This is a modern-English version of Alexander's Bridge, originally written by Cather, Willa. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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Alexander’s Bridge

by Willa Cather

And
THE BARREL ORGAN by Alfred Noyes


CONTENTS

ALEXANDER’S BRIDGE by Willa Cather
ALEXANDER’S BRIDGE by Willa Cather
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
CHAPTER VII
CHAPTER VIII
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X
EPILOGUE

THE BARREL ORGAN by Alfred Noyes
THE BARREL ORGAN by Alfred Noyes

ALEXANDER’S BRIDGE by Willa Cather

CHAPTER I

Late one brilliant April afternoon Professor Lucius Wilson stood at the head of Chestnut Street, looking about him with the pleased air of a man of taste who does not very often get to Boston. He had lived there as a student, but for twenty years and more, since he had been Professor of Philosophy in a Western university, he had seldom come East except to take a steamer for some foreign port. Wilson was standing quite still, contemplating with a whimsical smile the slanting street, with its worn paving, its irregular, gravely colored houses, and the row of naked trees on which the thin sunlight was still shining. The gleam of the river at the foot of the hill made him blink a little, not so much because it was too bright as because he found it so pleasant. The few passers-by glanced at him unconcernedly, and even the children who hurried along with their school-bags under their arms seemed to find it perfectly natural that a tall brown gentleman should be standing there, looking up through his glasses at the gray housetops.

Late one bright April afternoon, Professor Lucius Wilson stood at the top of Chestnut Street, looking around with the satisfied expression of someone who appreciates good taste but doesn't often get to Boston. He had lived there as a student, but for over twenty years, since he became a Professor of Philosophy at a Western university, he had rarely come East except to catch a ship to some foreign destination. Wilson remained still, wearing a whimsical smile as he took in the sloping street, with its worn pavement, irregularly colored houses, and a row of bare trees where the soft sunlight was still shining. The shimmer of the river at the bottom of the hill made him squint a bit, not so much because it was too bright, but because he found it so delightful. The few people walking by barely noticed him, and even the children hurrying along with their school bags under their arms seemed completely unfazed by the sight of a tall brown gentleman standing there, peering up through his glasses at the gray rooftops.

The sun sank rapidly; the silvery light had faded from the bare boughs and the watery twilight was setting in when Wilson at last walked down the hill, descending into cooler and cooler depths of grayish shadow. His nostril, long unused to it, was quick to detect the smell of wood smoke in the air, blended with the odor of moist spring earth and the saltiness that came up the river with the tide. He crossed Charles Street between jangling street cars and shelving lumber drays, and after a moment of uncertainty wound into Brimmer Street. The street was quiet, deserted, and hung with a thin bluish haze. He had already fixed his sharp eye upon the house which he reasoned should be his objective point, when he noticed a woman approaching rapidly from the opposite direction. Always an interested observer of women, Wilson would have slackened his pace anywhere to follow this one with his impersonal, appreciative glance. She was a person of distinction he saw at once, and, moreover, very handsome. She was tall, carried her beautiful head proudly, and moved with ease and certainty. One immediately took for granted the costly privileges and fine spaces that must lie in the background from which such a figure could emerge with this rapid and elegant gait. Wilson noted her dress, too,—for, in his way, he had an eye for such things,—particularly her brown furs and her hat. He got a blurred impression of her fine color, the violets she wore, her white gloves, and, curiously enough, of her veil, as she turned up a flight of steps in front of him and disappeared.

The sun set quickly; the silver light had faded from the bare branches, and the watery twilight was starting to take over when Wilson finally walked down the hill, moving into deeper and deeper shades of gray. His nostrils, long unaccustomed to it, quickly picked up the smell of wood smoke in the air, mixed with the scent of damp spring earth and the saltiness that came up the river with the tide. He crossed Charles Street amidst the ringing streetcars and lumber trucks, and after a moment of hesitation, turned into Brimmer Street. The street was quiet, empty, and wrapped in a thin bluish haze. He had already set his sharp gaze on the house he had determined to be his destination when he noticed a woman rapidly approaching from the opposite direction. Always keenly interested in women, Wilson would have slowed down anywhere to follow this one with his detached, appreciative glance. She was clearly a distinguished person, and also very beautiful. She was tall, held her head up proudly, and moved with grace and confidence. One instantly assumed that the expensive privileges and elegant surroundings must be part of the background from which such a figure could emerge with this swift and stylish stride. Wilson also took note of her outfit—since he had an eye for such things—especially her brown furs and her hat. He got a blurred impression of her lovely complexion, the violets she wore, her white gloves, and, oddly enough, her veil as she turned up a flight of steps in front of him and vanished.

Wilson was able to enjoy lovely things that passed him on the wing as completely and deliberately as if they had been dug-up marvels, long anticipated, and definitely fixed at the end of a railway journey. For a few pleasurable seconds he quite forgot where he was going, and only after the door had closed behind her did he realize that the young woman had entered the house to which he had directed his trunk from the South Station that morning. He hesitated a moment before mounting the steps. “Can that,” he murmured in amazement,—“can that possibly have been Mrs. Alexander?”

Wilson was able to enjoy the beautiful things that passed him by just as fully and intentionally as if they had been hidden treasures, eagerly awaited, and definitely waiting at the end of a train journey. For a few delightful seconds, he completely forgot where he was headed, and it was only after the door closed behind her that he realized the young woman had gone into the house where he had sent his trunk from South Station that morning. He paused for a moment before going up the steps. “Could that,” he murmured in disbelief, "could that possibly have been Mrs. Alexander?”

When the servant admitted him, Mrs. Alexander was still standing in the hallway. She heard him give his name, and came forward holding out her hand.

When the servant let him in, Mrs. Alexander was still standing in the hallway. She heard him say his name and stepped forward, extending her hand.

“Is it you, indeed, Professor Wilson? I was afraid that you might get here before I did. I was detained at a concert, and Bartley telephoned that he would be late. Thomas will show you your room. Had you rather have your tea brought to you there, or will you have it down here with me, while we wait for Bartley?”

“Is that you, Professor Wilson? I was worried you might get here before me. I got held up at a concert, and Bartley called to say he’d be late. Thomas will show you to your room. Would you prefer to have your tea brought to you there, or would you like to have it down here with me while we wait for Bartley?”

Wilson was pleased to find that he had been the cause of her rapid walk, and with her he was even more vastly pleased than before. He followed her through the drawing-room into the library, where the wide back windows looked out upon the garden and the sunset and a fine stretch of silver-colored river. A harp-shaped elm stood stripped against the pale-colored evening sky, with ragged last year’s birds’ nests in its forks, and through the bare branches the evening star quivered in the misty air. The long brown room breathed the peace of a rich and amply guarded quiet. Tea was brought in immediately and placed in front of the wood fire. Mrs. Alexander sat down in a high-backed chair and began to pour it, while Wilson sank into a low seat opposite her and took his cup with a great sense of ease and harmony and comfort.

Wilson was glad to discover that he was the reason for her brisk walk, and being with her made him even happier than before. He followed her through the drawing room into the library, where the large back windows looked out over the garden, the sunset, and a beautiful stretch of silver river. A harp-shaped elm stood bare against the light evening sky, with ragged nests from last year in its branches, and through the empty limbs, the evening star twinkled in the misty air. The long brown room exuded the tranquility of a rich, well-protected quiet. Tea was brought in right away and set in front of the wood fire. Mrs. Alexander sat down in a high-backed chair and started to pour it, while Wilson settled into a low seat across from her, feeling a strong sense of ease, harmony, and comfort as he took his cup.

“You have had a long journey, haven’t you?” Mrs. Alexander asked, after showing gracious concern about his tea. “And I am so sorry Bartley is late. He’s often tired when he’s late. He flatters himself that it is a little on his account that you have come to this Congress of Psychologists.”

“You’ve had quite a journey, haven’t you?” Mrs. Alexander asked, showing genuine concern for his tea. “And I’m really sorry Bartley is running late. He often gets tired when he’s late. He likes to think it’s partly because of you that you’ve come to this Congress of Psychologists.”

“It is,” Wilson assented, selecting his muffin carefully; “and I hope he won’t be tired tonight. But, on my own account, I’m glad to have a few moments alone with you, before Bartley comes. I was somehow afraid that my knowing him so well would not put me in the way of getting to know you.”

“It is,” Wilson agreed, choosing his muffin carefully; “and I hope he won’t be tired tonight. But for my part, I’m glad to have a few moments alone with you before Bartley gets here. I was a bit worried that knowing him so well might keep me from getting to know you.”

“That’s very nice of you.” She nodded at him above her cup and smiled, but there was a little formal tightness in her tone which had not been there when she greeted him in the hall.

“That’s really nice of you.” She nodded at him above her cup and smiled, but there was a hint of formality in her tone that hadn’t been there when she greeted him in the hall.

Wilson leaned forward. “Have I said something awkward? I live very far out of the world, you know. But I didn’t mean that you would exactly fade dim, even if Bartley were here.”

Wilson leaned forward. “Did I say something awkward? I live really far away from the world, you know. But I didn’t mean that you would exactly just fade away, even if Bartley were here.”

Mrs. Alexander laughed relentingly. “Oh, I’m not so vain! How terribly discerning you are.”

Mrs. Alexander laughed playfully. “Oh, I'm not that vain! You really are quite perceptive.”

She looked straight at Wilson, and he felt that this quick, frank glance brought about an understanding between them.

She looked directly at Wilson, and he sensed that this brief, honest look created a connection between them.

He liked everything about her, he told himself, but he particularly liked her eyes; when she looked at one directly for a moment they were like a glimpse of fine windy sky that may bring all sorts of weather.

He liked everything about her, he told himself, but he especially liked her eyes; when she looked at him directly for a moment, they were like a glimpse of a beautiful, breezy sky that could bring all kinds of weather.

“Since you noticed something,” Mrs. Alexander went on, “it must have been a flash of the distrust I have come to feel whenever I meet any of the people who knew Bartley when he was a boy. It is always as if they were talking of someone I had never met. Really, Professor Wilson, it would seem that he grew up among the strangest people. They usually say that he has turned out very well, or remark that he always was a fine fellow. I never know what reply to make.”

“Since you noticed something,” Mrs. Alexander continued, “it must have been a glimpse of the distrust I've started to feel whenever I meet people who knew Bartley as a kid. It's like they’re talking about someone I’ve never met. Honestly, Professor Wilson, it seems like he grew up around the weirdest people. They often say he turned out really well or comment that he was always a good guy. I never know how to respond.”

Wilson chuckled and leaned back in his chair, shaking his left foot gently. “I expect the fact is that we none of us knew him very well, Mrs. Alexander. Though I will say for myself that I was always confident he’d do something extraordinary.”

Wilson chuckled and leaned back in his chair, gently shaking his left foot. “I guess the truth is that none of us really knew him that well, Mrs. Alexander. But I can say for myself that I always believed he’d do something incredible.”

Mrs. Alexander’s shoulders gave a slight movement, suggestive of impatience. “Oh, I should think that might have been a safe prediction. Another cup, please?”

Mrs. Alexander shrugged slightly, showing some impatience. “Oh, I think that would have been a pretty safe guess. Another cup, please?”

“Yes, thank you. But predicting, in the case of boys, is not so easy as you might imagine, Mrs. Alexander. Some get a bad hurt early and lose their courage; and some never get a fair wind. Bartley”—he dropped his chin on the back of his long hand and looked at her admiringly—“Bartley caught the wind early, and it has sung in his sails ever since.”

“Yes, thank you. But predicting, when it comes to boys, isn’t as straightforward as you might think, Mrs. Alexander. Some take a serious hit early on and lose their confidence; and some never get a good opportunity. Bartley”—he rested his chin on the back of his long hand and looked at her with admiration—“Bartley caught the opportunity early, and it has propelled him ever since.”

Mrs. Alexander sat looking into the fire with intent preoccupation, and Wilson studied her half-averted face. He liked the suggestion of stormy possibilities in the proud curve of her lip and nostril. Without that, he reflected, she would be too cold.

Mrs. Alexander sat staring into the fire with deep focus, while Wilson observed her mostly turned-away face. He appreciated the hint of turbulent potential in the proud curve of her lip and nostril. Without that, he thought, she would seem too aloof.

“I should like to know what he was really like when he was a boy. I don’t believe he remembers,” she said suddenly. “Won’t you smoke, Mr. Wilson?”

“I’d like to know what he was really like as a kid. I don’t think he remembers,” she said abruptly. “Would you like to smoke, Mr. Wilson?”

Wilson lit a cigarette. “No, I don’t suppose he does. He was never introspective. He was simply the most tremendous response to stimuli I have ever known. We didn’t know exactly what to do with him.”

Wilson lit a cigarette. “No, I don’t think he does. He was never one to reflect deeply. He was just the most incredible reaction to stimuli I’ve ever seen. We didn’t really know how to handle him.”

A servant came in and noiselessly removed the tea-tray. Mrs. Alexander screened her face from the firelight, which was beginning to throw wavering bright spots on her dress and hair as the dusk deepened.

A servant came in and quietly took away the tea tray. Mrs. Alexander covered her face from the firelight, which was starting to cast flickering bright spots on her dress and hair as the evening grew darker.

“Of course,” she said, “I now and again hear stories about things that happened when he was in college.”

“Of course,” she said, “I occasionally hear stories about things that happened when he was in college.”

“But that isn’t what you want.” Wilson wrinkled his brows and looked at her with the smiling familiarity that had come about so quickly. “What you want is a picture of him, standing back there at the other end of twenty years. You want to look down through my memory.”

“But that’s not what you really want.” Wilson frowned and looked at her with the warm familiarity that had developed so quickly. “What you want is a picture of him, standing back there at the other end of twenty years. You want to see through my memory.”

She dropped her hands in her lap. “Yes, yes; that’s exactly what I want.”

She placed her hands in her lap. “Yes, yes; that’s exactly what I want.”

At this moment they heard the front door shut with a jar, and Wilson laughed as Mrs. Alexander rose quickly. “There he is. Away with perspective! No past, no future for Bartley; just the fiery moment. The only moment that ever was or will be in the world!”

At that moment, they heard the front door slam, and Wilson laughed as Mrs. Alexander quickly stood up. “There he is. Forget about perspective! No past, no future for Bartley; just this intense moment. The only moment that ever existed or will ever exist in the world!”

The door from the hall opened, a voice called “Winifred?” hurriedly, and a big man came through the drawing-room with a quick, heavy tread, bringing with him a smell of cigar smoke and chill out-of-doors air. When Alexander reached the library door, he switched on the lights and stood six feet and more in the archway, glowing with strength and cordiality and rugged, blond good looks. There were other bridge-builders in the world, certainly, but it was always Alexander’s picture that the Sunday Supplement men wanted, because he looked as a tamer of rivers ought to look. Under his tumbled sandy hair his head seemed as hard and powerful as a catapult, and his shoulders looked strong enough in themselves to support a span of any one of his ten great bridges that cut the air above as many rivers.

The door from the hall swung open, and a voice called out, “Winifred?” urgently, as a big man walked into the drawing-room with a quick, heavy step, bringing with him the smell of cigar smoke and the chill of the outdoors. When Alexander reached the library door, he flipped on the lights and stood in the archway, towering at over six feet, radiating strength, warmth, and rugged, blond good looks. There were other bridge builders out there, for sure, but it was always Alexander’s photo that the Sunday Supplement guys wanted, because he looked like a river tamer should. Beneath his messy sandy hair, his head seemed as tough and powerful as a catapult, and his shoulders appeared strong enough to hold up any one of his ten impressive bridges that soared above as many rivers.

After dinner Alexander took Wilson up to his study. It was a large room over the library, and looked out upon the black river and the row of white lights along the Cambridge Embankment. The room was not at all what one might expect of an engineer’s study. Wilson felt at once the harmony of beautiful things that have lived long together without obtrusions of ugliness or change. It was none of Alexander’s doing, of course; those warm consonances of color had been blending and mellowing before he was born. But the wonder was that he was not out of place there,—that it all seemed to glow like the inevitable background for his vigor and vehemence. He sat before the fire, his shoulders deep in the cushions of his chair, his powerful head upright, his hair rumpled above his broad forehead. He sat heavily, a cigar in his large, smooth hand, a flush of after-dinner color in his face, which wind and sun and exposure to all sorts of weather had left fair and clear-skinned.

After dinner, Alexander took Wilson to his study. It was a spacious room above the library, overlooking the dark river and the row of white lights along the Cambridge Embankment. The room wasn’t what you’d expect from an engineer’s study. Wilson immediately felt the harmony of beautiful things that had coexisted for a long time without any signs of ugliness or change. Of course, this wasn’t Alexander’s doing; those warm blends of color had been coming together and softening long before he was born. What was surprising was that he felt completely at home there—that it all seemed to radiate as the perfect backdrop for his energy and intensity. He sat in front of the fire, his shoulders sunk deep into the cushions of his chair, his strong head held high, his hair tousled above his broad forehead. He sat heavily, a cigar in his large, smooth hand, a glow of after-dinner color on his face, which wind, sun, and exposure to all kinds of weather had left fair and clear-skinned.

“You are off for England on Saturday, Bartley, Mrs. Alexander tells me.”

“You’re heading to England on Saturday, Bartley, Mrs. Alexander tells me.”

“Yes, for a few weeks only. There’s a meeting of British engineers, and I’m doing another bridge in Canada, you know.”

“Yes, just for a few weeks. There’s a meeting of British engineers, and I’m working on another bridge in Canada, you know.”

“Oh, every one knows about that. And it was in Canada that you met your wife, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, everyone knows about that. And it was in Canada where you met your wife, right?”

“Yes, at Allway. She was visiting her great-aunt there. A most remarkable old lady. I was working with MacKeller then, an old Scotch engineer who had picked me up in London and taken me back to Quebec with him. He had the contract for the Allway Bridge, but before he began work on it he found out that he was going to die, and he advised the committee to turn the job over to me. Otherwise I’d never have got anything good so early. MacKeller was an old friend of Mrs. Pemberton, Winifred’s aunt. He had mentioned me to her, so when I went to Allway she asked me to come to see her. She was a wonderful old lady.”

“Yes, in Allway. She was visiting her great-aunt there. A truly remarkable old lady. I was working with MacKeller at the time, an old Scottish engineer who had picked me up in London and taken me back to Quebec with him. He had the contract for the Allway Bridge, but before he started on it, he found out he was dying and suggested that the committee hand the job over to me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have gotten such a good opportunity so early on. MacKeller was an old friend of Mrs. Pemberton, Winifred’s aunt. He had mentioned me to her, so when I went to Allway, she invited me to come see her. She was a wonderful old lady.”

“Like her niece?” Wilson queried.

"Like her niece?" Wilson asked.

Bartley laughed. “She had been very handsome, but not in Winifred’s way. When I knew her she was little and fragile, very pink and white, with a splendid head and a face like fine old lace, somehow,—but perhaps I always think of that because she wore a lace scarf on her hair. She had such a flavor of life about her. She had known Gordon and Livingstone and Beaconsfield when she was young,—every one. She was the first woman of that sort I’d ever known. You know how it is in the West,—old people are poked out of the way. Aunt Eleanor fascinated me as few young women have ever done. I used to go up from the works to have tea with her, and sit talking to her for hours. It was very stimulating, for she couldn’t tolerate stupidity.”

Bartley laughed. “She had been really beautiful, but not in the same way as Winifred. When I met her, she was small and delicate, very pink and white, with a gorgeous head and a face like fine old lace somehow—but maybe I think that way because she wore a lace scarf in her hair. She had such a vibrant spirit. She had known Gordon, Livingstone, and Beaconsfield when she was younger—everyone. She was the first woman like that I’d ever met. You know how it is in the West—old people are pushed aside. Aunt Eleanor captivated me like few young women ever have. I used to go from the factory to have tea with her and would talk to her for hours. It was really invigorating because she couldn’t stand ignorance.”

“It must have been then that your luck began, Bartley,” said Wilson, flicking his cigar ash with his long finger. “It’s curious, watching boys,” he went on reflectively. “I’m sure I did you justice in the matter of ability. Yet I always used to feel that there was a weak spot where some day strain would tell. Even after you began to climb, I stood down in the crowd and watched you with—well, not with confidence. The more dazzling the front you presented, the higher your facade rose, the more I expected to see a big crack zigzagging from top to bottom,”—he indicated its course in the air with his forefinger,—“then a crash and clouds of dust. It was curious. I had such a clear picture of it. And another curious thing, Bartley,” Wilson spoke with deliberateness and settled deeper into his chair, “is that I don’t feel it any longer. I am sure of you.”

“It must have been then that your luck started, Bartley,” Wilson said, flicking the ash off his cigar with his long finger. “It's interesting, watching boys,” he continued thoughtfully. “I’m sure I did you justice regarding your abilities. Yet I always sensed there was a weak spot that would eventually give way. Even after you started to rise, I stood in the crowd and watched you with—well, not exactly confidence. The more impressive the front you put on, the taller your facade grew, the more I anticipated seeing a big crack zigzagging from top to bottom,”—he traced the line in the air with his forefinger,—“then a crash and clouds of dust. It was intriguing. I had such a vivid image of it. And another interesting thing, Bartley,” Wilson said deliberately, leaning deeper into his chair, “is that I don’t feel that way anymore. I believe in you.”

Alexander laughed. “Nonsense! It’s not I you feel sure of; it’s Winifred. People often make that mistake.”

Alexander laughed. “That’s ridiculous! You’re not sure about me; it’s Winifred you’re certain of. People often get that wrong.”

“No, I’m serious, Alexander. You’ve changed. You have decided to leave some birds in the bushes. You used to want them all.”

“No, I’m serious, Alexander. You’ve changed. You’ve decided to leave some birds in the bushes. You used to want to catch them all.”

Alexander’s chair creaked. “I still want a good many,” he said rather gloomily. “After all, life doesn’t offer a man much. You work like the devil and think you’re getting on, and suddenly you discover that you’ve only been getting yourself tied up. A million details drink you dry. Your life keeps going for things you don’t want, and all the while you are being built alive into a social structure you don’t care a rap about. I sometimes wonder what sort of chap I’d have been if I hadn’t been this sort; I want to go and live out his potentialities, too. I haven’t forgotten that there are birds in the bushes.”

Alexander's chair creaked. “I still want a lot,” he said rather gloomily. “After all, life doesn't offer much. You work like crazy and think you're making progress, and suddenly you realize you've just ended up tangled. A million details drain you dry. Your life keeps chasing after things you don’t want, and all the while you're getting buried alive in a social structure you couldn't care less about. I sometimes wonder what kind of guy I’d have been if I hadn’t been this way; I want to go and explore his potential too. I haven't forgotten that there are birds in the bushes.”

Bartley stopped and sat frowning into the fire, his shoulders thrust forward as if he were about to spring at something. Wilson watched him, wondering. His old pupil always stimulated him at first, and then vastly wearied him. The machinery was always pounding away in this man, and Wilson preferred companions of a more reflective habit of mind. He could not help feeling that there were unreasoning and unreasonable activities going on in Alexander all the while; that even after dinner, when most men achieve a decent impersonality, Bartley had merely closed the door of the engine-room and come up for an airing. The machinery itself was still pounding on.

Bartley stopped and sat, frowning at the fire, his shoulders hunched forward as if he were about to leap at something. Wilson watched him, curious. His former student always energized him at first but then left him feeling exhausted. There was always a constant buzz of activity in this guy, and Wilson preferred friends who were more contemplative. He couldn't shake the feeling that there were irrational and chaotic things happening inside Alexander all the time; that even after dinner, when most people manage to relax a bit, Bartley had just shut the door to the engine room and come up for some fresh air. The machinery itself was still going strong.

Bartley’s abstraction and Wilson’s reflections were cut short by a rustle at the door, and almost before they could rise Mrs. Alexander was standing by the hearth. Alexander brought a chair for her, but she shook her head.

Bartley’s deep thoughts and Wilson’s musings were interrupted by a rustle at the door, and almost before they could get up, Mrs. Alexander was standing by the fireplace. Alexander brought over a chair for her, but she shook her head.

“No, dear, thank you. I only came in to see whether you and Professor Wilson were quite comfortable. I am going down to the music-room.”

“No, thanks, dear. I just came in to check if you and Professor Wilson are comfortable. I’m heading down to the music room.”

“Why not practice here? Wilson and I are growing very dull. We are tired of talk.”

“Why not practice here? Wilson and I are getting pretty boring. We’re tired of just talking.”

“Yes, I beg you, Mrs. Alexander,” Wilson began, but he got no further.

“Yes, please, Mrs. Alexander,” Wilson started, but he couldn’t continue.

“Why, certainly, if you won’t find me too noisy. I am working on the Schumann ‘Carnival,’ and, though I don’t practice a great many hours, I am very methodical,” Mrs. Alexander explained, as she crossed to an upright piano that stood at the back of the room, near the windows.

“Of course, if you don’t mind me being a bit loud. I’m working on the Schumann ‘Carnival,’ and even though I don’t practice for hours on end, I’m very organized,” Mrs. Alexander said as she walked over to an upright piano at the back of the room, near the windows.

Wilson followed, and, having seen her seated, dropped into a chair behind her. She played brilliantly and with great musical feeling. Wilson could not imagine her permitting herself to do anything badly, but he was surprised at the cleanness of her execution. He wondered how a woman with so many duties had managed to keep herself up to a standard really professional. It must take a great deal of time, certainly, and Bartley must take a great deal of time. Wilson reflected that he had never before known a woman who had been able, for any considerable while, to support both a personal and an intellectual passion. Sitting behind her, he watched her with perplexed admiration, shading his eyes with his hand. In her dinner dress she looked even younger than in street clothes, and, for all her composure and self-sufficiency, she seemed to him strangely alert and vibrating, as if in her, too, there were something never altogether at rest. He felt that he knew pretty much what she demanded in people and what she demanded from life, and he wondered how she squared Bartley. After ten years she must know him; and however one took him, however much one admired him, one had to admit that he simply wouldn’t square. He was a natural force, certainly, but beyond that, Wilson felt, he was not anything very really or for very long at a time.

Wilson followed her in and, once he saw her seated, he dropped into a chair behind her. She played beautifully and with a lot of musical feeling. Wilson couldn't imagine her allowing herself to do anything poorly, but he was surprised by the clarity of her performance. He wondered how a woman with so many responsibilities had managed to maintain a standard that was truly professional. It had to take a lot of time, and Bartley must take a lot of time as well. Wilson noted that he had never known a woman who could sustain both a personal and an intellectual passion for any significant length of time. Sitting behind her, he watched her with a mix of admiration and confusion, shading his eyes with his hand. In her dinner dress, she looked even younger than in casual clothes, and despite her calm and self-sufficiency, she seemed strangely alert and vibrant, as if there was something in her that was never completely still. He felt he understood what she expected from people and from life, and he wondered how she reconciled that with Bartley. After ten years, she must know him well; and no matter how one viewed him, or how much one admired him, one had to admit that he simply didn’t fit into any conventional mold. He was definitely a natural force, but beyond that, Wilson felt he wasn't anything truly substantial or consistent for very long.

Wilson glanced toward the fire, where Bartley’s profile was still wreathed in cigar smoke that curled up more and more slowly. His shoulders were sunk deep in the cushions and one hand hung large and passive over the arm of his chair. He had slipped on a purple velvet smoking-coat. His wife, Wilson surmised, had chosen it. She was clearly very proud of his good looks and his fine color. But, with the glow of an immediate interest gone out of it, the engineer’s face looked tired, even a little haggard. The three lines in his forehead, directly above the nose, deepened as he sat thinking, and his powerful head drooped forward heavily. Although Alexander was only forty-three, Wilson thought that beneath his vigorous color he detected the dulling weariness of on-coming middle age.

Wilson looked toward the fire, where Bartley’s profile was still surrounded by cigar smoke that curled up more slowly. His shoulders were sunk deep into the cushions, and one hand hung limply over the arm of his chair. He had put on a purple velvet smoking coat. Wilson guessed his wife had picked it out. She seemed very proud of his looks and vibrant color. But without the excitement of the moment, the engineer’s face appeared tired, even a bit worn out. The three lines in his forehead, directly above his nose, deepened as he sat lost in thought, and his strong head drooped forward heavily. Although Alexander was only forty-three, Wilson sensed that beneath his healthy color, there was a creeping weariness of approaching middle age.

The next afternoon, at the hour when the river was beginning to redden under the declining sun, Wilson again found himself facing Mrs. Alexander at the tea-table in the library.

The next afternoon, at the time when the river was starting to turn red under the setting sun, Wilson once again found himself facing Mrs. Alexander at the tea table in the library.

“Well,” he remarked, when he was bidden to give an account of himself, “there was a long morning with the psychologists, luncheon with Bartley at his club, more psychologists, and here I am. I’ve looked forward to this hour all day.”

“Well,” he said, when asked to share what he had been up to, “I spent a long morning with the psychologists, had lunch with Bartley at his club, met with more psychologists, and here I am. I've been looking forward to this hour all day.”

Mrs. Alexander smiled at him across the vapor from the kettle. “And do you remember where we stopped yesterday?”

Mrs. Alexander smiled at him over the steam from the kettle. “And do you remember where we left off yesterday?”

“Perfectly. I was going to show you a picture. But I doubt whether I have color enough in me. Bartley makes me feel a faded monochrome. You can’t get at the young Bartley except by means of color.” Wilson paused and deliberated. Suddenly he broke out: “He wasn’t a remarkable student, you know, though he was always strong in higher mathematics. His work in my own department was quite ordinary. It was as a powerfully equipped nature that I found him interesting. That is the most interesting thing a teacher can find. It has the fascination of a scientific discovery. We come across other pleasing and endearing qualities so much oftener than we find force.”

“Absolutely. I was going to show you a picture. But I’m not sure I have enough color in me. Bartley makes me feel dull and washed out. You can only really connect with the young Bartley through color.” Wilson paused to think. Then he exclaimed, “He wasn’t an exceptional student, you know, even though he excelled in higher mathematics. His work in my department was pretty average. What I found interesting was his powerful natural ability. That’s the most fascinating thing a teacher can discover. It’s like the thrill of a scientific breakthrough. We encounter other charming and lovable traits much more often than we come across true strength.”

“And, after all,” said Mrs. Alexander, “that is the thing we all live upon. It is the thing that takes us forward.”

“And, after all,” Mrs. Alexander said, “that’s what we all live for. It’s what moves us forward.”

Wilson thought she spoke a little wistfully. “Exactly,” he assented warmly. “It builds the bridges into the future, over which the feet of every one of us will go.”

Wilson thought she sounded a bit nostalgic. “Exactly,” he agreed warmly. “It creates the bridges to the future, which we’ll all walk across.”

“How interested I am to hear you put it in that way. The bridges into the future—I often say that to myself. Bartley’s bridges always seem to me like that. Have you ever seen his first suspension bridge in Canada, the one he was doing when I first knew him? I hope you will see it sometime. We were married as soon as it was finished, and you will laugh when I tell you that it always has a rather bridal look to me. It is over the wildest river, with mists and clouds always battling about it, and it is as delicate as a cobweb hanging in the sky. It really was a bridge into the future. You have only to look at it to feel that it meant the beginning of a great career. But I have a photograph of it here.” She drew a portfolio from behind a bookcase. “And there, you see, on the hill, is my aunt’s house.”

“How interested I am to hear you say it that way. The bridges into the future—I often think that to myself. Bartley’s bridges always feel like that to me. Have you ever seen his first suspension bridge in Canada, the one he was working on when I first knew him? I hope you get to see it someday. We got married right after it was finished, and you’ll laugh when I tell you that it always has a somewhat bridal look to me. It spans the wildest river, with mists and clouds constantly swirling around it, and it’s as delicate as a cobweb hanging in the sky. It really was a bridge into the future. Just looking at it makes you feel like it marked the beginning of a great career. But I have a photograph of it here.” She pulled a portfolio from behind a bookcase. “And there, you see, on the hill, is my aunt’s house.”

Wilson took up the photograph. “Bartley was telling me something about your aunt last night. She must have been a delightful person.”

Wilson picked up the photograph. “Bartley was telling me something about your aunt last night. She must have been a wonderful person.”

Winifred laughed. “The bridge, you see, was just at the foot of the hill, and the noise of the engines annoyed her very much at first. But after she met Bartley she pretended to like it, and said it was a good thing to be reminded that there were things going on in the world. She loved life, and Bartley brought a great deal of it in to her when he came to the house. Aunt Eleanor was very worldly in a frank, Early-Victorian manner. She liked men of action, and disliked young men who were careful of themselves and who, as she put it, were always trimming their wick as if they were afraid of their oil’s giving out. MacKeller, Bartley’s first chief, was an old friend of my aunt, and he told her that Bartley was a wild, ill-governed youth, which really pleased her very much. I remember we were sitting alone in the dusk after Bartley had been there for the first time. I knew that Aunt Eleanor had found him much to her taste, but she hadn’t said anything. Presently she came out, with a chuckle: ‘MacKeller found him sowing wild oats in London, I believe. I hope he didn’t stop him too soon. Life coquets with dashing fellows. The coming men are always like that. We must have him to dinner, my dear.’ And we did. She grew much fonder of Bartley than she was of me. I had been studying in Vienna, and she thought that absurd. She was interested in the army and in politics, and she had a great contempt for music and art and philosophy. She used to declare that the Prince Consort had brought all that stuff over out of Germany. She always sniffed when Bartley asked me to play for him. She considered that a newfangled way of making a match of it.”

Winifred laughed. “The bridge, you see, was right at the bottom of the hill, and the sound of the engines really annoyed her at first. But after she met Bartley, she pretended to enjoy it and said it was nice to be reminded that life was happening out there. She loved life, and Bartley brought a lot of it into her world when he visited the house. Aunt Eleanor was very worldly in a straightforward, Early-Victorian way. She liked men of action and disliked young men who were too careful about themselves and who, as she put it, were always trimming their wick as if they were afraid their oil might run out. MacKeller, Bartley’s first boss, was an old friend of my aunt, and he told her that Bartley was a wild, unruly young man, which she found quite pleasing. I remember we were sitting alone in the dim light after Bartley had been there for the first time. I knew Aunt Eleanor liked him, but she hadn’t mentioned it. Eventually, she chuckled and said, ‘MacKeller found him sowing wild oats in London, I believe. I hope he didn’t stop him too soon. Life flirts with bold men. The future leaders are always like that. We should invite him to dinner, my dear.’ And we did. She became much fonder of Bartley than of me. I had been studying in Vienna, which she thought was silly. She was interested in the army and politics, and she dismissed music, art, and philosophy. She always claimed that the Prince Consort had brought all that nonsense over from Germany. She would sniff when Bartley asked me to play for him, considering it a modern way of trying to set someone up.”

When Alexander came in a few moments later, he found Wilson and his wife still confronting the photograph. “Oh, let us get that out of the way,” he said, laughing. “Winifred, Thomas can bring my trunk down. I’ve decided to go over to New York to-morrow night and take a fast boat. I shall save two days.”

When Alexander walked in a few moments later, he saw Wilson and his wife still looking at the photograph. “Oh, let’s get that out of the way,” he said, laughing. “Winifred, Thomas can bring my trunk down. I’ve decided to head to New York tomorrow night and take a fast boat. I’ll save two days.”

CHAPTER II

On the night of his arrival in London, Alexander went immediately to the hotel on the Embankment at which he always stopped, and in the lobby he was accosted by an old acquaintance, Maurice Mainhall, who fell upon him with effusive cordiality and indicated a willingness to dine with him. Bartley never dined alone if he could help it, and Mainhall was a good gossip who always knew what had been going on in town; especially, he knew everything that was not printed in the newspapers. The nephew of one of the standard Victorian novelists, Mainhall bobbed about among the various literary cliques of London and its outlying suburbs, careful to lose touch with none of them. He had written a number of books himself; among them a “History of Dancing,” a “History of Costume,” a “Key to Shakespeare’s Sonnets,” a study of “The Poetry of Ernest Dowson,” etc. Although Mainhall’s enthusiasm was often tiresome, and although he was often unable to distinguish between facts and vivid figments of his imagination, his imperturbable good nature overcame even the people whom he bored most, so that they ended by becoming, in a reluctant manner, his friends. In appearance, Mainhall was astonishingly like the conventional stage-Englishman of American drama: tall and thin, with high, hitching shoulders and a small head glistening with closely brushed yellow hair. He spoke with an extreme Oxford accent, and when he was talking well, his face sometimes wore the rapt expression of a very emotional man listening to music. Mainhall liked Alexander because he was an engineer. He had preconceived ideas about everything, and his idea about Americans was that they should be engineers or mechanics. He hated them when they presumed to be anything else.

On the night he arrived in London, Alexander went straight to his usual hotel on the Embankment. In the lobby, he ran into an old friend, Maurice Mainhall, who greeted him with overly friendly enthusiasm and expressed a desire to have dinner together. Bartley never dined alone when he could avoid it, and Mainhall was a great gossip who always had the scoop on what was happening in town, especially the stuff that didn’t make it into the newspapers. The nephew of a well-known Victorian novelist, Mainhall mingled among various literary circles in London and its outskirts, making sure to stay connected with all of them. He had written several books himself, including a “History of Dancing,” a “History of Costume,” a “Key to Shakespeare’s Sonnets,” a study of “The Poetry of Ernest Dowson,” and more. Although Mainhall’s excitement could be exhausting, and he often confused facts with colorful fabrications of his own creation, his unwavering good humor could win over even those he bored the most, turning them into his reluctant friends. Physically, Mainhall resembled the stereotypical British character you'd see in American theater: tall and lanky, with high, stooped shoulders and a small head with meticulously styled blond hair. He spoke with a strong Oxford accent, and when he was animated in conversation, his face sometimes expressed the rapturous joy of an emotional person listening to music. Mainhall liked Alexander because he was an engineer. He had fixed ideas about everything, and his belief about Americans was that they should be engineers or mechanics. He disliked them when they thought they could be anything else.

While they sat at dinner Mainhall acquainted Bartley with the fortunes of his old friends in London, and as they left the table he proposed that they should go to see Hugh MacConnell’s new comedy, “Bog Lights.”

While they were having dinner, Mainhall filled Bartley in on the lives of their old friends in London, and as they got up from the table, he suggested they go see Hugh MacConnell’s new comedy, “Bog Lights.”

“It’s really quite the best thing MacConnell’s done,” he explained as they got into a hansom. “It’s tremendously well put on, too. Florence Merrill and Cyril Henderson. But Hilda Burgoyne’s the hit of the piece. Hugh’s written a delightful part for her, and she’s quite inexpressible. It’s been on only two weeks, and I’ve been half a dozen times already. I happen to have MacConnell’s box for tonight or there’d be no chance of our getting places. There’s everything in seeing Hilda while she’s fresh in a part. She’s apt to grow a bit stale after a time. The ones who have any imagination do.”

“It’s honestly the best thing MacConnell’s done,” he explained as they got into a cab. “It’s really well done, too. Florence Merrill and Cyril Henderson are great. But Hilda Burgoyne steals the show. Hugh has written an amazing role for her, and she’s just incredible. It’s only been on for two weeks, and I’ve already seen it half a dozen times. I happen to have MacConnell’s box for tonight; otherwise, we wouldn’t have a chance of getting seats. There’s a lot to be said for seeing Hilda while she’s still fresh in the role. She tends to get a bit stale after a while. Those with any imagination usually do.”

“Hilda Burgoyne!” Alexander exclaimed mildly. “Why, I haven’t heard of her for—years.”

“Hilda Burgoyne!” Alexander said casually. “Wow, I haven’t heard about her in—years.”

Mainhall laughed. “Then you can’t have heard much at all, my dear Alexander. It’s only lately, since MacConnell and his set have got hold of her, that she’s come up. Myself, I always knew she had it in her. If we had one real critic in London—but what can one expect? Do you know, Alexander,”—Mainhall looked with perplexity up into the top of the hansom and rubbed his pink cheek with his gloved finger,—“do you know, I sometimes think of taking to criticism seriously myself. In a way, it would be a sacrifice; but, dear me, we do need some one.”

Mainhall laughed. “Then you really haven’t heard much at all, my dear Alexander. It’s only recently, since MacConnell and his crew have taken notice of her, that she’s gotten any attention. I always believed she had it in her. If only we had one genuine critic in London—but what can you do? You know, Alexander,”—Mainhall looked up with confusion into the top of the cab and rubbed his pink cheek with his gloved finger,—“do you know, I sometimes consider taking up criticism seriously myself. It would be a bit of a sacrifice; but, goodness, we really need someone.”

Just then they drove up to the Duke of York’s, so Alexander did not commit himself, but followed Mainhall into the theatre. When they entered the stage-box on the left the first act was well under way, the scene being the interior of a cabin in the south of Ireland. As they sat down, a burst of applause drew Alexander’s attention to the stage. Miss Burgoyne and her donkey were thrusting their heads in at the half door. “After all,” he reflected, “there’s small probability of her recognizing me. She doubtless hasn’t thought of me for years.” He felt the enthusiasm of the house at once, and in a few moments he was caught up by the current of MacConnell’s irresistible comedy. The audience had come forewarned, evidently, and whenever the ragged slip of a donkey-girl ran upon the stage there was a deep murmur of approbation, every one smiled and glowed, and Mainhall hitched his heavy chair a little nearer the brass railing.

Just then, they pulled up to the Duke of York’s, so Alexander held back, following Mainhall into the theater. When they entered the left stage box, the first act was already in full swing, set in a cabin in the south of Ireland. As they sat down, a round of applause caught Alexander’s attention. Miss Burgoyne and her donkey were poking their heads through the half door. “After all,” he thought, “there’s little chance of her recognizing me. She probably hasn’t thought of me in years.” He immediately felt the energy of the crowd and soon found himself swept up in MacConnell’s hilarious comedy. The audience was clearly prepared, as every time the scruffy donkey-girl appeared on stage, there was a wave of approval, everyone smiled and lit up, and Mainhall scooted his heavy chair a bit closer to the brass railing.

“You see,” he murmured in Alexander’s ear, as the curtain fell on the first act, “one almost never sees a part like that done without smartness or mawkishness. Of course, Hilda is Irish,—the Burgoynes have been stage people for generations,—and she has the Irish voice. It’s delightful to hear it in a London theatre. That laugh, now, when she doubles over at the hips—who ever heard it out of Galway? She saves her hand, too. She’s at her best in the second act. She’s really MacConnell’s poetic motif, you see; makes the whole thing a fairy tale.”

“You see,” he whispered in Alexander’s ear as the curtain fell on the first act, “you hardly ever see a role like that performed without being clever or overly sentimental. Of course, Hilda is Irish—the Burgoynes have been in theater for generations—and she has that Irish accent. It’s wonderful to hear it in a London theater. That laugh, when she bends over at the hips—who ever heard that outside of Galway? She holds back her hand, too. She really shines in the second act. She’s truly MacConnell’s poetic motif, you see; it makes the whole thing feel like a fairy tale.”

The second act opened before Philly Doyle’s underground still, with Peggy and her battered donkey come in to smuggle a load of potheen across the bog, and to bring Philly word of what was doing in the world without, and of what was happening along the roadsides and ditches with the first gleam of fine weather. Alexander, annoyed by Mainhall’s sighs and exclamations, watched her with keen, half-skeptical interest. As Mainhall had said, she was the second act; the plot and feeling alike depended upon her lightness of foot, her lightness of touch, upon the shrewdness and deft fancifulness that played alternately, and sometimes together, in her mirthful brown eyes. When she began to dance, by way of showing the gossoons what she had seen in the fairy rings at night, the house broke into a prolonged uproar. After her dance she withdrew from the dialogue and retreated to the ditch wall back of Philly’s burrow, where she sat singing “The Rising of the Moon” and making a wreath of primroses for her donkey.

The second act opened in front of Philly Doyle’s underground still, with Peggy and her beaten-up donkey coming in to smuggle a load of potheen across the bog and to update Philly on what was happening in the outside world and along the roadsides and ditches with the first hint of nice weather. Alexander, annoyed by Mainhall’s sighs and exclamations, watched her with keen, half-skeptical interest. As Mainhall had noted, she was the second act; the plot and emotions hinged on her lightness of foot and touch, on the clever and playful spirit that flashed alternately, and sometimes together, in her lively brown eyes. When she started to dance, showing the boys what she had seen in the fairy rings at night, the house erupted into a lengthy cheer. After her dance, she pulled back from the conversation and retreated to the ditch wall behind Philly’s burrow, where she sat singing “The Rising of the Moon” and making a wreath of primroses for her donkey.

When the act was over Alexander and Mainhall strolled out into the corridor. They met a good many acquaintances; Mainhall, indeed, knew almost every one, and he babbled on incontinently, screwing his small head about over his high collar. Presently he hailed a tall, bearded man, grim-browed and rather battered-looking, who had his opera cloak on his arm and his hat in his hand, and who seemed to be on the point of leaving the theatre.

When the performance was finished, Alexander and Mainhall walked out into the hallway. They ran into quite a few people; Mainhall, in fact, recognized almost everyone, and he chatted away nonstop, twisting his small head around over his high collar. Soon enough, he called out to a tall, bearded man with a serious expression and a somewhat worn appearance, who had his opera cloak draped over his arm and his hat in hand, looking as if he was about to leave the theater.

“MacConnell, let me introduce Mr. Bartley Alexander. I say! It’s going famously to-night, Mac. And what an audience! You’ll never do anything like this again, mark me. A man writes to the top of his bent only once.”

“MacConnell, let me introduce you to Mr. Bartley Alexander. Wow! It’s going really well tonight, Mac. And what an audience! You’ll never have an opportunity like this again, believe me. A person writes their best work only once.”

The playwright gave Mainhall a curious look out of his deep-set faded eyes and made a wry face. “And have I done anything so fool as that, now?” he asked.

The playwright gave Mainhall a curious look with his deep-set, tired eyes and made a sour face. “And have I done something as foolish as that, now?” he asked.

“That’s what I was saying,” Mainhall lounged a little nearer and dropped into a tone even more conspicuously confidential. “And you’ll never bring Hilda out like this again. Dear me, Mac, the girl couldn’t possibly be better, you know.”

“That's what I was saying,” Mainhall relaxed a bit closer and switched to an even more obviously secretive tone. “And you’re never going to get Hilda out like this again. Honestly, Mac, the girl couldn’t be doing any better, you know.”

MacConnell grunted. “She’ll do well enough if she keeps her pace and doesn’t go off on us in the middle of the season, as she’s more than like to do.”

MacConnell grunted. “She’ll be fine as long as she keeps up her pace and doesn’t ditch us in the middle of the season, which she’s more likely to do.”

He nodded curtly and made for the door, dodging acquaintances as he went.

He nodded briefly and headed for the door, avoiding people he knew as he passed.

“Poor old Hugh,” Mainhall murmured. “He’s hit terribly hard. He’s been wanting to marry Hilda these three years and more. She doesn’t take up with anybody, you know. Irene Burgoyne, one of her family, told me in confidence that there was a romance somewhere back in the beginning. One of your countrymen, Alexander, by the way; an American student whom she met in Paris, I believe. I dare say it’s quite true that there’s never been any one else.” Mainhall vouched for her constancy with a loftiness that made Alexander smile, even while a kind of rapid excitement was tingling through him. Blinking up at the lights, Mainhall added in his luxurious, worldly way: “She’s an elegant little person, and quite capable of an extravagant bit of sentiment like that. Here comes Sir Harry Towne. He’s another who’s awfully keen about her. Let me introduce you. Sir Harry Towne, Mr. Bartley Alexander, the American engineer.”

“Poor Hugh,” Mainhall murmured. “He’s really suffering. He’s wanted to marry Hilda for over three years now. She doesn’t get involved with anyone, you know. Irene Burgoyne, one of her relatives, told me in confidence that there was a romance in the beginning. One of your fellow countrymen, Alexander, by the way; an American student she met in Paris, I believe. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s true that she’s never been with anyone else.” Mainhall backed up her loyalty with a confidence that made Alexander smile, even as a thrilling excitement coursed through him. Glancing up at the lights, Mainhall continued in his sophisticated, worldly style: “She’s a charming young woman, fully capable of an intense sentiment like that. Here comes Sir Harry Towne. He’s another guy who’s really interested in her. Let me introduce you. Sir Harry Towne, Mr. Bartley Alexander, the American engineer.”

Sir Harry Towne bowed and said that he had met Mr. Alexander and his wife in Tokyo.

Sir Harry Towne bowed and said he had met Mr. Alexander and his wife in Tokyo.

Mainhall cut in impatiently.

Mainhall interrupted impatiently.

“I say, Sir Harry, the little girl’s going famously to-night, isn’t she?”

“I say, Sir Harry, the little girl is doing great tonight, isn’t she?”

Sir Harry wrinkled his brows judiciously. “Do you know, I thought the dance a bit conscious to-night, for the first time. The fact is, she’s feeling rather seedy, poor child. Westmere and I were back after the first act, and we thought she seemed quite uncertain of herself. A little attack of nerves, possibly.”

Sir Harry frowned thoughtfully. “You know, I felt like the dance was a bit forced tonight, for the first time. The truth is, she’s feeling kind of out of sorts, poor thing. Westmere and I came back after the first act, and we thought she looked pretty unsure of herself. Maybe just a little case of nerves.”

He bowed as the warning bell rang, and Mainhall whispered: “You know Lord Westmere, of course,—the stooped man with the long gray mustache, talking to Lady Dowle. Lady Westmere is very fond of Hilda.”

He bowed as the warning bell rang, and Mainhall whispered, “You know Lord Westmere, right? He’s the hunched guy with the long gray mustache, chatting with Lady Dowle. Lady Westmere really likes Hilda.”

When they reached their box the house was darkened and the orchestra was playing “The Cloak of Old Gaul.” In a moment Peggy was on the stage again, and Alexander applauded vigorously with the rest. He even leaned forward over the rail a little. For some reason he felt pleased and flattered by the enthusiasm of the audience. In the half-light he looked about at the stalls and boxes and smiled a little consciously, recalling with amusement Sir Harry’s judicial frown. He was beginning to feel a keen interest in the slender, barefoot donkey-girl who slipped in and out of the play, singing, like some one winding through a hilly field. He leaned forward and beamed felicitations as warmly as Mainhall himself when, at the end of the play, she came again and again before the curtain, panting a little and flushed, her eyes dancing and her eager, nervous little mouth tremulous with excitement.

When they got to their box, the theater was dark, and the orchestra was playing "The Cloak of Old Gaul." In a moment, Peggy was back on stage, and Alexander clapped enthusiastically along with everyone else. He even leaned a bit over the railing. For some reason, he felt pleased and flattered by the crowd's excitement. In the dim light, he glanced around at the seats and boxes, smiling a little self-consciously as he remembered Sir Harry’s serious expression. He was starting to take a real interest in the slender, barefoot donkey-girl who came in and out of the play, singing like someone moving through a hilly landscape. He leaned forward, beaming with congratulations just as warmly as Mainhall when, at the end of the performance, she appeared again and again before the curtain, slightly out of breath and flushed, her eyes sparkling and her eager, nervous little mouth trembling with excitement.

When Alexander returned to his hotel—he shook Mainhall at the door of the theatre—he had some supper brought up to his room, and it was late before he went to bed. He had not thought of Hilda Burgoyne for years; indeed, he had almost forgotten her. He had last written to her from Canada, after he first met Winifred, telling her that everything was changed with him—that he had met a woman whom he would marry if he could; if he could not, then all the more was everything changed for him. Hilda had never replied to his letter. He felt guilty and unhappy about her for a time, but after Winifred promised to marry him he really forgot Hilda altogether. When he wrote her that everything was changed for him, he was telling the truth. After he met Winifred Pemberton he seemed to himself like a different man. One night when he and Winifred were sitting together on the bridge, he told her that things had happened while he was studying abroad that he was sorry for,—one thing in particular,—and he asked her whether she thought she ought to know about them. She considered a moment and then said “No, I think not, though I am glad you ask me. You see, one can’t be jealous about things in general; but about particular, definite, personal things,”—here she had thrown her hands up to his shoulders with a quick, impulsive gesture—“oh, about those I should be very jealous. I should torture myself—I couldn’t help it.” After that it was easy to forget, actually to forget. He wondered to-night, as he poured his wine, how many times he had thought of Hilda in the last ten years. He had been in London more or less, but he had never happened to hear of her. “All the same,” he lifted his glass, “here’s to you, little Hilda. You’ve made things come your way, and I never thought you’d do it.

When Alexander got back to his hotel—he had just shaken Mainhall at the theatre door—he ordered some dinner to his room and didn’t end up going to bed until late. He hadn’t thought about Hilda Burgoyne in years; in fact, he had almost forgotten her. The last time he wrote to her was from Canada, after he had first met Winifred, telling her that everything had changed for him—that he had met a woman he would marry if he could; if he couldn’t, then everything was even more different for him. Hilda never replied to his letter. He felt guilty and unhappy about her for a while, but after Winifred agreed to marry him, he completely forgot about Hilda. When he told her that everything had changed for him, he was being honest. After meeting Winifred Pemberton, he felt like a completely different man. One night, while he and Winifred were sitting together on the bridge, he shared that there were things he regretted from his time studying abroad—one thing in particular—and he asked if she thought she should know about it. She thought for a moment and then said, “No, I don’t think so, but I appreciate you asking me. You know, you can’t be jealous about things in general; but when it comes to specific, personal things,”—here she playfully threw her hands onto his shoulders—“oh, about those, I would be very jealous. I would drive myself crazy—I couldn’t help it.” After that, it was easy to actually forget. Tonight, as he poured his wine, he wondered how many times he had thought about Hilda in the last ten years. He had been in London on and off, but he had never happened to hear anything about her. “Still,” he lifted his glass, “here’s to you, little Hilda. You’ve made things happen for you, and I never thought you’d do it.”

“Of course,” he reflected, “she always had that combination of something homely and sensible, and something utterly wild and daft. But I never thought she’d do anything. She hadn’t much ambition then, and she was too fond of trifles. She must care about the theatre a great deal more than she used to. Perhaps she has me to thank for something, after all. Sometimes a little jolt like that does one good. She was a daft, generous little thing. I’m glad she’s held her own since. After all, we were awfully young. It was youth and poverty and proximity, and everything was young and kindly. I shouldn’t wonder if she could laugh about it with me now. I shouldn’t wonder— But they’ve probably spoiled her, so that she’d be tiresome if one met her again.”

“Of course,” he thought, “she always had that mix of being down-to-earth and sensible and something completely wild and silly. But I never imagined she’d actually do anything. She didn’t have much ambition back then and was too into little things. She must care about the theater a lot more than she used to. Maybe she has me to thank for something, after all. Sometimes a little shock like that is good for you. She was a silly, generous little thing. I’m happy she’s managed to do well since then. After all, we were really young. It was youth and poverty and being close to each other, and everything felt fresh and kind. I wouldn’t be surprised if she could laugh about it with me now. I wouldn’t be surprised— But they’ve probably spoiled her, so she’d be annoying if you ran into her again.”

Bartley smiled and yawned and went to bed.

Bartley smiled, yawned, and went to bed.

CHAPTER III

The next evening Alexander dined alone at a club, and at about nine o’clock he dropped in at the Duke of York’s. The house was sold out and he stood through the second act. When he returned to his hotel he examined the new directory, and found Miss Burgoyne’s address still given as off Bedford Square, though at a new number. He remembered that, in so far as she had been brought up at all, she had been brought up in Bloomsbury. Her father and mother played in the provinces most of the year, and she was left a great deal in the care of an old aunt who was crippled by rheumatism and who had had to leave the stage altogether. In the days when Alexander knew her, Hilda always managed to have a lodging of some sort about Bedford Square, because she clung tenaciously to such scraps and shreds of memories as were connected with it. The mummy room of the British Museum had been one of the chief delights of her childhood. That forbidding pile was the goal of her truant fancy, and she was sometimes taken there for a treat, as other children are taken to the theatre. It was long since Alexander had thought of any of these things, but now they came back to him quite fresh, and had a significance they did not have when they were first told him in his restless twenties. So she was still in the old neighborhood, near Bedford Square. The new number probably meant increased prosperity. He hoped so. He would like to know that she was snugly settled. He looked at his watch. It was a quarter past ten; she would not be home for a good two hours yet, and he might as well walk over and have a look at the place. He remembered the shortest way.

The next evening, Alexander had dinner alone at a club, and around nine o’clock, he stopped by the Duke of York’s. The house was packed, so he stood through the second act. When he got back to his hotel, he checked the new directory and found Miss Burgoyne’s address still listed off Bedford Square, though at a new number. He remembered that, as much as she had been raised at all, it had been in Bloomsbury. Her parents performed in the provinces most of the year, leaving her largely in the care of an old aunt who was crippled by rheumatism and had to leave the stage completely. Back when Alexander knew her, Hilda always managed to have some sort of lodging near Bedford Square because she clung to whatever memories she had associated with it. The mummy room of the British Museum had been one of the highlights of her childhood. That imposing building was the destination of her wandering imagination, and she was sometimes taken there for fun, like other kids are taken to the theater. It had been a long time since Alexander had thought about any of this, but now those memories returned to him vividly, carrying a significance they hadn’t had when he first heard them in his restless twenties. So she was still in the old neighborhood, close to Bedford Square. The new number likely indicated some success. He hoped so. He would like to know that she was comfortably settled. He glanced at his watch. It was a quarter past ten; she wouldn’t be home for at least another two hours, so he might as well walk over and take a look at the place. He recalled the shortest route.

It was a warm, smoky evening, and there was a grimy moon. He went through Covent Garden to Oxford Street, and as he turned into Museum Street he walked more slowly, smiling at his own nervousness as he approached the sullen gray mass at the end. He had not been inside the Museum, actually, since he and Hilda used to meet there; sometimes to set out for gay adventures at Twickenham or Richmond, sometimes to linger about the place for a while and to ponder by Lord Elgin’s marbles upon the lastingness of some things, or, in the mummy room, upon the awful brevity of others. Since then Bartley had always thought of the British Museum as the ultimate repository of mortality, where all the dead things in the world were assembled to make one’s hour of youth the more precious. One trembled lest before he got out it might somehow escape him, lest he might drop the glass from over-eagerness and see it shivered on the stone floor at his feet. How one hid his youth under his coat and hugged it! And how good it was to turn one’s back upon all that vaulted cold, to take Hilda’s arm and hurry out of the great door and down the steps into the sunlight among the pigeons—to know that the warm and vital thing within him was still there and had not been snatched away to flush Cæsar’s lean cheek or to feed the veins of some bearded Assyrian king. They in their day had carried the flaming liquor, but to-day was his! So the song used to run in his head those summer mornings a dozen years ago. Alexander walked by the place very quietly, as if he were afraid of waking some one.

It was a warm, smoky evening, and the moon was grimy. He made his way through Covent Garden to Oxford Street, and as he turned onto Museum Street, he slowed down, smiling at his own nervousness as he approached the gloomy gray building at the end. He hadn’t actually been inside the Museum since he and Hilda used to meet there; sometimes they’d head out for fun adventures at Twickenham or Richmond, and other times they’d hang around for a bit, contemplating Lord Elgin’s marbles and the permanence of certain things, or in the mummy room, reflecting on the terrifying brevity of others. Since then, Bartley had always viewed the British Museum as the ultimate collection of mortality, where all the dead things in the world were gathered to make his moments of youth feel even more valuable. One would tremble at the thought that before he left, he might somehow lose it, that he might drop the glass from being too eager and watch it shatter on the stone floor at his feet. How one concealed their youth under their coat and held it close! And how wonderful it was to turn away from all that coldness, take Hilda’s arm, and rush out through the big door and down the steps into the sunlight among the pigeons—to know that the warm, living thing inside him was still there and hadn’t been taken away to touch Caesar’s lean cheek or nourish the veins of some bearded Assyrian king. They had carried the fiery essence in their time, but today belonged to him! That was the tune that played in his head on those summer mornings a dozen years ago. Alexander walked past the place very quietly, as if he were afraid of waking someone.

He crossed Bedford Square and found the number he was looking for. The house, a comfortable, well-kept place enough, was dark except for the four front windows on the second floor, where a low, even light was burning behind the white muslin sash curtains. Outside there were window boxes, painted white and full of flowers. Bartley was making a third round of the Square when he heard the far-flung hoof-beats of a hansom-cab horse, driven rapidly. He looked at his watch, and was astonished to find that it was a few minutes after twelve. He turned and walked back along the iron railing as the cab came up to Hilda’s number and stopped. The hansom must have been one that she employed regularly, for she did not stop to pay the driver. She stepped out quickly and lightly. He heard her cheerful “Good-night, cabby,” as she ran up the steps and opened the door with a latchkey. In a few moments the lights flared up brightly behind the white curtains, and as he walked away he heard a window raised. But he had gone too far to look up without turning round. He went back to his hotel, feeling that he had had a good evening, and he slept well.

He crossed Bedford Square and found the number he was looking for. The house, a comfortable and well-kept place, was dark except for the four front windows on the second floor, where a soft, steady light glowed behind the white muslin curtains. Outside, there were window boxes painted white and filled with flowers. Bartley was making a third loop around the Square when he heard the distant hoofbeats of a cab horse being driven quickly. He looked at his watch and was surprised to see it was just past twelve. He turned and walked back along the iron railing as the cab pulled up to Hilda’s place and stopped. The cab must have been one she used regularly, as she didn’t stop to pay the driver. She stepped out quickly and lightly. He heard her cheerful “Good night, cabby,” as she ran up the steps and unlocked the door with a key. In a few moments, the lights brightened behind the white curtains, and as he walked away, he heard a window open. But he had gone too far to look up without turning around. He returned to his hotel, feeling that he had had a good evening, and he slept well.

For the next few days Alexander was very busy. He took a desk in the office of a Scotch engineering firm on Henrietta Street, and was at work almost constantly. He avoided the clubs and usually dined alone at his hotel. One afternoon, after he had tea, he started for a walk down the Embankment toward Westminster, intending to end his stroll at Bedford Square and to ask whether Miss Burgoyne would let him take her to the theatre. But he did not go so far. When he reached the Abbey, he turned back and crossed Westminster Bridge and sat down to watch the trails of smoke behind the Houses of Parliament catch fire with the sunset. The slender towers were washed by a rain of golden light and licked by little flickering flames; Somerset House and the bleached gray pinnacles about Whitehall were floated in a luminous haze. The yellow light poured through the trees and the leaves seemed to burn with soft fires. There was a smell of acacias in the air everywhere, and the laburnums were dripping gold over the walls of the gardens. It was a sweet, lonely kind of summer evening. Remembering Hilda as she used to be, was doubtless more satisfactory than seeing her as she must be now—and, after all, Alexander asked himself, what was it but his own young years that he was remembering?

For the next few days, Alexander was very busy. He took a desk at a Scottish engineering firm office on Henrietta Street and was working almost nonstop. He avoided the clubs and usually ate alone at his hotel. One afternoon, after having tea, he set out for a walk along the Embankment toward Westminster, planning to end his stroll at Bedford Square and ask Miss Burgoyne if she would let him take her to the theater. But he didn’t go that far. When he reached the Abbey, he turned back and crossed Westminster Bridge, sitting down to watch the trails of smoke behind the Houses of Parliament light up with the sunset. The slender towers were bathed in golden light and flickering flames; Somerset House and the pale gray peaks around Whitehall were enveloped in a glowing haze. The yellow light poured through the trees, and the leaves seemed to glow with soft fires. The scent of acacias filled the air, and the laburnums were dripping gold over the garden walls. It was a sweet, lonely kind of summer evening. Remembering Hilda as she used to be was probably more satisfying than seeing her as she must be now—and, after all, Alexander thought, what was he really remembering but his own youth?

He crossed back to Westminster, went up to the Temple, and sat down to smoke in the Middle Temple gardens, listening to the thin voice of the fountain and smelling the spice of the sycamores that came out heavily in the damp evening air. He thought, as he sat there, about a great many things: about his own youth and Hilda’s; above all, he thought of how glorious it had been, and how quickly it had passed; and, when it had passed, how little worth while anything was. None of the things he had gained in the least compensated. In the last six years his reputation had become, as the saying is, popular. Four years ago he had been called to Japan to deliver, at the Emperor’s request, a course of lectures at the Imperial University, and had instituted reforms throughout the islands, not only in the practice of bridge-building but in drainage and road-making. On his return he had undertaken the bridge at Moorlock, in Canada, the most important piece of bridge-building going on in the world,—a test, indeed, of how far the latest practice in bridge structure could be carried. It was a spectacular undertaking by reason of its very size, and Bartley realized that, whatever else he might do, he would probably always be known as the engineer who designed the great Moorlock Bridge, the longest cantilever in existence. Yet it was to him the least satisfactory thing he had ever done. He was cramped in every way by a niggardly commission, and was using lighter structural material than he thought proper. He had vexations enough, too, with his work at home. He had several bridges under way in the United States, and they were always being held up by strikes and delays resulting from a general industrial unrest.

He crossed back to Westminster, went up to the Temple, and sat down to smoke in the Middle Temple gardens, listening to the gentle sound of the fountain and smelling the scent of the sycamores that were strong in the damp evening air. As he sat there, he thought about a lot of things: his own youth and Hilda’s; most of all, he thought about how wonderful it had been and how quickly it had gone; and once it was gone, how little anything seemed to matter. None of the things he had gained were even close to compensating for it. In the last six years, his reputation had, as the saying goes, become popular. Four years ago, he was called to Japan at the Emperor’s request to give a series of lectures at the Imperial University and had set in motion reforms across the islands, not just in bridge-building but also in drainage and road construction. Upon his return, he took on the bridge at Moorlock in Canada, the most significant bridge construction happening in the world—a real test of how far modern bridge design could go. It was an impressive project because of its sheer size, and Bartley understood that, no matter what else he did, he would probably always be known as the engineer who designed the great Moorlock Bridge, the longest cantilever bridge in existence. Yet it was the least satisfying accomplishment he had ever managed. He felt restricted by a stingy commission and was using lighter structural materials than he considered appropriate. He also faced plenty of frustrations with his work back home. He had several bridges in progress in the United States, and they were constantly being delayed by strikes and disruptions due to widespread industrial unrest.

Though Alexander often told himself he had never put more into his work than he had done in the last few years, he had to admit that he had never got so little out of it. He was paying for success, too, in the demands made on his time by boards of civic enterprise and committees of public welfare. The obligations imposed by his wife’s fortune and position were sometimes distracting to a man who followed his profession, and he was expected to be interested in a great many worthy endeavors on her account as well as on his own. His existence was becoming a network of great and little details. He had expected that success would bring him freedom and power; but it had brought only power that was in itself another kind of restraint. He had always meant to keep his personal liberty at all costs, as old MacKeller, his first chief, had done, and not, like so many American engineers, to become a part of a professional movement, a cautious board member, a Nestor de pontibus. He happened to be engaged in work of public utility, but he was not willing to become what is called a public man. He found himself living exactly the kind of life he had determined to escape. What, he asked himself, did he want with these genial honors and substantial comforts? Hardships and difficulties he had carried lightly; overwork had not exhausted him; but this dead calm of middle life which confronted him,—of that he was afraid. He was not ready for it. It was like being buried alive. In his youth he would not have believed such a thing possible. The one thing he had really wanted all his life was to be free; and there was still something unconquered in him, something besides the strong work-horse that his profession had made of him. He felt rich to-night in the possession of that unstultified survival; in the light of his experience, it was more precious than honors or achievement. In all those busy, successful years there had been nothing so good as this hour of wild light-heartedness. This feeling was the only happiness that was real to him, and such hours were the only ones in which he could feel his own continuous identity—feel the boy he had been in the rough days of the old West, feel the youth who had worked his way across the ocean on a cattle-ship and gone to study in Paris without a dollar in his pocket. The man who sat in his offices in Boston was only a powerful machine. Under the activities of that machine the person who, in such moments as this, he felt to be himself, was fading and dying. He remembered how, when he was a little boy and his father called him in the morning, he used to leap from his bed into the full consciousness of himself. That consciousness was Life itself. Whatever took its place, action, reflection, the power of concentrated thought, were only functions of a mechanism useful to society; things that could be bought in the market. There was only one thing that had an absolute value for each individual, and it was just that original impulse, that internal heat, that feeling of one’s self in one’s own breast.

Though Alexander often told himself he had never put more into his work than he had in the last few years, he had to admit that he had never gotten so little out of it. He was paying for success too, with the demands on his time from civic boards and public welfare committees. The obligations imposed by his wife’s wealth and status were sometimes distracting for a man committed to his profession, and he was expected to care about many worthy causes for her sake as well as his own. His life was becoming a web of big and small details. He had expected that success would bring him freedom and power, but it had only brought a type of power that felt like another form of restriction. He’d always intended to preserve his personal freedom at all costs, like old MacKeller, his first boss, and not, like so many American engineers, become part of a professional movement, a cautious board member, a Nestor de pontibus. He happened to be involved in public utility work, but he didn’t want to become what’s called a public figure. He found himself living exactly the kind of life he had planned to escape. What, he wondered, did he want with these friendly honors and comfy living? Hardships and challenges he had handled easily; overwork hadn’t worn him out; but this dull calm of middle age that faced him—he was afraid of that. He wasn’t ready for it. It felt like being buried alive. In his youth, he would never have believed such a thing was possible. The one thing he had truly wanted his whole life was to be free; yet there was still something unconquered in him, something more than the strong workhorse his profession had made him. He felt rich tonight with that unrestrained survival; in light of his experience, it was more valuable than honors or achievements. In all those busy, successful years, there had been nothing as good as this hour of wild light-heartedness. This feeling was the only happiness that felt real to him, and such moments were the only times he could sense his own continuous identity—feel the boy he had been in the rough days of the old West, feel the young man who had crossed the ocean on a cattle ship and gone to study in Paris with no money in his pocket. The man sitting in his offices in Boston was just a powerful machine. Beneath that machine’s activities, the person he felt to be himself in moments like this was fading and dying. He remembered how, when he was little and his dad called him in the morning, he would leap out of bed, fully aware of himself. That awareness was Life itself. Whatever took its place—action, reflection, the power of focused thought—were just functions of a mechanism useful to society; things that could be bought in the market. There was only one thing that had absolute value for each individual, and that was that original impulse, that inner fire, that sense of oneself deep inside.

When Alexander walked back to his hotel, the red and green lights were blinking along the docks on the farther shore, and the soft white stars were shining in the wide sky above the river.

When Alexander walked back to his hotel, the red and green lights were flashing along the docks on the distant shore, and the soft white stars were shining in the expansive sky above the river.

The next night, and the next, Alexander repeated this same foolish performance. It was always Miss Burgoyne whom he started out to find, and he got no farther than the Temple gardens and the Embankment. It was a pleasant kind of loneliness. To a man who was so little given to reflection, whose dreams always took the form of definite ideas, reaching into the future, there was a seductive excitement in renewing old experiences in imagination. He started out upon these walks half guiltily, with a curious longing and expectancy which were wholly gratified by solitude. Solitude, but not solitariness; for he walked shoulder to shoulder with a shadowy companion—not little Hilda Burgoyne, by any means, but some one vastly dearer to him than she had ever been—his own young self, the youth who had waited for him upon the steps of the British Museum that night, and who, though he had tried to pass so quietly, had known him and come down and linked an arm in his.

The next night, and the next, Alexander went through the same pointless routine. He always set out to find Miss Burgoyne, but he never got any farther than the Temple gardens and the Embankment. It felt like a nice kind of loneliness. For someone like him, who rarely reflected and whose dreams were always about clear goals for the future, there was a thrilling pleasure in revisiting old experiences through his imagination. He began these walks with a hint of guilt, driven by a strange mix of longing and anticipation that solitude completely satisfied. Solitude, but not being alone; because he walked side by side with a shadowy companion—not little Hilda Burgoyne, far from it, but someone much more precious to him than she had ever been—his own younger self, the young man who had waited for him on the steps of the British Museum that night, and who, even though he had tried to slip by unnoticed, had recognized him, stepped down, and linked arms with him.

It was not until long afterward that Alexander learned that for him this youth was the most dangerous of companions.

It wasn't until much later that Alexander realized this young man was the most dangerous companion he could have.

One Sunday evening, at Lady Walford’s, Alexander did at last meet Hilda Burgoyne. Mainhall had told him that she would probably be there. He looked about for her rather nervously, and finally found her at the farther end of the large drawing-room, the centre of a circle of men, young and old. She was apparently telling them a story. They were all laughing and bending toward her. When she saw Alexander, she rose quickly and put out her hand. The other men drew back a little to let him approach.

One Sunday evening at Lady Walford's, Alexander finally met Hilda Burgoyne. Mainhall had mentioned that she would likely be there. He looked around for her a bit anxiously and eventually spotted her at the other end of the spacious drawing room, surrounded by a group of men, both young and old. She seemed to be sharing a story, and everyone was laughing and leaning in toward her. When she noticed Alexander, she quickly stood up and extended her hand. The other men stepped back slightly to allow him to come closer.

“Mr. Alexander! I am delighted. Have you been in London long?”

“Mr. Alexander! I'm so glad to see you. Have you been in London for a while?”

Bartley bowed, somewhat laboriously, over her hand. “Long enough to have seen you more than once. How fine it all is!”

Bartley bowed, a bit awkwardly, over her hand. “I've seen you more than once. It's all so wonderful!”

She laughed as if she were pleased. “I’m glad you think so. I like it. Won’t you join us here?”

She laughed like she was happy. “I’m glad you think so. I like it. Won’t you join us here?”

“Miss Burgoyne was just telling us about a donkey-boy she had in Galway last summer,” Sir Harry Towne explained as the circle closed up again. Lord Westmere stroked his long white mustache with his bloodless hand and looked at Alexander blankly. Hilda was a good story-teller. She was sitting on the edge of her chair, as if she had alighted there for a moment only. Her primrose satin gown seemed like a soft sheath for her slender, supple figure, and its delicate color suited her white Irish skin and brown hair. Whatever she wore, people felt the charm of her active, girlish body with its slender hips and quick, eager shoulders. Alexander heard little of the story, but he watched Hilda intently. She must certainly, he reflected, be thirty, and he was honestly delighted to see that the years had treated her so indulgently. If her face had changed at all, it was in a slight hardening of the mouth—still eager enough to be very disconcerting at times, he felt—and in an added air of self-possession and self-reliance. She carried her head, too, a little more resolutely.

“Miss Burgoyne was just telling us about a donkey-boy she had in Galway last summer,” Sir Harry Towne explained as the group closed in again. Lord Westmere stroked his long white mustache with his pale hand and looked at Alexander blankly. Hilda was a great storyteller. She was sitting on the edge of her chair, as if she had just landed there for a moment. Her primrose satin gown hugged her slender, graceful figure, and its soft color matched her fair Irish skin and brown hair perfectly. No matter what she wore, people could sense the charm of her active, youthful body with its slim hips and lively, eager shoulders. Alexander paid little attention to the story but watched Hilda closely. She must definitely be thirty, he thought, and he was genuinely pleased to see that the years had been kind to her. If her face had changed at all, it was just a slight hardening of the mouth—still eager enough to be quite unsettling at times, he felt—and a newfound air of confidence and self-reliance. She held her head a bit more firmly, too.

When the story was finished, Miss Burgoyne turned pointedly to Alexander, and the other men drifted away.

When the story was done, Miss Burgoyne turned directly to Alexander, and the other men moved away.

“I thought I saw you in MacConnell’s box with Mainhall one evening, but I supposed you had left town before this.”

“I thought I saw you in MacConnell’s box with Mainhall one evening, but I assumed you had left town by now.”

She looked at him frankly and cordially, as if he were indeed merely an old friend whom she was glad to meet again.

She looked at him openly and warmly, as if he were truly just an old friend she was happy to see again.

“No, I’ve been mooning about here.”

“No, I’ve just been lounging around here.”

Hilda laughed gayly. “Mooning! I see you mooning! You must be the busiest man in the world. Time and success have done well by you, you know. You’re handsomer than ever and you’ve gained a grand manner.”

Hilda laughed happily. “I see you looking around! You must be the busiest person in the world. Time and success have really treated you well, you know. You’re more handsome than ever and you’ve developed a great presence.”

Alexander blushed and bowed. “Time and success have been good friends to both of us. Aren’t you tremendously pleased with yourself?”

Alexander blushed and bowed. “Time and success have been great allies for both of us. Aren’t you really pleased with yourself?”

She laughed again and shrugged her shoulders. “Oh, so-so. But I want to hear about you. Several years ago I read such a lot in the papers about the wonderful things you did in Japan, and how the Emperor decorated you. What was it, Commander of the Order of the Rising Sun? That sounds like ‘The Mikado.’ And what about your new bridge—in Canada, isn’t it, and it’s to be the longest one in the world and has some queer name I can’t remember.”

She laughed again and shrugged her shoulders. “Oh, just okay. But I want to hear about you. A few years ago, I read a lot in the papers about the amazing things you did in Japan, and how the Emperor honored you. Was it the Commander of the Order of the Rising Sun? That sounds like ‘The Mikado.’ And what about your new bridge—in Canada, right? It's supposed to be the longest one in the world and has some weird name I can’t remember.”

Bartley shook his head and smiled drolly. “Since when have you been interested in bridges? Or have you learned to be interested in everything? And is that a part of success?”

Bartley shook his head and smiled wryly. “Since when have you been interested in bridges? Or have you just learned to be interested in everything? And is that part of being successful?”

“Why, how absurd! As if I were not always interested!” Hilda exclaimed.

“Why, that's ridiculous! As if I haven't always been interested!” Hilda exclaimed.

“Well, I think we won’t talk about bridges here, at any rate.” Bartley looked down at the toe of her yellow slipper which was tapping the rug impatiently under the hem of her gown. “But I wonder whether you’d think me impertinent if I asked you to let me come to see you sometime and tell you about them?”

“Well, I guess we won’t talk about bridges here, anyway.” Bartley looked down at the toe of her yellow slipper, which was tapping the rug impatiently beneath the hem of her dress. “But I’m curious if you’d think I was being rude if I asked if I could come by and tell you about them sometime?”

“Why should I? Ever so many people come on Sunday afternoons.”

“Why should I? So many people come on Sunday afternoons.”

“I know. Mainhall offered to take me. But you must know that I’ve been in London several times within the last few years, and you might very well think that just now is a rather inopportune time—”

“I know. Mainhall offered to take me. But you should know that I’ve been to London several times in the last few years, and you might think that right now isn’t the best time—”

She cut him short. “Nonsense. One of the pleasantest things about success is that it makes people want to look one up, if that’s what you mean. I’m like every one else—more agreeable to meet when things are going well with me. Don’t you suppose it gives me any pleasure to do something that people like?”

She interrupted him. “That’s ridiculous. One of the best things about success is that it makes people want to reach out, if that’s what you mean. I’m just like everyone else—I’m more fun to be around when things are going well for me. Don’t you think it makes me happy to do something that people enjoy?”

“Does it? Oh, how fine it all is, your coming on like this! But I didn’t want you to think it was because of that I wanted to see you.” He spoke very seriously and looked down at the floor.

“Does it? Oh, this is all so great, you showing up like this! But I didn’t want you to think it was for that reason that I wanted to see you.” He spoke very seriously and looked down at the floor.

Hilda studied him in wide-eyed astonishment for a moment, and then broke into a low, amused laugh. “My dear Mr. Alexander, you have strange delicacies. If you please, that is exactly why you wish to see me. We understand that, do we not?”

Hilda looked at him in wide-eyed surprise for a moment, then burst into a soft, amused laugh. “My dear Mr. Alexander, you have unusual tastes. If you don’t mind, that’s exactly why you want to see me. We both get that, don’t we?”

Bartley looked ruffled and turned the seal ring on his little finger about awkwardly.

Bartley looked disheveled and fidgeted with the seal ring on his little finger.

Hilda leaned back in her chair, watching him indulgently out of her shrewd eyes. “Come, don’t be angry, but don’t try to pose for me, or to be anything but what you are. If you care to come, it’s yourself I’ll be glad to see, and you thinking well of yourself. Don’t try to wear a cloak of humility; it doesn’t become you. Stalk in as you are and don’t make excuses. I’m not accustomed to inquiring into the motives of my guests. That would hardly be safe, even for Lady Walford, in a great house like this.”

Hilda leaned back in her chair, watching him with a knowing look in her eyes. “Come on, don’t be upset, but please don’t try to pretend for me or be anything other than yourself. If you want to come, I want to see the real you and for you to feel good about yourself. Don’t try to put on a humble front; it doesn’t suit you. Just walk in as you are and don’t make any excuses. I’m not used to questioning my guests’ motives. That wouldn’t be safe, even for Lady Walford, in a big house like this.”

“Sunday afternoon, then,” said Alexander, as she rose to join her hostess. “How early may I come?”

“Sunday afternoon, then,” said Alexander as she got up to join her hostess. “What time can I come?”

She gave him her hand and flushed and laughed. He bent over it a little stiffly. She went away on Lady Walford’s arm, and as he stood watching her yellow train glide down the long floor he looked rather sullen. He felt that he had not come out of it very brilliantly.

She offered him her hand, blushing and laughing. He leaned over it a bit awkwardly. She walked away on Lady Walford’s arm, and as he stood there watching her yellow train move gracefully down the long floor, he looked somewhat glum. He felt like he hadn't handled the situation very well.

CHAPTER IV

On Sunday afternoon Alexander remembered Miss Burgoyne’s invitation and called at her apartment. He found it a delightful little place and he met charming people there. Hilda lived alone, attended by a very pretty and competent French servant who answered the door and brought in the tea. Alexander arrived early, and some twenty-odd people dropped in during the course of the afternoon. Hugh MacConnell came with his sister, and stood about, managing his tea-cup awkwardly and watching every one out of his deep-set, faded eyes. He seemed to have made a resolute effort at tidiness of attire, and his sister, a robust, florid woman with a splendid joviality about her, kept eyeing his freshly creased clothes apprehensively. It was not very long, indeed, before his coat hung with a discouraged sag from his gaunt shoulders and his hair and beard were rumpled as if he had been out in a gale. His dry humor went under a cloud of absent-minded kindliness which, Mainhall explained, always overtook him here. He was never so witty or so sharp here as elsewhere, and Alexander thought he behaved as if he were an elderly relative come in to a young girl’s party.

On Sunday afternoon, Alexander remembered Miss Burgoyne’s invitation and stopped by her apartment. He found it to be a lovely little place and met some delightful people there. Hilda lived alone, assisted by a very pretty and capable French servant who answered the door and brought in the tea. Alexander arrived early, and over the course of the afternoon, about twenty people dropped in. Hugh MacConnell came with his sister, standing around awkwardly with his tea cup, watching everyone with his deep-set, faded eyes. He seemed to have made a real effort to look tidy, and his sister, a strong, rosy woman radiating joviality, kept glancing at his freshly pressed clothes with concern. It wasn't long before his coat sagged discouragedly from his thin shoulders and his hair and beard looked messy as if he had been caught in a storm. His dry humor was overshadowed by a cloud of absent-minded kindness that, as Mainhall explained, always took over him here. He was never as witty or sharp here as he was elsewhere, and Alexander thought he acted like an older relative who had come to a young girl’s party.

The editor of a monthly review came with his wife, and Lady Kildare, the Irish philanthropist, brought her young nephew, Robert Owen, who had come up from Oxford, and who was visibly excited and gratified by his first introduction to Miss Burgoyne. Hilda was very nice to him, and he sat on the edge of his chair, flushed with his conversational efforts and moving his chin about nervously over his high collar. Sarah Frost, the novelist, came with her husband, a very genial and placid old scholar who had become slightly deranged upon the subject of the fourth dimension. On other matters he was perfectly rational and he was easy and pleasing in conversation. He looked very much like Agassiz, and his wife, in her old-fashioned black silk dress, overskirted and tight-sleeved, reminded Alexander of the early pictures of Mrs. Browning. Hilda seemed particularly fond of this quaint couple, and Bartley himself was so pleased with their mild and thoughtful converse that he took his leave when they did, and walked with them over to Oxford Street, where they waited for their ‘bus. They asked him to come to see them in Chelsea, and they spoke very tenderly of Hilda. “She’s a dear, unworldly little thing,” said the philosopher absently; “more like the stage people of my young days—folk of simple manners. There aren’t many such left. American tours have spoiled them, I’m afraid. They have all grown very smart. Lamb wouldn’t care a great deal about many of them, I fancy.”

The editor of a monthly magazine came with his wife, and Lady Kildare, the Irish philanthropist, brought her young nephew, Robert Owen, who had come up from Oxford and was clearly excited and pleased by his first meeting with Miss Burgoyne. Hilda was very kind to him, and he sat on the edge of his chair, blushing from his efforts in conversation and nervously moving his chin around over his high collar. Sarah Frost, the novelist, arrived with her husband, a very friendly and calm old scholar who had become a bit obsessed with the idea of the fourth dimension. He was completely rational on other topics and was enjoyable and engaging to talk to. He looked quite a bit like Agassiz, and his wife, in her old-fashioned black silk dress with an overskirt and tight sleeves, reminded Alexander of early pictures of Mrs. Browning. Hilda seemed especially fond of this quirky couple, and Bartley was so taken with their gentle and thoughtful conversation that he left with them and walked over to Oxford Street, where they waited for their bus. They invited him to visit them in Chelsea and spoke very fondly of Hilda. “She’s a sweet, innocent little thing,” said the philosopher absentmindedly; “more like the simple folks from my youth—people with straightforward manners. There aren’t many left like that. American tours have spoiled them, I’m afraid. They've all become very sophisticated. I doubt Lamb would be very fond of many of them, I imagine.”

Alexander went back to Bedford Square a second Sunday afternoon. He had a long talk with MacConnell, but he got no word with Hilda alone, and he left in a discontented state of mind. For the rest of the week he was nervous and unsettled, and kept rushing his work as if he were preparing for immediate departure. On Thursday afternoon he cut short a committee meeting, jumped into a hansom, and drove to Bedford Square. He sent up his card, but it came back to him with a message scribbled across the front.

Alexander returned to Bedford Square on a second Sunday afternoon. He had a lengthy conversation with MacConnell, but he didn’t get to speak with Hilda alone, and he left feeling dissatisfied. For the rest of the week, he was anxious and restless, rushing through his work as if he were getting ready to leave at a moment’s notice. On Thursday afternoon, he abruptly ended a committee meeting, jumped into a cab, and drove to Bedford Square. He sent up his card, but it was returned to him with a note scribbled across the front.

So sorry I can’t see you. Will you come and dine with me Sunday evening at half-past seven?

So sorry I can’t see you. Will you come and have dinner with me Sunday evening at 7:30?

H.B.

H.B.

When Bartley arrived at Bedford Square on Sunday evening, Marie, the pretty little French girl, met him at the door and conducted him upstairs. Hilda was writing in her living-room, under the light of a tall desk lamp. Bartley recognized the primrose satin gown she had worn that first evening at Lady Walford’s.

When Bartley got to Bedford Square on Sunday evening, Marie, the attractive little French girl, greeted him at the door and showed him upstairs. Hilda was writing in her living room, illuminated by a tall desk lamp. Bartley recognized the primrose satin dress she had worn that first night at Lady Walford’s.

“I’m so pleased that you think me worth that yellow dress, you know,” he said, taking her hand and looking her over admiringly from the toes of her canary slippers to her smoothly parted brown hair. “Yes, it’s very, very pretty. Every one at Lady Walford’s was looking at it.”

“I’m really glad you think I’m worth that yellow dress, you know,” he said, taking her hand and admiring her from the tips of her canary slippers to her neatly parted brown hair. “Yes, it’s super pretty. Everyone at Lady Walford’s was looking at it.”

Hilda curtsied. “Is that why you think it pretty? I’ve no need for fine clothes in Mac’s play this time, so I can afford a few duddies for myself. It’s owing to that same chance, by the way, that I am able to ask you to dinner. I don’t need Marie to dress me this season, so she keeps house for me, and my little Galway girl has gone home for a visit. I should never have asked you if Molly had been here, for I remember you don’t like English cookery.”

Hilda curtsied. “Is that why you think it’s pretty? I don’t need fancy clothes for Mac’s play this time, so I can spare a few things for myself. Because of that same luck, by the way, I’m able to invite you to dinner. I don’t need Marie to dress me this season, so she’s taking care of the house for me, and my little Galway girl has gone home for a visit. I would never have asked you if Molly had been here because I remember you don’t like English cooking.”

Alexander walked about the room, looking at everything.

Alexander walked around the room, checking out everything.

“I haven’t had a chance yet to tell you what a jolly little place I think this is. Where did you get those etchings? They’re quite unusual, aren’t they?”

“I haven’t had a chance yet to tell you what a lovely little place I think this is. Where did you get those etchings? They’re pretty unusual, aren’t they?”

“Lady Westmere sent them to me from Rome last Christmas. She is very much interested in the American artist who did them. They are all sketches made about the Villa d’Este, you see. He painted that group of cypresses for the Salon, and it was bought for the Luxembourg.”

“Lady Westmere sent these to me from Rome last Christmas. She is really interested in the American artist who made them. They are all sketches of the Villa d’Este, you see. He painted that group of cypress trees for the Salon, and it was bought for the Luxembourg.”

Alexander walked over to the bookcases. “It’s the air of the whole place here that I like. You haven’t got anything that doesn’t belong. Seems to me it looks particularly well to-night. And you have so many flowers. I like these little yellow irises.”

Alexander walked over to the bookshelves. “I really like the vibe of this place. Everything fits perfectly. It seems especially nice tonight. And you have so many flowers. I love these little yellow irises.”

“Rooms always look better by lamplight—in London, at least. Though Marie is clean—really clean, as the French are. Why do you look at the flowers so critically? Marie got them all fresh in Covent Garden market yesterday morning.”

“Rooms always look better by lamplight—in London, at least. Although Marie is clean—really clean, like the French are. Why do you look at the flowers so critically? Marie bought them all fresh at Covent Garden market yesterday morning.”

“I’m glad,” said Alexander simply. “I can’t tell you how glad I am to have you so pretty and comfortable here, and to hear every one saying such nice things about you. You’ve got awfully nice friends,” he added humbly, picking up a little jade elephant from her desk. “Those fellows are all very loyal, even Mainhall. They don’t talk of any one else as they do of you.”

“I’m really glad,” Alexander said simply. “I can’t express how happy I am to have you looking so beautiful and at ease here, and to hear everyone saying such nice things about you. You have some really great friends,” he added modestly, picking up a small jade elephant from her desk. “Those guys are all super loyal, even Mainhall. They don’t talk about anyone else the way they talk about you.”

Hilda sat down on the couch and said seriously: “I’ve a neat little sum in the bank, too, now, and I own a mite of a hut in Galway. It’s not worth much, but I love it. I’ve managed to save something every year, and that with helping my three sisters now and then, and tiding poor Cousin Mike over bad seasons. He’s that gifted, you know, but he will drink and loses more good engagements than other fellows ever get. And I’ve traveled a bit, too.”

Hilda sat down on the couch and said seriously, “I have a decent amount saved in the bank now, and I own a small hut in Galway. It’s not worth much, but I love it. I’ve managed to save a bit every year while also helping my three sisters from time to time and getting poor Cousin Mike through tough seasons. He’s really talented, you know, but he drinks too much and loses more good opportunities than other guys ever get. And I’ve traveled a little, too.”

Marie opened the door and smilingly announced that dinner was served.

Marie opened the door and cheerfully announced that dinner was ready.

“My dining-room,” Hilda explained, as she led the way, “is the tiniest place you have ever seen.”

“My dining room,” Hilda explained as she led the way, “is the smallest space you’ve ever seen.”

It was a tiny room, hung all round with French prints, above which ran a shelf full of china. Hilda saw Alexander look up at it.

It was a small room, decorated all around with French prints, and a shelf full of china ran above it. Hilda noticed Alexander looking up at it.

“It’s not particularly rare,” she said, “but some of it was my mother’s. Heaven knows how she managed to keep it whole, through all our wanderings, or in what baskets and bundles and theatre trunks it hasn’t been stowed away. We always had our tea out of those blue cups when I was a little girl, sometimes in the queerest lodgings, and sometimes on a trunk at the theatre—queer theatres, for that matter.”

“It’s not that uncommon,” she said, “but some of it was my mom’s. I have no idea how she managed to keep it in one piece through all our travels, or in what baskets and bundles and theater trunks it hasn’t been stored away. We always had our tea in those blue cups when I was a little girl, sometimes in the strangest places we stayed, and sometimes on a trunk at the theater—strange theaters, to be honest.”

It was a wonderful little dinner. There was watercress soup, and sole, and a delightful omelette stuffed with mushrooms and truffles, and two small rare ducklings, and artichokes, and a dry yellow Rhone wine of which Bartley had always been very fond. He drank it appreciatively and remarked that there was still no other he liked so well.

It was a lovely little dinner. There was watercress soup, sole, and a delightful omelette filled with mushrooms and truffles, along with two small rare ducklings, artichokes, and a dry yellow Rhône wine that Bartley had always enjoyed. He drank it with appreciation and noted that there was still none he liked better.

“I have some champagne for you, too. I don’t drink it myself, but I like to see it behave when it’s poured. There is nothing else that looks so jolly.”

“I have some champagne for you, too. I don’t drink it myself, but I love to watch it bubble when it’s poured. There’s nothing else that looks so cheerful.”

“Thank you. But I don’t like it so well as this.” Bartley held the yellow wine against the light and squinted into it as he turned the glass slowly about. “You have traveled, you say. Have you been in Paris much these late years?”

“Thank you. But I don’t like it as much as this.” Bartley held the yellow wine up to the light and squinted at it as he slowly turned the glass. “You’ve traveled, you say. Have you spent much time in Paris in recent years?”

Hilda lowered one of the candle-shades carefully. “Oh, yes, I go over to Paris often. There are few changes in the old Quarter. Dear old Madame Anger is dead—but perhaps you don’t remember her?”

Hilda carefully lowered one of the candle shades. “Oh, yes, I go to Paris often. There aren't many changes in the old Quarter. Dear old Madame Anger has passed away—but maybe you don't remember her?”

“Don’t I, though! I’m so sorry to hear it. How did her son turn out? I remember how she saved and scraped for him, and how he always lay abed till ten o’clock. He was the laziest fellow at the Beaux Arts; and that’s saying a good deal.”

“Don’t I, though! I’m really sorry to hear that. How did her son turn out? I remember how hard she worked and saved for him, and how he always slept in until ten o’clock. He was the laziest guy at the Beaux Arts; and that’s saying a lot.”

“Well, he is still clever and lazy. They say he is a good architect when he will work. He’s a big, handsome creature, and he hates Americans as much as ever. But Angel—do you remember Angel?”

“Well, he’s still smart and lazy. They say he’s a good architect when he actually puts in the effort. He’s a tall, handsome guy, and he still hates Americans just as much. But Angel—do you remember Angel?”

“Perfectly. Did she ever get back to Brittany and her bains de mer?

“Perfectly. Did she ever get back to Brittany and her seaside baths?

“Ah, no. Poor Angel! She got tired of cooking and scouring the coppers in Madame Anger’s little kitchen, so she ran away with a soldier, and then with another soldier. Too bad! She still lives about the Quarter, and, though there is always a soldat, she has become a blanchisseuse de fin. She did my blouses beautifully the last time I was there, and was so delighted to see me again. I gave her all my old clothes, even my old hats, though she always wears her Breton headdress. Her hair is still like flax, and her blue eyes are just like a baby’s, and she has the same three freckles on her little nose, and talks about going back to her bains de mer.”

“Ah, no. Poor Angel! She got tired of cooking and scrubbing the pots in Madame Anger’s little kitchen, so she ran away with a soldier, and then with another soldier. What a shame! She still hangs around the neighborhood, and even though she often has a soldat, she’s become a blanchisseuse de fin. She did my blouses beautifully the last time I was there and was so happy to see me again. I gave her all my old clothes, even my old hats, even though she always wears her Breton headdress. Her hair is still like flax, her blue eyes are just like a baby’s, and she has the same three freckles on her little nose, and she talks about going back to her bains de mer.”

Bartley looked at Hilda across the yellow light of the candles and broke into a low, happy laugh. “How jolly it was being young, Hilda! Do you remember that first walk we took together in Paris? We walked down to the Place Saint-Michel to buy some lilacs. Do you remember how sweet they smelled?”

Bartley looked at Hilda across the warm glow of the candles and burst into a soft, happy laugh. “Wasn’t it fun being young, Hilda? Do you remember that first walk we took together in Paris? We strolled down to the Place Saint-Michel to buy some lilacs. Do you remember how lovely they smelled?”

“Indeed I do. Come, we’ll have our coffee in the other room, and you can smoke.”

“Definitely! Come on, let’s have our coffee in the other room, and you can smoke.”

Hilda rose quickly, as if she wished to change the drift of their talk, but Bartley found it pleasant to continue it.

Hilda got up quickly, as if she wanted to shift the direction of their conversation, but Bartley enjoyed keeping it going.

“What a warm, soft spring evening that was,” he went on, as they sat down in the study with the coffee on a little table between them; “and the sky, over the bridges, was just the color of the lilacs. We walked on down by the river, didn’t we?”

“What a warm, cozy spring evening that was,” he continued, as they settled into the study with coffee on a small table between them; “and the sky over the bridges was just the color of lilacs. We walked along the river, didn’t we?”

Hilda laughed and looked at him questioningly. He saw a gleam in her eyes that he remembered even better than the episode he was recalling.

Hilda laughed and looked at him with curiosity. He noticed a sparkle in her eyes that he remembered even more clearly than the moment he was thinking about.

“I think we did,” she answered demurely. “It was on the Quai we met that woman who was crying so bitterly. I gave her a spray of lilac, I remember, and you gave her a franc. I was frightened at your prodigality.”

“I think we did,” she replied softly. “It was on the Quai where we met that woman who was crying so hard. I remember giving her a sprig of lilac, and you gave her a franc. I was shocked by your extravagance.”

“I expect it was the last franc I had. What a strong brown face she had, and very tragic. She looked at us with such despair and longing, out from under her black shawl. What she wanted from us was neither our flowers nor our francs, but just our youth. I remember it touched me so. I would have given her some of mine off my back, if I could. I had enough and to spare then,” Bartley mused, and looked thoughtfully at his cigar.

“I guess it was the last franc I had. She had such a strong brown face, and it was pretty tragic. She looked at us with so much despair and longing from under her black shawl. What she wanted from us wasn’t our flowers or our francs, but just our youth. I remember it affected me deeply. I would have given her some of mine if I could. I had plenty to spare back then,” Bartley reflected, looking thoughtfully at his cigar.

They were both remembering what the woman had said when she took the money: “God give you a happy love!” It was not in the ingratiating tone of the habitual beggar: it had come out of the depths of the poor creature’s sorrow, vibrating with pity for their youth and despair at the terribleness of human life; it had the anguish of a voice of prophecy. Until she spoke, Bartley had not realized that he was in love. The strange woman, and her passionate sentence that rang out so sharply, had frightened them both. They went home sadly with the lilacs, back to the Rue Saint-Jacques, walking very slowly, arm in arm. When they reached the house where Hilda lodged, Bartley went across the court with her, and up the dark old stairs to the third landing; and there he had kissed her for the first time. He had shut his eyes to give him the courage, he remembered, and she had trembled so—

They both recalled what the woman had said when she took the money: “May God grant you a happy love!” It wasn’t in the charming tone of a typical beggar; it had come from the depths of the poor woman’s sorrow, filled with pity for their youth and despair at the harshness of life; it carried the weight of a prophetic voice. Until she spoke, Bartley hadn’t realized he was in love. The strange woman and her passionate words, which struck them both so sharply, had scared them. They walked home sadly with the lilacs, back to the Rue Saint-Jacques, moving very slowly, arm in arm. Once they reached the house where Hilda stayed, Bartley walked across the courtyard with her, up the dark old stairs to the third floor; and there he kissed her for the first time. He remembered shutting his eyes to find the courage, and she had trembled so—

Bartley started when Hilda rang the little bell beside her. “Dear me, why did you do that? I had quite forgotten—I was back there. It was very jolly,” he murmured lazily, as Marie came in to take away the coffee.

Bartley jumped when Hilda rang the small bell next to her. “Oh my, why did you do that? I totally forgot—I was back there. It was really fun,” he said lazily as Marie came in to clear away the coffee.

Hilda laughed and went over to the piano. “Well, we are neither of us twenty now, you know. Have I told you about my new play? Mac is writing one; really for me this time. You see, I’m coming on.”

Hilda laughed and walked over to the piano. “Well, neither of us is twenty anymore, you know. Have I told you about my new play? Mac is writing one; it’s really for me this time. You see, I’m making progress.”

“I’ve seen nothing else. What kind of a part is it? Shall you wear yellow gowns? I hope so.”

“I haven't seen anything else. What kind of role is it? Will you wear yellow gowns? I hope so.”

He was looking at her round slender figure, as she stood by the piano, turning over a pile of music, and he felt the energy in every line of it.

He was looking at her slim, curvy figure as she stood by the piano, going through a stack of music, and he felt the energy in every line of it.

“No, it isn’t a dress-up part. He doesn’t seem to fancy me in fine feathers. He says I ought to be minding the pigs at home, and I suppose I ought. But he’s given me some good Irish songs. Listen.”

“No, it’s not a dress-up role. He doesn’t seem to like me in fancy clothes. He says I should be taking care of the pigs at home, and I guess I should. But he’s shared some great Irish songs with me. Listen.”

She sat down at the piano and sang. When she finished, Alexander shook himself out of a reverie.

She sat at the piano and started singing. When she was done, Alexander snapped out of a daydream.

“Sing ‘The Harp That Once,’ Hilda. You used to sing it so well.”

“Sing ‘The Harp That Once,’ Hilda. You used to sing it so well.”

“Nonsense. Of course I can’t really sing, except the way my mother and grandmother did before me. Most actresses nowadays learn to sing properly, so I tried a master; but he confused me, just!”

“Nonsense. Of course I can't really sing, except the way my mother and grandmother did before me. Most actresses these days learn to sing properly, so I tried a teacher; but he just confused me!”

Alexander laughed. “All the same, sing it, Hilda.”

Alexander laughed. “Still, go ahead and sing it, Hilda.”

Hilda started up from the stool and moved restlessly toward the window. “It’s really too warm in this room to sing. Don’t you feel it?”

Hilda jumped up from the stool and paced anxiously toward the window. “It’s just too hot in this room to sing. Don’t you think?”

Alexander went over and opened the window for her. “Aren’t you afraid to let the wind low like that on your neck? Can’t I get a scarf or something?”

Alexander went over and opened the window for her. “Aren’t you worried about the wind blowing on your neck like that? Can I get you a scarf or something?”

“Ask a theatre lady if she’s afraid of drafts!” Hilda laughed. “But perhaps, as I’m so warm—give me your handkerchief. There, just in front.” He slipped the corners carefully under her shoulder-straps. “There, that will do. It looks like a bib.” She pushed his hand away quickly and stood looking out into the deserted square. “Isn’t London a tomb on Sunday night?”

“Ask a theater woman if she’s scared of drafts!” Hilda laughed. “But since I’m so warm—give me your handkerchief. There, right in front.” He carefully tucked the corners under her shoulder straps. “There, that works. It looks like a bib.” She quickly pushed his hand away and stood gazing out into the empty square. “Isn’t London a graveyard on Sunday night?”

Alexander caught the agitation in her voice. He stood a little behind her, and tried to steady himself as he said: “It’s soft and misty. See how white the stars are.”

Alexander noticed the tension in her voice. He stood just behind her, trying to steady himself as he said, “It’s soft and foggy. Look how bright the stars are.”

For a long time neither Hilda nor Bartley spoke. They stood close together, looking out into the wan, watery sky, breathing always more quickly and lightly, and it seemed as if all the clocks in the world had stopped. Suddenly he moved the clenched hand he held behind him and dropped it violently at his side. He felt a tremor run through the slender yellow figure in front of him.

For a long time, neither Hilda nor Bartley said anything. They stood close together, staring into the dull, overcast sky, breathing faster and more lightly, and it felt like all the clocks in the world had frozen. Suddenly, he moved the clenched hand he had behind him and dropped it forcefully at his side. He sensed a shiver run through the slim yellow figure in front of him.

She caught his handkerchief from her throat and thrust it at him without turning round. “Here, take it. You must go now, Bartley. Good-night.”

She grabbed the handkerchief from her throat and pushed it at him without looking back. “Here, take it. You need to go now, Bartley. Good night.”

Bartley leaned over her shoulder, without touching her, and whispered in her ear: “You are giving me a chance?”

Bartley leaned over her shoulder, without touching her, and whispered in her ear, “Are you giving me a chance?”

“Yes. Take it and go. This isn’t fair, you know. Good-night.”

“Yes. Take it and leave. This isn’t right, you know. Good night.”

Alexander unclenched the two hands at his sides. With one he threw down the window and with the other—still standing behind her—he drew her back against him.

Alexander relaxed his hands at his sides. With one hand, he slammed the window shut, and with the other—still standing behind her—he pulled her back against him.

She uttered a little cry, threw her arms over her head, and drew his face down to hers. “Are you going to let me love you a little, Bartley?” she whispered.

She let out a small gasp, threw her arms over her head, and pulled his face down to hers. “Are you going to let me love you a bit, Bartley?” she whispered.

CHAPTER V

It was the afternoon of the day before Christmas. Mrs. Alexander had been driving about all the morning, leaving presents at the houses of her friends. She lunched alone, and as she rose from the table she spoke to the butler: “Thomas, I am going down to the kitchen now to see Norah. In half an hour you are to bring the greens up from the cellar and put them in the library. Mr. Alexander will be home at three to hang them himself. Don’t forget the stepladder, and plenty of tacks and string. You may bring the azaleas upstairs. Take the white one to Mr. Alexander’s study. Put the two pink ones in this room, and the red one in the drawing-room.”

It was the afternoon of the day before Christmas. Mrs. Alexander had been out all morning, dropping off presents at her friends' houses. She had lunch by herself, and as she got up from the table, she addressed the butler: “Thomas, I'm going down to the kitchen now to check on Norah. In half an hour, you need to bring up the greens from the cellar and put them in the library. Mr. Alexander will be back at three to hang them himself. Don’t forget the stepladder, and make sure you have plenty of tacks and string. You can bring the azaleas upstairs. Take the white one to Mr. Alexander’s study. Put the two pink ones in this room, and the red one in the drawing-room.”

A little before three o’clock Mrs. Alexander went into the library to see that everything was ready. She pulled the window shades high, for the weather was dark and stormy, and there was little light, even in the streets. A foot of snow had fallen during the morning, and the wide space over the river was thick with flying flakes that fell and wreathed the masses of floating ice. Winifred was standing by the window when she heard the front door open. She hurried to the hall as Alexander came stamping in, covered with snow. He kissed her joyfully and brushed away the snow that fell on her hair.

A little before three o’clock, Mrs. Alexander went into the library to check that everything was ready. She pulled up the window shades because the weather was dark and stormy, and there wasn’t much light, even out in the streets. A foot of snow had fallen during the morning, and the wide space over the river was filled with swirling flakes that fell and wrapped around the chunks of floating ice. Winifred was standing by the window when she heard the front door open. She rushed to the hall as Alexander came stomping in, covered in snow. He kissed her happily and brushed the snow off her hair.

“I wish I had asked you to meet me at the office and walk home with me, Winifred. The Common is beautiful. The boys have swept the snow off the pond and are skating furiously. Did the cyclamens come?”

“I wish I had asked you to meet me at the office and walk home with me, Winifred. The Common is gorgeous. The guys have cleared the snow off the pond and are skating like crazy. Did the cyclamens arrive?”

“An hour ago. What splendid ones! But aren’t you frightfully extravagant?”

“An hour ago. How amazing! But aren't you being a bit too extravagant?”

“Not for Christmas-time. I’ll go upstairs and change my coat. I shall be down in a moment. Tell Thomas to get everything ready.”

“Not right now; it’s not Christmas time. I’ll go upstairs and change my coat. I’ll be down in a minute. Tell Thomas to get everything ready.”

When Alexander reappeared, he took his wife’s arm and went with her into the library. “When did the azaleas get here? Thomas has got the white one in my room.”

When Alexander came back, he took his wife’s arm and walked with her into the library. “When did the azaleas arrive? Thomas has got the white one in my room.”

“I told him to put it there.”

“I told him to put it there.”

“But, I say, it’s much the finest of the lot!”

“But I say, it’s definitely the best of the bunch!”

“That’s why I had it put there. There is too much color in that room for a red one, you know.”

“That’s why I had it placed there. There’s too much color in that room for a red one, you know.”

Bartley began to sort the greens. “It looks very splendid there, but I feel piggish to have it. However, we really spend more time there than anywhere else in the house. Will you hand me the holly?”

Bartley started sorting the greens. “It looks really great there, but I feel greedy to have it. Still, we actually spend more time there than anywhere else in the house. Can you pass me the holly?”

He climbed up the stepladder, which creaked under his weight, and began to twist the tough stems of the holly into the frame-work of the chandelier.

He climbed up the stepladder, which groaned under his weight, and started twisting the tough stems of the holly into the framework of the chandelier.

“I forgot to tell you that I had a letter from Wilson, this morning, explaining his telegram. He is coming on because an old uncle up in Vermont has conveniently died and left Wilson a little money—something like ten thousand. He’s coming on to settle up the estate. Won’t it be jolly to have him?”

“I forgot to mention that I received a letter from Wilson this morning explaining his telegram. He’s coming because an old uncle in Vermont conveniently passed away and left Wilson some money—around ten thousand. He’s coming to settle the estate. Won’t it be great to have him?”

“And how fine that he’s come into a little money. I can see him posting down State Street to the steamship offices. He will get a good many trips out of that ten thousand. What can have detained him? I expected him here for luncheon.”

“And how great that he’s come into some money. I can picture him racing down State Street to the steamship offices. He’ll get a lot of trips from that ten thousand. What could be keeping him? I thought he’d be here for lunch.”

“Those trains from Albany are always late. He’ll be along sometime this afternoon. And now, don’t you want to go upstairs and lie down for an hour? You’ve had a busy morning and I don’t want you to be tired to-night.”

“Those trains from Albany are always late. He’ll be here sometime this afternoon. So, don’t you want to go upstairs and take a nap for an hour? You’ve had a busy morning, and I don’t want you to be tired tonight.”

After his wife went upstairs Alexander worked energetically at the greens for a few moments. Then, as he was cutting off a length of string, he sighed suddenly and sat down, staring out of the window at the snow. The animation died out of his face, but in his eyes there was a restless light, a look of apprehension and suspense. He kept clasping and unclasping his big hands as if he were trying to realize something. The clock ticked through the minutes of a half-hour and the afternoon outside began to thicken and darken turbidly. Alexander, since he first sat down, had not changed his position. He leaned forward, his hands between his knees, scarcely breathing, as if he were holding himself away from his surroundings, from the room, and from the very chair in which he sat, from everything except the wild eddies of snow above the river on which his eyes were fixed with feverish intentness, as if he were trying to project himself thither. When at last Lucius Wilson was announced, Alexander sprang eagerly to his feet and hurried to meet his old instructor.

After his wife went upstairs, Alexander worked busily on the greens for a few minutes. Then, as he was cutting a piece of string, he suddenly sighed and sat down, staring out of the window at the snow. The energy faded from his face, but his eyes had a restless glint, filled with worry and anticipation. He kept clasping and unclasping his large hands, as if trying to understand something. The clock ticked away the minutes of a half-hour, and the afternoon outside began to grow thick and dark. Since he first sat down, Alexander had not moved. He leaned forward, his hands between his knees, barely breathing, as if he were distancing himself from everything around him—the room, the chair, and all, except for the swirling snow above the river, which he watched intently, as if trying to connect with it. When Lucius Wilson was finally announced, Alexander jumped up eagerly and rushed to greet his old teacher.

“Hello, Wilson. What luck! Come into the library. We are to have a lot of people to dinner to-night, and Winifred’s lying down. You will excuse her, won’t you? And now what about yourself? Sit down and tell me everything.”

“Hey, Wilson. What a coincidence! Come into the library. We’re having quite a few people over for dinner tonight, and Winifred’s resting. You don’t mind, do you? So, how about you? Have a seat and share everything.”

“I think I’d rather move about, if you don’t mind. I’ve been sitting in the train for a week, it seems to me.” Wilson stood before the fire with his hands behind him and looked about the room. “You have been busy. Bartley, if I’d had my choice of all possible places in which to spend Christmas, your house would certainly be the place I’d have chosen. Happy people do a great deal for their friends. A house like this throws its warmth out. I felt it distinctly as I was coming through the Berkshires. I could scarcely believe that I was to see Mrs. Bartley again so soon.”

“I think I’d rather move around, if that’s okay with you. I feel like I’ve been sitting on the train for a week.” Wilson stood by the fire with his hands behind his back and looked around the room. “You’ve been busy. Bartley, if I could pick any place to spend Christmas, your house would definitely be my top choice. Happy people really do a lot for their friends. A home like this radiates warmth. I felt it clearly while I was passing through the Berkshires. I could hardly believe I was going to see Mrs. Bartley again so soon.”

“Thank you, Wilson. She’ll be as glad to see you. Shall we have tea now? I’ll ring for Thomas to clear away this litter. Winifred says I always wreck the house when I try to do anything. Do you know, I am quite tired. Looks as if I were not used to work, doesn’t it?” Alexander laughed and dropped into a chair. “You know, I’m sailing the day after New Year’s.”

“Thanks, Wilson. She’ll be really happy to see you. Should we have tea now? I’ll call Thomas to clear away this mess. Winifred says I always make a mess of the house when I try to do anything. You know, I’m actually pretty tired. It looks like I’m not used to working, doesn’t it?” Alexander laughed and sat down in a chair. “You know, I’m leaving to sail the day after New Year’s.”

“Again? Why, you’ve been over twice since I was here in the spring, haven’t you?”

“Again? You've come over twice since I was here in the spring, right?”

“Oh, I was in London about ten days in the summer. Went to escape the hot weather more than anything else. I shan’t be gone more than a month this time. Winifred and I have been up in Canada for most of the autumn. That Moorlock Bridge is on my back all the time. I never had so much trouble with a job before.” Alexander moved about restlessly and fell to poking the fire.

“Oh, I was in London for about ten days in the summer. I went mostly to escape the heat. I won’t be gone for more than a month this time. Winifred and I have spent most of the autumn in Canada. That Moorlock Bridge project is weighing on me all the time. I’ve never had this much trouble with a job before.” Alexander moved around restlessly and began to poke the fire.

“Haven’t I seen in the papers that there is some trouble about a tidewater bridge of yours in New Jersey?”

“Haven’t I read in the news that there’s some issue with one of your tidewater bridges in New Jersey?”

“Oh, that doesn’t amount to anything. It’s held up by a steel strike. A bother, of course, but the sort of thing one is always having to put up with. But the Moorlock Bridge is a continual anxiety. You see, the truth is, we are having to build pretty well to the strain limit up there. They’ve crowded me too much on the cost. It’s all very well if everything goes well, but these estimates have never been used for anything of such length before. However, there’s nothing to be done. They hold me to the scale I’ve used in shorter bridges. The last thing a bridge commission cares about is the kind of bridge you build.”

“Oh, that doesn’t mean anything. It’s stuck because of a steel strike. Annoying, of course, but it’s the kind of thing we always have to deal with. But the Moorlock Bridge is a constant source of stress. You see, the truth is, we’re building pretty much at the strain limit up there. They’ve squeezed me too much on the cost. It’s fine if everything goes smoothly, but these estimates have never been used for anything that long before. Anyway, there’s nothing I can do. They’re holding me to the standards I’ve used for shorter bridges. The last thing a bridge commission cares about is the type of bridge you build.”

When Bartley had finished dressing for dinner he went into his study, where he found his wife arranging flowers on his writing-table.

When Bartley finished getting ready for dinner, he went into his study, where he found his wife arranging flowers on his desk.

“These pink roses just came from Mrs. Hastings,” she said, smiling, “and I am sure she meant them for you.”

“These pink roses just arrived from Mrs. Hastings,” she said, smiling, “and I’m sure she intended them for you.”

Bartley looked about with an air of satisfaction at the greens and the wreaths in the windows. “Have you a moment, Winifred? I have just now been thinking that this is our twelfth Christmas. Can you realize it?” He went up to the table and took her hands away from the flowers, drying them with his pocket handkerchief. “They’ve been awfully happy ones, all of them, haven’t they?” He took her in his arms and bent back, lifting her a little and giving her a long kiss. “You are happy, aren’t you Winifred? More than anything else in the world, I want you to be happy. Sometimes, of late, I’ve thought you looked as if you were troubled.”

Bartley looked around with satisfaction at the greenery and the wreaths in the windows. “Do you have a moment, Winifred? I was just thinking that this is our twelfth Christmas. Can you believe it?” He approached the table and gently took her hands away from the flowers, drying them with his pocket handkerchief. “They’ve all been really happy ones, haven’t they?” He pulled her into his arms, leaned back slightly, lifted her a little, and gave her a long kiss. “You’re happy, right, Winifred? More than anything else in the world, I want you to be happy. Lately, I’ve noticed you seem a bit troubled.”

“No; it’s only when you are troubled and harassed that I feel worried, Bartley. I wish you always seemed as you do to-night. But you don’t, always.” She looked earnestly and inquiringly into his eyes.

“No; it’s only when you’re upset and stressed that I feel worried, Bartley. I wish you always looked like you do tonight. But you don’t, all the time.” She looked earnestly and curiously into his eyes.

Alexander took her two hands from his shoulders and swung them back and forth in his own, laughing his big blond laugh.

Alexander took her hands off his shoulders and swung them back and forth in his own, laughing his hearty blond laugh.

“I’m growing older, my dear; that’s what you feel. Now, may I show you something? I meant to save them until to-morrow, but I want you to wear them to-night.” He took a little leather box out of his pocket and opened it. On the white velvet lay two long pendants of curiously worked gold, set with pearls. Winifred looked from the box to Bartley and exclaimed:—

“I’m getting older, my dear; that’s what you sense. Now, can I show you something? I intended to save these for tomorrow, but I want you to wear them tonight.” He took a small leather box out of his pocket and opened it. On the white velvet inside lay two long pendants of intricately designed gold, set with pearls. Winifred stared from the box to Bartley and exclaimed:—

“Where did you ever find such gold work, Bartley?”

“Where did you even find such amazing gold work, Bartley?”

“It’s old Flemish. Isn’t it fine?”

“It’s old Flemish. Isn’t it great?”

“They are the most beautiful things, dear. But, you know, I never wear earrings.”

“They're the most beautiful things, dear. But, you know, I never wear earrings.”

“Yes, yes, I know. But I want you to wear them. I have always wanted you to. So few women can. There must be a good ear, to begin with, and a nose”—he waved his hand—“above reproach. Most women look silly in them. They go only with faces like yours—very, very proud, and just a little hard.”

“Yes, yes, I get it. But I want you to wear them. I've always wanted you to. So few women can. You need to have a good ear, to start with, and a nose”—he waved his hand—“that's above reproach. Most women look ridiculous in them. They only suit faces like yours—very, very proud, and just a bit tough.”

Winifred laughed as she went over to the mirror and fitted the delicate springs to the lobes of her ears. “Oh, Bartley, that old foolishness about my being hard. It really hurts my feelings. But I must go down now. People are beginning to come.”

Winifred laughed as she walked over to the mirror and attached the delicate springs to her earlobes. “Oh, Bartley, that silly idea that I’m harsh. It honestly hurts my feelings. But I have to head downstairs now. People are starting to arrive.”

Bartley drew her arm about his neck and went to the door with her. “Not hard to me, Winifred,” he whispered. “Never, never hard to me.”

Bartley wrapped her arm around his neck and walked to the door with her. “Not hard for me, Winifred,” he whispered. “Never, never hard for me.”

Left alone, he paced up and down his study. He was at home again, among all the dear familiar things that spoke to him of so many happy years. His house to-night would be full of charming people, who liked and admired him. Yet all the time, underneath his pleasure and hopefulness and satisfaction, he was conscious of the vibration of an unnatural excitement. Amid this light and warmth and friendliness, he sometimes started and shuddered, as if some one had stepped on his grave. Something had broken loose in him of which he knew nothing except that it was sullen and powerful, and that it wrung and tortured him. Sometimes it came upon him softly, in enervating reveries. Sometimes it battered him like the cannon rolling in the hold of the vessel. Always, now, it brought with it a sense of quickened life, of stimulating danger. To-night it came upon him suddenly, as he was walking the floor, after his wife left him. It seemed impossible; he could not believe it. He glanced entreatingly at the door, as if to call her back. He heard voices in the hall below, and knew that he must go down. Going over to the window, he looked out at the lights across the river. How could this happen here, in his own house, among the things he loved? What was it that reached in out of the darkness and thrilled him? As he stood there he had a feeling that he would never escape. He shut his eyes and pressed his forehead against the cold window glass, breathing in the chill that came through it. “That this,” he groaned, “that this should have happened to me!

Left alone, he paced back and forth in his study. He was home again, surrounded by all the familiar things that reminded him of so many happy years. His house tonight would be filled with charming people who liked and admired him. Yet, beneath his pleasure and hopefulness and satisfaction, he felt an unsettling excitement. Amid this light and warmth and friendliness, he sometimes jumped and shuddered, as if someone had stepped on his grave. Something had broken loose inside him that he didn’t understand, except that it was dark and strong, and it twisted and tormented him. Sometimes it would creep up on him during weak reveries. Other times, it hit him like cannon fire rolling in a ship's hold. Always, it brought a sense of heightened life, of thrilling danger. Tonight, it hit him suddenly as he was pacing after his wife left him. It felt impossible; he couldn’t believe it. He looked longingly at the door, as if to call her back. He heard voices in the hallway below and knew he had to go down. Moving to the window, he gazed at the lights across the river. How could this happen here, in his own house, among the things he treasured? What was it that reached out from the darkness and sent a shiver through him? As he stood there, he felt like he would never escape. He shut his eyes and pressed his forehead against the cold window glass, inhaling the chill that seeped through it. “That this,” he groaned, “that this should have happened to me!

On New Year’s day a thaw set in, and during the night torrents of rain fell. In the morning, the morning of Alexander’s departure for England, the river was streaked with fog and the rain drove hard against the windows of the breakfast-room. Alexander had finished his coffee and was pacing up and down. His wife sat at the table, watching him. She was pale and unnaturally calm. When Thomas brought the letters, Bartley sank into his chair and ran them over rapidly.

On New Year’s Day, a thaw began, and during the night, heavy rain poured down. In the morning, the morning of Alexander’s departure for England, the river was covered in fog, and the rain hit hard against the breakfast-room windows. Alexander had finished his coffee and was walking back and forth. His wife sat at the table, watching him. She looked pale and unusually calm. When Thomas brought the letters, Bartley dropped into his chair and quickly skimmed through them.

“Here’s a note from old Wilson. He’s safe back at his grind, and says he had a bully time. ‘The memory of Mrs. Bartley will make my whole winter fragrant.’ Just like him. He will go on getting measureless satisfaction out of you by his study fire. What a man he is for looking on at life!” Bartley sighed, pushed the letters back impatiently, and went over to the window. “This is a nasty sort of day to sail. I’ve a notion to call it off. Next week would be time enough.”

“Here’s a note from old Wilson. He’s back to his routine and says he had an amazing time. ‘The memory of Mrs. Bartley will make my whole winter enjoyable.’ That’s just like him. He’ll keep finding endless satisfaction in you by his study fire. What a guy he is for just watching life!” Bartley sighed, pushed the letters back in frustration, and walked over to the window. “This is a terrible day to sail. I’m thinking about canceling. Next week would be plenty of time.”

“That would only mean starting twice. It wouldn’t really help you out at all,” Mrs. Alexander spoke soothingly. “And you’d come back late for all your engagements.”

"That would just mean starting over twice. It wouldn’t really help you at all,” Mrs. Alexander said gently. “And you’d end up late for all your appointments.”

Bartley began jingling some loose coins in his pocket. “I wish things would let me rest. I’m tired of work, tired of people, tired of trailing about.” He looked out at the storm-beaten river.

Bartley started shaking some loose change in his pocket. “I wish everything would just give me a break. I’m exhausted from working, tired of people, tired of wandering around.” He gazed at the rough, stormy river.

Winifred came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. “That’s what you always say, poor Bartley! At bottom you really like all these things. Can’t you remember that?”

Winifred came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. “That’s what you always say, poor Bartley! Deep down, you really like all these things. Can’t you remember that?”

He put his arm about her. “All the same, life runs smoothly enough with some people, and with me it’s always a messy sort of patchwork. It’s like the song; peace is where I am not. How can you face it all with so much fortitude?”

He put his arm around her. “Still, some people seem to have it all together, while my life is always a chaotic jumble. It's like the song; peace is wherever I'm not. How do you handle everything with so much strength?”

She looked at him with that clear gaze which Wilson had so much admired, which he had felt implied such high confidence and fearless pride. “Oh, I faced that long ago, when you were on your first bridge, up at old Allway. I knew then that your paths were not to be paths of peace, but I decided that I wanted to follow them.”

She looked at him with that clear gaze that Wilson had admired so much, feeling it showed such high confidence and fearless pride. “Oh, I dealt with that a long time ago, when you were on your first bridge, up at old Allway. I knew back then that your paths wouldn’t be ones of peace, but I decided that I wanted to follow them.”

Bartley and his wife stood silent for a long time; the fire crackled in the grate, the rain beat insistently upon the windows, and the sleepy Angora looked up at them curiously.

Bartley and his wife stood quietly for a long time; the fire crackled in the fireplace, the rain pounded relentlessly against the windows, and the sleepy Angora cat looked up at them with curiosity.

Presently Thomas made a discreet sound at the door. “Shall Edward bring down your trunks, sir?”

Presently, Thomas quietly spoke at the door. “Should Edward bring your trunks down, sir?”

“Yes; they are ready. Tell him not to forget the big portfolio on the study table.”

“Yes, they’re ready. Tell him not to forget the big portfolio on the study table.”

Thomas withdrew, closing the door softly. Bartley turned away from his wife, still holding her hand. “It never gets any easier, Winifred.”

Thomas stepped back and gently closed the door. Bartley looked away from his wife, still holding her hand. “It never gets easier, Winifred.”

They both started at the sound of the carriage on the pavement outside. Alexander sat down and leaned his head on his hand. His wife bent over him. “Courage,” she said gayly. Bartley rose and rang the bell. Thomas brought him his hat and stick and ulster. At the sight of these, the supercilious Angora moved restlessly, quitted her red cushion by the fire, and came up, waving her tail in vexation at these ominous indications of change. Alexander stooped to stroke her, and then plunged into his coat and drew on his gloves. His wife held his stick, smiling. Bartley smiled too, and his eyes cleared. “I’ll work like the devil, Winifred, and be home again before you realize I’ve gone.” He kissed her quickly several times, hurried out of the front door into the rain, and waved to her from the carriage window as the driver was starting his melancholy, dripping black horses. Alexander sat with his hands clenched on his knees. As the carriage turned up the hill, he lifted one hand and brought it down violently. “This time”—he spoke aloud and through his set teeth—“this time I’m going to end it!”

They both jumped at the sound of the carriage on the pavement outside. Alexander sat down and rested his head on his hand. His wife leaned over him. “Stay strong,” she said cheerfully. Bartley stood up and rang the bell. Thomas brought him his hat, stick, and coat. At the sight of these, the arrogant Angora moved restlessly, left her red cushion by the fire, and came over, flicking her tail in annoyance at the signs of change. Alexander bent down to pet her, then slipped into his coat and put on his gloves. His wife held his stick, smiling. Bartley smiled too, his expression brightening. “I’ll work hard, Winifred, and be home before you even notice I’m gone.” He quickly kissed her several times, rushed out the front door into the rain, and waved to her from the carriage window as the driver started his gloomy, dripping black horses. Alexander sat with his hands clenched on his knees. As the carriage turned up the hill, he raised one hand and slammed it down furiously. “This time”—he spoke aloud through gritted teeth—“this time I’m going to finish it!”

On the afternoon of the third day out, Alexander was sitting well to the stern, on the windward side where the chairs were few, his rugs over him and the collar of his fur-lined coat turned up about his ears. The weather had so far been dark and raw. For two hours he had been watching the low, dirty sky and the beating of the heavy rain upon the iron-colored sea. There was a long, oily swell that made exercise laborious. The decks smelled of damp woolens, and the air was so humid that drops of moisture kept gathering upon his hair and mustache. He seldom moved except to brush them away. The great open spaces made him passive and the restlessness of the water quieted him. He intended during the voyage to decide upon a course of action, but he held all this away from him for the present and lay in a blessed gray oblivion. Deep down in him somewhere his resolution was weakening and strengthening, ebbing and flowing. The thing that perturbed him went on as steadily as his pulse, but he was almost unconscious of it. He was submerged in the vast impersonal grayness about him, and at intervals the sidelong roll of the boat measured off time like the ticking of a clock. He felt released from everything that troubled and perplexed him. It was as if he had tricked and outwitted torturing memories, had actually managed to get on board without them. He thought of nothing at all. If his mind now and again picked a face out of the grayness, it was Lucius Wilson’s, or the face of an old schoolmate, forgotten for years; or it was the slim outline of a favorite greyhound he used to hunt jack-rabbits with when he was a boy.

On the afternoon of the third day out, Alexander was sitting toward the back, on the windward side where the chairs were limited, his rugs over him and the collar of his fur-lined coat turned up around his ears. The weather had been dark and chilly so far. For two hours, he had been watching the low, dreary sky and the heavy rain pounding down on the iron-colored sea. There was a long, oily swell that made movement difficult. The decks smelled of damp wool, and the air was so humid that drops of moisture kept forming in his hair and mustache. He rarely moved except to brush them away. The vast open spaces made him feel passive, and the restless water calmed him. He planned to decide on a course of action during the voyage, but he pushed all of that aside for now and relished a blissful gray oblivion. Deep down, somewhere inside him, his resolve was both weakening and strengthening, ebbing and flowing. The thing that disturbed him continued steadily, like his pulse, but he was almost unaware of it. He was submerged in the vast, impersonal grayness around him, and occasionally the side-to-side roll of the boat marked the passage of time like the ticking of a clock. He felt free from everything that troubled and confused him. It was as if he had outsmarted tormenting memories, managing to board without them. He thought of nothing at all. If his mind occasionally picked a face out of the grayness, it was Lucius Wilson’s, or the face of an old schoolmate he hadn't thought of in years; or it was the slim silhouette of a favorite greyhound he used to hunt jackrabbits with when he was a boy.

Toward six o’clock the wind rose and tugged at the tarpaulin and brought the swell higher. After dinner Alexander came back to the wet deck, piled his damp rugs over him again, and sat smoking, losing himself in the obliterating blackness and drowsing in the rush of the gale. Before he went below a few bright stars were pricked off between heavily moving masses of cloud.

Toward six o'clock, the wind picked up, tugging at the tarpaulin and causing the waves to grow. After dinner, Alexander returned to the wet deck, covered himself with his damp blankets again, and sat smoking, getting lost in the thick darkness and dozing in the rush of the wind. Before he went below, a few bright stars popped out between the heavily shifting clouds.

The next morning was bright and mild, with a fresh breeze. Alexander felt the need of exercise even before he came out of his cabin. When he went on deck the sky was blue and blinding, with heavy whiffs of white cloud, smoke-colored at the edges, moving rapidly across it. The water was roughish, a cold, clear indigo breaking into whitecaps. Bartley walked for two hours, and then stretched himself in the sun until lunch-time.

The next morning was sunny and mild, with a cool breeze. Alexander felt the urge to exercise even before he got out of his cabin. When he went on deck, the sky was bright blue and dazzling, with thick puffs of white clouds, gray at the edges, moving quickly across it. The water was a bit choppy, a cold, clear indigo with whitecaps. Bartley walked for two hours, then laid in the sun until lunch.

In the afternoon he wrote a long letter to Winifred. Later, as he walked the deck through a splendid golden sunset, his spirits rose continually. It was agreeable to come to himself again after several days of numbness and torpor. He stayed out until the last tinge of violet had faded from the water. There was literally a taste of life on his lips as he sat down to dinner and ordered a bottle of champagne. He was late in finishing his dinner, and drank rather more wine than he had meant to. When he went above, the wind had risen and the deck was almost deserted. As he stepped out of the door a gale lifted his heavy fur coat about his shoulders. He fought his way up the deck with keen exhilaration. The moment he stepped, almost out of breath, behind the shelter of the stern, the wind was cut off, and he felt, like a rush of warm air, a sense of close and intimate companionship. He started back and tore his coat open as if something warm were actually clinging to him beneath it. He hurried up the deck and went into the saloon parlor, full of women who had retreated thither from the sharp wind. He threw himself upon them. He talked delightfully to the older ones and played accompaniments for the younger ones until the last sleepy girl had followed her mother below. Then he went into the smoking-room. He played bridge until two o’clock in the morning, and managed to lose a considerable sum of money without really noticing that he was doing so.

In the afternoon, he wrote a long letter to Winifred. Later, as he walked on the deck during a stunning golden sunset, his spirits kept lifting. It felt good to be fully present again after several days of feeling numb and sluggish. He stayed outside until the last hint of violet disappeared from the water. He literally tasted life on his lips as he sat down for dinner and ordered a bottle of champagne. He took longer than expected to finish his meal and ended up drinking more wine than he intended. When he stepped outside, the wind had picked up, and the deck was almost empty. As he walked out the door, a strong gust lifted his heavy fur coat around his shoulders. He navigated the deck with excitement. The moment he stepped, almost breathless, behind the shelter of the stern, the wind stopped, and he felt a wave of warm air, bringing him a sense of close and intimate companionship. He stepped back and opened his coat as if something warm was actually clinging to him underneath. He quickly made his way up the deck and entered the saloon lounge, packed with women who had sought refuge from the biting wind. He engaged with them enthusiastically, chatting with the older ladies and playing accompaniment for the younger ones until the last sleepy girl followed her mother downstairs. Then he went into the smoking room. He played bridge until two in the morning and managed to lose a significant amount of money without really realizing it.

After the break of one fine day the weather was pretty consistently dull. When the low sky thinned a trifle, the pale white spot of a sun did no more than throw a bluish lustre on the water, giving it the dark brightness of newly cut lead. Through one after another of those gray days Alexander drowsed and mused, drinking in the grateful moisture. But the complete peace of the first part of the voyage was over. Sometimes he rose suddenly from his chair as if driven out, and paced the deck for hours. People noticed his propensity for walking in rough weather, and watched him curiously as he did his rounds. From his abstraction and the determined set of his jaw, they fancied he must be thinking about his bridge. Every one had heard of the new cantilever bridge in Canada.

After a beautiful day ended, the weather turned pretty consistently dull. When the low clouds cleared a bit, the pale white dot of the sun barely cast a bluish glow on the water, making it look like freshly cut lead. During those gray days, Alexander dozed off and daydreamed, soaking up the welcome moisture. But the peace of the early part of the journey was gone. Sometimes he'd suddenly get up from his chair, as if compelled, and walk around the deck for hours. People noticed his habit of walking in rough weather and watched him curiously as he made his rounds. From his distracted look and the determined set of his jaw, they imagined he must be thinking about his bridge. Everyone had heard about the new cantilever bridge in Canada.

But Alexander was not thinking about his work. After the fourth night out, when his will suddenly softened under his hands, he had been continually hammering away at himself. More and more often, when he first wakened in the morning or when he stepped into a warm place after being chilled on the deck, he felt a sudden painful delight at being nearer another shore. Sometimes when he was most despondent, when he thought himself worn out with this struggle, in a flash he was free of it and leaped into an overwhelming consciousness of himself. On the instant he felt that marvelous return of the impetuousness, the intense excitement, the increasing expectancy of youth.

But Alexander wasn’t focused on his work. After the fourth night out, when his determination suddenly weakened, he had been constantly pushing himself. More and more often, when he first woke up in the morning or when he entered a warm place after being cold on the deck, he felt a sudden, painful joy at being closer to another shore. Sometimes, when he felt most hopeless, thinking he was exhausted from this struggle, he suddenly broke free from it and experienced an overwhelming awareness of himself. In that moment, he felt that amazing rush of impulsiveness, the intense thrill, and the growing anticipation of youth.

CHAPTER VI

The last two days of the voyage Bartley found almost intolerable. The stop at Queenstown, the tedious passage up the Mersey, were things that he noted dimly through his growing impatience. He had planned to stop in Liverpool; but, instead, he took the boat train for London.

The last two days of the trip were almost unbearable for Bartley. He barely registered the stop in Queenstown and the boring journey up the Mersey as his impatience grew. He had intended to stop in Liverpool, but instead, he took the train to London.

Emerging at Euston at half-past three o’clock in the afternoon, Alexander had his luggage sent to the Savoy and drove at once to Bedford Square. When Marie met him at the door, even her strong sense of the proprieties could not restrain her surprise and delight. She blushed and smiled and fumbled his card in her confusion before she ran upstairs. Alexander paced up and down the hallway, buttoning and unbuttoning his overcoat, until she returned and took him up to Hilda’s living-room. The room was empty when he entered. A coal fire was crackling in the grate and the lamps were lit, for it was already beginning to grow dark outside. Alexander did not sit down. He stood his ground over by the windows until Hilda came in. She called his name on the threshold, but in her swift flight across the room she felt a change in him and caught herself up so deftly that he could not tell just when she did it. She merely brushed his cheek with her lips and put a hand lightly and joyously on either shoulder. “Oh, what a grand thing to happen on a raw day! I felt it in my bones when I woke this morning that something splendid was going to turn up. I thought it might be Sister Kate or Cousin Mike would be happening along. I never dreamed it would be you, Bartley. But why do you let me chatter on like this? Come over to the fire; you’re chilled through.”

Emerging at Euston at half-past three in the afternoon, Alexander had his luggage sent to the Savoy and drove straight to Bedford Square. When Marie met him at the door, even her strong sense of decorum couldn't hide her surprise and joy. She blushed, smiled, and fumbled with his card in her confusion before rushing upstairs. Alexander paced the hallway, buttoning and unbuttoning his overcoat, until she came back and took him up to Hilda’s living room. The room was empty when he walked in. A coal fire crackled in the grate, and the lamps were on since it was already getting dark outside. Alexander didn't sit down. He stood by the windows until Hilda entered. She called his name from the doorway, but as she quickly crossed the room, she sensed a change in him and caught herself so smoothly that he couldn’t tell exactly when it happened. She simply brushed his cheek with her lips and placed a hand lightly and joyfully on each of his shoulders. “Oh, what a wonderful thing to happen on a chilly day! I felt it in my bones when I woke up this morning that something amazing was going to happen. I thought it might be Sister Kate or Cousin Mike stopping by. I never imagined it would be you, Bartley. But why do I keep babbling like this? Come over to the fire; you’re freezing!”

She pushed him toward the big chair by the fire, and sat down on a stool at the opposite side of the hearth, her knees drawn up to her chin, laughing like a happy little girl.

She guided him to the big chair by the fire and took a seat on a stool across from the hearth, her knees pulled up to her chin, laughing like a cheerful little girl.

“When did you come, Bartley, and how did it happen? You haven’t spoken a word.”

“When did you get here, Bartley, and what happened? You haven’t said anything.”

“I got in about ten minutes ago. I landed at Liverpool this morning and came down on the boat train.”

“I arrived about ten minutes ago. I landed in Liverpool this morning and took the boat train down.”

Alexander leaned forward and warmed his hands before the blaze. Hilda watched him with perplexity.

Alexander leaned forward and warmed his hands by the fire. Hilda watched him, confused.

“There’s something troubling you, Bartley. What is it?”

“There’s something bothering you, Bartley. What’s going on?”

Bartley bent lower over the fire. “It’s the whole thing that troubles me, Hilda. You and I.”

Bartley leaned closer to the fire. “It’s the entire situation that worries me, Hilda. You and me.”

Hilda took a quick, soft breath. She looked at his heavy shoulders and big, determined head, thrust forward like a catapult in leash.

Hilda took a quick, soft breath. She looked at his broad shoulders and strong, determined head, pushed forward like a catapult on a leash.

“What about us, Bartley?” she asked in a thin voice.

“What about us, Bartley?” she asked in a faint voice.

He locked and unlocked his hands over the grate and spread his fingers close to the bluish flame, while the coals crackled and the clock ticked and a street vendor began to call under the window. At last Alexander brought out one word:—

He locked and unlocked his hands over the grate and spread his fingers near the bluish flame, while the coals crackled, the clock ticked, and a street vendor started to shout outside the window. Finally, Alexander managed to say one word:—

“Everything!”

"All of it!"

Hilda was pale by this time, and her eyes were wide with fright. She looked about desperately from Bartley to the door, then to the windows, and back again to Bartley. She rose uncertainly, touched his hair with her hand, then sank back upon her stool.

Hilda was pale by now, and her eyes were wide with fear. She looked around frantically from Bartley to the door, then to the windows, and back to Bartley. She stood up hesitantly, brushed his hair with her hand, then sank back onto her stool.

“I’ll do anything you wish me to, Bartley,” she said tremulously. “I can’t stand seeing you miserable.”

“I’ll do anything you want, Bartley,” she said nervously. “I can’t stand to see you unhappy.”

“I can’t live with myself any longer,” he answered roughly.

“I can’t stand being myself anymore,” he replied harshly.

He rose and pushed the chair behind him and began to walk miserably about the room, seeming to find it too small for him. He pulled up a window as if the air were heavy.

He stood up, pushed the chair back, and started to walk around the room, looking unhappy as if it were too small for him. He opened a window, as if the air felt too heavy.

Hilda watched him from her corner, trembling and scarcely breathing, dark shadows growing about her eyes.

Hilda watched him from her corner, shaking and barely breathing, dark shadows forming around her eyes.

“It . . . it hasn’t always made you miserable, has it?” Her eyelids fell and her lips quivered.

“It... it hasn’t always made you unhappy, has it?” Her eyelids lowered and her lips trembled.

“Always. But it’s worse now. It’s unbearable. It tortures me every minute.”

“Always. But it’s even worse now. It’s unbearable. It tortures me every minute.”

“But why now?” she asked piteously, wringing her hands.

“But why now?” she asked sadly, wringing her hands.

He ignored her question. “I am not a man who can live two lives,” he went on feverishly. “Each life spoils the other. I get nothing but misery out of either. The world is all there, just as it used to be, but I can’t get at it any more. There is this deception between me and everything.”

He brushed aside her question. “I’m not the kind of guy who can live two lives,” he continued passionately. “Each life ruins the other. I gain nothing but pain from either one. The world is still there, just like it always was, but I can’t reach it anymore. There's this barrier between me and everything.”

At that word “deception,” spoken with such self-contempt, the color flashed back into Hilda’s face as suddenly as if she had been struck by a whiplash. She bit her lip and looked down at her hands, which were clasped tightly in front of her.

At the word “deception,” said with such self-disgust, color rushed back into Hilda’s face as if she had been hit with a whip. She bit her lip and stared down at her hands, which were tightly clasped in front of her.

“Could you—could you sit down and talk about it quietly, Bartley, as if I were a friend, and not some one who had to be defied?”

“Could you—could you sit down and talk about it calmly, Bartley, as if I were a friend, and not someone who had to be challenged?”

He dropped back heavily into his chair by the fire. “It was myself I was defying, Hilda. I have thought about it until I am worn out.”

He slumped back heavily into his chair by the fire. “I was really defying myself, Hilda. I've thought about it so much that I'm completely worn out.”

He looked at her and his haggard face softened. He put out his hand toward her as he looked away again into the fire.

He looked at her, and his tired face softened. He reached out his hand toward her while he glanced away again into the fire.

She crept across to him, drawing her stool after her. “When did you first begin to feel like this, Bartley?”

She quietly moved over to him, dragging her stool behind her. “When did you first start feeling like this, Bartley?”

“After the very first. The first was—sort of in play, wasn’t it?”

“After the very first. The first was—kind of in play, right?”

Hilda’s face quivered, but she whispered: “Yes, I think it must have been. But why didn’t you tell me when you were here in the summer?”

Hilda’s face trembled, but she whispered, “Yeah, I think it definitely was. But why didn’t you tell me when you were here in the summer?”

Alexander groaned. “I meant to, but somehow I couldn’t. We had only a few days, and your new play was just on, and you were so happy.”

Alexander groaned. “I wanted to, but somehow I couldn’t. We only had a few days, and your new play was just showing, and you were so happy.”

“Yes, I was happy, wasn’t I?” She pressed his hand gently in gratitude. “Weren’t you happy then, at all?”

“Yes, I was happy, wasn’t I?” She squeezed his hand softly in appreciation. “Weren’t you happy at all back then?”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if to draw in again the fragrance of those days. Something of their troubling sweetness came back to Alexander, too. He moved uneasily and his chair creaked.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if to inhale the scent of those days once more. Some of their bittersweet charm returned to Alexander as well. He shifted uncomfortably, and his chair creaked.

“Yes, I was then. You know. But afterward. . .”

“Yes, I was then. You know. But after that. . .”

“Yes, yes,” she hurried, pulling her hand gently away from him. Presently it stole back to his coat sleeve. “Please tell me one thing, Bartley. At least, tell me that you believe I thought I was making you happy.”

“Yes, yes,” she rushed, gently pulling her hand away from him. But soon it returned to his coat sleeve. “Please tell me one thing, Bartley. At least, tell me that you believe I thought I was making you happy.”

His hand shut down quickly over the questioning fingers on his sleeves. “Yes, Hilda; I know that,” he said simply.

His hand quickly covered the questioning fingers on his sleeves. “Yes, Hilda; I know that,” he said plainly.

She leaned her head against his arm and spoke softly:—

She rested her head on his arm and spoke softly:—

“You see, my mistake was in wanting you to have everything. I wanted you to eat all the cakes and have them, too. I somehow believed that I could take all the bad consequences for you. I wanted you always to be happy and handsome and successful—to have all the things that a great man ought to have, and, once in a way, the careless holidays that great men are not permitted.”

"You see, my mistake was wanting you to have it all. I wanted you to enjoy all the cakes and have them, too. Somehow, I thought I could take on all the bad consequences for you. I wanted you to always be happy, attractive, and successful—to have all the things a great man should have, and occasionally the carefree vacations that great men aren't allowed."

Bartley gave a bitter little laugh, and Hilda looked up and read in the deepening lines of his face that youth and Bartley would not much longer struggle together.

Bartley gave a cynical little laugh, and Hilda looked up and saw in the deepening lines of his face that youth and Bartley wouldn’t be together much longer.

“I understand, Bartley. I was wrong. But I didn’t know. You’ve only to tell me now. What must I do that I’ve not done, or what must I not do?” She listened intently, but she heard nothing but the creaking of his chair. “You want me to say it?” she whispered. “You want to tell me that you can only see me like this, as old friends do, or out in the world among people? I can do that.”

“I get it, Bartley. I was wrong. But I didn't know. Just tell me now. What do I need to do that I haven't done, or what should I stop doing?” She listened closely, but the only thing she heard was the creaking of his chair. “You want me to say it?” she whispered. “You want to tell me that you can only see me like this, like old friends do, or out in the world with people? I can do that.”

“I can’t,” he said heavily.

“I can’t,” he said sadly.

Hilda shivered and sat still. Bartley leaned his head in his hands and spoke through his teeth. “It’s got to be a clean break, Hilda. I can’t see you at all, anywhere. What I mean is that I want you to promise never to see me again, no matter how often I come, no matter how hard I beg.”

Hilda shivered and stayed quiet. Bartley leaned his head into his hands and spoke through clenched teeth. “It has to be a clean break, Hilda. I can’t see you at all, anywhere. What I mean is that I want you to promise to never see me again, no matter how often I show up, no matter how hard I beg.”

Hilda sprang up like a flame. She stood over him with her hands clenched at her side, her body rigid.

Hilda jumped up like a spark. She towered over him with her hands clenched at her sides, her body stiff.

“No!” she gasped. “It’s too late to ask that. Do you hear me, Bartley? It’s too late. I won’t promise. It’s abominable of you to ask me. Keep away if you wish; when have I ever followed you? But, if you come to me, I’ll do as I see fit. The shamefulness of your asking me to do that! If you come to me, I’ll do as I see fit. Do you understand? Bartley, you’re cowardly!”

“No!” she exclaimed, breathing heavily. “It’s too late to ask me that. Do you hear me, Bartley? It’s too late. I won’t make that promise. It’s terrible of you to ask. Stay away if you want; when have I ever chased after you? But if you come to me, I’ll do what I think is right. How shameful it is for you to request that! If you come to me, I’ll do what I think is right. Do you get it? Bartley, you’re a coward!”

Alexander rose and shook himself angrily. “Yes, I know I’m cowardly. I’m afraid of myself. I don’t trust myself any more. I carried it all lightly enough at first, but now I don’t dare trifle with it. It’s getting the better of me. It’s different now. I’m growing older, and you’ve got my young self here with you. It’s through him that I’ve come to wish for you all and all the time.” He took her roughly in his arms. “Do you know what I mean?”

Alexander got up and shook himself in frustration. “Yeah, I know I’m cowardly. I’m scared of myself. I don’t trust myself anymore. I handled it all pretty easily at first, but now I can’t afford to take it lightly. It’s starting to overpower me. It’s different now. I’m getting older, and you’ve got my younger self here with you. It’s because of him that I’ve come to want you all the time.” He pulled her into his arms roughly. “Do you get what I mean?”

Hilda held her face back from him and began to cry bitterly. “Oh, Bartley, what am I to do? Why didn’t you let me be angry with you? You ask me to stay away from you because you want me! And I’ve got nobody but you. I will do anything you say—but that! I will ask the least imaginable, but I must have something!

Hilda turned her face away from him and started to cry hard. “Oh, Bartley, what am I supposed to do? Why didn’t you let me be mad at you? You want me to stay away because you actually want me! And I have no one but you. I’ll do whatever you say—but not that! I’ll ask for the smallest thing, but I need to have something!

Bartley turned away and sank down in his chair again. Hilda sat on the arm of it and put her hands lightly on his shoulders.

Bartley turned away and sank back into his chair. Hilda sat on the arm and rested her hands gently on his shoulders.

“Just something Bartley. I must have you to think of through the months and months of loneliness. I must see you. I must know about you. The sight of you, Bartley, to see you living and happy and successful—can I never make you understand what that means to me?” She pressed his shoulders gently. “You see, loving some one as I love you makes the whole world different. If I’d met you later, if I hadn’t loved you so well—but that’s all over, long ago. Then came all those years without you, lonely and hurt and discouraged; those decent young fellows and poor Mac, and me never heeding—hard as a steel spring. And then you came back, not caring very much, but it made no difference.”

“Just something, Bartley. I need you to think of during these months and months of loneliness. I need to see you. I need to know about you. The sight of you, Bartley, seeing you alive, happy, and successful—can I ever make you understand what that means to me?” She gently pressed his shoulders. “You see, loving someone like I love you changes the entire world. If I had met you later, if I hadn’t loved you so deeply—but that’s all in the past, long ago. Then came all those years without you, lonely, hurt, and discouraged; those decent young guys and poor Mac, and I never paid attention—hard as a steel spring. And then you came back, not caring much, but it made no difference.”

She slid to the floor beside him, as if she were too tired to sit up any longer. Bartley bent over and took her in his arms, kissing her mouth and her wet, tired eyes.

She dropped to the floor next to him, looking too exhausted to stay sitting up any longer. Bartley leaned down and held her in his arms, kissing her lips and her damp, tired eyes.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry,” he whispered. “We’ve tortured each other enough for tonight. Forget everything except that I am here.”

“Don’t cry, don’t cry,” he whispered. “We’ve hurt each other enough for tonight. Just forget everything except the fact that I’m here.”

“I think I have forgotten everything but that already,” she murmured. “Ah, your dear arms!”

“I think I’ve forgotten everything else already,” she murmured. “Ah, your lovely arms!”

CHAPTER VII

During the fortnight that Alexander was in London he drove himself hard. He got through a great deal of personal business and saw a great many men who were doing interesting things in his own profession. He disliked to think of his visits to London as holidays, and when he was there he worked even harder than he did at home.

During the two weeks that Alexander was in London, he pushed himself really hard. He took care of a lot of personal matters and met many people who were doing fascinating things in his field. He didn’t like to think of his trips to London as vacations, and when he was there, he worked even harder than he did back home.

The day before his departure for Liverpool was a singularly fine one. The thick air had cleared overnight in a strong wind which brought in a golden dawn and then fell off to a fresh breeze. When Bartley looked out of his windows from the Savoy, the river was flashing silver and the gray stone along the Embankment was bathed in bright, clear sunshine. London had wakened to life after three weeks of cold and sodden rain. Bartley breakfasted hurriedly and went over his mail while the hotel valet packed his trunks. Then he paid his account and walked rapidly down the Strand past Charing Cross Station. His spirits rose with every step, and when he reached Trafalgar Square, blazing in the sun, with its fountains playing and its column reaching up into the bright air, he signaled to a hansom, and, before he knew what he was about, told the driver to go to Bedford Square by way of the British Museum.

The day before his departure for Liverpool was particularly beautiful. The heavy air had cleared overnight with a strong wind that brought a golden dawn and then turned into a fresh breeze. When Bartley looked out of his windows at the Savoy, the river was shimmering in silver and the gray stone along the Embankment was glowing in bright, clear sunshine. London had come alive after three weeks of cold, soggy rain. Bartley had a quick breakfast and went through his mail while the hotel valet packed his bags. After that, he settled his bill and quickly walked down the Strand past Charing Cross Station. His spirits lifted with every step, and when he reached Trafalgar Square, shining in the sun, with its fountains running and its column reaching into the bright sky, he signaled for a cab, and, without really thinking, told the driver to take him to Bedford Square via the British Museum.

When he reached Hilda’s apartment she met him, fresh as the morning itself. Her rooms were flooded with sunshine and full of the flowers he had been sending her. She would never let him give her anything else.

When he got to Hilda’s apartment, she greeted him, radiant as the morning. Her rooms were lit with sunshine and filled with the flowers he had been sending her. She would never allow him to give her anything else.

“Are you busy this morning, Hilda?” he asked as he sat down, his hat and gloves in his hand.

“Are you busy this morning, Hilda?” he asked as he sat down, holding his hat and gloves.

“Very. I’ve been up and about three hours, working at my part. We open in February, you know.”

“Very. I’ve been up and about for three hours, working on my part. We open in February, you know.”

“Well, then you’ve worked enough. And so have I. I’ve seen all my men, my packing is done, and I go up to Liverpool this evening. But this morning we are going to have a holiday. What do you say to a drive out to Kew and Richmond? You may not get another day like this all winter. It’s like a fine April day at home. May I use your telephone? I want to order the carriage.”

“Well, you’ve done enough work. So have I. I’ve seen all my guys, my packing is finished, and I’m heading up to Liverpool this evening. But this morning, we’re going to take a break. How about a drive out to Kew and Richmond? You might not get another day like this all winter. It’s like a nice April day back home. Can I use your phone? I want to order the carriage.”

“Oh, how jolly! There, sit down at the desk. And while you are telephoning I’ll change my dress. I shan’t be long. All the morning papers are on the table.”

“Oh, how delightful! There, take a seat at the desk. And while you make your call, I’ll change my outfit. I won’t be long. All the morning papers are on the table.”

Hilda was back in a few moments wearing a long gray squirrel coat and a broad fur hat.

Hilda returned in a few moments, dressed in a long gray squirrel coat and a wide fur hat.

Bartley rose and inspected her. “Why don’t you wear some of those pink roses?” he asked.

Bartley got up and looked her over. “Why don’t you wear some of those pink roses?” he asked.

“But they came only this morning, and they have not even begun to open. I was saving them. I am so unconsciously thrifty!” She laughed as she looked about the room. “You’ve been sending me far too many flowers, Bartley. New ones every day. That’s too often; though I do love to open the boxes, and I take good care of them.”

“But they just arrived this morning, and they haven’t even started to bloom. I was saving them. I’m so unknowingly frugal!” She laughed as she glanced around the room. “You’ve been sending me way too many flowers, Bartley. New ones every day. That’s too frequent; although I do love unboxing them, and I take great care of them.”

“Why won’t you let me send you any of those jade or ivory things you are so fond of? Or pictures? I know a good deal about pictures.”

“Why won’t you let me send you any of those jade or ivory things you like so much? Or pictures? I know quite a bit about pictures.”

Hilda shook her large hat as she drew the roses out of the tall glass. “No, there are some things you can’t do. There’s the carriage. Will you button my gloves for me?”

Hilda shook her big hat as she pulled the roses out of the tall glass. “No, there are some things you can’t do. There’s the carriage. Will you button my gloves for me?”

Bartley took her wrist and began to button the long gray suede glove. “How gay your eyes are this morning, Hilda.”

Bartley took her wrist and started to button the long gray suede glove. "Your eyes look so bright this morning, Hilda."

“That’s because I’ve been studying. It always stirs me up a little.”

“That’s because I’ve been studying. It always gets me a bit worked up.”

He pushed the top of the glove up slowly. “When did you learn to take hold of your parts like that?”

He slowly pushed the top of the glove up. “When did you learn to control your body like that?”

“When I had nothing else to think of. Come, the carriage is waiting. What a shocking while you take.”

“When I had nothing else to think about. Come on, the carriage is waiting. What a long time you're taking.”

“I’m in no hurry. We’ve plenty of time.”

“I’m not in a rush. We have plenty of time.”

They found all London abroad. Piccadilly was a stream of rapidly moving carriages, from which flashed furs and flowers and bright winter costumes. The metal trappings of the harnesses shone dazzlingly, and the wheels were revolving disks that threw off rays of light. The parks were full of children and nursemaids and joyful dogs that leaped and yelped and scratched up the brown earth with their paws.

They found all of London out and about. Piccadilly was filled with cars zooming by, showcasing furs, flowers, and bright winter outfits. The shiny metal of the harnesses gleamed, and the wheels spun like glowing disks, sending off rays of light. The parks were packed with kids, nannies, and happy dogs that jumped, barked, and dug into the brown dirt with their paws.

“I’m not going until to-morrow, you know,” Bartley announced suddenly. “I’ll cut off a day in Liverpool. I haven’t felt so jolly this long while.”

“I’m not going until tomorrow, you know,” Bartley said suddenly. “I’ll skip a day in Liverpool. I haven’t felt this happy in a long time.”

Hilda looked up with a smile which she tried not to make too glad. “I think people were meant to be happy, a little,” she said.

Hilda looked up with a smile that she tried not to make too bright. “I think people are meant to be a bit happy,” she said.

They had lunch at Richmond and then walked to Twickenham, where they had sent the carriage. They drove back, with a glorious sunset behind them, toward the distant gold-washed city. It was one of those rare afternoons when all the thickness and shadow of London are changed to a kind of shining, pulsing, special atmosphere; when the smoky vapors become fluttering golden clouds, nacreous veils of pink and amber; when all that bleakness of gray stone and dullness of dirty brick trembles in aureate light, and all the roofs and spires, and one great dome, are floated in golden haze. On such rare afternoons the ugliest of cities becomes the most poetic, and months of sodden days are offset by a moment of miracle.

They had lunch in Richmond and then walked to Twickenham, where they had sent the carriage. They drove back, with a beautiful sunset behind them, toward the distant, gold-hued city. It was one of those rare afternoons when all the heaviness and shadows of London turn into a kind of shining, vibrant, special atmosphere; when the smoky fumes become fluttering golden clouds, pearlescent veils of pink and amber; when all the bleak gray stone and dreary dirty brick shimmer in golden light, and all the roofs and spires, and one large dome, are bathed in golden haze. On such rare afternoons, even the ugliest of cities becomes the most poetic, and months of dreary days are lifted by a moment of magic.

“It’s like that with us Londoners, too,” Hilda was saying. “Everything is awfully grim and cheerless, our weather and our houses and our ways of amusing ourselves. But we can be happier than anybody. We can go mad with joy, as the people do out in the fields on a fine Whitsunday. We make the most of our moment.”

“It’s like that with us Londoners, too,” Hilda was saying. “Everything is really dreary and dull—our weather, our homes, and the way we have fun. But we can be happier than anyone else. We can go wild with joy, just like people do in the fields on a beautiful Whitsunday. We make the most of our moment.”

She thrust her little chin out defiantly over her gray fur collar, and Bartley looked down at her and laughed.

She pushed her little chin out defiantly over her gray fur collar, and Bartley looked down at her and laughed.

“You are a plucky one, you.” He patted her glove with his hand. “Yes, you are a plucky one.”

“You're a brave one, you.” He patted her glove with his hand. “Yes, you are a brave one.”

Hilda sighed. “No, I’m not. Not about some things, at any rate. It doesn’t take pluck to fight for one’s moment, but it takes pluck to go without—a lot. More than I have. I can’t help it,” she added fiercely.

Hilda sighed. “No, I’m not. Not about some things, anyway. It doesn’t take guts to fight for your moment, but it takes guts to do without—a lot. More than I have. I can’t help it,” she added fiercely.

After miles of outlying streets and little gloomy houses, they reached London itself, red and roaring and murky, with a thick dampness coming up from the river, that betokened fog again to-morrow. The streets were full of people who had worked indoors all through the priceless day and had now come hungrily out to drink the muddy lees of it. They stood in long black lines, waiting before the pit entrances of the theatres—short-coated boys, and girls in sailor hats, all shivering and chatting gayly. There was a blurred rhythm in all the dull city noises—in the clatter of the cab horses and the rumbling of the busses, in the street calls, and in the undulating tramp, tramp of the crowd. It was like the deep vibration of some vast underground machinery, and like the muffled pulsations of millions of human hearts.

After miles of remote streets and little dark houses, they finally arrived in London, vibrant and loud and murky, with a thick dampness rising from the river, hinting at fog again tomorrow. The streets were filled with people who had worked inside all day and had now come out eagerly to savor the remnants of it. They stood in long black lines, waiting in front of the theater entrances—young boys in short coats and girls in sailor hats, all shivering and chatting cheerfully. There was a blurred rhythm to all the dull city sounds—in the clatter of the cab horses and the rumbling of the buses, in the street vendors' calls, and in the steady march of the crowd. It was like the deep vibration of some massive underground machine, and like the muffled beats of millions of human hearts.

[See “The Barrel Organ by Alfred Noyes. Ed.] [I have placed it at the end for your convenience]

[See “The Barrel Organ by Alfred Noyes. Ed.] [I’ve put it at the end for your convenience]

“Seems good to get back, doesn’t it?” Bartley whispered, as they drove from Bayswater Road into Oxford Street. “London always makes me want to live more than any other city in the world. You remember our priestess mummy over in the mummy-room, and how we used to long to go and bring her out on nights like this? Three thousand years! Ugh!”

“Feels nice to be back, doesn’t it?” Bartley whispered as they drove from Bayswater Road into Oxford Street. “London always makes me want to live more than any other city in the world. Remember our priestess mummy in the mummy room, and how we used to wish we could take her out on nights like this? Three thousand years! Yikes!”

“All the same, I believe she used to feel it when we stood there and watched her and wished her well. I believe she used to remember,” Hilda said thoughtfully.

“All the same, I think she could feel it when we stood there and watched her, hoping for the best. I think she used to remember,” Hilda said thoughtfully.

“I hope so. Now let’s go to some awfully jolly place for dinner before we go home. I could eat all the dinners there are in London to-night. Where shall I tell the driver? The Piccadilly Restaurant? The music’s good there.”

“I hope so. Now let’s go to a really fun place for dinner before we head home. I could eat all the dinners in London tonight. Where should I tell the driver to take us? The Piccadilly Restaurant? The music is good there.”

“There are too many people there whom one knows. Why not that little French place in Soho, where we went so often when you were here in the summer? I love it, and I’ve never been there with any one but you. Sometimes I go by myself, when I am particularly lonely.”

“There are way too many people there that you know. How about that little French spot in Soho, where we used to go so often when you were here in the summer? I love it, and I’ve never gone with anyone else but you. Sometimes I go alone when I’m feeling especially lonely.”

“Very well, the sole’s good there. How many street pianos there are about to-night! The fine weather must have thawed them out. We’ve had five miles of ‘Il Trovatore’ now. They always make me feel jaunty. Are you comfy, and not too tired?”

“Alright, the sole’s good there. There are so many street pianos out tonight! The nice weather must have brought them out. We’ve been walking for five miles of ‘Il Trovatore’ now. They always lift my spirits. Are you comfortable and not too tired?”

“I’m not tired at all. I was just wondering how people can ever die. Why did you remind me of the mummy? Life seems the strongest and most indestructible thing in the world. Do you really believe that all those people rushing about down there, going to good dinners and clubs and theatres, will be dead some day, and not care about anything? I don’t believe it, and I know I shan’t die, ever! You see, I feel too—too powerful!”

“I’m not tired at all. I was just thinking about how people can ever die. Why did you remind me of the mummy? Life feels like the strongest and most indestructible thing in the world. Do you really believe all those people rushing around down there, going to nice dinners and clubs and theaters, will someday be dead and not care about anything? I don’t believe that, and I know I’ll never die! You see, I feel way too—too powerful!”

The carriage stopped. Bartley sprang out and swung her quickly to the pavement. As he lifted her in his two hands he whispered: “You are—powerful!”

The carriage came to a halt. Bartley jumped out and quickly helped her onto the sidewalk. As he lifted her with both hands, he whispered, “You are—amazing!”

CHAPTER VIII

The last rehearsal was over, a tedious dress rehearsal which had lasted all day and exhausted the patience of every one who had to do with it. When Hilda had dressed for the street and came out of her dressing-room, she found Hugh MacConnell waiting for her in the corridor.

The final rehearsal was done, a long dress rehearsal that had gone on all day and tested the patience of everyone involved. When Hilda had gotten dressed for the street and stepped out of her dressing room, she found Hugh MacConnell waiting for her in the hallway.

“The fog’s thicker than ever, Hilda. There have been a great many accidents to-day. It’s positively unsafe for you to be out alone. Will you let me take you home?”

“The fog is thicker than ever, Hilda. There have been a lot of accidents today. It’s definitely unsafe for you to be out alone. Can I take you home?”

“How good of you, Mac. If you are going with me, I think I’d rather walk. I’ve had no exercise to-day, and all this has made me nervous.”

“That's so kind of you, Mac. If you're coming with me, I think I'd prefer to walk. I haven't had any exercise today, and all this has made me anxious.”

“I shouldn’t wonder,” said MacConnell dryly. Hilda pulled down her veil and they stepped out into the thick brown wash that submerged St. Martin’s Lane. MacConnell took her hand and tucked it snugly under his arm. “I’m sorry I was such a savage. I hope you didn’t think I made an ass of myself.”

“I shouldn’t be surprised,” MacConnell said dryly. Hilda lowered her veil, and they stepped into the thick brown mud that covered St. Martin’s Lane. MacConnell took her hand and tucked it comfortably under his arm. “I’m sorry for being so rude. I hope you didn’t think I embarrassed myself.”

“Not a bit of it. I don’t wonder you were peppery. Those things are awfully trying. How do you think it’s going?”

“Not at all. I can see why you were frustrated. Those situations are really tough. How do you think it’s going?”

“Magnificently. That’s why I got so stirred up. We are going to hear from this, both of us. And that reminds me; I’ve got news for you. They are going to begin repairs on the theatre about the middle of March, and we are to run over to New York for six weeks. Bennett told me yesterday that it was decided.”

“Magnificently. That’s why I got so worked up. We’re both going to hear about this. And that reminds me; I have news for you. They’re going to start repairs on the theater around the middle of March, and we’re supposed to head over to New York for six weeks. Bennett told me yesterday that it was decided.”

Hilda looked up delightedly at the tall gray figure beside her. He was the only thing she could see, for they were moving through a dense opaqueness, as if they were walking at the bottom of the ocean.

Hilda looked up happily at the tall gray figure next to her. He was the only thing she could see, since they were moving through a thick darkness, as if they were walking at the bottom of the ocean.

“Oh, Mac, how glad I am! And they love your things over there, don’t they?”

“Oh, Mac, I’m so happy! And they really love your stuff over there, right?”

“Shall you be glad for—any other reason, Hilda?”

“Are you going to be happy for any other reason, Hilda?”

MacConnell put his hand in front of her to ward off some dark object. It proved to be only a lamp-post, and they beat in farther from the edge of the pavement.

MacConnell raised his hand in front of her to block a dark object. It turned out to be just a lamp post, and they moved further away from the edge of the sidewalk.

“What do you mean, Mac?” Hilda asked nervously.

“What do you mean, Mac?” Hilda asked anxiously.

“I was just thinking there might be people over there you’d be glad to see,” he brought out awkwardly. Hilda said nothing, and as they walked on MacConnell spoke again, apologetically: “I hope you don’t mind my knowing about it, Hilda. Don’t stiffen up like that. No one else knows, and I didn’t try to find out anything. I felt it, even before I knew who he was. I knew there was somebody, and that it wasn’t I.”

“I was just thinking there might be people over there you'd be happy to see,” he said awkwardly. Hilda didn’t respond, and as they continued walking, MacConnell spoke again, apologetically: “I hope you don’t mind me knowing about it, Hilda. Don’t get tense like that. No one else knows, and I didn’t try to dig anything up. I sensed it, even before I knew who he was. I knew there was someone, and that it wasn’t me.”

They crossed Oxford Street in silence, feeling their way. The busses had stopped running and the cab-drivers were leading their horses. When they reached the other side, MacConnell said suddenly, “I hope you are happy.”

They crossed Oxford Street quietly, taking it slow. The buses had stopped running and the cab drivers were walking their horses. When they got to the other side, MacConnell suddenly said, “I hope you’re happy.”

“Terribly, dangerously happy, Mac,”—Hilda spoke quietly, pressing the rough sleeve of his greatcoat with her gloved hand.

“Terribly, dangerously happy, Mac,” Hilda said softly, pressing the rough sleeve of his greatcoat with her gloved hand.

“You’ve always thought me too old for you, Hilda,—oh, of course you’ve never said just that,—and here this fellow is not more than eight years younger than I. I’ve always felt that if I could get out of my old case I might win you yet. It’s a fine, brave youth I carry inside me, only he’ll never be seen.”

“You’ve always thought I was too old for you, Hilda—oh, of course you’ve never said that outright—but this guy is only about eight years younger than I am. I’ve always believed that if I could break free from my old self, I might still be able to win you over. There’s a strong, courageous young man inside me, but he’ll never be set free.”

“Nonsense, Mac. That has nothing to do with it. It’s because you seem too close to me, too much my own kind. It would be like marrying Cousin Mike, almost. I really tried to care as you wanted me to, away back in the beginning.”

“Nonsense, Mac. That’s not the issue. It’s because you feel too familiar, too much like someone from my own family. It’s almost like marrying Cousin Mike. I genuinely tried to feel the way you wanted me to, back at the start.”

“Well, here we are, turning out of the Square. You are not angry with me, Hilda? Thank you for this walk, my dear. Go in and get dry things on at once. You’ll be having a great night to-morrow.”

“Well, here we are, leaving the Square. You’re not mad at me, are you, Hilda? Thanks for this walk, my dear. Go inside and put on some dry clothes right away. You’re going to have a great night tomorrow.”

She put out her hand. “Thank you, Mac, for everything. Good-night.”

She reached out her hand. “Thanks, Mac, for everything. Goodnight.”

MacConnell trudged off through the fog, and she went slowly upstairs. Her slippers and dressing gown were waiting for her before the fire. “I shall certainly see him in New York. He will see by the papers that we are coming. Perhaps he knows it already,” Hilda kept thinking as she undressed. “Perhaps he will be at the dock. No, scarcely that; but I may meet him in the street even before he comes to see me.” Marie placed the tea-table by the fire and brought Hilda her letters. She looked them over, and started as she came to one in a handwriting that she did not often see; Alexander had written to her only twice before, and he did not allow her to write to him at all. “Thank you, Marie. You may go now.”

MacConnell trudged off through the fog, and she slowly went upstairs. Her slippers and robe were waiting for her by the fire. “I will definitely see him in New York. He’ll see in the papers that we’re coming. Maybe he already knows,” Hilda kept thinking as she undressed. “Maybe he’ll be at the dock. No, probably not; but I might run into him on the street even before he comes to see me.” Marie set the tea table by the fire and brought Hilda her letters. She looked through them and jumped a little when she found one in handwriting she rarely saw; Alexander had written to her only twice before, and he never let her write to him at all. “Thanks, Marie. You can go now.”

Hilda sat down by the table with the letter in her hand, still unopened. She looked at it intently, turned it over, and felt its thickness with her fingers. She believed that she sometimes had a kind of second-sight about letters, and could tell before she read them whether they brought good or evil tidings. She put this one down on the table in front of her while she poured her tea. At last, with a little shiver of expectancy, she tore open the envelope and read:—

Hilda sat down at the table with the letter in her hand, still unopened. She stared at it closely, flipped it over, and felt its thickness between her fingers. She thought she had a kind of intuition about letters and could sense before reading them whether they carried good or bad news. She set this one down on the table in front of her while she poured her tea. Finally, with a slight shiver of anticipation, she ripped open the envelope and read:—

BOSTON, February —

BOSTON, February —

MY DEAR HILDA:—

MY DEAR HILDA:—

It is after twelve o’clock. Every one else is in bed and I am sitting alone in my study. I have been happier in this room than anywhere else in the world. Happiness like that makes one insolent. I used to think these four walls could stand against anything. And now I scarcely know myself here. Now I know that no one can build his security upon the nobleness of another person. Two people, when they love each other, grow alike in their tastes and habits and pride, but their moral natures (whatever we may mean by that canting expression) are never welded. The base one goes on being base, and the noble one noble, to the end.

It’s past midnight. Everyone else is asleep, and I’m sitting alone in my study. I’ve been happier in this room than anywhere else in the world. That kind of happiness can make you arrogant. I once believed these four walls could protect me from anything. Now, I hardly recognize myself here. I realize that you can't rely on another person's goodness for your own security. When two people love each other, they start to resemble each other in their tastes, habits, and pride, but their moral essences (whatever that pretentious term means) never truly merge. The flawed person remains flawed, and the good person stays good, until the end.

The last week has been a bad one; I have been realizing how things used to be with me. Sometimes I get used to being dead inside, but lately it has been as if a window beside me had suddenly opened, and as if all the smells of spring blew in to me. There is a garden out there, with stars overhead, where I used to walk at night when I had a single purpose and a single heart. I can remember how I used to feel there, how beautiful everything about me was, and what life and power and freedom I felt in myself. When the window opens I know exactly how it would feel to be out there. But that garden is closed to me. How is it, I ask myself, that everything can be so different with me when nothing here has changed? I am in my own house, in my own study, in the midst of all these quiet streets where my friends live. They are all safe and at peace with themselves. But I am never at peace. I feel always on the edge of danger and change.

The last week has been tough; I've been reflecting on how things used to be for me. Sometimes, I get used to feeling empty inside, but lately it’s like a window next to me suddenly opened, and all the scents of spring rushed in. There’s a garden out there, with stars above, where I used to stroll at night when I had a clear purpose and a whole heart. I can remember how I felt back then, how beautiful everything around me was, and the sense of life, power, and freedom I experienced. When that window opens, I can vividly imagine what it would be like to be out there. But that garden is closed off to me. I wonder, how can everything feel so different for me when nothing here has changed? I'm in my own home, in my own study, surrounded by these quiet streets where my friends live. They're all safe and at peace with themselves. But I never feel at peace. I always feel like I'm on the brink of danger and change.

I keep remembering locoed horses I used to see on the range when I was a boy. They changed like that. We used to catch them and put them up in the corral, and they developed great cunning. They would pretend to eat their oats like the other horses, but we knew they were always scheming to get back at the loco.

I keep remembering crazy horses I used to see on the range when I was a kid. They changed like that. We would catch them and put them in the corral, and they got really clever. They would act like they were eating their oats like the other horses, but we knew they were always plotting to escape back to the wild.

It seems that a man is meant to live only one life in this world. When he tries to live a second, he develops another nature. I feel as if a second man had been grafted into me. At first he seemed only a pleasure-loving simpleton, of whose company I was rather ashamed, and whom I used to hide under my coat when I walked the Embankment, in London. But now he is strong and sullen, and he is fighting for his life at the cost of mine. That is his one activity: to grow strong. No creature ever wanted so much to live. Eventually, I suppose, he will absorb me altogether. Believe me, you will hate me then.

It seems that a person is meant to live just one life in this world. When they try to live a second, they develop a different nature. I feel like a second person has been grafted onto me. At first, he seemed like just a pleasure-seeking fool, someone I was kind of embarrassed about, and I would hide him under my coat when I walked along the Embankment in London. But now he’s strong and brooding, and he’s fighting for his life at the expense of mine. That’s his only goal: to grow stronger. No creature has ever wanted to live so much. Eventually, I guess, he will completely take me over. Trust me, you will hate me then.

And what have you to do, Hilda, with this ugly story? Nothing at all. The little boy drank of the prettiest brook in the forest and he became a stag. I write all this because I can never tell it to you, and because it seems as if I could not keep silent any longer. And because I suffer, Hilda. If any one I loved suffered like this, I’d want to know it. Help me, Hilda!

And what do you have to do with this ugly story, Hilda? Nothing at all. The little boy drank from the most beautiful brook in the forest and turned into a stag. I'm writing all this because I can never tell you directly, and it feels like I can't keep quiet any longer. And because I'm suffering, Hilda. If someone I loved was going through this, I'd want to know. Help me, Hilda!

B.A.

Bachelor's Degree

CHAPTER IX

On the last Saturday in April, the New York “Times” published an account of the strike complications which were delaying Alexander’s New Jersey bridge, and stated that the engineer himself was in town and at his office on West Tenth Street.

On the last Saturday in April, the New York Times published a report about the strike issues that were delaying Alexander’s New Jersey bridge, mentioning that the engineer was in town and at his office on West Tenth Street.

On Sunday, the day after this notice appeared, Alexander worked all day at his Tenth Street rooms. His business often called him to New York, and he had kept an apartment there for years, subletting it when he went abroad for any length of time. Besides his sleeping-room and bath, there was a large room, formerly a painter’s studio, which he used as a study and office. It was furnished with the cast-off possessions of his bachelor days and with odd things which he sheltered for friends of his who followed itinerant and more or less artistic callings. Over the fireplace there was a large old-fashioned gilt mirror. Alexander’s big work-table stood in front of one of the three windows, and above the couch hung the one picture in the room, a big canvas of charming color and spirit, a study of the Luxembourg Gardens in early spring, painted in his youth by a man who had since become a portrait-painter of international renown. He had done it for Alexander when they were students together in Paris.

On Sunday, the day after this notice appeared, Alexander worked all day in his Tenth Street apartment. His work often took him to New York, and he had kept an apartment there for years, subletting it whenever he went abroad for a while. Besides his bedroom and bathroom, there was a large room, once a painter’s studio, which he used as his study and office. It was furnished with the leftover items from his bachelor days and with random things he stored for friends of his who lived artistic and itinerant lifestyles. Above the fireplace, there was a large, old-fashioned gilt mirror. Alexander’s big work table was in front of one of the three windows, and above the couch hung the only picture in the room, a large canvas with beautiful color and energy, a depiction of the Luxembourg Gardens in early spring, painted in his youth by a man who later became an internationally renowned portrait painter. He had created it for Alexander when they were both students in Paris.

Sunday was a cold, raw day and a fine rain fell continuously. When Alexander came back from dinner he put more wood on his fire, made himself comfortable, and settled down at his desk, where he began checking over estimate sheets. It was after nine o’clock and he was lighting a second pipe, when he thought he heard a sound at his door. He started and listened, holding the burning match in his hand; again he heard the same sound, like a firm, light tap. He rose and crossed the room quickly. When he threw open the door he recognized the figure that shrank back into the bare, dimly lit hallway. He stood for a moment in awkward constraint, his pipe in his hand.

Sunday was a cold, dreary day, and a soft rain fell continuously. When Alexander returned from dinner, he added more wood to his fire, got comfortable, and sat down at his desk to review estimate sheets. It was after nine o’clock, and as he was lighting a second pipe, he thought he heard a sound at his door. He jumped and listened, holding the burning match in his hand; again he heard the same sound, like a light, firm tap. He quickly got up and crossed the room. When he opened the door, he recognized the figure that shrank back into the bare, dimly lit hallway. He paused for a moment in awkward silence, his pipe still in hand.

“Come in,” he said to Hilda at last, and closed the door behind her. He pointed to a chair by the fire and went back to his worktable. “Won’t you sit down?”

“Come in,” he finally said to Hilda, shutting the door behind her. He gestured to a chair by the fire and returned to his worktable. “Won’t you have a seat?”

He was standing behind the table, turning over a pile of blueprints nervously. The yellow light from the student’s lamp fell on his hands and the purple sleeves of his velvet smoking-jacket, but his flushed face and big, hard head were in the shadow. There was something about him that made Hilda wish herself at her hotel again, in the street below, anywhere but where she was.

He was standing behind the table, nervously going through a stack of blueprints. The yellow light from the student’s lamp illuminated his hands and the purple sleeves of his velvet smoking jacket, but his flushed face and large, tough head were in the shadows. There was something about him that made Hilda wish she were back at her hotel, down on the street, anywhere but here.

“Of course I know, Bartley,” she said at last, “that after this you won’t owe me the least consideration. But we sail on Tuesday. I saw that interview in the paper yesterday, telling where you were, and I thought I had to see you. That’s all. Good-night; I’m going now.” She turned and her hand closed on the door-knob.

“Of course I know, Bartley,” she finally said, “that after this you won’t owe me any consideration at all. But we’re sailing on Tuesday. I saw that interview in the paper yesterday mentioning your whereabouts, and I felt I had to come see you. That’s it. Goodnight; I'm leaving now.” She turned and grasped the doorknob.

Alexander hurried toward her and took her gently by the arm. “Sit down, Hilda; you’re wet through. Let me take off your coat—and your boots; they’re oozing water.” He knelt down and began to unlace her shoes, while Hilda shrank into the chair. “Here, put your feet on this stool. You don’t mean to say you walked down—and without overshoes!”

Alexander rushed over to her and gently took her by the arm. “Sit down, Hilda; you’re soaked. Let me take off your coat—and your boots; they’re leaking water.” He knelt down and started to untie her shoes, while Hilda curled up in the chair. “Here, put your feet on this stool. You can't be saying you walked all the way here—and without rain boots!”

Hilda hid her face in her hands. “I was afraid to take a cab. Can’t you see, Bartley, that I’m terribly frightened? I’ve been through this a hundred times to-day. Don’t be any more angry than you can help. I was all right until I knew you were in town. If you’d sent me a note, or telephoned me, or anything! But you won’t let me write to you, and I had to see you after that letter, that terrible letter you wrote me when you got home.”

Hilda buried her face in her hands. “I was scared to take a cab. Can’t you see, Bartley, that I’m really frightened? I’ve gone through this a hundred times today. Please don’t be more upset than you have to be. I was fine until I found out you were in town. If you had just sent me a note, or called me, or anything! But you won’t let me write to you, and I had to see you after that horrible letter you sent me when you got home.”

Alexander faced her, resting his arm on the mantel behind him, and began to brush the sleeve of his jacket. “Is this the way you mean to answer it, Hilda?” he asked unsteadily.

Alexander turned to her, leaning his arm on the mantel behind him, and started to smooth down the sleeve of his jacket. “Is this how you plan to respond, Hilda?” he asked hesitantly.

She was afraid to look up at him. “Didn’t—didn’t you mean even to say goodby to me, Bartley? Did you mean just to—quit me?” she asked. “I came to tell you that I’m willing to do as you asked me. But it’s no use talking about that now. Give me my things, please.” She put her hand out toward the fender.

She was scared to look up at him. “Didn’t—didn’t you even mean to say goodbye to me, Bartley? Did you just plan to—leave me?” she asked. “I came to tell you that I’m willing to do what you asked me to. But it’s pointless to talk about that right now. Please, give me my things.” She reached her hand out toward the fender.

Alexander sat down on the arm of her chair. “Did you think I had forgotten you were in town, Hilda? Do you think I kept away by accident? Did you suppose I didn’t know you were sailing on Tuesday? There is a letter for you there, in my desk drawer. It was to have reached you on the steamer. I was all the morning writing it. I told myself that if I were really thinking of you, and not of myself, a letter would be better than nothing. Marks on paper mean something to you.” He paused. “They never did to me.”

Alexander sat down on the arm of her chair. “Did you really think I had forgotten you were in town, Hilda? Do you think I stayed away on purpose? Did you think I didn’t know you were leaving on Tuesday? There’s a letter for you in my desk drawer. It was supposed to reach you on the steamer. I spent all morning writing it. I told myself that if I was truly thinking of you and not just myself, a letter would be better than nothing. Marks on paper mean something to you.” He paused. “They never meant anything to me.”

Hilda smiled up at him beautifully and put her hand on his sleeve. “Oh, Bartley! Did you write to me? Why didn’t you telephone me to let me know that you had? Then I wouldn’t have come.”

Hilda smiled up at him sweetly and placed her hand on his sleeve. “Oh, Bartley! Did you write to me? Why didn’t you call me to let me know you had? Then I wouldn’t have come.”

Alexander slipped his arm about her. “I didn’t know it before, Hilda, on my honor I didn’t, but I believe it was because, deep down in me somewhere, I was hoping I might drive you to do just this. I’ve watched that door all day. I’ve jumped up if the fire crackled. I think I have felt that you were coming.” He bent his face over her hair.

Alexander wrapped his arm around her. “I didn’t realize it before, Hilda, I swear I didn’t, but I think it’s because, somewhere deep inside me, I was secretly hoping you would do exactly this. I’ve been watching that door all day. I’ve jumped up whenever the fire crackled. I really think I felt that you were coming.” He leaned his face over her hair.

“And I,” she whispered,—“I felt that you were feeling that. But when I came, I thought I had been mistaken.”

“And I,” she whispered, “I felt that you were feeling that. But when I arrived, I thought I had been wrong.”

Alexander started up and began to walk up and down the room.

Alexander got up and started pacing back and forth in the room.

“No, you weren’t mistaken. I’ve been up in Canada with my bridge, and I arranged not to come to New York until after you had gone. Then, when your manager added two more weeks, I was already committed.” He dropped upon the stool in front of her and sat with his hands hanging between his knees. “What am I to do, Hilda?”

“No, you weren’t wrong. I’ve been in Canada with my bridge, and I decided not to come to New York until after you had left. Then, when your manager extended the schedule by two more weeks, I was already committed.” He dropped onto the stool in front of her and sat with his hands hanging between his knees. “What should I do, Hilda?”

“That’s what I wanted to see you about, Bartley. I’m going to do what you asked me to do when you were in London. Only I’ll do it more completely. I’m going to marry.”

“That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Bartley. I'm going to do what you asked me to do when you were in London. But I'm going to do it more thoroughly. I'm going to get married.”

“Who?”

“Who’s that?”

“Oh, it doesn’t matter much! One of them. Only not Mac. I’m too fond of him.”

“Oh, it doesn’t really matter! Just one of them. Just not Mac. I care too much about him.”

Alexander moved restlessly. “Are you joking, Hilda?”

Alexander shifted uneasily. “Are you serious, Hilda?”

“Indeed I’m not.”

"Definitely not."

“Then you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Then you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Yes, I know very well. I’ve thought about it a great deal, and I’ve quite decided. I never used to understand how women did things like that, but I know now. It’s because they can’t be at the mercy of the man they love any longer.”

“Yes, I totally get it. I've thought about it a lot, and I've made up my mind. I never used to understand how women could do things like that, but now I do. It's because they can't depend on the man they love any longer.”

Alexander flushed angrily. “So it’s better to be at the mercy of a man you don’t love?”

Alexander flushed with anger. “So it’s better to be at the mercy of someone you don’t love?”

“Under such circumstances, infinitely!”

“Under these circumstances, infinitely!”

There was a flash in her eyes that made Alexander’s fall. He got up and went over to the window, threw it open, and leaned out. He heard Hilda moving about behind him. When he looked over his shoulder she was lacing her boots. He went back and stood over her.

There was a spark in her eyes that caused Alexander to stumble. He got up, walked to the window, threw it open, and leaned out. He heard Hilda moving around behind him. When he glanced back, she was tying her boots. He returned and stood over her.

“Hilda you’d better think a while longer before you do that. I don’t know what I ought to say, but I don’t believe you’d be happy; truly I don’t. Aren’t you trying to frighten me?”

“Hilda, you should probably think a little longer before you do that. I’m not sure what to say, but I really don’t think you’d be happy; honestly, I don't. Are you trying to scare me?”

She tied the knot of the last lacing and put her boot-heel down firmly. “No; I’m telling you what I’ve made up my mind to do. I suppose I would better do it without telling you. But afterward I shan’t have an opportunity to explain, for I shan’t be seeing you again.”

She tied the last lacing and pressed her heel down firmly. “No; I’m telling you what I’ve decided to do. I guess it’s better if I do it without telling you. But afterward, I won’t have a chance to explain, because I won’t be seeing you again.”

Alexander started to speak, but caught himself. When Hilda rose he sat down on the arm of her chair and drew her back into it.

Alexander began to speak but stopped himself. When Hilda got up, he sat down on the arm of her chair and pulled her back into it.

“I wouldn’t be so much alarmed if I didn’t know how utterly reckless you can be. Don’t do anything like that rashly.” His face grew troubled. “You wouldn’t be happy. You are not that kind of woman. I’d never have another hour’s peace if I helped to make you do a thing like that.” He took her face between his hands and looked down into it. “You see, you are different, Hilda. Don’t you know you are?” His voice grew softer, his touch more and more tender. “Some women can do that sort of thing, but you—you can love as queens did, in the old time.”

“I wouldn’t be so alarmed if I didn’t know how completely reckless you can be. Don’t do anything like that on a whim.” His expression turned serious. “You wouldn’t be happy. You’re not that kind of woman. I’d never find peace again if I helped push you into something like that.” He cupped her face in his hands and gazed down at her. “You see, you’re different, Hilda. Don’t you realize that?” His voice softened, his touch becoming increasingly gentle. “Some women can pull off that kind of thing, but you—you can love like queens did in the old days.”

Hilda had heard that soft, deep tone in his voice only once before. She closed her eyes; her lips and eyelids trembled. “Only one, Bartley. Only one. And he threw it back at me a second time.”

Hilda had heard that soft, deep tone in his voice only once before. She closed her eyes; her lips and eyelids trembled. “Just one, Bartley. Just one. And he tossed it back at me a second time.”

She felt the strength leap in the arms that held her so lightly.

She felt the strength surge in the arms that held her so gently.

“Try him again, Hilda. Try him once again.”

“Try him again, Hilda. Give him another shot.”

She looked up into his eyes, and hid her face in her hands.

She looked up into his eyes and covered her face with her hands.

CHAPTER X

On Tuesday afternoon a Boston lawyer, who had been trying a case in Vermont, was standing on the siding at White River Junction when the Canadian Express pulled by on its northward journey. As the day-coaches at the rear end of the long train swept by him, the lawyer noticed at one of the windows a man’s head, with thick rumpled hair. “Curious,” he thought; “that looked like Alexander, but what would he be doing back there in the daycoaches?”

On Tuesday afternoon, a lawyer from Boston, who had been involved in a case in Vermont, was standing on the siding at White River Junction when the Canadian Express passed by on its way north. As the daytime coaches at the back of the long train went by him, the lawyer saw a man's head with thick, messy hair in one of the windows. "That's interesting," he thought; "that looked like Alexander, but what would he be doing back there in the day coaches?"

It was, indeed, Alexander.

It was, for sure, Alexander.

That morning a telegram from Moorlock had reached him, telling him that there was serious trouble with the bridge and that he was needed there at once, so he had caught the first train out of New York. He had taken a seat in a day-coach to avoid the risk of meeting any one he knew, and because he did not wish to be comfortable. When the telegram arrived, Alexander was at his rooms on Tenth Street, packing his bag to go to Boston. On Monday night he had written a long letter to his wife, but when morning came he was afraid to send it, and the letter was still in his pocket. Winifred was not a woman who could bear disappointment. She demanded a great deal of herself and of the people she loved; and she never failed herself. If he told her now, he knew, it would be irretrievable. There would be no going back. He would lose the thing he valued most in the world; he would be destroying himself and his own happiness. There would be nothing for him afterward. He seemed to see himself dragging out a restless existence on the Continent—Cannes, Hyères, Algiers, Cairo—among smartly dressed, disabled men of every nationality; forever going on journeys that led nowhere; hurrying to catch trains that he might just as well miss; getting up in the morning with a great bustle and splashing of water, to begin a day that had no purpose and no meaning; dining late to shorten the night, sleeping late to shorten the day.

That morning, he received a telegram from Moorlock saying there was serious trouble with the bridge and that he needed to get there immediately, so he took the first train out of New York. He chose a seat in a day-coach to avoid running into anyone he knew and because he didn’t want to be comfortable. When the telegram arrived, Alexander was at his apartment on Tenth Street, packing his bag to head to Boston. On Monday night, he had written a long letter to his wife, but when morning came, he was too afraid to send it, so the letter remained in his pocket. Winifred was not someone who could handle disappointment. She expected a lot from herself and from the people she loved, and she always delivered. If he told her now, he knew it would be irreversible. There would be no turning back. He would

And for what? For a mere folly, a masquerade, a little thing that he could not let go. And he could even let it go, he told himself. But he had promised to be in London at mid-summer, and he knew that he would go. . . . It was impossible to live like this any longer.

And for what? For a simple mistake, a charade, a small thing that he couldn’t let go of. And he could totally let it go, he reminded himself. But he had promised to be in London by mid-summer, and he knew he would go. . . . It was impossible to keep living like this any longer.

And this, then, was to be the disaster that his old professor had foreseen for him: the crack in the wall, the crash, the cloud of dust. And he could not understand how it had come about. He felt that he himself was unchanged, that he was still there, the same man he had been five years ago, and that he was sitting stupidly by and letting some resolute offshoot of himself spoil his life for him. This new force was not he, it was but a part of him. He would not even admit that it was stronger than he; but it was more active. It was by its energy that this new feeling got the better of him. His wife was the woman who had made his life, gratified his pride, given direction to his tastes and habits. The life they led together seemed to him beautiful. Winifred still was, as she had always been, Romance for him, and whenever he was deeply stirred he turned to her. When the grandeur and beauty of the world challenged him—as it challenges even the most self-absorbed people—he always answered with her name. That was his reply to the question put by the mountains and the stars; to all the spiritual aspects of life. In his feeling for his wife there was all the tenderness, all the pride, all the devotion of which he was capable. There was everything but energy; the energy of youth which must register itself and cut its name before it passes. This new feeling was so fresh, so unsatisfied and light of foot. It ran and was not wearied, anticipated him everywhere. It put a girdle round the earth while he was going from New York to Moorlock. At this moment, it was tingling through him, exultant, and live as quicksilver, whispering, “In July you will be in England.”

And this was the disaster that his old professor had predicted for him: the crack in the wall, the crash, the cloud of dust. He couldn't understand how it had happened. He felt unchanged, like he was still the same man he had been five years ago, yet here he was, passively letting some determined part of himself ruin his life. This new force wasn’t him; it was just a piece of him. He wouldn’t even admit that it was stronger than he was, but it was more active. It was its energy that overwhelmed him with this new feeling. His wife was the woman who had shaped his life, boosted his pride, and guided his tastes and habits. The life they had together seemed beautiful to him. Winifred was still, as she had always been, his Romance, and whenever he was deeply moved, he turned to her. When the grandeur and beauty of the world challenged him—as they challenge even the most self-absorbed people—he always responded with her name. That was his answer to the questions posed by the mountains and the stars; to all the spiritual aspects of life. In his feelings for his wife, there was all the tenderness, pride, and devotion he was capable of. There was everything except energy; the youthful energy that must leave its mark and make its name before it fades away. This new feeling was so fresh, so unsatisfied, and light on its feet. It was everywhere, never tiring, anticipating him in every moment. It wrapped around the earth while he was traveling from New York to Moorlock. At that moment, it was coursing through him, exhilarated and alive like quicksilver, whispering, “In July you will be in England.”

Already he dreaded the long, empty days at sea, the monotonous Irish coast, the sluggish passage up the Mersey, the flash of the boat train through the summer country. He closed his eyes and gave himself up to the feeling of rapid motion and to swift, terrifying thoughts. He was sitting so, his face shaded by his hand, when the Boston lawyer saw him from the siding at White River Junction.

Already he dreaded the long, empty days at sea, the monotonous Irish coast, the slow passage up the Mersey, the flash of the train through the summer countryside. He closed his eyes and surrendered to the feeling of fast motion and to quick, terrifying thoughts. He was sitting like that, his face shaded by his hand, when the Boston lawyer spotted him from the siding at White River Junction.

When at last Alexander roused himself, the afternoon had waned to sunset. The train was passing through a gray country and the sky overhead was flushed with a wide flood of clear color. There was a rose-colored light over the gray rocks and hills and meadows. Off to the left, under the approach of a weather-stained wooden bridge, a group of boys were sitting around a little fire. The smell of the wood smoke blew in at the window. Except for an old farmer, jogging along the highroad in his box-wagon, there was not another living creature to be seen. Alexander looked back wistfully at the boys, camped on the edge of a little marsh, crouching under their shelter and looking gravely at their fire. They took his mind back a long way, to a campfire on a sandbar in a Western river, and he wished he could go back and sit down with them. He could remember exactly how the world had looked then.

When Alexander finally woke up, the afternoon had turned to sunset. The train was moving through a gray landscape, and the sky above was lit up with a wide wash of clear color. There was a rosy light over the gray rocks, hills, and meadows. To the left, beneath a weathered wooden bridge, a group of boys was gathered around a small fire. The smell of wood smoke drifted in through the window. Other than an old farmer slowly making his way down the road in his box wagon, there was no one else in sight. Alexander glanced back at the boys, who were camping at the edge of a small marsh, huddled under their shelter and seriously watching their fire. They reminded him of a long-ago campfire on a sandbar in a Western river, and he wished he could go back and join them. He could vividly recall how the world had looked back then.

It was quite dark and Alexander was still thinking of the boys, when it occurred to him that the train must be nearing Allway. In going to his new bridge at Moorlock he had always to pass through Allway. The train stopped at Allway Mills, then wound two miles up the river, and then the hollow sound under his feet told Bartley that he was on his first bridge again. The bridge seemed longer than it had ever seemed before, and he was glad when he felt the beat of the wheels on the solid roadbed again. He did not like coming and going across that bridge, or remembering the man who built it. And was he, indeed, the same man who used to walk that bridge at night, promising such things to himself and to the stars? And yet, he could remember it all so well: the quiet hills sleeping in the moonlight, the slender skeleton of the bridge reaching out into the river, and up yonder, alone on the hill, the big white house; upstairs, in Winifred’s window, the light that told him she was still awake and still thinking of him. And after the light went out he walked alone, taking the heavens into his confidence, unable to tear himself away from the white magic of the night, unwilling to sleep because longing was so sweet to him, and because, for the first time since first the hills were hung with moonlight, there was a lover in the world. And always there was the sound of the rushing water underneath, the sound which, more than anything else, meant death; the wearing away of things under the impact of physical forces which men could direct but never circumvent or diminish. Then, in the exaltation of love, more than ever it seemed to him to mean death, the only other thing as strong as love. Under the moon, under the cold, splendid stars, there were only those two things awake and sleepless; death and love, the rushing river and his burning heart.

It was pretty dark, and Alexander was still thinking about the boys when it hit him that the train must be getting close to Allway. To get to his new bridge at Moorlock, he always had to pass through Allway. The train stopped at Allway Mills, then moved two miles up the river, and the hollow sound beneath his feet told Bartley he was back on his first bridge. The bridge seemed longer than it ever had before, and he felt relieved when he sensed the wheels thumping on the solid roadbed again. He didn’t enjoy crossing that bridge or remembering the man who built it. Was he really the same person who used to walk that bridge at night, making promises to himself and to the stars? Yet, he could remember it all so clearly: the quiet hills resting in the moonlight, the slender silhouette of the bridge stretching over the river, and up there on the hill, the big white house; in Winifred’s window, the light that showed him she was still awake and still thinking of him. After that light went out, he walked alone, sharing his thoughts with the heavens, unable to pull himself away from the captivating magic of the night, unwilling to sleep because longing felt so good, and because, for the first time since the hills were washed in moonlight, there was a lover in the world. And always, he could hear the rushing water below, a sound that, more than anything else, signified death; the erosion of things under the force of physical elements that men could steer but never avoid or lessen. Then, in the high of love, it seemed to him that this sound meant death even more, the only other thing as powerful as love. Beneath the moon and the cold, beautiful stars, there were only those two things alive and restless: death and love, the flowing river and his burning heart.

Alexander sat up and looked about him. The train was tearing on through the darkness. All his companions in the day-coach were either dozing or sleeping heavily, and the murky lamps were turned low. How came he here among all these dirty people? Why was he going to London? What did it mean—what was the answer? How could this happen to a man who had lived through that magical spring and summer, and who had felt that the stars themselves were but flaming particles in the far-away infinitudes of his love?

Alexander sat up and looked around. The train was racing through the darkness. All his fellow passengers in the day-coach were either dozing off or sound asleep, and the dim lamps were set low. How did he end up here among all these unkempt people? Why was he heading to London? What did it all mean—what was the answer? How could this happen to someone who had experienced that enchanting spring and summer, and who had felt that the stars themselves were just burning particles in the distant vastness of his love?

What had he done to lose it? How could he endure the baseness of life without it? And with every revolution of the wheels beneath him, the unquiet quicksilver in his breast told him that at midsummer he would be in London. He remembered his last night there: the red foggy darkness, the hungry crowds before the theatres, the hand-organs, the feverish rhythm of the blurred, crowded streets, and the feeling of letting himself go with the crowd. He shuddered and looked about him at the poor unconscious companions of his journey, unkempt and travel-stained, now doubled in unlovely attitudes, who had come to stand to him for the ugliness he had brought into the world.

What had he done to lose it? How could he handle the harshness of life without it? And with every turn of the wheels beneath him, the restless feeling in his chest reminded him that by midsummer he would be in London. He recalled his last night there: the red, foggy darkness, the eager crowds in front of the theaters, the street performers, the frantic pace of the packed, busy streets, and the sensation of going along with the crowd. He shuddered and looked around at the poor, oblivious fellow travelers on his journey, scruffy and weary from traveling, now awkwardly positioned, who seemed to represent the ugliness he had brought into the world.

And those boys back there, beginning it all just as he had begun it; he wished he could promise them better luck. Ah, if one could promise any one better luck, if one could assure a single human being of happiness! He had thought he could do so, once; and it was thinking of that that he at last fell asleep. In his sleep, as if it had nothing fresher to work upon, his mind went back and tortured itself with something years and years away, an old, long-forgotten sorrow of his childhood.

And those boys back there, starting out just like he had; he wished he could promise them better luck. Oh, if only you could promise someone better luck, if only you could guarantee anyone happiness! He had thought he could do that once, and it was that thought that finally lulled him to sleep. In his dreams, as if it had nothing new to focus on, his mind wandered back and tortured itself with an old, long-forgotten sorrow from his childhood that was years and years ago.

When Alexander awoke in the morning, the sun was just rising through pale golden ripples of cloud, and the fresh yellow light was vibrating through the pine woods. The white birches, with their little unfolding leaves, gleamed in the lowlands, and the marsh meadows were already coming to life with their first green, a thin, bright color which had run over them like fire. As the train rushed along the trestles, thousands of wild birds rose screaming into the light. The sky was already a pale blue and of the clearness of crystal. Bartley caught up his bag and hurried through the Pullman coaches until he found the conductor. There was a stateroom unoccupied, and he took it and set about changing his clothes. Last night he would not have believed that anything could be so pleasant as the cold water he dashed over his head and shoulders and the freshness of clean linen on his body.

When Alexander woke up in the morning, the sun was just rising through soft golden clouds, and the fresh yellow light was shimmering through the pine trees. The white birches, with their tiny unfolding leaves, shone in the lowlands, and the marshy meadows were already waking up with their first green, a bright, thin color that spread over them like fire. As the train sped along the trestles, thousands of wild birds soared up, screaming into the light. The sky was a pale blue, clear as crystal. Bartley grabbed his bag and hurried through the Pullman cars until he found the conductor. There was an empty stateroom, so he took it and began changing his clothes. Last night, he wouldn't have believed anything could feel so nice as the cold water he splashed over his head and shoulders and the freshness of clean linen against his skin.

After he had dressed, Alexander sat down at the window and drew into his lungs deep breaths of the pine-scented air. He had awakened with all his old sense of power. He could not believe that things were as bad with him as they had seemed last night, that there was no way to set them entirely right. Even if he went to London at midsummer, what would that mean except that he was a fool? And he had been a fool before. That was not the reality of his life. Yet he knew that he would go to London.

After getting dressed, Alexander sat by the window and took deep breaths of the pine-scented air. He woke up feeling powerful again. He couldn’t believe that his situation was as dire as it had seemed the night before, that there was no way to fix everything completely. Even if he went to London in midsummer, what would that prove other than that he was a fool? And he had been a fool before. That wasn’t the reality of his life. Still, he knew he would go to London.

Half an hour later the train stopped at Moorlock. Alexander sprang to the platform and hurried up the siding, waving to Philip Horton, one of his assistants, who was anxiously looking up at the windows of the coaches. Bartley took his arm and they went together into the station buffet.

Half an hour later, the train stopped at Moorlock. Alexander jumped off onto the platform and rushed up the siding, waving to Philip Horton, one of his assistants, who was nervously looking up at the coaches' windows. Bartley grabbed his arm, and they went together into the station café.

“I’ll have my coffee first, Philip. Have you had yours? And now, what seems to be the matter up here?”

“I’ll have my coffee first, Philip. Have you had yours? Now, what’s going on up here?”

The young man, in a hurried, nervous way, began his explanation.

The young man, looking anxious and rushed, started to explain.

But Alexander cut him short. “When did you stop work?” he asked sharply.

But Alexander interrupted him. “When did you stop working?” he asked sharply.

The young engineer looked confused. “I haven’t stopped work yet, Mr. Alexander. I didn’t feel that I could go so far without definite authorization from you.”

The young engineer looked puzzled. “I haven’t stopped working yet, Mr. Alexander. I didn’t think I could proceed without clear permission from you.”

“Then why didn’t you say in your telegram exactly what you thought, and ask for your authorization? You’d have got it quick enough.”

“Then why didn't you just say in your message exactly what you thought and ask for your approval? You would have gotten it right away.”

“Well, really, Mr. Alexander, I couldn’t be absolutely sure, you know, and I didn’t like to take the responsibility of making it public.”

“Well, honestly, Mr. Alexander, I couldn’t be completely sure, you know, and I didn’t want to take the responsibility of making it public.”

Alexander pushed back his chair and rose. “Anything I do can be made public, Phil. You say that you believe the lower chords are showing strain, and that even the workmen have been talking about it, and yet you’ve gone on adding weight.”

Alexander pushed back his chair and stood up. “Anything I do can become public, Phil. You say you believe the lower chords are under stress and that even the workers have been discussing it, yet you keep adding weight.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Alexander, but I had counted on your getting here yesterday. My first telegram missed you somehow. I sent one Sunday evening, to the same address, but it was returned to me.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Alexander, but I was counting on you getting here yesterday. My first telegram somehow missed you. I sent another one Sunday evening, to the same address, but it got returned to me.”

“Have you a carriage out there? I must stop to send a wire.”

“Do you have a carriage out there? I need to stop to send a message.”

Alexander went up to the telegraph-desk and penciled the following message to his wife:—

Alexander walked up to the telegraph desk and wrote the following message to his wife:—

I may have to be here for some time. Can you come up at once? Urgent.

I might need to be here for a while. Can you come up right away? It's urgent.

BARTLEY.

BARTLEY.

The Moorlock Bridge lay three miles above the town. When they were seated in the carriage, Alexander began to question his assistant further. If it were true that the compression members showed strain, with the bridge only two thirds done, then there was nothing to do but pull the whole structure down and begin over again. Horton kept repeating that he was sure there could be nothing wrong with the estimates.

The Moorlock Bridge was three miles outside of town. Once they settled into the carriage, Alexander started to ask his assistant more questions. If it turned out that the compression members were under strain and the bridge was only two-thirds completed, then they would have no choice but to tear the entire structure down and start over. Horton kept insisting that he was confident there were no issues with the estimates.

Alexander grew impatient. “That’s all true, Phil, but we never were justified in assuming that a scale that was perfectly safe for an ordinary bridge would work with anything of such length. It’s all very well on paper, but it remains to be seen whether it can be done in practice. I should have thrown up the job when they crowded me. It’s all nonsense to try to do what other engineers are doing when you know they’re not sound.”

Alexander grew impatient. “That’s all true, Phil, but we should never have assumed that a scale that was perfectly safe for a regular bridge would work for something this long. It looks good on paper, but we need to see if it actually works in practice. I should have quit the job when they pressured me. It's pointless to try to do what other engineers are doing when you know they’re not reliable.”

“But just now, when there is such competition,” the younger man demurred. “And certainly that’s the new line of development.”

“But right now, with all this competition,” the younger man protested. “And that’s definitely the new direction for growth.”

Alexander shrugged his shoulders and made no reply.

Alexander shrugged and didn't say anything.

When they reached the bridge works, Alexander began his examination immediately. An hour later he sent for the superintendent. “I think you had better stop work out there at once, Dan. I should say that the lower chord here might buckle at any moment. I told the Commission that we were using higher unit stresses than any practice has established, and we’ve put the dead load at a low estimate. Theoretically it worked out well enough, but it had never actually been tried.” Alexander put on his overcoat and took the superintendent by the arm. “Don’t look so chopfallen, Dan. It’s a jolt, but we’ve got to face it. It isn’t the end of the world, you know. Now we’ll go out and call the men off quietly. They’re already nervous, Horton tells me, and there’s no use alarming them. I’ll go with you, and we’ll send the end riveters in first.”

When they got to the bridge construction site, Alexander started his inspection right away. An hour later, he called for the superintendent. “I think you should stop work out there immediately, Dan. The lower chord might buckle at any moment. I informed the Commission that we were using higher unit stresses than any practice has established, and we’ve estimated the dead load on the low side. Theoretically, it looked good enough, but it had never actually been tested.” Alexander put on his overcoat and took the superintendent by the arm. “Don’t look so down, Dan. It’s a setback, but we have to deal with it. It’s not the end of the world, you know. Now let’s go out and quietly call off the workers. They’re already on edge, Horton tells me, and we don’t want to alarm them. I’ll go with you, and we’ll send in the end riveters first.”

Alexander and the superintendent picked their way out slowly over the long span. They went deliberately, stopping to see what each gang was doing, as if they were on an ordinary round of inspection. When they reached the end of the river span, Alexander nodded to the superintendent, who quietly gave an order to the foreman. The men in the end gang picked up their tools and, glancing curiously at each other, started back across the bridge toward the river-bank. Alexander himself remained standing where they had been working, looking about him. It was hard to believe, as he looked back over it, that the whole great span was incurably disabled, was already as good as condemned, because something was out of line in the lower chord of the cantilever arm.

Alexander and the superintendent carefully made their way across the long span. They moved slowly, taking their time to check on what each crew was up to, almost as if they were just doing a routine inspection. When they reached the end of the river span, Alexander nodded to the superintendent, who quietly signaled to the foreman. The workers in the end crew picked up their tools and exchanged curious glances with each other as they headed back across the bridge toward the riverbank. Alexander stayed behind, where they had been working, surveying the area. It was hard to believe, as he looked back at it, that the entire massive span was irreparably damaged, essentially already condemned, just because something was misaligned in the lower chord of the cantilever arm.

The end riveters had reached the bank and were dispersing among the tool-houses, and the second gang had picked up their tools and were starting toward the shore. Alexander, still standing at the end of the river span, saw the lower chord of the cantilever arm give a little, like an elbow bending. He shouted and ran after the second gang, but by this time every one knew that the big river span was slowly settling. There was a burst of shouting that was immediately drowned by the scream and cracking of tearing iron, as all the tension work began to pull asunder. Once the chords began to buckle, there were thousands of tons of ironwork, all riveted together and lying in midair without support. It tore itself to pieces with roaring and grinding and noises that were like the shrieks of a steam whistle. There was no shock of any kind; the bridge had no impetus except from its own weight. It lurched neither to right nor left, but sank almost in a vertical line, snapping and breaking and tearing as it went, because no integral part could bear for an instant the enormous strain loosed upon it. Some of the men jumped and some ran, trying to make the shore.

The end riveters had made it to the bank and were spreading out among the tool sheds, while the second crew had grabbed their tools and were heading toward the shore. Alexander, still standing at the end of the river span, saw the lower chord of the cantilever arm shift a bit, like an elbow bending. He shouted and took off after the second crew, but by then everyone knew that the big river span was slowly sinking. A roar of shouting erupted, quickly drowned out by the screech and crack of tearing metal as the tension work started to break apart. Once the chords began to buckle, thousands of tons of ironwork, all riveted together and suspended in midair, started to rip itself apart with deafening roars and grinding sounds that resembled the wails of a steam whistle. There was no shock at all; the bridge only moved due to its own weight. It didn’t lurch to the right or left, but sank almost straight down, snapping and tearing as it went, because no single part could withstand the immense strain suddenly placed on it. Some of the men jumped while others ran, trying to reach the shore.

At the first shriek of the tearing iron, Alexander jumped from the downstream side of the bridge. He struck the water without injury and disappeared. He was under the river a long time and had great difficulty in holding his breath. When it seemed impossible, and his chest was about to heave, he thought he heard his wife telling him that he could hold out a little longer. An instant later his face cleared the water. For a moment, in the depths of the river, he had realized what it would mean to die a hypocrite, and to lie dead under the last abandonment of her tenderness. But once in the light and air, he knew he should live to tell her and to recover all he had lost. Now, at last, he felt sure of himself. He was not startled. It seemed to him that he had been through something of this sort before. There was nothing horrible about it. This, too, was life, and life was activity, just as it was in Boston or in London. He was himself, and there was something to be done; everything seemed perfectly natural. Alexander was a strong swimmer, but he had gone scarcely a dozen strokes when the bridge itself, which had been settling faster and faster, crashed into the water behind him. Immediately the river was full of drowning men. A gang of French Canadians fell almost on top of him. He thought he had cleared them, when they began coming up all around him, clutching at him and at each other. Some of them could swim, but they were either hurt or crazed with fright. Alexander tried to beat them off, but there were too many of them. One caught him about the neck, another gripped him about the middle, and they went down together. When he sank, his wife seemed to be there in the water beside him, telling him to keep his head, that if he could hold out the men would drown and release him. There was something he wanted to tell his wife, but he could not think clearly for the roaring in his ears. Suddenly he remembered what it was. He caught his breath, and then she let him go.

At the first sound of the metal tearing, Alexander jumped from the downstream side of the bridge. He hit the water without injury and disappeared. He was underwater for a long time and struggled to hold his breath. When it seemed impossible, and his chest was about to burst, he thought he heard his wife telling him that he could hang on a little longer. An instant later, his face broke the surface. For a moment, in the depths of the river, he realized what it would mean to die a hypocrite and to lie dead beneath the last traces of her affection. But once he was in the light and air, he knew he would live to tell her and regain everything he had lost. Now, at last, he felt confident. He was not afraid. It seemed to him that he had experienced something like this before. There was nothing terrifying about it. This, too, was life, and life was about action, just like it was in Boston or London. He was himself, and there was something to be done; everything felt completely normal. Alexander was a strong swimmer, but he had barely taken a dozen strokes when the bridge itself, which had been collapsing faster and faster, crashed into the water behind him. Suddenly, the river was filled with drowning men. A group of French Canadians fell almost on top of him. He thought he had gotten past them when they started coming up all around him, grabbing at him and each other. Some of them could swim, but they were either injured or panicking. Alexander tried to push them away, but there were too many. One grabbed him by the neck, another clutched him around the waist, and they went down together. As he sank, his wife seemed to be there in the water beside him, telling him to keep his cool, that if he could hold on, the men would drown and let him go. There was something he wanted to tell his wife, but he couldn’t think clearly over the roaring in his ears. Then he suddenly remembered what it was. He took a breath, and then she let him go.

The work of recovering the dead went on all day and all the following night. By the next morning forty-eight bodies had been taken out of the river, but there were still twenty missing. Many of the men had fallen with the bridge and were held down under the debris. Early on the morning of the second day a closed carriage was driven slowly along the river-bank and stopped a little below the works, where the river boiled and churned about the great iron carcass which lay in a straight line two thirds across it. The carriage stood there hour after hour, and word soon spread among the crowds on the shore that its occupant was the wife of the Chief Engineer; his body had not yet been found. The widows of the lost workmen, moving up and down the bank with shawls over their heads, some of them carrying babies, looked at the rusty hired hack many times that morning. They drew near it and walked about it, but none of them ventured to peer within. Even half-indifferent sightseers dropped their voices as they told a newcomer: “You see that carriage over there? That’s Mrs. Alexander. They haven’t found him yet. She got off the train this morning. Horton met her. She heard it in Boston yesterday—heard the newsboys crying it in the street.”

The work of recovering the dead continued all day and into the night. By the next morning, they had pulled out forty-eight bodies from the river, but twenty were still missing. Many of the men had fallen with the bridge and were trapped under the debris. Early on the second day, a closed carriage was driven slowly along the riverbank and stopped just below the work site, where the river was boiling and churning around the large iron wreckage that lay two-thirds across it. The carriage remained there hour after hour, and word quickly spread among the crowds on the shore that the person inside was the wife of the Chief Engineer; they hadn’t found his body yet. The widows of the lost workers, walking up and down the bank with shawls on their heads, some carrying babies, looked at the rusty hired carriage many times that morning. They approached it and walked around it, but none of them dared to peek inside. Even the half-indifferent onlookers lowered their voices as they explained to newcomers: “You see that carriage over there? That’s Mrs. Alexander. They haven’t found him yet. She got off the train this morning. Horton met her. She heard the news in Boston yesterday—heard the newsboys shouting it in the street.”

At noon Philip Horton made his way through the crowd with a tray and a tin coffee-pot from the camp kitchen. When he reached the carriage he found Mrs. Alexander just as he had left her in the early morning, leaning forward a little, with her hand on the lowered window, looking at the river. Hour after hour she had been watching the water, the lonely, useless stone towers, and the convulsed mass of iron wreckage over which the angry river continually spat up its yellow foam.

At noon, Philip Horton navigated through the crowd with a tray and a tin coffee pot from the camp kitchen. When he reached the carriage, he found Mrs. Alexander just as he had left her that morning, leaning slightly forward, with her hand on the lowered window, gazing at the river. Hour after hour, she had been watching the water, the lonely, useless stone towers, and the twisted mass of iron wreckage that the angry river constantly spat up with its yellow foam.

“Those poor women out there, do they blame him very much?” she asked, as she handed the coffee-cup back to Horton.

“Do those poor women out there blame him a lot?” she asked as she handed the coffee cup back to Horton.

“Nobody blames him, Mrs. Alexander. If any one is to blame, I’m afraid it’s I. I should have stopped work before he came. He said so as soon as I met him. I tried to get him here a day earlier, but my telegram missed him, somehow. He didn’t have time really to explain to me. If he’d got here Monday, he’d have had all the men off at once. But, you see, Mrs. Alexander, such a thing never happened before. According to all human calculations, it simply couldn’t happen.”

“Nobody blames him, Mrs. Alexander. If there's anyone to blame, it’s me. I should have wrapped up work before he arrived. He mentioned that as soon as I saw him. I tried to bring him here a day earlier, but my telegram somehow didn’t reach him. He didn’t really have time to explain everything to me. If he’d arrived on Monday, he would have had all the men off right away. But, you see, Mrs. Alexander, something like this has never happened before. By all human estimates, it just couldn’t happen.”

Horton leaned wearily against the front wheel of the cab. He had not had his clothes off for thirty hours, and the stimulus of violent excitement was beginning to wear off.

Horton leaned tiredly against the front wheel of the cab. He hadn't changed his clothes in thirty hours, and the rush of intense excitement was starting to fade.

“Don’t be afraid to tell me the worst, Mr. Horton. Don’t leave me to the dread of finding out things that people may be saying. If he is blamed, if he needs any one to speak for him,”—for the first time her voice broke and a flush of life, tearful, painful, and confused, swept over her rigid pallor,—“if he needs any one, tell me, show me what to do.” She began to sob, and Horton hurried away.

“Don’t be afraid to tell me the worst, Mr. Horton. Don’t leave me in suspense about what others might be saying. If he is at fault, if he needs someone to speak up for him,”—for the first time, her voice faltered and a wave of emotion, tearful, painful, and confused, washed over her previously pale face,—“if he needs anyone, tell me, show me what to do.” She started to sob, and Horton quickly left.

When he came back at four o’clock in the afternoon he was carrying his hat in his hand, and Winifred knew as soon as she saw him that they had found Bartley. She opened the carriage door before he reached her and stepped to the ground.

When he returned at four in the afternoon, he was holding his hat, and Winifred immediately knew they had found Bartley. She opened the carriage door before he got to her and stepped down.

Horton put out his hand as if to hold her back and spoke pleadingly: “Won’t you drive up to my house, Mrs. Alexander? They will take him up there.”

Horton reached out his hand as if to stop her and said earnestly: “Will you come to my house, Mrs. Alexander? They can take him there.”

“Take me to him now, please. I shall not make any trouble.”

“Take me to him now, please. I won’t cause any trouble.”

The group of men down under the riverbank fell back when they saw a woman coming, and one of them threw a tarpaulin over the stretcher. They took off their hats and caps as Winifred approached, and although she had pulled her veil down over her face they did not look up at her. She was taller than Horton, and some of the men thought she was the tallest woman they had ever seen. “As tall as himself,” some one whispered. Horton motioned to the men, and six of them lifted the stretcher and began to carry it up the embankment. Winifred followed them the half-mile to Horton’s house. She walked quietly, without once breaking or stumbling. When the bearers put the stretcher down in Horton’s spare bedroom, she thanked them and gave her hand to each in turn. The men went out of the house and through the yard with their caps in their hands. They were too much confused to say anything as they went down the hill.

The group of men by the riverbank stepped back when they saw a woman approaching, and one of them covered the stretcher with a tarpaulin. They removed their hats and caps as Winifred walked closer, and even though she had pulled her veil down over her face, they didn’t look up at her. She was taller than Horton, and some of the men thought she was the tallest woman they had ever seen. “As tall as him,” someone whispered. Horton signaled to the men, and six of them picked up the stretcher and began to carry it up the embankment. Winifred followed them for half a mile to Horton’s house. She walked quietly, without stumbling or tripping. When the bearers set the stretcher down in Horton’s spare bedroom, she thanked them and shook hands with each of them in turn. The men exited the house and walked through the yard with their caps in hand. They were too confused to say anything as they made their way down the hill.

Horton himself was almost as deeply perplexed. “Mamie,” he said to his wife, when he came out of the spare room half an hour later, “will you take Mrs. Alexander the things she needs? She is going to do everything herself. Just stay about where you can hear her and go in if she wants you.”

Horton himself was almost just as confused. “Mamie,” he said to his wife when he came out of the spare room half an hour later, “could you take Mrs. Alexander the things she needs? She's going to handle everything herself. Just stay close enough to hear her and go in if she needs you.”

Everything happened as Alexander had foreseen in that moment of prescience under the river. With her own hands she washed him clean of every mark of disaster. All night he was alone with her in the still house, his great head lying deep in the pillow. In the pocket of his coat Winifred found the letter that he had written her the night before he left New York, water-soaked and illegible, but because of its length, she knew it had been meant for her.

Everything unfolded just as Alexander had predicted in that moment of insight under the river. With her own hands, she washed away every trace of disaster from him. All night, he was alone with her in the quiet house, his large head sinking deep into the pillow. In the pocket of his coat, Winifred found the letter he had written to her the night before he left New York, waterlogged and impossible to read, but because of its length, she knew it was meant for her.

For Alexander death was an easy creditor. Fortune, which had smiled upon him consistently all his life, did not desert him in the end. His harshest critics did not doubt that, had he lived, he would have retrieved himself. Even Lucius Wilson did not see in this accident the disaster he had once foretold.

For Alexander, death was an easy creditor. Fortune, which had consistently smiled on him throughout his life, did not abandon him in the end. His harshest critics didn't doubt that, had he lived, he would have turned things around. Even Lucius Wilson didn’t view this accident as the disaster he had once predicted.

When a great man dies in his prime there is no surgeon who can say whether he did well; whether or not the future was his, as it seemed to be. The mind that society had come to regard as a powerful and reliable machine, dedicated to its service, may for a long time have been sick within itself and bent upon its own destruction.

When a great man dies young, no doctor can say if he lived his life well or if the future was truly his, as it appeared to be. The mind that society saw as a strong and dependable asset, devoted to its benefit, might have actually been suffering internally and on a path to self-destruction for a long time.

EPILOGUE

Professor Wilson had been living in London for six years and he was just back from a visit to America. One afternoon, soon after his return, he put on his frock-coat and drove in a hansom to pay a call upon Hilda Burgoyne, who still lived at her old number, off Bedford Square. He and Miss Burgoyne had been fast friends for a long time. He had first noticed her about the corridors of the British Museum, where he read constantly. Her being there so often had made him feel that he would like to know her, and as she was not an inaccessible person, an introduction was not difficult. The preliminaries once over, they came to depend a great deal upon each other, and Wilson, after his day’s reading, often went round to Bedford Square for his tea. They had much more in common than their memories of a common friend. Indeed, they seldom spoke of him. They saved that for the deep moments which do not come often, and then their talk of him was mostly silence. Wilson knew that Hilda had loved him; more than this he had not tried to know.

Professor Wilson had been living in London for six years, and he had just returned from a trip to America. One afternoon, shortly after getting back, he put on his coat and took a cab to visit Hilda Burgoyne, who still lived at her old place near Bedford Square. He and Miss Burgoyne had been good friends for a long time. He first noticed her wandering around the British Museum, where he spent a lot of time reading. Seeing her there so often made him want to get to know her, and since she was a friendly person, an introduction was easy. Once the formalities were done, they came to rely on each other a lot, and Wilson often stopped by Bedford Square for tea after his reading. They had much more in common than just memories of a mutual friend. In fact, they rarely talked about him. They reserved those conversations for the rare, meaningful moments, and when they did discuss him, most of it was in silence. Wilson knew that Hilda had loved him, but he didn’t try to dig deeper than that.

It was late when Wilson reached Hilda’s apartment on this particular December afternoon, and he found her alone. She sent for fresh tea and made him comfortable, as she had such a knack of making people comfortable.

It was late when Wilson arrived at Hilda’s apartment on that December afternoon, and he found her by herself. She ordered fresh tea and made him comfortable, as she had a real talent for putting people at ease.

“How good you were to come back before Christmas! I quite dreaded the Holidays without you. You’ve helped me over a good many Christmases.” She smiled at him gayly.

“How great of you to come back before Christmas! I really dreaded the Holidays without you. You’ve been there for me through a lot of Christmases.” She smiled at him cheerfully.

“As if you needed me for that! But, at any rate, I needed you. How well you are looking, my dear, and how rested.”

“As if you needed me for that! But, anyway, I needed you. You look great, my dear, and so refreshed.”

He peered up at her from his low chair, balancing the tips of his long fingers together in a judicial manner which had grown on him with years.

He looked up at her from his low chair, balancing the tips of his long fingers together in a thoughtful way that he had developed over the years.

Hilda laughed as she carefully poured his cream. “That means that I was looking very seedy at the end of the season, doesn’t it? Well, we must show wear at last, you know.”

Hilda laughed as she carefully poured his cream. “So that means I was looking pretty worn out by the end of the season, right? Well, we have to show some signs of aging eventually, you know.”

Wilson took the cup gratefully. “Ah, no need to remind a man of seventy, who has just been home to find that he has survived all his contemporaries. I was most gently treated—as a sort of precious relic. But, do you know, it made me feel awkward to be hanging about still.”

Wilson took the cup gratefully. “Ah, no need to remind a seventy-year-old man, who has just come back to find that he has outlived all his peers. I was treated gently—more like a cherished relic. But, you know, it made me feel uncomfortable still being around.”

“Seventy? Never mention it to me.” Hilda looked appreciatively at the Professor’s alert face, with so many kindly lines about the mouth and so many quizzical ones about the eyes. “You’ve got to hang about for me, you know. I can’t even let you go home again. You must stay put, now that I have you back. You’re the realest thing I have.”

“Seventy? Don’t ever bring it up.” Hilda glanced at the Professor’s lively face, marked with so many warm lines around the mouth and so many curious ones around the eyes. “You have to stick around for me, you know. I can’t even let you go home again. You have to stay right here, now that I have you back. You’re the most genuine thing I have.”

Wilson chuckled. “Dear me, am I? Out of so many conquests and the spoils of conquered cities! You’ve really missed me? Well, then, I shall hang. Even if you have at last to put ME in the mummy-room with the others. You’ll visit me often, won’t you?”

Wilson chuckled. “Really? Out of all those victories and the treasures from conquered cities! You actually missed me? Well, in that case, I’ll stay. Even if you eventually have to put ME in the mummy room with the others. You’ll come to see me often, right?”

“Every day in the calendar. Here, your cigarettes are in this drawer, where you left them.” She struck a match and lit one for him. “But you did, after all, enjoy being at home again?”

“Every day on the calendar. Your cigarettes are in this drawer, where you left them.” She struck a match and lit one for him. “But you did, after all, like being at home again?”

“Oh, yes. I found the long railway journeys trying. People live a thousand miles apart. But I did it thoroughly; I was all over the place. It was in Boston I lingered longest.”

“Oh, yes. I found the long train journeys exhausting. People are a thousand miles apart. But I really explored; I went everywhere. I stayed the longest in Boston.”

“Ah, you saw Mrs. Alexander?”

"Did you see Mrs. Alexander?"

“Often. I dined with her, and had tea there a dozen different times, I should think. Indeed, it was to see her that I lingered on and on. I found that I still loved to go to the house. It always seemed as if Bartley were there, somehow, and that at any moment one might hear his heavy tramp on the stairs. Do you know, I kept feeling that he must be up in his study.” The Professor looked reflectively into the grate. “I should really have liked to go up there. That was where I had my last long talk with him. But Mrs. Alexander never suggested it.”

“Honestly, I had dinner with her and had tea there probably a dozen times. In fact, I stuck around just to see her. I realized I still loved visiting the house. It always felt like Bartley was there in some way, and that at any moment, I’d hear his heavy footsteps on the stairs. You know, I couldn’t shake the feeling that he must be up in his study.” The Professor gazed thoughtfully into the fireplace. “I would have really liked to go up there. That’s where I had my last long conversation with him. But Mrs. Alexander never brought it up.”

“Why?”

“Why?”

Wilson was a little startled by her tone, and he turned his head so quickly that his cuff-link caught the string of his nose-glasses and pulled them awry. “Why? Why, dear me, I don’t know. She probably never thought of it.”

Wilson was a bit taken aback by her tone, and he turned his head so fast that his cufflink snagged the string of his glasses and knocked them askew. “Why? Oh dear, I have no idea. She probably never even considered it.”

Hilda bit her lip. “I don’t know what made me say that. I didn’t mean to interrupt. Go on please, and tell me how it was.”

Hilda bit her lip. “I don’t know why I said that. I didn’t mean to interrupt. Please, keep going and tell me how it was.”

“Well, it was like that. Almost as if he were there. In a way, he really is there. She never lets him go. It’s the most beautiful and dignified sorrow I’ve ever known. It’s so beautiful that it has its compensations, I should think. Its very completeness is a compensation. It gives her a fixed star to steer by. She doesn’t drift. We sat there evening after evening in the quiet of that magically haunted room, and watched the sunset burn on the river, and felt him. Felt him with a difference, of course.”

“Well, it was like that. Almost as if he were there. In a way, he really is there. She never lets him go. It’s the most beautiful and dignified sorrow I’ve ever known. It’s so beautiful that it has its own rewards, I guess. Its very completeness is a reward. It gives her a fixed star to navigate by. She doesn’t drift. We sat there night after night in the quiet of that magically haunted room, and watched the sunset glow on the river, and felt him. Felt him differently, of course.”

Hilda leaned forward, her elbow on her knee, her chin on her hand. “With a difference? Because of her, you mean?”

Hilda leaned forward, resting her elbow on her knee and her chin on her hand. “What do you mean, ‘with a difference’? Because of her, right?”

Wilson’s brow wrinkled. “Something like that, yes. Of course, as time goes on, to her he becomes more and more their simple personal relation.”

Wilson frowned. “Something like that, yes. Of course, as time goes on, he becomes more and more just her simple personal connection.”

Hilda studied the droop of the Professor’s head intently. “You didn’t altogether like that? You felt it wasn’t wholly fair to him?”

Hilda watched the Professor’s head droop closely. “You didn’t really like that? You thought it wasn’t completely fair to him?”

Wilson shook himself and readjusted his glasses. “Oh, fair enough. More than fair. Of course, I always felt that my image of him was just a little different from hers. No relation is so complete that it can hold absolutely all of a person. And I liked him just as he was; his deviations, too; the places where he didn’t square.”

Wilson shook himself and adjusted his glasses. “Oh, that’s reasonable. More than reasonable. Honestly, I always thought my view of him was a bit different from hers. No relationship is so complete that it can capture every aspect of a person. And I liked him just the way he was; his quirks, too; the ways he didn’t fit.”

Hilda considered vaguely. “Has she grown much older?” she asked at last.

Hilda thought for a moment. “Has she aged a lot?” she finally asked.

“Yes, and no. In a tragic way she is even handsomer. But colder. Cold for everything but him. ‘Forget thyself to marble’; I kept thinking of that. Her happiness was a happiness à deux, not apart from the world, but actually against it. And now her grief is like that. She saves herself for it and doesn’t even go through the form of seeing people much. I’m sorry. It would be better for her, and might be so good for them, if she could let other people in.”

“Yes, and no. In a tragic way, she’s even more beautiful. But she’s colder. Cold to everything except him. ‘Forget yourself to marble’; I kept thinking about that. Her happiness was a happiness à deux, not separate from the world, but actually opposed to it. And now her grief is like that. She holds onto it and doesn’t even bother with the usual interactions with people much. I’m sorry. It would be better for her, and might be really good for them, if she could open up to others.”

“Perhaps she’s afraid of letting him out a little, of sharing him with somebody.”

“Maybe she’s scared of letting him go a bit, of sharing him with someone else.”

Wilson put down his cup and looked up with vague alarm. “Dear me, it takes a woman to think of that, now! I don’t, you know, think we ought to be hard on her. More, even, than the rest of us she didn’t choose her destiny. She underwent it. And it has left her chilled. As to her not wishing to take the world into her confidence—well, it is a pretty brutal and stupid world, after all, you know.”

Wilson set down his cup and looked up with a hint of worry. “Wow, it really takes a woman to come up with that! I don’t think we should be too hard on her. More than any of us, she never chose her fate. She just had to deal with it. And it’s left her feeling cold. As for her not wanting to share her thoughts with the world—well, this world can be pretty harsh and stupid, you know.”

Hilda leaned forward. “Yes, I know, I know. Only I can’t help being glad that there was something for him even in stupid and vulgar people. My little Marie worshiped him. When she is dusting I always know when she has come to his picture.”

Hilda leaned forward. “Yes, I get it, I get it. It's just that I can't help feeling glad there was something for him even among these silly and crass people. My little Marie idolized him. Whenever she's dusting, I can always tell when she gets to his picture.”

Wilson nodded. “Oh, yes! He left an echo. The ripples go on in all of us. He belonged to the people who make the play, and most of us are only onlookers at the best. We shouldn’t wonder too much at Mrs. Alexander. She must feel how useless it would be to stir about, that she may as well sit still; that nothing can happen to her after Bartley.”

Wilson nodded. “Oh, yes! He left an impact. The effects continue in all of us. He was part of the people who create the story, while most of us are just spectators at best. We shouldn’t be too surprised by Mrs. Alexander. She must understand how pointless it would be to get involved, that she might as well stay still; that nothing can change for her now that Bartley is gone.”

“Yes,” said Hilda softly, “nothing can happen to one after Bartley.”

“Yes,” Hilda said quietly, “nothing can happen to anyone after Bartley.”

They both sat looking into the fire.

They both sat staring at the fire.


THE BARREL ORGAN by Alfred Noyes

    There’s a barrel-organ caroling across a golden street,
    In the City as the sun sinks low;
And the music’s not immortal; but the world has made it sweet
    And fulfilled it with the sunset glow;
And it pulses through the pleasures of the City and the pain
    That surround the singing organ like a large eternal light;
And they’ve given it a glory and a part to play again
    In the Symphony that rules the day and the night.

And now it’s marching onward through the realms of old romance,
    And trolling out a fond familiar tune,
And now it’s roaring cannon down to fight the King of France,
    And now it’s prattling softly to the moon,
And all around the organ there’s a sea without a shore
    Of human joys and wonders and regrets;
To remember and to recompense the music evermore
    For what the cold machinery forgets. . . .

Yes; as the music changes,
    Like a prismatic glass,
It takes the light and ranges
    Through all the moods that pass;
Dissects the common carnival
    Of passions and regrets,
And gives the world a glimpse of all
    The colors it forgets.

And there La Traviata sights
    Another sadder song;
And there Il Trovatore cries
    A tale of deeper wrong;
And bolder knights to battle go
    With sword and shield and lance,
Than ever here on earth below
    Have whirled into—a dance!

Go down to Kew in lilac time; in lilac time; in lilac time;
Go down to Kew in lilac time; (it isn’t far from London!)
And you shall wander hand in hand with love in summer’s wonderland;
Go down to Kew in lilac time; (it isn’t far from London!)

The cherry-trees are seas of bloom and soft perfume and sweet perfume,
The cherry-trees are seas of bloom (and oh, so near to London!)
And there they say, when dawn is high and all the world’s a blaze of sky
The cuckoo, though he’s very shy, will sing a song for London.

The nightingale is rather rare and yet they say you’ll hear him there
At Kew, at Kew in lilac time (and oh, so near to London!)
The linnet and the throstle, too, and after dark the long halloo
And golden-eyed tu-whit, tu whoo of owls that ogle London.

For Noah hardly knew a bird of any kind that isn’t heard
At Kew, at Kew in lilac time (and oh, so near to London!)
And when the rose begins to pout and all the chestnut spires are out
You’ll hear the rest without a doubt, all chorusing for London:—

Come down to Kew in lilac time; in lilac time; in lilac time;
    Come down to Kew in lilac time;
(it isn’t far from London!)
And you shall wander hand in hand with love in summer’s wonderland;
    Come down to Kew in lilac time;
(it isn’t far from London!)

And then the troubadour begins to thrill the golden street,
    In the City as the sun sinks low;
And in all the gaudy busses there are scores of weary feet
Marking time, sweet time, with a dull mechanic beat,
And a thousand hearts are plunging to a love they’ll never meet,
Through the meadows of the sunset, through the poppies and the wheat,
    In the land where the dead dreams go.

Verdi, Verdi, when you wrote Il Trovatore did you dream
    Of the City when the sun sinks low
Of the organ and the monkey and the many-colored stream
On the Piccadilly pavement, of the myriad eyes that seem
To be litten for a moment with a wild Italian gleam
As A che la morte parodies the world’s eternal theme
    And pulses with the sunset glow?

There’s a thief, perhaps, that listens with a face of frozen stone
    In the City as the sun sinks low;
There’s a portly man of business with a balance of his own,
There’s a clerk and there’s a butcher of a soft reposeful tone,
And they’re all them returning to the heavens they have known:
They are crammed and jammed in busses and—they’re each of them alone
    In the land where the dead dreams go.

There’s a very modish woman and her smile is very bland
    In the City as the sun sinks low;
And her hansom jingles onward, but her little jeweled hand
Is clenched a little tighter and she cannot understand
What she wants or why she wanders to that undiscovered land,
For the parties there are not at all the sort of thing she planned,
    In the land where the dead dreams go.

There’s an Oxford man that listens and his heart is crying out
    In the City as the sun sinks low;
For the barge the eight, the Isis, and the coach’s whoop and shout,
For the minute gun, the counting and the long disheveled rout,
For the howl along the tow-path and a fate that’s still in doubt,
For a roughened oar to handle and a race to think about
    In the land where the dead dreams go.

There’s a laborer that listen to the voices of the dead
    In the City as the sun sinks low;
And his hand begins to tremble and his face is rather red
As he sees a loafer watching him and—there he turns his head
And stares into the sunset where his April love is fled,
For he hears her softly singing and his lonely soul is led
    Through the land where the dead dreams go.

There’s and old and hardened demi-rep, it’s ringing in her ears,
    In the City as the sun sinks low;
With the wild and empty sorrow of the love that blights and sears,
Oh, and if she hurries onward, then be sure, be sure she hears,
Hears and bears the bitter burden of the unforgotten years,
And her laugh’s a little harsher and her eyes are brimmed with tears
    For the land where the dead dreams go.

There’s a barrel-organ caroling across a golden street,
    In the City as the sun sinks low;
Though the music’s only Verdi there’s a world to make it sweet
Just as yonder yellow sunset where the earth and heaven meet
Mellows all the sooty City! Hark, a hundred thousand feet
Are marching on to glory through the poppies and the wheat
    In the land where the dead dreams go.

        So it’s Jeremiah, Jeremiah,
            What have you to say
        When you meet the garland girls
            Tripping on their way?

        All around my gala hat
            I wear a wreath of roses
        (A long and lonely year it is
            I’ve waited for the May!)

        If any one should ask you,
            The reason why I wear it is,
        My own love, my true love, is coming home to-day.

It’s buy a bunch of violets for the lady
    (It’s lilac time in London; it’s lilac time in London!)
Buy a bunch of violets for the lady;
    While the sky burns blue above:

On the other side of the street you’ll find it shady
    (It’s lilac time in London; it’s lilac time in London!)
But buy a bunch of violets for the lady;
    And tell her she’s your own true love.

There’s a barrel-organ caroling across a golden street,
    In the City as the sun sinks glittering and slow;
And the music’s not immortal, but the world has made it sweet
And enriched it with the harmonies that make a song complete
In the deeper heavens of music where the night and morning meet,
    As it dies into the sunset glow;

And it pulses through the pleasures of the City and the pain
    That surround the singing organ like a large eternal light,
And they’ve given it a glory and a part of play again
    In the Symphony that rules the day and night.

        And there, as the music changes,
            The song runs round again;
        Once more it turns and ranges
            Through all its joy and pain:
        Dissects the common carnival
            Of passions and regrets;
        And the wheeling world remembers all
            The wheeling song forgets.

        Once more La Traviata sighs
            Another sadder song:
        Once more Il Trovatore cries
            A tale of deeper wrong;
        Once more the knights to battle go
            With sword and shield and lance,
        Till once, once more, the shattered foe
            Has whirled into—a dance!

Come down to Kew in lilac time; in lilac time; in lilac time;
    Come down to Kew in lilac time;
(it isn’t far from London!)
And you shall wander hand in hand with love in summer’s wonderland;
    Come down to Kew in lilac time;
(it isn’t far from London!)

There’s a barrel organ playing carols on a golden street,
    In the City as the sun sets low;
And the music isn’t timeless, but the world has made it sweet
    And filled it with the glow of sunset;
And it flows through the joys of the City and the pain
    That surrounds the singing organ like a large eternal light;
And they’ve given it a glory and a role to play again
    In the Symphony that governs day and night.

And now it’s moving onward through the lands of old romance,
    And playing a well-loved tune,
And now it’s sounding cannon to fight the King of France,
    And now it’s whispering softly to the moon,
And all around the organ there’s a sea without a shore
    Of human joys and wonders and regrets;
To remember and to repay the music forever more
    For what the cold machinery forgets...

Yes; as the music shifts,
    Like a prism,
It captures the light and moves
    Through all the moods that change;
It breaks down the ordinary festival
    Of passions and regrets,
And gives the world a glimpse of all
    The colors it forgets.

And there La Traviata introduces
    Another sadder song;
And there Il Trovatore wails
    A tale of deeper wrong;
And braver knights head to battle
    With sword, shield, and lance,
Than anyone here on earth below
    Has ever turned into—a dance!

Go down to Kew in lilac time; in lilac time; in lilac time;
Go down to Kew in lilac time; (it’s not far from London!)
And you’ll wander hand in hand with love in summer’s wonderland;
Go down to Kew in lilac time; (it’s not far from London!)

The cherry trees are seas of blooms and soft perfume,
The cherry trees are seas of blooms (and oh, so close to London!)
And they say, when dawn is bright and the world’s a blaze of sky
The cuckoo, though he’s quite shy, will sing a song for London.

The nightingale is rather rare, yet they say you’ll hear him there
At Kew, at Kew in lilac time (and oh, so near to London!)
The linnet and the thrush, too, and after dark the long call
And golden-eyed tu-whit, tu-whoo of owls that watch London.

For Noah hardly knew a bird of any type that isn't heard
At Kew, at Kew in lilac time (and oh, so close to London!)
And when the rose begins to bloom and all the chestnut spires are out
You’ll hear the rest without a doubt, all singing for London:—

Come down to Kew in lilac time; in lilac time; in lilac time;
    Come down to Kew in lilac time;
(it’s not far from London!)
And you’ll wander hand in hand with love in summer’s wonderland;
    Come down to Kew in lilac time;
(it’s not far from London!)

And then the troubadour begins to thrill the golden street,
    In the City as the sun sets low;
And in all the bright buses, there are many weary feet
Keeping time, sweet time, with a dull mechanical beat,
And a thousand hearts are rushing towards a love they’ll never find,
Through the fields of the sunset, through the poppies and the wheat,
    In the land where dead dreams go.

Verdi, Verdi, when you wrote Il Trovatore did you dream
    Of the City when the sun sets low
Of the organ and the monkey and the brightly colored stream
On the Piccadilly pavement, of the countless eyes that seem
To be lit for a moment with a wild Italian gleam
As A che la morte parodies the world’s eternal theme
    And pulses with the sunset glow?

There’s a thief, perhaps, that listens with a face of frozen stone
    In the City as the sun sets low;
There’s a chubby businessman with his own balance to keep,
There’s a clerk and there’s a butcher in a soft relaxed tone,
And they’re all returning to the heavens they have known:
They are packed in buses and—they’re each alone
    In the land where dead dreams go.

There’s a very fashionable woman, her smile is very bland
    In the City as the sun sets low;
And her cab keeps moving, but her little jeweled hand
Is clenched a bit tighter and she cannot understand
What she wants or why she wanders to that unfamiliar land,
For the parties there aren’t at all what she had planned,
    In the land where dead dreams go.

There’s an Oxford man that listens and his heart is crying out
    In the City as the sun sets low;
For the barge, the eight, the Isis, and the coach’s whoop and shout,
For the minute gun, the counting and the long disheveled crowd,
For the howl along the towpath and a fate that’s still unclear,
For a roughened oar to grip and a race to think about
    In the land where dead dreams go.

There’s a laborer who listens to the voices of the dead
    In the City as the sun sets low;
And his hand starts to tremble and his face is pretty red
As he sees a loafer watching him and—he turns his head
And stares into the sunset where his April love has fled,
For he hears her softly singing and his lonely soul is led
    Through the land where dead dreams go.

There’s an old and hardened woman, it’s ringing in her ears,
    In the City as the sun sets low;
With the wild and empty sorrow of the love that blights and sears,
Oh, and if she hurries on, you can be sure she hears,
Hears and endures the bitter burden of the unforgotten years,
And her laugh’s a bit harsher and her eyes are full of tears
    For the land where dead dreams go.

There’s a barrel organ playing carols on a golden street,
    In the City as the sun sets glittering and slow;
And though the music is just Verdi, there’s a world to make it sweet
Just like that yellow sunset where earth and heaven meet
Mellows all the smoky City! Hark, a hundred thousand feet
Are marching on to glory through the poppies and the wheat
    In the land where dead dreams go.

        So it’s Jeremiah, Jeremiah,
            What have you to say
        When you meet the garland girls
            Tripping on their way?

        All around my gala hat
            I wear a wreath of roses
        (A long and lonely year it is
            I’ve waited for the May!)

        If anyone should ask you,
            The reason why I wear it is,
        My own love, my true love, is coming home today.

It’s buy a bunch of violets for the lady
    (It’s lilac time in London; it’s lilac time in London!)
Buy a bunch of violets for the lady;
    While the sky burns blue above:

On the other side of the street you’ll find it shady
    (It’s lilac time in London; it’s lilac time in London!)
But buy a bunch of violets for the lady;
    And tell her she’s your own true love.

There’s a barrel organ playing carols on a golden street,
    In the City as the sun sets sparkling and slow;
And the music isn’t eternal, but the world has made it sweet
And enhanced it with the harmonies that make a song complete
In the profound heavens of music where night and morning meet,
    As it fades into the sunset glow;

And it flows through the joys of the City and the pain
    That surrounds the singing organ like a large eternal light,
And they’ve given it a glory and a role to play again
    In the Symphony that rules day and night.

        And there, as the music changes,
            The song runs around again;
        Once more it turns and flows
            Through all its joy and pain:
        It breaks down the ordinary celebration
            Of passions and regrets;
        And the spinning world remembers all
            The spinning song forgets.

        Once more La Traviata sighs
            Another sadder song:
        Once more Il Trovatore cries
            A tale of deeper wrong;
        Once more, the knights go to battle
            With sword and shield and lance,
        Until once again, the shattered foe
            Has whirled into—a dance!

Come down to Kew in lilac time; in lilac time; in lilac time;
    Come down to Kew in lilac time;
(it’s not far from London!)
And you’ll wander hand in hand with love in summer’s wonderland;
    Come down to Kew in lilac time;
(it’s not far from London!)


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