trouble. She's a bright girl.” He stretched his legs before the fire again, and presently yawned.
Bartley managed to get the cheese on his fork and leaned it against one of the andirons so it wouldn’t fall into the ashes. Once it was ready, he ate it just like he had eaten the pie, without offering to share his meal with the boy. “See?” he said. “Yeah, Andy, if she keeps going like she has been, she won’t have any issues. She’s a smart girl.” He stretched his legs out in front of the fire again and soon yawned.
“Want your lamp, Mr. Hubbard?” asked the boy.
“Do you want your lamp, Mr. Hubbard?” the boy asked.
“Well, yes, Andy,” the young man consented. “I suppose I may as well go to bed.”
“Well, yes, Andy,” the young man agreed. “I guess I might as well head to bed.”
But when the boy brought his lamp, he still remained with outstretched legs in front of the fire. Speaking of Hannah Morrison made him think of Marcia again, and of the way in which she had spoken of the girl. He lolled his head on one side in such comfort as a young man finds in the conviction that a pretty girl is not only fond of him, but is instantly jealous of any other girl whose name is mentioned. He smiled at the flame in his reverie, and the boy examined, with clandestine minuteness, the set and pattern of his trousers, with glances of reference and comparison to his own.
But when the boy brought his lamp, he still sat with his legs stretched out in front of the fire. Talking about Hannah made him think of Marcia again, and how she had talked about the girl. He tilted his head to the side in the comfy way a young man does when he believes a pretty girl not only likes him but also gets jealous whenever another girl's name comes up. He smiled at the flame while lost in thought, and the boy scrutinized the fit and design of his trousers, occasionally glancing at his own for comparison.
There were many things about his relations with Marcia Gaylord which were calculated to give Bartley satisfaction. She was, without question, the prettiest girl in the place, and she had more style than any other girl began to have. He liked to go into a room with Marcia Gaylord; it was some pleasure. Marcia was a lady; she had a good education; she had been away two years at school; and, when she came back at the end of the second winter, he knew that she had fallen in love with him at sight. He believed that he could time it to a second. He remembered how he had looked up at her as he passed, and she had reddened, and tried to turn away from the window as if she had not seen him. Bartley was still free as air; but if he could once make up his mind to settle down in a hole like Equity, he could have her by turning his hand. Of course she had her drawbacks, like everybody. She was proud, and she would be jealous; but, with all her pride and her distance, she had let him see that she liked him; and with not a word on his part that any one could hold him to.
There were many aspects of his relationship with Marcia Gaylord that brought Bartley satisfaction. She was definitely the prettiest girl around, and she had more style than anyone else. He enjoyed entering a room with Marcia Gaylord; it was a pleasure. Marcia was a lady; she had a good education and had spent two years at school. When she returned at the end of the second winter, he could tell she had fallen in love with him at first sight. He believed he could time it to the second. He remembered looking up at her as he walked by, and she blushed and tried to turn away from the window as if she hadn't seen him. Bartley was still completely free, but if he could just decide to settle down in a place like Equity, he could have her with ease. Of course, she had her flaws, like everyone else. She was proud and would get jealous; but despite her pride and aloofness, she had shown him that she liked him—without him saying anything that anyone could hold against him.
“Hollo!” he cried, with a suddenness that startled the boy, who had finished his meditation upon Bartley's trousers, and was now deeply dwelling on his boots. “Do you like 'em? See what sort of a shine you can give 'em for Sunday-go-to-meeting to-morrow morning.” He put out his hand and laid hold of the boy's head, passing his fingers through the thick red hair. “Sorrel-top!” he said, with a grin of agreeable reminiscence. “They emptied all the freckles they had left into your face,—didn't they, Andy?”
“Hey there!” he called out suddenly, surprising the boy, who had just been thinking about Bartley's pants and was now focused on his boots. “Do you like them? See what kind of shine you can get on them for church tomorrow morning.” He reached out and held the boy's head, running his fingers through the thick red hair. “Carrot top!” he said with a grin, recalling fond memories. “They really sprinkled every freckle they had left all over your face, didn’t they, Andy?”
This free, joking way of Bartley's was one of the things that made him popular; he passed the time of day, and was give and take right along, as his admirers expressed it, from the first, in a community where his smartness had that honor which gives us more smart men to the square mile than any other country in the world. The fact of his smartness had been affirmed and established in the strongest manner by the authorities of the college at which he was graduated, in answer to the reference he made to them when negotiating with the committee in charge for the place he now held as editor of the Equity Free Press. The faculty spoke of the solidity and variety of his acquirements, and the distinction with which he had acquitted himself in every branch of study' he had undertaken. They added that he deserved the greater credit because his early disadvantages as an orphan, dependent on his own exertions for a livelihood, had been so great that he had entered college with difficulty, and with heavy conditions. This turned the scale with a committee who had all been poor boys themselves, and justly feared the encroachments of hereditary aristocracy. They perhaps had their misgivings when the young man, in his well-blacked boots, his gray trousers neatly fitting over them, and his diagonal coat buttoned high with one button, stood before them with his thumbs in his waistcoat pockets, and looked down over his mustache at the floor with sentiments concerning their wisdom which they could not explore; they must have resented the fashionable keeping of everything about him, for Bartley wore his one suit as if it were but one of many; but when they understood that he had come by everything through his own unaided smartness, they could no longer hesitate: One, indeed, still felt it a duty to call attention to the fact that the college authorities said nothing of the young man's moral characteristics in a letter dwelling so largely upon his intellectual qualifications. The others referred this point by a silent look to Squire Gaylord.
This casual, joking manner of Bartley's was one of the things that made him popular; he chatted easily and was always engaging right from the start, in a community where his intelligence had earned him a reputation that attracts more smart people per square mile than any other country in the world. His intelligence was strongly affirmed by the authorities of the college he graduated from when he referenced them while negotiating with the committee in charge for the editor position at the Equity Free Press. The faculty praised the depth and range of his knowledge, along with the distinction with which he excelled in every subject he tackled. They noted that he deserved even more credit because his early challenges as an orphan, relying solely on his own efforts for a living, had been so significant that he had entered college with great difficulty and under heavy conditions. This sway worked in favor of a committee that had all been poor boys themselves and justly worried about the rise of hereditary privilege. They might have had their doubts when the young man, wearing well-polished boots, gray trousers fitting neatly over them, and a sharply buttoned diagonal coat, stood before them with his thumbs in his waistcoat pockets, looking down over his mustache at the floor with thoughts about their judgment that they couldn't quite pin down; they likely resented how meticulously he kept himself, as Bartley wore his single suit as if it were just one of many. But once they understood that he had achieved everything through his own sharp wit, they could no longer hesitate. One member did feel it was important to point out that the college authorities had said nothing about the young man's moral qualities in a letter that focused so heavily on his intellectual credentials. The others exchanged a silent glance toward Squire Gaylord to address this point.
“I don't know;” said the Squire, “as I ever heard that a great deal of morality was required by a newspaper editor.” The rest laughed at the joke, and the Squire continued: “But I guess if he worked his own way through college, as they say, that he haint had time to be up to a great deal of mischief. You know it's for idle hands that the Devil provides, doctor.”
“I don’t know,” said the Squire, “if I’ve ever heard that a newspaper editor needs to have a lot of morals.” The others laughed at the joke, and the Squire went on: “But I guess if he funded his own way through college, like they say, he hasn’t had much time to get into trouble. You know it’s idle hands that the Devil tempts, doctor.”
“That's true, as far as it goes,” said the doctor.
“That's true, as far as it goes,” said the doctor.
“But it isn't the whole truth. The Devil provides for some busy hands, too.”
“But that's not the whole truth. The Devil looks out for some busy hands, as well.”
“There's a good deal of sense in that,” the Squire admitted. “The worst scamps I ever knew were active fellows. Still, industry is in a man's favor. If the faculty knew anything against this young man they would have given us a hint of it. I guess we had better take him; we sha'n't do better. Is it a vote?”
“There's a lot of sense in that,” the Squire admitted. “The worst troublemakers I ever knew were active guys. Still, being hardworking is a plus for a man. If the faculty had any concerns about this young man, they would have given us a heads-up. I think we should go for it; we won't find anyone better. Is it a vote?”
The good opinion of Bartley's smartness which Squire Gaylord had formed was confirmed some months later by the development of the fact that the young man did not regard his management of the Equity Free Press as a final vocation. The story went that he lounged into the lawyer's office one Saturday afternoon in October, and asked him to let him take his Blackstone into the woods with him. He came back with it a few hours later.
The positive impression of Bartley's intelligence that Squire Gaylord had formed was backed up a few months later when it became clear that the young man didn't see his role at the Equity Free Press as his ultimate career. The rumor was that he strolled into the lawyer's office one Saturday afternoon in October and asked if he could take his Blackstone into the woods with him. He returned with it a few hours later.
“Well, sir,” said the attorney, sardonically, “how much Blackstone have you read?”
“Well, sir,” said the attorney, sarcastically, “how much Blackstone have you read?”
“About forty pages,” answered the young man, dropping into one of the empty chairs, and hanging his leg over the arm.
“About forty pages,” replied the young man, dropping into one of the empty chairs and hanging his leg over the arm.
The lawyer smiled, and, opening the book, asked half a dozen questions at random. Bartley answered without changing his indifferent countenance, or the careless posture he had fallen into. A sharper and longer examination followed; the very language seemed to have been unbrokenly transferred to his mind, and he often gave the author's words as well as his ideas.
The lawyer smiled, opened the book, and asked a few random questions. Bartley responded without altering his indifferent expression or the relaxed position he had settled into. A more intense and longer questioning followed; it felt like the text had been seamlessly transferred into his mind, and he frequently quoted the author’s words along with his ideas.
“Ever looked at this before?” asked the lawyer, with a keen glance at him over his spectacles.
“Have you ever seen this before?” the lawyer asked, giving him a sharp look over his glasses.
“No,” said Bartley, gaping as if bored, and further relieving his weariness by stretching. He was without deference for any presence; and the old lawyer did not dislike him for this: he had no deference himself.
“No,” said Bartley, yawning as if he was uninterested, and easing his fatigue by stretching. He showed no regard for anyone around him; and the old lawyer didn’t mind this: he had no respect himself.
“You think of studying law?” he asked, after a pause.
“You thinking about studying law?” he asked, after a pause.
“That's what I came to ask you about,” said Bartley, swinging his leg.
“That's what I came to ask you about,” Bartley said, swinging his leg.
The elder recurred to his book, and put some more questions. Then he said, “Do you want to study with me?”
The elder went back to his book and asked a few more questions. Then he said, “Do you want to study with me?”
“That's about the size of it.”
"That's basically it."
He shut the book, and pushed it on the table toward the young man. “Go ahead. You'll get along—if you don't get along too easily.”
He closed the book and slid it across the table to the young man. “Go ahead. You'll manage—if you don't manage too easily.”
It was in the spring after this that Marcia returned home from her last term at boarding-school, and first saw him.
It was in the spring after this that Marcia came back home from her final term at boarding school and first met him.
III.
Bartley woke on Sunday morning with the regrets that a supper of mince-pie and toasted cheese is apt to bring. He woke from a bad dream, and found that he had a dull headache. A cup of coffee relieved his pain, but it left him listless, and with a longing for sympathy which he experienced in any mental or physical discomfort. The frankness with which he then appealed for compassion was one of the things that made people like him; he flung himself upon the pity of the first he met. It might be some one to whom he had said a cutting or mortifying thing at their last encounter, but Bartley did not mind that; what he desired was commiseration, and he confidingly ignored the past in a trust that had rarely been abused. If his sarcasm proved that he was quick and smart, his recourse to those who had suffered from it proved that he did not mean anything by what he said; it showed that he was a man of warm feelings, and that his heart was in the right place.
Bartley woke up on Sunday morning feeling the regrets that typically come from a dinner of mince pie and toasted cheese. He had just come out of a bad dream and realized he had a dull headache. A cup of coffee helped with the pain, but left him feeling listless and craving sympathy, which he often felt during any kind of discomfort, mental or physical. The way he openly sought compassion was part of what made people like him; he threw himself on the pity of the first person he encountered. It could be someone he had said something cutting or embarrassing to during their last meeting, but Bartley didn’t care about that. What he wanted was empathy, and he trustingly overlooked the past, a trust that had rarely been broken. While his sarcasm showed that he was sharp and clever, his tendency to turn to those he had hurt for support proved that he didn’t mean any harm with his words; it showed he was a man with deep feelings and that his heart was in the right place.
Bartley deplored his disagreeable sensations to the other boarders at breakfast, and affectionately excused himself to them for not going to church, when they turned into the office, and gathered there before the Franklin stove, sensible of the day in freshly shaven chins and newly blacked boots. The habit of church-going was so strong and universal in Equity that even strangers stopping at the hotel found themselves the object of a sort of hospitable competition with the members of the different denominations, who took it for granted that they would wish to go somewhere, and only suffered them a choice between sects. There was no intolerance in their offer of pews, but merely a profound expectation, and one might continue to choose his place of worship Sabbath after Sabbath without offence. This was Bartley's custom, and it had worked to his favor rather than his disadvantage: for in the rather chaotic liberality into which religious sentiment had fallen in Equity, it was tacitly conceded that the editor of a paper devoted to the interests of the whole town ought not to be of fixed theological opinions.
Bartley shared his unpleasant feelings with the other guests at breakfast and kindly explained why he wouldn’t be going to church. When they all moved to the office and gathered around the Franklin stove, they were aware of the day, shown by their freshly shaven chins and newly polished boots. The custom of attending church was so strong and widespread in Equity that even tourists at the hotel found themselves caught up in a friendly competition among members of various denominations, who assumed they would want to attend church somewhere and only gave them a choice between different sects. There was no disrespect in their offer of pews, just a deep expectation, and one could keep choosing a place of worship week after week without causing any offense. This was Bartley's routine, and it worked out well for him: in the somewhat chaotic openness of religious attitudes in Equity, it was generally accepted that the editor of a newspaper focused on the interests of the whole town shouldn’t have fixed religious beliefs.
Religion there had largely ceased to be a fact of spiritual experience, and the visible church flourished on condition of providing for the social needs of the community. It was practically held that the salvation of one's soul must not be made too depressing, or the young people would have nothing to do with it. Professors of the sternest creeds temporized with sinners, and did what might be done to win them to heaven by helping them to have a good time here. The church embraced and included the world. It no longer frowned even upon social dancing,—a transgression once so heinous in its eyes; it opened its doors to popular lectures, and encouraged secular music in its basements, where, during the winter, oyster suppers were given in aid of good objects. The Sunday school was made particularly attractive, both to the children and the young men and girls who taught them. Not only at Thanksgiving, but at Christmas, and latterly even at Easter, there were special observances, which the enterprising spirits having the welfare of the church at heart tried to make significant and agreeable to all, and promotive of good feeling. Christenings and marriages in the church were encouraged, and elaborately celebrated; death alone, though treated with cut-flowers in emblematic devices, refused to lend itself to the cheerful intentions of those who were struggling to render the idea of another and a better world less repulsive. In contrast with the relaxation and uncertainty of their doctrinal aim, the rude and bold infidelity of old Squire Gaylord had the greater affinity with the mood of the Puritanism they had outgrown. But Bartley Hubbard liked the religious situation well enough. He took a leading part in the entertainments, and did something to impart to them a literary cast, as in the series of readings from the poets which he gave, the first winter, for the benefit of each church in turn. At these lectures he commended himself to the sober elders, who were troubled by the levity of his behavior with young people on other occasions, by asking one of the ministers to open the exercises with prayer, and another, at the close, to invoke the Divine blessing; there was no especial relevancy in this, but it pleased. He kept himself, from the beginning, pretty constantly in the popular eye. He was a speaker at all public meetings, where his declamation was admired; and at private parties, where the congealed particles of village society were united in a frozen mass, he was the first to break the ice, and set the angular fragments grating and grinding upon one another.
Religion there had mostly stopped being about spiritual experience, and the visible church thrived by meeting the community's social needs. It was commonly believed that salvation shouldn't be too depressing, or the young people would disengage. Even the strictest theologians made compromises with sinners, trying to lead them to heaven by helping them enjoy their time here. The church accepted the world, no longer disapproving of social dancing—a once serious offense in its eyes; it opened its doors to popular lectures and encouraged secular music in its basements, where, during winter, oyster suppers were held for good causes. The Sunday school was designed to be appealing to both children and the young adults who taught them. Special observances took place not just at Thanksgiving, but also at Christmas, and even Easter more recently, which the enthusiastic individuals invested in the church's welfare attempted to make meaningful and enjoyable for everyone, promoting goodwill. Christenings and weddings in the church were encouraged and celebrated with great detail; only death, although adorned with cut flowers in symbolic designs, resisted the cheerful outlook of those trying to soften the idea of a different and better world. In contrast to the relaxed and uncertain doctrinal focus, the blunt and bold disbelief of old Squire Gaylord resonated more closely with the Puritanism they had outgrown. But Bartley Hubbard was quite content with the religious atmosphere. He took a leading role in the events and added a literary touch, such as when he held a series of poetry readings for the benefit of each church in rotation during the first winter. At these lectures, he endeared himself to the serious elders, who were concerned about his casual behavior with youth on other occasions, by asking one minister to open with a prayer and another to close with a blessing; this was not particularly relevant, but it was well-received. From the start, he kept himself consistently visible to the public. He spoke at all public meetings, where he was admired for his eloquence; and at private gatherings, where the rigid particles of village society mingled in awkwardness, he was the first to break the ice, getting the stiff fragments to interact.
He now went to his room, and opened his desk with some vague purpose of bringing up the arrears of his correspondence. Formerly, before his interest in the newspaper had lapsed at all, he used to give his Sunday leisure to making selections and writing paragraphs for it; but he now let the pile of exchanges lie unopened on his desk, and began to rummage through the letters scattered about in it. They were mostly from young ladies with whom he had corresponded, and some of them enclosed the photographs of the writers, doing their best to look as they hoped he might think they looked. They were not love-letters, but were of that sort which the laxness of our social life invites young people, who have met pleasantly, to exchange as long as they like, without explicit intentions on either side; they commit the writers to nothing; they are commonly without result, except in wasting time which is hardly worth saving. Every one who has lived the American life must have produced them in great numbers. While youth lasts, they afford an excitement whose charm is hard to realize afterward.
He headed to his room and opened his desk with a vague intention of catching up on his correspondence. In the past, before he lost interest in the newspaper, he would spend his Sundays selecting and writing pieces for it. But now, he let the stack of unread papers sit untouched on his desk and started sorting through the letters scattered among them. Most were from young women he had corresponded with, and some included photos of the senders, trying their best to look how they hoped he would find them appealing. They weren't love letters, but rather the kind that our laid-back social life encourages young people, who have enjoyed pleasant encounters, to exchange without any clear intentions on either side; they don’t really commit the writers to anything and usually don’t lead to much beyond wasting time that's not really worth saving. Anyone who has lived the American experience has likely written a lot of these. While you’re young, they offer a thrill that’s hard to appreciate later on.
Bartley's correspondents were young ladies of his college town, where he had first begun to see something of social life in days which he now recognized as those of his green youth. They were not so very far removed in point of time; but the experience of a larger world in the vacation he had spent with a Boston student had relegated them to a moral remoteness that could not readily be measured. His friend was the son of a family who had diverted him from the natural destiny of a Boston man at Harvard, and sent him elsewhere for sectarian reasons. They were rich people, devout in their way, and benevolent, after a fashion of their own; and their son always brought home with him, for the holidays and other short vacations, some fellow-student accounted worthy of their hospitality through his religious intentions or his intellectual promise. These guests were indicated to the young man by one of the faculty, and he accepted their companionship for the time with what perfunctory civility he could muster. He and Bartley had amused themselves very well during that vacation. The Hallecks were not fashionable people, but they lived wealthily: they had a coachman and an inside man (whom Bartley at first treated with a consideration, which it afterward mortified him to think of); their house was richly furnished with cushioned seats, dense carpets, and heavy curtains; and they were visited by other people of their denomination, and of a like abundance. Some of these were infected with the prevailing culture of the city, and the young ladies especially dressed in a style and let fall ideas that filled the soul of the country student with wonder and worship. He heard a great deal of talk that he did not understand; but he eagerly treasured every impression, and pieced it out, by question or furtive observation, into an image often shrewdly true, and often grotesquely untrue, to the conditions into which he had been dropped. He civilized himself as rapidly as his light permitted. There was a great deal of church-going; but he and young Halleck went also to lectures and concerts; they even went to the opera, and Bartley, with the privity of his friend, went to the theatre. Halleck said that he did not think there was much harm in a play; but that his people stayed away for the sake of the example,—a reason that certainly need not hold with Bartley.
Bartley's correspondents were young women from his college town, where he first started to experience social life during what he now recognized as his youthful days. They weren’t too far in the past, but his experience of a bigger world during the vacation he spent with a Boston student had pushed them into a moral distance that was hard to measure. His friend was the son of a family that had steered him away from the typical path of a Boston man at Harvard and sent him elsewhere for religious reasons. They were affluent, devout in their own way, and benevolent according to their own standards. Their son always brought home a fellow student for the holidays or other short breaks, someone deemed worthy of their hospitality due to his religious goals or intellectual potential. A faculty member suggested these guests to the young man, and he accepted their company with whatever polite indifference he could manage. He and Bartley had a great time during that vacation. The Hallecks weren't flashy people, but they lived comfortably; they had a chauffeur and a housekeeper (whom Bartley initially treated with respect, which he later felt embarrassed about); their home was lavishly decorated with cushioned seats, thick carpets, and heavy curtains. They also had visitors from their religious community and others of similar wealth. Some of these guests were influenced by the city's culture, and the young women, in particular, dressed in styles and shared ideas that left the country student in awe. He absorbed a lot of conversations he didn’t fully understand but eagerly held onto every impression, piecing together a picture—sometimes surprisingly accurate, and sometimes wildly off—of the situation he found himself in. He tried to adapt as quickly as he could. There was a lot of churchgoing, but he and young Halleck also attended lectures and concerts; they even went to the opera, and Bartley, with his friend’s agreement, checked out the theatre. Halleck mentioned that he didn’t see much harm in a play, but his family chose to avoid it for the sake of setting a good example—a reason that definitely didn’t apply to Bartley.
At the end of the vacation he returned to college, leaving his measure with Halleck's tailor, and his heart with all the splendors and elegances of the town. He found the ceilings very low and the fashions much belated in the village; but he reconciled himself as well as he could. The real stress came when he left college and the question of doing something for himself pressed upon him. He intended to study law, but he must meantime earn his living. It had been his fortune to be left, when very young, not only an orphan, but an extremely pretty child, with an exceptional aptness for study; and he had been better cared for than if his father and mother had lived. He had been not only well housed and fed, and very well dressed, but pitied as an orphan, and petted for his beauty and talent, while he was always taught to think of himself as a poor boy, who was winning his own way through the world. But when his benefactor proposed to educate him for the ministry, with a view to his final use in missionary work, he revolted. He apprenticed himself to the printer of his village, and rapidly picked up a knowledge of the business, so that at nineteen he had laid by some money, and was able to think of going to college. There was a fund in aid of indigent students in the institution to which he turned, and the faculty favored him. He finished his course with great credit to himself and the college, and he was naturally inclined to look upon what had been done for him earlier as an advantage taken of his youthful inexperience. He rebelled against the memory of that tutelage, in spite of which he had accomplished such great things. If he had not squandered his time or fallen into vicious courses in circumstances of so much discouragement, if he had come out of it all self-reliant and independent, he knew whom he had to thank for it. The worst of the matter was that there was some truth in all this.
At the end of the vacation, he went back to college, leaving his measurements with Halleck's tailor and his heart with all the attractions and sophistication of the city. He found the ceilings very low and the styles outdated in the village, but he adjusted as best as he could. The real challenge came when he finished college and the need to do something for himself weighed heavily on him. He planned to study law, but in the meantime, he needed to make a living. He had been left an orphan at a very young age, but he was also an exceptionally attractive child with a real talent for learning; he had been taken care of better than if his parents had been alive. Not only was he well housed, fed, and dressed, but he was also pitied as an orphan and adored for his looks and skills, all while being taught to see himself as a poor boy forging his own path in the world. However, when his benefactor suggested he be educated for the ministry to ultimately serve in missionary work, he resisted. He apprenticed with the printer in his village and quickly learned the trade, so by the time he was nineteen, he had saved some money and could think about attending college. There was a fund for needy students at the college he applied to, and the faculty supported him. He completed his degree with great distinction for both himself and the college, and he naturally began to view the assistance he had received earlier as taking advantage of his youthful naivety. He resented the memory of that mentorship, even though it had led him to achieve significant success. If he hadn’t wasted his time or succumbed to bad habits in such disheartening circumstances, if he emerged self-reliant and independent, he knew who to thank for it. The worst part was that there was some truth to this.
The ardor of his satisfaction cooled in the two years following his graduation, when in intervals of teaching country schools he was actually reduced to work at his trade on a village newspaper. But it was as a practical printer, through the freemasonry of the craft, that Bartley heard of the wish of the Equity committee to place the Free Press in new hands, and he had to be grateful to his trade for a primary consideration from them which his collegiate honors would not have won him. There had not yet begun to be that talk of journalism as a profession which has since prevailed with our collegians, and if Bartley had thought, as other collegians think, of devoting himself to newspaper life, he would have turned his face toward the city where its prizes are won,—the ten and fifteen dollar reporterships for which a font years' course of the classics is not too costly a preparation. But, to tell the truth, he had never regarded his newspaper as anything but a make-shift, by which he was to be carried over a difficult and anxious period of his life, and enabled to attempt something worthier his powers. He had no illusions concerning it; if he had ever thought of journalism as a grand and ennobling profession, these ideas had perished, in his experience in a village printing-office. He came to his work in Equity with practical and immediate purposes which pleased the committee better. The paper had been established some time before, in one of those flurries of ambition which from time to time seized Equity, when its citizens reflected that it was the central town in the county, and yet not the shire-town. The question of the removal of the county-seat had periodically arisen before; but it had never been so hotly agitated as now. The paper had been a happy thought of a local politician, whose conception of its management was that it might be easily edited by a committee, if a printer could be found to publish it; but a few months' experience had made the Free Press a terrible burden to its founders; it could not be sustained, and it could not be let die without final disaster to the interests of the town; and the committee began to cast about for a publisher who could also be editor. Bartley, to whom it fell, could not be said to have thrown his heart and soul into the work, but he threw all his energy, and he made it more than its friends could have hoped. He espoused the cause of Equity in the pending question with the zeal of a condottiere, and did service no less faithful because of the cynical quality latent in it. When the legislative decision against Equity put an end to its ambitious hopes for the time being, he continued in control of the paper, with a fair prospect of getting the property into his own hands at last, and with some growing question in his mind whether, after all, it might not be as easy for him to go into politics from the newspaper as from the law. He managed the office very economically, and by having the work done by girl apprentices, with the help of one boy, he made it self-supporting. He modelled the newspaper upon the modern conception, through which the country press must cease to have any influence in public affairs, and each paper become little more than an open letter of neighborhood gossip. But while he filled his sheet with minute chronicles of the goings and comings of unimportant persons, and with all attainable particulars of the ordinary life of the different localities, he continued to make spicy hits at the enemies of Equity in the late struggle, and kept the public spirit of the town alive. He had lately undertaken to make known its advantages as a summer resort, and had published a series of encomiums upon the beauty of its scenery and the healthfulness of its air and water, which it was believed would put it in a position of rivalry with some of the famous White Mountain places. He invited the enterprise of outside capital, and advocated a narrow-gauge road up the valley of the river through the Notch, so as to develop the picturesque advantages of that region. In all this, the color of mockery let the wise perceive that Bartley saw the joke and enjoyed it, and it deepened the popular impression of his smartness.
The excitement of his satisfaction faded during the two years after he graduated, as he spent time teaching at rural schools and even had to work at his trade on a local newspaper. But it was through the connections he made as a practical printer that Bartley learned about the Equity committee's desire to pass the Free Press on to new ownership, and he had to acknowledge his trade for giving him a primary chance that his college achievements wouldn’t have earned him. There wasn’t yet a lot of discussion about journalism as a profession among college students, and if Bartley had thought, like others, about dedicating himself to newspaper work, he would have aimed for the city where those opportunities lay—the ten and fifteen dollar reporting jobs that required five years of a classical education to prepare for. However, honestly, he had never viewed his newspaper job as anything more than a temporary solution to get him through a tough and uncertain time in his life, allowing him to strive for something more fitting for his abilities. He was realistic about it; if he ever thought of journalism as a noble profession, those notions had faded during his time in a village printing office. He approached his work at Equity with practical, immediate goals that the committee appreciated more. The paper had been created earlier during one of those bursts of ambition that occasionally struck Equity when its residents realized it was the central town in the county but not the county seat. The issue of relocating the county seat had come up before but had never been as hotly debated as it was now. The paper was a bright idea from a local politician, who thought it could be easily run by a committee if a printer could be found to publish it; however, a few months in, the Free Press had become a heavy burden for its founders. It couldn’t be sustained, and they couldn’t let it die without causing serious harm to the town’s interests, so the committee began looking for someone who could serve as both publisher and editor. Bartley took this role; while he wouldn’t say he invested his heart and soul into the work, he put in all his energy and exceeded what its supporters could have hoped for. He passionately championed Equity’s cause in the current debate, serving faithfully despite an underlying cynicism. When the legislature’s decision rejecting Equity put a hold on its ambitious dreams for now, he retained control of the paper with a reasonable chance of eventually owning it, along with some growing uncertainty about whether it might be just as easy to enter politics through the newspaper as through law. He managed the office very frugally, utilizing girl apprentices and one boy to keep it self-sufficient. He reshaped the newspaper according to the modern approach, making sure country presses would lose their influence in public matters, turning each paper into little more than a platform for neighborhood gossip. But while he filled his columns with detailed accounts of the mundane activities of unremarkable people and all the accessible details of regular life in various locales, he also delivered sharp critiques of Equity’s adversaries from the recent conflict, maintaining the town’s civic spirit. He had recently begun promoting its perks as a summer getaway, publishing a series of praises for the beauty of its scenery and the healthiness of its air and water, which many believed would allow it to compete with some of the renowned spots in the White Mountains. He encouraged outside investment in local ventures and advocated for a narrow-gauge railway up the river valley through the Notch to highlight the picturesque qualities of that area. Throughout all this, a hint of mockery made it clear to the perceptive that Bartley understood the irony and relished it, further cementing the local impression of his cleverness.
This vein of cynicism was not characteristic, as it would have been in an older man; it might have been part of that spiritual and intellectual unruliness of youth, which people laugh at and forgive, and which one generally regards in after life as something almost alien to one's self. He wrote long, bragging articles about Equity, in a tone bordering on burlesque, and he had a department in his paper where he printed humorous squibs of his own and of other people; these were sometimes copied, and in the daily papers of the State he had been mentioned as “the funny man of the Equity Free Press.” He also sent letters to one of the Boston journals, which he reproduced in his own sheet, and which gave him an importance that the best endeavor as a country editor would never have won him with the villagers. He would naturally, as the local printer, have ranked a little above the foreman of the saw-mill in the social scale, and decidedly below the master of the Academy; but his personal qualities elevated him over the head even of the latter. But above all, the fact that he was studying law was a guaranty of his superiority that nothing else could have given; that science is the fountain of the highest distinction in a country town. Bartley's whole course implied that he was above editing the Free Press, but that he did it because it served his turn. That was admirable.
This cynical attitude was unusual for someone his age; it might have been part of the rebellious spirit of youth that people tend to laugh at and excuse, often looking back on it later as something almost foreign to themselves. He wrote long, boastful articles about Equity in a style that was almost mocking, and he had a section in his paper where he published funny pieces, both his own and others'. Some of these were picked up, and he was referred to in the state's daily papers as “the funny man of the Equity Free Press.” He also wrote letters to one of the Boston journals that he reprinted in his own publication, which gave him a level of importance that a typical country editor could never achieve with the locals. As the local printer, he would typically rank slightly above the foreman of the sawmill on the social ladder, but clearly below the head of the Academy; however, his personal character pushed him above even that person. More than anything, the fact that he was studying law assured his superiority in a way nothing else could; that profession is seen as the source of the highest prestige in a small town. Bartley's entire approach suggested he was too good to be editing the Free Press, but he did it because it was beneficial for him. That was impressive.
He sat a long time with these girls' letters before him, and lost himself in a pensive reverie over their photographs, and over the good times he used to have with them. He mused in that formless way in which a young man thinks about young girls; his soul is suffused with a sense of their sweetness and brightness, and unless he is distinctly in love there is no intention in his thoughts of them; even then there is often no intention. Bartley might very well have a good conscience about them; he had broken no hearts among them, and had only met them half-way in flirtation. What he really regretted, as he held their letters in his hand, was that he had never got up a correspondence with two or three of the girls whom he had met in Boston. Though he had been cowed by their magnificence in the beginning, he had never had any reverence for them; he believed that they would have liked very well to continue his acquaintance; but he had not known how to open a correspondence, and the point was one on which he was ashamed to consult Halleck. These college belles, compared with them, were amusingly inferior; by a natural turn of thought, he realized that they were inferior to Marcia Gaylord, too, in looks and style, no less than in an impassioned preference for himself. A distaste for their somewhat veteran ways in flirtation grew upon him as he thought of her; he philosophized against them to her advantage; he could not blame her if she did not know how to hide her feelings for him. Yet he knew that Marcia would rather have died than let him suppose that she cared for him, if she had known that she was doing it. The fun of it was, that she should not know; this charmed him, it touched him, even; he did not think of it exultingly, as the night before, but sweetly, fondly, and with a final curiosity to see her again, and enjoy the fact in her presence. The acrid little jets of smoke which escaped from the joints of his stove from time to time annoyed him; he shut his portfolio at last, and went out to walk.
He spent a long time with the letters from these girls in front of him, getting lost in a thoughtful daydream as he looked at their photos and remembered the good times he had with them. He pondered in that vague way young men think about young women; he felt filled with their sweetness and brightness, and unless he was truly in love, there was no intention behind his thoughts about them; even then, there often wasn't any intention. Bartley could feel good about them; he had never broken any hearts and had only flirted with them a little. What he really regretted, while holding their letters, was that he never started a correspondence with a couple of girls he had met in Boston. Though he had initially been intimidated by their beauty, he never really revered them; he believed they would have been happy to keep in touch with him. However, he didn’t know how to start writing to them, and he felt too embarrassed to ask Halleck for help. Compared to them, the college girls seemed amusingly inferior; naturally, he realized they were also less attractive than Marcia Gaylord, not just in looks and style but also in their passionate preference for him. As he thought of Marcia, he began to dislike their somewhat outdated ways of flirting; he contemplated their shortcomings, favoring her. He couldn’t blame her for not hiding her feelings for him, yet he knew Marcia would rather die than let him think she cared for him if she realized she was doing so. The funny part was that she didn’t know; this fascinated him, even touched him; he didn’t think about it triumphantly like the night before, but sweetly, fondly, and with a final curiosity to see her again and enjoy it in her company. The sharp little puffs of smoke that occasionally seeped from the joints of his stove irritated him; finally, he closed his portfolio and went out for a walk.
IV.
The forenoon sunshine, beating strong upon the thin snow along the edges of the porch floor, tattered them with a little thaw here and there; but it had no effect upon the hard-packed levels of the street, up the middle of which Bartley walked in a silence intensified by the muffled voices of exhortation that came to him out of the churches. It was in the very heart of sermon-time, and he had the whole street to himself on his way up to Squire Gaylord's house. As he drew near, he saw smoke ascending from the chimney of the lawyer's office,—a little white building that stood apart from the dwelling on the left of the gate, and he knew that the old man was within, reading there, with his hat on and his long legs flung out toward the stove, unshaven and unkempt, in a grim protest against the prevalent Christian superstition. He might be reading Hume or Gibbon, or he might be reading the Bible,—a book in which he was deeply versed, and from which he was furnished with texts for the demolition of its friends, his adversaries. He professed himself a great admirer of its literature, and, in the heat of controversy, he often found himself a defender of its doctrines when he had occasion to expose the fallacy of latitudinarian interpretations. For liberal Christianity he had nothing but contempt, and refuted it with a scorn which spared none of the worldly tendencies of the church in Equity. The idea that souls were to be saved by church sociables filled him with inappeasable rancor; and he maintained the superiority of the old Puritanic discipline against them with a fervor which nothing but its re-establishment could have abated. It was said that Squire Gaylord's influence had largely helped to keep in place the last of the rigidly orthodox ministers, under whom his liberalizing congregation chafed for years of discontent; but this was probably an exaggeration of the native humor. Mrs. Gaylord had belonged to this church, and had never formally withdrawn from it, and the lawyer always contributed to pay the minister's salary. He also managed a little property for him so well as to make him independent when he was at last asked to resign by his deacons.
The morning sun, shining brightly on the thin layer of snow along the edges of the porch, began to melt it a little in spots; but it didn’t affect the hard-packed surface of the street, which Bartley walked down in silence, interrupted only by the muffled voices from the churches around him. It was peak sermon time, and the whole street was his as he made his way to Squire Gaylord's house. As he got closer, he noticed smoke rising from the chimney of the lawyer's office—a small white building separate from the house on the left of the gate—and he knew the old man was inside, reading with his hat on and his long legs stretched out toward the stove, unshaven and disheveled, as a form of protest against the common Christian beliefs. He could have been reading Hume or Gibbon, or he might have been reading the Bible—a book he knew very well and used to support his arguments against its supporters. He claimed to really appreciate its literature and, in the heat of debate, often defended its doctrines when he needed to challenge the flawed interpretations of others. He had nothing but disdain for liberal Christianity, dismissing it with a contempt that highlighted the church's worldly tendencies. The idea that souls could be saved through church social events filled him with intense anger; he argued passionately for the superiority of old Puritan discipline, a fervor that could only have been eased by its return. People said Squire Gaylord's influence played a significant role in keeping the last strictly orthodox minister in place, under whom his liberal congregation suffered years of frustration; but this was likely an exaggerated take on his naturally humorous character. Mrs. Gaylord had been a member of this church and had never formally left it, and the lawyer always contributed to the minister's salary. He even managed a small property for him well enough to ensure the minister's independence when he was finally asked to resign by his deacons.
In another mood, Bartley might have stepped aside to look in on the Squire, before asking at the house door for Marcia. They relished each other's company, as people of contrary opinions and of no opinions are apt to do. Bartley loved to hear the Squire get going, as he said, and the old man felt a fascination in the youngster. Bartley was smart; he took a point as quick as lightning; and the Squire did not mind his making friends with the Mammon of Righteousness, as he called the visible church in Equity. It amused him to see Bartley lending the church the zealous support of the press, with an impartial patronage of the different creeds. There had been times in his own career when the silence of his opinions would have greatly advanced him, but he had not chosen to pay this price for success; he liked his freedom, or he liked the bitter tang of his own tongue too well, and he had remained a leading lawyer in Equity, when he might have ended a judge, or even a Congressman. Of late years, however, since people whom he could have joined in their agnosticism so heartily, up to a certain point, had begun to make such fools of themselves about Darwinism and the brotherhood of all men in the monkey, he had grown much more tolerant. He still clung to his old-fashioned deistical opinions; but he thought no worse of a man for not holding them; he did not deny that a man might be a Christian, and still be a very good man.
In a different mood, Bartley might have stepped aside to check in on the Squire before asking at the door for Marcia. They enjoyed each other’s company, as people with opposing views and no strong opinions often do. Bartley loved to hear the Squire get started, as he said, and the old man found the young guy fascinating. Bartley was quick-witted; he picked up on things as fast as lightning, and the Squire didn’t mind him getting close to what he called the Mammon of Righteousness, referring to the visible church in Equity. It amused him to see Bartley actively supporting the church through the press, treating the different beliefs fairly. There were times in his own career when keeping quiet about his opinions could have really helped him, but he didn’t want to pay that price for success; he valued his freedom too much, or he enjoyed the sharpness of his own words too much, and he stayed a leading lawyer in Equity instead of potentially becoming a judge or even a Congressman. In recent years, however, since people he could have vibed with in their agnosticism had started to act foolishly about Darwinism and the idea of all men being related to monkeys, he had become much more tolerant. He still held on to his old-fashioned deistic beliefs, but he didn’t think any less of someone for not sharing them; he acknowledged that a person could be a Christian and still be a really good person.
The audacious humor of his position sufficed with a people who liked a joke rather better than anything else; in his old age, his infidelity was something that would hardly have been changed, if possible, by a popular vote. Even his wife, to whom it had once been a heavy cross, borne with secret prayer and tears, had long ceased to gainsay it in any wise. Her family had opposed her yoking with an unbeliever when she married him, but she had some such hopes of converting him as women cherish who give themselves to men confirmed in drunkenness. She learned, as other women do, that she could hardly change her husband in the least of his habits, and that, in this great matter of his unbelief, her love was powerless. It became easier at last for her to add self-sacrifice to self-sacrifice than to vex him with her anxieties about his soul, and to act upon the feeling that, if he must be lost, then she did not care to be saved. He had never interfered with her church-going; he had rather promoted it, for he liked to have women go; but the time came when she no longer cared to go without him; she lapsed from her membership, and it was now many years since she had worshipped with the people of her faith, if, indeed, she were still of any faith. Her life was silenced in every way, and, as often happens with aging wives in country towns, she seldom went out of her own door, and never appeared at the social or public solemnities of the village. Her husband and her daughter composed and bounded her world,—she always talked of them, or of other things as related to them. She had grown an elderly woman, without losing the color of her yellow hair; and the bloom of girlhood had been stayed in her cheeks as if by the young habit of blushing, which she had kept. She was still what her neighbors called very pretty-appearing, and she must have been a beautiful girl. The silence of her inward life subdued her manner, till now she seemed always to have come from some place on which a deep hush had newly fallen.
The bold humor of his situation appealed to a people who preferred a good laugh above all else; in his old age, his unfaithfulness was something that wouldn’t have changed, even with a popular vote. Even his wife, who once found it a heavy burden that she endured with quiet prayer and tears, had long stopped opposing it in any way. Her family had objected to her marrying a non-believer, but she had hoped to convert him, like many women do when they commit to men who are chronic drunks. She realized, as many women do, that she could hardly change any of his habits, and that, in this significant matter of his disbelief, her love was useless. Eventually, it became easier for her to keep sacrificing for him than to bother him with her worries about his soul, convincing herself that if he was to be lost, she didn’t care to be saved. He had never stopped her from going to church; in fact, he encouraged it because he liked having women attend. But the time came when she no longer wanted to go without him; she fell away from her church, and it had been many years since she worshipped with her faith community, if she even had any faith left. Her life had quieted in every way, and, as often happens with older wives in small towns, she rarely left her home and never participated in the village’s social or public events. Her husband and daughter made up her entire world—she always spoke of them or about things related to them. She had become an older woman without losing the color of her yellow hair; the blush of her youth lingered in her cheeks as if she had kept the habit of blushing. She was still what her neighbors called quite pretty, and she must have been a beautiful girl. The quiet of her inner life softened her demeanor, giving her the impression that she had just come from a place where a deep silence had recently settled.
She answered the door when Bartley turned the crank that snapped the gong-bell in its centre; and the young man, who was looking at the street while waiting for some one to come, confronted her with a start. “Oh!” he said, “I thought it was Marcia. Good morning, Mrs. Gaylord. Isn't Marcia at home?”
She answered the door when Bartley turned the crank that rang the bell in the center; and the young man, who was watching the street while waiting for someone to arrive, was startled to see her. “Oh!” he said, “I thought it was Marcia. Good morning, Mrs. Gaylord. Is Marcia not home?”
“She went to church, this morning,” replied her mother. “Won't you walk in?”
“She went to church this morning,” replied her mother. “Won't you come in?”
“Why, yes, I guess I will, thank you,” faltered Bartley, in the irresolution of his disappointment. “I hope I sha'n't disturb you.”
“Sure, I guess I will, thanks,” Bartley hesitated, feeling the weight of his disappointment. “I hope I won’t interrupt you.”
“Come right into the sitting-room. She won't be gone a great while, now,” said Mrs. Gaylord, leading the way to the large square room into which a door at the end of the narrow hall opened. A slumberous heat from a sheet-iron wood-stove pervaded the place, and a clock ticked monotonously on a shelf in the corner. Mrs. Gaylord said, “Won't you take a chair?” and herself sank into the rocker, with a deep feather cushion in the seat, and a thinner feather cushion tied half-way up the back. After the more active duties of her housekeeping were done, she sat every day in this chair with her knitting or sewing, and let the clock tick the long hours of her life away, with no more apparent impatience of them, or sense of their dulness, than the cat on the braided rug at her feet, or the geraniums in the pots at the sunny window. “Are you pretty well to-day?” she asked.
“Come right into the living room. She won't be gone long now,” said Mrs. Gaylord, leading the way into the large square room at the end of the narrow hall. A warm, lazy heat from a metal wood stove filled the space, and a clock ticked monotonously on a shelf in the corner. Mrs. Gaylord said, “Would you like to sit down?” and settled into the rocking chair, which had a deep feather cushion in the seat and a thinner feather cushion tied halfway up the back. After finishing her more active housekeeping tasks, she would sit in this chair every day with her knitting or sewing, letting the clock tick through the long hours of her life, showing no more impatience or sense of dullness than the cat on the braided rug at her feet or the geraniums in pots by the sunny window. “Are you feeling okay today?” she asked.
“Well, no, Mrs. Gaylord, I'm not,” answered Bartley. “I'm all out of sorts. I haven't felt so dyspeptic for I don't know how long.”
“Well, no, Mrs. Gaylord, I’m not,” Bartley replied. “I’m feeling really off. I haven’t felt this out of sorts in ages.”
Mrs. Gaylord smoothed the silk dress across her lap,—the thin old black silk which she still instinctively put on for Sabbath observance, though it was so long since she had worn it to church. “Mr. Gaylord used to have it when we were first married, though he aint been troubled with it of late years. He seemed to think then it was worse Sundays.”
Mrs. Gaylord adjusted the silk dress on her lap—the delicate old black silk that she still habitually wore for Sabbath observance, even though it had been a long time since she’d worn it to church. “Mr. Gaylord used to have it when we first got married, although he hasn’t been bothered by it lately. He thought it was worse on Sundays.”
“I don't believe Sunday has much to do with it, in my case. I ate some mince-pie and some toasted cheese last night, and I guess they didn't agree with me very well,” said Bartley, who did not spare himself the confession of his sins when seeking sympathy: it was this candor that went so far to convince people of his good-heartedness.
“I don't think Sunday really has anything to do with it for me. I had some mince pie and toasted cheese last night, and I guess they didn't sit well with me,” said Bartley, who didn’t hold back on admitting his faults when looking for sympathy: it was this honesty that helped convince people of his good nature.
“I don't know as I ever heard that meat-pie was bad,” said Mrs. Gaylord, thoughtfully. “Mr. Gaylord used to eat it right along all through his dyspepsia, and he never complained of it. And the cheese ought to have made it digest.”
“I don't think I've ever heard that meat pie is bad,” Mrs. Gaylord said thoughtfully. “Mr. Gaylord used to eat it all the time during his indigestion, and he never complained about it. Plus, the cheese should have helped with digestion.”
“Well, I don't know what it was,” replied Bartley, plaintively submitting to be exonerated, “but I feel perfectly used up. Oh, I suppose I shall get over it, or forget all about it, by to-morrow,” he added, with strenuous cheerfulness. “It isn't anything worth minding.”
“Well, I’m not sure what it was,” Bartley replied, feeling defeated and hoping to be cleared of blame. “But I feel completely drained. Oh, I guess I’ll get over it or forget all about it by tomorrow,” he added, forcing a bright attitude. “It’s not something worth worrying about.”
Mrs. Gaylord seemed to differ with him on this point. “Head ache any?” she asked.
Mrs. Gaylord seemed to disagree with him on this point. “Got a headache?” she asked.
“It did this morning, when I first woke up,” Bartley assented.
“It did this morning, when I first woke up,” Bartley agreed.
“I don't believe but what a cup of tea would be the best thing for you,” she said, critically.
“I think a cup of tea would be the best thing for you,” she said, critically.
Bartley had instinctively practised a social art which ingratiated him with people at Equity as much as his demands for sympathy endeared him: he gave trouble in little unusual ways. He now said, “Oh, I wish you would give me a cup, Mrs. Gaylord.”
Bartley had instinctively developed a social skill that endeared him to people at Equity just as much as his need for sympathy. He created a bit of trouble in small, unexpected ways. He then said, “Oh, I wish you would give me a cup, Mrs. Gaylord.”
“Why, yes, indeed! That's just what I was going to,” she replied. She went to the kitchen, which lay beyond another room, and reappeared with the tea directly, proud of her promptness, but having it on her conscience to explain it. “I 'most always keep the pot on the stove hearth, Sunday morning, so's to have it ready if Mr. Gaylord ever wants a cup. He's a master hand for tea, and always was. There: I guess you better take it without milk. I put some sugar in the saucer, if you want any.” She dropped noiselessly upon her feather cushion again, and Bartley, who had risen to receive the tea from her, remained standing while he drank it.
“Of course! That's exactly what I was going to do,” she replied. She headed to the kitchen, which was through another room, and quickly returned with the tea, feeling proud of how fast she was, but needing to explain herself. “I usually keep the pot on the stove on Sunday mornings, so it’s ready in case Mr. Gaylord wants a cup. He’s always been great at making tea. There: I think you should probably have it without milk. I put some sugar in the saucer if you want any.” She quietly settled back onto her feather cushion, and Bartley, who had stood up to take the tea from her, stayed standing while he drank it.
“That does seem to go to the spot,” he said, as he sipped it, thoughtfully observant of its effect upon his disagreeable feelings. “I wish I had you to take care of me, Mrs. Gaylord, and keep me from making a fool of myself,” he added, when he had drained the cup. “No, no!” he cried, at her offering to take it from him. “I'll set it down. I know it will fret you to have it in here, and I'll carry it out into the kitchen.” He did so before she could prevent him, and came back, touching his mustache with his handkerchief. “I declare, Mrs. Gaylord, I should love to live in a kitchen like that.”
“That's really hitting the spot,” he said, sipping it and thoughtfully noticing how it affected his bad mood. “I wish I had you to take care of me, Mrs. Gaylord, and stop me from making a fool of myself,” he added after finishing the cup. “No, no!” he exclaimed as she offered to take it from him. “I'll just put it down. I know it’ll annoy you to have it in here, so I'll take it out to the kitchen.” He did this before she could stop him and returned, wiping his mustache with his handkerchief. “Honestly, Mrs. Gaylord, I would love to live in a kitchen like that.”
“I guess you wouldn't if you had to,” said Mrs. Gaylord, flattered into a smile. “Marcia, she likes to sit out there, she says, better than anywheres in the house. But I always tell her it's because she was there so much when she was little. I don't see as she seems over-anxious to do anything there but sit, I tell her. Not but what she knows how well enough. Mr. Gaylord, too, he's great for being round in the kitchen. If he gets up in the night, when he has his waking spells, he had rather take his lamp out there, if there's a fire left, and read, any time, than what he would in the parlor. Well, we used to sit there together a good deal when we were young, and he got the habit of it. There's everything in habit,” she added, thoughtfully. “Marcia, she's got quite in the way, lately, of going to the Methodist church.”
“I guess you wouldn’t if you had to,” said Mrs. Gaylord, smiling with a hint of flattery. “Marcia likes to sit out there; she says it’s better than anywhere else in the house. But I always tell her it’s because she spent so much time there when she was little. I don’t see that she’s really eager to do anything there except sit, I tell her. Not that she doesn’t know how to do other things. Mr. Gaylord, too, is really good at hanging around in the kitchen. If he wakes up in the night, during his restless moments, he would rather take his lamp out there, if there’s a fire going, and read than spend time in the parlor. We used to sit there together a lot when we were young, and he got into the habit of it. There’s a lot to be said for habit,” she added, thoughtfully. “Marcia has also recently gotten into the routine of going to the Methodist church.”
“Yes, I've seen her there. You know I board round at the different churches, as the schoolmaster used to at the houses in the old times.”
“Yes, I've seen her there. You know I go around to the different churches, like the schoolmaster used to visit the houses back in the old days.”
Mi's. Gaylord looked up at the clock, and gave a little nervous laugh. “I don't know what Marcia will say to my letting her company stay in the sitting-room. She's pretty late to-day. But I guess you won't have much longer to wait, now.”
Mi's. Gaylord looked up at the clock and let out a little nervous laugh. “I don’t know what Marcia will think about me letting her company hang out in the sitting room. She’s pretty late today. But I guess you won’t have to wait much longer now.”
She spoke with that awe of her daughter and her judgments which is one of the pathetic idiosyncrasies of a certain class of American mothers. They feel themselves to be not so well educated as their daughters, whose fancied knowledge of the world they let outweigh their own experience of life; they are used to deferring to them, and they shrink willingly into household drudges before them, and leave them to order the social affairs of the family. Mrs. Gaylord was not much afraid of Bartley for himself, but as Marcia's company he made her more and more uneasy toward the end of the quarter of an hour in which she tried to entertain him with her simple talk, varying from Mr. Gaylord to Marcia, and from Marcia to Mr. Gaylord again. When she recognized the girl's quick touch in the closing of the front door, and her elastic step approached through the hall, the mother made a little deprecating noise in her throat, and fidgeted in her chair. As soon as Marcia opened the sitting-room door, Mrs. Gaylord modestly rose and went out into the kitchen: the mother who remained in the room when her daughter had company was an oddity almost unknown in Equity.
She spoke with that admiration for her daughter and her opinions that is one of the sad quirks of a certain group of American mothers. They feel less educated than their daughters, whose imagined knowledge of the world they allow to overshadow their own life experiences; they have gotten used to deferring to them and willingly shrink into household tasks in front of them, leaving them to manage the family’s social affairs. Mrs. Gaylord wasn’t really afraid of Bartley himself, but as Marcia's companion, he made her increasingly uneasy toward the end of the fifteen minutes she spent trying to entertain him with her simple conversation, bouncing between Mr. Gaylord and Marcia, then back again. When she sensed the girl's quick touch at the closing of the front door and heard her light footsteps approaching through the hallway, the mother made a small, self-conscious noise in her throat and shifted in her seat. As soon as Marcia opened the sitting-room door, Mrs. Gaylord modestly stood up and went out into the kitchen: a mother who stayed in the room when her daughter had company was practically unheard of in Equity.
Marcia's face flashed all into a light of joy at sight of Bartley, who scarcely waited for her mother to be gone before he drew her toward him by the hand she had given. She mechanically yielded; and then, as if the recollection of some new resolution forced itself through her pleasure at sight of him, she freed her hand, and, retreating a step or two, confronted him.
Marcia's face lit up with joy when she saw Bartley, who barely waited for her mother to leave before he took her hand. She instinctively went along with it, but then, as if a new resolution pushed its way through her happiness at seeing him, she pulled her hand away and stepped back a bit to face him.
“Why, Marcia,” he said, “what's the matter?”
“Why, Marcia,” he said, “what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she answered.
“Nothing,” she replied.
It might have amused Bartley, if he had felt quite well, to see the girl so defiant of him, when she was really so much in love with him, but it certainly did not amuse him now: it disappointed him in his expectation of finding her femininely soft and comforting, and he did not know just what to do. He stood staring at her in discomfiture, while she gained in outward composure, though her cheeks were of the Jacqueminot red of the ribbon at her throat. “What have I done, Marcia?” he faltered.
It might have amused Bartley, if he had been feeling well, to see the girl so defiant toward him when she was really so in love with him, but it definitely didn’t amuse him now: it let him down in his expectation of finding her gently soft and comforting, and he didn’t know exactly what to do. He stood there staring at her in confusion, while she became more composed on the surface, even though her cheeks were as red as the ribbon at her throat. “What did I do, Marcia?” he asked hesitantly.
“Oh, you haven't done anything.”
“Oh, you haven't done anything yet.”
“Some one has been talking to you against me.”
“Someone has been saying things about me to you.”
“No one has said a word to me about you.”
“No one has said anything to me about you.”
“Then why are you so cold—so strange—so—so—different?”
“Then why are you so distant—so unusual—so—so—different?”
“Different?”
"Different?"
“Yes, from what you were last night,” he answered, with an aggrieved air.
“Yes, from what you were like last night,” he replied, sounding upset.
“Oh, we see some things differently by daylight,” she lightly explained. “Won't you sit down?”
“Oh, we see things differently in the daylight,” she said casually. “Would you like to sit down?”
“No, thank you,” Bartley replied, sadly but unresentfully. “I think I had better be going. I see there is something wrong—”
“No, thank you,” Bartley said, feeling sad but without any resentment. “I think it’s best if I head out. I can tell something’s not right—”
“I don't see why you say there is anything wrong,” she retorted. “What have I done?”
“I don't get why you think there's anything wrong,” she shot back. “What have I done?”
“Oh, you have not done anything; I take it back. It is all right. But when I came here this morning—encouraged—hoping—that you had the same feeling as myself, and you seem to forget everything but a ceremonious acquaintanceship—why, it is all right, of course. I have no reason to complain; but I must say that I can't help being surprised.” He saw her lips quiver and her bosom heave. “Marcia, do you blame me for feeling hurt at your coldness when I came here to tell you—to tell you I—I love you?” With his nerves all unstrung, and his hunger for sympathy, he really believed that he had come to tell her this. “Yes,” he added, bitterly, “I will tell you, though it seems to be the last word I shall speak to you. I'll go, now.”
“Oh, you haven’t done anything; I take it back. It's all good. But when I got here this morning—feeling hopeful—thinking that you felt the same way I do, it seems like you only remember our formal acquaintance—well, it’s fine, of course. I have no reason to complain; but I have to say I can’t help being surprised.” He noticed her lips tremble and her chest rise. “Marcia, do you blame me for feeling hurt by your coldness when I came here to tell you—that I—I love you?” With his nerves on edge and a desperate need for understanding, he genuinely thought he had come to express this. “Yes,” he added, bitterly, “I will tell you, even if it seems like it’s the last thing I’ll say to you. I’ll go now.”
“Bartley! You shall never go!” she cried, throwing herself in his way. “Do you think I don't care for you, too? You may kiss me,—you may kill me, now!”
“Bartley! You are never going!” she yelled, stepping in front of him. “Do you think I don't care about you, too? You can kiss me,—you can kill me, right now!”
The passionate tears sprang to her eyes, without the sound of sobs or the contortion of weeping, and she did not wait for his embrace. She flung her arms around his neck and held him fast, crying, “I wouldn't let you, for your own sake, darling; and if I had died for it—I thought I should die last night—I was never going to let you kiss me again till you said—till—till—now! Don't you see?” She caught him tighter, and hid her face in his neck, and cried and laughed for joy and shame, while he suffered her caresses with a certain bewilderment. “I want to tell you now—I want to explain,” she said, lifting her face and letting him from her as far as her arms, caught around his neck, would reach, and fervidly searching his eyes, lest some ray of what he would think should escape her. “Don't speak a word first! Father saw us at the door last night,—he happened to be coming downstairs, because he couldn't sleep,—just when you—Oh, Bartley, don't!” she implored, at the little smile that made his mustache quiver. “And he asked me whether we were engaged; and when I couldn't tell him we were, I know what he thought. I knew how he despised me, and I determined that, if you didn't tell me that you cared for me—And that's the reason, Bartley, and not—not because I didn't care more for you than I do for the whole world. And—and—you don't mind it, now, do you? It was for your sake, dearest.”
The heartfelt tears filled her eyes, silently falling without any sobbing or crying, and she didn’t wait for his embrace. She threw her arms around his neck and held him tightly, saying, “I wouldn’t let you, for your own good, darling; and even if I had died for it—I thought I might die last night—I was never going to let you kiss me again until you said—until—until—now! Don’t you see?” She held him tighter, burying her face in his neck, crying and laughing with a mix of joy and shame, while he took her affection with a bit of confusion. “I want to tell you now—I want to explain,” she said, lifting her face and pulling him as close as her arms around his neck would allow, intensely searching his eyes to make sure he wouldn’t misinterpret her. “Don’t say a word first! Dad saw us at the door last night—he happened to be coming downstairs because he couldn’t sleep—just when you—Oh, Bartley, don’t!” she begged, noticing the little smile that made his mustache tremble. “And he asked me if we were engaged; and when I couldn’t say we were, I know what he thought. I realized how he looked down on me, and I vowed that if you didn’t tell me you cared for me—And that’s why, Bartley, not—not because I didn’t care for you more than anything else in the world. And—and—you don’t mind it now, do you? It was for your sake, my love.”
Whether Bartley perfectly divined or not all the feeling at which her words hinted, it was delicious to be clung about by such a pretty girl as Marcia Gaylord, to have her now darting her face into his neck-scarf with intolerable consciousness, and now boldly confronting him with all-defying fondness while she lightly pushed him and pulled him here and there in the vehemence of her appeal. Perhaps such a man, in those fastnesses of his nature which psychology has not yet explored, never loses, even in the tenderest transports, the sense of prey as to the girl whose love he has won; but if this is certain, it is also certain that he has transports which are tender, and Bartley now felt his soul melted with affection that was very novel and sweet.
Whether Bartley completely understood all the emotions behind her words or not, it felt amazing to be embraced by such a pretty girl as Marcia Gaylord. She would now press her face into his neck-scarf with a teasing awareness, and then boldly meet his gaze with a mix of challenge and affection as she playfully pushed and pulled him around in her passionate appeal. Maybe a guy like him, in those depths of his personality that psychology has yet to uncover, never completely sheds the feeling of being a hunter when it comes to the girl whose love he has earned; but while that might be true, it’s also true that he experiences moments of deep tenderness. At that moment, Bartley felt his heart filled with a warmth that was both new and delightful.
“Why, Marcia!” he said, “what a strange girl you are!” He sunk into his chair again, and, putting his arms around her waist, drew her upon his knee, like a child.
“Why, Marcia!” he said, “what a funny girl you are!” He sank back into his chair and, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulled her onto his knee like a kid.
She held herself apart from him at her arm's length, and said, “Wait! Let me say it before it seems as if we had always been engaged, and everything was as right then as it is now. Did you despise me for letting you kiss me before we were engaged?”
She kept her distance from him, arms crossed, and said, “Wait! Let me say this before it feels like we’ve always been engaged and everything has been perfect from the start. Did you look down on me for letting you kiss me before we were engaged?”
“No,” he laughed again. “I liked you for it.”
“No,” he laughed again. “I liked you for that.”
“But if you thought I would let any one else, you wouldn't have liked it?”
“But if you thought I would let anyone else, you wouldn’t have liked it?”
This diverted him still more. “I shouldn't have liked that more than half as well.”
This distracted him even more. “I wouldn't have liked that nearly as much.”
“No,” she said thoughtfully. She dropped her face awhile on his shoulder, and seemed to be struggling with herself. Then she lifted it, and “Did you ever—did you—” she gasped.
“No,” she said thoughtfully. She rested her face on his shoulder for a moment, seeming to wrestle with her thoughts. Then she lifted her head and said, “Did you ever—did you—” she gasped.
“If you want me to say that all the other girls in the world are not worth a hair of your head, I'll say that, Marcia. Now, let's talk business!”
“If you want me to say that all the other girls in the world aren't worth a single hair on your head, I'll say that, Marcia. Now, let's get down to business!”
This made her laugh, and “I shall want a little lock of yours,” she said, as if they had hitherto been talking of nothing but each other's hair.
This made her laugh, and “I’d like a little lock of yours,” she said, as if they had just been talking about nothing but each other’s hair.
“And I shall want all of yours,” he answered.
“And I will want all of yours,” he replied.
“No. Don't be silly.” She critically explored his face. “How funny to have a mole in your eyebrow!” She put her finger on it. “I never saw it before.”
“No. Don't be ridiculous.” She examined his face closely. “How funny to have a mole in your eyebrow!” She touched it with her finger. “I never noticed it before.”
“You never looked so closely. There's a scar at the corner of your upper lip that I hadn't noticed.”
“You never looked so closely. There's a scar at the corner of your upper lip that I hadn't seen before.”
“Can you see that?” she demanded, radiantly. “Well, you have got good eyes! The cat did it when I was a little girl.”
“Can you see that?” she asked, beaming. “Well, you do have good eyes! The cat did it when I was a little girl.”
The door opened, and Mrs. Gaylord surprised them in the celebration of these discoveries,—or, rather, she surprised herself, for she stood holding the door and helpless to move, though in her heart she had an apologetic impulse to retire, and she even believed that she made some murmurs of excuse for her intrusion. Bartley was equally abashed, but Marcia rose with the coolness of her sex in the intimate emergencies which confound a man. “Oh, mother, it's you! I forgot about you. Come in! Or I'll set the table, if that's what you want.” As Mrs. Gaylord continued to look from her to Bartley in her daze, Marcia added, simply, “We're engaged, mother. You may as well know it first as last, and I guess you better know it first.”
The door swung open, and Mrs. Gaylord caught them off guard during their celebration of these discoveries—or rather, she caught herself off guard, as she stood there holding the door and unable to move. Deep down, she felt an urge to apologize and leave, and she thought she even mumbled some excuses for barging in. Bartley was just as flustered, but Marcia handled it with the composure typical of women in awkward situations that unsettle a man. “Oh, Mom, it’s you! I totally forgot about you. Come in! Or I can set the table, if that’s what you want.” As Mrs. Gaylord continued to gaze between her and Bartley in confusion, Marcia added simply, “We’re engaged, Mom. You might as well know now instead of later, and I think it’s better if you hear it now.”
Her mother appeared not to think it safe to relax her hold upon the door, and Bartley went filially to her rescue—if it was rescue to salute her blushing defencelessness as he did. A confused sense of the extraordinary nature and possible impropriety of the proceeding may have suggested her husband to her mind; or it may have been a feeling that some remark was expected of her, even in the mental destitution to which she was reduced.
Her mother seemed to think it wasn't safe to let go of the door, so Bartley went to help her—if it was really helping to acknowledge her embarrassed vulnerability like he did. She might have had a vague awareness of how unusual and possibly inappropriate the situation was, making her think of her husband; or she could have sensed that she was expected to say something, even in the mental state she was in.
“Have you told Mr. Gaylord about it?” she asked of either, or neither, or both, as they chose to take it.
“Have you told Mr. Gaylord about it?” she asked, leaving it up to either, neither, or both to interpret it how they wanted.
Bartley left the word to Marcia, who answered, “Well, no, mother. We haven't yet. We've only just found it out ourselves. I guess father can wait till he comes in to dinner. I intend to keep Bartley here to prove it.”
Bartley left it to Marcia, who replied, “Well, no, mom. We haven't yet. We just found it out ourselves. I guess dad can wait until he comes in for dinner. I'm planning to keep Bartley here to prove it.”
“He said,” remarked Mrs. Gaylord, whom Bartley had led to her chair and placed on her cushion, “'t he had a headache when he first came in,” and she appealed to him for corroboration, while she vainly endeavored to gather force to grapple again with the larger fact that he and Marcia were just engaged to be married.
“He said,” Mrs. Gaylord commented, whom Bartley had helped to her chair and settled on her cushion, “that he had a headache when he first arrived,” and she looked to him for confirmation, while she struggled to muster the strength to deal once more with the bigger reality that he and Marcia were just engaged to be married.
Marcia stopped down, and pulled her mother up out of her chair with a hug. “Oh, come now, mother: You mustn't let it take your breath away,” she said, with patronizing fondness. “I'm not afraid of what father will say. You know what he thinks of Bartley,—or Mr. Hubbard, as I presume you'll want me to call him! Now, mother, you just run up stairs, and put on your best cap, and leave me to set the table and get up the dinner. I guess I can get Bartley to help me. Mother, mother, mother!” she cried, in happiness that was otherwise unutterable, and clasping her mother closer in her strong young arms, she kissed her with a fervor that made her blush again before the young man.
Marcia bent down and hugged her mother, pulling her up out of her chair. “Oh, come on, Mom: You can't let this get to you,” she said with a teasing affection. “I’m not worried about what Dad will think. You know how he feels about Bartley—or Mr. Hubbard, as I guess you want me to call him! Now, Mom, just go upstairs and put on your best cap while I set the table and get dinner ready. I’m sure I can get Bartley to help me. Mom, mom, mom!” she exclaimed, filled with an indescribable joy, and holding her mother tighter in her strong young arms, she kissed her with a passion that made her blush again in front of the young man.
“Marcia, Marcia! You hadn't ought to! It's ridiculous!” she protested. But she suffered herself to be thrust out of the room, grateful for exile, in which she could collect her scattered wits and set herself to realize the fact that had dispersed them. It was decorous, also, for her to leave Marcia alone with Mr. Hubbard, far more so now than when he was merely company; she felt that, and she fumbled over the dressing she was sent about, and once she looked out of her chamber window at the office where Mr. Gaylord sat, and wondered what Mr. Gaylord (she thought of him, and even dreamt of him, as Mr. Gaylord, and had never, in the most familiar moments, addressed him otherwise) would say! But she left the solution of the problem to him and Marcia; she was used to leaving them to the settlement of their own difficulties.
“Marcia, Marcia! You shouldn't have! This is ridiculous!” she protested. But she allowed herself to be pushed out of the room, relieved for the break, where she could gather her scattered thoughts and come to terms with what had thrown her off balance. It was also appropriate for her to leave Marcia alone with Mr. Hubbard, much more so now than when he was just a guest; she felt that, and she fumbled with the task she had been given, glancing out her bedroom window at the office where Mr. Gaylord sat, wondering what Mr. Gaylord (she thought of him, and even dreamed of him, as Mr. Gaylord, and had never, even in the most casual moments, addressed him any other way) would say! But she left the solution of the problem to him and Marcia; she was used to letting them handle their own issues.
“Now, Bartley,” said Marcia, in the business-like way that women assume in such matters, as soon as the great fact is no longer in doubt, “you must help me to set the table. Put up that leaf and I'll put up this. I'm going to do more for mother than I used to,” she said, repentant in her bliss. “It's a shame how much I've left to her.” The domestic instinct was already astir in her heart.
“Okay, Bartley,” Marcia said in the practical tone that women adopt in situations like this, once the main issue is clear, “you need to help me set the table. You handle that side and I’ll take care of this. I want to do more for mom than before,” she added, feeling regretful but happy. “It’s a shame how much I’ve relied on her.” The instinct to nurture was already awakening in her heart.
Bartley pulled the table-cloth straight from her, and vied with her in the rapidity and exactness with which he arranged the knives and forks at right angles beside the plates. When it came to some heavier dishes, they agreed to carry them turn about; but when it was her turn, he put out his hand to support her elbow: “As I did last night, and saved you from dropping a lamp.”
Bartley yanked the tablecloth away from her and competed with her to quickly and precisely position the knives and forks at right angles next to the plates. When it was time to move the heavier dishes, they decided to take turns; but when it was her turn, he reached out to steady her elbow: “Just like I did last night when I saved you from dropping the lamp.”
This made her laugh, and she dropped the first dish with a crash. “Poor mother!” she exclaimed. “I know she heard that, and she'll be in agony to know which one it is.”
This made her laugh, and she dropped the first dish with a crash. “Poor mom!” she exclaimed. “I know she heard that, and she'll be in agony wondering which one it is.”
Mrs. Gaylord did indeed hear it, far off in her chamber, and quaked with an anxiety which became intolerable at last.
Mrs. Gaylord did hear it, far away in her room, and was overwhelmed with a worry that eventually became unbearable.
“Marcia! Marcia!” she quavered, down the stairs, “what have you broken?”
“Marcia! Marcia!” she called out, coming down the stairs, “what did you break?”
Marcia opened the door long enough to call back, “Oh, only the old blue-edged platter, mother!” and then she flew at Bartley, crying, “For shame! For shame!” and pressing her hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. “She'll hear you, Bartley, and think you're laughing at her.” But she laughed herself at his struggles, and ended by taking him by the hand and pulling him out into, the kitchen, where neither of them could be heard. She abandoned herself to the ecstasy of her soul, and he thought she had never been so charming as in this wild gayety.
Marcia opened the door just enough to call back, “Oh, just the old blue-edged platter, Mom!” and then she rushed at Bartley, saying, “Shame on you! Shame on you!” and covering his mouth with her hand to stop his laughter. “She'll hear you, Bartley, and think you're laughing at her.” But she couldn’t help laughing at his efforts, and finally took his hand, pulling him into the kitchen where they wouldn’t be heard. She gave in to the joy of the moment, and he thought she had never been so charming as in this wild happiness.
“Why, Marsh! I never saw you carry on so before!”
“Why, Marsh! I’ve never seen you act like this before!”
“You never saw me engaged before! That's the way all girls act—if they get the chance. Don't you like me to be so?” she asked, with quick anxiety.
“You’ve never seen me engaged before! That’s how all girls act—if they get the chance. Don’t you like me this way?” she asked, with quick anxiety.
“Rather!” he replied.
"Absolutely!" he replied.
“Oh, Bartley!” she exclaimed, “I feel like a child. I surprise myself as much as I do you; for I thought I had got very old, and I didn't suppose I should ever let myself go in this way. But there is something about this that lets me be as silly as I like. It's somehow as if I were a great deal more alone when I'm with you than when I'm by myself! How does it make you feel?”
“Oh, Bartley!” she exclaimed, “I feel like a kid. I surprise myself just as much as I surprise you; I thought I had become really old, and I never imagined I’d let myself be this way. But there’s something about this that allows me to be as silly as I want. It's almost like I'm way more alone when I'm with you than when I'm on my own! How does that make you feel?”
“Good!” he answered, and that satisfied her better than if he had entered into those subtleties which she had tried to express: it was more like a man. He had his arm about her again, and she put down her hand on his to press it closer against her heart.
“Good!” he replied, and that made her feel more satisfied than if he had delved into the complexities she had tried to convey: it felt more genuine. He had his arm around her again, and she placed her hand on his to pull it closer to her heart.
“Of course,” she explained, recurring to his surprise at her frolic mood, “I don't expect you to be silly because I am.”
“Of course,” she said, referring to his surprise at her playful mood, “I don't expect you to act silly just because I am.”
“No,” he assented; “but how can I help it?”
“No,” he agreed; “but what can I do about it?”
“Oh, I don't mean for the time being; I mean generally speaking. I mean that I care for you because I know you know a great deal more than I do, and because I respect you. I know that everybody expects you to be something great, and I do, too.”
“Oh, I don’t mean just for now; I mean in general. I care about you because I know you have a lot more knowledge than I do, and I respect you for that. I know everyone expects you to achieve something great, and I feel the same way.”
Bartley did not deny the justness of her opinions concerning himself, or the reasonableness of the general expectation, though he probably could not see the relation of these cold abstractions to the pleasure of sitting there with a pretty girl in that way. But he said nothing.
Bartley didn't argue against her opinions about him or the general expectations, even though he probably couldn't connect those cold ideas to the enjoyment of sitting there with a pretty girl like that. But he stayed quiet.
“Do you know,” she went on, turning her face prettily around toward him, but holding it a little way off, to secure attention as impersonal as might be under the circumstances, “what pleased me more than anything else you ever said to me?”
“Do you know,” she continued, turning her face charmingly toward him, but keeping it slightly away to make sure the attention was as impersonal as possible under the circumstances, “what made me happier than anything else you've ever said to me?”
“No,” answered Bartley. “Something you got out of me when you were trying to make me tell you the difference between you and the other Equity girls?”
“No,” Bartley replied. “Is that something you got out of me when you were trying to make me tell you the difference between you and the other Equity girls?”
She laughed, in glad defiance of her own consciousness. “Well, I was trying to make you compliment me; I'm not going to deny it. But I must say I got my come-uppance: you didn't say a thing I cared for. But you did afterward. Don't you remember?”
She laughed, happily defying her own awareness. “Well, I was trying to get you to compliment me; I won’t deny it. But I have to say I got my comeuppance: you didn’t say anything I cared about. But you did afterward. Don’t you remember?”
“No. When?”
“No. When’s that?”
She hesitated a moment. “When you told me that my influence had—had—made you better, you know—”
She paused for a moment. “When you said that my influence had—had—made you better, you know—”
“Oh!” said Bartley. “That! Well,” he added, carelessly, “it's every word true. Didn't you believe it?”
“Oh!” said Bartley. “That! Well,” he added, casually, “it's completely true. Didn't you believe it?”
“I was just as glad as if I did; and it made me resolve never to do or say a thing that could lower your opinion of me; and then, you know, there at the door—it all seemed part of our trying to make each other better. But when father looked at me in that way, and asked me if we were engaged, I went down into the dust with shame. And it seemed to me that you had just been laughing at me, and amusing yourself with me, and I was so furious I didn't know what to do. Do you know what I wanted to do? I wanted to run downstairs to father, and tell him what you had said, and ask him if he believed you had ever liked any other girl.” She paused a little, but he did not answer, and she continued. “But now I'm glad I didn't. And I shall never ask you that, and I shall not care for anything that you—that's happened before to-day. It's all right. And you do think I shall always try to make you good and happy, don't you?”
“I was just as happy as if I really was, and it made me promise never to do or say anything that could change how you feel about me; and then, you know, right there at the door—it all felt like part of us trying to help each other become better. But when my father looked at me that way and asked if we were engaged, I felt utterly humiliated. And it seemed to me that you had just been joking about me and having fun at my expense, and I was so angry that I didn't know what to do. Do you know what I wanted to do? I wanted to run downstairs to my father, tell him what you had said, and ask him if he thought you had ever liked any other girl.” She paused briefly, but he didn't respond, so she continued. “But now I'm glad I didn't do that. I’ll never ask you about it, and I won't care about anything that’s happened before today. It’s all good. And you do think I’ll always try to make you good and happy, don’t you?”
“I don't think you can make me much happier than I am at present, and I don't believe anybody could make me feel better,” answered Bartley.
“I don’t think anyone can make me much happier than I am right now, and I don’t believe anyone could make me feel better,” Bartley replied.
She gave a little laugh at his refusal to be serious, and let her head, for fondness, fall upon his shoulder, while he turned round and round a ring he found on her finger.
She chuckled at his unwillingness to be serious and rested her head on his shoulder out of affection while he turned the ring he found on her finger around and around.
“Ah, ha!” he said, after a while. “Who gave you this ring, Miss Gaylord?”
“Ah, ha!” he said after a moment. “Who gave you this ring, Miss Gaylord?”
“Father, Christmas before last,” she promptly answered, without moving. “I'm glad you asked,” she murmured, in a lower voice, full of pride in the maiden love she could give him. “There's never been any one but you, or the thought of any one.” She suddenly started away.
“Dad, Christmas a year ago,” she quickly replied, staying still. “I’m glad you brought it up,” she said softly, her voice filled with pride in the love she felt for him. “There’s never been anyone but you, or even the thought of anyone else.” She suddenly turned away.
“Now, let's play we're getting dinner.” It was quite time; in the next moment the coffee boiled up, and if she had not caught the lid off and stirred it down with her spoon, it would have been spoiled. The steam ascended to the ceiling, and filled the kitchen with the fragrant smell of the berry.
“Now, let’s pretend we're having dinner.” It was the right time; in the next moment, the coffee bubbled up, and if she hadn’t lifted the lid and stirred it down with her spoon, it would have been ruined. The steam rose to the ceiling and filled the kitchen with the lovely aroma of the coffee.
“I'm glad we're going to have coffee,” she said. “You'll have to put up with a cold dinner, except potatoes. But the coffee will make up, and I shall need a cup to keep me awake. I don't believe I slept last night till nearly morning. Do you like coffee?”
“I'm really happy we're getting coffee,” she said. “You'll have to deal with a cold dinner, except for the potatoes. But the coffee will make up for it, and I definitely need a cup to keep me awake. I don't think I slept much last night, not until almost morning. Do you like coffee?”
“I'd have given all I ever expect to be worth for a cup of it, last night,” he said. “I was awfully hungry when I got back to the hotel, and I couldn't find anything but a piece of mince-pie and some old cheese, and I had to be content with cold milk. I felt as if I had lost all my friends this morning when I woke up.”
“I would have given everything I ever hope to be worth for a cup of it last night,” he said. “I was really hungry when I got back to the hotel, and I could only find a slice of mince pie and some old cheese, and I had to settle for cold milk. I felt like I had lost all my friends this morning when I woke up.”
A sense of remembered grievance trembled in his voice, and made her drop her head on his arm, in pity and derision of him. “Poor Bartley!” she cried. “And you came up here for a little petting from me, didn't you? I've noticed that in you! Well, you didn't get it, did you?”
A sense of past hurt shook his voice, causing her to rest her head on his arm, both pitying and mocking him. “Poor Bartley!” she exclaimed. “And you came up here for a little affection from me, didn’t you? I’ve seen that in you! Well, you didn’t get it, did you?”
“Well, not at first,” he said.
“Well, not at first,” he said.
“Yes, you can't complain of any want of petting at last,” she returned, delighted at his indirect recognition of the difference. Then the daring, the archness, and caprice that make coquetry in some women, and lurk a divine possibility in all, came out in her; the sweetness, kept back by the whole strength of her pride, overflowed that broken barrier now, and she seemed to lavish this revelation of herself upon him with a sort of tender joy in his bewilderment. She was not hurt when he crudely expressed the elusive sense which has been in other men's minds at such times: they cannot believe that this fascination is inspired, and not practised.
“Yes, you can't say you haven't been showered with affection now,” she replied, thrilled by his subtle acknowledgment of the difference. Then the boldness, playfulness, and unpredictability that make some women flirtatious, and hint at a divine potential in all, emerged in her; the sweetness, held back by her strong pride, overflowed that barrier now, and she seemed to share this side of herself with him with a sort of tender joy in his confusion. She wasn't offended when he bluntly voiced the vague thought that has crossed other men's minds at such moments: they find it hard to believe that this charm is natural, not something she consciously puts on.
“Well,” he said, “I'm glad you told me that I was the first. I should have thought you'd had a good deal of experience in flirtation.”
“Well,” he said, “I’m glad you told me I was the first. I should have figured you had plenty of experience with flirting.”
“You wouldn't have thought so if you hadn't been a great flirt yourself,” she answered, audaciously. “Perhaps I have been engaged before!”
“You wouldn't think that if you hadn't been a huge flirt yourself,” she replied boldly. “Maybe I have been engaged before!”
Their talk was for the most part frivolous, and their thoughts ephemeral; but again they were, with her at least, suddenly and deeply serious. Till then all things seemed to have been held in arrest, and impressions, ideas, feelings, fears, desires, released themselves simultaneously, and sought expression with a rush that defied coherence. “Oh, why do we try to talk?” she asked, at last. “The more we say, the more we leave unsaid. Let us keep still awhile!” But she could not. “Bartley! When did you first think you cared about me?”
Their conversation was mostly light-hearted, and their thoughts fleeting; but suddenly, with her at least, they became serious and intense. Until then, everything felt paused, and impressions, ideas, feelings, fears, and desires all burst forth at once, vying for expression in a jumbled way. “Oh, why do we even bother talking?” she finally asked. “The more we say, the more we leave unsaid. Let’s just stay quiet for a bit!” But she couldn’t help it. “Bartley! When did you first realize you cared about me?”
“I don't know,” said Bartley, “I guess it must have been the first time I saw you.”
“I don't know,” Bartley said, “I guess it was the first time I saw you.”
“Yes, that is when I first knew that I cared for you. But it seems to me that I must have always cared for you, and that I only found it out when I saw you going by the house that day.” She mused a little time before she asked again, “Bartley!”
“Yes, that’s when I first realized that I cared for you. But it seems to me I must have always cared for you, and I only figured it out when I saw you walk past the house that day.” She thought for a moment before asking again, “Bartley!”
“Well?”
"What's up?"
“Did you ever use to be afraid—Or, no! Wait! I'll tell you first, and then I'll ask you. I'm not ashamed of it now, though once I thought I couldn't bear to have any one find it out. I used to be awfully afraid you didn't care for me! I would try to make out, from things you did and said, whether you did or not; but I never could be certain. I believe I used to find the most comfort in discouraging myself. I used to say to myself, 'Why, of course he doesn't! How can he? He's been everywhere, and he's seen so many girls. He corresponds with lots of them. Altogether likely he's engaged to some of the young ladies he's met in Boston; and he just goes with me here for a blind.' And then when you would praise me, sometimes, I would just say, 'Oh, he's complimented plenty of girls. I know he's thinking this instant of the young lady he's engaged to in Boston.' And it would almost kill me; and when you did some little thing to show that you liked me, I would think, 'He doesn't like me! He hates, he despises me. He does, he does, he does!' And I would go on that way, with my teeth shut, and my breath held, I don't know how long.” Bartley broke out into a broad laugh at this image of desperation, but she added, tenderly, “I hope I never made you suffer in that way?”
“Did you ever used to be afraid—Or, no! Wait! I'll tell you first, and then I'll ask you. I'm not ashamed of it now, but there was a time when I thought I couldn't stand anyone finding out. I used to be really scared that you didn’t care about me! I would try to figure out, from the things you did and said, whether you did or not; but I could never be sure. I think I found the most comfort in putting myself down. I would tell myself, 'Of course he doesn’t! How could he? He’s been everywhere and seen so many girls. He writes to so many of them. It's likely he's engaged to some of the young ladies he’s met in Boston; and he just goes out with me here as a cover.' And then when you would compliment me sometimes, I would think, 'Oh, he's praised plenty of girls. I know he’s thinking right now about the girl he’s engaged to in Boston.' And it would almost kill me; and when you did something small to show you liked me, I would think, 'He doesn’t like me! He hates, he despises me. He does, he does, he does!' And I would keep thinking that way, with my teeth clenched and my breath held, I don’t know how long.” Bartley laughed out loud at this picture of desperation, but she added softly, “I hope I never made you suffer like that?”
“What way?” he asked.
"What direction?" he asked.
“That's what I wanted you to tell me. Did you ever—did you use to be afraid sometimes that I—that you—did you put off telling me that you cared for me so long because you thought, you dreaded—Oh, I don't see what I can ever do to make it up to you if you did! Were you afraid I didn't care for you?”
“That's what I wanted you to tell me. Did you ever—did you used to be afraid sometimes that I—that you—did you hold off telling me that you cared for me for so long because you thought, you dreaded—Oh, I don't know how I can ever make it up to you if you did! Were you afraid I didn't care about you?”
“No!” shouted Bartley. She had risen and stood before him in the fervor of her entreaty, and he seized her arms, pinioning them to her side, and holding her helpless, while he laughed, and laughed again. “I knew you were dead in love with me from the first moment.”
“No!” shouted Bartley. She had gotten up and stood in front of him, passionately pleading, and he grabbed her arms, pinning them to her sides, leaving her powerless, while he laughed, and laughed again. “I knew you were crazy in love with me from the very start.”
“Bartley! Bartley Hubbard!” she exclaimed; “let me go,—let me go, this instant! I never heard of such a shameless thing!”
“Bartley! Bartley Hubbard!” she shouted; “let me go—let me go, right now! I’ve never heard of such a disgraceful thing!”
But she really made no effort to escape.
But she didn't really try to get away.
V.
The house seemed too little for Marcia's happiness, and after dinner she did not let Bartley forget his last night's engagement. She sent him off to get his horse at the hotel, and ran up to her room to put on her wraps for the drive. Her mother cleared away the dinner things; she pushed the table to the side of the room, and then sat down in her feather-cushioned chair and waited her husband's pleasure to speak. He ordinarily rose from the Sunday dinner and went back to his office; to-day he had taken a chair before the stove. But he had mechanically put his hat on, and he wore it pushed off his forehead as he tilted his chair back on its hind legs, and braced himself against the hearth of the stove with his feet.
The house felt too small for Marcia's happiness, and after dinner, she made sure Bartley remembered his plans from the night before. She sent him to grab his horse from the hotel and dashed to her room to put on her coat for the drive. Her mother cleaned up after dinner; she pushed the table to the side of the room, then sat down in her feather-cushioned chair, waiting for her husband to decide when to speak. He usually got up after Sunday dinner and returned to his office; today, he had taken a chair in front of the stove. But he had automatically put his hat on, tilting it back on his forehead as he leaned his chair against the stove with his feet up.
A man is master in his own house generally through the exercise of a certain degree of brutality, but Squire Gaylord maintained his predominance by an enlightened absenteeism. No man living always at home was ever so little under his own roof. While he was in more active business life, he had kept an office in the heart of the village, where he spent all his days, and a great part of every night; but after he had become rich enough to risk whatever loss of business the change might involve, he bought this large old square house on the border of the village, and thenceforth made his home in the little detached office.
A man usually holds power in his own home through a degree of toughness, but Squire Gaylord maintained his authority by being wisely absent. No one who was always at home ever felt less at ease under his own roof. When he was more active in business, he had an office in the town center where he spent all his days and a lot of his nights; but once he was wealthy enough to handle any potential loss from a change, he bought this big old square house on the edge of the village and from then on lived in the small detached office.
If Mrs. Gaylord had dimly imagined that she should see something more of him, having him so near at hand, she really saw less: there was no weather, by day or night, in which he could not go to his office, now. He went no more than his wife into the village society; she might have been glad now and then of a little glimpse of the world, but she never said so, and her social life had ceased, like her religious life. Their house was richly furnished according to the local taste of the time; the parlor had a Brussels carpet, and heavy chairs of mahogany and hair-cloth; Marcia had a piano there, and since she had come home from school they had made company, as Mrs. Gaylord called it, two or three times for her; but they had held aloof from the festivity, the Squire in his office, and Mrs. Gaylord in the family room where they now sat in unwonted companionship.
If Mrs. Gaylord had vaguely hoped to see more of him with him being so close, she actually saw less: there was no time, day or night, when he couldn’t go to his office now. He wasn’t involved in village society any more than his wife was; she might have enjoyed a glimpse of the outside world now and then, but she never mentioned it, and her social life had faded away, just like her religious life. Their home was elegantly furnished in the local style of the time; the living room had a Brussels carpet and heavy mahogany and hair-cloth chairs; Marcia had a piano there, and since she returned home from school, they had entertained guests, as Mrs. Gaylord called it, a couple of times for her; but they had kept their distance from the festivities, the Squire in his office and Mrs. Gaylord in the family room where they now sat together in an unusual familiarity.
“Well, Mr. Gaylord,” said his wife, “I don't know as you can say but what Marcia's suited well enough.”
“Well, Mr. Gaylord,” his wife said, “I don’t know if you can argue that Marcia isn’t suited well enough.”
This was the first allusion they had made to the subject, but she let it take the argumentative form of her cogitations.
This was the first time they had mentioned the topic, but she allowed it to shape her thoughts in a more argumentative way.
“M-yes,” sighed the Squire, in long, nasal assent, “most too well, if anything.” He rasped first one unshaven cheek and then the other, with his thin, quivering hand.
“M-yeah,” sighed the Squire, in a long, nasal agreement, “maybe a bit too well, if anything.” He rubbed one unshaven cheek and then the other with his thin, shaking hand.
“He's smart enough,” said Mrs. Gaylord, as before.
"He's smart enough," Mrs. Gaylord said, just like before.
“M-yes, most too smart,” replied her husband, a little more quickly than before. “He's smart enough, even if she wasn't, to see from the start that she was crazy to have him, and that isn't the best way to begin life for a married couple, if I'm a judge.”
“M-yeah, way too smart,” replied her husband, a bit quicker than before. “He's smart enough, even if she wasn't, to realize right from the start that she was crazy to want him, and that’s not the best way to kick off a marriage, if you ask me.”
“It would killed her if she hadn't got him. I could see 't was wearin' on her every day, more and more. She used to fairly jump, every knock she'd hear at the door; and I know sometimes, when she was afraid he wa' n't coming, she used to go out, in hopes 't she sh'd meet him: I don't suppose she allowed to herself that she did it for that—Marcia's proud.”
“It would have killed her if she hadn't had him. I could see it was wearing on her more and more every day. She used to jump at every knock she heard at the door, and I know sometimes, when she was afraid he wasn't coming, she would go out, hoping to run into him. I don't think she admitted to herself that she did it for that—Marcia's proud.”
“M-yes,” said the Squire, “she's proud. And when a proud girl makes a fool of herself about a fellow, it's a matter of life and death with her. She can't help herself. She lets go everything.”
“M-yeah,” said the Squire, “she's proud. And when a proud girl gets all worked up over a guy, it feels like a matter of life and death to her. She can't control it. She drops everything.”
“I declare,” Mrs. Gaylord went on, “it worked me up considerable to have her come in some those times, and see by her face 't she'd seen him with some the other girls. She used to look so! And then I'd hear her up in her room, cryin' and cryin'. I shouldn't cared so much, if Marcia'd been like any other girl, kind of flirty, like, about it. But she wa' n't. She was just bowed down before her idol.”
“I declare,” Mrs. Gaylord continued, “it really upset me when she came in during those times, and you could tell from her face that she had seen him with some of the other girls. She used to look so hurt! Then I’d hear her up in her room, crying and crying. I wouldn’t have been as bothered if Marcia had been like any other girl, a bit flirty or something. But she wasn’t. She was just crushed by her idol.”
A final assent came from the Squire, as if wrung out of his heart, and he rose from his chair, and then sat down again. Marcia was his child, and he loved her with his whole soul. “M-well!” he deeply sighed, “all that part's over, anyway,” but he tingled in an anguish of sympathy with what she had suffered. “You see, Miranda, how she looked at me when she first came in with him,—so proud and independent, poor girl! and yet as if she was afraid I mightn't like it?”
A final approval came from the Squire, as if it was squeezed out of his heart, and he got up from his chair, then sat back down again. Marcia was his daughter, and he loved her completely. “Well,” he sighed deeply, “at least that part’s done.” Still, he felt a sharp pain of sympathy for what she had gone through. “You saw how she looked at me when she first walked in with him—so proud and independent, poor girl!—yet as if she was scared I *might not* like it?”
“Yes, I see it.”
"Yeah, I see it."
He pulled his hat far down over his cavernous eyes, and worked his thin, rusty old jaws.
He pulled his hat down low over his deep-set eyes and worked his thin, old jaws.
“I hope 't she'll be able to school herself, so 's t' not show out her feelings so much,” said Mrs. Gaylord.
“I hope she'll be able to control herself so she doesn't show her feelings so much,” said Mrs. Gaylord.
“I wish she could school herself so as to not have 'em so much; but I guess she'll have 'em, and I guess she'll show 'em out.” They were both silent; after a while he added, throwing at the stove a minute fragment of the cane he had pulled off the seat of his chair: “Miranda, I've expected something of this sort a good while, and I've thought over what Bartley had better do.”
“I wish she could control herself so she wouldn’t have them so much; but I guess she’ll have them, and I guess she’ll show them out.” They were both silent; after a while, he added, tossing a small piece of the cane he had pulled off the seat of his chair into the stove: “Miranda, I’ve been expecting something like this for a while, and I’ve thought about what Bartley should do.”
Mrs. Gaylord stooped forward and picked up the bit of wood which her husband had thrown down; her vigilance was rewarded by finding a thread on the oil-cloth near where it lay; she whipped this round her finger, and her husband continued: “He'd better give up his paper and go into the law. He 's done well in the paper, and he's a smart writer; but editing a newspaper aint any work for a man. It's all well enough as long as he's single, but when he's got a wife to look after, he'd better get down to work. My business is in just such a shape now that I could hand it over to him in a lump; but come to wait a year or two longer, and this young man and that one 'll eat into it, and it won't be the same thing at all. I shall want Bartley to push right along, and get admitted at once. He can do it, fast enough. He's bright enough,” added the old man, with a certain grimness. “M-well!” he broke out, with a quick sigh, after a moment of musing; “it hasn't happened at any very bad time. I was just thinking, this morning, that I should like to have my whole time, pretty soon, to look after my property. I sha'n't want Bartley to do that for me. I'll give him a good start in money and in business; but I'll look after my property myself. I'll speak to him, the first chance I get.”
Mrs. Gaylord leaned forward and picked up the piece of wood that her husband had dropped; her attention was rewarded when she found a thread on the oilcloth near where it lay. She wrapped this around her finger, and her husband continued: “He should give up his job at the newspaper and go into law. He’s done well with the paper, and he’s a smart writer, but editing a newspaper isn’t a real job for a man. It’s fine while he’s single, but once he has a wife to take care of, he needs to get serious about work. My business is at a point where I could just hand it over to him as it is; but if I wait a year or two longer, this young guy and that one will chip away at it, and it won’t be the same at all. I want Bartley to keep going and get admitted right away. He can do it fast enough. He’s sharp enough,” added the old man, with a hint of seriousness. “Well!” he burst out with a quick sigh after a moment of thinking; “it hasn’t happened at a really bad time. I was just thinking this morning that I’d like to have all my time soon to focus on my property. I don’t want Bartley to handle that for me. I’ll give him a good financial start and help him with the business, but I’ll manage my property myself. I’ll talk to him the first chance I get.”
A light step sounded on the stairs, and Marcia burst into the room, ready for her drive. “I wanted to get a good warm before I started,” she explained, stooping before the stove, and supporting herself with one hand on her father's knee. There had been no formal congratulations upon her engagement from either of her parents; but this was not requisite, and would have been a little affected; they were perhaps now ashamed to mention it outright before her alone. The Squire, however, went so far as to put his hand over the hand she had laid upon his knee, and to smooth it twice or thrice.
A light footstep echoed on the stairs, and Marcia rushed into the room, ready for her drive. “I wanted to warm up a bit before I started,” she said, bending down in front of the stove and leaning on her father's knee with one hand. There hadn’t been any formal congratulations about her engagement from either of her parents; but that wasn’t necessary and would have seemed a bit forced. They were probably a little uncomfortable mentioning it directly in front of her. The Squire, however, did go so far as to place his hand over the one she had resting on his knee and to smooth it two or three times.
“You going to ride after that sorrel colt of Bartley's?” he asked.
“You planning to ride that sorrel colt of Bartley's after that?” he asked.
“Of course!” she answered, with playful pertness. “I guess Bartley can manage the sorrel colt! He's never had any trouble yet.”
“Of course!” she replied, with a playful attitude. “I think Bartley can handle the sorrel colt! He hasn't had any issues yet.”
“He's always been able to give his whole mind to him before,” said the Squire. He gave Marcia's hand a significant squeeze, and let it go.
“He's always been able to fully focus on him before,” said the Squire. He gave Marcia's hand a meaningful squeeze, then let it go.
She would not confess her consciousness of his meaning at once. She looked up at the clock, and then turned and pulled her father's watch out of his waistcoat pocket, and compared the time. “Why, you're both fast!”
She wasn't ready to admit that she understood what he meant right away. She glanced at the clock, then turned and took her father's watch out of his jacket pocket to check the time. "Wow, you’re both ahead!"
“Perhaps Bartley's slow,” said the Squire; and having gone as far as he intended in this direction, he permitted himself a low chuckle.
“Maybe Bartley's slow,” said the Squire; and having gone as far as he intended in this direction, he allowed himself a soft chuckle.
The sleigh-bells jingled without, and she sprang lightly to her feet. “I guess you don't think Bartley's slow,” she exclaimed, and hung over her father long enough to rub her lips against his bristly cheek. “By, mother,” she said, over her shoulder, and went out of the room. She let her muff hang as far down in front of her as her arms would reach, in a stylish way, and moved with a little rhythmical tilt, as if to some inner music. Even in her furs she was elegantly slender in shape.
The sleigh bells jingled outside, and she quickly got to her feet. “I guess you don’t think Bartley is slow,” she said with excitement, leaning over to rub her lips against her dad's stubbly cheek. “Hey, Mom,” she called out, without looking back, and left the room. She let her muff hang in front of her, as low as her arms could reach, in a stylish way, and moved with a slight rhythmic sway, as if to some inner music. Even in her furs, she looked elegantly slim.
The old people remained silent and motionless till the clash of the bells died away. Then the Squire rose, and went to the wood-shed beyond the kitchen, whence he reappeared with an armful of wood. His wife started at the sight. “Mr. Gaylord, what be you doin'?”
The old people stayed quiet and still until the sound of the bells faded away. Then the Squire got up and went to the wood-shed behind the kitchen, where he came back with a pile of wood. His wife jumped at the sight. “Mr. Gaylord, what are you doing?”
“Oh, I'm going to make 'em up a little fire in the parlor stove. I guess they won't want us round a great deal, when they come back.”
“Oh, I'm going to start a little fire in the parlor stove. I guess they won't want us around much when they come back.”
Mrs. Gaylord said, “Well, I never did!” When her husband returned from the parlor, she added, “I suppose some folks'd say it was rather of a strange way of spendin' the Sabbath.”
Mrs. Gaylord said, “Well, I never!” When her husband came back from the parlor, she added, “I guess some people would say it was a pretty odd way to spend the Sabbath.”
“It's a very good way of spending the Sabbath. You don't suppose that any of the people in church are half as happy, do you? Why, old Jonathan Edwards himself used to allow 'all proper opportunity' for the young fellows that come to see his girls, 'and a room and fire, if needed.' His 'Life' says so.”
“It's a great way to spend the Sabbath. You don't really think any of the people in church are even half as happy, do you? Well, old Jonathan Edwards himself used to make sure to provide 'all proper opportunity' for the young guys who came to visit his daughters, 'and a room and fire, if needed.' His 'Life' says so.”
“I guess he didn't allow it on the Sabbath,” retorted Mrs. Gaylord.
“I guess he didn't let it happen on the Sabbath,” Mrs. Gaylord shot back.
“Well, the 'Life' don't say,” chuckled the Squire. “Why, Miranda, I do it for Marcia! There's never but one first day to an engagement. You know that as well as I do.” In saying this, Squire Gaylord gave way to his repressed emotion in an extravagance. He suddenly stooped over and kissed his wife; but he spared her confusion by going out to his office at once, where he stayed the whole afternoon.
“Well, ‘Life’ doesn’t say,” chuckled the Squire. “Why, Miranda, I do it for Marcia! There’s only one first day of an engagement. You know that as well as I do.” In saying this, Squire Gaylord let his repressed emotions out in a burst. He suddenly leaned in and kissed his wife; but to spare her any awkwardness, he went straight to his office, where he stayed the whole afternoon.
Bartley and Marcia took the “Long Drive,” as it was called, at Equity. The road plunged into the darkly wooded gulch beyond the house, and then struck away eastward, crossing loop after loop of the river on the covered bridges, where the neighbors, who had broken it out with their ox-teams in the open, had thickly bedded it in snow. In the valleys and sheltered spots it remained free, and so wide that encountering teams could easily pass each other; but where it climbed a hill, or crossed a treeless level, it was narrowed to a single track, with turn-outs at established points, where the drivers of the sleighs waited to be sure that the stretch beyond was clear before going forward. In the country, the winter which held the village in such close siege was an occupation under which Nature seemed to cower helpless, and men made a desperate and ineffectual struggle. The houses, banked up with snow almost to the sills of the windows that looked out, blind with frost, upon the lifeless world, were dwarfed in the drifts, and seemed to founder in a white sea blotched with strange bluish shadows under the slanting sun. Where they fronted close upon the road, it was evident that the fight with the snow was kept up unrelentingly; spaces were shovelled out, and paths were kept open to the middle of the highway, and to the barn; but where they were somewhat removed, there was no visible trace of the conflict, and no sign of life except the faint, wreathed lines of smoke wavering upward from the chimneys.
Bartley and Marcia took the "Long Drive," as it was called, at Equity. The road dipped into the dark wooded ravine beyond the house and then veered eastward, crossing loop after loop of the river on the covered bridges. The neighbors had cleared it out with their ox-teams, packing it down with snow. In the valleys and sheltered areas, it remained clear and wide enough for teams to easily pass each other; but where it climbed a hill or crossed an open flat area, it narrowed to a single track, with designated pull-offs where the sleigh drivers waited to ensure the path ahead was clear before proceeding. In the countryside, the harsh winter that had the village in its grip made Nature seem defenseless, while people fought a losing battle. The houses, piled high with snow almost to the window sills that looked out, frost-covered and staring into the lifeless world, appeared small in the drifts and seemed to be sinking in a white sea streaked with strange bluish shadows under the slanting sun. Where they faced the road, it was clear that the fight against the snow was relentless; spaces were shoveled out, and paths were kept clear to the middle of the highway and to the barn. However, where the houses were set back a bit, there were no visible signs of the struggle, and the only signs of life were the faint, spiraling lines of smoke rising from the chimneys.
In the hollows through which the road passed, the lower boughs of the pines and hemlocks were weighed down with the snow-fall till they lay half submerged in the drifts; but wherever the wind could strike them, they swung free of this load and met in low, flat arches above the track. The river betrayed itself only when the swift current of a ripple broke through the white surface in long, irregular, grayish blurs. It was all wild and lonesome, but to the girl alone in it with her lover, the solitude was sweet, and she did not wish to speak even to him. His hands were both busy with the reins, but it was agreed between them that she might lock hers through his arm. Cowering close to him under the robes, she laid her head on his shoulder and looked out over the flying landscape in measureless content, and smiled, with filling eyes, when he bent over, and warmed his cold, red cheek on the top of her fur cap.
In the valleys where the road went through, the lower branches of the pines and hemlocks were weighed down by the snowfall, almost buried in the drifts. But wherever the wind could hit them, they swung free from the snow and formed low, flat arches above the path. The river only revealed itself when a fast ripple broke through the white surface, creating long, uneven grayish streaks. It all felt wild and lonely, but for the girl alone with her partner, the solitude was comforting, and she didn’t want to say anything, even to him. His hands were busy steering the reins, but they had agreed that she could thread her arm through his. Snuggling close to him under the blankets, she rested her head on his shoulder and gazed out at the rushing scenery with immense happiness, smiling with teary eyes when he leaned over and warmed his cold, red cheek on her fur cap.
The moments of bliss that silence a woman rouse a man to make sure of his rapture. “How do you like it, Marsh?” he asked, trying at one of these times to peer round into her face. “Are you afraid?”
The moments of bliss that leave a woman speechless push a man to ensure his own joy. “How do you like it, Marsh?” he asked, trying during one of these moments to look into her face. “Are you scared?”
“No,—only of getting back too soon.”
“No, just worried about getting back too soon.”
He made the shivering echoes answer with his delight in this, and chirruped to the colt, who pushed forward at a wilder speed, flinging his hoofs out before him with the straight thrust of the horn trotter, and seeming to overtake them as they flew. “I should like this ride to last forever!”
He let the chilling echoes reflect his excitement and called out to the colt, which surged ahead at a faster pace, kicking its hooves out like a thoroughbred, and appearing to catch up to them as they raced. “I wish this ride could last forever!”
“Forever!” she repeated. “That would do for a beginning.”
“Forever!” she said again. “That would be a good start.”
“Marsh! What a girl you are! I never supposed you would be so free to let a fellow know how much you cared for him.”
“Marsh! What a girl you are! I never thought you would be so open about how much you cared for him.”
“Neither did I,” she answered dreamily. “But now—now the only trouble is that I don't know how to let him know.” She gave his arm to which she clung a little convulsive clutch, and pressed her head harder upon his shoulder.
“Me neither,” she replied dreamily. “But now—the only problem is I don't know how to tell him.” She gave his arm, which she held onto, a slightly tight grip and rested her head more firmly on his shoulder.
“Well, that's pretty much my complaint, too,” said Bartley, “though I couldn't have expressed it so well.”
“Well, that's pretty much my complaint, too,” Bartley said, “though I couldn't have said it as well.”
“Oh, you express!” she murmured, with the pride in him which implied that there were no thoughts worth expressing to which he could not give a monumental utterance. Her adoration flattered his self-love to the same passionate intensity, and to something like the generous complexion of her worship.
“Oh, you express!” she whispered, filled with pride in him, suggesting that there were no thoughts worth sharing that he couldn’t articulate in a powerful way. Her admiration boosted his self-esteem with the same passionate intensity, and mirrored the generous nature of her devotion.
“Marcia,” he answered, “I am going to try to be all you expect of me. And I hope I shall never do anything unworthy of your ideal.”
“Marcia,” he replied, “I'm going to do my best to be everything you expect of me. And I hope I never do anything that falls short of your ideal.”
She could only press his arm again in speechless joy, but she said to herself that she should always remember these words.
She could only squeeze his arm again in silent happiness, but she told herself that she would always remember these words.
The wind had been rising ever since they started but they had not noticed it till now, when the woods began to thin away on either side, and he stopped before striking out over one of the naked stretches of the plain,—a white waste swept by the blasts that sucked down through a gorge of the mountain, and flattened the snow-drifts as the tornado flattens the waves. Across this expanse ran the road, its stiff lines obliterated here and there, in the slight depressions, and showing dark along the rest of the track.
The wind had been getting stronger ever since they started, but they hadn’t noticed until now, when the woods began to thin on either side. He paused before stepping out onto one of the bare stretches of the plain—a white wasteland whipped by gusts that rushed down through a mountain gorge, flattening the snowdrifts like a tornado levels the waves. Across this expanse ran the road, its rigid lines fading in some of the slight dips, but remaining dark along most of the path.
It was a good half-mile to the next body of woods, and midway there was one of those sidings where a sleigh approaching from the other quarter must turn out and yield the right of way. Bartley stopped his colt, and scanned the road.
It was a good half-mile to the next patch of woods, and halfway there was one of those turnouts where a sleigh coming from the other direction had to pull over and give way. Bartley stopped his colt and looked down the road.
“Anybody coming?” asked Marcia.
“Anyone coming?” asked Marcia.
“No, I don't see any one. But if there's any one in the woods yonder, they'd better wait till I get across. No horse in Equity can beat this colt to the turn-out.”
“No, I don't see anyone. But if there's anyone in the woods over there, they'd better wait until I get across. No horse in Equity can outrun this colt to the finish.”
“Oh, well, look carefully, Bartley. If we met any one beyond the turn-out, I don't know what I should do,” pleaded the girl.
“Oh, well, look closely, Bartley. If we ran into anyone beyond the turn-out, I don’t know what I’d do,” the girl pleaded.
“I don't know what they would do,” said Bartley. “But it's their lookout now, if they come. Wrap your face up well, or put your head under the robe. I've got to hold my breath the next half-mile.” He loosed the reins, and sped the colt out of the shelter where he had halted. The wind struck them like an edge of steel, and, catching the powdery snow that their horse's hoofs beat up, sent it spinning and swirling far along the glistening levels on their lee. They felt the thrill of the go as if they were in some light boat leaping over a swift current. Marcia disdained to cover her face, if he must confront the wind, but after a few gasps she was glad to bend forward, and bury it in the long hair of the bearskin robe. When she lifted it, they were already past the siding, and she saw a cutter dashing toward them from the cover of the woods. “Bartley!” she screamed, “the sleigh!”
“I don't know what they would do,” said Bartley. “But it's their problem now if they come. Cover your face well, or tuck your head under the robe. I have to hold my breath for the next half-mile.” He loosened the reins and took off, leading the colt out of the shelter where he had stopped. The wind hit them like a blade, and as it caught the powdery snow kicked up by their horse's hooves, it sent it spinning and swirling along the shining surfaces to their side. They felt the excitement of the ride as if they were in a small boat bouncing over a fast current. Marcia refused to cover her face, wanting to face the wind, but after a few deep breaths, she was glad to lean forward and bury her face in the long hair of the bearskin robe. When she looked up, they had already passed the siding, and she saw a cutter racing toward them from the shelter of the woods. “Bartley!” she screamed, “the sleigh!”
“Yes,” he shouted. “Some fool! There's going to be trouble here,” he added, checking his horse as he could. “They don't seem to know how to manage—It's a couple of women! Hold on! hold on!” he called. “Don't try to turn out! I'll turn out!”
“Yeah,” he yelled. “Some idiot! There's going to be a problem here,” he added, trying to control his horse as best as he could. “They don't seem to know what they're doing—It’s just a couple of women! Wait! wait!” he called. “Don't try to move aside! I'll move aside!”
The women pulled their horse's head this way and that, in apparent confusion, and then began to turn out into the trackless snow at the roadside, in spite of Bartley's frantic efforts to arrest them. They sank deeper and deeper into the drift; their horse plunged and struggled, and then their cutter went over, amidst their shrieks and cries for help.
The women yanked their horse's head back and forth, clearly confused, and then started moving into the deep snow at the side of the road, ignoring Bartley's desperate attempts to stop them. They sunk deeper into the drift; their horse reared and fought, and then their sled flipped over, filled with their screams and calls for help.
Bartley drove up abreast of the wreck, and, saying, “Still, Jerry! Don't be afraid, Marcia,”—he put the reins into her hands, and sprang out to the rescue.
Bartley pulled up next to the wreck and, saying, “Hold on, Jerry! Don’t be scared, Marcia,” he handed her the reins and jumped out to help.
One of the women had been flung out free of the sleigh, and had already gathered herself up, and stood crying and wringing her hands; “Oh, Mr. Hubbard, Mr. Hubbard! Help Hannah! she's under there!”
One of the women had been thrown out of the sleigh and had already picked herself up, standing there crying and wringing her hands. "Oh, Mr. Hubbard, Mr. Hubbard! Help Hannah! She's under there!"
“All right! Keep quiet, Mrs. Morrison! Take hold of your horse's head!” Bartley had first of all seized him by the bit, and pulled him to his feet; he was old and experienced in obedience, and he now stood waiting orders, patiently enough. Bartley seized the cutter and by an effort of all his strength righted it. The colt started and trembled, but Marcia called to him in Bartley's tone, “Still, Jerry!” and he obeyed her.
“All right! Be quiet, Mrs. Morrison! Grab your horse's head!” Bartley first grabbed the bit and pulled the horse to its feet; he was old and used to following orders, and now he stood there waiting patiently for instructions. Bartley took hold of the cutter and, using all his strength, managed to right it. The colt jumped and shook, but Marcia called to him in Bartley's tone, “Easy, Jerry!” and he listened to her.
The girl, who had been caught under the overturned cutter, escaped like a wild thing out of a trap, when it was lifted, and, plunging some paces away, faced round upon her rescuer with the hood pulled straight and set comely to her face again, almost before he could ask, “Any bones broken, Hannah?”
The girl, who had been trapped under the overturned cutter, broke free like a wild animal escaping a trap when it was lifted. She dashed a few steps away and turned to her rescuer, her hood adjusted neatly back in place, almost before he could ask, “Any broken bones, Hannah?”
“No!” she shouted. “Mother! mother! stop crying! Don't you see I'm not dead?” She leaped about, catching up this wrap and that, shaking the dry snow out of them, and flinging them back into the cutter, while she laughed in the wild tumult of her spirits. Bartley helped her pick up the fragments of the wreck, and joined her in making fun of the adventure. The wind hustled them, but they were warm in defiance of it with their jollity and their bustle.
No!” she yelled. “Mom! Mom! stop crying! Can’t you see I’m not dead?” She jumped around, grabbing this coat and that, shaking the dry snow off them, and tossing them back into the wagon while laughing with wild excitement. Bartley helped her gather the pieces of the mess and joined in making fun of the whole situation. The wind rushed around them, but they felt warm despite it with their joy and energy.
“Why didn't you let me turn out?” demanded Bartley, as he and the girl stood on opposite sides of the cutter, rearranging the robes in it.
“Why didn't you let me turn out?” Bartley asked, as he and the girl stood on opposite sides of the cutter, adjusting the blankets in it.
“Oh, I thought I could turn out well enough. You had a right to the road.”
“Oh, I thought I could manage just fine. You had every right to the road.”
“Well, the next time you see any one past the turn-out, you better not start from the woods.”
“Well, the next time you see anyone past the turn-out, you better not start from the woods.”
“Why, there's no more room in the woods to get past than there is here,” cried the girl.
“Why, there’s no more room in the woods to get through than there is here,” cried the girl.
“There's more shelter.”
“There's more cover.”
“Oh, I'm not cold!” She flashed a look at him from her brilliant face, warm with all the glow of her young health, and laughed, and before she dropped her eyes, she included Marcia in her glance. They had already looked at each other without any sign of recognition. “Come, mother! All right, now!”
“Oh, I’m not cold!” She shot him a glance from her radiant face, glowing with the warmth of her youthful health, and laughed. Before she looked away, she included Marcia in her gaze. They had already exchanged looks without any sign of recognition. “Come on, Mom! Okay, now!”
Her mother left the horse's head, and, heavily ploughing back to the cutter, tumbled herself in. The girl, from her side, began to climb in, but her weight made the sleigh careen, and she dropped down with a gay shriek.
Her mother left the horse's head and, struggling to get back to the cutter, tumbled in. The girl started to climb in from her side, but her weight made the sleigh tip, and she fell down with a cheerful shriek.
Bartley came round and lifted her in; the girl called to her horse, and drove up into the road and away.
Bartley came over and helped her inside; the girl called to her horse and drove up onto the road and off.
Bartley looked after her a moment, and continued to glance in that direction when he stood stamping the snow off his feet, and brushing it from his legs and arms, before he remounted to Marcia's side. He was excited, and talked rapidly and loudly, as he took the reins from Marcia's passive hold, and let the colt out. “That girl is the pluckiest fool, yet! Wouldn't let me turn out because I had the right of way! And she wasn't going to let anybody else have a hand in getting that old ark of theirs afloat again. Good their horse wasn't anything like Jerry! How well Jerry behaved! Were you frightened, Marsh?” He bent over to see her face, but she had not her head on his shoulder, and she did not sit close to him, now. “Did you freeze?”
Bartley watched her for a moment and kept looking in her direction while he stamped the snow off his feet and brushed it off his legs and arms before remounting next to Marcia. He was excited and spoke quickly and loudly as he took the reins from Marcia's relaxed grip and let the colt run. “That girl is the bravest fool! She wouldn't let me take my turn because I had the right of way! And she wasn’t about to let anyone else help get that old boat of theirs back in the water. Luckily, their horse wasn’t anything like Jerry! Jerry behaved so well! Were you scared, Marsh?” He leaned over to see her face, but she didn’t have her head on his shoulder and wasn’t sitting close to him now. “Did you get cold?”
“Oh, no! I got along very well,” she answered, dryly, and edged away as far as the width of the seat would permit. “It would have been better for you to lead their horse up into the road, and then she could have got in without your help. Her mother got in alone.”
“Oh, no! I was fine,” she replied dryly, moving as far away as the seat allowed. “It would have been better for you to lead their horse onto the road, and then she could have climbed in by herself. Her mother got in on her own.”
He took the reins into his left hand, and, passing his strong right around her, pulled her up to his side. She resisted, with diminishing force; at last she ceased to resist, and her head fell passively to its former place on his shoulder. He did not try to speak any word of comfort; he only held her close to him; when she looked up, as they entered the village, she confronted him with a brilliant smile that ignored her tears.
He took the reins in his left hand and, wrapping his strong right arm around her, pulled her close to his side. She resisted at first, but her struggle weakened; eventually, she stopped resisting, and her head fell back onto his shoulder. He didn’t say anything to comfort her; he just held her tightly. When she looked up as they entered the village, she met his gaze with a bright smile that didn’t acknowledge her tears.
But that night, when she followed him to the door, she looked him searchingly in the eyes. “I wonder if you really do despise me, Bartley?” she asked.
But that night, when she followed him to the door, she looked him straight in the eyes. “I wonder if you really do despise me, Bartley?” she asked.
“Certainly,” he answered, with a jesting smile. “What for?”
“Sure,” he replied, with a teasing smile. “What for?”
“For showing out my feelings so. For not even trying to pretend not to care everything for you.”
“For expressing my feelings like this. For not even trying to pretend that I don’t care about you at all.”
“It wouldn't be any use your trying: I should know that you did, anyway.”
“It wouldn’t do any good to try: I would know that you did, no matter what.”
“Oh, don't laugh, Bartley, don't laugh! I don't believe that I ought to. I've heard that it makes people sick of you. But I can't help it,—I can't help it! And if—if you think I'm always going to be so,—and that I'm going to keep on getting worse and worse, and making you so unhappy, why, you'd better break your engagement now—while you have a chance.”
“Oh, don’t laugh, Bartley, don’t laugh! I don't think I should. I’ve heard it turns people off. But I can't help it—I just can't! And if you believe I'm always going to be like this, getting worse and worse, and making you so unhappy, then you should end your engagement now—while you still can.”
“What have you been making me unhappy about, I should like to know? I thought I'd been having a very good time.”
“What have you been doing to make me unhappy? I’d really like to know. I thought I was having a great time.”
She hid her face against his breast. “It almost killed me to see you there with her. I was so cold,—my hands were half frozen, holding the reins,—and I was so afraid of the colt I didn't know what to do; and I had been keeping up my courage on your account; and you seemed so long about it all; and she could have got in perfectly well—as well as her mother did—without your help—” Her voice broke in a miserable sob, and she clutched herself tighter to him.
She buried her face against his chest. “It almost killed me to see you there with her. I was so cold—my hands were nearly frozen holding the reins—and I was so scared of the colt that I didn’t know what to do; I was trying to stay strong for you; and it felt like you were taking forever; and she could have easily gotten in—just like her mother did—without your help—” Her voice cracked with a painful sob, and she held onto him tighter.
He smoothed down her hair with his hand. “Why, Marsh! Did you think that made me unhappy? I didn't mind it a bit. I knew what the trouble was, at the time; but I wasn't going to say anything. I knew you would be all right as soon as you could think it over. You don't suppose I care anything for that girl?”
He brushed her hair down with his hand. “Why, Marsh! Did you think that made me upset? I didn't mind it at all. I understood what the issue was back then; but I wasn't going to bring it up. I knew you’d be fine once you had a chance to think it over. You don't really think I care about that girl, do you?”
“No,” answered a rueful sob. “But I wish you didn't have anything to do with her. I know she'll make trouble for you, somehow.”
“No,” came a regretful sob. “But I wish you didn't have anything to do with her. I know she'll cause you trouble in some way.”
“Well,” said Bartley, “I can't very well turn her off as long as she does her work. But you needn't be worried about making me unhappy. If anything, I rather liked it. It showed how much you did care for me.” He bent toward her, with a look of bright raillery, for the parting kiss. “Now then: once, twice, three times,—and good night it is!”
“Well,” Bartley said, “I can’t just send her away as long as she’s doing her job. But you don’t need to worry about making me unhappy. If anything, I actually liked it. It showed how much you really care about me.” He leaned toward her with a playful smile, ready for the goodbye kiss. “Alright then: once, twice, three times,—and good night it is!”
VI.
The spectacle of a love affair in which the woman gives more of her heart than the man gives of his is so pitiable that we are apt to attribute a kind of merit to her, as if it were a voluntary self-sacrifice for her to love more than her share. Not only other men, but other women, look on with this canonizing compassion; for women have a lively power of imagining themselves in the place of any sister who suffers in matters of sentiment, and are eager to espouse the common cause in commiserating her. Each of them pictures herself similarly wronged or slighted by the man she likes best, and feels how cruel it would be if he were to care less for her than she for him; and for the time being, in order to realize the situation, she loads him with all the sins of omission proper to the culprit in the alien case. But possibly there is a compensation in merely loving, even where the love given is out of all proportion to the love received.
The sight of a love affair where the woman invests more of her heart than the man does is so sad that we tend to see her as somewhat heroic, as if it's a selfless act for her to love more than her fair share. Not just men, but other women, also observe with this kind of sympathetic admiration; women have a strong ability to imagine themselves in the shoes of any sister who is hurting in matters of love, and they are quick to join in supporting her. Each of them envisions herself similarly wronged or overlooked by the man she loves most and can feel how painful it would be if he cared less for her than she does for him; and for that moment, to truly understand the situation, she attributes to him all the faults typical of someone in the other person's situation. Yet, there might be a silver lining in simply loving, even when the love given far exceeds the love received.
If Bartley Hubbard's sensations and impressions of the day had been at all reasoned, that night as he lay thinking it over, he could unquestionably have seen many advantages for Marcia in the affair,—perhaps more than for himself. But to do him justice he did not formulate these now, or in any wise explicitly recognize the favors he was bestowing. At twenty-six one does not naturally compute them in musing upon the girl to whom one is just betrothed; and Bartley's mind was a confusion of pleasure. He liked so well to think how fond of him Marcia was, that it did not occur to him then to question whether he were as fond of her. It is possible that as he drowsed, at last, there floated airily through the consciousness which was melting and dispersing itself before the approach of sleep, an intimation from somewhere to some one that perhaps the affair need not be considered too seriously. But in that mysterious limbo one cannot be sure of what is thought and what is dreamed; and Bartley always acquitted himself, and probably with justice, of any want of seriousness.
If Bartley Hubbard had taken the time to think through his feelings about the day, that night as he lay there reflecting, he would have definitely recognized that there were plenty of benefits for Marcia in their situation—maybe even more than for himself. But to be fair to him, he didn’t really put those thoughts into words or consciously acknowledge the advantages he was offering. At twenty-six, it’s not typical to analyze those things while daydreaming about the girl you’ve just gotten engaged to, and Bartley’s thoughts were a jumble of happiness. He was so thrilled to think about how much Marcia cared for him that it didn’t even cross his mind to question whether he felt as strongly about her. It’s possible that as he finally drifted off to sleep, a fleeting thought brushed through his mind that maybe the whole situation didn’t need to be taken too seriously. But in that hazy space between wakefulness and sleep, it’s hard to tell what’s a thought and what’s a dream; Bartley always believed he was serious enough, and probably rightly so.
What he did make sure of when he woke was that he was still out of sorts, and that he had again that dull headache; and his instant longing for sympathy did more than anything else to convince him that he really loved Marcia, and had never, in his obscurest or remotest feeling, swerved in his fealty to her. In the atmosphere of her devotion yesterday, he had so wholly forgotten his sufferings that he had imagined himself well; but now he found that he was not well, and he began to believe that he was going to have what the country people call a fit of sickness. He felt that he ought to be taken care, of, that he was unfit to work; and in his vexation at not being able to go to Marcia for comfort-it really amounted to nothing less—he entered upon the day's affairs with fretful impatience.
When he woke up, the first thing he noticed was that he still felt out of sorts and had that dull headache again. His immediate craving for sympathy only reinforced his belief that he truly loved Marcia and had never, in even his most obscure feelings, strayed from his loyalty to her. Yesterday, in the warmth of her devotion, he had completely forgotten his discomfort and imagined he felt fine; but now he realized that he wasn't well, and he started to think he was going to have what the locals call a bout of illness. He felt like he needed to be taken care of, like he couldn't work; and in his frustration at not being able to go to Marcia for comfort—because that’s really what it was—he faced the day's tasks with annoyed impatience.
The Free Press was published on Tuesdays, and Monday was always a busy time of preparation. The hands were apt also to feel the demoralization that follows a holiday, even when it has been a holy day. The girls who set the type of the Free Press had by no means foregone the rights and privileges of their sex in espousing their art, and they had their beaux on Sunday night like other young ladies. It resulted that on Monday morning they were nervous and impatient, alternating between fits of giggling delight in the interchange of fond reminiscences, and the crossness which is pretty sure to disfigure human behavior from want of sleep. But ordinarily Bartley got on very well with them. In spite of the assumption of equality between all classes in Equity, they stood in secret awe of his personal splendor, and the tradition of his achievements at college and in the great world; and a flattering joke or a sharp sarcasm from him went a great way with them. Besides, he had an efficient lieutenant in Henry Bird, the young printer who had picked up his trade in the office, and who acted as Bartley's foreman, so far as the establishment had an organization. Bird had industry and discipline which were contagious, and that love of his work which is said to be growing rare among artisans in the modern subdivision of trades. This boy—for he was only nineteen—worked at his craft early and late out of pleasure in it. He seemed one of those simple, subordinate natures which are happy in looking up to whatever assumes to be above them. He exulted to serve in a world where most people prefer to be served, and it is uncertain whether he liked his work better for its own sake, or Bartley's, for whom he did it. He was slight and rather delicate in health, and it came natural for Bartley to patronize him. He took him on the long walks of which he was fond, and made him in some sort his humble confidant, talking to him of himself and his plans with large and braggart vagueness. He depended upon Bird in a great many things, and Bird never failed him; for he had a basis of constancy that was immovable. “No,” said a philosopher from a neighboring logging-camp, who used to hang about the printing-office a long time after he had got his paper, “there aint a great deal of natural git up and howl about Henry; but he stays put.” In the confidences which Bartley used to make Bird, he promised that, when he left the newspaper for the law, he would see that no one else succeeded him. The young fellow did not need this promise to make him Bartley's fast friend, but it colored his affection with ambitious enthusiasm; to edit and publish a newspaper,—his dreams did not go beyond that: to devote it to Bartley's interest in the political life on which Bartley often hinted he might enter,—that would be the sweetest privilege of realized success. Bird already wrote paragraphs for the Free Press, and Bartley let him make up a column of news from the city exchanges, which was partly written and partly selected.
The Free Press came out on Tuesdays, making Monday a hectic day of preparation. The team often felt the letdown after a holiday, even if it was a religious one. The women who set the type for the Free Press didn’t give up the rights and privileges of being women just because they were pursuing their craft; they had their boyfriends on Sunday nights like any other young ladies. As a result, Monday mornings were filled with nervous energy and impatience, swinging between giggles over shared memories and the crankiness that usually comes from lack of sleep. But typically, Bartley got along well with them. Despite the formal equality among all classes at Equity, they secretly admired his personal charm and the stories of his accomplishments in college and the wider world; a compliment or a witty remark from him went a long way with them. Plus, he had a capable assistant in Henry Bird, the young printer who had learned his trade in the office and served as Bartley's foreman, at least in terms of organization. Bird had a hardworking nature and discipline that inspired others, along with a passion for his work that’s becoming rare among craftsmen today. This kid—he was only nineteen—put in long hours out of genuine enjoyment. He seemed like one of those uncomplicated, eager people who find happiness in looking up to those they see as superior. He took pride in contributing to a world where most prefer to be served, and it was hard to tell whether he enjoyed his work more for its own sake or for Bartley, for whom he did it. He was slight and somewhat frail, which made it easy for Bartley to look out for him. He took Bird on long walks, which he loved, and made him a kind of humble confidant, sharing thoughts about himself and his vague, boastful plans. Bartley relied on Bird for many things, and Bird never let him down; he had a foundation of loyalty that was steadfast. “No,” said a philosopher from a nearby logging camp, who would hang around the printing office long after he got his paper, “there isn’t a lot of natural energy about Henry, but he always shows up.” In the things Bartley confided in Bird, he promised that when he moved on from the newspaper to the law, he wouldn’t let anyone else take his place. Bird didn’t need this promise to be Bartley’s close friend, but it added a layer of ambitious enthusiasm to his loyalty; the idea of editing and publishing a newspaper—his dreams didn’t stretch beyond that—dedicating it to Bartley’s interest in the political arena that Bartley often suggested he might enter—that would be the ultimate mark of success. Bird already wrote some articles for the Free Press, and Bartley let him assemble a column of news from city exchanges, which was partly written and partly curated.
Bartley came to the office rather late on Monday morning, bringing with him the papers from Saturday night's mail, which had lain unopened over Sunday, and went directly into his own room, without looking into the printing-office. He felt feverish and irritable, and he resolved to fill up with selections and let his editorial paragraphing go, or get Bird to do it. He was tired of the work, and sick of Equity; Marcia's face seemed to look sadly in upon his angry discontent, and he no longer wished to go to her for sympathy. His door opened, and, without glancing from the newspaper which he held up before him, he asked, “What is it, Bird? Do you want copy?”
Bartley arrived at the office quite late on Monday morning, bringing with him the papers from Saturday night's mail that had been left unopened over Sunday. He went straight into his own room without checking in at the printing office. He felt restless and irritable and decided to just fill up with selections and skip the editorial paragraphing, or ask Bird to do it. He was tired of the work and fed up with Equity; Marcia's face seemed to sadly look in on his angry discontent, and he no longer wanted to seek her sympathy. His door opened, and without looking away from the newspaper he was holding, he asked, “What is it, Bird? Do you need copy?”
“Well, no, Mr. Hubbard,” answered Bird, “we have copy enough for the force we've got this morning.”
“Well, no, Mr. Hubbard,” Bird replied, “we have enough copies for the team we have this morning.”
“Why, what's up?” demanded Bartley, dropping his paper.
“What's going on?” Bartley asked, dropping his newspaper.
“Lizzie Sawyer has sent word that she is sick, and we haven't heard or seen anything of Hannah Morrison.”
“Lizzie Sawyer has let us know that she’s sick, and we still haven't heard or seen anything from Hannah Morrison.”
“Confound the girls!” said Bartley, “there's always something the matter with them.” He rubbed his hand over his forehead, as if to rub out the dull pain there. “Well,” he said, “I must go to work myself, then.” He rose, and took hold of the lapels of his coat, to pull it off; but something in Bird's look arrested him. “What is it?” he asked.
“Darn the girls!” Bartley said. “There’s always something wrong with them.” He rubbed his forehead, trying to ease the dull pain there. “Well,” he said, “I guess I have to get to work myself, then.” He stood up and grabbed the lapels of his coat to take it off, but something in Bird's expression stopped him. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“Old Morrison was here, just before you came in, and said he wanted to see you. I think he was drunk,” said Bird, anxiously. “He said he was coming back again.”
“Old Morrison was here right before you walked in and said he wanted to see you. I think he was drunk,” Bird said nervously. “He said he’d be back again.”
“All right; let him come,” replied Bartley. “This is a free country,—especially in Equity. I suppose he wants Hannah's wages raised, as usual. How much are we behind on the paper, Henry?”
“All right; let him come,” Bartley replied. “This is a free country—especially in Equity. I guess he wants Hannah's pay raised, like always. How much do we owe on the paper, Henry?”
“We're not a great deal behind, Mr. Hubbard, if we were not so weak-handed.”
“We're not really that far behind, Mr. Hubbard, if we weren't so short-handed.”
“Perhaps we can get Hannah back, during the forenoon. At any rate, we can ask her honored parent when he comes.”
“Maybe we can get Hannah back in the morning. Either way, we can ask her respected parent when he arrives.”
Where Morrison got his liquor was a question that agitated Equity from time to time, and baffled the officer of the law empowered to see that no strong drink came into the town. Under conditions which made it impossible even in the logging-camps, and rendered the sale of spirits too precarious for the apothecary, who might be supposed to deal in them medicinally, Morrison never failed of his spree when the mysterious mechanism of his appetite enforced it. Probably it was some form of bedevilled cider that supplied the material of his debauch; but even cider was not easily to be had.
Where Morrison got his liquor was a question that puzzled the community from time to time and confused the law enforcement officer responsible for making sure no strong drinks came into town. Given the conditions that made it impossible to find any in the logging camps and made the sale of alcohol too risky for the pharmacist, who might be thought to sell it for medicinal purposes, Morrison never missed his drinking binge when his cravings kicked in. It was likely some kind of cursed cider that fueled his wild nights; but even cider wasn't easy to come by.
Morrison's spree was a movable feast, and recurred at irregular intervals of two, or three, or even six weeks; but it recurred often enough to keep him poor, and his family in a social outlawry against which the kindly instincts of their neighbors struggled in vain. Mrs. Morrison was that pariah who, in a village like Equity, cuts herself off from hope by taking in washing; and it was a decided rise in the world for Hannah, a wild girl at school, to get a place in the printing-office. Her father had applied for it humbly enough at the tremulous and penitent close of one of his long sprees, and was grateful to Bartley for taking the special interest in her which she reported at home.
Morrison's binge was a traveling feast, happening at unpredictable intervals of two, three, or even six weeks; but it happened often enough to keep him broke and his family viewed as social outcasts, despite their neighbors’ kind intentions. Mrs. Morrison was that outcast who, in a town like Equity, cut herself off from hope by doing laundry; and it was a significant achievement for Hannah, a wild girl in school, to get a job at the printing office. Her father had asked for it humbly at the shaky and remorseful end of one of his long binges, and he was grateful to Bartley for showing special interest in her, which she shared with her family at home.
But the independence of a drunken shoemaker is proverbial, and Morrison's meek spirit soared into lordly arrogance with his earliest cups. The first warning which the community had of his change of attitude was the conspicuous and even defiant closure of his shop, and the scornful rejection of custom, however urgent or necessitous. All Equity might go in broken shoes, for any patching or half-soling the people got from him. He went about collecting his small dues, and paying up his debts as long as the money lasted, in token of his resolution not to take any favors from any man thereafter. Then he retired to his house on one of the by streets, and by degrees drank himself past active offence. It was of course in his defiant humor that he came to visit Bartley, who had learned to expect him whenever Hannah failed to appear promptly at her work. The affair was always easily arranged. Bartley instantly assented, with whatever irony he liked, to Morrison's demands; he refused with overwhelming politeness even to permit him to give himself the trouble to support them by argument; he complimented Hannah inordinately as one of the most gifted and accomplished ladies of his acquaintance, and inquired affectionately after the health of each member of the Morrison family. When Morrison rose to go he always said, in shaking hands, “Well, sir, if there was more like you in Equity a poor man could get along. You're a gentleman, sir.” After getting some paces away from the street door, he stumbled back up the stairs to repeat, “You're a gentleman!” Hannah came during the day, and the wages remained the same: neither of the contracting parties regarded the increase so elaborately agreed upon, and Morrison, on becoming sober, gratefully ignored the whole transaction, though, by a curious juggle of his brain, he recurred to it in his next spree, and advanced in his new demand from the last rise: his daughter was now nominally in receipt of an income of forty dollars a week, but actually accepted four.
But the independence of a drunken shoemaker is well-known, and Morrison's timid nature turned into arrogant pride after his first drinks. The community's first sign of his change was the obvious and even defiant closing of his shop and his scornful rejection of customers, regardless of how urgent or needy they were. All of Equity could deal with broken shoes, as he wouldn’t patch or half-sole for anyone. He went around collecting his small payments and settling his debts as long as he had money left, showing he wouldn’t accept any favors from anyone going forward. Then he retreated to his home on a side street and gradually drank himself into a state where he no longer actively caused trouble. It was in this rebellious mood that he visited Bartley, who had learned to expect him whenever Hannah was late to work. The situation was always easily managed. Bartley would instantly agree to Morrison's requests, adding whatever irony he liked; he politely insisted that Morrison didn't need to argue his case; he excessively complimented Hannah as one of the most talented and accomplished women he knew, and he warmly inquired about the health of every member of the Morrison family. When Morrison stood to leave, he always shook hands and said, “Well, sir, if there were more people like you in Equity, a poor man could get by. You're a gentleman, sir.” After strolling away from the front door, he would stumble back up the stairs to repeat, “You're a gentleman!” Hannah would come during the day, and the wages stayed the same: neither party paid attention to the raise they had agreed upon, and when Morrison sobered up, he gratefully ignored the whole deal. However, in a strange twist of his mind, he brought it up again during his next binge and increased his new demands based on the last raise: his daughter was now supposedly making forty dollars a week, but in reality, she was getting four.
Bartley, on his part, enjoyed the business as an agreeable excitement and a welcome relief from the monotony of his official life. He never hurried Morrison's visits, but amused himself by treating him with the most flattering distinction, and baffling his arrogance by immediate concession. But this morning, when Morrison came back with a front of uncommon fierceness, he merely looked up from his newspapers, to which he had recurred, and said coolly. “Oh, Mr. Morrison! Good morning. I suppose it's that little advance that you wish to see me about. Take a chair. What is the increase you ask this time? Of course I agree to anything.”
Bartley, for his part, found the business to be an enjoyable thrill and a much-needed break from the dullness of his work life. He never rushed Morrison's visits but entertained himself by treating him with the utmost respect and confusing his arrogance with immediate agreement. However, this morning, when Morrison returned with an unusually fierce demeanor, Bartley simply looked up from his newspapers, which he had gone back to reading, and said casually, “Oh, Mr. Morrison! Good morning. I assume you want to discuss that little advance? Please, have a seat. What increase are you asking for this time? Of course, I’ll agree to anything.”
He leaned forward, pencil in hand, to make a note of the figure Morrison should name, when the drunkard approached and struck the table in front of him with his fist, and blazed upon Bartley's face, suddenly uplifted, with his blue crazy eyes:
He leaned forward, pencil in hand, to jot down the figure Morrison should mention, when the drunk came over and slammed his fist on the table in front of him, and shouted at Bartley, whose face suddenly lifted, with his wild blue eyes:
“No, sir! I won't take a seat, and I don't come on no such business! No, sir!” He struck the table again, and the violence of his blow upset the inkstand.
“No, sir! I won't sit down, and I'm not here for that kind of business! No, sir!” He hit the table again, and the force of his blow knocked over the inkstand.
Bartley saved himself by suddenly springing away. “Hollo here!” he shouted. “What do you mean by this infernal nonsense?”
Bartley saved himself by suddenly jumping away. “Hey there!” he shouted. “What do you think you’re doing with this ridiculous nonsense?”
“What do you mean,” retorted the drunkard, “by makin' up to my girl?”
“What do you mean,” the drunkard shot back, “by hitting on my girl?”
“You're a fool,” cried Bartley, “and drunk!”
"You're an idiot," Bartley shouted, "and you’re drunk!"
“I'll show you whether I'm a fool, and I'll show you whether I'm drunk,” said Morrison. He opened the door and beckoned to Bird, with an air of mysterious authority. “Young man! Come here!”
“I'll prove to you if I'm a fool, and I'll prove to you if I'm drunk,” said Morrison. He opened the door and motioned for Bird to come over, exuding an air of mysterious authority. “Hey! Young man! Come here!”
Bird was used to the indulgence with which Bartley treated Morrison's tipsy freaks, and supposed that he had been called by his consent to witness another agreement to a rise in Hannah's wages. He came quickly, to help get Morrison out of the way the sooner, and he was astonished to be met by Bartley with “I don't want you, Bird.”
Bird was used to the way Bartley dealt with Morrison's drunken antics and thought he had been asked there to witness yet another discussion about a raise in Hannah's wages. He hurried over to help get Morrison out of the way quickly, but he was surprised when Bartley said, “I don't need you, Bird.”
“All right,” answered the boy, and he turned to go out of the door.
“All right,” the boy said, and he turned to head out the door.
But Morrison had planted himself against it, and waved Bird austerely back. “I want you,” he said, with drunken impressiveness, “for a witness—wick—witness—while I ask Mr. Hubbard what he means by—”
But Morrison had positioned himself against it and waved Bird sternly back. “I want you,” he said, with slurred seriousness, “as a witness—wick—witness—while I ask Mr. Hubbard what he means by—”
“Hold your tongue!” cried Bartley. “Get out of this!” He advanced a pace or two toward Morrison who stood his ground without swerving.
“Shut up!” shouted Bartley. “Get out of here!” He took a step or two closer to Morrison, who stayed firm without backing down.
“Now you—you keep quiet, Mr. Hubbard,” said Morrison, with a swift drunken change of mood, by which he passed from arrogant denunciation to a smooth, patronizing mastery of the situation. “I wish this thing all settled amic—ic—amelcabilly.”
“Now you—just be quiet, Mr. Hubbard,” said Morrison, quickly shifting from a drunk, arrogant rant to a calm, condescending control of the situation. “I want this all settled amicably.”
Bartley broke into a helpless laugh at Morrison's final failure on a word difficult to sober tongues, and the latter went on: “No 'casion for bad feeling on either side. All I want know is what you mean.”
Bartley couldn't help but laugh at Morrison's last struggle with a word that's tough for serious people, and Morrison continued: “No reason for bad feelings on either side. All I want to know is what you mean.”
“Well, go on!” cried Bartley, good-naturedly, and he sat down in his chair, which he tilted back, and, clasping his hands behind his head, looked up into Morrison's face. “What do I mean by what?”
“Well, go on!” Bartley exclaimed with a friendly tone as he settled into his chair, tilting it back. He clasped his hands behind his head and looked up at Morrison. “What do I mean by what?”
Probably Morrison had not expected to be categorical, or to bring anything like a bill of particulars against Bartley, and this demand gave him pause. “What you mean,” he said, at last, “by always praising her up so?”
Probably, Morrison didn’t expect to be so definitive or to come up with anything like a detailed complaint against Bartley, and this request made him hesitate. “What do you mean,” he finally said, “by always praising her so much?”
“What I said. She's a very good girl, and a very bright one. You don't deny that?”
“What I said. She's a really great girl, and super smart. You can't dispute that, right?”
“No—no matter what I deny. What—what you lend her all them books for?”
“No—no matter what I say. Why—why did you lend her all those books?”
“To improve her mind. You don't object to that? I thought you once thanked me for taking an interest in her.”
“To help her grow intellectually. You don’t mind that, do you? I remember you once appreciated me for caring about her.”
“Don't you mind what I object to, and what I thank you for,” said Morrison, with dignity. “I know what I'm about.”
“Don’t worry about what I disagree with, and what I appreciate,” said Morrison, confidently. “I know what I’m doing.”
“I begin to doubt. But get on. I'm in a great hurry this morning,” said Bartley.
“I’m starting to have my doubts. But I’ll keep going. I’m in a big rush this morning,” said Bartley.
Morrison seemed to be making a mental examination of his stock of charges, while the strain of keeping his upright position began to tell upon him, and he swayed to and fro against the door. “What's that word you sent her by my boy, Sat'day night?”
Morrison appeared to be mentally reviewing his list of offenses, while the effort of staying upright started to wear on him, and he swayed back and forth against the door. “What was that word you had my kid send her on Saturday night?”
“That she was a smart girl, and would be sure to get on if she was good—or words to that effect. I trust there was no offence in that, Mr. Morrison?”
"She was a smart girl and would definitely succeed if she behaved well—or something like that. I hope that didn’t offend you, Mr. Morrison?"
Morrison surrendered, himself to another season of cogitation, in which he probably found his vagueness growing upon him. He ended by fumbling in all his pockets, and bringing up from the last a crumpled scrap of paper. “What you—what you say that?”
Morrison gave in, entering another season of deep thought, where he likely felt his confusion increasing. He eventually started rummaging through all his pockets and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from the last one. “What did you—what did you say that?”
Bartley took the extended scrap with an easy air. “Miss Morrison's handwriting, I think.” He held it up before him and read aloud, “'I love my love with an H because he is Handsome.' This appears to be a confidence of Miss Morrison to her Muse. Whom do you think she refers to, Mr. Morrison?”
Bartley took the scrap of paper casually. “I think this is Miss Morrison's handwriting.” He held it up and read aloud, “'I love my love with an H because he is Handsome.' This seems to be Miss Morrison confiding in her Muse. Who do you think she’s talking about, Mr. Morrison?”
“What's—what's the first letter your name?” demanded Morrison, with an effort to collect his dispersing severity.
“What's—what's the first letter of your name?” Morrison asked, trying to regain his fading intensity.
“B,” promptly replied Bartley. “Perhaps this concerns you, Henry. Your name begins with an H.” He passed the paper up over his head to Bird, who took it silently. “You see,” he continued, addressing Bird, but looking at Morrison as he spoke, “Mr. Morrison wishes to convict me of an attempt upon Miss Hannah's affections. Have you anything else to urge, Mr. Morrison?”
“B,” Bartley quickly answered. “This might be relevant to you, Henry. Your name starts with an H.” He held the paper up over his head for Bird, who took it without a word. “You see,” he went on, talking to Bird but focusing on Morrison, “Mr. Morrison wants to accuse me of trying to win Miss Hannah's heart. Do you have anything else to say, Mr. Morrison?”
Morrison slid at last from his difficult position into a convenient chair, and struggled to keep himself from doubling forward. “I want know what you mean,” he said, with dogged iteration.
Morrison finally eased himself out of his tough spot and into a nearby chair, fighting to keep from slumping forward. “I want to know what you mean,” he said, determinedly repeating himself.
“I'll show you what I mean,” said Bartley with an ugly quiet, while his mustache began to twitch. He sprang to his feet and seized Morrison by the collar, pulling him up out of the chair till he held him clear of the floor, and opened the door with his other hand. “Don't show your face here again,—you or your girl either!” Still holding the man by the collar, he pushed him before him through the office, and gave him a final thust out of the outer door.
“I'll show you what I mean,” Bartley said with a tense calm, his mustache twitching. He jumped to his feet and grabbed Morrison by the collar, lifting him out of the chair until he was off the ground, and opened the door with his other hand. “Don't ever come back here—neither you nor your girl!” Still holding the man by the collar, he shoved him through the office and gave him a final push out the outer door.
Bartley returned to his room in a white heat: “Miserable tipsy rascal!” he panted; “I wonder who has set him on to this thing.”
Bartley rushed back to his room, extremely frustrated: “What a pathetic drunk!” he gasped; “I wonder who got him started on this.”
Bird stood pale and silent, still, nolding the crumpled scrap of paper in his hand.
Bird stood pale and silent, still, holding the crumpled scrap of paper in his hand.
“I shouldn't be surprised if that impudent little witch herself had put him up to it. She's capable of it,” said Bartley, fumbling aimlessly about on his table, in his wrath, without looking at Bird.
“I wouldn’t be shocked if that cheeky little witch had actually encouraged him to do it. She’s totally capable of that,” Bartley said, angrily messing around with things on his table without even looking at Bird.
“It's a lie!” said Bird.
“It's a lie!” said Bird.
Bartley started as if the other had struck him, and as he glared at Bird the anger went out of his face for pure amazement. “Are you out of your mind, Henry?” he asked calmly. “Perhaps you're drunk too, this morning. The Devil seems to have got into pretty much everybody.”
Bartley jumped as if he had been hit, and as he glared at Bird, the anger faded from his face, replaced by sheer astonishment. “Are you kidding me, Henry?” he asked coolly. “Maybe you’re drunk this morning too. It seems like the Devil has taken hold of everyone.”
“It's a lie!” repeated the boy, while the tears sprang to his eyes. “She's as good a girl as Marcia Gaylord is, any day!”
“It's a lie!” the boy said again, tears welling up in his eyes. “She’s just as good as Marcia Gaylord any day!”
“Better go away, Henry,” said Bartley, with a deadly sort of gentleness.
“Better leave, Henry,” said Bartley, with a dangerously gentle tone.
“I'm going away,” answered the boy, his face twisted with weeping. “I've done my last day's work for you.” He pulled down his shirt-sleeves, and buttoned them at the wrists, while the tears ran out over his face,—helpless tears, the sign of his womanish tenderness, his womanish weakness.
“I'm leaving,” the boy replied, his face contorted with tears. “I've finished my last day working for you.” He rolled down his shirt sleeves and buttoned them at the wrists, while tears streamed down his face—helpless tears, showing his sensitive nature, his vulnerability.
Bartley continued to glare at him. “Why, I do believe you're in love with her yourself, you little fool!”
Bartley kept glaring at him. “Honestly, I think you're in love with her too, you little fool!”
“Oh, I've been a fool!” cried Bird. “A fool to think as much of you as I always have,—a fool to believe that you were a gentleman, and wouldn't take a mean advantage. I was a fool to suppose you wanted to do her any good, when you came praising and flattering her, and turning her head!”
“Oh, I've been an idiot!” cried Bird. “An idiot to think so highly of you as I always have—to think you were a gentleman who wouldn’t take advantage of anyone. I was a fool to believe you actually wanted to help her when you were just flattering her and turning her head!”
“Well, then,” said Bartley with harsh insolence, “don't be a fool any longer. If you're in love with her, you haven't any quarrel with me, my boy. She flies at higher game than humble newspaper editors. The head of Willett's lumbering gang is your man; and so you may go and tell that old sot, her father. Why, Henry! You don't mean to say you care anything for that girl?”
“Well, then,” Bartley said with a sharp tone, “stop being an idiot. If you're in love with her, you've got no issue with me, my friend. She’s aiming for someone way above humble newspaper editors. The boss of Willett's lumber crew is the guy for her; so you can go tell that old drunk, her dad. Seriously, Henry! You can't be saying you actually like that girl?”
“And do you mean to say you haven't done everything you could to turn her head since she's been in this office? She used to like me well enough at school.” All men are blind and jealous children alike, when it comes to question of a woman between them, and this poor boy's passion was turning him into a tiger. “Don't come to me with your lies, any more!” Here his rage culminated, and with a blind cry of “Ay!” he struck the paper which he had kept in his hand into Bartley's face.
“And are you seriously saying you haven’t done everything you could to get her attention since she started working here? She used to like me just fine back in school.” All men are blind and jealous like children when it comes to a woman involved. This poor guy's feelings were making him act out like a wild animal. “Don’t come to me with your lies anymore!” At this point, his anger peaked, and with an angry shout of “Ay!” he slammed the paper he had been holding into Bartley’s face.
The demons, whatever they were, of anger, remorse, pride, shame, were at work in Bartley's heart too, and he returned the blow as instantly as if Bird's touch had set the mechanism of his arm in motion. In contempt of the other's weakness he struck with the flat of his hand; but the blow was enough. Bird fell headlong, and the concussion of his head upon the floor did the rest. He lay senseless.
The demons, whatever they were, of anger, regret, pride, and shame, were at work in Bartley's heart too, and he responded instantly as if Bird’s touch had triggered his arm. Out of contempt for the other’s weakness, he hit with the palm of his hand; but that was enough. Bird collapsed, and the impact of his head hitting the floor did the rest. He lay unconscious.
VII.
Bartley hung over the boy with such a terror in his soul as he had never had before. He believed that he had killed him, and in this conviction came with the simultaneity of events in dreams the sense of all his blame, of which the blow given for a blow seemed the least part. He was not so wrong in that as he was wrong in what led to it. He did not abhor in himself so much the wretch who had struck his brother down as the light and empty fool who had trifled with that silly hoyden. The follies that seemed so amusing and resultless in their time had ripened to this bitter effect, and he knew that he, and not she, was mainly culpable. Her self-betrayal, however it came about, was proof that they were more serious with her than with him, and he could not plead to himself even the poor excuse that his fancy had been caught. Amidst the anguish of his self-condemnation the need to conceal what he had done occurred to him. He had been holding Bird's head in his arms, and imploring him, “Henry! Henry! wake up!” in a low, husky voice; but now he turned to the door and locked it, and the lie by which he should escape sprang to his tongue. “He died in a fit.” He almost believed it as it murmured itself from his lips. There was no mark, no bruise, nothing to show that he had touched the boy. Suddenly he felt the lie choke him. He pulled down the window to let in the fresh air, and this pure breath of heaven blew into his darkened spirit and lifted there a little the vapors which were thickening in it. The horror of having to tell that lie, even if he should escape by it, all his life long, till he was a gray old man, and to keep the truth forever from his lips, presented itself to him as intolerable slavery. “Oh, my God!” he spoke aloud, “how can I bear that?” And it was in self-pity that he revolted from it. Few men love the truth for its own sake, and Bartley was not one of these; but he practised it because his experience had been that lies were difficult to manage, and that they were a burden on the mind. He was not candid; he did not shun concealments and evasions; but positive lies he had kept from, and now he could not trust one to save his life. He unlocked the door and ran out to find help; he must do that at last; he must do it at any risk; no matter what he said afterward. When our deeds and motives come to be balanced at the last day, let us hope that mercy, and not justice, may prevail.
Bartley hovered over the boy with a terror in his soul that he had never felt before. He believed he had killed him, and with that belief came the overwhelming sense of all his guilt, of which the strike for a strike felt like the least part. He was more wrong about what led to it than about that. He didn’t hate the wretch who had harmed his brother as much as he despised the foolish light-headed person who had played around with that silly girl. The silly things that seemed harmless at the time had led to this bitter outcome, and he knew that he, not she, was mainly to blame. Her self-betrayal, no matter how it happened, showed that they were more serious with her than with him, and he couldn’t even convince himself that he had just been caught up in infatuation. In the midst of the pain of his self-condemnation, the need to hide what he had done struck him. He had been holding Bird’s head in his arms, begging him, “Henry! Henry! wake up!” in a low, raspy voice; but now he turned to the door and locked it, and the lie he would use to get away sprang to his tongue. “He died in a fit.” He almost believed it as it slipped from his lips. There was no mark, no bruise, nothing to show that he had touched the boy. Suddenly, he felt the lie choking him. He pulled down the window to let in some fresh air, and this clean breath of heaven blew into his darkened spirit, lifting some of the thickening fog within. The thought of having to tell that lie, even if it meant he would escape it, for the rest of his life until he was a gray old man, and keeping the truth forever from his lips felt like unbearable slavery. “Oh, my God!” he exclaimed aloud, “how can I bear that?” It was out of self-pity that he rejected it. Few men love the truth for its own sake, and Bartley wasn’t one of them; but he practiced it because his experience taught him that lies were hard to manage and became a burden on the mind. He wasn’t open; he didn’t avoid concealment and evasions; but he had stayed away from outright lies, and now he couldn’t trust one to save his life. He unlocked the door and ran out to find help; he had to do that finally; he had to do it at any cost; no matter what he said afterward. When our actions and intentions are weighed on the last day, let’s hope that mercy, not justice, prevails.
It must have been mercy that sent the doctor at that moment to the apothecary's, on the other side of the street, and enabled Bartley to get him up into his office, without publicity or explanation other than that Henry Bird seemed to be in a fit. The doctor lifted the boy's head, and explored his bosom with his hand.
It had to be good fortune that brought the doctor at that moment to the pharmacy across the street, allowing Bartley to get him into his office without causing a scene or needing to explain more than that Henry Bird appeared to be having a seizure. The doctor lifted the boy's head and felt his chest with his hand.
“Is he—is he dead?” gasped Bartley, and the words came so mechanically from his tongue that he began to believe he had not spoken them, when the doctor answered.
“Is he—is he dead?” gasped Bartley, and the words came out so automatically that he started to think he hadn’t actually said them when the doctor responded.
“No! How did this happen? Tell me exactly.”
“No! How did this happen? Tell me exactly.”
“We had a quarrel. He struck me. I knocked him down.” Bartley delivered up the truth, as a prisoner of war—or a captive brigand, perhaps—parts with his weapons one by one.
“We had a fight. He hit me. I took him down.” Bartley shared the truth, like a prisoner of war—or maybe a captured bandit—surrendering his weapons one at a time.
“Very well,” said the doctor. “Get some water.”
“Okay,” said the doctor. “Get some water.”
Bartley poured some out of the pitcher on his table, and the doctor, wetting his handkerchief, drew it again and again over Bird's forehead.
Bartley poured some from the pitcher on his table, and the doctor, wetting his handkerchief, wiped Bird's forehead repeatedly.
“I never meant to hurt him,” said Bartley. “I didn't even intend to strike him when he hit me.”
“I never meant to hurt him,” Bartley said. “I didn’t even plan to hit him when he hit me.”
“Intentions have very little to do with physical effects,” replied the doctor sharply. “Henry!”
“Intentions have almost nothing to do with physical outcomes,” the doctor replied sharply. “Henry!”
The boy opened his eyes, and, muttering feebly, “My head!” closed them again.
The boy opened his eyes and weakly muttered, “My head!” before shutting them again.
“There's a concussion here,” said the doctor. “We had better get him home. Drive my sleigh over, will you, from Smith's.”
“There's a concussion here,” said the doctor. “We should get him home. Can you go grab my sleigh from Smith's?”
Bartley went out into the glare of the sun, which beat upon him like the eye of the world. But the street was really empty, as it often was in the middle of the forenoon at Equity. The apothecary, who saw him untying the doctor's horse, came to his door, and said jocosely, “Hello, Doc! who's sick?”
Bartley stepped out into the bright sunlight, which shone down on him like the world was watching. But the street was pretty much deserted, as it usually was in the middle of the morning at Equity. The pharmacist, who noticed him untying the doctor’s horse, came to his door and joked, “Hey there, Doc! Who’s sick?”
“I am,” said Bartley, solemnly, and the apothecary laughed at his readiness. Bartley drove round to the back of the printing-office, where the farmers delivered his wood. “I thought we could get him out better that way,” he explained, and the doctor, who had to befriend a great many concealments in his practice, silently spared Bartley's disingenuousness.
“I am,” Bartley said seriously, and the apothecary laughed at how quick he was. Bartley drove around to the back of the printing office, where the farmers brought him his wood. “I figured we could get him out more easily that way,” he explained, and the doctor, who had to overlook a lot of hidden truths in his work, silently accepted Bartley's dishonesty.
The rush of the cold air, as they drove rapidly down the street, with that limp shape between them, revived the boy, and he opened his eyes, and made an effort to hold himself erect, but he could not; and when they got him into the warm room at home, he fainted again. His mother had met them at the door of her poor little house, without any demonstration of grief or terror; she was far too well acquainted in her widowhood—bereft of all her children but this son—with sickness and death, to show even surprise, if she felt it. When Bartley broke out into his lamentable confession, “Oh, Mrs. Bird! this is my work!” she only wrung her hands and answered, “Your work! Oh, Mr. Hubbard, he thought the world of you!” and did not ask him how or why he had done it. After they had got Henry on the bed, Bartley was no longer of use there; but they let him remain in the corner into which he had shrunk, and from which he watched all that went on, with a dry mouth and faltering breath. It began to appear to him that he was very young to be involved in a misfortune like this; he did not understand why it should have happened to him; but he promised himself that, if Henry lived, he would try to be a better man in every way.
The rush of cold air as they sped down the street with that lifeless figure between them brought the boy back to consciousness. He opened his eyes and tried to sit up, but he couldn't. Once they got him into the warm room at home, he fainted again. His mother met them at the door of their small house without any signs of grief or fear; she was too familiar with sickness and death in her widowhood—having lost all her children except for this son—to even show surprise, if she felt any. When Bartley burst into his sorrowful confession, “Oh, Mrs. Bird! this is my work!” she simply wrung her hands and replied, “Your work! Oh, Mr. Hubbard, he thought the world of you!” and didn’t ask him how or why he had done it. After they laid Henry on the bed, Bartley was no longer needed in that moment, but they allowed him to stay in the corner where he had retreated, watching everything with a dry mouth and shaky breath. It started to dawn on him that he was really young to be caught up in a disaster like this; he didn’t understand why it was happening to him, but he promised himself that if Henry survived, he would try to become a better man in every way.
After he had lost all hope, the time seemed so long, the boy on the bed opened his eyes once more, and looked round, while Bartley still sat with his face in his hands. “Where—where is Mr. Hubbard?” he faintly asked, with a bewildered look at his mother and the doctor.
After he had lost all hope, time felt like it was dragging on. The boy on the bed opened his eyes again and looked around, while Bartley continued to sit with his face in his hands. “Where—where is Mr. Hubbard?” he asked faintly, looking confused at his mother and the doctor.
Bartley heard the weak voice, and staggered forward, and fell on his knees beside the bed. “Here, here! Here I am, Henry! Oh, Henry, I didn't intend—” He stopped at the word, and hid his face in the coverlet.
Bartley heard the faint voice and staggered forward, falling to his knees beside the bed. “Here, here! Here I am, Henry! Oh, Henry, I didn't mean—” He stopped mid-sentence and buried his face in the blanket.
The boy lay as if trying to make out what had happened, and the doctor told him that he had fainted. After a time, he put out his hand and laid it on Bartley's head. “Yes; but I don't understand what makes him cry.”
The boy lay there, trying to figure out what had just happened, and the doctor told him that he had fainted. After a while, he reached out and placed his hand on Bartley's head. “Yeah; but I don't understand why he’s crying.”
They looked at Bartley, who had lifted his head, and he went over the whole affair, except so far as it related to Hannah Morrison; he did not spare himself; he had often found that strenuous self-condemnation moved others to compassion; and besides, it was his nature to seek the relief of full confession. But Henry heard him through with a blank countenance. “Don't you remember?” Bartley implored at last.
They looked at Bartley, who had raised his head, and he went over the whole situation, except for anything related to Hannah Morrison; he didn’t hold back. He had often discovered that intense self-blame made others feel sorry for him; plus, it was in his nature to want to relieve himself by confessing everything. But Henry listened to him with a blank expression. “Don’t you remember?” Bartley pleaded finally.
“No, I don't remember. I only remember that there seemed to be something the matter with my head this morning.”
“No, I don't remember. I only remember that something felt off with my head this morning.”
“That was the trouble with me, too,” said Bartley. “I must have been crazy—I must have been insane—when I struck you. I can't account for it.”
“That was my problem too,” said Bartley. “I must have been out of my mind—I must have been crazy—when I hit you. I can't explain it.”
“I don't remember it,” answered the boy.
“I don’t remember it,” the boy replied.
“That's all right,” said the doctor. “Don't try. I guess you better let him alone, now,” he added to Bartley, with such a significant look that the young man retired from the bedside, and stood awkwardly apart. “He'll get along. You needn't be anxious about leaving him. He'll be better alone.”
“That's fine,” said the doctor. “Don’t push it. I think you should leave him alone for now,” he added to Bartley, giving him such a meaningful look that the young man stepped back from the bedside and stood uncomfortably to the side. “He'll manage. You don't have to worry about leaving him. He’ll be better off alone.”
There was no mistaking this hint. “Well, well!” said Bartley, humbly, “I'll go. But I'd rather stay and watch with him,—I sha'n't eat or sleep till he's on foot again. And I can't leave till you tell me that you forgive me, Mrs. Bird. I never dreamed—I didn't intend—” He could not go on.
There was no mistaking this hint. “Well, well!” said Bartley, humbly, “I'll go. But I'd rather stay and watch with him—I won’t eat or sleep until he's up and about again. And I can't leave until you tell me that you forgive me, Mrs. Bird. I never dreamed—I didn't mean to—” He couldn't continue.
“I don't suppose you meant to hurt Henry,” said the mother. “You always pretended to be so fond of him, and he thought the world of you. But I don't see how you could do it. I presume it was all right.”
“I don't think you meant to hurt Henry,” said the mother. “You always acted like you really liked him, and he thought you were amazing. But I can’t understand how you could do it. I guess it was fine.”
“No, it was all wrong,—or so nearly all wrong that I must ask your forgiveness on that ground. I loved him,—I thought the world of him, too. I'd ten thousand times rather have hurt myself,” pleaded Bartley. “Don't let me go till you say that you forgive me.”
“No, it was all wrong—or almost completely wrong, so I have to ask for your forgiveness because of that. I loved him—I really thought a lot of him, too. I would have hurt myself a thousand times over instead,” Bartley pleaded. “Please don’t let me go until you say that you forgive me.”
“I'll see how Henry gets along,” said Mrs. Bird. “I don't know as I could rightly say I forgive you just yet.” Doubtless she was dealing conscientiously with herself and with him. “I like to be sure of a thing when I say it,” she added.
“I'll check in on how Henry is doing,” said Mrs. Bird. “I can't say that I forgive you just yet.” It was clear she was being honest with herself and with him. “I like to be certain about something when I say it,” she added.
The doctor followed him into the hall, and Bartley could not help turning to him for consolation. “I think Mrs. Bird is very unjust, Doctor. I've done everything I could, and said everything to explain the matter; and I've blamed myself where I can't feel that I was to blame; and yet you see how she holds out against me.”
The doctor followed him into the hallway, and Bartley couldn’t help but turn to him for comfort. “I think Mrs. Bird is being really unfair, Doctor. I’ve done everything I could and said all I can to explain the situation; I’ve blamed myself even when I don’t think I did anything wrong, and still, you can see how she’s refusing to budge.”
“I dare say,” answered the doctor dryly, “she'll feel differently, as she says, if the boy gets along.”
“I suppose,” the doctor replied dryly, “she'll feel differently, as she said, if the boy does okay.”
Bartley dropped his hat to the floor. “Get along! Why—why you think he'll get well now, don't you, Doctor?”
Bartley dropped his hat to the floor. “Come on! You really think he'll get better now, don't you, Doctor?”
“Oh, yes; I was merely using her words. He'll get well.”
“Oh, yes; I was just quoting her. He'll be fine.”
“And—and it wont affect his mind, will it? I thought it was very strange, his not remembering anything about it—”
“And—and it won't affect his mind, will it? I thought it was really strange that he doesn't remember anything about it—”
“That's a very common phenomenon,” said the doctor. “The patient usually forgets everything that occurred for some little time before the accident, in cases of concussion of the brain.” Bartley shuddered at the phrase, but he could not ask anything further. “What I wanted to say to you,” continued the doctor, “was that this may be a long thing, and there may have to be an inquiry into it. You're lawyer enough to understand what that means. I should have to testify to what I know, and I only know what you told me.”
“That's a pretty common thing,” said the doctor. “The patient usually forgets everything that happened for a little while before the accident in cases of a concussion.” Bartley shuddered at the term, but he couldn’t ask anything else. “What I wanted to tell you,” the doctor continued, “is that this might take a while, and there may need to be an investigation. You're smart enough to know what that means. I would have to testify to what I know, and all I know is what you told me.”
“Why, you don't doubt—”
“Why, you don’t doubt it—”
“No, sir; I've no reason to suppose you haven't told me the truth, as far as it goes. If you have thought it advisable to keep anything back from me, you may wish to tell the whole story to an attorney.”
“No, sir; I have no reason to believe that you haven't been honest with me, as far as you’ve gone. If you think it’s better to hold something back from me, you might want to share the full story with a lawyer.”
“I haven't kept anything back, Doctor Wills,” said Bartley. “I've told you everything—everything that concerned the quarrel. That drunken old scoundrel of a Morrison got us into it. He accused me of making love to his daughter; and Henry was jealous—I never knew he cared anything for her. I hated to tell you this before his mother. But this is the whole truth, so help me God.”
“I haven't held anything back, Doctor Wills,” said Bartley. “I've shared everything—everything related to the argument. That drunken old fool Morrison got us into this. He accused me of flirting with his daughter; and Henry was jealous—I never realized he had feelings for her. I didn't want to say this in front of his mother. But this is the complete truth, I swear.”
“I supposed it was something of the kind,” replied the doctor. “I'm sorry for you. You can't keep it from having an ugly look if it gets out; and it may have to be made public. I advise you to go and see Squire Gaylord; he's always stood your friend.”
“I figured it was something like that,” replied the doctor. “I feel for you. You can't prevent it from looking bad if it gets out; and it might have to be made public. I recommend you go talk to Squire Gaylord; he's always been on your side.”
“I—I was just going there,” said Bartley; and this was true.
“I—I was just going there,” Bartley said; and this was true.
Through all, he had felt the need of some sort of retrieval,—of re-establishing himself in his own esteem by some signal stroke; and he could think of but one thing. It was not his fault if he believed that this must combine self-sacrifice with safety, and the greatest degree of humiliation with the largest sum of consolation. He was none the less resolved not to spare himself at all in offering to release Marcia from her engagement. The fact that he must now also see her father upon the legal aspect of his case certainly complicated the affair, and detracted from its heroic quality. He could not tell which to see first, for he naturally wished his action to look as well as possible; and if he went first to Marcia, and she condemned him, he did not know in what figure he should approach her father. If, on the other hand, he went first to Squire Gaylord, the old lawyer might insist that the engagement was already at an end by Bartley's violent act, and might well refuse to let a man in his position even see his daughter. He lagged heavy-heartedly up the middle of the street, and left the question to solve itself at the last moment. But when he reached Squire Gaylord's gate, it seemed to him that it would be easier to face the father first; and this would be the right way too.
Through it all, he felt the need for some kind of redemption—something that would help him regain his self-respect with a significant gesture; and he could think of only one option. It wasn't his fault that he believed this had to involve self-sacrifice along with safety, and a high level of humiliation with just as much consolation. He was still determined to offer to free Marcia from her engagement without holding back. The fact that he also needed to meet her father about the legal side of his case definitely complicated things and took away from the heroic nature of the act. He couldn't decide who to see first, as he naturally wanted his actions to appear as good as possible. If he went to Marcia first and she condemned him, he had no idea how to face her father afterward. On the other hand, if he approached Squire Gaylord first, the old lawyer might argue that Bartley's rash actions had already ended the engagement and could very well refuse to let someone in his position even see his daughter. With a heavy heart, he walked down the middle of the street, leaving the decision to resolve itself at the last moment. But when he reached Squire Gaylord's gate, it seemed to him that it would be easier to confront the father first, and that this was also the right approach.
He turned aside to the little office, and opened the door without knocking, and as he stood with the knob in his hand, trying to habituate his eyes, full of the snow-glare, to the dimmer light within, he heard a rapturous cry of “Why Bartley!” and he felt Marcia's arms flung around his neck. His burdened heart yearned upon her with a tenderness he had not known before; he realized the preciousness of an embrace that might be the last; but he dared not put down his lips to hers. She pushed back her head in a little wonder, and saw the haggardness of his face, while he discovered her father looking at them. How strong and pure the fire in her must be when her father's presence could not abash her from this betrayal of her love! Bartley sickened, and he felt her arms slip from his neck. “Why—why—what is the matter?”
He turned to the small office and opened the door without knocking. As he stood there holding the doorknob, trying to adjust his eyes to the dimmer light inside after the bright snow, he heard an excited cry of "Bartley!" and felt Marcia's arms wrap around his neck. His heavy heart swelled with a tenderness he had never felt before; he realized how precious an embrace could be, possibly the last one. But he couldn’t bring himself to kiss her. She pulled back slightly in surprise and saw the worn look on his face, while he spotted her father watching them. It was amazing how strong and genuine her feelings must be if she could show her love like that in front of her father! Bartley felt a wave of sickness, and he sensed her arms slipping from his neck. “Why—why—what's wrong?”
In spite of some vaguely magnanimous intention to begin at the beginning, and tell the whole affair just as it happened, Bartley found himself wishing to put the best face on it at first, and trust to chances to make it all appear well. He did not speak at once, and Marcia pressed him into a chair, and then, like an eager child, who will not let its friend escape till it has been told what it wishes to know, she set herself on his knee, and put her hand on his shoulder. He looked at her father, not at her, while he spoke hoarsely: “I have had trouble with Henry Bird, Squire Gaylord, and I've come to tell you about it.”
In spite of some vaguely generous intention to start from the beginning and share the whole story as it happened, Bartley found himself wanting to make the situation look better at first and hoping luck would make things seem okay. He didn’t speak right away, and Marcia urged him into a chair. Then, like an eager child who won’t let their friend go until they get the answer they want, she settled on his lap and rested her hand on his shoulder. He looked at her father, not at her, as he spoke roughly: “I’ve had trouble with Henry Bird, Squire Gaylord, and I’ve come to tell you about it.”
The old squire did not speak, but Marcia repeated in amazement, “With Henry Bird?”
The old squire stayed silent, but Marcia exclaimed in disbelief, “With Henry Bird?”
“He struck me—”
“He hit me—”
“Henry Bird struck you!” cried the girl. “I should like to know why Henry Bird struck you, when you've made so much of him, and he's always pretended to be so grateful—”
“Henry Bird hit you!” the girl exclaimed. “I want to know why Henry Bird hit you, when you've praised him so much, and he always acted like he was so thankful—”
Bartley still looked at her father. “And I struck him back.”
Bartley continued to look at her father. “And I hit him back.”
“You did perfectly right, Bartley,” exclaimed Marcia, “and I should have despised you if you had let any one run over you. Struck you! I declare—”
“You did exactly the right thing, Bartley,” Marcia exclaimed, “and I would have lost all respect for you if you had let anyone walk all over you. Hit you! I swear—”
He did not heed her, but continued to look at her father. “I didn't intend to hurt him,—I hit him with my open hand,—but he fell and struck his head on the floor. I'm afraid it hurt him pretty badly.” He felt the pang that thrilled through the girl at his words, and her hand trembled on his shoulder; but she did not take it away.
He didn’t pay attention to her, but kept looking at her dad. “I didn’t mean to hurt him—I just hit him with my open hand—but he fell and hit his head on the floor. I’m worried it really hurt him.” He felt the rush of emotion that went through the girl at his words, and her hand shook on his shoulder; but she didn’t pull it away.
The old man came forward from the pile of books which he and Marcia had been dusting, and sat down in a chair on the other side of the stove. He pushed back his hat from his forehead, and asked drily, “What commenced it?”
The old man stepped away from the stack of books that he and Marcia had been dusting and sat down in a chair on the other side of the stove. He pushed back his hat from his forehead and asked dryly, “What started it?”
Bartley hesitated. It was this part of the affair which he would rather have imparted to Marcia after seeing it with her father's eyes, or possibly, if her father viewed it favorably, have had him tell her. The old man noticed his reluctance. “Hadn't you better go into the house, Marsh?”
Bartley paused. This was the part of the situation he would have preferred to share with Marcia after seeing it from her father's perspective, or maybe, if her father approved, to let him tell her instead. The old man picked up on his hesitation. “Don’t you think you should go inside, Marsh?”
She merely gave him a look of utter astonishment for answer, and did not move. He laughed noiselessly, and said to Bartley, “Go on.”
She just gave him a look of complete shock in response and didn’t move. He laughed silently and said to Bartley, “Go ahead.”
“It was that drunken old scoundrel of a Morrison who began it!” cried Bartley, in angry desperation. Marcia dropped her hand from his shoulder, while her father worked his jaws upon the bit of stick he had picked up from the pile of wood, and put between his teeth. “You know that whenever he gets on a spree he comes to the office and wants Hannah's wages raised.”
“It was that drunken old scoundrel Morrison who started it!” Bartley yelled in angry frustration. Marcia pulled her hand away from his shoulder, while her father chewed on a piece of stick he had picked up from the pile of wood and put between his teeth. “You know that whenever he goes on a bender, he comes to the office and demands that Hannah’s wages be raised.”
Marcia sprang to her feet. “Oh, I knew it! I knew it! I told you she would get you into trouble! I told you so!” She stood clinching her hands, and her father bent his keen scrutiny first upon her, and then upon the frowning face with which Bartley regarded her.
Marcia jumped to her feet. “Oh, I knew it! I knew it! I told you she’d get you into trouble! I told you so!” She stood with her hands clenched, and her father turned his sharp gaze first on her, and then on the scowling face Bartley directed at her.
“Did he come to have her wages raised to-day?”
“Did he come to have her pay raised today?”
“No.”
“Nope.”
“What did he come for?” He involuntarily assumed the attitude of a lawyer crossquestioning a slippery witness.
“What did he come for?” He unconsciously took on the stance of a lawyer grilling a tricky witness.
“He came for—He came—He accused me of—He said I had—made love to his confounded girl.”
“He came for—He came—He accused me of—He said I had—hooked up with his damn girlfriend.”
Marcia gasped.
Marcia was shocked.
“What made him think you had?”
“What made him think you did?”
“It wasn't necessary for him to have any reason. He was drunk. I had been kind to the girl, and favored her all I could, because she seemed to be anxious to do her work well; and I praised her for trying.”
“It wasn’t necessary for him to have any reason. He was drunk. I had been kind to the girl and supported her as much as I could because she seemed eager to do her work well, and I praised her for her efforts.”
“Um-umph,” commented the Squire. “And that made Henry Bird jealous?”
“Um-umph,” said the Squire. “So that made Henry Bird jealous?”
“It seems that he was fond of her. I never dreamed of such a thing, and when I put old Morrison out of the office, and came back, he called me a liar, and struck me in the face.” He did not lift his eyes to the level of Marcia's, who in her gray dress stood there like a gray shadow, and did not stir or speak.
“It seems like he really liked her. I never imagined such a thing, and when I kicked old Morrison out of the office and came back, he called me a liar and punched me in the face.” He didn't look up at Marcia, who stood there in her gray dress like a gray shadow, not moving or speaking.
“And you never had made up to the girl at all?”
“And you never made up with the girl at all?”
“No.”
“Nope.”
“Kissed her, I suppose, now and then?” suggested the Squire.
“Kissed her, I guess, every now and then?” suggested the Squire.
Bartley did not reply.
Bartley didn't respond.
“Flattered her up, and told how much you thought of her, occasionally?”
“Did you compliment her and mention how much you admired her from time to time?”
“I don't see what that has to do with it,” said Bartley with a sulky defiance.
“I don't see how that's relevant,” Bartley said with a sulky defiance.
“No, I suppose it's what you'd do with most any pretty girl,” returned the Squire. He was silent awhile. “And so you knocked Henry down. What happened then?”
“No, I guess it's what you'd do with pretty much any girl,” replied the Squire. He was silent for a moment. “So you knocked Henry down. What happened next?”
“I tried to bring him to, and then I went for the doctor. He revived, and we got him home to his mother's. The doctor says he will get well; but he advised me to come and see you.”
“I tried to wake him up, and then I went to get the doctor. He came to, and we got him home to his mom's. The doctor says he'll recover; but he suggested I come and see you.”
“Any witnesses of the assault?”
“Any witnesses to the assault?”
“No; we were alone in my own room.”
“No, we were alone in my room.”
“Told any one else about it?”
“Have you told anyone else?”
“I told the doctor and Mrs. Bird. Henry couldn't remember it at all.”
“I told the doctor and Mrs. Bird. Henry couldn't remember it at all.”
“Couldn't remember about Morrison, or what made him mad at you?”
“Can’t remember anything about Morrison, or what upset him?”
“Nothing.”
"Nothing."
“And that's all about it?”
“Is that everything?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
The two men had talked across the stove at each other, practically ignoring the girl, who stood apart from them, gray in the face as her dress, and suppressing a passion which had turned her as rigid as stone.
The two men had talked over the stove to each other, almost ignoring the girl, who stood apart from them, gray in the face like her dress, and holding back a feeling that had made her as stiff as stone.
“Now, Marcia,” said her father, kindly, “better go into the house. That's all there is of it.”
“Now, Marcia,” her father said gently, “you should go into the house. That’s all there is to it.”
“No, that isn't all,” she answered. “Give me my ring, Bartley. Here's yours.” She slipped it off her finger, and put it into his mechanically extended hand.
“No, that’s not everything,” she replied. “Give me my ring, Bartley. Here’s yours.” She took it off her finger and placed it into his outstretched hand.
“Marcia!” he implored, confronting her.
“Marcia!” he pleaded, facing her.
“Give me my ring, please.”
"Please give me my ring."
He obeyed, and put it into her hand. She slipped it back on the finger from which she had so fondly suffered him to take it yesterday, and replace it with his own.
He did what she asked and placed it in her hand. She slid it back onto the finger from which she had so affectionately allowed him to take it yesterday, and put his ring in its place.
“I'll go into the house now, father. Good by, Bartley.” Her eyes were perfectly clear and dry, and her voice controlled; and as he stood passive before her, she took him round the neck, and pressed against his face, once, and twice, and thrice, her own gray face, in which all love, and unrelenting, and despair, were painted. Once and again she held him, and looked him in the eyes, as if to be sure it was he. Then, with a last pressure of her face to his, she released him, and passed out of the door.
“I’m going into the house now, Dad. Bye, Bartley.” Her eyes were perfectly clear and dry, and her voice steady; and as he stood quietly in front of her, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her gray face against his, once, twice, and then a third time, where all love, determination, and despair were visible. Again and again, she held him and looked him in the eyes, as if to make sure it was really him. Then, with one last press of her face against his, she let him go and walked out the door.
“She's been talking about you, here, all the morning,” said the Squire, with a sort of quiet absence, as if nothing in particular had happened, and he were commenting on a little fact that might possibly interest Bartley. He ruminated upon the fragment of wood in his mouth awhile before he added: “I guess she won't want to talk about you any more. I drew you out a little on that Hannah Morrison business, because I wanted her to understand just what kind of fellow you were. You see it isn't the trouble you've got into with Henry Bird that's killed her; it's the cause of the trouble. I guess if it had been anything else, she'd have stood by you. But you see that's the one thing she couldn't bear, and I'm glad it's happened now instead of afterwards: I guess you're one of that kind, Mr. Hubbard.”
“She’s been talking about you all morning,” said the Squire, with a sort of detached tone, as if nothing significant had occurred, and he was just mentioning a little detail that might catch Bartley's interest. He thought about the piece of wood in his mouth for a moment before adding, “I don’t think she’ll want to discuss you anymore. I tried to bring up that Hannah Morrison situation a bit because I wanted her to see what kind of guy you really are. You see, it’s not the trouble you’ve gotten into with Henry Bird that upset her; it’s the reason behind it. I think if it had been anything else, she would have supported you. But that’s the one thing she couldn’t handle, and I’m glad it happened now instead of later: I guess you’re one of that kind, Mr. Hubbard.”
“Squire Gaylord!” cried Bartley, “upon my sacred word of honor, there isn't any more of this thing than I've told you. And I think it's pretty hard to be thrown over for—for—”
“Squire Gaylord!” Bartley exclaimed, “I swear on my honor, there’s nothing more to this than what I’ve told you. And I think it’s really unfair to be rejected for—for—”
“Fooling with a pretty girl, when you get a chance, and the girl seems to like it? Yes, it is rather hard. And I suppose you haven't even seen her since you were engaged to Marcia?”
“Playing around with a pretty girl when you have the chance, and she seems into it? Yeah, it is pretty tough. And I guess you haven't even seen her since you got engaged to Marcia?”
“Of course not! That is—”
“Definitely not! That is—”
“It's a kind of retroactive legislation on Marcia's part,” said the Squire, rubbing his chin, “and that's against one of the first principles of law. But women don't seem to be able to grasp that idea. They're queer about some things. They appear to think they marry a man's whole life,—his past as well as his future,—and that makes 'em particular. And they distinguish between different kinds of men. You'll find 'em pinning their faith to a fellow who's been through pretty much everything, and swearing by him from the word go; and another chap, who's never done anything very bad, they won't trust half a minute out of their sight. Well, I guess Marcia is of rather a jealous disposition,” he concluded, as if Bartley had urged this point.
“It's like Marcia is trying to change the rules retroactively,” said the Squire, rubbing his chin. “That goes against one of the main principles of law. But women just don’t seem to get that. They’re strange about some things. They seem to believe they marry a man’s entire life—his past as well as his future—and that makes them particular. They differentiate between different types of men. You’ll see them putting their faith in a guy who’s been through just about everything, swearing by him from the start; while another guy, who hasn’t done anything really bad, they won’t trust for even a second out of their sight. Well, I suppose Marcia is a bit jealous,” he concluded, as if Bartley had suggested this point.
“She's very unjust to me,” Bartley began.
"She’s being really unfair to me," Bartley started.
“Oh, yes,—she's unjust,” said her father. “I don't deny that. But it wouldn't be any use talking to her. She'd probably turn round with some excuse about what she had suffered, and that would be the end of it. She would say that she couldn't go through it again. Well, it ought to be a comfort to you to think you don't care a great deal about it.”
“Oh, yes,—she's unjust,” said her father. “I won't deny that. But talking to her wouldn’t help. She’d probably just come up with some excuse about what she’s been through, and that would be that. She’d say she couldn’t go through it again. Well, it should be a comfort to you to realize you don’t care that much about it.”
“But I do care!” exclaimed Bartley. “I care all the world for it. I—”
“But I do care!” Bartley shouted. “I care about it more than anything. I—”
“Since when?” interrupted the Squire. “Do you mean to say that you didn't know till you asked her yesterday that Marcia was in love with you?”
“Since when?” interrupted the Squire. “Are you saying that you didn’t know until you asked her yesterday that Marcia was in love with you?”
Bartley was silent.
Bartley was quiet.
“I guess you knew it as much as a year ago, didn't you? Everybody else did. But you'd just as soon it had been Hannah Morrison, or any other pretty girl. You didn't care! But Marcia did, you see. She wasn't one of the kind that let any good-looking fellow make love to them. It was because it was you; and you knew it. We're plain men, Mr. Hubbard; and I guess you'll get over this, in time. I shouldn't wonder if you began to mend, right away.”
“I guess you knew as much as a year ago, didn't you? Everyone else did. But you'd have preferred it was Hannah Morrison or any other pretty girl. You didn’t care! But Marcia did, you see. She wasn't the type to let any good-looking guy make advances at her. It was because it was you; and you knew it. We're ordinary guys, Mr. Hubbard; and I think you'll get through this, in time. I wouldn't be surprised if you started to feel better right away.”
Bartley found himself helpless in the face of this passionless sarcasm. He could have met stormy indignation or any sort of invective in kind; but the contemptuous irony with which his pretensions were treated, the cold scrutiny with which his motives were searched, was something he could not meet. He tried to pull himself together for some sort of protest, but he ended by hanging his head in silence. He always believed that Squire Gaylord had liked him, and here he was treating him like his bitterest enemy, and seeming to enjoy his misery. He could not understand it; he thought it extremely unjust, and past all the measure of his offence. This was true, perhaps: but it is doubtful if Bartley would have accepted any suffering, no matter how nicely proportioned, in punishment of his wrong-doing. He sat hanging his head, and taking his pain in rebellious silence, with a gathering hate in his heart for the old man.
Bartley felt completely powerless against this emotionless sarcasm. He could have responded to angry outrage or any kind of insults in return, but the scornful irony directed at his pretensions and the cold examination of his motives were things he couldn't counter. He tried to compose himself for some kind of protest, but ultimately ended up bowing his head in silence. He had always thought that Squire Gaylord liked him, yet here he was treating Bartley like his worst enemy and seeming to revel in his misery. He couldn't figure it out; he thought it was incredibly unfair and far beyond what he deserved. This might have been true, but it's doubtful Bartley would have accepted any suffering, no matter how reasonable, as punishment for his mistakes. He sat there with his head down, enduring his pain in angry silence, feeling a growing hatred for the old man.
“M-well!” said the Squire, at last, rising from his chair, “I guess I must be going.”
“M-well!” said the Squire, finally getting up from his chair, “I guess I should be going.”
Bartley sprang to his feet aghast. “You're not going to leave me in the lurch, are you? You're not—”
Bartley jumped to his feet in shock. “You're not going to leave me hanging, are you? You're not—”
“Oh, I shall take care of you, young man,—don't be afraid. I've stood your friend too long, and your name's been mixed up too much with my girl's, for me to let you come to shame openly, if I can help it. I'm going to see Dr. Wills about you, and I'm going to see Mrs. Bird, and try to patch it up somehow.”
“Oh, I’ll take care of you, young man—don’t worry. I’ve been your friend for too long, and your name has been too closely tied to my girl’s for me to let you suffer publicly if I can help it. I’m going to talk to Dr. Wills about you, and I’m going to see Mrs. Bird, and try to sort this out somehow.”
“And—and—where shall I go?” gasped Bartley.
“And—where should I go?” gasped Bartley.
“You might go to the Devil, for all I cared for you,” said the old man, with the contempt which he no longer cared to make ironical. “But I guess you better go back to your office, and go to work as if nothing had happened—till something does happen. I shall close the paper out as soon as I can. I was thinking of doing that just before you came in. I was thinking of taking you into the law business with me. Marcia and I were talking about it here. But I guess you wouldn't like the idea now.”
“You could go to hell for all I care,” the old man said, with the contempt that he no longer bothered to hide. “But I think you should head back to your office and pretend like nothing’s wrong—until something actually goes wrong. I’ll wrap up the paper as soon as I can. I was actually thinking about that just before you came in. I was considering bringing you into the law business with me. Marcia and I discussed it here. But I guess you’re not interested in that idea anymore.”
He seemed to get a bitter satisfaction out of these mockeries, from which, indeed, he must have suffered quite as much as Bartley. But he ended, sadly and almost compassionately, with, “Come, come! You must start some time.” And Bartley dragged his leaden weight out of the door. The Squire closed it after him; but he did not accompany him down the street. It was plain that he did not wish to be any longer alone with Bartley, and the young man suspected, with a sting of shame, that he scorned to be seen with him.
He seemed to get a harsh pleasure out of these taunts, from which, in fact, he must have suffered just as much as Bartley. But he ended sadly and almost compassionately with, “Come on! You have to start sometime.” And Bartley dragged his heavy self out the door. The Squire closed it after him, but he didn’t walk with him down the street. It was clear that he didn’t want to be alone with Bartley any longer, and the young man suspected, with a pang of shame, that he looked down on being seen with him.
VIII.
The more Bartley dwelt upon his hard case, during the week that followed, the more it appeared to him that he was punished out of all proportion to his offence. He was in no mood to consider such mercies as that he had been spared from seriously hurting Bird; and that Squire Gaylord and Doctor Wills had united with Henry's mother in saving him from open disgrace. The physician, indeed, had perhaps indulged a professional passion for hushing the matter up, rather than any pity for Bartley. He probably had the scientific way of looking at such questions; and saw much physical cause for moral effects. He refrained, with the physician's reticence, from inquiring into the affair; but he would not have thought Bartley without excuse under the circumstances. In regard to the relative culpability in matters of the kind, his knowledge of women enabled him to take much the view of the woman's share that other women take.
The more Bartley thought about his tough situation during the week that followed, the more it seemed to him that the punishment he received was way too harsh for what he’d done. He wasn’t in a frame of mind to consider the kind of mercy that he had been spared from seriously hurting Bird, or that Squire Gaylord and Doctor Wills had teamed up with Henry's mother to protect him from public shame. In fact, the doctor might have been more interested in keeping things quiet for professional reasons than out of any sympathy for Bartley. He probably had a scientific perspective on such matters and saw a lot of physical reasons for moral outcomes. He held back, like doctors do, from probing into what happened, but he wouldn’t have thought Bartley was without excuse given the circumstances. When it came to determining the relative guilt in situations like this, his understanding of women led him to see a woman's role in a way that many other women would agree with.
But Bartley was ignorant of the doctor's leniency, and associated him with Squire Gaylord in the feeling that made his last week in Equity a period of social outlawry. There were moments in which he could not himself escape the same point of view. He could rebel against the severity of the condemnation he had fallen under in the eyes of Marcia and her father; he could, in the light of example and usage, laugh at the notion of harm in his behavior to Hannah Morrison; yet he found himself looking at it as a treachery to Marcia. Certainly, she had no right to question his conduct before his engagement. Yet, if he knew that Marcia loved him, and was waiting with life-and-death anxiety for some word of love from him, it was cruelly false to play with another at the passion which was such a tragedy to her. This was the point that, put aside however often, still presented itself, and its recurrence, if he could have known it, was mercy and reprieve from the only source out of which these could come.
But Bartley was unaware of the doctor's leniency, and he associated him with Squire Gaylord in the sentiment that turned his last week in Equity into a time of social outcast. There were moments when he couldn't escape this viewpoint himself. He could push back against the harsh judgment he faced in the eyes of Marcia and her father; he could, based on examples and norms, scoff at the idea that his behavior towards Hannah Morrison was harmful; yet he found himself viewing it as a betrayal to Marcia. Certainly, she had no right to question his actions before their engagement. However, if he knew that Marcia loved him and was anxiously waiting for a word of love from him, it was cruelly deceptive to toy with another person's feelings when it was such a tragedy for her. This was the issue that, no matter how often he pushed it aside, kept coming back, and its repetition, if he had known, was mercy and a reprieve from the only source that could offer them.
Hannah Morrison did not return to the printing-office, and Bird was still sick, though it was now only a question of time when he should be out again. Bartley visited him some hours every day, and sat and suffered under the quiet condemnation of his mother's eyes. She had kept Bartley's secret with the same hardness with which she had refused him her forgiveness, and the village had settled down into an ostensible acceptance of the theory of a faint as the beginning of Bird's sickness, with such other conjectures as the doctor freely permitted each to form. Bartley found his chief consolation in the work which kept him out of the way of a great deal of question. He worked far into the night, as he must, to make up for the force that was withdrawn from the office. At the same time he wrote more than ever in the paper, and he discovered in himself that dual life of which every one who sins or sorrows is sooner or later aware: that strange separation of the intellectual activity from the suffering of the soul, by which the mind toils on in a sort of ironical indifference to the pangs that wring the heart; the realization that, in some ways, his brain can get on perfectly well without his conscience.
Hannah Morrison didn't go back to the printing office, and Bird was still sick, though it was just a matter of time before he would be back on his feet. Bartley visited him for several hours each day, sitting there and feeling the quiet disapproval in his mother's eyes. She had kept Bartley's secret with the same stubbornness she had shown in refusing to forgive him, and the village had settled into a public acceptance of the idea that a fainting spell was the start of Bird's illness, along with other guesses that the doctor allowed them to make. Bartley found his main comfort in the work that kept him away from a lot of questions. He worked late into the night, as he needed to, to make up for the absence of help at the office. At the same time, he wrote more than ever for the paper, and he realized he had developed that dual life that anyone who sins or suffers inevitably comes to recognize: that odd separation between intellectual activity and soul suffering, where the mind continues to labor in a sort of ironic indifference to the heartache; the understanding that, in some ways, his mind could function perfectly well without his conscience.
There was a great deal of sympathy felt for Bartley at this time, and his popularity in Equity was never greater than now when his life there was drawing to a close. The spectacle of his diligence was so impressive that when, on the following Sunday, the young minister who had succeeded to the pulpit of the orthodox church preached a sermon on the beauty of industry from the text “Consider the lilies,” there were many who said that they thought of Bartley the whole while, and one—a lady—asked Mr. Savin if he did not have Mr. Hubbard in mind in the picture he drew of the Heroic Worker. They wished that Bartley could have heard that sermon.
A lot of people felt sympathy for Bartley during this time, and his popularity in Equity was at its peak, especially as his life there was coming to an end. The sight of his hard work was so impressive that when, the following Sunday, the young minister who took over the pulpit of the orthodox church delivered a sermon on the beauty of hard work using the text “Consider the lilies,” many people said they thought of Bartley the entire time. One lady even asked Mr. Savin if he had Mr. Hubbard in mind when he described the Heroic Worker. They all wished Bartley could have heard that sermon.
Marcia had gone away early in the week to visit in the town where she used to go to school, and Bartley took her going away as a sign that she wished to put herself wholly beyond his reach, or any danger of relenting at sight of him. He talked with no one about her; and going and coming irregularly to his meals, and keeping himself shut up in his room when he was not at work, he left people very little chance to talk with him. But they conjectured that he and Marcia had an understanding; and some of the ladies used such scant opportunity as he gave them to make sly allusions to her absence and his desolate condition. They were confirmed in their surmise by the fact, known from actual observation, that Bartley had not spoken a word to any other young lady since Marcia went away.
Marcia had left early in the week to visit the town where she used to go to school, and Bartley took her departure as a sign that she wanted to distance herself completely from him, or avoid any chance of forgiving him when she saw him again. He didn’t talk to anyone about her; he irregularly showed up for meals and stayed shut away in his room when he wasn't working, giving people very little opportunity to engage with him. But they guessed that he and Marcia had some kind of understanding, and some of the ladies took the rare chance he gave them to make subtle comments about her absence and his lonely situation. They felt validated in their theory by the fact, observed firsthand, that Bartley hadn’t spoken a word to any other young woman since Marcia left.
“Look here, my friend,” said the philosopher from, the logging-camp, when he came in for his paper on the Tuesday afternoon following, “seems to me from what I hear tell around here, you're tryin' to kill yourself on this newspaper. Now, it won't do; I tell you it won't do.”
“Listen up, my friend,” said the philosopher from the logging camp when he came in for his paper on the Tuesday afternoon that followed, “it seems to me from what I hear around here, you're trying to kill yourself with this newspaper. Now, that’s not going to work; I’m telling you it’s not going to work.”
Bartley was addressing for the mail the papers which one of the girls was folding. “What are you going to do about it?” he demanded of his sympathizer with whimsical sullenness, not troubling himself to look up at him.
Bartley was getting the papers ready for mailing while one of the girls was folding them. “What are you going to do about it?” he asked his sympathetic friend with a playful grumpiness, not bothering to look up at him.
“Well, I haint exactly settled yet,” replied the philosopher, who was of a tall, lank figure, and of a mighty brown beard. “But I've been around pretty much everywhere, and I find that about the poorest use you can put a man to is to kill him.”
“Well, I haven't really settled down yet,” replied the philosopher, who had a tall, lean frame and a big brown beard. “But I've traveled just about everywhere, and I think the worst thing you can do with a man is to kill him.”
“It depends a good deal on the man,” said Bartley. “But that's stale, Kinney. It's the old formula of the anti-capital-punishment fellows. Try something else. They're not talking of hanging me yet.” He kept on writing, and the philosopher stood over him with a humorous twinkle of enjoyment at Bartley's readiness.
“It really depends a lot on the person,” said Bartley. “But that’s old news, Kinney. It’s the same tired argument from the anti-capital-punishment crowd. Come up with something new. They’re not even considering hanging me yet.” He continued writing, while the philosopher watched him with a playful glimmer of amusement at Bartley’s quick wit.
“Well, I'll allow it's old,” he admitted. “So's Homer.”
“Well, I’ll admit it’s old,” he said. “So is Homer.”
“Yes; but you don't pretend that you wrote Homer.”
“Yes; but you don't claim that you wrote Homer.”
Kinney laughed mightily; then he leaned forward, and slapped Bartley on the shoulder with his newspaper. “Look here!” he exclaimed, “I like you!”
Kinney laughed heartily; then he leaned forward and hit Bartley on the shoulder with his newspaper. “Hey!” he said, “I like you!”
“Oh, try some other tack! Lots of fellows like me.” Bartley kept on writing. “I gave you your paper, didn't I, Kinney?”
“Oh, try something else! Plenty of guys like me.” Bartley continued writing. “I gave you your paper, didn’t I, Kinney?”
“You mean that you want me to get out?”
“You mean you want me to leave?”
“Far be it from me to say so.”
“It's not up to me to say that.”
This delighted Kinney as much as the last refinement of hospitality would have pleased another man. “Look here!” he said, “I want you should come out and see our camp. I can't fool away any more time on you here; but I want you should come out and see us. Give you something to write about. Hey?”
This thrilled Kinney just as much as the latest gesture of hospitality would have pleased someone else. “Hey!” he said, “I want you to come out and see our camp. I can’t waste any more time on you here, but I really want you to come and check us out. It’ll give you something to write about. Right?”
“The invitation comes at a time when circumstances over which I have no control oblige me to decline it. I admire your prudence, Kinney.”
“The invitation comes at a time when circumstances beyond my control force me to decline it. I appreciate your caution, Kinney.”
“No, honest Injian, now,” protested Kinney. “Take a day off, and fill up with dead advertisements. That's the way they used to do out in Alkali City when they got short of help on the Eagle, and we liked it just as well.”
“No, seriously, Injian, hear me out,” Kinney insisted. “Take a day off and load up on stale ads. That’s how they used to handle things over in Alkali City when they were short-staffed on the Eagle, and we enjoyed it just as much.”
“Now you are talking sense,” said Bartley, looking up at him. “How far is it to your settlement?”
“Now you’re making sense,” Bartley said, looking up at him. “How far is it to your settlement?”
“Two miles, if you're goin'; three and a half, if you aint.”
“Two miles if you're going; three and a half if you're not.”
“When are you coming in?”
“When are you coming in?”
“I'm in, now.”
"Count me in, now."
“I can't go with you to-day.”
“I can’t go with you today.”
“Well, how'll to-morrow morning suit?”
“Well, how does tomorrow morning work?”
“To-morrow morning will suit,” said Bartley.
"Tomorrow morning is good," Bartley said.
“All right. If anybody comes to see the editor to-morrow morning, Marilla,” said Kinney to the girl, “you tell 'em he's sick, and gone a-loggin', and won't be back till Saturday. Say,” he added, laying his hand on Bartley's shoulder, “you aint foolin'?”
“All right. If anyone comes to see the editor tomorrow morning, Marilla,” Kinney said to the girl, “tell them he's sick and went logging, and he won't be back until Saturday. By the way,” he added, placing his hand on Bartley's shoulder, “you're not messing around, are you?”
“If I am,” replied Bartley, “just mention it.”
“If I am,” Bartley replied, “just say the word.”
“Good!” said Kinney. “To-morrow it is, then.”
“Good!” said Kinney. “It’s tomorrow, then.”
Bartley finished addressing the newspapers, and then he put them up in wrappers and packages for the mail. “You can go, now, Marilla,” he said to the girl. “I'll leave some copy for you and Kitty; you'll find it on my table in the morning.”
Bartley finished dealing with the newspapers and then wrapped them up for mailing. “You can go now, Marilla,” he said to the girl. “I'll leave some articles for you and Kitty; you’ll find them on my table in the morning.”
“All right,” answered the girl.
“Okay,” answered the girl.
Bartley went to his supper, which he ate with more relish than he had felt for his meals since his troubles began, and he took part in the supper-table talk with something of his old audacity. The change interested the lady boarders, and they agreed that he must have had a letter. He returned to his office, and worked till nine o'clock, writing and selecting matter out of his exchanges. He spent most of the time in preparing the funny column, which was a favorite feature in the Free Press. Then he put the copy where the girls would find it in the morning, and, leaving the door unlocked, took his way up the street toward Squire Gaylord's.
Bartley went to dinner, which he enjoyed more than he had for meals since his troubles started, and he joined in the dinner-table conversation with a bit of his old confidence. The change caught the attention of the lady boarders, and they all agreed that he must have received a letter. He returned to his office and worked until nine o'clock, writing and selecting material from his exchanges. Most of the time was spent preparing the humor column, which was a popular feature in the Free Press. Then he placed the copy where the girls would find it in the morning, and, leaving the door unlocked, headed up the street toward Squire Gaylord's.
He knew that he should find the lawyer in his office, and he opened the office door without knocking, and went in. He had not met Squire Gaylord since the morning of his dismissal, and the old man had left him for the past eight days without any sign as to what he expected of Bartley, or of what he intended to do in his affair.
He knew he should find the lawyer in his office, so he opened the office door without knocking and walked in. He hadn't seen Squire Gaylord since the morning he was let go, and the old man had left him for the past eight days with no hint about what he expected from Bartley or what he planned to do regarding his situation.
They looked at each other, but exchanged no sort of greeting, as Bartley, unbidden, took a chair on the opposite side of the stove; the Squire did not put down the book he had been reading.
They looked at each other but didn’t say anything, as Bartley, without being invited, took a seat on the other side of the stove; the Squire didn’t close the book he had been reading.
“I've come to see what you're going to do about the Free Press,” said Bartley.
“I've come to see what you're going to do about the Free Press,” Bartley said.
The old man rubbed his bristling jaw, that seemed even lanker than when Bartley saw it last. He waited almost a minute before he replied, “I don't know as I've got any call to tell you.”
The old man rubbed his rough jaw, which looked even thinner than when Bartley last saw it. He paused for almost a minute before he responded, “I’m not sure I have any reason to tell you.”
“Then I'll tell you what I'm going to do about it,” retorted Bartley. “I'm going to leave it. I've done my last day's work on that paper. Do you think,” he cried, angrily, “that I'm going to keep on in the dark, and let you consult your pleasure as to my future? No, sir! You don't know your man quite, Mr. Gaylord!”
“Then let me tell you what I'm going to do about it,” Bartley shot back. “I’m going to walk away. I’ve done my last day’s work at that paper. Do you really think,” he shouted, furious, “that I’m going to stay in the dark and let you decide what happens to me? Absolutely not! You don’t fully understand who you’re dealing with, Mr. Gaylord!”
“You've got over your scare,” said the lawyer.
"You've gotten past your scare," said the lawyer.
“I've got over my scare,” Bartley retorted.
“I've gotten past my scare,” Bartley replied.
“And you think, because you're not afraid any longer, that you're out of danger. I know my man as well as you do, I guess.”
“And you think that since you're no longer afraid, you're safe. I know my man just as well as you do, I guess.”
“If you think I care for the danger, I don't. You may do what you please. Whatever you do, I shall know it isn't out of kindness for me. I didn't believe from the first that the law could touch me, and I wasn't uneasy on that account. But I didn't want to involve myself in a public scandal, for Miss Gaylord's sake. Miss Gaylord has released me from any obligations to her; and now you may go ahead and do what you like.” Each of the men knew how much truth there was in this; but for the moment in his anger, Bartley believed himself sincere, and there is no question but his defiance was so. Squire Gaylord made him no answer, and after a minute of expectation Bartley added, “At any rate, I've done with the Free Press. I advise you to stop the paper, and hand the office over to Henry Bird, when he gets about. I'm going out to Willett's logging-camp tomorrow, and I'm coming back to Equity on Saturday. You'll know where to find me till then, and after that you may look me up if you want me.”
“If you think I care about the danger, I don’t. You can do whatever you want. Whatever you decide, I’ll know it’s not out of kindness toward me. I never believed the law could touch me from the start, and I wasn’t worried about that. But I didn’t want to get caught up in a public scandal, for Miss Gaylord’s sake. Miss Gaylord has freed me from any obligations to her; now you can go ahead and do as you please.” Each of the men understood how much truth there was in this; but in his anger, Bartley believed he was being sincere, and without a doubt, his defiance was real. Squire Gaylord didn’t respond, and after a moment of waiting, Bartley added, “Anyway, I’m done with the Free Press. I suggest you shut the paper down and turn the office over to Henry Bird when he arrives. I’m heading out to Willett’s logging camp tomorrow, and I’ll be back in Equity on Saturday. You’ll know where to find me until then, and after that, you can come look for me if you want.”
He rose to go, but stopped with his hand on the door-knob, at a sound, preliminary to speaking, which the old man made in his throat. Bartley stopped, hoping for a further pretext of quarrel, but the lawyer merely asked, “Where's the key?”
He got up to leave but paused with his hand on the doorknob when he heard a noise the old man made in his throat before speaking. Bartley held back, hoping for another reason to argue, but the lawyer simply asked, “Where's the key?”
“It's in the office door.”
“It’s by the office door.”
The old man now looked at him as if he no longer saw him, and Bartley went out, balked of his purpose in part, and in that degree so much the more embittered.
The old man now looked at him as if he didn't see him anymore, and Bartley went out, frustrated in his goal to some extent, which made him feel even more bitter.
Squire Gaylord remained an hour longer; then he blew out his lamp, and left the little office for the night. A light was burning in the kitchen, and he made his way round to the back door of the house, and let himself in. His wife was there, sitting before the stove, in those last delicious moments before going to bed, when all the house is mellowed to such a warmth that it seems hard to leave it to the cold and dark. In this poor lady, who had so long denied herself spiritual comfort, there was a certain obscure luxury: she liked little dainties of the table; she liked soft warmth, an easy cushion. It was doubtless in the disintegration of the finer qualities of her nature, that, as they grew older together, she threw more and more the burden of acute feeling upon her husband, to whose doctrine of life she had submitted, but had never been reconciled. Marriage is, with all its disparities, a much more equal thing than appears, and the meek little wife, who has all the advantage of public sympathy, knows her power over her oppressor, and at some tender spot in his affections or his nerves can inflict an anguish that will avenge her for years of coarser aggression. Thrown in upon herself in so vital a matter as her religion, Mrs. Gaylord had involuntarily come to live largely for herself, though her talk was always of her husband. She gave up for him, as she believed, her soul's salvation, but she held him to account for the uttermost farthing of the price. She padded herself round at every point where she could have suffered through her sensibilities, and lived soft and snug in the shelter of his iron will and indomitable courage. It was not apathy that she had felt when their children died one after another, but an obscure and formless exultation that Mr. Gaylord would suffer enough for both.
Squire Gaylord stayed for another hour; then he turned off his lamp and left the small office for the night. There was a light on in the kitchen, so he went around to the back door of the house and let himself in. His wife was there, sitting in front of the stove, enjoying those last cozy moments before bed when the warmth of the house makes it hard to leave for the cold and dark outside. In this poor woman, who had long denied herself spiritual comfort, there was a certain hidden luxury: she enjoyed little treats at the table; she appreciated soft warmth and a comfy cushion. As they grew older together, it was likely in the breakdown of the finer qualities of her nature that she placed more of the burden of intense feelings on her husband, to whose outlook on life she had submitted but never fully accepted. Marriage, with all its differences, is actually much more of an equal partnership than it seems, and the meek little wife, who has the advantage of public sympathy, knows her power over her husband, and can inflict pain on him at a sensitive spot in his affections or nerves that would compensate for years of harsher treatment. Focused on herself in such an important matter as her faith, Mrs. Gaylord had unintentionally started to live mainly for herself, even though she always talked about her husband. She believed she sacrificed her soul's salvation for him, but she held him accountable for every bit of that cost. She protected herself in every area where she might have suffered through her feelings, and lived comfortably in the safety of his strong will and unwavering courage. It wasn’t indifference that she felt when their children passed away one after another, but a vague and shapeless triumph that Mr. Gaylord would experience enough pain for both of them.
Marcia was the youngest, and her mother left her training almost wholly to her father; she sometimes said that she never supposed the child would live. She did not actually urge this in excuse, but she had the appearance of doing so; and she held aloof from them both in their mutual relations, with mildly critical reserves. They spoiled each other, as father and daughter are apt to do when left to themselves. What was good in the child certainly received no harm from his indulgence; and what was naughty was after all not so very naughty. She was passionate, but she was generous; and if she showed a jealous temperament that must hereafter make her unhappy, for the time being it charmed and flattered her father to have her so fond of him that she could not endure any rivalry in his affection.
Marcia was the youngest, and her mother mostly left her upbringing to her father; she sometimes mentioned that she never thought the child would survive. She didn't really use this as an excuse, but it seemed like she did; and she kept her distance from both of them in how they interacted, with a mildly critical attitude. They spoiled each other, as father and daughter often do when it’s just them. Whatever was good in the child definitely wasn’t harmed by his indulgence; and whatever was mischief wasn’t all that bad after all. She was passionate, but she was generous; and although her jealousy was likely to make her unhappy in the future, for the time being, it pleased and flattered her father to have her so attached to him that she couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else having his affection.
Her education proceeded fitfully. He would not let her be forced to household tasks that she disliked; and as a little girl she went to school chiefly because she liked to go, and not because she would have been obliged to it if she had not chosen. When she grew older, she wished to go away to school, and her father allowed her; he had no great respect for boarding-schools, but if Marcia wanted to try it, he was willing to humor the joke.
Her education was inconsistent. He didn’t force her into household chores she didn’t enjoy; as a little girl, she went to school mainly because she liked it, not because she had to. When she got older, she wanted to attend school away from home, and her father agreed; he didn’t think highly of boarding schools, but if Marcia wanted to give it a shot, he was open to it.
What resulted was a great proficiency in the things that pleased her, and ignorance of the other things. Her father bought her a piano, on which she did not play much, and he bought her whatever dresses she fancied. He never came home from a journey without bringing her something; and he liked to take her with him when he went away to other places. She had been several times at Portland, and once at Montreal; he was very proud of her; he could not see that any one was better-looking, or dressed any better than his girl.
What happened was that she became really good at the things she enjoyed, while being clueless about everything else. Her father got her a piano, but she hardly played it, and he bought her all the dresses she wanted. He always returned from a trip with a gift for her, and he loved taking her along when he traveled to other places. She had been to Portland a few times and once to Montreal; he was really proud of her and thought no one looked better or dressed nicer than his daughter.
He came into the kitchen, and sat down with his hat on, and, taking his chin between his fingers, moved uneasily about on his chair.
He walked into the kitchen and sat down with his hat still on. Resting his chin on his fingers, he shifted restlessly in his chair.
“What's brought you in so early?” asked his wife.
“Why are you up so early?” asked his wife.
“Well, I got through,” he briefly explained. After a while he said, “Bartley Hubbard's been out there.”
“Well, I made it through,” he briefly explained. After a while, he said, “Bartley Hubbard's been out there.”
“You don't mean 't he knew she—”
“You don't mean 'he knew she—”
“No, he didn't know anything about that. He came to tell me he was going away.”
“No, he didn't know anything about that. He came to tell me he was leaving.”
“Well, I don't know what you're going to do, Mr. Gaylord,” said his wife, shifting the responsibility wholly upon him. “'D he seem to want to make it up?”
“Well, I don't know what you're going to do, Mr. Gaylord,” said his wife, shifting the responsibility entirely onto him. “Did he seem to want to make up?”
“M-no!” said the Squire, “he was on his high horse. He knows he aint in any danger now.”
“M-no!” said the Squire, “he was all high and mighty. He knows he isn’t in any danger now.”
“Aint you afraid she'll carry on dreadfully, when she finds out 't he's gone for good?” asked Mrs. Gaylord, with a sort of implied satisfaction that the carrying on was not to affect her.
“Aren't you worried she'll freak out when she finds out he’s gone for good?” asked Mrs. Gaylord, with a hint of satisfaction that the drama wouldn't impact her.
“M-yes,” said the Squire, “I suppose she'll carry on. But I don't know what to do about it. Sometimes I almost wish I'd tried to make it up between 'em that day; but I thought she'd better see, once for all, what sort of man she was going in for, if she married him. It's too late now to do anything. The fellow came in to-night for a quarrel, and nothing else; I could see that; and I didn't give him any chance.”
“M-yeah,” said the Squire, “I guess she’ll keep going. But I’m not sure what to do about it. Sometimes I almost wish I’d tried to help them patch things up that day; but I thought it was better for her to see, once and for all, what kind of guy she’d be marrying. It’s too late now to do anything. The guy came over tonight just looking for a fight, and nothing else; I could tell that; and I didn’t give him any opportunity.”
“You feel sure,” asked Mrs. Gaylord, impartially, “that Marcia wa'n't too particular?”
“You feel sure,” asked Mrs. Gaylord, neutrally, “that Marcia wasn't too picky?”
“No, Miranda, I don't feel sure of anything, except that it's past your bed-time. You better go. I'll sit up awhile yet. I came in because I couldn't settle my mind to anything out there.”
“No, Miranda, I’m not sure about anything, except that it’s past your bedtime. You should go. I’ll stay up for a little while longer. I came in because I couldn’t focus on anything out there.”
He took off his hat in token of his intending to spend the rest of the evening at home, and put it on the table at his elbow.
He took off his hat to show that he planned to spend the rest of the evening at home and placed it on the table next to him.
His wife sewed at the mending in her lap, without offering to act upon his suggestion. “It's plain to be seen that she can't get along without him.”
His wife stitched up the repairs in her lap, not bothering to respond to his suggestion. “It's clear she can't manage without him.”
“She'll have to, now,” replied the Squire.
“She'll have to now,” replied the Squire.
“I'm afraid,” said Mrs. Gaylord, softly, “that she'll be down sick. She don't look as if she'd slept any great deal since she's been gone. I d' know as I like very much to see her looking the way she does. I guess you've got to take her off somewheres.”
“I'm worried,” said Mrs. Gaylord gently, “that she’ll end up sick. She doesn’t look like she’s gotten much sleep since she left. I really don’t like seeing her look this way. I think you need to take her somewhere.”
“Why, she's just been off, and couldn't stay!”
“Why, she's just been away and couldn't stick around!”
“That's because she thought he was here yet. But if he's gone, it won't be the same thing.”
“That's because she thought he was still here. But if he's gone, it won't be the same.”
“Well, we've got to fight it out, some way,” said the Squire. “It wouldn't do to give in to it now. It always was too much of a one-sided thing, at the best; and if we tried now to mend it up, it would be ridiculous. I don't believe he would come back at all, now, and if he did, he wouldn't come back on any equal terms. He'd want to have everything his own way. M-no!” said the Squire, as if confirming himself in a conclusion often reached already in his own mind, “I saw by the way he began to-night that there wasn't anything to be done with him. It was fight from the word go.”
“Well, we have to figure this out somehow,” said the Squire. “We can't just give in now. It’s always been too one-sided to begin with; and if we tried to fix it now, it would be ridiculous. I don't think he would come back at all, and even if he did, it wouldn’t be on equal terms. He’d want everything to go his way. No way!” said the Squire, as if reinforcing a conclusion he had often reached in his own mind, “I could tell from the way he started tonight that there was no reasoning with him. It was a fight from the get-go.”
“Well,” said Mrs. Gaylord, with gentle, sceptical interest in the outcome, “if you've made up your mind to that, I hope you'll be able to carry it through.”
“Well,” said Mrs. Gaylord, with a gentle, skeptical interest in what would happen, “if you’re set on that, I hope you can see it through.”
“That's what I've made up my mind to,” said her husband.
“That's what I've decided,” her husband said.
Mrs. Gaylord rolled up the sewing in her work-basket, and packed it away against the side, bracing it with several pairs of newly darned socks and stockings neatly folded one into the other. She took her time for this, and when she rose at last to go out, with her basket in her hand, the door opened in her face, and Marcia entered. Mrs. Gaylord shrank back, and then slipped round behind her daughter and vanished. The girl took no notice of her mother, but went and sat down on her father's knee, throwing her arms round his neck, and dropping her haggard face on his shoulder. She had arrived at home a few hours earlier, having driven over from a station ten miles distant, on a road that did not pass near Equity. After giving as much of a shock to her mother's mild nature as it was capable of receiving by her unexpected return, she had gone to her own room, and remained ever since without seeing her father. He put up his thin old hand and passed it over her hair, but it was long before either of them spoke.
Mrs. Gaylord rolled up the sewing in her work basket and tucked it away against the side, propping it with several pairs of newly darned socks and stockings neatly folded together. She took her time with this, and when she finally stood up to leave, basket in hand, the door opened in her face, and Marcia walked in. Mrs. Gaylord stepped back and then slipped around behind her daughter and disappeared. Marcia didn’t notice her mother; instead, she sat down on her father’s knee, wrapped her arms around his neck, and rested her weary face on his shoulder. She had come home a few hours earlier, having driven over from a station ten miles away, on a road that didn't pass near Equity. After giving her mother’s gentle nature as much of a shock as it could handle with her unexpected arrival, she went to her own room and stayed there without seeing her father until now. He lifted his thin, old hand and ran it over her hair, but it took a long time before either of them spoke.
At last Marcia lifted her head, and looked her father in the face with a smile so pitiful that he could not bear to meet it. “Well, father?” she said.
At last, Marcia raised her head and looked her father in the face with a smile so sad that he couldn't bear to return it. “So, what now, Dad?” she asked.
“Well, Marsh,” he answered huskily. “What do you think of me now?”
“Well, Marsh,” he replied in a raspy voice. “What do you think of me now?”
“I'm glad to have you back again,” he replied.
“I'm glad to have you back,” he replied.
“You know why I came?”
"Do you know why I’m here?"
“Yes, I guess I know.”
“Yeah, I guess I know.”
She put down her head again, and moaned and cried, “Father! Father!” with dry sobs. When she looked up, confronting him with her tearless eyes, “What shall I do? What shall I do?” she demanded desolately.
She lowered her head again and moaned, crying out, “Dad! Dad!” with dry sobs. When she looked up, facing him with her tearless eyes, she asked desperately, “What should I do? What should I do?”
He tried to clear his throat to speak, but it required more than one effort to bring the words. “I guess you better go along with me up to Boston. I'm going up the first of the week.”
He tried to clear his throat to speak, but it took more than one effort to get the words out. “I guess you should come with me to Boston. I'm going up at the beginning of the week.”
“No,” she said quietly.
“No,” she whispered.
“The change would do you good. It's a long while since you've been away from home,” her father urged.
“The change would be good for you. It’s been a while since you’ve been away from home,” her father urged.
She looked at him in sad reproach of his uncandor. “You know there's nothing the matter with me, father. You know what the trouble is.” He was silent. He could not face the trouble. “I've heard people talk of a heartache,” she went on. “I never believed there was really such a thing. But I know there is, now. There's a pain here.” She pressed her hand against her breast. “It's sore with aching. What shall I do? I shall have to live through it somehow.”
She looked at him with a sad disappointment over his lack of honesty. “You know there's nothing wrong with me, Dad. You know what the issue is.” He stayed quiet. He couldn't confront the problem. “I've heard people talk about heartache,” she continued. “I never really believed it was a real thing. But now I know it is. There's a pain here.” She pressed her hand against her chest. “It hurts with ache. What should I do? I’ll have to get through it somehow.”
“If you don't feel exactly well,” said her father “I guess you better see the doctor.”
“If you’re not feeling well,” her father said, “maybe you should see the doctor.”
“What shall I tell him is the matter with me? That I want Bartley Hubbard?” He winced at the words, but she did not. “He knows that already. Everybody in town does. It's never been any secret. I couldn't hide it, from the first day I saw him. I'd just as lief as not they should say I was dying for him. I shall not care what they say when I'm dead.”
“What should I tell him is wrong with me? That I want Bartley Hubbard?” He flinched at the words, but she didn’t. “He already knows that. Everyone in town does. It's never been a secret. I couldn’t hide it from the first day I saw him. I’d just as soon they say I was dying for him. I won’t care what they say when I’m gone.”
“You'd oughtn't,—you'd oughtn't to talk that way, Marcia,” said her father, gently.
“You shouldn’t— you shouldn’t talk that way, Marcia,” her father said gently.
“What difference?” she demanded, scornfully. There was truly no difference, so far as concerned any creed of his, and he was too honest to make further pretence. “What shall I do?” she went on again. “I've thought of praying; but what would be the use?”
“What difference?” she asked, with disdain. There really was no difference when it came to any belief of his, and he was too honest to pretend otherwise. “What should I do?” she continued. “I've considered praying, but what good would it do?”
“I've never denied that there was a God, Marcia,” said her father.
“I've never denied that there is a God, Marcia,” her father said.
“Oh, I know. That kind of God! Well, well! I know that I talk like a crazy person! Do you suppose it was providential, my being with you in the office that morning when Bartley came in?”
“Oh, I know. That kind of God! Well, well! I know I sound like a crazy person! Do you think it was fate that I was with you in the office that morning when Bartley showed up?”
“No,” said her father, “I don't. I think it was an accident.”
“No,” her father said, “I don’t. I believe it was an accident.”
“Mother said it was providential, my finding him out before it was too late.”
“Mom said it was lucky that I discovered the truth about him before it was too late.”
“I think it was a good thing. The fellow has the making of a first-class scoundrel in him.”
“I think it was a good thing. The guy has the potential to be a first-class scoundrel.”
“Do you think he's a scoundrel now?” she asked quietly.
“Do you think he’s a jerk now?” she asked quietly.
“He hasn't had any great opportunity yet,” said the old man, conscientiously sparing him.
“He hasn't had any great opportunities yet,” said the old man, thoughtfully sparing him.
“Well, then, I'm sorry I found him out. Yes! If I hadn't, I might have married him, and perhaps if I had died soon I might never have found him out. He could have been good to me a year or two, and then, if I died, I should have been safe. Yes, I wish he could have deceived me till after we were married. Then I couldn't have borne to give him up, may be.”
“Well, I’m sorry I discovered his true self. Yes! If I hadn’t, I might have married him, and maybe if I had died soon after, I would have never found out. He might have treated me well for a year or two, and then, if I died, I would have been safe. Yes, I wish he could have kept up the act until after we were married. Then I wouldn’t have been able to bear losing him, perhaps.”
“You would have given him up, even then. And that's the only thing that reconciles me to it now. I'm sorry for you, my girl; but you'd have made me sorrier then. Sooner or later he'd have broken your heart.”
“You would have given him up, even back then. And that's the only thing that makes it easier for me now. I'm sorry for you, my girl; but you would have made me sorrier back then. Sooner or later, he would have broken your heart.”
“He's broken it now,” said the girl, calmly.
“Now he's messed it up,” said the girl, calmly.
“Oh, no, he hasn't,” replied her father, with a false cheerfulness that did not deceive her. “You're young and you'll get over it. I mean to take you away from here for a while. I mean to take you up to Boston, and on to New York. I shouldn't care if we went as far as Washington. I guess, when you've seen a little more of the world, you won't think Bartley Hubbard's the only one in it.”
“Oh, no, he hasn't,” her father replied, trying to sound cheerful, but she could see right through it. “You’re young, and you’ll get through this. I plan to take you away from here for a while. I’m thinking of going to Boston, and then on to New York. I wouldn’t even mind if we went all the way to Washington. I bet once you’ve seen a bit more of the world, you won’t think Bartley Hubbard is the only one that matters.”
She looked at him so intently that he thought she must be pleased at his proposal. “Do you think I could get him back?” she asked.
She stared at him so intensely that he thought she must be happy about his proposal. “Do you think I could win him back?” she asked.
Her father lost his patience; it was a relief to be angry. “No, I don't think so. I know you couldn't. And you ought to be ashamed of mentioning such a thing!”
Her father lost his patience; it felt good to be angry. “No, I don't think so. I know you couldn't. And you should be ashamed for bringing that up!”
“Oh, ashamed! No, I've got past that. I have no shame any more where he's concerned. Oh, I'd give the world if I could call him back,—if I could only undo what I did! I was wild; I wasn't reasonable; I wouldn't listen to him. I drove him away without giving him a chance to say a word! Of course, he must hate me now. What makes you think he wouldn't come back?” she asked.
“Oh, shame? No, I’ve moved past that. I don’t feel shame anymore when it comes to him. Oh, I’d give anything to be able to call him back—if I could just undo what I did! I was out of control; I wasn’t thinking straight; I wouldn’t listen to him. I pushed him away without letting him say a word! Of course, he must hate me now. What makes you think he wouldn’t come back?” she asked.
“I know he wouldn't,” answered her father, with a sort of groan. “He's going to leave Equity for one thing, and—”
“I know he wouldn't,” her father replied with a sort of groan. “He's going to leave Equity for one thing, and—”
“Going to leave Equity,” she repeated, absently Then he felt her tremble. “How do you know he's going?” She turned upon her father, and fixed him sternly with her eyes.
“I'm going to leave Equity,” she repeated, absentmindedly. Then he felt her tremble. “How do you know he's going?” She turned to her father and stared at him firmly.
“Do you suppose he would stay, after what's happened, any longer than he could help?”
“Do you think he would stick around, after everything that’s happened, any longer than he has to?”
“How do you know he's going?” she repeated.
“How do you know he’s going?” she repeated.
“He told me.”
"He said to me."
She stood up. “He told you? When?”
She stood up. “He told you? When?”
“To-night.”
“Tonight.”
“Why, where—where did you see him?” she whispered.
“Why, where—where did you see him?” she whispered.
“In the office.”
“At work.”
“Since—since—I came? Bartley been here! And you didn't tell me,—you didn't let me know?” They looked at each other in silence. At last, “When is he going?” she asked.
“Since—since—I came? Bartley has been here! And you didn't tell me—you didn't let me know?” They looked at each other in silence. At last, “When is he leaving?” she asked.
“To-morrow morning.”
"Tomorrow morning."
She sat down in the chair which her mother had left, and clutched the back of another, on which her fingers opened and closed convulsively, while she caught her breath in irregular gasps. She broke into a low moaning, at last, the expression of abject defeat in the struggle she had waged with herself. Her father watched her with dumb compassion. “Better go to bed, Marcia,” he said, with the same dry calm as if he had been sending her away after some pleasant evening which she had suffered to run too far into the night.
She sat down in the chair her mother had left and grabbed the back of another one, her fingers opening and closing nervously as she tried to catch her breath in uneven gasps. Eventually, she started low moaning, reflecting the deep defeat in the battle she had fought within herself. Her father looked at her with silent compassion. “You should probably go to bed, Marcia,” he said, with the same calm tone as if he were sending her off after a nice evening that had just gone on too late.
“Don't you think—don't you think—he'll have to see you again before he goes?” she made out to ask.
“Don’t you think—don’t you think—he’ll need to see you again before he leaves?” she managed to ask.
“No; he's finished up with me,” said the old man.
“No, he's done with me,” said the old man.
“Well, then,” she cried, desperately, “you'll have to go to him, father, and get him to come! I can't help it! I can't give him up! You've got to go to him, now, father,—yes, yes, you have! You've got to go and tell him. Go and get him to come, for mercy's sake! Tell him that I'm sorry,—that I beg his pardon,—that I didn't think—I didn't understand,—that I knew he didn't do anything wrong—” She rose, and, placing her hand on her father's shoulder, accented each entreaty with a little push.
“Well, then,” she cried, desperately, “you'll have to go to him, Dad, and get him to come! I can't help it! I can't let him go! You’ve got to go to him, now, Dad—yes, yes, you do! You have to go and tell him. Go and get him to come, for mercy’s sake! Tell him that I'm sorry—that I’m asking for his forgiveness—that I didn’t think—I didn’t understand—that I knew he didn’t do anything wrong—” She stood up and, placing her hand on her father’s shoulder, emphasized each plea with a gentle push.
He looked up into her face with a haggard smile of sympathy. “You're crazy, Marcia,” he said, gently.
He looked up at her face with a tired smile of empathy. “You're crazy, Marcia,” he said softly.
“Don't laugh!” she cried. “I'm not crazy now. But I was, then,—yes, stark, staring crazy. Look here, father! I want to tell you,—I want to explain to you!” She dropped upon his knee again, and tremblingly passed her arm round his neck. “You see, I had just told him the day before that I shouldn't care for anything that happened before we were engaged, and then at the very first thing I went and threw him off! And I had no right to do it. He knows that, and that's what makes him so hard towards me. But if you go and tell him that I see now I was all wrong, and that I beg his pardon, and then ask him to give me one more trial, just one more—You can do as much as that for me, can't you?”
“Don’t laugh!” she exclaimed. “I’m not crazy now. But I was back then—yes, completely out of my mind. Look, Dad! I want to tell you—I want to explain!” She dropped down onto his knee again, wrapping her arm around his neck nervously. “You see, I had just told him the day before that I wouldn’t care about anything that happened before we got engaged, and then at the very first opportunity, I went and pushed him away! I had no right to do that. He knows that, and that’s why he’s so harsh with me. But if you could just tell him that I realize now I was totally wrong, and that I apologize, and then ask him to give me one more chance, just one more—You can do that much for me, can’t you?”
“Oh, you poor, crazy girl!” groaned her father. “Don't you see that the trouble is in what the fellow is, and not in any particular thing that he's done? He's a scamp, through and through; and he's all the more a scamp when he doesn't know it. He hasn't got the first idea of anything but selfishness.”
“Oh, you poor, crazy girl!” her father groaned. “Don't you see that the problem is with who he is, and not with anything specific he's done? He's a complete scamp; and he's even more of a scamp because he doesn't realize it. He has no understanding of anything except his own selfishness.”
“No, no! Now, I'll tell you,—now, I'll prove it to you. That very Sunday when we were out riding together; and we met her and her mother, and their sleigh upset, and he had to lift her back; and it made me wild to see him, and I wouldn't hardly touch him or speak to him afterwards, he didn't say one angry word to me. He just pulled me up to him, and wouldn't let me be mad; and he said that night he didn't mind it a bit because it showed how much I liked him. Now, doesn't that prove he's good,—a good deal better than I am, and that he'll forgive me, if you'll go and ask him? I know he isn't in bed yet; he always sits up late,—he told me so; and you'll find him there in his room. Go straight to his room, father; don't let anybody see you down in the office; I couldn't bear it; and slip out with him as quietly as you can. But, oh, do hurry now! Don't lose another minute!”
“No, no! Listen, I’ll tell you—and I’ll prove it to you. That Sunday we were out riding together; we ran into her and her mom, and their sleigh tipped over, and he had to help her up. It drove me crazy to see him do that, and I barely touched him or spoke to him afterwards, but he didn’t say one angry word to me. He just pulled me close and wouldn’t let me stay mad; he told me that night he didn’t care at all because it showed how much I liked him. Doesn’t that prove he’s a good guy—way better than I am, and that he’ll forgive me if you go and ask him? I know he’s not in bed yet; he always stays up late—he told me that—and you’ll find him in his room. Go straight to his room, Dad; don’t let anyone see you down in the office; I couldn’t stand it; and sneak him out as quietly as you can. But please hurry! Don’t waste another minute!”
The wild joy sprang into her face, as her father rose; a joy that it was terrible to him to see die out of it as he spoke: “I tell you it's no use, Marcia! He wouldn't come if I went to him—”
The wild joy lit up her face when her father stood up; a joy that it pained him to watch fade away as he said, “I’m telling you it’s pointless, Marcia! He wouldn’t come even if I went to him—”
“Oh, yes,—yes, he would! I know he would! If—”
“Oh, yes—yes, he definitely would! I know he would! If—”
“He wouldn't! You're mistaken! I should have to get down in the dust for nothing. He's a bad fellow, I tell you; and you've got to give him up.”
“He wouldn’t! You’re wrong! I shouldn’t have to lower myself for nothing. He’s a bad guy, I’m telling you; and you need to give him up.”
“You hate me!” cried the girl. The old man walked to and fro, clutching his hands. Their lives had always been in such intimate sympathy, his life had so long had her happiness for its sole pleasure, that the pang in her heart racked his with as sharp an agony. “Well, I shall die; and then I hope you will be satisfied.”
“You hate me!” yelled the girl. The old man paced back and forth, clenching his hands. Their lives had always been so closely connected; his happiness had relied solely on hers for so long that the pain in her heart tormented him with equal intensity. “Well, I’ll die; and then I hope you’ll be happy.”
“Marcia, Marcia!” pleaded her father. “You don't know what you're saying.”
“Marcia, Marcia!” her dad pleaded. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You're letting him go away from me,—you're letting me lose him,—you're killing me!”
“You're letting him walk away from me—you're making me lose him—you’re breaking my heart!”
“He wouldn't come, my girl. It would be perfectly useless to go to him. You must—you must try to control yourself, Marcia. There's no other way,—there's no other hope. You're disgraceful. You ought to be ashamed. You ought to have some pride about you. I don't know what's come over you since you've been with that fellow. You seem to be out of your senses. But try,—try, my girl, to get over it. If you'll fight it, you'll conquer yet. You've got a spirit for anything. And I'll help you, Marcia. I'll take you anywhere. I'll do anything for you—”
“He's not going to come, my girl. It would be completely pointless to go to him. You have to—you have to try to get a grip, Marcia. There’s no other way,—there’s no other hope. You’re being disgraceful. You should be ashamed. You should have some self-respect. I don’t know what’s happened to you since you’ve been with that guy. You seem out of your mind. But try,—try, my girl, to move past this. If you fight it, you can overcome it. You’ve got the determination for anything. And I’ll help you, Marcia. I’ll take you anywhere. I’ll do anything for you—”
“You wouldn't go to him, and ask him to come here, if it would save his life!”
"You wouldn't go to him and ask him to come here if it would save his life!”
“No,” said the old man, with a desperate quiet, “I wouldn't.”
“No,” said the old man, in a strained whisper, “I wouldn’t.”
She stood looking at him, and then she sank suddenly and straight down, as if she were sinking through the floor. When he lifted her, he saw that she was in a dead faint, and while the swoon lasted would be out of her misery. The sight of this had wrung him so that he had a kind of relief in looking at her lifeless face; and he was slow in laying her down again, like one that fears to wake a sleeping child. Then he went to the foot of the stairs, and softly called to his wife: “Miranda! Miranda!”
She stood there looking at him, and then she suddenly dropped straight down, as if she were falling through the floor. When he picked her up, he realized she was completely unconscious, and while she was out, she would be free from her suffering. Seeing this affected him deeply, and he felt a strange sense of relief looking at her pale face; he hesitated to put her down again, like someone afraid to wake a sleeping child. Then he went to the bottom of the stairs and quietly called out to his wife: “Miranda! Miranda!”
IX.
Kinney came into town the next morning bright and early, as he phrased it; but he did not stop at the hotel for Bartley till nine o'clock. “Thought I'd give you time for breakfast,” he exclaimed, “and so I didn't hurry up any about gettin' in my supplies.”
Kinney arrived in town the next morning bright and early, as he put it; but he didn’t stop at the hotel for Bartley until nine o'clock. “I thought I’d give you some time for breakfast,” he said, “so I didn’t rush to get my supplies.”
It was a beautiful morning, so blindingly sunny that Bartley winked as they drove up through the glistening street, and was glad to dip into the gloom of the first woods; it was not cold; the snow felt the warmth, and packed moistly under their runners. The air was perfectly still; at a distance on the mountain-sides it sparkled as if full of diamond dust. Far overhead some crows called.
It was a beautiful morning, so bright that Bartley squinted as they drove up the shiny street, and he was happy to enter the shade of the first woods; it wasn't cold; the snow felt the warmth and packed down moistly under their skis. The air was perfectly still; in the distance on the mountainsides, it sparkled like it was covered in diamond dust. Far overhead, some crows called.
“The sun's getting high,” said Bartley, with the light sigh of one to whom the thought of spring brings no hope.
“The sun is getting high,” said Bartley, with a light sigh of someone for whom the thought of spring offers no hope.
“Well, I shouldn't begin to plough for corn just yet,” replied Kinney. “It's curious,” he went on, “to see how anxious we are to have a thing over, it don't much matter what it is, whether it's summer or winter. I suppose we'd feel different if we wa'n't sure there was going to be another of 'em. I guess that's one reason why the Lord concluded not to keep us clearly posted on the question of another life. If it wa'n't for the uncertainty of the thing, there are a lot of fellows like you that wouldn't stand it here a minute. Why, if we had a dead sure thing of over-the-river,—good climate, plenty to eat and wear, and not much to do,—I don't believe any of us would keep Darling Minnie waiting,—well, a great while. But you see, the thing's all on paper, and that makes us cautious, and willing to hang on here awhile longer. Looks splendid on the map: streets regularly laid out; public squares; band-stands; churches; solid blocks of houses, with all the modern improvements; but you can't tell whether there's any town there till you're on the ground; and then, if you don't like it, there's no way of gettin' back to the States.” He turned round upon Bartley and opened his mouth wide, to imply that this was pleasantry.
“Well, I shouldn't start farming for corn just yet,” replied Kinney. “It's interesting,” he continued, “to see how eager we are to get done with things, no matter what it is, whether it's summer or winter. I guess we'd feel differently if we weren't sure there was going to be another one. I think that's one reason why the Lord decided not to keep us fully informed about the afterlife. Without that uncertainty, a lot of guys like you wouldn't be able to stick it out here even for a minute. Honestly, if we had a guaranteed situation on the other side,—great weather, plenty of food and clothes, and not much to do,—I doubt any of us would keep Darling Minnie waiting,—well, not for a long time. But you see, it’s all just a concept for now, and that makes us cautious, willing to stick around here a little longer. It looks amazing on the map: streets neatly laid out; public squares; bandstands; churches; solid blocks of houses, with all the modern amenities; but you can't tell if there's really a town there until you're on the ground; and then, if you don’t like it, there’s no way to get back to the States.” He turned to Bartley and opened his mouth wide, suggesting that this was a joke.
“Do you throw your philosophy in, all under the same price, Kinney?” asked the young fellow.
“Do you include your philosophy in the same price, Kinney?” asked the young guy.
“Well, yes; I never charge anything over,” said Kinney. “You see, I have a good deal of time to think when I'm around by myself all day, and the philosophy don't cost me anything, and the fellows like it. Roughing it the way they do, they can stand 'most anything. Hey?” He now not only opened his mouth upon Bartley, but thrust him in the side with his elbow, and then laughed noisily.
"Well, sure; I never charge extra," Kinney said. "You see, I have a lot of time to think when I’m by myself all day, and the philosophy doesn’t cost me anything, and the guys like it. Toughing it out like they do, they can handle just about anything. Right?" He not only talked at Bartley but also nudged him in the side with his elbow, then laughed loudly.
Kinney was the cook. He had been over pretty nearly the whole uninhabitable globe, starting as a gaunt and awkward boy from the Maine woods, and keeping until he came back to them in late middle-life the same gross and ridiculous optimism. He had been at sea, and shipwrecked on several islands in the Pacific; he had passed a rainy season at Panama, and a yellow-fever season at Vera Cruz, and had been carried far into the interior of Peru by a tidal wave during an earthquake season; he was in the Border Ruffian War of Kansas, and he clung to California till prosperity deserted her after the completion of the Pacific road. Wherever he went, he carried or found adversity; but, with a heart fed on the metaphysics of Horace Greeley, and buoyed up by a few wildly interpreted maxims of Emerson, he had always believed in other men, and their fitness for the terrestrial millennium, which was never more than ten days or ten miles off. It is not necessary to say that he had continued as poor as he began, and that he was never able to contribute to those railroads, mills, elevators, towns, and cities which were sure to be built, sir, sure to be built, wherever he went. When he came home at last to the woods, some hundreds of miles north of Equity, he found that some one had realized his early dream of a summer hotel on the shore of the beautiful lake there; and he unenviously settled down to admire the landlord's thrift, and to act as guide and cook for parties of young ladies and gentlemen who started from the hotel to camp in the woods. This brought him into the society of cultivated people, for which he had a real passion. He had always had a few thoughts rattling round in his skull, and he liked to make sure of them in talk with those who had enjoyed greater advantages than himself. He never begrudged them their luck; he simply and sweetly admired them; he made studies of their several characters, and was never tired of analyzing them to their advantage to the next summer's parties. Late in the fall, he went in, as it is called, with a camp of loggers, among whom he rarely failed to find some remarkable men. But he confessed that he did not enjoy the steady three or four months in the winter woods with no coming out at all till spring; and he had been glad of this chance in a logging camp near Equity, in which he had been offered the cook's place by the owner who had tested his fare in the Northern woods the summer before. Its proximity to the village allowed him to loaf in upon civilization at least once a week, and he spent the greater part of his time at the Free Press office on publication day. He had always sought the society of newspaper men, and, wherever he could, he had given them his. He was not long in discovering that Bartley was smart as a steel trap; and by an early and natural transition from calling the young lady compositors by their pet names, and patting them on their shoulders, he had arrived at a like affectionate intimacy with Bartley.
Kinney was the cook. He had traveled just about the entire uninhabitable world, starting as a tall and awkward boy from the Maine woods, and kept the same gross and ridiculous optimism until he returned to them in his late middle age. He had been at sea and shipwrecked on several islands in the Pacific; he survived a rainy season in Panama and a yellow fever season in Vera Cruz, and was carried deep into the interior of Peru by a tidal wave during an earthquake season; he was involved in the Border Ruffian War in Kansas, and he stuck around California until prosperity left after the completion of the Pacific railroad. Wherever he went, he encountered hardship, but, with a heart inspired by the ideas of Horace Greeley and uplifted by a few wildly interpreted maxims of Emerson, he always believed in other people and their potential for a perfect world that was never more than ten days or ten miles away. It's not necessary to mention that he remained as poor as when he started and was never able to contribute to those railroads, mills, elevators, towns, and cities that were bound to be built, you bet, sure to be built, wherever he went. When he finally returned home to the woods, several hundred miles north of Equity, he found that someone had made his early dream of a summer hotel on the shore of the gorgeous lake there a reality; he selflessly settled down to admire the landlord’s success and to act as a guide and cook for groups of young ladies and gentlemen who set out from the hotel to camp in the woods. This put him in touch with cultured people, which he genuinely loved. He had always had a few thoughts bouncing around in his head, and he liked to clarify them by talking with those who had enjoyed more opportunities than he had. He never resented their luck; he simply and genuinely admired them; he studied their different characters and never grew tired of analyzing them for the benefit of the next summer’s groups. Late in the fall, he joined a camp of loggers, where he often found some remarkable people. However, he admitted that he didn’t enjoy the long, steady stretch of three or four months in the winter woods with no break until spring; and he was grateful for this opportunity in a logging camp near Equity, where the owner, who had tasted his cooking in the Northern woods the summer before, offered him the cook’s position. Its closeness to the village allowed him to pop into civilization at least once a week, and he spent most of his time at the Free Press office on publication days. He had always sought out the company of newspaper people, and whenever he could, he had given them his time. It didn’t take long for him to realize that Bartley was sharp as a steel trap; and through a smooth and natural progression from calling the young lady compositors by their nicknames and patting them on their shoulders, he formed a similar affectionate bond with Bartley.
As they worked deep into the woods on their way to the camp, the road dwindled to a well-worn track between the stumps and bushes. The ground was rough, and they constantly plunged down the slopes of little hills, and climbed the sides of the little valleys, and from time to time they had to turn out for teams drawing logs to the mills in Equity, each with its equipage of four or five wild young fellows, who saluted Kinney with an ironical cheer or jovial taunt in passing.
As they made their way deeper into the woods toward the camp, the road shrank to a familiar path between the stumps and bushes. The ground was uneven, and they frequently slid down the slopes of small hills and climbed the sides of little valleys. Occasionally, they had to step aside for teams hauling logs to the mills in Equity, each accompanied by four or five rowdy young guys, who greeted Kinney with a sarcastic cheer or a cheerful mockery as they passed.
“They're all just so,” he explained, with pride, when the last party had passed. “They're gentlemen, every one of 'em,—perfect gentlemen.”
“They're all just so,” he explained proudly when the last party had passed. “They're all gentlemen, every single one of them—perfect gentlemen.”
They came at last to a wider clearing than any they had yet passed through, and here on a level of the hillside stretched the camp, a long, low structure of logs, with the roof broken at one point by a stovepipe, and the walls irregularly pierced by small windows; around it crouched and burrowed in the drift the sheds that served as stables and storehouses.
They finally reached a wider clearing than any they had encountered before, and here on a flat part of the hillside lay the camp, a long, low building made of logs, with a stovepipe sticking out of the roof in one spot, and the walls unevenly punctured by small windows; surrounding it were the sheds that served as stables and storage, huddled and buried in the snow.
The sun shone, and shone with dazzling brightness, upon the opening; the sound of distant shouts and the rhythmical stroke of axes came to it out of the forest; but the camp was deserted, and in the stillness Kinney's voice seemed strange and alien. “Walk in, walk in!” he said, hospitably. “I've got to look after my horse.”
The sun blazed, shining brightly on the entrance; the sounds of distant shouts and the rhythmic chopping of axes echoed from the forest, but the camp was empty, and in the quiet, Kinney's voice felt odd and out of place. “Come in, come in!” he said, welcomingly. “I have to take care of my horse.”
But Bartley remained at the door, blinking in the sunshine, and harking to the near silence that sang in his ears. A curious feeling possessed him; sickness of himself as of some one else; a longing, consciously helpless, to be something different; a sense of captivity to habits and thoughts and hopes that centred in himself, and served him alone.
But Bartley stayed at the door, squinting in the sunlight, and listening to the almost silence that echoed in his ears. He felt a strange sensation; a sickness about himself as if he were someone else; a longing, painfully aware of his helplessness, to be someone different; a feeling of being trapped by habits, thoughts, and hopes that were all focused on him, serving only him.
“Terribly peaceful around here,” said Kinney, coming back to him, and joining him in a survey of the landscape, with his hands on his hips, and a stem of timothy projecting from his lips.
“Super peaceful around here,” said Kinney, returning to him and joining him in looking over the landscape, his hands on his hips and a piece of timothy sticking out of his mouth.
“Yes, terribly,” assented Bartley.
“Yes, very much,” agreed Bartley.
“But it aint a bad way for a man to live, as long as he's young; or haint got anybody that wants his company more than his room.—Be the place for you.”
“But it isn't a bad way for a man to live, as long as he's young; or doesn’t have anyone who wants his company more than his space.—It could be the place for you.”
“On which ground?” Bartley asked, drily, without taking his eyes from a distant peak that showed through the notch in the forest.
“On what basis?” Bartley asked, dryly, without taking his eyes off a distant peak that was visible through the gap in the forest.
Kinney laughed in as unselfish enjoyment as if he had made the turn himself. “Well, that aint exactly what I meant to say: what I meant was that any man engaged in intellectual pursuits wants to come out and commune with nature, every little while.”
Kinney laughed with genuine enjoyment, as if he had experienced the twist himself. “Well, that’s not exactly what I meant to say; what I meant was that any guy involved in intellectual work wants to step outside and connect with nature every now and then.”
“You call the Equity Free Press intellectual pursuits?” demanded Bartley, with scorn. “I suppose it is,” he added. “Well, here I am,—right on the commune. But nature's such a big thing, I think it takes two to commune with her.”
“You call the Equity Free Press intellectual pursuits?” Bartley asked, filled with contempt. “I guess it is,” he continued. “Well, here I am—right in the commune. But nature is such a vast thing; I think it takes two to really connect with her.”
“Well, a girl's a help,” assented Kinney.
“Well, a girl helps,” Kinney agreed.
“I wasn't thinking of a girl, exactly,” said Bartley, with a little sadness. “I mean that, if you're not in first-rate spiritual condition, you're apt to get floored if you undertake to commune with nature.”
“I wasn't really thinking about a girl,” Bartley said, sounding a bit sad. “What I mean is, if you're not in good spiritual shape, you're likely to be overwhelmed if you try to connect with nature.”
“I guess that's about so. If a man's got anything, on his mind, a big railroad depot's the place for him. But you're run down. You ought to come out here, and take a hand, and be a man amongst men.” Kinney talked partly for quantity, and partly for pure, indefinite good feeling.
“I guess that's about right. If a guy has something on his mind, a big railroad depot is the place for him. But you're worn out. You should come out here, get involved, and be a man among men.” Kinney spoke partly to fill the silence and partly out of genuine, vague goodwill.
Bartley turned toward the door. “What have you got inside, here?”
Bartley turned to the door. “What do you have in there?”
Kinney flung the door open, and followed his guest within. The first two-thirds of the cabin was used as a dormitory, and the sides were furnished with rough bunks, from the ground to the roof. The round, unhewn logs showed their form everywhere; the crevices were calked with moss; and the walls were warm and tight. It was dark between the bunks, but beyond it was lighter, and Bartley could see at the farther end a vast cooking-stove, and three long tables with benches at their sides. A huge coffee-pot stood on the top of the stove, and various pots and kettles surrounded it.
Kinney swung the door open and led his guest inside. The first two-thirds of the cabin served as a dormitory, with rough bunks lining the walls, stretching from the ground to the ceiling. The round, unrefined logs were visible everywhere; the gaps were sealed with moss, and the walls felt warm and sturdy. It was dark between the bunks, but further in was brighter, and Bartley could see a large cooking stove at the far end, along with three long tables flanked by benches. A big coffee pot sat on top of the stove, surrounded by various pots and kettles.
“Come into the dining-room and sit down in the parlor,” said Kinney, drawing off his coat as he walked forward. “Take the sofa,” he added, indicating a movable bench. He hung his coat on a peg and rolled up his shirt-sleeves, and began to whistle cheerily, like a man who enjoys his work, as he threw open the stove door and poked in some sticks of fuel. A brooding warmth filled the place, and the wood made a pleasant crackling as it took fire.
“Come into the dining room and have a seat in the living room,” Kinney said, taking off his coat as he stepped further in. “You can take the sofa,” he added, pointing to a movable bench. He hung his coat on a peg, rolled up his shirt sleeves, and started whistling happily, like someone who enjoys their job, as he opened the stove door and added some pieces of wood. A cozy warmth spread through the room, and the wood made a nice crackling sound as it caught fire.
“Here's my desk,” said Kinney, pointing to a barrel that supported a broad, smooth board-top. “This is where I compose my favorite works.” He turned round, and cut out of a mighty mass of dough in a tin trough a portion, which he threw down on his table and attacked with a rolling-pin. “That means pie, Mr. Hubbard,” he explained, “and pie means meat-pie,—or squash-pie, at a pinch. Today's pie-baking day. But you needn't be troubled on that account. So's to-morrow, and so was yesterday. Pie twenty-one times a week is the word, and don't you forget it. They say old Agassiz,” Kinney went on, in that easy, familiar fondness with which our people like to speak of greatness that impresses their imagination,—“they say old Agassiz recommended fish as the best food for the brain. Well, I don't suppose but what it is. But I don't know but what pie is more stimulating to the fancy. I never saw anything like meat-pie to make ye dream.”
“Here’s my desk,” said Kinney, pointing to a barrel that held up a broad, smooth board. “This is where I create my favorite pieces.” He turned around and cut a chunk out of a huge mass of dough in a tin trough, which he threw on his table and attacked with a rolling pin. “That means pie, Mr. Hubbard,” he explained, “and pie means meat pie—or squash pie, if necessary. Today’s pie-baking day. But you don’t need to worry about that. Tomorrow is too, and yesterday was. Pie twenty-one times a week is the deal, and don’t forget it. They say old Agassiz,” Kinney continued, in that relaxed, familiar way our people like to talk about greatness that captivates their imagination—“they say old Agassiz recommended fish as the best food for the brain. Well, I guess that might be true. But I think pie is even more inspiring for the imagination. I never saw anything like meat pie to make you dream.”
“Yes,” said Bartley, nodding gloomily, “I've tried it.”
“Yes,” Bartley said, nodding sadly, “I’ve tried it.”
Kinney laughed. “Well, I guess folks of sedentary pursuits, like you and me, don't need it; but these fellows that stamp round in the snow all day, they want something to keep their imagination goin'. And I guess pie does it. Anyway, they can't seem to get enough of it. Ever try apples when you was at work? They say old Greeley kep' his desk full of 'em; kep' munchin' away all the while when he was writin' his editorials. And one of them German poets—I don't know but what it was old Gutty himself—kept rotten ones in his drawer; liked the smell of 'em. Well, there's a good deal of apple in meat-pie. May be it's the apple that does it. I don't know. But I guess if your pursuits are sedentary, you better take the apple separate.”
Kinney laughed. “Well, I guess people like you and me, who lead a more inactive lifestyle, don’t really need it; but those guys who are out stomping around in the snow all day, they need something to fuel their imagination. And I think pie does just that. Anyway, they can’t seem to get enough of it. Ever tried eating apples while you were working? They say old Greeley kept his desk stocked with them; he’d be munching away while writing his editorials. And one of those German poets—I think it was Gutty himself—kept rotten ones in his drawer; he liked the smell of them. Well, there’s a good bit of apple in meat pie. Maybe it’s the apple that makes the difference. I don’t know. But I guess if your lifestyle is sedentary, it’s better to enjoy the apple on its own.”
Bartley did not say anything; but he kept a lazily interested eye on Kinney as he rolled out his piecrust, fitted it into his tins, filled these from a jar of mince-meat, covered them with a sheet of dough pierced in herring-bone pattern, and marshalled them at one side ready for the oven.
Bartley didn't say anything; he just kept a casually interested eye on Kinney as he rolled out his pie crust, pressed it into the tins, filled them with mince meat from a jar, covered them with a sheet of dough poked with a herringbone pattern, and set them aside, ready for the oven.
“If fish is any better for the brain,” Kinney proceeded, “they can't complain of any want of it, at least in the salted form. They get fish-balls three times a week for breakfast, as reg'lar as Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday comes round. And Fridays I make up a sort of chowder for the Kanucks; they're Catholics, you know, and I don't believe in interferin' with any man's religion, it don't matter what it is.”
“If fish is any better for the brain,” Kinney continued, “then they can’t complain about not having enough of it, at least in the salted form. They have fish balls three times a week for breakfast, as regular as Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday come around. And on Fridays, I whip up a kind of chowder for the Canadians; they're Catholics, you know, and I don’t believe in interfering with any man's religion, it doesn’t matter what it is.”
“You ought to be a deacon in the First Church at Equity,” said Bartley.
“You should be a deacon in the First Church at Equity,” Bartley said.
“Is that so? Why?” asked Kinney.
“Is that so? Why?” Kinney asked.
“Oh, they don't believe in interfering with any man's religion, either.”
“Oh, they don't believe in interfering with anyone's religion, either.”
“Well,” said Kinney, thoughtfully, pausing with the rolling-pin in his hand, “there 'a such a thing as being too liberal, I suppose.”
“Well,” said Kinney, thoughtfully, pausing with the rolling pin in his hand, “there's such a thing as being too generous, I suppose.”
“The world's tried the other thing a good while,” said Bartley, with cynical amusement at Kinney's arrest.
“The world has tried the other thing for quite a while,” said Bartley, with a cynical amusement at Kinney's arrest.
It seemed to chill the flow of the good fellow's optimism, so that he assented with but lukewarm satisfaction.
It seemed to dampen the good guy's optimism, so he agreed with only a slight sense of satisfaction.
“Well, that's so, too,” and he made up the rest of his pies in silence.
“Well, that's true,” and he finished making the rest of his pies in silence.
“Well,” he exclaimed at last, as if shaking himself out of an unpleasant reverie, “I guess we shall get along, somehow. Do you like pork and beans?”
“Well,” he said finally, as if snapping out of a bad daydream, “I guess we’ll manage, somehow. Do you like pork and beans?”
“Yes, I do,” said Bartley.
“Yeah, I do,” said Bartley.
“We're goin' to have 'em for dinner. You can hit beans any meal you drop in on us; beans twenty-one times a week, just like pie. Set 'em in to warm,” he said, taking up a capacious earthen pot, near the stove, and putting it into the oven. “I been pretty much everywheres, and I don't know as I found anything for a stand-by that come up to beans. I'm goin' to give 'em potatoes and cabbage to-day,—kind of a boiled-dinner day,—but you'll see there aint one in ten 'll touch 'em to what there will these old residenters. Potatoes and cabbage'll do for a kind of a delicacy,—sort of a side-dish,—on-tree, you know; but give 'em beans for a steady diet. Why, off there in Chili, even, the people regularly live on beans,—not exactly like ours,—broad and flat,—but they're beans. Wa'n't there some those ancients—old Horace, or Virgil, may be—rung in something about beans in some their poems?”
“We're having them for dinner. You can have beans any time you come by; beans twenty-one times a week, just like pie. Set them in to warm,” he said, grabbing a big earthen pot from near the stove and putting it into the oven. “I've been pretty much everywhere, and I haven't found anything that can match beans as a staple. I’m going to serve them with potatoes and cabbage today—a kind of boiled dinner day—but you’ll see that not even one in ten will touch those compared to these old regulars. Potatoes and cabbage will work as a side dish—a sort of delicacy—but give them beans for a steady diet. Why, even over in Chile, people regularly live on beans—not exactly like ours—broad and flat—but they’re beans. Wasn't there something from those ancients—old Horace, or maybe Virgil—that mentioned beans in some of their poems?”
“I don't remember anything of the kind,” said Bartley, languidly.
“I don't recall anything like that,” said Bartley, wearily.
“Well, I don't know as I can. I just have a dim recollection of language thrown out at the object,—as old Matthew Arnold says. But it might have been something in Emerson.”
“Well, I don't know if I can. I just have a vague memory of language aimed at the object, as old Matthew Arnold says. But it might have been something by Emerson.”
Bartley laughed “I didn't suppose you were such a reader, Kinney.”
Bartley laughed, "I didn't think you were such a reader, Kinney."
“Oh, I nibble round wherever I can get a chance. Mostly in the newspapers, you know. I don't get any time for books, as a general rule. But there's pretty much everything in the papers. I should call beans a brain food.”
“Oh, I snack wherever I get the chance. Mostly in the newspapers, you know. I don’t usually have time for books. But there’s pretty much everything in the papers. I’d say beans are brain food.”
“I guess you call anything a brain food that you happen to like, don't you, Kinney?”
“I guess you call anything a brain food that you like, right, Kinney?”
“No, sir,” said Kinney, soberly; “but I like to see the philosophy of a thing when I get a chance. Now, there's tea, for example,” he said, pointing to the great tin pot on the stove.
“No, sir,” Kinney replied seriously, “but I like to understand the reasoning behind things when I can. Take tea, for example,” he said, pointing to the large tin pot on the stove.
“Coffee, you mean,” said Bartley.
"Coffee, right?" said Bartley.
“No, sir, I mean tea. That's tea; and I give it to 'em three times a day, good and strong,—molasses in it, and no milk. That's a brain food, if ever there was one. Sets 'em up, right on end, every time. Clears their heads and keeps the cold out.”
“No, sir, I mean tea. That's tea; and I give it to them three times a day, good and strong—with molasses in it, and no milk. That's brain food, if there ever was one. It perks them up, right away, every time. Clears their heads and keeps the cold out.”
“I should think you were running a seminary for young ladies, instead of a logging-camp,” said Bartley.
“I would think you were running a school for young women, instead of a logging camp,” said Bartley.
“No, but look at it: I'm in earnest about tea. You look at the tea drinkers and the coffee-drinkers all the world over! Look at 'em in our own country! All the Northern people and all the go-ahead people drink tea. The Pennsylvanians and the Southerners drink coffee. Why our New England folks don't even know how to make coffee so it's fit to drink! And it's just so all over Europe. The Russians drink tea, and they'd e't up those coffee-drinkin' Turks long ago, if the tea-drinkin' English hadn't kept 'em from it. Go anywheres you like in the North, and you find 'em drinkin' tea. The Swedes and Norwegians in Aroostook County drink it; and they drink it at home.”
“No, but look at this: I'm serious about tea. Just look at tea drinkers and coffee drinkers all over the world! Check them out in our own country! All the Northern folks and the ambitious people drink tea. The Pennsylvanians and Southerners go for coffee. Our New England people don’t even know how to make coffee that’s drinkable! And it's the same across Europe. The Russians drink tea, and they would have taken down those coffee-drinking Turks long ago if the tea-drinking English hadn't stopped them. Go anywhere you want in the North, and you’ll find people drinking tea. The Swedes and Norwegians in Aroostook County drink it, and they enjoy it at home.”
“Well, what do you think of the French and Germans? They drink coffee, and they're pretty smart, active people, too.”
“Well, what do you think about the French and Germans? They drink coffee, and they're pretty smart, active people, too.”
“French and Germans drink coffee?”
“Do the French and Germans drink coffee?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah.”
Kinney stopped short in his heated career of generalization, and scratched his shaggy head. “Well,” he said, finally, “I guess they're a kind of a missing link, as old Darwin says.” He joined Bartley in his laugh cordially, and looked up at the round clock nailed to a log. “It's about time I set my tables, anyway. Well,” he asked, apparently to keep the conversation from flagging, while he went about this work, “how is the good old Free Press getting along?”
Kinney paused in his intense stream of generalization and scratched his messy hair. “Well,” he finally said, “I guess they’re sort of a missing link, like old Darwin says.” He laughed warmly with Bartley and glanced up at the round clock mounted on a log. “I should probably start setting my tables. So,” he asked, seemingly to keep the chat going while he worked, “how’s the good old Free Press doing?”
“It's going to get along without me from this out,” said Bartley. “This is my last week in Equity.”
“It's going to manage without me from now on,” said Bartley. “This is my last week in Equity.”
“No!” retorted Kinney, in tremendous astonishment.
“ No!” Kinney replied in shock.
“Yes; I'm off at the end of the week. Squire Gaylord takes the paper back for the committee, and I suppose Henry Bird will run it for a while; or perhaps they'll stop it altogether. It's been a losing business for the committee.”
“Yes; I’m leaving at the end of the week. Squire Gaylord is taking the paper back for the committee, and I guess Henry Bird will manage it for a bit; or maybe they’ll just discontinue it entirely. It’s been a losing venture for the committee.”
“Why, I thought you'd bought it of 'em.”
“Why, I thought you bought it from them.”
“Well, that's what I expected to do; but the office hasn't made any money. All that I've saved is in my colt and cutter.”
“Well, that's what I thought I would do; but the office hasn't brought in any money. Everything I've saved is in my horse and carriage.”
“That sorrel?”
"Is that sorrel?"
Bartley nodded. “I'm going away about as poor as I came. I couldn't go much poorer.”
Bartley nodded. “I’m leaving just as broke as I arrived. I couldn’t get much poorer.”
“Well!” said Kinney, in the exhaustion of adequate language. He went on laying the plates and knives and forks in silence. These were of undisguised steel; the dishes and the drinking mugs were of that dense and heavy make which the keepers of cheap restaurants use to protect themselves against breakage, and which their servants chip to the quick at every edge. Kinney laid bread and crackers by each plate, and on each he placed a vast slab of cold corned beef. Then he lifted the lid of the pot in which the cabbage and potatoes were boiling together, and pricked them with a fork. He dished up the beans in a succession of deep tins, and set them at intervals along the tables, and began to talk again. “Well, now, I'm sorry. I'd just begun to feel real well acquainted with you. Tell you the truth, I didn't take much of a fancy to you, first off.”
“Well!” said Kinney, out of words. He continued setting the plates, knives, and forks in silence. The utensils were clearly made of steel; the dishes and mugs were the heavy, durable kind that cheap restaurants use to avoid breakage, and their staff often chip at the edges. Kinney placed bread and crackers by each plate, and on each, he put a big piece of cold corned beef. Then he lifted the lid of the pot where the cabbage and potatoes were boiling together and poked them with a fork. He portioned the beans into deep tins, arranged them along the tables, and started talking again. “Well, now, I’m sorry. I was just starting to feel really familiar with you. To be honest, I didn’t take much of a liking to you at first.”
“Is that so?” asked Bartley, not much disturbed by the confession.
“Is that so?” Bartley asked, not very troubled by the confession.
“Yes, sir. Well, come to boil it down,” said Kinney, with the frankness of the analytical mind that disdains to spare itself in the pursuit of truth, “I didn't like your good clothes. I don't suppose I ever had a suit of clothes to fit me. Feel kind of ashamed, you know, when I go into the store, and take the first thing the Jew wants to put off on to me. Now, I suppose you go to Macullar and Parker's in Boston, and you get what you want.”
“Yes, sir. To put it simply,” said Kinney, with the straightforwardness of someone who won’t hold back in search of the truth, “I didn’t like your nice clothes. I guess I’ve never had a suit that actually fits me. It makes me feel a bit embarrassed, you know, when I walk into the store and just take whatever the salesman wants to push on me. Now, I’m sure you go to Macullar and Parker's in Boston and get exactly what you want.”
“No; I have my measure at a tailor's,” said Bartley, with ill-concealed pride in the fact.
“No; I have my measurements at a tailor's,” Bartley said, barely hiding his pride in that.
“You don't say so!” exclaimed Kinney. “Well!” he said, as if he might as well swallow this pill, too, while he was about it. “Well, what's the use? I never was the figure for clothes, anyway. Long, gangling boy to start with, and a lean, stoop-shouldered man. I found out some time ago that a fellow wa'n't necessarily a bad fellow because he had money, or a good fellow because he hadn't. But I hadn't quite got over hating a man because he had style. Well, I suppose it was a kind of a survival, as old Tylor calls it. But I tell you, I sniffed round you a good while before I made up my mind to swallow you. And that turnout of yours, it kind of staggered me, after I got over the clothes. Why, it wa'n't so much the colt,—any man likes to ride after a sorrel colt; and it wa'n't so much the cutter: it was the red linin' with pinked edges that you had to your robe; and it was the red ribbon that you had tied round the waist of your whip. When I see that ribbon on that whip, damn you, I wanted to kill you.” Bartley broke out into a laugh, but Kinney went on soberly. “But, thinks I to myself: 'Here! Now you stop right here! You wait! You give the fellow a chance for his life. Let him have a chance to show whether that whip-ribbon goes all through him, first. If it does, kill him cheerfully; but give him a chance first.' Well, sir, I gave you the chance, and you showed that you deserved it. I guess you taught me a lesson. When I see you at work, pegging away hard at something or other, every time I went into your office, up and coming with everybody, and just as ready to pass the time of day with me as the biggest bug in town, thinks I: 'You'd have made a great mistake to kill that fellow, Kinney!' And I just made up my mind to like you.”
“You don’t say!” Kinney exclaimed. “Well!” he said, as if he might as well accept this situation too. “What’s the point? I never really had the look for fancy clothes anyway. I started off as a tall, awkward boy and turned into a skinny, hunched-over man. Some time ago, I realized that a guy wasn’t necessarily a bad person just because he had money, or a good person just because he didn’t. But I still hadn’t completely gotten over resenting a guy just because he had style. I guess it was a sort of survival, like old Tylor calls it. But I tell you, I circled around you for a while before I decided to accept you. And that getup of yours, it really took me by surprise, once I got past the clothes. It wasn't just the colt—any guy likes to ride a sorrel colt; and it wasn't just the cutter: it was the red lining with pinked edges on your robe, and the red ribbon tied around the waist of your whip. When I saw that ribbon on that whip, damn you, I felt like I wanted to kill you.” Bartley burst into laughter, but Kinney continued seriously. “But then I thought to myself: 'Hold on! Just wait! Give the guy a chance to prove himself. Let him show whether that whip ribbon reflects who he is, first. If it does, then go for it; but give him a chance first.' Well, I did give you that chance, and you showed you deserved it. I guess you taught me a lesson. Every time I walked into your office, seeing you working hard at something, moving up and connecting with everyone, and just as eager to chat with me as the most important guy in town, I thought: 'You would have made a big mistake if you’d killed that guy, Kinney!' And I decided to like you.”
“Thanks,” said Bartley, with ironical gratitude.
“Thanks,” said Bartley, with sarcastic gratitude.
Kinney did not speak at once. He whistled thoughtfully through his teeth, and then he said: “I'll tell you what: if you're going away very poor, I know a wealthy chap you can raise a loan out of.”
Kinney didn't respond immediately. He whistled thoughtfully through his teeth, and then he said, “Here’s the deal: if you’re leaving really broke, I know a rich guy who can lend you money.”
Bartley thought seriously for a silent moment. “If your friend offers me twenty dollars, I'm not too well dressed to take it.”
Bartley thought quietly for a moment. “If your friend gives me twenty bucks, I'm not too proud to take it.”
“All right,” said Kinney. He now dished up the cabbage and potatoes, and throwing a fresh handful of tea into the pot, and filling it up with water, he took down a tin horn, with which he went to the door and sounded a long, stertorous note.
“Okay,” said Kinney. He then served up the cabbage and potatoes, tossed a fresh handful of tea into the pot, filled it with water, grabbed a tin horn, went to the door, and blew a long, heavy note.
X.
“Guess it was the clothes again,” said Kinney, as he began to wash his tins and dishes after the dinner was over, and the men had gone back to their work. “I could see 'em eyin' you over when they first came in, and I could see that they didn't exactly like the looks of 'em. It would wear off in time, but it takes time for it to wear off; and it had to go pretty rusty for a start-off. Well, I don't know as it makes much difference to you, does it?”
“Guess it was the clothes again,” Kinney said as he started washing his cans and dishes after dinner was done and the guys had gone back to their work. “I noticed them checking you out when they first walked in, and it was clear they weren’t too fond of what they saw. It would fade over time, but it takes time for that to happen; and it had to start off pretty rough. Well, I don’t think it really matters to you, does it?”
“Oh, I thought we got along very well,” said Bartley, with a careless yawn. “There wasn't much chance to get acquainted.” Some of the loggers were as handsome and well-made as he, and were of as good origin and traditions, though he had some advantages of training. But his two-button cutaway, his well-fitting trousers, his scarf with a pin in it, had been too much for these young fellows in their long 'stoga boots and flannel shirts. They looked at him askance, and despatched their meal with more than their wonted swiftness, and were off again into the woods without any demonstrations of satisfaction in Bartley's presence.
“Oh, I thought we got along really well,” said Bartley, yawning casually. “We didn’t have much chance to get to know each other.” Some of the loggers were just as good-looking and well-built as he was, and had similar backgrounds and traditions, though he had some advantages in training. But his two-button cutaway jacket, his well-fitted pants, and his scarf with a pin impressed these young guys in their long 'stoga boots and flannel shirts a bit too much. They looked at him sideways, rushed through their meal faster than usual, and headed back into the woods without showing any signs of enjoyment at being around Bartley.
He had perceived their grudge, for he had felt it in his time. But it did not displease him; he had none of the pain with which Kinney, who had so long bragged of him to the loggers, saw that his guest was a failure.
He noticed their resentment, as he had experienced it himself in the past. But it didn't bother him; he didn't share the pain that Kinney felt, who had long boasted about him to the loggers and recognized that his guest was a disappointment.
“I guess they'll come out all right in the end,” he said. In this warm atmosphere, after the gross and heavy dinner he had eaten, he yawned again and again. He folded his overcoat into a pillow for his bench and lay down, and lazily watched Kinney about his work. Presently he saw Kinney seated on a block of wood beside the stove, with his elbow propped in one hand, and holding a magazine, out of which he was reading; he wore spectacles, which gave him a fresh and interesting touch of grotesqueness. Bartley found that an empty barrel had been placed on each side of him, evidently to keep him from rolling off his bench.
“I guess they'll turn out fine in the end,” he said. In this warm setting, after the heavy dinner he had eaten, he yawned repeatedly. He folded his overcoat into a pillow for the bench and lay down, lazily watching Kinney as he worked. Soon, he saw Kinney sitting on a block of wood next to the stove, with his elbow propped up on one hand, reading from a magazine; he wore glasses, which gave him an amusing and interesting touch of oddness. Bartley noticed that an empty barrel had been placed on each side of him, clearly to keep him from rolling off his bench.
“Hello!” he said. “Much obliged to you, Kinney. I haven't been taken such good care of since I can remember. Been asleep, haven't I?”
“Hi!” he said. “Thanks a lot, Kinney. I haven't been taken care of this well in a long time. I've been asleep, haven’t I?”
“About an hour,” said Kinney, with a glance at the clock, and ignoring his agency in Bartley's comfort.
“About an hour,” Kinney said, glancing at the clock and brushing off his role in Bartley's comfort.
“Food for the brain!” said Bartley, sitting up. “I should think so. I've dreamt a perfect New American Cyclopaedia, and a pronouncing gazetteer thrown in.”
“Food for the brain!” Bartley exclaimed as he sat up. “I would think so. I’ve dreamed up a complete New American Encyclopedia, with a pronunciation guide included.”
“Is that so?” said Kinney, as if pleased with the suggestive character of his cookery, now established by eminent experiment.
“Is that so?” Kinney said, sounding pleased with the suggestive nature of his cooking, now confirmed by notable experiments.
Bartley yawned a yawn of satisfied sleepiness, and rubbed his hand over his face. “I suppose,” he said, “if I'm going to write anything about Camp Kinney, I had better see all there is to see.”
Bartley yawned a satisfying yawn and rubbed his hand over his face. “I guess,” he said, “if I'm going to write anything about Camp Kinney, I should check out everything there is to see.”
“Well, yes, I presume you had,” said Kinney. “We'll go over to where they're cuttin', pretty soon, and you can see all there is in an hour. But I presume you'll want to see it so as to ring in some description, hey? Well, that's all right. But what you going to do with it, when you've done it, now you're out of the Free Press?”
“Well, yes, I guess you did,” Kinney said. “We'll head over to where they're cutting pretty soon, and you can see everything there is to see in an hour. But I imagine you'll want to check it out so you can write some descriptions, right? That's fine. But what are you going to do with it once you’ve done that, now that you're no longer with the Free Press?”
“Oh, I shouldn't have printed it in the Free Press, anyway Coals to Newcastle, you know. I'll tell you what I think I'll do, Kinney: I'll get my outlines, and then you post me with a lot of facts,—queer characters, accidents, romantic incidents, snowings-up, threatened starvation, adventures with wild animals,—and I can make something worth while; get out two or three columns, so they can print it in their Sunday edition. And then I'll take it up to Boston with me, and seek my fortune with it.”
“Oh, I shouldn't have printed it in the Free Press anyway, just like bringing coals to Newcastle, you know. Here’s the plan, Kinney: I'll prepare my outlines, and then you send me a bunch of facts—strange characters, mishaps, romantic moments, being snowed in, near-starvation, adventures with wild animals—and I can create something valuable; produce two or three columns so they can print it in their Sunday edition. Then I'll take it to Boston with me and try to make my fortune with it.”
“Well, sir, I'll do it,” said Kinney, fired with the poetry of the idea. “I'll post you! Dumn 'f I don't wish I could write! Well, I did use to scribble once for an agricultural paper; but I don't call that writin'. I've set down, well, I guess as much as sixty times, to try to write out what I know about loggin'—”
“Well, sir, I’ll do it,” said Kinney, excited by the inspiration of the idea. “I’ll send it to you! Honestly, I wish I could write! Well, I did used to write a bit for an agricultural newspaper; but I don’t consider that real writing. I’ve sat down, well, I guess as many as sixty times, trying to write out what I know about logging—”
“Hold on!” cried Bartley, whipping out his notebook. “That's first-rate. That'll do for the first line in the head,—What I Know About Logging,—large caps. Well!”
“Wait a minute!” Bartley shouted, pulling out his notebook. “That's excellent. That'll be the first line of the headline,—What I Know About Logging,—in big letters. Great!”
Kinney shut his magazine, and took his knee between his hands, closing one of his eyes in order to sharpen his recollection. He poured forth a stream of reminiscence, mingled observation, and personal experience. Bartley followed him with his pencil, jotting down points, striking in sub-head lines, and now and then interrupting him with cries of “Good!” “Capital!” “It's a perfect mine,—it's a mint! By Jove!” he exclaimed, “I'll make six columns of this! I'll offer it to one of the magazines, and it'll come out illustrated! Go on, Kinney.”
Kinney closed his magazine and placed his knee between his hands, shutting one eye to focus better on his memories. He started sharing a flow of stories, observations, and personal experiences. Bartley kept up with him, taking notes, adding subheadings, and occasionally interrupting with exclamations of “Awesome!” “Great!” “This is a goldmine—it's amazing! Wow!” he said, “I’ll turn this into six columns! I’ll pitch it to one of the magazines, and it’ll get illustrated! Keep going, Kinney.”
“Hark!” said Kinney, craning his neck forward to listen. “I thought I heard sleigh-bells. But I guess it wa'n't. Well, sir, as I was sayin', they fetched that fellow into camp with both feet frozen to the knees—Dumn 'f it wa'n't bells!”
“Hey!” said Kinney, leaning forward to listen. “I thought I heard sleigh bells. But I guess it wasn’t. Anyway, as I was saying, they brought that guy into camp with both feet frozen to the knees—Damn if it wasn’t bells!”
He unlimbered himself, and hurried to the door at the other end of the cabin, which he opened, letting in a clear block of the afternoon sunshine, and a gush of sleigh-bell music, shot with men's voices, and the cries and laughter of women.
He got up and quickly went to the door at the other end of the cabin. He opened it, letting in a bright beam of afternoon sunlight and a rush of sleigh-bell sounds, mixed with men's voices and the shouts and laughter of women.
“Well, sir,” said Kinney, coming back and making haste to roll down his sleeves and put on his coat. “Here's a nuisance! A whole party of folks—two sleigh-loads—right on us. I don't know who they be, or where they're from. But I know where I wish they was. Well, of course, it's natural they should want to see a loggin'-camp,” added Kinney, taking himself to task for his inhospitable mind, “and there ain't any harm in it. But I wish they'd give a fellow a little notice!”
“Well, sir,” said Kinney, coming back and quickly rolling down his sleeves and putting on his coat. “Here is a hassle! A whole group of people—two sleigh-loads—right on us. I don't know who they are, or where they're from. But I know where I wish they were. Well, of course, it makes sense they’d want to see a logging camp,” added Kinney, chastising himself for his unwelcoming thoughts, “and there’s nothing wrong with it. But I wish they’d give a guy a little notice!”
The voices and bells drew nearer, but Kinney seemed resolved to observe the decorum of not going to the door till some one knocked.
The voices and bells grew louder, but Kinney appeared determined to stick to the etiquette of not answering the door until someone knocked.
“Kinney! Kinney! Hello, Kinney!” shouted a man's voice, as the bells hushed before the door, and broke into a musical clash when one of the horses tossed his head.
“Kinney! Kinney! Hey, Kinney!” shouted a man's voice, as the bells went quiet before the door, then erupted in a musical clash when one of the horses tossed its head.
“Well, sir,” said Kinney, rising, “I guess it's old Willett himself. He's the owner; lives up to Portland, and been threatening to come down here all winter, with a party of friends. You just stay still,” he added; and he paid himself the deference which every true American owes himself in his dealings with his employer: he went to the door very deliberately, and made no haste on account of the repeated cries of “Kinney! Kinney!” in which others of the party outside now joined.
“Well, sir,” said Kinney, standing up, “I think it's old Willett himself. He's the owner; he lives up in Portland and has been planning to come down here all winter with a group of friends. Just sit tight,” he added; and he gave himself the respect that every true American gives themselves in their interactions with their boss: he walked to the door very slowly, ignoring the repeated calls of “Kinney! Kinney!” that others in the group outside were now joining in on.
When he opened the door again, the first voice saluted him with a roar of laughter. “Why, Kinney, I began to think you were dead!”
When he opened the door again, the first voice greeted him with a burst of laughter. “Wow, Kinney, I was starting to think you were dead!”
“No, sir,” Bartley heard Kinney reply, “it takes more to kill me than you suppose.” But now he stepped outside, and the talk became unintelligible.
“No, sir,” Bartley heard Kinney respond, “it takes more to take me down than you think.” But now he stepped outside, and the conversation became unclear.
Finally Bartley heard what was imaginably Mr. Willett's voice saying, “Well, let's go in and have a look at it now”; and with much outcry and laughter the ladies were invisibly helped to dismount, and presently the whole party came stamping and rustling in.
Finally, Bartley heard what was probably Mr. Willett's voice saying, “Well, let’s go in and check it out now,” and with a lot of commotion and laughter, the ladies were discreetly helped to get down. Soon, the whole group came marching and shuffling in.
Bartley's blood tingled. He liked this, and he stood quite self-possessed, with his thumbs in his waistcoat pockets and his elbows dropped, while Mr. Willett advanced in a friendly way.
Bartley's blood tingled. He enjoyed this, and he stood confidently with his thumbs in his waistcoat pockets and his elbows relaxed, as Mr. Willett approached in a friendly manner.
“Ah, Mr. Hubbard! Kinney told us you were in here, and asked me to introduce myself while he looked after the horses. My name's Willett. These are my daughters; this is Mrs. Macallister, of Montreal; Mrs. Witherby, of Boston; Miss Witherby, and Mr. Witherby. You ought to know each other; Mr. Hubbard is the editor of the Equity Free Press. Mr. Witherby, of The Boston Events, Mr. Hubbard. Oh, and Mr. Macallister.”
“Hey, Mr. Hubbard! Kinney mentioned you were here and asked me to introduce myself while he took care of the horses. I'm Willett. These are my daughters; this is Mrs. Macallister from Montreal, Mrs. Witherby from Boston, Miss Witherby, and Mr. Witherby. You should know each other; Mr. Hubbard is the editor of the Equity Free Press. Mr. Witherby from The Boston Events, Mr. Hubbard. Oh, and Mr. Macallister.”
Bartley bowed to the Willett and Witherby ladies, and shook hands with Mr. Witherby, a large, solemn man, with a purse-mouth and tight rings of white hair, who treated him with the pomp inevitable to the owner of a city newspaper in meeting a country editor.
Bartley nodded to the Willett and Witherby ladies and shook hands with Mr. Witherby, a big, serious man with a tight mouth and neat white rings of hair, who interacted with him with the kind of importance that always comes from the owner of a city newspaper when meeting a country editor.
At the mention of his name, Mr. Macallister, a slight little straight man, in a long ulster and a sealskin cap, tiddled farcically forward on his toes, and, giving Bartley his hand, said, “Ah, haow d'e-do, haow d'e-do!”
At the mention of his name, Mr. Macallister, a slight, straight little man in a long coat and a fur cap, pretended to walk on his toes in a comical way, and, shaking Bartley’s hand, said, “Ah, how do you do, how do you do!”
Mrs. Macallister fixed upon him the eye of the flirt who knows her man. She was of the dark-eyed English type; her eyes were very large and full, and her smooth black hair was drawn flatly backward, and fastened in a knot just under her dashing fur cap. She wore a fur sack, and she was equipped against the cold as exquisitely as her Southern sisters defend themselves from the summer. Bits of warm color, in ribbon and scarf, flashed out here and there; when she flung open her sack, she showed herself much more lavishly buttoned and bugled and bangled than the Americans. She sat clown on the movable bench which Bartley had vacated, and crossed her feet, very small and saucy, even in their arctics, on a stick of fire-wood, and cast up her neat profile, and rapidly made eyes at every part of the interior. “Why, it's delicious, you know. I never saw anything so comfortable. I want to spend the rest of me life here, you know.” She spoke very far down in her throat, and with a rising inflection in each sentence. “I'm going to have a quarrel with you, Mr. Willett, for not telling me what a delightful surprise you had for us here. Oh, but I'd no idea of it, I assure you!”
Mrs. Macallister fixed her flirty gaze on him, the kind that knows how to get a man's attention. She had that dark-eyed English look; her eyes were big and expressive, and her smooth black hair was slicked back and tied in a knot just under her stylish fur cap. She wore a fur coat and dressed for the cold just as elegantly as her Southern counterparts do for summer. Pops of warm color from her ribbons and scarf stood out here and there; when she opened her coat, it revealed that she was dressed more extravagantly with buttons, embellishments, and bangles than the Americans. She sat down on the movable bench Bartley had just left, crossing her small and playful feet—even in their winter boots—on a piece of firewood, showing off her neat profile and casting flirty looks around the interior. “Wow, it's just lovely here, you know. I've never seen anything so comfortable. I want to spend the rest of my life here, you know.” She spoke with a deep voice and a rising tone in each sentence. “I'm going to have to scold you, Mr. Willett, for not telling me about this delightful surprise you had for us. Oh, I had no idea, I promise!”
“Well, I'm glad you like it, Mrs. Macallister,” said Mr. Willett, with the clumsiness of American middle-age when summoned to say something gallant. “If I'd told you what a surprise I had for you, it wouldn't have been one.”
“Well, I'm glad you like it, Mrs. Macallister,” said Mr. Willett, awkwardly trying to sound charming, typical of American middle-aged men. “If I had told you what surprise I had for you, it wouldn't have been a surprise.”
“Oh, it's no good your trying to get out of it that way,” retorted the beauty. “There he comes now! I'm really in love with him, you know,” she said, as Kinney opened the door and came hulking forward.
“Oh, it's pointless to try to get out of it that way,” the beauty shot back. “Here he comes now! I'm really in love with him, you know,” she said, as Kinney opened the door and came walking in.
Nobody said anything at once, but Bartley laughed finally, and ventured, “Well, I'll propose for you to Kinney.”
Nobody spoke right away, but Bartley eventually laughed and said, “Alright, I’ll put in a good word for you with Kinney.”
“Oh, I dare say!” cried the beauty, with a lively effort of wit. “Mr. Kinney, I have fallen in love with your camp, d' ye know?” she added, as Kinney drew near, “and I'm beggin' Mr. Willett to let me come and live here among you.”
“Oh, I must say!” exclaimed the beauty, with a spirited attempt at humor. “Mr. Kinney, I’ve fallen in love with your camp, you know?” she added, as Kinney approached, “and I’m asking Mr. Willett to let me come and live here with you all.”
“Well, ma'am,” said Kinney, a little abashed at this proposition, “you couldn't do a better thing for your health, I guess.”
“Well, ma'am,” said Kinney, a bit embarrassed by this suggestion, “you couldn't do anything better for your health, I guess.”
The proprietor of The Boston Events turned about, and began to look over the arrangements of the interior; the other ladies went with him, conversing, in low tones. “These must be the places where the men sleep,” they said, gazing at the bunks.
The owner of The Boston Events turned around and started checking out the setup inside. The other women followed him, speaking quietly. “These must be the spots where the guys sleep,” they said, looking at the beds.
“We must get Kinney to explain things to us,” said Mr. Willett a little restlessly.
“We need to get Kinney to explain things to us,” said Mr. Willett, sounding a bit restless.
Mrs. Macallister jumped briskly to her feet. “Oh, yes, do, Mr. Willett, make him explain everything! I've been tryin' to coax it out of him, but he's such a tease!”
Mrs. Macallister jumped up quickly. “Oh, yes, please do, Mr. Willett, have him explain everything! I've been trying to get it out of him, but he's such a tease!”
Kinney looked very sheepish in this character, and Mrs. Macallister hooked Bartley to her side for the tour of the interior. “I can't let you away from me, Mr. Hubbard; your friend's so satirical, I'm afraid of him. Only fancy, Mr. Willett! He's been talkin' to me about brain foods! I know he's makin' fun of me; and it isn't kind, is it, Mr. Hubbard?”
Kinney looked really embarrassed in this situation, and Mrs. Macallister pulled Bartley to her side for the tour inside. “I can’t let you get away from me, Mr. Hubbard; your friend is so sarcastic, I’m worried about him. Just imagine, Mr. Willett! He’s been talking to me about brain foods! I know he’s making fun of me; and it’s not nice, is it, Mr. Hubbard?”
She did not give the least notice to the things that the others looked at, or to Kinney's modest lecture upon the manners and customs of the loggers. She kept a little apart with Bartley, and plied him with bravadoes, with pouts, with little cries of suspense. In the midst of this he heard Mr. Willett saying, “You ought to get some one to come and write about this for your paper, Witherby.” But Mrs. Macallister was also saying something, with a significant turn of her floating eyes, and the thing that concerned Bartley, if he were to make his way among the newspapers in Boston, slipped from his grasp like the idea which we try to seize in a dream. She made sure of him for the drive to the place which they visited to see the men felling the trees, by inviting him to a seat at her side in the sleigh; this crowded the others, but she insisted, and they all gave way, as people must, to the caprices of a pretty woman. Her coquetries united British wilfulness to American nonchalance, and seemed to have been graduated to the appreciation of garrison and St. Lawrence River steamboat and watering-place society. The Willett ladies had already found it necessary to explain to the Witherby ladies that they had met her the summer before at the sea-side, and that she had stopped at Portland on her way to England; they did not know her very well, but some friends of theirs did; and their father had asked her to come with them to the camp. They added that the Canadian ladies seemed to expect the gentlemen to be a great deal more attentive than ours were. They had known as little what to do with Mr. Macallister's small-talk and compliments as his wife's audacities, but they did not view Bartley's responsiveness with pleasure. If Mrs. Macallister's arts were not subtle, as Bartley even in the intoxication of her preference could not keep from seeing, still, in his mood, it was consoling to be singled out by her; it meant that even in a logging-camp he was recognizable by any person of fashion as a good-looking, well-dressed man of the world. It embittered him the more against Marcia, while, in some sort, it vindicated him to himself.
She didn't pay any attention to what the others were looking at or to Kinney's quiet talk about the habits and customs of the loggers. She stayed a bit apart with Bartley, teasing him with bravado, pouts, and little gasps of suspense. In the middle of this, he heard Mr. Willett say, “You should get someone to write about this for your paper, Witherby.” But Mrs. Macallister was also saying something, her eyes glancing meaningfully, and the opportunity that mattered to Bartley, if he wanted to succeed with the newspapers in Boston, slipped away like a thought we try to grasp in a dream. She secured him for the ride to see the men cutting down the trees by inviting him to sit beside her in the sleigh; this pushed the others closer together, but she insisted, and everyone obliged, as you must with the whims of a pretty woman. Her flirtations combined British stubbornness with American casualness, and seemed tailored for the tastes of garrison society and St. Lawrence River steamboats. The Willett ladies had already felt the need to explain to the Witherby ladies that they had met her the summer before at the beach, and that she had stopped in Portland on her way to England; they didn’t know her very well, but some of their friends did, and their father had invited her to join them at the camp. They added that the Canadian ladies seemed to expect the men to be much more attentive than ours were. They were just as confused by Mr. Macallister’s small talk and compliments as they were by his wife’s boldness, but they didn’t like Bartley’s eager responses. Even if Mrs. Macallister's charms weren’t subtle—which Bartley, despite being swept up in her attention, couldn’t help noticing—it was still flattering for him to be singled out by her; it meant that even in a logging camp, someone of taste recognized him as a good-looking, well-dressed man of the world. This made him even more resentful towards Marcia, while somehow justifying him in his own eyes.
The early winter sunset was beginning to tinge the snow with crimson, when the party started back to camp, where Kinney was to give them supper; he had it greatly on his conscience that they should have a good time, and he promoted it as far as hot mince-pie and newly fried doughnuts would go. He also opened a few canned goods, as he called some very exclusive sardines and peaches, and he made an entirely fresh pot of tea, and a pan of soda-biscuit. Mrs. Macallister made remarks across her plate which were for Bartley alone; and Kinney, who was seriously waiting upon his guests, refused to respond to Bartley's joking reference to himself of some questions and comments of hers.
The early winter sunset was starting to color the snow with a reddish hue when the group headed back to camp, where Kinney was set to serve them dinner. He felt a strong sense of responsibility to ensure they had a good time, and he did his best with hot mince pie and freshly fried doughnuts. He also opened a few cans, which he referred to as some fancy sardines and peaches, and he made a fresh pot of tea and a pan of soda biscuits. Mrs. Macallister made comments across her plate that were meant only for Bartley, while Kinney, who was seriously attending to his guests, ignored Bartley's teasing remark about some of her questions and comments.
After supper, when the loggers had withdrawn to the other end of the long hut, she called out to Kinney, “Oh, do tell them to smoke: we shall not mind it at all, I assure you. Can't some of them do something? Sing or dance?”
After dinner, when the loggers had moved to the other end of the long hut, she called out to Kinney, “Oh, please tell them to smoke: we won’t mind it at all, I promise you. Can’t some of them do something? Sing or dance?”
Kinney unbent a little at this. “There's a first-class clog-dancer among them; but he's a little stuck up, and I don't know as you could get him to dance,” he said in a low tone.
Kinney relaxed a bit at this. “There's a top-notch clog dancer among them; but he's kind of snooty, and I'm not sure you could get him to dance,” he said quietly.
“What a bloated aristocrat!” cried the lady. “Then the only thing is for us to dance first. Can they play?”
“What a pompous aristocrat!” the lady exclaimed. “Then the only thing to do is for us to dance first. Can they play?”
“One of 'em can whistle like a bird,—he can whistle like a whole band,” answered Kinney, warming. “And of course the Kanucks can fiddle.”
"One of them can whistle like a bird—he can whistle like an entire band," Kinney replied, getting excited. "And of course, the Canadians can play the fiddle."
“And what are Kanucks? Is that what you call us Canadians?”
“And what are Kanucks? Is that what you call us Canadians?”
“Well, ma'am, it aint quite the thing to do,” said Kinney, penitently.
“Well, ma'am, it isn't really appropriate,” said Kinney, regretfully.
“It isn't at all the thing to do! Which are the Kanucks?”
“It’s not the thing to do at all! Which ones are the Kanucks?”
She rose, and went forward with Kinney, in her spoiled way, and addressed a swarthy, gleaming-eyed young logger in French. He answered with a smile that showed all his white teeth, and turned to one of his comrades; then the two rose, and got violins out of the bunks, and came forward. Others of their race joined them, but the Yankees hung gloomily back; they clearly did not like these liberties, this patronage.
She got up and walked over with Kinney, in her spoiled manner, and spoke to a young logger with dark skin and bright eyes in French. He responded with a smile that revealed all his white teeth and turned to one of his friends; then the two of them got up, pulled out violins from the bunks, and came forward. Others like them joined in, but the Yankees stayed back gloomily; they clearly didn’t appreciate this familiarity, this sense of being treated like children.
“I shall have your clog-dancer on his feet yet, Mr. Kinney,” said Mrs. Macallister, as she came back to her place.
“I'll have your clog dancer on his feet yet, Mr. Kinney,” said Mrs. Macallister as she returned to her spot.
The Canadians began to play and sing those gay, gay airs of old France which they have kept unsaddened through all the dark events that have changed the popular mood of the mother country; they have matched words to them in celebration of their life on the great rivers and in the vast forests of the North, and in these blithe barcaroles and hunting-songs breathes the joyous spirit of a France that knows neither doubt nor care,—France untouched by Revolution or Napoleonic wars; some of the airs still keep the very words that came over seas with them two hundred years ago. The transition to the dance was quick and inevitable; a dozen slim young fellows were gliding about behind the players, pounding the hard earthen floor, and singing in time.
The Canadians began to play and sing those joyful songs from old France that they have manage to keep cheerful despite all the dark events that have changed the mood back home; they've added words to celebrate their life on the large rivers and in the vast forests of the North. In these lively boat songs and hunting tunes, there’s the joyful spirit of a France that knows no doubt or worry—France untouched by revolution or the Napoleonic wars; some of the tunes still carry the very words that came over from overseas two hundred years ago. The shift to dancing was quick and natural; a dozen slender young guys were gliding around behind the musicians, stomping on the hard earthen floor, and singing in rhythm.
“Oh, come, come!” cried the beauty, rising and stamping impatiently with her little foot, “suppose we dance, too.”
“Oh, come on!” exclaimed the beauty, standing up and tapping her little foot impatiently. “Let’s dance, too.”
She pulled Bartley forward by the hand; her husband followed with the taller Miss Willett; two of the Canadians, at the instance of Mrs. Macallister, came forward and politely asked the honor of the other young ladies' hands in the dance; their temper was infectious, and the cotillon was in full life before their partners had time to wonder at their consent. Mrs. Macallister could sing some of the Canadian songs; her voice, clear and fresh, rang through those of the men, while in at the window, thrown open for air, came the wild cries of the forest,—the wail of a catamount, and the solemn hooting of a distant owl.
She pulled Bartley forward by the hand; her husband followed with the taller Miss Willett. Two of the Canadians, at Mrs. Macallister's suggestion, stepped up and politely asked the other young ladies to dance. Their enthusiasm was contagious, and the cotillion was in full swing before anyone had time to question their agreement. Mrs. Macallister could sing some Canadian songs; her voice, clear and fresh, rang out above the men’s voices, while through the open window came the wild sounds of the forest—the wail of a mountain lion and the solemn hooting of a distant owl.
“Isn't it jolly good fun?” she demanded, when the figure was finished; and now Kinney went up to the first-class clog-dancer, and prevailed with him to show his skill. He seemed to comply on condition that the whistler should furnish the music; he came forward with a bashful hauteur, bridling stiffly like a girl, and struck into the laborious and monotonous jig which is, perhaps, our national dance. He was exquisitely shaped, and as he danced he suppled more and more, while the whistler warbled a wilder and swifter strain, and kept time with his hands. There was something that stirred the blood in the fury of the strain and dance. When it was done, Mrs. Macallister caught off her cap and ran round among the spectators to make them pay; she excused no one, and she gave the money to Kinney, telling him to get his loggers something to keep the cold out.
“Isn't this such great fun?” she asked when the figure was done; and now Kinney approached the top clog dancer and convinced him to show off his skills. He seemed willing, on the condition that the whistler would provide the music; he stepped forward with a shy pride, holding himself stiffly like a girl, and launched into the hard and repetitive jig that might be considered our national dance. He had a perfect build, and as he danced, he became more flexible, while the whistler sang a livelier and faster tune, keeping rhythm with his hands. There was something exhilarating in the intensity of the music and the dance. When it ended, Mrs. Macallister took off her cap and went around among the spectators to collect money; she didn’t excuse anyone, and then she handed the cash to Kinney, telling him to get his loggers something to keep warm.
“I should say whiskey, if I were in the Canadian bush,” she suggested.
“I’d say whiskey if I were in the Canadian wilderness,” she suggested.
“Well, I guess we sha'n't say anything of that sort in this camp,” said Kinney.
“Well, I guess we shouldn't say anything like that in this camp,” said Kinney.
She turned upon Bartley, “I know Mr. Hubbard is dying to do something. Do something, Mr. Hubbard!” Bartley looked up in surprise at this interpretation of his tacit wish to distinguish himself before her. “Come, sing us some of your student songs.”
She turned to Bartley, “I know Mr. Hubbard is eager to do something. Do something, Mr. Hubbard!” Bartley looked up in surprise at this take on his unspoken desire to impress her. “Come on, sing us some of your student songs.”
Bartley's vanity had confided the fact of his college training to her, and he was really thinking just then that he would like to give them a serio-comic song, for which he had been famous with his class. He borrowed the violin of a Kanuck, and, sitting down, strummed upon it banjo-wise. The song was one of those which is partly spoken and acted; he really did it very well; but the Willett and Witherby ladies did not seem to understand it quite; and the gentlemen looked as if they thought this very undignified business for an educated American.
Bartley's vanity had revealed his college background to her, and he was actually thinking that he would like to perform a funny song that he was known for in his class. He borrowed a violin from a Canadian guy and, sitting down, played it like a banjo. The song was a mix of spoken word and a little acting; he really pulled it off quite well, but the Willett and Witherby ladies didn't seem to get it completely, and the gentlemen looked like they thought it was a rather undignified thing for an educated American to do.
Mrs. Macallister feigned a yawn, and put up her hand to hide it. “Oh, what a styupid song!” she said. She sprang to her feet, and began to put on her wraps. The others were glad of this signal to go, and followed her example. “Good by!” she cried, giving her hand to Kinney. “I don't think your ideas are ridiculous. I think there's no end of good sense in them, I assure you. I hope you won't leave off that regard for the brain in your cooking. Good by!” She waved her hand to the Americans, and then to the Kanucks, as she passed out between their respectfully parted ranks. “Adieu, messieurs!” She merely nodded to Bartley; the others parted from him coldly, as he fancied, and it seemed to him that he had been made responsible for that woman's coquetries, when he was conscious, all the time, of having forborne even to meet them half-way. But this was not so much to his credit as he imagined. The flirt can only practise her audacities safely by grace of those upon whom she uses them, and if men really met them half-way there could be no such tiling as flirting.
Mrs. Macallister pretended to yawn and raised her hand to cover it. “Oh, what a stupid song!” she exclaimed. She jumped to her feet and started putting on her coat. The others were happy for the cue to leave and followed her lead. “Goodbye!” she said, shaking Kinney’s hand. “I don't think your ideas are ridiculous. I believe there's a lot of good sense in them, really. I hope you keep that focus on intellect in your cooking. Goodbye!” She waved at the Americans, then at the Canadians, as she walked out between their respectfully parted lines. “Adieu, messieurs!” She just nodded to Bartley; the others seemed to part from him coldly, as he thought, and it felt like he was to blame for that woman's flirtations, even though he was aware that he had held back from engaging with them at all. But that wasn't as commendable as he believed. A flirt can only pull off her bold moves safely because of those she targets, and if men truly met them halfway, there wouldn't be such a thing as flirting.
XI.
The loggers pulled off their boots and got into their bunks, where some of them lay and smoked, while others fell asleep directly.
The loggers took off their boots and climbed into their bunks, where some lay back and smoked, while others fell asleep right away.
Bartley made some indirect approaches to Kinney for sympathy in the snub which he had received, and which rankled in his mind with unabated keenness.
Bartley made a few subtle attempts to get Kinney's sympathy for the slight he experienced, which continued to sting in his mind with relentless sharpness.
But Kinney did not respond. “Your bed's ready,” he said. “You can turn in whenever you like.”
But Kinney didn't reply. “Your bed's ready,” he said. “You can go to sleep whenever you want.”
“What's the matter?” asked Bartley.
“What's wrong?” asked Bartley.
“Nothing's the matter, if you say so,” answered Kinney, going about some preparations for the morning's breakfast.
“Nothing's wrong if you say so,” Kinney replied, busying himself with preparations for breakfast in the morning.
Bartley looked at his resentful back. He saw that he was hurt, and he surmised that Kinney suspected him of making fun of his eccentricities to Mrs. Macallister. He had laughed at Kinney, and tried to amuse her with him; but he could not have made this appear as harmless as it was. He rose from the bench on which he had been sitting, and shut with a click the penknife with which he had been cutting a pattern on its edge.
Bartley looked at his angry back. He saw that he was upset, and he guessed that Kinney thought he was mocking his quirks to Mrs. Macallister. He had laughed at Kinney and tried to entertain her with him, but he probably hadn’t made it seem as innocent as it actually was. He got up from the bench he had been sitting on and snapped closed the penknife he had been using to cut a pattern into the edge.
“I shall have to say good night to you, I believe,” he said, going to the peg on which Kinney had hung his hat and overcoat. He had them on, and was buttoning the coat in an angry tremor before Kinney looked up and realized what his guest was about.
“I guess I have to say good night to you now,” he said, walking over to the peg where Kinney had hung his hat and coat. He put them on and was buttoning his coat angrily before Kinney looked up and realized what his guest was doing.
“Why, what—why, where—you goin'?” he faltered in dismay.
“Why, what—why, where are you going?” he hesitated in distress.
“To Equity,” said Bartley, feeling in his coat pockets for his gloves, and drawing them on, without looking at Kinney, whose great hands were in a pan of dough.
“To Equity,” Bartley said, searching his coat pockets for his gloves and putting them on without glancing at Kinney, whose large hands were in a bowl of dough.
“Why—why—no, you aint!” he protested, with a revulsion of feeling that swept away all his resentment, and left him nothing but remorse for his inhospitality.
“Why—why—no, you aren't!” he protested, feeling a wave of emotion that erased all his anger and left him with nothing but regret for his unkindness.
“No?” said Bartley, putting up the collar of the first ulster worn by a native in that region.
“No?” Bartley said, adjusting the collar of the first ulster worn by a local in that area.
“Why, look here!” cried Kinney, pulling his hands out of the dough, and making a fruitless effort to cleanse them upon each other. “I don't want you to go, this way.”
“Hey, check this out!” shouted Kinney, pulling his hands out of the dough and trying unsuccessfully to clean them off on each other. “I don't want you to leave like this.”
“Don't you? I'm sorry to disoblige you; but I'm going,” said Bartley.
“Don’t you? I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m leaving,” said Bartley.
Kinney tried to laugh. “Why, Hubbard,—why, Bartley,—why, Bart!” he exclaimed. “What's the matter with you? I aint mad!”
Kinney tried to laugh. “Why, Hubbard—why, Bartley—why, Bart!” he exclaimed. “What's wrong with you? I’m not mad!”
“You have an unfortunate manner, then. Good night.” He strode out between the bunks, full of snoring loggers.
“You have a really unpleasant way about you. Good night.” He walked out between the bunks, surrounded by snoring loggers.
Kinney hurried after him, imploring and protesting in a low voice, trying to get before him, and longing to lay his floury paws upon him and detain him by main force, but even in his distress respecting Bartley's overcoat too much to touch it. He followed him out into the freezing air in his shirt-sleeves, and besought him not to be such a fool. “It makes me feel like the devil!” he exclaimed, pitifully. “You come back, now, half a minute, and I'll make it all right with you. I know I can; you're a gentleman, and you'll understand. Do come back! I shall never get over it if you don't!”
Kinney rushed after him, begging and protesting in a low voice, trying to get in front of him, desperate to grab him and hold him back, but he was too worried about Bartley's overcoat to actually touch it. He followed him out into the freezing air in just his shirt sleeves and pleaded with him not to be so reckless. “It drives me crazy!” he said, sounding desperate. “Just come back for half a minute, and I'll make things right. I know I can; you're a good guy, and you'll get it. Please come back! I won’t be able to handle it if you don’t!”
“I'm sorry,” said Bartley, “but I'm not going back. Good night.”
“I'm sorry,” Bartley said, “but I'm not going back. Good night.”
“Oh, good Lordy!” lamented Kinney. “What am I goin' to do? Why, man! It's a good three mile and more to Equity, and the woods is full of catamounts. I tell ye 't aint safe for ye.” He kept following Bartley down the path to the road.
“Oh, good Lord!” lamented Kinney. “What am I going to do? Man! It’s a good three miles or more to Equity, and the woods are full of wildcats. I’m telling you, it’s not safe for you.” He kept following Bartley down the path to the road.
“I'll risk it,” said Bartley.
“I'll take the chance,” said Bartley.
Kinney had left the door of the camp open, and the yells and curses of the awakened sleepers recalled him to himself. “Well, well! If you will go” he groaned in despair, “here's that money.” He plunged his doughy hand into his pocket, and pulled out a roll of bills. “Here it is. I haint time to count it; but it'll be all right, anyhow.”
Kinney had left the camp door open, and the shouts and curses of the waking campers brought him back to reality. “Well, well! If you’re going to go,” he sighed in frustration, “here's the money.” He shoved his chubby hand into his pocket and pulled out a stack of cash. “Here it is. I don’t have time to count it, but it’ll be fine, anyway.”
Bartley did not even turn his head to look round at him. “Keep your money!” he said, as he plunged forward through the snow. “I wouldn't touch a cent of it to save your life.”
Bartley didn't even glance back at him. “Keep your money!” he said as he pushed forward through the snow. “I wouldn't take a dime of it to save your life.”
“All right,” said Kinney, in hapless contrition, and he returned to shut himself in with the reproaches of the loggers and the upbraiding of his own heart.
“All right,” said Kinney, feeling helplessly sorry, and he went back to isolate himself with the criticisms of the loggers and the scolding from his own heart.
Bartley dashed along the road in a fury that kept him unconscious of the intense cold; and he passed half the night, when he was once more in his own room, packing his effects against his departure next day. When all was done, he went to bed, half wishing that he might never rise from it again. It was not that he cared for Kinney; that fool's sulking was only the climax of a long series of injuries of which he was the victim at the hands of a hypercritical omnipotence.
Bartley rushed down the road in a rage, oblivious to the biting cold. He spent half the night in his room packing his things for his departure the next day. Once everything was ready, he went to bed, half hoping he wouldn’t have to get up again. It wasn’t that he cared about Kinney; that idiot’s sulking was just the final straw in a long line of wrongs he had suffered from an overly critical authority.
Despite his conviction that it was useless to struggle longer against such injustice, he lived through the night, and came down late to breakfast, which he found stale, and without the compensating advantage of finding himself alone at the table. Some ladies had lingered there to clear up on the best authority the distracting rumors concerning him which they had heard the day before. Was it true that he had intended to spend the rest of the winter in logging? and was it true that he was going to give up the Free Press? and was it true that Henry Bird was going to be the editor? Bartley gave a sarcastic confirmation to all these reports, and went out to the printing-office to gather up some things of his. He found Henry Bird there, looking pale and sick, but at work, and seemingly in authority. This was what Bartley had always intended when he should go out, but he did not like it, and he resented some small changes that had already been made in the editor's room, in tacit recognition of his purpose not to occupy it again.
Despite believing it was pointless to keep fighting against such unfairness, he got through the night and came down late for breakfast, which he found stale and without the bonus of being alone at the table. Some ladies had stayed behind to verify the gossip they had heard about him the day before. Was it true that he planned to spend the rest of the winter logging? And was it true that he was going to quit the Free Press? And was it true that Henry Bird was set to be the editor? Bartley gave a sarcastic nod to all these rumors and went out to the printing office to collect some of his things. He found Henry Bird there, looking pale and sick but working and seemingly in charge. This was what Bartley had always intended when he left, but he didn’t like it, and he resented some minor changes that had already been made in the editor’s room, quietly acknowledging his choice not to return.
Bird greeted him stiffly; the printer girls briefly nodded to him, suppressing some little hysterical titters, and tacitly let him feel that he was no longer master there. While he was in the composing-room Hannah Morrison came in, apparently from some errand outside, and, catching sight of him, stared, and pertly passed him in silence. On his inkstand he found a letter from Squire Gaylord, briefly auditing his last account, and enclosing the balance due him. From this the old lawyer, with the careful smallness of a village business man, had deducted various little sums for things which Bartley had never expected to pay for. With a like thriftiness the landlord, when Bartley asked for his bill, had charged certain items that had not appeared in the bills before. Bartley felt that the charges were trumped up; but he was powerless to dispute them; besides, he hoped to sell the landlord his colt and cutter, and he did not care to prejudice that matter. Some bills from storekeepers, which he thought he had paid, were handed to him by the landlord, and each of the churches had sent in a little account for pew-rent for the past eighteen months: he had always believed himself dead-headed at church. He outlawed the latter by tearing them to pieces in the landlord's presence, and dropping the fragments into a spittoon. It seemed to him that every soul in Equity was making a clutch at the rapidly diminishing sum of money which Squire Gaylord had enclosed to him, and which was all he had in the world. On the other hand, his popularity in the village seemed to have vanished over night. He had sometimes fancied a general and rebellious grief when it should become known that he was going away; but instead there was an acquiescence amounting to airiness.
Bird greeted him coldly; the printer girls gave him a brief nod, stifling little giggles, and silently made it clear that he was no longer in charge. While he was in the composing room, Hannah Morrison walked in, seemingly returning from an errand, and, upon seeing him, stared and breezily passed by without a word. On his inkstand, he found a letter from Squire Gaylord, quickly reviewing his last account, and including the balance owed to him. The old lawyer, with the meticulous detail of a small-town businessman, had deducted various small amounts for things Bartley never expected to pay for. Similarly, when Bartley asked for his bill, the landlord added charges for certain items that hadn’t been included before. Bartley sensed the charges were fabricated; however, he felt powerless to contest them, and he hoped to sell the landlord his colt and cutter, so he didn’t want to jeopardize that deal. The landlord handed him some bills from storekeepers that he thought he had already paid, and each church sent him a small account for pew rent for the past eighteen months: he had always believed he was exempt from fees at church. He dismissed the latter by tearing the bills into pieces in front of the landlord and tossing the scraps into a spittoon. It felt to him like everyone in Equity was trying to grab at the quickly dwindling sum of money that Squire Gaylord had sent him, which was all he had in the world. Meanwhile, his popularity in the village seemed to have disappeared overnight. He had occasionally imagined a widespread and rebellious sadness when it became known that he was leaving; instead, there was a carefree acceptance.
He wondered if anything about his affairs with Henry Bird and Hannah Morrison had leaked out. But he did not care. He only wished to shake the snow of Equity off his feet as soon as possible.
He thought about whether anything regarding his dealings with Henry Bird and Hannah Morrison had gotten out. But he didn’t really care. He just wanted to get the burden of Equity off his shoulders as quickly as possible.
After dinner, when the boarders had gone out, and the loafers had not yet gathered in, he offered the landlord his colt and cutter. Bartley knew that the landlord wanted the colt; but now the latter said, “I don't know as I care to buy any horses, right in the winter, this way.”
After dinner, when the boarders had left and the hangers-on hadn't shown up yet, he offered the landlord his colt and cutter. Bartley knew the landlord was interested in the colt; however, the latter replied, "I’m not sure I want to buy any horses right now, especially in the winter like this."
“All right,” answered Bartley. “Just have the colt put into the cutter.”
“All right,” Bartley replied. “Just have the colt put into the cart.”
Andy Morrison brought it round. The boy looked at Bartley's set face with a sort of awe-stricken affection; his adoration for the young man survived all that he had heard said against him at home during the series of family quarrels that had ensued upon his father's interview with him; he longed to testify, somehow, his unabated loyalty, but he could not think of anything to do, much less to say.
Andy Morrison brought it over. The boy looked at Bartley's serious face with a mix of admiration and affection; his admiration for the young man remained strong despite everything he had heard at home during the family arguments that followed his father's meeting with him. He wanted to show his unwavering loyalty in some way, but he couldn't think of anything to do, let alone say.
Bartley pitched his valise into the cutter, and then, as Andy left the horse's head to give him a hand with his trunk, offered him a dollar. “I don't want anything,” said the boy, shyly refusing the money out of pure affection.
Bartley threw his suitcase into the small boat, and then, as Andy stepped away from the horse to help him with his trunk, he offered him a dollar. “I don't want anything,” the boy said, shyly turning down the money out of pure affection.
But Bartley mistook his motive, and thought it sulky resentment. “Oh, very well,” he said. “Take hold.”
But Bartley misunderstood his intention and saw it as sulky resentment. “Oh, fine,” he said. “Go ahead.”
The landlord came out. “Hold on a minute,” he said. “Where you goin' to take the cars?”
The landlord came out. “Wait a second,” he said. “Where are you taking the cars?”
“At the Junction,” answered Bartley. “I know a man there that will buy the colt. What is it you want?”
“At the Junction,” Bartley replied. “I know someone there who will buy the colt. What do you need?”
The landlord stepped back a few paces, and surveyed the establishment. “I should like to ride after that hoss,” he said, “if you aint in any great of a hurry.”
The landlord took a step back and looked over the place. “I’d like to chase after that horse,” he said, “if you’re not in too much of a rush.”
“Get in,” said Bartley, and the landlord took the reins.
“Get in,” said Bartley, and the landlord grabbed the reins.
From time to time, as he drove, he rose up and looked over the dashboard to study the gait of the horse. “I've noticed he strikes some, when he first comes out in the spring.”
From time to time, as he drove, he lifted himself up and looked over the dashboard to observe the horse's gait. “I’ve noticed he stumbles a bit when he first comes out in the spring.”
“Yes,” Bartley assented.
“Yes,” Bartley agreed.
“Pulls consid'able.”
“Pulls considerable.”
“He pulls.”
"He pulls."
The landlord rose again and scrutinized the horse's legs. “I don't know as I ever noticed 't he'd capped his hock before.”
The landlord stood up again and examined the horse's legs closely. "I don't think I've ever noticed that he had capped his hock before."
“Didn't you?”
"Didn't you?"
“Done it kickin' nights, I guess.”
“Did it during late nights, I guess.”
“I guess so.”
"Yeah, I guess so."
The landlord drew the whip lightly across the colt's rear; he shrank together, and made a little spring forward, but behaved perfectly well.
The landlord lightly swished the whip across the colt's rear; it flinched slightly and jumped forward a bit, but acted completely fine.
“I don't know as I should always be sure he wouldn't kick in the daytime.”
“I’m not sure I can always be certain he won’t kick during the day.”
“No,” said Bartley, “you never can be sure of anything.”
“No,” Bartley said, “you can never be sure of anything.”
They drove along in silence. At last the landlord said, “Well, he aint so fast as I supposed.”
They drove along in silence. Finally, the landlord said, “Well, he isn't as fast as I thought.”
“He's not so fast a horse as some,” answered Bartley.
“He's not as fast a horse as some,” Bartley replied.
The landlord leaned over sidewise for an inspection of the colt's action forward. “Haint never thought he had a splint on that forward off leg?”
The landlord leaned over to check the colt's movement. “Never thought he had a splint on that front off leg?”
“A splint? Perhaps he has a splint.”
“A splint? Maybe he has a splint.”
They returned to the hotel and both alighted.
They got back to the hotel and both got out.
“Skittish devil,” remarked the landlord, as the colt quivered under the hand he laid upon him.
“Skittish little devil,” said the landlord, as the colt trembled under his hand.
“He's skittish,” said Bartley.
"He's nervous," said Bartley.
The landlord retired as far back as the door, and regarded the colt critically. “Well, I s'pose you've always used him too well ever to winded him, but dumn 'f he don't blow like it.”
The landlord stepped back from the door and looked at the colt with a critical eye. “Well, I guess you’ve always cared for him too well to have worn him out, but damn if he doesn’t blow like it.”
“Look here, Simpson,” said Bartley, very quietly. “You know this horse as well as I do, and you know there isn't an out about him. You want to buy him because you always have. Now make me an offer.”
“Listen up, Simpson,” Bartley said softly. “You know this horse just as well as I do, and you know there’s no way around it. You want to buy him because you always have. So, give me an offer.”
“Well,” groaned the landlord, “what'll you take for the whole rig, just as it stands,—colt, cutter, leathers, and robe?”
“Well,” groaned the landlord, “how much will you take for the whole setup, just as it is—colt, cart, harness, and blanket?”
“Two hundred dollars,” promptly replied Bartley.
“Two hundred dollars,” Bartley replied immediately.
“I'll give ye seventy-five,” returned the landlord with equal promptness.
"I'll give you seventy-five," the landlord replied just as quickly.
“Andy, take hold of the end of that trunk, will you?”
“Andy, can you grab the end of that trunk?”
The landlord allowed them to put the trunk into the cutter. Bartley got in too, and, shifting the baggage to one side, folded the robe around him from his middle down and took his seat. “This colt can road you right along all day inside of five minutes, and he can trot inside of two-thirty every time; and you know it as well as I do.”
The landlord let them put the trunk in the cutter. Bartley climbed in too, moved the luggage to one side, wrapped the robe around himself from the waist down, and took his seat. “This colt can get you where you need to go all day in just five minutes, and he can trot in two-thirty every time; you know that just as well as I do.”
“Well,” said the landlord, “make it an even hundred.”
“Well,” said the landlord, “let's make it a flat hundred.”
Bartley leaned forward and gathered up the reins, “Let go his head, Andy,” he quietly commanded.
Bartley leaned forward and took the reins, “Let him have his head, Andy,” he quietly instructed.
“Make it one and a quarter,” cried the landlord, not seeing that his chance was past. “What do you say?”
“Make it one and a quarter,” shouted the landlord, not realizing that his opportunity had slipped away. “What do you think?”
What Bartley said, as he touched the colt with the whip, the landlord never knew. He stood watching the cutter's swift disappearance up the road, in a sort of stupid expectation of its return. When he realized that Bartley's departure was final, he said under his breath, “Sold, ye dumned old fool, and serve ye right,” and went in-doors with a feeling of admiration! for colt and man that bordered on reverence.
What Bartley said as he flicked the colt with the whip, the landlord never found out. He stood there, watching the cutter speed away down the road, almost stupidly waiting for it to come back. When he realized that Bartley wasn't coming back, he muttered under his breath, “Sold, you dumb old fool, and you deserve it,” and went inside with a sense of admiration for both the colt and the man that was almost like respect.
XII.
This last drop of the local meanness filled Bartley's bitter cup. As he passed the house at the end of the street he seemed to drain it all. He knew that the old lawyer was there sitting by the office stove, drawing his hand across his chin, and Bartley hoped that he was still as miserable as he had looked when he last saw him; but he did not know that by the window in the house, which he would not even look at, Marcia sat self-prisoned in her room, with her eyes upon the road, famishing for the thousandth part of a chance to see him pass. She saw him now for the instant of his coming and going. With eyes trained to take in every point, she saw the preparation which seemed like final departure, and with a gasp of “Bartley!” as if she were trying to call after him, she sank back into her chair and shut her eyes.
This last bit of local negativity filled Bartley's bitter cup. As he passed the house at the end of the street, it felt like he was draining it all away. He knew the old lawyer was inside by the office stove, rubbing his hand across his chin, and Bartley hoped he still looked as miserable as he did the last time he saw him. But he didn’t realize that by the window in the house, which he wouldn’t even glance at, Marcia sat trapped in her room, her eyes on the road, desperate for even the slightest chance to see him go by. She caught a glimpse of him, just for a moment as he passed. With keen eyes that picked up every detail, she noticed the preparation that seemed like a final farewell, and with a gasp of “Bartley!” as if she were trying to call out to him, she sank back into her chair and closed her eyes.
He drove on, plunging into the deep hollow beyond the house, and keeping for several miles the road they had taken on that Sunday together; but he did not make the turn that brought them back to the village again. The pale sunset was slanting over the snow when he reached the Junction, for he had slackened his colt's pace after he had put ten miles behind him, not choosing to reach a prospective purchaser with his horse all blown and bathed with sweat. He wished to be able to say, “Look at him! He's come fifteen miles since three o'clock, and he's as keen as when he started.”
He drove on, heading into the deep hollow beyond the house, sticking to the same road they had taken together that Sunday for several miles; however, he didn't take the turn that would lead them back to the village. The pale sunset was casting a glow over the snow when he reached the Junction, as he had slowed his horse's pace after covering ten miles, not wanting to arrive at a potential buyer with his horse all exhausted and sweaty. He wanted to be able to say, “Check him out! He’s covered fifteen miles since three o'clock, and he’s just as lively as when he started.”
This was true, when, having left his baggage at the Junction, he drove another mile into the country to see the farmer of the gentleman who had his summer-house here, and who had once bantered Bartley to sell him his colt. The farmer was away, and would not be at home till the up-train from Boston was in. Bartley looked at his watch, and saw that to wait would lose him the six o'clock down-train. There would be no other till eleven o'clock. But it was worth while: the gentleman had said, “When you want the money for that colt, bring him over any time; my farmer will have it ready for you.” He waited for the up-train; but when the farmer arrived, he was full of all sorts of scruples and reluctances. He said he should not like to buy it till he had heard from Mr. Farnham; he ended by offering Bartley eighty dollars for the colt on his own account; he did not want the cutter.
This was true when, leaving his bags at the station, he drove another mile into the countryside to see the farmer of the man who had his summer house here and who had once jokingly pressured Bartley to sell him his colt. The farmer was away and wouldn’t be back until the train from Boston arrived. Bartley checked his watch and realized that waiting would make him miss the six o’clock train down. There wouldn’t be another one until eleven. But it was worth it: the man had said, “When you want the money for that colt, bring him over any time; my farmer will have it ready for you.” He waited for the incoming train, but when the farmer finally showed up, he was full of doubts and hesitations. He said he wouldn’t feel right buying it until he heard from Mr. Farnham; in the end, he offered Bartley eighty dollars for the colt on his own accord; he didn’t want the cutter.
“You write to Mr. Farnham,” said Bartley, “that you tried that plan with me, and it wouldn't work, he's lost the colt.”
“You should tell Mr. Farnham,” Bartley said, “that you tried that plan with me and it didn't work; he's lost the colt.”
He made this brave show of indifference, but he was disheartened, and, having carried the farmer home from the Junction for the convenience of talking over the trade with him, he drove back again through the early night-fall in sullen desperation.
He put on a brave front of indifference, but he was really feeling down. After giving the farmer a ride home from the Junction to discuss the deal, he drove back through the early evening darkness, filled with gloomy despair.
The weather had softened and was threatening rain or snow; the dark was closing in spiritlessly; the colt, shortening from a trot into a short, springy jolt, dropped into a walk at last as if he were tired, and gave Bartley time enough on his way back to the Junction for reflection upon the disaster into which his life had fallen. These passages of utter despair are commoner to the young than they are to those whom years have experienced in the impermanence of any fate, good, bad, or indifferent, unless, perhaps, the last may seem rather constant. Taken in reference to all that had been ten days ago, the present ruin was incredible, and had nothing reasonable in proof of its existence. Then he was prosperously placed, and in the way to better himself indefinitely. Now, he was here in the dark, with fifteen dollars in his pocket, and an unsalable horse on his hands; outcast, deserted, homeless, hopeless: and by whose fault? He owned even then that he had committed some follies; but in his sense of Marcia's all-giving love he had risen for once in his life to a conception of self-devotion, and in taking herself from him as she did, she had taken from him the highest incentive he had ever known, and had checked him in his first feeble impulse to do and be all in all for another. It was she who had ruined him.
The weather had turned milder and threatened rain or snow; the darkness closed in drearily. The colt, shifting from a trot to a short, bouncy jolt, finally dropped to a walk as if he were tired, giving Bartley time to reflect on the disaster his life had become on his way back to the Junction. These moments of deep despair are more common for the young than for those who have lived long enough to know that any situation—good, bad, or indifferent—is temporary, unless maybe the indifferent ones feel somewhat stable. Compared to how things were ten days ago, this current ruin was unbelievable and offered no reasonable evidence of its existence. Back then, he was doing well and on a path to improve himself indefinitely. Now, he stood in the dark with fifteen dollars in his pocket and a horse he couldn’t sell; he felt like an outcast, abandoned, homeless, and hopeless. And whose fault was it? He admitted that he had made some mistakes, but in his understanding of Marcia's all-encompassing love, he had for once in his life felt a sense of selflessness. By taking herself away from him, she had stripped him of the greatest motivation he had ever known and halted his first weak impulse to give everything for someone else. It was she who had ruined him.
As he jumped out of the cutter at the Junction the station-master stopped with a cluster of party-colored signal-lanterns in his hand and cast their light over the sorrel.
As he jumped out of the cutter at the Junction, the station-master paused with a bunch of colorful signal lanterns in his hand and shone their light over the sorrel.
“Nice colt you got there.”
“Nice horse you have there.”
“Yes,” said Bartley, blanketing the horse, “do you know anybody who wants to buy?”
“Yes,” said Bartley, covering the horse with a blanket, “do you know anyone who wants to buy it?”
“Whose is he?” asked the man.
“Whose is he?” the man asked.
“He's mine!” shouted Bartley. “Do you think I stole him?”
“He's mine!” Bartley shouted. “Do you really think I stole him?”
“I don't know where you got him,” said the man, walking off, and making a soft play of red and green lights on the snow beyond the narrow platform.
“I don’t know where you found him,” said the man, walking away and casting a gentle mix of red and green lights on the snow beyond the narrow platform.
Bartley went into the great ugly barn of a station, trembling, and sat down in one of the gouged and whittled arm-chairs near the stove. A pomp of timetables and luminous advertisements of Western railroads and their land-grants decorated the wooden walls of the gentlemen's waiting-room, which had been sanded to keep the gentlemen from writing and sketching upon them. This was the more judicious because the ladies' room, in the absence of tourist travel, was locked in winter, and they were obliged to share the gentlemen's. In summer, the Junction was a busy place, but after the snow fell, and until the snow thawed, it was a desolation relieved only by the arrival of the sparsely peopled through-trains from the north and east, and by such local travellers as wished to take trains not stopping at their own stations. These broke in upon the solitude of the joint station-master and baggage-man and switch-tender with just sufficient frequency to keep him in a state of uncharitable irritation and unrest. To-night Bartley was the sole intruder, and he sat by the stove wrapped in a cloud of rebellious memories, when one side of a colloquy without made itself heard.
Bartley walked into the large, unattractive train station, shaking, and sat down in one of the battered armchairs near the stove. The walls of the men's waiting room were covered with a mix of timetables and bright advertisements for Western railroads and their land deals, which had been sanded down to prevent people from writing or drawing on them. This was a wise choice because the women's room, usually locked during winter due to a lack of tourist traffic, forced them to share the men's space. In summer, the Junction was bustling, but once the snow fell and until it melted, it turned into a deserted place, only interrupted by the infrequent arrival of trains from the north and east, and by local travelers who wanted to catch trains that didn’t stop at their stations. These travelers broke up the solitude of the station master, baggage handler, and switch operator just enough to keep him in a state of annoyance and restlessness. Tonight, Bartley was the only visitor, and he sat by the stove wrapped in a haze of disruptive memories when he could hear part of a conversation from outside.
“What?”
“Excuse me?”
Some question was repeated.
A question was repeated.
“No; it went down half an hour ago.”
“No, it went down half an hour ago.”
An inaudible question followed.
A silent question followed.
“Next down-train at eleven.”
"Next train down at eleven."
There was now a faintly audible lament or appeal.
There was now a faintly heard cry or plea.
“Guess you'll have to come earlier next time. Most folks doos that wants to take it.”
“Looks like you’ll have to come earlier next time. Most people do that want to take it.”
Bartley now heard the despairing moan of a woman: he had already divined the sex of the futile questioner whom the station-master was bullying; but he had divined it without compassion, and if he had not himself been a sufferer from the man's insolence he might even have felt a ferocious satisfaction in it. In a word, he was at his lowest and worst when the door opened and the woman came in, with a movement at once bewildered and daring, which gave him the impression of a despair as complete and final as his own. He doggedly kept his place; she did not seem to care for him, but in the uncertain light of the lamp above them she drew near the stove, and, putting one hand to her pocket as if to find her handkerchief, she flung aside her veil with her other, and showed her tear stained face.
Bartley heard the desperate moan of a woman: he had already figured out the gender of the ineffective questioner that the station-master was harassing; but he had done so without any sympathy, and if he hadn’t been dealing with the man’s rudeness himself, he might have even felt a cruel satisfaction in it. In short, he was at his lowest point when the door opened and the woman walked in, with a movement that was both confused and bold, which made him feel her despair was as complete and final as his own. He stubbornly stayed in his spot; she didn’t seem to notice him, but in the dim light of the lamp above them, she moved closer to the stove, and while reaching into her pocket as if to find her handkerchief, she tossed aside her veil with the other hand, revealing her tear-stained face.
He was on his feet somehow. “Marcia!”
He was somehow on his feet. “Marcia!”
“Oh! Bartley—”
“Oh! Bartley—”
He had seized her by the arm to make sure that she was there in verity of flesh and blood, and not by some trick of his own senses, as a cold chill running over him had made him afraid. At the touch their passion ignored all that they had made each other suffer; her head was on his breast, his embrace was round her; it was a moment of delirious bliss that intervened between the sorrows that had been and the reasons that must come.
He grabbed her arm to confirm that she was really there, not just a trick of his imagination, as a cold chill running through him had frightened him. At that touch, their passion overlooked all the hurt they had caused each other; her head rested on his chest, and his arms wrapped around her. It was a moment of overwhelming happiness that stood between the pain they had experienced and the challenges that were yet to come.
“What—what are you doing here, Marcia?” he asked at last.
“What—what are you doing here, Marcia?” he finally asked.
They sank on the benching that ran round the wall; he held her hands fast in one of his, and kept his other arm about her as they sat side by side.
They sat down on the bench that went around the wall; he held her hands tightly in one of his, and kept his other arm around her as they sat next to each other.
“I don't know—I—” She seemed to rouse herself by an effort from her rapture. “I was going to see Nettie Spaulding. And I saw you driving past our house; and I thought you were coming here; and I couldn't bear—I couldn't bear to let you go away without telling you that I was wrong; and asking—asking you to forgive me. I thought you would do it,—I thought you would know that I had behaved that way because I—I—cared so much for you. I thought—I was afraid you had gone on the other train—” She trembled and sank back in his embrace, from which she had lifted herself a little.
“I don’t know—I—” She seemed to pull herself out of her daze. “I was going to see Nettie Spaulding. And I saw you driving past our house; and I thought you were coming here; and I couldn’t stand—I couldn’t stand the thought of letting you leave without telling you that I was wrong; and asking—asking you to forgive me. I thought you would do it—I thought you would understand that I acted that way because I—I—cared so much for you. I thought—I was afraid you had taken the other train—” She shivered and sank back into his embrace, from which she had lifted herself a little.
“How did you get here?” asked Bartley, as if willing to give himself all the proofs he could of the every-day reality of her presence.
“How did you get here?” Bartley asked, as if he needed all the evidence he could get of her being here in real life.
“Andy Morrison brought me. Father sent him from the hotel. I didn't care what you would say to me, I wanted to tell you that I was wrong, and not let you go away feeling that—that—you were all to blame. I thought when I had done that you might drive me away,—or laugh at me, or anything you pleased, if only you would let me take back—”
“Andy Morrison brought me. Dad sent him from the hotel. I didn't care what you would say to me; I wanted to tell you that I was wrong and not let you leave feeling that—that—you were completely to blame. I thought once I did that, you might send me away—or laugh at me, or do whatever you wanted, as long as you let me take back—”
“Yes,” he answered dreamily. All that wicked hardness was breaking up within him; he felt it melting drop by drop in his heart. This poor love-tossed soul, this frantic, unguided, reckless girl, was an angel of mercy to him, and in her folly and error a messenger of heavenly peace and hope. “I am a bad fellow, Marcia,” he faltered. “You ought to know that. You did right to give me up. I made love to Hannah Morrison; I never promised to marry her, but I made her think that I was fond of her.”
“Yes,” he replied dreamily. All that harshness inside him was breaking apart; he felt it melting away, drop by drop, in his heart. This poor, love-stricken soul, this frantic, lost, reckless girl, was a blessing for him, and in her mistakes and missteps, she was a messenger of peace and hope. “I’m a bad guy, Marcia,” he stammered. “You should know that. You were right to let me go. I flirted with Hannah Morrison; I never promised to marry her, but I led her to believe I cared about her.”
“I don't care for that,” replied the girl. “I told you when we were first engaged that I would never think of anything that had gone before that; and then when I would not listen to a word from you, that day, I broke my promise.”
“I don’t care about that,” the girl replied. “I told you when we first got engaged that I would never think about anything that happened before that; and when I refused to listen to anything you said that day, I broke my promise.”
“When I struck Henry Bird because he was jealous of me, I was as guilty as if I had killed him.”
“When I hit Henry Bird because he was jealous of me, I felt just as guilty as if I had killed him.”
“If you had killed him, I was bound to you by my word. Your striking him was part of the same thing,—part of what I had promised I never would care for.” A gush of tears came into his eyes, and she saw them. “Oh, poor Bartley! Poor Bartley!”
“If you had killed him, I was bound to you by my word. Your hitting him was part of the same thing—part of what I promised I would never care about.” Tears filled his eyes, and she noticed them. “Oh, poor Bartley! Poor Bartley!”
She took his head between her hands and pressed it hard against her heart, and then wrapped her arms tight about him, and softly bemoaned him.
She held his head in her hands and pressed it firmly against her heart, then wrapped her arms tightly around him and softly mourned him.
They drew a little apart when the man came in with his lantern, and set it down to mend the fire. But as a railroad employee he was far too familiar with the love that vaunts itself on all railroad trains to feel that he was an intruder. He scarcely looked at them, and went out when he had mended the fire, and left it purring.
They moved a bit apart when the man entered with his lantern and put it down to tend to the fire. But as a railroad worker, he was too accustomed to the kind of love that shows off on all train rides to think of himself as an intruder. He barely glanced at them, and left after fixing the fire, which was now crackling softly.
“Where is Andy Morrison?” asked Bartley. “Has he gone back?”
“Where’s Andy Morrison?” Bartley asked. “Has he gone back?”
“No; he is at the hotel over there. I told him to wait till I found out when the train went north.”
“No, he’s at the hotel over there. I told him to wait until I found out when the train goes north.”
“So you inquired when it went to Boston,” said Bartley, with a touch of his old raillery. “Come,” he added, taking her hand under his arm. He led her out of the room, to where his cutter stood outside. She was astonished to find the colt there.
“So you asked when it went to Boston,” Bartley said, with a hint of his old teasing. “Come on,” he added, taking her hand and putting it under his arm. He led her out of the room to where his cutter was waiting outside. She was surprised to see the colt there.
“I wonder I didn't see it. But if I had, I should have thought that you had sold it and gone away; Andy told me you were coming here to sell the colt. When the man told me the express was gone, I knew you were on it.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t notice that. But if I had, I would have thought you sold it and left; Andy mentioned you were coming here to sell the colt. When the guy told me the express shipment was gone, I figured you were on it.”
They found the boy stolidly waiting for Marcia on the veranda of the hotel, stamping first upon one foot and then the other, and hugging himself in his great-coat as the coming snow-fall blew its first flakes in his face.
They found the boy patiently waiting for Marcia on the hotel porch, first stamping one foot and then the other, hugging himself in his big coat as the first snowflakes blew in his face.
“Is that you, Andy?” asked Bartley.
“Is that you, Andy?” Bartley asked.
“Yes, sir,” answered the boy, without surprise at finding him with Marcia.
“Yes, sir,” the boy replied, not surprised to see him with Marcia.
“Well, here! Just take hold of the colt's head a minute.”
“Well, here! Just hold the colt's head for a minute.”
As the boy obeyed, Bartley threw the reins on the dashboard, and leaped out of the cutter, and went within. He returned after a brief absence, followed by the landlord.
As the boy followed his instructions, Bartley tossed the reins on the dashboard, jumped out of the cutter, and went inside. He came back after a short while, accompanied by the landlord.
“Well, it ain't more 'n a mile 'n a half, if it's that. You just keep straight along this street, and take your first turn to the left, and you're right at the house; it's the first house on the left-hand side.”
“Well, it’s no more than a mile and a half, if that. You just keep going straight along this street, take your first left, and you’ll be right at the house; it’s the first house on the left side.”
“Thanks,” returned Bartley. “Andy, you tell the Squire that you left Marcia with me, and I said I would see about her getting back. You needn't hurry.”
"Thanks," Bartley replied. "Andy, let the Squire know that you left Marcia with me, and I said I would take care of getting her back. There's no need to rush."
“All right,” said the boy, and he disappeared round the corner of the house to get his horse from the barn.
“All right,” said the boy, and he rounded the corner of the house to grab his horse from the barn.
“Well, I'll be all ready by the time you're here,” said the landlord, still holding the hall-door ajar, “Luck to you!” he shouted, shutting it.
“Well, I'll be all set by the time you get here,” said the landlord, still holding the hall door open. “Good luck to you!” he shouted, closing it.
Marcia locked both her hands through Bartley's arm, and leaned her head on his shoulder. Neither spoke for some minutes; then he asked, “Marcia, do you know where you are?”
Marcia linked her arms through Bartley's, resting her head on his shoulder. They stayed silent for a few minutes, and then he asked, "Marcia, do you know where you are?"
“With you,” she answered, in a voice of utter peace.
“With you,” she replied, in a completely calm voice.
“Do you know where we are going?” he asked, leaning over to kiss her cold, pure cheek.
“Do you know where we’re headed?” he asked, leaning over to kiss her cold, pure cheek.
“No,” she answered in as perfect content as before.
“No,” she replied, just as content as before.
“We are going to get married.”
“We're getting hitched.”
He felt her grow tense in her clasp upon his arm, and hold there rigidly for a moment, while the swift thoughts whirled through her mind. Then, as if the struggle had ended, she silently relaxed, and leaned more heavily against him.
He sensed her grip on his arm tighten, staying that way for a moment as her mind raced with thoughts. Then, as if the battle was over, she quietly let go and leaned more heavily against him.
“There's still time to go back, Marcia,” he said, “if you wish. That turn to the right, yonder, will take us to Equity, and you can be at home in two hours.” She quivered. “I'm a poor man,—I suppose you know that; I've only got fifteen dollars in the world, and the colt here. I know I can get on; I'm not afraid for myself; but if you would rather wait,—if you're not perfectly certain of yourself,—remember, it's going to be a struggle; we're going to have some hard times—”
“There's still time to turn back, Marcia,” he said, “if you want to. That right turn over there will take us to Equity, and you can be home in two hours.” She shook slightly. “I’m not wealthy—I guess you know that; I only have fifteen dollars to my name, plus the colt here. I know I can manage; I’m not worried about myself; but if you’d rather wait—if you’re not completely sure of yourself—just remember, it’s going to be a challenge; we’re going to face some tough times—”
“You forgive me?” she huskily asked, for all answer, without moving her head from where it lay.
“You forgive me?” she asked hoarsely, without moving her head from where it rested.
“Yes, Marcia.”
“Yeah, Marcia.”
“Then—hurry.”
“Then—let's go.”
The minister was an old man, and he seemed quite dazed at the suddenness of their demand for his services. But he gathered himself together, and contrived to make them man and wife, and to give them his marriage certificate.
The minister was an elderly man, and he looked pretty bewildered by their sudden request for his services. But he pulled himself together and managed to marry them, along with giving them his marriage certificate.
“It seems as if there were something else,” he said, absently, as he handed the paper to Bartley.
“It feels like there’s something more,” he said, absentmindedly, as he passed the paper to Bartley.
“Perhaps it's this,” said Bartley, giving him a five-dollar note in return.
“Maybe it’s this,” said Bartley, handing him a five-dollar bill in exchange.
“Ah, perhaps,” he replied, in unabated perplexity. He bade them serve God, and let them out into the snowy night, through which they drove back to the hotel.
“Ah, maybe,” he responded, still confused. He told them to serve God and let them out into the snowy night, through which they drove back to the hotel.
The landlord had kindled a fire on the hearth of the Franklin stove in his parlor, and the blazing hickory snapped in electrical sympathy with the storm when they shut themselves into the bright room, and Bartley took Marcia fondly into his arms.
The landlord had started a fire in the Franklin stove in his living room, and the crackling hickory popped in sync with the storm outside as they settled into the cozy space, and Bartley embraced Marcia affectionately.
“Wife!”
“Wifey!”
“Husband!”
“Babe!”
They sat down before the fire, hand in hand, and talked of the light things that swim to the top, and eddy round and round on the surface of our deepest moods. They made merry over the old minister's perturbation, which Bartley found endlessly amusing. Then he noticed that the dress Marcia had on was the one she had worn to the sociable in Lower Equity, and she said, yes, she had put it on because he once said he liked it. He asked her when, and she said, oh, she knew; but if he could not remember, she was not going to tell him. Then she wanted to know if he recognized her by the dress before she lifted her veil in the station.
They sat down in front of the fire, hand in hand, and chatted about the light topics that come to mind and swirl around our deepest feelings. They joked about the old minister's anxiety, which Bartley found endlessly funny. Then he noticed that Marcia was wearing the same dress she had worn to the gathering in Lower Equity, and she said yes, she had put it on because he once mentioned he liked it. He asked her when that was, and she said, oh, she knew; but if he couldn’t remember, she wasn’t going to tell him. Then she asked if he recognized her by the dress before she lifted her veil at the station.
“No,” he said, with a teasing laugh. “I wasn't thinking of you.”
“No,” he said with a playful laugh. “I wasn’t thinking about you.”
“Oh, Bartley!” she joyfully reproached him. “You must have been!”
“Oh, Bartley!” she playfully scolded him. “You definitely must have been!”
“Yes, I was! I was so mad at you, that I was glad to have that brute of a station-master bullying some woman!”
“Yeah, I was! I was so angry with you that I was actually happy to see that jerk of a station-master pushing around some woman!”
“Bartley!”
“Bartley!”
He sat holding her hand. “Marcia,” he said, gravely, “we must write to your father at once, and tell him. I want to begin life in the right way, and I think it's only fair to him.”
He sat holding her hand. “Marcia,” he said seriously, “we need to write to your dad right away and let him know. I want to start this right, and I think it's only fair to him.”
She was enraptured at his magnanimity. “Bartley! That's like you! Poor father! I declare—Bartley, I'm afraid I had forgotten him! It's dreadful; but—you put everything else out of my head. I do believe I've died and come to life somewhere else!”
She was captivated by his generosity. “Bartley! That's so like you! Poor dad! I can’t believe—I swear, Bartley, I think I forgot about him! It's terrible; but you completely filled my mind. I really feel like I’ve died and come back to life somewhere new!”
“Well, I haven't,” said Bartley, “and I guess you'd better write to your father. You'd better write; at present, he and I are not on speaking terms. Here!” He took out his note-book, and gave her his stylographic pen after striking the fist that held it upon his other fist, in the fashion of the amateurs of that reluctant instrument, in order to bring down the ink.
“Well, I haven't,” said Bartley, “and I think you should write to your father. You should write; right now, he and I aren't on speaking terms. Here!” He pulled out his notebook and handed her his stylus pen after tapping the fist that held it against his other fist, like people do with that tricky instrument, to get the ink flowing.
“Oh, what's that?” she asked.
“Oh, what's that?” she asked.
“It's a new kind of pen. I got it for a notice in the Free Press.”
“It's a new type of pen. I got it for a notice in the Free Press.”
“Is Henry Bird going to edit the paper?”
“Is Henry Bird going to edit the paper?”
“I don't know, and I don't care,” answered Bartley.
“I don't know, and I don't care,” Bartley replied.
“I'll go out and get an envelope, and ask the landlord what's the quickest way to get the letter to your father.”
“I'll go grab an envelope and ask the landlord the fastest way to get the letter to your dad.”
He took up his hat, but she laid her hand on his arm. “Oh, send for him!” she said.
He picked up his hat, but she placed her hand on his arm. “Oh, call him!” she said.
“Are you afraid I sha'n't come back?” he demanded, with a laughing kiss. “I want to see him about something else, too.”
“Are you worried I won’t come back?” he asked, giving a playful kiss. “I want to talk to him about something else, too.”
“Well, don't be gone long.”
"Well, don't take too long."
They parted with an embrace that would have fortified older married people for a year's separation. When Bartley came back, she handed him the leaf she had torn out of his book, and sat down beside him while he read it, with her arm over his shoulder.
They said goodbye with a hug that could have strengthened older married couples for a year's separation. When Bartley returned, she gave him the page she had ripped from his book and sat next to him while he read it, with her arm draped over his shoulder.
“Dear father,” the letter ran, “Bartley and I are married. We were married an hour ago, just across the New Hampshire line, by the Rev. Mr. Jessup. Bartley wants I should let you know the very first thing. I am going to Boston with Bartley to-night, and, as soon as we get settled there, I will write again. I want you should forgive us both; but if you wont forgive Bartley, you mustn't forgive me. You were mistaken about Bartley, and I was right. Bartley has told me everything, and I am perfectly satisfied. Love to mother.
“Dear Dad,” the letter said, “Bartley and I just got married. We tied the knot an hour ago, right across the New Hampshire border, by Rev. Mr. Jessup. Bartley really wants you to know this right away. I'm going to Boston with Bartley tonight, and as soon as we get settled in, I'll write again. I hope you can forgive both of us; but if you can't forgive Bartley, then you can't forgive me either. You were wrong about Bartley, and I was right. Bartley has told me everything, and I’m completely okay with it. Love to Mom.”
“MARCIA.”
“P.S.—I did intend to visit Netty Spaulding. But I saw Bartley driving past on his way to the Junction, and I determined to see him if I could before he started for Boston, and tell him I was all wrong, no matter what he said or did afterwards. I ought to have told you I meant to see Bartley; but then you would not have let me come, and if I had not come, I should have died.”
“P.S.—I did plan to visit Netty Spaulding. But I saw Bartley driving by on his way to the Junction, and I decided to see him if I could before he left for Boston, and tell him I was completely wrong, no matter what he said or did after that. I should have told you I intended to see Bartley; but then you wouldn’t have let me come, and if I hadn’t come, I would have died.”
“There's a good deal of Bartley in it,” said the young man with a laugh.
“There's a lot of Bartley in it,” said the young man with a laugh.
“You don't like it!”
“You don't like it!”
“Yes, I do; it's all right. Did you use to take the prize for composition at boarding-school?”
“Yes, I did; it’s fine. Did you used to win the prize for writing at boarding school?”
“Why, I think it's a very good letter for when I'm in such an excited state.”
“Why, I think it’s a really good letter for when I’m feeling this excited.”
“It's beautiful!” cried Bartley, laughing more and more. The tears started to her eyes.
“It's beautiful!” Bartley exclaimed, laughing harder and harder. Tears began to fill her eyes.
“Marcia,” said her husband fondly, “what a child you are! If ever I do anything to betray your trust in me—”
“Marcia,” her husband said affectionately, “how childlike you are! If I ever do anything to break your trust in me—”
There came a shuffling of feet outside the door, a clinking of glass and crockery, and a jarring sort of blow, as if some one were trying to rap on the panel with the edge of a heavy-laden waiter. Bartley threw the door open and found the landlord there, red and smiling, with the waiter in his hand.
There was a shuffle of feet outside the door, the sound of glass and dishes clinking, and a loud thud, like someone was trying to knock on the door with the edge of an overloaded waiter. Bartley swung the door open and saw the landlord there, flushed and grinning, with the waiter in his hand.
“I thought I'd bring your supper in here, you know,” he explained confidentially, “so 's't you could have it a little more snug. And my wife she kind o' got wind o' what was going on,—women will, you know,” he said with a wink,—“and she's sent ye in some hot biscuit and a little jell, and some of her cake.” He set the waiter down on the table, and stood admiring its mystery of napkined dishes. “She guessed you wouldn't object to some cold chicken, and she's put a little of that on. Sha'n't cost ye any more,” he hastened to assure them. “Now this is your room till the train comes, and there aint agoin' to anybody come in here. So you can make yourselves at home. And I hope you'll enjoy your supper as much as we did ourn the night we was married. There! I guess I'll let the lady fix the table; she looks as if she knowed how.”
“I thought I'd bring your dinner in here, you know,” he said quietly, “so you could enjoy it in a cozier way. And my wife kind of sensed what was happening,—women always know, you know,” he added with a wink,—“and she’s sent you some hot biscuits, a little jelly, and some of her cake.” He placed the tray on the table and stood there admiring the covered dishes. “She figured you wouldn’t mind some cold chicken, so she added a bit of that too. It won’t cost you anything extra,” he quickly reassured them. “Now this is your room until the train arrives, and no one is going to come in here. So make yourselves comfortable. And I hope you enjoy your dinner as much as we did ours the night we got married. There! I think I’ll let the lady set the table; she looks like she knows what she’s doing.”
He got himself out of the room again, and then Marcia, who had made him some embarrassed thanks, burst out in praise of his pleasantness.
He left the room again, and then Marcia, who had awkwardly thanked him, started praising his friendliness.
“Well, he ought to be pleasant,” said Bartley, “he's just beaten me on a horse-trade. I've sold him the colt.”
"Well, he should be in a good mood," said Bartley, "he just outsmarted me in a horse deal. I sold him the colt."
“Sold him the colt!” cried Marcia, tragically dropping the napkin she had lifted from the plate of cold chicken.
“Sold him the colt!” Marcia exclaimed, dramatically dropping the napkin she had taken from the plate of cold chicken.
“Well, we couldn't very well have taken him to Boston with us. And we couldn't have got there without selling him. You know you haven't married a millionnaire, Marcia.”
“Well, we couldn't really have taken him to Boston with us. And we couldn't have gotten there without selling him. You know you haven't married a millionaire, Marcia.”
“How much did you get for the colt?”
“How much did you get for the pony?”
“Oh, I didn't do so badly. I got a hundred and fifty for him.”
“Oh, I didn't do too bad. I got a hundred and fifty for him.”
“And you had fifteen besides.”
"And you had fifteen more."
“That was before we were married. I gave the minister five for you,—I think you are worth it, I wanted to give fifteen.”
“That was before we got married. I gave the minister five for you—I think you’re worth it; I wanted to give fifteen.”
“Well, then, you have a hundred and sixty now. Isn't that a great deal?”
“Well, you have a hundred and sixty now. Isn't that amazing?”
“An everlasting lot,” said Bartley, with an impatient laugh. “Don't let the supper cool, Marcia!”
“An everlasting lot,” Bartley said with an impatient laugh. “Don’t let the dinner get cold, Marcia!”
She silently set out the feast, but regarded it ruefully. “You oughtn't to have ordered so much, Bartley,” she said. “You couldn't afford it.”
She quietly laid out the feast but looked at it with regret. “You shouldn’t have ordered so much, Bartley,” she said. “You can’t afford it.”
“I can afford anything when I'm hungry. Besides. I only ordered the oysters and coffee; all the rest is conscience money—or sentiment—from the landlord. Come, come! cheer up, now! We sha'n't starve to-night, anyhow.”
“I can buy anything when I'm hungry. Besides, I only ordered the oysters and coffee; everything else is just a little extra from the landlord out of guilt or sentiment. Come on, cheer up! We won’t starve tonight, at least.”
“Well, I know father will help us.”
“Well, I know Dad will help us.”
“We sha'n't count on him,” said Bartley. “Now drop it!” He put his arm round her shoulders and pressed her against him, till she raised her face for his kiss.
“We shouldn't count on him,” said Bartley. “Now drop it!” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, until she lifted her face for his kiss.
“Well, I will!” she said, and the shadow lifted itself from their wedding feast, and they sat down and made merry as if they had all the money in the world to spend. They laughed and joked; they praised the things they liked, and made fun of the others.
“Well, I will!” she said, and the shadow faded from their wedding celebration, and they sat down and partied as if they had all the money in the world to spend. They laughed and joked; they praised the things they enjoyed and poked fun at the rest.
“How strange! How perfectly impossible it all seems! Why, last night I was taking supper at Kinney's logging-camp, and hating you at every mouthful with all my might. Everything seemed against me, and I was feeling ugly, and flirting like mad with a fool from Montreal: she had come out there from Portland for a frolic with the owners' party. You made me do it, Marcia!” he cried jestingly. “And remember that, if you want me to be good, you must be kind. The other thing seems to make me worse and worse.”
“How strange! How completely impossible it all feels! Last night, I was having dinner at Kinney's logging camp, and I was cursing you with every bite. Everything felt like it was against me, and I was in a bad mood, flirting like crazy with a fool from Montreal. She had come out there from Portland to party with the owners' group. You made me do it, Marcia!” he said jokingly. “And just remember, if you want me to behave, you need to be nice. The other way just seems to make me worse and worse.”
“I will,—I will, Bartley.” she said humbly. “I will try to be kind and patient with you. I will indeed.”
“I will—I will, Bartley,” she said humbly. “I will try to be kind and patient with you. I really will.”
He threw back his head, and laughed and laughed. “Poor—poor old Kinney! He's the cook, you know, and he thought I'd been making fun of him to that woman, and he behaved so, after they were gone, that I started home in a rage; and he followed me out with his hands all covered with dough, and wanted to stop me, but he couldn't for fear of spoiling my clothes—” He lost himself in another paroxysm.
He threw his head back and laughed and laughed. “Poor, poor old Kinney! He's the cook, you know, and he thought I was making fun of him in front of that woman. After they left, he acted so badly that I stormed home in a rage; he followed me outside with his hands all covered in dough, trying to stop me, but he was too worried about messing up my clothes—” He got lost in another fit of laughter.
Marcia smiled a little. Then, “What sort of a looking person was she?” she tremulously asked.
Marcia smiled slightly. Then, “What did she look like?” she nervously asked.
Bartley stopped abruptly. “Not one ten-thousandth part as good-looking, nor one millionth part as bright, as Marcia Hubbard!” He caught her and smothered her against his breast.
Bartley stopped suddenly. “Not even a tiny fraction as good-looking, or a millionth as bright, as Marcia Hubbard!” He pulled her in and held her tightly against his chest.
“I don't care! I don't care!” she cried. “I was to blame more than you, if you flirted with her, and it serves me right. Yes, I will never say anything to you for anything that happened after I behaved so to you.”
“I don’t care! I don’t care!” she shouted. “I was more to blame than you if you flirted with her, and I deserve it. Yes, I’ll never say anything to you about what happened after I treated you like that.”
“There wasn't anything else happened,” cried Bartley. “And the Montreal woman snubbed me soundly before she was done with me.”
“There wasn't anything else that happened,” Bartley shouted. “And the Montreal woman completely shut me down before she was finished with me.”
“Snubbed you!” exclaimed Marcia, with illogical indignation. This delighted Bartley so much that it was long before he left off laughing over her.
“Snubbed you!” Marcia exclaimed, clearly annoyed. This made Bartley so happy that he couldn't stop laughing about her for a long time.
Then they sat down, and were silent till she said, “And did you leave him in a temper?”
Then they sat down and were quiet until she asked, “So, did you leave him in a bad mood?”
“Who? Kinney? In a perfect devil of a temper. I wouldn't even borrow some money he wanted to lend me.”
“Who? Kinney? He’s in a total rage. I wouldn’t even
“Write to him, Bartley,” said his wife, seriously. “I love you so I can't bear to have anybody bad friends with you.”
“Write to him, Bartley,” his wife said earnestly. “I love you, so I can’t stand the thought of anyone being on bad terms with you.”
XIII.
The whole thing was so crazy, as Bartley said, that it made no difference if they kept up the expense a few days longer. He took a hack from the depot when they arrived in Boston, and drove to the Revere House, instead of going up in the horse-car. He entered his name on the register with a flourish, “Bartley J. Hubbard and Wife, Boston,” and asked for a room and fire, with laconic gruffness; but the clerk knew him at once for a country person, and when the call-boy followed him into the parlor where Marcia sat, in the tremor into which she fell whenever Bartley was out of her sight, the call-boy discerned her provinciality at a glance, and made free to say that he guessed they had better let him take their things up to their room, and come up themselves after the porter had got their fire going.
The whole thing was so wild, as Bartley said, that it didn’t really matter if they kept spending a bit longer. When they got to Boston, he took a cab from the train station and went to the Revere House instead of taking the tram. He signed the register with a flourish, “Bartley J. Hubbard and Wife, Boston,” and asked for a room and a fire in a blunt way; but the clerk immediately recognized him as someone from the countryside. When the bellboy followed him into the parlor where Marcia was sitting—nervous whenever Bartley was out of her sight—the bellboy picked up on her small-town vibe right away and suggested they let him take their things up to their room and come up themselves after the porter got their fire started.
“All right,” said Bartley, with hauteur; and he added, for no reason, “Be quick about it.”
“All right,” Bartley said with arrogance, and he added, for no reason, “Hurry up.”
“Yes, sir,” said the boy.
“Yes, sir,” the boy said.
“What time is supper—dinner, I mean?”
"What time is dinner today?"
“It's ready now, sir.”
"It's ready now, sir."
“Good. Take up the things. Come just as you are, Marcia. Let him take your cap,—no, keep it on; a good many of them come down in their bonnets.”
“Great. Pick up your things. Just come as you are, Marcia. Let him take your cap—no, keep it on; a lot of them come down in their hats.”
Marcia put off her sack and gloves, and hastily repaired the ravages of travel as best she could. She would have liked to go to her room just long enough to brush her hair a little, and the fur cap made her head hot; but she was suddenly afraid of doing something that would seem countrified in Bartley's eyes, and she promptly obeyed: they had come from Portland in a parlor car, and she had been able to make a traveller's toilet before they reached Boston.
Marcia took off her bag and gloves and quickly tried to fix herself up after the journey. She wanted to go to her room just to brush her hair a bit, and the fur hat was making her head hot; but she suddenly worried about doing something that might look rural in Bartley's eyes, so she followed through: they had come from Portland in a parlor car, and she had managed to freshen up before they reached Boston.
She had been at Portland several times with her father; but he stopped at a second-class hotel where he had always “put up” when alone, and she was new to the vastness of hotel mirrors and chandeliers, the glossy paint, the frescoing, the fluted pillars, the tessellated marble pavements upon which she stepped when she left the Brussels carpeting of the parlors. She clung to Bartley's arm, silently praying that she might not do anything to mortify him, and admiring everything he did with all her soul. He made a halt as they entered the glittering dining-room, and stood frowning till the head-waiter ran respectfully up to them, and ushered them with sweeping bows to a table, which they had to themselves. Bartley ordered their dinner with nonchalant ease, beginning with soup and going to black coffee with dazzling intelligence. While their waiter was gone with their order, he beckoned with one finger to another, and sent him out for a paper, which he unfolded and spread on the table, taking a toothpick into his mouth, and running the sheet over with his eyes. “I just want to see what's going on to-night,” he said, without looking at Marcia.
She had been to Portland several times with her father, but he always stayed at a second-class hotel where he had previously lodged alone, and she was still getting used to the huge hotel mirrors and chandeliers, the shiny paint, the frescoes, the fluted columns, and the tiled marble floors she stepped onto after leaving the Brussels carpeting of the lounges. She held onto Bartley's arm, silently hoping she wouldn't embarrass him, and admired everything he did with all her heart. He paused as they entered the sparkling dining room, frowning until the head waiter came over respectfully and guided them with deep bows to a table all to themselves. Bartley ordered their dinner with casual confidence, starting with soup and finishing with black coffee, demonstrating impressive knowledge. While their waiter was away with their order, he signaled for another staff member and sent him out for a newspaper, which he unfolded and spread out on the table while popping a toothpick in his mouth and scanning the page. “I just want to see what's happening tonight,” he said, not looking at Marcia.
She made a little murmur of acquiescence in her throat, but she could not speak for strangeness. She began to steal little timid glances about, and to notice the people at the other tables. In her heart she did not find the ladies so very well dressed as she had expected the Boston ladies to be; and there was no gentleman there to compare with Bartley, either in style or looks. She let her eyes finally dwell on him, wishing that he would put his paper away and say something, but afraid to ask, lest it should not be quite right: all the other gentlemen were reading papers. She was feeling lonesome and homesick, when he suddenly glanced at her and said, “How pretty you look, Marsh!”
She made a soft sound of agreement in her throat, but she couldn’t speak because it felt so strange. She started to take shy little looks around and notice the people at the other tables. Deep down, she didn’t think the women were as well dressed as she had expected Boston ladies to be, and there wasn’t any man there who compared to Bartley, in either style or looks. She eventually let her eyes rest on him, hoping he would put down his paper and say something, but she was scared to ask, thinking it might not be appropriate: all the other men were reading newspapers. She was feeling lonely and homesick when he suddenly looked at her and said, “You look so pretty, Marsh!”
“Do I?” she asked, with a little grateful throb, while her eyes joyfully suffused themselves.
“Do I?” she asked, with a little grateful flutter, as her eyes filled with joy.
“Pretty as a pink,” he returned. “Gay,—isn't it?” he continued, with a wink that took her into his confidence again, from which his study of the newspaper had seemed to exclude her. “I'll tell you what I'm going to do: I'm going to take you to the Museum after dinner, and let you see Boucicault in the 'Colleen Bawn.'” He swept his paper off the table and unfolded his napkin in his lap, and, leaning back in his chair, began to tell her about the play. “We can walk: it's only just round the corner,” he said at the end.
“Pretty in pink,” he replied. “Fun, isn’t it?” he added with a wink that pulled her back into his conversation after the newspaper had distracted him. “Here’s my plan: after dinner, I’m taking you to the Museum to see Boucicault in the 'Colleen Bawn.'” He tossed his paper aside, unfolded his napkin on his lap, and leaned back in his chair to start sharing details about the play. “We can walk there; it’s just around the corner,” he said at the end.
Marcia crept into the shelter of his talk,—he sometimes spoke rather loud,—and was submissively silent. When they got into their own room,—which had gilt lambrequin frames, and a chandelier of three burners, and a marble mantel, and marble-topped table and washstand,—and Bartley turned up the flaring gas, she quite broke down, and cried on his breast, to make sure that she had got him all back again.
Marcia quietly slipped into the comfort of his conversation—he occasionally spoke quite loudly—and remained obediently silent. Once they entered their own room—which had fancy gold-trimmed drapes, a three-bulb chandelier, a marble fireplace mantle, and a marble-topped table and washstand—and Bartley turned up the bright gas light, she completely broke down and cried on his chest, needing to be certain that he was really back with her.
“Why, Marcia!” he said. “I know just how you feel. Don't you suppose I understand as well as you do that we're a country couple? But I'm not going to give myself away; and you mustn't, either. There wasn't a woman in that room that could compare with you,—dress or looks!”
“Why, Marcia!” he said. “I totally get how you feel. Don’t you think I understand just as well as you do that we’re a country couple? But I’m not going to let myself be vulnerable, and you shouldn’t either. There wasn’t a woman in that room who could compare to you—dress or looks!”
“You were splendid,” she whispered, “and just like the rest! and that made me feel somehow as if I had lost you.”
“You were amazing,” she whispered, “and just like everyone else! And that made me feel like I had somehow lost you.”
“I know,—I saw just how you felt; but I wasn't going to say anything for fear you'd give way right there. Come, there's plenty of time before the play begins. I call this nice! Old-fashioned, rather, in the decorations,” he said, “but pretty good for its time.” He had pulled up two arm-chairs in front of the glowing grate of anthracite; as he spoke, he cast his eyes about the room, and she followed his glance obediently. He had kept her hand in his, and now he held her slim finger-tips in the fist which he rested on his knee. “No; I'll tell you what, Marcia, if you want to get on in a city, there's no use being afraid of people. No use being afraid of anything, so long as we're good to each other. And you've got to believe in me right along. Don't you let anything get you on the wrong track. I believe that as long as you have faith in me, I shall deserve it; and when you don't—”
“I know how you felt; but I wasn’t going to say anything because I was afraid you’d break down right there. Come on, there’s plenty of time before the play starts. I think this is nice! A bit old-fashioned in the decorations,” he said, “but pretty good for its time.” He had pulled up two armchairs in front of the warm anthracite fire; as he spoke, he looked around the room, and she followed his gaze. He had kept her hand in his, and now he was holding her slender fingertips in the fist resting on his knee. “No; I’ll tell you what, Marcia, if you want to succeed in a city, you can’t be afraid of people. No point in being scared of anything, as long as we’re good to each other. And you have to trust me all the way. Don’t let anything lead you astray. I believe that as long as you have faith in me, I’ll deserve it; and when you don’t—”
“Oh, Bartley, you know I didn't doubt you! I just got to thinking, and I was a little worked up! I suppose I'm excited.”
“Oh, Bartley, you know I never doubted you! I just started thinking, and I got a bit worked up! I guess I'm just excited.”
“I knew it! I knew it!” cried her husband. “Don't you suppose I understand you?”
“I knew it! I knew it!” her husband shouted. “Don’t you think I get you?”
They talked a long time together, and made each other loving promises of patience. They confessed their faults, and pledged each other that they would try hard to overcome them. They wished to be good; they both felt they had much to retrieve; but they had no concealments, and they knew that was the best way to begin the future, of which they did their best to conceive seriously. Bartley told her his plans about getting some newspaper work till he could complete his law studies. He meant to settle down to practice in Boston. “You have to wait longer for it than you would in a country place; but when you get it, it's worth while.” He asked Marcia whether she would look up his friend Halleck if she were in his place; but he did not give her time to decide. “I guess I won't do it. Not just yet, at any rate. He might suppose that I wanted something of him. I'll call on him when I don't need his help.”
They talked for a long time and made each other loving promises to be patient. They admitted their flaws and committed to trying hard to overcome them. They wanted to be better; they both felt they had a lot to make up for, but they had no secrets, and they knew that was the best way to start fresh. Bartley shared his plans about getting some newspaper work until he could finish his law studies. He intended to settle down and practice in Boston. “You have to wait longer for it than you would in a small town, but when you get it, it's worth it.” He asked Marcia if she would check on his friend Halleck if she were in his shoes, but he didn’t give her time to respond. “I guess I won't do it. Not just yet, anyway. He might think I want something from him. I'll reach out when I don't need his help.”
Perhaps, if they had not planned to go to the theatre, they would have staid where they were, for they were tired, and it was very cosey. But when they were once in the street, they were glad they had come out. Bowdoin Square and Court Street and Tremont Row were a glitter of gas-lights, and those shops, with their placarded bargains, dazzled Marcia.
Maybe if they hadn't planned to go to the theater, they would have stayed where they were, because they were tired and it was really cozy. But once they were in the street, they were glad they had stepped out. Bowdoin Square, Court Street, and Tremont Row were sparkling with gas lights, and those shops with their advertised deals dazzled Marcia.
“Is it one of the principal streets?” she asked Bartley.
“Is it one of the main streets?” she asked Bartley.
He gave the laugh of a veteran habitué of Boston. “Tremont Row? No. Wait till I show you Washington Street to-morrow. There's the Museum,” he said, pointing to the long row of globed lights on the façade of the building. “Here we are in Scollay Square. There's Hanover Street; there's Cornhill; Court crooks down that way; there's Pemberton Square.”
He laughed like a seasoned regular from Boston. “Tremont Row? No. Just wait until I show you Washington Street tomorrow. There's the Museum,” he said, pointing to the long row of globe-shaped lights on the front of the building. “Here we are in Scollay Square. There's Hanover Street; there's Cornhill; Court turns down that way; there's Pemberton Square.”
His familiarity with these names estranged him to her again; she clung the closer to his arm, and caught her breath nervously as they turned in with the crowd that was climbing the stairs to the box-office of the theatre. Bartley left her a moment, while he pushed his way up to the little window and bought the tickets. “First-rate seats,” he said, coming back to her, and taking her hand under his arm again, “and a great piece of luck. They were just returned for sale by the man in front of me, or I should have had to take something 'way up in the gallery. There's a regular jam. These are right in the centre of the parquet.”
His familiarity with these names made her feel distant from him again; she clung tighter to his arm and caught her breath nervously as they joined the crowd climbing the stairs to the theater's box office. Bartley left her for a moment to push his way up to the small window and buy the tickets. “Great seats,” he said as he returned to her, taking her hand under his arm again, “and a stroke of luck. They were just returned for sale by the guy in front of me, or I would’ve had to settle for something way up in the gallery. It’s a real crush. These are right in the middle of the orchestra.”
Marcia did not know what the parquet was; she heard its name with the certainty that but for Bartley she should not be equal to it. All her village pride was quelled; she had only enough self-control to act upon Bartley's instructions not to give herself away by any conviction of rusticity. They passed in through the long, colonnaded vestibule, with its paintings, and plaster casts, and rows of birds and animals in glass cases on either side, and she gave scarcely a glance at any of those objects, endeared by association, if not by intrinsic beauty, to the Boston play-goer. Gulliver, with the Liliputians swarming upon him; the painty-necked ostriches and pelicans; the mummied mermaid under a glass bell; the governors' portraits; the stuffed elephant; Washington crossing the Delaware; Cleopatra applying the asp; Sir William Pepperell, at full length, on canvas; and the pagan months and seasons in plaster,—if all these are, indeed, the subjects,—were dim phantasmagoria amid which she and Bartley moved scarcely more real. The usher, in his dress-coat, ran up the aisle to take their checks, and led them down to their seats; half a dozen elegant people stood to let them into their places; the theatre was filled with faces. At Portland, where she saw the “Lady of Lyons,” with her father, three-quarters of the house was empty.
Marcia didn’t know what the parquet was; she heard the name with the certainty that, without Bartley, she wouldn’t have been able to handle it. All her village pride was suppressed; she had just enough self-control to follow Bartley’s advice not to reveal any signs of her rural background. They walked through the long, colonnaded entrance, filled with paintings, plaster casts, and rows of birds and animals in glass cases on either side. She barely glanced at any of those items, cherished by association, if not by their actual beauty, to the Boston theatergoer. Gulliver, with the Lilliputians crowding around him; the colorful-necked ostriches and pelicans; the mummified mermaid under a glass dome; the governors’ portraits; the stuffed elephant; Washington crossing the Delaware; Cleopatra with the asp; Sir William Pepperell in a full-length portrait; and the pagan months and seasons in plaster—if these were indeed the subjects—seemed like dim phantoms among which she and Bartley moved, hardly more real. The usher, in his dress coat, rushed up the aisle to take their tickets and led them to their seats; half a dozen stylish people stood to let them into their places; the theater was filled with faces. In Portland, where she saw the “Lady of Lyons” with her father, three-quarters of the house was empty.
Bartley only had time to lean over and whisper, “The place is packed with Beacon Street swells,—it's a regular field night,”—when the bell tinkled and the curtain rose.
Bartley only had time to lean over and whisper, “The place is filled with Beacon Street socialites,—it's a real party night,”—when the bell rang and the curtain went up.
As the play went on, the rich jacqueminot-red flamed into her cheeks, and burnt there a steady blaze to the end. The people about her laughed and clapped, and at times they seemed to be crying. But Marcia sat through every part as stoical as a savage, making no sign, except for the flaming color in her cheeks, of interest or intelligence. Bartley talked of the play all the way home, but she said nothing, and in their own room he asked: “Didn't you really like it? Were you disappointed? I haven't been able to get a word out of you about it. Didn't you like Boucicault?”
As the play continued, the rich jacqueminot-red color flushed into her cheeks, burning there with a steady glow until the end. The people around her laughed and clapped, and at times it seemed like they were crying. But Marcia remained as stoic as a statue throughout, showing no signs of interest or understanding except for the bright color in her cheeks. Bartley talked about the play all the way home, but she didn’t say anything. Once they were in their room, he asked, “Didn’t you really like it? Were you disappointed? I haven’t been able to get a word out of you about it. Didn’t you like Boucicault?”
“I didn't know which he was,” she answered, with impassioned exaltation. “I didn't care for him. I only thought of that poor girl, and her husband who despised her—”
“I didn't know which one he was,” she replied, with passionate excitement. “I didn't care about him. I only thought of that poor girl and her husband who looked down on her—”
She stopped. Bartley looked at her a moment, and then caught her to him and fell a-laughing over her, till it seemed as if he never would end. “And you thought—you thought,” he cried, trying to get his breath,—“you thought you were Eily, and I was Hardress Cregan! Oh, I see, I see!” He went on making a mock and a burlesque of her tragical hallucination till she laughed with him at last. When he put his hand up to turn out the gas, he began his joking afresh. “The real thing for Hardress to do,” he said, fumbling for the key, “is to blow it out. That's what Hardress usually does when he comes up from the rural districts with Eily on their bridal tour. That finishes off Eily, without troubling Danny Mann. The only drawback is that it finishes off Hardress, too: they're both found suffocated in the morning.”
She stopped. Bartley looked at her for a moment, then pulled her close and started laughing so hard it seemed like he’d never stop. “And you thought—you thought,” he said, trying to catch his breath—“you thought you were Eily, and I was Hardress Cregan! Oh, I get it, I get it!” He continued to make fun of her dramatic misconception until she finally laughed along with him. When he raised his hand to turn off the gas, he started joking again. “The real thing for Hardress to do,” he said, fumbling for the key, “is to blow it out. That’s what Hardress usually does when he comes up from the countryside with Eily on their honeymoon. That takes care of Eily, without bothering Danny Mann. The only downside is that it takes care of Hardress too: they’re both found dead in the morning.”
XIV.
The next day, after breakfast, while they stood together before the parlor fire, Bartley proposed one plan after another for spending the day. Marcia rejected them all, with perfectly recovered self-composure.
The next day, after breakfast, while they stood together in front of the living room fire, Bartley suggested one idea after another for how to spend the day. Marcia turned them all down, maintaining her completely restored composure.
“Then what shall we do?” he asked, at last.
“Then what should we do?” he asked, finally.
“Oh, I don't know,” she answered, rather absently. She added, after an interval, smoothing the warm front of her dress, and putting her foot on the fender, “What did those theatre-tickets cost?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” she replied, somewhat distracted. After a moment, while smoothing the warm front of her dress and resting her foot on the fender, she asked, “What did those theater tickets cost?”
“Two dollars,” he replied carelessly. “Why?”
“Two dollars,” he said nonchalantly. “Why?”
Marcia gasped. “Two dollars! Oh, Bartley, we couldn't afford it!”
Marcia gasped. “Two dollars! Oh, Bartley, we can’t afford that!”
“It seems we did.”
"We did, it seems."
“And here,—how much are we paying here?”
“And here—how much are we paying here?”
“That room, with fire,” said Bartley, stretching himself, “is seven dollars a day—”
“That room, with a fireplace,” Bartley said, stretching out, “is seven dollars a day—”
“We mustn't stay another instant!” said Marcia, all a woman's terror of spending money on anything but dress, all a wife's conservative instinct, rising within her. “How much have you got left?”
“We can't stay another second!” said Marcia, all the fear a woman has about spending money on anything but clothes, all the cautious instincts of a wife rising within her. “How much do you have left?”
Bartley took out his pocket-book and counted over the bills in it. “A hundred and twenty dollars.”
Bartley pulled out his wallet and counted the cash inside. “One hundred and twenty dollars.”
“Why, what has become of it all? We had a hundred and sixty!”
“Why, what happened to it all? We had a hundred and sixty!”
“Well, our railroad tickets were nineteen, the sleeping-car was three, the parlor-car was three, the theatre was two, the hack was fifty cents, and we'll have to put down the other two and a half to refreshments.”
“Well, our train tickets were nineteen, the sleeper car was three, the lounge car was three, the theater was two, the cab fare was fifty cents, and we’ll need to add the other two and a half for snacks.”
Marcia listened in dismay. At the end she drew a long breath. “Well, we must go away from here as soon as possible,—that I know. We'll go out and find some boarding-place. That's the first thing.”
Marcia listened in shock. When she finished, she took a deep breath. “Well, we need to leave here as soon as we can—I know that. Let's go out and find a place to stay. That's our first priority.”
“Oh, now, Marcia, you're not going to be so severe as that, are you?” pleaded Bartley. “A few dollars, more or less, are not going to keep us out of the poorhouse. I just want to stay here three days: that will leave us a clean hundred, and we can start fair.” He was half joking, but she was wholly serious.
“Oh, come on, Marcia, you’re not really going to be that strict, are you?” pleaded Bartley. “A few dollars here and there aren’t going to land us in the poorhouse. I just want to stay here for three days; that would leave us with a clean hundred, and we can start fresh.” He was half joking, but she was completely serious.
“No, Bartley! Not another hour,—not another minute! Come!” She took his arm and bent it up into a crook, where she put her hand, and pulled him toward the door.
“No, Bartley! Not another hour— not another minute! Come on!” She took his arm, bent it up into a crook, placed her hand there, and pulled him toward the door.
“Well, after all,” he said, “it will be some fun looking up a room.”
“Well, after all,” he said, “it’ll be fun to find a room.”
There was no one else in the parlor; in going to the door they took some waltzing steps together.
There was no one else in the living room; as they walked to the door, they did a few waltzing steps together.
While she dressed to go out, he looked up places where rooms were let with or without board, in the newspaper. “There don't seem to be a great many,” he said meditatively, bending over the open sheet. But he cut out half a dozen advertisements with his editorial scissors, and they started upon their search.
While she got ready to go out, he browsed the newspaper for places that rented rooms with or without meals. “There don’t seem to be many,” he said thoughtfully, leaning over the open page. But he clipped out half a dozen ads with his scissors, and they set off on their search.
They climbed those pleasant old up-hill streets that converge to the State House, and looked into the houses on the quiet Places that stretch from one thoroughfare to another. They had decided that they would be content with two small rooms, one for a chamber, and the other for a parlor, where they could have a fire. They found exactly what they wanted in the first house where they applied, one flight up, with sunny windows, looking down the street; but it made Marcia's blood run cold when the landlady said that the price was thirty dollars a week. At another place the rooms were only twenty; the position was as good, and the carpet and furniture prettier. This was still too dear, but it seemed comparatively reasonable till it appeared that this was the price without board.
They walked up the charming old streets leading to the State House and peeked into the homes lining the quiet squares that stretch from one busy street to another. They had decided they'd be happy with two small rooms, one for a bedroom and the other for a living room where they could have a fire. They found exactly what they were looking for in the first house they checked out, just one flight up, with sunny windows overlooking the street; but Marcia felt a chill when the landlady mentioned the rent was thirty dollars a week. At another place, the rooms were only twenty; the location was just as good, and the carpet and furniture were nicer. This was still too expensive, but it seemed somewhat reasonable until they learned that this price didn't include meals.
“I think we should prefer rooms with board, shouldn't we?” asked Bartley, with a sly look at Marcia.
“I think we should go for rooms with meals included, don’t you?” Bartley asked, shooting a sly glance at Marcia.
The prices were of all degrees of exorbitance, and they varied for no reason from house to house; one landlady had been accustomed to take more and another less, but never little enough for Marcia, who overruled Bartley again and again when he wished to close with some small abatement of terms. She declared now that they must put up with one room, and they must not care what floor it was on. But the cheapest room with board was fourteen dollars a week, and Marcia had fixed her ideal at ten: even that was too high for them.
The prices were all over the place and varied from one house to another for no apparent reason; one landlady charged more, while another charged less, but it was never low enough for Marcia, who repeatedly shot down Bartley whenever he tried to negotiate a small reduction in terms. She insisted they had to settle for just one room, no matter what floor it was on. However, the cheapest room with meals was fourteen dollars a week, and Marcia had set her ideal at ten; even that was too much for them.
“The best way will be to go back to the Revere House, at seven dollars a day,” said Bartley. He had lately been leaving the transaction of the business entirely to Marcia, who had rapidly acquired alertness and decision in it.
“The best option is to head back to the Revere House, at seven dollars a day,” said Bartley. He had recently been leaving all the business dealings to Marcia, who had quickly become sharp and decisive in her approach.
She could not respond to his joke. “What is there left?” she asked.
She couldn’t reply to his joke. “What’s left?” she asked.
“There isn't anything left,” he said. “We've got to the end.”
“There’s nothing left,” he said. “We’ve reached the end.”
They stood on the edge of the pavement and looked up and down the street, and then, by a common impulse, they looked at the house opposite, where a placard in the window advertised, “Apartments to Let—to Gentlemen only.”
They stood on the sidewalk and looked up and down the street, and then, by a shared impulse, they glanced at the house across the way, where a sign in the window said, “Rooms for Rent—Gentlemen Only.”
“It would be of no use asking there,” murmured Marcia, in sad abstraction.
“It wouldn’t help to ask there,” Marcia said softly, lost in thought.
“Well, let's go over and try,” said her husband. “They can't do more than turn us out of doors.”
“Well, let’s go over and give it a shot,” said her husband. “They can’t do more than kick us out.”
“I know it won't be of any use,” Marcia sighed, as people do when they hope to gain something by forbidding themselves hope. But she helplessly followed, and stood at the foot of the door-steps while he ran up and rang.
“I know it won't help,” Marcia sighed, like people do when they want to gain something by denying themselves hope. But she followed helplessly and stood at the bottom of the steps while he ran up and rang the bell.
It was evidently the woman of the house who came to the door and shrewdly scanned them.
It was clearly the woman of the house who came to the door and carefully looked them over.
“I see you have apartments to let,” said Bartley.
“I see you have apartments available,” said Bartley.
“Well, yes,” admitted the woman, as if she considered it useless to deny it, “I have.”
“Well, yes,” the woman admitted, as if she thought it pointless to deny it, “I have.”
“I should like to look at them,” returned Bartley, with promptness. “Come, Marcia.” And, reinforced by her, he invaded the premises before the landlady had time to repel him. “I'll tell you what we want,” he continued, turning into the little reception-room at the side of the door, “and if you haven't got it, there's no need to trouble you. We want a fair-sized room, anywhere between the cellar-floor and the roof, with a bed and a stove and a table in it, that sha'n't cost us more than ten dollars a week, with board.”
“I want to take a look at them,” Bartley replied quickly. “Come on, Marcia.” With her by his side, he entered the place before the landlady could stop him. “Here’s what we’re looking for,” he said, stepping into the small reception room next to the door. “If you don’t have it, there’s no need to worry. We’re looking for a decent-sized room, anywhere from the basement to the top floor, with a bed, a stove, and a table, all for no more than ten dollars a week, including meals.”
“Set down,” said the landlady, herself setting the example by sinking into the rocking-chair behind her and beginning to rock while she made a brief study of the intruders. “Want it for yourselves?”
“Sit down,” said the landlady, demonstrating by sinking into the rocking chair behind her and starting to rock while she took a quick look at the newcomers. “Do you want it for yourselves?”
“Yes,” said Bartley.
“Yes,” Bartley replied.
“Well,” returned the landlady, “I always have preferred single gentlemen.”
“Well,” the landlady replied, “I’ve always preferred single men.”
“I inferred as much from a remark which you made in your front window,” said Bartley, indicating the placard.
“I figured that out from something you said in your front window,” said Bartley, pointing to the sign.
The landlady smiled. They were certainly a very pretty-appearing young couple, and the gentleman was evidently up-and-coming. Mrs. Nash liked Bartley, as most people of her grade did, at once. “It's always be'n my exper'ence,” she explained, with the lazily rhythmical drawl in which most half-bred New-Englanders speak, “that I seemed to get along rather better with gentlemen. They give less trouble—as a general rule,” she added, with a glance at Marcia, as if she did not deny that there were exceptions, and Marcia might be a striking one.
The landlady smiled. They were definitely a very good-looking young couple, and the gentleman seemed to be going places. Mrs. Nash liked Bartley, just like most people in her circle did, right away. “In my experience,” she explained, with the lazy, rhythmic drawl typical of many half-bred New-Englanders, “I’ve always found that I tend to get along better with gentlemen. They usually cause less trouble,” she added, glancing at Marcia, as if to acknowledge that there were exceptions, and Marcia might be one of the most notable.
Bartley seized his advantage. “Well, my wife hasn't been married long enough to be unreasonable. I guess you'd get along.”
Bartley took his chance. “Well, my wife hasn’t been married long enough to be difficult. I think you two would get along.”
They both laughed, and Marcia, blushing, joined them.
They both laughed, and Marcia, feeling shy, joined in.
“Well, I thought when you first come up the steps you hadn't been married—well, not a great while,” said the landlady.
“Well, I thought when you first came up the steps you hadn't been married—well, not for a great while,” said the landlady.
“No,” said Bartley. “It seems a good while to my wife; but we were only married day before yesterday.”
“No,” Bartley said. “It feels like a long time to my wife, but we just got married the day before yesterday.”
“The land!” cried Mrs. Nash.
"Land!" cried Mrs. Nash.
“Bartley!” whispered Marcia, in soft upbraiding.
“Bartley!” Marcia whispered softly, scolding him gently.
“What? Well, say last week, then. We were married last week, and we've come to Boston to seek our fortune.”
“What? Well, let's say it was last week, then. We got married last week, and we’ve come to Boston to make our fortune.”
His wit overjoyed Mrs. Nash. “You'll find Boston an awful hard place to get along,” she said, shaking her head with a warning smile.
His humor delighted Mrs. Nash. “You’ll find Boston a really difficult place to navigate,” she said, shaking her head with a cautionary smile.
“I shouldn't think so, by the price Boston people ask for their rooms,” returned Bartley. “If I had rooms to let, I should get along pretty easily.”
“I don't think so, based on the prices people in Boston charge for their rooms,” Bartley replied. “If I had rooms to rent, I'd manage pretty well.”
This again delighted the landlady. “I guess you aint goin' to get out of spirits, anyway,” she said. “Well,” she continued, “I have got a room 't I guess would suit you. Unexpectedly vacated.” She seemed to recur to the language of an advertisement in these words, which she pronounced as if reading them. “It's pretty high up,” she said, with another warning shake of the head.
This made the landlady happy again. “I guess you’re not going to lose your spirits, anyway,” she said. “Well,” she continued, “I do have a room that I think would suit you. It just became available.” She seemed to fall back into the tone of an advertisement with these words, which she said as if she were reading them. “It’s quite high up,” she added, shaking her head again as a warning.
“Stairs to get to it?” asked Bartley.
“Stairs to get there?” Bartley asked.
“Plenty of stairs.”
“Lots of stairs.”
“Well, when a place is pretty high up, I like to have plenty of stairs to get to it. I guess we'll see it, Marcia.” He rose.
“Well, when a place is up high, I like to have plenty of stairs to get there. I guess we’ll check it out, Marcia.” He stood up.
“Well, I'll just go up and see if it's fit to be seen, first,” said the landlady.
“Well, I'll just go up and see if it's fit to be seen, first,” said the landlady.
“Oh, Bartley!” said Marcia, when she had left them alone, “how could you joke so about our just being married!”
“Oh, Bartley!” Marcia said after she had left them alone, “how could you joke like that about us just getting married!”
“Well, I saw she wanted awfully to ask. And anybody can tell by looking at us, anyway. We can't keep that to ourselves, any more than we can our greenness. Besides, it's money in our pockets; she'll take something off our board for it, you'll see. Now, will you manage the bargaining from this on? I stepped forward because the rooms were for gentlemen only.”
“Well, I saw she really wanted to ask. And anyone can tell just by looking at us. We can’t keep that secret any more than we can hide our inexperience. Plus, it’s money in our pockets; she’ll take something off our bill for it, you'll see. Now, will you handle the negotiating from here on? I stepped forward because the rooms were for gentlemen only.”
“I guess I'd better,” said Marcia.
“I guess I should,” said Marcia.
“All right; then I'll take a back seat from this out.”
“All right; then I'll step back from this point on.”
“Oh, I do hope it won't be too much!” sighed the young wife. “I'm so tired, looking.”
“Oh, I really hope it won't be too much!” sighed the young wife. “I'm so tired from looking.”
“You can come right along up,” the landlady called down through the oval spire formed by the ascending hand-rail of the stairs.
“You can come right up,” the landlady called down through the oval shape made by the ascending handrail of the stairs.
They found her in a broad, low room, whose ceiling sloped with the roof, and had the pleasant irregularity of the angles and recessions of two dormer windows. The room was clean and cosey; there was a table, and a stove that could be used open or shut; Marcia squeezed Bartley's arm to signify that it would do perfectly—if only the price would suit.
They found her in a spacious, low room with a ceiling that sloped with the roof, featuring the charming unevenness of two dormer windows. The room was clean and cozy; there was a table and a stove that could be used either open or closed. Marcia squeezed Bartley's arm to indicate that it would work perfectly—if only the price was right.
The landlady stood in the middle of the floor and lectured: “Now, there! I get five dollars a week for this room; and I gen'ly let it to two gentlemen. It's just been vacated by two gentlemen unexpectedly; and it's hard to get gentlemen at this time the year; and that's the reason I thought of takin' you. As I say, I don't much like ladies for inmates, and so I put in the window 'for gentlemen only.' But it's no use bein' too particular; I can't have the room layin' empty on my hands. If it suits you, you can have it for four dollars. It's high up, and there's no use tryin' to deny it. But there aint such another view as them winders commands anywheres. You can see the harbor, and pretty much the whole coast.”
The landlady stood in the middle of the floor and said, “Listen up! I get five dollars a week for this room, and I usually rent it to two gentlemen. It just became vacant unexpectedly, and it's tough to find gentlemen at this time of year, so that's why I thought of taking you. As I said, I don't really like having ladies as tenants, which is why I put up the sign 'for gentlemen only.' But I can't be too picky; I can’t let the room sit empty. If it works for you, you can have it for four dollars. It's high up, and there's no denying that. But the view from those windows is unbeatable. You can see the harbor and pretty much the entire coastline.”
“Anything extra for the view?” said Bartley, glancing out.
“Is there anything else to see?” Bartley asked, looking outside.
“No, I throw that in.”
“No, I’ll handle that.”
“Does the price include gas and fire?” asked Marcia, sharpened as to all details by previous interviews.
“Does the price cover gas and fire?” asked Marcia, now attentive to every detail from past interviews.
“It includes the gas, but it don't include the fire,” said the landlady, firmly. “And it's pretty low at that, as you've found out, I guess.”
“It includes the gas, but it doesn't include the fire,” said the landlady, firmly. “And it's pretty low at that, as you’ve found out, I guess.”
“Yes, it is low,” said Marcia. “Bartley, I think we'd better take it.”
“Yes, it is low,” Marcia said. “Bartley, I think we should take it.”
She looked at him timidly, as if she were afraid he might not think it good enough; she did not think it good enough for him, but she felt that they must make their money go as far as possible.
She looked at him nervously, as if she was worried he might not find it acceptable; she didn’t believe it was good enough for him, but she felt they needed to stretch their money as much as they could.
“All right!” he said. “Then it's a bargain.”
“All right!” he said. “Then it’s a deal.”
“And how much more will the board be?”
“And how much more will the board cost?”
“Well, there,” the landlady said, with candor, “I don't know as I can meet your views. I don't ever give board. But there's plenty of houses right on the street here where you can get day-board from four dollars a week up.”
“Well, there,” the landlady said honestly, “I don’t think I can meet your needs. I don’t offer meals. But there are plenty of houses right on this street where you can get meals for four dollars a week and up.”
“Oh, dear!” sighed Marcia; “and that would make it twelve dollars!”
“Oh, no!” sighed Marcia; “so that makes it twelve dollars!”
“Why, the dear suz, child!” exclaimed the landlady, “you didn't expect to get it for less?”
“Why, dear suz, child!” the landlady exclaimed, “you didn't think you could get it for less?”
“We must,” said Marcia.
"We have to," said Marcia.
“Then you'll have to go to a mechanics' boardin'-house.”
“Then you'll have to go to a mechanics' boarding house.”
“I suppose we shall,” she returned, dejectedly. Bartley whistled.
“I guess we will,” she replied, feeling down. Bartley whistled.
“Look here,” said the landlady, “aint you from Down East, some'eres?”
“Look here,” said the landlady, “aren’t you from Down East, somewhere?”
Marcia started, as if the woman had recognized them. “Yes.” she said.
Marcia jumped, as if the woman had noticed them. “Yes,” she said.
“Well, now,” said Mrs. Nash, “I'm from down Maine way myself, and I'll tell you what I should do, if I was in your place. You don't want much of anything tor breakfast or tea; you can boil you an egg on the stove here, and you can make your own tea or coffee; and if I was you, I'd go out for my dinners to an eatin'-house. I heard some my lodgers tellin' how they done. Well, I heard the very gentlemen that occupied this room sayin' how they used to go to an eatin'-house, and one 'd order one thing, and another another, and then they'd halve it between 'em, and make out a first-rate meal for about a quarter apiece. Plenty of places now where they give you a cut o'lamb or rib-beef for a shillin', and they bring you bread and butter and potato with it; an' it's always enough for two. That's what they said. I haint never tried it myself; but as long as you haint got anybody but yourselves to care for, there aint any reason why you shouldn't.”
“Well, now,” said Mrs. Nash, “I’m from down Maine way myself, and I’ll tell you what I would do if I were in your shoes. You don’t need much for breakfast or tea; you can boil an egg on the stove here, and you can make your own tea or coffee. If I were you, I’d go out for dinner at a diner. I heard some of my lodgers talking about it. I even heard the gentlemen who occupied this room saying how they used to go to a diner, and one would order one thing, and another would order something else, and then they’d share it, creating a great meal for about a quarter each. There are plenty of places now where they give you a cut of lamb or rib beef for a shilling, and they bring you bread, butter, and potatoes with it; and it’s always enough for two. That’s what they said. I’ve never tried it myself, but as long as you don’t have anyone else to take care of, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t.”
They looked at each other.
They exchanged glances.
“Well,” added the landlady for a final touch, “say fire. That stove won't burn a great deal, anyway.”
“Well,” the landlady added for emphasis, “say fire. That stove won't burn much, anyway.”
“All right,” said Bartley, “we'll take the room—for a month, at least.”
“All right,” Bartley said, “we'll take the room—for at least a month.”
Mrs. Nash looked a little embarrassed. If she had made some concession to the liking she had conceived for this pretty young couple, she could not risk everything. “I always have to get the first week in advance—where there ain't no reference,” she suggested.
Mrs. Nash looked a bit embarrassed. If she had shown any leniency towards the feelings she had developed for this charming young couple, she couldn't risk everything. “I always need the first week’s rent upfront—especially without any references,” she suggested.
“Of course,” said Bartley, and he took out his pocket-book, which he had a boyish satisfaction in letting her see was well filled. “Now, Marcia,” he continued, looking at his watch, “I'll just run over to the hotel, and give up our room before they get us in for dinner.”
“Of course,” Bartley said, pulling out his wallet, feeling a youthful pride in showing her that it was well-stocked. “Now, Marcia,” he went on, glancing at his watch, “I’ll quickly head over to the hotel and cancel our room before they start serving dinner.”
Marcia accepted Mrs. Nash's invitation to come and sit with her till the chill was off the room; and she borrowed a pen and paper of her to write home. The note she sent was brief: she was not going to seem to ask anything of her father. But she was going to do what was right; she told him where she was, and she sent her love to her mother. She would not speak of her things; he might send them or not, as he chose; but she knew he would. This was the spirit of her letter, and her training had not taught her to soften and sweeten her phrase; but no doubt the old man, who was like her, would understand that she felt no compunction for what she had done, and that she loved him though she still defied him.
Marcia accepted Mrs. Nash's invitation to sit with her until the chill in the room faded. She borrowed a pen and paper from her to write home. The note she sent was short: she didn’t want to seem like she was asking anything of her father. But she was going to do what was right; she told him where she was and sent her love to her mother. She wouldn't mention her belongings; he could send them or not, as he wished; but she knew he would. This was the gist of her letter, and her upbringing hadn’t taught her to soften her words; but no doubt the old man, who was like her, would understand that she felt no guilt for what she had done, and that she loved him even while she still defied him.
Bartley did not ask her what her letter was when she demanded a stamp of him on his return; but he knew. He inquired of Mrs. Nash where these cheap eating-houses were to be found, and he posted the letter in the first box they came to, merely saying, “I hope you haven't been asking any favors, Marsh?”
Bartley didn't ask her about her letter when she insisted he stamp it on his return; but he knew. He asked Mrs. Nash where to find those inexpensive diners, and he dropped the letter in the first mailbox they encountered, simply saying, "I hope you haven't been asking for any favors, Marsh?"
“No, indeed.”
“No way.”
“Because I couldn't stand that.”
“Because I couldn't handle that.”
Marcia had never dined in a restaurant, and she was somewhat bewildered by the one into which they turned. There was a great show of roast, and steak, and fish, and game, and squash and cranberry-pie in the window, and at the door a tack was driven through a mass of bills of fare, two of which Bartley plucked off as they entered, with a knowing air, and then threw on the floor when he found the same thing on the table. The table had a marble top, and a silver-plated castor in the centre. The plates were laid with a coarse red doily in a cocked hat on each, and a thinly plated knife and fork crossed beneath it; the plates were thick and heavy; the handle as well as the blade of the knife was metal, and silvered. Besides the castor, there was a bottle of Leicestershire sauce on the table, and salt in what Marcia thought a pepper-box; the marble was of an unctuous translucence in places, and showed the course of the cleansing napkin on its smeared surface. The place was hot, and full of confused smells of cooking; all the tables were crowded, so that they found places with difficulty, and pale, plain girls, of the Provincial and Irish-American type, in fashionable bangs and pull-backs, went about taking the orders, which they wailed out toward a semicircular hole opening upon a counter at the farther end of the room; there they received the dishes ordered, and hurried with them to the customers, before whom they laid them with a noisy clacking of the heavy crockery. A great many of the people seemed to be taking hulled corn and milk; baked beans formed another favorite dish, and squash-pie was in large request. Marcia was not critical; roast turkey for Bartley and stewed chicken for herself, with cranberry-pie for both, seemed to her a very good and sufficient dinner, and better than they ought to have had. She asked Bartley if this were anything like Parker's; he had always talked to her about Parker's.
Marcia had never eaten in a restaurant, and she was a bit confused by the one they entered. There was a big display of roast meats, steak, fish, game, squash, and cranberry pie in the window, and at the door, a tack was stuck through a bunch of menus, two of which Bartley grabbed as they walked in, acting like he knew what he was doing, only to toss them on the floor when he saw the same items on the table. The table had a marble top and a silver-plated condiment holder in the center. The plates were set with a coarse red doily in a little hat shape on each, with a thin metal knife and fork crossed underneath; the plates were thick and heavy, and both the handle and blade of the knife were metal and silver-plated. Besides the condiment holder, there was a bottle of Worcestershire sauce on the table, and salt in what Marcia thought was a pepper shaker; the marble had a smooth, semi-transparent quality in places and showed the mark of a cleaning cloth on its smeared surface. The place was hot and full of mixed cooking smells; all the tables were packed, so they had a hard time finding seats, and pale, simple girls of the provincial and Irish-American type, sporting trendy bangs and pulled-back hairstyles, moved around taking orders, which they loudly shouted toward a semicircular opening leading to a counter at the back of the room; there, they picked up the ordered dishes and rushed back to customers, placing them down with a loud clattering of the heavy dishes. Many people seemed to be having hulled corn and milk; baked beans were another popular dish, and squash pie was in high demand. Marcia wasn't picky; roast turkey for Bartley and stewed chicken for herself, with cranberry pie for both, seemed like a very good and adequate dinner, even better than they should have had. She asked Bartley if this was anything like Parker's; he always talked to her about Parker's.
“Well, Marcia,” he said, folding up his doily, which does not betray use like the indiscreet white napkin, “I'll just take you round and show you the outside of Parker's, and some day we'll go there and get dinner.”
“Well, Marcia,” he said, folding up his doily, which doesn’t give away its use like the obvious white napkin, “I’ll just take you around and show you the outside of Parker's, and one day we’ll go there and have dinner.”
He not only showed her Parker's, but the City Hall; they walked down School Street, and through Washington as far as Boylston: and Bartley pointed out the Old South, and brought Marcia home by the Common, where they stopped to see the boys coasting under the care of the police, between two long lines of spectators.
He not only showed her Parker's but also City Hall; they walked down School Street and through Washington all the way to Boylston. Bartley pointed out the Old South and took Marcia home by the Common, where they paused to watch the boys sledding under the watchful eye of the police, surrounded by two long lines of spectators.
“The State House,” said Bartley, with easy command of the facts, and, pointing in the several directions; “Beacon Street; Public Garden; Back Bay.”
“The State House,” Bartley said, confidently presenting the facts as he pointed in various directions, “Beacon Street; Public Garden; Back Bay.”
She came home to Mrs. Nash joyfully admiring the city, but admiring still more her husband's masterly knowledge of it.
She came home to find Mrs. Nash happily admiring the city, but even more impressed by her husband's impressive knowledge of it.
Mrs. Nash was one of those people who partake intimately of the importance of the place in which they live; to whom it is sufficient splendor and prosperity to be a Bostonian, or New-Yorker, or Chicagoan, and who experience a delicious self-flattery in the celebration of the municipal grandeur. In his degree, Bartley was of this sort, and he exchanged compliments of Boston with Mrs. Nash, till they grew into warm favor with each other.
Mrs. Nash was one of those people who deeply appreciate the significance of the place where they live; for whom just being a Bostonian, New Yorker, or Chicagoan is a source of pride and success, and who feel a satisfying sense of self-importance in celebrating their city's greatness. Bartley was somewhat like her, and he exchanged kind words about Boston with Mrs. Nash until they developed a warm friendship.
After a while, he said he must go up-stairs and do some writing; and then he casually dropped the fact that he was an editor, and that he had come to Boston to get an engagement on a newspaper; he implied that he had come to take one.
After a bit, he said he needed to go upstairs and do some writing; then he casually mentioned that he was an editor and that he had come to Boston to land a job at a newspaper; he suggested that he was there to secure one.
“Well,” said Mrs. Nash, smoothing the back of the cat, which she had in her lap, “I guess there ain't anything like our Boston papers. And they say this new one—the 'Daily Events'—is goin' to take the lead. You acquainted any with our Boston editors?”
“Well,” said Mrs. Nash, petting the cat in her lap, “I guess there’s nothing like our Boston papers. And they say this new one—the 'Daily Events'—is going to take the lead. Do you know any of our Boston editors?”
Bartley hemmed. “Well—I know the proprietor of the Events.”
Bartley hesitated. “Well—I know the owner of the Events.”
“Ah, yes: Mr. Witherby. Well, they say he's got the money. I hear my lodgers talkin' about that paper consid'able. I haven't ever seen it.”
“Ah, yes: Mr. Witherby. Well, they say he's got money. I hear my renters talking about that paper a lot. I’ve never seen it.”
Bartley now went up-stairs; he had an idea in his head. Marcia remained with Mrs. Nash a few moments. “He's been in Boston before,” she said, with proud satisfaction; “he visited here when he was in college.”
Bartley went upstairs; he had an idea in his head. Marcia stayed with Mrs. Nash for a moment. “He’s been to Boston before,” she said, with proud satisfaction; “he visited here when he was in college.”
“Law, is he college-bred?” cried Mrs. Nash. “Well, I thought he looked 'most too wide-awake for that. He aint a bit offish. He seems re'l practical. What you hurryin' off so for?” she asked, as Marcia rose, and stood poised on the threshold, in act to follow her husband. “Why don't you set here with me, while he's at his writin'? You'll just keep talkin to him and takin' his mind off, the whole while. You stay here!” she commanded hospitably. “You'll just be in the way, up there.”
“Is he from college?” Mrs. Nash exclaimed. “Well, I thought he seemed almost too alert for that. He’s not at all aloof. He seems really practical. Why are you rushing off?” she asked as Marcia stood on the threshold, ready to follow her husband. “Why don’t you stay here with me while he’s writing? You’ll just keep talking to him and distracting him the whole time. Stay here!” she insisted warmly. “You’ll just get in the way up there.”
This was a novel conception to Marcia, but its good sense struck her. “Well, I will,” she said. “I'll run up a minute to leave my things, and then I'll come back.”
This was a new idea for Marcia, but it made sense to her. “Okay, I will,” she said. “I'll go up for a minute to drop off my stuff, and then I'll be back.”
She found Bartley dragging the table, on which he had already laid out his writing-materials, into a good light, and she threw her arms round his neck, as if they had been a great while parted.
She found Bartley pulling the table, where he had already set up his writing materials, into a better light, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, as if they had been apart for a long time.
“Come up to kiss me good luck?” he asked, finding her lips.
“Come here to kiss me for good luck?” he asked, finding her lips.
“Yes, and to tell you how splendid you are, going right to work this way,” she answered fondly.
“Yes, and to tell you how amazing you are, jumping right into work like this,” she replied affectionately.
“Oh, I don't believe in losing time; and I've got to strike while the iron's hot, if I'm going to write out that logging-camp business. I'll take it over to that Events man, and hit him with it, while it's fresh in his mind.”
“Oh, I don’t believe in wasting time; and I’ve got to take advantage of this opportunity while it’s still relevant if I’m going to write about that logging-camp situation. I’ll bring it to that Events guy and hit him with it while it’s fresh in his mind.”
“Yes,” said Marcia. “Are you going to write that out?”
“Yes,” Marcia said. “Are you going to write that down?”
“Why, I told you I was. Any objections?” He did not pay much attention to her, and he asked his question jokingly, as he went on making his preparations.
“Why, I told you I was. Any objections?” He didn’t really focus on her and asked his question playfully while continuing to make his preparations.
“It's hard for me to realize that people can care for such things. I thought perhaps you'd begin with something else,” she suggested, hanging up her sack and hat in the closet.
“It's hard for me to understand that people can care about things like that. I thought maybe you'd start with something different,” she suggested, putting her bag and hat in the closet.
“No, that's the very thing to begin with,” he answered, carelessly. “What are you going to do? Want that book to read that I bought on the cars?”
“No, that’s exactly the point,” he replied, nonchalantly. “What are you going to do? Do you want that book I got about cars to read?”
“No, I'm going down to sit with Mrs. Nash while you're writing.”
“No, I’m going to sit with Mrs. Nash while you write.”
“Well, that's a good idea.”
"That's a great idea."
“You can call me when you've done.”
“You can call me when you’re done.”
“Done!” cried Bartley. “I sha'n't be done till this time to-morrow. I'm going to make a lot about it.”
“Done!” shouted Bartley. “I won’t be finished until this time tomorrow. I’m going to make a big deal out of it.”
“Oh!” said his wife. “Well, I suppose the more there is, the more you will get for it. Shall you put in about those people coming to see the camp?”
“Oh!” said his wife. “Well, I guess the more there is, the more you’ll get for it. Are you going to mention those people coming to check out the camp?”
“Yes, I think I can work that in so that old Witherby will like it. Something about a distinguished Boston newspaper proprietor and his refined and elegant ladies, as a sort of contrast to the rude life of the loggers.”
“Yeah, I think I can make that fit so old Witherby will appreciate it. Something about a notable Boston newspaper owner and his classy and sophisticated ladies, as a contrast to the rough lifestyle of the loggers.”
“I thought you didn't admire them a great deal.”
“I thought you didn't really admire them.”
“Well, I didn't much. But I can work them up.”
“Well, I didn't really. But I can figure them out.”
Marcia was quite ready to go; Bartley had seated himself at his table, but she still hovered about. “And are you—shall you put that Montreal woman in?”
Marcia was all set to leave; Bartley had sat down at his table, but she still lingered nearby. “So, are you—are you going to include that woman from Montreal?”
“Yes, get it all in. She'll work up first-rate.”
“Yes, get it all in. She'll perform amazingly.”
Marcia was silent. Then, “I shouldn't think you'd put her in,” she said, “if she was so silly and disagreeable.”
Marcia was quiet. Then she said, "I wouldn't think you'd include her if she was so silly and difficult."
Bartley turned around, and saw the look on her face that he could not mistake. He rose and took her by the chin. “Look here, Marsh!” he said, “didn't you promise me you'd stop that?”
Bartley turned around and saw the look on her face that he couldn't misunderstand. He got up and took her chin in his hand. "Listen up, Marsh!" he said, "didn't you promise me you'd stop that?"
“Yes,” she murmured, while the color flamed into her cheeks.
“Yes,” she whispered, her cheeks flushing.
“And will you?”
“Are you going to?”
“I did try—”
“I really tried—”
He looked sharply into her eyes. “Confound the Montreal woman! I won't put in a word about her. There!” He kissed Marcia, and held her in his arms and soothed her as if she had been a jealous child.
He looked intently into her eyes. “Forget the Montreal woman! I won't say a word about her. There!” He kissed Marcia, held her in his arms, and comforted her as if she were a jealous child.
“Oh, Bartley! Oh, Bartley!” she cried. “I love you so!”
“Oh, Bartley! Oh, Bartley!” she exclaimed. “I love you so much!”
“I think it's a remark you made before,” he said, and, with a final kiss and laugh, he pushed her out of the door; and she ran down stairs to Mrs. Nash again.
“I think you’ve said that before,” he said, and, with one last kiss and laugh, he pushed her out the door; and she ran downstairs to Mrs. Nash again.
“Your husband ever write poetry, any?” inquired the landlady.
“Does your husband ever write poetry?” the landlady asked.
“No,” returned Marcia; “he used to in college, but he says it don't pay.”
“No,” Marcia replied; “he used to in college, but he says it doesn't pay.”
“One my lodgers—well, she was a lady; you can't seem to get gentlemen oftentimes in the summer season, for love or money, and I was puttin' up with her,—breakin' joints, as you may say, for the time bein'—she wrote poetry; 'n' I guess she found it pretty poor pickin'. Used to write for the weekly papers, she said, 'n' the child'n's magazines. Well, she couldn't get more 'n a doll' or two, 'n' I do' know but what less, for a piece as long as that.” Mrs. Nash held her hands about a foot apart. “Used to show 'em to me, and tell me about 'em. I declare I used to pity her. I used to tell her I ruther break stone for my livin'.”
“One of my tenants—well, she was a lady; you can't seem to get gentlemen most times during the summer, for love or money, and I was putting up with her,—breaking even, you might say, for the time being—she wrote poetry; and I guess she found it pretty disappointing. She said she used to write for the weekly papers and the children's magazines. Well, she couldn't get more than a dollar or two, and I don't know if it was even that much, for something that long.” Mrs. Nash held her hands about a foot apart. “She would show them to me and tell me about them. I swear I used to feel sorry for her. I told her I’d rather break stones for a living.”
Marcia sat talking more than an hour to Mrs. Nash, informing herself upon the history of Mrs. Nash's past and present lodgers, and about the ways of the city, and the prices of provisions and dress-goods. The dearness of everything alarmed and even shocked her; but she came back to her faith in Bartley's ability to meet and overcome all difficulties. She grew drowsy in the close air which Mrs. Nash loved, after all her fatigues and excitements, and she said she guessed she would go up and see how Bartley was getting on. But when she stole into the room and saw him busily writing, she said, “Now I won't speak a word, Bartley,” and coiled herself down under a shawl on the bed, near enough to put her hand on his shoulder if she wished, and fell asleep.
Marcia sat and talked for over an hour with Mrs. Nash, learning about the history of Mrs. Nash's past and present tenants, the city's customs, and the costs of food and clothing. The high prices of everything alarmed and even shocked her, but she reassured herself of Bartley's ability to handle and overcome all challenges. She started to feel drowsy in the stuffy air that Mrs. Nash preferred, especially after all her fatigue and excitement, and she decided to go upstairs and check on how Bartley was doing. But when she quietly entered the room and saw him focused on his writing, she said, “I won’t say a word, Bartley,” then curled up under a shawl on the bed, close enough to reach out and touch his shoulder if she wanted, and drifted off to sleep.
XV.
It took Bartley two days to write out his account of the logging-camp. He worked it up to the best of his ability, giving all the facts that he had got out of Kinney, and relieving these with what he considered picturesque touches. He had the newspaper instinct, and he divined that his readers would not care for his picturesqueness without his facts. He therefore subordinated this, and he tried to give his description of the loggers a politico-economical interest, dwelling upon the variety of nationalities engaged in the industry, and the changes it had undergone in what he called its personnel; he enlarged upon its present character and its future development in relation to what he styled, in a line of small capitals, with an early use of the favorite newspaper possessive,
It took Bartley two days to write his account of the logging camp. He crafted it as best as he could, including all the facts he gathered from Kinney, and adding what he thought were colorful details. He had a knack for journalism and sensed that his readers wouldn't be interested in his flair without the facts. So, he prioritized the substance and aimed to give his description of the loggers an economic and political angle, highlighting the mix of nationalities involved in the industry and the changes it had gone through in what he called its personnel; he elaborated on its current state and future growth in connection to what he referred to, in small capitals, with an early use of the popular newspaper possessive,
COLUMBIA'S MORIBUND SHIP-BUILDING.
And he interspersed his text plentifully with exclamatory headings intended to catch the eye with startling fragments of narration and statement, such as
And he filled his text with lots of attention-grabbing headings meant to catch the eye with striking snippets of storytelling and facts, like
THE PINE-TREE STATE'S STORIED STAPLE
MORE THAN A MILLION OF MONEY
UNBROKEN WILDERNESS
WILD-CATS, LYNXES, AND BEARS
BITTEN OFF
BOTH LEGS FROZEN TO THE KNEES
CANADIAN SONGS
JOY UNCONFINED
THE LAMPLIGHT ON THEIR SWARTHY FACES.
He spent a final forenoon in polishing his article up, and stuffing it full of telling points. But after dinner on this last day he took leave of Marcia with more trepidation than he was willing to show, or knew how to conceal. Her devout faith in his success seemed to unnerve him, and he begged her not to believe in it so much.
He spent his last morning polishing his article and filling it with strong arguments. But after dinner on this final day, he said goodbye to Marcia with more anxiety than he wanted to show or knew how to hide. Her deep faith in his success seemed to unnerve him, and he asked her not to believe in it so much.
He seized what courage he had left in both hands, and found himself, after the usual reluctance of the people in the business office, face to face with Mr. Witherby in his private room. Mr. Witherby had lately dismissed his managing editor for his neglect of the true interests of the paper as represented by the counting-room; and was managing the Events himself. He sat before a table strewn with newspapers and manuscripts; and as he looked up, Bartley saw that he did not recognize him.
He gathered all the courage he had and found himself, after the usual resistance from the people in the office, face to face with Mr. Witherby in his private office. Mr. Witherby had recently let go of his managing editor for neglecting the actual interests of the paper, as shown by the accounting department, and was managing the Events himself. He sat at a table covered with newspapers and manuscripts; and when he looked up, Bartley realized that he did not recognize him.
“How do you do, Mr. Witherby? I had the pleasure of meeting you the other day in Maine—at Mr. Willett's logging-camp. Hubbard is my name; remember me as editor of the Equity Free Press.”
“How's it going, Mr. Witherby? I enjoyed meeting you the other day in Maine—at Mr. Willett's logging camp. My name's Hubbard; remember me as the editor of the Equity Free Press.”
“Oh, yes,” said Mr. Witherby, rising and standing at his desk, as a sort of compromise between asking his visitor to sit down and telling him to go away. He shook hands in a loose way, and added: “I presume you would like to exchange. But the fact is, our list is so large already, that we can't extend it, just now; we can't—”
“Oh, yes,” said Mr. Witherby, getting up and standing by his desk, trying to find a middle ground between inviting his visitor to sit down and hinting that he should leave. He offered a casual handshake and added, “I assume you want to exchange. But the truth is, our list is already so extensive that we can't expand it right now; we can't—”
Bartley smiled. “I don't want any exchange, Mr. Witherby. I'm out of the Free Press.”
Bartley smiled. “I don't want any trade, Mr. Witherby. I'm done with the Free Press.”
“Ah!” said the city journalist, with relief. He added, in a leading tone: “Then—”
“Ah!” said the city journalist, feeling relieved. He added, in a suggestive tone: “Then—”
“I've come to offer you an article,—an account of lumbering in our State. It's a little sketch that I've prepared from what I saw in Mr. Willett's camp, and some facts and statistics I've picked up. I thought it might make an attractive feature of your Sunday edition.”
“I’m here to offer you an article—an overview of logging in our state. It’s a short piece I put together based on what I observed at Mr. Willett’s camp, along with some facts and statistics I gathered. I thought it could be a great addition to your Sunday edition.”
“The Events,” said Mr. Witherby, solemnly, “does not publish a Sunday edition!”
“The Events,” Mr. Witherby said seriously, “does not publish a Sunday edition!”
“Of course not,” answered Bartley, inwardly cursing his blunder,—“I mean your Saturday evening supplement.” He handed him his manuscript.
“Of course not,” Bartley replied, cursing his mistake in his head, “I meant your Saturday evening supplement.” He handed him his manuscript.
Mr. Witherby looked at it, with the worry of a dull man who has assumed unintelligible duties. He had let the other papers “get ahead of him” on several important enterprises lately, and he would have been glad to retrieve himself; but he could not be sure that this was an enterprise. He began by saying that their last Saturday supplement was just out, and the next was full; and he ended by declaring, with stupid pomp, that the Events preferred to send its own reporters to write up those matters. Then he hemmed, and looked at Bartley, and he would really have been glad to have him argue him out of this position; but Bartley could not divine what was in his mind. The cold fit, which sooner or later comes to every form of authorship, seized him. He said awkwardly he was very sorry, and putting his manuscript back in his pocket he went out, feeling curiously light-headed, as if his rebuff had been a stunning blow. The affair was so quickly over, that he might well have believed it had not happened. But he was sickeningly disappointed; he had counted upon the sale of his article to the Events; his hope had been founded upon actual knowledge of the proprietor's intention; and although he had rebuked Marcia's overweening confidence, he had expected that Witherby would jump at it. But Witherby had not even looked at it.
Mr. Witherby looked at it, worried like a dull person who has taken on confusing responsibilities. He had let other pieces of work “get ahead of him” on several important projects recently, and he would have liked to redeem himself; but he couldn’t be sure this was a project worth pursuing. He started by saying that their last Saturday supplement was just out, and the next one was full; and he ended by pompously declaring that the Events preferred to send its own reporters to cover those topics. Then he hesitated, looked at Bartley, and would have really appreciated some help arguing his way out of this stance; but Bartley couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. The cold spell, which eventually hits every form of writing, took hold of him. He awkwardly apologized, put his manuscript back in his pocket, and left, feeling oddly lightheaded, as if the rejection had been a stunning blow. The whole situation was over so quickly, he might have convinced himself it hadn't happened. But he felt painfully disappointed; he had relied on selling his article to the Events; his hope had been based on actual knowledge of the owner’s intentions; and even though he had criticized Marcia's excessive confidence, he had expected Witherby to jump at the chance. But Witherby hadn't even glanced at it.
Bartley walked a long time in the cold winter sunshine, fie would have liked to go back to his lodging, and hide his face in Marcia's hands, and let her pity him, but he could not bear the thought of her disappointment, and he kept walking. At last he regained courage enough to go to the editor of the paper for which he used to correspond in the summer, and which had always printed his letters. This editor was busy, too, but he apparently felt some obligations to civility with Bartley; and though he kept glancing over his exchanges as they talked, he now and then glanced at Bartley also. He said that he should be glad to print the sketch, but that they never paid for outside material, and he advised Bartley to go with it to the Events or to the Daily Chronicle-Abstract; the Abstract and the Brief Chronicle had lately consolidated, and they were showing a good deal of enterprise. Bartley said nothing to betray that he had already been at the Events office, and upon this friendly editor's invitation to drop in again some time he went away considerably re-inspirited.
Bartley walked for a long time in the cold winter sun. He wanted to go back to his place, bury his face in Marcia's hands, and let her feel sorry for him, but the thought of disappointing her was too much, so he kept walking. Finally, he found the courage to visit the editor of the paper he used to write for in the summer, which had always published his letters. The editor was busy, but he seemed to feel some obligation to be polite to Bartley. While glancing at his other work during their conversation, he occasionally looked at Bartley too. He said he would be happy to publish the piece, but they never paid for submissions from outside, and he suggested Bartley take it to the Events or the Daily Chronicle-Abstract. The Abstract and the Brief Chronicle had recently merged and were showing a lot of initiative. Bartley didn’t reveal that he had already been to the Events office, and when the friendly editor invited him to stop by again sometime, he left feeling much more inspired.
“If you should happen to go to the Chronicle-Abstract folks,” the editor called after him, “you can tell them I suggested your coming.”
“If you happen to visit the Chronicle-Abstract people,” the editor called after him, “you can let them know I recommended you.”
The managing editor of the Chronicle-Abstract was reading a manuscript, and he did not desist from his work on Bartley's appearance, which he gave no sign of welcoming. But he had a whimsical, shrewd, kind face, and Bartley felt that he should get on with him, though he did not rise, and though he let Bartley stand.
The managing editor of the Chronicle-Abstract was reading a manuscript, and he didn’t stop what he was doing when Bartley showed up, giving no indication that he was happy to see him. However, he had a quirky, wise, friendly face, and Bartley felt that he should be able to connect with him, even though he didn't get up and let Bartley stand there.
“Yes,” he said. “Lumbering, hey? Well, there's some interest in that, just now, on account of this talk about the decay of our shipbuilding interests. Anything on that point?”
“Yes,” he said. “Lumbering, huh? Well, there's some interest in that right now because of the discussions about the decline of our shipbuilding industry. Any updates on that?”
“That's the very point I touch on first,” said Bartley.
“That's exactly the point I make first,” said Bartley.
The editor stopped turning over his manuscript. “Let's see,” he said, holding out his hand for Bartley's article. He looked at the first head-line, “What I Know about Logging,” and smiled. “Old, but good.” Then he glanced at the other headings, and ran his eye down the long strips on which Bartley had written; nibbled at the text here and there a little; returned to the first paragraph, and read that through; looked back at something else, and then read the close.
The editor paused while going through his manuscript. “Let’s see,” he said, reaching out for Bartley’s article. He glanced at the first headline, “What I Know about Logging,” and smiled. “Classic, but still good.” Then he scanned the other headings and skimmed through the lengthy text Bartley had written; he picked at the content here and there a bit; went back to the first paragraph and read it all the way through; checked something else, and then read the conclusion.
“I guess you can leave it,” he said, laying the manuscript on the table.
“I guess you can leave it,” he said, putting the manuscript on the table.
“No, I guess not,” said Bartley, with equal coolness, gathering it up.
“No, I don’t think so,” Bartley said calmly, picking it up.
The editor looked fairly at him for the first time, and smiled. Evidently he liked this. “What's the reason? Any particular hurry?”
The editor looked at him properly for the first time and smiled. Clearly, he appreciated this. “What's the reason? Are you in a hurry or something?”
“I happen to know that the Events is going to send a man down East to write up this very subject. And I don't propose to leave this article here till they steal my thunder, and then have it thrown back on my hands not worth the paper it's written on.”
“I know that the Events is planning to send someone down East to cover this exact topic. And I definitely don’t plan to leave this article here until they take my idea, only for it to come back to me as something worthless.”
The editor tilted himself back in his chair and braced his knees against his table. “Well, I guess you're right,” he said. “What do you want for it?”
The editor leaned back in his chair and pressed his knees against the table. “Well, I suppose you’re right,” he said. “What do you want for it?”
This was a terrible question. Bartley knew nothing about the prices that city papers paid; he feared to ask too much, but he also feared to cheapen his wares by asking too little. “Twenty-five dollars,” he said, huskily.
This was a tough question. Bartley knew nothing about what city publications paid; he was afraid to ask for too much, but he also worried about devaluing his work by asking for too little. “Twenty-five dollars,” he said, in a husky voice.
“Let's look at it,” said the editor, reaching out his hand for the manuscript again. “Sit down.” He pushed a chair toward Bartley with his foot, having first swept a pile of newspapers from it to the floor. He now read the article more fully, and then looked up at Bartley, who sat still, trying to hide his anxiety. “You're not quite a new hand at the bellows, are you?”
“Let’s take a look,” said the editor, reaching out for the manuscript again. “Have a seat.” He nudged a chair toward Bartley with his foot after pushing a stack of newspapers off it onto the floor. He read the article more thoroughly, then glanced up at Bartley, who sat there quietly, trying to mask his nervousness. “You’re not exactly a beginner at this, are you?”
“I've edited a country paper.”
“I've edited a country report.”
“Yes? Where?”
"Yes? Where’s that?"
“Down in Maine.”
“Down in Maine.”
The editor bent forward and took out a long, narrow blank-book. “I guess we shall want your article What name?”
The editor leaned forward and pulled out a long, slim notebook. “I guess we’ll want your article. What’s the title?”
“Bartley J. Hubbard.” It sounded in his ears like some other name.
“Bartley J. Hubbard.” It rang in his ears like a different name.
“Going to be in Boston some time?”
“Are you going to be in Boston sometime?”
“All the time,” said Bartley, struggling to appear nonchalant. The revulsion from the despair into which he had fallen after his interview with Witherby was still very great. The order on the counting-room which the editor had given him shook in his hand. He saw his way before him clearly now; he wished to propose some other things that he would like to write; but he was saved from this folly for the time by the editor's saying, in a tone of dismissal: “Better come in to-morrow and see a proof. We shall put you into the Wednesday supplement.”
“All the time,” Bartley said, trying to act casual. The disgust from the despair he felt after his interview with Witherby was still overwhelming. The order from the editor in the counting room shook in his hand. He could see his path clearly now; he wanted to suggest other things he’d like to write, but the editor interrupted this line of thought with a dismissive tone: “Better come in tomorrow and check a proof. We’ll include you in the Wednesday supplement.”
“Thanks,” said Bartley. “Good day.”
“Thanks,” Bartley said. “Have a good day.”
The editor did not hear him, or did not think it necessary to respond from behind the newspaper which he had lifted up between them, and Bartley went out. He did not stop to cash his order; he made boyish haste to show it to Marcia, as something more authentic than the money itself, and more sacred. As he hurried homeward he figured Marcia's ecstasy in his thought. He saw himself flying up the stairs to their attic three steps at a bound, and bursting into the room, where she sat eager and anxious, and flinging the order into her lap; and then, when she had read it with rapture at the sum, and pride in the smartness with which he had managed the whole affair, he saw himself catching her up and dancing about the floor with her. He thought how fond of her he was, and he wondered that he could ever have been cold or lukewarm.
The editor didn't hear him, or didn't think it was worth replying while he was hiding behind the newspaper he had raised between them, and Bartley left. He didn't pause to cash his order; he hurried excitedly to show it to Marcia, seeing it as something more genuine than the money itself, and more special. As he dashed home, he imagined Marcia's joy in his mind. He pictured himself racing up the stairs to their attic three steps at a time, bursting into the room where she sat, eager and anxious, and tossing the order into her lap; then, when she read it with delight at the amount and pride in how cleverly he had handled everything, he imagined himself picking her up and spinning around the room with her. He thought about how much he loved her, and he wondered how he could have ever felt indifferent or half-hearted.
She was standing at the window of Mrs. Nash's little reception-room when he reached the house. It was not to be as he had planned, but he threw her a kiss, glad of the impatience which would not let her wait till he could find her in their own room, and he had the precious order in his hand to dazzle her eyes as soon as he should enter. But, as he sprang into the hall, his foot struck against a trunk and some boxes.
She was standing by the window in Mrs. Nash's small reception room when he arrived at the house. Things weren’t going to work out as he had envisioned, but he blew her a kiss, happy about the eagerness that prevented her from waiting until he could find her in their own room. He held the valuable order in his hand, ready to impress her as soon as he walked in. However, as he bounded into the hall, his foot hit a trunk and some boxes.
“Hello!” he cried, “Your things have come!”
“Hey!” he shouted, “Your stuff has arrived!”
Marcia lingered within the door of the reception-room; she seemed afraid to come out. “Yes,” she said, faintly; “father brought them. He has just been here.”
Marcia hung back at the doorway of the reception room; she looked hesitant to step inside. “Yeah,” she said quietly; “Dad brought them. He was just here.”
He seemed there still, and the vision unnerved her as if Bartley and he had been confronted there in reality. Her husband had left her hardly a quarter of an hour, when a hack drove up to the door, and her father alighted. She let him in herself, before he could ring, and waited tremulously for what he should do or say. But he merely took her hand, and, stooping over, gave her the chary kiss with which he used to greet her at home when he returned from an absence.
He still seemed to be there, and the sight unsettled her as if Bartley and he were actually standing there in front of her. Her husband had hardly been gone for fifteen minutes when a cab pulled up to the door, and her father got out. She let him in herself before he could ring the bell, anxiously waiting to see what he would do or say. But he only took her hand, leaned down, and gave her the hesitant kiss he used to give her at home when he came back from being away.
She flung her arms around his neck. “Oh, father!”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Oh, Dad!”
“Well, well! There, there!” he said, and then he went into the reception-room with her; and there was nothing in his manner to betray that anything unusual had happened since they last met. He kept his hat on, as his fashion was, and he kept on his overcoat, below which the skirts of his dress-coat hung an inch or two; he looked old, and weary, and shabby.
“Well, well! There, there!” he said, and then he walked into the reception room with her; and there was nothing in his demeanor to suggest that anything out of the ordinary had occurred since their last meeting. He kept his hat on, as was his habit, and he kept his overcoat on, below which the edges of his dress coat hung an inch or two; he looked older, tired, and worn out.
“I can't leave Bartley, father,” she began, hysterically.
“I can't leave Bartley, Dad,” she started, sounding frantic.
“I haven't come to separate you from your husband, Marcia. What made you think so? It's your place to stay with him.”
“I haven't come to take you away from your husband, Marcia. What gave you that idea? You should be with him.”
“He's out, now,” she answered, in an incoherent hopefulness. “He's just gone. Will you wait and see him, father?”
“He's out now,” she replied, with a confused sense of hope. “He's just gone. Will you wait to see him, dad?”
“No, I guess I can't wait,” said the old man. “It wouldn't do any good for us to meet now.”
“No, I guess I can't wait,” said the old man. “It wouldn't make any sense for us to meet now.”
“Do you think he coaxed me away? He didn't. He took pity on me,—he forgave me. And I didn't mean to deceive you when I left home, father. But I couldn't help trying to see Bartley again.”
“Do you think he tempted me away? He didn't. He felt sorry for me—he forgave me. And I didn't mean to trick you when I left home, Dad. But I couldn't help wanting to see Bartley again.”
“I believe you, Marcia. I understand. The thing had to be. Let me see your marriage certificate.”
“I believe you, Marcia. I get it. It had to happen. Let me see your marriage certificate.”
She ran up to her room and fetched it.
She ran up to her room and grabbed it.
Her father read it carefully. “Yes, that is all right,” he said, and returned it to her. He added, after an absent pause: “I have brought your things, Marcia. Your mother packed all she could think of.”
Her dad read it closely. “Yeah, that’s fine,” he said, and handed it back to her. He added, after a moment of distraction: “I brought your stuff, Marcia. Your mom packed everything she could think of.”
“How is mother?” asked Marcia, as if this had first reminded her of her mother.
“How is mom?” asked Marcia, as if this had just reminded her of her mother.
“She is usually well,” replied her father.
“She’s usually good,” replied her dad.
“Won't you—won't you come up and see our room, father?” Marcia asked, after the interval following this feint of interest in her mother.
“Will you—will you come up and see our room, Dad?” Marcia asked after the pause that followed her act of interest in her mom.
“No,” said the old man, rising restlessly from his chair, and buttoning at his coat, which was already buttoned. “I guess I sha'n't have time. I guess I must be going.”
“No,” the old man said, getting up from his chair and fiddling with the buttons of his coat, which was already done up. “I don’t think I have time. I should be on my way.”
Marcia put herself between him and the door. “Won't you let me tell you about it, father?”
Marcia positioned herself between him and the door. “Can’t you let me tell you about it, Dad?”
“About what?”
"What about?"
“How—I came to go off with Bartley. I want you should know.”
“How I ended up going off with Bartley. I want you to know.”
“I guess I know all I want to know about it, Marcia. I accept the facts. I told you how I felt. What you've done hasn't changed me toward you. I understand you better than you understand yourself; and I can't say that I'm surprised. Now I want you should make the best of it.”
“I guess I know everything I want to know about it, Marcia. I accept the facts. I told you how I feel. What you’ve done hasn’t changed my feelings toward you. I understand you better than you understand yourself, and I can’t say I’m surprised. Now I want you to make the best of it.”
“You don't forgive Bartley!” she cried, passionately. “Then I don't want you should forgive me!”
“You won't forgive Bartley!” she exclaimed, intensely. “Then I don’t want you to forgive me!”
“Where did you pick up this nonsense about forgiving?” said her father, knitting his shaggy brows. “A man does this thing or that, and the consequence follows. I couldn't forgive Bartley so that he could escape any consequence of what he's done; and you're not afraid I shall hurt him?”
“Where did you get this nonsense about forgiveness?” her father said, furrowing his brows. “A person does this or that, and the consequence follows. I can’t just forgive Bartley so he can avoid any consequences for what he’s done; and you’re not worried I might hurt him?”
“Stay and see him!” she pleaded. “He is so kind to me! He works night and day, and he has just gone out to sell something he has written for the papers.”
“Stay and see him!” she begged. “He’s so nice to me! He works day and night, and he just went out to sell something he wrote for the papers.”
“I never said he was lazy,” returned her father. “Do you want any money, Marcia?”
“I never said he was lazy,” her father replied. “Do you need any money, Marcia?”
“No, we have plenty. And Bartley is earning it all the time. I wish you would stay and see him!”
“No, we have plenty. And Bartley is earning it all the time. I wish you would stay and see him!”
“No, I'm glad he didn't happen to be in,” said the Squire. “I sha'n't wait for him to come back. It wouldn't do any good, just yet, Marcia; it would only do harm. Bartley and I haven't had time to change our minds about each other yet. But I'll say a good word for him to you. You're his wife, and it's your part to help him, not to hinder him. You can make him worse by being a fool; but you needn't be a fool. Don't worry him about other women; don't be jealous. He's your husband, now: and the worst thing you can do is to doubt him.”
“No, I'm glad he wasn't around,” said the Squire. “I’m not going to wait for him to come back. It wouldn’t help, not yet, Marcia; it would only cause trouble. Bartley and I haven’t had a chance to change our opinions about each other yet. But I will say something nice about him to you. You’re his wife, and it’s your job to support him, not to hold him back. You can make things worse by acting foolish; but you don’t have to be foolish. Don’t stress him out about other women; don’t be jealous. He’s your husband now, and the worst thing you can do is doubt him.”
“I won't, father, I won't, indeed! I will be good, and I will try to be sensible. Oh, I wish Bartley could know how you feel!”
"I won't, Dad, I really won't! I'll behave, and I'll try to be sensible. Oh, I wish Bartley could understand how you feel!"
“Don't tell him from me,” said her father. “And don't keep making promises and breaking them. I'll help the man in with your things.”
“Don't tell him it was me,” her father said. “And stop making promises you don't keep. I'll help the guy bring in your stuff.”
He went out, and came in again with one end of a trunk, as if he had been giving the man a hand with it into the house at home, and she suffered him as passively as she had suffered him to do her such services all her life. Then he took her hand laxly in his, and stooped down for another chary kiss. “Good by, Marcia.”
He stepped outside and came back in, dragging one end of a trunk, like he was helping the man bring it into the house as usual, and she let him, just like she always had throughout her life. Then he took her hand loosely in his and bent down for another cautious kiss. “Goodbye, Marcia.”
“Why, father! Are you going to leave me?” she faltered.
“Why, Dad! Are you really going to leave me?” she hesitated.
He smiled in melancholy irony at the bewilderment, the childish forgetfulness of all the circumstances, which her words expressed. “Oh, no! I'm going to take you with me.”
He smiled wryly at the confusion, the childish forgetfulness of everything her words showed. “Oh, no! I'm taking you with me.”
His sarcasm restored her to a sense of what she had said, and she ruefully laughed at herself through her tears. “What am I talking about? Give my love to mother. When will you come again?” she asked, clinging about him almost in the old playful way.
His sarcasm brought her back to what she had said, and she laughed at herself with a mix of regret and tears. “What am I saying? Send my love to mom. When will you come back?” she asked, hugging him in a way that felt almost like their old playful selves.
“When you want me,” said the Squire, freeing himself.
“When you need me,” said the Squire, pulling away.
“I'll write!” she cried after him, as he went down the steps; and if there had been, at any moment, a consciousness of her cruelty to him in her heart, she lost it, when he drove away, in her anxious waiting for Bartley's return. It seemed to her that, though her father had refused to see him, his visit was of happy augury for future kindness between them, and she was proudly eager to tell Bartley what good advice her father had given her. But the sight of her husband suddenly turned these thoughts to fear. She trembled, and all that she could say was, “I know father will be all right, Bartley.”
“I'll write!” she shouted after him as he went down the steps; and if there had been any moment when she felt guilty about how she treated him, she completely forgot it as she anxiously waited for Bartley to come back. It seemed to her that, even though her father had refused to see him, his visit was a good sign for future kindness between them, and she was eagerly excited to tell Bartley about the good advice her father had given her. But seeing her husband suddenly turned her thoughts into fear. She trembled, and all she could say was, “I know Dad will be fine, Bartley.”
“How?” he retorted, savagely. “By the way he abused me to you? Where is he?”
“How?” he shot back, angrily. “By how he talked down to me in front of you? Where is he?”
“He's gone,—gone back.”
“He's left,—gone back.”
“I don't care where he's gone, so he's gone. Did he come to take you home with him? Why didn't you go?—Oh, Marcia!” The brutal words had hardly escaped him when he ran to her as if he would arrest them before their sense should pierce her heart.
“I don't care where he went, so he's gone. Did he come to take you home with him? Why didn't you go? — Oh, Marcia!” The harsh words had barely left his mouth when he rushed to her as if he could catch them before they hurt her.
She thrust him back with a stiffly extended arm. “Keep away! Don't touch me!” She walked by him up the stairs without looking round at him, and he heard her close their door and lock it.
She pushed him away with a straightened arm. “Stay back! Don’t touch me!” She walked past him up the stairs without looking at him, and he heard her shut their door and lock it.
XVI.
Bartley stood for a moment, and then went out and wandered aimlessly about till nightfall. He went out shocked and frightened at what he had done, and ready for any reparation. But this mood wore away, and he came back sullenly determined to let her make the advances toward reconciliation, if there was to be one. Her love had already made his peace, and she met him in the dimly lighted little hall with a kiss of silent penitence and forgiveness. She had on her hat and shawl, as if she had been waiting for him to come and take her out to tea; and on their way to the restaurant she asked him of his adventure among the newspapers. He told her briefly, and when they sat down at their table he took out the precious order and showed it to her. But its magic was gone; it was only an order for twenty-five dollars, now; and two hours ago it had been success, rapture, a common hope and a common joy. They scarcely spoke of it, but talked soberly of indifferent things.
Bartley paused for a moment, then stepped outside and wandered around aimlessly until night fell. He felt shocked and scared about what he had done and was ready to make amends. But that feeling faded, and he returned, stubbornly resolved to let her take the lead in any reconciliation, if there was to be one. Her love had already smoothed things over, and she greeted him in the dimly lit little hallway with a kiss of silent regret and forgiveness. She wore her hat and shawl, as if she had been waiting for him to take her out for tea; on their way to the restaurant, she asked about his experience with the newspapers. He told her briefly, and when they sat down at their table, he pulled out the valuable order and showed it to her. But its charm was gone; it was just an order for twenty-five dollars now, when just two hours ago it represented success, bliss, a shared hope, and a mutual joy. They hardly mentioned it, instead speaking seriously about trivial matters.
She could not recur to her father's visit at once, and he would not be the first to mention it. He did nothing to betray his knowledge of her intention, as she approached the subject through those feints that women use, and when they stood again in their little attic room she was obliged to be explicit.
She couldn't bring up her father's visit right away, and he wasn't going to be the one to bring it up first. He didn’t show that he knew what she was getting at as she danced around the topic with the subtle hints that women often use. When they were back in their small attic room, she had to be direct.
“What hurt me, Bartley,” she said, “was that you should think for an instant that I would let father ask me to leave you, or that he would ask such a thing. He only came to tell me to be good to you, and help you, and trust you; and not worry you with my silliness and—and—jealousy. And I don't ever mean to. And I know he will be good friends with you yet. He praised you for working so hard;”—she pushed it a little beyond the bare fact;—“he always did that; and I know he's only waiting for a good chance to make it up with you.”
“What hurt me, Bartley,” she said, “was that you could think for even a second that I would let my dad ask me to leave you, or that he would even say something like that. He only came to tell me to be good to you, to support you, and to trust you; and not to stress you out with my nonsense and—well—jealousy. And I don’t ever plan to. I know he’ll eventually be good friends with you again. He praised you for working so hard;”—she emphasized it a little more than just the fact;—“he always did that; and I know he’s just waiting for the right moment to make amends with you.”
She lifted her eyes, glistening with tears, and it touched his peculiar sense of humor to find her offering him reparation, when he had felt himself so outrageously to blame; but he would not be outdone in magnanimity, if it came to that.
She lifted her eyes, glistening with tears, and it amused him in a strange way to see her trying to apologize, when he felt completely responsible; but he wouldn't let her outdo him in generosity if it came to that.
“It's all right, Marsh. I was a furious idiot, or I should have let you explain at once. But you see I had only one thought in my mind, and that was my luck, which I wanted to share with you; and when your father seemed to have come in between us again—”
“It's okay, Marsh. I was really angry and acted like a fool, or I should have let you explain right away. But you see, I was only thinking about one thing, and that was my good fortune, which I wanted to share with you; and when your dad seemed to get in the way again—”
“Oh, yes, yes!” she answered. “I understand.” And she clung to him in the joy of this perfect intelligence, which she was sure could never be obscured again.
“Oh, yes, yes!” she replied. “I get it.” And she held onto him in the happiness of this complete understanding, which she believed could never be clouded again.
When Bartley's article came out, she read it with a fond admiration which all her praises seemed to leave unsaid. She bought a scrap-book, and pasted the article into it, and said that she was going to keep everything he wrote. “What are you going to write the next thing?” she asked.
When Bartley's article was published, she read it with a warm admiration that all her compliments seemed to leave unspoken. She got a scrapbook and glued the article into it, declaring that she would save everything he wrote. “What are you going to write next?” she asked.
“Well, that's what I don't know,” he answered. “I can't find another subject like that, so easily.”
“Well, that’s what I’m not sure about,” he replied. “I can’t easily find another topic like that.”
“Why, if people care to read about a logging-camp, I should think they would read about almost anything. Nothing could be too common for them. You might even write about the trouble of getting cheap enough rooms in Boston.”
“Why, if people are interested in reading about a logging camp, I would think they’d read about just about anything. Nothing would be too ordinary for them. You could even write about the hassle of finding affordable rooms in Boston.”
“Marcia,” cried Bartley, “you're a treasure! I'll write about that very thing! I know the Chronicle-Abstract will be glad to get it.”
“Marcia,” Bartley exclaimed, “you’re amazing! I’m going to write about that! I know the Chronicle-Abstract will be thrilled to have it.”
She thought he was joking, till he came to her after a while for some figures which he did not remember. He had the true newspaper instinct, and went to work with a motive that was as different as possible from the literary motive. He wrote for the effect which he was to make, and not from any artistic pleasure in the treatment. He did not attempt to give it form,—to imagine a young couple like himself and Marcia coming down from the country to place themselves in the city; he made no effort to throw about it the poetry of their ignorance and their poverty, or the pathetic humor of their dismay at the disproportion of the prices to their means. He set about getting all the facts he could, and he priced a great many lodgings in different parts of the city; then he went to a number of real-estate agents, and, giving himself out as a reporter of the Chronicle-Abstract, he interviewed them as to house-rents, past and present. Upon these bottom facts, as he called them, he based a “spicy” sketch, which had also largely the character of an exposé. There is nothing the public enjoys so much as an exposé: it seems to be made in the reader's own interest; it somehow constitutes him a party to the attack upon the abuse, and its effectiveness redounds to the credit of all the newspaper's subscribers. After a week's stay in Boston, Bartley was able to assume the feelings of a native who sees his city falling into decay through the rapacity of its landladies. In the heading of ten or fifteen lines which he gave his sketch, the greater number were devoted to this feature of it; though the space actually allotted to it in the text was comparatively small. He called his report “Boston's Boarding-Houses,” and he spent a paragraph upon the relation of boarding-houses to civilization, before detailing his own experience and observation. This part had many of those strokes of crude picturesqueness and humor which he knew how to give, and was really entertaining; but it was when he came to contrast the rates of house-rent and the cost of provisions with the landladies'
She thought he was joking until he approached her later for some figures he didn’t remember. He had the true newspaper instinct and worked with a motive that was completely different from any literary one. He wrote for the impact it would create, not for any enjoyment of the artistic process. He didn’t try to shape it into a story—imagine a young couple like himself and Marcia coming from the countryside to settle in the city; he made no attempt to capture the poetry of their ignorance and their poverty or the bittersweet humor of their shock at how prices didn’t match their means. Instead, he focused on gathering as many facts as he could, pricing numerous lodgings in different parts of the city. He then visited several real estate agents, posing as a reporter for the Chronicle-Abstract, and interviewed them about house rents, past and present. Based on these fundamental facts, as he called them, he crafted a “spicy” piece that also had a strong element of an exposé. There's nothing the public enjoys more than an exposé—it feels like it serves the reader's interests, making them feel part of the attack against the abuse, and its effectiveness benefits all the newspaper's subscribers. After a week in Boston, Bartley could adopt the feelings of a local who watches his city fall into decline due to the greed of its landladies. In the title of the ten or so lines he gave his piece, most was dedicated to this aspect, even though the actual text spent little time on it. He titled his report “Boston's Boarding-Houses” and included a paragraph about the connection between boarding houses and civilization before detailing his own experiences and observations. This section had many raw strokes of vividness and humor that he knew how to present, making it genuinely entertaining; but it was when he started to compare the rates of house rent and the cost of living with the landladies’
“PERPENDICULAR PRICES,”
that Bartley showed all the virtue of a born reporter. The sentences were vivid and telling; the ensemble was very alarming; and the conclusion was inevitable, that, unless this abuse could somehow be reached, we should lose a large and valuable portion of our population,—especially those young married people of small means with whom the city's future prosperity so largely rested, and who must drift away to find homes in rival communities if the present exorbitant demands were maintained.
that Bartley showed all the qualities of a natural reporter. The sentences were vivid and impactful; the overall picture was quite concerning; and the conclusion was clear: unless we could somehow address this issue, we would lose a significant and valuable part of our population—particularly those young married individuals with limited resources, on whom the city’s future success heavily depended, and who would be forced to move away to find homes in competing communities if the current unreasonable demands continued.
As Bartley had foretold, he had not the least trouble in selling this sketch to the Chronicle-Abstract. The editor probably understood its essential cheapness perfectly well; but he also saw how thoroughly readable it was. He did not grumble at the increased price which Bartley put upon his work; it was still very far from dear; and he liked the young Downeaster's enterprise. He gave him as cordial a welcome as an overworked man may venture to offer when Bartley came in with his copy, and he felt like doing him a pleasure. Some things out of the logging-camp sketch had been copied, and people had spoken to the editor about it, which was a still better sign that it was a hit.
As Bartley had predicted, he had no trouble selling this sketch to the Chronicle-Abstract. The editor probably recognized its basic affordability perfectly well, but he also saw how engaging it was. He didn’t complain about the higher price Bartley set for his work; it was still quite reasonable, and he appreciated the young Downeaster’s initiative. He gave Bartley as warm a welcome as an overworked person could manage when he came in with his copy, and he felt like doing him a favor. Some elements from the logging-camp sketch had been copied, and people had mentioned it to the editor, which was an even better indication that it was a success.
“Don't you want to come round to our club to-night?” asked the editor, as he handed Bartley the order for his money across the table. “We have a bad dinner, and we try to have a good time. We're all newspaper men together.”
“Don’t you want to come over to our club tonight?” the editor asked as he passed Bartley his paycheck across the table. “We’ll have a mediocre dinner, but we try to have a good time. We’re all newspaper guys together.”
“Why, thank you,” said Bartley, “I guess I should like to go.”
“Thanks,” Bartley said, “I think I’d like to go.”
“Well, come round at half-past five, and go with me.”
“Well, come by at 5:30, and go with me.”
Bartley walked homeward rather soberly. He had meant, if he sold this article, to make amends for the disappointment they had both suffered before, and to have a commemorative supper with Marcia at Parker's: he had ignored a little hint of hers about his never having taken her there yet, because he was waiting for this chance to do it in style. He resolved that, if she did not seem to like his going to the club, he would go back and withdraw his acceptance. But when he told her he had been invited,—he thought he would put the fact in this tentative way,—she said, “I hope you accepted!”
Bartley walked home feeling pretty serious. He had intended, if he sold this piece, to make up for the disappointment they both had experienced before, and to have a special dinner with Marcia at Parker's: he had brushed off a subtle hint she dropped about him never taking her there yet because he wanted to wait for the right moment to do it properly. He decided that if she didn't seem to like him going to the club, he would go back and cancel his acceptance. But when he told her he had been invited—he thought he’d phrase it that way—she said, “I hope you accepted!”
“Would you have liked me to?” he asked with relief.
“Would you have wanted me to?” he asked, feeling relieved.
“Why, of course! It's a great honor. You'll get acquainted with all those editors, and perhaps some of them will want to give you a regular place.” A salaried employment was their common ideal of a provision for their future.
“Of course! It’s a great honor. You’ll meet all those editors, and maybe some of them will want to offer you a regular position.” A steady job was their shared vision for securing their future.
“Well, that's what I was thinking myself,” said Bartley.
“Well, that's what I was thinking too,” said Bartley.
“Go and accept at once,” she pursued.
“Go and accept it right away,” she urged.
“Oh, that isn't necessary. If I get round there by half-past five, I can go,” he answered.
“Oh, that's not necessary. If I get there by half-past five, I can go,” he replied.
His lurking regret ceased when he came into the reception-room, where the members of the club were constantly arriving, and putting off their hats and overcoats, and then falling into groups for talk. His friend of the Chronicle-Abstract introduced him lavishly, as our American custom is. Bartley had a little strangeness, but no bashfulness, and, with his essentially slight opinion of people, he was promptly at his ease. These men liked his handsome face, his winning voice, the good-fellowship of his instant readiness to joke; he could see that they liked him, and that his friend Ricker was proud of the impression he made; before the evening was over he kept himself with difficulty from patronizing Ricker a little.
His lingering regret faded when he walked into the reception room, where club members were constantly arriving, taking off their hats and coats, and breaking into small groups to chat. His friend from the Chronicle-Abstract introduced him warmly, as is the custom in America. Bartley felt a bit out of place but wasn’t shy, and with his low opinion of people, he quickly felt comfortable. These men appreciated his good looks, charming voice, and his friendly readiness to joke; he could tell they liked him, and that his friend Ricker was proud of the impression he made. By the end of the evening, he had to stop himself from looking down on Ricker just a bit.
The club has grown into something much more splendid and expensive; but it was then content with a dinner certainly as bad as Ricker promised, but fabulously modest in price, at an old-fashioned hotel, whose site was long ago devoured by a dry-goods palace. The drink was commonly water or beer; occasionally, if a great actor or other distinguished guest honored the board, some spendthrift ordered champagne. But no one thought fit to go to this ruinous extreme for Bartley. Ricker offered him his choice of beer or claret, and Bartley temperately preferred water to either; he could see that this raised him in Ricker's esteem.
The club has become something much fancier and more expensive; back then, it was satisfied with a meal that was definitely as bad as Ricker promised, but incredibly cheap, at an old-fashioned hotel, which was long ago replaced by a department store. The common drinks were usually water or beer; sometimes, if a famous actor or another notable guest was at the table, a big spender would order champagne. But no one thought it was worth going to that expensive length for Bartley. Ricker offered him a choice of beer or red wine, and Bartley wisely chose water instead; he noticed that this made Ricker think more highly of him.
No company of men can fail to have a good time at a public dinner, and the good time began at once with these journalists, whose overworked week ended in this Saturday evening jollity. They were mostly young men, who found sufficient compensation in the excitement and adventure of their underpaid labors, and in the vague hope of advancement; there were grizzled beards among them, for whom neither the novelty nor the expectation continued, but who loved the life for its own sake, and would hardly have exchanged it for prosperity. Here and there was an old fellow, for whom probably all the illusion was gone; but he was proud of his vocation, proud even of the changes that left him somewhat superannuated in his tastes and methods. None, indeed, who have ever known it, can wholly forget the generous rage with which journalism inspires its followers. To each of those young men, beginning the strangely fascinating life as reporters and correspondents, his paper was as dear as his king once was to a French noble; to serve it night and day, to wear himself out for its sake, to merge himself in its glory, and to live in its triumphs without personal recognition from the public, was the loyal devotion which each expected his sovereign newspaper to accept as its simple right. They went and came, with the prompt and passive obedience of soldiers, wherever they were sent, and they struggled each to “get in ahead” of all the others with the individual zeal of heroes. They expanded to the utmost limits of occasion, and they submitted with an anguish that was silent to the editorial excision, compression, and mutilation of reports that were vitally dear to them. What becomes of these ardent young spirits, the inner history of journalism in any great city might pathetically show; but the outside world knows them only in the fine frenzy of interviewing, or of recording the midnight ravages of what they call the devouring element, or of working up horrible murders or tragical accidents, or of tracking criminals who have baffled all the detectives. Hearing their talk Bartley began to realize that journalism might be a very different thing from what he had imagined it in a country printing-office, and that it might not be altogether wise to consider it merely as a stepping-stone to the law.
No group of people can miss out on having a great time at a public dinner, and the fun kicked off right away for these journalists, whose exhausting week wrapped up in this Saturday night celebration. Most of them were young men, who found enough reward in the excitement and adventure of their underpaid jobs, along with a vague hope for advancement. Among them were also some older guys, for whom neither the novelty nor the expectations remained, but who loved the profession for its own sake and wouldn’t have traded it for success. Every now and then, there was an old-timer, who probably had lost all illusions, but he took pride in his work, even in the changes that made him somewhat outdated in his tastes and methods. No one who has ever experienced it can fully forget the passionate drive that journalism instills in its followers. For each of those young men starting the intriguingly captivating life as reporters and correspondents, their paper was as important as a king once was to a French noble; to serve it day and night, to exhaust themselves for its success, to merge their identities with its glory, and to live in its triumphs without public acknowledgment was the loyalty that each expected their beloved newspaper to accept as its simple due. They came and went with the quick and obedient spirit of soldiers, wherever they were sent, each striving to “get ahead” of the others with the individual passion of heroes. They stretched to the fullest limits of opportunity and endured silently the pain of having their deeply cherished reports edited, condensed, and mutilated. What happens to these passionate young spirits could tell a sad story about the inner workings of journalism in any major city; however, the outside world knows them only for their intense interviews or for documenting the midnight chaos of what they call the devouring element, or for covering horrific murders or tragic accidents, or for hunting down criminals who have evaded all the detectives. Listening to their conversations, Bartley began to understand that journalism might be very different from what he had pictured it to be in a country printing office, and that it might not be entirely wise to view it solely as a stepping stone to the law.
With the American eagerness to recognize talent, numbers of good fellows spoke to him about his logging sketch; even those who had not read it seemed to know about it as a hit. They were all delighted to be able to say, “Ricker tells me that you offered it to old Witherby, and he wouldn't look at it!” He found that this fact, which he had doubtfully confided to Ricker, was not offensive to some of the Events people who were there; one of them got him aside, and darkly owned to him that Witherby was doing everything that any one man could to kill the Events, and that in fact the counting-room was running the paper.
With the American enthusiasm for recognizing talent, a number of good guys talked to him about his logging sketch; even those who hadn't read it seemed to know it was a hit. They were all thrilled to say, “Ricker tells me you offered it to old Witherby, and he wouldn’t even look at it!” He discovered that this fact, which he had hesitantly shared with Ricker, didn’t bother some of the Events people present; one of them pulled him aside and quietly admitted that Witherby was doing everything possible to undermine the Events, and that actually, the counting-room was running the paper.
All the club united in abusing the dinner, which in his rustic ignorance Bartley had not found so infamous; but they ate it with perfect appetite and with mounting good spirits. The president brewed punch in a great bowl before him, and, rising with a glass of it in his hand, opened a free parliament of speaking, story-telling, and singing. Whoever recollected a song or a story that he liked, called upon the owner of it to sing it or tell it; and it appeared not to matter how old the fun or the music was: the company was resolved to be happy; it roared and clapped till the glasses rang. “You will like this song,” Bartley's neighbors to right and left of him prophesied; or, “Just listen to this story of Mason's,—it's capital,”—as one or another rose in response to a general clamor. When they went back to the reception-room they carried the punch-bowl with them, and there, amid a thick cloud of smoke, two clever amateurs took their places at the piano, and sang and played to their heart's content, while the rest, glass in hand, talked and laughed, or listened as they chose. Bartley had not been called upon, but he was burning to try that song in which he had failed so dismally in the logging-camp. When the pianist rose at last, he slipped down into the chair, and, striking the chords of the accompaniment, he gave his piece with brilliant audacity. The room silenced itself and then burst into a roar of applause, and cries of “Encore!” There could be no doubt of the success. “Look here, Ricker,” said a leading man at the end of the repetition, “your friend must be one of us!”—and, rapping on the table, he proposed Bartley's name. In that simple time the club voted viva voce on proposed members, and Bartley found himself elected by acclamation, and in the act of paying over his initiation fee to the treasurer, before he had well realized the honor done him. Everybody near him shook his hand, and offered to be of service to him. Much of this cordiality was merely collective good feeling; something of it might be justly attributed to the punch; but the greater part was honest. In this civilization of ours, grotesque and unequal and imperfect as it is in many things, we are bound together in a brotherly sympathy unknown to any other. We new men have all had our hard rubs, but we do not so much remember them in soreness or resentment as in the wish to help forward any other who is presently feeling them. If he will but help himself too, a hundred hands are stretched out to him.
All the club came together to roast the dinner, which Bartley, in his simple ignorance, hadn’t found so terrible; still, they ate it with great appetite and growing good cheer. The president mixed up punch in a big bowl in front of him, and, standing with a glass in his hand, opened up a free-for-all of speaking, storytelling, and singing. Anyone who remembered a song or a story they liked called on the person to share it; it didn’t really matter how old the jokes or the music were: the group was determined to have a good time; they laughed and clapped until the glasses chimed. “You’ll love this song,” Bartley’s neighbors on either side assured him; or, “Just listen to this story from Mason—it’s fantastic,” as one or another stood up in response to the general demand. When they returned to the reception room, they brought the punch bowl with them, and there, surrounded by a thick cloud of smoke, two talented amateurs took their places at the piano and performed to their heart’s content, while the rest, glass in hand, chatted and laughed, or listened as they pleased. Bartley hadn’t been called upon, but he was eager to try out that song he had so miserably failed at in the logging camp. When the pianist finally got up, he slipped into the chair and, hitting the chords of the accompaniment, passionately delivered his piece. The room quieted and then exploded into a roar of applause and cries of “Encore!” There was no doubt about his success. “Hey, Ricker,” said a prominent man at the end of the repeat, “your friend has to be one of us!”—and, banging on the table, he proposed Bartley’s name. In those straightforward times, the club voted *viva voce* on prospective members, and Bartley found himself elected by acclamation, in the act of paying his initiation fee to the treasurer before he fully realized the honor he had received. Everyone near him shook his hand and offered to help him out. Much of this friendliness was just collective good vibes; some of it could likely be attributed to the punch; but most of it was genuine. In our society, as strange and unequal and imperfect as it may be in many ways, we’re united by a kind of brotherly bond that’s unlike any other. We newcomers have all faced tough times, but we don’t really remember them with bitterness or resentment, but rather with the desire to support anyone else who is currently facing them. If he’s willing to help himself too, a hundred hands reach out to him.
Bartley had kept his head clear of the punch, but he left the club drunk with joy and pride, and so impatient to be with Marcia and tell her of his triumphs that he could hardly wait to read the proof of his boarding-house article which Ricker had put in hand at once for the Sunday edition. He found Marcia sitting up for him, and she listened with a shining face while he hastily ran over the most flattering facts of the evening. She was not so much surprised at the honors done him as he had expected but she was happier, and she made him repeat it all and give her the last details. He was afraid she would ask him what his initiation had cost; but she seemed to have no idea that it had cost anything, and though it had swept away a third of the money he had received for his sketch, he still resolved that she should have that supper at Parker's.
Bartley had dodged the punch, but he left the club feeling joyfully proud and so eager to share his successes with Marcia that he could barely wait to read the draft of his boarding-house article that Ricker had immediately prepared for the Sunday edition. He found Marcia waiting up for him, and she listened with a beaming face as he quickly recapped the most flattering highlights of the evening. She wasn't as surprised by the honors he received as he expected, but she was happier, and she made him go over everything again, asking for the final details. He worried she might ask how much his initiation cost, but she seemed unaware that it had cost anything at all, and even though it had taken away a third of the money he had earned for his sketch, he still decided that she would get that dinner at Parker's.
“I consider my future made,” he said aloud, at the end of his swift cogitation on this point.
“I think my future is set,” he said out loud after quickly thinking it through.
“Oh, yes!” she responded rapturously. “We needn't have a moment's anxiety. But we must be very saving still till you get a place.”
“Oh, yes!” she replied enthusiastically. “We don’t have to worry at all. But we still need to be frugal until you find a job.”
“Oh, certainly,” said Bartley.
“Oh, of course,” said Bartley.
XVII.
During several months that followed, Bartley's work consisted of interviewing, of special reporting in all its branches, of correspondence by mail and telegraph from points to which he was sent; his leisure he spent in studying subjects which could be treated like that of the boarding-houses. Marcia entered into his affairs with the keen half-intelligence which characterizes a woman's participation in business; whatever could be divined, she was quickly mistress of; she vividly sympathized with his difficulties and his triumphs; she failed to follow him in matters of political detail, or of general effect; she could not be dispassionate or impartial; his relation to any enterprise was always more important than anything else about it. On some of his missions he took her with him, and then they made it a pleasure excursion; and if they came home late with the material still unwritten, she helped him with his notes, wrote from his dictation, and enabled him to give a fuller report than his rivals. She caught up with amusing aptness the technical terms of the profession, and was voluble about getting in ahead of the Events and the other papers; and she was indignant if any part of his report was cut out or garbled, or any feature was spoiled.
For several months afterward, Bartley's job involved interviewing, special reporting in all its forms, and corresponding via mail and telegraph from various locations he was sent to; he used his free time to study topics that could be handled like the one related to boarding houses. Marcia got involved in his work with the sharp half-understanding that often defines a woman's role in business; whatever she could figure out, she quickly mastered; she deeply empathized with his challenges and successes; however, she struggled to keep up with him on political details or broader impacts; she couldn't remain objective or neutral; his involvement in any project always mattered more than anything else about it. On some assignments, he brought her along, turning them into enjoyable outings; if they returned late with unfinished material, she assisted him with his notes, wrote based on his dictation, and helped him produce a more comprehensive report than his competitors. She picked up the industry's technical jargon with amusing precision and was talkative about beating the Events and other newspapers to the punch; she was outraged if any part of his report was trimmed or misrepresented, or if any aspect was ruined.
He made a “card” of grouping and treating with picturesque freshness the spring openings of the milliners and dry-goods people; and when he brought his article to Ricker, the editor ran it over, and said, “Guess you took your wife with you, Hubbard.”
He created a "card" that showcased and described in a visually appealing way the spring collections from the hat makers and clothing stores. When he presented his article to Ricker, the editor skimmed through it and said, “I guess you took your wife with you, Hubbard.”
“Yes, I did,” Bartley owned. He was always proud of her looks, and it flattered him that Ricker should see the evidences of her feminine taste and knowledge in his account of the bonnets and dress goods. “You don't suppose I could get at all these things by inspiration, do you?”
“Yes, I did,” Bartley admitted. He was always proud of her looks, and it pleased him that Ricker would notice the signs of her feminine taste and knowledge in his description of the bonnets and dress materials. “You don't think I could come up with all this just by inspiration, do you?”
Marcia was already known to some of his friends whom he had introduced to her in casual encounters. They were mostly unmarried, or if married they lived at a distance, and they did not visit the Hubbards at their lodgings. Marcia was a little shy, and did not quite know whether they ought to call without being asked, or whether she ought to ask them; besides, Mrs. Nash's reception-room was not always at her disposal, and she would not have liked to take them all the way up to her own room. Her social life was therefore confined to the public places where she met these friends of her husband's. They sometimes happened together at a restaurant, or saw one another between the acts at the theatre, or on coming out of a concert. Marcia was not so much admired for her conversation by her acquaintance, as for her beauty and her style; a rustic reluctance still lingered in her; she was thin and dry in her talk with any one but Bartley, and she could not help letting even men perceive that she was uneasy when they interested him in matters foreign to her.
Marcia was already known to some of his friends whom he had casually introduced to her. They were mostly single, or if married, they lived far away and didn’t visit the Hubbards at their place. Marcia was a bit shy and wasn't sure if they should drop by uninvited or if she should invite them; besides, Mrs. Nash’s reception room wasn't always available, and she wouldn't have wanted to take them all the way up to her own room. Her social life was limited to public places where she met her husband's friends. They sometimes ran into each other at a restaurant, or chatted briefly between acts at the theater, or when leaving a concert. Marcia was admired more for her looks and style than for her conversation; there was still a hint of awkwardness about her. She was thin and her conversation was stiff with anyone but Bartley, and she couldn't hide that she felt uneasy when men talked to her about things that didn't interest him.
Bartley did not see why they could not have some of these fellows up in their room for tea; but Marcia told him it was impossible. In fact, although she willingly lived this irregular life with him, she was at heart not at all a Bohemian. She did not like being in lodgings or dining at restaurants; on their horse-car excursions into the suburbs, when the spring opened, she was always choosing this or that little house as the place where she would like to live, and wondering if it were within their means. She said she would gladly do all the work herself; she hated to be idle so much as she now must. The city's novelty wore off for her sooner than for him: the concerts, the lectures, the theatres, had already lost their zest for her, and she went because he wished her to go, or in order to be able to help him with what he was always writing about such things.
Bartley couldn't understand why they couldn't invite some of these guys up to their room for tea, but Marcia told him it was impossible. In reality, even though she was okay living this unconventional lifestyle with him, she wasn't really a free spirit at heart. She didn't like staying in lodgings or eating out at restaurants; during their streetcar rides into the suburbs when spring came, she was always picking out little houses where she would love to live and wondering if they could afford them. She said she'd happily do all the work herself because she hated being this idle. The excitement of the city faded for her faster than it did for him: the concerts, lectures, and theaters had already lost their appeal, and she went to them because he wanted her to or so she could help him with whatever he was always writing about those things.
As the spring advanced, Bartley conceived the plan of a local study, something in the manner of the boarding-house article, but on a much vaster scale: he proposed to Ricker a timely series on the easily accessible hot-weather resorts, to be called “Boston's Breathing-Places,” and to relate mainly to the seaside hotels and their surroundings. His idea was encouraged, and he took Marcia with him on most of his expeditions for its realization. These were largely made before the regular season had well begun; but the boats were already running, and the hotels were open, and they were treated with the hospitality which a knowledge of Bartley's mission must invoke. As he said, it was a matter of business, give and take on both sides, and the landlords took more than they gave in any such trade.
As spring progressed, Bartley came up with the idea of a local study, similar to the boarding-house article but on a much larger scale. He suggested to Ricker a timely series on popular hot-weather spots, titled “Boston's Breathing-Places,” focusing mainly on seaside hotels and their surroundings. His idea was well-received, and he brought Marcia along on most of his trips to make it happen. These trips mainly took place before the peak season really kicked in, but the boats were already operating, and the hotels were open. They were welcomed with the kind of hospitality that surely stemmed from Bartley’s mission. As he put it, it was a business matter, a give-and-take on both sides, and the hotel owners definitely received more than they offered in any such arrangement.
On her part Marcia regarded dead-heading as a just and legitimate privilege of the press, if not one of its chief attributes; and these passes on boats and trains, this system of paying hotel-bills by the presentation of a card, constituted distinguished and honorable recognition from the public. To her simple experience, when Bartley told how magnificently the reporters had been accommodated, at some civic or commercial or professional banquet, with a table of their own, where they were served with all the wines and courses, he seemed to have been one of the principal guests, and her fear was that his head should be turned by his honors. But at the bottom of her heart, though she enjoyed the brilliancy of Bartley's present life, she did not think his occupation comparable to the law in dignity. Bartley called himself a journalist now, but his newspaper connection still identified him in her mind with those country editors of whom she had always heard her father speak with such contempt: men dedicated to poverty and the despite of all the local notables who used them. She could not shake off the old feeling of degradation, even when she heard Bartley and some of his fellow-journalists talking in their boastfulest vein of the sovereign character of journalism; and she secretly resolved never to relinquish her purpose of having him a lawyer. Till he was fairly this, in regular and prosperous practice, she knew that she should not have shown her father that she was right in marrying Bartley.
On her part, Marcia viewed dead-heading as a fair and legitimate privilege of the press, if not one of its main features. These passes for boats and trains and the ability to pay hotel bills with a card were a sign of special and honorable recognition from the public. From her perspective, when Bartley talked about how wonderfully the reporters were treated at some civic, commercial, or professional banquet—with their own table served with all kinds of food and drinks—he sounded like one of the main guests, and she worried that his successes would go to his head. Deep down, even though she enjoyed the excitement of Bartley's current life, she didn't think his job was as dignified as the law. Bartley called himself a journalist now, but to her, his newspaper job still linked him with those country editors her father had always spoken of with disdain: men committed to poverty and scorned by the local elites who used them. She couldn’t shake off that old feeling of humiliation, even when she heard Bartley and some of his fellow journalists boasting about the importance of journalism. She quietly resolved to never give up on her goal of making him a lawyer. Until he became one, with a steady and successful practice, she knew she wouldn’t have proven to her father that she was right to marry Bartley.
In the mean time their life went ignorantly on in the obscure channels where their isolation from society kept it longer than was natural. Three or four months after they came to Boston, they were still country people, with scarcely any knowledge of the distinctions and differences so important to the various worlds of any city. So far from knowing that they must not walk in the Common, they used to sit down on a bench there, in the pleasant weather, and watch the opening of the spring, among the lovers whose passion had a publicity that neither surprised nor shocked them. After they were a little more enlightened, they resorted to the Public Garden, where they admired the bridge, and the rock-work, and the statues. Bartley, who was already beginning to get up a taste for art, boldly stopped and praised the Venus, in the presence of the gardeners planting tulip-bulbs.
In the meantime, their life went on unaware in the hidden paths where their separation from society kept it longer than normal. Three or four months after arriving in Boston, they were still country folks, with little understanding of the distinctions and differences that were so important to the various social circles in any city. Far from realizing they shouldn't walk in the Common, they would sit on a bench there in nice weather, watching the arrival of spring among the lovers whose open affection neither surprised nor shocked them. Once they became a bit more informed, they visited the Public Garden, where they admired the bridge, the rock features, and the statues. Bartley, who was starting to develop an appreciation for art, confidently stopped to praise the Venus statue, right in front of the gardeners planting tulip bulbs.
They went sometimes to the Museum of Fine Arts, where they found a pleasure in the worst things which the best never afterwards gave them; and where she became as hungry and tired as if it were the Vatican. They had a pride in taking books out of the Public Library, where they walked about on tiptoe with bated breath; and they thought it a divine treat to hear the Great Organ play at noon. As they sat there in the Music Hall, and let the mighty instrument bellow over their strong young nerves, Bartley whispered Marcia the jokes he had heard about the organ; and then, upon the wave of aristocratic sensation from this experience, they went out and dined at Copeland's, or Weber's, or Fera's, or even at Parker's: they had long since forsaken the humble restaurant with its doilies and its ponderous crockery, and they had so mastered the art of ordering that they could manage a dinner as cheaply at these finer places as anywhere, especially if Marcia pretended not to care much for her half of the portion, and connived at its transfer to Bartley's plate.
They sometimes went to the Museum of Fine Arts, where they found enjoyment in the worst pieces, something that the best never gave them afterward; and where she became as hungry and tired as if it were the Vatican. They felt proud to check out books from the Public Library, walking around on tiptoe and holding their breath; and they thought it was a special treat to hear the Great Organ play at noon. As they sat in the Music Hall and let the powerful instrument resonate through their young, strong nerves, Bartley whispered jokes about the organ to Marcia; then, riding the wave of sophistication from that experience, they went out and dined at Copeland's, Weber's, Fera's, or even Parker's: they had long since abandoned the humble restaurant with its doilies and heavy dishes, and they had become so skilled at ordering that they could have dinner at these nicer places for about the same price, especially if Marcia pretended not to care much for her half of the dish and helped pass it over to Bartley's plate.
In his hours of leisure, they were so perpetually together that it became a joke with the men who knew them to say, when asked if Bartley were married, “Very much married.” It was not wholly their inseparableness that gave the impression of this extreme conjugality; as I said, Marcia's uneasiness when others interested Bartley in things alien to her made itself felt even by these men. She struggled against it because she did not wish to put him to shame before them, and often with an aching sense of desolation she sent him off with them to talk apart, or left him with them if they met on the street, and walked home alone, rather than let any one say that she kept her husband tied to her apron-strings. His club, after the first sense of its splendor and usefulness wore away, was an ordeal; she had failed to conceal that she thought the initiation and annual fees extravagant. She knew no other bliss like having Bartley sit down in their own room with her; it did not matter whether they talked; if he were busy, she would as lief sit and sew, or sit and silently look at him as he wrote. In these moments she liked to feign that she had lost him, that they had never been married, and then come back with a rush of joy to the reality. But on his club nights she heroically sent him off, and spent the evening with Mrs. Nash. Sometimes she went out by day with the landlady, who had a passion for auctions and cemeteries, and who led Marcia to an intimate acquaintance with such pleasures. At Mount Auburn, Marcia liked the marble lambs, and the emblematic hands pointing upward with the dexter finger, and the infants carved in stone, and the angels with folded wings and lifted eyes, better than the casts which Bartley said were from the antique, in the Museum; on this side her mind was as wholly dormant as that of Mrs. Nash herself. She always came home feeling as if she had not seen Bartley for a year, and fearful that something had happened to him.
In his free time, they were so constantly together that it became a running joke among the men who knew them to reply, when asked if Bartley was married, “Very much married.” It wasn’t just their closeness that gave off this strong impression of marriage; Marcia's discomfort when others engaged Bartley in topics that didn’t include her was obvious even to these men. She fought against it because she didn’t want to shame him in front of them, often feeling a deep sense of loneliness as she sent him off to talk with them or left him if they ran into each other on the street, choosing to walk home alone instead of letting anyone think she kept her husband tied to her apron strings. After the initial excitement of his club wore off, it became a challenge for her; she couldn’t hide her belief that the initiation and annual fees were excessive. There was no joy for her quite like having Bartley sit down with her in their own room; it didn't matter if they talked—if he was busy, she was just as happy to sit and sew, or quietly watch him write. In those moments, she liked to pretend she had lost him, that they had never been married, only to suddenly experience a rush of joy when returning to the truth. But on his club nights, she bravely sent him off and spent the evening with Mrs. Nash. Sometimes she would go out during the day with their landlady, who loved auctions and cemeteries, and who introduced Marcia to those quirky joys. At Mount Auburn, Marcia preferred the marble lambs, the symbolic hands pointing up with the index finger, the stone-carved infants, and the angels with folded wings and uplifted gazes over the casts Bartley claimed were from ancient times at the Museum; in this regard, her mind was as completely inactive as Mrs. Nash's. She always returned home feeling like she hadn’t seen Bartley in a year and worried that something might have happened to him.
The hardest thing about their irregular life was that he must sometimes be gone two or three days at a time, when he could not take her with him. Then it seemed to her that she could not draw a full breath in his absence; and once he found her almost wild on his return: she had begun to fancy that he was never coming back again. He laughed at her when she betrayed her secret, but she was not ashamed; and when he asked her, “Well, what if I hadn't come back?” she answered passionately, “It wouldn't have made much difference to me: I should not have lived.”
The toughest part of their unpredictable life was that he would occasionally be gone for two or three days at a time, unable to take her with him. In his absence, it felt like she couldn't breathe properly; once, when he returned, he found her nearly frantic—she had started to believe he might never come back. He chuckled when she revealed her feelings, but she felt no shame; when he asked her, "What if I hadn't come back?" she replied with intensity, "It wouldn't have mattered much to me: I wouldn't have survived."
The uncertainty of his income was another cause of anguish to her. At times he earned forty or fifty dollars a week; oftener he earned ten; there was now and then a week when everything that he put his hand to failed, and he earned nothing at all. Then Marcia despaired; her frugality became a mania, and they had quarrels about what she called his extravagance. She embittered his daily bread by blaming him for what he spent on it; she wore her oldest dresses, and would have had him go shabby in token of their adversity. Her economies were frantic child's play,—methodless, inexperienced, fitful; and they were apt to be followed by remorse in which she abetted him in some wanton excess.
The uncertainty of his income was another source of stress for her. Sometimes he made forty or fifty dollars a week; more often, he only earned ten. There were weeks when everything he tried failed, and he earned nothing at all. In those moments, Marcia felt hopeless; her thriftiness turned into an obsession, and they fought about what she referred to as his spending habits. She made his daily struggles worse by blaming him for what he spent on necessities; she wore her oldest clothes and wanted him to dress poorly as a sign of their tough times. Her attempts to save money were frantic and chaotic—random, inexperienced, and inconsistent; they often led to guilt that pushed her to indulge in some reckless splurge with him.
The future of any heroic action is difficult to manage; and the sublime sacrifice of her pride and all the conventional proprieties which Marcia had made in giving herself to Bartley was inevitably tried by the same sordid tests that every married life is put to.
The future of any heroic action is hard to navigate; and the noble sacrifice of her pride and all the traditional values that Marcia had made in giving herself to Bartley was inevitably tested by the same harsh realities that every marriage faces.
That salaried place which he was always seeking on the staff of some newspaper, proved not so easy to get as he had imagined in the flush of his first successes. Ricker willingly included him among the Chronicle-Abstract's own correspondents and special reporters; and he held the same off-and-on relation to several other papers; but he remained without a more definite position. He earned perhaps more money than a salary would have given him, and in their way of living he and Marcia laid up something out of what he earned. But it did not seem to her that he exerted himself to get a salaried place; she was sure that, if so many others who could not write half so well had places, he might get one if he only kept trying. Bartley laughed at these business-turns of Marcia's as he called them; but sometimes they enraged him, and he had days of sullen resentment when he resisted all her advances towards reconciliation. But he kept hard at work, and he always owned at last how disinterested her most ridiculous alarm had been.
The salaried job he was always searching for at some newspaper turned out to be harder to get than he had thought in the excitement of his early successes. Ricker gladly included him among the Chronicle-Abstract's own correspondents and special reporters; he also had a similar off-and-on relationship with several other papers. However, he still lacked a more stable position. He probably made more money than he would have with a salary, and he and Marcia managed to save a little from what he earned. But she felt he wasn’t making enough of an effort to land a salaried job; she was convinced that if so many others who couldn’t write nearly as well had jobs, he could get one if he just kept trying. Bartley laughed at what he called Marcia's business-turns, but sometimes they infuriated him, and he would have days filled with sullen resentment where he resisted all her attempts to reconcile. Still, he worked hard, and eventually he would acknowledge how unselfish her most outrageous worries had really been.
Once, when they had been talking as usual about that permanent place on some newspaper, she said, “But I should only want that to be temporary, if you got it. I want you should go on with the law, Bartley. I've been thinking about that. I don't want you should always be a journalist.”
Once, while they were chatting as usual about that permanent position at some newspaper, she said, “But I’d only want that to be temporary if you got it. I want you to continue with the law, Bartley. I've been thinking about it. I don’t want you to always be a journalist.”
Bartley smiled. “What could I do for a living, I should like to know, while I was studying law?”
Bartley smiled. “What could I possibly do for work while I’m studying law?”
“You could do some newspaper work,—enough to support us,—while you were studying. You said when we first came to Boston that you should settle down to the law.”
“You could do some newspaper work—enough to support us—while you were studying. You said when we first came to Boston that you would settle down to the law.”
“I hadn't got my eyes open, then. I've got a good deal longer row to hoe than I supposed, before I can settle down to the law.”
“I didn’t have my eyes open then. I have a lot more work ahead of me than I thought before I can settle down to the law.”
“Father said you didn't need to study but a little more.”
“Dad said you only needed to study a bit more.”
“Not if I were going into the practice at Equity. But it's a very different thing, I can tell you, in Boston: I should have to go in for a course in the Harvard Law School, just for a little start-off.”
“Not if I were starting out in the practice at Equity. But it's a really different situation, believe me, in Boston: I would need to enroll in Harvard Law School, just to get my foot in the door.”
Marcia was silenced, but she asked, after a moment, “Then you're going to give up the law, altogether?”
Marcia was quiet for a moment, then she asked, “So you’re just going to give up on the law completely?”
“I don't know what I'm going to do; I'm going to do the best I can for the present, and trust to luck. I don't like special reporting, for a finality; but I shouldn't like shystering, either.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do; I’m going to do my best for now, and hope for the best. I’m not a fan of special reporting, for the record; but I wouldn’t want to be shady, either.”
“What's shystering?” asked Marcia.
“What's shystering?” Marcia asked.
“It's pettifogging in the city courts. Wait till I can get my basis,—till I have a fixed amount of money for a fixed amount of work,—and then I'll talk to you about taking up the law again. I'm willing to do it whenever it seems the right thing. I guess I should like it, though I don't see why it's any better than journalism, and I don't believe it has any more prizes.”
“It's petty nonsense in the city courts. Just wait until I have a solid foundation—until I have a set amount of money for a specific amount of work—then I’ll discuss taking up the law again. I'm open to it whenever it feels like the right choice. I think I would enjoy it, although I don’t understand why it's any better than journalism, and I don’t think it offers any more rewards.”
“But you've been a long time trying to get your basis on a newspaper,” she reasoned. “Why don't you try to get it in some other way? Why don't you try to get a clerk's place with some lawyer?”
“But you've been working for a long time to get a job at a newspaper,” she said. “Why don't you try to find something else? Why not look for a job as a clerk with a lawyer?”
“Well, suppose I was willing to starve along in that way, how should I go about to get such a place?” demanded Bartley, with impatience.
“Well, if I was ready to suffer like that, how would I go about finding such a place?” Bartley asked, impatiently.
“Why don't you go to that Mr. Halleck you visited here? You used to tell me he was going to be a lawyer.”
“Why don't you go see that Mr. Halleck you visited here? You used to tell me he was going to be a lawyer.”
“Well, if you remember so distinctly what I said about going into the law when I first came to Boston,” said her husband angrily, “perhaps you'll remember that I said I shouldn't go to Halleck until I didn't need his help. I shall not go to him for his help.”
"Well, if you remember so clearly what I said about going into law when I first got to Boston," her husband said angrily, "maybe you'll also remember that I said I wouldn't go to Halleck until I really needed his help. I'm not going to him for help."
Marcia gave way to spiteful tears. “It seems as if you were ashamed to let them know that you were in town. Are you afraid I shall want to get acquainted with them? Do you suppose I shall want to go to their parties, and disgrace you?”
Marcia broke down in hurtful tears. “It feels like you’re ashamed to admit you’re in town. Are you worried I’ll want to meet them? Do you think I’d want to go to their parties and embarrass you?”
Bartley took his cigar out of his mouth, and looked blackly at her. “So, that's what you've been thinking, is it?”
Bartley took the cigar out of his mouth and shot her a dark look. “So, that’s what you’ve been thinking, huh?”
She threw herself upon his neck. “No! no, it isn't!” she cried, hysterically. “You know that I never thought it till this instant; you know I didn't think it at all; I just said it. My nerves are all gone; I don't know what I'm saying half the time, and you're as strict with me as if I were as well as ever! I may as well take off my things,—I'm not well enough to go with you, to-day, Bartley.”
She threw her arms around his neck. “No! No, it's not true!” she cried, hysterically. “You know I never thought that until just now; you know I didn't think it at all; I just said it. My nerves are shot; I don't even know what I'm saying half the time, and you're as strict with me as if I were perfectly fine! I might as well take off my clothes—I’m not well enough to go with you today, Bartley.”
She had been dressing while they talked for an entertainment which Bartley was going to report for the Chronicle-Abstract; and now she made a feint of wishing to remove her hat. He would not let her. He said that if she did not go, he should not; he reproached her with not wishing to go with him any more; he coaxed her laughingly and fondly.
She had been getting dressed while they chatted about a piece Bartley was set to report for the Chronicle-Abstract; and now she pretended she wanted to take off her hat. He wouldn’t allow it. He said that if she didn’t go, he wouldn’t either; he teased her about not wanting to go with him any longer; he playfully and affectionately urged her.
“It's only because I'm not so strong, now,” she said in a whisper that ended in a kiss on his cheek. “You must walk very slowly, and not hurry me.”
“It's only because I'm not as strong right now,” she said in a whisper that concluded with a kiss on his cheek. “You need to walk really slowly and not rush me.”
The entertainment was to be given in aid of the Indigent Children's Surf-Bathing Society, and it was at the end of June, rather late in the season. But the society itself was an afterthought, not conceived till a great many people had left town on whose assistance such a charity must largely depend. Strenuous appeals had been made, however: it was represented that ten thousand poor children could be transported to Nantasket Beach, and there, as one of the ladies on the committee said, bathed, clam-baked, and lemonaded three times during the summer at a cost so small that it was a saving to spend the money. Class Day falling about the same time, many exiles at Newport and on the North Shore came up and down; and the affair promised to be one of social distinction, if not pecuniary success. The entertainment was to be varied: a distinguished poet was to read an old poem of his, and a distinguished poetess was to read a new poem of hers; some professional people were to follow with comic singing; an elocutionist was to give impressions of noted public speakers; and a number of vocal and instrumental amateurs were to contribute their talent.
The event was set to support the Indigent Children's Surf-Bathing Society, scheduled for the end of June, which was a bit late in the season. However, the society itself was an afterthought, established after many potential supporters had already left town, a fact that largely affected the charity's ability to succeed. Still, strong appeals had been made: it was claimed that ten thousand underprivileged children could be taken to Nantasket Beach, where they could swim, enjoy clam bakes, and drink lemonade three times over the summer at a cost so low that spending the money was practically a bargain. With Class Day happening around the same time, many people vacationing at Newport and along the North Shore came to town; so, the event was expected to be socially significant, if not financially successful. The entertainment would feature a variety of acts: a well-known poet was set to read an old poem, a celebrated poetess would share a new poem, some professionals would perform comedic songs, an elocutionist would provide impressions of famous public speakers, and several amateur vocalists and instrumentalists would showcase their talents.
Bartley had instructions from Ricker to see that his report was very full socially. “We want something lively, and at the same time nice and tasteful, about the whole thing, and I guess you're the man to do it. Get Mrs. Hubbard to go with you, and keep you from making a fool of yourself about the costumes.” He gave Bartley two tickets. “Mighty hard to get, I can tell you, for love or money,—especially love,” he said; and Bartley made much of this difficulty in impressing Marcia's imagination with the uncommon character of the occasion. She had put on a new dress which she had just finished for herself, and which was a marvel not only of cheapness, but of elegance; she had plagiarized the idea from the costume of a lady with whom she stopped to look in at a milliner's window where she formed the notion of her bonnet. But Marcia had imagined the things anew in relation to herself, and made them her own; when Bartley first saw her in them, though he had witnessed their growth from the germ, he said that he was afraid of her, she was so splendid, and he did not quite know whether he felt acquainted. When they were seated at the concert, and had time to look about them, he whispered, “Well, Marsh, I don't see anything here that comes near you in style,” and she flung a little corner of her drapery out over his hand so that she could squeeze it: she was quite happy again.
Bartley had instructions from Ricker to make sure his report was really thorough socially. “We want something lively, yet nice and tasteful about the whole thing, and I guess you're the right guy for it. Get Mrs. Hubbard to go with you, and help you avoid embarrassing yourself over the costumes.” He gave Bartley two tickets. “They're really hard to get, I can tell you, for love or money—especially love,” he said; and Bartley emphasized this difficulty to impress Marcia about how special the event was. She had put on a new dress she had just made for herself, which was not only inexpensive but also elegant; she had taken inspiration from a lady's outfit she saw while looking in a milliner's window to create her bonnet. But Marcia had reimagined the ideas to fit her own style, making them uniquely hers; when Bartley first saw her in them, even though he had watched her design them from the beginning, he felt a little intimidated by her beauty, unsure if he truly knew her. Once they were seated at the concert and had a moment to look around, he whispered, “Well, Marsh, I don’t see anything here that matches your style,” and she playfully tossed a little bit of her fabric over his hand so she could hold it: she was really happy again.
After the concert, Bartley left her for a moment, and went up to a group of the committee near the platform, to get some points for his report. He spoke to one of the gentlemen, note-book and pencil in hand, and the gentleman referred him to one of the ladies of the committee, who, after a moment of hesitation, demanded in a rich tone of injury and surprise, “Why! Isn't this Mr. Hubbard?” and, indignantly answering herself, “Of course it is!” gave her hand with a sort of dramatic cordiality, and flooded him with questions: “When did you come to Boston? Are you at the Hallecks'? Did you come—Or no, you're not Harvard. You're not living in Boston? And what in the world are you getting items for? Mr. Hubbard, Mr. Atherton.”
After the concert, Bartley left her for a moment and approached a group of committee members near the platform to gather some information for his report. He spoke to one of the guys, notebook and pencil in hand, and the guy directed him to one of the committee's ladies, who, after a brief pause, exclaimed with a tone of surprise and injury, “Why! Isn't this Mr. Hubbard?” Then, indignantly answering her own question, “Of *course* it is!” she extended her hand with a sort of dramatic warmth and bombarded him with questions: “When did you come to Boston? Are you staying with the Hallecks? Did you come—Or no, you're *not* at Harvard. You're not *living* in Boston? And what in the world are *you* getting items for? Mr. Hubbard, Mr. Atherton.”
She introduced him in a breathless climax to the gentleman to whom he had first spoken, and who had listened to her attack on Bartley with a smile which he was at no trouble to hide from her. “Which question are you going to answer first, Mr. Hubbard?” he asked quietly, while his eyes searched Bartley's for an instant with inquiry which was at once kind and keen. His face had the distinction which comes of being clean-shaven in our bearded times.
She introduced him in an excited rush to the man he had first spoken to, who had listened to her criticism of Bartley with a smile that he didn’t bother to hide from her. “Which question are you going to answer first, Mr. Hubbard?” he asked calmly, while his eyes briefly searched Bartley's with a look that was both friendly and sharp. His face had the elegance that comes from being clean-shaven in a time when most men had beards.
“Oh, the last,” said Bartley. “I'm reporting the concert for the Chronicle-Abstract, and I want to interview some one in authority about it.”
“Oh, the last,” said Bartley. “I'm covering the concert for the Chronicle-Abstract, and I want to interview someone in charge about it.”
“Then interview me, Mr. Hubbard,” cried the young lady. “I'm in authority about this affair,—it's my own invention, as the White Knight says,—and then I'll interview you afterwards. And you've gone into journalism, like all the Harvard men! So glad it's you, for you can be a perfect godsend to the cause if you will. The entertainment hasn't given us all the money we shall want, by any means, and we shall need all the help the press can give us. Ask me any questions you please, Mr. Hubbard: there isn't a soul here that I wouldn't sacrifice to the last personal particular, if the press will only do its duty in return. You've no idea how we've been working during the last fortnight since this Old Man of the Sea-Bathing sprang upon us. I was sitting quietly at home, thinking of anything else in the world, I can assure you, when the atrocious idea occurred to me.” She ran on to give a full sketch of the inception and history of the scheme up to the present time. Suddenly she arrested herself and Bartley's flying pencil: “Why, you're not putting all that nonsense down?”
“Then interview me, Mr. Hubbard,” the young lady exclaimed. “I'm in charge of this situation — it’s my own invention, as the White Knight would say — and then I'll interview you afterwards. And you've gone into journalism, just like all the Harvard guys! I’m so glad it’s you because you could be a huge help to our cause if you want. The event hasn’t raised all the funds we need, not by a long shot, and we’re going to need all the support the media can provide. Feel free to ask me anything, Mr. Hubbard: there isn't a single person here I wouldn’t sacrifice for the cause if the media will just do its part in return. You have no idea how hard we’ve been working over the past two weeks since this Old Man of the Sea-Bathing idea hit us. I was sitting quietly at home, thinking about anything but this, I assure you, when the terrible idea popped into my head.” She continued to describe the origin and development of the project up to this point. Suddenly, she stopped both herself and Bartley's flying pencil: “Wait, you’re not writing down all that nonsense, are you?”
“Certainly I am,” said Bartley, while Mr. Atherton, with a laugh, turned and walked away to talk with some other ladies. “It's the very thing I want. I shall get in ahead of all the other papers on this; they haven't had anything like it, yet.”
“Absolutely,” Bartley replied, while Mr. Atherton chuckled and walked away to chat with some other women. “This is exactly what I need. I’ll be the first to cover this; none of the other publications have anything like it yet.”
She looked at him for a moment in horror. Then, “Well, go on; I would do anything for the cause!” she cried.
She stared at him for a moment in shock. Then she said, “Come on; I’d do anything for the cause!”
“Tell me who's been here, then,” said Bartley.
“Tell me who's been here, then,” Bartley said.
She recoiled a little. “I don't like giving names.”
She flinched slightly. “I don’t like giving names.”
“But I can't say who the people were, unless you do.”
“But I can't say who the people were, unless you can.”
“That's true,” said the young lady thoughtfully. She prided herself on her thoughtfulness, which sometimes came before and sometimes after the fact. “You're not obliged to say who told you?”
"That's true," the young woman said thoughtfully. She took pride in her thoughtfulness, which sometimes came before and sometimes after the fact. "You're not required to say who told you?"
“Of course not.”
"Definitely not."
She ran over a list of historical and distinguished names, and he slyly asked if this and that lady were not dressed so, and so, and worked in the costumes from her unconsciously elaborate answers; she was afterwards astonished that he should have known what people had on. Lastly, he asked what the committee expected to do next, and was enabled to enrich his report with many authoritative expressions and intimations. The lady became all zeal in these confidences to the public, at last; she told everything she knew, and a great deal that she merely hoped.
She went through a list of notable historical names, and he playfully asked if certain ladies were dressed a certain way, and he incorporated her elaborate but unconscious responses into his remarks; she was later surprised that he had been aware of what people were wearing. Finally, he inquired about what the committee intended to do next, and he was able to enhance his report with various authoritative comments and suggestions. The woman became very enthusiastic about sharing these insights with the public; she revealed everything she knew and a lot that she just speculated.
“And now come into the committee-room and have a cup of coffee; I know you must be faint with all this talking,” she concluded. “I want to ask you something about yourself.” She was not older than Bartley, but she addressed him with the freedom we use in encouraging younger people.
“And now come into the committee room and have a cup of coffee; I know you must be tired from all this talking,” she finished. “I want to ask you something about yourself.” She wasn't older than Bartley, but she spoke to him with the casualness we use when encouraging younger people.
“Thank you,” he said coolly; “I can't, very well. I must go back to my wife, and hurry up this report.”
“Thanks,” he said casually; “I can’t really. I need to get back to my wife and wrap up this report.”
“Oh! is Mrs. Hubbard here?” asked the young lady with well-controlled surprise. “Present me to her!” she cried, with that fearlessness of social consequences for which she was noted: she believed there were ways of getting rid of undesirable people without treating them rudely.
“Oh! Is Mrs. Hubbard here?” asked the young lady with controlled surprise. “Introduce me to her!” she exclaimed, with the boldness in social situations for which she was known: she thought there were ways to get rid of unwanted people without being rude.
The audience had got out of the hall, and Marcia stood alone near one of the doors waiting for Bartley. He glanced proudly toward her, and said, “I shall be very glad.”
The audience had left the hall, and Marcia stood by one of the doors waiting for Bartley. He looked at her with pride and said, “I’ll be really happy.”
Miss Kingsbury drifted by his side across the intervening space, and was ready to take Marcia impressively by the hand when she reached her; she had promptly decided her to be very beautiful and elegantly simple in dress, but she found her smaller than she had looked at a distance. Miss Kingsbury was herself rather large,—sometimes, she thought, rather too large: certainly too large if she had not had such perfect command of every inch of herself. In complexion she was richly blonde, with beautiful fair hair roughed over her forehead, as if by a breeze, and apt to escape in sunny tendrils over the peachy tints of her temples. Her features were massive rather than fine; and though she thoroughly admired her chin and respected her mouth, she had doubts about her nose, which she frankly referred to friends for solution: had it not too much of a knob at the end? She seemed to tower over Marcia as she took her hand at Bartley's introduction, and expressed her pleasure at meeting her.
Miss Kingsbury floated by his side across the gap and was ready to impressively take Marcia's hand when she reached her. She quickly decided that Marcia was very beautiful and elegantly dressed, but found her smaller than she had appeared from a distance. Miss Kingsbury herself was quite tall—sometimes she thought, maybe a bit too tall; definitely too tall if she didn't have perfect control over every part of herself. Her complexion was a rich blonde, with lovely fair hair tousled over her forehead as if by a breeze, and it often escaped in sunny strands over the rosy tones of her temples. Her features were more solid than delicate; and while she genuinely admired her chin and respected her mouth, she had some doubts about her nose, which she openly discussed with friends: did it have a bit too much of a bulb at the end? She seemed to loom over Marcia as she took her hand during Bartley's introduction, expressing her pleasure at meeting her.
“I don't know why it need be such a surprise to find one's gentlemen friends married, but it always is, somehow. I don't think Mr. Hubbard would have known me if I hadn't insisted upon his recognizing me; I can't blame him: it's three years since we met. Do you help him with his reports? I know you do! You must make him lenient to our entertainment,—the cause is so good! How long have you been in Boston? Though I don't know why I should ask that,—you may have always been in Boston! One used to know everybody; but the place is so large, now. I should like to come and see you; but I'm going out of town to-morrow, for the summer. I'm not really here, now, except ex officio; I ought to have been away weeks ago, but this Indigent Surf-Bathing has kept me. You've no idea what such an undertaking is. But you must let me have your address, and as soon as I get back to town in the fall, I shall insist upon looking you up. Good by! I must run away, now, and leave you; there are a thousand things for me to look after yet to-day.” She took Marcia again by the hand, and superadded some bows and nods and smiles of parting, after she released her, but she did not ask her to come into the committee-room and have some coffee; and Bartley took his wife's hand under his arm and went out of the hall.
“I don’t know why it’s such a surprise to find out your guy friends are married, but it always is. I don’t think Mr. Hubbard would have recognized me if I hadn’t insisted he do so; I can’t blame him—it's been three years since we last met. Do you help him with his reports? I know you do! You *have* to make him easy on our event—the cause is so good! How long have you been in Boston? Although I don’t know why I should ask that—you might have always been here! You used to know everyone, but the place *is* so big now. I’d love to come see you, but I’m heading out of town tomorrow for the summer. I’m not really here now, just *ex officio*; I should have left weeks ago, but this Indigent Surf-Bathing has kept me. You have no idea what a project that is. But please let me have your address, and as soon as I’m back in town in the fall, I’ll make sure to look you up. *Good* bye! I have to run now and leave you; there are a thousand things I still need to take care of today.” She took Marcia’s hand again, added some bows, nods, and smiles as they parted, but she didn’t invite her to come into the committee room for some coffee; and Bartley took his wife’s hand under his arm and exited the hall.
“Well,” he said, with a man's simple pleasure in Miss Kingsbury's friendliness to his wife, “that's the girl I used to tell you about,—the rich one with the money in her own right, whom I met at the Hallecks'. She seemed to think you were about the thing, Marsh! I saw her eyes open as she came up, and I felt awfully proud of you; you never looked half so well. But why didn't you say something?”
“Well,” he said, enjoying Miss Kingsbury's friendliness towards his wife, “that’s the girl I used to tell you about—the rich one who has her own money, whom I met at the Hallecks’. She seemed to think you were pretty special, Marsh! I noticed her eyes widen when she approached, and I felt so proud of you; you looked amazing. But why didn’t you say something?”
“She didn't give me any chance,” said Marcia, “and I had nothing to say, anyway. I thought she was very disagreeable.”
“She didn't give me any chance,” Marcia said, “and I had nothing to say, anyway. I thought she was really unpleasant.”
“Disagreeable!” repeated Bartley in amaze.
"Disagreeable!" Bartley exclaimed in shock.
Miss Kingsbury went back to the committee-room, where one of the amateurs had been lecturing upon her: “Clara Kingsbury can say and do, from the best heart in the world, more offensive things in ten minutes than malice could invent in a week. Somebody ought to go out and drag her away from that reporter by main force. But I presume it's too late already; she's had time to destroy us all. You'll see that there won't be a shred left of us in his paper at any rate. Really, I wonder that, in a city full of nervous and exasperated people like Boston, Clara Kingsbury has been suffered to live. She throws her whole soul into everything she undertakes, and she has gone so en masse into this Indigent Bathing, and splashed about in it so, that I can't understand how we got anybody to come to-day. Why, I haven't the least doubt that she's offered that poor man a ticket to go down to Nantasket and bathe with the other Indigents; she's treated me as if I ought to be personally surf-bathed for the last fortnight; and if there's any chance for us left by her tactlessness, you may be sure she's gone at it with her conscience and simply swept it off the face of the earth.”
Miss Kingsbury returned to the committee room, where one of the volunteers had been going on about her: “Clara Kingsbury can say and do more offensive things in ten minutes, purely out of goodwill, than someone with real malice could come up with in a week. Someone should just go out and physically pull her away from that reporter. But I guess it's too late now; she's probably managed to ruin us all. You’ll see that there won’t be a trace of us left in his paper, for sure. Honestly, I’m amazed that, in a city full of anxious and irritated people like Boston, Clara Kingsbury is still around. She puts her heart and soul into everything she does, and she’s thrown herself so deeply into this Indigent Bathing thing, and has made such a splash, that I can’t believe we still had anyone come today. I wouldn’t be surprised if she offered that poor guy a ticket to go down to Nantasket and bathe with the other Indigents; she’s treated me like I needed to be personally surf-bathed for the past two weeks; and if there’s any chance left for us because of her clumsiness, you can bet she’s gone at it full force and just wiped us off the map.”
XVIII.
One hot day in August, when Bartley had been doing nothing for a week, and Marcia was gloomily forecasting the future when they would have to begin living upon the money they had put into the savings bank, she reverted to the question of his taking up the law again. She was apt to recur to this in any moment of discouragement, and she urged him now to give up his newspaper work with that wearisome persistence with which women torment the men they love.
One hot day in August, after Bartley had been idle for a week, and Marcia was sadly predicting the day they would have to start relying on the money they had saved, she brought up the idea of him returning to law again. She tended to bring this up whenever she felt discouraged and pressed him now to quit his newspaper job with that exhausting persistence that women often use to nag the men they care about.
“My newspaper work seems to have given me up, my dear,” said Bartley. “It's like asking a fellow not to marry a girl that won't have him.” He laughed and then whistled; and Marcia burst into fretful, futile tears, which he did not attempt to assuage.
“My newspaper work seems to have abandoned me, my dear,” said Bartley. “It’s like asking someone not to pursue a girl who isn’t interested in him.” He laughed and then whistled; and Marcia broke into frustrated, pointless tears, which he did not try to comfort.
They had been all summer in town; the country would have been no change to them; and they knew nothing of the seaside except the crowded, noisy, expensive resorts near the city. Bartley wished her to go to one of these for a week or two, at any rate, but she would not; and in fact neither of them had the born citizen's conception of the value of a summer vacation. But they had found their attic intolerable; and, the single gentlemen having all given up their rooms by this time, Mrs. Nash let Marcia have one lower down, where they sat looking out on the hot street.
They had spent the entire summer in the city; the countryside wouldn’t have felt different to them, and they were only familiar with the crowded, noisy, and pricey resorts near their home. Bartley wanted her to go to one of those places for a week or two at least, but she refused; in fact, neither of them understood the typical value of a summer vacation. However, they found their attic unbearable; and since all the single men had moved out by now, Mrs. Nash let Marcia have a room on a lower floor, where they sat looking out at the hot street.
“Well,” cried Marcia at last, “you don't care for my feelings, or you would take up the law again.”
“Well,” shouted Marcia finally, “you don’t care about my feelings, or you would pursue the law again.”
Her husband rose with a sigh that was half a curse, and went out. After what she had said, he would not give her the satisfaction of knowing what he meant to do; but he had it in his head to go to that Mr. Atherton to whom Miss Kingsbury had introduced him, and ask his advice; he had found out that Mr. Atherton was a lawyer, and he believed that he would tell him what to do. He could at least give him some authoritative discouragement which he might use in these discussions with Marcia.
Her husband got up with a sigh that was almost a curse and walked out. After what she had said, he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing his plans; but he thought about going to Mr. Atherton, the lawyer Miss Kingsbury had introduced him to, to ask for his advice. He figured Mr. Atherton could tell him what to do or at least give him some solid reasons to use in his discussions with Marcia.
Mr. Atherton had his office in the Events building, and Bartley was on his way thither when he met Ricker.
Mr. Atherton had his office in the Events building, and Bartley was on his way there when he ran into Ricker.
“Seen Witherby?” asked his friend. “He was round looking for you.”
“Have you seen Witherby?” asked his friend. “He was here looking for you.”
“What does Witherby want with me?” asked Bartley, with a certain resentment.
“What does Witherby want with me?” Bartley asked, feeling a bit resentful.
“Wants to give you the managing-editorship of the Events,” said Ricker, jocosely.
“Wants to give you the managing editor position for the Events,” Ricker said jokingly.
“Pshaw! Well, he knows where to find me, if he wants me very badly.”
“Seriously! Well, he knows how to reach me if he really wants to.”
“Perhaps he doesn't,” suggested Ricker. “In that case, you'd better look him up.”
“Maybe he doesn't,” Ricker suggested. “If that's the case, you should look him up.”
“Why, you don't advise—”
"Why, you don't recommend—"
“Oh, I don't advise anything! But if he can let bygones be bygones, I guess you can afford to! I don't know just what he wants with you, but if he offers you anything like a basis, you'd better take it.”
“Oh, I don’t recommend anything! But if he can move on from the past, I suppose you can too! I’m not sure what he wants from you, but if he offers you something that resembles a foundation, you should probably take it.”
Bartley's basis had come to be a sort of by-word between them; Ricker usually met him with some such demand as, “Well, what about the basis?” or, “How's your poor basis?” Bartley's ardor for a salaried position amused him, and he often tried to argue him out of it. “You're much better off as a free lance. You make as much money as most of the fellows in places, and you lead a pleasanter life. If you were on any one paper, you'd have to be on duty about fifteen hours out of the twenty-four; you'd be out every night till three or four o'clock; you'd have to do fires, and murders, and all sorts of police business; and now you work mostly on fancy jobs,—something you suggest yourself, or something you're specially asked to do. That's a kind of a compliment, and it gives you scope.”
Bartley's situation had become a bit of a joke between them; Ricker usually greeted him with questions like, “So, what’s happening with the situation?” or, “How's your poor situation?” Bartley's enthusiasm for a steady job amused him, and he often tried to talk him out of it. “You’re much better off as a freelancer. You make just as much money as most guys in those jobs, and you have a nicer life. If you worked for a single publication, you'd be on call about fifteen hours a day; you'd be out every night until three or four in the morning; you'd have to cover fires, murders, and all kinds of police stuff; and now you mainly work on creative projects—either something you come up with or something you’re specifically asked to do. That’s a kind of compliment, and it gives you freedom.”
Nevertheless, if Bartley had his heart set upon a basis, Ricker wanted him to have it. “Of course,” he said, “I was only joking about the basis. But if Witherby should have something permanent to offer, don't quarrel with your bread and butter, and don't hold yourself too cheap. Witherby's going to get all he can, for as little as he can, every time.”
Nevertheless, if Bartley was determined to have a foundation, Ricker wanted him to have it. “Of course,” he said, “I was just kidding about the foundation. But if Witherby has something solid to offer, don’t argue with your livelihood, and don’t undervalue yourself too much. Witherby is going to get everything he can for as little as he can, every single time.”
Ricker was a newspaper man in every breath. His great interest in life was the Chronicle-Abstract, which paid him poorly and worked him hard. To get in ahead of the other papers was the object for which he toiled with unremitting zeal; but after that he liked to see a good fellow prosper, and he had for Bartley that feeling of comradery which comes out among journalists when their rivalries are off. He would hate to lose Bartley from the Chronicle-Abstract; if Witherby meant business, Bartley and he might be excoriating each other before a week passed in sarcastic references to “our esteemed contemporary of the Events,” and “our esteemed contemporary of the Chronicle-Abstract”; but he heartily wished him luck, and hoped it might be some sort of inside work.
Ricker was a newspaper guy through and through. His main passion in life was the Chronicle-Abstract, which paid him poorly and worked him hard. Getting ahead of the other papers was what drove him with relentless energy; but beyond that, he liked to see a good guy succeed, and he felt a sense of camaraderie with Bartley that comes up among journalists when their rivalries are set aside. He would hate to lose Bartley from the Chronicle-Abstract; if Witherby was serious, Bartley and he could be trading sarcastic jabs within a week about “our esteemed competitor at the Events” and “our esteemed competitor at the Chronicle-Abstract”; but he genuinely wished him luck and hoped it would lead to some kind of inside job.
When Ricker left him Bartley hesitated. He was half minded to go home and wait for Witherby to look him up, as the most dignified and perhaps the most prudent course. But he was curious and impatient, and he was afraid of letting the chance, whatever it might be, slip through his fingers. He suddenly resolved upon a little ruse, which would still oblige Witherby to make the advance, and yet would risk nothing by delay. He mounted to Witherby's room in the Events building, and pushed open the door. Then he drew back, embarrassed, as if he had made a mistake. “Excuse me,” he said, “isn't Mr. Atherton's office on this floor?”
When Ricker left, Bartley hesitated. He was considering going home and waiting for Witherby to come find him, thinking it would be the most dignified and maybe the safest choice. But he felt curious and restless, worried about missing out on whatever opportunity might be there. He quickly came up with a little trick that would still force Witherby to make the first move, without risking anything by waiting. He went up to Witherby's room in the Events building and opened the door. Then he stepped back, feeling awkward, as if he had made a mistake. “Sorry,” he said, “isn't Mr. Atherton's office on this floor?”
Witherby looked up from the papers on his desk, and cleared his throat. When he overreached himself he was apt to hold any party to the transaction accountable for his error. Ever since he refused Bartley's paper on the logging-camp, he had accused him in his heart of fraud because he had sold the rejected sketch to another paper, and anticipated Witherby's tardy enterprise in the same direction. Each little success that Bartley made added to Witherby's dislike; and whilst Bartley had written for all the other papers, he had never got any work from the Events. Witherby had the guilty sense of having hated him as he looked up, and Bartley on his part was uneasily sensible of some mocking paragraphs of a more or less personal cast, which he had written in the Chronicle-Abstract, about the enterprise of the Events.
Witherby looked up from the papers on his desk and cleared his throat. When he went too far, he tended to hold anyone involved in the deal accountable for his mistakes. Ever since he turned down Bartley's article about the logging camp, he had secretly accused him of being dishonest because Bartley sold the rejected piece to another publication and jumped ahead of Witherby’s slow plans in the same area. Every little success Bartley achieved increased Witherby’s resentment; and while Bartley had written for all the other papers, he had never gotten any work from the Events. Witherby felt a guilty sense of having disliked Bartley as he looked up, while Bartley was uncomfortably aware of some mocking comments he had made in the Chronicle-Abstract, which were somewhat personal, about the Events' endeavors.
“Mr. Atherton is on the floor above,” said Witherby. “But I'm very glad you happened to look in, Mr. Hubbard. I—I was just thinking about you. Ah—wont you take a chair?”
“Mr. Atherton is on the floor above,” said Witherby. “But I'm really glad you stopped by, Mr. Hubbard. I—I was just thinking about you. Ah—would you like to take a seat?”
“Thanks,” said Bartley, non-committally; but he sat down in the chair which the other rose to offer him.
“Thanks,” Bartley said, sounding indifferent; however, he took a seat in the chair that the other person had just offered him.
Witherby fumbled about among the things on his desk before he resumed his own seat. “I hope you have been well since I saw you?”
Witherby searched through the items on his desk before sitting back down in his seat. “I hope you’ve been doing well since I last saw you?”
“Oh, yes, I'm always well. How have you been?” Bartley wondered whither this exchange of civilities tended; but he believed he could keep it up as long as old Witherby could.
“Oh, yes, I'm always good. How have you been?” Bartley wondered where this polite conversation was going; but he thought he could keep it going as long as old Witherby could.
“Why, I have not been very well,” said Witherby, getting into his chair, and taking up a paper-weight to help him in talk. “The fact is, I find that I have been working too hard. I have undertaken to manage the editorial department of the Events in addition to looking after its business, and the care has been too great. It has told upon me. I flatter myself that I have not allowed either department to suffer—”
“Honestly, I haven’t been feeling very well,” said Witherby as he settled into his chair, grabbing a paperweight to aid in the conversation. “The truth is, I’ve been working too hard. I took on the responsibility of managing the editorial department of the Events along with handling its business, and it’s been a lot to deal with. It’s taken a toll on me. I like to think I haven’t let either side suffer—”
He referred this point so directly to him, that Bartley made a murmur of assent, and Witherby resumed.
He pointed this out to him so directly that Bartley nodded in agreement, and Witherby continued.
“But the care has told upon me. I am not so well as I could wish. I need rest, and I need help,” he added.
“But the stress has taken its toll on me. I'm not as well as I'd like to be. I need rest, and I need help,” he added.
Bartley had by this time made up his mind that, if Witherby had anything to say to him, he should say it unaided.
Bartley had decided that if Witherby wanted to talk to him, he should do it on his own.
Witherby put down the paper-weight, and gave his attention for a moment to a paper-cutter. “I don't know whether you have heard that Mr. Clayton is going to leave us?”
Witherby set down the paperweight and briefly focused on a paper cutter. "I don't know if you've heard that Mr. Clayton is leaving us?"
“No,” Bartley said, “I hadn't heard that.”
“No,” Bartley said, “I hadn't heard that.”
“Yes, he is going to leave us. Mr. Clayton and I have not agreed upon some points, and we have both judged it best that we should part.” Witherby paused again, and changed the positions of his inkstand and mucilage-bottle. “Mr. Clayton has failed me, as I may say, at the last moment, and we have been compelled to part. I found Mr. Clayton—unpractical.”
“Yes, he’s going to leave us. Mr. Clayton and I couldn’t agree on a few things, and we both think it’s for the best that we go our separate ways.” Witherby paused again, adjusting the positions of his inkstand and glue bottle. “Mr. Clayton let me down, so to speak, at the last moment, and we’ve had no choice but to part ways. I found Mr. Clayton—unrealistic.”
He looked again at Bartley, who said, “Yes?”
He looked back at Bartley, who replied, “Yes?”
“Yes. I found Mr. Clayton so much at variance in his views with—with my own views—that I could do nothing with him. He has used language to me which I am sure he will regret. But that is neither here nor there; he is going. I have had my eye on you, Mr. Hubbard, ever since you came to Boston, and have watched your career with interest. But I thought of Mr. Clayton, in the first instance, because he was already attached to the Events, and I wished to promote him. Office during good behavior, and promotion in the direct line: I'm that much of a civil-service reformer,” said Witherby.
“Yes. I found Mr. Clayton's views to be so different from mine that I couldn't work with him. He has said things to me that I’m sure he’ll regret. But that’s neither here nor there; he’s leaving. I've been keeping an eye on you, Mr. Hubbard, ever since you came to Boston, and I’ve been following your career with interest. But I initially thought of Mr. Clayton because he was already part of the Events, and I wanted to help him advance. A position for good behavior, and promotion on a clear path: I’m that much of a civil-service reformer,” said Witherby.
“Certainly,” said Bartley.
"Sure," said Bartley.
“But of course my idea in starting the Events was to make money.”
“But of course, my goal in starting the Events was to make money.”
“Of course.”
"Of course."
“I hold that the first duty of a public journal is to make money for the owner; all the rest follows naturally.”
“I believe that the primary responsibility of a public newspaper is to generate profit for the owner; everything else comes naturally after that.”
“You're quite right, Mr. Witherby,” said Bartley. “Unless it makes money, there can be no enterprise about it, no independence,—nothing. That was the way I did with my little paper down in Maine. The first thing—I told the committee when I took hold of the paper—is to keep it from losing money; the next is to make money with it. First peaceable, then pure: that's what I told them.”
“You're absolutely right, Mr. Witherby,” Bartley said. “If it doesn’t make money, then there’s no business, no independence—nothing at all. That’s how I managed my little paper back in Maine. The first thing I told the committee when I took it over was to stop it from losing money; the next was to start making money. First, keep it stable, then make it profitable: that’s what I told them.”
“Precisely so!” Witherby was now so much at his ease with Bartley that he left off tormenting the things on his desk, and used his hands in gesticulating. “Look at the churches themselves! No church can do any good till it's on a paying basis. As long as a church is in debt, it can't secure the best talent for the pulpit or the choir, and the members go about feeling discouraged and out of heart. It's just so with a newspaper. I say that a paper does no good till it pays; it has no influence, its motives are always suspected, and you've got to make it pay by hook or by crook, before you can hope to—to—forward any good cause by it. That's what I say. Of course,” he added, in a large, smooth way, “I'm not going to contend that a newspaper should be run solely in the interest of the counting-room. Not at all! But I do contend that, when the counting-room protests against a certain course the editorial room is taking, it ought to be respectfully listened to. There are always two sides to every question. Suppose all the newspapers pitch in—as they sometimes do—and denounce a certain public enterprise: a projected scheme of railroad legislation, or a peculiar system of banking, or a co-operative mining interest, and the counting-room sends up word that the company advertises heavily with us; shall we go and join indiscriminately in that hue and cry, or shall we give our friends the benefit of the doubt?”
“Exactly!” Witherby was now so comfortable with Bartley that he stopped fiddling with the items on his desk and used his hands to emphasize his point. “Look at the churches! No church can do any good unless it's financially stable. As long as a church is in debt, it can't attract the best talent for the pulpit or the choir, and the members feel discouraged and disheartened. It's the same with a newspaper. I believe that a paper doesn’t do any good until it’s profitable; it has no influence, its motives are always questioned, and you have to make it profitable by any means necessary before you can hope to—uh—promote any good cause through it. That’s what I think. Of course,” he added smoothly, “I’m not saying that a newspaper should be operated solely for profit. Not at all! But I do believe that when the financial side raises concerns about a particular direction the editorial team is taking, it should be taken seriously. There are always two sides to every issue. Suppose all the newspapers gang up—like they sometimes do—and criticize a certain public project: maybe a proposed railroad law, a unique banking system, or a co-operative mining venture, and the finance department lets us know that the company spends a lot on ads with us; should we all just jump on that bandwagon, or should we give our allies the benefit of the doubt?”
“Give them the benefit of the doubt,” answered Bartley. “That's what I say.”
“Give them the benefit of the doubt,” Bartley said. “That's what I believe.”
“And so would any other practical man!” said Witherby. “And that's just where Mr. Clayton and I differed. Well, I needn't allude to him any more,” he added leniently. “What I wish to say is this, Mr. Hubbard. I am overworked, and I feel the need of some sort of relief. I know that I have started the Events in the right line at last,—the only line in which it can be made a great, useful, and respectable journal, efficient in every good cause,—and what I want now is some sort of assistant in the management who shall be in full sympathy with my own ideas. I don't want a mere slave,—a tool; but I do want an independent, right-minded man, who shall be with me for the success of the paper the whole time and every time, and shall not be continually setting up his will against mine on all sorts of doctrinaire points. That was the trouble with Mr. Clayton. I have nothing against Mr. Clayton personally; he is an excellent young man in very many respects; but he was all wrong about journalism, all wrong, Mr. Hubbard. I talked with him a great deal, and tried to make him see where his interest lay. He had been on the paper as a reporter from the start, and I wished very much to promote him to this position; which he could have made the best position in the country. The Events is an evening paper; there is no night-work; and the whole thing is already thoroughly systematized. Mr. Clayton had plenty of talent, and all he had to do was to step in under my direction and put his hand on the helm. But, no! I should have been glad to keep him in a subordinate capacity; but I had to let him go. He said that he would not report the conflagration of a peanut-stand for a paper conducted on the principles I had developed to him. Now, that is no way to talk. It's absurd.”
“And so would any other practical person!” said Witherby. “And that’s where Mr. Clayton and I parted ways. Well, I won’t bring him up again,” he added kindly. “What I want to say is this, Mr. Hubbard. I’m overworked and need some kind of relief. I know that I’ve finally put the Events on the right track—the only track that can make it a great, useful, and respectable journal, effective in every good cause—and what I need now is a management assistant who completely shares my ideas. I don’t want just a follower—a tool; I want an independent, principled person who will be with me for the success of the paper every time and won’t constantly oppose my views on every kind of doctrinaire issue. That was the problem with Mr. Clayton. I have nothing against Mr. Clayton personally; he’s a great young man in many ways; but he was completely off base about journalism, completely off base, Mr. Hubbard. I talked with him a lot and tried to help him see where his best interests lay. He had been with the paper as a reporter from the beginning, and I really wanted to promote him to this position, which he could have transformed into the best job in the country. The Events is an evening paper; there’s no night work, and everything is already well-organized. Mr. Clayton had plenty of talent; all he had to do was step in under my guidance and take the lead. But, no! I would have been happy to keep him in a lower role, but I had to let him go. He said he wouldn’t report the burning of a peanut stand for a paper run on the principles I had explained to him. Now, that’s no way to talk. It’s ridiculous.”
“Perfectly.” Bartley laughed his rich, caressing laugh, in which there was the insinuation of all worldly-wise contempt for Clayton and all worldly-wise sympathy with Witherby. It made Witherby feel good,—better perhaps than he had felt at any time since his talk with Clayton.
“Absolutely.” Bartley laughed his deep, soothing laugh, which hinted at all the worldly-wise disdain for Clayton and all the worldly-wise understanding for Witherby. It made Witherby feel good—maybe better than he had felt at any point since his conversation with Clayton.
“Well, now, what do you say, Mr. Hubbard? Can't we make some arrangement with you?” he asked, with a burst of frankness.
“Well, now, what do you think, Mr. Hubbard? Can we come to some kind of arrangement with you?” he asked, with a burst of honesty.
“I guess you can,” said Bartley. The fact that Witherby needed him was so plain that he did not care to practise any finesse about the matter.
“I guess you can,” Bartley said. It was clear that Witherby needed him, so he didn’t bother trying to be subtle about it.
“What are your present engagements?”
“What are you working on?”
“I haven't any.”
"I don't have any."
“Then you can take hold at once?”
“Then you can grab hold right away?”
“Yes.”
"Yeah."
“That's good!” Witherby now entered at large into the nature of the position which he offered Bartley. They talked a long time, and in becoming better acquainted with each other's views, as they called them, they became better friends. Bartley began to respect Witherby's business ideas, and Witherby in recognizing all the admirable qualities of this clear-sighted and level-headed young man began to feel that he had secretly liked him from the first, and had only waited a suitable occasion to unmask his affection. It was arranged that Bartley should come on as Witherby's assistant, and should do whatever he was asked to do in the management of the paper; he was to write on topics as they occurred to him, or as they were suggested to him. “I don't say whether this will lead to anything more, Mr. Hubbard, or not; but I do say that you will be in the direct line of promotion.”
“That's great!” Witherby now discussed in depth the role he was offering Bartley. They talked for a long time, and as they got to know each other's perspectives, they became better friends. Bartley started to respect Witherby's business ideas, and Witherby, recognizing all the admirable qualities of this sharp and level-headed young man, felt that he had secretly liked him from the beginning and had only been waiting for the right moment to show his appreciation. They agreed that Bartley would join Witherby as his assistant and would do whatever was needed to help manage the paper; he would write on topics that came to mind or were suggested to him. “I can't say if this will lead to anything more, Mr. Hubbard, but I can assure you that you'll be on a clear path to advancement.”
“Yes, I understand that,” said Bartley.
“Yes, I get that,” said Bartley.
“And now as to terms,” continued Witherby, a little tremulously.
“And now about the terms,” continued Witherby, a bit nervously.
“And now as to terms,” repeated Bartley to himself; but he said nothing aloud. He felt that Witherby had cut out a great deal of work for him, and work of a kind that he could not easily find another man both willing and able to do. He resolved that he would have all that his service was worth.
“And now about the terms,” Bartley repeated to himself, but he didn’t say anything out loud. He realized that Witherby had assigned him a lot of work, and it was the kind of work that he couldn’t easily find someone else willing and capable to do. He decided that he would make sure to get everything his services were worth.
“What should you think of twenty dollars a week?” asked Witherby.
“What do you think about twenty dollars a week?” asked Witherby.
“I shouldn't think it was enough,” said Bartley, amazed at his own audacity, but enjoying it, and thinking how he had left Marcia with the intention of offering himself to Mr. Atherton as a clerk for ten dollars a week. “There is a great deal of labor in what you propose, and you command my whole time. You would not like to have me do any work outside of the Events.”
“I don't think that's enough,” Bartley said, surprised at his own boldness, but enjoying it. He recalled how he had left Marcia with the plan to offer himself to Mr. Atherton as a clerk for ten dollars a week. “There’s a lot of work involved in what you’re suggesting, and you expect my full attention. You wouldn’t want me doing any work outside of the Events.”
“No,” Witherby assented. “Would twenty-five be nearer the mark?” he inquired soberly.
“No,” Witherby agreed. “Would twenty-five be closer to the right number?” he asked seriously.
“It would be nearer, certainly,” said Bartley. “But I guess you had better make it thirty.” He kept a quiet face, but his heart throbbed.
“It would be closer, for sure,” said Bartley. “But I think you should make it thirty.” He maintained a calm expression, but his heart raced.
“Well, say thirty, then,” replied Witherby so promptly that Bartley perceived with a pang that he might as easily have got forty from him. But it was now too late, and a salary of fifteen hundred a year passed the wildest hopes he had cherished half an hour before.
“Well, let’s say thirty, then,” replied Witherby so quickly that Bartley felt a sting, realizing he could have just as easily gotten forty from him. But it was too late now, and a salary of fifteen hundred a year exceeded the wildest dreams he had entertained just half an hour earlier.
“All right,” he said quietly. “I suppose you want me to take hold at once?”
“All right,” he said quietly. “I guess you want me to get started right away?”
“Yes, on Monday. Oh, by the way,” said Witherby, “there is one little piece of outside work which I should like you to finish up for us; and we'll agree upon something extra for it, if you wish. I mean our Solid Men series. I don't know whether you've noticed the series in the Events?”
“Yes, on Monday. Oh, by the way,” said Witherby, “there's one small task outside that I'd like you to wrap up for us; and we can figure out some extra payment for it if you'd like. I’m talking about our Solid Men series. I'm not sure if you’ve seen the series in the Events?”
“Yes,” said Bartley, “I have.”
“Yes,” Bartley said, “I have.”
“Well, then, you know what they are. They consist of interviews—guarded and inoffensive as respects the sanctity of private life—with our leading manufacturers and merchant princes at their places of business and their residences, and include a description of these, and some account of the lives of the different subjects.”
“Well, then, you know what they are. They consist of interviews—cautious and respectful toward the privacy of individuals—with our top manufacturers and business leaders at their workplaces and homes, and include a description of these locations, along with some details about the lives of the various subjects.”
“Yes, I have seen them,” said Bartley. “I've noticed the general plan.”
“Yes, I’ve seen them,” Bartley said. “I’ve noticed the overall plan.”
“You know that Mr. Clayton has been doing them. He made them a popular feature. The parties themselves were very much pleased with them.”
“You know that Mr. Clayton has been doing them. He made them a popular feature. The parties involved were really happy with them.”
“Oh, people are always tickled to be interviewed,” said Bartley. “I know they put on airs about it, and go round complaining to each other about the violation of confidence, and so on; but they all like it. You know I reported that Indigent Surf-Bathing entertainment in June for the Chronicle-Abstract. I knew the lady who got it up, and I interviewed her after the entertainment.”
“Oh, people are always excited to be interviewed,” Bartley said. “I know they act like it's a big deal and go around complaining to each other about the breach of trust and all that, but they really enjoy it. You know I covered that Indigent Surf-Bathing event in June for the Chronicle-Abstract. I knew the woman who organized it, and I interviewed her after the event.”
“Miss Kingsbury?”
“Ms. Kingsbury?”
“Yes.” Witherby made an inarticulate murmur of respect for Bartley in his throat, and involuntarily changed toward him, but not so subtly that Bartley's finer instinct did not take note of the change. “She was a fresh subject, and she told me everything. Of course I printed it all. She was awfully shocked,—or pretended to be,—and wrote me a very O-dear-how-could-you note about it. But I went round to the office the next day, and I found that nearly every lady mentioned in the interview had ordered half a dozen copies of that issue sent to her seaside address, and the office had been full of Beacon Street swells all the morning buying Chronicle-Abstracts,—'the one with the report of the Concert in it.'” These low views of high society, coupled with an apparent familiarity with it, modified Witherby more and more. He began to see that he had got a prize. “The way to do with such fellows as your Solid Men,” continued Bartley, “is to submit a proof to 'em. They never know exactly what to do about it, and so you print the interview with their approval, and make 'em particeps criminis. I'll finish up the series for you, and I won't make any very heavy extra charge.”
“Yes.” Witherby let out a muffled sound of respect for Bartley and instinctively changed his demeanor towards him, but not so subtly that Bartley didn’t notice the shift. “She was an interesting subject, and she told me everything. Of course, I printed it all. She was really shocked—or at least pretended to be—and sent me a dramatic note about it. But I went to the office the next day and found that nearly every woman mentioned in the interview had ordered half a dozen copies of that issue sent to her beach house, and the office had been packed with upscale folks from Beacon Street all morning buying Chronicle-Abstracts—‘the one with the Concert report in it.’” These low views of high society, along with a clear familiarity with it, changed Witherby more and more. He started to realize he had struck gold. “The way to deal with guys like your Solid Men,” Bartley continued, “is to show them a proof. They never really know what to do about it, so you print the interview with their approval and make them part of the problem. I’ll wrap up the series for you, and I won’t charge you much extra.”
“I should wish to pay you whatever the work was worth,” said Witherby, not to be outdone in nobleness.
“I’d like to pay you whatever the work was worth,” said Witherby, wanting to match the generosity.
“All right; we sha'n't quarrel about that, at any rate.”
“All right; we won't argue about that, at least.”
Bartley was getting toward the door, for he was eager to be gone now to Marcia, but Witherby followed him up as if willing to detain him. “My wife,” he said, “knows Miss Kingsbury. They have been on the same charities together.”
Bartley was heading for the door because he was eager to get to Marcia, but Witherby followed him as if he wanted to keep him there. “My wife,” he said, “knows Miss Kingsbury. They’ve worked on the same charities together.”
“I met her a good while ago, when I was visiting a chum of mine at his father's house here. I didn't suppose she'd know me; but she did at once, and began to ask me if I was at the Hallecks'—as if I had never gone away.”
“I met her a long time ago when I was visiting a friend of mine at his dad's house here. I didn’t think she would recognize me, but she did right away and started asking me if I was at the Hallecks'—as if I had never left.”
“Mr. Ezra B. Halleck?” inquired Witherby reverently. “Leather trade?”
“Mr. Ezra B. Halleck?” Witherby asked respectfully. “Leather business?”
“Yes,” said Bartley. “I believe his first name was Ezra. Ben Halleck was my friend. Do you know the family?” asked Bartley.
“Yes,” said Bartley. “I think his first name was Ezra. Ben Halleck was my friend. Do you know the family?” asked Bartley.
“Yes, we have met them—in society. I hope you're pleasantly situated where you are, Mr. Hubbard? Should be glad to have you call at the house.”
“Yes, we’ve met them—in society. I hope you’re doing well where you are, Mr. Hubbard? I’d be happy to have you come by the house.”
“Thank you,” said Bartley, “my wife will be glad to have Mrs. Witherby call.”
“Thanks,” said Bartley, “my wife will be happy to have Mrs. Witherby call.”
“Oh!” cried Witherby. “I didn't know you were married! That's good! There's nothing like marriage, Mr. Hubbard, to keep a man going in the right direction. But you've begun pretty young.”
“Oh!” exclaimed Witherby. “I didn't know you were married! That's great! There's nothing like marriage, Mr. Hubbard, to keep a guy on the right track. But you're starting quite young.”
“Nothing like taking a thing in time,” answered Bartley. “But I haven't been married a great while; and I'm not so young as I look. Well, good afternoon, Mr. Witherby.”
“There's nothing like handling things as they come,” Bartley replied. “But I haven't been married for long, and I'm not as young as I seem. Well, good afternoon, Mr. Witherby.”
“What did you say was your address?” asked Witherby, taking out his note-book. “My wife will certainly call. She's down at Nantasket now, but she'll be up the first part of September, and then she'll call. Good afternoon.”
What did you say your address was?” Witherby asked, pulling out his notebook. “My wife will definitely be in touch. She's at Nantasket right now, but she'll be back in early September, and then she'll reach out. Good afternoon.”
They shook hands at last, and Bartley ran home to Marcia. He burst into the room with a glowing face. “Well, Marcia,” he shouted, “I've got my basis!”
They finally shook hands, and Bartley raced home to Marcia. He burst into the room with a beaming face. “Well, Marcia,” he exclaimed, “I’ve got my foundation!”
“Hush! No! Don't be so loud! You haven't!” she answered, springing to her feet. “I don't believe it! How hot you are!”
“Hush! No! Don’t be so loud! You haven’t!” she replied, jumping to her feet. “I can’t believe it! You’re so hot!”
“I've been running—almost all the way from the Events office. I've got a place on the Events,—assistant managing-editor,—thirty dollars a week,” he panted.
“I've been running—almost all the way from the Events office. I've got a job as the assistant managing editor for Events, making thirty dollars a week,” he panted.
“I knew you would succeed yet,—I knew you would, if I could only have a little patience. I've been scolding myself ever since you went. I thought you were going to do something desperate, and I had driven you to it. But Bartley, Bartley! It can't be true, is it? Here, here! Do take this fan. Or no, I'll fan you, if you'll let me sit on your knee! O poor thing, how hot you are! But I thought you wouldn't white for the Events; I thought you hated that old Witherby, who acted so ugly to you when you first came.”
“I knew you would succeed, I really did—if only I could have been a bit more patient. I've been scolding myself ever since you left. I thought you were going to do something drastic, and that I had pushed you to it. But Bartley, Bartley! It can't be true, can it? Here, take this fan. Or wait, I’ll fan you if you let me sit on your lap! Oh, you poor thing, you're so hot! But I thought you wouldn’t wait for the Events; I thought you hated that old Witherby, who treated you so badly when you first arrived.”
“Oh, Witherby is a pretty good old fellow,” said Bartley, who had begun to get his breath again. He gave her a full history of the affair, and they rejoiced together over it, and were as happy as if Bartley had been celebrating a high and honorable good fortune. She was too ignorant to feel the disgrace, if there were any, in the compact which Bartley had closed, and he had no principles, no traditions, by which to perceive it. To them it meant unlimited prosperity; it meant provision for the future, which was to bring a new responsibility and a new care.
“Oh, Witherby is a pretty good guy,” said Bartley, who had started to catch his breath again. He gave her a full rundown of the situation, and they celebrated it together, feeling as happy as if Bartley had been enjoying a significant and honorable success. She was too unaware to sense any shame, if there was any, in the agreement Bartley had made, and he had no values or traditions to recognize it. To them, it represented endless prosperity; it meant preparing for the future, which would bring new responsibilities and new worries.
“We will take the parlor with the alcove, now,” said Bartley. “Don't excite yourself,” he added, with tender warning.
“We'll take the parlor with the alcove now,” Bartley said. “Don't get too worked up,” he added gently.
“No, no,” she said, pillowing her head on his shoulder, and shedding peaceful tears.
“No, no,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder and shedding calm tears.
“It doesn't seem as if we should ever quarrel again, does it?”
“It doesn’t seem like we should ever fight again, does it?”
“No, no! We never shall,” she murmured. “It has always come from my worrying you about the law, and I shall never do that any more. If you like journalism better, I shall not urge you any more to leave it, now you've got your basis.”
“No, no! We never will,” she whispered. “It’s always been because I worried you about the law, and I won’t do that anymore. If you prefer journalism, I won’t push you to leave it now that you’ve established your foundation.”
“But I'm going on with the law, now, for that very reason. I shall read law all my leisure time. I feel independent, and I shall not be anxious about the time I give, because I shall know that I can afford it.”
“But I'm pursuing the law now for that exact reason. I plan to study law in all my free time. I feel free, and I won’t worry about how much time I invest, because I know I can handle it.”
“Well, only you mustn't overdo.” She put her lips against his cheek. “You're more to me than anything you can do for me.”
“Well, just don't overdo it.” She pressed her lips against his cheek. “You're more to me than anything you could ever do for me.”
“Oh, Marcia!”
“Oh, Marcia!”
XIX.
Now that Bartley had got his basis and had no favors to ask of any one, he was curious to see his friend Halleck again; but when, in the course of the Solid Men Series, he went to interview A Nestor of the Leather Interest, as he meant to call the elder Halleck, he resolved to let him make all the advances. On a legitimate business errand it should not matter to him whether Mr. Halleck welcomed him or not. The old man did not wait for Bartley to explain why he came; he was so simply glad to see him that Bartley felt a little ashamed to confess that he had been eight months in Boston without making himself known. He answered all the personal questions with which Mr. Halleck plied him; and in his turn he inquired after his college friend.
Now that Bartley had established himself and didn’t need to ask anyone for favors, he was eager to see his friend Halleck again. But when, during the Solid Men Series, he went to interview a veteran in the Leather Industry, as he intended to call the older Halleck, he decided to let him take the lead. On a legitimate business visit, it shouldn’t matter to him whether Mr. Halleck wanted to greet him or not. The older man didn’t wait for Bartley to explain why he was there; he was simply happy to see him, which made Bartley feel a bit guilty for not reaching out during the eight months he had been in Boston. He answered all the personal questions that Mr. Halleck asked him, and in return, he asked about his college friend.
“Ben is in Europe,” said his father. “He has been there all summer; but we expect him home about the middle of September. He's been a good while settling down,” continued the old man, with an unconscious sigh. “He talked of the law at first, and then he went into business with me; but he didn't seem to find his calling in it; and now he's taken up the law again. He's been in the Law School at Cambridge, and he's going back there for a year or two longer. I thought you used to talk of the law yourself when you were with us, Mr. Hubbard.”
“Ben is in Europe,” his father said. “He’s been there all summer, but we expect him back around mid-September. He’s spent quite some time figuring things out,” the old man continued with a sigh. “He initially showed interest in law, then went into business with me, but it didn’t seem like the right fit for him. Now he's back to studying law. He’s been at the Law School in Cambridge and plans to stay there for another year or two. I remember you used to talk about law when you were with us, Mr. Hubbard.”
“Yes, I did,” Bartley assented. “And I haven't given up the notion yet. I've read a good deal of law already; but when I came up to Boston, I had to go into newspaper work till I could see my way out of the woods.”
“Yes, I did,” Bartley agreed. “And I still haven’t abandoned the idea. I’ve already studied quite a bit of law; but when I got to Boston, I had to take a job in the newspaper business until I could figure things out.”
“Well,” said Mr. Halleck, “that's right. And you say you like the arrangement you've made with Mr. Witherby?”
“Well,” said Mr. Halleck, “that's correct. And you say you like the deal you've worked out with Mr. Witherby?”
“It's ideal—for me,” answered Bartley.
"That's perfect for me," Bartley said.
“Well, that's good,” said the old man. “And you've come to interview me. Well, that's all right. I'm not much used to being in print, but I shall be glad to tell you all I know about leather.”
“Well, that’s good,” said the old man. “And you’ve come to interview me. Well, that’s fine. I'm not really used to being in the spotlight, but I’ll be happy to share everything I know about leather.”
“You may depend upon my not saying anything that will be disagreeable to you, Mr. Halleck,” said Bartley, touched by the old man's trusting friendliness. When his inquisition ended, he slipped his notebook back into his pocket, and said with a smile, “We usually say something about the victim's private residence, but I guess I'll spare you that, Mr. Halleck.”
“You can count on me not to say anything that would upset you, Mr. Halleck,” Bartley said, moved by the old man's sincere friendliness. When the questioning was over, he put his notebook back in his pocket and smiled, saying, “We usually mention something about the victim's home, but I suppose I’ll let that go, Mr. Halleck.”
“Why, we live in the old place, and I don't suppose there is much to say. We are plain people, and we don't like to change. When I built there thirty years ago, Rumford Street was one of the most desirable streets in Boston. There was no Back Bay, then, you know, and we thought we were doing something very fashionable. But fashion has drifted away, and left us high and dry enough on Rumford Street; though we don't mind it. We keep the old house and the old garden pretty much as you saw them. You can say whatever you think best. There's a good deal of talk about the intrusiveness of the newspapers; all I know is that they've never intruded upon me. We shall not be afraid that you will abuse our house, Mr. Hubbard, because we expect you to come there again. When shall it be? Mrs. Halleck and I have been at home all summer; we find it the most comfortable place; and we shall be very glad if you'll drop in any evening and take tea with us. We keep the old hours; we've never taken kindly to the late dinners. The girls are off at the mountains, and you'd see nobody but Mrs. Halleck. Come this evening!” cried the old man, with mounting cordiality.
“Why, we still live in the same old place, and I don't think there's much to say. We're just ordinary folks, and we prefer not to change. When I built here thirty years ago, Rumford Street was one of the most sought-after streets in Boston. There was no Back Bay back then, and we thought we were being very trendy. But trends have moved on, leaving us high and dry on Rumford Street; still, we don’t mind. We keep the old house and the old garden pretty much as you remember them. Feel free to say whatever you think is best. There's a lot of chatter about how intrusive newspapers can be; all I know is they’ve never bothered me. We won't worry that you'll mistreat our home, Mr. Hubbard, because we’re looking forward to having you over again. When will that be? Mrs. Halleck and I have been home all summer; we find it the coziest place, and we’d be very happy if you came by any evening for tea. We stick to the old traditions; we've never really gotten used to late dinners. The girls are away in the mountains, so you'd only see Mrs. Halleck. Come by this evening!” the old man exclaimed, growing more enthusiastic.
His warmth as he put his hand on Bartley's shoulder made the young man blush again for the reserve with which he had been treating his own affairs. He stammered out, hoping that the other would see the relevancy of the statement, “Why, the fact is, Mr. Halleck, I—I'm married.”
His warmth when he placed his hand on Bartley's shoulder made the young man blush again for the way he had been handling his own business. He stammered, hoping the other would understand the importance of what he was saying, “Well, the truth is, Mr. Halleck, I—I'm married.”
“Married?” said Mr. Halleck. “Why didn't you tell me before? Of course we want Mrs. Hubbard, too. Where are you living? We won't stand upon ceremony among old friends. Mrs. Halleck will come with the carriage and fetch Mrs. Hubbard, and your wife must take that for a call. Why, you don't know how glad we shall be to have you both! I wish Ben was married. You'll come?”
“Married?” Mr. Halleck asked. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Of course we want Mrs. Hubbard to join us too. Where are you living? We won’t stand on formalities with old friends. Mrs. Halleck will come by with the car to pick up Mrs. Hubbard, and your wife should come along for a visit. Honestly, you have no idea how happy we’ll be to have both of you! I wish Ben was married. You will come, right?”
“Of course we will,” said Bartley. “But you mustn't let Mrs. Halleck send for us; we can walk perfectly well.”
“Of course we will,” said Bartley. “But you shouldn’t let Mrs. Halleck call for us; we can walk just fine.”
“You can walk if you want, but Mrs. Hubbard shall ride,” said the old man.
“You can walk if you want, but Mrs. Hubbard will ride,” said the old man.
When Bartley reported this to Marcia, “Bartley!” she cried. “In her carriage? I'm afraid!”
When Bartley told Marcia about this, “Bartley!” she exclaimed. “In her carriage? I'm scared!”
“Nonsense! She'll be a great deal more afraid than you are. She's the bashfulest old lady you ever saw. All that I hope is that you won't overpower her.”
“Nonsense! She'll be a lot more afraid than you are. She's the shyest old lady you’ve ever seen. All I hope is that you won't intimidate her.”
“Bartley, hush! Shall I wear my silk, or—”
“Bartley, be quiet! Should I wear my silk, or—”
“Oh, wear the silk, by all means. Crush them at a blow!”
“Oh, definitely wear the silk. Take them down in one go!”
Rumford Street is one of those old-fashioned thoroughfares at the West End of Boston, which are now almost wholly abandoned to boarding-houses of the poorer class. Yet they are charming streets, quiet, clean, and respectable, and worthy still to be the homes, as they once were, of solid citizens. The red brick houses, with their swell fronts, looking in perspective like a succession of round towers, are reached by broad granite steps, and their doors are deeply sunken within the wagon-roofs of white-painted Roman arches. Over the door there is sometimes the bow of a fine transom, and the parlor windows on the first floor of the swell front have the same azure gleam as those of the beautiful old houses which front the Common on Beacon Street.
Rumford Street is one of those old-fashioned streets at the West End of Boston that are now mostly taken over by budget boarding houses. However, they are still charming streets—quiet, clean, and respectable—and they deserve to be homes again, as they once were, for upstanding citizens. The red brick houses, with their curved fronts, appear like a series of round towers from a distance and can be accessed by wide granite steps. Their doors are set deep within the white-painted Roman arches of the overhangs. Sometimes, there's a nice transom arch over the door, and the parlor windows on the first floor of the curved front have the same bright blue hue as those of the beautiful old houses along the Common on Beacon Street.
When her husband bought his lot there, Mrs. Halleck could hardly believe that a house on Rumford Street was not too fine for her. They had come to the city simple and good young village people, and simple and good they had remained, through the advancing years which had so wonderfully—Mrs. Halleck hoped, with a trembling heart, not wickedly—prospered them. They were of faithful stock, and they had been true to their traditions in every way. One of these was constancy to the orthodox religious belief in which their young hearts had united, and which had blessed all their life; though their charity now abounded perhaps more than their faith. They still believed that for themselves there was no spiritual safety except in their church; but since their younger children had left it they were forced tacitly to own that this might not be so in all cases. Their last endeavor for the church in Ben's case was to send him to the college where he and Bartley met; and this was such a failure on the main point, that it left them remorsefully indulgent. He had submitted, and had foregone his boyish dreams of Harvard, where all his mates were going; but the sacrifice seemed to have put him at odds with life. The years which had proved the old people mistaken would not come back upon their recognition of their error. He returned to the associations from which they had exiled him too much estranged to resume them, and they saw, with the unavailing regrets which visit fathers and mothers in such cases, that the young know their own world better than their elders can know it, and have a right to be in it and of it, superior to any theory of their advantage which their elders can form. Ben was not the fellow to complain; in fact, after he came home from college, he was allowed to shape his life according to his own rather fitful liking. His father was glad now to content him in anything he could, it was so very little that Ben asked. If he had suffered it, perhaps his family would have spoiled him.
When her husband bought their lot there, Mrs. Halleck could hardly believe that a house on Rumford Street was within reach for her. They had come to the city as simple, good young people from the village, and simple and good they had remained, even as the years went by and brought them what Mrs. Halleck hoped, with a trembling heart, was not wicked prosperity. They came from a reliable background and had stayed true to their traditions in every way. One of these traditions was sticking to the orthodox religious beliefs that united their young hearts and blessed their lives; although, it seemed their charity now outshone their faith. They still believed that their church was the only safe spiritual haven for them; however, since their younger children had distanced themselves from it, they had to reluctantly accept that this might not hold true for everyone. Their last attempt for the church regarding Ben was sending him to the college where he and Bartley met, but this was such a disappointment that it left them feeling guiltily indulgent. He complied and gave up his childhood dreams of Harvard, which all his friends were attending, but that sacrifice seemed to set him against life. The years that revealed their parents' mistakes would not change the reality of their error. He returned to the connections from which they had tried to distance him, now too estranged to reengage, and they realized, with the helpless regrets that visit parents in such situations, that young people understand their own world better than their elders can and have every right to be part of it, regardless of any theories their parents might have about what’s best for them. Ben wasn’t one to complain; in fact, after coming home from college, he was allowed to shape his life according to his own rather inconsistent preferences. His father was now happy to accommodate him in any way he could, as Ben asked for so little. If he had shown any signs of suffering, perhaps his family would have spoiled him.
The Halleck girls went early in July to the Profile House, where they had spent their summers for many years; but the old people preferred to stay at home, and only left their large, comfortable house for short absences. Their ways of life had been fixed in other times, and Mrs. Halleck liked better than mountain or sea the high-walled garden that stretched back of their house to the next street. They had bought through to this street when they built, but they had never sold the lot that fronted on it. They laid it out in box-bordered beds, and there were clumps of hollyhocks, sunflowers, lilies, and phlox, in different corners; grapes covered the trellised walls; there were some pear-trees that bore blossoms, and sometimes ripened their fruit beside the walk. Mrs. Halleck used to work in the garden; her husband seldom descended into it, but he liked to sit on the iron-railed balcony overlooking it from the back parlor.
The Halleck girls went to the Profile House early in July, where they had spent their summers for many years. However, the older folks preferred to stay at home, only leaving their large, comfortable house for short trips. Their lifestyles were set in the past, and Mrs. Halleck preferred the high-walled garden behind their house, stretching to the next street, over the mountain or the sea. They had purchased the lot that led to this street when they built the house, but they never sold the plot that faced it. They had organized it into box-bordered beds, with clusters of hollyhocks, sunflowers, lilies, and phlox in various corners; grapes climbed the trellised walls, and there were a few pear trees that would blossom and sometimes bear fruit along the pathway. Mrs. Halleck used to work in the garden; her husband rarely went into it, but he enjoyed sitting on the iron-railed balcony that overlooked it from the back parlor.
As for the interior of the house, it had been furnished, once for all, in the worst style of that most tasteless period of household art, which prevailed from 1840 to 1870; and it would be impossible to say which were most hideous, the carpets or the chandeliers, the curtains or the chairs and sofas; crude colors, lumpish and meaningless forms, abounded in a rich and horrible discord. The old people thought it all beautiful, and those daughters who had come into the new house as little girls revered it; but Ben and his youngest sister, who had been born in the house, used the right of children of their parents' declining years to laugh at it. Yet they laughed with a sort of filial tenderness.
As for the inside of the house, it had been furnished once and for all in the worst style of that really tacky period of home decor that lasted from 1840 to 1870. It’s impossible to say which was more hideous—the carpets or the chandeliers, the curtains or the chairs and sofas; there were crude colors and clunky, pointless shapes everywhere in a rich and terrible mix. The older folks thought it all looked beautiful, and the daughters who had moved into the new house as little girls admired it; but Ben and his youngest sister, who had been born in the house, took advantage of being the kids of their aging parents to laugh at it. Still, they laughed with a kind of loving fondness.
“I suppose you know how frightful you have everything about you, Olive,” said Clara Kingsbury, one day after the Eastlake movement began, as she took a comprehensive survey of the Halleck drawing-room through her pince-nez.
“I guess you realize how terrifying everything around you is, Olive,” said Clara Kingsbury one day after the Eastlake movement started, as she took a thorough look around the Halleck drawing room through her pince-nez.
“Certainly,” answered the youngest Miss Halleck. “It's a perfect chamber of horrors. But I like it, because everything's so exquisitely in keeping.”
“Of course,” replied the youngest Miss Halleck. “It's a total nightmare. But I like it because everything matches so perfectly.”
“Really, I feel as if I had seen it all for the first time,” said Miss Kingsbury. “I don't believe I ever realized it before.”
“Honestly, I feel like I’m seeing it all for the first time,” said Miss Kingsbury. “I don’t think I ever understood it before.”
She and Olive Halleck were great friends, though Clara was fashionable and Olive was not.
She and Olive Halleck were great friends, even though Clara was trendy and Olive wasn't.
“It would all have been different,” Ben used to say, in whimsical sarcasm of what he had once believed, “if I had gone to Harvard. Then the fellows in my class would have come to the house with me, and we should have got into the right set naturally. Now, we're outside of everything, and it makes me mad, because we've got money enough to be inside, and there's nothing to prevent it. Of course, I'm not going to say that leather is quite as blameless as cotton socially, but taken in the wholesale form it isn't so very malodorous, and it's quite as good as other things that are accepted.”
“It would all have been different,” Ben often joked with a hint of sarcasm about his past beliefs, “if I had gone to Harvard. Then the guys in my class would have come to my house with me, and we would have naturally fit in with the right crowd. Now, we're on the outside looking in, and it drives me crazy because we have enough money to be part of it, and there's nothing stopping us. Of course, I won't say that leather is as socially acceptable as cotton, but in bulk, it's not that bad, and it's just as good as other things that people do accept.”
“It's not the leather, Ben,” answered Olive, “and it's not your not going to Harvard altogether, though that has something to do with it. The trouble's in me. I was at school with all those girls Clara goes with, and I could have been in that set if I'd wanted; but I didn't really want to. I saw, at a very tender age, that it was going to be more trouble than it was worth, and I just quietly kept out of it. Of course, I couldn't have gone to Papanti's without a fuss, but mother would have let me go if I had made the fuss; and I could be hand and glove with those girls now, if I tried. They come here whenever I ask them; and when I meet them on charities, I'm awfully popular. No, if I'm not fashionable, it's my own fault. But what difference does it make to you, Ben? You don't want to marry any of those girls as long as your heart's set on that unknown charmer of yours.” Ben had once seen his charmer in the street of a little Down East town, where he met her walking with some other boarding-school girls; in a freak with his fellow-students, he had bribed the village photographer to let him have the picture of the young lady, which he had sent home to Olive, marked, “My Lost Love.”
“It's not about the leather, Ben,” Olive said. “And it's not that you're not going to Harvard; that plays a part, but the real issue is with me. I went to school with all those girls Clara hangs out with, and I could have fit in with them if I wanted to, but I didn't really have the desire. I realized at a young age that it would be more trouble than it was worth, so I just stayed away from it. Sure, I couldn't have gone to Papanti's without causing a scene, but my mom would have let me go if I had made a fuss; and I could be best friends with those girls now if I tried. They come over whenever I invite them, and when I run into them at charity events, I'm super popular. So, if I'm not part of the in-crowd, it's my own choice. But why does it matter to you, Ben? You don't want to marry any of those girls as long as you're hung up on that mystery girl of yours.” Ben had once spotted his mystery girl walking with some other boarding-school girls in a small town up North. In a playful bet with his classmates, he had paid the village photographer to give him a picture of her, which he had sent to Olive labeled, “My Lost Love.”
“No, I don't want to marry anybody,” said Ben. “But I hate to live in a town where I'm not first chop in everything.”
“No, I don't want to marry anyone,” Ben said. “But I can't stand living in a town where I'm not the best at everything.”
“Pshaw!” cried his sister, “I guess it doesn't trouble you much.”
“Pshaw!” his sister exclaimed, “I bet it doesn't bother you much.”
“Well, I don't know that it does,” he admitted.
“Well, I’m not sure it does,” he admitted.
Mrs. Halleck's black coachman drove her to Mrs. Nash's door on Canary Place, where she alighted and rang with as great perturbation as if it had been a palace, and these poor young people to whom she was going to be kind were princes. It was sufficient that they were strangers; but Marcia's anxiety, evident even to meekness like Mrs. Halleck's, restored her somewhat to her self-possession; and the thought that Bartley, in spite of his personal splendor, was a friend of Ben's, was a help, and she got home with her guests without any great chasms in the conversation, though she never ceased to twist the window-tassel in her embarrassment.
Mrs. Halleck's black coachman drove her to Mrs. Nash's door on Canary Place, where she got out and rang the bell with as much nervousness as if it were a palace, and these young people she was about to be nice to were royalty. It was enough that they were strangers; but Marcia's obvious anxiety, even to someone as gentle as Mrs. Halleck, helped her regain some of her composure; and knowing that Bartley, despite his personal flair, was a friend of Ben's, made it easier, and she arrived home with her guests without any major awkward silences in the conversation, though she kept twisting the window tassel in her embarrassment.
Mr. Halleck came to her rescue at her own door, and let them in. He shook hands with Bartley again, and viewed Marcia with a fatherly friendliness that took away half her awe of the ugly magnificence of the interior. But still she admired that Bartley could be so much at his ease. He pointed to a stick at the foot of the hat-rack, and said, “How much that looks like Halleck!” which made the old man laugh, and clap him on the shoulder, and cry: “So it does! so it does! Recognized it, did you? Well, we shall soon have him with us again, now. Seems a long time to us since he went.”
Mr. Halleck came to her rescue at her front door and let them in. He shook hands with Bartley again and looked at Marcia with a fatherly friendliness that eased some of her awe of the ugly magnificence of the interior. Still, she admired how at ease Bartley was. He pointed to a cane at the base of the hat rack and said, “That really looks like Halleck!” which made the old man laugh, pat him on the shoulder, and exclaim: “It really does! It really does! You recognized it, huh? Well, we’ll have him back with us soon. Seems like a long time since he left.”
“Still limps a little?” asked Bartley.
“Still limping a bit?” asked Bartley.
“Yes, I guess he'll never quite get over that.”
“Yes, I guess he’ll never really get past that.”
“I don't believe I should like him to,” said Bartley. “He wouldn't seem natural without a cane in his hand, or hanging by the crook over his left elbow, while he stood and talked.”
“I don't think I would like him to,” said Bartley. “He wouldn’t look right without a cane in his hand, or resting in the crook of his left elbow while he stood and talked.”
The old man clapped Bartley on the shoulder again, and laughed again at the image suggested. “That's so! that's so! You're right, I guess!”
The old man patted Bartley on the shoulder again and chuckled once more at the idea it brought to mind. “That's true! That's true! I suppose you’re right!”
As soon as Marcia could lay off her things in the gorgeous chamber to which Mrs. Halleck had shown her, they went out to tea in the dining-room overlooking the garden.
As soon as Marcia could drop her things in the beautiful room that Mrs. Halleck had shown her, they went out for tea in the dining room overlooking the garden.
“Seems natural, don't it?” asked the old man, as Bartley turned to one of the windows.
“Seems natural, doesn't it?” asked the old man, as Bartley turned to one of the windows.
“Not changed a bit, except that I was here in winter, and I hadn't a chance to see how pretty your garden was.”
“Not a bit changed, except that I was here in winter, and I didn't get a chance to see how beautiful your garden is.”
“It is pretty, isn't it?” said the old man. “Mother—Mrs. Halleck, I mean—looks after it. She keeps it about right. Here's Cyrus!” he said, as the serving-man came into the room with something from the kitchen in his hands. “You remember Cyrus, I guess, Mr. Hubbard?”
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” said the old man. “Mother—Mrs. Halleck, I mean—takes care of it. She keeps it just right. Here’s Cyrus!” he said, as the servant came into the room with something from the kitchen in his hands. “You remember Cyrus, right, Mr. Hubbard?”
“Oh, yes!” said Bartley, and when Cyrus had set down his dish, Bartley shook hands with the New Hampshire exemplar of freedom and equality; he was no longer so young as to wish to mark a social difference between himself and the inside-man who had served Mr. Halleck with unimpaired self-respect for twenty-five years.
“Oh, yes!” said Bartley, and when Cyrus put down his dish, Bartley shook hands with the New Hampshire symbol of freedom and equality; he was no longer young enough to want to create a social gap between himself and the insider who had served Mr. Halleck with unwavering self-respect for twenty-five years.
There was a vacant place at table, and Mr. Halleck said he hoped it would be taken by a friend of theirs. He explained that the possible guest was his lawyer, whose office Ben was going into after he left the Law School; and presently Mr. Atherton came. Bartley was prepared to be introduced anew, but he was flattered and the Hallecks were pleased to find that he and Mr. Atherton were already acquainted; the latter was so friendly, that Bartley was confirmed in his belief that you could not make an interview too strong, for he had celebrated Mr. Atherton among the other people present at the Indigent Surf-Bathing entertainment.
There was an empty seat at the table, and Mr. Halleck said he hoped it would be filled by a friend of theirs. He explained that the potential guest was his lawyer, whose office Ben was heading to after finishing law school; soon after, Mr. Atherton arrived. Bartley was ready to be introduced again, but he felt flattered, and the Hallecks were happy to see that he and Mr. Atherton already knew each other; Atherton was so friendly that Bartley felt even more certain that you could never have too strong of an introduction, since he had praised Mr. Atherton among the other guests at the Indigent Surf-Bathing event.
He was put next to Marcia, and after a while he began to talk with her, feeling with a tacit skill for her highest note, and striking that with kindly perseverance. It was not a very high note, and it was not always a certain sound. She could not be sure that he was really interested in the simple matters he had set her to talking about, and from time to time she was afraid that Bartley did not like it: she would not have liked him to talk so long or so freely with a lady. But she found herself talking on, about boarding, and her own preference for keeping house; about Equity, and what sort of place it was, and how far from Crawford's; about Boston, and what she had seen and done there since she had come in the winter. Most of her remarks began or ended with Mr. Hubbard; many of her opinions, especially in matters of taste, were frank repetitions of what Mr. Hubbard thought; her conversation had the charm and pathos of that of the young wife who devotedly loves her husband, who lives in and for him, tests everything by him, refers everything to him. She had a good mind, though it was as bare as it could well be of most of the things that the ladies of Mr. Atherton's world put into their minds.
He was seated next to Marcia, and after a bit, he started chatting with her, skillfully finding her sweet spot and hitting it with gentle persistence. It wasn’t a very high note, and it didn’t always sound certain. She couldn’t tell if he was genuinely interested in the simple topics she was discussing, and sometimes she worried that Bartley disapproved of it; she wouldn’t have liked him to talk so long or so openly with a woman. But she found herself continuing to talk, about boarding and her preference for managing a home; about Equity, what kind of place it was, and how far it was from Crawford's; about Boston and what she had seen and done there since she arrived in the winter. Most of her comments started or ended with Mr. Hubbard; many of her views, especially about taste, were straightforward repetitions of what Mr. Hubbard believed; her conversation had the charm and bittersweetness of a young wife who deeply loves her husband, living for him, measuring everything against him, and referring everything back to him. She was intelligent, though her mind was almost empty of the things that women in Mr. Atherton's world typically filled theirs with.
Mrs. Halleck made from time to time a little murmur of satisfaction in Marcia's loyalty, and then sank back into the meek silence that she only emerged from to propose more tea to some one, or to direct Cyrus about offering this dish or that.
Mrs. Halleck occasionally let out a small sound of satisfaction at Marcia's loyalty, then returned to her quiet demeanor, only speaking up to suggest more tea to someone or to instruct Cyrus on serving this dish or that.
After they rose she took Marcia about, to show her the house, ending with the room which Bartley had when he visited there. They sat down in this room and had a long chat, and when they came back to the parlor they found Mr. Atherton already gone. Marcia inferred the early habits of the household from the departure of this older friend, but Bartley was in no hurry; he was enjoying himself, and he could not see that Mr. Halleck seemed at all sleepy.
After they got up, she took Marcia around to show her the house, finishing with the room that Bartley used when he visited. They sat in that room and had a long conversation, and when they returned to the parlor, they found that Mr. Atherton had already left. Marcia guessed the early routines of the household from the departure of this older friend, but Bartley wasn’t in a rush; he was having a good time, and he didn't notice that Mr. Halleck looked tired at all.
Mrs. Halleck wished to send them home in her carriage, but they would not hear of this; they would far rather walk, and when they had been followed to the door, and bidden mind the steps as they went down, the wide open night did not seem too large for their content in themselves and each other.
Mrs. Halleck wanted to send them home in her carriage, but they refused; they would much rather walk. After being escorted to the door and reminded to watch their step as they went down, the vast open night felt just right for their happiness in themselves and each other.
“Did you have a nice time?” asked Bartley, though he knew he need not.
“Did you have a good time?” Bartley asked, even though he knew he didn’t really need to.
“The best time I ever had in the world!” cried Marcia.
“The best time I’ve ever had in the world!” shouted Marcia.
They discussed the whole affair; the two old people; Mr. Atherton, and how pleasant he was; the house and its splendors, which they did not know were hideous. “Bartley,” said Marcia at last, “I told Mrs. Halleck.”
They talked about everything; the two elderly people; Mr. Atherton, and how nice he was; the house and its grandeur, which they didn’t realize was awful. “Bartley,” Marcia finally said, “I told Mrs. Halleck.”
“Did you?” he returned, in trepidation; but after a while he laughed. “Well, all right, if you wanted to.”
“Did you?” he replied nervously; but after a moment, he laughed. “Well, okay, if that’s what you wanted.”
“Yes, I did; and you can't think how kind she was. She says we must have a house of our own somewhere, and she's going round with me in her carriage to help me to find one.”
“Yes, I did; and you wouldn't believe how kind she was. She says we need to have our own place somewhere, and she's driving around with me in her carriage to help me find one.”
“Well,” said Bartley, and he fetched a sigh, half of pride, half of dismay.
“Well,” Bartley said, letting out a sigh that was part pride and part disappointment.
“Yes, I long to go to housekeeping. We can afford it now. She says we can get a cheap little house, or half a house, up at the South End, and it won't cost us any more than to board, hardly; and that's what I think, too.”
“Yes, I really want to start a household. We can afford it now. She says we can find a small, affordable house, or even half a house, over at the South End, and it won't cost us any more than boarding would, barely; and that's what I think, too.”
“Go ahead, if you can find the house. I don't object to my own fireside. And I suppose we must.”
“Go ahead, if you can find the house. I’m fine with my own fireside. And I guess we have to.”
“Yes, we must. Ain't you glad of it?”
“Yes, we must. Aren't you glad about it?”
They were in the shadow of a tall house, and he dropped his face toward the face she lifted to his, and gave her a silent kiss that made her heart leap toward him.
They were under the shadow of a tall house, and he lowered his face toward hers, giving her a silent kiss that made her heart race toward him.
XX.
With the other news that Halleck's mother gave him on his return, she told him of the chance that had brought his old college comrade to them again, and of how Bartley was now married, and was just settled in the little house she had helped his wife to find. “He has married a very pretty girl,” she said.
With the other news that Halleck's mother shared with him when he got back, she told him about the opportunity that had brought his old college friend to them again, and how Bartley was now married and had just moved into the little house she helped his wife find. “He married a really pretty girl,” she said.
“Oh, I dare say!” answered her son. “He isn't the fellow to have married a plain girl.”
“Oh, I bet!” her son replied. “He's not the kind of guy who would marry someone plain.”
“Your father and I have been to call upon them in their new house, and they seem very happy together. Mr. Hubbard wants you should come to see them. He talks a great deal about you.”
“Your dad and I went to visit them in their new house, and they seem really happy together. Mr. Hubbard wants you to come and see them. He talks a lot about you.”
“I'll look them up in good time,” said the young man. “Hubbard's ardor to see me will keep.”
“I’ll check on them when the time is right,” said the young man. “Hubbard's eagerness to see me can wait.”
That evening Mr. Atherton came to tea, and Halleck walked home with him to his lodgings, which were over the hill, and beyond the Public Garden. “Yes, it's very pleasant, getting back,” he said, as they sauntered down the Common side of Beacon Street, “and the old town is picturesque after the best they can do across the water.” He halted his friend, and brought himself to a rest on his cane, for a look over the hollow of the Common and the level of the Garden where the late September dark was keenly spangled with lamps. “'My heart leaps up,' and so forth, when I see that. Now that Athens and Florence and Edinburgh are past, I don't think there is any place quite so well worth being born in as Boston.” He moved forward again, gently surging with his limp, in a way that had its charm for those that loved him. “It's more authentic and individual, more municipal, after the old pattern, than any other modern city. It gives its stamp, it characterizes. The Boston Irishman, the Boston Jew, is a quite different Irishman or Jew from those of other places. Even Boston provinciality is a precious testimony to the authoritative personality of the city. Cosmopolitanism is a modern vice, and we're antique, we're classic, in the other thing. Yes, I'd rather be a Bostonian, at odds with Boston, than one of the curled darlings of any other community.”
That evening, Mr. Atherton came over for tea, and Halleck walked back with him to his place, which was over the hill and beyond the Public Garden. “Yeah, it’s really nice to be back,” he said as they strolled down the Common side of Beacon Street, “and the old town looks beautiful compared to what they have across the water.” He paused his friend and leaned on his cane to take a look over the hollow of the Common and the expanse of the Garden, which was bright with lights in the crisp late September night. “'My heart leaps up,' and all that, when I see that. Now that Athens and Florence and Edinburgh are behind us, I don’t think there’s anywhere better to be born than Boston.” He started moving forward again, gently limping in a way that was charming to those who cared for him. “It's more genuine and unique, more community-focused in the traditional sense, than any other modern city. It leaves its mark; it gives its character. A Boston Irishman or a Boston Jew is quite different from those in other places. Even Boston's provincialism is a valuable testament to the city's strong identity. Cosmopolitanism is a modern flaw, and we're old-fashioned, we're classic in that sense. Yes, I'd rather be a Bostonian, even if it means going against Boston, than one of the pampered elites of any other community.”
A friend knows how to allow for mere quantity in your talk, and only replies to the quality, separates your earnest from your whimsicality, and accounts for some whimsicality in your earnest. “I didn't know but you might have got that bee out of your bonnet, on the other side,” said Atherton.
A friend understands how to focus on the quality of your conversation rather than the quantity, distinguishing between your serious moments and your playful ones, and recognizing a bit of playfulness in your seriousness. “I didn't know you might have gotten that bee out of your bonnet on the other side,” Atherton said.
“No, sir; we change our skies, but not our bees. What should I amount to without my grievance? You wouldn't have known me. This talk to-night about Hubbard has set my bee to buzzing with uncommon liveliness; and the thought of the Law School next week does nothing to allay him. The Law School isn't Harvard; I realize that more and more, though I have tried to fancy that it was. No, sir, my wrongs are irreparable. I had the making of a real Harvard man in me, and of a Unitarian, nicely balanced between radicalism and amateur episcopacy. Now, I am an orthodox ruin, and the undutiful stepson of a Down East alma mater. I belong nowhere; I'm at odds.—Is Hubbard's wife really handsome, or is she only country-pretty?”
"No, sir; we change our surroundings, but not our core beliefs. What would I be without my grievances? You wouldn't even recognize me. This conversation tonight about Hubbard has got my thoughts racing like crazy; and the idea of the Law School next week isn't helping at all. The Law School isn't Harvard; I realize that more and more, even though I’ve tried to convince myself it was. No, sir, my grievances are permanent. I had the potential to be a true Harvard man, and a Unitarian, perfectly balanced between radical thinking and a bit of traditionalism. Now, I'm just a conventional mess, and the disobedient stepson of a New England alma mater. I don't belong anywhere; I'm just conflicted.—Is Hubbard's wife really attractive, or is she just pretty for the countryside?"
“She's beautiful,—I assure you she's beautiful,” said Atherton with such earnestness that Halleck laughed.
“She's beautiful, I promise you she's beautiful,” Atherton said with such sincerity that Halleck laughed.
“Well, that's right! as my father says. How's she beautiful?”
“Well, that's true! Just like my dad says. How is she so beautiful?”
“That's difficult to tell. It's rather a superb sort of style; and—What did you really use to think of your friend?” Atherton broke off to ask.
“That's hard to say. It's quite a fantastic style; and—What did you actually think of your friend?” Atherton interrupted to ask.
“Who? Hubbard?”
"Who? Is it Hubbard?"
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“He was a poor, cheap sort of a creature. Deplorably smart, and regrettably handsome. A fellow that assimilated everything to a certain extent, and nothing thoroughly. A fellow with no more moral nature than a base-ball The sort of chap you'd expect to find, the next time you met him, in Congress or the house of correction.”
“He was a cheap and pitiful kind of person. Sadly clever, and unfortunately attractive. A guy who picked up on things to some degree, but never really understood anything deeply. A guy with as much moral character as a baseball. The kind of guy you’d expect to run into next time in Congress or a correctional facility.”
“Yes, that accounts for it,” said Atherton, thoughtfully.
“Yes, that makes sense,” said Atherton, deep in thought.
“Accounts for what?”
"Accounts for what exactly?"
“The sort of look she had. A look as if she were naturally above him, and had somehow fascinated herself with him, and were worshipping him in some sort of illusion.”
“The kind of look she had. A look that conveyed she was naturally above him, and had somehow become fascinated with him, as if she were idolizing him in some kind of illusion.”
“Doesn't that sound a little like refining upon the facts? Recollect: I've never seen her, and I don't say you're wrong.”
“Doesn't that sound a bit like twisting the facts? Remember: I've never met her, and I'm not saying you're wrong.”
“I'm not sure I'm not, though. I talked with her, and found her nothing more than honest and sensible and good; simple in her traditions, of course, and countrified yet, in her ideas, with a tendency to the intensely practical. I don't see why she mightn't very well be his wife. I suppose every woman hoodwinks herself about her husband in some degree.”
“I'm not so sure I'm not, though. I talked to her, and found her nothing more than honest, sensible, and good; simple in her traditions, of course, and a bit rustic in her ideas, with a strong focus on being practical. I don't see why she couldn't very well be his wife. I guess every woman deceives herself about her husband to some extent.”
“Yes; and we always like to fancy something pathetic in the fate of pretty girls that other fellows marry. I notice that we don't sorrow much over the plain ones. How's the divine Clara?”
"Yeah; and we often like to imagine something sad about the fate of pretty girls that other guys marry. I've noticed we don't feel as sorry for the plain ones. How's the amazing Clara?"
“I believe she's well,” said Atherton. “I haven't seen her, all summer. She's been at Beverley.”
"I believe she's doing well," Atherton said. "I haven't seen her at all this summer. She's been at Beverley."
“Why, I should have supposed she would have come up and surf-bathed those indigent children with her own hand. She's equal to it. What made her falter in well-doing?”
“Why, I thought she would have come over and helped those poor kids herself. She’s capable of it. What made her hesitate in doing something good?”
“I don't know that we can properly call it faltering. There was a deficit in the appropriation necessary, and she made it up herself. After that, she consulted me seriously as to whether she ought not to stay in town and superintend the execution of the plan. But I told her she might fitly delegate that. She was all the more anxious to perform her whole duty, because she confessed that indigent children were personally unpleasant to her.”
“I’m not sure we can really call it faltering. There was a lack of funds needed, and she covered it herself. After that, she seriously asked me if she should stay in town and oversee the execution of the plan. But I told her she could appropriately delegate that. She was even more eager to fulfill her duty because she admitted that underprivileged children were personally uncomfortable for her.”
Halleck burst out laughing. “That's like Clara! How charming women are! They're charming even in their goodness! I wonder the novelists don't take a hint from that fact, and stop giving us those scaly heroines they've been running lately. Why, a real woman can make righteousness delicious and virtue piquant. I like them for that!”
Halleck laughed loudly. “That's so like Clara! Women are so charming! They're charming even when they're good! I wonder why novelists don’t pick up on that and stop giving us those awful heroines they’ve been writing about lately. A real woman can make being good feel great and virtue exciting. I really appreciate them for that!”
“Do you?” asked Atherton, laughing in his turn at the single-minded confession. He was some years older than his friend.
“Do you?” Atherton asked, laughing at the straightforward confession. He was a few years older than his friend.
They had got down to Charles Street, and Halleck took out his watch at the corner lamp. “It isn't at all late yet,—only half-past eight. The days are getting shorter.”
They had made it to Charles Street, and Halleck pulled out his watch at the corner streetlight. “It’s not late at all—just half past eight. The days are getting shorter.”
“Well?”
"What's up?"
“Suppose we go and call on Hubbard now? He's right up here on Clover Street!”
“Why don’t we go visit Hubbard now? He's just up here on Clover Street!”
“I don't know,” said Atherton. “It would do for you; you're an old friend. But for me,—wouldn't it be rather unceremonious?”
“I don’t know,” said Atherton. “That would work for you; you’re an old friend. But for me, wouldn’t it be a bit too casual?”
“Oh, come along! They'll not be punctilious. They'll like our dropping in, and I shall have Hubbard off my conscience. I must go to see him sooner or later, for decency's sake.”
“Oh, come on! They won’t be so formal. They’ll be happy we stopped by, and I’ll be able to stop feeling guilty about not seeing Hubbard. I need to go see him eventually, for the sake of decency.”
Atherton suffered himself to be led away. “I suppose you won't stay long?”
Atherton allowed himself to be taken away. “I guess you won't be staying long?”
“Oh, no; I shall cut it very short,” said Halleck; and they climbed the narrow little street where Marcia had at last found a house, after searching the South End quite to the Highlands, and ransacking Charlestown and Carnbridgeport. These points all seemed to her terribly remote from where Bartley must be at work during the day, and she must be alone without the sight of him from morning till night. The accessibility of Canary Place had spoiled her for distances; she wanted Bartley at home for their one-o'clock dinner; she wanted to have him within easy call at all times; and she was glad when none of those far-off places yielded quite what they desired in a house. They took the house on Clover Street, though it was a little dearer than they expected, for two years, and they furnished it, as far as they could, out of the three or four hundred dollars they had saved, including the remaining hundred from the colt and cutter, kept sacredly intact by Marcia. When you entered, the narrow staircase cramped you into the little parlor opening out of the hall; and back of the parlor was the dining-room. Overhead were two chambers, and overhead again were two chambers more; in the basement was the kitchen. The house seemed absurdly large to people who had been living for the last seven months in one room, and the view of the Back Bay from the little bow-window of the front chamber added all outdoors to their superfluous space.
“Oh, no; I'm going to keep it really short,” said Halleck; and they went up the narrow street where Marcia had finally found a house, after searching the South End all the way to the Highlands, and scouring Charlestown and Cambridgeport. All these places felt way too far from where Bartley would be working during the day, and she would have to spend the whole day without seeing him. The convenience of Canary Place had made her less tolerant of distance; she wanted Bartley to be home for their one-o'clock lunch; she wanted him close enough to reach at any time; and she was relieved that none of those distant locations offered quite what they needed in a house. They decided on a house on Clover Street, even though it was a bit pricier than they anticipated, for two years, and they furnished it as much as they could with the three or four hundred dollars they had saved, including the last hundred from the colt and cutter, which Marcia kept strictly untouched. When you walked in, the narrow staircase squeezed you into the small parlor that opened from the hall; behind the parlor was the dining room. Upstairs were two bedrooms, and even higher were two more bedrooms; the kitchen was in the basement. The house seemed ridiculously spacious to people who had been living in just one room for the past seven months, and the view of the Back Bay from the little bow window of the front bedroom added an outdoor feel to their extra space.
Bartley came himself to answer Halleck's ring, and they met at once with such a “Why, Halleck!” and “How do you do, Hubbard?” as restored something of their old college comradery. Bartley welcomed Mr. Atherton under the gas-light he had turned up, and then they huddled into the little parlor, where Bartley introduced his old friend to his wife. Marcia wore a sort of dark robe, trimmed with bows of crimson ribbon, which she had made herself, and in which she looked a Roman patrician in an avatar of Boston domesticity; and Bartley was rather proud to see his friend so visibly dazzled by her beauty. It quite abashed Halleck, who limped helplessly about, after his cane had been taken from him, before he sat down, while Marcia, from the vantage of the sofa and the covert of her talk with Atherton, was content that Halleck should be plain and awkward, with close-cut drab hair and a dull complexion; she would not have liked even a man who knew Bartley before she did to be very handsome.
Bartley answered Halleck's ring in person, and they immediately exchanged friendly greetings—“Why, Halleck!” and “How do you do, Hubbard?”—that brought back some of their old college camaraderie. Bartley greeted Mr. Atherton under the gaslight he had turned up, and then they squeezed into the small parlor, where Bartley introduced his old friend to his wife. Marcia wore a dark robe adorned with crimson ribbon bows that she had made herself, looking like a Roman noblewoman in a cozy Boston setting; Bartley felt a sense of pride seeing his friend so obviously struck by her beauty. Halleck seemed quite flustered, limping awkwardly around after his cane was taken from him before he finally sat down, while Marcia, sitting on the sofa and chatting with Atherton, was perfectly fine with Halleck being plain and awkward, with his closely cropped drab hair and dull complexion; she wouldn't have wanted a man who knew Bartley before she did to be overly handsome.
Halleck and Bartley had some talk about college days, from which their eyes wandered at times; and then Marcia excused herself to Atherton, and went out, reappearing after an interval at the sliding doors, which she rolled open between the parlor and dining-room. A table set for supper stood behind her, and as she leaned a little forward with her hands each on a leaf of the door, she said, with shy pride, “Bartley, I thought the gentlemen would like to join you,” and he answered, “Of course they would,” and led the way out, refusing to hear any demur. His heart swelled with satisfaction in Marcia; it was something like: having fellows drop in upon you, and be asked out to supper in this easy way; it made Bartley feel good, and he would have liked to give Marcia a hug on the spot. He could not help pressing her foot, under the table, and exchanging a quiver of the eyelashes with her, as he lifted the lid of the white tureen, and looked at her across the glitter of their new crockery and cutlery. They made the jokes of the season about the oyster being promptly on hand for the first of the R months, and Bartley explained that he was sometimes kept at the Events office rather late, and that then Marcia waited supper for him, and always gave him an oyster stew, which she made herself. She could not stop him, and the guests praised the oysters, and then they praised the dining-room and the parlor; and when they rose from the table Bartley said, “Now, we must show you the house,” and persisted against her deprecations in making her lead the way. She was in fact willing enough to show it; her taste had made their money go to the utmost in furnishing it; and though most people were then still in the period of green reps and tan terry, and of dull black-walnut movables, she had everywhere bestowed little touches that told. She had covered the marble parlor-mantel with cloth, and fringed it; and she had set on it two vases in the Pompeiian colors then liked; her carpet was of wood color and a moss pattern; she had done what could be done with folding carpet chairs to give the little room a specious air of luxury; the centre-table was heaped with her sewing and Bartley's newspapers.
Halleck and Bartley talked about their college days, their eyes wandering occasionally. Then Marcia excused herself to Atherton and stepped outside, reappearing after a bit at the sliding doors that she rolled open between the parlor and dining room. A table set for dinner stood behind her, and as she leaned slightly forward with her hands on either side of the door, she said, with shy pride, “Bartley, I thought the gentlemen would like to join you.” He responded, “Of course they would,” and led the way out, ignoring any objections. His heart swelled with satisfaction in Marcia; it felt good to have friends drop by and be invited to dinner this casually. Bartley felt great about it and would have liked to give Marcia a hug right then. He couldn't help but press her foot under the table and exchanged a quick glance with her as he lifted the lid of the white tureen and looked across the shine of their new dishes and utensils. They made seasonal jokes about the oysters being ready for the first of the R months, and Bartley explained that he sometimes had to stay late at the Events office, and Marcia would wait for him and always make him oyster stew herself. She couldn’t stop him, and the guests praised the oysters, then complimented the dining room and parlor. When they got up from the table, Bartley said, “Now, we need to show you the house,” and insisted that she lead the way despite her protests. She was actually quite willing to show it off; her taste had maximized their budget in furnishing it. While most people were still using green fabrics and tan upholstery with plain black-walnut furniture, she had added little touches everywhere that made a difference. She had covered the marble mantel in the parlor with fabric and added fringe, placing two vases in the popular Pompeii colors on it. Her carpet reflected a wood color with a moss pattern, and she had done her best with folding carpet chairs to give the small room an air of luxury. The center table was piled with her sewing and Bartley's newspapers.
“We've just moved in, and we haven't furnished all the rooms yet,” she said of two empty ones which Bartley perversely flung open.
“We've just moved in, and we haven't furnished all the rooms yet,” she said about the two empty ones that Bartley stubbornly opened.
“And I don't know that we shall. The house is much too big for us; but we thought we'd better take it,” he added, as if it were a castle for vastness.
“And I don’t know if we will. The house is way too big for us; but we thought it was better to take it,” he added, as if it were a huge castle.
Halleck and Atherton were silent for some moments after they came away, and then, “I don't believe he whips her,” suggested the latter.
Halleck and Atherton were quiet for a few moments after they left, and then Atherton said, “I don’t think he hits her.”
“No, I guess he's fond of her,” said Halleck, gravely.
“No, I guess he likes her,” said Halleck, seriously.
“Did you see how careful he was of her, coming up and down stairs? That was very pretty; and it was pretty to see them both so ready to show off their young housekeeping to us.”
“Did you see how careful he was with her going up and down the stairs? That was really nice; and it was nice to see them both so eager to show off their new home skills to us.”
“Yes, it improves a man to get married,” said Halleck, with a long, stifled sigh. “It's improved the most selfish hound I ever knew.”
“Yes, getting married does make a man better,” Halleck said, with a long, suppressed sigh. “It’s changed the most selfish guy I ever knew.”
XXI.
The two elder Miss Hallecks were so much older than Olive, the youngest, that they seemed to be of a sort of intermediary generation between her and her parents, though Olive herself was well out of her teens, and was the senior of her brother Ben by two or three years. The elder sisters were always together, and they adhered in common to the religion of their father and mother. The defection of their brother was passive, but Olive, having conscientiously adopted an alien faith, was not a person to let others imagine her ashamed of it, and her Unitarianism was outspoken. In her turn she formed a kind of party with Ben inside the family, and would have led him on in her own excesses of independence if his somewhat melancholy indifferentism had consented. It was only in his absence that she had been with her sisters during their summer sojourn in the White Mountains; when they returned home, she vigorously went her way, and left them to go theirs. She was fond of them in her defiant fashion; but in such a matter as calling on Mrs. Hubbard she chose not to be mixed up with her family, or in any way to countenance her family's prepossessions. Her sisters paid their visit together, and she waited for Clara Kingsbury to come up from the seaside. Then she went with her to call upon Marcia, sitting observant and non-committal while Clara swooped through the little house, up stairs and down, clamoring over its prettiness, and admiring the art with which so few dollars could be made to go so far. “Think of finding such a bower on Clover Street!” She made Marcia give her the cost of everything; and her heart swelled with pride in her sex—when she heard that Marcia had put down all the carpets herself. “I wanted to make them up,” Marcia explained, “but Mr. Hubbard wouldn't let me,—it cost so little at the store.”
The two older Miss Hallecks were so much older than Olive, the youngest, that they seemed like they belonged to a different generation between her and their parents, even though Olive was well past her teenage years and was a couple of years older than her brother Ben. The elder sisters were always together and shared the same beliefs as their parents. Their brother's departure was passive, but Olive, who had sincerely adopted a different faith, was not the type to let anyone think she was ashamed of it, and she openly expressed her Unitarian views. In her way, she formed a sort of alliance with Ben within the family and would have encouraged him to join her in her pursuits of independence if his somewhat gloomy indifference had allowed it. She had only been with her sisters during their summer trip to the White Mountains while Ben was away; when they came back home, she confidently followed her own path and left them to follow theirs. She cared for them in her rebellious way, but when it came to visiting Mrs. Hubbard, she chose not to get involved with her family or support their views. Her sisters visited together, and she waited for Clara Kingsbury to come up from the seaside. Then she went with Clara to see Marcia, sitting quietly and non-committal while Clara enthusiastically explored the small house, going up and down stairs, admiring its charm and the creativity with which so few dollars could stretch so far. “Can you believe such a lovely spot is on Clover Street?” She asked Marcia the price of everything and felt a rush of pride when she learned that Marcia had installed all the carpets herself. “I wanted to make them myself,” Marcia explained, “but Mr. Hubbard wouldn't let me—it was so cheap at the store.”
“Wouldn't let you!” cried Miss Kingsbury. “I should hope as much, indeed! Why, my child, you're a Roman matron!”
“Wouldn't let you!” shouted Miss Kingsbury. “I certainly hope so! Why, my dear, you're a Roman matron!”
She came away in agony lest Marcia might think she meant her nose. She drove early the next morning to tell Olive Halleck that she had spent a sleepless night from this cause, and to ask her what she should do. “Do you think she will be hurt, Olive? Tell me what led up to it. How did I behave before that? The context is everything in such cases.”
She left in pain, worried that Marcia might think she was talking about her nose. The next morning, she drove early to tell Olive Halleck that she had spent a sleepless night because of this and to ask her what she should do. “Do you think she’ll be upset, Olive? Please tell me what happened before that. How did I act leading up to it? The context is everything in situations like this.”
“Oh, you went about praising everything, and screaming and shouting, and my-dearing and my-childing her, and patronizing—”
“Oh, you went around praising everything, and screaming and shouting, and calling her my dear and my child, and being all condescending—”
“There, there! say no more! That's sufficient! I see,—I see it all! I've done the very most offensive thing I could, when I meant to be the most appreciative.”
"There, there! Don't say anything else! That's enough! I get it—I see the whole thing! I've done the most hurtful thing possible when I meant to be the most grateful."
“These country people don't like to be appreciated down to the quick, in that way,” said Olive. “I should think Mrs. Hubbard was rather a proud person.”
“These country folks don’t like to be appreciated so deeply like that,” said Olive. “I would think Mrs. Hubbard is rather a proud person.”
“I know! I know!” moaned Miss Kingsbury. “It was ghastly.”
“I know! I know!” groaned Miss Kingsbury. “It was terrible.”
“I don't suppose she's ashamed of her nose—”
“I don't think she's embarrassed about her nose—”
“Olive!” cried her friend, “be still! Why, I can't bear it! Why, you wretched thing!”
“Olive!” her friend shouted, “calm down! I can't handle it! You poor thing!”
“I dare say all the ladies in Equity make up their own carpets, and put them down, and she thought you were laughing at her.”
“I bet all the ladies in Equity make their own carpets and lay them down, and she thought you were making fun of her.”
“Will you be still, Olive Halleck?” Miss Kingsbury was now a large, blonde mass of suffering, “Oh, dear, dear! What shall I do? It was sacrilege—yes, it was nothing less than sacrilege—to go on as I did. And I meant so well! I did so admire, and respect, and revere her!” Olive burst out laughing. “You wicked girl!” whimpered Clara. “Should you—should you write to her?”
“Will you be quiet, Olive Halleck?” Miss Kingsbury was now a large, blonde bundle of distress, “Oh, dear, dear! What should I do? It was sacrilege—yes, it was nothing less than sacrilege—to continue as I did. And I had such good intentions! I really admired, respected, and revered her!” Olive started laughing. “You naughty girl!” Clara complained. “Should you—should you write to her?”
“And tell her you didn't mean her nose? Oh, by all means, Clara,—by all means! Quite an inspiration. Why not make her an evening party?”
“And tell her you didn't mean her nose? Oh, definitely, Clara—definitely! Such a brilliant idea. Why not throw her an evening party?”
“Olive,” said Clara, with guilty meekness, “I have been thinking of that.”
“Olive,” Clara said, looking guilty, “I've been thinking about that.”
“No, Clara! Not seriously!” cried Olive, sobered at the idea.
No, Clara! Are you serious?!” yelled Olive, now feeling a bit more serious about it.
“Yes, seriously. Would it be so very bad? Only just a little party,” she pleaded. “Half a dozen people or so; just to show them that I really feel—friendly. I know that he's told her all about meeting me here, and I'm not going to have her think I want to drop him because he's married, and lives in a little house on Clover Street.”
“Yes, seriously. Would it really be that bad? Just a small party,” she insisted. “About half a dozen people or so; just to let them know that I genuinely feel—friendly. I know he’s told her all about meeting me here, and I don’t want her to think I want to cut ties with him just because he’s married and lives in a little house on Clover Street.”
“Noble Clara! So you wish to bring them out in Boston society? What will you do with them after you've got them there?” Miss Kingsbury fidgeted in her chair a little. “Now, look me in the eye, Clara! Whom were you going to ask to meet them? Your unfashionable friends, the Hallecks?”
“Noble Clara! So you want to introduce them to Boston society? What will you do with them once they're there?” Miss Kingsbury shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “Now, look me in the eye, Clara! Who were you planning to have meet them? Your out-of-style friends, the Hallecks?”
“My friends, the Hallecks, of course.”
"My friends, the Hallecks, of course."
“And Mr. Atherton, your legal adviser?”
"And Mr. Atherton, your attorney?"
“I had thought of asking Mr. Atherton. You needn't say what he is, if you please, Olive; you know that there's no one I prize so much.”
“I was thinking about asking Mr. Atherton. You don’t have to say who he is, if you don’t want to, Olive; you know that there’s no one I value more.”
“Very good. And Mr. Cameron?”
“Sounds great. And Mr. Cameron?”
“He has got back,—yes. He's very nice.”
"He's back—yeah. He's super nice."
“A Cambridge tutor; very young and of recent attachment to the College, with no local affiliations, yet. What ladies?”
“A Cambridge tutor; very young and recently connected to the College, with no local ties yet. What ladies?”
“Miss Strong is a nice girl; she is studying at the Conservatory.”
“Miss Strong is a nice girl; she is studying at the Conservatory.”
“Yes. Poverty-stricken votary of Miss Kingsbury. Well?”
“Yes. Poor devotee of Miss Kingsbury. So?”
“Miss Clancy.”
“Ms. Clancy.”
“Unfashionable sister of fashionable artist. Yes?”
“Uncool sister of trendy artist. Right?”
“The Brayhems.”
“The Brayhems.”
“Young radical clergyman, and his wife, without a congregation, and hoping for a pulpit in Billerica. Parlor lectures on German literature in the mean time. Well?”
“Young, passionate clergyman and his wife, without a congregation, hoping for a pulpit in Billerica. Giving parlor lectures on German literature in the meantime. So?”
“And Mrs. Savage, I thought.”
“And Mrs. Savage, I thought.”
“Well-preserved young widow of uncertain antecedents tending to grassiness; out-door protégée of the hostess. Yes, Clara, go on and give your party. It will be perfectly safe! But do you think it will deceive anybody?”
“Well-preserved young widow with unclear background taking care of the garden; outdoor protégée of the hostess. Yes, Clara, go ahead and throw your party. It will be perfectly safe! But do you think it will fool anyone?”
“Now, Olive Halleck!” cried Clara, “I am not going to have you talking to me in that way! You have no right to do it, and you have no business to do it,” she added, trying to pluck up a spirit. “Is there anybody that I value more than I do you and your sisters, and Ben?”
“Now, Olive Halleck!” Clara exclaimed, “I'm not going to let you talk to me like that! You have no right to do it, and it's not your place to do it,” she continued, trying to gather her courage. “Is there anyone I care about more than you, your sisters, and Ben?”
“No. But you don't value us just in that way, and you know it. Don't you be a humbug, Clara. Now go on with your excuses.”
“No. But you don't value us like that, and you know it. Don't be a phony, Clara. Now continue with your excuses.”
“I'm not making excuses! Isn't Mr. Atherton in the most fashionable society?”
“I'm not making excuses! Isn't Mr. Atherton in the most fashionable circle?”
“Yes. Why don't you ask some other fashionable people?”
“Yes. Why don't you ask some other trendy people?”
“Olive, this is all nonsense,—perfect nonsense! I can invite any one I like to meet any one I like, and if I choose to show Mr. Hubbard's wife a little attention, I can do it, can't I?”
“Olive, this is all nonsense—totally ridiculous! I can invite anyone I want to meet anyone I want, and if I decide to give Mr. Hubbard's wife a bit of attention, I can do that, right?”
“Oh, of course!”
“Oh, totally!”
“And what would be the use of inviting fashionable people—as you call them—to meet them? It would just embarrass them, all round.”
“And what’s the point of inviting trendy people—like you call them—to meet them? It would just make everyone uncomfortable.”
“Perfectly correct, Miss Kingsbury. All that want you to do is to face the facts of the case. I want you to realize that, in showing Mr. Hubbard's wife this little attention, you're not doing it because you scorn to drop an old friend, and want to do him the highest honor; but because you think you can palm off your second-class acquaintance on them for first-class, and try to make up in that way for telling her she had a hooked nose!”
“Absolutely right, Miss Kingsbury. All I want you to do is face the facts. I need you to understand that when you show Mr. Hubbard's wife this small gesture, you're not doing it out of a desire to honor an old friend; rather, you believe you can pass off your second-rate acquaintance as top-notch and try to make up for telling her she had a hooked nose!”
“You know that I didn't tell her she had a hooked nose.”
“You know that I didn’t say she had a hooked nose.”
“You told her that she was a Roman matron,—it's the same thing,” said Olive.
“You told her she was a Roman matron—it's the same thing,” said Olive.
Miss Kingsbury bit her lip and tried to look a dignified resentment. She ended by saying, with feeble spite, “I shall have the little evening for all you say. I suppose you won't refuse to come because I don't ask the whole Blue Book to meet them.”
Miss Kingsbury bit her lip and tried to appear dignified while feeling resentful. She finally said, with weak irritation, “I’m still going to have the little gathering, no matter what you say. I assume you won’t refuse to come just because I’m not inviting everyone from the Blue Book to meet them.”
“Of course we shall come! I wouldn't miss it for anything. I always like to see how you manage your pieces of social duplicity, Clara. But you needn't expect that I will be a party to the swindle. No, Clara! I shall go to these poor young people and tell them plainly, 'This is not the best society; Miss Kingsbury keeps that for—'”
“Of course we’ll come! I wouldn’t miss it for anything. I always enjoy watching how you navigate your little social tricks, Clara. But don’t think I'll take part in the deception. No, Clara! I’m going to go to those poor young people and tell them straight up, ‘This isn’t the best society; Miss Kingsbury saves that for—’”
“Olive! I think I never saw even you in such a teasing humor.” The tears came into Clara's large, tender blue eyes, and she continued with an appeal that had no effect, “I'm sure I don't see why you should make it a question of anything of the sort. It's simply a wish to—to have a little company of no particular kind, for no partic—Because I want to.”
“Olive! I don't think I've ever seen you in such a teasing mood.” Tears welled up in Clara's big, tender blue eyes, and she went on with an appeal that didn’t change anything, “I really don’t see why you should make it a big deal. It’s just a desire to—to have some company, no specific type, for no specific reason—Because I want to.”
“Oh, that's it, is it? Then I highly approve of it,” said Olive. “When is it to be?”
“Oh, is that how it is? Well, I totally approve of it,” said Olive. “When is it happening?”
“I sha'n't tell you, now! You may wait till I'm ready,” pouted Clara, as she rose to go.
“I won’t tell you now! You can wait until I’m ready,” pouted Clara as she stood up to leave.
“Don't go away thinking I'm enough to provoke a saint because you've got mad at me, Clara!”
“Don’t walk away thinking I’m enough to upset a saint just because you’re mad at me, Clara!”
“Mad? You know I'm not mad! But I think you might be a little sympathetic sometimes, Olive!” said her friend, kissing her.
“Mad? You know I’m not crazy! But I think you could be a little sympathetic sometimes, Olive!” said her friend, kissing her.
“Not in cases of social duplicity, Clara. My wrath is all that saves you. If you were not afraid of me, you would have been a lost worldling long ago.”
“Not in situations of social deceit, Clara. My anger is what keeps you safe. If you weren’t scared of me, you would have been just another lost person a long time ago.”
“I know you always really love me,” said Miss Kingsbury, tenderly.
“I know you truly love me,” said Miss Kingsbury, warmly.
“No, I don't,” retorted her friend, promptly. “Not when you're humbugging. Don't expect it, for you won't get it.” She followed Clara with a triumphant laugh as she went out of the door; and except for this parting taunt Clara might have given up her scheme. She first ordered her coupé driven home, in fact, and then lowered the window to countermand the direction, and drove to Bartley's door on Clover Street.
“No, I don’t,” her friend shot back immediately. “Not when you’re just pretending. Don’t expect it, because you won’t get it.” She followed Clara out the door with a triumphant laugh, and if it hadn’t been for that parting jab, Clara might have abandoned her plan. She actually first requested her coupé to head home, but then she rolled down the window to cancel that order and drove to Bartley’s place on Clover Street.
It was a very handsome equipage, and was in keeping with all the outward belongings of Miss Kingsbury, who mingled a sense of duty and a love of luxury in her life in very exact proportions. When her coupé was not standing before some of the wretchedest doors in the city, it was waiting at the finest; and Clara's days were divided between the extremes of squalor and of fashion.
It was a really stylish carriage, matching all of Miss Kingsbury's belongings, who balanced her sense of duty with a love for luxury in perfect measure. When her coupé wasn't parked outside some of the most rundown places in the city, it was waiting at the most upscale ones; Clara’s days were split between the extremes of poverty and high fashion.
She was the only child of parents who had early left her an orphan. Her father, who was much her mother's senior, was an old friend of Olive's father, and had made him his executor and the guardian of his daughter. Mr. Halleck had taken her into his own family, and, in the conscientious pursuance of what he believed would have been her father's preference, he gave her worldly advantages which he would not have desired for one of his own children. But the friendship that grew up between Clara and Olive was too strong for him in some things, and the girls went to the same fashionable school together.
She was the only child of parents who had left her an orphan at a young age. Her father, who was much older than her mother, was an old friend of Olive's dad and had named him as the executor of his will and the guardian of his daughter. Mr. Halleck welcomed her into his family, and out of a genuine belief that it was what her father would have wanted, he provided her with opportunities that he wouldn't have wished for his own kids. However, the strong bond that developed between Clara and Olive sometimes made it hard for him, and the girls attended the same prestigious school together.
When his ward came of age he made over to her the fortune, increased by his careful management, which her father had left her, and advised her to put her affairs in the hands of Mr. Atherton. She had shown a quite ungirlish eagerness to manage them for herself; in the midst of her profusion she had odd accesses of stinginess, in which she fancied herself coming to poverty; and her guardian judged it best that she should have a lawyer who could tell her at any moment just where she stood. She hesitated, but she did as he advised; and having once intrusted her property to Atherton's care, she added her conscience and her reason in large degree, and obeyed him with embarrassing promptness in matters that did not interfere with her pleasures. Her pleasures were of various kinds. She chose to buy herself a fine house, and, having furnished it luxuriously and unearthed a cousin of her father's in Vermont and brought her to Boston to matronize her, she kept house on a magnificent scale, pinching, however, at certain points with unexpected meanness. When she was alone, her table was of a Spartan austerity; she exacted a great deal from her servants, and paid them as small wages as she could. After that she did not mind lavishing money upon them in kindness. A seamstress whom she had once employed fell sick, and Miss Kingsbury sent her to the Bahamas and kept her there till she was well, and then made her a guest in her house till the girl could get back her work. She watched her cook through the measles, caring for her like a mother; and, as Olive Halleck said, she was always portioning or burying the sisters of her second-girls. She was in all sorts of charities, but she was apt to cut her charities off with her pleasures at any moment, if she felt poor. She was fond of dress, and went a great deal into society: she suspected men generally of wishing to marry her for her money, but with those whom she did not think capable of aspiring to her hand, she was generously helpful with her riches. She liked to patronize; she had long supported an unpromising painter at Rome, and she gave orders to desperate artists at home.
When her guardian handed over her inheritance, which he had carefully grown since her father's passing, he advised her to let Mr. Atherton manage her finances. Though she had shown an unusual enthusiasm for handling her own affairs, she often experienced odd spells of frugality where she imagined herself slipping into poverty. Her guardian thought it best for her to have a lawyer who could provide clarity on her financial situation at any moment. She hesitated but ultimately followed his advice. Once she entrusted her property to Atherton, she also relied on his judgment, following his guidance promptly in matters that didn’t interfere with her enjoyment. Her pleasures were diverse. She decided to buy an impressive house and furnished it lavishly, bringing a distant cousin from Vermont to Boston to help run things, maintaining a grand lifestyle while occasionally being surprisingly stingy. When alone, her meals were quite austere; she demanded a lot from her staff and paid them the lowest wages possible. However, she didn't hesitate to be generous in other ways. When a seamstress she had employed fell ill, Miss Kingsbury sent her to the Bahamas for recovery and hosted her until she could return to work. She cared for her cook when she had the measles, as if she were her own mother. As Olive Halleck remarked, she was always aiding or burying the sisters of her household staff. Although she engaged in various charitable activities, she was quick to cut back on her generosity if she felt financially strained. She loved fashion and socializing; while she suspected many men wanted to marry her for her wealth, she was generous with those she deemed incapable of pursuing her. She enjoyed being a patron; she had long supported a struggling painter in Rome and commissioned desperate artists at home.
The world had pretty well hardened one half of her heart, but the other half was still soft and loving, and into this side of her mixed nature she cowered when she believed she had committed some blunder or crime, and came whimpering to Olive Halleck for punishment. She made Olive her discipline partly in her lack of some fixed religion. She had not yet found a religion that exactly suited her, though she had many times believed herself about to be anchored in some faith forever.
The world had toughened one half of her heart, but the other half was still soft and loving. She would retreat to this side of her mixed nature whenever she thought she had made a mistake or done something wrong, seeking punishment from Olive Halleck. She looked to Olive for discipline partly because she lacked a solid belief system. She hadn’t found a religion that truly fit her yet, even though she had often thought she was finally settled in some faith for good.
She was almost sorry that she had put her resolution in effect when she rang at the door, and Marcia herself answered the bell, in place of the one servant who was at that moment hanging out the wash. It seemed wicked to pretend to be showing this pretty creature a social attention, when she meant to palm off a hollow imitation of society upon her. Why should she not ask the very superfinest of her friends to meet such a brilliant beauty? It would serve Olive Halleck right if she should do this, and leave the Hallecks out; and Marcia would certainly be a sensation. She half believed that she meant to do it when she quitted the house with Marcia's promise that she would bring her husband to tea on Wednesday evening, at eight; and she drove away so far penitent that she resolved at least to make her company distinguished, if not fashionable. She said to herself that she would make it fashionable yet, if she chose, and as a first move in this direction she easily secured Mr. Atherton: he had no engagements, so few people had got back to town. She called upon Mrs. Witherby, needlessly reminding her of the charity committees they had served on together; and then she went home and actually sent out notes to the plainest daughter and the maiden aunt of two of the most high-born families of her acquaintance. She added to her list an artist and his wife, (“Now I shall have to let him paint me!” she reflected,) a young author whose book had made talk, a teacher of Italian with whom she was pretending to read Dante, and a musical composer.
She almost regretted putting her plan into action when she rang the doorbell, and Marcia herself answered instead of the one servant who was currently hanging out the wash. It felt wrong to pretend she was giving this pretty girl a social invitation when she really intended to offer her a shallow imitation of society. Why shouldn’t she invite the most exclusive of her friends to meet such an incredible beauty? It would serve Olive Halleck right if she did this and left the Hallecks out; Marcia would definitely be a sensation. She half believed she intended to go through with it when she left the house after Marcia promised to bring her husband for tea on Wednesday evening at eight. As she drove away, she felt so guilty that she resolved to make her guests distinguished, if not fashionable. She told herself she could make it fashionable if she wanted to, and as a first step, she easily got Mr. Atherton: he had no plans since so few people were back in town. She visited Mrs. Witherby, unnecessarily reminding her of the charity committees they had served on together; then she went home and actually sent out invitations to the plainest daughter and the maiden aunt of two of the most prominent families she knew. She added to her list an artist and his wife (she thought, “Now I’ll *have* to let him paint me!”), a young author whose book had caused a stir, a teacher of Italian whom she was pretending to read Dante with, and a musical composer.
Olive came late, as if to get a whole effect of the affair at once; and her smile revealed Clara's failure to her, if she had not realized it before. She read there that the aristocratic and aesthetic additions which she had made to the guests Olive originally divined had not sufficed; the party remained a humbug. It had seemed absurd to invite anybody to meet two such little, unknown people as the Hubbards; and then, to avoid marking them as the subjects of the festivity by the precedence to be observed in going out to supper, she resolved to have tea served in the drawing-room, and to make it literally tea, with bread and butter, and some thin, ascetic cakes.
Olive arrived late, as if she wanted to absorb the entire atmosphere of the event all at once; her smile exposed Clara's failure to her, even if she hadn’t noticed it before. She understood that the fancy and artistic touches she had added to the gathering that Olive had originally sensed hadn't been enough; the party still felt like a sham. It seemed ridiculous to invite people to meet two insignificant, unknown individuals like the Hubbards. To avoid making them the center of attention during the supper, she decided to serve tea in the living room, and to keep it simple—with just tea, bread and butter, and some light, plain cakes.
However sharp he was in business, Mr. Witherby was socially a dull man; and his wife and daughter seemed to partake of his qualities by affinition and heredity. They tried to make something of Marcia, but they failed through their want of art. Mrs. Witherby, finding the wife of her husband's assistant in Miss Kingsbury's house, conceived an awe of her, which Marcia would not have known how to abate if she had imagined it; and in a little while the Witherby family segregated themselves among the photograph albums and the bricabrac, from which Clara seemed to herself to be fruitlessly detaching them the whole evening. The plainest daughter and the maiden aunt of the patrician families talked to each other with unavailing intervals of the painter and the author, and the radical clergyman and his wife were in danger of a conjugal devotion which society does not favor; the unfashionable sister of the fashionable artist conversed with the young tutor and the Japanese law-student whom he had asked leave to bring with him, and whose small, mouse-like eyes continually twinkled away in pursuit of the blonde beauty of his hostess. The widow was winningly attentive, with a tendency to be confidential, to everybody. The Italian could not disabuse himself of the notion that he was expected to be light and cheerful, and when the pupil of the Conservatory sang, he abandoned himself to his error, and clapped and cried bravo with unseemly vivacity. But he was restored to reason when the composer sat down at the piano and played, amid the hush that falls on society at such times, something from Beethoven, and again something of his own, which was so like Beethoven that Beethoven himself would not have known the difference.
However savvy he was in business, Mr. Witherby was pretty dull socially; and his wife and daughter seemed to share his traits by affinity and inheritance. They tried to shape Marcia into something more, but they failed due to their lack of finesse. Mrs. Witherby, upon meeting the wife of her husband's assistant at Miss Kingsbury's house, developed an awe for her, which Marcia wouldn’t have known how to dispel even if she’d realized it; and before long, the Witherby family separated themselves among the photo albums and knickknacks, from which Clara felt she was fruitlessly trying to detach them the whole evening. The plainest daughter and the unmarried aunt from the upper-class families chatted with each other amidst unproductive conversations about the painter and the author, while the progressive clergyman and his wife risked a marital connection that society doesn't endorse; the unfashionable sister of the trendy artist talked with the young tutor and the Japanese law student he had invited, who had small, mouse-like eyes that continuously sparkled as he admired the blonde beauty of his hostess. The widow was charmingly attentive and had a tendency to be overly friendly to everyone. The Italian couldn’t shake the idea that he was supposed to be light-hearted and cheerful, and when the Conservatory student sang, he got caught up in that belief, clapping and yelling bravo with inappropriate enthusiasm. But he came back to his senses when the composer sat down at the piano and played, amid the silence that falls on social gatherings at such moments, something by Beethoven, followed by something of his own that was so similar to Beethoven that even Beethoven himself wouldn't have known the difference.
Mr. Atherton and Halleck moved about among the guests, and did their best to second Clara's efforts for their encouragement; but it was useless. In the desperation which owns defeat, she resolved to devote herself for the rest of the evening to trying to make at least the Hubbards have a good time; and then, upon the dangerous theory, of which young and pretty hostesses cannot be too wary, that a wife is necessarily flattered by attentions to her husband, she devoted herself exclusively to Bartley, to whom she talked long and with a reckless liveliness of the events of his former stay in Boston. Their laughter and scraps of their reminiscence reached Marcia where she sat in a feint of listening to Ben Halleck's perfunctory account of his college days with her husband, till she could bear it no longer. She rose abruptly, and, going to him, she said that it was time to say good-night. “Oh, so soon!” cried Clara, mystified and a little scared at the look she saw on Marcia's face. “Good night,” she added coldly.
Mr. Atherton and Halleck moved around among the guests, trying their best to support Clara's efforts to keep everyone motivated; but it was pointless. In the despair that comes with defeat, she decided to focus for the rest of the evening on making sure at least the Hubbards enjoyed themselves. Then, based on the risky belief that a wife is usually pleased by attention given to her husband—something young and attractive hostesses should be cautious about—she concentrated entirely on Bartley, chatting animatedly about his previous visit to Boston. Their laughter and fragments of their shared memories reached Marcia, who was pretending to listen to Ben Halleck's dull story about his college days with her husband until she couldn’t take it any longer. She stood up abruptly, walked over to him, and said it was time to say good-night. “Oh, so soon!” Clara exclaimed, confused and slightly alarmed by the expression on Marcia's face. “Good night,” she added coldly.
The assembly hailed this first token of its disintegration with relief; it became a little livelier; there was a fleeting moment in which it seemed as if it might yet enjoy itself; but its chance passed; it crumbled rapidly away, and Clara was left looking humbly into Olive Halleck's pitiless eyes. “Thank you for a delightful evening, Miss Kingsbury! Congratulate you!” she mocked, with an unsparing laugh. “Such a success! But why didn't you give them something to eat, Clara? Those poor Hubbards have a one-o'clock dinner, and I famished for them. I wasn't hungry myself,—we have a two-o'clock dinner!”
The assembly greeted the first sign of its breakdown with relief; it became a bit more lively for a moment, almost seeming like it might actually enjoy itself; but that chance quickly passed. It fell apart fast, and Clara found herself looking humbly into Olive Halleck's unyielding eyes. “Thank you for a delightful evening, Miss Kingsbury! Congratulations!” she mocked, laughing without any mercy. “Such a success! But why didn’t you give them something to eat, Clara? Those poor Hubbards have a one-o'clock dinner, and I was starving for it. I wasn’t hungry myself,—we have a two-o'clock dinner!”
XXII.
Bartley came home elate from Miss Kingsbury's entertainment. It was something like the social success which he used to picture to himself. He had been flattered by the attention specially paid him, and he did not detect the imposition. He was half starved, but he meant to have up some cold meat and bottled beer, and talk it all over with Marcia.
Bartley came home excited from Miss Kingsbury's event. It was similar to the social success he used to imagine. He felt flattered by the special attention he received and didn't see through the deception. He was pretty hungry, but he planned to grab some cold meat and bottled beer and discuss everything with Marcia.
She did not seem inclined to talk it over on their way home, and when they entered their own door, she pushed in and ran up-stairs. “Why, where are you going, Marcia?” he called after her.
She didn't seem interested in talking about it on their way home, and when they got to their front door, she went inside and ran upstairs. “Hey, where are you going, Marcia?” he called after her.
“To bed!” she replied, closing the door after her with a crash of unmistakable significance.
“To bed!” she replied, shutting the door behind her with a crash that said it all.
Bartley stood a moment in the fury that tempted him to pursue her with a taunt, and then leave her to work herself out of the transport of senseless jealousy she had wrought herself into. But he set his teeth, and, full of inward cursing, he followed her up-stairs with a slow, dogged step. He took her in his arms without a word, and held her fast, while his anger changed to pity, and then to laughing. When it came to that, she put up her arms, which she had kept rigidly at her side, and laid them round his neck, and began softly to cry on his breast.
Bartley paused for a moment, feeling a surge of anger that tempted him to provoke her and then let her stew in her own irrational jealousy. But he clenched his teeth and, frustrated, followed her upstairs with a slow, determined step. Without saying a word, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, as his anger shifted to compassion, then to amusement. At that point, she lifted her arms, which she had kept stiffly at her sides, wrapped them around his neck, and began to softly cry on his chest.
“Oh, I'm not myself at all, any more!” she moaned penitently.
“Oh, I'm not myself at all anymore!” she groaned sadly.
“Then this is very improper—for me,” said Bartley.
“Then this is really inappropriate—for me,” said Bartley.
The helpless laughter broke through her lamentation, but she cried a little more to keep herself in countenance.
The helpless laughter interrupted her crying, but she cried a little more to maintain her composure.
“But I guess, from a previous acquaintance with the party's character, that it's really all you, Marcia. I don't blame you. Miss Kingsbury's hospitality has left me as hollow as if I'd had nothing to eat for a week; and I know you're perishing from inanition. Hence these tears.”
“But I think, from my past experience with the group's nature, that it’s really all you, Marcia. I don’t blame you. Miss Kingsbury’s hospitality has left me feeling as empty as if I hadn’t eaten for a week; and I know you’re suffering from the same lack. That’s why I’m crying.”
It delighted her to have him make fun of Miss Kingsbury's tea, and she lifted her head to let him see that she was laughing for pleasure now, before she turned away to dry her eyes.
It made her happy to hear him joke about Miss Kingsbury's tea, and she raised her head to show him that she was genuinely laughing now, before she turned away to wipe her eyes.
“Oh, poor fellow!” she cried. “I did pity you so when I saw those mean little slices of bread and butter coming round!”
“Oh, poor guy!” she exclaimed. “I really felt sorry for you when I saw those sad little slices of bread and butter being passed around!”
“Yes,” said Bartley, “I felt sorry myself. But don't speak of them any more, dearest.”
“Yes,” Bartley said, “I felt bad too. But please don't mention them anymore, my dear.”
“And I suppose,” pursued Marcia, “that all the time she was talking to you there, you were simply ravening.”
“And I guess,” Marcia continued, “that the whole time she was talking to you, you were just hungry for it.”
“I was casting lots in my own mind to see which of the company I should devour first.”
“I was figuring in my head which person I should go after first.”
His drollery appeared to Marcia the finest that ever was; she laughed and laughed again; when he made fun of the conjecturable toughness of the elderly aristocrat, she implored him to stop if he did not want to kill her. Marcia was not in the state in which woman best convinces her enemies of her fitness for empire, though she was charming in her silly happiness, and Bartley felt very glad that he had not yielded to his first impulse to deal savagely with her. “Come,” he said, “let us go out somewhere, and get some oysters.”
His humor seemed to Marcia to be the best there ever was; she laughed and laughed again. When he joked about the supposed toughness of the old aristocrat, she begged him to stop if he didn't want to kill her. Marcia wasn't in the mindset where a woman effectively proves her worthiness to her rivals for power, but she was delightful in her silly happiness, and Bartley felt really glad he hadn't given in to his first urge to be harsh with her. “Come on,” he said, “let's go out somewhere and get some oysters.”
She began at once to take out her ear-rings and loosen her hair. “No, I'll get something here in the house; I'm not very hungry. But you go, Bartley, and have a good supper, or you'll be sick to-morrow, and not fit to work. Go,” she added to his hesitating image in the glass, “I insist upon it. I won't have you stay.” His reflected face approached from behind; she turned hers a little, and their mirrored lips met over her shoulder. “Oh, how sweet you are, Bartley!” she murmured.
She immediately started to take off her earrings and let her hair down. “No, I’ll find something to eat here at home; I’m not that hungry. But you go, Bartley, and have a nice dinner, or you’ll feel awful tomorrow and won’t be able to work. Go,” she insisted to his hesitant reflection in the mirror, “I won’t let you stay.” His reflected face came closer from behind; she turned her head slightly, and their lips met in the mirror over her shoulder. “Oh, how sweet you are, Bartley!” she whispered.
“Yes, you will always find me obedient when commanded to go out and repair my wasted tissue.”
“Yes, you’ll always find me ready to obey when told to go out and fix my damaged tissue.”
“I don't mean that, dear,” she said softly. “I mean—your not quarrelling with me when I'm unreasonable. Why can't we always do so!”
“I don't mean that, dear,” she said softly. “I mean—why don’t you just let me know when I'm being unreasonable? Why can't we always handle it like that?”
“Well, you see,” said Bartley, “it throws the whole burden on the fellow in his senses. It doesn't require any great degree of self-sacrifice to fly off at a tangent, but it's rather a maddening spectacle to the party that holds on.”
“Well, you see,” said Bartley, “it puts all the pressure on the guy who's actually thinking clearly. It doesn't take much selflessness to go off on a whim, but it’s pretty frustrating to the person who’s trying to stay grounded.”
“Now I will show you,” said Marcia, “that I can be reasonable too: I shall let you go alone to make our party call on Miss Kingsbury.” She looked at him heroically.
“Now I’ll show you,” said Marcia, “that I can be reasonable too: I’ll let you go alone to make our party visit to Miss Kingsbury.” She looked at him with determination.
“Marcia,” said Bartley, “you're such a reasonable person when you're the most unreasonable, that I wonder I ever quarrel with you. I rather think I'll let you call on Miss Kingsbury alone. I shall suffer agonies of suspicion, but it will prove that I have perfect confidence in you.” He threw her a kiss from the door, and ran down the stairs. When he returned, an hour later, he found her waiting up for him. “Why, Marcia!” he exclaimed.
“Marcia,” Bartley said, “you’re so reasonable when you’re being the most unreasonable that I wonder why I ever argue with you. I think I’ll let you visit Miss Kingsbury by yourself. I’ll be in complete agony with suspicion, but it will show that I have total confidence in you.” He blew her a kiss from the door and dashed down the stairs. When he came back an hour later, he found her still waiting up for him. “Wow, Marcia!” he exclaimed.
“Oh! I just wanted to say that we will both go to call on her very soon. If I sent you, she might think I was mad, and I won't give her that satisfaction.”
“Oh! I just wanted to say that we will both visit her very soon. If I sent you, she might think I was crazy, and I won't give her that satisfaction.”
“Noble girl!” cried Bartley, with irony that pleased her better than praise. Women like to be understood, even when they try not to be understood.
“Noble girl!” Bartley exclaimed, with a hint of irony that she found more satisfying than compliments. Women appreciate being understood, even when they pretend they don’t want to be.
When Marcia went with Bartley to call, Miss Kingsbury received her with careful, perhaps anxious politeness, but made no further effort to take her up. Some of the people whom Marcia met at Miss Kingsbury's called; and the Witherbys came, father, mother, and daughter together; but between the evident fact that the Hubbards were poor, and the other evident fact that they moved in the best society, the Witherbys did not quite know what to do about them. They asked them to dinner, and Bartley went alone; Marcia was not well enough to go.
When Marcia went with Bartley to visit, Miss Kingsbury greeted her with careful, maybe anxious politeness, but didn't make any further effort to engage her. Some people Marcia met at Miss Kingsbury's stopped by; the Witherbys came as a family—father, mother, and daughter—but due to the clear fact that the Hubbards were poor and the other clear fact that they were part of the best society, the Witherbys weren’t sure how to handle them. They invited them to dinner, and Bartley went alone; Marcia wasn’t feeling well enough to attend.
He was very kind and tractable, now, and went whenever she bade him go without her, though tea at the Hallecks was getting to be an old story with him, and it was generally tea at the Hallecks to which she sent him. The Halleck ladies came faithfully to see her, and she got on very well with the two older sisters, who gave her all the kindness they could spare from their charities, and seemed pleased to have her so pretty and conjugal, though these things were far from them. But she was afraid of Olive at first, and disliked her as a friend of Miss Kingsbury. This rather attracted the odd girl. What she called Marcia's snubs enabled her to declare in her favor with a sense of disinterestedness, and to indulge her repugnance for Bartley with a good heart. She resented his odious good looks, and held it a shame that her mother should promote his visible tendency to stoutness by giving him such nice things for tea.
He was really nice and accommodating now, and went wherever she asked him to go without her, even though tea at the Hallecks was starting to feel like a routine for him, and it was usually tea at the Hallecks that she sent him to. The Halleck sisters came to see her regularly, and she got along well with the two older sisters, who gave her all the kindness they could spare from their charitable efforts and seemed happy to have her be so beautiful and married, even if those things were distant from their own lives. But she was initially afraid of Olive and disliked her because she was friends with Miss Kingsbury. This made the quirky girl more interested in her. What she referred to as Marcia's coldness allowed her to support her with a sense of fairness and to openly dislike Bartley. She resented his annoying good looks and thought it was shameful for her mother to encourage his obvious weight gain by giving him such nice treats for tea.
“Now, I like Mr. Hubbard,” said her mother placidly. “It's very kind of him to come to such plain folks as we are, whenever we ask him; now that his wife can't come, I know he does it because he likes us.”
“Now, I like Mr. Hubbard,” her mother said calmly. “It’s really nice of him to visit us simple folks whenever we invite him; since his wife can't come, I know he does it because he enjoys our company.”
“Oh, he comes for the eating,” said Olive, scornfully. Then another phase of her mother's remark struck her: “Why, mother!” she cried, “I do believe you think Bartley Hubbard's a distinguished man somehow!”
“Oh, he's just here for the food,” Olive said dismissively. Then another part of her mom's comment hit her: “Wait, mom!” she exclaimed, “I really think you believe Bartley Hubbard is somehow a distinguished guy!”
“Your father says it's very unusual for such a young man to be in a place like his. Mr. Witherby really leaves everything to him, he says.”
“Your dad says it's pretty rare for someone so young to be in a place like his. Mr. Witherby really relies on him, he says.”
“Well, I think he'd better not, then! The Events has got to be perfectly horrid, of late. It's full of murders and all uncleanness.”
“Well, I think he’d better not, then! The news has been absolutely awful lately. It’s full of murders and all kinds of disgusting stuff.”
“That seems to be the way with the papers, nowadays. Your father hears that the Events is making money.”
“That seems to be how things are with the papers these days. Your dad heard that Events is turning a profit.”
“Why, mother! What a corrupt old thing you are! I believe you've been bought up by that disgusting interview with father. Nestor of the Leather Interest! Father ought to have turned him out of doors. Well, this family is getting a little too good, for me! And Ben's almost as bad as any of you, of late,—I haven't a bit of influence with him any more. He seems determined to be friendlier with that person than ever; he's always trying to do him good,—I can see it, and it makes me sick. One thing I know: I'm going to stop Mr. Hubbard's calling me Olive. Impudent!”
“Why, Mom! What a corrupt old thing you are! I think you've been influenced by that awful talk with Dad. Nestor of the Leather Interest! Dad should have kicked him out. Well, this family is getting a little too good for me! And Ben's almost as bad as any of you lately—I don’t have any influence with him anymore. He seems set on being closer to that person than ever; he's always trying to help him—I can see it, and it makes me sick. One thing I know: I'm going to put a stop to Mr. Hubbard calling me Olive. How rude!”
Mrs. Halleck shifted her ground with the pretence which women use, even amongst themselves, of having remained steadfast. “He is a very good husband.”
Mrs. Halleck changed her position with the pretense that women often use, even with each other, of having stayed strong. “He’s a really good husband.”
“Oh, because he likes to be!” retorted her daughter. “Nothing is easier than to be a good husband.”
“Oh, because he likes to be!” her daughter shot back. “Nothing is easier than being a good husband.”
“Ah, my dear,” said Mrs. Halleck, “wait till you have tried.”
“Ah, my dear,” Mrs. Halleck said, “just wait until you give it a try.”
This made Olive laugh; but she answered with an argument that always had weight with her mother, “Ben doesn't think he's a good husband.”
This made Olive laugh, but she replied with a point that always resonated with her mom, “Ben doesn't believe he's a good husband.”
“What makes you think so, Olive?” asked her mother.
“What makes you think that, Olive?” her mother asked.
“I know he dislikes him intensely.”
“I know he really dislikes him.”
“Why, you just said yourself, dear, that he was friendlier with him than ever.”
“Why, you just said yourself, darling, that he was friendlier with him than ever.”
“Oh, that's nothing. The more he disliked him the kinder he would be to him.”
“Oh, that's no big deal. The more he disliked him, the nicer he would be to him.”
“That's true,” sighed her mother. “Did he ever say anything to you about him?”
“That's true,” her mother sighed. “Did he ever mention anything to you about himself?”
“No,” cried Olive, shortly; “he never speaks of people he doesn't like.”
“No,” Olive said briefly; “he never talks about people he doesn't like.”
The mother returned, with logical severity, “All that doesn't prove that Ben thinks he isn't a good husband.”
The mother replied, with a controlled seriousness, “That doesn't show that Ben thinks he's not a good husband.”
“He dislikes him. Do you believe a bad man can be a good husband, then?”
“He doesn't like him. Do you think a bad man can be a good husband, then?”
“No,” Mrs. Halleck admitted, as if confronted with indisputable proof of Bartley's wickedness.
“No,” Mrs. Halleck admitted, as if faced with undeniable proof of Bartley's evil.
In the mean time the peace between Bartley and Marcia continued unbroken, and these days of waiting, of suffering, of hoping and dreading, were the happiest of their lives. He did his best to be patient with her caprices and fretfulness, and he was at least manfully comforting and helpful, and instant in atonement for every failure. She said a thousand times that she should die without him; and when her time came, he thought that she was going to die before he could tell her of his sorrow for all that he had ever done to grieve her. He did not tell her, though she lived to give him the chance; but he took her and her baby both into his arms, with tears of as much fondness as ever a man shed. He even began his confession; but she said, “Hush! you never did a wrong thing yet that I didn't drive you to.” Pale and faint, she smiled joyfully upon him, and put her hand on his head when he hid his face against hers on the pillow, and put her lips against his cheek. His heart was full; he was grateful for the mercy that had spared him; he was so strong in his silent repentance that he felt like a good man.
In the meantime, the peace between Bartley and Marcia stayed unbroken, and these days of waiting, suffering, hoping, and dreading were the happiest of their lives. He tried his best to be patient with her mood swings and irritability, and he was always there to comfort and help her, quickly making up for any mistakes. She said a thousand times that she wouldn't survive without him; and when the moment came, he feared she might pass away before he could express his sorrow for all the times he had hurt her. He never told her, even though she lived long enough to give him that chance; instead, he held her and their baby in his arms, shedding tears filled with as much love as any man ever has. He even started to confess, but she interrupted him, saying, "Hush! You never did anything wrong that I didn't push you into." Pale and weak, she smiled warmly at him and placed her hand on his head when he buried his face against hers on the pillow and kissed his cheek. His heart was full; he was grateful for the grace that had saved him; he felt so strong in his silent remorse that he believed he was a good man.
“Bartley,” she said, “I'm going to ask a great favor of you.”
“Bartley,” she said, “I’m going to ask a huge favor from you.”
“There's nothing that I can do that I shall think a favor, darling!” he cried, lifting his face to look into hers.
“There's nothing I can do that I would consider a favor, darling!” he exclaimed, raising his face to meet hers.
“Write for mother to come. I want her!”
“Write for Mom to come. I want her!”
“Why, of course.” Marcia continued to look at him, and kept the quivering hold she had laid of his hand when he raised his head. “Was that all?”
“Of course.” Marcia kept looking at him and maintained her gentle grip on his hand when he lifted his head. “Is that it?”
She was silent, and he added, “I will ask your father to come with her.”
She stayed quiet, and he said, “I’ll ask your dad to come with her.”
She hid her face for the space of one sob. “I wanted you to offer.”
She covered her face for a moment of crying. “I wanted you to ask.”
“Why, of course! of course!” he replied.
“Definitely! Of course!” he replied.
She did not acknowledge his magnanimity directly, but she lifted the coverlet and showed him the little head on her arm, and the little creased and crumpled face.
She didn’t directly acknowledge his kindness, but she lifted the blanket and showed him the small head on her arm, and the tiny, wrinkled face.
“Pretty?” she asked. “Bring me the letter before you send it.—Yes, that is just right,—perfect!” she sighed, when he came back and read the letter to her; and she fell away to happy sleep.
“Pretty?” she asked. “Bring me the letter before you send it.—Yes, that’s just right,—perfect!” she sighed when he came back and read the letter to her; and she drifted off into happy sleep.
Her father answered that he would come with her mother as soon as he got the better of a cold he had taken. It was now well into the winter, and the journey must have seemed more formidable in Equity than in Boston. But Bartley was not impatient of his father-in-law's delay, and he set himself cheerfully about consoling Marcia for it. She stole her white, thin hand into his, and now and then gave it a little pressure to accent the points she made in talking.
Her father said he would come with her mother as soon as he was over the cold he had caught. It was deep into winter now, and the journey must have felt more challenging in Equity than in Boston. But Bartley wasn't annoyed by his father-in-law's delay; instead, he cheerfully focused on comforting Marcia about it. She slipped her slender, pale hand into his and occasionally squeezed it slightly to emphasize the points she made while talking.
“Father was the first one I thought of—after you, Bartley. It seems to me as if baby came half to show me how unfeeling I had been to him. Of course, I'm not sorry I ran away and asked you to take me back, for I couldn't have had you if I hadn't done it; but I never realized before how cruel it was to father. He always made such a pet of me; and I know that he thought he was acting for the best.”
“Dad was the first person I thought of—after you, Bartley. It feels like the baby came to show me how cold I had been to him. I’m not sorry I ran away and asked you to bring me back because I wouldn’t have had you if I hadn’t done it; but I never really understood before how hurtful it was to Dad. He always spoiled me, and I know he believed he was doing what was best.”
“I knew that you were,” said Bartley, fervently.
“I knew that you were,” Bartley said passionately.
“What sweet things you always say to me!” she murmured. “But don't you see, Bartley, that I didn't think enough of him? That's what baby seems to have come to teach me.” She pulled a little away on the pillow, so as to fix him more earnestly with her eyes. “If baby should behave so to you when she grew up, I should hate her!”
“What sweet things you always say to me!” she murmured. “But don’t you see, Bartley, that I didn’t think enough of him? That’s what the baby seems to have come to teach me.” She shifted slightly on the pillow to look at him more intently. “If the baby treated you like that when she grows up, I would hate her!”
He laughed, and said, “Well, perhaps your mother hates you.”
He laughed and said, “Well, maybe your mom hates you.”
“No, they don't—either of them,” answered Marcia, with a sigh. “And I behaved very stiffly and coldly with him when he came up to see me,—more than I had any need to. I did it for your sake; but he didn't mean any harm to you, he just wanted to make sure that I was safe and well.”
“No, they don't—either of them,” Marcia replied with a sigh. “And I was really stiff and cold with him when he came to visit me—more than I needed to be. I did it for you; but he didn’t mean any harm to you, he just wanted to make sure I was safe and okay.”
“Oh, that's all right, Marsh.”
“Oh, that's fine, Marsh.”
“Yes, I know. But what if he had died!”
“Yeah, I know. But what if he had actually died?”
“Well, he didn't die,” said Bartley, with a smile. “And you've corresponded with them regularly, ever since, and you know they've been getting along all right. And it's going to be altogether different from this out,” he added, leaning back a little weary with a matter in which he could not be expected to take a very cordial interest.
“Well, he didn't die,” Bartley said with a smile. “And you've stayed in touch with them regularly since then, and you know they've been doing okay. It's going to be completely different from this,” he added, leaning back a bit tired with a situation he couldn’t be expected to care too much about.
“Truly?” she asked, with one of the eagerest of those hand-pressures.
“Really?” she asked, with one of the most eager hand squeezes.
“It won't be my fault if it isn't,” he replied, with a yawn.
“It won't be my fault if it doesn't work out,” he replied, yawning.
“How good you are, Bartley!” she said, with an admiring look, as if it were the goodness of God she was praising.
“How great you are, Bartley!” she said, with an admiring look, as if she were praising the goodness of God.
Bartley released himself, and went to the new crib, in which the baby lay, and with his hands in his pockets stood looking down at it with a curious smile.
Bartley freed himself and walked over to the new crib where the baby was lying, and with his hands in his pockets, he stood looking down at it with a curious smile.
“Is it pretty?” she asked, envious of his bird's-eye view of the baby.
“Is it beautiful?” she asked, envious of his bird's-eye view of the baby.
“Not definitively so,” he answered. “I dare say she will smooth out in time; but she seems to be considerably puckered yet.”
“Not definitely,” he replied. “I bet she will calm down eventually; but she still seems pretty tense.”
“Well,” returned Marcia, with forced resignation, “I shouldn't let any one else say so.”
“Well,” Marcia replied, with a reluctant acceptance, “I shouldn’t let anyone else say that.”
Her husband set up a soft, low, thoughtful whistle. “I'll tell you what, Marcia,” he said presently. “Suppose we name this baby after your father?”
Her husband let out a soft, low whistle. “You know what, Marcia?” he said after a moment. “How about we name this baby after your dad?”
She lifted herself on her elbow, and stared at him as if he must be making fun of her. “Why, how could we?” she demanded. Squire Gaylord's parents had called his name Flavius Josephus, in a superstition once cherished by old-fashioned people, that the Jewish historian was somehow a sacred writer.
She propped herself up on her elbow and looked at him like he was joking. “How could we?” she asked. Squire Gaylord's parents named him Flavius Josephus because they believed, in a superstition held by old-fashioned people, that the Jewish historian was some kind of sacred writer.
“We can't name her Josephus, but we can call her Flavia,” said Bartley. “And if she makes up her mind to turn out a blonde, the name will just fit. Flavia,—it's a very pretty name.” He looked at his wife, who suddenly turned her face down on the pillow.
“We can't name her Josephus, but we can call her Flavia,” Bartley said. “And if she decides to be a blonde, the name will suit her perfectly. Flavia—it's a really pretty name.” He glanced at his wife, who suddenly buried her face in the pillow.
“Bartley Hubbard,” she cried, “you're the best man in the world!”
“Bartley Hubbard,” she exclaimed, “you're the best guy in the world!”
“Oh, no! Only the second-best,” suggested Bartley.
“Oh, no! Just the second-best,” suggested Bartley.
In these days they took their fill of the delight of young fatherhood and motherhood. After its morning bath Bartley was called in, and allowed to revere the baby's mottled and dimpled back as it lay face downward on the nurse's lap, feebly wiggling its arms and legs, and responding with ineffectual little sighs and gurgles to her acceptable rubbings with warm flannel. When it was fully dressed, and its long clothes pulled snugly down, and its limp person stiffened into something tenable, he was suffered to take it into his arms, and to walk the room with it. After all, there is not much that a man can actually do with a small baby, either for its pleasure or his own, and Barkley's usefulness had its strict limitations. He was perhaps most beneficial when he put the child in its mother's arms, and sat down beside the bed, and quietly talked, while Marcia occasionally put up a slender hand, and smoothed its golden brown hair, bending her neck over to look at it where it lay, with the action of a mother bird. They examined with minute interest the details of the curious little creature: its tiny finger-nails, fine and sharp, and its small queer fist doubled so tight, and closing on one's finger like a canary's claw on a perch; the absurdity of its foot, the absurdity of its toes, the ridiculous inadequacy of its legs and arms to the work ordinarily expected of legs and arms, made them laugh. They could not tell yet whether its eyes would be black like Marcia's, or blue like Bartley's; those long lashes had the sweep of hers, but its mop of hair, which made it look so odd and old, was more like his in color.
These days, they were fully enjoying the joys of being young parents. After its morning bath, Bartley was invited in to admire the baby's patchy and dimpled back as it lay face down on the nurse's lap, weakly moving its arms and legs and giving small sighs and gurgles in response to her gentle rubs with warm flannel. Once dressed, with its long clothes pulled snugly down and its limp little body propped up into something more manageable, he was allowed to take it in his arms and walk around the room with it. After all, there’s not much a man can really do with a small baby, for either its enjoyment or his own, and Bartley’s usefulness had its clear limits. He was perhaps most helpful when he placed the child in its mother’s arms and sat beside the bed, quietly chatting while Marcia occasionally reached out with her slender hand to smooth its golden-brown hair, leaning her neck to look at it where it lay, like a mother bird. They examined with great interest the details of the curious little being: its tiny fingernails, fine and sharp, and its small, peculiar fist tightly curled around one’s finger like a canary’s claw on a perch; the odd shape of its foot, the strangeness of its toes, and the amusing inadequacy of its legs and arms for the tasks usually expected of them made them laugh. They couldn’t yet determine whether its eyes would be black like Marcia’s or blue like Bartley’s; those long lashes had her sweep, but its mop of hair, which made it look so unusual and old, resembled his in color.
“She will be a dark-eyed blonde,” Bartley decided.
“She’s going to be a dark-eyed blonde,” Bartley decided.
“Is that nice?” asked Marcia.
“Is that nice?” Marcia asked.
“With the telescope sight, they're warranted to kill at five hundred yards.”
“Using the telescope sight, they’re guaranteed to hit and kill at five hundred yards.”
“Oh, for shame, Bartley! To talk of baby's ever killing!”
“Oh, come on, Bartley! To say that babies are ever harmful!”
“Why, that's what they all come to. It's what you came to yourself.”
“Why, that's what everyone ends up wanting. It's what you wanted too.”
“Yes, I know. But it's quite another thing with baby.” She began to mumble it with her lips, and to talk baby-talk to it. In their common interest in this puppet they already called each other papa and mamma.
“Yes, I know. But it's a completely different story with the baby.” She started to mumble it with her lips and began talking in baby talk to it. In their mutual interest in this puppet, they already referred to each other as papa and mamma.
Squire Gaylord came alone, and when Marcia greeted him with “Why, father! Where's mother?” he asked, “Did you expect her? Well, I guess your mother's feeling rather too old for such long winter journeys. You know she don't go out a great deal I guess she expects your family down there in the summer.”
Squire Gaylord came alone, and when Marcia greeted him with “Wow, Dad! Where's Mom?” he asked, “Did you think she’d come? Well, I guess your mom is feeling a bit too old for those long winter trips. You know she doesn’t go out much I guess she’s expecting your family to visit her down there in the summer.”
The old man was considerably abashed by the baby when it was put into his arms, and being required to guess its name he naturally failed.
The old man was quite embarrassed by the baby when it was handed to him, and when asked to guess its name, he naturally couldn’t.
“Flavia!” cried Marcia, joyfully. “Bartley named it after you.”
“Flavia!” Marcia exclaimed happily. “Bartley named it after you.”
This embarrassed the Squire still more. “Is that so?” he asked, rather sheepishly. “Well, it's quite a compliment.”
This made the Squire even more embarrassed. “Is that true?” he asked, somewhat shyly. “Well, that's quite a compliment.”
Marcia repeated this to her husband as evidence that her father was all right now. Bartley and the Squire were in fact very civil to each other; and Bartley paid the old man many marked attentions. He took him to the top of the State House, and walked him all about the city, to show him its points of interest, and introduced him to such of his friends as they met, though the Squire's dresscoat, whether fully revealed by the removal of his surtout, or betraying itself below the skirt of the latter, was a trial to a fellow of Bartley's style. He went with his father-in-law to see Mr. Warren in Jefferson Scattering Batkins, and the Squire grimly appreciated the burlesque of the member from Cranberry Centre; but he was otherwise not a very amusable person, and off his own ground he was not conversable, while he refused to betray his impressions of many things that Bartley expected to astonish him. The Events editorial rooms had no apparent effect upon him, though they were as different from most editorial dens as tapestry carpets, black-walnut desks, and swivel chairs could make them. Mr. Witherby covered him with urbanities and praises of Bartley that ought to have delighted him as a father-in-law; but apparently the great man of the Events was but a strange variety of the type with which he was familiar in the despised country editors. He got on better with Mr. Atherton, who was of a man's profession. The Squire wore his hat throughout their interview, and everywhere except at table and in bed; and as soon as he rose front either, he put it on.
Marcia told her husband this as proof that her dad was doing well now. Bartley and the Squire were actually quite polite to each other, and Bartley showed a lot of attention to the old man. He took him to the top of the State House and walked him around the city to show him its landmarks, introducing him to friends they ran into, even though the Squire's formal coat, whether it was fully exposed or just peeking out from under his overcoat, was a bit of a challenge for someone like Bartley. He took his father-in-law to see Mr. Warren in Jefferson Scattering Batkins, and the Squire found the performance of the representative from Cranberry Centre amusing, but he wasn't easily entertained otherwise, and he didn’t talk much outside of his comfort zone. He also refused to share his thoughts on many things that Bartley hoped would impress him. The Events editorial offices didn’t seem to faze him, even though they were quite different from the usual editorial workspaces, decked out with carpeting, black-walnut desks, and swivel chairs. Mr. Witherby showered him with compliments and praises of Bartley that should have pleased him as a father-in-law; however, he seemed to view the prominent figure at Events as just a different version of the country editors he looked down on. He got along better with Mr. Atherton, who had a more traditional profession. The Squire kept his hat on throughout their meeting, only removing it at the table and in bed; as soon as he stood up from either, he put it back on.
Bartley tried to impress him with such novel traits of cosmopolitan life as a table d'hôte dinner at a French restaurant; but the Squire sat through the courses, as if his barbarous old appetite had satisfied itself in that manner all his life. After that, Bartley practically gave him up; he pleaded his newspaper work, and left the Squire to pass the time as he could in the little house on Clover Street, where he sat half a day at a stretch in the parlor, with his hat on, reading the newspapers, his legs sprawled out towards the grate. In this way he probably reconstructed for himself some image of his wonted life in his office at home, and was for the time at peace; but otherwise he was very restless, except when he was with Marcia. He was as fond of her in his way as he had ever been, and though he apparently cared nothing for the baby, he enjoyed Marcia's pride in it; and he bore to have it thrust upon him with the surly mildness of an old dog receiving children's caresses. He listened with the same patience to all her celebrations of Bartley, which were often tedious enough, for she bragged of him constantly, of his smartness and goodness, and of the great success that had crowned the merit of both in him.
Bartley tried to impress him with some trendy aspects of city life, like a table d'hôte dinner at a French restaurant; but the Squire sat through the meal as if he’d been satisfied that way his whole life. After that, Bartley pretty much gave up on him; he mentioned his newspaper work and left the Squire to entertain himself in the little house on Clover Street, where he would sit for half the day in the parlor with his hat on, reading the newspapers, his legs stretched out toward the fireplace. This way, he probably created some kind of image of his usual life in his home office and felt at ease for a bit; but otherwise, he was very restless, except when he was with Marcia. He was as fond of her as ever, and even though he seemed uninterested in the baby, he appreciated Marcia’s pride in it; he accepted the baby being pushed onto him with the grumpy gentleness of an old dog getting petted by children. He listened with the same patience to all her stories about Bartley, which could get pretty tiresome since she constantly bragged about his intelligence, kindness, and the great success that had come from both.
Mr. Halleck had called upon the Squire the morning after his arrival, and brought Marcia a note from his wife, offering to have her father stay with them if she found herself too much crowded at this eventful time. “There! That is just the sort of people the Hallecks are!” she cried, showing the letter to her father. “And to think of our not going near them for months and mouths after we came to Boston, for fear they were stuck up! But Bartley is always just so proud. Now you must go right in, father, and not keep Mr. Halleck waiting. Give me your hat, or you'll be sure to wear it in the parlor.” She made him stoop down to let her brush his coat-collar a little. “There! Now you look something like.”
Mr. Halleck had visited the Squire the morning after he arrived and brought Marcia a note from his wife, offering to have her father stay with them if she felt too overwhelmed at this busy time. “See! That’s exactly the kind of people the Hallecks are!” she exclaimed, showing the letter to her father. “And to think we didn’t go near them for months after we moved to Boston, worried they were snobbish! But Bartley is always just so proud. Now you need to go in right away, Dad, and not keep Mr. Halleck waiting. Hand me your hat, or you’ll definitely wear it in the living room.” She had him bend down so she could tidy up his coat collar a bit. “There! Now you look somewhat presentable.”
Squire Gaylord had never received a visit except on business in his life, and such a thing as one man calling socially upon another, as women did, was unknown to the civilization of Equity. But, as he reported to Marcia, he got along with Mr. Halleck; and he got along with the whole family when he went with Bartley to tea, upon the invitation Mr. Halleck made him that morning. Probably it appeared to him an objectless hospitality; but he spent as pleasant an evening as he could hope to spend with his hat off and in a frock-coat, which he wore as a more ceremonious garment than the dress-coat of his every-day life. He seemed to take a special liking to Olive Halleck, whose habit of speaking her mind with vigor and directness struck him as commendable. It was Olive who made the time pass for him; and as the occasion was not one for personal sarcasm or question of the Christian religion, her task in keeping the old pagan out of rather abysmal silences must have had its difficulties.
Squire Gaylord had never had a visitor except for business in his entire life, and the idea of one man socially calling on another, like women did, was unheard of in the culture of Equity. However, as he told Marcia, he got along well with Mr. Halleck, and he got along with the whole family when he went with Bartley to tea, after Mr. Halleck invited him that morning. It probably seemed like pointless hospitality to him, but he had as nice an evening as he could hope for, with his hat off and wearing a frock coat, which he considered more formal than the everyday dress coat. He seemed to take a special liking to Olive Halleck, whose straightforward and spirited way of expressing herself he found admirable. It was Olive who kept him engaged; and since the occasion wasn't suitable for personal jabs or discussions about Christianity, her job of keeping the old pagan out of some pretty deep silences must have been challenging.
“What did you talk about?” asked Marcia, requiring an account of his enjoyment from him the next morning, after Bartley had gone down to his work.
“What did you talk about?” Marcia asked, wanting to hear all about his enjoyment from the night before the next morning, after Bartley had gone to work.
“Mostly about you, I guess,” said the Squire, with a laugh. “There was a large sandy-haired young woman there—”
“Mostly about you, I suppose,” said the Squire with a laugh. “There was a tall young woman with sandy hair there—”
“Miss Kingsbury,” said Marcia, with vindictive promptness. Her eyes kindled, and she began to grow rigid under the coverlet. “Whom did she talk with?”
“Miss Kingsbury,” Marcia said sharply, her eyes lighting up as she tensed under the blanket. “Who did she talk to?”
“Well, she talked a little with me; but she talked most of the time to the young man. She engaged to him?”
“Well, she chatted a bit with me, but she spent most of the time talking to the young man. Is she engaged to him?”
“No,” said Marcia, relaxing. “She's a great friend of the whole family. I don't know what they meant by telling you it was to be just a family party, when they were going to have strangers in,” she pouted.
“No,” Marcia said, calming down. “She’s a good friend of the whole family. I don’t get why they told you it was just going to be a family party when they were planning to have strangers over,” she said with a pout.
“Perhaps they didn't count her.”
"Maybe they didn't include her."
“No.” But Marcia's pleasure in the affair was tainted, and she began to talk of other things.
“No.” But Marcia's enjoyment of the situation was spoiled, and she started talking about other things.
Her father stayed nearly a week, and they all found it rather a long week. After showing him her baby, and satisfying herself that he and Bartley were on good terms again, there was not much left for Marcia. Bartley had been banished to the spare room by the presence of the nurse; and he gave up his bed there to the Squire, and slept on a cot in the unfurnished attic room; the cook and a small girl got in to help, had the other. The house that had once seemed so vast was full to bursting.
Her father stayed for almost a week, and they all found it to be quite a long week. After introducing her baby to him and ensuring that he and Bartley were on good terms again, there wasn't much left for Marcia to do. Bartley had been pushed into the spare room because of the nurse's presence; he gave up his bed for the Squire and ended up sleeping on a cot in the empty attic room. The cook and a little girl came in to help, so they took the other room. The house that once seemed so spacious was now crowded.
“I never knew how little it was till I saw your father coming down stairs,” said Bartley. “He's too tall for it. When he sits on the sofa, and stretches out his legs, his boots touch the mop-board on the other side of the room. Fact!”
“I never realized how small it was until I saw your dad coming down the stairs,” said Bartley. “He's too tall for it. When he sits on the couch and stretches out his legs, his boots touch the baseboard on the other side of the room. Seriously!”
“He won't stay over Sunday,” began Marcia, with a rueful smile.
“He's not going to stay over on Sunday,” Marcia said with a sad smile.
“Why, Marcia, you don't think I want him to go!”
“Why, Marcia, you don't really think I want him to leave!”
“No, you're as good as can be about it. But I hope he won't stay over Sunday.”
“No, you're doing great about it. But I hope he won't stay over Sunday.”
“Haven't you enjoyed his visit?” asked Bartley.
“Haven't you enjoyed his visit?” Bartley asked.
“Oh, yes, I've enjoyed it.” The tears came into her eyes. “I've made it all up with father; and he doesn't feel hard to me. But, Bartley—Sit down, dear, here on the bed!” She took his hand and gently pulled him down. “I see more and more that father and mother can never be what they used to be to me,—that you're all the world to me. Yes, my life is broken off from theirs forever. Could anything break it off from yours? You'll always be patient with me, won't you? and remember that I'd always rather be good when I'm behaving the worst?”
“Oh, yes, I’ve really enjoyed it.” Tears filled her eyes. “I’ve made up with Dad; he doesn’t hold anything against me. But, Bartley—Sit down, sweetie, here on the bed!” She took his hand and gently pulled him down. “I realize more and more that Dad and Mom can never be what they used to be for me—you're everything to me. Yes, my life is completely separate from theirs now. Could anything ever separate me from you? You'll always be patient with me, right? And remember that I’d always prefer to be good, even when I’m at my worst?”
He rose, and went over to the crib, and kissed the head of their little girl. “Ask Flavia,” he said from the door.
He got up, went over to the crib, and kissed their little girl’s head. “Ask Flavia,” he said from the door.
“Bartley!” she cried, in utter fondness, as he vanished from her happy eyes.
“Bartley!” she exclaimed, with complete affection, as he disappeared from her joyful sight.
The next morning they heard the Squire moving about in his room, and he was late in coming down to breakfast, at which he was ordinarily so prompt. “He's packing,” said Marcia, sadly. “It's dreadful to be willing to have him go!”
The next morning they heard the Squire moving around in his room, and he was late getting down to breakfast, which he usually did on time. “He's packing,” Marcia said sadly. “It's terrible to be okay with him leaving!”
Bartley went out and met him at his door, bag in hand. “Hollo!” he cried, and made a decent show of surprise and regret.
Bartley stepped outside and greeted him at the door, bag in hand. “Hey!” he exclaimed, putting on a good act of surprise and regret.
“M-yes!” said the old man, as they went down stairs. “I've made out a visit. But I'm an old fellow, and I ain't easy away from home. I shall tell Mis' Gaylord how you're gettin' along, and she'll be pleased to hear it. Yes, she'll be pleased to hear it. I guess I shall get off on the ten-o'clock train.”
“M-yes!” said the old man as they went downstairs. “I’ve planned a visit. But I’m an old guy, and I don’t like being away from home. I’ll let Ms. Gaylord know how you’re doing, and she’ll be happy to hear it. Yeah, she’ll be happy to hear it. I think I’ll catch the ten o'clock train.”
The conversation between Bartley and his father-in-law was perfunctory. Men who have dealt so plainly with each other do not assume the conventional urbanities in their intercourse without effort. They had both been growing more impatient of the restraint; they could not have kept it up much longer.
The conversation between Bartley and his father-in-law was routine. Men who have been straightforward with each other don’t easily revert to superficial politeness without trying. They had both been growing more impatient with the formality; they couldn’t have maintained it much longer.
“Well, I suppose it's natural you should want to be home again, but I can't understand how any one can want to go back to Equity when he has the privilege of staying in Boston.”
“Well, I guess it makes sense that you'd want to be home again, but I can't get how anyone would want to go back to Equity when they have the option to stay in Boston.”
“Boston will do for a young man,” said the Squire, “but I'm too old for it. The city cramps me; it's too tight a fit; and yet I can't seem to find myself in it.”
“Boston is good for a young man,” said the Squire, “but I'm too old for it. The city feels restrictive; it's too small for me; and yet I can't figure out where I belong in it.”
He suffered from the loss of identity which is a common affliction with country people coming to town. The feeling that they are of no special interest to any of the thousands they meet bewilders and harasses them; after the searching neighborhood of village life, the fact that nobody would meddle in their most intimate affairs if they could, is a vague distress. The Squire not only experienced this, but, after reigning so long as the censor of morals and religion in Equity, it was a deprivation for him to pass a whole week without saying a bitter thing to any one. He was tired of the civilities that smoothed him down on every side.
He struggled with a loss of identity, which is something that often happens to rural folks when they move to the city. The sense that they aren't particularly interesting to any of the thousands of people they encounter confuses and frustrates them; after the close-knit nature of village life, the reality that nobody would interfere in their personal matters even if they could is a vague source of discomfort. The Squire felt this acutely; after being the moral and religious authority in Equity for so long, it was hard for him to go an entire week without saying something sharp to anyone. He was fed up with the polite interactions that smoothed over all his rough edges.
“Well, if you must go,” said Bartley, “I'll order a hack.”
“Well, if you really have to go,” Bartley said, “I’ll call a cab.”
“I guess I can walk to the depot,” returned the old man.
“I guess I can walk to the station,” replied the old man.
“Oh, no, you can't.” Bartley drove to the station with him, and they bade each other adieu with a hand-shake. They were no longer enemies, but they liked each other less than ever.
“Oh, no, you can't.” Bartley drove him to the station, and they said goodbye with a handshake. They were no longer enemies, but they liked each other less than ever.
“See you in Equity next summer, I suppose?” suggested the Squire.
“See you in Equity next summer, I guess?” the Squire suggested.
“So Marcia says,” replied Bartley. “Well, take care of yourself.—You confounded, tight-fisted old woodchuck!” he added under his breath, for the Squire had allowed him to pay the hack fare.
“So Marcia says,” Bartley replied. “Well, take care of yourself.—You damn, stingy old woodchuck!” he added under his breath, since the Squire had made him pay for the cab fare.
He walked home, composing variations on his parting malison, to find that the Squire had profited by his brief absence while ordering the hack, to leave with Marcia a silver cup, knife, fork, and spoon, which Olive Halleck had helped him choose, for the baby. In the cup was a check for five hundred dollars. The Squire was embarrassed in presenting the gifts, and when Marcia turned upon him with, “Now, look here, father, what do you mean?” he was at a loss how to explain.
He walked home, coming up with different versions of his farewell curse, to find that the Squire had taken advantage of his brief absence while ordering the cab, to leave Marcia a silver cup, knife, fork, and spoon, which Olive Halleck had helped him pick out for the baby. Inside the cup was a check for five hundred dollars. The Squire felt awkward presenting the gifts, and when Marcia confronted him with, “Now, look here, Dad, what do you mean?” he didn’t know how to explain.
“Well, it's what I always meant to do for you.”
“Well, it's what I always intended to do for you.”
“Baby's things are all right,” said Marcia. “But I'm not going to let Bartley take any money from you, unless you think as well of him as I do, and say so, right out.”
“Baby's stuff is fine,” Marcia said. “But I'm not going to let Bartley take any money from you unless you feel the same way about him as I do and say it clearly.”
The Squire laughed. “You couldn't quite expect me to do that, could you?”
The Squire laughed. “You can't seriously expect me to do that, right?”
“No, of course not. But what I mean is, do you think now that I did right to marry him?”
“No, of course not. But what I mean is, do you think now that I made the right choice by marrying him?”
“Oh, you're all right, Marcia. I'm glad you're getting along so well.”
“Oh, you're doing great, Marcia. I'm happy to hear you're getting along so well.”
“No, no! Is Bartley all right?”
“No, no! Is Bartley alright?”
The Squire laughed again, and rubbed his chin in enjoyment of her persistence. “You can't expect me to own up to everything all at once.”
The Squire laughed again and rubbed his chin, enjoying her persistence. “You can't expect me to admit to everything all at once.”
“So you see, Bartley,” said Marcia, in repeating these words to him, “it was quite a concession.”
“So you see, Bartley,” Marcia said as she repeated these words to him, “it was a pretty big concession.”
“Well, I don't know about the concession, but I guess there's no doubt about the check,” replied Bartley.
“Well, I don’t know about the concession, but I guess there’s no doubt about the check,” replied Bartley.
“Oh, don't say that, dear!” protested his wife. “I think father was pleased with his visit every way. I know he's been anxious about me, all the time; and yet it was a good deal for him to do, after what he had said, to come down here and as much as take it all back. Can't you look at it from his side?”
“Oh, don’t say that, dear!” his wife protested. “I think Dad was happy with his visit in every way. I know he’s been worried about me the whole time; and yet, it was a big deal for him to come down here and basically take it all back after what he said. Can’t you see it from his perspective?”
“Oh, I dare say it was a dose,” Bartley admitted. The money had set several things in a better light. “If all the people that have abused me would take it back as handsomely as your father has,”—he held the check up,—“why, I wish there were twice as many of them.”
“Oh, I guess it was a good dose,” Bartley admitted. The money had made several things look better. “If all the people who have mistreated me would apologize as generously as your dad has,”—he held the check up,—“then I wish there were twice as many of them.”
She laughed for pleasure in his joke. “I think father was impressed by everything about us,—beginning with baby,” she said, proudly.
She laughed at his joke, clearly enjoying it. “I think Dad was impressed by everything about us, starting with the baby,” she said, proudly.
“Well, he kept his impressions to himself.”
“Well, he kept his thoughts to himself.”
“Oh, that's nothing but his way. He never was demonstrative,—like me.”
“Oh, that's just how he is. He was never the expressive type—unlike me.”
“No, he has his emotions under control,—not to say under lock and key,—not to add, in irons.”
“No, he has his emotions under control—not to mention locked up—not to add, in chains.”
Bartley went on to give some instances of the Squire's fortitude when apparently tempted to express pleasure or interest in his Boston experiences.
Bartley went on to share some examples of the Squire's strength when he seemed tempted to show enjoyment or curiosity about his experiences in Boston.
They both undeniably felt freer now that he was gone. Bartley stayed longer than he ought from his work, in tacit celebration of the Squire's departure, and they were very merry together; but when he left her, Marcia called for her baby, and, gathering it close to her heart, sighed over it, “Poor father! poor father!”
They both definitely felt more free now that he was gone. Bartley lingered longer than he should have at work, quietly celebrating the Squire's departure, and they had a great time together; but when he left, Marcia called for her baby, held it close to her heart, and sighed, “Poor dad! poor dad!”
XXIII.
When the spring opened, Bartley pushed Flavia about the sunny pavements in a baby carriage, while Marcia paced alongside, looking in under the calash top from time to time, arranging the bright afghan, and twitching the little one's lace hood into place. They never noticed that other perambulators were pushed by Irish nurse-girls or French bonnes; they had paid somewhat more than they ought for theirs, and they were proud of it merely as a piece of property. It was rather Bartley's ideal, as it is that of most young American fathers, to go out with his wife and baby in that way; he liked to have his friends see him; and he went out every afternoon he could spare. When he could not go, Marcia went alone. Mrs. Halleck had given her a key to the garden, and on pleasant mornings she always found some of the family there, when she pushed the perambulator up the path, to let the baby sleep in the warmth and silence of the sheltered place. She chatted with Olive or the elder sisters, while Mrs. Halleck drove Cyrus on to the work of tying up the vines and trimming the shrubs, with the pitiless rigor of women when they get a man about some outdoor labor. Sometimes, Ben Halleck was briefly of the party; and one morning when Marcia opened the gate, she found him there alone with Cyrus, who was busy at some belated tasks of horticulture. The young man turned at the unlocking of the gate, and saw Marcia lifting the front wheels of the perambulator to get it over the steps of the pavement outside. He limped hastily down the walk to help her, but she had the carriage in the path before he could reach, her, and he had nothing to do but to walk back at its side, as she propelled it towards the house. “You see what a useless creature a cripple is,” he said.
When spring arrived, Bartley pushed Flavia around the sunny sidewalks in a baby stroller, while Marcia walked beside them, occasionally looking under the canopy to adjust the bright blanket and fix the little one’s lace hood. They didn’t notice that other strollers were being pushed by Irish nannies or French caregivers; they had paid a bit more than they probably should have for theirs, and they were proud of it simply as a possession. Bartley, like most young American fathers, idealized taking his wife and baby out this way; he enjoyed having his friends see him, and he went out every afternoon he could. When he couldn’t go, Marcia went alone. Mrs. Halleck had given her a key to the garden, and on nice mornings, she often found some of the family there when she brought the stroller up the path, allowing the baby to sleep in the warmth and quiet of the sheltered area. She would chat with Olive or the older sisters while Mrs. Halleck had Cyrus working on tying up the vines and trimming the shrubs, with the relentless determination women have when they get a man to do some outdoor chores. Sometimes, Ben Halleck would briefly join them; one morning when Marcia opened the gate, she found him there alone with Cyrus, who was busy with some overdue gardening tasks. The young man turned when he heard the gate unlock and saw Marcia lifting the front wheels of the stroller to get it over the steps outside. He limped quickly down the walkway to help her, but she managed to get the stroller on the path before he could reach her, leaving him with nothing to do but walk beside it as she pushed it toward the house. “You see what a useless creature a cripple is,” he said.
Marcia did not seem to have heard him. “Is your mother at home?” she asked.
Marcia didn't seem to hear him. "Is your mom home?" she asked.
“I think she is,” said Halleck. “Cyrus, go in and tell mother that Mrs. Hubbard is here, won't you?”
“I think she is,” said Halleck. “Cyrus, can you go in and tell Mom that Mrs. Hubbard is here?”
Cyrus went, after a moment of self-respectful delay, and Marcia sat down on a bench under a pear-tree beside the walk. Its narrow young leaves and blossoms sprinkled her with shade shot with vivid sunshine, and in her light dress she looked like a bright, fresh figure from some painter's study of spring. She breathed quickly from her exertion, and her cheeks had a rich, dewy bloom. She had pulled the perambulator round so that she might see her baby while she waited, and she looked at the baby now, and not at Halleck, as she said, “It is quite hot in the sun to-day.” She had a way of closing her lips, after speaking, in that sweet smile of hers, and then of glancing sidelong at the person to whom she spoke.
Cyrus walked away after a brief moment of holding back, and Marcia sat down on a bench under a pear tree next to the path. Its narrow young leaves and blossoms created a mix of shade and bright sunlight around her, and in her light dress, she looked like a vibrant figure from a spring painting. She breathed quickly from her effort, and her cheeks had a rich, dewy glow. She had turned the stroller so she could see her baby while she waited, and now she looked at the baby instead of Halleck as she said, “It’s really hot in the sun today.” She had a habit of closing her lips after speaking, accompanied by her sweet smile, and then glancing sideways at the person she was talking to.
“I suppose it is,” said Halleck, who remained on foot. “But I haven't been out yet. I gave myself a day off from the Law School, and I hadn't quite decided what to do with it.”
“I guess it is,” said Halleck, who stayed on foot. “But I haven’t gone out yet. I took a day off from Law School, and I wasn’t really sure what to do with it.”
Marcia leaned forward, and brushed a tendril of the baby's hair out of its eye. “She's the greatest little sleeper that ever was when she gets into her carriage,” she half mused, leaning back with her hands folded in her lap, and setting her head on one side for the effect of the baby without the stray ringlet. “She's getting so fat!” she said, proudly.
Marcia leaned forward and pushed a lock of the baby's hair out of her eye. “She's the best little sleeper ever when she's in her carriage,” she said, half-listening, as she leaned back with her hands folded in her lap, tilting her head to appreciate the baby without the stray curl. “She's getting so chubby!” she said proudly.
Halleck smiled. “Do you find it makes a difference in pushing her carriage, from day to day?”
Halleck smiled. “Do you think it makes a difference in pushing her stroller, day by day?”
Marcia took his question in earnest, as she must take anything but the most obvious pleasantry concerning her baby. “The carriage runs very easily; we picked out the lightest one we could, and I never have any trouble with it, except getting up curbstones and crossing Cambridge Street. I don't like to cross Cambridge Street, there are always so many horse-cars. But it's all down-hill coming here: that's one good thing.”
Marcia took his question seriously, as she had to take anything other than obvious compliments about her baby. “The stroller moves very smoothly; we chose the lightest one we could find, and I never have any issues with it, except when going up curbs and crossing Cambridge Street. I don’t enjoy crossing Cambridge Street; there are always so many horse-drawn carriages. But it’s all downhill coming here: that’s one good thing.”
“That makes it a very bad thing going home, though,” said Halleck.
"That makes going home really bad," Halleck said.
“Oh, I go round by Charles Street, and come up the hill from the other side; it isn't so steep there.”
“Oh, I go around Charles Street and come up the hill from the other side; it’s not as steep there.”
There was no more to be said upon this point, and in the lapse of their talk Halleck broke off some boughs of the blooming pear, and dropped them on the baby's afghan.
There was nothing more to address on this topic, and during their conversation, Halleck broke off a few branches of the blossoming pear and let them fall onto the baby's blanket.
“Your mother won't like your spoiling her pear-tree,” said Marcia, seriously.
“Your mom isn't going to like you messing up her pear tree,” Marcia said, seriously.
“She will when she knows that I did it for Miss Hubbard.”
“She will when she knows that I did it for Miss Hubbard.”
“Miss Hubbard!” repeated the young mother, and she laughed in fond derision. “How funny to hear you saying that! I thought you hated babies!”
“Miss Hubbard!” the young mother repeated, laughing affectionately. “How funny to hear you say that! I thought you hated babies!”
Halleck looked at her with strong self-disgust, and he dropped the bough which he had in his hand upon the ground. There is something in a young man's ideal of women, at once passionate and ascetic, so fine that any words are too gross for it. The event which intensified the interest of his mother and sisters in Marcia had abashed Halleck; when she came so proudly to show her baby to them all, it seemed to him like a mockery of his pity for her captivity to the love that profaned her. He went out of the room in angry impatience, which he could hardly hide, when one of his sisters tried to make him take the baby. Little by little his compassion adjusted itself to the new conditions; it accepted the child as an element of her misery in the future, when she must realize the hideous deformity of her marriage. His prophetic feeling of this, and of her inaccessibility to human help here and hereafter, made him sometimes afraid of her; but all the more severely he exacted of his ideal of her that she should not fall beneath the tragic dignity of her fate through any levity of her own. Now, at her innocent laugh, a subtile irreverence, which he was not able to exorcise, infused itself into his sense of her.
Halleck looked at her with intense self-disgust and dropped the branch he had in his hand onto the ground. There's something in a young man's ideal of women, which is both passionate and self-denying, that's so pure that any words fall short. The event that heightened his mother and sisters' interest in Marcia had embarrassed Halleck; when she proudly came to show her baby to everyone, it felt to him like a mockery of his pity for her being trapped in a love that degraded her. He left the room in a fit of anger that he could hardly conceal when one of his sisters tried to make him hold the baby. Gradually, his compassion adjusted to the new reality; he accepted the child as part of her future misery when she had to face the horrifying truth of her marriage. His instinctive awareness of this, and of her inability to receive human help now or later, sometimes made him fearful of her; yet he insisted that his ideal of her should not be diminished by the tragic nature of her situation due to any carelessness on her part. Now, at her innocent laugh, a subtle irreverence that he couldn't shake off crept into his perception of her.
He stood looking at her, after he dropped the pear-bough, and seeing her mere beauty as he had never seen it before. The bees hummed in the blossoms, which gave out a dull, sweet smell; the sunshine had the luxurious, enervating warmth of spring. He started suddenly from his reverie: Marcia had said something. “I beg your pardon?” he queried.
He stood there staring at her, after he let go of the pear branch, and he noticed her beauty like never before. The bees buzzed around the flowers, which released a rich, sweet fragrance; the sunlight felt warm and indulgent like spring. He snapped back to reality: Marcia had said something. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing. I asked if you knew where I went to church yesterday?”
“Oh, nothing. I was just asking if you knew where I went to church yesterday?”
Halleck flushed, ashamed of the wrong his thoughts, or rather his emotions, had done. “No, I don't,” he answered.
Halleck blushed, embarrassed by the wrong his thoughts, or actually his feelings, had caused. “No, I don’t,” he replied.
“I was at your church.”
“I went to your church.”
“I ought to have been there myself,” he returned, gravely, “and then I should have known.”
“I should have been there myself,” he replied seriously, “and then I would have known.”
She took his self-reproach literally. “You couldn't have seen me. I was sitting pretty far back, and I went out before any of your family saw me. Don't you go there?”
She took his self-blame seriously. “You couldn't have seen me. I was sitting pretty far back, and I left before any of your family noticed me. Don’t you go there?”
“Not always, I'm sorry to say. Or, rather, I'm sorry not to be sorry. What church do you generally go to?”
“Not always, I'm sorry to say. Or, actually, I'm not sorry at all. Which church do you usually go to?”
“Oh, I don't know. Sometimes to one, and sometimes to another. Bartley used to report the sermons, and we went round to all the churches then. That is the way I did at home, and it came natural to me. But I don't like it very well. I want Flavia should belong to some particular church.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Sometimes it’s one church, and sometimes another. Bartley used to report the sermons, and we would go to all the churches back then. That’s how I grew up, and it felt natural to me. But I don’t really like it that much. I want Flavia to belong to a specific church.”
“There are enough to choose from,” said Halleck, with pensive sarcasm.
“There are plenty to choose from,” said Halleck, with thoughtful sarcasm.
“Yes, that's the difficulty. But I shall make up my mind to one of them, and then I shall always keep to it. What I mean is that I should like to find out where most of the good people belong, and then have her be with them,” pursued Marcia. “I think it's best to belong to some church, don't you?”
“Yes, that's the problem. But I’ll decide on one of them, and then I’ll stick with it. What I mean is, I’d like to figure out where most of the good people are, and then have her join them,” Marcia continued. “I think it’s best to be part of a church, don’t you?”
There was something so bare, so spiritually poverty-stricken, in these confessions and questions, that Halleck found nothing to say to them. He was troubled, moreover, as to what the truth was in his own mind. He answered, with a sort of mechanical adhesion to the teachings of his youth, “I should be a recreant not to think so. But I'm not sure that I know what you mean by belonging to some church,” he added. “I suppose you would want to believe in the creed of the church, whichever it was.”
There was something so empty, so spiritually lacking, in these confessions and questions, that Halleck felt he had nothing to say to them. He was also uncertain about what the truth was in his own mind. He responded, mechanically sticking to the teachings of his youth, “I would be unfaithful not to think so. But I’m not sure I understand what you mean by belonging to a church,” he added. “I guess you’d want to believe in the church’s creed, no matter which one it was.”
“I don't know that I should be particular,” said Marcia, with perfect honesty.
“I’m not sure I need to be specific,” said Marcia, with complete honesty.
Halleck laughed sadly. “I'm afraid they would, then, unless you joined the Broad Church.”
Halleck laughed sadly. “I'm afraid they would, then, unless you joined the Broad Church.”
“What is that?” He explained as well as he could. At the end she repeated, as if she had not followed him very closely: “I should like her to belong to the church where most of the good people went. I think that would be the right one, if you could only find which it is.” Halleck laughed again. “I suppose what I say must sound very queer to you; but I've been thinking a good deal about this lately.”
“What is that?” He explained as best as he could. In the end, she repeated, as if she hadn’t really understood him: “I would like her to be part of the church where most of the good people go. I think that’s the right one, if only you could figure out which it is.” Halleck laughed again. “I guess what I'm saying must sound very strange to you, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately.”
“I beg your pardon,” said Halleck. “I had no reason to laugh, either on your account or my own. It's a serious subject.” She did not reply, and he asked, as if she had left the subject, “Do you intend to pass the summer in Boston?”
“I’m sorry,” said Halleck. “I really had no reason to laugh, either about you or myself. It’s a serious topic.” She didn’t respond, and he inquired, as if she had moved on from the conversation, “Are you planning to spend the summer in Boston?”
“No; I'm going down home pretty early, and I wanted to ask your mother what is the best way to put away my winter things.”
“No; I'm heading home pretty early, and I wanted to ask your mom the best way to store my winter clothes.”
“You'll find my mother very good authority on such matters,” said Halleck. Through an obscure association with moths that corrupt, he added, “She's a good authority on church matters, too.”
“You'll find my mom to be a really good source on that stuff,” said Halleck. With a vague connection to moths that spoil, he added, “She's a good source on church matters, too.”
“I guess I shall talk with her about Flavia,” said Marcia.
“I guess I’ll talk to her about Flavia,” said Marcia.
Cyrus came out of the house. “Mis' Halleck will be here in a minute. She's got to get red of a lady that's calling, first,” he explained.
Cyrus stepped outside. “Ms. Halleck will be here shortly. She just needs to finish up with a lady who's visiting,” he explained.
“I will leave you, then,” said Halleck, abruptly.
“I'll leave you now,” said Halleck, abruptly.
“Good by,” answered Marcia, tranquilly. The baby stirred; she pushed the carriage to and fro, without glancing after him as he walked away.
“Goodbye,” Marcia said calmly. The baby moved; she rocked the carriage back and forth, not looking after him as he walked away.
His mother came down the steps from the house, and kissed Marcia for welcome, and looked under the carriage-top at the sleeping baby. “How she does sleep!” she whispered.
His mother came down the steps from the house, kissed Marcia to say hello, and peered under the carriage canopy at the sleeping baby. “Wow, she sleeps so soundly!” she whispered.
“Yes,” said Marcia, with the proud humility of a mother, who cannot deny the merit of her child, “and she sleeps the whole night through. I'm never up with her. Bartley says she's a perfect Seven-Sleeper. It's a regular joke with him,—her sleeping.”
“Yes,” said Marcia, with the proud humility of a mother who can’t deny her child’s accomplishments, “and she sleeps the whole night through. I’m never up with her. Bartley says she’s a perfect Seven-Sleeper. It’s a running joke with him—her sleeping.”
“Ben was a good baby for sleeping, too,” said Mrs. Halleck, retrospectively emulous. “It's one of the best signs. It shows that the child is strong and healthy.” They went on to talk of their children, and in their community of motherhood they spoke of the young man as if he were still an infant. “He has never been a moment's care to me,” said Mrs. Halleck. “A well baby will be well even in teething.”
“Ben was a good baby when it came to sleeping, too,” Mrs. Halleck said, looking back with a hint of envy. “It's one of the best signs. It shows that the child is strong and healthy.” They continued talking about their kids, and in their motherly community, they spoke of the young man as if he were still a baby. “He’s never been any trouble for me,” Mrs. Halleck added. “A healthy baby will stay healthy even when they're teething.”
“And I had somehow thought of him as sickly!” said Marcia, in self-derision.
“And I had somehow thought of him as weak!” said Marcia, in self-mockery.
Tears of instant intelligence sprang into his mother's eyes. “And did you suppose he was always lame?” she demanded, with gentle indignation. “He was the brightest and strongest boy that ever was, till he was twelve years old. That's what makes it so hard to bear; that's what makes me wonder at the way the child bears it! Did you never hear how it happened? One of the big boys, as he called him, tripped him up at school, and he fell on his hip. It kept him in bed for a year, and he's never been the same since; he will always be a cripple,” grieved the mother. She wiped her eyes; she never could think of her boy's infirmity without weeping. “And what seemed the worst of all,” she continued, “was that the boy who did it never expressed any regret for it, or acknowledged it by word or deed, though he must have known that Ben knew who hurt him. He's a man here, now; and sometimes Ben meets him. But Ben always says that he can stand it, if the other one can. He was always just so from the first! He wouldn't let us blame the boy; he said that he didn't mean any harm, and that all was fair in play. And now he says he knows the man is sorry, and would own to what he did, if he didn't have to own to what came of it. Ben says that very few of us have the courage to face the consequences of the injuries we do, and that's what makes people seem hard and indifferent when they are really not so. There!” cried Mrs. Halleck. “I don't know as I ought to have told you about it; I know Ben wouldn't like it. But I can't bear to have any one think he was always lame, though I don't know why I shouldn't: I'm prouder of him since it happened than ever I was before. I thought he was here with you,” she added, abruptly.
Tears of sudden realization filled his mother's eyes. “Did you really think he was always lame?” she asked, a bit indignantly but gently. “He was the brightest and strongest boy there ever was, until he turned twelve. That's what makes this so hard to accept; it amazes me how the child handles it! Have you ever heard how it happened? One of the bigger boys, as he referred to him, tripped him at school, and he landed on his hip. That kept him in bed for a whole year, and he’s never been the same since; he’ll always be a cripple,” she mourned. She wiped her eyes; she could never think about her son’s condition without crying. “And what seemed the worst of all,” she continued, “was that the boy who did it never showed any remorse, or even acknowledged it in any way, even though he must have known that Ben knew who hurt him. He's a grown man now, and sometimes Ben sees him. But Ben always says he can handle it if the other guy can. He has always been like that! He wouldn’t let us blame the boy; he insisted that he didn’t mean any harm and that everything was fair in games. Now he says he believes the man feels bad and would admit to what he did if he didn’t also have to admit to what resulted from it. Ben claims that very few of us have the guts to face the consequences of our actions, which is what makes people appear cold and indifferent when they aren’t really. There!” Mrs. Halleck exclaimed. “I’m not sure I should have told you that; I know Ben wouldn’t like it. But I can’t stand having anyone think he was always lame, even though I’m not sure why I shouldn’t: I’m prouder of him since it happened than I ever was before. I thought he was here with you,” she added suddenly.
“He went out just before you came,” said Marcia, nodding toward the gate. She sat listening to Mrs. Halleck's talk about Ben; Mrs. Halleck took herself to task from time to time, but only to go on talking about him again. Sometimes Marcia commented on his characteristics, and compared them with Bartley's, or with Flavia's, according to the period of Ben's life under consideration.
“He left just before you got here,” Marcia said, nodding toward the gate. She listened as Mrs. Halleck talked about Ben; Mrs. Halleck would occasionally scold herself but then go right back to discussing him. Sometimes Marcia would comment on his traits, comparing them to Bartley's or Flavia's, depending on which part of Ben's life they were talking about.
At the end Mrs. Halleck said: “I haven't let you get in a word! Now you must talk about your baby. Dear little thing! I feel that she's been neglected. But I'm always just so selfish when I get to running on about Ben. They all laugh at me.”
At the end, Mrs. Halleck said, “I haven't let you get a word in! Now you have to talk about your baby. What a sweet little thing! I feel like she’s been neglected. But I always get so selfish when I start talking about Ben. They all laugh at me.”
“Oh, I like to hear about other children,” said Marcia, turning the perambulator round. “I don't think any one can know too much that has the care of children of their own.” She added, as if it followed from something they had been saying of vaccination, “Mrs. Halleck, I want to talk with you about getting Flavia christened. You know I never was christened.”
“Oh, I love hearing about other kids,” said Marcia, turning the stroller around. “I don’t think anyone can know too much when they’re taking care of their own children.” She added, as if it related to their earlier conversation about vaccination, “Mrs. Halleck, I want to talk to you about getting Flavia baptized. You know I was never baptized.”
“Weren't you?” said Mrs. Halleck, with a dismay which she struggled to conceal.
“Were you not?” said Mrs. Halleck, with a shock that she tried hard to hide.
“No,” said Marcia, “father doesn't believe in any of those things, and mother had got to letting them go, because he didn't take any interest in them. They did have the first children christened, but I was the last.”
“No,” Marcia said, “Dad doesn’t believe in any of that stuff, and Mom had stopped caring about it since he showed no interest. They did have the first kids baptized, but I was the last one.”
“I didn't speak with your father on the subject,” faltered Mrs. Halleck. “I didn't know what his persuasion was.”
“I didn't talk to your dad about this,” Mrs. Halleck hesitated. “I wasn't sure what he believed.”
“Why, father doesn't belong to any church! He believes in a God, but he doesn't believe in the Bible.” Mrs. Halleck sank down on the garden seat too much shocked to speak, and Marcia continued. “I don't know whether the Bible is true or not; but I've often wished that I belonged to church.”
“Why, dad doesn't belong to any church! He believes in God, but he doesn't believe in the Bible.” Mrs. Halleck sat down on the garden bench, too shocked to speak, and Marcia went on. “I don't know if the Bible is true or not; but I’ve often wished I belonged to a church.”
“You couldn't, unless you believed in the Bible,” said Mrs. Halleck.
“You couldn't, unless you believed in the Bible,” said Mrs. Halleck.
“Yes, I know that. Perhaps I should, if anybody proved it to me. I presume it could be explained. I never talked much with any one about it. There must be a good many people who don't belong to church, although they believe in the Bible. I should be perfectly willing to try, if I only knew how to begin.”
“Yes, I get that. Maybe I should, if someone could show me. I guess it could be explained. I’ve never really talked to anyone about it. There are probably a lot of people who don't go to church, even though they believe in the Bible. I’d be totally willing to try, if I just knew how to start.”
In view of this ruinous open-mindedness, Mrs. Halleck could only say, “The way to begin is to read it.”
In light of this destructive open-mindedness, Mrs. Halleck could only say, “The way to start is to read it.”
“Well, I will try. How do you know, after you've become so that you believe the Bible, whether you're fit to join the church?”
“Well, I’ll give it a shot. How can you tell, once you’ve come to believe in the Bible, if you're ready to join the church?”
“It's hard to tell you, my dear. You have to feel first that you have a Saviour,—that you've given your whole heart to him,—that he can save you, and that no one else can,—that all you can do yourself won't help you. It's an experience.”
“It's difficult for me to explain, my dear. You need to first feel that you have a Savior—that you've fully committed your heart to him—that he can save you and that no one else can—that nothing you do on your own will help. It's something you experience.”
Marcia looked at her attentively, as if this were all a very hard saying. “Yes, I've heard of that. Some of the girls had it at school. But I never did. Well,” she said at last, “I don't feel so anxious about myself, just at present, as I do about Flavia. I want to do everything I can for Flavia, Mrs. Halleck. I want her to be christened,—I want her to be baptized into some church. I think a good deal about it. I think sometimes, what if she should die, and I hadn't done that for her, when may be it was one of the most important things—” Her voice shook, and she pressed her lips together.
Marcia looked at her closely, as if this were all really hard to understand. “Yeah, I've heard of that. Some of the girls had it in school. But I never did. Well,” she finally said, “I’m not feeling as worried about myself right now as I am about Flavia. I want to do everything I can for Flavia, Mrs. Halleck. I want her to be christened—I want her to be baptized in some church. I think about it a lot. I sometimes wonder, what if she were to die, and I hadn't done that for her, when it could be one of the most important things—” Her voice wavered, and she pressed her lips together.
“Of course,” said Mrs. Halleck, tenderly, “I think it is the most important thing.”
“Of course,” Mrs. Halleck said gently, “I think it’s the most important thing.”
“But there are so many churches,” Marcia resumed. “And I don't know about any of them. I told Mr. Halleck just now, that I should like her to belong to the church where the best people went, if I could find it out. Of course, it was a ridiculous way to talk; I knew he thought so. But what I meant was that I wanted she should be with good people all her life; and I didn't care what she believed.”
“But there are so many churches,” Marcia continued. “And I don’t know anything about any of them. I just told Mr. Halleck that I’d like her to go to the church where the best people attend, if I could figure it out. Of course, I realized it was a silly way to say it; I knew he thought that. But what I really meant was that I wanted her to be around good people her whole life; and I didn’t care what she believed.”
“It's very important to believe the truth, my dear,” said Mrs. Halleck.
“It's really important to believe the truth, my dear,” said Mrs. Halleck.
“But the truth is so hard to be certain of, and you know goodness as soon as you see it. Mrs. Halleck, I'll tell you what I want: I want Flavia should be baptized into your church. Will you let her?”
“But the truth is really hard to be sure about, and you recognize goodness the moment you see it. Mrs. Halleck, let me tell you what I want: I want Flavia to be baptized in your church. Will you allow that?”
“Let her? O my dear child, we shall be humbly thankful that it has been put into your heart to choose for her what we think is the true church,” said Mrs. Halleck, fervently.
“Let her? Oh my dear child, we should be truly grateful that you feel it's right to choose for her what we believe is the real church,” Mrs. Halleck said passionately.
“I don't know about that,” returned Marcia. “I can't tell whether it's the true church or not, and I don't know that I ever could; but I shall be satisfied—if it's made you what you are,” she added, simply.
“I don't know about that,” Marcia replied. “I can't tell if it's the true church or not, and I don’t know if I ever could; but I’ll be happy—if it’s made you who you are,” she added, honestly.
Mrs. Halleck did not try to turn away her praise with vain affectations of humility. “We try to do right, Marcia,” she said. “Whenever we do it, we must be helped to it by some power outside of ourselves. I can't tell you whether it's our church; I'm not so sure of that as I used to be. I once thought that there could be no real good out of it; but I can't think that, any more. Olive and Ben are as good children as ever lived; I know they won't be lost; but neither of them belongs to our church.”
Mrs. Halleck didn’t shy away from accepting her praise with fake humility. “We try to do what’s right, Marcia,” she said. “Whenever we succeed, it’s because some power beyond ourselves helps us. I can’t say if it’s our church; I’m not as sure about that as I used to be. I once believed there couldn’t be any real goodness from it; but I can't think that way anymore. Olive and Ben are the best kids you’ll ever meet; I know they won’t be lost; but neither of them is part of our church.”
“Why, what church does he belong to?”
“Which church does he go to?”
“He doesn't belong to any, my dear,” said Mrs. Halleck, sorrowfully.
“He doesn't belong to any, my dear,” Mrs. Halleck said sadly.
Marcia looked at her absently. “I knew Olive was a Unitarian; but I thought—I thought he—”
Marcia stared at her blankly. “I knew Olive was a Unitarian; but I thought—I thought he—”
“No, he doesn't,” returned Mrs. Halleck. “It has been a great cross to his father and me. He is a good boy; but we think the truth is in our church!”
“No, he doesn't,” replied Mrs. Halleck. “It has been a huge burden for his father and me. He is a good kid; but we believe the truth is in our church!”
Marcia was silent a moment. Then she said, decisively, “Well, I should like Flavia to belong to your church.”
Marcia was quiet for a moment. Then she said firmly, “Well, I would like Flavia to be a part of your church.”
“She couldn't belong to it now,” Mrs. Halleck explained. “That would have to come later, when she could understand. But she could be christened in it—dear little thing!”
“She can't be part of it now,” Mrs. Halleck explained. “That will have to come later when she can understand. But she can be baptized in it—such a dear little thing!”
“Well, christened, then. It must be the training he got in it. I've thought a great deal about it, and I think my worst trouble is that I've been left too free in everything. One mustn't be left too free. I've never had any one to control me, and now I can't control myself at the very times when I need to do it the most, with—with—When I 'in in danger of vexing—When Bartley and I—”
“Well, it's settled then. It must be the training he received. I've thought a lot about it, and I believe my biggest issue is that I've been given too much freedom in everything. One shouldn't have too much freedom. I've never had anyone to keep me in check, and now I can't manage myself during the moments I need it the most, especially when I'm about to upset—When Bartley and I—”
“Yes,” said Mrs. Halleck, sympathetically.
“Yes,” said Mrs. Halleck, with sympathy.
“And Bartley is just so, too. He's always been left to himself. And Flavia will need all the control we can give her,—I know she will. And I shall have her christened in your church, and I shall teach her all about it. She shall go to the Sunday school, and I will go to church, so that she can have an example. I told father I should do it when he was up here, and he said there couldn't be any harm in it. And I've told Bartley, and he doesn't care.”
“And Bartley is just like that too. He’s always been left to himself. And Flavia will need all the support we can give her—I know she will. I’m going to have her baptized in your church, and I’ll teach her all about it. She’ll go to Sunday school, and I’ll go to church so she can see a good example. I told Dad I would do it when he was here, and he said there wouldn’t be any harm in it. I’ve also told Bartley, and he doesn’t care.”
They were both far too single-minded and too serious to find anything droll in the terms of the adhesion of Marcia's family to her plan, and Mrs. Halleck entered into its execution with affectionate zeal.
They were both way too focused and too serious to see anything funny in how Marcia's family was on board with her plan, and Mrs. Halleck jumped into making it happen with loving enthusiasm.
“Ben, dear,” she said, tenderly, that evening, when they were all talking it over in the family council, “I hope you didn't drop anything, when that poor creature spoke to you about it this morning, that could unsettle her mind in any way?”
“Ben, sweetheart,” she said gently that evening as they discussed everything in the family meeting, “I hope you didn't say anything when that poor person talked to you about it this morning that might upset her in any way?”
“No, mother,” said Halleck, gently.
“No, mom,” said Halleck, gently.
“I was sure you didn't,” returned his mother, repentantly.
“I knew you didn't,” his mother replied, feeling sorry.
They had been talking a long time of the matter, and Halleck now left the room.
They had been discussing the issue for a long time, and Halleck now left the room.
“Mother! How could you say such a thing to Ben?” cried Olive, in a quiver of indignant sympathy. “Ben say anything to unsettle anybody's religious purposes! He's got more religion now than all the rest of the family put together!”
“Mom! How could you say something like that to Ben?” Olive exclaimed, her voice trembling with righteous sympathy. “Ben would never say anything to shake anyone's faith! He has more belief now than the rest of the family combined!”
“Speak for yourself, Olive,” said one of the intermediary sisters.
“Speak for yourself, Olive,” said one of the middle sisters.
“Why, Olive, I spoke because I thought she seemed to place more importance on Ben's belonging to the church than anything else, and she seemed so surprised when I told her he didn't belong to any.”
“Why, Olive, I spoke up because I thought she cared more about Ben being part of the church than anything else, and she seemed really shocked when I told her he wasn’t a member of any.”
“I dare say she thinks Ben is good when she compares him with that mass of selfishness of a husband of hers,” said Olive. “But I will thank her,” she added, hotly, “not to compare Ben with Bartley Hubbard, even to Bartley Hubbard's disadvantage. I don't feel flattered by it.”
“I guess she thinks Ben is great when she compares him to that selfish husband of hers,” said Olive. “But I’ll ask her,” she added, angrily, “not to compare Ben with Bartley Hubbard, even if it makes Bartley look bad. I don’t find it flattering.”
“Of course she thinks all the world of her husband,” said Mrs. Halleck. “And I know Ben is good; and, as you say, he is religious; I feel that, though I don't understand how, exactly. I wouldn't hurt his feelings for the world, Olive, you know well enough. But it was a stumbling-block when I had to tell that poor, pretty young thing that Ben didn't belong to church; and I could see that it puzzled her. I couldn't have believed,” continued Mrs. Halleck, “that there was any person in a Christian land, except among the very lowest, that seemed to understand so little about the Christian religion, or any scheme of salvation. Really, she talked to me like a pagan. She sat there much better dressed and better educated than I was; but I felt like a missionary talking to a South Sea Islander.”
“Of course she thinks the world of her husband,” said Mrs. Halleck. “And I know Ben is a good guy; and, as you said, he's religious; I can feel that, even though I don't exactly understand how. I wouldn't hurt his feelings for anything, Olive, you know that well enough. But it was tough when I had to tell that poor, pretty young lady that Ben wasn't part of a church; and I could see it confused her. I never would have believed,” continued Mrs. Halleck, “that there was anyone in a Christian country, except among the very lowest, who seemed to know so little about the Christian faith, or any concept of salvation. Honestly, she talked to me like she was from another world. She sat there much better dressed and better educated than I was; but I felt like a missionary talking to a South Sea Islander.”
“I wonder the old Bartlett pear didn't burst into a palm-tree over your heads,” said Olive. Mrs. Halleck looked grieved at her levity, and Olive hastened to add: “Don't take it to heart, mother! I understood just what you meant, and I can imagine just how shocking Mrs. Hubbard's heathen remarks must have been. We should all be shocked if we knew how many people there were like her, and we should all try to deny it, and so would they. I guess Christianity is about as uncommon as civilization,—and that's very uncommon. If her poor, feeble mind was such a chaos, what do you suppose her husband's is?”
“I can’t believe that old Bartlett pear didn’t turn into a palm tree over your heads,” said Olive. Mrs. Halleck looked upset by her lightheartedness, and Olive quickly added, “Don’t take it to heart, Mom! I totally get what you meant, and I can only imagine how shocking Mrs. Hubbard’s ignorant comments must have been. We would all be shocked if we knew how many people were like her, and we would all try to deny it, just like they would. I guess Christianity is just as rare as civilization—and that’s pretty rare. If her poor, confused mind was such a mess, what do you think her husband’s mind is like?”
This would certainly not have been easy for Mrs. Halleck to say then, or to say afterward, when Bartley walked up to the font in her church, with Marcia at his side, and Flavia in his arms, and a faintly ironical smile on his face, as if he had never expected to be got in for this, but was going to see it through now. He had, in fact, said, “Well, let's go the whole figure,” when Marcia had expressed a preference for having the rite performed in church, instead of in their own house.
This definitely wouldn’t have been easy for Mrs. Halleck to say back then or even later, when Bartley walked up to the font in her church, with Marcia beside him and Flavia in his arms, sporting a slightly ironic smile as if he had never thought he’d be in this situation, but was committed to seeing it through now. In fact, he had said, “Well, let’s go for it,” when Marcia mentioned she preferred having the ceremony in the church instead of at their home.
He was unquestionably growing stout, and even Mrs. Halleck noticed that his blonde face was unpleasantly red that day. He was, of course, not intemperate. He always had beer with his lunch, which he had begun to take down town since the warm weather had come on and made the walk up the hill to Clover Street irksome: and he drank beer at his dinner,—he liked a late dinner, and they dined at six, now,—because it washed away the fatigues of the day, and freshened you up. He was rather particular about his beer, which he had sent in by the gross,—it came cheaper that way; after trying both the Cincinnati and the Milwaukee lagers, and making a cursory test of the Boston brand, he had settled down upon the American tivoli; it was cheap, and you could drink a couple of bottles without feeling it. Freshened up by his two bottles, he was apt to spend the evening in an amiable drowse and get early to bed, when he did not go out on newspaper duty. He joked about the three fingers of fat on his ribs, and frankly guessed it was the beer that did it; at such times he said that perhaps he should have to cut down on his tivoli.
He was definitely getting chubby, and even Mrs. Halleck noticed that his blonde face was annoyingly red that day. He wasn't really excessive, though. He always had beer with his lunch, which he had started eating in town since the warm weather made the walk up the hill to Clover Street a hassle; and he drank beer at dinner too—he preferred a late dinner, and they now ate at six—because it helped wash away the day's stress and perked him up. He was pretty picky about his beer, which he ordered in bulk because it was cheaper that way; after trying both Cincinnati and Milwaukee lagers, along with a quick taste of the Boston brand, he settled on American tivoli; it was inexpensive, and you could drink a couple of bottles without feeling it. After being refreshed by his two bottles, he would often spend the evening in a nice daze and head to bed early unless he had to go out for newspaper duty. He joked about the few extra pounds around his waist and honestly admitted it was probably the beer that did it; at those times, he would say that maybe he should cut back on his tivoli.
Marcia and he had not so much time together as they used to have; she was a great deal taken up with the baby, and he found it dull at home, not doing anything or saying anything; and when he did not feel sleepy, he sometimes invented work that took him out at night. But he always came upstairs after putting his hat on, and asked Marcia if he could help her about anything.
Marcia and he didn't spend as much time together as they used to; she was really busy with the baby, and he found it boring at home, not doing or saying much. When he wasn't feeling sleepy, he sometimes made up work that would take him out at night. But he always came upstairs after putting on his hat and asked Marcia if there was anything he could help her with.
He usually met other newspaper men on these excursions, and talked newspaper with them, airing his favorite theories. He liked to wander about with reporters who were working up cases; to look in at the police stations, and go to the fires; and he was often able to give the Events men points that had escaped the other reporters. If asked to drink, he always said, “Thanks, no; I don't do anything in that way. But if you'll make it beer, I don't mind.” He took nothing but beer when he hurried out of the theatre into one of the neighboring resorts, just as the great platters of stewed kidneys and lyonnaise potatoes came steaming up out of the kitchen, prompt to the drop of the curtain on the last act. Here; sometimes, he met a friend, and shared with him his dish of kidneys and his schooner of beer; and he once suffered himself to be lured by the click of the balls into the back room. He believed that he played a very good game of billiards; but he was badly beaten that night. He came home at daylight, fifty dollars out. But he had lost like a gentleman in a game with gentlemen; and he never played again.
He often ran into other journalists on these outings and discussed the newspaper business with them, sharing his favorite theories. He enjoyed hanging out with reporters working on stories; checking in at police stations and heading to fires; and he often managed to give the Events team tips that other reporters missed. When offered a drink, he always replied, “Thanks, no; I don’t drink like that. But if it’s beer, I’m good.” He only had beer when he quickly left the theater for one of the nearby bars, just as the big plates of stewed kidneys and lyonnaise potatoes were coming out of the kitchen, right as the curtain dropped on the last act. Occasionally, he met a friend there and shared his plate of kidneys and a beer; and once he let himself be tempted by the sound of the balls in the back room. He thought he was a pretty good billiards player, but he ended up losing badly that night. He came home at dawn, fifty dollars down. But he lost like a gentleman while playing against gentlemen; and he never played again.
By day he worked hard, and since his expenses had been increased by Flavia's coming, he had undertaken more work for more pay. He still performed all the routine labor of a managing editor, and he now wrote the literary notices of the Events, and sometimes, especially if there was anything new, the dramatic criticisms; he brought to the latter task all the freshness of a man who, till the year before, had not been half a dozen times inside a theatre.
By day, he worked hard, and since his expenses had increased with Flavia's arrival, he took on more work for more pay. He still handled all the day-to-day responsibilities of a managing editor, and he now wrote the literary reviews for the Events, and sometimes, especially if there was anything new, the theater reviews; he approached the latter task with the enthusiasm of someone who, until the year before, had only been inside a theater a handful of times.
He attributed the fat on his ribs to the tivoli; perhaps it was also owing in some degree to a good conscience, which is a much easier thing to keep than people imagine. At any rate, he now led a tranquil, industrious, and regular life, and a life which suited him so well that he was reluctant to interrupt it by the visit to Equity, which he and Marcia had talked of in the early spring. He put it off from time to time, and one day when she was pressing him to fix some date for it he said, “Why can't you go, Marcia?”
He linked the extra weight around his ribs to the Tivoli; maybe it was also partly due to having a clear conscience, which is actually easier to maintain than most people think. Anyway, he was now living a calm, productive, and consistent life, one that fit him so well that he was hesitant to disrupt it with the visit to Equity that he and Marcia had discussed earlier in the spring. He kept postponing it, and one day when she was urging him to set a date, he said, “Why don't you go, Marcia?”
“Alone?” she faltered.
"Alone?" she hesitated.
“Well, no; take the baby, of course. And I'll run down for a day or two when I get a chance.”
“Well, no; take the baby, of course. And I’ll run down for a day or two when I get the chance.”
Marcia seemed in these days to be schooling herself against the impulses that once brought on her quarrels with Bartley. “A day or two—” she began, and then stopped and added gravely, “I thought you said you were going to have several weeks' vacation.”
Marcia appeared to be teaching herself to control the impulses that used to lead to her arguments with Bartley. “A day or two—” she started, then paused and added seriously, “I thought you said you were going to have several weeks off.”
“Oh, don't tell me what I said!” cried Bartley. “That was before I undertook this extra work, or before I knew what a grind it was going to be. Equity is a good deal of a dose for me, any way. It's all well enough for you, and I guess the change from Boston will do you good, and do the baby good, but I shouldn't look forward to three weeks in Equity with unmitigated hilarity.”
“Oh, don’t tell me what I said!” Bartley exclaimed. “That was before I took on this extra work, or before I realized how tough it was going to be. Equity is quite a challenge for me, anyway. It's fine for you, and I’m sure the move from Boston will be good for you and the baby, but I can’t say I’m looking forward to three weeks in Equity with total excitement.”
“I know it will be stupid for you. But you need the rest. And the Hallecks are going to be at North Conway, and they said they would come over,” urged Marcia. “I know we should have a good time.”
“I know it might seem silly to you. But you really need the break. And the Hallecks are going to be in North Conway; they said they would stop by,” urged Marcia. “I know we’ll have a great time.”
Bartley grinned. “Is that your idea of a good time, Marsh? Three weeks of Equity, relieved by a visit from such heavy weights as Ben Halleck and his sisters? Not any in mine, thank you.”
Bartley grinned. “Is that what you consider fun, Marsh? Three weeks of Equity, interrupted by a visit from big names like Ben Halleck and his sisters? Not for me, thanks.”
“How can you—how dare you speak of them so!” cried Marcia lightening upon him. “Such good friends of yours—such good people—” Her voice shook with indignation and wounded feeling.
“How can you—how dare you talk about them like that!” Marcia exclaimed, turning on him. “Such good friends of yours—such good people—” Her voice trembled with anger and hurt.
Bartley rose and took a turn about the room, pulling down his waistcoat and contemplating its outward slope with a smile. “Oh, I've got more friends than I can shake a stick at. And with pleasure at the helm, goodness is a drug in the market,—if you'll excuse the mixed metaphor. Look here, Marcia,” he added, severely. “If you like the Hallecks, all well and good; I sha'n't interfere with you; but they bore me. I outgrew Ben Halleck years ago. He's duller than death. As for the old people, there's no harm in them,—though they're bores, too,—nor in the old girls; but Olive Halleck doesn't treat me decently. I suppose that just suits you: I've noticed that you never like the women that do treat me decently.”
Bartley got up and walked around the room, adjusting his waistcoat and smiling at its shape. “Oh, I've got more friends than I know what to do with. And with pleasure leading the way, goodness is in short supply—if you'll excuse the mixed metaphor. Look here, Marcia,” he said, seriously. “If you like the Hallecks, that's fine; I won't get in your way; but they bore me. I outgrew Ben Halleck years ago. He's as dull as can be. As for the older folks, they're harmless—though they’re boring too—and the older girls; but Olive Halleck doesn’t treat me with any respect. I guess that works for you: I've noticed you never seem to like the women who actually treat me well.”
“They don't treat me decently!” retorted Marcia.
“They don’t treat me well!” retorted Marcia.
“Oh, Miss Kingsbury treated you very well that night. She couldn't imagine your being jealous of her politeness to me.”
“Oh, Miss Kingsbury was really nice to you that night. She couldn’t believe you would be jealous of how polite she was to me.”
Marcia's temper fired at his treacherous recurrence to a grievance which he had once so sacredly and sweetly ignored. “If you wish to take up bygones, why don't you go back to Hannah Morrison at once? She treated you even better than Miss Kingsbury.”
Marcia's anger flared at his unfaithful return to a complaint he had once so respectfully and pleasantly overlooked. “If you want to bring up the past, why don’t you just go back to Hannah Morrison? She treated you even better than Miss Kingsbury.”
“I should have been very willing to do that,” said Bartley, “but I thought it might remind you of a disagreeable little episode in your own life, when you flung me away, and had to go down on your knees to pick me up again.”
“I would have been totally willing to do that,” Bartley said, “but I thought it might remind you of an unpleasant little moment in your life when you pushed me away and had to get down on your knees to pick me up again.”
These thrusts which they dealt each other in their quarrels, however blind and misdirected, always reached their hearts: it was the wicked will that hurt, rather than the words. Marcia rose, bleeding inwardly, and her husband felt the remorse of a man who gets the best of it in such an encounter.
These blows they threw at each other during their fights, even though they were thoughtless and off-target, always hit deep: it was the malicious intent that caused the pain, not the actual words. Marcia stood up, hurting inside, and her husband felt the guilt of someone who comes out on top in such a confrontation.
“Oh, I'm sorry I said that, Marcia! I didn't mean it; indeed I—” She disdained to heed him, as she swept out of the room, and up the stairs; and his anger flamed out again.
“Oh, I'm sorry I said that, Marcia! I didn't mean it; really I—” She ignored him as she left the room and went upstairs; and his anger flared up again.
“I give you fair warning,” he called after her, “not to try that trick of locking the door, or I will smash it in.”
“I warn you,” he called after her, “don’t try that trick of locking the door, or I’ll break it down.”
Her answer was to turn the key in the door with a click which he could not fail to hear.
Her response was to turn the key in the door with a click that he couldn't miss.
The peace in which they had been living of late was very comfortable to Bartley; he liked it; he hated to have it broken; he was willing to do what he could to restore it at once. If he had no better motive than this, he still had this motive; and he choked down his wrath, and followed Marcia softly upstairs. He intended to reason with her, and he began, “I say, Marsh,” as he turned the door-knob. But you cannot reason through a keyhole, and before he knew he found himself saying, “Will you open this?” in a tone whose quiet was deadly. She did not answer; he heard her stop in her movements about the room, and wait, as if she expected him to ask again. He hesitated a moment whether to keep his threat of breaking the door in; but he turned away and went down stairs, and so into the street. Once outside, he experienced the sense of release that comes to a man from the violation of his better impulses; but he did not know what to do or where to go. He walked rapidly away; but Marcia's eyes and voice seemed to follow him, and plead with him for his forbearance. But he answered his conscience, as if it had been some such presence, that he had forborne too much already, and that now he should not humble himself; that he was right and should stand upon his right. There was not much comfort in it, and he had to brace himself again and again with vindictive resolution.
The peace they had enjoyed lately was very comforting to Bartley; he liked it and hated the thought of it being disrupted. He was willing to do whatever he could to fix things immediately. Even if his only motive was this, it was still a motive; he swallowed his anger and quietly followed Marcia upstairs. He planned to talk things over with her and began, “I say, Marsh,” as he turned the doorknob. But you can’t reason through a keyhole, and before he knew it, he found himself saying, “Will you open this?” in a tone that was disturbingly calm. She didn’t respond; he heard her stop moving around the room and wait, as if she was expecting him to ask again. He hesitated for a moment about following through on his threat to break the door down, but then he turned away and went downstairs, stepping out into the street. Once outside, he felt a release from giving in to his worse impulses; however, he didn’t know what to do or where to go. He walked away quickly, but Marcia’s eyes and voice seemed to follow him, urging him to be patient. Still, he answered his conscience, as if it were a tangible presence, that he had already been too patient and shouldn’t humble himself further; he believed he was right and needed to stand his ground. There wasn’t much comfort in this, and he repeatedly had to steel himself with a sense of vindictive determination.
XXIV.
Bartley walked about the streets for a long time, without purpose or direction, brooding fiercely on his wrongs, and reminding himself how Marcia had determined to have him, and had indeed flung herself upon his mercy, with all sorts of good promises; and had then at once taken the whip-hand, and goaded and tormented him ever since. All the kindness of their common life counted for nothing in this furious reverie, or rather it was never once thought of; he cursed himself for a fool that he had ever asked her to marry him, and for doubly a fool that he had married her when she had as good as asked him. He was glad, now, that he had taunted her with that; he only regretted that he had told her he was sorry. He was presently aware of being so tired that he could scarcely pull one leg after another; and yet he felt hopelessly wide awake. It was in simple despair of anything else to do that he climbed the stairs to Ricker's lofty perch in the Chronicle-Abstract office. Ricker turned about as he entered, and stared up at him from beneath the green pasteboard visor with which he was shielding his eyes from the gas; his hair, which was of the harshness and color of hay, was stiffly poked up and strewn about on his skull, as if it were some foreign product.
Bartley wandered the streets for quite a while, aimlessly and without a destination, consumed with anger over his grievances. He reminded himself how Marcia had decided she wanted him, throwing herself at his mercy with all sorts of sweet promises, only to take control right after and torment him ever since. All the good moments they shared meant nothing in this intense daydream; in fact, he didn’t even think about them. He cursed himself for being a fool for ever proposing to her and for being doubly foolish for actually marrying her when she had basically asked him to. He was glad he had teased her about that, only wishing he hadn’t told her he was sorry. Soon, he realized he was so exhausted he could barely lift his legs, yet somehow he felt completely awake. It was out of sheer despair, with nothing else to do, that he climbed the stairs to Ricker's high perch in the Chronicle-Abstract office. Ricker turned around as Bartley entered and stared up at him from under a green cardboard visor that shielded his eyes from the gaslight; his hair, rough and straw-colored, was stubbornly stuck up and scattered across his head as if it was something entirely foreign.
“Hello!” he said. “Going to issue a morning edition of the Events?”
“Hey!” he said. “Are you going to put out a morning edition of the Events?”
“What makes you think so?”
"What makes you say that?"
“Oh, I supposed you evening-paper gents went to bed with the hens. What has kept you up, esteemed contemporary?” He went on working over some despatches which lay upon his table.
“Oh, I thought you evening-news guys went to bed with the chickens. What has kept you up, my respected friend?” He continued to work on some reports that were on his desk.
“Don't you want to come out and have some oysters?” asked Bartley.
“Don’t you want to come out and have some oysters?” Bartley asked.
“Why this princely hospitality? I'll come with you in half a minute,” Ricker said, going to the slide that carried up the copy to the composing-room and thrusting his manuscript into the box.
“Why this royal hospitality? I’ll be there in a sec,” Ricker said, heading to the slide that took the copy up to the composing room and pushing his manuscript into the box.
“Where are you going?” he asked, when they found themselves out in the soft starlit autumnal air; and Bartley answered with the name of an oyster-house, obscure, but of singular excellence.
“Where are you going?” he asked, when they stepped out into the soft, starry autumn air; and Bartley replied with the name of an oyster house, unknown to many, but exceptional in quality.
“Yes, that's the best place,” Ricker commented. “What I always wonder at in you is the rapidity with which you Ve taken on the city. You were quite in the green wood when you came here, and now you know your Boston like a little man. I suppose it's your newspaper work that's familiarized you with the place. Well, how do you like your friend Witherby, as far as you've gone?”
“Yes, that's the best spot,” Ricker said. “What surprises me about you is how quickly you've acclimated to the city. You were pretty naive when you arrived, and now you know Boston like a pro. I guess it's your work at the newspaper that's made you familiar with the area. So, what do you think of your friend Witherby, so far?”
“Oh, we shall get along, I guess,” said Bartley. “He still keeps me in the background, and plays at being editor, but he pays me pretty well.”
“Oh, I think we’ll manage just fine,” Bartley said. “He still keeps me in the background and pretends to be the editor, but he pays me pretty well.”
“Not too well, I hope.”
“Hopefully not too well.”
“I should like to see him try it.”
"I would like to see him give it a shot."
“I shouldn't,” said Ricker. “He'd expect certain things of you, if he did. You'll have to look out for Witherby.”
“I shouldn't,” Ricker said. “He'd expect certain things from you if he did. You'll need to keep an eye on Witherby.”
“You mean that he's a scamp?”
“You mean that he's a troublemaker?”
“No; there isn't a better conscience than Witherby carries in the whole city. He's perfectly honest. He not only believes that he has a right to run the Events in his way; but he sincerely believes that he is right in doing it. There's where he has the advantage of you, if you doubt him. I don't suppose he ever did a wrong thing in his life; he'd persuade himself that the thing was right before he did it.”
“No, there isn't a better conscience than Witherby has in the whole city. He's completely honest. He not only thinks he has the right to run the Events his way, but he genuinely believes he is justified in doing so. That’s where he has the upper hand over you if you have any doubts about him. I seriously doubt he’s ever done anything wrong in his life; he’d convince himself that whatever he was about to do was the right thing before he actually did it.”
“That's a common phenomenon, isn't it?” sneered Bartley. “Nobody sins.”
“That's a common thing, isn't it?” Bartley mocked. “Nobody does anything wrong.”
“You're right, partly. But some of us sinners have our misgivings, and Witherby never has. You know he offered me your place?”
“You're partly right. But some of us sinners have our doubts, and Witherby never does. You know he offered me your spot?”
“No, I didn't,” said Bartley, astonished and not pleased.
“No, I didn't,” Bartley said, shocked and not happy.
“I thought he might have told you. He made me inducements; but I was afraid of him: Witherby is the counting-room incarnate. I talked you into him for some place or other; but he didn't seem to wake up to the value of my advice at once. Then I couldn't tell what he was going to offer you.”
“I thought he might have mentioned it to you. He tried to persuade me, but I was scared of him: Witherby is the embodiment of the accounting office. I talked you up to him for some position or another, but he didn’t seem to grasp the worth of my advice right away. After that, I had no idea what he was going to offer you.”
“Thank you for letting me in for a thing you were afraid of!”
“Thanks for letting me in on something you were scared of!”
“I didn't believe he would get you under his thumb, as he would me. You've got more back-bone than I have. I have to keep out of temptation; you have noticed that I never drink, and I would rather not look upon Witherby when he is red and giveth his color in the cup. I'm sorry if I've let you in for anything that you regret. But Witherby's sincerity makes him dangerous,—I own that.”
“I didn’t think he could control you like he does me. You have more strength than I do. I have to stay away from temptation; you’ve probably seen that I never drink, and I’d rather not see Witherby when he’s flushed and tipsy. I’m sorry if I’ve put you in a situation you regret. But Witherby’s honesty makes him a threat—I admit that.”
“I think he has some very good ideas about newspapers,” said Bartley, rather sulkily.
“I think he has some really great ideas about newspapers,” said Bartley, a bit sulkily.
“Oh, very,” assented Ricker. “Some of the very best going. He believes that the press is a great moral engine, and that it ought to be run in the interest of the engineer.”
“Oh, definitely,” agreed Ricker. “Some of the best there are. He believes that the press is a powerful force for good, and that it should be operated in the interest of the engineer.”
“And I suppose you believe that it ought to be run in the interest of the public?”
"And I guess you think it should be managed for the benefit of the public?"
“Exactly—after the public has paid.”
“Exactly—after the public has paid.”
“Well, I don't; and I never did. A newspaper is a private enterprise.”
“Well, I don’t; and I never did. A newspaper is a private business.”
“It's private property, but it isn't a private enterprise, and in its very nature it can't be. You know I never talk 'journalism' and stuff; it amuses me to hear the young fellows at it, though I think they might be doing something worse than magnifying their office; they might be decrying it. But I've got a few ideas and principles of my own in my back pantaloons pocket.”
“It's private property, but it isn’t a private business, and by its very nature, it can't be. You know I never talk about 'journalism' and all that; it makes me laugh to hear the young guys go on about it, even though I think they might be doing something worse than inflating their importance; they could be trashing it. But I have a few ideas and principles of my own tucked in my back pocket.”
“Haul them out,” said Bartley.
“Pull them out,” said Bartley.
“I don't know that they're very well formulated,” returned Ricker, “and I don't contend that they're very new. But I consider a newspaper a public enterprise, with certain distinct duties to the public. It's sacredly bound not to do anything to deprave or debauch its readers; and it's sacredly bound not to mislead or betray them, not merely as to questions of morals and politics, but as to questions of what we may lump as 'advertising.' Has friend Witherby developed his great ideas of advertisers' rights to you?” Bartley did not answer, and Ricker went on: “Well, then, you can understand my position, when I say it's exactly the contrary.”
“I don't think they’re very well thought out,” Ricker replied, “and I’m not claiming they’re very original. But I see a newspaper as a public service, with certain clear responsibilities to the public. It’s required not to do anything that would corrupt or debase its readers; and it’s required not to mislead or betray them, not just regarding moral and political issues, but also what we can group together as 'advertising.' Has our friend Witherby shared his big ideas about advertisers' rights with you?” Bartley didn’t answer, and Ricker continued: “Well then, you can understand where I stand when I say it’s exactly the opposite.”
“You ought to be on a religious newspaper, Ricker,” said Bartley with a scornful laugh.
“You should be on a religious newspaper, Ricker,” Bartley said with a mocking laugh.
“Thank you, a secular paper is bad enough for me.”
“Thanks, a non-religious paper is enough for me.”
“Well, I don't pretend that I make the Events just what I want,” said Bartley. “At present, the most I can do is to indulge in a few cheap dreams of what I should do, if I had a paper of my own.”
“Well, I don’t pretend that I can shape events exactly how I want,” said Bartley. “Right now, the most I can do is indulge in a few cheap dreams about what I would do if I had my own publication.”
“What are your dreams? Haul out, as you say.”
“What are your dreams? Share them, as you put it.”
“I should make it pay, to begin with; and I should make it pay by making it such a thorough newspaper that every class of people must have it. I should cater to the lowest class first, and as long as I was poor I would have the fullest and best reports of every local accident and crime; that would take all the rabble. Then, as I could afford it, I'd rise a little, and give first-class non-partisan reports of local political affairs; that would fetch the next largest class, the ward politicians of all parties. I'd lay for the local religious world, after that;—religion comes right after politics in the popular mind, and it interests the women like murder: I'd give the minutest religious intelligence, and not only that, but the religious gossip, and the religious scandal. Then I'd go in for fashion and society,—that comes next. I'd have the most reliable and thorough-going financial reports that money could buy. When I'd got my local ground perfectly covered, I'd begin to ramify. Every fellow that could spell, in any part of the country, should understand that, if he sent me an account of a suicide, or an elopement, or a murder, or an accident, he should be well paid for it; and I'd rise on the same scale through all the departments. I'd add art criticisms, dramatic and sporting news, and book reviews, more for the looks of the thing than for anything else; they don't any of 'em appeal to a large class. I'd get my paper into such a shape that people of every kind and degree would have to say, no matter what particular objection was made to it, 'Yes, that's so; but it's the best newspaper in the world, and we can't get along without it.'”
“I should make it profitable from the start, and I’d do that by creating such a comprehensive newspaper that every class of people must have it. I’d focus on the lowest class first, and as long as I was struggling financially, I would provide the most thorough and detailed reports of every local accident and crime; that would attract all the lower-class readers. Then, as I could afford it, I’d move up a bit and offer first-rate non-partisan reports on local politics; that would draw in the next largest group, the ward politicians from all parties. After that, I’d target the local religious community—religion comes right after politics in people’s minds, and it interests women as much as crime does: I’d provide detailed religious news, and not just that, but also religious gossip and scandal. Then I’d branch out into fashion and society—that's the next step. I’d include the most reliable and comprehensive financial reports that money could buy. Once I had my local coverage fully established, I’d start to expand. Anyone who could write, from any part of the country, should know that if they sent me news of a suicide, an elopement, a murder, or an accident, they would be well compensated; and I’d extend this principle throughout all the sections. I’d include art criticism, theatrical and sports news, and book reviews, more for appearances than anything else; those don’t tend to attract a large audience. I’d shape my paper so that people from every background would have to say, no matter what specific criticism they had, 'Yes, that's true; but it’s the best newspaper in the world, and we can’t do without it.'”
“And then,” said Ricker, “you'd begin to clean up, little by little,—let up on your murders and scandals, and purge and live cleanly like a gentleman? The trick's been tried before.”
“And then,” Ricker said, “you'd start to clean up, bit by bit—ease off on your murders and scandals, and straighten up to live like a gentleman? That game has been played before.”
They had arrived at the oyster-house, and were sitting at their table, waiting for the oysters to be brought to them. Bartley tilted his chair back. “I don't know about the cleaning up. I should want to keep all my audience. If I cleaned up, the dirty fellows would go off to some one else; and the fellows that pretended to be clean would be disappointed.”
They had reached the oyster house and were sitting at their table, waiting for the oysters to be served. Bartley leaned his chair back. “I’m not sure about cleaning up. I’d want to keep all my audience. If I cleaned up, the messy guys would leave for someone else, and the guys who acted all clean would be let down.”
“Why don't you get Witherby to put your ideas in force?” asked Ricker, dryly.
“Why don’t you have Witherby implement your ideas?” Ricker asked dryly.
Bartley dropped his chair to all fours, and said with a smile, “He belongs to church.”
Bartley dropped his chair to all fours and said with a smile, “He belongs to the church.”
“Ah! he has his limitations. What a pity! He has the money to establish this great moral engine of yours, and you haven't. It's a loss to civilization.”
“Ah! He has his limits. What a shame! He has the money to set up this great moral engine of yours, and you don’t. It's a loss for society.”
“One thing, I know,” said Bartley, with a certain effect of virtue, “nobody should buy or sell me; and the advertising element shouldn't spread beyond the advertising page.”
“Here’s what I know,” Bartley said, with a sense of righteousness, “nobody should buy or sell me, and the advertising part shouldn’t extend beyond the advertising page.”
“Isn't that rather high ground?” inquired Ricker.
“Isn't that pretty high ground?” Ricker asked.
Bartley did not think it worth while to answer. “I don't believe that a newspaper is obliged to be superior in tone to the community,” he said.
Bartley didn't think it was worth responding. “I don't believe a newspaper has to have a higher standard than the community,” he said.
“I quite agree with you.”
“I totally agree with you.”
“And if the community is full of vice and crime, the newspaper can't do better than reflect its condition.”
“And if the community is filled with vice and crime, the newspaper can only mirror its situation.”
“Ah! there I should distinguish, esteemed contemporary. There are several tones in every community, and it will keep any newspaper scratching to rise above the highest. But if it keeps out of the mud at all, it can't help rising above the lowest. And no community is full of vice and crime any more than it is full of virtue and good works. Why not let your model newspaper mirror these?”
“Ah! that's where I should clarify, respected modern peer. Every community has its different voices, and it’ll take any newspaper a lot of effort to stand out from the crowd. But as long as it stays out of the dirt, it can’t help but rise above the worst. And no community is entirely filled with vices and crimes any more than it is entirely filled with virtues and good deeds. So why not let your ideal newspaper reflect these?”
“They're not snappy.”
“They're not catchy.”
“No, that's true.”
“Yeah, that's true.”
“You must give the people what they want.”
“You have to give the people what they want.”
“Are you sure of that?”
"Are you sure about that?"
“Yes, I am.”
"Yeah, I am."
“Well, it's a beautiful dream,” said Ricker, “nourished on a youth sublime. Why do not these lofty imaginings visit us later in life? You make me quite ashamed of my own ideal newspaper. Before you began to talk, I had been fancying that the vice of our journalism was its intense localism. I have doubted a good while whether a drunken Irishman who breaks his wife's head, or a child who falls into a tub of hot water, has really established a claim on the public interest. Why should I be told by telegraph how three negroes died on the gallows in North Carolina? Why should an accurate correspondent inform me of the elopement of a married man with his maid-servant in East Machias? Why should I sup on all the horrors of a railroad accident, and have the bleeding fragments hashed up for me at breakfast? Why should my newspaper give a succession of shocks to my nervous system, as I pass from column to column, and poultice me between shocks with the nastiness of a distant or local scandal? You reply, because I like spice. But I don't. I am sick of spice; and I believe that most of our readers are.”
“Well, it's a beautiful dream,” Ricker said, “fueled by a youthful spirit. Why don’t these grand ideas come to us later in life? You’ve made me quite embarrassed about my own ideal newspaper. Before you started talking, I was thinking that the problem with our journalism is its extreme local focus. I’ve wondered for a while whether a drunken Irishman who injures his wife, or a child who falls into a tub of hot water, really deserves public attention. Why should I be informed by telegraph about three Black men who were executed in North Carolina? Why should a reliable correspondent tell me about a married man running away with his maid in East Machias? Why do I have to hear about all the tragedies of a train wreck, only to have the gory details served up for breakfast? Why does my newspaper give me a series of shocks as I read through the columns, then distract me between those shocks with the absurdities of distant or local scandals? You might say it's because I like excitement. But I don’t. I’m tired of excitement; and I think most of our readers are too.”
“Cater to them with milk-toast, then,” said Bartley.
“Serve them some milk toast, then,” said Bartley.
Ricker laughed with him, and they fell to upon their oysters.
Ricker laughed with him, and they started eating their oysters.
When they parted, Bartley still found himself wakeful. He knew that he should not sleep if he went home, and he said to himself that he could not walk about all night. He turned into a gayly-lighted basement, and asked for something in the way of a nightcap.
When they said goodbye, Bartley still couldn’t sleep. He realized that he shouldn’t sleep if he went home, and he told himself he couldn’t just wander around all night. He stepped into a brightly lit basement and ordered a nightcap.
The bar-keeper said there was nothing like a hot-scotch to make you sleep; and a small man with his hat on, who had been talking with the bar-keeper, and coming up to the counter occasionally to eat a bit of cracker or a bit of cheese out of the two bowls full of such fragments that stood at the end of the counter, said that this was so.
The bartender said there was nothing like a hot scotch to help you sleep; and a short man with his hat on, who had been chatting with the bartender and occasionally coming up to the counter to grab a piece of cracker or a bit of cheese from the two bowls filled with such scraps that were at the end of the counter, agreed.
It was very cheerful in the bar-room, with the light glittering on the rows of decanters behind the bar-keeper, a large, stout, clean, pale man in his shirt-sleeves, after the manner of his kind; and Bartley made up his mind to stay there till he was drowsy, and to drink as many hot-scotches as were necessary to the result. He had his drink put on a little table and sat down to it easily, stirring it to cool it a little, and feeling its flattery in his brain from the first sip.
The barroom was lively, with the light shining off the rows of decanters behind the bartender, a big, sturdy, neat, pale man in his shirtsleeves, like many in his trade. Bartley decided to hang out there until he felt drowsy and to drink as many hot scotches as he needed to get there. He set his drink down on a small table and settled into it comfortably, stirring it to cool it down a bit, and he could feel the warmth of it kicking in with the first sip.
The man who was munching cheese and crackers wore a hat rather large for him, pulled down over his eyes. He now said that he did not care if he took a gin-sling, and the bar-keeper promptly set it before him on the counter, and saluted with “Good evening, Colonel,” a large man who came in, carrying a small dog in his arms. Bartley recognized him as the manager of a variety combination playing at one of the theatres, and the manager recognized the little man with the gin-sling as Tommy. He did not return the bar-keeper's salutation, but he asked, as he sat down at a table, “What do I want for supper, Charley?”
The guy munching on cheese and crackers was wearing a hat that was way too big for him, pulled down over his eyes. He then said he didn’t mind having a gin-sling, and the bartender quickly set it down in front of him on the counter, greeting a large man who walked in carrying a small dog in his arms with, “Good evening, Colonel.” Bartley recognized him as the manager of a variety show performing at one of the theaters, and the manager recognized the little guy with the gin-sling as Tommy. He didn’t return the bartender's greeting but asked as he sat down at a table, “What should I have for supper, Charley?”
The bar-keeper said, oracularly, as he leaned forward to wipe his counter with a napkin, “Fricassee chicken.”
The bartender said, with an air of wisdom, as he leaned in to wipe down his counter with a napkin, “Fricassee chicken.”
“Fricassee devil,” returned the manager. “Get me a Welsh rabbit.”
“Fricassee devil,” the manager replied. “Bring me a Welsh rabbit.”
The bar-keeper, unperturbed by this rejection, called into the tube behind him, “One Welsh rabbit.”
The bartender, unfazed by this refusal, called into the tube behind him, “One Welsh rabbit.”
“I want some cold chicken for my dog,” said the manager.
“I want some cold chicken for my dog,” said the manager.
“One cold chicken,” repeated the bar-keeper, in his tube.
"One cold chicken," the bartender repeated, in his tube.
“White meat,” said the manager.
“Chicken,” said the manager.
“White meat,” repeated the bar-keeper.
“White meat,” the bartender repeated.
“I went into the Parker House one night about midnight, and I saw four doctors there eating lobster salad, and devilled crab, and washing it down with champagne; and I made up my mind that the doctors needn't talk to me any more about what was wholesome. I was going in for what was good. And there aint anything better for supper than Welsh rabbit in this world.”
“I walked into the Parker House one night around midnight, and I saw four doctors there eating lobster salad and deviled crab, enjoying it with champagne; and I decided that the doctors didn’t need to lecture me anymore about what's healthy. I was going to indulge in what was good. And there’s nothing better for dinner than Welsh rarebit in this world.”
As the manager addressed this philosophy to the company at large, no one commented upon it, which seemed quite the same to the manager, who hitched one elbow over the back of his chair, and caressed with the other hand the dog lying in his lap.
As the manager shared this philosophy with the whole company, no one said anything about it, which felt the same to the manager, who casually draped one elbow over the back of his chair and gently stroked the dog resting in his lap.
The little man in the large hat continued to walk up and down, leaving his gin-sling on the counter, and drinking it between his visits to the cracker and cheese.
The little man in the big hat kept walking back and forth, leaving his gin and tonic on the counter and sipping it between trips to the crackers and cheese.
“What's that new piece of yours, Colonel?” he asked, after a while. “I aint seen it yet.”
“What's that new piece of yours, Colonel?” he asked after a moment. “I haven't seen it yet.”
“Legs, principally,” sighed the manager. “That's what the public wants. I give the public what it wants. I don't pretend to be any better than the public. Nor any worse,” he added, stroking his dog.
“Legs, mainly,” sighed the manager. “That's what the audience wants. I give the audience what it wants. I don’t act like I'm any better than the audience. Or any worse,” he added, petting his dog.
These ideas struck Bartley in their accordance with his own ideas of journalism, as he had propounded them to Ricker. He had drunk half of his hot-scotch.
These ideas resonated with Bartley because they aligned with his own views on journalism, which he had shared with Ricker. He had consumed half of his hot scotch.
“That's what I say,” assented the little man. “All that a theatre has got to do is to keep even with the public.”
“That's what I say,” agreed the little man. “All a theater has to do is to stay in tune with the audience.”
“That's so, Tommy,” said the manager of a school of morals, with wisdom that impressed more and more the manager of a great moral engine.
“That's right, Tommy,” said the director of a school of morals, with wisdom that increasingly impressed the director of a major moral operation.
“The same principle runs through everything,” observed Bartley, speaking for the first time.
“The same principle runs through everything,” Bartley noted, speaking for the first time.
The drink had stiffened his tongue somewhat, but it did not incommode his utterance; it rather gave dignity to it, and his head was singularly clear. He lifted his empty glass from the table, and, catching the bar-keeper's eye, said, “Do it again.” The man brought it back full.
The drink had made him a bit tongue-tied, but it didn’t hinder his speech; instead, it added a certain dignity to it, and his mind was unusually clear. He picked up his empty glass from the table and, catching the bartender's eye, said, “Do it again.” The man returned with a full glass.
“It runs through the churches as well as the theatres. As long as the public wanted hell-fire, the ministers gave them hell-fire. But you couldn't get hell-fire—not the pure, old-fashioned brimstone article—out of a popular preacher now, for love or money.”
“It runs through the churches as well as the theaters. As long as the public wanted hellfire, the ministers delivered. But you can't get true, old-fashioned brimstone out of a popular preacher now, no matter what.”
The little man said, “I guess you've got about the size of it there”; and the manager laughed.
The little man said, “I think you’ve got it about right there”; and the manager laughed.
“It's just so with the newspapers, too,” said Bartley. “Some newspapers used to stand out against publishing murders, and personal gossip, and divorce trials. There ain't a newspaper that pretends to keep anyways up with the times, now, that don't do it! The public want spice, and they will have it!”
“It's the same with newspapers now,” said Bartley. “Some newspapers used to avoid publishing murders, personal gossip, and divorce trials. There's not a newspaper that claims to stay current these days that doesn't do it! The public wants excitement, and they'll get it!”
“Well, sir,” said the manager, “that's my way of looking at it. I say, if the public don't want Shakespeare, give 'em burlesque till they're sick of it. I believe in what Grant said: 'The quickest way to get rid of a bad law is to enforce it.'”
“Well, sir,” said the manager, “that’s how I see it. I say, if the public doesn’t want Shakespeare, give them burlesque until they’re tired of it. I believe in what Grant said: ‘The fastest way to get rid of a bad law is to enforce it.’”
“That's so,” said the little man, “every time.” He added, to the bar-keeper, that he guessed he would have some brandy and soda, and Bartley found himself at the bottom of his second tumbler. He ordered it replenished.
“That's right,” said the little man, “every time.” He told the bar-keeper that he would like some brandy and soda, and Bartley realized he had finished his second drink. He ordered another one.
The little man seemed to be getting further away. He said, from the distance to which he had withdrawn, “You want to go to bed with three nightcaps on, like an old-clothes man.”
The little man appeared to be moving further away. He said, from the distance he had retreated to, “You want to go to bed with three nightcaps on, like a ragpicker.”
Bartley felt like resenting the freedom, but he was anxious to pour his ideas of journalism into the manager's sympathetic ear, and he began to talk, with an impression that it behooved him to talk fast. His brain was still very clear, but his tongue was getting stiffer. The manager now had his Welsh rabbit before him; but Bartley could not make out how it had got there, nor when. He was talking fast, and he knew, by the way everybody was listening, that he was talking well. Sometimes he left his table, glass in hand, and went and laid down the law to the manager, who smilingly assented to all he said. Once he heard a low growling at his feet, and, looking down, he saw the dog with his plate of cold chicken, that had also been conjured into the room somehow.
Bartley felt a bit resentful of the freedom, but he was eager to share his ideas about journalism with the manager. He started talking, feeling like he needed to speak quickly. His mind was still sharp, but his tongue was starting to feel stiff. The manager had his Welsh rabbit in front of him, but Bartley couldn't figure out how or when it had appeared. He was talking fast, and from the way everyone was paying attention, he knew he was making a good impression. Occasionally, he left his table, glass in hand, to assert his opinions to the manager, who smiled and agreed with everything he said. At one point, he heard a low growl at his feet and, looking down, saw the dog with a plate of cold chicken that had somehow also made its way into the room.
“Look out,” said the manager, “he'll nip you in the leg.”
“Watch out,” said the manager, “he'll bite you in the leg.”
“Curse the dog! he seems to be on all sides of you,” said Bartley. “I can't stand anywhere.”
“Damn the dog! He seems to be everywhere,” said Bartley. “I can't find a place to stand.”
“Better sit down, then,” suggested the manager.
“Better sit down, then,” the manager suggested.
“Good idea,” said the little man, who was still walking up and down. It appeared as if he had not spoken for several hours; his hat was further over his eyes. Bartley had thought he was gone.
“Good idea,” said the little man, who was still pacing back and forth. It seemed like he hadn’t spoken in hours; his hat was pulled down further over his eyes. Bartley had thought he had left.
“What business is it of yours?” he demanded, fiercely, moving towards the little man.
“What’s it to you?” he demanded angrily, stepping toward the little man.
“Come, none of that,” said the bar-keeper, steadily.
“Come on, none of that,” said the bartender, firmly.
Bartley looked at him in amazement. “Where's your hat?” he asked.
Bartley stared at him in disbelief. “Where’s your hat?” he asked.
The others laughed; the bar-keeper smiled.
The others laughed; the bartender smiled.
“Are you a married man?”
“Are you married?”
“Never mind!” said the bar-keeper, severely.
“Forget it!” said the bartender, sternly.
Bartley turned to the little man: “You married?”
Bartley turned to the little man: “Are you married?”
“Not much,” replied the other. He was now topping off with a whiskey-straight.
“Not much,” replied the other. He was now finishing off with a straight whiskey.
Bartley referred himself to the manager: “You?”
Bartley pointed to the manager: “You?”
“Pas si bête,” said the manager, who did his own adapting from the French.
“Not so silly,” said the manager, who did his own adapting from the French.
“Well, you're scholar, and you're gentleman,” said Bartley. The indefinite articles would drop out, in spite of all his efforts to keep them in. “'N I want ask you what you do—to—ask—you—what—would—you—do,” he repeated, with painful exactness, but he failed to make the rest of the sentence perfect, and he pronounced it all in a word, “'fyour-wifelockyouout?”
“Well, you're a scholar, and you're a gentleman,” said Bartley. The indefinite articles kept slipping out, no matter how hard he tried to keep them. “And I want to ask you what you do—to—ask—you—what—would—you—do,” he repeated, with painful precision, but he couldn’t get the rest of the sentence right, and he said it all in one breath, “if your wife locked you out?”
“I'd take a walk,” said the manager.
“I'd go for a walk,” said the manager.
“I'd bu'st the door in,” said the little man.
“I'd bust the door in,” said the little man.
Bartley turned and gazed at him as if the little man were a much more estimable person than he had supposed. He passed his arm through the little man's, which the other had just crooked to lift his whiskey to his mouth. “Look here,” said Bartley, “tha's jus' what I told her. I want you to go home 'th me; I want t' introduce you to my wife.”
Bartley turned and looked at him as if the little man were someone far more admirable than he had thought. He linked his arm with the little man's, who had just bent it to lift his whiskey to his mouth. “Hey,” Bartley said, “that's exactly what I told her. I want you to come home with me; I want to introduce you to my wife.”
“All right,” answered the little man. “Don't care if I do.” He dropped his tumbler to the floor. “Hang it up, Charley, glass and all. Hang up this gentleman's nightcaps—my account. Gentleman asks me home to his house, I'll hang him—I'll get him hung,—well, fix it to suit yourself,—every time!”
“All right,” said the little man. “I don’t mind if I do.” He dropped his glass on the floor. “Put it on my tab, Charley, glass and all. If a guy invites me to his house, I’ll make sure he pays for it—I’ll get him in trouble—well, do whatever you want with it—every time!”
They got themselves out of the door, and the manager said to the bar-keeper, who came round to gather up the fragments of the broken tumbler, “Think his wife will be glad to see 'em, Charley?”
They made their way out the door, and the manager asked the bartender, who came over to pick up the pieces of the broken glass, “Do you think his wife will be happy to see them, Charley?”
“Oh, they'll be taken care of before they reach his house.”
“Oh, they'll be sorted out before they get to his place.”
XXV.
When they were once out under the stars, Bartley, who still, felt his brain clear, said that he would not take his friend home at once, but would show him where he visited when he first came to Boston. The other agreed to the indulgence of this sentiment, and they set out to find Rumford Street together.
When they were out under the stars, Bartley, feeling clear-headed, said he wouldn’t take his friend home right away but would show him where he went when he first arrived in Boston. The other agreed to this little detour, and they set off to find Rumford Street together.
“You've heard of old man Halleck,—Lestor Neather Interest? Tha's place,—there's where I stayed. His son's my frien',—damn stuck-up, supercilious beast he is, too! I do' care f'r him! I'll show you place, so's't you'll know it when you come to it,—'f I can ever find it.”
“You've heard of old man Halleck, right? Lestor Neather Interest? That's the place—I stayed there. His son is my friend, though he's a damn stuck-up, arrogant jerk! I really don't care for him! I'll show you the place so you'll recognize it when you get there—if I can ever find it.”
They walked up and down the street, looking, while Bartley poured his sorrows into the ear of his friend, who grew less and less responsive, and at last ceased from his side altogether. Bartley then dimly perceived that he was himself sitting on a door-step, and that his head was hanging far down between his knees, as if he had been sleeping in that posture.
They strolled back and forth on the street, searching for something, while Bartley shared his troubles with his friend, who became less and less engaged and eventually left his side completely. Bartley then vaguely realized that he was sitting on a doorstep, with his head drooping low between his knees, almost as if he had dozed off in that position.
“Locked out,—locked out of my own door, and by my own wife!” He shed tears, and fell asleep again. From time to time he woke, and bewailed himself to Ricker as a poor boy who had fought his own way; he owned that he had made mistakes, as who had not? Again he was trying to convince Squire Gaylord that they ought to issue a daily edition of the Equity Free Press, and at the same time persuading Mr. Halleck to buy the Events for him, and let him put it on a paying basis. He shivered, sighed, hiccupped, and was dozing off again, when Henry Bird knocked him down, and he fell with a cry, which at last brought to the door the uneasy sleeper, who had been listening to him within, and trying to realize his presence, catching his voice in waking intervals, doubting it, drowsing when it ceased, and then catching it and losing it again.
“Locked out—locked out of my own door, and by my own wife!” He cried and fell asleep again. Occasionally, he woke up and complained to Ricker like a poor kid who had fought hard for himself; he admitted he had made mistakes, just like everyone else. He was trying to convince Squire Gaylord that they should publish a daily edition of the Equity Free Press while also persuading Mr. Halleck to buy the Events for him and let him turn it into a profitable venture. He shivered, sighed, hiccuped, and started dozing off again when Henry Bird knocked him over, and he fell with a cry. This finally stirred the worried sleeper inside, who had been listening to him, trying to grasp his presence, catching his voice during brief moments of wakefulness, doubting it, dozing off when it stopped, and then catching it and losing it again.
“Hello, here! What do you want? Hubbard! Is it you? What in the world are you doing here?”
“Hey, you! What do you want? Hubbard! Is that you? What on earth are you doing here?”
“Halleck,” said Bartley, who was unsteadily straightening himself upon his feet, “glad to find you at home. Been looking for your house all night. Want to introduce you to partic-ic-ular friend of mine. Mr. Halleck, Mr. ——. Curse me if I know your name—”
“Halleck,” said Bartley, trying to hold himself up, “I'm glad to see you at home. I've been searching for your house all night. I want to introduce you to a particular friend of mine. Mr. Halleck, this is Mr. ——. I swear, I can't remember your name—”
“Hold on a minute,” said Halleck.
“Hold on a second,” said Halleck.
He ran into the house for his hat and coat, and came out again, closing the door softly after him. He found Bartley in the grip of a policeman, whom he was asking his name, that he might introduce him to his friend Halleck.
He rushed into the house for his hat and coat, then stepped back outside, gently shutting the door behind him. He spotted Bartley being held by a police officer, who Bartley was asking for his name so he could introduce him to his friend Halleck.
“Do you know this man, Mr. Halleck?” asked the policeman.
“Do you know this guy, Mr. Halleck?” asked the cop.
“Yes,—yes, I know him,” said Ben, in a low voice. “Let's get him away quietly, please. He's all right. It's the first time I ever saw him so. Will you help me with him up to Johnson's stable? I'll get a carriage there and take him home.”
“Yes—yes, I know him,” Ben said quietly. “Let’s get him out of here quietly, please. He’s okay. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him like this. Will you help me take him to Johnson’s stable? I’ll grab a carriage there and take him home.”
They had begun walking Bartley along between them; he dozed, and paid no attention to their talk.
They had started walking Bartley between them; he was dozing and wasn’t paying any attention to their conversation.
The policeman laughed. “I was just going to run him in, when you came out. You didn't come a minute too soon.”
The police officer laughed. “I was about to take him in when you showed up. You arrived just in time.”
They got Bartley to the stable, and he slept heavily in one of the chairs in the office, while the ostlers were putting the horses to the carriage. The policeman remained at the office-door, looking in at Bartley, and philosophizing the situation to Halleck. “Your speakin' about its bein' the first time you ever saw him so made me think 't I rather help take home a regular habitual drunk to his family, any day, than a case like this. They always seem to take it so much harder the first time. Boards with his mother, I presume?”
They got Bartley to the stable, and he slept soundly in one of the chairs in the office while the grooms were getting the horses ready for the carriage. The policeman stayed at the office door, watching Bartley and sharing his thoughts on the situation with Halleck. “Hearing you say it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him like this makes me think I’d rather help take a regular, habitual drunk back to his family any day than deal with a situation like this. They always seem to struggle a lot more the first time. He boards with his mother, I assume?”
“He's married,” said Halleck? sadly. “He has a house of his own.”
“He's married,” Halleck said sadly. “He has his own house.”
“Well!” said the policeman.
“Well!” said the cop.
Bartley slept all the way to Clover Street, and when the carriage stopped at his door, they had difficulty in waking him sufficiently to get him out.
Bartley slept through the whole ride to Clover Street, and when the carriage stopped at his house, they had a hard time waking him up enough to get him out.
“Don't come in, please,” said Halleck to the policeman, when this was done. “The man will carry you back to your beat. Thank you, ever so much!”
“Please don’t come in,” Halleck said to the policeman once this was done. “The man will take you back to your beat. Thank you very much!”
“All right, Mr. Halleck. Don't mention it,” said the policeman, and leaned back in the hack with an air of luxury, as it rumbled softly away.
“All right, Mr. Halleck. No problem,” said the policeman, leaning back in the cab with a feeling of comfort as it slowly rolled away.
Halleck remained on the pavement with Bartley falling limply against him in the dim light of the dawn. “What you want? What you doing with me?” he demanded with sullen stupidity.
Halleck stayed on the pavement with Bartley leaning weakly against him in the faint light of dawn. “What do you want? What are you doing with me?” he asked with sulky ignorance.
“I've got you home, Hubbard. Here we are at your house.” He pulled him across the pavement to the threshold, and put his hand on the bell, but the door was thrown open before he could ring, and Marcia stood there, with her face white, and her eyes red with watching and crying.
“I’ve got you home, Hubbard. Here we are at your house.” He pulled him across the pavement to the front door and was about to press the doorbell, but before he could ring it, the door swung open. Marcia stood there, her face pale, and her eyes red from staying up and crying.
“Oh, Bartley! oh, Bartley!” she sobbed. “Oh, Mr. Halleck! what is it? Is he hurt? I did it,—yes, I did it! It's my fault! Oh! will he die? Is he sick?”
“Oh, Bartley! oh, Bartley!” she cried. “Oh, Mr. Halleck! What’s happening? Is he hurt? It’s my fault! Oh! Will he die? Is he sick?”
“He isn't very well. He'd better go to bed,” said Halleck.
“He's not feeling great. He should probably go to bed,” said Halleck.
“Yes, yes! I will help you upstairs with him.”
“Yes, yes! I’ll help you take him upstairs.”
“Do' need any help,” said Bartley, sulkily. “Go upstairs myself.”
“Don’t need any help,” Bartley said, sulking. “I’ll go upstairs myself.”
He actually did so, with the help of the hand-rail, Marcia running before, to open the door, and smooth the pillows which her head had not touched, and Halleck following him to catch him if he should fall. She unlaced his shoes and got them off, while Halleck removed his coat.
He actually did that, using the handrail for support, while Marcia went ahead to open the door and fluff the pillows that she hadn't laid her head on, with Halleck following to catch him if he stumbled. She untied his shoes and took them off, while Halleck took off his coat.
“Oh, Bartley! where do you feel badly, dear? Oh I what shall I do?” she moaned, as he tumbled himself on the bed, and lapsed into a drunken stupor.
“Oh, Bartley! Where do you feel hurt, dear? Oh, what should I do?” she moaned, as he threw himself on the bed and fell into a drunken stupor.
“Better—better come out, Mrs. Hubbard,” said Halleck. “Better let him alone, now. You only make him worse, talking to him.”
“It's better if you come out, Mrs. Hubbard,” Halleck said. “You should just leave him alone now. Talking to him is only making things worse.”
Quelled by the mystery of his manner, she followed him out and down the stairs. “Oh, do tell me what it is,” she implored, in a low voice, “or I shall go wild! But tell me, and I can bear it! I can bear anything if I know what it is!” She came close to him in her entreaty, and fixed her eyes beseechingly on his, while she caught his hand in both of hers. “Is he—is he insane?”
Quelled by the mystery of his manner, she followed him out and down the stairs. “Oh, please tell me what it is,” she begged, in a low voice, “or I’ll go crazy! But just tell me, and I can handle it! I can handle anything if I know what it is!” She moved closer to him in her plea and looked at him with pleading eyes, while she held his hand in both of hers. “Is he— is he insane?”
“He isn't quite in his right mind, Mrs. Hubbard,” Halleck began, softly releasing himself, and retreating a little from her; but she pursued him, and put her hand on his arm.
“He's not really in his right mind, Mrs. Hubbard,” Halleck started, gently pulling away and stepping back from her; but she followed him and placed her hand on his arm.
“Oh, then go for the doctor,—go instantly! Don't lose a minute! I shall not be afraid to stay alone. Or if you think I'd better not, I will go for the doctor myself.”
“Oh, then go get the doctor—go right now! Don't waste a second! I won't be scared to stay by myself. Or if you think I shouldn't, I can go get the doctor myself.”
“No, no,” said Halleck, smiling sadly: the case certainly had its ludicrous side. “He doesn't need a doctor. You mustn't think of calling a doctor. Indeed you mustn't. He'll come out all right of himself. If you sent for a doctor, it would make him very angry.”
“No, no,” Halleck said with a sad smile. “There’s definitely a funny side to this. He doesn’t need a doctor. You shouldn’t even think about calling one. Seriously, don’t. He’ll be fine on his own. If you called a doctor, it would really upset him.”
She burst into tears. “Well, I will do what you say,” she cried. “It would never have happened, if it hadn't been for me. I want to tell you what I did,” she went on wildly. “I want to tell—”
She started crying. “Okay, I’ll do what you say,” she said. “None of this would have happened if it weren’t for me. I need to confess what I did,” she continued frantically. “I want to tell—”
“Please don't tell me anything, Mrs. Hubbard! It will all come right—and very soon. It isn't anything to be alarmed about. He'll be well in a few hours. I—ah—Good by.” He had found his cane, and he made a limp toward the door, but she swiftly interposed herself.
“Please don't tell me anything, Mrs. Hubbard! Everything will be okay—and very soon. There's no need to worry. He'll be fine in a few hours. I—uh—Goodbye.” He had located his cane and started to limp toward the door, but she quickly stepped in his way.
“Why,” she panted, in mixed reproach and terror, “you're not going away? You're not going to leave me before Bartley is well? He may get worse,—he may die! You mustn't go, Mr. Halleck!”
“Why,” she gasped, with a mix of anger and fear, “you're not leaving, are you? You can't leave me before Bartley is better! He could get worse—he might die! You can't go, Mr. Halleck!”
“Yes, I must,—I can't stay,—I oughtn't to stay,—it won't do! He won't get worse, he won't die.” The perspiration broke out on Halleck's face, which he lifted to hers with a distress as great as her own.
“Yes, I have to go—I can’t stay—I shouldn’t stay—it’s not right! He's not going to get worse, he’s not going to die.” Sweat formed on Halleck's face, which he turned toward hers, sharing her deep distress.
She only answered, “I can't let you go; it would kill me. I wonder at your wanting to go.”
She just replied, “I can’t let you leave; it would destroy me. I’m surprised you want to go.”
There was something ghastly comical in it all, and Halleck stood in fear of its absurdity hardly less than of its tragedy. He rapidly revolved in his mind the possibilities of the case. He thought at first that it might be well to call a doctor, and, having explained the situation to him, pay him to remain in charge; but he reflected that it would be insulting to ask a doctor to see a man in Hubbard's condition. He took out his watch, and saw that it was six o'clock; and he said, desperately, “You can send for me, if you get anxious—”
There was something ridiculously funny about the whole situation, and Halleck felt just as afraid of its absurdity as he did of its tragedy. He quickly considered the possible options. At first, he thought it might be a good idea to call a doctor, explain the situation, and pay him to take charge. But then he realized it would be insulting to ask a doctor to see a man in Hubbard's state. He checked his watch and saw that it was six o'clock; he said, in desperation, “You can call for me if you start to worry—”
“I can't let you go!”
"I can't let you leave!"
“I must really get my breakfast—”
“I really need to get my breakfast—”
“The girl will get something for you here! Oh, don't go away!” Her lip began to quiver again, and her bosom to rise.
“The girl will get something for you here! Oh, don't go away!” Her lip started to tremble again, and her chest began to rise.
He could not bear it. “Mrs. Hubbard, will you believe what I say?”
He couldn't stand it. “Mrs. Hubbard, will you believe me?”
“Yes,” she faltered, reluctantly.
“Yeah,” she hesitated, reluctantly.
“Well, I tell you that Mr. Hubbard is in no sort of danger; and I know that it would be extremely offensive to him if I stayed.”
“Well, I’m telling you that Mr. Hubbard is in no danger at all; and I know it would really upset him if I stuck around.”
“Then you must go,” she answered promptly, and opened the door, which she had closed for fear he might escape. “I will send for a doctor.”
“Then you have to go,” she replied quickly, and opened the door, which she had shut to keep him from running away. “I’ll call a doctor.”
“No; don't send for a doctor, don't send for anybody don't speak of the matter to any one: it would be very mortifying to him. It's merely a—a—kind of—seizure, that a great many people—men—are subject to; but he wouldn't like to have it known.” He saw that his words were making an impression upon her; perhaps her innocence was beginning to divine the truth. “Will you do what I say?”
“No; don't call a doctor, don’t reach out to anyone and don’t mention this to anyone: it would be really embarrassing for him. It's just a kind of seizure that a lot of men experience; but he wouldn’t want it to be public knowledge.” He noticed that his words were having an impact on her; maybe her innocence was starting to sense the truth. “Will you do what I’m asking?”
“Yes,” she murmured.
“Yes,” she said softly.
Her head began to droop, and her face to turn away in a dawning shame too cruel for him to see.
Her head started to lower, and her face turned away in a growing shame too painful for him to witness.
“I—I will come back as soon as I get my breakfast, to make sure that everything is right.”
“I—I’ll be back as soon as I grab my breakfast to make sure everything’s okay.”
She let him find his own way out, and Halleck issued upon the street, as miserable as if the disgrace were his own. It was easy enough for him to get back into his own room without alarming the family. He ate his breakfast absently, and then went out while the others were still at table.
She let him find his own way out, and Halleck came out onto the street, feeling as miserable as if the shame belonged to him. It was easy for him to slip back into his room without worrying the family. He ate his breakfast distractedly, and then left while the others were still at the table.
“I don't think Ben seems very well,” said his mother, anxiously, and she looked to her husband for the denial he always gave.
“I don’t think Ben seems very well,” said his mother anxiously, looking to her husband for the denial he always provided.
“Oh, I guess he's all right. What's the matter with him?”
“Oh, I think he's fine. What's wrong with him?”
“It's nothing but his ridiculous, romantic way of taking the world to heart,” Olive interposed. “You may be sure he's troubled about something that doesn't concern him in the least. It's what comes of the life-long conscientiousness of his parents. If Ben doesn't turn out a philanthropist of the deepest dye yet, you'll have me to thank for it. I see more and more every day that I was providentially born wicked, so as to keep this besottedly righteous family's head above water.”
“It's just his silly, romantic way of caring too much about the world,” Olive interrupted. “You can bet he's worried about something that doesn't even involve him. It's the result of his parents' lifelong dedication to doing what's right. If Ben doesn't end up being a full-on philanthropist, you can blame me for that. I'm realizing more and more every day that I was strangely born bad just to keep this overly righteous family afloat.”
She feigned an angry impatience with the condition of things; but when her father went out, she joined her mother in earnest conjectures as to what Ben had on his mind.
She pretended to be angrily impatient with how things were going; but when her father left, she joined her mother in serious speculation about what Ben was thinking.
Halleck wandered about till nearly ten o'clock, and then he went to the little house on Clover Street. The servant-girl answered his ring, and when he asked for Mrs. Hubbard, she said that Mr. Hubbard wished to see him, and please would he step upstairs.
Halleck walked around until almost ten o'clock, then he headed to the small house on Clover Street. The maid answered his doorbell, and when he asked for Mrs. Hubbard, she said that Mr. Hubbard wanted to see him and asked if he would please go upstairs.
He found Bartley seated at the window, with a wet towel round his head, and his face pale with headache.
He found Bartley sitting by the window, with a wet towel wrapped around his head, and his face pale from a headache.
“Well, old man,” he said, with an assumption of comradery that was nauseous to Halleck, “you've done the handsome thing by me. I know all about it. I knew something about it all the time.” He held out his hand, without rising, and Halleck forced himself to touch it. “I appreciate your delicacy in not telling my wife. Of course you couldn't tell,” he said, with depraved enjoyment of what he conceived of Halleck's embarrassment. “But I guess she must have smelt a rat. As the fellow says,” he added, seeing the disgust that Halleck could not keep out of his face, “I shall make a clean breast of it, as soon as she can bear it. She's pretty high-strung. Lying down, now,” he explained. “You see, I went out to get something to make me sleep, and the first thing I knew I had got too much. Good thing I turned up on your doorstep; might have been waltzing into the police court about now. How did you happen to hear me?”
“Well, old man,” he said, with a false sense of camaraderie that made Halleck feel sick, “you really did me a solid. I know all about it. I had a feeling about it all along.” He extended his hand without getting up, and Halleck forced himself to shake it. “I appreciate your thoughtfulness in not telling my wife. Of course you couldn't tell,” he said, taking twisted pleasure in Halleck's discomfort. “But I guess she must have caught on. As they say,” he added, noticing the disgust on Halleck’s face, “I’ll come clean as soon as she can handle it. She’s pretty sensitive. Lying down now,” he explained. “You see, I went out to grab something to help me sleep, and before I knew it, I had overdone it. Good thing I showed up at your place; I might have been heading to the police station by now. How did you find out?”
Halleck briefly explained, with an air of abhorrence for the facts.
Halleck quickly explained, with a sense of disgust for the facts.
“Yes, I remember most of it,” said Bartley. “Well, I want to thank you, Halleck. You've saved me from disgrace,—from ruin, for all I know. Whew! how my head aches!” he said, making an appeal to Halleck's pity, with closed eyes. “Halleck,” he murmured, feebly, “I wish you would do me a favor.”
“Yes, I remember most of it,” Bartley said. “Anyway, I want to thank you, Halleck. You've saved me from disgrace—maybe even from total ruin. Whew! My head hurts so much!” he said, appealing to Halleck's sympathy, with his eyes shut. “Halleck,” he murmured weakly, “I hope you can do me a favor.”
“Yes? What is it?” asked Halleck, dryly.
“Yeah? What’s up?” Halleck asked, dryly.
“Go round to the Events office and tell old Witherby that I sha'n't be able to put in an appearance to-day. I'm not up to writing a note, even; and he'd feel flattered at your coming personally. It would make it all right for me.”
“Swing by the Events office and let old Witherby know that I won’t be able to make it today. I'm not even up for writing a note, and he’d appreciate you coming by in person. It would smooth things over for me.”
“Of course I will go,” said Halleck.
“Of course I will go,” Halleck said.
“Thanks,” returned Bartley, plaintively, with his eyes closed.
“Thanks,” Bartley replied softly, with his eyes closed.
XXVI.
Bartley would willingly have passed this affair over with Marcia, like some of their quarrels, and allowed a reconciliation to effect itself through mere lapse of time and daily custom. But there were difficulties in the way to such an end; his shameful escapade had given the quarrel a character of its own, which could not be ignored. He must keep his word about making a clean breast of it to Marcia, whether he liked or not; but she facilitated his confession by the meek and dependent fashion in which she hovered about, anxious to do something or anything for him. If, as he suggested to Halleck, she had divined the truth, she evidently did not hold him wholly to blame for what had happened, and he was not without a self-righteous sense of having given her a useful and necessary lesson. He was inclined to a severity to which his rasped and shaken nerves contributed, when he spoke to her that night, as they sat together after tea; she had some sewing in her lap, little mysteries of soft muslin for the baby, which she was edging with lace, and her head drooped over her work, as if she could not confront him with her swollen eyes.
Bartley would have happily let things go with Marcia, like some of their arguments, and hoped that time and routine would heal the rift. But there were obstacles to that; his embarrassing incident had given their fight a unique intensity that couldn’t be overlooked. He needed to keep his promise to come clean with Marcia, whether he wanted to or not; however, she made it easier for him to confess by the way she softly hovered around, eager to do anything for him. If, as he mentioned to Halleck, she had sensed the truth, she clearly didn’t blame him entirely for what had occurred, and he felt a bit self-righteous about having taught her a valuable lesson. He felt a harshness, fueled by his frayed and shaken nerves, when he spoke to her that night after tea; she had some sewing in her lap, delicate pieces of soft muslin for the baby that she was trimming with lace, and her head was downcast over her work as if she couldn’t face him with her puffy eyes.
“Look here, Marcia,” he said, “do you know what was the matter with me this morning?”
“Hey, Marcia,” he said, “do you know what was wrong with me this morning?”
She did not answer in words; her hands quivered a moment; then she caught up the things out of her lap, and sobbed into them. The sight unmanned Bartley; he hated to see any one cry,—even his wife, to whose tears he was accustomed. He dropped down beside her on the sofa, and pulled her head over on his shoulder.
She didn’t respond verbally; her hands trembled for a moment, and then she gathered the things from her lap and cried into them. Seeing this made Bartley feel helpless; he couldn’t stand to see anyone cry—even his wife, whose tears he was used to. He sat down next to her on the couch and rested her head on his shoulder.
“It was my fault! it was my fault, Bartley!” she sobbed. “Oh, how can I ever get over it?”
“It was my fault! It was my fault, Bartley!” she cried. “Oh, how will I ever get over this?”
“Well, don't cry, don't cry! It wasn't altogether your fault,” returned Bartley. “We were both to blame.”
“Well, don’t cry, don’t cry! It wasn’t entirely your fault,” Bartley replied. “We both share the blame.”
“No! I began it. If I hadn't broken my promise about speaking of Hannah Morrison, it never would have happened.” This was so true that Bartley could not gainsay it. “But I couldn't seem to help it; and you were—you were—so quick with me; you didn't give me time to think; you—But I was the one to blame, I was to blame!”
“No! I started it. If I hadn't broken my promise about talking about Hannah Morrison, it never would have happened.” This was so true that Bartley couldn't argue with it. “But I couldn't help it; and you were—you were—so fast with me; you didn't give me time to think; you—But I was the one to blame, I was to blame!”
“Oh, well, never mind about it; don't take on so,” coaxed Bartley. “It's all over now, and it can't be helped. And I can promise you,” he added, “that it shall never happen again, no matter what you do,” and in making this promise he felt the glow of virtuous performance. “I think we've both had a lesson. I suppose,” he continued sadly, as one might from impersonal reflection upon the temptations and depravity of large cities, “that it's common enough. I dare say it isn't the first time Ben Halleck has taken a fellow home in a hack.” Bartley got so much comfort from the conjecture he had thrown out for Marcia's advantage, that he felt a sort of self-approval in the fact with which he followed it up. “And there's this consolation about it, if there isn't any other: that it wouldn't have happened now, if it had ever happened before.”
“Oh, well, never mind about it; don’t stress so much,” Bartley said gently. “It’s all over now, and it can’t be changed. And I promise you,” he added, “that it will never happen again, no matter what you do,” and as he made this promise, he felt a sense of virtuous accomplishment. “I think we’ve both learned a lesson. I suppose,” he continued sadly, as one might reflect on the temptations and corruption of big cities, “that it’s pretty common. I bet it’s not the first time Ben Halleck has taken someone home in a cab.” Bartley found so much comfort in the assumption he had made for Marcia’s benefit that he felt a kind of self-satisfaction with the fact that followed. “And here’s one comforting thought, if there are no others: that it wouldn’t have happened now if it had ever happened before.”
Marcia lifted her head and looked into his face: “What—what do you mean, Bartley?”
Marcia raised her head and looked into his face. “What do you mean, Bartley?”
“I mean that I never was overcome before in my life by—wine.” He delicately avoided saying whiskey.
“I mean that I’ve never been overwhelmed in my life by—wine.” He carefully avoided saying whiskey.
“Well?” she demanded.
“Well?” she asked.
“Why, don't you see? If I'd had the habit of drinking, I shouldn't have been affected by it.”
“Why can't you see? If I had the habit of drinking, it wouldn’t have bothered me.”
“I don't understand,” she said, anxiously.
“I don’t get it,” she said, nervously.
“Why, I knew I shouldn't be able to sleep, I was so mad at you—”
“Honestly, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep because I was so angry with you—”
“Oh!”
“Oh!”
“And I dropped into the hotel bar-room for a nightcap,—for something to make me sleep.”
“And I stopped by the hotel bar for a nightcap—something to help me sleep.”
“Yes, yes!” she urged eagerly.
“Absolutely!” she urged eagerly.
“I took what wouldn't have touched a man that was in the habit of it.”
“I took what a guy like that wouldn’t have touched.”
“Poor Bartley!”
"Poor Bartley!"
“And the first thing I knew I had got too much. I was drunk,—wild drunk,” he said with magnanimous frankness.
“And the first thing I knew, I had too much. I was drunk—completely wasted,” he said with generous honesty.
She had been listening intensely, exculpating him at every point, and now his innocence all flashed upon her. “I see! I see!” she cried. “And it was because you had never tasted it before—”
She had been listening carefully, defending him at every turn, and now his innocence hit her all at once. “I get it! I get it!” she exclaimed. “And it was because you had never experienced it before—”
“Well, I had tasted it once or twice,” interrupted Bartley, with heroic veracity.
“Well, I had tasted it once or twice,” Bartley interrupted, speaking with great honesty.
“No matter! It was because you had never more than hardly tasted it that a very little overcame you in an instant. I see!” she repeated, contemplating him in her ecstasy, as the one habitually sober man in a Boston full of inebriates. “And now I shall never regret it; I shall never care for it; I never shall think about it again! Or, yes! I shall always remember it, because it shows—because it proves that you are always strictly temperance. It was worth happening for that. I am glad it happened!”
“No worries! It was because you had barely tasted it that just a little overwhelmed you so quickly. I get it!” she repeated, looking at him in her excitement, like the only sober person in a Boston full of drunks. “And now I’ll never regret it; I won’t care about it; I won’t think about it again! Or, actually! I’ll always remember it because it shows—because it proves that you’re always completely sober. It was worth it just for that. I’m glad it happened!”
She rose from his side, and took her sewing nearer the lamp, and resumed her work upon it with shining eyes.
She got up from his side, moved her sewing closer to the lamp, and continued working on it with bright eyes.
Bartley remained in his place on the sofa, feeling, and perhaps looking, rather sheepish. He had made a clean breast of it, and the confession had redounded only too much to his credit. To do him justice, he had not intended to bring the affair to quite such a triumphant conclusion; and perhaps something better than his sense of humor was also touched when he found himself not only exonerated, but transformed into an exemplar of abstinence.
Bartley stayed on the sofa, feeling, and maybe looking, a bit embarrassed. He had come clean about everything, and his honesty had earned him quite a bit of respect. To be fair, he hadn’t planned for the situation to end so well; and maybe it wasn’t just his sense of humor that was affected when he realized he was not only cleared of blame but also seen as a role model for self-control.
“Well,” he said, “it isn't exactly a thing to be glad of, but it certainly isn't a thing to worry yourself about. You know the worst of it, and you know the best of it. It never happened before, and it never shall happen again; that's all. Don't lament over it, don't accuse yourself; just let it go, and we'll both see what we can do after this in the way of behaving better.”
“Well,” he said, “it's not exactly something to be happy about, but it definitely isn't something to stress over. You know the worst of it, and you know the best of it. It’s never happened before, and it won’t happen again; that’s all. Don't dwell on it, don't blame yourself; just move on, and we’ll both see what we can do from here to act better.”
He rose from the sofa, and began to walk about the room.
He got up from the couch and started to walk around the room.
“Does your head still ache?” she asked, fondly. “I wish I could do something for it!”
“Does your head still hurt?” she asked, affectionately. “I wish I could do something to help!”
“Oh, I shall sleep it off,” returned Bartley.
“Oh, I’ll sleep it off,” Bartley replied.
She followed him with her eyes. “Bartley!”
She watched him closely. “Bartley!”
“Well?”
"What's up?"
“Do you suppose—do you believe—that Mr. Halleck—that he was ever—”
“Do you think—do you believe—that Mr. Halleck—that he was ever—”
“No, Marcia, I don't,” said Bartley, stopping. “I know he never was. Ben Halleck is slow; but he's good. I couldn't imagine his being drunk any more than I could imagine your being so. I'd willingly sacrifice his reputation to console you,” added Bartley, with a comical sense of his own regret that Halleck was not, for the occasion, an habitual drunkard, “but I cannot tell a lie.” He looked at her with a smile, and broke into a sudden laugh. “No, my dear, the only person I think of just now as having suffered similarly with myself is the great and good Andrew Johnson. Did you ever hear of him?”
“No, Marcia, I don't,” Bartley said, stopping. “I know he never was. Ben Halleck is slow, but he's solid. I couldn’t imagine him being drunk any more than I could picture you being like that. I’d gladly sacrifice his reputation to make you feel better,” Bartley added, with a humorous awareness of his own disappointment that Halleck wasn’t, for this moment, an habitual drunkard, “but I can’t lie.” He looked at her with a smile and suddenly burst into laughter. “No, my dear, the only person I’m thinking of right now who has suffered like I have is the great and good Andrew Johnson. Have you ever heard of him?”
“Was he the one they impeached?” she faltered, not knowing what Bartley would be at, but smiling faintly in sympathy with his mirth.
“Was he the one they impeached?” she hesitated, unsure of what Bartley was getting at, but smiling faintly in sympathy with his laughter.
“He was the one they impeached. He was the one who was overcome by wine on his inauguration day, because he had never been overcome before. It's a parallel case!” Bartley got a great deal more enjoyment out of the parallel case than Marcia. The smile faded from her face.
“He was the one they impeached. He was the one who got really drunk on his inauguration day because he had never been drunk before. It's a parallel case!” Bartley found a lot more enjoyment in the parallel case than Marcia did. The smile faded from her face.
“Come, come,” he coaxed, “be satisfied with Andrew Johnson, and let Halleck go. Ah, Marcia!” he added, seriously, “Ben Halleck is the kind of man you ought to have married! Don't you suppose that I know I'm not good enough for you? I'm pretty good by fits and starts; but he would have been good right straight along. I should never have had to bring him home in a hack to you!”
“Come on,” he urged, “be happy with Andrew Johnson, and forget about Halleck. Ah, Marcia!” he said earnestly, “Ben Halleck is the kind of guy you should have married! Don’t you think I know I’m not good enough for you? I can be decent sometimes, but he would have been consistently good. I should never have had to bring him home in a cab to you!”
His generous admission had the just effect. “Hush, Bartley! Don't talk so! You know that you're better for me than the best man in the world, dear, and even if you were not, I should love you the best. Don't talk, please, that way, of any one else, or it will make me hate you!”
His heartfelt admission had the desired effect. “Hush, Bartley! Don’t talk like that! You know you mean more to me than anyone else in the world, sweetheart, and even if you didn’t, I would still love you the most. Please, don’t say things like that about anyone else, or it will make me resent you!”
He liked that; and after all he was not without an obscure pride in his last night's adventure as a somewhat hazardous but decided assertion of manly supremacy. It was not a thing to be repeated; but for once in a way it was not wholly to be regretted, especially as he was so well out of it.
He liked that; and after all, he felt a bit of hidden pride about last night's adventure, viewing it as a risky but clear demonstration of manly dominance. It wasn't something he'd do again; but for once, it wasn't entirely regrettable, especially since he had come out of it so well.
He pulled up a chair in front of her, and began to joke about the things she had in her lap; and the shameful and sorrowful day ended in the bliss of a more perfect peace between them than they had known since the troubles of their married life began. “I tell you,” said Bartley to Marcia, “I shall stick to tivoli after this, religiously.”
He pulled up a chair in front of her and started joking about what she had in her lap. That shameful and sorrowful day ended with a deeper sense of peace between them than they had experienced since the troubles in their marriage began. “I tell you,” Bartley said to Marcia, “from now on, I’m going to stick to Tivoli, no question about it.”
It was several weeks later that Halleck limped into Atherton's lodgings, and dropped into one of his friend's easy-chairs. The room had a bachelor comfort of aspect, and the shaded lamp on the table shed a mellow light on the green leather-covered furniture, wrinkled and creased, and worn full of such hospitable hollows as that which welcomed Halleck. Some packages of law papers were scattered about on the table; but the hour of the night had come when a lawyer permits himself a novel. Atherton looked up from his as Halleck entered, and stretched out a hand, which the latter took on his way to the easy-chair across the table.
It was several weeks later when Halleck limped into Atherton's place and collapsed into one of his friend's comfy chairs. The room had a bachelor vibe, and the shaded lamp on the table cast a warm glow on the green leather furniture, which was wrinkled and worn with welcoming dips just right for Halleck. A few stacks of law papers were scattered across the table, but it was that time of night when a lawyer allows himself to read a novel. Atherton glanced up from his book as Halleck walked in and reached out a hand, which Halleck took on his way to the chair across the table.
“How do you do?” said Atherton, after allowing him to sit for a certain time in the silence, which expressed better than words the familiarity that existed between them in spite of the lawyer's six or seven years of seniority.
“How are you?” said Atherton, after letting him sit in silence for a while, which communicated their familiarity better than words, despite the lawyer being six or seven years older.
Halleck leaned forward and tapped the floor with his stick; then he fell back again, and laid his cane across the arms of his chair, and drew a long breath. “Atherton,” he said, “if you had found a blackguard of your acquaintance drunk on your doorstep early one morning, and had taken him home to his wife, how would you have expected her to treat you the next time you saw her?”
Halleck leaned forward and tapped the floor with his cane; then he fell back again, laid his cane across the arms of his chair, and took a deep breath. “Atherton,” he said, “if you found a jerk you know passed out on your doorstep one morning and took him home to his wife, how would you expect her to react the next time you saw her?”
The lawyer was too much used to the statement, direct and hypothetical, of all sorts of cases, to be startled at this. He smiled slightly, and said, “That would depend a good deal upon the lady.”
The lawyer was so accustomed to dealing with all kinds of cases, both real and hypothetical, that he wasn’t surprised by this. He smiled a little and said, “That would largely depend on the lady.”
“Oh, but generalize! From what you know of women as Woman, what should you expect? Shouldn't you expect her to make you pay somehow for your privity to her disgrace, to revenge her misery upon you? Isn't there a theory that women forgive injuries, but never ignominies?”
“Oh, but generalize! Based on what you know about women as a whole, what should you expect? Shouldn't you expect her to make you pay in some way for knowing about her disgrace, to take revenge for her suffering on you? Isn't there a theory that women forgive injuries, but never humiliations?”
“That's what the novelists teach, and we bachelors get most of our doctrine about women from them.” He closed his novel on the paper-cutter, and, laying the book upon the table, clasped his hands together at the back of his head. “We don't go to nature for our impressions; but neither do the novelists, for that matter. Now and then, however, in the way of business, I get a glimpse of realities that make me doubt my prophets. Who had this experience?”
“That's what the novelists teach, and us bachelors get most of our ideas about women from them.” He shut his novel with the paper-cutter and, placing the book on the table, clasped his hands behind his head. “We don’t look to nature for our impressions; but then again, neither do the novelists. Every now and then, though, through my work, I catch a glimpse of realities that make me question my sources. Who else has gone through this?”
“I did.”
"I did."
“I'm sorry for that,” said Atherton.
“I'm sorry about that,” said Atherton.
“Yes,” returned Halleck, with whimsical melancholy; “I'm not particularly adapted for it. But I don't know that it would be a very pleasant experience for anybody.”
“Yes,” Halleck replied, with a touch of whimsical sadness; “I’m not really suited for it. But I can’t imagine it would be a very enjoyable experience for anyone.”
He paused drearily, and Atherton said, “And how did she actually treat you?”
He paused wearily, and Atherton asked, “So how did she really treat you?”
“I hardly know. I hadn't been at the pains to look them up since the thing happened, and I had been carrying their squalid secret round for a fortnight, and suffering from it as if it were all my own.”
“I hardly know. I hadn't bothered to look them up since it happened, and I had been carrying their dirty secret around for two weeks, suffering from it as if it were all my fault.”
Atherton smiled at the touch of self-characterization.
Atherton smiled at the self-description.
“When I met her and her husband and her baby to-day,—a family party,—well, she made me ashamed of the melodramatic compassion I had been feeling for her. It seemed that I had been going about unnecessarily, not to say impertinently, haggard with the recollection of her face as I saw it when she opened the door for her blackguard and me that morning. She looked as if nothing unusual had happened at our last meeting. I couldn't brace up all at once: I behaved like a sneak, in view of her serenity.”
“When I met her, her husband, and their baby today—a family gathering—well, she made me feel embarrassed about the overly dramatic sympathy I had been holding for her. It felt like I had been walking around unnecessarily, not to mention rudely, worn out by the memory of her face as I saw it when she opened the door for her jerk and me that morning. She looked like nothing unusual had happened since our last meeting. I couldn’t pull myself together all at once; I acted like a coward in light of her calmness.”
“Perhaps nothing unusual had happened,” suggested Atherton.
“Maybe nothing unusual has happened,” suggested Atherton.
“No, that theory isn't tenable,” said Halleck. “It was the one fact in the blackguard's favor that she had evidently never seen him in that state before, and didn't know what was the matter. She was wild at first; she wanted to send for a doctor. I think towards the last she began to suspect. But I don't know how she looked then: I couldn't look at her.” He stopped as if still in the presence of the pathetic figure, with its sidelong, drooping head.
“No, that theory doesn't hold up,” said Halleck. “It was the one thing that worked in the jerk's favor: she clearly had never seen him like that before and had no idea what was wrong. At first, she was frantic; she wanted to call a doctor. I think by the end she started to have her suspicions. But I can't say how she looked then: I couldn't bring myself to look at her.” He paused as if he were still facing the sad figure, with its tilted, drooping head.
Atherton respected his silence a moment before he again suggested, as lightly as before, “Perhaps she is magnanimous.”
Atherton respected his silence for a moment before he lightly suggested again, “Maybe she’s generous.”
“No,” said Halleck, with the effect of having also given that theory consideration. “She's not magnanimous, poor soul. I fancy she is rather a narrow-minded person, with strict limitations in regard to people who think ill—or too well—of her husband.”
“No,” said Halleck, as if he had thought about that theory too. “She’s not generous, poor thing. I think she’s pretty narrow-minded, with strict limits on how people perceive her husband—whether it’s negatively or overly positively.”
“Then perhaps,” said Atherton, with the air of having exhausted conjecture, “she's obtuse.”
“Then maybe,” said Atherton, sounding like he'd run out of guesses, “she's just not getting it.”
“I have tried, to think that too,” replied Halleck, “but I can't manage it. No, there are only two ways out of it; the fellow has abused her innocence and made her believe it's a common and venial affair to be brought home in that state, or else she's playing a part. He's capable of telling her that neither you nor I, for example, ever go to bed sober. But she isn't obtuse: I fancy she's only too keen in all the sensibilities that women suffer through; and I'd rather think that he had deluded her in that way, than that she was masquerading about it, or she strikes me as an uncommonly truthful person. I suppose you know whom I'm talking about, Atherton?” he said, with a sudden look at his friend's face across the table.
“I've tried to think about that too,” Halleck replied, “but I can't figure it out. There are only two possibilities; the guy has taken advantage of her innocence and convinced her that it’s normal and no big deal to be brought home like that, or she’s just pretending. He’s capable of telling her that neither you nor I, for instance, ever go to bed sober. But she’s not clueless: I think she’s very aware of all the emotional struggles women go through; and I’d rather believe he tricked her in that way than believe she’s playing a role, because she seems like a genuinely honest person. I assume you know who I’m talking about, Atherton?” he said, glancing suddenly at his friend’s face across the table.
“Yes, I know,” said the lawyer. “I'm sorry it's come to this already. Though I suppose you're not altogether surprised.”
“Yes, I know,” said the lawyer. “I’m sorry it’s come to this already. Though I guess you’re not completely surprised.”
“No; something of the kind was to be expected,” Halleck sighed, and rolled his cane up and down on the arms of his chair. “I hope we know the worst.”
“No; something like that was to be expected,” Halleck sighed, rolling his cane up and down on the arms of his chair. “I hope we know the worst.”
“Perhaps we do. But I recollect a wise remark you made the first time we talked of these people,” said Atherton, replying to the mood rather than the speech of his friend. “You suggested that we rather liked to grieve over the pretty girls that other fellows marry, and that we never thought of the plain ones as suffering.”
“Maybe we do. But I remember something wise you said the first time we discussed these people,” Atherton said, responding more to his friend's mood than his words. “You mentioned that we tend to feel sorry for the pretty girls that other guys marry, and we never think about the plain ones suffering.”
“Oh, I hadn't any data for my pity in this case, then,” replied Halleck. “I'm willing to allow that a plain woman would suffer under the same circumstances; and I think I should be capable of pitying her. But I'll confess that the notion of a pretty woman's sorrow is more intolerable; there's no use denying a fact so universally recognized by the male consciousness. I take my share of shame for it. I wonder why it is? Pretty women always seem to appeal to us as more dependent and childlike. I dare say they're not.”
“Oh, I didn't have any sympathy for this situation, then,” replied Halleck. “I’m willing to admit that an ordinary woman would suffer in the same way; and I think I could feel sorry for her. But I’ll be honest: the idea of a pretty woman’s pain is harder to bear; there’s no denying that this is a fact acknowledged by men everywhere. I’m ashamed of it. I wonder why that is? Pretty women always seem to evoke a sense of them being more fragile and innocent. But I bet they're not.”
“Some of them are quite able to take care of themselves,” said Atherton. “I've known striking instances of the kind. How do you know but the object of your superfluous pity was cheerful because fate had delivered her husband, bound forever, into her hand, through this little escapade of his?”
“Some of them can definitely take care of themselves,” said Atherton. “I've seen plenty of examples like that. How do you know that the person you pity so much wasn’t actually happy because fate has given her husband, forever bound, into her grasp because of this little adventure of his?”
“Isn't that rather a coarse suggestion?” asked Halleck.
“Isn't that a pretty crude suggestion?” asked Halleck.
“Very likely. I suggest it; I don't assert it. But I fancy that wives sometimes like a permanent grievance that is always at hand, no matter what the mere passing occasion of the particular disagreement is. It seems to me that I have detected obscure appeals to such a weapon in domestic interviews at which I've assisted in the way of business.”
“Very likely. I'm suggesting it; I'm not claiming it. But I think that wives sometimes appreciate having a constant issue to bring up, no matter what the specific cause of the disagreement is. It seems to me that I've noticed subtle hints of using that kind of tactic in domestic discussions I've observed in a professional capacity.”
“Don't, Atherton!” cried Halleck.
"Stop, Atherton!" cried Halleck.
“Don't how? In this particular case, or in regard to wives generally. We can't do women a greater injustice than not to account for a vast deal of human nature in them. You may be sure that things haven't come to the present pass with those people without blame on both sides.”
“Don't know how? In this case, or about wives in general. We can't do women a bigger injustice than to ignore a lot of their human nature. You can be sure that things haven’t gotten to this point with those people without fault on both sides.”
“Oh, do you defend a man for such beastliness, by that stale old plea of blame on both sides?” demanded Halleck, indignantly.
“Oh, are you really defending a guy for such ugliness with that tired old excuse of blaming both sides?” Halleck demanded, indignantly.
“No; but I should like to know what she had said or done to provoke it, before I excused her altogether.”
“No; but I would like to know what she said or did to provoke it, before I completely excuse her.”
“You would! Imagine the case reversed.”
“You would! Just imagine if the situation were flipped.”
“It isn't imaginable.”
“It’s unimaginable.”
“You think there is a special code of morals for women,—sins and shames for them that are no sins and shames for us!”
“You think there’s a special set of morals for women—sins and shames that don’t apply to us!”
“No, I don't think that! I merely suggest that you don't idealize the victim in this instance. I dare say she hasn't suffered half as much as you have. Remember that she's a person of commonplace traditions, and probably took a simple view of the matter, and let it go as something that could not be helped.”
“No, I don’t think that! I’m just saying that you shouldn’t put the victim on a pedestal in this situation. Honestly, she probably hasn’t suffered as much as you have. Keep in mind that she comes from ordinary background and likely saw the situation in a straightforward way, letting it go as something unavoidable.”
“No, that would not do, either,” said Halleck.
“No, that wouldn’t work either,” said Halleck.
“You're hard to please. Suppose we imagine her proud enough to face you down on the fact, for his sake; too proud to revenge her disgrace on you—”
"You're tough to satisfy. Let's say we picture her being proud enough to confront you about it, for his sake; too proud to take revenge on you for her embarrassment—"
“Oh, you come back to your old plea of magnanimity! Atherton, it makes me sick at heart to think of that poor creature. That look of hers haunts me! I can't get rid of it!”
“Oh, you're back to your old argument about being generous! Atherton, it makes me sick to think about that poor person. That look on her face haunts me! I can't shake it off!”
Atherton sat considering his friend with a curious smile. “Well, I'm sorry this has happened to you, Halleck.”
Atherton sat there, looking at his friend with a curious smile. “Well, I’m sorry that this has happened to you, Halleck.”
“Oh, why do you say that to me?” demanded Halleck, impatiently. “Am I a nervous woman, that I must be kept from unpleasant sights and disagreeable experiences? If there's anything of the man about me, you insult it! Why not be a little sorry for her?”
“Oh, why do you say that to me?” Halleck asked, impatiently. “Am I some nervous woman who needs to be shielded from unpleasant sights and uncomfortable experiences? If there's anything manly about me, you’re insulting it! Why not show a little sympathy for her?”
“I'm sorry enough for her; but I suspect that, so far, you have been the principal sufferer. She's simply accepted the fact, and survived it.”
“I'm really sorry for her; but I think you've been the one who’s suffered the most. She’s just come to terms with it and moved on.”
“So much the worse, so much the worse!” groaned Halleck. “She'd better have died!”
“So much worse, so much worse!” Halleck groaned. “She might as well have died!”
“Well, perhaps. I dare say she thinks it will never happen again, and has dismissed the subject; while you've had it happening ever since, whenever you've thought of her.”
“Well, maybe. I bet she thinks it will never happen again and has moved on; meanwhile, it’s been happening to you ever since, every time you think of her.”
Halleck struck the arms of his chair with his clinched hands. “Confound the fellow! What business has he to come back into my way, and make me think about his wife? Oh, very likely it's quite as you say! I dare say she's stupidly content with him; that she's forgiven it and forgotten all about it. Probably she's told him how I behaved, and they've laughed me over together. But does that make it any easier to bear?”
Halleck hit the arms of his chair with his clenched fists. “Damn that guy! What right does he have to come back into my life and make me think about his wife? Oh, sure, you might be right! I bet she's mindlessly happy with him; that she’s forgiven him and moved on. Maybe she’s even told him how I acted, and they’ve laughed at me together. But does that make it any easier to deal with?”
“It ought,” said Atherton. “What did the husband do when you met them?”
“It should,” said Atherton. “What did the husband do when you saw them?”
“Everything but tip me the wink,—everything but say, in so many words, 'You see I've made it all right with her: don't you wish you knew—how?'” Halleck dropped his head, with a wrathful groan.
“Just give me a sign—anything but outright say, 'You see I've sorted things out with her: don’t you wish you knew how?'” Halleck lowered his head with an angry groan.
“I fancy,” said Atherton, thoughtfully, “that, if we really knew how, it would surprise us. Married life is as much a mystery to us outsiders as the life to come, almost. The ordinary motives don't seem to count; it's the realm of unreason. If a man only makes his wife suffer enough, she finds out that she loves him so much she must forgive him. And then there's a great deal in their being bound. They can't live together in enmity, and they must live together. I dare say the offence had merely worn itself out between them.”
“I think,” said Atherton, thoughtfully, “that if we really understood it, we would be surprised. Married life is as much a mystery to us outsiders as life after death, almost. The usual motives don't seem to matter; it's a realm of unreason. If a man makes his wife suffer enough, she discovers that she loves him so much she has to forgive him. And then there's a lot to their bond. They can't live together in hostility, and they have to live together. I suppose the offense just faded between them.”
“Oh, I dare say,” Halleck assented, wearily. “That isn't my idea of marriage, though.”
“Oh, I definitely agree,” Halleck said, tiredly. “That’s not how I see marriage, though.”
“It's not mine, either,” returned Atherton. “The question is whether it isn't often the fact in regard to such people's marriages.”
“It's not mine, either,” Atherton replied. “The question is whether that's often the case with marriages involving those kinds of people.”
“Then they are so many hells,” cried Halleck, “where self-respect perishes with resentment, and the husband and wife are enslaved to each other. They ought to be broken up!”
“Then there are so many hells,” Halleck exclaimed, “where self-respect dies along with resentment, and the husband and wife are trapped by each other. They should be broken up!”
“I don't think so,” said Atherton, soberly. “The sort of men and women that marriage enslaves would be vastly more wretched and mischievous if they were set free. I believe that the hell people make for themselves isn't at all a bad place for them. It's the best place for them.”
“I don't think so,” said Atherton, seriously. “The kind of men and women that marriage confines would be much more miserable and harmful if they were set free. I believe that the hell people create for themselves isn’t really a bad place for them. It’s the best place for them.”
“Oh, I know your doctrine,” said Halleck, rising. “It's horrible! How a man with any kindness in his heart can harbor such a cold-blooded philosophy I don't understand. I wish you joy of it. Good night,” he added, gloomily, taking his hat from the table. “It serves me right for coming to you with a matter that I ought to have been man enough to keep to myself.”
“Oh, I know your beliefs,” said Halleck, getting to his feet. “It's terrible! I can't understand how anyone with a kind heart can hold such a heartless philosophy. I wish you the best with it. Good night,” he said, gloomily, picking up his hat from the table. “I should have known better than to bring up something that I should have handled on my own.”
Atherton followed him toward the door. “It won't do you any harm to consider your perplexity in the light of my philosophy. An unhappy marriage isn't the only hell, nor the worst.”
Atherton followed him to the door. “It won't hurt you to think about your confusion in light of my philosophy. An unhappy marriage isn't the only hell, nor is it the worst.”
Halleck turned. “What could be a worse hell than marriage without love?” he demanded, fiercely.
Halleck turned. “What could be a worse hell than a marriage without love?” he demanded, fiercely.
“Love without marriage,” said Atherton.
“Love without marriage,” said Atherton.
Halleck looked sharply at his friend. Then he shrugged his shoulders as he turned again and swung out of the door. “You're too esoteric for me. It's quite time I was gone.”
Halleck gave his friend a pointed look. Then he shrugged and turned back to leave through the door. “You're way too out there for me. I really should be going.”
The way through Clover Street was not the shortest way home; but he climbed the hill and passed the little house. He wished to rehabilitate in its pathetic beauty the image which his friend's conjectures had jarred, distorted, insulted; and he lingered for a moment before the door where this vision had claimed his pity for anguish that no after serenity could repudiate. The silence in which the house was wrapped was like another fold of the mystery which involved him. The night wind rose in a sudden gust, and made the neighboring lamp flare, and his shadow wavered across the pavement like the figure of a drunken man. This, and not that other, was the image which he saw.
The way through Clover Street wasn't the fastest route home, but he climbed the hill and passed the little house. He wanted to restore the image that his friend's assumptions had shaken, twisted, and disrespected through its sad beauty; he paused for a moment before the door where this vision had stirred his empathy for a pain that no later peace could dismiss. The silence surrounding the house felt like another layer of the mystery that enveloped him. A sudden gust of night wind made the nearby streetlamp flicker, and his shadow swayed across the pavement like the figure of a drunk person. That, not the other, was the image he perceived.
XXVII.
“Of course,” said Marcia, when she and Bartley recurred to the subject of her visit to Equity, “I have always felt as if I should like to have you with me, so as to keep people from talking, and show that it's all right between you and father. But if you don't wish to go, I can't ask it.”
“Of course,” Marcia said when she and Bartley brought up her visit to Equity again, “I’ve always thought it would be nice to have you with me, to keep people from talking and to show that everything is good between you and Dad. But if you don’t want to go, I can’t ask you to.”
“I understand what you mean, and I should like to gratify you,” said Bartley. “Not that I care a rap what all the people in Equity think. I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll go down there with you and hang round a day or two; and then I'll come after you, when your time's up, and stay a day or two there. I couldn't stand three weeks in Equity.”
“I get what you're saying, and I want to make you happy,” said Bartley. “Not that I care at all about what everyone in Equity thinks. Here’s what I'll do: I’ll go down there with you and stick around for a day or two; then I’ll come back for you when your time’s up and stay a day or two after that. I couldn't handle three weeks in Equity.”
In the end, he behaved very handsomely. He dressed Flavia out to kill, as he said, in lace hoods and embroidered long-clothes, for which he tossed over half the ready-made stock of the great dry-goods stores; and he made Marcia get herself a new suit throughout, with a bonnet to match, which she thought she could not afford, but he said he should manage it somehow. In Equity he spared no pains to deepen the impression of his success in Boston, and he was affable with everybody. He hailed his friends across the street, waving his hand to them, and shouting out a jolly greeting. He visited the hotel office and the stores to meet the loungers there; he stepped into the printing-office, and congratulated Henry Bird on having stopped the Free Press and devoted himself to job-work. He said, “Hello, Marilla! Hello, Hannah!” and he stood a good while beside the latter at her case, joking and laughing. He had no resentments. He stopped old Morrison on the street and shook hands with him. “Well, Mr. Morrison, do you find it as easy to get Hannah's wages advanced nowadays as you used to?”
In the end, he behaved quite impressively. He dressed Flavia to look amazing, as he put it, in lace hoods and fancy outfits, for which he spent half the stock from the big department stores; and he made Marcia get a whole new outfit, complete with a matching bonnet, which she thought she couldn't afford, but he said he would figure it out somehow. In Equity, he pulled out all the stops to boost the impression of his success in Boston, and he was friendly with everyone. He greeted his friends from across the street, waving and calling out a cheerful hello. He visited the hotel lobby and the shops to chat with the people hanging out there; he popped into the printing office and congratulated Henry Bird on stopping the Free Press and working on job projects instead. He said, “Hey, Marilla! Hey, Hannah!” and spent a good amount of time with Hannah at her case, joking and laughing. He held no grudges. He stopped old Morrison on the street and shook his hand. “Well, Mr. Morrison, do you find it as easy to get Hannah's wages advanced these days as you used to?”
As for his relations with Squire Gaylord, he flattened public conjecture out like a pancake, as he told Marcia, by making the old gentleman walk arm-and-arm with him the whole length of the village street the morning after his arrival. “And I never saw your honored father look as if he enjoyed a thing less,” added Bartley. “Well, what's the use? He couldn't help himself.” They had arrived on Friday evening, and, after spending Saturday in this social way, Bartley magnanimously went with Marcia to church. He was in good spirits, and he shook hands, right and left, as he came out of church. In the afternoon he had up the best team from the hotel stable, and took Marcia the Long Drive, which they had taken the day of their engagement. He could not be contented without pushing the perambulator out after tea, and making Marcia walk beside it, to let people see them with the baby.
As for his relationship with Squire Gaylord, he squashed the town's gossip like a pancake, as he told Marcia, by making the old man walk arm-in-arm with him the entire length of the village street the morning after he arrived. “And I’ve never seen your respected father look like he enjoyed something less,” Bartley added. “Well, what could he do? He had no choice.” They arrived on Friday evening, and after spending Saturday socializing, Bartley generously took Marcia to church. He was in good spirits, shaking hands left and right as he left the church. In the afternoon, he brought out the best team from the hotel stable and took Marcia on the Long Drive, the same route they took the day they got engaged. He couldn’t be satisfied without pushing the stroller out after tea and making Marcia walk beside it, showing everyone they were out with the baby.
He went away the next morning on an early train, after a parting which he made very cheery, and a promise to come down again as soon as he could manage it. Marcia watched him drive off toward the station in the hotel barge, and then she went upstairs to their room, where she had been so long a young girl, and where now their child lay sleeping. The little one seemed the least part of all the change that had taken place. In this room she used to sit and think of him; she used to fly up thither when he came unexpectedly, and order her hair or change a ribbon of her dress, that she might please him better; at these windows she used to sit and watch, and long for his coming; from these she saw him go by that day when she thought she should see him no more, and took heart of her despair to risk the wild chance that made him hers. There was a deadly, unsympathetic stillness in the room which seemed to leave to her all the responsibility for what she had done.
He left the next morning on an early train, after a cheerful goodbye and a promise to visit again as soon as he could. Marcia watched him drive off to the station in the hotel boat, and then she went upstairs to their room, where she had spent so many years as a young girl, and where their child now lay sleeping. The little one seemed the smallest part of all the changes that had happened. In this room, she used to sit and think of him; she would rush up there when he arrived unexpectedly, fixing her hair or changing the ribbon on her dress to impress him more. From these windows, she would sit and watch, longing for his arrival; it was through these she saw him leave that day when she thought she wouldn’t see him again, and summoned the courage from her despair to take the wild chance that brought him to her. There was a heavy, cold silence in the room that felt like it left all the responsibility for her actions on her shoulders.
The days began to go by in a sunny, still, midsummer monotony. She pushed the baby out in its carriage, and saw the summer boarders walking or driving through the streets; she returned the visits that the neighbors paid her; indoors she helped her mother about the housework. An image of her maiden life reinstated itself. At times it seemed almost as if she had dreamed her marriage. When she looked at her baby in these moods, she thought she was dreaming yet. A young wife suddenly parted for the first time from her husband, in whose intense possession she has lost her individual existence, and devolving upon her old separate personality, must have strong fancies, strange sensations. Marcia's marriage had been full of such shocks and storms as might well have left her dazed in their entire cessation.
The days started to flow by in the bright, calm monotony of midsummer. She took the baby out in its stroller and saw the summer guests walking or driving through the streets; she returned visits from the neighbors; inside, she helped her mother with the housework. Memories of her single life came back to her. Sometimes it felt almost like she had imagined her marriage. When she looked at her baby during these moments, she thought she might still be dreaming. A young wife separated for the first time from her husband, who had claimed her so completely that she lost her sense of self, must experience powerful fantasies and strange feelings as she reconnects with her old identity. Marcia's marriage had been filled with such shocks and upheavals that the sudden calm might have left her feeling bewildered.
“She seems to be pretty well satisfied here,” said her father, one evening when she had gone upstairs with her sleeping baby in her arms.
“She seems to be pretty happy here,” said her father, one evening when she had gone upstairs with her sleeping baby in her arms.
“She seems to be pretty quiet,” her mother noncommittally assented.
“She seems to be pretty quiet,” her mother agreed without much enthusiasm.
“M-yes,” snarled the Squire, and he fell into a long revery, while Mrs. Gaylord went on crocheting the baby a bib, and the smell of the petunia-bed under the window came in through the mosquito netting. “M-yes,” he resumed, “I guess you're right. I guess it's only quiet. I guess she ain't any more likely to be satisfied than the rest of us.”
“M-yes,” growled the Squire, and he drifted into a long daydream, while Mrs. Gaylord continued crocheting a bib for the baby, and the scent of the petunia bed outside the window wafted in through the mosquito netting. “M-yes,” he continued, “I suppose you’re right. I guess it’s just quiet. I guess she’s no more likely to be satisfied than the rest of us.”
“I don't see why she shouldn't be,” said Mrs. Gaylord, resenting the compassion in the Squire's tone with that curious jealousy a wife feels for her husband's indulgence of their daughter. “She's had her way.”
“I don’t see why she shouldn’t be,” said Mrs. Gaylord, feeling irritated by the compassion in the Squire’s tone with that strange jealousy a wife feels for her husband’s favoritism towards their daughter. “She’s gotten her way.”
“She's had her way, poor girl,—yes. But I don't know as it satisfies people to have their way, always.”
“She's gotten what she wanted, poor girl—yeah. But I don’t think it always satisfies people to get their way.”
Doubtless Mrs. Gaylord saw that her husband wished to talk about Marcia, and must be helped to do so by a little perverseness. “I don't know but what most of folks would say 't she'd made out pretty well. I guess she's got a good provider.”
Doubtless Mrs. Gaylord noticed that her husband wanted to talk about Marcia and would need a little nudge to get started. “I guess most people would say she’s done pretty well. I suppose she’s got a good provider.”
“She didn't need any provider,” said the Squire haughtily.
“She didn't need any provider,” the Squire said arrogantly.
“No; but so long as she would have something, it's well enough that she should have a provider.” Mrs. Gaylord felt that this was reasoning, and she smoothed out so much of the bib as she had crocheted across her knees with an air of self-content. “You can't have everything in a husband,” she added, “and Marcia ought to know that, by this time.”
“No; but as long as she wants something, it's good enough that she should have someone to take care of her.” Mrs. Gaylord felt that this was reasonable, and she smoothed out the piece of fabric she had crocheted across her knees with a sense of satisfaction. “You can't have it all in a husband,” she added, “and Marcia should understand that by now.”
“I've no doubt she knows it,” said the Squire.
"I’m sure she knows it," said the Squire.
“Why, what makes you think she's disappointed any?” Mrs. Gaylord came plump to the question at last.
“Why, what makes you think she's disappointed at all?” Mrs. Gaylord finally got straight to the point.
“Nothing she ever said,” returned her husband promptly. “She'd die, first. When I was up there I thought she talked about him too much to be feeling just right about him. It was Bartley this and Bartley that, the whole while. She was always wanting me to say that I thought she had done right to marry him. I did sort of say it, at last,—to please her. But I kept thinking that, if she felt sure of it, she wouldn't want to talk it into me so. Now, she never mentions him at all, if she can help it. She writes to him every day, and she hears from him often enough,—postals, mostly; but she don't talk about Bartley, Bartley!” The Squire stretched his lips back from his teeth, and inhaled a long breath, as he rubbed his chin.
“Nothing she ever said,” her husband replied quickly. “She’d rather die first. When I was up there, I thought she talked about him way too much to feel good about him. It was Bartley this and Bartley that the entire time. She always wanted me to agree that marrying him was a good decision. I kind of said it eventually—just to make her happy. But I kept thinking that if she was truly sure about it, she wouldn’t need to keep bringing it up like that. Now, she avoids mentioning him at all if she can. She writes to him every day and gets mail from him often enough—mostly post cards; but she doesn’t talk about Bartley, Bartley!” The Squire pulled his lips back from his teeth and took a deep breath while rubbing his chin.
“You don't suppose anything's happened since you was up there,” said Mrs. Gaylord.
“You don't think anything's happened since you were up there,” said Mrs. Gaylord.
“Nothing but what's happened from the start. He's happened. He keeps happening right along, I guess.”
“Nothing but what’s happened from the beginning. He’s been here. He just keeps happening, I suppose.”
Mrs. Gaylord found herself upon the point of experiencing a painful emotion of sympathy, but she saved herself by saying: “Well, Mr. Gaylord, I don't know as you've got anybody but yourself to thank for it all. You got him here, in the first place.” She took one of the kerosene lamps from the table, and went upstairs, leaving him to follow at his will.
Mrs. Gaylord was on the verge of feeling a strong wave of sympathy, but she held back and said, “Well, Mr. Gaylord, I think you only have yourself to thank for this. You brought him here in the first place.” She picked up one of the kerosene lamps from the table and went upstairs, leaving him to follow whenever he wanted.
Marcia sometimes went out to the Squire's office in the morning, carrying her baby with her, and propping her with law-books on a newspaper in the middle of the floor, while she dusted the shelves, or sat down for one of the desultory talks in the satisfactory silences which she had with her father.
Marcia sometimes went out to the Squire's office in the morning, carrying her baby with her and propping him up with law books on a newspaper in the middle of the floor while she dusted the shelves or sat down for one of the casual conversations in the comfortable silences she had with her father.
He usually found her there when he came up from the post-office, with the morning mail in the top of his hat: the last evening's Events,—which Bartley had said must pass for a letter from him when he did not write,—and a letter or a postal card from him. She read these, and gave her lather any news or message that Bartley sent; and then she sat down at his table to answer them. But one morning, after she had been at home nearly a month, she received a letter for which she postponed Bartley's postal. “It's from Olive Halleck!” she said, with a glance at the handwriting on the envelope; and she tore it open, and ran it through. “Yes, and they'll come here, any time I let them know. They've been at Niagara, and they've come down the St. Lawrence to Quebec, and they will be at North Conway the last of next week. Now, father, I want to do something for them!” she cried, feeling an American daughter's right to dispose of her father, and all his possessions, for the behoof of her friends at any time. “I want they should come to the house.”
He usually found her there when he came back from the post office, with the morning mail stacked in his hat: the previous night's Events—which Bartley said had to count as a letter from him when he didn’t write—and a letter or postcard from him. She read these and passed along any news or message that Bartley sent; then she sat down at his table to respond. But one morning, after she had been home for nearly a month, she got a letter that made her put aside Bartley's postal. “It’s from Olive Halleck!” she said, glancing at the handwriting on the envelope; she tore it open and skimmed through it. “Yes, and they’ll come here anytime I let them know. They’ve been at Niagara, then down the St. Lawrence to Quebec, and they’ll be in North Conway by the end of next week. Now, Dad, I want to do something for them!” she exclaimed, feeling it was her right as an American daughter to use her father and all his stuff for the benefit of her friends whenever she wanted. “I want them to come to the house.”
“Well, I guess there won't be any trouble about that, if you think they can put up with our way of living.' He smiled at her over his spectacles.
“Well, I guess there won't be any trouble with that if you think they can handle our way of living.” He smiled at her over his glasses.
“Our way of living! Put up with it! I should hope as much! They're just the kind of people that will put up with anything, because they've had everything. And because they're all as sweet and good as they can be. You don't know them, father, you don't half know them! Now, just get right away,”—she pushed him out of the chair he had taken at the table,—“and let me write to Bartley this instant. He's got to come when they're here, and I'll invite them to come over at once, before they get settled at North Conway.”
“Our way of living! Deal with it! I should certainly hope so! They’re exactly the type who will tolerate anything because they've had it all. And they’re all as nice and good as they can be. You don’t really know them, dad, you don’t know them at all! Now, just get up,”—she pushed him out of the chair he had taken at the table,—“and let me write to Bartley right now. He has to come when they’re here, and I’ll invite them over immediately, before they settle down at North Conway.”
He gave his dry chuckle to see her so fired with pleasure, and he enjoyed the ardor with which she drove him up out of his chair, and dashed off her letters. This was her old way; he would have liked the prospect of the Hallecks coming, because it made his girl so happy, if for nothing else.
He chuckled dryly at how excited she was, and he appreciated the enthusiasm with which she urged him out of his chair and hurried to write her letters. This was her usual behavior; he would have looked forward to the Hallecks coming over, just because it made her so happy, if for no other reason.
“Father, I will tell you about Ben Halleck,” she said, pounding her letter to Olive with the thick of her hand to make the envelope stick. “You know that lameness of his?”
“Dad, I need to tell you about Ben Halleck,” she said, hitting her letter to Olive with the palm of her hand to seal the envelope. “You know about his limp?”
“Yes.”
"Yes."
“Well, it came from his being thrown down by another boy when he was at school. He knew the boy that did it; and the boy must have known that Mr. Halleck knew it, but he never said a word to show that he was sorry, or did anything to make up for it He's a man now, and lives there in Boston, and Ben Halleck often meets him. He says that if the man can stand it he can. Don't you think that's grand? When I heard that, I made up my mind that I wanted Flavia to belong to Ben Halleck's church,—or the church he did belong to; he doesn't belong to any now!”
“Well, it came from him being pushed down by another boy when he was in school. He knew the boy who did it, and that boy must have known that Mr. Halleck knew, but he never said anything to show he was sorry or did anything to make it right. He’s an adult now and lives in Boston, and Ben Halleck often runs into him. He says that if the guy can take it, so can he. Don’t you think that’s great? When I heard that, I decided I wanted Flavia to be a part of Ben Halleck’s church—or the church he used to go to; he doesn't go to any now!”
“He couldn't have got any damages for such a thing anyway,” the Squire said.
“He couldn't have gotten any damages for something like that anyway,” the Squire said.
Marcia paid no heed to this legal opinion of the case. She took off her father's hat to put the letters into it, and, replacing it on his head, “Now don't you forget them, father,” she cried.
Marcia ignored this legal opinion on the case. She took off her father's hat to put the letters inside, and, placing it back on his head, she said, “Now don't forget these, Dad,” she exclaimed.
She gathered up her baby and hurried into the house, where she began her preparations for her guests.
She picked up her baby and rushed into the house, where she started getting ready for her guests.
The elder Miss Hallecks had announced with much love, through Olive, that they should not be able to come to Equity, and Ben was to bring Olive alone. Marcia decided that Ben should have the guest-chamber, and Olive should have her room; she and Bartley could take the little room in the L while their guests remained.
The older Miss Hallecks had lovingly announced through Olive that they wouldn't be able to come to Equity, and Ben would be bringing Olive alone. Marcia decided that Ben should stay in the guest room, and Olive would have her own room; she and Bartley could take the small room in the L while their guests were there.
But when the Hallecks came, it appeared that Ben had engaged quarters for himself at the hotel, and no expostulation would prevail with him to come to Squire Gaylord's house.
But when the Hallecks arrived, it seemed that Ben had booked a room for himself at the hotel, and no amount of arguing could convince him to come to Squire Gaylord's house.
“We have to humor him in such things, Mrs. Hubbard,” Olive explained, to Marcia's distress. “And most people get on very well without him.”
“We have to indulge him in these matters, Mrs. Hubbard,” Olive explained, to Marcia's dismay. “And most people manage just fine without him.”
This explanation was of course given in Halleck's presence. His sister added, behind his back: “Ben has a perfectly morbid dread of giving trouble in a house. He won't let us do anything to make him comfortable at home, and the idea that you should attempt it drove him distracted. You mustn't mind it. I don't believe he'd have come if his bachelor freedom couldn't have been respected; and we both wanted to come Very much.”
This explanation was obviously given in Halleck's presence. His sister added, behind his back: “Ben has a real obsession with not being a burden in a house. He won't let us do anything to make him comfortable at home, and the thought that you would try to do so drove him crazy. You shouldn't take it personally. I don't think he would have come if he couldn't keep his bachelor independence; and we both really wanted to come.”
The Hallecks arrived in the forenoon, and Bartley was due in the evening. But during the afternoon Marcia had a telegram saying that he could not come till two days later, and asking her to postpone the picnic she had planned. The Hallecks were only going to stay three days, and the suspicion that Bartley had delayed in order to leave himself as little time as possible with them rankled in her heart so that she could not keep it to herself when they met.
The Hallecks arrived in the morning, and Bartley was supposed to show up in the evening. But in the afternoon, Marcia got a telegram saying that he couldn't come until two days later and asking her to push back the picnic she had planned. The Hallecks were only going to stay for three days, and the thought that Bartley had postponed his visit to spend as little time with them as possible bothered her so much that she couldn’t hold it in when they met.
“Was that what made you give me such a cool reception?” he asked, with cynical good-nature. “Well, you're mistaken; I don't suppose I mind the Hallecks any more than they do me. I'll tell you why I stayed. Some people dropped down on Witherby, who were a little out of his line,—fashionable people that he had asked to let him know if they ever came to Boston; and when they did come and let him know, he didn't know what to do about it, and he called on me to help him out. I've been almost boarding with Witherby for the last three days; and I've been barouching round all over the moral vineyard with his friends: out to Mount Auburn and the Washington Elm, and Bunker Hill, and Brookline, and the Art Museum, and Lexington; we've been down the harbor, and we haven't left a monumental stone unturned. They were going north, and they came down here with me; and I got them to stop over a day for the picnic.”
“Is that why you gave me such a cold welcome?” he asked, with a sarcastic smile. “Well, you’re wrong; I don't mind the Hallecks any more than they mind me. Let me explain why I stayed. Some fashionable folks who weren't really Witherby’s usual crowd showed up—people he had asked to tell him when they were in Boston. When they did show up and let him know, he had no idea what to do, so he asked me for help. I’ve been practically living with Witherby for the last three days, taking his friends around to see the sights: out to Mount Auburn, the Washington Elm, Bunker Hill, Brookline, the Art Museum, and Lexington; we went down to the harbor and left no stone unturned. They were headed north, but they came down here with me, and I managed to get them to stay an extra day for the picnic.”
“You got them to stop over for the picnic? Why, I don't want anybody but ourselves, Bartley! This spoils everything.”
“You got them to come over for the picnic? I really only want it to be us, Bartley! This ruins everything.”
“The Hallecks are not ourselves,” said Bartley. “And these are jolly people; they'll help to make it go off.”
“The Hallecks aren’t us,” Bartley said. “And these are fun people; they’ll help make it a success.”
“Who are they?” asked Marcia, with provisional self-control.
“Who are they?” Marcia asked, managing to stay composed for the moment.
“Oh, some people that Witherby met in Portland at Willett's, who used to have the logging-camp out here.”
“Oh, some people that Witherby met in Portland at Willett's, who used to have the logging camp out here.”
“That Montreal woman!” cried Marcia, with fatal divination.
“That Montreal woman!” shouted Marcia, with a sense of inevitable insight.
Bartley laughed. “Yes, Mrs. Macallister and her husband. She's a regular case. She'll amuse you.”
Bartley laughed. “Yeah, Mrs. Macallister and her husband. She's quite a character. She'll keep you entertained.”
Marcia's passionate eyes blazed. “She shall never come to my picnic in the world!”
Marcia's fierce eyes sparkled with intensity. “She will never set foot at my picnic!”
“No?” Bartley looked at her in a certain way. “She shall come to mine, then. There will be two picnics. The more the merrier.”
“No?” Bartley looked at her in a particular way. “Then she should come to my place. There will be two picnics. The more, the merrier.”
Marcia gasped, as if she felt the clutch in which her husband had her tightening on her heart. She said that she could only carry her point against him at the cost of disgraceful division before the Hallecks, for which he would not care in the least. She moved her head a little from side to side, like one that breathes a stifling air. “Oh, let her come,” she said quietly, at last.
Marcia gasped, as if she could feel her husband's grip tightening around her heart. She said that she could only win her argument against him at the cost of embarrassing conflict in front of the Hallecks, which he wouldn't care about at all. She slightly shook her head from side to side, like someone struggling to breathe in a stuffy room. “Oh, let her come,” she finally said quietly.
“Now you're talking business,” said Bartley. “I haven't forgotten the little snub Mrs. Macallister gave me, and you'll see me pay her off.”
“Now you're talking business,” Bartley said. “I haven't forgotten the slight Mrs. Macallister gave me, and you'll see me get back at her.”
Marcia made no answer, but went downstairs to put what face she could upon the matter to Olive, whom she had left alone in the parlor, while she ran up with Bartley immediately upon his arrival to demand an explanation of him. In her wrathful haste she had forgotten to kiss him, and she now remembered that he had not looked at the baby, which she had all the time had in her arms.
Marcia didn't respond but went downstairs to explain things to Olive, who she had left alone in the living room while she hurried upstairs with Bartley as soon as he arrived to demand an explanation from him. In her angry rush, she had forgotten to kiss him, and now she realized he hadn't looked at the baby, whom she'd been holding the whole time.
The picnic was to be in a pretty glen three or four miles north of the village, where there was shade on a bit of level green, and a spring bubbling out of a fern-hung bluff: from which you looked down the glen over a stretch of the river. Marcia had planned that they were to drive thither in a four-seated carryall, but the addition of Bartley's guests disarranged this.
The picnic was set to take place in a lovely valley three or four miles north of the village, where there was shade on a flat green area and a spring bubbling out from a fern-covered cliff, offering a view down the valley over a stretch of the river. Marcia had arranged for them to drive there in a four-seater carriage, but the addition of Bartley's guests messed up those plans.
“There's only one way,” said Mrs. Macallister, who had driven up with her husband from the hotel to the Squire's house in a buggy. “Mr. Halleck tells me he doesn't know how to drive, and my husband doesn't know the way. Mr. Hubbard must get in here with me, and you must take Mr. Macallister in your party.” She looked authoritatively at the others.
“There's only one way,” said Mrs. Macallister, who had driven up with her husband from the hotel to the Squire's house in a buggy. “Mr. Halleck tells me he doesn't know how to drive, and my husband doesn't know the way. Mr. Hubbard needs to get in here with me, and you should take Mr. Macallister with you.” She looked assertively at the others.
“First rate!” cried Bartley, climbing to the seat which Mr. Macallister left vacant. “We'll lead the way.”
“First rate!” shouted Bartley as he climbed into the seat that Mr. Macallister had left empty. “We'll take the lead.”
Those who followed had difficulty in keeping their buggy in sight. Sometimes Bartley stopped long enough for them to come up, and then, after a word or two of gay banter, was off again.
Those who came after struggled to keep their buggy in view. Sometimes Bartley paused just long enough for them to catch up, and then, after a few words of cheerful teasing, he would take off again.
They had taken possession of the picnic grounds, and Mrs. Macallister was disposing shawls for rugs and drapery, while Bartley, who had got the horse out, and tethered where he could graze, was pushing the buggy out of the way by the shafts, when the carryall came up.
They had claimed the picnic area, and Mrs. Macallister was laying out shawls for blankets and decoration, while Bartley, who had taken out the horse and tied it up where it could graze, was moving the buggy out of the way using the shafts when the carryall arrived.
“Don't we look quite domestic?” she asked of the arriving company, in her neat English tone, and her rising English inflection. “You know I like this,” she added, singling Halleck out for her remark, and making it as if it were brilliant. “I like being out of doors, don't you know. But there's one thing I don't like: we weren't able to get a drop of champagne at that ridiculous hotel. They told us they were not allowed to keep 'intoxicating liquors.' Now I call that jolly stupid, you know. I don't know whatever we shall do if you haven't brought something.”
“Don’t we look so cozy?” she said to the arriving guests, in her tidy English accent, with a rising tone. “You know I enjoy this,” she continued, directing her comment at Halleck and making it sound clever. “I love being outdoors, don’t you? But there’s one thing I really dislike: we couldn’t get any champagne at that ridiculous hotel. They said they weren’t allowed to have 'intoxicating liquors.' I think that’s just plain silly, you know. I have no idea what we’ll do if you didn’t bring anything.”
“I believe this is a famous spring,” said Halleck.
“I think this is a famous spring,” Halleck said.
“How droll you are! Spring, indeed!” cried Mrs. Macallister. “Is that the way you let your brother make game of people, Miss Halleck?” She directed a good deal of her rattle at Olive; she scarcely spoke to Marcia, but she was nevertheless furtively observant of her. Mr. Macallister had his rattle too, which, after trying it unsatisfactorily upon Marcia, he plied almost exclusively for Olive. He made puns; he asked conundrums; he had all the accomplishments which keep people going in a lively, mirthful, colonial society; and he had the idea that he must pay attentions and promote repartee. His wife and he played into each other's hands in their jeux d'esprit; and kept Olive's inquiring Boston mind at work in the vain endeavor to account for and to place them socially. Bartley hung about Mrs. Macallister, and was nearly as obedient as her husband. He felt that the Hallecks disapproved his behavior, and that made him enjoy it; he was almost rudely negligent of Olive.
“How funny you are! Spring, really!” exclaimed Mrs. Macallister. “Is that how you let your brother tease people, Miss Halleck?” She directed much of her chatter at Olive; she hardly spoke to Marcia, but she was still secretly paying attention to her. Mr. Macallister had his own chatter too, which he tried unsatisfactorily on Marcia before focusing almost exclusively on Olive. He made puns, asked riddles, and had all the skills that keep people engaged in a lively, cheerful, colonial society; he believed he needed to pay attention and encourage banter. His wife and he played off each other in their jeux d'esprit, keeping Olive’s curious Boston mind busy in the futile effort to figure them out and classify them socially. Bartley lingered around Mrs. Macallister and was almost as obedient as her husband. He sensed that the Hallecks disapproved of his behavior, which only made him enjoy it more; he was almost rudely dismissive of Olive.
The composition of the party left Marcia and Halleck necessarily to each other, and she accepted this arrangement in a sort of passive seriousness; but Halleck saw that her thoughts wandered from her talk with him, and that her eyes were always turning with painful anxiety to Bartley. After their lunch, which left them with the whole afternoon before them, Marcia said, in a timid effort to resume her best leadership of the affair, “Bartley, don't you think they would like to see the view from the Devil's Backbone?”
The makeup of the group pushed Marcia and Halleck together, and she went along with it in a sort of quiet seriousness; however, Halleck noticed that her mind drifted from their conversation, and her eyes constantly flickered with worry towards Bartley. After their lunch, which left them with the entire afternoon ahead, Marcia, trying to take charge again, said, “Bartley, don’t you think they’d want to see the view from the Devil's Backbone?”
“Would you like to see the view from the Devil's Backbone?” he asked in turn of Mrs. Macallister.
“Would you like to see the view from the Devil's Backbone?” he asked Mrs. Macallister in return.
“And what is the Devil's Backbone?” she inquired.
“And what is the Devil's Backbone?” she asked.
“It's a ridge of rocks on the bluff above here,” said Bartley, nodding his head vaguely towards the bank.
“It's a ridge of rocks on the cliff up there,” said Bartley, nodding his head vaguely towards the bank.
“And how do you get to it?” asked Mrs. Macallister, pointing her pretty chin at him in lifting her head to look.
“And how do you get to it?” asked Mrs. Macallister, lifting her head to look at him and pointing her pretty chin at him.
“Walk.”
"Go for a walk."
“Thanks, then; I shall try to be satisfied with me own backbone,” said Mrs. Macallister, who had that freedom in alluding to her anatomy which marks the superior civilization of Great Britain and its colonial dependencies.
“Thanks, then; I’ll try to be satisfied with my own backbone,” said Mrs. Macallister, who had that freedom in referencing her anatomy that reflects the advanced civilization of Great Britain and its colonies.
“Carry you,” suggested Bartley.
“Let me give you a ride,” suggested Bartley.
“I dare say you'd be very sure-footed; but I'd quite enough of donkeys in the hills at home.”
“I bet you'd be really sure-footed; but I've had more than enough of donkeys in the hills back home.”
Bartley roared with the resolution of a man who will enjoy a joke at his own expense.
Bartley laughed with the determination of someone who can appreciate a joke at their own cost.
Marcia turned away, and referred her invitation, with a glance, to Olive.
Marcia looked away and sent her invitation to Olive with a quick glance.
“I don't believe Miss Halleck wants to go,” said Mr. Macallister.
“I don't think Miss Halleck wants to go,” said Mr. Macallister.
“I couldn't,” said Olive, regretfully. “I've neither the feet nor the head for climbing over high rocky places.”
“I couldn’t,” Olive said with regret. “I don’t have the ability or the mindset for climbing over high, rocky areas.”
Marcia was about to sink down on the grass again, from which she had risen, in the hopes that her proposition would succeed, when Bartley called out: “Why don't you show Ben the Devil's Backbone? The view is worth seeing, Halleck.”
Marcia was about to sit back down on the grass again, where she had just gotten up from, hoping that her suggestion would work, when Bartley shouted, “Why don’t you show Ben the Devil’s Backbone? The view is worth seeing, Halleck.”
“Would you like to go?” asked Marcia, listlessly.
“Do you want to go?” Marcia asked, not really interested.
“Yes, I should, very much,” said Halleck, scrambling to his feet, “if it won't tire you too much?”
“Yes, I absolutely should,” said Halleck, getting to his feet, “if it won’t wear you out too much?”
“Oh, no,” said Marcia, gently, and led the way. She kept ahead of him in the climb, as she easily could, and she answered briefly to all he said. When they arrived at the top, “There is the view,” she said coldly. She waved her hand toward the valley; she made a sound in her throat as if she would speak again, but her voice died in one broken sob.
“Oh, no,” Marcia said softly, leading the way. She stayed ahead of him as they climbed, which was easy for her, and she replied briefly to everything he said. When they reached the top, she said, “There’s the view,” with a chill in her voice. She gestured toward the valley and started to say something else, but her voice turned into a broken sob.
Halleck stood with downcast eyes, and trembled. He durst not look at her, not for what he should see in her face, but for what she should see in his: the anguish of intelligence, the helpless pity. He beat the rock at his feet with the ferule of his stick, and could not lift his head again. When he did, she stood turned from him and drying her eyes on her handkerchief. Their looks met, and she trusted her self-betrayal to him without any attempt at excuse or explanation.
Halleck stood with his eyes lowered, trembling. He couldn't bear to look at her, not because of what he might see on her face, but because of what she would see on his: the pain of understanding, the feelings of helpless pity. He struck the rock at his feet with the tip of his stick, unable to lift his head again. When he finally did, she had turned away from him, drying her eyes with her handkerchief. Their eyes met, and she laid bare her emotions to him without any attempt to excuse or explain herself.
“I will send Hubbard up to help you down,” said Halleck.
“I'll send Hubbard up to help you down,” said Halleck.
“Well,” she answered, sadly.
"Well," she said, sadly.
He clambered down the side of the bluff, and Bartley started to his feet in guilty alarm when he saw him approach. “What's the matter?”
He climbed down the side of the cliff, and Bartley jumped to his feet in guilty alarm when he saw him coming. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing. But I think you had better help Mrs. Hubbard down the bluff.”
“Nothing. But I think you should help Mrs. Hubbard down the hill.”
“Oh!” cried Mrs. Macallister. “A panic! how interesting!”
“Oh!” exclaimed Mrs. Macallister. “A panic! How fascinating!”
Halleck did not respond. He threw himself on the grass, and left her to change or pursue the subject as she liked. Bartley showed more savoir-faire when he came back with Marcia, after an absence long enough to let her remove the traces of her tears.
Halleck didn’t say anything. He lay down on the grass and let her decide whether to change the topic or continue it. Bartley was more tactful when he returned with Marcia, after being away long enough for her to wipe away the signs of her tears.
“Pretty rough on your game foot, Halleck. But Marcia had got it into her head that it wasn't safe to trust you to help her down, even after you had helped her up.”
“That's pretty tough on your game foot, Halleck. But Marcia thought it wasn't safe to rely on you to help her down, even after you had helped her up.”
“Ben,” said Olive, when they were seated in the train the next day, “why did you send Marcia's husband up there to her?” She had the effect of not having rested till she could ask him.
“Ben,” Olive said, once they were settled on the train the next day, “why did you send Marcia's husband up there to her?” She had the look of someone who hadn’t relaxed until she could get an answer from him.
“She was crying,” he answered.
“She was crying,” he replied.
“What do you suppose could have been the matter?”
“What do you think could have been the problem?”
“What you do: she was miserable about his coquetting with that woman.”
“What you do: she was upset about his flirting with that woman.”
“Yes. I could see that she hated terribly to have her come; and that she felt put down by her all the time. What kind of person is Mrs. Macallister?”
“Yes. I could see that she really hated having her around; and that she felt belittled by her all the time. What kind of person is Mrs. Macallister?”
“Oh, a fool,” replied Halleck. “All flirts are fools.”
“Oh, a fool,” Halleck replied. “All flirts are idiots.”
“I think she's more wicked than foolish.”
"I think she's more malicious than silly."
“Oh, no, flirts are better than they seem,—perhaps because men are better than flirts think. But they make misery just the same.”
“Oh, no, flirts are better than they appear—maybe because men are better than flirts realize. But they still cause misery regardless.”
“Yes,” sighed Olive. “Poor Marcia, poor Marcia! But I suppose that, if it were not Mrs. Macallister, it would be some one else.”
“Yeah,” Olive sighed. “Poor Marcia, poor Marcia! But I guess that if it wasn’t Mrs. Macallister, it would just be someone else.”
“Given Bartley Hubbard,—yes.”
“Sure, Bartley Hubbard—yes.”
“And given Marcia. Well,—I don't like being mixed up with other people's unhappiness, Ben. It's dangerous.”
“And about Marcia. Well, I don't like getting involved in other people's sadness, Ben. It's risky.”
“I don't like it either. But you can't very well keep out of people's unhappiness in this world.”
“I don’t like it either. But you can’t really stay away from other people’s unhappiness in this world.”
“No,” assented Olive, ruefully.
“No,” agreed Olive, ruefully.
The talk fell, and Halleck attempted to read a newspaper, while Olive looked out of the window. She presently turned to him. “Did you ever fancy any resemblance between Mrs. Hubbard and the photograph of that girl we used to joke about,—your lost love?”
The conversation died down, and Halleck tried to read a newspaper while Olive stared out the window. She soon turned to him. “Did you ever see any resemblance between Mrs. Hubbard and the photo of that girl we used to joke about—your lost love?”
“Yes,” said Halleck.
“Yeah,” said Halleck.
“What's become of it,—the photograph? I can't find it any more; I wanted to show it to her one day.”
“What's happened to the photograph? I can't find it anymore; I wanted to show it to her one day.”
“I destroyed it. I burnt it the first evening after I had met Mrs. Hubbard. It seemed to me that it wasn't right to keep it.”
“I got rid of it. I burned it the first night after meeting Mrs. Hubbard. It felt wrong to hold onto it.”
“Why, you don't think it was her photograph!”
“Why, you don't think it was her picture!”
“I think it was,” said Halleck. He took up his paper again, and read on till they left the cars.
“I think it was,” Halleck said. He picked up his paper again and continued reading until they got off the train.
That evening, when Halleck came to his sister's room to bid her good night, she threw her arms round his neck, and kissed his plain, common face, in which she saw a heavenly beauty.
That evening, when Halleck came to his sister's room to say goodnight, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his ordinary, familiar face, in which she saw a breathtaking beauty.
“Ben, dear,” she said, “if you don't turn out the happiest man in the world, I shall say there's no use in being good!”
“Ben, honey,” she said, “if you don't end up being the happiest man in the world, I'll say there's no point in being good!”
“Perhaps you'd better say that after all I wasn't good,” he suggested, with a melancholy smile.
“Maybe you should just say that I wasn’t really good, after all,” he suggested, with a sad smile.
“I shall know better,” she retorted.
"I'll know better," she shot back.
“Why, what's the matter, now?”
"What's wrong now?"
“Nothing. I was only thinking. Good night!”
“Nothing. I was just thinking. Good night!”
“Good night,” said Halleck. “You seem to think my room is better than my company, good as I am.”
“Good night,” said Halleck. “You seem to think my room is better than my company, as great as I am.”
“Yes,” she said, laughing in that breathless way which means weeping next, with women. Her eyes glistened.
“Yes,” she said, laughing in that breathless way that usually leads to tears next, with women. Her eyes sparkled.
“Well,” said Halleck, limping out of the room, “you're quite good-looking with your hair down, Olive.”
“Well,” said Halleck, limping out of the room, “you look really good with your hair down, Olive.”
“All girls are,” she answered. She leaned out of her doorway to watch him as he limped down the corridor to his own room. There was something pathetic, something disappointed and weary in the movement of his figure, and when she shut her door, and ran back to her mirror, she could not see the good-looking girl there for her tears.
“All girls are,” she replied. She leaned out of her doorway to watch him as he limped down the hallway to his own room. There was something sad, something disappointed and tired in the way he moved, and when she closed her door and rushed back to her mirror, she couldn’t see the attractive girl looking back at her because of her tears.
XXVIII.
“Hello!” said Bartley, one day after the autumn had brought back all the summer wanderers to the city, “I haven't seen you for a month of Sundays.” He had Ricker by the hand, and he pulled him into a doorway to be a little out of the rush on the crowded pavement, while they chatted.
“Hey!” said Bartley, one day after autumn had returned all the summer visitors to the city, “I haven't seen you in ages.” He had Ricker by the hand and pulled him into a doorway to get a bit out of the hustle on the crowded sidewalk while they caught up.
“That's because I can't afford to go to the White Mountains, and swell round at the aristocratic summer resorts like some people,” returned Ricker. “I'm a horny-handed son of toil, myself.”
“That's because I can't afford to go to the White Mountains and hang out at the fancy summer resorts like some people,” Ricker replied. “I'm just a hard-working guy.”
“Pshaw!” said Bartley. “Who isn't? I've been here hard at it, except for three days at one time and live at another.”
“Pshaw!” Bartley said. “Who isn't? I've been working hard here, except for three days at one point and living at another.”
“Well, all I can say is that I saw in the Record personals, that Mr. Hubbard, of the Events, was spending the summer months with his father-in-law, Judge Gaylord, among the spurs of the White Mountains. I supposed you wrote it yourself. You're full of ideas about journalism.”
“Well, all I can say is that I saw in the Record personals that Mr. Hubbard from the Events was spending the summer with his father-in-law, Judge Gaylord, in the White Mountains. I figured you wrote it yourself. You have a ton of ideas about journalism.”
“Oh, come! I wouldn't work that joke any more. Look here, Ricker, I'll tell you what I want. I want you to dine with me.”
“Oh, come on! I wouldn't keep telling that joke. Listen, Ricker, I'll be clear about what I want. I want you to have dinner with me.”
“Dines people!” said Ricker, in an awestricken aside.
“Dine guests!” said Ricker, in an amazed aside.
“No,—I mean business! You Ve never seen my kid yet: and you've never seen my house. I want you to come. We've all got back, and we're in nice running order. What day are you disengaged?”
“No—I’m serious! You’ve never met my kid, and you haven’t seen my house. I want you to come over. We’re all back, and everything is running smoothly. What day are you free?”
“Let me see,” said Ricker, thoughtfully. “So many engagements! Wait! I could squeeze your dinner in some time next month, Hubbard.”
“Let me think,” Ricker said, pondering. “So many plans! Hold on! I could fit your dinner in sometime next month, Hubbard.”
“All right. But suppose we say next Sunday. Six is the hour.”
“All right. But let’s say next Sunday. Six is the time.”
“Six? Oh, I can't dine in the middle of the forenoon that way! Make it later!”
“Six? Oh, I can't have lunch that early! Make it later!”
“Well, we'll say one P.M., then. I know your dinner hour. We shall expect you.”
“Well, let’s say one PM, then. I know when you have dinner. We’ll be expecting you.”
“Better not, till I come.” Bartley knew that this was Ricker's way of accepting, and he said nothing, but he answered his next question with easy joviality. “How are you making it with old Witherby?”
“Better not, till I come.” Bartley knew this was Ricker's way of agreeing, so he said nothing, but he replied to his next question with a relaxed cheerfulness. “How are you getting along with old Witherby?”
“Oh, hand over hand! Witherby and I were formed for each other. By, by!”
“Oh, hand over hand! Witherby and I were meant for each other. Bye, bye!”
“No, hold on! Why don't you come to the club any more?”
“No, wait! Why don't you come to the club anymore?”
“We-e-ll! The club isn't what it used to be,” said Bartley, confidentially.
“We-e-ll! The club isn’t what it used to be,” Bartley said, confidentially.
“Why, of course! It isn't just the thing for a gentleman moving in the select circles of Clover Street, as you do; but why not come, sometimes, in the character of distinguished guest, and encourage your humble friends? I was talking with a lot of the fellows about you the other night.”
“Of course! It’s perfect for a gentleman like you, who mingles in the exclusive circles of Clover Street. But why not come sometimes as a distinguished guest and support your humble friends? I was chatting with a bunch of guys about you the other night.”
“Were they abusing me?”
"Were they mistreating me?"
“They were speaking the truth about you, and I stopped them. I told them that sort of thing wouldn't do. Why, you're getting fat!”
“They were telling the truth about you, and I stopped them. I said that kind of talk wasn't okay. Honestly, you're gaining weight!”
“You're behind the times, Kicker,” said Bartley. “I began to get fat six months ago. I don't wonder the Chronicle Abstract is running down on your hands. Come round and try my tivoli on Sunday. That's what gives a man girth, my boy.” He tapped Ricker lightly on his hollow waistcoat, and left him with a wave of his hand.
“You're out of touch, Kicker,” Bartley said. “I started gaining weight six months ago. I’m not surprised the Chronicle Abstract is slipping through your fingers. Come over and check out my tivoli on Sunday. That's what puts meat on a guy, my friend.” He gave Ricker a light tap on his flat waistcoat and left him with a wave.
Ricker leaned out of the doorway and followed him down the street with a troubled eye. He had taken stock in Bartley, as the saying is, and his heart misgave him that he should lose on the investment; he could not have sold out to any of their friends for twenty cents on the dollar. Nothing that any one could lay his finger on had happened, and yet there had been a general loss of confidence in that particular stock. Ricker himself had lost confidence in it, and when he lightly mentioned that talk at the club, with a lot of the fellows, he had a serious wish to get at Bartley some time, and see what it was that was beginning to make people mistrust him. The fellows who liked him at first and wished him well, and believed in his talent, had mostly dropped him. Bartley's associates were now the most raffish set on the press, or the green hands; and something had brought this to pass in less than two years. Ricker had believed that it was Witherby; at the club he had contended that it was Bartley's association with Witherby that made people doubtful of him. As for those ideas that Bartley had advanced in their discussion of journalism, he had considered it all mere young man's nonsense that Bartley would outgrow. But now, as he looked at Bartley's back, he had his misgivings; it struck him as the back of a degenerate man, and that increasing bulk seemed not to represent an increase of wholesome substance, but a corky, buoyant tissue, materially responsive to some sort of moral dry-rot.
Ricker leaned out of the doorway and watched him walk down the street with a worried expression. He had invested in Bartley, as the saying goes, and he had a sinking feeling that he was going to lose on that investment; he couldn't have sold out to any of their friends for twenty cents on the dollar. Nothing specific had happened, but there was a general loss of confidence in that particular stock. Ricker himself had lost faith in it, and when he casually mentioned that conversation at the club with a bunch of the guys, he felt a serious urge to talk to Bartley sometime and find out what was causing people to doubt him. The guys who once supported him and believed in his talent had mostly turned away. Bartley's new circle was now the most disreputable group in the press, or inexperienced newcomers; and this change had happened in less than two years. Ricker had thought it was Witherby; at the club he argued that Bartley's connection with Witherby was making people suspicious of him. As for the ideas Bartley had shared in their discussions about journalism, Ricker considered them just immature talk that Bartley would eventually grow out of. But now, as he looked at Bartley's back, he had his doubts; it seemed to him like the back of a degenerate man, and that growing bulk looked less like an increase of healthy substance and more like a buoyant, corky tissue, indicating some sort of moral decay.
Bartley pushed on to the Events office in a blithe humor. Witherby had recently advanced his salary; he was giving him fifty dollars a week now; and Bartley had made himself necessary in more ways than one. He was not only readily serviceable, but since he had volunteered to write those advertising articles for an advance of pay, he was in possession of business facts that could be made very uncomfortable to Witherby in the event of a disagreement. Witherby not only paid him well, but treated him well; he even suffered Bartley to bully him a little, and let him foresee the day when he must be recognized as the real editor of the Events.
Bartley cheerfully headed to the Events office. Witherby had recently raised his salary; he was now paying him fifty dollars a week. Bartley had made himself essential in more ways than one. He was not only easy to depend on, but since he had offered to write those advertising articles for extra pay, he had valuable business insights that could put Witherby in a tough spot if they ever disagreed. Not only did Witherby pay him well, but he also treated him well; he even let Bartley push him around a bit and allowed him to envision the day when he would have to be acknowledged as the real editor of the Events.
At home everything went on smoothly. The baby was well and growing fast; she was beginning to explode airy bubbles on her pretty lips that a fond superstition might interpret as papa and mamma. She had passed that stage in which a man regards his child with despair; she had passed out of slippery and evasive doughiness into a firm tangibility that made it some pleasure to hold her.
At home, everything was going well. The baby was healthy and growing quickly; she was starting to blow little bubbles from her cute lips that some might romantically interpret as "papa" and "mamma." She had moved past the stage where a parent feels hopeless about their child; she had transitioned from being a soft, wobbly infant to a more solid little one, making it a joy to hold her.
Bartley liked to take her on his lap, to feel the spring of her little legs, as she tried to rise on her feet; he liked to have her stretch out her arms to him from her mother's embrace. The innocent tenderness which he experienced at these moments was satisfactory proof to him that he was a very good fellow, if not a good man. When he spent an evening at home, with Flavia in his lap for half an hour after dinner, he felt so domestic that he seemed to himself to be spending all his evenings at home now. Once or twice it had happened, when the housemaid was out, that he went to the door with the baby on his arm, and answered the ring of Olive and Ben Halleck, or of Olive and one or both of the intermediary sisters.
Bartley liked to have her sit on his lap, enjoying the bounce of her little legs as she tried to stand up; he loved it when she stretched her arms out to him from her mother's hold. The pure tenderness he felt in those moments reassured him that he was a really good guy, if not a good man. When he spent an evening at home, with Flavia in his lap for half an hour after dinner, he felt so settled that it seemed like he was spending all his evenings at home now. A couple of times, when the housemaid was out, he went to the door with the baby in his arms and answered the doorbell for Olive and Ben Halleck, or for Olive and one or both of the other sisters.
The Hallecks were the only people at all apt to call in the evening, and Bartley ran so little chance of meeting any one else, when he opened the door with Flavia on his arm, that probably he would not have thought it worth while to put her down, even if he had not rather enjoyed meeting them in that domestic phase. He had not only long felt how intensely Olive disliked him, but he had observed that somehow it embarrassed Ben Halleck to see him in his character of devoted young father. At those times he used to rally his old friend upon getting married, and laughed at the confusion to which the joke put him. He said more than once afterwards, that he did not see what fun Ben Halleck got out of coming there; it must bore even such a dull fellow as he was to sit a whole evening like that and not say twenty words. “Perhaps he's livelier when I'm not here, though,” he suggested. “I always did seem to throw a wet blanket on Ben Halleck.” He did not at all begrudge Halleck's having a better time in his absence if he could.
The Hallecks were pretty much the only people who ever visited in the evening, and Bartley figured he had little chance of running into anyone else. So when he opened the door with Flavia on his arm, he probably wouldn't have thought it was worth it to set her down, even though he actually enjoyed seeing them in that homey vibe. He had long sensed how much Olive disliked him, but he also noticed that it somehow made Ben Halleck awkward to see him as the devoted young dad. During those times, he would tease his old friend about getting married and laugh at the embarrassment it caused him. He mentioned more than once later on that he couldn’t understand why Ben Halleck found it fun to come over; it had to be boring for even someone as dull as he was to sit there for a whole evening and barely say twenty words. “Maybe he’s more lively when I’m not around,” he suggested. “I always seemed to put a damper on Ben Halleck.” He didn’t mind Halleck having a good time in his absence if that was the case.
One night when the bell rung Bartley rose, and saying, “I wonder which of the tribe it is this time,” went to the door. But when he opened it, instead of hearing the well-known voices, Marcia listened through a hesitating silence, which ended in a loud laugh from without, and a cry from her husband of “Well, I swear! Why, you infamous old scoundrel, come in out of the wet!” There ensued, amidst Bartley's voluble greetings, a noise of shy shuffling about in the hall, as of a man not perfectly master of his footing under social pressure, a sound of husky, embarrassed whispering, a dispute about doffing an overcoat, and question as to the disposition of a hat, and then Bartley reappeared, driving before him the lank, long figure of a man who blinked in the flash of gaslight, as Bartley turned it all up in the chandelier overhead, and rubbed his immense hands in cruel embarrassment at the beauty of Marcia, set like a jewel in the pretty comfort of the little parlor.
One night when the bell rang, Bartley got up and said, “I wonder who it is this time,” as he headed for the door. But when he opened it, instead of hearing familiar voices, Marcia listened to a hesitant silence that broke with a loud laugh from outside, followed by her husband’s cry of “Well, I swear! You infamous old scoundrel, come in out of the rain!” Amidst Bartley’s enthusiastic greetings, there was a noise of awkward shuffling in the hallway, like a man who wasn’t entirely sure of his footing under social pressure, husky whispers, a debate about taking off an overcoat, and questions about where to put a hat. Then Bartley came back, guiding in the tall, lanky figure of a man who blinked in the glare of the gaslight as Bartley turned it up in the chandelier above and rubbed his huge hands in awkwardness at the beauty of Marcia, set like a jewel in the cozy comfort of their little parlor.
“Mr. Kinney, Mrs. Hubbard,” said Bartley; and having accomplished the introduction, he hit Kinney a thwack between the shoulders with the flat of his hand that drove him stumbling across Marcia's footstool into the seat on the sofa to which she had pointed him. “You old fool, where did you come from?”
“Mr. Kinney, Mrs. Hubbard,” said Bartley; and after making the introduction, he gave Kinney a playful slap between the shoulders with the flat of his hand that made him stumble across Marcia's footstool into the seat on the sofa she had indicated. “You old fool, where did you come from?”
The refined warmth of Bartley's welcome seemed to make Kinney feel at home, in spite of his trepidations at Marcia's presence. He bobbed his head forward, and stretched his mouth wide, in one of his vast, silent laughs. “Better ask where I'm goin' to.”
The warm and friendly way Bartley welcomed Kinney made him feel at home, even though he was nervous about Marcia being there. He leaned his head forward and opened his mouth wide in one of his big, silent laughs. “You should probably ask me where I’m headed.”
“Well, I'll ask that, if it'll be any accommodation. Where you going?”
“Well, I’ll ask that if it’ll help. Where are you going?”
“Illinois.”
“Illinois.”
“For a divorce?”
"To get a divorce?"
“Try again.”
"Give it another shot."
“To get married?”
"Getting married?"
“Maybe, after I've made my pile.” Kinney's eyes wandered about the room, and took in its evidences of prosperity, with simple, unenvious admiration; he ended with a furtive glimpse of Marcia, who seemed to be a climax of good luck, too dazzling for contemplation; he withdrew his glance from her as if hurt by her splendor, and became serious.
“Maybe, after I've made my fortune.” Kinney's eyes roamed around the room, taking in its signs of success with straightforward, unjealous admiration; he ended with a quick look at Marcia, who seemed like the ultimate stroke of luck, too stunning to fully take in; he turned his gaze away from her as if her brilliance pained him, and became serious.
“Well, you're the last man I ever expected to see again,” said Bartley, sitting down with the baby in his lap, and contemplating Kinney with deliberation. Kinney was dressed in a long frock-coat of cheap diagonals, black cassimere pantaloons, a blue necktie, and a celluloid collar. He had evidently had one of his encounters with a cheap clothier, in which the Jew had triumphed; but he had not yet visited a barber, and his hair and beard were as shaggy as they were in the logging-camp; his hands and face were as brown as leather. “But I'm as glad,” Bartley added, “as if you had telegraphed you were coming. Of course, you're going to put up with us.” He had observed Kinney's awe of Marcia, and he added this touch to let Kinney see that he was master in his house, and lord even of that radiant presence.
“Well, you're the last person I expected to see again,” Bartley said, sitting down with the baby in his lap and looking at Kinney thoughtfully. Kinney was wearing a long, cheap diagonal frock coat, black pants, a blue necktie, and a celluloid collar. It was clear he had just had a run-in with a low-cost tailor, where the tailor had come out on top; but he hadn't been to a barber yet, and his hair and beard were as messy as they had been in the logging camp; his hands and face were as brown as leather. “But I'm really glad,” Bartley added, “as if you had sent a telegram saying you were coming. Of course, you’re staying with us.” He noticed Kinney’s admiration for Marcia, and he added this comment to show Kinney that he was in charge of his home, even over that stunning presence.
Kinney started in real distress. “Oh, no! I couldn't do it! I've got all my things round at the Quincy House.”
Kinney jumped in panic. “Oh no! I can’t do that! I’ve got all my stuff over at the Quincy House.”
“Trunk or bag?” asked Bartley.
"Trunk or luggage?" asked Bartley.
“Well, it's a bag; but—”
“Well, it’s a bag; but—”
“All right. We'll step round and get it together. I generally take a little stroll out, after dinner,” said Bartley, tranquilly.
“All right. We'll go around and get it sorted. I usually take a little walk after dinner,” said Bartley, calmly.
Kinney was beginning again, when Marcia, who had been stealing some covert looks at him under her eye lashes, while she put together the sewing she was at work on, preparatory to going upstairs with the baby, joined Bartley in his invitation.
Kinney was starting over when Marcia, who had been secretly glancing at him from under her eyelashes while she gathered the sewing she was working on to take upstairs with the baby, joined Bartley in extending the invitation.
“You wont make us the least trouble, Mr. Kinney,” she said. “The guest-chamber is all ready, and we shall be glad to have you stay.”
“You won’t be any trouble at all, Mr. Kinney,” she said. “The guest room is all set, and we’ll be happy to have you stay.”
Kinney must have felt the note of sincerity in her words. He hesitated, and Bartley clinched his tacit assent with a quotation: “'The chief ornament of a house is the guests who frequent it.' Who says that?”
Kinney must have sensed the sincerity in her words. He paused, and Bartley solidified his unspoken agreement with a quote: “'The chief ornament of a house is the guests who frequent it.' Who said that?”
Kinney's little blue eyes twinkled. “Old Emerson.”
Kinney's little blue eyes sparkled. “Old Emerson.”
“Well, I agree with him. We don't care anything about your company, Kinney; but we want you for decorative purposes.”
“Well, I agree with him. We don't care at all about your company, Kinney; we just want you for decoration.”
Kinney opened his mouth for another noiseless laugh, and said, “Well, fix it to suit yourselves.”
Kinney opened his mouth to let out another silent laugh and said, “Well, make it work for you.”
“I'll carry her up for you,” said Bartley to Marcia, who was stooping forward to take the baby from him, “if Mr. Kinney will excuse us a moment.”
“I'll carry her up for you,” Bartley said to Marcia, who was bending forward to take the baby from him, “if Mr. Kinney will excuse us for a moment.”
“All right,” said Kinney.
“Okay,” said Kinney.
Bartley ventured upon this bold move, because he had found that it was always best to have things out with Marcia at once, and, if she was going to take his hospitality to Kinney in bad part, he wanted to get through the trouble. “That was very nice of you, Marcia,” he said, when they were in their own room. “My invitation rather slipped out, and I didn't know how you would like it.”
Bartley took this bold step because he realized it was always best to address things directly with Marcia right away, and if she was going to take his invitation to Kinney the wrong way, he wanted to clear the air. “That was really nice of you, Marcia,” he said when they were in their own room. “My invitation kind of slipped out, and I wasn't sure how you would feel about it.”
“Oh, I'm very glad to have him stay. I never forget about his wanting to lend you money that time,” said Marcia, opening the baby's crib.
“Oh, I'm really happy to have him here. I still remember him wanting to lend you money back then,” said Marcia, opening the baby's crib.
“You're a mighty good fellow, Marcia!” cried Bartley, kissing her over the top of the baby's head as she took it from him. “And I'm not half good enough for you. You never forget a benefit. Nor an injury either,” he added, with a laugh. “And I'm afraid that I forget one about as easily as the other.”
“You're such a great person, Marcia!” Bartley exclaimed, kissing her on the top of the baby's head as she took it from him. “And I’m not nearly as good as you are. You never forget a favor. Or a wrong, either,” he added with a laugh. “And I’m worried that I forget one just as easily as the other.”
Marcia's eyes suffused themselves at this touch of self-analysis which, coming from Bartley, had its sadness; but she said nothing, and he was eager to escape and get back to their guest. He told her he should go out with Kinney, and that she was not to sit up, for they might be out late.
Marcia's eyes filled with emotion at this moment of self-reflection which, coming from Bartley, felt tinged with sadness; but she stayed quiet, and he was eager to get away and return to their guest. He told her he would be going out with Kinney and that she shouldn’t wait up, as they might be out late.
In his pride, he took Kinney down to the Events office, and unlocked it, and lit the gas, so as to show him the editorial rooms; and then he passed him into one of the theatres, where they saw part of an Offenbach opera; after that they went to the Parker House, and had a New York stew. Kinney said he must be off by the Sunday-night train, and Bartley thought it well to concentrate as many dazzling effects upon him as he could in the single evening at his disposal. He only regretted that it was not the club night, for he would have liked to take Kinney round, and show him some of the fellows.
In his pride, he took Kinney down to the Events office, unlocked it, and turned on the gas to show him the editorial rooms. After that, they went into one of the theaters to catch part of an Offenbach opera. Then they headed to the Parker House for a New York stew. Kinney mentioned that he needed to catch the Sunday-night train, so Bartley thought it would be best to give him as many impressive experiences as he could in the single evening they had. He only wished it was club night because he would have liked to take Kinney around and introduce him to some of the guys.
“But never mind,” he said. “I'm going to have one of them dine with us to-morrow, and you'll see about the best of the lot.”
“But never mind,” he said. “I'm going to have one of them over for dinner tomorrow, and you'll see who’s the best of the bunch.”
“Well, sir,” observed Kinney, when they had got back into Bartley's parlor, and he was again drinking in its prettiness in the subdued light of the shaded argand burner, “I hain't seen anything yet that suits me much better than this.”
“Well, sir,” Kinney said as they settled back into Bartley's parlor, taking in the beauty of the space in the soft light of the shaded argand burner, “I haven’t seen anything yet that I like much better than this.”
“It isn't bad,” said Bartley. He had got up a plate of crackers and two bottles of tivoli, and was opening the first. He offered the beaded goblet to Kinney.
“It’s not bad,” said Bartley. He had set up a plate of crackers and two bottles of Tivoli, and was opening the first one. He offered the beaded goblet to Kinney.
“Thank you,” said Kinney. “Not any. I never do.”
“Thanks,” said Kinney. “Nope, I never do.”
Bartley quaffed half of it in tolerant content. “I always do. Find it takes my nerves down at the end of a hard week's work. Well, now, tell me some thing about yourself. What are you going to do in Illinois?”
Bartley downed half of it with a sense of relaxed satisfaction. “I always do. I find it helps calm my nerves after a tough week at work. So, tell me something about yourself. What are your plans in Illinois?”
“Well, sir, I've got a friend out there that's got a coal mine, and he thinks he can work me in somehow. I guess he can: I've tried pretty much everything. Why don't you come out there and start a newspaper? We've got a town that's bound to grow.”
“Well, sir, I have a friend out there who owns a coal mine, and he thinks he can find a way to get me a job. I think he can: I've done just about everything. Why don’t you come out there and start a newspaper? We have a town that’s sure to grow.”
It amused Bartley to hear Kinney bragging already of a town that he had never seen. He winked a good-natured disdain over the rim of the goblet which he tilted on his lips. “And give up my chances here?” he said, as he set the goblet down.
It amused Bartley to hear Kinney already bragging about a town he had never seen. He gave a good-natured smirk over the rim of the goblet he tilted to his lips. “And give up my opportunities here?” he said as he put the goblet down.
“Well, that's so!” said Kinney, responding to the sense of the wink. “I'll tell you what, Bartley, I didn't know as you'd speak to me when I rung your bell to-night. But thinks I to myself, 'Dumn it! look here! He can't more'n slam the door in your face, anyway. And you've hankered after him so long,—go and take your chances, you old buzzard!' And so I got your address at the Events office pretty early this morning; and I went round all day screwing my courage up, as old Macbeth says,—or Ritchloo, I don't know which it was,—and at last I did get myself so that I toed the mark like a little man.”
“Well, that’s true!” said Kinney, picking up on the hint of the wink. “I’ll tell you what, Bartley, I didn’t think you’d talk to me when I rang your bell tonight. But I thought to myself, ‘Darn it! Look! He can only slam the door in your face anyway. And you’ve wanted to see him for so long—go on and take your chances, you old buzzard!’ So I got your address at the Events office pretty early this morning; and I spent all day working up my courage, like old Macbeth says—or Ritchloo, I’m not sure which it was—and finally, I managed to get myself together and approached like a little man.”
Bartley laughed so that he could hardly get the cork out of the second bottle.
Bartley laughed so hard that he could barely get the cork out of the second bottle.
“You see,” said Kinney, leaning forward, and taking Bartley's plump, soft knee between his thumb and forefinger, “I felt awfully about the way we parted that night. I felt bad. I hadn't acted well, just to my own mind, and it cut me to have you refuse my money; it cut me all the worse because I saw that you was partly right; I hadn't been quite fair with you. But I always did admire you, and you know it. Some them little things you used to get off in the old Free Press—well, I could see 't you was smart. And I liked you; and it kind o' hurt me when I thought you'd been makin' fun o' me to that woman. Well, I could see 't I was a dumned old fool, afterwards. And I always wanted to tell you so. And I always did hope that I should be able to offer you that money again, twice over, and get you to take it just to show that you didn't bear malice.” Bartley looked up, with quickened interest. “But I can't do it now, sir,” added Kinney.
“You see,” said Kinney, leaning forward and taking Bartley's plump, soft knee between his thumb and forefinger, “I really felt bad about how we ended things that night. I felt bad. I didn’t handle it well, in my opinion, and it hurt to have you refuse my money; it hurt even more because I realized you were partly right; I hadn't been completely fair to you. But I always admired you, and you know that. Those little pieces you used to write in the old Free Press—well, I could tell you were smart. I liked you; and it kind of hurt me when I thought you were making fun of me to that woman. Well, I saw I was a dumb old fool afterwards. And I always wanted to tell you that. I always hoped I could offer you that money again, double, and get you to accept it just to show you didn’t hold a grudge.” Bartley looked up, intrigued. “But I can’t do it now, sir,” added Kinney.
“Why, what's happened?” asked Bartley, in a disappointed tone, pouring out his second glass from his second bottle.
“Why, what’s happened?” Bartley asked, sounding disappointed as he poured his second glass from the second bottle.
“Well, sir,” said Kinney, with a certain reluctance, “I undertook to provision the camp on spec, last winter, and—well, you know, I always run a little on food for the brain,”—Bartley broke into a reminiscent cackle, and Kinney smiled forlornly,—“and thinks I, 'Dumn it, I'll give 'em the real thing, every time.' And I got hold of a health-food circular; and I sent on for a half a dozen barrels of their crackers and half a dozen of their flour, and a lot of cracked cocoa, and I put the camp on a health-food basis. I calculated to bring those fellows out in the spring physically vigorous and mentally enlightened. But my goodness! After the first bakin' o' that flour and the first round o' them crackers, it was all up! Fellows got so mad that I suppose if I hadn't gone back to doughnuts, and sody biscuits, and Japan tea, they'd 'a' burnt the camp down. Of course I yielded. But it ruined me, Bartley; it bu'st me.”
“Well, sir,” said Kinney, hesitantly, “last winter I decided to stock the camp on a whim, and—well, you know I always put a little extra thought into food,”—Bartley let out a nostalgic laugh, and Kinney smiled sadly,—“and I thought, 'Darn it, I’ll give them the real deal, every time.' So I got this health-food brochure and ordered six barrels of their crackers, six barrels of their flour, and some cracked cocoa, and I set the camp up on a health-food diet. I planned to get those guys out in the spring, both strong and enlightened. But my goodness! After the first batch of that flour and the first round of those crackers, it was a disaster! The guys got so angry that I bet if I hadn’t switched back to donuts, and soda biscuits, and Japan tea, they would’ve burned the camp down. Of course, I gave in. But it wrecked me, Bartley; it broke me.”
Bartley dropped his arms upon the table, and, hiding his face upon them, laughed and laughed again.
Bartley dropped his arms onto the table and, hiding his face in them, laughed and laughed again.
“Well, sir,” said Kinney, with sad satisfaction, “I'm glad to see that you don't need any money from me.” He had been taking another survey of the parlor and the dining-room beyond. “I don't know as I ever saw anybody much better fixed. I should say that you was a success; and you deserve it. You're a smart fellow, Bart, and you're a good fellow. You're a generous fellow.” Kinney's voice shook with emotion.
“Well, sir,” said Kinney, with a bittersweet smile, “I'm glad to see that you don’t need any money from me.” He had been glancing around the parlor and the dining room beyond. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone better off. I’d say you’re a success, and you deserve it. You’re a smart guy, Bart, and you’re a good person. You’re really generous.” Kinney's voice trembled with emotion.
Bartley, having lifted his wet and flushed face, managed to say: “Oh, there's nothing mean about me, Kinney,” as he felt blindly for the beer bottles, which he shook in succession with an evident surprise at finding them empty.
Bartley, raising his wet and flushed face, managed to say, “Oh, there’s nothing petty about me, Kinney,” as he searched blindly for the beer bottles, shaking them one after another in clear surprise at finding them empty.
“You've acted like a brother to me, Bartley Hubbard,” continued Kinney, “and I sha'n't forget it in a hurry. I guess it would about broke my heart, if you hadn't taken it just the way you did to-night. I should like to see the man that didn't use you well, or the woman, either!” said Kinney, with vague defiance. “Though they don't seem to have done so bad by you,” he added, in recognition of Marcia's merit. “I should say that was the biggest part of your luck She's a lady, sir, every inch of her. Mighty different stripe from that Montreal woman that cut up so that night.”
“You’ve been like a brother to me, Bartley Hubbard,” Kinney continued, “and I won’t forget it anytime soon. It would have really broken my heart if you hadn’t taken it the way you did tonight. I’d like to see the man or woman who hasn’t treated you well!” Kinney said, somewhat defiantly. “Though it seems they haven’t done too badly by you,” he added, acknowledging Marcia’s worth. “I’d say that was the biggest part of your luck. She’s a lady, sir, every bit of her. So different from that Montreal woman who caused such a scene that night.”
“Oh, Mrs. Macallister wasn't such a scamp, after all,” said Bartley, with magnanimity.
“Oh, Mrs. Macallister wasn't such a troublemaker after all,” said Bartley, generously.
“Well, sir, you can say so. I ain't going to be too strict with a girl; but I like to see a married woman act like a married woman. Now, I don't think you'd catch Mrs. Hubbard flirting with a young fellow the way that woman went on with you that night?” Bartley grinned. “Well, sir, you're getting along and you're happy.”
“Well, sir, you can say that. I’m not going to be too hard on a girl; but I like to see a married woman act like a married woman. Now, I don’t think you’d catch Mrs. Hubbard flirting with a young guy the way that woman was with you that night?” Bartley grinned. “Well, sir, you’re doing well and you’re happy.”
“Perfect clam,” said Bartley.
"Perfect clam," Bartley said.
“Such a position as you've got,—such a house, such a wife, and such a baby! Well,” said Kinney, rising, “it's a little too much for me.”
“Such a position as you've got—such a house, such a wife, and such a baby! Well,” said Kinney, getting up, “it's a little too much for me.”
“Want to go to bed?” asked Bartley.
“Want to go to bed?” Bartley asked.
“Yes, I guess I better turn in,” returned Kinney, despairingly.
“Yes, I guess I should head to bed,” Kinney replied, feeling hopeless.
“Show you the way.”
"Guide you."
Bartley tripped up stairs with Kinney's bag, which they had left standing in the hall, while Kinney creaked carefully after him; and so led the way to the guest-chamber, and turned up the gaslight, which had been left burning low.
Bartley stumbled up the stairs with Kinney's bag, which they had left in the hall, while Kinney cautiously followed behind him. He led the way to the guest room and turned up the gaslight that had been burning low.
Kinney stood erect, dwarfing the room, and looked round on the pink chintzing, and soft carpet, and white coverleted bed, and lace-hooded dressing-mirror, with meek veneration. “Well, I swear!” He said no more, but sat hopelessly down, and began to pull off his boots.
Kinney stood tall, dominating the room, and glanced around at the pink fabric, soft carpet, white-covered bed, and lace-trimmed dressing mirror with respectful awe. “Well, I swear!” He didn’t say anything else, but sat down helplessly and started to take off his boots.
He was in the same humble mood the next morning, when, having got up inordinately early, he was found trying to fix his mind on a newspaper by Bartley, who came down late to the Sunday breakfast, and led his guest into the dining-room. Marcia, in a bewitching morning-gown, was already there, having put the daintier touches to the meal herself; and the baby, in a fresh white dress, was there tied into its arm-chair with a napkin, and beating on the table with a spoon. Bartley's nonchalance amidst all this impressed Kinney with a yet more poignant sense of his superiority, and almost deprived him of the powers of speech. When after breakfast Bartley took him out to Cambridge on the horse-cars, and showed him the College buildings, and Memorial Hall, and the Washington Elm, and Mount Auburn, Kinney fell into such a cowed and broken condition, that something had to be specially done to put him in repair against Ricker's coming to dinner. Marcia luckily thought of asking him if he would like to see her kitchen. In this region Kinney found himself at home, and praised its neat perfection with professional intelligence. Bartley followed them round with Flavia on his arm, and put in a jocose word here and there, when he saw Kinney about to fall a prey to his respect for Marcia, and so kept him going till Ricker rang. He contrived to give Ricker a hint of the sort of man he had on his hands, and by their joint effort they had Kinney talking about himself at dinner before he knew what he was about. He could not help talking well upon this theme, and he had them so vividly interested, as he poured out adventure after adventure in his strange career, that Bartley began to be proud of him.
He was feeling the same humble vibe the next morning when, having woken up way too early, Bartley found him trying to focus on a newspaper. Bartley, who came down late for Sunday breakfast, led his guest into the dining room. Marcia, looking enchanting in her morning gown, was already there, having added her own special touches to the meal. The baby, dressed in a fresh white dress, was tied into its high chair with a napkin and banging on the table with a spoon. Bartley's calm demeanor in the midst of all this struck Kinney, intensifying his sense of inferiority and nearly leaving him speechless. After breakfast, when Bartley took him out to Cambridge on the trolleys and showed him the college buildings, Memorial Hall, the Washington Elm, and Mount Auburn, Kinney became so timid and subdued that something had to be done to prepare him for Ricker's arrival for dinner. Thankfully, Marcia thought to ask him if he wanted to see her kitchen. In that space, Kinney found his footing and praised its tidy perfection with professional insight. Bartley followed them around with Flavia on his arm, throwing in a joke here and there to keep Kinney from getting too overwhelmed by his admiration for Marcia, keeping him engaged until Ricker arrived. Bartley managed to give Ricker a hint about the kind of guy he was dealing with, and together they got Kinney talking about himself at dinner before he even realized it. He couldn’t help but speak passionately on the subject, and he captivated them as he shared adventure after adventure from his unusual life, making Bartley feel a sense of pride in him.
“Well, sir,” said Ricker, when he came to a pause, “you've lived a romance.”
“Well, sir,” Ricker said, taking a pause, “you’ve had quite a life story.”
“Yes,” replied Kinney, looking at Bartley for his approval, “and I've always thought that, if I ever got run clean ashore, high and dry, I'd make a stagger to write it out and do something with it. Do you suppose I could?”
“Yes,” replied Kinney, looking at Bartley for his approval, “and I've always thought that if I ever got completely stuck, high and dry, I would try to write it all out and do something with it. Do you think I could?”
“I promise to take it for the Sunday edition of the Chronicle Abstract, whenever you get it ready,” said Ricker.
“I promise to take it for the Sunday edition of the Chronicle Abstract, whenever you have it ready,” said Ricker.
Bartley laid his hand on his friend's arm. “It's bought up, old fellow. That narrative—'Confessions of an Average American'—belongs to the Events.”
Bartley placed his hand on his friend's arm. “It's all settled, my friend. That story—'Confessions of an Average American'—is part of the Events.”
They had their laugh at this, and then Ricker said to Kinney: “But look here, my friend! What's to prevent our interviewing you on this little personal history of yours, and using your material any way we like? It seems to me that you've put your head in the lion's mouth.”
They had a good laugh about it, and then Ricker said to Kinney: “But listen, my friend! What's stopping us from interviewing you about your little personal history and using your material however we want? It seems to me that you've stuck your head in the lion's mouth.”
“Oh, I'm amongst gentlemen,” said Kinney, with an innocent swagger. “I understand that.”
“Oh, I’m with gentlemen,” said Kinney, with a naive confidence. “I get that.”
“Well, I don't know about it,” said Ricker. “Hubbard, here, is used to all sorts of hard names; but I've never had that epithet applied to me before.”
“Well, I’m not sure about that,” said Ricker. “Hubbard here is used to all kinds of harsh names, but I’ve never had that label applied to me before.”
Kinney doubled himself up over the side of his chair in recognition of Ricker's joke; and when Bartley rose and asked him if he would come into the parlor and have a cigar, he said, with a wink, no, he guessed he would stay with the ladies. He waited with great mystery till the folding-doors were closed, and Bartley had stopped peeping through the crevice between them, and then he began to disengage from his watch-chain the golden nugget, shaped to a rude sphere, which hung there. This done, he asked if he might put it on the little necklace—a christening gift from Mrs. Halleck—which the baby had on, to see how it looked. It looked very well, like an old Roman bolla, though neither Kinney nor Marcia knew it. “Guess we'll let it stay there,” he suggested, timidly.
Kinney leaned over the side of his chair, laughing at Ricker's joke. When Bartley got up and invited him to join him in the parlor for a cigar, he winked and said no, that he preferred to stay with the ladies. He waited with a playful mystery until the folding doors were shut and Bartley had stopped peeking through the small gap. Then he started to take a golden nugget, shaped like a rough sphere, off his watch-chain. Once he had it free, he asked if he could put it on the baby’s little necklace—a christening gift from Mrs. Halleck—to see how it looked. It looked great, like an ancient Roman bolla, even though neither Kinney nor Marcia recognized it. "I guess we'll let it stay there," he suggested shyly.
“Mr. Kinney!” cried Marcia, in amaze, “I can't let you!”
“Mr. Kinney!” Marcia exclaimed in surprise, “I can't allow you to do that!”
“Oh, do now, ma'am!” pleaded the big fellow, simply. “If you knew how much good it does me, you would. Why, it's been like heaven to me to get into such a home as this for a day,—it has indeed.”
“Oh, please now, ma'am!” the big guy pleaded earnestly. “If you knew how much good it does me, you would. Honestly, it’s been like heaven for me to be in a home like this for a day—it really has.”
“Like heaven?” said Marcia, turning pale. “Oh, my!”
“Like heaven?” Marcia said, going pale. “Oh my!”
“Well, I don't mean any harm. What I mean is, I've knocked about the world so much, and never had any home of my own, that to see folks as happy as you be makes me happier than I've been since I don't know when. Now, you let it stay. It was the first piece of gold I picked up in Californy when I went out there in '50, and it's about the last; I didn't have very good luck. Well, of course! I know I ain't fit to give it; but I want to do it. I think Bartley's about the greatest fellow and he's the best fellow this world can show. That's the way I feel about him. And I want to do it. Sho! the thing wa'n't no use to me!”
“Well, I don’t mean any harm. What I mean is, I’ve traveled around so much and never had a home of my own, that seeing people as happy as you are makes me happier than I’ve been in a long time. Now, you let it stay. It was the first piece of gold I picked up in California when I went out there in ’50, and it’s pretty much the last; I didn’t have very good luck. Well, of course! I know I’m not really in a position to give it, but I want to do it. I think Bartley’s one of the greatest guys and he’s the best person this world has to offer. That’s how I feel about him. And I want to do it. Shoot! The thing wasn’t any use to me!”
Marcia always gave her maid off all work Sunday afternoon, and she would not trespass upon her rule because she had guests that day. Except for the confusion to which Kinney's unexpected gift had put her, she would have waited for him to join the others before she began to clear away the dinner; but now she mechanically began, and Kinney, to whom these domestic occupations were a second nature, joined her in the work, equally absent-minded in the fervor of his petition.
Marcia always gave her maid Sunday afternoons off, and she wouldn't break that rule just because she had guests that day. Aside from the distraction caused by Kinney's unexpected gift, she would have waited for him to join the others before she started clearing away the dinner. But now, she automatically began, and Kinney, who was second nature at these household tasks, joined her in the work, equally lost in his enthusiastic request.
Bartley suddenly flung open the doors. “My dear, Mr. Ricker says he must be go—” He discovered Marcia with the dish of potatoes in her hand, and Kinney in the act of carrying off the platter of turkey. “Look here, Ricker!”
Bartley suddenly threw open the doors. “My dear, Mr. Ricker says he has to go—” He found Marcia holding a dish of potatoes and Kinney in the process of taking the platter of turkey. “Look here, Ricker!”
Kinney came to himself, and, opening his mouth above the platter wide enough to swallow the remains of the turkey, slapped his leg with the hand that he released for the purpose, and shouted, “The ruling passion, Bartley, the ruling passion!”
Kinney snapped back to reality, and, opening his mouth wide enough to gulp down the leftovers of the turkey on the platter, slapped his leg with the hand he had freed for that purpose and shouted, “The driving force, Bartley, the driving force!”
The men roared; but Marcia, even while she took in the situation, did not see anything so ridiculous in it as they. She smiled a little in sympathy with their mirth, and then said, with a look and tone which he had not seen or heard in her since the day of their picnic at Equity, “Come, see what Mr. Kinney has given baby, Bartley.”
The men laughed loudly; however, Marcia, while assessing the situation, didn’t find it as funny as they did. She smiled slightly, sharing in their amusement, and then said, with a look and tone he hadn’t seen or heard from her since their picnic at Equity, “Come, look at what Mr. Kinney got for the baby, Bartley.”
They sat up talking Kinney over after he was gone; but even at ten o'clock Bartley said he should not go to bed; he felt like writing.
They stayed up chatting about Kinney after he left; but even at ten o'clock, Bartley insisted he wouldn't go to bed; he felt like writing.
XXIX.
Bartley lived well now. He felt that he could afford it, on fifty dollars a week; and yet somehow he had always a sheaf of unpaid bills on hand. Rent was so much, the butcher so much, the grocer so much; these were the great outlays, and he knew just what they were; but the sum total was always much larger than he expected. At a pinch, he borrowed; but he did not let Marcia know of this, for she would have starved herself to pay the debt; what was worse, she would have wished him to starve with her. He kept the purse, and he kept the accounts; he was master in his house, and he meant to be so.
Bartley was doing well now. He felt like he could manage on fifty dollars a week, yet somehow he always had a stack of unpaid bills. Rent was a certain amount, the butcher cost another, the grocer had his price; these were the major expenses, and he knew exactly what they were. But in the end, the total was always much higher than he expected. When he really needed to, he borrowed money; but he didn't let Marcia know about this, because she would have denied herself just to pay off the debt. Even worse, she would have wanted him to go without food too. He handled the finances and kept track of the bills; he was in charge of the household and intended to remain so.
The pinch always seemed to come in the matter of clothes, and then Marcia gave up whatever she wanted, and said she must make the old things do. Bartley hated this; in his position he must dress well, and, as there was nothing mean about him, he wished Marcia to dress well to. Just at this time he had set his heart on her having a certain sacque which they had noticed in a certain window one day when they were on Washington Street together. He surprised her a week later by bringing the sacque home to her, and he surprised himself with a seal-skin cap which he had long coveted: it was coming winter, now, and for half a dozen days of the season he would really need the cap. There would be many days when it would be comfortable, and many others when it would be tolerable, and he looked so handsome in it that Marcia herself could not quite feel that it was an extravagance. She asked him how they could afford both of the things at once, but he answered with easy mystery that he had provided the funds; and she went gayly round with him to call on the Hallecks that evening and show off her sacque. It was so stylish and pretty that it won her a compliment from Ben Halleck, which she noticed because it was the first compliment, or anything like it, that he had ever paid her. She repeated it to Bartley. “He said that I looked like a Hungarian princess that he saw in Vienna.”
The struggle always seemed to revolve around clothes, and then Marcia would sacrifice whatever she wanted, insisting she had to make do with her old things. Bartley hated this; given his role, he needed to dress well, and since he had no issues with how he presented himself, he wanted Marcia to look good too. At that moment, he was fixated on her having a certain coat they had seen in a shop window one day while walking down Washington Street together. He surprised her a week later by bringing the coat home to her, and he surprised himself by getting a seal-skin cap that he had wanted for a long time: winter was approaching, and for several days during the season, he would genuinely need it. There would be plenty of days when it would be comfortable to wear, and many others when it would be just fine, plus he looked so handsome in it that Marcia couldn't quite convince herself it was a splurge. She asked him how they could afford both items at once, but he responded with a casual air of mystery, saying he had figured out the finances; so she happily joined him to visit the Hallecks that evening and show off her new coat. It was so stylish and lovely that it earned her a compliment from Ben Halleck, which she took notice of since it was the first compliment, or anything resembling one, he had ever given her. She relayed it to Bartley. “He said I looked like a Hungarian princess he saw in Vienna.”
“Well, I suppose it has a hussar kind of look with that fur trimming and that broad braid. Did anybody say anything about my cap?” asked Bartley with burlesque eagerness.
“Well, I guess it has a hussar vibe with that fur trim and that wide braid. Did anyone say anything about my cap?” Bartley asked with exaggerated enthusiasm.
“Oh, poor Bartley!” she cried in laughing triumph. “I don't believe any of them noticed it; and you kept twirling it round in your hands all the time to make them look.”
“Oh, poor Bartley!” she exclaimed with a laugh of triumph. “I don’t think any of them noticed it; and you kept spinning it around in your hands the whole time to make them look.”
“Yes, I did my level best,” said Bartley.
“Yes, I tried my hardest,” said Bartley.
They had a jolly time about that. Marcia was proud of her sacque; when she took it off and held it up by the loop in the neck, so as to realize its prettiness, she said she should make it last three winters at least; and she leaned over and gave Bartley a sweet kiss of gratitude and affection, and told him not to try to make up for it by extra work, but to help her scrimp for it.
They had a great time talking about that. Marcia was proud of her jacket; when she took it off and held it up by the loop in the neck to appreciate its beauty, she said she planned to make it last at least three winters. She leaned over and gave Bartley a sweet kiss of gratitude and affection, telling him not to try to make up for it with extra work, but to help her save for it instead.
“I'd rather do the extra work,” he protested. In fact he already had the extra work done. It was something that he felt he had the right to sell outside of the Events, and he carried his manuscript to Ricker and offered it to him for his Sunday edition.
“I’d rather put in the extra effort,” he protested. In fact, he had already completed the extra work. It was something he believed he had the right to sell outside of the Events, and he brought his manuscript to Ricker and offered it to him for his Sunday edition.
Ricker read the title and ran his eye down the first slip, and then glanced quickly at Hubbard. “You don't mean it?”
Ricker read the title and scanned the first slip, then quickly looked over at Hubbard. “You can't be serious?”
“Yes I do,” said Bartley. “Why not?”
“Yes, I do,” Bartley replied. “Why not?”
“I thought he was going to use the material himself some time.”
“I thought he was going to use the material himself sometime.”
Bartley laughed. “He use the material! Why, he can't write, any more than a hen; he can make tracks on paper, but nobody would print 'em, much less buy 'em. I know him, he's all right. It wouldn't hurt the material for his purpose, any way; and he'll be tickled to death when he sees it. If he ever does. Look here, Ricker!” added Bartley, with a touch of anger at the hesitation in his friend's face, “if you're going to spring any conscientious scruples on me, I prefer to offer my manuscript elsewhere. I give you the first chance at it; but it needn't go begging. Do you suppose I'd do this if I didn't understand the man, and know just how he'd take it?”
Bartley laughed. “He’s using the material! Seriously, he can't write, any more than a chicken; he can scribble on paper, but nobody would publish it, much less buy it. I know him, he’s fine. It wouldn’t hurt the material for his purposes anyway, and he’ll be thrilled when he sees it. If he ever does. Listen, Ricker!” Bartley added, with a hint of frustration at the doubt on his friend’s face, “if you’re going to throw any moral objections at me, I’d rather take my manuscript somewhere else. I’m giving you the first shot at it; but it doesn’t have to go untouched. Do you think I’d do this if I didn’t know the guy and understand exactly how he’d react?”
“Why, of course, Hubbard! I beg your pardon. If you say it's all right, I am bound to be satisfied. What do you want for it?”
“Of course, Hubbard! I'm sorry. If you say it's fine, I have to be okay with it. What do you want for it?”
“Fifty dollars.”
"$50."
“That's a good deal, isn't it?”
"That's a great deal, right?"
“Yes, it is. But I can't afford to do a dishonorable thing for less money,” said Bartley, with a wink.
“Yes, it is. But I can’t bring myself to do something dishonorable for less money,” said Bartley, with a wink.
The next Sunday, when Marcia came home from church, she went into the parlor a moment to speak to Bartley before she ran upstairs to the baby. He was writing, and she put her left hand on his back while with her right she held her sacque slung over her shoulder by the loop, and leaned forward with a wandering eye on the papers that strewed the table. In that attitude he felt her pause and grow absorbed, and then rigid; her light caress tightened into a grip. “Why, how base! How shameful! That man shall never enter my doors again! Why, it's stealing!”
The next Sunday, when Marcia got home from church, she stopped by the parlor for a moment to talk to Bartley before heading upstairs to the baby. He was writing, and she placed her left hand on his back while holding her coat over her shoulder with her right hand, leaning in to glance at the papers scattered across the table. In that position, he sensed her pause, become engrossed, and then tense; her gentle touch turned into a firm grip. “How disgraceful! How shameful! That man will never set foot in my house again! It's downright theft!”
“What's the matter? What are you talking about?” Bartley looked up with a frown of preparation.
“What's wrong? What are you saying?” Bartley looked up with a frown, ready for anything.
“This!” cried Marcia, snatching up the Chronicle-Abstract, at which she had been looking. “Haven't you seen it? Here's Mr. Kinney's life all written out! And when he said that he was going to keep it and write it out himself. That thief has stolen it!”
“This!” shouted Marcia, grabbing the Chronicle-Abstract she had been studying. “Haven't you seen it? Here’s Mr. Kinney’s life fully written out! And he said he was going to keep it and write it himself. That thief has taken it!”
“Look out how you talk,” said Bartley. “Kinney's an old fool, and he never could have written it out in the world—”
“Watch how you speak,” said Bartley. “Kinney's just an old fool, and he could never have written it out in the world—”
“That makes no difference. He said that he told the things because he knew he was among gentlemen. A great gentleman Mr. Ricker is! And I thought he was so nice!” The tears sprang to her eyes, which flashed again. “I want you to break off with him. Bartley; I don't want you to have anything to do with such a thief! And I shall be proud to tell everybody that you've broken off with him because he was a thief. Oh, Bartley—”
“That doesn’t matter. He said he revealed everything because he knew he was with gentlemen. Mr. Ricker is such a great gentleman! And I thought he was so nice!” Tears welled up in her eyes, which sparkled again. “I want you to cut ties with him, Bartley; I don’t want you to be involved with someone like that thief! And I’ll be proud to tell everyone that you ended things with him because he was a thief. Oh, Bartley—”
“Hold your tongue!” shouted her husband.
“Shut your mouth!” her husband yelled.
“I won't hold my tongue! And if you defend—”
“I won't stay silent! And if you stand by—”
“Don't you say a word against Ricker. It's all right, I tell you. You don't understand such things. You don't know what you're talking about. I—I—I wrote the thing myself.”
“Don’t say anything bad about Ricker. It’s fine, trust me. You just don’t get it. You have no idea what you’re talking about. I—I—I wrote it myself.”
He could face her, but she could not face him. There was a subsidence in her proud attitude, as if her physical strength had snapped with her breaking spirit.
He could look at her, but she couldn't look at him. Her proud demeanor faded, as if her physical strength had given out along with her breaking spirit.
“There's no theft about it.” Bartley went on. “Kinney would never write it out, and if he did, I've put the material in better shape for him here than he could ever have given it. Six weeks from now nobody will remember a word of it; and he could tell the same things right over again, and they would be just as good as new.” He went on to argue the point.
“It's not stealing at all,” Bartley continued. “Kinney would never take the time to write it out, and if he did, I've organized the material here in a way that's way better than he ever could. Six weeks from now, no one will remember a single word of it; he could repeat the same things, and they'd be just as fresh as ever.” He continued to make his case.
She seemed not to have listened to him. When he stopped, she said, in a quiet, passionless voice, “I suppose you wrote it to get money for this sacque.”
She didn’t seem to have listened to him. When he stopped, she said, in a quiet, emotionless voice, “I guess you wrote it to make money for this dress.”
“Yes; I did,” replied Bartley.
"Yes, I did," Bartley replied.
She dropped it on the floor at his feet. “I shall never wear it again,” she said in the same tone, and a little sigh escaped her.
She dropped it on the floor at his feet. “I will never wear it again,” she said in the same tone, and let out a small sigh.
“Use your pleasure about that,” said Bartley, sitting down to his writing again, as she turned and left the room.
“Enjoy that,” said Bartley, sitting down to write again, as she turned and walked out of the room.
She went upstairs and came down immediately, with the gold nugget, which she had wrenched from the baby's necklace, and laid it on the paper before him. “Perhaps you would like to spend it for tivoli beer,” she suggested. “Flavia shall not wear it.”
She went upstairs and came down right away, with the gold nugget that she had taken from the baby's necklace, and placed it on the paper in front of him. “Maybe you want to spend it on tivoli beer,” she suggested. “Flavia won't wear it.”
“I'll get it fitted on to my watch-chain.” Bartley slipped it into his waistcoat pocket.
“I'll have it attached to my watch chain.” Bartley put it into his pocket.
The sacque still lay on the floor at his feet; he pulled his chair a little forward and put his feet on it. He feigned to write awhile longer, and then he folded up his papers, and went out, leaving Marcia to make her Sunday dinner alone. When he came home late at night, he found the sacque where she had dropped it, and with a curse he picked it up and hung it on the hat-rack in the hall.
The sacque was still on the floor at his feet; he moved his chair a bit forward and rested his feet on it. He pretended to write for a little longer, then he folded his papers and left, leaving Marcia to prepare her Sunday dinner by herself. When he returned home late at night, he found the sacque where she had dropped it, and with a curse, he picked it up and hung it on the hat rack in the hallway.
He slept in the guest-chamber, and at times during the night the child cried in Marcia's room and waked him; and then he thought he heard a sound of sobbing which was not the child's. In the morning, when he came down to breakfast, Marcia met him with swollen eyes.
He slept in the guest room, and sometimes during the night the child cried in Marcia's room and woke him up; then he thought he heard sobbing that wasn't from the child. In the morning, when he came down for breakfast, Marcia met him with puffy eyes.
“Bartley,” she said tremulously, “I wish you would tell me how you felt justified in writing out Mr. Kinney's life in that way.”
“Bartley,” she said nervously, “I wish you would explain how you felt justified in writing Mr. Kinney's life like that.”
“My dear,” said Bartley, with perfect amiability, for he had slept off his anger, and he really felt sorry to see her so unhappy, “I would tell you almost anything you want on any other subject; but I think we had better remand that one to the safety of silence, and go upon the general supposition that I know what I'm about.”
“My dear,” said Bartley, with total friendliness, since he had slept off his anger and genuinely felt bad to see her so unhappy, “I would tell you almost anything you want on any other topic; but I think it’s best to keep that one quiet and just assume that I know what I’m doing.”
“I can't, Bartley!”
"I can't, Bartley!"
“Can't you? Well, that's a pity.” He pulled his chair to the breakfast-table. “It seems to me that girl's imagination always fails her on Mondays. Can she never give us anything but hash and corn-bread when she's going to wash? However, the coffee's good. I suppose you made it?”
“Can't you? That’s too bad.” He pulled his chair to the breakfast table. “It seems to me that girl’s imagination always lets her down on Mondays. Can she ever give us anything but hash and cornbread when she’s going to do the laundry? Still, the coffee’s good. I guess you made it?”
“Bartley!” persisted Marcia, “I want to believe in everything you do,—I want to be proud of it—”
“Bartley!” Marcia continued, “I want to believe in everything you do—I want to take pride in it—”
“That will be difficult,” suggested Bartley, with an air of thoughtful impartiality, “for the wife of a newspaper man.”
“That will be tough,” suggested Bartley, with a thoughtful, impartial tone, “for the wife of a newspaper guy.”
“No, no! It needn't be! It mustn't be! If you will only tell me—” She stopped, as if she feared to repeat her offence.
“No, no! It doesn't have to be! It can't be! If you would just tell me—” She paused, as if afraid to say it again.
Bartley leaned back in his chair and looked at her intense face with a smile. “Tell you that in some way I had Kinney's authority to use his facts? Well, I should have done that yesterday if you had let me. In the first place, Kinney's the most helpless ass in the world. He could never have used his own facts. In the second place, there was hardly anything in his rigmarole the other day that he hadn't told me down there in the lumber camp, with full authority to use it in any way I liked; and I don't see how he could revoke that authority. That's the way I reasoned about it.”
Bartley leaned back in his chair and smiled at her intense face. “You want me to say that I had Kinney's permission to use his information? Well, I would have done that yesterday if you had let me. First off, Kinney is the most clueless person ever. He could never have used his own information. Secondly, there was barely anything in his rambling the other day that he hadn’t already told me down at the lumber camp, with full permission to use it however I wanted; and I don’t see how he could take that back. That’s how I reasoned it.”
“I see,—I see!” said Marcia, with humble eagerness.
“I understand—I understand!” said Marcia, with eager humility.
“Well, that's all there is about it. What I've done can't hurt Kinney. If he ever does want to write his old facts out, he'll be glad to take my report of them, and—spoil it,” said Bartley, ending with a laugh.
“Well, that's all there is to it. What I've done can't hurt Kinney. If he ever decides to write down his old facts, he'll be happy to take my report and—mess it up,” said Bartley, finishing with a laugh.
“And if—if there had been anything wrong about it,” said Marcia, anxious to justify him to herself, “Mr. Ricker would have told you so when you offered him the article.”
“And if—if there had been anything wrong with it,” Marcia said, eager to justify him to herself, “Mr. Ricker would have said something when you offered him the article.”
“I don't think Mr. Ricker would have ventured on any impertinence with me,” said Bartley, with grandeur. But he lapsed into his wonted, easy way of taking everything. “What are you driving at, Marsh? I don't care particularly for what happened yesterday. We've had rows enough before, and I dare say we shall have them again. You gave me a bad quarter of an hour, and you gave yourself”—he looked at her tear-stained eyes—“a bad night, apparently. That's all there is about it.”
“I don’t think Mr. Ricker would have acted disrespectfully towards me,” Bartley said grandly. But he slipped back into his usual, relaxed way of handling everything. “What are you getting at, Marsh? I’m not really bothered about what happened yesterday. We’ve had enough arguments in the past, and I’m sure we’ll have more in the future. You made me feel bad for a little while, and you gave yourself”—he glanced at her tear-streaked face—“a rough night, it seems. That’s all there is to it.”
“Oh, no, that isn't all! It isn't like the other quarrels we've had. When I think how I've felt toward you ever since, it scares me. There can't be anything sacred in our marriage unless we trust each other in everything.”
“Oh, no, that’s not all! This isn’t like the other fights we’ve had. When I think about how I’ve felt toward you ever since, it terrifies me. There can’t be anything sacred in our marriage unless we trust each other completely.”
“Well, I haven't done any of the mistrusting,” said Bartley, with humorous lightness. “But isn't sacred rather a strong word to use in regard to our marriage, anyway?”
“Well, I haven't done any of the mistrusting,” Bartley said with a lighthearted tone. “But isn’t ‘sacred’ a bit too strong of a word to use when talking about our marriage, anyway?”
“Why—why—what do you mean, Bartley? We were married by a minister.”
“Why—why—what do you mean, Bartley? We got married by a pastor.”
“Well, yes, by what was left of one,” said Bartley. “He couldn't seem to shake himself together sufficiently to ask for the proof that we had declared our intention to get married.”
“Well, yeah, by what was left of one,” said Bartley. “He just couldn't seem to pull himself together enough to ask for the proof that we had said we wanted to get married.”
Marcia looked mystified. “Don't you remember his saying there was something else, and my suggesting to him that it was the fee?”
Marcia looked puzzled. "Don’t you remember him saying there was something else, and me suggesting to him that it was the fee?"
Marcia turned white. “Father said the certificate was all right—”
Marcia turned pale. “Dad said the certificate was fine—”
“Oh, he asked to see it, did he? He is a prudent old gentleman. Well, it is all right.”
“Oh, he wanted to see it, did he? He's a careful old guy. Well, that’s fine.”
“And what difference did it make about our not proving that we had declared our intention?” asked Marcia, as if only partly reassured.
“And what difference does it make that we didn’t prove we declared our intention?” asked Marcia, sounding only partially reassured.
“No difference to us; and only a difference of sixty dollars fine to him, if it was ever found out.”
“No impact on us; and just a sixty-dollar fine for him if he ever got caught.”
“And you let the poor old man run that risk?”
“And you let the poor old man take that risk?”
“Well, you see, it couldn't be helped. We hadn't declared our intention, and the lady seemed very anxious to be married. You needn't be troubled. We are married, right and tight enough; but I don't know that there's anything sacred about it.”
“Well, you see, it couldn’t be helped. We hadn’t made our intentions clear, and the lady seemed really eager to get married. You don’t need to worry. We are married, solid and good; but I’m not sure there’s anything sacred about it.”
“No,” Marcia wailed out, “its tainted with fraud from the beginning.”
“No,” Marcia cried, “it’s been tainted with fraud from the start.”
“If you like to say so,” Bartley assented, putting his napkin into its ring.
“If you want to say that,” Bartley agreed, placing his napkin in its ring.
Marcia hid her face in her arms on the table; the baby left off drumming with its spoon, and began to cry.
Marcia buried her face in her arms on the table; the baby stopped drumming with its spoon and started to cry.
Witherby was reading the Sunday edition of the Chronicle-Abstract, when Bartley got down to the Events office; and he cleared his throat with a premonitory cough as his assistant swung easily into the room. “Good morning, Mr. Hubbard,” he said. “There is quite an interesting article in yesterday's Chronicle-Abstract. Have you seen it?”
Witherby was reading the Sunday edition of the Chronicle-Abstract when Bartley arrived at the Events office. He cleared his throat with a slight cough as his assistant casually walked into the room. “Good morning, Mr. Hubbard,” he said. “There’s a pretty interesting article in yesterday's Chronicle-Abstract. Have you seen it?”
“Yes,” said Bartley. “What article?”
“Yeah,” said Bartley. “What article?”
“This Confessions of an Average American.” Witherby held out the paper, where Bartley's article, vividly head-lined and sub-headed, filled half a page. “What is the reason we cannot have something of this kind?”
“This Confessions of an Average American.” Witherby held out the paper, where Bartley's article, boldly titled and subtitled, took up half a page. “What’s stopping us from having something like this?”
“Well, I don't know,” Bartley began.
“Well, I’m not sure,” Bartley started.
“Have you any idea who wrote this?”
“Do you have any idea who wrote this?”
“Oh, yes, I wrote it.”
“Yeah, I wrote it.”
Witherby had the task before him of transmuting an expression of rather low cunning into one of wounded confidence, mingled with high-minded surprise. “I thought it had your ear-marks, Mr. Hubbard: but I preferred not to believe it till I heard the fact from your own lips. I supposed that our contract covered such contributions as this.”
Witherby had the job of turning a sly look into one of hurt confidence, mixed with genuine surprise. “I thought it had your signature, Mr. Hubbard; but I chose not to accept it until I heard the truth from you. I believed our contract included contributions like this.”
“I wrote it out of time, and on Sunday night. You pay me by the week, and all that I do throughout the week belongs to you. The next day after that Sunday I did a full day's work on the Events. I don't see what you have to complain of. You told me when I began that you would not expect more than a certain amount of work from me. Have I ever done less?”
“I wrote it while I was pressed for time, and on Sunday night. You pay me weekly, and everything I do during the week is yours. The day after that Sunday, I worked a full day on the Events. I don't understand what you’re complaining about. When I started, you said you wouldn't expect more than a certain amount of work from me. Have I ever done less?”
“No, but—”
“No, but—”
“Haven't I always done more?”
"Haven't I always done extra?"
“Yes, I have never complained of the amount of work. But upon this theory of yours, what you did in your summer vacation would not belong to the Events, or what you did on legal holidays.”
“Yes, I have never complained about the amount of work. But according to your theory, what you did during your summer vacation wouldn't count as Events, nor would what you did on legal holidays.”
“I never have any summer vacation or holidays, legal or illegal. Even when I was down at Equity last summer I sent you something for the paper every day.”
“I never get any summer vacation or holidays, whether they're official or not. Even when I was down at Equity last summer, I sent you something for the paper every day.”
This was true, and Witherby could not gainsay it. “Very well, sir. If this is to be your interpretation of our understanding for the future, I shall wish to revise our contract,” he said pompously.
This was true, and Witherby couldn't argue with it. “Alright, sir. If this is how you interpret our agreement moving forward, I’d like to revise our contract,” he said self-importantly.
“You can tear it up if you like,” returned Bartley. “I dare say Ricker would jump at a little study of the true inwardness of counting-room journalism. Unless you insist upon having it for the Events.” Bartley gave a chuckle of enjoyment as he sat down at his desk; Witherby rose and stalked away.
“You can rip it up if you want,” Bartley replied. “I bet Ricker would love to dive into the real essence of counting-room journalism. Unless you really need it for the Events.” Bartley chuckled with delight as he sat down at his desk; Witherby got up and walked away.
He returned in half an hour and said, with an air of frank concession, touched with personal grief: “Mr. Hubbard, I can see how, from your point of view, you were perfectly justifiable in selling your article to the Chronicle-Abstract. My point of view is different, but I shall not insist upon it; and I wish to withdraw—and—and apologize for—any hasty expressions I may have used.”
He came back in thirty minutes and said, with a tone of honest acknowledgement, tinged with personal sorrow: “Mr. Hubbard, I understand how, from your perspective, you had every right to sell your article to the Chronicle-Abstract. I see things differently, but I won’t press my point; I would like to step back—and—and apologize for—any rash comments I might have made.”
“All right,” said Bartley, with a wicked grin. He had triumphed; but his triumph was one to leave some men with an uneasy feeling, and there was not altogether a pleasant taste in Bartley's mouth. After that his position in the Events office was whatever he chose to make it, but he did not abuse his ascendency, and he even made a point of increased deference towards Witherby. Many courtesies passed between them; each took some trouble to show the other that he had no ill feeling.
“Okay,” Bartley said, smirking. He had won; but his victory left some people feeling uncomfortable, and Bartley couldn’t shake off an unpleasant taste in his mouth. From that point on, his role in the Events office was whatever he decided it would be, but he didn’t take advantage of his power. In fact, he made a point of being more respectful towards Witherby. They exchanged numerous courtesies, each going out of their way to demonstrate that there were no hard feelings between them.
Three or four weeks later Bartley received a letter with an Illinois postmark which gave him a disagreeable sensation, at first, for he knew it must be from Kinney. But the letter was so amusingly characteristic, so helplessly ill-spelled and ill-constructed, that he could not help laughing. Kinney gave an account of his travels to the mining town, and of his present situation and future prospects; he was full of affectionate messages and inquiries for Bartley's family, and he said he should never forget that Sunday he had passed with them. In a postscript he added: “They copied that String of lies into our paper, here, out of the Chron.-Ab. It was pretty well done, but if your friend Mr. Ricker done it, I'me not goen to Insult him soon again by calling him a gentleman.”
Three or four weeks later, Bartley got a letter postmarked from Illinois that made him feel uneasy at first because he knew it had to be from Kinney. But the letter was so amusingly typical, so charmingly misspelled and poorly written, that he couldn't help but laugh. Kinney shared stories of his journey to the mining town, as well as his current situation and future plans; he sent lots of affectionate messages and questions for Bartley's family, saying he'd never forget that Sunday he spent with them. In a postscript, he added: “They copied that string of lies into our paper here, from the Chron.-Ab. It was done pretty well, but if your friend Mr. Ricker did it, I’m not going to insult him again anytime soon by calling him a gentleman.”
This laconic reference to the matter in a postscript was delicious to Bartley; he seemed to hear Kinney saying the words, and imagined his air of ineffective sarcasm. He carried the letter about with him, and the first time he saw Ricker he showed it to him. Ricker read it without appearing greatly diverted; when he came to the postscript he flushed, and demanded, “What have you done about it?”
This brief mention in the postscript thrilled Bartley; he could practically hear Kinney saying the words and pictured his tone of weak sarcasm. He carried the letter with him and the first time he saw Ricker, he showed it to him. Ricker read it without showing much interest; when he got to the postscript, he blushed and asked, “What have you done about it?”
“Oh, I haven't done anything. It wasn't necessary. You see, now, what Kinney could have done with his facts if we had left them to him. It would have been a wicked waste of material I thought the sight of some of his literature would help you wash up your uncleanly scruples on that point.”
“Oh, I haven't done anything. It wasn't needed. You see, now, what Kinney could have done with his facts if we had let him have them. It would have been a terrible waste of resources. I thought seeing some of his writing would help you clear up your messy doubts about that.”
“How long have you had this letter?” pursued Ricker.
“How long have you had this letter?” Ricker asked.
“I don't know. A week or ten days.”
“I don't know. A week or ten days.”
Ricker folded it up and returned it to him. “Mr. Hubbard,” he said, “the next time we meet, will you do me the favor to cut my acquaintance?”
Ricker folded it up and handed it back to him. “Mr. Hubbard,” he said, “the next time we meet, could you do me a favor and avoid talking to me?”
Bartley stared at him; he thought he must be joking. “Why, Ricker, what's the matter? I didn't suppose you'd care anything about old Kinney. I thought it would amuse you. Why, confound it! I'd just as soon write out and tell him that I did the thing.” He began to be angry. “But I can cut your acquaintance fast enough, or any man's, if you're really on your ear!”
Bartley stared at him, thinking he had to be joking. “What's wrong, Ricker? I didn’t think you cared at all about old Kinney. I thought it would just make you laugh. Seriously! I’d just as soon write a note and tell him that I did it myself.” He started getting angry. “But I can easily cut ties with you, or anyone else, if you’re really losing your mind!”
“I'm on my ear,” said Ricker. He left Bartley standing where they had met.
“I'm all ears,” said Ricker. He left Bartley standing where they had met.
It was peculiarly unfortunate, for Bartley had occasion within that week to ask Ricker's advice, and he was debarred from doing so by this absurd displeasure. Since their recent perfect understanding, Witherby had slighted no opportunity to cement their friendship, and to attach Bartley more and more firmly to the Events. He now offered him some of the Events stock on extremely advantageous terms, with the avowed purpose of attaching him to the paper. There seemed nothing covert in this, and Bartley had never heard any doubts of the prosperity of the Events, but he would have especially liked to have Ricker's mind upon this offer of stock. Witherby had urged him not to pay for the whole outright, but to accept a somewhat lower salary, and trust to his dividends to make up the difference. The shares had paid fifteen per cent the year before, and Bartley could judge for himself of the present chances from that showing. Witherby advised him to borrow only fifteen hundred dollars on the three thousand of stock which he offered him, and to pay up the balance in three years by dropping five hundred a year from his salary. It was certainly a flattering proposal; and under his breath, where Bartley still did most of his blaspheming, he cursed Ricker for an old fool; and resolved to close with Witherby on his own responsibility. After he had done so he told Marcia of the step he had taken.
It was oddly unfortunate, because Bartley needed to ask Ricker for advice that week but was prevented from doing so by this ridiculous anger. Since their recent understanding, Witherby had taken every chance to strengthen their friendship and tie Bartley more closely to the Events. He now offered him some of the Events stock at very favorable terms, clearly intending to pull him into the paper. There didn’t seem to be anything hidden in this, and Bartley had never heard any doubts about the Events' success, but he really wanted Ricker's thoughts on this stock offer. Witherby had suggested he not pay for the entire amount upfront, but instead take a slightly lower salary and rely on dividends to make up the difference. The shares had paid fifteen percent the previous year, and Bartley could assess the current chances from that result. Witherby advised him to borrow only fifteen hundred dollars against the three thousand worth of stock he was offering and to pay off the balance over three years by reducing his salary by five hundred a year. It was definitely a tempting proposal; and under his breath, in the place where Bartley still did most of his swearing, he cursed Ricker for being such an old fool; and decided he would accept Witherby’s offer on his own terms. After he made that decision, he told Marcia about the step he had taken.
Since their last quarrel there had been an alienation in her behavior toward him, different from any former resentment. She was submissive and quiescent; she looked carefully after his comfort, and was perfect in her housekeeping; but she held aloof from him somehow, and left him to a solitude in her presence in which he fancied, if he did not divine, her contempt. But in this matter of common interest, something of their community of feeling revived; they met on a lower level, but they met, for the moment, and Marcia joined eagerly in the discussion of ways and means.
Since their last fight, her behavior towards him had changed in a way that was unlike any past resentment. She was compliant and quiet; she took great care of his comfort and excelled at keeping the house. However, she somehow kept her distance from him, leaving him in a solitude where he sensed, if not outright knew, her disdain. Yet, in this matter of shared interest, a hint of their emotional connection came back to life; they connected on a different level, but they did connect, for the moment, and Marcia eagerly joined in discussing options and solutions.
The notion of dropping five hundred from his salary delighted her, because they must now cut down their expenses as much; and she had long grieved over their expenses without being able to make Bartley agree to their reduction. She went upstairs at once and gave the little nurse-maid a week's warning; she told the maid of all work that she must take three dollars a week hereafter instead of four, or else find another place; she mentally forewent new spring dresses for herself and the baby, and arranged to do herself all of the wash she had been putting out; she put a note in the mouth of the can at the back door, telling the milkman to leave only two quarts in future; and she came radiantly back to tell Bartley that she had saved half of the lost five hundred a year already. But her countenance fell. “Why, where are you to get the other fifteen hundred dollars, Bartley?”
The idea of cutting five hundred from his salary thrilled her because they had to slash their expenses significantly, and she had been worrying about their spending for a long time without getting Bartley to agree to cut back. She immediately went upstairs and gave the little maid a week's notice; she informed the housekeeper that she would now be paid three dollars a week instead of four, or else she would need to find a new job. She mentally let go of buying new spring dresses for herself and the baby, and planned to handle all the laundry herself instead of outsourcing it. She left a note in the milk can at the back door, telling the milkman to only deliver two quarts from now on; and she came back beaming to tell Bartley that she had already saved half of the lost five hundred a year. But then her happiness faded. “Well, where are you going to find the other fifteen hundred dollars, Bartley?”
“Oh, I Ve thought of that,” said Bartley, laughing at her swift alternations of triumph and despair. “You trust to me for that.”
“Oh, I've thought of that,” said Bartley, laughing at her quick changes between triumph and despair. “You can count on me for that.”
“You're not—not going to ask father for it?” she faltered.
“Are you really not going to ask Dad for it?” she hesitated.
“Not very much,” said Bartley, as he took his hat to go out.
“Not much,” Bartley said as he grabbed his hat to head out.
He meant to make a raise out of Ben Halleck, as he phrased it to himself. He knew that Halleck had plenty of money; he could make the stock itself over to him as security; he did not see why Halleck should hesitate. But when he entered Halleck's room, having asked Cyrus to show him directly there, Halleck gave a start which seemed ominous to Bartley. He had scarcely the heart to open his business, and Halleck listened with changing color, and something only too like the embarrassment of a man who intends a refusal. He would not look Bartley in the face, and when Bartley had made an end he sat for a time without speaking. At last he said with a quick sigh, as if at the close of an internal conflict, “I will lend you the money!”
He intended to get a loan from Ben Halleck, as he thought to himself. He knew Halleck had plenty of money; he could even put the stock up as collateral; he didn’t understand why Halleck would hesitate. But when he walked into Halleck's room, after asking Cyrus to take him there, Halleck flinched, which felt ominous to Bartley. He hardly had the courage to bring up his business proposal, and Halleck listened, his color shifting, showing signs of discomfort, much like someone preparing to say no. He wouldn’t look Bartley in the eye, and after Bartley finished speaking, Halleck sat in silence for a while. Finally, he let out a quick sigh, as if he had just resolved an internal struggle, and said, “I will lend you the money!”
Bartley's heart gave a bound, and he broke out into an immense laugh of relief, and clapped Halleck on the shoulder. “You looked deucedly as it' you wouldn't, old man! By George, you had on such a dismal, hang-dog expression that I didn't know but you'd come to borrow money of me, and I'd made up my mind not to let you have it! But I'm everlastingly obliged to you, Halleck, and I promise you that you won't regret it.”
Bartley's heart leaped, and he burst into a huge laugh of relief, slapping Halleck on the shoulder. “You looked absolutely like you wouldn't, my friend! Honestly, you had such a gloomy, downcast look that I thought you might be coming to ask me for money, and I had already decided not to give you any! But I'm forever grateful to you, Halleck, and I promise you won't regret it.”
“I shall have to speak to my father about this,” said Halleck, responding coldly to Bartley's robust pressure of his hand.
“I need to talk to my dad about this,” said Halleck, responding coldly to Bartley's firm grip on his hand.
“Of course,—of course.”
"Of course, of course."
“How soon shall you want the money?”
“How soon do you need the money?”
“Well, the sooner the better, now. Bring the check round—can't you?—to-morrow night,—and take dinner with us, you and Olive; and we'll celebrate a little. I know it will please Marcia when she finds out who my hard-hearted creditor is!”
“Sure, the sooner the better. Can you bring the check tomorrow night? Come have dinner with us, you and Olive, and we’ll celebrate a bit. I know Marcia will be pleased when she finds out who my tough creditor is!”
“Well,” assented Halleck with a smile so ghastly that Bartley noticed it even in his joy.
“Well,” agreed Halleck with a smile so creepy that Bartley noticed it even in his happiness.
“Curse me,” he said to himself, “if ever I saw a man so ashamed of doing a good action!”
“Curse me,” he said to himself, “if I ever saw a man so embarrassed about doing a good deed!”
XXX.
The Presidential canvas of the summer—which, followed upon these events in Bartley's career was not very active. Sometimes, in fact, it languished so much that people almost forgot it, and a good field was afforded the Events for the practice of independent journalism. To hold a course of strict impartiality, and yet come out on the winning side was a theory of independent journalism which Bartley illustrated with cynical enjoyment. He developed into something rather artistic the gift which he had always shown in his newspaper work for ironical persiflage. Witherby was not a man to feel this burlesque himself; but when it was pointed out to him by others, he came to Bartley in some alarm from its effect upon the fortunes of the paper. “We can't afford, Mr. Hubbard,” he said, with virtuous trepidation, “we can't afford to make fun of our friends!”
The presidential canvas of the summer—which came after the events in Bartley's career—wasn't very active. Sometimes it even lagged so much that people nearly forgot about it, giving Events a good opportunity to practice independent journalism. The idea of maintaining strict impartiality while still coming out on top was a theory of independent journalism that Bartley showcased with cynical enjoyment. He refined the talent he had always displayed in his newspaper work for ironic banter into something quite artistic. Witherby wasn’t the kind of guy to appreciate this parody himself, but when others pointed it out to him, he approached Bartley with some concern about its impact on the paper’s fortunes. “We can’t afford, Mr. Hubbard,” he said, with virtuous anxiety, “we can’t afford to make fun of our friends!”
Bartley laughed at Witherby's anxiety. “They're no more our friends than the other fellows are. We are independent journalists; and this way of treating the thing leaves us perfectly free hereafter to claim, just as we choose, that we were in fun or in earnest on any particular question if we're ever attacked. See?”
Bartley laughed at Witherby's worry. “They’re no more our friends than the others are. We are independent journalists; and this approach lets us stay completely free to claim, whenever we want, that we were either joking or serious about any specific issue if we're ever challenged. Get it?”
“I see,” said Witherby, with not wholly subdued misgiving. But after due time for conviction no man enjoyed Bartley's irony more than Witherby when once he had mastered an instance of it. Sometimes it happened that Bartley found him chuckling over a perfectly serious paragraph, but he did not mind that; he enjoyed Witherby's mistake even more than his appreciation.
“I see,” said Witherby, with a bit of hesitation. But after a while, no one appreciated Bartley's sarcasm more than Witherby once he understood it. Sometimes, Bartley would catch him laughing at a completely serious paragraph, but he didn’t mind that; he enjoyed Witherby’s misunderstanding even more than his recognition.
In these days Bartley was in almost uninterrupted good humor, as he had always expected to be when he became fairly prosperous. He was at no time an unamiable fellow, as he saw it; he had his sulks, he had his moments of anger; but generally he felt good, and he had always believed, and he had promised Marcia, that when he got squarely on his legs he should feel good perpetually. This sensation he now agreeably realized; and he was also now in that position in which he had proposed to himself some little moral reforms. He was not much in the habit of taking stock; but no man wholly escapes the contingencies in which he is confronted with himself, and sees certain habits, traits, tendencies, which he would like to change for the sake of his peace of mind hereafter. To some souls these contingencies are full of anguish, of remorse for the past, of despair; but Bartley had never yet seen the time when he did not feel himself perfectly able to turn over a new leaf and blot the old one. There were not many things in his life which he really cared to have very different; but there were two or three shady little corners which he always intended to clean up. He had meant some time or other to have a religious belief of some sort, he did not much care what; since Marcia had taken to the Hallecks' church, he did not see why he should not go with her, though he had never yet done so. He was not quite sure whether he was always as candid with her as he might be, or as kind; though he maintained against this question that in all their quarrels it was six of one and half a dozen of the other. He had never been tipsy but once in his life, and he considered that he had repented and atoned for that enough, especially as nothing had ever come of it; but sometimes he thought he might be over-doing the beer; yes, he thought he must cut down on the tivoli; he was getting ridiculously fat. If ever he met Kinney again he should tell him that it was he and not Ricker who had appropriated his facts and he intended to make it up with Ricker somehow.
During this time, Bartley was in almost constant good spirits, just as he had always expected to be once he became reasonably successful. He was never an unpleasant guy, in his view; he had his moody days and moments of anger, but overall he felt good, and he had always believed, and promised Marcia, that once he got fully stable, he would feel good all the time. He was now pleasantly experiencing that feeling; and he was also in a position where he had thought about making some small moral improvements. He didn't often take stock of himself, but no one entirely avoids the moments when they have to confront themselves and notice certain habits, traits, or tendencies they’d like to change for their future peace of mind. For some people, these moments can be filled with anguish, regret for the past, and despair; but Bartley had never found a time when he didn’t feel completely capable of turning over a new leaf and erasing the old one. There weren’t many things in his life that he really wanted to change, but there were two or three questionable areas that he had always meant to tidy up. He had intended at some point to adopt some sort of religious belief, though he didn't care much about which one; since Marcia had started attending the Hallecks' church, he didn’t see why he shouldn’t go with her, even though he hadn't done so yet. He wasn't quite sure if he was always as straightforward with her as he could be, or as kind; though he argued that in all their disagreements, it was pretty much even on both sides. He had only gotten drunk once in his life, and he felt he had repented and made up for that enough, especially since nothing serious had come from it; but sometimes he worried he might be overdoing it with the beer; yeah, he thought he should cut back on the tivoli; he was getting ridiculously overweight. If he ever ran into Kinney again, he planned to tell him that it was he, not Ricker, who had taken his facts, and he meant to reconcile with Ricker somehow.
He had not found just the opportunity yet; but in the mean time he did not mind telling the real cause of their alienation to good fellows who could enjoy a joke. He had his following, though so many of his brother journalists had cooled toward him, and those of his following considered him as smart as chain-lightning and bound to rise. These young men and not very wise elders roared over Bartley's frank declaration of the situation Between himself and Ricker, and they contended that, if Ricker had taken the article for the Chronicle-Abstract, he ought to take the consequences. Bartley told them that, of course, he should explain the facts to Kinney; but that he meant to let Ricker enjoy his virtuous indignation awhile. Once, after a confidence of this kind at the club, where Ricker had refused to speak to him, he came away with a curious sense of moral decay. It did not pain him a great deal, but it certainly surprised him that now, with all these prosperous conditions, so favorable for cleaning up, he had so little disposition to clean up. He found himself quite willing to let the affair with Ricker go, and he suspected that he had been needlessly virtuous in his intentions concerning church-going and beer. As to Marcia, it appeared to him that he could not treat a woman of her disposition otherwise than as he did. At any rate, if he had not done everything he could to make her happy, she seemed to be getting along well enough, and was probably quite as happy as she deserved to be. They were getting on very quietly now; there had been no violent outbreak between them since the trouble about Kinney, and then she had practically confessed herself in the wrong, as Bartley looked at it. She had appeared contented with his explanation; there was what might be called a perfect business amity between them. If her life with him was no longer an expression of that intense devotion which she used to show him, it was more like what married life generally comes to, and he accepted her tractability and what seemed her common-sense view of their relations as greatly preferable. With his growth in flesh, Bartley liked peace more and more.
He just hadn't found the right moment yet, but in the meantime, he didn't mind sharing the real reason for their distance with good friends who could appreciate a joke. He had his group of supporters, even though many of his fellow journalists had grown distant, and those who followed him thought he was as sharp as lightning and destined to succeed. These young guys and not-so-wise older men laughed at Bartley's honest take on the situation between him and Ricker, insisting that if Ricker had borrowed the article for the Chronicle-Abstract, he should accept the fallout. Bartley told them that, of course, he would explain the situation to Kinney, but he intended to let Ricker stew in his righteous anger for a while. One time, after an open chat like this at the club where Ricker had refused to talk to him, Bartley left with a strange feeling of moral decline. It didn’t hurt him much, but he was definitely surprised that, with all these good circumstances perfect for making things right, he felt so little urge to do so. He found himself quite okay with letting things with Ricker slide, and he guessed he had been unnecessarily noble in his plans about going to church and avoiding beer. As for Marcia, he felt he couldn't treat a woman like her any differently than he did. Anyway, if he hadn’t done everything possible to make her happy, she seemed to be doing just fine, probably as happy as she deserved to be. They were getting along quite peacefully now; there hadn’t been any major blowups since the issue with Kinney, and she had pretty much admitted she was wrong in Bartley's eyes. She seemed satisfied with his explanation; they had what could be called a solid business relationship. While her life with him wasn’t filled with the intense devotion she used to show, it mirrored what married life often becomes, and he found her compliance and what seemed to be her practical view on their relationship much better. As Bartley gained weight, he began to appreciate peace more and more.
Marcia had consented to go down to Equity alone, that summer, for he had convinced her that during a heated political contest it would not do for him to be away from the paper. He promised to go down for her when she wished to come home; and it was easily arranged for her to travel as far as the Junction under Halleck's escort, when he went to join his sisters in the White Mountains. Bartley missed her and the baby at first. But he soon began to adjust himself with resignation to his solitude. They had determined to keep their maid over this summer, for they had so much trouble in replacing her the last time after their return; and Bartley said he should live very economically. It was quiet, and the woman kept the house cool and clean; she was a good cook, and when Bartley brought a man home to dinner she took an interest in serving it well. Bartley let her order the things from the grocer and butcher, for she knew what they were used to getting, and he had heard so much talk from Marcia about bills since he bought that Events stock that he was sick of the prices of things. There was no extravagance, and vet he seemed to live very much better after Marcia went. There is no doubt but he lived very much more at his ease. One little restriction after another fell away from him; he went and came with absolute freedom, not only without having to account for his movements, but without having a pang for not doing so. He had the sensation of stretching himself after a cramping posture; and he wrote Marcia the cheerfulest letters, charging her not to cut short her visit from anxiety on his account. He said that he was working hard, but hard work evidently agreed with him, for he was never better in his life. In this high content he maintained a feeling of loyalty by going to the Hallecks, where Mrs. Halleck often had him to tea in pity of his loneliness. They were dull company, certainly; but Marcia liked them, and the cooking was always good. Other evenings he went to the theatres, where there were amusing variety bills; and sometimes he passed the night at Nantasket, or took a run for a day to Newport; he always reported these excursions to Marcia, with expressions of regret that Equity was too far away to run down to for a day.
Marcia had agreed to go down to Equity alone that summer because he convinced her that during a heated political contest, it wouldn't be good for him to be away from the paper. He promised to come down when she wanted to return home, and it was easy to arrange for her to travel as far as the Junction with Halleck's escort when he was heading to join his sisters in the White Mountains. Bartley missed her and the baby at first, but he soon began to adjust to his solitude. They decided to keep their maid for the summer since they had so much trouble replacing her after their last return, and Bartley said he would live very frugally. It was quiet, and the woman kept the house cool and clean; she was a good cook, and when Bartley brought a friend home for dinner, she took care to serve it well. Bartley let her handle the grocery and butcher orders since she knew what they usually got, and he had heard so much about bills from Marcia since he bought that Events stock that he was tired of the prices of things. There was no extravagance, yet he seemed to live much better after Marcia left. There’s no doubt he was more at ease. One little restriction after another lifted from him; he came and went with complete freedom, not only without needing to explain himself but without feeling guilty for not doing so. He felt like he was stretching after being cramped, and he wrote Marcia the cheeriest letters, telling her not to cut her visit short out of worry for him. He mentioned that he was working hard, but evidently, hard work suited him well because he had never felt better. In this state of contentment, he maintained a sense of loyalty by visiting the Hallecks, where Mrs. Halleck often invited him for tea out of sympathy for his loneliness. They were certainly dull company, but Marcia liked them, and the food was always good. On other evenings, he went to the theaters, where there were entertaining variety shows; sometimes he spent the night at Nantasket or took a day trip to Newport; he always reported these outings to Marcia, expressing regret that Equity was too far away for a quick visit.
Marcia's letters were longer and more regular than his; but he could have forgiven some want of constancy for the sake of a less searching anxiety on her part. She was anxious not only for his welfare, which was natural and proper, but she was anxious about the housekeeping and the expenses, things Bartley could not afford to let trouble him, though he did what he could in a general way to quiet her mind. She wrote fully of the visit which Olive Halleck had paid her, but said that they had not gone about much, for Ben Halleck had only been able to come for a day. She was very well, and so was Flavia.
Marcia's letters were longer and more frequent than his, but he could have overlooked some inconsistency for a little less of her intense worry. She was concerned not just for his well-being, which was totally understandable, but she was also worried about the household management and the finances—issues Bartley couldn't let stress him out, even though he did his best to reassure her. She wrote in detail about the visit Olive Halleck made to her, but mentioned that they hadn’t done much since Ben Halleck could only stay for a day. Both she and Flavia were doing well.
Bartley realized Flavia's existence with an effort, and for the rest this letter bored him. What could he care about Olive Halleck's coming, or Ben Halleck's staying away? All that he asked of Ben Halleck was a little extension of time when his interest fell due. The whole thing was disagreeable; and he resented what he considered Marcia's endeavor to clap the domestic harness on him again. His thoughts wandered to conditions, to contingencies, of which a man does not permit himself even to think without a degree of moral disintegration. In these ill-advised reveries he mused upon his life as it might have been if he had never met her, or if they had never met after her dismissal of him. As he recalled the facts, he was at that time in an angry and embittered mood, but he was in a mood of entire acquiescence; and the reconciliation had been of her own seeking. He could not blame her for it; she was very much in love with him, and he had been fond of her. In fact, he was still very fond of her; when he thought of little ways of hers, it filled him with tenderness. He did justice to her fine qualities, too: her generosity, her truthfulness, her entire loyalty to his best interests; he smiled to realize that he himself preferred his second-best interests, and in her absence he remembered that her virtues were tedious, and even painful at times. He had his doubts whether there was sufficient compensation in them. He sometimes questioned whether he had not made a great mistake to get married; he expected now to stick it through; but this doubt occurred to him. A moment came in which he asked himself, What if he had never come back to Marcia that night when she locked him out of her room? Might it not have been better for both of them? She would soon have reconciled herself to the irreparable; he even thought of her happy in a second marriage; and the thought did not enrage him; he generously wished Marcia well. He wished—he hardly knew what he wished. He wished nothing at all but to have his wife and child back again as soon as possible; and he put aside with a laugh the fancies which really found no such distinct formulation as I have given them; which were mere vague impulses, arrested mental tendencies, scraps of undirected revery. Their recurrence had nothing to do with what he felt to be his sane and waking state. But they recurred, and he even amused himself in turning them over.
Bartley struggled to acknowledge Flavia's presence, and the rest of the letter just bored him. Why should he care about Olive Halleck's arrival or Ben Halleck's absence? All he wanted from Ben Halleck was a little more time when his interest was due. The whole situation was unpleasant, and he resented what he saw as Marcia's attempt to put him back into a domestic routine. His mind drifted to possibilities and scenarios that a man typically avoids thinking about without feeling some moral decay. In these misguided daydreams, he thought about what his life could have been like if he had never met her or if they had never reconnected after she sent him away. Reflecting on the past, he remembered that he had been angry and bitter then, but he was also completely compliant; the reconciliation had been her idea. He couldn’t really blame her; she was deeply in love with him, and he had cared for her. In fact, he still cared for her a lot; just the thought of her little quirks brought him warmth. He also acknowledged her admirable traits: her generosity, honesty, and unwavering loyalty to his best interests; and he smiled when he realized he actually preferred his second-best interests, remembering that her virtues could sometimes feel tedious or even painful. He doubted whether they truly compensated for that. Occasionally, he wondered if marrying her had been a mistake; he thought he should stick it out now, but that doubt lingered. There was a moment when he asked himself what would have happened if he hadn’t gone back to Marcia that night she locked him out of her room. Would it have been better for both of them? She would have eventually come to terms with the loss; he even imagined her happy in a second marriage, and the thought didn’t anger him—he genuinely wished her well. He wanted—he wasn’t even sure what he wanted. He wanted nothing more than to have his wife and child back as soon as possible; he dismissed the thoughts that didn’t quite fit into clear ideas, which were just vague urges, unformed thoughts, bits of aimless daydreaming. They popped up despite having no relation to what he considered his rational and awake state. But they kept coming back, and he even found some amusement in sorting through them.
XXXI.
One morning in September, not long before Marcia returned, Bartley found Witherby at the office waiting for him. Witherby wore a pensive face, which had the effect of being studied. “Good morning, Mr. Hubbard,” he said, and when Bartley answered, “Good morning,” cheerfully ignoring his mood, he added, “What is this I hear, Mr. Hubbard, about a personal misunderstanding between you and Mr. Ricker?”
One morning in September, shortly before Marcia came back, Bartley found Witherby at the office waiting for him. Witherby had a thoughtful expression that seemed deliberate. “Good morning, Mr. Hubbard,” he said, and when Bartley replied, “Good morning,” cheerfully overlooking his mood, Witherby continued, “What’s this I hear about a personal misunderstanding between you and Mr. Ricker?”
“I'm sure I don't know,” said Bartley; “but I suppose that if you have heard anything you know.”
“Honestly, I have no idea,” said Bartley; “but I guess if you’ve heard anything you would know.”
“I have heard,” proceeded Witherby, a little dashed by Bartley's coolness, “that Mr. Ricker accuses you of having used material in that article you sold him which had been intrusted to you under the seal of confidence, and that you had left it to be inferred by the party concerned—that Mr. Ricker had written the article himself.”
“I’ve heard,” Witherby continued, slightly thrown off by Bartley's calmness, “that Mr. Ricker claims you used material in that article you sold him that was given to you in confidence, and that you let it be assumed by the relevant party that Mr. Ricker wrote the article himself.”
“All right,” said Bartley.
“Okay,” said Bartley.
“But, Mr. Hubbard,” said Witherby, struggling to rise into virtuous supremacy, “what am I to think of such a report?”
“But, Mr. Hubbard,” Witherby said, trying to take a moral high ground, “what should I make of such a report?”
“I can't say; unless you should think that it wasn't your affair. That would be the easiest thing.”
“I can’t say; unless you think it wasn’t your business. That would be the easiest thing.”
“But I can't think that, Mr. Hubbard! Such a report reflects through you upon the Events; it reflects upon me!” Bartley laughed. “I can't approve of such a thing. If you admit the report, it appears to me that you have—a—done a—a—wrong action, Mr. Hubbard.”
“But I can't believe that, Mr. Hubbard! This report impacts you and also affects me!” Bartley laughed. “I can’t agree with that. If you accept the report, it seems to me that you’ve—um—made a—uh—mistake, Mr. Hubbard.”
Bartley turned upon him with a curious look; at the same time he felt a pang, and there was a touch of real anguish in the sarcasm of his demand, “Have I fallen so low as to be rebuked by you?”
Bartley looked at him with a curious expression; at the same time, he felt a pang, and there was a hint of real pain in the sarcasm of his question, “Have I really fallen so low that you’re the one rebuking me?”
“I—I don't know what you mean by such an expression as that, Mr. Hubbard,” said Witherby. “I don't know what I've done to forfeit your esteem,—to justify you in using such language to me.”
“I—I don't understand what you mean by that, Mr. Hubbard,” said Witherby. “I don't know what I've done to lose your respect—to make you think it's okay to talk to me like that.”
“I don't suppose you really do,” said Bartley. “Go on.”
“I don’t think you actually do,” said Bartley. “Go ahead.”
“I have nothing more to say, Mr. Hubbard, except—except to add that this has given me a great blow,—a great blow. I had begun to have my doubts before as to whether we were quite adapted to each other, and this has—increased them. I pass no judgment upon what you have done, but I will say that it has made me anxious and—a—unrestful. It has made me ask myself whether upon the whole we should not be happier apart. I don't say that we should; but I only feel that nine out of ten business men would consider you, in the position you occupy on the Events,—a—a—dangerous person.”
“I have nothing more to say, Mr. Hubbard, except—except to add that this has hit me really hard—a really hard blow. I had started to doubt before whether we were really right for each other, and this has only made those doubts stronger. I’m not judging what you’ve done, but I’ll say it’s made me anxious and—unsettled. It’s made me wonder if maybe we’d be happier apart. I’m not saying we would be; but I feel that nine out of ten business people would think you, in your position on the Events,—a—dangerous person.”
Bartley got up from his desk, and walked toward Witherby, with his hands in his pockets; he halted a few paces from him, and looked down on him with a sinister smile. “I don't think they'd consider you a dangerous person in any position.”
Bartley stood up from his desk and walked over to Witherby, hands in his pockets. He stopped a few steps away and looked down at him with a sly smile. “I don't think anyone would see you as a threat in any role.”
“May be not, may be not,” said Witherby, striving to be easy and dignified. In the effort he took up an open paper from the desk before him, and, lifting it between Bartley and himself, feigned to be reading it.
“Maybe not, maybe not,” said Witherby, trying to be relaxed and dignified. In his effort, he picked up an open piece of paper from the desk in front of him and, holding it between Bartley and himself, pretended to read it.
Bartley struck it out of his trembling hands. “You impudent old scoundrel! Do you pretend to be reading when I speak to you? For half a cent—”
Bartley knocked it out of his trembling hands. “You cheeky old jerk! Do you act like you’re reading when I’m talking to you? For half a cent—”
Witherby, slipping and sliding in his swivel chair, contrived to get to his feet “No violence, Mr. Hubbard, no violence here!”
Witherby, slipping and sliding in his swivel chair, managed to get to his feet. “No violence, Mr. Hubbard, no violence here!”
“Violence!” laughed Bartley. “I should have to touch you! Come! Don't be afraid! But don't you put on airs of any sort! I understand your game. You want, for some reason, to get rid of me, and you have seized the opportunity with a sharpness that does credit to your cunning. I don't condescend to deny this report,”—speaking in this lofty strain, Bartley had a momentary sensation of its being a despicable slander,—“but I see that as far as you are concerned it answers all the purposes of truth. You think that with the chance of having this thing exploited against me I won't expose your nefarious practices, and you can get rid of me more safely now than ever you could again. Well, you're right. I dare say you heard of this report a good while ago, and you've waited till you could fill my place without inconvenience to yourself. So I can go at once. Draw your check for all you owe me, and pay me back the money I put into your stock, and I'll clear out at once.” He went about putting together a few personal effects on his desk.
“Violence!” laughed Bartley. “I should have to touch you! Come! Don't be scared! But don’t act all high-and-mighty! I see through your game. For some reason, you want to get rid of me, and you've taken this chance with a sharpness that shows your cunning. I'm not going to deny this rumor,”—speaking in this high-handed way, Bartley had a brief feeling that it was a pathetic slander,—“but I realize that for you it serves all the purposes of truth. You think that with the possibility of this thing being used against me, I won’t expose your shady dealings, and you can get rid of me more easily now than you ever could again. Well, you're right. I bet you heard about this rumor a while ago, and you've waited until you could fill my position without it being a hassle for you. So I can leave right away. Write me a check for everything you owe me, and pay me back the money I invested in your stock, and I’ll be out of here immediately.” He started gathering a few personal items from his desk.
“I must protest against any allusion to nefarious practices, Mr. Hubbard,” said Witherby, “and I wish you to understand that I part from you without the slightest ill-feeling. I shall always have a high regard for your ability, and—and—your social qualities.” While he made these expressions he hastened to write two checks.
“I have to object to any suggestion of wrongdoing, Mr. Hubbard,” said Witherby, “and I want you to know that I’m leaving you without any hard feelings. I will always respect your skills and—and—your social charm.” As he said this, he quickly wrote two checks.
Bartley, who had paid no attention to what Witherby was saying, came up and took the checks. “This is all right,” he said of one. But looking at the other, he added, “Fifteen hundred dollars? Where is the dividend?”
Bartley, who hadn’t been listening to what Witherby was saying, came over and took the checks. “This looks good,” he said about one. But then, looking at the other, he added, “Fifteen hundred dollars? Where’s the dividend?”
“That is not due till the end of the month,” said Witherby. “If you withdraw your money now, you lose it.”
“That is not due until the end of the month,” said Witherby. “If you take out your money now, you'll lose it.”
Bartley looked at the face to which Witherby did his best to give a high judicial expression. “You old thief!” he said good-humoredly, almost affectionately. “I have a mind to tweak your nose!” But he went out of the room without saying or doing anything more. He wondered a little at his own amiability; but with the decay of whatever was right-principled in him, he was aware of growing more and more incapable of indignation. Now, his flash of rage over, he was not at all discontented. With these checks in his pocket, with his youth, his health, and his practised hand, he could have faced the world, with a light heart, if he had not also had to face his wife. But when he thought of the inconvenience of explaining to her, of pacifying her anxiety, of clearing up her doubts on a thousand points, and of getting her simply to eat or sleep till he found something else to do, it dismayed him. “Good Lord!” he said to himself, “I wish I was dead—or some one.” That conclusion made him smile again.
Bartley glanced at Witherby's face, which he was trying hard to make look serious. “You old thief!” he said playfully, almost fondly. “I really want to tweak your nose!” But he left the room without saying or doing anything else. He was a bit surprised by his own good mood; as his sense of what's right faded, he noticed he was becoming less and less capable of feeling angry. Now that his moment of rage had passed, he felt pretty content. With those checks in his pocket, his youth, his health, and his skilled hands, he could have faced the world with a light heart if he didn't also have to deal with his wife. But thinking about the hassle of explaining things to her, calming her worries, clarifying her doubts on a thousand issues, and just getting her to eat or sleep until he figured out his next steps left him feeling overwhelmed. “Good Lord!” he muttered to himself, “I wish I were dead—or someone else.” That thought made him smile again.
He decided not to write to Marcia of the change in his affairs, but to take the chance of finding something better before she returned. There was very little time for him to turn round, and he was still without a place or any prospect when she came home. It had sufficed with his acquaintance when he said that he had left the Events because he could not get on with Witherby; but he was very much astonished when it seemed to suffice with her.
He chose not to tell Marcia about the change in his situation and hoped to find something better before she got back. He didn’t have much time to figure things out, and he still didn’t have a job or any prospects when she returned. It was enough for his friend when he said he had left the Events because he couldn’t get along with Witherby; but he was really surprised when it seemed to be enough for her too.
“Oh, well,” she said, “I am glad of it. You will do better by yourself; and I know you can earn just as much by writing on the different papers.”
“Oh, well,” she said, “I’m happy to hear that. You’ll do better on your own; and I know you can make just as much by writing for different publications.”
Bartley knew better than this, but he said, “Yes, I shall not be in a hurry to take another engagement just yet. But, Marsh,” he added, “I was afraid you would blame me,—think I had been reckless, or at fault—”
Bartley knew better than this, but he said, “Yeah, I won’t rush into another job just yet. But, Marsh,” he added, “I was worried you’d blame me—think I’d been careless or messed up—”
“No,” she answered after a little pause, “I shall not do that any more. I have been thinking all these things over, while I was away from you, and I'm going to do differently, after this. I shall believe that you've acted for the best,—that you've not meant to do wrong in anything,—and I shall never question you or doubt you any more.”
“No,” she replied after a short pause, “I’m not going to do that anymore. I’ve been thinking about all of this while I was away from you, and I’m going to change how I act from now on. I’ll believe that you’ve done what you thought was best—that you didn’t intend to do anything wrong—and I won’t question you or doubt you again.”
“Isn't that giving me rather too much rope?” asked Bartley, with lightness that masked a vague alarm lest the old times of exaction should be coming back with the old times of devotion.
“Isn't that giving me way too much rope?” asked Bartley, with a lightness that hid a subtle worry that the old days of demands might be returning along with the old days of loyalty.
“No; I see where my mistake has always been. I've always asked too much, and expected too much, even when I didn't ask it. Now, I shall be satisfied with what you don't do, as well as what you do.”
“No; I get where I’ve been going wrong. I’ve always asked for too much and expected too much, even when I didn’t ask for it. Now, I’ll be okay with what you don’t do, just as much as what you do.”
“I shall try to live up to my privileges,” said Bartley, with a sigh of relief. He gave her a kiss, and then he unclasped Kinney's nugget from his watch-chain, and fastened it on the baby's necklace, which lay in a box Marcia had just taken from her trunk. She did not speak; but Bartley felt better to have the thing off him; Marcia's gentleness, the tinge of sadness in her tone, made him long to confess himself wrong in the whole matter, and justly punished by Ricker's contempt and Witherby's dismissal. But he did not believe that he could trust her to forgive him, and he felt himself unable to go through all that without the certainty of her forgiveness.
“I’ll try to live up to my privileges,” Bartley said with a sigh of relief. He kissed her and then unclasped Kinney's nugget from his watch-chain, fastening it onto the baby's necklace, which was in a box that Marcia had just taken from her trunk. She didn’t say anything; however, Bartley felt better having the thing off him. Marcia’s gentleness and the hint of sadness in her voice made him want to admit he was wrong about everything and deserved Ricker's contempt and Witherby’s dismissal. But he didn’t believe he could trust her to forgive him, and he felt unable to go through it all without knowing for sure that she would forgive him.
As she took the things out of her trunk, and laid them away in this drawer and that, she spoke of events in the village, and told who was dead, who was married, and who had gone away. “I stayed longer than I expected, a little, because father seemed to want me to. I don't think mother's so well as she used to be, I—I'm afraid she seems to be failing, somehow.”
As she took items out of her trunk and put them in this drawer and that, she talked about what was happening in the village, mentioning who had died, who had gotten married, and who had moved away. “I stayed a bit longer than I planned because it seemed like Dad wanted me to. I don't think Mom is as healthy as she used to be; I—I'm worried she seems to be declining in some way.”
Her voice dropped to a lower key, and Bartley said, “I'm sorry to hear that. I guess she isn't failing. But of course she's getting on, and every year makes a difference.”
Her voice became softer, and Bartley said, “I'm sorry to hear that. I guess she isn't failing. But of course she's getting older, and each year makes a difference.”
“Yes, that must be it,” she answered, looking at a bundle of collars she had in her hand, as if absorbed in the question as to where she should put them.
“Yes, that must be it,” she replied, staring at a bundle of collars she had in her hand, seemingly lost in thought about where to put them.
Before they slept that night she asked, “Bartley, did you hear about Hannah Morrison?”
Before they went to sleep that night, she asked, “Bartley, did you hear about Hannah Morrison?”
“No. What about her?”
“No. What about her now?”
“She's gone—gone away. The last time she was seen was in Portland. They don't know what's become of her. They say that Henry Bird is about heart-broken; but everybody knows she never cared for him. I hated to write to you about it.”
“She's gone—gone for good. The last place she was seen was in Portland. They have no idea what happened to her. They say that Henry Bird is pretty heartbroken; but everyone knows she never really cared for him. I didn't want to have to write to you about it.”
Bartley experienced so disagreeable a sensation that he was silent for a time. Then he gave a short, bitter laugh. “Well, that's what it was bound to come to, sooner or later, I suppose. It's a piece of good luck for Bird.”
Bartley felt such an uncomfortable sensation that he was quiet for a while. Then he let out a brief, bitter laugh. “Well, I guess this is what it was always going to lead to, sooner or later. It's good luck for Bird.”
Bartley went about picking up work from one paper and another, but not securing a basis on any. In that curious and unwholesome leniency which corrupt natures manifest, he and Witherby met at their next encounter on quite amicable terms. Bartley reported some meetings for the Events, and experienced no resentment when Witherby at the office introduced him to the gentleman with whom he had replaced him. Of course Bartley expected that Witherby would insinuate things to his disadvantage, but he did not mind that. He heard of something of the sort being done in Ricker's presence, and of Ricker's saying that in any question of honor and veracity between Witherby and Hubbard he should decide for Hubbard. Bartley was not very grateful for this generous defence; he thought that if Ricker had not been such an ass in the first place there would have been no trouble between them, and Witherby would not have had that handle against him.
Bartley picked up gigs from different publications but didn’t settle into any of them. In that strange and unhealthy way corrupt people behave, he and Witherby met again on friendly terms. Bartley reported some meetings for the Events and felt no ill will when Witherby introduced him to the guy he was replacing at the office. Bartley figured Witherby might say things to undermine him, but he didn’t let it bother him. He heard about something like that happening in Ricker's presence, where Ricker mentioned that in any matter of honor and truthfulness between Witherby and Hubbard, he would side with Hubbard. Bartley didn’t feel particularly thankful for this generous support; he thought that if Ricker hadn’t been such a fool to start with, there wouldn’t have been any issues between them, and Witherby wouldn’t have had that leverage against him.
He was enjoying himself very well, and he felt entitled to the comparative rest which had not been of his seeking. He wished that Halleck would come back, for he would like to ask his leave to put that money into some other enterprise. His credit was good, and he had not touched the money to pay any of his accumulated bills; he would have considered it dishonorable to do so. But it annoyed him to have the money lying idle. In his leisure he studied the stock market, and he believed that he had several points which were infallible. He put a few hundreds—two or three—of Halleck's money into a mining stock which was so low that it must rise. In the mean time he tried a new kind of beer,—Norwegian beer, which he found a little lighter even than tivoli. It was more expensive, but it was very light, and it was essential to Bartley to drink the lightest beer he could find.
He was having a great time and felt deservedly relaxed, even though he hadn’t sought it out. He wished Halleck would come back because he wanted to ask for permission to invest that money into another project. His credit was good, and he hadn’t used the money to cover any of his unpaid bills; he would have considered that dishonorable. However, it frustrated him to see the money just sitting there. During his free time, he studied the stock market and felt he had some surefire insights. He invested a few hundred—two or three—of Halleck's dollars into a mining stock that was so low it *had* to go up. In the meantime, he tried a new type of beer—Norwegian beer—which he found to be even lighter than tivoli. It was pricier, but it was *really* light, and it was important for Bartley to drink the lightest beer he could find.
He stayed a good deal at home, now, for he had leisure, and it was a much more comfortable place since Marcia had ceased to question or reproach him. She did not interfere with some bachelor habits he had formed, in her absence, of sleeping far into the forenoon; he now occasionally did night-work on some of the morning papers, and the rest was necessary; he had his breakfast whenever he got up, as if he had been at a hotel. He wondered upon what new theory she was really treating him; but he had always been apt to accept what was comfortable in life without much question, and he did not wonder long. He was immensely good-natured now. In his frequent leisure he went out to walk with Marcia and Flavia, and sometimes he took the little girl alone. He even went to church with them one Sunday, and called at the Hallecks as often as Marcia liked. The young ladies had returned, but Ben Halleck was still away. It made Bartley smile to hear his wife talking of Halleck with his mother and sisters, and falling quite into the family way of regarding him as if he were somehow a saint and martyr.
He spent a lot of time at home now since he had the free time, and it was much more comfortable since Marcia stopped questioning or criticizing him. She didn’t interfere with some of the bachelor habits he had picked up while she was away, like sleeping late into the morning. He sometimes worked on the night shift for some morning papers, and the rest of his time was necessary; he had breakfast whenever he woke up, just like he would at a hotel. He wondered what new approach she was really taking with him, but he had always been good at accepting the comfortable aspects of life without much question, so he didn’t wonder for long. He felt extremely easygoing now. During his frequent free time, he went out for walks with Marcia and Flavia, and sometimes he took the little girl out by herself. He even went to church with them one Sunday and visited the Hallecks as often as Marcia wanted. The young ladies had returned, but Ben Halleck was still away. It made Bartley smile to hear his wife talking about Halleck with his mother and sisters, completely adopting the family view of him as if he were some sort of saint and martyr.
Bartley was still dabbling in stocks with Halleck's money; some of it had lately gone to pay an assessment which had unexpectedly occurred in place of a dividend. He told Marcia that he was holding the money ready to return to Halleck when he came back, or to put it into some other enterprise where it would help to secure Bartley a new basis. They were now together more than they had been since the first days of their married life in Boston; but the perfect intimacy of those days was gone; he had his reserves, and she her preoccupations,—with the house, with the little girl, with her anxiety about her mother. Sometimes they sat a whole evening together, with almost nothing to say to each other, he reading and she sewing. After an evening of this sort, Bartley felt himself worse bored than if Marcia had spent it in taking him to task as she used to do. Once he looked at her over the top of his paper, and distinctly experienced that he was tired of the whole thing.
Bartley was still playing the stock market with Halleck's money; some of it had recently gone to cover an unexpected assessment instead of a dividend. He told Marcia he was keeping the money ready to return to Halleck when he got back, or to invest in another venture that would help Bartley establish a fresh start. They were spending more time together now than they had since their early married days in Boston, but the close connection they once had was gone; he had his own reservations, and she had her concerns—about the house, the little girl, and her worries about her mother. Sometimes they would sit together for an entire evening without much to say, with him reading and her sewing. After a night like that, Bartley felt more bored than if Marcia had scolded him as she used to. Once, he glanced at her over his newspaper and distinctly realized he was tired of the whole situation.
But the political canvass was growing more interesting now. It was almost the end of October, and the speech-making had become very lively. The Democrats were hopeful and the Republicans resolute, and both parties were active in getting out their whole strength, as the saying is, at such times. This was done not only by speech-making, but by long nocturnal processions of torch-lights; by day, as well as by night, drums throbbed and horns brayed, and the feverish excitement spread its contagion through the whole population. But it did not affect Bartley. He had cared nothing about the canvass from the beginning, having an equal contempt for the bloody shirt of the Republicans and the reform pretensions of the Democrats. The only thing that he took an interest in was the betting; he laid his wagers with so much apparent science and sagacity that he had a certain following of young men who bet as Hubbard did. Hubbard, they believed, had a long head; he disdained bets of hats, and of barrels of apples, and ordeals by wheelbarrow; he would bet only with people who could put up their money, and his followers honored him for it; when asked where he got his money, being out of place, and no longer instant to do work that fell in his way, they answered from a ready faith that he had made a good thing in mining stocks.
But the political campaign was getting more interesting now. It was almost the end of October, and the speeches had become very lively. The Democrats were hopeful and the Republicans were determined, and both parties were busy mobilizing all their resources, as the saying goes, at times like this. They did this not just through speeches, but also with long nighttime parades carrying torches; during the day and at night, drums pounded and horns blasted, and the intense excitement spread throughout the entire population. But it didn’t impact Bartley. He hadn’t cared about the campaign from the start, holding equal disdain for the Republicans' bloody shirt and the Democrats' reform claims. The only thing that caught his interest was betting; he placed his bets with such apparent skill and insight that he gained a following of young men who bet like Hubbard did. They believed Hubbard was sharp; he scoffed at bets of hats, barrels of apples, and wheelbarrow challenges; he would only wager with those who could back it up with cash, and his followers respected him for it. When asked where he got his money, being out of work and no longer eager to take on jobs that came his way, they confidently said he had made a good return on mining stocks.
In her heart, Marcia probably did not share this faith. But she faithfully forbore to harass Bartley with her doubts, and on those evenings when he found her such dull company she was silent because if she spoke she must express the trouble in her mind. Women are more apt to theorize their husbands than men in their stupid self-absorption ever realize. When a man is married, his wife almost ceases to be exterior to his consciousness; she afflicts or consoles him like a condition of health or sickness; she is literally part of him in a spiritual sense, even when he is rather indifferent to her; but the most devoted wife has always a corner of her soul in which she thinks of her husband as him; in which she philosophizes him wholly aloof from herself. In such an obscure fastness of her being, Marcia had meditated a great deal upon Bartley during her absence at Equity,—meditated painfully, and in her sort prayerfully, upon him. She perceived that he was not her young dream of him; and since it appeared to her that she could not forego that dream and live, she could but accuse herself of having somehow had a perverse influence upon him. She knew that she had never reproached him except for his good, but she saw too that she had always made him worse, and not better. She recurred to what he said the first night they arrived in Boston: “I believe that, if you have faith in me, I shall get along; and when you don't, I shall go to the bad.” She could reason to no other effect, than that hereafter, no matter what happened, she must show perfect faith in him by perfect patience. It was hard, far harder than she had thought. But she did forbear; she did use patience.
In her heart, Marcia probably didn’t share this belief. But she held back from burdening Bartley with her doubts, and on those evenings when he found her boring company, she stayed quiet because if she spoke, she would have to reveal the turmoil in her mind. Women are more likely to analyze their husbands than men in their cluelessness realize. When a man is married, his wife almost disappears from his awareness; she either burdens or comforts him like a state of health or illness; she is literally part of him in a spiritual way, even when he’s somewhat indifferent to her. But the most devoted wife always has a corner of her soul where she thinks of her husband as him; a space where she considers him entirely separate from herself. In that hidden space of her being, Marcia had thought a lot about Bartley during her time away at Equity—thought about him painfully, and in her own way, prayerfully. She realized he wasn’t the young ideal she had imagined; and since it seemed to her that she couldn’t give up that dream and still live, she could only blame herself for having somehow influenced him negatively. She knew she had never criticized him except out of concern for his well-being, but she also recognized that she had always made him worse, not better. She remembered what he said the first night they arrived in Boston: “I believe that, if you have faith in me, I’ll be alright; and when you don’t, I’ll fall apart.” She could only conclude that from now on, no matter what happened, she had to show complete faith in him through unwavering patience. That was difficult, much harder than she had anticipated. But she held back; she practiced patience.
The election day came and went. Bartley remained out till the news of Tilden's success could no longer be doubted, and then came home jubilant. Marcia seemed not to understand. “I didn't know you cared so much for Tilden,” she said, quietly. “Mr. Halleck is for Hayes; and Ben Halleck was coming home to vote.”
The election day came and went. Bartley stayed out until it was clear that Tilden had won, and then he came home excited. Marcia seemed confused. “I didn't know you were such a fan of Tilden,” she said quietly. “Mr. Halleck is for Hayes; and Ben Halleck was coming home to vote.”
“That's all right: a vote in Massachusetts makes no difference. I'm for Tilden, because I have the most money up on him. The success of that noble old reformer is worth seven hundred dollars to me in bets.” Bartley laughed, rubbed her cheeks with his chilly hands, and went down into the cellar for some beer. He could not have slept without that, in his excitement; but he was out very early the next morning, and in the raw damp of the rainy November day he received a more penetrating chill when he saw the bulletins at the newspaper offices intimating that a fair count might give the Republicans enough Southern States to elect Hayes. This appeared to Bartley the most impudent piece of political effrontery in the whole history of the country, and among those who went about denouncing Republican chicanery at the Democratic club-rooms, no one took a loftier tone of moral indignation than he. The thought that he might lose so much of Halleck's money through the machinations of a parcel of carpet-bagging tricksters filled him with a virtue at which he afterwards smiled when he found that people were declaring their bets off. “I laid a wager on the popular result, not on the decision of the Returning Boards,” he said in reclaiming his money from the referees. He had some difficulty in getting it back, but he had got it when he walked homeward at night, after having been out all day; and there now ensued in his soul a struggle as to what he should do with this money. He had it all except the three hundred he had ventured on the mining stock, which would eventually he worth everything he had paid for it. After his frightful escape from losing half of it on those bets, he had an intense longing to be rid of it, to give it back to Halleck, who never would ask him for it, and then to go home and tell Marcia everything, and throw himself on her mercy. Better poverty, better disgrace before Halleck and her, better her condemnation, than this life of temptation that he had been leading. He saw how hideous it was in the retrospect, and he shuddered; his good instincts awoke, and put forth their strength, such as it was; tears came into his eyes; he resolved to write to Kinney and exonerate Ricker, he resolved humbly to beg Ricker's pardon. He must leave Boston; but if Marcia would forgive him, he would go back with her to Equity, and take up the study of the law in her father's office again, and fulfil all her wishes. He would have a hard time to overcome the old man's prejudices, but he deserved a hard time, and he knew he should finally succeed. It would be bitter, returning to that stupid little town, and he imagined the intrusive conjecture and sarcastic comment that would attend his return; but he believed that he could live this down, and he trusted himself to laugh it down. He already saw himself there, settled in the Squire's office, reinstated in public opinion, a leading lawyer of the place, with Congress open before him whenever he chose to turn his face that way.
“That's fine: a vote in Massachusetts doesn’t matter. I’m for Tilden because I have the most money riding on him. The success of that noble old reformer is worth seven hundred dollars to me in bets.” Bartley laughed, rubbed her cheeks with his cold hands, and went down to the cellar for some beer. He couldn’t have slept without that in his excitement; but he was out very early the next morning, and in the chilly damp of the rainy November day, he felt an even colder chill when he saw the bulletins at the newspaper offices suggesting that a fair count might give the Republicans enough Southern States to elect Hayes. This seemed to Bartley the most brazen act of political shamelessness in the entire history of the country, and among those denouncing Republican trickery at the Democratic club-rooms, no one expressed a loftier sense of moral outrage than he did. The thought that he might lose so much of Halleck's money through the schemes of a bunch of carpet-bagging tricksters filled him with a virtue that later made him smile when he found that people were declaring their bets off. “I placed a bet on the popular result, not on the decision of the Returning Boards,” he said as he reclaimed his money from the referees. He had some trouble getting it back, but he had it when he walked home at night after being out all day; and then a conflict arose in his mind about what to do with this money. He had almost all of it except for the three hundred he had risked on the mining stock, which would eventually be worth everything he had paid for it. After his terrifying escape from losing half of it on those bets, he felt a strong desire to get rid of it, to give it back to Halleck, who would never ask him for it, and then to go home and tell Marcia everything, throwing himself on her mercy. Better to be poor, better to face disgrace before Halleck and her, better to be condemned by her than to continue this life of temptation he had been leading. He recognized how hideous it was in hindsight, and he shuddered; his good instincts awoke and mustered all their strength; tears filled his eyes; he resolved to write to Kinney and clear Ricker’s name, he resolved to humbly ask Ricker for forgiveness. He had to leave Boston; but if Marcia would forgive him, he would go back with her to Equity, and resume studying law in her father's office, and fulfill all her wishes. He knew it would be difficult to overcome the old man's prejudices, but he deserved a tough time, and he knew he would ultimately succeed. It would be hard going back to that small town, and he imagined the intrusive speculation and sarcastic comments that would greet his return; but he believed he could rise above it and trusted himself to laugh it off. He could already picture himself there, settled in the Squire's office, restored in public opinion, a leading lawyer in town, with Congress open to him whenever he chose to pursue that path.
He had thought of going first to Halleck, and returning the money, but he was willing to give himself the encouragement of Marcia's pleasure, of her forgiveness and her praise in an affair that had its difficulties and would require all his manfulness. The maid met him at the door with little Flavia, and told him that Marcia had gone out to the Hallecks', but had left word that she would soon return, and that then they would have supper together. Her absence dashed his warm impulse, but he recovered himself, and took the little one from the maid. He lighted the gas in the parlor, and had a frolic with Flavia in kindling a fire in the grate, and making the room bright and cheerful. He played with the child and made her laugh; he already felt the pleasure of a good conscience, though with a faint nether ache in his heart which was perhaps only his wish to have the disagreeable preliminaries to his better life over as soon as possible. He drew two easy-chairs up at opposite corners of the hearth, and sat down in one, leaving the other for Marcia; he had Flavia standing on his knees, and clinging fast to his fingers, laughing and crowing while he danced her up and down, when he heard the front door open, and Marcia burst into the room.
He had considered going to Halleck first to return the money, but he wanted to enjoy the boost that came from Marcia's happiness, her forgiveness, and her praise in a situation that had its challenges and would require all his strength. The maid greeted him at the door with little Flavia and informed him that Marcia had gone to the Hallecks' but had left word that she would be back soon, and they would have supper together. Her absence dampened his excitement, but he quickly recovered and took the little girl from the maid. He turned on the gas in the parlor and played around with Flavia as they built a fire in the grate, making the room bright and cheerful. He played with her and made her laugh; he felt a sense of satisfaction from doing the right thing, although there was a slight ache in his heart, perhaps just his desire to get through the uncomfortable parts of his new life as quickly as possible. He pulled two easy chairs to opposite corners of the hearth and took a seat in one, leaving the other for Marcia. He had Flavia on his knees, gripping his fingers tightly, laughing and cheering as he bounced her up and down when he heard the front door open, and Marcia came bursting into the room.
She ran to him and plucked the child from him, and then went back as far as she could from him in the room, crying, “Give me the child!” and facing him with the look he knew. Her eyes were dilated, and her visage white with the transport that had whirled her far beyond the reach of reason. The frail structure of his good resolutions dropped to ruin at the sight, but he mechanically rose and advanced upon her till she forbade him with a muffled shriek of “Don't touch me! So!” she went on, gasping and catching her breath, “it was you! I might have known it! I might have guessed it from the first! You! Was that the reason why you didn't care to have me hurry home this summer? Was that—was that—” She choked, and convulsively pressed her face into the neck of the child, which began to cry.
She rushed over to him and took the child from his arms, then backed away as far as she could in the room, crying, “Give me the child!” and facing him with a look he recognized. Her eyes were wide, and her face was pale from the overwhelming emotions that had taken her far beyond reason. The fragile structure of his good intentions crumbled at the sight, but he mechanically stood up and moved toward her until she stopped him with a muffled scream of “Don't touch me! So!” She continued, gasping and catching her breath, “It was you! I should have known it! I could have figured it out from the start! You! Was that why you didn't want me to rush home this summer? Was that—was that—” She choked up and pressed her face into the child's neck, who began to cry.
Bartley closed the doors, and then, with his hands in his pockets, confronted her with a smile of wicked coolness. “Will you be good enough to tell me what you're talking about?”
Bartley closed the doors and, with his hands in his pockets, faced her with a sly smile. “Could you be kind enough to tell me what you’re talking about?”
“Do you pretend that you don't know? I met a woman at the bottom of the street just now. Do you know who?”
“Are you pretending you don't know? I just met a woman at the end of the street. Do you know who she is?”
“No; but it's very dramatic. Go on!”
“No; but it's really dramatic. Go ahead!”
“It was Hannah Morrison! She reeled against me; and when I—such a fool as I was!—pitied her, because I was on my way home to you, and was thinking about you and loving you, and was so happy in it, and asked her how she came to that, she struck me, and told me to—to—ask my—husband!”
“It was Hannah Morrison! She leaned against me, and when I—what a fool I was!—felt sorry for her, because I was on my way home to you, thinking about you and loving you, and feeling so happy about it, I asked her how she ended up like that, and she hit me, and told me to—to—ask my—husband!”
The transport broke in tears; the denunciation had turned to entreaty in everything but words; but Bartley had hardened his heart now past all entreaty. The idiotic penitent that he had been a few moments ago, the soft, well-meaning dolt, was so far from him now as to be scarce within the reach of his contempt. He was going to have this thing over once for all; he would have no mercy upon himself or upon her; the Devil was in him, and uppermost in him, and the Devil is fierce and proud, and knows how to make many base emotions feel like a just self-respect. “And did you believe a woman like that?” he sneered.
The transport broke down in tears; the accusation had shifted to pleading in every sense except words; but Bartley had hardened his heart beyond any plea. The foolish penitent he had been just moments ago, the well-meaning simpleton, felt so distant now as to be hardly within his reach of contempt. He was determined to end this once and for all; he would have no mercy on himself or on her; the Devil was in him, and dominating him, and the Devil is fierce and proud, knowing how to twist many base emotions into a false sense of self-respect. “And did you really believe a woman like that?” he sneered.
“Do I believe a man like this?” she demanded, with a dying flash of her fury. “You—you don't dare to deny it.”
“Do I really believe a guy like this?” she shot back, her anger flaring one last time. “You—you don’t have the guts to deny it.”
“Oh, no, I don't deny it. For one reason, it would be of no use. For all practical purposes, I admit it. What then?”
“Oh, no, I don't deny it. For one reason, it wouldn't be helpful. For all practical purposes, I admit it. What now?”
“What then?” she asked, bewildered. “Bartley; You don't mean it!”
“What then?” she asked, confused. “Bartley, you can't be serious!”
“Yes, I do. I mean it. I don't deny it. What then? What are you going to do about it?” She gazed at him in incredulous horror. “Come! I mean what I say. What will you do?”
“Yes, I do. I really mean it. I don’t deny it. So what? What are you going to do about it?” She looked at him in disbelief and fear. “Come on! I mean what I’m saying. What will you do?”
“Oh, merciful God! what shall I do?” she prayed aloud.
“Oh, merciful God! What should I do?” she prayed loudly.
“That's just what I'm curious to know. When you leaped in here, just now, you must have meant to do something, if I couldn't convince you that the woman was lying. Well, you see that I don't try. I give you leave to believe whatever she said. What then?”
“That's exactly what I'm curious about. When you jumped in here just now, you must have intended to do something, even if I couldn't convince you that the woman was lying. Well, you see, I don't even try. You're free to believe whatever she said. So, what now?”
“Bartley!” she besought him in her despair. “Do you drive me from you?”
“Bartley!” she pleaded with him in her desperation. “Are you pushing me away?”
“Oh, no, certainly not. That isn't my way. You have driven me from you, and I might claim the right to retaliate, but I don't. I've no expectation that you'll go away, and I want to see what else you'll do. You would have me, before we were married; you were tolerably shameless in getting me; when your jealous temper made you throw me away, you couldn't live till you got me back again; you ran after me. Well, I suppose you've learnt wisdom, now. At least you won't try that game again. But what will you do?” He looked at her smiling, while he dealt her these stabs one by one.
“Oh, no, definitely not. That's not how I do things. You've pushed me away, and I could retaliate, but I won’t. I’m not expecting you to leave, and I want to see what else you'll do. You wanted me before we got married; you were pretty bold in pursuing me; when your jealous nature made you push me away, you couldn't stand it until you got me back; you chased after me. Well, I guess you've learned a thing or two now. At least you won’t try that game again. But what will you do?” He looked at her with a smile while delivering these pointed remarks one by one.
She set down the child, and went out to the entry where its hat and cloak hung. She had not taken off her own things, and now she began to put on the little one's garments with shaking hands, kneeling before it. “I will never live with you again, Bartley,” she said.
She put the child down and went out to the hallway where its hat and coat were hanging. She hadn’t taken off her own clothes yet, and now she started putting on the little one’s clothes with trembling hands, kneeling in front of it. “I will never live with you again, Bartley,” she said.
“Very well. I doubt it, as far as you're concerned; but if you go away now, you certainly won't live with me again, for I shall not let you come back. Understand that.”
“Alright. I’m skeptical about how you feel; but if you leave now, you definitely won't be living with me again, because I won’t let you come back. Got that?”
Each had most need of the other's mercy, but neither would have mercy.
Each one needed the other's mercy the most, but neither was willing to show it.
“It isn't for what you won't deny. I don't believe that. It's for what you've said now.” She could not make the buttons and the button-holes of the child's sack meet with her quivering fingers; he actually stooped down and buttoned the little garment for her, as if they had been going to take the child out for a walk between them. She caught it up in her arms, and, sobbing “Good by, Bartley!” ran out of the room.
“It’s not about what you won’t deny. I don’t believe that. It’s about what you’ve said now.” She couldn’t manage to fasten the buttons on the child’s sack with her shaking fingers; he actually bent down and buttoned the little outfit for her, as if they were about to take the child out for a walk together. She picked it up in her arms and, crying “Goodbye, Bartley!” rushed out of the room.
“Recollect that if you go, you don't come back,” he said. The outer door crashing to behind her was his answer.
“Remember, if you leave, you won’t come back,” he said. The sound of the outer door slamming shut behind her was his response.
He sat down to think, before the fire he had built for her. It was blazing brightly now, and the whole room had a hideous cosiness. He could not think, he must act. He went up to their room, where the gas was burning low, as if she had lighted it and then frugally turned it down as her wont was. He did not know what his purpose was, but it developed itself. He began to pack his things in a travelling-bag which he took out of the closet, and which he had bought for her when she set out for Equity in the summer; it had the perfume of her dresses yet.
He sat down to think in front of the fire he had made for her. It was blazing brightly now, and the whole room had an uncomfortable warmth. He couldn't think; he needed to act. He went up to their room, where the gas was burning low, as if she had lit it and then turned it down, as was her habit. He didn't know what his purpose was, but it started to reveal itself. He began to pack his things into a travel bag that he pulled out of the closet, the same one he had bought for her when she left for Equity in the summer; it still carried the scent of her dresses.
When this was finished, he went down stairs again and being now strangely hungry he made a meal of such things as he found set out on the tea-table. Then he went over the papers in his secretary; he burnt some of them, and put others into his bag.
When he was done, he went back downstairs and, feeling unexpectedly hungry, he had a meal of whatever he found on the tea table. Then he went through the papers in his desk; he burned some of them and put others in his bag.
After all this was done he sat down by the fire again, and gave Marcia a quarter of an hour longer in which to return. He did not know whether he was afraid that she would or would not come. But when the time ended, he took up his bag and went out of the house. It began to rain, and he went back for an umbrella: he gave her that one chance more, and he ran up into their room. But she had not come back. He went out again, and hurried away through the rain to the Albany Depot, where he bought a ticket for Chicago. There was as yet nothing definite in his purpose, beyond the fact that he was to be rid of her: whether for a long or short time, or forever, he did not yet know; whether he meant ever to communicate with her, or seek or suffer a reconciliation, the locomotive that leaped westward into the dark with him knew as well as he.
After everything was done, he sat back down by the fire and gave Marcia another fifteen minutes to return. He wasn't sure if he was worried about whether she'd come back or not. When the time was up, he picked up his bag and left the house. It started to rain, so he went back for an umbrella; he was giving her one last chance, and he rushed upstairs to their room. But she still hadn't returned. He went out again and hurried through the rain to the Albany Depot, where he bought a ticket to Chicago. His plans were still unclear, except for the fact that he wanted to be free of her, whether for a long time, a short time, or forever. He didn't know if he would ever reach out to her again or if he would even want to reconcile; the train that sped westward into the dark with him knew just as much as he did.
Yet all the mute, obscure forces of habit, which are doubtless the strongest forces in human nature, were dragging him back to her. Because their lives had been united so long, it seemed impossible to sever them, though their union had been so full of misery and discord; the custom of marriage was so subtile and so pervasive, that his heart demanded her sympathy for what he was suffering in abandoning her. The solitude into which he had plunged stretched before him so vast, so sterile and hopeless, that he had not the courage to realize it; he insensibly began to give it limits: he would return after so many months, weeks, days.
Yet all the silent, hidden forces of habit, which are probably the strongest forces in human nature, were pulling him back to her. Because their lives had been intertwined for so long, it felt impossible to break free, even though their connection had been filled with pain and conflict. The institution of marriage was so subtle and so all-consuming that his heart craved her understanding for what he was going through in leaving her. The loneliness he had thrown himself into loomed before him as vast, barren, and hopeless, and he didn't have the courage to fully face it; he began unconsciously to set limits on it: he would come back after a few months, weeks, days.
He passed twenty-four hours on the train, and left it at Cleveland for the half-hour it stopped for supper. But he could not eat; he had to own to himself that he was beaten, and that he must return, or throw himself into the lake. He ran hastily to the baggage-car, and effected the removal of his bag; then he went to the ticket-office, and waited at the end of a long queue for his turn at the window. His turn came at last, and he confronted the nervous and impatient ticket-agent, without speaking.
He spent twenty-four hours on the train and got off in Cleveland for the half-hour it stopped for dinner. But he couldn’t eat; he had to admit to himself that he was defeated and that he had to go back, or throw himself into the lake. He hurried to the baggage car and got his bag; then he went to the ticket office and waited at the back of a long line for his turn at the window. Finally, it was his turn, and he faced the anxious and impatient ticket agent without saying a word.
“Well, sir, what do you want?” demanded the agent. Then, with rising temper, “What is it? Are you deaf? Are you dumb? You can't expect to stand there all night!”
“Well, sir, what do you want?” the agent demanded. Then, with growing anger, “What is it? Are you deaf? Are you stupid? You can’t expect to just stand there all night!”
The policeman outside the rail laid his hand on Bartley's shoulder: “Move on, my friend.”
The police officer outside the rail put his hand on Bartley's shoulder: “Keep moving, buddy.”
He obeyed, and reeled away in a fashion that confirmed the policeman's suspicions. He searched his pockets again and again; but his porte-monnaie was in none of them. It had been stolen, and Halleck's money with the rest. Now he could not return; nothing remained for him but the ruin he had chosen.
He complied and hurried off in a way that confirmed the policeman’s suspicions. He checked his pockets over and over, but his wallet was nowhere to be found. It had been stolen, along with Halleck's money. Now he couldn’t go back; all he had left was the destruction he had chosen.
XXXII.
Halleck prolonged his summer vacation beyond the end of October. He had been in town from time to time and then had set off again on some new absence; he was so restless and so far from well during the last of these flying visits, that the old people were glad when he wrote them that he should stay as long as the fine weather continued. He spoke of an interesting man whom he had met at the mountain resort where he was staying; a Spanish-American, attached to one of the Legations at Washington, who had a scheme for Americanizing popular education in his own country. “He has made a regular set at me,” Halleck wrote, “and if I had not fooled away so much time already on law and on leather, I should like to fool away a little more on such a cause as this.” He did not mention the matter again in his letters; but the first night after his return, when they all sat together in the comfort of having him at home again, he asked his father, “What should you think of my going to South America?”
Halleck extended his summer vacation past the end of October. He had occasionally come to town, only to leave again for some new adventure; he was so restless and unwell during the last of these brief visits that his parents were relieved when he wrote to say he would stay as long as the nice weather lasted. He mentioned an interesting man he had met at the mountain resort where he was staying—a Spanish-American who worked at one of the legations in Washington and had a plan to Americanize public education in his home country. “He’s been really pushing me,” Halleck wrote, “and if I hadn't wasted so much time already on law and leather, I’d like to spend a bit more on a cause like this.” He didn’t bring it up again in his letters, but the first night after his return, when they all sat together enjoying his presence at home again, he asked his father, “What do you think about me going to South America?”
The old man started up from the pleasant after-supper drowse into which he was suffering himself to fall, content with Halleck's presence, and willing to leave the talk to the women folk. “I don't know what you mean, Ben?”
The old man woke from the nice post-dinner drowsiness he had been sinking into, happy with Halleck's company, and ready to let the women handle the conversation. “I don’t know what you mean, Ben?”
“I suppose it's my having the matter so much in mind that makes me feel as if we had talked it over. I mentioned it in one of my letters.”
“I guess it's because I've been thinking about it so much that I feel like we’ve already discussed it. I brought it up in one of my letters.”
“Yes,” returned his father; “but I presumed you were joking.”
“Yes,” his father replied; “but I thought you were joking.”
Halleck frowned impatiently; he would not meet the gaze of his mother and sisters, but he addressed himself again to his father. “I don't know that I was in earnest.” His mother dropped her eyes to her mending, with a faint sigh of relief. “But I can't say,” he added, “that I was joking, exactly. The man himself was very serious about it.” He stopped, apparently to govern an irritable impulse, and then he went on to set the project of his Spanish-American acquaintance before them, explaining it in detail.
Halleck frowned impatiently; he wouldn’t meet the eyes of his mother and sisters, but he turned back to his father. “I’m not sure I was being serious.” His mother looked down at her mending, letting out a small sigh of relief. “But I can’t say,” he continued, “that I was exactly joking. The guy himself was very serious about it.” He paused, trying to check an irritable impulse, then went on to explain the project his Spanish-American acquaintance had shared with them, detailing it thoroughly.
At the end, “That's good,” said his father, “but why need you have gone, Ben?”
At the end, “That's good,” said his father, “but why did you have to go, Ben?”
The question seemed to vex Halleck; he did not answer at once. His mother could not bear to see him crossed, and she came to his help against herself and his father, since it was only supposing the case. “I presume,” she said, “that we could have looked at it as a missionary work.”
The question seemed to bother Halleck; he didn't respond immediately. His mother couldn't stand to see him upset, so she stepped in to defend him against herself and his father, since it was just a hypothetical situation. “I assume,” she said, “that we could have viewed it as a missionary effort.”
“It isn't a missionary work, mother,” answered Halleck, severely, “in any sense that you mean. I should go down there to teach, and I should be paid for it. And I want to say at once that they have no yellow-fever nor earthquakes, and that they have not had a revolution for six years. The country's perfectly safe every way, and so wholesome that it will be a good thing for me. But I shouldn't expect to convert anybody.”
“It’s not a missionary job, Mom,” Halleck replied firmly, “in any way you’re thinking. I’d be going there to teach, and I’d be getting paid for it. And I want to make it clear that they don’t have yellow fever or earthquakes, and they haven't had a revolution in six years. The country is completely safe in every way and so healthy that it’ll be good for me. But I don’t expect to convert anyone.”
“Of course not, Ben,” said his mother, soothingly.
“Of course not, Ben,” his mom said gently.
“I hope you wouldn't object to it if it were a missionary work,” said one of the elder sisters.
“I hope you wouldn't mind if it were a missionary project,” said one of the older sisters.
“No, Anna,” returned Ben.
“No, Anna,” Ben replied.
“I merely wanted to know,” said Anna.
“I just wanted to know,” said Anna.
“Then I hope you're satisfied, Anna,” Olive cut in. “Ben won't refuse to convert the Uruguayans if they apply in a proper spirit.”
“Then I hope you’re satisfied, Anna,” Olive interrupted. “Ben won’t refuse to convert the Uruguayans if they approach it with the right attitude.”
“I think Anna had a right to ask,” said Miss Louisa, the eldest.
“I think Anna had the right to ask,” said Miss Louisa, the oldest.
“Oh, undoubtedly, Miss Halleck,” said Olive. “I like to see Ben reproved for misbehavior to his mother, myself.”
“Oh, definitely, Miss Halleck,” said Olive. “I enjoy seeing Ben get called out for being disrespectful to his mother, myself.”
Her father laughed at Olive's prompt defence. “Well, it's a cause that we've all got to respect; but I don't see why you should go, Ben, as I said before. It would do very well for some young fellow who had no settled prospects, but you've got your duties here. I presume you looked at it in that light. As you said in your letter, you've fooled away so much time on leather and law—”
Her father laughed at Olive's quick defense. “Well, it’s a cause that we all have to respect, but I don’t see why you should go, Ben, as I mentioned before. It would be great for some young guy who doesn’t have any firm plans, but you have your responsibilities here. I assume you considered it that way. As you said in your letter, you’ve wasted so much time on leather and law—”
“I shall never amount to anything in the law!” Ben broke out. His mother looked at him in anxiety; his father kept a steady smile on his face; Olive sat alert for any chance that offered to put down her elder sisters, who drew in their breath, and grew silently a little primmer. “I'm not well—”
“I’m never going to succeed in law!” Ben exclaimed. His mother looked at him with worry; his father maintained a steady smile; Olive sat ready to take any opportunity to put down her older sisters, who inhaled sharply and became a bit more proper. “I’m not feeling well—”
“Oh, I know you're not, dear,” interrupted his mother, glad of another chance to abet him.
“Oh, I know you’re not, sweetie,” his mother interrupted, happy for another opportunity to support him.
“I'm not strong enough to go on with the line of work I've marked out, and I feel that I'm throwing away the feeble powers I have.”
“I'm not strong enough to continue with the career I've chosen, and I feel like I'm wasting the little strength I have.”
His father answered with less surprise than Halleck had evidently expected, for he had thrown out his words with a sort of defiance; probably the old man had watched him closely enough to surmise that it might come to this with him at last. At any rate, he was able to say, without seeming to assent too readily, “Well, well, give up the law, then, and come back into leather, as you call it. Or take up something else. We don't wish to make anything a burden to you; but take up some useful work at home. There are plenty of things to be done.”
His father responded with less surprise than Halleck clearly expected, as he had thrown out his words with a hint of defiance. The old man had probably observed him closely enough to suspect that it might come to this eventually. Regardless, he managed to say, without seeming too eager to agree, “Well, well, if you’re done with the law, then come back to leather, as you put it. Or pick something else. We don't want to make anything a burden for you; just find some useful work to do at home. There are plenty of things that need doing.”
“Not for me,” said Halleck, gloomily.
“Not for me,” Halleck said, sounding down.
“Oh, yes, there are,” said the old man.
“Oh, yes, there are,” the old man said.
“I see you are not willing to have me go,” said Halleck, rising in uncontrollable irritation. “But I wish you wouldn't all take this tone with me!”
“I see you don’t want me to leave,” Halleck said, standing up in frustration. “But I wish you wouldn’t all act this way towards me!”
“We haven't taken any tone with you, Ben,” said his mother, with pleading tenderness.
“We haven't spoken harshly to you, Ben,” said his mother, with a heartfelt plea.
“I think Anna has decidedly taken a tone,” said Olive.
“I think Anna has definitely taken a tone,” said Olive.
Anna did not retort, but “What tone?” demanded Louisa, in her behalf.
Anna didn't respond, but "What tone?" Louisa asked on her behalf.
“Hush, children,” said their mother.
"Be quiet, kids," said their mom.
“Well, well,” suggested his father to Ben. “Think it over, think it over. There's no hurry.”
“Well, well,” his father said to Ben. “Take your time, take your time. There’s no rush.”
“I've thought it over; there is hurry,” retorted Halleck. “If I go, I must go at once.”
“I've thought it through; there is urgency,” replied Halleck. “If I'm going, I need to go right away.”
His mother arrested her thread, half drawn through the seam, letting her hand drop, while she glanced at him.
His mother stopped her sewing, the thread halfway through the seam, letting her hand fall as she looked at him.
“It isn't so much a question of your giving up the law, Ben, as of your giving up your family and going so far away from us all,” said his father. “That's what I shouldn't like.”
“It’s not really about you leaving the law, Ben, but about you leaving your family and going so far away from us,” his father said. “That’s what I really don’t like.”
“I don't like that, either. But I can't help it.” He added, “Of course, mother, I shall not go without your full and free consent. You and father must settle it between you.” He fetched a quick, worried sigh as he put his hand on the door.
“I don't like that either. But there's nothing I can do about it.” He added, “Of course, mom, I won’t go without your complete and willing consent. You and dad need to figure it out between you.” He let out a quick, worried sigh as he placed his hand on the door.
“Ben isn't himself at all,” said Mrs. Halleck, with tears in her eyes, after he had left the room.
“Ben isn't himself at all,” Mrs. Halleck said, tears in her eyes, after he had left the room.
“No,” said her husband. “He's restless. He'll get over this idea in a few days.” He urged this hope against his wife's despair, and argued himself into low spirits.
“No,” her husband replied. “He's restless. He'll move past this idea in a few days.” He encouraged this hope to counter his wife's despair, but he found himself feeling down as well.
“I don't believe but what it would be the best thing for his health, may be,” said Mrs. Halleck, at the end.
“I don't believe it wouldn't be the best thing for his health, maybe,” said Mrs. Halleck, at the end.
“I've always had my doubts whether he would ever come to anything in the law,” said the father.
“I've always doubted whether he would ever accomplish anything in the law,” said the father.
The elder sisters discussed Halleck's project apart between themselves, as their wont was with any family interest, and they bent over a map of South America, so as to hide what they were doing from their mother.
The older sisters talked about Halleck's project privately, as they usually did with any family matters, and they leaned over a map of South America to keep their activities hidden from their mother.
Olive had left the room by another door, and she intercepted Halleck before he reached his own.
Olive had exited through another door and stopped Halleck before he could get to his.
“What is the matter, Ben?” she whispered.
"What's wrong, Ben?" she whispered.
“Nothing,” he answered, coldly. But he added, “Come in, Olive.”
“Nothing,” he replied, coldly. But he added, “Come in, Olive.”
She followed him, and hovered near after he turned up the gas.
She followed him and stayed close after he turned up the gas.
“I can't stand it here, I must go,” he said, turning a dull, weary look upon her.
“I can't stand it here, I need to leave,” he said, giving her a tired, empty stare.
“Who was at the Elm House that you knew this last time?” she asked, quickly.
“Who did you know at the Elm House this time?” she asked, quickly.
“Laura Dixmore isn't driving me away, if you mean that,” replied Halleck.
“Laura Dixmore isn't pushing me away, if that's what you mean,” replied Halleck.
“I couldn't believe it was she! I should have despised you if it was. But I shall hate her, whoever it was.”
“I couldn't believe it was her! I should have hated you if it was. But I'll hate her, no matter who she is.”
Halleck sat down before his table, and his sister sank upon the corner of a chair near it, and looked wistfully at him. “I know there is some one!”
Halleck sat down at his table, and his sister settled into the corner of a chair next to it, gazing at him with a sense of longing. “I know there’s someone!”
“If you think I've been fool enough to offer myself to any one, Olive, you're very much mistaken.”
“If you think I’m foolish enough to offer myself to anyone, Olive, you’re very mistaken.”
“Oh, it needn't have come to that,” said Olive, with indignant pity.
“Oh, it didn’t have to come to that,” Olive said, feeling a mix of anger and sympathy.
“My life's a failure here,” cried Halleck, moving his head uneasily from side to side. “I feel somehow as if I could go out there and pick up the time I've lost. Great Heaven!” he cried, “if I were only running away from some innocent young girl's rejection, what a happy man I should be!”
“My life is a mess here,” Halleck shouted, shifting his head nervously from side to side. “It feels like I could just go out there and reclaim the time I've wasted. Good grief!” he exclaimed, “if I were just escaping from some sweet girl's rejection, what a happy man I would be!”
“It's some horrid married thing, then, that's been flirting with you!”
“It's some terrible married person, then, who's been flirting with you!”
He gave a forlorn laugh. “I'd almost confess it to please you, Olive. But I'd prefer to get out of the matter without lying, if I could. Why need you suppose any reason but the sufficient one I've given?—Don't afflict me! don't imagine things about me, don't make a mystery of me! I've been blunt and awkward, and I've bungled the business with father and mother; but I want to get away because I'm a miserable fraud here, and I think I might rub on a good while there before I found myself out again.”
He laughed sadly. “I’d almost admit it just to make you happy, Olive. But I’d rather get out of this without lying, if I can. Why do you think there’s more to it than the simple reason I’ve given?—Don’t torment me! Don’t make assumptions about me, don’t turn me into some kind of mystery! I’ve been straightforward and clumsy, and I've messed things up with my dad and mom; but I want to leave because I feel like a complete fraud here, and I think I could manage to hang on for a while there before I figured myself out again.”
“Ben,” demanded Olive, regardless of his words, “what have you been doing?”
“Ben,” Olive insisted, ignoring his words, “what have you been doing?”
“The old story,—nothing.”
“The same old story—nothing.”
“Is that true, Ben?”
"Is that true, Ben?"
“You used to be satisfied with asking once, Olive.”
“You used to be okay with asking just once, Olive.”
“You haven't been so wicked, so careless, as to get some poor creature in love with, you, and then want to run away from the misery you've made?”
“You haven't been so cruel and thoughtless as to make someone fall in love with you and then want to escape from the pain you’ve caused, have you?”
“I suppose if I look it there's no use denying it,” said Halleck, letting his sad eyes meet hers, and smiling drearily. “You insist upon having a lady in the case?”
“I guess if I think about it, there's no point in denying it,” said Halleck, letting his sad eyes meet hers and smiling bleakly. “Do you really insist on having a lady involved?”
“Yes. But I see you won't tell me anything; and I won't afflict you. Only I'm afraid it's just some silly thing, that you've got to brooding over, and that you'll let drive you away.”
“Yes. But I can see you’re not going to share anything with me, and I won't bother you. I’m just afraid it’s something trivial that you’re fixating on, and that it will make you pull away.”
“Well, you have the comfort of reflecting that I can't get away, whatever the pressure is.”
“Well, you can find comfort in knowing that I can’t escape, no matter what the pressure is.”
“You know better than that, Ben; and so do I. You know that, if you haven't got father and mother's consent already, it's only because you haven't had the heart to ask for it. As far as that's concerned, you're gone already. But I hope you won't go without thinking it over, as father says,—and talking it over. I hate to have you seem unsteady and fickle-minded, when I know you're not; and I'm going to set myself against this project till I know what's driving you from us,—or till I'm sure that it's something worth while. You needn't expect that I shall help to make it easy for you; I shall help to make it hard.”
“You know better than that, Ben; so do I. You know that if you haven't gotten Mom and Dad's permission yet, it's only because you haven't had the courage to ask for it. As far as that's concerned, you're already on your way out. But I hope you won't leave without thinking it through, like Dad says—and discussing it. I hate to see you look unsure and indecisive when I know you're not; and I'm going to oppose this idea until I understand what’s pushing you away from us—or until I’m sure it’s something worthwhile. Don't expect me to make this easy for you; I'm going to make it difficult.”
Her loving looks belied her threats; if the others could not resist Ben when any sort of desire showed itself through his habitual listlessness, how could she, who understood him best and sympathized with him most? “There was something I was going to talk to you about, to-night, if you hadn't scared us all with this ridiculous scheme, and ask you whether you couldn't do something.” She seemed to suggest the change of interest with the hope of winning his thoughts away from the direction they had taken; but he listened apathetically, and left her to go further or not as she chose. “I think,” she added abruptly, “that some trouble is hanging over those wretched Hubbards.”
Her affectionate looks contradicted her threats; if the others couldn’t resist Ben when his usual indifference was pierced by any kind of desire, how could she, who knew him best and felt for him the most? “There was something I wanted to discuss with you tonight, if you hadn’t scared us all with this absurd plan, and I wanted to ask if you could do something.” She seemed to hint at a shift in focus, hoping to pull his thoughts away from where they had settled; but he listened without interest, leaving it up to her to continue or not. “I think,” she added suddenly, “that some trouble is looming over those unfortunate Hubbards.”
“Some new one?” asked Halleck, with sad sarcasm, turning his eyes towards her, as if with the resolution of facing her.
“Is it someone new?” asked Halleck, with a hint of sad sarcasm, turning his eyes towards her, as if he had resolved to confront her.
“You know he's left his place on that newspaper.”
“You know he's left his position at that newspaper.”
“Yes, I heard that when I was at home before.”
“Yes, I heard that when I was home earlier.”
“There are some very disagreeable stories about it. They say he was turned away by Mr. Witherby for behaving badly,—for printing something he oughtn't to have done.”
“There are some really unpleasant stories about it. They say Mr. Witherby turned him away for misbehaving—for printing something he shouldn't have.”
“That was to have been expected,” said Halleck.
"That was to be expected," Halleck said.
“He hasn't found any other place, and Marcia says he gets very little work to do. He must be running into debt, terribly. I feel very anxious about them. I don't know what they're living on.”
“He hasn’t found anywhere else, and Marcia says he hardly gets any work. He must be falling deep into debt. I feel really worried about them. I have no idea how they're making ends meet.”
“Probably on some money I lent him,” said Halleck, quietly. “I lent him fifteen hundred in the spring. It ought to make him quite comfortable for the present.”
“Probably for some money I lent him,” said Halleck, calmly. “I lent him fifteen hundred in the spring. That should make him pretty comfortable for now.”
“Oh, Ben! Why did you lend him money? You might have known he wouldn't do any good with it.”
“Oh, Ben! Why did you lend him money? You should have known he wouldn't use it wisely.”
Halleck explained how and why the loan had been made, and added: “If he's supporting his family with it, he's doing some good. I lent it to him for her sake.”
Halleck explained how and why the loan was made, adding, “If he's using it to support his family, he's doing something good. I lent it to him for her benefit.”
Halleck looked hardily into his sister's face, but he dropped his eyes when she answered, simply: “Yes, of course. But I don't believe she knows anything about it; and I'm glad of it: it would only add to her trouble. She worships you, Ben!”
Halleck looked confidently into his sister's face, but he looked away when she replied, simply: “Yeah, of course. But I don’t think she knows anything about it; and I’m glad she doesn’t: it would just add to her stress. She admires you, Ben!”
“Does she?”
“Does she?”
“She seems to think you are perfect, and she never comes here but she asks when you're to be home. I suppose she thinks you have a good influence on that miserable husband of hers. He's going from bad to worse, I guess. Father heard that he is betting on the election. That's what he's doing with your money.”
“She seems to think you're perfect, and she never comes here, but she asks when you’ll be home. I guess she believes you have a good influence on that miserable husband of hers. He's getting worse, I suppose. Dad heard that he’s betting on the election. That’s what he’s doing with your money.”
“It would be somebody else's money if it wasn't mine,” said Halleck. “Bartley Hubbard must live, and he must have the little excitements that make life agreeable.”
“It would be someone else's money if it weren't mine,” said Halleck. “Bartley Hubbard has to survive, and he needs the little thrills that make life enjoyable.”
“Poor thing!” sighed Olive, “I don't know what she would do if she heard that you were going away. To hear her talk, you would think she had been counting the days and hours till you got back. It's ridiculous, the way she goes on with mother; asking everything about you, as if she expected to make Bartley Hubbard over again on your pattern. I should hate to have anybody think me such a saint as she does you. But there isn't much danger, thank goodness! I could laugh, sometimes, at the way she questions us all about you, and is so delighted when she finds that you and that wretch have anything in common. But it's all too miserably sad. She certainly is the most single-hearted creature alive,” continued Olive, reflectively. “Sometimes she scares me with her innocence. I don't believe that even her jealousy ever suggested a wicked idea to her: she's furious because she feels the injustice of giving so much more than he does. She hasn't really a thought for anybody else: I do believe that if she were free to choose from now till doomsday she would always choose Bartley Hubbard, bad as she knows him to be. And if she were a widow, and anybody else proposed to her, she would be utterly shocked and astonished.”
“Poor thing!” Olive sighed. “I don't know what she would do if she found out you were leaving. Listening to her, you’d think she had been counting the days and hours until you returned. It's crazy how she goes on with my mom, asking everything about you, as if she expected to recreate Bartley Hubbard in your image. I would hate for anyone to think I was as much of a saint as she thinks you are. But thankfully, there isn’t much risk of that! Sometimes I can’t help but laugh at the way she interrogates us about you and is thrilled when she discovers that you and that jerk have anything in common. But it’s all just so miserably sad. She really is the most sincere person alive,” Olive continued thoughtfully. “Sometimes she actually scares me with her innocence. I don’t think her jealousy has ever led her to a wicked thought: she’s mad because she feels it’s unfair that she gives so much more than he does. She doesn’t really think about anyone else: I honestly believe that if she could choose from now until doomsday, she would always pick Bartley Hubbard, no matter how bad she knows he is. And if she were a widow and someone else asked her out, she would be completely shocked and bewildered.”
“Very likely,” said Halleck, absently.
“Very likely,” Halleck said, distracted.
“I feel very unhappy about her,” Olive resumed. “I know that she's anxious and troubled all the time. Can't you do something, Ben? Have a talk with that disgusting thing, and see if you can't put him straight again, somehow?”
“I’m really worried about her,” Olive continued. “I know she’s anxious and upset all the time. Can’t you do something, Ben? Talk to that awful guy and see if you can set him straight again, somehow?”
“No!” exclaimed Halleck, bursting violently from his abstraction. “I shall have nothing to do with them! Let him go his own way and the sooner he goes to the—I won't interfere,—I can't, I mustn't! I wonder at you, Olive!” He pushed away from the table, and went limping about the room, searching here and there for his hat and stick, which were on the desk where he had put them, in plain view. As he laid hand on them at last, he met his sister's astonished eyes. “If I interfered, I should not interfere because I cared for him at all!” he cried.
“No!” Halleck shouted, snapping out of his thoughts. “I won't get involved with them! He can go his own way, and the sooner he goes to the—I won’t interfere—I can't, I mustn't! I’m surprised at you, Olive!” He pushed away from the table and limped around the room, looking for his hat and stick, which were on the desk in plain view. As he finally grabbed them, he caught his sister’s astonished gaze. “If I got involved, it wouldn’t be because I cared about him at all!” he exclaimed.
“Of course not,” said Olive. “But I don't see anything to make you wonder at me about that.”
“Of course not,” said Olive. “But I don't see anything that would make you wonder about that.”
“It would be because I cared for her—”
“It would be because I cared about her—”
“Certainly! You didn't suppose I expected you to interfere from any other motive?”
“Of course! You didn’t think I expected you to get involved for any other reason?”
He stood looking at her in stupefaction, with his hand on his hat and stick, like a man who doubts whether he has heard aright. Presently a shiver passed over him, another light came into his eyes, and he said quietly, “I'm going out to see Atherton.”
He stood there, staring at her in disbelief, with his hand on his hat and cane, like someone unsure if they heard correctly. After a moment, a shiver ran through him, a new light sparked in his eyes, and he said calmly, “I’m going out to see Atherton.”
“To-night?” said his sister, accepting provisionally, as women do, the apparent change of subject. “Don't go to-night, Ben! You're too tired.”
“To night?” said his sister, tentatively accepting the apparent change of subject, as women often do. “Don't go tonight, Ben! You're too tired.”
“I'm not tired. I intended to see him to-night, at any rate. I want to talk over this South American scheme with him.” He put on his hat, and moved quickly toward the door.
“I'm not tired. I planned to see him tonight, anyway. I want to discuss this South American idea with him.” He put on his hat and headed quickly toward the door.
“Ask him about the Hubbards,” said Olive. “Perhaps he can tell you something.”
“Ask him about the Hubbards,” said Olive. “Maybe he can share something with you.”
“I don't want to know anything. I shall ask him nothing.”
“I don't want to know anything. I won’t ask him anything.”
She slipped between him and the door. “Ben, you haven't heard anything against poor Marcia, have you?”
She moved between him and the door. “Ben, you haven’t heard anything bad about poor Marcia, have you?”
“No!”
“No way!”
“You don't think she's to blame in any way for his going wrong, do you?
"You don't think she's responsible at all for him going off track, do you?"
“How could I?”
"How could I?"
“Then I don't understand why you won't do anything to help her.”
“Then I don’t get why you won’t do anything to help her.”
He looked at her again, and opened his lips to speak once, but closed them before he said, “I've got my own affairs to worry me. Isn't that reason enough for not interfering in theirs?”
He looked at her again and opened his mouth to speak, but then he shut it and said, “I have my own issues to deal with. Isn’t that reason enough to stay out of theirs?”
“Not for you, Ben.”
"Not for you, Ben."
“Then I don't choose to mix myself up in other people's misery. I don't like it, as you once said.”
“Then I don’t want to get involved in other people's problems. I don’t like it, just like you said before.”
“But you can't help it sometimes, as you said.”
“But you can't help it sometimes, as you said.”
“I can this time, Olive. Don't you see,—” he began.
“I can this time, Olive. Don't you see,—” he started.
“I see there's something you won't tell me. But I shall find it out.” She threatened him half playfully.
“I can tell there’s something you’re keeping from me. But I’ll find out what it is.” She teased him, half-joking.
“I wish you could,” he answered. “Then perhaps you'd let me know.” She opened the door for him now, and as he passed out he said gently, “I am tired, but I sha'n't begin to rest till I have had this talk with Atherton. I had better go.”
“I wish you could,” he replied. “Then maybe you’d let me know.” She opened the door for him now, and as he walked out, he said softly, “I am tired, but I won’t start to rest until I have this conversation with Atherton. I should get going.”
“Yes,” Olive assented, “you'd better.” She added in banter, “You're altogether too mysterious to be of much comfort at home.”
“Yes,” Olive agreed, “you’d better.” She added playfully, “You’re just way too mysterious to be of any comfort at home.”
The family heard him close the outside door behind him after Olive came back to them, and she explained, “He's gone out to talk it over with Mr. Atherton.”
The family heard him shut the outside door after Olive came back to them, and she explained, “He's gone out to discuss it with Mr. Atherton.”
His father gave a laugh of relief. “Well, if he leaves it to Atherton, I guess we needn't worry about it.”
His dad let out a laugh of relief. “Well, if he leaves it to Atherton, I guess we don’t need to worry about it.”
“The child isn't at all well,” said his mother.
“The child isn’t doing well at all,” said his mother.
XXXIII.
Halleck met Atherton at the door of his room with his hat and coat on. “Why, Halleck! I was just going to see if you had come home!”
Halleck met Atherton at the door of his room, wearing his hat and coat. “Hey, Halleck! I was just about to check if you were home!”
“You needn't now,” said Halleck, pushing by him into the room. “I want to see you, Atherton, on business.”
“You don't need to now,” said Halleck, brushing past him into the room. “I want to talk to you, Atherton, about business.”
Atherton took off his hat, and closed the door with one hand, while he slipped the other arm out of his overcoat sleeve. “Well, to tell the truth, I was going to mingle a little business myself with the pleasure of seeing you.” He turned up the gas in his drop-light, and took the chair from which he had looked across the table at Halleck, when they talked there before. “It's the old subject,” he said, with a sense of repetition in the situation. “I learn from Witherby that Hubbard has taken that money of yours out of the Events, and from what I hear elsewhere he is making ducks and drakes of it on election bets. What shall you do about it?”
Atherton took off his hat and closed the door with one hand while slipping his other arm out of his overcoat sleeve. “To be honest, I was planning to mix a bit of business with the pleasure of seeing you.” He turned up the gas in his drop-light and grabbed the chair he had sat in while talking to Halleck before. “It's the same old topic,” he said, feeling the familiarity of the situation. “I heard from Witherby that Hubbard has taken your money out of the Events, and from what I've gathered elsewhere, he’s wasting it on election bets. What are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing,” said Halleck.
“Nothing,” Halleck said.
“Oh! Very well,” returned Atherton, with the effect of being a little snubbed, but resolved to take his snub professionally. He broke out, however, in friendly exasperation: “Why in the world did you lend the fellow that money?”
“Oh! Fine,” Atherton replied, sounding a bit offended but determined to handle it like a pro. He then expressed his friendly annoyance: “Why on earth did you lend that guy money?”
Halleck lifted his brooding eyes, and fixed them half pleadingly, half defiantly upon his friend's face. “I did it for his wife's sake.”
Halleck lifted his intense gaze and fixed it on his friend's face, half pleading and half defiantly. “I did it for his wife's sake.”
“Yes, I know,” returned Atherton. “I remember how you felt. I couldn't share your feeling, but I respected it. However, I doubt if your loan was a benefit to either of them. It probably tempted him to count upon money that he hadn't earned, and that's always corrupting.”
“Yes, I know,” Atherton replied. “I remember how you felt. I couldn't share your feelings, but I respected them. However, I doubt that your loan was helpful for either of them. It probably tempted him to rely on money he hadn't earned, and that’s always corrupting.”
“Yes,” Halleck replied. “But I can't say that, so far as he's concerned, I'm very sorry. I don't suppose it would do her any good if I forced him to disgorge any balance he may have left from his wagers?”
“Yes,” Halleck replied. “But I can't say that I'm very sorry about him. I don't think it would help her if I made him give back any money he might have left from his bets?”
“No, hardly.”
“No, not really.”
“Then I shall let him alone.”
“Then I will leave him alone.”
The subject was dismissed, and Atherton waited for Halleck to speak of the business on which he had come. But Halleck only played with the paper cutter which his left hand had found on the table near him, and, with his chin sunk on his breast, seemed lost in an unhappy reverie.
The topic was dropped, and Atherton waited for Halleck to bring up the reason for his visit. But Halleck just fiddled with the paper cutter that his left hand had found on the nearby table, and, with his chin resting on his chest, appeared to be caught up in a gloomy daydream.
“I hope you won't accuse yourself of doing him an injury,” said Atherton, at last, with a smile.
“I hope you won’t blame yourself for hurting him,” said Atherton, finally smiling.
“Injury?” demanded Halleck, quickly. “What injury? How?”
“Injury?” Halleck asked quickly. “What injury? How?”
“By lending him that money.”
"By lending him that cash."
“Oh! I had forgotten that; I wasn't thinking of it,” returned Halleck impatiently. “I was thinking of something different. I'm aware of disliking the man so much, that I should be willing to have greater harm than that happen to him,—the greatest, for what I know. Though I don't know, after all, that it would be harm. In another life, if there is one, he might start in a new direction; but that isn't imaginable of him here; he can only go from bad to worse; he can only make more and more sorrow and shame. Why shouldn't one wish him dead, when his death could do nothing but good?”
“Oh! I completely forgot about that; it slipped my mind,” Halleck replied impatiently. “I was focused on something else. I realize I dislike the guy so much that I'd be okay with him facing even worse consequences—maybe the worst, for all I know. Although I'm not sure it would actually be harm. In another life, if there is one, he could change his ways; but that's hard to picture for him here; he can only go from bad to worse; he can only create more and more sorrow and shame. So, why shouldn't someone wish him dead when his death would only bring good?”
“I suppose you don't expect me to answer such a question seriously.”
“I guess you don't expect me to take that question seriously.”
“But suppose I did?”
“But what if I did?”
“Then I should say that no man ever wished any such good as that, except from the worst motive; and the less one has to do with such questions, even as abstractions, the better.”
“Then I should say that no one ever wanted anything like that, except for the worst reasons; and the less you engage with those kinds of questions, even as ideas, the better.”
“You're right,” said Halleck. “But why do you call it an abstraction?”
"You're right," Halleck said. "But why do you call it an abstraction?"
“Because, in your case, nothing else is conceivable.”
“Because, for you, nothing else makes sense.”
“I told you I was willing the worst should happen to him.”
“I told you I was okay with the worst happening to him.”
“And I didn't believe you.”
"I didn't believe you."
Halleck lay back in his chair, and laughed wearily. “I wish I could convince somebody of my wickedness. But it seems to be useless to try. I say things that ought to raise the roof, both to you here and to Olive at home, and you tell me you don't believe me, and she tells me that Mrs. Hubbard thinks me a saint. I suppose now, that if I took you by the button-hole and informed you confidentially that I had stopped long enough at 129 Clover Street to put Bartley Hubbard quietly out of the way, you wouldn't send for a policeman.”
Halleck leaned back in his chair and laughed tiredly. “I wish I could convince someone of how bad I am. But it seems pointless to even try. I say things that should shock everyone, both to you here and to Olive at home, and you tell me you don't believe me, and she says that Mrs. Hubbard thinks I'm a saint. I suppose now, if I took you by the lapel and told you privately that I had stopped for long enough at 129 Clover Street to take care of Bartley Hubbard, you wouldn't call the cops.”
“I should send for a doctor,” said Atherton.
“I should call a doctor,” said Atherton.
“Such is the effect of character! And yet out of the fulness of the heart, the mouth speaketh. Out of the heart proceed all those unpleasant things enumerated in Scripture; but if you bottle them up there, and keep your label fresh, it's all that's required of you, by your fellow-beings, at least. What an amusing thing morality would be if it were not—otherwise. Atherton, do you believe that such a man as Christ ever lived?”
“That's the power of character! Yet from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. All those negative traits mentioned in Scripture come from the heart; but if you keep them bottled up there and maintain a good image, that's all that's expected of you by others, at least. Morality would be quite amusing if it weren't for—well, other things. Atherton, do you really think a man like Christ ever existed?”
“I know you do, Halleck,” said Atherton.
"I know you do, Halleck," Atherton said.
“Well, that depends upon what you call me. It what I was—if my well Sunday-schooled youth—is I, I do. But if I, poising dubiously on the momentary present, between the past and future, am I, I'm afraid I don't. And yet it seems to me that I have a fairish sort of faith. I know that, if Christ never lived on earth, some One lived who imagined him, and that One must have been a God. The historical fact oughtn't to matter. Christ being imagined, can't you see what a comfort, what a rapture, it must have been to all these poor souls to come into such a presence and be looked through and through? The relief, the rest, the complete exposure of Judgment Day—”
“Well, that depends on how you define me. If you’re talking about who I was back in my well-taught Sunday school days, then yes, that’s me. But if you’re asking about my current self, caught between the past and the future, then I’m afraid I can’t say that’s me. Still, I feel like I have a decent kind of faith. I know that if Christ never walked this earth, there was someone who envisioned him, and that someone must have been divine. The historical truth shouldn’t really matter. Christ, whether real or imagined, must have brought so much comfort and joy to all those poor souls who could enter such a presence and feel truly seen. The relief, the peace, the total exposure of Judgment Day—”
“Every day is Judgment Day,” said Atherton.
“Every day is Judgment Day,” Atherton said.
“Yes, I know your doctrine. But I mean the Last Day. We ought to have something in anticipation of it, here, in our social system. Character is a superstition, a wretched fetish. Once a year wouldn't be too often to seize upon sinners whose blameless life has placed them above suspicion, and turn them inside out before the community, so as to show people how the smoke of the Pit had been quietly blackening their interior. That would destroy character as a cult.” He laughed again. “Well, this isn't business,—though it isn't pleasure, either, exactly. What I came for was to ask you something. I've finished at the Law School, and I'm just ready to begin here in the office with you. Don't you think it would be a good time for me to give up the law? Wait a moment!” he said, arresting in Atherton an impulse to speak. “We will take the decent surprise, the friendly demur, the conscientious scruple, for granted. Now, honestly, do you believe I've got the making of a lawyer in me?”
“Yes, I’m familiar with your beliefs. But I’m talking about the Last Day. We should have something in place for it, here, in our social system. Character is just a superstition, a pathetic idol. Once a year wouldn’t be too often to expose sinners whose spotless lives have put them above suspicion, and turn them inside out in front of everyone, showing how the smoke of the Pit has quietly tarnished their insides. That would take down character as a belief system.” He laughed again. “Well, this isn’t business—though it’s not exactly pleasure either. What I came to ask you is this: I’ve finished at the Law School, and I’m ready to start here in the office with you. Don’t you think it’s a good time for me to leave the law behind? Hold on!” he said, stopping Atherton from speaking. “Let’s assume we can take the polite surprise, the friendly hesitation, the moral doubt for granted. Now, honestly, do you think I have what it takes to be a lawyer?”
“I don't think you're very well, Halleck,” Atherton began.
“I don't think you're feeling very well, Halleck,” Atherton started.
“Ah, you're a lawyer! You won't give me a direct answer!”
“Ah, you're a lawyer! You won't give me a straight answer!”
“I will if you wish,” retorted Atherton.
“I'll do it if you want,” Atherton replied.
“Well.”
"Alright."
“Do you want to give it up?”
"Do you want to leave?"
“Yes.”
"Yes."
“Then do it. No man ever prospered in it yet who wanted to leave it. And now, since it's come to this, I'll tell you what I really have thought, all along. I've thought that, if your heart was really set on the law, you would overcome your natural disadvantages for it; but if the time ever came when you were tired of it, your chance was lost: you never would make a lawyer. The question is, whether that time has come.”
“Then do it. No one has ever succeeded in it who wanted to walk away. And now that we’ve reached this point, I’ll tell you what I really have thought all along. I’ve believed that if you truly cared about the law, you would push through your natural obstacles; but if the moment ever arrived when you were done with it, then your opportunity would be gone: you’d never become a lawyer. The question is, has that moment arrived?”
“It has,” said Halleck.
"It has," Halleck said.
“Then stop, here and now. You've wasted two years' time, but you can't get it back by throwing more after it. I shouldn't be your friend, I shouldn't be an honest man, if I let you go on with me, after this. A bad lawyer is such a very bad thing. This isn't altogether a surprise to me, but it will be a blow to your father,” he added, with a questioning look at Halleck, after a moment.
“Then stop, right now. You've wasted two years, but throwing more time at it won't get it back. I wouldn't be a good friend or an honest person if I let you continue with this. A bad lawyer is really not acceptable. I’m not completely surprised, but this will hit your father hard,” he added, giving Halleck a questioning look after a moment.
“It might have been, if I hadn't taken the precaution to deaden the place by a heavier blow first.”
“It could have been, if I hadn't taken the step to knock it out with a heavier blow first.”
“Ah! you've spoken to him already?”
“Wow! You’ve already talked to him?”
“Yes, I've had it out in a sneaking, hypothetical way. But I could see that, so far as the law was concerned it was enough; it served. Not that he's consented to the other thing; there's where I shall need your help, Atherton. I'll tell you what my plan is.” He stated it bluntly at first; and then went over the ground and explained it fully, as he had done at home. Atherton listened without permitting any sign of surprise to escape him; but he listened with increasing gravity, as if he heard something not expressed in Halleck's slow, somewhat nasal monotone, and at the end he said, “I approve of any plan that will take you away for a while. Yes, I'll speak to your father about it.”
“Yes, I've brought it up in a sneaky, hypothetical way. But I could see that, from a legal standpoint, it was enough; it worked. Not that he’s agreed to the other part; that’s where I’ll need your help, Atherton. Let me tell you what my plan is.” He initially stated it straightforwardly; then he went over the details and explained it thoroughly, just as he had done at home. Atherton listened without showing any surprise, but his expression grew more serious, as if he was picking up on something unsaid in Halleck’s slow, somewhat nasal tone. At the end, he said, “I support any plan that will give you a break for a while. Yes, I’ll talk to your father about it.”
“If you think you need any conviction, I could use arguments to bring it about in you,” said Halleck, in recognition of his friend's ready concurrence.
“If you think you need any conviction, I could use some arguments to help you get there,” said Halleck, acknowledging his friend's quick agreement.
“No, I don't need any arguments to convince me, I believe,” returned Atherton.
“No, I don’t need any arguments to convince me; I believe,” Atherton replied.
“Then I wish you'd say something to bring me round! Unless argument is used by somebody, the plan always produces a cold chill in me.” Halleck smiled, but Atherton kept a sober face. “I wish my Spanish American was here! What makes you think it's a good plan? Why should I disappoint my father's hopes again, and wring my mother's heart by proposing to leave them for any such uncertain good as this scheme promises?” He still challenged his friend with a jesting air, but a deeper and stronger feeling of some sort trembled in his voice.
“Then I wish you'd say something to convince me! If no one argues for it, the idea always gives me a bad vibe.” Halleck smiled, but Atherton remained serious. “I wish my Spanish American friend was here! What makes you think this is a good plan? Why should I let my father down again and break my mother's heart by suggesting I leave them for some uncertain benefit this scheme offers?” He still teased his friend, but there was a deeper, stronger emotion in his voice.
Atherton would not reply to his emotion; he answered, with obvious evasion: “It's a good cause; in some sort—the best sort—it's a missionary work.”
Atherton didn't respond to his feelings; he replied, with clear avoidance: “It's a good cause; in a way—the best kind—it's a missionary effort.”
“That's what my mother said to me.”
"That's what my mom told me."
“And the change will be good for your health.”
“And the change will be good for your health.”
“That's what I said to my mother!”
“That's what I told my mom!”
Atherton remained silent, waiting apparently for Halleck to continue, or to end the matter there, as he chose.
Atherton stayed quiet, seemingly waiting for Halleck to go on or to wrap things up, depending on his preference.
It was some moments before Halleck went on; “You would say, wouldn't you, that my first duty was to my own undertakings, and to those who had a right to expect their fulfilment from me? You would say that it was an enormity to tear myself away from the affection that clings to me in that home of mine, yonder, and that nothing but some supreme motive, could justify me? And yet you pretend to be satisfied with the reasons I've given you. You're not dealing honestly with me, Atherton!”
It was a moment before Halleck continued, "You’d say, wouldn't you, that my top priority should be my own projects and to those who have a right to expect them to be completed? You’d say it’s outrageous to pull myself away from the love that surrounds me in my home over there, and that only some higher purpose could justify it? And yet you act like you're fine with the reasons I’ve shared. You’re not being honest with me, Atherton!"
“No,” said Atherton, keeping the same scrutiny of Halleck's face which he had bent upon him throughout, but seeming now to hear his thoughts rather than his words. “I knew that you would have some supreme motive; and if I have pretended to approve your scheme on the reasons you have given me, I haven't dealt honestly with you. But perhaps a little dishonesty is the best thing under the circumstances. You haven't told me your real motive, and I can't ask it.”
“No,” Atherton replied, maintaining the same intense focus on Halleck's face that he had throughout their conversation, but now appearing to perceive his thoughts more than his words. “I knew you must have some major reason for this; and if I've pretended to agree with your plan based on your explanations, I haven't been completely honest with you. But maybe a little dishonesty is the right call in this situation. You haven't revealed your true motive, and I can't ask you to.”
“But you imagine it?”
“But can you picture it?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“And what do you imagine? That I have been disappointed in love? That I have been rejected? That the girl who had accepted me has broken her engagement? Something of that sort?” demanded Halleck, scornfully.
“And what do you think? That I've been let down in love? That I've been turned down? That the girl who said yes to me has broken off our engagement? Something like that?” Halleck asked, sneering.
Atherton did not answer.
Atherton didn’t reply.
“Oh, how far you are from the truth! How blest and proud and happy I should be if it were the truth!” He looked into his friend's eyes, and added bitterly: “You're not curious, Atherton; you don't ask me what my trouble really is! Do you wish me to tell you what it is without asking?”
“Oh, you're so far from the truth! I would be so blessed, proud, and happy if it were true!” He looked into his friend's eyes and added bitterly, “You're not curious, Atherton; you don't ask me what my real trouble is! Do you want me to just tell you what it is without you asking?”
Atherton kept turning a pencil end for end between his fingers, while a compassionate smile slightly curved his lips. “No,” he said, finally, “I think you had better not tell me your trouble. I can believe very well without knowing it that it's serious—”
Atherton kept flipping a pencil between his fingers with a sympathetic smile on his lips. “No,” he said at last, “I think it’s best if you don’t share your troubles with me. I can imagine it’s serious without needing to know the details—”
“Oh, tragic!” said Halleck, self-contemptuously.
“Oh, tragic!” said Halleck, in self-loathing.
“But I doubt if it would help you to tell it. I've too much respect for your good sense to suppose that it's an unreality; and I suspect that confession would only weaken you. If you told me, you would feel that you had made me a partner in your responsibility, and you would be tempted to leave the struggle to me. If you're battling with some temptation, some self-betrayal, you must make the fight alone: you would only turn to an ally to be flattered into disbelief of your danger or your culpability.”
“But I doubt it would help you to share it. I have too much respect for your good judgment to think it's just an illusion; and I believe that confessing would only make you weaker. If you told me, you'd feel like you had made me part of your burden, and you’d be tempted to leave the fight to me. If you're dealing with some temptation or self-deception, you need to face it alone: you would only turn to a friend to be reassured that you're not in danger or at fault.”
Halleck assented with a slight nod to each point that the lawyer made. “You're right,” he said, “but a man of your subtlety can't pretend that he doesn't know what the trouble is in such a simple case as mine.”
Halleck nodded slightly to each point the lawyer made. “You’re right,” he said, “but someone as sharp as you can’t act like you don’t understand what the issue is in a case as straightforward as mine.”
“I don't know anything certainly,” returned Atherton, “and as far as I can I refuse to imagine anything. If your trouble concerns some one besides yourself,—and no great trouble can concern one man alone,—you've no right to tell it.”
“I don’t know anything for sure,” Atherton replied, “and as much as I can help it, I won’t imagine anything. If your problem involves someone other than yourself—and no serious issue affects just one person—you have no right to share it.”
“Another Daniel come to judgment!”
"Another Daniel comes to judge!"
“You must trust to your principles, your self-respect, to keep you right—”
“You have to rely on your values and your self-respect to guide you correctly—”
Halleck burst into a harsh laugh, and rose from his chair: “Ah, there you abdicate the judicial function! Principles, self-respect! Against that? Don't you suppose I was approached through my principles and self-respect? Why, the Devil always takes a man on the very highest plane. He knows all about our principles and self-respect, and what they're made of. How the noblest and purest attributes of our nature, with which we trap each other so easily, must amuse him! Pity, rectitude, moral indignation, a blameless life,—he knows that they're all instruments for him. No, sir! No more principles and self-respect for me,—I've had enough of them; there's nothing for me but to run, and that's what I'm going to do. But you're quite right about the other thing, Atherton, and I give you a beggar's thanks for telling me that my trouble isn't mine alone, and I've no right to confide it to you. It is mine in the sense that no other soul is defiled with the knowledge of it, and I'm glad you saved me from the ghastly profanation, the sacrilege, of telling it. I was sneaking round for your sympathy; I did want somehow to shift the responsibility on to you; to get you—God help me!—to flatter me out of my wholesome fear and contempt of myself. Well! That's past, now, and—Good night!” He abruptly turned away from Atherton and swung himself on his cane toward the door.
Halleck let out a harsh laugh and stood up from his chair. “Ah, there you go, giving up your role as judge! Principles, self-respect! Against that? Don’t you think I was approached through my principles and self-respect? The Devil always goes after a man at his highest point. He knows all about our principles and self-respect and what they’re made of. The noblest and purest parts of our nature, which we use to trap each other so easily, must really amuse him! Pity, righteousness, moral outrage, a spotless life—he knows they’re all tools for him. No, sir! No more principles and self-respect for me—I’ve had enough; all I can do is run, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. But you’re right about the other thing, Atherton, and I thank you for pointing out that my trouble isn’t mine alone and that I have no right to share it with you. It feels like mine in the sense that no one else is tainted with the knowledge of it, and I’m glad you kept me from the horrifying act of sharing it. I was looking for your sympathy; I did want to somehow shift the responsibility onto you; to get you—God help me!—to flatter me out of my healthy fear and contempt for myself. Well! That’s behind me now, and—Good night!” He abruptly turned away from Atherton and leaned on his cane as he headed for the door.
Atherton took up his hat and coat. “I'll walk home with you,” he said.
Atherton grabbed his hat and coat. “I’ll walk home with you,” he said.
“All right,” returned Halleck, listlessly.
"Okay," replied Halleck, absentmindedly.
“How soon shall you go?” asked the lawyer, when they were in the street.
“How soon are you leaving?” asked the lawyer, as they were on the street.
“Oh, there's a ship sailing from New York next week,” said Halleck, in the same tone of weary indifference. “I shall go in that.”
“Oh, there's a ship leaving from New York next week,” said Halleck, in the same tone of tired indifference. “I’m going to take that.”
They talked desultorily of other things.
They chatted aimlessly about other topics.
When they came to the foot of Clover Street, Halleck plucked his hand out of Atherton's arm. “I'm going up through here!” he said, with sullen obstinacy.
When they reached the bottom of Clover Street, Halleck pulled his hand away from Atherton's arm. “I’m going this way!” he said, with a stubborn defiance.
“Better not,” returned his friend, quietly.
“Better not,” his friend replied quietly.
“Will it hurt her if I stop to look at the outside of the house where she lives?”
“Will it hurt her if I take a moment to look at the outside of the house where she lives?”
“It will hurt you,” said Atherton.
“It’s going to hurt you,” said Atherton.
“I don't wish to spare myself!” retorted Halleck. He shook off the touch that Atherton had laid upon his shoulder, and started up the hill; the other overtook him, and, like a man who has attempted to rule a drunkard by thwarting his freak, and then hopes to accomplish his end by humoring it, he passed his arm through Halleck's again, and went with him. But when they came to the house, Halleck did not stop; he did not even look at it; but Atherton felt the deep shudder that passed through him.
“I don't care about holding back!” Halleck shot back. He shook off the touch that Atherton had put on his shoulder and started up the hill. Atherton caught up with him and, like someone trying to manage a drunk by resisting their wild behavior, hoping to succeed by playing along, he slipped his arm through Halleck's again and walked with him. But when they reached the house, Halleck didn't stop; he didn't even glance at it. Atherton sensed the deep shiver that ran through him.
In the week that followed, they met daily, and Halleck's broken pride no longer stayed him from the shame of open self-pity and wavering purpose. Atherton found it easier to persuade the clinging reluctance of the father and mother, than to keep Halleck's resolution for him: Halleck could no longer keep it for himself. “Not much like the behavior of people we read of in similar circumstances,” he said once. “They never falter when they see the path of duty: they push forward without looking to either hand; or else,” he added, with a hollow laugh at his own satire, “they turn their backs on it,—like men! Well!”
In the week that followed, they met every day, and Halleck's wounded pride no longer held him back from expressing his shame and uncertainty. Atherton found it easier to convince the hesitant father and mother than to maintain Halleck's determination for him: Halleck could no longer do it himself. “Not much like the way people act in similar situations,” he said once. “They never hesitate when they see what they should do: they move ahead without looking to either side; or else,” he added with a hollow laugh at his own irony, “they turn their backs on it—like real men! Well!”
He grew gaunt and visibly feeble. In this struggle the two men changed places. The plan for Halleck's flight was no longer his own, but Atherton's; and when he did not rebel against it, he only passively acquiesced. The decent pretence of ignorance on Atherton's part necessarily disappeared: in all but words the trouble stood openly confessed between them, and it came to Atherton's saying, in one of Halleck's lapses of purpose, from which it had required all the other's strength to lift him: “Don't come to me any more, Halleck, with the hope that I shall somehow justify your evil against your good. I pitied you at first; but I blame you now.”
He became thin and clearly weak. In this struggle, the roles of the two men switched. The plan for Halleck's escape was no longer his; it was Atherton's. When he didn’t resist it, he just accepted it passively. The pretense of ignorance on Atherton's part had to fade away: the issue was laid bare between them, and Atherton eventually said, during one of Halleck's moments of hesitation, from which it had taken all of Atherton's strength to pull him out: “Don’t come to me anymore, Halleck, hoping that I will somehow justify your bad actions against what is right. I felt sorry for you at first; but now I blame you.”
“You're atrocious,” said Halleck, with a puzzled, baffled look. “What do you mean?”
“You're terrible,” said Halleck, looking confused and bewildered. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that you secretly think you have somehow come by your evil virtuously; and you want me to persuade you that it is different from other evils of exactly the same kind,—that it is beautiful and sweet and pitiable, and not ugly as hell and bitter as death, to be torn out of you mercilessly and flung from you with abhorrence. Well, I tell you that you are suffering guiltily, for no man suffers innocently from such a cause. You must go, and you can't go too soon. Don't suppose that I find anything noble in your position. I should do you a great wrong if I didn't do all I could to help you realize that you're in disgrace, and that you're only making a choice of shames in running away. Suppose the truth was known,—suppose that those who hold you dear could be persuaded of it,—could you hold up your head?”
“I mean that you secretly believe you've somehow acquired your wrongdoing in a virtuous way; and you want me to convince you that it's different from other evils of the same nature—that it's beautiful and sweet and deserving of pity, and not hideous and bitter to be ripped out of you mercilessly and thrown away with disgust. Well, I’m telling you that you're suffering with guilt, because no one suffers innocently from such a situation. You need to go, and you can’t leave soon enough. Don't think I find anything noble about where you are. It would be a disservice to you if I didn't do everything I could to help you realize that you’re in disgrace, and that you're only choosing between different shames by trying to escape. Imagine if the truth were known—imagine if those who care about you could be convinced of it—could you still hold your head high?”
“Do I hold up my head as it is?” asked Halleck. “Did you ever see a more abject dog than I am at this moment? Your wounds are faithful, Atherton; but perhaps you might have spared me this last stab. If you want to know, I can assure you that I don't feel any melodramatic vainglory. I know that I'm running away because I'm beaten, but no other man can know the battle I've fought. Don't you suppose I know how hideous this thing is? No one else can know it in all its ugliness!” He covered his face with his hands. “You are right,” he said, when he could find his voice. “I suffer guiltily. I must have known it when I seemed to be suffering for pity's sake; I knew it before, and when you said that love without marriage was a worse hell than any marriage without love, you left me without refuge: I had been trying not to face the truth, but I had to face it then. I came away in hell, and I have lived in hell ever since. I had tried to think it was a crazy fancy, and put it on my failing health; I used to make believe that some morning I should wake and find the illusion gone. I abhorred it from the beginning as I do now; it has been torment to me; and yet somewhere in my lost soul—the blackest depth, I dare say!—this shame has been so sweet,—it is so sweet,—the one sweetness of life—Ah!” He dashed the weak tears from his eyes, and rose and buttoned his coat about him. “Well, I shall go. And I hope I shall never come back. Though you needn't mention this to my father as an argument for my going when you talk me over with him,” he added, with a glimmer of his wonted irony. He waited a moment, and then turned upon his friend, in sad upbraiding: “When I came to you a year and a half ago, after I had taken that ruffian home drunk to her—Why didn't you warn me then, Atherton? Did you see any danger?”
“Do I hold my head up as it is?” Halleck asked. “Did you ever see a more pathetic person than I am right now? Your words are honest, Atherton; but maybe you could have spared me this last blow. If you want to know, I can assure you I don’t feel any dramatic pride. I know I’m running away because I’ve been defeated, but no one else can understand the struggle I’ve faced. Don’t you think I realize how ugly this situation is? No one else can comprehend it in all its horror!” He covered his face with his hands. “You’re right,” he said, when he could finally speak. “I suffer with guilt. I must have known it when I pretended to suffer out of pity; I knew it before, and when you said that love without marriage is a worse hell than any marriage without love, you left me with no escape: I had been trying to avoid the truth, but I had to confront it then. I left in torment, and I’ve lived in torment ever since. I tried to convince myself it was just a crazy idea and blamed it on my failing health; I used to pretend that one morning I would wake up and find the illusion gone. I hated it from the start, just as I do now; it has been torture for me; yet somewhere deep within my lost soul—the darkest part, I’d say!—this shame has been so sweet, it is so sweet, the one sweetness of life—Ah!” He wiped the weak tears from his eyes, stood up, and buttoned his coat. “Well, I’m going to leave. And I hope I never come back. But you don’t have to mention this to my father as a reason for my leaving when you speak with him,” he added, with a hint of his usual sarcasm. He paused for a moment and then turned to his friend, sadly reproaching: “When I came to you a year and a half ago, after I brought that rogue home drunk to her—Why didn’t you warn me then, Atherton? Did you see any danger?”
Atherton hesitated: “I knew that, with your habit of suffering for other people, it would make you miserable; but I couldn't have dreamed this would come of it. But you've never been out of your own keeping for a moment. You are responsible, and you are to blame if you are suffering now, and can find no safety for yourself but in running away.”
Atherton hesitated: “I knew that with your tendency to take on the pain of others, it would make you unhappy; but I couldn’t have imagined this would come of it. But you’ve never been in anyone else’s care for a moment. You are responsible, and you’re to blame if you’re suffering now and can find no security for yourself except by running away.”
“That's true,” said Halleck, very humbly, “and I won't trouble you any more. I can't go on sinning against her belief in me here, and live. I shall go on sinning against it there, as long as I live; but it seems to me the harm will be a little less. Yes, I will go.”
“That's true,” Halleck said, quite humbly, “and I won't bother you anymore. I can't keep betraying her faith in me here and continue living. I’ll keep doing it over there for as long as I live, but it feels like the damage will be a little less. Yes, I will go.”
But the night before he went, he came to Atherton's lodging to tell him that he should not go; Atherton was not at home, and Halleck was spared this last dishonor. He returned to his father's house through the rain that was beginning to fall lightly, and as he let himself in with his key Olive's voice said, “It's Ben!” and at the same time she laid her hand upon his arm with a nervous, warning clutch. “Hush! Come in here!” She drew him from the dimly lighted hall into the little reception-room near the door. The gas was burning brighter there, and in the light he saw Marcia white and still, where she sat holding her baby in her arms. They exchanged no greeting: it was apparent that her being there transcended all usage, and that they need observe none.
But the night before he was set to leave, he went to Atherton's place to tell him he shouldn't go; Atherton wasn't home, so Halleck avoided that final embarrassment. He walked back to his dad's house through the light rain that was starting to fall, and as he let himself in with his key, he heard Olive's voice say, “It's Ben!” At the same time, she grabbed his arm nervously, warning him. “Hush! Come in here!” She pulled him from the dimly lit hallway into the small reception room near the door. The gas light was brighter there, and in the light, he saw Marcia, pale and still, sitting with her baby in her arms. They didn't greet each other; it was clear that her being there went beyond any social norms, and they didn't need to acknowledge it.
“Ben will go home with you,” said Olive, soothingly. “Is it raining?” she asked, looking at her brother's coat. “I will get my water-proof.”
“Ben will go home with you,” Olive said in a calming tone. “Is it raining?” she asked as she glanced at her brother's coat. “I'll grab my waterproof jacket.”
She left them a moment. “I have been—been walking—walking about,” Marcia panted. “It has got so dark—I'm—afraid to go home. I hate to—take you from them—the last—night.”
She left them for a moment. “I've been—walking—around,” Marcia panted. “It’s gotten so dark—I’m—afraid to go home. I hate to—take you away from them—the last—night.”
Halleck answered nothing; he sat staring at her till Olive came back with the water-proof and an umbrella. Then, while his sister was putting the waterproof over Marcia's shoulders, he said, “Let me take the little one,” and gathered it, with or without her consent, from her arms into his. The baby was sleeping; it nestled warmly against him with a luxurious quiver under the shawl that Olive threw round it. “You can carry the umbrella,” he said to Marcia.
Halleck didn't say anything; he just stared at her until Olive returned with the raincoat and an umbrella. Then, as his sister draped the raincoat over Marcia's shoulders, he said, “Let me hold the little one,” and took the baby from her arms, whether she liked it or not. The baby was asleep, snuggled comfortably against him with a cozy shiver under the shawl that Olive wrapped around it. “You can hold the umbrella,” he told Marcia.
They walked fast, when they got out into the rainy dark, and it was hard to shelter Halleck as he limped rapidly on. Marcia ran forward once, to see if her baby were safely kept from the wet, and found that Halleck had its little face pressed close between his neck and cheek. “Don't be afraid,” he said. “I'm looking out for it.”
They walked quickly as they stepped out into the rainy darkness, struggling to keep Halleck dry while he hurried along. Marcia dashed ahead once to check if her baby was protected from the rain and saw that Halleck had the little one’s face snug against his neck. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I've got it covered.”
His voice sounded broken and strange, and neither of them spoke again till they came in sight of Marcia's door. Then she tried to stop him. She put her hand on his shoulder. “Oh, I'm afraid—afraid to go in,” she pleaded.
His voice sounded shaky and weird, and neither of them said anything else until they saw Marcia's door. Then she tried to stop him. She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Oh, I'm scared—scared to go in,” she begged.
He halted, and they stood confronted in the light of a street lamp; her face was twisted with weeping. “Why are you afraid?” he demanded, harshly.
He stopped, and they faced each other under the light of a streetlamp; her face was distorted from crying. “Why are you scared?” he asked sharply.
“We had a quarrel, and I—I ran away—I said that I would never come back. I left him—”
“We had a fight, and I—I ran away—I said I would never come back. I left him—”
“You must go back to him,” said Halleck. “He's your husband!” He pushed on again, saying over and over, as if the words were some spell in which he found safety, “You must go back, you must go back, you must go back!”
“You have to go back to him,” Halleck said. “He's your husband!” He kept insisting, repeating the words like a mantra that brought him comfort, “You have to go back, you have to go back, you have to go back!”
He dragged her with him now, for she hung helpless on his arm, which she had seized, and moaned to herself. At the threshold, “I can't go in!” she broke out. “I'm afraid to go in! What will he say? What will he do? Oh, come in with me! You are good,—and then I shall not be afraid!”
He pulled her along with him now, as she clung helplessly to his arm, which she had grabbed, and moaned to herself. At the doorway, she exclaimed, “I can’t go in!” “I’m scared to go in! What will he say? What will he do? Oh, please come in with me! You’re nice,—and then I won’t be scared!”
“You must go in alone! No man can be your refuge from your husband! Here!” He released himself, and, kissing the warm little face of the sleeping child, he pressed it into her arms. His fingers touched hers under the shawl; he tore his hand away with a shiver.
“You have to go in by yourself! No one can shield you from your husband! Here!” He set himself free and, kissing the warm little face of the sleeping child, he placed it in her arms. His fingers brushed against hers under the shawl; he yanked his hand away with a shiver.
She stood a moment looking at the closed door; then she flung it open, and, pausing as if to gather her strength, vanished into the brightness within.
She stood for a moment staring at the closed door; then she swung it open, and, pausing as if to gather her strength, disappeared into the brightness inside.
He turned, and ran crookedly down the street, wavering from side to side in his lameness, and flinging up his arms to save himself from falling as he ran, with a gesture that was like a wild and hopeless appeal.
He turned and stumbled down the street, swaying from side to side due to his limp, throwing his arms up to catch himself from falling as he ran, in a way that resembled a frantic and desperate plea.
XXXIV.
Marcia pushed into the room where she had left Bartley. She had no escape from her fate; she must meet it, whatever it was. The room was empty, and she began doggedly to search the house for him, up stairs and down, carrying the child with her. She would not have been afraid now to call him; but she had no voice, and she could not ask the servant anything when she looked into the kitchen. She saw the traces of the meal he had made in the dining-room, and when she went a second time to their chamber to lay the little girl down in her crib, she saw the drawers pulled open, and the things as he had tossed them about in packing his bag. She looked at the clock on the mantel—an extravagance of Bartley's, for which she had scolded him—and it was only half past eight; she had thought it must be midnight.
Marcia walked into the room where she had left Bartley. She had no way to avoid her destiny; she had to face it, whatever it turned out to be. The room was empty, and she stubbornly searched the house for him, going up and down the stairs, holding the child with her. She wouldn’t have been scared to call out for him now; but she had no voice, and she couldn’t ask the servant anything when she peered into the kitchen. She noticed the remnants of the meal he had prepared in the dining room, and when she returned to their bedroom to lay the little girl down in her crib, she saw the drawers pulled open, and the items he had carelessly tossed around while packing his bag. She glanced at the clock on the mantel—an extravagant purchase by Bartley, which she had scolded him about—and it was only 8:30; she had thought it was midnight.
She sat all night in a chair beside the bed; in the morning she drowsed and dreamed that she was weeping on Bartley's shoulder, and he was joking her and trying to comfort her, as he used to do when they were first married; but it was the little girl, sitting up in her crib, and crying loudly for her breakfast. She put on the child a pretty frock that Bartley liked, and when she had dressed her own tumbled hair she went down stairs, feigning to herself that they should find him in the parlor. The servant was setting the table for breakfast, and the little one ran forward: “Baby's chair; mamma's chair; papa's chair!”
She sat in a chair next to the bed all night; in the morning, she dozed off and dreamed that she was crying on Bartley's shoulder, and he was teasing her and trying to comfort her, just like he used to when they were newlyweds. But it was the little girl, sitting up in her crib, crying loudly for her breakfast. She put the child in a cute dress that Bartley liked, and after fixing her own messy hair, she went downstairs, pretending to herself that they would find him in the living room. The servant was setting the table for breakfast, and the little one ran forward: “Baby's chair; mama's chair; papa's chair!”
“Yes,” answered Marcia, so that the servant might hear too. “Papa will soon be home.”
“Yes,” Marcia replied, making sure the servant could hear her too. “Dad will be home soon.”
She persuaded herself that he had gone as before for the night, and in this pretence she talked with the child at the table, and she put aside some of the breakfast to be kept warm for Bartley. “I don't know just when he may be in,” she explained to the girl. The utterance of her pretence that she expected him encouraged her, and she went about her work almost cheerfully.
She convinced herself that he had gone out for the night like before, and while pretending this, she talked with the child at the table and set aside some breakfast to keep warm for Bartley. “I’m not sure when he might be back,” she told the girl. The act of pretending she expected him back lifted her spirits, and she went about her work with a sense of cheerfulness.
At dinner she said, “Mr. Hubbard must have been called away, somewhere. We must get his dinner for him when he comes: the things dry up so in the oven.”
At dinner, she said, “Mr. Hubbard must have been called away somewhere. We need to get his dinner ready when he comes; the food dries out so much in the oven.”
She put Flavia to bed early, and then trimmed the fire, and made the parlor cosey against Bartley's coming. She did not blame him for staying away the night before; it was a just punishment for her wickedness, and she should tell him so, and tell him that she knew he never was to blame for anything about Hannah Morrison. She enacted over and over in her mind the scene of their reconciliation. In every step on the pavement he approached the door; at last all the steps died away, and the second night passed.
She put Flavia to bed early, then adjusted the fire and made the living room cozy in preparation for Bartley’s arrival. She didn’t hold it against him for staying away the night before; it was a deserved consequence for her wrongdoing, and she would tell him that, along with the fact that she knew he was never responsible for anything related to Hannah Morrison. She replayed the scene of their reconciliation in her mind over and over. With each step on the pavement, he got closer to the door; finally, all the footsteps faded, and the second night went by.
Her head was light, and her brain confused with loss of sleep. When the child called her from above, and woke her out of her morning drowse, she went to the kitchen and begged the servant to give the little one its breakfast, saying that she was sick and wanted nothing herself. She did not say anything about Bartley's breakfast, and she would not think anything; the girl took the child into the kitchen with her, and kept it there all day.
Her head felt light, and her mind was a bit hazy from lack of sleep. When the child called to her from upstairs, waking her from her morning haze, she went to the kitchen and asked the servant to give the little one its breakfast, saying that she was feeling sick and didn't want anything for herself. She didn’t mention anything about Bartley's breakfast, and she refused to think about it; the girl took the child into the kitchen with her and kept it there all day.
Olive Halleck came during the forenoon, and Marcia told her that Bartley had been unexpectedly called away. “To New York,” she added, without knowing why.
Olive Halleck came in the morning, and Marcia told her that Bartley had been unexpectedly called away. “To New York,” she added, not knowing why.
“Ben sailed from there to-day,” said Olive sadly.
“Ben sailed from there today,” Olive said sadly.
“Yes,” assented Marcia.
“Yeah,” agreed Marcia.
“We want you to come and take tea with us this evening,” Olive began.
“We want you to come and have tea with us this evening,” Olive started.
“Oh, I can't,” Marcia broke in. “I mustn't be away when Bartley gets back.” The thought was something definite in the sea of uncertainty on which she was cast away; she never afterwards lost her hold of it; she confirmed herself in it by other inventions; she pretended that he had told her where he was going, and then that he had written to her. She almost believed these childish fictions as she uttered them. At the same time, in all her longing for his return, she had a sickening fear that when he came back he would keep his parting threat and drive her away: she did not know how he could do it, but this was what she feared.
“Oh, I can't,” Marcia interrupted. “I shouldn’t be gone when Bartley gets back.” That thought was a solid anchor in the sea of uncertainty she found herself in; it was something she never let go of. She reinforced it with other fabrications, convincing herself that he had told her where he was going and then that he had written to her. She almost believed these childish lies as she said them. At the same time, while longing for his return, she felt a sickening fear that when he came back, he would follow through on his parting threat and push her away: she didn’t know how he could do it, but that was what she feared.
She seldom left the house, which at first she kept neat and pretty, and then let fall into slatternly neglect. She ceased to care for her dress or the child's; the time came when it seemed as if she could scarcely move in the mystery that beset her life, and she yielded to a deadly lethargy which paralyzed all her faculties but the instinct of concealment.
She rarely left the house, which at first she kept tidy and attractive, but then let fall into messy neglect. She stopped caring about her clothes or the child's; eventually, it felt like she could barely move within the confusion surrounding her life, and she gave in to a heavy lethargy that numbed all her abilities except for the instinct to hide.
She repelled the kindly approaches of the Hallecks, sometimes sending word to the door when they came, that she was sick and could not see them; or when she saw any of them, repeating those hopeless lies concerning Bartley's whereabouts, and her expectations of his return.
She pushed away the friendly advances of the Hallecks, sometimes sending word to the door when they arrived that she was sick and couldn’t see them; or when she did see any of them, she repeated those empty lies about Bartley’s whereabouts and her hopes for his return.
For the time she was safe against all kindly misgivings; but there were some of Bartley's creditors who grew impatient of his long absence, and refused to be satisfied with her fables. She had a few dollars left from some money that her father had given her at home, and she paid these all out upon the demand of the first-comer. Afterwards, as other bills were pressed, she could only answer with incoherent promises and evasions that scarcely served for the moment. The pursuit of these people dismayed her. It was nothing that certain of them refused further credit; she would have known, both for herself and her child, how to go hungry and cold; but there was one of them who threatened her with the law if she did not pay. She did not know what he could do; she had read somewhere that people who did not pay their debts were imprisoned, and if that disgrace were all she would not care. But if the law were enforced against her, the truth would come out; she would be put to shame before the world as a deserted wife; and this when Bartley had not deserted her. The pride that had bidden her heart break in secret rather than suffer this shame even before itself, was baffled: her one blind device had been concealment, and this poor refuge was possible no longer. If all were not to know, some one must know.
For a while, she felt safe from any kind thoughts; but some of Bartley's creditors were growing impatient with his long absence and weren’t satisfied with her lies. She had a few dollars left from some money her father had given her back home, and she paid those out to the first demand. Later, as more bills piled up, she could only respond with vague promises and excuses that hardly helped. The chase by these people scared her. It didn't bother her that some of them refused to give her any more credit; she would have known how to go hungry and cold for herself and her child. But one of them threatened her with legal action if she didn’t pay. She wasn't sure what he could do; she had read somewhere that people who didn't pay their debts ended up in prison, and if that disgrace was all she would be okay with it. But if the law came after her, the truth would come out; she would be humiliated in front of everyone as a deserted wife—especially when Bartley had *not* deserted her. The pride that made her heart break in secret rather than face this shame, even alone, was now confused: her only plan had been to keep things hidden, and that small refuge was no longer possible. If no one was to find out, someone had to know.
The law with which she had been threatened might be instant in its operation; she could not tell. Her mind wavered from fear to fear. Even while the man stood before her, she perceived the necessity that was upon her, and when he left her she would not allow herself a moment's delay.
The law she had been warned about could be enforced immediately; she couldn't be sure. Her mind shifted from one fear to another. Even as the man stood in front of her, she felt the pressure weighing on her, and once he left, she wouldn't let herself hesitate for a second.
She reached the Events building, in which Mr. Atherton had his office, just as a lady drove away in her coupé. It was Miss Kingsbury, who made a point of transacting all business matters with her lawyer at his office, and of keeping her social relations with him entirely distinct, as she fancied, by this means. She was only partially successful, but at least she never talked business with him at her house, and doubtless she would not have talked anything else with him at his office, but for that increasing dependence upon him in everything which she certainly would not have permitted herself if she had realized it. As it was, she had now come to him in a state of nervous exaltation, which was not business-like. She had been greatly shocked by Ben Halleck's sudden freak; she had sympathized with his family till she herself felt the need of some sort of condolence, and she had promised herself this consolation from Atherton's habitual serenity. She did not know what to do when he received her with what she considered an impatient manner, and did not seem at all glad to see her. There was no reason why he should be glad to see a lady calling on business, and no doubt he often found her troublesome, but he had never shown it before. She felt like crying at first; then she passed through an epoch of resentment, and then through a period of compassion for him. She ended by telling him with dignified severity that she wanted some money: they usually made some jokes about her destitution when she came upon that errand. He looked surprised and vexed, and “I have spent what you gave me last month,” she explained.
She arrived at the Events building, where Mr. Atherton had his office, just as a woman drove away in her coupe. It was Miss Kingsbury, who made it a point to handle all business matters with her lawyer at his office, keeping their social interactions entirely separate, or so she believed. She was only somewhat successful, but at least she never discussed business with him at her home, and she certainly wouldn’t have talked about anything else at his office if it hadn’t been for her growing dependence on him in every situation—something she wouldn’t have allowed herself if she’d realized it. As it was, she approached him in a state of nervous excitement that didn’t seem very professional. She had been very shaken by Ben Halleck's sudden breakdown; she had felt sympathy for his family to the point where she needed some form of consolation herself, which she anticipated would come from Atherton’s usual calm demeanor. She was unsure of how to respond when he welcomed her with what she interpreted as impatience and didn’t seem happy to see her. There was no reason for him to be glad to see a woman visiting for business, and he likely found her a hassle, but he had never shown it before. At first, she felt like crying; then she went through a phase of resentment, followed by a moment of compassion for him. She eventually told him with firm seriousness that she needed some money: they usually joked about her financial struggles when she came for that. He looked surprised and annoyed, and she added, “I’ve spent what you gave me last month.”
“Then you wish to anticipate the interest on your bonds?”
“Do you want to collect the interest on your bonds early?”
“Certainly not,” said Clara, rather sharply. “I wish to have the interest up to the present time.”
“Definitely not,” Clara replied, a bit sharply. “I want to calculate the interest up to now.”
“But I told you,” said Atherton, and he could not, in spite of himself, help treating her somewhat as a child, “I told you then that I was paying you the interest up to the first of November. There is none due now. Didn't you understand that?”
“But I told you,” said Atherton, and he couldn't help but treat her a bit like a child, “I told you back then that I was covering the interest up to the first of November. There’s nothing due right now. Didn’t you get that?”
“No, I didn't understand,” answered Clara. She allowed herself to add, “It is very strange!” Atherton struggled with his irritation, and made no reply. “I can't be left without money,” she continued. “What am I to do without it?” she demanded with an air of unanswerable argument. “Why, I must have it!”
“No, I don’t understand,” Clara replied. She added, “It’s really strange!” Atherton fought against his annoyance and didn’t respond. “I can’t be left without money,” she went on. “What am I supposed to do without it?” she insisted with an air of undeniable logic. “I have to have it!”
“I felt that I ought to understand you fully,” said Atherton, with cold politeness. “It's only necessary to know what sum you require.”
“I felt that I should understand you completely,” said Atherton, with a chilly politeness. “I just need to know how much you need.”
Clara flung up her veil and confronted him with an excited face. “Mr. Atherton, I don't wish a loan; I can't permit it; and you know that my principles are entirely against anticipating interest.”
Clara lifted her veil and faced him with an excited expression. “Mr. Atherton, I don't want a loan; I can't allow it; and you know that my principles are totally against expecting interest.”
Atherton, from stooping over his table, pencil in hand, leaned back in his chair, and looked at her with a smile that provoked her: “Then may I ask what you wish me to do?”
Atherton, after bending over his table with a pencil in hand, leaned back in his chair and looked at her with a challenging smile: “So, can I ask what you want me to do?”
“No! I can't instruct you. My affairs are in your hands. But I must say—” She bit her lip, however, and did not say it. On the contrary she asked, rather feebly, “Is there nothing due on anything?”
“No! I can't tell you what to do. My situation depends on you. But I have to say—” She bit her lip, though, and held back. Instead, she asked, a bit weakly, “Is there anything owed on anything?”
“I went over it with you, last month,” said Atherton patiently, “and explained all the investments. I could sell some stocks, but this election trouble has disordered everything, and I should have to sell at a heavy loss. There are your mortgages, and there are your bonds. You can have any amount of money you want, but you will have to borrow it.”
“I went over this with you last month,” Atherton said patiently, “and explained all the investments. I could sell some stocks, but the election issues have messed everything up, and I’d have to sell at a big loss. There are your mortgages and your bonds. You can get as much money as you need, but you'll have to borrow it.”
“And that you know I won't do. There should always be a sum of money in the bank,” said Clara decidedly.
“And you know I won’t do that. There should always be some money in the bank,” Clara said firmly.
“I do my very best to keep a sum there, knowing your theory; but your practice is against me. You draw too many checks,” said Atherton, laughing.
“I do my best to keep some money there, knowing your theory; but your practice is working against me. You write too many checks,” Atherton said, laughing.
“Very well!” cried the lady, pulling down her veil. “Then I'm to have nothing?”
“Fine!” the lady exclaimed, pulling down her veil. “So I get nothing?”
“You won't allow yourself to have anything,” Atherton began. But she interrupted him haughtily.
"You won't let yourself have anything," Atherton started. But she cut him off arrogantly.
“It is certainly very odd that my affairs should be in such a state that I can't have all the money of my own that I want, whenever I want it.”
“It’s definitely strange that my situation is such that I can't access all my money whenever I want.”
Atherton's thin face paled a little more than usual. “I shall be glad to resign the charge of your affair Miss Kingsbury.”
Atherton's thin face looked a bit paler than usual. “I’d be happy to step down from overseeing your situation, Miss Kingsbury.”
“And I shall accept your resignation,” cried Clara, magnificently, “whenever you offer it.” She swept out of the office, and descended to her coupé like an incensed goddess. She drew the curtains and began to cry. At her door, she bade the servant deny her to everybody, and went to bed, where she was visited a little later by Olive Halleck, whom no ban excluded. Clara lavishly confessed her sin and sorrow. “Why, I went there, more than half, to sympathize with him about Ben; I don't need any money, just yet; and the first thing I knew, I was accusing him of neglecting my interests, and I don't know what all! Of course he had to say he wouldn't have anything more to do with them, and I should have despised him if he hadn't. And now I don't care what becomes of the property: it's never been anything but misery to me ever since I had it, and I always knew it would get me into trouble sooner or later.” She whirled her face over into her pillow, and sobbed, “But I didn't suppose it would ever make me insult and outrage the best friend I ever had,—and the truest man,—and the noblest gentleman! Oh, what will he think of me?”
“And I will accept your resignation,” Clara exclaimed, grandly, “whenever you choose to offer it.” She stormed out of the office and got into her car like an angry goddess. She pulled the curtains and started to cry. At her door, she told the servant to deny her to everyone and went to bed, where she was soon visited by Olive Halleck, who was never turned away. Clara poured out her guilt and sadness. “Honestly, I went there, mostly to sympathize with him about Ben; I don't need any money right now; and before I knew it, I was blaming him for not taking care of my interests, and I don’t even know what else! Of course, he had to say he wouldn’t have anything further to do with them, and I would have looked down on him if he hadn’t. And now I don’t care what happens to the property: it’s only ever brought me misery since I’ve had it, and I always knew it would get me into trouble eventually.” She turned her face into her pillow and sobbed, “But I never thought it would make me insult and hurt the best friend I’ve ever had—the truest man—and the noblest gentleman! Oh, what will he think of me?”
Olive remained sadly quiet, as if but superficially interested in these transports, and Clara lifted her face again to say in her handkerchief, “It's a shame, Olive, to burden you with all this at a time when you've care enough of your own.”
Olive stayed silent, seemingly only mildly interested in these events, and Clara looked up to say into her handkerchief, “It's a shame, Olive, to put all this on you when you have enough to deal with already.”
“Oh, I'm rather glad of somebody else's care; it helps to take my mind off,” said Olive.
“Oh, I'm really glad to have someone else looking out for me; it keeps my mind off things,” said Olive.
“Then what would you do?” asked Clara, tempted by the apparent sympathy with her in the effect of her naughtiness.
“Then what would you do?” Clara asked, intrigued by the seemingly shared understanding of her mischief.
“You might make a party for him, Clara,” suggested Olive, with lack-lustre irony.
“You could throw a party for him, Clara,” Olive suggested, lacking any enthusiasm.
Clara gave way to a loud burst of grief. “Oh, Olive Halleck! I didn't suppose you could be so cruel!”
Clara broke down in a loud cry of sadness. “Oh, Olive Halleck! I didn't think you could be so heartless!”
Olive rose impatiently. “Then write to him, or go to him and tell him that you're ashamed of yourself, and ask him to take your property back again.”
Olive stood up, frustrated. “So just write to him, or go see him and tell him you’re sorry for what you did, and ask him to return your stuff.”
“Never!” cried Clara, who had listened with fascination. “What would he think of me?”
“Never!” shouted Clara, who had listened with great interest. “What would he think of me?”
“Why need you care? It's purely a matter of business!”
“Why do you care? It’s just business!”
“Yes.”
“Yep.”
“And you needn't mind what he thinks.”
“And you don’t have to worry about what he thinks.”
“Of course,” admitted Clara, thoughtfully.
"Sure," admitted Clara, thoughtfully.
“He will naturally despise you,” added Olive, “but I suppose he does that, now.”
“He will obviously look down on you,” added Olive, “but I guess he does that already.”
Clara gave her friend as piercing a glance as her soft blue eyes could emit, and, detecting no sign of jesting in Olive's sober face, she answered haughtily, “I don't see what right Mr. Atherton has to despise me!”
Clara shot her friend a sharp look with her gentle blue eyes and, seeing no hint of joking in Olive's serious expression, replied arrogantly, “I don't understand why Mr. Atherton thinks he has the right to look down on me!”
“Oh, no! He must admire a girl who has behaved to him as you've done.”
“Oh, no! He must be into a girl who has treated him like you have.”
Clara's hauteur collapsed, and she began to truckle to Olive. “If he were merely a business man, I shouldn't mind it; but knowing him socially, as I do, and as a—friend, and—an acquaintance, that way, I don't see how I can do it.”
Clara's arrogance faded, and she started to cater to Olive. “If he were just a businessman, I wouldn't be concerned; but since I know him socially, as I do, and as a—friend, and—an acquaintance, I just can't see how I can handle this.”
“I wonder you didn't think of that before you accused him of fraud and peculation, and all those things.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t consider that before you accused him of fraud and stealing, and all that stuff.”
“I didn't accuse him of fraud and peculation!” cried Clara, indignantly.
“I didn't accuse him of fraud and embezzlement!” Clara exclaimed, feeling outraged.
“You said you didn't know what all you'd called him,” said Olive, with her hand on the door.
“You said you didn't know what you’d called him,” Olive said, with her hand on the door.
Clara followed her down stairs. “Well, I shall never do it in the world,” she said, with reviving hope in her voice.
Clara followed her downstairs. “Well, I’ll never do it in the world,” she said, with renewed hope in her voice.
“Oh, I don't expect you to go to him this morning,” said Olive dryly. “That would be a little too barefaced.”
“Oh, I don't expect you to go to him this morning,” Olive said flatly. “That would be a little too bold.”
Her friend kissed, her. “Olive Halleck, you're the strangest girl that ever was. I do believe you'd joke at the point of death! But I'm so glad you have been perfectly frank with me, and of course it's worth worlds to know that you think I've behaved horridly, and ought to make some reparation.”
Her friend kissed her. “Olive Halleck, you are the weirdest girl ever. I really think you'd joke even when facing death! But I'm so glad you've been completely honest with me, and of course, it means a lot to know that you believe I've acted terribly and should make some kind of apology.”
“I'm glad you value my opinion, Clara. And if you come to me for frankness, you can always have all you want; it's a drug in the market with me.” She meagrely returned Clara's embrace, and left her in a reverie of tactless scheming for the restoration of peace with Mr. Atherton.
“I'm glad you appreciate my opinion, Clara. And if you want honesty from me, you can have as much as you need; it's something I have plenty of.” She weakly returned Clara's hug and left her deep in thought, scheming about how to restore peace with Mr. Atherton.
Marcia came in upon the lawyer before he had thought, after parting with Miss Kingsbury, to tell the clerk in the outer office to deny him; but she was too full of her own trouble to see the reluctance which it tasked all his strength to quell, and she sank into the nearest chair unbidden. At sight of her, Atherton became the prey of one of those fantastic repulsions in which men visit upon women the blame of others' thoughts about them: he censured her for Halleck's wrong; but in another instant he recognized his cruelty, and atoned by relenting a little in his intolerance of her presence. She sat gazing at him with a face of blank misery, to which he could not refuse the charity of a prompting question: “Is there something I can do for you, Mrs. Hubbard?”
Marcia walked in on the lawyer before he had a chance, after saying goodbye to Miss Kingsbury, to tell the clerk in the outer office to turn her away; but she was too caught up in her own problems to notice the reluctance he was struggling to hide, and she plopped down in the nearest chair without being invited. When he saw her, Atherton fell into one of those strange reactions where men blame women for what others think about them: he held her responsible for Halleck's mistake; but in a moment, he realized his cruelty and softened a bit in his annoyance at her being there. She sat staring at him with a face full of despair, and he couldn’t help but ask, “Is there something I can do for you, Mrs. Hubbard?”
“Oh, I don't know,—I don't know!” She had a folded paper in her hands, which lay helpless in her lap. After a moment she resumed, in a hoarse, low voice: “They have all begun to come for their money, and this one—this one says he will have the law of me—I don't know what he means—if I don't pay him.”
“Oh, I don't know—I just don’t know!” She had a folded paper in her hands, just lying useless in her lap. After a moment, she continued in a rough, quiet voice: “They all started coming for their money, and this one—this one says he’ll take legal action against me—I have no idea what he means—if I don’t pay him.”
Marcia could not know how hard Atherton found it to govern the professional suspicion which sprung up at the question of money. But he overruled his suspicion by an effort that was another relief to the struggle in which he was wrenching his mind from Miss Kingsbury's outrageous behavior. “What have you got there?” he asked gravely, and not unkindly, and being used to prompt the reluctance of lady clients, he put out his hand for the paper she held. It was the bill of the threatening creditor, for indefinitely repeated dozens of tivoli beer.
Marcia couldn’t understand how difficult it was for Atherton to manage the professional doubt that arose at the mention of money. But he pushed past his skepticism with an effort that offered him some relief from the turmoil he was experiencing due to Miss Kingsbury's outrageous behavior. “What do you have there?” he asked seriously but kindly, and since he was accustomed to coaxing reluctant female clients, he reached out for the paper she was holding. It was the bill from a persistent creditor for countless cases of Tivoli beer.
“Why do they come to you with this?”
“Why do they come to you with this?”
“Mr. Hubbard is away.”
“Mr. Hubbard is out.”
“Oh, yes. I heard. When do you expect him home?”
“Oh, yes. I heard. When do you think he’ll be back home?”
“I don't know.”
“I don't know.”
“Where is he?”
"Where's he?"
She looked at him piteously without speaking.
She looked at him sympathetically without saying anything.
Atherton stepped to his door, and gave the order forgotten before. Then he closed the door, and came back to Marcia. “Don't you know where your husband is, Mrs. Hubbard?”
Atherton walked over to his door and gave the order that had been forgotten earlier. Then he shut the door and returned to Marcia. “Don’t you know where your husband is, Mrs. Hubbard?”
“Oh, he will come back! He couldn't leave me! He's dead,—I know he's dead; but he will come back! He only went away for the night, and something must have happened to him.”
“Oh, he will come back! He couldn't leave me! He's dead—I know he's dead; but he will come back! He just went away for the night, and something must have happened to him.”
The whole tragedy of her life for the past fortnight was expressed in these wild and inconsistent words; she had not been able to reason beyond the pathetic absurdities which they involved; they had the effect of assertions confirmed in the belief by incessant repetition, and doubtless she had said them to herself a thousand times. Atherton read in them, not only the confession of her despair, but a prayer for mercy, which it would have been inhuman to deny, and for the present he left her to such refuge from herself as she had found in them. He said, quietly, “You had better give me that paper, Mrs. Hubbard,” and took the bill from her. “If the others come with their accounts again, you must send them to me. When did you say Mr. Hubbard left home?”
The whole tragedy of her life for the past two weeks was captured in these frantic and inconsistent words; she couldn't think beyond the sad absurdities they represented. They acted like statements strengthened by constant repetition, and she had probably told herself these things a thousand times. Atherton saw in them not just her confession of despair but also a plea for help, which would have been cruel to ignore. For now, he let her find some solace in them. He said calmly, “You should give me that paper, Mrs. Hubbard,” and took the bill from her. “If the others bring their bills again, you need to send them to me. When did you say Mr. Hubbard left home?”
“The night after the election,” said Marcia.
“The night after the election,” Marcia said.
“And he didn't say how long he should be gone?” pursued the lawyer, in the feint that she had known he was going.
“And he didn't say how long he would be gone?” the lawyer pressed on, pretending that she had known he was leaving.
“No,” she answered.
“No,” she replied.
“He took some things with him?”
“He took a few things with him?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“Perhaps you could judge how long he meant to be absent from the preparation he made?”
“Maybe you could figure out how long he planned to be gone based on the preparations he made?”
“I've never looked to see. I couldn't!”
“I've never looked to see. I can't!”
Atherton changed the line of his inquiry. “Does any one else know of this?”
Atherton shifted his line of questioning. “Does anyone else know about this?”
“No,” said Marcia, quickly, “I told Mrs. Halleck and all of them that he was in New York, and I said that I had heard from him. I came to you because you were a lawyer, and you would not tell what I told you.”
“No,” Marcia said quickly, “I told Mrs. Halleck and everyone that he was in New York, and I said I had heard from him. I came to you because you’re a lawyer, and you wouldn’t reveal what I told you.”
“Yes,” said Atherton.
“Yep,” said Atherton.
“I want it kept a secret. Oh, do you think he's dead?” she implored.
“I want it to be kept a secret. Oh, do you think he's dead?” she pleaded.
“No,” returned Atherton, gravely, “I don't think he's dead.”
“No,” Atherton replied seriously, “I don’t think he’s dead.”
“Sometimes it seems to me I could bear it better if I knew he was dead. If he isn't dead, he's out of his mind! He's out of his mind, don't you think, and he's wandered off somewhere?”
“Sometimes it feels like I could handle it better if I knew he was dead. If he’s not dead, he’s clearly lost it! He’s lost it, don’t you think, and he’s gone off somewhere?”
She besought him so pitifully to agree with her, bending forward and trying to read the thoughts in his face, that he could not help saying, “Perhaps.”
She pleaded with him so earnestly to agree with her, leaning in and trying to see what he was thinking, that he couldn’t help but say, “Maybe.”
A gush of grateful tears blinded her, but she choked down her sobs.
A rush of grateful tears filled her eyes, but she swallowed her sobs.
“I said things to him that night that were enough to drive him crazy. I was always the one in fault, but he was always the one to make up first, and he never would have gone away from me if he had known what he was doing! But he will come back, I know he will,” she said, rising. “And oh, you won't say anything to anybody, will you? And he'll get back before they find out. I will send those men to you, and Bartley will see about it as soon as he comes home—”
“I said things to him that night that were enough to drive him insane. I was always the one at fault, but he was always the one to apologize first, and he would never have left me if he understood what he was doing! But he will come back, I know he will,” she said, getting up. “And oh, you won't tell anyone, will you? And he'll be back before they find out. I’ll send those guys to you, and Bartley will take care of it as soon as he gets home—”
“Don't go, Mrs. Hubbard,” said the lawyer. “I want to speak with you a little longer.” She dropped again in her chair, and looked at him inquiringly. “Have you written to your father about this?”
“Don't leave, Mrs. Hubbard,” the lawyer said. “I need to talk to you a bit longer.” She sat back down in her chair and looked at him with curiosity. “Have you told your father about this?”
“Oh, no,” she answered quickly, with an effect of shrinking back into herself.
“Oh, no,” she quickly replied, seeming to pull back into herself.
“I think you had better do so. You can't tell when your husband will return, and you can't go on in this way.”
“I think you should do that. You never know when your husband will be back, and you can’t keep going like this.”
“I will never tell father,” she replied, closing her lips inexorably.
“I will never tell dad,” she said, sealing her lips firmly.
The lawyer forbore to penetrate the family trouble he divined. “Are you all alone in the house?” he asked.
The lawyer chose not to dig into the family issues he sensed. “Are you all alone in the house?” he asked.
“The girl is there. And the baby.”
“The girl is there. And the baby.”
“That won't do, Mrs. Hubbard,” said Atherton, with a compassionate shake of the head. “You can't go on living there alone.”
“That’s not going to work, Mrs. Hubbard,” Atherton said, shaking his head sympathetically. “You can’t continue living there by yourself.”
“Oh, yes, I can. I'm not afraid to be alone,” she returned with the air of having thought of this.
“Oh, yes, I can. I’m not afraid to be by myself,” she replied, as if she had just come up with the idea.
“But he may be absent some time yet,” urged the lawyer; “he may be absent indefinitely. You must go home to your father and wait for him there.”
“But he might be gone for a while,” the lawyer insisted; “he could be gone indefinitely. You need to go back home to your father and wait for him there.”
“I can't do that. He must find me here when he comes,” she answered firmly.
“I can’t do that. He needs to find me here when he comes,” she replied firmly.
“But how will you stay?” pleaded Atherton; he had to deal with an unreasonable creature who could not be driven, and he must plead. “You have no money, and how can you live?”
“But how will you stay?” Atherton pleaded; he had to handle an unreasonable person who couldn’t be pushed, and he had to beg. “You have no money, so how will you survive?”
“Oh,” replied Marcia, with the air of having thought of this too, “I will take boarders.”
“Oh,” replied Marcia, acting like she had thought of this too, “I will take in boarders.”
Atherton smiled at the hopeless practicality, and shook his head; but he did not oppose her directly. “Mrs. Hubbard,” he said earnestly, “you have done well in coming to me, but let me convince you that this is a matter which can't be kept. It must be known. Before you can begin to help yourself, you must let others help you. Either you must go home to your father and let your husband find you there—”
Atherton smiled at the futile practicality and shook his head; however, he didn’t directly oppose her. “Mrs. Hubbard,” he said earnestly, “you made a good choice by coming to me, but let me show you that this is something that can’t be hidden. It needs to be addressed. Before you can start helping yourself, you need to allow others to help you. You either have to go back home to your father and let your husband find you there—”
“He must find me here, in our own house.”
“He has to find me here, in our own home.”
“Then you must tell your friends here that you don't know where he is, nor when he will return, and let them advise together as to what can be done. You must tell the Hallecks—”
“Then you need to tell your friends here that you don’t know where he is or when he’ll be back, and let them figure out together what can be done. You have to tell the Hallecks—”
“I will never tell them!” cried Marcia. “Let me go! I can starve there and freeze, and if he finds me dead in the house, none of them shall have the right to blame him,—to say that he left me,—that he deserted his little child! Oh! oh! oh! oh! What shall I do?”
“I will never tell them!” shouted Marcia. “Let me go! I can starve and freeze there, and if he finds me dead in the house, none of them will have the right to blame him—to say that he left me—that he abandoned his little child! Oh! oh! oh! oh! What am I going to do?”
The hapless creature shook with the thick-coming sobs that overpowered her now, and Atherton refrained once more. She did not seem ashamed before him of the sorrows which he felt it a sacrilege to know, and in a blind instinctive way he perceived that in proportion as he was a stranger it was possible for her to bear her disgrace in his presence. He spoke at last from the hint he found in this fact: “Will you let me mention the matter to Miss Kingsbury?”
The unfortunate creature shook with deep, overwhelming sobs, and Atherton held back again. She didn’t seem ashamed in front of him about the pain that he felt was wrong to acknowledge, and instinctively he realized that the more of a stranger he was, the easier it was for her to face her disgrace in his presence. Finally, he spoke up based on this realization: “Can I bring this up with Miss Kingsbury?”
She looked at him with sad intensity in the eyes, as if trying to fathom any nether thought that he might have. It must have seemed to her at first that he was mocking her, but his words brought her the only relief from her self-upbraiding she had known. To suffer kindness from Miss Kingsbury would be in some sort an atonement to Bartley for the wrong her jealousy had done him; it would be self-sacrifice for his sake; it would be expiation. “Yes, tell her,” she answered with a promptness whose obscure motive was not illumined by the flash of passionate pride with which she added, “I shall not care for her.”
She looked at him with a sad intensity in her eyes, as if trying to understand any hidden thoughts he might have. At first, it probably seemed to her that he was making fun of her, but his words offered her the only relief from the self-criticism she’d experienced. Receiving kindness from Miss Kingsbury would somehow be a way to make amends to Bartley for the harm her jealousy had caused him; it would be a form of self-sacrifice for his benefit; it would be atonement. “Yes, tell her,” she replied quickly, her obscure motive illuminated by the flash of passionate pride with which she added, “I won’t care about her.”
She rose again, and Atherton did not detain her; but when she had left him he lost no time in writing to her father the facts of the case as her visit had revealed them. He spoke of her reluctance to have her situation known to her family, but assured the Squire that he need have no anxiety about her for the present. He promised to keep him fully informed in regard to her, and to telegraph the first news of Mr. Hubbard. He left the Squire to form his own conjectures, and to take whatever action he thought best. For his own part, he had no question that Hubbard had abandoned his wife, and had stolen Halleck's money; and the detectives to whom he went were clear that it was a case of European travel.
She got up again, and Atherton didn't stop her; but once she left, he quickly wrote to her father about what her visit had revealed. He mentioned her hesitation to let her family know about her situation, but assured the Squire that he didn’t need to worry about her for now. He promised to keep him updated about her and to send a telegram with any news about Mr. Hubbard. He let the Squire come to his own conclusions and take whatever actions he thought necessary. Personally, he had no doubt that Hubbard had abandoned his wife and had taken Halleck's money; the detectives he spoke to agreed it was a case of someone traveling abroad.
XXXV.
Atherton went from the detectives to Miss Kingsbury, and boldly resisted the interdict at her door, sending up his name with the message that he wished to see her immediately on business. She kept him waiting while she made a frightened toilet, and leaving the letter to him which she had begun half finished on her desk, she came down to meet him in a flutter of despondent conjecture. He took her mechanically yielded hand, and seated himself on the sofa beside her. “I sent word that I had come on business,” he said, “but it is no affair of yours,”—she hardly knew whether to feel relieved or disappointed,—“except as you make all unhappy people's affairs your own.”
Atherton went from the detectives to Miss Kingsbury and confidently ignored the barrier at her door, sending up his name with the message that he wanted to see her right away about something important. She kept him waiting while she nervously got ready, leaving the unfinished letter to him on her desk. She came down to meet him, filled with anxious thoughts. He took her hand, which she offered without thinking, and sat down on the sofa next to her. “I mentioned that I came for business,” he said, “but it’s not really your concern,”—she wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed,—“except for the fact that you make it your job to involve yourself in everyone else's problems.”
“Oh!” she murmured in meek protest, and at the same time she remotely wondered if these affairs were his.
“Oh!” she murmured quietly, and at the same time she vaguely wondered if these matters were his.
“I came to you for help,” he began again, and again she interrupted him in deprecation.
“I came to you for help,” he started again, and once more she cut him off, dismissively.
“You are very good, after—after—what I—what happened,—I'm sure.” She put up her fan to her lips, and turned her head a little aside. “Of course I shall be glad to help you in anything, Mr. Atherton; you know I always am.”
“You're really great, considering—considering—what I—what happened,—I'm sure.” She held her fan to her lips and turned her head slightly to the side. “Of course, I'll be happy to help you with anything, Mr. Atherton; you know I always am.”
“Yes, and that gave me courage to come to you, even after the way in which we parted this morning. I knew you would not misunderstand me”—
“Yes, and that gave me the confidence to approach you, even after how we left things this morning. I knew you wouldn't misinterpret my intentions”—
“No,” said Clara softly, doing her best to understand him.
“No,” Clara said softly, trying her best to understand him.
“Or think me wanting in delicacy—”
“Or think I'm lacking in sensitivity—”
“Oh, no, no!”
“Oh, no!”
“If I believed that we need not have any embarrassment in meeting in behalf of the poor creature who came to see me just after you left me. The fact is,” he went on, “I felt a little freer to promise your interest since I had no longer any business relation to you, and could rely on your kindness like—like—any other.”
“If I thought we shouldn’t feel awkward meeting for the sake of the poor person who came to see me right after you left. The truth is,” he continued, “I felt a bit more at ease to promise your support since I no longer had any business ties with you, and could depend on your kindness like—like—anyone else.”
“Yes,” assented Clara, faintly; and she forbore to point out to him, as she might fitly have done, that he had never had the right to advise or direct her at which he hinted, except as she expressly conferred it from time to time. “I shall be only too glad—”
“Yes,” Clara replied softly; and she held back from pointing out to him, as she could have, that he had never had the right to advise or direct her, as he suggested, unless she had explicitly given him that authority from time to time. “I will be more than happy—”
“And I will have a statement of your affairs drawn up to-morrow, and sent to you.” Her heart sank; she ceased to move the fan which she had been slowly waving back and forth before her face. “I was going to set about it this morning, but Mrs. Hubbard's visit—”
“And I will have a report on your situation prepared tomorrow and sent to you.” Her heart dropped; she stopped waving the fan that she had been slowly moving back and forth in front of her face. “I was going to start on it this morning, but Mrs. Hubbard's visit—”
“Mrs. Hubbard!” cried Clara, and a little air of pique qualified her despair.
“Mrs. Hubbard!” Clara called out, a slight hint of annoyance mixed with her despair.
“Yes; she is in trouble,—the greatest: her husband has deserted her.”
“Yes; she’s in trouble—the worst kind: her husband has left her.”
“Oh, Mr. Atherton!” Clara's mind was now far away from any concern for herself. The woman whose husband has deserted her supremely appeals to all other women. “I can't believe it! What makes you think so?”
Oh, Mr. Atherton! Clara's thoughts were now completely distant from any worries about herself. A woman whose husband has left her strongly resonates with all other women. “I can't believe it! Why do you think that?”
“What she concealed, rather than what she told me, I believe,” answered Atherton. He ran over the main points of their interview, and summed up his own conjectures. “I know from things Halleck has let drop that they haven't always lived happily together; Hubbard has been speculating with borrowed money, and he's in debt to everybody. She's been alone in her house for a fortnight, and she only came to me because people had begun to press her for money. She's been pretending to the Hallecks that she hears from her husband, and knows where he is.”
“What she kept hidden, rather than what she told me, I believe,” Atherton replied. He reviewed the main points of their interview and summarized his thoughts. “I can tell from things Halleck has mentioned that they haven't always had a happy marriage; Hubbard has been gambling with borrowed money, and he's in debt to everyone. She's been alone in her house for two weeks, and she only came to me because people have started pressuring her for money. She's been pretending to the Hallecks that she hears from her husband and knows where he is.”
“Oh, poor, poor thing!” said Clara, too shocked to say more. “Then they don't know?”
“Oh, you poor thing!” said Clara, too shocked to say anything else. “So they don’t know?”
“No one knows but ourselves. She came to me because I was a comparative stranger, and it would cost her less to confess her trouble to me than to them, and she allowed me to speak to you for very much the same reason.”
“No one knows but us. She came to me because I was somewhat of a stranger, and it was easier for her to share her troubles with me than with them, and she let me talk to you for pretty much the same reason.”
“But I know she dislikes me!”
“But I know she doesn't like me!”
“So much the better! She can't doubt your goodness—”
“So much the better! She can’t question your kindness—”
“Oh!”
“Oh!”
“And if she dislikes you, she can keep her pride better with you.”
“And if she doesn’t like you, she can maintain her pride better with you.”
Clara let her eyes fall, and fingered the edges of her fan. There was reason in this, and she did not care that the opportunity of usefulness was personally unflattering, since he thought her capable of rising above the fact. “What do you want me to do?” she asked, lifting her eyes docilely to his.
Clara lowered her gaze and fiddled with the edges of her fan. There was logic in this, and she didn’t mind that the chance to be helpful wasn’t exactly flattering for her personally, since he believed she could rise above it. “What do you want me to do?” she asked, raising her eyes obediently to his.
“You must find some one to stay with her, in her house, till she can be persuaded to leave it, and you must lend her some money till her father can come to her or write to her. I've just written to him, and I've told her to send all her bills to me; but I'm afraid she may be in immediate need.”
“You need to find someone to stay with her at her house until she can be convinced to leave, and you should lend her some money until her father can come or write to her. I've just sent him a letter, and I’ve told her to send all her bills to me; but I’m worried she might need help right away.”
“Terrible!” sighed Clara to whom the destitution of an acquaintance was appalling after all her charitable knowledge of want and suffering. “Of course, we mustn't lose a moment,” she added; but she lingered in her corner of the sofa to discuss ways and means with him, and to fathom that sad enjoyment which comfortable people find in the contemplation of alien sorrows. It was not her fault if she felt too kindly toward the disaster that had brought Atherton back to her on the old terms; or if she arranged her plans for befriending Marcia in her desolation with too buoyant a cheerfulness. But she took herself to task for the radiant smile she found on her face, when she ran up stairs and looked into her glass to see how she looked in parting with Atherton: she said to herself that he would think her perfectly heartless.
“Terrible!” Clara sighed, shocked by her acquaintance’s poverty, despite all her knowledge about want and suffering. “We need to act quickly,” she added, but she lingered in her corner of the sofa to brainstorm solutions with him and to explore that strange pleasure comfortable people get from watching others' pain. It wasn't her fault that she felt a bit fond of the disaster that had brought Atherton back to her in the same way as before, or that she planned to help Marcia through her hardship with too much cheerfulness. But she chastised herself for the wide smile she saw on her face when she ran upstairs to look in the mirror after saying goodbye to Atherton; she told herself he would think she was completely heartless.
She decided that it would be indecent to drive to Marcia's under the circumstances, and she walked; though with all the time this gave her for reflection she had not wholly banished this smile when she looked into Marcia's woe-begone eyes. But she found herself incapable of the awkwardnesses she had deliberated, and fell back upon the native motherliness of her heart, into which she took Marcia with sympathy that ignored everything but her need of help and pity. Marcia's bruised pride was broken before the goodness of the girl she had hated, and she performed her sacrifice to Bartley's injured memory, not with the haughty self-devotion which she intended should humiliate Miss Kingsbury, but with the prostration of a woman spent with watching and fasting and despair. She held Clara away for a moment of scrutiny, and then submitted to the embrace in which they recognized and confessed all.
She decided it would be inappropriate to drive to Marcia's given the situation, so she walked. Even with all the time for reflection, she couldn't completely shake off the smile when she looked into Marcia's sorrowful eyes. But she realized she couldn't bring herself to act awkwardly as she had planned, and instead leaned into her natural motherly instincts, offering Marcia a sympathy focused solely on her need for help and compassion. Marcia's wounded pride crumbled in the presence of the girl she had despised, and she made her sacrifice to Bartley's tarnished memory, not with the proud selflessness she had intended to use to humiliate Miss Kingsbury, but with the exhaustion of a woman worn down by watching, fasting, and despair. She held Clara back for a moment to examine her, then let herself be embraced, where they both acknowledged and admitted everything.
It was scarcely necessary for Clara to say that Mr. Atherton had told her; Marcia already knew that; and Clara became a partisan of her theory of Bartley's absence almost without an effort, in spite of the facts that Atherton had suggested to the contrary. “Of course! He has wandered off somewhere, and at soon as he comes to his senses he will hurry home. Why I was reading of such a case only the other day,—the case of a minister who wandered off in just the same way, and found himself out in Western New York somewhere, after he had been gone three mouths.”
It was hardly necessary for Clara to mention that Mr. Atherton had told her; Marcia already knew that. Clara quickly became a supporter of her theory about Bartley's absence, almost effortlessly, despite the fact that Atherton had suggested otherwise. “Of course! He must have wandered off somewhere, and as soon as he comes to his senses, he’ll rush home. I was just reading about a similar case the other day—a minister who wandered off in the same way and ended up somewhere in Western New York after being gone for three months.”
“Bartley won't be gone three months,” protested Marcia.
“Bartley won't be gone for three months,” Marcia protested.
“Certainly not!” cried Clara, in severe self-rebuke. Then she talked of his return for a while as if it might be expected any moment. “In the mean time,” she added, “you must stay here; you're quite right about that, too, but you mustn't stay here alone: he'd be quite as much shocked at that as if he found you gone when he came back. I'm going to ask you to let my friend Miss Strong stay with you; and she must pay her board; and you must let me lend you all the money you need. And, dear,”—Clara dropped her voice to a lower and gentler note,—“you mustn't try to keep this from your friends. You must let Mr. Atherton write to your father; you must let me tell the Hallecks: they'll be hurt if you don't. You needn't be troubled; of course he wandered off in a temporary hallucination, and nobody will think differently.”
“Definitely not!” Clara exclaimed, scolding herself. Then she spoke about his return for a bit as if it could happen at any moment. “In the meantime,” she added, “you have to stay here; you’re absolutely right about that, but you can’t be here alone: he would be just as shocked if he found you missing when he got back. I’m going to ask you to allow my friend Miss Strong to stay with you; she’ll need to pay her share of the expenses, and I’ll lend you any money you need. And, dear,”—Clara lowered her voice to a softer, gentler tone—“you shouldn’t try to hide this from your friends. You have to let Mr. Atherton write to your father; you have to let me inform the Hallecks: they’ll be hurt if you don’t. You shouldn’t worry; of course he just wandered off for a bit, and no one will think otherwise.”
She adopted the fiction of Bartley's aberration with so much fervor that she even silenced Atherton's injurious theories with it when he came in the evening to learn the result of her intervention. She had forgotten, or she ignored, the facts as he had stated them in the morning; she was now Bartley's valiant champion, as well as the tender protector of Marcia: she was the equal friend of the whole exemplary Hubbard family.
She embraced the idea of Bartley's mistake so passionately that she even silenced Atherton's hurtful theories when he came by in the evening to find out the outcome of her interference. She either forgot or chose to ignore the facts as he had presented them in the morning; she was now Bartley's brave defender, as well as Marcia's caring protector: she was a true friend to the entire admirable Hubbard family.
Atherton laughed, and she asked what he was laughing at.
Atherton laughed, and she asked what was so funny.
“Oh,” he answered, “at something Ben Halleck once said: a real woman can make righteousness delicious and virtue piquant.”
“Oh,” he replied, “at something Ben Halleck once said: a real woman can make righteousness appealing and virtue intriguing.”
Clara reflected. “I don't know whether I like that,” she said finally.
Clara thought for a moment. “I’m not sure if I like that,” she said at last.
“No?” said Atherton. “Why not?”
“No?” asked Atherton. “Why not?”
She was serving him with an after-dinner cup of tea, which she had brought into the drawing-room, and in putting the second lump of sugar into his saucer she paused again, thoughtfully, holding the little cube in the tongs. She was rather elaborately dressed for so simple an occasion, and her silken train coiled itself far out over the mossy depth of the moquette carpet; the pale blue satin of the furniture, and the delicate white and gold of the decorations, became her wonderfully.
She was serving him an after-dinner cup of tea, which she had brought into the living room, and as she added the second sugar cube to his saucer, she paused for a moment, holding the little cube with the tongs. She was dressed up more than necessary for such a simple occasion, and her silky train spread out over the soft, mossy carpet; the pale blue satin of the furniture and the delicate white and gold of the decor complemented her beautifully.
“I can't say, exactly. It seems depreciatory, somehow, as a generalization. But a man might say it of the woman he was in love with,” she concluded.
“I can't say for sure. It feels somewhat insulting as a broad statement. But a guy might say it about the woman he loves,” she finished.
“And you wouldn't approve of a man's saying it of the woman his friend was in love with?” pursued Atherton, taking his cup from her.
“And you wouldn't be okay with a guy saying that about the woman his friend loved?” Atherton continued, taking his cup from her.
“If they were very close friends.” She did not know why, but she blushed, and then grew a little pale.
“If they were really close friends.” She didn’t know why, but she felt herself blush, then turned a bit pale.
“I understand what you mean,” he said, “and I shouldn't have liked the speech from another kind of man. But Halleck's innocence characterized it.” He stirred his tea, and then let it stand untasted in his abstraction.
“I get what you're saying,” he said, “and I wouldn't have liked the speech from anyone else. But Halleck's innocence made it different.” He stirred his tea, then let it sit untouched as he drifted off into his thoughts.
“Yes, he is good,” sighed Clara. “If he were not so good, it would be hard to forgive him for disappointing all their hopes in the way he's done.”
“Yes, he is good,” sighed Clara. “If he wasn’t so good, it would be hard to forgive him for letting everyone down the way he has.”
“It's the best thing he could have done,” said Atherton gravely, even severely.
“It's the best thing he could have done,” Atherton said seriously, almost sternly.
“I know you advised it,” asserted Clara. “But it's a great blow to them. How strange that Mr. Hubbard should have disappeared the last night Ben was at home! I'm glad that he got away without knowing anything about it.”
“I know you suggested it,” Clara said firmly. “But it’s a huge shock to them. How odd that Mr. Hubbard disappeared the last night Ben was home! I’m relieved that he left without finding out anything about it.”
Atherton drank off his tea, and refused a second cup with a gesture of his hand. “Yes, so am I,” he said. “I'm glad of every league of sea he puts behind him.” He rose, as if eager to leave the subject.
Atherton finished his tea and waved off a second cup. “Yeah, me too,” he said. “I’m glad for every mile of sea he puts between us.” He got up, seeming eager to change the topic.
Clara rose too, with the patient acquiescence of a woman, and took his hand proffered in parting. They had certainly talked out, but there seemed no reason why he should go. He held her hand, while he asked, “How shall I make my peace with you?”
Clara stood up as well, with the calm acceptance of a woman, and took his outstretched hand as they prepared to part. They had definitely said everything they needed to say, but there seemed to be no reason for him to leave. He held her hand and asked, “How can I make things right with you?”
“My peace? What for?” She flushed joyfully. “I was the one in fault.”
“My peace? Why bother?” She blushed with happiness. “I was the one at fault.”
He looked at her mystified. “Why, surely, you didn't repeat Halleck's remark?”
He looked at her, confused. “Why, surely, you didn’t repeat Halleck’s comment?”
“Oh!” she cried indignantly, withdrawing her hand. “I meant this morning. It doesn't matter,” she added. “If you still wish to resign the charge of my affairs, of course I must submit. But I thought—I thought—” She did not go on, she was too deeply hurt. Up to this moment she had imagined that she had befriended Marcia, and taken all that trouble upon herself for goodness' sake; but now she was ready to upbraid him for ingratitude in not seeing that she had done it for his sake. “You can send me the statement, and then—and then—I don't know what I shall do! Why do you mind what I said? I've often said quite as much before, and you know that I didn't mean it. I want you to take my property back again, and never to mind anything I say: I'm not worth minding.” Her intended upbraiding had come to this pitiful effect of self-contempt, and her hand somehow was in his again. “Do take it back!”
“Oh!” she exclaimed angrily, pulling her hand away. “I meant this morning. It doesn’t matter,” she added. “If you still want to step away from managing my affairs, I guess I have to accept that. But I thought—I thought—” She didn't continue; she was too hurt. Until that moment, she had believed she had been a friend to Marcia and taken all that trouble upon herself out of kindness; but now she felt ready to scold him for being ungrateful for not recognizing that she had done it for him. “You can send me the statement, and then—and then—I don’t know what I will do! Why do you care about what I said? I’ve said just as much before, and you know I didn’t mean it. I want you to take my property back again, and don’t pay attention to anything I say: I’m not worth paying attention to.” Her intended scolding had turned into this sad expression of self-loathing, and somehow her hand was back in his. “Please take it back!”
“If I do that,” said Atherton, gravely, “I must make my conditions,” and now they sat down together on the sofa from which he had risen. “I can't be subjected again to your—disappointments,”—he arrested with a motion of his hand the profuse expression of her penitence and good intentions,—“and I've felt for a long time that this was no attitude for your attorney. You ought to have the right to question and censure; but I confess I can't grant you this. I've allowed myself to make your interests too much my own in everything to be able to bear it. I've thought several times that I ought to give up the trust; but it seemed like giving up so much more, that I never had the courage to do it in cold blood. This morning you gave me my chance to do it in hot blood, and if I resume it, I must make my terms.”
“If I do that,” Atherton said seriously, “I need to set my conditions,” and now they sat down together on the sofa he had just left. “I can't go through your—disappointments—again,”—he stopped her instinctive display of apology and good intentions with a wave of his hand,—“and I've felt for a long time that this isn't the right approach for your attorney. You should have the right to question and criticize; but honestly, I can't allow that. I've made your interests too much my own to handle it. I've thought several times about giving up the trust; but it felt like giving up so much more, that I never had the courage to do it in a calm moment. This morning you gave me the chance to do it in a heated moment, and if I take it back on, I have to set my terms.”
It seemed a long speech to Clara, who sometimes thought she knew whither it tended, and sometimes not. She said in a low voice, “Yes.”
It felt like a long speech to Clara, who occasionally thought she understood where it was going, and other times not. She replied softly, “Yes.”
“I must be relieved,” continued Atherton, “of the sense I've had that it was indelicate in me to keep it, while I felt as I've grown to feel—towards you.” He stopped: “If I take it back, you must come with it!” he suddenly concluded.
“I need to let go of the feeling I’ve had that it was inappropriate for me to hold onto it, considering how I’ve come to feel about you.” He paused. “If I give it back, you have to come with it!” he suddenly added.
The inconsistency of accepting these conditions ought to have struck a woman who had so long imagined herself the chase of fortune-hunters. But Clara apparently found nothing alarming in the demand of a man who openly acted upon his knowledge of what could only have been matter of conjecture to many suitors she had snubbed. She found nothing incongruous in the transaction, and she said, with as tremulous breath and as swift a pulse as if the question had been solely of herself, “I accept—the conditions.”
The inconsistency of accepting these terms should have surprised a woman who had spent so long thinking of herself as the target of fortune-seekers. But Clara seemed unbothered by the request of a man who was openly acting on what could only have been guesswork to many suitors she had dismissed. She saw nothing strange about the situation and said, with a shaky voice and a racing heart as if the question was only about her, “I accept—the conditions.”
In the long, happy talk that lasted till midnight, they did not fail to recognize that, but for their common pity of Marcia, they might have remained estranged, and they were decently ashamed of their bliss when they thought of misery like hers. When Atherton rose to bid Clara good night, Marcia was still watching for Bartley, indulging for the last time the folly of waiting for him as if she definitely expected him that night.
In the long, enjoyable conversation that went on until midnight, they acknowledged that, if it weren't for their shared sympathy for Marcia, they might have stayed distant from each other. They felt a modest shame about their happiness when they thought of someone like her suffering. When Atherton stood up to say goodnight to Clara, Marcia was still waiting for Bartley, holding on to the last bit of hope that he might show up that night.
Every night since he disappeared, she had kept the lights burning in the parlor and hall, and drowsed before the fire till the dawn drove her to a few hours of sleep in bed. But with the coming of the stranger who was to be her companion, she must deny herself even this consolation, and openly accept the fact that she no longer expected Bartley at any given time. She bitterly rebelled at the loss of her solitude, in which she could be miserable in whatever way her sorrow prompted, and the pangs with which she had submitted to Miss Kingsbury's kindness grew sharper hour by hour till she maddened in a frenzy of resentment against the cruelty of her expiation. She longed for the day to come that she might go to her, and take back her promises and her submission, and fling her insulting good-will in her face. She said to herself that no one should enter her door again till Bartley opened it; she would die there in the house, she and her baby, and as she stood wringing her hands and moaning over the sleeping little one, a hideous impulse made her brain reel; she wished to look if Bartley had left his pistol in its place; a cry for help against herself broke from her; she dropped upon her knees.
Every night since he went missing, she had kept the lights on in the living room and hallway, dozing by the fire until dawn forced her to get a few hours of sleep in bed. But with the arrival of the stranger who was supposed to be her companion, she had to deny herself even that comfort and accept the truth that she no longer expected Bartley to come back. She fiercely resented losing her solitude, where she could wallow in her grief however she chose, and the ache of having to tolerate Miss Kingsbury's kindness grew sharper with each passing hour until she was consumed by anger against the unfairness of her situation. She yearned for the day when she could confront Miss Kingsbury, take back her promises and submission, and throw her condescending goodwill back at her. She told herself that no one would step through her door until Bartley did; she would perish there in the house, along with her baby, and as she stood there wringing her hands and lamenting over the sleeping child, a horrifying thought made her head spin; she wanted to check if Bartley had left his gun in its place; a cry for help against herself escaped her lips; she dropped to her knees.
The day came, and the hope and strength which the mere light so strangely brings to the sick in spirit as well as the sick in body visited Marcia. She abhorred the temptation of the night like the remembrance of a wicked dream, and she went about with a humble and grateful prayer—to something, to some one—in her heart. Her housewifely pride stirred again: that girl should not think she was a slattern; and Miss Strong, when she preceded her small trunk in the course of the forenoon, found the parlor and the guest-chamber, which she was to have, swept, and dusted, and set in perfect order by Marcia's hands. She had worked with fury, and kept her heart-ache still, but it began again at sight of the girl. Fortunately, the conservatory pupil had embraced with even more than Miss Kingsbury's ardor the theory of Bartley's aberration, and she met Marcia with a sympathy in her voice and eyes that could only have come from sincere conviction. She was a simple country thing, who would never be a prima donna; but the overflowing sentimentality which enabled her to accept herself at the estimate of her enthusiastic fellow-villagers made her of far greater comfort to Marcia than the sublimest musical genius would have done. She worshipped the heroine of so tragic a fact, and her heart began to go out to her in honest helpfulness from the first. She broke in upon the monotony of Marcia's days with the offices and interests of wholesome commonplace, and exorcised the ghostly silence with her first stroke on the piano,—which Bartley had bought on the instalment plan and had not yet paid for.
The day arrived, and the hope and strength that the simple light so strangely brings to both the weary in spirit and the weary in body touched Marcia. She hated the temptation of the night like the memory of a bad dream, and she moved about with a humble and grateful prayer—to something, to someone—in her heart. Her pride in keeping her home clean was reignited: that girl should not think she was a slacker; and when Miss Strong came ahead of her small trunk later that morning, she found the parlor and the guest room, which she was to use, cleaned and organized perfectly by Marcia. Marcia had worked with fierce energy, suppressing her heartache, but it resurfaced the moment she saw the girl. Luckily, the conservatory student had embraced the theory of Bartley's mistake with even more enthusiasm than Miss Kingsbury, and she greeted Marcia with a sympathy in her voice and eyes that could only come from genuine belief. She was a simple country girl who would never be a star, but the overflowing sentimentality that allowed her to accept herself based on the opinions of her enthusiastic neighbors made her a much greater comfort to Marcia than the most brilliant musical genius could have been. She idolized the heroine of such a tragic story, and from the start, her heart began to reach out to Marcia with genuine kindness. She disrupted the monotony of Marcia's days with the duties and interests of everyday life, breaking the eerie silence with her first note on the piano—which Bartley had purchased on an installment plan and had not yet paid for.
In fine, life adjusted itself with Marcia to the new conditions, as it does with women less wofully widowed by death, who promise themselves reunion with their lost in another world, and suffer through the first weeks and days in the hope that their parting will be for but days or weeks, and then gradually submit to indefinite delay. She prophesied Bartley's return, and fixed it in her own mind for this hour and that. “Now, in the morning, I shall wake and find him standing by the bed. No, at night he will come in and surprise us at dinner.” She cheated herself with increasing faith at each renewal of her hopes. When she ceased to formulate them at last, it was because they had served their end, and left her established, if not comforted, in the superstition by which she lived. His return at any hour or any moment was the fetish which she let no misgiving blaspheme; everything in her of woman and of wife consecrated it. She kept the child in continual remembrance of him by talking of him, and by making her recognize the photographs in which Bartley had abundantly perpetuated himself; at night, when she folded the little one's hands for prayer, she made her pray God to take care of poor papa and send him home soon to mamma. She was beginning to canonize him.
In short, life adapted for Marcia to the new reality, just like it does for women who are less tragically widowed by death, who reassure themselves that they will reunite with their loved ones in another world. They endure the first days and weeks with the hope that their separation will last only days or weeks, slowly coming to terms with the indefinite wait. She envisioned Bartley's return, setting specific times in her mind for when he would come back. “Tomorrow morning, I’ll wake up and find him standing by the bed. No, he’ll come in at dinner and surprise us.” She lulled herself into believing with each renewed hope. Eventually, when she stopped articulating these hopes, it was because they had fulfilled their purpose, leaving her grounded, if not comforted, in the belief that guided her. His return at any moment became a sacred idea she wouldn’t let any doubt tarnish; everything in her as a woman and a wife honored that belief. She kept the child constantly reminded of him by talking about Bartley and showing her photos that he had taken of himself. At night, when she folded the little one’s hands for prayer, she had her pray for God to watch over poor papa and send him home soon to mama. She was starting to enshrine him.
Her father came to see her as soon as he thought it best after Atherton's letter; and the old man had to endure talk of Bartley to which all her former praises were as refreshing shadows of defamation. She required him to agree with everything she said, and he could not refuse; she reproached him for being with herself the cause of all Bartley's errors, and he had to bear it without protest. At the end he could say nothing but “Better come home with me, Marcia,” and he suffered in meekness the indignation with which she rebuked him: “I will stay in Bartley's house till he comes back to me. If he is dead, I will die here.”
Her father came to see her as soon as he thought it was the right time after Atherton's letter, and he had to listen to her talk about Bartley, which made all her previous compliments seem like slighting remarks. She insisted that he agree with everything she said, and he couldn't refuse; she blamed him for being the reason behind all of Bartley's mistakes, and he had to accept it without arguing. In the end, all he could say was, “You should just come home with me, Marcia,” and he quietly endured the anger with which she responded: “I will stay in Bartley's house until he comes back to me. If he is dead, I will die here.”
The old man had satisfied himself that Bartley had absconded in his own rascally right mind, and he accepted with tacit grimness the theory of the detectives that he had not gone to Europe alone. He paid back the money which Bartley had borrowed from Halleck, and he set himself as patiently as he could to bear with Marcia's obstinacy. It was a mania which must be indulged for the time, and he could only trust to Atherton to keep him advised concerning her. When he offered her money at parting, she hesitated. But she finally took it, saying, “Bartley will pay it back, every cent, as soon as he gets home. And if,” she added, “he doesn't get back soon, I will take some other boarders and pay it myself.”
The old man had convinced himself that Bartley had run off with his usual shady mindset, and he accepted with a silent bitterness the detectives' theory that he hadn't gone to Europe by himself. He reimbursed the money that Bartley had borrowed from Halleck, and he tried his best to deal with Marcia's stubbornness. It was a phase that had to be tolerated for now, and he could only rely on Atherton to keep him updated about her. When he offered her money at the end, she hesitated. But eventually, she took it, saying, “Bartley will pay it back, every cent, as soon as he gets home. And if,” she added, “he doesn’t come back soon, I’ll take in some other boarders and pay it myself.”
He could see that she was offended with him for asking her to go home. But she was his girl; he only pitied her. He shook hands with her as usual, and kissed her with the old stoicism; but his lips, set to fierceness by the life-long habit of sarcasm, trembled as he turned away. She was eager to have him go; for she had given him Miss Strong's room, and had taken the girl into her own, and Bartley would not like it if he came back and found her there.
He could tell she was upset with him for asking her to go home. But she was his girl; he just felt sorry for her. He shook hands with her like he always did and kissed her with his usual indifference; but his lips, hardened by a lifetime of sarcasm, shook as he turned away. She was anxious for him to leave because she had given him Miss Strong's room, moved the girl into her own space, and Bartley wouldn't be happy if he returned and found her there.
Bartley's disappearance was scarcely a day's wonder with people outside his own circle in that time of anxiety for a fair count in Louisiana and Florida, and long before the Returning Boards had partially relieved the tension of the public mind by their decision he had quite dropped out of it. The reporters who called at his house to get the bottom facts in the case, adopted Marcia's theory, given them by Miss Strong, and whatever were their own suspicions or convictions, paragraphed him with merciful brevity as having probably wandered away during a temporary hallucination. They spoke of the depression of spirits which many of his friends had observed in him, and of pecuniary losses, as the cause. They mentioned his possible suicide only to give the report the authoritative denial of his family; and they added, that the case was in the hands of the detectives, who believed themselves in possession of important clews. The detectives in fact remained constant to their original theory, that Bartley had gone to Europe, and they were able to name with reasonable confidence the person with whom he had eloped. But these were matters hushed up among the force and the press. In the mean time, Bartley had been simultaneously seen at Montreal and Cincinnati, at about the same time that an old friend had caught a glimpse of him on a train bound westward from Chicago.
Bartley's disappearance barely registered as a significant event for anyone outside his close circle during that time of anxiety over the election in Louisiana and Florida. Long before the Returning Boards eased the public's tension with their decisions, he had faded from the narrative entirely. Reporters who showed up at his home to uncover the facts adopted Marcia's theory, which Miss Strong had shared with them, and despite their own suspicions or beliefs, they summed him up briefly as someone who probably wandered off during a temporary mental break. They mentioned the sadness many of his friends had noticed in him and his financial troubles as potential reasons. They only referenced his possible suicide to include an official denial from his family, and they noted that the case was with the detectives, who believed they had important clues. In reality, the detectives stuck to their initial theory that Bartley had gone to Europe, and they could even name, with reasonable certainty, the person he had run away with. However, these details were kept under wraps among the police and the media. Meanwhile, Bartley was reportedly seen in both Montreal and Cincinnati around the same time an old friend spotted him on a train heading west from Chicago.
So far as the world was concerned, the surmise with which Marcia saved herself from final despair was the only impression that even vaguely remained of the affair. Her friends, who had compassionately acquiesced in it at first, waited for the moment when they could urge her to relinquish it and go home to her father; but while they waited, she gathered strength to establish herself immovably in it, and to shape her life more and more closely about it. She had no idea, no instinct, but to stay where he had left her till he came back. She opposed this singly and solely against all remonstrance, and treated every suggestion to the contrary as an instigation to crime. Her father came from time to time during the winter to see her, but she would never go home with him even for a day. She put her plan in force; she took other boarders: other girl students like Miss Strong, whom her friends brought her when they found that it was useless to oppose her and so began to abet her; she worked hard, and she actually supported herself at last in a frugal independence. Her father consulted with Atherton and the Hallecks; he saw that she was with good and faithful friends, and he submitted to what he could not help. When the summer came, he made a last attempt to induce her to go home with him. He told her that her mother wished to see her. She would not understand. “I'll come,” she said, “if mother gets seriously sick. But I can't go home for the summer. If I hadn't been at home last summer, he would never have got into that way, and it would never have happened.”
As far as the world was concerned, the belief that Marcia held onto to save herself from complete despair was the only impression that vaguely lingered from the situation. Her friends, who had initially sympathized with her, waited for the moment when they could persuade her to let it go and return to her father; but while they waited, she found the strength to firmly establish herself in it and increasingly shape her life around it. She had no idea, no instinct, other than to stay where he had left her until he returned. She resisted this idea fiercely against all objections and viewed every suggestion to the contrary as a push toward wrongdoing. Her father visited her occasionally throughout the winter, but she would never go home with him, not even for a day. She followed through with her plan; she took in other boarders: girl students like Miss Strong, whom her friends brought her when they realized it was pointless to fight against her and began to support her instead; she worked hard, and she ultimately managed to support herself in a modest independence. Her father consulted with Atherton and the Hallecks; he saw that she was in good and trustworthy company, and he accepted what he couldn’t change. When summer arrived, he made one last effort to convince her to come home with him. He told her that her mother wanted to see her. She wouldn’t hear of it. “I’ll come,” she replied, “if mom gets seriously sick. But I can't go home for the summer. If I hadn’t been home last summer, he would never have ended up like that, and it would never have happened.”
She went home at last, in obedience to a peremptory summons; but her mother was too far gone to know her when she came. Her quiet, narrow life had grown colder and more inward to the end, and it passed without any apparent revival of tenderness for those once dear to her; the funeral publicity that followed seemed a final touch of the fate by which all her preferences had been thwarted in the world.
She finally went home, following a demand she couldn't ignore; but her mother was too far gone to recognize her when she arrived. Her quiet, narrow life had become colder and more withdrawn over time, and it ended without any noticeable rekindling of affection for those who had once been close to her. The public nature of the funeral felt like a final blow from the fate that had continually thwarted all her desires in life.
Marcia stayed only till she could put the house in order after they had laid her mother to rest among the early reddening sumacs under the hot glare of the August sun; and when she came away, she brought her father with her to Boston, where he spent his days as he might, taking long and aimless walks, devouring heaps of newspapers, rusting in idleness, and aging fast, as men do in the irksomeness of disuse.
Marcia stayed only until she could get the house in order after they buried her mother among the early reddening sumacs under the hot August sun; and when she left, she took her father with her to Boston, where he spent his days however he could, taking long and aimless walks, reading piles of newspapers, wasting away in idleness, and aging quickly, like men do in the frustration of inactivity.
Halleck's father was beginning to show his age, too; and Halleck's mother lived only in her thoughts of him, and her hopes of his return; but he did not even speak of this in his letters to them. He said very little of himself, and they could merely infer that the experiment to which he had devoted himself was becoming less and less satisfactory. Their sense of this added its pang to their unhappiness in his absence.
Halleck's father was starting to show his age, and Halleck's mother only lived in her memories of him and her hopes for his return; but he didn't even mention this in his letters to them. He shared very little about himself, so they could only guess that the project he had thrown himself into was becoming less and less fulfilling. This realization only added to their sadness over his absence.
One day Marcia said to Olive Halleck, “Has any one noticed that you are beginning to look like your sisters?”
One day, Marcia said to Olive Halleck, “Has anyone noticed that you’re starting to look like your sisters?”
“I've noticed it,” answered the girl. “I always was an old maid, and now I'm beginning to show it.”
I’ve noticed that,” the girl replied. “I’ve always been an old maid, and now it’s starting to show.”
Marcia wondered if she had not hurt Olive's feelings; but she would never have known how to excuse herself; and latterly she had been growing more and more like her father in certain traits. Perhaps her passion for Bartley had been the one spring of tenderness in her nature, and, if ever it were spent, she would stiffen into the old man's stern aridity.
Marcia wondered if she had hurt Olive's feelings; but she would never have known how to apologize; and lately she had been becoming more and more like her father in some ways. Maybe her love for Bartley had been the only source of warmth in her character, and if it ever faded, she would harden into the old man's rigid coldness.
XXXVI.
It was nearly two years after Atherton's marriage that Halleck one day opened the door of the lawyer's private office, and, turning the key in the lock, limped forward to where the latter was sitting at his desk. Halleck was greatly changed: the full beard that he had grown scarcely hid the savage gauntness of his face; but the change was not so much in lines and contours as in that expression of qualities which we call looks.
It was almost two years after Atherton's wedding when Halleck one day opened the door to the lawyer's private office, and, turning the key in the lock, walked forward to where the lawyer was sitting at his desk. Halleck looked very different: the full beard he had grown barely concealed the harshness of his face; however, the change was more about the overall expression and qualities that we refer to as looks.
“Well, Atherton!”
“Well, Atherton!”
“Halleck! You!”
“Halleck! You!”
The friends looked at each other; and Atherton finally broke from his amaze and offered his hand, with an effect, even then, of making conditions. But it was Halleck who was the first to speak again.
The friends exchanged glances, and Atherton eventually snapped out of his shock and extended his hand, subtly implying there were conditions. But it was Halleck who spoke up first.
“How is she? Is she well? Is she still here? Have they heard anything from him yet?”
“How is she? Is she okay? Is she still around? Have they heard anything from him yet?”
“No,” said Atherton, answering the last question with the same provisional effect as before.
“No,” said Atherton, responding to the last question with the same tentative effect as before.
“Then he is dead. That's what I knew; that's what I said! And here I am. The fight is over, and that's the end of it. I'm beaten.”
“Then he is dead. That's what I knew; that's what I said! And here I am. The fight is over, and that's the end of it. I'm beaten.”
“You look it,” said Atherton, sadly.
“You look like it,” Atherton said, sadly.
“Oh, yes; I look it. That's the reason I can afford to be frank, in coming back to my friends. I knew that with this look in my face I should make my own welcome; and it's cordial even beyond my expectations.”
“Oh, yes; I look it. That's why I can afford to be straightforward when I come back to my friends. I knew that with this look on my face, I would create my own welcome, and it's even warmer than I expected.”
“I'm not glad to see you, Halleck,” said Atherton. “For your own sake I wish you were at the other end of the world.”
“I'm not happy to see you, Halleck,” said Atherton. “For your own good, I wish you were on the other side of the world.”
“Oh, I know that. How are my people? Have you seen my father lately? Or my mother? Or—Olive?” A pathetic tremor shook his voice.
“Oh, I know that. How are my people? Have you seen my dad lately? Or my mom? Or—Olive?” A weak tremor shook his voice.
“Why, haven't you seen them yet?” demanded Atherton.
“Why, haven’t you seen them yet?” asked Atherton.
Halleck laughed cynically. “My dear friend, my steamer arrived this morning, and I'm just off the New York train. I've hurried to your office in all the impatience of friendship. I'm very lucky to find you here so late in the day! You can take me home to dinner, and let your domestic happiness preach to me. Come, I rather like the notion of that!”
Halleck laughed cynically. “My dear friend, my steamer arrived this morning, and I just got off the New York train. I rushed to your office out of friendship. I'm really lucky to find you here so late in the day! You can take me home for dinner and let your domestic happiness inspire me. Come on, I actually like that idea!”
“Halleck,” said Atherton, without heeding his banter, “I wish you would go away again! No one knows you are here, you say, and no one need ever know it.”
“Halleck,” Atherton said, ignoring his teasing, “I really wish you would leave again! You say no one knows you’re here, and no one ever has to know.”
Halleck set his lips and shook his head, with a mocking smile. “I'm surprised at you, Atherton, with your knowledge of human nature. I've come to stay; you must know that. You must know that I had gone through everything before I gave up, and that I haven't the strength to begin the struggle over again. I tell you I'm beaten, and I'm glad of it; for there is rest in it. You would waste your breath, if you talked to me in the old way; there's nothing in me to appeal to, any more. If I was wrong—But I don't admit, any more, that I was wrong: by heaven, I was right!”
Halleck pressed his lips together and shook his head, a mocking smile on his face. “I’m surprised by you, Atherton, considering how well you know human nature. I’m here for good; you’ve got to know that. You should understand that I’ve been through it all before I gave up, and I just don’t have the strength to start that battle again. I’m telling you I’m defeated, and I’m fine with it; there's peace in that. It would be pointless for you to try to talk to me like before; there’s nothing left in me to connect with. If I was wrong—But I’m no longer admitting that I was wrong: I swear, I was right!”
“You are beaten, Halleck,” said Atherton sorrowfully. He pushed himself back in his chair, and clasped his hands together behind his head, as his habit was in reasoning with obstinate clients. “What do you propose to do?”
“You are beaten, Halleck,” Atherton said sadly. He leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his head, which was his usual way of dealing with stubborn clients. “What do you plan to do?”
“I propose to stay.”
"I'd like to stay."
“What for?”
"Why?"
“What for? Till I can prove that he is dead.”
“What for? Until I can prove that he’s dead.”
“And then?”
"What's next?"
“Then I shall be free to ask her.” He added angrily, “You know what I've come back for: why do you torment me with these questions? I did what I could; I ran away. And the last night I saw her, I thrust her back into that hell she called her home, and I told her that no man could be her refuge from that devil, her husband,—when she had begged me in her mortal terror to go in with her, and save her from him. That was the recollection I had to comfort me when I tried to put her out of my mind,—out of my soul! When I heard that he was gone, I respected her days of mourning. God knows how I endured it, now it's over; but I did endure it. I waited, and here I am. And you ask me to go away again! Ah!” He fetched his breath through his set teeth, and struck his fist on his knee. “He is dead! And now, if she will, she can marry me. Don't look at me as if I had killed him! There hasn't been a time in these two infernal years when I wouldn't have given my life to save his—for her sake. I know that, and that gives me courage, it gives me hope.”
“Then I can finally ask her.” He added angrily, “You know why I came back: why do you keep bothering me with these questions? I did what I could; I ran away. And on the last night I saw her, I pushed her back into that hell she called home, and I told her that no man could be her escape from that monster, her husband,—when she had begged me in her sheer terror to go in with her and save her from him. That is the memory I held onto when I tried to forget her,—forget her completely! When I heard he was gone, I respected her mourning period. God knows how I managed it, but I did; now it’s over. I waited, and here I am. And you ask me to leave again! Ah!” He caught his breath through clenched teeth and struck his fist on his knee. “He is dead! And now, if she wants to, she can marry me. Don’t look at me as if I killed him! There hasn’t been a moment in these past two terrible years when I wouldn’t have sacrificed my life to save his—for her sake. I know that, and that gives me courage; it gives me hope.”
“But if he isn't dead?”
“But what if he’s not dead?”
“Then he has abandoned her, and she has the right to be free: she can get a divorce!”
“Then he has left her, and she deserves to be free: she can get a divorce!”
“Oh,” said Atherton, compassionately, “has that poison got into you, Halleck? You might ask her, if she were a widow, to marry you; but how will you ask her, if she's still a wife, to get a divorce and then marry you? How will you suggest that to a woman whose constancy to her mistake has made her sacred to you?” Halleck seemed about to answer; but he only panted, dry-lipped and open-mouthed, and Atherton continued: “You would have to corrupt her soul first. I don't know what change you've made in yourself during these two years; you look like a desperate and defeated man, but you don't look like that. You don't look like one of those scoundrels who lure women from their duty, ruin homes, and destroy society, not in the old libertine fashion in which the seducer had at least the grace to risk his life, but safely, smoothly, under the shelter of our infamous laws. Have you really come back here to give your father's honest name, and the example of a man of your own blameless life, in support of conditions that tempt people to marry with a mental reservation, and that weaken every marriage bond with the guilty hope of escape whenever a fickle mind, or secret lust, or wicked will may dictate? Have you come to join yourself to those miserable spectres who go shrinking through the world, afraid of their own past, and anxious to hide it from those they hold dear; or do you propose to defy the world, to help form within it the community of outcasts with whom shame is not shame, nor dishonor, dishonor? How will you like the society of those uncertain men, those certain women?”
“Oh,” said Atherton, compassionately, “has that poison gotten to you, Halleck? You might ask her to marry you if she were a widow; but how will you ask her to get a divorce and then marry you if she's still a wife? How will you suggest that to a woman whose loyalty to her mistake has made her special to you?” Halleck looked like he was about to respond; but he just panted, his lips dry and mouth open, and Atherton continued: “You would have to corrupt her soul first. I don’t know what change you’ve gone through in these two years; you look like a desperate and defeated man, but you don't look like that. You don’t look like one of those scoundrels who lure women away from their duties, ruin homes, and destroy society, not in the old libertine way where the seducer at least had the courage to risk his life, but safely, smoothly, under the cover of our infamous laws. Have you really come back here to give your father's honest name, and the example of a man with your own blameless life, in support of conditions that tempt people to marry with a hidden agenda, and that weaken every marriage bond with the guilty hope of escape whenever a fickle mind, secret desire, or wicked will makes a suggestion? Have you come to join those miserable shadows who go through life, afraid of their own past and anxious to hide it from those they care about; or do you plan to defy the world, to help create a community of outcasts where shame isn't shame, nor dishonor, dishonor? How will you feel about the company of those uncertain men and those certain women?”
“You are very eloquent,” said Halleck, “but I ask you to observe that these little abstractions don't interest me. I've a concrete purpose, and I can't contemplate the effect of other people's actions upon American civilization. When you ask me to believe that I oughtn't to try to rescue a woman from the misery to which a villain has left her, simply because some justice of the peace consecrated his power over her, I decline to be such a fool. I use my reason, and I see who it was that defiled and destroyed that marriage, and I know that she is as free in the sight of God as if he had never lived. If the world doesn't like my open shame, let it look to its own secret shame,—the marriages made and maintained from interest, and ambition, and vanity, and folly. I will take my chance with the men and women who have been honest enough to own their mistake, and to try to repair it, and I will preach by my life that marriage has no sanctity but what love gives it, and that when love ceases marriage ceases, before heaven. If the laws have come to recognize that, by whatever fiction, so much the better for the laws!” Halleck rose.
“You’re really articulate,” Halleck said, “but I need you to understand that these little ideas don’t interest me. I have a clear purpose, and I can’t focus on how other people’s actions affect American society. When you tell me I shouldn’t try to save a woman from the misery that a villain has left her in, just because some judge gave him power over her, I refuse to be that naive. I think for myself, and I see who truly messed up that marriage, and I know she’s as free in the eyes of God as if he had never existed. If the world disapproves of my honesty, it should reflect on its own hidden failures—the marriages based on self-interest, ambition, vanity, and foolishness. I’ll stand with the men and women who are brave enough to admit their mistakes and try to fix them, and I will show through my life that marriage only holds value because of love, and when love fades, so does marriage in front of God. If the laws have come to accept that, no matter the pretense, then that’s good for the laws!” Halleck stood up.
“Well, then,” cried Atherton, rising, too, “you shall meet me on your own ground! This poor creature is constant in every breath she draws to the ruffian who has abandoned her. I must believe, since you say it, that you are ready to abet her in getting a divorce, even one of those divorces that are 'obtained without publicity, and for any cause,'”—Halleck winced,—“that you are willing to put your sisters to shame before the world, to break your mother's heart, and your father's pride,—to insult the ideal of goodness that she herself has formed of you; but how will you begin? The love on her part, at least, hasn't ceased: has the marriage?”
“Well, then,” shouted Atherton as he stood up, “you'll meet me on your own turf! This poor woman is devoted in every breath she takes to the jerk who left her. I have to believe, since you're saying it, that you're ready to help her get a divorce, even one of those divorces that are 'obtained without publicity, and for any cause,'”—Halleck flinched,—“that you're willing to shame your sisters in front of everyone, break your mother's heart, and damage your father's pride,—to insult the ideal of goodness that she has formed of you; but how will you start? The love on her side, at least, hasn't faded: has the marriage?”
“She shall tell me,” answered Halleck. He left Atherton without another word, and in resentment that effaced all friendship between them, though after this parting they still kept up its outward forms, and the Athertons took part in the rejoicings with which the Hallecks celebrated Ben's return. His meeting with the lawyer was the renewal of the old conflict on terms of novel and hopeless degradation. He had mistaken for peace that exhaustion of spirit which comes to a man in battling with his conscience; he had fancied his struggle over, and he was to learn now that its anguish had just begun. In that delusion his love was to have been a law to itself, able to loose and to bind, and potent to beat down all regrets, all doubts, all fears, that questioned it; but the words with which Marcia met him struck his passion dumb.
“She will tell me,” replied Halleck. He left Atherton without saying anything else, and the resentment that wiped out all friendship between them lingered, even though they continued to maintain its outward appearances. The Athertons joined in the celebrations when the Hallecks welcomed Ben back. His encounter with the lawyer reignited the old conflict under new and hopeless circumstances. He had mistaken the exhaustion of spirit that comes from wrestling with his conscience for peace; he thought his struggle was over, but he was about to discover that its pain had only just begun. In that misunderstanding, his love was supposed to be its own law, capable of releasing and binding, and strong enough to overcome all regrets, doubts, and fears that challenged it; but the words Marcia greeted him with silenced his passion.
“Oh, I am so glad you have come lack!” she said. “Now I know that we can find him. You were such friends with him, and you understood him so well, that you will know just what to do. Yes, we shall find him now, and we should have found him long ago if you had been here. Oh, if you had never gone away! But I can never be grateful enough for what you said to me that night when you would not come in with me. The words have rung in my ears ever since; they showed that you had faith in him, more faith than I had, and I've made them my rule and my guide. No one has been my refuge from him, and no one ever shall be. And I thank you—yes, I thank you on my bended knees—for making me go into the house alone; it's my one comfort that I had the strength to come back to him, and let him do anything he would to me, after I had treated him so; but I've never pretended it was my own strength. I have always told everybody that the strength came from you!”
“Oh, I’m so glad you’re back!” she said. “Now I know we can find him. You were such good friends with him, and you understood him so well that you’ll know exactly what to do. Yes, we’ll find him now, and we should have found him a long time ago if you had been here. Oh, if you had never left! But I can never thank you enough for what you told me that night when you wouldn’t come in with me. Your words have echoed in my mind ever since; they showed that you believed in him, more than I did, and I’ve made them my rule and my guide. No one has been my escape from him, and no one ever will be. And I thank you—yes, I thank you on my knees—for making me go into the house alone; it’s my only comfort that I had the strength to come back to him and let him do whatever he wanted to me after I had treated him so. But I’ve never claimed it was my own strength. I’ve always told everyone that the strength came from you!”
Halleck had brought Olive with him; she and Marcia's father listened to these words with the patience of people who had heard them many times before; but at the end Olive glanced at Halleck's downcast face with fond pride in the satisfaction she imagined they must give him. The old man ruminated upon a bit of broom straw, and absently let the little girl catch by his hands, as she ran to and fro between him and her mother while her mother talked. Halleck made a formless sound in his throat, for answer, and Marcia went on.
Halleck had brought Olive with him; she and Marcia's dad listened to these words with the patience of people who had heard them many times before; but at the end, Olive glanced at Halleck's downcast face with a sense of pride in the satisfaction she imagined they must give him. The old man pondered a piece of broom straw, and absently let the little girl grab his hands as she ran back and forth between him and her mom while her mom talked. Halleck made a vague sound in his throat in response, and Marcia continued.
“I've got a new plan now, but it seems as if father took a pleasure in discouraging all my plans. I know that Bartley's shut up, somewhere, in some asylum, and I want them to send detectives to all the asylums in the United States and in Canada,—you can't tell how far off he would wander in that state,—and inquire if any stray insane person has been brought to them. Doesn't it seem to you as if that would be the right way to find him? I want to talk it all over with you, Mr. Halleck, for I know you can sympathize with me; and if need be I will go to the asylums myself; I will walk to them, I will crawl to them on my knees! When I think of him shut up there among those raving maniacs, and used as they use people in some of the asylums—Oh, oh, oh, oh!”
“I have a new plan now, but it feels like my father takes pleasure in suppressing all my ideas. I know that Bartley is locked up somewhere in some asylum, and I want them to send detectives to every asylum in the United States and Canada—you can’t predict how far he might wander in that condition—and check if any lost insane person has been admitted. Don't you think that would be the best way to find him? I want to discuss this with you, Mr. Halleck, because I know you can understand my feelings; and if necessary, I will visit the asylums myself; I will walk there, I will crawl there on my knees! When I imagine him trapped among those raving maniacs and treated the way some asylums treat people—Oh, oh, oh, oh!”
She broke out into sobs, and caught her little girl to her breast. The child must have been accustomed to her mother's tears; she twisted her head round, and looked at Halleck with a laughing face.
She started crying and pulled her little girl close to her chest. The child must have been used to her mother's tears; she turned her head and looked at Halleck with a smiling face.
Marcia dried her eyes, and asked, with quivering lips, “Isn't she like him?”
Marcia wiped her tears and asked, her lips trembling, “Isn’t she just like him?”
“Yes,” replied Halleck huskily.
“Yes,” Halleck replied hoarsely.
“She has his long eyelashes exactly, and his hair and complexion, hasn't she?”
“She has his long eyelashes just like his, and she has his hair and skin tone, right?”
The old man sat chewing his broom straw in silence; but when Marcia left the room to get Bartley's photograph, so that Halleck might see the child's resemblance to him, her father looked at Halleck from under his beetling brows: “I don't think we need trouble the asylums much for Bartley Hubbard. But if it was to search the States prisons and the jails, the rum-holes and the gambling-hells, or if it was to dig up the scoundrels who have been hung under assumed names during the last two years, I should have some hopes of identifying him.”
The old man sat quietly chewing on his broom straw, but when Marcia stepped out of the room to get Bartley's photo so Halleck could see how much the child resembled him, her father glared at Halleck from beneath his bushy eyebrows: “I don't think we need to bother the asylums too much for Bartley Hubbard. But if it were about searching the state prisons and jails, the dive bars and gambling dens, or if it were about uncovering the scoundrels who have been hung under fake names in the last two years, I’d have some hope of identifying him.”
Marcia came back, and the old man sat in cast-iron quiet, as if he had never spoken; it was clear that whatever hate he felt for Bartley he spared her; and that if he discouraged her plans, as she said, it was because they were infected by the craze in which she canonized Bartley.
Marcia returned, and the old man sat in complete silence, as if he had never said a word; it was obvious that whatever resentment he had against Bartley, he withheld from her; and if he was against her plans, as she claimed, it was because they were tainted by her obsession with glorifying Bartley.
“You see how she is,” said Olive, when they came away.
“You see how she is,” Olive said when they walked away.
“Yes, yes, yes,” Halleck desolately assented.
“Yes, yes, yes,” Halleck said, feeling defeated.
“Sometimes she seems to me just like a querulous, vulgar, middle-aged woman in her talk; she repeats herself in the same scolding sort of way; and she's so eager to blame somebody besides Bartley for Bartley's wickedness that, when she can't punish herself, she punishes her father. She's merciless to that wretched old man, and he's wearing his homesick life out here in the city for her sake. You heard her just now, about his discouraging her plans?”
“Sometimes she seems to me just like a complaining, rude, middle-aged woman in how she talks; she keeps repeating herself in the same scolding manner; and she's so eager to blame someone other than Bartley for his wrongdoings that, when she can’t punish herself, she punishes her father. She's relentless to that poor old man, and he's wearing out his homesick life here in the city for her. Did you hear her just now, about him discouraging her plans?”
“Yes,” said Halleck, as before.
“Yes,” Halleck said, like before.
“She's grown commoner and narrower, but it's hardly her fault, poor thing, and it seems terribly unjust that she should be made so by what she has suffered. But that's just the way it has happened. She's so undisciplined, that she couldn't get any good out of her misfortunes; she's only got harm: they've made her selfish, and there seems to be nothing left of what she was two years ago but her devotion to that miserable wretch. You mustn't let it turn you against her, Ben; you mustn't forget what she might have been. She had a rich nature; but how it's been wasted, and turned back upon itself! Poor, untrained, impulsive, innocent creature,—my heart aches for her! It's been hard to bear with her at times, terribly hard, and you'll find it so, Ben. But you must bear with her. The awfulest thing about people in trouble is that they are such bores; they tire you to death. But you'll only have to stand her praises of what Bartley was, and we had to stand them, and her hopes of what you would be if you were only at home, besides. I don't know what all she expects of you; but you must try not to disappoint her; she worships the ground you tread on, and I really think she believes you can do anything you will, just because you're good.”
“She's become more ordinary and narrower in her view, but it’s really not her fault, poor thing, and it feels incredibly unfair that her suffering has led to this. But that’s just how it is. She's so undisciplined that she hasn't gained anything positive from her hardships; all she's gotten is negativity: they’ve made her selfish, and it seems like the only thing left of who she was two years ago is her devotion to that miserable person. You shouldn't let this make you turn against her, Ben; you need to remember what she could have been. She had a rich character, but it’s all been wasted and turned inwards! Poor, untrained, impulsive, innocent soul—my heart breaks for her! It’s been tough to deal with her at times, really tough, and you’ll find that to be true, Ben. But you must be patient with her. The worst thing about people in trouble is that they can be such drags; they can wear you out. But you’ll just have to endure her praise of what Bartley was, and we had to listen to that, along with her hopes of who you could be if only you were home. I’m not sure what she expects from you, but try not to let her down; she idolizes you and honestly believes you can achieve anything you set your mind to, simply because you’re kind.”
Halleck listened in silence. He was indeed helpless to be otherwise than constant. With shame and grief in his heart, he could only vow her there the greater fealty because of the change he found in her.
Halleck listened quietly. He really couldn't do anything but remain loyal. With shame and sadness in his heart, he could only promise her even more loyalty because of the change he noticed in her.
He was doomed at every meeting to hear her glorify a man whom he believed a heartless traitor, to plot with her for the rescue from imaginary captivity of the wretch who had cruelly forsaken her. He actually took some of the steps she urged; he addressed inquiries to the insane asylums, far and near; and in these futile endeavors, made only with the desire of failure, his own reason seemed sometimes to waver. She insisted that Atherton should know all the steps they were taking; and his sense of his old friend's exact and perfect knowledge of his motives was a keener torture than even her father's silent scorn of his efforts, or the worship in which his own family held him for them.
He was stuck at every meeting listening to her praise a man he thought was a cold-hearted traitor, scheming with her to rescue the pathetic guy who had heartlessly abandoned her. He even followed through on some of her suggestions; he reached out to mental hospitals near and far. In these pointless attempts, made only because he secretly wanted to fail, his own sanity sometimes felt like it was slipping away. She pushed for Atherton to be aware of all their actions, and knowing that his old friend understood his true motives was a sharper pain than even her father's silent disdain for his efforts or the admiration his own family had for him because of them.
XXXVII.
Halleck had come home in broken health, and had promised his family, with the self-contempt that depraves, not to go away again, since the change had done him no good. There was no talk for the present of his trying to do anything but to get well; and for a while, under the strong excitement, he seemed to be better. But suddenly he failed; he kept his room, and then he kept his bed; and the weeks stretched into months before he left it.
Halleck returned home in poor health, and with a sense of self-disgust, he promised his family not to leave again, as the change hadn’t helped him. For now, there was no discussion of him trying to do anything other than recover; and for a time, fueled by strong motivation, he appeared to improve. But then, out of nowhere, he deteriorated; he stayed in his room, and eventually, he was confined to his bed. Weeks turned into months before he finally got up.
When the spring weather came, he was able to go out again, and he spent most of his time in the open air, feeling every day a fresh accession of strength. At the end of one long April afternoon, he walked home with a light heart, whose right to rejoice he would not let his conscience question. He had met Marcia in the Public Garden, where they sat down on a bench and talked, while her father and the little girl wandered away in the restlessness of age and the restlessness of childhood.
When spring arrived, he was able to go outside again, and he spent most of his time outdoors, feeling stronger every day. At the end of a long April afternoon, he walked home with a light heart, not allowing his conscience to question his right to be happy. He had run into Marcia in the Public Garden, where they sat on a bench and talked while her father and the little girl wandered off, caught up in the restlessness of old age and childhood.
“We are going home to Equity this summer,” she said, “and perhaps we shall not come back. No, we shall not come back. I have given up. I have waited, hoping—hoping. But now I know that it is no use waiting any longer: he is dead.” She spoke in tearless resignation, and the peace of accepted widowhood seemed to diffuse itself around her.
“We're going home to Equity this summer,” she said, “and maybe we won't come back. No, we definitely won't come back. I have given up. I waited, hoping—hoping. But now I know that waiting any longer is pointless: he is dead.” She spoke with tearless acceptance, and the calm of accepted widowhood seemed to surround her.
Her words repeated themselves to Halleck, as he walked homeward. He found the postman at the door with a newspaper, which he took from him with a smile at its veteran appearance, and its probable adventures in reaching him. The wrapper seemed to have been several times slipped off, and then slit up; it was tied with a string, now, and was scribbled with rejections in the hands of various Hallocks and Halletts, one of whom had finally indorsed upon it, “Try 97 Rumford Street.” It was originally addressed, as he made out, to “Mr. B. Halleck, Boston, Mass.,” and he carried it to his room before he opened it, with a careless surmise as to its interest for him. It proved to be a flimsy, shabbily printed country newspaper, with an advertisement marked in one corner.
Her words echoed in Halleck's mind as he walked home. He found the postman at the door with a newspaper. He took it from him, smiling at its worn appearance and the likely journey it had taken to get to him. The wrapper looked like it had been opened several times, then slashed, and it was now tied with a string, covered in rejections from various Hallocks and Halletts. One of them had finally written on it, “Try 97 Rumford Street.” It was originally addressed to “Mr. B. Halleck, Boston, Mass.,” and he carried it to his room before opening it, casually wondering what it might hold for him. It turned out to be a flimsy, poorly printed country newspaper, with an advertisement marked in one corner.
State of Indiana, Tecumseh County In Tecumseh Circuit Court, April Term, 1879. BARTLEY J. HUBBARD vs. MARCIA G. HUBBARD. Divorce. No. 5793. It appearing by affidavit this day filed in the office of the Clerk of the Tecumseh Circuit Court, that Marcia G. Hubbard, defendant in the above entitled action for divorce on account of abandonment and gross neglect of duty, is a non-resident of the State of Indiana, notice of the pendency of such action is therefore hereby given said defendant above named, and that the same will be called for answer on the 11th day of April, 1879, the same being the 3d judicial day of the April term of said court, for said year, which said term of said court will begin on the first Monday in April, 1879, and will be held at the Court House, in the town of Tecumseh, in said County and State, said 11th day of April, 1879, being the time fixed by said plaintiff by indorsement on his complaint, at which said time said defendant is required to answer herein. Witness my hand and the seal of the said Court, this 4th day of March, 1879. AUGUSTUS H. HAWKINS, Clerk. SEAL Milikin & Ayres, Att'ys for Plff.
State of Indiana, Tecumseh County In Tecumseh Circuit Court, April Term, 1879. BARTLEY J. HUBBARD vs. MARCIA G. HUBBARD. Divorce. No. 5793. An affidavit filed today in the Clerk's office of the Tecumseh Circuit Court shows that Marcia G. Hubbard, the defendant in this divorce case due to abandonment and gross neglect of duty, does not live in the State of Indiana. Therefore, notice is hereby given to the defendant named above that this case will be called for a response on April 11, 1879, which is the 3rd judicial day of the April term of this court for that year. This term of court will start on the first Monday in April, 1879, and will take place at the Court House in the town of Tecumseh, in this County and State. The date of April 11, 1879, was set by the plaintiff on his complaint, and the defendant is required to respond by then. Witness my hand and the seal of this Court, this 4th day of March, 1879. AUGUSTUS H. HAWKINS, Clerk. SEAL Milikin & Ayres, Att'ys for Plff.
Halleck read this advertisement again and again, with a dull, mechanical action of the brain. He saw the familiar names, but they were hopelessly estranged by their present relation to each other; the legal jargon reached no intelligence in him that could grasp its purport.
Halleck read this ad over and over, with a dull, robotic focus. He recognized the familiar names, but they felt completely disconnected from each other; the legal jargon didn’t register with him in a way that made sense.
When his daze began to yield, he took evidence of his own reality by some such tests as one might in waking from a long faint. He looked at his hands, his feet; he rose and looked at his face in the glass. Turning about, he saw the paper where he had left it on the table; it was no illusion. He picked up the cover from the floor, and scanned it anew, trying to remember the handwriting on it, to make out who had sent this paper to him, and why. Then the address seemed to grow into something different under his eye: it ceased to be his name; he saw now that the paper was directed to Mrs. B. Hubbard, and that by a series of accidents and errors it had failed to reach her in its wanderings, and by a final blunder had fallen into his hands.
When his confusion started to fade, he confirmed his own reality with some tests similar to what one might do after waking from a long faint. He looked at his hands, his feet; he stood up and checked his face in the mirror. Turning around, he saw the paper exactly where he had left it on the table; it was no illusion. He picked up the cover from the floor and looked it over again, trying to remember the handwriting on it, figuring out who had sent this paper to him and why. Then the address seemed to change before his eyes: it stopped being his name; he realized that the paper was actually addressed to Mrs. B. Hubbard, and that due to a series of accidents and mistakes, it had failed to reach her during its journey, ultimately ending up in his hands by a final error.
Once solved, it was a very simple affair, and he had now but to carry it to her; that was very simple, too. Or he might destroy it; this was equally simple. Her words repeated themselves once more: “I have given up. He is dead.” Why should he break the peace she had found, and destroy her last sad illusion? Why should he not spare her the knowledge of this final wrong, and let the merciful injustice accomplish itself? The questions seemed scarcely to have any personal concern for Halleck; his temptation wore a heavenly aspect. It softly pleaded with him to forbear, like something outside of himself. It was when he began to resist it that he found it the breath in his nostrils, the blood in his veins. Then the mask dropped, and the enemy of souls put forth his power against this weak spirit, enfeebled by long strife and defeat already acknowledged.
Once he figured it out, it was pretty straightforward, and all he had to do now was take it to her; that was simple too. Or he could destroy it; that was equally easy. Her words echoed in his mind again: “I have given up. He is dead.” Why should he disrupt the peace she had found and shatter her last sad hope? Why not spare her from knowing this final hurt and let the cruel kindness play out? These questions didn’t seem to relate much to Halleck personally; the temptation felt almost divine. It gently urged him to hold back, like something beyond himself. It was only when he began to fight it that he realized it was the very air he breathed, the blood flowing through him. Then the façade fell away, and the enemy of souls unleashed his power against this weary spirit, already weakened by long battles and defeat.
At the end Halleck opened his door, and called, “Olive, Olive!” in a voice that thrilled the girl with strange alarm where she sat in her own room. She came running, and found him clinging to his doorpost, pale and tremulous. “I want you—want you to help me,” he gasped. “I want to show you something—Look here!”
At the end, Halleck opened his door and called, “Olive, Olive!” in a voice that filled the girl with a strange sense of alarm as she sat in her own room. She hurried over and found him leaning against the doorframe, pale and shaking. “I need you—need you to help me,” he gasped. “I want to show you something—Look here!”
He gave her the paper, which he had kept behind him, clutched fast in his hand as if he feared it might somehow escape him at last, and staggered away to a chair.
He handed her the paper that he had been holding tightly behind him, as if he was worried it might slip away from him, and then he stumbled over to a chair.
His sister read the notice. “Oh, Ben!” She dropped her hands with the paper in them before her, a gesture of helpless horror and pity, and looked at him. “Does she know it? Has she seen it?”
His sister read the notice. “Oh, Ben!” She dropped her hands with the paper in them before her, a gesture of helpless horror and pity, and looked at him. “Does she know about this? Has she seen it?”
“No one knows it but you and I. The paper was left here for me by mistake. I opened it before I saw that it was addressed to her.”
“No one knows this but you and me. The paper was left here for me by accident. I opened it before I realized it was meant for her.”
He panted forth these sentences in an exhaustion that would have terrified her, if she had not been too full of indignant compassion for Marcia to know anything else. She tried to speak.
He breathed out these sentences in a way that would have scared her if she hadn’t been too filled with angry sympathy for Marcia to think about anything else. She tried to say something.
“Don't you understand, Olive? This is the notice that the law requires she shall have to come and defend her cause, and it has been sent by the clerk of the court, there, to the address that villain must have given in the knowledge that it could reach her only by one chance in ten thousand.”
“Don't you get it, Olive? This is the notice that the law says she has to come and defend her case, and it was sent by the court clerk to the address that jerk must have provided, knowing it would only have a one in ten thousand chance of getting to her.”
“And it has come to you! Oh, Ben! Who sent it to you?” The brother and sister looked at each other, but neither spoke the awestricken thought that was in both their hearts. “Ben,” she cried in a solemn ecstasy of love and pride, “I would rather be you this minute than any other man in the world!”
“And it has come to you! Oh, Ben! Who sent it to you?” The brother and sister exchanged glances, but neither voiced the amazed thought that filled their hearts. “Ben,” she exclaimed in a serious rush of love and pride, “I would rather be you right now than any other man in the world!”
“Don't!” pleaded Halleck. His head dropped, and then he lifted it by a sudden impulse. “Olive!”—But the impulse failed, and he only said, “I want you to go to Atherton with me. We mustn't lose time. Have Cyrus get a carriage. Go down and tell them we're going out. I'll be ready as soon as you are.”
“Don’t!” Halleck begged. He lowered his head, and then lifted it with a sudden burst of determination. “Olive!”—But the moment passed, and he only said, “I want you to come to Atherton with me. We can’t waste time. Have Cyrus arrange for a carriage. Go downstairs and let them know we’re leaving. I’ll be ready as soon as you are.”
But when she called to him from below that the carriage had come and she was waiting, he would have refused to go with her if he durst. He no longer wished to keep back the fact, but he felt an invalid's weariness of it, a sick man's inadequacy to the farther demands it should make upon him. He crept slowly down the stairs, keeping a tremulous hold upon the rail; and he sank with a sigh against the carriage cushions, answering Olive's eager questions and fervid comments with languid monosyllables.
But when she called to him from below that the carriage had arrived and she was waiting, he would have turned her down if he’d had the guts. He no longer wanted to hide the truth, but he felt exhausted by it, like someone who's sick and can't meet the demands it was placing on him. He slowly crept down the stairs, gripping the handrail shakily; and he sank with a sigh into the cushioned seats of the carriage, responding to Olive's eager questions and passionate remarks with tired one-word answers.
They found the Athertons at coffee, and Clara would have them come to the dining-room and join them. Halleck refused the coffee, and while Olive told what had happened he looked listlessly about the room, aware of a perverse sympathy with Bartley, from Bartley's point of view: Bartley might never have gone wrong if he had had all that luxury; and why should he not have had it, as well as Atherton? What right had the untempted prosperity of such a man to judge the guilt of such men as himself and Bartley Hubbard?
They found the Athertons drinking coffee, and Clara invited them to the dining room to join in. Halleck declined the coffee, and while Olive recounted what had happened, he scanned the room absentmindedly, feeling a strange sympathy for Bartley from his perspective: Bartley might have stayed on the right path if he had enjoyed that kind of luxury; and why shouldn’t he have had it, just like Atherton? What right did the untested success of someone like him have to judge the failures of men like him and Bartley Hubbard?
Olive produced the newspaper from her lap, where she kept both hands upon it, and opened it to the advertisement in dramatic corroboration of what she had been telling Atherton. He read it and passed it to Clara.
Olive pulled the newspaper from her lap, where she had both hands resting on it, and opened it to the advertisement as dramatic proof of what she had been telling Atherton. He read it and then handed it to Clara.
“When did this come to you?”
“When did this occur to you?”
Olive answered for him. “This evening,—just now. Didn't I say that?”
Olive replied for him. “This evening—just now. Didn't I mention that?”
“No,” said Atherton; and he added to Halleck, gently: “I beg your pardon. Did you notice the dates?”
“No,” Atherton said, and he added to Halleck, gently: “I’m sorry. Did you see the dates?”
“Yes,” answered Halleck, with cold refusal of Atherton's tone of reparation.
“Yes,” replied Halleck, coldly rejecting Atherton's tone of apology.
“The cause is set for hearing on the 11th,” said Atherton. “This is the 8th. The time is very short.”
“The hearing is scheduled for the 11th,” said Atherton. “Today is the 8th. We don’t have much time.”
“It's long enough,” said Halleck, wearily.
“It's long enough,” Halleck said wearily.
“Oh, telegraph!” cried Clara. “Telegraph them instantly that she never dreamt of leaving him! Abandonment! Oh, if they only knew how she had been slaving her lingers off for the last two years to keep a home for him to come back to, they'd give her the divorce!”
“Oh, telegraph!” cried Clara. “Telegraph them right away that she never even thought about leaving him! Abandonment! Oh, if they only knew how she had been working her fingers to the bone for the last two years to keep a home ready for him to come back to, they'd give her the divorce!”
Atherton smiled and turned to Halleck: “Do you know what their law is, now? It was changed two years ago.”
Atherton smiled and turned to Halleck: “Do you know what their law is now? It changed two years ago.”
“Yes,” said Halleck, replying to the question Atherton had asked and the subtler question he had looked, “I have read up the whole subject since I came home. The divorce is granted only upon proof, even when the defendant fails to appear, and if this were to go against us,”—he instinctively identified himself with Marcia's cause,—“we can have the default set aside, and a new trial granted, for cause shown.”
“Yes,” said Halleck, responding to Atherton's question and the deeper question in his gaze, “I’ve looked into the entire subject since I got back home. A divorce is only granted with proof, even if the defendant doesn’t show up, and if this goes against us,”—he instinctively aligned himself with Marcia's cause—“we can have the default overturned and request a new trial for valid reasons.”
The women listened in awe of the legal phrases; but when Atherton rose, and asked, “Is your carriage here?” his wife sprang to her feet.
The women listened in awe of the legal terms; but when Atherton stood up and asked, “Is your carriage here?” his wife jumped to her feet.
“Why, where are you going?” she demanded, anxiously.
“Why, where are you going?” she asked, nervously.
“Not to Indiana, immediately,” answered her husband. “We're first going to Clover Street, to see Squire Gaylord and Mrs. Hubbard. Better let me take the paper, dear,” he said, softly withdrawing it from her hands.
“Not to Indiana right away,” her husband replied. “First, we’re going to Clover Street to see Squire Gaylord and Mrs. Hubbard. It's better if I take the paper, dear,” he said, gently taking it from her hands.
“Oh, it's a cruel, cruel law!” she moaned, deprived of this moral support. “To suppose that such a notice as this is sufficient! Women couldn't have made such a law.”
“Oh, it’s such a cruel, cruel law!” she complained, feeling lost without this moral support. “To think that a notice like this is enough! Women could never have made such a law.”
“No, women only profit by such laws after they're made: they work both ways. But it's not such a bad law, as divorce laws go. We do worse, now, in some New England States.”
“No, women only benefit from such laws after they’re established: they work both ways. But it’s not a terrible law, as divorce laws go. We actually do worse now in some New England states.”
They found the Squire alone in the parlor, and, with a few words of explanation, Atherton put the paper in his hands, and he read the notice in emotionless quiet. Then he took off his spectacles, and shut them in their case, which he put back into his waistcoat pocket. “This is all right,” he said. He cleared his throat, and, lifting the fierce glimmer of his eyes to Atherton's, he asked, drily, “What is the law, at present?”
They found the Squire alone in the parlor, and with a brief explanation, Atherton handed him the paper, which he read in silent calm. Then he removed his glasses and closed them in their case, placing it back in his waistcoat pocket. "This is all fine," he said. He cleared his throat and, looking intently at Atherton, asked dryly, "What’s the law right now?"
Atherton briefly recapitulated the points as he had them from Halleck.
Atherton quickly went over the points as he understood them from Halleck.
“That's good,” said the old man. “We will fight this, gentlemen.” He rose, and from his gaunt height looked down on both of them, with his sinuous lips set in a bitter smile. “Bartley must have been disappointed when he found a divorce so hard to get in Indiana. He must have thought that the old law was still in force there. He's not the fellow to swear to a lie if he could help it; but I guess he expects to get this divorce by perjury.”
“That's great,” said the old man. “We'll fight this, gentlemen.” He stood up, and from his tall, lean frame looked down at both of them, his thin lips curled into a bitter smile. “Bartley must have been let down when he realized how hard it is to get a divorce in Indiana. He probably thought the old law was still in place there. He’s not the type to lie if he can avoid it; but I guess he thinks he can get this divorce through perjury.”
Marcia was putting little Flavia to bed. She heard the talking below; she thought she heard Bartley's name. She ran to the stairs, and came hesitantly down, the old wild hope and wild terror fluttering her pulse and taking her breath. At sight of the three men, apparently in council, she crept toward them, holding out her hands before her like one groping his way. “What—what is it?” She looked from Atherton's face to her father's; the old man stopped, and tried to smile reassuringly; he tried to speak; Atherton turned away.
Marcia was putting little Flavia to bed. She heard voices downstairs and thought she heard Bartley's name. She hurried to the stairs and came down slowly, her heart racing with both hope and fear. When she saw the three men apparently in a serious discussion, she crept closer, holding out her hands like someone trying to find their way in the dark. “What—what's going on?” She looked from Atherton's face to her father's; the older man paused and tried to smile reassuringly; he attempted to speak, while Atherton turned away.
It was Halleck who came forward, and took her wandering hands. He held them quivering in his own, and said gravely and steadily, using her name for the first time in the deep pity which cast out all fear and shame, “Marcia, we have found your husband.”
It was Halleck who stepped forward and took her wandering hands. He held them trembling in his own and said earnestly and calmly, using her name for the first time in the deep sympathy that erased all fear and shame, “Marcia, we have found your husband.”
“Dead?” she made with her lips.
"Dead?" she whispered.
“He is alive,” said Halleck. “There is something in this paper for you to see,—something you must see—”
“He's alive,” said Halleck. “There's something in this paper for you to see—something you have to see—”
“I can bear anything if he is not dead. Where—what is it? Show it to me—” The paper shook in the hands which Halleck released; her eyes strayed blindly over its columns; he had to put his finger on the place before she could find it. Then her tremor ceased, and she seemed without breath or pulse while she read it through. She fetched a long, deep sigh, and passed her hand over her eyes, as if to clear them; staying herself unconsciously against Halleck's breast, and laying her trembling arm along his arm till her fingers knit themselves among his fingers, she read it a second time and a third. Then she dropped the paper, and turned to look up at him. “Why!” she cried, as if she had made it out at last, while an awful, joyful light of hope flashed into her face. “It is a mistake! Don't you see? He thinks that I never came back! He thinks that I meant to abandon him. That I—that I—But you know that I came back,—you came back with me! Why, I wasn't gone an hour,—a half-hour, hardly. Oh, Bartley, poor Bartley! He thought I could leave him, and take his child from him; that I could be so wicked, so heartless—Oh, no, no, no! Why, I only stayed away that little time because I was afraid to go back! Don't you remember how I told you I was afraid, and wanted you to come in with me?” Her exaltation broke in a laugh. “But we can explain it now, and it will be all right. He will see—he will understand—I will tell him just how it was—Oh, Flavia, Flavia, we've found papa, we've found papa! Quick!”
“I can handle anything as long as he’s not dead. Where—what is it? Show it to me—” The paper trembled in her hands as Halleck let go; her eyes darted helplessly over its columns, and he had to point it out before she could find it. Then her shaking stopped, and she seemed breathless while she read it through. She let out a long, deep sigh and rubbed her eyes, as if trying to clear them; instinctively leaning against Halleck's chest and laying her trembling arm along his until her fingers intertwined with his, she read it again and again. Finally, she dropped the paper and looked up at him. “Wait!” she exclaimed, as if she had just figured it out, an awful yet joyful glimmer of hope lighting up her face. “It’s a mistake! Don’t you see? He thinks I never came back! He thinks I meant to leave him. That I—that I—But you know I came back—you came back with me! I was only gone for a short time—hardly a half-hour. Oh, Bartley, poor Bartley! He thought I could leave him and take his child—he thought I could be that cruel, that heartless—Oh, no, no, no! The only reason I stayed away was because I was afraid to go back! Don’t you remember how I told you I was scared and wanted you to come in with me?” Her excitement burst into laughter. “But we can explain it now, and everything will be fine. He’ll see—he’ll understand—I’ll tell him exactly how it was—Oh, Flavia, Flavia, we’ve found papa, we’ve found papa! Hurry!”
She whirled away toward the stairs, but her father caught her by the arm. “Marcia!” he shouted, in his old raucous voice, “You've got to understand! This”—he hesitated, as if running over all terms of opprobrium in his mind, and he resumed as if he had found them each too feeble—“Bartley hasn't acted under any mistake.”
She spun around and headed toward the stairs, but her dad grabbed her by the arm. “Marcia!” he yelled in his loud, raspy voice, “You need to understand! This”—he paused, as if sorting through all the harsh words in his head, then continued as if he thought they were all too weak—“Bartley hasn’t made any mistake.”
He set the facts before her with merciless clearness, and she listened with an audible catching of the breath at times, while she softly smoothed her forehead with her left hand. “I don't believe it,” she said when he had ended. “Write to him, tell him what I say, and you will see.”
He laid the facts out for her with brutal clarity, and she listened, occasionally gasping for breath, while she gently rubbed her forehead with her left hand. “I don’t believe it,” she said when he finished. “Write to him, tell him what I said, and you’ll see.”
The old man uttered something between a groan and a curse. “Oh, you poor, crazy child! Can nothing make you understand that Bartley wants to get rid of you, and that he's just as ready for one lie as another? He thinks he can make out a case of abandonment with the least trouble, and so he accuses you of that, but he'd just as soon accuse you of anything else. Write to him? You've got to go to him! You've got to go out there and fight him in open court, with facts and witnesses. Do you suppose Bartley Hubbard wants any explanation from you? Do you think he's been waiting these two years to hear that you didn't really abandon him, but came back to this house an hour after you left it, and that you've waited for him here ever since? When he knows that, will he withdraw this suit of his and come home? He'll want the proof, and the way to do is to go out there and let him have it. If I had him on the stand for five minutes,” said the old man between his set teeth,—“just five minutes,—I'd undertake to convince him from his own lips that he was wrong about you! But I am afraid he wouldn't mind a letter! You think I say so because I hate him; and you don't believe me. Well, ask either of these gentlemen here whether I'm telling you the truth.”
The old man let out a sound that was part groan, part curse. “Oh, you poor, crazy kid! Can’t you see that Bartley wants to get rid of you and he’s just as willing to tell any lie? He thinks he can easily claim you abandoned him, so that’s what he’s accusing you of, but he’d just as likely accuse you of anything else. Write to him? You need to go to him! You have to confront him in court, with actual facts and witnesses. Do you really think Bartley Hubbard cares about any explanation from you? Do you believe he’s been waiting these two years to hear that you didn’t actually abandon him, but came back to this house an hour after you left, and that you’ve been waiting for him here since? When he hears that, do you think he’ll drop his lawsuit and come home? He’ll want proof, and the way to provide that is to go out there and give it to him. If I had him in the witness stand for just five minutes,” said the old man, gritting his teeth, “just five minutes—I could show him from his own words that he was wrong about you! But I’m worried he wouldn’t care about a letter! You think I’m saying this out of hatred; you don’t believe me. Well, ask either of these gentlemen here if I’m lying.”
She did not speak, but, with a glance at their averted faces, she sank into a chair, and passed one hand over the other, while she drew her breath in long, shuddering respirations, and stared at the floor with knit brows and starting eyes, like one stifling a deadly pang. She made several attempts to speak before she could utter any sound; then she lifted her eyes to her father's: “Let us—let us—go—home! Oh, let us go home! I will give him up. I had given him up already; I told you,” she said, turning to Halleck, and speaking in a slow, gentle tone, “only an hour ago, that he was dead. And this—this that's happened, it makes no difference. Why did you bring the paper to me when you knew that I thought he was dead?”
She didn't say anything, but seeing their turned-away faces, she sank into a chair and ran one hand over the other as she took long, shuddering breaths. With her brow furrowed and eyes wide, she stared at the floor, like someone fighting back an unbearable pain. She tried to speak several times before any sound came out; then she looked up at her father's face: “Let’s—let’s—go—home! Oh, let’s go home! I’ll give him up. I had already given him up; I told you,” she said, turning to Halleck, her voice slow and gentle, “only an hour ago that he was dead. And this—this that’s happened, it doesn’t change anything. Why did you bring the paper to me when you knew I thought he was dead?”
“God knows I wished to keep it from you.”
“Honestly, I wanted to keep it from you.”
“Well, no matter now. Let him go free if he wants to. I can't help it.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter now. If he wants to leave, let him. I can’t do anything about it.”
“You can help it,” interrupted her father. “You've got the facts on your side, and you've got the witnesses!”
“You can help it,” her father interrupted. “You have the facts on your side, and you have the witnesses!”
“Would you go out with me, and tell him that I never meant to leave him?” she asked simply, turning to Halleck. “You—and Olive?”
“Would you go out with me and tell him that I never meant to leave him?” she asked straightforwardly, turning to Halleck. “You—and Olive?”
“We would do anything for you, Marcia!”
“We’d do anything for you, Marcia!”
She sat musing, and drawing her hands one over the other again, while her quivering breath came and went on the silence. She let her hands fall nervelessly on her lap. “I can't go; I'm too weak; I couldn't bear the journey. No!” She shook her head. “I can't go!”
She sat lost in thought, stacking her hands on top of each other while her shaky breath filled the silence. She let her hands drop limply onto her lap. “I can’t go; I’m too weak; I couldn’t handle the trip. No!” She shook her head. “I can’t go!”
“Marcia,” began her father, “it's your duty to go!”
“Marcia,” her father started, “it's your duty to go!”
“Does it say in the law that I have to go, if I don't choose?” she asked of Halleck.
“Does the law say I have to go if I don't want to?” she asked Halleck.
“No, you certainly need not go, if you don't choose!”
“No, you definitely don’t have to go if you don’t want to!”
“Then I will stay. Do you think it's my duty to go?” she asked, referring her question first to Halleck and then to Atherton. She turned from the silence by which they tried to leave her free. “I don't care for my duty, any more. I don't want to keep him, if it's so that he—left me—and—and meant it—and he doesn't—care for me any—more.”
“Then I'll stay. Do you think I should go?” she asked, directing her question first to Halleck and then to Atherton. She turned away from the silence they used to avoid answering her. “I don’t care about my duty anymore. I don’t want to hold onto him if it means he—left me—and—and meant it—and he doesn’t—care for me anymore.”
“Care for you? He never cared for you, Marcia! And you may be sure he doesn't care for you now.”
“Care about you? He never cared about you, Marcia! And you can be sure he doesn’t care about you now.”
“Then let him go, and let us go home.”
“Then let him go, and let’s go home.”
“Very well!” said the old man. “We will go home, then, and before the week's out Bartley Hubbard will be a perjured bigamist.”
“Alright!” said the old man. “We’ll head home now, and by the end of the week, Bartley Hubbard will be a lying bigamist.”
“Bigamist?” Marcia leaped to her feet.
“Bigamist?” Marcia jumped to her feet.
“Yes, bigamist! Don't you suppose he had his eye on some other woman out there before he began this suit?”
“Yes, bigamist! Don’t you think he was eyeing another woman out there before he started this lawsuit?”
The languor was gone from Marcia's limbs. As she confronted her father, the wonderful likeness in the outline of their faces appeared. His was dark and wrinkled with age, and hers was gray with the anger that drove the blood back to her heart, but one impulse animated those fierce profiles, and the hoarded hate in the old man's soul seemed to speak in Marcia's thick whisper, “I will go.”
The weakness had disappeared from Marcia's limbs. As she faced her father, the striking resemblance in their facial outlines became evident. His face was dark and wrinkled with age, while hers was pale with the anger that pushed the blood back to her heart, but the same force fueled both intense profiles, and the long-held resentment in the old man's soul seemed to echo in Marcia's low whisper, “I will go.”
XXXVIII.
The Athertons sat late over their breakfast in the luxurious dining-room where the April sun came in at the windows overlooking the Back Bay, and commanding at that stage of the tide a long stretch of shallow with a flight of white gulls settled upon it.
The Athertons lingered over their breakfast in the elegant dining room where the April sun streamed through the windows overlooking the Back Bay, revealing a long stretch of shallow water at that point in the tide, with a flock of white gulls perched on it.
They had let Clara's house on the hill, and she had bought another on the new land; she insisted upon the change, not only because everybody was leaving the hill, but also because, as she said, it would seem too much like taking Mr. Atherton to board, if they went to housekeeping where she had always lived; she wished to give him the effect before the world of having brought her to a house of his own. She had even furnished it anew for the most part, and had banished as far as possible the things that reminded her of the time when she was not his wife. He humored her in this fantastic self-indulgence, and philosophized her wish to give him the appearance of having the money, as something orderly in its origin, and not to be deprecated on other grounds, since probably it deceived nobody. They lived a very tranquil life, and Clara had no grief of her own unless it was that there seemed to be no great things she could do for him. One day when she whimsically complained of this, he said: “I'm very glad of that. Let's try to be equal to the little sacrifices we must make for each other; they will be quite enough. Many a woman who would be ready to die for her husband makes him wretched because she won't live for him. Don't despise the day of small things.”
They had rented Clara's house on the hill, and she had purchased another one on the new property; she was determined to make the move not just because everyone else was leaving the hill, but also because, as she put it, it would feel too much like taking Mr. Atherton in as a boarder if they started their life together in the place where she had always lived. She wanted to give him the impression of having brought her into a home of his own. She had even mostly furnished it anew and tried to remove as much as possible that reminded her of the time before she was his wife. He indulged her in this quirky desire and thought of her wish to make it look like he had the means as something structured in its essence, and not something to be criticized for other reasons, since it likely fooled no one. They led a very peaceful life, and Clara had no personal sorrow unless it was that she felt there was little she could do for him. One day, when she playfully complained about this, he said, “I’m actually glad about that. Let’s strive to meet the small sacrifices we need to make for each other; they will be more than enough. Many a woman who would die for her husband makes him miserable simply because she won’t live for him. Don’t underestimate the importance of small things.”
“Yes, but when every day seems the day of small things!” she pouted.
“Yes, but when every day feels like just another day of minor things!” she pouted.
“Every day is the day of small things,” said Atherton, “with people who are happy. We're never so prosperous as when we can't remember what happened last Monday.”
“Every day is the day of small things,” Atherton said, “for people who are happy. We’re never as prosperous as when we can’t remember what happened last Monday.”
“Oh, but I can't bear to be always living in the present.”
“Oh, but I can't stand the idea of always living in the present.”
“It's not so spacious, I know, as either the past or the future, but it's all we have.”
“It's not as big, I know, as either the past or the future, but it's all we have.”
“There!” cried Clara. “That's fatalism! It's worse than fatalism!”
“There!” shouted Clara. “That's fatalism! It's worse than fatalism!”
“And is fatalism so very bad?” asked her husband.
“And is fatalism really that bad?” her husband asked.
“It's Mahometanism!”
"It's Islam!"
“Well, it isn't necessarily a plurality of wives,” returned Atherton, in subtle anticipation of her next point. “And it's really only another name for resignation, which is certainly a good thing.”
“Well, it isn't necessarily a lot of wives,” Atherton replied, subtly anticipating her next point. “And it's really just another way of saying acceptance, which is definitely a good thing.”
“Resignation? Oh, I don't know about that!”
“Resignation? Oh, I’m not so sure about that!”
Atherton laughed, and put his arm round her waist: an argument that no woman can answer in a man she loves; it seems to deprive her of her reasoning faculties. In the atmosphere of affection which she breathed, she sometimes feared that her mental powers were really weakening. As a girl she had lived a life full of purposes, which, if somewhat vague, were unquestionably large. She had then had great interests,—art, music, literature,—the symphony concerts, Mr. Hunt's classes, the novels of George Eliot, and Mr Fiske's lectures on the cosmic philosophy; and she had always felt that they expanded and elevated existence. In her moments of question as to the shape which her life had taken since, she tried to think whether the happiness which seemed so little dependent on these things was not beneath the demands of a spirit which was probably immortal and was certainly cultivated. They all continued to be part of her life, but only a very small part; and she would have liked to ask her husband whether his influence upon her had been wholly beneficial. She was not sure that it had; but neither was she sure that it had not. She had never fully consented to the distinctness with which he classified all her emotions and ideas as those of a woman: in her heart she doubted whether a great many of them might not be those of a man, though she had never found any of them exactly like his. She could not complain that he did not treat her as an equal; he deferred to her, and depended upon her good sense to an extent that sometimes alarmed her, for she secretly knew that she had a very large streak of silliness in her nature. He seemed to tell her everything, and to be greatly ruled by her advice, especially in matters of business; but she could not help observing that he often kept matters involving certain moral questions from her till the moment for deciding them was past. When she accused him of this, he confessed that it was so; but defended himself by saying that he was afraid her conscience might sway him against his judgment.
Atherton laughed and wrapped his arm around her waist: it’s an argument that no woman can counter when it’s coming from a man she loves; it seems to take away her ability to think. In the atmosphere of affection surrounding her, she sometimes worried that her mental abilities were really fading. As a girl, she had lived a life full of goals which, while somewhat unclear, were undeniably significant. She had once had major interests—art, music, literature—the symphony concerts, Mr. Hunt's classes, the novels of George Eliot, and Mr. Fiske's lectures on cosmic philosophy; and she had always felt that they enriched and uplifted her life. In her moments of reflection about the direction her life had taken since then, she wondered if the happiness that seemed so little tied to those interests was beneath what a spirit that was probably immortal and definitely cultivated deserved. They all still played a part in her life, but only a tiny part; and she wished she could ask her husband if his influence on her had been entirely positive. She wasn't sure it had been, but she also wasn’t certain it hadn’t. She had never completely accepted the way he labeled all her emotions and ideas as those of a woman: deep down, she questioned whether many of them could actually be those of a man, though she’d never found any that were exactly like his. She couldn’t complain that he didn’t treat her as an equal; he respected her and relied on her judgment to a degree that sometimes worried her, since she secretly knew she had a significant streak of silliness within her. He seemed to share everything with her and was greatly influenced by her advice, especially in business matters; but she noticed that he often kept issues involving certain moral dilemmas from her until after the moment for making decisions had passed. When she confronted him about this, he admitted it was true; but he defended himself by saying he was afraid her conscience might lead him to go against his judgment.
Clara now recurred to these words of his as she sat looking at him through her tears across the breakfast table. “Was that the reason you never told me about poor Ben before?”
Clara now recalled his words as she sat looking at him through her tears across the breakfast table. “Is that why you never told me about poor Ben before?”
“Yes, and I expect you to justify me. What good would it have done to tell you?”
“Yes, and I expect you to explain yourself. What good would it have done to tell you?”
“I could have told you, at least, that, if Ben had any such feeling as that, it wasn't his fault altogether.”
“I could have told you, at least, that if Ben felt anything like that, it wasn’t entirely his fault.”
“But you wouldn't have believed that, Clara,” said Atherton. “You know that, whatever that poor creature's faults are, coquetry isn't one of them.”
“But you wouldn't believe that, Clara,” said Atherton. “You know that, no matter what faults that poor person has, being flirtatious isn’t one of them.”
Clara only admitted the fact passively. “How did he excuse himself for coming back?” she asked.
Clara only accepted the fact quietly. “How did he explain his return?” she asked.
“He didn't excuse himself; he defied himself. We had a stormy talk, and he ended by denying that he had any social duty in the matter.”
“He didn't justify his actions; he challenged himself. We had a heated conversation, and he concluded by stating that he had no social responsibility in the situation.”
“And I think he was quite right!” Clara flashed out. “It was his own affair.”
“And I think he was totally right!” Clara exclaimed. “It was his own business.”
“He said he had a concrete purpose, and wouldn't listen to abstractions. Yes, he talked like a woman. But you know he wasn't right, Clara, though you talk like a woman, too. There are a great many things that are not wrong except as they wrong others. I've no doubt that, as compared with the highest love her husband ever felt for her, Ben's passion was as light to darkness. But if he could only hope for its return through the perversion of her soul,—through teaching her to think of escape from her marriage by a divorce,—then it was a crime against her and against society.”
“He said he had a clear purpose and wouldn’t entertain abstract ideas. Yes, he spoke like a woman. But you know he wasn’t right, Clara, even though you speak like a woman, too. There are many things that aren’t wrong unless they harm others. I have no doubt that, compared to the deepest love her husband ever had for her, Ben's passion was like light compared to darkness. But if he could only hope for it to come back by twisting her soul—by encouraging her to think about escaping her marriage through divorce—then it was wrong for her and for society.”
“Ben couldn't do such a thing!”
“Ben can't do that!”
“No, he could only dream of doing it. When it came to the attempt, everything that was good in him revolted against it and conspired to make him help her in the efforts that would defeat his hopes if they succeeded. It was a ghastly ordeal, but it was sublime; and when the climax came,—that paper, which he had only to conceal for a few days or weeks,—he was equal to the demand upon him. But suppose a man of his pure training and traditions had yielded to temptation,—suppose he had so far depraved himself that he could have set about persuading her that she owed no allegiance to her husband, and might rightfully get a divorce and marry him,—what a ruinous blow it would have been to all who knew of it! It would have disheartened those who abhorred it, and encouraged those who wanted to profit by such an example. It doesn't matter much, socially, what undisciplined people like Bartley and Marcia Hubbard do; but if a man like Ben Halleck goes astray, it's calamitous; it 'confounds the human conscience,' as Victor Hugo says. All that careful nurture in the right since he could speak, all that life-long decency of thought and act, that noble ideal of unselfishness and responsibility to others, trampled under foot and spit upon,—it's horrible!”
“No, he could only dream of doing it. When it came to the attempt, everything good in him revolted against it and actually worked to make him help her in ways that would crush his hopes if they succeeded. It was a terrible struggle, but it was incredible; and when the moment came—that paper, which he only had to hide for a few days or weeks—he rose to the challenge. But what if a man with his pure training and background had given in to temptation—what if he had so far corrupted himself that he could try to convince her that she didn't owe any loyalty to her husband and could rightly get a divorce and marry him—what a disastrous blow that would have been to everyone who knew about it! It would have discouraged those who hated it and encouraged those who wanted to benefit from such an example. It doesn’t matter much, socially, what reckless people like Bartley and Marcia Hubbard do; but if a man like Ben Halleck goes astray, it's disastrous; it 'confounds the human conscience,' as Victor Hugo says. All that careful upbringing from the time he could speak, all that lifelong integrity in thought and action, that noble ideal of selflessness and responsibility to others, trampled underfoot and spat upon—it’s horrific!”
“Yes,” answered Clara, deeply moved, even as a woman may be in a pretty breakfast-room, “and such a good soul as Ben always was naturally. Will you have some more tea?”
“Yes,” answered Clara, deeply touched, just like a woman can be in a lovely breakfast room, “and Ben has always been such a good person. Would you like more tea?”
“Yes, I will take another cup. But as for natural goodness—”
“Yes, I’ll have another cup. But about natural goodness—”
“Wait! I will ring for some hot water.”
“Wait! I’ll call for some hot water.”
When the maid had appeared, disappeared, reappeared, and finally vanished, Atherton resumed. “The natural goodness doesn't count. The natural man is a wild beast, and his natural goodness is the amiability of a beast basking in the sun when his stomach is full. The Hubbards were full of natural goodness, I dare say, when they didn't happen to cross each other's wishes. No, it's the implanted goodness that saves,—the seed of righteousness treasured from generation to generation, and carefully watched and tended by disciplined fathers and mothers in the hearts where they have dropped it. The flower of this implanted goodness is what we call civilization, the condition of general uprightness that Halleck declared he owed no allegiance to. But he was better than his word.”
When the maid had come and gone, Atherton continued. “Natural goodness doesn’t mean much. The natural person is like a wild animal, and their natural goodness is just the pleasantness of an animal lounging in the sun when it's well-fed. The Hubbards were probably full of natural goodness, I suppose, when they weren’t getting in each other’s way. No, it’s the goodness that’s instilled in us that truly matters—the seed of righteousness passed down through generations, carefully nurtured by committed parents in the hearts where it has been planted. The result of this instilled goodness is what we call civilization, the state of general integrity that Halleck claimed he owed nothing to. But he was better than his words.”
Atherton lifted, with his slim, delicate hand, the cup of translucent china, and drained off the fragrant Souchong, sweetened, and tempered with Jersey cream to perfection. Something in the sight went like a pang to his wife's heart. “Ah!” she said, “it is easy enough for us to condemn. We have everything we want!”
Atherton lifted the cup of thin, delicate china with his slim hand and drained the fragrant Souchong, perfectly sweetened and mixed with Jersey cream. The sight of it struck a chord in his wife's heart. “Ah!” she said, “it’s easy for us to judge. We have everything we want!”
“I don't forget that, Clara,” said Atherton, gravely. “Sometimes when I think of it, I am ready to renounce all judgment of others. The consciousness of our comfort, our luxury, almost paralyzes me at those times, and I am ashamed and afraid even of our happiness.”
“I haven't forgotten that, Clara,” Atherton said seriously. “Sometimes when I think about it, I feel like I want to give up judging others. Just being aware of our comfort and our luxury almost paralyzes me at those moments, and I feel ashamed and even scared of our happiness.”
“Yes, what right,” pursued Clara, rebelliously, “have we to be happy and united, and these wretched creatures so—”
“Yes, what right,” continued Clara, defiantly, “do we have to be happy and together, while those miserable beings are so—”
“No right,—none in the world! But somehow the effects follow their causes. In some sort they chose misery for themselves,—we make our own hell in this life and the next,—or it was chosen for them by undisciplined wills that they inherited. In the long run their fate must be a just one.”
“No right—none in the world! But somehow the effects follow their causes. In some way, they chose misery for themselves—we create our own hell in this life and the next—or it was chosen for them by the uncontrolled wills they inherited. In the long run, their fate must be a just one.”
“Ah, but I have to look at things in the short run, and I can't see any justice in Marcia's husband using her so!” cried Clara. “Why shouldn't you use me badly? I don't believe that any woman ever meant better by her husband than she did.”
“Ah, but I have to focus on the short term, and I can’t see any fairness in how Marcia's husband is treating her!” Clara exclaimed. “Why shouldn't you mistreat me? I don’t think any woman has ever had better intentions for her husband than she did.”
“Oh, the meaning doesn't count! It's our deeds that judge us. He is a thoroughly bad fellow, but you may be sure she has been to blame. Though I don't blame the Hubbards, either of them, so much as I blame Halleck. He not only had everything he wished, but the training to know what he ought to wish.”
“Oh, the meaning doesn’t matter! It’s our actions that define us. He’s a really bad guy, but you can bet she’s been a problem too. Though I don’t blame the Hubbards, either of them, as much as I blame Halleck. He not only had everything he wanted but also the knowledge to understand what he should want.”
“I don't know about his having everything. I think Ben must have been disappointed, some time,” said Clara, evasively.
“I’m not sure he really has everything. I think Ben must have been let down at some point,” Clara said, dodging the issue.
“Oh, that's nothing,” replied Atherton, with the contented husband's indifference to sentimental grievances.
“Oh, that's nothing,” replied Atherton, with the satisfied husband's indifference to emotional complaints.
Clara did not speak for some moments, and then she summed up a turmoil of thoughts in a profound sigh. “Well, I don't like it! I thought it was bad enough having a man, even on the outskirts of my acquaintance, abandon his wife; but now Ben Halleck, who has been like a brother to me, to have him mixed up in such an affair in the way he is, it's intolerable!”
Clara stayed silent for a few moments, and then she expressed a whirlwind of thoughts with a deep sigh. “Well, I really don’t like it! I thought it was bad enough when a man, even someone I hardly know, leaves his wife; but now Ben Halleck, who has been like a brother to me, being involved in such a situation the way he is, it's just unbearable!”
“I agree with you,” said Atherton, playing with his spoon. “You know how I hate anything that sins against order, and this whole thing is disorderly. It's intolerable, as you say. But we must bear our share of it. We're all bound together. No one sins or suffers to himself in a civilized state,—or religious state; it's the same thing. Every link in the chain feels the effect of the violence, more or less intimately. We rise or fall together in Christian society. It's strange that it should be so hard to realize a thing that every experience of life teaches. We keep on thinking of offences against the common good as if they were abstractions!”
“I agree with you,” said Atherton, playing with his spoon. “You know how much I hate anything that disrupts order, and this whole situation is chaotic. It's unbearable, as you said. But we have to share in it. We're all connected. No one sins or suffers alone in a civilized society—or a religious one; it’s the same thing. Every link in the chain feels the impact of the turmoil, more or less personally. We rise or fall together in Christian society. It’s odd that it should be so difficult to grasp something that every experience in life teaches us. We keep thinking of offenses against the common good as if they were just abstract concepts!”
“Well, one thing,” said Clara, “I shall always think unnecessarily shocking and disgraceful about it. And that is Ben's going out with her on this journey. I don't see how you could allow that, Eustace.”
“Well, one thing,” Clara said, “I’ll always find it completely shocking and disgraceful. And that is Ben going out with her on this trip. I don’t see how you could allow that, Eustace.”
“Yes,” said Atherton, after a thoughtful silence, “it is shocking. The only consolation is that it is not unnecessarily shocking. I'm afraid that it's necessarily so. When any disease of soul or body has gone far enough, it makes its own conditions, and other things must adjust themselves to it. Besides, no one knows the ugliness of the situation but Halleck himself. I don't see how I could have interfered; and upon the whole I don't know that I ought to have interfered, if I could. She would be helpless without him; and he can get no harm from it. In fact, it's part of his expiation, which must have begun as soon as he met her again after he came home.”
“Yes,” Atherton said after a moment of reflection, “it is shocking. The only consolation is that it’s not unnecessarily shocking. I’m afraid it’s necessary. When any disease of the mind or body has progressed far enough, it creates its own conditions, and everything else has to adjust to it. Plus, the only one who truly understands the ugliness of the situation is Halleck himself. I don’t see how I could have intervened; and honestly, I’m not sure I should have intervened, even if I could. She would be lost without him; and he won't suffer from it. In fact, it’s part of his atonement, which must have started as soon as he saw her again after returning home.”
Clara was convinced, but not reconciled. She only said, “I don't like it.”
Clara was sure, but not okay with it. She just said, “I don't like it.”
Her husband did not reply; he continued musingly: “When the old man made that final appeal to her jealousy,—all that there is really left, probably, of her love for her husband,—and she responded with a face as wicked as his, I couldn't help looking at Halleck—”
Her husband didn’t respond; he kept thinking aloud: “When the old man made that last appeal to her jealousy—basically, the only thing that’s probably left of her love for her husband—and she reacted with a face as wicked as his, I couldn’t help but look at Halleck—”
“Oh, poor Ben! How did he take it? It must have scared, it must have disgusted him!”
“Oh, poor Ben! How did he handle it? It must have freaked him out, it must have grossed him out!”
“That's what I had expected. But there was nothing in his face but pity. He understood, and he pitied her. That was all.”
“That's what I had expected. But there was nothing on his face except pity. He understood, and he felt sorry for her. That was it.”
Clara rose, and turned to the window, where she remained looking through her tears at the gulls on the shallow. It seemed much more than twenty-four hours since she had taken leave of Marcia and the rest at the station, and saw them set out on their long journey with its uncertain and unimaginable end. She had deeply sympathized with them all, but at the same time she had felt very keenly the potential scandalousness of the situation; she shuddered inwardly when she thought what if people knew; she had always revolted from contact with such social facts as their errand involved. She got Olive aside for a moment, and asked her, “Don't you hate it, Olive? Did you ever dream of being mixed up in such a thing? I should die,—simply die!”
Clara got up and turned to the window, where she stayed, looking through her tears at the seagulls in the shallow water. It felt like it had been much more than twenty-four hours since she said goodbye to Marcia and the others at the station, watching them head off on their long journey with its uncertain and unimaginable destination. She felt deep sympathy for them all, but at the same time, she was very aware of how scandalous the situation could be; she shuddered inside at the thought of what people would think if they knew. She pulled Olive aside for a moment and asked her, “Don’t you hate it, Olive? Did you ever imagine getting involved in something like this? I would just die—simply die!”
“I shall not think of dying, unless we fail,” answered Olive. “And, as for hating it, I haven't consulted my feelings a great deal; but I rather think I like it.”
“I won’t think about dying unless we fail,” Olive replied. “And as for hating it, I haven’t really thought about my feelings much; but I actually think I like it.”
“Like going out to be a witness in an Indiana divorce case!”
“Like going out to testify in an Indiana divorce case!”
“I don't look at it in that way, Clara. It's a crusade to me; it's a holy war; it's the cause of an innocent woman against a wicked oppression. I know how you would feel about it, Clara; but I never was as respectable as you are, and I'm quite satisfied to do what Ben, and father, and Mr. Atherton approve. They think it's my duty, and I am glad to go, and to be of all the use I can. But you shall have my heartfelt sympathy through all, Clara, for your involuntary acquaintance with our proceedings.”
“I don’t see it like that, Clara. To me, it’s a crusade; it’s a holy war; it’s the fight of an innocent woman against cruel oppression. I understand how you would feel about it, Clara; but I’ve never been as respectable as you, and I’m perfectly fine doing what Ben, and Dad, and Mr. Atherton support. They believe it’s my duty, and I’m happy to go and be as helpful as I can. But you have my genuine sympathy through all of this, Clara, for your unintentional involvement in our activities.”
“Olive! You know that I'm proud of your courage and Ben's goodness, and that I fully appreciate the sacrifice you're making. And I'm not ashamed of your business: I think it's grand and sublime, and I would just as soon scream it out at the top of my voice, right here in the Albany depot.”
“Olive! You know that I'm proud of your bravery and Ben's kindness, and that I completely recognize the sacrifice you're making. And I'm not embarrassed by your business: I think it's amazing and noble, and I would happily shout it out loud, right here in the Albany depot.”
“Don't,” said Olive. “It would frighten the child.” She had Flavia by the hand, and she made the little girl her special charge throughout the journey. The old Squire seemed anxious to be alone, and he restlessly escaped from Marcia's care. He sat all the first day apart, chewing upon some fragment of wood that he had picked up, and now and then putting up a lank hand to rasp his bristling jaw; glancing furtively at people who passed him, and lapsing into his ruminant abstraction. He had been vexed that they did not start the night before; and every halt the train made visibly afflicted him. He would not leave his place to get anything to eat when they stopped for refreshment, though he hungrily devoured the lunch that Marcia brought into the car for him. At New York he was in a tumult of fear lest they should lose the connecting train on the Pennsylvania Road; and the sigh of relief with which he sank into his seat in the sleeping-car expressed the suffering he had undergone. He said he was not tired, but he went to bed early, as if to sleep away as much of the time as he could.
“Don’t,” Olive said. “It would scare the child.” She held Flavia by the hand, taking care of the little girl throughout the journey. The old Squire seemed eager to be alone and restlessly slipped out of Marcia’s care. He spent the entire first day off to the side, chewing on a piece of wood he had found, occasionally raising a thin hand to rub his rough jaw; he glanced around at people who walked by, getting lost in his own thoughts. He was annoyed that they hadn’t left the night before, and every stop the train made visibly troubled him. He wouldn’t leave his seat to get anything to eat when they paused for refreshments, even though he hungrily devoured the lunch that Marcia brought into the car for him. In New York, he was in a panic that they might miss the connecting train on the Pennsylvania Road; the sigh of relief he let out when he finally sat down in the sleeping car showed how much he had been through. He claimed he wasn't tired, but he went to bed early, as if to sleep away as much of the time as possible.
When Halleck came into their car, the next morning, he found Marcia and her father sitting together, and looking out of the window at the wooded slopes of the Alleghanies through which the train was running. The old man's impatience had relaxed; he let Marcia lay her hand on his, and he answered her with quiet submission, when she spoke now and then of the difference between these valleys, where the wild rhododendrons were growing, and the frozen hollows of the hills at home, which must be still choked with snow.
When Halleck got into their car the next morning, he saw Marcia and her dad sitting together, looking out the window at the forested slopes of the Alleghenies as the train passed through. The old man’s impatience had eased; he allowed Marcia to place her hand on his, and he responded with calm acceptance when she occasionally talked about the contrast between these valleys, where the wild rhododendrons were blooming, and the frozen dips of the hills back home, which were probably still buried in snow.
“But, oh! how much I would rather see them!” she said at last with a homesick throb.
“But, oh! how much I would rather see them!” she said finally with a homesick ache.
“Well,” he assented, “we can go right back—afterwards.”
“Well,” he agreed, “we can head back—afterwards.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Yes,” she replied softly.
“Well, sir, good morning,” said the old man to Halleck, “we are getting along, sir. At this rate, unless our calculations were mistaken, we shall be there by midnight. We are on time, the porter tells me.”
“Well, sir, good morning,” said the old man to Halleck, “we're making progress, sir. At this rate, unless our calculations are off, we should arrive by midnight. The porter informed me that we’re on schedule.”
“Yes, we shall soon be at Pittsburg,” said Halleck, and he looked at Marcia, who turned away her face. She had not spoken of the object of the journey to him since they had left Boston, and it had not been so nearly touched by either of them before.
“Yes, we’ll be in Pittsburgh soon,” said Halleck, looking at Marcia, who turned her face away. She hadn’t mentioned the reason for the trip to him since they left Boston, and they hadn’t come close to discussing it before.
He could see that she recoiled from it, but the old man, once having approached it, could not leave it. “If everything goes well, we shall have our grip on that fellow's throat in less than forty-eight hours.” He looked down mechanically at his withered hands, lean and yellow like the talons of a bird, and lifted his accipitral profile with a predatory alertness. “I didn't sleep very well the last part of the night, but I thought it all out. I sha'n't care whether I get there before or after judgment is rendered; all I want is to get there before he has a chance to clear out. I think I shall be able to convince Bartley Hubbard that there is a God in Israel yet! Don't you be anxious, Marcia; I've got this thing at my fingers' ends, as clear as a bell. I intend to give Bartley a little surprise!”
He could see that she flinched at it, but once the old man got close, he couldn't walk away. “If everything goes well, we’ll have that guy by the throat in less than forty-eight hours.” He looked down at his withered hands, thin and yellow like a bird’s claws, and raised his sharp profile with a focused intensity. “I didn’t sleep well the last part of the night, but I figured it all out. I don’t care if I get there before or after the decision is made; I just want to arrive before he has a chance to bail. I think I can still convince Bartley Hubbard that there’s a God in Israel! Don't worry, Marcia; I have this all figured out, crystal clear. I'm planning to give Bartley a little surprise!”
Marcia kept her face averted, and Halleck relinquished his purpose of sitting down with them, and went forward to the state-room that Marcia and Olive had occupied with the little girl. He tapped on the door, and found his sister dressed, but the child still asleep.
Marcia turned her face away, and Halleck gave up his intention of sitting down with them and went to the state room that Marcia and Olive had shared with the little girl. He knocked on the door and found his sister dressed, but the child was still asleep.
“What is the matter, Ben?” she asked. “You don't look well. You oughtn't to have undertaken this journey.”
“What’s wrong, Ben?” she asked. “You don’t look good. You shouldn’t have taken this trip.”
“Oh, I'm all right. But I've been up a good while, with nothing to eat. That old man is terrible. Olive!”
“Oh, I’m fine. But I’ve been up for a while with nothing to eat. That old man is awful. Olive!”
“Her father? Yes, he's a terrible old man!”
“Her dad? Yeah, he's a really awful old guy!”
“It sickened me to hear him talk, just now,—throwing out his threats of vengeance against Hubbard. It made me feel a sort of sympathy for that poor dog. Do you suppose she has the same motive? I couldn't forgive her!” he said, with a kind of passionate weakness. “I couldn't forgive myself!”
“It made me feel sick to hear him talk just now—throwing out his threats of revenge against Hubbard. I almost felt sorry for that poor dog. Do you think she has the same reason? I couldn't forgive her!” he said with a kind of passionate weakness. “I couldn't forgive myself!”
“We've got nothing to do with their motive, Ben. We are to be her witnesses for justice against a wicked wrong. I don't believe in special providences, of course; but it does seem as if we had been called to this work, as mother would say. Your happening to go home with her, that night, and then that paper happening to come to you,—doesn't it look like it?”
“We have nothing to do with their motive, Ben. We are here to be her witnesses for justice against a terrible wrong. I don’t believe in special providences, of course; but it really seems like we’ve been chosen for this task, as mom would say. Your going home with her that night, and then that paper just happening to come to you—doesn’t it look that way?”
“It looks like it, yes.”
“Yeah, it looks like it.”
“We couldn't have refused to come. That's what consoles me for being here this minute. I put on a bold face with Clara Atherton, yesterday morning at the depot; but I was in a cold chill, all the time. Our coming off, in this way, on such an errand, is something so different from the rest of our whole life! And I do like quiet, and orderly ways, and all that we call respectability! I've been thinking that the trial will be reported by some such interviewing wretch as Bartley himself, and that we shall figure in the newspapers. But I've concluded that we mustn't care. It's right, and we must do it. I don't shut my eyes to the kind of people we're mixed up with. I pity Marcia, and I love her—poor, helpless, unguided thing!—but that old man is terrible! He's as cruel as the grave where he thinks he's been wronged, and crueller where he thinks she's been wronged. You've forgiven so much, Ben, that you can't understand a man who forgives nothing; but I can, for I'm a pretty good hater, myself. And Marcia's just like her father, at times. I've seen her look at Clara Atherton as if she could kill her!”
“We couldn't have said no to coming. That's what keeps me calm about being here right now. I put on a brave face with Clara Atherton yesterday morning at the depot, but I was freezing inside the whole time. Our departure like this, on such a mission, is so different from the rest of our lives! And I really do enjoy a quiet, orderly life, all that we call respectability! I’ve been thinking that the trial will be covered by some nosy reporter like Bartley himself, and we’ll end up in the newspapers. But I've decided we shouldn't care. It’s the right thing to do, and we have to follow through. I’m not naïve about the type of people we’re involved with. I feel sorry for Marcia, and I love her—poor, helpless, lost girl!—but that old man is terrifying! He’s as cruel as death itself when he feels wronged, and even crueler when he thinks she’s been wronged. You've forgiven so much, Ben, that you can’t understand a man who forgives nothing; but I do because I can be a pretty good hater myself. And Marcia can be just like her father sometimes. I’ve seen her look at Clara Atherton as if she could kill her!”
The little girl stirred in her berth, and then lifted herself on her hands, and stared round at them through her tangled golden hair. “Is it morning, yet?” she asked sleepily. “Is it to-morrow?”
The little girl moved in her bunk, then pushed herself up on her hands and looked around at them through her messy golden hair. “Is it morning yet?” she asked drowsily. “Is it tomorrow?”
“Yes; it's to-morrow, Flavia,” said Olive. “Do you want to get up?”
“Yes; it's tomorrow, Flavia,” said Olive. “Do you want to get up?”
“And is next day the day after to-morrow?”
“And is tomorrow the day after next?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah.”
“Then it's only one day till I shall see papa. That's what mamma said. Where is mamma?” asked the child, rising to her knees, and sweeping back her hair from her face with either hand.
“Then it’s just one day until I get to see Dad. That’s what Mom said. Where’s Mom?” asked the child, getting on her knees and pushing her hair back from her face with both hands.
“I will go and send her to you,” said Halleck.
“I'll go and send her to you,” said Halleck.
At Pittsburg the Squire was eager for his breakfast, and made amends for his fast of the day before. He ate grossly of the heterogeneous abundance of the railroad restaurant, and drank two cups of coffee that in his thin, native air would have disordered his pulse for a week. But he resumed his journey with a tranquil strength that seemed the physical expression of a mind clear and content. He was willing and even anxious to tell Halleck what his theories and plans were; but the young man shrank from knowing them. He wished only to know whether Marcia were privy to them, and this, too, he shrank from knowing.
At Pittsburgh, the Squire was eager for breakfast and made up for the fast he observed the day before. He indulged in the diverse spread at the railroad restaurant and drank two cups of coffee that would have thrown his pulse off for a week in his thin, native air. But he continued his journey with a calm strength that seemed to show a clear and content mind. He was open and even excited to share his theories and plans with Halleck; however, the young man hesitated to learn about them. He only wanted to know if Marcia was aware of them, and even that made him hesitant.
XXXIX.
They left Pittsburg under the dun pall of smoke that hangs perpetually over the city, and ran out of a world where the earth seemed turned to slag and cinders, and the coal grime blackened even the sheathing from which the young leaves were unfolding their vivid green. Their train twisted along the banks of the Ohio, and gave them now and then a reach of the stream, forgetful of all the noisy traffic that once fretted its waters, and losing itself in almost primitive wildness among its softly rounded hills. It is a beautiful land, and it had, even to their loath eyes, a charm that touched their hearts. They were on the borders of the illimitable West, whose lands stretch like a sea beyond the hilly Ohio shore; but as yet this vastness, which appalls and wearies all but the born Westerner, had not burst upon them; they were still among heights and hollows, and in a milder and softer New England.
They left Pittsburgh under the gray haze of smoke that constantly hangs over the city and escaped a world where the ground seemed turned to ash and debris, with coal dust staining even the new leaves as they unfolded their bright green. Their train snaked along the banks of the Ohio River, occasionally offering glimpses of the water, forgetting all the noisy traffic that once disturbed its flow, and losing itself in a nearly untouched wilderness among its gently rolling hills. It is a beautiful area, and even to their reluctant eyes, it had a charm that touched their hearts. They were on the edge of the boundless West, where the land spreads out like a sea beyond the hilly Ohio shore; but for now, this vastness, which overwhelms and exhausts everyone but those who were born there, had not yet revealed itself to them; they were still among the hills and valleys, still in a gentler and softer New England.
“I have a strange feeling about this journey,” said Marcia, turning from the window at last, and facing Halleck on the opposite seat. “I want it to be over, and yet I am glad of every little stop. I feel like some one that has been called to a death-bed, and is hurrying on and holding back with all her might, at the same time. I shall have no peace till I am there, and then shall I have peace?” She fixed her eyes imploringly on his. “Say something to me, if you can! What do you think?”
“I have a weird feeling about this journey,” Marcia said, finally turning away from the window to face Halleck across the aisle. “I want it to end, but at the same time, I appreciate every little stop. It’s like someone who’s been called to a deathbed, rushing forward but holding back with all her strength. I won’t find any peace until I get there, and even then, will I have peace?” She looked at him earnestly. “Please say something, if you can! What do you think?”
“Whether you will—succeed?” He was confounding what he knew of her father's feeling with what he had feared of hers.
“Will you succeed?” He was mixing up what he knew of her father's feelings with what he had worried about hers.
“Do you mean about the lawsuit? I don't care for that! Do you think he will hate me when he sees me? Do you think he will believe me when I tell him that I never meant to leave him, and that I'm sorry for what I did to drive him away?”
“Are you talking about the lawsuit? I couldn't care less about that! Do you think he’ll hate me when he sees me? Do you think he’ll believe me when I tell him that I never meant to leave him, and that I’m sorry for what I did to push him away?”
She seemed to expect him to answer, and he answered as well as he could: “He ought to believe that,—yes, he must believe it.”
She looked like she expected him to reply, and he responded as best as he could: “He should believe that—yeah, he has to believe it.”
“Then all the rest may go,” she said. “I don't care who gains the case. But if he shouldn't believe me,—if he should drive me away from him, as I drove him from me—” She held her breath in the terror of such a possibility, and an awe of her ignorance crept over Halleck. Apparently she had not understood the step that Bartley had taken, except as a stage in their quarrel from which they could both retreat, if they would, as easily as from any other dispute; she had not realized it as a final, an almost irrevocable act on his part, which could only be met by reprisal on hers. All those points of law which had been so sharply enforced upon her must have fallen blunted from her longing to be at one with him; she had, perhaps, not imagined her defence in open court, except as a sort of public reconciliation.
“Then everyone else can leave,” she said. “I don't care who wins the case. But if he doesn’t believe me—if he drives me away from him, like I drove him away from me—” She held her breath in fear of such a possibility, and a sense of her own ignorance washed over Halleck. It seemed she hadn’t grasped the significance of Bartley’s action, viewing it merely as a phase in their argument from which they could both step back, just as easily as from any other dispute; she hadn’t recognized it as a final, almost irreversible move on his part that could only be met with retaliation from her. All those legal points that had been so rigorously laid out for her must have slipped away under her desire to be united with him; she might not have envisioned her defense in court as anything other than a kind of public reconciliation.
But at another time she recurred to her wrongs in all the bitterness of her father's vindictive purpose. A young couple entered the car at one of the country stations, and the bride made haste to take off her white bonnet, and lay her cheek on her husband's shoulder, while he passed his arm round her silken waist, and drew her close to him on the seat, in the loving rapture which is no wise inconvenienced by publicity on our railroad trains. Indeed, after the first general recognition of their condition, no one noticed them except Marcia, who seemed fascinated by the spectacle of their unsophisticated happiness; it must have recalled the blissful abandon of her own wedding journey to her. “Oh, poor fool!” she said to Olive. “Let her wait, and it will not be long before she will know that she had better lean on the empty air than on him. Some day, he will let her fall to the ground, and when she gathers herself up all bruised and bleeding—But he hasn't got the all-believing simpleton to deal with that he used to have; and he shall pay me back for all—drop by drop, and ache for ache!”
But at another moment, she reflected on her grievances with all the bitterness of her father's vengeful intent. A young couple got on the train at one of the rural stations, and the bride quickly took off her white bonnet and rested her cheek on her husband's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close on the seat, lost in the kind of loving bliss that isn't bothered by public scrutiny on our trains. In fact, after everyone initially recognized their situation, no one paid them any attention except Marcia, who seemed captivated by their innocent happiness. It must have reminded her of the carefree joy of her own honeymoon. “Oh, poor fool!” she said to Olive. “Let her wait, and it won’t be long before she learns it’s better to lean on empty air than on him. Someday, he’ll let her fall, and when she picks herself up, all bruised and bleeding—But he doesn’t have the naive simpleton to play with like he used to; he’ll pay me back for everything—drop by drop, and ache for ache!”
She was in that strange mental condition into which women fall who brood long upon opposing purposes and desires. She wished to be reconciled, and she wished to be revenged, and she recurred to either wish for the time as vehemently as if the other did not exist. She took Flavia on her knee, and began to prattle to her of seeing papa to-morrow, and presently she turned to Olive, and said: “I know he will find us both a great deal changed. Flavia looks so much older,—and so do I. But I shall soon show him that I can look young again. I presume he's changed too.”
She was in that unusual mental state that women get into when they obsess over conflicting goals and desires. She wanted to make peace, and she wanted revenge, and she switched between each desire as passionately as if the other didn’t exist. She picked Flavia up onto her lap and started chatting with her about seeing Dad tomorrow, and then she turned to Olive and said, “I know he’ll find us both looking very different. Flavia seems so much older—and so do I. But I’ll quickly show him that I can look young again. I assume he’s changed too.”
Marcia held the little girl up at the window. They had now left the river hills and the rolling country beyond, and had entered the great plain which stretches from the Ohio to the Mississippi; and mile by mile, as they ran southward and westward, the spring unfolded in the mellow air under the dull, warm sun. The willows were in perfect leaf, and wore their delicate green like veils caught upon their boughs; the may-apples had already pitched their tents in the woods, beginning to thicken and darken with the young foliage of the oaks and hickories; suddenly, as the train dashed from a stretch of forest, the peach orchards flushed pink beside the brick farmsteads. The child gave a cry of delight, and pointed; and her mother seemed to forget all that had gone before, and abandoned herself to Flavia's joy in the blossoms, as if there were no trouble for her in the world.
Marcia held the little girl up to the window. They had left the river hills and the rolling countryside behind and had entered the vast plain that stretches from the Ohio to the Mississippi. As they traveled southward and westward, spring revealed itself in the warm, soft air under the hazy sun. The willows were fully leafed, draping their delicate green like veils tangled in their branches; the may-apples had already set up their tents in the woods, starting to thicken and darken alongside the young leaves of the oaks and hickories. Suddenly, as the train burst out from a stretch of forest, the peach orchards bloomed pink next to the brick farmhouses. The child squealed with delight and pointed; her mother seemed to forget everything that had happened before and surrendered herself to Flavia's joy in the blossoms, as if there were no worries in the world.
Halleck rose and went into the other car; he felt giddy, as if her fluctuations of mood and motive had somehow turned his own brain. He did not come back till the train stopped at Columbus for dinner. The old Squire showed the same appetite as at breakfast: he had the effect of falling upon his food like a bird of prey; and as soon as the meal was despatched he went back to his seat in the car, where he lapsed into his former silence and immobility, his lank jaws working with fresh activity upon the wooden toothpick he had brought away from the table. While they waited for a train from the north which was to connect with theirs, Halleck walked up and down the vast, noisy station with Olive and Marcia, and humored the little girl in her explorations of the place. She made friends with a red-bird that sang in its cage in the dining-hall, and with an old woman, yellow, and wrinkled, and sunken-eyed, sitting on a bundle tied up in a quilt beside the door, and smoking her clay pipe, as placidly as if on her own cabin threshold. “'Pears like you ain't much afeard of strangers, honey,” said the old woman, taking her pipe out of her mouth, to fill it. “Where do you live at when you're home?”
Halleck got up and walked into the other car; he felt dizzy, as if her sudden changes in mood and intention had somehow scrambled his own thoughts. He didn’t come back until the train stopped in Columbus for dinner. The old Squire had the same appetite as at breakfast: he devoured his food like a bird of prey; and as soon as he finished the meal, he returned to his seat in the car, where he fell back into his previous silence and stillness, his thin jaws working vigorously on the wooden toothpick he had taken from the table. While they waited for a train from the north that would connect with theirs, Halleck paced the large, noisy station with Olive and Marcia, indulging the little girl in her exploration of the area. She made friends with a redbird singing in its cage in the dining hall, and with an old woman, yellow and wrinkled, with sunken eyes, sitting on a bundle wrapped in a quilt by the door, smoking her clay pipe as calmly as if she were on her own porch. “Looks like you ain't much afraid of strangers, sweetie,” said the old woman, pulling her pipe from her mouth to refill it. “Where do you live when you’re at home?”
“Boston,” said the child, promptly. “Where do you live?”
“Boston,” said the kid, immediately. “Where do you live?”
“I used to live in Old Virginny. But my son, he's takin' me out to Illinoy, now. He's settled out there.” She treated the child with the serious equality which simple old people use with children; and spat neatly aside in resuming her pipe. “Which o' them ladies yender is your maw, honey?”
“I used to live in Old Virginia. But my son is taking me out to Illinois now. He’s settled out there.” She spoke to the child with the serious equality that simple old people have with kids and spat neatly aside as she resumed her pipe. “Which of those ladies over there is your mom, honey?”
“My mamma?”
"My mom?"
The old woman nodded.
The elderly woman nodded.
Flavia ran away and laid her hand on Marcia's dress, and then ran back to the old woman.
Flavia ran away, touched Marcia's dress, and then hurried back to the old woman.
“That your paw, with her?” Flavia looked blank, and the old woman interpreted, “Your father.”
“That your dad, with her?” Flavia looked confused, and the old woman clarified, “Your father.”
“No! We're going out to see papa,—out West. We're going to see him to-morrow, and then he's coming back with us. My grandpa is in that car.”
“No! We're going out to see Dad—out West. We're going to see him tomorrow, and then he's coming back with us. My grandpa is in that car.”
The old woman now laid her folded arms on her knees, and smoked obliviously. The little girl lingered a moment, and then ran off laughing to her mother, and pulled her skirt. “Wasn't it funny, mamma? She thought Mr. Halleck was my papa!” She hung forward by the hold she had taken, as children do, and tilted her head back to look into her mother's face. “What is Mr. Halleck, mamma?”
The old woman now rested her folded arms on her knees and smoked without a care. The little girl stayed for a moment, then ran off laughing to her mother and tugged at her skirt. “Wasn't that funny, Mom? She thought Mr. Halleck was my dad!” She leaned forward from where she was holding on, like kids do, and tilted her head back to look into her mother's face. “What is Mr. Halleck, Mom?”
“What is he?” The group halted involuntarily.
“What is he?” The group stopped suddenly.
“Yes, what is he? Is he my uncle, or my cousin, or what? Is he going out to see papa, too? What is he going for? Oh, look, look!” The child plucked away her hand, and ran off to join the circle of idle men and half-grown boys who were forming about two shining negroes with banjos. The negroes flung their hands upon the strings with an ecstatic joy in the music, and lifted their black voices in a wild plantation strain. The child began to leap and dance, and her mother ran after her.
“Yes, who is he? Is he my uncle, my cousin, or what? Is he going to see Dad too? What’s he going for? Oh, look, look!” The child pulled her hand away and ran off to join the group of idle men and young boys forming around two shining Black men with banjos. The musicians struck the strings with ecstatic joy in the music and raised their powerful voices in a lively plantation tune. The child started to leap and dance, and her mother chased after her.
“Naughty little girl!” she cried. “Come into the car with me, this minute.”
“Naughty little girl!” she exclaimed. “Get in the car with me, right now.”
Halleck did not see Marcia again till the train had run far out of the city, and was again sweeping through the thick woods, and flashing out upon the levels of the fields where the farmers were riding their sulky-plows up and down the long furrows in the pleasant afternoon sun. There was something in this transformation of man's old-time laborious dependence into a lordly domination over the earth which strikes the westward journeyer as finally expressive of human destiny in the whole mighty region, and which penetrated even to Halleck's sore and jaded thoughts. A different type of men began to show itself in the car, as the Western people gradually took the places of his fellow-travellers from the East. The men were often slovenly and sometimes uncouth in their dress; but they made themselves at home in the exaggerated splendor and opulence of the car, as if born to the best in every way; their faces suggested the security of people who trusted the future from the past, and had no fears of the life that had always used them well; they had not that eager and intense look which the Eastern faces wore; there was energy enough and to spare in them, but it was not an anxious energy. The sharp accent of the seaboard yielded to the rounded, soft, and slurring tones, and the prompt address was replaced by a careless and confident neighborliness of manner.
Halleck didn’t see Marcia again until the train had traveled far outside the city, moving through dense woods and then emerging into the open fields where farmers were maneuvering their sulky-plows back and forth in the warm afternoon sun. There was something about this shift from the old, laborious reliance on the land to a commanding control over it that struck those journeying westward as a true representation of human destiny across the vast countryside, and it even resonated with Halleck’s weary thoughts. A different kind of people began to appear in the train car as Westerners gradually replaced his fellow travelers from the East. The men often dressed casually and sometimes awkwardly; however, they seemed comfortable in the lavishness of the car, as if they were born into such luxury. Their expressions reflected the confidence of those who felt secure in their future based on their past, with no worries about a life that had always treated them well. They lacked the intense, eager look of Eastern faces; there was plenty of energy in them, but it was not anxious energy. The sharp accent of the coast was replaced by softer, more relaxed tones, and the quick exchanges of conversation gave way to a laid-back and friendly way of interacting.
Flavia fretted at her return to captivity in the car, and demanded to be released with a teasing persistence from which nothing she was shown out of the window could divert her. A large man leaned forward at last from a seat near by, and held out an orange. “Come here to me, little Trouble,” he said; and Flavia made an eager start toward this unlooked-for friend.
Flavia worried about going back to being trapped in the car and kept asking to be let out with a playful determination that nothing outside the window could distract her from. Finally, a big guy leaned in from a nearby seat and offered her an orange. “Come here to me, little Trouble,” he said; and Flavia eagerly moved toward this unexpected friend.
Marcia wished to check her; but Halleck pleaded to have her go. “It will be a relief to you,” he said.
Marcia wanted to check on her, but Halleck insisted that she should go. “It will be a relief for you,” he said.
“Well, let her go,” Marcia consented. “But she was no trouble, and she is no relief.” She sat looking dully at the little girl after the Westerner had gathered her up into his lap. “Should I have liked to tell her,” she said, as if thinking aloud, “how we were really going to meet her father, and that you were coming with me to be my witness against him in a court,—to put him down and disgrace him,—to fight him, as father says?”
“Well, let her go,” Marcia agreed. “But she was no trouble, and she is no help.” She sat staring blankly at the little girl after the Westerner had settled her in his lap. “Should I have told her,” she said, as if thinking out loud, “how we were really going to meet her dad, and that you were coming with me to testify against him in court—to take him down and shame him—to confront him, like Dad says?”
“You mustn't think of it in that way,” said Halleck, gently, but, as he felt, feebly and inadequately.
“You shouldn't think of it that way,” said Halleck, gently, but he felt it was weak and insufficient.
“Oh, I shall not think of it in that way long,” she answered. “My head is in a whirl, and I can't hold what we're doing before my mind in any one shape for a minute at a time. I don't know what will become of me,—I don't know what will become of me!”
“Oh, I won’t think about it that way for long,” she replied. “My head is spinning, and I can’t keep what we’re doing straight in my mind for even a minute. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me—I don’t know what’s going to happen to me!”
But in another breath she rose from this desolation, and was talking with impersonal cheerfulness of the sights that the car-window showed. As long as the light held, they passed through the same opulent and monotonous landscape; through little towns full of signs of material prosperity, and then farms, and farms again; the brick houses set in the midst of evergreens, and compassed by vast acreages of corn land, where herds of black pigs wandered, and the farmers were riding their ploughs, or heaping into vast windrows for burning the winter-worn stalks of the last year's crop. Where they came to a stream the landscape was roughened into low hills, from which it sank again luxuriously to a plain. If there was any difference between Ohio and Indiana, it was that in Indiana the spring night, whose breath softly buffeted their cheeks through the open window, had gathered over those eternal cornfields, where the long crooked windrows, burning on either hand, seemed a trail of fiery serpents writhing away from the train as it roared and clamored over the track.
But then she lifted herself out of this sadness and started talking with a neutral cheerfulness about the views outside the car window. As long as there was light, they traveled through the same rich yet dull landscape; past little towns displaying signs of material wealth, and then farms, and more farms; brick houses surrounded by evergreens and vast fields of corn, where groups of black pigs roamed, and farmers were plowing or piling up the winter-worn stalks from last year's harvest into huge rows for burning. When they approached a stream, the landscape turned into low hills, which then gradually descended luxuriously to a plain. If there was any difference between Ohio and Indiana, it was that in Indiana, the spring night, gently brushing their faces through the open window, had settled over those endless cornfields, where the long, winding windrows, burning on either side, looked like a trail of fiery snakes slithering away from the train as it thundered along the tracks.
They were to leave their car at Indianapolis, and take another road which would bring them to Tecumseh by daylight the next morning. Olive went away with the little girl, and put her to bed on the sofa in their state-room, and Marcia suffered them to go alone; it was only by fits that she had cared for the child, or even noticed it. “Now tell me again,” she said to Halleck, “why we are going.”
They were supposed to leave their car in Indianapolis and take a different route that would get them to Tecumseh by morning light. Olive took the little girl with her and put her to bed on the sofa in their state-room, while Marcia let them go by themselves; she only occasionally showed concern for the child or even paid attention to her. “Now tell me again,” she said to Halleck, “why we are going.”
“Surely you know.”
“Surely you know.”
“Yes, yes, I know; but I can't think,—I don't seem to remember. Didn't I give it up once? Didn't I say that I would rather go home, and let Bartley get the divorce, if he wanted?”
“Yes, yes, I know; but I can't think—I just can't remember. Didn’t I give it up once? Didn’t I say that I’d rather go home and let Bartley handle the divorce if he wanted?”
“Yes, you said that, Marcia.”
"Yeah, you said that, Marcia."
“I used to make him very unhappy; I was very strict with him, when I knew he couldn't bear any kind of strictness. And he was always so patient with me; though he never really cared for me. Oh, yes, I knew that from the first! He used to try; but he must have been glad to get away. Poor Bartley! It was cruel, cruel, to put that in about my abandoning him when he knew I would come back; but perhaps the lawyers told him he must; he had to put in something! Why shouldn't I let him go? Father said he only wanted to get rid of me, so that he could marry some one else—Yes, yes; it was that that made me start! Father knew it would! Oh,” she grieved, with a wild self-pity that tore Halleck's heart, “he knew it would!” She fell wearily back against the seat, and did not speak for some minutes. Then she said, in a slow, broken utterance: “But now I don't seem to mind even that, any more. Why shouldn't he marry some one else that he really likes, if he doesn't care for me?”
“I used to make him really unhappy; I was so strict with him, even when I knew he couldn’t handle any kind of strictness. And he was always so patient with me, even though he never truly cared for me. Oh, I knew that from the beginning! He tried, but he must have been relieved to escape. Poor Bartley! It was so cruel to mention my leaving him when he knew I would come back; but maybe the lawyers told him he had to include that—he needed to put something in! Why shouldn’t I let him go? Dad said he just wanted to be rid of me so he could marry someone else—Yeah, that’s what made me act! Dad knew it would! Oh,” she lamented, with a wild self-pity that broke Halleck's heart, “he knew it would!” She slumped back against the seat, silent for a few minutes. Then she said, in a slow, broken voice: “But now I don’t even seem to care about that anymore. Why shouldn’t he marry someone else he actually likes if he doesn’t care for me?”
Halleck laughed in bitterness of soul as his thought recurred to Atherton's reasons. “Because,” he said, “you have a public duty in the matter. You must keep him bound to you, for fear some other woman, whose husband doesn't care for her, should let him go, too, and society be broken up, and civilization destroyed. In a matter like this, which seems to concern yourself alone, you are only to regard others.”
Halleck laughed bitterly as he thought about Atherton's reasoning. “Because,” he said, “you have a public duty in this. You need to keep him tied to you, worried that some other woman, whose husband doesn't care about her, might let him go too, disrupting society and threatening civilization. In a situation like this, which appears to be about you alone, you have to consider others.”
His reckless irony did not reach her through her manifold sorrow. “Well,” she said, simply, “it must be that. But, oh! how can I bear it! how can I bear it!”
His careless sarcasm didn't break through her deep sadness. “Well,” she said, simply, “it must be that. But, oh! how can I stand it! how can I stand it!”
The time passed; Olive did not return for an hour; then she merely said that the little girl had just fallen asleep, and that she should go back and lie down with her; that she was sleepy too.
The time went by; Olive didn’t come back for an hour; then she just said that the little girl had just fallen asleep and that she should go back and lie down with her because she was tired too.
Marcia did not answer, but Halleck said he would call her in good time before they reached Indianapolis.
Marcia didn’t respond, but Halleck said he would call her in plenty of time before they got to Indianapolis.
The porter made up the berths of such as were going through to St. Louis, and Marcia was left sitting alone with Halleck. “I will go and get your father to come here,” he said.
The porter prepared the beds for those traveling to St. Louis, and Marcia sat alone with Halleck. “I’ll go get your dad to come here,” he said.
“I don't want him to come! I want to talk to you—to say something—What was it? I can't think!” She stopped, like one trying to recover a faded thought; he waited, but she did not speak again. She had laid a nervous clutch upon his arm, to detain him from going for her father, and she kept her hand there mechanically; but after a while he felt it relax; she drooped against him, and fell away into a sleep in which she started now and then like a frightened child. He could not release himself without waking her; but it did not matter; her sorrow had unsexed her; only the tenderness of his love for this hapless soul remained in his heart, which ached and evermore heavily sank within him.
“I don't want him to come! I want to talk to you—to say something—What was it? I can’t remember!” She stopped, as if trying to grasp a fleeting thought; he waited, but she didn’t say anything else. She had a anxious grip on his arm to stop him from going for her father, and she kept her hand there automatically; but after a while, he felt it loosen; she leaned against him, and slipped into a sleep where she stirred now and then like a scared child. He couldn’t pull away without waking her; but it didn’t matter; her sadness had drained her spirit; only the tenderness of his love for this unfortunate soul remained in his heart, which ached and sank heavier and heavier within him.
He woke her at last when he must go to tell Olive that they were running into Indianapolis. Marcia struggled to her feet: “Oh, oh! Are we there? Are we there?”
He finally woke her when he needed to go tell Olive that they were heading to Indianapolis. Marcia got up with effort: “Oh, oh! Are we there? Are we there?”
“We are at Indianapolis,” said Halleck.
"We're in Indy," said Halleck.
“I thought it was Tecumseh!” She shuddered. “We can go back; oh, yes, we can still go back!”
“I thought it was Tecumseh!” She shivered. “We can go back; oh, yes, we can still go back!”
They alighted from the train in the chilly midnight air, and found their way through the crowd to the eating-room of the station. The little girl cried with broken sleep and the strangeness, and Olive tried to quiet her. Marcia clung to Halleck's arm, and shivered convulsively. Squire Gaylord stalked beside them with a demoniac vigor. “A few more hours, a few more hours, sir!” he said. He made a hearty supper, while the rest scalded their mouths with hot tea, which they forced with loathing to their lips.
They got off the train in the cold midnight air and navigated through the crowd to the station's dining area. The little girl cried from being half-asleep and disoriented, and Olive tried to calm her down. Marcia held onto Halleck's arm and shivered uncontrollably. Squire Gaylord walked beside them with wild energy. “Just a few more hours, just a few more hours, sir!” he said. He enjoyed a hearty meal while the others burned their mouths with hot tea, which they reluctantly sipped.
Some women who were washing the floor of the ladies' waiting-room told them they must go into the men's room, and wait there for their train, which was due at one o'clock. They obeyed, and found the room full of emigrants, and the air thick with their tobacco smoke. There was no choice; Olive went in first and took the child on her lap, where it straightway fell asleep; the Squire found a seat beside them, and sat erect, looking round on the emigrants with the air of being amused at their outlandish speech, into which they burst clamorously from their silence at intervals. Marcia stopped Halleck at the threshold. “Stay out here with me,” she whispered. “I want to tell you something,” she added, as he turned mechanically and walked away with her up the vast lamp-shot darkness of the depot. “I am not going on! I am going back. We will take the train that goes to the East; father will never know till it is too late. We needn't speak to him about it—”
Some women who were cleaning the ladies' waiting room told them they had to go into the men's room and wait there for their train, which was due at one o'clock. They complied and found the room crowded with emigrants, the air thick with their tobacco smoke. There was no choice; Olive went in first and settled the child on her lap, where it immediately fell asleep. The Squire found a seat next to them and sat up straight, looking around at the emigrants with an amused expression at their strange speech, which they broke into loudly from their previous silence at intervals. Marcia stopped Halleck at the doorway. “Stay out here with me,” she whispered. “I want to tell you something,” she added as he automatically turned and walked away with her into the vast, dimly lit darkness of the depot. “I am not going on! I’m going back. We’ll take the train that goes East; father won’t find out until it’s too late. We don’t have to mention it to him—”
Halleck set himself against this delirious folly: he consented to her return; she could do what she would; but he would not consent to cheat her father. “We must go and tell him,” he said, for all answer to all her entreaties. He dragged her back to the waiting-room; but at the door she started at the figure of a man who was bending over a group of emigrant children asleep in the nearest corner,—poor, uncouth, stubbed little creatures, in old-mannish clothes, looking like children roughly blocked out of wood, and stiffly stretched on the floor, or resting woodenly against their mother.
Halleck opposed this crazy idea: he agreed to her return; she could do what she wanted; but he wouldn’t agree to deceive her father. “We need to go tell him,” he said, in response to all her pleas. He pulled her back to the waiting room; but at the door, she was startled by the sight of a man bent over a group of emigrant children asleep in the nearest corner—poor, awkward little kids, dressed in old-fashioned clothes, looking like they were roughly carved out of wood, stiffly sprawled on the floor or leaning awkwardly against their mother.
“There!” said the man, pressing a mug of coffee on the woman. “You drink that! It'll do you good,—every drop of it! I've seen the time,” he said, turning round with the mug, when she had drained it, in his hand, and addressing Marcia and Halleck as the most accessible portion of the English-speaking public, “when I used to be down on coffee; I thought it was bad for the nerves; but I tell you, when you're travelling it's a brain-food, if ever there was a brain—” He dropped the mug, and stumbled back into the heap of sleeping children, fixing a ghastly stare on Marcia.
“There!” said the man, handing a mug of coffee to the woman. “Drink that! It’ll do you good—every drop of it! I remember,” he said, turning around with the mug in hand after she finished it, addressing Marcia and Halleck, who were the closest people around, “when I used to be against coffee; I thought it was bad for the nerves; but let me tell you, when you’re traveling, it’s brain food, if there ever was such a thing—” He dropped the mug and stumbled back into the heap of sleeping children, staring at Marcia with a horrified expression.
She ran toward him. “Mr. Kinney!”
She ran toward him. "Mr. Kinney!"
“No, you don't!—no, you don't!”
“No way!—no way!”
“Why, don't you know me? Mrs. Hubbard?”
“Why, don’t you recognize me? Mrs. Hubbard?”
“He—he—told me you—was dead!” roared Kinney.
“He—he—told me you—were dead!” shouted Kinney.
“He told you I was dead?”
"He said I'm dead?"
“More'n a year ago! The last time I seen him! Before I went out to Leadville!”
"More than a year ago! The last time I saw him! Before I went out to Leadville!"
“He told you I was dead,” repeated Marcia huskily. “He must have wished it!” she whispered. “Oh, mercy, mercy, mercy!” She stopped, and then she broke into a wild laugh: “Well, you see he was wrong. I'm on my way to him now to show him that I'm alive!”
“He told you I was dead,” Marcia said hoarsely. “He must have wanted that!” she whispered. “Oh, please, please, please!” She paused, then burst into a crazy laugh: “Well, you see, he was wrong. I'm on my way to him now to prove that I'm alive!”
XL.
Halleck woke at daybreak from the drowse into which he had fallen. The train was creeping slowly over the track, feeling its way, and he heard fragments of talk among the passengers about a broken rail that the conductor had been warned of. He turned to ask some question, when the pull of rising speed came from the locomotive, and at the same moment the car stopped with a jolting pitch. It settled upon the track again; but the two cars in front were overturned, and the passengers were still climbing from their windows, when Halleck got his bewildered party to the ground. Children were crying, and a woman was led by with her face cut and bleeding from the broken glass; but it was reported that no one else was hurt, and the trainmen gave their helplessness to the inspection of the rotten cross-tie that had caused the accident. One of the passengers kicked the decayed wood with his boot. “Well,” he said, “I always like a little accident like this, early; it makes us safe the rest of the day.” The sentiment apparently commended itself to popular acceptance; Halleck went forward with part of the crowd to see what was the matter with the locomotive: it had kept the track, but seemed to be injured somehow; the engineer was working at it, hammer in hand; he exchanged some dry pleasantries with a passenger who asked him if there was any chance of hiring a real fast ox-team in that neighborhood, in case a man was in a hurry to get on to Tecumseh.
Halleck woke up at dawn from the doze he had fallen into. The train was slowly moving over the track, cautiously making its way, and he heard bits of conversation among the passengers about a broken rail that the conductor had been alerted to. He turned to ask a question when the train suddenly picked up speed, and at the same moment, the car jolted to a stop. It settled back onto the track, but the two cars in front had tipped over, and passengers were still climbing out of their windows when Halleck managed to get his confused group to the ground. Children were crying, and a woman was being led away with her face cut and bleeding from the shattered glass; however, it was reported that no one else was injured, and the train crew was inspecting the rotting cross-tie that had caused the accident. One of the passengers kicked the decayed wood with his boot. “Well,” he said, “I always appreciate a little accident like this early on; it keeps us safe for the rest of the day.” This sentiment seemed to resonate with others; Halleck moved forward with part of the crowd to see what was wrong with the locomotive: it had remained on the track but seemed to be damaged in some way; the engineer was working on it, hammer in hand, and he exchanged some dry jokes with a passenger who asked him if there was any chance of hiring a real fast ox-team in the area, in case someone needed to get to Tecumseh quickly.
They were in the midst of a level prairie that stretched all round to the horizon, where it was broken by patches of timber; the rising sun slanted across the green expanse, and turned its distance to gold; the grass at their feet was full of wild-flowers, upon which Flavia flung herself as soon as they got out of the car. By the time Halleck returned to them, she was running with cries of joy and wonder toward a windmill that rose beautiful above the roofs of a group of commonplace houses, at a little distance from the track; it stirred its mighty vans in the thin, sweet inland breeze, and took the sun gayly on the light gallery that encircled it.
They were in the middle of a flat prairie that stretched all around to the horizon, where it was broken by patches of trees; the rising sun slanted across the green expanse, turning the distance to gold; the grass at their feet was full of wildflowers, and Flavia threw herself onto it as soon as they got out of the car. By the time Halleck returned to them, she was running with shouts of joy and wonder toward a windmill that beautifully rose above the roofs of a cluster of ordinary houses, a little way off the track; it turned its huge blades in the light, sweet inland breeze and caught the sun cheerfully on the light gallery that wrapped around it.
A vision of Belgian plains swept before Halleck's eyes. “There ought to be storks on its roof,” he said, absently.
A vision of Belgian plains flashed before Halleck's eyes. “There should be storks on its roof,” he said, absentmindedly.
“How strange that it should be here, away out in the West!” said Olive.
“How strange that it’s here, all the way out in the West!” said Olive.
“If it were less strange than we are, here, I couldn't stand it,” he answered.
“If it were less strange than we are here, I couldn't handle it,” he replied.
A brakeman came up with a flag in his hand, and nodded toward Flavia. “She's on the right track for breakfast,” he said. “There's an old Dutchman at that mill, and his wife knows how to make coffee like a fellow's mother. You'll have plenty of time. This train has come here to stay—till somebody can walk back five miles and telegraph for help.”
A brakeman approached with a flag in his hand and nodded toward Flavia. “She's headed in the right direction for breakfast,” he said. “There's an old Dutch guy at that mill, and his wife knows how to make coffee like your mom. You’ve got plenty of time. This train is here to stay—until someone can walk five miles back and send a telegram for help.”
“How far are we from Tecumseh?” asked Halleck.
“How far are we from Tecumseh?” Halleck asked.
“Fifty miles,” the brakeman called back over his shoulder.
“Fifty miles,” the brakeman shouted back.
“Don't you worry any, Marcia,” said her father, moving off in pursuit of Flavia. “This accident makes it all right for us, if we don't get there for a week.”
“Don’t worry, Marcia,” her father said as he headed off after Flavia. “This accident works in our favor, even if it takes us a week to get there.”
Marcia answered nothing. Halleck began to talk to her of that Belgian landscape in which he had first seen a windmill, and he laughed at the blank unintelligence with which she received his reminiscences of travel. For the moment, the torturing stress was lifted from his soul; he wished that the breakfast in the miller's house might never come to an end; he explored the mill with Flavia; he bantered the Squire on his saturnine preference for steam power in the milling business; he made the others share his mood; he pushed far from him the series of tragic or squalid facts which had continually brought the end to him in reveries in which he found himself holding his breath, as if he might hold it till the end really came.
Marcia didn’t say anything. Halleck started talking to her about that Belgian landscape where he first saw a windmill, and he laughed at the empty look on her face as she took in his travel stories. For a moment, the heavy weight on his soul lifted; he wished that breakfast at the miller’s house would never end. He explored the mill with Flavia, teased the Squire about his gloomy preference for steam power in milling, and got everyone else to join his cheerful mood. He pushed aside the series of tragic or grim facts that had consistently pulled him into dark thoughts, making him hold his breath as if he could keep it until the end actually came.
But this respite could not last. A puff of white steam showed on the horizon, and after an interval the sound of the locomotive whistle reached them, as it came backing down a train of empty cars towards them. They were quickly on their journey again, and a scanty hour before noon they arrived at Tecumseh.
But this break couldn't last. A puff of white steam appeared on the horizon, and after a moment, the sound of the train whistle reached them as it backed down a line of empty cars toward them. They were quickly on their way again, and just an hour before noon, they arrived at Tecumseh.
The pretty town, which in prospect had worn to Olive Halleck's imagination the blended hideousness of Sodom and Gomorrah, was certainly very much more like a New England village in fact. After the brick farmsteads and coal-smoked towns of Central Ohio, its wooden houses, set back from the street with an ample depth of door-yard, were appealingly familiar, and she exchanged some homesick whispers with Marcia about them, as they drove along under the full-leaved maples which shadowed the way. The grass was denser and darker than in New England, and, pretty as the town was, it wore a more careless and unscrupulous air than the true New England village; the South had touched it, and here and there it showed a wavering line of fence and a faltering conscientiousness in its paint. Presently all aspects of village quiet and seclusion ceased, and a section of conventional American city, with flab-roofed brick blocks, showy hotel, stores, paved street, and stone sidewalks expressed the readiness of Tecumseh to fulfil the destiny of every Western town, and become a metropolis at a day's notice, if need be. The second-hand omnibus, which reflected the actuality of Tecumseh, set them down at the broad steps of the court-house, fronting on an avenue which for a city street was not very crowded or busy. Such passers as there were had leisure and inclination, as they loitered by, to turn and stare at the strangers; and the voice of the sheriff, as he called from an upper window of the court-house the names of absentee litigants or witnesses required to come into court, easily made itself heard above all the other noises.
The pretty town, which in Olive Halleck's imagination seemed like a mix of Sodom and Gomorrah, was actually much more similar to a New England village. After the brick farmhouses and coal-smudged towns of Central Ohio, its wooden houses, set back from the street with decent-sized yards, felt refreshingly familiar. She shared some nostalgic whispers with Marcia about them as they drove under the leafy maples that shaded the road. The grass was thicker and darker than in New England, and while the town was charming, it had a more laid-back and carefree vibe than a typical New England village; the South had influenced it, and here and there, the fence lines wobbled and the paint showed signs of neglect. Soon, the peaceful and secluded village feel faded away, giving way to a section of typical American city life, with flat-roofed brick buildings, flashy hotels, shops, paved streets, and stone sidewalks, demonstrating Tecumseh's readiness to embrace its destiny as every Western town does, ready to become a metropolis at a moment's notice if necessary. The second-hand bus, which reflected the reality of Tecumseh, dropped them off at the wide steps of the courthouse, facing an avenue that wasn’t very crowded or busy for a city street. The few passersby there were took their time and seemed curious, turning to look at the newcomers; and the sheriff's voice, calling out from an upper window of the courthouse the names of absent litigants or witnesses needed in court, easily cut through the other sounds.
It seemed to Halleck as if the sheriff were calling them; he lifted his head and looked at Olive, but she would not meet his eye; she led by the hand the little girl, who kept asking, “Is this the house where papa lives?” with the merciless iteration of a child. Halleck dragged lamely after the Squire, who had mounted the steps with unnatural vigor; he promptly found his way to the clerk's office, where he examined the docket, and then returned to his party triumphant. “We are in time,” he said, and he led them on up into the court-room.
It felt to Halleck like the sheriff was calling them; he raised his head and glanced at Olive, but she wouldn’t look at him; she held the little girl’s hand, who kept asking, “Is this the house where dad lives?” with the relentless repetition of a child. Halleck limped after the Squire, who had climbed the steps with unnatural energy; he quickly found his way to the clerk's office, where he checked the docket, and then returned to his group, triumphant. “We’re on time,” he said, and he led them up into the courtroom.
A few spectators, scattered about on the rows of benching, turned to look at them as they walked up the aisle, where the cocoa matting, soaked and dried, and soaked again, with perpetual libations of tobacco-juice, mercifully silenced their footsteps; most of the faces turned upon them showed a slow and thoughtful movement of the jaws, and, as they were dropped or averted, a general discharge of tobacco-juice seemed to express the general adoption of the new-comers, whoever they were, as a necessary element of the scene, which it was useless to oppose, and about which it was idle to speculate. Before the Squire had found his party seats on one of the benches next the bar, the spectators had again given their languid attention to the administration of justice, which is everywhere informal with us, and is only a little more informal in the West than in the East. An effect of serene disoccupation pervaded the place, such as comes at the termination of an interesting affair; and no one seemed to care for what the clerk was reading aloud in a set, mechanical tone. The judge was busy with his docket; the lawyers, at their several little tables within the bar, lounged in their chairs, or stalked about laughing and whispering to each other; the prosecuting attorney leaned upon the shoulder of a jolly-looking man, who lifted his face to joke up at him, as he tilted his chair back; a very stout, youngish person, who sat next him, kept his face dropped while the clerk proceeded:—
A few spectators, scattered across the rows of benches, turned to watch them as they walked up the aisle, where the cocoa matting, soaked and dried and soaked again with constant spills of tobacco juice, muffled their footsteps; most of the faces that turned toward them showed a slow, thoughtful movement of the jaws, and as they dropped or turned away, a general spit of tobacco juice seemed to indicate that the newcomers, whoever they were, were accepted as a necessary part of the scene, which it was pointless to resist and about which it was pointless to wonder. Before the Squire had found his party’s seats on one of the benches next to the bar, the spectators had once again given their lazy attention to the administration of justice, which is generally informal for us, and only a bit more casual in the West than in the East. A sense of peaceful disinterest filled the place, as if something interesting had just wrapped up; no one seemed to care what the clerk was reading aloud in a rigid, mechanical tone. The judge was busy with his schedule; the lawyers, at their individual little tables within the bar, lounged in their chairs, or walked around laughing and whispering to each other; the prosecuting attorney leaned on the shoulder of a cheerful-looking guy, who tilted his chair back and joked with him; a very stout, younger person sitting next to him kept his face down while the clerk continued:—
“And now, on motion of plaintiff, it is ordered by the Court that said defendant be now here three times called, which is done in open court, and she comes not; but wholly makes default herein. And this cause is now submitted to the Court for trial, and the Court having heard the evidence, and being fully advised, find for the plaintiff,—that the allegations of his complaint are true, and that he is entitled to a divorce. It is therefore considered by the Court, that said plaintiff be and he is hereby divorced, and the bonds of matrimony heretofore existing between said parties are dissolved and held for naught.”
“Now, based on the plaintiff's motion, the Court orders that the defendant be called three times, which is done in open court, but she does not respond and completely defaults here. This case is now submitted to the Court for trial, and after hearing the evidence and being fully informed, the Court finds in favor of the plaintiff — that the claims in his complaint are true, and he is entitled to a divorce. Therefore, the Court rules that the plaintiff is hereby divorced, and the marriage bonds previously existing between the parties are dissolved and considered void.”
As the clerk closed the large volume before him, the jolly lawyer, as if the record had been read at his request, nodded to the Court, and said, “The record of the decree seems correct, your honor.” He leaned forward, and struck the fat man's expanse of back with the flat of his hand. “Congratulate you, my dear boy!” he said in a stage whisper that was heard through the room. “Many happy returns of the day!”
As the clerk closed the big book in front of him, the cheerful lawyer, as if the record had been read at his request, nodded to the Court and said, “The record of the decree looks correct, your honor.” He leaned forward and tapped the overweight man's back with his hand. “Congratulations, my dear friend!” he said in a stage whisper that echoed throughout the room. “Wishing you many happy returns of the day!”
A laugh went round, and the judge said severely, “Mr. Sheriff, see that order is kept in the courtroom.”
A laugh spread through the room, and the judge said sternly, “Mr. Sheriff, make sure that order is maintained in the courtroom.”
The fat man rose to shake hands with another friend, and at the same moment Squire Gaylord stretched himself to his full height before stooping over to touch the shoulder of one of the lawyers within the bar, and his eyes encountered those of Bartley Hubbard in mutual recognition.
The fat man stood up to shake hands with another friend, and at the same time, Squire Gaylord straightened up to his full height before leaning down to tap the shoulder of one of the lawyers at the bar, and his eyes met Bartley Hubbard's in a moment of mutual recognition.
It was not the fat on Bartley's ribs only that had increased: his broad cheeks stood out and hung down with it, and his chin descended by the three successive steps to his breast. His complexion was of a tender pink, on which his blonde moustache showed white; it almost vanished in the tallowy pallor to which the pink turned as he saw his father-in-law, and then the whole group which the intervening spectators had hitherto hidden from him. He dropped back into his chair, and intimated to his lawyer, with a wave of his hand and a twist of his head, that some hopeless turn in his fortunes had taken place. That jolly soul turned to him for explanation, and at the same time the lawyer whom Squire Gaylord had touched on the shoulder responded to a few whispered words from him by beckoning to the prosecuting attorney, who stepped briskly across to where they stood. A brief dumb-show ensued, and the prosecutor ended by taking the Squire's hand, and inviting him within the bar; the other attorney politely made room for him at his table, and the prosecutor returned to his place near the jury-box, where he remained standing for a moment.
It wasn't just the fat on Bartley's ribs that had increased; his broad cheeks were fuller and hung down, and his chin had three distinct rolls leading down to his chest. His complexion had a soft pink hue, against which his blonde mustache appeared white; it nearly disappeared into the waxy pallor the pink turned when he saw his father-in-law and then the whole group that the spectators had been blocking from his view. He sank back into his chair and signaled to his lawyer with a wave of his hand and a tilt of his head that something unfortunate had happened with his situation. The cheerful lawyer turned to him for an explanation, while at the same time, the lawyer whom Squire Gaylord had tapped on the shoulder responded to a few murmured words from him by gesturing to the prosecuting attorney, who quickly came over to where they were. A brief silent exchange followed, and the prosecutor ended by shaking the Squire's hand and inviting him inside the bar; the other attorney politely made space for him at his table, while the prosecutor returned to his spot near the jury box, standing there for a moment.
“If it please the Court,” he began, in a voice breaking heavily upon the silence that had somehow fallen upon the whole room, “I wish to state that the defendant in the case of Hubbard vs. Hubbard is now and here present, having been prevented by an accident on the road between this place and Indianapolis from arriving in time to make defence. She desires to move the Court to set aside the default.”
“If it pleases the Court,” he began, his voice breaking the heavy silence that had settled over the room, “I want to state that the defendant in the case of Hubbard vs. Hubbard is here and present, having been delayed by an accident on the road between here and Indianapolis, which prevented her from arriving on time to mount her defense. She requests that the Court set aside the default.”
The prosecutor retired a few paces, and nodded triumphantly at Bartley's lawyer, who could not wholly suppress his enjoyment of the joke, though it told so heavily against him and his client. But he was instantly on his feet with a technical objection.
The prosecutor stepped back a few paces and smirked triumphantly at Bartley's lawyer, who couldn't completely hide his amusement at the joke, even though it was a big blow to him and his client. But he quickly rose to his feet with a technical objection.
The judge heard him through, and then opened his docket, at the case of Hubbard vs. Hubbard. “What name shall I enter for the defence?” he inquired formally.
The judge listened to him and then opened his docket to the case of Hubbard vs. Hubbard. “What name should I put down for the defense?” he asked formally.
Squire Gaylord turned with an old-fashioned state and deliberation which had their effect, and cast a glance of professional satisfaction in the situation at the attorneys and the spectators. “I ask to be allowed to appear for the defence in this case, if the Court please. My friend, Mr. Hathaway, will move my admission to this bar.”
Squire Gaylord turned with an old-fashioned poise and carefulness that caught attention, and he looked at the attorneys and spectators with a sense of professional satisfaction. “If it pleases the Court, I would like to request permission to represent the defense in this case. My colleague, Mr. Hathaway, will move for my admission to this bar.”
The attorney to whom the Squire had first introduced himself promptly complied: “Your honor, I move the admission of Mr. F. J. Gaylord, of Equity, Equity County, Maine, to practise at this bar.”
The attorney who the Squire had first introduced himself to quickly agreed: “Your honor, I request that Mr. F. J. Gaylord from Equity, Equity County, Maine, be allowed to practice in this court.”
The judge bowed to the Squire, and directed the clerk to administer the usual oath. “I have entered your name for the defence, Mr. Gaylord. Do you desire to make any motion in the case?” he pursued, the natural courtesy of his manner further qualified by a feeling which something pathetic in the old Squire's bearing inspired.
The judge nodded to the Squire and told the clerk to give the standard oath. “I’ve registered your name for the defense, Mr. Gaylord. Do you want to make any motions in this case?” he continued, his natural politeness enhanced by a sentiment stirred by something touching in the old Squire's demeanor.
“Yes, your honor, I move to set aside the default, and I shall offer in support of this motion my affidavit, setting forth the reasons for the non-appearance of the defendant at the calling of the cause.”
“Yes, your honor, I request to overturn the default, and I will provide my affidavit to support this motion, outlining the reasons for the defendant’s absence when the case was called.”
“Shall I note your motion as filed?” asked the Judge.
“Should I record your motion as submitted?” asked the Judge.
“Yes, your honor,” replied the old man. He made a futile attempt to prepare the paper; the pen flew out of his trembling hand. “I can't write,” he said in despair that made other hands quick to aid him. A young lawyer at the next desk rapidly drew up the paper, and the Squire duly offered it to the clerk of the Court. The clerk stamped it with the file-mark of the Court, and returned it to the Squire, who read aloud the motion and affidavit, setting forth the facts of the defendant's failure to receive the notice in time to prepare for her defence, and of the accident which had contributed to delay her appearance, declaring that she had a just defence to the plaintiff's bill, and asking to be heard upon the facts.
“Yes, Your Honor,” replied the old man. He made a useless attempt to prepare the paper; the pen slipped from his shaking hand. “I can’t write,” he said in despair, prompting others to quickly help him. A young lawyer at the next desk quickly drafted the paper, and the Squire properly offered it to the court clerk. The clerk stamped it with the court’s file mark and returned it to the Squire, who read aloud the motion and affidavit, outlining the facts of the defendant’s failure to receive the notice in time to prepare her defense, and the accident that had caused the delay in her appearance, stating that she had a valid defense to the plaintiff’s claim, and requesting to be heard on the facts.
Bartley's attorney was prompt to interpose again. He protested that the printed advertisement was sufficient notice to the defendant, whenever it came to her knowledge, or even if it never came to her knowledge, and that her plea of failure to receive it in time was not a competent excuse. This might be alleged in any case, and any delay of travel might be brought forward to account for non-appearance as plausibly as this trumped-up accident in which nobody was hurt. He did his best, which was also his worst, and the judge once more addressed the Squire, who stood waiting for Bartley's counsel to close. “I was about to adjourn the Court,” said the judge, in that accent which is the gift of the South to some parts of the West; it is curiously soft and gentle, and expressive, when the speaker will, of a caressing deference. “But we have still some minutes before noon in which we can hear you in support of your motion, if you are ready.”
Bartley's lawyer quickly jumped in again. He argued that the printed advertisement was enough notice for the defendant, whether she saw it or not, and that her claim of not receiving it in time was not a valid excuse. This could be claimed in any case, and any travel delay could be used as an excuse for not showing up, just as easily as this made-up accident where no one was injured. He did his best, which wasn’t very good, and the judge turned to the Squire, who was waiting for Bartley's lawyer to finish. “I was about to adjourn the Court,” said the judge, in that accent that the South lends to some parts of the West; it's oddly soft, gentle, and expressive, when the speaker wants it to be, with a kind of respectful charm. “But we still have a few minutes before noon during which we can hear your argument for your motion, if you're ready.”
“I am m-ready, your honor!” The old man's nasals cut across the judge's rounded tones, almost before they had ceased. His lips compressed themselves to a waving line, and his high hawk-beak came down over them; the fierce light burned in his cavernous eyes, and his grizzled hair erected itself like a crest. He swayed slightly back and forth at the table, behind which he stood, and paused as if waiting for his hate to gather head.
“I’m ready, your honor!” The old man's voice sliced through the judge's smooth tones almost before they had ended. His lips pressed together into a wavy line, and his sharp nose came down over them; a fierce light burned in his deep-set eyes, and his gray hair stood up like a crest. He swayed slightly back and forth at the table behind which he stood, pausing as if waiting for his anger to boil over.
In this interval it struck several of the spectators, who had appreciative friends outside, that it was a pity they should miss the coming music, and they risked the loss of some strains themselves that they might step out and inform these dilettanti. One of them was stopped by a man at the door. “What's up, now?” The other impatiently explained; but the inquirer, instead of hurrying in to enjoy the fun, turned quickly about, and ran down the stairs. He crossed the street, and, by a system of alleys and byways, modestly made his way to the outlying fields of Tecumseh, which he traversed at heightened speed, plunging at last into the belt of timber beyond. This excursion, which had so much the appearance of a chase, was an exigency of the witness who had corroborated on oath the testimony of Bartley in regard to his wife's desertion. Such an establishment of facts, purely imaginary with the witness, was simple enough in the absence of rebutting testimony; but confronted with this, it became another affair; it had its embarrassments, its risks.
During this time, several spectators, who had friends waiting outside, thought it was a shame they would miss the upcoming music. They risked missing out on some of it themselves by stepping out to let these dilettanti know. One of them was stopped by a man at the door. “What’s going on?” The other impatiently explained, but instead of rushing in to enjoy the fun, the inquirer quickly turned around and ran down the stairs. He crossed the street and, using a series of alleys and side streets, made his way modestly to the outskirts of Tecumseh, which he crossed quickly, finally plunging into the woods beyond. This detour, which looked very much like a chase, was necessitated by the witness who had sworn to back up Bartley's account regarding his wife's abandonment. Establishing these facts, which were completely fictional for the witness, seemed straightforward without any opposing testimony; but when faced with that, it turned into something else entirely, bringing its own complications and risks.
“M-ready,” repeated Squire Gay lord, “m-ready with facts and witnesses!” The word, in which he exulted till it rang and echoed through the room, drew the eyes of all to the little group on the bench next the bar, where Marcia, heavily veiled in the black which she had worn ever since Bartley's disappearance, sat with Halleck and Olive. The little girl, spent with her long journey, rested her head on her mother's lap, and the mother's hand tremulously smoothed her hair, and tried to hush the grieving whisper in which she incessantly repeated, “Where is papa? I want to see papa!”
“Ready,” repeated Squire Gaylord, “ready with facts and witnesses!” The word, in which he took such pride that it resonated through the room, drew everyone's attention to the small group on the bench next to the bar, where Marcia, heavily veiled in the black she had worn since Bartley's disappearance, sat with Halleck and Olive. The little girl, exhausted from her long journey, rested her head on her mother's lap, and the mother’s hand gently smoothed her hair, trying to quiet the grieving whisper in which she kept repeating, “Where is papa? I want to see papa!”
Olive looked straight before her, and Halleck's eyes were fixed upon the floor. After the first glance at them Bartley did not lift his head, but held it bent forward where he sat, and showed only a fold of fat red neck above his coat-collar. Marcia might have seen his face in that moment before it blanched and he sank into his chair; she did not look toward him again.
Olive stared straight ahead, while Halleck's gaze was glued to the floor. After the initial glance, Bartley didn’t raise his head but kept it lowered, revealing just a roll of his chubby red neck above his coat collar. Marcia might have caught a glimpse of his face in that instant before it went pale and he slumped into his chair; she didn’t look his way again.
“Mr. Sheriff, keep silence in the Court!” ordered the judge, in reprimand of the stir that ensued upon the general effort to catch sight of the witnesses.
“Mr. Sheriff, keep quiet in the Court!” ordered the judge, reprimanding the commotion caused by everyone trying to see the witnesses.
“Silence in the Court! Keep your seats, gentlemen!” cried the sheriff.
“Silence in the Court! Please remain seated, everyone!” shouted the sheriff.
“And I thank the Court,” resumed the Squire, “for this immediate opportunity to redress an atrocious wrong, and to vindicate an innocent and injured woman. Sir, I think it will prejudice our cause with no one, when I say that we are here not only in the relation of attorney and client, but in that of father and daughter, and that I stand in this place singularly and sacredly privileged to demand justice for my own child!”
“And I thank the Court,” continued the Squire, “for this immediate chance to set right an awful wrong and to defend an innocent and harmed woman. Sir, I don’t think it will hurt our case with anyone when I say that we are here not just as attorney and client, but as father and daughter, and that I stand here uniquely and solemnly privileged to demand justice for my own child!”
“Order, order!” shouted the sheriff. But he could not quell the sensation that followed; the point had been effectively made, and it was some moments before the noise of the people beginning to arrive from the outside permitted the Squire to continue. He waited, with one lean hand hanging at his side, and the other resting in a loosely folded fist on the table before him. He took this fist up as if it were some implement he had laid hold of, and swung it in the air.
“Order, order!” shouted the sheriff. But he couldn't silence the buzz that followed; the point had been clearly made, and it took a few moments before the noise of people coming in from outside allowed the Squire to continue. He waited, with one thin hand hanging at his side and the other resting in a loosely clenched fist on the table in front of him. He picked up this fist as if it were some tool he had grabbed and swung it through the air.
“By a chance which I shall not be the last to describe as providential,”—he paused, and looked round the room as if defying any one there to challenge the sincerity of his assertion,—“the notice, which your law requires to be given by newspaper advertisement to the non-resident defendant in such a case as this, came, by one chance in millions, to her hand. By one chance more or less, it would not have reached her, and a monstrous crime against justice would have been irrevocably accomplished. For she had mourned this man as dead,—dead to the universal frame of things, when he was only dead to honor, dead to duty, and dead to her; and it was that newspaper, sent almost at random through the mail, and wandering from hand to hand, and everywhere rejected, for weeks, before it reached her at last, which convinced her that he was still in such life as a man may live who has survived his own soul. We are therefore here, standing upon our right, and prepared to prove it God's right, and the everlasting truth. Two days ago, a thousand miles and a thousand uncertainties intervened between us and this right, but now we are here to show that the defendant, basely defamed by the plea of abandonment, returned to her home within an hour after she had parted there with the plaintiff, and has remained there day and night ever since.” He stopped. “Did I say she had never absented herself during all this time? I was wrong. I spoke hastily. I forgot.” He dropped his voice. “She did absent herself at one time,—for three days,—while she could come home to close her mother's dying eyes, and help me to lay her in the grave!” He tried to close his lips firmly again, but the sinuous line was broken by a convulsive twitching. “Perhaps,” he resumed with the utmost gentleness, “the plaintiff returned in this interval, and, finding her gone, was confirmed in his belief that she had abandoned him.”
“By a chance that I won’t be the last to call lucky,”—he paused and looked around the room as if daring anyone to doubt the truth of his statement,—“the notice that your law says must be given through a newspaper advertisement to the non-resident defendant in this situation made its way to her. By another stroke of luck, it might not have reached her, and a terrible injustice would have been done. She had mourned this man as if he were dead—dead to everything in the world, when he was only dead to honor, duty, and to her; and it was that newspaper, sent almost randomly through the mail, passing from hand to hand, and getting rejected everywhere for weeks before it finally found her, that convinced her he was still alive, though perhaps only in a way that a man can exist after losing his own soul. So here we are, standing on our right and ready to prove it’s God’s right and the everlasting truth. Just two days ago, a thousand miles and countless uncertainties stood between us and this right, but now we are here to show that the defendant, wrongfully accused of abandoning her, returned to her home within an hour after parting ways with the plaintiff and has stayed there day and night ever since.” He paused. “Did I say she never left during this time? I was mistaken. I spoke too quickly. I forgot.” His voice lowered. “She did leave once—for three days—so she could come home to close her mother’s eyes as she died and help me lay her to rest!” He tried to close his lips firmly again, but the straight line was broken by a spasm. “Perhaps,” he continued gently, “the plaintiff came back during this time and, finding her gone, believed she had abandoned him.”
He felt blindly about on the table with his trembling hands, and his whole figure had a pathos that gave the old dress-coat statuesque dignity. The spectators quietly changed their places, and occupied the benches near him, till Bartley was left sitting alone with his counsel. We are beginning to talk here at the East of the decline of oratory; but it is still a passion in the West, and his listeners now clustered about the Squire in keen appreciation of his power; it seemed to summon even the loiterers in the street, whose ascending tramp on the stairs continually made itself heard; the lawyers, the officers of the court, the judge, forgot their dinner, and posed themselves anew in their chairs to listen.
He groped around the table with his shaking hands, and his whole presence had a sadness that gave the old dress coat a noble elegance. The onlookers quietly shifted their positions, filling the benches next to him, until Bartley was left sitting alone with his lawyer. We’re starting to talk in the East about the decline of public speaking, but it’s still a strong passion in the West, and his audience now gathered around the Squire, genuinely appreciating his skill; it seemed to draw in even the people lingering outside, whose footsteps on the stairs could be heard increasingly; the lawyers, court officers, and the judge all forgot their dinner and resettled in their chairs to listen.
No doubt the electrical sphere of sympathy and admiration penetrated to the old man's consciousness. When he pulled off his black satin stock—the relic of ancient fashion which the piety of his daughter kept in repair—and laid it on the table, there was a deep inarticulate murmur of satisfaction which he could not have mistaken. His voice rose again:—
No doubt the electric vibe of sympathy and admiration reached the old man's awareness. When he took off his black satin necktie—the remnant of a past style that his daughter's dedication kept in good shape—and placed it on the table, there was a deep, inarticulate murmur of satisfaction that he couldn't have misinterpreted. His voice rose again:—
“If the plaintiff indeed came at that time, the walls of those empty rooms, into which he peered like a thief in the night, might have told him—if walls had tongues to speak as they have ears to hear—a tale that would have melted even his heart with remorse and shame. They might have told him of a woman waiting in hunger and cold for his return, and willing to starve and freeze, rather than own herself forsaken,—waiting till she was hunted from her door by the creditors whom he had defrauded, and forced to confess her disgrace and her despair, in order to save herself from the unknown terrors of the law, invoked upon her innocent head by his villany. This is the history of the first two weeks of those two years, during which, as his perjured lips have sworn, he was using every effort to secure her return to him. I will not enlarge now upon this history, nor upon that of the days and weeks and months that followed, wringing the heart and all but crazing the brain of the wife who would not, in the darkest hours of her desolation, believe herself wilfully abandoned. But we have the record, unbroken and irrefragable, which shall not only right his victim, but shall bring yonder perjurer to justice.”
“If the plaintiff really came at that time, the walls of those empty rooms, which he peered into like a thief in the night, might have told him—if walls could talk like they can hear—a story that would have melted even his heart with regret and shame. They might have told him about a woman waiting in hunger and cold for his return, willing to starve and freeze rather than admit she was abandoned—waiting until she was chased away from her door by the creditors he had cheated, and forced to reveal her disgrace and despair to protect herself from the unknown horrors of the law, brought down upon her innocent head by his wrongdoing. This is the story of the first two weeks of those two years, during which, as his lying lips have sworn, he was trying hard to bring her back to him. I won’t go into detail now about this story, or about the days, weeks, and months that followed, torturing the heart and nearly driving the wife insane who wouldn’t, in her darkest moments of despair, believe she was intentionally abandoned. But we have the record, unbroken and undeniable, that will not only vindicate his victim but will also bring that liar to justice.”
The words had an iron weight; they fell like blows. Bartley did not stir; but Marcia moved uneasily in her chair, and a low pitiful murmur broke from behind her veil. Her father stopped again, panting, and his dry lips closed and parted several times before he could find his voice again. But at that sound of grief he partially recovered himself, and went on brokenly.
The words felt heavy; they landed like punches. Bartley stayed still; however, Marcia shifted uncomfortably in her chair, and a faint, sorrowful murmur escaped from behind her veil. Her father paused again, out of breath, and his dry lips moved several times before he found his voice again. But at the sound of her grief, he partially regained his composure and continued speaking, though it was fragmented.
“I now ask this Court, for due cause, to set aside the default upon which judgment has been rendered against the defendant, and I shall then ask leave to file her cross-petition for divorce.”
“I now ask this Court, for valid reasons, to overturn the default that led to the judgment against the defendant, and I will then request permission to submit her cross-petition for divorce.”
Marcia started half-way from her chair, and then fell back again; she looked round at Halleck as if for help, and hid her face in her hands. Her father cast a glance at her as if for her approval of this development of his plan.
Marcia started to get up from her chair but then sat back down; she looked over at Halleck as if seeking help and covered her face with her hands. Her father glanced at her, looking for her approval of this new turn in his plan.
“Then, may it please the Court, upon the rendition of judgment in our favor upon that petition—a result of which I have no more doubt than of my own existence—I shall demand under your law the indictment of yonder perjurer for his crime, and I shall await in security the sentence which shall consign him to a felon's cell in a felon's garb—”
“Then, if it pleases the Court, once we receive a judgment in our favor on that petition—something I have no doubt about, just like I have no doubt about my own existence—I will request, according to your law, the indictment of that liar over there for his crime, and I will wait safely for the sentence that will send him to a criminal’s cell in a criminal’s outfit—”
Marcia flung herself upon her father's arm, outstretched toward Bartley. “No! No! No!” she cried, with deep, shuddering breaths, in a voice thick with horror. “Never! Let him go! I will not have it! I didn't understand! I never meant to harm him! Let him go! It is my cause, and I say—”
Marcia threw herself onto her father's arm, reaching out toward Bartley. “No! No! No!” she shouted, taking deep, shuddering breaths, her voice filled with horror. “Never! Let him go! I won’t allow it! I didn’t understand! I never meant to hurt him! Let him go! This is my cause, and I say—”
The old man's arm dropped; he fixed a ghastly, bewildered look upon his daughter, and fell forward across the table at which he stood. The judge started from his chair; the people leaped over the benches, and crushed about the Squire, who fetched his breath in convulsive gasps. “Keep back!” “Give him air!” “Open the window!” “Get a doctor!” cried those next him.
The old man's arm dropped; he stared in shock and confusion at his daughter and collapsed forward onto the table he was standing at. The judge jumped from his chair; the crowd rushed over the benches, crowding around the Squire, who struggled to catch his breath in frantic gasps. “Step back!” “Give him some air!” “Open a window!” “Get a doctor!” yelled those nearby.
Even Bartley's counsel had joined the crowd about the Squire, from the midst of which broke the long, frightened wail of a child. This was Bartley's opportunity. When his counsel turned to look for him, and advise his withdrawal from a place where he could do no good, and where possibly he might come to harm, he found that his advice had been anticipated: Bartley's chair was vacant.
Even Bartley's lawyer had joined the group around the Squire, from which came the long, terrified cry of a child. This was Bartley's chance. When his lawyer turned to look for him and suggest he leave a place where he could do no good and where he might get hurt, he realized his advice had already been taken: Bartley's chair was empty.
XLI.
That night when Halleck had left the old man to the care of Marcia and Olive, for the time, a note was brought to him from Bartley's lawyer, begging the favor of a few moments' interview on very important business. It might be some offer of reparation or advance in Marcia's interest, and Halleck went with the bearer of the note. The lawyer met him hospitably at the door of his office. “How do you do, sir?” he said, shaking hands. Then he indicated a bulk withdrawn into a corner of the dimly-lighted room; the blinds were drawn, and he locked the door after Halleck's entrance. “Mr. Hubbard, whom I think you know,” he added. “I'll just step into the next room, gentlemen, and will be subject to your call at any moment.”
That night, after Halleck had left the old man in Marcia and Olive's care for a while, he received a note from Bartley's lawyer, requesting a moment of his time for some important matters. It could be a proposal for some kind of compensation or support for Marcia, so Halleck followed the messenger to the lawyer's office. The lawyer greeted him warmly at the door. “How are you, sir?” he said, shaking Halleck's hand. He then pointed to a figure tucked away in a corner of the dimly lit room; the blinds were drawn, and he locked the door after Halleck walked in. “This is Mr. Hubbard, who I believe you know,” he added. “I’ll just step into the next room, gentlemen, and I’ll be available whenever you need me.”
The bulk lifted itself and moved some paces toward Halleck; Bartley even raised his hand, with the vague expectation of taking Halleck's, but seeing no responsive gesture on his part, he waved a salutation and dropped it again to his side.
The load lifted itself and moved a few steps toward Halleck; Bartley even raised his hand, with the unclear hope of shaking Halleck's hand, but when he saw no reaction from him, he waved hello and let his hand fall back to his side.
“How d' ye do, Halleck? Rather a secret, black, and midnight interview,” he said jocosely. “But I couldn't very well manage it otherwise. I'm not just in the position to offer you the freedom of the city.”
“How are you, Halleck? Quite a secret, dark, and late-night meeting,” he said playfully. “But I couldn't really handle it any other way. I'm not exactly in a position to give you the freedom of the city.”
“What do you want, Hubbard?” asked Halleck, bluntly.
“What do you want, Hubbard?” Halleck asked straightforwardly.
“How is the old Squire?”
“How’s the old Squire?”
“The doctor thinks he may rally from the shock.”
“The doctor thinks he might recover from the shock.”
“Paralysis?”
“Paralysis?”
“Yes.”
"Yeah."
“I have spent the day in the 'tall timber,' as our friends out here say, communing with nature; and I've only just come into town since dark, so I hadn't any particulars.” He paused, as if expecting that Halleck might give them, but upon his remaining silent, he resumed. “Of course, as the case now stands, I know very well that the law can't touch me. But I didn't know what the popular feeling might be. The Squire laid it on pretty hot, and he might have made it livelier for me than he intended: he isn't aware of the inflammable nature of the material out here.” He gave a nervous chuckle. “I wanted to see you, Halleck, to tell you that I haven't forgotten that money I owe you, and that I mean to pay it all up, some time, yet. If it hadn't been for some expenses I've had lately,—doctor's bills, and so forth,—I haven't been very well, myself,”—he made a sort of involuntary appeal for Halleck's sympathy,—“and I've had to pay out a good deal of money,—I should be able to pay most of it now. As it is, I can only give you five hundred of it.” He tugged his porte-monnaie with difficulty up the slope of his pantaloons. “That will leave me just three hundred to begin the world with; for of course I've got to clear out of here. And I'd got very comfortably settled after two years of pretty hard work at the printing business, and hard reading at the law. Well, it's all right. And I want to pay you this money, now, and I'll pay you the rest whenever I can. And I want you to tell Marcia that I did it. I always meant to do it.”
“I spent the day out in the woods, as folks around here say, connecting with nature; and I just got back to town after dark, so I don’t have any updates.” He paused, as if waiting for Halleck to speak, but when Halleck stayed quiet, he continued. “I know that, given the situation, the law can't do anything to me. But I wasn't sure how the public might react. The Squire really laid it on thick, and he might have stirred things up for me more than he intended: he doesn't realize how passionate people are around here.” He let out a nervous laugh. “I wanted to see you, Halleck, to say that I haven't forgotten the money I owe you, and I plan to pay it all back eventually. If it weren't for some recent expenses—like doctor bills and such—I haven't been feeling too well myself,”—he sort of looked for Halleck's sympathy—“and I’ve had to spend a lot of money, but I could pay most of it now. Right now, I can only give you five hundred of it.” He struggled to pull out his wallet from his pants. “That will leave me with just three hundred to start fresh with; after all, I need to get out of here. I had finally settled in nicely after two years of hard work in printing and serious studying in law. Well, it is what it is. And I want to give you this money now, and I'll pay you the rest as soon as I can. Also, please let Marcia know that I did this. I always intended to.”
“Hubbard,” interrupted Halleck, “you don't owe me any money. Your father-in-law paid that debt two years ago. But you owe some one else a debt that no one can pay for you. We needn't waste words: what are you going to do to repair the wrong you have done the woman and the child—” He stopped; the effort had perhaps been too much.
“Hubbard,” Halleck interrupted, “you don’t owe me any money. Your father-in-law cleared that debt two years ago. But you owe someone else a debt that no one can pay for you. Let’s not waste words: what are you going to do to make things right for the woman and the child—” He paused; the effort might have been too much.
Bartley saw his emotion, and in his benighted way he honored it. “Halleck, you are a good fellow. You are such a good fellow that you can't understand this thing. But it's played out. I felt badly about it myself, at one time; and if I hadn't been robbed of that money you lent me on my way here, I'd have gone back inside of forty-eight hours. I was sorry for Marcia; it almost broke my heart to think of the little one; but I knew they were in the hands of friends; and the more time I had to think it over, the more I was reconciled to what I had done. That was the only way out, for either of us. We had tried it for three years, and we couldn't make it go; we never could have made it go; we were incompatible. Don't you suppose I knew Marcia's good qualities? No one knows them better, or appreciates them more. You might think that I applied for this divorce because I had some one else in view. Not any more in mine at present! But I thought we ought to be free, both of us; and if our marriage had become a chain, that we ought to break it.” Bartley paused, apparently to give these facts and reasons time to sink into Halleck's mind. “But there's one thing I should like to have you tell her, Halleck: she was wrong about that girl; I never had anything to do with her. Marcia will understand.” Halleck made no reply, and Bartley resumed, in a burst of generosity, which marked his fall into the abyss as nothing else could have done. “Look here, Halleck! I can't marry again for two years. But as I understand the law, Marcia isn't bound in any way. I know that she always had a very high opinion of you, and that she thinks you are the best man in the world: why don't you fix it up with Marcia?”
Bartley recognized his feelings, and in his confused way, he respected them. “Halleck, you’re a great guy. You’re *such* a great guy that you can’t see what’s happening. But it’s over. I felt bad about it myself at one point; and if I hadn't been robbed of that money you lent me on my way here, I would have gone back within forty-eight hours. I felt sorry for Marcia; it nearly broke my heart to think about the child; but I knew they were in good hands; and the more I thought about it, the more I accepted what I had done. That was the only way out for both of us. We tried for three years, and we just couldn’t make it work; we never could have. We were incompatible. Don’t you think I know Marcia’s good qualities? No one knows or appreciates them better than I do. You might think I asked for this divorce because I had someone else in mind. No one is on my radar right now! But I thought we both deserved to be free; if our marriage had become a burden, we needed to break it.” Bartley paused, seemingly allowing Halleck time to process this information. “But there’s one thing I’d like you to tell her, Halleck: she was wrong about that girl; I never had anything to do with her. Marcia will get it.” Halleck didn’t respond, and Bartley continued, in a moment of generosity that highlighted his fall like nothing else could. “Listen, Halleck! *I* can’t marry again for two years. But as I understand it, Marcia isn’t bound at all. I know she always thought very highly of you, and she believes you’re the best man around: why don’t *you* talk to Marcia?”
Bartley was in effect driven into exile by the accidents of his suit for divorce which have been described. He was not in bodily danger after the first excitement passed off, if he was ever in bodily danger at all; but he could not reasonably hope to establish himself in a community which had witnessed such disagreeable facts concerning him; before which indeed he stood attainted of perjury, and only saved from the penalty of his crime by the refusal of his wife to press her case.
Bartley was basically pushed into exile by the circumstances of his divorce suit, which have been discussed. After the initial shock wore off, he wasn't in any physical danger, if he ever was; however, he couldn't realistically expect to settle into a community that had seen such unpleasant truths about him. He was, in fact, considered guilty of perjury, and was only spared from the consequences of his actions because his wife chose not to pursue the case.
As soon as her father was strong enough to be removed, Marcia returned to the East with him, in the care of the friends who continued with them. They did not go back to Boston, but went directly to Equity, where in the first flush of the young and jubilant summer they opened the dim old house at the end of the village street, and resumed their broken lives. Her father, with one side palsy-stricken, wavered out every morning to his office, and sat there all day, the tremulous shadow of his former will. Sometimes his old friends came in to see him; but no one expected now to hear the Squire “get going.” He no longer got going on any topic; he had become as a little child,—as the little child that played about him there in the still, warm summer days and built houses with his law-books on the floor. He laughed feebly at her pranks, and submitted to her rule with pathetic meekness in everything where Marcia had not charged them both to the contrary. He was very obedient to Marcia, who looked vigilantly after his welfare, and knew all his goings and comings, as she knew those of his little comrade. Two or three times a day she ran out to see that they were safe; but for the rest she kept herself closely housed, and saw no one whom she was not forced to see; only the meat-man and the fish-man could speak authoritatively concerning her appearance and behavior before folks. They reported the latter as dry, cold, and uncommunicative. Doubtless the bitter experiences of her life had wrought their due effect in that passionate heart; but probably it was as much a morbid sensitiveness as a hardened indifference that turned her from her kind. The village inquisitiveness that invades, also suffers much eccentricity; and after it had been well ascertained that Marcia was as queer as her mother, she was allowed to lead her mother's unmolested life in the old house, which had always turned so cold a shoulder to the world. Toward the end of the summer the lame young man and his sister, who had been several times in Equity before, paid her a visit; but stayed only a day or two, as was accurately known by persons who had noted the opening and closing of the spare-chamber blinds. In the winter he came again, but this time he came alone, and stayed at the hotel. He remained over a Sunday, and sat in the pulpit of the Orthodox church, where the minister extended to him the right hand of fellowship, and invited him to make the opening prayer. It was considered a good prayer, generally speaking, but it was criticised as not containing anything attractive to young people. He was understood to be on his way to take charge of a backwoods church down in Aroostook County, where probably his prayers would be more acceptable to the popular taste.
As soon as her father was strong enough to be moved, Marcia went back to the East with him, accompanied by the friends who had stuck by them. They didn’t return to Boston but went straight to Equity, where, in the excitement of the bright, young summer, they opened the old, dim house at the end of the village street and tried to piece their lives back together. Her father, with one side affected by paralysis, wobbled out every morning to his office and sat there all day, a shaky echo of his former self. Sometimes his old friends stopped by to see him, but no one expected to hear the Squire “get going.” He didn’t really engage in any topic anymore; he had become like a little child—like the child playing around him on those quiet, warm summer days, building houses with his law books on the floor. He laughed weakly at her antics and let her take charge in everything unless Marcia had told them otherwise. He was very obedient to Marcia, who kept a close eye on his well-being, knowing all about his comings and goings, just as she did with his little friend. A few times a day, she stepped out to ensure they were safe; otherwise, she stayed indoors and avoided anyone she didn’t have to see; only the meat and fish vendors could comment on how she looked and acted around others. They reported her demeanor as dry, cold, and uncommunicative. Certainly, the harsh experiences of her life had taken their toll on her passionate heart; but it was likely that a mix of morbid sensitivity and hardened indifference kept her distant from others. The village curiosity that pokes around also endures quite a bit of eccentricity, and once it was clear that Marcia was as peculiar as her mother, she was allowed to live her mother’s unhindered life in the old house, which had always been so cold to the outside world. Toward the end of summer, the young man with a limp and his sister, who had visited Equity several times before, came to see her but only stayed a day or two, which was noted by those who observed the opening and closing of the guest room blinds. He returned in the winter, but this time alone and stayed at the hotel. He remained through Sunday and sat in the pulpit of the Orthodox church, where the minister welcomed him warmly and invited him to lead the opening prayer. It was generally considered a good prayer, though some criticized it for lacking anything appealing to young people. It was understood that he was on his way to take charge of a rural church down in Aroostook County, where his prayers might resonate more with the local crowd.
That winter Squire Gaylord had another stroke of paralysis, and late in the following spring he succumbed to a third. The old minister who had once been Mrs. Gaylord's pastor was now dead; and the Squire was buried by the lame man, who came up to Equity for that purpose, at the wish, often expressed, of the deceased. This at least was the common report, and it is certain that Halleck officiated.
That winter, Squire Gaylord had another stroke, and late the following spring, he suffered a third one. The old minister who had once been Mrs. Gaylord's pastor was now dead, and the Squire was buried by the disabled man, who came to Equity for that purpose, as the deceased had often requested. This was the common story, and it's certain that Halleck led the service.
In entering the ministry he had returned to the faith which had been taught him almost before he could speak. He did not defend or justify this course on the part of a man who had once thrown off all allegiance to creeds; he said simply that for him there was no other course. He freely granted that he had not reasoned back to his old faith; he had fled to it as to a city of refuge. His unbelief had been helped, and he no longer suffered himself to doubt; he did not ask if the truth was here or there, any more; he only knew that he could not find it for himself, and he rested in his inherited belief. He accepted everything; if he took one jot or tittle away from the Book, the curse of doubt was on him. He had known the terrors of the law, and he preached them to his people; he had known the Divine mercy, and he also preached that.
In becoming a minister, he returned to the faith that had been instilled in him almost before he could talk. He didn't try to defend or justify this decision as someone who had once rejected all beliefs; he simply stated that for him, there was no other option. He openly admitted that he hadn’t reasoned his way back to his old faith; he had fled to it like it was a city of refuge. His doubts had faded, and he no longer allowed himself to question; he didn’t worry about whether the truth was here or there anymore; he just knew he couldn't find it on his own, and he found comfort in his inherited beliefs. He accepted everything; if he took away even the smallest part of the Book, the curse of doubt would be upon him. He had experienced the fears of the law, and he preached them to his congregation; he had also known the Divine mercy, and he preached that too.
The Squire's death occurred a few months before the news came of another event to which the press of the State referred with due recognition, but without great fulness of detail. This was the fatal case of shooting—penalty or consequence, as we choose to consider it, of all that had gone before—which occurred at Whited Sepulchre, Arizona, where Bartley Hubbard pitched his tent, and set up a printing-press, after leaving Tecumseh. He began with the issue of a Sunday paper, and made it so spicy and so indispensable to all the residents of Whited Sepulchre who enjoyed the study of their fellow-citizens' affairs, that he was looking hopefully forward to the establishment of a daily edition, when he unfortunately chanced to comment upon the domestic relations of “one of Whited Sepulchre's leading citizens.” The leading citizen promptly took the war-path, as an esteemed contemporary expressed it in reporting the difficulty with the cynical lightness and the profusion of felicitous head-lines with which our journalism often alleviates the history of tragic occurrences: the parenthetical touch in the closing statement, that “Mr. Hubbard leaves a (divorced) wife and child somewhere at the East,” was quite in Bartley's own manner.
The Squire's death happened a few months before news broke about another event that the local press acknowledged but didn't detail much. This was the deadly shooting incident—an outcome, depending on how you look at it, of everything that had happened before—at Whited Sepulchre, Arizona, where Bartley Hubbard set up his tent and started a printing press after leaving Tecumseh. He started by publishing a Sunday paper that became so entertaining and essential to the residents of Whited Sepulchre who were interested in their neighbors’ lives that he was excitedly anticipating the launch of a daily edition. However, he unfortunately made a comment about the family situation of “one of Whited Sepulchre's leading citizens.” This prominent citizen quickly went on the offensive, as a well-respected publication reported the altercation with a casual tone and an abundance of clever headlines that often make our journalism more palatable when covering tragic events: the aside in the final note that “Mr. Hubbard leaves a (divorced) wife and child somewhere in the East” was very much in line with Bartley's own style.
Marcia had been widowed so long before that this event could make no outward change in her. What inner change, if any, it wrought, is one of those facts which fiction must seek in vain to disclose. But if love such as hers had been did not deny his end the pang of a fresh grief, we may be sure that her sorrow was not unmixed with self-accusal as unavailing as it was passionate, and perhaps as unjust.
Marcia had been a widow for so long that this event made no visible difference to her. What inner change, if any, it brought about is something that fiction can never fully reveal. However, if her kind of love did not prevent the pain of new grief, we can be certain that her sorrow included a sense of self-blame that was as intense as it was ineffective, and maybe even unfair.
One evening, a year later, the Athertons sat talking over a letter from Halleck, which Atherton had brought from Boston with him: it was summer, and they were at their place on the Beverley shore. It was a long letter, and Atherton had read parts of it several times already, on his way down in the cars, and had since read it all to his wife. “It's a very morbid letter,” he said, with a perplexed air, when he had finished.
One evening, a year later, the Athertons were discussing a letter from Halleck that Atherton had brought back from Boston. It was summer, and they were at their place on the Beverley shore. The letter was long, and Atherton had already read parts of it several times on the train ride down and had since read the entire letter to his wife. “It's a really dark letter,” he said, looking confused, when he was done.
“Yes,” she assented. “But it's a very good letter. Poor Ben!”
“Yes,” she agreed. “But it's a very good letter. Poor Ben!”
Her husband took it up again, and read here and there a passage from it.
Her husband picked it up again and read a few passages from it here and there.
“But I am turning to you now for help in a matter on which my own conscience throws such a fitful and uncertain light that I cannot trust it. I know that you are a good man, Atherton, and I humbly beseech you to let me have your judgment without mercy: though it slay me, I will abide by it.... Since her father's death, she lives there quite alone with her child. I have seen her only once, but we write to each other, and there are times when it seems to me at last that I have the right to ask her to be my wife. The words give me a shock as I write them; and the things which I used to think reasons for my right rise up in witness against me. Above all, I remember with horror that he approved it, that he advised it!.... It is true that I have never, by word or deed, suffered her to know what was in my heart; but has there ever been a moment when I could do so? It is true that I have waited for his death; but if I have been willing he should die, am I not a potential murderer?”
"But I'm reaching out to you now for help with something that my own conscience is so confused about that I can't trust it. I know you're a good man, Atherton, and I sincerely ask you to give me your judgment without holding back: even if it crushes me, I’ll accept it. Since her father's death, she’s been living there all alone with her child. I've only seen her once, but we write to each other, and sometimes it feels like I finally have the right to ask her to be my wife. Writing those words shocks me; the reasons I once thought gave me the right now come back to haunt me. Above all, I remember with dread that he approved of it, that he encouraged it! It’s true that I’ve never let her know what I feel, either by word or action; but has there ever been a moment when I could have? It’s true that I've waited for his death; but if I wanted him to die, doesn’t that make me a potential murderer?"
“Oh, what ridiculous nonsense!” Clara indignantly protested.
“Oh, what ridiculous nonsense!” Clara protested angrily.
Atherton read on: “These are the questions which I ask myself in my despair. She is free, now; but am I free? Am I not rather bound by the past to perpetual silence? There are times when I rebel against these tortures; when I feel a sanction for my love of her, an assurance from somewhere that it is right and good to love her; but then I sink again, for if I ask whence this assurance comes—I beseech you to tell me what you think. Has my offence been so great that nothing can atone for it? Must I sacrifice to this fear all my hopes of what I could be to her, and for her?”
Atherton kept reading: “These are the questions I ask myself in my despair. She’s free now, but am I? Am I not instead tied to the past in eternal silence? There are moments when I fight against this pain; when I feel a validation for my love for her, a reassurance from somewhere that it’s right and good to love her; but then I fall back into despair, because if I question where this assurance comes from—I urge you to tell me what you think. Has my wrongdoing been so severe that nothing can make up for it? Must I give up all my hopes of what I could mean to her, and for her, because of this fear?”
Atherton folded up the letter, and put it back into its envelope, with a frown of exasperation. “I can't see what should have infatuated Halleck with that woman. I don't believe now that he loves her; I believe he only pities her. She is altogether inferior to him: passionate, narrow-minded, jealous,—she would make him miserable. He'd much better stay as he is. If it were not pathetic to have him deifying her in this way, it would be laughable.”
Atherton folded the letter and put it back in its envelope, frowning in frustration. “I can’t understand what’s got Halleck so obsessed with that woman. I don’t think he loves her; I think he just feels sorry for her. She’s completely beneath him: passionate, narrow-minded, jealous—she’d make him miserable. He’d be better off as he is. If it weren’t so sad to see him idolizing her like this, it would be ridiculous.”
“She had a jealous temperament,” said Clara, looking down. “But all the Hallecks are fond of her. They think there is a great deal of good in her. don't suppose Ben himself thinks she is perfect But—”
“She had a jealous personality,” Clara said, looking down. “But the Hallecks all care about her. They believe there’s a lot of good in her. I don’t think Ben himself believes she’s perfect, but—”
“I dare say,” interrupted her husband, “that he thinks he's entirely sincere in asking my advice. But you can see how he wishes to be advised.”
“I dare say,” interrupted her husband, “that he thinks he's completely sincere in asking for my advice. But you can see how he wants to be advised.”
“Of course. He wishes to marry her. It isn't so much a question of what a man ought to have, as what he wants to have, in marrying, is it? Even the best of men. If she is exacting and quick-tempered, he is good enough to get on with her. If she had a husband that she could thoroughly trust, she would be easy enough to get on with. There is no woman good enough to get on with a bad man. It's terrible to think of that poor creature living there by herself, with no one to look after her and her little girl; and if Ben—”
“Of course. He wants to marry her. It’s not really about what a man should have, but what he wants when he gets married, right? Even the best men. If she is demanding and easily upset, he’s good enough to get along with her. If she had a husband she could completely trust, she’d be easy to live with. No woman can truly get along with a bad man. It’s heartbreaking to think of that poor woman living there alone, with no one to take care of her and her little girl; and if Ben—”
“What do you mean, Clara? Don't you see that his being in love with her when she was another man's wife is what he feels it to be,—an indelible stain?”
“What do you mean, Clara? Don't you see that him being in love with her while she was another man's wife is what he believes it is—an unforgettable stain?”
“She never knew it; and no one ever knew it but you. You said it was our deeds that judged us. Didn't Ben go away when he realized his feeling for her?”
“She never knew it; and no one ever knew it but you. You said it was our actions that judged us. Didn’t Ben leave when he figured out his feelings for her?”
“He came back.”
“He's back.”
“But he did everything he could to find that poor wretch, and he tried to prevent the divorce. Ben is morbid about it; but there is no use in our being so.”
“But he did everything he could to find that poor person, and he tried to prevent the divorce. Ben is obsessed with it; but there's no point in us being that way.”
“There was a time when he would have been glad to profit by a divorce.”
“There was a time when he would have been happy to take advantage of a divorce.”
“But he never did. You said the will didn't count. And now she is a widow, and any man may ask her to marry him.”
“But he never did. You said the will didn’t matter. And now she’s a widow, and any man can ask her to marry him.”
“Any man but the one who loved her during her husband's life. That is, if he is such a man as Halleck. Of course it isn't a question of gross black and white, mere right and wrong; there are degrees, there are shades. There might be redemption for another sort of man in such a marriage; but for Halleck there could only be loss,—deterioration,—lapse from the ideal. I should think that he might suffer something of this even in her eyes—”
“Any man except for the one who loved her while she was still married. That is, if he’s someone like Halleck. Obviously, it’s not just a simple matter of right and wrong; there are levels, there are nuances. There might be a chance for redemption for someone else in that kind of marriage; but for Halleck, it would just mean loss—deterioration—falling away from the ideal. I imagine he might experience some of this even in her eyes—”
“Oh, how hard you are! I wish Ben hadn't asked your advice. Why, you are worse than, he is! You're not going to write that to him?”
“Oh, how tough you are! I wish Ben hadn’t asked for your advice. Honestly, you’re even worse than he is! You’re not going to write that to him, are you?”
Atherton flung the letter upon the table, and drew a troubled sigh. “Ah, I don't know! I don't know!”
Atherton threw the letter onto the table and let out a troubled sigh. “Ugh, I just don’t know! I really don’t know!”
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