This is a modern-English version of The Torrents of Spring, originally written by Turgenev, Ivan Sergeevich.
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and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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The Torrents of Spring
by Ivan Turgenev
Translated from the Russian
Translated from Russian
BY CONSTANCE GARNETT
1897
1897
Contents
THE TORRENTS OF SPRING |
FIRST LOVE |
MUMU |
THE TORRENTS OF SPRING
“Years of gladness,
Days of joy,
Like the torrents of spring
They hurried away.”
—From an Old Ballad.
“Years of happiness,
Days of delight,
Like the rushing streams of spring
They quickly faded.”
—From an Old Ballad.
… At two o’clock in the night he had gone back to his study. He had dismissed the servant after the candles were lighted, and throwing himself into a low chair by the hearth, he hid his face in both hands.
… At two o’clock in the morning, he went back to his study. He had sent the servant away after lighting the candles, and collapsing into a low chair by the fireplace, he covered his face with both hands.
Never had he felt such weariness of body and of spirit. He had passed the whole evening in the company of charming ladies and cultivated men; some of the ladies were beautiful, almost all the men were distinguished by intellect or talent; he himself had talked with great success, even with brilliance … and, for all that, never yet had the taedium vitae of which the Romans talked of old, the “disgust for life,” taken hold of him with such irresistible, such suffocating force. Had he been a little younger, he would have cried with misery, weariness, and exasperation: a biting, burning bitterness, like the bitter of wormwood, filled his whole soul. A sort of clinging repugnance, a weight of loathing closed in upon him on all sides like a dark night of autumn; and he did not know how to get free from this darkness, this bitterness. Sleep it was useless to reckon upon; he knew he should not sleep.
He had never felt such exhaustion of both body and spirit. He spent the entire evening surrounded by charming women and cultured men; some of the women were beautiful, and almost all the men stood out for their intelligence or talent. He himself had conversed with great success, even with brilliance… and yet, he had never experienced the taedium vitae that the Romans once spoke of, the “disgust for life,” with such an irresistible, suffocating force. If he had been a bit younger, he would have cried out in misery, fatigue, and frustration: a harsh, burning bitterness, like the taste of wormwood, filled his entire soul. A sort of stifling repulsion, a weight of disgust closed in around him like a dark autumn night; and he had no idea how to escape this darkness, this bitterness. Count on sleep was pointless; he knew he wouldn’t sleep.
He fell to thinking … slowly, listlessly, wrathfully. He thought of the vanity, the uselessness, the vulgar falsity of all things human. All the stages of man’s life passed in order before his mental gaze (he had himself lately reached his fifty-second year), and not one found grace in his eyes. Everywhere the same ever-lasting pouring of water into a sieve, the ever-lasting beating of the air, everywhere the same self-deception—half in good faith, half conscious—any toy to amuse the child, so long as it keeps him from crying. And then, all of a sudden, old age drops down like snow on the head, and with it the ever-growing, ever-gnawing, and devouring dread of death … and the plunge into the abyss! Lucky indeed if life works out so to the end! May be, before the end, like rust on iron, sufferings, infirmities come…. He did not picture life’s sea, as the poets depict it, covered with tempestuous waves; no, he thought of that sea as a smooth, untroubled surface, stagnant and transparent to its darkest depths. He himself sits in a little tottering boat, and down below in those dark oozy depths, like prodigious fishes, he can just make out the shapes of hideous monsters: all the ills of life, diseases, sorrows, madness, poverty, blindness…. He gazes, and behold, one of these monsters separates itself off from the darkness, rises higher and higher, stands out more and more distinct, more and more loathsomely distinct…. An instant yet, and the boat that bears him will be overturned! But behold, it grows dim again, it withdraws, sinks down to the bottom, and there it lies, faintly stirring in the slime…. But the fated day will come, and it will overturn the boat.
He fell into deep thought … slowly, aimlessly, angrily. He considered the vanity, the uselessness, the blatant falsehood of all things human. All the stages of man's life flashed before him (he had just turned fifty-two), and he found none of them appealing. Everywhere he saw the same endless pouring of water into a sieve, the constant beating of air, the same self-deception—half genuine, half aware—any toy to keep the child entertained, as long as it stops him from crying. Then, suddenly, old age descends like snow on a person's head, bringing with it a growing, gnawing, consuming fear of death … and the plunge into the abyss! It would be lucky indeed if life holds together until the end! Perhaps, before the end, like rust on iron, suffering and frailty will come… He didn’t picture life’s sea as the poets do, filled with stormy waves; no, he imagined that sea as a calm, still surface, stagnant and clear down to its darkest depths. He himself sat in a little unsteady boat, and below in those dark, murky depths, like giant fish, he could barely make out the shapes of terrible monsters: all the ills of life, diseases, sorrows, madness, poverty, blindness… He looked closer, and suddenly one of these monsters broke free from the darkness, rising higher and higher, becoming more and more distinct, more and more grotesquely clear… Just a moment more, and the boat he’s in will be capsized! But look, it fades again, retreats, sinks back to the bottom, where it stirs faintly in the sludge… Yet the destined day will come, and that monster will overturn the boat.
He shook his head, jumped up from his low chair, took two turns up and down the room, sat down to the writing-table, and opening one drawer after another, began to rummage among his papers, among old letters, mostly from women. He could not have said why he was doing it; he was not looking for anything—he simply wanted by some kind of external occupation to get away from the thoughts oppressing him. Opening several letters at random (in one of them there was a withered flower tied with a bit of faded ribbon), he merely shrugged his shoulders, and glancing at the hearth, he tossed them on one side, probably with the idea of burning all this useless rubbish. Hurriedly, thrusting his hands first into one, and then into another drawer, he suddenly opened his eyes wide, and slowly bringing out a little octagonal box of old-fashioned make, he slowly raised its lid. In the box, under two layers of cotton wool, yellow with age, was a little garnet cross.
He shook his head, jumped up from his low chair, paced back and forth in the room a couple of times, sat down at the writing table, and started rummaging through his papers and old letters, mostly from women. He couldn't really say why he was doing it; he wasn't looking for anything—he just needed some distraction to escape the heavy thoughts weighing him down. He opened several letters at random (one of them had a withered flower tied with a faded ribbon), shrugged his shoulders, and glanced at the hearth before tossing them aside, probably planning to burn all this useless junk. Hastily, he shoved his hands into one drawer and then another until he suddenly opened his eyes wide. Slowly, he pulled out a little octagonal box of old-fashioned design and lifted the lid. Inside, beneath two layers of yellowed cotton wool, was a small garnet cross.
For a few instants he looked in perplexity at this cross—suddenly he gave a faint cry…. Something between regret and delight was expressed in his features. Such an expression a man’s face wears when he suddenly meets some one whom he has long lost sight of, whom he has at one time tenderly loved, and who suddenly springs up before his eyes, still the same, and utterly transformed by the years.
For a few moments, he looked at the cross in confusion—then he let out a soft cry... His face showed a mix of regret and happiness. It was the kind of look someone has when they unexpectedly run into a long-lost friend, someone they once cared for deeply, who suddenly appears before them, still recognizable but completely changed by time.
He got up, and going back to the hearth, he sat down again in the arm-chair, and again hid his face in his hands…. “Why to-day? just to-day?” was his thought, and he remembered many things, long since past.
He got up, and going back to the fireplace, he sat down again in the armchair, and once more hid his face in his hands.... “Why today? Just today?” was his thought, and he recalled many things from long ago.
This is what he remembered….
This is what he recalled….
But first I must mention his name, his father’s name and his surname. He was called Dimitri Pavlovitch Sanin.
But first, I need to mention his name, his father's name, and his last name. He was called Dimitri Pavlovitch Sanin.
Here follows what he remembered.
Here’s what he recalled.
I
It was the summer of 1840. Sanin was in his twenty-second year, and he was in Frankfort on his way home from Italy to Russia. He was a man of small property, but independent, almost without family ties. By the death of a distant relative, he had come into a few thousand roubles, and he had decided to spend this sum abroad before entering the service, before finally putting on the government yoke, without which he could not obtain a secure livelihood. Sanin had carried out this intention, and had fitted things in to such a nicety that on the day of his arrival in Frankfort he had only just enough money left to take him back to Petersburg. In the year 1840 there were few railroads in existence; tourists travelled by diligence. Sanin had taken a place in the “bei-wagon”; but the diligence did not start till eleven o’clock in the evening. There was a great deal of time to be got through before then. Fortunately it was lovely weather, and Sanin after dining at a hotel, famous in those days, the White Swan, set off to stroll about the town. He went in to look at Danneker’s Ariadne, which he did not much care for, visited the house of Goethe, of whose works he had, however, only read Werter, and that in the French translation. He walked along the bank of the Maine, and was bored as a well-conducted tourist should be; at last at six o’clock in the evening, tired, and with dusty boots, he found himself in one of the least remarkable streets in Frankfort. That street he was fated not to forget long, long after. On one of its few houses he saw a signboard: “Giovanni Roselli, Italian confectionery,” was announced upon it. Sanin went into it to get a glass of lemonade; but in the shop, where, behind the modest counter, on the shelves of a stained cupboard, recalling a chemist’s shop, stood a few bottles with gold labels, and as many glass jars of biscuits, chocolate cakes, and sweetmeats—in this room, there was not a soul; only a grey cat blinked and purred, sharpening its claws on a tall wicker chair near the window and a bright patch of colour was made in the evening sunlight, by a big ball of red wool lying on the floor beside a carved wooden basket turned upside down. A confused noise was audible in the next room. Sanin stood a moment, and making the bell on the door ring its loudest, he called, raising his voice, “Is there no one here?” At that instant the door from an inner room was thrown open, and Sanin was struck dumb with amazement.
It was the summer of 1840. Sanin was twenty-two years old, and he was in Frankfort on his way home from Italy to Russia. He had a small fortune but was independent, almost entirely without family ties. After the death of a distant relative, he inherited a few thousand roubles and decided to spend this money abroad before taking up a government job, which he needed to secure a stable living. Sanin managed to carry out this plan so well that by the day he arrived in Frankfort, he only had just enough money left to return to Petersburg. In 1840, there were few railroads, and tourists traveled by stagecoach. Sanin had booked a spot in the “bei-wagon,” but the coach didn’t leave until eleven o'clock in the evening. There was a lot of time to kill before then. Fortunately, the weather was lovely, and after dining at a famous hotel of the time, the White Swan, Sanin set off to explore the town. He stopped to see Danneker’s Ariadne, which he didn’t really care for, and visited Goethe's house, though he had only read Werter, and that in French. He strolled along the bank of the Maine and felt bored like a typical tourist; finally, around six o'clock in the evening, tired and with dusty boots, he found himself on one of the least remarkable streets in Frankfort. That street would stick in his memory for a long time. On one of its few houses, he saw a signboard: “Giovanni Roselli, Italian Confectionery.” Sanin went inside to get a glass of lemonade, but in the shop, where behind the modest counter a few bottles with gold labels and glass jars filled with biscuits, chocolate cakes, and sweets sat on shelves resembling a chemist’s shop—there was not a soul; only a gray cat blinked and purred, sharpening its claws on a tall wicker chair near the window, and a bright splash of color was created by a big ball of red wool lying on the floor next to an upside-down carved wooden basket. A muffled noise could be heard from the next room. Sanin paused for a moment, rang the doorbell loudly, and called out, raising his voice, “Is anyone here?” At that instant, the door to an inner room swung open, and Sanin was left speechless with amazement.
II
A young girl of nineteen ran impetuously into the shop, her dark curls hanging in disorder on her bare shoulders, her bare arms stretched out in front of her. Seeing Sanin, she rushed up to him at once, seized him by the hand, and pulled him after her, saying in a breathless voice, “Quick, quick, here, save him!” Not through disinclination to obey, but simply from excess of amazement, Sanin did not at once follow the girl. He stood, as it were, rooted to the spot; he had never in his life seen such a beautiful creature. She turned towards him, and with such despair in her voice, in her eyes, in the gesture of her clenched hand, which was lifted with a spasmodic movement to her pale cheek, she articulated, “Come, come!” that he at once darted after her to the open door.
A young girl of nineteen rushed impulsively into the shop, her dark curls messily cascading over her bare shoulders, her bare arms stretched out in front of her. Spotting Sanin, she rushed up to him immediately, grabbed his hand, and pulled him along, saying in a breathless voice, “Hurry, hurry, over here, save him!” Not because he didn’t want to follow, but simply out of sheer astonishment, Sanin didn’t move right away. He stood there, as if frozen in place; he had never seen such a stunning person in his life. She turned toward him, and with so much despair in her voice, in her eyes, and in the gesture of her clenched hand, which she lifted with a sudden movement to her pale cheek, she said, “Come, come!” and he instantly dashed after her to the open door.
In the room, into which he ran behind the girl, on an old-fashioned horse-hair sofa, lay a boy of fourteen, white all over—white, with a yellowish tinge like wax or old marble—he was strikingly like the girl, obviously her brother. His eyes were closed, a patch of shadow fell from his thick black hair on a forehead like stone, and delicate, motionless eyebrows; between the blue lips could be seen clenched teeth. He seemed not to be breathing; one arm hung down to the floor, the other he had tossed above his head. The boy was dressed, and his clothes were closely buttoned; a tight cravat was twisted round his neck.
In the room where he dashed in after the girl, there was a boy of fourteen lying on an old horsehair sofa, completely pale—white with a yellowish tint like wax or old marble—he looked very much like the girl, clearly her brother. His eyes were shut, a shadow from his thick black hair fell across his stone-like forehead, and his delicate, still eyebrows rested above blue lips that revealed clenched teeth. He appeared not to be breathing; one arm hung down to the floor, while the other was flung above his head. The boy was dressed in clothes that were tightly buttoned, and a snug cravat was twisted around his neck.
The girl rushed up to him with a wail of distress. “He is dead, he is dead!” she cried; “he was sitting here just now, talking to me—and all of a sudden he fell down and became rigid…. My God! can nothing be done to help him? And mamma not here! Pantaleone, Pantaleone, the doctor!” she went on suddenly in Italian. “Have you been for the doctor?”
The girl ran up to him, crying out in distress. “He’s dead, he’s dead!” she exclaimed; “he was sitting here just a moment ago, talking to me—and suddenly he collapsed and went stiff…. My God! Is there nothing that can be done to help him? And Mom isn’t here! Pantaleone, Pantaleone, the doctor!” she suddenly added in Italian. “Have you called for the doctor?”
“Signora, I did not go, I sent Luise,” said a hoarse voice at the door, and a little bandy-legged old man came hobbling into the room in a lavender frock coat with black buttons, a high white cravat, short nankeen trousers, and blue worsted stockings. His diminutive little face was positively lost in a mass of iron-grey hair. Standing up in all directions, and falling back in ragged tufts, it gave the old man’s figure a resemblance to a crested hen—a resemblance the more striking, that under the dark-grey mass nothing could be distinguished but a beak nose and round yellow eyes.
“Ma'am, I didn’t go; I sent Luise,” said a hoarse voice at the door, and a little old man with crooked legs hobbled into the room wearing a lavender frock coat with black buttons, a high white cravat, short nankeen trousers, and blue wool stockings. His tiny face was completely hidden in a tangle of iron-grey hair. Sticking out in all directions and falling back in ragged clumps, it made the old man look a bit like a crested hen—a resemblance that was more striking because, under the dark-grey mass, the only features visible were a beaky nose and round yellow eyes.
“Luise will run fast, and I can’t run,” the old man went on in Italian, dragging his flat gouty feet, shod in high slippers with knots of ribbon. “I’ve brought some water.”
“Luise will run fast, and I can’t run,” the old man continued in Italian, dragging his flat gouty feet, which were in high slippers with ribbon knots. “I’ve brought some water.”
In his withered, knotted fingers, he clutched a long bottle neck.
In his gnarled, twisted fingers, he held tightly onto a long bottle neck.
“But meanwhile Emil will die!” cried the girl, and holding out her hand to Sanin, “O, sir, O mein Herr! can’t you do something for him?”
“But meanwhile Emil will die!” cried the girl, and reaching out her hand to Sanin, “Oh, sir, oh mein Herr! Can’t you do something for him?”
“He ought to be bled—it’s an apoplectic fit,” observed the old man addressed as Pantaleone.
“He should be bled—it’s a stroke,” said the old man known as Pantaleone.
Though Sanin had not the slightest notion of medicine, he knew one thing for certain, that boys of fourteen do not have apoplectic fits.
Though Sanin had no idea about medicine, he knew one thing for sure: boys of fourteen don’t have strokes.
“It’s a swoon, not a fit,” he said, turning to Pantaleone. “Have you got any brushes?”
“It’s a faint, not a seizure,” he said, turning to Pantaleone. “Do you have any brushes?”
The old man raised his little face. “Eh?”
The old man lifted his small face. “Huh?”
“Brushes, brushes,” repeated Sanin in German and in French. “Brushes,” he added, making as though he would brush his clothes.
“Brushes, brushes,” Sanin repeated in German and French. “Brushes,” he added, pretending to brush off his clothes.
The little old man understood him at last.
The old man finally understood him.
“Ah, brushes! Spazzette! to be sure we have!”
“Ah, brushes! Spazzette! We definitely have them!”
“Bring them here; we will take off his coat and try rubbing him.”
"Bring them here; we will take off his coat and try rubbing him."
“Good … Benone! And ought we not to sprinkle water on his head?”
“Good … Benone! Shouldn't we sprinkle some water on his head?”
“No … later on; get the brushes now as quick as you can.”
“No … later on; grab the brushes now as fast as you can.”
Pantaleone put the bottle on the floor, ran out and returned at once with two brushes, one a hair-brush, and one a clothes-brush. A curly poodle followed him in, and vigorously wagging its tail, it looked up inquisitively at the old man, the girl, and even Sanin, as though it wanted to know what was the meaning of all this fuss.
Pantaleone set the bottle down on the floor, dashed out, and immediately came back with two brushes: one for hair and one for clothes. A curly poodle trailed behind him, wagging its tail excitedly and looking curiously up at the old man, the girl, and even Sanin, as if it wanted to understand what all the commotion was about.
Sanin quickly took the boy’s coat off, unbuttoned his collar, and pushed up his shirt-sleeves, and arming himself with a brush, he began brushing his chest and arms with all his might. Pantaleone as zealously brushed away with the other—the hair-brush—at his boots and trousers. The girl flung herself on her knees by the sofa, and, clutching her head in both hands, fastened her eyes, not an eyelash quivering, on her brother.
Sanin quickly took off the boy's coat, unbuttoned his collar, and rolled up his shirt sleeves. Grabbing a brush, he started vigorously brushing the boy's chest and arms. Pantaleone eagerly brushed the boots and trousers with a hairbrush. The girl dropped to her knees by the sofa, clutching her head with both hands, fixating her gaze, not even blinking, on her brother.
Sanin rubbed on, and kept stealing glances at her. Mercy! what a beautiful creature she was!
Sanin kept going, stealing glances at her. Wow! What a beautiful creature she was!
III
Her nose was rather large, but handsome, aquiline-shaped; her upper lip was shaded by a light down; but then the colour of her face, smooth, uniform, like ivory or very pale milky amber, the wavering shimmer of her hair, like that of the Judith of Allorio in the Palazzo-Pitti; and above all, her eyes, dark-grey, with a black ring round the pupils, splendid, triumphant eyes, even now, when terror and distress dimmed their lustre…. Sanin could not help recalling the marvellous country he had just come from…. But even in Italy he had never met anything like her! The girl drew slow, uneven breaths; she seemed between each breath to be waiting to see whether her brother would not begin to breathe.
Her nose was quite large, but attractive, with an eagle-like shape; her upper lip had a light fuzz on it; but the color of her skin was smooth and even, like ivory or very pale milky amber, and her hair shimmered like that of Judith from Allorio in the Palazzo Pitti; and most of all, her eyes, dark grey with a black ring around the pupils, were magnificent, shining eyes, even now, when fear and distress dulled their brightness.... Sanin couldn’t help but remember the amazing country he had just come from.... But even in Italy, he had never seen anyone like her! The girl took slow, uneven breaths; it seemed like she was pausing between breaths, waiting to see if her brother would start breathing again.
Sanin went on rubbing him, but he did not only watch the girl. The original figure of Pantaleone drew his attention too. The old man was quite exhausted and panting; at every movement of the brush he hopped up and down and groaned noisily, while his immense tufts of hair, soaked with perspiration, flapped heavily from side to side, like the roots of some strong plant, torn up by the water.
Sanin kept rubbing him, but he wasn’t just watching the girl. The original figure of Pantaleone caught his attention too. The old man was really worn out and panting; with every brushstroke, he bounced up and down and groaned loudly, while his huge tufts of hair, drenched in sweat, flopped heavily from side to side, like the roots of a strong plant pulled up by the water.
“You’d better, at least, take off his boots,” Sanin was just saying to him.
"You should at least take off his boots," Sanin was just telling him.
The poodle, probably excited by the unusualness of all the proceedings, suddenly sank on to its front paws and began barking.
The poodle, likely excited by the unusual happenings, suddenly dropped onto its front paws and started barking.
“Tartaglia—canaglia!” the old man hissed at it. But at that instant the girl’s face was transformed. Her eyebrows rose, her eyes grew wider, and shone with joy.
“Tartaglia—canaglia!” the old man hissed at it. But at that moment, the girl’s face lit up. Her eyebrows went up, her eyes widened, and sparkled with joy.
Sanin looked round … A flush had over-spread the lad’s face; his eyelids stirred … his nostrils twitched. He drew in a breath through his still clenched teeth, sighed….
Sanin looked around … A flush had spread across the boy’s face; his eyelids fluttered … his nostrils quivered. He inhaled through his still clenched teeth, sighed….
“Emil!” cried the girl … “Emilio mio!”
“Emil!” yelled the girl … “My Emilio!”
Slowly the big black eyes opened. They still had a dazed look, but already smiled faintly; the same faint smile hovered on his pale lips. Then he moved the arm that hung down, and laid it on his chest.
Slowly, the big black eyes opened. They still looked a bit dazed, but a faint smile already crossed his face; the same faint smile lingered on his pale lips. Then he moved the arm that was hanging down and placed it on his chest.
“Emilio!” repeated the girl, and she got up. The expression on her face was so tense and vivid, that it seemed that in an instant either she would burst into tears or break into laughter.
“Emilio!” the girl called again as she stood up. The look on her face was so intense and alive that it felt like she might either start crying or burst out laughing at any moment.
“Emil! what is it? Emil!” was heard outside, and a neatly-dressed lady with silvery grey hair and a dark face came with rapid steps into the room.
“Emil! What’s going on? Emil!” was heard outside, and a well-dressed woman with silvery gray hair and a dark complexion walked hurriedly into the room.
A middle-aged man followed her; the head of a maid-servant was visible over their shoulders.
A middle-aged man followed her; the head of a maid was visible over their shoulders.
The girl ran to meet them.
The girl ran to catch up with them.
“He is saved, mother, he is alive!” she cried, impulsively embracing the lady who had just entered.
“He’s safe, Mom, he’s alive!” she exclaimed, hugging the woman who had just walked in.
“But what is it?” she repeated. “I come back … and all of a sudden I meet the doctor and Luise …”
“But what is it?” she repeated. “I come back … and all of a sudden I run into the doctor and Luise …”
The girl proceeded to explain what had happened, while the doctor went up to the invalid who was coming more and more to himself, and was still smiling: he seemed to be beginning to feel shy at the commotion he had caused.
The girl went on to explain what had happened, while the doctor approached the patient, who was becoming more aware and was still smiling; he seemed to be starting to feel embarrassed about the fuss he had caused.
“You’ve been using friction with brushes, I see,” said the doctor to Sanin and Pantaleone, “and you did very well…. A very good idea … and now let us see what further measures …”
“You’ve been using friction with brushes, I see,” said the doctor to Sanin and Pantaleone, “and you did very well…. A great idea … and now let’s see what other steps we can take …”
He felt the youth’s pulse. “H’m! show me your tongue!”
He checked the young man's pulse. "Hmm! Let me see your tongue!"
The lady bent anxiously over him. He smiled still more ingenuously, raised his eyes to her, and blushed a little.
The woman leaned anxiously over him. He smiled even more sincerely, looked up at her, and blushed a bit.
It struck Sanin that he was no longer wanted; he went into the shop. But before he had time to touch the handle of the street-door, the girl was once more before him; she stopped him.
It occurred to Sanin that he was no longer needed; he entered the shop. But before he could reach for the door handle, the girl appeared in front of him again; she halted him.
“You are going,” she began, looking warmly into his face; “I will not keep you, but you must be sure to come to see us this evening: we are so indebted to you—you, perhaps, saved my brother’s life, we want to thank you—mother wants to. You must tell us who you are, you must rejoice with us …”
“You’re leaving,” she said, gazing warmly into his face. “I won’t stop you, but you have to promise to come visit us this evening. We owe you so much—you might have saved my brother’s life, and we want to thank you—my mom wants to. You have to tell us who you are; you have to celebrate with us…”
“But I am leaving for Berlin to-day,” Sanin faltered out.
“But I’m leaving for Berlin today,” Sanin stammered.
“You will have time though,” the girl rejoined eagerly. “Come to us in an hour’s time to drink a cup of chocolate with us. You promise? I must go back to him! You will come?”
“You’ll have time, though,” the girl replied eagerly. “Join us in an hour for a cup of hot chocolate. You promise? I have to go back to him! You’ll come?”
What could Sanin do?
What could Sanin do?
“I will come,” he replied.
"I'll come," he replied.
The beautiful girl pressed his hand, fluttered away, and he found himself in the street.
The beautiful girl squeezed his hand, dashed away, and he found himself on the street.
IV
When Sanin, an hour and a half later, returned to the Rosellis’ shop he was received there like one of the family. Emilio was sitting on the same sofa, on which he had been rubbed; the doctor had prescribed him medicine and recommended “great discretion in avoiding strong emotions” as being a subject of nervous temperament with a tendency to weakness of the heart. He had previously been liable to fainting-fits; but never had he lost consciousness so completely and for so long. However, the doctor declared that all danger was over. Emil, as was only suitable for an invalid, was dressed in a comfortable dressing-gown; his mother wound a blue woollen wrap round his neck; but he had a cheerful, almost a festive air; indeed everything had a festive air. Before the sofa, on a round table, covered with a clean cloth, towered a huge china coffee-pot, filled with fragrant chocolate, and encircled by cups, decanters of liqueur, biscuits and rolls, and even flowers; six slender wax candles were burning in two old-fashioned silver chandeliers; on one side of the sofa, a comfortable lounge-chair offered its soft embraces, and in this chair they made Sanin sit. All the inhabitants of the confectioner’s shop, with whom he had made acquaintance that day, were present, not excluding the poodle, Tartaglia, and the cat; they all seemed happy beyond expression; the poodle positively sneezed with delight, only the cat was coy and blinked sleepily as before. They made Sanin tell them who he was, where he came from, and what was his name; when he said he was a Russian, both the ladies were a little surprised, uttered ejaculations of wonder, and declared with one voice that he spoke German splendidly; but if he preferred to speak French, he might make use of that language, as they both understood it and spoke it well. Sanin at once availed himself of this suggestion. “Sanin! Sanin!” The ladies would never have expected that a Russian surname could be so easy to pronounce. His Christian name—“Dimitri”—they liked very much too. The elder lady observed that in her youth she had heard a fine opera—“Demetrio e Polibio”—but that “Dimitri” was much nicer than “Demetrio.” In this way Sanin talked for about an hour. The ladies on their side initiated him into all the details of their own life. The talking was mostly done by the mother, the lady with grey hair. Sanin learnt from her that her name was Leonora Roselli; that she had lost her husband, Giovanni Battista Roselli, who had settled in Frankfort as a confectioner twenty-five years ago; that Giovanni Battista had come from Vicenza and had been a most excellent, though fiery and irascible man, and a republican withal! At those words Signora Roselli pointed to his portrait, painted in oil-colours, and hanging over the sofa. It must be presumed that the painter, “also a republican!” as Signora Roselli observed with a sigh, had not fully succeeded in catching a likeness, for in his portrait the late Giovanni Battista appeared as a morose and gloomy brigand, after the style of Rinaldo Rinaldini! Signora Roselli herself had come from “the ancient and splendid city of Parma where there is the wonderful cupola, painted by the immortal Correggio!” But from her long residence in Germany she had become almost completely Germanised. Then she added, mournfully shaking her head, that all she had left was this daughter and this son (pointing to each in turn with her finger); that the daughter’s name was Gemma, and the son’s Emilio; that they were both very good and obedient children—especially Emilio … (“Me not obedient!” her daughter put in at that point. “Oh, you’re a republican, too!” answered her mother). That the business, of course, was not what it had been in the days of her husband, who had a great gift for the confectionery line … (“Un grand uomo!” Pantaleone confirmed with a severe air); but that still, thank God, they managed to get along!
When Sanin returned to the Roselli’s shop an hour and a half later, he was welcomed like a member of the family. Emilio was sitting on the same sofa where he had been pampered; the doctor had prescribed him medicine and advised him to “be careful to avoid strong emotions” since he was naturally nervous and had a tendency toward heart issues. He had previously had fainting spells, but he had never lost consciousness so completely and for so long. However, the doctor said all danger was gone. Emil, suited for an invalid, was dressed in a comfortable robe while his mother wrapped a blue wool scarf around his neck; he had a cheerful, almost festive vibe, and everything around had a festive atmosphere. In front of the sofa, on a round table covered with a clean cloth, stood a huge china coffee pot filled with fragrant chocolate, surrounded by cups, decanters of liqueur, biscuits, rolls, and even flowers; six slender wax candles were lit in two old-fashioned silver chandeliers. To one side of the sofa, a cozy lounge chair welcomed Sanin, and they urged him to sit there. All the people from the confectioner's shop he had met that day were present, including the poodle, Tartaglia, and the cat; they all seemed incredibly happy; the poodle even sneezed with delight, while the cat remained coy, blinking sleepily as before. They asked Sanin to tell them about himself, where he was from, and his name; when he said he was Russian, both ladies were a little surprised, exclaimed in wonder, and stated together that he spoke German beautifully, but if he preferred to speak French, he could use that as they both understood and spoke it well. Sanin immediately took them up on this suggestion. “Sanin! Sanin!” The ladies hadn’t expected a Russian surname to be so easy to pronounce. They also really liked his first name—“Dimitri.” The older lady remarked that in her youth she had heard a lovely opera—“Demetrio e Polibio”—but that “Dimitri” was much nicer than “Demetrio.” In this way, Sanin chatted for about an hour. The ladies shared all the details of their lives. Most of the talking came from the mother, the woman with gray hair. Sanin learned from her that her name was Leonora Roselli, that she had lost her husband, Giovanni Battista Roselli, who had settled in Frankfurt as a confectioner twenty-five years ago; that Giovanni Battista had come from Vicenza and had been an excellent, though fiery and irritable man, and a republican to boot! At those words, Signora Roselli pointed to his portrait, painted in oil, hanging over the sofa. It seemed the painter, “also a republican!” as Signora Roselli sighed, hadn’t quite captured a likeness, for in his portrait the late Giovanni Battista appeared as a gloomy and sullen brigand, reminiscent of Rinaldo Rinaldini! Signora Roselli herself hailed from “the ancient and splendid city of Parma where there is the marvelous dome painted by the immortal Correggio!” But after so long living in Germany, she had become almost entirely Germanized. Then she added, sadly shaking her head, that all she had left was this daughter and this son (pointing to each in turn); that the daughter’s name was Gemma and the son’s Emilio; that they were both very good and obedient children—especially Emilio … (“Me not obedient!” her daughter chimed in. “Oh, you’re a republican too!” replied her mother). She stated that the business was certainly not what it had been during her husband’s time, who had been incredibly skilled in the confectionery business … (“Un grand uomo!” Pantaleone confirmed with a serious expression); but that, thankfully, they managed to get by!
V
Gemma listened to her mother, and at one minute laughed, then sighed, then patted her on the shoulder, and shook her finger at her, and then looked at Sanin; at last, she got up, embraced her mother and kissed her in the hollow of her neck, which made the latter laugh extremely and shriek a little. Pantaleone too was presented to Sanin. It appeared he had once been an opera singer, a baritone, but had long ago given up the theatre, and occupied in the Roselli family a position between that of a family friend and a servant. In spite of his prolonged residence in Germany, he had learnt very little German, and only knew how to swear in it, mercilessly distorting even the terms of abuse. “Ferroflucto spitchebubbio” was his favourite epithet for almost every German. He spoke Italian with a perfect accent—for was he not by birth from Sinigali, where may be heard “lingua toscana in bocca romana”! Emilio, obviously, played the invalid and indulged himself in the pleasant sensations of one who has only just escaped a danger or is returning to health after illness; it was evident, too, that the family spoiled him. He thanked Sanin bashfully, but devoted himself chiefly to the biscuits and sweetmeats. Sanin was compelled to drink two large cups of excellent chocolate, and to eat a considerable number of biscuits; no sooner had he swallowed one than Gemma offered him another—and to refuse was impossible! He soon felt at home: the time flew by with incredible swiftness. He had to tell them a great deal—about Russia in general, the Russian climate, Russian society, the Russian peasant—and especially about the Cossacks; about the war of 1812, about Peter the Great, about the Kremlin, and the Russian songs and bells. Both ladies had a very faint conception of our vast and remote fatherland; Signora Roselli, or as she was more often called, Frau Lenore, positively dumfoundered Sanin with the question, whether there was still existing at Petersburg the celebrated house of ice, built last century, about which she had lately read a very curious article in one of her husband’s books, “Bettezze delle arti.” And in reply to Sanin’s exclamation, “Do you really suppose that there is never any summer in Russia?” Frau Lenore replied that till then she had always pictured Russia like this—eternal snow, every one going about in furs, and all military men, but the greatest hospitality, and all the peasants very submissive! Sanin tried to impart to her and her daughter some more exact information. When the conversation touched on Russian music, they begged him at once to sing some Russian air and showed him a diminutive piano with black keys instead of white and white instead of black. He obeyed without making much ado and accompanying himself with two fingers of the right hand and three of the left (the first, second, and little finger) he sang in a thin nasal tenor, first “The Sarafan,” then “Along a Paved Street.” The ladies praised his voice and the music, but were more struck with the softness and sonorousness of the Russian language and asked for a translation of the text. Sanin complied with their wishes—but as the words of “The Sarafan,” and still more of “Along a Paved Street’ (sur une rue pavée une jeune fille allait à l’eau was how he rendered the sense of the original) were not calculated to inspire his listeners with an exalted idea of Russian poetry, he first recited, then translated, and then sang Pushkin’s, “I remember a marvellous moment,” set to music by Glinka, whose minor bars he did not render quite faithfully. Then the ladies went into ecstasies. Frau Lenore positively discovered in Russian a wonderful likeness to the Italian. Even the names Pushkin (she pronounced it Pussekin) and Glinka sounded somewhat familiar to her. Sanin on his side begged the ladies to sing something; they too did not wait to be pressed. Frau Lenore sat down to the piano and sang with Gemma some duets and “stornelle.” The mother had once had a fine contralto; the daughter’s voice was not strong, but was pleasing.
Gemma listened to her mom, laughing one moment, sighing the next, patting her on the shoulder, shaking a finger at her, and then looking at Sanin. Finally, she got up, hugged her mom, and kissed her in the neck, making her laugh a lot and let out a little shriek. Pantaleone was also introduced to Sanin. It turned out he had once been an opera singer, a baritone, but had long since left the theater and now had a role in the Roselli family that was somewhere between a family friend and a servant. Despite living in Germany for a long time, he hadn’t learned much German and only knew how to swear in it, hilariously mangling even the insults. His favorite expression for almost every German was "Ferroflucto spitchebubbio". He spoke Italian with a perfect accent—after all, he was originally from Sinigali, where you can hear "lingua toscana in bocca romana"! Emilio was clearly playing the invalid, enjoying the pleasant feelings of someone who had just escaped danger or was recovering from illness; it was also obvious that the family spoiled him. He thanked Sanin shyly but mainly focused on the biscuits and sweets. Sanin had to drink two big cups of excellent chocolate and eat plenty of biscuits; as soon as he finished one, Gemma offered him another—and saying no was impossible! He quickly felt at home: time flew by in a flash. He had to share a lot about Russia in general, the Russian climate, Russian society, Russian peasants—and especially about the Cossacks; about the 1812 war, Peter the Great, the Kremlin, and Russian songs and bells. Both ladies had only a vague idea of our vast and distant homeland; Signora Roselli, or as she was more commonly called, Frau Lenore, completely astonished Sanin with her question about whether the famous ice house still existed in Petersburg, built last century, which she had recently read about in one of her husband’s books, "Bettezze delle arti." In response to Sanin's exclamation, “Do you really think there’s never any summer in Russia?” Frau Lenore said that until then, she had always imagined Russia like this—eternal snow, everyone wrapped in furs, all the military men, but with the greatest hospitality, and all the peasants very submissive! Sanin tried to give her and her daughter more accurate information. When the topic shifted to Russian music, they immediately asked him to sing a Russian tune and showed him a tiny piano with black keys instead of white and white instead of black. He obliged without much fuss and, playing with two fingers from his right hand and three from his left (the first, second, and little finger), sang in a thin, nasal tenor, first “The Sarafan,” then “Along a Paved Street.” The ladies praised his voice and the music but were more impressed with the softness and richness of the Russian language and asked for a translation of the lyrics. Sanin obliged—but since the words of “The Sarafan,” and even more so “Along a Paved Street” (sur une rue pavée une jeune fille allait à l’eau was how he captured the meaning of the original) didn’t give his listeners an elevated impression of Russian poetry, he first recited, then translated, and then sang Pushkin’s “I remember a marvelous moment,” set to music by Glinka, whose minor parts he didn’t quite replicate accurately. The ladies went into ecstasies. Frau Lenore noticed a wonderful similarity between Russian and Italian. Even the names Pushkin (which she pronounced as Pussekin) and Glinka sounded somewhat familiar to her. Sanin then asked the ladies to sing something; they didn’t need to be asked twice. Frau Lenore sat down at the piano and sang some duets and “stornelle” with Gemma. The mother had once had a beautiful contralto; the daughter’s voice was not strong, but it was pleasing.
VI
But it was not Gemma’s voice—it was herself Sanin was admiring. He was sitting a little behind and on one side of her, and kept thinking to himself that no palm-tree, even in the poems of Benediktov—the poet in fashion in those days—could rival the slender grace of her figure. When, at the most emotional passages, she raised her eyes upwards—it seemed to him no heaven could fail to open at such a look! Even the old man, Pantaleone, who with his shoulder propped against the doorpost, and his chin and mouth tucked into his capacious cravat, was listening solemnly with the air of a connoisseur—even he was admiring the girl’s lovely face and marvelling at it, though one would have thought he must have been used to it! When she had finished the duet with her daughter, Frau Lenore observed that Emilio had a fine voice, like a silver bell, but that now he was at the age when the voice changes—he did, in fact, talk in a sort of bass constantly falling into falsetto—and that he was therefore forbidden to sing; but that Pantaleone now really might try his skill of old days in honour of their guest! Pantaleone promptly put on a displeased air, frowned, ruffled up his hair, and declared that he had given it all up long ago, though he could certainly in his youth hold his own, and indeed had belonged to that great period, when there were real classical singers, not to be compared to the squeaking performers of to-day! and a real school of singing; that he, Pantaleone Cippatola of Varese, had once been brought a laurel wreath from Modena, and that on that occasion some white doves had positively been let fly in the theatre; that among others a Russian prince Tarbusky—“il principe Tarbusski”—with whom he had been on the most friendly terms, had after supper persistently invited him to Russia, promising him mountains of gold, mountains!… but that he had been unwilling to leave Italy, the land of Dante—il paese del Dante! Afterward, to be sure, there came … unfortunate circumstances, he had himself been imprudent…. At this point the old man broke off, sighed deeply twice, looked dejected, and began again talking of the classical period of singing, of the celebrated tenor Garcia, for whom he cherished a devout, unbounded veneration. “He was a man!” he exclaimed. “Never had the great Garcia (il gran Garcia) demeaned himself by singing falsetto like the paltry tenors of to-day—tenoracci; always from the chest, from the chest, voce di petto, si!” and the old man aimed a vigorous blow with his little shrivelled fist at his own shirt-front! “And what an actor! A volcano, signori miei, a volcano, un Vesuvio! I had the honour and the happiness of singing with him in the opera dell’ illustrissimo maestro Rossini—in Otello! Garcia was Otello,—I was Iago—and when he rendered the phrase”:—here Pantaleone threw himself into an attitude and began singing in a hoarse and shaky, but still moving voice:
But it wasn’t Gemma’s voice that Sanin admired—it was her whole self. He was sitting a bit behind her and to the side, thinking that no palm tree, even in the poems of Benediktov—the popular poet of those days—could match the slender elegance of her figure. When she lifted her eyes during the most emotional parts, he felt that no heaven could resist opening up at such a gaze! Even old Pantaleone, leaning against the doorpost with his chin and mouth tucked into his large cravat, was listening intently with the expression of a connoisseur—he was admiring the girl’s beautiful face and marveling at it, though you’d think he’d be used to it by now! After she finished the duet with her daughter, Frau Lenore mentioned that Emilio had a lovely voice, like a silver bell, but now he was at the age where voices change—he did tend to speak in a sort of bass that often slipped into falsetto—and so he was banned from singing; however, she suggested that Pantaleone might as well showcase his old skills in honor of their guest! Pantaleone immediately put on a discontented look, frowned, tousled his hair, and proclaimed that he had given it all up a long time ago, even though he could definitely hold his own in his youth and had been part of that great era when real classical singers existed, unlike the squeaky performers today! He reminisced that he, Pantaleone Cippatola from Varese, had once received a laurel wreath from Modena and that, on that occasion, white doves had actually been released in the theater; he fondly recalled a Russian prince, Tarbusky—“il principe Tarbusski”—who had repeatedly invited him to Russia after dinner, promising him mountains of gold, mountains!… but he had been reluctant to leave Italy, the land of Dante—il paese del Dante! Of course, unfortunate circumstances later came up; he admitted to having been imprudent…. At this point, the old man paused, sighed deeply twice, looked downcast, and began talking again about the classical singing era, particularly the famous tenor Garcia, for whom he held immense respect. “He was a man!” he exclaimed. “The great Garcia (il gran Garcia) never stooped to singing falsetto like the pathetic tenors of today—tenoracci; always from the chest, from the chest, voce di petto, si!” and he emphasized his point with a vigorous jab of his little, wrinkled fist at his own shirt! “And what an actor! A volcano, signori miei, a volcano, un Vesuvio! I had the honor and joy of singing with him in the opera dell’ illustrissimo maestro Rossini—in Otello! Garcia was Otello—I was Iago—and when he sang this phrase”:—here Pantaleone struck a pose and began singing in a hoarse and shaky, yet still moving voice:
“L’i … ra daver … so daver … so il fato
lo più no … no … no … non temerò!”
“L’i … ra daver … so daver … so il fato
I won’t be afraid anymore!”
The theatre was all a-quiver, signori miei! though I too did not fall short, I too after him.
The theater was buzzing, my lords! Although I didn’t hold back either, I followed him as well.
“L’i ra daver … so daver … so il fato
Temèr più non davro!”
“L’i ra daver … so daver … so il fato
Temèr più non davro!”
And all of a sudden, he crashed like lightning, like a tiger: Morro!… ma vendicato … Again when he was singing … when he was singing that celebrated air from “Matrimonio segreto,” Pria che spunti … then he, il gran Garcia, after the words, “I cavalli di galoppo”—at the words, “Senza posa cacciera,”—listen, how stupendous, come è stupendo! At that point he made …” The old man began a sort of extraordinary flourish, and at the tenth note broke down, cleared his throat, and with a wave of his arm turned away, muttering, “Why do you torment me?” Gemma jumped up at once and clapping loudly and shouting, bravo!… bravo!… she ran to the poor old super-annuated Iago and with both hands patted him affectionately on the shoulders. Only Emil laughed ruthlessly. Cet âge est sans pitié—that age knows no mercy—Lafontaine has said already.
And all of a sudden, he crashed like lightning, like a tiger: Morro!… I’ve avenged myself … Again when he was singing … when he was singing that famous piece from “Matrimonio segreto,” Pria che spunti … then he, il gran Garcia, after the line, “I cavalli di galoppo”—at the words, “Senza posa cacciera,”—listen, how amazing, come è stupendo! At that point he made …” The old man started an extraordinary flourish, and at the tenth note, he faltered, cleared his throat, and with a wave of his arm turned away, muttering, “Why do you torture me?” Gemma immediately jumped up, clapping loudly and shouting, bravo!… bravo!… she ran to the poor old retired Iago and affectionately patted him on the shoulders with both hands. Only Emil laughed cruelly. Cet âge est sans pitié—that age knows no mercy—Lafontaine has already said.
Sanin tried to soothe the aged singer and began talking to him in Italian—(he had picked up a smattering during his last tour there)—began talking of “paese del Dante, dove il si suona.” This phrase, together with “Lasciate ogni speranza,” made up the whole stock of poetic Italian of the young tourist; but Pantaleone was not won over by his blandishments. Tucking his chin deeper than ever into his cravat and sullenly rolling his eyes, he was once more like a bird, an angry one too,—a crow or a kite. Then Emil, with a faint momentary blush, such as one so often sees in spoilt children, addressing his sister, said if she wanted to entertain their guest, she could do nothing better than read him one of those little comedies of Malz, that she read so nicely. Gemma laughed, slapped her brother on the arm, exclaimed that he “always had such ideas!” She went promptly, however, to her room, and returning thence with a small book in her hand, seated herself at the table before the lamp, looked round, lifted one finger as much as to say, “hush!”—a typically Italian gesture—and began reading.
Sanin tried to calm the elderly singer and started speaking to him in Italian—(he had learned a little during his last tour there)—talking about “paese del Dante, dove il si suona.” This phrase, along with “Lasciate ogni speranza,” made up the entirety of his poetic Italian; however, Pantaleone was not swayed by his efforts. Tucking his chin deeper into his scarf and rolling his eyes sullenly, he resembled an agitated bird—like a crow or a kite. Then Emil, with a faint momentary blush, similar to what you often see in spoiled kids, turned to his sister and suggested that if she wanted to entertain their guest, she could do no better than read him one of those little comedies by Malz that she read so well. Gemma laughed, gave her brother a playful slap on the arm, and exclaimed that he “always had such ideas!” However, she promptly went to her room, returned with a small book in her hand, sat down at the table in front of the lamp, looked around, raised one finger as if to say, “hush!”—a classic Italian gesture—and began reading.
VII
Malz was a writer flourishing at Frankfort about 1830, whose short comedies, written in a light vein in the local dialect, hit off local Frankfort types with bright and amusing, though not deep, humour. It turned out that Gemma really did read excellently—quite like an actress in fact. She indicated each personage, and sustained the character capitally, making full use of the talent of mimicry she had inherited with her Italian blood; she had no mercy on her soft voice or her lovely face, and when she had to represent some old crone in her dotage, or a stupid burgomaster, she made the drollest grimaces, screwing up her eyes, wrinkling up her nose, lisping, squeaking…. She did not herself laugh during the reading; but when her audience (with the exception of Pantaleone: he had walked off in indignation so soon as the conversation turned o quel ferroflucto Tedesco) interrupted her by an outburst of unanimous laughter, she dropped the book on her knee, and laughed musically too, her head thrown back, and her black hair dancing in little ringlets on her neck and her shaking shoulders. When the laughter ceased, she picked up the book at once, and again resuming a suitable expression, began the reading seriously. Sanin could not get over his admiration; he was particularly astonished at the marvellous way in which a face so ideally beautiful assumed suddenly a comic, sometimes almost a vulgar expression. Gemma was less successful in the parts of young girls—of so-called “jeunes premières”; in the love-scenes in particular she failed; she was conscious of this herself, and for that reason gave them a faint shade of irony as though she did not quite believe in all these rapturous vows and elevated sentiments, of which the author, however, was himself rather sparing—so far as he could be.
Malz was a writer thriving in Frankfurt around 1830, known for his short comedies written in a light-hearted local dialect that cleverly captured the typical Frankfurt characters with bright and amusing, though not deep, humor. It turned out that Gemma really did read excellently—almost like an actress, in fact. She brought each character to life and portrayed them brilliantly, fully utilizing her gift for mimicry, which she inherited from her Italian heritage; she held nothing back from her soft voice or her beautiful face, and when she had to play an old woman or a foolish mayor, she made the funniest faces, squinting her eyes, wrinkling her nose, lisping, and squeaking. She didn’t laugh during the reading herself, but when her audience (except for Pantaleone, who walked off in indignation as soon as the conversation turned to o quel ferroflucto Tedesco) interrupted her with a burst of collective laughter, she dropped the book onto her lap and laughed melodiously too, her head thrown back, with her black hair bouncing in little ringlets on her neck and shaking shoulders. When the laughter died down, she immediately picked up the book again, resumed a serious expression, and continued reading. Sanin couldn't get over his admiration; he was especially amazed at how a face so stunningly beautiful could suddenly take on a comic, sometimes almost vulgar expression. Gemma was less convincing in the parts of young girls—so-called “jeunes premières”; particularly in the love scenes, she struggled; she was aware of this herself and as a result, added a hint of irony as if she didn’t completely buy into all those passionate vows and lofty sentiments, which the author was himself rather minimal about—at least to the extent he could be.
Sanin did not notice how the evening was flying by, and only recollected the journey before him when the clock struck ten. He leaped up from his seat as though he had been stung.
Sanin didn't realize how quickly the evening was passing, and only remembered the journey ahead of him when the clock struck ten. He jumped up from his seat as if he'd been stung.
“What is the matter?” inquired Frau Lenore.
“What’s going on?” asked Frau Lenore.
“Why, I had to start for Berlin to-night, and I have taken a place in the diligence!”
“Why, I have to leave for Berlin tonight, and I've booked a seat on the coach!”
“And when does the diligence start?”
“And when does the work begin?”
“At half-past ten!”
"At 10:30!"
“Well, then, you won’t catch it now,” observed Gemma; “you must stay … and I will go on reading.”
“Well, you won’t catch it now,” Gemma said; “you have to stay … and I’ll keep reading.”
“Have you paid the whole fare or only given a deposit?” Frau Lenore queried.
“Did you pay the full fare or just a deposit?” Frau Lenore asked.
“The whole fare!” Sanin said dolefully with a gloomy face.
“The whole thing!” Sanin said sadly with a long face.
Gemma looked at him, half closed her eyes, and laughed, while her mother scolded her:
Gemma looked at him, narrowed her eyes playfully, and laughed, while her mother scolded her:
“The young gentleman has paid away his money for nothing, and you laugh!”
“The young man spent his money for no reason, and you’re laughing!”
“Never mind,” answered Gemma; “it won’t ruin him, and we will try and amuse him. Will you have some lemonade?”
“It's fine,” Gemma replied; “it won’t hurt him, and we’ll try to entertain him. Would you like some lemonade?”
Sanin drank a glass of lemonade, Gemma took up Malz once more; and all went merrily again.
Sanin drank a glass of lemonade, Gemma picked up Malz again; and everything was cheerful once more.
The clock struck twelve. Sanin rose to take leave.
The clock struck twelve. Sanin got up to say goodbye.
“You must stay some days now in Frankfort,” said Gemma: “why should you hurry away? It would be no nicer in any other town.” She paused. “It wouldn’t, really,” she added with a smile. Sanin made no reply, and reflected that considering the emptiness of his purse, he would have no choice about remaining in Frankfort till he got an answer from a friend in Berlin, to whom he proposed writing for money.
“You should stick around in Frankfurt for a few days,” Gemma said. “Why rush off? It wouldn’t be any better in another city.” She paused. “Honestly, it wouldn’t,” she added with a smile. Sanin didn’t respond and thought that given how low his funds were, he had no choice but to stay in Frankfurt until he heard back from a friend in Berlin, to whom he planned to write asking for money.
“Yes, do stay,” urged Frau Lenore too. “We will introduce you to Mr. Karl Klüber, who is engaged to Gemma. He could not come to-day, as he was very busy at his shop … you must have seen the biggest draper’s and silk mercer’s shop in the Zeile. Well, he is the manager there. But he will be delighted to call on you himself.”
“Yes, please stay,” Frau Lenore insisted. “We’ll introduce you to Mr. Karl Klüber, who is engaged to Gemma. He couldn’t come today because he was very busy at his shop... you must have seen the biggest draper and silk mercer shop in the Zeile. Well, he’s the manager there. But he will be happy to visit you himself.”
Sanin—heaven knows why—was slightly disconcerted by this piece of information. “He’s a lucky fellow, that fiancé!” flashed across his mind. He looked at Gemma, and fancied he detected an ironical look in her eyes. He began saying good-bye.
Sanin—heaven knows why—was a bit unsettled by this piece of information. “He’s a lucky guy, that fiancé!” crossed his mind. He looked at Gemma and thought he saw a hint of irony in her eyes. He started saying goodbye.
“Till to-morrow? Till to-morrow, isn’t it?” queried Frau Lenore.
“Until tomorrow? Until tomorrow, right?” asked Frau Lenore.
“Till to-morrow!” Gemma declared in a tone not of interrogation, but of affirmation, as though it could not be otherwise.
“Until tomorrow!” Gemma declared with a tone that was more of a statement than a question, as if it was inevitable.
“Till to-morrow!” echoed Sanin.
"See you tomorrow!" echoed Sanin.
Emil, Pantaleone, and the poodle Tartaglia accompanied him to the corner of the street. Pantaleone could not refrain from expressing his displeasure at Gemma’s reading.
Emil, Pantaleone, and the poodle Tartaglia walked with him to the corner of the street. Pantaleone couldn’t help but voice his annoyance at Gemma’s reading.
“She ought to be ashamed! She mouths and whines, una caricatura! She ought to represent Merope or Clytemnaestra—something grand, tragic—and she apes some wretched German woman! I can do that … merz, kerz, smerz,” he went on in a hoarse voice poking his face forward, and brandishing his fingers. Tartaglia began barking at him, while Emil burst out laughing. The old man turned sharply back.
“She should be ashamed! She complains and whines, una caricatura! She should represent Merope or Clytemnestra—something grand, tragic—and instead, she imitates some miserable German woman! I can do that … merz, kerz, smerz,” he continued in a raspy voice, leaning forward and waving his fingers. Tartaglia started barking at him, while Emil burst out laughing. The old man turned back sharply.
Sanin went back to the White Swan (he had left his things there in the public hall) in a rather confused frame of mind. All the talk he had had in French, German, and Italian was ringing in his ears.
Sanin went back to the White Swan (he had left his things there in the public hall) feeling a bit mixed up. All the conversations he had in French, German, and Italian were echoing in his mind.
“Engaged!” he whispered as he lay in bed, in the modest apartment assigned to him. “And what a beauty! But what did I stay for?”
“Engaged!” he whispered as he lay in bed in the small apartment he had been given. “And what a beauty! But why did I stick around?”
Next day he sent a letter to his friend in Berlin.
Next day he sent a letter to his friend in Berlin.
VIII
He had not finished dressing, when a waiter announced the arrival of two gentlemen. One of them turned out to be Emil; the other, a good-looking and well-grown young man, with a handsome face, was Herr Karl Klüber, the betrothed of the lovely Gemma.
He hadn't finished getting dressed when a waiter announced the arrival of two gentlemen. One of them was Emil; the other, a good-looking and well-built young man with a handsome face, was Herr Karl Klüber, the fiancé of the lovely Gemma.
One may safely assume that at that time in all Frankfort, there was not in a single shop a manager as civil, as decorous, as dignified, and as affable as Herr Klüber. The irreproachable perfection of his get-up was on a level with the dignity of his deportment, with the elegance—a little affected and stiff, it is true, in the English style (he had spent two years in England)—but still fascinating, elegance of his manners! It was clear from the first glance that this handsome, rather severe, excellently brought-up and superbly washed young man was accustomed to obey his superior and to command his inferior, and that behind the counter of his shop he must infallibly inspire respect even in his customers! Of his supernatural honesty there could never be a particle of doubt: one had but to look at his stiffly starched collars! And his voice, it appeared, was just what one would expect; deep, and of a self-confident richness, but not too loud, with positively a certain caressing note in its timbre. Such a voice was peculiarly fitted to give orders to assistants under his control: “Show the crimson Lyons velvet!” or, “Hand the lady a chair!”
One could easily say that at that time in all of Frankfurt, there wasn’t a single shop manager as polite, proper, dignified, and friendly as Herr Klüber. His impeccable appearance matched the dignity of his demeanor, with an elegance that was a bit theatrical and stiff, it's true, in the English style (he had spent two years in England)—but still captivating, nonetheless! It was obvious from the first look that this handsome, somewhat stern, well-mannered, and impeccably groomed young man was used to obeying his superiors and commanding his subordinates, and that behind the counter of his shop, he would surely command respect even from his customers! There could never be any doubt about his remarkable honesty: one only had to look at his stiffly starched collars! And his voice, it seemed, was just what you would expect; deep, with a self-assured richness, but not too loud, possessing a soothing tone in its quality. Such a voice was particularly suited for giving orders to his assistants: “Show the crimson Lyons velvet!” or, “Please hand the lady a chair!”
Herr Klüber began with introducing himself; as he did so, he bowed with such loftiness, moved his legs with such an agreeable air, and drew his heels together with such polished courtesy that no one could fail to feel, “that man has both linen and moral principles of the first quality!” The finish of his bare right hand—(the left, in a suède glove, held a hat shining like a looking-glass, with the right glove placed within it)—the finish of the right hand, proffered modestly but resolutely to Sanin, surpassed all belief; each finger-nail was a perfection in its own way! Then he proceeded to explain in the choicest German that he was anxious to express his respect and his indebtedness to the foreign gentleman who had performed so signal a service to his future kinsman, the brother of his betrothed; as he spoke, he waved his left hand with the hat in it in the direction of Emil, who seemed bashful and turning away to the window, put his finger in his mouth. Herr Klüber added that he should esteem himself happy should he be able in return to do anything for the foreign gentleman. Sanin, with some difficulty, replied, also in German, that he was delighted … that the service was not worth speaking of … and he begged his guests to sit down. Herr Klüber thanked him, and lifting his coat-tails, sat down on a chair; but he perched there so lightly and with such a transitory air that no one could fail to realise, “this man is sitting down from politeness, and will fly up again in an instant.” And he did in fact fly up again quickly, and advancing with two discreet little dance-steps, he announced that to his regret he was unable to stay any longer, as he had to hasten to his shop—business before everything! but as the next day was Sunday, he had, with the consent of Frau Lenore and Fräulein Gemma, arranged a holiday excursion to Soden, to which he had the honour of inviting the foreign gentleman, and he cherished the hope that he would not refuse to grace the party with his presence. Sanin did not refuse so to grace it; and Herr Klüber repeating once more his complimentary sentiments, took leave, his pea-green trousers making a spot of cheerful colour, and his brand-new boots squeaking cheerfully as he moved.
Herr Klüber started by introducing himself; as he did, he bowed with such grandeur, moved his legs with such charm, and brought his heels together with such polished courtesy that everyone felt, “that man has both fine attire and strong moral principles!” The appearance of his bare right hand—(the left, wearing a suede glove, held a hat that shone like a mirror, with the right glove tucked inside it)—the presentation of the right hand, offered modestly yet decisively to Sanin, was unbelievable; each fingernail was perfectly groomed! Then he went on to explain in excellent German that he wanted to express his respect and gratitude to the foreign gentleman who had provided such a significant service to his future relative, the brother of his fiancée; while speaking, he waved his left hand, hat in hand, towards Emil, who seemed shy and turned away to the window, putting his finger in his mouth. Herr Klüber said he would consider himself lucky if he could do anything in return for the foreign gentleman. Sanin replied with some difficulty, also in German, that he was pleased … that the service wasn’t worth mentioning … and he invited his guests to sit down. Herr Klüber thanked him, and lifting his coat-tails, seated himself on a chair; however, he perched there so lightly and with such a fleeting air that no one could fail to realize, “this man is sitting down out of politeness and will get up again in an instant.” And indeed, he quickly rose again, stepping forward with two discreet little dance steps, announcing that, to his regret, he couldn’t stay any longer, as he needed to hurry to his shop—business before everything! But since the next day was Sunday, he had arranged a holiday outing to Soden with the permission of Frau Lenore and Fräulein Gemma, and he had the honor of inviting the foreign gentleman, hoping he wouldn’t refuse to join the party. Sanin didn’t decline the invitation; and Herr Klüber, once again expressing his compliments, took his leave, his pea-green trousers adding a splash of cheerful color, and his brand-new boots squeaking happily as he walked away.
IX
Emil, who had continued to stand with his face to the window, even after Sanin’s invitation to him to sit down, turned round directly his future kinsman had gone out, and with a childish pout and blush, asked Sanin if he might remain a little while with him. “I am much better to-day,” he added, “but the doctor has forbidden me to do any work.”
Emil, who had kept facing the window even after Sanin invited him to sit down, turned around right after his future relative left, and with a childish pout and blush, asked Sanin if he could stay a little longer. “I’m feeling much better today,” he added, “but the doctor has told me I can’t do any work.”
“Stay by all means! You won’t be in the least in my way,” Sanin cried at once. Like every true Russian he was glad to clutch at any excuse that saved him from the necessity of doing anything himself.
“Please stay! You won't be in my way at all,” Sanin exclaimed immediately. Like any true Russian, he was eager to seize any excuse that kept him from having to do anything himself.
Emil thanked him, and in a very short time he was completely at home with him and with his room; he looked at all his things, asked him about almost every one of them, where he had bought it, and what was its value. He helped him to shave, observing that it was a mistake not to let his moustache grow; and finally told him a number of details about his mother, his sister, Pantaleone, the poodle Tartaglia, and all their daily life. Every semblance of timidity vanished in Emil; he suddenly felt extraordinarily attracted to Sanin—not at all because he had saved his life the day before, but because he was such a nice person! He lost no time in confiding all his secrets to Sanin. He expatiated with special warmth on the fact that his mother was set on making him a shopkeeper, while he knew, knew for certain, that he was born an artist, a musician, a singer; that Pantaleone even encouraged him, but that Herr Klüber supported mamma, over whom he had great influence; that the very idea of his being a shopkeeper really originated with Herr Klüber, who considered that nothing in the world could compare with trade! To measure out cloth—and cheat the public, extorting from it “Narren—oder Russen Preise” (fools’—or Russian prices)—that was his ideal![1]
Emil thanked him, and in no time, he felt completely at home with him and in his room; he checked out all his stuff, asked him about almost everything, where he got it, and how much it was worth. He helped him shave, mentioning that it was a mistake not to let his mustache grow; and finally shared a lot of details about his mom, his sister, Pantaleone, the poodle Tartaglia, and their daily life. All signs of shyness disappeared in Emil; he suddenly felt incredibly drawn to Sanin—not because he had saved his life the day before, but because he was such a great person! He quickly opened up and shared all his secrets with Sanin. He passionately talked about how his mom wanted him to be a shopkeeper, while he knew, without a doubt, that he was meant to be an artist, a musician, a singer; that Pantaleone even encouraged him, but that Herr Klüber backed his mom, with a lot of influence over her; that the very idea of him being a shopkeeper actually came from Herr Klüber, who thought that nothing in the world compared to business! Measuring out fabric—and cheating the public, charging them “Narren—oder Russen Preise” (fools’—or Russian prices)—that was his dream![1]
[1] In former days—and very likely it is not different now—when, from May onwards, a great number of Russians visited Frankfort, prices rose in all the shops, and were called “Russians’,” or, alas! “fools’ prices.”
[1] In the past—and probably still today—when many Russians started visiting Frankfurt from May onward, prices in all the shops went up and were referred to as “Russian prices” or, unfortunately, “fool’s prices.”
“Come! now you must come and see us!” he cried, directly Sanin had finished his toilet and written his letter to Berlin.
“Come! Now you have to come and see us!” he exclaimed as soon as Sanin had finished getting ready and written his letter to Berlin.
“It’s early yet,” observed Sanin.
"It’s still early," observed Sanin.
“That’s no matter,” replied Emil caressingly. “Come along! We’ll go to the post—and from there to our place. Gemma will be so glad to see you! You must have lunch with us…. You might say a word to mamma about me, my career….”
“That’s no problem,” Emil said softly. “Come on! Let’s go to the post office—and then to our place. Gemma will be so happy to see you! You have to have lunch with us…. You could mention a word to Mom about me and my career….”
“Very well, let’s go,” said Sanin, and they set off.
“Alright, let’s go,” said Sanin, and they headed out.
X
Gemma certainly was delighted to see him, and Frau Lenore gave him a very friendly welcome; he had obviously made a good impression on both of them the evening before. Emil ran to see to getting lunch ready, after a preliminary whisper, “don’t forget!” in Sanin’s ear.
Gemma was definitely happy to see him, and Frau Lenore welcomed him warmly; he had clearly made a good impression on both of them the night before. Emil hurried to prepare lunch after whispering a quick "don’t forget!" in Sanin's ear.
“I won’t forget,” responded Sanin.
"I won't forget," said Sanin.
Frau Lenore was not quite well; she had a sick headache, and, half-lying down in an easy chair, she tried to keep perfectly still. Gemma wore a full yellow blouse, with a black leather belt round the waist; she too seemed exhausted, and was rather pale; there were dark rings round her eyes, but their lustre was not the less for it; it added something of charm and mystery to the classical lines of her face. Sanin was especially struck that day by the exquisite beauty of her hands; when she smoothed and put back her dark, glossy tresses he could not take his eyes off her long supple fingers, held slightly apart from one another like the hand of Raphael’s Fornarina.
Frau Lenore wasn't feeling well; she had a migraine, and as she lay back in an easy chair, she tried to stay perfectly still. Gemma wore a bright yellow blouse with a black leather belt around her waist; she also looked tired and somewhat pale, with dark circles under her eyes, but that didn’t take away from their sparkle; it added a bit of charm and mystery to her classically beautiful face. Sanin was particularly captivated that day by the stunning beauty of her hands; as she smoothed back her dark, shiny hair, he couldn't take his eyes off her long, graceful fingers, slightly spread apart like the hand of Raphael’s Fornarina.
It was very hot out-of-doors; after lunch Sanin was about to take leave, but they told him that on such a day the best thing was to stay where one was, and he agreed; he stayed. In the back room where he was sitting with the ladies of the household, coolness reigned supreme; the windows looked out upon a little garden overgrown with acacias. Multitudes of bees, wasps, and humming beetles kept up a steady, eager buzz in their thick branches, which were studded with golden blossoms; through the half-drawn curtains and the lowered blinds this never-ceasing hum made its way into the room, telling of the sultry heat in the air outside, and making the cool of the closed and snug abode seem the sweeter.
It was really hot outside; after lunch, Sanin was about to take his leave, but they told him that on a day like this, the best thing to do was to stay put, and he agreed; so he stayed. In the back room where he was sitting with the ladies of the house, it was pleasantly cool; the windows overlooked a small garden filled with acacias. Swarms of bees, wasps, and humming beetles created a continuous, eager buzz among the thick branches, which were dotted with golden blossoms; through the partially drawn curtains and lowered blinds, this constant hum seeped into the room, reminding them of the sweltering heat outside, making the coolness of the closed and cozy space feel even more refreshing.
Sanin talked a great deal, as on the day before, but not of Russia, nor of Russian life. Being anxious to please his young friend, who had been sent off to Herr Klüber’s immediately after lunch, to acquire a knowledge of book-keeping, he turned the conversation on the comparative advantages and disadvantages of art and commerce. He was not surprised at Frau Lenore’s standing up for commerce—he had expected that; but Gemma too shared her opinion.
Sanin talked a lot, just like the day before, but not about Russia or Russian life. Wanting to impress his young friend, who had been sent off to Herr Klüber's right after lunch to learn bookkeeping, he shifted the conversation to the pros and cons of art versus commerce. He wasn’t surprised by Frau Lenore’s support for commerce—he expected that; but Gemma also agreed with her.
“If one’s an artist, and especially a singer,” she declared with a vigorous downward sweep of her hand, “one’s got to be first-rate! Second-rate’s worse than nothing; and who can tell if one will arrive at being first-rate?” Pantaleone, who took part too in the conversation—(as an old servant and an old man he had the privilege of sitting down in the presence of the ladies of the house; Italians are not, as a rule, strict in matters of etiquette)—Pantaleone, as a matter of course, stood like a rock for art. To tell the truth, his arguments were somewhat feeble; he kept expatiating for the most part on the necessity, before all things, of possessing “un certo estro d’inspirazione”—a certain force of inspiration! Frau Lenore remarked to him that he had, to be sure, possessed such an “estro”—and yet … “I had enemies,” Pantaleone observed gloomily. “And how do you know that Emil will not have enemies, even if this “estro” is found in him?” “Very well, make a tradesman of him, then,” retorted Pantaleone in vexation; “but Giovan’ Battista would never have done it, though he was a confectioner himself!” “Giovan’ Battista, my husband, was a reasonable man, and even though he was in his youth led away …” But the old man would hear nothing more, and walked away, repeating reproachfully, “Ah! Giovan’ Battista!…” Gemma exclaimed that if Emil felt like a patriot, and wanted to devote all his powers to the liberation of Italy, then, of course, for such a high and holy cause he might sacrifice the security of the future—but not for the theatre! Thereupon Frau Lenore became much agitated, and began to implore her daughter to refrain at least from turning her brother’s head, and to content herself with being such a desperate republican herself! Frau Lenore groaned as she uttered these words, and began complaining of her head, which was “ready to split.” (Frau Lenore, in deference to their guest, talked to her daughter in French.)
“If you’re an artist, and especially a singer,” she declared with a dramatic sweep of her hand, “you have to be top-notch! Being second-rate is worse than nothing; and who can say if you’ll ever be top-notch?” Pantaleone, who was also part of the conversation—(as an old servant and an elderly man, he had the privilege of sitting down with the ladies of the house; Italians typically aren’t very strict about etiquette)—naturally stood firm for art. To be honest, his arguments were a bit weak; he mostly went on about the necessity, above all, of having “un certo estro d’inspirazione”—a certain spark of inspiration! Frau Lenore pointed out to him that he indeed had such an “estro”—and yet … “I had enemies,” Pantaleone remarked gloomily. “And how do you know Emil won’t have enemies, even if this ‘estro’ is found in him?” “Alright, then make a tradesman out of him,” Pantaleone shot back in frustration; “but Giovan’ Battista would never have done that, even though he was a confectioner himself!” “Giovan’ Battista, my husband, was reasonable, and even if he was misled in his youth …” But the old man wouldn’t listen anymore and walked away, repeating reproachfully, “Ah! Giovan’ Battista!…” Gemma exclaimed that if Emil felt like a patriot and wanted to devote all his energy to the liberation of Italy, then, of course, for such a noble cause he could sacrifice his future security—but not for the theater! At that, Frau Lenore became very upset and started begging her daughter not to confuse her brother and to be satisfied with being such a fervent republican herself! Frau Lenore groaned as she said this, complaining of her head, which felt like it was “ready to split.” (Out of respect for their guest, Frau Lenore spoke to her daughter in French.)
Gemma began at once to wait upon her; she moistened her forehead with eau-de-Cologne, gently blew on it, gently kissed her cheek, made her lay her head on a pillow, forbade her to speak, and kissed her again. Then, turning to Sanin, she began telling him in a half-joking, half-tender tone what a splendid mother she had, and what a beauty she had been. “‘Had been,’ did I say? she is charming now! Look, look, what eyes!”
Gemma immediately started to take care of her; she dabbed her forehead with cologne, gently blew on it, kissed her cheek, helped her rest her head on a pillow, told her not to talk, and kissed her again. Then, turning to Sanin, she began to tell him in a half-joking, half-tender way how amazing her mother was and how beautiful she used to be. “‘Used to be,’ did I say? She's stunning now! Look, look at those eyes!”
Gemma instantly pulled a white handkerchief out of her pocket, covered her mother’s face with it, and slowly drawing it downwards, gradually uncovered Frau Lenore’s forehead, eyebrows, and eyes; she waited a moment and asked her to open them. Her mother obeyed; Gemma cried out in ecstasy (Frau Lenore’s eyes really were very beautiful), and rapidly sliding the handkerchief over the lower, less regular part of the face, fell to kissing her again. Frau Lenore laughed, and turning a little away, with a pretence of violence, pushed her daughter away. She too pretended to struggle with her mother, and lavished caresses on her—not like a cat, in the French manner, but with that special Italian grace in which is always felt the presence of power.
Gemma quickly pulled a white handkerchief out of her pocket, covered her mom’s face with it, and slowly pulled it down, gradually revealing Frau Lenore’s forehead, eyebrows, and eyes; she paused for a moment and asked her to open them. Her mom complied; Gemma gasped in delight (Frau Lenore’s eyes really were very beautiful), and swiftly sliding the handkerchief over the lower, less regular part of her face, she started kissing her again. Frau Lenore laughed and, pretending to be forceful, turned away slightly to push her daughter back. She too pretended to struggle with her mom and showered her with affection—not like a cat, in the French way, but with that special Italian grace that always conveys a sense of strength.
At last Frau Lenore declared she was tired out … Then Gemma at once advised her to have a little nap, where she was, in her chair, “and I and the Russian gentleman—‘avec le monsieur russe’—will be as quiet, as quiet … as little mice … ‘comme des petites souris.’” Frau Lenore smiled at her in reply, closed her eyes, and after a few sighs began to doze. Gemma quickly dropped down on a bench beside her and did not stir again, only from time to time she put a finger of one hand to her lips—with the other hand she was holding up a pillow behind her mother’s head—and said softly, “sh-sh!” with a sidelong look at Sanin, if he permitted himself the smallest movement. In the end he too sank into a kind of dream, and sat motionless as though spell-bound, while all his faculties were absorbed in admiring the picture presented him by the half-dark room, here and there spotted with patches of light crimson, where fresh, luxuriant roses stood in the old-fashioned green glasses, and the sleeping woman with demurely folded hands and kind, weary face, framed in the snowy whiteness of the pillow, and the young, keenly-alert and also kind, clever, pure, and unspeakably beautiful creature with such black, deep, overshadowed, yet shining eyes…. What was it? A dream? a fairy tale? And how came he to be in it?
At last, Frau Lenore said she was exhausted. Then Gemma immediately suggested she take a little nap in her chair, “and I and the Russian gentleman—‘avec le monsieur russe’—will be as quiet as can be … like little mice … ‘comme des petites souris.’” Frau Lenore smiled back at her, closed her eyes, and after a few sighs, started to doze off. Gemma quickly dropped down on a bench beside her and didn’t move again, only occasionally putting a finger to her lips with one hand—while the other supported a pillow behind her mom’s head—and softly saying, “sh-sh!” with a glance at Sanin, making sure he didn’t move even slightly. Eventually, he too drifted into a sort of reverie, sitting still as if spellbound, while all his senses were absorbed in admiring the scene presented to him by the dimly lit room, occasionally illuminated by patches of light crimson where fresh, lush roses stood in old-fashioned green vases, a sleeping woman with her hands folded demurely and a kind, tired face framed by the snowy white of the pillow, and the young, alert, yet kind, clever, pure, and unbelievably beautiful girl with such deep, dark, overshadowed, yet shining eyes…. What was it? A dream? A fairy tale? And how did he fit into it?
XI
The bell tinkled at the outer door. A young peasant lad in a fur cap and a red waistcoat came into the shop from the street. Not one customer had looked into it since early morning … “You see how much business we do!” Frau Lenore observed to Sanin at lunch-time with a sigh. She was still asleep; Gemma was afraid to take her arm from the pillow, and whispered to Sanin: “You go, and mind the shop for me!” Sanin went on tiptoe into the shop at once. The boy wanted a quarter of a pound of peppermints. “How much must I take?” Sanin whispered from the door to Gemma. “Six kreutzers!” she answered in the same whisper. Sanin weighed out a quarter of a pound, found some paper, twisted it into a cone, tipped the peppermints into it, spilt them, tipped them in again, spilt them again, at last handed them to the boy, and took the money…. The boy gazed at him in amazement, twisting his cap in his hands on his stomach, and in the next room, Gemma was stifling with suppressed laughter. Before the first customer had walked out, a second appeared, then a third…. “I bring luck, it’s clear!” thought Sanin. The second customer wanted a glass of orangeade, the third, half-a-pound of sweets. Sanin satisfied their needs, zealously clattering the spoons, changing the saucers, and eagerly plunging his fingers into drawers and jars. On reckoning up, it appeared that he had charged too little for the orangeade, and taken two kreutzers too much for the sweets. Gemma did not cease laughing softly, and Sanin too was aware of an extraordinary lightness of heart, a peculiarly happy state of mind. He felt as if he had for ever been standing behind the counter and dealing in orangeade and sweetmeats, with that exquisite creature looking at him through the doorway with affectionately mocking eyes, while the summer sun, forcing its way through the sturdy leafage of the chestnuts that grew in front of the windows, filled the whole room with the greenish-gold of the midday light and shade, and the heart grew soft in the sweet languor of idleness, carelessness, and youth—first youth!
The bell rang at the front door. A young peasant boy wearing a fur cap and a red waistcoat entered the shop from the street. Not a single customer had come in since early morning... “Look at how much business we're doing!” Frau Lenore remarked to Sanin at lunchtime with a sigh. She was still half asleep; Gemma was hesitant to move her arm from the pillow and whispered to Sanin, “You go and watch the shop for me!” Sanin quietly tiptoed into the shop right away. The boy wanted a quarter of a pound of peppermints. “How much should I charge?” Sanin whispered from the door to Gemma. “Six kreutzers!” she replied in the same soft tone. Sanin weighed out a quarter of a pound, found some paper, twisted it into a cone, poured the peppermints in, spilled them, poured them in again, spilled them again, and finally handed them to the boy, taking the money.... The boy stared at him in astonishment, twisting his cap in his hands on his stomach, while in the next room, Gemma was quietly stifling laughter. Before the first customer left, a second one arrived, then a third…. “I must be bringing good luck!” thought Sanin. The second customer wanted a glass of orangeade, the third, half a pound of sweets. Sanin tended to them, eagerly clattering the spoons, switching the saucers, and quickly digging into drawers and jars. When he tallied the sales, he realized he charged too little for the orangeade and took two kreutzers too much for the sweets. Gemma kept giggling softly, and Sanin felt an incredible lightness in his heart, a uniquely happy mood. He felt like he had always been behind the counter selling orangeade and sweets, with that gorgeous girl looking at him from the doorway with playfully teasing eyes, while the summer sun filtered through the lush leaves of the chestnuts outside the windows, bathing the whole room in a warm, greenish-gold midday light and shade, making his heart soften in the sweet laziness of idleness, carefreeness, and youth—first youth!
A fourth customer asked for a cup of coffee; Pantaleone had to be appealed to. (Emil had not yet come back from Herr Klüber’s shop.) Sanin went and sat by Gemma again. Frau Lenore still went on sleeping, to her daughter’s great delight. “Mamma always sleeps off her sick headaches,” she observed. Sanin began talking—in a whisper, of course, as before—of his minding the shop; very seriously inquired the price of various articles of confectionery; Gemma just as seriously told him these prices, and meanwhile both of them were inwardly laughing together, as though conscious they were playing in a very amusing farce. All of a sudden, an organ-grinder in the street began playing an air from the Freischütz: “Durch die Felder, durch die Auen …” The dance tune fell shrill and quivering on the motionless air. Gemma started … “He will wake mamma!” Sanin promptly darted out into the street, thrust a few kreutzers into the organ-grinder’s hand, and made him cease playing and move away. When he came back, Gemma thanked him with a little nod of the head, and with a pensive smile she began herself just audibly humming the beautiful melody of Weber’s, in which Max expresses all the perplexities of first love. Then she asked Sanin whether he knew “Freischütz,” whether he was fond of Weber, and added that though she was herself an Italian, she liked such music best of all. From Weber the conversation glided off on to poetry and romanticism, on to Hoffmann, whom every one was still reading at that time.
A fourth customer asked for a cup of coffee, and Pantaleone had to be called upon. (Emil hadn’t returned from Herr Klüber’s shop yet.) Sanin went and sat by Gemma again. Frau Lenore was still sleeping, much to her daughter’s delight. “Mom always sleeps off her migraines,” she noted. Sanin started talking—in a whisper, of course, like before—about taking care of the shop; he seriously asked about the prices of different sweets; Gemma equally seriously told him the prices, and meanwhile, they were both internally laughing, as if they knew they were in a very amusing play. Suddenly, an organ-grinder outside started playing a tune from the Freischütz: “Durch die Felder, durch die Auen …” The dance music pierced the still air. Gemma jumped … “He’ll wake mom!” Sanin quickly dashed outside, slipped a few kreutzers into the organ-grinder’s hand, and made him stop playing and move on. When he returned, Gemma thanked him with a slight nod, and with a thoughtful smile, she began softly humming the lovely melody from Weber’s piece, where Max reveals all the confusion of first love. Then she asked Sanin if he knew “Freischütz,” if he liked Weber, and added that even though she was Italian, she loved that kind of music the most. From Weber, the conversation shifted to poetry and romanticism, and to Hoffmann, who everyone was still reading at that time.
And Frau Lenore still slept, and even snored just a little, and the sunbeams, piercing in narrow streaks through the shutters, were incessantly and imperceptibly shifting and travelling over the floor, the furniture, Gemma’s dress, and the leaves and petals of the flowers.
And Mrs. Lenore was still asleep, even snoring a bit, while the sunbeams, streaming in through the shutters in narrow streaks, were constantly and subtly moving across the floor, the furniture, Gemma's dress, and the leaves and petals of the flowers.
XII
It appeared that Gemma was not very fond of Hoffmann, that she even thought him … tedious! The fantastic, misty northern element in his stories was too remote from her clear, southern nature. “It’s all fairy-tales, all written for children!” she declared with some contempt. She was vaguely conscious, too, of the lack of poetry in Hoffmann. But there was one of his stories, the title of which she had forgotten, which she greatly liked; more precisely speaking, it was only the beginning of this story that she liked; the end she had either not read or had forgotten. The story was about a young man who in some place, a sort of restaurant perhaps, meets a girl of striking beauty, a Greek; she is accompanied by a mysterious and strange, wicked old man. The young man falls in love with the girl at first sight; she looks at him so mournfully, as though beseeching him to deliver her…. He goes out for an instant, and, coming back into the restaurant, finds there neither the girl nor the old man; he rushes off in pursuit of her, continually comes upon fresh traces of her, follows them up, and can never by any means come upon her anywhere. The lovely girl has vanished for him for ever and ever, and he is never able to forget her imploring glance, and is tortured by the thought that all the happiness of his life, perhaps, has slipped through his fingers.
Gemma didn't seem to like Hoffmann much; in fact, she found him quite tedious! The fantastic, vague northern elements in his stories felt too distant from her clear, southern nature. “It’s all fairy tales, all written for kids!” she said with a bit of disdain. She also had a vague sense that Hoffmann lacked poetry. However, there was one story of his, the title of which she had forgotten, that she really liked; to be more precise, she only liked the beginning of it; she either hadn't read or couldn’t remember the end. The story was about a young man who, in some place—perhaps a restaurant—meets a stunning girl, a Greek. She’s accompanied by a mysterious, strange, wicked old man. The young man falls in love with the girl at first sight; she looks at him so sadly, as if pleading for him to save her…. He steps out for a moment, and when he returns to the restaurant, he finds both the girl and the old man gone; he rushes off in search of her, constantly finding new clues about her, but he can never track her down. The beautiful girl has vanished from his life forever, and he can’t forget her desperate glance, tormented by the thought that perhaps all the happiness of his life has slipped through his fingers.
Hoffmann does not end his story quite in that way; but so it had taken shape, so it had remained, in Gemma’s memory.
Hoffmann doesn’t wrap up his story exactly like that; but that’s how it took form, and that’s how it stayed in Gemma’s memory.
“I fancy,” she said, “such meetings and such partings happen oftener in the world than we suppose.”
“I think,” she said, “that these kinds of meetings and goodbyes happen more often in the world than we realize.”
Sanin was silent … and soon after he began talking … of Herr Klüber. It was the first time he had referred to him; he had not once remembered him till that instant.
Sanin was quiet … and soon after he started talking … about Mr. Klüber. It was the first time he mentioned him; he hadn’t thought of him at all until that moment.
Gemma was silent in her turn, and sank into thought, biting the nail of her forefinger and fixing her eyes away. Then she began to speak in praise of her betrothed, alluded to the excursion he had planned for the next day, and, glancing swiftly at Sanin, was silent again.
Gemma was quiet as well, lost in thought, biting her forefinger's nail and looking away. Then she started talking about her fiancé, mentioning the trip he had organized for the next day, and, glancing quickly at Sanin, fell silent again.
Sanin did not know on what subject to turn the conversation.
Sanin didn't know what topic to steer the conversation toward.
Emil ran in noisily and waked Frau Lenore … Sanin was relieved by his appearance.
Emil burst in loudly and woke up Frau Lenore… Sanin felt relieved to see him.
Frau Lenore got up from her low chair. Pantaleone came in and announced that dinner was ready. The friend of the family, ex-singer, and servant also performed the duties of cook.
Frau Lenore stood up from her low chair. Pantaleone walked in and said that dinner was ready. The family friend, a former singer, also worked as their servant and cooked for them.
XIII
Sanin stayed on after dinner too. They did not let him go, still on the same pretext of the terrible heat; and when the heat began to decrease, they proposed going out into the garden to drink coffee in the shade of the acacias. Sanin consented. He felt very happy. In the quietly monotonous, smooth current of life lie hid great delights, and he gave himself up to these delights with zest, asking nothing much of the present day, but also thinking nothing of the morrow, nor recalling the day before. How much the mere society of such a girl as Gemma meant to him! He would shortly part from her and, most likely, for ever; but so long as they were borne, as in Uhland’s song, in one skiff over the sea of life, untossed by tempest, well might the traveller rejoice and be glad. And everything seemed sweet and delightful to the happy voyager. Frau Lenore offered to play against him and Pantaleone at “tresette,” instructed him in this not complicated Italian game, and won a few kreutzers from him, and he was well content. Pantaleone, at Emil’s request, made the poodle, Tartaglia, perform all his tricks, and Tartaglia jumped over a stick “spoke,” that is, barked, sneezed, shut the door with his nose, fetched his master’s trodden-down slippers; and, finally, with an old cap on his head, he portrayed Marshal Bernadotte, subjected to the bitterest upbraidings by the Emperor Napoleon on account of his treachery. Napoleon’s part was, of course, performed by Pantaleone, and very faithfully he performed it: he folded his arms across his chest, pulled a cocked hat over his eyes, and spoke very gruffly and sternly, in French—and heavens! what French! Tartaglia sat before his sovereign, all huddled up, with dejected tail, and eyes blinking and twitching in confusion, under the peak of his cap which was stuck on awry; from time to time when Napoleon raised his voice, Bernadotte rose on his hind paws. “Fuori, traditore!” cried Napoleon at last, forgetting in the excess of his wrath that he had to sustain his rôle as a Frenchman to the end; and Bernadotte promptly flew under the sofa, but quickly darted out again with a joyful bark, as though to announce that the performance was over. All the spectators laughed, and Sanin more than all.
Sanin stayed after dinner too. They wouldn’t let him leave, still using the excuse of the terrible heat; and as the heat started to fade, they suggested going out to the garden to drink coffee under the shade of the acacias. Sanin agreed. He felt very happy. In the calm, steady flow of life, there are great pleasures hidden, and he immersed himself in these joys, not asking much of the present day, nor worrying about tomorrow, or remembering the day before. The mere company of a girl like Gemma meant so much to him! He would soon part from her, likely forever; but as long as they were together, like in Uhland’s song, in one skiff floating over the sea of life, untouched by storms, the traveler could well rejoice and be happy. And everything felt sweet and delightful to the joyful traveler. Frau Lenore offered to play “tresette” against him and Pantaleone, taught him this straightforward Italian game, and won a few kreutzers from him, which he accepted happily. Pantaleone, at Emil’s request, made the poodle, Tartaglia, perform all his tricks, and Tartaglia jumped over a stick, barked, sneezed, shut the door with his nose, fetched his owner's scuffed slippers, and finally, wearing an old cap on his head, he acted like Marshal Bernadotte, enduring Napoleon’s harshest reprimands for his betrayal. Pantaleone played Napoleon, and he did it convincingly: arms crossed over his chest, a cocked hat pulled down over his eyes, speaking very gruffly and sternly, in French—and wow! what French! Tartaglia sat before his master, all curled up, with a sad tail and twitching eyes under the crooked cap; every time Napoleon raised his voice, Bernadotte stood on his hind legs. “Fuori, traditore!” Napoleon shouted finally, forgetting in his rage that he had to keep up the role of a Frenchman; and Bernadotte quickly dashed under the sofa, but soon popped out again with a joyful bark, as if to say the show was over. Everyone laughed, and Sanin laughed the hardest.
Gemma had a particularly charming, continual, soft laugh, with very droll little shrieks…. Sanin was fairly enchanted by that laugh—he could have kissed her for those shrieks!
Gemma had a particularly charming, continuous, soft laugh, with very funny little shrieks…. Sanin was quite enchanted by that laugh—he could have kissed her for those shrieks!
Night came on at last. He had in decency to take leave! After saying good-bye several times over to every one, and repeating several times to all, “till to-morrow!”—Emil he went so far as to kiss—Sanin started home, carrying with him the image of the young girl, at one time laughing, at another thoughtful, calm, and even indifferent—but always attractive! Her eyes, at one time wide open, clear and bright as day, at another time half shrouded by the lashes and deep and dark as night, seemed to float before his eyes, piercing in a strange sweet way across all other images and recollections.
Night finally arrived. He really should have taken his leave! After saying goodbye several times to everyone and repeating "until tomorrow!" to all, he even kissed Emil. Sanin began his journey home, carrying with him the image of the young girl—sometimes laughing, other times thoughtful, calm, and even indifferent—but always captivating! Her eyes, at one moment wide open, clear and bright as day, and at another time half-hidden by her lashes and deep and dark as night, seemed to hover before him, oddly piercing through all other images and memories.
Of Herr Klüber, of the causes impelling him to remain in Frankfort—in short, of everything that had disturbed his mind the evening before—he never thought once.
Of Mr. Klüber, of the reasons that made him stay in Frankfurt—in short, of everything that had troubled his mind the night before—he never thought about it even once.
XIV
We must, however, say a few words about Sanin himself.
We should, however, say a few things about Sanin himself.
In the first place, he was very, very good-looking. A handsome, graceful figure, agreeable, rather unformed features, kindly bluish eyes, golden hair, a clear white and red skin, and, above all, that peculiar, naïvely-cheerful, confiding, open, at the first glance, somewhat foolish expression, by which in former days one could recognise directly the children of steady-going, noble families, “sons of their fathers,” fine young landowners, born and reared in our open, half-wild country parts,—a hesitating gait, a voice with a lisp, a smile like a child’s the minute you looked at him … lastly, freshness, health, softness, softness, softness,—there you have the whole of Sanin. And secondly, he was not stupid and had picked up a fair amount of knowledge. Fresh he had remained, for all his foreign tour; the disturbing emotions in which the greater part of the young people of that day were tempest-tossed were very little known to him.
In the first place, he was very, very good-looking. A handsome, graceful figure, pleasant, somewhat undefined features, kind bluish eyes, golden hair, clear fair skin, and, above all, that peculiar, naively cheerful, trusting, open, somewhat foolish expression that used to instantly identify the children of steady, noble families—“sons of their fathers,” fine young landowners, raised in our open, semi-wild country areas—a hesitant walk, a lisping voice, a childlike smile as soon as you looked at him… finally, freshness, health, softness, softness, softness—there you have the essence of Sanin. And secondly, he wasn’t stupid and had acquired a decent amount of knowledge. He had remained fresh, despite his time abroad; the troubling emotions that overwhelmed most young people of that era were largely unknown to him.
Of late years, in response to the assiduous search for “new types,” young men have begun to appear in our literature, determined at all hazards to be “fresh”… as fresh as Flensburg oysters, when they reach Petersburg…. Sanin was not like them. Since we have had recourse already to simile, he rather recalled a young, leafy, freshly-grafted apple-tree in one of our fertile orchards—or better still, a well-groomed, sleek, sturdy-limbed, tender young “three-year-old” in some old-fashioned seignorial stud stable, a young horse that they have hardly begun to break in to the traces…. Those who came across Sanin in later years, when life had knocked him about a good deal, and the sleekness and plumpness of youth had long vanished, saw in him a totally different man.
In recent years, in response to the constant search for “new types,” young men have started showing up in our literature, eager at all costs to be “unique”… as unique as Flensburg oysters when they reach Petersburg…. Sanin was not like them. Since we've already used a comparison, he more resembled a young, leafy, freshly-grafted apple tree in one of our fertile orchards—or even better, a well-groomed, sleek, sturdy young “three-year-old” in some traditional estate stable, a young horse that they’ve barely started to train for work…. Those who encountered Sanin in later years, after life had worn him down considerably, and the smoothness and plumpness of youth had long disappeared, saw a completely different man.
Next day Sanin was still in bed when Emil, in his best clothes, with a cane in his hand and much pomade on his head, burst into his room, announcing that Herr Klüber would be here directly with the carriage, that the weather promised to be exquisite, that they had everything ready by now, but that mamma was not going, as her head was bad again. He began to hurry Sanin, telling him that there was not a minute to lose…. And Herr Klüber did, in fact, find Sanin still at his toilet. He knocked at the door, came in, bowed with a bend from the waist, expressed his readiness to wait as long as might be desired, and sat down, his hat balanced elegantly on his knees. The handsome shop-manager had got himself up and perfumed himself to excess: his every action was accompanied by a powerful whiff of the most refined aroma. He arrived in a comfortable open carriage—one of the kind called landau—drawn by two tall and powerful but not well-shaped horses. A quarter of an hour later Sanin, Klüber, and Emil, in this same carriage, drew up triumphantly at the steps of the confectioner’s shop. Madame Roselli resolutely refused to join the party; Gemma wanted to stay with her mother; but she simply turned her out.
The next day, Sanin was still in bed when Emil, dressed to the nines, cane in hand and a lot of pomade in his hair, burst into his room, announcing that Herr Klüber would be arriving shortly with the carriage, that the weather was looking great, and that everything was ready, but that Mama wasn’t going since her head was acting up again. He started to rush Sanin, telling him there was no time to waste…. And Herr Klüber did, in fact, find Sanin still getting ready. He knocked on the door, came in, bowed with a slight bend from the waist, said he was happy to wait as long as needed, and sat down, his hat elegantly balanced on his knees. The dapper shop manager had dressed up and over-perfumed himself: every move he made wafted a strong scent of the finest fragrance. He arrived in a comfortable open carriage—one of those called a landau—pulled by two tall and powerful but not very good-looking horses. A quarter of an hour later, Sanin, Klüber, and Emil, in that same carriage, pulled up triumphantly at the steps of the bakery. Madame Roselli firmly refused to join the group; Gemma wanted to stay with her mother, but she simply kicked her out.
“I don’t want any one,” she declared; “I shall go to sleep. I would send Pantaleone with you too, only there would be no one to mind the shop.”
“I don’t want anyone,” she said; “I’m going to sleep. I would send Pantaleone with you too, but then there would be no one to mind the shop.”
“May we take Tartaglia?” asked Emil.
"Can we take Tartaglia?" asked Emil.
“Of course you may.”
"Sure, go ahead."
Tartaglia immediately scrambled, with delighted struggles, on to the box and sat there, licking himself; it was obviously a thing he was accustomed to. Gemma put on a large straw hat with brown ribbons; the hat was bent down in front, so as to shade almost the whole of her face from the sun. The line of shadow stopped just at her lips; they wore a tender maiden flush, like the petals of a centifoil rose, and her teeth gleamed stealthily—innocently too, as when children smile. Gemma sat facing the horses, with Sanin; Klüber and Emil sat opposite. The pale face of Frau Lenore appeared at the window; Gemma waved her handkerchief to her, and the horses started.
Tartaglia quickly scrambled onto the box with joyful effort and sat there, licking himself; it was clearly something he was used to. Gemma put on a big straw hat with brown ribbons; the hat was tilted down in the front to shield almost her entire face from the sun. The shade stopped just at her lips; they had a delicate, youthful blush, like the petals of a centifoil rose, and her teeth shone subtly—innocently, like when children smile. Gemma sat facing the horses next to Sanin; Klüber and Emil sat across from them. The pale face of Frau Lenore appeared at the window; Gemma waved her handkerchief, and the horses began to move.
XV
Soden is a little town half an hour’s distance from Frankfort. It lies in a beautiful country among the spurs of the Taunus Mountains, and is known among us in Russia for its waters, which are supposed to be beneficial to people with weak lungs. The Frankforters visit it more for purposes of recreation, as Soden possesses a fine park and various “wirthschaften,” where one may drink beer and coffee in the shade of the tall limes and maples. The road from Frankfort to Soden runs along the right bank of the Maine, and is planted all along with fruit trees. While the carriage was rolling slowly along an excellent road, Sanin stealthily watched how Gemma behaved to her betrothed; it was the first time he had seen them together. She was quiet and simple in her manner, but rather more reserved and serious than usual; he had the air of a condescending schoolmaster, permitting himself and those under his authority a discreet and decorous pleasure. Sanin saw no signs in him of any marked attentiveness, of what the French call “empressement,” in his demeanour to Gemma. It was clear that Herr Klüber considered that it was a matter settled once for all, and that therefore he saw no reason to trouble or excite himself. But his condescension never left him for an instant! Even during a long ramble before dinner about the wooded hills and valleys behind Soden, even when enjoying the beauties of nature, he treated nature itself with the same condescension, through which his habitual magisterial severity peeped out from time to time. So, for example, he observed in regard to one stream that it ran too straight through the glade, instead of making a few picturesque curves; he disapproved, too, of the conduct of a bird—a chaffinch—for singing so monotonously. Gemma was not bored, and even, apparently, was enjoying herself; but Sanin did not recognise her as the Gemma of the preceding days; it was not that she seemed under a cloud—her beauty had never been more dazzling—but her soul seemed to have withdrawn into herself. With her parasol open and her gloves still buttoned up, she walked sedately, deliberately, as well-bred young girls walk, and spoke little. Emil, too, felt stiff, and Sanin more so than all. He was somewhat embarrassed too by the fact that the conversation was all the time in German. Only Tartaglia was in high spirits! He darted, barking frantically, after blackbirds, leaped over ravines, stumps and roots, rushed headlong into the water, lapped at it in desperate haste, shook himself, whining, and was off like an arrow, his red tongue trailing after him almost to his shoulder. Herr Klüber, for his part, did everything he supposed conducive to the mirthfulness of the company; he begged them to sit down in the shade of a spreading oak-tree, and taking out of a side pocket a small booklet entitled, “Knallerbsen; oder du sollst und wirst lachen!” (Squibs; or you must and shall laugh!) began reading the funny anecdotes of which the little book was full. He read them twelve specimens; he aroused very little mirth, however; only Sanin smiled, from politeness, and he himself, Herr Klüber, after each anecdote, gave vent to a brief, business-like, but still condescending laugh. At twelve o’clock the whole party returned to Soden to the best tavern there.
Soden is a small town about half an hour from Frankfurt. It’s set in a lovely area near the foothills of the Taunus Mountains and is famous in Russia for its waters, believed to be good for people with weak lungs. People from Frankfurt come here mainly for leisure, as Soden has a beautiful park and various places where you can enjoy beer and coffee in the shade of the tall linden and maple trees. The road from Frankfurt to Soden follows the right bank of the Main River, lined with fruit trees. As the carriage rolled slowly along the excellent road, Sanin secretly observed how Gemma acted with her fiancé; it was the first time he had seen them together. She was calm and straightforward but seemed more reserved and serious than usual; he carried himself like a patronizing schoolmaster, allowing himself and those around him a restrained and proper enjoyment. Sanin noticed no signs of the eagerness that the French refer to as “empressement” in Herr Klüber’s behavior towards Gemma. It was clear that Herr Klüber felt everything was already settled, so he saw no reason to fuss or get excited. Yet his air of superiority never left him! Even during a long walk before dinner through the wooded hills and valleys behind Soden, even while appreciating nature’s beauty, he treated it with the same condescension that occasionally revealed his usual authoritative seriousness. For instance, he remarked that a certain stream ran too straight through the clearing instead of making a few picturesque bends; he also criticized a chaffinch for singing too monotonously. Gemma didn’t seem bored and appeared to be enjoying herself, but Sanin didn’t see her as the same Gemma from earlier; it wasn’t that she looked unhappy—her beauty was more radiant than ever—but her spirit seemed withdrawn. With her parasol open and her gloves still buttoned, she walked gracefully and purposefully, like well-bred young ladies do, and spoke very little. Emil also seemed stiff, but Sanin felt even more awkward. He was also somewhat embarrassed that the conversation was conducted entirely in German. Only Tartaglia was lively! He dashed around barking excitedly at blackbirds, leaped over ditches, stumps, and roots, rushed into the water, drank frantically, shook himself off while whining, and took off like an arrow, his red tongue hanging out almost to his shoulder. Herr Klüber, for his part, did everything he thought would cheer everyone up; he invited them to sit in the shade of a spreading oak tree, and pulled out a small booklet from his pocket titled, “Knallerbsen; oder du sollst und wirst lachen!” (Squibs; or you must and shall laugh!) and began reading the funny stories it contained. He read twelve examples, but they elicited very little laughter; only Sanin smiled out of politeness, and Herr Klüber himself chuckled briefly after each story, maintaining his patronizing demeanor. At noon, the whole group returned to Soden to the best tavern there.
They had to make arrangements about dinner. Herr Klüber proposed that the dinner should be served in a summer-house closed in on all sides—“im Gartensalon”; but at this point Gemma rebelled and declared that she would have dinner in the open air, in the garden, at one of the little tables set before the tavern; that she was tired of being all the while with the same faces, and she wanted to see fresh ones. At some of the little tables, groups of visitors were already sitting.
They needed to make plans for dinner. Mr. Klüber suggested that dinner be served in a summer house that's enclosed on all sides—“im Gartensalon”; but at this point Gemma protested and said she wanted to have dinner outside, in the garden, at one of the little tables in front of the tavern; she was tired of always being around the same people and wanted to see some new faces. Some of the little tables already had groups of visitors sitting at them.
While Herr Klüber, yielding condescendingly to “the caprice of his betrothed,” went off to interview the head waiter, Gemma stood immovable, biting her lips and looking on the ground; she was conscious that Sanin was persistently and, as it were, inquiringly looking at her—it seemed to enrage her. At last Herr Klüber returned, announced that dinner would be ready in half an hour, and proposed their employing the interval in a game of skittles, adding that this was very good for the appetite, he, he, he! Skittles he played in masterly fashion; as he threw the ball, he put himself into amazingly heroic postures, with artistic play of the muscles, with artistic flourish and shake of the leg. In his own way he was an athlete—and was superbly built! His hands, too, were so white and handsome, and he wiped them on such a sumptuous, gold-striped, Indian bandana!
While Herr Klüber, condescendingly giving in to “the whims of his fiancée,” went off to talk to the head waiter, Gemma stood still, biting her lips and staring at the ground; she was aware that Sanin was continuously and, it seemed, curiously looking at her—it seemed to infuriate her. Finally, Herr Klüber returned, announced that dinner would be ready in half an hour, and suggested they use the time to play a game of skittles, adding that it was great for the appetite, ha ha! He played skittles like a pro; as he threw the ball, he struck impressively heroic poses, showcasing his muscles with artistic flair and leg shakes. In his own way, he was an athlete—and he was exceptionally built! His hands were so nice and white, and he wiped them on such a lavish, gold-striped Indian bandana!
The moment of dinner arrived, and the whole party seated themselves at the table.
The moment dinner arrived, everyone sat down at the table.
XVI
Who does not know what a German dinner is like? Watery soup with knobby dumplings and pieces of cinnamon, boiled beef dry as cork, with white fat attached, slimy potatoes, soft beetroot and mashed horseradish, a bluish eel with French capers and vinegar, a roast joint with jam, and the inevitable “Mehlspeise,” something of the nature of a pudding with sourish red sauce; but to make up, the beer and wine first-rate! With just such a dinner the tavernkeeper at Soden regaled his customers. The dinner, itself, however, went off satisfactorily. No special liveliness was perceptible, certainly; not even when Herr Klüber proposed the toast “What we like!” (Was wir lieben!) But at least everything was decorous and seemly. After dinner, coffee was served, thin, reddish, typically German coffee. Herr Klüber, with true gallantry, asked Gemma’s permission to smoke a cigar…. But at this point suddenly something occurred, unexpected, and decidedly unpleasant, and even unseemly!
Who doesn’t know what a German dinner is like? Watery soup with chunky dumplings and bits of cinnamon, tough boiled beef with white fat clinging to it, slimy potatoes, soft beetroot, and mashed horseradish, a bluish eel with French capers and vinegar, a roast joint with jam, and the unavoidable “Mehlspeise,” something like a pudding with a tangy red sauce; but to make up for it, the beer and wine were top-notch! With just such a dinner, the tavern keeper at Soden treated his customers. The dinner itself went off well, though there was no special liveliness, not even when Herr Klüber proposed the toast “What we like!” (Was wir lieben!) But at least everything was proper and respectable. After dinner, coffee was served, thin, reddish, typically German coffee. Herr Klüber, with true gallantry, asked Gemma’s permission to smoke a cigar…. But at that moment, something unexpected and quite unpleasant, even inappropriate, happened!
At one of the tables near were sitting several officers of the garrison of the Maine. From their glances and whispering together it was easy to perceive that they were struck by Gemma’s beauty; one of them, who had probably stayed in Frankfort, stared at her persistently, as at a figure familiar to him; he obviously knew who she was. He suddenly got up, and glass in hand—all the officers had been drinking hard, and the cloth before them was crowded with bottles—approached the table at which Gemma was sitting. He was a very young flaxen-haired man, with a rather pleasing and even attractive face, but his features were distorted with the wine he had drunk, his cheeks were twitching, his blood-shot eyes wandered, and wore an insolent expression. His companions at first tried to hold him back, but afterwards let him go, interested apparently to see what he would do, and how it would end. Slightly unsteady on his legs, the officer stopped before Gemma, and in an unnaturally screaming voice, in which, in spite of himself, an inward struggle could be discerned, he articulated, “I drink to the health of the prettiest confectioner in all Frankfort, in all the world (he emptied his glass), and in return I take this flower, picked by her divine little fingers!” He took from the table a rose that lay beside Gemma’s plate. At first she was astonished, alarmed, and turned fearfully white … then alarm was replaced by indignation; she suddenly crimsoned all over, to her very hair—and her eyes, fastened directly on the offender, at the same time darkened and flamed, they were filled with black gloom, and burned with the fire of irrepressible fury. The officer must have been confused by this look; he muttered something unintelligible, bowed, and walked back to his friends. They greeted him with a laugh, and faint applause.
At one of the tables nearby, several officers from the garrison of the Maine were sitting. From their glances and whispers, it was clear they were taken aback by Gemma’s beauty; one of them, who had likely spent time in Frankfort, kept staring at her as if she were someone he recognized. He clearly knew who she was. Suddenly, he stood up, glass in hand—after all, the officers had been drinking heavily, and the table was littered with bottles—and walked over to the table where Gemma sat. He was a very young guy with light hair, a somewhat pleasant and even attractive face, but his features were distorted from the alcohol he had consumed. His cheeks were twitching, his bloodshot eyes were wandering around, and he had a cocky look on his face. His friends initially tried to hold him back but eventually let him go, seemingly curious to see how it would play out. Slightly unsteady on his feet, the officer stopped in front of Gemma and, in an unnaturally loud voice, with an internal struggle obvious in his tone, he declared, “I toast to the health of the prettiest confectioner in all of Frankfort, in all the world!” (He drained his glass.) “And in return, I take this flower, picked by her divine little fingers!” He grabbed a rose from the table that was next to Gemma's plate. At first, she was shocked and alarmed, turning pale with fear. Then, her alarm turned into anger; she flushed deeply all the way to her roots, and her eyes, locked directly on the offender, darkened and burned with an intense fury. The officer must have been thrown off by her expression; he muttered something unintelligible, bowed, and returned to his friends. They greeted him with laughter and light applause.
Herr Klüber rose spasmodically from his seat, drew himself up to his full height, and putting on his hat pronounced with dignity, but not too loud, “Unheard of! Unheard of! Unheard of impertinence!” and at once calling up the waiter, in a severe voice asked for the bill … more than that, ordered the carriage to be put to, adding that it was impossible for respectable people to frequent the establishment if they were exposed to insult! At those words Gemma, who still sat in her place without stirring—her bosom was heaving violently—Gemma raised her eyes to Herr Klüber … and she gazed as intently, with the same expression at him as at the officer. Emil was simply shaking with rage.
Herr Klüber got up abruptly from his seat, stood tall, and put on his hat, saying with dignity, but not too loudly, “Unbelievable! Unbelievable! Unbelievable rudeness!” He immediately called the waiter over and, in a stern voice, asked for the bill. Furthermore, he ordered the carriage to be brought around, insisting that it was unacceptable for respectable people to visit the establishment if they faced such insults! At those words, Gemma, who remained seated without moving—her chest rising and falling rapidly—looked up at Herr Klüber, staring at him with the same intensity and expression she had directed at the officer. Emil was simply trembling with anger.
“Get up, mein Fräulein,” Klüber admonished her with the same severity, “it is not proper for you to remain here. We will go inside, in the tavern!”
“Get up, my lady,” Klüber urged her with the same seriousness, “it’s not appropriate for you to stay here. We’ll go inside, to the tavern!”
Gemma rose in silence; he offered her his arm, she gave him hers, and he walked into the tavern with a majestic step, which became, with his whole bearing, more majestic and haughty the farther he got from the place where they had dined. Poor Emil dragged himself after them.
Gemma stood up quietly; he offered her his arm, and she took his. He strode into the tavern with a grand step, which, along with his overall demeanor, became even more dignified and proud the farther he moved away from where they had eaten. Poor Emil followed behind them, dragging himself along.
But while Herr Klüber was settling up with the waiter, to whom, by way of punishment, he gave not a single kreutzer for himself, Sanin with rapid steps approached the table at which the officers were sitting, and addressing Gemma’s assailant, who was at that instant offering her rose to his companions in turns to smell, he uttered very distinctly in French, “What you have just done, sir, is conduct unworthy of an honest man, unworthy of the uniform you wear, and I have come to tell you you are an ill-bred cur!” The young man leaped on to his feet, but another officer, rather older, checked him with a gesture, made him sit down, and turning to Sanin asked him also in French, “Was he a relation, brother, or betrothed of the girl?”
But while Mr. Klüber was paying the waiter, to whom, as punishment, he didn’t give a single kreutzer for himself, Sanin quickly walked over to the table where the officers were sitting. He addressed Gemma’s attacker, who was at that moment offering his rose for his friends to smell, and said very clearly in French, “What you just did, sir, is behavior unworthy of an honest man, unworthy of the uniform you wear, and I’ve come to tell you that you’re a rude jerk!” The young man jumped to his feet, but another officer, who was a bit older, stopped him with a gesture, made him sit down, and turned to Sanin, asking in French, “Was he a relative, brother, or fiancé of the girl?”
“I am nothing to her at all,” cried Sanin, “I am a Russian, but I cannot look on at such insolence with indifference; but here is my card and my address; monsieur l’officier can find me.”
“I mean nothing to her at all,” Sanin exclaimed, “I’m Russian, but I can’t just watch this arrogance without reacting; here’s my card and my address; monsieur l’officier can reach me.”
As he uttered these words, Sanin threw his visiting-card on the table, and at the same moment hastily snatched Gemma’s rose, which one of the officers sitting at the table had dropped into his plate. The young man was again on the point of jumping up from the table, but his companion again checked him, saying, “Dönhof, be quiet! Dönhof, sit still.” Then he got up himself, and putting his hand to the peak of his cap, with a certain shade of respectfulness in his voice and manner, told Sanin that to-morrow morning an officer of the regiment would have the honour of calling upon him. Sanin replied with a short bow, and hurriedly returned to his friends.
As he said this, Sanin tossed his business card onto the table and quickly grabbed Gemma’s rose, which one of the officers sitting there had dropped into his plate. The young man was about to spring up from the table again, but his friend held him back, saying, “Dönhof, calm down! Dönhof, sit still.” Then he stood up himself, tipped his cap slightly, and with a respectful tone, informed Sanin that an officer from the regiment would be stopping by to see him tomorrow morning. Sanin responded with a brief nod and hurried back to his friends.
Herr Klüber pretended he had not noticed either Sanin’s absence nor his interview with the officers; he was urging on the coachman, who was putting in the horses, and was furiously angry at his deliberateness. Gemma too said nothing to Sanin, she did not even look at him; from her knitted brows, from her pale and compressed lips, from her very immobility it could be seen that she was suffering inwardly. Only Emil obviously wanted to speak to Sanin, wanted to question him; he had seen Sanin go up to the officers, he had seen him give them something white—a scrap of paper, a note, or a card…. The poor boy’s heart was beating, his cheeks burned, he was ready to throw himself on Sanin’s neck, ready to cry, or to go with him at once to crush all those accursed officers into dust and ashes! He controlled himself, however, and did no more than watch intently every movement of his noble Russian friend.
Herr Klüber pretended he hadn't noticed Sanin's absence or his interaction with the officers; he was urging the coachman, who was harnessing the horses, and was furious at his slow pace. Gemma also said nothing to Sanin, nor did she even look at him; from her knitted brows, her pale, tight lips, and her complete stillness, it was clear she was suffering inside. Only Emil clearly wanted to talk to Sanin, wanted to ask him questions; he had seen Sanin approach the officers, and he had seen him hand them something white—a scrap of paper, a note, or a card…. The poor boy's heart was racing, his cheeks were burning, and he felt ready to throw himself around Sanin's neck, to cry, or to go with him immediately to crush all those cursed officers into dust! He held himself back, though, and did nothing more than watch intently every move of his noble Russian friend.
The coachman had at last harnessed the horses; the whole party seated themselves in the carriage. Emil climbed on to the box, after Tartaglia; he was more comfortable there, and had not Klüber, whom he could hardly bear the sight of, sitting opposite to him.
The coachman had finally harnessed the horses; the whole group got into the carriage. Emil climbed onto the box after Tartaglia; he felt more comfortable there and didn’t have Klüber, whose presence he could hardly stand, sitting across from him.
The whole way home Herr Klüber discoursed … and he discoursed alone; no one, absolutely no one, opposed him, nor did any one agree with him. He especially insisted on the point that they had been wrong in not following his advice when he suggested dining in a shut-up summer-house. There no unpleasantness could have occurred! Then he expressed a few decided and even liberal sentiments on the unpardonable way in which the government favoured the military, neglected their discipline, and did not sufficiently consider the civilian element in society (das bürgerliche Element in der Societät!), and foretold that in time this cause would give rise to discontent, which might well pass into revolution, of which (here he dropped a sympathetic though severe sigh) France had given them a sorrowful example! He added, however, that he personally had the greatest respect for authority, and never … no, never!… could be a revolutionist—but he could not but express his … disapprobation at the sight of such licence! Then he made a few general observations on morality and immorality, good-breeding, and the sense of dignity.
The whole way home, Herr Klüber talked … and he talked alone; no one, absolutely no one, challenged him, nor did anyone agree with him. He insisted especially that they had been wrong not to take his advice to dine in a closed summer house. There, no unpleasantness could have happened! Then he shared a few strong and even progressive opinions on how the government unfairly favored the military, neglected their discipline, and didn’t give enough thought to the civilian aspect of society (das bürgerliche Element in der Societät!), predicting that eventually this would lead to discontent, which might well escalate into a revolution, of which (here he let out a sympathetic yet serious sigh) France had given them a sad example! He added, though, that he personally had the utmost respect for authority and could never … no, never!... be a revolutionary—but he couldn’t help but express his … disapproval at the sight of such lawlessness! Then he made a few general remarks about morality and immorality, good manners, and a sense of dignity.
During all these lucubrations, Gemma, who even while they were walking before dinner had not seemed quite pleased with Herr Klüber, and had therefore held rather aloof from Sanin, and had been, as it were, embarrassed by his presence—Gemma was unmistakably ashamed of her betrothed! Towards the end of the drive she was positively wretched, and though, as before, she did not address a word to Sanin, she suddenly flung an imploring glance at him…. He, for his part, felt much more sorry for her than indignant with Herr Klüber; he was even secretly, half-consciously, delighted at what had happened in the course of that day, even though he had every reason to expect a challenge next morning.
During all this thinking, Gemma, who had seemed a bit unhappy with Herr Klüber while they were walking before dinner, had kept her distance from Sanin and looked uncomfortable with him around—Gemma was clearly embarrassed by her fiancé! By the end of the drive, she was really distressed, and although she still didn’t say a word to Sanin, she suddenly shot him a pleading glance.... He, for his part, felt more sympathy for her than anger towards Herr Klüber; he was even secretly, somewhat consciously, pleased about what had happened that day, even though he had every reason to expect a challenge the next morning.
This miserable partie de plaisir came to an end at last. As he helped Gemma out of the carriage at the confectionery shop, Sanin without a word put into her hand the rose he had recovered. She flushed crimson, pressed his hand, and instantly hid the rose. He did not want to go into the house, though the evening was only just beginning. She did not even invite him. Moreover Pantaleone, who came out on the steps, announced that Frau Lenore was asleep. Emil took a shy good-bye of Sanin; he felt as it were in awe of him; he greatly admired him. Klüber saw Sanin to his lodging, and took leave of him stiffly. The well-regulated German, for all his self-confidence, felt awkward. And indeed every one felt awkward.
This sad little partie de plaisir finally wrapped up. As he helped Gemma out of the carriage at the sweet shop, Sanin silently placed the rose he had found into her hand. She blushed, squeezed his hand, and quickly tucked the rose away. He was reluctant to go inside, even though the night was still young. She didn’t even ask him to stay. Plus, Pantaleone, who appeared on the steps, said that Frau Lenore was asleep. Emil shyly said goodbye to Sanin; he seemed a bit in awe of him and looked up to him a lot. Klüber walked Sanin to his accommodation and departed in a formal manner. The well-organized German, despite his confidence, felt uncomfortable. In fact, everyone felt a bit uneasy.
But in Sanin this feeling of awkwardness soon passed off. It was replaced by a vague, but pleasant, even triumphant feeling. He walked up and down his room, whistling, and not caring to think about anything, and was very well pleased with himself.
But in Sanin, this sense of awkwardness quickly faded away. It was replaced by a vague but pleasant, even triumphant feeling. He paced back and forth in his room, whistling and not bothering to think about anything, feeling very pleased with himself.
XVII
“I will wait for the officer’s visit till ten o’clock,” he reflected next morning, as he dressed, “and then let him come and look for me!” But Germans rise early: it had not yet struck nine when the waiter informed Sanin that the Herr Seconde Lieutenant von Richter wished to see him. Sanin made haste to put on his coat, and told him to ask him up. Herr Richter turned out, contrary to Sanin’s expectation, to be a very young man, almost a boy. He tried to give an expression of dignity to his beardless face, but did not succeed at all: he could not even conceal his embarrassment, and as he sat down on a chair, he tripped over his sword, and almost fell. Stammering and hesitating, he announced to Sanin in bad French that he had come with a message from his friend, Baron von Dönhof; that this message was to demand from Herr von Sanin an apology for the insulting expressions used by him on the previous day; and in case of refusal on the part of Herr von Sanin, Baron von Dönhof would ask for satisfaction. Sanin replied that he did not mean to apologise, but was ready to give him satisfaction. Then Herr von Richter, still with the same hesitation, asked with whom, at what time and place, should he arrange the necessary preliminaries. Sanin answered that he might come to him in two hours’ time, and that meanwhile, he, Sanin, would try and find a second. (“Who the devil is there I can have for a second?” he was thinking to himself meantime.) Herr von Richter got up and began to take leave … but at the doorway he stopped, as though stung by a prick of conscience, and turning to Sanin observed that his friend, Baron von Dönhof, could not but recognise … that he had been … to a certain extent, to blame himself in the incident of the previous day, and would, therefore, be satisfied with slight apologies (“des exghizes léchères.”) To this Sanin replied that he did not intend to make any apology whatever, either slight or considerable, since he did not consider himself to blame. “In that case,” answered Herr von Richter, blushing more than ever, “you will have to exchange friendly shots—des goups de bisdolet à l’amiaple!”
“I'll wait for the officer's visit until ten o'clock,” he thought the next morning as he got dressed, “and then let him come and find me!” But Germans wake up early: it wasn't even nine yet when the waiter informed Sanin that Herr Second Lieutenant von Richter wanted to see him. Sanin quickly put on his coat and told the waiter to bring him up. Herr Richter turned out, against Sanin’s expectations, to be very young, almost a boy. He tried to appear dignified with his clean-shaven face but failed completely: he couldn't hide his embarrassment, and as he sat down, he tripped over his sword and nearly fell. Stammering and hesitating, he told Sanin in poor French that he had come with a message from his friend, Baron von Dönhof; that this message was to demand an apology from Herr von Sanin for the insulting remarks he made the day before; and if Herr von Sanin refused, Baron von Dönhof would seek satisfaction. Sanin replied that he had no intention of apologizing, but was ready to provide satisfaction. Then Herr von Richter, still hesitating, asked with whom, at what time and place, he should arrange the necessary details. Sanin answered that he could come to him in two hours and that in the meantime, he would try to find a second. (“Who the hell can I ask to be my second?” he thought to himself.) Herr von Richter got up and started to leave… but at the doorway, he paused, as if hit by a pang of conscience, and turned to Sanin, mentioning that his friend, Baron von Dönhof, couldn’t help but recognize… that he had been… to some extent, to blame himself in the incident from the previous day, and therefore, would be satisfied with a slight apology (“des exghizes léchères.”) To this, Sanin responded that he didn’t intend to make any apology at all, whether slight or significant, since he didn’t feel he was at fault. “In that case,” Herr von Richter replied, blushing deeper than ever, “you will have to exchange friendly shots—des goups de bisdolet à l’amiaple!”
“I don’t understand that at all,” observed Sanin; “are we to fire in the air or what?”
“I don’t get that at all,” said Sanin; “are we supposed to shoot in the air or what?”
“Oh, not exactly that,” stammered the sub-lieutenant, utterly disconcerted, “but I supposed since it is an affair between men of honour … I will talk to your second,” he broke off, and went away.
“Oh, not exactly that,” stammered the sub-lieutenant, completely flustered, “but I thought since it’s a matter between men of honor… I’ll talk to your second,” he paused, then walked away.
Sanin dropped into a chair directly he had gone, and stared at the floor. “What does it all mean? How is it my life has taken such a turn all of a sudden? All the past, all the future has suddenly vanished, gone,—and all that’s left is that I am going to fight some one about something in Frankfort.” He recalled a crazy aunt of his who used to dance and sing:
Sanin dropped into a chair as soon as he was gone and stared at the floor. “What does it all mean? How has my life changed so suddenly? The past and the future have just disappeared—gone—and all that’s left is that I’m going to fight someone about something in Frankfort.” He remembered a crazy aunt of his who used to dance and sing:
“O my lieutenant!
My little cucumber!
My little love!
Dance with me, my little dove!”
“O my lieutenant!
My little cucumber!
My little love!
Dance with me, my little dove!”
And he laughed and hummed as she used to: “O my lieutenant! Dance with me, little dove!” “But I must act, though, I mustn’t waste time,” he cried aloud—jumped up and saw Pantaleone facing him with a note in his hand.
And he laughed and hummed like she used to: “Oh my lieutenant! Dance with me, little dove!” “But I have to take action; I can’t waste time,” he exclaimed—leaped up and saw Pantaleone in front of him holding a note.
“I knocked several times, but you did not answer; I thought you weren’t at home,” said the old man, as he gave him the note. “From Signorina Gemma.”
“I knocked several times, but you didn’t answer; I thought you weren’t home,” said the old man, handing him the note. “From Miss Gemma.”
Sanin took the note, mechanically, as they say, tore it open, and read it. Gemma wrote to him that she was very anxious—about he knew what—and would be very glad to see him at once.
Sanin took the note, almost automatically, tore it open, and read it. Gemma wrote to him that she was really worried—about what he already knew—and would be very happy to see him right away.
“The Signorina is anxious,” began Pantaleone, who obviously knew what was in the note, “she told me to see what you are doing and to bring you to her.”
“The Signorina is anxious,” Pantaleone said, clearly knowing what was in the note, “she asked me to check on what you’re up to and to bring you to her.”
Sanin glanced at the old Italian, and pondered. A sudden idea flashed upon his brain. For the first instant it struck him as too absurd to be possible.
Sanin looked at the old Italian and thought for a moment. A sudden idea flashed in his mind. For a brief moment, it seemed too ridiculous to be real.
“After all … why not?” he asked himself.
"After all ... why not?" he asked himself.
“M. Pantaleone!” he said aloud.
“M. Pantaleone!” he said out loud.
The old man started, tucked his chin into his cravat and stared at Sanin.
The old man started, tucked his chin into his scarf, and stared at Sanin.
“Do you know,” pursued Sanin, “what happened yesterday?”
“Do you know,” continued Sanin, “what happened yesterday?”
Pantaleone chewed his lips and shook his immense top-knot of hair. “Yes.”
Pantaleone bit his lips and shook his huge top-knot of hair. “Yes.”
(Emil had told him all about it directly he got home.)
(Emil had told him all about it as soon as he got home.)
“Oh, you know! Well, an officer has just this minute left me. That scoundrel challenges me to a duel. I have accepted his challenge. But I have no second. Will you be my second?”
“Oh, you know! Well, an officer just left me a moment ago. That jerk is challenging me to a duel. I've accepted his challenge. But I don't have a second. Will you be my second?”
Pantaleone started and raised his eyebrows so high that they were lost under his overhanging hair.
Pantaleone started and raised his eyebrows so much that they disappeared under his thick hair.
“You are absolutely obliged to fight?” he said at last in Italian; till that instant he had made use of French.
“You really have to fight?” he said finally in Italian; until that moment he had been speaking in French.
“Absolutely. I can’t do otherwise—it would mean disgracing myself for ever.”
“Definitely. I can't do anything else—it would mean humiliating myself forever.”
“H’m. If I don’t consent to be your second you will find some one else.”
"Um. If I don't agree to be your second, you'll find someone else."
“Yes … undoubtedly.”
“Yeah … definitely.”
Pantaleone looked down. “But allow me to ask you, Signor de Tsanin, will not your duel throw a slur on the reputation of a certain lady?”
Pantaleone looked down. “But let me ask you, Signor de Tsanin, won’t your duel cast a shadow on the reputation of a certain lady?”
“I don’t suppose so; but in any case, there’s no help for it.”
“I don’t think so; but either way, it can’t be helped.”
“H’m!” Pantaleone retired altogether into his cravat. “Hey, but that ferroflucto Klüberio—what’s he about?” he cried all of a sudden, looking up again.
“H’m!” Pantaleone pulled his cravat around him completely. “Hey, but what’s that ferroflucto Klüberio all about?” he suddenly exclaimed, looking up again.
“He? Nothing.”
"He's got nothing."
“Che!” Pantaleone shrugged his shoulders contemptuously. “I have, in any case, to thank you,” he articulated at last in an unsteady voice “that even in my present humble condition you recognise that I am a gentleman—un galant’uomo! In that way you have shown yourself to be a real galant’uomo. But I must consider your proposal.”
“Che!” Pantaleone shrugged his shoulders dismissively. “I still have to thank you,” he finally said in a shaky voice, “for recognizing that even in my current humble state, I’m a gentleman—un galant’uomo! In that sense, you’ve proven yourself to be a true galant’uomo. But I need to think about your proposal.”
“There’s no time to lose, dear Signor Ci … cippa …”
“There’s no time to waste, dear Signor Ci … cippa …”
“Tola,” the old man chimed in. “I ask only for one hour for reflection…. The daughter of my benefactor is involved in this…. And, therefore, I ought, I am bound, to reflect!… In an hour, in three-quarters of an hour, you shall know my decision.”
“Tola,” the old man said. “I only need one hour to think… The daughter of my benefactor is involved in this… So, I must, I have to think it over!… In an hour, or even in forty-five minutes, you’ll know my decision.”
“Very well; I will wait.”
“Sure; I'll wait.”
“And now … what answer am I to give to Signorina Gemma?”
“And now ... what should I say to Signorina Gemma?”
Sanin took a sheet of paper, wrote on it, “Set your mind at rest, dear friend; in three hours’ time I will come to you, and everything shall be explained. I thank you from my heart for your sympathy,” and handed this sheet to Pantaleone.
Sanin took a piece of paper, wrote, “Don’t worry, my dear friend; in three hours, I’ll come to you, and everything will be explained. I truly appreciate your support,” and gave this note to Pantaleone.
He put it carefully into his side-pocket, and once more repeating “In an hour!” made towards the door; but turning sharply back, ran up to Sanin, seized his hand, and pressing it to his shirt-front, cried, with his eyes to the ceiling: “Noble youth! Great heart! (Nobil giovanotto! Gran cuore!) permit a weak old man (a un vecchiotto!) to press your valorous right hand (la vostra valorosa destra!)” Then he skipped back a pace or two, threw up both hands, and went away.
He carefully tucked it into his side pocket and, once again saying, “In an hour!” he headed toward the door. But suddenly turning back, he ran up to Sanin, grabbed his hand, and pressed it to his shirt front, exclaiming, with his eyes to the ceiling: “Noble youth! Great heart! (Nobil giovanotto! Gran cuore!) allow a weak old man (a un vecchiotto!) to hold your brave right hand (la vostra valorosa destra!)” Then he took a step or two back, threw up both hands, and walked away.
Sanin looked after him … took up the newspaper and tried to read. But his eyes wandered in vain over the lines: he understood nothing.
Sanin watched him leave … picked up the newspaper and attempted to read. But his eyes aimlessly drifted over the lines: he understood nothing.
XVIII
An hour later the waiter came in again to Sanin, and handed him an old, soiled visiting-card, on which were the following words: “Pantaleone Cippatola of Varese, court singer (cantante di camera) to his Royal Highness the Duke of Modena”; and behind the waiter in walked Pantaleone himself. He had changed his clothes from top to toe. He had on a black frock coat, reddish with long wear, and a white piqué waistcoat, upon which a pinchbeck chain meandered playfully; a heavy cornelian seal hung low down on to his narrow black trousers. In his right hand he carried a black beaver hat, in his left two stout chamois gloves; he had tied his cravat in a taller and broader bow than ever, and had stuck into his starched shirt-front a pin with a stone, a so-called “cat’s eye.” On his forefinger was displayed a ring, consisting of two clasped hands with a burning heart between them. A smell of garments long laid by, a smell of camphor and of musk hung about the whole person of the old man; the anxious solemnity of his deportment must have struck the most casual spectator! Sanin rose to meet him.
An hour later, the waiter came back to Sanin and handed him an old, dirty business card that read: “Pantaleone Cippatola of Varese, court singer (cantante di camera) to His Royal Highness the Duke of Modena.” Just behind the waiter walked in Pantaleone himself. He had completely changed his outfit. He wore a black frock coat, faded to a reddish tint from wear, and a white piqué waistcoat with a cheap chain playfully draped across it; a heavy carnelian seal hung low on his narrow black trousers. In his right hand, he held a black beaver hat, and in his left, two sturdy chamois gloves. He had tied his cravat in a taller and broader bow than usual and had inserted a stone pin, known as a “cat’s eye,” into his starched shirt front. On his forefinger was a ring featuring two clasped hands with a burning heart between them. A scent of long-stored garments, along with camphor and musk, clung to the old man; the anxious seriousness of his demeanor would have caught the attention of even the most casual observer! Sanin stood up to greet him.
“I am your second,” Pantaleone announced in French, and he bowed bending his whole body forward, and turning out his toes like a dancer. “I have come for instructions. Do you want to fight to the death?”
“I am your second,” Pantaleone announced in French, bowing and bending his whole body forward, turning out his toes like a dancer. “I have come for instructions. Do you want to fight to the death?”
“Why to the death, my dear Signor Cippatola? I will not for any consideration take back my words—but I am not a bloodthirsty person!… But come, wait a little, my opponent’s second will be here directly. I will go into the next room, and you can make arrangements with him. Believe me I shall never forget your kindness, and I thank you from my heart.”
“Why to the death, my dear Signor Cippatola? I will not take back my words for anything—but I'm not a bloodthirsty person!… But hang on, my opponent’s second will be here soon. I’ll step into the next room, and you can sort things out with him. Trust me, I will never forget your kindness, and I thank you sincerely.”
“Honour before everything!” answered Pantaleone, and he sank into an arm-chair, without waiting for Sanin to ask him to sit down. “If that ferroflucto spitchebubbio,” he said, passing from French into Italian, “if that counter-jumper Klüberio could not appreciate his obvious duty or was afraid, so much the worse for him!… A cheap soul, and that’s all about it!… As for the conditions of the duel, I am your second, and your interests are sacred to me!… When I lived in Padua there was a regiment of the white dragoons stationed there, and I was very intimate with many of the officers!… I was quite familiar with their whole code. And I used often to converse on these subjects with your principe Tarbuski too…. Is this second to come soon?”
“Honor above everything!” replied Pantaleone as he sank into an armchair without waiting for Sanin to invite him. “If that ferroflucto spitchebubbio,” he continued, switching from French to Italian, “if that counter-jumper Klüberio couldn't see his obvious duty or was too scared, that's his problem!… A cheap soul, that’s all there is to it!… As for the terms of the duel, I'm your second, and your interests are sacred to me!… When I lived in Padua, there was a regiment of the white dragoons stationed there, and I was close with many of the officers!… I was quite familiar with their whole code. And I often discussed these topics with your Prince Tarbuski as well…. Is this second going to show up soon?”
“I am expecting him every minute—and here he comes,” added Sanin, looking into the street.
“I’m expecting him any minute—and there he is,” added Sanin, looking out into the street.
Pantaleone got up, looked at his watch, straightened his topknot of hair, and hurriedly stuffed into his shoe an end of tape which was sticking out below his trouser-leg, and the young sub-lieutenant came in, as red and embarrassed as ever.
Pantaleone stood up, checked his watch, fixed his hair, and quickly shoved a piece of tape that was sticking out from his trouser leg into his shoe, just as the young sub-lieutenant walked in, looking as red and embarrassed as always.
Sanin presented the seconds to each other. “M. Richter, sous-lieutenant, M. Cippatola, artiste!” The sub-lieutenant was slightly disconcerted by the old man’s appearance … Oh, what would he have said had any one whispered to him at that instant that the “artist” presented to him was also employed in the culinary art! But Pantaleone assumed an air as though taking part in the preliminaries of duels was for him the most everyday affair: probably he was assisted at this juncture by the recollections of his theatrical career, and he played the part of second simply as a part. Both he and the sub-lieutenant were silent for a little.
Sanin introduced the seconds to each other. “M. Richter, second lieutenant, M. Cippatola, artist!” The second lieutenant felt a bit thrown off by the old man's appearance... Oh, what would he have thought if someone had whispered to him right then that the “artist” he was meeting was also a cook! But Pantaleone acted as if taking part in duel preliminaries was the most normal thing for him: he probably drew on memories from his theatrical career and treated his role as second like just another part. Both he and the second lieutenant stayed silent for a moment.
“Well? Let us come to business!” Pantaleone spoke first, playing with his cornelian seal.
“Well? Let’s get down to business!” Pantaleone began, fiddling with his cornelian seal.
“By all means,” responded the sub-lieutenant, “but … the presence of one of the principals …”
“Of course,” replied the sub-lieutenant, “but … the presence of one of the main people …”
“I will leave you at once, gentlemen,” cried Sanin, and with a bow he went away into the bedroom and closed the door after him.
“I'll leave you right now, gentlemen,” Sanin exclaimed, and with a bow, he walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind him.
He flung himself on the bed and began thinking of Gemma … but the conversation of the seconds reached him through the shut door. It was conducted in the French language; both maltreated it mercilessly, each after his own fashion. Pantaleone again alluded to the dragoons in Padua, and Principe Tarbuski; the sub-lieutenant to “exghizes léchères” and “goups de bistolet à l’amiaple.” But the old man would not even hear of any exghizes! To Sanin’s horror, he suddenly proceeded to talk of a certain young lady, an innocent maiden, whose little finger was worth more than all the officers in the world … (oune zeune damigella innoucenta, qu’a elle sola dans soun péti doa vale piu que tout le zouffissié del mondo!), and repeated several times with heat: “It’s shameful! it’s shameful!” (E ouna onta, ouna onta!) The sub-lieutenant at first made him no reply, but presently an angry quiver could be heard in the young man’s voice, and he observed that he had not come there to listen to sermonising.
He threw himself on the bed and started thinking about Gemma … but the conversation from the other side of the closed door reached him. It was in French, and both of them were mangling it mercilessly, each in their own way. Pantaleone once again talked about the dragoons in Padua and Principe Tarbuski; the sub-lieutenant mentioned “exghizes léchères” and “goups de bistolet à l’amiaple.” But the old man wouldn’t even consider any exghizes! To Sanin's horror, he suddenly began talking about a certain young lady, an innocent maiden, whose little finger was worth more than all the officers in the world … (oune zeune damigella innoucenta, qu’a elle sola dans soun péti doa vale piu che tutto le zouffissié del mondo!), and he repeated several times with passion: “It’s shameful! it’s shameful!” (E ouna onta, ouna onta!) The sub-lieutenant initially didn’t respond, but soon an angry tremor was noticeable in his voice as he pointed out that he hadn’t come there to listen to a sermon.
“At your age it is always a good thing to hear the truth!” cried Pantaleone.
“At your age, it’s always good to hear the truth!” cried Pantaleone.
The debate between the seconds several times became stormy; it lasted over an hour, and was concluded at last on the following conditions: “Baron von Dönhof and M. de Sanin to meet the next day at ten o’clock in a small wood near Hanau, at the distance of twenty paces; each to have the right to fire twice at a signal given by the seconds, the pistols to be single-triggered and not rifle-barrelled.” Herr von Richter withdrew, and Pantaleone solemnly opened the bedroom door, and after communicating the result of their deliberations, cried again: “Bravo Russo! Bravo giovanotto! You will be victor!”
The argument between the seconds heated up several times; it went on for over an hour and finally concluded with the following conditions: “Baron von Dönhof and M. de Sanin will meet the next day at ten o’clock in a small woods near Hanau, twenty paces apart; each will have the right to fire twice at a signal given by the seconds, using pistols that are single-triggered and not rifle-barreled.” Herr von Richter stepped back, and Pantaleone dramatically opened the bedroom door. After sharing the outcome of their discussions, he exclaimed again: “Bravo Russo! Bravo giovanotto! You will be the victor!”
A few minutes later they both set off to the Rosellis’ shop. Sanin, as a preliminary measure, had exacted a promise from Pantaleone to keep the affair of the duel a most profound secret. In reply, the old man had merely held up his finger, and half closing his eyes, whispered twice over, Segredezza! He was obviously in good spirits, and even walked with a freer step. All these unusual incidents, unpleasant though they might be, carried him vividly back to the time when he himself both received and gave challenges—only, it is true, on the stage. Baritones, as we all know, have a great deal of strutting and fuming to do in their parts.
A few minutes later, they both headed to the Roselli’s shop. As a first step, Sanin had made Pantaleone promise to keep the duel a complete secret. In response, the old man just raised his finger and, half-closing his eyes, whispered “Segredezza!” twice. He seemed to be in a good mood and even walked with a lighter step. All these strange events, though unsettling, reminded him vividly of the times when he both received and issued challenges—although, it’s true, only on stage. Baritones, as we all know, have a lot of strutting and fuming to do in their roles.
XIX
Emil ran out to meet Sanin—he had been watching for his arrival over an hour—and hurriedly whispered into his ear that his mother knew nothing of the disagreeable incident of the day before, that he must not even hint of it to her, and that he was being sent to Klüber’s shop again!… but that he wouldn’t go there, but would hide somewhere! Communicating all this information in a few seconds, he suddenly fell on Sanin’s shoulder, kissed him impulsively, and rushed away down the street. Gemma met Sanin in the shop; tried to say something and could not. Her lips were trembling a little, while her eyes were half-closed and turned away. He made haste to soothe her by the assurance that the whole affair had ended … in utter nonsense.
Emil ran out to meet Sanin—he had been waiting for his arrival for over an hour—and quickly whispered in his ear that his mom didn’t know anything about the awkward situation from the day before, that he shouldn’t even hint at it to her, and that he was being sent to Klüber’s shop again!... but he wouldn’t go there and would hide somewhere instead! After sharing all this in just a few seconds, he suddenly fell onto Sanin’s shoulder, kissed him impulsively, and dashed away down the street. Gemma met Sanin in the shop; she tried to say something but couldn’t. Her lips trembled slightly while her eyes were half-closed and turned away. He hurried to reassure her that the whole thing had ended… in total nonsense.
“Has no one been to see you to-day?” she asked.
“Has no one come to see you today?” she asked.
“A person did come to me and we had an explanation, and we … we came to the most satisfactory conclusion.”
“A person came to me and we talked it over, and we … we reached the most satisfying conclusion.”
Gemma went back behind the counter.
Gemma went back behind the counter.
“She does not believe me!” he thought … he went into the next room, however, and there found Frau Lenore.
“She doesn't believe me!” he thought… he went into the next room, and there he found Frau Lenore.
Her sick headache had passed off, but she was in a depressed state of mind. She gave him a smile of welcome, but warned him at the same time that he would be dull with her to-day, as she was not in a mood to entertain him. He sat down beside her, and noticed that her eyelids were red and swollen.
Her migraine had faded, but she was feeling down. She greeted him with a smile, but also cautioned him that she wouldn't be much fun today since she wasn't in the mood to entertain. He sat down next to her and noticed that her eyelids were red and puffy.
“What is wrong, Frau Lenore? You’ve never been crying, surely?”
“What’s wrong, Mrs. Lenore? You’ve never cried before, have you?”
“Oh!” she whispered, nodding her head towards the room where her daughter was. “Don’t speak of it … aloud.”
“Oh!” she whispered, nodding toward the room where her daughter was. “Don’t talk about it … out loud.”
“But what have you been crying for?”
“But what have you been crying about?”
“Ah, M’sieu Sanin, I don’t know myself what for!”
“Ah, Mr. Sanin, I really don’t even know why!”
“No one has hurt your feelings?”
“No one has hurt your feelings?”
“Oh no!… I felt very low all of a sudden. I thought of Giovanni Battista … of my youth … Then how quickly it had all passed away. I have grown old, my friend, and I can’t reconcile myself to that anyhow. I feel I’m just the same as I was … but old age—it’s here! it is here!” Tears came into Frau Lenore’s eyes. “You look at me, I see, and wonder…. But you will get old too, my friend, and will find out how bitter it is!”
“Oh no!… I suddenly felt really down. I thought about Giovanni Battista… from my youth… Then I realized how quickly everything had slipped away. I’ve grown old, my friend, and I can’t accept that at all. I feel just the same as I did… but old age—it’s here! It’s really here!” Tears filled Frau Lenore’s eyes. “You look at me, I can tell, and wonder… But you’ll grow old too, my friend, and you’ll discover how painful it is!”
Sanin tried to comfort her, spoke of her children, in whom her own youth lived again, even attempted to scoff at her a little, declaring that she was fishing for compliments … but she quite seriously begged him to leave off, and for the first time he realised that for such a sorrow, the despondency of old age, there is no comfort or cure; one has to wait till it passes off of itself. He proposed a game of tresette, and he could have thought of nothing better. She agreed at once and seemed to get more cheerful.
Sanin tried to comfort her, talked about her children, in whom her own youth came back to life, and even made a small joke, suggesting that she was looking for compliments… but she earnestly asked him to stop, and for the first time he understood that for such a sorrow, the sadness of old age, there is no real comfort or solution; you just have to wait for it to fade away on its own. He suggested playing a game of tresette, and he couldn’t think of anything better. She immediately agreed and seemed to brighten up.
Sanin played with her until dinner-time and after dinner Pantaleone too took a hand in the game. Never had his topknot hung so low over his forehead, never had his chin retreated so far into his cravat! Every movement was accompanied by such intense solemnity that as one looked at him the thought involuntarily arose, “What secret is that man guarding with such determination?” But segredezza! segredezza!
Sanin played with her until dinner, and after dinner, Pantaleone joined in the game too. Never had his topknot drooped so low over his forehead, and never had his chin tucked so far into his cravat! Every movement had such a serious vibe that when you looked at him, you couldn't help but wonder, “What secret is that man keeping so fiercely?” But segredezza! segredezza!
During the whole of that day he tried in every possible way to show the profoundest respect for Sanin; at table, passing by the ladies, he solemnly and sedately handed the dishes first to him; when they were at cards he intentionally gave him the game; he announced, apropos of nothing at all, that the Russians were the most great-hearted, brave, and resolute people in the world!
Throughout the entire day, he made every effort to show deep respect for Sanin; at the dinner table, he deliberately passed the dishes to him first, ignoring the ladies. When they played cards, he intentionally let him win. Out of the blue, he proclaimed that Russians were the most kind-hearted, brave, and determined people in the world!
“Ah, you old flatterer!” Sanin thought to himself.
“Ah, you old flatterer!” Sanin thought to himself.
And he was not so much surprised at Signora Roselli’s unexpected state of mind, as at the way her daughter behaved to him. It was not that she avoided him … on the contrary she sat continually a little distance from him, listened to what he said, and looked at him; but she absolutely declined to get into conversation with him, and directly he began talking to her, she softly rose from her place, and went out for some instants. Then she came in again, and again seated herself in some corner, and sat without stirring, seeming meditative and perplexed … perplexed above all. Frau Lenore herself noticed at last, that she was not as usual, and asked her twice what was the matter.
And he wasn't so much surprised by Signora Roselli’s unexpected mood as by how her daughter acted around him. It wasn’t that she avoided him... on the contrary, she sat a little distance away, listened to what he said, and looked at him; but she completely refused to engage in conversation. Whenever he tried to talk to her, she softly got up from her seat and stepped out for a moment. Then she would come back in, find another corner to sit in, and remain still, looking contemplative and confused... especially confused. Frau Lenore eventually noticed that her daughter was acting differently and asked her twice what was wrong.
“Nothing,” answered Gemma; “you know I am sometimes like this.”
“Nothing,” Gemma replied; “you know I can be like this sometimes.”
“That is true,” her mother assented.
“That's true,” her mom agreed.
So passed all that long day, neither gaily nor drearily—neither cheerfully nor sadly. Had Gemma been different—Sanin … who knows?… might not perhaps have been able to resist the temptation for a little display—or he might simply have succumbed to melancholy at the possibility of a separation for ever…. But as he did not once succeed in getting a word with Gemma, he was obliged to confine himself to striking minor chords on the piano for a quarter of an hour before evening coffee.
So the whole day went by, neither happy nor sad—just in between. If Gemma had been different, Sanin… who knows?… maybe he wouldn't have been able to resist the urge to show off a bit—or he might have just given in to sadness at the thought of never seeing her again…. But since he couldn’t manage to get a word with Gemma all day, he had to stick to playing soft chords on the piano for about fifteen minutes before evening coffee.
Emil came home late, and to avoid questions about Herr Klüber, beat a hasty retreat. The time came for Sanin too to retire.
Emil got home late, and to dodge questions about Herr Klüber, he quickly made his exit. It was also time for Sanin to head to bed.
He began saying good-bye to Gemma. He recollected for some reason Lensky’s parting from Olga in Oniegin. He pressed her hand warmly, and tried to get a look at her face, but she turned a little away and released her fingers.
He started saying goodbye to Gemma. For some reason, he remembered Lensky saying farewell to Olga in Oniegin. He held her hand warmly and tried to catch a glimpse of her face, but she turned slightly away and let go of his fingers.
XX
It was bright starlight when he came out on the steps. What multitudes of stars, big and little, yellow, red, blue and white were scattered over the sky! They seemed all flashing, swarming, twinkling unceasingly. There was no moon in the sky, but without it every object could be clearly discerned in the half-clear, shadowless twilight. Sanin walked down the street to the end … He did not want to go home at once; he felt a desire to wander about a little in the fresh air. He turned back and had hardly got on a level with the house, where was the Rosellis’ shop, when one of the windows looking out on the street, suddenly creaked and opened; in its square of blackness—there was no light in the room—appeared a woman’s figure, and he heard his name—“Monsieur Dimitri!”
It was a bright starlit night when he stepped out onto the porch. So many stars, big and small, yellow, red, blue, and white, were scattered across the sky! They all seemed to be flashing, swirling, and twinkling non-stop. There was no moon out, but everything could be clearly seen in the soft, shadowless twilight. Sanin walked down the street to the end … He wasn’t ready to go home just yet; he felt a urge to wander a bit in the fresh air. He turned back and had barely reached the front of the house where the Roselli’s shop was, when suddenly one of the windows facing the street creaked open; in the dark square—there was no light in the room—appeared a woman’s silhouette, and he heard someone call his name—“Monsieur Dimitri!”
He rushed at once up to the window … Gemma! She was leaning with her elbows on the window-sill, bending forward.
He quickly ran up to the window … Gemma! She was leaning her elbows on the window sill, leaning forward.
“Monsieur Dimitri,” she began in a cautious voice, “I have been wanting all day long to give you something … but I could not make up my mind to; and just now, seeing you, quite unexpectedly again, I thought that it seems it is fated” …
“Monsieur Dimitri,” she started in a careful tone, “I’ve been wanting to give you something all day … but I just couldn’t decide; and now, seeing you unexpectedly again, I thought it must be meant to be.”
Gemma was forced to stop at this word. She could not go on; something extraordinary happened at that instant.
Gemma had to stop at that word. She couldn't continue; something extraordinary happened in that moment.
All of a sudden, in the midst of the profound stillness, over the perfectly unclouded sky, there blew such a violent blast of wind, that the very earth seemed shaking underfoot, the delicate starlight seemed quivering and trembling, the air went round in a whirlwind. The wind, not cold, but hot, almost sultry, smote against the trees, the roof of the house, its walls, and the street; it instantaneously snatched off Sanin’s hat, crumpled up and tangled Gemma’s curls. Sanin’s head was on a level with the window-sill; he could not help clinging close to it, and Gemma clutched hold of his shoulders with both hands, and pressed her bosom against his head. The roar, the din, and the rattle lasted about a minute…. Like a flock of huge birds the revelling whirlwind darted revelling away. A profound stillness reigned once more.
All of a sudden, in the midst of the deep silence, under the perfectly clear sky, a violent gust of wind blew in, making the ground seem to shake beneath them. The delicate starlight appeared to quiver and tremble, and the air swirled in a whirlwind. The wind was hot, almost steamy, and slammed against the trees, the roof of the house, its walls, and the street. It instantly ripped Sanin’s hat off and messed up Gemma’s curls. Sanin was at the level of the window-sill; he couldn’t help but cling to it, while Gemma wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed her chest against his head. The roar, the noise, and the rattle lasted about a minute… Like a group of giant birds, the frenzied whirlwind flew away. A deep silence returned once again.
Sanin raised his head and saw above him such an exquisite, scared, excited face, such immense, large, magnificent eyes—it was such a beautiful creature he saw, that his heart stood still within him, he pressed his lips to the delicate tress of hair, that had fallen on his bosom, and could only murmur, “O Gemma!”
Sanin lifted his head and saw above him such a beautiful, scared, excited face, such huge, magnificent eyes—it was such a stunning creature he was looking at that his heart stopped, he pressed his lips to the delicate strands of hair that had fallen on his chest, and could only whisper, “O Gemma!”
“What was that? Lightning?” she asked, her eyes wandering afar, while she did not take her bare arms from his shoulder.
“What was that? Lightning?” she asked, her eyes drifting far away, while she kept her bare arms on his shoulder.
“Gemma!” repeated Sanin.
“Gemma!” Sanin repeated.
She sighed, looked around behind her into the room, and with a rapid movement pulling the now faded rose out of her bodice, she threw it to Sanin.
She sighed, glanced over her shoulder into the room, and with a quick motion, pulled the now faded rose from her bodice and tossed it to Sanin.
“I wanted to give you this flower.”
“I wanted to give you this flower.”
He recognised the rose, which he had won back the day before….
He recognized the rose, which he had won back the day before….
But already the window had slammed-to, and through the dark pane nothing could be seen, no trace of white.
But already the window had slammed shut, and through the dark glass nothing could be seen, no sign of white.
Sanin went home without his hat…. He did not even notice that he had lost it.
Sanin went home without his hat… He didn’t even realize he had lost it.
XXI
It was quite morning when he fell asleep. And no wonder! In the blast of that instantaneous summer hurricane, he had almost as instantaneously felt, not that Gemma was lovely, not that he liked her—that he had known before … but that he almost … loved her! As suddenly as that blast of wind, had love pounced down upon him. And then this senseless duel! He began to be tormented by mournful forebodings. And even suppose they didn’t kill him…. What could come of his love for this girl, another man’s betrothed? Even supposing this “other man” was no danger, that Gemma herself would care for him, or even cared for him already … What would come of it? How ask what! Such a lovely creature!…
It was early morning when he fell asleep. And it’s no surprise! In the rush of that sudden summer storm, he had almost immediately realized, not that Gemma was beautiful, not that he liked her—that he had already known … but that he almost … loved her! Just as quickly as that gust of wind, love had taken him by surprise. And then this pointless duel! He started to be haunted by dark thoughts. And even if they didn’t kill him… What could possibly come of his love for this girl, who was promised to another man? Even if this “other man” posed no threat, and Gemma herself might be interested in him, or even already liked him … What would come of it? How could he even ask that! Such a beautiful person!…
He walked about the room, sat down to the table, took a sheet of paper, traced a few lines on it, and at once blotted them out…. He recalled Gemma’s wonderful figure in the dark window, in the starlight, set all a-fluttering by the warm hurricane; he remembered her marble arms, like the arms of the Olympian goddesses, felt their living weight on his shoulders…. Then he took the rose she had thrown him, and it seemed to him that its half-withered petals exhaled a fragrance of her, more delicate than the ordinary scent of the rose.
He walked around the room, sat down at the table, grabbed a sheet of paper, traced a few lines on it, and immediately erased them…. He remembered Gemma’s stunning figure in the dark window, illuminated by starlight, fluttering in the warm breeze; he recalled her marble-like arms, resembling those of the Olympian goddesses, feeling their real weight on his shoulders…. Then he picked up the rose she had tossed to him, and it seemed to him that its half-wilted petals released a fragrance of her, more delicate than the usual scent of a rose.
“And would they kill him straight away or maim him?”
“And would they kill him right away or hurt him badly?”
He did not go to bed, and fell asleep in his clothes on the sofa.
He didn't go to bed and fell asleep in his clothes on the couch.
Some one slapped him on the shoulder…. He opened his eyes, and saw Pantaleone.
Someone slapped him on the shoulder…. He opened his eyes and saw Pantaleone.
“He sleeps like Alexander of Macedon on the eve of the battle of Babylon!” cried the old man.
“He sleeps like Alexander the Great the night before the battle of Babylon!” shouted the old man.
“What o’clock is it?” inquired Sanin.
“What time is it?” Sanin asked.
“A quarter to seven; it’s a two hours’ drive to Hanau, and we must be the first on the field. Russians are always beforehand with their enemies! I have engaged the best carriage in Frankfort!”
“A quarter to seven; it’s a two-hour drive to Hanau, and we have to be the first on the field. Russians are always ahead of their enemies! I’ve booked the best carriage in Frankfurt!”
Sanin began washing. “And where are the pistols?”
Sanin started washing. “So, where are the pistols?”
“That ferroflucto Tedesco will bring the pistols. He’ll bring a doctor too.”
“That ferroflucto Tedesco will bring the guns. He’ll bring a doctor too.”
Pantaleone was obviously putting a good face on it as he had done the day before; but when he was seated in the carriage with Sanin, when the coachman had cracked his whip and the horses had started off at a gallop, a sudden change came over the old singer and friend of Paduan dragoons. He began to be confused and positively faint-hearted. Something seemed to have given way in him, like a badly built wall.
Pantaleone was clearly trying to stay positive like he had the day before, but once he was in the carriage with Sanin and the coachman cracked his whip to get the horses galloping, everything changed for the old singer and friend of the Paduan dragoons. He started to feel nervous and almost timid. It was as if something inside him had collapsed, like a poorly constructed wall.
“What are we doing, my God, Santissima Madonna!” he cried in an unexpectedly high pipe, and he clutched at his head. “What am I about, old fool, madman, frenetico?”
“What are we doing, my God, Santissima Madonna!” he shouted in an unexpectedly high voice, clutching his head. “What am I doing, old fool, madman, frenetico?”
Sanin wondered and laughed, and putting his arm lightly round Pantaleone’s waist, he reminded him of the French proverb: “Le vin est tiré—il faut le boire.”
Sanin wondered and laughed, and lightly wrapped his arm around Pantaleone’s waist, reminding him of the French proverb: “Le vin est tiré—il faut le boire.”
“Yes, yes,” answered the old man, “we will drain the cup together to the dregs—but still I’m a madman! I’m a madman! All was going on so quietly, so well … and all of a sudden: ta-ta-ta, tra-ta-ta!”
“Yes, yes,” replied the old man, “we will finish the drink together to the last drop—but still I’m crazy! I’m crazy! Everything was going so smoothly, so well … and then suddenly: ta-ta-ta, tra-ta-ta!”
“Like the tutti in the orchestra,” observed Sanin with a forced smile. “But it’s not your fault.”
“Like the tutti in the orchestra,” Sanin said with a forced smile. “But it’s not your fault.”
“I know it’s not. I should think not indeed! And yet … such insolent conduct! Diavolo, diavolo!” repeated Pantaleone, sighing and shaking his topknot.
“I know it’s not. I definitely shouldn’t think so! And yet … such disrespectful behavior! Diavolo, diavolo!” Pantaleone repeated, sighing and shaking his topknot.
The carriage still rolled on and on.
The carriage kept rolling.
It was an exquisite morning. The streets of Frankfort, which were just beginning to show signs of life, looked so clean and snug; the windows of the houses glittered in flashes like tinfoil; and as soon as the carriage had driven beyond the city walls, from overhead, from a blue but not yet glaring sky, the larks’ loud trills showered down in floods. Suddenly at a turn in the road, a familiar figure came from behind a tall poplar, took a few steps forward and stood still. Sanin looked more closely…. Heavens! it was Emil!
It was a beautiful morning. The streets of Frankfort, just starting to come alive, looked so clean and cozy; the windows of the houses sparkled like tinfoil; and as soon as the carriage drove past the city walls, the larks' joyful songs poured down from the bright blue sky. Suddenly, as the road turned, a familiar figure appeared from behind a tall poplar, took a few steps forward, and stopped. Sanin looked closer… Wow! It was Emil!
“But does he know anything about it?” he demanded of Pantaleone.
“But does he know anything about it?” he asked Pantaleone.
“I tell you I’m a madman,” the poor Italian wailed despairingly, almost in a shriek. “The wretched boy gave me no peace all night, and this morning at last I revealed all to him!”
“I’m telling you, I’m losing my mind,” the poor Italian cried out desperately, almost screaming. “That miserable boy wouldn’t let me rest all night, and this morning I finally told him everything!”
“So much for your segredezza!” thought Sanin. The carriage had got up to Emil. Sanin told the coachman to stop the horses, and called the “wretched boy” up to him. Emil approached with hesitating steps, pale as he had been on the day he fainted. He could scarcely stand.
“So much for your segredezza!” thought Sanin. The carriage reached Emil. Sanin told the driver to stop the horses and called the “wretched boy” over to him. Emil walked over with hesitant steps, pale like he had been the day he fainted. He could barely stand.
“What are you doing here?” Sanin asked him sternly. “Why aren’t you at home?”
“What are you doing here?” Sanin asked him firmly. “Why aren’t you at home?”
“Let … let me come with you,” faltered Emil in a trembling voice, and he clasped his hands. His teeth were chattering as in a fever. “I won’t get in your way—only take me.”
“Let … let me come with you,” stammered Emil in a shaky voice, and he clasped his hands. His teeth were chattering like he had a fever. “I won’t be a burden—just take me.”
“If you feel the very slightest affection or respect for me,” said Sanin, “you will go at once home or to Herr Klüber’s shop, and you won’t say one word to any one, and will wait for my return!”
“If you feel even a little bit of affection or respect for me,” said Sanin, “you will go home or to Herr Klüber’s shop right now, and you won’t say a word to anyone, and you will wait for my return!”
“Your return,” moaned Emil—and his voice quivered and broke, “but if you’re—”
“Your return,” moaned Emil—and his voice shook and cracked, “but if you’re—”
“Emil!” Sanin interrupted—and he pointed to the coachman, “do control yourself! Emil, please, go home! Listen to me, my dear! You say you love me. Well, I beg you!” He held out his hand to him. Emil bent forward, sobbed, pressed it to his lips, and darting away from the road, ran back towards Frankfort across country.
“Emil!” Sanin interrupted—and he pointed to the driver, “please, calm down! Emil, just go home! Hear me out, my dear! You say you love me. Well, I’m begging you!” He held out his hand to him. Emil leaned forward, sobbed, kissed it, and then darted off the road, running back towards Frankfurt across the fields.
“A noble heart too,” muttered Pantaleone; but Sanin glanced severely at him…. The old man shrank into the corner of the carriage. He was conscious of his fault; and moreover, he felt more and more bewildered every instant; could it really be he who was acting as second, who had got horses, and had made all arrangements, and had left his peaceful abode at six o’clock? Besides, his legs were stiff and aching.
“A noble heart too,” muttered Pantaleone; but Sanin glanced sternly at him…. The old man shrank into the corner of the carriage. He was aware of his mistake; and on top of that, he felt more and more confused with every passing moment; could it really be him who was acting as second, who had gotten the horses, made all the arrangements, and left his peaceful home at six o’clock? Besides, his legs were stiff and aching.
Sanin thought it as well to cheer him up, and he chanced on the very thing, he hit on the right word.
Sanin thought it would be good to cheer him up, and he found exactly the right thing to say.
“Where is your old spirit, Signor Cippatola? Where is il antico valor?”
“Where is your old spirit, Signor Cippatola? Where is the ancient courage?”
Signor Cippatola drew himself up and scowled “Il antico valor?” he boomed in a bass voice. “Non è ancora spento (it’s not all lost yet), il antico valor!”
Signor Cippatola straightened up and frowned. “The ancient valor?” he thundered in a deep voice. “It’s not all lost yet, the ancient valor!”
He put himself in a dignified attitude, began talking of his career, of the opera, of the great tenor Garcia—and arrived at Hanau a hero.
He presented himself confidently, started discussing his career, the opera, and the great tenor Garcia—and arrived in Hanau like a hero.
After all, if you think of it, nothing is stronger in the world … and weaker—than a word!
After all, if you think about it, nothing is stronger in the world … and weaker—than a word!
XXII
The copse in which the duel was to take place was a quarter of a mile from Hanau. Sanin and Pantaleone arrived there first, as the latter had predicted; they gave orders for the carriage to remain outside the wood, and they plunged into the shade of the rather thick and close-growing trees. They had to wait about an hour.
The small forest where the duel was set to happen was a quarter of a mile from Hanau. Sanin and Pantaleone got there first, just as Pantaleone had predicted; they instructed the carriage to stay outside the woods and stepped into the shade of the dense trees. They had to wait for about an hour.
The time of waiting did not seem particularly disagreeable to Sanin; he walked up and down the path, listened to the birds singing, watched the dragonflies in their flight, and like the majority of Russians in similar circumstances, tried not to think. He only once dropped into reflection; he came across a young lime-tree, broken down, in all probability by the squall of the previous night. It was unmistakably dying … all the leaves on it were dead. “What is it? an omen?” was the thought that flashed across his mind; but he promptly began whistling, leaped over the very tree, and paced up and down the path. As for Pantaleone, he was grumbling, abusing the Germans, sighing and moaning, rubbing first his back and then his knees. He even yawned from agitation, which gave a very comic expression to his tiny shrivelled-up face. Sanin could scarcely help laughing when he looked at him.
The wait didn’t seem particularly unpleasant for Sanin; he walked back and forth along the path, listened to the birds singing, watched the dragonflies flying around, and like most Russians in similar situations, tried not to think. He only paused for a moment to reflect when he noticed a young lime tree that had likely been broken by last night’s storm. It was clearly dying... all its leaves were dead. “What does that mean? An omen?” was the thought that flashed through his mind, but he quickly began whistling, jumped over the fallen tree, and continued walking along the path. As for Pantaleone, he was complaining, cursing the Germans, sighing and moaning, rubbing his back and then his knees. He even yawned out of nervousness, which made his tiny, wrinkled face look quite comical. Sanin could hardly keep from laughing when he looked at him.
They heard, at last, the rolling of wheels along the soft road. “It’s they!” said Pantaleone, and he was on the alert and drew himself up, not without a momentary nervous shiver, which he made haste, however, to cover with the ejaculation “B-r-r!” and the remark that the morning was rather fresh. A heavy dew drenched the grass and leaves, but the sultry heat penetrated even into the wood.
They finally heard the sound of wheels rolling along the soft path. “It’s them!” said Pantaleone, instantly alert. He straightened up, not without a quick nervous shiver, which he quickly masked with the exclamation, “Brr!” and the comment that the morning was pretty chilly. A thick dew soaked the grass and leaves, but the muggy heat seeped even into the woods.
Both the officers quickly made their appearance under its arched avenues; they were accompanied by a little thick-set man, with a phlegmatic, almost sleepy, expression of face—the army doctor. He carried in one hand an earthenware pitcher of water—to be ready for any emergency; a satchel with surgical instruments and bandages hung on his left shoulder. It was obvious that he was thoroughly used to such excursions; they constituted one of the sources of his income; each duel yielded him eight gold crowns—four from each of the combatants. Herr von Richter carried a case of pistols, Herr von Dönhof—probably considering it the thing—was swinging in his hand a little cane.
Both officers quickly appeared under the arched walkways; they were joined by a short, stocky man with a calm, almost drowsy expression— the army doctor. He held an earthenware pitcher of water in one hand, ready for any situation, while a bag of surgical instruments and bandages hung from his left shoulder. It was clear he was very accustomed to these outings; they were a regular source of income for him; each duel earned him eight gold crowns—four from each fighter. Herr von Richter carried a case of pistols, while Herr von Dönhof—likely thinking it was the proper thing to do—swung a small cane in his hand.
“Pantaleone!” Sanin whispered to the old man; “if … if I’m killed—anything may happen—take out of my side pocket a paper—there’s a flower wrapped up in it—and give the paper to Signorina Gemma. Do you hear? You promise?”
“Pantaleone!” Sanin whispered to the old man; “if … if I get killed—anything could happen—take out of my side pocket a paper—there’s a flower wrapped in it—and give the paper to Signorina Gemma. Do you hear? You promise?”
The old man looked dejectedly at him, and nodded his head affirmatively…. But God knows whether he understood what Sanin was asking him to do.
The old man looked sadly at him and nodded his head in agreement…. But who knows if he really understood what Sanin was asking him to do.
The combatants and the seconds exchanged the customary bows; the doctor alone did not move as much as an eyelash; he sat down yawning on the grass, as much as to say, “I’m not here for expressions of chivalrous courtesy.” Herr von Richter proposed to Herr “Tshibadola” that he should select the place; Herr “Tshibadola” responded, moving his tongue with difficulty—“the wall” within him had completely given way again. “You act, my dear sir; I will watch….”
The fighters and their seconds exchanged the usual bows; the doctor didn’t budge an inch; he simply sat down yawning on the grass, as if to say, “I’m not here for any polite gestures.” Herr von Richter suggested to Herr “Tshibadola” that he should choose the location; Herr “Tshibadola” replied, struggling to speak—“the wall” inside him had completely collapsed again. “You take the lead, my dear sir; I’ll just observe….”
And Herr von Richter proceeded to act. He picked out in the wood close by a very pretty clearing all studded with flowers; he measured out the steps, and marked the two extreme points with sticks, which he cut and pointed. He took the pistols out of the case, and squatting on his heels, he rammed in the bullets; in short, he fussed about and exerted himself to the utmost, continually mopping his perspiring brow with a white handkerchief. Pantaleone, who accompanied him, was more like a man frozen. During all these preparations, the two principals stood at a little distance, looking like two schoolboys who have been punished, and are sulky with their tutors.
And Mr. von Richter got to work. He found a lovely clearing in the nearby woods filled with flowers; he measured out the distances and marked the two ends with sticks he cut and sharpened. He took the pistols out of the case, squatted down, and loaded them with bullets; in short, he was busy and worked hard, constantly wiping his sweaty forehead with a white handkerchief. Pantaleone, who was with him, looked more like a man in shock. During all these preparations, the two main players stood a short distance away, looking like two schoolboys who had been punished and were sulking at their teachers.
The decisive moment arrived…. “Each took his pistol….”
The critical moment came.... “Each grabbed his pistol....”
But at this point Herr von Richter observed to Pantaleone that it was his duty, as the senior second, according to the rules of the duel, to address a final word of advice and exhortation to be reconciled to the combatants, before uttering the fatal “one! two! three!”; that although this exhortation had no effect of any sort and was, as a rule, nothing but an empty formality, still, by the performance of this formality, Herr Cippatola would be rid of a certain share of responsibility; that, properly speaking, such an admonition formed the direct duty of the so-called “impartial witness” (unpartheiischer Zeuge) but since they had no such person present, he, Herr von Richter, would readily yield this privilege to his honoured colleague. Pantaleone, who had already succeeded in obliterating himself behind a bush, so as not to see the offending officer at all, at first made out nothing at all of Herr von Richter’s speech, especially, as it had been delivered through the nose, but all of a sudden he started, stepped hurriedly forward, and convulsively thumping at his chest, in a hoarse voice wailed out in his mixed jargon: “A la la la … Che bestialita! Deux zeun ommes comme ça que si battono—perchè? Che diavolo? Andata a casa!”
But at this point, Herr von Richter pointed out to Pantaleone that it was his duty, as the senior second, according to duel rules, to give a final word of advice and urge the fighters to reconcile before saying the fateful “one! two! three!”; that although this advice usually had no impact and was generally just a meaningless formality, by performing this formality, Herr Cippatola would take on a certain share of responsibility; that, technically speaking, such a warning was the direct responsibility of the so-called “impartial witness” (unpartheiischer Zeuge), but since there was no such person present, he, Herr von Richter, would gladly give this privilege to his esteemed colleague. Pantaleone, who had already managed to hide behind a bush to avoid seeing the offending officer at all, initially understood nothing of Herr von Richter’s speech, especially since it was delivered nasally, but suddenly he jumped, rushed forward, and, thumping his chest in distress, hoarsely shouted in his mixed language: “A la la la … Che bestialita! Deux zeun ommes comme ça que si battono—perchè? Che diavolo? Andata a casa!”
“I will not consent to a reconciliation,” Sanin intervened hurriedly.
“I won’t agree to a reconciliation,” Sanin said quickly.
“And I too will not,” his opponent repeated after him.
“And I won’t either,” his opponent echoed.
“Well, then shout one, two, three!” von Richter said, addressing the distracted Pantaleone. The latter promptly ducked behind the bush again, and from there, all huddled together, his eyes screwed up, and his head turned away, he shouted at the top of his voice: “Una … due … tre!”
“Well, then shout one, two, three!” von Richter said, addressing the distracted Pantaleone. The latter promptly ducked behind the bush again, and from there, all huddled together, his eyes squinted, and his head turned away, he shouted at the top of his lungs: “Una … due … tre!”
The first shot was Sanin’s, and he missed. His bullet went ping against a tree. Baron von Dönhof shot directly after him—intentionally, to one side, into the air.
The first shot was Sanin’s, and he missed. His bullet went ping against a tree. Baron von Dönhof fired right after him—deliberately, to one side, into the air.
A constrained silence followed…. No one moved. Pantaleone uttered a faint moan.
A tense silence followed…. No one moved. Pantaleone let out a faint groan.
“Is it your wish to go on?” said Dönhof.
“Do you want to keep going?” said Dönhof.
“Why did you shoot in the air?” inquired Sanin.
“Why did you fire a shot in the air?” asked Sanin.
“That’s nothing to do with you.”
“That has nothing to do with you.”
“Will you shoot in the air the second time?” Sanin asked again.
“Are you going to shoot in the air again?” Sanin asked once more.
“Possibly: I don’t know.”
"Maybe: I don’t know."
“Excuse me, excuse me, gentlemen …” began von Richter; “duellists have not the right to talk together. That’s out of order.”
“Excuse me, excuse me, gentlemen …” started von Richter; “duelists don’t have the right to discuss things. That’s not acceptable.”
“I decline my shot,” said Sanin, and he threw his pistol on the ground.
“I decline my shot,” Sanin said, tossing his pistol to the ground.
“And I too do not intend to go on with the duel,” cried Dönhof, and he too threw his pistol on the ground. “And more than that, I am prepared to own that I was in the wrong—the day before yesterday.”
“And I also don’t plan to continue with the duel,” shouted Dönhof, and he tossed his pistol to the ground as well. “What’s more, I’m ready to admit that I was wrong—the day before yesterday.”
He moved uneasily, and hesitatingly held out his hand. Sanin went rapidly up to him and shook it. Both the young men looked at each other with a smile, and both their faces flushed crimson.
He shifted awkwardly and hesitantly reached out his hand. Sanin quickly approached him and shook it. Both young men exchanged smiles and felt their faces heat up with embarrassment.
“Bravi! bravi!” Pantaleone roared suddenly as if he had gone mad, and clapping his hands, he rushed like a whirlwind from behind the bush; while the doctor, who had been sitting on one side on a felled tree, promptly rose, poured the water out of the jug and walked off with a lazy, rolling step out of the wood.
“Bravo! Bravo!” Pantaleone suddenly yelled as if he had lost his mind, and clapping his hands, he rushed out from behind the bush like a whirlwind; while the doctor, who had been sitting on one side of a fallen tree, quickly got up, poured the water out of the jug, and strolled away with a relaxed, lazy step out of the woods.
“Honour is satisfied, and the duel is over!” von Richter announced.
“Honor is satisfied, and the duel is over!” von Richter announced.
“Fuori!” Pantaleone boomed once more, through old associations.
“Out!” Pantaleone shouted again, through old connections.
When he had exchanged bows with the officers, and taken his seat in the carriage, Sanin certainly felt all over him, if not a sense of pleasure, at least a certain lightness of heart, as after an operation is over; but there was another feeling astir within him too, a feeling akin to shame…. The duel, in which he had just played his part, struck him as something false, a got-up formality, a common officers’ and students’ farce. He recalled the phlegmatic doctor, he recalled how he had grinned, that is, wrinkled up his nose when he saw him coming out of the wood almost arm-in-arm with Baron Dönhof. And afterwards when Pantaleone had paid him the four crowns due to him … Ah! there was something nasty about it!
When he had nodded to the officers and settled into the carriage, Sanin definitely felt, if not a sense of pleasure, at least a lightness in his heart, like the relief felt after a surgery. But there was also another feeling stirring inside him, something close to shame… The duel he had just participated in seemed to him like something fake, a staged formality, a silly little show put on by officers and students. He remembered the calm doctor and how he had smirked, or rather wrinkled his nose, when he saw him coming out of the woods almost arm-in-arm with Baron Dönhof. And later, when Pantaleone had handed him the four crowns owed to him… Ah! There was something gross about that!
Yes, Sanin was a little conscience-smitten and ashamed … though, on the other hand, what was there for him to have done? Could he have left the young officer’s insolence unrebuked? could he have behaved like Herr Klüber? He had stood up for Gemma, he had championed her … that was so; and yet, there was an uneasy pang in his heart, and he was conscience-smitten, and even ashamed.
Yes, Sanin felt a bit guilty and embarrassed… but, on the other hand, what could he have done? Could he have ignored the young officer’s rudeness? Could he have acted like Herr Klüber? He defended Gemma; he stood up for her… that was true, and yet, there was an unsettling ache in his heart, and he felt guilty and even ashamed.
Not so Pantaleone—he was simply in his glory! He was suddenly possessed by a feeling of pride. A victorious general, returning from the field of battle he has won, could not have looked about him with greater self-satisfaction. Sanin’s demeanour during the duel filled him with enthusiasm. He called him a hero, and would not listen to his exhortations and even his entreaties. He compared him to a monument of marble or of bronze, with the statue of the commander in Don Juan! For himself he admitted he had been conscious of some perturbation of mind, “but, of course, I am an artist,” he observed; “I have a highly-strung nature, while you are the son of the snows and the granite rocks.”
Not Pantaleone—he was just basking in his glory! He was suddenly filled with pride. A victorious general returning from battle couldn’t have looked around him with more self-satisfaction. Sanin’s attitude during the duel inspired him. He called him a hero and wouldn’t listen to his pleas or even his requests. He compared him to a statue made of marble or bronze, like the commander in Don Juan! As for himself, he admitted he had felt a bit unsettled, “but, of course, I am an artist,” he noted; “I have a sensitive temperament, while you are the son of snow and granite rocks.”
Sanin was positively at a loss how to quiet the jubilant artist.
Sanin was completely unsure how to calm down the excited artist.
Almost at the same place in the road where two hours before they had come upon Emil, he again jumped out from behind a tree, and, with a cry of joy upon his lips, waving his cap and leaping into the air, he rushed straight at the carriage, almost fell under the wheel, and, without waiting for the horses to stop, clambered up over the carriage-door and fairly clung to Sanin.
Almost at the same spot in the road where they had encountered Emil two hours earlier, he suddenly leaped out from behind a tree, shouting with joy, waving his cap, and jumping into the air. He dashed straight toward the carriage, nearly getting caught under the wheel, and without waiting for the horses to come to a stop, he scrambled up over the carriage door and tightly hugged Sanin.
“You are alive, you are not wounded!” he kept repeating. “Forgive me, I did not obey you, I did not go back to Frankfort … I could not! I waited for you here … Tell me how was it? You … killed him?”
“You're alive, and you're not hurt!” he kept saying. “I'm sorry, I didn't listen to you, I didn't go back to Frankfort … I couldn't! I waited for you here … Tell me, how was it? You … killed him?”
Sanin with some difficulty pacified Emil and made him sit down.
Sanin struggled a bit to calm Emil down and got him to sit.
With great verbosity, with evident pleasure, Pantaleone communicated to him all the details of the duel, and, of course, did not omit to refer again to the monument of bronze and the statue of the commander. He even rose from his seat and, standing with his feet wide apart to preserve his equilibrium, folding his arm on his chest and looking contemptuously over his shoulder, gave an ocular representation of the commander—Sanin! Emil listened with awe, occasionally interrupting the narrative with an exclamation, or swiftly getting up and as swiftly kissing his heroic friend.
With lots of words and clear enjoyment, Pantaleone shared all the details of the duel, and, of course, he made sure to mention again the bronze monument and the statue of the commander. He even stood up from his seat, positioning his feet wide apart to keep his balance, folding his arm across his chest while looking disdainfully over his shoulder, and visually enacted the commander—Sanin! Emil listened in awe, occasionally interrupting the story with an exclamation or quickly getting up to embrace his heroic friend.
The carriage wheels rumbled over the paved roads of Frankfort, and stopped at last before the hotel where Sanin was living.
The carriage wheels rolled over the paved streets of Frankfurt and finally came to a stop in front of the hotel where Sanin was staying.
Escorted by his two companions, he went up the stairs, when suddenly a woman came with hurried steps out of the dark corridor; her face was hidden by a veil, she stood still, facing Sanin, wavered a little, gave a trembling sigh, at once ran down into the street and vanished, to the great astonishment of the waiter, who explained that “that lady had been for over an hour waiting for the return of the foreign gentleman.” Momentary as was the apparition, Sanin recognised Gemma. He recognised her eyes under the thick silk of her brown veil.
Escorted by his two friends, he climbed the stairs when suddenly a woman hurried out of the dark hallway; her face was covered by a veil. She stopped in front of Sanin, hesitated a bit, let out a shaky sigh, then quickly ran down into the street and disappeared, leaving the waiter shocked. He explained that “that lady had been waiting for over an hour for the foreign gentleman to return.” Even though it was brief, Sanin recognized Gemma. He recognized her eyes beneath the thick silk of her brown veil.
“Did Fräulein Gemma know, then?”… he said slowly in a displeased voice in German, addressing Emil and Pantaleone, who were following close on his heels.
“Did Fräulein Gemma know, then?” he said slowly in a displeased tone in German, speaking to Emil and Pantaleone, who were following closely behind him.
Emil blushed and was confused.
Emil blushed and felt confused.
“I was obliged to tell her all,” he faltered; “she guessed, and I could not help it…. But now that’s of no consequence,” he hurried to add eagerly, “everything has ended so splendidly, and she has seen you well and uninjured!”
“I had to tell her everything,” he stammered; “she figured it out, and I couldn’t stop it…. But that doesn’t matter now,” he quickly added, eager to reassure, “everything turned out so wonderfully, and she has seen you safe and sound!”
Sanin turned away.
Sanin looked away.
“What a couple of chatterboxes you are!” he observed in a tone of annoyance, as he went into his room and sat down on a chair.
“What a couple of chatterboxes you are!” he said irritably, as he walked into his room and sat down on a chair.
“Don’t be angry, please,” Emil implored.
“Please don’t be angry,” Emil begged.
“Very well, I won’t be angry”—(Sanin was not, in fact, angry—and, after all, he could hardly have desired that Gemma should know nothing about it). “Very well … that’s enough embracing. You get along now. I want to be alone. I’m going to sleep. I’m tired.”
“Alright, I won’t be mad”—(Sanin wasn’t actually mad—and, really, he could hardly expect Gemma to remain unaware). “Alright … that’s enough hugging. You can go now. I want to be alone. I’m going to sleep. I’m tired.”
“An excellent idea!” cried Pantaleone. “You need repose! You have fully earned it, noble signor! Come along, Emilio! On tip-toe! On tip-toe! Sh—sh—sh!”
“Great idea!” exclaimed Pantaleone. “You deserve some rest! You've definitely earned it, noble sir! Come on, Emilio! On tiptoe! On tiptoe! Sh—sh—sh!”
When he said he wanted to go to sleep, Sanin had simply wished to get rid of his companions; but when he was left alone, he was really aware of considerable weariness in all his limbs; he had hardly closed his eyes all the preceding night, and throwing himself on his bed he fell immediately into a sound sleep.
When he said he wanted to go to sleep, Sanin just wanted to be rid of his friends; but once he was alone, he realized he felt a deep fatigue in all his muscles. He had barely slept at all the night before, and as soon as he threw himself on his bed, he fell into a deep sleep right away.
XXIII
He slept for some hours without waking. Then he began to dream that he was once more fighting a duel, that the antagonist standing facing him was Herr Klüber, and on a fir-tree was sitting a parrot, and this parrot was Pantaleone, and he kept tapping with his beak: one, one, one!
He slept for a few hours without waking up. Then he started to dream that he was fighting a duel again, and the opponent standing in front of him was Herr Klüber. On a fir tree sat a parrot, and this parrot was Pantaleone, who kept tapping with his beak: one, one, one!
“One … one … one!” he heard the tapping too distinctly; he opened his eyes, raised his head … some one was knocking at his door.
“One … one … one!” He heard the tapping clearly; he opened his eyes and lifted his head… someone was knocking at his door.
“Come in!” called Sanin.
“Come in!” called Sanin.
The waiter came in and answered that a lady very particularly wished to see him.
The waiter came in and said that a lady really wanted to see him.
“Gemma!” flashed into his head … but the lady turned out to be her mother, Frau Lenore.
“Gemma!” popped into his mind … but the woman turned out to be her mother, Frau Lenore.
Directly she came in, she dropped at once into a chair and began to cry.
As soon as she walked in, she immediately collapsed into a chair and started to cry.
“What is the matter, my dear, good Madame Roselli?” began Sanin, sitting beside her and softly touching her hand. “What has happened? calm yourself, I entreat you.”
“What’s wrong, my dear, good Madame Roselli?” began Sanin, sitting beside her and gently touching her hand. “What’s happened? Please calm down, I beg you.”
“Ah, Herr Dimitri, I am very … very miserable!”
“Ah, Mr. Dimitri, I am very … very unhappy!”
“You are miserable?”
"Are you feeling miserable?"
“Ah, very! Could I have foreseen such a thing? All of a sudden, like thunder from a clear sky …”
“Ah, very! Could I have predicted something like this? Out of nowhere, like thunder on a clear day…”
She caught her breath.
She took a breath.
“But what is it? Explain! Would you like a glass of water?”
“But what is it? Please explain! Would you like a glass of water?”
“No, thank you.” Frau Lenore wiped her eyes with her handkerchief and began to cry with renewed energy. “I know all, you see! All!”
“No, thank you.” Frau Lenore wiped her eyes with her handkerchief and started crying again with more intensity. “I know everything, you see! Everything!”
“All? that is to say?”
“All? What do you mean?”
“Everything that took place to-day! And the cause … I know that too! You acted like an honourable man; but what an unfortunate combination of circumstances! I was quite right in not liking that excursion to Soden … quite right!” (Frau Lenore had said nothing of the sort on the day of the excursion, but she was convinced now that she had foreseen “all” even then.) “I have come to you as to an honourable man, as to a friend, though I only saw you for the first time five days ago…. But you know I am a widow, a lonely woman…. My daughter …”
“Everything that happened today! And the reason… I know that too! You acted like a decent person; but what a terrible mix of circumstances! I was completely right not to like that trip to Soden… totally right!” (Frau Lenore hadn’t said anything like that on the day of the trip, but she was now convinced she had foreseen “everything” even then.) “I’ve come to you as a decent person, as a friend, even though I only met you for the first time five days ago… But you know I’m a widow, a lonely woman… My daughter…”
Tears choked Frau Lenore’s voice. Sanin did not know what to think. “Your daughter?” he repeated.
Tears choked Frau Lenore’s voice. Sanin didn’t know what to think. “Your daughter?” he repeated.
“My daughter, Gemma,” broke almost with a groan from Frau Lenore, behind the tear-soaked handkerchief, “informed me to-day that she would not marry Herr Klüber, and that I must refuse him!”
“My daughter, Gemma,” almost groaned Frau Lenore, behind the tear-soaked handkerchief, “told me today that she won’t marry Herr Klüber, and that I must refuse him!”
Sanin positively started back a little; he had not expected that.
Sanin took a step back in surprise; he hadn't seen that coming.
“I won’t say anything now,” Frau Lenore went on, “of the disgrace of it, of its being something unheard of in the world for a girl to jilt her betrothed; but you see it’s ruin for us, Herr Dimitri!” Frau Lenore slowly and carefully twisted up her handkerchief in a tiny, tiny little ball, as though she would enclose all her grief within it. “We can’t go on living on the takings of our shop, Herr Dimitri! and Herr Klüber is very rich, and will be richer still. And what is he to be refused for? Because he did not defend his betrothed? Allowing that was not very handsome on his part, still, he’s a civilian, has not had a university education, and as a solid business man, it was for him to look with contempt on the frivolous prank of some unknown little officer. And what sort of insult was it, after all, Herr Dimitri?”
“I won’t say anything right now,” Frau Lenore continued, “about the disgrace of it, about how it's unheard of for a girl to break off an engagement; but you see, it’s a disaster for us, Herr Dimitri!” Frau Lenore slowly and carefully twisted her handkerchief into a tiny, tiny ball, as if she meant to hold all her sorrow within it. “We can’t keep living off the earnings from our shop, Herr Dimitri! And Herr Klüber is very wealthy, and will only get richer. What reason do we have to refuse him? Just because he didn’t defend his fiancée? Even if that wasn’t very noble of him, he’s a civilian, hasn’t had a university education, and as a solid businessman, he was entitled to dismiss the frivolous antics of some unknown little officer. And what kind of insult was it, really, Herr Dimitri?”
“Excuse me, Frau Lenore, you seem to be blaming me.”
“Excuse me, Ms. Lenore, it looks like you’re blaming me.”
“I am not blaming you in the least, not in the least! You’re quite another matter; you are, like all Russians, a military man …”
“I’m not blaming you at all, not at all! You’re a completely different story; you’re, like all Russians, a military guy…”
“Excuse me, I’m not at all …”
“Excuse me, I’m not at all …”
“You’re a foreigner, a visitor, and I’m grateful to you,” Frau Lenore went on, not heeding Sanin. She sighed, waved her hands, unwound her handkerchief again, and blew her nose. Simply from the way in which her distress expressed itself, it could be seen that she had not been born under a northern sky.
“You're a foreigner, a visitor, and I'm thankful for your presence,” Frau Lenore continued, ignoring Sanin. She sighed, waved her hands, unwound her handkerchief once more, and blew her nose. Just from the way her distress was shown, it was clear that she hadn't been born under a northern sky.
“And how is Herr Klüber to look after his shop, if he is to fight with his customers? It’s utterly inconsistent! And now I am to send him away! But what are we going to live on? At one time we were the only people that made angel cakes, and nougat of pistachio nuts, and we had plenty of customers; but now all the shops make angel cakes! Only consider; even without this, they’ll talk in the town about your duel … it’s impossible to keep it secret. And all of a sudden, the marriage broken off! It will be a scandal, a scandal! Gemma is a splendid girl, she loves me; but she’s an obstinate republican, she doesn’t care for the opinion of others. You’re the only person that can persuade her!”
“And how is Mr. Klüber supposed to manage his shop if he’s fighting with his customers? It’s completely ridiculous! And now I’m supposed to send him away! But what are we going to live on? At one time, we were the only ones making angel cakes and pistachio nougat, and we had plenty of customers; but now every shop is making angel cakes! Just think about it; even without this, people in town will be talking about your duel… it’s impossible to keep it a secret. And all of a sudden, the engagement is off! It’ll be a scandal, a scandal! Gemma is a wonderful girl, she loves me; but she’s a stubborn republican, she doesn’t care what others think. You’re the only one who can convince her!”
Sanin was more amazed than ever. “I, Frau Lenore?”
Sanin was more amazed than ever. “Me, Frau Lenore?”
“Yes, you alone … you alone. That’s why I have come to you; I could not think of anything else to do! You are so clever, so good! You have fought in her defence. She will trust you! She is bound to trust you—why, you have risked your life on her account! You will make her understand, for I can do nothing more; you make her understand that she will bring ruin on herself and all of us. You saved my son—save my daughter too! God Himself sent you here … I am ready on my knees to beseech you….” And Frau Lenore half rose from her seat as though about to fall at Sanin’s feet…. He restrained her.
“Yes, it's just you… only you. That’s why I came to you; I couldn’t think of anything else to do! You’re so smart, so good! You’ve fought for her. She will trust you! She has to trust you—after all, you risked your life for her! You will help her understand, because I can’t do anything else; you need to make her realize that she will bring disaster upon herself and all of us. You saved my son—please save my daughter too! God himself sent you here… I’m on my knees begging you…” And Frau Lenore half stood from her seat as if she was about to fall at Sanin’s feet… He stopped her.
“Frau Lenore! For mercy’s sake! What are you doing?”
“Mrs. Lenore! For heaven's sake! What are you doing?”
She clutched his hand impulsively. “You promise …”
She grabbed his hand impulsively. “You promise …”
“Frau Lenore, think a moment; what right have I …”
“Ms. Lenore, think for a second; what right do I …”
“You promise? You don’t want me to die here at once before your eyes?”
“You promise? You don’t want me to die right here in front of you?”
Sanin was utterly nonplussed. It was the first time in his life he had had to deal with any one of ardent Italian blood.
Sanin was completely taken aback. It was the first time in his life he had to deal with someone of passionate Italian heritage.
“I will do whatever you like,” he cried. “I will talk to Fräulein Gemma….”
“I'll do whatever you want,” he shouted. “I'll talk to Fräulein Gemma….”
Frau Lenore uttered a cry of delight.
Frau Lenore let out a joyful cry.
“Only I really can’t say what result will come of it …”
“Honestly, I can’t predict what the outcome will be…”
“Ah, don’t go back, don’t go back from your words!” cried Frau Lenore in an imploring voice; “you have already consented! The result is certain to be excellent. Any way, I can do nothing more! She won’t listen to me!”
“Ah, don’t take back your words!” Frau Lenore pleaded desperately. “You’ve already agreed! The outcome is sure to be great. Anyway, I can’t do anything more! She won’t listen to me!”
“Has she so positively stated her disinclination to marry Herr Klüber?” Sanin inquired after a short silence.
“Has she definitely said she doesn’t want to marry Herr Klüber?” Sanin asked after a brief silence.
“As if she’d cut the knot with a knife! She’s her father all over, Giovanni Battista! Wilful girl!”
“As if she’d sliced through the knot with a knife! She’s just like her father, Giovanni Battista! Such a strong-willed girl!”
“Wilful? Is she!” … Sanin said slowly.
“Is she stubborn or what!” … Sanin said slowly.
“Yes … yes … but she’s an angel too. She will mind you. Are you coming soon? Oh, my dear Russian friend!” Frau Lenore rose impulsively from her chair, and as impulsively clasped the head of Sanin, who was sitting opposite her. “Accept a mother’s blessing—and give me some water!”
“Yes … yes … but she’s an angel too. She will take care of you. Are you coming soon? Oh, my dear Russian friend!” Frau Lenore quickly got up from her chair and, just as suddenly, embraced Sanin, who was sitting across from her. “Accept a mother’s blessing—and give me some water!”
Sanin brought Signora Roselli a glass of water, gave her his word of honour that he would come directly, escorted her down the stairs to the street, and when he was back in his own room, positively threw up his arms and opened his eyes wide in his amazement.
Sanin brought Signora Roselli a glass of water, promised her he would be right back, escorted her down the stairs to the street, and when he returned to his own room, he threw up his arms and stared in disbelief.
“Well,” he thought, “well, now life is going round in a whirl! And it’s whirling so that I’m giddy.” He did not attempt to look within, to realise what was going on in himself: it was all uproar and confusion, and that was all he knew! What a day it had been! His lips murmured unconsciously: “Wilful … her mother says … and I have got to advise her … her! And advise her what?”
“Well,” he thought, “well, now life is really spinning out of control! And it’s spinning so fast that I’m dizzy.” He didn’t try to look inside himself to understand what was happening: it was all chaos and confusion, and that was all he knew! What a day it had been! His lips murmured unconsciously: “Stubborn… her mom says… and I have to give her advice… her! And advise her on what?”
Sanin, really, was giddy, and above all this whirl of shifting sensations and impressions and unfinished thoughts, there floated continually the image of Gemma, the image so ineffaceably impressed on his memory on that hot night, quivering with electricity, in that dark window, in the light of the swarming stars!
Sanin was genuinely giddy, and above all this whirlwind of changing sensations, impressions, and incomplete thoughts, the image of Gemma constantly floated in his mind, an image so indelibly etched in his memory from that hot night, pulsing with energy, in that dark window, under the glow of the twinkling stars!
XXIV
With hesitating footsteps Sanin approached the house of Signora Roselli. His heart was beating violently; he distinctly felt, and even heard it thumping at his side. What should he say to Gemma, how should he begin? He went into the house, not through the shop, but by the back entrance. In the little outer room he met Frau Lenore. She was both relieved and scared at the sight of him.
With uncertain steps, Sanin walked up to Signora Roselli's house. His heart was pounding hard; he could actually feel and even hear it thumping beside him. What should he say to Gemma, and how should he start? He entered the house not through the shop, but through the back door. In the small outer room, he ran into Frau Lenore. She looked both relieved and frightened to see him.
“I have been expecting you,” she said in a whisper, squeezing his hand with each of hers in turn. “Go into the garden; she is there. Mind, I rely on you!”
“I’ve been waiting for you,” she said softly, squeezing his hand with each of hers in turn. “Go into the garden; she’s there. Just remember, I’m counting on you!”
Sanin went into the garden.
Sanin entered the garden.
Gemma was sitting on a garden-seat near the path, she was sorting a big basket full of cherries, picking out the ripest, and putting them on a dish. The sun was low—it was seven o’clock in the evening—and there was more purple than gold in the full slanting light with which it flooded the whole of Signora Roselli’s little garden. From time to time, faintly audibly, and as it were deliberately, the leaves rustled, and belated bees buzzed abruptly as they flew from one flower to the next, and somewhere a dove was cooing a never-changing, unceasing note. Gemma had on the same round hat in which she had driven to Soden. She peeped at Sanin from under its turned-down brim, and again bent over the basket.
Gemma was sitting on a garden bench by the path, sorting through a large basket full of cherries, selecting the ripest ones, and placing them on a dish. The sun was low—it was seven o’clock in the evening—and the light flooding Signora Roselli’s little garden was more purple than gold. Occasionally, the leaves rustled softly, and late bees buzzed suddenly as they moved from one flower to another, while somewhere a dove cooed a constant, unchanging sound. Gemma was wearing the same round hat she had worn while driving to Soden. She glanced at Sanin from beneath its turned-down brim and then returned to the basket.
Sanin went up to Gemma, unconsciously making each step shorter, and … and … and nothing better could he find to say to her than to ask why was she sorting the cherries.
Sanin approached Gemma, unconsciously taking shorter steps, and … and … and he couldn't think of anything better to say to her than to ask why she was sorting the cherries.
Gemma was in no haste to reply.
Gemma wasn’t in a rush to respond.
“These are riper,” she observed at last, “they will go into jam, and those are for tarts. You know the round sweet tarts we sell?”
“These are ripe now,” she finally said, “they’ll go into jam, and those are for tarts. You know the round sweet tarts we sell?”
As she said those words, Gemma bent her head still lower, and her right hand with two cherries in her fingers was suspended in the air between the basket and the dish.
As she said those words, Gemma lowered her head even more, and her right hand, holding two cherries between her fingers, hovered in the air between the basket and the dish.
“May I sit by you?” asked Sanin.
“Can I sit next to you?” asked Sanin.
“Yes.” Gemma moved a little along on the seat. Sanin placed himself beside her. “How am I to begin?” was his thought. But Gemma got him out of his difficulty.
“Yes.” Gemma shifted a bit on the seat. Sanin sat down next to her. “How do I start?” was his thought. But Gemma helped him out of his predicament.
“You have fought a duel to-day,” she began eagerly, and she turned all her lovely, bashfully flushing face to him—and what depths of gratitude were shining in those eyes! “And you are so calm! I suppose for you danger does not exist?”
“You fought a duel today,” she began eagerly, turning her beautiful, shyly blushing face toward him—and gratitude shone in her eyes! “And you're so calm! I guess danger doesn't exist for you?”
“Oh, come! I have not been exposed to any danger. Everything went off very satisfactorily and inoffensively.”
“Oh, come on! I haven’t faced any danger. Everything went really well and smoothly.”
Gemma passed her finger to right and to left before her eyes … Also an Italian gesture. “No! no! don’t say that! You won’t deceive me! Pantaleone has told me everything!”
Gemma waved her finger side to side in front of her face … Also an Italian gesture. “No! No! Don’t say that! You can’t fool me! Pantaleone has told me everything!”
“He’s a trustworthy witness! Did he compare me to the statue of the commander?”
“He’s a reliable witness! Did he really compare me to the statue of the commander?”
“His expressions may be ridiculous, but his feeling is not ridiculous, nor is what you have done to-day. And all that on my account … for me … I shall never forget it.”
“His expressions might be silly, but his feelings aren’t silly, and neither is what you did today. And all of that for my sake... for me... I’ll never forget it.”
“I assure you, Fräulein Gemma …”
“I assure you, Miss Gemma …”
“I shall never forget it,” she said deliberately; once more she looked intently at him, and turned away.
“I will never forget it,” she said purposefully; she looked at him intently once more, then turned away.
He could now see her delicate pure profile, and it seemed to him that he had never seen anything like it, and had never known anything like what he was feeling at that instant. His soul was on fire.
He could now see her delicate, flawless profile, and it struck him that he had never seen anything like it, nor had he ever felt anything like what he was feeling at that moment. His soul was on fire.
“And my promise!” flashed in among his thoughts.
“And my promise!” interrupted his thoughts.
“Fräulein Gemma …” he began after a momentary hesitation.
“Miss Gemma …” he started after a brief pause.
“What?”
"Excuse me?"
She did not turn to him, she went on sorting the cherries, carefully taking them by their stalks with her finger-tips, assiduously picking out the leaves…. But what a confiding caress could be heard in that one word, “What?”
She didn't turn to him; she continued sorting the cherries, carefully holding them by their stems with her fingertips, diligently removing the leaves.... But what a trusting tenderness could be heard in that one word, “What?”
“Has your mother said nothing to you … about …”
“Has your mom said anything to you … about …”
“About?”
“What's up?”
“About me?”
"Tell me about yourself?"
Gemma suddenly flung back into the basket the cherries she had taken.
Gemma suddenly tossed the cherries she had picked back into the basket.
“Has she been talking to you?” she asked in her turn.
“Has she been talking to you?” she asked back.
“Yes.”
“Yeah.”
“What has she been saying to you?”
“What has she been telling you?”
“She told me that you … that you have suddenly decided to change … your former intention.” Gemma’s head was bent again. She vanished altogether under her hat; nothing could be seen but her neck, supple and tender as the stalk of a big flower.
“She told me that you … that you’ve suddenly decided to change … your previous intention.” Gemma’s head was bent again. She completely disappeared under her hat; all that could be seen was her neck, soft and delicate like the stem of a big flower.
“What intentions?”
"What are your intentions?"
“Your intentions … relative to … the future arrangement of your life.”
“Your plans... regarding... how you want to set up your life in the future.”
“That is … you are speaking … of Herr Klüber?”
"Wait, are you talking about Mr. Klüber?"
“Yes.”
"Yeah."
“Mamma told you I don’t want to be Herr Klüber’s wife?”
“Mama told you I don’t want to be Mr. Klüber’s wife?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
Gemma moved forward on the seat. The basket tottered, fell … a few cherries rolled on to the path. A minute passed by … another.
Gemma shifted in her seat. The basket wobbled, toppled … a few cherries tumbled onto the path. A minute went by … then another.
“Why did she tell you so?” he heard her voice saying. Sanin as before could only see Gemma’s neck. Her bosom rose and fell more rapidly than before.
“Why did she say that to you?” he heard her voice say. Sanin could still only see Gemma’s neck. Her chest rose and fell more quickly than before.
“Why? Your mother thought that as you and I, in a short time, have become, so to say, friends, and you have some confidence in me, I am in a position to give you good advice—and you would mind what I say.”
“Why? Your mom thought that since you and I have quickly become, so to speak, friends, and you trust me a bit, I can give you good advice—and you would actually listen to me.”
Gemma’s hands slowly slid on to her knees. She began plucking at the folds of her dress.
Gemma's hands gradually moved onto her knees. She started picking at the folds of her dress.
“What advice will you give me, Monsieur Dimitri?” she asked, after a short pause.
“What advice will you give me, Mr. Dimitri?” she asked, after a brief pause.
Sanin saw that Gemma’s fingers were trembling on her knees…. She was only plucking at the folds of her dress to hide their trembling. He softly laid his hand on those pale, shaking fingers.
Sanin noticed that Gemma's fingers were trembling on her knees... She was just fiddling with the folds of her dress to conceal their shaking. He gently placed his hand on those pale, trembling fingers.
“Gemma,” he said, “why don’t you look at me?” She instantly tossed her hat back on to her shoulder, and bent her eyes upon him, confiding and grateful as before. She waited for him to speak…. But the sight of her face had bewildered, and, as it were, dazed him. The warm glow of the evening sun lighted up her youthful head, and the expression of that head was brighter, more radiant than its glow.
“Gemma,” he said, “why won’t you look at me?” She quickly threw her hat back onto her shoulder and focused her eyes on him, just like before, trusting and appreciative. She waited for him to say something… But seeing her face left him confused and somewhat stunned. The warm light of the evening sun illuminated her youthful features, and the look on her face was more vibrant and shining than the light itself.
“I will mind what you say, Monsieur Dimitri,” she said, faintly smiling, and faintly arching her brows; “but what advice do you give me?”
“I'll pay attention to what you say, Monsieur Dimitri,” she said with a slight smile, raising her eyebrows just a bit; “but what advice do you have for me?”
“What advice?” repeated Sanin. “Well, you see, your mother considers that to dismiss Herr Klüber simply because he did not show any special courage the day before yesterday …”
“What advice?” Sanin repeated. “Well, you see, your mom thinks that firing Herr Klüber just because he didn’t show any particular bravery the other day…”
“Simply because?” said Gemma. She bent down, picked up the basket, and set it beside her on the garden seat.
“Just because?” Gemma said. She leaned down, grabbed the basket, and placed it next to her on the garden seat.
“That … altogether … to dismiss him, would be, on your part … unreasonable; that it is a step, all the consequences of which ought to be thoroughly weighed; that in fact the very position of your affairs imposes certain obligations on every member of your family …”
“That ... altogether ... to dismiss him would be, on your part ... unreasonable; that it is a step whose consequences should be thoroughly considered; that in fact, your current situation imposes certain obligations on every member of your family ...”
“All that is mamma’s opinion,” Gemma interposed; “those are her words; but what is your opinion?”
“All that is Mom’s opinion,” Gemma interrupted; “those are her words; but what do you think?”
“Mine?” Sanin was silent for a while. He felt a lump rising in his throat and catching at his breath. “I too consider,” he began with an effort …
“Mine?” Sanin was quiet for a moment. He felt a lump in his throat that made it hard to breathe. “I think too,” he started with difficulty …
Gemma drew herself up. “Too? You too?”
Gemma stood up straight. “You too? You as well?”
“Yes … that is …” Sanin was unable, positively unable to add a single word more.
“Yes … that is …” Sanin was completely unable to say anything else.
“Very well,” said Gemma. “If you, as a friend, advise me to change my decision—that is, not to change my former decision—I will think it over.” Not knowing what she was doing, she began to tip the cherries back from the plate into the basket…. “Mamma hopes that I will mind what you say. Well … perhaps I really will mind what you say.”
“Alright,” said Gemma. “If you, as a friend, suggest I change my mind—meaning I shouldn’t go back on my original decision—I’ll consider it.” Without realizing it, she started tipping the cherries back from the plate into the basket…. “Mom hopes I’ll take your advice. Well … maybe I actually will take your advice.”
“But excuse me, Fräulein Gemma, I should like first to know what reason impelled you …”
“But excuse me, Miss Gemma, I’d like to know what made you …”
“I will mind what you say,” Gemma repeated, her face right up to her brows was working, her cheeks were white, she was biting her lower lip. “You have done so much for me, that I am bound to do as you wish; bound to carry out your wishes. I will tell mamma … I will think again. Here she is, by the way, coming here.”
“I’ll listen to what you say,” Gemma repeated, her face tense, her cheeks pale, biting her lower lip. “You’ve done so much for me that I feel obligated to do what you want; obligated to fulfill your wishes. I’ll talk to Mom ... I’ll reconsider. By the way, here she comes.”
Frau Lenore did in fact appear in the doorway leading from the house to the garden. She was in an agony of impatience; she could not keep still. According to her calculations, Sanin must long ago have finished all he had to say to Gemma, though his conversation with her had not lasted a quarter of an hour.
Frau Lenore did indeed appear in the doorway leading from the house to the garden. She was extremely impatient; she couldn’t sit still. By her calculations, Sanin must have already said everything he needed to say to Gemma, even though their conversation hadn’t lasted more than fifteen minutes.
“No, no, no, for God’s sake, don’t tell her anything yet,” Sanin articulated hurriedly, almost in alarm. “Wait a little … I will tell you, I will write to you … and till then don’t decide on anything … wait!”
“No, no, no, for God’s sake, don’t tell her anything yet,” Sanin said quickly, almost in panic. “Just wait a bit… I’ll let you know, I’ll write to you… and until then, don’t make any decisions… wait!”
He pressed Gemma’s hand, jumped up from the seat, and to Frau Lenore’s great amazement, rushed past her, and raising his hat, muttered something unintelligible—and vanished.
He squeezed Gemma's hand, jumped up from his seat, and to Frau Lenore's shock, hurried past her. He tipped his hat and mumbled something unclear—and disappeared.
She went up to her daughter.
She walked over to her daughter.
“Tell me, please, Gemma…”
“Please tell me, Gemma…”
The latter suddenly got up and hugged her. “Dear mamma, can you wait a little, a tiny bit … till to-morrow? Can you? And till to-morrow not a word?… Ah!…”
The latter suddenly stood up and embraced her. “Dear mom, can you wait just a little, a tiny bit… until tomorrow? Can you? And until tomorrow, not a word?… Ah!…”
She burst into sudden happy tears, incomprehensible to herself. This surprised Frau Lenore, the more as the expression of Gemma’s face was far from sorrowful,—rather joyful in fact.
She suddenly burst into happy tears, feeling confused about it herself. This surprised Frau Lenore even more, especially since Gemma’s expression was far from sad — in fact, it was quite joyful.
“What is it?” she asked. “You never cry and here, all at once …”
“What’s going on?” she asked. “You never cry, and now suddenly…”
“Nothing, mamma, never mind! you only wait. We must both wait a little. Don’t ask me anything till to-morrow—and let us sort the cherries before the sun has set.”
“It's okay, mom, don't worry! Just wait a bit. We both need to be patient. Don't ask me anything until tomorrow—and let's sort the cherries before the sun goes down.”
“But you will be reasonable?”
“But you'll be reasonable?”
“Oh, I’m very reasonable!” Gemma shook her head significantly. She began to make up little bunches of cherries, holding them high above her flushed face. She did not wipe away her tears; they had dried of themselves.
“Oh, I’m totally reasonable!” Gemma shook her head dramatically. She started gathering small bunches of cherries, holding them high above her rosy face. She didn’t wipe away her tears; they had dried on their own.
XXV
Almost running, Sanin returned to his hotel room. He felt, he knew that only there, only by himself, would it be clear to him at last what was the matter, what was happening to him. And so it was; directly he had got inside his room, directly he had sat down to the writing-table, with both elbows on the table and both hands pressed to his face, he cried in a sad and choked voice, “I love her, love her madly!” and he was all aglow within, like a fire when a thick layer of dead ash has been suddenly blown off. An instant more … and he was utterly unable to understand how he could have sat beside her … her!—and talked to her and not have felt that he worshipped the very hem of her garment, that he was ready as young people express it “to die at her feet.” The last interview in the garden had decided everything. Now when he thought of her, she did not appear to him with blazing curls in the shining starlight; he saw her sitting on the garden-seat, saw her all at once tossing back her hat, and gazing at him so confidingly … and the tremor and hunger of love ran through all his veins. He remembered the rose which he had been carrying about in his pocket for three days: he snatched it out, and pressed it with such feverish violence to his lips, that he could not help frowning with the pain. Now he considered nothing, reflected on nothing, did not deliberate, and did not look forward; he had done with all his past, he leaped forward into the future; from the dreary bank of his lonely bachelor life he plunged headlong into that glad, seething, mighty torrent—and little he cared, little he wished to know, where it would carry him, or whether it would dash him against a rock! No more the soft-flowing currents of the Uhland song, which had lulled him not long ago … These were mighty, irresistible torrents! They rush flying onwards and he flies with them….
Almost running, Sanin rushed back to his hotel room. He felt, he knew that only there, alone with himself, would he finally understand what was going on, what was happening to him. And it was true; as soon as he entered his room, as soon as he sat down at the writing table, with both elbows on the table and hands pressed to his face, he cried in a sad, choked voice, “I love her, love her madly!” and he felt alive inside, like a fire when the thick layer of dead ash has been blown away. In an instant… he found it impossible to understand how he could have sat next to her… her!—and talked to her without realizing that he worshipped even the hem of her garment, that he was ready, as young people say, “to die at her feet.” The last meeting in the garden had changed everything. Now when he thought of her, she didn’t appear to him with blazing curls in the shining starlight; he saw her sitting on the garden bench, suddenly tossing back her hat and looking at him so trustingly… and the tremor and hunger of love coursed through all his veins. He remembered the rose he had been carrying in his pocket for three days: he pulled it out and pressed it to his lips with such feverish intensity that he couldn’t help frowning in pain. Now he thought of nothing, reflected on nothing, didn’t deliberate, and didn’t look ahead; he was done with his past, he leaped into the future; from the dreary shore of his lonely bachelor life, he plunged headfirst into that joyful, swirling, powerful current—and he cared little, wished to know little, where it would take him, or whether it would crash him against a rock! No longer the soft-flowing currents of the Uhland song that had lulled him not long ago… These were mighty, irresistible torrents! They rushed onward and he flew with them…
He took a sheet of paper, and without blotting out a word, almost with one sweep of the pen, wrote as follows:—
He took a piece of paper, and without crossing out anything, almost in one fluid motion, wrote the following:—
“DEAR GEMMA,—You know what advice I undertook to give you, what your mother desired, and what she asked of me; but what you don’t know and what I must tell you now is, that I love you, love you with all the ardour of a heart that loves for the first time! This passion has flamed up in me suddenly, but with such force that I can find no words for it! When your mother came to me and asked me, it was still only smouldering in me, or else I should certainly, as an honest man, have refused to carry out her request…. The confession I make you now is the confession of an honest man. You ought to know whom you have to do with—between us there should exist no misunderstandings. You see that I cannot give you any advice…. I love you, love you, love you—and I have nothing else—either in my head or in my heart!!
“Dear Emma,—You know the advice I meant to give you, what your mother wanted, and what she asked of me; but what you don’t know, and what I have to tell you now, is that I love you, love you with all the passion of a heart that loves for the first time! This feeling ignited in me suddenly, but so intensely that I struggle to find the words! When your mother approached me and asked, it was still just smoldering inside me; otherwise, I would have honestly refused her request…. The confession I’m making to you now is the confession of a truthful man. You should understand who you’re dealing with—there should be no misunderstandings between us. You see, I can't give you any advice…. I love you, love you, love you—and that’s all I have—neither in my mind nor my heart!!”
“DM. SANIN.”
“DM. SANIN.”
When he had folded and sealed this note, Sanin was on the point of ringing for the waiter and sending it by him…. “No!” he thought, “it would be awkward…. By Emil? But to go to the shop, and seek him out there among the other employés, would be awkward too. Besides, it’s dark by now, and he has probably left the shop.” Reflecting after this fashion, Sanin put on his hat, however, and went into the street; he turned a corner, another, and to his unspeakable delight, saw Emil before him. With a satchel under his arm, and a roll of papers in his hand, the young enthusiast was hurrying home.
When he finished folding and sealing the note, Sanin was about to call the waiter to deliver it for him. “No!” he thought, “that would be awkward. Should I go to Emil? But looking for him at the shop among all the other employees would be weird too. Plus, it’s dark now, and he’s probably already left.” After thinking it over, Sanin put on his hat and stepped outside. He turned a corner, then another, and to his immense joy, he spotted Emil ahead of him. With a bag under his arm and a roll of papers in his hand, the young enthusiast was rushing home.
“They may well say every lover has a lucky star,” thought Sanin, and he called to Emil.
“They might say every lover has a lucky star,” thought Sanin, and he called out to Emil.
The latter turned and at once rushed to him.
The latter turned and immediately ran to him.
Sanin cut short his transports, handed him the note, and explained to whom and how he was to deliver it…. Emil listened attentively.
Sanin interrupted his excitement, gave him the note, and explained who and how he was supposed to deliver it…. Emil listened closely.
“So that no one sees?” he inquired, assuming an important and mysterious air, that said, “We understand the inner meaning of it all!”
“So that no one sees?” he asked, adopting a serious and mysterious tone that implied, “We get the deeper meaning of it all!”
“Yes, my friend,” said Sanin and he was a little disconcerted; however, he patted Emil on the cheek…. “And if there should be an answer…. You will bring me the answer, won’t you? I will stay at home.”
“Yes, my friend,” Sanin said, a bit taken aback; still, he patted Emil on the cheek… “And if there’s an answer… You will bring it to me, right? I’ll be at home.”
“Don’t worry yourself about that!” Emil whispered gaily; he ran off, and as he ran nodded once more to him.
“Don’t worry about that!” Emil whispered cheerfully; he took off running, and as he ran, he nodded at him again.
Sanin went back home, and without lighting a candle, flung himself on the sofa, put his hands behind his head, and abandoned himself to those sensations of newly conscious love, which it is no good even to describe. One who has felt them knows their languor and sweetness; to one who has felt them not, one could never make them known.
Sanin went home and, without lighting a candle, threw himself on the sofa, resting his hands behind his head. He let himself sink into the feelings of new-found love, which are hard to describe. Those who have experienced it know its relaxing sweetness; for those who haven't, it’s impossible to convey.
The door opened—Emil’s head appeared.
The door opened—Emil peeked in.
“I have brought it,” he said in a whisper: “here it is—the answer!”
“I brought it,” he said quietly. “Here it is—the answer!”
He showed and waved above his head a folded sheet of paper.
He held up and waved a folded sheet of paper above his head.
Sanin leaped up from the sofa and snatched it out of Emil’s hand. Passion was working too powerfully within him: he had no thought of reserve now, nor of the observance of a suitable demeanour—even before this boy, her brother. He would have been scrupulous, he would have controlled himself—if he could!
Sanin jumped up from the sofa and grabbed it out of Emil's hand. He was overwhelmed by passion: he didn't think about holding back or acting appropriately—even in front of this boy, her brother. He would have been careful, he would have restrained himself—if he could!
He went to the window, and by the light of a street lamp which stood just opposite the house, he read the following lines:—
He went to the window, and by the light of a street lamp that stood right across from the house, he read the following lines:—
I beg you, I beseech you—don’t come to see us, don’t show yourself all day to-morrow. It’s necessary, absolutely necessary for me, and then everything shall be settled. I know you will not say no, because …
I urge you, please—don’t come to see us, don’t show up at all tomorrow. It’s essential, really essential for me, and then everything will be figured out. I’m sure you won’t say no, because …
“GEMMA.”
“GEMMA.”
Sanin read this note twice through. Oh, how touchingly sweet and beautiful her handwriting seemed to him! He thought a little, and turning to Emil, who, wishing to give him to understand what a discreet young person he was, was standing with his face to the wall, and scratching on it with his finger-nails, he called him aloud by name.
Sanin read this note twice. Oh, how incredibly sweet and beautiful her handwriting looked to him! He thought for a moment, then turned to Emil, who was standing with his back to him, trying to look discreet as he scratched the wall with his fingernails. He called out Emil's name.
Emil ran at once to Sanin. “What do you want me to do?”
Emil immediately ran over to Sanin. “What do you need me to do?”
“Listen, my young friend…”
“Hey, my young friend…”
“Monsieur Dimitri,” Emil interrupted in a plaintive voice, “why do you address me so formally?”
“Monsieur Dimitri,” Emil interrupted in a whiny voice, “why do you call me so formally?”
Sanin laughed. “Oh, very well. Listen, my dearest boy—(Emil gave a little skip of delight)—listen; there you understand, there, you will say, that everything shall be done exactly as is wished—(Emil compressed his lips and nodded solemnly)—and as for me … what are you doing to-morrow, my dear boy?”
Sanin laughed. “Alright, my dear boy—(Emil gave a little skip of delight)—listen; there you get it, there, you will say that everything will be done exactly as you wish—(Emil pressed his lips together and nodded seriously)—and as for me … what are you doing tomorrow, my dear boy?”
“I? what am I doing? What would you like me to do?”
“I? What am I doing? What do you want me to do?”
“If you can, come to me early in the morning—and we will walk about the country round Frankfort till evening…. Would you like to?”
“If you can, come to me early in the morning—and we will walk around the countryside near Frankfort until the evening…. Would you like to?”
Emil gave another little skip. “I say, what in the world could be jollier? Go a walk with you—why, it’s simply glorious! I’ll be sure to come!”
Emil gave another little skip. “Hey, what could be more fun? Going for a walk with you—it's just awesome! I’ll definitely join!”
“And if they won’t let you?”
“And what if they don't let you?”
“They will let me!”
“They'll let me!”
“Listen … Don’t say there that I asked you to come for the whole day.”
“Listen … Don’t say there that I asked you to come for the whole day.”
“Why should I? But I’ll get away all the same! What does it matter?”
“Why should I? But I’ll escape anyway! What does it matter?”
Emil warmly kissed Sanin, and ran away.
Emil gave Sanin a warm kiss and then took off running.
Sanin walked up and down the room a long while, and went late to bed. He gave himself up to the same delicate and sweet sensations, the same joyous thrill at facing a new life. Sanin was very glad that the idea had occurred to him to invite Emil to spend the next day with him; he was like his sister. “He will recall her,” was his thought.
Sanin paced back and forth in the room for a long time and went to bed late. He surrendered himself to the same gentle and sweet feelings, the same exciting thrill of facing a new life. Sanin was really happy that he had the idea to invite Emil to spend the next day with him; he reminded him of his sister. “He will remind me of her,” he thought.
But most of all, he marvelled how he could have been yesterday other than he was to-day. It seemed to him that he had loved Gemma for all time; and that he had loved her just as he loved her to-day.
But most of all, he was amazed at how he could have been different yesterday from who he was today. It felt to him like he had loved Gemma forever; and that he had loved her just like he loves her today.
XXVI
At eight o’clock next morning, Emil arrived at Sanin’s hotel leading Tartaglia by a string. Had he sprung of German parentage, he could not have shown greater practicality. He had told a lie at home; he had said he was going for a walk with Sanin till lunch-time, and then going to the shop. While Sanin was dressing, Emil began to talk to him, rather hesitatingly, it is true, about Gemma, about her rupture with Herr Klüber; but Sanin preserved an austere silence in reply, and Emil, looking as though he understood why so serious a matter should not be touched on lightly, did not return to the subject, and only assumed from time to time an intense and even severe expression.
At eight o’clock the next morning, Emil showed up at Sanin’s hotel with Tartaglia on a leash. If he had come from a German background, he couldn't have been more practical. He had told a lie back home; he claimed he was going for a walk with Sanin until lunchtime and then heading to the shop. While Sanin was getting dressed, Emil started talking to him, a bit hesitantly, it’s true, about Gemma and her breakup with Herr Klüber; but Sanin replied with a stern silence, and Emil, looking as if he understood why such a serious topic shouldn't be taken lightly, didn’t bring it up again, only occasionally adopting a look that was intense and even somewhat stern.
After drinking coffee, the two friends set off together—on foot, of course—to Hausen, a little village lying a short distance from Frankfort, and surrounded by woods. The whole chain of the Taunus mountains could be seen clearly from there. The weather was lovely; the sunshine was bright and warm, but not blazing hot; a fresh wind rustled briskly among the green leaves; the shadows of high, round clouds glided swiftly and smoothly in small patches over the earth. The two young people soon got out of the town, and stepped out boldly and gaily along the well-kept road. They reached the woods, and wandered about there a long time; then they lunched very heartily at a country inn; then climbed on to the mountains, admired the views, rolled stones down and clapped their hands, watching the queer droll way in which the stones hopped along like rabbits, till a man passing below, unseen by them, began abusing them in a loud ringing voice. Then they lay full length on the short dry moss of yellowish-violet colour; then they drank beer at another inn; ran races, and tried for a wager which could jump farthest. They discovered an echo, and began to call to it; sang songs, hallooed, wrestled, broke up dry twigs, decked their hats with fern, and even danced. Tartaglia, as far as he could, shared in all these pastimes; he did not throw stones, it is true, but he rolled head over heels after them; he howled when they were singing, and even drank beer, though with evident aversion; he had been trained in this art by a student to whom he had once belonged. But he was not prompt in obeying Emil—not as he was with his master Pantaleone—and when Emil ordered him to “speak,” or to “sneeze,” he only wagged his tail and thrust out his tongue like a pipe.
After having coffee, the two friends set off together—on foot, of course—to Hausen, a small village not far from Frankfurt, surrounded by woods. From there, they could clearly see the entire chain of the Taunus mountains. The weather was beautiful; the sun was bright and warm, but not scorching; a refreshing breeze rustled among the green leaves; the shadows of high, fluffy clouds moved quickly and smoothly in little patches over the ground. The two young people soon left the town and walked happily and confidently along the well-kept road. They reached the woods and explored there for a long time; then they had a hearty lunch at a country inn; afterward, they climbed the mountains, admired the views, rolled stones down, and clapped their hands, watching the funny way the stones bounced like rabbits, until a man passing below, unseen by them, started shouting at them in a loud voice. Then they lay flat on the short dry moss that was a yellowish-violet color; they drank beer at another inn; raced against each other, and made bets on who could jump the farthest. They found an echo and began to call to it; sang songs, hollered, wrestled, broke off dry twigs, decorated their hats with ferns, and even danced. Tartaglia, as much as he could, joined in all these activities; he didn’t throw stones, but he rolled head over heels after them; he howled when they sang, and even drank beer, though he clearly didn’t enjoy it; he had been taught this by a student he once belonged to. But he wasn't as quick to obey Emil—not like he was with his master Pantaleone—and when Emil told him to “speak” or “sneeze,” he just wagged his tail and stuck out his tongue like a pipe.
The young people talked, too. At the beginning of the walk, Sanin, as the elder, and so more reflective, turned the conversation on fate and predestination, and the nature and meaning of man’s destiny; but the conversation quickly took a less serious turn. Emil began to question his friend and patron about Russia, how duels were fought there, and whether the women there were beautiful, and whether one could learn Russian quickly, and what he had felt when the officer took aim at him. Sanin, on his side, questioned Emil about his father, his mother, and in general about their family affairs, trying every time not to mention Gemma’s name—and thinking only of her. To speak more precisely, it was not of her he was thinking, but of the morrow, the mysterious morrow which was to bring him new, unknown happiness! It was as though a veil, a delicate, bright veil, hung faintly fluttering before his mental vision; and behind this veil he felt … felt the presence of a youthful, motionless, divine image, with a tender smile on its lips, and eyelids severely—with affected severity—downcast. And this image was not the face of Gemma, it was the face of happiness itself! For, behold, at last his hour had come, the veil had vanished, the lips were parting, the eyelashes are raised—his divinity has looked upon him—and at once light as from the sun, and joy and bliss unending! He dreamed of this morrow—and his soul thrilled with joy again in the melting torture of ever-growing expectation!
The young people talked, too. At the start of the walk, Sanin, being the older and more thoughtful one, brought up topics like fate and destiny, as well as the meaning of life; but the conversation quickly shifted to lighter subjects. Emil started asking his friend and mentor about Russia, how duels were fought there, and whether the women were beautiful, if one could learn Russian quickly, and what Sanin felt when the officer aimed at him. Sanin, for his part, asked Emil about his dad, his mom, and their family in general, making a point to avoid mentioning Gemma’s name—and only thinking about her. To be more accurate, he wasn’t thinking about her specifically, but about tomorrow, the mysterious tomorrow that was supposed to bring him new, unknown happiness! It was as if a delicate, bright veil was faintly fluttering in his mind; and behind this veil he sensed … sensed the presence of a youthful, serene, divine image, with a gentle smile and eyes cast down with a hint of seriousness. This image wasn’t Gemma’s face; it was the face of happiness itself! For, at last, his moment had come, the veil had lifted, the lips were parting, the eyelashes opening—his divinity had looked at him—and instantly there was light like from the sun, along with endless joy and bliss! He dreamed of this tomorrow—and his soul thrilled with joy again in the sweet agony of ever-growing anticipation!
And this expectation, this torture, hindered nothing. It accompanied every action, and did not prevent anything. It did not prevent him from dining capitally at a third inn with Emil; and only occasionally, like a brief flash of lightning, the thought shot across him, What if any one in the world knew? This suspense did not prevent him from playing leap-frog with Emil after dinner. The game took place on an open green lawn. And the confusion, the stupefaction of Sanin may be imagined! At the very moment when, accompanied by a sharp bark from Tartaglia, he was flying like a bird, with his legs outspread over Emil, who was bent double, he suddenly saw on the farthest border of the lawn two officers, in whom he recognised at once his adversary and his second, Herr von Dönhof and Herr von Richter! Each of them had stuck an eyeglass in his eye, and was staring at him, chuckling!… Sanin got on his feet, turned away hurriedly, put on the coat he had flung down, jerked out a word to Emil; the latter, too, put on his jacket, and they both immediately made off.
And this expectation, this torture, changed nothing. It was with him in every action and didn’t stop anything. It didn’t stop him from having a great dinner at a third inn with Emil; only occasionally, like a flash of lightning, did the thought cross his mind, What if anyone in the world knew? This anxiety didn’t stop him from playing leapfrog with Emil after dinner. The game took place on an open green lawn. You can imagine Sanin’s confusion and shock! Just as he was soaring like a bird, legs spread over Emil, who was hunched over, he suddenly spotted two officers at the far edge of the lawn—his opponent and his second, Herr von Dönhof and Herr von Richter! Each had an eyeglass stuck in his eye and was staring at him, chuckling!… Sanin got to his feet, quickly turned away, grabbed the coat he had tossed aside, muttered something to Emil; Emil also put on his jacket, and they both hurried off.
It was late when they got back to Frankfort. “They’ll scold me,” Emil said to Sanin as he said good-bye to him. “Well, what does it matter? I’ve had such a splendid, splendid day!”
It was late when they returned to Frankfort. “They’re going to be mad at me,” Emil said to Sanin as he said goodbye to him. “But who cares? I had such an amazing, amazing day!”
When he got home to his hotel, Sanin found a note there from Gemma. She fixed a meeting with him for next day, at seven o’clock in the morning, in one of the public gardens which surround Frankfort on all sides.
When he got back to his hotel, Sanin found a note from Gemma. She arranged a meeting with him for the next day at seven in the morning in one of the public gardens that surround Frankfurt on all sides.
How his heart throbbed! How glad he was that he had obeyed her so unconditionally! And, my God, what was promised … what was not promised, by that unknown, unique, impossible, and undubitably certain morrow!
How his heart raced! How happy he was that he had followed her so completely! And, oh my God, what was promised … what wasn't promised, by that unknown, one-of-a-kind, impossible, and undeniably certain tomorrow!
He feasted his eyes on Gemma’s note. The long, elegant tail of the letter G, the first letter of her name, which stood at the bottom of the sheet, reminded him of her lovely fingers, her hand…. He thought that he had not once touched that hand with his lips…. “Italian women,” he mused, “in spite of what’s said of them, are modest and severe…. And Gemma above all! Queen … goddess … pure, virginal marble….”
He admired Gemma’s note. The long, elegant tail of the letter G, the first letter of her name, at the bottom of the page, reminded him of her lovely fingers and her hand…. He realized he had never once touched that hand with his lips…. “Italian women,” he thought, “despite what people say, are modest and serious…. And Gemma above all! Queen … goddess … pure, virginal marble….”
“But the time will come; and it is not far off….” There was that night in Frankfort one happy man…. He slept; but he might have said of himself in the words of the poet:
“But the time will come; and it isn’t far off….” That night in Frankfurt, there was one happy man…. He slept; but he might have described himself using the words of the poet:
“I sleep … but my watchful heart sleeps not.”
“I sleep … but my alert heart does not.”
And it fluttered as lightly as a butterfly flutters his wings, as he stoops over the flowers in the summer sunshine.
And it fluttered as lightly as a butterfly flutters its wings when it bends over the flowers in the summer sunshine.
XXVII
At five o’clock Sanin woke up, at six he was dressed, at half-past six he was walking up and down the public garden within sight of the little arbour which Gemma had mentioned in her note. It was a still, warm, grey morning. It sometimes seemed as though it were beginning to rain; but the outstretched hand felt nothing, and only looking at one’s coat-sleeve, one could see traces of tiny drops like diminutive beads, but even these were soon gone. It seemed there had never been a breath of wind in the world. Every sound moved not, but was shed around in the stillness. In the distance was a faint thickening of whitish mist; in the air there was a scent of mignonette and white acacia flowers.
At five o’clock, Sanin woke up. By six, he was dressed, and at six-thirty, he was pacing back and forth in the public garden, keeping an eye on the little arbor that Gemma had mentioned in her note. It was a calm, warm, gray morning. It sometimes felt like it might start to rain, but a hand stretched out felt nothing; only by looking at one’s coat sleeve could one see traces of tiny droplets that resembled little beads, but even those disappeared quickly. It seemed like there hadn’t been a single breath of wind in the world. Every sound was still, hanging in the silence. In the distance, there was a slight thickening of whitish mist, and the air carried the fragrance of mignonette and white acacia flowers.
In the streets the shops were not open yet, but there were already some people walking about; occasionally a solitary carriage rumbled along … there was no one walking in the garden. A gardener was in a leisurely way scraping the path with a spade, and a decrepit old woman in a black woollen cloak was hobbling across the garden walk. Sanin could not for one instant mistake this poor old creature for Gemma; and yet his heart leaped, and he watched attentively the retreating patch of black.
In the streets, the shops weren't open yet, but some people were already out and about; every now and then, a lone carriage rolled by... there was no one in the garden. A gardener was slowly scraping the path with a spade, and an old woman in a black wool cloak was slowly making her way across the garden path. Sanin couldn't for a second confuse this poor old woman with Gemma; still, his heart raced, and he closely watched the fading patch of black.
Seven! chimed the clock on the tower. Sanin stood still. Was it possible she would not come? A shiver of cold suddenly ran through his limbs. The same shiver came again an instant later, but from a different cause. Sanin heard behind him light footsteps, the light rustle of a woman’s dress…. He turned round: she!
Seven! chimed the clock on the tower. Sanin stood still. Could it be that she wouldn’t come? A sudden chill ran through his limbs. The same chill came again a moment later, but for a different reason. Sanin heard light footsteps behind him, the soft rustle of a woman’s dress…. He turned around: it was her!
Gemma was coming up behind him along the path. She was wearing a grey cape and a small dark hat. She glanced at Sanin, turned her head away, and catching him up, passed rapidly by him.
Gemma was walking up behind him along the path. She was wearing a gray cape and a small dark hat. She looked at Sanin, turned her head away, and quickly walked past him.
“Gemma,” he articulated, hardly audibly.
"Gemma," he said, barely there.
She gave him a little nod, and continued to walk on in front. He followed her.
She nodded slightly and kept walking ahead. He followed her.
He breathed in broken gasps. His legs shook under him.
He gasped for air. His legs trembled beneath him.
Gemma passed by the arbour, turned to the right, passed by a small flat fountain, in which the sparrows were splashing busily, and, going behind a clump of high lilacs, sank down on a bench. The place was snug and hidden. Sanin sat down beside her.
Gemma walked past the arbour, turned right, and went by a small, shallow fountain where the sparrows were happily splashing around. She then went behind a group of tall lilacs and sat down on a bench. The spot was cozy and secluded. Sanin sat down next to her.
A minute passed, and neither he nor she uttered a word. She did not even look at him; and he gazed not at her face, but at her clasped hands, in which she held a small parasol. What was there to tell, what was there to say, which could compare, in importance, with the simple fact of their presence there, together, alone, so early, so close to each other.
A minute went by, and neither of them said anything. She didn’t even glance at him; instead, he looked not at her face, but at her hands, which were folded together holding a small parasol. What could they possibly say that would matter more than the simple fact that they were there together, alone, so early in the morning, so close to each other?
“You … are not angry with me?” Sanin articulated at last.
“You ... aren't mad at me?” Sanin finally said.
It would have been difficult for Sanin to have said anything more foolish than these words … he was conscious of it himself…. But, at any rate, the silence was broken.
It would have been hard for Sanin to say anything more foolish than those words … he knew it himself…. But, at least, the silence was broken.
“Angry?” she answered. “What for? No.”
“Angry?” she replied. “Why would I be? No.”
“And you believe me?” he went on.
“And you really believe me?” he continued.
“In what you wrote?”
"What you wrote?"
“Yes.”
“Yeah.”
Gemma’s head sank, and she said nothing. The parasol slipped out of her hands. She hastily caught it before it dropped on the path.
Gemma's head dropped, and she stayed silent. The parasol slipped from her grasp. She quickly grabbed it before it fell onto the path.
“Ah, believe me! believe what I wrote to you!” cried Sanin; all his timidity suddenly vanished, he spoke with heat; “if there is truth on earth—sacred, absolute truth—it’s that I love, love you passionately, Gemma.”
“Ah, believe me! believe what I wrote to you!” Sanin exclaimed; all his shyness disappeared in an instant, and he spoke passionately; “if there is any truth on earth—sacred, absolute truth—it’s that I love, love you deeply, Gemma.”
She flung him a sideway, momentary glance, and again almost dropped the parasol.
She shot him a quick, sideways glance and almost dropped the parasol again.
“Believe me! believe me!” he repeated. He besought her, held out his hands to her, and did not dare to touch her. “What do you want me to do … to convince you?”
“Believe me! believe me!” he repeated. He pleaded with her, extended his hands toward her, and didn't dare to touch her. “What do you want me to do … to convince you?”
She glanced at him again.
She looked at him again.
“Tell me, Monsieur Dimitri,” she began; “the day before yesterday, when you came to talk to me, you did not, I imagine, know then … did not feel …”
“Tell me, Mr. Dimitri,” she began; “the day before yesterday, when you came to talk to me, you didn’t, I assume, know then … didn’t feel …”
“I felt it,” Sanin broke in; “but I did not know it. I have loved you from the very instant I saw you; but I did not realise at once what you had become to me! And besides, I heard that you were solemnly betrothed…. As far as your mother’s request is concerned—in the first place, how could I refuse?—and secondly, I think I carried out her request in such a way that you could guess….”
“I felt it,” Sanin interrupted; “but I didn’t recognize it. I’ve loved you from the moment I first saw you, but I didn’t immediately understand what you meant to me! And on top of that, I heard you were officially engaged…. As for your mother’s request—first of all, how could I say no?—and secondly, I think I fulfilled her request in a way that you could figure out….”
They heard a heavy tread, and a rather stout gentleman with a knapsack over his shoulder, apparently a foreigner, emerged from behind the clump, and staring, with the unceremoniousness of a tourist, at the couple sitting on the garden-seat, gave a loud cough and went on.
They heard heavy footsteps, and a somewhat hefty man with a backpack over his shoulder, clearly a tourist, came out from behind the bushes. He stared at the couple sitting on the garden bench without any hesitation, cleared his throat loudly, and continued on his way.
“Your mother,” Sanin began, as soon as the sound of the heavy footsteps had ceased, “told me your breaking off your engagement would cause a scandal”—Gemma frowned a little—that I was myself in part responsible for unpleasant gossip, and that … consequently … I was, to some extent, under an obligation to advise you not to break with your betrothed, Herr Klüber….”
“Your mom,” Sanin started, once the sound of the heavy footsteps stopped, “told me that ending your engagement would cause a scandal”—Gemma frowned slightly—“that I was partly responsible for the unpleasant gossip, and that … as a result … I had, to some extent, a duty to advise you against breaking up with your fiancé, Herr Klüber….”
“Monsieur Dimitri,” said Gemma, and she passed her hand over her hair on the side turned towards Sanin, “don’t, please, call Herr Klüber my betrothed. I shall never be his wife. I have broken with him.”
“Monsieur Dimitri,” said Gemma, and she brushed her hair back on the side facing Sanin, “please don’t refer to Herr Klüber as my fiancé. I will never be his wife. I’ve ended things with him.”
“You have broken with him? when?”
“You broke up with him? When?”
“Yesterday.”
"Yesterday."
“You saw him?”
"Did you see him?"
“Yes. At our house. He came to see us.”
“Yes, at our place. He came to visit us.”
“Gemma? Then you love me?”
"Gemma? So, you love me?"
She turned to him.
She faced him.
“Should … I have come here, if not?” she whispered, and both her hands fell on the seat.
“Should I have come here, if not?” she whispered, and both her hands dropped onto the seat.
Sanin snatched those powerless, upturned palms, and pressed them to his eyes, to his lips…. Now the veil was lifted of which he had dreamed the night before! Here was happiness, here was its radiant form!
Sanin grabbed those helpless, turned-up palms and pressed them to his eyes, to his lips…. Now the veil he had dreamed of the night before was lifted! Here was happiness, here was its glowing form!
He raised his head, and looked at Gemma, boldly and directly. She, too, looked at him, a little downwards. Her half-shut eyes faintly glistened, dim with light, blissful tears. Her face was not smiling … no! it laughed, with a blissful, noiseless laugh.
He lifted his head and looked at Gemma, boldly and directly. She also looked at him, slightly downward. Her half-closed eyes faintly shone, dim with light, blissful tears. Her face wasn't smiling… no! It laughed, with a blissful, silent laugh.
He tried to draw her to him, but she drew back, and never ceasing to laugh the same noiseless laugh, shook her head. “Wait a little,” her happy eyes seemed to say.
He reached out to pull her closer, but she stepped back, and while still laughing silently, she shook her head. “Just wait a bit,” her joyful eyes seemed to convey.
“O Gemma!” cried Sanin: “I never dreamed that you would love me!”
“O Gemma!” Sanin exclaimed. “I never imagined that you would love me!”
“I did not expect this myself,” Gemma said softly.
“I didn’t expect this myself,” Gemma said quietly.
“How could I ever have dreamed,” Sanin went on, “when I came to Frankfort, where I only expected to remain a few hours, that I should find here the happiness of all my life!”
“How could I have ever imagined,” Sanin continued, “when I arrived in Frankfurt, where I thought I would only stay for a few hours, that I would discover the happiness of my entire life here!”
“All your life? Really?” queried Gemma.
"Your whole life? Seriously?" asked Gemma.
“All my life, for ever and ever!” cried Sanin with fresh ardour.
“All my life, forever and ever!” shouted Sanin with renewed passion.
The gardener’s spade suddenly scraped two paces from where they were sitting.
The gardener's spade suddenly scraped just a couple of steps away from where they were sitting.
“Let’s go home,” whispered Gemma: “we’ll go together—will you?”
“Let’s go home,” Gemma whispered. “We’ll go together—will you?”
If she had said to him at that instant “Throw yourself in the sea, will you?” he would have been flying headlong into the ocean before she had uttered the last word.
If she had said to him at that moment, “Jump into the sea, will you?” he would have been diving right into the ocean before she finished the last word.
They went together out of the garden and turned homewards, not by the streets of the town, but through the outskirts.
They left the garden together and headed home, not through the town's streets, but along the outskirts.
XXVIII
Sanin walked along, at one time by Gemma’s side, at another time a little behind her. He never took his eyes off her and never ceased smiling. She seemed to hasten … seemed to linger. As a matter of fact, they both—he all pale, and she all flushed with emotion—were moving along as in a dream. What they had done together a few instants before—that surrender of each soul to another soul—was so intense, so new, and so moving; so suddenly everything in their lives had been changed and displaced that they could not recover themselves, and were only aware of a whirlwind carrying them along, like the whirlwind on that night, which had almost flung them into each other’s arms. Sanin walked along, and felt that he even looked at Gemma with other eyes; he instantly noted some peculiarities in her walk, in her movements,—and heavens! how infinitely sweet and precious they were to him! And she felt that that was how he was looking at her.
Sanin walked beside Gemma at times, and sometimes a little behind her. He never took his eyes off her and kept smiling. She seemed to hurry … seemed to pause. In reality, they were both—he all pale, and she all flushed with emotion—moving through a dream. What they had done just moments before—that surrender of each soul to the other—was so intense, new, and touching; everything in their lives had suddenly changed and been turned upside down that they couldn’t gather themselves, only aware of a whirlwind carrying them along, just like the whirlwind that night, which had nearly thrown them into each other’s arms. Sanin walked on, feeling as though he was seeing Gemma with new eyes; he immediately noticed some details in her walk, in her movements—and oh, how incredibly sweet and precious they were to him! And she felt that was how he was looking at her.
Sanin and she were in love for the first time; all the miracles of first love were working in them. First love is like a revolution; the uniformly regular routine of ordered life is broken down and shattered in one instant; youth mounts the barricade, waves high its bright flag, and whatever awaits it in the future—death or a new life—all alike it goes to meet with ecstatic welcome.
Sanin and she were experiencing love for the first time; all the magic of first love was alive in them. First love is like a revolution; the usual, predictable routine of life gets broken and shattered in an instant; youth rushes to the forefront, waving its bright flag, and whatever the future holds—whether it’s death or a new beginning—it eagerly embraces with ecstatic joy.
“What’s this? Isn’t that our old friend?” said Sanin, pointing to a muffled-up figure, which hurriedly slipped a little aside as though trying to remain unobserved. In the midst of his abundant happiness he felt a need to talk to Gemma, not of love—that was a settled thing and holy—but of something else.
“What's this? Isn't that our old friend?” said Sanin, pointing to a bundled-up figure that quickly moved to the side as if trying to avoid being seen. In the midst of his overwhelming happiness, he felt a desire to talk to Gemma, not about love—that was a done deal and sacred—but about something else.
“Yes, it’s Pantaleone,” Gemma answered gaily and happily. “Most likely he has been following me ever since I left home; all day yesterday he kept watching every movement I made … He guesses!”
“Yes, it’s Pantaleone,” Gemma replied cheerfully and happily. “He’s probably been following me since I left home; all day yesterday he was watching my every move… He suspects!”
“He guesses!” Sanin repeated in ecstasy. What could Gemma have said at which he would not have been in ecstasy?
“He guesses!” Sanin repeated excitedly. What could Gemma have said that wouldn't have made him ecstatic?
Then he asked her to tell him in detail all that had passed the day before.
Then he asked her to explain in detail everything that happened the day before.
And she began at once telling him, with haste, and confusion, and smiles, and brief sighs, and brief bright looks exchanged with Sanin. She said that after their conversation the day before yesterday, mamma had kept trying to get out of her something positive; but that she had put off Frau Lenore with a promise to tell her her decision within twenty-four hours; how she had demanded this limit of time for herself, and how difficult it had been to get it; how utterly unexpectedly Herr Klüber had made his appearance more starched and affected than ever; how he had given vent to his indignation at the childish, unpardonable action of the Russian stranger—“he meant your duel, Dimitri,”—which he described as deeply insulting to him, Klüber, and how he had demanded that “you should be at once refused admittance to the house, Dimitri.” “For,” he had added—and here Gemma slightly mimicked his voice and manner—“‘it casts a slur on my honour; as though I were not able to defend my betrothed, had I thought it necessary or advisable! All Frankfort will know by to-morrow that an outsider has fought a duel with an officer on account of my betrothed—did any one ever hear of such a thing! It tarnishes my honour!” Mamma agreed with him—fancy!—but then I suddenly told him that he was troubling himself unnecessarily about his honour and his character, and was unnecessarily annoyed at the gossip about his betrothed, for I was no longer betrothed to him and would never be his wife! I must own, I had meant to talk to you first … before breaking with him finally; but he came … and I could not restrain myself. Mamma positively screamed with horror, but I went into the next room and got his ring—you didn’t notice, I took it off two days ago—and gave it to him. He was fearfully offended, but as he is fearfully self-conscious and conceited, he did not say much, and went away. Of course I had to go through a great deal with mamma, and it made me very wretched to see how distressed she was, and I thought I had been a little hasty; but you see I had your note, and even apart from it I knew …”
And she immediately started telling him, with urgency, confusion, smiles, and quick looks exchanged with Sanin. She said that after their conversation the day before yesterday, Mom had kept trying to get a definitive answer from her; but she had managed to stall Frau Lenore with a promise to let her know her decision within twenty-four hours; how she had insisted on that time frame for herself and how difficult it had been to negotiate it; how completely unexpectedly Herr Klüber had shown up, more prim and affected than ever; how he had expressed his outrage at the childish and unforgivable action of the Russian stranger—“meaning your duel, Dimitri,”—which he described as deeply insulting to him, Klüber, and how he had demanded that “you should immediately be denied entry to the house, Dimitri.” “For,” he added—and here Gemma slightly imitated his voice and manner—“‘it tarnishes my honor; as if I were unable to defend my fiancée, had I thought it necessary or appropriate! Everyone in Frankfurt will know by tomorrow that an outsider fought a duel with an officer over my fiancée—has anyone ever heard of such a thing! It jeopardizes my honor!” Mom agreed with him—can you believe it!—but then I suddenly told him that he was worrying unnecessarily about his honor and reputation, and was getting unnecessarily upset about the rumors regarding his fiancée, because I was no longer engaged to him and would never be his wife! I must admit, I had intended to talk to you first … before finally ending things with him; but he showed up … and I couldn’t hold myself back. Mom absolutely screamed in horror, but I went into the next room and got his ring—you didn’t notice, I took it off two days ago—and gave it back to him. He was extremely offended, but since he’s very self-conscious and vain, he didn’t say much and left. Of course, I had to go through a lot with Mom, and it made me very unhappy to see how upset she was, and I thought I might have been a bit hasty; but you see, I had your note, and even aside from it, I knew …”
“That I love you,” put in Sanin.
"That I love you," Sanin added.
“Yes … that you were in love with me.”
“Yes … that you were in love with me.”
So Gemma talked, hesitating and smiling and dropping her voice or stopping altogether every time any one met them or passed by. And Sanin listened ecstatically, enjoying the very sound of her voice, as the day before he had gloated over her handwriting.
So Gemma talked, hesitating and smiling, lowering her voice or stopping completely whenever someone approached or walked by. And Sanin listened with delight, relishing the sound of her voice, just as he had reveled in her handwriting the day before.
“Mamma is very much distressed,” Gemma began again, and her words flew very rapidly one after another; “she refuses to take into consideration that I dislike Herr Klüber, that I never was betrothed to him from love, but only because of her urgent entreaties…. She suspects—you, Dimitri; that’s to say, to speak plainly, she’s convinced I’m in love with you, and she is more unhappy about it because only the day before yesterday nothing of the sort had occurred to her, and she even begged you to advise me…. It was a strange request, wasn’t it? Now she calls you … Dimitri, a hypocrite and a cunning fellow, says that you have betrayed her confidence, and predicts that you will deceive me….”
“Mama is really upset,” Gemma started again, her words coming out quickly one after another. “She won’t accept that I don’t like Herr Klüber, that I was never engaged to him out of love, but only because she insisted… She suspects you, Dimitri; to be honest, she’s sure I’m in love with you, and it makes her even more unhappy because just the day before yesterday, she hadn’t thought that at all, and she even asked you for advice… It was a strange request, wasn’t it? Now she calls you… Dimitri, a fake and manipulative person, saying that you’ve betrayed her trust and predicting that you’ll betray me…”
“But, Gemma,” cried Sanin, “do you mean to say you didn’t tell her?…”
“But, Gemma,” shouted Sanin, “are you saying you didn’t tell her?…”
“I told her nothing! What right had I without consulting you?”
“I didn’t say anything to her! What right did I have to do that without talking to you first?”
Sanin threw up his arms. “Gemma, I hope that now, at least, you will tell all to her and take me to her…. I want to convince your mother that I am not a base deceiver!”
Sanin raised his arms. “Gemma, I hope that now, at least, you will tell her everything and take me to her…. I want to show your mother that I’m not a lowly deceiver!”
Sanin’s bosom fairly heaved with the flood of generous and ardent emotions.
Sanin's chest swelled with a rush of passionate and heartfelt emotions.
Gemma looked him full in the face. “You really want to go with me now to mamma? to mamma, who maintains that … all this between us is impossible—and can never come to pass?” There was one word Gemma could not bring herself to utter…. It burnt her lips; but all the more eagerly Sanin pronounced it.
Gemma looked him straight in the eye. “You really want to go with me now to Mom? To Mom, who insists that … all of this between us is impossible—and can never happen?” There was one word Gemma couldn't bring herself to say… It burned her lips; but Sanin pronounced it all the more eagerly.
“Marry you, Gemma, be your husband—I can imagine no bliss greater!”
“Marry you, Gemma, and be your husband—I can’t imagine any greater joy!”
To his love, his magnanimity, his determination—he was aware of no limits now.
To his love, his generosity, his determination—he felt like there were no limits now.
When she heard those words, Gemma, who had stopped still for an instant, went on faster than ever…. She seemed trying to run away from this too great and unexpected happiness! But suddenly her steps faltered. Round the corner of a turning, a few paces from her, in a new hat and coat, straight as an arrow and curled like a poodle—emerged Herr Klüber. He caught sight of Gemma, caught sight of Sanin, and with a sort of inward snort and a backward bend of his supple figure, he advanced with a dashing swing to meet them. Sanin felt a pang; but glancing at Klüber’s face, to which its owner endeavoured, as far as in him lay, to give an expression of scornful amazement, and even commiseration, glancing at that red-cheeked, vulgar face, he felt a sudden rush of anger, and took a step forward.
When Gemma heard those words, she paused for a moment but then hurried on faster than ever. It was like she was trying to escape this overwhelming and unexpected happiness! But suddenly her pace slowed. Just around the corner, a few steps away, in a new hat and coat, tall and sleek like an arrow and styled like a poodle, was Herr Klüber. He spotted Gemma, noticed Sanin, and with a sort of internal snort and an arch of his flexible body, he swaggered toward them. Sanin felt a jolt of discomfort, but as he looked at Klüber's face, which the man was trying to twist into a mix of scornful surprise and even pity, he saw that red-cheeked, crude face and a surge of anger swept over him, prompting him to step forward.
Gemma seized his arm, and with quiet decision, giving him hers, she looked her former betrothed full in the face…. The latter screwed up his face, shrugged his shoulders, shuffled to one side, and muttering between his teeth, “The usual end to the song!” (Das alte Ende vom Liede!)—walked away with the same dashing, slightly skipping gait.
Gemma grabbed his arm, and with calm determination, offering him her hand, she looked her former fiancé straight in the eye… He grimaced, shrugged his shoulders, shuffled to the side, and muttered under his breath, "The usual ending to the song!" (Das alte Ende vom Liede!)—and walked away with the same confident, slightly bouncing stride.
“What did he say, the wretched creature?” asked Sanin, and would have rushed after Klüber; but Gemma held him back and walked on with him, not taking away the arm she had slipped into his.
“What did that miserable creature say?” Sanin asked, wanting to chase after Klüber; but Gemma held him back and continued walking with him, keeping her arm linked with his.
The Rosellis’ shop came into sight. Gemma stopped once more.
The Rosellis' shop appeared ahead. Gemma paused again.
“Dimitri, Monsieur Dimitri,” she said, “we are not there yet, we have not seen mamma yet…. If you would rather think a little, if … you are still free, Dimitri!”
“Dimitri, Mr. Dimitri,” she said, “we aren’t there yet, we haven’t seen mom yet…. If you’d rather think for a bit, if … you’re still free, Dimitri!”
In reply Sanin pressed her hand tightly to his bosom, and drew her on.
In response, Sanin held her hand tightly to his chest and pulled her closer.
“Mamma,” said Gemma, going with Sanin to the room where Frau Lenore was sitting, “I have brought the real one!”
“Mama,” said Gemma, following Sanin to the room where Frau Lenore was sitting, “I’ve brought the real one!”
XXIX
If Gemma had announced that she had brought with her cholera or death itself, one can hardly imagine that Frau Lenore could have received the news with greater despair. She immediately sat down in a corner, with her face to the wall, and burst into floods of tears, positively wailed, for all the world like a Russian peasant woman on the grave of her husband or her son. For the first minute Gemma was so taken aback that she did not even go up to her mother, but stood still like a statue in the middle of the room; while Sanin was utterly stupefied, to the point of almost bursting into tears himself! For a whole hour that inconsolable wail went on—a whole hour! Pantaleone thought it better to shut the outer door of the shop, so that no stranger should come; luckily, it was still early. The old man himself did not know what to think, and in any case, did not approve of the haste with which Gemma and Sanin had acted; he could not bring himself to blame them, and was prepared to give them his support in case of need: he greatly disliked Klüber! Emil regarded himself as the medium of communication between his friend and his sister, and almost prided himself on its all having turned out so splendidly! He was positively unable to conceive why Frau Lenore was so upset, and in his heart he decided on the spot that women, even the best of them, suffer from a lack of reasoning power! Sanin fared worst of all. Frau Lenore rose to a howl and waved him off with her hands, directly he approached her; and it was in vain that he attempted once or twice to shout aloud, standing at a distance, “I ask you for your daughter’s hand!” Frau Lenore was particularly angry with herself. “How could she have been so blind—have seen nothing? Had my Giovann’ Battista been alive,” she persisted through her tears, “nothing of this sort would have happened!” “Heavens, what’s it all about?” thought Sanin; “why, it’s positively senseless!” He did not dare to look at Gemma, nor could she pluck up courage to lift her eyes to him. She restricted herself to waiting patiently on her mother, who at first repelled even her….
If Gemma had said that she brought cholera or death itself, you can hardly imagine that Frau Lenore could have received the news with more despair. She immediately sat down in a corner, facing the wall, and broke into tears, wailing like a Russian peasant woman at the grave of her husband or son. For the first minute, Gemma was so shocked that she didn’t even go to her mother, standing frozen in the middle of the room, while Sanin was so stunned that he nearly started crying himself! That inconsolable wailing went on for a whole hour—a whole hour! Pantaleone thought it was better to close the shop’s outer door to keep strangers out; luckily, it was still early. The old man didn’t know what to think and certainly didn’t approve of how quickly Gemma and Sanin had acted; he couldn’t bring himself to blame them and was ready to support them if needed: he really didn’t like Klüber! Emil saw himself as the go-between for his friend and his sister and almost took pride in how well everything had turned out! He simply couldn’t understand why Frau Lenore was so upset and decided right then and there that women, even the best of them, lack common sense! Sanin had it the worst. Frau Lenore let out a wail and waved him away as soon as he approached her; it was useless for him to shout from a distance, “I ask for your daughter’s hand!” Frau Lenore was especially angry with herself. “How could I have been so blind—seen nothing? If my Giovann’ Battista had been alive,” she insisted through her tears, “none of this would have happened!” “Heavens, what’s going on here?” thought Sanin; “this is completely senseless!” He didn’t dare look at Gemma, and she couldn’t muster the courage to meet his eyes. She just focused on waiting on her mother, who initially even pushed her away….
At last, by degrees, the storm abated. Frau Lenore gave over weeping, permitted Gemma to bring her out of the corner, where she sat huddled up, to put her into an arm-chair near the window, and to give her some orange-flower water to drink. She permitted Sanin—not to approach … oh, no!—but, at any rate, to remain in the room—she had kept clamouring for him to go away—and did not interrupt him when he spoke. Sanin immediately availed himself of the calm as it set in, and displayed an astounding eloquence. He could hardly have explained his intentions and emotions with more fire and persuasive force even to Gemma herself. Those emotions were of the sincerest, those intentions were of the purest, like Almaviva’s in the Barber of Seville. He did not conceal from Frau Lenore nor from himself the disadvantageous side of those intentions; but the disadvantages were only apparent! It is true he was a foreigner; they had not known him long, they knew nothing positive about himself or his means; but he was prepared to bring forward all the necessary evidence that he was a respectable person and not poor; he would refer them to the most unimpeachable testimony of his fellow-countrymen! He hoped Gemma would be happy with him, and that he would be able to make up to her for the separation from her own people!… The allusion to “separation”—the mere word “separation”—almost spoiled the whole business…. Frau Lenore began to tremble all over and move about uneasily…. Sanin hastened to observe that the separation would only be temporary, and that, in fact, possibly it would not take place at all!
At last, little by little, the storm calmed down. Frau Lenore stopped crying and let Gemma help her out of the corner where she had been sitting hunched up. Gemma moved her to an armchair by the window and gave her some orange-flower water to drink. Frau Lenore allowed Sanin—not to come too close… oh, no!—but at least to stay in the room. She had been insisting that he leave, but now she didn’t interrupt him when he talked. Sanin quickly took advantage of the newfound calm and spoke with incredible eloquence. He couldn’t have explained his feelings and intentions with more passion and persuasion, even to Gemma herself. His emotions were utterly genuine, and his intentions were completely sincere, like Almaviva’s in the Barber of Seville. He didn’t hide from Frau Lenore or from himself the drawbacks of his intentions; but those drawbacks were merely surface-level! It’s true he was a foreigner; they hadn’t known him for long, and they didn’t know anything definite about him or his background. Still, he was ready to provide all the necessary proof that he was a respectable person and not poor; he would refer them to the most reliable testimonies from his fellow countrymen! He hoped Gemma would be happy with him and that he could help her cope with being away from her own people!… The mention of “separation”—just the word “separation”—almost ruined everything…. Frau Lenore started trembling and fidgeting nervously…. Sanin quickly pointed out that the separation would only be temporary, and that, in fact, it might not happen at all!
Sanin’s eloquence was not thrown away. Frau Lenore began to glance at him, though still with bitterness and reproach, no longer with the same aversion and fury; then she suffered him to come near her, and even to sit down beside her (Gemma was sitting on the other side); then she fell to reproaching him,—not in looks only, but in words, which already indicated a certain softening of heart; she fell to complaining, and her complaints became quieter and gentler; they were interspersed with questions addressed at one time to her daughter, and at another to Sanin; then she suffered him to take her hand and did not at once pull it away … then she wept again, but her tears were now quite of another kind…. Then she smiled mournfully, and lamented the absence of Giovanni Battista, but quite on different grounds from before…. An instant more and the two criminals, Sanin and Gemma, were on their knees at her feet, and she was laying her hands on their heads in turn; another instant and they were embracing and kissing her, and Emil, his face beaming rapturously, ran into the room and added himself to the group so warmly united.
Sanin’s eloquence wasn’t wasted. Frau Lenore started to look at him, though still with bitterness and reproach, without the same aversion and anger; then she let him come closer and even sit next to her (Gemma was on the other side); then she began to criticize him—not just with her eyes but with words, which showed a hint of her heart softening; she started to complain, and her complaints grew quieter and more gentle; they were mixed with questions directed at her daughter one moment and at Sanin the next; then she allowed him to take her hand and didn’t immediately pull away… then she cried again, but her tears were now a different kind… Then she smiled sadly and expressed regret over Giovanni Battista's absence, but for reasons that were different than before… In a moment, the two wrongdoers, Sanin and Gemma, were on their knees at her feet, and she was placing her hands on their heads in turn; another moment and they were hugging and kissing her, while Emil, his face glowing with joy, rushed into the room and joined the closely-knit group.
Pantaleone peeped into the room, smiled and frowned at the same time, and going into the shop, opened the front door.
Pantaleone peeked into the room, smiled and frowned at the same time, and then walked into the shop, opening the front door.
XXX
The transition from despair to sadness, and from that to “gentle resignation,” was accomplished fairly quickly in Frau Lenore; but that gentle resignation, too, was not slow in changing into a secret satisfaction, which was, however, concealed in every way and suppressed for the sake of appearances. Sanin had won Frau Lenore’s heart from the first day of their acquaintance; as she got used to the idea of his being her son-in-law, she found nothing particularly distasteful in it, though she thought it her duty to preserve a somewhat hurt, or rather careworn, expression on her face. Besides, everything that had happened the last few days had been so extraordinary…. One thing upon the top of another. As a practical woman and a mother, Frau Lenore considered it her duty also to put Sanin through various questions; and Sanin, who, on setting out that morning to meet Gemma, had not a notion that he should marry her—it is true he did not think of anything at all at that time, but simply gave himself up to the current of his passion—Sanin entered, with perfect readiness, one might even say with zeal, into his part—the part of the betrothed lover, and answered all her inquiries circumstantially, exactly, with alacrity. When she had satisfied herself that he was a real nobleman by birth, and had even expressed some surprise that he was not a prince, Frau Lenore assumed a serious air and “warned him betimes” that she should be quite unceremoniously frank with him, as she was forced to be so by her sacred duty as a mother! To which Sanin replied that he expected nothing else from her, and that he earnestly begged her not to spare him!
The shift from despair to sadness, and then to “gentle acceptance,” happened pretty quickly for Frau Lenore; but that gentle acceptance soon turned into a hidden satisfaction, which she kept under wraps for the sake of appearances. From the very first day they met, Sanin had captured Frau Lenore’s heart; as she got used to the idea of him being her son-in-law, she didn’t find it too off-putting, though she felt it was her duty to maintain a somewhat hurt, or rather worn-out, expression. Moreover, everything that had unfolded in the past few days had been so extraordinary… One thing after another. Being a practical woman and a mother, Frau Lenore thought it necessary to put Sanin through various questions; and Sanin, who that morning had no intention of marrying Gemma—it’s true he wasn’t thinking about anything then, but was simply swept away by his passion—entered into his role of the engaged lover readily, one could even say enthusiastically, and answered all her questions in detail, accurately, and with eagerness. Once she was satisfied that he was a genuine nobleman by birth, and even expressed some surprise that he wasn’t a prince, Frau Lenore took on a serious demeanor and “warned him in advance” that she would be quite frank with him, as she felt compelled to do by her sacred duty as a mother! To which Sanin replied that he expected nothing less from her and earnestly asked her not to hold back!
Then Frau Lenore observed that Herr Klüber—as she uttered the name, she sighed faintly, tightened her lips, and hesitated—Herr Klüber, Gemma’s former betrothed, already possessed an income of eight thousand guldens, and that with every year this sum would rapidly be increased; and what was his, Herr Sanin’s income? “Eight thousand guldens,” Sanin repeated deliberately…. “That’s in our money … about fifteen thousand roubles…. My income is much smaller. I have a small estate in the province of Tula…. With good management, it might yield—and, in fact, it could not fail to yield—five or six thousand … and if I go into the government service, I can easily get a salary of two thousand a year.”
Then Frau Lenore noted that Herr Klüber—when she said his name, she let out a faint sigh, pursed her lips, and hesitated—Herr Klüber, Gemma’s former fiancé, already had an income of eight thousand guldens, and that this amount would quickly increase every year; and what about his income, Herr Sanin? “Eight thousand guldens,” Sanin repeated slowly…. “That’s about fifteen thousand roubles in our money…. My income is much less. I own a small estate in Tula province…. With good management, it could yield—and it definitely would yield—five or six thousand … and if I take a job in government, I could easily earn a salary of two thousand a year.”
“Into the service in Russia?” cried Frau Lenore, “Then I must part with Gemma!”
“Going into service in Russia?” exclaimed Frau Lenore, “Then I have to say goodbye to Gemma!”
“One might be able to enter in the diplomatic service,” Sanin put in; “I have some connections…. There one’s duties lie abroad. Or else, this is what one might do, and that’s much the best of all: sell my estate and employ the sum received for it in some profitable undertaking; for instance, the improvement of your shop.” Sanin was aware that he was saying something absurd, but he was possessed by an incomprehensible recklessness! He looked at Gemma, who, ever since the “practical” conversation began, kept getting up, walking about the room, and sitting down again—he looked at her—and no obstacle existed for him, and he was ready to arrange everything at once in the best way, if only she were not troubled!
“One option could be to join the diplomatic service,” Sanin suggested. “I have some connections... There, your work would be overseas. Or, here’s another idea, which is probably the best: sell my estate and invest the proceeds into something profitable; for example, enhancing your shop.” Sanin knew he was saying something ridiculous, but he felt a strange boldness! He glanced at Gemma, who, since the “practical” conversation started, kept getting up, wandering around the room, and sitting back down—he looked at her—and nothing stood in his way, and he was ready to organize everything immediately in the best possible way, if only she weren’t upset!
“Herr Klüber, too, had intended to give me a small sum for the improvement of the shop,” Lenore observed after a slight hesitation.
“Herr Klüber also planned to give me a small amount for the improvement of the shop,” Lenore noted after a brief pause.
“Mother! for mercy’s sake, mother!” cried Gemma in Italian.
“Mom! For mercy’s sake, mom!” cried Gemma in Italian.
“These things must be discussed in good time, my daughter,” Frau Lenore replied in the same language. She addressed herself again to Sanin, and began questioning him as to the laws existing in Russia as to marriage, and whether there were no obstacles to contracting marriages with Catholics as in Prussia. (At that time, in 1840, all Germany still remembered the controversy between the Prussian Government and the Archbishop of Cologne upon mixed marriages.) When Frau Lenore heard that by marrying a Russian nobleman, her daughter would herself become of noble rank, she evinced a certain satisfaction. “But, of course, you will first have to go to Russia?”
“These things need to be talked about in good time, my daughter,” Frau Lenore replied in the same tone. She turned back to Sanin and started asking him about the marriage laws in Russia and whether there were any issues with marrying Catholics like there were in Prussia. (At that time, in 1840, all of Germany still remembered the dispute between the Prussian Government and the Archbishop of Cologne regarding mixed marriages.) When Frau Lenore learned that by marrying a Russian nobleman, her daughter would also achieve noble status, she showed some satisfaction. “But, of course, you’ll first have to go to Russia?”
“Why?”
“Why?”
“Why? Why, to obtain the permission of your Tsar.”
“Why? To get the permission of your Tsar.”
Sanin explained to her that that was not at all necessary … but that he might certainly have to go to Russia for a very short time before his marriage—(he said these words, and his heart ached painfully, Gemma watching him, knew it was aching, and blushed and grew dreamy)—and that he would try to take advantage of being in his own country to sell his estate … in any case he would bring back the money needed.
Sanin told her that it wasn’t necessary at all… but that he might have to go to Russia for a very short time before his wedding—(he said this, and his heart ached painfully; Gemma watched him, knew he was in pain, and blushed and became dreamy)—and that he would try to make the most of being in his own country to sell his estate… in any case, he would bring back the money he needed.
“I would ask you to bring me back some good Astrakhan lambskin for a cape,” said Frau Lenore. “They’re wonderfully good, I hear, and wonderfully cheap!”
“I’d like you to get me some nice Astrakhan lambskin for a cape,” said Frau Lenore. “I hear it’s really good quality and pretty affordable!”
“Certainly, with the greatest pleasure, I will bring some for you and for Gemma!” cried Sanin.
“Of course, I’ll be happy to get some for you and Gemma!” Sanin exclaimed.
“And for me a morocco cap worked in silver,” Emil interposed, putting his head in from the next room.
“And for me, a silver morocco cap,” Emil chimed in, sticking his head in from the next room.
“Very well, I will bring it you … and some slippers for Pantaleone.”
“Alright, I’ll bring it to you … and some slippers for Pantaleone.”
“Come, that’s nonsense, nonsense,” observed Frau Lenore. “We are talking now of serious matters. But there’s another point,” added the practical lady. “You talk of selling your estate. But how will you do that? Will you sell your peasants then, too?”
“Come on, that’s ridiculous, ridiculous,” said Frau Lenore. “We’re discussing serious issues now. But there’s another point,” the practical woman added. “You’re talking about selling your estate. But how are you going to do that? Are you going to sell your peasants as well?”
Sanin felt something like a stab at his heart. He remembered that in a conversation with Signora Roselli and her daughter about serfdom, which, in his own words, aroused his deepest indignation, he had repeatedly assured them that never on any account would he sell his peasants, as he regarded such a sale as an immoral act.
Sanin felt a sharp pain in his heart. He recalled that during a discussion with Signora Roselli and her daughter about serfdom, which he had expressed his strong feelings about, he had repeatedly assured them that he would never, under any circumstances, sell his peasants, as he saw such a sale as an immoral act.
“I will try and sell my estate to some man I know something of,” he articulated, not without faltering, “or perhaps the peasants themselves will want to buy their freedom.”
“I'll try to sell my estate to someone I know a bit about,” he said, hesitating slightly, “or maybe the peasants themselves will want to buy their freedom.”
“That would be best of all,” Frau Lenore agreed. “Though indeed selling live people …”
“That would be the best of all,” Frau Lenore agreed. “Though selling live people…”
“Barbari!” grumbled Pantaleone, who showed himself behind Emil in the doorway, shook his topknot, and vanished.
“Barbarians!” complained Pantaleone, who appeared behind Emil in the doorway, shook his topknot, and disappeared.
“It’s a bad business!” Sanin thought to himself, and stole a look at Gemma. She seemed not to have heard his last words. “Well, never mind!” he thought again. In this way the practical talk continued almost uninterruptedly till dinner-time. Frau Lenore was completely softened at last, and already called Sanin “Dimitri,” shook her finger affectionately at him, and promised she would punish him for his treachery. She asked many and minute questions about his relations, because “that too is very important”; asked him to describe the ceremony of marriage as performed by the ritual of the Russian Church, and was in raptures already at Gemma in a white dress, with a gold crown on her head.
“It’s a bad business!” Sanin thought to himself, and stole a look at Gemma. She didn’t seem to have heard his last words. “Well, never mind!” he thought again. The practical conversation went on almost nonstop until dinner time. Frau Lenore was completely won over at last and already called Sanin “Dimitri,” shook her finger at him affectionately, and promised she would punish him for his betrayal. She asked many detailed questions about his family, because “that too is very important”; asked him to describe the marriage ceremony as performed by the Russian Church, and was already thrilled at the thought of Gemma in a white dress, with a gold crown on her head.
“She’s as lovely as a queen,” she murmured with motherly pride, “indeed there’s no queen like her in the world!”
“She’s as beautiful as a queen,” she whispered with motherly pride, “truly, there’s no queen like her anywhere!”
“There is no one like Gemma in the world!” Sanin chimed in.
“There's no one like Gemma in the world!” Sanin added.
“Yes; that’s why she is Gemma!” (Gemma, as every one knows, means in Italian a precious stone.)
“Yes; that’s why she is Gemma!” (Gemma, as everyone knows, means a precious stone in Italian.)
Gemma flew to kiss her mother…. It seemed as if only then she breathed freely again, and the load that had been oppressing her dropped from off her soul.
Gemma rushed to kiss her mother…. It felt like only then she could breathe freely again, and the weight that had been weighing her down lifted from her soul.
Sanin felt all at once so happy, his heart was filled with such childish gaiety at the thought, that here, after all, the dreams had come true to which he had abandoned himself not long ago in these very rooms, his whole being was in such a turmoil that he went quickly out into the shop. He felt a great desire, come what might, to sell something in the shop, as he had done a few days before…. “I have a full right to do so now!” he felt. “Why, I am one of the family now!” And he actually stood behind the counter, and actually kept shop, that is, sold two little girls, who came in, a pound of sweets, giving them fully two pounds, and only taking half the price from them.
Sanin suddenly felt really happy, his heart filled with a childlike joy at the thought that, after everything, the dreams he had devoted himself to not long ago in these same rooms had come true. He was in such a whirlwind of emotions that he quickly went out into the shop. He felt a strong urge, no matter what, to sell something like he had done a few days before…. “I have every right to do this now!” he thought. “After all, I’m part of the family now!” And he actually stood behind the counter, really running the shop, selling two little girls who came in a pound of sweets, giving them two pounds and only charging them half the price.
At dinner he received an official position, as betrothed, beside Gemma. Frau Lenore pursued her practical investigations. Emil kept laughing and urging Sanin to take him with him to Russia. It was decided that Sanin should set off in a fortnight. Only Pantaleone showed a somewhat sullen face, so much so that Frau Lenore reproached him. “And he was his second!” Pantaleone gave her a glance from under his brows.
At dinner, he was officially recognized as engaged, sitting next to Gemma. Frau Lenore continued her practical inquiries. Emil kept laughing and encouraging Sanin to take him along to Russia. It was agreed that Sanin would leave in two weeks. Only Pantaleone had a somewhat gloomy expression, so much so that Frau Lenore scolded him. “And he was his second!” Pantaleone shot her a look from beneath his brows.
Gemma was silent almost all the time, but her face had never been lovelier or brighter. After dinner she called Sanin out a minute into the garden, and stopping beside the very garden-seat where she had been sorting the cherries two days before, she said to him. “Dimitri, don’t be angry with me; but I must remind you once more that you are not to consider yourself bound …”
Gemma was quiet most of the time, but her face had never looked more beautiful or radiant. After dinner, she called Sanin out to the garden for a moment, and stopping next to the same garden bench where she had been sorting cherries two days earlier, she said to him, “Dimitri, please don’t be upset with me; but I have to remind you one more time that you shouldn’t feel obligated…”
He did not let her go on….
He wouldn't let her continue...
Gemma turned away her face. “And as for what mamma spoke of, do you remember, the difference of our religion—see here!…”
Gemma turned away her face. “And about what Mom mentioned, do you remember the difference in our religion—look here!…”
She snatched the garnet cross that hung round her neck on a thin cord, gave it a violent tug, snapped the cord, and handed him the cross.
She grabbed the garnet cross that was hanging around her neck on a thin string, tugged it hard, broke the string, and handed him the cross.
“If I am yours, your faith is my faith!” Sanin’s eyes were still wet when he went back with Gemma into the house.
“If I’m yours, your faith is my faith!” Sanin’s eyes were still damp when he went back inside the house with Gemma.
By the evening everything went on in its accustomed way. They even played a game of tresette.
By the evening, everything continued as usual. They even played a game of tresette.
XXXI
Sanin woke up very early. He found himself at the highest pinnacle of human happiness; but it was not that prevented him from sleeping; the question, the vital, fateful question—how he could dispose of his estate as quickly and as advantageously as possible—disturbed his rest. The most diverse plans were mixed up in his head, but nothing had as yet come out clearly. He went out of the house to get air and freshen himself. He wanted to present himself to Gemma with a project ready prepared and not without.
Sanin woke up very early. He found himself at the peak of human happiness; but it wasn't that that kept him from sleeping; the lingering, crucial question—how he could sell his estate quickly and profitably—was what troubled his rest. A jumble of different ideas swirled in his mind, but nothing had settled into clarity yet. He stepped outside to get some fresh air and clear his thoughts. He wanted to show Gemma a well-prepared plan and not a half-baked idea.
What was the figure, somewhat ponderous and thick in the legs, but well-dressed, walking in front of him, with a slight roll and waddle in his gait? Where had he seen that head, covered with tufts of flaxen hair, and as it were set right into the shoulders, that soft cushiony back, those plump arms hanging straight down at his sides? Could it be Polozov, his old schoolfellow, whom he had lost sight of for the last five years? Sanin overtook the figure walking in front of him, turned round…. A broad, yellowish face, little pig’s eyes, with white lashes and eyebrows, a short flat nose, thick lips that looked glued together, a round smooth chin, and that expression, sour, sluggish, and mistrustful—yes; it was he, it was Ippolit Polozov!
What was that figure, kind of heavy and thick in the legs, but nicely dressed, walking in front of him, with a slight roll and waddle in his walk? Where had he seen that head, topped with tufts of light-colored hair, almost nestled right into the shoulders, that soft, cushiony back, those chubby arms hanging straight down at his sides? Could it be Polozov, his old school friend, whom he hadn’t seen in the last five years? Sanin caught up with the figure ahead of him and turned around…. A broad, yellowish face, tiny pig-like eyes with white eyelashes and eyebrows, a short, flat nose, thick lips that seemed stuck together, a round smooth chin, and that expression, sour, sluggish, and distrustful—yes; it was him, it was Ippolit Polozov!
“Isn’t my lucky star working for me again?” flashed through Sanin’s mind.
“Isn’t my lucky star on my side again?” flashed through Sanin’s mind.
“Polozov! Ippolit Sidorovitch! Is it you?”
“Polozov! Ippolit Sidorovitch! Is that you?”
The figure stopped, raised his diminutive eyes, waited a little, and ungluing his lips at last, brought out in a rather hoarse falsetto, “Dimitri Sanin?”
The person stopped, looked up with his small eyes, paused for a moment, and finally spoke in a somewhat raspy voice, “Dimitri Sanin?”
“That’s me!” cried Sanin, and he shook one of Polozov’s hands; arrayed in tight kid-gloves of an ashen-grey colour, they hung as lifeless as before beside his barrel-shaped legs. “Have you been here long? Where have you come from? Where are you stopping?”
"That's me!" shouted Sanin, and he shook one of Polozov's hands; dressed in snug gray leather gloves, they dangled limply beside his barrel-shaped legs. "Have you been here long? Where did you come from? Where are you staying?"
“I came yesterday from Wiesbaden,” Polozov replied in deliberate tones, “to do some shopping for my wife, and I’m going back to Wiesbaden to-day.”
“I came yesterday from Wiesbaden,” Polozov replied slowly, “to do some shopping for my wife, and I’m going back to Wiesbaden today.”
“Oh, yes! You’re married, to be sure, and they say, to such a beauty!”
“Oh, yes! You’re definitely married, and they say it’s to such a beauty!”
Polozov turned his eyes away. “Yes, they say so.”
Polozov looked away. “Yeah, that’s what they say.”
Sanin laughed. “I see you’re just the same … as phlegmatic as you were at school.”
Sanin laughed. “I can see you’re still exactly the same … just as laid-back as you were in school.”
“Why should I be different?”
"Why should I stand out?"
“And they do say,” Sanin added with special emphasis on the word “do,” “that your wife is very rich.”
“And they say,” Sanin added, putting extra emphasis on the word “say,” “that your wife is really wealthy.”
“They say that too.”
"They say that too."
“Do you mean to say, Ippolit Sidorovitch, you are not certain on that point?”
“Are you saying, Ippolit Sidorovitch, that you're not sure about that?”
“I don’t meddle, my dear Dimitri … Pavlovitch? Yes, Pavlovitch!—in my wife’s affairs.”
“I don’t get involved, my dear Dimitri … Pavlovitch? Yes, Pavlovitch!—in my wife's matters.”
“You don’t meddle? Not in any of her affairs?”
“You don’t interfere? Not in any of her business?”
Polozov again shifted his eyes. “Not in any, my boy. She does as she likes, and so do I.”
Polozov glanced away again. “Not at all, my boy. She does what she wants, and so do I.”
“Where are you going now?” Sanin inquired.
“Where are you going now?” Sanin asked.
“I’m not going anywhere just now; I’m standing in the street and talking to you; but when we’ve finished talking, I’m going back to my hotel, and am going to have lunch.”
“I’m not going anywhere right now; I’m standing in the street and talking to you; but once we’re done talking, I’m heading back to my hotel and going to have lunch.”
“Would you care for my company?”
"Do you want to hang out?"
“You mean at lunch?”
"You mean during lunch?"
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“Delighted, it’s much pleasanter to eat in company. You’re not a great talker, are you?”
“Happy to be here, it’s way more enjoyable to eat with others. You’re not much of a talker, are you?”
“I think not.”
“I don't think so.”
“So much the better.”
"All the better."
Polozov went on. Sanin walked beside him. And Sanin speculated—Polozov’s lips were glued together, again he snorted heavily, and waddled along in silence—Sanin speculated in what way had this booby succeeded in catching a rich and beautiful wife. He was not rich himself, nor distinguished, nor clever; at school he had passed for a dull, slow-witted boy, sleepy, and greedy, and had borne the nickname “driveller.” It was marvellous!
Polozov continued on. Sanin walked next to him. And Sanin wondered—Polozov’s lips were pressed together, he snorted loudly again, and walked in silence—Sanin wondered how this clueless guy managed to land a rich and beautiful wife. He wasn't rich, distinguished, or smart himself; at school, he was seen as a dull, slow-witted kid, lazy, and selfish, and he had earned the nickname “driveller.” It was unbelievable!
“But if his wife is very rich, they say she’s the daughter of some sort of a contractor, won’t she buy my estate? Though he does say he doesn’t interfere in any of his wife’s affairs, that passes belief, really! Besides, I will name a moderate, reasonable price! Why not try? Perhaps, it’s all my lucky star…. Resolved! I’ll have a try!”
“But if his wife is super wealthy, they say she’s the daughter of some kind of contractor, won’t she buy my property? Even though he claims he doesn’t get involved in any of his wife’s matters, that’s hard to believe! Plus, I’ll set a fair, reasonable price! Why not give it a shot? Maybe this is my lucky break…. Decided! I’m going to try!”
Polozov led Sanin to one of the best hotels in Frankfort, in which he was, of course, occupying the best apartments. On the tables and chairs lay piles of packages, cardboard boxes, and parcels. “All purchases, my boy, for Maria Nikolaevna!” (that was the name of the wife of Ippolit Sidorovitch). Polozov dropped into an arm-chair, groaned, “Oh, the heat!” and loosened his cravat. Then he rang up the head-waiter, and ordered with intense care a very lavish luncheon. “And at one, the carriage is to be ready! Do you hear, at one o’clock sharp!”
Polozov took Sanin to one of the finest hotels in Frankfurt, where he was, of course, staying in the best suite. Tables and chairs were covered with stacks of packages, cardboard boxes, and parcels. “All these purchases, my boy, are for Maria Nikolaevna!” (that was the name of Ippolit Sidorovitch’s wife). Polozov sank into an armchair, groaned, “Oh, the heat!” and loosened his tie. Then he called the head waiter and carefully ordered an extravagant lunch. “And the carriage needs to be ready at one! Do you hear me, one o’clock sharp!”
The head-waiter obsequiously bowed, and cringingly withdrew.
The head waiter bowed submissively and awkwardly stepped back.
Polozov unbuttoned his waistcoat. From the very way in which he raised his eyebrows, gasped, and wrinkled up his nose, one could see that talking would be a great labour to him, and that he was waiting in some trepidation to see whether Sanin was going to oblige him to use his tongue, or whether he would take the task of keeping up the conversation on himself.
Polozov unbuttoned his vest. From the way he raised his eyebrows, gasped, and scrunched up his nose, it was clear that talking would be a big effort for him, and he was nervously waiting to see if Sanin was going to force him to speak, or if he would take on the job of keeping the conversation going himself.
Sanin understood his companion’s disposition of mind, and so he did not burden him with questions; he restricted himself to the most essential. He learnt that he had been for two years in the service (in the Uhlans! how nice he must have looked in the short uniform jacket!) that he had married three years before, and had now been for two years abroad with his wife, “who is now undergoing some sort of cure at Wiesbaden,” and was then going to Paris. On his side too, Sanin did not enlarge much on his past life and his plans; he went straight to the principal point—that is, he began talking of his intention of selling his estate.
Sanin understood what his friend was feeling, so he didn't overwhelm him with questions; he only asked what was absolutely necessary. He learned that his friend had been in the service for two years (in the Uhlans! He must have looked great in that short uniform jacket!) and had gotten married three years ago. For the past two years, they had been living abroad, and his wife was "undergoing some sort of treatment in Wiesbaden" before they headed to Paris. Similarly, Sanin didn’t go into detail about his own past or plans; he got straight to the point—he started talking about his intention to sell his estate.
Polozov listened to him in silence, his eyes straying from time to time to the door, by which the luncheon was to appear. The luncheon did appear at last. The head-waiter, accompanied by two other attendants, brought in several dishes under silver covers.
Polozov listened to him quietly, occasionally glancing at the door where lunch was supposed to come from. Finally, lunch arrived. The head waiter, along with two other staff members, brought in several dishes covered with silver lids.
“Is the property in the Tula province?” said Polozov, seating himself at the table, and tucking a napkin into his shirt collar.
“Is the property in Tula province?” Polozov asked, sitting down at the table and tucking a napkin into his collar.
“Yes.”
"Yeah."
“In the Efremovsky district … I know it.”
“In the Efremovsky district … I know it.”
“Do you know my place, Aleksyevka?” Sanin asked, sitting down too at the table.
“Do you know where my place is, Aleksyevka?” Sanin asked, sitting down at the table too.
“Yes, I know it.” Polozov thrust in his mouth a piece of omelette with truffles. “Maria Nikolaevna, my wife, has an estate in that neighbourhood…. Uncork that bottle, waiter! You’ve a good piece of land, only your peasants have cut down the timber. Why are you selling it?”
“Yes, I know that.” Polozov popped a piece of omelette with truffles into his mouth. “Maria Nikolaevna, my wife, has a property in that area… Open that bottle, waiter! You’ve got some nice land, but your peasants have chopped down the trees. Why are you selling it?”
“I want the money, my friend. I would sell it cheap. Come, you might as well buy it … by the way.”
“I want the money, my friend. I would sell it for a low price. Come on, you might as well buy it … by the way.”
Polozov gulped down a glass of wine, wiped his lips with the napkin, and again set to work chewing slowly and noisily.
Polozov downed a glass of wine, wiped his lips with a napkin, and started chewing slowly and loudly again.
“Oh,” he enunciated at last…. “I don’t go in for buying estates; I’ve no capital. Pass the butter. Perhaps my wife now would buy it. You talk to her about it. If you don’t ask too much, she’s not above thinking of that…. What asses these Germans are, really! They can’t cook fish. What could be simpler, one wonders? And yet they go on about ‘uniting the Fatherland.’ Waiter, take away that beastly stuff!”
“Oh,” he finally said…. “I’m not into buying estates; I don’t have the money. Pass the butter. Maybe my wife would buy it now. You should talk to her about it. If the price isn’t too high, she might actually consider it…. What fools these Germans are, really! They can’t cook fish. What could be easier, you wonder? And yet they keep talking about ‘uniting the Fatherland.’ Waiter, take away that awful food!”
“Does your wife really manage … business matters herself?” Sanin inquired.
“Does your wife really handle the business matters herself?” Sanin asked.
“Yes. Try the cutlets—they’re good. I can recommend them. I’ve told you already, Dimitri Pavlovitch, I don’t interfere in any of my wife’s concerns, and I tell you so again.”
“Yes. Give the cutlets a try—they're really good. I can definitely recommend them. I've already told you, Dimitri Pavlovitch, I don’t get involved in any of my wife's matters, and I’m saying it again.”
Polozov went on munching.
Polozov kept munching.
“H’m…. But how can I have a talk with her, Ippolit Sidorovitch?”
“Hm... But how can I have a conversation with her, Ippolit Sidorovitch?”
“It’s very simple, Dimitri Pavlovitch. Go to Wiesbaden. It’s not far from here. Waiter, haven’t you any English mustard? No? Brutes! Only don’t lose any time. We’re starting the day after to-morrow. Let me pour you out a glass of wine; it’s wine with a bouquet—no vinegary stuff.”
“It’s really easy, Dimitri Pavlovitch. Go to Wiesbaden. It’s not far from here. Waiter, do you have any English mustard? No? Unbelievable! Just don’t waste any time. We’re leaving the day after tomorrow. Let me pour you a glass of wine; it’s good wine with a nice aroma—nothing vinegary.”
Polozov’s face was flushed and animated; it was never animated but when he was eating—or drinking.
Polozov's face was flushed and lively; it was only ever lively when he was eating—or drinking.
“Really, I don’t know, how that could be managed,” Sanin muttered.
“Honestly, I have no idea how that could be handled,” Sanin muttered.
“But what makes you in such a hurry about it all of a sudden?”
“But what’s got you in such a rush all of a sudden?”
“There is a reason for being in a hurry, brother.”
“There’s a reason to be in a hurry, brother.”
“And do you need a lot of money?”
“And do you need a lot of money?”
“Yes, a lot. I … how can I tell you? I propose … getting married.”
“Yes, a lot. I … how can I say this? I want to … get married.”
Polozov set the glass he had been lifting to his lips on the table.
Polozov put the glass he had been raising to his lips down on the table.
“Getting married!” he articulated in a voice thick with astonishment, and he folded his podgy hands on his stomach. “So suddenly?”
“Getting married!” he said, his voice filled with surprise, and he placed his chubby hands on his stomach. “So suddenly?”
“Yes … soon.”
“Yes… coming soon.”
“Your intended is in Russia, of course?”
“Your fiancé is in Russia, right?”
“No, not in Russia.”
“No, not in Russia.”
“Where then?”
"Where to next?"
“Here in Frankfort.”
“Here in Frankfurt.”
“And who is she?”
“Who is she?”
“A German; that is, no—an Italian. A resident here.”
“A German; wait, no—an Italian. Someone living here.”
“With a fortune?”
"With a fortune?"
“No, without a fortune.”
“No, no money at all.”
“Then I suppose your love is very ardent?”
“Then I guess your love is really passionate?”
“How absurd you are! Yes, very ardent.”
“How ridiculous you are! Yes, very passionate.”
“And it’s for that you must have money?”
“And is that why you need money?”
“Well, yes … yes, yes.”
"Well, yeah ... yeah, yeah."
Polozov gulped down his wine, rinsed his mouth, and washed his hands, carefully wiped them on the napkin, took out and lighted a cigar. Sanin watched him in silence.
Polozov drank his wine, rinsed his mouth, and washed his hands, then dried them with a napkin and lit a cigar. Sanin watched him silently.
“There’s one means,” Polozov grunted at last, throwing his head back, and blowing out the smoke in a thin ring. “Go to my wife. If she likes, she can take all the bother off your hands.”
“There’s one way,” Polozov finally said, leaning back and blowing out the smoke in a thin ring. “Talk to my wife. If she’s willing, she can take care of everything for you.”
“But how can I see your wife? You say you are starting the day after to-morrow?”
“But how can I see your wife? You say you're starting the day after tomorrow?”
Polozov closed his eyes.
Polozov shut his eyes.
“I’ll tell you what,” he said at last, rolling the cigar in his lips, and sighing. “Go home, get ready as quick as you can, and come here. At one o’clock I am going, there’s plenty of room in my carriage. I’ll take you with me. That’s the best plan. And now I’m going to have a nap. I must always have a nap, brother, after a meal. Nature demands it, and I won’t go against it. And don’t you disturb me.”
“I’ll tell you what,” he finally said, rolling the cigar in his mouth and sighing. “Go home, get ready as fast as you can, and come back here. I’m leaving at one o’clock, and there’s plenty of room in my carriage. I’ll take you with me. That’s the best plan. And now I’m going to take a nap. I always need to nap after a meal, brother. It’s just how it is, and I won’t fight it. And don’t you disturb me.”
Sanin thought and thought, and suddenly raised his head; he had made up his mind.
Sanin thought and thought, then suddenly looked up; he had made his decision.
“Very well, agreed, and thank you. At half-past twelve I’ll be here, and we’ll go together to Wiesbaden. I hope your wife won’t be angry….”
“Alright, it’s a deal, and thanks. I'll be here at 12:30, and we’ll head to Wiesbaden together. I hope your wife won’t be upset….”
But Polozov was already snoring. He muttered, “Don’t disturb me!” gave a kick, and fell asleep, like a baby.
But Polozov was already snoring. He mumbled, “Don’t bother me!” kicked a little, and fell asleep like a baby.
Sanin once more scanned his clumsy figure, his head, his neck, his upturned chin, round as an apple, and going out of the hotel, set off with rapid strides to the Rosellis’ shop. He had to let Gemma know.
Sanin took another look at his awkward appearance, his head, his neck, his chin tilted upwards, round like an apple, and after leaving the hotel, he quickly walked to the Rosellis' shop. He needed to inform Gemma.
XXXII
He found her in the shop with her mother. Frau Lenore was stooping down, measuring with a big folding foot-rule the space between the windows. On seeing Sanin, she stood up, and greeted him cheerfully, though with a shade of embarrassment.
He found her in the shop with her mom. Mrs. Lenore was bent over, using a big folding ruler to measure the space between the windows. When she saw Sanin, she straightened up and greeted him warmly, though with a hint of embarrassment.
“What you said yesterday,” she began, “has set my head in a whirl with ideas as to how we could improve our shop. Here, I fancy we might put a couple of cupboards with shelves of looking-glass. You know, that’s the fashion nowadays. And then …”
“What you said yesterday,” she started, “has got my mind racing with ideas about how we could improve our shop. I think we could add a couple of cupboards with mirrored shelves. You know, that's the trend these days. And then …”
“Excellent, excellent,” Sanin broke in, “we must think it all over…. But come here, I want to tell you something.” He took Frau Lenore and Gemma by the arm, and led them into the next room. Frau Lenore was alarmed, and the foot-rule slipped out of her hands. Gemma too was almost frightened, but she took an intent look at Sanin, and was reassured. His face, though preoccupied, expressed at the same time keen self-confidence and determination. He asked both the women to sit down, while he remained standing before them, and gesticulating with his hands and ruffling up his hair, he told them all his story; his meeting with Polozov, his proposed expedition to Wiesbaden, the chance of selling the estate. “Imagine my happiness,” he cried in conclusion: “things have taken such a turn that I may even, perhaps, not have to go to Russia! And we can have our wedding much sooner than I had anticipated!”
“Fantastic, fantastic,” Sanin interjected, “we need to think this through… But come over here, I want to share something with you.” He took Frau Lenore and Gemma by the arm and led them into the next room. Frau Lenore looked worried, and the measuring stick slipped out of her hands. Gemma was also a bit scared, but she focused on Sanin and felt reassured. His face, while concerned, also showed strong self-confidence and determination. He asked both women to sit down while he stayed standing in front of them, gesturing with his hands and running his fingers through his hair as he shared his entire story: his encounter with Polozov, his planned trip to Wiesbaden, the possibility of selling the estate. “Just imagine how happy I am,” he exclaimed at the end: “things have changed so much that I might even, hopefully, not have to go to Russia! And we can have our wedding a lot sooner than I expected!”
“When must you go?” asked Gemma.
“When do you have to leave?” asked Gemma.
“To-day, in an hour’s time; my friend has ordered a carriage—he will take me.”
“Today, in an hour; my friend has ordered a carriage—he's going to take me.”
“You will write to us?”
"Are you going to write to us?"
“At once! directly I have had a talk with this lady, I will write.”
“Right away! As soon as I’ve talked to this lady, I’ll write.”
“This lady, you say, is very rich?” queried the practical Frau Lenore.
“This woman, you say, is really wealthy?” asked the practical Frau Lenore.
“Exceedingly rich! her father was a millionaire, and he left everything to her.”
“Super wealthy! Her dad was a millionaire, and he left her everything.”
“Everything—to her alone? Well, that’s so much the better for you. Only mind, don’t let your property go too cheap! Be sensible and firm. Don’t let yourself be carried away! I understand your wishing to be Gemma’s husband as soon as possible … but prudence before everything! Don’t forget: the better price you get for your estate, the more there will be for you two, and for your children.”
“Everything—for her alone? Well, that’s great for you. Just make sure you don’t sell your property for too little! Be smart and stand your ground. Don’t get swept away! I get that you want to be Gemma’s husband as soon as you can… but think carefully above all! Remember: the higher price you get for your estate, the more there will be for both of you, and for your kids.”
Gemma turned away, and Sanin gave another wave of his hand. “You can rely on my prudence, Frau Lenore! Indeed, I shan’t do any bargaining with her. I shall tell her the fair price; if she’ll give it—good; if not, let her go.”
Gemma turned away, and Sanin waved his hand again. “You can count on my good judgment, Frau Lenore! Honestly, I won’t haggle with her. I’ll tell her the fair price; if she agrees—great; if not, let her go.”
“Do you know her—this lady?” asked Gemma.
“Do you know her—this woman?” asked Gemma.
“I have never seen her.”
"I've never seen her."
“And when will you come back?”
“And when will you come back?”
“If our negotiations come to nothing—the day after to-morrow; if they turn out favourably, perhaps I may have to stay a day or two longer. In any case I shall not linger a minute beyond what’s necessary. I am leaving my heart here, you know! But I have said what I had to say to you, and I must run home before setting off too…. Give me your hand for luck, Frau Lenore—that’s what we always do in Russia.”
“If our negotiations don’t lead anywhere—the day after tomorrow; if they go well, I might have to stay a day or two longer. In any case, I won’t stick around a minute longer than necessary. I’m leaving my heart here, you know! But I’ve said what I needed to say to you, and I have to get home before I leave too…. Give me your hand for good luck, Frau Lenore—that’s what we always do in Russia.”
“The right or the left?”
"Left or right?"
“The left, it’s nearer the heart. I shall reappear the day after to-morrow with my shield or on it! Something tells me I shall come back in triumph! Good-bye, my good dear ones….”
“The left, it's closer to the heart. I’ll be back the day after tomorrow with my shield or on it! Something tells me I’ll return in triumph! Goodbye, my dear ones….”
He embraced and kissed Frau Lenore, but he asked Gemma to follow him into her room—for just a minute—as he must tell her something of great importance. He simply wanted to say good-bye to her alone. Frau Lenore saw that, and felt no curiosity as to the matter of such great importance.
He hugged and kissed Frau Lenore, but he asked Gemma to come with him into her room—for just a minute—because he needed to tell her something really important. He just wanted to say goodbye to her in private. Frau Lenore noticed this and was not curious about the important matter.
Sanin had never been in Gemma’s room before. All the magic of love, all its fire and rapture and sweet terror, seemed to flame up and burst into his soul, directly he crossed its sacred threshold…. He cast a look of tenderness about him, fell at the sweet girl’s feet and pressed his face against her waist….
Sanin had never been in Gemma’s room before. All the magic of love, all its intensity, excitement, and sweet fear, seemed to ignite and explode in his soul as soon as he crossed its sacred threshold…. He glanced around with tenderness, fell at the sweet girl's feet, and pressed his face against her waist….
“You are mine,” she whispered: “you will be back soon?”
“You're mine,” she whispered. “You'll be back soon?”
“I am yours. I will come back,” he declared, catching his breath.
“I’m yours. I’ll be back,” he said, catching his breath.
“I shall be longing for you back, my dear one!”
“I'll be missing you, my dear!”
A few instants later Sanin was running along the street to his lodging. He did not even notice that Pantaleone, all dishevelled, had darted out of the shop-door after him, and was shouting something to him and was shaking, as though in menace, his lifted hand.
A few moments later, Sanin was running down the street to his place. He didn’t even notice that Pantaleone, looking all messy, had rushed out of the shop after him, shouting something and shaking his raised hand like it was a threat.
Exactly at a quarter to one Sanin presented himself before Polozov. The carriage with four horses was already standing at the hotel gates. On seeing Sanin, Polozov merely commented, “Oh! you’ve made up your mind?” and putting on his hat, cloak, and over-shoes, and stuffing cotton-wool into his ears, though it was summer-time, went out on to the steps. The waiters, by his directions, disposed all his numerous purchases in the inside of the carriage, lined the place where he was to sit with silk cushions, bags, and bundles, put a hamper of provisions for his feet to rest on, and tied a trunk on to the box. Polozov paid with a liberal hand, and supported by the deferential door-keeper, whose face was still respectful, though he was unseen behind him, he climbed gasping into the carriage, sat down, disarranged everything about him thoroughly, took out and lighted a cigar, and only then extended a finger to Sanin, as though to say, “Get in, you too!” Sanin placed himself beside him. Polozov sent orders by the door-keeper to the postillion to drive carefully—if he wanted drinks; the carriage steps grated, the doors slammed, and the carriage rolled off.
Exactly at a quarter to one, Sanin showed up in front of Polozov. The carriage with four horses was already waiting at the hotel gates. When he saw Sanin, Polozov simply remarked, “Oh! You’ve made up your mind?” He then put on his hat, cloak, and overshoes, and stuffed cotton wool into his ears, even though it was summer, before stepping out onto the porch. The waiters, following his instructions, arranged all his many purchases inside the carriage, lined the spot where he would sit with silk cushions, bags, and bundles, placed a hamper of food for his feet to rest on, and secured a trunk on the box. Polozov paid generously and, supported by the respectful doorman—whose face remained courteous even though he was out of sight—climbed, gasping, into the carriage, settled himself, thoroughly messed everything up around him, took out and lit a cigar, and only then extended a finger to Sanin, as if to say, “You get in too!” Sanin took a seat next to him. Polozov instructed the doorman to tell the postillion to drive carefully—if he wanted drinks; the carriage steps creaked, the doors slammed, and they rolled away.
XXXIII
It takes less than an hour in these days by rail from Frankfort to Wiesbaden; at that time the extra post did it in three hours. They changed horses five times. Part of the time Polozov dozed and part of the time he simply shook from side to side, holding a cigar in his teeth; he talked very little; he did not once look out of the window; picturesque views did not interest them; he even announced that “nature was the death of him!” Sanin did not speak either, nor did he admire the scenery; he had no thought for it. He was all absorbed in reflections and memories. At the stations Polozov paid with exactness, took the time by his watch, and tipped the postillions—more or less—according to their zeal. When they had gone half way, he took two oranges out of the hamper of edibles, and choosing out the better, offered the other to Sanin. Sanin looked steadily at his companion, and suddenly burst out laughing.
It takes less than an hour these days by train from Frankfurt to Wiesbaden; back then, the extra carriage took three hours. They changed horses five times. At times, Polozov dozed off, and at other times, he just shook from side to side, holding a cigar between his teeth; he talked very little and didn't once look out the window; the scenic views didn't interest him at all; he even claimed that “nature was killing him!” Sanin didn't talk either, nor did he admire the scenery; he wasn't thinking about it. He was completely absorbed in his thoughts and memories. At the stations, Polozov paid precisely, checked the time on his watch, and tipped the drivers—more or less—based on how eager they were. When they were halfway there, he took two oranges out of the food basket, picked the better one, and offered the other to Sanin. Sanin stared at his companion and suddenly burst out laughing.
“What are you laughing at?” the latter inquired, very carefully peeling his orange with his short white nails.
“What are you laughing at?” the other asked, carefully peeling his orange with his short white nails.
“What at?” repeated Sanin. “Why, at our journey together.”
“What for?” repeated Sanin. “Well, for our trip together.”
“What about it?” Polozov inquired again, dropping into his mouth one of the longitudinal sections into which an orange parts.
“What’s up?” Polozov asked again, popping a segment of orange into his mouth.
“It’s so very strange. Yesterday I must confess I thought no more of you than of the Emperor of China, and to-day I’m driving with you to sell my estate to your wife, of whom, too, I have not the slightest idea.”
“It’s really odd. Yesterday, I have to admit, I didn’t think about you any more than I’d think about the Emperor of China, and today I’m driving with you to sell my property to your wife, who I also know nothing about.”
“Anything may happen,” responded Polozov. “When you’ve lived a bit longer, you won’t be surprised at anything. For instance, can you fancy me riding as an orderly officer? But I did, and the Grand Duke Mihail Pavlovitch gave the order, “Trot! let him trot, that fat cornet! Trot now! Look sharp!”
“Anything can happen,” Polozov replied. “Once you’ve lived a little longer, you won’t be shocked by anything. For example, can you picture me riding as an orderly officer? But I did, and Grand Duke Mihail Pavlovitch shouted, ‘Trot! Let that fat cornet trot! Trot now! Move it!’”
Sanin scratched behind his ear.
Sanin scratched his ear.
“Tell me, please, Ippolit Sidorovitch, what is your wife like? What is her character? It’s very necessary for me to know that, you see.”
“Please tell me, Ippolit Sidorovitch, what is your wife like? What’s her personality? It’s really important for me to know that, you know.”
“It was very well for him to shout, ‘Trot!’” Polozov went on with sudden vehemence, “But me! how about me? I thought to myself, ‘You can take your honours and epaulettes—and leave me in peace!’ But … you asked about my wife? What my wife is? A person like any one else. Don’t wear your heart upon your sleeve with her—she doesn’t like that. The great thing is to talk a lot to her … something for her to laugh at. Tell her about your love, or something … but make it more amusing, you know.”
“It was all well and good for him to shout, ‘Trot!’” Polozov continued with sudden intensity, “But what about me? I thought to myself, ‘You can keep your honors and rank—and leave me alone!’ But… you were asking about my wife? What is my wife like? She’s just a person like anyone else. Don’t be too open with her—she doesn’t appreciate that. The key is to talk a lot to her… something that makes her laugh. Tell her about your love or something… but make it more entertaining, you know.”
“How more amusing?”
“How is this funnier?”
“Oh, you told me, you know, that you were in love, wanting to get married. Well, then, describe that.”
“Oh, you told me that you were in love and wanted to get married. So, go ahead and describe it.”
Sanin was offended. “What do you find laughable in that?”
Sanin felt insulted. “What do you think is funny about that?”
Polozov only rolled his eyes. The juice from the orange was trickling down his chin.
Polozov just rolled his eyes. The juice from the orange was running down his chin.
“Was it your wife sent you to Frankfort to shop for her?” asked Sanin after a short time.
“Did your wife send you to Frankfurt to shop for her?” Sanin asked after a moment.
“Yes, it was she.”
“Yes, it was her.”
“What are the purchases?”
"What are the buys?"
“Toys, of course.”
“Toys, obviously.”
“Toys? have you any children?”
“Toys? Do you have kids?”
Polozov positively moved away from Sanin.
Polozov definitely stepped away from Sanin.
“That’s likely! What do I want with children? Feminine fallals … finery. For the toilet.”
“Sure! What would I want with kids? Fancy outfits… luxury. For the bathroom.”
“Do you mean to say you understand such things?”
“Are you saying you understand that stuff?”
“To be sure I do.”
“Absolutely, I do.”
“But didn’t you tell me you didn’t interfere in any of your wife’s affairs?”
“But didn’t you say you didn’t get involved in any of your wife’s business?”
“I don’t in any other. But this … is no consequence. To pass the time—one may do it. And my wife has confidence in my taste. And I’m a first-rate hand at bargaining.”
“I don’t in any other way. But this … doesn’t matter. To kill time—anyone can do it. And my wife trusts my judgment. And I’m really good at negotiating.”
Polozov began to speak by jerks; he was exhausted already. “And is your wife very rich?”
Polozov started talking in stutters; he was already worn out. “Is your wife very wealthy?”
“Rich; yes, rather! Only she keeps the most of it for herself.”
“Rich? Absolutely! But she keeps the majority of it for herself.”
“But I expect you can’t complain either?”
“But I guess you can’t complain either?”
“Well, I’m her husband. I’m hardly likely not to get some benefit from it! And I’m of use to her. With me she can do just as she likes! I’m easy-going!”
“Well, I’m her husband. There’s no way I won’t benefit from it! And I’m helpful to her. With me, she can do whatever she wants! I’m laid-back!”
Polozov wiped his face with a silk handkerchief and puffed painfully, as though to say, “Have mercy on me; don’t force me to utter another word. You see how hard it is for me.”
Polozov wiped his face with a silk handkerchief and sighed heavily, as if to say, “Have mercy on me; don’t make me say another word. You see how difficult this is for me.”
Sanin left him in peace, and again sank into meditation.
Sanin left him alone and went back to meditating.
The hotel in Wiesbaden, before which the carriage stopped, was exactly like a palace. Bells were promptly set ringing in its inmost recesses; a fuss and bustle arose; men of good appearance in black frock-coats skipped out at the principal entrance; a door-keeper who was a blaze of gold opened the carriage doors with a flourish.
The hotel in Wiesbaden, where the carriage stopped, looked just like a palace. Bells started ringing all over inside; there was a flurry of activity; well-dressed men in black coats rushed out through the main entrance; a doorman, shining in gold, opened the carriage doors with a flourish.
Like some triumphant general Polozov alighted and began to ascend a staircase strewn with rugs and smelling of agreeable perfumes. To him flew up another man, also very well dressed but with a Russian face—his valet. Polozov observed to him that for the future he should always take him everywhere with him, for the night before at Frankfort, he, Polozov, had been left for the night without hot water! The valet portrayed his horror on his face, and bending down quickly, took off his master’s goloshes.
Like a victorious general, Polozov stepped down and started up a staircase covered in rugs and filled with pleasant scents. Another well-dressed man with a Russian look—his valet—hurryingly approached him. Polozov told him that from now on he should always accompany him everywhere because the night before in Frankfurt, he had been left without hot water! The valet showed his shock on his face, quickly bent down, and took off his master's galoshes.
“Is Maria Nikolaevna at home?” inquired Polozov.
“Is Maria Nikolaevna home?” Polozov asked.
“Yes, sir. Madam is pleased to be dressing. Madam is pleased to be dining to-night at the Countess Lasunsky’s.”
“Yes, sir. The lady is happy to be getting dressed. The lady is happy to be dining tonight at Countess Lasunsky’s.”
“Ah! there?… Stay! There are things there in the carriage; get them all yourself and bring them up. And you, Dmitri Pavlovitch,” added Polozov, “take a room for yourself and come in in three-quarters of an hour. We will dine together.”
“Ah! Over there?… Wait! There are things in the carriage; get them all yourself and bring them up. And you, Dmitri Pavlovitch,” added Polozov, “take a room for yourself and come in about forty-five minutes. We’ll have dinner together.”
Polozov waddled off, while Sanin asked for an inexpensive room for himself; and after setting his attire to rights, and resting a little, he repaired to the immense apartment occupied by his Serenity (Durchlaucht) Prince von Polozov.
Polozov waddled away, while Sanin asked for a cheap room for himself; and after adjusting his clothes and resting for a bit, he went to the huge room occupied by his Serenity (Durchlaucht) Prince von Polozov.
He found this “prince” enthroned in a luxurious velvet arm-chair in the middle of a most magnificent drawing-room. Sanin’s phlegmatic friend had already had time to have a bath and to array himself in a most sumptuous satin dressing-gown; he had put a crimson fez on his head. Sanin approached him and scrutinised him for some time. Polozov was sitting rigid as an idol; he did not even turn his face in his direction, did not even move an eyebrow, did not utter a sound. It was truly a sublime spectacle! After having admired him for a couple of minutes, Sanin was on the point of speaking, of breaking this hallowed silence, when suddenly the door from the next room was thrown open, and in the doorway appeared a young and beautiful lady in a white silk dress trimmed with black lace, and with diamonds on her arms and neck—Maria Nikolaevna Polozov. Her thick fair hair fell on both sides of her head, braided, but not fastened up into a knot.
He found this “prince” sitting in a luxurious velvet armchair in the middle of a stunning drawing room. Sanin’s calm friend had already taken a bath and dressed in an extravagant satin bathrobe; he had placed a crimson fez on his head. Sanin approached him and studied him for a while. Polozov was sitting still as a statue; he didn’t even turn his face toward Sanin, didn’t move an eyebrow, and didn’t make a sound. It was truly a magnificent sight! After admiring him for a couple of minutes, Sanin was about to speak, about to break this sacred silence, when suddenly the door from the next room swung open, and in the doorway appeared a young and beautiful lady in a white silk dress trimmed with black lace, adorned with diamonds on her arms and neck—Maria Nikolaevna Polozov. Her thick blonde hair fell on both sides of her head, braided but not pinned up.
XXXIV
“Ah, I beg your pardon!” she said with a smile half-embarrassed, half-ironical, instantly taking hold of one end of a plait of her hair and fastening on Sanin her large, grey, clear eyes.
“Ah, I’m sorry!” she said with a smile that was half-embarrassed, half-ironic, immediately grabbing one end of a braid of her hair and locking her large, grey, expressive eyes onto Sanin.
“I did not think you had come yet.”
“I didn’t think you were here yet.”
“Sanin, Dmitri Pavlovitch—known him from a boy,” observed Polozov, as before not turning towards him and not getting up, but pointing at him with one finger.
“Sanin, Dmitri Pavlovitch—I’ve known him since he was a kid,” commented Polozov, still not turning to face him or getting up, but pointing at him with one finger.
“Yes…. I know…. You told me before. Very glad to make your acquaintance. But I wanted to ask you, Ippolit Sidorovitch…. My maid seems to have lost her senses to-day …”
“Yes…. I know…. You mentioned that before. It’s great to meet you. But I wanted to ask you, Ippolit Sidorovitch…. My maid seems to have lost her mind today …”
“To do your hair up?”
"Are you styling your hair?"
“Yes, yes, please. I beg your pardon,” Maria Nikolaevna repeated with the same smile. She nodded to Sanin, and turning swiftly, vanished through the doorway, leaving behind her a fleeting but graceful impression of a charming neck, exquisite shoulders, an exquisite figure.
“Yes, yes, please. I’m so sorry,” Maria Nikolaevna repeated with the same smile. She nodded at Sanin and turned quickly, disappearing through the doorway, leaving behind a brief but lovely impression of a beautiful neck, stunning shoulders, and a lovely figure.
Polozov got up, and rolling ponderously, went out by the same door.
Polozov stood up and, moving slowly, stepped out through the same door.
Sanin did not doubt for a single second that his presence in “Prince Polozov’s” drawing-room was a fact perfectly well known to its mistress; the whole point of her entry had been the display of her hair, which was certainly beautiful. Sanin was inwardly delighted indeed at this freak on the part of Madame Polozov; if, he thought, she is anxious to impress me, to dazzle me, perhaps, who knows, she will be accommodating about the price of the estate. His heart was so full of Gemma that all other women had absolutely no significance for him; he hardly noticed them; and this time he went no further than thinking, “Yes, it was the truth they told me; that lady’s really magnificent to look at!”
Sanin didn't doubt for a second that the lady of the house was well aware of his presence in “Prince Polozov’s” drawing-room; her entrance was clearly meant to show off her beautiful hair. Sanin felt a thrill at this little display from Madame Polozov; he thought, if she’s trying to impress me, maybe she’ll be flexible on the price of the estate. His heart was so consumed with thoughts of Gemma that other women held no appeal for him; he barely noticed them. This time, he only thought, “Yeah, what they said is true; that woman is stunning!”
But had he not been in such an exceptional state of mind he would most likely have expressed himself differently; Maria Nikolaevna Polozov, by birth Kolishkin, was a very striking personality. And not that she was of a beauty to which no exception could be taken; traces of her plebeian origin were rather clearly apparent in her. Her forehead was low, her nose rather fleshy and turned up; she could boast neither of the delicacy of her skin nor of the elegance of her hands and feet—but what did all that matter? Any one meeting her would not, to use Pushkin’s words, have stood still before “the holy shrine of beauty,” but before the sorcery of a half-Russian, half-Gipsy woman’s body in its full flower and full power … and he would have been nothing loath to stand still!
But if he hadn't been in such an exceptional state of mind, he would probably have expressed himself differently; Maria Nikolaevna Polozov, born Kolishkin, had a very striking personality. It’s not that she was a flawless beauty; her plebeian roots were clearly visible. Her forehead was low, her nose was a bit fleshy and turned up; she couldn't claim delicate skin or elegant hands and feet—but what did any of that matter? Anyone meeting her wouldn't, to use Pushkin’s words, have paused before “the holy shrine of beauty,” but rather in front of the allure of a half-Russian, half-Gypsy woman's body in its full bloom and power … and he would have been more than willing to pause!
But Gemma’s image preserved Sanin like the three-fold armour of which the poets sing.
But Gemma’s image kept Sanin safe like the three-fold armor that poets sing about.
Ten minutes later Maria Nikolaevna appeared again, escorted by her husband. She went up to Sanin … and her walk was such that some eccentrics of that—alas!—already, distant day, were simply crazy over her walk alone. “That woman, when she comes towards one, seems as though she is bringing all the happiness of one’s life to meet one,” one of them used to say. She went up to Sanin, and holding out her hand to him, said in her caressing and, as it were, subdued voice in Russian, “You will wait for me, won’t you? I’ll be back soon.”
Ten minutes later, Maria Nikolaevna came back, accompanied by her husband. She walked over to Sanin, and her walk was such that some oddballs from that—sadly!—already distant time were completely captivated by it. “When that woman approaches, it feels like she’s bringing all the happiness of your life along with her,” one of them would say. She approached Sanin, and holding out her hand to him, said in her gentle and somewhat soft voice in Russian, “You will wait for me, won’t you? I’ll be back soon.”
Sanin bowed respectfully, while Maria Nikolaevna vanished behind the curtain over the outside door; and as she vanished turned her head back over her shoulder, and smiled again, and again left behind her the same impression of grace.
Sanin bowed politely, while Maria Nikolaevna disappeared behind the curtain by the outside door; as she left, she looked back over her shoulder and smiled again, leaving behind the same impression of grace.
When she smiled, not one and not two, but three dimples came out on each cheek, and her eyes smiled more than her lips—long, crimson, juicy lips with two tiny moles on the left side of them.
When she smiled, not just one or two, but three dimples appeared on each cheek, and her eyes smiled more than her lips—long, red, full lips with two small moles on the left side.
Polozov waddled into the room and again established himself in the arm-chair. He was speechless as before; but from time to time a queer smile puffed out his colourless and already wrinkled cheeks. He looked like an old man, though he was only three years older than Sanin.
Polozov waddled into the room and settled back into the armchair. He was just as speechless as before, but occasionally a strange smile puffed out his pale, already wrinkled cheeks. He looked like an old man, even though he was only three years older than Sanin.
The dinner with which he regaled his guest would of course have satisfied the most exacting gourmand, but to Sanin it seemed endless, insupportable! Polozov ate slowly, “with feeling, with judgment, with deliberation,” bending attentively over his plate, and sniffing at almost every morsel. First he rinsed his mouth with wine, then swallowed it and smacked his lips…. Over the roast meat he suddenly began to talk—but of what? Of merino sheep, of which he was intending to order a whole flock, and in such detail, with such tenderness, using all the while endearing pet names for them. After drinking a cup of coffee, hot to boiling point (he had several times in a voice of tearful irritation mentioned to the waiter that he had been served the evening before with coffee, cold—cold as ice!) and bitten off the end of a Havannah cigar with his crooked yellow teeth, he dropped off, as his habit was, into a nap, to the intense delight of Sanin, who began walking up and down with noiseless steps on the soft carpet, and dreaming of his life with Gemma and of what news he would bring back to her. Polozov, however, awoke, as he remarked himself, earlier than usual—he had slept only an hour and a half—and after drinking a glass of iced seltzer water, and swallowing eight spoonfuls of jam, Russian jam, which his valet brought him in a dark-green genuine “Kiev” jar, and without which, in his own words, he could not live, he stared with his swollen eyes at Sanin and asked him wouldn’t he like to play a game of “fools” with him. Sanin agreed readily; he was afraid that Polozov would begin talking again about lambs and ewes and fat tails. The host and the visitor both adjourned to the drawing-room, the waiter brought in the cards, and the game began, not,—of course, for money.
The dinner he hosted for his guest would have pleased even the pickiest foodie, but to Sanin, it felt endless and unbearable! Polozov ate slowly, “with feeling, with judgment, with deliberation,” leaning over his plate attentively and sniffing almost every bite. First, he rinsed his mouth with wine, swallowed it, and smacked his lips…. Suddenly, over the roast meat, he started talking—but about what? About merino sheep, which he planned to order a whole flock of, and he did so in such detail, with such affection, using all sorts of cute nicknames for them. After having a cup of boiling-hot coffee (he had mentioned to the waiter several times, with a tearful irritation, that he had been served coffee the night before that was cold—cold as ice!), and after chomping down the end of a Havana cigar with his crooked yellow teeth, he fell asleep, as usual, much to Sanin's delight, who began to walk quietly back and forth on the soft carpet, dreaming of his life with Gemma and what news he would bring her. However, Polozov woke up, as he pointed out, earlier than usual—he had only slept for an hour and a half—and after drinking a glass of iced seltzer and downing eight spoonfuls of Russian jam, which his valet brought him in a genuine “Kiev” jar of dark green, without which, in his own words, he couldn’t live, he stared at Sanin with his swollen eyes and asked if he wanted to play a game of “fools” with him. Sanin readily agreed; he was worried Polozov would start talking again about lambs and ewes and fat tails. The host and the guest moved to the drawing room, the waiter brought in the cards, and the game began, of course, not for money.
At this innocent diversion Maria Nikolaevna found them on her return from the Countess Lasunsky’s. She laughed aloud directly she came into the room and saw the cards and the open card-table. Sanin jumped up, but she cried, “Sit still; go on with the game. I’ll change my dress directly and come back to you,” and vanished again with a swish of her dress, pulling off her gloves as she went.
At this playful distraction, Maria Nikolaevna stumbled upon them when she returned from the Countess Lasunsky’s. She burst into laughter as soon as she entered the room and spotted the cards and the open card table. Sanin jumped up, but she said, “Stay put; keep playing. I’ll change my dress right away and be back,” and then she disappeared once more, her dress swishing as she went, pulling off her gloves.
She did in fact return very soon. Her evening dress she had exchanged for a full lilac silk tea-gown, with open hanging sleeves; a thick twisted cord was fastened round her waist. She sat down by her husband, and, waiting till he was left “fool,” said to him, “Come, dumpling, that’s enough!” (At the word “dumpling” Sanin glanced at her in surprise, and she smiled gaily, answering his look with a look, and displaying all the dimples on her cheeks.) “I see you are sleepy; kiss my hand and get along; and Monsieur Sanin and I will have a chat together alone.”
She really did come back quickly. She had changed out of her evening dress into a full lilac silk tea gown with open hanging sleeves; a thick twisted cord was tied around her waist. She sat down next to her husband and, waiting until he was distracted, said to him, “Come on, dumpling, that’s enough!” (At the word “dumpling,” Sanin looked at her in surprise, and she smiled brightly, matching his gaze and showing off the dimples in her cheeks.) “I can see you’re sleepy; kiss my hand and head on out; Monsieur Sanin and I will have a chat together alone.”
“I’m not sleepy,” observed Polozov, getting up ponderously from his easy-chair; “but as for getting along, I’m ready to get along and to kiss your hand.” She gave him the palm of her hand, still smiling and looking at Sanin.
“I’m not tired,” Polozov said, slowly getting up from his armchair; “but I’m ready to go along and kiss your hand.” She held out her palm, still smiling and looking at Sanin.
Polozov, too, looked at him, and went away without taking leave of him.
Polozov also looked at him and then left without saying goodbye.
“Well, tell me, tell me,” said Maria Nikolaevna eagerly, setting both her bare elbows on the table and impatiently tapping the nails of one hand against the nails of the other, “Is it true, they say, you are going to be married?”
“Well, tell me, tell me,” said Maria Nikolaevna eagerly, resting both her bare elbows on the table and tapping her nails together impatiently. “Is it true what they say, that you’re getting married?”
As she said these words, Maria Nikolaevna positively bent her head a little on one side so as to look more intently and piercingly into Sanin’s eyes.
As she said this, Maria Nikolaevna tilted her head slightly to one side to look more intently and piercingly into Sanin’s eyes.
XXXV
The free and easy deportment of Madame Polozov would probably for the first moment have disconcerted Sanin—though he was not quite a novice and had knocked about the world a little—if he had not again seen in this very freedom and familiarity a good omen for his undertaking. “We must humour this rich lady’s caprices,” he decided inwardly; and as unconstrainedly as she had questioned him he answered, “Yes; I am going to be married.”
The relaxed and carefree attitude of Madame Polozov would likely have thrown Sanin off at first—though he wasn't completely inexperienced and had traveled a bit—if he hadn't interpreted her openness and friendliness as a positive sign for his plans. “I need to go along with this wealthy lady's whims,” he thought to himself; and just as casually as she had asked him, he replied, “Yes; I'm getting married.”
“To whom? To a foreigner?”
“To who? To a foreigner?”
“Yes.”
“Yep.”
“Did you get acquainted with her lately? In Frankfort?”
“Did you meet her recently? In Frankfurt?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“And what is she? May I know?”
“And who is she? Can I find out?”
“Certainly. She is a confectioner’s daughter.”
“Of course. She's the daughter of a pastry chef.”
Maria Nikolaevna opened her eyes wide and lifted her eyebrows.
Maria Nikolaevna widened her eyes and raised her eyebrows.
“Why, this is delightful,” she commented in a drawling voice; “this is exquisite! I imagined that young men like you were not to be met with anywhere in these days. A confectioner’s daughter!”
“Wow, this is lovely,” she said in a slow, smooth voice; “this is amazing! I thought guys like you were a rarity these days. A candy maker’s daughter!”
“I see that surprises you,” observed Sanin with some dignity; “but in the first place, I have none of these prejudices …”
“I see that surprises you,” Sanin noted with some dignity; “but first of all, I don’t have any of these prejudices…”
“In the first place, it doesn’t surprise me in the least,” Maria Nikolaevna interrupted; “I have no prejudices either. I’m the daughter of a peasant myself. There! what can you say to that? What does surprise and delight me is to have come across a man who’s not afraid to love. You do love her, I suppose?”
“In the first place, it doesn’t surprise me at all,” Maria Nikolaevna interrupted; “I have no biases either. I’m the daughter of a peasant myself. There! What can you say to that? What surprises and delights me is finding a man who’s not afraid to love. You do love her, right?”
“Yes.”
“Sure.”
“Is she very pretty?”
"Is she really pretty?"
Sanin was slightly stung by this last question…. However, there was no drawing back.
Sanin was a bit taken aback by this last question… However, there was no going back.
“You know, Maria Nikolaevna,” he began, “every man thinks the face of his beloved better than all others; but my betrothed is really beautiful.”
“You know, Maria Nikolaevna,” he started, “every guy thinks their crush is more beautiful than anyone else; but my fiancée truly is beautiful.”
“Really? In what style? Italian? antique?”
“Really? In what style? Italian? Vintage?”
“Yes; she has very regular features.”
“Yes, she has very symmetrical features.”
“You have not got her portrait with you?”
“You don’t have her picture with you?”
“No.” (At that time photography was not yet talked off. Daguerrotypes had hardly begun to be common.)
“No.” (At that time, photography still wasn't a widely discussed topic. Daguerreotypes had just started to become somewhat common.)
“What’s her name?”
“What's her name?”
“Her name is Gemma.”
"Her name's Gemma."
“And yours?”
"And yours?"
“Dimitri.”
“Dimitri.”
“And your father’s?”
"And what about your dad?"
“Pavlovitch.”
“Pavlovitch.”
“Do you know,” Maria Nikolaevna said, still in the same drawling voice, “I like you very much, Dimitri Pavlovitch. You must be an excellent fellow. Give me your hand. Let us be friends.”
“Do you know,” Maria Nikolaevna said in her usual slow voice, “I really like you, Dimitri Pavlovitch. You must be a great guy. Give me your hand. Let’s be friends.”
She pressed his hand tightly in her beautiful, white, strong fingers. Her hand was a little smaller than his hand, but much warmer and smoother and whiter and more full of life.
She gripped his hand firmly with her beautiful, strong, white fingers. Her hand was slightly smaller than his, but it was much warmer, smoother, whiter, and more alive.
“Only, do you know what strikes me?”
“Only, do you know what stands out to me?”
“What?”
“Whaaat?”
“You won’t be angry? No? You say she is betrothed to you. But was that … was that quite necessary?”
“You're not going to be angry? No? You say she's engaged to you. But was that ... really necessary?”
Sanin frowned. “I don’t understand you, Maria Nikolaevna.”
Sanin frowned. “I don’t get you, Maria Nikolaevna.”
Maria Nikolaevna gave a soft low laugh, and shaking her head tossed back the hair that was falling on her cheeks. “Decidedly—he’s delightful,” she commented half pensively, half carelessly. “A perfect knight! After that, there’s no believing in the people who maintain that the race of idealists is extinct!”
Maria Nikolaevna let out a gentle laugh and, shaking her head, brushed back the hair that had fallen over her cheeks. “Definitely—he’s wonderful,” she said, half in thought and half casually. “A true knight! After that, it’s hard to believe anyone who says that idealists are a thing of the past!”
Maria Nikolaevna talked Russian all the time, an astonishingly pure true Moscow Russian, such as the people, not the nobles speak.
Maria Nikolaevna spoke Russian all the time, an incredibly pure, authentic Moscow Russian, like the common people do, not the nobles.
“You’ve been brought up at home, I expect, in a God-fearing, old orthodox family?” she queried. “You’re from what province?”
“You grew up in a religious, traditional family at home, right?” she asked. “Which province are you from?”
“Tula.”
“Tula.”
“Oh! so we’re from the same part. My father … I daresay you know who my father was?”
“Oh! So we’re from the same area. My dad… I bet you know who my dad was?”
“Yes, I know.”
"Yeah, I know."
“He was born in Tula…. He was a Tula man. Well … well. Come, let us get to business now.”
“He was born in Tula…. He was a Tula guy. Well … well. Come on, let’s get down to business now.”
“That is … how come to business? What do you mean to say by that?”
“That is ... how did you get into business? What do you mean by that?”
Maria Nikolaevna half-closed her eyes. “Why, what did you come here for?” (when she screwed up her eyes, their expression became very kindly and a little bantering, when she opened them wide, into their clear, almost cold brilliancy, there came something ill-natured … something menacing. Her eyes gained a peculiar beauty from her eyebrows, which were thick, and met in the centre, and had the smoothness of sable fur). “Don’t you want me to buy your estate? You want money for your nuptials? Don’t you?”
Maria Nikolaevna half-closed her eyes. “So, what did you come here for?” (when she squinted, her expression became very kind and a bit teasing, and when she opened them wide, their clear, almost cold brightness took on something unfriendly … something threatening. Her eyes had a unique beauty thanks to her thick eyebrows, which met in the middle and were smooth like sable fur). “Don’t you want me to buy your estate? You need money for your wedding, right?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“And do you want much?”
"And do you want a lot?"
“I should be satisfied with a few thousand francs at first. Your husband knows my estate. You can consult him—I would take a very moderate price.”
“I should be happy with a few thousand francs at first. Your husband knows my property. You can check with him—I would accept a very reasonable price.”
Maria Nikolaevna tossed her head from left to right. “In the first place,” she began in deliberate tones, drumming with the tips of her fingers on the cuff of Sanin’s coat, “I am not in the habit of consulting my husband, except about matters of dress—he’s my right hand in that; and in the second place, why do you say that you will fix a low price? I don’t want to take advantage of your being very much in love at the moment, and ready to make any sacrifices…. I won’t accept sacrifices of any kind from you. What? Instead of encouraging you … come, how is one to express it properly?—in your noble sentiments, eh? am I to fleece you? that’s not my way. I can be hard on people, on occasion—only not in that way.”
Maria Nikolaevna shook her head from side to side. “First of all,” she said slowly, tapping her fingers on the cuff of Sanin’s coat, “I don’t usually check with my husband, except about clothes—he’s my go-to guy for that; and secondly, why do you say you want to set a low price? I don’t want to take advantage of the fact that you’re currently head over heels and willing to make any sacrifices…. I won’t accept any sacrifices from you. What? Instead of supporting you … come on, how should I put this properly?—in your noble feelings, right? Am I supposed to take advantage of you? That’s not how I operate. I can be tough on people sometimes—but never in that way.”
Sanin was utterly unable to make out whether she was laughing at him or speaking seriously, and only said to himself: “Oh, I can see one has to mind what one’s about with you!”
Sanin couldn’t tell if she was laughing at him or being serious, and he only thought to himself, “Oh, I see I have to be careful around you!”
A man-servant came in with a Russian samovar, tea-things, cream, biscuits, etc., on a big tray; he set all these good things on the table between Sanin and Madame Polozov, and retired.
A servant came in with a Russian samovar, tea items, cream, biscuits, and so on, on a large tray; he placed all these treats on the table between Sanin and Madame Polozov and left.
She poured him out a cup of tea. “You don’t object?” she queried, as she put sugar in his cup with her fingers … though sugar-tongs were lying close by.
She poured him a cup of tea. “Do you mind?” she asked, as she added sugar to his cup with her fingers … even though sugar tongs were right next to her.
“Oh, please!… From such a lovely hand …”
“Oh, come on!… From such a beautiful hand …”
He did not finish his phrase, and almost choked over a sip of tea, while she watched him attentively and brightly.
He didn’t finish his sentence and nearly choked on a sip of tea, while she watched him closely and cheerfully.
“I spoke of a moderate price for my land,” he went on, “because as you are abroad just now, I can hardly suppose you have a great deal of cash available, and in fact, I feel myself that the sale … the purchase of my land, under such conditions is something exceptional, and I ought to take that into consideration.”
“I mentioned a reasonable price for my land,” he continued, “because since you're currently away, I can hardly imagine you have a lot of cash on hand. Honestly, I believe that selling … purchasing my land under these circumstances is quite unusual, and I should factor that in.”
Sanin got confused, and lost the thread of what he was saying, while Maria Nikolaevna softly leaned back in her easy-chair, folded her arms, and watched him with the same attentive bright look. He was silent at last.
Sanin got confused and lost track of what he was saying, while Maria Nikolaevna gently leaned back in her armchair, crossed her arms, and watched him with the same bright, attentive gaze. He eventually fell silent.
“Never mind, go on, go on,” she said, as it were coming to his aid; “I’m listening to you. I like to hear you; go on talking.”
“Never mind, keep going, keep going,” she said, as if trying to support him; “I’m listening to you. I enjoy hearing you; keep talking.”
Sanin fell to describing his estate, how many acres it contained, and where it was situated, and what were its agricultural advantages, and what profit could be made from it … he even referred to the picturesque situation of the house; while Maria Nikolaevna still watched him, and watched more and more intently and radiantly, and her lips faintly stirred, without smiling: she bit them. He felt awkward at last; he was silent a second time.
Sanin started to talk about his estate, how many acres it had, where it was located, what agricultural benefits it offered, and the profits it could bring… he even mentioned the beautiful location of the house; meanwhile, Maria Nikolaevna continued to watch him, her gaze becoming more intense and radiant, her lips slightly moving as she bit them without smiling. He eventually felt uncomfortable and fell silent again.
“Dimitri Pavlovitch,” began Maria Nikolaevna, and sank into thought again…. “Dimitri Pavlovitch,” she repeated…. “Do you know what: I am sure the purchase of your estate will be a very profitable transaction for me, and that we shall come to terms; but you must give me two days…. Yes, two days’ grace. You are able to endure two days’ separation from your betrothed, aren’t you? Longer I won’t keep you against your will—I give you my word of honour. But if you want five or six thousand francs at once, I am ready with great pleasure to let you have it as a loan, and then we’ll settle later.”
“Dimitri Pavlovitch,” Maria Nikolaevna began, falling deep into thought again…. “Dimitri Pavlovitch,” she repeated…. “You know what? I’m sure that buying your estate will end up being a really profitable deal for me, and I believe we can reach an agreement; but you need to give me two days…. Yes, just two days’ grace. You can handle being apart from your fiancée for two days, can’t you? I won’t hold you back against your will for any longer—I promise you that. But if you need five or six thousand francs right away, I’d be more than happy to lend it to you, and we can work things out later.”
Sanin got up. “I must thank you, Maria Nikolaevna, for your kindhearted and friendly readiness to do a service to a man almost unknown to you. But if that is your decided wish, then I prefer to await your decision about my estate—I will stay here two days.”
Sanin stood up. “I really want to thank you, Maria Nikolaevna, for your kind and friendly willingness to help someone you barely know. But if that's what you really want, then I’d rather wait for your decision about my estate—I’ll stay here for two days.”
“Yes; that is my wish, Dimitri Pavlovitch. And will it be very hard for you? Very? Tell me.”
“Yes, that’s my wish, Dimitri Pavlovitch. Will it be really hard for you? Really? Tell me.”
“I love my betrothed, Maria Nikolaevna, and to be separated from her is hard for me.”
“I love my fiancé, Maria Nikolaevna, and being apart from her is tough for me.”
“Ah! you’re a heart of gold!” Maria Nikolaevna commented with a sigh. “I promise not to torment you too much. Are you going?”
“Ah! you have a heart of gold!” Maria Nikolaevna said with a sigh. “I promise not to bother you too much. Are you leaving?”
“It is late,” observed Sanin.
“It's late,” Sanin noted.
“And you want to rest after your journey, and your game of ‘fools’ with my husband. Tell me, were you a great friend of Ippolit Sidorovitch, my husband?”
“And you want to take a break after your trip and your game of ‘fools’ with my husband. Tell me, were you good friends with Ippolit Sidorovitch, my husband?”
“We were educated at the same school.”
“We went to the same school.”
“And was he the same then?”
“And was he the same back then?”
“The same as what?” inquired Sanin. Maria Nikolaevna burst out laughing, and laughed till she was red in the face; she put her handkerchief to her lips, rose from her chair, and swaying as though she were tired, went up to Sanin, and held out her hand to him.
“Same as what?” Sanin asked. Maria Nikolaevna laughed out loud, her face turning bright red; she covered her mouth with her handkerchief, stood up from her chair, and swayed a bit as if she were tired, then walked up to Sanin and held out her hand to him.
He bowed over it, and went towards the door.
He leaned over it and walked toward the door.
“Come early to-morrow—do you hear?” she called after him. He looked back as he went out of the room, and saw that she had again dropped into an easy-chair, and flung both arms behind her head. The loose sleeves of her tea-gown fell open almost to her shoulders, and it was impossible not to admit that the pose of the arms, that the whole figure, was enchantingly beautiful.
“Come early tomorrow—do you hear?” she called after him. He looked back as he left the room and saw that she had once again settled into an easy chair, throwing both arms behind her head. The loose sleeves of her tea gown fell open almost to her shoulders, and it was hard to deny that the way her arms were posed, the whole figure, was enchantingly beautiful.
XXXVI
Long after midnight the lamp was burning in Sanin’s room. He sat down to the table and wrote to “his Gemma.” He told her everything; he described the Polozovs—husband and wife—but, more than all, enlarged on his own feelings, and ended by appointing a meeting with her in three days!!! (with three marks of exclamation). Early in the morning he took this letter to the post, and went for a walk in the garden of the Kurhaus, where music was already being played. There were few people in it as yet; he stood before the arbour in which the orchestra was placed, listened to an adaptation of airs from “Robert le Diable,” and after drinking some coffee, turned into a solitary side walk, sat down on a bench, and fell into a reverie. The handle of a parasol gave him a rapid, and rather vigorous, thump on the shoulder. He started…. Before him in a light, grey-green barége dress, in a white tulle hat, and suède gloves, stood Maria Nikolaevna, fresh and rosy as a summer morning, though the languor of sound unbroken sleep had not yet quite vanished from her movements and her eyes.
Long after midnight, the lamp was still on in Sanin’s room. He sat down at the table and wrote to “his Gemma.” He shared everything with her; he described the Polozovs—husband and wife—but more than anything, he focused on his own feelings, ending the letter by setting a meeting with her in three days!!! (with three exclamation points). Early in the morning, he took the letter to the post and went for a walk in the garden of the Kurhaus, where music was already playing. There were only a few people there at that time; he stood in front of the gazebo where the orchestra was located, listened to a rendition of tunes from “Robert le Diable,” and after having some coffee, he wandered into a quiet path, sat down on a bench, and fell into a daydream. A parasol handle gave him a quick, rather forceful, tap on the shoulder. He jumped.... In front of him stood Maria Nikolaevna, wearing a light grey-green dress, a white tulle hat, and suede gloves, looking fresh and rosy like a summer morning, though the lingering laziness of a deep sleep hadn’t completely faded from her movements and her eyes.
“Good-morning,” she said. “I sent after you to-day, but you’d already gone out. I’ve only just drunk my second glass—they’re making me drink the water here, you know—whatever for, there’s no telling … am I not healthy enough? And now I have to walk for a whole hour. Will you be my companion? And then we’ll have some coffee.”
“Good morning,” she said. “I asked for you today, but you had already left. I just finished my second glass—they’re making me drink the water here, you know—who knows why... am I not healthy enough? And now I have to walk for a whole hour. Will you keep me company? Then we can have some coffee.”
“I’ve had some already,” Sanin observed, getting up; “but I shall be very glad to have a walk with you.”
“I’ve already had some,” Sanin said as he stood up; “but I’d love to take a walk with you.”
“Very well, give me your arm then; don’t be afraid: your betrothed is not here—she won’t see you.”
“Alright, let me take your arm then; don’t worry: your fiancée isn’t here—she won’t see you.”
Sanin gave a constrained smile. He experienced a disagreeable sensation every time Maria Nikolaevna referred to Gemma. However, he made haste to bend towards her obediently…. Maria Nikolaevna’s arm slipped slowly and softly into his arm, and glided over it, and seemed to cling tight to it.
Sanin forced a tight smile. He felt an uncomfortable sensation every time Maria Nikolaevna mentioned Gemma. Still, he quickly leaned in toward her in compliance…. Maria Nikolaevna’s arm gently slid into his, wrapping around it and seeming to cling to him.
“Come—this way,” she said to him, putting up her open parasol over her shoulder. “I’m quite at home in this park; I will take you to the best places. And do you know what? (she very often made use of this expression), we won’t talk just now about that sale, we’ll have a thorough discussion of that after lunch; but you must tell me now about yourself … so that I may know whom I have to do with. And afterwards, if you like, I will tell you about myself. Do you agree?”
“Come this way,” she said to him, raising her open umbrella over her shoulder. “I know this park really well; I’ll show you the best spots. And you know what? (She often said this.) Let’s not talk about that sale right now; we can discuss it thoroughly after lunch. But you have to tell me about yourself first... so I know who I’m dealing with. And then, if you want, I’ll share about myself. Does that sound good?”
“But, Maria Nikolaevna, what interest can there be for you …”
“But, Maria Nikolaevna, what could possibly interest you …”
“Stop, stop. You don’t understand me. I don’t want to flirt with you.” Maria Nikolaevna shrugged her shoulders. “He’s got a betrothed like an antique statue, is it likely I am going to flirt with him? But you’ve something to sell, and I’m the purchaser. I want to know what your goods are like. Well, of course, you must show what they are like. I don’t only want to know what I’m buying, but whom I’m buying from. That was my father’s rule. Come, begin … come, if not from childhood—come now, have you been long abroad? And where have you been up till now? Only don’t walk so fast, we’re in no hurry.”
“Stop, stop. You don’t get me. I’m not trying to flirt with you.” Maria Nikolaevna shrugged. “He’s engaged like an old statue; do you really think I’m going to flirt with him? But you have something to sell, and I’m the buyer. I want to know what your stuff is like. Well, of course, you have to show me what it is. I don’t just want to know what I’m buying, but also who I’m buying from. That was my dad’s rule. Come on, start … come on, even if not from childhood—come on, have you been abroad for a while? And where have you been until now? Just don’t walk so fast; we’re in no rush.”
“I came here from Italy, where I spent several months.”
“I came here from Italy, where I spent a few months.”
“Ah, you feel, it seems, a special attraction towards everything Italian. It’s strange you didn’t find your lady-love there. Are you fond of art? of pictures? or more of music?”
“Ah, it seems you have a special attraction to everything Italian. It’s odd you didn’t find your soulmate there. Are you into art? Pictures? Or are you more into music?”
“I am fond of art…. I like everything beautiful.”
“I love art…. I like everything beautiful.”
“And music?”
"And what about music?"
“I like music too.”
"I love music too."
“Well, I don’t at all. I don’t care for anything but Russian songs—and that in the country and in the spring—with dancing, you know … red shirts, wreaths of beads, the young grass in the meadows, the smell of smoke … delicious! But we weren’t talking of me. Go on, tell me.”
“Well, I really don’t. I’m only interested in Russian songs—and that in the countryside and in spring—with dancing, you know … red shirts, wreaths of beads, young grass in the meadows, the smell of smoke … wonderful! But we weren’t talking about me. Keep going, tell me.”
Maria Nikolaevna walked on, and kept looking at Sanin. She was tall—her face was almost on a level with his face.
Maria Nikolaevna walked on and kept looking at Sanin. She was tall—her face was almost at the same height as his.
He began to talk—at first reluctantly, unskilfully—but afterwards he talked more freely, chattered away in fact. Maria Nikolaevna was a very good listener; and moreover she seemed herself so frank, that she led others unconsciously on to frankness. She possessed that great gift of “intimateness”—le terrible don de la familiarité—to which Cardinal Retz refers. Sanin talked of his travels, of his life in Petersburg, of his youth…. Had Maria Nikolaevna been a lady of fashion, with refined manners, he would never have opened out so; but she herself spoke of herself as a “good fellow,” who had no patience with ceremony of any sort; it was in those words that she characterised herself to Sanin. And at the same time this “good fellow” walked by his side with feline grace, slightly bending towards him, and peeping into his face; and this “good fellow” walked in the form of a young feminine creature, full of the tormenting, fiery, soft and seductive charm, of which—for the undoing of us poor weak sinful men—only Slav natures are possessed, and but few of them, and those never of pure Slav blood, with no foreign alloy. Sanin’s walk with Maria Nikolaevna, Sanin’s talk with Maria Nikolaevna lasted over an hour. And they did not stop once; they kept walking about the endless avenues of the park, now mounting a hill and admiring the view as they went, and now going down into the valley, and getting hidden in the thick shadows,—and all the while arm-in-arm. At times Sanin felt positively irritated; he had never walked so long with Gemma, his darling Gemma … but this lady had simply taken possession of him, and there was no escape! “Aren’t you tired?” he said to her more than once. “I never get tired,” she answered. Now and then they met other people walking in the park; almost all of them bowed—some respectfully, others even cringingly. To one of them, a very handsome, fashionably dressed dark man, she called from a distance with the best Parisian accent, “Comte, vous savez, il ne faut pas venir me voir—ni aujourd’hui ni demain.” The man took off his hat, without speaking, and dropped a low bow.
He started talking—at first hesitantly and awkwardly—but then he opened up more and started chatting freely. Maria Nikolaevna was a great listener; she seemed so open herself that she naturally encouraged others to be open as well. She had that amazing ability of “intimacy”—le terrible don de la familiarité—which Cardinal Retz mentions. Sanin talked about his travels, his life in Petersburg, his youth…. If Maria Nikolaevna had been a fashionable lady with refined manners, he never would have shared so much; but she referred to herself as a “good fellow” who had no patience for any kind of formality; that’s how she described herself to Sanin. At the same time, this “good fellow” walked beside him with a graceful, feline charm, leaning towards him slightly and peering into his face; and this “good fellow” was a young woman full of that captivating, fiery, gentle, and seductive allure that only some Slavic natures possess—and even then, only a few of them, and never of pure Slavic blood without any foreign mix. Sanin’s stroll with Maria Nikolaevna lasted over an hour, and they didn’t stop even once; they walked through the endless paths of the park, sometimes climbing a hill to enjoy the view, and at other times going down into the valley and getting lost in the thick shadows—all the while arm-in-arm. At times, Sanin felt genuinely annoyed; he had never walked so long with Gemma, his beloved Gemma… but this lady just took hold of him, and there was no escaping! “Aren’t you tired?” he asked her more than once. “I never get tired,” she replied. Every now and then, they passed other people in the park; almost all of them bowed—some with respect, others even overly submissively. To one of them, a very handsome man dressed fashionably, she called from a distance with a perfect Parisian accent, “Comte, vous savez, il ne faut pas venir me voir—ni aujourd’hui ni demain.” The man removed his hat, without speaking, and gave a deep bow.
“Who’s that?” asked Sanin with the bad habit of asking questions characteristic of all Russians.
“Who’s that?” Sanin asked, falling into the bad habit of questioning that’s typical of all Russians.
“Oh, a Frenchman, there are lots of them here … He’s dancing attendance on me too. It’s time for our coffee, though. Let’s go home; you must be hungry by this time, I should say. My better half must have got his eye-peeps open by now.”
“Oh, a Frenchman, there are plenty of them around here… He’s also paying attention to me. But it's time for our coffee. Let’s head home; you must be getting hungry by now, I’d say. My partner must be awake by this point.”
“Better half! Eye-peeps!” Sanin repeated to himself … “And speaks French so well … what a strange creature!”
“Better half! Eye-peeps!” Sanin repeated to himself … “And speaks French so well … what a strange person!”
Maria Nikolaevna was not mistaken. When she went back into the hotel with Sanin, her “better half” or “dumpling” was already seated, the invariable fez on his head, before a table laid for breakfast.
Maria Nikolaevna was right. When she walked back into the hotel with Sanin, her “better half” or “dumpling” was already sitting at a table set for breakfast, the usual fez on his head.
“I’ve been waiting for you!” he cried, making a sour face. “I was on the point of having coffee without you.”
“I've been waiting for you!” he shouted, making a grimace. “I was about to have coffee without you.”
“Never mind, never mind,” Maria Nikolaevna responded cheerfully. “Are you angry? That’s good for you; without that you’d turn into a mummy altogether. Here I’ve brought a visitor. Make haste and ring! Let us have coffee—the best coffee—in Saxony cups on a snow-white cloth!”
“It's all good, it's all good,” Maria Nikolaevna replied brightly. “Are you upset? That’s actually good for you; without it, you’d completely turn into a statue. I’ve brought a guest. Hurry up and ring for service! Let’s have coffee—the best coffee—in Saxony cups on a pristine white cloth!”
She threw off her hat and gloves, and clapped her hands.
She took off her hat and gloves and clapped her hands.
Polozov looked at her from under his brows.
Polozov glanced at her from beneath his eyebrows.
“What makes you so skittish to-day, Maria Nikolaevna?” he said in an undertone.
“What’s making you so jumpy today, Maria Nikolaevna?” he said quietly.
“That’s no business of yours, Ippolit Sidoritch! Ring! Dimitri Pavlovitch, sit down and have some coffee for the second time. Ah, how nice it is to give orders! There’s no pleasure on earth like it!”
“That's none of your business, Ippolit Sidoritch! Ring! Dimitri Pavlovitch, sit down and have some coffee again. Ah, how great it is to give orders! There's no joy on earth like it!”
“When you’re obeyed,” grumbled her husband again.
“When you’re listened to,” her husband complained again.
“Just so, when one’s obeyed! That’s why I’m so happy! Especially with you. Isn’t it so, dumpling? Ah, here’s the coffee.”
“Exactly! That’s why I’m so happy! Especially with you. Right, sweetheart? Ah, here’s the coffee.”
On the immense tray, which the waiter brought in, there lay also a playbill. Maria Nikolaevna snatched it up at once.
On the huge tray that the waiter brought in, there was also a playbill. Maria Nikolaevna grabbed it immediately.
“A drama!” she pronounced with indignation, “a German drama. No matter; it’s better than a German comedy. Order a box for me—baignoire—or no … better the Fremden-Loge,” she turned to the waiter. “Do you hear: the Fremden-Loge it must be!”
“A drama!” she declared with frustration, “a German drama. Whatever; it's better than a German comedy. Get me a box—baignoire—or no … better the Fremden-Loge,” she said to the waiter. “Do you hear me: it has to be the Fremden-Loge!”
“But if the Fremden-Loge has been already taken by his excellency, the director of the town (seine Excellenz der Herr Stadt-Director),” the waiter ventured to demur.
“But if the Fremden-Loge has already been booked by his excellency, the director of the town (seine Excellenz der Herr Stadt-Director),” the waiter hesitated to disagree.
“Give his excellency ten thalers, and let the box be mine! Do you hear!”
“Give his excellency ten thalers, and let the box be mine! Do you hear!”
The waiter bent his head humbly and mournfully.
The waiter lowered his head with a mix of humility and sadness.
“Dimitri Pavlovitch, you will go with me to the theatre? the German actors are awful, but you will go … Yes? Yes? How obliging you are! Dumpling, are you not coming?
“Dimitri Pavlovitch, will you come with me to the theater? The German actors are terrible, but will you go … Yes? Yes? How accommodating you are! Dumpling, aren’t you coming?
“You settle it,” Polozov observed into the cup he had lifted to his lips.
“You decide,” Polozov said, looking into the cup he had raised to his lips.
“Do you know what, you stay at home. You always go to sleep at the theatre, and you don’t understand much German. I’ll tell you what you’d better do, write an answer to the overseer—you remember, about our mill … about the peasants’ grinding. Tell him that I won’t have it, and I won’t and that’s all about it! There’s occupation for you for the whole evening.”
“Do you know what? Just stay home. You always fall asleep at the theater, and you don’t understand much German anyway. Here’s what you should do: write a response to the overseer—you remember, about our mill… about the farmers’ grinding. Tell him that I won’t accept it, and that’s final! There’s something for you to do for the whole evening.”
“All right,” answered Polozov.
“Okay,” answered Polozov.
“Well then, that’s first-rate. You’re a darling. And now, gentlemen, as we have just been speaking of my overseer, let’s talk about our great business. Come, directly the waiter has cleared the table, you shall tell me all, Dimitri Pavlovitch, about your estate, what price you will sell it for, how much you want paid down in advance, everything, in fact! (At last, thought Sanin, thank God!) You have told me something about it already, you remember, you described your garden delightfully, but dumpling wasn’t here…. Let him hear, he may pick a hole somewhere! I’m delighted to think that I can help you to get married, besides, I promised you that I would go into your business after lunch, and I always keep my promises, isn’t that the truth, Ippolit Sidoritch?”
“Well then, that’s excellent. You’re such a sweetheart. And now, gentlemen, since we've just been talking about my overseer, let’s discuss our big business. Once the waiter clears the table, you’re going to tell me everything, Dimitri Pavlovitch, about your estate, how much you want to sell it for, what you need as a down payment, really everything! (Finally, thought Sanin, thank goodness!) You’ve shared some details already; remember, you described your garden beautifully, but dumpling wasn’t here…. Let him listen, he might find something wrong with it! I’m really happy to think that I can help you get married, and I promised you I would look into your business after lunch, and I always keep my promises, don’t I, Ippolit Sidoritch?”
Polozov rubbed his face with his open hand. “The truth’s the truth. You don’t deceive any one.”
Polozov rubbed his face with his open hand. “The truth is the truth. You’re not fooling anyone.”
“Never! and I never will deceive any one. Well, Dimitri Pavlovitch, expound the case as we express it in the senate.”
“Never! and I never will deceive anyone. Well, Dimitri Pavlovitch, explain the case as we put it in the senate.”
XXXVII
Sanin proceeded to expound his case, that is to say, again, a second time, to describe his property, not touching this time on the beauties of nature, and now and then appealing to Polozov for confirmation of his “facts and figures.” But Polozov simply gasped and shook his head, whether in approval or disapproval, it would have puzzled the devil, one might fancy, to decide. However, Maria Nikolaevna stood in no need of his aid. She exhibited commercial and administrative abilities that were really astonishing! She was familiar with all the ins-and-outs of farming; she asked questions about everything with great exactitude, went into every point; every word of hers went straight to the root of the matter, and hit the nail on the head. Sanin had not expected such a close inquiry, he had not prepared himself for it. And this inquiry lasted for fully an hour and a half. Sanin experienced all the sensations of the criminal on his trial, sitting on a narrow bench confronted by a stern and penetrating judge. “Why, it’s a cross-examination!” he murmured to himself dejectedly. Maria Nikolaevna kept laughing all the while, as though it were a joke; but Sanin felt none the more at ease for that; and when in the course of the “cross-examination” it turned out that he had not clearly realised the exact meaning of the words “repartition” and “tilth,” he was in a cold perspiration all over.
Sanin started explaining his situation again, describing his property but this time skipping the natural beauty aspects. He occasionally looked to Polozov for validation of his “facts and figures.” Polozov just gasped and shook his head, and it was hard to tell if he agreed or disagreed. However, Maria Nikolaevna didn’t need his help. She showed some really impressive business and management skills! She knew all the details about farming; she asked precise questions about everything, delving into every point. Every word she said got straight to the heart of the matter and hit the nail on the head. Sanin hadn’t anticipated such thorough questioning and wasn’t prepared for it. This interrogation lasted a full hour and a half. Sanin felt like a criminal on trial, sitting on a narrow bench facing a stern and perceptive judge. “This is like a cross-examination!” he thought to himself gloomily. Maria Nikolaevna kept laughing as if it were a joke, but that didn’t make Sanin feel any more comfortable. And when it became clear during the “cross-examination” that he didn’t fully understand the meanings of “repartition” and “tilth,” he broke out in a cold sweat.
“Well, that’s all right!” Maria Nikolaevna decided at last. “I know your estate now … as well as you do. What price do you suggest per soul?” (At that time, as every one knows, the prices of estates were reckoned by the souls living as serfs on them.)
“Well, that’s fine!” Maria Nikolaevna finally decided. “I know your estate now … just as well as you do. What price do you suggest per serf?” (Back then, as everyone knows, estate prices were calculated based on the number of souls living as serfs on them.)
“Well … I imagine … I could not take less than five hundred roubles for each,” Sanin articulated with difficulty. O Pantaleone, Pantaleone, where were you! This was when you ought to have cried again, “Barbari!”
“Well … I guess … I couldn’t take less than five hundred roubles for each,” Sanin said with some struggle. O Pantaleone, Pantaleone, where are you! This was the moment you should have shouted again, “Barbari!”
Maria Nikolaevna turned her eyes upwards as though she were calculating.
Maria Nikolaevna looked up as if she were doing some calculations.
“Well?” she said at last. “I think there’s no harm in that price. But I reserved for myself two days’ grace, and you must wait till to-morrow. I imagine we shall come to an arrangement, and then you will tell me how much you want paid down. And now, basta cosi!” she cried, noticing Sanin was about to make some reply. “We’ve spent enough time over filthy lucre … à demain les affaires. Do you know what, I’ll let you go now … (she glanced at a little enamelled watch, stuck in her belt) … till three o’clock … I must let you rest. Go and play roulette.”
“Well?” she said finally. “I don’t think that price is a problem. But I’m giving myself two days to decide, and you’ll have to wait until tomorrow. I’m sure we’ll reach an agreement, and then you can tell me how much you want upfront. And now, basta cosi!” she exclaimed, noticing Sanin was about to respond. “We’ve already spent too much time on money matters… à demain les affaires. You know what, I’ll let you go for now… (she glanced at a little enamel watch tucked into her belt) … until three o’clock… I need to let you rest. Go and play roulette.”
“I never play games of chance,” observed Sanin.
“I never play games of chance,” Sanin said.
“Really? Why, you’re a paragon. Though I don’t either. It’s stupid throwing away one’s money when one’s no chance. But go into the gambling saloon, and look at the faces. Very comic ones there are there. There’s one old woman with a rustic headband and a moustache, simply delicious! Our prince there’s another, a good one too. A majestic figure with a nose like an eagle’s, and when he puts down a thaler, he crosses himself under his waistcoat. Read the papers, go a walk, do what you like, in fact. But at three o’clock I expect you … de pied ferme. We shall have to dine a little earlier. The theatre among these absurd Germans begins at half-past six. She held out her hand. “Sans rancune, n’est-ce pas?”
“Really? You’re amazing. Although I don’t either. It’s ridiculous to throw away your money when you have no chance. But go into the gambling hall and check out the faces. There are some really funny ones there. There’s this old woman with a country-style headband and a mustache—simply delightful! Our prince is another good one too. A majestic figure with an eagle-like nose, and when he puts down a thaler, he crosses himself under his waistcoat. Read the papers, take a walk, do whatever you like, really. But I expect you at three o’clock… de pied ferme. We’ll have to eat a bit earlier. The theater among these ridiculous Germans starts at half-past six.” She held out her hand. “Sans rancune, n’est-ce pas?”
“Really, Maria Nikolaevna, what reason have I to be annoyed?”
“Honestly, Maria Nikolaevna, what reason do I have to be annoyed?”
“Why, because I’ve been tormenting you. Wait a little, you’ll see. There’s worse to come,” she added, fluttering her eyelids, and all her dimples suddenly came out on her flushing cheeks. “Till we meet!”
“Why? Because I've been messing with you. Just wait a bit, you'll see. There's worse ahead,” she said, batting her eyelashes, and all her dimples suddenly appeared on her blushing cheeks. “See you later!”
Sanin bowed and went out. A merry laugh rang out after him, and in the looking-glass which he was passing at that instant, the following scene was reflected: Maria Nikolaevna had pulled her husband’s fez over his eyes, and he was helplessly struggling with both hands.
Sanin bowed and stepped outside. A cheerful laugh echoed behind him, and in the mirror he passed at that moment, he saw this scene reflected: Maria Nikolaevna had pulled her husband’s fez down over his eyes, and he was helplessly trying to push it off with both hands.
XXXVIII
Oh, what a deep sigh of delight Sanin heaved, when he found himself in his room! Indeed, Maria Nikolaevna had spoken the truth, he needed rest, rest from all these new acquaintances, collisions, conversations, from this suffocating atmosphere which was affecting his head and his heart, from this enigmatical, uninvited intimacy with a woman, so alien to him! And when was all this taking place? Almost the day after he had learnt that Gemma loved him, after he had become betrothed to her. Why, it was sacrilege! A thousand times he mentally asked forgiveness of his pure chaste dove, though he could not really blame himself for anything; a thousand times over he kissed the cross she had given him. Had he not the hope of bringing the business, for which he had come to Wiesbaden, to a speedy and successful conclusion, he would have rushed off headlong, back again, to sweet Frankfort, to that dear house, now his own home, to her, to throw himself at her loved feet…. But there was no help for it! The cup must be drunk to the dregs, he must dress, go to dinner, and from there to the theatre…. If only she would let him go to-morrow!
Oh, what a deep sigh of relief Sanin let out when he got back to his room! Maria Nikolaevna was right; he really needed a break—away from all these new people, all the awkward encounters and conversations, from this stifling atmosphere that was messing with his mind and heart, and from this confusing, uninvited closeness with a woman who felt so foreign to him! And when was all this happening? Almost the day after he found out Gemma loved him, after he got engaged to her. It felt like sacrilege! A thousand times he silently asked for forgiveness from his pure and innocent dove, even though he couldn’t really blame himself for anything; a thousand times he kissed the cross she had given him. If he didn't have hope of wrapping up the business that brought him to Wiesbaden quickly and successfully, he would have rushed back to sweet Frankfurt, to that beloved house, now his home, to her, to throw himself at her feet…. But it was no use! He had to face the reality—he needed to get dressed, go to dinner, and then to the theater…. If only she would let him leave tomorrow!
One other thing confounded him, angered him; with love, with tenderness, with grateful transport he dreamed of Gemma, of their life together, of the happiness awaiting him in the future, and yet this strange woman, this Madame Polozov persistently floated—no! not floated, poked herself, so Sanin with special vindictiveness expressed it—poked herself in and faced his eyes, and he could not rid himself of her image, could not help hearing her voice, recalling her words, could not help being aware even of the special scent, delicate, fresh and penetrating, like the scent of yellow lilies, that was wafted from her garments. This lady was obviously fooling him, and trying in every way to get over him … what for? what did she want? Could it be merely the caprice of a spoiled, rich, and most likely unprincipled woman? And that husband! What a creature he was! What were his relations with her? And why would these questions keep coming into his head, when he, Sanin, had really no interest whatever in either Polozov or his wife? Why could he not drive away that intrusive image, even when he turned with his whole soul to another image, clear and bright as God’s sunshine? How, through those almost divine features, dare those others force themselves upon him? And not only that; those other features smiled insolently at him. Those grey, rapacious eyes, those dimples, those snake-like tresses, how was it all that seemed to cleave to him, and to shake it all off, and fling it away, he was unable, had not the power?
One other thing confused and angered him; with love, with tenderness, with grateful excitement, he dreamed of Gemma, of their life together, of the happiness waiting for him in the future. And yet, this strange woman, Madame Polozov, kept poking herself—no! not just floating, poking herself, as Sanin cruelly put it—poked herself into his mind and faced him, and he couldn’t shake her image, couldn’t help hearing her voice, remembering her words, couldn’t help noticing even the unique scent, delicate, fresh, and strong, like the scent of yellow lilies, that wafted from her clothes. This lady was obviously toying with him, trying in every way to get to him… but why? What did she want? Could it be just the whim of a spoiled, wealthy, and most likely selfish woman? And that husband! What a piece of work he was! What was his relationship with her? And why did these questions keep popping into his head when he, Sanin, had no real interest in either Polozov or his wife? Why couldn’t he get rid of that intrusive image, even when he turned with all his heart to another image, clear and bright like God’s sunlight? How could those almost divine features force the others upon him? And not only that; those other features smiled at him shamelessly. Those gray, greedy eyes, those dimples, those snake-like locks—how was it that all of it seemed to cling to him, and no matter how hard he tried to shake it off and get rid of it, he couldn’t?
Nonsense! nonsense! to-morrow it would all vanish and leave no trace…. But would she let him go to-morrow?
Nonsense! Nonsense! Tomorrow it would all disappear without a trace... But would she really let him go tomorrow?
Yes…. All these question he put to himself, but the time was moving on to three o’clock, and he put on a black frockcoat and after a turn in the park, went in to the Polozovs!
Yes…. He asked himself all these questions, but time was moving toward three o’clock, so he put on a black frock coat and after a stroll in the park, headed to the Polozovs!
He found in their drawing-room a secretary of the legation, a very tall light-haired German, with the profile of a horse, and his hair parted down the back of his head (at that time a new fashion), and … oh, wonder! whom besides? Von Dönhof, the very officer with whom he had fought a few days before! He had not the slightest expectation of meeting him there and could not help being taken aback. He greeted him, however.
He found a secretary of the legation in their living room, a very tall, light-haired German with a horse-like profile and his hair parted down the back of his head (which was a new trend at the time), and … oh, surprise! Who else? Von Dönhof, the exact officer he had fought just a few days earlier! He had no idea he would run into him there and couldn’t help but be shocked. Nevertheless, he greeted him.
“Are you acquainted?” asked Maria Nikolaevna who had not failed to notice Sanin’s embarrassment.
“Do you know each other?” asked Maria Nikolaevna, who had noticed Sanin’s embarrassment.
“Yes … I have already had the honour,” said Dönhof, and bending a little aside, in an undertone he added to Maria Nikolaevna, with a smile, “The very man … your compatriot … the Russian …”
“Yes … I’ve already had the honor,” said Dönhof, and leaning a bit closer, he quietly added to Maria Nikolaevna, smiling, “The very man … your fellow countryman … the Russian …”
“Impossible!” she exclaimed also in an undertone; she shook her finger at him, and at once began to bid good-bye both to him and the long secretary, who was, to judge by every symptom, head over ears in love with her; he positively gaped every time he looked at her. Dönhof promptly took leave with amiable docility, like a friend of the family who understands at half a word what is expected of him; the secretary showed signs of restiveness, but Maria Nikolaevna turned him out without any kind of ceremony.
“Impossible!” she exclaimed quietly; she shook her finger at him and immediately started to say goodbye to both him and the long secretary, who, judging by all the signs, was completely smitten with her; he practically stared every time he looked at her. Dönhof quickly took his leave with friendly compliance, like a family friend who knows what’s expected with just a glance; the secretary showed signs of impatience, but Maria Nikolaevna dismissed him without any formality.
“Get along to your sovereign mistress,” she said to him (there was at that time in Wiesbaden a certain princess di Monaco, who looked surprisingly like a cocotte of the poorer sort); “what do you want to stay with a plebeian like me for?”
“Go see your royal lady,” she told him (at that time in Wiesbaden, there was a certain Princess di Monaco, who looked surprisingly like a cocotte from the lower class); “why do you want to hang out with someone ordinary like me?”
“Really, dear madam,” protested the luckless secretary, “all the princesses in the world….”
“Honestly, dear madam,” complained the unfortunate secretary, “all the princesses in the world….”
But Maria Nikolaevna was remorseless, and the secretary went away, parting and all.
But Maria Nikolaevna was unyielding, and the secretary left, saying goodbye and all.
Maria Nikolaevna was dressed that day very much “to her advantage,” as our grandmothers used to say. She wore a pink glacé silk dress, with sleeves à la Fontange, and a big diamond in each ear. Her eyes sparkled as much as her diamonds; she seemed in a good humour and in high spirits.
Maria Nikolaevna was dressed that day very much "to her advantage," as our grandmothers used to say. She wore a pink glazed silk dress, with sleeves à la Fontange, and a big diamond in each ear. Her eyes sparkled as much as her diamonds; she seemed in a good mood and in high spirits.
She made Sanin sit beside her, and began talking to him about Paris, where she was intending to go in a few days, of how sick she was of Germans, how stupid they were when they tried to be clever, and how inappropriately clever sometimes when they were stupid; and suddenly, point-blank, as they say—à brûle pourpoint—asked him, was it true that he had fought a duel with the very officer who had been there just now, only a few days ago, on account of a lady?
She made Sanin sit next to her and started talking about Paris, where she planned to go in a few days, how tired she was of Germans, how foolish they were when they tried to act smart, and how they could be annoyingly clever when they were being stupid; and suddenly, bluntly, as they say—à brûle pourpoint—she asked him if it was true that he had dueled with the same officer who had just been there a few days ago because of a woman.
“How did you know that?” muttered Sanin, dumfoundered.
“How did you know that?” Sanin muttered, stunned.
“The earth is full of rumours, Dimitri Pavlovitch; but anyway, I know you were quite right, perfectly right, and behaved like a knight. Tell me, was that lady your betrothed?”
“The world is full of rumors, Dimitri Pavlovitch; but still, I know you were absolutely right, completely right, and acted like a true gentleman. Tell me, was that woman your fiancée?”
Sanin slightly frowned …
Sanin frowned slightly…
“There, I won’t, I won’t,” Maria Nikolaevna hastened to say. “You don’t like it, forgive me, I won’t do it, don’t be angry!” Polozov came in from the next room with a newspaper in his hand. “What do you want? Or is dinner ready?”
“There, I won’t, I won’t,” Maria Nikolaevna quickly said. “If you don’t like it, I’m sorry, I won’t do it, please don’t be angry!” Polozov entered from the next room with a newspaper in his hand. “What do you need? Or is dinner ready?”
“Dinner’ll be ready directly, but just see what I’ve read in the Northern Bee … Prince Gromoboy is dead.”
“Dinner will be ready soon, but just check out what I read in the Northern Bee … Prince Gromoboy is dead.”
Maria Nikolaevna raised her head.
Maria Nikolaevna lifted her head.
“Ah! I wish him the joys of Paradise! He used,” she turned to Sanin, “to fill all my rooms with camellias every February on my birthday. But it wasn’t worth spending the winter in Petersburg for that. He must have been over seventy, I should say?” she said to her husband.
“Ah! I wish him the joys of Paradise! He used,” she turned to Sanin, “to fill all my rooms with camellias every February on my birthday. But it wasn’t worth spending the winter in Petersburg for that. He must have been over seventy, I’d say?” she said to her husband.
“Yes, he was. They describe his funeral in the paper. All the court were present. And here’s a poem too, of Prince Kovrizhkin’s on the occasion.”
“Yes, he was. They wrote about his funeral in the paper. Everyone from the court was there. And here’s a poem as well, by Prince Kovrizhkin, for the occasion.”
“That’s nice!”
"That's great!"
“Shall I read them? The prince calls him the good man of wise counsel.”
“Should I read them? The prince refers to him as the good man with wise advice.”
“No, don’t. The good man of wise counsel? He was simply the goodman of Tatiana Yurevna. Come to dinner. Life is for the living. Dimitri Pavlovitch, your arm.”
“No, don’t. The wise and good man? He was just Tatiana Yurevna's guy. Come to dinner. Life is for those who are alive. Dimitri Pavlovitch, your arm.”
The dinner was, as on the day before, superb, and the meal was a very lively one. Maria Nikolaevna knew how to tell a story … a rare gift in a woman, and especially in a Russian one! She did not restrict herself in her expressions; her countrywomen received particularly severe treatment at her hands. Sanin was more than once set laughing by some bold and well-directed word. Above all, Maria Nikolaevna had no patience with hypocrisy, cant, and humbug. She discovered it almost everywhere. She, as it were, plumed herself on and boasted of the humble surroundings in which she had begun life. She told rather queer anecdotes of her relations in the days of her childhood, spoke of herself as quite as much of a clodhopper as Natalya Kirilovna Narishkin. It became apparent to Sanin that she had been through a great deal more in her time than the majority of women of her age.
The dinner was, just like the day before, amazing, and the meal was full of energy. Maria Nikolaevna knew how to tell a story… a rare talent in a woman, especially a Russian one! She didn’t hold back in her expressions; she gave her fellow countrywomen a particularly hard time. Sanin found himself laughing more than once at her bold and well-aimed comments. Above all, Maria Nikolaevna had no tolerance for hypocrisy, pretentiousness, and nonsense. She spotted it almost everywhere. She took pride in and boasted about the modest background she came from. She shared some pretty funny stories about her relatives from her childhood and described herself as just as much of a bumpkin as Natalya Kirilovna Narishkin. It became clear to Sanin that she had experienced much more in her life than most women her age.
Polozov ate meditatively, drank attentively, and only occasionally cast first on his wife, then on Sanin, his lightish, dim-looking, but, in reality, very keen eyes.
Polozov ate thoughtfully, drank carefully, and only occasionally glanced first at his wife, then at Sanin, with his light, dull-looking, but actually very sharp eyes.
“What a clever darling you are!” cried Maria Nikolaevna, turning to him; “how well you carried out all my commissions in Frankfort! I could give you a kiss on your forehead for it, but you’re not very keen after kisses.”
“What a clever darling you are!” Maria Nikolaevna exclaimed, turning to him; “you did such a great job with all my errands in Frankfurt! I could give you a kiss on your forehead for it, but you’re not really into kisses.”
“I’m not,” responded Polozov, and he cut a pine-apple with a silver knife.
“I’m not,” Polozov replied, cutting a pineapple with a silver knife.
Maria Nikolaevna looked at him and drummed with her fingers on the table. “So our bet’s on, isn’t it?” she said significantly.
Maria Nikolaevna looked at him and tapped her fingers on the table. “So our bet is on, right?” she said with meaning.
“Yes, it’s on.”
"Yes, it's on."
“All right. You’ll lose it.”
"Okay. You’ll lose it."
Polozov stuck out his chin. “Well, this time you mustn’t be too sanguine, Maria Nikolaevna, maybe you will lose.”
Polozov stuck out his chin. “Well, this time you shouldn’t be too optimistic, Maria Nikolaevna, you might lose.”
“What is the bet? May I know?” asked Sanin.
“What’s the bet? Can I know?” asked Sanin.
“No … not now,” answered Maria Nikolaevna, and she laughed.
“No … not right now,” replied Maria Nikolaevna, and she laughed.
It struck seven. The waiter announced that the carriage was ready. Polozov saw his wife out, and at once waddled back to his easy-chair.
It was seven o'clock. The waiter said the carriage was ready. Polozov saw his wife out, then waddled back to his easy chair.
“Mind now! Don’t forget the letter to the overseer,” Maria Nikolaevna shouted to him from the hall.
“Hey! Don’t forget the letter to the supervisor,” Maria Nikolaevna shouted to him from the hallway.
“I’ll write, don’t worry yourself. I’m a business-like person.”
“I’ll write, don’t worry. I’m a business-minded person.”
XXXIX
In the year 1840, the theatre at Wiesbaden was a poor affair even externally, and its company, for affected and pitiful mediocrity, for studious and vulgar commonplaceness, not one hair’s-breadth above the level, which might be regarded up to now as the normal one in all German theatres, and which has been displayed in perfection lately by the company in Carlsruhe, under the “illustrious” direction of Herr Devrient. At the back of the box taken for her “Serenity Madame von Polozov” (how the waiter devised the means of getting it, God knows, he can hardly have really bribed the stadt-director!) was a little room, with sofas all round it; before she went into the box, Maria Nikolaevna asked Sanin to draw up the screen that shut the box off from the theatre.
In 1840, the theater in Wiesbaden was pretty shabby, even from the outside, and its acting company was stuck in a cycle of pretentious and pitiful mediocrity, landing right at the same level that’s generally expected in all German theaters. This had recently been perfectly demonstrated by the company in Karlsruhe, under the "illustrious" direction of Herr Devrient. At the back of the box reserved for her "Serenity Madame von Polozov" (how the waiter managed to get it, who knows; he must not have really bribed the city director!), there was a small room with sofas all around it. Before she entered the box, Maria Nikolaevna asked Sanin to pull up the screen that separated the box from the theater.
“I don’t want to be seen,” she said, “or else they’ll be swarming round directly, you know.” She made him sit down beside her with his back to the house so that the box seemed to be empty. The orchestra played the overture from the Marriage of Figaro. The curtain rose, the play began.
“I don’t want to be seen,” she said, “or else they’ll start gathering around right away, you know.” She made him sit down next to her with his back to the house so that the box looked empty. The orchestra played the overture from the Marriage of Figaro. The curtain rose, and the play started.
It was one of those numerous home-raised products in which well-read but talentless authors, in choice, but dead language, studiously and cautiously enunciated some “profound” or “vital and palpitating” idea, portrayed a so-called tragic conflict, and produced dulness … an Asiatic dulness, like Asiatic cholera. Maria Nikolaevna listened patiently to half an act, but when the first lover, discovering the treachery of his mistress (he was dressed in a cinnamon-coloured coat with “puffs” and a plush collar, a striped waistcoat with mother-of-pearl buttons, green trousers with straps of varnished leather, and white chamois leather gloves), when this lover pressed both fists to his bosom, and poking his two elbows out at an acute angle, howled like a dog, Maria Nikolaevna could not stand it.
It was one of those countless amateur productions where well-read but talentless writers, in a fancy but outdated style, carefully and deliberately expressed some “deep” or “essential” idea, showcased a so-called tragic conflict, and ended up creating boredom... an unbearable boredom, like severe fatigue. Maria Nikolaevna listened patiently to half of the act, but when the first lover, finding out that his mistress had betrayed him (he was wearing a cinnamon-colored coat with "puffs" and a plush collar, a striped waistcoat with mother-of-pearl buttons, green trousers with shiny leather straps, and white chamois leather gloves), when this lover pressed both fists to his chest and, sticking his elbows out at a sharp angle, howled like a dog, Maria Nikolaevna couldn't take it anymore.
“The humblest French actor in the humblest little provincial town acts better and more naturally than the highest German celebrity,” she cried in indignation; and she moved away and sat down in the little room at the back. “Come here,” she said to Sanin, patting the sofa beside her. “Let’s talk.”
“The most ordinary French actor in the smallest provincial town performs better and more naturally than the biggest German star,” she exclaimed in anger, and then she walked away and sat down in the little room at the back. “Come here,” she said to Sanin, patting the sofa beside her. “Let’s talk.”
Sanin obeyed.
Sanin complied.
Maria Nikolaevna glanced at him. “Ah, I see you’re as soft as silk! Your wife will have an easy time of it with you. That buffoon,” she went on, pointing with her fan towards the howling actor (he was acting the part of a tutor), “reminded me of my young days; I, too, was in love with a teacher. It was my first … no, my second passion. The first time I fell in love with a young monk of the Don monastery. I was twelve years old. I only saw him on Sundays. He used to wear a short velvet cassock, smelt of lavender water, and as he made his way through the crowd with the censer, used to say to the ladies in French, ‘Pardon, excusez’ but never lifted his eyes, and he had eyelashes like that!” Maria Nikolaevna marked off with the nail of her middle finger quite half the length of the little finger and showed Sanin. “My tutor was called—Monsieur Gaston! I must tell you he was an awfully learned and very severe person, a Swiss,—and with such an energetic face! Whiskers black as pitch, a Greek profile, and lips that looked like cast iron! I was afraid of him! He was the only man I have ever been afraid of in my life. He was tutor to my brother, who died … was drowned. A gipsy woman has foretold a violent death for me too, but that’s all moonshine. I don’t believe in it. Only fancy Ippolit Sidoritch with a dagger!”
Maria Nikolaevna looked at him. “Ah, I see you’re as soft as silk! Your wife will have it easy with you. That clown,” she continued, pointing with her fan at the howling actor (he was playing the role of a tutor), “reminds me of my younger days; I was in love with a teacher too. It was my first … no, my second crush. The first time I fell for a young monk at the Don monastery. I was twelve. I only saw him on Sundays. He wore a short velvet robe, smelled of lavender water, and as he walked through the crowd with the censer, he would say to the ladies in French, ‘Pardon, excusez’ but never looked up, and he had eyelashes like that!” Maria Nikolaevna demonstrated with her middle finger how long they were, almost half the length of her little finger, and showed Sanin. “My tutor was named—Monsieur Gaston! I must say he was incredibly knowledgeable and very strict, a Swiss man—with such a striking face! Black whiskers, a Greek profile, and lips that looked like cast iron! I was scared of him! He was the only man I’ve ever been afraid of in my life. He taught my brother, who died … he drowned. A gypsy woman predicted a violent death for me too, but that’s just nonsense. I don’t believe in it. Just imagine Ippolit Sidoritch with a dagger!”
“One may die from something else than a dagger,” observed Sanin.
“One can die from something other than a dagger,” Sanin noted.
“All that’s moonshine! Are you superstitious? I’m not a bit. What is to be, will be. Monsieur Gaston used to live in our house, in the room over my head. Sometimes I’d wake up at night and hear his footstep—he used to go to bed very late—and my heart would stand still with veneration, or some other feeling. My father could hardly read and write himself, but he gave us an excellent education. Do you know, I learnt Latin!”
“All that’s nonsense! Are you superstitious? I'm not at all. What’s meant to happen will happen. Monsieur Gaston used to live in our house, in the room above me. Sometimes I’d wake up at night and hear his footsteps—he used to go to bed really late—and my heart would stop for a moment with respect, or some other feeling. My father could barely read and write himself, but he gave us a great education. You know, I learned Latin!”
“You? learnt Latin?”
"You? Learned Latin?"
“Yes; I did. Monsieur Gaston taught me. I read the Æneid with him. It’s a dull thing, but there are fine passages. Do you remember when Dido and Æneas are in the forest?…”
“Yes; I did. Monsieur Gaston taught me. I read the Æneid with him. It’s a boring book, but there are some great passages. Do you remember when Dido and Æneas are in the forest?…”
“Yes, yes, I remember,” Sanin answered hurriedly. He had long ago forgotten all his Latin, and had only very faint notions about the Æneid.
“Yes, yes, I remember,” Sanin replied quickly. He had long since forgotten all his Latin and had only a vague idea about the Æneid.
Maria Nikolaevna glanced at him, as her way was, a little from one side and looking upwards. “Don’t imagine, though, that I am very learned. Mercy on us! no; I’m not learned, and I’ve no talents of any sort. I scarcely know how to write … really; I can’t read aloud; nor play the piano, nor draw, nor sew—nothing! That’s what I am—there you have me!”
Maria Nikolaevna looked at him, as she often did, a bit sideways and looking up. “But don’t think that I’m very educated. Goodness! No; I’m not educated, and I have no skills whatsoever. I hardly know how to write … honestly; I can’t read out loud, or play the piano, or draw, or sew—nothing! That’s just who I am—there you have it!”
She threw out her hands. “I tell you all this,” she said, “first, so as not to hear those fools (she pointed to the stage where at that instant the actor’s place was being filled by an actress, also howling, and also with her elbows projecting before her) and secondly, because I’m in your debt; you told me all about yourself yesterday.”
She threw her hands up. “I’m telling you all this,” she said, “first, so I don’t have to listen to those idiots” (she pointed to the stage where an actress was taking the actor's place, also shouting, with her elbows sticking out) “and second, because I owe you; you told me all about yourself yesterday.”
“It was your pleasure to question me,” observed Sanin.
“It was your pleasure to ask me,” noted Sanin.
Maria Nikolaevna suddenly turned to him. “And it’s not your pleasure to know just what sort of woman I am? I can’t wonder at it, though,” she went on, leaning back again on the sofa cushions. “A man just going to be married, and for love, and after a duel…. What thoughts could he have for anything else?”
Maria Nikolaevna suddenly turned to him. “Aren’t you curious about what kind of woman I am? I can't blame you, though,” she continued, leaning back on the sofa cushions. “A man who’s about to get married, and for love, and after a duel... What could he possibly think about except that?”
Maria Nikolaevna relapsed into dreamy silence, and began biting the handle of her fan with her big, but even, milkwhite teeth.
Maria Nikolaevna fell back into a dreamy silence and started biting the handle of her fan with her big, even, milk-white teeth.
And Sanin felt mounting to his head again that intoxication which he had not been able to get rid of for the last two days.
And Sanin felt that overwhelming intoxication creeping back into his head, something he hadn't been able to shake off for the last two days.
The conversation between him and Maria Nikolaevna was carried on in an undertone, almost in a whisper, and this irritated and disturbed him the more….
The conversation between him and Maria Nikolaevna was held in a low voice, almost a whisper, and this irritated and disturbed him even more….
When would it all end?
When will it all end?
Weak people never put an end to things themselves—they always wait for the end.
Weak people never take the initiative to finish things themselves—they always wait for someone else to do it.
Some one sneezed on the stage; this sneeze had been put into the play by the author as the “comic relief” or “element”; there was certainly no other comic element in it; and the audience made the most of it; they laughed.
Someone sneezed on stage; the author had included that sneeze in the play as the “comic relief” element; there was definitely no other humor in it; and the audience took full advantage of it; they laughed.
This laugh, too, jarred upon Sanin.
This laugh also grated on Sanin.
There were moments when he actually did not know whether he was furious or delighted, bored or amused. Oh, if Gemma could have seen him!
There were times when he honestly couldn't tell if he was angry or thrilled, bored or entertained. Oh, if Gemma could have seen him!
“It’s really curious,” Maria Nikolaevna began all at once. “A man informs one and in such a calm voice, ‘I am going to get married’; but no one calmly says to one, ‘I’m going to throw myself in the water.’ And yet what difference is there? It’s curious, really.”
“It’s really interesting,” Maria Nikolaevna suddenly said. “A guy tells you in such a calm voice, ‘I’m getting married’; but nobody calmly says, ‘I’m going to jump in the water.’ And yet, what’s the difference? It’s really interesting.”
Annoyance got the upper hand of Sanin. “There’s a great difference, Maria Nikolaevna! It’s not dreadful at all to throw oneself in the water if one can swim; and besides … as to the strangeness of marriages, if you come to that …”
Annoyance took over Sanin. “There’s a big difference, Maria Nikolaevna! It’s not scary at all to jump in the water if you can swim; and besides … regarding the weirdness of marriages, if you want to go there …”
He stopped short abruptly and bit his tongue.
He suddenly stopped and bit his tongue.
Maria Nikolaevna slapped her open hand with her fan.
Maria Nikolaevna smacked her open palm with her fan.
“Go on, Dimitri Pavlovitch, go on—I know what you were going to say. ‘If it comes to that, my dear madam, Maria Nikolaevna Polozov,’ you were going to say, ‘anything more curious than your marriage it would be impossible to conceive…. I know your husband well, from a child!’ That’s what you were going to say, you who can swim!”
“Go ahead, Dimitri Pavlovitch, go on—I know what you were going to say. ‘If it comes to that, my dear madam, Maria Nikolaevna Polozov,’ you were going to say, ‘it would be impossible to imagine anything more curious than your marriage…. I’ve known your husband since he was a kid!’ That’s what you were going to say, you who can swim!”
“Excuse me,” Sanin was beginning….
"Excuse me," Sanin started....
“Isn’t it the truth? Isn’t it the truth?” Maria Nikolaevna pronounced insistently.
“Isn’t that the truth? Isn’t that the truth?” Maria Nikolaevna said emphatically.
“Come, look me in the face and tell me I was wrong!”
“Come on, look me in the eye and tell me I was wrong!”
Sanin did not know what to do with his eyes. “Well, if you like; it’s the truth, if you absolutely insist upon it,” he said at last.
Sanin didn't know where to look. “Well, if that's what you want; it’s the truth, if you really insist on that,” he finally said.
Maria Nikolaevna shook her head. “Quite so, quite so. Well, and did you ask yourself, you who can swim, what could be the reason of such a strange … step on the part of a woman, not poor … and not a fool … and not ugly? All that does not interest you, perhaps, but no matter. I’ll tell you the reason not this minute, but directly the entr’acte is over. I am in continual uneasiness for fear some one should come in….”
Maria Nikolaevna shook her head. “Exactly, exactly. Well, did you ever wonder, you who can swim, what could possibly lead a woman who isn't poor, isn't foolish, and isn't unattractive to take such a strange … step? Maybe it doesn't interest you, but that's okay. I'll explain the reason, not right now, but as soon as the entr’acte is over. I'm constantly worried that someone might walk in….”
Maria Nikolaevna had hardly uttered this last word when the outer door actually was half opened, and into the box was thrust a head—red, oily, perspiring, still young, but toothless; with sleek long hair, a pendent nose, huge ears like a bat’s, with gold spectacles on inquisitive dull eyes, and a pince-nez over the spectacles. The head looked round, saw Maria Nikolaevna, gave a nasty grin, nodded…. A scraggy neck craned in after it….
Maria Nikolaevna had barely finished speaking when the outer door swung half open, and a head popped into the box—red, shiny, sweating, still young but missing teeth; with sleek long hair, a droopy nose, huge bat-like ears, wearing gold glasses over dull, curious eyes, and a pince-nez perched over the glasses. The head scanned the room, spotted Maria Nikolaevna, flashed a creepy grin, and nodded... A skinny neck leaned in after it...
Maria Nikolaevna shook her handkerchief at it. “I’m not at home! Ich bin nicht zu Hause, Herr P…! Ich bin nicht zu Hause…. Ksh-sk! ksh-sh-sh!”
Maria Nikolaevna waved her handkerchief at it. “I’m not home! Ich bin nicht zu Hause, Herr P…! Ich bin nicht zu Hause…. Ksh-sk! ksh-sh-sh!”
The head was disconcerted, gave a forced laugh, said with a sort of sob, in imitation of Liszt, at whose feet he had once reverently grovelled, “Sehr gut, sehr gut!” and vanished.
The boss was thrown off, let out a nervous laugh, and said with a bit of a cry, trying to mimic Liszt, at whose feet he had once humbly bowed, “Very good, very good!” and disappeared.
“What is that object?” inquired Sanin.
“What is that object?” Sanin asked.
“Oh, a Wiesbaden critic. A literary man or a flunkey, as you like. He is in the pay of a local speculator here, and so is bound to praise everything and be ecstatic over every one, though for his part he is soaked through and through with the nastiest venom, to which he does not dare to give vent. I am afraid he’s an awful scandalmonger; he’ll run at once to tell every one I’m in the theatre. Well, what does it matter?”
“Oh, a Wiesbaden critic. A literary guy or a lackey, take your pick. He's on the payroll of a local speculator here, so he has to praise everything and be thrilled about everyone, even though he's completely filled with the worst spite, which he doesn't dare to express. I'm worried he's a terrible gossip; he’ll immediately rush to tell everyone I'm at the theater. Well, what does it matter?”
The orchestra played through a waltz, the curtain floated up again…. The grimacing and whimpering began again on the stage.
The orchestra played a waltz, and the curtain lifted once more… The grimacing and whimpering started up again on stage.
“Well,” began Maria Nikolaevna, sinking again on to the sofa. “Since you are here and obliged to sit with me, instead of enjoying the society of your betrothed—don’t turn away your eyes and get cross—I understand you, and have promised already to let you go to the other end of the earth—but now hear my confession. Do you care to know what I like more than anything?”
“Well,” Maria Nikolaevna began, sinking back onto the sofa. “Since you’re here and stuck sitting with me instead of enjoying the company of your fiancé—don’t look away and get annoyed—I get you, and I’ve already promised to let you go to the other side of the world—but now listen to my confession. Do you want to know what I like more than anything?”
“Freedom,” hazarded Sanin.
"Freedom," guessed Sanin.
Maria Nikolaevna laid her hand on his hand.
Maria Nikolaevna put her hand on his hand.
“Yes, Dimitri Pavlovitch,” she said, and in her voice there was a note of something special, a sort of unmistakable sincerity and gravity, “freedom, more than all and before all. And don’t imagine I am boasting of this—there is nothing praiseworthy in it; only it’s so and always will be so with me to the day of my death. I suppose it must have been that I saw a great deal of slavery in my childhood and suffered enough from it. Yes, and Monsieur Gaston, my tutor, opened my eyes too. Now you can, perhaps, understand why I married Ippolit Sidoritch: with him I’m free, perfectly free as air, as the wind…. And I knew that before marriage; I knew that with him I should be a free Cossack!”
“Yes, Dimitri Pavlovitch,” she said, and in her voice there was a note of something special, a kind of unmistakable sincerity and seriousness, “freedom, more than anything and above everything. And don’t think I’m bragging about this—there’s nothing admirable about it; it’s just the way it is, and it always will be that way for me until the day I die. I guess it’s because I saw a lot of oppression in my childhood and experienced enough of it. Yes, and Monsieur Gaston, my tutor, also opened my eyes. Now you can probably understand why I married Ippolit Sidoritch: with him I’m free, completely free as the air, as the wind…. And I knew that even before marriage; I knew that with him I would be a free Cossack!”
Maria Nikolaevna paused and flung her fan aside.
Maria Nikolaevna paused and tossed her fan aside.
“I will tell you one thing more; I have no distaste for reflection … it’s amusing, and indeed our brains are given us for that; but on the consequences of what I do I never reflect, and if I suffer I don’t pity myself—not a little bit; it’s not worth it. I have a favourite saying: Cela ne tire pas à conséquence,—I don’t know how to say that in Russian. And after all, what does tire à consequence? I shan’t be asked to give an account of myself here, you see—in this world; and up there (she pointed upwards with her finger), well, up there—let them manage as best they can. When they come to judge me up there, I shall not be I! Are you listening to me? Aren’t you bored?”
“I’ll tell you one more thing; I don’t mind reflecting … it’s interesting, and really our brains are made for that; but I never think about the consequences of my actions, and if I suffer, I don’t feel sorry for myself—not at all; it’s not worth it. I have a favorite saying: Cela ne tire pas à conséquence—I don’t know how to say that in Russian. And really, what does tire à conséquence? I won’t have to explain myself here, you see—in this world; and up there (she pointed upwards with her finger), well, up there—let them figure it out themselves. When they come to judge me up there, I won't be I! Are you listening to me? Aren’t you bored?”
Sanin was sitting bent up. He raised his head. “I’m not at all bored, Maria Nikolaevna, and I am listening to you with curiosity. Only I … confess … I wonder why you say all this to me?”
Sanin was sitting hunched over. He lifted his head. “I’m not bored at all, Maria Nikolaevna, and I’m listening to you with interest. It’s just that… I have to admit… I’m curious why you’re telling me all this?”
Maria Nikolaevna edged a little away on the sofa.
Maria Nikolaevna scooted a bit to the side on the sofa.
“You wonder?… Are you slow to guess? Or so modest?”
"You wondering?… Are you slow to figure it out? Or just really modest?"
Sanin lifted his head higher than before.
Sanin raised his head higher than before.
“I tell you all this,” Maria Nikolaevna continued in an unmoved tone, which did not, however, at all correspond with the expression of her face, “because I like you very much; yes, don’t be surprised, I’m not joking; because since I have met you, it would be painful to me that you had a disagreeable recollection of me … not disagreeable even, that I shouldn’t mind, but untrue. That’s why I have made you come here, and am staying alone with you and talking to you so openly…. Yes, yes, openly. I’m not telling a lie. And observe, Dimitri Pavlovitch, I know you’re in love with another woman, that you’re going to be married to her…. Do justice to my disinterestedness! Though indeed it’s a good opportunity for you to say in your turn: Cela ne tire pas à conséquence!”
“I’m sharing all of this with you,” Maria Nikolaevna continued in a calm tone that didn’t quite match the look on her face, “because I really like you; yes, don’t be surprised, I’m not joking. Since we met, it would hurt me for you to have an unpleasant memory of me… not even unpleasant, that wouldn’t bother me, but false. That’s why I brought you here and am spending time alone with you and talking to you so openly... Yes, yes, openly. I’m not lying. And look, Dimitri Pavlovitch, I know you’re in love with another woman and that you’re planning to marry her… Appreciate my selflessness! Although, it’s a great chance for you to say in return: Cela ne tire pas à conséquence!”
She laughed, but her laugh suddenly broke off, and she stayed motionless, as though her own words had suddenly struck her, and in her eyes, usually so gay and bold, there was a gleam of something like timidity, even like sadness.
She laughed, but her laughter suddenly stopped, and she stood still, as if her own words had just hit her. In her eyes, which were usually so cheerful and confident, there was a spark of something like shyness, even sadness.
“Snake! ah, she’s a snake!” Sanin was thinking meanwhile; “but what a lovely snake!”
“Snake! Oh, she’s a snake!” Sanin was thinking at the same time; “but what a beautiful snake!”
“Give me my opera-glass,” Maria Nikolaevna said suddenly. “I want to see whether this jeune première really is so ugly. Upon my word, one might fancy the government appointed her in the interests of morality, so that the young men might not lose their heads over her.”
“Give me my opera glasses,” Maria Nikolaevna said suddenly. “I want to see if this jeune première is really that ugly. Honestly, you’d think the government put her here for the sake of morality, so the young men wouldn’t lose their heads over her.”
Sanin handed her the opera-glass, and as she took it from him, swiftly, but hardly audibly, she snatched his hand in both of hers.
Sanin handed her the binoculars, and as she grabbed them from him, quickly, but almost silently, she captured his hand with both of hers.
“Please don’t be serious,” she whispered with a smile. “Do you know what, no one can put fetters on me, but then you see I put no fetters on others. I love freedom, and I don’t acknowledge duties—not only for myself. Now move to one side a little, and let us listen to the play.”
“Please don’t be serious,” she whispered with a smile. “You know what? No one can hold me back, but I also don’t hold anyone back. I love freedom, and I don’t believe in obligations—not just for myself. Now, shift to the side a bit, and let’s listen to the play.”
Maria Nikolaevna turned her opera-glass upon the stage, and Sanin proceeded to look in the same direction, sitting beside her in the half dark of the box, and involuntarily drinking in the warmth and fragrance of her luxurious body, and as involuntarily turning over and over in his head all she had said during the evening—especially during the last minutes.
Maria Nikolaevna pointed her opera glasses at the stage, and Sanin followed her gaze, sitting next to her in the dim light of the box, unconsciously soaking in the warmth and scent of her elegant presence, and just as unconsciously replaying in his mind everything she had said throughout the evening—especially in the last few minutes.
XL
The play lasted over an hour longer, but Maria Nikolaevna and Sanin soon gave up looking at the stage. A conversation sprang up between them again, and went on the same lines as before; only this time Sanin was less silent. Inwardly he was angry with himself and with Maria Nikolaevna; he tried to prove to her all the inconsistency of her “theory,” as though she cared for theories! He began arguing with her, at which she was secretly rejoiced; if a man argues, it means that he is giving in or will give in. He had taken the bait, was giving way, had left off keeping shyly aloof! She retorted, laughed, agreed, mused dreamily, attacked him … and meanwhile his face and her face were close together, his eyes no longer avoided her eyes…. Those eyes of hers seemed to ramble, seemed to hover over his features, and he smiled in response to them—a smile of civility, but still a smile. It was so much gained for her that he had gone off into abstractions, that he was discoursing upon truth in personal relations, upon duty, the sacredness of love and marriage…. It is well known that these abstract propositions serve admirably as a beginning … as a starting-point….
The play went on for over an hour longer, but Maria Nikolaevna and Sanin quickly stopped watching the stage. They started talking again, and their conversation followed the same pattern as before; this time, though, Sanin was less quiet. Inside, he felt frustrated with himself and with Maria Nikolaevna; he tried to show her the flaws in her “theory,” as if she actually cared about theories! He began to argue with her, which secretly made her happy; if a man argues, it means he’s starting to give in or will give in. He had taken the bait, was capitulating, and had stopped keeping his distance! She countered, laughed, agreed, pondered dreamily, challenged him… and meanwhile, their faces were close together, and his eyes no longer avoided hers. Her eyes seemed to wander, hovering over his features, and he smiled back at her—a courteous smile, but still a smile. It was a significant win for her that he had drifted into abstract thoughts, talking about truth in personal relationships, about duty, the sacredness of love and marriage… It’s well-known that these abstract ideas work perfectly as a starting point… as a way to begin…
People who knew Maria Nikolaevna well used to maintain that when her strong and vigorous personality showed signs of something soft and modest, something almost of maidenly shamefacedness, though one wondered where she could have got it from … then … then, things were taking a dangerous turn.
People who knew Maria Nikolaevna well used to say that when her strong and lively personality revealed hints of something soft and modest, almost like a shy innocence, though it made one wonder where she could have gotten it from… then… then, things were starting to go dangerously wrong.
Things had apparently taken such a turn for Sanin…. He would have felt contempt for himself, if he could have succeeded in concentrating his attention for one instant; but he had not time to concentrate his mind nor to despise himself.
Things had clearly taken a turn for Sanin… He would have felt ashamed of himself if he could have focused his mind for even a moment; but he didn’t have the time to concentrate or to hate himself.
She wasted no time. And it all came from his being so very good-looking! One can but exclaim, No man knows what may be his making or his undoing!
She wasted no time. And it all came from him being so good-looking! One can only exclaim, No man knows what might be his making or his downfall!
The play was over. Maria Nikolaevna asked Sanin to put on her shawl and did not stir, while he wrapped the soft fabric round her really queenly shoulders. Then she took his arm, went out into the corridor, and almost cried out aloud. At the very door of the box Dönhof sprang up like some apparition; while behind his back she got a glimpse of the figure of the Wiesbaden critic. The “literary man’s” oily face was positively radiant with malignancy.
The play was over. Maria Nikolaevna asked Sanin to drape her shawl over her shoulders and stayed still while he wrapped the soft fabric around her truly regal shoulders. Then she took his arm, stepped into the corridor, and nearly cried out. Right at the door of the box, Dönhof jumped up like a ghost; behind him, she caught sight of the Wiesbaden critic. The "literary man's" greasy face was shining brightly with malice.
“Is it your wish, madam, that I find you your carriage?” said the young officer addressing Maria Nikolaevna with a quiver of ill-disguised fury in his voice.
“Do you want me to get your carriage, ma'am?” said the young officer, speaking to Maria Nikolaevna with a barely concealed anger in his voice.
“No, thank you,” she answered … “my man will find it. Stop!” she added in an imperious whisper, and rapidly withdrew drawing Sanin along with her.
“No, thanks,” she replied … “my guy will find it. Stop!” she added in a commanding whisper, and quickly pulled Sanin along with her.
“Go to the devil! Why are you staring at me?” Dönhof roared suddenly at the literary man. He had to vent his feelings upon some one!
“Go to hell! Why are you looking at me?” Dönhof suddenly shouted at the writer. He needed to let out his feelings on someone!
“Sehr gut! sehr gut!” muttered the literary man, and shuffled off.
“Very good! Very good!” muttered the literary guy, and shuffled off.
Maria Nikolaevna’s footman, waiting for her in the entrance, found her carriage in no time. She quickly took her seat in it; Sanin leapt in after her. The doors were slammed to, and Maria Nikolaevna exploded in a burst of laughter.
Maria Nikolaevna's footman, waiting for her at the entrance, found her carriage in no time. She quickly got in; Sanin jumped in after her. The doors were slammed shut, and Maria Nikolaevna burst into laughter.
“What are you laughing at?” Sanin inquired.
“What are you laughing at?” Sanin asked.
“Oh, excuse me, please … but it struck me: what if Dönhof were to have another duel with you … on my account…. wouldn’t that be wonderful?”
“Oh, excuse me, but it just hit me: what if Dönhof had another duel with you… because of me… wouldn’t that be amazing?”
“Are you very great friends with him?” Sanin asked.
“Are you really good friends with him?” Sanin asked.
“With him? that boy? He’s one of my followers. You needn’t trouble yourself about him!”
“With him? That kid? He’s one of my followers. You don’t need to worry about him!”
“Oh, I’m not troubling myself at all.”
“Oh, I’m not bothering myself at all.”
Maria Nikolaevna sighed. “Ah, I know you’re not. But listen, do you know what, you’re such a darling, you mustn’t refuse me one last request. Remember in three days’ time I am going to Paris, and you are returning to Frankfort…. Shall we ever meet again?”
Maria Nikolaevna sighed. “Ah, I know you’re not. But listen, you’re such a sweetheart, you can’t turn down one last request from me. Remember, in three days, I’m heading to Paris, and you’re going back to Frankfurt… Will we ever see each other again?”
“What is this request?”
"What's this request?"
“You can ride, of course?”
"Can you ride, of course?"
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“Well, then, to-morrow morning I’ll take you with me, and we’ll go a ride together out of the town. We’ll have splendid horses. Then we’ll come home, wind up our business, and amen! Don’t be surprised, don’t tell me it’s a caprice, and I’m a madcap—all that’s very likely—but simply say, I consent.”
“Well, then, tomorrow morning I’ll take you with me, and we’ll go for a ride out of town together. We’ll have amazing horses. Then we’ll come back, wrap up our business, and that’s it! Don’t be surprised, don’t tell me it’s just a whim, and that I’m being reckless—all that could be true—but just say, I agree.”
Maria Nikolaevna turned her face towards him. It was dark in the carriage, but her eyes glittered even in the darkness.
Maria Nikolaevna turned her face toward him. It was dark in the carriage, but her eyes sparkled even in the shadows.
“Very well, I consent,” said Sanin with a sigh.
“Alright, I agree,” Sanin said with a sigh.
“Ah! You sighed!” Maria Nikolaevna mimicked him. “That means to say, as you’ve begun, you must go on to the bitter end. But no, no…. You’re charming, you’re good, and I’ll keep my promise. Here’s my hand, without a glove on it, the right one, for business. Take it, and have faith in its pressure. What sort of a woman I am, I don’t know; but I’m an honest fellow, and one can do business with me.”
“Ah! You sighed!” Maria Nikolaevna teased him. “That means once you've started, you have to see it through to the bitter end. But no, no… You’re charming, you’re kind, and I’ll stick to my word. Here’s my hand, ungloved, the right one, for business. Take it, and trust its grip. What kind of woman I am, I’m not sure; but I’m straightforward, and you can do business with me.”
Sanin, without knowing very well what he was doing, lifted the hand to his lips. Maria Nikolaevna softly took it, and was suddenly still, and did not speak again till the carriage stopped.
Sanin, not entirely sure what he was doing, brought his hand to his lips. Maria Nikolaevna gently took it, and suddenly froze, not saying anything again until the carriage came to a stop.
She began getting out…. What was it? Sanin’s fancy? or did he really feel on his cheek a swift burning kiss?
She started to step out... What was it? Sanin's whim? Or did he actually feel a quick, burning kiss on his cheek?
“Till to-morrow!” whispered Maria Nikolaevna on the steps, in the light of the four tapers of a candelabrum, held up on her appearance by the gold-laced door-keeper. She kept her eyes cast down. “Till to-morrow!”
“See you tomorrow!” whispered Maria Nikolaevna on the steps, illuminated by the light of the four candles on a candelabrum, held up for her by the gold-laced doorman. She kept her gaze lowered. “See you tomorrow!”
When he got back to his room, Sanin found on the table a letter from Gemma. He felt a momentary dismay, and at once made haste to rejoice over it to disguise his dismay from himself. It consisted of a few lines. She was delighted at the “successful opening of negotiations,” advised him to be patient, and added that all at home were well, and were already rejoicing at the prospect of seeing him back again. Sanin felt the letter rather stiff, he took pen and paper, however … and threw it all aside again. “Why write? I shall be back myself to-morrow … it’s high time!”
When he returned to his room, Sanin found a letter from Gemma on the table. He felt a brief wave of disappointment but quickly tried to cheer himself up to hide that feeling. The letter was just a few lines long. She was thrilled about the “successful opening of negotiations,” told him to be patient, and mentioned that everyone back home was doing well and looking forward to seeing him again. Sanin found the letter a bit formal, but he picked up a pen and paper anyway… only to set them aside again. “Why write? I’ll be back myself tomorrow… it’s about time!”
He went to bed immediately, and tried to get to sleep as quickly as possible. If he had stayed up and remained on his legs, he would certainly have begun thinking about Gemma, and he was for some reason … ashamed to think of her. His conscience was stirring within him. But he consoled himself with the reflection that to-morrow it would all be over for ever, and he would take leave for good of this feather-brained lady, and would forget all this rotten idiocy!…
He went to bed right away and tried to fall asleep as fast as he could. If he had stayed up and on his feet, he definitely would have started thinking about Gemma, and for some reason, he felt... ashamed to think about her. His conscience was nagging at him. But he reassured himself with the thought that tomorrow it would all be over for good, and he would say goodbye to this airheaded woman and forget all this stupid nonsense!…
Weak people in their mental colloquies, eagerly make use of strong expressions.
Weak people in their inner conversations often use strong language.
Et puis … cela ne tire pas à conséquence!
And then... it doesn't really matter!
XLI
Such were Sanin’s thoughts, as he went to bed; but what he thought next morning when Maria Nikolaevna knocked impatiently at his door with the coral handle of her riding-whip, when he saw her in the doorway, with the train of a dark-blue riding habit over her arm, with a man’s small hat on her thickly coiled curls, with a veil thrown back over her shoulder, with a smile of invitation on her lips, in her eyes, over all her face—what he thought then—history does not record.
Such were Sanin’s thoughts as he went to bed; but what he thought the next morning when Maria Nikolaevna knocked impatiently at his door with the coral handle of her riding whip—when he saw her in the doorway, with the train of a dark blue riding habit over her arm, wearing a small man's hat on her thickly coiled curls, a veil tossed back over her shoulder, and a smile of invitation on her lips and in her eyes—what he thought then, history does not record.
“Well? are you ready?” rang out a joyous voice.
“Well? Are you ready?” rang out a joyful voice.
Sanin buttoned his coat, and took his hat in silence. Maria Nikolaevna flung him a bright look, nodded to him, and ran swiftly down the staircase. And he ran after her.
Sanin buttoned his coat and silently picked up his hat. Maria Nikolaevna gave him a bright look, nodded, and hurried down the stairs. He quickly followed her.
The horses were already waiting in the street at the steps. There were three of them, a golden chestnut thorough-bred mare, with a thin-lipped mouth, that showed the teeth, with black prominent eyes, and legs like a stag’s, rather thin but beautifully shaped, and full of fire and spirit, for Maria Nikolaevna; a big, powerful, rather thick-set horse, raven black all over, for Sanin; the third horse was destined for the groom. Maria Nikolaevna leaped adroitly on to her mare, who stamped and wheeled round, lifting her tail, and sinking on to her haunches. But Maria Nikolaevna, who was a first-rate horse-woman, reined her in; they had to take leave of Polozov, who in his inevitable fez and in an open dressing-gown, came out on to the balcony, and from there waved a batiste handkerchief, without the faintest smile, rather a frown, in fact, on his face. Sanin too mounted his horse; Maria Nikolaevna saluted Polozov with her whip, then gave her mare a lash with it on her arched and flat neck. The mare reared on her hind legs, made a dash forward, moving with a smart and shortened step, quivering in every sinew, biting the air and snorting abruptly. Sanin rode behind, and looked at Maria Nikolaevna; her slender supple figure, moulded by close-fitting but easy stays, swayed to and fro with self-confident grace and skill. She turned her head and beckoned him with her eyes alone. He came alongside of her.
The horses were already waiting in the street at the steps. There were three of them: a golden chestnut thoroughbred mare with a thin-lipped mouth that showed her teeth, prominent black eyes, and legs like a stag—rather thin but beautifully shaped, full of fire and spirit, meant for Maria Nikolaevna; a big, powerful, somewhat stocky horse, all raven black, for Sanin; and the third horse was for the groom. Maria Nikolaevna skillfully jumped onto her mare, who stomped and wheeled around, lifting her tail and sinking onto her haunches. But Maria Nikolaevna, being an excellent horsewoman, reined her in; they had to say goodbye to Polozov, who, in his usual fez and an open dressing gown, stepped out onto the balcony and waved a batiste handkerchief, not the slightest hint of a smile—actually, he looked quite frowning. Sanin also mounted his horse; Maria Nikolaevna saluted Polozov with her whip and then gave her mare a quick lash on her arched, flat neck. The mare reared up on her hind legs, lunged forward with a quick, shortened step, quivering in every muscle, biting the air and snorting suddenly. Sanin rode behind and watched Maria Nikolaevna; her slender, supple figure, shaped by close-fitting but comfortable stays, swayed back and forth with confident grace and skill. She turned her head and beckoned him with just her eyes. He rode up next to her.
“See now, how delightful it is,” she said. “I tell you at the last, before parting, you are charming, and you shan’t regret it.”
“Look now, how wonderful it is,” she said. “I’ll tell you in the end, before we part, you’re lovely, and you won’t regret it.”
As she uttered those last words, she nodded her head several times as if to confirm them and make him feel their full weight.
As she said those final words, she nodded her head several times, almost to confirm them and make him feel their full impact.
She seemed so happy that Sanin was simply astonished; her face even wore at times that sedate expression which children sometimes have when they are very … very much pleased.
She looked so happy that Sanin was completely amazed; her face even occasionally had that calm expression that kids sometimes get when they are really … really pleased.
They rode at a walking pace for the short distance to the city walls, but then started off at a vigorous gallop along the high road. It was magnificent, real summer weather; the wind blew in their faces, and sang and whistled sweetly in their ears. They felt very happy; the sense of youth, health and life, of free eager onward motion, gained possession of both; it grew stronger every instant.
They rode at a slow pace for the short distance to the city walls, but then took off at a fast gallop along the main road. The weather was beautiful, true summer weather; the wind blew in their faces and whistled sweetly in their ears. They felt really happy; the sense of youth, health, and life, of free and eager forward motion, took hold of both of them; it grew stronger with every moment.
Maria Nikolaevna reined in her mare, and again went at a walking pace; Sanin followed her example.
Maria Nikolaevna slowed her mare to a walk, and Sanin did the same.
“This,” she began with a deep blissful sigh, “this now is the only thing worth living for. When you succeed in doing what you want to, what seemed impossible—come, enjoy it, heart and soul, to the last drop!” She passed her hand across her throat. “And how good and kind one feels oneself then! I now, at this moment … how good I feel! I feel as if I could embrace the whole world! No, not the whole world…. That man now I couldn’t.” She pointed with her whip at a poorly dressed old man who was stealing along on one side. “But I am ready to make him happy. Here, take this,” she shouted loudly in German, and she flung a net purse at his feet. The heavy little bag (leather purses were not thought of at that time) fell with a ring on to the road. The old man was astounded, stood still, while Maria Nikolaevna chuckled, and put her mare into a gallop.
“This,” she started with a deep, joyful sigh, “this right now is the only thing worth living for. When you achieve what you want, what seemed impossible—come, enjoy it with all your heart and soul, to the very last drop!” She swept her hand across her throat. “And how good and kind you feel then! Right now … I feel so good! I feel like I could embrace the whole world! No, not the whole world… that man there, I couldn’t.” She pointed with her whip at a poorly dressed old man who was shuffling along on one side. “But I’m ready to make him happy. Here, take this,” she shouted loudly in German, and she threw a net purse at his feet. The heavy little bag (they didn’t have leather purses back then) landed with a clink on the road. The old man was shocked, stopped still, while Maria Nikolaevna laughed and urged her mare into a gallop.
“Do you enjoy riding so much?” Sanin asked, as he overtook her.
“Do you really enjoy riding that much?” Sanin asked, as he passed her.
Maria Nikolaevna reined her mare in once more: only in this way could she bring her to a stop.
Maria Nikolaevna pulled on the reins of her mare again: this was the only way she could get her to stop.
“I only wanted to get away from thanks. If any one thanks me, he spoils my pleasure. You see I didn’t do that for his sake, but for my own. How dare he thank me? I didn’t hear what you asked me.”
“I just wanted to escape from gratitude. If anyone thanks me, they ruin my enjoyment. You see, I didn’t do that for them, but for myself. How could they dare to thank me? I didn’t catch what you asked me.”
“I asked … I wanted to know what makes you so happy to-day.”
“I asked … I wanted to know what makes you so happy today.”
“Do you know what,” said Maria Nikolaevna; either she had again not heard Sanin’s question, or she did not consider it necessary to answer it. “I’m awfully sick of that groom, who sticks up there behind us, and most likely does nothing but wonder when we gentlefolks are going home again. How shall we get rid of him?” She hastily pulled a little pocket-book out of her pocket. “Send him back to the town with a note? No … that won’t do. Ah! I have it! What’s that in front of us? Isn’t it an inn?”
“Do you know what,” said Maria Nikolaevna; either she hadn’t heard Sanin’s question again, or she didn't think it was worth answering. “I’m really tired of that groom who’s just hanging out behind us, probably just wondering when we’re going home again. How can we get rid of him?” She quickly took a small wallet out of her pocket. “Should we send him back to town with a note? No… that won’t work. Ah! I’ve got it! What’s that ahead of us? Isn’t it an inn?”
Sanin looked in the direction she pointed. “Yes, I believe it is an inn.”
Sanin looked where she指ed. "Yeah, I think it's an inn."
“Well, that’s first-rate. I’ll tell him to stop at that inn and drink beer till we come back.”
“Well, that’s great. I’ll tell him to stop at that inn and drink beer until we get back.”
“But what will he think?”
“But what will he say?”
“What does it matter to us? Besides, he won’t think at all; he’ll drink beer—that’s all. Come, Sanin (it was the first time she had used his surname alone), on, gallop!”
“What does it matter to us? Besides, he won’t think at all; he’ll just drink beer—that’s it. Come on, Sanin (it was the first time she had used his last name alone), let’s go, gallop!”
When they reached the inn, Maria Nikolaevna called the groom up and told him what she wished of him. The groom, a man of English extraction and English temperament, raised his hand to the beak of his cap without a word, jumped off his horse, and took him by the bridle.
When they arrived at the inn, Maria Nikolaevna called the stable hand over and explained what she needed from him. The stable hand, a man of English descent and temperament, raised his hand to the brim of his cap without saying a word, jumped off his horse, and took it by the reins.
“Well, now we are free as the birds of the air!” cried Maria Nikolaevna. “Where shall we go. North, south, east, or west? Look—I’m like the Hungarian king at his coronation (she pointed her whip in each direction in turn). All is ours! No, do you know what: see, those glorious mountains—and that forest! Let’s go there, to the mountains, to the mountains!”
“Well, now we’re as free as birds!” exclaimed Maria Nikolaevna. “Where should we go? North, south, east, or west? Look—I’m like the Hungarian king at his coronation!” (She pointed her whip in each direction in turn.) “Everything is ours! No, you know what? Look at those amazing mountains—and that forest! Let’s go there, to the mountains, to the mountains!”
“In die Berge wo die Freiheit thront!”
In the mountains where freedom reigns!
She turned off the high-road and galloped along a narrow untrodden track, which certainly seemed to lead straight to the hills. Sanin galloped after her.
She took a turn off the main road and raced down a narrow, barely-used path that definitely appeared to head straight for the hills. Sanin hurried after her.
XLII
This track soon changed into a tiny footpath, and at last disappeared altogether, and was crossed by a stream. Sanin counselled turning back, but Maria Nikolaevna said, “No! I want to get to the mountains! Let’s go straight, as the birds fly,” and she made her mare leap the stream. Sanin leaped it too. Beyond the stream began a wide meadow, at first dry, then wet, and at last quite boggy; the water oozed up everywhere, and stood in pools in some places. Maria Nikolaevna rode her mare straight through these pools on purpose, laughed, and said, “Let’s be naughty children.”
This path quickly turned into a narrow footpath and eventually disappeared completely, crossing a stream. Sanin suggested turning back, but Maria Nikolaevna insisted, “No! I want to reach the mountains! Let’s go straight, like the birds do,” and she urged her mare to jump over the stream. Sanin jumped over it too. Beyond the stream was a wide meadow that started off dry, then became wet, and eventually turned into a muddy bog; water oozed up everywhere and formed pools in some spots. Maria Nikolaevna deliberately rode her mare straight through these pools, laughed, and said, “Let’s be naughty kids.”
“Do you know,” she asked Sanin, “what is meant by pool-hunting?”
“Do you know,” she asked Sanin, “what pool-hunting means?”
“Yes,” answered Sanin.
“Yeah,” replied Sanin.
“I had an uncle a huntsman,” she went on.
“I had an uncle who was a hunter,” she continued.
“I used to go out hunting with him—in the spring. It was delicious! Here we are now, on the pools with you. Only, I see, you’re a Russian, and yet mean to marry an Italian. Well, that’s your sorrow. What’s that? A stream again! Gee up!”
“I used to go hunting with him in the spring. It was amazing! Now here we are, at the ponds with you. But I see you’re Russian and plan to marry an Italian. Well, that’s your problem. What’s that? A stream again! Let’s go!”
The horse took the leap, but Maria Nikolaevna’s hat fell off her head, and her curls tumbled loose over her shoulders. Sanin was just going to get off his horse to pick up the hat, but she shouted to him, “Don’t touch it, I’ll get it myself,” bent low down from the saddle, hooked the handle of her whip into the veil, and actually did get the hat. She put it on her head, but did not fasten up her hair, and again darted off, positively holloaing. Sanin dashed along beside her, by her side leaped trenches, fences, brooks, fell in and scrambled out, flew down hill, flew up hill, and kept watching her face. What a face it was! It was all, as it were, wide open: wide-open eyes, eager, bright, and wild; lips, nostrils, open too, and breathing eagerly; she looked straight before her, and it seemed as though that soul longed to master everything it saw, the earth, the sky, the sun, the air itself; and would complain of one thing only—that dangers were so few, and all she could overcome. “Sanin!” she cried, “why, this is like Bürger’s Lenore! Only you’re not dead—eh? Not dead … I am alive!” She let her force and daring have full fling. It seemed not an Amazon on a galloping horse, but a young female centaur at full speed, half-beast and half-god, and the sober, well-bred country seemed astounded, as it was trampled underfoot in her wild riot!
The horse jumped, but Maria Nikolaevna’s hat fell off, and her curls spilled over her shoulders. Sanin was about to get off his horse to grab the hat, but she called out, “Don’t touch it, I’ll get it myself,” and leaned down from the saddle, hooked her whip handle into the veil, and actually managed to get the hat. She put it on her head but didn’t tie up her hair, and then took off again, shouting with excitement. Sanin raced alongside her, leaping over ditches, fences, and streams, falling and scrambling back up, rushing downhill and uphill, while keeping an eye on her face. What a face it was! It was all, in a way, wide open: wide-open eyes, eager, bright, and wild; her lips and nostrils were open too, breathing in excitement; she looked straight ahead, and it seemed as though her soul longed to conquer everything it saw—the earth, the sky, the sun, the air itself—and she could only complain that there were too few dangers to face and all she could handle. “Sanin!” she shouted, “this is just like Bürger’s Lenore! Only you’re not dead—right? Not dead … I am alive!” She fully embraced her strength and daring. It seemed less like an Amazon on a galloping horse and more like a young female centaur at full speed, half-beast and half-god, and the calm, well-mannered countryside appeared in awe as it was trampled beneath her wild spirit!
Maria Nikolaevna at last drew up her foaming and bespattered mare; she was staggering under her, and Sanin’s powerful but heavy horse was gasping for breath.
Maria Nikolaevna finally brought her foaming and splattered mare to a stop; she was swaying beneath her, and Sanin’s strong but heavy horse was panting for air.
“Well, do you like it?” Maria Nikolaevna asked in a sort of exquisite whisper.
“Well, do you like it?” Maria Nikolaevna asked in a kind of delicate whisper.
“I like it!” Sanin echoed back ecstatically. And his blood was on fire.
“I love it!” Sanin exclaimed happily. And his blood was on fire.
“This isn’t all, wait a bit.” She held out her hand. Her glove was torn across.
“This isn’t everything, just hold on a second.” She extended her hand. Her glove had a tear in it.
“I told you I would lead you to the forest, to the mountains…. Here they are, the mountains!” The mountains, covered with tall forest, rose about two hundred feet from the place they had reached in their wild ride. “Look, here is the road; let us turn into it—and forwards. Only at a walk. We must let our horses get their breath.”
“I told you I would take you to the forest, to the mountains…. Here they are, the mountains!” The mountains, covered with tall trees, rose about two hundred feet from where they had ended up on their wild ride. “Look, here’s the road; let’s turn onto it—and move forward. Just at a walk. We need to let our horses catch their breath.”
They rode on. With one vigorous sweep of her arm Maria Nikolaevna flung back her hair. Then she looked at her gloves and took them off. “My hands will smell of leather,” she said, “you won’t mind that, eh?” … Maria Nikolaevna smiled, and Sanin smiled too. Their mad gallop together seemed to have finally brought them together and made them friends.
They kept riding. With a swift motion, Maria Nikolaevna tossed her hair back. Then she checked her gloves and took them off. “My hands are going to smell like leather,” she said, “you don’t mind that, right?” … Maria Nikolaevna smiled, and Sanin smiled back. Their wild ride together seemed to have brought them closer and turned them into friends.
“How old are you?” she asked suddenly.
“How old are you?” she asked out of the blue.
“Twenty-two.”
"22."
“Really? I’m twenty-two too. A nice age. Add both together and you’re still far off old age. It’s hot, though. Am I very red, eh?”
“Really? I’m also twenty-two. A great age. If you add both together, you're still nowhere near old age. It’s hot, though. Am I really that red, huh?”
“Like a poppy!”
“Like a flower!”
Maria Nikolaevna rubbed her face with her handkerchief. “We’ve only to get to the forest and there it will be cool. Such an old forest is like an old friend. Have you any friends?”
Maria Nikolaevna wiped her face with her handkerchief. “We just need to reach the forest, and it will be cool there. An old forest is like an old friend. Do you have any friends?”
Sanin thought a little. “Yes … only few. No real ones.”
Sanin thought for a moment. “Yeah ... just a few. None that are genuine.”
“I have; real ones—but not old ones. This is a friend too—a horse. How carefully it carries one! Ah, but it’s splendid here! Is it possible I am going to Paris the day after to-morrow?”
“I have real ones—but not old ones. This is a friend too—a horse. How carefully it carries me! Ah, but it’s amazing here! Is it possible I am going to Paris the day after tomorrow?”
“Yes … is it possible?” Sanin chimed in.
“Yes … is that possible?” Sanin chimed in.
“And you to Frankfort?”
"And you going to Frankfurt?"
“I am certainly going to Frankfort.”
"I'm definitely going to Frankfurt."
“Well, what of it? Good luck go with you! Anyway, to-day’s ours … ours … ours!”
“Well, so what? Good luck to you! Anyway, today is ours … ours … ours!”
The horses reached the forest’s edge and pushed on into the forest. The broad soft shade of the forest wrapt them round on all sides.
The horses arrived at the edge of the forest and moved deeper into it. The wide, soft shade of the trees enveloped them completely.
“Oh, but this is paradise!” cried Maria Nikolaevna. “Further, deeper into the shade, Sanin!”
“Oh, but this is paradise!” exclaimed Maria Nikolaevna. “Keep going, deeper into the shade, Sanin!”
The horses moved slowly on, “deeper into the shade,” slightly swaying and snorting. The path, by which they had come in, suddenly turned off and plunged into a rather narrow gorge. The smell of heather and bracken, of the resin of the pines, and the decaying leaves of last year, seemed to hang, close and drowsy, about it. Through the clefts of the big brown rocks came strong currents of fresh air. On both sides of the path rose round hillocks covered with green moss.
The horses moved slowly on, “deeper into the shade,” gently swaying and snorting. The path they had taken suddenly veered off and dropped into a narrow gorge. The scent of heather and bracken, the resin from the pines, and the decaying leaves from last year hung in the air, thick and sleepy. Strong gusts of fresh air flowed through the gaps in the large brown rocks. On either side of the path, round hillocks covered in green moss rose up.
“Stop!” cried Maria Nikolaevna, “I want to sit down and rest on this velvet. Help me to get off.”
“Stop!” shouted Maria Nikolaevna, “I want to sit down and rest on this velvet. Help me get off.”
Sanin leaped off his horse and ran up to her. She leaned on both his shoulders, sprang instantly to the ground, and seated herself on one of the mossy mounds. He stood before her, holding both the horses’ bridles in his hand.
Sanin jumped off his horse and ran over to her. She leaned on his shoulders, quickly jumped to the ground, and sat down on one of the mossy mounds. He stood in front of her, holding the bridles of both horses in his hands.
She lifted her eyes to him…. “Sanin, are you able to forget?”
She looked up at him… “Sanin, can you forget?”
Sanin recollected what had happened yesterday … in the carriage. “What is that—a question … or a reproach?”
Sanin remembered what happened yesterday in the carriage. “Is that a question or an accusation?”
“I have never in my life reproached any one for anything. Do you believe in magic?”
“I’ve never blamed anyone for anything in my life. Do you believe in magic?”
“What?”
"What?"
“In magic?—you know what is sung of in our ballads—our Russian peasant ballads?”
“In magic?—you know what is sung about in our ballads—our Russian peasant ballads?”
“Ah! That’s what you’re speaking of,” Sanin said slowly.
“Ah! That’s what you mean,” Sanin said slowly.
“Yes, that’s it. I believe in it … and you will believe in it.”
“Yes, that’s it. I believe in it … and you will believe in it.”
“Magic is sorcery …” Sanin repeated, “Anything in the world is possible. I used not to believe in it—but I do now. I don’t know myself.”
“Magic is sorcery …” Sanin repeated, “Anything in the world is possible. I didn't used to believe in it—but I do now. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
Maria Nikolaevna thought a moment and looked about her. “I fancy this place seems familiar to me. Look, Sanin, behind that bushy oak—is there a red wooden cross, or not?”
Maria Nikolaevna paused for a moment and scanned her surroundings. “I feel like this place looks familiar to me. Look, Sanin, behind that thick oak—do you see a red wooden cross or not?”
Sanin moved a few steps to one side. “Yes, there is.” Maria Nikolaevna smiled. “Ah, that’s good! I know where we are. We haven’t got lost as yet. What’s that tapping? A wood-cutter?”
Sanin stepped aside. “Yes, there is.” Maria Nikolaevna smiled. “Oh, that’s great! I know where we are. We haven’t gotten lost yet. What’s that tapping? A woodcutter?”
Sanin looked into the thicket. “Yes … there’s a man there chopping up dry branches.”
Sanin looked into the bushes. “Yeah … there’s a guy over there chopping up dry branches.”
“I must put my hair to rights,” said Maria Nikolaevna. “Else he’ll see me and be shocked.” She took off her hat and began plaiting up her long hair, silently and seriously. Sanin stood facing her … All the lines of her graceful limbs could be clearly seen through the dark folds of her habit, dotted here and there with tufts of moss.
“I need to fix my hair,” said Maria Nikolaevna. “Otherwise, he’ll see me and be surprised.” She took off her hat and started braiding her long hair, quietly and earnestly. Sanin stood in front of her... The outline of her elegant limbs was clearly visible through the dark folds of her outfit, scattered with patches of moss.
One of the horses suddenly shook itself behind Sanin’s back; he himself started and trembled from head to foot. Everything was in confusion within him, his nerves were strung up like harpstrings. He might well say he did not know himself…. He really was bewitched. His whole being was filled full of one thing … one idea, one desire. Maria Nikolaevna turned a keen look upon him.
One of the horses suddenly shook itself behind Sanin, and he jumped, trembling all over. He felt completely out of sorts, his nerves were on edge. He could honestly say he didn’t recognize himself… he really felt mesmerized. His entire being was consumed by one thing… one idea, one desire. Maria Nikolaevna looked at him intently.
“Come, now everything’s as it should be,” she observed, putting on her hat. “Won’t you sit down? Here! No, wait a minute … don’t sit down! What’s that?”
“Come on, everything’s as it should be,” she said, putting on her hat. “Won’t you sit down? Here! No, hold on … don’t sit down! What’s that?”
Over the tree-tops, over the air of the forest, rolled a dull rumbling.
Over the tree-tops, through the air of the forest, came a low rumbling sound.
“Can it be thunder?”
"Could it be thunder?"
“I think it really is thunder,” answered Sanin.
“I think it really is thunder,” Sanin replied.
“Oh, this is a treat, a real treat! That was the only thing wanting!” The dull rumble was heard a second time, rose, and fell in a crash. “Bravo! Bis! Do you remember I spoke of the Æneid yesterday? They too were overtaken by a storm in the forest, you know. We must be off, though.” She rose swiftly to her feet. “Bring me my horse…. Give me your hand. There, so. I’m not heavy.”
“Oh, this is amazing, a real delight! That was the only thing missing!” The dull rumble was heard a second time, rising and falling in a crash. “Bravo! Again! Do you remember I mentioned the Æneid yesterday? They also got caught in a storm in the forest, you know. But we should get going.” She quickly stood up. “Bring me my horse…. Give me your hand. There, see? I’m not that heavy.”
She hopped like a bird into the saddle. Sanin too mounted his horse.
She jumped into the saddle like a bird. Sanin also got on his horse.
“Are you going home?” he asked in an unsteady voice.
“Are you going home?” he asked in a shaky voice.
“Home indeed!” she answered deliberately and picked up the reins. “Follow me,” she commanded almost roughly. She came out on to the road and passing the red cross, rode down into a hollow, clambered up again to a cross road, turned to the right and again up the mountainside…. She obviously knew where the path led, and the path led farther and farther into the heart of the forest. She said nothing and did not look round; she moved imperiously in front and humbly and submissively he followed without a spark of will in his sinking heart. Rain began to fall in spots. She quickened her horse’s pace, and he did not linger behind her. At last through the dark green of the young firs under an overhanging grey rock, a tumbledown little hut peeped out at him, with a low door in its wattle wall…. Maria Nikolaevna made her mare push through the fir bushes, leaped off her, and appearing suddenly at the entrance to the hut, turned to Sanin, and whispered “Æneas.”
“Home for sure!” she said deliberately as she grabbed the reins. “Follow me,” she commanded almost harshly. She stepped onto the road, passed the red cross, rode down into a low area, climbed back up to a crossroad, turned right, and continued up the mountainside… She clearly knew where the path was leading, and it went deeper into the heart of the forest. She didn’t say a word and didn’t look back; she moved with authority ahead, and he followed humbly and submissively, with no will left in his sinking heart. Spots of rain began to fall. She urged her horse to pick up speed, and he didn’t lag behind her. Finally, through the dark green of the young firs beneath an overhanging gray rock, a dilapidated little hut peeked out at him, with a low door in its wattle wall… Maria Nikolaevna urged her mare through the fir bushes, jumped off, and suddenly appearing at the entrance of the hut, turned to Sanin and whispered, “Æneas.”
Four hours later, Maria Nikolaevna and Sanin, accompanied by the groom, who was nodding in the saddle, returned to Wiesbaden, to the hotel. Polozov met his wife with the letter to the overseer in his hand. After staring rather intently at her, he showed signs of some displeasure on his face, and even muttered, “You don’t mean to say you’ve won your bet?”
Four hours later, Maria Nikolaevna and Sanin, along with the groom who was dozing in the saddle, returned to Wiesbaden, to the hotel. Polozov greeted his wife with the overseer's letter in his hand. After looking at her closely, he showed some signs of displeasure on his face and even murmured, “You can't be serious that you won your bet?”
Maria Nikolaevna simply shrugged her shoulders.
Maria Nikolaevna just shrugged.
The same day, two hours later, Sanin was standing in his own room before her, like one distraught, ruined….
The same day, two hours later, Sanin was standing in his own room before her, looking completely distraught and broken....
“Where are you going, dear?” she asked him. “To Paris, or to Frankfort?”
“Where are you going, sweetheart?” she asked him. “To Paris, or to Frankfurt?”
“I am going where you will be, and will be with you till you drive me away,” he answered with despair and pressed close to him the hands of his sovereign. She freed her hands, laid them on his head, and clutched at his hair with her fingers. She slowly turned over and twisted the unresisting hair, drew herself up, her lips curled with triumph, while her eyes, wide and clear, almost white, expressed nothing but the ruthlessness and glutted joy of conquest. The hawk, as it clutches a captured bird, has eyes like that.
“I’m going where you will be, and I’ll stay with you until you send me away,” he replied, filled with despair, and pressed his sovereign’s hands tightly. She pulled her hands free, placed them on his head, and ran her fingers through his hair. She slowly twisted the soft hair, straightened up, her lips curling in triumph, while her eyes, wide and clear, almost white, showed nothing but a ruthless and overwhelming joy of victory. The hawk, as it grips a caught bird, has eyes like that.
XLIII
This was what Dimitri Sanin remembered when in the stillness of his room turning over his old papers he found among them a garnet cross. The events we have described rose clearly and consecutively before his mental vision…. But when he reached the moment when he addressed that humiliating prayer to Madame Polozov, when he grovelled at her feet, when his slavery began, he averted his gaze from the images he had evoked, he tried to recall no more. And not that his memory failed him, oh no! he knew only too well what followed upon that moment, but he was stifled by shame, even now, so many years after; he dreaded that feeling of self-contempt, which he knew for certain would overwhelm him, and like a torrent, flood all other feelings if he did not bid his memory be still. But try as he would to turn away from these memories, he could not stifle them entirely. He remembered the scoundrelly, tearful, lying, pitiful letter he had sent to Gemma, that never received an answer…. See her again, go back to her, after such falsehood, such treachery, no! no! he could not, so much conscience and honesty was left in him. Moreover, he had lost every trace of confidence in himself, every atom of self-respect; he dared not rely on himself for anything. Sanin recollected too how he had later on—oh, ignominy!—sent the Polozovs’ footman to Frankfort for his things, what cowardly terror he had felt, how he had had one thought only, to get away as soon as might be to Paris—to Paris; how in obedience to Maria Nikolaevna, he had humoured and tried to please Ippolit Sidoritch and been amiable to Dönhof, on whose finger he noticed just such an iron ring as Maria Nikolaevna had given him!!! Then followed memories still worse, more ignominious … the waiter hands him a visiting card, and on it is the name, “Pantaleone Cippatola, court singer to His Highness the Duke of Modena!” He hides from the old man, but cannot escape meeting him in the corridor, and a face of exasperation rises before him under an upstanding topknot of grey hair; the old eyes blaze like red-hot coals, and he hears menacing cries and curses: “Maledizione!” hears even the terrible words: “Codardo! Infame traditore!” Sanin closes his eyes, shakes his head, turns away again and again, but still he sees himself sitting in a travelling carriage on the narrow front seat … In the comfortable places facing the horses sit Maria Nikolaevna and Ippolit Sidoritch, the four horses trotting all together fly along the paved roads of Wiesbaden to Paris! to Paris! Ippolit Sidoritch is eating a pear which Sanin has peeled for him, while Maria Nikolaevna watches him and smiles at him, her bondslave, that smile he knows already, the smile of the proprietor, the slave-owner…. But, good God, out there at the corner of the street not far from the city walls, wasn’t it Pantaleone again, and who with him? Can it be Emilio? Yes, it was he, the enthusiastic devoted boy! Not long since his young face had been full of reverence before his hero, his ideal, but now his pale handsome face, so handsome that Maria Nikolaevna noticed him and poked her head out of the carriage window, that noble face is glowing with anger and contempt; his eyes, so like her eyes! are fastened upon Sanin, and the tightly compressed lips part to revile him….
This is what Dimitri Sanin remembered when he was alone in his room, sifting through his old papers and found a garnet cross among them. The events we’ve described came clearly and in order to his mind… But when he reached the moment he begged Madame Polozov for mercy, when he crawled at her feet, when his servitude began, he turned away from the images he had conjured up and tried not to remember anymore. Not that he couldn’t recall them, oh no! He knew all too well what happened next, but he was overwhelmed with shame even now, so many years later; he dreaded that self-hatred that he knew would engulf him like a flood, drowning out all other feelings if he didn’t force his memory to be quiet. But no matter how much he tried to divert his thoughts from these memories, he couldn’t completely suppress them. He recalled the deceitful, tearful, pathetic letter he had sent to Gemma, which never received a reply… See her again, return to her after such dishonesty, such betrayal? No! He couldn’t; he still had some conscience and honesty left in him. Besides, he had lost all confidence in himself, every bit of self-respect; he didn’t trust himself for anything. Sanin also remembered how later—oh, the shame!—he sent the Polozovs’ footman to Frankfurt for his belongings, how he felt cowardly fear, how his only thought was to escape as quickly as possible to Paris—to Paris; how, following Maria Nikolaevna’s instructions, he indulged and tried to please Ippolit Sidoritch and acted kindly to Dönhof, whose finger had an iron ring just like the one Maria Nikolaevna had given him!!! Then came even worse, more disgraceful memories… The waiter hands him a business card, and it reads, “Pantaleone Cippatola, court singer to His Highness the Duke of Modena!” He tries to hide from the old man but can’t avoid running into him in the hallway, and a furious face appears before him beneath a tuft of gray hair; the old eyes blaze like hot coals, and he hears threatening shouts and curses: “Maledizione!” hears even the terrible words: “Codardo! Infame traditore!” Sanin closes his eyes, shakes his head, turns away over and over, but still sees himself sitting in a carriage on the cramped front seat… In the comfortable seats across from the horses sit Maria Nikolaevna and Ippolit Sidoritch, and the four horses trot along the paved roads of Wiesbaden to Paris! To Paris! Ippolit Sidoritch is eating a pear that Sanin has peeled for him, while Maria Nikolaevna watches him and smiles at him, her servant; that smile he recognizes, the smile of a master, the slave owner… But, good God, at the corner of the street near the city walls, wasn’t that Pantaleone again, and who was with him? Could it be Emilio? Yes, it was him, the enthusiastic devoted boy! Not long ago, his young face was filled with admiration for his hero, his ideal, but now his pale, handsome face, so striking that Maria Nikolaevna noticed him and leaned out of the carriage window, that noble face is radiating anger and scorn; his eyes, so like her eyes! are fixed on Sanin, and his tightly pressed lips part to insult him…
And Pantaleone stretches out his hand and points Sanin out to Tartaglia standing near, and Tartaglia barks at Sanin, and the very bark of the faithful dog sounds like an unbearable reproach…. Hideous!
And Pantaleone reaches out his hand and points out Sanin to Tartaglia, who is standing nearby, and Tartaglia barks at Sanin, and the very bark of the loyal dog sounds like an intolerable accusation…. Terrible!
And then, the life in Paris, and all the humiliations, all the loathsome tortures of the slave, who dare not be jealous or complain, and who is cast aside at last, like a worn-out garment….
And then, life in Paris, with all the humiliations, all the disgusting tortures of the slave, who can’t be jealous or complain, and who ends up being discarded like an old piece of clothing….
Then the going home to his own country, the poisoned, the devastated life, the petty interests and petty cares, bitter and fruitless regret, and as bitter and fruitless apathy, a punishment not apparent, but of every minute, continuous, like some trivial but incurable disease, the payment farthing by farthing of the debt, which can never be settled….
Then going home to his own country, the poisoned, devastated life, the small interests and small worries, bitter and pointless regret, and just as bitter and pointless apathy, a punishment not obvious, but felt every minute, continuous, like some minor but incurable disease, the payment little by little of a debt that can never be settled….
The cup was full enough.
The cup was full.
How had the garnet cross given Sanin by Gemma existed till now, why had he not sent it back, how had it happened that he had never come across it till that day? A long, long while he sat deep in thought, and taught as he was by the experience of so many years, he still could not comprehend how he could have deserted Gemma, so tenderly and passionately loved, for a woman he did not love at all…. Next day he surprised all his friends and acquaintances by announcing that he was going abroad.
How had the garnet cross that Gemma gave Sanin existed until now? Why hadn’t he sent it back? How was it possible that he had never come across it until that day? He sat deep in thought for a long time, and despite being taught by so many years of experience, he still couldn't understand how he could have left Gemma, whom he had loved so tenderly and passionately, for a woman he didn't love at all... The next day, he surprised all his friends and acquaintances by announcing that he was going abroad.
The surprise was general in society. Sanin was leaving Petersburg, in the middle of the winter, after having only just taken and furnished a capital flat, and having even secured seats for all the performances of the Italian Opera, in which Madame Patti … Patti, herself, herself, was to take part! His friends and acquaintances wondered; but it is not human nature as a rule to be interested long in other people’s affairs, and when Sanin set off for abroad, none came to the railway station to see him off but a French tailor, and he only in the hope of securing an unpaid account “pour un saute-en-barque en velours noir tout à fait chic.”
The surprise was widespread in the community. Sanin was leaving Petersburg in the middle of winter, right after he had just rented and furnished a great apartment, and even managed to get tickets for all the performances of the Italian Opera, where Madame Patti … Patti herself was going to perform! His friends and acquaintances were puzzled; but generally, people aren't very interested for long in others' lives, and when Sanin departed for abroad, only a French tailor came to the train station to see him off, and he was there just hoping to settle an unpaid bill “pour un saute-en-barque en velours noir tout à fait chic.”
XLIV
Sanin told his friends he was going abroad, but he did not say where exactly: the reader will readily conjecture that he made straight for Frankfort. Thanks to the general extension of railways, on the fourth day after leaving Petersburg he was there. He had not visited the place since 1840. The hotel, the White Swan, was standing in its old place and still flourishing, though no longer regarded as first class. The Zeile, the principal street of Frankfort was little changed, but there was not only no trace of Signora Roselli’s house, the very street in which it stood had disappeared. Sanin wandered like a man in a dream about the places once so familiar, and recognised nothing; the old buildings had vanished; they were replaced by new streets of huge continuous houses and fine villas; even the public garden, where that last interview with Gemma had taken place, had so grown up and altered that Sanin wondered if it really were the same garden. What was he to do? How and where could he get information? Thirty years, no little thing! had passed since those days. No one to whom he applied had even heard of the name Roselli; the hotel-keeper advised him to have recourse to the public library, there, he told him, he would find all the old newspapers, but what good he would get from that, the hotel-keeper owned he didn’t see. Sanin in despair made inquiries about Herr Klüber. That name the hotel-keeper knew well, but there too no success awaited him. The elegant shop-manager, after making much noise in the world and rising to the position of a capitalist, had speculated, was made bankrupt, and died in prison…. This piece of news did not, however, occasion Sanin the slightest regret. He was beginning to feel that his journey had been rather precipitate…. But, behold, one day, as he was turning over a Frankfort directory, he came on the name: Von Dönhof, retired major. He promptly took a carriage and drove to the address, though why was this Von Dönhof certain to be that Dönhof, and why even was the right Dönhof likely to be able to tell him any news of the Roselli family? No matter, a drowning man catches at straws.
Sanin told his friends he was going abroad, but he didn’t specify where exactly; it's easy for the reader to guess that he headed straight for Frankfurt. Thanks to the expansion of railways, he arrived there on the fourth day after leaving Petersburg. It had been since 1840 since he last visited. The hotel, the White Swan, was still in its old spot and thriving, though it was no longer considered top-tier. The Zeile, the main street of Frankfurt, had changed little, but there wasn’t a trace of Signora Roselli’s house; even the street it was on had vanished. Sanin wandered around the once-familiar places like a man in a dream, recognizing nothing; the old buildings had disappeared, replaced by new streets lined with large continuous houses and elegant villas. Even the public garden, where he had that last meeting with Gemma, had changed so much that he wondered if it was really the same garden. What was he supposed to do? How and where could he find information? Thirty years had passed since then—quite a long time! No one he asked had even heard of the name Roselli; the hotel owner suggested he check the public library, where he could find old newspapers, but he admitted he didn’t see how that would help. In despair, Sanin inquired about Herr Klüber. The hotel owner knew that name well, but there was no success there either. The stylish shop manager, who had made quite a name for himself and become a capitalist, had some misfortunes, went bankrupt, and died in prison… This news didn’t bother Sanin in the slightest. He was starting to feel that his trip had been a bit hasty… But then, one day, as he was flipping through a Frankfurt directory, he came across the name: Von Dönhof, retired major. He quickly hired a carriage and drove to the address, even though he questioned why this Von Dönhof was the right one and why the correct Dönhof would have any news about the Roselli family. Regardless, a drowning man grabs at straws.
Sanin found the retired major von Dönhof at home, and in the grey-haired gentleman who received him he recognised at once his adversary of bygone days. Dönhof knew him too, and was positively delighted to see him; he recalled to him his young days, the escapades of his youth. Sanin heard from him that the Roselli family had long, long ago emigrated to America, to New York; that Gemma had married a merchant; that he, Dönhof, had an acquaintance also a merchant, who would probably know her husband’s address, as he did a great deal of business with America. Sanin begged Dönhof to consult this friend, and, to his delight, Dönhof brought him the address of Gemma’s husband, Mr. Jeremy Slocum, New York, Broadway, No. 501. Only this address dated from the year 1863.
Sanin found the retired major von Dönhof at home, and in the gray-haired gentleman who received him, he immediately recognized his old rival from the past. Dönhof recognized him too and was genuinely pleased to see him; he reminded Sanin of his younger days and the antics of his youth. Sanin learned from him that the Roselli family had long ago moved to America, specifically New York; that Gemma had married a merchant; and that he, Dönhof, had a merchant acquaintance who would probably know her husband’s address since he did a lot of business with America. Sanin asked Dönhof to check with this friend, and to his delight, Dönhof provided him with the address of Gemma’s husband, Mr. Jeremy Slocum, New York, Broadway, No. 501. However, this address was from the year 1863.
“Let us hope,” cried Dönhof, “that our Frankfort belle is still alive and has not left New York! By the way,” he added, dropping his voice, “what about that Russian lady, who was staying, do you remember, about that time at Wiesbaden—Madame von Bo … von Bolozov, is she still living?”
“Let’s hope,” shouted Dönhof, “that our Frankfort beauty is still alive and hasn’t left New York! By the way,” he added, lowering his voice, “what about that Russian lady who was staying, do you remember, around that time in Wiesbaden—Madame von Bo … von Bolozov, is she still alive?”
“No,” answered Sanin, “she died long ago.” Dönhof looked up, but observing that Sanin had turned away and was frowning, he did not say another word, but took his leave.
“No,” Sanin replied, “she passed away a long time ago.” Dönhof looked up, but seeing that Sanin had turned away and was frowning, he didn’t say anything else and took his leave.
That same day Sanin sent a letter to Madame Gemma Slocum, at New York. In the letter he told her he was writing to her from Frankfort, where he had come solely with the object of finding traces of her, that he was very well aware that he was absolutely without a right to expect that she would answer his appeal; that he had not deserved her forgiveness, and could only hope that among happy surroundings she had long ago forgotten his existence. He added that he had made up his mind to recall himself to her memory in consequence of a chance circumstance which had too vividly brought back to him the images of the past; he described his life, solitary, childless, joyless; he implored her to understand the grounds that had induced him to address her, not to let him carry to the grave the bitter sense of his own wrongdoing, expiated long since by suffering, but never forgiven, and to make him happy with even the briefest news of her life in the new world to which she had gone away. “In writing one word to me,” so Sanin ended his letter, “you will be doing a good action worthy of your noble soul, and I shall thank you to my last breath. I am stopping here at the White Swan (he underlined those words) and shall wait, wait till spring, for your answer.”
That same day, Sanin sent a letter to Madame Gemma Slocum in New York. In the letter, he told her he was writing from Frankfurt, where he had come just to find traces of her. He was fully aware that he had no right to expect her to respond to his request; he hadn’t earned her forgiveness and could only hope that, in her happy life, she had long forgotten about him. He added that he felt compelled to remind her of him due to a chance event that had brought back memories of the past; he described his life as lonely, childless, and joyless. He begged her to understand why he reached out to her, asking her not to let him take to the grave the painful awareness of his past mistakes, which he had long since atoned for through suffering but had never been forgiven for. He asked her to make him happy, even with the briefest update about her life in the new world she had moved to. “By writing just one word to me,” Sanin ended his letter, “you would be doing a good deed worthy of your noble soul, and I would be grateful to my last breath. I’m staying here at the White Swan (he underlined those words) and will wait, wait until spring for your reply.”
He despatched this letter, and proceeded to wait. For six whole weeks he lived in the hotel, scarcely leaving his room, and resolutely seeing no one. No one could write to him from Russia nor from anywhere; and that just suited his mood; if a letter came addressed to him he would know at once that it was the one he was waiting for. He read from morning till evening, and not journals, but serious books—historical works. These prolonged studies, this stillness, this hidden life, like a snail in its shell, suited his spiritual condition to perfection; and for this, if nothing more, thanks to Gemma! But was she alive? Would she answer?
He sent off this letter and then waited. For six whole weeks, he stayed in the hotel, hardly leaving his room and determined not to see anyone. No one could write to him from Russia or anywhere else, which suited his mood perfectly; if a letter arrived for him, he would know immediately it was the one he had been waiting for. He read from morning until evening—not magazines, but serious books—historical works. This long reading, the stillness, and this secluded life, like a snail in its shell, were just right for his emotional state; and for that, if nothing else, he was grateful to Gemma! But was she alive? Would she respond?
At last a letter came, with an American postmark, from New York, addressed to him. The handwriting of the address on the envelope was English…. He did not recognise it, and there was a pang at his heart. He could not at once bring himself to break open the envelope. He glanced at the signature—Gemma! The tears positively gushed from his eyes: the mere fact that she signed her name, without a surname, was a pledge to him of reconciliation, of forgiveness! He unfolded the thin sheet of blue notepaper: a photograph slipped out. He made haste to pick it up—and was struck dumb with amazement: Gemma, Gemma living, young as he had known her thirty years ago! The same eyes, the same lips, the same form of the whole face! On the back of the photograph was written, “My daughter Mariana.” The whole letter was very kind and simple. Gemma thanked Sanin for not having hesitated to write to her, for having confidence in her; she did not conceal from him that she had passed some painful moments after his disappearance, but she added at once that for all that she considered—and had always considered—her meeting him as a happy thing, seeing that it was that meeting which had prevented her from becoming the wife of Mr. Klüber, and in that way, though indirectly, had led to her marriage with her husband, with whom she had now lived twenty-eight years, in perfect happiness, comfort, and prosperity; their house was known to every one in New York. Gemma informed Sanin that she was the mother of five children, four sons and one daughter, a girl of eighteen, engaged to be married, and her photograph she enclosed as she was generally considered very like her mother. The sorrowful news Gemma kept for the end of the letter. Frau Lenore had died in New York, where she had followed her daughter and son-in-law, but she had lived long enough to rejoice in her children’s happiness and to nurse her grandchildren. Pantaleone, too, had meant to come out to America, but he had died on the very eve of leaving Frankfort. “Emilio, our beloved, incomparable Emilio, died a glorious death for the freedom of his country in Sicily, where he was one of the ‘Thousand’ under the leadership of the great Garibaldi; we all bitterly lamented the loss of our priceless brother, but, even in the midst of our tears, we were proud of him—and shall always be proud of him—and hold his memory sacred! His lofty, disinterested soul was worthy of a martyr’s crown!” Then Gemma expressed her regret that Sanin’s life had apparently been so unsuccessful, wished him before everything peace and a tranquil spirit, and said that she would be very glad to see him again, though she realised how unlikely such a meeting was….
At last, a letter arrived with an American postmark from New York, addressed to him. The handwriting on the envelope was English. He didn’t recognize it, and a pang hit his heart. He couldn’t bring himself to open the envelope right away. He glanced at the signature—Gemma! Tears streamed down his face; the mere fact that she signed her name without a last name was a promise of reconciliation, of forgiveness! He unfolded the thin blue notepaper, and a photograph slipped out. He hurried to pick it up—and was speechless with amazement: Gemma, Gemma alive, looking as young as he had known her thirty years ago! The same eyes, the same lips, the same shape of her whole face! On the back of the photograph, it read, “My daughter Mariana.” The letter itself was very kind and straightforward. Gemma thanked Sanin for not hesitating to write to her and for having confidence in her. She didn’t hide that she had gone through some painful moments after his disappearance, but she immediately added that despite all that, she considered—and had always considered—her meeting with him a happy event, seeing that it had prevented her from becoming the wife of Mr. Klüber, and in that way, though indirectly, had led to her marriage with her husband, with whom she had now lived for twenty-eight years in perfect happiness, comfort, and prosperity; their home was known by everyone in New York. Gemma told Sanin that she was the mother of five children—four sons and one daughter, an eighteen-year-old girl who was engaged to be married. She included her photograph, as she was generally thought to look very much like her mother. The sad news Gemma kept for the end of the letter. Frau Lenore had passed away in New York, where she had followed her daughter and son-in-law, but she had lived long enough to take joy in her children’s happiness and to care for her grandchildren. Pantaleone had also intended to come to America, but he died just before leaving Frankfort. “Emilio, our beloved, incomparable Emilio, died a glorious death for the freedom of his country in Sicily, where he was one of the ‘Thousand’ under the great Garibaldi; we all mourned the loss of our priceless brother, but even among our tears, we were proud of him—and will always be proud of him—and will hold his memory sacred! His noble, selfless soul deserved a martyr’s crown!” Then Gemma expressed her regret that Sanin’s life seemed to have been unsuccessful, wished him peace and a calm spirit above all else, and mentioned that she would be very happy to see him again, though she understood how unlikely such a meeting was…
We will not attempt to describe the feelings Sanin experienced as he read this letter. For such feelings there is no satisfactory expression; they are too deep and too strong and too vague for any word. Only music could reproduce them.
We won't try to describe the emotions Sanin felt while reading this letter. There’s no perfect way to express those feelings; they are too deep, too intense, and too unclear for any words. Only music could capture them.
Sanin answered at once; and as a wedding gift to the young girl, sent to “Mariana Slocum, from an unknown friend,” a garnet cross, set in a magnificent pearl necklace. This present, costly as it was, did not ruin him; during the thirty years that had elapsed since his first visit to Frankfort, he had succeeded in accumulating a considerable fortune. Early in May he went back to Petersburg, but hardly for long. It is rumoured that he is selling all his lands and preparing to go to America.
Sanin replied right away and sent a wedding gift to the young girl: a garnet cross set in a beautiful pearl necklace, labeled “Mariana Slocum, from an unknown friend.” Although this gift was expensive, it didn’t break the bank; over the thirty years since his first trip to Frankfurt, he had managed to build up a significant fortune. He returned to Petersburg in early May, but it wasn’t for long. There are rumors that he’s selling all his properties and getting ready to move to America.
FIRST LOVE
The party had long ago broken up. The clock struck half-past twelve. There was left in the room only the master of the house and Sergei Nikolaevitch and Vladimir Petrovitch.
The party had ended a while ago. The clock chimed twelve-thirty. In the room, only the host, Sergei Nikolaevitch, and Vladimir Petrovitch remained.
The master of the house rang and ordered the remains of the supper to be cleared away. “And so it’s settled,” he observed, sitting back farther in his easy-chair and lighting a cigar; “each of us is to tell the story of his first love. It’s your turn, Sergei Nikolaevitch.”
The head of the house rang for the leftovers from dinner to be taken away. “So it’s decided,” he said, leaning back further in his comfy chair and lighting a cigar; “each of us will share the story of our first love. It’s your turn, Sergei Nikolaevitch.”
Sergei Nikolaevitch, a round little man with a plump, light-complexioned face, gazed first at the master of the house, then raised his eyes to the ceiling. “I had no first love,” he said at last; “I began with the second.”
Sergei Nikolaevitch, a short, chubby man with a fair, round face, looked first at the host, then lifted his gaze to the ceiling. “I never had a first love,” he finally said; “I started with the second.”
“How was that?”
"How was it?"
“It’s very simple. I was eighteen when I had my first flirtation with a charming young lady, but I courted her just as though it were nothing new to me; just as I courted others later on. To speak accurately, the first and last time I was in love was with my nurse when I was six years old; but that’s in the remote past. The details of our relations have slipped out of my memory, and even if I remembered them, whom could they interest?”
“It’s pretty straightforward. I was eighteen when I first flirted with a charming young woman, but I pursued her as if it were something I was used to; just like I did with others later on. To be precise, the first and only time I was in love was with my nurse when I was six years old; but that’s long gone. The details of our relationship have faded from my memory, and even if I did remember them, who would care?”
“Then how’s it to be?” began the master of the house. “There was nothing much of interest about my first love either; I never fell in love with any one till I met Anna Nikolaevna, now my wife,—and everything went as smoothly as possible with us; our parents arranged the match, we were very soon in love with each other, and got married without loss of time. My story can be told in a couple of words. I must confess, gentlemen, in bringing up the subject of first love, I reckoned upon you, I won’t say old, but no longer young, bachelors. Can’t you enliven us with something, Vladimir Petrovitch?”
“Then what’s the plan?” the host asked. “There wasn’t much interesting about my first love either; I didn’t fall in love with anyone until I met Anna Nikolaevna, who is now my wife—and everything went as smoothly as possible for us; our parents arranged the match, we quickly fell in love with each other, and we got married without delay. My story can be summed up in just a few words. I have to admit, gentlemen, that when I brought up the topic of first love, I was counting on you, I won’t say old, but no longer young, bachelors. Can’t you share something lively with us, Vladimir Petrovitch?”
“My first love, certainly, was not quite an ordinary one,” responded, with some reluctance, Vladimir Petrovitch, a man of forty, with black hair turning grey.
“My first love, for sure, wasn’t exactly typical,” replied, somewhat hesitantly, Vladimir Petrovitch, a forty-year-old man with black hair going grey.
“Ah!” said the master of the house and Sergei Nikolaevitch with one voice: “So much the better…. Tell us about it.”
“Ah!” said the master of the house and Sergei Nikolaevitch together: “That’s great... Tell us more about it.”
“If you wish it … or no; I won’t tell the story; I’m no hand at telling a story; I make it dry and brief, or spun out and affected. If you’ll allow me, I’ll write out all I remember and read it you.”
“If you want it … or not; I won’t tell the story; I’m not good at telling stories; I make it dry and brief, or long-winded and overdone. If you’re okay with that, I’ll write down everything I remember and read it to you.”
His friends at first would not agree, but Vladimir Petrovitch insisted on his own way. A fortnight later they were together again, and Vladimir Petrovitch kept his word.
His friends initially disagreed, but Vladimir Petrovitch insisted on his own way. Two weeks later, they were together again, and Vladimir Petrovitch fulfilled his promise.
His manuscript contained the following story:—
His manuscript included this story:—
I
I was sixteen then. It happened in the summer of 1833.
I was sixteen at that time. It happened in the summer of 1833.
I lived in Moscow with my parents. They had taken a country house for the summer near the Kalouga gate, facing the Neskutchny gardens. I was preparing for the university, but did not work much and was in no hurry.
I lived in Moscow with my parents. They had rented a summer house near the Kalouga gate, overlooking the Neskutchny gardens. I was getting ready for university, but I wasn’t studying much and didn’t feel rushed.
No one interfered with my freedom. I did what I liked, especially after parting with my last tutor, a Frenchman who had never been able to get used to the idea that he had fallen “like a bomb” (comme une bombe) into Russia, and would lie sluggishly in bed with an expression of exasperation on his face for days together. My father treated me with careless kindness; my mother scarcely noticed me, though she had no children except me; other cares completely absorbed her. My father, a man still young and very handsome, had married her from mercenary considerations; she was ten years older than he. My mother led a melancholy life; she was for ever agitated, jealous and angry, but not in my father’s presence; she was very much afraid of him, and he was severe, cold, and distant in his behaviour…. I have never seen a man more elaborately serene, self-confident, and commanding.
No one interfered with my freedom. I did what I wanted, especially after parting ways with my last tutor, a Frenchman who could never get used to the fact that he had landed “like a bomb” (comme une bombe) in Russia. He would lie around in bed for days with an exasperated look on his face. My father showed me a sort of careless kindness; my mother barely noticed me, even though I was her only child; other concerns completely consumed her. My father, who was still young and very handsome, had married her for practical reasons; she was ten years older than him. My mother led a sad life; she was always restless, jealous, and angry, although not in front of my father; she was very afraid of him, and he was strict, cold, and distant in his demeanor... I have never seen a man who seemed more serene, self-assured, and commanding.
I shall never forget the first weeks I spent at the country house. The weather was magnificent; we left town on the 9th of May, on St. Nicholas’s day. I used to walk about in our garden, in the Neskutchny gardens, and beyond the town gates; I would take some book with me—Keidanov’s Course, for instance—but I rarely looked into it, and more often than anything declaimed verses aloud; I knew a great deal of poetry by heart; my blood was in a ferment and my heart ached—so sweetly and absurdly; I was all hope and anticipation, was a little frightened of something, and full of wonder at everything, and was on the tiptoe of expectation; my imagination played continually, fluttering rapidly about the same fancies, like martins about a bell-tower at dawn; I dreamed, was sad, even wept; but through the tears and through the sadness, inspired by a musical verse, or the beauty of evening, shot up like grass in spring the delicious sense of youth and effervescent life.
I will never forget the first weeks I spent at the country house. The weather was amazing; we left the city on May 9th, on St. Nicholas’s day. I used to stroll around our garden, in the Neskutchny gardens, and beyond the town gates; I would bring a book with me—like Keidanov’s Course—but I rarely actually read it, and more often than not, I recited poetry out loud; I knew a lot of poems by heart; my blood was boiling with excitement and my heart ached—so sweetly and absurdly; I was full of hope and anticipation, a little scared of something, and amazed by everything, on the edge of my seat; my imagination was always running wild, fluttering around the same thoughts like swallows around a bell tower at dawn; I dreamed, felt sad, even cried; but even through the tears and the sadness, inspired by a beautiful verse or the lovely evening, the delightful feeling of youth and bubbling life sprang up like grass in spring.
I had a horse to ride; I used to saddle it myself and set off alone for long rides, break into a rapid gallop and fancy myself a knight at a tournament. How gaily the wind whistled in my ears! or turning my face towards the sky, I would absorb its shining radiance and blue into my soul, that opened wide to welcome it.
I had a horse to ride; I used to saddle it myself and head off alone for long rides, break into a fast gallop and imagine I was a knight in a tournament. How joyfully the wind whistled in my ears! And turning my face toward the sky, I would soak in its bright light and blue, which my soul eagerly welcomed.
I remember that at that time the image of woman, the vision of love, scarcely ever arose in definite shape in my brain; but in all I thought, in all I felt, lay hidden a half-conscious, shamefaced presentiment of something new, unutterably sweet, feminine….
I remember that back then, the image of a woman, the idea of love, hardly ever took a specific form in my mind; but in everything I thought and felt, there was a vague, shy sense of something new, incredibly sweet, and feminine…
This presentiment, this expectation, permeated my whole being; I breathed in it, it coursed through my veins with every drop of blood … it was destined to be soon fulfilled.
This feeling, this anticipation, filled my entire being; I inhaled it, it ran through my veins with every heartbeat... it was meant to be realized soon.
The place, where we settled for the summer, consisted of a wooden manor-house with columns and two small lodges; in the lodge on the left there was a tiny factory for the manufacture of cheap wall-papers…. I had more than once strolled that way to look at about a dozen thin and dishevelled boys with greasy smocks and worn faces, who were perpetually jumping on to wooden levers, that pressed down the square blocks of the press, and so by the weight of their feeble bodies struck off the variegated patterns of the wall-papers. The lodge on the right stood empty, and was to let. One day—three weeks after the 9th of May—the blinds in the windows of this lodge were drawn up, women’s faces appeared at them—some family had installed themselves in it. I remember the same day at dinner, my mother inquired of the butler who were our new neighbours, and hearing the name of the Princess Zasyekin, first observed with some respect, “Ah! a princess!” … and then added, “A poor one, I suppose?”
The place where we settled for the summer was a wooden manor house with columns and two small lodges. In the lodge on the left, there was a tiny factory that made cheap wallpaper. I had often walked by to see about a dozen thin, scruffy boys in greasy smocks with worn faces, who were constantly jumping onto wooden levers that pressed down the square blocks of the press, using their weak bodies to create the colorful patterns for the wallpaper. The lodge on the right was empty and available for rent. One day—three weeks after May 9th—the blinds in the windows of this lodge were pulled up, and women’s faces appeared. A family had moved in. I remember that same day at dinner, my mother asked the butler who our new neighbors were, and when she heard the name Princess Zasyekin, she first said with some respect, “Ah! A princess!” … and then added, “A poor one, I suppose?”
“They arrived in three hired flies,” the butler remarked deferentially, as he handed a dish: “they don’t keep their own carriage, and the furniture’s of the poorest.”
“They arrived in three rented flies,” the butler noted respectfully, as he handed over a dish: “they don’t have their own carriage, and the furniture is really shabby.”
“Ah,” replied my mother, “so much the better.”
“Ah,” my mother replied, “that’s even better.”
My father gave her a chilly glance; she was silent.
My dad shot her a cold look; she stayed quiet.
Certainly the Princess Zasyekin could not be a rich woman; the lodge she had taken was so dilapidated and small and low-pitched that people, even moderately well-off in the world, would hardly have consented to occupy it. At the time, however, all this went in at one ear and out at the other. The princely title had very little effect on me; I had just been reading Schiller’s Robbers.
Certainly, Princess Zasyekin couldn't be wealthy; the lodge she rented was so run-down, tiny, and low that even people who were reasonably well-off would hardly agree to stay there. At that moment, though, all of this went in one ear and out the other. The royal title didn't really impact me; I had just been reading Schiller’s Robbers.
II
I was in the habit of wandering about our garden every evening on the look-out for rooks. I had long cherished a hatred for those wary, sly, and rapacious birds. On the day of which I have been speaking, I went as usual into the garden, and after patrolling all the walks without success (the rooks knew me, and merely cawed spasmodically at a distance), I chanced to go close to the low fence which separated our domain from the narrow strip of garden stretching beyond the lodge to the right, and belonging to it. I was walking along, my eyes on the ground. Suddenly I heard a voice; I looked across the fence, and was thunder-struck…. I was confronted with a curious spectacle.
I had a routine of walking around our garden every evening, looking for rooks. I had always disliked those clever, crafty, and greedy birds. On the day I’m talking about, I went into the garden as usual, and after checking all the paths without any luck (the rooks recognized me and only cawed sporadically from a distance), I happened to walk close to the low fence that separated our property from the narrow strip of garden beyond the lodge to the right, which belonged to it. I was strolling along, focused on the ground. Suddenly, I heard a voice; I looked over the fence and was shocked.... I was met with a strange sight.
A few paces from me on the grass between the green raspberry bushes stood a tall slender girl in a striped pink dress, with a white kerchief on her head; four young men were close round her, and she was slapping them by turns on the forehead with those small grey flowers, the name of which I don’t know, though they are well known to children; the flowers form little bags, and burst open with a pop when you strike them against anything hard. The young men presented their foreheads so eagerly, and in the gestures of the girl (I saw her in profile), there was something so fascinating, imperious, caressing, mocking, and charming, that I almost cried out with admiration and delight, and would, I thought, have given everything in the world on the spot only to have had those exquisite fingers strike me on the forehead. My gun slipped on to the grass, I forgot everything, I devoured with my eyes the graceful shape and neck and lovely arms and the slightly disordered fair hair under the white kerchief, and the half-closed clever eye, and the eyelashes and the soft cheek beneath them….
A few steps away from me on the grass between the green raspberry bushes stood a tall, slender girl in a striped pink dress, with a white scarf on her head; four young men were gathered around her, and she was playfully slapping them on the forehead with those small gray flowers, the name of which I don’t know, though they're familiar to kids; the flowers form little bags and pop open when you hit them against something hard. The young men eagerly offered their foreheads, and there was something so captivating, commanding, affectionate, teasing, and charming in the girl’s gestures (I saw her from the side) that I almost shouted with admiration and joy, and I thought I would have given anything to have those beautiful fingers strike me on the forehead. My gun slipped onto the grass, I forgot everything, I drank in the sight of her graceful shape and neck, lovely arms, and slightly tousled fair hair under the white scarf, and her half-closed clever eye, and the eyelashes and the soft cheek beneath them…
“Young man, hey, young man,” said a voice suddenly near me: “is it quite permissible to stare so at unknown young ladies?”
“Young man, hey, young man,” a voice suddenly called out near me. “Is it totally okay to stare like that at strangers?”
I started, I was struck dumb…. Near me, the other side of the fence, stood a man with close-cropped black hair, looking ironically at me. At the same instant the girl too turned towards me…. I caught sight of big grey eyes in a bright mobile face, and the whole face suddenly quivered and laughed, there was a flash of white teeth, a droll lifting of the eyebrows…. I crimsoned, picked up my gun from the ground, and pursued by a musical but not ill-natured laugh, fled to my own room, flung myself on the bed, and hid my face in my hands. My heart was fairly leaping; I was greatly ashamed and overjoyed; I felt an excitement I had never known before.
I was taken aback…. Right next to me, on the other side of the fence, stood a man with short black hair, looking at me with a smirk. At the same moment, the girl turned to look at me too…. I noticed her big gray eyes on a lively face, and suddenly her entire face lit up and laughed, showing a flash of white teeth and a playful raise of her eyebrows…. I turned bright red, picked up my gun from the ground, and, chased by a cheerful but not mean laugh, dashed to my room, threw myself on the bed, and hid my face in my hands. My heart was racing; I felt really embarrassed and ecstatic; it was a thrill I had never experienced before.
After a rest, I brushed my hair, washed, and went downstairs to tea. The image of the young girl floated before me, my heart was no longer leaping, but was full of a sort of sweet oppression.
After a break, I brushed my hair, washed up, and went downstairs for tea. The image of the young girl stayed in my mind; my heart wasn't racing anymore, but it was filled with a kind of gentle heaviness.
“What’s the matter?” my father asked me all at once: “have you killed a rook?”
“What’s wrong?” my dad suddenly asked me. “Did you kill a rook?”
I was on the point of telling him all about it, but I checked myself, and merely smiled to myself. As I was going to bed, I rotated—I don’t know why—three times on one leg, pomaded my hair, got into bed, and slept like a top all night. Before morning I woke up for an instant, raised my head, looked round me in ecstasy, and fell asleep again.
I was about to tell him everything, but I held back and just smiled to myself. When I was getting ready for bed, I spun around—I'm not sure why—three times on one leg, styled my hair, got into bed, and slept soundly all night. Before morning, I woke up for a moment, lifted my head, looked around in bliss, and fell asleep again.
III
“How can I make their acquaintance?” was my first thought when I waked in the morning. I went out in the garden before morning tea, but I did not go too near the fence, and saw no one. After drinking tea, I walked several times up and down the street before the house, and looked into the windows from a distance…. I fancied her face at a curtain, and I hurried away in alarm.
“How can I meet them?” was my first thought when I woke up in the morning. I went into the garden before having my morning tea, but I didn’t get too close to the fence and didn’t see anyone. After drinking my tea, I walked up and down the street in front of the house several times, peering into the windows from a distance…. I thought I saw her face at a curtain, and I quickly left in a panic.
“I must make her acquaintance, though,” I thought, pacing distractedly about the sandy plain that stretches before Neskutchny park … “but how, that is the question.” I recalled the minutest details of our meeting yesterday; I had for some reason or other a particularly vivid recollection of how she had laughed at me…. But while I racked my brains, and made various plans, fate had already provided for me.
“I need to meet her, though,” I thought, pacing anxiously around the sandy area in front of Neskutchny park … “but how, that’s the question.” I remembered every little detail from our meeting yesterday; I particularly recalled how she had laughed at me…. But while I thought hard and made different plans, fate had already arranged things for me.
In my absence my mother had received from her new neighbour a letter on grey paper, sealed with brown wax, such as is only used in notices from the post-office or on the corks of bottles of cheap wine. In this letter, which was written in illiterate language and in a slovenly hand, the princess begged my mother to use her powerful influence in her behalf; my mother, in the words of the princess, was very intimate with persons of high position, upon whom her fortunes and her children’s fortunes depended, as she had some very important business in hand. “I address myself to you,” she wrote, “as one gentlewoman to another gentlewoman, and for that reason am glad to avail myself of the opportunity.” Concluding, she begged my mother’s permission to call upon her. I found my mother in an unpleasant state of indecision; my father was not at home, and she had no one of whom to ask advice. Not to answer a gentlewoman, and a princess into the bargain, was impossible. But my mother was in a difficulty as to how to answer her. To write a note in French struck her as unsuitable, and Russian spelling was not a strong point with my mother herself, and she was aware of it, and did not care to expose herself. She was overjoyed when I made my appearance, and at once told me to go round to the princess’s, and to explain to her by word of mouth that my mother would always be glad to do her excellency any service within her powers, and begged her to come to see her at one o’clock. This unexpectedly rapid fulfilment of my secret desires both delighted and appalled me. I made no sign, however, of the perturbation which came over me, and as a preliminary step went to my own room to put on a new necktie and tail coat; at home I still wore short jackets and lay-down collars, much as I abominated them.
In my absence, my mom received a letter on grey paper from her new neighbor, sealed with brown wax, the kind that’s only used for notices from the post office or on the corks of cheap wine bottles. In this letter, written in poorly spelled language and a messy handwriting, the princess asked my mom to use her influence to help her; my mom, according to the princess, was close to powerful people, and her fortunes and her children’s futures depended on it because she had some really important matters to deal with. “I’m reaching out to you,” she wrote, “as one woman to another, and for that reason, I’m glad to take this opportunity.” In closing, she asked for my mom’s permission to visit her. I found my mom in a frustrating state of indecision; my dad wasn’t home, and she had no one to consult. It was impossible not to respond to a gentlewoman, especially a princess. But she was unsure how to reply. Writing a note in French seemed inappropriate, and she wasn’t confident in her Russian spelling, which she was aware of and didn’t want to risk exposing. She was thrilled when I showed up and immediately told me to go to the princess's house and explain that my mom would always be happy to help her excellency in any way she could, and asked her to come visit at one o’clock. This unexpectedly quick fulfillment of my hidden desires both excited and frightened me. However, I didn’t show any sign of the anxiety that washed over me, and as a first step, I went to my room to put on a new tie and tailcoat; at home, I still wore short jackets and lay-down collars, which I absolutely hated.
IV
In the narrow and untidy passage of the lodge, which I entered with an involuntary tremor in all my limbs, I was met by an old grey-headed servant with a dark copper-coloured face, surly little pig’s eyes, and such deep furrows on his forehead and temples as I had never beheld in my life. He was carrying a plate containing the spine of a herring that had been gnawed at; and shutting the door that led into the room with his foot, he jerked out, “What do you want?”
In the cramped and messy hallway of the lodge, which I walked into with an involuntary shiver in my body, I was greeted by an old servant with grey hair, a dark copper-colored complexion, grumpy little pig-like eyes, and deep lines on his forehead and temples that I'd never seen before. He was holding a plate with a chewed-up herring spine, and as he closed the door to the room with his foot, he snapped, “What do you want?”
“Is the Princess Zasyekin at home?” I inquired.
“Is Princess Zasyekin home?” I asked.
“Vonifaty!” a jarring female voice screamed from within.
“Vonifaty!” a harsh female voice yelled from inside.
The man without a word turned his back on me, exhibiting as he did so the extremely threadbare hindpart of his livery with a solitary reddish heraldic button on it; he put the plate down on the floor, and went away.
The man silently turned his back on me, showing off the very worn-out backside of his uniform with a single reddish emblem button on it; he set the plate down on the floor and walked away.
“Did you go to the police station?” the same female voice called again. The man muttered something in reply. “Eh…. Has some one come?” I heard again…. “The young gentleman from next door. Ask him in, then.”
“Did you go to the police station?” the same woman called again. The man mumbled something in response. “Eh… Has someone arrived?” I heard again… “The young guy from next door. Bring him in, then.”
“Will you step into the drawing-room?” said the servant, making his appearance once more, and picking up the plate from the floor. I mastered my emotions, and went into the drawing-room.
“Will you come into the living room?” the servant asked, showing up again and picking up the plate from the floor. I controlled my feelings and walked into the living room.
I found myself in a small and not over clean apartment, containing some poor furniture that looked as if it had been hurriedly set down where it stood. At the window in an easy-chair with a broken arm was sitting a woman of fifty, bareheaded and ugly, in an old green dress, and a striped worsted wrap about her neck. Her small black eyes fixed me like pins.
I found myself in a small and not very clean apartment, filled with some shabby furniture that looked like it had been hastily placed where it was. By the window, in an easy chair with a broken arm, sat a fifty-year-old woman, bareheaded and unattractive, dressed in an old green dress and wearing a striped wool wrap around her neck. Her small black eyes locked onto me like pins.
I went up to her and bowed.
I walked up to her and nodded.
“I have the honour of addressing the Princess Zasyekin?”
“I have the honor of speaking to Princess Zasyekin?”
“I am the Princess Zasyekin; and you are the son of Mr. V.?”
“I’m Princess Zasyekin; and you’re Mr. V.'s son?”
“Yes. I have come to you with a message from my mother.”
“Yes. I’ve come to you with a message from my mom.”
“Sit down, please. Vonifaty, where are my keys, have you seen them?”
“Please, have a seat. Vonifaty, do you know where my keys are? Have you seen them?”
I communicated to Madame Zasyekin my mother’s reply to her note. She heard me out, drumming with her fat red fingers on the window-pane, and when I had finished, she stared at me once more.
I told Madame Zasyekin my mom's response to her note. She listened, tapping her chubby red fingers on the window, and when I was done, she looked at me again.
“Very good; I’ll be sure to come,” she observed at last. “But how young you are! How old are you, may I ask?”
“Sounds great; I’ll definitely come," she said at last. "But you’re so young! How old are you, if I can ask?”
“Sixteen,” I replied, with an involuntary stammer.
“Sixteen,” I answered, stammering without meaning to.
The princess drew out of her pocket some greasy papers covered with writing, raised them right up to her nose, and began looking through them.
The princess pulled some greasy papers filled with writing out of her pocket, held them up to her nose, and started flipping through them.
“A good age,” she ejaculated suddenly, turning round restlessly on her chair. “And do you, pray, make yourself at home. I don’t stand on ceremony.”
“A good age,” she exclaimed suddenly, turning restlessly in her chair. “And please, make yourself at home. I don’t stand on formality.”
“No, indeed,” I thought, scanning her unprepossessing person with a disgust I could not restrain.
“No, really,” I thought, looking at her plain appearance with a disgust I couldn’t hold back.
At that instant another door flew open quickly, and in the doorway stood the girl I had seen the previous evening in the garden. She lifted her hand, and a mocking smile gleamed in her face.
At that moment, another door swung open, and in the doorway stood the girl I had seen the night before in the garden. She raised her hand, and a teasing smile lit up her face.
“Here is my daughter,” observed the princess, indicating her with her elbow. “Zinotchka, the son of our neighbour, Mr. V. What is your name, allow me to ask?”
“Here is my daughter,” the princess said, pointing her out with her elbow. “Zinotchka, this is the son of our neighbor, Mr. V. May I ask your name?”
“Vladimir,” I answered, getting up, and stuttering in my excitement.
“Vladimir,” I replied, standing up and stumbling over my words in my excitement.
“And your father’s name?”
"What's your father's name?"
“Petrovitch.”
“Petrovitch.”
“Ah! I used to know a commissioner of police whose name was Vladimir Petrovitch too. Vonifaty! don’t look for my keys; the keys are in my pocket.”
“Ah! I used to know a police commissioner named Vladimir Petrovitch too. Vonifaty! Don’t look for my keys; the keys are in my pocket.”
The young girl was still looking at me with the same smile, faintly fluttering her eyelids, and putting her head a little on one side.
The young girl was still looking at me with the same smile, gently fluttering her eyelashes and tilting her head slightly to one side.
“I have seen Monsieur Voldemar before,” she began. (The silvery note of her voice ran through me with a sort of sweet shiver.) “You will let me call you so?”
“I've seen Monsieur Voldemar before,” she said. (The silvery tone of her voice sent a sweet shiver through me.) “Will you let me call you that?”
“Oh, please,” I faltered.
“Oh, come on,” I faltered.
“Where was that?” asked the princess.
“Where was that?” the princess asked.
The young princess did not answer her mother.
The young princess didn't reply to her mother.
“Have you anything to do just now?” she said, not taking her eyes off me.
“Do you have anything going on right now?” she asked, keeping her eyes on me.
“Oh, no.”
“Oh no.”
“Would you like to help me wind some wool? Come in here, to me.”
“Would you like to help me wind some yarn? Come in here, to me.”
She nodded to me and went out of the drawing-room. I followed her.
She nodded at me and left the living room. I followed her.
In the room we went into, the furniture was a little better, and was arranged with more taste. Though, indeed, at the moment, I was scarcely capable of noticing anything; I moved as in a dream and felt all through my being a sort of intense blissfulness that verged on imbecility.
In the room we entered, the furniture was a bit nicer and arranged with more style. However, honestly, at that moment, I could barely notice anything; I moved like I was in a dream and felt an overwhelming sense of happiness that was almost foolish.
The young princess sat down, took out a skein of red wool and, motioning me to a seat opposite her, carefully untied the skein and laid it across my hands. All this she did in silence with a sort of droll deliberation and with the same bright sly smile on her slightly parted lips. She began to wind the wool on a bent card, and all at once she dazzled me with a glance so brilliant and rapid, that I could not help dropping my eyes. When her eyes, which were generally half closed, opened to their full extent, her face was completely transfigured; it was as though it were flooded with light.
The young princess sat down, took out a ball of red yarn, and gestured for me to take a seat across from her. She carefully untied the yarn and laid it across my hands. She did all of this in silence with a kind of amusing seriousness and with the same bright, mischievous smile on her slightly parted lips. She started winding the yarn onto a curved card, and suddenly she dazzled me with a glance so bright and quick that I couldn't help but look away. When her eyes, which were usually half-closed, opened wide, her face completely transformed; it was as if it was bathed in light.
“What did you think of me yesterday, M’sieu Voldemar?” she asked after a brief pause. “You thought ill of me, I expect?”
“What did you think of me yesterday, M’sieu Voldemar?” she asked after a brief pause. “You probably thought poorly of me, right?”
“I … princess … I thought nothing … how can I?…” I answered in confusion.
“I ... princess ... I didn’t think at all ... how could I?…” I replied, feeling confused.
“Listen,” she rejoined. “You don’t know me yet. I’m a very strange person; I like always to be told the truth. You, I have just heard, are sixteen, and I am twenty-one: you see I’m a great deal older than you, and so you ought always to tell me the truth … and to do what I tell you,” she added. “Look at me: why don’t you look at me?”
“Listen,” she said back. “You don’t know me yet. I’m a really unusual person; I always prefer to be told the truth. I just found out you’re sixteen, and I’m twenty-one: you see, I’m much older than you, so you should always be honest with me … and do what I say,” she added. “Look at me: why aren’t you looking at me?”
I was still more abashed; however, I raised my eyes to her. She smiled, not her former smile, but a smile of approbation. “Look at me,” she said, dropping her voice caressingly: “I don’t dislike that … I like your face; I have a presentiment we shall be friends. But do you like me?” she added slyly.
I felt even more embarrassed, but I looked up at her. She smiled, not the way she used to, but with a smile of approval. “Look at me,” she said softly, her voice gentle: “I don’t dislike that ... I like your face; I have a feeling we’ll be friends. But do you like me?” she added playfully.
“Princess …” I was beginning.
“Princess …” I started.
“In the first place, you must call me Zinaïda Alexandrovna, and in the second place it’s a bad habit for children”—(she corrected herself) “for young people—not to say straight out what they feel. That’s all very well for grown-up people. You like me, don’t you?”
“In the first place, you have to call me Zinaïda Alexandrovna, and in the second place, it’s a bad habit for kids”—(she corrected herself) “for young people—not to say exactly what they feel. That’s fine for adults. You like me, don’t you?”
Though I was greatly delighted that she talked so freely to me, still I was a little hurt. I wanted to show her that she had not a mere boy to deal with, and assuming as easy and serious an air as I could, I observed, “Certainly. I like you very much, Zinaïda Alexandrovna; I have no wish to conceal it.”
Though I was really happy that she talked so openly to me, I was still a bit hurt. I wanted to show her that I wasn’t just some kid, so I put on as relaxed and serious a demeanor as I could and said, “Of course. I like you a lot, Zinaïda Alexandrovna; I don't want to hide it.”
She shook her head very deliberately. “Have you a tutor?” she asked suddenly.
She shook her head intentionally. “Do you have a tutor?” she asked suddenly.
“No; I’ve not had a tutor for a long, long while.”
"No; I haven't had a tutor in a really long time."
I told a lie; it was not a month since I had parted with my Frenchman.
I lied; it hadn't been a month since I last saw my Frenchman.
“Oh! I see then—you are quite grown-up.”
“Oh! I see now—you've really grown up.”
She tapped me lightly on the fingers. “Hold your hands straight!” And she applied herself busily to winding the ball.
She tapped my fingers gently. “Keep your hands straight!” And she focused intently on winding the ball.
I seized the opportunity when she was looking down and fell to watching her, at first stealthily, then more and more boldly. Her face struck me as even more charming than on the previous evening; everything in it was so delicate, clever, and sweet. She was sitting with her back to a window covered with a white blind, the sunshine, streaming in through the blind, shed a soft light over her fluffy golden curls, her innocent neck, her sloping shoulders, and tender untroubled bosom. I gazed at her, and how dear and near she was already to me! It seemed to me I had known her a long while and had never known anything nor lived at all till I met her…. She was wearing a dark and rather shabby dress and an apron; I would gladly, I felt, have kissed every fold of that dress and apron. The tips of her little shoes peeped out from under her skirt; I could have bowed down in adoration to those shoes…. “And here I am sitting before her,” I thought; “I have made acquaintance with her … what happiness, my God!” I could hardly keep from jumping up from my chair in ecstasy, but I only swung my legs a little, like a small child who has been given sweetmeats.
I took the chance when she was looking down and started watching her, first sneakily and then more openly. Her face seemed even more beautiful than it did the night before; everything about it was so delicate, clever, and sweet. She was sitting with her back to a window covered with a white blind, and the sunlight streaming in through the blind cast a soft glow over her fluffy golden curls, her innocent neck, her gently sloping shoulders, and her calm, soft bosom. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, and how dear and close she felt to me already! It felt like I had known her forever and had never really lived until I met her…. She was wearing a dark and somewhat shabby dress with an apron; I would have loved to kiss every fold of that dress and apron. The tips of her little shoes peeked out from under her skirt, and I could have bowed down in adoration to those shoes…. “And here I am sitting in front of her,” I thought; “I’ve gotten to know her… what happiness, my God!” I could hardly stop myself from jumping up from my chair in excitement, but I just swung my legs a little, like a small kid who has been given sweets.
I was as happy as a fish in water, and I could have stayed in that room for ever, have never left that place.
I was as happy as a fish in water, and I could have stayed in that room forever, never wanting to leave that place.
Her eyelids were slowly lifted, and once more her clear eyes shone kindly upon me, and again she smiled.
Her eyelids slowly opened, and once again her bright eyes looked kindly at me, and she smiled again.
“How you look at me!” she said slowly, and she held up a threatening finger.
“How you look at me!” she said slowly, holding up a threatening finger.
I blushed … “She understands it all, she sees all,” flashed through my mind. “And how could she fail to understand and see it all?”
I blushed… “She gets it all, she sees everything,” raced through my mind. “And how could she not understand and see everything?”
All at once there was a sound in the next room—the clink of a sabre.
All of a sudden, there was a sound from the next room—the clink of a saber.
“Zina!” screamed the princess in the drawing-room, “Byelovzorov has brought you a kitten.”
“Zina!” yelled the princess in the living room, “Byelovzorov has brought you a kitten.”
“A kitten!” cried Zinaïda, and getting up from her chair impetuously, she flung the ball of worsted on my knees and ran away.
“A kitten!” shouted Zinaïda, and jumping up from her chair impulsively, she tossed the ball of yarn onto my lap and ran off.
I too got up and, laying the skein and the ball of wool on the window-sill, I went into the drawing-room and stood still, hesitating. In the middle of the room, a tabby kitten was lying with outstretched paws; Zinaïda was on her knees before it, cautiously lifting up its little face. Near the old princess, and filling up almost the whole space between the two windows, was a flaxen curly-headed young man, a hussar, with a rosy face and prominent eyes.
I also got up and, placing the skein and the ball of yarn on the windowsill, I went into the living room and paused, unsure. In the center of the room, a tabby kitten was lying with its paws stretched out; Zinaïda was on her knees in front of it, gently lifting its tiny face. Near the old princess, and almost filling the entire space between the two windows, was a flaxen-haired young hussar, with a rosy complexion and prominent eyes.
“What a funny little thing!” Zinaïda was saying; “and its eyes are not grey, but green, and what long ears! Thank you, Viktor Yegoritch! you are very kind.”
“What a funny little thing!” Zinaïda was saying; “and its eyes aren’t gray, but green, and what long ears! Thank you, Viktor Yegoritch! You’re very kind.”
The hussar, in whom I recognised one of the young men I had seen the evening before, smiled and bowed with a clink of his spurs and a jingle of the chain of his sabre.
The hussar, who I recognized as one of the young men I had seen the night before, smiled and bowed, the sound of his spurs clinking and the chain of his saber jingling.
“You were pleased to say yesterday that you wished to possess a tabby kitten with long ears … so I obtained it. Your word is law.” And he bowed again.
“You said yesterday that you wanted a tabby kitten with long ears … so I got it for you. Your word is law.” And he bowed again.
The kitten gave a feeble mew and began sniffing the ground.
The kitten let out a weak meow and started sniffing the ground.
“It’s hungry!” cried Zinaïda. “Vonifaty, Sonia! bring some milk.”
“It’s hungry!” shouted Zinaïda. “Vonifaty, Sonia! Bring some milk.”
A maid, in an old yellow gown with a faded kerchief at her neck, came in with a saucer of milk and set it before the kitten. The kitten started, blinked, and began lapping.
A maid, in an old yellow dress with a worn-out scarf around her neck, came in with a saucer of milk and placed it in front of the kitten. The kitten startled, blinked, and started drinking.
“What a pink little tongue it has!” remarked Zinaïda, putting her head almost on the ground and peeping at it sideways under its very nose.
“What a cute pink tongue it has!” Zinaïda said, leaning down nearly to the ground and peeking at it from the side right under its nose.
The kitten having had enough began to purr and move its paws affectedly. Zinaïda got up, and turning to the maid said carelessly, “Take it away.”
The kitten, having had enough, started to purr and moved its paws dramatically. Zinaïda got up and casually said to the maid, “Take it away.”
“For the kitten—your little hand,” said the hussar, with a simper and a shrug of his strongly-built frame, which was tightly buttoned up in a new uniform.
“For the kitten—your little hand,” said the hussar, with a smirk and a shrug of his muscular build, which was snugly buttoned up in a new uniform.
“Both,” replied Zinaïda, and she held out her hands to him. While he was kissing them, she looked at me over his shoulder.
“Both,” Zinaïda replied, extending her hands to him. As he kissed them, she looked at me over his shoulder.
I stood stockstill in the same place and did not know whether to laugh, to say something, or to be silent. Suddenly through the open door into the passage I caught sight of our footman, Fyodor. He was making signs to me. Mechanically I went out to him.
I stood frozen in the same spot, unsure whether to laugh, speak, or stay quiet. Suddenly, through the open door into the hallway, I saw our footman, Fyodor. He was signaling to me. Without thinking, I walked out to him.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“Your mamma has sent for you,” he said in a whisper. “She is angry that you have not come back with the answer.”
“Your mom has sent for you,” he said quietly. “She’s upset that you haven't come back with the answer.”
“Why, have I been here long?”
“Why, have I been here for a while?”
“Over an hour.”
"More than an hour."
“Over an hour!” I repeated unconsciously, and going back to the drawing-room I began to make bows and scrape with my heels.
“More than an hour!” I said without thinking, and as I headed back to the living room, I started to bow and scrape with my heels.
“Where are you off to?” the young princess asked, glancing at me from behind the hussar.
“Where are you going?” the young princess asked, looking at me from behind the hussar.
“I must go home. So I am to say,” I added, addressing the old lady, “that you will come to us about two.”
“I need to go home. So I should mention,” I said to the old lady, “that you’ll come to us around two.”
“Do you say so, my good sir.”
“Is that what you say, my good man?”
The princess hurriedly pulled out her snuff-box and took snuff so loudly that I positively jumped. “Do you say so,” she repeated, blinking tearfully and sneezing.
The princess quickly grabbed her snuff-box and took a sniff so loudly that I actually jumped. “Is that what you’re saying?” she repeated, blinking with tears and sneezing.
I bowed once more, turned, and went out of the room with that sensation of awkwardness in my spine which a very young man feels when he knows he is being looked at from behind.
I bowed again, turned, and walked out of the room with that uneasy feeling in my spine that a young man gets when he realizes he's being watched from behind.
“Mind you come and see us again, M’sieu Voldemar,” Zinaïda called, and she laughed again.
“Make sure to come and visit us again, Mr. Voldemar,” Zinaïda called, laughing once more.
“Why is it she’s always laughing?” I thought, as I went back home escorted by Fyodor, who said nothing to me, but walked behind me with an air of disapprobation. My mother scolded me and wondered what ever I could have been doing so long at the princess’s. I made her no reply and went off to my own room. I felt suddenly very sad…. I tried hard not to cry…. I was jealous of the hussar.
“Why is she always laughing?” I thought, as I headed home with Fyodor, who didn’t say a word but followed me with a disapproving look. My mom scolded me and asked what I could have possibly been doing at the princess’s for so long. I didn’t respond and went straight to my room. Suddenly, I felt really sad…. I tried hard not to cry…. I was jealous of the hussar.
V
The princess called on my mother as she had promised and made a disagreeable impression on her. I was not present at their interview, but at table my mother told my father that this Prince Zasyekin struck her as a femme très vulgaire, that she had quite worn her out begging her to interest Prince Sergei in their behalf, that she seemed to have no end of lawsuits and affairs on hand—de vilaines affaires d’argent—and must be a very troublesome and litigious person. My mother added, however, that she had asked her and her daughter to dinner the next day (hearing the word “daughter” I buried my nose in my plate), for after all she was a neighbour and a person of title. Upon this my father informed my mother that he remembered now who this lady was; that he had in his youth known the deceased Prince Zasyekin, a very well-bred, but frivolous and absurd person; that he had been nicknamed in society “le Parisien,” from having lived a long while in Paris; that he had been very rich, but had gambled away all his property; and for some unknown reason, probably for money, though indeed he might have chosen better, if so, my father added with a cold smile, he had married the daughter of an agent, and after his marriage had entered upon speculations and ruined himself utterly.
The princess visited my mother as promised and left a pretty bad impression on her. I wasn't there for their meeting, but during dinner, my mother told my father that this Prince Zasyekin struck her as a very vulgar woman, that she wore her out asking her to get Prince Sergei interested in their situation, that she seemed overwhelmed with lawsuits and issues—nasty money troubles—and must be a very annoying and litigious person. However, my mother mentioned that she invited her and her daughter over for dinner the next day (when I heard the word “daughter,” I buried my face in my plate), since after all, she was a neighbor and a person of title. In response, my father said he remembered who this lady was; that in his youth, he had known the late Prince Zasyekin, who was very well-mannered but rather foolish and ridiculous; that he had been called “the Parisian” in society because he had spent a long time in Paris; that he had been very wealthy but had lost all his fortune to gambling; and for some unknown reason, likely related to money, even though he could have chosen better, my father added with a cold smile, he had married the daughter of an agent, and after getting married, he got involved in risky ventures and ended up completely broke.
“If only she doesn’t try to borrow money,” observed my mother.
"If only she doesn't try to borrow money," my mom noted.
“That’s exceedingly possible,” my father responded tranquilly. “Does she speak French?”
"That's totally possible," my dad replied calmly. "Does she speak French?"
“Very badly.”
“Really badly.”
“H’m. It’s of no consequence anyway. I think you said you had asked the daughter too; some one was telling me she was a very charming and cultivated girl.”
“H’m. It doesn’t really matter anyway. I believe you mentioned that you had asked the daughter too; someone told me she is a very charming and cultured girl.”
“Ah! Then she can’t take after her mother.”
“Ah! So she doesn’t take after her mother.”
“Nor her father either,” rejoined my father. “He was cultivated indeed, but a fool.”
“Neither did her father,” my dad replied. “He was educated, but he was still a fool.”
My mother sighed and sank into thought. My father said no more. I felt very uncomfortable during this conversation.
My mom sighed and fell into thought. My dad didn’t say anything else. I felt really uncomfortable during this conversation.
After dinner I went into the garden, but without my gun. I swore to myself that I would not go near the Zasyekins’ garden, but an irresistible force drew me thither, and not in vain. I had hardly reached the fence when I caught sight of Zinaïda. This time she was alone. She held a book in her hands, and was coming slowly along the path. She did not notice me.
After dinner, I went into the garden, but without my gun. I promised myself that I wouldn’t go near the Zasyekins’ garden, but an irresistible force drew me there, and it wasn’t for nothing. I had barely reached the fence when I saw Zinaïda. This time, she was alone. She held a book in her hands and was walking slowly along the path. She didn’t notice me.
I almost let her pass by; but all at once I changed my mind and coughed.
I almost let her walk past; but suddenly I changed my mind and coughed.
She turned round, but did not stop, pushed back with one hand the broad blue ribbon of her round straw hat, looked at me, smiled slowly, and again bent her eyes on the book.
She turned around, but didn’t stop, pushed back the wide blue ribbon of her round straw hat with one hand, looked at me, smiled slowly, and then focused her eyes back on the book.
I took off my cap, and after hesitating a moment, walked away with a heavy heart. “Que suis-je pour elle?” I thought (God knows why) in French.
I took off my cap, and after hesitating for a moment, walked away feeling really down. “What am I to her?” I thought (God knows why) in French.
Familiar footsteps sounded behind me; I looked round, my father came up to me with his light, rapid walk.
Familiar footsteps echoed behind me; I turned around, and my dad approached me with his quick, light steps.
“Is that the young princess?” he asked me.
“Is that the young princess?” he asked me.
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
“Why, do you know her?”
"Do you know her?"
“I saw her this morning at the princess’s.”
“I saw her this morning at the princess’s.”
My father stopped, and, turning sharply on his heel, went back. When he was on a level with Zinaïda, he made her a courteous bow. She, too, bowed to him, with some astonishment on her face, and dropped her book. I saw how she looked after him. My father was always irreproachably dressed, simple and in a style of his own; but his figure had never struck me as more graceful, never had his grey hat sat more becomingly on his curls, which were scarcely perceptibly thinner than they had once been.
My father stopped, turned sharply on his heel, and went back. When he reached Zinaïda, he gave her a polite bow. She bowed back, looking a bit surprised, and dropped her book. I noticed how she watched him. My father was always impeccably dressed, simple yet with his own style; but today, I had never seen him look more graceful, and his grey hat never suited him better over his curls, which were barely any thinner than before.
I bent my steps toward Zinaïda, but she did not even glance at me; she picked up her book again and went away.
I walked towards Zinaïda, but she didn't even look at me; she picked up her book again and left.
VI
The whole evening and the following day I spent in a sort of dejected apathy. I remember I tried to work and took up Keidanov, but the boldly printed lines and pages of the famous text-book passed before my eyes in vain. I read ten times over the words: “Julius Caesar was distinguished by warlike courage.” I did not understand anything and threw the book aside. Before dinner-time I pomaded myself once more, and once more put on my tail-coat and necktie.
The entire evening and the next day, I was stuck in a state of gloomy disinterest. I remember trying to get some work done and picked up Keidanov, but the bold printed lines and pages of that well-known textbook just blurred before my eyes. I read the phrase “Julius Caesar was known for his bravery in battle” ten times but didn’t grasp a thing and tossed the book aside. Before dinner, I styled my hair again and put on my tailcoat and necktie once more.
“What’s that for?” my mother demanded. “You’re not a student yet, and God knows whether you’ll get through the examination. And you’ve not long had a new jacket! You can’t throw it away!”
“What’s that for?” my mother asked. “You’re not a student yet, and who knows if you’ll pass the exam. And you just got a new jacket! You can’t just get rid of it!”
“There will be visitors,” I murmured almost in despair.
“There will be visitors,” I said quietly, almost in despair.
“What nonsense! fine visitors indeed!”
“What nonsense! Great visitors indeed!”
I had to submit. I changed my tail-coat for my jacket, but I did not take off the necktie. The princess and her daughter made their appearance half an hour before dinner-time; the old lady had put on, in addition to the green dress with which I was already acquainted, a yellow shawl, and an old-fashioned cap adorned with flame-coloured ribbons. She began talking at once about her money difficulties, sighing, complaining of her poverty, and imploring assistance, but she made herself at home; she took snuff as noisily, and fidgeted and lolled about in her chair as freely as ever. It never seemed to have struck her that she was a princess. Zinaïda on the other hand was rigid, almost haughty in her demeanour, every inch a princess. There was a cold immobility and dignity in her face. I should not have recognised it; I should not have known her smiles, her glances, though I thought her exquisite in this new aspect too. She wore a light barége dress with pale blue flowers on it; her hair fell in long curls down her cheek in the English fashion; this style went well with the cold expression of her face. My father sat beside her during dinner, and entertained his neighbour with the finished and serene courtesy peculiar to him. He glanced at her from time to time, and she glanced at him, but so strangely, almost with hostility. Their conversation was carried on in French; I was surprised, I remember, at the purity of Zinaïda’s accent. The princess, while we were at table, as before made no ceremony; she ate a great deal, and praised the dishes. My mother was obviously bored by her, and answered her with a sort of weary indifference; my father faintly frowned now and then. My mother did not like Zinaïda either. “A conceited minx,” she said next day. “And fancy, what she has to be conceited about, avec sa mine de grisette!”
I had to give in. I swapped my tailcoat for my jacket, but I kept my necktie on. The princess and her daughter showed up half an hour before dinner; the old lady wore, in addition to the green dress I was already familiar with, a yellow shawl and an old-fashioned cap decorated with bright orange ribbons. She immediately started talking about her financial troubles, sighing and complaining about her poverty, begging for help, but she made herself at home; she snuffed loudly and fidgeted and lounged in her chair just like always. It never seemed to occur to her that she was a princess. Zinaïda, on the other hand, was stiff, almost arrogant in her demeanor—every bit a princess. There was a cold stillness and dignity in her face. I wouldn't have recognized her; I wouldn't have known her smiles or glances, even though I thought she looked stunning in this new style too. She wore a light barège dress with pale blue flowers on it; her hair fell in long curls down her cheek in the English style; this look suited the cold expression on her face. My father sat beside her during dinner, entertaining her with his usual polished and calm courtesy. He looked at her from time to time, and she looked at him, but it was so strange—almost hostile. They spoke in French; I remember being surprised by the clarity of Zinaïda’s accent. The princess, while we were at the table, acted as before, making no fuss; she ate a lot and praised the food. My mother was obviously bored by her and responded with a sort of tired indifference; my father occasionally frowned slightly. My mother didn’t like Zinaïda either. “A conceited brat,” she said the next day. “And can you believe what she has to be conceited about, avec sa mine de grisette!”
“It’s clear you have never seen any grisettes,” my father observed to her.
“It’s obvious you’ve never seen any grisettes,” my father said to her.
“Thank God, I haven’t!”
“Thank God, I haven’t!”
“Thank God, to be sure … only how can you form an opinion of them, then?”
“Thank God, for sure ... but how can you have an opinion about them, then?”
To me Zinaïda had paid no attention whatever. Soon after dinner the princess got up to go.
To me, Zinaïda didn’t pay any attention at all. Shortly after dinner, the princess stood up to leave.
“I shall rely on your kind offices, Maria Nikolaevna and Piotr Vassilitch,” she said in a doleful sing-song to my mother and father. “I’ve no help for it! There were days, but they are over. Here I am, an excellency, and a poor honour it is with nothing to eat!”
“I'll depend on your help, Maria Nikolaevna and Piotr Vassilitch,” she said in a sad, sing-song voice to my parents. “I have no choice! There were better days, but those are gone. Here I am, a person of importance, and it's a poor honor when there's nothing to eat!”
My father made her a respectful bow and escorted her to the door of the hall. I was standing there in my short jacket, staring at the floor, like a man under sentence of death. Zinaïda’s treatment of me had crushed me utterly. What was my astonishment, when, as she passed me, she whispered quickly with her former kind expression in her eyes: “Come to see us at eight, do you hear, be sure….” I simply threw up my hands, but already she was gone, flinging a white scarf over her head.
My father gave her a respectful bow and led her to the door of the hall. I was standing there in my short jacket, staring at the floor, like a man facing a death sentence. Zinaïda’s behavior toward me had completely crushed my spirit. I was shocked when, as she walked by, she quickly whispered with her usual kind look in her eyes: “Come see us at eight, okay, make sure….” I just threw up my hands, but by then she was already gone, tossing a white scarf over her head.
VII
At eight o’clock precisely, in my tail-coat and with my hair brushed up into a tuft on my head, I entered the passage of the lodge, where the princess lived. The old servant looked crossly at me and got up unwillingly from his bench. There was a sound of merry voices in the drawing-room. I opened the door and fell back in amazement. In the middle of the room was the young princess, standing on a chair, holding a man’s hat in front of her; round the chair crowded some half a dozen men. They were trying to put their hands into the hat, while she held it above their heads, shaking it violently. On seeing me, she cried, “Stay, stay, another guest, he must have a ticket too,” and leaping lightly down from the chair she took me by the cuff of my coat “Come along,” she said, “why are you standing still? Messieurs, let me make you acquainted: this is M’sieu Voldemar, the son of our neighbour. And this,” she went on, addressing me, and indicating her guests in turn, “Count Malevsky, Doctor Lushin, Meidanov the poet, the retired captain Nirmatsky, and Byelovzorov the hussar, whom you’ve seen already. I hope you will be good friends.” I was so confused that I did not even bow to any one; in Doctor Lushin I recognised the dark man who had so mercilessly put me to shame in the garden; the others were unknown to me.
At eight o’clock sharp, in my tailcoat and with my hair styled up into a tuft, I walked into the hallway of the lodge where the princess lived. The old servant shot me a grumpy look and reluctantly got up from his bench. I could hear cheerful voices coming from the drawing-room. I opened the door and was taken aback. In the middle of the room stood the young princess on a chair, holding a man’s hat in front of her; around the chair, a group of about six men were gathered. They were trying to reach into the hat while she held it up above their heads, shaking it vigorously. When she spotted me, she exclaimed, “Wait, wait, another guest! He needs a ticket too!” and jumped down from the chair, grabbing me by the cuff of my coat. “Come on,” she said, “why are you just standing there? Gentlemen, let me introduce you: this is M’sieu Voldemar, the son of our neighbor. And this,” she continued, turning to me and pointing out her guests one by one, “Count Malevsky, Doctor Lushin, Meidanov the poet, the retired Captain Nirmatsky, and Byelovzorov the hussar, whom you’ve already met. I hope you all get along well.” I was so flustered that I didn’t even manage to bow to anyone; I recognized Doctor Lushin as the dark man who had so ruthlessly embarrassed me in the garden; the others were strangers to me.
“Count!” continued Zinaïda, “write M’sieu Voldemar a ticket.”
“Count!” Zinaïda continued, “write M’sieu Voldemar a ticket.”
“That’s not fair,” was objected in a slight Polish accent by the count, a very handsome and fashionably dressed brunette, with expressive brown eyes, a thin little white nose, and delicate little moustaches over a tiny mouth. “This gentleman has not been playing forfeits with us.”
“That's not fair,” the count objected with a slight Polish accent. He was a very handsome, stylishly dressed brunette, with expressive brown eyes, a petite white nose, and delicate little mustaches above a tiny mouth. “This gentleman hasn't been playing forfeits with us.”
“It’s unfair,” repeated in chorus Byelovzorov and the gentleman described as a retired captain, a man of forty, pock-marked to a hideous degree, curly-headed as a negro, round-shouldered, bandy-legged, and dressed in a military coat without epaulets, worn unbuttoned.
“It’s unfair,” echoed Byelovzorov and the man described as a retired captain, a forty-year-old who was pockmarked to an ugly degree, had curly hair like a Black man, was round-shouldered, had bandy legs, and was wearing a military coat without epaulets, left unbuttoned.
“Write him a ticket, I tell you,” repeated the young princess. “What’s this mutiny? M’sieu Voldemar is with us for the first time, and there are no rules for him yet. It’s no use grumbling—write it, I wish it.”
“Write him a ticket, I’m telling you,” the young princess insisted. “What’s this rebellion? M’sieu Voldemar is here with us for the first time, and there are no rules for him yet. No point in complaining—just write it, I want it done.”
The count shrugged his shoulders but bowed submissively, took the pen in his white, ring-bedecked fingers, tore off a scrap of paper and wrote on it.
The count shrugged but bowed respectfully, took the pen in his white, ring-adorned fingers, tore off a piece of paper, and wrote on it.
“At least let us explain to Mr. Voldemar what we are about,” Lushin began in a sarcastic voice, “or else he will be quite lost. Do you see, young man, we are playing forfeits? the princess has to pay a forfeit, and the one who draws the lucky lot is to have the privilege of kissing her hand. Do you understand what I’ve told you?”
“At least let us explain to Mr. Voldemar what we’re doing,” Lushin started in a sarcastic tone, “or he’ll be completely confused. You see, young man, we’re playing forfeits. The princess has to pay a forfeit, and the one who draws the lucky lot gets the privilege of kissing her hand. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I simply stared at him, and continued to stand still in bewilderment, while the young princess jumped up on the chair again, and again began waving the hat. They all stretched up to her, and I went after the rest.
I just stared at him, standing there in confusion, while the young princess jumped back on the chair and started waving the hat again. They all reached out to her, and I followed the rest.
“Meidanov,” said the princess to a tall young man with a thin face, little dim-sighted eyes, and exceedingly long black hair, “you as a poet ought to be magnanimous, and give up your number to M’sieu Voldemar so that he may have two chances instead of one.”
“Meidanov,” the princess said to a tall young man with a thin face, slightly squinting eyes, and extremely long black hair, “as a poet, you should be generous and give your number to M’sieu Voldemar so he can have two chances instead of one.”
But Meidanov shook his head in refusal, and tossed his hair. After all the others I put my hand into the hat, and unfolded my lot…. Heavens! what was my condition when I saw on it the word, Kiss!
But Meidanov shook his head in refusal and tossed his hair. After all the others, I put my hand into the hat and unfolded my lot… Heavens! What was my condition when I saw the word, Kiss!
“Kiss!” I could not help crying aloud.
“Kiss!” I couldn’t help but shout.
“Bravo! he has won it,” the princess said quickly. “How glad I am!” She came down from the chair and gave me such a bright sweet look, that my heart bounded. “Are you glad?” she asked me.
“Bravo! He’s won it,” the princess said quickly. “I’m so happy!” She got down from the chair and gave me such a bright, sweet look that my heart jumped. “Are you happy?” she asked me.
“Me?” … I faltered.
"Me?" … I hesitated.
“Sell me your lot,” Byelovzorov growled suddenly just in my ear. “I’ll give you a hundred roubles.”
“Sell me your lot,” Byelovzorov suddenly growled right in my ear. “I’ll give you a hundred roubles.”
I answered the hussar with such an indignant look, that Zinaïda clapped her hands, while Lushin cried, “He’s a fine fellow!”
I shot the hussar a look of such indignation that Zinaïda clapped her hands, while Lushin exclaimed, “He’s a great guy!”
“But, as master of the ceremonies,” he went on, “it’s my duty to see that all the rules are kept. M’sieu Voldemar, go down on one knee. That is our regulation.”
“But, as the master of ceremonies,” he continued, “it’s my job to make sure all the rules are followed. Mr. Voldemar, please go down on one knee. That’s our regulation.”
Zinaïda stood in front of me, her head a little on one side as though to get a better look at me; she held out her hand to me with dignity. A mist passed before my eyes; I meant to drop on one knee, sank on both, and pressed my lips to Zinaïda’s fingers so awkwardly that I scratched myself a little with the tip of her nail.
Zinaïda stood in front of me, her head tilted slightly to one side as if trying to see me better; she extended her hand to me with elegance. A fog came over my eyes; I intended to drop to one knee, but instead sank to both knees and awkwardly pressed my lips to Zinaïda’s fingers, scratching myself slightly with the tip of her nail.
“Well done!” cried Lushin, and helped me to get up.
“Great job!” exclaimed Lushin, and helped me to my feet.
The game of forfeits went on. Zinaïda sat me down beside her. She invented all sorts of extraordinary forfeits! She had among other things to represent a “statue,” and she chose as a pedestal the hideous Nirmatsky, told him to bow down in an arch, and bend his head down on his breast. The laughter never paused for an instant. For me, a boy constantly brought up in the seclusion of a dignified manor-house, all this noise and uproar, this unceremonious, almost riotous gaiety, these relations with unknown persons, were simply intoxicating. My head went round, as though from wine. I began laughing and talking louder than the others, so much so that the old princess, who was sitting in the next room with some sort of clerk from the Tversky gate, invited by her for consultation on business, positively came in to look at me. But I felt so happy that I did not mind anything, I didn’t care a straw for any one’s jeers, or dubious looks. Zinaïda continued to show me a preference, and kept me at her side. In one forfeit, I had to sit by her, both hidden under one silk handkerchief: I was to tell her my secret. I remember our two heads being all at once in a warm, half-transparent, fragrant darkness, the soft, close brightness of her eyes in the dark, and the burning breath from her parted lips, and the gleam of her teeth and the ends of her hair tickling me and setting me on fire. I was silent. She smiled slyly and mysteriously, and at last whispered to me, “Well, what is it?” but I merely blushed and laughed, and turned away, catching my breath. We got tired of forfeits—we began to play a game with a string. My God! what were my transports when, for not paying attention, I got a sharp and vigorous slap on my fingers from her, and how I tried afterwards to pretend that I was absent-minded, and she teased me, and would not touch the hands I held out to her! What didn’t we do that evening! We played the piano, and sang and danced and acted a gypsy encampment. Nirmatsky was dressed up as a bear, and made to drink salt water. Count Malevsky showed us several sorts of card tricks, and finished, after shuffling the cards, by dealing himself all the trumps at whist, on which Lushin “had the honour of congratulating him.” Meidanov recited portions from his poem “The Manslayer” (romanticism was at its height at this period), which he intended to bring out in a black cover with the title in blood-red letters; they stole the clerk’s cap off his knee, and made him dance a Cossack dance by way of ransom for it; they dressed up old Vonifaty in a woman’s cap, and the young princess put on a man’s hat…. I could not enumerate all we did. Only Byelovzorov kept more and more in the background, scowling and angry…. Sometimes his eyes looked bloodshot, he flushed all over, and it seemed every minute as though he would rush out upon us all and scatter us like shavings in all directions; but the young princess would glance at him, and shake her finger at him, and he would retire into his corner again.
The game of forfeits continued. Zinaïda made me sit next to her. She came up with all kinds of crazy forfeits! One involved her pretending to be a “statue,” and she picked the ugly Nirmatsky as her pedestal, telling him to bow in an arch and lower his head to his chest. The laughter never stopped. For me, a boy raised in the quiet of a respectable manor, all this noise and chaos, this informal, nearly wild fun, and interacting with strangers was just exhilarating. My head spun, as if from wine. I started laughing and talking louder than everyone else, so much that the old princess, who was in the next room with a clerk from the Tversky gate for some business consultation, actually came in to see me. But I was so happy I didn’t care about anyone’s teasing or judging looks. Zinaïda kept favoring me and kept me by her side. In one forfeit, I had to sit with her, both of us hidden under a silk handkerchief: I was supposed to tell her my secret. I remember our heads being in that warm, semi-transparent, fragrant darkness, her bright eyes glowing in the dark, the warmth of her breath from her slightly parted lips, and her hair brushing against me, igniting me with desire. I was silent. She smiled teasingly and mysteriously, finally whispering, “Well, what is it?” but I just blushed and laughed, turning away, trying to catch my breath. We got bored with forfeits and started playing a game with a string. Oh my God! The thrill I felt when I wasn't paying attention and she playfully slapped my fingers! I pretended to be distracted, and she teased me, refusing to touch the hands I held out to her! We did everything that evening! We played the piano, sang, danced, and acted out a gypsy camp. Nirmatsky was dressed as a bear and made to drink salt water. Count Malevsky showed us various card tricks, ultimately dealing himself all the trumps at whist after shuffling the cards, to which Lushin “had the honor of congratulating him.” Meidanov recited parts of his poem “The Manslayer” (romanticism was at its peak back then), which he planned to publish with a black cover and blood-red title; they stole the clerk's cap from his knee and made him dance a Cossack dance to get it back; they dressed old Vonifaty in a woman’s cap, and the young princess wore a man’s hat… I couldn’t list everything we did. Only Byelovzorov kept hanging back, scowling and angry… Sometimes his eyes looked bloodshot, his face flushed, and it seemed like he would explode and scatter us all like sawdust; but the young princess would look at him, shake her finger, and he would retreat to his corner again.
We were quite worn out at last. Even the old princess, though she was ready for anything, as she expressed it, and no noise wearied her, felt tired at last, and longed for peace and quiet. At twelve o’clock at night, supper was served, consisting of a piece of stale dry cheese, and some cold turnovers of minced ham, which seemed to me more delicious than any pastry I had ever tasted; there was only one bottle of wine, and that was a strange one; a dark-coloured bottle with a wide neck, and the wine in it was of a pink hue; no one drank it, however. Tired out and faint with happiness, I left the lodge; at parting Zinaïda pressed my hand warmly, and again smiled mysteriously.
We were totally worn out by the end. Even the old princess, who was up for anything and claimed that no noise bothered her, finally felt exhausted and craved some peace and quiet. At midnight, supper was served, featuring a piece of stale, dry cheese and some cold ham turnovers that tasted better to me than any dessert I’d ever had; there was only one bottle of wine, and it was an unusual one—dark-colored with a wide neck, and the wine was pink. No one ended up drinking it, though. Completely tired and blissfully happy, I left the lodge; as we parted, Zinaïda warmly squeezed my hand and smiled at me mysteriously again.
The night air was heavy and damp in my heated face; a storm seemed to be gathering; black stormclouds grew and crept across the sky, their smoky outlines visibly changing. A gust of wind shivered restlessly in the dark trees, and somewhere, far away on the horizon, muffled thunder angrily muttered as it were to itself.
The night air felt thick and humid against my warm face; a storm appeared to be brewing; dark clouds formed and moved across the sky, their shadowy shapes shifting. A gust of wind stirred uneasily in the dark trees, and somewhere in the distance, muffled thunder grumbled to itself.
I made my way up to my room by the back stairs. My old man-nurse was asleep on the floor, and I had to step over him; he waked up, saw me, and told me that my mother had again been very angry with me, and had wished to send after me again, but that my father had prevented her. (I had never gone to bed without saying good-night to my mother, and asking her blessing. There was no help for it now!)
I went up to my room using the back stairs. My old nurse was asleep on the floor, and I had to step over him; he woke up, saw me, and told me that my mom had been really angry with me again and wanted to send someone after me, but my dad stopped her. (I had never gone to bed without saying goodnight to my mom and asking for her blessing. There was nothing I could do about it now!)
I told my man that I would undress and go to bed by myself, and I put out the candle. But I did not undress, and did not go to bed.
I told my guy that I would get undressed and go to bed on my own, and I blew out the candle. But I didn't get undressed, and I didn't go to bed.
I sat down on a chair, and sat a long while, as though spell-bound. What I was feeling was so new and so sweet…. I sat still, hardly looking round and not moving, drew slow breaths, and only from time to time laughed silently at some recollection, or turned cold within at the thought that I was in love, that this was she, that this was love. Zinaïda’s face floated slowly before me in the darkness—floated, and did not float away; her lips still wore the same enigmatic smile, her eyes watched me, a little from one side, with a questioning, dreamy, tender look … as at the instant of parting from her. At last I got up, walked on tiptoe to my bed, and without undressing, laid my head carefully on the pillow, as though I were afraid by an abrupt movement to disturb what filled my soul…. I lay down, but did not even close my eyes. Soon I noticed that faint glimmers of light of some sort were thrown continually into the room…. I sat up and looked at the window. The window-frame could be clearly distinguished from the mysteriously and dimly-lighted panes. It is a storm, I thought; and a storm it really was, but it was raging so very far away that the thunder could not be heard; only blurred, long, as it were branching, gleams of lightning flashed continually over the sky; it was not flashing, though, so much as quivering and twitching like the wing of a dying bird. I got up, went to the window, and stood there till morning…. The lightning never ceased for an instant; it was what is called among the peasants a sparrow night. I gazed at the dumb sandy plain, at the dark mass of the Neskutchny gardens, at the yellowish façades of the distant buildings, which seemed to quiver too at each faint flash…. I gazed, and could not turn away; these silent lightning flashes, these gleams seemed in response to the secret silent fires which were aglow within me. Morning began to dawn; the sky was flushed in patches of crimson. As the sun came nearer, the lightning grew gradually paler, and ceased; the quivering gleams were fewer and fewer, and vanished at last, drowned in the sobering positive light of the coming day….
I sat down in a chair and stayed there for a long time, almost as if I was under a spell. What I was feeling was so new and so sweet…. I sat still, hardly looking around or moving, breathed slowly, and only occasionally laughed silently at some memory or felt a chill at the thought that I was in love, that this was her, that this was love. Zinaïda's face floated slowly before me in the darkness—floated, and didn't drift away; her lips still wore that mysterious smile, her eyes watched me slightly from one side, with a questioning, dreamy, tender gaze … just like at the moment we parted. Eventually, I got up, walked on tiptoe to my bed, and without undressing, carefully laid my head on the pillow, as if I was afraid that a sudden movement would disrupt what filled my soul…. I lay down but didn’t even close my eyes. Soon, I noticed faint glimmers of light streaming into the room…. I sat up and looked at the window. The window frame was clearly visible against the mysteriously dimly-lit panes. It’s a storm, I thought; and it really was a storm, but it was raging far away enough that I couldn’t hear the thunder; only blurred, long, branching flashes of lightning lit up the sky repeatedly; it wasn’t just flashing, but quivering and twitching like the wing of a dying bird. I got up, went to the window, and stood there until morning…. The lightning never stopped for a moment; it’s what the locals call a sparrow night. I gazed at the silent sandy plain, at the dark mass of the Neskutchny gardens, at the yellowish façades of the distant buildings that seemed to twitch with each faint flash…. I stared, unable to look away; these silent flashes of lightning seemed to respond to the secret, silent fires that were burning within me. Morning began to break; the sky was tinged with patches of crimson. As the sun came closer, the lightning gradually faded and stopped; the quivering glimmers became fewer and fewer, and eventually disappeared, drowned in the sobering bright light of the approaching day….
And my lightning flashes vanished too. I felt great weariness and peace … but Zinaïda’s image still floated triumphant over my soul. But it too, this image, seemed more tranquil: like a swan rising out of the reeds of a bog, it stood out from the other unbeautiful figures surrounding it, and as I fell asleep, I flung myself before it in farewell, trusting adoration….
And my flashes of inspiration faded away too. I felt a deep tiredness and a sense of peace… but Zinaïda’s image still lingered triumphantly in my mind. Yet even this image seemed calmer: like a swan emerging from the reeds of a marsh, it stood apart from the other unappealing figures around it. As I drifted off to sleep, I bowed before it in farewell, filled with devoted admiration…
Oh, sweet emotions, gentle harmony, goodness and peace of the softened heart, melting bliss of the first raptures of love, where are they, where are they?
Oh, sweet feelings, gentle harmony, kindness and peace of a softened heart, melting joy of the initial thrills of love, where are they, where are they?
VIII
The next morning, when I came down to tea, my mother scolded me—less severely, however, than I had expected—and made me tell her how I had spent the previous evening. I answered her in few words, omitting many details, and trying to give the most innocent air to everything.
The next morning, when I came down for tea, my mom scolded me—although not as harshly as I had anticipated—and made me explain how I spent the previous evening. I answered her briefly, leaving out many details, and tried to present everything in the most innocent way possible.
“Anyway, they’re people who’re not comme il faut,” my mother commented, “and you’ve no business to be hanging about there, instead of preparing yourself for the examination, and doing your work.”
“Anyway, they’re people who aren’t comme il faut,” my mother said, “and you shouldn’t be hanging out there instead of getting ready for the exam and doing your work.”
As I was well aware that my mother’s anxiety about my studies was confined to these few words, I did not feel it necessary to make any rejoinder; but after morning tea was over, my father took me by the arm, and turning into the garden with me, forced me to tell him all I had seen at the Zasyekins’.
As I knew my mom's worries about my studies were limited to just those few words, I didn’t think it was necessary to respond. But after we finished morning tea, my dad took me by the arm, led me into the garden, and made me tell him everything I had seen at the Zasyekins’.
A curious influence my father had over me, and curious were the relations existing between us. He took hardly any interest in my education, but he never hurt my feelings; he respected my freedom, he treated me—if I may so express it—with courtesy,… only he never let me be really close to him. I loved him, I admired him, he was my ideal of a man—and Heavens! how passionately devoted I should have been to him, if I had not been continually conscious of his holding me off! But when he liked, he could almost instantaneously, by a single word, a single gesture, call forth an unbounded confidence in him. My soul expanded, I chattered away to him, as to a wise friend, a kindly teacher … then he as suddenly got rid of me, and again he was keeping me off, gently and affectionately, but still he kept me off.
My father had a strange influence on me, and our relationship was equally unusual. He didn’t show much interest in my education, but he never hurt my feelings; he respected my freedom and treated me—if I can put it that way—with courtesy. Still, he never let me get really close to him. I loved him, admired him; he was my ideal of a man—and goodness! how passionately devoted I would have been to him if I hadn’t always felt him keeping me at a distance! But when he wanted, he could almost instantly, with just a single word or gesture, inspire limitless confidence in me. My spirit would lift, and I’d chat with him as if he were a wise friend, a kind teacher… then just as suddenly, he would brush me aside, and once again, he was keeping me at a distance—gently and affectionately, but still keeping me away.
Sometimes he was in high spirits, and then he was ready to romp and frolic with me, like a boy (he was fond of vigorous physical exercise of every sort); once—it never happened a second time!—he caressed me with such tenderness that I almost shed tears…. But high spirits and tenderness alike vanished completely, and what had passed between us, gave me nothing to build on for the future—it was as though I had dreamed it all. Sometimes I would scrutinise his clever handsome bright face … my heart would throb, and my whole being yearn to him … he would seem to feel what was going on within me, would give me a passing pat on the cheek, and go away, or take up some work, or suddenly freeze all over as only he knew how to freeze, and I shrank into myself at once, and turned cold too. His rare fits of friendliness to me were never called forth by my silent, but intelligible entreaties: they always occurred unexpectedly. Thinking over my father’s character later, I have come to the conclusion that he had no thoughts to spare for me and for family life; his heart was in other things, and found complete satisfaction elsewhere. “Take for yourself what you can, and don’t be ruled by others; to belong to oneself—the whole savour of life lies in that,” he said to me one day. Another time, I, as a young democrat, fell to airing my views on liberty (he was “kind,” as I used to call it, that day; and at such times I could talk to him as I liked). “Liberty,” he repeated; “and do you know what can give a man liberty?”
Sometimes he was in a great mood, and then he was ready to play and have fun with me, like a boy (he loved all kinds of vigorous exercise); once—this never happened again!—he held me with such tenderness that I almost cried…. But that cheerful mood and tenderness completely disappeared, and what had happened between us gave me nothing to build on for the future—it felt like it had all been a dream. Sometimes I would study his clever, handsome face … my heart would race, and my whole being would long for him … he seemed to sense what I was feeling, would give me a quick pat on the cheek, and then walk away, or start working, or suddenly become distant in a way only he could, and I would immediately retreat into myself and become cold too. His rare moments of friendliness toward me were never prompted by my silent but clear pleas: they always happened out of the blue. Reflecting on my father's character later, I've realized that he had no thoughts to spare for me or family life; his heart was in other pursuits and found full satisfaction elsewhere. “Take what you can for yourself, and don’t let others control you; belonging to yourself—that's where the true essence of life lies,” he said to me one day. Another time, I, as a young democrat, started sharing my opinions on freedom (he was “in a good mood,” as I used to call it, that day; and during those times, I could talk to him freely). “Freedom,” he repeated; “and do you know what can grant a person freedom?”
“What?”
"Excuse me?"
“Will, his own will, and it gives power, which is better than liberty. Know how to will, and you will be free, and will lead.”
“Your will, your own will, gives you power, which is better than freedom. Know how to will, and you will be free, and you will lead.”
“My father, before all, and above all, desired to live, and lived…. Perhaps he had a presentiment that he would not have long to enjoy the “savour” of life: he died at forty-two.
“My father, above everything else, wanted to live, and he did…. Maybe he sensed that he wouldn’t have long to enjoy the “flavor” of life: he died at forty-two.
I described my evening at the Zasyekins’ minutely to my father. Half attentively, half carelessly, he listened to me, sitting on a garden seat, drawing in the sand with his cane. Now and then he laughed, shot bright, droll glances at me, and spurred me on with short questions and assents. At first I could not bring myself even to utter the name of Zinaïda, but I could not restrain myself long, and began singing her praises. My father still laughed; then he grew thoughtful, stretched, and got up. I remembered that as he came out of the house he had ordered his horse to be saddled. He was a splendid horseman, and, long before Rarey, had the secret of breaking in the most vicious horses.
I described my evening at the Zasyekins’ in detail to my dad. He listened to me half-heartedly while sitting on a garden bench, drawing in the sand with his cane. Occasionally, he laughed, shot playful glances at me, and prompted me with quick questions and nods. At first, I couldn’t bring myself to say Zinaïda’s name, but I eventually couldn’t hold back and started praising her. My dad continued to laugh; then he became serious, stretched, and stood up. I remembered that as he left the house, he had asked for his horse to be saddled. He was a great horseman and, long before Rarey, knew how to tame the most difficult horses.
“Shall I come with you, father?” I asked.
“Should I come with you, Dad?” I asked.
“No,” he answered, and his face resumed its ordinary expression of friendly indifference. “Go alone, if you like; and tell the coachman I’m not going.”
“No,” he replied, and his face returned to its usual look of casual indifference. “Go by yourself, if you want; and let the driver know I’m not coming.”
He turned his back on me and walked rapidly away. I looked after him; he disappeared through the gates. I saw his hat moving along beside the fence; he went into the Zasyekins’.
He turned away from me and walked quickly off. I watched him; he vanished through the gates. I saw his hat moving along next to the fence; he entered the Zasyekins’.
He stayed there not more than an hour, but then departed at once for the town, and did not return home till evening.
He stayed there for no more than an hour, but then he left immediately for the town and didn't come back home until the evening.
After dinner I went myself to the Zasyekins’. In the drawing-room I found only the old princess. On seeing me she scratched her head under her cap with a knitting-needle, and suddenly asked me, could I copy a petition for her.
After dinner, I went over to the Zasyekins’. In the living room, I found only the old princess. When she saw me, she scratched her head under her cap with a knitting needle and suddenly asked me if I could copy a petition for her.
“With pleasure,” I replied, sitting down on the edge of a chair.
“Sure,” I replied, sitting down on the edge of a chair.
“Only mind and make the letters bigger,” observed the princess, handing me a dirty sheet of paper; “and couldn’t you do it to-day, my good sir?”
“Just focus on making the letters bigger,” the princess said, handing me a dirty piece of paper. “And can’t you do it today, my good sir?”
“Certainly, I will copy it to-day.”
“Sure, I’ll get it done today.”
The door of the next room was just opened, and in the crack I saw the face of Zinaïda, pale and pensive, her hair flung carelessly back; she stared at me with big chilly eyes, and softly closed the door.
The door to the next room just opened, and through the crack, I saw Zinaïda's face, pale and thoughtful, her hair tossed back casually; she looked at me with big, cold eyes and gently shut the door.
“Zina, Zina!” called the old lady. Zinaïda made no response. I took home the old lady’s petition and spent the whole evening over it.
“Zina, Zina!” called the old lady. Zinaïda didn’t reply. I took the old lady’s petition home and spent the entire evening working on it.
IX
My “passion” dated from that day. I felt at that time, I recollect, something like what a man must feel on entering the service: I had ceased now to be simply a young boy; I was in love. I have said that my passion dated from that day; I might have added that my sufferings too dated from the same day. Away from Zinaïda I pined; nothing was to my mind; everything went wrong with me; I spent whole days thinking intensely about her … I pined when away,… but in her presence I was no better off. I was jealous; I was conscious of my insignificance; I was stupidly sulky or stupidly abject, and, all the same, an invincible force drew me to her, and I could not help a shudder of delight whenever I stepped through the doorway of her room. Zinaïda guessed at once that I was in love with her, and indeed I never even thought of concealing it. She amused herself with my passion, made a fool of me, petted and tormented me. There is a sweetness in being the sole source, the autocratic and irresponsible cause of the greatest joy and profoundest pain to another, and I was like wax in Zinaïda’s hands; though, indeed, I was not the only one in love with her. All the men who visited the house were crazy over her, and she kept them all in leading-strings at her feet. It amused her to arouse their hopes and then their fears, to turn them round her finger (she used to call it knocking their heads together), while they never dreamed of offering resistance and eagerly submitted to her. About her whole being, so full of life and beauty, there was a peculiarly bewitching mixture of slyness and carelessness, of artificiality and simplicity, of composure and frolicsomeness; about everything she did or said, about every action of hers, there clung a delicate, fine charm, in which an individual power was manifest at work. And her face was ever changing, working too; it expressed, almost at the same time, irony, dreaminess, and passion. Various emotions, delicate and quick-changing as the shadows of clouds on a sunny day of wind, chased one another continually over her lips and eyes.
My "passion" started that day. At that moment, I remember feeling something like what a guy must feel when he joins the military: I had stopped being just a young boy; I was in love. I mentioned that my passion began that day; I could have also said that my suffering did too. Away from Zinaïda, I ached; nothing made sense; everything seemed off; I spent entire days lost in thoughts about her… I ached when I was away,… but being with her wasn’t any better. I was jealous; I felt insignificant; I was either sulky or overly submissive, and yet, there was an unstoppable force pulling me to her, making me shudder with delight every time I walked into her room. Zinaïda immediately sensed that I was in love with her, and honestly, I never tried to hide it. She played with my feelings, made a fool of me, spoiled me, and tormented me. There’s a sweetness in being the sole source, the absolute and careless reason for another person’s greatest joy and deepest pain, and I was like putty in Zinaïda’s hands; however, I wasn’t the only one in love with her. All the men who visited were crazy about her, and she kept them all under her control. She found entertainment in stirring their hopes and then their fears, twisting them around her finger (she called it knocking their heads together), while they never thought of resisting and willingly submitted to her. There was something oddly enchanting about her whole being, so full of life and beauty, with a peculiar mix of slyness and carelessness, artificiality and simplicity, composure and playfulness; everything she did or said, every action of hers, had a delicate charm that revealed her unique power. And her face was always changing, too; it expressed, almost simultaneously, irony, daydreaming, and passion. Various emotions, delicate and fleeting like the shadows of clouds on a sunny, windy day, constantly chased each other across her lips and eyes.
Each of her adorers was necessary to her. Byelovzorov, whom she sometimes called “my wild beast,” and sometimes simply “mine,” would gladly have flung himself into the fire for her sake. With little confidence in his intellectual abilities and other qualities, he was for ever offering her marriage, hinting that the others were merely hanging about with no serious intention. Meidanov responded to the poetic fibres of her nature; a man of rather cold temperament, like almost all writers, he forced himself to convince her, and perhaps himself, that he adored her, sang her praises in endless verses, and read them to her with a peculiar enthusiasm, at once affected and sincere. She sympathised with him, and at the same time jeered at him a little; she had no great faith in him, and after listening to his outpourings, she would make him read Pushkin, as she said, to clear the air. Lushin, the ironical doctor, so cynical in words, knew her better than any of them, and loved her more than all, though he abused her to her face and behind her back. She could not help respecting him, but made him smart for it, and at times, with a peculiar, malignant pleasure, made him feel that he too was at her mercy. “I’m a flirt, I’m heartless, I’m an actress in my instincts,” she said to him one day in my presence; “well and good! Give me your hand then; I’ll stick this pin in it, you’ll be ashamed of this young man’s seeing it, it will hurt you, but you’ll laugh for all that, you truthful person.” Lushin crimsoned, turned away, bit his lips, but ended by submitting his hand. She pricked it, and he did in fact begin to laugh,… and she laughed, thrusting the pin in pretty deeply, and peeping into his eyes, which he vainly strove to keep in other directions….
Each of her admirers was important to her. Byelovzorov, whom she sometimes called “my wild beast” and other times just “mine,” would have happily thrown himself into the fire for her. Lacking confidence in his own intellect and other qualities, he was always proposing marriage, suggesting that the others were just hanging around without serious intentions. Meidanov connected with the poetic side of her nature; a man of rather cool temperament, like most writers, he forced himself to believe that he adored her, praising her in endless verses and reading them to her with a mixture of affected enthusiasm and genuine sincerity. She felt sympathetic toward him but also mocked him a bit; she didn't have much faith in him, and after listening to his emotional outpourings, she would make him read Pushkin, as she said, to clear the air. Lushin, the ironic doctor, cynical in his words, understood her better than any of them and loved her more than all, even though he criticized her both to her face and behind her back. She couldn't help but respect him, but she made him pay for it, sometimes with a unique, malicious pleasure, reminding him that he too was at her mercy. “I’m a flirt, I’m heartless, I’m an actress at heart,” she said to him one day in front of me; “fine! Give me your hand then; I’ll stick this pin in it, and you’ll be embarrassed that this young man sees it, it will hurt, but you’ll laugh anyway, you truthful person.” Lushin blushed, looked away, bit his lips, but eventually offered his hand. She pricked it, and he really did start to laugh,… and she laughed too, pushing the pin in quite deeply while peering into his eyes, which he tried in vain to keep from meeting hers….
I understood least of all the relations existing between Zinaïda and Count Malevsky. He was handsome, clever, and adroit, but something equivocal, something false in him was apparent even to me, a boy of sixteen, and I marvelled that Zinaïda did not notice it. But possibly she did notice this element of falsity really and was not repelled by it. Her irregular education, strange acquaintances and habits, the constant presence of her mother, the poverty and disorder in their house, everything, from the very liberty the young girl enjoyed, with the consciousness of her superiority to the people around her, had developed in her a sort of half-contemptuous carelessness and lack of fastidiousness. At any time anything might happen; Vonifaty might announce that there was no sugar, or some revolting scandal would come to her ears, or her guests would fall to quarrelling among themselves—she would only shake her curls, and say, “What does it matter?” and care little enough about it.
I understood the least about the relationship between Zinaïda and Count Malevsky. He was good-looking, smart, and skillful, but something shady, something insincere about him was clear even to me, a sixteen-year-old boy, and I was surprised that Zinaïda didn't see it. But maybe she did recognize that element of insincerity and just wasn’t bothered by it. Her unconventional upbringing, odd friends and habits, the constant presence of her mother, the poverty and chaos in their home—everything, from the freedom the young girl had to her awareness of being better than those around her, had shaped in her a kind of dismissive nonchalance and lack of fussiness. At any moment, anything could happen; Vonifaty might announce there was no sugar, or some disgusting gossip would reach her ears, or her guests would start arguing—she would only shake her hair and say, “What does it matter?” and wouldn’t care much about it.
But my blood, anyway, was sometimes on fire with indignation when Malevsky approached her, with a sly, fox-like action, leaned gracefully on the back of her chair, and began whispering in her ear with a self-satisfied and ingratiating little smile, while she folded her arms across her bosom, looked intently at him and smiled too, and shook her head.
But my blood, anyway, sometimes boiled with anger when Malevsky came up to her, with a sneaky, fox-like move, leaned elegantly on the back of her chair, and started whispering in her ear with a smug and charming little smile, while she crossed her arms over her chest, looked intently at him and smiled back, shaking her head.
“What induces you to receive Count Malevsky?” I asked her one day.
“What makes you want to meet Count Malevsky?” I asked her one day.
“He has such pretty moustaches,” she answered. “But that’s rather beyond you.”
“He has such nice mustaches,” she replied. “But that’s a bit much for you.”
“You needn’t think I care for him,” she said to me another time. “No; I can’t care for people I have to look down upon. I must have some one who can master me…. But, merciful heavens, I hope I may never come across any one like that! I don’t want to be caught in any one’s claws, not for anything.”
“You don’t need to think I care about him,” she told me another time. “No; I can’t care about people I have to look down on. I need someone who can handle me…. But, for heaven’s sake, I hope I never meet anyone like that! I don’t want to get trapped in anyone’s grasp, not for anything.”
“You’ll never be in love, then?”
“You’re never going to be in love, then?”
“And you? Don’t I love you?” she said, and she flicked me on the nose with the tip of her glove.
“And you? Don’t I love you?” she said, and she tapped me on the nose with the tip of her glove.
Yes, Zinaïda amused herself hugely at my expense. For three weeks I saw her every day, and what didn’t she do with me! She rarely came to see us, and I was not sorry for it; in our house she was transformed into a young lady, a young princess, and I was a little overawed by her. I was afraid of betraying myself before my mother; she had taken a great dislike to Zinaïda, and kept a hostile eye upon us. My father I was not so much afraid of; he seemed not to notice me. He talked little to her, but always with special cleverness and significance. I gave up working and reading; I even gave up walking about the neighbourhood and riding my horse. Like a beetle tied by the leg, I moved continually round and round my beloved little lodge. I would gladly have stopped there altogether, it seemed … but that was impossible. My mother scolded me, and sometimes Zinaïda herself drove me away. Then I used to shut myself up in my room, or go down to the very end of the garden, and climbing into what was left of a tall stone greenhouse, now in ruins, sit for hours with my legs hanging over the wall that looked on to the road, gazing and gazing and seeing nothing. White butterflies flitted lazily by me, over the dusty nettles; a saucy sparrow settled not far off on the half crumbling red brickwork and twittered irritably, incessantly twisting and turning and preening his tail-feathers; the still mistrustful rooks cawed now and then, sitting high, high up on the bare top of a birch-tree; the sun and wind played softly on its pliant branches; the tinkle of the bells of the Don monastery floated across to me from time to time, peaceful and dreary; while I sat, gazed, listened, and was filled full of a nameless sensation in which all was contained: sadness and joy and the foretaste of the future, and the desire and dread of life. But at that time I understood nothing of it, and could have given a name to nothing of all that was passing at random within me, or should have called it all by one name—the name of Zinaïda.
Yes, Zinaïda had a great time at my expense. For three weeks, I saw her every day, and she did everything with me! She rarely came to visit us, which I didn’t mind; in our house, she turned into a refined lady, a young princess, and I felt a bit intimidated by her. I was scared to show my true self in front of my mom; she really disliked Zinaïda and kept a watchful eye on us. I wasn’t as afraid of my dad; he seemed not to notice me much. He spoke little to her but always with a certain cleverness and significance. I stopped working and reading; I even quit wandering around the neighborhood and riding my horse. Like a beetle tied at the leg, I kept going in circles around my beloved little lodge. I would have happily stayed there forever, it seemed… but that wasn’t possible. My mom would scold me, and sometimes Zinaïda would push me away too. Then I would lock myself in my room or go to the far end of the garden, climbing into what was left of a tall stone greenhouse that was now in ruins, and sit for hours with my legs dangling over the wall that faced the road, staring at nothing. White butterflies drifted lazily by over the dusty nettles; a cheeky sparrow landed nearby on the crumbling red brick and chirped irritably, constantly twisting and preening its tail feathers; the still suspicious rooks cawed occasionally, perched high on the bare top of a birch tree; the sun and wind played softly on its flexible branches; the sound of the bells from the Don monastery floated over to me from time to time, both peaceful and sad; and as I sat there, gazing and listening, I was filled with an indescribable feeling that contained everything: sadness and joy and a hint of the future, along with the desire and fear of life. But at that time, I didn’t understand any of it, and I couldn't have named any of the random feelings stirring within me, or I would have called it all by one name—the name of Zinaïda.
Zinaïda continued to play cat and mouse with me. She flirted with me, and I was all agitation and rapture; then she would suddenly thrust me away, and I dared not go near her—dared not look at her.
Zinaïda kept playing games with me. She flirted with me,
I remember she was very cold to me for several days together; I was completely crushed, and creeping timidly to their lodge, tried to keep close to the old princess, regardless of the circumstance that she was particularly scolding and grumbling just at that time; her financial affairs had been going badly, and she had already had two “explanations” with the police officials.
I remember she was really cold to me for several days in a row; I was totally crushed, and sneaking nervously to their place, I tried to stick close to the old princess, even though she was especially irritable and complaining at that time; her money problems had been piling up, and she had already had two “talks” with the police officials.
One day I was walking in the garden beside the familiar fence, and I caught sight of Zinaïda; leaning on both arms, she was sitting on the grass, not stirring a muscle. I was about to make off cautiously, but she suddenly raised her head and beckoned me imperiously. My heart failed me; I did not understand her at first. She repeated her signal. I promptly jumped over the fence and ran joyfully up to her, but she brought me to a halt with a look, and motioned me to the path two paces from her. In confusion, not knowing what to do, I fell on my knees at the edge of the path. She was so pale, such bitter suffering, such intense weariness, was expressed in every feature of her face, that it sent a pang to my heart, and I muttered unconsciously, “What is the matter?”
One day I was walking in the garden next to the familiar fence, and I spotted Zinaïda; she was sitting on the grass with both arms resting on her knees, completely still. I was about to sneak away, but she suddenly looked up and gestured for me to come over, with a commanding wave. I felt a rush of anxiety; I didn't get what she wanted at first. She signaled again. I quickly hopped over the fence and rushed over to her, but she paused me with a look and pointed to the path a couple of steps away. Feeling awkward and unsure of what to do, I dropped to my knees at the edge of the path. She looked so pale, and there was such bitter pain and deep exhaustion written all over her face that it tugged at my heart, and I found myself mumbling, “What’s wrong?”
Zinaïda stretched out her head, picked a blade of grass, bit it and flung it away from her.
Zinaïda leaned her head forward, picked a blade of grass, chewed on it, and tossed it aside.
“You love me very much?” she asked at last. “Yes.”
“You love me a lot?” she finally asked. “Yes.”
I made no answer—indeed, what need was there to answer?
I didn't respond—honestly, what was the point of answering?
“Yes,” she repeated, looking at me as before. “That’s so. The same eyes,”—she went on; sank into thought, and hid her face in her hands. “Everything’s grown so loathsome to me,” she whispered, “I would have gone to the other end of the world first—I can’t bear it, I can’t get over it…. And what is there before me!… Ah, I am wretched…. My God, how wretched I am!”
“Yes,” she repeated, looking at me just like before. “That’s right. The same eyes,”—she continued, then fell into thought and hid her face in her hands. “Everything has become so awful to me,” she whispered, “I would have gone to the farthest corner of the world first—I can’t stand it, I can’t get past it…. And what’s ahead of me!… Ah, I’m miserable…. My God, how miserable I am!”
“What for?” I asked timidly.
“Why?” I asked timidly.
Zinaïda made no answer, she simply shrugged her shoulders. I remained kneeling, gazing at her with intense sadness. Every word she had uttered simply cut me to the heart. At that instant I felt I would gladly have given my life, if only she should not grieve. I gazed at her—and though I could not understand why she was wretched, I vividly pictured to myself, how in a fit of insupportable anguish, she had suddenly come out into the garden, and sunk to the earth, as though mown down by a scythe. It was all bright and green about her; the wind was whispering in the leaves of the trees, and swinging now and then a long branch of a raspberry bush over Zinaïda’s head. There was a sound of the cooing of doves, and the bees hummed, flying low over the scanty grass. Overhead the sun was radiantly blue—while I was so sorrowful….
Zinaïda didn’t say anything; she just shrugged. I stayed kneeling, looking at her with deep sadness. Every word she had spoken hurt me deeply. In that moment, I felt I would gladly give my life if it meant she wouldn’t suffer. I looked at her—and even though I didn’t understand why she was so unhappy, I could clearly imagine how, in a moment of unbearable pain, she had rushed into the garden and collapsed to the ground, as if struck down by a scythe. Everything around her was bright and green; the wind was rustling the leaves of the trees, occasionally swinging a long branch from a raspberry bush over Zinaïda’s head. I could hear doves cooing, and bees buzzing as they flew low over the sparse grass. Above us, the sun was a brilliant blue—while I felt so heartbroken….
“Read me some poetry,” said Zinaïda in an undertone, and she propped herself on her elbow; “I like your reading poetry. You read it in sing-song, but that’s no matter, that comes of being young. Read me ‘On the Hills of Georgia.’ Only sit down first.”
“Read me some poetry,” Zinaïda said quietly, propping herself up on her elbow. “I enjoy your poetry readings. You read in a sing-song voice, but that’s okay, it’s just because you’re young. Read me ‘On the Hills of Georgia.’ But sit down first.”
I sat down and read “On the Hills of Georgia.”
I sat down and read “On the Hills of Georgia.”
“‘That the heart cannot choose but love,’” repeated Zinaïda. “That’s where poetry’s so fine; it tells us what is not, and what’s not only better than what is, but much more like the truth, ‘cannot choose but love,’—it might want not to, but it can’t help it.” She was silent again, then all at once she started and got up. “Come along. Meidanov’s indoors with mamma, he brought me his poem, but I deserted him. His feelings are hurt too now … I can’t help it! you’ll understand it all some day … only don’t be angry with me!”
“‘The heart can’t help but love,’” Zinaïda repeated. “That’s the beauty of poetry; it reveals what isn’t true, and what’s not just better than reality, but way closer to the truth—‘can’t help but love’—it might wish it could resist, but it just can’t.” She fell silent again, then suddenly she perked up and got up. “Let’s go. Meidanov is inside with Mom; he brought me his poem, but I ditched him. His feelings are hurt too now … I can’t help it! You’ll understand everything one day … just please don’t be mad at me!”
Zinaïda hurriedly pressed my hand and ran on ahead. We went back into the lodge. Meidanov set to reading us his “Manslayer,” which had just appeared in print, but I did not hear him. He screamed and drawled his four-foot iambic lines, the alternating rhythms jingled like little bells, noisy and meaningless, while I still watched Zinaïda and tried to take in the import of her last words.
Zinaïda quickly squeezed my hand and dashed ahead. We went back into the lodge. Meidanov started reading us his “Manslayer,” which had just come out, but I didn’t pay attention to him. He shouted and dragged out his four-foot iambic lines, the alternating rhythms ringing like little bells, loud and pointless, while I kept watching Zinaïda and tried to grasp the meaning of her last words.
“Perchance some unknown rival
Has surprised and mastered thee?”
“Maybe some unknown competitor
Has caught you off guard and defeated you?”
Meidanov bawled suddenly through his nose—and my eyes and Zinaïda’s met. She looked down and faintly blushed. I saw her blush, and grew cold with terror. I had been jealous before, but only at that instant the idea of her being in love flashed upon my mind. “Good God! she is in love!”
Meidanov suddenly snorted, and I caught Zinaïda's gaze. She looked down and faintly flushed. I noticed her blush and felt a chill of fear. I had felt jealous before, but in that moment, the thought of her being in love hit me. “Oh my God! She’s in love!”
X
My real torments began from that instant. I racked my brains, changed my mind, and changed it back again, and kept an unremitting, though, as far as possible, secret watch on Zinaïda. A change had come over her, that was obvious. She began going walks alone—and long walks. Sometimes she would not see visitors; she would sit for hours together in her room. This had never been a habit of hers till now. I suddenly became—or fancied I had become—extraordinarily penetrating.
My real struggles started from that moment. I thought things over, changed my mind, and then changed it back again, while keeping a constant, though as secret as possible, eye on Zinaïda. It was clear that something had changed in her. She started going for long walks by herself. Sometimes she wouldn't even see visitors and would sit alone in her room for hours. She had never done this before. I suddenly felt—or thought I felt—remarkably perceptive.
“Isn’t it he? or isn’t it he?” I asked myself, passing in inward agitation from one of her admirers to another. Count Malevsky secretly struck me as more to be feared than the others, though, for Zinaïda’s sake, I was ashamed to confess it to myself.
“Isn’t it him? or isn’t it him?” I asked myself, feeling more and more anxious as I moved from one of her admirers to another. Count Malevsky secretly seemed more intimidating than the others to me, even though I was too ashamed to admit it to myself for Zinaïda’s sake.
My watchfulness did not see beyond the end of my nose, and its secrecy probably deceived no one; any way, Doctor Lushin soon saw through me. But he, too, had changed of late; he had grown thin, he laughed as often, but his laugh seemed more hollow, more spiteful, shorter, an involuntary nervous irritability took the place of his former light irony and assumed cynicism.
My awareness didn’t extend beyond my immediate surroundings, and its secrecy probably fooled no one; anyway, Doctor Lushin quickly figured me out. But he had changed too; he had lost weight, he still laughed often, but his laugh sounded emptier, more bitter, and shorter. An involuntary nervous irritation had replaced his old light irony and sarcastic tone.
“Why are you incessantly hanging about here, young man?” he said to me one day, when we were left alone together in the Zasyekins’ drawing-room. (The young princess had not come home from a walk, and the shrill voice of the old princess could be heard within; she was scolding the maid.) “You ought to be studying, working—while you’re young—and what are you doing?”
“Why are you constantly loitering here, young man?” he said to me one day when we were alone in the Zasyekins’ living room. (The young princess hadn’t returned from her walk, and the sharp voice of the old princess could be heard inside; she was scolding the maid.) “You should be studying, working—while you’re young—and what are you doing?”
“You can’t tell whether I work at home,” I retorted with some haughtiness, but also with some hesitation.
“You can't tell if I work from home,” I replied, sounding a bit arrogant but also uncertain.
“A great deal of work you do! that’s not what you’re thinking about! Well, I won’t find fault with that … at your age that’s in the natural order of things. But you’ve been awfully unlucky in your choice. Don’t you see what this house is?”
“A lot of work you're doing! That's not what you're really thinking about! Well, I won't criticize that ... at your age, it's just how things go. But you've been really unlucky with your choice. Don’t you see what this house is?”
“I don’t understand you,” I observed.
"I don’t get you," I said.
“You don’t understand? so much the worse for you. I regard it as a duty to warn you. Old bachelors, like me, can come here, what harm can it do us! we’re tough, nothing can hurt us, what harm can it do us; but your skin’s tender yet—this air is bad for you—believe me, you may get harm from it.”
“You don’t get it? That’s too bad for you. I feel it’s my responsibility to warn you. Old bachelors like me can come here; what harm can it do us? We’re tough—nothing can hurt us, really—but your skin is still sensitive. This air isn’t good for you—trust me, it could really affect you.”
“How so?”
"How come?"
“Why, are you well now? Are you in a normal condition? Is what you’re feeling—beneficial to you—good for you?”
“Why, are you feeling okay now? Are you in a good place? Is what you're experiencing—helpful to you—good for you?”
“Why, what am I feeling?” I said, while in my heart I knew the doctor was right.
“Why, what am I feeling?” I said, even though deep down I knew the doctor was right.
“Ah, young man, young man,” the doctor went on with an intonation that suggested that something highly insulting to me was contained in these two words, “what’s the use of your prevaricating, when, thank God, what’s in your heart is in your face, so far? But there, what’s the use of talking? I shouldn’t come here myself, if … (the doctor compressed his lips) … if I weren’t such a queer fellow. Only this is what surprises me; how it is, you, with your intelligence, don’t see what is going on around you?”
“Ah, young man, young man,” the doctor continued with a tone that hinted at something very insulting in those two words, “what’s the point of your lying, when, thank God, what’s in your heart shows on your face, so far? But really, what’s the point of discussing this? I shouldn’t even be here myself, if … (the doctor pursed his lips) … if I weren’t such a strange guy. What surprises me is how you, with your intelligence, don’t see what’s happening around you?”
“And what is going on?” I put in, all on the alert.
“And what’s happening?” I interjected, fully alert.
The doctor looked at me with a sort of ironical compassion.
The doctor looked at me with a kind of sarcastic sympathy.
“Nice of me!” he said as though to himself, “as if he need know anything of it. In fact, I tell you again,” he added, raising his voice, “the atmosphere here is not fit for you. You like being here, but what of that! it’s nice and sweet-smelling in a greenhouse—but there’s no living in it. Yes! do as I tell you, and go back to your Keidanov.”
“Nice of me!” he said to himself, “as if he needs to know anything about it. Actually, let me tell you again,” he added, raising his voice, “the vibe here isn’t right for you. You enjoy being here, but so what! It’s nice and sweet-smelling in a greenhouse—but you can’t live in it. Yes! Do what I’m saying and go back to your Keidanov.”
The old princess came in, and began complaining to the doctor of her toothache. Then Zinaïda appeared.
The old princess walked in and started telling the doctor about her toothache. Then Zinaïda showed up.
“Come,” said the old princess, “you must scold her, doctor. She’s drinking iced water all day long; is that good for her, pray, with her delicate chest?”
“Come,” said the old princess, “you need to tell her off, doctor. She’s drinking iced water all day; is that good for her, given her fragile chest?”
“Why do you do that?” asked Lushin.
“Why do you do that?” Lushin asked.
“Why, what effect could it have?”
“Why, what impact could it have?”
“What effect? You might get a chill and die.”
“What effect? You could catch a chill and die.”
“Truly? Do you mean it? Very well—so much the better.”
“Really? Are you serious? Alright—sounds great.”
“A fine idea!” muttered the doctor. The old princess had gone out.
“A great idea!” muttered the doctor. The old princess had left.
“Yes, a fine idea,” repeated Zinaïda. “Is life such a festive affair? Just look about you…. Is it nice, eh? Or do you imagine I don’t understand it, and don’t feel it? It gives me pleasure—drinking iced water; and can you seriously assure me that such a life is worth too much to be risked for an instant’s pleasure—happiness I won’t even talk about.”
“Yes, that’s a great idea,” Zinaïda said again. “Is life really that celebratory? Just take a look around you… Is it nice, huh? Or do you think I don’t get it and don’t feel it? It makes me happy—drinking iced water; and can you honestly tell me that such a life is worth so much to risk for a moment of pleasure—happiness I won’t even mention.”
“Oh, very well,” remarked Lushin, “caprice and irresponsibility…. Those two words sum you up; your whole nature’s contained in those two words.”
“Oh, fine,” Lushin said, “whim and irresponsibility… Those two words sum you up; your entire nature is captured in those two words.”
Zinaïda laughed nervously.
Zinaïda laughed awkwardly.
“You’re late for the post, my dear doctor. You don’t keep a good look-out; you’re behind the times. Put on your spectacles. I’m in no capricious humour now. To make fools of you, to make a fool of myself … much fun there is in that!—and as for irresponsibility … M’sieu Voldemar,” Zinaïda added suddenly, stamping, “don’t make such a melancholy face. I can’t endure people to pity me.” She went quickly out of the room.
“You’re late for the mail, my dear doctor. You don’t pay attention; you’re stuck in the past. Put on your glasses. I’m not in a playful mood right now. Making fools of you, making a fool of myself … there’s not much fun in that!—and as for being irresponsible … M’sieu Voldemar,” Zinaïda added suddenly, stamping her foot, “don’t look so sad. I can’t stand it when people pity me.” She quickly left the room.
“It’s bad for you, very bad for you, this atmosphere, young man,” Lushin said to me once more.
“It’s not good for you, really not good for you, this environment, young man,” Lushin said to me again.
XI
On the evening of the same day the usual guests were assembled at the Zasyekins’. I was among them.
On the evening of that same day, the usual guests gathered at the Zasyekins’. I was one of them.
The conversation turned on Meidanov’s poem. Zinaïda expressed genuine admiration of it. “But do you know what?” she said to him. “If I were a poet, I would choose quite different subjects. Perhaps it’s all nonsense, but strange ideas sometimes come into my head, especially when I’m not asleep in the early morning, when the sky begins to turn rosy and grey both at once. I would, for instance … You won’t laugh at me?”
The conversation shifted to Meidanov’s poem. Zinaïda expressed real admiration for it. “But do you know what?” she asked him. “If I were a poet, I would pick completely different topics. Maybe it’s silly, but weird ideas often pop into my head, especially when I’m not asleep in the early morning, when the sky starts to turn both rosy and gray at the same time. I would, for example… You won’t laugh at me, will you?”
“No, no!” we all cried, with one voice.
“No, no!” we all shouted together.
“I would describe,” she went on, folding her arms across her bosom and looking away, “a whole company of young girls at night in a great boat, on a silent river. The moon is shining, and they are all in white, and wearing garlands of white flowers, and singing, you know, something in the nature of a hymn.”
“I would describe,” she continued, folding her arms across her chest and looking away, “a whole group of young girls at night in a big boat, on a quiet river. The moon is shining, and they’re all in white, wearing garlands of white flowers, and singing something like a hymn.”
“I see—I see; go on,” Meidanov commented with dreamy significance.
“I get it—I get it; continue,” Meidanov replied with a thoughtful look.
“All of a sudden, loud clamour, laughter, torches, tambourines on the bank…. It’s a troop of Bacchantes dancing with songs and cries. It’s your business to make a picture of it, Mr. Poet;… only I should like the torches to be red and to smoke a great deal, and the Bacchantes’ eyes to gleam under their wreaths, and the wreaths to be dusky. Don’t forget the tiger-skins, too, and goblets and gold—lots of gold….”
“All of a sudden, there's a loud noise, laughter, torches, and tambourines on the shore…. It’s a group of Bacchantes dancing with songs and shouts. It’s your job to paint a picture of it, Mr. Poet;… just make sure the torches are red and billowing a lot of smoke, and the Bacchantes’ eyes are shining under their wreaths, with the wreaths being dark. Don’t forget the tiger-skins, the goblets, and all that gold….”
“Where ought the gold to be?” asked Meidanov, tossing back his sleek hair and distending his nostrils.
“Where should the gold be?” asked Meidanov, tossing back his smooth hair and flaring his nostrils.
“Where? on their shoulders and arms and legs—everywhere. They say in ancient times women wore gold rings on their ankles. The Bacchantes call the girls in the boat to them. The girls have ceased singing their hymn—they cannot go on with it, but they do not stir, the river carries them to the bank. And suddenly one of them slowly rises…. This you must describe nicely: how she slowly gets up in the moonlight, and how her companions are afraid…. She steps over the edge of the boat, the Bacchantes surround her, whirl her away into night and darkness…. Here put in smoke in clouds and everything in confusion. There is nothing but the sound of their shrill cry, and her wreath left lying on the bank.”
“Where? On their shoulders, arms, and legs—everywhere. They say that in ancient times, women wore gold rings on their ankles. The Bacchantes call the girls in the boat to them. The girls have stopped singing their hymn—they can't continue, but they don’t move; the river carries them to the shore. And suddenly one of them slowly rises…. You need to describe this beautifully: how she slowly stands up in the moonlight, and how her friends are scared…. She steps over the edge of the boat, and the Bacchantes surround her, whirl her away into the night and darkness…. Here add in smoke in clouds and everything in chaos. All that can be heard is the sound of their high-pitched cries and her wreath left on the shore.”
Zinaïda ceased. (“Oh! she is in love!” I thought again.)
Zinaïda stopped. (“Oh! she’s in love!” I thought again.)
“And is that all?” asked Meidanov.
“And is that it?” asked Meidanov.
“That’s all.”
"That's it."
“That can’t be the subject of a whole poem,” he observed pompously, “but I will make use of your idea for a lyrical fragment.”
"That can't be the topic of an entire poem," he said arrogantly, "but I'll use your idea for a lyrical excerpt."
“In the romantic style?” queried Malevsky.
“In the romantic style?” Malevsky asked.
“Of course, in the romantic style—Byronic.”
“Of course, in a romantic way—Byronic.”
“Well, to my mind, Hugo beats Byron,” the young count observed negligently; “he’s more interesting.”
“Well, in my opinion, Hugo is better than Byron,” the young count said casually; “he’s more interesting.”
“Hugo is a writer of the first class,” replied Meidanov; “and my friend, Tonkosheev, in his Spanish romance, El Trovador …”
“Hugo is a top-notch writer,” replied Meidanov; “and my friend, Tonkosheev, in his Spanish romance, El Trovador …”
“Ah! is that the book with the question-marks turned upside down?” Zinaïda interrupted.
“Ah! Is that the book with the question marks flipped upside down?” Zinaïda interrupted.
“Yes. That’s the custom with the Spanish. I was about to observe that Tonkosheev …”
“Yes. That’s the custom with the Spanish. I was just about to mention that Tonkosheev …”
“Come! you’re going to argue about classicism and romanticism again,” Zinaïda interrupted him a second time.” We’d much better play…
“Come on! You're going to debate classicism and romanticism again,” Zinaïda interrupted him for the second time. “We’d be better off playing…”
“Forfeits?” put in Lushin.
"Forfeits?" Lushin asked.
“No, forfeits are a bore; at comparisons.” (This game Zinaïda had invented herself. Some object was mentioned, every one tried to compare it with something, and the one who chose the best comparison got a prize.)
“No, forfeits are boring; especially during comparisons.” (This game Zinaïda had invented herself. An object was mentioned, everyone tried to compare it with something, and the person who came up with the best comparison won a prize.)
She went up to the window. The sun was just setting; high up in the sky were large red clouds.
She walked over to the window. The sun was just setting, and there were big red clouds high in the sky.
“What are those clouds like?” questioned Zinaïda; and without waiting for our answer, she said, “I think they are like the purple sails on the golden ship of Cleopatra, when she sailed to meet Antony. Do you remember, Meidanov, you were telling me about it not long ago?”
“What are those clouds like?” Zinaïda asked, and without waiting for our reply, she said, “I think they look like the purple sails on Cleopatra’s golden ship when she sailed to meet Antony. Do you remember, Meidanov? You were just telling me about it not long ago?”
All of us, like Polonius in Hamlet, opined that the clouds recalled nothing so much as those sails, and that not one of us could discover a better comparison.
All of us, like Polonius in Hamlet, agreed that the clouds reminded us of those sails, and none of us could think of a better comparison.
“And how old was Antony then?” inquired Zinaïda.
“And how old was Antony then?” Zinaïda asked.
“A young man, no doubt,” observed Malevsky.
“A young man, for sure,” noted Malevsky.
“Yes, a young man,” Meidanov chimed in in confirmation.
“Yes, a young man,” Meidanov added in agreement.
“Excuse me,” cried Lushin, “he was over forty.”
“Excuse me,” shouted Lushin, “he was over forty.”
“Over forty,” repeated Zinaïda, giving him a rapid glance….
“Over forty,” Zinaïda repeated, giving him a quick look….
I soon went home. “She is in love,” my lips unconsciously repeated…. “But with whom?”
I quickly went home. “She’s in love,” my lips unconsciously repeated…. “But with who?”
XII
The days passed by. Zinaïda became stranger and stranger, and more and more incomprehensible. One day I went over to her, and saw her sitting in a basket-chair, her head pressed to the sharp edge of the table. She drew herself up … her whole face was wet with tears.
The days went by. Zinaïda became more and more mysterious and harder to understand. One day I approached her and found her sitting in a basket chair, her head pressed against the sharp edge of the table. She straightened up... her entire face was soaked with tears.
“Ah, you!” she said with a cruel smile. “Come here.”
“Ah, you!” she said with a wicked grin. “Come here.”
I went up to her. She put her hand on my head, and suddenly catching hold of my hair, began pulling it.
I walked over to her. She placed her hand on my head, and suddenly grabbed my hair, starting to pull it.
“It hurts me,” I said at last.
“It hurts me,” I finally said.
“Ah! does it? And do you suppose nothing hurts me?” she replied.
“Ah! does it? And do you think nothing hurts me?” she replied.
“Ai!” she cried suddenly, seeing she had pulled a little tuft of hair out. “What have I done? Poor M’sieu Voldemar!”
“Ai!” she exclaimed suddenly, realizing she had pulled out a small tuft of hair. “What have I done? Poor M’sieu Voldemar!”
She carefully smoothed the hair she had torn out, stroked it round her finger, and twisted it into a ring.
She carefully smoothed the hair she had pulled out, wrapped it around her finger, and twisted it into a ring.
“I shall put your hair in a locket and wear it round my neck,” she said, while the tears still glittered in her eyes. “That will be some small consolation to you, perhaps … and now good-bye.”
“I'll put your hair in a locket and wear it around my neck,” she said, tears still sparkling in her eyes. “That might be a little comfort for you … and now, goodbye.”
I went home, and found an unpleasant state of things there. My mother was having a scene with my father; she was reproaching him with something, while he, as his habit was, maintained a polite and chilly silence, and soon left her. I could not hear what my mother was talking of, and indeed I had no thought to spare for the subject; I only remember that when the interview was over, she sent for me to her room, and referred with great displeasure to the frequent visits I paid the princess, who was, in her words, une femme capable de tout. I kissed her hand (this was what I always did when I wanted to cut short a conversation) and went off to my room. Zinaïda’s tears had completely overwhelmed me; I positively did not know what to think, and was ready to cry myself; I was a child after all, in spite of my sixteen years. I had now given up thinking about Malevsky, though Byelovzorov looked more and more threatening every day, and glared at the wily count like a wolf at a sheep; but I thought of nothing and of no one. I was lost in imaginings, and was always seeking seclusion and solitude. I was particularly fond of the ruined greenhouse. I would climb up on the high wall, and perch myself, and sit there, such an unhappy, lonely, and melancholy youth, that I felt sorry for myself—and how consolatory were those mournful sensations, how I revelled in them!…
I went home and found a pretty miserable situation there. My mom was having a fight with my dad; she was accusing him of something while he, as usual, kept a polite and cold silence and soon walked away from her. I couldn't hear what my mom was talking about, and honestly, I didn’t care about that; I just remember that when their conversation ended, she called me to her room and expressed her great displeasure about how often I visited the princess, who, according to her, was une femme capable de tout. I kissed her hand (which I always did when I wanted to end the conversation) and went to my room. Zinaïda’s tears had completely overwhelmed me; I honestly didn’t know what to think, and I was ready to cry myself; I was just a kid after all, even at sixteen. I had stopped thinking about Malevsky, though Byelovzorov seemed more and more menacing each day, glaring at the sly count like a wolf at a sheep; but I was thinking about nothing and no one. I was lost in my thoughts and constantly sought seclusion and solitude. I especially liked the ruined greenhouse. I would climb up on the tall wall, sit there, such an unhappy, lonely, and melancholic young person, that I felt sorry for myself—and those sorrowful feelings were so comforting; I really indulged in them!…
One day I was sitting on the wall looking into the distance and listening to the ringing of the bells…. Suddenly something floated up to me—not a breath of wind and not a shiver, but as it were a whiff of fragrance—as it were, a sense of some one’s being near…. I looked down. Below, on the path, in a light greyish gown, with a pink parasol on her shoulder, was Zinaïda, hurrying along. She caught sight of me, stopped, and pushing back the brim of her straw hat, she raised her velvety eyes to me.
One day, I was sitting on the wall, gazing into the distance and listening to the sound of the bells. Suddenly, something came to me—not a gust of wind or a chill, but more like a hint of fragrance—as if someone were nearby. I looked down. Below, on the path, in a light gray dress, with a pink parasol over her shoulder, was Zinaïda, hurrying along. She noticed me, stopped, and, pushing back the brim of her straw hat, looked up at me with her velvety eyes.
“What are you doing up there at such a height?” she asked me with a rather queer smile. “Come,” she went on, “you always declare you love me; jump down into the road to me if you really do love me.”
“What are you doing up there so high?” she asked me with a somewhat strange smile. “Come on,” she continued, “you always say you love me; jump down into the road to me if you really love me.”
Zinaïda had hardly uttered those words when I flew down, just as though some one had given me a violent push from behind. The wall was about fourteen feet high. I reached the ground on my feet, but the shock was so great that I could not keep my footing; I fell down, and for an instant fainted away. When I came to myself again, without opening my eyes, I felt Zinaïda beside me. “My dear boy,” she was saying, bending over me, and there was a note of alarmed tenderness in her voice, “how could you do it, dear; how could you obey?… You know I love you…. Get up.”
Zinaïda had barely finished speaking when I jumped down, as if someone had pushed me hard from behind. The wall was about fourteen feet high. I landed on my feet, but the impact was so strong that I lost my balance; I fell and, for a moment, lost consciousness. When I came to, without opening my eyes, I sensed Zinaïda next to me. “My dear boy,” she was saying, leaning over me, her voice filled with worried affection, “how could you do that, dear; how could you obey?… You know I love you…. Get up.”
Her bosom was heaving close to me, her hands were caressing my head, and suddenly—what were my emotions at that moment—her soft, fresh lips began covering my face with kisses … they touched my lips…. But then Zinaïda probably guessed by the expression of my face that I had regained consciousness, though I still kept my eyes closed, and rising rapidly to her feet, she said: “Come, get up, naughty boy, silly, why are you lying in the dust?” I got up. “Give me my parasol,” said Zinaïda, “I threw it down somewhere, and don’t stare at me like that … what ridiculous nonsense! you’re not hurt, are you? stung by the nettles, I daresay? Don’t stare at me, I tell you…. But he doesn’t understand, he doesn’t answer,” she added, as though to herself…. “Go home, M’sieu’ Voldemar, brush yourself, and don’t dare to follow me, or I shall be angry, and never again …”
Her chest was rising and falling right next to me, her hands were gently stroking my head, and suddenly—what was I feeling at that moment—her soft, fresh lips started covering my face with kisses... they brushed against my lips... But then Zinaïda probably realized from my expression that I had come to, even though I kept my eyes closed, and quickly got to her feet, saying, “Come on, get up, you naughty boy, silly, why are you lying in the dirt?” I got up. “Give me my parasol,” Zinaïda said, “I dropped it somewhere, and stop staring at me like that... what ridiculous nonsense! You’re not hurt, are you? Stung by the nettles, I guess? Stop staring at me, I’m telling you... But he doesn’t understand, he doesn’t respond,” she added as if to herself... “Go home, M’sieu’ Voldemar, brush yourself off, and don’t you dare follow me, or I’ll be angry, and never again...”
She did not finish her sentence, but walked rapidly away, while I sat down by the side of the road … my legs would not support me. The nettles had stung my hands, my back ached, and my head was giddy; but the feeling of rapture I experienced then has never come a second time in my life. It turned to a sweet ache in all my limbs and found expression at last in joyful hops and skips and shouts. Yes, I was still a child.
She didn't finish her sentence, but quickly walked away, while I sat down by the side of the road... my legs wouldn’t hold me up. The nettles had stung my hands, my back hurt, and my head was spinning; but the happiness I felt then has never happened again in my life. It turned into a sweet ache in all my limbs and finally came out in joyful hops, skips, and shouts. Yes, I was still a child.
XIII
I was so proud and light-hearted all that day, I so vividly retained on my face the feeling of Zinaïda’s kisses, with such a shudder of delight I recalled every word she had uttered, I so hugged my unexpected happiness that I felt positively afraid, positively unwilling to see her, who had given rise to these new sensations. It seemed to me that now I could ask nothing more of fate, that now I ought to “go, and draw a deep last sigh and die.” But, next day, when I went into the lodge, I felt great embarrassment, which I tried to conceal under a show of modest confidence, befitting a man who wishes to make it apparent that he knows how to keep a secret. Zinaïda received me very simply, without any emotion, she simply shook her finger at me and asked me, whether I wasn’t black and blue? All my modest confidence and air of mystery vanished instantaneously and with them my embarrassment. Of course, I had not expected anything particular, but Zinaïda’s composure was like a bucket of cold water thrown over me. I realised that in her eyes I was a child, and was extremely miserable! Zinaïda walked up and down the room, giving me a quick smile, whenever she caught my eye, but her thoughts were far away, I saw that clearly…. “Shall I begin about what happened yesterday myself,” I pondered; “ask her, where she was hurrying off so fast, so as to find out once for all” … but with a gesture of despair, I merely went and sat down in a corner.
I felt so proud and carefree all that day, with Zinaïda's kisses still fresh on my lips. I remembered every word she had said, and the thrill of it made me feel both happy and scared. The happiness was so unexpected that I didn’t want to see her again, the one who had brought these feelings. It seemed like I couldn't ask for anything more from life, that it was time to "go, take a deep sigh and die." But the next day, when I walked into the lodge, I felt a wave of embarrassment that I tried to hide behind an air of modest confidence, like a guy who wants to seem like he can keep a secret. Zinaïda greeted me simply, without any emotion. She just shook her finger at me and asked if I was bruised. Instantly, all my confidence and mystery disappeared along with my embarrassment. I didn’t really expect anything significant, but her calmness felt like a bucket of cold water splashed on me. I realized that in her eyes, I was just a kid, and I felt utterly miserable! Zinaïda paced around the room, giving me a quick smile whenever our eyes met, but her mind was clearly elsewhere. I thought about starting a conversation about what happened yesterday, asking her where she was rushing off to, just to get some clarity. But in despair, I just went and sat down in a corner.
Byelovzorov came in; I felt relieved to see him.
Byelovzorov walked in; I felt relieved to see him.
“I’ve not been able to find you a quiet horse,” he said in a sulky voice; “Freitag warrants one, but I don’t feel any confidence in it, I am afraid.”
“I haven't been able to find you a calm horse,” he said in a moody tone; “Freitag guarantees one, but I don't feel confident about it, I'm afraid.”
“What are you afraid of?” said Zinaïda; “allow me to inquire?”
“What are you afraid of?” Zinaïda asked. “Can I ask?”
“What am I afraid of? Why, you don’t know how to ride. Lord save us, what might happen! What whim is this has come over you all of a sudden?”
“What am I afraid of? Well, you don’t know how to ride. Goodness, what could happen! What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”
“Come, that’s my business, Sir Wild Beast. In that case I will ask Piotr Vassilievitch.” … (My father’s name was Piotr Vassilievitch. I was surprised at her mentioning his name so lightly and freely, as though she were confident of his readiness to do her a service.)
“Come on, that's my business, Sir Wild Beast. In that case, I'll ask Piotr Vassilievitch.” … (My father's name was Piotr Vassilievitch. I was surprised she mentioned his name so casually and freely, as if she was sure he would be willing to help her.)
“Oh, indeed,” retorted Byelovzorov, “you mean to go out riding with him then?”
“Oh, really,” replied Byelovzorov, “you plan to go out riding with him then?”
“With him or with some one else is nothing to do with you. Only not with you, anyway.”
“With him or with someone else has nothing to do with you. Just not with you, anyway.”
“Not with me,” repeated Byelovzorov. “As you wish. Well, I shall find you a horse.”
“Not with me,” Byelovzorov repeated. “As you wish. Alright, I’ll find you a horse.”
“Yes, only mind now, don’t send some old cow. I warn you I want to gallop.”
“Yes, just keep in mind, don’t send some old nag. I’m telling you, I want to ride fast.”
“Gallop away by all means … with whom is it, with Malevsky, you are going to ride?”
“Go ahead and gallop away… who are you riding with, Malevsky?”
“And why not with him, Mr. Pugnacity? Come, be quiet,” she added, “and don’t glare. I’ll take you too. You know that to my mind now Malevsky’s—ugh!” She shook her head.
“And why not with him, Mr. Pugnacity? Come on, be quiet,” she added, “and don’t glare. I’ll take you too. You know that in my opinion, Malevsky’s—ugh!” She shook her head.
“You say that to console me,” growled Byelovzorov.
“You're saying that to make me feel better,” growled Byelovzorov.
Zinaïda half closed her eyes. “Does that console you? O … O … O … Mr. Pugnacity!” she said at last, as though she could find no other word. “And you, M’sieu’ Voldemar, would you come with us?”
Zinaïda half-closed her eyes. “Does that make you feel better? O … O … O … Mr. Pugnacity!” she finally said, as if she couldn't think of any other word. “And you, M’sieu’ Voldemar, would you join us?”
“I don’t care to … in a large party,” I muttered, not raising my eyes.
“I don’t care to ... at a big party,” I mumbled, not looking up.
“You prefer a tête-à-tête?… Well, freedom to the free, and heaven to the saints,” she commented with a sigh. “Go along, Byelovzorov, and bestir yourself. I must have a horse for to-morrow.”
“You prefer a tête-à-tête?… Well, freedom to those who are free, and heaven to the saints,” she said with a sigh. “Go on, Byelovzorov, and get moving. I need a horse for tomorrow.”
“Oh, and where’s the money to come from?” put in the old princess.
“Oh, and where's the money going to come from?” added the old princess.
Zinaïda scowled.
Zinaïda frowned.
“I won’t ask you for it; Byelovzorov will trust me.”
“I won’t ask you for it; Byelovzorov will believe me.”
“He’ll trust you, will he?” … grumbled the old princess, and all of a sudden she screeched at the top of her voice, “Duniashka!”
“He’ll trust you, will he?” grumbled the old princess, and all of a sudden she yelled at the top of her lungs, “Duniashka!”
“Maman, I have given you a bell to ring,” observed Zinaïda.
“Mama, I gave you a bell to ring,” Zinaïda remarked.
“Duniashka!” repeated the old lady.
“Duniashka!” the old lady repeated.
Byelovzorov took leave; I went away with him. Zinaïda did not try to detain me.
Byelovzorov took his leave; I left with him. Zinaïda didn’t try to stop me.
XIV
The next day I got up early, cut myself a stick, and set off beyond the town-gates. I thought I would walk off my sorrow. It was a lovely day, bright and not too hot, a fresh sportive breeze roved over the earth with temperate rustle and frolic, setting all things a-flutter and harassing nothing. I wandered a long while over hills and through woods; I had not felt happy, I had left home with the intention of giving myself up to melancholy, but youth, the exquisite weather, the fresh air, the pleasure of rapid motion, the sweetness of repose, lying on the thick grass in a solitary nook, gained the upper hand; the memory of those never-to-be-forgotten words, those kisses, forced itself once more upon my soul. It was sweet to me to think that Zinaïda could not, anyway, fail to do justice to my courage, my heroism…. “Others may seem better to her than I,” I mused, “let them! But others only say what they would do, while I have done it. And what more would I not do for her?” My fancy set to work. I began picturing to myself how I would save her from the hands of enemies; how, covered with blood I would tear her by force from prison, and expire at her feet. I remembered a picture hanging in our drawing-room—Malek-Adel bearing away Matilda—but at that point my attention was absorbed by the appearance of a speckled woodpecker who climbed busily up the slender stem of a birch-tree and peeped out uneasily from behind it, first to the right, then to the left, like a musician behind the bass-viol.
The next day I woke up early, grabbed a stick, and headed out beyond the town gates. I thought I’d walk off my sadness. It was a beautiful day, bright and not too hot, with a fresh, playful breeze dancing over the earth, stirring everything gently without causing any trouble. I wandered for a long time over hills and through woods; I hadn’t felt happy, I had left home intending to give in to my gloom, but youth, the lovely weather, the fresh air, the joy of moving quickly, and the pleasure of lying on thick grass in a quiet spot took over; the memory of those unforgettable words, those kisses, pushed back into my mind. It felt good to think that Zinaïda would surely appreciate my courage, my heroism…. “Others might seem better to her than I,” I thought, “let them! But others just talk about what they might do, while I have actually done it. And what more wouldn’t I do for her?” My imagination kicked in. I started envisioning how I would rescue her from enemies; how, covered in blood, I would force her out of prison and collapse at her feet. I remembered a painting in our living room—Malek-Adel carrying off Matilda—but at that moment, my attention was caught by a spotted woodpecker busily climbing up the slender trunk of a birch tree and peeking out nervously from behind it, first to the right, then to the left, like a musician trying to see around a bass-viol.
Then I sang “Not the white snows,” and passed from that to a song well known at that period: “I await thee, when the wanton zephyr,” then I began reading aloud Yermak’s address to the stars from Homyakov’s tragedy. I made an attempt to compose something myself in a sentimental vein, and invented the line which was to conclude each verse: “O Zinaïda, Zinaïda!” but could get no further with it. Meanwhile it was getting on towards dinner-time. I went down into the valley; a narrow sandy path winding through it led to the town. I walked along this path…. The dull thud of horses’ hoofs resounded behind me. I looked round instinctively, stood still and took off my cap. I saw my father and Zinaïda. They were riding side by side. My father was saying something to her, bending right over to her, his hand propped on the horses’ neck, he was smiling. Zinaïda listened to him in silence, her eyes severely cast down, and her lips tightly pressed together. At first I saw them only; but a few instants later, Byelovzorov came into sight round a bend in the glade, he was wearing a hussar’s uniform with a pelisse, and riding a foaming black horse. The gallant horse tossed its head, snorted and pranced from side to side, his rider was at once holding him in and spurring him on. I stood aside. My father gathered up the reins, moved away from Zinaïda, she slowly raised her eyes to him, and both galloped off … Byelovzorov flew after them, his sabre clattering behind him. “He’s as red as a crab,” I reflected, “while she … why’s she so pale? out riding the whole morning, and pale?”
Then I sang “Not the white snows,” and moved on to a song popular at the time: “I await thee, when the playful breeze,” then I started reading aloud Yermak’s address to the stars from Homyakov’s tragedy. I tried to write something myself in a sentimental style and came up with the line that was supposed to end each verse: “O Zinaida, Zinaida!” but I couldn't get any further. Meanwhile, it was getting close to dinner time. I went down into the valley; a narrow sandy path winding through it led to the town. I walked along this path…. The dull thud of horses’ hooves echoed behind me. I instinctively turned around, stood still, and took off my cap. I saw my father and Zinaida. They were riding side by side. My father was saying something to her, leaning over, his hand resting on the horse's neck, smiling. Zinaida listened to him in silence, her eyes cast down seriously, and her lips pressed tightly together. At first, I only saw them; but a few moments later, Byelovzorov appeared around a bend in the glade, wearing a hussar’s uniform with a pelisse, riding a foaming black horse. The spirited horse tossed its head, snorted, and pranced from side to side, while its rider was trying to rein it in and spur it on. I stepped aside. My father gathered the reins, moved away from Zinaida, and she slowly raised her eyes to him as they both galloped off … Byelovzorov sped after them, his saber clattering behind him. “He’s as red as a lobster,” I thought, “and why is she so pale? Out riding all morning, and looking so pale?”
I redoubled my pace, and got home just at dinner-time. My father was already sitting by my mother’s chair, dressed for dinner, washed and fresh; he was reading an article from the Journal des Débats in his smooth musical voice; but my mother heard him without attention, and when she saw me, asked where I had been to all day long, and added that she didn’t like this gadding about God knows where, and God knows in what company. “But I have been walking alone,” I was on the point of replying, but I looked at my father, and for some reason or other held my peace.
I picked up my pace and got home just in time for dinner. My dad was already sitting by my mom's chair, dressed for dinner, clean and fresh; he was reading an article from the Journal des Débats in his smooth, musical voice. But my mom was listening without paying much attention, and when she saw me, she asked where I had been all day and added that she didn’t like me wandering around God knows where, with God knows who. “But I’ve been walking alone,” I was about to say, but I looked at my dad, and for some reason, I stayed quiet.
XV
For the next five or six days I hardly saw Zinaïda; she said she was ill, which did not, however, prevent the usual visitors from calling at the lodge to pay—as they expressed it, their duty—all, that is, except Meidanov, who promptly grew dejected and sulky when he had not an opportunity of being enthusiastic. Byelovzorov sat sullen and red-faced in a corner, buttoned up to the throat; on the refined face of Malevsky there flickered continually an evil smile; he had really fallen into disfavour with Zinaïda, and waited with special assiduity on the old princess, and even went with her in a hired coach to call on the Governor-General. This expedition turned out unsuccessful, however, and even led to an unpleasant experience for Malevsky; he was reminded of some scandal to do with certain officers of the engineers, and was forced in his explanations to plead his youth and inexperience at the time. Lushin came twice a day, but did not stay long; I was rather afraid of him after our last unreserved conversation, and at the same time felt a genuine attraction to him. He went a walk with me one day in the Neskutchny gardens, was very good-natured and nice, told me the names and properties of various plants and flowers, and suddenly, à propos of nothing at all, cried, hitting himself on his forehead, “And I, poor fool, thought her a flirt! it’s clear self-sacrifice is sweet for some people!”
For the next five or six days, I barely saw Zinaïda; she claimed she was sick, but that didn’t stop the usual visitors from coming to the lodge to pay—what they called their duty—all except Meidanov, who quickly became dejected and moody when he didn’t have a chance to be enthusiastic. Byelovzorov sat sulking in a corner, his face red and buttoned up to the neck; Malevsky wore a constant sly smile on his refined face; he had really fallen out of favor with Zinaïda and was now especially attentive to the old princess, even hiring a coach to go with her to visit the Governor-General. Unfortunately, this trip didn't go well, and it ended up being an uncomfortable experience for Malevsky; he was reminded of some scandal involving certain engineer officers and had to defend himself by claiming he was young and inexperienced at the time. Lushin came by twice a day but didn’t stay long; I was a bit wary of him after our last frank conversation, yet I also felt a genuine attraction to him. One day he took a walk with me in the Neskutchny gardens; he was very friendly and nice, telling me the names and properties of different plants and flowers, and suddenly, out of nowhere, he exclaimed, hitting himself on the forehead, “And I, poor fool, thought she was a flirt! Clearly, self-sacrifice is sweet for some people!”
“What do you mean by that?” I inquired.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“I don’t mean to tell you anything,” Lushin replied abruptly.
“I’m not trying to tell you anything,” Lushin replied sharply.
Zinaïda avoided me; my presence—I could not help noticing it—affected her disagreeably. She involuntarily turned away from me … involuntarily; that was what was so bitter, that was what crushed me! But there was no help for it, and I tried not to cross her path, and only to watch her from a distance, in which I was not always successful. As before, something incomprehensible was happening to her; her face was different, she was different altogether. I was specially struck by the change that had taken place in her one warm still evening. I was sitting on a low garden bench under a spreading elderbush; I was fond of that nook; I could see from there the window of Zinaïda’s room. I sat there; over my head a little bird was busily hopping about in the darkness of the leaves; a grey cat, stretching herself at full length, crept warily about the garden, and the first beetles were heavily droning in the air, which was still clear, though it was not light. I sat and gazed at the window, and waited to see if it would open; it did open, and Zinaïda appeared at it. She had on a white dress, and she herself, her face, shoulders, and arms, were pale to whiteness. She stayed a long while without moving, and looked out straight before her from under her knitted brows. I had never known such a look on her. Then she clasped her hands tightly, raised them to her lips, to her forehead, and suddenly pulling her fingers apart, she pushed back her hair behind her ears, tossed it, and with a sort of determination nodded her head, and slammed-to the window.
Zinaïda avoided me; I couldn’t help but notice that my presence made her uncomfortable. She turned away from me without meaning to… and that was what hurt so much, that was what crushed me! But there was nothing I could do, so I tried to stay out of her way and only watch her from a distance, which I didn’t always manage to do. As before, something I couldn’t understand was happening to her; her face looked different, she seemed like a different person altogether. I was especially struck by the change that occurred one warm, still evening. I was sitting on a low garden bench under a sprawling elderbush; I liked that spot because I could see Zinaïda’s window from there. I sat there while a little bird busily hopped around in the darkness of the leaves above me; a grey cat, stretched out in the sun, crept quietly around the garden, and the first beetles were buzzing heavily in the clear air, even though it was getting dark. I sat and stared at the window, waiting to see if it would open; it did, and Zinaïda appeared. She was wearing a white dress, and her face, shoulders, and arms were pale, almost white. She stood there for a long time without moving, looking straight ahead from under her knitted brows. I had never seen that look on her before. Then she tightly clasped her hands, raised them to her lips and forehead, and suddenly pulled her fingers apart, pushed her hair back behind her ears, tossed it, and, with a kind of determination, nodded her head and slammed the window shut.
Three days later she met me in the garden. I was turning away, but she stopped me of herself.
Three days later, she met me in the garden. I was about to walk away, but she stopped me herself.
“Give me your arm,” she said to me with her old affectionateness, “it’s a long while since we have had a talk together.”
“Give me your arm,” she said to me with her familiar warmth, “it’s been a while since we’ve had a chat together.”
I stole a look at her; her eyes were full of a soft light, and her face seemed as it were smiling through a mist.
I stole a glance at her; her eyes were filled with a gentle light, and her face looked like it was smiling through a haze.
“Are you still not well?” I asked her.
“Are you still not feeling well?” I asked her.
“No, that’s all over now,” she answered, and she picked a small red rose. “I am a little tired, but that too will pass off.”
“No, that’s all over now,” she replied, picking a small red rose. “I’m a bit tired, but that will pass too.”
“And will you be as you used to be again?” I asked.
“And will you be the way you used to be again?” I asked.
Zinaïda put the rose up to her face, and I fancied the reflection of its bright petals had fallen on her cheeks. “Why, am I changed?” she questioned me.
Zinaïda brought the rose to her face, and I imagined the reflection of its vibrant petals on her cheeks. “Why, have I changed?” she asked me.
“Yes, you are changed,” I answered in a low voice.
“Yes, you’ve changed,” I replied quietly.
“I have been cold to you, I know,” began Zinaïda, “but you mustn’t pay attention to that … I couldn’t help it…. Come, why talk about it!”
“I know I’ve been distant with you,” Zinaïda started, “but you shouldn’t take it personally... I couldn’t help it... Come on, let’s just move on from this!”
“You don’t want me to love you, that’s what it is!” I cried gloomily, in an involuntary outburst.
“You don’t want me to love you, that’s what it is!” I said sadly, in an unintentional outburst.
“No, love me, but not as you did.”
“No, love me, but not the way you used to.”
“How then?”
“How now?”
“Let us be friends—come now!” Zinaïda gave me the rose to smell. “Listen, you know I’m much older than you—I might be your aunt, really; well, not your aunt, but an older sister. And you …”
“Let’s be friends—come on!” Zinaïda handed me the rose to smell. “You know I’m a lot older than you—I could really be your aunt; well, not your aunt, but like an older sister. And you …”
“You think me a child,” I interrupted.
"You think I'm a child," I interrupted.
“Well, yes, a child, but a dear, good clever one, whom I love very much. Do you know what? From this day forth I confer on you the rank of page to me; and don’t you forget that pages have to keep close to their ladies. Here is the token of your new dignity,” she added, sticking the rose in the buttonhole of my jacket, “the token of my favour.”
“Well, yes, a child, but a beloved, smart one that I care for a lot. Do you know what? Starting today, I’m giving you the title of page to me; and don’t forget that pages need to stay close to their ladies. Here’s the symbol of your new status,” she said, putting the rose in the buttonhole of my jacket, “the symbol of my favor.”
“I once received other favours from you,” I muttered.
“I once received other favors from you,” I muttered.
“Ah!” commented Zinaïda, and she gave me a sidelong look, “What a memory he has! Well? I’m quite ready now …” And stooping to me, she imprinted on my forehead a pure, tranquil kiss.
“Ah!” Zinaïda said, giving me a sidelong glance, “What a memory he has! So? I’m all set now…” And leaning down, she placed a gentle, calm kiss on my forehead.
I only looked at her, while she turned away, and saying, “Follow me, my page,” went into the lodge. I followed her—all in amazement. “Can this gentle, reasonable girl,” I thought, “be the Zinaïda I used to know?” I fancied her very walk was quieter, her whole figure statelier and more graceful …
I just stared at her as she turned away, saying, “Follow me, my page,” as she went into the lodge. I followed her, completely amazed. “Is this calm, sensible girl,” I wondered, “really the Zinaïda I used to know?” I imagined her walk was softer, her whole figure more elegant and graceful…
And, mercy! with what fresh force love burned within me!
And, wow! with what new intensity love flared up inside me!
XVI
After dinner the usual party assembled again at the lodge, and the young princess came out to them. All were there in full force, just as on that first evening which I never forgot; even Nirmatsky had limped to see her; Meidanov came this time earliest of all, he brought some new verses. The games of forfeits began again, but without the strange pranks, the practical jokes and noise—the gipsy element had vanished. Zinaïda gave a different tone to the proceedings. I sat beside her by virtue of my office as page. Among other things, she proposed that any one who had to pay a forfeit should tell his dream; but this was not successful. The dreams were either uninteresting (Byelovzorov had dreamed that he fed his mare on carp, and that she had a wooden head), or unnatural and invented. Meidanov regaled us with a regular romance; there were sepulchres in it, and angels with lyres, and talking flowers and music wafted from afar. Zinaïda did not let him finish. “If we are to have compositions,” she said, “let every one tell something made up, and no pretence about it.” The first who had to speak was again Byelovzorov.
After dinner, the usual group gathered again at the lodge, and the young princess came out to join them. Everyone was there in full strength, just like that first evening I could never forget; even Nirmatsky had limped over to see her; Meidanov arrived the earliest this time, bringing some new verses. The games of forfeits started up again, but without the strange antics, practical jokes, and noise—the gipsy vibe had disappeared. Zinaïda set a different tone for the evening. I sat beside her in my role as page. Among other things, she suggested that anyone who had to pay a forfeit should share their dream; however, this didn’t go well. The dreams were either boring (Byelovzorov dreamed he was feeding his mare carp, and that she had a wooden head) or made-up and unrealistic. Meidanov entertained us with a full-on romance; it had tombs, angels with lyres, talking flowers, and music drifting from afar. Zinaïda cut him off. “If we’re going to have stories,” she said, “let everyone share something made up, no pretending.” Once again, Byelovzorov was the first to speak.
The young hussar was confused. “I can’t make up anything!” he cried.
The young hussar was puzzled. “I can’t come up with anything!” he shouted.
“What nonsense!” said Zinaïda. “Well, imagine, for instance, you are married, and tell us how you would treat your wife. Would you lock her up?”
“What nonsense!” said Zinaïda. “Well, imagine this: you’re married. How would you treat your wife? Would you lock her up?”
“Yes, I should lock her up.”
“Yes, I should lock her up.”
“And would you stay with her yourself?”
“And would you stay with her yourself?”
“Yes, I should certainly stay with her myself.”
“Yes, I should definitely stay with her myself.”
“Very good. Well, but if she got sick of that, and she deceived you?”
“Very good. But what if she got tired of that and tricked you?”
“I should kill her.”
“I should end her.”
“And if she ran away?”
"What if she runs away?"
“I should catch her up and kill her all the same.”
“I should catch up to her and kill her anyway.”
“Oh. And suppose now I were your wife, what would you do then?”
“Oh. And let’s say I were your wife, what would you do then?”
Byelovzorov was silent a minute. “I should kill myself….”
Byelovzorov was quiet for a minute. “I should just end it all….”
Zinaïda laughed. “I see yours is not a long story.”
Zinaïda laughed. “I can tell yours isn’t a long story.”
The next forfeit was Zinaïda’s. She looked at the ceiling and considered. “Well, listen, she began at last, “what I have thought of…. Picture to yourselves a magnificent palace, a summer night, and a marvellous ball. This ball is given by a young queen. Everywhere gold and marble, crystal, silk, lights, diamonds, flowers, fragrant scents, every caprice of luxury.”
The next forfeit was Zinaïda’s. She looked at the ceiling and thought for a moment. “Well, listen," she finally began, "here’s what I came up with…. Imagine a stunning palace, a summer night, and an incredible ball. This ball is hosted by a young queen. Everywhere you look, there’s gold and marble, crystal, silk, lights, diamonds, flowers, and fragrant scents—all the extravagance you can imagine.”
“You love luxury?” Lushin interposed.
“Do you love luxury?” Lushin interjected.
“Luxury is beautiful,” she retorted; “I love everything beautiful.”
“Luxury is beautiful,” she shot back; “I love everything beautiful.”
“More than what is noble?” he asked.
“More than what's noble?” he asked.
“That’s something clever, I don’t understand it. Don’t interrupt me. So the ball is magnificent. There are crowds of guests, all of them are young, handsome, and brave, all are frantically in love with the queen.”
“That's something smart; I don't get it. Don't interrupt me. So, the ball is amazing. There are crowds of guests, all of them young, good-looking, and courageous, all wildly in love with the queen.”
“Are there no women among the guests?” queried Malevsky.
“Are there no women among the guests?” Malevsky asked.
“No—or wait a minute—yes, there are some.”
“No—or hold on a second—yes, there are a few.”
“Are they all ugly?”
"Are they all unattractive?"
“No, charming. But the men are all in love with the queen. She is tall and graceful; she has a little gold diadem on her black hair.”
“No, charming. But the guys are all in love with the queen. She’s tall and graceful; she has a small gold tiara on her black hair.”
I looked at Zinaïda, and at that instant she seemed to me so much above all of us, there was such bright intelligence, and such power about her unruffled brows, that I thought: “You are that queen!”
I looked at Zinaïda, and in that moment she seemed so much above all of us; there was such bright intelligence and such power in her calm expression that I thought, “You are that queen!”
“They all throng about her,” Zinaïda went on, “and all lavish the most flattering speeches upon her.”
“They all crowd around her,” Zinaïda continued, “and they all shower her with the most flattering compliments.”
“And she likes flattery?” Lushin queried.
“And she enjoys compliments?” Lushin asked.
“What an intolerable person! he keeps interrupting … who doesn’t like flattery?”
“What an unbearable person! He keeps interrupting ... who doesn't enjoy flattery?”
“One more last question,” observed Malevsky, “has the queen a husband?”
“One last question,” Malevsky remarked, “does the queen have a husband?”
“I hadn’t thought about that. No, why should she have a husband?”
“I hadn’t thought about that. No, why would she need a husband?”
“To be sure,” assented Malevsky, “why should she have a husband?”
“Of course,” agreed Malevsky, “why does she need a husband?”
“Silence!” cried Meidanov in French, which he spoke very badly.
“Be quiet!” shouted Meidanov in French, which he spoke very poorly.
“Merci!” Zinaïda said to him. “And so the queen hears their speeches, and hears the music, but does not look at one of the guests. Six windows are open from top to bottom, from floor to ceiling, and beyond them is a dark sky with big stars, a dark garden with big trees. The queen gazes out into the garden. Out there among the trees is a fountain; it is white in the darkness, and rises up tall, tall as an apparition. The queen hears, through the talk and the music, the soft splash of its waters. She gazes and thinks: you are all, gentlemen, noble, clever, and rich, you crowd round me, you treasure every word I utter, you are all ready to die at my feet, I hold you in my power … but out there, by the fountain, by that splashing water, stands and waits he whom I love, who holds me in his power. He has neither rich raiment nor precious stones, no one knows him, but he awaits me, and is certain I shall come—and I shall come—and there is no power that could stop me when I want to go out to him, and to stay with him, and be lost with him out there in the darkness of the garden, under the whispering of the trees, and the splash of the fountain …” Zinaïda ceased.
“Thank you!” Zinaïda said to him. “And so the queen listens to their speeches and the music, but she doesn’t look at any of the guests. Six windows are open from top to bottom, floor to ceiling, revealing a dark sky filled with bright stars and a dark garden with tall trees. The queen gazes out into the garden. Out there among the trees is a fountain; it glows white in the darkness, rising high like a spirit. Through the chatter and the music, she hears the gentle splash of its waters. She looks and thinks: you are all, gentlemen, noble, smart, and wealthy, gathered around me, hanging on my every word, ready to die at my feet; I hold you in my power… but out there, by the fountain, by that splashing water, stands the one I love, who holds me in his power. He wears no fine clothes or precious gems, no one knows him, but he waits for me, and believes I will come—and I will come—and nothing can stop me when I want to go to him, to stay with him, and get lost out there in the darkness of the garden, under the whispering trees and the splashing fountain…” Zinaïda stopped.
“Is that a made-up story?” Malevsky inquired slyly. Zinaïda did not even look at him.
“Is that a made-up story?” Malevsky asked slyly. Zinaïda didn't even glance at him.
“And what should we have done, gentlemen?” Lushin began suddenly, “if we had been among the guests, and had known of the lucky fellow at the fountain?”
“And what should we have done, guys?” Lushin suddenly asked, “if we had been among the guests and had known about the lucky guy at the fountain?”
“Stop a minute, stop a minute,” interposed Zinaïda, “I will tell you myself what each of you would have done. You, Byelovzorov, would have challenged him to a duel; you, Meidanov, would have written an epigram on him … No, though, you can’t write epigrams, you would have made up a long poem on him in the style of Barbier, and would have inserted your production in the Telegraph. You, Nirmatsky, would have borrowed … no, you would have lent him money at high interest; you, doctor,…” she stopped. “There, I really don’t know what you would have done….”
“Hold on a minute, hold on a minute,” Zinaïda interrupted, “I’ll tell you what each of you would have done. You, Byelovzorov, would have challenged him to a duel; you, Meidanov, would have written a clever verse about him… No, wait, you can’t write clever verses; you would have composed a long poem in the style of Barbier and published it in the Telegraph. You, Nirmatsky, would have borrowed… no, you would have lent him money at high interest; you, doctor,…” she paused. “Honestly, I really don’t know what you would have done…”
“In the capacity of court physician,” answered Lushin, “I would have advised the queen not to give balls when she was not in the humour for entertaining her guests….”
“In my role as court physician,” Lushin replied, “I would have suggested to the queen not to hold balls when she wasn’t in the mood to entertain her guests….”
“Perhaps you would have been right. And you, Count?…”
“Maybe you were right. And you, Count?…”
“And I?” repeated Malevsky with his evil smile….
“And I?” repeated Malevsky with a wicked grin...
“You would offer him a poisoned sweetmeat.” Malevsky’s face changed slightly, and assumed for an instant a Jewish expression, but he laughed directly.
“You would give him a poisoned treat.” Malevsky's expression shifted a bit and briefly took on a Jewish look, but he laughed outright.
“And as for you, Voldemar,…” Zinaïda went on, “but that’s enough, though; let us play another game.”
“And as for you, Voldemar,” Zinaïda continued, “but that’s enough for now; let’s play another game.”
“M’sieu Voldemar, as the queen’s page, would have held up her train when she ran into the garden,” Malevsky remarked malignantly.
“M’sieu Voldemar, as the queen’s page, would have held up her train when she dashed into the garden,” Malevsky said with a sneer.
I was crimson with anger, but Zinaïda hurriedly laid a hand on my shoulder, and getting up, said in a rather shaky voice: “I have never given your excellency the right to be rude, and therefore I will ask you to leave us.” She pointed to the door.
I was furious, but Zinaïda quickly put a hand on my shoulder and stood up, saying in a somewhat shaky voice, “I’ve never given you the right to be rude, so I’m asking you to leave us.” She pointed to the door.
“Upon my word, princess,” muttered Malevsky, and he turned quite pale.
“Honestly, princess,” muttered Malevsky, and he turned really pale.
“The princess is right,” cried Byelovzorov, and he too rose.
“The princess is right,” shouted Byelovzorov, and he stood up as well.
“Good God, I’d not the least idea,” Malevsky went on, “in my words there was nothing, I think, that could … I had no notion of offending you…. Forgive me.”
“Good God, I had no idea,” Malevsky continued, “there was nothing in my words, I think, that could … I didn’t mean to offend you at all…. Forgive me.”
Zinaïda looked him up and down coldly, and coldly smiled. “Stay, then, certainly,” she pronounced with a careless gesture of her arm.
Zinaïda looked him up and down with a cold stare and smiled coldly. “Stay, then, of course,” she said with a casual flip of her arm.
“M’sieu Voldemar and I were needlessly incensed. It is your pleasure to sting … may it do you good.”
“Mister Voldemar and I were unnecessarily angered. It's your pleasure to provoke... may it benefit you.”
“Forgive me,” Malevsky repeated once more; while I, my thoughts dwelling on Zinaïda’s gesture, said to myself again that no real queen could with greater dignity have shown a presumptuous subject to the door.
“Forgive me,” Malevsky said again; while I, my mind focused on Zinaïda’s gesture, told myself once more that no true queen could have shown a presumptuous subject to the door with greater dignity.
The game of forfeits went on for a short time after this little scene; every one felt rather ill at ease, not so much on account of this scene, as from another, not quite definite, but oppressive feeling. No one spoke of it, but every one was conscious of it in himself and in his neighbour. Meidanov read us his verses; and Malevsky praised them with exaggerated warmth. “He wants to show how good he is now,” Lushin whispered to me. We soon broke up. A mood of reverie seemed to have come upon Zinaïda; the old princess sent word that she had a headache; Nirmatsky began to complain of his rheumatism….
The game of forfeits continued for a little while after this scene; everyone felt a bit uncomfortable, not so much because of the scene itself, but due to another, more vague but heavy feeling. No one mentioned it, but everyone was aware of it in themselves and in those around them. Meidanov shared his poems with us, and Malevsky praised them with over-the-top enthusiasm. “He’s just trying to show off how great he is now,” Lushin whispered to me. We quickly dispersed. Zinaïda seemed to have entered a daydream; the old princess sent word that she had a headache; Nirmatsky started to complain about his rheumatism…
I could not for a long while get to sleep. I had been impressed by Zinaïda’s story. “Can there have been a hint in it?” I asked myself: “and at whom and at what was she hinting? And if there really is anything to hint at … how is one to make up one’s mind? No, no, it can’t be,” I whispered, turning over from one hot cheek on to the other…. But I remembered the expression of Zinaïda’s face during her story…. I remembered the exclamation that had broken from Lushin in the Neskutchny gardens, the sudden change in her behaviour to me, and I was lost in conjectures. “Who is he?” These three words seemed to stand before my eyes traced upon the darkness; a lowering malignant cloud seemed hanging over me, and I felt its oppressiveness, and waited for it to break. I had grown used to many things of late; I had learned much from what I had seen at the Zasyekins; their disorderly ways, tallow candle-ends, broken knives and forks, grumpy Vonifaty, and shabby maid-servants, the manners of the old princess—all their strange mode of life no longer struck me…. But what I was dimly discerning now in Zinaïda, I could never get used to…. “An adventuress!” my mother had said of her one day. An adventuress—she, my idol, my divinity? This word stabbed me, I tried to get away from it into my pillow, I was indignant—and at the same time what would I not have agreed to, what would I not have given only to be that lucky fellow at the fountain!… My blood was on fire and boiling within me. “The garden … the fountain,” I mused…. “I will go into the garden.” I dressed quickly and slipped out of the house. The night was dark, the trees scarcely whispered, a soft chill air breathed down from the sky, a smell of fennel trailed across from the kitchen garden. I went through all the walks; the light sound of my own footsteps at once confused and emboldened me; I stood still, waited and heard my heart beating fast and loudly. At last I went up to the fence and leaned against the thin bar. Suddenly, or was it my fancy, a woman’s figure flashed by, a few paces from me … I strained my eyes eagerly into the darkness, I held my breath. What was that? Did I hear steps, or was it my heart beating again? “Who is here?” I faltered, hardly audibly. What was that again, a smothered laugh … or a rustling in the leaves … or a sigh just at my ear? I felt afraid … “Who is here?” I repeated still more softly.
I couldn't fall asleep for a long time. Zinaïda's story really stuck with me. "Could there have been a hint in it?" I kept asking myself: "And who or what was she hinting at? And if there really is something to hint at... how do I make up my mind? No, no, it can't be," I whispered, turning over from one hot cheek to the other... But I remembered the look on Zinaïda's face while she told her story... I recalled Lushin's outburst in the Neskutchny gardens, the sudden shift in how she treated me, and I was lost in thoughts. "Who is he?" Those three words seemed to stand out in the darkness; a dark, threatening cloud felt like it was hovering over me, and I could feel its weight, waiting for it to break. I had gotten used to a lot of things lately; I had learned so much from what I saw at the Zasyekins—their chaotic ways, leftover candle stubs, broken knives and forks, moody Vonifaty, and shabby maids; the old princess's manners—all their strange lifestyle didn't shock me anymore... But what I was vaguely picking up on now with Zinaïda was something I could never get used to... "An adventuress!" my mother had called her one day. An adventuress—her, my idol, my goddess? That word hit me hard; I tried to bury my face in the pillow, feeling angry—and at the same time, I would have agreed to anything, given anything just to be that lucky guy at the fountain!... My blood was on fire, boiling inside me. "The garden... the fountain," I thought... "I’ll go into the garden." I got dressed quickly and slipped out of the house. The night was dark, the trees barely stirred, a soft chill breeze came down from the sky, and the scent of fennel drifted over from the kitchen garden. I wandered through all the paths; the light sound of my footsteps both confused and emboldened me; I stopped, waited, and listened to my heart racing loudly. Finally, I approached the fence and leaned against the thin bar. Suddenly, or was it just my imagination, a woman's figure flashed by just a few steps from me... I strained my eyes into the darkness, holding my breath. What was that? Did I hear footsteps, or was it just my heart beating again? "Who’s there?" I whispered, barely making a sound. Was that a stifled laugh... or rustling in the leaves... or a sigh right next to me? I felt scared... "Who’s there?" I repeated even more softly.
The air blew in a gust for an instant; a streak of fire flashed across the sky; it was a star falling. “Zinaïda?” I wanted to call, but the word died away on my lips. And all at once everything became profoundly still around, as is often the case in the middle of the night…. Even the grasshoppers ceased their churr in the trees—only a window rattled somewhere. I stood and stood, and then went back to my room, to my chilled bed. I felt a strange sensation; as though I had gone to a tryst, and had been left lonely, and had passed close by another’s happiness.
The air suddenly gusted; a streak of fire shot across the sky; it was a falling star. “Zinaïda?” I wanted to call out, but the word faded on my lips. Then everything became completely quiet around me, as often happens in the middle of the night…. Even the crickets stopped chirping in the trees—only a window rattled somewhere. I stood there for a while, and then went back to my room, to my cold bed. I felt a strange sensation; like I had gone to a meeting and felt abandoned, having brushed past someone else's happiness.
XVII
The following day I only had a passing glimpse of Zinaïda: she was driving somewhere with the old princess in a cab. But I saw Lushin, who, however, barely vouchsafed me a greeting, and Malevsky. The young count grinned, and began affably talking to me. Of all those who visited at the lodge, he alone had succeeded in forcing his way into our house, and had favourably impressed my mother. My father did not take to him, and treated him with a civility almost insulting.
The next day, I only caught a quick glimpse of Zinaïda: she was riding somewhere with the old princess in a cab. But I saw Lushin, who, however, barely acknowledged me, and Malevsky. The young count smiled and started chatting with me in a friendly way. Out of everyone who visited the lodge, he was the only one who had managed to get into our house and made a good impression on my mother. My father wasn't fond of him and treated him with a civility that was almost insulting.
“Ah, monsieur le page,” began Malevsky, “delighted to meet you. What is your lovely queen doing?”
“Ah, mister page,” started Malevsky, “great to meet you. What’s your beautiful queen up to?”
His fresh handsome face was so detestable to me at that moment, and he looked at me with such contemptuous amusement that I did not answer him at all.
His handsome face was so annoying to me at that moment, and he looked at me with such mocking amusement that I didn't respond to him at all.
“Are you still angry?” he went on. “You’ve no reason to be. It wasn’t I who called you a page, you know, and pages attend queens especially. But allow me to remark that you perform your duties very badly.”
“Are you still angry?” he continued. “You have no reason to be. I didn’t call you a page, you know, and pages especially attend to queens. But let me just say that you carry out your responsibilities very poorly.”
“How so?”
"How come?"
“Pages ought to be inseparable from their mistresses; pages ought to know everything they do, they ought, indeed, to watch over them,” he added, lowering his voice, “day and night.”
“Pages should be inseparable from their mistresses; pages should know everything they do, they should, in fact, watch over them,” he added, lowering his voice, “day and night.”
“What do you mean?”
"What do you mean?"
“What do I mean? I express myself pretty clearly, I fancy. Day and night. By day it’s not so much matter; it’s light, and people are about in the daytime; but by night, then look out for misfortune. I advise you not to sleep at nights and to watch, watch with all your energies. You remember, in the garden, by night, at the fountain, that’s where there’s need to look out. You will thank me.”
“What do I mean? I think I express myself pretty clearly. Day and night. During the day, it’s not such a big deal; it’s light, and there are people around. But at night, that’s when you should be on guard for trouble. I suggest you don’t sleep at night and stay alert, using all your energy. Remember in the garden at night, by the fountain? That’s where you really need to be careful. You’ll be grateful for my advice.”
Malevsky laughed and turned his back on me. He, most likely, attached no great importance to what he had said to me, he had a reputation for mystifying, and was noted for his power of taking people in at masquerades, which was greatly augmented by the almost unconscious falsity in which his whole nature was steeped…. He only wanted to tease me; but every word he uttered was a poison that ran through my veins. The blood rushed to my head. “Ah! so that’s it!” I said to myself; “good! So there was reason for me to feel drawn into the garden! That shan’t be so!” I cried aloud, and struck myself on the chest with my fist, though precisely what should not be so I could not have said. “Whether Malevsky himself goes into the garden,” I thought (he was bragging, perhaps; he has insolence enough for that), “or some one else (the fence of our garden was very low, and there was no difficulty in getting over it), anyway, if any one falls into my hands, it will be the worse for him! I don’t advise any one to meet me! I will prove to all the world and to her, the traitress (I actually used the word “traitress”) that I can be revenged!”
Malevsky laughed and turned his back on me. He probably didn’t think much of what he had said; he had a knack for being mysterious and was known for his ability to fool people at parties, which was greatly enhanced by the almost unconscious dishonesty that defined his whole character. He just wanted to tease me; but every word he said was like poison running through my veins. My blood rushed to my head. “Ah! So that’s it!” I thought to myself; “good! So there was a reason for me to feel drawn to the garden! That won’t happen!” I shouted, hitting my chest with my fist, even though I couldn’t quite articulate what exactly wouldn’t happen. “Whether Malevsky actually goes into the garden” (he might be boasting; he’s arrogant enough for that), “or someone else does (the fence to our garden was pretty low, so it would be easy to get over), either way, if anyone crosses my path, they’ll regret it! I wouldn’t recommend anyone facing me! I’ll show the whole world and her, the traitor (I actually used the word “traitor”), that I can get my revenge!”
I returned to my own room, took out of the writing-table an English knife I had recently bought, felt its sharp edge, and knitting my brows with an air of cold and concentrated determination, thrust it into my pocket, as though doing such deeds was nothing out of the way for me, and not the first time. My heart heaved angrily, and felt heavy as a stone. All day long I kept a scowling brow and lips tightly compressed, and was continually walking up and down, clutching, with my hand in my pocket, the knife, which was warm from my grasp, while I prepared myself beforehand for something terrible. These new unknown sensations so occupied and even delighted me, that I hardly thought of Zinaïda herself. I was continually haunted by Aleko, the young gipsy—“Where art thou going, young handsome man? Lie there,” and then, “thou art all besprent with blood…. Oh, what hast thou done?… Naught!” With what a cruel smile I repeated that “Naught!” My father was not at home; but my mother, who had for some time past been in an almost continual state of dumb exasperation, noticed my gloomy and heroic aspect, and said to me at supper, “Why are you sulking like a mouse in a meal-tub?” I merely smiled condescendingly in reply, and thought, “If only they knew!” It struck eleven; I went to my room, but did not undress; I waited for midnight; at last it struck. “The time has come!” I muttered between my teeth; and buttoning myself up to the throat, and even pulling my sleeves up, I went into the garden.
I went back to my room, pulled out an English knife I had bought recently, ran my finger along its sharp edge, and, frowning with cold and focused determination, slipped it into my pocket like it was nothing new for me. My heart felt heavy and angry, like a stone. All day, I walked around with a dark expression and my lips pressed together, constantly pacing back and forth, gripping the warm knife in my pocket, mentally preparing for something awful. These strange, new feelings occupied and even thrilled me, so much so that I hardly thought about Zinaïda. I kept hearing Aleko, the young gypsy, saying, “Where are you going, young handsome man? Just stay there,” followed by, “you are all splattered with blood… Oh, what have you done?… Nothing!” I cruelly repeated that word “Nothing!” My father wasn’t home, but my mother, who had been in a constant state of silent frustration for a while, noticed my gloomy, heroic demeanor and asked me at dinner, “Why are you sulking like a mouse in a meal-tub?” I just smiled down at her and thought, “If only they knew!” It was almost eleven; I went to my room but didn’t change. I waited for midnight; finally, the clock struck. “The time has come!” I muttered under my breath, buttoned up my coat to the neck, rolled up my sleeves, and stepped into the garden.
I had already fixed on the spot from which to keep watch. At the end of the garden, at the point where the fence, separating our domain from the Zasyekins,’ joined the common wall, grew a pine-tree, standing alone. Standing under its low thick branches, I could see well, as far as the darkness of the night permitted, what took place around. Close by, ran a winding path which had always seemed mysterious to me; it coiled like a snake under the fence, which at that point bore traces of having been climbed over, and led to a round arbour formed of thick acacias. I made my way to the pine-tree, leaned my back against its trunk, and began my watch.
I had already chosen the spot from which to keep an eye on things. At the end of the garden, where the fence separating our property from the Zasyekins’ met the shared wall, there was a lone pine tree. Standing under its low, thick branches, I could see as far as the night’s darkness allowed me to what was happening around. Nearby, a winding path ran by, which had always seemed mysterious to me; it curled like a snake under the fence, which showed signs of having been climbed over, and led to a round arbor made of thick acacias. I made my way to the pine tree, leaned against its trunk, and started my watch.
The night was as still as the night before, but there were fewer clouds in the sky, and the outlines of bushes, even of tall flowers, could be more distinctly seen. The first moments of expectation were oppressive, almost terrible. I had made up my mind to everything. I only debated how to act; whether to thunder, “Where goest thou? Stand! show thyself—or death!” or simply to strike…. Every sound, every whisper and rustle, seemed to me portentous and extraordinary…. I prepared myself…. I bent forward…. But half-an-hour passed, an hour passed; my blood had grown quieter, colder; the consciousness that I was doing all this for nothing, that I was even a little absurd, that Malevsky had been making fun of me, began to steal over me. I left my ambush, and walked all about the garden. As if to taunt me, there was not the smallest sound to be heard anywhere; everything was at rest. Even our dog was asleep, curled up into a ball at the gate. I climbed up into the ruins of the greenhouse, saw the open country far away before me, recalled my meeting with Zinaïda, and fell to dreaming….
The night was as quiet as the previous one, but there were fewer clouds in the sky, and I could see the shapes of the bushes and even the tall flowers more clearly. The initial moments of anticipation felt heavy, almost terrifying. I had resolved to prepare for anything. I just debated how to act; whether to shout, “Where are you going? Stop! Show yourself—or else!” or simply to strike… Every sound, every whisper and rustle felt significant and unusual… I got ready… I leaned forward… But half an hour passed, then an hour; my blood had calmed down, grown colder; the realization that all of this was pointless, that I even felt a bit ridiculous, that Malevsky had been mocking me, began to wash over me. I left my hiding spot and walked around the garden. As if to mock me, there wasn't a single sound to be heard; everything was still. Even our dog was asleep, curled up into a tight ball at the gate. I climbed up into the ruins of the greenhouse, looked out at the open land in the distance, remembered my meeting with Zinaïda, and started to daydream…
I started…. I fancied I heard the creak of a door opening, then the faint crack of a broken twig. In two bounds I got down from the ruin, and stood still, all aghast. Rapid, light, but cautious footsteps sounded distinctly in the garden. They were approaching me. “Here he is … here he is, at last!” flashed through my heart. With spasmodic haste, I pulled the knife out of my pocket; with spasmodic haste, I opened it. Flashes of red were whirling before my eyes; my hair stood up on my head in my fear and fury…. The steps were coming straight towards me; I bent—I craned forward to meet him…. A man came into view…. My God! it was my father! I recognised him at once, though he was all muffled up in a dark cloak, and his hat was pulled down over his face. On tip-toe he walked by. He did not notice me, though nothing concealed me; but I was so huddled up and shrunk together that I fancy I was almost on the level of the ground. The jealous Othello, ready for murder, was suddenly transformed into a school-boy…. I was so taken aback by my father’s unexpected appearance that for the first moment I did not notice where he had come from or in what direction he disappeared. I only drew myself up, and thought, “Why is it my father is walking about in the garden at night?” when everything was still again. In my horror I had dropped my knife in the grass, but I did not even attempt to look for it; I was very much ashamed of myself. I was completely sobered at once. On my way to the house, however, I went up to my seat under the elder-tree, and looked up at Zinaïda’s window. The small slightly-convex panes of the window shone dimly blue in the faint light thrown on them by the night sky. All at once—their colour began to change…. Behind them—I saw this, saw it distinctly—softly and cautiously a white blind was let down, let down right to the window-frame, and so stayed.
I started…. I thought I heard the creak of a door opening, then the faint snap of a twig. In two quick jumps, I got down from the ruins and froze in shock. Fast, light, but cautious footsteps were clearly audible in the garden. They were coming toward me. “Here he is … here he is, at last!” raced through my mind. With frantic urgency, I pulled the knife out of my pocket; with frantic urgency, I opened it. Red flashes were swirling before my eyes; my hair stood on end from fear and anger…. The steps were coming straight towards me; I leaned forward to confront him…. A man appeared…. Oh my God! It was my father! I recognized him immediately, even though he was wrapped up in a dark cloak and his hat was pulled down over his face. He walked by on tiptoe. He didn’t see me, even though there was nothing hiding me; I was so hunched over and crammed together that I felt almost level with the ground. The jealous Othello, ready to kill, was suddenly transformed into a schoolboy…. I was so shocked by my father’s unexpected appearance that, for a moment, I didn’t notice where he had come from or in what direction he went. I just straightened up and thought, “Why is my father wandering around in the garden at night?” when everything went still again. In my panic, I had dropped my knife in the grass, but I didn’t even try to find it; I felt so ashamed of myself. I was completely sobered up in an instant. On my way back to the house, though, I stopped by my spot under the elder tree and looked up at Zinaïda’s window. The small, slightly curved panes of the window glowed dimly blue in the faint light from the night sky. Suddenly—their color began to change…. Behind them—I saw it clearly—softly and cautiously, a white blind was lowered, dropped right to the window-frame, and stayed there.
“What is that for?” I said aloud almost involuntarily when I found myself once more in my room. “A dream, a chance, or …” The suppositions which suddenly rushed into my head were so new and strange that I did not dare to entertain them.
“What’s that for?” I said out loud almost without thinking when I found myself back in my room. “A dream, a chance, or …” The thoughts that suddenly flooded my mind were so new and strange that I didn’t dare to consider them.
XVIII
I got up in the morning with a headache. My emotion of the previous day had vanished. It was replaced by a dreary sense of blankness and a sort of sadness I had not known till then, as though something had died in me.
I woke up in the morning with a headache. The emotions from the day before had faded away. They were replaced by a gloomy feeling of emptiness and a kind of sadness I hadn’t experienced until then, as if something had died inside me.
“Why is it you’re looking like a rabbit with half its brain removed?” said Lushin on meeting me. At lunch I stole a look first at my father, then at my mother: he was composed, as usual; she was, as usual, secretly irritated. I waited to see whether my father would make some friendly remarks to me, as he sometimes did…. But he did not even bestow his everyday cold greeting upon me. “Shall I tell Zinaïda all?” I wondered…. “It’s all the same, anyway; all is at an end between us.” I went to see her, but told her nothing, and, indeed, I could not even have managed to get a talk with her if I had wanted to. The old princess’s son, a cadet of twelve years old, had come from Petersburg for his holidays; Zinaïda at once handed her brother over to me. “Here,” she said, “my dear Volodya,”—it was the first time she had used this pet-name to me—“is a companion for you. His name is Volodya, too. Please, like him; he is still shy, but he has a good heart. Show him Neskutchny gardens, go walks with him, take him under your protection. You’ll do that, won’t you? you’re so good, too!” She laid both her hands affectionately on my shoulders, and I was utterly bewildered. The presence of this boy transformed me, too, into a boy. I looked in silence at the cadet, who stared as silently at me. Zinaïda laughed, and pushed us towards each other. “Embrace each other, children!” We embraced each other. “Would you like me to show you the garden?” I inquired of the cadet. “If you please,” he replied, in the regular cadet’s hoarse voice. Zinaïda laughed again…. I had time to notice that she had never had such an exquisite colour in her face before. I set off with the cadet. There was an old-fashioned swing in our garden. I sat him down on the narrow plank seat, and began swinging him. He sat rigid in his new little uniform of stout cloth, with its broad gold braiding, and kept tight hold of the cords. “You’d better unbutton your collar,” I said to him. “It’s all right; we’re used to it,” he said, and cleared his throat. He was like his sister. The eyes especially recalled her, I liked being nice to him; and at the same time an aching sadness was gnawing at my heart. “Now I certainly am a child,” I thought; “but yesterday….” I remembered where I had dropped my knife the night before, and looked for it. The cadet asked me for it, picked a thick stalk of wild parsley, cut a pipe out of it, and began whistling. Othello whistled too.
“Why do you look like a rabbit with half its brain missing?” said Lushin when he saw me. At lunch, I first glanced at my father, then at my mother: he was calm as usual; she was, as usual, secretly annoyed. I waited to see if my father would say something friendly to me like he sometimes did… but he didn’t even give me his usual cold greeting. “Should I tell Zinaïda everything?” I wondered… “It doesn’t matter anyway; it’s all over between us.” I went to see her, but said nothing, and honestly, I wouldn’t have been able to have a talk with her even if I wanted to. The old princess’s son, a twelve-year-old cadet, had come from Petersburg for his holiday; Zinaïda immediately handed her brother over to me. “Here,” she said, “my dear Volodya,”—it was the first time she used that nickname for me—“is a friend for you. His name is Volodya too. Please befriend him; he’s still shy, but he has a good heart. Show him the Neskutchny gardens, take walks with him, look after him. You’ll do that, won’t you? You’re so nice too!” She put both her hands on my shoulders affectionately, and I felt completely confused. The presence of this boy turned me back into a boy as well. I silently looked at the cadet, who was staring back at me in silence. Zinaïda laughed and nudged us toward each other. “Hug each other, kids!” We hugged. “Do you want me to show you the garden?” I asked the cadet. “If you don’t mind,” he replied in the typical hoarse voice of a cadet. Zinaïda laughed again… I had time to notice that she had never looked so radiant before. I headed off with the cadet. There was an old-fashioned swing in our garden. I sat him on the narrow seat and began to swing him. He sat stiffly in his new little uniform made of thick fabric, adorned with wide gold braid, holding tightly onto the ropes. “You should unbutton your collar,” I suggested. “It’s fine; we’re used to it,” he said, clearing his throat. He was a lot like his sister. His eyes especially reminded me of her, and I enjoyed being nice to him; but at the same time, a deep sadness was stirring in my heart. “Now I really am a child,” I thought; “but yesterday…” I remembered where I had dropped my knife the night before and started looking for it. The cadet asked me for it, picked a thick stalk of wild parsley, fashioned a pipe out of it, and began to whistle. Othello whistled too.
But in the evening how he wept, this Othello, in Zinaïda’s arms, when, seeking him out in a corner of the garden, she asked him why he was so depressed. My tears flowed with such violence that she was frightened. “What is wrong with you? What is it, Volodya?” she repeated; and seeing I made no answer, and did not cease weeping, she was about to kiss my wet cheek. But I turned away from her, and whispered through my sobs, “I know all. Why did you play with me?… What need had you of my love?”
But in the evening, how he cried, this Othello, in Zinaïda’s arms, when, finding him in a corner of the garden, she asked him why he was so down. My tears flowed so violently that she was scared. “What’s wrong with you? What is it, Volodya?” she repeated; and seeing I didn’t answer and kept crying, she was about to kiss my wet cheek. But I turned away from her and whispered through my sobs, “I know everything. Why did you play with me?… What did you need my love for?”
“I am to blame, Volodya …” said Zinaïda. “I am very much to blame …” she added, wringing her hands. “How much there is bad and black and sinful in me!… But I am not playing with you now. I love you; you don’t even suspect why and how…. But what is it you know?”
“I’m to blame, Volodya…” said Zinaïda. “I’m really to blame…” she added, wringing her hands. “There’s so much bad, dark, and sinful in me!… But I’m not messing around with you now. I love you; you don’t even realize why and how…. But what do you know?”
What could I say to her? She stood facing me, and looked at me; and I belonged to her altogether from head to foot directly she looked at me…. A quarter of an hour later I was running races with the cadet and Zinaïda. I was not crying, I was laughing, though my swollen eyelids dropped a tear or two as I laughed. I had Zinaïda’s ribbon round my neck for a cravat, and I shouted with delight whenever I succeeded in catching her round the waist. She did just as she liked with me.
What could I say to her? She faced me and looked right at me, and I felt completely hers from head to toe the moment she glanced my way…. A little later, I was racing with the cadet and Zinaïda. I wasn't crying; I was laughing, even though my swollen eyelids let a tear or two slip out while I laughed. I had Zinaïda’s ribbon tied around my neck like a scarf, and I shouted with joy every time I managed to catch her around the waist. She did whatever she wanted with me.
XIX
I should be in a great difficulty, if I were forced to describe exactly what passed within me in the course of the week after my unsuccessful midnight expedition. It was a strange feverish time, a sort of chaos, in which the most violently opposed feelings, thoughts, suspicions, hopes, joys, and sufferings, whirled together in a kind of hurricane. I was afraid to look into myself, if a boy of sixteen ever can look into himself; I was afraid to take stock of anything; I simply hastened to live through every day till evening; and at night I slept … the light-heartedness of childhood came to my aid. I did not want to know whether I was loved, and I did not want to acknowledge to myself that I was not loved; my father I avoided—but Zinaïda I could not avoid…. I burnt as in a fire in her presence … but what did I care to know what the fire was in which I burned and melted—it was enough that it was sweet to burn and melt. I gave myself up to all my passing sensations, and cheated myself, turning away from memories, and shutting my eyes to what I foreboded before me…. This weakness would not most likely have lasted long in any case … a thunderbolt cut it all short in a moment, and flung me into a new track altogether.
I would be in a tough spot if I had to describe exactly what was going on inside me during the week after my failed midnight adventure. It was a bizarre, frantic time—a whirlwind where the most conflicting feelings, thoughts, doubts, hopes, joys, and pains all mixed together like a storm. I was scared to look inside myself, if a sixteen-year-old can even do that; I didn’t want to face anything—I just rushed to get through each day until evening. At night, I slept… and the carefree nature of childhood helped me out. I didn’t want to know if I was loved, and I didn’t want to admit to myself that I wasn’t loved; I kept my distance from my father, but I couldn’t avoid Zinaïda... I felt like I was burning in her presence... but I didn’t care to understand what that fire was; it was enough that it felt good to burn and melt. I surrendered myself to all my fleeting feelings and deceived myself by turning away from memories, shutting my eyes to what I feared was coming... This weakness probably wouldn’t have lasted long anyway... a sudden shock ended it all in an instant and pushed me onto a completely new path.
Coming in one day to dinner from a rather long walk, I learnt with amazement that I was to dine alone, that my father had gone away and my mother was unwell, did not want any dinner, and had shut herself up in her bedroom. From the faces of the footmen, I surmised that something extraordinary had taken place…. I did not dare to cross-examine them, but I had a friend in the young waiter Philip, who was passionately fond of poetry, and a performer on the guitar. I addressed myself to him. From him I learned that a terrible scene had taken place between my father and mother (and every word had been overheard in the maids’ room; much of it had been in French, but Masha the lady’s-maid had lived five years’ with a dressmaker from Paris, and she understood it all); that my mother had reproached my father with infidelity, with an intimacy with the young lady next door, that my father at first had defended himself, but afterwards had lost his temper, and he too had said something cruel, “reflecting on her age,” which had made my mother cry; that my mother too had alluded to some loan which it seemed had been made to the old princess, and had spoken very ill of her and of the young lady too, and that then my father had threatened her. “And all the mischief,” continued Philip, “came from an anonymous letter; and who wrote it, no one knows, or else there’d have been no reason whatever for the matter to have come out at all.”
Coming home one day after a long walk, I was shocked to find out that I would be eating dinner alone. My dad had left, and my mom was unwell, didn’t want to eat, and had locked herself in her bedroom. The expressions on the footmen's faces made me suspect that something out of the ordinary had happened. I didn’t want to pry into their business, but I had a friend in the young waiter, Philip, who loved poetry and played the guitar. I turned to him for answers. He told me that a terrible argument had occurred between my parents, and the maidservants had overheard every word. Much of it was in French, but Masha, the lady’s maid, understood it all since she had lived with a dressmaker from Paris for five years. He explained that my mom had accused my dad of cheating, specifically with the young lady next door. Initially, my dad defended himself, but then he lost his cool and said something hurtful about her age that made my mom cry. My mom also brought up some loan that had apparently been given to the old princess and spoke badly about her and the young lady. Then my dad had threatened her. “And all the trouble,” Philip added, “started with an anonymous letter. Nobody knows who wrote it, or else there wouldn’t have been any reason for this situation to come up at all.”
“But was there really any ground,” I brought out with difficulty, while my hands and feet went cold, and a sort of shudder ran through my inmost being.
“But was there really any reason,” I managed to say with difficulty, while my hands and feet grew cold, and a shiver ran through my very soul.
Philip winked meaningly. “There was. There’s no hiding those things; for all that your father was careful this time—but there, you see, he’d, for instance, to hire a carriage or something … no getting on without servants, either.”
Philip winked knowingly. “There was. You can’t hide those things; even though your father tried to be careful this time—but then, you see, he had to hire a carriage or something… you can’t get by without servants, either.”
I dismissed Philip, and fell on to my bed. I did not sob, I did not give myself up to despair; I did not ask myself when and how this had happened; I did not wonder how it was I had not guessed it before, long ago; I did not even upbraid my father…. What I had learnt was more than I could take in; this sudden revelation stunned me…. All was at an end. All the fair blossoms of my heart were roughly plucked at once, and lay about me, flung on the ground, and trampled underfoot.
I sent Philip away and collapsed onto my bed. I didn’t cry, I didn’t let myself sink into despair; I didn’t question when or how this happened; I didn’t wonder why I hadn’t figured it out before, a long time ago; I didn’t even blame my father… What I had learned was more than I could process; this sudden revelation left me in shock… Everything was over. All the beautiful dreams of my heart were suddenly ripped away, scattered around me, tossed on the ground, and trampled underfoot.
XX
My mother next day announced her intention of returning to the town. In the morning my father had gone into her bedroom, and stayed there a long while alone with her. No one had overheard what he said to her; but my mother wept no more; she regained her composure, and asked for food, but did not make her appearance nor change her plans. I remember I wandered about the whole day, but did not go into the garden, and never once glanced at the lodge, and in the evening I was the spectator of an amazing occurrence: my father conducted Count Malevsky by the arm through the dining-room into the hall, and, in the presence of a footman, said icily to him: “A few days ago your excellency was shown the door in our house; and now I am not going to enter into any kind of explanation with you, but I have the honour to announce to you that if you ever visit me again, I shall throw you out of window. I don’t like your handwriting.” The count bowed, bit his lips, shrank away, and vanished.
My mother announced the next day that she planned to return to town. In the morning, my father went into her bedroom and stayed there alone with her for a long time. No one heard what he said to her, but my mother stopped crying; she composed herself and asked for food, though she didn’t show herself or change her plans. I remember wandering around the whole day, but I didn’t go into the garden and didn’t glance at the lodge at all. In the evening, I witnessed something incredible: my father led Count Malevsky by the arm through the dining room into the hall, and in front of a footman, he coldly said to him: “A few days ago, your excellency was shown out of our house; and now, I won’t explain anything to you, but I must inform you that if you ever visit me again, I will throw you out of the window. I don’t like your handwriting.” The count bowed, bit his lips, shrank away, and disappeared.
Preparations were beginning for our removal to town, to Arbaty Street, where we had a house. My father himself probably no longer cared to remain at the country house; but clearly he had succeeded in persuading my mother not to make a public scandal. Everything was done quietly, without hurry; my mother even sent her compliments to the old princess, and expressed her regret that she was prevented by indisposition from seeing her again before her departure. I wandered about like one possessed, and only longed for one thing, for it all to be over as soon as possible. One thought I could not get out of my head: how could she, a young girl, and a princess too, after all, bring herself to such a step, knowing that my father was not a free man, and having an opportunity of marrying, for instance, Byelovzorov? What did she hope for? How was it she was not afraid of ruining her whole future? Yes, I thought, this is love, this is passion, this is devotion … and Lushin’s words came back to me: to sacrifice oneself for some people is sweet. I chanced somehow to catch sight of something white in one of the windows of the lodge…. “Can it be Zinaïda’s face?” I thought … yes, it really was her face. I could not restrain myself. I could not part from her without saying a last good-bye to her. I seized a favourable instant, and went into the lodge.
Preparations were starting for our move to town, to Arbaty Street, where we had a house. My father probably didn’t really want to stay at the country house anymore; but it was clear he had managed to convince my mother not to create a public scandal. Everything was done quietly, without rushing; my mother even sent her regards to the old princess and expressed her regret that she couldn't see her again before leaving due to feeling unwell. I wandered around aimlessly, just wanting it all to be over as soon as possible. One thought kept nagging at me: how could she, a young girl and a princess, take such a step knowing that my father wasn’t free, especially when she had the chance to marry someone like Byelovzorov? What was she hoping for? How could she risk ruining her entire future? Yes, I thought, this is love, this is passion, this is devotion… and Lushin’s words echoed in my mind: sacrificing oneself for certain people is sweet. I somehow caught a glimpse of something white in one of the lodge windows... “Could it be Zinaïda’s face?” I thought... yes, it really was her face. I couldn’t hold back. I couldn’t leave without saying one last goodbye to her. I took the chance and went into the lodge.
In the drawing-room the old princess met me with her usual slovenly and careless greetings.
In the living room, the old princess greeted me, as always, in her usual messy and indifferent way.
“How’s this, my good man, your folks are off in such a hurry?” she observed, thrusting snuff into her nose. I looked at her, and a load was taken off my heart. The word “loan,” dropped by Philip, had been torturing me. She had no suspicion … at least I thought so then. Zinaïda came in from the next room, pale, and dressed in black, with her hair hanging loose; she took me by the hand without a word, and drew me away with her.
“How’s this, my good man, your people are in such a hurry?” she said, putting snuff up her nose. I looked at her, and I felt a weight lift off my heart. The word “loan,” mentioned by Philip, had been bothering me. She had no idea … at least that’s what I thought then. Zinaïda came in from the next room, looking pale and dressed in black, with her hair down; she took my hand without saying anything and led me away.
“I heard your voice,” she began, “and came out at once. Is it so easy for you to leave us, bad boy?”
“I heard your voice,” she said, “and came out right away. Is it that easy for you to leave us, you troublemaker?”
“I have come to say good-bye to you, princess,” I answered, “probably for ever. You have heard, perhaps, we are going away.”
“I’ve come to say goodbye to you, princess,” I replied, “probably forever. You’ve heard, I assume, that we're leaving.”
Zinaïda looked intently at me.
Zinaïda stared at me.
“Yes, I have heard. Thanks for coming. I was beginning to think I should not see you again. Don’t remember evil against me. I have sometimes tormented you, but all the same I am not what you imagine me.” She turned away, and leaned against the window.
“Yes, I’ve heard. Thanks for coming. I was starting to think I wouldn’t see you again. Don’t hold any grudges against me. I’ve tormented you at times, but I’m not exactly what you think I am.” She turned away and leaned against the window.
“Really, I am not like that. I know you have a bad opinion of me.”
“Honestly, I'm not like that. I understand you have a negative opinion of me.”
“I?”
“Me?”
“Yes, you … you.”
“Yes, you … you.”
“I?” I repeated mournfully, and my heart throbbed as of old under the influence of her overpowering, indescribable fascination. “I? Believe me, Zinaïda Alexandrovna, whatever you did, however you tormented me, I should love and adore you to the end of my days.”
“I?” I echoed sadly, and my heart raced as it used to under her overwhelming, indescribable charm. “I? Trust me, Zinaïda Alexandrovna, no matter what you did, no matter how you tormented me, I would love and adore you for the rest of my life.”
She turned with a rapid motion to me, and flinging wide her arms, embraced my head, and gave me a warm and passionate kiss. God knows whom that long farewell kiss was seeking, but I eagerly tasted its sweetness. I knew that it would never be repeated. “Good-bye, good-bye,” I kept saying …
She quickly turned to me, throwing her arms wide open, embraced my head, and gave me a warm, passionate kiss. God knows who that long goodbye kiss was meant for, but I eagerly savored its sweetness. I knew it would never happen again. “Goodbye, goodbye,” I kept repeating …
She tore herself away, and went out. And I went away. I cannot describe the emotion with which I went away. I should not wish it ever to come again; but I should think myself unfortunate had I never experienced such an emotion.
She pulled herself away and went outside. And I walked away. I can't explain the feeling I had as I left. I wouldn’t want to feel that way again, but I would consider myself unlucky if I had never felt it at all.
We went back to town. I did not quickly shake off the past; I did not quickly get to work. My wound slowly began to heal; but I had no ill-feeling against my father. On the contrary he had, as it were, gained in my eyes … let psychologists explain the contradiction as best they can. One day I was walking along a boulevard, and to my indescribable delight, I came across Lushin. I liked him for his straightforward and unaffected character, and besides he was dear to me for the sake of the memories he aroused in me. I rushed up to him. “Aha!” he said, knitting his brows,” so it’s you, young man. Let me have a look at you. You’re still as yellow as ever, but yet there’s not the same nonsense in your eyes. You look like a man, not a lap-dog. That’s good. Well, what are you doing? working?”
We went back to town. I didn’t quickly shake off the past; I didn’t immediately get to work. My wound slowly started to heal; but I had no bad feelings toward my father. On the contrary, he seemed to have gained my respect … let psychologists explain the contradiction however they can. One day, I was walking along a boulevard, and to my indescribable delight, I ran into Lushin. I liked him for his straightforward and genuine nature, and also because he held special memories for me. I rushed up to him. “Aha!” he said, furrowing his brow, “so it’s you, young man. Let me take a look at you. You’re still as pale as ever, but there’s a new maturity in your eyes. You look like a man, not a lapdog. That’s good. So, what are you up to? Working?”
I gave a sigh. I did not like to tell a lie, while I was ashamed to tell the truth.
I sighed. I didn't want to lie, but I felt embarrassed to tell the truth.
“Well, never mind,” Lushin went on, “don’t be shy. The great thing is to lead a normal life, and not be the slave of your passions. What do you get if not? Wherever you are carried by the tide—it’s all a bad look-out; a man must stand on his own feet, if he can get nothing but a rock to stand on. Here, I’ve got a cough … and Byelovzorov—have you heard anything of him?”
“Well, forget it,” Lushin continued, “don’t be embarrassed. The key is to live a normal life and not be controlled by your desires. What do you gain if you don’t? Wherever the current takes you—it’s all a terrible situation; a person needs to stand on their own two feet, even if all they have is a rock to stand on. By the way, I have this cough… and Byelovzorov—have you heard anything about him?”
“No. What is it?”
“No. What’s up?”
“He’s lost, and no news of him; they say he’s gone away to the Caucasus. A lesson to you, young man. And it’s all from not knowing how to part in time, to break out of the net. You seem to have got off very well. Mind you don’t fall into the same snare again. Good-bye.”
“He’s missing, and there’s no word about him; they say he went off to the Caucasus. Take this as a lesson, young man. It all comes from not knowing how to say goodbye at the right moment, from getting caught in the trap. You’ve managed to escape pretty well. Just make sure you don’t get caught in the same trap again. Goodbye.”
“I shan’t,” I thought…. “I shan’t see her again.” But I was destined to see Zinaïda once more.
“I won’t,” I thought…. “I won’t see her again.” But I was meant to see Zinaïda once more.
XXI
My father used every day to ride out on horse-back. He had a splendid English mare, a chestnut piebald, with a long slender neck and long legs, an inexhaustible and vicious beast. Her name was Electric. No one could ride her except my father. One day he came up to me in a good humour, a frame of mind in which I had not seen him for a long while; he was getting ready for his ride, and had already put on his spurs. I began entreating him to take me with him.
My dad used to ride out on horseback every day. He had an amazing English mare, a chestnut piebald with a long, slender neck and long legs, a wild and tireless creature. Her name was Electric. No one could ride her except my dad. One day, he came up to me in a really good mood, a state I hadn’t seen him in for a while; he was getting ready for his ride and had already put on his spurs. I started begging him to take me with him.
“We’d much better have a game of leap-frog,” my father replied. “You’ll never keep up with me on your cob.”
“We should just play leapfrog,” my dad replied. “You’ll never keep up with me on your horse.”
“Yes, I will; I’ll put on spurs too.”
“Yes, I will; I’ll wear spurs too.”
“All right, come along then.”
"Okay, let’s go then."
We set off. I had a shaggy black horse, strong, and fairly spirited. It is true it had to gallop its utmost, when Electric went at full trot, still I was not left behind. I have never seen any one ride like my father; he had such a fine carelessly easy seat, that it seemed that the horse under him was conscious of it, and proud of its rider. We rode through all the boulevards, reached the “Maidens’ Field,” jumped several fences (at first I had been afraid to take a leap, but my father had a contempt for cowards, and I soon ceased to feel fear), twice crossed the river Moskva, and I was under the impression that we were on our way home, especially as my father of his own accord observed that my horse was tired, when suddenly he turned off away from me at the Crimean ford, and galloped along the river-bank. I rode after him. When he had reached a high stack of old timber, he slid quickly off Electric, told me to dismount, and giving me his horse’s bridle, told me to wait for him there at the timber-stack, and, turning off into a small street, disappeared. I began walking up and down the river-bank, leading the horses, and scolding Electric, who kept pulling, shaking her head, snorting and neighing as she went; and when I stood still, never failed to paw the ground, and whining, bite my cob on the neck; in fact she conducted herself altogether like a spoilt thorough-bred. My father did not come back. A disagreeable damp mist rose from the river; a fine rain began softly blowing up, and spotting with tiny dark flecks the stupid grey timber-stack, which I kept passing and repassing, and was deadly sick of by now. I was terribly bored, and still my father did not come. A sort of sentry-man, a Fin, grey all over like the timber, and with a huge old-fashioned shako, like a pot, on his head, and with a halberd (and how ever came a sentry, if you think of it, on the banks of the Moskva!) drew near, and turning his wrinkled face, like an old woman’s, towards me, he observed, “What are you doing here with the horses, young master? Let me hold them.”
We set off. I was riding a shaggy black horse, strong and pretty lively. Even though it had to run its hardest when Electric was trotting at full speed, I wasn't left behind. I've never seen anyone ride like my dad; he had such a relaxed, easy posture that it seemed like the horse beneath him was aware of it and proud to have him as a rider. We rode through all the boulevards, made it to the “Maidens’ Field,” jumped over several fences (at first I was scared to leap, but my dad looked down on cowards, so I quickly got over my fear), crossed the Moskva River twice, and I thought we were heading home, especially since my dad mentioned that my horse was getting tired. Suddenly, he veered off without saying anything and galloped along the riverbank. I followed him. When we reached a high stack of old timber, he quickly hopped off Electric, told me to get down, handed me his horse's bridle, and asked me to wait for him there at the timber stack before turning into a small street and disappearing. I started pacing up and down the riverbank, leading the horses and scolding Electric, who kept pulling, shaking her head, snorting, and neighing as we went. Whenever I stopped, she would paw the ground and nibble my cob on the neck; basically, she acted like a spoiled thoroughbred. My dad still hadn't come back. A damp mist was rising from the river, a light rain started gently drizzling, leaving tiny dark spots on the boring gray timber stack that I kept walking past and was getting really tired of. I was incredibly bored, and my dad still wasn't back. A sort of sentry, a Finnish guy all gray like the timber, wearing an old-fashioned pot-like hat and holding a halberd (and honestly, how did a sentry get here on the banks of the Moskva?), approached me. Turning his wrinkled face, which looked like an old woman's, toward me, he asked, “What are you doing here with the horses, young master? Let me hold them.”
I made him no reply. He asked me for tobacco. To get rid of him (I was in a fret of impatience, too), I took a few steps in the direction in which my father had disappeared, then walked along the little street to the end, turned the corner, and stood still. In the street, forty paces from me, at the open window of a little wooden house, stood my father, his back turned to me; he was leaning forward over the window-sill, and in the house, half hidden by a curtain, sat a woman in a dark dress talking to my father; this woman was Zinaïda.
I didn’t respond to him. He asked me for tobacco. To get him to leave (I was feeling pretty impatient too), I took a few steps in the direction where my dad had gone, then walked down the small street to the end, turned the corner, and stopped. In the street, about forty paces away, at the open window of a small wooden house, stood my dad, with his back to me; he was leaning over the window-sill, and inside the house, partially hidden by a curtain, sat a woman in a dark dress talking to my dad; this woman was Zinaïda.
I was petrified. This, I confess, I had never expected. My first impulse was to run away. “My father will look round,” I thought, “and I am lost …” but a strange feeling—a feeling stronger than curiosity, stronger than jealousy, stronger even than fear—held me there. I began to watch; I strained my ears to listen. It seemed as though my father were insisting on something. Zinaïda would not consent. I seem to see her face now—mournful, serious, lovely, and with an inexpressible impress of devotion, grief, love, and a sort of despair—I can find no other word for it. She uttered monosyllables, not raising her eyes, simply smiling—submissively, but without yielding. By that smile alone, I should have known my Zinaïda of old days. My father shrugged his shoulders, and straightened his hat on his head, which was always a sign of impatience with him…. Then I caught the words: “Vous devez vous séparer de cette…” Zinaïda sat up, and stretched out her arm…. Suddenly, before my very eyes, the impossible happened. My father suddenly lifted the whip, with which he had been switching the dust off his coat, and I heard a sharp blow on that arm, bare to the elbow. I could scarcely restrain myself from crying out; while Zinaïda shuddered, looked without a word at my father, and slowly raising her arm to her lips, kissed the streak of red upon it. My father flung away the whip, and running quickly up the steps, dashed into the house…. Zinaïda turned round, and with outstretched arms and downcast head, she too moved away from the window.
I was terrified. I admit, I never expected this. My first instinct was to run away. “My dad will look around,” I thought, “and I’m finished…” But a strange feeling—stronger than curiosity, stronger than jealousy, even stronger than fear—kept me there. I started to watch; I strained to listen. It seemed like my dad was insisting on something. Zinaïda wasn’t agreeing. I can still picture her face—sorrowful, serious, beautiful, with an indescribable mix of devotion, grief, love, and a sort of despair—I can’t find another word for it. She spoke in short words, not looking up, just smiling—submissively, but without giving in. From that smile alone, I would have recognized my Zinaïda from the past. My dad shrugged, adjusting his hat, which was always a sign of impatience for him… Then I caught the words: “Vous devez vous séparer de cette…” Zinaïda sat up and reached out her arm… Suddenly, right in front of me, the impossible happened. My dad suddenly lifted the whip he’d been using to dust off his coat, and I heard a sharp crack on that arm, bare to the elbow. I could barely stop myself from shouting; Zinaïda shuddered, looked silently at my dad, and slowly raised her arm to her lips, kissing the red mark on it. My dad threw the whip away and rushed quickly up the steps, bursting into the house… Zinaïda turned away, and with outstretched arms and her head down, she too walked away from the window.
My heart sinking with panic, with a sort of awe-struck horror, I rushed back, and running down the lane, almost letting go my hold of Electric, went back to the bank of the river. I could not think clearly of anything. I knew that my cold and reserved father was sometimes seized by fits of fury; and all the same, I could never comprehend what I had just seen…. But I felt at the time that, however long I lived, I could never forget the gesture, the glance, the smile, of Zinaïda; that her image, this image so suddenly presented to me, was imprinted for ever on my memory. I stared vacantly at the river, and never noticed that my tears were streaming. “She is beaten,” I was thinking,… “beaten … beaten….”
My heart raced with panic and awe-struck horror as I hurried back, almost losing my grip on Electric while running down the lane to the riverbank. I couldn't think clearly about anything. I knew my cold and distant father sometimes flew into fits of rage, yet I couldn't understand what I had just witnessed…. But in that moment, I felt that no matter how long I lived, I would never forget the gesture, the look, the smile of Zinaïda; that her image, so suddenly revealed to me, was forever etched in my memory. I stared blankly at the river, not even realizing my tears were flowing. “She is beaten,” I thought,… “beaten … beaten….”
“Hullo! what are you doing? Give me the mare!” I heard my father’s voice saying behind me.
“Helo! What are you doing? Give me the mare!” I heard my father’s voice say behind me.
Mechanically I gave him the bridle. He leaped on to Electric … the mare, chill with standing, reared on her haunches, and leaped ten feet away … but my father soon subdued her; he drove the spurs into her sides, and gave her a blow on the neck with his fist…. “Ah, I’ve no whip,” he muttered.
Mechanically, I handed him the bridle. He jumped onto Electric… the mare, stiff from standing, reared up on her back legs and jumped ten feet away… but my father quickly calmed her down; he dug his spurs into her sides and hit her neck with his fist… “Ah, I don’t have a whip,” he muttered.
I remembered the swish and fall of the whip, heard so short a time before, and shuddered.
I remembered the swish and fall of the whip, which I had heard just a moment ago, and shuddered.
“Where did you put it?” I asked my father, after a brief pause.
“Where did you put it?” I asked my dad, after a short pause.
My father made no answer, and galloped on ahead. I overtook him. I felt that I must see his face.
My father didn't respond and rode ahead quickly. I caught up to him. I felt like I had to see his face.
“Were you bored waiting for me?” he muttered through his teeth.
“Were you bored waiting for me?” he muttered through clenched teeth.
“A little. Where did you drop your whip?” I asked again.
“A little. Where did you drop your whip?” I asked again.
My father glanced quickly at me. “I didn’t drop it,” he replied; “I threw it away.” He sank into thought, and dropped his head … and then, for the first, and almost for the last time, I saw how much tenderness and pity his stern features were capable of expressing.
My dad looked at me for a moment. “I didn’t drop it,” he said; “I threw it away.” He fell into deep thought and bowed his head … and then, for the first and almost the last time, I saw just how much tenderness and pity his tough exterior could show.
He galloped on again, and this time I could not overtake him; I got home a quarter-of-an-hour after him.
He galloped off again, and this time I couldn't catch up to him; I got home fifteen minutes after he did.
“That’s love,” I said to myself again, as I sat at night before my writing-table, on which books and papers had begun to make their appearance; “that’s passion!… To think of not revolting, of bearing a blow from any one whatever … even the dearest hand! But it seems one can, if one loves…. While I … I imagined …”
“That's love,” I told myself again, as I sat at my writing desk at night, where books and papers had started to pile up; “that's passion!... To think of not resisting, of taking a hit from anyone... even the person I love most! But I guess it’s possible if you truly love someone…. While I … I imagined …”
I had grown much older during the last month; and my love, with all its transports and sufferings, struck me myself as something small and childish and pitiful beside this other unimagined something, which I could hardly fully grasp, and which frightened me like an unknown, beautiful, but menacing face, which one strives in vain to make out clearly in the half-darkness….
I had aged a lot over the past month; and my love, with all its highs and lows, felt to me like something small, childish, and pitiful compared to this other unimaginable thing, which I could barely understand and which scared me like an unknown, beautiful, but threatening face that one tries in vain to see clearly in the dim light….
A strange and fearful dream came to me that same night. I dreamed I went into a low dark room…. My father was standing with a whip in his hand, stamping with anger; in the corner crouched Zinaïda, and not on her arm, but on her forehead, was a stripe of red … while behind them both towered Byelovzorov, covered with blood; he opened his white lips, and wrathfully threatened my father.
A strange and terrifying dream came to me that same night. I dreamed I entered a dimly lit room…. My father was standing there with a whip in his hand, fuming with anger; in the corner, Zinaïda was crouched down, and instead of on her arm, there was a red mark on her forehead… while behind them loomed Byelovzorov, covered in blood; he opened his white lips and angrily threatened my father.
Two months later, I entered the university; and within six months my father died of a stroke in Petersburg, where he had just moved with my mother and me. A few days before his death he received a letter from Moscow which threw him into a violent agitation…. He went to my mother to beg some favour of her: and, I was told, he positively shed tears—he, my father! On the very morning of the day when he was stricken down, he had begun a letter to me in French. “My son,” he wrote to me, “fear the love of woman; fear that bliss, that poison….” After his death, my mother sent a considerable sum of money to Moscow.
Two months later, I started university, and within six months, my father died of a stroke in Petersburg, where he had just moved with my mother and me. A few days before he passed away, he got a letter from Moscow that really upset him. He went to my mother to ask her for a favor, and I heard he actually cried—he, my father! On the very morning he was struck down, he had begun writing me a letter in French. “My son,” he wrote, “beware of a woman's love; be wary of that happiness, that poison….” After he died, my mother sent a significant amount of money to Moscow.
XXII
Four years passed. I had just left the university, and did not know exactly what to do with myself, at what door to knock; I was hanging about for a time with nothing to do. One fine evening I met Meidanov at the theatre. He had got married, and had entered the civil service; but I found no change in him. He fell into ecstasies in just the same superfluous way, and just as suddenly grew depressed again.
Four years went by. I had just graduated from university, and I wasn't sure what to do next or where to turn; I was just wandering around for a while with no purpose. One lovely evening, I saw Meidanov at the theater. He had gotten married and started working in the civil service, but he seemed the same to me. He still got excited in the same pointless way and just as suddenly became down again.
“You know,” he told me among other things, “Madame Dolsky’s here.”
“You know,” he told me among other things, “Madame Dolsky’s here.”
“What Madame Dolsky?”
"What about Madame Dolsky?"
“Can you have forgotten her?—the young Princess Zasyekin whom we were all in love with, and you too. Do you remember at the country-house near Neskutchny gardens?”
“Can you have forgotten her?—the young Princess Zasyekin whom we were all in love with, and you too. Do you remember at the country house near Neskutchny gardens?”
“She married a Dolsky?”
"She married a Dolsky?"
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“And is she here, in the theatre?”
“And is she here, at the theater?”
“No: but she’s in Petersburg. She came here a few days ago. She’s going abroad.”
"No, but she's in Petersburg. She arrived here a few days ago. She's going overseas."
“What sort of fellow is her husband?” I asked.
“What kind of guy is her husband?” I asked.
“A splendid fellow, with property. He’s a colleague of mine in Moscow. You can well understand—after the scandal … you must know all about it …” (Meidanov smiled significantly) “it was no easy task for her to make a good marriage; there were consequences … but with her cleverness, everything is possible. Go and see her; she’ll be delighted to see you. She’s prettier than ever.”
“A great guy with some property. He’s a colleague of mine in Moscow. You can imagine—after the scandal … you must have heard all about it …” (Meidanov smiled knowingly) “it wasn’t easy for her to land a good marriage; there were repercussions … but with her smarts, anything can happen. Go see her; she’ll be thrilled to see you. She’s more beautiful than ever.”
Meidanov gave me Zinaïda’s address. She was staying at the Hotel Demut. Old memories were astir within me…. I determined next day to go to see my former “flame.” But some business happened to turn up; a week passed, and then another, and when at last I went to the Hotel Demut and asked for Madame Dolsky, I learnt that four days before, she had died, almost suddenly, in childbirth.
Meidanov gave me Zinaïda’s address. She was staying at the Hotel Demut. Old memories were stirring within me… I decided the next day to visit my former “flame.” But something came up; a week passed, and then another, and when I finally went to the Hotel Demut and asked for Madame Dolsky, I learned that four days earlier, she had died, almost suddenly, during childbirth.
I felt a sort of stab at my heart. The thought that I might have seen her, and had not seen her, and should never see her—that bitter thought stung me with all the force of overwhelming reproach. “She is dead!” I repeated, staring stupidly at the hall-porter. I slowly made my way back to the street, and walked on without knowing myself where I was going. All the past swam up and rose at once before me. So this was the solution, this was the goal to which that young, ardent, brilliant life had striven, all haste and agitation! I mused on this; I fancied those dear features, those eyes, those curls—in the narrow box, in the damp underground darkness—lying here, not far from me—while I was still alive, and, maybe, a few paces from my father…. I thought all this; I strained my imagination, and yet all the while the lines:
I felt a sharp pain in my heart. The thought that I might have seen her, but hadn’t, and would never see her again—that painful thought hit me hard with an overwhelming sense of guilt. “She is dead!” I kept repeating, staring blankly at the hall-porter. I slowly made my way back to the street and walked on without really knowing where I was going. Memories from the past flooded back to me all at once. So this was the end, this was the destination that young, passionate, vibrant life had been striving for, amidst all the rush and chaos! I thought about this; I imagined those beloved features, those eyes, those curls—in the narrow coffin, in the damp underground darkness—lying there, not far from me—while I was still alive, and maybe just a few steps away from my father…. I thought all this; I pushed my imagination, and yet all the while the lines:
“From lips indifferent of her death I heard,
Indifferently I listened to it, too,”
“From lips uncaring about her death I heard,
Uncaringly I listened to it as well,”
were echoing in my heart. O youth, youth! little dost thou care for anything; thou art master, as it were, of all the treasures of the universe—even sorrow gives thee pleasure, even grief thou canst turn to thy profit; thou art self-confident and insolent; thou sayest, “I alone am living—look you!”—but thy days fly by all the while, and vanish without trace or reckoning; and everything in thee vanishes, like wax in the sun, like snow…. And, perhaps, the whole secret of thy charm lies, not in being able to do anything, but in being able to think thou wilt do anything; lies just in thy throwing to the winds, forces which thou couldst not make other use of; in each of us gravely regarding himself as a prodigal, gravely supposing that he is justified in saying, “Oh, what might I not have done if I had not wasted my time!”
were echoing in my heart. Oh youth, youth! You really don't care about anything; you feel like you’re the master of all the treasures in the universe—even sorrow brings you joy, and you can somehow benefit from grief. You’re self-assured and a bit arrogant; you say, “I’m the only one truly alive—look at me!”—but your days just fly by and disappear without a trace or a second thought; everything in you fades away, like wax in the sun, like snow.... And maybe the whole secret of your charm isn't in what you can actually do, but in believing that you can do anything; it's in how you squander forces that you could have used for something else; in each of us taking ourselves seriously as if we’re wasting our potential, thinking we’re justified in saying, “Oh, what could I have accomplished if I hadn’t wasted my time!”
I, now … what did I hope for, what did I expect, what rich future did I foresee, when the phantom of my first love, rising up for an instant, barely called forth one sigh, one mournful sentiment?
I, now... what did I hope for, what did I expect, what bright future did I see, when the memory of my first love, appearing for a moment, barely drew out one sigh, one sad feeling?
And what has come to pass of all I hoped for? And now, when the shades of evening begin to steal over my life, what have I left fresher, more precious, than the memories of the storm—so soon over—of early morning, of spring?
And what has happened to everything I hoped for? And now, as the evening shadows start to cover my life, what do I have that’s fresher or more valuable than the memories of the storm—over so quickly—of early morning, of spring?
But I do myself injustice. Even then, in those light-hearted young days, I was not deaf to the voice of sorrow, when it called upon me, to the solemn strains floating to me from beyond the tomb. I remember, a few days after I heard of Zinaïda’s death, I was present, through a peculiar, irresistible impulse, at the death of a poor old woman who lived in the same house as we. Covered with rags, lying on hard boards, with a sack under her head, she died hardly and painfully. Her whole life had been passed in the bitter struggle with daily want; she had known no joy, had not tasted the honey of happiness. One would have thought, surely she would rejoice at death, at her deliverance, her rest. But yet, as long as her decrepit body held out, as long as her breast still heaved in agony under the icy hand weighing upon it, until her last forces left her, the old woman crossed herself, and kept whispering, “Lord, forgive my sins”; and only with the last spark of consciousness, vanished from her eyes the look of fear, of horror of the end. And I remember that then, by the death-bed of that poor old woman, I felt aghast for Zinaïda, and longed to pray for her, for my father—and for myself.
But I'm being unfair to myself. Even back in those carefree young days, I wasn't blind to the pain of sorrow when it called to me, to the somber music drifting in from beyond the grave. I remember that a few days after I heard about Zinaïda’s death, I felt a strange, irresistible pull to be present at the death of a poor old woman who lived in the same building as us. She lay covered in rags on a hard board, with a sack under her head, dying slowly and painfully. Her entire life had been a bitter struggle against constant poverty; she had never known joy, had never tasted the sweetness of happiness. One might think she would welcome death as her liberation, her peace. Yet, as long as her frail body held on, as long as her chest heaved in pain under the heavy hand of suffering, until her last bit of strength left her, the old woman crossed herself and kept whispering, “Lord, forgive my sins”; and only with the final flicker of awareness did the look of fear and dread of the end fade from her eyes. I remember that by the deathbed of that poor old woman, I felt a deep sorrow for Zinaïda and wished to pray for her, for my father—and for myself.
MUMU
In one of the outlying streets of Moscow, in a grey house with white columns and a balcony, warped all askew, there was once living a lady, a widow, surrounded by a numerous household of serfs. Her sons were in the government service at Petersburg; her daughters were married; she went out very little, and in solitude lived through the last years of her miserly and dreary old age. Her day, a joyless and gloomy day, had long been over; but the evening of her life was blacker than night.
In one of the side streets of Moscow, in a grey house with white columns and a crooked balcony, there lived a widow surrounded by a large household of serfs. Her sons worked in government in Petersburg, her daughters were married, and she rarely went out, spending her last years of frugal and lonely old age in solitude. Her days, filled with sadness and gloom, had long passed; now, the evening of her life was darker than night.
Of all her servants, the most remarkable personage was the porter, Gerasim, a man full twelve inches over the normal height, of heroic build, and deaf and dumb from his birth. The lady, his owner, had brought him up from the village where he lived alone in a little hut, apart from his brothers, and was reckoned about the most punctual of her peasants in the payment of the seignorial dues. Endowed with extraordinary strength, he did the work of four men; work flew apace under his hands, and it was a pleasant sight to see him when he was ploughing, while, with his huge palms pressing hard upon the plough, he seemed alone, unaided by his poor horse, to cleave the yielding bosom of the earth, or when, about St. Peter’s Day, he plied his scythe with a furious energy that might have mown a young birch copse up by the roots, or swiftly and untiringly wielded a flail over two yards long; while the hard oblong muscles of his shoulders rose and fell like a lever. His perpetual silence lent a solemn dignity to his unwearying labour. He was a splendid peasant, and, except for his affliction, any girl would have been glad to marry him…. But now they had taken Gerasim to Moscow, bought him boots, had him made a full-skirted coat for summer, a sheepskin for winter, put into his hand a broom and a spade, and appointed him porter.
Of all her servants, the most remarkable was the porter, Gerasim, a man who stood a full foot taller than average, with a strong build, and who had been deaf and mute since birth. The lady who owned him had brought him from the village where he lived alone in a small hut, separated from his brothers, and he was considered the most reliable when it came to paying the lord’s dues. Blessed with incredible strength, he could do the work of four men; tasks flew by under his hands, and it was a pleasure to watch him plow, as his massive hands pressed down on the plow, seeming to single-handedly break the soft earth, or when, around St. Peter’s Day, he swung his scythe with such intensity it could have uprooted a young birch grove, or wielded a flail over two yards long with tireless energy, his strong, rectangular shoulder muscles rising and falling like a lever. His constant silence gave a solemn dignity to his relentless work. He was an impressive peasant, and if not for his disability, any girl would have been happy to marry him... But now they had taken Gerasim to Moscow, bought him boots, had a full-skirted coat made for summer, a sheepskin for winter, and given him a broom and a spade, appointing him porter.
At first he intensely disliked his new mode of life. From his childhood he had been used to field labour, to village life. Shut off by his affliction from the society of men, he had grown up, dumb and mighty, as a tree grows on a fruitful soil. When he was transported to the town, he could not understand what was being done with him; he was miserable and stupefied, with the stupefaction of some strong young bull, taken straight from the meadow, where the rich grass stood up to his belly, taken and put in the truck of a railway train, and there, while smoke and sparks and gusts of steam puff out upon the sturdy beast, he is whirled onwards, whirled along with loud roar and whistle, whither—God knows! What Gerasim had to do in his new duties seemed a mere trifle to him after his hard toil as a peasant; in half-an-hour, all his work was done, and he would once more stand stock-still in the middle of the courtyard, staring open-mouthed at all the passers-by, as though trying to wrest from them the explanation of his perplexing position; or he would suddenly go off into some corner, and flinging a long way off the broom or the spade, throw himself on his face on the ground, and lie for hours together without stirring, like a caged beast. But man gets used to anything, and Gerasim got used at last to living in town. He had little work to do; his whole duty consisted in keeping the courtyard clean, bringing in a barrel of water twice a day, splitting and dragging in wood for the kitchen and the house, keeping out strangers, and watching at night. And it must be said he did his duty zealously. In his courtyard there was never a shaving lying about, never a speck of dust; if sometimes, in the muddy season, the wretched nag, put under his charge for fetching water, got stuck in the road, he would simply give it a shove with his shoulder, and set not only the cart but the horse itself moving. If he set to chopping wood, the axe fairly rang like glass, and chips and chunks flew in all directions. And as for strangers, after he had one night caught two thieves and knocked their heads together—knocked them so that there was not the slightest need to take them to the police-station afterwards—every one in the neighbourhood began to feel a great respect for him; even those who came in the day-time, by no means robbers, but simply unknown persons, at the sight of the terrible porter, waved and shouted to him as though he could hear their shouts. With all the rest of the servants, Gerasim was on terms, hardly friendly—they were afraid of him—but familiar; he regarded them as his fellows. They explained themselves to him by signs, and he understood them, and exactly carried out all orders, but knew his own rights too, and soon no one dared to take his seat at the table. Gerasim was altogether of a strict and serious temper, he liked order in everything; even the cocks did not dare to fight in his presence, or woe betide them! directly he caught sight of them, he would seize them by the legs, swing them ten times round in the air like a wheel, and throw them in different directions. There were geese, too, kept in the yard; but the goose, as is well known, is a dignified and reasonable bird; Gerasim felt a respect for them, looked after them, and fed them; he was himself not unlike a gander of the steppes. He was assigned a little garret over the kitchen; he arranged it himself to his own liking, made a bedstead in it of oak boards on four stumps of wood for legs—a truly Titanic bedstead; one might have put a ton or two on it—it would not have bent under the load; under the bed was a solid chest; in a corner stood a little table of the same strong kind, and near the table a three-legged stool, so solid and squat that Gerasim himself would sometimes pick it up and drop it again with a smile of delight. The garret was locked up by means of a padlock that looked like a kalatch or basket-shaped loaf, only black; the key of this padlock Gerasim always carried about him in his girdle. He did not like people to come to his garret.
At first, he really hated his new way of life. He had grown up doing fieldwork and living in a village. Cut off from society because of his disability, he had matured, strong yet silent, like a tree thriving in rich soil. When he was moved to town, he couldn't grasp what was happening to him; he felt miserable and dazed, much like a strong young bull suddenly taken from a lush meadow and thrown into a noisy train car, surrounded by smoke, sparks, and steam, being whisked away who knows where! The tasks Gerasim was assigned seemed trivial compared to his hard work as a peasant; within half an hour, he had finished all his chores, and he would stand still in the courtyard, wide-eyed, trying to figure out the strange situation he found himself in. Sometimes, he'd retreat to a corner, toss the broom or spade far away, and lie face down on the ground for hours, like a trapped animal. But people get used to things, and eventually, Gerasim adapted to life in town. He had little to do; his main tasks were keeping the courtyard clean, bringing in a barrel of water twice a day, splitting and carrying in firewood for the kitchen and house, keeping out strangers, and watching over things at night. He took his responsibilities seriously. His courtyard was always immaculate, with no scraps lying around or even a speck of dust. If the miserable horse assigned to him for fetching water got stuck in the mud, he'd just shove it with his shoulder and get both the cart and horse moving again. When he chopped wood, the axe rang out like glass, sending chips and splinters flying everywhere. And as for strangers, after he had caught two thieves one night and banged their heads together hard enough that they didn’t need to go to the police station afterward, everyone in the neighborhood began to respect him. Even people passing by during the day, who were not robbers but just unfamiliar faces, would wave and shout at him, as if he could hear them. With the other servants, Gerasim had a sort of relationship that wasn’t quite friendly—they were scared of him—but familiar; he saw them as equals. They communicated with gestures, and he understood them, following their orders exactly while also knowing his own rights. Soon, no one dared to take his place at the table. Gerasim was strict and serious; he appreciated order in everything. Even the roosters wouldn’t dare to fight in his presence—if he caught sight of them, he would grab them by the legs, swing them around like a wheel, and toss them in different directions. There were geese in the yard too; but geese are dignified and sensible birds, and Gerasim respected them, caring for and feeding them; he himself was much like a gander from the steppes. He was given a small attic room above the kitchen, which he arranged to his liking. He built a bed from oak boards resting on four sturdy stumps, a truly massive bed; you could’ve put a ton or two on it without it buckling. Under the bed was a strong chest, and in one corner stood a little table made of the same sturdy material, alongside a solid three-legged stool that Gerasim would sometimes pick up and drop back down with a satisfied smile. The attic was secured with a padlock that looked like a dark bread roll; Gerasim carried the key for it in his belt. He didn’t like anyone coming to his attic.
So passed a year, at the end of which a little incident befell Gerasim.
So a year went by, and at the end of it, a small incident happened to Gerasim.
The old lady, in whose service he lived as porter, adhered in everything to the ancient ways, and kept a large number of servants. In her house were not only laundresses, sempstresses, carpenters, tailors and tailoresses, there was even a harness-maker—he was reckoned as a veterinary surgeon, too,—and a doctor for the servants; there was a household doctor for the mistress; there was, lastly, a shoemaker, by name Kapiton Klimov, a sad drunkard. Klimov regarded himself as an injured creature, whose merits were unappreciated, a cultivated man from Petersburg, who ought not to be living in Moscow without occupation—in the wilds, so to speak; and if he drank, as he himself expressed it emphatically, with a blow on his chest, it was sorrow drove him to it. So one day his mistress had a conversation about him with her head steward, Gavrila, a man whom, judging solely from his little yellow eyes and nose like a duck’s beak, fate itself, it seemed, had marked out as a person in authority. The lady expressed her regret at the corruption of the morals of Kapiton, who had, only the evening before, been picked up somewhere in the street.
The old lady, for whom he worked as a porter, stuck to the old ways in everything and employed a large number of servants. In her home, there were not just laundresses, seamstresses, carpenters, tailors, and tailoresses, but even a harness-maker—he was also considered a veterinary surgeon—and a doctor for the servants; there was a household doctor for the lady; and lastly, there was a shoemaker named Kapiton Klimov, a hopeless drunk. Klimov saw himself as a wronged man, whose talents went unrecognized, a cultured guy from Petersburg who shouldn’t be living in Moscow without a job—in the sticks, so to speak; and if he drank, as he put it emphatically, pounding his chest, it was because of his sorrow. So one day, his mistress discussed him with her head steward, Gavrila, a man who, judging solely by his little yellow eyes and duck-like nose, seemed like someone fate had appointed to be in charge. The lady expressed her concern about the decline of Kapiton’s morals, who had, just the night before, been found passed out in the street.
“Now, Gavrila,” she observed, all of a sudden, “now, if we were to marry him, what do you think, perhaps he would be steadier?”
“Now, Gavrila,” she said suddenly, “now, if we were to marry him, do you think he might be more stable?”
“Why not marry him, indeed, ’m? He could be married, ’m,” answered Gavrila, “and it would be a very good thing, to be sure, ’m.”
“Why not marry him, seriously, ma’am? He could be married, ma’am,” replied Gavrila, “and it would definitely be a good thing, for sure, ma’am.”
“Yes; only who is to marry him?”
“Yes; but who is going to marry him?”
“Ay, ’m. But that’s at your pleasure, ’m. He may, any way, so to say, be wanted for something; he can’t be turned adrift altogether.”
“Ay, ma'am. But that’s up to you, ma'am. He might, in any case, be needed for something; he can’t just be cast aside completely.”
“I fancy he likes Tatiana.”
"I think he likes Tatiana."
Gavrila was on the point of making some reply, but he shut his lips tightly.
Gavrila was about to say something, but he closed his mouth tightly.
“Yes!… let him marry Tatiana,” the lady decided, taking a pinch of snuff complacently, “Do you hear?”
“Yes!… let him marry Tatiana,” the lady decided, taking a pinch of snuff with satisfaction, “Do you hear?”
“Yes, ’m,” Gavrila articulated, and he withdrew.
“Yes, I am,” Gavrila said, and he stepped back.
Returning to his own room (it was in a little lodge, and was almost filled up with metal-bound trunks), Gavrila first sent his wife away, and then sat down at the window and pondered. His mistress’s unexpected arrangement had clearly put him in a difficulty. At last he got up and sent to call Kapiton. Kapiton made his appearance…. But before reporting their conversation to the reader, we consider it not out of place to relate in few words who was this Tatiana, whom it was to be Kapiton’s lot to marry, and why the great lady’s order had disturbed the steward.
Returning to his room (it was in a small lodge and almost filled with metal-bound trunks), Gavrila first sent his wife away, then sat down at the window and thought things over. His mistress's unexpected arrangement had definitely caused him some trouble. Finally, he got up and called for Kapiton. Kapiton showed up…. But before we share their conversation with the reader, we think it's important to briefly explain who this Tatiana is, the woman Kapiton was supposed to marry, and why the grand lady’s order had upset the steward.
Tatiana, one of the laundresses referred to above (as a trained and skilful laundress she was in charge of the fine linen only), was a woman of twenty-eight, thin, fair-haired, with moles on her left cheek. Moles on the left cheek are regarded as of evil omen in Russia—a token of unhappy life…. Tatiana could not boast of her good luck. From her earliest youth she had been badly treated; she had done the work of two, and had never known affection; she had been poorly clothed and had received the smallest wages. Relations she had practically none; an uncle she had once had, a butler, left behind in the country as useless, and other uncles of hers were peasants—that was all. At one time she had passed for a beauty, but her good looks were very soon over. In disposition, she was very meek, or, rather, scared; towards herself, she felt perfect indifference; of others, she stood in mortal dread; she thought of nothing but how to get her work done in good time, never talked to any one, and trembled at the very name of her mistress, though the latter scarcely knew her by sight. When Gerasim was brought from the country, she was ready to die with fear on seeing his huge figure, tried all she could to avoid meeting him, even dropped her eyelids when sometimes she chanced to run past him, hurrying from the house to the laundry. Gerasim at first paid no special attention to her, then he used to smile when she came his way, then he began even to stare admiringly at her, and at last he never took his eyes off her. She took his fancy, whether by the mild expression of her face or the timidity of her movements, who can tell? So one day she was stealing across the yard, with a starched dressing-jacket of her mistress’s carefully poised on her outspread fingers … some one suddenly grasped her vigorously by the elbow; she turned round and fairly screamed; behind her stood Gerasim. With a foolish smile, making inarticulate caressing grunts, he held out to her a gingerbread cock with gold tinsel on his tail and wings. She was about to refuse it, but he thrust it forcibly into her hand, shook his head, walked away, and turning round, once more grunted something very affectionately to her. From that day forward he gave her no peace; wherever she went, he was on the spot at once, coming to meet her, smiling, grunting, waving his hands; all at once he would pull a ribbon out of the bosom of his smock and put it in her hand, or would sweep the dust out of her way. The poor girl simply did not know how to behave or what to do. Soon the whole household knew of the dumb porter’s wiles; jeers, jokes, sly hints were showered upon Tatiana. At Gerasim, however, it was not every one who would dare to scoff; he did not like jokes; indeed, in his presence, she, too, was left in peace. Whether she liked it or not, the girl found herself to be under his protection. Like all deaf-mutes, he was very suspicious, and very readily perceived when they were laughing at him or at her. One day, at dinner, the wardrobe-keeper, Tatiana’s superior, fell to nagging, as it is called, at her, and brought the poor thing to such a state that she did not know where to look, and was almost crying with vexation. Gerasim got up all of a sudden, stretched out his gigantic hand, laid it on the wardrobe-maid’s head, and looked into her face with such grim ferocity that her head positively flopped upon the table. Every one was still. Gerasim took up his spoon again and went on with his cabbage-soup. “Look at him, the dumb devil, the wood-demon!” they all muttered in under-tones, while the wardrobe-maid got up and went out into the maids’ room. Another time, noticing that Kapiton—the same Kapiton who was the subject of the conversation reported above—was gossiping somewhat too attentively with Tatiana, Gerasim beckoned him to him, led him into the cartshed, and taking up a shaft that was standing in a corner by one end, lightly, but most significantly, menaced him with it. Since then no one addressed a word to Tatiana. And all this cost him nothing. It is true the wardrobe-maid, as soon as she reached the maids’ room, promptly fell into a fainting-fit, and behaved altogether so skilfully that Gerasim’s rough action reached his mistress’s knowledge the same day. But the capricious old lady only laughed, and several times, to the great offence of the wardrobe-maid, forced her to repeat “how he bent your head down with his heavy hand,” and next day she sent Gerasim a rouble. She looked on him with favour as a strong and faithful watchman. Gerasim stood in considerable awe of her, but, all the same, he had hopes of her favour, and was preparing to go to her with a petition for leave to marry Tatiana. He was only waiting for a new coat, promised him by the steward, to present a proper appearance before his mistress, when this same mistress suddenly took it into her head to marry Tatiana to Kapiton.
Tatiana, one of the laundresses mentioned earlier (since she was trained and skilled, she was only in charge of the fine linen), was twenty-eight years old, thin, fair-haired, and had moles on her left cheek. In Russia, moles on the left cheek are seen as a bad omen, a sign of an unhappy life… Tatiana couldn't claim to have good luck. Since her youth, she had been mistreated; she had done the work of two people and had never known love; she had been poorly dressed and had received meager wages. She had practically no relatives; her uncle, once a butler, was left in the countryside as useless, and her other uncles were peasants—that was it. At one point, she was considered a beauty, but her looks faded quickly. In nature, she was very meek, or rather scared; about herself, she felt complete indifference; towards others, she was filled with fear; she thought only about getting her work done on time, never spoke to anyone, and trembled at the mere mention of her mistress’s name, though the mistress hardly knew her. When Gerasim was brought from the countryside, she was terrified at the sight of his huge figure, trying her best to avoid him, even lowering her eyelids whenever she happened to rush by him, hurrying from the house to the laundry. At first, Gerasim didn't pay her much attention, but then he began to smile when she passed by, then he started to gaze at her admiringly, and eventually, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She caught his interest, whether because of the gentle look on her face or her timid movements, who can say? One day, as she was quietly crossing the yard, carefully balancing a starched dressing jacket of her mistress’s on her fingers, someone suddenly grabbed her vigorously by the elbow; she turned around and screamed; it was Gerasim. With a silly smile and making affectionate grunts, he handed her a gingerbread rooster decorated with gold foil on its tail and wings. She was about to refuse it, but he shoved it into her hand, shook his head, walked off, and turned back to grunt something very affectionately at her. From that day on, he wouldn’t leave her alone; wherever she went, he appeared instantly, coming to meet her with smiles, grunts, and hand waves; he would suddenly pull a ribbon from his smock and offer it to her or sweep away dust from her path. The poor girl simply didn’t know how to react or what to do. Soon the entire household was aware of the mute porter’s antics; they teased her with jokes and sly remarks. However, not everyone dared to mock Gerasim; he didn’t appreciate jokes; indeed, in his presence, she was left in peace. Whether she wanted it or not, the girl found herself under his protection. Like all deaf-mutes, he was very wary and easily noticed when people laughed at him or her. One day at dinner, Tatiana's superior, the wardrobe-keeper, started nagging her, putting her in such a state that she felt embarrassed and was almost in tears. Gerasim suddenly got up, reached out his huge hand, placed it on the wardrobe-maid’s head, and looked at her with such fierce intensity that her head practically dropped onto the table. Everyone fell silent. Gerasim picked up his spoon again and continued to eat his cabbage soup. “Look at him, the dumb devil, the wood-demon!” they muttered under their breath, while the wardrobe-maid got up and left for the maids’ room. Another time, noticing that Kapiton—the same Kapiton mentioned earlier—was chatting a bit too closely with Tatiana, Gerasim called him over, took him into the shed, and picked up a shaft standing in the corner, lightly yet significantly threatening him with it. After that, nobody spoke to Tatiana again. And all of this cost him nothing. It’s true that as soon as the wardrobe-maid reached the maids’ room, she fainted and acted in such a way that Gerasim's rough actions reached his mistress that same day. But the whimsical old lady just laughed and several times, much to the wardrobe-maid's annoyance, made her repeat “how he bent your head down with his heavy hand,” and the next day sent Gerasim a rouble. She viewed him favorably as a strong and loyal protector. Gerasim held her in considerable awe, but nonetheless hoped for her favor and was preparing to approach her with a request for permission to marry Tatiana. He was just waiting for a new coat promised to him by the steward to present himself properly before his mistress when she unexpectedly decided to marry Tatiana off to Kapiton.
The reader will now readily understand the perturbation of mind that overtook the steward Gavrila after his conversation with his mistress. “My lady,” he thought, as he sat at the window, “favours Gerasim, to be sure”—(Gavrila was well aware of this, and that was why he himself looked on him with an indulgent eye)—“still he is a speechless creature. I could not, indeed, put it before the mistress that Gerasim’s courting Tatiana. But, after all, it’s true enough; he’s a queer sort of husband. But on the other hand, that devil, God forgive me, has only got to find out they’re marrying Tatiana to Kapiton, he’ll smash up everything in the house, ’pon my soul! There’s no reasoning with him; why, he’s such a devil, God forgive my sins, there’s no getting over him no how … ’pon my soul!”
The reader will now easily grasp the confusion that struck the steward Gavrila after his conversation with his mistress. “My lady,” he thought as he sat by the window, “definitely favors Gerasim”—(Gavrila knew this well, which is why he viewed him with a tolerant attitude)—“but he's definitely not much of a talker. I couldn't, of course, tell the mistress that Gerasim is pursuing Tatiana. But, honestly, it's true; he's a strange sort of husband. On the other hand, that troublemaker, God forgive me, will do anything once he finds out they're planning to marry Tatiana to Kapiton; he'll wreck everything in this house, I swear! There's no reasoning with him; he's such a troublemaker, God forgive my sins, there's just no dealing with him no matter what … I swear!”
Kapiton’s entrance broke the thread of Gavrila’s reflections. The dissipated shoemaker came in, his hands behind him, and lounging carelessly against a projecting angle of the wall, near the door, crossed his right foot in front of his left, and tossed his head, as much as to say, “What do you want?”
Kapiton’s arrival interrupted Gavrila’s thoughts. The disheveled shoemaker entered, his hands behind his back, and casually leaned against a corner of the wall by the door. He crossed his right foot over his left and tossed his head, as if to say, “What do you need?”
Gavrila looked at Kapiton, and drummed with his fingers on the window-frame. Kapiton merely screwed up his leaden eyes a little, but he did not look down, he even grinned slightly, and passed his hand over his whitish locks which were sticking up in all directions. “Well, here I am. What is it?”
Gavrila looked at Kapiton and tapped his fingers on the window frame. Kapiton just squinted his heavy eyes a bit, but he didn’t look away; he even smiled slightly and ran his hand over his messy, whitish hair that was sticking up everywhere. “Well, here I am. What’s up?”
“You’re a pretty fellow,” said Gavrila, and paused. “A pretty fellow you are, there’s no denying!”
“You’re a good-looking guy,” Gavrila said, and paused. “You really are a good-looking guy, no doubt about it!”
Kapiton only twitched his little shoulders.
Kapiton just shrugged his little shoulders.
“Are you any better, pray?” he thought to himself.
“Are you any better, really?” he thought to himself.
“Just look at yourself, now, look at yourself,” Gavrila went on reproachfully; “now, what ever do you look like?”
“Just look at yourself now, look at yourself,” Gavrila continued reproachfully; “now, what do you even look like?”
Kapiton serenely surveyed his shabby tattered coat, and his patched trousers, and with special attention stared at his burst boots, especially the one on the tip-toe of which his right foot so gracefully poised, and he fixed his eyes again on the steward.
Kapiton calmly looked over his worn-out coat and patched pants, and he particularly focused on his broken boots, especially the one where his right foot was elegantly resting on the tip. Then he directed his gaze back at the steward.
“Well?”
"What's up?"
“Well?” repeated Gavrila. “Well? And then you say well? You look like old Nick himself, God forgive my saying so, that’s what you look like.”
“Well?” Gavrila repeated. “Well? And then you say well? You look like the devil himself, God forgive me for saying that, but that’s what you look like.”
Kapiton blinked rapidly.
Kapiton blinked quickly.
“Go on abusing me, go on, if you like, Gavrila Andreitch,” he thought to himself again.
“Go ahead and keep abusing me, if you want, Gavrila Andreitch,” he thought to himself again.
“Here you’ve been drunk again,” Gavrila began, “drunk again, haven’t you? Eh? Come, answer me!”
“Looks like you’ve been drinking again,” Gavrila started, “drinking again, haven’t you? Huh? Come on, answer me!”
“Owing to the weakness of my health, I have exposed myself to spirituous beverages, certainly,” replied Kapiton.
“Owing to my poor health, I have definitely indulged in alcoholic drinks,” replied Kapiton.
“Owing to the weakness of your health!… They let you off too easy, that’s what it is; and you’ve been apprenticed in Petersburg…. Much you learned in your apprenticeship! You simply eat your bread in idleness.”
“Owing to the weakness of your health!… They let you off too easy, that’s what it is; and you’ve been apprenticed in Petersburg…. You didn't learn much in your apprenticeship! You’re just loafing around.”
“In that matter, Gavrila Andreitch, there is one to judge me, the Lord God Himself, and no one else. He also knows what manner of man I be in this world, and whether I eat my bread in idleness. And as concerning your contention regarding drunkenness, in that matter, too, I am not to blame, but rather a friend; he led me into temptation, but was diplomatic and got away, while I….”
“In that matter, Gavrila Andreitch, there is only one person who can judge me, and that’s the Lord God Himself, no one else. He also knows what kind of person I am in this world and whether I earn my bread honestly. And as for your argument about drunkenness, I’m not to blame there either; it was a friend who led me into temptation, but he managed to avoid the consequences while I…”
“While you were left, like a goose, in the street. Ah, you’re a dissolute fellow! But that’s not the point,” the steward went on, “I’ve something to tell you. Our lady…” here he paused a minute, “it’s our lady’s pleasure that you should be married. Do you hear? She imagines you may be steadier when you’re married. Do you understand?”
“While you were left standing there like a fool. Ah, you’re quite the rogue! But that’s not the main issue,” the steward continued, “I’ve got something to tell you. Our lady…” he paused for a moment, “it’s our lady’s wish that you should get married. Do you hear? She thinks you might be more responsible once you’re married. Do you understand?”
“To be sure I do.”
“Of course I do.”
“Well, then. For my part I think it would be better to give you a good hiding. But there—it’s her business. Well? are you agreeable?”
“Well, then. As for me, I think it would be better to give you a good beating. But there—it’s her call. So? Are you onboard?”
Kapiton grinned.
Kapiton smiled.
“Matrimony is an excellent thing for any one, Gavrila Andreitch; and, as far as I am concerned, I shall be quite agreeable.”
“Matrimony is a great thing for anyone, Gavrila Andreitch; and as for me, I'm totally on board.”
“Very well, then,” replied Gavrila, while he reflected to himself: “there’s no denying the man expresses himself very properly. Only there’s one thing,” he pursued aloud: “the wife our lady’s picked out for you is an unlucky choice.”
“Alright, then,” Gavrila replied, thinking to himself: “I can’t deny that the man speaks quite well. But there’s one thing,” he continued aloud: “the wife our lady has chosen for you is a bad choice.”
“Why, who is she, permit me to inquire?”
“Why, who is she? May I ask?”
“Tatiana.”
“Tatiana.”
“Tatiana?”
“Tatiana?”
And Kapiton opened his eyes, and moved a little away from the wall.
And Kapiton opened his eyes and scooted a bit away from the wall.
“Well, what are you in such a taking for?… Isn’t she to your taste, hey?”
“Well, what’s got you all worked up?… Isn’t she your type, huh?”
“Not to my taste, do you say, Gavrila Andreitch! She’s right enough, a hard-working steady girl…. But you know very well yourself, Gavrila Andreitch, why that fellow, that wild man of the woods, that monster of the steppes, he’s after her, you know….”
“Not really my type, you say, Gavrila Andreitch! She’s definitely a hard-working, steady girl…. But you know exactly why that guy, that wild man of the woods, that monster of the steppes, is pursuing her, right….”
“I know, mate, I know all about it,” the butler cut him short in a tone of annoyance: “but there, you see….”
“I know, buddy, I get it,” the butler interrupted him, sounding annoyed: “but there, you see….”
“But upon my soul, Gavrila Andreitch! why, he’ll kill me, by God, he will, he’ll crush me like some fly; why, he’s got a fist—why, you kindly look yourself what a fist he’s got; why, he’s simply got a fist like Minin Pozharsky’s. You see he’s deaf, he beats and does not hear how he’s beating! He swings his great fists, as if he’s asleep. And there’s no possibility of pacifying him; and for why? Why, because, as you know yourself, Gavrila Andreitch, he’s deaf, and what’s more, has no more wit than the heel of my foot. Why, he’s a sort of beast, a heathen idol, Gavrila Andreitch, and worse … a block of wood; what have I done that I should have to suffer from him now? Sure it is, it’s all over with me now; I’ve knocked about, I’ve had enough to put up with, I’ve been battered like an earthenware pot, but still I’m a man, after all, and not a worthless pot.”
“But honestly, Gavrila Andreitch! He’s going to kill me, I swear he will, he’ll crush me like a fly; just look at his fists—seriously, take a look at what a fist he has! It’s huge, like Minin Pozharsky’s. He’s deaf, so he doesn’t even realize how hard he’s hitting! He swings those big fists like he’s in a dream. There’s no way to calm him down; and why is that? Because, as you know, Gavrila Andreitch, he’s deaf, and on top of that, he’s as sharp as a rock. He’s like a beast, a senseless idol, Gavrila Andreitch, and even worse… a block of wood; what have I done to deserve this suffering from him? It’s clear, I’m finished; I’ve been tossed around enough, I’ve endured so much, I’ve been hit like a clay pot, but still, I’m a man and not some worthless pot.”
“I know, I know, don’t go talking away….”
“I know, I know, just don’t start talking…”
“Lord, my God!” the shoemaker continued warmly, “when is the end? when, O Lord! A poor wretch I am, a poor wretch whose sufferings are endless! What a life, what a life mine’s been, come to think of it! In my young days, I was beaten by a German I was ’prentice to; in the prime of life beaten by my own countrymen, and last of all, in ripe years, see what I have been brought to….”
“Lord, my God!” the shoemaker continued warmly, “when will it end? When, O Lord! I’m just a poor wretch, a poor wretch whose suffering never stops! What a life, what a life I’ve had, now that I think about it! When I was young, I was beaten by the German I apprenticed under; in my prime, I was beaten by my own countrymen, and now, in my later years, look at what I’ve been reduced to….”
“Ugh, you flabby soul!” said Gavrila Andreitch. “Why do you make so many words about it?”
“Ugh, you lazy soul!” said Gavrila Andreitch. “Why do you use so many words for it?”
“Why, do you say, Gavrila Andreitch? It’s not a beating I’m afraid of, Gavrila Andreitch. A gentleman may chastise me in private, but give me a civil word before folks, and I’m a man still; but see now, whom I’ve to do with….”
“Why do you say that, Gavrila Andreitch? It’s not the beating I’m scared of, Gavrila Andreitch. A gentleman can punish me in private, but just give me a polite word in front of others, and I’m still a man; but look at who I’m dealing with….”
“Come, get along,” Gavrila interposed impatiently. Kapiton turned away and staggered off.
“Come on, let’s go,” Gavrila said impatiently. Kapiton turned away and stumbled off.
“But, if it were not for him,” the steward shouted after him, “you would consent for your part?”
“But if it weren't for him,” the steward shouted after him, “you would agree on your end?”
“I signify my acquiescence,” retorted Kapiton as he disappeared.
“I acknowledge my agreement,” Kapiton replied as he vanished.
His fine language did not desert him, even in the most trying positions.
His eloquent speech never failed him, even in the toughest situations.
The steward walked several times up and down the room.
The steward paced back and forth in the room several times.
“Well, call Tatiana now,” he said at last.
“Well, call Tatiana now,” he finally said.
A few instants later, Tatiana had come up almost noiselessly, and was standing in the doorway.
A few moments later, Tatiana had approached almost silently and was standing in the doorway.
“What are your orders, Gavrila Andreitch?” she said in a soft voice.
“What are your orders, Gavrila Andreitch?” she said in a soft voice.
The steward looked at her intently.
The steward stared at her closely.
“Well, Taniusha,” he said, “would you like to be married? Our lady has chosen a husband for you.”
“Well, Taniusha,” he said, “do you want to get married? Our lady has picked a husband for you.”
“Yes, Gavrila Andreitch. And whom has she deigned to name as a husband for me?” she added falteringly.
“Yes, Gavrila Andreitch. And who has she decided to call my husband?” she added hesitantly.
“Kapiton, the shoemaker.”
"Kapiton, the cobbler."
“Yes, sir.”
"Yes, sir."
“He’s a feather-brained fellow, that’s certain. But it’s just for that the mistress reckons upon you.”
"He's definitely not the brightest guy, that's for sure. But it's for that reason the lady is counting on you."
“Yes, sir.”
“Sure thing.”
“There’s one difficulty … you know the deaf man, Gerasim, he’s courting you, you see. How did you come to bewitch such a bear? But you see, he’ll kill you, very like, he’s such a bear….”
“There’s one difficulty … you know the deaf guy, Gerasim, he’s interested in you, you see. How did you manage to charm such a brute? But you see, he’ll probably kill you, he’s such a brute….”
“He’ll kill me, Gavrila Andreitch, he’ll kill me, and no mistake.”
“He’s going to kill me, Gavrila Andreitch, he’s definitely going to kill me.”
“Kill you…. Well, we shall see about that. What do you mean by saying he’ll kill you? Has he any right to kill you? tell me yourself.”
“Kill you…. Well, we’ll see about that. What do you mean when you say he’ll kill you? Does he have any right to kill you? Tell me yourself.”
“I don’t know, Gavrila Andreitch, about his having any right or not.”
“I don’t know, Gavrila Andreitch, whether he has any right or not.”
“What a woman! why, you’ve made him no promise, I suppose….”
“What a woman! Come on, you haven’t promised him anything, have you….”
“What are you pleased to ask of me?”
“What would you like to ask me?”
The steward was silent for a little, thinking, “You’re a meek soul! Well, that’s right,” he said aloud; “we’ll have another talk with you later, now you can go, Taniusha; I see you’re not unruly, certainly.”
The steward was quiet for a moment, thinking, “You’re a gentle person! Well, that’s true,” he said out loud; “we’ll talk again later, you can go now, Taniusha; I can see you’re not difficult at all.”
Tatiana turned, steadied herself a little against the doorpost, and went away.
Tatiana turned, leaned a bit against the door frame, and walked away.
“And, perhaps, our lady will forget all about this wedding by to-morrow,” thought the steward; “and here am I worrying myself for nothing! As for that insolent fellow, we must tie him down, if it comes to that, we must let the police know” … “Ustinya Fyedorovna!” he shouted in a loud voice to his wife, “heat the samovar, my good soul….” All that day Tatiana hardly went out of the laundry. At first she had started crying, then she wiped away her tears, and set to work as before. Kapiton stayed till late at night at the ginshop with a friend of his, a man of gloomy appearance, to whom he related in detail how he used to live in Petersburg with a gentleman, who would have been all right, except he was a bit too strict, and he had a slight weakness besides, he was too fond of drink; and, as to the fair sex, he didn’t stick at anything. His gloomy companion merely said yes; but when Kapiton announced at last that, in a certain event, he would have to lay hands on himself to-morrow, his gloomy companion remarked that it was bedtime. And they parted in surly silence.
“And maybe our lady will forget all about this wedding by tomorrow,” thought the steward; “and here I am stressing out for nothing! As for that rude guy, we have to rein him in, and if it comes to that, we should inform the police…” “Ustinya Fyedorovna!” he shouted loudly to his wife, “heat the samovar, my dear….” All day long, Tatiana barely left the laundry. At first, she started crying, then wiped away her tears and got back to work as usual. Kapiton stayed late at the bar with a friend of his, a man with a gloomy demeanor, to whom he detailed how he used to live in Petersburg with a gentleman who would have been fine, except he was a bit too strict and had a slight weakness; he was too fond of drink. As for women, he didn’t hold back at all. His gloomy companion simply replied with a yes; but when Kapiton finally announced that, in a certain situation, he would have to take drastic action tomorrow, his gloomy companion noted that it was getting late. And they parted in silent frustration.
Meanwhile, the steward’s anticipations were not fulfilled. The old lady was so much taken up with the idea of Kapiton’s wedding, that even in the night she talked of nothing else to one of her companions, who was kept in her house solely to entertain her in case of sleeplessness, and, like a night cabman, slept in the day. When Gavrila came to her after morning tea with his report, her first question was: “And how about our wedding—is it getting on all right?” He replied, of course, that it was getting on first rate, and that Kapiton would appear before her to pay his reverence to her that day. The old lady was not quite well; she did not give much time to business. The steward went back to his own room, and called a council. The matter certainly called for serious consideration. Tatiana would make no difficulty, of course; but Kapiton had declared in the hearing of all that he had but one head to lose, not two or three…. Gerasim turned rapid sullen looks on every one, would not budge from the steps of the maids’ quarters, and seemed to guess that some mischief was being hatched against him. They met together. Among them was an old sideboard waiter, nicknamed Uncle Tail, to whom every one looked respectfully for counsel, though all they got out of him was, “Here’s a pretty pass! to be sure, to be sure, to be sure!” As a preliminary measure of security, to provide against contingencies, they locked Kapiton up in the lumber-room where the filter was kept; then considered the question with the gravest deliberation. It would, to be sure, be easy to have recourse to force. But Heaven save us! there would be an uproar, the mistress would be put out—it would be awful! What should they do? They thought and thought, and at last thought out a solution. It had many a time been observed that Gerasim could not bear drunkards…. As he sat at the gates, he would always turn away with disgust when some one passed by intoxicated, with unsteady steps and his cap on one side of his ear. They resolved that Tatiana should be instructed to pretend to be tipsy, and should pass by Gerasim staggering and reeling about. The poor girl refused for a long while to agree to this, but they persuaded her at last; she saw, too, that it was the only possible way of getting rid of her adorer. She went out. Kapiton was released from the lumber-room; for, after all, he had an interest in the affair. Gerasim was sitting on the curb-stone at the gates, scraping the ground with a spade…. From behind every corner, from behind every window-blind, the others were watching him…. The trick succeeded beyond all expectations. On seeing Tatiana, at first, he nodded as usual, making caressing, inarticulate sounds; then he looked carefully at her, dropped his spade, jumped up, went up to her, brought his face close to her face…. In her fright she staggered more than ever, and shut her eyes…. He took her by the arm, whirled her right across the yard, and going into the room where the council had been sitting, pushed her straight at Kapiton. Tatiana fairly swooned away…. Gerasim stood, looked at her, waved his hand, laughed, and went off, stepping heavily, to his garret…. For the next twenty-four hours, he did not come out of it. The postillion Antipka said afterwards that he saw Gerasim through a crack in the wall, sitting on his bedstead, his face in his hand. From time to time he uttered soft regular sounds; he was wailing a dirge, that is, swaying backwards and forwards with his eyes shut, and shaking his head as drivers or bargemen do when they chant their melancholy songs. Antipka could not bear it, and he came away from the crack. When Gerasim came out of the garret next day, no particular change could be observed in him. He only seemed, as it were, more morose, and took not the slightest notice of Tatiana or Kapiton. The same evening, they both had to appear before their mistress with geese under their arms, and in a week’s time they were married. Even on the day of the wedding Gerasim showed no change of any sort in his behaviour. Only, he came back from the river without water, he had somehow broken the barrel on the road; and at night, in the stable, he washed and rubbed down his horse so vigorously, that it swayed like a blade of grass in the wind, and staggered from one leg to the other under his fists of iron.
Meanwhile, the steward's expectations were not met. The old lady was so caught up in the idea of Kapiton's wedding that even at night, she talked about nothing else to one of her companions, who was kept at her house just to entertain her if she couldn't sleep and, like a night cab driver, slept during the day. When Gavrila came to her after morning tea with his report, her first question was, "So, what's up with our wedding? Is it progressing smoothly?" He replied, of course, that everything was going great and that Kapiton would come to pay his respects to her that day. The old lady wasn't feeling very well; she didn't spend much time on business. The steward went back to his room and called a meeting. The situation definitely required serious thought. Tatiana wouldn't put up any resistance, of course, but Kapiton had declared in front of everyone that he only had one head to lose, not two or three. Gerasim was shooting dark, annoyed glances at everyone, wouldn't move from the steps of the maids' quarters, and seemed to sense that something was being plotted against him. They gathered together. Among them was an old sideboard waiter nicknamed Uncle Tail, who everyone respected for advice, even if all they got from him was, "What a mess! For sure, for sure, for sure!" As a precaution, to prepare for any unexpected events, they locked Kapiton in the storage room where the filter was kept; then they considered the issue very seriously. It would be easy enough to resort to force. But God forbid! There would be a scene, the mistress would be upset—it would be terrible! What should they do? They thought and thought, and finally came up with a solution. It had often been noticed that Gerasim couldn't stand drunks. As he sat at the gates, he would always turn away in disgust when someone passed by drunk, stumbling and with his cap off to one side. They decided that Tatiana should act like she was tipsy and stagger past Gerasim. The poor girl resisted for a long time but eventually agreed; she realized it was the only way to get rid of her admirer. She went out. Kapiton was let out of the storage room because, after all, he had a stake in the situation. Gerasim was sitting on the curb at the gates, scraping the ground with a spade…. From behind every corner and every window, the others were watching him…. The plan worked better than anyone expected. At first, when he saw Tatiana, he nodded as usual, making affectionate, unintelligible sounds, then looked closely at her, dropped his spade, jumped up, walked up to her, and brought his face close to hers…. In her fright, she staggered even more and shut her eyes…. He grabbed her by the arm, spun her around the yard, and, entering the room where the council had been sitting, pushed her directly towards Kapiton. Tatiana fainted…. Gerasim stood there, looked at her, waved his hand, laughed, and heavily walked off to his room…. For the next twenty-four hours, he didn’t come out. The postillion Antipka later said he saw Gerasim through a crack in the wall, sitting on his bed with his face in his hand. Occasionally, he let out soft steady sounds; he was mourning, swaying back and forth with his eyes shut and shaking his head like drivers or bargeboys do when they sing their sad songs. Antipka couldn't stand it and moved away from the crack. When Gerasim finally came out of the room the next day, no notable change was visible in him. He just seemed a bit more grumpy and didn’t acknowledge Tatiana or Kapiton at all. That same evening, they both had to appear before their mistress with geese under their arms, and within a week they were married. Even on the wedding day, Gerasim showed no change in his behavior. He returned from the river without any water, having somehow broken the barrel on the way; and at night in the stable, he washed and groomed his horse so vigorously that it swayed like a blade of grass in the wind and stumbled under his powerful hands.
All this had taken place in the spring. Another year passed by, during which Kapiton became a hopeless drunkard, and as being absolutely of no use for anything, was sent away with the store waggons to a distant village with his wife. On the day of his departure, he put a very good face on it at first, and declared that he would always be at home, send him where they would, even to the other end of the world; but later on he lost heart, began grumbling that he was being taken to uneducated people, and collapsed so completely at last that he could not even put his own hat on. Some charitable soul stuck it on his forehead, set the peak straight in front, and thrust it on with a slap from above. When everything was quite ready, and the peasants already held the reins in their hands, and were only waiting for the words “With God’s blessing!” to start, Gerasim came out of his garret, went up to Tatiana, and gave her as a parting present a red cotton handkerchief he had bought for her a year ago. Tatiana, who had up to that instant borne all the revolting details of her life with great indifference, could not control herself upon that; she burst into tears, and as she took her seat in the cart, she kissed Gerasim three times like a good Christian. He meant to accompany her as far as the town-barrier, and did walk beside her cart for a while, but he stopped suddenly at the Crimean ford, waved his hand, and walked away along the riverside.
All this happened in the spring. Another year went by, during which Kapiton became a hopeless drunk and, since he was completely useless, was sent away with the supply wagons to a faraway village with his wife. On the day he left, he initially put on a brave face and insisted he would always be at home, no matter where they sent him, even to the other side of the world; but soon after, he lost his confidence, started complaining about being taken to uneducated people, and eventually fell apart so much that he couldn’t even put on his own hat. A kind person placed it on his forehead, straightened the brim in front, and slapped it down on his head. When everything was ready, and the peasants were already holding the reins, just waiting for the words “With God’s blessing!” to start, Gerasim came out of his room, approached Tatiana, and gave her a red cotton handkerchief he had bought for her a year earlier as a farewell gift. Tatiana, who had until then endured all the unpleasant details of her life with indifference, couldn’t hold back her tears. As she settled into the cart, she kissed Gerasim three times like a good Christian. He intended to walk with her to the town border and did walk beside her cart for a bit, but then he suddenly stopped at the Crimean ford, waved his hand, and walked away along the riverside.
It was getting towards evening. He walked slowly, watching the water. All of a sudden he fancied something was floundering in the mud close to the bank. He stooped over, and saw a little white-and-black puppy, who, in spite of all its efforts, could not get out of the water; it was struggling, slipping back, and trembling all over its thin wet little body. Gerasim looked at the unlucky little dog, picked it up with one hand, put it into the bosom of his coat, and hurried with long steps homewards. He went into his garret, put the rescued puppy on his bed, covered it with his thick overcoat, ran first to the stable for straw, and then to the kitchen for a cup of milk. Carefully folding back the overcoat, and spreading out the straw, he set the milk on the bedstead. The poor little puppy was not more than three weeks old, its eyes were only just open—one eye still seemed rather larger than the other; it did not know how to lap out of a cup, and did nothing but shiver and blink. Gerasim took hold of its head softly with two fingers, and dipped its little nose into the milk. The pup suddenly began lapping greedily, sniffing, shaking itself, and choking. Gerasim watched and watched it, and all at once he laughed outright…. All night long he was waiting on it, keeping it covered, and rubbing it dry. He fell asleep himself at last, and slept quietly and happily by its side.
It was getting toward evening. He walked slowly, watching the water. Suddenly, he thought he saw something struggling in the mud near the bank. He bent down and saw a little black-and-white puppy that, despite all its efforts, couldn't get out of the water; it was struggling, slipping back, and trembling all over its thin, wet little body. Gerasim looked at the unfortunate little dog, picked it up with one hand, tucked it into the front of his coat, and hurried home with long strides. He went into his room, placed the rescued puppy on his bed, covered it with his thick overcoat, and ran first to the stable for straw, then to the kitchen for a cup of milk. Carefully pulling back the overcoat and spreading out the straw, he set the milk on the bed. The poor little puppy was no more than three weeks old; its eyes were just starting to open—one eye looked a bit larger than the other. It didn’t know how to drink from a cup, and just shivered and blinked. Gerasim gently held its head with two fingers and dipped its little nose into the milk. The puppy suddenly began lapping eagerly, sniffing, shaking itself, and choking a bit. Gerasim watched it intently, and all of a sudden he laughed out loud…. All night long, he took care of it, keeping it warm and rubbing it dry. Eventually, he fell asleep himself, sleeping quietly and happily by its side.
No mother could have looked after her baby as Gerasim looked after his little nursling. At first, she—for the pup turned out to be a bitch—was very weak, feeble, and ugly, but by degrees she grew stronger and improved in looks, and thanks to the unflagging care of her preserver, in eight months’ time she was transformed into a very pretty dog of the spaniel breed, with long ears, a bushy spiral tail, and large expressive eyes. She was devotedly attached to Gerasim, and was never a yard from his side; she always followed him about wagging her tail. He had even given her a name—the dumb know that their inarticulate noises call the attention of others. He called her Mumu. All the servants in the house liked her, and called her Mumu, too. She was very intelligent, she was friendly with every one, but was only fond of Gerasim. Gerasim, on his side, loved her passionately, and he did not like it when other people stroked her; whether he was afraid for her, or jealous—God knows! She used to wake him in the morning, pulling at his coat; she used to take the reins in her mouth, and bring him up the old horse that carried the water, with whom she was on very friendly terms. With a face of great importance, she used to go with him to the river; she used to watch his brooms and spades, and never allowed any one to go into his garret. He cut a little hole in his door on purpose for her, and she seemed to feel that only in Gerasim’s garret she was completely mistress and at home; and directly she went in, she used to jump with a satisfied air upon the bed. At night she did not sleep at all, but she never barked without sufficient cause, like some stupid house-dog, who, sitting on its hind-legs, blinking, with its nose in the air, barks simply from dulness, at the stars, usually three times in succession. No! Mumu’s delicate little voice was never raised without good reason; either some stranger was passing close to the fence, or there was some suspicious sound or rustle somewhere…. In fact, she was an excellent watch-dog. It is true that there was another dog in the yard, a tawny old dog with brown spots, called Wolf, but he was never, even at night, let off the chain; and, indeed, he was so decrepit that he did not even wish for freedom. He used to lie curled up in his kennel, and only rarely uttered a sleepy, almost noiseless bark, which broke off at once, as though he were himself aware of its uselessness. Mumu never went into the mistress’s house; and when Gerasim carried wood into the rooms, she always stayed behind, impatiently waiting for him at the steps, pricking up her ears and turning her head to right and to left at the slightest creak of the door….
No mother could have taken care of her baby the way Gerasim took care of his little pup. At first, she—for the pup turned out to be a female—was very weak, frail, and unattractive, but gradually she got stronger and better-looking. Thanks to Gerasim's constant care, in eight months, she transformed into a pretty spaniel with long ears, a fluffy spiral tail, and big expressive eyes. She was completely devoted to Gerasim and was never more than a yard away from him; she followed him around, wagging her tail. He even gave her a name—dumb animals know that their sounds catch people's attention. He called her Mumu. All the servants in the house liked her and called her Mumu too. She was very smart, friendly to everyone, but only truly attached to Gerasim. Gerasim, in turn, loved her deeply, and he didn't like it when other people petted her; whether he was worried about her or just jealous—who knows! She would wake him up in the morning by tugging on his coat; she would take the reins in her mouth and lead him to the old horse that carried the water, with whom she was friends. With a seriously important look, she accompanied him to the river; she watched over his brooms and shovels, never letting anyone go into his attic. He even cut a little hole in his door just for her, and she seemed to understand that only in Gerasim’s attic did she feel completely in charge and at home. As soon as she entered, she'd jump onto the bed, looking satisfied. At night, she never slept, but she never barked without a good reason, unlike some silly house dog that, sitting on its hind legs, staring at the stars, barks three times just out of boredom. No! Mumu’s delicate little voice only raised when there was a real reason—either a stranger passing by the fence or a suspicious sound or rustle nearby. She was actually an excellent watchdog. It’s true there was another dog in the yard, a shabby old dog with brown spots called Wolf, but he was never let off the chain, even at night; in fact, he was so frail that he didn’t even want to be free. He would lie curled up in his kennel, occasionally letting out a sleepy, almost silent bark that would stop immediately, as if he realized how pointless it was. Mumu never entered the mistress's house; when Gerasim carried wood inside, she always waited for him at the steps, ears perked, turning her head left and right at the slightest sound of the door.
So passed another year. Gerasim went on performing his duties as house-porter, and was very well content with his lot, when suddenly an unexpected incident occurred…. One fine summer day the old lady was walking up and down the drawing-room with her dependants. She was in high spirits; she laughed and made jokes. Her servile companions laughed and joked too, but they did not feel particularly mirthful; the household did not much like it, when their mistress was in a lively mood, for, to begin with, she expected from every one prompt and complete participation in her merriment, and was furious if any one showed a face that did not beam with delight, and secondly, these outbursts never lasted long with her, and were usually followed by a sour and gloomy mood. That day she had got up in a lucky hour; at cards she took the four knaves, which means the fulfilment of one’s wishes (she used to try her fortune on the cards every morning), and her tea struck her as particularly delicious, for which her maid was rewarded by words of praise, and by twopence in money. With a sweet smile on her wrinkled lips, the lady walked about the drawing-room and went up to the window. A flower-garden had been laid out before the window, and in the very middle bed, under a rose-bush, lay Mumu busily gnawing a bone. The lady caught sight of her.
So another year went by. Gerasim continued doing his job as the house porter and was quite satisfied with his life when suddenly something unexpected happened. One beautiful summer day, the old lady was pacing back and forth in the drawing room with her attendants. She was in a great mood, laughing and making jokes. Her subservient companions laughed and joked along too, though they didn't genuinely feel happy; the household preferred it when their mistress was not in such a lively spirit because, for one, she expected everyone to join in her joy and would get angry if anyone's face didn’t reflect happiness. Secondly, these cheerful moments never lasted long and were usually followed by a sour and gloomy atmosphere. That day, she had woken up in luck; at cards, she drew four jacks, which meant her wishes would come true (she would test her fortune with cards every morning), and she found her tea especially delightful, for which her maid received compliments and two pence. With a sweet smile on her wrinkled lips, the lady walked around the drawing room and approached the window. A flower garden had been planted outside, and right in the middle bed, under a rose bush, lay Mumu, happily chewing on a bone. The lady spotted her.
“Mercy on us!” she cried suddenly; “what dog is that?”
“Help us!” she shouted suddenly; “what dog is that?”
The companion, addressed by the old lady, hesitated, poor thing, in that wretched state of uneasiness which is common in any person in a dependent position who doesn’t know very well what significance to give to the exclamation of a superior.
The companion, spoken to by the old lady, hesitated, poor thing, in that awful state of unease that anyone in a dependent position experiences when they don't quite know how to interpret the outburst of someone in authority.
“I d … d … don’t know,” she faltered: “I fancy it’s the dumb man’s dog.”
“I d… d… don’t know,” she hesitated. “I think it’s the dumb man’s dog.”
“Mercy!” the lady cut her short: “but it’s a charming little dog! order it to be brought in. Has he had it long? How is it I’ve never seen it before?… Order it to be brought in.”
“Mercy!” the lady interrupted her: “but it’s such a cute little dog! Have it brought in. How long has she had it? Why haven’t I seen it before?… Have it brought in.”
The companion flew at once into the hall.
The companion immediately rushed into the hall.
“Boy, boy!” she shouted: “bring Mumu in at once! She’s in the flower-garden.”
“Hey, boy!” she shouted. “Bring Mumu in right now! She’s in the flower garden.”
“Her name’s Mumu then,” observed the lady: “a very nice name.”
“Her name is Mumu then,” the lady remarked. “That’s a really nice name.”
“Oh, very, indeed!” chimed in the companion. “Make haste, Stepan!”
“Oh, absolutely!” chimed in the friend. “Hurry up, Stepan!”
Stepan, a sturdily-built young fellow, whose duties were those of a footman, rushed headlong into the flower-garden, and tried to capture Mumu, but she cleverly slipped from his fingers, and with her tail in the air, fled full speed to Gerasim, who was at that instant in the kitchen, knocking out and cleaning a barrel, turning it upside down in his hands like a child’s drum. Stepan ran after her, and tried to catch her just at her master’s feet; but the sensible dog would not let a stranger touch her, and with a bound, she got away. Gerasim looked on with a smile at all this ado; at last, Stepan got up, much amazed, and hurriedly explained to him by signs that the mistress wanted the dog brought in to her. Gerasim was a little astonished; he called Mumu, however, picked her up, and handed her over to Stepan. Stepan carried her into the drawing-room, and put her down on the parquette floor. The old lady began calling the dog to her in a coaxing voice. Mumu, who had never in her life been in such magnificent apartments, was very much frightened, and made a rush for the door, but, being driven back by the obsequious Stepan, she began trembling, and huddled close up against the wall.
Stepan, a solidly built young man working as a footman, rushed into the flower garden and tried to catch Mumu, but she cleverly slipped out of his grasp and dashed towards Gerasim, who was in the kitchen at that moment, cleaning and knocking out a barrel like a child playing with a drum. Stepan chased after her, attempting to catch her at her master’s feet; however, the smart dog avoided the stranger and jumped away. Gerasim watched with a smile at the commotion; eventually, Stepan got up, quite surprised, and quickly communicated with gestures that the mistress wanted the dog brought to her. Gerasim was a bit taken aback but called Mumu, picked her up, and handed her to Stepan. Stepan carried Mumu into the drawing-room and placed her on the parquet floor. The old lady began calling the dog to her in a gentle voice. Mumu, who had never been in such fancy rooms before, felt very scared and tried to escape through the door, but when Stepan blocked her way, she began to tremble and huddled against the wall.
“Mumu, Mumu, come to me, come to your mistress,” said the lady; “come, silly thing … don’t be afraid.”
“Mumu, Mumu, come here, come to your owner,” said the lady; “come on, silly thing … don’t be scared.”
“Come, Mumu, come to the mistress,” repeated the companions. “Come along!”
“Come on, Mumu, come to the mistress,” the friends repeated. “Let’s go!”
But Mumu looked round her uneasily, and did not stir.
But Mumu looked around her nervously and didn’t move.
“Bring her something to eat,” said the old lady. “How stupid she is! she won’t come to her mistress. What’s she afraid of?”
“Bring her something to eat,” said the old lady. “How foolish she is! She won’t come to her mistress. What is she scared of?”
“She’s not used to your honour yet,” ventured one of the companions in a timid and conciliatory voice.
“She’s not used to your honor yet,” suggested one of the friends in a shy and calming tone.
Stepan brought in a saucer of milk, and set it down before Mumu, but Mumu would not even sniff at the milk, and still shivered, and looked round as before.
Stepan brought in a saucer of milk and placed it in front of Mumu, but Mumu didn’t even sniff the milk and continued to shiver, looking around as before.
“Ah, what a silly you are!” said the lady, and going up to her, she stooped down, and was about to stroke her, but Mumu turned her head abruptly, and showed her teeth. The lady hurriedly drew back her hand….
“Ah, what a silly you are!” said the lady. As she approached her, she bent down, ready to pet her, but Mumu quickly turned her head and bared her teeth. The lady quickly pulled back her hand...
A momentary silence followed. Mumu gave a faint whine, as though she would complain and apologise…. The old lady moved back, scowling. The dog’s sudden movement had frightened her.
A brief silence followed. Mumu let out a quiet whine, as if she wanted to complain and apologize…. The old lady stepped back, frowning. The dog's sudden movement had startled her.
“Ah!” shrieked all the companions at once, “she’s not bitten you, has she? Heaven forbid! (Mumu had never bitten any one in her life.) Ah! ah!”
“Ah!” all the friends shouted together, “she hasn’t bitten you, has she? God forbid! (Mumu had never bitten anyone in her life.) Ah! ah!”
“Take her away,” said the old lady in a changed voice. “Wretched little dog! What a spiteful creature!”
“Take her away,” said the old lady in a different tone. “Miserable little dog! What a nasty little thing!”
And, turning round deliberately, she went towards her boudoir. Her companions looked timidly at one another, and were about to follow her, but she stopped, stared coldly at them, and said, “What’s that for, pray? I’ve not called you,” and went out.
And, turning around deliberately, she headed towards her room. Her friends glanced nervously at each other and were about to follow her, but she stopped, glared at them, and said, “What’s that for? I didn’t call for you,” and left.
The companions waved their hands to Stepan in despair. He picked up Mumu, and flung her promptly outside the door, just at Gerasim’s feet, and half-an-hour later a profound stillness reigned in the house, and the old lady sat on her sofa looking blacker than a thunder-cloud.
The friends waved their hands at Stepan in despair. He grabbed Mumu and tossed her out the door, right at Gerasim's feet, and half an hour later, a deep silence settled in the house, while the old lady sat on her sofa looking angrier than a thundercloud.
What trifles, if you think of it, will sometimes disturb any one!
What little things, if you think about it, can sometimes bother anyone!
Till evening the lady was out of humour; she did not talk to any one, did not play cards, and passed a bad night. She fancied the eau-de-Cologne they gave her was not the same as she usually had, and that her pillow smelt of soap, and she made the wardrobe-maid smell all the bed linen—in fact she was very upset and cross altogether. Next morning she ordered Gavrila to be summoned an hour earlier than usual.
Till evening, the lady was in a bad mood; she didn’t talk to anyone, didn’t play cards, and had a rough night. She thought the cologne they gave her wasn’t the same as what she usually had, and that her pillow smelled like soap, so she had the wardrobe maid sniff all the bed linen—in short, she was really bothered and irritable overall. The next morning, she had Gavrila summoned an hour earlier than usual.
“Tell me, please,” she began, directly the latter, not without some inward trepidation, crossed the threshold of her boudoir, “what dog was that barking all night in our yard? It wouldn’t let me sleep!”
“Tell me, please,” she began, addressing him directly, not without some inner anxiety, as he crossed the threshold of her room, “what dog was barking all night in our yard? It kept me up!”
“A dog, ’m … what dog, ’m … may be, the dumb man’s dog, ’m,” he brought out in a rather unsteady voice.
“A dog, I’m … what dog, I’m … maybe, the stupid man’s dog, I’m,” he said in a somewhat shaky voice.
“I don’t know whether it was the dumb man’s or whose, but it wouldn’t let me sleep. And I wonder what we have such a lot of dogs for! I wish to know. We have a yard dog, haven’t we?”
“I don’t know if it was the dumb guy's or whose, but it wouldn’t let me sleep. And I wonder why we have so many dogs! I want to know. We have a yard dog, right?”
“Oh yes, ’m, we have, ’m. Wolf, ’m.”
“Oh yes, ma’am, we have, ma’am. Wolf, ma’am.”
“Well, why more, what do we want more dogs for? It’s simply introducing disorder. There’s no one in control in the house—that’s what it is. And what does the dumb man want with a dog? Who gave him leave to keep dogs in my yard? Yesterday I went to the window, and there it was lying in the flower-garden; it had dragged in some nastiness it was gnawing, and my roses are planted there….”
“Well, why do we need more dogs? It’s just causing chaos. There’s no one in charge around here—that’s the problem. And what does that clueless guy want with a dog? Who gave him permission to keep dogs in my yard? Yesterday I looked out the window, and there it was lying in the flower garden; it had brought in some gross stuff it was chewing on, and my roses are planted there….”
The lady ceased.
The woman stopped.
“Let her be gone from to-day … do you hear?”
“Let her leave today … do you hear me?”
“Yes, ’m.”
“Yes, I am.”
“To-day. Now go. I will send for you later for the report.”
“To-day. Now go. I’ll call you later for the report.”
Gavrila went away.
Gavrila left.
As he went through the drawing-room, the steward by way of maintaining order moved a bell from one table to another; he stealthily blew his duck-like nose in the hall, and went into the outer-hall. In the outer-hall, on a locker was Stepan asleep in the attitude of a slain warrior in a battalion picture, his bare legs thrust out below the coat which served him for a blanket. The steward gave him a shove, and whispered some instructions to him, to which Stepan responded with something between a yawn and a laugh. The steward went away, and Stepan got up, put on his coat and his boots, went out and stood on the steps. Five minutes had not passed before Gerasim made his appearance with a huge bundle of hewn logs on his back, accompanied by the inseparable Mumu. (The lady had given orders that her bedroom and boudoir should be heated at times even in the summer.) Gerasim turned sideways before the door, shoved it open with his shoulder, and staggered into the house with his load. Mumu, as usual, stayed behind to wait for him. Then Stepan, seizing his chance, suddenly pounced on her, like a kite on a chicken, held her down to the ground, gathered her up in his arms, and without even putting on his cap, ran out of the yard with her, got into the first fly he met, and galloped off to a market-place. There he soon found a purchaser, to whom he sold her for a shilling, on condition that he would keep her for at least a week tied up; then he returned at once. But before he got home, he got off the fly, and going right round the yard, jumped over the fence into the yard from a back street. He was afraid to go in at the gate for fear of meeting Gerasim.
As he walked through the living room, the steward, trying to keep things in order, moved a bell from one table to another. He quietly blew his nose and went into the outer hall. In the outer hall, Stepan was asleep on a bench, sprawled out like a fallen warrior, his bare legs sticking out from under the coat that was his blanket. The steward nudged him and whispered some instructions, to which Stepan replied with a mix of a yawn and a laugh. The steward left, and Stepan got up, put on his coat and boots, went outside, and stood on the steps. Within five minutes, Gerasim showed up, carrying a huge bundle of chopped logs on his back, with his loyal dog Mumu by his side. (The lady had instructed that her bedroom and boudoir should be heated even during summer.) Gerasim turned sideways at the door, pushed it open with his shoulder, and staggered into the house with his load. Mumu, as usual, stayed behind to wait for him. Seizing the opportunity, Stepan suddenly pounced on her like a hawk catching a chick, pinned her to the ground, scooped her up in his arms, and dashed out of the yard without even putting on his hat. He hopped into the first carriage he saw and raced off to the marketplace. There, he quickly found a buyer and sold her for a shilling, agreeing that she would be kept tied up for at least a week. He then returned immediately. But before he got home, he hopped off the carriage and went all the way around the yard, jumping over the fence from a back street. He was too scared to enter through the gate in case he ran into Gerasim.
His anxiety was unnecessary, however; Gerasim was no longer in the yard. On coming out of the house he had at once missed Mumu. He never remembered her failing to wait for his return, and began running up and down, looking for her, and calling her in his own way…. He rushed up to his garret, up to the hay-loft, ran out into the street, this way and that…. She was lost! He turned to the other serfs, with the most despairing signs, questioned them about her, pointing to her height from the ground, describing her with his hands…. Some of them really did not know what had become of Mumu, and merely shook their heads, others did know, and smiled to him for all response, while the steward assumed an important air, and began scolding the coachmen. Then Gerasim ran right away out of the yard.
His anxiety was pointless, though; Gerasim wasn't in the yard anymore. As soon as he stepped out of the house, he immediately noticed Mumu was gone. He didn't remember her ever not waiting for him to come back, so he started running around, searching for her and calling her in his own way…. He dashed up to his room, then to the hayloft, and ran out into the street, looking everywhere…. She was gone! He turned to the other workers, showing his desperation, asking them about her, pointing to her height, and gesturing with his hands…. Some of them genuinely didn't know where Mumu had gone and just shook their heads, while others did know and smiled at him in response, and the steward put on a serious face and began scolding the coachmen. Then Gerasim ran straight out of the yard.
It was dark by the time he came back. From his worn-out look, his unsteady walk, and his dusty clothes, it might be surmised that he had been running over half Moscow. He stood still opposite the windows of the mistress’ house, took a searching look at the steps where a group of house-serfs were crowded together, turned away, and uttered once more his inarticulate “Mumu.” Mumu did not answer. He went away. Every one looked after him, but no one smiled or said a word, and the inquisitive postillion Antipka reported next morning in the kitchen that the dumb man had been groaning all night.
It was dark by the time he returned. From his tired appearance, shaky walk, and dusty clothes, it seemed like he had been running all over half of Moscow. He paused in front of the mistress’s house, took a long look at the steps where a group of house-servants were gathered, turned away, and mumbled his inarticulate “Mumu” again. Mumu didn’t respond. He walked away. Everyone watched him, but no one smiled or said anything, and the curious postboy Antipka reported the next morning in the kitchen that the mute man had been groaning all night.
All the next day Gerasim did not show himself, so that they were obliged to send the coachman Potap for water instead of him, at which the coachman Potap was anything but pleased. The lady asked Gavrila if her orders had been carried out. Gavrila replied that they had. The next morning Gerasim came out of his garret, and went about his work. He came in to his dinner, ate it, and went out again, without a greeting to any one. His face, which had always been lifeless, as with all deaf-mutes, seemed now to be turned to stone. After dinner he went out of the yard again, but not for long; he came back, and went straight up to the hay-loft. Night came on, a clear moonlight night. Gerasim lay breathing heavily, and incessantly turning from side to side. Suddenly he felt something pull at the skirt of his coat. He started, but did not raise his head, and even shut his eyes tighter. But again there was a pull, stronger than before; he jumped up … before him, with an end of string round her neck, was Mumu, twisting and turning. A prolonged cry of delight broke from his speechless breast; he caught up Mumu, and hugged her tight in his arms, she licked his nose and eyes, and beard and moustache, all in one instant…. He stood a little, thought a minute, crept cautiously down from the hay-loft, looked round, and having satisfied himself that no one could see him, made his way successfully to his garret. Gerasim had guessed before that his dog had not got lost by her own doing, that she must have been taken away by the mistress’ orders; the servants had explained to him by signs that his Mumu had snapped at her, and he determined to take his own measures. First he fed Mumu with a bit of bread, fondled her, and put her to bed, then he fell to meditating, and spent the whole night long in meditating how he could best conceal her. At last he decided to leave her all day in the garret, and only to come in now and then to see her, and to take her out at night. The hole in the door he stopped up effectually with his old overcoat, and almost before it was light he was already in the yard, as though nothing had happened, even—innocent guile!—the same expression of melancholy on his face. It did not even occur to the poor deaf man that Mumu would betray herself by her whining; in reality, every one in the house was soon aware that the dumb man’s dog had come back, and was locked up in his garret, but from sympathy with him and with her, and partly, perhaps, from dread of him, they did not let him know that they had found out his secret. The steward scratched his hand, and gave a despairing wave of his hand, as much as to say, “Well, well, God have mercy on him! If only it doesn’t come to the mistress’ ears!”
All the next day, Gerasim didn’t show up, so they had to send the coachman Potap for water instead of him, which Potap wasn’t happy about. The lady asked Gavrila if her orders had been followed. Gavrila said they had. The next morning, Gerasim came down from his attic and went about his work. He had his dinner, ate it, and went back out again without greeting anyone. His face, always expressionless like most deaf-mutes, now seemed as if it were made of stone. After dinner, he left the yard again, but not for long; he returned and headed straight for the hay-loft. Night came, a clear moonlit night. Gerasim lay there, breathing heavily and rolling from side to side. Suddenly, he felt something tugging at the hem of his coat. He jumped but didn’t raise his head, even tightening his closed eyes. Then he felt a stronger tug; he jumped up and saw Mumu in front of him, with a piece of string around her neck, twisting and turning. A long cry of joy escaped his silent lips; he picked up Mumu and held her tightly in his arms as she licked his nose, eyes, beard, and mustache all at once… He paused for a moment, thought for a minute, cautiously climbed down from the hay-loft, looked around, and, satisfied that no one could see him, made his way back to his attic. Gerasim had suspected that his dog hadn’t run away on her own; she must have been taken away on the mistress’ orders. The servants had explained to him through gestures that Mumu had snapped at her, and he decided to take matters into his own hands. He first fed Mumu a piece of bread, cuddled her, and put her to bed, then he spent the entire night thinking about how to best hide her. Finally, he decided to keep her in the attic all day and only check on her occasionally, taking her out at night. He effectively blocked the hole in the door with his old overcoat, and almost before dawn, he was already in the yard as if nothing had happened, even wearing—innocent guile!—the same melancholic expression on his face. The poor deaf man didn’t even think that Mumu would give herself away by whining; in reality, everyone in the house soon realized that the mute man’s dog had come back and was locked in his attic, but out of sympathy for him and her, and perhaps also out of fear of him, they didn’t let him know they had discovered his secret. The steward scratched his hand and waved it in despair, as if to say, “Well, well, God have mercy on him! If only the mistress doesn’t hear about this!”
But the dumb man had never shown such energy as on that day; he cleaned and scraped the whole courtyard, pulled up every single weed with his own hand, tugged up every stake in the fence of the flower-garden, to satisfy himself that they were strong enough, and unaided drove them in again; in fact, he toiled and laboured so that even the old lady noticed his zeal. Twice in the course of the day Gerasim went stealthily in to see his prisoner; when night came on, he lay down to sleep with her in the garret, not in the hay-loft, and only at two o’clock in the night he went out to take her a turn in the fresh air. After walking about the courtyard a good while with her, he was just turning back, when suddenly a rustle was heard behind the fence on the side of the back street. Mumu pricked up her ears, growled—went up to the fence, sniffed, and gave vent to a loud shrill bark. Some drunkard had thought fit to take refuge under the fence for the night. At that very time the old lady had just fallen asleep after a prolonged fit of “nervous agitation”; these fits of agitation always overtook her after too hearty a supper. The sudden bark waked her up: her heart palpitated, and she felt faint. “Girls, girls!” she moaned. “Girls!” The terrified maids ran into her bedroom. “Oh, oh, I am dying!” she said, flinging her arms about in her agitation. “Again, that dog again!… Oh, send for the doctor. They mean to be the death of me…. The dog, the dog again! Oh!” And she let her head fall back, which always signified a swoon. They rushed for the doctor, that is, for the household physician, Hariton. This doctor, whose whole qualification consisted in wearing soft-soled boots, knew how to feel the pulse delicately. He used to sleep fourteen hours out of the twenty-four, but the rest of the time he was always sighing, and continually dosing the old lady with cherrybay drops. This doctor ran up at once, fumigated the room with burnt feathers, and when the old lady opened her eyes, promptly offered her a wineglass of the hallowed drops on a silver tray. The old lady took them, but began again at once in a tearful voice complaining of the dog, of Gavrila, and of her fate, declaring that she was a poor old woman, and that every one had forsaken her, no one pitied her, every one wished her dead. Meanwhile the luckless Mumu had gone on barking, while Gerasim tried in vain to call her away from the fence. “There … there … again,” groaned the old lady, and once more she turned up the whites of her eyes. The doctor whispered to a maid, she rushed into the outer-hall, and shook Stepan, he ran to wake Gavrila, Gavrila in a fury ordered the whole household to get up.
But the mute man had never shown such energy as he did that day; he cleaned and scraped the entire courtyard, pulled up every weed by hand, checked every stake in the flower garden fence to make sure they were sturdy enough, and managed to drive them back in again by himself. He worked so hard that even the old lady noticed his enthusiasm. Twice during the day, Gerasim quietly went in to check on his prisoner; when night fell, he lay down with her in the attic, not in the hayloft, and only at two o’clock in the morning did he take her out for some fresh air. After walking around the courtyard for a while with her, he was about to head back when suddenly he heard a rustling behind the fence on the back street. Mumu perked up, growled, approached the fence, sniffed, and let out a loud, sharp bark. Some drunk had decided to take shelter under the fence for the night. At that moment, the old lady had just fallen asleep after a long bout of “nervous agitation”; these episodes always hit her after a big dinner. The sudden bark woke her up: her heart raced, and she felt faint. “Girls, girls!” she moaned. “Girls!” The frightened maids rushed into her bedroom. “Oh, oh, I’m dying!” she exclaimed, flailing her arms in distress. “That dog again!… Oh, send for the doctor. They’re trying to kill me… The dog, the dog again! Oh!” And she let her head fall back, which always meant she was about to faint. They dashed off for the doctor, specifically the household physician, Hariton. This doctor, whose only qualification was wearing soft-soled shoes, knew how to take a pulse gently. He would sleep fourteen hours a day, but the rest of the time he was always sighing and constantly giving the old lady cherry bay drops. The doctor hurried over, filled the room with the smell of burnt feathers, and as soon as the old lady opened her eyes, he promptly offered her a wineglass of the precious drops on a silver tray. The old lady took them but immediately began whining again in a tearful voice about the dog, about Gavrila, and her fate, claiming she was a poor old woman, that everyone had abandoned her, no one cared, and everyone wanted her dead. Meanwhile, the unfortunate Mumu continued barking, while Gerasim tried unsuccessfully to call her away from the fence. “There … there … again,” the old lady groaned, turning her eyes up once more. The doctor whispered to a maid, who rushed into the hallway and shook Stepan awake; he ran to wake Gavrila, who in a rage ordered the whole household to get up.
Gerasim turned round, saw lights and shadows moving in the windows, and with an instinct of coming trouble in his heart, put Mumu under his arm, ran into his garret, and locked himself in. A few minutes later five men were banging at his door, but feeling the resistance of the bolt, they stopped. Gavrila ran up in a fearful state of mind, and ordered them all to wait there and watch till morning. Then he flew off himself to the maids’ quarter, and through an old companion, Liubov Liubimovna, with whose assistance he used to steal tea, sugar, and other groceries and to falsify the accounts, sent word to the mistress that the dog had unhappily run back from somewhere, but that to-morrow she should be killed, and would the mistress be so gracious as not to be angry and to overlook it. The old lady would probably not have been so soon appeased, but the doctor had in his haste given her fully forty drops instead of twelve. The strong dose of narcotic acted; in a quarter of an hour the old lady was in a sound and peaceful sleep; while Gerasim was lying with a white face on his bed, holding Mumu’s mouth tightly shut.
Gerasim turned around, noticed lights and shadows moving in the windows, and sensing trouble, tucked Mumu under his arm, ran to his attic, and locked himself in. A few minutes later, five men were knocking at his door, but when they felt the resistance of the bolt, they stopped. Gavrila ran up, clearly anxious, and told them all to wait there and keep watch until morning. Then he hurried off to the maids' quarters and, through an old friend, Liubov Liubimovna, who had helped him steal tea, sugar, and other supplies and rig the accounts, sent a message to the mistress that the dog had unfortunately returned from somewhere, but that it should be put down tomorrow, and would the mistress be kind enough not to be angry and let it slide. The old lady might not have calmed down so quickly, but the doctor, in his rush, had given her a full forty drops instead of twelve. The strong dose of sedative took effect; in about fifteen minutes, the old lady was sound asleep, while Gerasim lay on his bed, pale, holding Mumu's mouth tightly shut.
Next morning the lady woke up rather late. Gavrila was waiting till she should be awake, to give the order for a final assault on Gerasim’s stronghold, while he prepared himself to face a fearful storm. But the storm did not come off. The old lady lay in bed and sent for the eldest of her dependent companions.
Next morning, the lady woke up pretty late. Gavrila was waiting for her to wake up so he could give the order for a final attack on Gerasim’s stronghold, while he got ready to face a tough storm. But the storm didn’t happen. The old lady stayed in bed and called for her oldest companion.
“Liubov Liubimovna,” she began in a subdued weak voice—she was fond of playing the part of an oppressed and forsaken victim; needless to say, every one in the house was made extremely uncomfortable at such times—“Liubov Liubimovna, you see my position; go, my love to Gavrila Andreitch, and talk to him a little. Can he really prize some wretched cur above the repose—the very life—of his mistress? I could not bear to think so,” she added, with an expression of deep feeling. “Go, my love; be so good as to go to Gavrila Andreitch for me.”
“Liubov Liubimovna,” she began in a faint, weak voice—she enjoyed playing the role of a pitiful and abandoned victim; needless to say, everyone in the house felt really uncomfortable during these moments—“Liubov Liubimovna, you understand my situation; please, my dear, go to Gavrila Andreitch and speak to him for a bit. Can he really value some miserable creature over the peace—the very life—of his mistress? I couldn’t bear to think that,” she added, with a look of deep emotion. “Please, my dear; I would appreciate it if you could go to Gavrila Andreitch for me.”
Liubov Liubimovna went to Gavrila’s room. What conversation passed between them is not known, but a short time after, a whole crowd of people was moving across the yard in the direction of Gerasim’s garret. Gavrila walked in front, holding his cap on with his hand, though there was no wind. The footmen and cooks were close behind him; Uncle Tail was looking out of a window, giving instructions, that is to say, simply waving his hands. At the rear there was a crowd of small boys skipping and hopping along; half of them were outsiders who had run up. On the narrow staircase leading to the garret sat one guard; at the door were standing two more with sticks. They began to mount the stairs, which they entirely blocked up. Gavrila went up to the door, knocked with his fist, shouting, “Open the door!”
Liubov Liubimovna walked into Gavrila’s room. We don’t know what they talked about, but shortly after, a large group of people was moving across the yard toward Gerasim’s attic. Gavrila was in front, holding his cap on his head even though there was no wind. The footmen and cooks were right behind him; Uncle Tail was looking out of a window, giving directions, which mostly involved waving his hands. At the back, a bunch of young boys were skipping and hopping along; half of them were random kids who had come over. On the narrow staircase leading to the attic sat one guard; two more stood at the door with sticks. They started to climb the stairs, completely blocking the way. Gavrila approached the door, knocked with his fist, and shouted, “Open the door!”
A stifled bark was audible, but there was no answer.
A muffled bark could be heard, but there was no response.
“Open the door, I tell you,” he repeated.
“Open the door, I’m telling you,” he repeated.
“But, Gavrila Andreitch,” Stepan observed from below, “he’s deaf, you know—he doesn’t hear.”
“But, Gavrila Andreitch,” Stepan said from below, “he’s deaf, you know—he can’t hear.”
They all laughed.
They all laughed.
“What are we to do?” Gavrila rejoined from above.
“What are we supposed to do?” Gavrila replied from above.
“Why, there’s a hole there in the door,” answered Stepan, “so you shake the stick in there.”
“Why, there’s a hole in the door,” Stepan replied, “so you stick the stick in there.”
Gavrila bent down.
Gavrila crouched down.
“He’s stuffed it up with a coat or something.”
“He's messed it up with a coat or something.”
“Well, you just push the coat in.”
“Well, you just shove the coat in.”
At this moment a smothered bark was heard again.
At that moment, a muffled bark was heard again.
“See, see—she speaks for herself,” was remarked in the crowd, and again they laughed.
“Look, look—she speaks for herself,” someone in the crowd said, and they laughed again.
Gavrila scratched his ear.
Gavrila scratched his ear.
“No, mate,” he responded at last, “you can poke the coat in yourself, if you like.”
“No, mate,” he finally replied, “you can poke the coat in yourself if you want.”
“All right, let me.”
"Okay, I'll do it."
And Stepan scrambled up, took the stick, pushed in the coat, and began waving the stick about in the opening, saying, “Come out, come out!” as he did so. He was still waving the stick, when suddenly the door of the garret was flung open; all the crowd flew pell-mell down the stairs instantly, Gavrila first of all. Uncle Tail locked the window.
And Stepan quickly got up, grabbed the stick, stuffed the coat in, and started waving the stick in the doorway, saying, “Come out, come out!” while he did. He was still waving the stick when suddenly the door of the attic flew open; the whole crowd rushed down the stairs immediately, with Gavrila leading the way. Uncle Tail locked the window.
“Come, come, come,” shouted Gavrila from the yard, “mind what you’re about.”
“Come on, come on, come on,” shouted Gavrila from the yard, “be careful what you’re doing.”
Gerasim stood without stirring in his doorway. The crowd gathered at the foot of the stairs. Gerasim, with his arms akimbo, looked down at all these poor creatures in German coats; in his red peasant’s shirt he looked like a giant before them. Gavrila took a step forward.
Gerasim stood still in his doorway. The crowd gathered at the bottom of the stairs. Gerasim, with his hands on his hips, looked down at all these poor people in German coats; in his red peasant shirt, he resembled a giant before them. Gavrila took a step forward.
“Mind, mate,” said he, “don’t be insolent.”
“Listen up, buddy,” he said, “don’t be disrespectful.”
And he began to explain to him by signs that the mistress insists on having his dog; that he must hand it over at once, or it would be the worse for him.
And he started to tell him through gestures that the lady demands his dog; that he needs to give it up right away, or things will end badly for him.
Gerasim looked at him, pointed to the dog, made a motion with his hand round his neck, as though he were pulling a noose tight, and glanced with a face of inquiry at the steward.
Gerasim looked at him, pointed to the dog, gestured with his hand around his neck, as if tightening a noose, and glanced questioningly at the steward.
“Yes, yes,” the latter assented, nodding; “yes, just so.”
“Yes, yes,” the other person agreed, nodding; “yes, exactly.”
Gerasim dropped his eyes, then all of a sudden roused himself and pointed to Mumu, who was all the while standing beside him, innocently wagging her tail and pricking up her ears inquisitively. Then he repeated the strangling action round his neck and significantly struck himself on the breast, as though announcing he would take upon himself the task of killing Mumu.
Gerasim looked down, then suddenly snapped back to reality and pointed at Mumu, who had been standing next to him, innocently wagging her tail and perked up her ears in curiosity. Then he mimicked the action of choking himself and significantly pounded his chest, as if to declare that he would take on the job of killing Mumu.
“But you’ll deceive us,” Gavrila waved back in response.
“But you’ll trick us,” Gavrila replied, waving back.
Gerasim looked at him, smiled scornfully, struck himself again on the breast, and slammed-to the door.
Gerasim looked at him, smiled disdainfully, hit his chest again, and slammed the door shut.
They all looked at one another in silence.
They all stared at each other in silence.
“What does that mean?” Gavrila began. “He’s locked himself in.”
“What does that mean?” Gavrila started. “He’s locked himself in.”
“Let him be, Gavrila Andreitch,” Stepan advised; “he’ll do it if he’s promised. He’s like that, you know…. If he makes a promise, it’s a certain thing. He’s not like us others in that. The truth’s the truth with him. Yes, indeed.”
“Just leave him alone, Gavrila Andreitch,” Stepan suggested; “he’ll come through if he promised. That’s just how he is, you know…. Once he makes a promise, you can count on it. He’s different from the rest of us in that way. Honesty is important to him. Yes, absolutely.”
“Yes,” they all repeated, nodding their heads, “yes—that’s so—yes.”
“Yes,” they all echoed, nodding their heads, “yes—that’s right—yes.”
Uncle Tail opened his window, and he too said, “Yes.”
Uncle Tail opened his window and also said, “Yes.”
“Well, may be, we shall see,” responded Gavrila; “any way, we won’t take off the guard. Here you, Eroshka!” he added, addressing a poor fellow in a yellow nankeen coat, who considered himself to be a gardener, “what have you to do? Take a stick and sit here, and if anything happens, run to me at once!”
“Well, maybe we’ll see,” replied Gavrila. “Anyway, we’re not taking off the guard. Hey, Eroshka!” he called out to a poor guy in a yellow nankeen coat, who thought of himself as a gardener. “What are you supposed to do? Take a stick and sit here, and if anything happens, come to me right away!”
Eroshka took a stick, and sat down on the bottom stair. The crowd dispersed, all except a few inquisitive small boys, while Gavrila went home and sent word through Liubov Liubimovna to the mistress, that everything had been done, while he sent a postillion for a policeman in case of need. The old lady tied a knot in her handkerchief, sprinkled some eau-de-Cologne on it, sniffed at it, and rubbed her temples with it, drank some tea, and, being still under the influence of the cherrybay drops, fell asleep again.
Eroshka picked up a stick and sat down on the bottom step. The crowd broke up, except for a few curious little boys, while Gavrila headed home and relayed a message through Liubov Liubimovna to the mistress, letting her know that everything was taken care of. He also sent a postillion to fetch a policeman if needed. The old lady tied a knot in her handkerchief, sprinkled some cologne on it, took a sniff, rubbed her temples with it, drank some tea, and, still feeling the effects of the cherrybay drops, fell asleep again.
An hour after all this hubbub the garret door opened, and Gerasim showed himself. He had on his best coat; he was leading Mumu by a string. Eroshka moved aside and let him pass. Gerasim went to the gates. All the small boys in the yard stared at him in silence. He did not even turn round; he only put his cap on in the street. Gavrila sent the same Eroshka to follow him and keep watch on him as a spy. Eroshka, seeing from a distance that he had gone into a cookshop with his dog, waited for him to come out again.
An hour after all the commotion, the attic door opened, and Gerasim stepped out. He was wearing his best coat and was leading Mumu by a string. Eroshka moved aside to let him pass. Gerasim walked towards the gates. All the little boys in the yard stared at him in silence. He didn't even look back; he just put his cap on once he was outside. Gavrila sent Eroshka to follow him and keep an eye on him like a spy. Eroshka, seeing from a distance that he had gone into a diner with his dog, waited for him to come out again.
Gerasim was well known at the cookshop, and his signs were understood. He asked for cabbage soup with meat in it, and sat down with his arms on the table. Mumu stood beside his chair, looking calmly at him with her intelligent eyes. Her coat was glossy; one could see she had just been combed down. They brought Gerasim the soup. He crumbled some bread into it, cut the meat up small, and put the plate on the ground. Mumu began eating in her usual refined way, her little muzzle daintily held so as scarcely to touch her food. Gerasim gazed a long while at her; two big tears suddenly rolled from his eyes; one fell on the dog’s brow, the other into the soup. He shaded his face with his hand. Mumu ate up half the plateful, and came away from it, licking her lips. Gerasim got up, paid for the soup, and went out, followed by the rather perplexed glances of the waiter. Eroshka, seeing Gerasim, hid round a corner, and letting him get in front, followed him again.
Gerasim was well-known at the cookshop, and people understood his signals. He ordered cabbage soup with meat and sat down with his arms on the table. Mumu stood beside his chair, looking at him calmly with her intelligent eyes. Her coat was shiny; it was clear she had just been groomed. They brought Gerasim the soup. He crumbled some bread into it, cut the meat into small pieces, and put the plate on the ground. Mumu started eating in her usual polite manner, her little muzzle held delicately so it barely touched her food. Gerasim stared at her for a long time; then suddenly, two big tears rolled down his cheeks, one landing on the dog’s brow and the other into the soup. He covered his face with his hand. Mumu finished half the plate and walked away, licking her lips. Gerasim got up, paid for the soup, and left, followed by the confused looks of the waiter. Eroshka, seeing Gerasim, hid around a corner and let him pass before following him again.
Gerasim walked without haste, still holding Mumu by a string. When he got to the corner of the street, he stood still as though reflecting, and suddenly set off with rapid steps to the Crimean Ford. On the way he went into the yard of a house, where a lodge was being built, and carried away two bricks under his arm. At the Crimean Ford, he turned along the bank, went to a place where there were two little rowing-boats fastened to stakes (he had noticed them there before), and jumped into one of them with Mumu. A lame old man came out of a shed in the corner of a kitchen-garden and shouted after him; but Gerasim only nodded, and began rowing so vigorously, though against stream, that in an instant he had darted two hundred yards away. The old man stood for a while, scratched his back first with the left and then with the right hand, and went back hobbling to the shed.
Gerasim walked without rushing, still holding Mumu by a string. When he reached the corner of the street, he paused as if deep in thought, then suddenly started walking quickly toward the Crimean Ford. On the way, he stopped in the yard of a house where a small lodge was under construction and grabbed two bricks, tucking them under his arm. At the Crimean Ford, he walked along the bank to where he spotted two small rowing boats tied to stakes (he had seen them there before) and jumped into one of them with Mumu. An old man with a limp came out of a shed in the corner of a garden and shouted after him, but Gerasim just nodded and began rowing fiercely, even against the current, so that in no time he was two hundred yards away. The old man stood there for a bit, scratched his back first with one hand and then the other, and hobbled back to the shed.
Gerasim rowed on and on. Moscow was soon left behind. Meadows stretched each side of the bank, market gardens, fields, and copses; peasants’ huts began to make their appearance. There was the fragrance of the country. He threw down his oars, bent his head down to Mumu, who was sitting facing him on a dry cross seat—the bottom of the boat was full of water—and stayed motionless, his mighty hands clasped upon her back, while the boat was gradually carried back by the current towards the town. At last Gerasim drew himself up hurriedly, with a sort of sick anger in his face, he tied up the bricks he had taken with string, made a running noose, put it round Mumu’s neck, lifted her up over the river, and for the last time looked at her…. she watched him confidingly and without any fear, faintly wagging her tail. He turned away, frowned, and wrung his hands…. Gerasim heard nothing, neither the quick shrill whine of Mumu as she fell, nor the heavy splash of the water; for him the noisiest day was soundless and silent as even the stillest night is not silent to us. When he opened his eyes again, little wavelets were hurrying over the river, chasing one another; as before they broke against the boat’s side, and only far away behind wide circles moved widening to the bank.
Gerasim kept rowing endlessly. Moscow was soon behind him. Meadows stretched along both sides of the bank, with market gardens, fields, and small woods; peasant huts started to appear. The scent of the countryside filled the air. He dropped his oars, leaned down to Mumu, who was sitting across from him on a dry, makeshift seat—the bottom of the boat was flooded—and stayed still, his strong hands resting on her back, while the boat was slowly carried back by the current toward the town. Finally, Gerasim quickly sat up, a look of nauseating anger on his face. He tied up the bricks he had brought with string, made a loop, put it around Mumu’s neck, lifted her over the river, and looked at her one last time…. she looked back at him trustingly and without fear, her tail wagging slightly. He turned away, scowled, and wrung his hands…. Gerasim heard nothing, neither Mumu’s quick, high-pitched whine as she fell nor the heavy splash of the water; for him, the loudest day was as silent as even the calmest night is not silent to us. When he opened his eyes again, little waves were racing over the river, chasing each other; as before, they crashed against the side of the boat, and far behind, wide circles moved outward toward the bank.
Directly Gerasim had vanished from Eroshka’s sight, the latter returned home and reported what he had seen.
Directly after Gerasim disappeared from Eroshka’s sight, he went home and told what he had seen.
“Well, then,” observed Stepan, “he’ll drown her. Now we can feel easy about it. If he once promises a thing….”
“Well, then,” noted Stepan, “he’ll drown her. Now we can be at ease about it. If he promises something once….”
No one saw Gerasim during the day. He did not have dinner at home. Evening came on; they were all gathered together to supper, except him.
No one saw Gerasim during the day. He didn’t have dinner at home. Evening came; they were all gathered together for supper, except for him.
“What a strange creature that Gerasim is!” piped a fat laundrymaid; “fancy, upsetting himself like that over a dog…. Upon my word!”
“What a strange guy that Gerasim is!” exclaimed a chubby laundrymaid; “imagine, getting all worked up over a dog…. I swear!”
“But Gerasim has been here,” Stepan cried all at once, scraping up his porridge with a spoon.
“But Gerasim has been here,” Stepan suddenly exclaimed, scooping up his porridge with a spoon.
“How? when?”
"How? When?"
“Why, a couple of hours ago. Yes, indeed! I ran against him at the gate; he was going out again from here; he was coming out of the yard. I tried to ask him about his dog, but he wasn’t in the best of humours, I could see. Well, he gave me a shove; I suppose he only meant to put me out of his way, as if he’d say, ‘Let me go, do!’ but he fetched me such a crack on my neck, so seriously, that—oh! oh!” And Stepan, who could not help laughing, shrugged up and rubbed the back of his head. “Yes,” he added; “he has got a fist; it’s something like a fist, there’s no denying that!”
“Why, just a couple of hours ago. Yep, for real! I ran into him at the gate; he was leaving from here; he was coming out of the yard. I tried to ask him about his dog, but he wasn’t in a great mood, I could tell. Well, he pushed me; I think he just wanted to get me out of his way, like he was saying, ‘Move aside, will you?’ but he gave me such a hard hit on my neck, seriously, that—oh! oh!” And Stepan, who couldn’t help laughing, shrugged and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah,” he added; “he's got a punch; it’s definitely a punch, that’s for sure!”
They all laughed at Stepan, and after supper they separated to go to bed.
They all laughed at Stepan, and after dinner, they parted ways to go to bed.
Meanwhile, at that very time, a gigantic figure with a bag on his shoulders and a stick in his hand, was eagerly and persistently stepping out along the T—— highroad. It was Gerasim. He was hurrying on without looking round; hurrying homewards, to his own village, to his own country. After drowning poor Mumu, he had run back to his garret, hurriedly packed a few things together in an old horsecloth, tied it up in a bundle, tossed it on his shoulder, and so was ready. He had noticed the road carefully when he was brought to Moscow; the village his mistress had taken him from lay only about twenty miles off the highroad. He walked along it with a sort of invincible purpose, a desperate and at the same time joyous determination. He walked, his shoulders thrown back and his chest expanded; his eyes were fixed greedily straight before him. He hastened as though his old mother were waiting for him at home, as though she were calling him to her after long wanderings in strange parts, among strangers. The summer night, that was just drawing in, was still and warm; on one side, where the sun had set, the horizon was still light and faintly flushed with the last glow of the vanished day; on the other side a blue-grey twilight had already risen up. The night was coming up from that quarter. Quails were in hundreds around; corncrakes were calling to one another in the thickets…. Gerasim could not hear them; he could not hear the delicate night-whispering of the trees, by which his strong legs carried him, but he smelt the familiar scent of the ripening rye, which was wafted from the dark fields; he felt the wind, flying to meet him—the wind from home—beat caressingly upon his face, and play with his hair and his beard. He saw before him the whitening road homewards, straight as an arrow. He saw in the sky stars innumerable, lighting up his way, and stepped out, strong and bold as a lion, so that when the rising sun shed its moist rosy light upon the still fresh and unwearied traveller, already thirty miles lay between him and Moscow.
Meanwhile, at that very moment, a huge figure with a bag slung over his shoulder and a stick in his hand was eagerly and determinedly making his way down the T—— highway. It was Gerasim. He was rushing forward without looking back; hurrying home, to his own village, to his own land. After drowning poor Mumu, he had rushed back to his attic, quickly packed a few things into an old horse blanket, tied it up in a bundle, tossed it over his shoulder, and was ready to go. He had remembered the road carefully from when he was brought to Moscow; the village his mistress had taken him from was only about twenty miles off the highway. He walked along it with a kind of unstoppable purpose, a desperate yet joyful determination. He strode with his shoulders back and chest out; his eyes were greedily fixed straight ahead. He hurried as if his old mother was waiting for him at home, as if she were calling him back after long travels in strange places, among strangers. The summer night, just beginning to settle in, was quiet and warm; on one side, where the sun had set, the horizon still glowed faintly with the last light of the day; on the other side, a blue-grey twilight had already started to rise. The night was approaching from that direction. Quails were everywhere, and corncrakes were calling to each other in the thickets… Gerasim couldn’t hear them; he couldn’t hear the gentle night sounds of the trees as his strong legs carried him forward, but he caught the familiar scent of the ripening rye wafting from the dark fields; he felt the wind rushing to meet him—the wind from home—gently brushing against his face and playing with his hair and beard. He saw ahead of him the brightening path home, straight as an arrow. He saw countless stars in the sky lighting his way, and he moved forward, strong and bold as a lion, so that when the rising sun cast its moist rosy light on the still fresh and unworn traveler, thirty miles had already separated him from Moscow.
In a couple of days he was at home, in his little hut, to the great astonishment of the soldier’s wife who had been put in there. After praying before the holy pictures, he set off at once to the village elder. The village elder was at first surprised; but the haycutting had just begun; Gerasim was a first-rate mower, and they put a scythe into his hand on the spot, and he went to mow in his old way, mowing so that the peasants were fairly astounded as they watched his wide sweeping strokes and the heaps he raked together….
In a couple of days, he was back home in his little hut, much to the surprise of the soldier’s wife who had been there. After praying in front of the holy pictures, he immediately headed to see the village elder. The elder was initially taken aback; however, since haycutting had just started, and Gerasim was an excellent mower, they handed him a scythe right away. He began mowing in his usual style, impressing the peasants with his wide sweeping strokes and the piles he collected.
In Moscow the day after Gerasim’s flight they missed him. They went to his garret, rummaged about in it, and spoke to Gavrila. He came, looked, shrugged his shoulders, and decided that the dumb man had either run away or had drowned himself with his stupid dog. They gave information to the police, and informed the lady. The old lady was furious, burst into tears, gave orders that he was to be found whatever happened, declared she had never ordered the dog to be destroyed, and, in fact, gave Gavrila such a rating that he could do nothing all day but shake his head and murmur, “Well!” until Uncle Tail checked him at last, sympathetically echoing “We-ell!” At last the news came from the country of Gerasim’s being there. The old lady was somewhat pacified; at first she issued a mandate for him to be brought back without delay to Moscow; afterwards, however, she declared that such an ungrateful creature was absolutely of no use to her. Soon after this she died herself; and her heirs had no thought to spare for Gerasim; they let their mother’s other servants redeem their freedom on payment of an annual rent.
In Moscow, the day after Gerasim's departure, they realized he was missing. They went to his attic apartment, searched through it, and talked to Gavrila. He came, took a look around, shrugged his shoulders, and decided that the mute man had either run away or had drowned himself along with his useless dog. They reported it to the police and informed the lady. The old lady was furious, burst into tears, insisted that he must be found at any cost, claimed she had never ordered the dog to be put down, and, in fact, gave Gavrila such a scolding that he spent the entire day just shaking his head and murmuring, “Well!” until Uncle Tail finally interrupted him, sympathetically echoing “We-ell!” Eventually, news came from the countryside that Gerasim was there. The old lady calmed down a bit; at first, she commanded that he be brought back to Moscow immediately, but later she declared that such an ungrateful person was completely useless to her. Shortly after that, she passed away herself, and her heirs didn't spare a thought for Gerasim; they allowed their mother's other servants to buy their freedom by paying an annual fee.
And Gerasim is living still, a lonely man in his lonely hut; he is strong and healthy as before, and does the work of four men as before, and as before is serious and steady. But his neighbours have observed that ever since his return from Moscow he has quite given up the society of women; he will not even look at them, and does not keep even a single dog. “It’s his good luck, though,” the peasants reason; “that he can get on without female folk; and as for a dog—what need has he of a dog? you wouldn’t get a thief to go into his yard for any money!” Such is the fame of the dumb man’s Titanic strength.
And Gerasim is still alive, a lonely man in his isolated hut; he is as strong and healthy as ever and works like four men, just like before, remaining serious and steady. However, his neighbors have noticed that ever since he returned from Moscow, he completely avoids the company of women; he won’t even glance at them and doesn't even have a single dog. “He’s lucky, though,” the peasants speculate; “he can manage without women; and as for a dog—what does he need a dog for? No thief would dare to enter his yard for any amount of money!” Such is the reputation of the mute man's incredible strength.
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