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Produced by Suzanne Shell, Michael Lockey, and Project

Produced by Suzanne Shell, Michael Lockey, and Project

Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders

Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders

HAUNTINGS

FANTASTIC STORIES
VERNON LEE

1890

1890

To FLORA PRIESTLEY and ARTHUR LEMON

To Flora Priestley and Arthur Lemon

Are Dedicated

Stay Committed

DIONEA, AMOUR DURE,

and THESE PAGES OF INTRODUCTION AND APOLOGY.

and THESE PAGES OF INTRODUCTION AND APOLOGY.

Preface

Introduction

We were talking last evening—as the blue moon-mist poured in through the old-fashioned grated window, and mingled with our yellow lamplight at table—we were talking of a certain castle whose heir is initiated (as folk tell) on his twenty-first birthday to the knowledge of a secret so terrible as to overshadow his subsequent life. It struck us, discussing idly the various mysteries and terrors that may lie behind this fact or this fable, that no doom or horror conceivable and to be defined in words could ever adequately solve this riddle; that no reality of dreadfulness could seem caught but paltry, bearable, and easy to face in comparison with this vague we know not what.

We were chatting last night—while the blue moonlight filtered in through the old grated window and mixed with our yellow lamp light at the table—we were discussing a certain castle where the heir supposedly learns on his twenty-first birthday a secret so terrifying that it overshadows his entire life afterward. As we talked idly about the different mysteries and fears that might lie behind this fact or fable, it occurred to us that no curse or horror imaginable could ever really explain this riddle; that no actual terror could seem anything but trivial, manageable, and easy to confront compared to this vague unknown that we cannot define.

And this leads me to say, that it seems to me that the supernatural, in order to call forth those sensations, terrible to our ancestors and terrible but delicious to ourselves, skeptical posterity, must necessarily, and with but a few exceptions, remain enwrapped in mystery. Indeed, 'tis the mystery that touches us, the vague shroud of moonbeams that hangs about the haunting lady, the glint on the warrior's breastplate, the click of his unseen spurs, while the figure itself wanders forth, scarcely outlined, scarcely separated from the surrounding trees; or walks, and sucked back, ever and anon, into the flickering shadows.

And this brings me to say that it seems to me that the supernatural, in order to evoke those feelings that were terrifying to our ancestors and are both frightening and thrilling to us, the skeptical future generations, must necessarily, with a few exceptions, remain shrouded in mystery. In fact, it's the mystery that captivates us: the vague glow of moonlight surrounding the haunting figure, the shimmer on the warrior's armor, the sound of his hidden spurs as the figure moves forward, barely defined and hardly distinguishable from the surrounding trees; or walks, only to be drawn back again and again into the flickering shadows.

A number of ingenious persons of our day, desirous of a pocket-superstition, as men of yore were greedy of a pocket-saint to carry about in gold and enamel, a number of highly reasoning men of semi-science have returned to the notion of our fathers, that ghosts have an existence outside our own fancy and emotion; and have culled from the experience of some Jemima Jackson, who fifty years ago, being nine years of age, saw her maiden aunt appear six months after decease, abundant proof of this fact. One feels glad to think the maiden aunt should have walked about after death, if it afforded her any satisfaction, poor soul! but one is struck by the extreme uninterestingness of this lady's appearance in the spirit, corresponding perhaps to her want of charm while in the flesh. Altogether one quite agrees, having duly perused the collection of evidence on the subject, with the wisdom of these modern ghost-experts, when they affirm that you can always tell a genuine ghost-story by the circumstance of its being about a nobody, its having no point or picturesqueness, and being, generally speaking, flat, stale, and unprofitable.

A number of clever people today, wanting a pocket-sized superstition, just like people in the past wanted a pocket saint to carry around in gold and enamel, a group of highly rational individuals from semi-science have revisited the idea of our ancestors that ghosts exist outside our imagination and emotions. They've taken the experience of someone named Jemima Jackson, who, fifty years ago at the age of nine, saw her deceased maiden aunt six months after her passing, as strong evidence of this belief. It's nice to think that the maiden aunt could wander around after death if it brought her any comfort, poor thing! However, one can't help but notice how utterly uninteresting this ghostly appearance was, likely reflecting her lack of charm when she was alive. Overall, after thoroughly reading the collection of evidence on this topic, one completely agrees with the wisdom of these modern ghost experts when they say you can always identify a real ghost story if it’s about a nobody, lacks focus or excitement, and is generally dull, uninspiring, and pointless.

A genuine ghost-story! But then they are not genuine ghost-stories, those tales that tingle through our additional sense, the sense of the supernatural, and fill places, nay whole epochs, with their strange perfume of witchgarden flowers.

A real ghost story! But I guess those aren’t real ghost stories, the ones that send chills through our extra sense, the sense of the supernatural, and fill places, even entire eras, with their weird scent of witch garden flowers.

No, alas! neither the story of the murdered King of Denmark (murdered people, I am told, usually stay quiet, as a scientific fact), nor of that weird woman who saw King James the Poet three times with his shroud wrapped ever higher; nor the tale of the finger of the bronze Venus closing over the wedding-ring, whether told by Morris in verse patterned like some tapestry, or by Mérimée in terror of cynical reality, or droned by the original mediaeval professional story-teller, none of these are genuine ghost-stories. They exist, these ghosts, only in our minds, in the minds of those dead folk; they have never stumbled and fumbled about, with Jemima Jackson's maiden aunt, among the armchairs and rep sofas of reality.

No, unfortunately! Neither the story of the murdered King of Denmark (murdered people, I've heard, usually remain quiet, as a scientific fact), nor that strange woman who saw King James the Poet three times with his shroud wrapped higher each time; nor the tale of the bronze Venus's finger closing over the wedding ring, whether told by Morris in verse that resembles a tapestry, or by Mérimée with a sense of cynical reality, or recited by the original medieval professional storyteller, none of these are real ghost stories. These ghosts exist only in our minds, in the minds of those deceased; they have never wandered through the armchairs and upholstered sofas of our reality alongside Jemima Jackson's maiden aunt.

They are things of the imagination, born there, bred there, sprung from the strange confused heaps, half-rubbish, half-treasure, which lie in our fancy, heaps of half-faded recollections, of fragmentary vivid impressions, litter of multi-colored tatters, and faded herbs and flowers, whence arises that odor (we all know it), musty and damp, but penetratingly sweet and intoxicatingly heady, which hangs in the air when the ghost has swept through the unopened door, and the flickering flames of candle and fire start up once more after waning.

They are creations of the imagination, originating and developing there, emerging from the strange, jumbled piles—half junk, half treasure—that exist in our minds, collections of faded memories, fragmented vivid impressions, scraps of colorful rags, and dried herbs and flowers. From these comes that scent (we all recognize it), musty and damp, yet intensely sweet and intoxicating, which lingers in the air when the ghost has passed through the closed door, and the flickering flames of the candle and fire reignite after dimming.

The genuine ghost? And is not this he, or she, this one born of ourselves, of the weird places we have seen, the strange stories we have heard—this one, and not the aunt of Miss Jemima Jackson? For what use, I entreat you to tell me, is that respectable spinster's vision? Was she worth seeing, that aunt of hers, or would she, if followed, have led the way to any interesting brimstone or any endurable beatitude?

The real ghost? And isn’t this person, born from our experiences, the unusual places we've visited, the bizarre stories we've heard—this one, not Miss Jemima Jackson's aunt? What purpose, I ask you, does that respectable spinster's vision serve? Was her aunt worth seeing, or would she, if we had pursued her, have taken us to any captivating hell or any lasting bliss?

The supernatural can open the caves of Jamschid and scale the ladder of Jacob: what use has it got if it land us in Islington or Shepherd's Bush? It is well known that Dr. Faustus, having been offered any ghost he chose, boldly selected, for Mephistopheles to convey, no less a person than Helena of Troy. Imagine if the familiar fiend had summoned up some Miss Jemima Jackson's Aunt of Antiquity!

The supernatural can unlock the caves of Jamschid and climb the ladder of Jacob: what good is it if it just takes us to Islington or Shepherd's Bush? Everyone knows that Dr. Faustus, when given the chance to choose any ghost he wanted, boldly picked none other than Helena of Troy for Mephistopheles to bring forth. Just imagine if that familiar demon had summoned some antiquated Aunt Jemima Jackson instead!

That is the thing—the Past, the more or less remote Past, of which the prose is clean obliterated by distance—that is the place to get our ghosts from. Indeed we live ourselves, we educated folk of modern times, on the borderland of the Past, in houses looking down on its troubadours' orchards and Greek folks' pillared courtyards; and a legion of ghosts, very vague and changeful, are perpetually to and fro, fetching and carrying for us between it and the Present.

That’s the thing—the Past, whether it’s close or far away, which the writing has completely erased over time—that’s where our ghosts come from. In fact, we, the educated people of today, live right on the edge of the Past, in homes that overlook its troubadours' orchards and the pillared courtyards of Greek people; and a whole army of ghosts, very unclear and ever-shifting, is constantly moving back and forth, bringing things for us between then and now.

Hence, my four little tales are of no genuine ghosts in the scientific sense; they tell of no hauntings such as could be contributed by the Society for Psychical Research, of no specters that can be caught in definite places and made to dictate judicial evidence. My ghosts are what you call spurious ghosts (according to me the only genuine ones), of whom I can affirm only one thing, that they haunted certain brains, and have haunted, among others, my own and my friends'—yours, dear Arthur Lemon, along the dim twilit tracks, among the high growing bracken and the spectral pines, of the south country; and yours, amidst the mist of moonbeams and olive-branches, dear Flora Priestley, while the moonlit sea moaned and rattled against the moldering walls of the house whence Shelley set sail for eternity.

So, my four little stories aren’t about real ghosts in a scientific way; they don’t involve hauntings that could be backed by the Society for Psychical Research, nor do they feature spirits that can be located in specific places and used as legal evidence. My ghosts are what you might call fake ghosts (which I believe are the only real ones), and I can say just one thing about them: they haunted certain minds, including my own and those of my friends—yours, dear Arthur Lemon, along the dark, twilight paths, through the tall bracken and the eerie pines of the southern countryside; and yours, amidst the mist of moonlight and olive branches, dear Flora Priestley, while the moonlit sea crashed and groaned against the crumbling walls of the house from which Shelley set sail for eternity.

VERNON LEE

MAIANO, near FLORENCE, June 1889.

MAIANO, near FLORENCE, June 1889.

Amour Dure:

Love Lasts:

PASSAGES FROM THE DIARY OF SPIRIDION TREPKA.

Part I

Part 1

Urbania, August 20th, 1885.—

Urbania, August 20, 1885.—

I had longed, these years and years, to be in Italy, to come face to face with the Past; and was this Italy, was this the Past? I could have cried, yes cried, for disappointment when I first wandered about Rome, with an invitation to dine at the German Embassy in my pocket, and three or four Berlin and Munich Vandals at my heels, telling me where the best beer and sauerkraut could be had, and what the last article by Grimm or Mommsen was about.

I had been yearning for years to be in Italy, to encounter the Past; and was this really Italy, was this the Past? I could have cried, yes, cried, out of disappointment when I first wandered around Rome, with an invitation to dinner at the German Embassy in my pocket, and three or four Berlin and Munich Vandals trailing behind me, telling me where to find the best beer and sauerkraut, and what the latest article by Grimm or Mommsen was about.

Is this folly? Is it falsehood? Am I not myself a product of modern, northern civilization; is not my coming to Italy due to this very modern scientific vandalism, which has given me a traveling scholarship because I have written a book like all those other atrocious books of erudition and art-criticism? Nay, am I not here at Urbania on the express understanding that, in a certain number of months, I shall produce just another such book? Dost thou imagine, thou miserable Spiridion, thou Pole grown into the semblance of a German pedant, doctor of philosophy, professor even, author of a prize essay on the despots of the fifteenth century, dost thou imagine that thou, with thy ministerial letters and proof-sheets in thy black professorial coat-pocket, canst ever come in spirit into the presence of the Past?

Is this foolishness? Is it a lie? Am I not a product of modern, northern civilization? Isn’t my trip to Italy a result of this very modern scientific exploitation, which awarded me a travel scholarship because I wrote a book like all those other terrible books on scholarship and art criticism? No, am I not here in Urbania with the specific expectation that, in a few months, I will produce yet another such book? Do you really think, you miserable Spiridion, you Pole pretending to be a German academic, a doctor of philosophy, a professor no less, who wrote an award-winning essay on the despots of the fifteenth century, that you, with your official letters and proofs tucked in your black professor's jacket, can ever truly connect with the Past?

Too true, alas! But let me forget it, at least, every now and then; as I forgot it this afternoon, while the white bullocks dragged my gig slowly winding along interminable valleys, crawling along interminable hill-sides, with the invisible droning torrent far below, and only the bare grey and reddish peaks all around, up to this town of Urbania, forgotten of mankind, towered and battlemented on the high Apennine ridge. Sigillo, Penna, Fossombrone, Mercatello, Montemurlo—each single village name, as the driver pointed it out, brought to my mind the recollection of some battle or some great act of treachery of former days. And as the huge mountains shut out the setting sun, and the valleys filled with bluish shadow and mist, only a band of threatening smoke-red remaining behind the towers and cupolas of the city on its mountain-top, and the sound of church bells floated across the precipice from Urbania, I almost expected, at every turning of the road, that a troop of horsemen, with beaked helmets and clawed shoes, would emerge, with armor glittering and pennons waving in the sunset. And then, not two hours ago, entering the town at dusk, passing along the deserted streets, with only a smoky light here and there under a shrine or in front of a fruit-stall, or a fire reddening the blackness of a smithy; passing beneath the battlements and turrets of the palace…. Ah, that was Italy, it was the Past!

So true, unfortunately! But let me forget it, at least for a little while; just as I did this afternoon when the white oxen pulled my cart slowly winding through endless valleys and creeping up endless hills, with the sound of a distant rushing stream far below, surrounded only by bare gray and reddish peaks, up to this town of Urbania, ignored by the world, perched with its towers and battlements on the high Apennine ridge. Sigillo, Penna, Fossombrone, Mercatello, Montemurlo—each village name the driver pointed out reminded me of some battle or a great act of betrayal from long ago. As the massive mountains blocked out the setting sun, and the valleys filled with bluish shadows and mist, only a band of threatening red smoke lingered behind the towers and domes of the city atop its mountain, while the sound of church bells drifted over the cliff from Urbania. I almost expected, at every bend in the road, a group of horsemen with beaked helmets and clawed shoes to appear, their armor shining and banners waving in the sunset. And then, not more than two hours ago, entering the town at dusk, walking through the empty streets lit only by a smoky light here and there under a shrine or in front of a fruit stall, or a fire glowing against the darkness of a smithy; passing under the battlements and towers of the palace... Ah, that was Italy, it was the Past!

August 21st.—

August 21st.

And this is the Present! Four letters of introduction to deliver, and an hour's polite conversation to endure with the Vice-Prefect, the Syndic, the Director of the Archives, and the good man to whom my friend Max had sent me for lodgings….

And this is the Present! Four letters of introduction to hand over, and an hour of polite conversation to get through with the Vice-Prefect, the Syndic, the Director of the Archives, and the nice guy that my friend Max had referred me to for a place to stay….

August 22nd-27th.—

August 22-27.—

Spent the greater part of the day in the Archives, and the greater part of my time there in being bored to extinction by the Director thereof, who today spouted Aeneas Sylvius' Commentaries for three-quarters of an hour without taking breath. From this sort of martyrdom (what are the sensations of a former racehorse being driven in a cab? If you can conceive them, they are those of a Pole turned Prussian professor) I take refuge in long rambles through the town. This town is a handful of tall black houses huddled on to the top of an Alp, long narrow lanes trickling down its sides, like the slides we made on hillocks in our boyhood, and in the middle the superb red brick structure, turreted and battlemented, of Duke Ottobuono's palace, from whose windows you look down upon a sea, a kind of whirlpool, of melancholy grey mountains. Then there are the people, dark, bushy-bearded men, riding about like brigands, wrapped in green-lined cloaks upon their shaggy pack-mules; or loitering about, great, brawny, low-headed youngsters, like the parti-colored bravos in Signorelli's frescoes; the beautiful boys, like so many young Raphaels, with eyes like the eyes of bullocks, and the huge women, Madonnas or St. Elizabeths, as the case may be, with their clogs firmly poised on their toes and their brass pitchers on their heads, as they go up and down the steep black alleys. I do not talk much to these people; I fear my illusions being dispelled. At the corner of a street, opposite Francesco di Giorgio's beautiful little portico, is a great blue and red advertisement, representing an angel descending to crown Elias Howe, on account of his sewing-machines; and the clerks of the Vice-Prefecture, who dine at the place where I get my dinner, yell politics, Minghetti, Cairoli, Tunis, ironclads, &c., at each other, and sing snatches of La Fille de Mme. Angot, which I imagine they have been performing here recently.

I spent most of the day at the Archives, and most of my time there was spent being bored to tears by the Director, who went on and on about Aeneas Sylvius' Commentaries for three-quarters of an hour without pausing for a breath. To escape this kind of torture (what must it feel like for a former racehorse to be used as a cab? If you can imagine it, that’s how it feels to be a Pole turned Prussian professor) I find refuge in long walks around the town. This town consists of a cluster of tall black houses perched on top of an Alp, with narrow lanes spilling down its sides like the slides we used to make on hills when we were kids, and in the center is the magnificent red brick building, turreted and fortified, that is Duke Ottobuono's palace, from whose windows you can gaze down at a sea, a kind of swirling mass, of gloomy gray mountains. Then there are the people: dark, bushy-bearded men riding around like bandits, wrapped in green-lined cloaks on their shaggy pack mules; or lounging about, big, muscular, low-headed young men, resembling the multi-colored bravos in Signorelli's frescoes; there are beautiful boys, looking like a flock of young Raphaels, with eyes like those of cattle, and the large women, Madonnas or St. Elizabeths, depending on the situation, with their clogs balanced on their toes and their brass pitchers on their heads as they

No; talking to the natives is evidently a dangerous experiment. Except indeed, perhaps, to my good landlord, Signor Notaro Porri, who is just as learned, and takes considerably less snuff (or rather brushes it off his coat more often) than the Director of the Archives. I forgot to jot down (and I feel I must jot down, in the vain belief that some day these scraps will help, like a withered twig of olive or a three-wicked Tuscan lamp on my table, to bring to my mind, in that hateful Babylon of Berlin, these happy Italian days)—I forgot to record that I am lodging in the house of a dealer in antiquities. My window looks up the principal street to where the little column with Mercury on the top rises in the midst of the awnings and porticoes of the market-place. Bending over the chipped ewers and tubs full of sweet basil, clove pinks, and marigolds, I can just see a corner of the palace turret, and the vague ultramarine of the hills beyond. The house, whose back goes sharp down into the ravine, is a queer up-and-down black place, whitewashed rooms, hung with the Raphaels and Francias and Peruginos, whom mine host regularly carries to the chief inn whenever a stranger is expected; and surrounded by old carved chairs, sofas of the Empire, embossed and gilded wedding-chests, and the cupboards which contain bits of old damask and embroidered altar-cloths scenting the place with the smell of old incense and mustiness; all of which are presided over by Signor Porri's three maiden sisters—Sora Serafina, Sora Lodovica, and Sora Adalgisa—the three Fates in person, even to the distaffs and their black cats.

No; talking to the locals is clearly a risky move. Except, of course, maybe for my good host, Signor Notaro Porri, who is just as knowledgeable and takes way less snuff (or rather brushes it off his coat more often) than the Director of the Archives. I forgot to note down (and I feel I should note this, in the futile hope that one day these little tidbits will serve, like a dried olive twig or a three-wicked Tuscan lamp on my table, to remind me, in that dreadful Babylon of Berlin, of these joyful Italian days)—I forgot to mention that I’m staying at the home of an antiquities dealer. My window overlooks the main street where the little column topped with Mercury stands amidst the awnings and porticoes of the marketplace. Leaning over the chipped pitchers and tubs full of sweet basil, clove pinks, and marigolds, I can just glimpse a corner of the palace turret and the hazy ultramarine of the hills beyond. The house, which drops sharply into the ravine at the back, is a strange, uneven black place, with whitewashed rooms decorated with Raphaels, Francias, and Peruginos that my host regularly takes to the main inn whenever a stranger is expected; surrounded by old carved chairs, Empire sofas, embossed and gilded wedding chests, and cupboards filled with bits of old damask and embroidered altar cloths that fill the space with the scent of ancient incense and mustiness; all of which are overseen by Signor Porri's three maiden sisters—Sora Serafina, Sora Lodovica, and Sora Adalgisa—the three Fates themselves, complete with distaffs and their black cats.

Sor Asdrubale, as they call my landlord, is also a notary. He regrets the Pontifical Government, having had a cousin who was a Cardinal's train-bearer, and believes that if only you lay a table for two, light four candles made of dead men's fat, and perform certain rites about which he is not very precise, you can, on Christmas Eve and similar nights, summon up San Pasquale Baylon, who will write you the winning numbers of the lottery upon the smoked back of a plate, if you have previously slapped him on both cheeks and repeated three Ave Marias. The difficulty consists in obtaining the dead men's fat for the candles, and also in slapping the saint before he has time to vanish.

Sor Asdrubale, as they call my landlord, is also a notary. He misses the Papal Government, having had a cousin who was a Cardinal's page, and believes that if you set a table for two, light four candles made from human fat, and perform certain rites he isn’t very clear about, you can, on Christmas Eve and similar nights, summon San Pasquale Baylon, who will write you the winning lottery numbers on the back of a plate, if you’ve first slapped him on both cheeks and said three Ave Marias. The tricky part is getting the human fat for the candles, and also managing to slap the saint before he has a chance to disappear.

"If it were not for that," says Sor Asdrubale, "the Government would have had to suppress the lottery ages ago—eh!"

"If it weren't for that," says Sor Asdrubale, "the Government would have had to shut down the lottery a long time ago—right!"

Sept. 9th.—This history of Urbania is not without its romance, although that romance (as usual) has been overlooked by our Dryasdusts. Even before coming here I felt attracted by the strange figure of a woman, which appeared from out of the dry pages of Gualterio's and Padre de Sanctis' histories of this place. This woman is Medea, daughter of Galeazzo IV. Malatesta, Lord of Carpi, wife first of Pierluigi Orsini, Duke of Stimigliano, and subsequently of Guidalfonso II., Duke of Urbania, predecessor of the great Duke Robert II.

Sept. 9th.—The history of Urbania has its share of romance, even if that romance (as usual) has been overlooked by our boring historians. Before I even arrived here, I was intrigued by the mysterious figure of a woman that emerged from the dry accounts of Gualterio and Padre de Sanctis' histories of this place. This woman is Medea, daughter of Galeazzo IV. Malatesta, Lord of Carpi, who was first married to Pierluigi Orsini, Duke of Stimigliano, and later to Guidalfonso II., Duke of Urbania, who was the predecessor of the great Duke Robert II.

This woman's history and character remind one of that of Bianca Cappello, and at the same time of Lucrezia Borgia. Born in 1556, she was affianced at the age of twelve to a cousin, a Malatesta of the Rimini family. This family having greatly gone down in the world, her engagement was broken, and she was betrothed a year later to a member of the Pico family, and married to him by proxy at the age of fourteen. But this match not satisfying her own or her father's ambition, the marriage by proxy was, upon some pretext, declared null, and the suit encouraged of the Duke of Stimigliano, a great Umbrian feudatory of the Orsini family. But the bridegroom, Giovanfrancesco Pico, refused to submit, pleaded his case before the Pope, and tried to carry off by force his bride, with whom he was madly in love, as the lady was most lovely and of most cheerful and amiable manner, says an old anonymous chronicle. Pico waylaid her litter as she was going to a villa of her father's, and carried her to his castle near Mirandola, where he respectfully pressed his suit; insisting that he had a right to consider her as his wife. But the lady escaped by letting herself into the moat by a rope of sheets, and Giovanfrancesco Pico was discovered stabbed in the chest, by the hand of Madonna Medea da Carpi. He was a handsome youth only eighteen years old.

This woman's background and personality are reminiscent of Bianca Cappello and Lucrezia Borgia. Born in 1556, she was engaged at twelve to a cousin from the Malatesta family in Rimini. However, since this family had fallen on hard times, her engagement was broken, and a year later, she was betrothed to a member of the Pico family and married by proxy at fourteen. Yet, this union did not fulfill her or her father's aspirations, so the proxy marriage was declared invalid under some pretext, and a suit was initiated with the Duke of Stimigliano, a prominent Umbrian feudal lord from the Orsini family. Giovanfrancesco Pico, the groom, refused to accept this and took his case to the Pope, even attempting to abduct his bride, who he loved passionately, as she was incredibly beautiful and had a cheerful and charming demeanor, according to an old anonymous chronicle. Pico ambushed her litter while she was on her way to her father's villa and took her to his castle near Mirandola, where he earnestly pursued her, asserting that he had a right to consider her his wife. But the lady managed to escape by lowering herself into the moat using a rope made of sheets, and Giovanfrancesco Pico was later found stabbed in the chest, killed by Madonna Medea da Carpi. He was a handsome young man, only eighteen years old.

The Pico having been settled, and the marriage with him declared null by the Pope, Medea da Carpi was solemnly married to the Duke of Stimigliano, and went to live upon his domains near Rome.

The Pico situation was resolved, and the Pope declared the marriage with him invalid. Medea da Carpi was officially married to the Duke of Stimigliano and moved to live on his properties near Rome.

Two years later, Pierluigi Orsini was stabbed by one of his grooms at his castle of Stimigliano, near Orvieto; and suspicion fell upon his widow, more especially as, immediately after the event, she caused the murderer to be cut down by two servants in her own chamber; but not before he had declared that she had induced him to assassinate his master by a promise of her love. Things became so hot for Medea da Carpi that she fled to Urbania and threw herself at the feet of Duke Guidalfonso II., declaring that she had caused the groom to be killed merely to avenge her good fame, which he had slandered, and that she was absolutely guiltless of the death of her husband. The marvelous beauty of the widowed Duchess of Stimigliano, who was only nineteen, entirely turned the head of the Duke of Urbania. He affected implicit belief in her innocence, refused to give her up to the Orsinis, kinsmen of her late husband, and assigned to her magnificent apartments in the left wing of the palace, among which the room containing the famous fireplace ornamented with marble Cupids on a blue ground. Guidalfonso fell madly in love with his beautiful guest. Hitherto timid and domestic in character, he began publicly to neglect his wife, Maddalena Varano of Camerino, with whom, although childless, he had hitherto lived on excellent terms; he not only treated with contempt the admonitions of his advisers and of his suzerain the Pope, but went so far as to take measures to repudiate his wife, on the score of quite imaginary ill-conduct. The Duchess Maddalena, unable to bear this treatment, fled to the convent of the barefooted sisters at Pesaro, where she pined away, while Medea da Carpi reigned in her place at Urbania, embroiling Duke Guidalfonso in quarrels both with the powerful Orsinis, who continued to accuse her of Stimigliano's murder, and with the Varanos, kinsmen of the injured Duchess Maddalena; until at length, in the year 1576, the Duke of Urbania, having become suddenly, and not without suspicious circumstances, a widower, publicly married Medea da Carpi two days after the decease of his unhappy wife. No child was born of this marriage; but such was the infatuation of Duke Guidalfonso, that the new Duchess induced him to settle the inheritance of the Duchy (having, with great difficulty, obtained the consent of the Pope) on the boy Bartolommeo, her son by Stimigliano, but whom the Orsinis refused to acknowledge as such, declaring him to be the child of that Giovanfrancesco Pico to whom Medea had been married by proxy, and whom, in defense, as she had said, of her honor, she had assassinated; and this investiture of the Duchy of Urbania on to a stranger and a bastard was at the expense of the obvious rights of the Cardinal Robert, Guidalfonso's younger brother.

Two years later, Pierluigi Orsini was stabbed by one of his grooms at his castle in Stimigliano, near Orvieto. Suspicion fell on his widow, especially since, right after the incident, she had two servants kill the murderer in her room. But not before he revealed that she had persuaded him to assassinate his master by promising him her love. Things got so complicated for Medea da Carpi that she ran away to Urbania and pleaded with Duke Guidalfonso II, claiming she had caused the groom to be killed just to protect her reputation, which he had tarnished, and that she was completely innocent of her husband’s death. The stunning beauty of the widowed Duchess of Stimigliano, who was only nineteen, completely captivated the Duke of Urbania. He pretended to fully believe in her innocence, refused to hand her over to the Orsinis, relatives of her late husband, and gave her luxurious rooms in the left wing of the palace, including one with the famous fireplace decorated with marble Cupids on a blue background. Guidalfonso fell madly in love with his beautiful guest. Previously shy and reserved, he began to neglect his wife, Maddalena Varano of Camerino, publicly, even though they had lived harmoniously so far, despite being childless. He disregarded the warnings of his advisors and even the Pope, going so far as to attempt to divorce his wife over completely unfounded claims of misconduct. Unable to endure such mistreatment, Duchess Maddalena fled to the convent of the barefooted sisters in Pesaro, where she withered away, while Medea da Carpi took her place in Urbania, embroiling Duke Guidalfonso in disputes with both the powerful Orsinis, who kept accusing her of Stimigliano’s murder, and the Varanos, relatives of the wronged Duchess Maddalena. Eventually, in 1576, the Duke of Urbania became a widower under suspicious circumstances and publicly married Medea da Carpi just two days after the death of his unfortunate wife. No children came from this marriage; however, Duke Guidalfonso was so besotted that the new Duchess convinced him to settle the Duchy’s inheritance (after much effort to gain the Pope's approval) on her son Bartolommeo, whom she had with Stimigliano, but whom the Orsinis denied acknowledging, claiming he was the child of Giovanfrancesco Pico, the man Medea had been married to by proxy and had killed in defense of her honor. This transfer of the Duchy of Urbania to a stranger and bastard undermined the clear rights of Cardinal Robert, Guidalfonso’s younger brother.

In May 1579 Duke Guidalfonso died suddenly and mysteriously, Medea having forbidden all access to his chamber, lest, on his deathbed, he might repent and reinstate his brother in his rights. The Duchess immediately caused her son, Bartolommeo Orsini, to be proclaimed Duke of Urbania, and herself regent; and, with the help of two or three unscrupulous young men, particularly a certain Captain Oliverotto da Narni, who was rumored to be her lover, seized the reins of government with extraordinary and terrible vigor, marching an army against the Varanos and Orsinis, who were defeated at Sigillo, and ruthlessly exterminating every person who dared question the lawfulness of the succession; while, all the time, Cardinal Robert, who had flung aside his priest's garb and vows, went about in Rome, Tuscany, Venice—nay, even to the Emperor and the King of Spain, imploring help against the usurper. In a few months he had turned the tide of sympathy against the Duchess-Regent; the Pope solemnly declared the investiture of Bartolommeo Orsini worthless, and published the accession of Robert II., Duke of Urbania and Count of Montemurlo; the Grand Duke of Tuscany and the Venetians secretly promised assistance, but only if Robert were able to assert his rights by main force. Little by little, one town after the other of the Duchy went over to Robert, and Medea da Carpi found herself surrounded in the mountain citadel of Urbania like a scorpion surrounded by flames. (This simile is not mine, but belongs to Raffaello Gualterio, historiographer to Robert II.) But, unlike the scorpion, Medea refused to commit suicide. It is perfectly marvelous how, without money or allies, she could so long keep her enemies at bay; and Gualterio attributes this to those fatal fascinations which had brought Pico and Stimigliano to their deaths, which had turned the once honest Guidalfonso into a villain, and which were such that, of all her lovers, not one but preferred dying for her, even after he had been treated with ingratitude and ousted by a rival; a faculty which Messer Raffaello Gualterio clearly attributed to hellish connivance.

In May 1579, Duke Guidalfonso died suddenly and mysteriously, with Medea having forbidden anyone from entering his chamber, fearing he might change his mind on his deathbed and restore his brother to his rights. The Duchess quickly had her son, Bartolommeo Orsini, declared Duke of Urbania, and took on the role of regent. With a couple of unscrupulous young men, especially a certain Captain Oliverotto da Narni, rumored to be her lover, she seized control of the government with extraordinary and ruthless determination. She led an army against the Varanos and Orsinis, who were defeated at Sigillo, and mercilessly eliminated anyone who questioned the legitimacy of the succession. Meanwhile, Cardinal Robert, having discarded his priestly garb and vows, traveled around Rome, Tuscany, and Venice—even to the Emperor and the King of Spain—pleading for support against the usurper. In a matter of months, he shifted public opinion against the Duchess-Regent; the Pope officially declared Bartolommeo Orsini's investiture worthless and proclaimed Robert II., Duke of Urbania and Count of Montemurlo. The Grand Duke of Tuscany and the Venetians secretly promised their support, but only if Robert could reclaim his rights by force. Gradually, town after town in the Duchy aligned with Robert, and Medea da Carpi found herself trapped in the mountain stronghold of Urbania, like a scorpion surrounded by flames. (This simile isn’t my own, but belongs to Raffaello Gualterio, the historian for Robert II.) Yet, unlike the scorpion, Medea refused to take her own life. It’s truly remarkable how, without money or allies, she managed to fend off her enemies for so long; Gualterio attributes this to the fatal charms that had caused Pico and Stimigliano to meet their ends, which had twisted the once upstanding Guidalfonso into a villain, and made it so that all her lovers would rather die for her, despite being treated with ingratitude and pushed aside by a rival—an ability that Messer Raffaello Gualterio clearly linked to diabolical collusion.

At last the ex-Cardinal Robert succeeded, and triumphantly entered Urbania in November 1579. His accession was marked by moderation and clemency. Not a man was put to death, save Oliverotto da Narni, who threw himself on the new Duke, tried to stab him as he alighted at the palace, and who was cut down by the Duke's men, crying, "Orsini, Orsini! Medea, Medea! Long live Duke Bartolommeo!" with his dying breath, although it is said that the Duchess had treated him with ignominy. The little Bartolommeo was sent to Rome to the Orsinis; the Duchess, respectfully confined in the left wing of the palace.

At last, the former Cardinal Robert succeeded and entered Urbania triumphantly in November 1579. His rise to power was marked by moderation and mercy. No one was executed, except for Oliverotto da Narni, who attacked the new Duke as he got out of his carriage. Oliverotto was killed by the Duke's men while shouting, "Orsini, Orsini! Medea, Medea! Long live Duke Bartolommeo!" with his last breath, although it's said that the Duchess had treated him poorly. The young Bartolommeo was sent to Rome to the Orsinis, while the Duchess was respectfully confined to the left wing of the palace.

It is said that she haughtily requested to see the new Duke, but that he shook his head, and, in his priest's fashion, quoted a verse about Ulysses and the Sirens; and it is remarkable that he persistently refused to see her, abruptly leaving his chamber one day that she had entered it by stealth. After a few months a conspiracy was discovered to murder Duke Robert, which had obviously been set on foot by Medea. But the young man, one Marcantonio Frangipani of Rome, denied, even under the severest torture, any complicity of hers; so that Duke Robert, who wished to do nothing violent, merely transferred the Duchess from his villa at Sant' Elmo to the convent of the Clarisse in town, where she was guarded and watched in the closest manner. It seemed impossible that Medea should intrigue any further, for she certainly saw and could be seen by no one. Yet she contrived to send a letter and her portrait to one Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi, a youth, only nineteen years old, of noble Romagnole family, and who was betrothed to one of the most beautiful girls of Urbania. He immediately broke off his engagement, and, shortly afterwards, attempted to shoot Duke Robert with a holster-pistol as he knelt at mass on the festival of Easter Day. This time Duke Robert was determined to obtain proofs against Medea. Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi was kept some days without food, then submitted to the most violent tortures, and finally condemned. When he was going to be flayed with red-hot pincers and quartered by horses, he was told that he might obtain the grace of immediate death by confessing the complicity of the Duchess; and the confessor and nuns of the convent, which stood in the place of execution outside Porta San Romano, pressed Medea to save the wretch, whose screams reached her, by confessing her own guilt. Medea asked permission to go to a balcony, where she could see Prinzivalle and be seen by him. She looked on coldly, then threw down her embroidered kerchief to the poor mangled creature. He asked the executioner to wipe his mouth with it, kissed it, and cried out that Medea was innocent. Then, after several hours of torments, he died. This was too much for the patience even of Duke Robert. Seeing that as long as Medea lived his life would be in perpetual danger, but unwilling to cause a scandal (somewhat of the priest-nature remaining), he had Medea strangled in the convent, and, what is remarkable, insisted that only women—two infanticides to whom he remitted their sentence—should be employed for the deed.

It’s said that she arrogantly asked to meet the new Duke, but he just shook his head and, in a priestly manner, quoted a line about Ulysses and the Sirens. Interestingly, he continuously refused to see her, even abruptly leaving his room one day when she sneaked in. After a few months, a plot to murder Duke Robert was uncovered, clearly orchestrated by Medea. However, the young man, Marcantonio Frangipani from Rome, denied any involvement from her, even under intense torture. So, Duke Robert, who wanted to avoid any violence, simply moved the Duchess from his villa at Sant' Elmo to the convent of the Clarisse in town, where she was closely guarded and monitored. It seemed impossible for Medea to scheme any further since she couldn’t see anyone or be seen. Still, she managed to send a letter and her portrait to Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi, a nineteen-year-old from a noble Romagnole family, who was engaged to one of the most beautiful girls in Urbania. He immediately broke off his engagement and soon after attempted to shoot Duke Robert with a pistol while he prayed at Easter mass. This time, Duke Robert was determined to gather evidence against Medea. Prinzivalle was kept without food for several days, then subjected to brutal torture, and ultimately condemned. As he was about to be flayed with red-hot pincers and quartered by horses, he was told he could die immediately if he confessed Medea’s involvement. The confessor and the nuns of the convent, located near the execution site outside Porta San Romano, urged Medea to save the poor man, whose screams reached her, by admitting her own guilt. Medea asked for permission to go to a balcony where she could see Prinzivalle and be seen by him. She watched coldly, then tossed down her embroidered handkerchief to the tortured man. He asked the executioner to wipe his mouth with it, kissed it, and shouted that Medea was innocent. After several hours of suffering, he died. This was too much for Duke Robert’s patience. Realizing that as long as Medea lived, his life would always be in danger but not wanting to create a scandal (retaining some of his priestly nature), he had Medea strangled in the convent, and astonishingly, insisted that only women—two convicted infanticides whom he pardoned—carried out the act.

"This clement prince," writes Don Arcangelo Zappi in his life of him, published in 1725, "can be blamed only for one act of cruelty, the more odious as he had himself, until released from his vows by the Pope, been in holy orders. It is said that when he caused the death of the infamous Medea da Carpi, his fear lest her extraordinary charms should seduce any man was such, that he not only employed women as executioners, but refused to permit her a priest or monk, thus forcing her to die unshriven, and refusing her the benefit of any penitence that may have lurked in her adamantine heart."

"This kind prince," writes Don Arcangelo Zappi in his biography, published in 1725, "can only be blamed for one act of cruelty, which is even worse since he had, until released from his vows by the Pope, been in holy orders. It’s said that when he ordered the death of the infamous Medea da Carpi, his fear that her extraordinary beauty might seduce any man was so intense that he not only used women as executioners but also refused to allow her a priest or monk, thereby forcing her to die without confession, and denying her any chance of repentance that might have existed in her unyielding heart."

Such is the story of Medea da Carpi, Duchess of Stimigliano Orsini, and then wife of Duke Guidalfonso II. of Urbania. She was put to death just two hundred and ninety-seven years ago, December 1582, at the age of barely seven-and twenty, and having, in the course of her short life, brought to a violent end five of her lovers, from Giovanfrancesco Pico to Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi.

Such is the story of Medea da Carpi, Duchess of Stimigliano Orsini, and later wife of Duke Guidalfonso II of Urbania. She was executed just 297 years ago, in December 1582, at the age of only 27, and throughout her short life, she brought about the violent end of five of her lovers, from Giovanfrancesco Pico to Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi.

Sept. 20th.

Sept. 20

A grand illumination of the town in honor of the taking of Rome fifteen years ago. Except Sor Asdrubale, my landlord, who shakes his head at the Piedmontese, as he calls them, the people here are all Italianissimi. The Popes kept them very much down since Urbania lapsed to the Holy See in 1645.

A big celebration in town to commemorate the capture of Rome fifteen years ago. Except for Sor Asdrubale, my landlord, who disapproves of the Piedmontese, as he calls them, everyone here is very Italian. The Popes have kept them quite suppressed since Urbania came under the Holy See in 1645.

Sept. 28th.

Sept. 28.

I have for some time been hunting for portraits of the Duchess Medea. Most of them, I imagine, must have been destroyed, perhaps by Duke Robert II.'s fear lest even after her death this terrible beauty should play him a trick. Three or four I have, however, been able to find—one a miniature in the Archives, said to be that which she sent to poor Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi in order to turn his head; one a marble bust in the palace lumber-room; one in a large composition, possibly by Baroccio, representing Cleopatra at the feet of Augustus. Augustus is the idealized portrait of Robert II., round cropped head, nose a little awry, clipped beard and scar as usual, but in Roman dress. Cleopatra seems to me, for all her Oriental dress, and although she wears a black wig, to be meant for Medea da Carpi; she is kneeling, baring her breast for the victor to strike, but in reality to captivate him, and he turns away with an awkward gesture of loathing. None of these portraits seem very good, save the miniature, but that is an exquisite work, and with it, and the suggestions of the bust, it is easy to reconstruct the beauty of this terrible being. The type is that most admired by the late Renaissance, and, in some measure, immortalized by Jean Goujon and the French. The face is a perfect oval, the forehead somewhat over-round, with minute curls, like a fleece, of bright auburn hair; the nose a trifle over-aquiline, and the cheek-bones a trifle too low; the eyes grey, large, prominent, beneath exquisitely curved brows and lids just a little too tight at the corners; the mouth also, brilliantly red and most delicately designed, is a little too tight, the lips strained a trifle over the teeth. Tight eyelids and tight lips give a strange refinement, and, at the same time, an air of mystery, a somewhat sinister seductiveness; they seem to take, but not to give. The mouth with a kind of childish pout, looks as if it could bite or suck like a leech. The complexion is dazzlingly fair, the perfect transparent rosette lily of a red-haired beauty; the head, with hair elaborately curled and plaited close to it, and adorned with pearls, sits like that of the antique Arethusa on a long, supple, swan-like neck. A curious, at first rather conventional, artificial-looking sort of beauty, voluptuous yet cold, which, the more it is contemplated, the more it troubles and haunts the mind. Round the lady's neck is a gold chain with little gold lozenges at intervals, on which is engraved the posy or pun (the fashion of French devices is common in those days), "Amour Dure—Dure Amour." The same posy is inscribed in the hollow of the bust, and, thanks to it, I have been able to identify the latter as Medea's portrait. I often examine these tragic portraits, wondering what this face, which led so many men to their death, may have been like when it spoke or smiled, what at the moment when Medea da Carpi fascinated her victims into love unto death—"Amour Dure—Dure Amour," as runs her device—love that lasts, cruel love—yes indeed, when one thinks of the fidelity and fate of her lovers.

I have been searching for portraits of Duchess Medea for some time. I imagine that most of them must have been destroyed, possibly out of Duke Robert II’s fear that even after her death, her terrifying beauty could still ensnare him. However, I have managed to find three or four—one is a miniature in the Archives, said to be the one she sent to poor Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi to captivate him; another is a marble bust in the palace’s storage; and there’s one in a large painting, possibly by Baroccio, depicting Cleopatra at the feet of Augustus. Augustus is depicted as Robert II, with a round cropped head, slightly crooked nose, trimmed beard, and the usual scar, but dressed in Roman attire. Cleopatra, despite her Oriental garb and black wig, seems to represent Medea da Carpi; she is kneeling, exposing her breast for the victor to strike, but really to entice him, and he awkwardly turns away in disgust. None of these portraits are particularly good, except for the miniature, which is exquisite, and with that plus the hints from the bust, it’s easy to reconstruct the beauty of this fearsome figure. The type is one most admired during the late Renaissance, somewhat immortalized by Jean Goujon and the French artists. The face is a perfect oval, the forehead somewhat round, featuring tiny curls like a fleece of bright auburn hair; the nose is slightly too aquiline, and the cheekbones a bit lower than ideal; the grey eyes are large and prominent, set beneath beautifully arched brows and eyelids that are just a bit too tight at the corners; the mouth is a striking red and delicately formed, but also a bit too tight, the lips just stretched over the teeth. The tight eyelids and lips impart a strange elegance and, at the same time, an air of mystery, a somewhat sinister allure; they seem to take rather than give. The mouth, with a hint of a childish pout, looks like it could either bite or suck like a leech. The complexion is stunningly fair, resembling the perfect translucent rosette lily of a red-haired beauty; the head, with hair meticulously curled and braided close to it, adorned with pearls, rests like that of the ancient Arethusa on a long, graceful, swan-like neck. It’s a curious beauty, initially conventional and somewhat artificial, voluptuous yet cold, which grows more unsettling and haunting the longer it’s contemplated. Around the lady's neck is a gold chain with little gold diamonds at intervals, engraved with the phrase “Amour Dure—Dure Amour.” The same phrase is inscribed in the hollow of the bust, and thanks to that, I’ve been able to identify it as Medea's portrait. I often study these tragic portraits, wondering what this face, which led so many men to their doom, must have been like when it spoke or smiled, especially during the moments when Medea da Carpi captivated her victims into a love that led to death—“Amour Dure—Dure Amour,” as her motto states—love that endures, cruel love—indeed, when reflecting on the loyalty and fate of her lovers.

Oct. 13th.

Oct. 13.

I have literally not had time to write a line of my diary all these days. My whole mornings have gone in those Archives, my afternoons taking long walks in this lovely autumn weather (the highest hills are just tipped with snow). My evenings go in writing that confounded account of the Palace of Urbania which Government requires, merely to keep me at work at something useless. Of my history I have not yet been able to write a word…. By the way, I must note down a curious circumstance mentioned in an anonymous MS. life of Duke Robert, which I fell upon today. When this prince had the equestrian statue of himself by Antonio Tassi, Gianbologna's pupil, erected in the square of the Corte, he secretly caused to be made, says my anonymous MS., a silver statuette of his familiar genius or angel—"familiaris ejus angelus seu genius, quod a vulgo dicitur idolino"—which statuette or idol, after having been consecrated by the astrologers—"ab astrologis quibusdam ritibus sacrato"—was placed in the cavity of the chest of the effigy by Tassi, in order, says the MS., that his soul might rest until the general Resurrection. This passage is curious, and to me somewhat puzzling; how could the soul of Duke Robert await the general Resurrection, when, as a Catholic, he ought to have believed that it must, as soon as separated from his body, go to Purgatory? Or is there some semi-pagan superstition of the Renaissance (most strange, certainly, in a man who had been a Cardinal) connecting the soul with a guardian genius, who could be compelled, by magic rites ("ab astrologis sacrato," the MS. says of the little idol), to remain fixed to earth, so that the soul should sleep in the body until the Day of Judgment? I confess this story baffles me. I wonder whether such an idol ever existed, or exists nowadays, in the body of Tassi's bronze effigy?

I honestly haven't had time to write a single line in my diary these past few days. I’ve spent my entire mornings in the Archives, my afternoons enjoying long walks in this beautiful autumn weather (the highest hills are just dusted with snow). My evenings are spent writing that annoying report on the Palace of Urbania that the Government insists I do, just to keep me busy with something pointless. I haven’t been able to write a word about my own history yet…. By the way, I need to note a strange detail mentioned in an anonymous manuscript about Duke Robert's life that I came across today. When this prince had the equestrian statue of himself, created by Antonio Tassi, a student of Gianbologna, placed in the square of the Corte, he secretly arranged to have a silver statuette of his protective genius or angel—"familiaris ejus angelus seu genius, quod a vulgo dicitur idolino"—made. This statuette or idol, after being consecrated by astrologers—"ab astrologis quibusdam ritibus sacrato"—was placed inside the chest cavity of the statue by Tassi, so that, according to the manuscript, his soul could rest until the general Resurrection. This passage is intriguing and somewhat perplexing to me; how could Duke Robert's soul wait for the general Resurrection when, as a Catholic, he should have believed that it would automatically go to Purgatory as soon as it was separated from his body? Or is there some semi-pagan superstition from the Renaissance (which seems quite strange, especially for someone who had been a Cardinal) connecting the soul with a guardian genius that could be bound, through magical rites ("ab astrologis sacrato," as the manuscript states about the little idol), to remain on earth, allowing the soul to sleep in the body until the Day of Judgment? I admit this story confuses me. I wonder if such an idol ever existed or if it exists now, within Tassi's bronze statue?

Oct. 20th.—

Oct. 20th.

I have been seeing a good deal of late of the Vice-Prefect's son: an amiable young man with a love-sick face and a languid interest in Urbanian history and archaeology, of which he is profoundly ignorant. This young man, who has lived at Siena and Lucca before his father was promoted here, wears extremely long and tight trousers, which almost preclude his bending his knees, a stick-up collar and an eyeglass, and a pair of fresh kid gloves stuck in the breast of his coat, speaks of Urbania as Ovid might have spoken of Pontus, and complains (as well he may) of the barbarism of the young men, the officials who dine at my inn and howl and sing like madmen, and the nobles who drive gigs, showing almost as much throat as a lady at a ball. This person frequently entertains me with his amori, past, present, and future; he evidently thinks me very odd for having none to entertain him with in return; he points out to me the pretty (or ugly) servant-girls and dressmakers as we walk in the street, sighs deeply or sings in falsetto behind every tolerably young-looking woman, and has finally taken me to the house of the lady of his heart, a great black-mustachioed countess, with a voice like a fish-crier; here, he says, I shall meet all the best company in Urbania and some beautiful women—ah, too beautiful, alas! I find three huge half-furnished rooms, with bare brick floors, petroleum lamps, and horribly bad pictures on bright washball-blue and gamboge walls, and in the midst of it all, every evening, a dozen ladies and gentlemen seated in a circle, vociferating at each other the same news a year old; the younger ladies in bright yellows and greens, fanning themselves while my teeth chatter, and having sweet things whispered behind their fans by officers with hair brushed up like a hedgehog. And these are the women my friend expects me to fall in love with! I vainly wait for tea or supper which does not come, and rush home, determined to leave alone the Urbanian beau monde.

I’ve been spending quite a bit of time lately with the Vice-Prefect’s son: a charming guy with a lovesick expression and a vague interest in Urbanian history and archaeology, although he knows almost nothing about it. This young man, who lived in Siena and Lucca before his father got promoted here, wears extremely long and tight pants that make it hard for him to bend his knees, a high collar, and an eyeglass, with fresh kid gloves tucked into his coat pocket. He talks about Urbania like Ovid might have talked about Pontus, and he complains (rightly so) about the barbarism of the young men, the officials who dine at my inn and yell and sing like crazy, and the nobles who drive carriages, showing nearly as much neck as a woman at a ball. This guy often entertains me with his romantic tales, past, present, and future; he clearly thinks it’s odd that I have none to share with him. As we walk down the street, he points out pretty (or ugly) maidservants and dressmakers, sighs dramatically, or sings in a high pitch every time he sees a relatively young-looking woman. Eventually, he takes me to see the lady of his dreams, a great countess with a big black mustache and a voice like a fishmonger. He says this is where I’ll meet all the best people in Urbania and some beautiful women—oh, too beautiful, unfortunately! I find three huge, half-furnished rooms with bare brick floors, oil lamps, and terrible paintings on bright blue and yellow walls. Each evening, there’s a dozen ladies and gentlemen sitting in a circle, yelling the same news that’s a year old. The younger ladies, dressed in bright yellows and greens, fan themselves while my teeth chatter, and have sweet nothings whispered to them by officers with hairstyles like hedgehogs. And these are the women my friend expects me to fall in love with! I wait in vain for tea or dinner that never comes, and I hurry home, resolved to steer clear of the Urbanian social scene.

It is quite true that I have no amori, although my friend does not believe it. When I came to Italy first, I looked out for romance; I sighed, like Goethe in Rome, for a window to open and a wondrous creature to appear, "welch mich versengend erquickt." Perhaps it is because Goethe was a German, accustomed to German Fraus, and I am, after all, a Pole, accustomed to something very different from Fraus; but anyhow, for all my efforts, in Rome, Florence, and Siena, I never could find a woman to go mad about, either among the ladies, chattering bad French, or among the lower classes, as 'cute and cold as money-lenders; so I steer clear of Italian womankind, its shrill voice and gaudy toilettes. I am wedded to history, to the Past, to women like Lucrezia Borgia, Vittoria Accoramboni, or that Medea da Carpi, for the present; some day I shall perhaps find a grand passion, a woman to play the Don Quixote about, like the Pole that I am; a woman out of whose slipper to drink, and for whose pleasure to die; but not here! Few things strike me so much as the degeneracy of Italian women. What has become of the race of Faustinas, Marozias, Bianca Cappellos? Where discover nowadays (I confess she haunts me) another Medea da Carpi? Were it only possible to meet a woman of that extreme distinction of beauty, of that terribleness of nature, even if only potential, I do believe I could love her, even to the Day of Judgment, like any Oliverotto da Narni, or Frangipani or Prinzivalle.

It's true that I have no amori, even though my friend doesn't believe me. When I first came to Italy, I was on the lookout for romance; I sighed, like Goethe in Rome, hoping for a window to open and some amazing person to appear, "welch mich versengend erquickt." Maybe it's because Goethe was German, used to German Fraus, and I’m a Pole, used to something very different; but regardless, despite all my efforts in Rome, Florence, and Siena, I never found a woman to obsess over, whether among the ladies who spoke broken French or among the lower classes, who were as slick and cold as money-lenders; so I avoid Italian women, with their shrill voices and flashy outfits. I'm married to history, to the Past, to women like Lucrezia Borgia, Vittoria Accoramboni, or that Medea da Carpi, for now; someday I might find a grand passion, a woman worthy of my admiration, like the Pole I am; a woman I'd want to drink from her slipper and be willing to die for; but not here! Few things strike me as much as the decline of Italian women. What happened to the race of Faustinas, Marozias, Bianca Cappellos? Where can you find another Medea da Carpi today (I admit she haunts me)? If only I could meet a woman with such extraordinary beauty and terrifying nature, even if only potentially, I truly believe I could love her, even until the Day of Judgment, just like any Oliverotto da Narni, or Frangipani or Prinzivalle.

Oct. 27th.—

Oct. 27th.

Fine sentiments the above are for a professor, a learned man! I thought the young artists of Rome childish because they played practical jokes and yelled at night in the streets, returning from the Caffè Greco or the cellar in the Via Palombella; but am I not as childish to the full—I, melancholy wretch, whom they called Hamlet and the Knight of the Doleful Countenance?

Fine sentiments those are for a professor, a learned man! I thought the young artists of Rome were childish because they pulled pranks and shouted in the streets at night, coming back from Caffè Greco or the cellar on Via Palombella; but am I not just as childish—me, the sad wretch whom they called Hamlet and the Knight of the Doleful Countenance?

Nov. 5th.—

Nov. 5

I can't free myself from the thought of this Medea da Carpi. In my walks, my mornings in the Archives, my solitary evenings, I catch myself thinking over the woman. Am I turning novelist instead of historian? And still it seems to me that I understand her so well; so much better than my facts warrant. First, we must put aside all pedantic modern ideas of right and wrong. Right and wrong in a century of violence and treachery does not exist, least of all for creatures like Medea. Go preach right and wrong to a tigress, my dear sir! Yet is there in the world anything nobler than the huge creature, steel when she springs, velvet when she treads, as she stretches her supple body, or smooths her beautiful skin, or fastens her strong claws into her victim?

I can't shake the thought of this Medea da Carpi. During my walks, my mornings in the Archives, and my quiet evenings, I find myself thinking about her. Am I becoming more of a novelist than a historian? Yet, I feel like I understand her so well—much better than the facts would suggest. First, we need to set aside all those stuffy modern ideas of right and wrong. In a time full of violence and betrayal, right and wrong don’t really exist, especially for beings like Medea. Go try to preach about right and wrong to a tigress, my dear sir! But is there anything in the world more magnificent than that powerful creature—steel when she leaps, velvet in her movements, as she stretches her graceful body, smooths her beautiful fur, or sinks her strong claws into her prey?

Yes; I can understand Medea. Fancy a woman of superlative beauty, of the highest courage and calmness, a woman of many resources, of genius, brought up by a petty princelet of a father, upon Tacitus and Sallust, and the tales of the great Malatestas, of Caesar Borgia and such-like!—a woman whose one passion is conquest and empire—fancy her, on the eve of being wedded to a man of the power of the Duke of Stimigliano, claimed, carried off by a small fry of a Pico, locked up in his hereditary brigand's castle, and having to receive the young fool's red-hot love as an honor and a necessity! The mere thought of any violence to such a nature is an abominable outrage; and if Pico chooses to embrace such a woman at the risk of meeting a sharp piece of steel in her arms, why, it is a fair bargain. Young hound—or, if you prefer, young hero—to think to treat a woman like this as if she were any village wench! Medea marries her Orsini. A marriage, let it be noted, between an old soldier of fifty and a girl of sixteen. Reflect what that means: it means that this imperious woman is soon treated like a chattel, made roughly to understand that her business is to give the Duke an heir, not advice; that she must never ask "wherefore this or that?" that she must courtesy before the Duke's counselors, his captains, his mistresses; that, at the least suspicion of rebelliousness, she is subject to his foul words and blows; at the least suspicion of infidelity, to be strangled or starved to death, or thrown down an oubliette. Suppose that she knew that her husband has taken it into his head that she has looked too hard at this man or that, that one of his lieutenants or one of his women have whispered that, after all, the boy Bartolommeo might as soon be a Pico as an Orsini. Suppose she knew that she must strike or be struck? Why, she strikes, or gets some one to strike for her. At what price? A promise of love, of love to a groom, the son of a serf! Why, the dog must be mad or drunk to believe such a thing possible; his very belief in anything so monstrous makes him worthy of death. And then he dares to blab! This is much worse than Pico. Medea is bound to defend her honor a second time; if she could stab Pico, she can certainly stab this fellow, or have him stabbed.

Yes; I can relate to Medea. Imagine a woman of incredible beauty, unmatched courage, and composure, a woman full of talent and brilliance, raised by a petty little prince for a father, steeped in the writings of Tacitus and Sallust, and the stories of the great Malatestas, Caesar Borgia, and similar figures!—a woman whose only passion is for conquest and power—picture her, just before marrying a man with the influence of the Duke of Stimigliano, being claimed and abducted by a minor Pico, locked away in his ancestral brigand castle, and having to accept the young fool's intense love as some kind of honor and necessity! Just the idea of anyone inflicting violence on such a person is a terrible outrage; and if Pico chooses to embrace such a woman, knowing he risks feeling a sharp blade in her hands, then that's a fair trade. Young hound—or, if you prefer, young hero—to think he can treat a woman like this as if she were just any village girl! Medea marries her Orsini. It's worth noting that this is a marriage between a fifty-year-old soldier and a sixteen-year-old girl. Consider what that means: it means this dominant woman is soon treated like property, roughly informed that her job is to provide the Duke with an heir, not to offer advice; that she must never ask "why this or that"; that she has to bow to the Duke’s advisors, his captains, his mistresses; that at the slightest hint of rebelliousness, she faces his cruel words and blows; and at the slightest suspicion of infidelity, she risks being strangled, starved, or thrown into a dungeon. Let’s say she realizes her husband has decided she’s been looking too intently at this man or that one, that one of his lieutenants or one of his women has hinted that, after all, the boy Bartolommeo might as easily be a Pico as an Orsini. Let’s say she realizes she has to strike back or be struck. Naturally, she strikes or finds someone to strike for her. At what cost? A promise of love, love to a groom, the son of a serf! Seriously, the guy must be insane or drunk to think something like that is possible; his very belief in anything so ridiculous makes him deserving of death. And then he dares to gossip! This is much worse than Pico. Medea has to defend her honor a second time; if she could stab Pico, she can definitely stab this guy, or have him killed.

Hounded by her husband's kinsmen, she takes refuge at Urbania. The Duke, like every other man, falls wildly in love with Medea, and neglects his wife; let us even go so far as to say, breaks his wife's heart. Is this Medea's fault? Is it her fault that every stone that comes beneath her chariot-wheels is crushed? Certainly not. Do you suppose that a woman like Medea feels the smallest ill-will against a poor, craven Duchess Maddalena? Why, she ignores her very existence. To suppose Medea a cruel woman is as grotesque as to call her an immoral woman. Her fate is, sooner or later, to triumph over her enemies, at all events to make their victory almost a defeat; her magic faculty is to enslave all the men who come across her path; all those who see her, love her, become her slaves; and it is the destiny of all her slaves to perish. Her lovers, with the exception of Duke Guidalfonso, all come to an untimely end; and in this there is nothing unjust. The possession of a woman like Medea is a happiness too great for a mortal man; it would turn his head, make him forget even what he owed her; no man must survive long who conceives himself to have a right over her; it is a kind of sacrilege. And only death, the willingness to pay for such happiness by death, can at all make a man worthy of being her lover; he must be willing to love and suffer and die. This is the meaning of her device—"Amour Dure—Dure Amour." The love of Medea da Carpi cannot fade, but the lover can die; it is a constant and a cruel love.

Hounded by her husband's family, she finds refuge in Urbania. The Duke, like every other man, falls hopelessly in love with Medea and neglects his wife; one might even say he breaks his wife's heart. Is that Medea's fault? Is it her fault that every stone beneath her chariot wheels gets crushed? Absolutely not. Do you think someone like Medea holds any resentment towards the poor, cowardly Duchess Maddalena? She doesn’t even acknowledge her existence. To consider Medea a cruel woman is as absurd as calling her immoral. Her fate is to eventually triumph over her enemies, or at the very least, to make their victory feel like a loss; her magical ability is to captivate all the men who cross her path; everyone who sees her loves her and becomes her slave; and all her slaves are destined to perish. Her lovers, except for Duke Guidalfonso, all meet untimely ends, and there’s nothing unfair about this. Being with a woman like Medea is too great a happiness for any mortal man; it would consume him, causing him to forget what he owes her; no man can survive long who believes he has a claim over her; it's nearly sacrilege. Only death, the willingness to pay for such happiness with death, can make a man worthy of being her lover; he must be ready to love, suffer, and die. This is the meaning of her mantra—"Amour Dure—Dure Amour." The love of Medea da Carpi cannot fade, but the lover can die; it is a constant and cruel love.

Nov. 11th.—

Nov. 11.

I was right, quite right in my idea. I have found—Oh, joy! I treated the Vice-Prefect's son to a dinner of five courses at the Trattoria La Stella d'Italia out of sheer jubilation—I have found in the Archives, unknown, of course, to the Director, a heap of letters—letters of Duke Robert about Medea da Carpi, letters of Medea herself! Yes, Medea's own handwriting—a round, scholarly character, full of abbreviations, with a Greek look about it, as befits a learned princess who could read Plato as well as Petrarch. The letters are of little importance, mere drafts of business letters for her secretary to copy, during the time that she governed the poor weak Guidalfonso. But they are her letters, and I can imagine almost that there hangs about these moldering pieces of paper a scent as of a woman's hair.

I was right, absolutely right in my thought. I have found—Oh, joy! I treated the Vice-Prefect's son to a five-course dinner at the Trattoria La Stella d'Italia out of sheer happiness—I have discovered in the Archives, unknown, of course, to the Director, a collection of letters—letters from Duke Robert about Medea da Carpi, letters from Medea herself! Yes, Medea's own handwriting—a rounded, scholarly style, full of abbreviations, with a Greek flair, as suits a learned princess who could read Plato just as easily as Petrarch. The letters are not very significant, just drafts of business letters for her secretary to copy, from the time when she governed the poor, weak Guidalfonso. But they are her letters, and I can almost imagine that these decaying pieces of paper carry a scent like that of a woman's hair.

The few letters of Duke Robert show him in a new light. A cunning, cold, but craven priest. He trembles at the bare thought of Medea—"la pessima Medea"—worse than her namesake of Colchis, as he calls her. His long clemency is a result of mere fear of laying violent hands upon her. He fears her as something almost supernatural; he would have enjoyed having had her burnt as a witch. After letter on letter, telling his crony, Cardinal Sanseverino, at Rome his various precautions during her lifetime—how he wears a jacket of mail under his coat; how he drinks only milk from a cow which he has milked in his presence; how he tries his dog with morsels of his food, lest it be poisoned; how he suspects the wax-candles because of their peculiar smell; how he fears riding out lest some one should frighten his horse and cause him to break his neck—after all this, and when Medea has been in her grave two years, he tells his correspondent of his fear of meeting the soul of Medea after his own death, and chuckles over the ingenious device (concocted by his astrologer and a certain Fra Gaudenzio, a Capuchin) by which he shall secure the absolute peace of his soul until that of the wicked Medea be finally "chained up in hell among the lakes of boiling pitch and the ice of Caina described by the immortal bard"—old pedant! Here, then, is the explanation of that silver image—quod vulgo dicitur idolino—which he caused to be soldered into his effigy by Tassi. As long as the image of his soul was attached to the image of his body, he should sleep awaiting the Day of Judgment, fully convinced that Medea's soul will then be properly tarred and feathered, while his—honest man!—will fly straight to Paradise. And to think that, two weeks ago, I believed this man to be a hero! Aha! my good Duke Robert, you shall be shown up in my history; and no amount of silver idolinos shall save you from being heartily laughed at!

The few letters from Duke Robert reveal a different side of him. He comes off as clever, cold, and cowardly—a priest who is terrified just by the thought of Medea—"la pessima Medea"—whom he claims is worse than her namesake from Colchis. His prolonged mercy is simply due to his fear of hurting her. He sees her as almost supernatural; he would have relished the idea of having her burned as a witch. After writing numerous letters to his buddy, Cardinal Sanseverino, in Rome, sharing his various precautions during her life—like how he wears a mail jacket under his coat, drinks only milk from a cow he’s seen milked, tests his dog with bits of his food to avoid poisoning, is suspicious of wax candles because of their strange smell, and dreads riding out in case someone spooks his horse and causes him to fall—he goes on to talk about his fear of encountering Medea’s spirit after his death, even laughing about a clever plan (created by his astrologer and a certain Fra Gaudenzio, a Capuchin) to secure peace for his soul until Medea's is “chained up in hell among the lakes of boiling pitch and the ice of Caina, as described by the immortal bard”—what a silly old man! This explains the silver image—quod vulgo dicitur idolino—that he had soldered into his likeness by Tassi. As long as the image of his soul is connected to his body’s image, he expects to sleep until the Day of Judgment, fully believing that Medea's soul will be properly punished while his—good man that he is!—will soar straight to Paradise. And to think that just two weeks ago I saw this man as a hero! Aha! My dear Duke Robert, I will expose you in my history, and no number of silver idolinos will save you from being laughed at!

Nov. 15th.—

Nov. 15.

Strange! That idiot of a Prefect's son, who has heard me talk a hundred times of Medea da Carpi, suddenly recollects that, when he was a child at Urbania, his nurse used to threaten him with a visit from Madonna Medea, who rode in the sky on a black he-goat. My Duchess Medea turned into a bogey for naughty little boys!

Strange! That idiot Prefect's son, who has heard me talk a hundred times about Medea da Carpi, suddenly remembers that when he was a child in Urbania, his nurse used to scare him with stories of Madonna Medea, who rode through the sky on a black he-goat. My Duchess Medea turned into a boogeyman for naughty little boys!

Nov. 20th.—

Nov. 20th.

I have been going about with a Bavarian Professor of mediaeval history, showing him all over the country. Among other places we went to Rocca Sant'Elmo, to see the former villa of the Dukes of Urbania, the villa where Medea was confined between the accession of Duke Robert and the conspiracy of Marcantonio Frangipani, which caused her removal to the nunnery immediately outside the town. A long ride up the desolate Apennine valleys, bleak beyond words just now with their thin fringe of oak scrub turned russet, thin patches of grass seared by the frost, the last few yellow leaves of the poplars by the torrents shaking and fluttering about in the chill Tramontana; the mountaintops are wrapped in thick grey cloud; tomorrow, if the wind continues, we shall see them round masses of snow against the cold blue sky. Sant' Elmo is a wretched hamlet high on the Apennine ridge, where the Italian vegetation is already replaced by that of the North. You ride for miles through leafless chestnut woods, the scent of the soaking brown leaves filling the air, the roar of the torrent, turbid with autumn rains, rising from the precipice below; then suddenly the leafless chestnut woods are replaced, as at Vallombrosa, by a belt of black, dense fir plantations. Emerging from these, you come to an open space, frozen blasted meadows, the rocks of snow clad peak, the newly fallen snow, close above you; and in the midst, on a knoll, with a gnarled larch on either side, the ducal villa of Sant' Elmo, a big black stone box with a stone escutcheon, grated windows, and a double flight of steps in front. It is now let out to the proprietor of the neighboring woods, who uses it for the storage of chestnuts, faggots, and charcoal from the neighboring ovens. We tied our horses to the iron rings and entered: an old woman, with disheveled hair, was alone in the house. The villa is a mere hunting-lodge, built by Ottobuono IV., the father of Dukes Guidalfonso and Robert, about 1530. Some of the rooms have at one time been frescoed and paneled with oak carvings, but all this has disappeared. Only, in one of the big rooms, there remains a large marble fireplace, similar to those in the palace at Urbania, beautifully carved with Cupids on a blue ground; a charming naked boy sustains a jar on either side, one containing clove pinks, the other roses. The room was filled with stacks of faggots.

I’ve been traveling with a Bavarian professor of medieval history, showing him around the country. Among other places, we went to Rocca Sant'Elmo to visit the former villa of the Dukes of Urbania, the villa where Medea was held between Duke Robert's rise to power and the conspiracy of Marcantonio Frangipani, which led to her being moved to the nunnery just outside the town. It was a long ride through the desolate Apennine valleys, which are bleak and bare right now, with just a thin strip of russet oak scrub, patches of frost-bitten grass, and the last few yellow leaves of the poplars fluttering in the chill Tramontana wind; the mountaintops were shrouded in thick gray clouds; if the wind keeps up, we’ll see them as round masses of snow against the cold blue sky tomorrow. Sant'Elmo is a miserable little village high on the Apennine ridge, where the Italian vegetation is already giving way to northern plants. You ride for miles through leafless chestnut woods, with the scent of damp brown leaves filling the air and the roar of a torrent, muddy from the autumn rains, echoing from the cliff below; then suddenly, the bare chestnut woods are replaced, like at Vallombrosa, by a dense belt of dark fir trees. After emerging from these, you reach an open area with frozen, blasted meadows, the rocks of a snow-capped peak looming above you; and in the center, on a small hill, flanked by gnarled larches, stands the ducal villa of Sant'Elmo, a large black stone box featuring a stone coat of arms, barred windows, and a double staircase at the front. It’s currently rented out to the owner of the nearby woods, who uses it for storing chestnuts, firewood, and charcoal from the local ovens. We tied our horses to the iron rings and went inside: an old woman with messy hair was the only one there. The villa is just a hunting lodge, built by Ottobuono IV, the father of Dukes Guidalfonso and Robert, around 1530. Some of the rooms were once frescoed and panelled with oak carvings, but all that is gone now. However, in one large room, there’s still a massive marble fireplace, like those in the palace at Urbania, beautifully carved with Cupids on a blue background; a charming naked boy holds a jar on either side, one with clove pinks and the other with roses. The room was filled with stacks of firewood.

We returned home late, my companion in excessively bad humor at the fruitlessness of the expedition. We were caught in the skirt of a snowstorm as we got into the chestnut woods. The sight of the snow falling gently, of the earth and bushes whitened all round, made me feel back at Posen, once more a child. I sang and shouted, to my companion's horror. This will be a bad point against me if reported at Berlin. A historian of twenty-four who shouts and sings, and that when another historian is cursing at the snow and the bad roads! All night I lay awake watching the embers of my wood fire, and thinking of Medea da Carpi mewed up, in winter, in that solitude of Sant' Elmo, the firs groaning, the torrent roaring, the snow falling all round; miles and miles away from human creatures. I fancied I saw it all, and that I, somehow, was Marcantonio Frangipani come to liberate her—or was it Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi? I suppose it was because of the long ride, the unaccustomed pricking feeling of the snow in the air; or perhaps the punch which my professor insisted on drinking after dinner.

We came home late, my friend in a really bad mood about how pointless the trip was. We got caught in a light snowstorm as we entered the chestnut woods. The sight of the snow gently falling and the earth and bushes covered in white took me back to Posen, making me feel like a child again. I sang and shouted, much to my friend’s horror. This will be a strike against me if it's mentioned in Berlin. A twenty-four-year-old historian singing and shouting while another historian curses the snow and the terrible roads! I lay awake all night watching the embers of my fire, thinking of Medea da Carpi isolated in winter in that solitude of Sant' Elmo, the fir trees creaking, the torrent roaring, the snow falling all around—miles away from anyone else. I imagined I could see it all, and somehow, I was Marcantonio Frangipani come to rescue her—or was it Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi? I guess it was because of the long ride, the unfamiliar prick of the snow in the air; or maybe it was the punch my professor insisted we drink after dinner.

Nov. 23rd.—

Nov. 23.

Thank goodness, that Bavarian professor has finally departed! Those days he spent here drove me nearly crazy. Talking over my work, I told him one day my views on Medea da Carpi; whereupon he condescended to answer that those were the usual tales due to the mythopoeic (old idiot!) tendency of the Renaissance; that research would disprove the greater part of them, as it had disproved the stories current about the Borgias, &c.; that, moreover, such a woman as I made out was psychologically and physiologically impossible. Would that one could say as much of such professors as he and his fellows!

Thank goodness that Bavarian professor has finally left! Those days he spent here almost drove me crazy. While discussing my work, I once shared my thoughts on Medea da Carpi, and he condescended to respond that those were just the usual tales stemming from the myth-making (what an idiot!) tendencies of the Renaissance; that research would prove most of them wrong, just like it had disproved the popular stories about the Borgias, etc.; and that, besides, the kind of woman I described was psychologically and physiologically impossible. If only we could say the same about professors like him and his peers!

Nov. 24th.—

Nov. 24.

I cannot get over my pleasure in being rid of that imbecile; I felt as if I could have throttled him every time he spoke of the Lady of my thoughts—for such she has become—Metea, as the animal called her!

I can't shake off my joy at being rid of that idiot; I felt like I could choke him every time he mentioned the Lady of my thoughts—for that's who she's become—Metea, as that creature called her!

Nov. 30th.—

Nov. 30.

I feel quite shaken at what has just happened; I am beginning to fear that that old pedant was right in saying that it was bad for me to live all alone in a strange country, that it would make me morbid. It is ridiculous that I should be put into such a state of excitement merely by the chance discovery of a portrait of a woman dead these three hundred years. With the case of my uncle Ladislas, and other suspicions of insanity in my family, I ought really to guard against such foolish excitement.

I feel really unsettled by what just happened; I’m starting to worry that that old know-it-all was right when he said it was unhealthy for me to live all alone in a foreign country and that it would make me a bit bizarre. It's ridiculous that I should get so worked up just from stumbling upon a portrait of a woman who died three hundred years ago. Given my uncle Ladislas's situation and other signs of mental illness in my family, I should definitely be careful about getting caught up in such silly excitement.

Yet the incident was really dramatic, uncanny. I could have sworn that I knew every picture in the palace here; and particularly every picture of Her. Anyhow, this morning, as I was leaving the Archives, I passed through one of the many small rooms—irregular-shaped closets—which fill up the ins and outs of this curious palace, turreted like a French château. I must have passed through that closet before, for the view was so familiar out of its window; just the particular bit of round tower in front, the cypress on the other side of the ravine, the belfry beyond, and the piece of the line of Monte Sant' Agata and the Leonessa, covered with snow, against the sky. I suppose there must be twin rooms, and that I had got into the wrong one; or rather, perhaps some shutter had been opened or curtain withdrawn. As I was passing, my eye was caught by a very beautiful old mirror-frame let into the brown and yellow inlaid wall. I approached, and looking at the frame, looked also, mechanically, into the glass. I gave a great start, and almost shrieked, I do believe—(it's lucky the Munich professor is safe out of Urbania!). Behind my own image stood another, a figure close to my shoulder, a face close to mine; and that figure, that face, hers! Medea da Carpi's! I turned sharp round, as white, I think, as the ghost I expected to see. On the wall opposite the mirror, just a pace or two behind where I had been standing, hung a portrait. And such a portrait!—Bronzino never painted a grander one. Against a background of harsh, dark blue, there stands out the figure of the Duchess (for it is Medea, the real Medea, a thousand times more real, individual, and powerful than in the other portraits), seated stiffly in a high-backed chair, sustained, as it were, almost rigid, by the stiff brocade of skirts and stomacher, stiffer for plaques of embroidered silver flowers and rows of seed pearl. The dress is, with its mixture of silver and pearl, of a strange dull red, a wicked poppy-juice color, against which the flesh of the long, narrow hands with fringe-like fingers; of the long slender neck, and the face with bared forehead, looks white and hard, like alabaster. The face is the same as in the other portraits: the same rounded forehead, with the short fleece-like, yellowish-red curls; the same beautifully curved eyebrows, just barely marked; the same eyelids, a little tight across the eyes; the same lips, a little tight across the mouth; but with a purity of line, a dazzling splendor of skin, and intensity of look immeasurably superior to all the other portraits.

Yet the incident was really dramatic, eerie. I could have sworn I knew every picture in the palace here, especially every picture of Her. Anyway, this morning, as I was leaving the Archives, I walked through one of the many small rooms—strange-shaped closets—that fill the nooks and crannies of this unusual palace, which looks like a French château. I must have passed through that closet before because the view from its window was so familiar; just the particular round tower in front, the cypress on the other side of the ravine, the belfry beyond, and the piece of Monte Sant' Agata and the Leonessa, covered in snow, against the sky. I suppose there must be twin rooms, and I had accidentally entered the wrong one; or maybe some shutter had been opened or curtain pulled back. As I walked by, a very beautiful old mirror frame caught my eye, set into the brown and yellow inlaid wall. I moved closer, and looking at the frame, I looked also, almost unconsciously, into the glass. I jumped back and almost shrieked, I swear—(thankfully, the Munich professor is safely out of Urbania!). Behind my own reflection stood another figure, right by my shoulder, a face close to mine; and that figure, that face, hers! Medea da Carpi's! I turned around sharply, as pale, I think, as the ghost I expected to see. On the wall opposite the mirror, just a step or two behind where I had been standing, hung a portrait. And what a portrait!—Bronzino never painted a grander one. Against a harsh, dark blue background, the figure of the Duchess stands out (for it is Medea, the real Medea, a thousand times more vivid, individual, and powerful than in the other portraits), seated stiffly in a high-backed chair, almost rigid, sustained by the stiff brocade of her skirts and stomacher, made stiffer by embroidered silver flowers and rows of seed pearls. The dress, with its mixture of silver and pearls, is a strange dull red, a wicked poppy-juice color, against which the flesh of her long, narrow hands with fringe-like fingers, her long slender neck, and the face with a bare forehead look white and hard, like alabaster. The face is the same as in the other portraits: the same rounded forehead with short fleece-like, yellowish-red curls; the same beautifully curved eyebrows, just barely marked; the same eyelids, a little tight across the eyes; the same lips, a little tight across the mouth; but with a purity of line, a dazzling brilliance of skin, and intensity of gaze far superior to all the other portraits.

She looks out of the frame with a cold, level glance; yet the lips smile. One hand holds a dull-red rose; the other, long, narrow, tapering, plays with a thick rope of silk and gold and jewels hanging from the waist; round the throat, white as marble, partially confined in the tight dull-red bodice, hangs a gold collar, with the device on alternate enameled medallions, "AMOUR DURE—DURE AMOUR."

She gazes out of the frame with a cool, steady expression; yet her lips smile. One hand holds a dull-red rose; the other, long and slender, plays with a thick rope made of silk, gold, and jewels hanging from her waist. Around her neck, white as marble and partially constrained by the tight dull-red bodice, hangs a gold collar, featuring the inscription on alternating enameled medallions, "AMOUR DURE—DURE AMOUR."

On reflection, I see that I simply could never have been in that room or closet before; I must have mistaken the door. But, although the explanation is so simple, I still, after several hours, feel terribly shaken in all my being. If I grow so excitable I shall have to go to Rome at Christmas for a holiday. I feel as if some danger pursued me here (can it be fever?); and yet, and yet, I don't see how I shall ever tear myself away.

On reflection, I realize that I could never have been in that room or closet before; I must have mistaken the door. But, even though the explanation is so simple, I still feel really shaken to my core after several hours. If I get this worked up, I'll have to go to Rome for a holiday at Christmas. I feel like some kind of danger is chasing me here (could it be fever?); and yet, I really don’t see how I'll ever manage to leave.

Dec. 10th.—

Dec. 10

I have made an effort, and accepted the Vice-Prefect's son's invitation to see the oil-making at a villa of theirs near the coast. The villa, or farm, is an old fortified, towered place, standing on a hillside among olive-trees and little osier-bushes, which look like a bright orange flame. The olives are squeezed in a tremendous black cellar, like a prison: you see, by the faint white daylight, and the smoky yellow flare of resin burning in pans, great white bullocks moving round a huge millstone; vague figures working at pulleys and handles: it looks, to my fancy, like some scene of the Inquisition. The Cavaliere regaled me with his best wine and rusks. I took some long walks by the seaside; I had left Urbania wrapped in snow-clouds; down on the coast there was a bright sun; the sunshine, the sea, the bustle of the little port on the Adriatic seemed to do me good. I came back to Urbania another man. Sor Asdrubale, my landlord, poking about in slippers among the gilded chests, the Empire sofas, the old cups and saucers and pictures which no one will buy, congratulated me upon the improvement in my looks. "You work too much," he says; "youth requires amusement, theatres, promenades, amori—it is time enough to be serious when one is bald"—and he took off his greasy red cap. Yes, I am better! and, as a result, I take to my work with delight again. I will cut them out still, those wiseacres at Berlin!

I made an effort and accepted the Vice-Prefect's son's invitation to check out the oil-making at their villa near the coast. The villa, or farm, is an old fortified building with towers, sitting on a hillside among olive trees and little willow bushes that look like bright orange flames. The olives are pressed in a massive black cellar, which feels like a prison: you can see, in the faint white daylight and the smoky yellow glow of resin burning in pans, large white oxen moving around a huge millstone; vague figures are working at pulleys and handles: to me, it looks like a scene from the Inquisition. The Cavaliere treated me to his best wine and rusks. I took some long walks along the coast; I had left Urbania wrapped in snow clouds; down on the coast, there was bright sunshine; the sunshine, the sea, and the hustle and bustle of the little port on the Adriatic seemed to do me good. I returned to Urbania feeling like a different person. Sor Asdrubale, my landlord, shuffling around in slippers among the gilded chests, Empire sofas, old cups and saucers, and pictures that no one wants to buy, congratulated me on looking better. "You work too much," he says; "youth needs fun—going out, theaters, love affairs—it’s time to be serious when you’re bald"—and he took off his greasy red cap. Yes, I do feel better! Because of that, I’m diving back into my work with enthusiasm again. I'm going to show those know-it-alls in Berlin!

Dec. 14th.—

Dec. 14

I don't think I have ever felt so happy about my work. I see it all so well—that crafty, cowardly Duke Robert; that melancholy Duchess Maddalena; that weak, showy, would-be chivalrous Duke Guidalfonso; and above all, the splendid figure of Medea. I feel as if I were the greatest historian of the age; and, at the same time, as if I were a boy of twelve. It snowed yesterday for the first time in the city, for two good hours. When it had done, I actually went into the square and taught the ragamuffins to make a snowman; no, a snow-woman; and I had the fancy to call her Medea. "La pessima Medea!" cried one of the boys—"the one who used to ride through the air on a goat?" "No, no," I said; "she was a beautiful lady, the Duchess of Urbania, the most beautiful woman that ever lived." I made her a crown of tinsel, and taught the boys to cry "Evviva, Medea!" But one of them said, "She is a witch! She must be burnt!" At which they all rushed to fetch burning faggots and tow; in a minute the yelling demons had melted her down.

I don't think I've ever felt this happy about my work. I see everything so clearly—that sneaky, cowardly Duke Robert; that sad Duchess Maddalena; that weak, flashy, wannabe knight Duke Guidalfonso; and above all, the amazing figure of Medea. I feel like I'm the greatest historian of my time, and at the same time, like I'm a twelve-year-old boy. It snowed for the first time in the city yesterday, for a good two hours. When it stopped, I actually went to the square and taught the kids how to make a snowman; no, a snow-woman, and I thought it would be fun to call her Medea. "La pessima Medea!" shouted one of the boys—"the one who used to fly through the air on a goat?" "No, no," I replied; "she was a beautiful lady, the Duchess of Urbania, the most stunning woman who ever lived." I made her a crown of tinsel and taught the boys to shout "Evviva, Medea!" But one of them said, "She's a witch! She needs to be burned!" So, they all ran off to grab burning sticks and rags; in a minute, those yelling kids had melted her down.

Dec. 15th.—

Dec. 15

What a goose I am, and to think I am twenty-four, and known in literature! In my long walks I have composed to a tune (I don't know what it is) which all the people are singing and whistling in the street at present, a poem in frightful Italian, beginning "Medea, mia dea," calling on her in the name of her various lovers. I go about humming between my teeth, "Why am I not Marcantonio? or Prinzivalle? or he of Narni? or the good Duke Alfonso? that I might be beloved by thee, Medea, mia dea," &c. &c. Awful rubbish! My landlord, I think, suspects that Medea must be some lady I met while I was staying by the seaside. I am sure Sora Serafina, Sora Lodovica, and Sora Adalgisa—the three Parcae or Norns, as I call them—have some such notion. This afternoon, at dusk, while tidying my room, Sora Lodovica said to me, "How beautifully the Signorino has taken to singing!" I was scarcely aware that I had been vociferating, "Vieni, Medea, mia dea," while the old lady bobbed about making up my fire. I stopped; a nice reputation I shall get! I thought, and all this will somehow get to Rome, and thence to Berlin. Sora Lodovica was leaning out of the window, pulling in the iron hook of the shrine-lamp which marks Sor Asdrubale's house. As she was trimming the lamp previous to swinging it out again, she said in her odd, prudish little way, "You are wrong to stop singing, my son" (she varies between calling me Signor Professore and such terms of affection as "Nino," "Viscere mie," &c.); "you are wrong to stop singing, for there is a young lady there in the street who has actually stopped to listen to you."

What a fool I am, and to think I’m twenty-four and recognized in literature! On my long walks, I’ve made up a poem to a tune (I have no idea what it is) that everyone is singing and whistling in the street right now. It’s in terrible Italian, starting with "Medea, mia dea," calling her name along with her various lovers. I walk around humming to myself, "Why am I not Marcantonio? or Prinzivalle? or the guy from Narni? or the good Duke Alfonso? so that I could be loved by you, Medea, mia dea," and so on. Total nonsense! I think my landlord suspects that Medea must be some woman I met while I was at the beach. I’m sure Sora Serafina, Sora Lodovica, and Sora Adalgisa—the three Fates or Norns, as I call them—have some similar idea. This afternoon, at dusk, while I was straightening up my room, Sora Lodovica said to me, "How beautifully the young gentleman has taken to singing!" I hardly realized I had been belting out, "Vieni, Medea, mia dea," while the old lady was bustling around getting my fire ready. I stopped; what a nice reputation that's going to give me! I thought, and somehow all of this will make its way to Rome and then to Berlin. Sora Lodovica was leaning out of the window, pulling in the iron hook of the shrine-lamp that marks Sor Asdrubale's house. While she was adjusting the lamp before swinging it back out, she said in her quirky, prudish way, "You’re wrong to stop singing, my son" (she switches between calling me Signor Professore and sweet names like "Nino," "Viscere mie," etc.); "you’re wrong to stop singing, because there’s a young lady out in the street who has actually paused to listen to you."

I ran to the window. A woman, wrapped in a black shawl, was standing in an archway, looking up to the window.

I rushed to the window. A woman, wrapped in a black shawl, was standing in an archway, gazing up at the window.

"Eh, eh! the Signor Professore has admirers," said Sora Lodovica.

"Hey, hey! The Professor has fans," said Sora Lodovica.

"Medea, mia dea!" I burst out as loud as I could, with a boy's pleasure in disconcerting the inquisitive passer-by. She turned suddenly round to go away, waving her hand at me; at that moment Sora Lodovica swung the shrine-lamp back into its place. A stream of light fell across the street. I felt myself grow quite cold; the face of the woman outside was that of Medea da Carpi!

"Medea, my goddess!" I shouted as loudly as I could, enjoying the surprise of the curious onlooker. She abruptly turned to leave, waving her hand at me; at that moment, Sora Lodovica swung the shrine-lamp back into position. A beam of light lit up the street. I suddenly felt a chill; the woman outside looked just like Medea da Carpi!

What a fool I am, to be sure!

What a fool I am, for sure!

Part II

Dec. 17th.—I fear that my craze about Medea da Carpi has become well known, thanks to my silly talk and idiotic songs. That Vice-Prefect's son—or the assistant at the Archives, or perhaps some of the company at the Contessa's, is trying to play me a trick! But take care, my good ladies and gentlemen, I shall pay you out in your own coin! Imagine my feelings when, this morning, I found on my desk a folded letter addressed to me in a curious handwriting which seemed strangely familiar to me, and which, after a moment, I recognized as that of the letters of Medea da Carpi at the Archives. It gave me a horrible shock. My next idea was that it must be a present from some one who knew my interest in Medea—a genuine letter of hers on which some idiot had written my address instead of putting it into an envelope. But it was addressed to me, written to me, no old letter; merely four lines, which ran as follows:—

Dec. 17th.—I’m worried that my obsession with Medea da Carpi has become common knowledge, thanks to my foolish chatter and ridiculous songs. That Vice-Prefect’s son—or maybe the assistant at the Archives, or someone from the Contessa’s crowd—is trying to pull a fast one on me! But be warned, my dear ladies and gentlemen, I’ll get back at you in kind! Just picture how I felt when, this morning, I found a folded letter on my desk, addressed to me in a strange handwriting that felt oddly familiar. After a moment, I realized it was the same style as the letters from Medea da Carpi at the Archives. It gave me a terrible shock. My next thought was that it must be a gift from someone who knew about my fascination with Medea—a genuine letter from her that some fool just addressed to me without putting it in an envelope. But it was indeed addressed to me, written to me, not an old letter; just four lines that said:—

"To Spiridion.—

"To Spiridion."

"A person who knows the interest you bear her will be at the Church of San Giovanni Decollato this evening at nine. Look out, in the left aisle, for a lady wearing a black mantle, and holding a rose."

"A person who knows how much you care about her will be at the Church of San Giovanni Decollato this evening at nine. Look for a woman in the left aisle, wearing a black cloak and holding a rose."

By this time I understood that I was the object of a conspiracy, the victim of a hoax. I turned the letter round and round. It was written on paper such as was made in the sixteenth century, and in an extraordinarily precise imitation of Medea da Carpi's characters. Who had written it? I thought over all the possible people. On the whole, it must be the Vice-Prefect's son, perhaps in combination with his lady-love, the Countess. They must have torn a blank page off some old letter; but that either of them should have had the ingenuity of inventing such a hoax, or the power of committing such a forgery, astounds me beyond measure. There is more in these people than I should have guessed. How pay them off? By taking no notice of the letter? Dignified, but dull. No, I will go; perhaps some one will be there, and I will mystify them in their turn. Or, if no one is there, how I shall crow over them for their imperfectly carried out plot! Perhaps this is some folly of the Cavalier Muzio's to bring me into the presence of some lady whom he destines to be the flame of my future amori. That is likely enough. And it would be too idiotic and professorial to refuse such an invitation; the lady must be worth knowing who can forge sixteenth-century letters like this, for I am sure that languid swell Muzio never could. I will go! By Heaven! I'll pay them back in their own coin! It is now five—how long these days are!

By this time, I realized that I was the target of a conspiracy, the victim of a prank. I turned the letter back and forth. It was written on paper similar to that from the sixteenth century, and in an incredibly precise imitation of Medea da Carpi's handwriting. Who wrote it? I considered all the possible suspects. Most likely, it had to be the Vice-Prefect's son, maybe teamed up with his girlfriend, the Countess. They must have ripped a blank page from some old letter; but the fact that either of them could come up with such an elaborate prank, or mastermind such a forgery, truly amazes me. There's more to these people than I would have expected. How should I get back at them? By ignoring the letter? That would be dignified, but boring. No, I'm going; maybe someone will be there, and I can confuse them in return. Or, if no one is there, oh how I will gloat over their poorly executed plot! Perhaps this is some scheme from Cavalier Muzio to bring me face-to-face with a woman he’s planning to introduce as the love of my future. That seems likely. And it would be too foolish and stuffy to turn down such an invitation; the lady must be worth meeting if she can forge sixteenth-century letters like this, as I'm certain that laid-back Muzio never could. I will go! By heaven! I’ll get my revenge! It’s now five—how long this day is!

Dec. 18th.

Dec. 18.

Am I mad? Or are there really ghosts? That adventure of last night has shaken me to the very depth of my soul.

Am I crazy? Or are there really ghosts? That adventure last night has shaken me to my core.

I went at nine, as the mysterious letter had bid me. It was bitterly cold, and the air full of fog and sleet; not a shop open, not a window unshuttered, not a creature visible; the narrow black streets, precipitous between their, high walls and under their lofty archways, were only the blacker for the dull light of an oil-lamp here and there, with its flickering yellow reflection on the wet flags. San Giovanni Decollato is a little church, or rather oratory, which I have always hitherto seen shut up (as so many churches here are shut up except on great festivals); and situate behind the ducal palace, on a sharp ascent, and forming the bifurcation of two steep paved lanes. I have passed by the place a hundred times, and scarcely noticed the little church, except for the marble high relief over the door, showing the grizzly head of the Baptist in the charger, and for the iron cage close by, in which were formerly exposed the heads of criminals; the decapitated, or, as they call him here, decollated, John the Baptist, being apparently the patron of axe and block.

I went at nine, just like the mysterious letter instructed. It was freezing cold, and the air was filled with fog and sleet; no shops were open, no windows unshuttered, and no one was in sight; the narrow, dark streets, steep between their high walls and under their towering archways, seemed even darker with the dim light of an oil lamp here and there, its flickering yellow glow reflecting off the wet pavement. San Giovanni Decollato is a small church, or rather an oratory, which I had always seen locked up (like so many churches here that only open on major holidays); it’s located behind the ducal palace, on a steep incline, where two steep, paved lanes split. I’ve passed by this spot hundreds of times and barely noticed the little church, except for the marble relief over the door showing the gruesome head of the Baptist on a platter, and the iron cage nearby where heads of criminals were once displayed; the decapitated John the Baptist, as they refer to him here, seemingly serves as the patron of axe and block.

A few strides took me from my lodgings to San Giovanni Decollato. I confess I was excited; one is not twenty-four and a Pole for nothing. On getting to the kind of little platform at the bifurcation of the two precipitous streets, I found, to my surprise, that the windows of the church or oratory were not lighted, and that the door was locked! So this was the precious joke that had been played upon me; to send me on a bitter cold, sleety night, to a church which was shut up and had perhaps been shut up for years! I don't know what I couldn't have done in that moment of rage; I felt inclined to break open the church door, or to go and pull the Vice-Prefect's son out of bed (for I felt sure that the joke was his). I determined upon the latter course; and was walking towards his door, along the black alley to the left of the church, when I was suddenly stopped by the sound as of an organ close by, an organ, yes, quite plainly, and the voice of choristers and the drone of a litany. So the church was not shut, after all! I retraced my steps to the top of the lane. All was dark and in complete silence. Suddenly there came again a faint gust of organ and voices. I listened; it clearly came from the other lane, the one on the right-hand side. Was there, perhaps, another door there? I passed beneath the archway, and descended a little way in the direction whence the sounds seemed to come. But no door, no light, only the black walls, the black wet flags, with their faint yellow reflections of flickering oil-lamps; moreover, complete silence. I stopped a minute, and then the chant rose again; this time it seemed to me most certainly from the lane I had just left. I went back—nothing. Thus backwards and forwards, the sounds always beckoning, as it were, one way, only to beckon me back, vainly, to the other.

A few steps took me from my place to San Giovanni Decollato. I admit I was thrilled; you don't turn twenty-four and be a Pole for nothing. When I reached the small platform at the fork of the two steep streets, I was surprised to find that the church windows were dark and the door was locked! So this was the cruel joke played on me—to send me out on a freezing, sleety night to a church that was closed and might have been for years! I can't say what I wouldn't have done in that moment of anger; I felt like breaking down the church door or dragging the Vice-Prefect's son out of bed (I was sure the joke was his). I decided to do the latter; as I was walking toward his place along the dark alley to the left of the church, I suddenly heard the sound of an organ nearby, an organ, yes, clearly, along with the voices of choir singers and the hum of a litany. So the church wasn't closed after all! I went back to the top of the lane. Everything was dark and completely silent. Then I heard the faint sounds of the organ and voices again. I listened; it clearly came from the other lane, on the right side. Was there maybe another entrance there? I walked under the archway and went a little way toward where the sounds seemed to come from. But no door, no light, just the dark walls, the wet black stones, with their faint yellow reflections from flickering oil lamps; and complete silence. I paused for a minute, then the chant rose again; this time it seemed to be definitely from the lane I just left. I went back—nothing. Back and forth I went, the sounds always enticing me one way, only to call me back in vain to the other.

At last I lost patience; and I felt a sort of creeping terror, which only a violent action could dispel. If the mysterious sounds came neither from the street to the right, nor from the street to the left, they could come only from the church. Half-maddened, I rushed up the two or three steps, and prepared to wrench the door open with a tremendous effort. To my amazement, it opened with the greatest ease. I entered, and the sounds of the litany met me louder than before, as I paused a moment between the outer door and the heavy leathern curtain. I raised the latter and crept in. The altar was brilliantly illuminated with tapers and garlands of chandeliers; this was evidently some evening service connected with Christmas. The nave and aisles were comparatively dark, and about half-full. I elbowed my way along the right aisle towards the altar. When my eyes had got accustomed to the unexpected light, I began to look round me, and with a beating heart. The idea that all this was a hoax, that I should meet merely some acquaintance of my friend the Cavaliere's, had somehow departed: I looked about. The people were all wrapped up, the men in big cloaks, the women in woolen veils and mantles. The body of the church was comparatively dark, and I could not make out anything very clearly, but it seemed to me, somehow, as if, under the cloaks and veils, these people were dressed in a rather extraordinary fashion. The man in front of me, I remarked, showed yellow stockings beneath his cloak; a woman, hard by, a red bodice, laced behind with gold tags. Could these be peasants from some remote part come for the Christmas festivities, or did the inhabitants of Urbania don some old-fashioned garb in honor of Christmas?

At last, I lost my patience; a creeping terror filled me, and I felt that only a bold action could dispel it. If the mysterious sounds weren’t coming from the street on the right or the one on the left, they could only be coming from the church. Half-crazed, I rushed up the two or three steps and prepared to force the door open with a massive effort. To my surprise, it opened easily. I stepped inside, and the sounds of the litany hit me louder than before as I paused for a moment between the outer door and the heavy leather curtain. I lifted the curtain and slipped in. The altar was brightly lit with candles and garlands of chandeliers; it was clearly some evening service connected to Christmas. The nave and aisles were relatively dark and about half-full. I pushed my way along the right aisle toward the altar. As my eyes adjusted to the unexpected light, I started looking around, my heart racing. The thought that this was all a trick, that I would only meet an acquaintance of my friend the Cavaliere, had somehow faded: I scanned the room. The people were all bundled up, the men in large cloaks, the women in woolen veils and shawls. The main part of the church was comparatively dark, and I couldn’t make out much clearly, but it somehow seemed like these people were dressed in a rather unusual way under their cloaks and veils. I noticed that the man in front of me had yellow stockings peeking out from his cloak; a woman nearby wore a red bodice laced with gold tags in the back. Could these be peasants from some far-off place come for the Christmas celebrations, or did the people of Urbania put on some old-fashioned attire in honor of Christmas?

As I was wondering, my eye suddenly caught that of a woman standing in the opposite aisle, close to the altar, and in the full blaze of its lights. She was wrapped in black, but held, in a very conspicuous way, a red rose, an unknown luxury at this time of the year in a place like Urbania. She evidently saw me, and turning even more fully into the light, she loosened her heavy black cloak, displaying a dress of deep red, with gleams of silver and gold embroideries; she turned her face towards me; the full blaze of the chandeliers and tapers fell upon it. It was the face of Medea da Carpi! I dashed across the nave, pushing people roughly aside, or rather, it seemed to me, passing through impalpable bodies. But the lady turned and walked rapidly down the aisle towards the door. I followed close upon her, but somehow I could not get up with her. Once, at the curtain, she turned round again. She was within a few paces of me. Yes, it was Medea. Medea herself, no mistake, no delusion, no sham; the oval face, the lips tightened over the mouth, the eyelids tight over the corner of the eyes, the exquisite alabaster complexion! She raised the curtain and glided out. I followed; the curtain alone separated me from her. I saw the wooden door swing to behind her. One step ahead of me! I tore open the door; she must be on the steps, within reach of my arm!

As I was lost in thought, I suddenly spotted a woman standing in the opposite aisle, close to the altar, under the full brightness of its lights. She was dressed in black but prominently held a red rose, a rare luxury at this time of year in a place like Urbania. She clearly noticed me and, turning more fully into the light, she loosened her heavy black cloak, revealing a deep red dress adorned with shimmering silver and gold embroidery; she turned her face toward me, and the bright chandeliers and candles illuminated it. It was the face of Medea da Carpi! I rushed across the aisle, roughly pushing people aside, or at least it felt like I was moving through air. But the lady turned and quickly walked down the aisle towards the door. I trailed closely, but somehow couldn't catch up with her. At one point, at the curtain, she turned around again. She was just a few steps away from me. Yes, it was Medea. Medea herself, without a doubt, no illusion or fake; the oval face, the lips pressed tight, the eyelids firm over the corners of her eyes, the exquisite alabaster complexion! She lifted the curtain and slipped out. I followed; the curtain was the only thing separating me from her. I saw the wooden door close behind her. Just a step ahead of me! I flung open the door; she must be on the steps, within reach of my arm!

I stood outside the church. All was empty, merely the wet pavement and the yellow reflections in the pools: a sudden cold seized me; I could not go on. I tried to re-enter the church; it was shut. I rushed home, my hair standing on end, and trembling in all my limbs, and remained for an hour like a maniac. Is it a delusion? Am I too going mad? O God, God! am I going mad?

I stood outside the church. Everything was empty, just the wet pavement and the yellow reflections in the puddles: a sudden chill gripped me; I couldn’t move forward. I tried to go back into the church; it was locked. I hurried home, my hair standing on end, trembling all over, and I stayed like that for an hour, feeling frantic. Is this a delusion? Am I losing my mind too? Oh God, God! Am I going insane?

Dec. 19th.—

Dec. 19.

A brilliant, sunny day; all the black snow-slush has disappeared out of the town, off the bushes and trees. The snow-clad mountains sparkle against the bright blue sky. A Sunday, and Sunday weather; all the bells are ringing for the approach of Christmas. They are preparing for a kind of fair in the square with the colonnade, putting up booths filled with colored cotton and woolen ware, bright shawls and kerchiefs, mirrors, ribbons, brilliant pewter lamps; the whole turn-out of the peddler in "Winter's Tale." The pork-shops are all garlanded with green and with paper flowers, the hams and cheeses stuck full of little flags and green twigs. I strolled out to see the cattle-fair outside the gate; a forest of interlacing horns, an ocean of lowing and stamping: hundreds of immense white bullocks, with horns a yard long and red tassels, packed close together on the little piazza d'armi under the city walls. Bah! Why do I write this trash? What's the use of it all? While I am forcing myself to write about bells, and Christmas festivities, and cattle-fairs, one idea goes on like a bell within me: Medea, Medea! Have I really seen her, or am I mad?

A bright, sunny day; all the black snow slush has vanished from the town, the bushes, and the trees. The snow-covered mountains sparkle against the clear blue sky. It's Sunday, and the weather feels like it; all the bells are ringing for the approach of Christmas. They're setting up a kind of fair in the square with the colonnade, putting up booths filled with colorful cotton and wool products, bright shawls and scarves, mirrors, ribbons, and shiny pewter lamps; it’s like the whole setup of a vendor from "Winter's Tale." The butcher shops are decorated with greenery and paper flowers, the hams and cheeses adorned with little flags and green twigs. I wandered out to check out the cattle fair outside the gate; a forest of intertwining horns, an ocean of mooing and stamping: hundreds of massive white bulls, with horns a yard long and red tassels, tightly packed together in the little piazza d'armi under the city walls. Ugh! Why am I writing this nonsense? What's the point of it all? While I'm forcing myself to write about bells, Christmas celebrations, and cattle fairs, one thought keeps ringing in my mind: Medea, Medea! Have I really seen her, or am I losing my mind?

Two hours later.—That Church of San Giovanni Decollato—so my landlord informs me—has not been made use of within the memory of man. Could it have been all a hallucination or a dream—perhaps a dream dreamed that night? I have been out again to look at that church. There it is, at the bifurcation of the two steep lanes, with its bas-relief of the Baptist's head over the door. The door does look as if it had not been opened for years. I can see the cobwebs in the windowpanes; it does look as if, as Sor Asdrubale says, only rats and spiders congregated within it. And yet—and yet; I have so clear a remembrance, so distinct a consciousness of it all. There was a picture of the daughter of Herodias dancing, upon the altar; I remember her white turban with a scarlet tuft of feathers, and Herod's blue caftan; I remember the shape of the central chandelier; it swung round slowly, and one of the wax lights had got bent almost in two by the heat and draught.

Two hours later.—That Church of San Giovanni Decollato—so my landlord tells me—hasn’t been used in as long as anyone can remember. Could it have all been a hallucination or a dream—maybe a dream I had that night? I went out again to check on that church. There it is, at the fork of the two steep streets, with its bas-relief of the Baptist's head over the door. The door really looks like it hasn’t been opened in years. I can see cobwebs in the windowpanes; it does seem like, as Sor Asdrubale says, only rats and spiders gather inside. And yet—and yet; I have such a clear memory, such a vivid awareness of it all. There was a painting of Herodias's daughter dancing on the altar; I remember her white turban with a scarlet tuft of feathers, and Herod's blue robe; I remember the shape of the central chandelier; it swung slowly, and one of the wax candles had almost bent in half from the heat and draft.

Things, all these, which I may have seen elsewhere, stored unawares in my brain, and which may have come out, somehow, in a dream; I have heard physiologists allude to such things. I will go again: if the church be shut, why then it must have been a dream, a vision, the result of over-excitement. I must leave at once for Rome and see doctors, for I am afraid of going mad. If, on the other hand—pshaw! there is no other hand in such a case. Yet if there were—why then, I should really have seen Medea; I might see her again; speak to her. The mere thought sets my blood in a whirl, not with horror, but with… I know not what to call it. The feeling terrifies me, but it is delicious. Idiot! There is some little coil of my brain, the twentieth of a hair's-breadth out of order—that's all!

All these things I might have seen somewhere else, stored unknowingly in my mind, and which might have surfaced somehow in a dream; I've heard scientists refer to such experiences. I’ll go again: if the church is closed, then it must have been a dream, a vision, the result of being overly stimulated. I need to leave for Rome immediately and see doctors, because I'm afraid I might be going insane. On the other hand—ugh! there is no other hand in this situation. But if there were—then I would have actually seen Medea; I might see her again; talk to her. Just thinking about it sends a rush through me, not with fear, but with… I don’t know what to call it. The feeling frightens me, but it's fantastic. What a fool! There's just a tiny part of my brain, the width of a hair's breadth, that’s a bit off—that’s all!

Dec. 20th.—

Dec. 20.

I have been again; I have heard the music; I have been inside the church; I have seen Her! I can no longer doubt my senses. Why should I? Those pedants say that the dead are dead, the past is past. For them, yes; but why for me?—why for a man who loves, who is consumed with the love of a woman?—a woman who, indeed—yes, let me finish the sentence. Why should there not be ghosts to such as can see them? Why should she not return to the earth, if she knows that it contains a man who thinks of, desires, only her?

I've been there again; I've heard the music; I've been inside the church; I've seen her! I can't doubt my senses any longer. Why would I? Those know-it-alls say that the dead are dead, and the past is the past. For them, maybe; but why should it be that way for me?—for a man who loves, who is consumed by the love of a woman?—a woman who, indeed—yes, let me finish that thought. Why shouldn't ghosts exist for those who can see them? Why shouldn't she come back to the earth if she knows there's a man who thinks of her, desires only her?

A hallucination? Why, I saw her, as I see this paper that I write upon; standing there, in the full blaze of the altar. Why, I heard the rustle of her skirts, I smelt the scent of her hair, I raised the curtain which was shaking from her touch. Again I missed her. But this time, as I rushed out into the empty moonlit street, I found upon the church steps a rose—the rose which I had seen in her hand the moment before—I felt it, smelt it; a rose, a real, living rose, dark red and only just plucked. I put it into water when I returned, after having kissed it, who knows how many times? I placed it on the top of the cupboard; I determined not to look at it for twenty-four hours lest it should be a delusion. But I must see it again; I must…. Good Heavens! this is horrible, horrible; if I had found a skeleton it could not have been worse! The rose, which last night seemed freshly plucked, full of color and perfume, is brown, dry—a thing kept for centuries between the leaves of a book—it has crumbled into dust between my fingers. Horrible, horrible! But why so, pray? Did I not know that I was in love with a woman dead three hundred years? If I wanted fresh roses which bloomed yesterday, the Countess Fiammetta or any little sempstress in Urbania might have given them me. What if the rose has fallen to dust? If only I could hold Medea in my arms as I held it in my fingers, kiss her lips as I kissed its petals, should I not be satisfied if she too were to fall to dust the next moment, if I were to fall to dust myself?

A hallucination? I saw her just like I see this paper I'm writing on; standing there in the full light of the altar. I heard the rustle of her dress, I smelled her hair, and I lifted the curtain that was trembling from her touch. Once again, I lost her. But this time, as I rushed out into the empty, moonlit street, I found a rose on the church steps—the same rose I had seen in her hand just moments before. I touched it, smelled it; a rose, a real, fresh rose, dark red and just picked. I put it in water when I got back, after kissing it who knows how many times? I set it on top of the cupboard, deciding not to look at it for twenty-four hours in case it turned out to be an illusion. But I have to see it again; I must.... Good heavens! This is dreadful, truly dreadful; if I had found a skeleton it couldn't have been worse! The rose that last night seemed fresh, colorful, and fragrant is now brown, dry—a thing that has been kept for centuries between the pages of a book—it crumbled into dust in my fingers. Dreadful, dreadful! But why? Did I not know I was in love with a woman who died three hundred years ago? If I wanted fresh roses that bloomed yesterday, the Countess Fiammetta or any little seamstress in Urbania could have given them to me. So what if the rose has turned to dust? If only I could hold Medea in my arms like I held the rose, kiss her lips like I kissed its petals, wouldn't I be satisfied even if she too turned to dust the next moment, even if I turned to dust myself?

Dec. 22nd, Eleven at night.—

Dec. 22, 11 PM.—

I have seen her once more!—almost spoken to her. I have been promised her love! Ah, Spiridion! you were right when you felt that you were not made for any earthly amori. At the usual hour I betook myself this evening to San Giovanni Decollato. A bright winter night; the high houses and belfries standing out against a deep blue heaven luminous, shimmering like steel with myriads of stars; the moon has not yet risen. There was no light in the windows; but, after a little effort, the door opened and I entered the church, the altar, as usual, brilliantly illuminated. It struck me suddenly that all this crowd of men and women standing all round, these priests chanting and moving about the altar, were dead—that they did not exist for any man save me. I touched, as if by accident, the hand of my neighbor; it was cold, like wet clay. He turned round, but did not seem to see me: his face was ashy, and his eyes staring, fixed, like those of a blind man or a corpse. I felt as if I must rush out. But at that moment my eye fell upon Her, standing as usual by the altar steps, wrapped in a black mantle, in the full blaze of the lights. She turned round; the light fell straight upon her face, the face with the delicate features, the eyelids and lips a little tight, the alabaster skin faintly tinged with pale pink. Our eyes met.

I saw her again!—almost spoke to her. I've been promised her love! Ah, Spiridion! You were right when you sensed that you weren’t made for any earthly amori. At the usual time, I went to San Giovanni Decollato this evening. It was a bright winter night; the tall buildings and bell towers stood out against a deep blue sky shining like steel with countless stars; the moon hadn’t risen yet. There were no lights in the windows, but after a little effort, the door opened and I entered the church, the altar brilliantly lit as usual. It suddenly struck me that all these men and women standing around, these priests chanting and moving around the altar, were dead—that they didn’t exist for anyone but me. I accidentally touched the hand of my neighbor; it was cold, like wet clay. He turned around but didn’t seem to see me: his face was ashen, and his eyes were staring, fixed, like those of a blind man or a corpse. I felt like I had to run out. But at that moment, I noticed Her, standing as usual by the altar steps, wrapped in a black mantle, bathed in the bright light. She turned around; the light fell directly on her face, with delicate features, eyelids and lips slightly tight, and alabaster skin faintly tinged with pale pink. Our eyes met.

I pushed my way across the nave towards where she stood by the altar steps; she turned quickly down the aisle, and I after her. Once or twice she lingered, and I thought I should overtake her; but again, when, not a second after the door had closed upon her, I stepped out into the street, she had vanished. On the church step lay something white. It was not a flower this time, but a letter. I rushed back to the church to read it; but the church was fast shut, as if it had not been opened for years. I could not see by the flickering shrine-lamps—I rushed home, lit my lamp, pulled the letter from my breast. I have it before me. The handwriting is hers; the same as in the Archives, the same as in that first letter:—

I made my way across the nave toward where she was standing by the altar steps; she quickly turned down the aisle, and I followed her. A couple of times she hesitated, and I thought I’d catch up to her; but again, just a moment after she disappeared through the door, I stepped out onto the street, and she was gone. On the church steps lay something white. This time it wasn’t a flower, but a letter. I rushed back into the church to read it, but it was locked up tight, as if it hadn’t been opened in years. I couldn’t see by the flickering shrine lamps—I hurried home, lit my lamp, and took the letter from my pocket. I have it in front of me. The handwriting is hers; the same as in the Archives, the same as in that first letter:—

"To Spiridion.—

"To Spiridion."

"Let thy courage be equal to thy love, and thy love shall be rewarded. On the night preceding Christmas, take a hatchet and saw; cut boldly into the body of the bronze rider who stands in the Corte, on the left side, near the waist. Saw open the body, and within it thou wilt find the silver effigy of a winged genius. Take it out, hack it into a hundred pieces, and fling them in all directions, so that the winds may sweep them away. That night she whom thou lovest will come to reward thy fidelity."

"Let your courage match your love, and your love will be rewarded. On the night before Christmas, take a hatchet and a saw; cut boldly into the body of the bronze rider who stands in the Corte, on the left side, near the waist. Saw open the body, and inside you will find the silver figure of a winged spirit. Take it out, chop it into a hundred pieces, and throw them in all directions, so the winds can carry them away. That night, the one you love will come to reward your loyalty."

On the brownish wax is the device—"AMOUR DURE—DURE AMOUR."

On the brownish wax is the mark—"AMOUR DURE—DURE AMOUR."

Dec. 23rd.—

Dec. 23rd.—

So it is true! I was reserved for something wonderful in this world. I have at last found that after which my soul has been straining. Ambition, love of art, love of Italy, these things which have occupied my spirit, and have yet left me continually unsatisfied, these were none of them my real destiny. I have sought for life, thirsting for it as a man in the desert thirsts for a well; but the life of the senses of other youths, the life of the intellect of other men, have never slaked that thirst. Shall life for me mean the love of a dead woman? We smile at what we choose to call the superstition of the past, forgetting that all our vaunted science of today may seem just such another superstition to the men of the future; but why should the present be right and the past wrong? The men who painted the pictures and built the palaces of three hundred years ago were certainly of as delicate fiber, of as keen reason, as ourselves, who merely print calico and build locomotives. What makes me think this, is that I have been calculating my nativity by help of an old book belonging to Sor Asdrubale—and see, my horoscope tallies almost exactly with that of Medea da Carpi, as given by a chronicler. May this explain? No, no; all is explained by the fact that the first time I read of this woman's career, the first time I saw her portrait, I loved her, though I hid my love to myself in the garb of historical interest. Historical interest indeed!

So it’s true! I was meant for something amazing in this world. I finally found what my soul has been striving for. Ambition, passion for art, love for Italy—these things that have occupied my mind but still left me feeling unsatisfied—none of these were my true destiny. I’ve searched for life, craving it like someone in the desert craves water, but the experiences of other young people and the intellectual pursuits of other men have never quenched that thirst. Does life for me mean loving a dead woman? We laugh at what we call the superstitions of the past, forgetting that all our so-called science today might seem like superstition to future generations; but why should the present be right and the past be wrong? The people who painted the masterpieces and built the palaces three hundred years ago were certainly just as sensitive and rational as we are, who only print fabric and build trains. What makes me think this is that I’ve been checking my birth chart using an old book that belongs to Sor Asdrubale—and look, my horoscope matches almost exactly with that of Medea da Carpi, as noted by a historian. Could this explain it? No, no; everything is explained by the fact that the first time I read about this woman’s life, the first time I saw her portrait, I loved her, even though I disguised my feelings as historical interest. Historical interest, indeed!

I have got the hatchet and the saw. I bought the saw of a poor joiner, in a village some miles off; he did not understand at first what I meant, and I think he thought me mad; perhaps I am. But if madness means the happiness of one's life, what of it? The hatchet I saw lying in a timber-yard, where they prepare the great trunks of the fir-trees which grow high on the Apennines of Sant' Elmo. There was no one in the yard, and I could not resist the temptation; I handled the thing, tried its edge, and stole it. This is the first time in my life that I have been a thief; why did I not go into a shop and buy a hatchet? I don't know; I seemed unable to resist the sight of the shining blade. What I am going to do is, I suppose, an act of vandalism; and certainly I have no right to spoil the property of this city of Urbania. But I wish no harm either to the statue or the city, if I could plaster up the bronze, I would do so willingly. But I must obey Her; I must avenge Her; I must get at that silver image which Robert of Montemurlo had made and consecrated in order that his cowardly soul might sleep in peace, and not encounter that of the being whom he dreaded most in the world. Aha! Duke Robert, you forced her to die unshriven, and you stuck the image of your soul into the image of your body, thinking thereby that, while she suffered the tortures of Hell, you would rest in peace, until your well-scoured little soul might fly straight up to Paradise;—you were afraid of Her when both of you should be dead, and thought yourself very clever to have prepared for all emergencies! Not so, Serene Highness. You too shall taste what it is to wander after death, and to meet the dead whom one has injured.

I have the hatchet and the saw. I bought the saw from a poor carpenter in a village a few miles away. At first, he didn't get what I meant, and I think he thought I was crazy—maybe I am. But if being crazy means living a happy life, then so be it. I found the hatchet lying in a lumber yard where they prepare the huge fir tree trunks from the high Apennines of Sant' Elmo. There was no one around, and I couldn't resist the temptation; I picked it up, tested its edge, and took it. This is the first time in my life I've stolen something; why didn’t I just go into a store and buy a hatchet? I have no idea; I just couldn't ignore the sight of the shiny blade. What I'm about to do is probably vandalism; I definitely don't have the right to damage the property of this city, Urbania. But I mean no harm to either the statue or the city. If I could patch up the bronze, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I must obey Her; I must take revenge for Her; I need to deal with that silver image that Robert of Montemurlo had made and consecrated so his cowardly soul could rest in peace without facing the being he feared most. Aha! Duke Robert, you made her die without confession, and you embedded the image of your soul into the image of your body, thinking that while she suffered in Hell, you would be resting in peace until your shiny little soul could shoot straight up to Paradise—you were afraid of Her when both of you should be dead, and you thought you were clever for preparing for every outcome! Not so, Your Highness. You too will know what it's like to wander after death and confront the dead whom you have harmed.

What an interminable day! But I shall see her again tonight.

What a never-ending day! But I'll see her again tonight.

Eleven o'clock.—No; the church was fast closed; the spell had ceased. Until tomorrow I shall not see her. But tomorrow! Ah, Medea! did any of thy lovers love thee as I do?

Eleven o'clock.—No; the church was tightly shut; the magic was gone. I won't see her until tomorrow. But tomorrow! Ah, Medea! Did any of your lovers love you as I do?

Twenty-four hours more till the moment of happiness—the moment for which I seem to have been waiting all my life. And after that, what next? Yes, I see it plainer every minute; after that, nothing more. All those who loved Medea da Carpi, who loved and who served her, died: Giovanfrancesco Pico, her first husband, whom she left stabbed in the castle from which she fled; Stimigliano, who died of poison; the groom who gave him the poison, cut down by her orders; Oliverotto da Narni, Marcantonio Frangipani, and that poor boy of the Ordelaffi, who had never even looked upon her face, and whose only reward was that handkerchief with which the hangman wiped the sweat off his face, when he was one mass of broken limbs and torn flesh: all had to die, and I shall die also.

Twenty-four more hours until the moment of happiness—the moment I've been waiting for my whole life. And then, what comes next? Yes, it's becoming clearer every minute; after that, nothing. All those who loved Medea da Carpi, who cared for her and served her, have died: Giovanfrancesco Pico, her first husband, whom she left stabbed in the castle she escaped from; Stimigliano, who died from poison; the groom who gave him the poison, killed on her orders; Oliverotto da Narni, Marcantonio Frangipani, and that poor boy of the Ordelaffi, who had never even seen her face, and whose only reward was that handkerchief the executioner used to wipe the sweat off his face while he was one mass of broken limbs and torn flesh: they all had to die, and I'll die too.

The love of such a woman is enough, and is fatal—"Amour Dure," as her device says. I shall die also. But why not? Would it be possible to live in order to love another woman? Nay, would it be possible to drag on a life like this one after the happiness of tomorrow? Impossible; the others died, and I must die. I always felt that I should not live long; a gipsy in Poland told me once that I had in my hand the cut-line which signifies a violent death. I might have ended in a duel with some brother-student, or in a railway accident. No, no; my death will not be of that sort! Death—and is not she also dead? What strange vistas does such a thought not open! Then the others—Pico, the Groom, Stimigliano, Oliverotto, Frangipani, Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi—will they all be there? But she shall love me best—me by whom she has been loved after she has been three hundred years in the grave!

The love of a woman like that is everything, and it can be deadly—"Amour Dure," as her symbol states. I'll die too. But why not? Is it even possible to live just to love another woman? No way; how could I carry on a life like this after tasting the happiness that tomorrow could bring? It's impossible; the others have died, and I must die too. I've always sensed that I wouldn’t live long; a gypsy in Poland once told me that I had the line on my palm indicating a violent death. I could have ended up in a duel with some fellow student or in a train accident. No, no; my death won't be like that! Death—and isn’t she dead too? What strange possibilities does such a thought open up! Then the others—Pico, the Groom, Stimigliano, Oliverotto, Frangipani, Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi—will they all be there? But she'll love me the most—me, the one she loved even after being three hundred years in the grave!

Dec. 24th.—

Dec. 24th.

I have made all my arrangements. Tonight at eleven I slip out; Sor Asdrubale and his sisters will be sound asleep. I have questioned them; their fear of rheumatism prevents their attending midnight mass. Luckily there are no churches between this and the Corte; whatever movement Christmas night may entail will be a good way off. The Vice-Prefect's rooms are on the other side of the palace; the rest of the square is taken up with state-rooms, archives, and empty stables and coach-houses of the palace. Besides, I shall be quick at my work.

I’ve made all my plans. Tonight at eleven, I’ll sneak out; Sor Asdrubale and his sisters will be fast asleep. I’ve asked them about it; they’re too worried about getting rheumatism to go to midnight mass. Fortunately, there aren’t any churches between here and the Corte; whatever Christmas activities happen will be far away. The Vice-Prefect’s rooms are on the other side of the palace; the rest of the square is filled with state rooms, archives, and empty stables and coach houses of the palace. Plus, I’ll be quick about my work.

I have tried my saw on a stout bronze vase I bought of Sor Asdrubale; and the bronze of the statue, hollow and worn away by rust (I have even noticed holes), cannot resist very much, especially after a blow with the sharp hatchet. I have put my papers in order, for the benefit of the Government which has sent me hither. I am sorry to have defrauded them of their "History of Urbania." To pass the endless day and calm the fever of impatience, I have just taken a long walk. This is the coldest day we have had. The bright sun does not warm in the least, but seems only to increase the impression of cold, to make the snow on the mountains glitter, the blue air to sparkle like steel. The few people who are out are muffled to the nose, and carry earthenware braziers beneath their cloaks; long icicles hang from the fountain with the figure of Mercury upon it; one can imagine the wolves trooping down through the dry scrub and beleaguering this town. Somehow this cold makes me feel wonderfully calm—it seems to bring back to me my boyhood.

I’ve tested my saw on a sturdy bronze vase I bought from Sor Asdrubale; the bronze of the statue, hollow and eroded by rust (I’ve even seen some holes), doesn’t hold up very well, especially after a hit with the sharp hatchet. I’ve organized my papers for the benefit of the Government that sent me here. I regret having deprived them of their “History of Urbania.” To pass the endless day and ease my restless impatience, I just took a long walk. This is the coldest day we’ve had. The bright sun doesn’t warm anything at all, but seems only to make the cold feel sharper, making the snow on the mountains shine and the blue sky sparkle like steel. The few people out are bundled up to their noses and carry clay braziers under their cloaks; long icicles hang from the fountain with the statue of Mercury on it; I can almost picture the wolves moving down through the dry brush and surrounding this town. Somehow, this cold makes me feel wonderfully calm—it seems to bring back memories from my childhood.

As I walked up the rough, steep, paved alleys, slippery with frost, and with their vista of snow mountains against the sky, and passed by the church steps strewn with box and laurel, with the faint smell of incense coming out, there returned to me—I know not why—the recollection, almost the sensation, of those Christmas Eves long ago at Posen and Breslau, when I walked as a child along the wide streets, peeping into the windows where they were beginning to light the tapers of the Christmas-trees, and wondering whether I too, on returning home, should be let into a wonderful room all blazing with lights and gilded nuts and glass beads. They are hanging the last strings of those blue and red metallic beads, fastening on the last gilded and silvered walnuts on the trees out there at home in the North; they are lighting the blue and red tapers; the wax is beginning to run on to the beautiful spruce green branches; the children are waiting with beating hearts behind the door, to be told that the Christ-Child has been. And I, for what am I waiting? I don't know; all seems a dream; everything vague and unsubstantial about me, as if time had ceased, nothing could happen, my own desires and hopes were all dead, myself absorbed into I know not what passive dreamland. Do I long for tonight? Do I dread it? Will tonight ever come? Do I feel anything, does anything exist all round me?

As I walked up the rough, steep, paved alleys, slippery with frost, with a view of snow-capped mountains against the sky, and passed by the church steps covered with box and laurel, the faint smell of incense wafting out, I was suddenly hit by memories—almost a feeling—of those Christmas Eves long ago in Posen and Breslau. Back then, I would stroll as a child along the wide streets, peeking into windows where they were starting to light the candles on the Christmas trees, wondering if I too would be welcomed home into a magical room full of lights, gilded nuts, and glass beads. They are hanging the last strings of blue and red metallic beads, fastening the final gilded and silver walnuts on the trees back home in the North; they are lighting the blue and red candles; the wax is starting to drip onto the beautiful spruce green branches; the children are waiting with excited hearts behind the door, ready to hear that the Christ Child has come. And I, what am I waiting for? I don't know; everything feels like a dream; everything around me is vague and insubstantial, as if time has stopped, and nothing can happen, my own wishes and hopes have faded away, and I’m lost in some kind of passive dreamland. Am I looking forward to tonight? Am I afraid of it? Will tonight ever arrive? Do I feel anything, does anything exist around me?

I sit and seem to see that street at Posen, the wide street with the windows illuminated by the Christmas lights, the green fir-branches grazing the window-panes.

I sit and can almost see that street in Posen, the broad street with windows lit up by Christmas lights, the green fir branches brushing against the window panes.

Christmas Eve, Midnight.—

Christmas Eve, Midnight.

I have done it. I slipped out noiselessly. Sor Asdrubale and his sisters were fast asleep. I feared I had waked them, for my hatchet fell as I was passing through the principal room where my landlord keeps his curiosities for sale; it struck against some old armor which he has been piecing. I heard him exclaim, half in his sleep; and blew out my light and hid in the stairs. He came out in his dressing-gown, but finding no one, went back to bed again. "Some cat, no doubt!" he said. I closed the house door softly behind me. The sky had become stormy since the afternoon, luminous with the full moon, but strewn with grey and buff-colored vapors; every now and then the moon disappeared entirely. Not a creature abroad; the tall gaunt houses staring in the moonlight.

I’ve done it. I slipped out quietly. Sor Asdrubale and his sisters were sound asleep. I worried I’d woken them, as my hatchet fell while I was walking through the main room where my landlord displays his curiosities for sale; it hit some old armor he’s been working on. I heard him groan, half-asleep, so I blew out my light and hid on the stairs. He came out in his dressing gown, but when he found no one there, he went back to bed. “Just some cat, I guess!” he said. I gently closed the house door behind me. The sky had turned stormy since the afternoon, lit by the full moon but filled with gray and tan clouds; the moon would disappear completely every now and then. There wasn’t a soul around; the tall, thin houses loomed in the moonlight.

I know not why, I took a roundabout way to the Corte, past one or two church doors, whence issued the faint flicker of midnight mass. For a moment I felt a temptation to enter one of them; but something seemed to restrain me. I caught snatches of the Christmas hymn. I felt myself beginning to be unnerved, and hastened towards the Corte. As I passed under the portico at San Francesco I heard steps behind me; it seemed to me that I was followed. I stopped to let the other pass. As he approached his pace flagged; he passed close by me and murmured, "Do not go: I am Giovanfrancesco Pico." I turned round; he was gone. A coldness numbed me; but I hastened on.

I don't know why, but I took a roundabout route to the Corte, passing one or two church doors, where the faint glow of midnight mass was coming from. For a moment, I felt tempted to go inside one of them, but something held me back. I caught snippets of the Christmas hymn. I started to feel anxious and quickly made my way toward the Corte. As I walked under the portico at San Francesco, I heard footsteps behind me; it felt like someone was following me. I stopped to let the person pass. As he got closer, his pace slowed; he walked right by me and whispered, "Don't go: I am Giovanfrancesco Pico." I turned around, but he was gone. A wave of coldness washed over me, but I hurried on.

Behind the cathedral apse, in a narrow lane, I saw a man leaning against a wall. The moonlight was full upon him; it seemed to me that his face, with a thin pointed beard, was streaming with blood. I quickened my pace; but as I grazed by him he whispered, "Do not obey her; return home: I am Marcantonio Frangipani." My teeth chattered, but I hurried along the narrow lane, with the moonlight blue upon the white walls. At last I saw the Corte before me: the square was flooded with moonlight, the windows of the palace seemed brightly illuminated, and the statue of Duke Robert, shimmering green, seemed advancing towards me on its horse. I came into the shadow. I had to pass beneath an archway. There started a figure as if out of the wall, and barred my passage with his outstretched cloaked arm. I tried to pass. He seized me by the arm, and his grasp was like a weight of ice. "You shall not pass!" he cried, and, as the moon came out once more, I saw his face, ghastly white and bound with an embroidered kerchief; he seemed almost a child. "You shall not pass!" he cried; "you shall not have her! She is mine, and mine alone! I am Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi." I felt his ice-cold clutch, but with my other arm I laid about me wildly with the hatchet which I carried beneath my cloak. The hatchet struck the wall and rang upon the stone. He had vanished.

Behind the cathedral apse, in a narrow alley, I saw a man leaning against a wall. The moonlight was shining directly on him; it seemed to me that his face, with a thin pointed beard, was covered in blood. I quickened my pace; but as I brushed past him he whispered, "Don't listen to her; go home: I am Marcantonio Frangipani." My teeth chattered, but I hurried along the narrow lane, with the moonlight casting a blue glow on the white walls. Finally, I saw the Corte ahead: the square was bathed in moonlight, the palace windows appeared brightly lit, and the statue of Duke Robert, glimmering green, seemed to be moving toward me on its horse. I stepped into the shadows. I had to pass under an archway. A figure suddenly emerged from the wall and blocked my way with his outstretched cloaked arm. I tried to get past. He grabbed my arm, and his grip felt like a weight of ice. "You can't pass!" he shouted, and as the moonlight returned, I saw his face, deathly pale and wrapped in an embroidered kerchief; he looked almost like a child. "You can't pass!" he shouted; "you can't have her! She is mine, and mine alone! I am Prinzivalle degli Ordelaffi." I felt his ice-cold grip, but with my other arm, I wildly swung the hatchet I was carrying under my cloak. The hatchet hit the wall and rang out against the stone. He had disappeared.

I hurried on. I did it. I cut open the bronze; I sawed it into a wider gash. I tore out the silver image, and hacked it into innumerable pieces. As I scattered the last fragments about, the moon was suddenly veiled; a great wind arose, howling down the square; it seemed to me that the earth shook. I threw down the hatchet and the saw, and fled home. I felt pursued, as if by the tramp of hundreds of invisible horsemen.

I rushed ahead. I did it. I cut through the bronze; I sawed it into a wider slit. I yanked out the silver figure and smashed it into countless pieces. As I tossed the last bits around, the moon suddenly went dark; a strong wind picked up, howling through the square; it felt like the ground shook. I dropped the hatchet and the saw and ran home. I felt like I was being chased, as if by the thundering steps of hundreds of unseen horsemen.

Now I am calm. It is midnight; another moment and she will be here! Patience, my heart! I hear it beating loud. I trust that no one will accuse poor Sor Asdrubale. I will write a letter to the authorities to declare his innocence should anything happen…. One! the clock in the palace tower has just struck…. "I hereby certify that, should anything happen this night to me, Spiridion Trepka, no one but myself is to be held…" A step on the staircase! It is she! it is she! At last, Medea, Medea! Ah! AMOUR DURE—DURE AMOUR!

Now I’m at peace. It’s midnight; any moment now she’ll be here! Stay strong, my heart! I can hear it pounding. I hope no one blames poor Sor Asdrubale. I’ll write a letter to the authorities to declare his innocence if anything happens… One! The clock in the palace tower just struck… “I hereby certify that if anything happens to me tonight, Spiridion Trepka, I alone am responsible…” A step on the staircase! It’s her! It’s her! Finally, Medea, Medea! Ah! HARD LOVE—HARD LOVE!

* * * * *

Text not provided.

NOTE.—Here ends the diary of the late Spiridion Trepka The chief newspapers of the province of Umbria informed the public that, on Christmas morning of the year 1885, the bronze equestrian statue of Robert II. had been found grievously mutilated; and that Professor Spiridion Trepka of Posen, in the German Empire, had been discovered dead of a stab in the region of the heart, given by an unknown hand.

NOTE.—Here ends the diary of the late Spiridion Trepka. The major newspapers in the province of Umbria reported to the public that on Christmas morning in 1885, the bronze equestrian statue of Robert II had been found severely damaged; and that Professor Spiridion Trepka from Posen, in the German Empire, was found dead from a stab wound to the heart, inflicted by an unknown assailant.

Dionea

Dionaea

From the Letters of Doctor Alessandro De Rosis to the Lady Evelyn
Savelli, Princess of Sabina.

From the Letters of Doctor Alessandro De Rosis to Lady Evelyn
Savelli, Princess of Sabina.

Montemiro Ligure, June 29, 1873.

Montemiro Ligure, June 29, 1873.

I take immediate advantage of the generous offer of your Excellency (allow an old Republican who has held you on his knees to address you by that title sometimes, 'tis so appropriate) to help our poor people. I never expected to come a-begging so soon. For the olive crop has been unusually plenteous. We semi-Genoese don't pick the olives unripe, like our Tuscan neighbors, but let them grow big and black, when the young fellows go into the trees with long reeds and shake them down on the grass for the women to collect—a pretty sight which your Excellency must see some day: the grey trees with the brown, barefoot lads craning, balanced in the branches, and the turquoise sea as background just beneath…. That sea of ours—it is all along of it that I wish to ask for money. Looking up from my desk, I see the sea through the window, deep below and beyond the olive woods, bluish-green in the sunshine and veined with violet under the cloud-bars, like one of your Ravenna mosaics spread out as pavement for the world: a wicked sea, wicked in its loveliness, wickeder than your grey northern ones, and from which must have arisen in times gone by (when Phoenicians or Greeks built the temples at Lerici and Porto Venere) a baleful goddess of beauty, a Venus Verticordia, but in the bad sense of the word, overwhelming men's lives in sudden darkness like that squall of last week.

I’m taking full advantage of your generous offer, Your Excellency (allow an old Republican who has seen you as a mentor to address you by that title sometimes, as it fits so well) to help our struggling people. I never thought I’d be asking for help so soon. The olive harvest has been unusually plentiful. We semi-Genoese don't pick the olives while they're still green, like our Tuscan neighbors; instead, we let them grow large and black. The young guys go up into the trees with long sticks and shake them down onto the grass for the women to gather—a beautiful sight that Your Excellency must see someday: the grey trees with brown, barefoot boys balancing in the branches, and the turquoise sea as the backdrop just below…. That sea of ours—it's for this reason that I wish to ask for funds. Looking up from my desk, I see the sea through the window, far below and beyond the olive groves, bluish-green in the sunlight and streaked with violet under the clouds, like one of your Ravenna mosaics laid out as a floor for the world: a dangerous sea, dangerously beautiful, more so than your grey northern ones, and from which, long ago (when Phoenicians or Greeks built the temples at Lerici and Porto Venere), a treacherous goddess of beauty must have emerged, a Venus Verticordia, but in the worst way, overwhelming men’s lives in sudden darkness like that storm from last week.

To come to the point. I want you, dear Lady Evelyn, to promise me some money, a great deal of money, as much as would buy you a little mannish cloth frock—for the complete bringing-up, until years of discretion, of a young stranger whom the sea has laid upon our shore. Our people, kind as they are, are very poor, and overburdened with children; besides, they have got a certain repugnance for this poor little waif, cast up by that dreadful storm, and who is doubtless a heathen, for she had no little crosses or scapulars on, like proper Christian children. So, being unable to get any of our women to adopt the child, and having an old bachelor's terror of my housekeeper, I have bethought me of certain nuns, holy women, who teach little girls to say their prayers and make lace close by here; and of your dear Excellency to pay for the whole business.

To get straight to the point, I want you, dear Lady Evelyn, to promise me some money—a lot of money, enough to buy you a little boyish cloth dress—for the complete care, until she’s old enough to take care of herself, of a young girl the sea has brought to us. Our people, as kind as they are, are very poor and already have plenty of kids; plus, they have a certain aversion to this poor little orphan, washed ashore by that terrible storm, who is surely a heathen since she doesn’t have any little crosses or scapulars like proper Christian children. So, unable to get any of our women to take the child in, and having a bachelor’s dread of my housekeeper, I thought of some nuns—holy women—who teach little girls to pray and make lace nearby, and I would like you, your Excellency, to fund the entire undertaking.

Poor little brown mite! She was picked up after the storm (such a set-out of ship-models and votive candles as that storm must have brought the Madonna at Porto Venere!) on a strip of sand between the rocks of our castle: the thing was really miraculous, for this coast is like a shark's jaw, and the bits of sand are tiny and far between. She was lashed to a plank, swaddled up close in outlandish garments; and when they brought her to me they thought she must certainly be dead: a little girl of four or five, decidedly pretty, and as brown as a berry, who, when she came to, shook her head to show she understood no kind of Italian, and jabbered some half-intelligible Eastern jabber, a few Greek words embedded in I know not what; the Superior of the College De Propagandâ Fide would be puzzled to know. The child appears to be the only survivor from a ship which must have gone down in the great squall, and whose timbers have been strewing the bay for some days past; no one at Spezia or in any of our ports knows anything about her, but she was seen, apparently making for Porto Venere, by some of our sardine-fishers: a big, lumbering craft, with eyes painted on each side of the prow, which, as you know, is a peculiarity of Greek boats. She was sighted for the last time off the island of Palmaria, entering, with all sails spread, right into the thick of the storm-darkness. No bodies, strangely enough, have been washed ashore.

Poor little brown mite! She was found after the storm (what an array of ship models and votive candles that storm must have brought to the Madonna at Porto Venere!) on a strip of sand between the rocks of our castle: it was truly miraculous, since this coast is like a shark's jaw and the patches of sand are tiny and rare. She was tied to a plank, bundled up tightly in strange clothes; and when they brought her to me, they thought she must surely be dead: a little girl about four or five, definitely cute, and as brown as a berry, who, when she came to, shook her head to indicate she didn't understand any Italian and babbled some barely understandable Eastern language, with a few Greek words mixed in—who knows what else? The head of the College De Propagandâ Fide would be baffled. The child seems to be the only survivor from a ship that must have sunk in the fierce squall, and whose debris has been scattered in the bay for several days; no one in Spezia or any of our ports knows anything about her, but some of our sardine fishers saw her apparently heading toward Porto Venere: a large, clumsy vessel, with eyes painted on each side of the bow, which, as you know, is a characteristic of Greek boats. She was last seen off the island of Palmaria, sailing into the thick of the storm-darkness with all sails up. Strangely, no bodies have washed ashore.

July 10.

July 10.

I have received the money, dear Donna Evelina. There was tremendous excitement down at San Massimo when the carrier came in with a registered letter, and I was sent for, in presence of all the village authorities, to sign my name on the postal register.

I got the money, dear Donna Evelina. There was a lot of excitement at San Massimo when the courier arrived with a registered letter, and I was called in, in front of all the village officials, to sign my name on the postal register.

The child has already been settled some days with the nuns; such dear little nuns (nuns always go straight to the heart of an old priest-hater and conspirator against the Pope, you know), dressed in brown robes and close, white caps, with an immense round straw-hat flapping behind their heads like a nimbus: they are called Sisters of the Stigmata, and have a convent and school at San Massimo, a little way inland, with an untidy garden full of lavender and cherry-trees. Your protégée has already half set the convent, the village, the Episcopal See, the Order of St. Francis, by the ears. First, because nobody could make out whether or not she had been christened. The question was a grave one, for it appears (as your uncle-in-law, the Cardinal, will tell you) that it is almost equally undesirable to be christened twice over as not to be christened at all. The first danger was finally decided upon as the less terrible; but the child, they say, had evidently been baptized before, and knew that the operation ought not to be repeated, for she kicked and plunged and yelled like twenty little devils, and positively would not let the holy water touch her. The Mother Superior, who always took for granted that the baptism had taken place before, says that the child was quite right, and that Heaven was trying to prevent a sacrilege; but the priest and the barber's wife, who had to hold her, think the occurrence fearful, and suspect the little girl of being a Protestant. Then the question of the name. Pinned to her clothes—striped Eastern things, and that kind of crinkled silk stuff they weave in Crete and Cyprus—was a piece of parchment, a scapular we thought at first, but which was found to contain only the name Dionea—Dionea, as they pronounce it here. The question was, Could such a name be fitly borne by a young lady at the Convent of the Stigmata? Half the population here have names as unchristian quite—Norma, Odoacer, Archimedes—my housemaid is called Themis—but Dionea seemed to scandalize every one, perhaps because these good folk had a mysterious instinct that the name is derived from Dione, one of the loves of Father Zeus, and mother of no less a lady than the goddess Venus. The child was very near being called Maria, although there are already twenty-three other Marias, Mariettas, Mariuccias, and so forth at the convent. But the sister-bookkeeper, who apparently detests monotony, bethought her to look out Dionea first in the Calendar, which proved useless; and then in a big vellum-bound book, printed at Venice in 1625, called "Flos Sanctorum, or Lives of the Saints, by Father Ribadeneira, S.J., with the addition of such Saints as have no assigned place in the Almanack, otherwise called the Movable or Extravagant Saints." The zeal of Sister Anna Maddalena has been rewarded, for there, among the Extravagant Saints, sure enough, with a border of palm-branches and hour-glasses, stands the name of Saint Dionea, Virgin and Martyr, a lady of Antioch, put to death by the Emperor Decius. I know your Excellency's taste for historical information, so I forward this item. But I fear, dear Lady Evelyn, I fear that the heavenly patroness of your little sea-waif was a much more extravagant saint than that.

The child has already been living with the nuns for a few days; such lovely little nuns (nuns always warm the heart of an old priest-hater and conspirator against the Pope, you know), dressed in brown robes and white caps, with a huge round straw hat flapping behind their heads like a halo: they are called Sisters of the Stigmata and have a convent and school at San Massimo, a short distance inland, with a messy garden full of lavender and cherry trees. Your protégée has already stirred things up at the convent, the village, the Episcopal See, and the Order of St. Francis. First, because no one could figure out whether or not she had been baptized. This was a serious issue, because it seems (as your uncle-in-law, the Cardinal, would tell you) that being baptized twice is almost as undesirable as not being baptized at all. They eventually decided that the first danger was the lesser of the two evils; however, the child clearly had been baptized before and knew that the ceremony shouldn't be repeated, because she fought, kicked, and screamed like twenty little devils, refusing to let the holy water touch her. The Mother Superior, who assumed that the baptism had already happened, says the child was right and that Heaven was trying to prevent a sacrilege; but the priest and the barber's wife, who had to hold her, find the situation alarming and suspect the little girl of being a Protestant. Then came the question of the name. Attached to her clothes—striped Eastern garments and that crinkled silk fabric woven in Crete and Cyprus—was a piece of parchment, which we initially thought was a scapular but which turned out to contain only the name Dionea—Dionea, as they pronounce it here. The question was, could such a name be suitable for a young lady at the Convent of the Stigmata? Half the people here have equally un-Christian names—Norma, Odoacer, Archimedes—my housemaid is named Themis—but Dionea seemed to scandalize everyone, perhaps because these kind folks had an inexplicable sense that the name came from Dione, one of Father Zeus's loves, and mother to the goddess Venus. The child was very close to being named Maria, although there are already twenty-three other Marias, Mariettas, Mariuccias, and so on at the convent. But the sister-bookkeeper, who apparently dislikes monotony, decided to look up Dionea first in the Calendar, which was fruitless; then in a large vellum-bound book, printed in Venice in 1625, titled "Flos Sanctorum, or Lives of the Saints, by Father Ribadeneira, S.J., including such Saints without a designated place in the Almanack, also known as the Movable or Extravagant Saints." Sister Anna Maddalena's enthusiasm paid off, because there it was, among the Extravagant Saints, sure enough, with a border of palm branches and hourglasses, the name of Saint Dionea, Virgin and Martyr, a lady from Antioch who was killed by Emperor Decius. I know your Excellency enjoys historical tidbits, so I'm sharing this. But I fear, dear Lady Evelyn, I fear that the heavenly patroness of your little sea waif was a much more extravagant saint than that.

December 21, 1879.

December 21, 1879.

Many thanks, dear Donna Evelina, for the money for Dionea's schooling. Indeed, it was not wanted yet: the accomplishments of young ladies are taught at a very moderate rate at Montemirto: and as to clothes, which you mention, a pair of wooden clogs, with pretty red tips, costs sixty-five centimes, and ought to last three years, if the owner is careful to carry them on her head in a neat parcel when out walking, and to put them on again only on entering the village. The Mother Superior is greatly overcome by your Excellency's munificence towards the convent, and much perturbed at being unable to send you a specimen of your protégée's skill, exemplified in an embroidered pocket-handkerchief or a pair of mittens; but the fact is that poor Dionea has no skill. "We will pray to the Madonna and St. Francis to make her more worthy," remarked the Superior. Perhaps, however, your Excellency, who is, I fear but a Pagan woman (for all the Savelli Popes and St. Andrew Savelli's miracles), and insufficiently appreciative of embroidered pocket-handkerchiefs, will be quite as satisfied to hear that Dionea, instead of skill, has got the prettiest face of any little girl in Montemirto. She is tall, for her age (she is eleven) quite wonderfully well proportioned and extremely strong: of all the convent-full, she is the only one for whom I have never been called in. The features are very regular, the hair black, and despite all the good Sisters' efforts to keep it smooth like a Chinaman's, beautifully curly. I am glad she should be pretty, for she will more easily find a husband; and also because it seems fitting that your protégée should be beautiful. Unfortunately her character is not so satisfactory: she hates learning, sewing, washing up the dishes, all equally. I am sorry to say she shows no natural piety. Her companions detest her, and the nuns, although they admit that she is not exactly naughty, seem to feel her as a dreadful thorn in the flesh. She spends hours and hours on the terrace overlooking the sea (her great desire, she confided to me, is to get to the sea—to get back to the sea, as she expressed it), and lying in the garden, under the big myrtle-bushes, and, in spring and summer, under the rose-hedge. The nuns say that rose-hedge and that myrtle-bush are growing a great deal too big, one would think from Dionea's lying under them; the fact, I suppose, has drawn attention to them. "That child makes all the useless weeds grow," remarked Sister Reparata. Another of Dionea's amusements is playing with pigeons. The number of pigeons she collects about her is quite amazing; you would never have thought that San Massimo or the neighboring hills contained as many. They flutter down like snowflakes, and strut and swell themselves out, and furl and unfurl their tails, and peck with little sharp movements of their silly, sensual heads and a little throb and gurgle in their throats, while Dionea lies stretched out full length in the sun, putting out her lips, which they come to kiss, and uttering strange, cooing sounds; or hopping about, flapping her arms slowly like wings, and raising her little head with much the same odd gesture as they;—'tis a lovely sight, a thing fit for one of your painters, Burne Jones or Tadema, with the myrtle-bushes all round, the bright, white-washed convent walls behind, the white marble chapel steps (all steps are marble in this Carrara country) and the enamel blue sea through the ilex-branches beyond. But the good Sisters abominate these pigeons, who, it appears, are messy little creatures, and they complain that, were it not that the Reverend Director likes a pigeon in his pot on a holiday, they could not stand the bother of perpetually sweeping the chapel steps and the kitchen threshold all along of those dirty birds….

Many thanks, dear Donna Evelina, for the money for Dionea's schooling. Actually, it wasn't needed yet: the skills for young ladies are taught at a quite reasonable rate at Montemirto. As for the clothes you mentioned, a pair of wooden clogs with pretty red tips costs sixty-five centimes and should last three years if the owner is careful to carry them on her head in a neat bundle when out walking and only puts them on when entering the village. The Mother Superior is deeply moved by your generosity towards the convent and is troubled that she can't send you a sample of your protégée's talent, like an embroidered handkerchief or a pair of mittens; but the truth is that poor Dionea lacks talent. "We will pray to the Madonna and St. Francis to make her more deserving," the Superior remarked. However, your Excellency, who I fear is just a Pagan woman (despite all the Savelli Popes and St. Andrew Savelli's miracles) and perhaps doesn't fully appreciate embroidered handkerchiefs, might be just as happy to hear that Dionea, instead of talent, has the prettiest face of any little girl in Montemirto. She is tall for her age (she is eleven), wonderfully well-proportioned, and extremely strong: of all the girls in the convent, she is the only one for whom I've never had to be called in. Her features are very regular, her hair is black, and despite all the good Sisters' efforts to keep it straight like a Chinese girl's, it’s beautifully curly. I'm glad she's pretty, as it should help her find a husband more easily; and also because it seems right that your protégée should be lovely. Unfortunately, her character isn't as great: she equally hates learning, sewing, and washing the dishes. I'm sorry to say she doesn't show any natural piety. Her companions dislike her, and the nuns, although they admit she's not exactly naughty, seem to find her a terrible thorn in their side. She spends hours on the terrace overlooking the sea (her greatest wish, as she confided to me, is to get to the sea—to get back to the sea, as she put it), lying in the garden under the big myrtle bushes, and in spring and summer, under the rose hedge. The nuns say that the rose hedge and the myrtle bush are growing far too large, which you would think was due to Dionea lying underneath them; I suppose that's attracted attention to them. "That child makes all the useless weeds grow," remarked Sister Reparata. Another of Dionea's pastimes is playing with pigeons. The number of pigeons that flock to her is quite astonishing; you would never guess that San Massimo or the nearby hills had so many. They flutter down like snowflakes, strut and puff themselves up, open and close their tails, and peck with quick little movements of their silly, sensual heads, accompanied by a little throb and gurgle in their throats, while Dionea lies stretched out under the sun, pursing her lips for them to kiss and making strange, cooing sounds; or she hops around, flapping her arms slowly like wings, raising her little head in a way that resembles them;—it's a beautiful sight, something fit for one of your painters, Burne Jones or Tadema, with the myrtle bushes all around, the bright, whitewashed convent walls behind, the white marble chapel steps (all steps are marble in this Carrara region), and the bright blue sea visible through the ilex branches in the background. But the good Sisters dislike these pigeons, who, it seems, are messy little creatures, and they complain that if it weren't for the Reverend Director wanting a pigeon in his pot on holidays, they couldn't bear the hassle of constantly sweeping the chapel steps and the kitchen threshold because of those dirty birds….

August 6, 1882.

August 6, 1882.

Do not tempt me, dearest Excellency, with your invitations to Rome. I should not be happy there, and do but little honor to your friendship. My many years of exile, of wanderings in northern countries, have made me a little bit into a northern man: I cannot quite get on with my own fellow-countrymen, except with the good peasants and fishermen all round. Besides—forgive the vanity of an old man, who has learned to make triple acrostic sonnets to cheat the days and months at Theresienstadt and Spielberg—I have suffered too much for Italy to endure patiently the sight of little parliamentary cabals and municipal wranglings, although they also are necessary in this day as conspiracies and battles were in mine. I am not fit for your roomful of ministers and learned men and pretty women: the former would think me an ignoramus, and the latter—what would afflict me much more—a pedant…. Rather, if your Excellency really wants to show yourself and your children to your father's old protégé of Mazzinian times, find a few days to come here next spring. You shall have some very bare rooms with brick floors and white curtains opening out on my terrace; and a dinner of all manner of fish and milk (the white garlic flowers shall be mown away from under the olives lest my cow should eat it) and eggs cooked in herbs plucked in the hedges. Your boys can go and see the big ironclads at Spezia; and you shall come with me up our lanes fringed with delicate ferns and overhung by big olives, and into the fields where the cherry-trees shed their blossoms on to the budding vines, the fig-trees stretching out their little green gloves, where the goats nibble perched on their hind legs, and the cows low in the huts of reeds; and there rise from the ravines, with the gurgle of the brooks, from the cliffs with the boom of the surf, the voices of unseen boys and girls, singing about love and flowers and death, just as in the days of Theocritus, whom your learned Excellency does well to read. Has your Excellency ever read Longus, a Greek pastoral novelist? He is a trifle free, a trifle nude for us readers of Zola; but the old French of Amyot has a wonderful charm, and he gives one an idea, as no one else does, how folk lived in such valleys, by such sea-boards, as these in the days when daisy-chains and garlands of roses were still hung on the olive-trees for the nymphs of the grove; when across the bay, at the end of the narrow neck of blue sea, there clung to the marble rocks not a church of Saint Laurence, with the sculptured martyr on his gridiron, but the temple of Venus, protecting her harbor…. Yes, dear Lady Evelyn, you have guessed aright. Your old friend has returned to his sins, and is scribbling once more. But no longer at verses or political pamphlets. I am enthralled by a tragic history, the history of the fall of the Pagan Gods…. Have you ever read of their wanderings and disguises, in my friend Heine's little book?

Do not tempt me, dear Excellency, with your invitations to Rome. I wouldn’t be happy there and wouldn’t do justice to your friendship. My many years of living in exile and wandering in northern countries have made me somewhat of a northern man: I can't quite connect with my fellow countrymen, except for the good farmers and fishermen around. Besides—please excuse the vanity of an old man, who has learned to write triple acrostic sonnets to pass the time at Theresienstadt and Spielberg—I have suffered too much for Italy to endure patiently the sight of petty political cabals and local disputes, although they're just as necessary today as conspiracies and battles were in my time. I’m not suited for your room full of ministers, scholars, and pretty women: the former would see me as an ignoramus, and the latter—what would pain me even more—a pedant…. Instead, if you really want to show yourself and your children to your father's old protégé from Mazzinian times, take a few days to come here next spring. You’ll have some very simple rooms with brick floors and white curtains opening out onto my terrace; and a dinner of various fish and milk (I’ll make sure to cut away the white garlic flowers under the olives so my cow won't eat them) and eggs cooked with herbs gathered from the hedges. Your boys can go see the big ironclads at Spezia; and you can walk with me along our lanes lined with delicate ferns and shaded by big olive trees, into the fields where the cherry trees drop their blossoms onto the budding vines, the fig trees stretching out their little green tips, where the goats nibble while perched on their hind legs, and the cows low in the huts made of reeds; and from the ravines, accompanied by the sound of the brooks, and from the cliffs with the crash of the surf, you hear the voices of unseen boys and girls singing about love, flowers, and death, just as in the days of Theocritus, whom your learned Excellency rightly reads. Has your Excellency ever read Longus, the Greek pastoral novelist? He’s a bit risqué, a bit explicit for us readers of Zola; but the old French of Amyot has a wonderful charm, and he gives us a sense, like no one else, of how people lived in such valleys, by such coastlines, in the times when daisy chains and garlands of roses were still hung on olive trees for the nymphs of the grove; when across the bay, at the end of the narrow stretch of blue sea, there clung to the marble rocks not a church of Saint Laurence, with the sculpted martyr on his gridiron, but the temple of Venus, protecting her harbor…. Yes, dear Lady Evelyn, you’ve guessed correctly. Your old friend has returned to his sins and is writing once more. But no longer verses or political pamphlets. I’m captivated by a tragic history, the story of the fall of the Pagan Gods…. Have you ever read about their wanderings and disguises in my friend Heine's little book?

And if you come to Montemirto, you shall see also your protégée, of whom you ask for news. It has just missed being disastrous. Poor Dionea! I fear that early voyage tied to the spar did no good to her wits, poor little waif! There has been a fearful row; and it has required all my influence, and all the awfulness of your Excellency's name, and the Papacy, and the Holy Roman Empire, to prevent her expulsion by the Sisters of the Stigmata. It appears that this mad creature very nearly committed a sacrilege: she was discovered handling in a suspicious manner the Madonna's gala frock and her best veil of pizzo di Cantù, a gift of the late Marchioness Violante Vigalcila of Fornovo. One of the orphans, Zaira Barsanti, whom they call the Rossaccia, even pretends to have surprised Dionea as she was about to adorn her wicked little person with these sacred garments; and, on another occasion, when Dionea had been sent to pass some oil and sawdust over the chapel floor (it was the eve of Easter of the Roses), to have discovered her seated on the edge of the altar, in the very place of the Most Holy Sacrament. I was sent for in hot haste, and had to assist at an ecclesiastical council in the convent parlor, where Dionea appeared, rather out of place, an amazing little beauty, dark, lithe, with an odd, ferocious gleam in her eyes, and a still odder smile, tortuous, serpentine, like that of Leonardo da Vinci's women, among the plaster images of St. Francis, and the glazed and framed samplers before the little statue of the Virgin, which wears in summer a kind of mosquito-curtain to guard it from the flies, who, as you know, are creatures of Satan.

And if you come to Montemirto, you’ll also see your protégée, about whom you’ve been asking for updates. It almost turned into a disaster. Poor Dionea! I’m afraid that early trip tied to the spar didn’t do her mind any favors, poor little soul! There’s been a huge uproar; and it took all my influence, along with the weight of your Excellency’s name, the Papacy, and the Holy Roman Empire, to keep her from being thrown out by the Sisters of the Stigmata. It seems this wild girl nearly committed sacrilege: she was found suspiciously handling the Madonna's fancy dress and her best veil of pizzo di Cantù, a gift from the late Marchioness Violante Vigalcila of Fornovo. One of the orphans, Zaira Barsanti, who they call the Rossaccia, even claims to have caught Dionea just as she was about to put on those sacred garments; and on another occasion, when Dionea was sent to spread some oil and sawdust on the chapel floor (it was the eve of Easter of the Roses), she was discovered sitting on the edge of the altar, right where the Most Holy Sacrament sits. I was called in a panic, and I had to attend an ecclesiastical council in the convent parlor, where Dionea stood out, a stunning little beauty, dark, slender, with a strange, fierce gleam in her eyes, and an even odder, twisting smile, serpentine, like those women in Leonardo da Vinci’s works, among the plaster images of St. Francis, and the glazed and framed samplers in front of the little statue of the Virgin, which wears a kind of mosquito-net in the summer to keep away the flies, who, as you know, are minions of Satan.

Speaking of Satan, does your Excellency know that on the inside of our little convent door, just above the little perforated plate of metal (like the rose of a watering-pot) through which the Sister-portress peeps and talks, is pasted a printed form, an arrangement of holy names and texts in triangles, and the stigmatized hands of St. Francis, and a variety of other devices, for the purpose, as is explained in a special notice, of baffling the Evil One, and preventing his entrance into that building? Had you seen Dionea, and the stolid, contemptuous way in which she took, without attempting to refute, the various shocking allegations against her, your Excellency would have reflected, as I did, that the door in question must have been accidentally absent from the premises, perhaps at the joiner's for repair, the day that your protégée first penetrated into the convent. The ecclesiastical tribunal, consisting of the Mother Superior, three Sisters, the Capuchin Director, and your humble servant (who vainly attempted to be Devil's advocate), sentenced Dionea, among other things, to make the sign of the cross twenty-six times on the bare floor with her tongue. Poor little child! One might almost expect that, as happened when Dame Venus scratched her hand on the thorn-bush, red roses should sprout up between the fissures of the dirty old bricks.

Speaking of Satan, does your Excellency know that on the inside of our little convent door, just above the small perforated metal plate (like the spout of a watering can) through which the Sister-portress peeks and talks, is a printed form? It features an arrangement of holy names and texts in triangles, the stigmatized hands of St. Francis, and a variety of other designs meant, as explained in a special notice, to thwart the Evil One and prevent his entry into that building? Had you seen Dionea and the stony, contemptuous way she accepted the various shocking allegations against her without trying to refute them, your Excellency would have thought, as I did, that the door in question must have been missing from the premises, maybe at the carpenter’s for repairs, the day your protégée first entered the convent. The ecclesiastical tribunal, made up of the Mother Superior, three Sisters, the Capuchin Director, and your humble servant (who failed in my attempt to be Devil's advocate), sentenced Dionea, among other things, to make the sign of the cross twenty-six times on the bare floor with her tongue. Poor little child! One might almost expect that, just like when Dame Venus scratched her hand on a thorn-bush, red roses should sprout between the cracks of the dirty old bricks.

October 14, 1883.

October 14, 1883.

You ask whether, now that the Sisters let Dionea go and do half a day's service now and then in the village, and that Dionea is a grown-up creature, she does not set the place by the ears with her beauty. The people here are quite aware of its existence. She is already dubbed La bella Dionea; but that does not bring her any nearer getting a husband, although your Excellency's generous offer of a wedding-portion is well known throughout the district of San Massimo and Montemirto. None of our boys, peasants or fishermen, seem to hang on her steps; and if they turn round to stare and whisper as she goes by straight and dainty in her wooden clogs, with the pitcher of water or the basket of linen on her beautiful crisp dark head, it is, I remark, with an expression rather of fear than of love. The women, on their side, make horns with their fingers as she passes, and as they sit by her side in the convent chapel; but that seems natural. My housekeeper tells me that down in the village she is regarded as possessing the evil eye and bringing love misery. "You mean," I said, "that a glance from her is too much for our lads' peace of mind." Veneranda shook her head, and explained, with the deference and contempt with which she always mentions any of her country-folk's superstitions to me, that the matter is different: it's not with her they are in love (they would be afraid of her eye), but where-ever she goes the young people must needs fall in love with each other, and usually where it is far from desirable. "You know Sora Luisa, the blacksmith's widow? Well, Dionea did a half-service for her last month, to prepare for the wedding of Luisa's daughter. Well, now, the girl must say, forsooth! that she won't have Pieriho of Lerici any longer, but will have that raggamuffin Wooden Pipe from Solaro, or go into a convent. And the girl changed her mind the very day that Dionea had come into the house. Then there is the wife of Pippo, the coffee-house keeper; they say she is carrying on with one of the coastguards, and Dionea helped her to do her washing six weeks ago. The son of Sor Temistocle has just cut off a finger to avoid the conscription, because he is mad about his cousin and afraid of being taken for a soldier; and it is a fact that some of the shirts which were made for him at the Stigmata had been sewn by Dionea;" … and thus a perfect string of love misfortunes, enough to make a little "Decameron," I assure you, and all laid to Dionea's account. Certain it is that the people of San Massimo are terribly afraid of Dionea….

You’re asking if, now that the Sisters have let Dionea go and she does a little bit of work in the village every now and then, and since Dionea is all grown up, her beauty doesn’t cause a stir around here. The locals definitely know about it. She’s already been nicknamed La bella Dionea; however, that hasn’t brought her any closer to finding a husband, despite your Excellency's generous wedding gift offer being well known throughout the San Massimo and Montemirto area. None of the local boys, whether they’re peasants or fishermen, seem to follow her around; and even when they take a moment to stare and whisper as she walks by, looking elegant in her wooden clogs with a pitcher of water or a basket of laundry perched on her beautiful, neatly styled dark hair, I can't help but notice their expression seems more fearful than loving. The women, on the other hand, make horn signs with their fingers as she walks by and when they sit next to her in the convent chapel, but that feels typical. My housekeeper mentioned that in the village she’s considered to have the evil eye and to bring bad luck in love. “So, you mean,” I said, “that a glance from her is too much for our boys to handle.” Veneranda shook her head and explained, with the respect and scorn she always shows when discussing her fellow villagers' superstitions with me, that it’s more complicated: it’s not that they’re in love with her (they would fear her eye), but wherever she goes, young people inevitably fall in love with each other, often in undesirable situations. “You know Sora Luisa, the blacksmith's widow? Well, Dionea did a half-service for her last month to help get ready for Luisa’s daughter’s wedding. And now, the girl insists she won’t marry Pieriho from Lerici anymore, but wants that raggedy Wooden Pipe from Solaro instead, or she’ll join a convent. And she changed her mind the very day Dionea showed up at her house. Then there’s Pippo’s wife from the coffee shop; they say she’s involved with one of the coastguards, and Dionea helped her with her laundry six weeks ago. Sor Temistocle's son just cut off a finger to dodge the draft because he’s crazy about his cousin and scared of being sent to fight; and it’s true that some of the shirts made for him at the Stigmata were sewn by Dionea.” … thus a perfect series of love disasters, enough for a little "Decameron," I assure you, all blamed on Dionea. One thing’s for sure: the people of San Massimo are really afraid of Dionea...

July 17, 1884.

July 17, 1884.

Dionea's strange influence seems to be extending in a terrible way. I am almost beginning to think that our folk are correct in their fear of the young witch. I used to think, as physician to a convent, that nothing was more erroneous than all the romancings of Diderot and Schubert (your Excellency sang me his "Young Nun" once: do you recollect, just before your marriage?), and that no more humdrum creature existed than one of our little nuns, with their pink baby faces under their tight white caps. It appeared the romancing was more correct than the prose. Unknown things have sprung up in these good Sisters' hearts, as unknown flowers have sprung up among the myrtle-bushes and the rose-hedge which Dionea lies under. Did I ever mention to you a certain little Sister Giuliana, who professed only two years ago?—a funny rose and white little creature presiding over the infirmary, as prosaic a little saint as ever kissed a crucifix or scoured a saucepan. Well, Sister Giuliana has disappeared, and the same day has disappeared also a sailor-boy from the port.

Dionea's strange influence seems to be spreading in a really concerning way. I'm almost starting to think that our people are right to be afraid of the young witch. I used to believe, as a doctor in a convent, that nothing was more mistaken than all the tales from Diderot and Schubert (your Excellency sang me his "Young Nun" once: remember, just before your marriage?), and that no one was more ordinary than our little nuns, with their pink baby faces peeking out from their tight white caps. It turns out the tales might be more accurate than the straightforward accounts. Unfamiliar feelings have surfaced in these good Sisters' hearts, just like unknown flowers blossoming among the myrtle bushes and the rose hedge where Dionea lies. Did I ever mention a certain little Sister Giuliana, who joined us only two years ago?—a funny little rose and white creature in charge of the infirmary, as ordinary a little saint as ever kissed a crucifix or scrubbed a pot. Well, Sister Giuliana has vanished, and on the same day, a sailor boy from the port has also gone missing.

August 20, 1884.

August 20, 1884.

The case of Sister Giuliana seems to have been but the beginning of an extraordinary love epidemic at the Convent of the Stigmata: the elder schoolgirls have to be kept under lock and key lest they should talk over the wall in the moonlight, or steal out to the little hunchback who writes love-letters at a penny a-piece, beautiful flourishes and all, under the portico by the Fishmarket. I wonder does that wicked little Dionea, whom no one pays court to, smile (her lips like a Cupid's bow or a tiny snake's curves) as she calls the pigeons down around her, or lies fondling the cats under the myrtle-bush, when she sees the pupils going about with swollen, red eyes; the poor little nuns taking fresh penances on the cold chapel flags; and hears the long-drawn guttural vowels, amore and morte and mio bene, which rise up of an evening, with the boom of the surf and the scent of the lemon-flowers, as the young men wander up and down, arm-in-arm, twanging their guitars along the moonlit lanes under the olives?

The situation with Sister Giuliana seems to be just the start of an unusual love craze at the Convent of the Stigmata: the older schoolgirls have to be locked up to prevent them from talking over the wall at night or sneaking out to meet the little hunchback who writes love letters for a penny each, complete with beautiful flourishes, under the portico by the Fishmarket. I wonder if that mischievous little Dionea, who has no admirers, smiles (her lips like a Cupid's bow or the curves of a tiny snake) as she calls the pigeons around her, or cuddles the cats under the myrtle bush, when she sees the students walking around with swollen, red eyes; the poor little nuns taking on fresh penances on the cold chapel floor; and hears the drawn-out guttural sounds, amore and morte and mio bene, rising in the evening along with the crashing waves and the scent of lemon flowers, as the young men stroll up and down, arm-in-arm, strumming their guitars in the moonlit paths beneath the olive trees?

October 20, 1885.

October 20, 1885.

A terrible, terrible thing has happened! I write to your Excellency with hands all a-tremble; and yet I must write, I must speak, or else I shall cry out. Did I ever mention to you Father Domenico of Casoria, the confessor of our Convent of the Stigmata? A young man, tall, emaciated with fasts and vigils, but handsome like the monk playing the virginal in Giorgione's "Concert," and under his brown serge still the most stalwart fellow of the country all round? One has heard of men struggling with the tempter. Well, well, Father Domenico had struggled as hard as any of the Anchorites recorded by St. Jerome, and he had conquered. I never knew anything comparable to the angelic serenity of gentleness of this victorious soul. I don't like monks, but I loved Father Domenico. I might have been his father, easily, yet I always felt a certain shyness and awe of him; and yet men have accounted me a clean-lived man in my generation; but I felt, whenever I approached him, a poor worldly creature, debased by the knowledge of so many mean and ugly things. Of late Father Domenico had seemed to me less calm than usual: his eyes had grown strangely bright, and red spots had formed on his salient cheekbones. One day last week, taking his hand, I felt his pulse flutter, and all his strength as it were, liquefy under my touch. "You are ill," I said. "You have fever, Father Domenico. You have been overdoing yourself—some new privation, some new penance. Take care and do not tempt Heaven; remember the flesh is weak." Father Domenico withdrew his hand quickly. "Do not say that," he cried; "the flesh is strong!" and turned away his face. His eyes were glistening and he shook all over. "Some quinine," I ordered. But I felt it was no case for quinine. Prayers might be more useful, and could I have given them he should not have wanted. Last night I was suddenly sent for to Father Domenico's monastery above Montemirto: they told me he was ill. I ran up through the dim twilight of moonbeams and olives with a sinking heart. Something told me my monk was dead. He was lying in a little low whitewashed room; they had carried him there from his own cell in hopes he might still be alive. The windows were wide open; they framed some olive-branches, glistening in the moonlight, and far below, a strip of moonlit sea. When I told them that he was really dead, they brought some tapers and lit them at his head and feet, and placed a crucifix between his hands. "The Lord has been pleased to call our poor brother to Him," said the Superior. "A case of apoplexy, my dear Doctor—a case of apoplexy. You will make out the certificate for the authorities." I made out the certificate. It was weak of me. But, after all, why make a scandal? He certainly had no wish to injure the poor monks.

A terrible, terrible thing has happened! I'm writing to you, Your Excellency, with trembling hands; but I *must* write, I must speak, or I’ll just break down. Did I ever tell you about Father Domenico of Casoria, the confessor from our Convent of the Stigmata? A young man, tall, thin from fasting and vigils, but handsome like the monk playing the piano in Giorgione's "Concert," and under his brown robe, still the strongest guy around? People talk about men battling temptation. Well, Father Domenico fought as hard as any of the Anchorites mentioned by St. Jerome, and he triumphed. I’ve never seen anything like the angelic serenity and gentleness of this victorious soul. I’m not a fan of monks, but I loved Father Domenico. I could have been his father, yet I always felt a certain shyness and respect around him; and even though people considered me a clean-living man in my time, whenever I was near him, I felt like a lowly worldly person, tainted by the knowledge of so many mean and ugly things. Recently, Father Domenico seemed less calm than usual: his eyes had grown unusually bright, and red spots had appeared on his prominent cheekbones. One day last week, when I took his hand, I felt his pulse flutter and his strength seemed to drain away under my touch. "You’re ill," I said. "You have a fever, Father Domenico. You’ve been pushing yourself—some new deprivation or penance. Be careful and don’t tempt Heaven; remember the flesh is weak." Father Domenico quickly withdrew his hand. "Don’t say that," he exclaimed; "the flesh is strong!" and turned his face away. His eyes were shining, and he was trembling all over. "Get some quinine," I ordered. But I felt it wasn’t a case for quinine. Prayers might be more helpful, and if I could have given them, he wouldn’t have needed anything else. Last night, I was suddenly called to Father Domenico's monastery above Montemirto: they told me he was ill. I hurried up through the dim twilight of moonlight and olive trees with a heavy heart. Something told me my monk had died. He was lying in a small, low whitewashed room; they had carried him there from his cell in hopes he might still be alive. The windows were wide open; they framed some olive branches glistening in the moonlight and, far below, a strip of moonlit sea. When I confirmed that he was really dead, they brought some candles and lit them at his head and feet, placing a crucifix between his hands. "The Lord has chosen to call our poor brother to Him," said the Superior. "A case of apoplexy, my dear Doctor—a case of apoplexy. You will prepare the certificate for the authorities." I prepared the certificate. It was weak of me. But still, why cause a scandal? He certainly didn’t want to hurt the poor monks.

Next day I found the little nuns all in tears. They were gathering flowers to send as a last gift to their confessor. In the convent garden I found Dionea, standing by the side of a big basket of roses, one of the white pigeons perched on her shoulder.

Next day, I found the little nuns all in tears. They were gathering flowers to send as a final gift to their confessor. In the convent garden, I found Dionea, standing next to a large basket of roses, one of the white pigeons sitting on her shoulder.

"So," she said, "he has killed himself with charcoal, poor Padre
Domenico!"

"So," she said, "he has taken his own life with charcoal, poor Padre
Domenico!"

Something in her tone, her eyes, shocked me.

Something in her tone, her eyes, surprised me.

"God has called to Himself one of His most faithful servants," I said gravely.

"God has called one of His most devoted servants to Him," I said seriously.

Standing opposite this girl, magnificent, radiant in her beauty, before the rose-hedge, with the white pigeons furling and unfurling, strutting and pecking all round, I seemed to see suddenly the whitewashed room of last night, the big crucifix, that poor thin face under the yellow waxlight. I felt glad for Father Domenico; his battle was over.

Standing in front of this girl, stunning and glowing with beauty, by the rose hedge, while the white pigeons fluffed up and pecked around, I suddenly remembered the whitewashed room from last night, the large crucifix, that poor thin face illuminated by the yellow candlelight. I felt happy for Father Domenico; his struggle was over.

"Take this to Father Domenico from me," said Dionea, breaking off a twig of myrtle starred over with white blossom; and raising her head with that smile like the twist of a young snake, she sang out in a high guttural voice a strange chant, consisting of the word Amor—amor—amor. I took the branch of myrtle and threw it in her face.

"Give this to Father Domenico for me," Dionea said, snapping off a twig of myrtle adorned with white blossoms. She lifted her head, flashing a smile that reminded me of a young snake, and belted out a peculiar chant in a high, raspy voice, repeating the word Amor—amor—amor. I took the myrtle branch and tossed it at her.

January 3, 1886

January 3, 1886

It will be difficult to find a place for Dionea, and in this neighborhood well-nigh impossible. The people associate her somehow with the death of Father Domenico, which has confirmed her reputation of having the evil eye. She left the convent (being now seventeen) some two months back, and is at present gaining her bread working with the masons at our notary's new house at Lerici: the work is hard, but our women often do it, and it is magnificent to see Dionea, in her short white skirt and tight white bodice, mixing the smoking lime with her beautiful strong arms; or, an empty sack drawn over her head and shoulders, walking majestically up the cliff, up the scaffoldings with her load of bricks…. I am, however, very anxious to get Dionea out of the neighborhood, because I cannot help dreading the annoyances to which her reputation for the evil eye exposes her, and even some explosion of rage if ever she should lose the indifferent contempt with which she treats them. I hear that one of the rich men of our part of the world, a certain Sor Agostino of Sarzana, who owns a whole flank of marble mountain, is looking out for a maid for his daughter, who is about to be married; kind people and patriarchal in their riches, the old man still sitting down to table with all his servants; and his nephew, who is going to be his son-in-law, a splendid young fellow, who has worked like Jacob, in the quarry and at the saw-mill, for love of his pretty cousin. That whole house is so good, simple, and peaceful, that I hope it may tame down even Dionea. If I do not succeed in getting Dionea this place (and all your Excellency's illustriousness and all my poor eloquence will be needed to counteract the sinister reports attaching to our poor little waif), it will be best to accept your suggestion of taking the girl into your household at Rome, since you are curious to see what you call our baleful beauty. I am amused, and a little indignant at what you say about your footmen being handsome: Don Juan himself, my dear Lady Evelyn, would be cowed by Dionea….

It will be tough to find a place for Dionea, and in this neighborhood, nearly impossible. People somehow link her to Father Domenico's death, which has only reinforced her reputation for having the evil eye. She left the convent (now seventeen) about two months ago and is currently earning her living working with the masons at our notary's new house in Lerici. The work is hard, but our women often do it, and it's impressive to see Dionea in her short white skirt and fitted white top, mixing the steaming lime with her beautiful strong arms; or with an empty sack draped over her head and shoulders, gracefully climbing the cliff and scaffolding with her load of bricks…. However, I’m very worried about getting Dionea out of the neighborhood because I can’t shake the fear of the harassment that her reputation for the evil eye puts her at risk for, and even a potential outburst of anger if she ever loses the indifferent attitude she has towards it. I’ve heard that one of the wealthy men from our area, a certain Sor Agostino of Sarzana, who owns a whole side of marble mountain, is looking for a maid for his daughter, who is about to get married; they are kind people and traditional in their wealth, with the old man still dining with all his servants; and his nephew, who will be his son-in-law, is a handsome young guy who has worked hard like Jacob in the quarry and mill for the love of his pretty cousin. That whole household is so good, simple, and peaceful that I hope it might help tame Dionea. If I don’t manage to get Dionea this position (and your Excellency's influence along with my limited eloquence will be necessary to counteract the negative rumors surrounding our poor little outcast), it might be best to accept your suggestion of taking the girl into your home in Rome, especially since you want to see what you call our bewitching beauty. I'm both amused and a bit offended by what you say about your footmen being good-looking: even Don Juan himself, my dear Lady Evelyn, would feel intimidated by Dionea….

May 29, 1886.

May 29, 1886.

Here is Dionea back upon our hands once more! but I cannot send her to your Excellency. Is it from living among these peasants and fishing-folk, or is it because, as people pretend, a skeptic is always superstitious? I could not muster courage to send you Dionea, although your boys are still in sailor-clothes and your uncle, the Cardinal, is eighty-four; and as to the Prince, why, he bears the most potent amulet against Dionea's terrible powers in your own dear capricious person. Seriously, there is something eerie in this coincidence. Poor Dionea! I feel sorry for her, exposed to the passion of a once patriarchally respectable old man. I feel even more abashed at the incredible audacity, I should almost say sacrilegious madness, of the vile old creature. But still the coincidence is strange and uncomfortable. Last week the lightning struck a huge olive in the orchard of Sor Agostino's house above Sarzana. Under the olive was Sor Agostino himself, who was killed on the spot; and opposite, not twenty paces off, drawing water from the well, unhurt and calm, was Dionea. It was the end of a sultry afternoon: I was on a terrace in one of those villages of ours, jammed, like some hardy bush, in the gash of a hill-side. I saw the storm rush down the valley, a sudden blackness, and then, like a curse, a flash, a tremendous crash, re-echoed by a dozen hills. "I told him," Dionea said very quietly, when she came to stay with me the next day (for Sor Agostino's family would not have her for another half-minute), "that if he did not leave me alone Heaven would send him an accident."

Here’s Dionea back in our lives again! But I can’t send her to you, Your Excellency. Is it because she’s been living with these peasants and fishermen, or is it true, as some say, that a skeptic is always superstitious? I just couldn’t bring myself to send you Dionea, even though your boys are still in sailor outfits and your uncle, the Cardinal, is eighty-four; and as for the Prince, well, he has the most powerful charm against Dionea's terrible powers in your own unpredictable self. Honestly, there’s something unsettling about this coincidence. Poor Dionea! I feel sorry for her, being at the mercy of the passion of a once-respectable old man. I’m even more embarrassed by the sheer audacity, I’d almost call it sacrilegious madness, of that vile old man. But the coincidence is still strange and uncomfortable. Just last week, lightning struck a huge olive tree in Sor Agostino's orchard above Sarzana. Underneath the tree was Sor Agostino himself, who was killed instantly; and just twenty paces away, drawing water from the well, was Dionea, untouched and calm. It was the end of a hot afternoon: I was on a terrace in one of our villages, wedged like a tough bush into the side of a hill. I watched the storm come rushing down the valley, suddenly dark, and then, like a curse, there was a flash and a tremendous crash, echoed by a dozen hills. "I told him," Dionea said quietly when she came to stay with me the next day (because Sor Agostino's family wouldn’t take her in for another second), "that if he didn’t leave me alone, Heaven would send him an accident."

July 15, 1886.

July 15, 1886.

My book? Oh, dear Donna Evelina, do not make me blush by talking of my book! Do not make an old man, respectable, a Government functionary (communal physician of the district of San Massimo and Montemirto Ligure), confess that he is but a lazy unprofitable dreamer, collecting materials as a child picks hips out of a hedge, only to throw them away, liking them merely for the little occupation of scratching his hands and standing on tiptoe, for their pretty redness…. You remember what Balzac says about projecting any piece of work?—"C'est fumier des cigarettes enchantées…." Well, well! The data obtainable about the ancient gods in their days of adversity are few and far between: a quotation here and there from the Fathers; two or three legends; Venus reappearing; the persecutions of Apollo in Styria; Proserpina going, in Chaucer, to reign over the fairies; a few obscure religious persecutions in the Middle Ages on the score of Paganism; some strange rites practiced till lately in the depths of a Breton forest near Lannion…. As to Tannhäuser, he was a real knight, and a sorry one, and a real Minnesinger not of the best. Your Excellency will find some of his poems in Von der Hagen's four immense volumes, but I recommend you to take your notions of Ritter Tannhäuser's poetry rather from Wagner. Certain it is that the Pagan divinities lasted much longer than we suspect, sometimes in their own nakedness, sometimes in the stolen garb of the Madonna or the saints. Who knows whether they do not exist to this day? And, indeed, is it possible they should not? For the awfulness of the deep woods, with their filtered green light, the creak of the swaying, solitary reeds, exists, and is Pan; and the blue, starry May night exists, the sough of the waves, the warm wind carrying the sweetness of the lemon-blossoms, the bitterness of the myrtle on our rocks, the distant chant of the boys cleaning out their nets, of the girls sickling the grass under the olives, Amor—amor—amor, and all this is the great goddess Venus. And opposite to me, as I write, between the branches of the ilexes, across the blue sea, streaked like a Ravenna mosaic with purple and green, shimmer the white houses and walls, the steeple and towers, an enchanted Fata Morgana city, of dim Porto Venere; … and I mumble to myself the verse of Catullus, but addressing a greater and more terrible goddess than he did:—

My book? Oh, dear Donna Evelina, please don’t make me blush by talking about it! Don’t make an old man, a respectable government official (the local physician for San Massimo and Montemirto Ligure), admit that he’s just a lazy dreamer, gathering materials like a child picks berries from a bush just to toss them aside, enjoying only the little distraction of scratching his hands and standing on tiptoe, captivated by their pretty redness…. You remember what Balzac says about starting any project?—"C'est fumier des cigarettes enchantées…." Well, well! The information we have about the ancient gods during hard times is scarce: a quote here and there from the Fathers; a couple of legends; Venus making a comeback; Apollo being chased in Styria; Proserpina going, in Chaucer, to rule over the fairies; a few obscure religious persecutions in the Middle Ages for being Pagan; some strange rituals that were practiced until recently in the deep forests of Brittany near Lannion…. As for Tannhäuser, he was a real knight, though not a very admirable one, and a Minnesinger of mediocre quality. Your Excellency will find some of his poems in Von der Hagen's four massive volumes, but I suggest you form your opinions on Ritter Tannhäuser's poetry more from Wagner. It’s clear that the Pagan deities lasted much longer than we think, sometimes in their own naked forms, sometimes disguised as the Madonna or the saints. Who knows if they still exist today? And really, how could they not? The eerie depth of the woods, with their filtered green light, the creaking of the swaying, solitary reeds, exists, and that is Pan; the blue, starry May night exists, the rustling waves, the warm wind carrying the scent of lemon blossoms, the bitterness of the myrtle on our rocks, the distant singing of boys cleaning their nets, of girls cutting the grass under the olive trees, Amor—amor—amor, and all of this is the great goddess Venus. And right in front of me, as I write, between the branches of the holm oaks, across the blue sea, patterned like a Ravenna mosaic with purple and green, glimmer the white houses and walls, the steeple and towers, an enchanted city of dim Porto Venere; … and I find myself mumbling Catullus’s verses, but addressing a greater and more formidable goddess than he did:—

"Procul a mea sit furor omnis, Hera, domo; alios; age incitatos, alios age rabidos."

"Far away from my home, let all madness be, Hera; others; come on, stir the crazed ones, stir the furious ones."

March 25, 1887.

March 25, 1887.

Yes; I will do everything in my power for your friends. Are you well-bred folk as well bred as we, Republican bourgeois, with the coarse hands (though you once told me mine were psychic hands when the mania of palmistry had not yet been succeeded by that of the Reconciliation between Church and State), I wonder, that you should apologize, you whose father fed me and housed me and clothed me in my exile, for giving me the horrid trouble of hunting for lodgings? It is like you, dear Donna Evelina, to have sent me photographs of my future friend Waldemar's statue…. I have no love for modern sculpture, for all the hours I have spent in Gibson's and Dupré's studio: 'tis a dead art we should do better to bury. But your Waldemar has something of the old spirit: he seems to feel the divineness of the mere body, the spirituality of a limpid stream of mere physical life. But why among these statues only men and boys, athletes and fauns? Why only the bust of that thin, delicate-lipped little Madonna wife of his? Why no wide-shouldered Amazon or broad-flanked Aphrodite?

Yes; I will do everything I can for your friends. Are you well-bred people as refined as we, Republican bourgeois, with rough hands (though you once told me mine were psychic hands when the craze for palmistry hadn't yet been replaced by the Reconciliation between Church and State)? I wonder why you should apologize, you whose father fed me, housed me, and clothed me during my exile, for putting me through the trouble of finding a place to stay? It's typical of you, dear Donna Evelina, to have sent me photos of my future friend Waldemar's statue… I have no love for modern sculpture, despite spending hours in Gibson's and Dupré's studio: it's a dead art we should probably just bury. But your Waldemar has a touch of the old spirit: he seems to recognize the divineness of the human body, the spirituality in the clear flow of simple physical life. But why, among these statues, only men and boys, athletes and fauns? Why just the bust of that thin, delicate-lipped little Madonna wife of his? Where are the wide-shouldered Amazons or broad-flanked Aphrodites?

April 10, 1887.

April 10, 1887.

You ask me how poor Dionea is getting on. Not as your Excellency and I ought to have expected when we placed her with the good Sisters of the Stigmata: although I wager that, fantastic and capricious as you are, you would be better pleased (hiding it carefully from that grave side of you which bestows devout little books and carbolic acid upon the indigent) that your protégée should be a witch than a serving-maid, a maker of philters rather than a knitter of stockings and sewer of shirts.

You’re asking how poor Dionea is doing. Not quite how you and I expected when we sent her to the good Sisters of the Stigmata. Although I bet, with your whimsical and unpredictable nature, you’d probably prefer (carefully hiding it from that serious side of you that gives out religious books and disinfectants to the needy) that your protégée be a witch instead of a maid, a creator of potions rather than someone who knits and mends clothes.

A maker of philters. Roughly speaking, that is Dionea's profession. She lives upon the money which I dole out to her (with many useless objurgations) on behalf of your Excellency, and her ostensible employment is mending nets, collecting olives, carrying bricks, and other miscellaneous jobs; but her real status is that of village sorceress. You think our peasants are skeptical? Perhaps they do not believe in thought-reading, mesmerism, and ghosts, like you, dear Lady Evelyn. But they believe very firmly in the evil eye, in magic, and in love-potions. Every one has his little story of this or that which happened to his brother or cousin or neighbor. My stable-boy and male factotum's brother-in-law, living some years ago in Corsica, was seized with a longing for a dance with his beloved at one of those balls which our peasants give in the winter, when the snow makes leisure in the mountains. A wizard anointed him for money, and straightway he turned into a black cat, and in three bounds was over the seas, at the door of his uncle's cottage, and among the dancers. He caught his beloved by the skirt to draw her attention; but she replied with a kick which sent him squealing back to Corsica. When he returned in summer he refused to marry the lady, and carried his left arm in a sling. "You broke it when I came to the Veglia!" he said, and all seemed explained. Another lad, returning from working in the vineyards near Marseilles, was walking up to his native village, high in our hills, one moonlight night. He heard sounds of fiddle and fife from a roadside barn, and saw yellow light from its chinks; and then entering, he found many women dancing, old and young, and among them his affianced. He tried to snatch her round the waist for a waltz (they play Mme. Angot at our rustic balls), but the girl was unclutchable, and whispered, "Go; for these are witches, who will kill thee; and I am a witch also. Alas! I shall go to hell when I die."

A maker of potions. In simple terms, that’s Dionea's job. She lives off the money I give her (with plenty of pointless scolding) for your Excellency, and her official work involves mending nets, picking olives, carrying bricks, and other random tasks; but her true role is that of the village sorceress. You think our villagers are doubtful? Maybe they don’t believe in mind reading, mesmerism, or ghosts, like you, dear Lady Evelyn. But they definitely believe in the evil eye, magic, and love potions. Everyone has their little story about this or that happening to a brother, cousin, or neighbor. My stable boy and male helper’s brother-in-law, who lived in Corsica a few years back, was overcome with a desire to dance with his sweetheart at one of those winter balls our villagers throw when the snow encourages relaxation in the mountains. A wizard treated him for money, and right away he turned into a black cat, and in three leaps was over the seas, at his uncle's cottage, and among the dancers. He tugged at his sweetheart's skirt to get her attention; but she responded with a kick that sent him yowling back to Corsica. When he returned in the summer, he refused to marry the girl and kept his left arm in a sling. "You broke it when I came to the Veglia!" he said, and that seemed to explain everything. Another young man, coming back from working in the vineyards near Marseille, was walking up to his village high in the hills one moonlit night. He heard the sounds of fiddles and flutes coming from a roadside barn and saw yellow light spilling from its cracks; and when he stepped inside, he found many women dancing, old and young, and among them was his fiancée. He tried to grab her around the waist to dance (they play Mme. Angot at our local balls), but the girl was impossible to grasp and whispered, "Go; for these are witches, who will kill you; and I am a witch too. Alas! I will go to hell when I die."

I could tell your Excellency dozens of such stories. But love-philters are among the commonest things to sell and buy. Do you remember the sad little story of Cervantes' Licentiate, who, instead of a love-potion, drank a philter which made him think he was made of glass, fit emblem of a poor mad poet? … It is love-philters that Dionea prepares. No; do not misunderstand; they do not give love of her, still less her love.

I could share countless stories like this, Your Excellency. But love potions are some of the most common things to buy and sell. Do you recall the sad tale of Cervantes' Licentiate, who, instead of a love potion, ended up drinking a potion that made him believe he was made of glass, a fitting symbol of a poor mad poet? … It's love potions that Dionea makes. No; don't get it twisted; they don't create love for her, let alone her love.

Your seller of love-charms is as cold as ice, as pure as snow. The priest has crusaded against her, and stones have flown at her as she went by from dissatisfied lovers; and the very children, paddling in the sea and making mud-pies in the sand, have put out forefinger and little finger and screamed, "Witch, witch! ugly witch!" as she passed with basket or brick load; but Dionea has only smiled, that snake-like, amused smile, but more ominous than of yore. The other day I determined to seek her and argue with her on the subject of her evil trade. Dionea has a certain regard for me; not, I fancy, a result of gratitude, but rather the recognition of a certain admiration and awe which she inspires in your Excellency's foolish old servant. She has taken up her abode in a deserted hut, built of dried reeds and thatch, such as they keep cows in, among the olives on the cliffs. She was not there, but about the hut pecked some white pigeons, and from it, startling me foolishly with its unexpected sound, came the eerie bleat of her pet goat…. Among the olives it was twilight already, with streakings of faded rose in the sky, and faded rose, like long trails of petals, on the distant sea. I clambered down among the myrtle-bushes and came to a little semicircle of yellow sand, between two high and jagged rocks, the place where the sea had deposited Dionea after the wreck. She was seated there on the sand, her bare foot dabbling in the waves; she had twisted a wreath of myrtle and wild roses on her black, crisp hair. Near her was one of our prettiest girls, the Lena of Sor Tullio the blacksmith, with ashy, terrified face under her flowered kerchief. I determined to speak to the child, but without startling her now, for she is a nervous, hysteric little thing. So I sat on the rocks, screened by the myrtle-bushes, waiting till the girl had gone. Dionea, seated listless on the sands, leaned over the sea and took some of its water in the hollow of her hand. "Here," she said to the Lena of Sor Tullio, "fill your bottle with this and give it to drink to Tommasino the Rosebud." Then she set to singing:—

Your love-charm seller is as cold as ice, as pure as snow. The priest has waged a campaign against her, and stones have been thrown at her by unhappy lovers as she walked by; even the children playing in the sea and making mud-pies in the sand pointed at her with their little fingers and shouted, "Witch, witch! ugly witch!" as she passed with her basket or load. But Dionea just smiled, that snake-like, amused smile, now even more foreboding than before. The other day, I decided to find her and confront her about her shady business. Dionea seems to have some regard for me; not, I think, out of gratitude, but more because of the admiration and awe she inspires in your Excellency’s foolish old servant. She has made her home in an abandoned hut made of dried reeds and thatch, the kind used for cows, among the olives on the cliffs. She wasn’t there, but some white pigeons were pecking around the hut, and from it came the eerie bleat of her pet goat, startling me with its unexpected sound. It was already twilight among the olives, with streaks of faded rose in the sky and faded rose-like trails of petals on the distant sea. I climbed down through the myrtle bushes and reached a small semicircle of yellow sand between two high, jagged rocks, the spot where the sea had washed up Dionea after the wreck. She was sitting on the sand, dipping her bare foot in the waves; she had twisted a wreath of myrtle and wild roses into her black, curly hair. Nearby was one of our prettiest girls, Lena, daughter of Sor Tullio the blacksmith, with a pale, terrified face beneath her flowered kerchief. I intended to speak to the girl, but without scaring her, as she is a nervous, excitable little thing. So I sat on the rocks, hidden by the myrtle bushes, waiting for her to leave. Dionea, listlessly seated on the sands, leaned over the sea and scooped some water in the palm of her hand. "Here," she said to Lena of Sor Tullio, "fill your bottle with this and give it to drink to Tommasino the Rosebud." Then she began to sing:—

"Love is salt, like sea-water—I drink and I die of thirst…. Water! water! Yet the more I drink, the more I burn. Love! thou art bitter as the seaweed."

"Love is like salt, just like seawater—I drink and I die of thirst… Water! water! Yet the more I drink, the more I burn. Love! you are as bitter as the seaweed."

April 20, 1887.

April 20, 1887.

Your friends are settled here, dear Lady Evelyn. The house is built in what was once a Genoese fort, growing like a grey spiked aloes out of the marble rocks of our bay; rock and wall (the walls existed long before Genoa was ever heard of) grown almost into a homogeneous mass, delicate grey, stained with black and yellow lichen, and dotted here and there with myrtle-shoots and crimson snapdragon. In what was once the highest enclosure of the fort, where your friend Gertrude watches the maids hanging out the fine white sheets and pillow-cases to dry (a bit of the North, of Hermann and Dorothea transferred to the South), a great twisted fig-tree juts out like an eccentric gargoyle over the sea, and drops its ripe fruit into the deep blue pools. There is but scant furniture in the house, but a great oleander overhangs it, presently to burst into pink splendor; and on all the window-sills, even that of the kitchen (such a background of shining brass saucepans Waldemar's wife has made of it!) are pipkins and tubs full of trailing carnations, and tufts of sweet basil and thyme and mignonette. She pleases me most, your Gertrude, although you foretold I should prefer the husband; with her thin white face, a Memling Madonna finished by some Tuscan sculptor, and her long, delicate white hands ever busy, like those of a mediaeval lady, with some delicate piece of work; and the strange blue, more limpid than the sky and deeper than the sea, of her rarely lifted glance.

Your friends have settled in, dear Lady Evelyn. The house is built on what used to be a Genoese fort, rising like a grey spikey aloe from the marble rocks of our bay; the rock and walls (which existed long before anyone ever heard of Genoa) have become almost one, a delicate grey stained with black and yellow lichen, and dotted here and there with myrtle shoots and bright red snapdragons. In what used to be the highest enclosure of the fort, where your friend Gertrude watches the maids hanging out the fine white sheets and pillowcases to dry (a touch of the North, of Hermann and Dorothea brought to the South), a great twisted fig tree juts out like an eccentric gargoyle over the sea, dropping its ripe fruit into the deep blue pools. The house has only sparse furniture, but a big oleander hangs over it, about to burst into pink splendor; and on all the window sills, even in the kitchen (what a beautiful display of shining brass saucepans Waldemar's wife has created!), there are pots and tubs full of trailing carnations, tufts of sweet basil, thyme, and mignonette. I find your Gertrude most pleasing, even though you predicted I would prefer her husband; with her thin white face, like a Memling Madonna finished by some Tuscan sculptor, and her long, delicate white hands always busy, like those of a medieval lady, working on some fine piece of craft; and her strange blue gaze, clearer than the sky and deeper than the sea, rarely lifted.

It is in her company that I like Waldemar best; I prefer to the genius that infinitely tender and respectful, I would not say lover —yet I have no other word—of his pale wife. He seems to me, when with her, like some fierce, generous, wild thing from the woods, like the lion of Una, tame and submissive to this saint…. This tenderness is really very beautiful on the part of that big lion Waldemar, with his odd eyes, as of some wild animal—odd, and, your Excellency remarks, not without a gleam of latent ferocity. I think that hereby hangs the explanation of his never doing any but male figures: the female figure, he says (and your Excellency must hold him responsible, not me, for such profanity), is almost inevitably inferior in strength and beauty; woman is not form, but expression, and therefore suits painting, but not sculpture. The point of a woman is not her body, but (and here his eyes rested very tenderly upon the thin white profile of his wife) her soul. "Still," I answered, "the ancients, who understood such matters, did manufacture some tolerable female statues: the Fates of the Parthenon, the Phidian Pallas, the Venus of Milo."…

It’s with her that I like Waldemar the most; I prefer him to the genius who is infinitely tender and respectful—I wouldn’t say lover—but that’s the only word I have for him regarding his pale wife. He seems to me, when he’s with her, like some fierce, generous, wild creature from the woods, like the lion of Una, tamed and submissive to this saint…. That tenderness from big lion Waldemar, with his unusual eyes, which resemble those of some wild animal—strange, and, as your Excellency notes, not without a hint of hidden ferocity—is really quite beautiful. I think this explains why he only creates male figures: he claims (and your Excellency has to hold him accountable for this blasphemy, not me) that the female figure is almost always inferior in strength and beauty; woman represents expression, not form, which is why she fits painting but not sculpture. The essence of a woman isn’t her body but (and here his eyes lingered tenderly on the delicate white profile of his wife) her soul. "Still," I replied, "the ancients, who understood these things, did create some decent female statues: the Fates of the Parthenon, the Phidian Pallas, the Venus of Milo."…

"Ah! yes," exclaimed Waldemar, smiling, with that savage gleam of his eyes; "but those are not women, and the people who made them have left as the tales of Endymion, Adonis, Anchises: a goddess might sit for them."…

"Ah! yes," Waldemar said with a smile, his eyes shining with that fierce spark; "but those aren’t women, and the people who created them have departed just like the stories of Endymion, Adonis, and Anchises: a goddess could pose for them."…

May 5, 1887.

May 5, 1887.

Has it ever struck your Excellency in one of your La Rochefoucauld fits (in Lent say, after too many balls) that not merely maternal but conjugal unselfishness may be a very selfish thing? There! you toss your little head at my words; yet I wager I have heard you say that other women may think it right to humor their husbands, but as to you, the Prince must learn that a wife's duty is as much to chasten her husband's whims as to satisfy them. I really do feel indignant that such a snow-white saint should wish another woman to part with all instincts of modesty merely because that other woman would be a good model for her husband; really it is intolerable. "Leave the girl alone," Waldemar said, laughing. "What do I want with the unaesthetic sex, as Schopenhauer calls it?" But Gertrude has set her heart on his doing a female figure; it seems that folk have twitted him with never having produced one. She has long been on the look-out for a model for him. It is odd to see this pale, demure, diaphanous creature, not the more earthly for approaching motherhood, scanning the girls of our village with the eyes of a slave-dealer.

Has it ever crossed your mind, Your Excellency, during one of your La Rochefoucauld phases (say during Lent, after too many balls), that not just maternal but marital selflessness can actually be quite selfish? There! You’re shaking your head at my words; but I bet I’ve heard you say that other women might think it’s okay to indulge their husbands, but as far as you’re concerned, the Prince needs to understand that a wife's duty is just as much about curbing her husband's whims as it is about fulfilling them. I honestly feel upset that such a pure saint would want another woman to give up all her instincts of modesty just because that woman could serve as a good example for her husband; it’s really unacceptable. "Leave the girl alone," Waldemar said, laughing. "What do I need with the unaesthetic sex, as Schopenhauer calls it?" But Gertrude is determined for him to create a female figure; apparently, people have teased him for never having made one. She has been on the lookout for a model for him for a while now. It’s strange to see this pale, shy, ethereal woman, who is no less delicate for being close to motherhood, scrutinizing the girls in our village as if she were a slave trader.

"If you insist on speaking to Dionea," I said, "I shall insist on speaking to her at the same time, to urge her to refuse your proposal." But Waldemar's pale wife was indifferent to all my speeches about modesty being a poor girl's only dowry. "She will do for a Venus," she merely answered.

"If you really want to talk to Dionea," I said, "I'll talk to her at the same time to encourage her to say no to your offer." But Waldemar's pale wife didn't care about anything I said about how modesty is a poor girl's only asset. "She'll do just fine as a Venus," she simply replied.

We went up to the cliffs together, after some sharp words, Waldemar's wife hanging on my arm as we slowly clambered up the stony path among the olives. We found Dionea at the door of her hut, making faggots of myrtle-branches. She listened sullenly to Gertrude's offer and explanations; indifferently to my admonitions not to accept. The thought of stripping for the view of a man, which would send a shudder through our most brazen village girls, seemed not to startle her, immaculate and savage as she is accounted. She did not answer, but sat under the olives, looking vaguely across the sea. At that moment Waldemar came up to us; he had followed with the intention of putting an end to these wranglings.

We climbed up to the cliffs together, after a heated exchange, Waldemar's wife holding onto my arm as we slowly made our way up the rocky path through the olive trees. We found Dionea at the door of her hut, gathering myrtle branches into bundles. She listened sullenly to Gertrude’s offer and explanations, and showed indifference to my warnings not to accept. The idea of undressing in front of a man, which would send a chill through our boldest village girls, didn’t seem to shock her, as pure and wild as she is known to be. She didn’t respond, but sat under the olive trees, gazing vaguely out at the sea. At that moment, Waldemar approached us; he had followed with the intention of ending these arguments.

"Gertrude," he said, "do leave her alone. I have found a model—a fisher-boy, whom I much prefer to any woman."

"Gertrude," he said, "just leave her alone. I’ve found a model—a fisherman kid, who I like way more than any woman."

Dionea raised her head with that serpentine smile. "I will come," she said.

Dionea lifted her head with a sly smile. "I’ll come," she said.

Waldemar stood silent; his eyes were fixed on her, where she stood under the olives, her white shift loose about her splendid throat, her shining feet bare in the grass. Vaguely, as if not knowing what he said, he asked her name. She answered that her name was Dionea; for the rest, she was an Innocentina, that is to say, a foundling; then she began to sing:—

Waldemar stood quietly, his gaze locked on her as she stood beneath the olive trees, her white dress flowing loosely around her beautiful neck, her bare feet glowing against the grass. Uncertain, as if he didn’t really know what he was saying, he asked her name. She replied that her name was Dionea; besides that, she was an Innocentina, meaning she was a foundling; then she started to sing:—

  "Flower of the myrtle!
  My father is the starry sky,
  The mother that made me is the sea."

"Flower of the myrtle!
  My dad is the starry sky,
  The mom who gave me life is the sea."

June 22, 1887.

June 22, 1887.

I confess I was an old fool to have grudged Waldemar his model. As I watch him gradually building up his statue, watch the goddess gradually emerging from the clay heap, I ask myself—and the case might trouble a more subtle moralist than me—whether a village girl, an obscure, useless life within the bounds of what we choose to call right and wrong, can be weighed against the possession by mankind of a great work of art, a Venus immortally beautiful? Still, I am glad that the two alternatives need not be weighed against each other. Nothing can equal the kindness of Gertrude, now that Dionea has consented to sit to her husband; the girl is ostensibly merely a servant like any other; and, lest any report of her real functions should get abroad and discredit her at San Massimo or Montemirto, she is to be taken to Rome, where no one will be the wiser, and where, by the way, your Excellency will have an opportunity of comparing Waldemar's goddess of love with our little orphan of the Convent of the Stigmata. What reassures me still more is the curious attitude of Waldemar towards the girl. I could never have believed that an artist could regard a woman so utterly as a mere inanimate thing, a form to copy, like a tree or flower. Truly he carries out his theory that sculpture knows only the body, and the body scarcely considered as human. The way in which he speaks to Dionea after hours of the most rapt contemplation of her is almost brutal in its coldness. And yet to hear him exclaim, "How beautiful she is! Good God, how beautiful!" No love of mere woman was ever so violent as this love of woman's mere shape.

I admit I was foolish to begrudge Waldemar his model. As I watch him slowly building up his statue, as the goddess gradually takes shape from the mound of clay, I wonder—and a more insightful moralist than me might be troubled by this—whether a village girl, an inconspicuous, seemingly pointless life within the boundaries of what we consider right and wrong, can really compare to mankind’s possession of a great work of art, an eternally beautiful Venus. Still, I'm thankful that we don't have to choose between the two options. Nothing can match Gertrude's kindness, now that Dionea has agreed to pose for her husband; the girl is officially just another servant; and, to prevent any rumors about her true role from sullying her reputation at San Massimo or Montemirto, she will be taken to Rome, where no one will be the wiser. By the way, your Excellency will get a chance to compare Waldemar's goddess of love with our little orphan from the Convent of the Stigmata. What reassures me even more is Waldemar’s strange attitude towards the girl. I could never have imagined that an artist could see a woman purely as an inanimate object, just a form to replicate, like a tree or flower. He truly embodies his belief that sculpture only recognizes the body, and even the body is hardly seen as human. The way he speaks to Dionea after hours of intensely contemplating her is almost harsh in its detachment. Yet, to hear him exclaim, "How beautiful she is! Good God, how beautiful!" No love for a woman has ever been as intense as this love for a woman’s mere shape.

June 27, 1887.

June 27, 1887.

You asked me once, dearest Excellency, whether there survived among our people (you had evidently added a volume on folk-lore to that heap of half-cut, dog's-eared books that litter about among the Chineseries and mediaeval brocades of your rooms) any trace of Pagan myths. I explained to you then that all our fairy mythology, classic gods, and demons and heroes, teemed with fairies, ogres, and princes. Last night I had a curious proof of this. Going to see the Waldemar, I found Dionea seated under the oleander at the top of the old Genoese fort, telling stories to the two little blonde children who were making the falling pink blossoms into necklaces at her feet; the pigeons, Dionea's white pigeons, which never leave her, strutting and pecking among the basil pots, and the white gulls flying round the rocks overhead. This is what I heard… "And the three fairies said to the youngest son of the King, to the one who had been brought up as a shepherd, 'Take this apple, and give it to her among us who is most beautiful.' And the first fairy said, 'If thou give it to me thou shalt be Emperor of Rome, and have purple clothes, and have a gold crown and gold armor, and horses and courtiers;' and the second said, 'If thou give it to me thou shalt be Pope, and wear a miter, and have the keys of heaven and hell;' and the third fairy said, 'Give the apple to me, for I will give thee the most beautiful lady to wife.' And the youngest son of the King sat in the green meadow and thought about it a little, and then said, 'What use is there in being Emperor or Pope? Give me the beautiful lady to wife, since I am young myself.' And he gave the apple to the third of the three fairies."…

You once asked me, dear Excellency, whether there were any remnants of Pagan myths among our people (you must have added a volume on folklore to that stack of half-read, dog-eared books that clutter your rooms filled with Chineseries and medieval textiles). I explained to you then that our fairy mythology, classic gods, demons, and heroes were full of fairies, ogres, and princes. Last night I had an interesting example of this. When I went to see Waldemar, I found Dionea sitting under the oleander at the top of the old Genoese fort, telling stories to two little blonde children who were making necklaces from the falling pink blossoms at her feet; her white pigeons, which never leave her, were strutting and pecking among the basil pots, and white gulls were flying around the rocks above. This is what I heard… "And the three fairies said to the youngest son of the King, the one who had been raised as a shepherd, 'Take this apple and give it to the one among us who is the most beautiful.' And the first fairy said, 'If you give it to me, you will be Emperor of Rome, wearing purple clothes, a gold crown and gold armor, and surrounded by horses and courtiers;' and the second said, 'If you give it to me, you will be Pope, wearing a miter and holding the keys to heaven and hell;' and the third fairy said, 'Give the apple to me, and I will give you the most beautiful lady as your wife.' And the youngest son of the King sat in the green meadow, thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'What good is being Emperor or Pope? Just give me the beautiful lady for my wife, since I am young myself.' And he gave the apple to the third fairy."…

Dionea droned out the story in her half-Genoese dialect, her eyes looking far away across the blue sea, dotted with sails like white sea-gulls, that strange serpentine smile on her lips.

Dionea droned on about the story in her half-Genoese accent, her eyes gazing far across the blue sea, speckled with sails like white seagulls, that strange serpentine smile on her lips.

"Who told thee that fable?" I asked.

"Who told you that story?" I asked.

She took a handful of oleander-blossoms from the ground, and throwing them in the air, answered listlessly, as she watched the little shower of rosy petals descend on her black hair and pale breast—

She picked up a handful of oleander flowers from the ground and, tossing them into the air, replied absently as she watched the little shower of pink petals fall onto her dark hair and pale chest—

"Who knows?"

"Who knows?"

July 6, 1887.

July 6, 1887.

How strange is the power of art! Has Waldemar's statue shown me the real Dionea, or has Dionea really grown more strangely beautiful than before? Your Excellency will laugh; but when I meet her I cast down my eyes after the first glimpse of her loveliness; not with the shyness of a ridiculous old pursuer of the Eternal Feminine, but with a sort of religious awe—the feeling with which, as a child kneeling by my mother's side, I looked down on the church flags when the Mass bell told the elevation of the Host…. Do you remember the story of Zeuxis and the ladies of Crotona, five of the fairest not being too much for his Juno? Do you remember—you, who have read everything—all the bosh of our writers about the Ideal in Art? Why, here is a girl who disproves all this nonsense in a minute; she is far, far more beautiful than Waldemar's statue of her. He said so angrily, only yesterday, when his wife took me into his studio (he has made a studio of the long-desecrated chapel of the old Genoese fort, itself, they say, occupying the site of the temple of Venus).

How strange is the power of art! Has Waldemar's statue revealed the true Dionea, or has Dionea actually become even more beautifully unusual than before? Your Excellency will laugh; but when I see her, I lower my eyes after the first glimpse of her beauty—not out of the shyness of a silly old admirer chasing the Eternal Feminine, but with a kind of religious awe—the same feeling I had as a child kneeling beside my mother, looking down at the church banners when the Mass bell signaled the elevation of the Host…. Do you remember the story of Zeuxis and the women of Crotona, where even five of the most beautiful women weren't enough for his Juno? Do you remember—you, who have read everything—all the nonsense our writers say about the Ideal in Art? Well, here’s a girl who proves all that garbage wrong in an instant; she is way more beautiful than Waldemar's statue of her. He said so angrily, just yesterday, when his wife brought me into his studio (he has turned the long-desecrated chapel of the old Genoese fort into a studio, which supposedly sits on the site of the temple of Venus).

As he spoke that odd spark of ferocity dilated in his eyes, and seizing the largest of his modeling tools, he obliterated at one swoop the whole exquisite face. Poor Gertrude turned ashy white, and a convulsion passed over her face….

As he spoke, that strange intensity flared in his eyes, and grabbing the largest of his modeling tools, he wiped away the entire beautiful face in one swift motion. Poor Gertrude turned pale, and a shudder ran across her face….

July 15.

July 15

I wish I could make Gertrude understand, and yet I could never, never bring myself to say a word. As a matter of fact, what is there to be said? Surely she knows best that her husband will never love any woman but herself. Yet ill, nervous as she is, I quite understand that she must loathe this unceasing talk of Dionea, of the superiority of the model over the statue. Cursed statue! I wish it were finished, or else that it had never been begun.

I wish I could make Gertrude understand, but I could never bring myself to say anything. Honestly, what is there to say? She has to know that her husband will never love anyone but her. Still, given how anxious she is, I totally get why she must hate this constant chatter about Dionea and how the model is better than the statue. Damn statue! I wish it were done or that it had never been started at all.

July 20.

July 20

This morning Waldemar came to me. He seemed strangely agitated: I guessed he had something to tell me, and yet I could never ask. Was it cowardice on my part? He sat in my shuttered room, the sunshine making pools on the red bricks and tremulous stars on the ceiling, talking of many things at random, and mechanically turning over the manuscript, the heap of notes of my poor, never-finished book on the Exiled Gods. Then he rose, and walking nervously round my study, talking disconnectedly about his work, his eye suddenly fell upon a little altar, one of my few antiquities, a little block of marble with a carved garland and rams' heads, and a half-effaced inscription dedicating it to Venus, the mother of Love.

This morning, Waldemar came to see me. He seemed really unsettled: I figured he had something to share, but I could never bring myself to ask. Was it cowardice on my part? He sat in my darkened room, the sunlight creating pools on the red bricks and shimmering patterns on the ceiling, chatting about random topics, all while mechanically flipping through the manuscript and pile of notes for my unfinished book on the Exiled Gods. Then he got up and, walking anxiously around my study, spoke incoherently about his work until his eyes suddenly landed on a small altar, one of my few antiques, a little block of marble with a carved garland and ram’s heads, and a partly worn inscription dedicating it to Venus, the mother of Love.

"It was found," I explained, "in the ruins of the temple, somewhere on the site of your studio: so, at least, the man said from whom I bought it."

"It was found," I explained, "in the ruins of the temple, somewhere on the site of your studio: at least, that's what the guy I bought it from said."

Waldemar looked at it long. "So," he said, "this little cavity was to burn the incense in; or rather, I suppose, since it has two little gutters running into it, for collecting the blood of the victim? Well, well! they were wiser in that day, to wring the neck of a pigeon or burn a pinch of incense than to eat their own hearts out, as we do, all along of Dame Venus;" and he laughed, and left me with that odd ferocious lighting-up of his face. Presently there came a knock at my door. It was Waldemar. "Doctor," he said very quietly, "will you do me a favor? Lend me your little Venus altar—only for a few days, only till the day after tomorrow. I want to copy the design of it for the pedestal of my statue: it is appropriate." I sent the altar to him: the lad who carried it told me that Waldemar had set it up in the studio, and calling for a flask of wine, poured out two glasses. One he had given to my messenger for his pains; of the other he had drunk a mouthful, and thrown the rest over the altar, saying some unknown words. "It must be some German habit," said my servant. What odd fancies this man has!

Waldemar stared at it for a long time. "So," he said, "this little space was meant for burning incense; or rather, I guess, since it has two small channels leading into it, for collecting the blood of the sacrifice? Well, well! They were smarter back then, to snap the neck of a pigeon or burn a bit of incense than to drive themselves crazy like we do, all because of Lady Venus;" and he laughed, leaving me with that strange, fierce light in his eyes. Soon, there was a knock at my door. It was Waldemar. "Doctor," he said calmly, "could you do me a favor? Lend me your little Venus altar—just for a few days, until the day after tomorrow. I want to copy its design for the base of my statue: it’s fitting." I sent the altar to him: the guy who delivered it told me that Waldemar had set it up in his studio and, after asking for a bottle of wine, poured two glasses. He gave one to my messenger for his trouble; he took a sip from the other and then splashed the rest over the altar, mumbling some unfamiliar words. "That must be some German custom," said my servant. What strange ideas this guy has!

July 25.

July 25th.

You ask me, dearest Excellency, to send you some sheets of my book: you want to know what I have discovered. Alas! dear Donna Evelina, I have discovered, I fear, that there is nothing to discover; that Apollo was never in Styria; that Chaucer, when he called the Queen of the Fairies Proserpine, meant nothing more than an eighteenth century poet when he called Dolly or Betty Cynthia or Amaryllis; that the lady who damned poor Tannhäuser was not Venus, but a mere little Suabian mountain sprite; in fact, that poetry is only the invention of poets, and that that rogue, Heinrich Heine, is entirely responsible for the existence of Dieux en Exil…. My poor manuscript can only tell you what St. Augustine, Tertullian, and sundry morose old Bishops thought about the loves of Father Zeus and the miracles of the Lady Isis, none of which is much worth your attention…. Reality, my dear Lady Evelyn, is always prosaic: at least when investigated into by bald old gentlemen like me.

You ask me, dear Excellency, to send you some pages of my book: you want to know what I’ve discovered. Sadly, dear Donna Evelina, I’ve discovered, I’m afraid, that there’s nothing to uncover; that Apollo was never in Styria; that Chaucer, when he referred to the Queen of the Fairies as Proserpine, meant nothing more than an 18th-century poet when he called Dolly or Betty Cynthia or Amaryllis; that the lady who condemned poor Tannhäuser wasn’t Venus, but just a little Suabian mountain sprite; in fact, that poetry is just the invention of poets, and that trickster, Heinrich Heine, is fully responsible for the existence of Dieux en Exil…. My poor manuscript can only tell you what St. Augustine, Tertullian, and various grumpy old Bishops thought about the loves of Father Zeus and the miracles of the Lady Isis, none of which is really worth your attention…. Reality, my dear Lady Evelyn, is always mundane: at least when explored by bald old gentlemen like me.

And yet, it does not look so. The world, at times, seems to be playing at being poetic, mysterious, full of wonder and romance. I am writing, as usual, by my window, the moonlight brighter in its whiteness than my mean little yellow-shining lamp. From the mysterious greyness, the olive groves and lanes beneath my terrace, rises a confused quaver of frogs, and buzz and whirr of insects: something, in sound, like the vague trails of countless stars, the galaxies on galaxies blurred into mere blue shimmer by the moon, which rides slowly across the highest heaven. The olive twigs glisten in the rays: the flowers of the pomegranate and oleander are only veiled as with bluish mist in their scarlet and rose. In the sea is another sea, of molten, rippled silver, or a magic causeway leading to the shining vague offing, the luminous pale sky-line, where the islands of Palmaria and Tino float like unsubstantial, shadowy dolphins. The roofs of Montemirto glimmer among the black, pointing cypresses: farther below, at the end of that half-moon of land, is San Massimo: the Genoese fort inhabited by our friends is profiled black against the sky. All is dark: our fisher-folk go to bed early; Gertrude and the little ones are asleep: they at least are, for I can imagine Gertrude lying awake, the moonbeams on her thin Madonna face, smiling as she thinks of the little ones around her, of the other tiny thing that will soon lie on her breast…. There is a light in the old desecrated chapel, the thing that was once the temple of Venus, they say, and is now Waldemar's workshop, its broken roof mended with reeds and thatch. Waldemar has stolen in, no doubt to see his statue again. But he will return, more peaceful for the peacefulness of the night, to his sleeping wife and children. God bless and watch over them! Good-night, dearest Excellency.

And yet, it doesn't seem like that. The world sometimes feels like it's trying to be poetic, mysterious, full of wonder and romance. I'm writing, as usual, by my window, with the moonlight shining brighter and whiter than my small, yellow lamp. From the mysterious grayness of the olive groves and paths under my terrace, I hear a confused chorus of frogs and the buzz and whir of insects: something in the sounds resembles the faint trails of countless stars, galaxies blurred into simply a blue shimmer by the moon, which moves slowly across the sky. The olive twigs sparkle in the light: the flowers of the pomegranate and oleander are just covered in a bluish mist over their scarlet and pink colors. In the sea is another sea, of molten, rippling silver, or a magical path leading to the glowing horizon, the shining pale skyline, where the islands of Palmaria and Tino drift like ethereal, shadowy dolphins. The roofs of Montemirto shine among the black, pointed cypress trees: further down, at the end of that half-moon of land, is San Massimo: the Genoese fort where our friends live stands out in black against the sky. Everything is dark: our fishermen go to bed early; Gertrude and the little ones are asleep: they are at least, since I can picture Gertrude lying awake, the moonlight on her thin Madonna-like face, smiling as she thinks of the little ones around her, and of the other tiny one who will soon be in her arms…. There’s a light in the old desecrated chapel, what was once said to be the temple of Venus, now Waldemar's workshop, its broken roof patched with reeds and thatch. Waldemar has snuck in, probably to look at his statue again. But he will come back, feeling more at peace from the calm of the night, to his sleeping wife and children. God bless and watch over them! Good night, dearest Excellency.

July 26.

July 26

I have your Excellency's telegram in answer to mine. Many thanks for sending the Prince. I await his coming with feverish longing; it is still something to look forward to. All does not seem over. And yet what can he do?

I have your Excellency's telegram in response to mine. Thank you for sending the Prince. I’m eagerly waiting for his arrival; it’s still something to look forward to. Everything doesn’t seem finished. And yet, what can he actually do?

The children are safe: we fetched them out of their bed and brought them up here. They are still a little shaken by the fire, the bustle, and by finding themselves in a strange house; also, they want to know where their mother is; but they have found a tame cat, and I hear them chirping on the stairs.

The kids are safe: we got them out of bed and brought them up here. They're still a bit shaken by the fire, the commotion, and being in a strange house; plus, they want to know where their mom is; but they've found a friendly cat, and I can hear them chatting on the stairs.

It was only the roof of the studio, the reeds and thatch, that burned, and a few old pieces of timber. Waldemar must have set fire to it with great care; he had brought armfuls of faggots of dry myrtle and heather from the bakehouse close by, and thrown into the blaze quantities of pine-cones, and of some resin, I know not what, that smelt like incense. When we made our way, early this morning, through the smoldering studio, we were stifled with a hot church-like perfume: my brain swam, and I suddenly remembered going into St. Peter's on Easter Day as a child.

It was just the roof of the studio, made of reeds and thatch, that caught fire, along with a few old pieces of wood. Waldemar must have started it very carefully; he had brought in armfuls of dry myrtle and heather from the nearby bakehouse and tossed in a bunch of pine cones, along with some kind of resin that smelled like incense. As we walked through the smoldering studio early this morning, we were hit with a hot, church-like scent: my head was spinning, and I suddenly recalled visiting St. Peter's on Easter Sunday as a child.

It happened last night, while I was writing to you. Gertrude had gone to bed, leaving her husband in the studio. About eleven the maids heard him come out and call to Dionea to get up and come and sit to him. He had had this craze once before, of seeing her and his statue by an artificial light: you remember he had theories about the way in which the ancients lit up the statues in their temples. Gertrude, the servants say, was heard creeping downstairs a little later.

It happened last night while I was writing to you. Gertrude had gone to bed, leaving her husband in the studio. Around eleven, the maids heard him come out and call to Dionea to get up and join him. He had this obsession before, wanting to see her and his statue under artificial light: you remember he had ideas about how the ancients illuminated the statues in their temples. Gertrude, the servants say, was heard sneaking downstairs a little later.

Do you see it? I have seen nothing else these hours, which have seemed weeks and months. He had placed Dionea on the big marble block behind the altar, a great curtain of dull red brocade—you know that Venetian brocade with the gold pomegranate pattern—behind her, like a Madonna of Van Eyck's. He showed her to me once before like this, the whiteness of her neck and breast, the whiteness of the drapery round her flanks, toned to the color of old marble by the light of the resin burning in pans all round…. Before Dionea was the altar—the altar of Venus which he had borrowed from me. He must have collected all the roses about it, and thrown the incense upon the embers when Gertrude suddenly entered. And then, and then…

Do you see it? I haven’t seen anything else for hours, which feel like weeks and months. He had placed Dionea on the big marble block behind the altar, with a huge curtain of dull red brocade—you know, that Venetian brocade with the gold pomegranate pattern—behind her, making her look like a Madonna from a Van Eyck painting. He showed her to me like this once before, the whiteness of her neck and breast, the whiteness of the drapery around her flanks, all toned to the color of old marble by the light of the resin burning in pans all around… Before Dionea was the altar—the altar of Venus that he had borrowed from me. He must have collected all the roses around it and thrown the incense onto the embers right when Gertrude suddenly walked in. And then, and then…

We found her lying across the altar, her pale hair among the ashes of the incense, her blood—she had but little to give, poor white ghost!—trickling among the carved garlands and rams' heads, blackening the heaped-up roses. The body of Waldemar was found at the foot of the castle cliff. Had he hoped, by setting the place on fire, to bury himself among its ruins, or had he not rather wished to complete in this way the sacrifice, to make the whole temple an immense votive pyre? It looked like one, as we hurried down the hills to San Massimo: the whole hillside, dry grass, myrtle, and heather, all burning, the pale short flames waving against the blue moonlit sky, and the old fortress outlined black against the blaze.

We found her lying across the altar, her pale hair mixed with the ashes of the incense, her blood—she had so little to give, poor white ghost!—dripping among the carved garlands and rams' heads, staining the piled-up roses. Waldemar's body was discovered at the foot of the castle cliff. Did he hope, by setting the place on fire, to bury himself in its ruins, or did he instead wish to complete the sacrifice, turning the entire temple into a massive votive pyre? It resembled one as we rushed down the hills to San Massimo: the entire hillside, dry grass, myrtle, and heather, was ablaze, the pale short flames flickering against the blue moonlit sky, and the old fortress stood out in black against the fire.

August 30.

August 30.

Of Dionea I can tell you nothing certain. We speak of her as little as we can. Some say they have seen her, on stormy nights, wandering among the cliffs: but a sailor-boy assures me, by all the holy things, that the day after the burning of the Castle Chapel—we never call it anything else—he met at dawn, off the island of Palmaria, beyond the Strait of Porto Venere, a Greek boat, with eyes painted on the prow, going full sail to sea, the men singing as she went. And against the mast, a robe of purple and gold about her, and a myrtle-wreath on her head, leaned Dionea, singing words in an unknown tongue, the white pigeons circling around her.

Of Dionea, I can’t tell you anything for sure. We try to talk about her as little as possible. Some people claim they've seen her wandering among the cliffs on stormy nights. But a sailor-boy insists, by all that's holy, that the day after the burning of the Castle Chapel—we always call it that—he encountered a Greek boat at dawn, off the island of Palmaria, just beyond the Strait of Porto Venere. The boat had eyes painted on the prow and was sailing full speed into the sea, with the crew singing as they went. Dionea leaned against the mast, wearing a robe of purple and gold and a myrtle wreath on her head, singing in a language no one understood, while white pigeons circled around her.

Oke of Okehurst

Oke of Okehurst

To COUNT PETER BOUTOURLINE, AT TAGANTCHA, GOVERNMENT OF KIEW, RUSSIA.

To Count Peter Boutourline, at Tagantcha, Government of Kiew, Russia.

MY DEAR BOUTOURLINE,

Do you remember my telling you, one afternoon that you sat upon the hearthstool at Florence, the story of Mrs. Oke of Okehurst?

Do you remember me telling you one afternoon when you were sitting on the hearthstool at Florence the story of Mrs. Oke of Okehurst?

You thought it a fantastic tale, you lover of fantastic things, and urged me to write it out at once, although I protested that, in such matters, to write is to exorcise, to dispel the charm; and that printers' ink chases away the ghosts that may pleasantly haunt us, as efficaciously as gallons of holy water.

You thought it was an amazing story, you lover of amazing things, and you insisted that I write it down immediately, even though I argued that, in these matters, writing is like an exorcism; it removes the magic. I said that printer's ink gets rid of the ghosts that might nicely linger with us, just as effectively as buckets of holy water.

But if, as I suspect, you will now put down any charm that story may have possessed to the way in which we had been working ourselves up, that firelight evening, with all manner of fantastic stuff—if, as I fear, the story of Mrs. Oke of Okehurst will strike you as stale and unprofitable—the sight of this little book will serve at least to remind you, in the middle of your Russian summer, that there is such a season as winter, such a place as Florence, and such a person as your friend,

But if, as I think, you now consider any appeal that story might have had to be due to how we were getting ourselves excited that evening by the fire with all sorts of imaginative things—if, as I worry, the story of Mrs. Oke of Okehurst seems dull and uninteresting to you—the sight of this little book will at least remind you, in the middle of your Russian summer, that there is a season called winter, a place named Florence, and a person who is your friend.

VERNON LEE

Kensington, July 1886.

Kensington, July 1886.

1

1

That sketch up there with the boy's cap? Yes; that's the same woman. I wonder whether you could guess who she was. A singular being, is she not? The most marvellous creature, quite, that I have ever met: a wonderful elegance, exotic, far-fetched, poignant; an artificial perverse sort of grace and research in every outline and movement and arrangement of head and neck, and hands and fingers. Here are a lot of pencil sketches I made while I was preparing to paint her portrait. Yes; there's nothing but her in the whole sketchbook. Mere scratches, but they may give some idea of her marvellous, fantastic kind of grace. Here she is leaning over the staircase, and here sitting in the swing. Here she is walking quickly out of the room. That's her head. You see she isn't really handsome; her forehead is too big, and her nose too short. This gives no idea of her. It was altogether a question of movement. Look at the strange cheeks, hollow and rather flat; well, when she smiled she had the most marvellous dimples here. There was something exquisite and uncanny about it. Yes; I began the picture, but it was never finished. I did the husband first. I wonder who has his likeness now? Help me to move these pictures away from the wall. Thanks. This is her portrait; a huge wreck. I don't suppose you can make much of it; it is merely blocked in, and seems quite mad. You see my idea was to make her leaning against a wall—there was one hung with yellow that seemed almost brown—so as to bring out the silhouette.

That sketch up there with the boy's cap? Yes, that's the same woman. I wonder if you could guess who she was. She's quite a unique person, isn’t she? The most amazing creature I’ve ever met: she has a wonderful elegance that's exotic, unusual, and deeply moving; an intentionally twisted kind of grace and detail in every outline, movement, and arrangement of her head, neck, hands, and fingers. Here are a bunch of pencil sketches I made while getting ready to paint her portrait. Yep, it's all just her in this entire sketchbook. Just rough sketches, but they might give you a sense of her incredible, whimsical kind of grace. Here she is leaning over the staircase, and here she is sitting in the swing. There she is, quickly walking out of the room. That’s her head. You can see she isn’t conventionally beautiful; her forehead is too big and her nose is too short. This doesn’t capture her essence at all. It was all about movement. Look at her strange cheeks, hollow and a bit flat; when she smiled, she had the most amazing dimples right there. There was something exquisite yet eerie about it. Yes, I started the painting, but I never finished it. I worked on her husband first. I wonder who has his likeness now? Help me move these pictures away from the wall. Thanks. This is her portrait; a huge mess. I don’t think you can make much sense of it; it’s just roughly blocked in and looks pretty crazy. You see, my idea was to have her leaning against a wall—there was one that was yellow, almost brown—so it would highlight her silhouette.

It was very singular I should have chosen that particular wall. It does look rather insane in this condition, but I like it; it has something of her. I would frame it and hang it up, only people would ask questions. Yes; you have guessed quite right—it is Mrs. Oke of Okehurst. I forgot you had relations in that part of the country; besides, I suppose the newspapers were full of it at the time. You didn't know that it all took place under my eyes? I can scarcely believe now that it did: it all seems so distant, vivid but unreal, like a thing of my own invention. It really was much stranger than any one guessed. People could no more understand it than they could understand her. I doubt whether any one ever understood Alice Oke besides myself. You mustn't think me unfeeling. She was a marvellous, weird, exquisite creature, but one couldn't feel sorry for her. I felt much sorrier for the wretched creature of a husband. It seemed such an appropriate end for her; I fancy she would have liked it could she have known. Ah! I shall never have another chance of painting such a portrait as I wanted. She seemed sent me from heaven or the other place. You have never heard the story in detail? Well, I don't usually mention it, because people are so brutally stupid or sentimental; but I'll tell it you. Let me see. It's too dark to paint any more today, so I can tell it you now. Wait; I must turn her face to the wall. Ah, she was a marvellous creature!

It was really strange that I picked that specific wall. It does look a bit crazy in this state, but I like it; it has something of her essence. I would frame it and hang it up, but people would start asking questions. Yes, you guessed it right—it’s Mrs. Oke of Okehurst. I forgot you had relatives in that area; besides, I guess the newspapers were all over it back then. You didn’t know it all happened right in front of me? I can hardly believe it now: it feels so far away, vivid but unreal, like something I made up. It truly was much stranger than anyone imagined. People couldn’t understand it any more than they could understand her. I doubt anyone ever really understood Alice Oke besides me. You shouldn’t think I’m heartless. She was an amazing, bizarre, beautiful person, but it was hard to feel sorry for her. I felt way more pity for that miserable husband of hers. It seemed like the perfect ending for her; I think she would have appreciated it if she'd known. Ah! I’ll never get another chance to create such a portrait as I envisioned. She felt like she was sent to me from heaven or maybe the other place. You’ve never heard the full story? Well, I don’t usually bring it up because people can be so brutally ignorant or overly sentimental; but I’ll share it with you. Let me think. It’s too dark to paint anymore today, so I can tell it to you now. Wait; I need to turn her face to the wall. Ah, she was a marvelous being!

2

2

You remember, three years ago, my telling you I had let myself in for painting a couple of Kentish squireen? I really could not understand what had possessed me to say yes to that man. A friend of mine had brought him one day to my studio—Mr. Oke of Okehurst, that was the name on his card. He was a very tall, very well-made, very good-looking young man, with a beautiful fair complexion, beautiful fair moustache, and beautifully fitting clothes; absolutely like a hundred other young men you can see any day in the Park, and absolutely uninteresting from the crown of his head to the tip of his boots. Mr. Oke, who had been a lieutenant in the Blues before his marriage, was evidently extremely uncomfortable on finding himself in a studio. He felt misgivings about a man who could wear a velvet coat in town, but at the same time he was nervously anxious not to treat me in the very least like a tradesman. He walked round my place, looked at everything with the most scrupulous attention, stammered out a few complimentary phrases, and then, looking at his friend for assistance, tried to come to the point, but failed. The point, which the friend kindly explained, was that Mr. Oke was desirous to know whether my engagements would allow of my painting him and his wife, and what my terms would be. The poor man blushed perfectly crimson during this explanation, as if he had come with the most improper proposal; and I noticed—the only interesting thing about him—a very odd nervous frown between his eyebrows, a perfect double gash,—a thing which usually means something abnormal: a mad-doctor of my acquaintance calls it the maniac-frown. When I had answered, he suddenly burst out into rather confused explanations: his wife—Mrs. Oke—had seen some of my—pictures—paintings—portraits—at the—the—what d'you call it?—Academy. She had—in short, they had made a very great impression upon her. Mrs. Oke had a great taste for art; she was, in short, extremely desirous of having her portrait and his painted by me, etcetera.

You remember, three years ago, when I told you I had agreed to paint a couple of Kentish squires? I really couldn't understand what made me say yes to that guy. A friend of mine brought him to my studio one day—Mr. Oke of Okehurst, that was the name on his card. He was a very tall, well-built, good-looking young man, with a beautiful fair complexion, a nice fair mustache, and perfectly tailored clothes; just like a hundred other young guys you see any day in the park, and completely uninteresting from head to toe. Mr. Oke, who had been a lieutenant in the Blues before he got married, clearly felt really uncomfortable being in a studio. He was uneasy about a guy who could wear a velvet coat in the city, but at the same time, he was nervously trying not to treat me like a tradesman at all. He walked around my studio, looked at everything with the utmost care, stammered out a few compliments, and then, glancing at his friend for help, attempted to get to the point but couldn’t. The point, which his friend kindly clarified, was that Mr. Oke wanted to know whether my schedule would allow me to paint him and his wife, and what my rates would be. The poor guy turned bright red during this explanation, as if he had come with the most inappropriate request; and I noticed—the only interesting thing about him—a very strange nervous frown between his eyebrows, a perfect double line—a thing that usually indicates something unusual: a mad doctor I know calls it the maniac frown. After I responded, he suddenly launched into kind of muddled explanations: his wife—Mrs. Oke—had seen some of my—pictures—paintings—portraits—at the—the—what do you call it?—Academy. She had—in short, they had made a really strong impression on her. Mrs. Oke had a great appreciation for art; she was, in short, extremely eager to have her portrait and his painted by me, etcetera.

"My wife," he suddenly added, "is a remarkable woman. I don't know whether you will think her handsome,—she isn't exactly, you know. But she's awfully strange," and Mr. Oke of Okehurst gave a little sigh and frowned that curious frown, as if so long a speech and so decided an expression of opinion had cost him a great deal.

"My wife," he suddenly added, "is an amazing woman. I don't know if you'll find her attractive—she's not exactly, you know. But she's really unusual," and Mr. Oke of Okehurst let out a small sigh and frowned that peculiar frown, as if saying so much and being so direct had taken a lot out of him.

It was a rather unfortunate moment in my career. A very influential sitter of mine—you remember the fat lady with the crimson curtain behind her?—had come to the conclusion or been persuaded that I had painted her old and vulgar, which, in fact, she was. Her whole clique had turned against me, the newspapers had taken up the matter, and for the moment I was considered as a painter to whose brushes no woman would trust her reputation. Things were going badly. So I snapped but too gladly at Mr. Oke's offer, and settled to go down to Okehurst at the end of a fortnight. But the door had scarcely closed upon my future sitter when I began to regret my rashness; and my disgust at the thought of wasting a whole summer upon the portrait of a totally uninteresting Kentish squire, and his doubtless equally uninteresting wife, grew greater and greater as the time for execution approached. I remember so well the frightful temper in which I got into the train for Kent, and the even more frightful temper in which I got out of it at the little station nearest to Okehurst. It was pouring floods. I felt a comfortable fury at the thought that my canvases would get nicely wetted before Mr. Oke's coachman had packed them on the top of the waggonette. It was just what served me right for coming to this confounded place to paint these confounded people. We drove off in the steady downpour. The roads were a mass of yellow mud; the endless flat grazing-grounds under the oak-trees, after having been burnt to cinders in a long drought, were turned into a hideous brown sop; the country seemed intolerably monotonous.

It was a pretty unfortunate moment in my career. A very influential client of mine—you remember the heavyset woman with the red curtain behind her?—had come to the conclusion or been convinced that I had painted her as old and tacky, which, to be honest, she was. Her entire social circle had turned against me, the newspapers picked up the story, and for the time being, I was seen as a painter no woman would trust with her reputation. Things were going badly. So I eagerly accepted Mr. Oke's offer and decided to head down to Okehurst at the end of two weeks. But just as I closed the door on my future client, I began to regret my impulsiveness; my frustration at the thought of wasting an entire summer painting a completely uninteresting Kentish landowner and his probably equally dull wife grew stronger as the time to start approached. I remember so well the dreadful mood I was in when I got on the train to Kent, and the even worse mood I was in when I got off at the little station closest to Okehurst. It was pouring rain. I felt a comforting rage at the thought that my canvases would get nicely soaked before Mr. Oke's coachman could load them on top of the wagonette. It was exactly what I deserved for coming to this wretched place to paint these wretched people. We drove off in the steady downpour. The roads were a mess of yellow mud; the endless flat pastures under the oak trees, after being scorched by a long drought, had turned into a nasty brown slush; the countryside seemed unbearably dull.

My spirits sank lower and lower. I began to meditate upon the modern Gothic country-house, with the usual amount of Morris furniture, Liberty rugs, and Mudie novels, to which I was doubtless being taken. My fancy pictured very vividly the five or six little Okes—that man certainly must have at least five children—the aunts, and sisters-in-law, and cousins; the eternal routine of afternoon tea and lawn-tennis; above all, it pictured Mrs. Oke, the bouncing, well-informed, model housekeeper, electioneering, charity-organising young lady, whom such an individual as Mr. Oke would regard in the light of a remarkable woman. And my spirit sank within me, and I cursed my avarice in accepting the commission, my spiritlessness in not throwing it over while yet there was time. We had meanwhile driven into a large park, or rather a long succession of grazing-grounds, dotted about with large oaks, under which the sheep were huddled together for shelter from the rain. In the distance, blurred by the sheets of rain, was a line of low hills, with a jagged fringe of bluish firs and a solitary windmill. It must be a good mile and a half since we had passed a house, and there was none to be seen in the distance—nothing but the undulation of sere grass, sopped brown beneath the huge blackish oak-trees, and whence arose, from all sides, a vague disconsolate bleating. At last the road made a sudden bend, and disclosed what was evidently the home of my sitter. It was not what I had expected. In a dip in the ground a large red-brick house, with the rounded gables and high chimney-stacks of the time of James I.,—a forlorn, vast place, set in the midst of the pasture-land, with no trace of garden before it, and only a few large trees indicating the possibility of one to the back; no lawn either, but on the other side of the sandy dip, which suggested a filled-up moat, a huge oak, short, hollow, with wreathing, blasted, black branches, upon which only a handful of leaves shook in the rain. It was not at all what I had pictured to myself the home of Mr. Oke of Okehurst.

My spirits kept sinking lower and lower. I started to think about the modern Gothic country house, complete with the usual Morris furniture, Liberty rugs, and Mudie novels, to which I was undoubtedly being taken. I vividly imagined the five or six little Okes—that man must have at least five kids—the aunts, sisters-in-law, and cousins; the never-ending routine of afternoon tea and lawn tennis; above all, I envisioned Mrs. Oke, the cheerful, well-informed, ideal housekeeper, the young lady involved in campaigning and organizing charities, whom someone like Mr. Oke would see as a remarkable woman. And my spirit sank even more, and I cursed my greed for accepting the job, my lack of courage for not rejecting it while I still had the chance. Meanwhile, we had driven into a large park, or more like a long series of grazing fields, dotted with large oak trees, where the sheep huddled together for shelter from the rain. In the distance, blurred by sheets of rain, was a line of low hills, with a jagged edge of bluish firs and a lone windmill. It had to be at least a mile and a half since we had passed a house, and there was none in sight—just the rolling expanse of dry grass, soaked brown beneath the large, dark oak trees, from which came a vague, miserable bleating. Finally, the road made a sudden turn and revealed what was clearly the home of my sitter. It was nothing like I had expected. Nestled in a dip in the land was a large red-brick house, with rounded gables and tall chimney stacks from the time of James I.,—a lonely, enormous place set in the midst of pastureland, with no sign of a garden in front and only a few big trees hinting at a possible garden in the back; there wasn’t even a lawn, but on the other side of the sandy dip, which looked like an old, filled-in moat, stood a huge oak tree, short and hollow, with twisting, blasted, black branches, upon which only a few leaves trembled in the rain. It was nothing like what I had imagined as the home of Mr. Oke of Okehurst.

My host received me in the hall, a large place, panelled and carved, hung round with portraits up to its curious ceiling—vaulted and ribbed like the inside of a ship's hull. He looked even more blond and pink and white, more absolutely mediocre in his tweed suit; and also, I thought, even more good-natured and duller. He took me into his study, a room hung round with whips and fishing-tackle in place of books, while my things were being carried upstairs. It was very damp, and a fire was smouldering. He gave the embers a nervous kick with his foot, and said, as he offered me a cigar—

My host welcomed me in the hall, a large space with paneled walls and intricate carvings, decorated with portraits that reached up to its unique ceiling—vaulted and ribbed like the inside of a ship's hull. He appeared even more blond and pink and white, more completely average in his tweed suit; and I also thought, even more good-hearted yet duller. He led me into his study, a room adorned with whips and fishing gear instead of books, while my belongings were taken upstairs. It was quite damp, and a fire was barely lit. He nervously kicked the embers with his foot and offered me a cigar—

"You must excuse my not introducing you at once to Mrs. Oke. My wife—in short, I believe my wife is asleep."

"You have to forgive me for not introducing you to Mrs. Oke right away. My wife—in short, I think my wife is asleep."

"Is Mrs. Oke unwell?" I asked, a sudden hope flashing across me that I might be off the whole matter.

"Is Mrs. Oke sick?" I asked, a sudden hope flashing through me that I could be free of the whole situation.

"Oh no! Alice is quite well; at least, quite as well as she usually is. My wife," he added, after a minute, and in a very decided tone, "does not enjoy very good health—a nervous constitution. Oh no! not at all ill, nothing at all serious, you know. Only nervous, the doctors say; mustn't be worried or excited, the doctors say; requires lots of repose,—that sort of thing."

"Oh no! Alice is doing fine; at least, as fine as she usually is. My wife," he added after a moment, in a very firm tone, "isn't in great health—a nervous constitution. Oh no! not really sick, nothing serious at all, you know. Just nervous, the doctors say; shouldn't be worried or excited, the doctors say; needs plenty of rest—that sort of thing."

There was a dead pause. This man depressed me, I knew not why. He had a listless, puzzled look, very much out of keeping with his evident admirable health and strength.

There was a dead pause. This guy brought me down, and I didn't know why. He had a blank, confused expression that didn't match his obvious good health and strength at all.

"I suppose you are a great sportsman?" I asked from sheer despair, nodding in the direction of the whips and guns and fishing-rods.

"I guess you're a really great athlete?" I asked out of pure frustration, nodding toward the whips, guns, and fishing rods.

"Oh no! not now. I was once. I have given up all that," he answered, standing with his back to the fire, and staring at the polar bear beneath his feet. "I—I have no time for all that now," he added, as if an explanation were due. "A married man—you know. Would you like to come up to your rooms?" he suddenly interrupted himself. "I have had one arranged for you to paint in. My wife said you would prefer a north light. If that one doesn't suit, you can have your choice of any other."

"Oh no! Not now. I used to be. I’ve given all that up," he replied, standing with his back to the fire and looking at the polar bear under his feet. "I—I don’t have time for all that now," he added, as if he owed an explanation. "A married man—you know. Would you like to head up to your rooms?" he suddenly interrupted himself. "I’ve had one set up for you to paint in. My wife said you’d prefer natural light from the north. If that one doesn’t work, you can pick any other."

I followed him out of the study, through the vast entrance-hall. In less than a minute I was no longer thinking of Mr. and Mrs. Oke and the boredom of doing their likeness; I was simply overcome by the beauty of this house, which I had pictured modern and philistine. It was, without exception, the most perfect example of an old English manor-house that I had ever seen; the most magnificent intrinsically, and the most admirably preserved. Out of the huge hall, with its immense fireplace of delicately carved and inlaid grey and black stone, and its rows of family portraits, reaching from the wainscoting to the oaken ceiling, vaulted and ribbed like a ship's hull, opened the wide, flat-stepped staircase, the parapet surmounted at intervals by heraldic monsters, the wall covered with oak carvings of coats-of-arms, leafage, and little mythological scenes, painted a faded red and blue, and picked out with tarnished gold, which harmonised with the tarnished blue and gold of the stamped leather that reached to the oak cornice, again delicately tinted and gilded. The beautifully damascened suits of court armour looked, without being at all rusty, as if no modern hand had ever touched them; the very rugs under foot were of sixteenth-century Persian make; the only things of to-day were the big bunches of flowers and ferns, arranged in majolica dishes upon the landings. Everything was perfectly silent; only from below came the chimes, silvery like an Italian palace fountain, of an old-fashioned clock.

I followed him out of the study and through the spacious entrance hall. In less than a minute, I stopped thinking about Mr. and Mrs. Oke and the dull task of capturing their likeness; I was simply overwhelmed by the beauty of this house, which I had previously imagined to be modern and unremarkable. It was, without a doubt, the most perfect example of an old English manor house I had ever seen; the most magnificent in essence and the most beautifully preserved. From the enormous hall, with its massive fireplace made of delicately carved grey and black stone, and its rows of family portraits stretching from the wainscoting to the oak ceiling, which was vaulted and ribbed like a ship's hull, a wide, gently sloped staircase emerged. The parapet was adorned at intervals with heraldic creatures, and the walls were covered with oak carvings of coats-of-arms, foliage, and small mythological scenes, painted in faded red and blue, highlighted with tarnished gold that complemented the faded blue and gold of the embossed leather reaching up to the oak cornice, which was also delicately tinted and gilded. The beautifully damasked suits of armor looked as if they had never been touched by modern hands, with no rust whatsoever; even the rugs underfoot were of sixteenth-century Persian origin. The only modern elements were the large bunches of flowers and ferns arranged in majolica dishes on the landings. Everything was perfectly silent; only the sound of the old-fashioned clock chimed from below, its notes silvery like the water of an Italian palace fountain.

It seemed to me that I was being led through the palace of the Sleeping
Beauty.

It felt like I was being guided through the palace of Sleeping Beauty.

"What a magnificent house!" I exclaimed as I followed my host through a long corridor, also hung with leather, wainscoted with carvings, and furnished with big wedding coffers, and chairs that looked as if they came out of some Vandyck portrait. In my mind was the strong impression that all this was natural, spontaneous—that it had about it nothing of the picturesqueness which swell studios have taught to rich and aesthetic houses. Mr. Oke misunderstood me.

"What a beautiful house!" I said as I followed my host down a long hallway, also adorned with leather, featuring carved wainscoting, and filled with large wedding trunks and chairs that looked like they belonged in a painting by Vandyck. I couldn’t shake the feeling that everything here felt genuine and effortless—it didn’t have that staged look that posh design studios usually give to wealthy and stylish homes. Mr. Oke misunderstood me.

"It is a nice old place," he said, "but it's too large for us. You see, my wife's health does not allow of our having many guests; and there are no children."

"It’s a nice old place," he said, "but it’s too big for us. You see, my wife’s health doesn’t allow us to have many guests, and there are no kids."

I thought I noticed a vague complaint in his voice; and he evidently was afraid there might have seemed something of the kind, for he added immediately—

I thought I caught a hint of irritation in his voice; and he clearly was worried there might have been something like that, so he quickly added—

"I don't care for children one jackstraw, you know, myself; can't understand how any one can, for my part."

"I don't care about kids at all, you know; I can't understand how anyone can, honestly."

If ever a man went out of his way to tell a lie, I said to myself, Mr. Oke of Okehurst was doing so at the present moment.

If there was ever a time a guy went out of his way to lie, I thought to myself, Mr. Oke of Okehurst was doing just that right now.

When he had left me in one of the two enormous rooms that were allotted to me, I threw myself into an arm-chair and tried to focus the extraordinary imaginative impression which this house had given me.

When he left me in one of the two huge rooms assigned to me, I sank into an armchair and tried to capture the amazing imaginative impression that this house had left on me.

I am very susceptible to such impressions; and besides the sort of spasm of imaginative interest sometimes given to me by certain rare and eccentric personalities, I know nothing more subduing than the charm, quieter and less analytic, of any sort of complete and out-of-the-common-run sort of house. To sit in a room like the one I was sitting in, with the figures of the tapestry glimmering grey and lilac and purple in the twilight, the great bed, columned and curtained, looming in the middle, and the embers reddening beneath the overhanging mantelpiece of inlaid Italian stonework, a vague scent of rose-leaves and spices, put into the china bowls by the hands of ladies long since dead, while the clock downstairs sent up, every now and then, its faint silvery tune of forgotten days, filled the room;—to do this is a special kind of voluptuousness, peculiar and complex and indescribable, like the half-drunkenness of opium or haschisch, and which, to be conveyed to others in any sense as I feel it, would require a genius, subtle and heady, like that of Baudelaire.

I’m very sensitive to impressions like this; and apart from the brief bursts of imaginative interest I sometimes get from unique and unusual personalities, I know nothing more captivating than the quiet, less analytical charm of an extraordinary, distinctive house. Sitting in a room like the one I was in, with the figures on the tapestry shimmering in grey, lilac, and purple in the twilight, the grand, columned, and curtained bed standing in the center, and the glowing embers beneath the intricate Italian stone mantelpiece, filled the space with a faint scent of rose petals and spices, placed in china bowls by women long gone, while the clock downstairs chimed its soft, silvery tune of forgotten times. Experiencing this is a special kind of indulgence, unique, intricate, and hard to describe, like a slight intoxication from opium or hashish, which, to convey to others as I feel it, would need a genius, both subtle and intoxicating, like Baudelaire's.

After I had dressed for dinner I resumed my place in the arm-chair, and resumed also my reverie, letting all these impressions of the past—which seemed faded like the figures in the arras, but still warm like the embers in the fireplace, still sweet and subtle like the perfume of the dead rose-leaves and broken spices in the china bowls—permeate me and go to my head. Of Oke and Oke's wife I did not think; I seemed quite alone, isolated from the world, separated from it in this exotic enjoyment.

After I got dressed for dinner, I returned to my spot in the armchair and fell back into my daydream, allowing all these memories from the past—which felt faded like the designs on the tapestries, yet still warm like the embers in the fireplace, and still fragrant and delicate like the scent of dried rose petals and crushed spices in the china bowls—to fill my mind. I didn’t think about Oke or Oke’s wife; I felt completely alone, cut off from the world, lost in this pleasurable escape.

Gradually the embers grew paler; the figures in the tapestry more shadowy; the columned and curtained bed loomed out vaguer; the room seemed to fill with greyness; and my eyes wandered to the mullioned bow-window, beyond whose panes, between whose heavy stonework, stretched a greyish-brown expanse of sore and sodden park grass, dotted with big oaks; while far off, behind a jagged fringe of dark Scotch firs, the wet sky was suffused with the blood-red of the sunset. Between the falling of the raindrops from the ivy outside, there came, fainter or sharper, the recurring bleating of the lambs separated from their mothers, a forlorn, quavering, eerie little cry.

Gradually, the embers faded; the figures in the tapestry became more indistinct; the columned and curtained bed appeared more vague; the room filled with a dull greyness. My eyes drifted to the mullioned bow-window, where beyond the panes, framed by heavy stonework, stretched a dull brownish-grey expanse of wet, beaten park grass, dotted with large oaks. In the distance, behind a jagged line of dark Scotch firs, the damp sky glowed with a blood-red sunset. Amid the raindrops falling from the ivy outside, I could hear the faint or sharp, recurring bleating of lambs separated from their mothers—a lonely, trembling, eerie little cry.

I started up at a sudden rap at my door.

I jumped up at a sudden knock on my door.

"Haven't you heard the gong for dinner?" asked Mr. Oke's voice.

"Haven't you heard the dinner bell?" asked Mr. Oke's voice.

I had completely forgotten his existence.

I had totally forgotten he existed.

3

3

I feel that I cannot possibly reconstruct my earliest impressions of Mrs. Oke. My recollection of them would be entirely coloured by my subsequent knowledge of her; whence I conclude that I could not at first have experienced the strange interest and admiration which that extraordinary woman very soon excited in me. Interest and admiration, be it well understood, of a very unusual kind, as she was herself a very unusual kind of woman; and I, if you choose, am a rather unusual kind of man. But I can explain that better anon.

I feel like I can’t really recreate my first impressions of Mrs. Oke. My memories of them would be completely influenced by what I learned about her later; so I conclude that I probably didn’t initially feel the strange interest and admiration that this extraordinary woman quickly inspired in me. It’s important to clarify that my interest and admiration were quite unusual, just as she was truly an extraordinary woman; and, if you prefer, I’m a rather unusual kind of guy myself. But I’ll explain that better later.

This much is certain, that I must have been immeasurably surprised at finding my hostess and future sitter so completely unlike everything I had anticipated. Or no—now I come to think of it, I scarcely felt surprised at all; or if I did, that shock of surprise could have lasted but an infinitesimal part of a minute. The fact is, that, having once seen Alice Oke in the reality, it was quite impossible to remember that one could have fancied her at all different: there was something so complete, so completely unlike every one else, in her personality, that she seemed always to have been present in one's consciousness, although present, perhaps, as an enigma.

This much is clear: I must have been incredibly surprised to find my hostess and future sitter completely different from what I had expected. Or no—now that I think about it, I hardly felt surprised at all; or if I did, that feeling of surprise could have lasted for just a tiny moment. The truth is, after seeing Alice Oke in person, it was impossible to remember that I could have imagined her any other way: there was something so unique, so entirely unlike anyone else, in her personality that she felt as though she had always been a part of my awareness, even if that awareness was, perhaps, a puzzle.

Let me try and give you some notion of her: not that first impression, whatever it may have been, but the absolute reality of her as I gradually learned to see it. To begin with, I must repeat and reiterate over and over again, that she was, beyond all comparison, the most graceful and exquisite woman I have ever seen, but with a grace and an exquisiteness that had nothing to do with any preconceived notion or previous experience of what goes by these names: grace and exquisiteness recognised at once as perfect, but which were seen in her for the first, and probably, I do believe, for the last time. It is conceivable, is it not, that once in a thousand years there may arise a combination of lines, a system of movements, an outline, a gesture, which is new, unprecedented, and yet hits off exactly our desires for beauty and rareness? She was very tall; and I suppose people would have called her thin. I don't know, for I never thought about her as a body—bones, flesh, that sort of thing; but merely as a wonderful series of lines, and a wonderful strangeness of personality. Tall and slender, certainly, and with not one item of what makes up our notion of a well-built woman. She was as straight—I mean she had as little of what people call figure—as a bamboo; her shoulders were a trifle high, and she had a decided stoop; her arms and her shoulders she never once wore uncovered. But this bamboo figure of hers had a suppleness and a stateliness, a play of outline with every step she took, that I can't compare to anything else; there was in it something of the peacock and something also of the stag; but, above all, it was her own. I wish I could describe her. I wish, alas!—I wish, I wish, I have wished a hundred thousand times—I could paint her, as I see her now, if I shut my eyes—even if it were only a silhouette. There! I see her so plainly, walking slowly up and down a room, the slight highness of her shoulders; just completing the exquisite arrangement of lines made by the straight supple back, the long exquisite neck, the head, with the hair cropped in short pale curls, always drooping a little, except when she would suddenly throw it back, and smile, not at me, nor at any one, nor at anything that had been said, but as if she alone had suddenly seen or heard something, with the strange dimple in her thin, pale cheeks, and the strange whiteness in her full, wide-opened eyes: the moment when she had something of the stag in her movement. But where is the use of talking about her? I don't believe, you know, that even the greatest painter can show what is the real beauty of a very beautiful woman in the ordinary sense: Titian's and Tintoretto's women must have been miles handsomer than they have made them. Something—and that the very essence—always escapes, perhaps because real beauty is as much a thing in time—a thing like music, a succession, a series—as in space. Mind you, I am speaking of a woman beautiful in the conventional sense. Imagine, then, how much more so in the case of a woman like Alice Oke; and if the pencil and brush, imitating each line and tint, can't succeed, how is it possible to give even the vaguest notion with mere wretched words—words possessing only a wretched abstract meaning, an impotent conventional association? To make a long story short, Mrs. Oke of Okehurst was, in my opinion, to the highest degree exquisite and strange,—an exotic creature, whose charm you can no more describe than you could bring home the perfume of some newly discovered tropical flower by comparing it with the scent of a cabbage-rose or a lily.

Let me try to give you an idea of her: not the first impression, whatever that may have been, but the true reality of her as I slowly came to see it. First of all, I have to repeat over and over that she was, without a doubt, the most graceful and beautiful woman I've ever seen, but with a grace and beauty that had nothing to do with any preconceived idea or previous experience of what those terms mean: grace and beauty that were instantly recognized as perfect, yet seen in her for the first, and probably last, time. Is it possible, after all, that once in a thousand years, there emerges a combination of lines, a set of movements, an outline, a gesture that is new, unprecedented, and yet aligns perfectly with our desires for beauty and rarity? She was very tall; and I suppose people would have called her thin. I can’t say for sure, since I never thought of her as just a body—bones, flesh, that sort of thing—but merely as a stunning series of lines and a wonderfully unique personality. Tall and slender, definitely, and lacking all the traits typically associated with a well-built woman. She was as straight—I mean she had very little of what people call a figure—as a bamboo; her shoulders were slightly elevated, and she had a noticeable stoop; her arms and shoulders were never seen uncovered. But this bamboo-like figure of hers had a grace and elegance, a play of lines with every step she took, that I can’t compare to anything else; there was something of a peacock in it and something of a stag; but above all, it was uniquely hers. I wish I could describe her. I wish, oh how I wish—I’ve wished a hundred thousand times—I could paint her as I see her now when I close my eyes—even if it were just a silhouette. There! I see her so clearly, walking slowly back and forth in a room, the slight elevation of her shoulders; just finishing the exquisite arrangement of lines created by her straight, supple back, long elegant neck, and her head, with hair cropped into short, pale curls that always drooped a little, except when she suddenly tossed it back and smiled, not at me, nor at anyone, nor at anything that had been said, but as if she alone had seen or heard something unexpected, with that strange dimple in her thin, pale cheeks and the unusual brightness in her wide-open eyes: the moment when she had something of the stag in her movement. But what’s the point in talking about her? I don’t think even the greatest painter can truly capture the real beauty of a very beautiful woman in the ordinary sense: Titian's and Tintoretto's women must have been far more beautiful than they painted them. Something—and that very essence—always eludes capture, perhaps because real beauty is as much a matter of time—a thing like music, a sequence, a series—as it is of space. Just to clarify, I’m talking about a woman beautiful in the conventional sense. Now imagine how much more so for a woman like Alice Oke; and if a pencil and brush can’t replicate every line and shade, how can mere words—words that are only shadows of true meaning and fall flat in conventional associations—ever convey even the slightest hint? To sum it up, Mrs. Oke of Okehurst was, in my opinion, the highest degree of exquisite and unusual—a rare creature whose charm you can’t describe any more than you could capture the scent of a newly discovered tropical flower by comparing it to that of a cabbage rose or a lily.

That first dinner was gloomy enough. Mr. Oke—Oke of Okehurst, as the people down there called him—was horribly shy, consumed with a fear of making a fool of himself before me and his wife, I then thought. But that sort of shyness did not wear off; and I soon discovered that, although it was doubtless increased by the presence of a total stranger, it was inspired in Oke, not by me, but by his wife. He would look every now and then as if he were going to make a remark, and then evidently restrain himself, and remain silent. It was very curious to see this big, handsome, manly young fellow, who ought to have had any amount of success with women, suddenly stammer and grow crimson in the presence of his own wife. Nor was it the consciousness of stupidity; for when you got him alone, Oke, although always slow and timid, had a certain amount of ideas, and very defined political and social views, and a certain childlike earnestness and desire to attain certainty and truth which was rather touching. On the other hand, Oke's singular shyness was not, so far as I could see, the result of any kind of bullying on his wife's part. You can always detect, if you have any observation, the husband or the wife who is accustomed to be snubbed, to be corrected, by his or her better-half: there is a self-consciousness in both parties, a habit of watching and fault-finding, of being watched and found fault with. This was clearly not the case at Okehurst. Mrs. Oke evidently did not trouble herself about her husband in the very least; he might say or do any amount of silly things without rebuke or even notice; and he might have done so, had he chosen, ever since his wedding-day. You felt that at once. Mrs. Oke simply passed over his existence. I cannot say she paid much attention to any one's, even to mine. At first I thought it an affectation on her part—for there was something far-fetched in her whole appearance, something suggesting study, which might lead one to tax her with affectation at first; she was dressed in a strange way, not according to any established aesthetic eccentricity, but individually, strangely, as if in the clothes of an ancestress of the seventeenth century. Well, at first I thought it a kind of pose on her part, this mixture of extreme graciousness and utter indifference which she manifested towards me. She always seemed to be thinking of something else; and although she talked quite sufficiently, and with every sign of superior intelligence, she left the impression of having been as taciturn as her husband.

That first dinner was pretty gloomy. Mr. Oke—Oke of Okehurst, as the locals called him—was incredibly shy, worried about making a fool of himself in front of me and his wife, or so I thought. But that kind of shyness didn’t fade; I soon realized that, while it was definitely heightened by having a complete stranger around, it was actually caused by his wife, not me. He would occasionally look like he was about to say something but then clearly hold back and stay quiet. It was really interesting to see this big, attractive, manly young guy, who should have had no trouble with women, suddenly stutter and turn red in front of his own wife. And it wasn’t just because he felt stupid; when you got him alone, Oke, although slow and shy, had plenty of ideas, strong political and social views, and a touching, childlike eagerness to find certainty and truth. On the flip side, Oke's unusual shyness didn’t seem to come from his wife being demanding. You can usually tell if a husband or wife is used to being put down or corrected by their partner; there’s a self-consciousness in both, a tendency to watch for criticism and to feel criticized. That clearly wasn’t the vibe at Okehurst. Mrs. Oke seemed completely unconcerned with her husband; he could say or do plenty of silly things without being rebuked or even noticed, and he could have done so since the day they got married. You could feel that immediately. Mrs. Oke simply overlooked him. I can’t say she paid much attention to anyone, even to me. At first, I thought she was just putting on an act—there was something a bit odd about her overall vibe, something that suggested she was trying too hard, which might make you think she was being affected, especially since she was dressed in a strange way, not according to any known aesthetic quirk, but rather uniquely, as if she were wearing the clothes of a 17th-century ancestor. Initially, I thought it was some sort of pose, this mix of extreme graciousness and total indifference she showed toward me. She always seemed to be thinking of something else; and although she talked enough and appeared quite intelligent, she left the impression of being just as quiet as her husband.

In the beginning, in the first few days of my stay at Okehurst, I imagined that Mrs. Oke was a highly superior sort of flirt; and that her absent manner, her look, while speaking to you, into an invisible distance, her curious irrelevant smile, were so many means of attracting and baffling adoration. I mistook it for the somewhat similar manners of certain foreign women—it is beyond English ones—which mean, to those who can understand, "pay court to me." But I soon found I was mistaken. Mrs. Oke had not the faintest desire that I should pay court to her; indeed she did not honour me with sufficient thought for that; and I, on my part, began to be too much interested in her from another point of view to dream of such a thing. I became aware, not merely that I had before me the most marvellously rare and exquisite and baffling subject for a portrait, but also one of the most peculiar and enigmatic of characters. Now that I look back upon it, I am tempted to think that the psychological peculiarity of that woman might be summed up in an exorbitant and absorbing interest in herself—a Narcissus attitude—curiously complicated with a fantastic imagination, a sort of morbid day-dreaming, all turned inwards, and with no outer characteristic save a certain restlessness, a perverse desire to surprise and shock, to surprise and shock more particularly her husband, and thus be revenged for the intense boredom which his want of appreciation inflicted upon her.

In the beginning, during the first few days of my time at Okehurst, I thought Mrs. Oke was a particularly sophisticated flirt; that her distant demeanor, her gaze drifting while talking to you, and her oddly irrelevant smile were all ways to attract and bewilder admiration. I mistook it for the somewhat similar behavior of certain foreign women—something not found in English ones—which signals, to those who understand, "flirt with me." But I quickly realized I was wrong. Mrs. Oke had no desire for me to pursue her; in fact, she didn’t even think of me enough for that, and I, for my part, was starting to become too interested in her from a different perspective to even consider it. I recognized that I was faced with not just a remarkably rare and exquisite subject for a portrait, but also one of the most unique and puzzling characters. Looking back, I’m tempted to summarize the psychological complexity of that woman as an excessive and consuming fascination with herself—a Narcissus-like attitude—strangely mixed with a vivid imagination and a kind of morbid daydreaming, all focused inward, with no outward signs except for a certain restlessness and a twisted urge to surprise and shock, particularly aimed at her husband, as a way to get back at him for the intense boredom his lack of appreciation caused her.

I got to understand this much little by little, yet I did not seem to have really penetrated the something mysterious about Mrs. Oke. There was a waywardness, a strangeness, which I felt but could not explain—a something as difficult to define as the peculiarity of her outward appearance, and perhaps very closely connected therewith. I became interested in Mrs. Oke as if I had been in love with her; and I was not in the least in love. I neither dreaded parting from her, nor felt any pleasure in her presence. I had not the smallest wish to please or to gain her notice. But I had her on the brain. I pursued her, her physical image, her psychological explanation, with a kind of passion which filled my days, and prevented my ever feeling dull. The Okes lived a remarkably solitary life. There were but few neighbours, of whom they saw but little; and they rarely had a guest in the house. Oke himself seemed every now and then seized with a sense of responsibility towards me. He would remark vaguely, during our walks and after-dinner chats, that I must find life at Okehurst horribly dull; his wife's health had accustomed him to solitude, and then also his wife thought the neighbours a bore. He never questioned his wife's judgment in these matters. He merely stated the case as if resignation were quite simple and inevitable; yet it seemed to me, sometimes, that this monotonous life of solitude, by the side of a woman who took no more heed of him than of a table or chair, was producing a vague depression and irritation in this young man, so evidently cut out for a cheerful, commonplace life. I often wondered how he could endure it at all, not having, as I had, the interest of a strange psychological riddle to solve, and of a great portrait to paint. He was, I found, extremely good,—the type of the perfectly conscientious young Englishman, the sort of man who ought to have been the Christian soldier kind of thing; devout, pure-minded, brave, incapable of any baseness, a little intellectually dense, and puzzled by all manner of moral scruples. The condition of his tenants and of his political party—he was a regular Kentish Tory—lay heavy on his mind. He spent hours every day in his study, doing the work of a land agent and a political whip, reading piles of reports and newspapers and agricultural treatises; and emerging for lunch with piles of letters in his hand, and that odd puzzled look in his good healthy face, that deep gash between his eyebrows, which my friend the mad-doctor calls the maniac-frown. It was with this expression of face that I should have liked to paint him; but I felt that he would not have liked it, that it was more fair to him to represent him in his mere wholesome pink and white and blond conventionality. I was perhaps rather unconscientious about the likeness of Mr. Oke; I felt satisfied to paint it no matter how, I mean as regards character, for my whole mind was swallowed up in thinking how I should paint Mrs. Oke, how I could best transport on to canvas that singular and enigmatic personality. I began with her husband, and told her frankly that I must have much longer to study her. Mr. Oke couldn't understand why it should be necessary to make a hundred and one pencil-sketches of his wife before even determining in what attitude to paint her; but I think he was rather pleased to have an opportunity of keeping me at Okehurst; my presence evidently broke the monotony of his life. Mrs. Oke seemed perfectly indifferent to my staying, as she was perfectly indifferent to my presence. Without being rude, I never saw a woman pay so little attention to a guest; she would talk with me sometimes by the hour, or rather let me talk to her, but she never seemed to be listening. She would lie back in a big seventeenth-century armchair while I played the piano, with that strange smile every now and then in her thin cheeks, that strange whiteness in her eyes; but it seemed a matter of indifference whether my music stopped or went on. In my portrait of her husband she did not take, or pretend to take, the very faintest interest; but that was nothing to me. I did not want Mrs. Oke to think me interesting; I merely wished to go on studying her.

I gradually started to understand this, but I still felt like I hadn’t really figured out the mysteriousness of Mrs. Oke. There was a waywardness, a strangeness, that I sensed but couldn’t explain—something as hard to define as her peculiar looks, and probably closely linked to them. I became fascinated by Mrs. Oke as if I were in love with her, though I definitely wasn’t. I didn’t dread leaving her, nor did I enjoy being around her. I had zero desire to please her or get her attention. But I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I was consumed by her physical presence and the psychological puzzle she presented, which filled my days and kept me from feeling bored. The Okes led a very isolated life. They had few neighbors, whom they barely saw, and rarely had guests over. Oke sometimes seemed to feel a sense of responsibility towards me. During our walks and after-dinner conversations, he would vaguely suggest that I must find life at Okehurst terribly dull; his wife’s health had accustomed him to solitude, and she found the neighbors boring. He never questioned his wife’s judgment on these matters. He simply stated things as though acceptance was easy and inevitable; yet, sometimes it felt to me that this monotonous solitude, beside a woman who barely acknowledged him, was causing a vague sadness and annoyance in this young man who seemed perfectly suited for a cheerful, ordinary life. I often wondered how he could stand it without, like me, the interest of solving a strange psychological mystery and creating a great portrait. I found him to be extremely good—a perfect example of the diligent young Englishman, the kind of man who would have made a great Christian soldier; pious, pure-hearted, brave, incapable of any meanness, a bit intellectually slow, and perplexed by various moral dilemmas. The welfare of his tenants and his political party—he was a dedicated Kentish Tory—weighed heavily on his mind. He spent hours each day in his study, doing the work of a land agent and political whip, reading piles of reports, newspapers, and agricultural writings; and emerging for lunch with stacks of letters in hand and that odd puzzled look on his healthy face, characterized by the deep line between his eyebrows, which my friend the mad doctor calls the maniac-frown. That was the expression I would have liked to paint him with, but I felt he wouldn’t like it; it would be fairer to depict him in his simple wholesome pink and white and blond conventionality. I might have been a bit negligent about capturing Mr. Oke’s likeness; I was more concerned with how to paint Mrs. Oke and how to best express that unique and enigmatic personality on canvas. I started with her husband and honestly told her that I needed much longer to study her. Mr. Oke didn’t understand why I needed to create a hundred and one sketch studies of his wife before deciding how to paint her, but I think he was somewhat pleased to have the opportunity to keep me at Okehurst; my presence clearly broke the monotony of his life. Mrs. Oke seemed totally indifferent to my being there, just as she was indifferent to my presence. Without being rude, I had never seen a woman pay so little attention to a guest; she would sometimes let me talk to her for hours, but it never felt like she was actually listening. She would relax in a big seventeenth-century armchair while I played the piano, with that odd smile occasionally appearing on her thin cheeks, that strange whiteness in her eyes; but it seemed like it didn’t matter to her whether my music continued or stopped. In my portrait of her husband, she didn’t show the slightest interest, nor did she pretend to. But that didn’t bother me. I didn’t want Mrs. Oke to think I was interesting; I just wanted to keep studying her.

The first time that Mrs. Oke seemed to become at all aware of my presence as distinguished from that of the chairs and tables, the dogs that lay in the porch, or the clergyman or lawyer or stray neighbour who was occasionally asked to dinner, was one day—I might have been there a week—when I chanced to remark to her upon the very singular resemblance that existed between herself and the portrait of a lady that hung in the hall with the ceiling like a ship's hull. The picture in question was a full length, neither very good nor very bad, probably done by some stray Italian of the early seventeenth century. It hung in a rather dark corner, facing the portrait, evidently painted to be its companion, of a dark man, with a somewhat unpleasant expression of resolution and efficiency, in a black Vandyck dress. The two were evidently man and wife; and in the corner of the woman's portrait were the words, "Alice Oke, daughter of Virgil Pomfret, Esq., and wife to Nicholas Oke of Okehurst," and the date 1626—"Nicholas Oke" being the name painted in the corner of the small portrait. The lady was really wonderfully like the present Mrs. Oke, at least so far as an indifferently painted portrait of the early days of Charles I, can be like a living woman of the nineteenth century. There were the same strange lines of figure and face, the same dimples in the thin cheeks, the same wide-opened eyes, the same vague eccentricity of expression, not destroyed even by the feeble painting and conventional manner of the time. One could fancy that this woman had the same walk, the same beautiful line of nape of the neck and stooping head as her descendant; for I found that Mr. and Mrs. Oke, who were first cousins, were both descended from that Nicholas Oke and that Alice, daughter of Virgil Pomfret. But the resemblance was heightened by the fact that, as I soon saw, the present Mrs. Oke distinctly made herself up to look like her ancestress, dressing in garments that had a seventeenth-century look; nay, that were sometimes absolutely copied from this portrait.

The first time Mrs. Oke seemed to notice my presence, as different from the chairs and tables, the dogs lounging in the porch, or the clergyman, lawyer, or the random neighbor occasionally invited to dinner, was one day—I might have been there a week—when I happened to mention to her the striking resemblance between her and a portrait of a lady that hung in the hall with a ceiling like a ship's hull. The portrait was a full-length one, neither great nor terrible, probably done by some unknown Italian from the early seventeenth century. It was situated in a somewhat dark corner, facing a companion portrait of a dark man, who had a somewhat unpleasant look of determination and capability, dressed in a black Vandyck suit. The two were clearly husband and wife; and in the corner of the woman’s portrait were the words, "Alice Oke, daughter of Virgil Pomfret, Esq., and wife to Nicholas Oke of Okehurst," along with the date 1626—"Nicholas Oke" being the name written in the corner of the smaller portrait. The lady remarkably resembled the current Mrs. Oke, at least as much as a poorly painted portrait from the early days of Charles I can resemble a living woman from the nineteenth century. There were the same distinct features and face shape, the same dimples in the thin cheeks, the same wide-open eyes, and the same vague eccentricity in expression, not diminished by the weak painting and conventional style of the time. One could imagine that this woman shared the same walk, the same elegant curve of her neck, and stooping head as her descendant; for I learned that Mr. and Mrs. Oke, who were first cousins, both descended from that Nicholas Oke and Alice, daughter of Virgil Pomfret. But the resemblance was even stronger because, as I soon noticed, the current Mrs. Oke distinctly styled herself to look like her ancestor, wearing outfits that had a seventeenth-century vibe; in fact, some were outright copies from this portrait.

"You think I am like her," answered Mrs. Oke dreamily to my remark, and her eyes wandered off to that unseen something, and the faint smile dimpled her thin cheeks.

"You think I’m like her," Mrs. Oke replied dreamily to my comment, her eyes drifting off to something I couldn't see, and a faint smile appeared on her thin cheeks.

"You are like her, and you know it. I may even say you wish to be like her,
Mrs. Oke," I answered, laughing.

"You’re just like her, and you know it. I might even say you want to be like her,
Mrs. Oke," I replied, laughing.

"Perhaps I do."

"Maybe I do."

And she looked in the direction of her husband. I noticed that he had an expression of distinct annoyance besides that frown of his.

And she looked over at her husband. I could see that he had a look of clear irritation along with his usual frown.

"Isn't it true that Mrs. Oke tries to look like that portrait?" I asked, with a perverse curiosity.

"Isn't it true that Mrs. Oke tries to look like that portrait?" I asked, with a twisted curiosity.

"Oh, fudge!" he exclaimed, rising from his chair and walking nervously to the window. "It's all nonsense, mere nonsense. I wish you wouldn't, Alice."

"Oh, come on!" he said, getting up from his chair and pacing anxiously to the window. "It's all ridiculous, just ridiculous. I wish you wouldn't do this, Alice."

"Wouldn't what?" asked Mrs. Oke, with a sort of contemptuous indifference. "If I am like that Alice Oke, why I am; and I am very pleased any one should think so. She and her husband are just about the only two members of our family—our most flat, stale, and unprofitable family—that ever were in the least degree interesting."

"Wouldn't what?" asked Mrs. Oke, with a kind of disdainful indifference. "If I'm like that Alice Oke, then sure, I am; and I'm actually happy for anyone to think that. She and her husband are pretty much the only two members of our family—our incredibly dull, stale, and unremarkable family—that have ever been even mildly interesting."

Oke grew crimson, and frowned as if in pain.

Oke turned red and frowned like he was in pain.

"I don't see why you should abuse our family, Alice," he said. "Thank God, our people have always been honourable and upright men and women!"

"I don't understand why you need to mistreat our family, Alice," he said. "Thank goodness our people have always been honorable and decent men and women!"

"Excepting always Nicholas Oke and Alice his wife, daughter of Virgil
Pomfret, Esq.," she answered, laughing, as he strode out into the park.

"Excepting always Nicholas Oke and his wife Alice, daughter of Virgil
Pomfret, Esq.," she replied, laughing, as he walked out into the park.

"How childish he is!" she exclaimed when we were alone. "He really minds, really feels disgraced by what our ancestors did two centuries and a half ago. I do believe William would have those two portraits taken down and burned if he weren't afraid of me and ashamed of the neighbours. And as it is, these two people really are the only two members of our family that ever were in the least interesting. I will tell you the story some day."

"How childish he is!" she exclaimed when we were alone. "He really cares, really feels embarrassed by what our ancestors did two and a half centuries ago. I honestly believe William would have those two portraits taken down and burned if he weren't worried about me and ashamed of the neighbors. And as it is, these two people are truly the only interesting members of our family ever. I'll tell you the story someday."

As it was, the story was told to me by Oke himself. The next day, as we were taking our morning walk, he suddenly broke a long silence, laying about him all the time at the sere grasses with the hooked stick that he carried, like the conscientious Kentishman he was, for the purpose of cutting down his and other folk's thistles.

As it happened, Oke told me the story himself. The next day, while we were on our morning walk, he suddenly interrupted a long silence, swinging the hooked stick he carried at the dry grasses, just like the diligent Kentishman he was, to chop down his thistles and those of others.

"I fear you must have thought me very ill-mannered towards my wife yesterday," he said shyly; "and indeed I know I was."

"I’m afraid you must have thought I was really rude to my wife yesterday," he said shyly; "and honestly, I know I was."

Oke was one of those chivalrous beings to whom every woman, every wife—and his own most of all—appeared in the light of something holy. "But—but—I have a prejudice which my wife does not enter into, about raking up ugly things in one's own family. I suppose Alice thinks that it is so long ago that it has really got no connection with us; she thinks of it merely as a picturesque story. I daresay many people feel like that; in short, I am sure they do, otherwise there wouldn't be such lots of discreditable family traditions afloat. But I feel as if it were all one whether it was long ago or not; when it's a question of one's own people, I would rather have it forgotten. I can't understand how people can talk about murders in their families, and ghosts, and so forth."

Oke was one of those noble guys who saw every woman, every wife—and especially his own—as something sacred. "But—but—I have a bias that my wife doesn't share, about digging up ugly things within our own family. I guess Alice thinks it was so long ago that it really doesn’t connect with us; she sees it just as a colorful story. I'm sure many people feel that way; in fact, I know they do, or else there wouldn't be so many embarrassing family stories out there. But I feel like it doesn’t matter if it was a long time ago or not; when it comes to your own people, I’d prefer it be left in the past. I can't understand how people can talk about murders in their families, and ghosts, and all that."

"Have you any ghosts at Okehurst, by the way?" I asked. The place seemed as if it required some to complete it.

"Do you have any ghosts at Okehurst, by the way?" I asked. The place felt like it needed some to really complete it.

"I hope not," answered Oke gravely.

"I hope not," Oke replied seriously.

His gravity made me smile.

His seriousness made me smile.

"Why, would you dislike it if there were?" I asked.

"Why would you dislike it if there was?" I asked.

"If there are such things as ghosts," he replied, "I don't think they should be taken lightly. God would not permit them to be, except as a warning or a punishment."

"If there are ghosts," he replied, "I don't think they should be dismissed. God wouldn't allow them to exist unless it was as a warning or a punishment."

We walked on some time in silence, I wondering at the strange type of this commonplace young man, and half wishing I could put something into my portrait that should be the equivalent of this curious unimaginative earnestness. Then Oke told me the story of those two pictures—told it me about as badly and hesitatingly as was possible for mortal man.

We walked in silence for a while, me pondering the unusual aspects of this ordinary young man and half wishing I could capture something in my portrait that reflected this curious, unimaginative seriousness. Then Oke told me the story of those two pictures—he told it to me as awkwardly and hesitantly as anyone possibly could.

He and his wife were, as I have said, cousins, and therefore descended from the same old Kentish stock. The Okes of Okehurst could trace back to Norman, almost to Saxon times, far longer than any of the titled or better-known families of the neighbourhood. I saw that William Oke, in his heart, thoroughly looked down upon all his neighbours. "We have never done anything particular, or been anything particular—never held any office," he said; "but we have always been here, and apparently always done our duty. An ancestor of ours was killed in the Scotch wars, another at Agincourt—mere honest captains." Well, early in the seventeenth century, the family had dwindled to a single member, Nicholas Oke, the same who had rebuilt Okehurst in its present shape. This Nicholas appears to have been somewhat different from the usual run of the family. He had, in his youth, sought adventures in America, and seems, generally speaking, to have been less of a nonentity than his ancestors. He married, when no longer very young, Alice, daughter of Virgil Pomfret, a beautiful young heiress from a neighbouring county. "It was the first time an Oke married a Pomfret," my host informed me, "and the last time. The Pomfrets were quite different sort of people—restless, self-seeking; one of them had been a favourite of Henry VIII." It was clear that William Oke had no feeling of having any Pomfret blood in his veins; he spoke of these people with an evident family dislike—the dislike of an Oke, one of the old, honourable, modest stock, which had quietly done its duty, for a family of fortune-seekers and Court minions. Well, there had come to live near Okehurst, in a little house recently inherited from an uncle, a certain Christopher Lovelock, a young gallant and poet, who was in momentary disgrace at Court for some love affair. This Lovelock had struck up a great friendship with his neighbours of Okehurst—too great a friendship, apparently, with the wife, either for her husband's taste or her own. Anyhow, one evening as he was riding home alone, Lovelock had been attacked and murdered, ostensibly by highwaymen, but as was afterwards rumoured, by Nicholas Oke, accompanied by his wife dressed as a groom. No legal evidence had been got, but the tradition had remained. "They used to tell it us when we were children," said my host, in a hoarse voice, "and to frighten my cousin—I mean my wife—and me with stories about Lovelock. It is merely a tradition, which I hope may die out, as I sincerely pray to heaven that it may be false." "Alice—Mrs. Oke—you see," he went on after some time, "doesn't feel about it as I do. Perhaps I am morbid. But I do dislike having the old story raked up."

He and his wife were, as I mentioned, cousins, so they came from the same longstanding Kentish heritage. The Okes of Okehurst could trace their roots back to Norman times, even to Saxon times, much longer than any of the titled or more famous families in the area. I could see that William Oke, deep down, looked down on all his neighbors. "We’ve never done anything special or been anything special—never held any office," he said; "but we've always been here and have apparently always done our duty. An ancestor of ours was killed in the Scottish wars, another at Agincourt—just honest captains." Well, by the early seventeenth century, the family had shrunk to just one member, Nicholas Oke, who was the one to rebuild Okehurst in its current form. This Nicholas seemed to be a bit different from the typical Oke. In his youth, he sought adventures in America and generally seemed to be less of a nobody than his ancestors. He married, when he was no longer very young, Alice, the daughter of Virgil Pomfret, a beautiful young heiress from a neighboring county. "It was the first time an Oke married a Pomfret," my host told me, "and the last. The Pomfrets were quite a different kind of people—restless and self-serving; one of them had been a favorite of Henry VIII." It was clear that William Oke felt no connection to Pomfret blood; he spoke of these people with evident family disdain—the disdain of an Oke, from the old, honorable, modest lineage that had quietly done its duty, towards a family of fortune-seekers and court favorites. Nearby Okehurst lived a certain Christopher Lovelock, a young dandy and poet, who was temporarily out of favor at Court due to a love affair. This Lovelock had formed a close friendship with his Okehurst neighbors—too close, it seemed, for either her husband's taste or her own. Anyway, one evening while riding home alone, Lovelock was attacked and murdered, supposedly by highwaymen, but as was later rumored, by Nicholas Oke, accompanied by his wife dressed as a groom. No legal proof was ever found, but the story lived on. "They used to tell us this when we were kids," my host said in a hoarse voice, "to scare my cousin—I mean my wife—and me with stories about Lovelock. It's just a tradition, which I hope will fade away, as I sincerely pray to heaven that it’s not true." "Alice—Mrs. Oke—you see," he continued after a while, "doesn’t feel about it the way I do. Maybe I’m being morbid. But I really dislike having this old story brought up again."

And we said no more on the subject.

And we didn't say anything more about it.

4

4

From that moment I began to assume a certain interest in the eyes of Mrs. Oke; or rather, I began to perceive that I had a means of securing her attention. Perhaps it was wrong of me to do so; and I have often reproached myself very seriously later on. But after all, how was I to guess that I was making mischief merely by chiming in, for the sake of the portrait I had undertaken, and of a very harmless psychological mania, with what was merely the fad, the little romantic affectation or eccentricity, of a scatter-brained and eccentric young woman? How in the world should I have dreamed that I was handling explosive substances? A man is surely not responsible if the people with whom he is forced to deal, and whom he deals with as with all the rest of the world, are quite different from all other human creatures.

From that moment, I started to notice that I had caught Mrs. Oke's attention; or rather, I realized that I had a way to keep her focused on me. Maybe it was wrong of me to think like that, and I’ve often felt guilty about it later on. But honestly, how was I supposed to know that I was stirring up trouble just by getting involved for the sake of the portrait I was working on, and because of a harmless obsession, with what was really just a quirky phase or eccentricity of a scatterbrained and unconventional young woman? How could I have imagined that I was dealing with something dangerous? A person shouldn’t be held responsible if the people they interact with, whom they treat like everyone else, are completely different from all other human beings.

So, if indeed I did at all conduce to mischief, I really cannot blame myself. I had met in Mrs. Oke an almost unique subject for a portrait-painter of my particular sort, and a most singular, bizarre personality. I could not possibly do my subject justice so long as I was kept at a distance, prevented from studying the real character of the woman. I required to put her into play. And I ask you whether any more innocent way of doing so could be found than talking to a woman, and letting her talk, about an absurd fancy she had for a couple of ancestors of hers of the time of Charles I., and a poet whom they had murdered?—particularly as I studiously respected the prejudices of my host, and refrained from mentioning the matter, and tried to restrain Mrs. Oke from doing so, in the presence of William Oke himself.

So, if I did cause any trouble at all, I really can’t blame myself. I met Mrs. Oke, who was an almost one-of-a-kind subject for a portrait artist like me, and she had a really unique, bizarre personality. I couldn’t possibly capture her essence while being kept at a distance, unable to study her true character. I needed to engage with her. And I ask you, what could be a more innocent way to do that than by talking to a woman and letting her share her thoughts about her absurd obsession with a couple of her ancestors from the time of Charles I and a poet they had killed?—especially since I was careful to respect my host’s feelings and avoided bringing it up, while also trying to keep Mrs. Oke from mentioning it in front of William Oke himself.

I had certainly guessed correctly. To resemble the Alice Oke of the year 1626 was the caprice, the mania, the pose, the whatever you may call it, of the Alice Oke of 1880; and to perceive this resemblance was the sure way of gaining her good graces. It was the most extraordinary craze, of all the extraordinary crazes of childless and idle women, that I had ever met; but it was more than that, it was admirably characteristic. It finished off the strange figure of Mrs. Oke, as I saw it in my imagination—this bizarre creature of enigmatic, far-fetched exquisiteness—that she should have no interest in the present, but only an eccentric passion in the past. It seemed to give the meaning to the absent look in her eyes, to her irrelevant and far-off smile. It was like the words to a weird piece of gipsy music, this that she, who was so different, so distant from all women of her own time, should try and identify herself with a woman of the past—that she should have a kind of flirtation—But of this anon.

I had definitely guessed right. The Alice Oke of 1626 was the obsession, the craze, the style—whatever you want to call it—of the Alice Oke of 1880; and recognizing this similarity was the best way to win her favor. It was the most bizarre obsession, out of all the unusual obsessions of childless and idle women, that I had ever encountered; but it was more than that, it was perfectly revealing. It completed the strange image of Mrs. Oke, as I pictured her in my mind—this bizarre creature of mysterious, intricate beauty—showing that she cared nothing for the present, but only had an eccentric passion for the past. It seemed to explain the absent look in her eyes and her distant, irrelevant smile. It was like the lyrics to a strange piece of gypsy music, this odd tendency of hers, so different and distant from all the women of her time, to try to connect herself with a woman from the past—that she should have a sort of flirtation—But more on that later.

I told Mrs. Oke that I had learnt from her husband the outline of the tragedy, or mystery, whichever it was, of Alice Oke, daughter of Virgil Pomfret, and the poet Christopher Lovelock. That look of vague contempt, of a desire to shock, which I had noticed before, came into her beautiful, pale, diaphanous face.

I told Mrs. Oke that I had learned from her husband the details of the tragedy, or mystery, whatever it was, of Alice Oke, daughter of Virgil Pomfret, and the poet Christopher Lovelock. That look of vague disdain, of a desire to provoke, which I had noticed before, appeared on her beautiful, pale, translucent face.

"I suppose my husband was very shocked at the whole matter," she said—"told it you with as little detail as possible, and assured you very solemnly that he hoped the whole story might be a mere dreadful calumny? Poor Willie! I remember already when we were children, and I used to come with my mother to spend Christmas at Okehurst, and my cousin was down here for his holidays, how I used to horrify him by insisting upon dressing up in shawls and waterproofs, and playing the story of the wicked Mrs. Oke; and he always piously refused to do the part of Nicholas, when I wanted to have the scene on Cotes Common. I didn't know then that I was like the original Alice Oke; I found it out only after our marriage. You really think that I am?"

"I guess my husband was really shocked by the whole situation," she said. "He shared it with you with as few details as possible and very seriously assured you that he hoped it was all just a terrible rumor? Poor Willie! I already remember when we were kids, and I would come with my mom to celebrate Christmas at Okehurst, and my cousin was here for his break. I used to scare him by insisting on dressing up in shawls and raincoats and acting out the story of the wicked Mrs. Oke; and he always refused to play the part of Nicholas when I wanted to do the scene on Cotes Common. I didn’t realize back then that I was like the original Alice Oke; I only found that out after we got married. Do you really think that I am?"

She certainly was, particularly at that moment, as she stood in a white Vandyck dress, with the green of the park-land rising up behind her, and the low sun catching her short locks and surrounding her head, her exquisitely bowed head, with a pale-yellow halo. But I confess I thought the original Alice Oke, siren and murderess though she might be, very uninteresting compared with this wayward and exquisite creature whom I had rashly promised myself to send down to posterity in all her unlikely wayward exquisiteness.

She definitely was, especially at that moment, as she stood in a white Vandyck dress with the green parkland rising up behind her. The low sun highlighted her short hair, creating a pale-yellow halo around her beautifully curved head. But I have to admit, I found the original Alice Oke—siren and murderer though she may be—much less interesting compared to this unpredictable and stunning creature whom I had foolishly promised to preserve for future generations in all her unlikely, exquisite waywardness.

One morning while Mr. Oke was despatching his Saturday heap of Conservative manifestoes and rural decisions—he was justice of the peace in a most literal sense, penetrating into cottages and huts, defending the weak and admonishing the ill-conducted—one morning while I was making one of my many pencil-sketches (alas, they are all that remain to me now!) of my future sitter, Mrs. Oke gave me her version of the story of Alice Oke and Christopher Lovelock.

One morning, while Mr. Oke was sending out his stack of Conservative manifestos and rural decisions—he was a justice of the peace in the truest sense, going into cottages and huts, protecting the vulnerable and addressing the misbehaved—one morning while I was doing one of my many pencil sketches (sadly, they're all I have left now!) of my future subject, Mrs. Oke shared her take on the story of Alice Oke and Christopher Lovelock.

"Do you suppose there was anything between them?" I asked—"that she was ever in love with him? How do you explain the part which tradition ascribes to her in the supposed murder? One has heard of women and their lovers who have killed the husband; but a woman who combines with her husband to kill her lover, or at least the man who is in love with her—that is surely very singular." I was absorbed in my drawing, and really thinking very little of what I was saying.

"Do you think there was anything going on between them?" I asked—"that she ever loved him? How do you explain the role that tradition gives her in the alleged murder? People have heard of women and their lovers who have killed a husband; but a woman who works with her husband to kill her lover, or at least the guy who loves her—that’s definitely unusual." I was focused on my drawing and wasn't really thinking much about what I was saying.

"I don't know," she answered pensively, with that distant look in her eyes. "Alice Oke was very proud, I am sure. She may have loved the poet very much, and yet been indignant with him, hated having to love him. She may have felt that she had a right to rid herself of him, and to call upon her husband to help her to do so."

"I don't know," she replied thoughtfully, with a faraway look in her eyes. "Alice Oke was definitely very proud. She might have loved the poet deeply, yet felt anger towards him, resenting the fact that she loved him. She may have believed she had the right to free herself from him and to ask her husband to assist her in doing so."

"Good heavens! what a fearful idea!" I exclaimed, half laughing. "Don't you think, after all, that Mr. Oke may be right in saying that it is easier and more comfortable to take the whole story as a pure invention?"

"Wow! What a scary thought!" I said, half-laughing. "Don't you think, after all, that Mr. Oke might be right in saying that it's easier and more convenient to consider the whole story as just a complete fabrication?"

"I cannot take it as an invention," answered Mrs. Oke contemptuously, "because I happen to know that it is true."

"I can’t see it as a made-up story," Mrs. Oke replied with disdain, "because I actually know it's true."

"Indeed!" I answered, working away at my sketch, and enjoying putting this strange creature, as I said to myself, through her paces; "how is that?"

"Definitely!" I replied, focusing on my sketch and enjoying testing this strange creature, as I thought to myself, "How does that work?"

"How does one know that anything is true in this world?" she replied evasively; "because one does, because one feels it to be true, I suppose."

"How does anyone know what's true in this world?" she replied vaguely. "Because you just do, because you feel it’s true, I guess."

And, with that far-off look in her light eyes, she relapsed into silence.

And, with that distant look in her bright eyes, she fell back into silence.

"Have you ever read any of Lovelock's poetry?" she asked me suddenly the next day.

"Have you ever read any of Lovelock's poetry?" she suddenly asked me the next day.

"Lovelock?" I answered, for I had forgotten the name. "Lovelock, who"—But I stopped, remembering the prejudices of my host, who was seated next to me at table.

"Lovelock?" I replied, as I had forgotten the name. "Lovelock, who"—But I paused, recalling the biases of my host, who was sitting next to me at the table.

"Lovelock who was killed by Mr. Oke's and my ancestors."

"Lovelock, who was killed by Mr. Oke's ancestors and mine."

And she looked full at her husband, as if in perverse enjoyment of the evident annoyance which it caused him.

And she looked straight at her husband, almost as if she took pleasure in the clear annoyance it brought him.

"Alice," he entreated in a low voice, his whole face crimson, "for mercy's sake, don't talk about such things before the servants."

"Alice," he pleaded in a quiet voice, his entire face flushed, "for the sake of mercy, please don't discuss such things in front of the staff."

Mrs. Oke burst into a high, light, rather hysterical laugh, the laugh of a naughty child.

Mrs. Oke let out a loud, bright, somewhat hysterical laugh, the kind you’d expect from a mischievous child.

"The servants! Gracious heavens! do you suppose they haven't heard the story? Why, it's as well known as Okehurst itself in the neighbourhood. Don't they believe that Lovelock has been seen about the house? Haven't they all heard his footsteps in the big corridor? Haven't they, my dear Willie, noticed a thousand times that you never will stay a minute alone in the yellow drawing-room—that you run out of it, like a child, if I happen to leave you there for a minute?"

"The servants! Good heaven! Do you think they haven't heard the story? It's as well known as Okehurst itself in the area. Don't they believe that Lovelock has been spotted around the house? Haven't they all heard his footsteps in the large hallway? Haven't they, my dear Willie, noticed countless times that you never stay alone in the yellow drawing-room—not for a second—that you rush out of it like a kid if I happen to leave you there for just a moment?"

True! How was it I had not noticed that? or rather, that I only now remembered having noticed it? The yellow drawing-room was one of the most charming rooms in the house: a large, bright room, hung with yellow damask and panelled with carvings, that opened straight out on to the lawn, far superior to the room in which we habitually sat, which was comparatively gloomy. This time Mr. Oke struck me as really too childish. I felt an intense desire to badger him.

True! How did I not notice that? Or rather, how is it that I'm only now remembering I did? The yellow drawing room was one of the most charming rooms in the house: a large, bright space, featuring yellow damask and carved panels, that opened directly onto the lawn, much nicer than the room we usually sat in, which was pretty gloomy. This time, Mr. Oke seemed really too childish. I had a strong urge to annoy him.

"The yellow drawing-room!" I exclaimed. "Does this interesting literary character haunt the yellow drawing-room? Do tell me about it. What happened there?"

"The yellow drawing room!" I said excitedly. "Does this fascinating literary character hang out in the yellow drawing room? Please tell me about it. What went down there?"

Mr. Oke made a painful effort to laugh.

Mr. Oke forced himself to laugh, though it was uncomfortable.

"Nothing ever happened there, so far as I know," he said, and rose from the table.

"Nothing ever happened there, as far as I know," he said, standing up from the table.

"Really?" I asked incredulously.

"Seriously?" I asked incredulously.

"Nothing did happen there," answered Mrs. Oke slowly, playing mechanically with a fork, and picking out the pattern of the tablecloth. "That is just the extraordinary circumstance, that, so far as any one knows, nothing ever did happen there; and yet that room has an evil reputation. No member of our family, they say, can bear to sit there alone for more than a minute. You see, William evidently cannot."

"Nothing happened there," Mrs. Oke replied slowly, fiddling with a fork and tracing the pattern of the tablecloth. "That’s the strange part—so far as anyone knows, nothing ever did happen there; and yet that room has a terrible reputation. They say no one in our family can stand to sit there alone for more than a minute. You see, William clearly cannot."

"Have you ever seen or heard anything strange there?" I asked of my host.

"Have you ever seen or heard anything weird there?" I asked my host.

He shook his head. "Nothing," he answered curtly, and lit his cigar.

He shook his head. "Nothing," he replied flatly, and lit his cigar.

"I presume you have not," I asked, half laughing, of Mrs. Oke, "since you don't mind sitting in that room for hours alone? How do you explain this uncanny reputation, since nothing ever happened there?"

"I assume you haven't," I said, half laughing, to Mrs. Oke, "since you don't mind sitting in that room alone for hours? How do you explain this weird reputation, since nothing ever happened there?"

"Perhaps something is destined to happen there in the future," she answered, in her absent voice. And then she suddenly added, "Suppose you paint my portrait in that room?"

"Maybe something is meant to happen there in the future," she replied in a distant tone. Then she quickly added, "How about you paint my portrait in that room?"

Mr. Oke suddenly turned round. He was very white, and looked as if he were going to say something, but desisted.

Mr. Oke suddenly turned around. He was very pale and looked like he was about to say something, but then he stopped.

"Why do you worry Mr. Oke like that?" I asked, when he had gone into his smoking-room with his usual bundle of papers. "It is very cruel of you, Mrs. Oke. You ought to have more consideration for people who believe in such things, although you may not be able to put yourself in their frame of mind."

"Why are you worrying Mr. Oke like that?" I asked, as he went into his smoking room with his usual pile of papers. "That's really unkind of you, Mrs. Oke. You should have more consideration for people who believe in such things, even if you can't see things from their perspective."

"Who tells you that I don't believe in such things, as you call them?" she answered abruptly.

"Who says I don't believe in those things, as you call them?" she replied sharply.

"Come," she said, after a minute, "I want to show you why I believe in
Christopher Lovelock. Come with me into the yellow room."

"Come," she said after a minute, "I want to show you why I believe in
Christopher Lovelock. Follow me into the yellow room."

5

5

What Mrs. Oke showed me in the yellow room was a large bundle of papers, some printed and some manuscript, but all of them brown with age, which she took out of an old Italian ebony inlaid cabinet. It took her some time to get them, as a complicated arrangement of double locks and false drawers had to be put in play; and while she was doing so, I looked round the room, in which I had been only three or four times before. It was certainly the most beautiful room in this beautiful house, and, as it seemed to me now, the most strange. It was long and low, with something that made you think of the cabin of a ship, with a great mullioned window that let in, as it were, a perspective of the brownish green park-land, dotted with oaks, and sloping upwards to the distant line of bluish firs against the horizon. The walls were hung with flowered damask, whose yellow, faded to brown, united with the reddish colour of the carved wainscoting and the carved oaken beams. For the rest, it reminded me more of an Italian room than an English one. The furniture was Tuscan of the early seventeenth century, inlaid and carved; there were a couple of faded allegorical pictures, by some Bolognese master, on the walls; and in a corner, among a stack of dwarf orange-trees, a little Italian harpsichord of exquisite curve and slenderness, with flowers and landscapes painted upon its cover. In a recess was a shelf of old books, mainly English and Italian poets of the Elizabethan time; and close by it, placed upon a carved wedding-chest, a large and beautiful melon-shaped lute. The panes of the mullioned window were open, and yet the air seemed heavy, with an indescribable heady perfume, not that of any growing flower, but like that of old stuff that should have lain for years among spices.

What Mrs. Oke showed me in the yellow room was a large bundle of papers, some printed and some handwritten, but all of them brown with age, which she took out of an old Italian ebony inlaid cabinet. It took her some time to get them, as a complicated setup of double locks and false drawers had to be dealt with; and while she was doing so, I looked around the room, in which I had been only three or four times before. It was definitely the most beautiful room in this beautiful house, and, as it seemed to me now, the most unusual. It was long and low, reminding you of a ship's cabin, with a large mullioned window that offered a view of the brownish-green parkland, dotted with oaks, sloping up to the distant line of bluish firs against the horizon. The walls were covered in flowered damask, whose yellow had faded to brown, blending with the reddish color of the carved wainscoting and the carved oak beams. Overall, it felt more like an Italian room than an English one. The furniture was Tuscan from the early seventeenth century, inlaid and carved; there were a couple of faded allegorical paintings by some Bolognese master on the walls; and in one corner, among a stack of dwarf orange trees, was a little Italian harpsichord of exquisite shape and slenderness, with flowers and landscapes painted on its cover. In a recess was a shelf of old books, mainly by English and Italian poets from the Elizabethan era; and nearby, placed on a carved wedding chest, was a large and beautiful melon-shaped lute. The panes of the mullioned window were open, yet the air felt heavy, filled with an indescribable heady fragrance, not that of any blooming flower, but like the scent of old materials that should have lain for years among spices.

"It is a beautiful room!" I exclaimed. "I should awfully like to paint you in it"; but I had scarcely spoken the words when I felt I had done wrong. This woman's husband could not bear the room, and it seemed to me vaguely as if he were right in detesting it.

"It’s a beautiful room!" I exclaimed. "I would really love to paint you in it"; but I had hardly finished saying that when I felt I had messed up. This woman’s husband couldn’t stand the room, and it felt to me like he had a point in hating it.

Mrs. Oke took no notice of my exclamation, but beckoned me to the table where she was standing sorting the papers.

Mrs. Oke ignored my exclamation and motioned for me to come to the table where she was sorting through the papers.

"Look!" she said, "these are all poems by Christopher Lovelock"; and touching the yellow papers with delicate and reverent fingers, she commenced reading some of them out loud in a slow, half-audible voice. They were songs in the style of those of Herrick, Waller, and Drayton, complaining for the most part of the cruelty of a lady called Dryope, in whose name was evidently concealed a reference to that of the mistress of Okehurst. The songs were graceful, and not without a certain faded passion: but I was thinking not of them, but of the woman who was reading them to me.

"Look!" she said, "these are all poems by Christopher Lovelock"; and gently touching the yellowed papers, she began to read some of them aloud in a slow, barely audible voice. They were songs reminiscent of those by Herrick, Waller, and Drayton, mostly lamenting the cruelty of a lady named Dryope, which clearly hinted at the name of the mistress of Okehurst. The songs were elegant, and contained a certain faded passion: but I was concentrating not on them, but on the woman reading them to me.

Mrs. Oke was standing with the brownish yellow wall as a background to her white brocade dress, which, in its stiff seventeenth-century make, seemed but to bring out more clearly the slightness, the exquisite suppleness, of her tall figure. She held the papers in one hand, and leaned the other, as if for support, on the inlaid cabinet by her side. Her voice, which was delicate, shadowy, like her person, had a curious throbbing cadence, as if she were reading the words of a melody, and restraining herself with difficulty from singing it; and as she read, her long slender throat throbbed slightly, and a faint redness came into her thin face. She evidently knew the verses by heart, and her eyes were mostly fixed with that distant smile in them, with which harmonised a constant tremulous little smile in her lips.

Mrs. Oke stood against the brownish-yellow wall, her white brocade dress, with its rigid seventeenth-century style, highlighting the slightness and delicate grace of her tall figure. She held some papers in one hand and leaned on the inlaid cabinet beside her for support with the other. Her voice was soft and ethereal, much like her appearance, carrying a unique rhythmic quality, as if she were reciting lyrics of a tune, trying hard not to sing it out loud. As she read, her long, slender throat pulsed slightly, and a faint blush appeared on her thin face. She clearly knew the verses by heart, her gaze often distant, filled with a gentle smile that matched the subtle, trembling smile on her lips.

"That is how I would wish to paint her!" I exclaimed within myself; and scarcely noticed, what struck me on thinking over the scene, that this strange being read these verses as one might fancy a woman would read love-verses addressed to herself.

"That's how I want to paint her!" I thought to myself; and hardly realized, upon reflecting on the scene, that this unusual person read these lines as one might imagine a woman would read love poems written for her.

"Those are all written for Alice Oke—Alice the daughter of Virgil
Pomfret," she said slowly, folding up the papers. "I found them at the
bottom of this cabinet. Can you doubt of the reality of Christopher
Lovelock now?"

"Those are all written for Alice Oke—Alice, the daughter of Virgil
Pomfret," she said slowly, folding up the papers. "I found them at the
bottom of this cabinet. Can you still doubt the existence of Christopher
Lovelock now?"

The question was an illogical one, for to doubt of the existence of Christopher Lovelock was one thing, and to doubt of the mode of his death was another; but somehow I did feel convinced.

The question didn’t make sense, because doubting the existence of Christopher Lovelock was one thing, and doubting the way he died was another; but somehow I still felt convinced.

"Look!" she said, when she had replaced the poems, "I will show you something else." Among the flowers that stood on the upper storey of her writing-table—for I found that Mrs. Oke had a writing-table in the yellow room—stood, as on an altar, a small black carved frame, with a silk curtain drawn over it: the sort of thing behind which you would have expected to find a head of Christ or of the Virgin Mary. She drew the curtain and displayed a large-sized miniature, representing a young man, with auburn curls and a peaked auburn beard, dressed in black, but with lace about his neck, and large pear-shaped pearls in his ears: a wistful, melancholy face. Mrs. Oke took the miniature religiously off its stand, and showed me, written in faded characters upon the back, the name "Christopher Lovelock," and the date 1626.

"Look!" she said, after putting the poems back, "I want to show you something else." Among the flowers on the upper level of her writing desk—because I discovered that Mrs. Oke had a writing desk in the yellow room—sat, like an altar, a small black carved frame, with a silk curtain drawn over it: the kind of thing behind which you would expect to find a portrait of Christ or the Virgin Mary. She pulled back the curtain and revealed a large miniature of a young man with auburn curls and a pointed auburn beard, dressed in black but with lace around his neck and large pear-shaped pearls in his ears: a wistful, melancholy face. Mrs. Oke carefully took the miniature off its stand and showed me the back, which had the name "Christopher Lovelock" and the date 1626 written in faded letters.

"I found this in the secret drawer of that cabinet, together with the heap of poems," she said, taking the miniature out of my hand.

"I found this in the secret drawer of that cabinet, along with the stack of poems," she said, taking the miniature out of my hand.

I was silent for a minute.

I stayed quiet for a minute.

"Does—does Mr. Oke know that you have got it here?" I asked; and then wondered what in the world had impelled me to put such a question.

"Does—does Mr. Oke know that you have it here?" I asked; and then I wondered what on earth had made me ask such a question.

Mrs. Oke smiled that smile of contemptuous indifference. "I have never hidden it from any one. If my husband disliked my having it, he might have taken it away, I suppose. It belongs to him, since it was found in his house."

Mrs. Oke smiled with a look of disdainful indifference. "I’ve never hidden it from anyone. If my husband didn’t want me to have it, he could have taken it away, I guess. It belongs to him, since it was found in his house."

I did not answer, but walked mechanically towards the door. There was something heady and oppressive in this beautiful room; something, I thought, almost repulsive in this exquisite woman. She seemed to me, suddenly, perverse and dangerous.

I didn’t reply, but walked robotically toward the door. There was something intoxicating and overwhelming in this beautiful room; something, I thought, almost off-putting about this stunning woman. She suddenly struck me as twisted and risky.

I scarcely know why, but I neglected Mrs. Oke that afternoon. I went to Mr. Oke's study, and sat opposite to him smoking while he was engrossed in his accounts, his reports, and electioneering papers. On the table, above the heap of paper-bound volumes and pigeon-holed documents, was, as sole ornament of his den, a little photograph of his wife, done some years before. I don't know why, but as I sat and watched him, with his florid, honest, manly beauty, working away conscientiously, with that little perplexed frown of his, I felt intensely sorry for this man.

I don’t really know why, but I ignored Mrs. Oke that afternoon. I went to Mr. Oke's study and sat across from him, smoking while he focused on his accounts, reports, and election papers. On the table, above the pile of paper-bound books and organized documents, was a small photograph of his wife, taken a few years earlier, the only decoration in his office. I’m not sure why, but as I sat there watching him—his flushed, honest, manly good looks—working diligently with that little perplexed frown he had, I felt a deep sense of pity for this man.

But this feeling did not last. There was no help for it: Oke was not as interesting as Mrs. Oke; and it required too great an effort to pump up sympathy for this normal, excellent, exemplary young squire, in the presence of so wonderful a creature as his wife. So I let myself go to the habit of allowing Mrs. Oke daily to talk over her strange craze, or rather of drawing her out about it. I confess that I derived a morbid and exquisite pleasure in doing so: it was so characteristic in her, so appropriate to the house! It completed her personality so perfectly, and made it so much easier to conceive a way of painting her. I made up my mind little by little, while working at William Oke's portrait (he proved a less easy subject than I had anticipated, and, despite his conscientious efforts, was a nervous, uncomfortable sitter, silent and brooding)—I made up my mind that I would paint Mrs. Oke standing by the cabinet in the yellow room, in the white Vandyck dress copied from the portrait of her ancestress. Mr. Oke might resent it, Mrs. Oke even might resent it; they might refuse to take the picture, to pay for it, to allow me to exhibit; they might force me to run my umbrella through the picture. No matter. That picture should be painted, if merely for the sake of having painted it; for I felt it was the only thing I could do, and that it would be far away my best work. I told neither of my resolution, but prepared sketch after sketch of Mrs. Oke, while continuing to paint her husband.

But this feeling didn’t last. There was no way around it: Oke wasn’t as interesting as Mrs. Oke; and it took too much effort to drum up sympathy for this normal, excellent, exemplary young guy, especially with such an amazing person as his wife around. So I got into the habit of letting Mrs. Oke talk about her weird obsession every day, or rather, I encouraged her to share more about it. I admit I found a twisted and exquisite pleasure in doing so: it was so typical of her, so fitting for the house! It completed her personality perfectly and made it much easier for me to imagine how to paint her. Little by little, while working on William Oke's portrait (he turned out to be a tougher subject than I expected, and despite his best efforts, he was a nervous, uncomfortable sitter, quiet and brooding)—I decided to paint Mrs. Oke standing by the cabinet in the yellow room, in the white Vandyck dress inspired by her ancestor's portrait. Mr. Oke might not like it, and Mrs. Oke might not like it either; they might refuse to take the painting, refuse to pay for it, refuse to let me exhibit it; they might even force me to destroy the painting. No matter. That portrait had to be created, even if just for the sake of doing it; because I felt it would be the only thing I could do, and it would definitely be my best work. I didn’t share my plans with either of them, but kept making sketch after sketch of Mrs. Oke while continuing to paint her husband.

Mrs. Oke was a silent person, more silent even than her husband, for she did not feel bound, as he did, to attempt to entertain a guest or to show any interest in him. She seemed to spend her life—a curious, inactive, half-invalidish life, broken by sudden fits of childish cheerfulness—in an eternal daydream, strolling about the house and grounds, arranging the quantities of flowers that always filled all the rooms, beginning to read and then throwing aside novels and books of poetry, of which she always had a large number; and, I believe, lying for hours, doing nothing, on a couch in that yellow drawing-room, which, with her sole exception, no member of the Oke family had ever been known to stay in alone. Little by little I began to suspect and to verify another eccentricity of this eccentric being, and to understand why there were stringent orders never to disturb her in that yellow room.

Mrs. Oke was a quiet person, even more so than her husband, because she didn’t feel the need, like he did, to entertain guests or show any interest in them. She seemed to spend her life—a strange, inactive, somewhat frail life, interrupted by sudden bursts of childlike happiness—in an endless daydream, wandering around the house and the grounds, arranging the flowers that always filled every room, starting to read only to put down novels and poetry books, of which she always had a lot; and, I believe, lying for hours, doing nothing, on a couch in that yellow drawing room, which, except for her, no member of the Oke family had ever been known to occupy alone. Little by little, I started to suspect and confirm another quirk of this odd individual, and to understand why there were strict orders never to disturb her in that yellow room.

It had been a habit at Okehurst, as at one or two other English manor-houses, to keep a certain amount of the clothes of each generation, more particularly wedding dresses. A certain carved oaken press, of which Mr. Oke once displayed the contents to me, was a perfect museum of costumes, male and female, from the early years of the seventeenth to the end of the eighteenth century—a thing to take away the breath of a bric-a-brac collector, an antiquary, or a genre painter. Mr. Oke was none of these, and therefore took but little interest in the collection, save in so far as it interested his family feeling. Still he seemed well acquainted with the contents of that press.

At Okehurst, like in a few other English manor houses, it was common to keep some clothing from each generation, especially wedding dresses. There was a beautifully carved oak wardrobe that Mr. Oke once showed me, which served as a stunning display of costumes, both men’s and women’s, from the early 1600s to the late 1700s—a real treasure for a collector of curiosities, an antiquarian, or a genre painter. Mr. Oke wasn't any of those things, so he didn't show much interest in the collection, other than it meant something to his family. Still, he seemed quite familiar with what was in that wardrobe.

He was turning over the clothes for my benefit, when suddenly I noticed that he frowned. I know not what impelled me to say, "By the way, have you any dresses of that Mrs. Oke whom your wife resembles so much? Have you got that particular white dress she was painted in, perhaps?"

He was sorting through the clothes for my sake when I suddenly noticed that he frowned. I don't know what made me say, "By the way, do you have any dresses from that Mrs. Oke who looks so much like your wife? Do you happen to have that specific white dress she was painted in, maybe?"

Oke of Okehurst flushed very red.

Oke of Okehurst turned very red.

"We have it," he answered hesitatingly, "but—it isn't here at present—I can't find it. I suppose," he blurted out with an effort, "that Alice has got it. Mrs. Oke sometimes has the fancy of having some of these old things down. I suppose she takes ideas from them."

"We have it," he replied hesitantly, "but—it’s not here right now—I can’t find it. I guess," he said suddenly, "that Alice has it. Mrs. Oke sometimes likes to have some of these old things out. I think she gets ideas from them."

A sudden light dawned in my mind. The white dress in which I had seen Mrs.
Oke in the yellow room, the day that she showed me Lovelock's verses, was
not, as I had thought, a modern copy; it was the original dress of Alice
Oke, the daughter of Virgil Pomfret—the dress in which, perhaps,
Christopher Lovelock had seen her in that very room.

A sudden realization hit me. The white dress I had seen Mrs.
Oke wearing in the yellow room, the day she showed me Lovelock's poems, was
not, as I had assumed, a contemporary version; it was the original dress of Alice
Oke, the daughter of Virgil Pomfret—the dress in which, perhaps,
Christopher Lovelock had seen her in that very room.

The idea gave me a delightful picturesque shudder. I said nothing. But I pictured to myself Mrs. Oke sitting in that yellow room—that room which no Oke of Okehurst save herself ventured to remain in alone, in the dress of her ancestress, confronting, as it were, that vague, haunting something that seemed to fill the place—that vague presence, it seemed to me, of the murdered cavalier poet.

The idea sent a pleasant thrill down my spine. I didn't say anything. But I imagined Mrs. Oke sitting in that yellow room—the room that no Oke of Okehurst, except for her, dared to stay in alone, dressed like her ancestor, facing what felt like that mysterious, haunting presence that seemed to fill the space—the vague presence of the murdered cavalier poet, in my mind.

Mrs. Oke, as I have said, was extremely silent, as a result of being extremely indifferent. She really did not care in the least about anything except her own ideas and day-dreams, except when, every now and then, she was seized with a sudden desire to shock the prejudices or superstitions of her husband. Very soon she got into the way of never talking to me at all, save about Alice and Nicholas Oke and Christopher Lovelock; and then, when the fit seized her, she would go on by the hour, never asking herself whether I was or was not equally interested in the strange craze that fascinated her. It so happened that I was. I loved to listen to her, going on discussing by the hour the merits of Lovelock's poems, and analysing her feelings and those of her two ancestors. It was quite wonderful to watch the exquisite, exotic creature in one of these moods, with the distant look in her grey eyes and the absent-looking smile in her thin cheeks, talking as if she had intimately known these people of the seventeenth century, discussing every minute mood of theirs, detailing every scene between them and their victim, talking of Alice, and Nicholas, and Lovelock as she might of her most intimate friends. Of Alice particularly, and of Lovelock. She seemed to know every word that Alice had spoken, every idea that had crossed her mind. It sometimes struck me as if she were telling me, speaking of herself in the third person, of her own feelings—as if I were listening to a woman's confidences, the recital of her doubts, scruples, and agonies about a living lover. For Mrs. Oke, who seemed the most self-absorbed of creatures in all other matters, and utterly incapable of understanding or sympathising with the feelings of other persons, entered completely and passionately into the feelings of this woman, this Alice, who, at some moments, seemed to be not another woman, but herself.

Mrs. Oke, as I mentioned, was very quiet because she was completely indifferent. She really didn’t care about anything except her own thoughts and daydreams, unless she occasionally felt the urge to challenge her husband's beliefs or superstitions. Before long, she ended up only talking to me about Alice, Nicholas Oke, and Christopher Lovelock; and when she was in the mood, she could go on for hours without considering whether I was also interested in the strange obsession that captivated her. As it turned out, I was. I loved listening to her as she spent hours discussing the merits of Lovelock's poems and analyzing her feelings and those of her two ancestors. It was quite mesmerizing to watch this exquisite, exotic woman in one of those moods, with the faraway look in her grey eyes and the absent smile on her thin cheeks, speaking as if she had known these people from the seventeenth century intimately, discussing their every mood and detailing every interaction with their victim, talking about Alice, Nicholas, and Lovelock as if they were her closest friends. Especially Alice and Lovelock. She seemed to know every word Alice had said and every thought that had crossed her mind. Sometimes it felt as if she were telling me her own feelings in the third person—like I was listening to a woman’s deepest confessions, sharing her doubts, struggles, and pains about a living lover. For Mrs. Oke, who seemed so self-involved in all other matters and completely incapable of understanding or empathizing with others' feelings, completely and passionately immersed herself in the feelings of this woman, Alice, who at times seemed not just another woman, but herself.

"But how could she do it—how could she kill the man she cared for?" I once asked her.

"But how could she do it—how could she kill the man she cared about?" I once asked her.

"Because she loved him more than the whole world!" she exclaimed, and rising suddenly from her chair, walked towards the window, covering her face with her hands.

"Because she loved him more than anything in the world!" she exclaimed, and suddenly standing up from her chair, she walked toward the window, hiding her face with her hands.

I could see, from the movement of her neck, that she was sobbing. She did not turn round, but motioned me to go away.

I could tell from the way her neck moved that she was crying. She didn’t turn around, but signaled for me to leave.

"Don't let us talk any more about it," she said. "I am ill to-day, and silly."

"Let's not talk about it anymore," she said. "I'm feeling sick today and being silly."

I closed the door gently behind me. What mystery was there in this woman's life? This listlessness, this strange self-engrossment and stranger mania about people long dead, this indifference and desire to annoy towards her husband—did it all mean that Alice Oke had loved or still loved some one who was not the master of Okehurst? And his melancholy, his preoccupation, the something about him that told of a broken youth—did it mean that he knew it?

I closed the door gently behind me. What was the mystery in this woman's life? This boredom, this odd self-absorption and strange obsession with people long gone, this indifference and desire to irritate her husband—did it all mean that Alice Oke had loved or still loved someone who wasn't the owner of Okehurst? And what about his sadness, his distraction, the something about him that hinted at a troubled youth—did it mean that he was aware of it?

6

6

The following days Mrs. Oke was in a condition of quite unusual good spirits. Some visitors—distant relatives—were expected, and although she had expressed the utmost annoyance at the idea of their coming, she was now seized with a fit of housekeeping activity, and was perpetually about arranging things and giving orders, although all arrangements, as usual, had been made, and all orders given, by her husband.

The next few days, Mrs. Oke was in an unusually great mood. Some visitors—distant relatives—were expected, and even though she had previously shown a lot of irritation at the thought of their visit, she was now caught up in a wave of housekeeping energy. She was constantly moving around, organizing things and issuing commands, even though, as always, her husband had already made all the arrangements and given all the orders.

William Oke was quite radiant.

William Oke was really glowing.

"If only Alice were always well like this!" he exclaimed; "if only she would take, or could take, an interest in life, how different things would be! But," he added, as if fearful lest he should be supposed to accuse her in any way, "how can she, usually, with her wretched health? Still, it does make me awfully happy to see her like this."

"If only Alice felt this good all the time!" he said. "If only she would take an interest in life, or could take an interest, things would be so different! But," he continued, as if worried he might seem to blame her, "how can she, usually, with her terrible health? Still, it makes me really happy to see her like this."

I nodded. But I cannot say that I really acquiesced in his views. It seemed to me, particularly with the recollection of yesterday's extraordinary scene, that Mrs. Oke's high spirits were anything but normal. There was something in her unusual activity and still more unusual cheerfulness that was merely nervous and feverish; and I had, the whole day, the impression of dealing with a woman who was ill and who would very speedily collapse.

I nodded. But I can’t say I truly agreed with his views. Especially considering yesterday's bizarre scene, it seemed to me that Mrs. Oke's high spirits were far from normal. There was something in her unusual energy and even more unusual happiness that felt nervous and restless; all day, I had the impression of interacting with a woman who was unwell and would soon break down.

Mrs. Oke spent her day wandering from one room to another, and from the garden to the greenhouse, seeing whether all was in order, when, as a matter of fact, all was always in order at Okehurst. She did not give me any sitting, and not a word was spoken about Alice Oke or Christopher Lovelock. Indeed, to a casual observer, it might have seemed as if all that craze about Lovelock had completely departed, or never existed. About five o'clock, as I was strolling among the red-brick round-gabled outhouses—each with its armorial oak—and the old-fashioned spalliered kitchen and fruit garden, I saw Mrs. Oke standing, her hands full of York and Lancaster roses, upon the steps facing the stables. A groom was currycombing a horse, and outside the coach-house was Mr. Oke's little high-wheeled cart.

Mrs. Oke spent her day moving from one room to another, and from the garden to the greenhouse, checking to see if everything was in order, even though everything was always fine at Okehurst. She didn't give me any attention, and there was no mention of Alice Oke or Christopher Lovelock. In fact, to a casual observer, it might have seemed like all that fuss over Lovelock had completely faded away or never happened at all. Around five o'clock, as I was walking among the red-brick, round-gabled outbuildings—each with its coat of arms—and the old-fashioned espaliered kitchen and fruit garden, I saw Mrs. Oke standing on the steps facing the stables, her hands full of York and Lancaster roses. A groom was grooming a horse, and outside the coach house was Mr. Oke's little high-wheeled cart.

"Let us have a drive!" suddenly exclaimed Mrs. Oke, on seeing me. "Look what a beautiful evening—and look at that dear little cart! It is so long since I have driven, and I feel as if I must drive again. Come with me. And you, harness Jim at once and come round to the door."

"Let’s go for a drive!" Mrs. Oke suddenly exclaimed when she saw me. "Look at this beautiful evening—and check out that cute little cart! It's been so long since I've driven, and I feel like I really need to drive again. Come with me. And you, get Jim ready right away and come around to the door."

I was quite amazed; and still more so when the cart drove up before the door, and Mrs. Oke called to me to accompany her. She sent away the groom, and in a minute we were rolling along, at a tremendous pace, along the yellow-sand road, with the sere pasture-lands, the big oaks, on either side.

I was really surprised; even more so when the cart pulled up to the door, and Mrs. Oke asked me to join her. She dismissed the groom, and in a minute we were speeding along the yellow-sand road, with the dry pastures and the big oaks on either side.

I could scarcely believe my senses. This woman, in her mannish little coat and hat, driving a powerful young horse with the utmost skill, and chattering like a school-girl of sixteen, could not be the delicate, morbid, exotic, hot-house creature, unable to walk or to do anything, who spent her days lying about on couches in the heavy atmosphere, redolent with strange scents and associations, of the yellow drawing-room. The movement of the light carriage, the cool draught, the very grind of the wheels upon the gravel, seemed to go to her head like wine.

I could hardly believe my eyes. This woman, in her boyish little coat and hat, expertly driving a strong young horse and chatting like a sixteen-year-old schoolgirl, couldn’t possibly be the fragile, sickly, exotic, pampered creature who spent her days lounging on couches in the heavy atmosphere, filled with strange scents and memories, of the yellow drawing-room. The motion of the light carriage, the cool breeze, and the crunch of the wheels on the gravel seemed to invigorate her like wine.

"It is so long since I have done this sort of thing," she kept repeating; "so long, so long. Oh, don't you think it delightful, going at this pace, with the idea that any moment the horse may come down and we two be killed?" and she laughed her childish laugh, and turned her face, no longer pale, but flushed with the movement and the excitement, towards me.

"It’s been ages since I’ve done this kind of thing," she kept saying; "ages, ages. Oh, don’t you think it’s thrilling, going at this speed, with the thought that at any moment the horse could stumble and we could both get hurt?" And she laughed her playful laugh, turning her face, no longer pale but flushed with movement and excitement, towards me.

The cart rolled on quicker and quicker, one gate after another swinging to behind us, as we flew up and down the little hills, across the pasture lands, through the little red-brick gabled villages, where the people came out to see us pass, past the rows of willows along the streams, and the dark-green compact hop-fields, with the blue and hazy tree-tops of the horizon getting bluer and more hazy as the yellow light began to graze the ground. At last we got to an open space, a high-lying piece of common-land, such as is rare in that ruthlessly utilised country of grazing-grounds and hop-gardens. Among the low hills of the Weald, it seemed quite preternaturally high up, giving a sense that its extent of flat heather and gorse, bound by distant firs, was really on the top of the world. The sun was setting just opposite, and its lights lay flat on the ground, staining it with the red and black of the heather, or rather turning it into the surface of a purple sea, canopied over by a bank of dark-purple clouds—the jet-like sparkle of the dry ling and gorse tipping the purple like sunlit wavelets. A cold wind swept in our faces.

The cart rolled faster and faster, passing through one gate after another as we flew up and down the small hills, across the pastures, and through the quaint red-brick villages where people came out to watch us go by, alongside the rows of willows by the streams and the lush dark-green hop fields, with the blue and hazy treetops on the horizon growing bluer and hazier as the yellow light began to touch the ground. Finally, we reached an open area, a high piece of common land, which is rare in that heavily utilized region of grazing fields and hop gardens. Among the low hills of the Weald, it felt unusually elevated, making its sprawling flat heather and gorse, bordered by distant firs, seem like it was at the top of the world. The sun was setting just ahead, casting its light flat on the ground, staining it with the red and black of the heather, or rather transforming it into the surface of a purple sea, topped by a bank of dark-purple clouds—the shiny jets of dry ling and gorse sparkling like sunlit waves. A cold wind blew in our faces.

"What is the name of this place?" I asked. It was the only bit of impressive scenery that I had met in the neighbourhood of Okehurst.

"What’s the name of this place?" I asked. It was the only impressive scenery I had come across in the Okehurst area.

"It is called Cotes Common," answered Mrs. Oke, who had slackened the pace of the horse, and let the reins hang loose about his neck. "It was here that Christopher Lovelock was killed."

"It’s called Cotes Common," Mrs. Oke replied, slowing the horse down and letting the reins hang loosely around his neck. "This is where Christopher Lovelock was killed."

There was a moment's pause; and then she proceeded, tickling the flies from the horse's ears with the end of her whip, and looking straight into the sunset, which now rolled, a deep purple stream, across the heath to our feet—

There was a moment of silence; then she continued, flicking the flies off the horse's ears with the tip of her whip and gazing directly into the sunset, which now sprawled, a rich purple stream, across the heath at our feet—

"Lovelock was riding home one summer evening from Appledore, when, as he had got half-way across Cotes Common, somewhere about here—for I have always heard them mention the pond in the old gravel-pits as about the place—he saw two men riding towards him, in whom he presently recognised Nicholas Oke of Okehurst accompanied by a groom. Oke of Okehurst hailed him; and Lovelock rode up to meet him. 'I am glad to have met you, Mr. Lovelock,' said Nicholas, 'because I have some important news for you'; and so saying, he brought his horse close to the one that Lovelock was riding, and suddenly turning round, fired off a pistol at his head. Lovelock had time to move, and the bullet, instead of striking him, went straight into the head of his horse, which fell beneath him. Lovelock, however, had fallen in such a way as to be able to extricate himself easily from his horse; and drawing his sword, he rushed upon Oke, and seized his horse by the bridle. Oke quickly jumped off and drew his sword; and in a minute, Lovelock, who was much the better swordsman of the two, was having the better of him. Lovelock had completely disarmed him, and got his sword at Oke's throat, crying out to him that if he would ask forgiveness he should be spared for the sake of their old friendship, when the groom suddenly rode up from behind and shot Lovelock through the back. Lovelock fell, and Oke immediately tried to finish him with his sword, while the groom drew up and held the bridle of Oke's horse. At that moment the sunlight fell upon the groom's face, and Lovelock recognised Mrs. Oke. He cried out, 'Alice, Alice! it is you who have murdered me!' and died. Then Nicholas Oke sprang into his saddle and rode off with his wife, leaving Lovelock dead by the side of his fallen horse. Nicholas Oke had taken the precaution of removing Lovelock's purse and throwing it into the pond, so the murder was put down to certain highwaymen who were about in that part of the country. Alice Oke died many years afterwards, quite an old woman, in the reign of Charles II.; but Nicholas did not live very long, and shortly before his death got into a very strange condition, always brooding, and sometimes threatening to kill his wife. They say that in one of these fits, just shortly before his death, he told the whole story of the murder, and made a prophecy that when the head of his house and master of Okehurst should marry another Alice Oke descended from himself and his wife, there should be an end of the Okes of Okehurst. You see, it seems to be coming true. We have no children, and I don't suppose we shall ever have any. I, at least, have never wished for them."

"Lovelock was riding home one summer evening from Appledore when he got halfway across Cotes Common—somewhere around here, because I've always heard people mention the pond in the old gravel pits as the spot—he saw two men riding toward him. He soon recognized Nicholas Oke of Okehurst, accompanied by a groom. Oke of Okehurst called out to him, and Lovelock rode up to meet him. 'I'm glad to run into you, Mr. Lovelock,' said Nicholas, 'because I have some important news for you.' As he said this, he brought his horse close to Lovelock's and suddenly turned around and fired a pistol at his head. Lovelock had time to move, and instead of hitting him, the bullet went straight into the head of his horse, which collapsed beneath him. However, Lovelock had fallen in a way that allowed him to easily get away from his horse; and drawing his sword, he charged at Oke and grabbed his horse by the bridle. Oke quickly jumped off and drew his sword; within a minute, Lovelock, who was a much better swordsman, had the upper hand. Lovelock completely disarmed him and had his sword at Oke's throat, shouting that if Oke asked for forgiveness, he would be spared for the sake of their old friendship when the groom suddenly rode up from behind and shot Lovelock in the back. Lovelock fell, and Oke immediately tried to finish him off with his sword, while the groom pulled up and held the bridle of Oke's horse. In that moment, the sunlight hit the groom's face, and Lovelock recognized Mrs. Oke. He cried out, 'Alice, Alice! It’s you who have murdered me!' and died. Then Nicholas Oke jumped onto his saddle and rode off with his wife, leaving Lovelock dead beside his fallen horse. Nicholas had taken the precaution of removing Lovelock's purse and tossing it into the pond, so the murder was blamed on a couple of highwaymen who were active in that area. Alice Oke passed away many years later, as an old woman, during the reign of Charles II; but Nicholas didn’t live very long, and just before he died, he fell into a very strange state, often brooding and sometimes threatening to kill his wife. They say that in one of these fits, shortly before his death, he revealed the whole story of the murder and made a prediction that when the head of his house and master of Okehurst married another Alice Oke descended from him and his wife, it would be the end of the Okes of Okehurst. You see, that seems to be coming true. We have no children, and I doubt we ever will. I, at least, have never wanted any."

Mrs. Oke paused, and turned her face towards me with the absent smile in her thin cheeks: her eyes no longer had that distant look; they were strangely eager and fixed. I did not know what to answer; this woman positively frightened me. We remained for a moment in that same place, with the sunlight dying away in crimson ripples on the heather, gilding the yellow banks, the black waters of the pond, surrounded by thin rushes, and the yellow gravel-pits; while the wind blew in our faces and bent the ragged warped bluish tops of the firs. Then Mrs. Oke touched the horse, and off we went at a furious pace. We did not exchange a single word, I think, on the way home. Mrs. Oke sat with her eyes fixed on the reins, breaking the silence now and then only by a word to the horse, urging him to an even more furious pace. The people we met along the roads must have thought that the horse was running away, unless they noticed Mrs. Oke's calm manner and the look of excited enjoyment in her face. To me it seemed that I was in the hands of a madwoman, and I quietly prepared myself for being upset or dashed against a cart. It had turned cold, and the draught was icy in our faces when we got within sight of the red gables and high chimney-stacks of Okehurst. Mr. Oke was standing before the door. On our approach I saw a look of relieved suspense, of keen pleasure come into his face.

Mrs. Oke paused and turned her face towards me with a distracted smile on her thin cheeks: her eyes no longer looked distant; they were oddly eager and focused. I didn’t know how to respond; this woman genuinely scared me. We stood there for a moment, with the sunlight fading in crimson ripples on the heather, lighting up the yellow banks, the black water of the pond surrounded by thin reeds, and the yellow gravel pits; while the wind blew in our faces and bent the ragged, warped bluish tops of the firs. Then Mrs. Oke touched the horse, and we took off at a breakneck speed. I don’t think we exchanged a single word on the way home. Mrs. Oke kept her eyes fixed on the reins, breaking the silence only now and then with a word to the horse, urging him to go even faster. The people we passed on the road must have thought the horse was out of control, unless they noticed Mrs. Oke's calm demeanor and the look of excited enjoyment on her face. To me, it felt like I was in the hands of a madwoman, and I quietly braced myself for the possibility of being upset or crashing into a cart. It had gotten cold, and the wind was icy on our faces when we finally saw the red gables and tall chimney stacks of Okehurst. Mr. Oke was standing by the door. As we approached, I saw a look of relieved suspense and keen pleasure come over his face.

He lifted his wife out of the cart in his strong arms with a kind of chivalrous tenderness.

He lifted his wife out of the cart in his strong arms with a sort of noble tenderness.

"I am so glad to have you back, darling," he exclaimed—"so glad! I was delighted to hear you had gone out with the cart, but as you have not driven for so long, I was beginning to be frightfully anxious, dearest. Where have you been all this time?"

"I’m so happy to have you back, sweetheart," he said. "So happy! I was thrilled to hear you took the cart out, but since you haven’t driven in so long, I was starting to get really worried, darling. Where have you been this whole time?"

Mrs. Oke had quickly extricated herself from her husband, who had remained holding her, as one might hold a delicate child who has been causing anxiety. The gentleness and affection of the poor fellow had evidently not touched her—she seemed almost to recoil from it.

Mrs. Oke had quickly pulled away from her husband, who was still holding onto her, like someone holding a fragile child who has been causing worry. The kindness and love of the poor guy clearly hadn't affected her—she seemed almost to shy away from it.

"I have taken him to Cotes Common," she said, with that perverse look which I had noticed before, as she pulled off her driving-gloves. "It is such a splendid old place."

"I've taken him to Cotes Common," she said, that mischievous look I had seen before reappearing as she took off her driving gloves. "It's such a beautiful old place."

Mr. Oke flushed as if he had bitten upon a sore tooth, and the double gash painted itself scarlet between his eyebrows.

Mr. Oke turned red as if he had bitten a sore tooth, and the double gash appeared bright red between his eyebrows.

Outside, the mists were beginning to rise, veiling the park-land dotted with big black oaks, and from which, in the watery moonlight, rose on all sides the eerie little cry of the lambs separated from their mothers. It was damp and cold, and I shivered.

Outside, the mist was starting to lift, shrouding the park filled with large black oaks, and from all around, in the dim moonlight, came the unsettling cries of lambs separated from their mothers. It was damp and chilly, and I shivered.

7

7

The next day Okehurst was full of people, and Mrs. Oke, to my amazement, was doing the honours of it as if a house full of commonplace, noisy young creatures, bent upon flirting and tennis, were her usual idea of felicity.

The next day, Okehurst was packed with people, and Mrs. Oke, to my surprise, was hosting them as if a house full of ordinary, loud young folks, focused on flirting and playing tennis, was her normal idea of happiness.

The afternoon of the third day—they had come for an electioneering ball, and stayed three nights—the weather changed; it turned suddenly very cold and began to pour. Every one was sent indoors, and there was a general gloom suddenly over the company. Mrs. Oke seemed to have got sick of her guests, and was listlessly lying back on a couch, paying not the slightest attention to the chattering and piano-strumming in the room, when one of the guests suddenly proposed that they should play charades. He was a distant cousin of the Okes, a sort of fashionable artistic Bohemian, swelled out to intolerable conceit by the amateur-actor vogue of a season.

The afternoon of the third day—they had come for an election ball and ended up staying three nights—the weather changed; it got suddenly very cold and began to pour. Everyone was sent indoors, and a sense of gloom descended on the group. Mrs. Oke seemed to have grown tired of her guests and was listlessly reclining on a couch, paying no attention to the chattering and piano playing in the room, when one of the guests suddenly suggested they play charades. He was a distant cousin of the Okes, a kind of trendy artistic Bohemian, inflated with unbearable arrogance from the amateur-actor craze of the season.

"It would be lovely in this marvellous old place," he cried, "just to dress up, and parade about, and feel as if we belonged to the past. I have heard you have a marvellous collection of old costumes, more or less ever since the days of Noah, somewhere, Cousin Bill."

"It would be amazing in this incredible old place," he exclaimed, "just to get dressed up, walk around, and feel like we were part of the past. I’ve heard you have an amazing collection of old costumes, dating back to the days of Noah, somewhere, Cousin Bill."

The whole party exclaimed in joy at this proposal. William Oke looked puzzled for a moment, and glanced at his wife, who continued to lie listless on her sofa.

The whole group gasped in excitement at this suggestion. William Oke looked confused for a moment and glanced at his wife, who remained sprawled on her sofa, looking indifferent.

"There is a press full of clothes belonging to the family," he answered dubiously, apparently overwhelmed by the desire to please his guests; "but—but—I don't know whether it's quite respectful to dress up in the clothes of dead people."

"There’s a closet full of clothes that belong to the family,” he replied uncertainly, clearly eager to impress his guests; “but—but—I’m not sure if it’s really respectful to wear the clothing of those who have passed away.”

"Oh, fiddlestick!" cried the cousin. "What do the dead people know about it? Besides," he added, with mock seriousness, "I assure you we shall behave in the most reverent way and feel quite solemn about it all, if only you will give us the key, old man."

"Oh, come on!" shouted the cousin. "What do the dead people know about it? Besides," he added with a playful seriousness, "I promise we will act respectfully and take it all seriously, if you just give us the key, old man."

Again Mr. Oke looked towards his wife, and again met only her vague, absent glance.

Again, Mr. Oke looked at his wife, and again he only caught her vague, distant stare.

"Very well," he said, and led his guests upstairs.

"Alright," he said, and guided his guests upstairs.

An hour later the house was filled with the strangest crew and the strangest noises. I had entered, to a certain extent, into William Oke's feeling of unwillingness to let his ancestors' clothes and personality be taken in vain; but when the masquerade was complete, I must say that the effect was quite magnificent. A dozen youngish men and women—those who were staying in the house and some neighbours who had come for lawn-tennis and dinner—were rigged out, under the direction of the theatrical cousin, in the contents of that oaken press: and I have never seen a more beautiful sight than the panelled corridors, the carved and escutcheoned staircase, the dim drawing-rooms with their faded tapestries, the great hall with its vaulted and ribbed ceiling, dotted about with groups or single figures that seemed to have come straight from the past. Even William Oke, who, besides myself and a few elderly people, was the only man not masqueraded, seemed delighted and fired by the sight. A certain schoolboy character suddenly came out in him; and finding that there was no costume left for him, he rushed upstairs and presently returned in the uniform he had worn before his marriage. I thought I had really never seen so magnificent a specimen of the handsome Englishman; he looked, despite all the modern associations of his costume, more genuinely old-world than all the rest, a knight for the Black Prince or Sidney, with his admirably regular features and beautiful fair hair and complexion. After a minute, even the elderly people had got costumes of some sort—dominoes arranged at the moment, and hoods and all manner of disguises made out of pieces of old embroidery and Oriental stuffs and furs; and very soon this rabble of masquers had become, so to speak, completely drunk with its own amusement—with the childishness, and, if I may say so, the barbarism, the vulgarity underlying the majority even of well-bred English men and women—Mr. Oke himself doing the mountebank like a schoolboy at Christmas.

An hour later, the house was filled with the weirdest group and the craziest noises. I kind of got where William Oke was coming from with his reluctance to let his ancestors' clothes and vibe be used frivolously; but once the masquerade was in full swing, I have to say the effect was pretty amazing. A dozen young men and women—some staying at the house and others who came over for lawn tennis and dinner—were dressed up, guided by the theatrical cousin, in the stuff from that oak wardrobe. I've never seen a more beautiful sight than the panelled hallways, the intricately carved staircase, the dim drawing rooms with their faded tapestries, and the great hall with its vaulted ceiling, all filled with groups or single figures that looked like they walked straight out of history. Even William Oke, who, besides me and a few older folks, was the only man not in costume, seemed thrilled by what he saw. A certain schoolboy quality suddenly emerged in him; and finding there was no costume left for him, he dashed upstairs and shortly returned in the uniform he wore before getting married. I honestly thought I had never seen such a stunning version of the handsome Englishman; despite all the modern vibes of his outfit, he looked more genuinely old-world than anyone else, like a knight from the time of the Black Prince or Sidney, with his perfectly regular features and beautiful blond hair and complexion. After a minute, even the older folks managed to get into costumes of some kind—dominoes were put together in the meantime, along with hoods and all sorts of disguises made from pieces of old embroidery, Oriental fabrics, and furs; and soon, this crowd of masqueraders seemed completely intoxicated by their own fun—with the silliness, and, if I may add, the barbarism and the underlying vulgarity found in many well-bred English men and women—Mr. Oke himself acting like a showman like a schoolboy at Christmas.

"Where is Mrs. Oke? Where is Alice?" some one suddenly asked.

"Where's Mrs. Oke? Where's Alice?" someone suddenly asked.

Mrs. Oke had vanished. I could fully understand that to this eccentric being, with her fantastic, imaginative, morbid passion for the past, such a carnival as this must be positively revolting; and, absolutely indifferent as she was to giving offence, I could imagine how she would have retired, disgusted and outraged, to dream her strange day-dreams in the yellow room.

Mrs. Oke had disappeared. I could totally see how, to this quirky person with her bizarre, imaginative, and somewhat dark obsession with the past, an event like this must be completely repulsive; and since she couldn't care less about offending anyone, I could picture her retreating, feeling disgusted and outraged, to daydream in the yellow room.

But a moment later, as we were all noisily preparing to go in to dinner, the door opened and a strange figure entered, stranger than any of these others who were profaning the clothes of the dead: a boy, slight and tall, in a brown riding-coat, leathern belt, and big buff boots, a little grey cloak over one shoulder, a large grey hat slouched over the eyes, a dagger and pistol at the waist. It was Mrs. Oke, her eyes preternaturally bright, and her whole face lit up with a bold, perverse smile.

But a moment later, as we were all loudly getting ready to go in for dinner, the door opened and a strange figure walked in, stranger than any of the others who were disrespecting the clothes of the dead: a boy, slim and tall, wearing a brown riding coat, a leather belt, and large buff boots, a little gray cloak draped over one shoulder, a big gray hat tilted down over his eyes, a dagger and pistol at his waist. It was Mrs. Oke, her eyes unusually bright, and her whole face lit up with a daring, twisted smile.

Every one exclaimed, and stood aside. Then there was a moment's silence, broken by faint applause. Even to a crew of noisy boys and girls playing the fool in the garments of men and women long dead and buried, there is something questionable in the sudden appearance of a young married woman, the mistress of the house, in a riding-coat and jackboots; and Mrs. Oke's expression did not make the jest seem any the less questionable.

Everyone exclaimed and stepped aside. Then there was a brief silence, followed by faint applause. Even for a group of noisy boys and girls playfully dressing up in the clothes of long-dead men and women, there’s something strange about the sudden arrival of a young married woman, the lady of the house, wearing a riding coat and boots; and Mrs. Oke’s expression didn't make the situation seem any less odd.

"What is that costume?" asked the theatrical cousin, who, after a second, had come to the conclusion that Mrs. Oke was merely a woman of marvellous talent whom he must try and secure for his amateur troop next season.

"What is that costume?" asked the theatrical cousin, who, after a moment, had decided that Mrs. Oke was just a woman of incredible talent that he needed to recruit for his amateur group next season.

"It is the dress in which an ancestress of ours, my namesake Alice Oke, used to go out riding with her husband in the days of Charles I.," she answered, and took her seat at the head of the table. Involuntarily my eyes sought those of Oke of Okehurst. He, who blushed as easily as a girl of sixteen, was now as white as ashes, and I noticed that he pressed his hand almost convulsively to his mouth.

"It’s the dress my ancestor, my namesake Alice Oke, wore when she used to go riding with her husband during the time of Charles I," she replied, taking her seat at the head of the table. Without thinking, I glanced at Oke of Okehurst. He, who blushed as easily as a sixteen-year-old girl, was now as pale as ash, and I noticed he was pressing his hand against his mouth almost in a panic.

"Don't you recognise my dress, William?" asked Mrs. Oke, fixing her eyes upon him with a cruel smile.

"Don't you recognize my dress, William?" Mrs. Oke asked, locking her gaze on him with a cruel smile.

He did not answer, and there was a moment's silence, which the theatrical cousin had the happy thought of breaking by jumping upon his seat and emptying off his glass with the exclamation—

He didn’t answer, and there was a brief silence, which the dramatic cousin cleverly broke by jumping onto his seat and downing his drink while exclaiming—

"To the health of the two Alice Okes, of the past and the present!"

"To the health of both Alice Okes, from the past and the present!"

Mrs. Oke nodded, and with an expression I had never seen in her face before, answered in a loud and aggressive tone—

Mrs. Oke nodded, and with an expression I had never seen on her face before, replied in a loud and forceful tone—

"To the health of the poet, Mr. Christopher Lovelock, if his ghost be honouring this house with its presence!"

"To the health of the poet, Mr. Christopher Lovelock, if his ghost is honoring this house with its presence!"

I felt suddenly as if I were in a madhouse. Across the table, in the midst of this room full of noisy wretches, tricked out red, blue, purple, and parti-coloured, as men and women of the sixteenth, seventeenth, and eighteenth centuries, as improvised Turks and Eskimos, and dominoes, and clowns, with faces painted and corked and floured over, I seemed to see that sanguine sunset, washing like a sea of blood over the heather, to where, by the black pond and the wind-warped firs, there lay the body of Christopher Lovelock, with his dead horse near him, the yellow gravel and lilac ling soaked crimson all around; and above emerged, as out of the redness, the pale blond head covered with the grey hat, the absent eyes, and strange smile of Mrs. Oke. It seemed to me horrible, vulgar, abominable, as if I had got inside a madhouse.

I suddenly felt like I was in a crazy place. Across the table, in this room full of loud, messed-up people dressed in red, blue, purple, and all sorts of colors, like characters from the sixteenth, seventeenth, and eighteenth centuries, or makeshift Turks and Eskimos, and clowns with painted, corked, and floured faces, I thought I saw that deep red sunset, washing over the heather like a sea of blood, leading to the black pond and the bent fir trees where Christopher Lovelock’s body lay, with his dead horse beside him, the yellow gravel and lilac heather soaked in crimson all around; and rising from the red, I could see the pale blond head wearing a grey hat, the vacant eyes, and strange smile of Mrs. Oke. It felt horrible, tacky, disgusting, as if I had stepped into a madhouse.

8

8

From that moment I noticed a change in William Oke; or rather, a change that had probably been coming on for some time got to the stage of being noticeable.

From that moment, I noticed a change in William Oke; or rather, a change that had probably been developing for a while reached a point where it became noticeable.

I don't know whether he had any words with his wife about her masquerade of that unlucky evening. On the whole I decidedly think not. Oke was with every one a diffident and reserved man, and most of all so with his wife; besides, I can fancy that he would experience a positive impossibility of putting into words any strong feeling of disapprobation towards her, that his disgust would necessarily be silent. But be this as it may, I perceived very soon that the relations between my host and hostess had become exceedingly strained. Mrs. Oke, indeed, had never paid much attention to her husband, and seemed merely a trifle more indifferent to his presence than she had been before. But Oke himself, although he affected to address her at meals from a desire to conceal his feeling, and a fear of making the position disagreeable to me, very clearly could scarcely bear to speak to or even see his wife. The poor fellow's honest soul was quite brimful of pain, which he was determined not to allow to overflow, and which seemed to filter into his whole nature and poison it. This woman had shocked and pained him more than was possible to say, and yet it was evident that he could neither cease loving her nor commence comprehending her real nature. I sometimes felt, as we took our long walks through the monotonous country, across the oak-dotted grazing-grounds, and by the brink of the dull-green, serried hop-rows, talking at rare intervals about the value of the crops, the drainage of the estate, the village schools, the Primrose League, and the iniquities of Mr. Gladstone, while Oke of Okehurst carefully cut down every tall thistle that caught his eye—I sometimes felt, I say, an intense and impotent desire to enlighten this man about his wife's character. I seemed to understand it so well, and to understand it well seemed to imply such a comfortable acquiescence; and it seemed so unfair that just he should be condemned to puzzle for ever over this enigma, and wear out his soul trying to comprehend what now seemed so plain to me. But how would it ever be possible to get this serious, conscientious, slow-brained representative of English simplicity and honesty and thoroughness to understand the mixture of self-engrossed vanity, of shallowness, of poetic vision, of love of morbid excitement, that walked this earth under the name of Alice Oke?

I’m not sure if he ever talked to his wife about her disguise from that unfortunate evening. Overall, I really don’t think he did. Oke was a shy and reserved man with everyone, especially with his wife; besides, I can imagine he found it almost impossible to voice any strong disapproval towards her, which meant his disgust was likely kept silent. Regardless, I noticed pretty quickly that the relationship between my host and hostess had become extremely strained. Mrs. Oke had never paid much attention to her husband and seemed just a bit more indifferent to his presence than before. But Oke himself, although he tried to engage her at meals to hide his feelings and avoid making things uncomfortable for me, clearly could hardly stand to talk to or even look at his wife. The poor guy was full of pain that he was determined not to let show, which seemed to seep into his whole being and poison it. This woman had shocked and hurt him more than words could express, yet it was clear that he couldn't stop loving her or truly grasp her real nature. Sometimes, as we took our long walks through the monotonous countryside, across the oak-dotted pastures and beside the dull-green rows of hops, talking only occasionally about the value of the crops, estate drainage, village schools, the Primrose League, and Mr. Gladstone’s wrongdoings, while Oke of Okehurst meticulously cut down every tall thistle he spotted—I found myself feeling a deep and helpless urge to enlighten this man about his wife's character. I felt like I understood it so well, and that understanding seemed to bring such a comfortable sense of clarity; it felt so unfair that he had to keep struggling with this puzzle and exhaust his spirit trying to grasp what now seemed so obvious to me. But how could I ever get this serious, conscientious, slow-witted representative of English simplicity, honesty, and thoroughness to understand the blend of self-absorbed vanity, shallowness, poetic vision, and a love for morbid excitement that went by the name of Alice Oke?

So Oke of Okehurst was condemned never to understand; but he was condemned also to suffer from his inability to do so. The poor fellow was constantly straining after an explanation of his wife's peculiarities; and although the effort was probably unconscious, it caused him a great deal of pain. The gash—the maniac-frown, as my friend calls it—between his eyebrows, seemed to have grown a permanent feature of his face.

So Oke of Okehurst was doomed to never understand; but he was also doomed to suffer from his inability to do so. The poor guy was always trying to figure out his wife's quirks; and even though the effort was probably unintentional, it caused him a lot of pain. The deep crease—the mad frown, as my friend calls it—between his eyebrows seemed to have become a permanent part of his face.

Mrs. Oke, on her side, was making the very worst of the situation. Perhaps she resented her husband's tacit reproval of that masquerade night's freak, and determined to make him swallow more of the same stuff, for she clearly thought that one of William's peculiarities, and one for which she despised him, was that he could never be goaded into an outspoken expression of disapprobation; that from her he would swallow any amount of bitterness without complaining. At any rate she now adopted a perfect policy of teasing and shocking her husband about the murder of Lovelock. She was perpetually alluding to it in her conversation, discussing in his presence what had or had not been the feelings of the various actors in the tragedy of 1626, and insisting upon her resemblance and almost identity with the original Alice Oke. Something had suggested to her eccentric mind that it would be delightful to perform in the garden at Okehurst, under the huge ilexes and elms, a little masque which she had discovered among Christopher Lovelock's works; and she began to scour the country and enter into vast correspondence for the purpose of effectuating this scheme. Letters arrived every other day from the theatrical cousin, whose only objection was that Okehurst was too remote a locality for an entertainment in which he foresaw great glory to himself. And every now and then there would arrive some young gentleman or lady, whom Alice Oke had sent for to see whether they would do.

Mrs. Oke was making the situation even worse. Maybe she was upset with her husband for silently judging that wild masquerade night and decided to make him confront more of the same drama. She clearly believed that one of William's quirks, which she despised, was that he could never be pushed into openly expressing disapproval; he would accept any amount of her bitterness without a word of complaint. Anyway, she now embraced a strategy of teasing and shocking her husband about the murder of Lovelock. She constantly brought it up in conversation, discussing in his presence what the various people involved in the 1626 tragedy might have felt, and insisting on her resemblance and almost identity with the original Alice Oke. Something had sparked her eccentric mind to think it would be fun to perform a little masque in the garden at Okehurst, beneath the giant ilexes and elms, which she had found among Christopher Lovelock's works. She began searching the countryside and entering into extensive correspondence to make this plan happen. Letters came every other day from her theatrical cousin, who only objected that Okehurst was too far from where he envisioned gaining much glory. And now and then, a young gentleman or lady would arrive, whom Alice Oke had summoned to see if they would be suitable.

I saw very plainly that the performance would never take place, and that Mrs. Oke herself had no intention that it ever should. She was one of those creatures to whom realisation of a project is nothing, and who enjoy plan-making almost the more for knowing that all will stop short at the plan. Meanwhile, this perpetual talk about the pastoral, about Lovelock, this continual attitudinising as the wife of Nicholas Oke, had the further attraction to Mrs. Oke of putting her husband into a condition of frightful though suppressed irritation, which she enjoyed with the enjoyment of a perverse child. You must not think that I looked on indifferent, although I admit that this was a perfect treat to an amateur student of character like myself. I really did feel most sorry for poor Oke, and frequently quite indignant with his wife. I was several times on the point of begging her to have more consideration for him, even of suggesting that this kind of behavior, particularly before a comparative stranger like me, was very poor taste. But there was something elusive about Mrs. Oke, which made it next to impossible to speak seriously with her; and besides, I was by no means sure that any interference on my part would not merely animate her perversity.

I saw very clearly that the performance would never happen, and that Mrs. Oke had no intention of making it happen. She was one of those people who find satisfaction in planning, knowing that it will all come to a halt at the planning stage. Meanwhile, all this constant chatter about the pastoral, about Lovelock, this ongoing posing as the wife of Nicholas Oke, had the added effect of putting her husband into a state of extreme but hidden frustration, which she found amusing, like a mischievous child. Please don’t think I was indifferent; I admit this was a real treat for an amateur student of character like me. I genuinely felt sorry for poor Oke, and I often found myself quite angry with his wife. Several times, I was on the verge of asking her to be more considerate toward him, even suggesting that this kind of behavior, especially in front of a relative stranger like me, was in really poor taste. But there was something elusive about Mrs. Oke that made it nearly impossible to speak seriously with her; plus, I wasn’t at all sure that any interference on my part wouldn’t just fuel her rebelliousness.

One evening a curious incident took place. We had just sat down to dinner, the Okes, the theatrical cousin, who was down for a couple of days, and three or four neighbours. It was dusk, and the yellow light of the candles mingled charmingly with the greyness of the evening. Mrs. Oke was not well, and had been remarkably quiet all day, more diaphanous, strange, and far-away than ever; and her husband seemed to have felt a sudden return of tenderness, almost of compassion, for this delicate, fragile creature. We had been talking of quite indifferent matters, when I saw Mr. Oke suddenly turn very white, and look fixedly for a moment at the window opposite to his seat.

One evening, something strange happened. We had just sat down for dinner: the Okes, their theatrical cousin who was visiting for a couple of days, and three or four neighbors. It was getting dark, and the warm glow of the candles blended beautifully with the evening's greyness. Mrs. Oke wasn’t feeling well and had been unusually quiet all day, more ethereal, odd, and distant than ever; her husband seemed to suddenly feel a surge of tenderness, almost compassion, for this delicate, fragile person. We had been discussing pretty mundane topics when I noticed Mr. Oke suddenly go very pale and stare intently for a moment at the window across from him.

"Who's that fellow looking in at the window, and making signs to you, Alice? Damn his impudence!" he cried, and jumping up, ran to the window, opened it, and passed out into the twilight. We all looked at each other in surprise; some of the party remarked upon the carelessness of servants in letting nasty-looking fellows hang about the kitchen, others told stories of tramps and burglars. Mrs. Oke did not speak; but I noticed the curious, distant-looking smile in her thin cheeks.

"Who's that guy peeking through the window and signaling to you, Alice? What nerve!" he shouted, jumped up, ran to the window, opened it, and stepped out into the dusk. We all exchanged surprised glances; some in the group commented on how careless the staff were for allowing sketchy-looking people to loiter around the kitchen, while others shared stories about vagrants and thieves. Mrs. Oke remained silent; however, I noticed the strange, distant smile on her thin cheeks.

After a minute William Oke came in, his napkin in his hand. He shut the window behind him and silently resumed his place.

After a minute, William Oke walked in, his napkin in hand. He closed the window behind him and quietly returned to his seat.

"Well, who was it?" we all asked.

"Well, who was it?" we all asked.

"Nobody. I—I must have made a mistake," he answered, and turned crimson, while he busily peeled a pear.

"Nobody. I—I must have made a mistake," he said, turning red as he quickly peeled a pear.

"It was probably Lovelock," remarked Mrs. Oke, just as she might have said, "It was probably the gardener," but with that faint smile of pleasure still in her face. Except the theatrical cousin, who burst into a loud laugh, none of the company had ever heard Lovelock's name, and, doubtless imagining him to be some natural appanage of the Oke family, groom or farmer, said nothing, so the subject dropped.

"It was probably Lovelock," Mrs. Oke said, just as she might have said, "It was probably the gardener," but with a slight smile of enjoyment still on her face. Except for the theatrical cousin, who laughed loudly, none of the others had ever heard of Lovelock, and, likely thinking he was just some regular part of the Oke family, like a groom or a farmer, said nothing, so the topic faded away.

From that evening onwards things began to assume a different aspect. That incident was the beginning of a perfect system—a system of what? I scarcely know how to call it. A system of grim jokes on the part of Mrs. Oke, of superstitious fancies on the part of her husband—a system of mysterious persecutions on the part of some less earthly tenant of Okehurst. Well, yes, after all, why not? We have all heard of ghosts, had uncles, cousins, grandmothers, nurses, who have seen them; we are all a bit afraid of them at the bottom of our soul; so why shouldn't they be? I am too sceptical to believe in the impossibility of anything, for my part!

From that evening on, things started to look different. That incident marked the beginning of a strange system—what kind of system? I'm not quite sure how to label it. It was a system of dark humor from Mrs. Oke, of superstitious beliefs from her husband—a system of mysterious hauntings from some less earthly occupant of Okehurst. Well, why not? We've all heard of ghosts, had uncles, cousins, grandmothers, or nurses who claimed to see them; there's always a bit of fear about them deep down in our souls, so why shouldn't they be real? Personally, I'm too skeptical to dismiss the possibility of anything!

Besides, when a man has lived throughout a summer in the same house with a woman like Mrs. Oke of Okehurst, he gets to believe in the possibility of a great many improbable things, I assure you, as a mere result of believing in her. And when you come to think of it, why not? That a weird creature, visibly not of this earth, a reincarnation of a woman who murdered her lover two centuries and a half ago, that such a creature should have the power of attracting about her (being altogether superior to earthly lovers) the man who loved her in that previous existence, whose love for her was his death—what is there astonishing in that? Mrs. Oke herself, I feel quite persuaded, believed or half believed it; indeed she very seriously admitted the possibility thereof, one day that I made the suggestion half in jest. At all events, it rather pleased me to think so; it fitted in so well with the woman's whole personality; it explained those hours and hours spent all alone in the yellow room, where the very air, with its scent of heady flowers and old perfumed stuffs, seemed redolent of ghosts. It explained that strange smile which was not for any of us, and yet was not merely for herself—that strange, far-off look in the wide pale eyes. I liked the idea, and I liked to tease, or rather to delight her with it. How should I know that the wretched husband would take such matters seriously?

Besides, when a man spends a whole summer living in the same house as a woman like Mrs. Oke of Okehurst, he starts to believe in the possibility of a lot of unlikely things, I assure you, just because he believes in her. And when you think about it, why not? That a strange being, clearly not of this world, a reincarnation of a woman who killed her lover two and a half centuries ago, could have the ability to attract the man who loved her in that past life, whose love for her led to his death—what’s so surprising about that? I’m quite convinced that Mrs. Oke herself believed or half-believed it; she even seriously acknowledged the possibility one day when I brought it up half-jokingly. In any case, I found it rather enjoyable to think so; it suited her whole personality perfectly. It explained the countless hours she spent alone in the yellow room, where the air, infused with the scent of lush flowers and old perfumes, seemed filled with ghosts. It clarified that strange smile that wasn’t directed at any of us, yet wasn’t merely for herself—that odd, distant look in her wide, pale eyes. I liked the idea, and I enjoyed teasing, or rather delighting her with it. How was I supposed to know that her miserable husband would take such things seriously?

He became day by day more silent and perplexed-looking; and, as a result, worked harder, and probably with less effect, at his land-improving schemes and political canvassing. It seemed to me that he was perpetually listening, watching, waiting for something to happen: a word spoken suddenly, the sharp opening of a door, would make him start, turn crimson, and almost tremble; the mention of Lovelock brought a helpless look, half a convulsion, like that of a man overcome by great heat, into his face. And his wife, so far from taking any interest in his altered looks, went on irritating him more and more. Every time that the poor fellow gave one of those starts of his, or turned crimson at the sudden sound of a footstep, Mrs. Oke would ask him, with her contemptuous indifference, whether he had seen Lovelock. I soon began to perceive that my host was getting perfectly ill. He would sit at meals never saying a word, with his eyes fixed scrutinisingly on his wife, as if vainly trying to solve some dreadful mystery; while his wife, ethereal, exquisite, went on talking in her listless way about the masque, about Lovelock, always about Lovelock. During our walks and rides, which we continued pretty regularly, he would start whenever in the roads or lanes surrounding Okehurst, or in its grounds, we perceived a figure in the distance. I have seen him tremble at what, on nearer approach, I could scarcely restrain my laughter on discovering to be some well-known farmer or neighbour or servant. Once, as we were returning home at dusk, he suddenly caught my arm and pointed across the oak-dotted pastures in the direction of the garden, then started off almost at a run, with his dog behind him, as if in pursuit of some intruder.

He became more silent and confused each day; as a result, he worked harder, probably with less success, on his land improvement projects and political campaigning. It seemed like he was always listening, watching, and waiting for something to happen: a sudden word or the sharp opening of a door would make him jump, turn red, and almost tremble; just mentioning Lovelock gave him a helpless expression, almost a convulsion, like a man overwhelmed by heat. And his wife, far from caring about his changed appearance, continued to irritate him more and more. Every time the poor guy jumped or turned red at the sudden sound of someone’s footsteps, Mrs. Oke would ask him, with her dismissive attitude, if he had seen Lovelock. I soon realized that my host was becoming quite ill. He would sit at meals without saying a word, his eyes fixed intently on his wife, as if trying to solve some terrible mystery; meanwhile, his wife, ethereal and exquisite, kept talking in her disinterested way about the masquerade, about Lovelock, always about Lovelock. During our walks and rides, which we continued quite regularly, he would jump every time we saw a figure in the distance on the roads or lanes around Okehurst, or in its grounds. I’ve seen him tremble at what, upon closer inspection, would turn out to be some familiar farmer, neighbor, or servant. Once, as we were heading home at dusk, he suddenly grabbed my arm and pointed across the oak-dotted pastures towards the garden, then took off almost running, with his dog trailing behind him, as if chasing an intruder.

"Who was it?" I asked. And Mr. Oke merely shook his head mournfully. Sometimes in the early autumn twilights, when the white mists rose from the park-land, and the rooks formed long black lines on the palings, I almost fancied I saw him start at the very trees and bushes, the outlines of the distant oast-houses, with their conical roofs and projecting vanes, like gibing fingers in the half light.

"Who was it?" I asked. Mr. Oke just shook his head sadly. Sometimes in the early autumn evenings, when the white mist rose from the park, and the crows lined up in long black rows on the fences, I almost thought I saw him react to the trees and bushes, the shapes of the distant oast houses with their pointed roofs and sticking vanes, like mocking fingers in the dim light.

"Your husband is ill," I once ventured to remark to Mrs. Oke, as she sat for the hundred-and-thirtieth of my preparatory sketches (I somehow could never get beyond preparatory sketches with her). She raised her beautiful, wide, pale eyes, making as she did so that exquisite curve of shoulders and neck and delicate pale head that I so vainly longed to reproduce.

"Your husband is sick," I once dared to say to Mrs. Oke, while she posed for the hundred-and-thirtieth of my preliminary sketches (I just could never get beyond preliminary sketches with her). She lifted her beautiful, wide, pale eyes, creating that stunning curve of shoulders and neck and delicate pale head that I so desperately wanted to capture.

"I don't see it," she answered quietly. "If he is, why doesn't he go up to town and see the doctor? It's merely one of his glum fits."

"I don't see it," she replied softly. "If he is, then why doesn't he go into town and see a doctor? It's just one of his moody spells."

"You should not tease him about Lovelock," I added, very seriously. "He will get to believe in him."

"You shouldn't make fun of him for Lovelock," I said, very seriously. "He might actually start believing in him."

"Why not? If he sees him, why he sees him. He would not be the only person that has done so"; and she smiled faintly and half perversely, as her eyes sought that usual distant indefinable something.

"Why not? If he sees him, then he sees him. He wouldn't be the only one who's done that"; and she smiled faintly and somewhat teasingly, as her eyes searched for that usual distant, undefinable something.

But Oke got worse. He was growing perfectly unstrung, like a hysterical woman. One evening that we were sitting alone in the smoking-room, he began unexpectedly a rambling discourse about his wife; how he had first known her when they were children, and they had gone to the same dancing-school near Portland Place; how her mother, his aunt-in-law, had brought her for Christmas to Okehurst while he was on his holidays; how finally, thirteen years ago, when he was twenty-three and she was eighteen, they had been married; how terribly he had suffered when they had been disappointed of their baby, and she had nearly died of the illness.

But Oke got worse. He was becoming completely unhinged, like an overly emotional person. One evening while we were alone in the smoking room, he suddenly started talking in a roundabout way about his wife; how he had first met her when they were kids, and they both attended the same dance school near Portland Place; how her mother, his aunt-in-law, had brought her to Okehurst for Christmas while he was on holiday; how finally, thirteen years ago, when he was twenty-three and she was eighteen, they had gotten married; how deeply he had suffered when they lost their baby, and she had almost died from the illness.

"I did not mind about the child, you know," he said in an excited voice; "although there will be an end of us now, and Okehurst will go to the Curtises. I minded only about Alice." It was next to inconceivable that this poor excited creature, speaking almost with tears in his voice and in his eyes, was the quiet, well-got-up, irreproachable young ex-Guardsman who had walked into my studio a couple of months before.

"I didn't care about the kid, you know," he said excitedly; "even though it means the end for us now, and Okehurst will go to the Curtises. I only cared about Alice." It was nearly unbelievable that this poor, agitated person, speaking almost with tears in his voice and eyes, was the calm, well-dressed, flawless young ex-Guardsman who had walked into my studio a couple of months earlier.

Oke was silent for a moment, looking fixedly at the rug at his feet, when he suddenly burst out in a scarce audible voice—

Oke was quiet for a moment, staring intently at the rug under his feet, when he suddenly spoke up in a barely audible voice—

"If you knew how I cared for Alice—how I still care for her. I could kiss the ground she walks upon. I would give anything—my life any day—if only she would look for two minutes as if she liked me a little—as if she didn't utterly despise me"; and the poor fellow burst into a hysterical laugh, which was almost a sob. Then he suddenly began to laugh outright, exclaiming, with a sort of vulgarity of intonation which was extremely foreign to him—

"If you only knew how much I care for Alice—how I still care for her. I could kiss the ground she walks on. I would give anything—my life any day—if only she would look at me for two minutes as if she liked me just a little—as if she didn’t completely hate me"; and the poor guy broke into a hysterical laugh, which was nearly a sob. Then he suddenly started laughing openly, saying, with a kind of crudeness in his tone that was so uncharacteristic of him—

"Damn it, old fellow, this is a queer world we live in!" and rang for more brandy and soda, which he was beginning, I noticed, to take pretty freely now, although he had been almost a blue-ribbon man—as much so as is possible for a hospitable country gentleman—when I first arrived.

"Damn it, my old friend, this is a strange world we live in!" He rang for more brandy and soda, which I noticed he was starting to drink quite regularly now, even though he had been almost a standout guy—at least as much as a welcoming country gentleman can be—when I first got here.

9

9

It became clear to me now that, incredible as it might seem, the thing that ailed William Oke was jealousy. He was simply madly in love with his wife, and madly jealous of her. Jealous—but of whom? He himself would probably have been quite unable to say. In the first place—to clear off any possible suspicion—certainly not of me. Besides the fact that Mrs. Oke took only just a very little more interest in me than in the butler or the upper-housemaid, I think that Oke himself was the sort of man whose imagination would recoil from realising any definite object of jealousy, even though jealously might be killing him inch by inch. It remained a vague, permeating, continuous feeling—the feeling that he loved her, and she did not care a jackstraw about him, and that everything with which she came into contact was receiving some of that notice which was refused to him—every person, or thing, or tree, or stone: it was the recognition of that strange far-off look in Mrs. Oke's eyes, of that strange absent smile on Mrs. Oke's lips—eyes and lips that had no look and no smile for him.

It became clear to me now that, incredible as it might seem, the thing that troubled William Oke was jealousy. He was completely in love with his wife and wildly jealous of her. Jealous—but of whom? He probably wouldn’t have been able to say. First of all—to dismiss any possible suspicion—certainly not of me. Besides the fact that Mrs. Oke showed only a little more interest in me than in the butler or the housekeeper, I think Oke himself was the kind of guy whose imagination would shy away from identifying any specific object of jealousy, even though that jealousy might be slowly consuming him. It remained a vague, all-encompassing, constant feeling—the feeling that he loved her, and she didn’t care a bit about him, and that everything she came into contact with got some attention that was denied to him—every person, or thing, or tree, or stone: it was the recognition of that strange distant look in Mrs. Oke's eyes, of that strange absent smile on Mrs. Oke's lips—eyes and lips that had no look and no smile for him.

Gradually his nervousness, his watchfulness, suspiciousness, tendency to start, took a definite shape. Mr. Oke was for ever alluding to steps or voices he had heard, to figures he had seen sneaking round the house. The sudden bark of one of the dogs would make him jump up. He cleaned and loaded very carefully all the guns and revolvers in his study, and even some of the old fowling-pieces and holster-pistols in the hall. The servants and tenants thought that Oke of Okehurst had been seized with a terror of tramps and burglars. Mrs. Oke smiled contemptuously at all these doings.

Gradually, his nervousness, watchfulness, suspicion, and tendency to jump at things became more apparent. Mr. Oke kept bringing up footsteps or voices he thought he had heard and shadows he believed he had seen lurking around the house. The sudden bark of one of the dogs would make him leap up. He meticulously cleaned and loaded all the guns and revolvers in his study, along with some old shotguns and holster pistols in the hall. The servants and tenants thought Oke of Okehurst had developed a fear of tramps and burglars. Mrs. Oke looked down on all these actions with disdain.

"My dear William," she said one day, "the persons who worry you have just as good a right to walk up and down the passages and staircase, and to hang about the house, as you or I. They were there, in all probability, long before either of us was born, and are greatly amused by your preposterous notions of privacy."

"My dear William," she said one day, "the people who annoy you have just as much right to walk up and down the halls and stairs, and to hang around the house, as you or I do. They were probably here long before either of us was born, and they're quite entertained by your ridiculous ideas about privacy."

Mr. Oke laughed angrily. "I suppose you will tell me it is Lovelock—your eternal Lovelock—whose steps I hear on the gravel every night. I suppose he has as good a right to be here as you or I." And he strode out of the room.

Mr. Oke laughed, annoyed. "I guess you're going to say it's Lovelock—your forever Lovelock—whose footsteps I hear on the gravel every night. I suppose he has just as much right to be here as you or I." And he walked out of the room.

"Lovelock—Lovelock! Why will she always go on like that about Lovelock?"
Mr. Oke asked me that evening, suddenly staring me in the face.

"Lovelock—Lovelock! Why does she always talk about Lovelock like that?"
Mr. Oke asked me that evening, suddenly looking me in the eye.

I merely laughed.

I just laughed.

"It's only because she has that play of his on the brain," I answered; "and because she thinks you superstitious, and likes to tease you."

"It's just because she's got that play of his on her mind," I replied, "and because she thinks you're superstitious and enjoys teasing you."

"I don't understand," sighed Oke.

"I don't get it," sighed Oke.

How could he? And if I had tried to make him do so, he would merely have thought I was insulting his wife, and have perhaps kicked me out of the room. So I made no attempt to explain psychological problems to him, and he asked me no more questions until once—But I must first mention a curious incident that happened.

How could he? And if I had tried to make him do it, he would just have thought I was disrespecting his wife and might have kicked me out of the room. So I didn't try to explain any psychological issues to him, and he didn't ask me any more questions until once—But first, I need to mention a strange incident that happened.

The incident was simply this. Returning one afternoon from our usual walk, Mr. Oke suddenly asked the servant whether any one had come. The answer was in the negative; but Oke did not seem satisfied. We had hardly sat down to dinner when he turned to his wife and asked, in a strange voice which I scarcely recognised as his own, who had called that afternoon.

The incident was just this. Coming back one afternoon from our usual walk, Mr. Oke suddenly asked the servant if anyone had come by. The answer was no, but Oke didn’t seem satisfied. We had barely sat down to dinner when he turned to his wife and asked, in a strange voice I hardly recognized as his, who had called that afternoon.

"No one," answered Mrs. Oke; "at least to the best of my knowledge."

"No one," replied Mrs. Oke; "at least as far as I know."

William Oke looked at her fixedly.

William Oke stared at her intently.

"No one?" he repeated, in a scrutinising tone; "no one, Alice?"

"No one?" he asked, his tone questioning; "no one, Alice?"

Mrs. Oke shook her head. "No one," she replied.

Mrs. Oke shook her head. "No one," she said.

There was a pause.

There was a break.

"Who was it, then, that was walking with you near the pond, about five o'clock?" asked Oke slowly.

"Who was it that was walking with you by the pond around five o'clock?" Oke asked slowly.

His wife lifted her eyes straight to his and answered contemptuously—

His wife looked him in the eye and replied with disdain—

"No one was walking with me near the pond, at five o'clock or any other hour."

"No one was walking with me by the pond at five o'clock or any other time."

Mr. Oke turned purple, and made a curious hoarse noise like a man choking.

Mr. Oke turned purple and made a strange, hoarse sound like someone choking.

"I—I thought I saw you walking with a man this afternoon, Alice," he brought out with an effort; adding, for the sake of appearances before me, "I thought it might have been the curate come with that report for me."

"I—I thought I saw you walking with a man this afternoon, Alice," he said with difficulty; adding, to maintain appearances in front of me, "I thought it might have been the curate coming with that report for me."

Mrs. Oke smiled.

Mrs. Oke smiled.

"I can only repeat that no living creature has been near me this afternoon," she said slowly. "If you saw any one with me, it must have been Lovelock, for there certainly was no one else."

"I can only say again that no living person has been near me this afternoon," she said slowly. "If you saw anyone with me, it must have been Lovelock, because there definitely was no one else."

And she gave a little sigh, like a person trying to reproduce in her mind some delightful but too evanescent impression.

And she let out a small sigh, like someone attempting to recall a delightful but fleeting memory.

I looked at my host; from crimson his face had turned perfectly livid, and he breathed as if some one were squeezing his windpipe.

I looked at my host; his face had gone from red to completely pale, and he was breathing like someone was choking him.

No more was said about the matter. I vaguely felt that a great danger was threatening. To Oke or to Mrs. Oke? I could not tell which; but I was aware of an imperious inner call to avert some dreadful evil, to exert myself, to explain, to interpose. I determined to speak to Oke the following day, for I trusted him to give me a quiet hearing, and I did not trust Mrs. Oke. That woman would slip through my fingers like a snake if I attempted to grasp her elusive character.

No one mentioned it again. I had a faint sense that something serious was looming. Was it Oke or Mrs. Oke in danger? I couldn't tell, but I felt a strong urge to stop some terrible outcome, to take action, to explain, to step in. I decided to talk to Oke the next day because I believed he would listen calmly, while I didn't trust Mrs. Oke. That woman would slip away from me like a snake if I tried to get a handle on her slippery nature.

I asked Oke whether he would take a walk with me the next afternoon, and he accepted to do so with a curious eagerness. We started about three o'clock. It was a stormy, chilly afternoon, with great balls of white clouds rolling rapidly in the cold blue sky, and occasional lurid gleams of sunlight, broad and yellow, which made the black ridge of the storm, gathered on the horizon, look blue-black like ink.

I asked Oke if he wanted to take a walk with me the next afternoon, and he eagerly agreed. We set out around three o'clock. It was a stormy, chilly afternoon, with fluffy white clouds quickly rolling across the cold blue sky, and occasional bright bursts of yellow sunlight that made the dark storm clouds gathering on the horizon appear a deep blue-black, almost like ink.

We walked quickly across the sere and sodden grass of the park, and on to the highroad that led over the low hills, I don't know why, in the direction of Cotes Common. Both of us were silent, for both of us had something to say, and did not know how to begin. For my part, I recognised the impossibility of starting the subject: an uncalled-for interference from me would merely indispose Mr. Oke, and make him doubly dense of comprehension. So, if Oke had something to say, which he evidently had, it was better to wait for him.

We hurried across the dry and soggy grass of the park and onto the road that wound over the low hills toward Cotes Common. Neither of us spoke, even though we both had things on our minds that we didn’t know how to express. I understood it would be pointless for me to bring up the topic; any unsolicited comment from me would only annoy Mr. Oke and make him even less likely to understand. So, if Oke had something to share, which he clearly did, it was best to wait for him.

Oke, however, broke the silence only by pointing out to me the condition of the hops, as we passed one of his many hop-gardens. "It will be a poor year," he said, stopping short and looking intently before him—"no hops at all. No hops this autumn."

Oke, however, only broke the silence by pointing out the state of the hops as we passed one of his many hop gardens. "It's going to be a bad year," he said, stopping suddenly and looking carefully ahead—"no hops at all. No hops this fall."

I looked at him. It was clear that he had no notion what he was saying. The dark-green bines were covered with fruit; and only yesterday he himself had informed me that he had not seen such a profusion of hops for many years.

I looked at him. It was obvious that he had no idea what he was talking about. The dark-green bines were loaded with fruit; and just yesterday he told me that he hadn't seen such a huge amount of hops in many years.

I did not answer, and we walked on. A cart met us in a dip of the road, and the carter touched his hat and greeted Mr. Oke. But Oke took no heed; he did not seem to be aware of the man's presence.

I didn't reply, and we kept walking. A cart came down the slope of the road, and the driver tipped his hat and greeted Mr. Oke. But Oke didn't acknowledge him; he didn't seem to notice the guy at all.

The clouds were collecting all round; black domes, among which coursed the round grey masses of fleecy stuff.

The clouds were gathering all around; dark domes, with rounded gray puffs of fluffy material flowing in between.

"I think we shall be caught in a tremendous storm," I said; "hadn't we better be turning?" He nodded, and turned sharp round.

"I think we’re going to get caught in a huge storm," I said; "shouldn’t we turn back?" He nodded and quickly turned around.

The sunlight lay in yellow patches under the oaks of the pasture-lands, and burnished the green hedges. The air was heavy and yet cold, and everything seemed preparing for a great storm. The rooks whirled in black clouds round the trees and the conical red caps of the oast-houses which give that country the look of being studded with turreted castles; then they descended—a black line—upon the fields, with what seemed an unearthly loudness of caw. And all round there arose a shrill quavering bleating of lambs and calling of sheep, while the wind began to catch the topmost branches of the trees.

The sunlight lay in yellow patches under the oaks in the pastures, shining on the green hedges. The air felt heavy yet cold, and everything seemed to be getting ready for a big storm. The rooks swirled in black clouds around the trees and the pointed red roofs of the oast-houses, giving the area the appearance of being dotted with turreted castles; then they descended—a black line—onto the fields, with a noise that seemed almost otherworldly in its loudness. All around, there was a sharp, unsteady bleating of lambs and calling of sheep, while the wind started to catch the highest branches of the trees.

Suddenly Mr. Oke broke the silence.

Suddenly, Mr. Oke ended the silence.

"I don't know you very well," he began hurriedly, and without turning his face towards me; "but I think you are honest, and you have seen a good deal of the world—much more than I. I want you to tell me—but truly, please—what do you think a man should do if"—and he stopped for some minutes.

"I don’t know you that well," he started quickly, without looking at me; "but I believe you’re honest, and you’ve experienced a lot of the world—way more than I have. I want you to tell me—but honestly, please—what do you think a man should do if"—and he paused for a few minutes.

"Imagine," he went on quickly, "that a man cares a great deal—a very great deal for his wife, and that he finds out that she—well, that—that she is deceiving him. No—don't misunderstand me; I mean—that she is constantly surrounded by some one else and will not admit it—some one whom she hides away. Do you understand? Perhaps she does not know all the risk she is running, you know, but she will not draw back—she will not avow it to her husband"—

"Imagine," he continued quickly, "that a man really cares—a lot—for his wife, and then he discovers that she—well, that—she’s cheating on him. No—don't get me wrong; I mean—that she’s always with someone else and won’t admit it—someone she keeps hidden away. Do you get it? Maybe she doesn't realize all the trouble she's getting into, but she won't stop—she won't confess it to her husband."

"My dear Oke," I interrupted, attempting to take the matter lightly, "these are questions that can't be solved in the abstract, or by people to whom the thing has not happened. And it certainly has not happened to you or me."

"My dear Oke," I interrupted, trying to keep things light, "these are questions that can't be figured out in theory or by people who haven't experienced it. And it definitely hasn't happened to you or me."

Oke took no notice of my interruption. "You see," he went on, "the man doesn't expect his wife to care much about him. It's not that; he isn't merely jealous, you know. But he feels that she is on the brink of dishonouring herself—because I don't think a woman can really dishonour her husband; dishonour is in our own hands, and depends only on our own acts. He ought to save her, do you see? He must, must save her, in one way or another. But if she will not listen to him, what can he do? Must he seek out the other one, and try and get him out of the way? You see it's all the fault of the other—not hers, not hers. If only she would trust in her husband, she would be safe. But that other one won't let her."

Oke ignored my interruption. "You see," he continued, "the man doesn't think his wife cares much about him. It's not just jealousy, you know. But he feels she’s close to putting herself in a bad situation—because I don’t believe a woman can truly dishonor her husband; dishonor is in our own hands and depends solely on our own actions. He should save her, you see? He must, he must save her, in one way or another. But if she won’t listen to him, what can he do? Should he go after the other guy and try to get him out of the picture? You see, it’s all the other guy's fault—not hers, not hers. If only she would trust her husband, she would be safe. But that other guy won’t let her."

"Look here, Oke," I said boldly, but feeling rather frightened; "I know quite well what you are talking about. And I see you don't understand the matter in the very least. I do. I have watched you and watched Mrs. Oke these six weeks, and I see what is the matter. Will you listen to me?"

"Look, Oke," I said confidently, though I was a bit scared; "I know exactly what you’re talking about. And I can see that you don't understand this at all. I do. I've been watching you and Mrs. Oke for the past six weeks, and I know what's going on. Will you hear me out?"

And taking his arm, I tried to explain to him my view of the situation—that his wife was merely eccentric, and a little theatrical and imaginative, and that she took a pleasure in teasing him. That he, on the other hand, was letting himself get into a morbid state; that he was ill, and ought to see a good doctor. I even offered to take him to town with me.

And taking his arm, I tried to explain my perspective on the situation—that his wife was just a bit eccentric, a little dramatic and imaginative, and that she enjoyed teasing him. Meanwhile, he was letting himself sink into a negative mindset; he was unwell and should see a good doctor. I even offered to take him to town with me.

I poured out volumes of psychological explanations. I dissected Mrs. Oke's character twenty times over, and tried to show him that there was absolutely nothing at the bottom of his suspicions beyond an imaginative pose and a garden-play on the brain. I adduced twenty instances, mostly invented for the nonce, of ladies of my acquaintance who had suffered from similar fads. I pointed out to him that his wife ought to have an outlet for her imaginative and theatrical over-energy. I advised him to take her to London and plunge her into some set where every one should be more or less in a similar condition. I laughed at the notion of there being any hidden individual about the house. I explained to Oke that he was suffering from delusions, and called upon so conscientious and religious a man to take every step to rid himself of them, adding innumerable examples of people who had cured themselves of seeing visions and of brooding over morbid fancies. I struggled and wrestled, like Jacob with the angel, and I really hoped I had made some impression. At first, indeed, I felt that not one of my words went into the man's brain—that, though silent, he was not listening. It seemed almost hopeless to present my views in such a light that he could grasp them. I felt as if I were expounding and arguing at a rock. But when I got on to the tack of his duty towards his wife and himself, and appealed to his moral and religious notions, I felt that I was making an impression.

I shared a lot of psychological insights. I broke down Mrs. Oke's character multiple times, trying to show him that there was really nothing behind his suspicions except some imaginative thinking and a mental distraction. I came up with several examples, most of them made up for the occasion, of women I knew who had dealt with similar quirks. I pointed out that his wife needed an outlet for her creative and dramatic energy. I suggested he take her to London and immerse her in a social circle where everyone was somewhat in the same boat. I mocked the idea that there was anyone secretly lurking in the house. I explained to Oke that he was dealing with delusions and urged such a conscientious and religious man to take steps to free himself from them, adding countless examples of people who had overcome their visions and unhealthy thoughts. I struggled and fought for my point, like Jacob wrestling with the angel, and I genuinely hoped I had made some impact. At first, I felt like none of my words were getting through to him—that even though he was quiet, he wasn’t paying attention. It seemed almost pointless to present my thoughts in a way he could understand. I felt like I was arguing with a rock. But when I shifted the focus to his responsibilities towards his wife and himself, and appealed to his moral and religious beliefs, I sensed I was starting to get through to him.

"I daresay you are right," he said, taking my hand as we came in sight of the red gables of Okehurst, and speaking in a weak, tired, humble voice. "I don't understand you quite, but I am sure what you say is true. I daresay it is all that I'm seedy. I feel sometimes as if I were mad, and just fit to be locked up. But don't think I don't struggle against it. I do, I do continually, only sometimes it seems too strong for me. I pray God night and morning to give me the strength to overcome my suspicions, or to remove these dreadful thoughts from me. God knows, I know what a wretched creature I am, and how unfit to take care of that poor girl."

"I guess you’re right," he said, taking my hand as we caught sight of the red gables of Okehurst, speaking in a weak, tired, humble voice. "I don’t fully understand you, but I’m sure what you’re saying is true. I suppose it’s just that I’m feeling down. Sometimes it feels like I’m losing my mind, like I should be locked away. But don’t think I don’t fight against it. I do, I really do, all the time; it’s just that sometimes it feels too powerful for me. I pray to God, morning and night, for the strength to overcome my doubts, or to take away these horrible thoughts. God knows I realize what a miserable person I am and how unfit I am to take care of that poor girl."

And Oke again pressed my hand. As we entered the garden, he turned to me once more.

And Oke squeezed my hand again. As we walked into the garden, he turned to me once more.

"I am very, very grateful to you," he said, "and, indeed, I will do my best to try and be stronger. If only," he added, with a sigh, "if only Alice would give me a moment's breathing-time, and not go on day after day mocking me with her Lovelock."

"I’m really grateful to you," he said, "and I’ll definitely do my best to be stronger. If only," he added with a sigh, "if only Alice would just give me a little breathing room and stop mocking me with her Lovelock every single day."

10

10

I had begun Mrs. Oke's portrait, and she was giving me a sitting. She was unusually quiet that morning; but, it seemed to me, with the quietness of a woman who is expecting something, and she gave me the impression of being extremely happy. She had been reading, at my suggestion, the "Vita Nuova," which she did not know before, and the conversation came to roll upon that, and upon the question whether love so abstract and so enduring was a possibility. Such a discussion, which might have savoured of flirtation in the case of almost any other young and beautiful woman, became in the case of Mrs. Oke something quite different; it seemed distant, intangible, not of this earth, like her smile and the look in her eyes.

I had started on Mrs. Oke's portrait, and she was posing for me. That morning, she was unusually quiet; however, it felt like the quietness of a woman who is anticipating something, and she gave me the impression that she was extremely happy. At my suggestion, she had been reading the "Vita Nuova," which she hadn't known before, and our conversation shifted to that, discussing whether such an abstract and enduring kind of love was even possible. This discussion, which might have seemed flirty with almost any other young and beautiful woman, took on a completely different tone with Mrs. Oke; it felt distant, intangible, almost otherworldly, much like her smile and the look in her eyes.

"Such love as that," she said, looking into the far distance of the oak-dotted park-land, "is very rare, but it can exist. It becomes a person's whole existence, his whole soul; and it can survive the death, not merely of the beloved, but of the lover. It is unextinguishable, and goes on in the spiritual world until it meet a reincarnation of the beloved; and when this happens, it jets out and draws to it all that may remain of that lover's soul, and takes shape and surrounds the beloved one once more."

"That kind of love," she said, gazing into the distant oak-filled park, "is very rare, but it can exist. It becomes a person’s entire existence, their whole soul; and it can survive the death of not just the beloved, but also the lover. It’s indestructible, continuing on in the spiritual realm until it encounters a reincarnation of the beloved; and when that happens, it reaches out and connects with whatever remains of that lover's soul, taking shape and enveloping the beloved once again."

Mrs. Oke was speaking slowly, almost to herself, and I had never, I think, seen her look so strange and so beautiful, the stiff white dress bringing out but the more the exotic exquisiteness and incorporealness of her person.

Mrs. Oke was speaking softly, almost to herself, and I had never, I think, seen her look so strange and so beautiful; the stiff white dress only highlighted the exotic elegance and ethereal quality of her figure.

I did not know what to answer, so I said half in jest—

I wasn't sure how to respond, so I said it kind of jokingly—

"I fear you have been reading too much Buddhist literature, Mrs. Oke. There is something dreadfully esoteric in all you say."

"I’m afraid you’ve been reading too much Buddhist literature, Mrs. Oke. There’s something really obscure in everything you say."

She smiled contemptuously.

She smirked.

"I know people can't understand such matters," she replied, and was silent for some time. But, through her quietness and silence, I felt, as it were, the throb of a strange excitement in this woman, almost as if I had been holding her pulse.

"I know people can't understand these things," she said, and then fell silent for a while. But, through her quietness, I could sense a strange excitement in her, almost like I was feeling her pulse.

Still, I was in hopes that things might be beginning to go better in consequence of my interference. Mrs. Oke had scarcely once alluded to Lovelock in the last two or three days; and Oke had been much more cheerful and natural since our conversation. He no longer seemed so worried; and once or twice I had caught in him a look of great gentleness and loving-kindness, almost of pity, as towards some young and very frail thing, as he sat opposite his wife.

Still, I hoped that things might be getting better because of my involvement. Mrs. Oke had barely mentioned Lovelock in the last few days, and Oke had seemed much more cheerful and natural since our talk. He no longer looked so worried; and a couple of times, I noticed a look of great gentleness and kindness in him, almost of pity, as he sat across from his wife, as if she were some young and very delicate thing.

But the end had come. After that sitting Mrs. Oke had complained of fatigue and retired to her room, and Oke had driven off on some business to the nearest town. I felt all alone in the big house, and after having worked a little at a sketch I was making in the park, I amused myself rambling about the house.

But the end had come. After that meeting, Mrs. Oke had mentioned feeling tired and went to her room, and Oke had taken off for some errands in the nearest town. I felt completely alone in the big house, and after working a bit on a sketch I was doing in the park, I entertained myself by wandering around the house.

It was a warm, enervating, autumn afternoon: the kind of weather that brings the perfume out of everything, the damp ground and fallen leaves, the flowers in the jars, the old woodwork and stuffs; that seems to bring on to the surface of one's consciousness all manner of vague recollections and expectations, a something half pleasurable, half painful, that makes it impossible to do or to think. I was the prey of this particular, not at all unpleasurable, restlessness. I wandered up and down the corridors, stopping to look at the pictures, which I knew already in every detail, to follow the pattern of the carvings and old stuffs, to stare at the autumn flowers, arranged in magnificent masses of colour in the big china bowls and jars. I took up one book after another and threw it aside; then I sat down to the piano and began to play irrelevant fragments. I felt quite alone, although I had heard the grind of the wheels on the gravel, which meant that my host had returned. I was lazily turning over a book of verses—I remember it perfectly well, it was Morris's "Love is Enough"—in a corner of the drawing-room, when the door suddenly opened and William Oke showed himself. He did not enter, but beckoned to me to come out to him. There was something in his face that made me start up and follow him at once. He was extremely quiet, even stiff, not a muscle of his face moving, but very pale.

It was a warm, draining autumn afternoon: the kind of weather that brings out the scents of everything—the damp ground and fallen leaves, the flowers in jars, the old woodwork and stuff; it seems to surface all sorts of vague memories and expectations, a feeling that's half enjoyable, half painful, making it impossible to do or think anything. I was caught up in this specific, not at all unpleasant, restlessness. I wandered up and down the hallways, stopping to look at the pictures I already knew by heart, tracing the patterns of the carvings and old furniture, and staring at the autumn flowers arranged in stunning displays of color in the large china bowls and jars. I picked up one book after another only to toss them aside; then I sat down at the piano and started playing random bits. I felt quite alone, even though I could hear the crunch of the gravel, indicating that my host had come back. I was lazily flipping through a book of poems—I remember it clearly; it was Morris's "Love is Enough"—in a corner of the drawing-room when the door suddenly opened and William Oke stepped in. He didn’t come in fully but signaled for me to come out to him. There was something in his expression that made me jump up and follow him right away. He seemed extremely quiet, almost rigid, not a muscle in his face moving, but he was very pale.

"I have something to show you," he said, leading me through the vaulted hall, hung round with ancestral pictures, into the gravelled space that looked like a filled-up moat, where stood the big blasted oak, with its twisted, pointing branches. I followed him on to the lawn, or rather the piece of park-land that ran up to the house. We walked quickly, he in front, without exchanging a word. Suddenly he stopped, just where there jutted out the bow-window of the yellow drawing-room, and I felt Oke's hand tight upon my arm.

"I have something to show you," he said, guiding me through the grand hall, lined with family portraits, into the gravel area that looked like an old moat, where the large, damaged oak stood with its gnarled, reaching branches. I followed him onto the lawn, or rather the park area that extended toward the house. We walked quickly, him leading the way, without saying a word. Suddenly, he stopped right where the bow window of the yellow drawing-room jutted out, and I felt Oke's hand grip my arm tightly.

"I have brought you here to see something," he whispered hoarsely; and he led me to the window.

"I brought you here to see something," he whispered quietly, and he guided me to the window.

I looked in. The room, compared with the out door, was rather dark; but against the yellow wall I saw Mrs. Oke sitting alone on a couch in her white dress, her head slightly thrown back, a large red rose in her hand.

I looked in. The room, compared to the outdoors, was pretty dark; but against the yellow wall, I saw Mrs. Oke sitting alone on a couch in her white dress, her head slightly tilted back, a large red rose in her hand.

"Do you believe now?" whispered Oke's voice hot at my ear. "Do you believe now? Was it all my fancy? But I will have him this time. I have locked the door inside, and, by God! he shan't escape."

"Do you believe now?" Oke whispered, his breath warm against my ear. "Do you believe now? Was it all just my imagination? But this time, I will have him. I've locked the door from the inside, and, I swear, he won't escape."

The words were not out of Oke's mouth. I felt myself struggling with him silently outside that window. But he broke loose, pulled open the window, and leapt into the room, and I after him. As I crossed the threshold, something flashed in my eyes; there was a loud report, a sharp cry, and the thud of a body on the ground.

The words hadn’t left Oke’s mouth yet. I felt myself silently wrestling with him outside that window. But he broke free, flung open the window, and jumped into the room, and I followed him. As I stepped over the threshold, something flashed in my eyes; there was a loud bang, a sharp scream, and the sound of a body hitting the ground.

Oke was standing in the middle of the room, with a faint smoke about him; and at his feet, sunk down from the sofa, with her blond head resting on its seat, lay Mrs. Oke, a pool of red forming in her white dress. Her mouth was convulsed, as if in that automatic shriek, but her wide-open white eyes seemed to smile vaguely and distantly.

Oke was standing in the middle of the room, with a faint smoke surrounding him; and at his feet, slumped down from the sofa, with her blond head resting on its seat, lay Mrs. Oke, a pool of red spreading on her white dress. Her mouth was twisted, as if caught in an automatic scream, but her wide-open white eyes looked like they were smiling vaguely and far away.

I know nothing of time. It all seemed to be one second, but a second that lasted hours. Oke stared, then turned round and laughed.

I know nothing about time. It all felt like one second, but a second that lasted for hours. Oke stared, then turned around and laughed.

"The damned rascal has given me the slip again!" he cried; and quickly unlocking the door, rushed out of the house with dreadful cries.

"The damn rascal has gotten away from me again!" he yelled, and quickly unlocking the door, rushed out of the house with terrifying shouts.

That is the end of the story. Oke tried to shoot himself that evening, but merely fractured his jaw, and died a few days later, raving. There were all sorts of legal inquiries, through which I went as through a dream; and whence it resulted that Mr. Oke had killed his wife in a fit of momentary madness. That was the end of Alice Oke. By the way, her maid brought me a locket which was found round her neck, all stained with blood. It contained some very dark auburn hair, not at all the colour of William Oke's. I am quite sure it was Lovelock's.

That’s the end of the story. Oke tried to kill himself that evening but only ended up fracturing his jaw and died a few days later, raving. There were all kinds of legal investigations, which I went through as if in a dream; it turned out that Mr. Oke had killed his wife in a moment of temporary insanity. That was the end of Alice Oke. By the way, her maid gave me a locket found around her neck, all stained with blood. It held some very dark auburn hair, definitely not the color of William Oke's. I'm pretty sure it was Lovelock's.

A Wicked Voice

A Sinister Voice

To M.W., IN REMEMBRANCE OF THE LAST SONG AT PALAZZO BARBARO, Chi ha inteso, intenda.

To M.W., IN REMEMBRANCE OF THE LAST SONG AT PALAZZO BARBARO, Whoever has understood, understand.

They have been congratulating me again today upon being the only composer of our days—of these days of deafening orchestral effects and poetical quackery—who has despised the new-fangled nonsense of Wagner, and returned boldly to the traditions of Handel and Gluck and the divine Mozart, to the supremacy of melody and the respect of the human voice.

They have been congratulating me again today for being the only composer of our time—during these days of overwhelming orchestral effects and poetic nonsense—who has rejected the modern fad of Wagner and confidently returned to the traditions of Handel, Gluck, and the genius Mozart, prioritizing melody and respecting the human voice.

O cursed human voice, violin of flesh and blood, fashioned with the subtle tools, the cunning hands, of Satan! O execrable art of singing, have you not wrought mischief enough in the past, degrading so much noble genius, corrupting the purity of Mozart, reducing Handel to a writer of high-class singing-exercises, and defrauding the world of the only inspiration worthy of Sophocles and Euripides, the poetry of the great poet Gluck? Is it not enough to have dishonored a whole century in idolatry of that wicked and contemptible wretch the singer, without persecuting an obscure young composer of our days, whose only wealth is his love of nobility in art, and perhaps some few grains of genius?

O cursed human voice, violin of flesh and blood, created with the clever tools and skillful hands of Satan! O despicable art of singing, haven’t you caused enough harm in the past, degrading so much noble talent, corrupting the purity of Mozart, turning Handel into just a writer of high-class singing exercises, and robbing the world of the only inspiration worthy of Sophocles and Euripides, the poetry of the great poet Gluck? Is it not enough to have dishonored an entire century in worship of that wicked and contemptible singer, without also targeting an obscure young composer of our time, whose only treasures are his love for nobility in art and perhaps a bit of genius?

And then they compliment me upon the perfection with which I imitate the style of the great dead masters; or ask me very seriously whether, even if I could gain over the modern public to this bygone style of music, I could hope to find singers to perform it. Sometimes, when people talk as they have been talking today, and laugh when I declare myself a follower of Wagner, I burst into a paroxysm of unintelligible, childish rage, and exclaim, "We shall see that some day!"

And then they praise me for how perfectly I mimic the style of the great masters from the past; or they ask me very seriously whether, even if I could win over today's audience to this old style of music, I could find singers to perform it. Sometimes, when people talk the way they have been talking today, and laugh when I say I’m a follower of Wagner, I burst into a fit of childish rage and shout, "We’ll see about that someday!"

Yes; some day we shall see! For, after all, may I not recover from this strangest of maladies? It is still possible that the day may come when all these things shall seem but an incredible nightmare; the day when Ogier the Dane shall be completed, and men shall know whether I am a follower of the great master of the Future or the miserable singing-masters of the Past. I am but half-bewitched, since I am conscious of the spell that binds me. My old nurse, far off in Norway, used to tell me that were-wolves are ordinary men and women half their days, and that if, during that period, they become aware of their horrid transformation they may find the means to forestall it. May this not be the case with me? My reason, after all, is free, although my artistic inspiration be enslaved; and I can despise and loathe the music I am forced to compose, and the execrable power that forces me.

Yes; someday we’ll see! After all, can I not recover from this strangest of conditions? It’s still possible that the day may come when all these things will feel like an unbelievable nightmare; the day when Ogier the Dane will be finished, and people will know whether I’m a follower of the great master of the Future or just another miserable singing-master from the Past. I’m only half-bewitched since I’m aware of the spell that holds me. My old nurse, far away in Norway, used to say that werewolves are just ordinary men and women for part of the day, and if they realize their horrifying transformation during that time, they might find a way to prevent it. Could this not be true for me? My mind is still free, even though my artistic inspiration is trapped; I can hate and detest the music I’m forced to create, and the terrible power that forces me.

Nay, is it not because I have studied with the doggedness of hatred this corrupt and corrupting music of the Past, seeking for every little peculiarity of style and every biographical trifle merely to display its vileness, is it not for this presumptuous courage that I have been overtaken by such mysterious, incredible vengeance?

No, is it not because I have studied with relentless hatred this corrupt and corrupting music of the Past, looking for every little style quirk and every biographical detail just to show its ugliness, is it not for this audacious courage that I have been struck by such mysterious, unbelievable retribution?

And meanwhile, my only relief consists in going over and over again in my mind the tale of my miseries. This time I will write it, writing only to tear up, to throw the manuscript unread into the fire. And yet, who knows? As the last charred pages shall crackle and slowly sink into the red embers, perhaps the spell may be broken, and I may possess once more my long-lost liberty, my vanished genius.

And in the meantime, my only escape is reliving my struggles over and over in my mind. This time, I’ll write it all down, only to rip it up and toss the manuscript into the fire without even reading it. But who knows? As the last burned pages crackle and slowly fall into the glowing ashes, maybe the curse will be lifted, and I can regain my long-lost freedom, my faded talent.

It was a breathless evening under the full moon, that implacable full moon beneath which, even more than beneath the dreamy splendor of noon-tide, Venice seemed to swelter in the midst of the waters, exhaling, like some great lily, mysterious influences, which make the brain swim and the heart faint—a moral malaria, distilled, as I thought, from those languishing melodies, those cooing vocalizations which I had found in the musty music-books of a century ago. I see that moonlight evening as if it were present. I see my fellow-lodgers of that little artists' boarding-house. The table on which they lean after supper is strewn with bits of bread, with napkins rolled in tapestry rollers, spots of wine here and there, and at regular intervals chipped pepper-pots, stands of toothpicks, and heaps of those huge hard peaches which nature imitates from the marble-shops of Pisa. The whole pension-full is assembled, and examining stupidly the engraving which the American etcher has just brought for me, knowing me to be mad about eighteenth century music and musicians, and having noticed, as he turned over the heaps of penny prints in the square of San Polo, that the portrait is that of a singer of those days.

It was a breathtaking evening under the full moon, that relentless full moon under which, even more so than under the dreamy splendor of midday, Venice seemed to simmer in the waters, giving off, like a great lily, mysterious vibes that made the mind dizzy and the heart faint—a moral malaise, as I thought, drawn from those languid melodies and soft vocalizations I had found in the dusty music books from a century ago. I see that moonlit evening as if it's happening right now. I see my fellow guests at that little artists' boarding house. The table they lean on after dinner is scattered with bits of bread, napkins rolled in tapestry, spots of wine here and there, and at regular intervals, chipped pepper shakers, toothpick holders, and piles of those large, hard peaches that nature copies from the marble shops of Pisa. The entire pension is gathered, stupidly examining the engraving that the American etcher just brought for me, knowing I’m crazy about eighteenth-century music and musicians, and having noticed, as he sifted through the piles of cheap prints in the San Polo square, that the portrait is of a singer from that time.

Singer, thing of evil, stupid and wicked slave of the voice, of that instrument which was not invented by the human intellect, but begotten of the body, and which, instead of moving the soul, merely stirs up the dregs of our nature! For what is the voice but the Beast calling, awakening that other Beast sleeping in the depths of mankind, the Beast which all great art has ever sought to chain up, as the archangel chains up, in old pictures, the demon with his woman's face? How could the creature attached to this voice, its owner and its victim, the singer, the great, the real singer who once ruled over every heart, be otherwise than wicked and contemptible? But let me try and get on with my story.

Singer, you are an evil thing, a foolish and wicked slave to the voice, that instrument born not from human thought but from the body, which instead of uplifting the soul, just stirs up our basest instincts! What is the voice but the Beast calling, awakening that other Beast lying dormant within humanity, the Beast that all great art has tried to restrain, just as the archangel restrains the demon with a woman's face in old paintings? How could the creature bound to this voice, its possessor and its victim, the singer, the great, the true singer who once captivated every heart, be anything other than wicked and despicable? But let me get back to my story.

I can see all my fellow-boarders, leaning on the table, contemplating the print, this effeminate beau, his hair curled into ailes de pigeon, his sword passed through his embroidered pocket, seated under a triumphal arch somewhere among the clouds, surrounded by puffy Cupids and crowned with laurels by a bouncing goddess of fame. I hear again all the insipid exclamations, the insipid questions about this singer:—"When did he live? Was he very famous? Are you sure, Magnus, that this is really a portrait," &c. &c. And I hear my own voice, as if in the far distance, giving them all sorts of information, biographical and critical, out of a battered little volume called The Theatre of Musical Glory; or, Opinions upon the most Famous Chapel-masters and Virtuosi of this Century, by Father Prosdocimo Sabatelli, Barnalite, Professor of Eloquence at the College of Modena, and Member of the Arcadian Academy, under the pastoral name of Evander Lilybaean, Venice, 1785, with the approbation of the Superiors. I tell them all how this singer, this Balthasar Cesari, was nick-named Zaffirino because of a sapphire engraved with cabalistic signs presented to him one evening by a masked stranger, in whom wise folk recognized that great cultivator of the human voice, the devil; how much more wonderful had been this Zaffirino's vocal gifts than those of any singer of ancient or modern times; how his brief life had been but a series of triumphs, petted by the greatest kings, sung by the most famous poets, and finally, adds Father Prosdocimo, "courted (if the grave Muse of history may incline her ear to the gossip of gallantry) by the most charming nymphs, even of the very highest quality."

I can see all my fellow boarders leaning on the table, staring at the picture of this stylish guy, his hair curled into ailes de pigeon, his sword tucked into his fancy pocket, sitting under a triumphal arch somewhere in the clouds, surrounded by fluffy Cupids and crowned with laurels by a lively goddess of fame. I hear the same old boring exclamations and pointless questions about this singer: "When did he live? Was he really famous? Are you sure, Magnus, that this is actually a portrait?" And I hear my own voice, as if from far away, giving them all sorts of information, both biographical and critical, from a worn-out little book called The Theatre of Musical Glory; or, Opinions upon the most Famous Chapel-masters and Virtuosi of this Century, by Father Prosdocimo Sabatelli, a Barnalite, Professor of Eloquence at the College of Modena, and Member of the Arcadian Academy, using the pastoral name Evander Lilybaean, Venice, 1785, with the approval of the Superiors. I tell them how this singer, Balthasar Cesari, was nicknamed Zaffirino because of a sapphire engraved with mystical signs that a masked stranger handed to him one evening, who wise people recognized as the great master of the human voice, the devil; how much more incredible Zaffirino's vocal talents were compared to any singer from ancient or modern times; how his short life was just a series of victories, adored by the greatest kings, celebrated by the most famous poets, and finally, adds Father Prosdocimo, "courted (if the serious Muse of history might lend her ear to tales of romance) by the most enchanting nymphs, even of the highest rank."

My friends glance once more at the engraving; more insipid remarks are made; I am requested—especially by the American young ladies—to play or sing one of this Zaffirino's favorite songs—"For of course you know them, dear Maestro Magnus, you who have such a passion for all old music. Do be good, and sit down to the piano." I refuse, rudely enough, rolling the print in my fingers. How fearfully this cursed heat, these cursed moonlight nights, must have unstrung me! This Venice would certainly kill me in the long-run! Why, the sight of this idiotic engraving, the mere name of that coxcomb of a singer, have made my heart beat and my limbs turn to water like a love-sick hobbledehoy.

My friends take another look at the print; more boring comments are made; I’m asked—especially by the American girls—to play or sing one of Zaffirino's favorite songs—"Of course you know them, dear Maestro Magnus, since you love all old music so much. Please, just sit down at the piano." I refuse, rather rudely, rolling the print in my fingers. This damn heat, these damn moonlit nights, must have really messed with my head! This Venice will definitely be the end of me! Just seeing this stupid engraving and the name of that pompous singer makes my heart race and my legs feel like jelly, like a love-struck teenager.

After my gruff refusal, the company begins to disperse; they prepare to go out, some to have a row on the lagoon, others to saunter before the cafés at St. Mark's; family discussions arise, gruntings of fathers, murmurs of mothers, peals of laughing from young girls and young men. And the moon, pouring in by the wide-open windows, turns this old palace ballroom, nowadays an inn dining-room, into a lagoon, scintillating, undulating like the other lagoon, the real one, which stretches out yonder furrowed by invisible gondolas betrayed by the red prow-lights. At last the whole lot of them are on the move. I shall be able to get some quiet in my room, and to work a little at my opera of Ogier the Dane. But no! Conversation revives, and, of all things, about that singer, that Zaffirino, whose absurd portrait I am crunching in my fingers.

After my gruff refusal, the group starts to break up; they get ready to head out, some for a row on the lagoon, others to stroll in front of the cafés at St. Mark's. Family discussions break out, with fathers grunting, mothers murmuring, and young girls and guys bursting into laughter. The moon, streaming through the wide-open windows, transforms this old palace ballroom, now a dining room of an inn, into a lagoon, sparkling and moving like the real lagoon over there, marked by invisible gondolas revealed by the red prow lights. Finally, they all start to leave. I should be able to find some peace in my room and work a bit on my opera Ogier the Dane. But no! The conversation picks up again, and, of all things, it's about that singer, Zaffirino, whose ridiculous portrait I'm crumpling in my fingers.

The principal speaker is Count Alvise, an old Venetian with dyed whiskers, a great check tie fastened with two pins and a chain; a threadbare patrician who is dying to secure for his lanky son that pretty American girl, whose mother is intoxicated by all his mooning anecdotes about the past glories of Venice in general, and of his illustrious family in particular. Why, in Heaven's name, must he pitch upon Zaffirino for his mooning, this old duffer of a patrician?

The main speaker is Count Alvise, an old Venetian with dyed facial hair, a large checkered tie held with two pins and a chain; a worn-out aristocrat who is eager to set up his skinny son with that attractive American girl, whose mother is mesmerized by all his nostalgic stories about the past glories of Venice in general, and his prestigious family in particular. Why on earth does he have to choose Zaffirino for his daydreaming, this old fool of a nobleman?

"Zaffirino,—ah yes, to be sure! Balthasar Cesari, called Zaffirino," snuffles the voice of Count Alvise, who always repeats the last word of every sentence at least three times. "Yes, Zaffirino, to be sure! A famous singer of the days of my forefathers; yes, of my forefathers, dear lady!" Then a lot of rubbish about the former greatness of Venice, the glories of old music, the former Conservatoires, all mixed up with anecdotes of Rossini and Donizetti, whom he pretends to have known intimately. Finally, a story, of course containing plenty about his illustrious family:—"My great grand-aunt, the Procuratessa Vendramin, from whom we have inherited our estate of Mistrà, on the Brenta"—a hopelessly muddled story, apparently, fully of digressions, but of which that singer Zaffirino is the hero. The narrative, little by little, becomes more intelligible, or perhaps it is I who am giving it more attention.

"Zaffirino—oh, absolutely! Balthasar Cesari, known as Zaffirino," sniffs the voice of Count Alvise, who always repeats the last word of every sentence at least three times. "Yes, Zaffirino, absolutely! A famous singer from the times of my ancestors; yes, my ancestors, dear lady!" Then he rambles on about the past glory of Venice, the magnificence of old music, the previous Conservatoires, all mixed with anecdotes about Rossini and Donizetti, whom he claims to have known well. Finally, there's a story, of course filled with talk of his illustrious family:—"My great grand-aunt, the Procuratessa Vendramin, from whom we inherited our estate in Mistrà, on the Brenta"—a hopelessly tangled story, it seems, full of digressions, but with that singer Zaffirino as the main character. The narrative, little by little, becomes clearer, or maybe it's just that I'm paying more attention.

"It seems," says the Count, "that there was one of his songs in particular which was called the 'Husbands' Air'—L'Aria dei Marit—because they didn't enjoy it quite as much as their better-halves…. My grand-aunt, Pisana Renier, married to the Procuratore Vendramin, was a patrician of the old school, of the style that was getting rare a hundred years ago. Her virtue and her pride rendered her unapproachable. Zaffirino, on his part, was in the habit of boasting that no woman had ever been able to resist his singing, which, it appears, had its foundation in fact—the ideal changes, my dear lady, the ideal changes a good deal from one century to another!—and that his first song could make any woman turn pale and lower her eyes, the second make her madly in love, while the third song could kill her off on the spot, kill her for love, there under his very eyes, if he only felt inclined. My grandaunt Vendramin laughed when this story was told her, refused to go to hear this insolent dog, and added that it might be quite possible by the aid of spells and infernal pacts to kill a gentildonna, but as to making her fall in love with a lackey—never! This answer was naturally reported to Zaffirino, who piqued himself upon always getting the better of any one who was wanting in deference to his voice. Like the ancient Romans, parcere subjectis et debellare superbos. You American ladies, who are so learned, will appreciate this little quotation from the divine Virgil. While seeming to avoid the Procuratessa Vendramin, Zaffirino took the opportunity, one evening at a large assembly, to sing in her presence. He sang and sang and sang until the poor grand-aunt Pisana fell ill for love. The most skilful physicians were kept unable to explain the mysterious malady which was visibly killing the poor young lady; and the Procuratore Vendramin applied in vain to the most venerated Madonnas, and vainly promised an altar of silver, with massive gold candlesticks, to Saints Cosmas and Damian, patrons of the art of healing. At last the brother-in-law of the Procuratessa, Monsignor Almorò Vendramin, Patriarch of Aquileia, a prelate famous for the sanctity of his life, obtained in a vision of Saint Justina, for whom he entertained a particular devotion, the information that the only thing which could benefit the strange illness of his sister-in-law was the voice of Zaffirino. Take notice that my poor grand-aunt had never condescended to such a revelation.

"It seems," says the Count, "that there was one song of his in particular called the 'Husbands' Air'—L'Aria dei Marit—because the husbands didn't enjoy it as much as their wives…. My great-aunt, Pisana Renier, who was married to Procuratore Vendramin, was a patrician from the old school, a rarity a hundred years ago. Her virtue and pride made her untouchable. Zaffirino, for his part, liked to brag that no woman could resist his singing, which, it seems, was partly true—the ideal really does change, my dear lady, it changes quite a bit from one century to another!—and that his first song could make any woman turn pale and look away, the second would make her fall madly in love, while the third could actually kill her right there, die of love right under his nose if he felt like it. My grandaunt Vendramin laughed when she heard this story, refused to go listen to this cocky guy, and said it might be possible to kill a gentildonna with spells and devilish pacts, but as for making her fall in love with a servant—never! This response was, of course, reported back to Zaffirino, who prided himself on always getting the better of anyone who disrespected his voice. Like the ancient Romans, parcere subjectis et debellare superbos. You American ladies, so well-read, will appreciate this little quote from the great Virgil. While seemingly avoiding Procuratessa Vendramin, Zaffirino took the chance, one evening at a big gathering, to sing in her presence. He sang and sang until poor great-aunt Pisana fell sick with love. The most skilled doctors couldn’t explain the mysterious illness that was visibly killing her; and Procuratore Vendramin in vain appealed to the most revered Madonnas, promising a silver altar with massive gold candlesticks to Saints Cosmas and Damian, the patrons of healing. Finally, the brother-in-law of the Procuratessa, Monsignor Almorò Vendramin, Patriarch of Aquileia, a prelate known for his holy life, received in a vision of Saint Justina, to whom he was particularly devoted, the information that the only thing that could cure his sister-in-law’s strange illness was Zaffirino's voice. Keep in mind that my poor great-aunt had never lowered herself to accept such a revelation."

"The Procuratore was enchanted at this happy solution; and his lordship the Patriarch went to seek Zaffirino in person, and carried him in his own coach to the Villa of Mistrà, where the Procuratessa was residing.

"The Procuratore was thrilled with this happy solution; and his lordship the Patriarch went to find Zaffirino himself and took him in his own coach to the Villa of Mistrà, where the Procuratessa was staying."

"On being told what was about to happen, my poor grand-aunt went into fits of rage, which were succeeded immediately by equally violent fits of joy. However, she never forgot what was due to her great position. Although sick almost unto death, she had herself arrayed with the greatest pomp, caused her face to be painted, and put on all her diamonds: it would seem as if she were anxious to affirm her full dignity before this singer. Accordingly she received Zaffirino reclining on a sofa which had been placed in the great ballroom of the Villa of Mistrà, and beneath the princely canopy; for the Vendramins, who had intermarried with the house of Mantua, possessed imperial fiefs and were princes of the Holy Roman Empire. Zaffirino saluted her with the most profound respect, but not a word passed between them. Only, the singer inquired from the Procuratore whether the illustrious lady had received the Sacraments of the Church. Being told that the Procuratessa had herself asked to be given extreme unction from the hands of her brother-in-law, he declared his readiness to obey the orders of His Excellency, and sat down at once to the harpsichord.

"After being told what was about to happen, my poor grand-aunt was overcome with rage, which was immediately followed by equally intense joy. However, she never forgot her high status. Even though she was gravely ill, she had herself dressed in the most extravagant way, had her face made up, and wore all her diamonds; it was as if she wanted to assert her full dignity before this singer. So, she received Zaffirino reclining on a sofa that had been placed in the grand ballroom of the Villa of Mistrà, beneath the princely canopy; for the Vendramins, who had married into the house of Mantua, held imperial fiefs and were princes of the Holy Roman Empire. Zaffirino greeted her with the utmost respect, but not a word was exchanged between them. The singer only asked the Procuratore if the distinguished lady had received the Sacraments of the Church. Upon hearing that the Procuratessa had requested extreme unction from her brother-in-law, he stated his readiness to follow the orders of His Excellency and immediately sat down at the harpsichord."

"Never had he sung so divinely. At the end of the first song the Procuratessa Vendramin had already revived most extraordinarily; by the end of the second she appeared entirely cured and beaming with beauty and happiness; but at the third air—the Aria dei Mariti, no doubt—she began to change frightfully; she gave a dreadful cry, and fell into the convulsions of death. In a quarter of an hour she was dead! Zaffirino did not wait to see her die. Having finished his song, he withdrew instantly, took post-horses, and traveled day and night as far as Munich. People remarked that he had presented himself at Mistrà dressed in mourning, although he had mentioned no death among his relatives; also that he had prepared everything for his departure, as if fearing the wrath of so powerful a family. Then there was also the extraordinary question he had asked before beginning to sing, about the Procuratessa having confessed and received extreme unction…. No, thanks, my dear lady, no cigarettes for me. But if it does not distress you or your charming daughter, may I humbly beg permission to smoke a cigar?"

"Never had he sung so beautifully. By the end of the first song, Procuratessa Vendramin had miraculously revived; by the end of the second, she seemed completely healed and glowing with beauty and happiness. But by the third song—the Aria dei Mariti, without a doubt—she started to change horrifyingly; she let out a terrible scream and fell into convulsions. Within fifteen minutes, she was dead! Zaffirino didn’t stick around to see her die. After finishing his song, he left immediately, took post-horses, and traveled day and night all the way to Munich. People noted that he arrived in Mistrà dressed in mourning, even though he hadn’t mentioned any deaths in his family; they also observed that he seemed well-prepared for his departure, as if afraid of the anger of such a powerful family. Then there was the strange question he had asked before starting to sing about whether the Procuratessa had confessed and received last rites…. No, thank you, my dear lady, no cigarettes for me. But if it doesn’t trouble you or your lovely daughter, may I kindly request permission to smoke a cigar?"

And Count Alvise, enchanted with his talent for narrative, and sure of having secured for his son the heart and the dollars of his fair audience, proceeds to light a candle, and at the candle one of those long black Italian cigars which require preliminary disinfection before smoking.

And Count Alvise, captivated by his storytelling skills and confident that he had won over both the heart and the money of his lovely audience, goes ahead to light a candle, and at the candle, he lights one of those long black Italian cigars that need to be disinfected before smoking.

… If this state of things goes on I shall just have to ask the doctor for a bottle; this ridiculous beating of my heart and disgusting cold perspiration have increased steadily during Count Alvise's narrative. To keep myself in countenance among the various idiotic commentaries on this cock-and-bull story of a vocal coxcomb and a vaporing great lady, I begin to unroll the engraving, and to examine stupidly the portrait of Zaffirino, once so renowned, now so forgotten. A ridiculous ass, this singer, under his triumphal arch, with his stuffed Cupids and the great fat winged kitchenmaid crowning him with laurels. How flat and vapid and vulgar it is, to be sure, all this odious eighteenth century!

… If this situation keeps up, I’m just going to have to ask the doctor for something. This ridiculous pounding in my heart and grossly cold sweat have been getting worse during Count Alvise's story. To keep my composure among all the absurd comments about this outlandish tale of a self-absorbed singer and a pretentious noblewoman, I start to unroll the engraving and stupidly examine the portrait of Zaffirino, once so famous and now so forgotten. What a ridiculous fool this singer looks like under his triumphal arch, surrounded by his fake Cupids and that big, plump kitchen maid crowning him with laurels. It all feels so flat, bland, and tacky—this dreadful eighteenth century!

But he, personally, is not so utterly vapid as I had thought. That effeminate, fat face of his is almost beautiful, with an odd smile, brazen and cruel. I have seen faces like this, if not in real life, at least in my boyish romantic dreams, when I read Swinburne and Baudelaire, the faces of wicked, vindictive women. Oh yes! he is decidedly a beautiful creature, this Zaffirino, and his voice must have had the same sort of beauty and the same expression of wickedness….

But he, personally, isn’t as completely shallow as I thought. That soft, round face of his is almost beautiful, with a strange smile that’s bold and a bit cruel. I’ve seen faces like this, if not in real life, at least in my youthful romantic dreams while reading Swinburne and Baudelaire, the faces of wicked, vengeful women. Oh yes! Zaffirino is definitely a beautiful creature, and his voice must have had the same kind of beauty and expression of wickedness….

"Come on, Magnus," sound the voices of my fellow-boarders, "be a good fellow and sing us one of the old chap's songs; or at least something or other of that day, and we'll make believe it was the air with which he killed that poor lady."

"Come on, Magnus," call the voices of my housemates, "be a good sport and sing us one of the old guy's songs; or at least something from back then, and we'll pretend it was the tune that got that poor lady."

"Oh yes! the Aria dei Mariti, the 'Husbands' Air,'" mumbles old Alvise, between the puffs at his impossible black cigar. "My poor grand-aunt, Pisana Vendramin; he went and killed her with those songs of his, with that Aria dei Mariti."

"Oh yes! the Aria dei Mariti, the 'Husbands' Air,'" mumbles old Alvise, between puffs on his unmanageable black cigar. "My poor great-aunt, Pisana Vendramin; he went and killed her with those songs of his, with that Aria dei Mariti."

I feel senseless rage overcoming me. Is it that horrible palpitation (by the way, there is a Norwegian doctor, my fellow-countryman, at Venice just now) which is sending the blood to my brain and making me mad? The people round the piano, the furniture, everything together seems to get mixed and to turn into moving blobs of color. I set to singing; the only thing which remains distinct before my eyes being the portrait of Zaffirino, on the edge of that boarding-house piano; the sensual, effeminate face, with its wicked, cynical smile, keeps appearing and disappearing as the print wavers about in the draught that makes the candles smoke and gutter. And I set to singing madly, singing I don't know what. Yes; I begin to identify it: 'tis the Biondina in Gondoleta, the only song of the eighteenth century which is still remembered by the Venetian people. I sing it, mimicking every old-school grace; shakes, cadences, languishingly swelled and diminished notes, and adding all manner of buffooneries, until the audience, recovering from its surprise, begins to shake with laughing; until I begin to laugh myself, madly, frantically, between the phrases of the melody, my voice finally smothered in this dull, brutal laughter…. And then, to crown it all, I shake my fist at this long-dead singer, looking at me with his wicked woman's face, with his mocking, fatuous smile.

I feel this pointless rage washing over me. Is it that terrible pounding in my chest (by the way, there's a Norwegian doctor, who's also my countryman, in Venice right now) that’s driving the blood to my brain and making me lose it? The people around the piano, the furniture, everything seems to blur together into swirling blobs of color. I start singing; the only thing that stays clear in front of me is the portrait of Zaffirino on the edge of that boarding-house piano; his sensual, effeminate face, with its wicked, cynical smile, keeps appearing and disappearing as the picture wobbles in the draft that makes the candles flicker and drip. And I start singing wildly, not even knowing what I’m singing. Yes, I begin to recognize it: it’s the Biondina in Gondoleta, the only 18th-century song still remembered by the Venetian people. I sing it, imitating every old-fashioned flourish; shakes, cadences, drawn-out notes going up and down, and throwing in all sorts of silly antics until the audience, recovering from their surprise, starts laughing uncontrollably; until I start laughing myself, madly, frantically, between the lines of the melody, my voice finally drowned out by this dull, brutal laughter… And then, to top it all off, I shake my fist at this long-dead singer, who’s looking at me with his wicked woman’s face and his mocking, silly smile.

"Ah! you would like to be revenged on me also!" I exclaim. "You would like me to write you nice roulades and flourishes, another nice Aria dei Mariti, my fine Zaffirino!"

"Ah! You want to get back at me too!" I say. "You want me to write you nice runs and embellishments, another lovely Aria dei Mariti, my dear Zaffirino!"

That night I dreamed a very strange dream. Even in the big half-furnished room the heat and closeness were stifling. The air seemed laden with the scent of all manner of white flowers, faint and heavy in their intolerable sweetness: tuberoses, gardenias, and jasmines drooping I know not where in neglected vases. The moonlight had transformed the marble floor around me into a shallow, shining, pool. On account of the heat I had exchanged my bed for a big old-fashioned sofa of light wood, painted with little nosegays and sprigs, like an old silk; and I lay there, not attempting to sleep, and letting my thoughts go vaguely to my opera of Ogier the Dane, of which I had long finished writing the words, and for whose music I had hoped to find some inspiration in this strange Venice, floating, as it were, in the stagnant lagoon of the past. But Venice had merely put all my ideas into hopeless confusion; it was as if there arose out of its shallow waters a miasma of long-dead melodies, which sickened but intoxicated my soul. I lay on my sofa watching that pool of whitish light, which rose higher and higher, little trickles of light meeting it here and there, wherever the moon's rays struck upon some polished surface; while huge shadows waved to and fro in the draught of the open balcony.

That night I had a really strange dream. Even in the large, partially furnished room, the heat and closeness were suffocating. The air was heavy with the scent of various white flowers, faint but overwhelming in their sickly sweetness: tuberoses, gardenias, and jasmines drooping, I didn’t know where, in neglected vases. The moonlight had turned the marble floor around me into a shallow, shining pool. Because of the heat, I had traded my bed for a big, old-fashioned light wood sofa, decorated with little floral designs like an old silk; I lay there, not trying to sleep, letting my thoughts drift to my opera Ogier the Dane, for which I had long finished writing the lyrics and hoped to find some inspiration for the music in this strange Venice, almost floating in the stagnant lagoon of the past. But Venice had only confused all my ideas; it was as if a miasma of long-forgotten melodies rose from its shallow waters, both sickening and intoxicating my soul. I lay on my sofa, watching that pool of whitish light, which kept rising, with little streams of light meeting it here and there wherever the moon’s rays hit some polished surface, while huge shadows swayed back and forth in the draft from the open balcony.

I went over and over that old Norse story: how the Paladin, Ogier, one of the knights of Charlemagne, was decoyed during his homeward wanderings from the Holy Land by the arts of an enchantress, the same who had once held in bondage the great Emperor Caesar and given him King Oberon for a son; how Ogier had tarried in that island only one day and one night, and yet, when he came home to his kingdom, he found all changed, his friends dead, his family dethroned, and not a man who knew his face; until at last, driven hither and thither like a beggar, a poor minstrel had taken compassion of his sufferings and given him all he could give—a song, the song of the prowess of a hero dead for hundreds of years, the Paladin Ogier the Dane.

I kept going over that old Norse story: how the Paladin, Ogier, one of Charlemagne's knights, was lured away during his journey home from the Holy Land by the tricks of an enchantress, the same one who had once captured the great Emperor Caesar and given him King Oberon as a son; how Ogier stayed on that island only one day and one night, and yet, when he returned to his kingdom, he found everything changed—his friends dead, his family overthrown, and no one knew his face; until finally, wandering around like a beggar, a poor minstrel took pity on his suffering and gave him what little he could— a song, the song of the greatness of a hero who had been dead for hundreds of years, the Paladin Ogier the Dane.

The story of Ogier ran into a dream, as vivid as my waking thoughts had been vague. I was looking no longer at the pool of moonlight spreading round my couch, with its trickles of light and looming, waving shadows, but the frescoed walls of a great saloon. It was not, as I recognized in a second, the dining-room of that Venetian palace now turned into a boarding-house. It was a far larger room, a real ballroom, almost circular in its octagon shape, with eight huge white doors surrounded by stucco moldings, and, high on the vault of the ceiling, eight little galleries or recesses like boxes at a theatre, intended no doubt for musicians and spectators. The place was imperfectly lighted by only one of the eight chandeliers, which revolved slowly, like huge spiders, each on its long cord. But the light struck upon the gilt stuccoes opposite me, and on a large expanse of fresco, the sacrifice of Iphigenia, with Agamemnon and Achilles in Roman helmets, lappets, and knee-breeches. It discovered also one of the oil panels let into the moldings of the roof, a goddess in lemon and lilac draperies, foreshortened over a great green peacock. Round the room, where the light reached, I could make out big yellow satin sofas and heavy gilded consoles; in the shadow of a corner was what looked like a piano, and farther in the shade one of those big canopies which decorate the anterooms of Roman palaces. I looked about me, wondering where I was: a heavy, sweet smell, reminding me of the flavor of a peach, filled the place.

The story of Ogier turned into a dream, as vivid as my waking thoughts had been unclear. I was no longer staring at the pool of moonlight that spread around my couch, with its streams of light and looming, swaying shadows, but at the painted walls of a grand room. I quickly realized it wasn't the dining room of that Venetian palace that had become a boarding house. It was a much larger room, a genuine ballroom, almost circular in its octagonal shape, with eight massive white doors framed by intricate plaster moldings, and, high on the vaulted ceiling, eight small galleries or recesses like boxes at a theater, likely intended for musicians and spectators. The room was dimly lit by only one of the eight chandeliers, which turned slowly, like giant spiders, each hanging from its long cord. But the light fell upon the gilded stuccoes opposite me and a large fresco depicting the sacrifice of Iphigenia, featuring Agamemnon and Achilles in Roman helmets, capes, and knee-breeches. It also illuminated an oil panel set into the moldings of the ceiling, showing a goddess draped in lemon and lilac, foreshortened over a magnificent green peacock. Around the room, where the light reached, I could see large yellow satin sofas and heavy gilded consoles; in the shadows of a corner was what looked like a piano, and further back in the dark was one of those grand canopies that adorn the anterooms of Roman palaces. I looked around, trying to figure out where I was: a rich, sweet scent, reminiscent of a peach, filled the space.

Little by little I began to perceive sounds; little, sharp, metallic, detached notes, like those of a mandolin; and there was united to them a voice, very low and sweet, almost a whisper, which grew and grew and grew, until the whole place was filled with that exquisite vibrating note, of a strange, exotic, unique quality. The note went on, swelling and swelling. Suddenly there was a horrible piercing shriek, and the thud of a body on the floor, and all manner of smothered exclamations. There, close by the canopy, a light suddenly appeared; and I could see, among the dark figures moving to and fro in the room, a woman lying on the ground, surrounded by other women. Her blond hair, tangled, full of diamond-sparkles which cut through the half-darkness, was hanging disheveled; the laces of her bodice had been cut, and her white breast shone among the sheen of jeweled brocade; her face was bent forwards, and a thin white arm trailed, like a broken limb, across the knees of one of the women who were endeavoring to lift her. There was a sudden splash of water against the floor, more confused exclamations, a hoarse, broken moan, and a gurgling, dreadful sound…. I awoke with a start and rushed to the window.

Little by little, I started to hear sounds: small, sharp, metallic notes, like those of a mandolin; and there was a voice, very low and sweet, almost a whisper, that grew and grew until the entire place was filled with that exquisite, vibrating note, of a strange, exotic, unique quality. The note continued, swelling and swelling. Suddenly, there was a horrible, piercing shriek, followed by the thud of a body hitting the floor, and muffled exclamations from all around. Then, close to the canopy, a light suddenly appeared; and I could see, among the dark figures moving back and forth in the room, a woman lying on the ground, surrounded by other women. Her blonde hair, tangled and full of diamond sparkles that cut through the dim light, was disheveled; the laces of her bodice had been cut, and her white breast shone against the jeweled brocade; her face was bent forward, and a thin white arm dangled like a broken limb across the knees of one of the women trying to lift her. There was a sudden splash of water against the floor, more confused exclamations, a hoarse, broken moan, and a gurgling, dreadful sound… I awoke with a start and rushed to the window.

Outside, in the blue haze of the moon, the church and belfry of St. George loomed blue and hazy, with the black hull and rigging, the red lights, of a large steamer moored before them. From the lagoon rose a damp sea-breeze. What was it all? Ah! I began to understand: that story of old Count Alvise's, the death of his grand-aunt, Pisana Vendramin. Yes, it was about that I had been dreaming.

Outside, in the bluish glow of the moon, the church and bell tower of St. George stood blue and hazy, alongside the dark shape and rigging, and the red lights of a large ship docked in front of them. A cool sea breeze rose from the lagoon. What was all this? Ah! I started to get it: that story about old Count Alvise and the death of his great-aunt, Pisana Vendramin. Yes, that’s what I had been dreaming about.

I returned to my room; I struck a light, and sat down to my writing-table. Sleep had become impossible. I tried to work at my opera. Once or twice I thought I had got hold of what I had looked for so long…. But as soon as I tried to lay hold of my theme, there arose in my mind the distant echo of that voice, of that long note swelled slowly by insensible degrees, that long note whose tone was so strong and so subtle.

I went back to my room, lit a candle, and sat down at my writing desk. Sleep was out of the question. I tried to work on my opera. A couple of times, I thought I had finally found what I had been searching for all this time… But every time I tried to grab onto my theme, I heard the distant echo of that voice, that long note building slowly, that note with such a powerful and nuanced tone.

There are in the life of an artist moments when, still unable to seize his own inspiration, or even clearly to discern it, he becomes aware of the approach of that long-invoked idea. A mingled joy and terror warn him that before another day, another hour have passed, the inspiration shall have crossed the threshold of his soul and flooded it with its rapture. All day I had felt the need of isolation and quiet, and at nightfall I went for a row on the most solitary part of the lagoon. All things seemed to tell that I was going to meet my inspiration, and I awaited its coming as a lover awaits his beloved.

There are moments in an artist's life when he still can't capture his own inspiration, or even see it clearly, yet he senses that long-awaited idea is drawing near. A mix of joy and fear warns him that before another day or even another hour passes, the inspiration will cross the threshold of his soul and fill it with its ecstasy. All day I had felt the need for solitude and peace, and as night fell, I went for a row in the most isolated part of the lagoon. Everything seemed to signal that I was about to encounter my inspiration, and I awaited its arrival like a lover waiting for his beloved.

I had stopped my gondola for a moment, and as I gently swayed to and fro on the water, all paved with moonbeams, it seemed to me that I was on the confines of an imaginary world. It lay close at hand, enveloped in luminous, pale blue mist, through which the moon had cut a wide and glistening path; out to sea, the little islands, like moored black boats, only accentuated the solitude of this region of moonbeams and wavelets; while the hum of the insects in orchards hard by merely added to the impression of untroubled silence. On some such seas, I thought, must the Paladin Ogier, have sailed when about to discover that during that sleep at the enchantress's knees centuries had elapsed and the heroic world had set, and the kingdom of prose had come.

I had paused my gondola for a moment, and as I gently swayed back and forth on the water, illuminated by moonlight, it felt like I was on the edge of a fantasy world. It was close by, wrapped in a soft, pale blue mist, with the moon casting a wide, shimmering path; out at sea, the small islands, resembling anchored black boats, only highlighted the solitude of this moonlit and gently rippling area; meanwhile, the buzz of the insects in the nearby orchards only added to the sense of peaceful silence. I thought that on seas like these, the Paladin Ogier must have sailed when he discovered that during his sleep at the enchantress's feet, centuries had passed and the age of heroes had ended, giving way to the age of prose.

While my gondola rocked stationary on that sea of moonbeams, I pondered over that twilight of the heroic world. In the soft rattle of the water on the hull I seemed to hear the rattle of all that armor, of all those swords swinging rusty on the walls, neglected by the degenerate sons of the great champions of old. I had long been in search of a theme which I called the theme of the "Prowess of Ogier;" it was to appear from time to time in the course of my opera, to develop at last into that song of the Minstrel, which reveals to the hero that he is one of a long-dead world. And at this moment I seemed to feel the presence of that theme. Yet an instant, and my mind would be overwhelmed by that savage music, heroic, funereal.

While my gondola swayed gently on that sea of moonlight, I reflected on the fading glory of the heroic past. In the soft sound of water lapping against the hull, I seemed to hear the clanking of armor and the dull swing of rusty swords hanging on the walls, abandoned by the unworthy descendants of the great heroes of history. I had been searching for a theme that I referred to as the "Prowess of Ogier;" it was meant to appear throughout my opera, ultimately culminating in the song of the Minstrel, which reveals to the hero that he is part of a long-gone world. At that moment, I felt the presence of that theme. But in an instant, my mind would be overwhelmed by that fierce, heroic, funeral music.

Suddenly there came across the lagoon, cleaving, checkering, and fretting the silence with a lacework of sound even as the moon was fretting and cleaving the water, a ripple of music, a voice breaking itself in a shower of little scales and cadences and trills.

Suddenly, across the lagoon, cutting through and breaking the silence with a pattern of sound, just like the moon was breaking the water, came a ripple of music, a voice scattering into a shower of tiny notes, rhythms, and trills.

I sank back upon my cushions. The vision of heroic days had vanished, and before my closed eyes there seemed to dance multitudes of little stars of light, chasing and interlacing like those sudden vocalizations.

I fell back onto my cushions. The vision of heroic times had disappeared, and before my closed eyes, there seemed to be countless little stars of light dancing, chasing, and weaving together like those sudden sounds.

"To shore! Quick!" I cried to the gondolier.

"To shore! Hurry!" I shouted to the gondolier.

But the sounds had ceased; and there came from the orchards, with their mulberry-trees glistening in the moonlight, and their black swaying cypress-plumes, nothing save the confused hum, the monotonous chirp, of the crickets.

But the sounds had stopped; and from the orchards, with their mulberry trees shining in the moonlight and their dark swaying cypress trees, there was nothing but the confused buzzing and the monotonous chirping of the crickets.

I looked around me: on one side empty dunes, orchards, and meadows, without house or steeple; on the other, the blue and misty sea, empty to where distant islets were profiled black on the horizon.

I looked around me: on one side were empty dunes, orchards, and meadows, without a house or steeple; on the other, the blue and misty sea, stretching out to where distant islands stood out dark against the horizon.

A faintness overcame me, and I felt myself dissolve. For all of a sudden a second ripple of voice swept over the lagoon, a shower of little notes, which seemed to form a little mocking laugh.

A wave of weakness washed over me, and I felt myself fade away. Suddenly, a second ripple of sound swept across the lagoon, a cascade of tiny notes that seemed to create a little mocking laugh.

Then again all was still. This silence lasted so long that I fell once more to meditating on my opera. I lay in wait once more for the half-caught theme. But no. It was not that theme for which I was waiting and watching with baited breath. I realized my delusion when, on rounding the point of the Giudecca, the murmur of a voice arose from the midst of the waters, a thread of sound slender as a moonbeam, scarce audible, but exquisite, which expanded slowly, insensibly, taking volume and body, taking flesh almost and fire, an ineffable quality, full, passionate, but veiled, as it were, in a subtle, downy wrapper. The note grew stronger and stronger, and warmer and more passionate, until it burst through that strange and charming veil, and emerged beaming, to break itself in the luminous facets of a wonderful shake, long, superb, triumphant.

Then everything was quiet again. This silence lasted so long that I found myself thinking about my opera once more. I waited again for the half-formed melody. But no. It wasn’t the melody I was hoping for. I realized I was mistaken when, as I rounded the corner of the Giudecca, I heard a voice rising from the waters, a sound as delicate as a moonbeam, barely audible, but beautiful, slowly expanding, almost taking on shape and warmth, with an ineffable quality, full and passionate, yet wrapped in a subtle, soft layer. The note grew stronger and warmer, more passionate, until it broke through that enchanting and mysterious veil, shining out, culminating in the dazzling facets of a magnificent, long, triumphant shake.

There was a dead silence.

There was complete silence.

"Row to St. Mark's!" I exclaimed. "Quick!"

"Row to St. Mark's!" I shouted. "Hurry!"

The gondola glided through the long, glittering track of moonbeams, and rent the great band of yellow, reflected light, mirroring the cupolas of St. Mark's, the lace-like pinnacles of the palace, and the slender pink belfry, which rose from the lit-up water to the pale and bluish evening sky.

The gondola floated along the long, shining path of moonlight, cutting through the wide band of yellow, reflected light, reflecting the domes of St. Mark's, the delicate spires of the palace, and the tall pink bell tower, which rose from the illuminated water to the soft, bluish evening sky.

In the larger of the two squares the military band was blaring through the last spirals of a crescendo of Rossini. The crowd was dispersing in this great open-air ballroom, and the sounds arose which invariably follow upon out-of-door music. A clatter of spoons and glasses, a rustle and grating of frocks and of chairs, and the click of scabbards on the pavement. I pushed my way among the fashionable youths contemplating the ladies while sucking the knob of their sticks; through the serried ranks of respectable families, marching arm in arm with their white frocked young ladies close in front. I took a seat before Florian's, among the customers stretching themselves before departing, and the waiters hurrying to and fro, clattering their empty cups and trays. Two imitation Neapolitans were slipping their guitar and violin under their arm, ready to leave the place.

In the larger of the two squares, the military band was blasting through the final notes of a crescendo from Rossini. The crowd was breaking up in this huge outdoor ballroom, and the familiar sounds that follow outdoor music filled the air. There was a clatter of spoons and glasses, a rustling and scraping of dresses and chairs, and the clinking of scabbards on the pavement. I pushed my way through the fashionable young men watching the ladies while sucking on the knobs of their walking sticks, through the solid lines of respectable families, arm in arm with their young ladies in white dresses close in front. I took a seat in front of Florian's, among the customers who were stretching out before leaving, and the waiters rushing to and fro, clattering their empty cups and trays. Two imitation Neapolitans were tucking their guitar and violin under their arms, ready to leave the place.

"Stop!" I cried to them; "don't go yet. Sing me _something—sing La Camesella or Funiculì, funiculà—no matter what, provided you make a row;" and as they screamed and scraped their utmost, I added, "But can't you sing louder, d—n you!—sing louder, do you understand?"

"Stop!" I yelled at them; "don't leave yet. Sing me _something—sing La Camesella or Funiculì, funiculà—it doesn't matter, just make some noise;" and as they yelled and played their hardest, I added, "But can't you sing louder, damn it!—sing louder, do you get it?"

I felt the need of noise, of yells and false notes, of something vulgar and hideous to drive away that ghost-voice which was haunting me.

I needed noise, shouts, and off-key sounds, something rude and ugly to shake off that ghostly voice that was following me around.

Again and again I told myself that it had been some silly prank of a romantic amateur, hidden in the gardens of the shore or gliding unperceived on the lagoon; and that the sorcery of moonlight and sea-mist had transfigured for my excited brain mere humdrum roulades out of exercises of Bordogni or Crescentini.

Again and again I told myself it had been some silly prank by a lovesick amateur, lurking in the gardens by the shore or quietly gliding on the lagoon. I convinced myself that the magic of moonlight and sea mist had turned ordinary scales from exercises by Bordogni or Crescentini into something extraordinary for my excited mind.

But all the same I continued to be haunted by that voice. My work was interrupted ever and anon by the attempt to catch its imaginary echo; and the heroic harmonies of my Scandinavian legend were strangely interwoven with voluptuous phrases and florid cadences in which I seemed to hear again that same accursed voice.

But still, I couldn’t shake that voice from my mind. My work was constantly interrupted by my efforts to capture its imagined echo; and the powerful rhythms of my Scandinavian legend were oddly mixed with seductive phrases and elaborate melodies in which I seemed to hear that same cursed voice again.

To be haunted by singing-exercises! It seemed too ridiculous for a man who professedly despised the art of singing. And still, I preferred to believe in that childish amateur, amusing himself with warbling to the moon.

To be haunted by singing exercises! It felt too ridiculous for someone who claimed to despise singing. Still, I chose to believe in that silly amateur, having fun singing to the moon.

One day, while making these reflections the hundredth time over, my eyes chanced to light upon the portrait of Zaffirino, which my friend had pinned against the wall. I pulled it down and tore it into half a dozen shreds. Then, already ashamed of my folly, I watched the torn pieces float down from the window, wafted hither and thither by the sea-breeze. One scrap got caught in a yellow blind below me; the others fell into the canal, and were speedily lost to sight in the dark water. I was overcome with shame. My heart beat like bursting. What a miserable, unnerved worm I had become in this cursed Venice, with its languishing moonlights, its atmosphere as of some stuffy boudoir, long unused, full of old stuffs and potpourri!

One day, while going over these thoughts for the hundredth time, my eyes happened to land on the portrait of Zaffirino, which my friend had pinned to the wall. I took it down and tore it into several pieces. Then, already embarrassed by my impulsive act, I watched the torn bits float down from the window, carried this way and that by the sea breeze. One piece got snagged in a yellow blind below me; the others fell into the canal and quickly disappeared in the dark water. I was overwhelmed with shame. My heart was racing. What a pathetic, anxious person I had become in this cursed Venice, with its dreamy moonlight, its atmosphere like a stuffy, unused bedroom, filled with old things and potpourri!

That night, however, things seemed to be going better. I was able to settle down to my opera, and even to work at it. In the intervals my thoughts returned, not without a certain pleasure, to those scattered fragments of the torn engraving fluttering down to the water. I was disturbed at my piano by the hoarse voices and the scraping of violins which rose from one of those music-boats that station at night under the hotels of the Grand Canal. The moon had set. Under my balcony the water stretched black into the distance, its darkness cut by the still darker outlines of the flotilla of gondolas in attendance on the music-boat, where the faces of the singers, and the guitars and violins, gleamed reddish under the unsteady light of the Chinese-lanterns.

That night, though, things felt like they were going better. I managed to focus on my opera and even make some progress. During the breaks, my mind drifted back, not without some enjoyment, to those scattered pieces of the torn engraving that were drifting down to the water. I was distracted at my piano by the rough voices and the scraping of violins coming from one of those music boats that hang out at night under the hotels along the Grand Canal. The moon had set. Under my balcony, the water stretched black into the distance, its darkness pierced by the even darker shapes of the fleet of gondolas surrounding the music boat, where the faces of the singers, along with the guitars and violins, glinted reddish under the flickering light of the Chinese lanterns.

"Jammo, jammo; jammo, jammo jà," sang the loud, hoarse voices; then a tremendous scrape and twang, and the yelled-out burden, "Funiculi, funiculà; funiculi, funiculà; jammo, jammo, jammo, jammo, jammo jà."

"Come on, come on; come on, come on now," sang the loud, rough voices; then a big scrape and twang, and the shouted chorus, "Funiculi, funiculà; funiculi, funiculà; come on, come on, come on, come on, come on now."

Then came a few cries of "Bis, Bis!" from a neighboring hotel, a brief clapping of hands, the sound of a handful of coppers rattling into the boat, and the oar-stroke of some gondolier making ready to turn away.

Then came a few shouts of "Bis, Bis!" from a nearby hotel, some quick clapping, the sound of a few coins clinking into the boat, and the stroke of an oar from a gondolier preparing to turn away.

"Sing the _Camesella___," ordered some voice with a foreign accent.

"Sing the _Camesella_," commanded a voice with a foreign accent.

"No, no! Santa Lucia."

"No, no! Santa Lucia."

"I want the Camesella."

"I want the Camesella."

"No! Santa Lucia. Hi! sing Santa Lucia—d'you hear?"

"No! Santa Lucia. Hi! Sing Santa Lucia—do you hear?"

The musicians, under their green and yellow and red lamps, held a whispered consultation on the manner of conciliating these contradictory demands. Then, after a minute's hesitation, the violins began the prelude of that once famous air, which has remained popular in Venice—the words written, some hundred years ago, by the patrician Gritti, the music by an unknown composer—La Biondina in Gondoleta.

The musicians, under their green, yellow, and red lamps, quietly discussed how to balance these conflicting demands. After a brief pause, the violins kicked off the prelude to that once-famous tune, which has stayed popular in Venice—the lyrics penned about a hundred years ago by the nobleman Gritti, the music by an unknown composer—La Biondina in Gondoleta.

That cursed eighteenth century! It seemed a malignant fatality that made these brutes choose just this piece to interrupt me.

That cursed eighteenth century! It felt like some kind of bad luck that these idiots picked this moment to interrupt me.

At last the long prelude came to an end; and above the cracked guitars and squeaking fiddles there arose, not the expected nasal chorus, but a single voice singing below its breath.

At last, the long introduction came to an end; and above the cracked guitars and squeaky fiddles, there rose, not the expected nasal choir, but a single voice singing softly.

My arteries throbbed. How well I knew that voice! It was singing, as I have said, below its breath, yet none the less it sufficed to fill all that reach of the canal with its strange quality of tone, exquisite, far-fetched.

My arteries pulsed. I recognized that voice so well! It was singing softly, as I mentioned, but it still managed to fill the entire stretch of the canal with its unique tone, beautiful and distant.

They were long-drawn-out notes, of intense but peculiar sweetness, a man's voice which had much of a woman's, but more even of a chorister's, but a chorister's voice without its limpidity and innocence; its youthfulness was veiled, muffled, as it were, in a sort of downy vagueness, as if a passion of tears withheld.

They were prolonged notes, intensely sweet but oddly so, a man's voice that carried some of a woman's qualities, yet even more reminiscent of a choir singer's, though it lacked the clarity and innocence typically found in a choir voice; its youthfulness was hidden, muffled, almost like it was wrapped in a soft haze, as if held back by a flood of uncried tears.

There was a burst of applause, and the old palaces re-echoed with the clapping. "Bravo, bravo! Thank you, thank you! Sing again—please, sing again. Who can it be?"

There was a loud round of applause, and the old palaces resonated with the clapping. "Bravo, bravo! Thank you, thank you! Sing again—please, sing again. Who could it be?"

And then a bumping of hulls, a splashing of oars, and the oaths of gondoliers trying to push each other away, as the red prow-lamps of the gondolas pressed round the gaily lit singing-boat.

And then there was a clash of boats, a splash of oars, and the shouts of gondoliers trying to shove each other out of the way, as the red lights at the front of the gondolas surrounded the brightly lit singing boat.

But no one stirred on board. It was to none of them that this applause was due. And while every one pressed on, and clapped and vociferated, one little red prow-lamp dropped away from the fleet; for a moment a single gondola stood forth black upon the black water, and then was lost in the night.

But no one moved on board. This applause wasn’t for any of them. While everyone else pushed forward, clapped, and shouted, one small red front lamp drifted away from the group; for a moment, a single gondola stood out black against the dark water, and then it vanished into the night.

For several days the mysterious singer was the universal topic. The people of the music-boat swore that no one besides themselves had been on board, and that they knew as little as ourselves about the owner of that voice. The gondoliers, despite their descent from the spies of the old Republic, were equally unable to furnish any clue. No musical celebrity was known or suspected to be at Venice; and every one agreed that such a singer must be a European celebrity. The strangest thing in this strange business was, that even among those learned in music there was no agreement on the subject of this voice: it was called by all sorts of names and described by all manner of incongruous adjectives; people went so far as to dispute whether the voice belonged to a man or to a woman: every one had some new definition.

For several days, the mysterious singer was the talk of the town. The people on the music boat insisted that no one else had been onboard, and they knew just as little as we did about the owner of that voice. The gondoliers, despite their ties to the spies of the old Republic, couldn't provide any leads either. No music celebrity was known or suspected to be in Venice, and everyone agreed that such a singer must be a European star. The weirdest part of this strange situation was that even among those knowledgeable about music, there was no consensus on the subject of this voice: it was labeled with all sorts of names and described with all kinds of mismatched adjectives; people went so far as to argue over whether the voice belonged to a man or a woman: everyone had some new description.

In all these musical discussions I, alone, brought forward no opinion. I felt a repugnance, an impossibility almost, of speaking about that voice; and the more or less commonplace conjectures of my friend had the invariable effect of sending me out of the room.

In all these music discussions, I didn't share any opinions. I felt a strong reluctance, almost a complete inability, to talk about that voice; and my friend's more or less ordinary theories always made me want to leave the room.

Meanwhile my work was becoming daily more difficult, and I soon passed from utter impotence to a state of inexplicable agitation. Every morning I arose with fine resolutions and grand projects of work; only to go to bed that night without having accomplished anything. I spent hours leaning on my balcony, or wandering through the network of lanes with their ribbon of blue sky, endeavoring vainly to expel the thought of that voice, or endeavoring in reality to reproduce it in my memory; for the more I tried to banish it from my thoughts, the more I grew to thirst for that extraordinary tone, for those mysteriously downy, veiled notes; and no sooner did I make an effort to work at my opera than my head was full of scraps of forgotten eighteenth century airs, of frivolous or languishing little phrases; and I fell to wondering with a bitter-sweet longing how those songs would have sounded if sung by that voice.

Meanwhile, my work was becoming increasingly difficult, and I soon went from feeling completely helpless to a state of unexplainable agitation. Every morning, I woke up with good intentions and big plans for my work, only to go to bed that night having achieved nothing. I spent hours leaning on my balcony or wandering through the web of alleys under the strip of blue sky, trying in vain to push that voice out of my mind, or, in reality, trying to recreate it in my memory; because the more I attempted to get rid of it, the more I craved that unique tone, those mysteriously soft, hidden notes. As soon as I tried to focus on my opera, my mind was flooded with fragments of forgotten eighteenth-century melodies, with trivial or melancholic little phrases. I found myself wondering, with a bittersweet longing, how those songs would have sounded if sung by that voice.

At length it became necessary to see a doctor, from whom, however, I carefully hid away all the stranger symptoms of my malady. The air of the lagoons, the great heat, he answered cheerfully, had pulled me down a little; a tonic and a month in the country, with plenty of riding and no work, would make me myself again. That old idler, Count Alvise, who had insisted on accompanying me to the physician's, immediately suggested that I should go and stay with his son, who was boring himself to death superintending the maize harvest on the mainland: he could promise me excellent air, plenty of horses, and all the peaceful surroundings and the delightful occupations of a rural life—"Be sensible, my dear Magnus, and just go quietly to Mistrà."

Eventually, I needed to see a doctor, but I carefully hid all the unusual symptoms of my illness from him. The doctor cheerfully said that the lagoon air and the heat had worn me down a bit; a tonic and a month in the countryside, with lots of riding and no work, would bring me back to myself. That old slacker, Count Alvise, who insisted on coming with me to the appointment, immediately suggested that I should stay with his son, who was bored out of his mind supervising the corn harvest on the mainland: he promised me great air, plenty of horses, and all the peaceful vibes and enjoyable activities of rural life—"Be sensible, my dear Magnus, and just go quietly to Mistrà."

Mistrà—the name sent a shiver all down me. I was about to decline the invitation, when a thought suddenly loomed vaguely in my mind.

Mistrà—the name sent a chill through me. I was about to turn down the invitation when a thought suddenly flickered in my mind.

"Yes, dear Count," I answered; "I accept your invitation with gratitude and pleasure. I will start tomorrow for Mistrà."

"Yes, dear Count," I replied; "I happily accept your invitation. I’ll head to Mistrà tomorrow."

The next day found me at Padua, on my way to the Villa of Mistrà. It seemed as if I had left an intolerable burden behind me. I was, for the first time since how long, quite light of heart. The tortuous, rough-paved streets, with their empty, gloomy porticoes; the ill-plastered palaces, with closed, discolored shutters; the little rambling square, with meager trees and stubborn grass; the Venetian garden-houses reflecting their crumbling graces in the muddy canal; the gardens without gates and the gates without gardens, the avenues leading nowhere; and the population of blind and legless beggars, of whining sacristans, which issued as by magic from between the flag-stones and dust-heaps and weeds under the fierce August sun, all this dreariness merely amused and pleased me. My good spirits were heightened by a musical mass which I had the good fortune to hear at St. Anthony's.

The next day found me in Padua, on my way to the Villa of Mistrà. It felt like I had left an unbearable weight behind me. For the first time in ages, I was genuinely lighthearted. The winding, rough streets with their empty, gloomy porticoes; the poorly maintained palaces with closed, faded shutters; the small, disheveled square with sparse trees and stubborn grass; the Venetian garden houses reflecting their decaying beauty in the muddy canal; the gardens without gates and the gates without gardens, the paths leading to nowhere; and the crowd of blind and legless beggars, and whining sacristans that seemed to magically appear from the cracks in the pavement and the piles of dust and weeds under the scorching August sun—all this dreariness only amused and delighted me. My good mood was lifted by a beautiful mass that I was fortunate to hear at St. Anthony's.

Never in all my days had I heard anything comparable, although Italy affords many strange things in the way of sacred music. Into the deep nasal chanting of the priests there had suddenly burst a chorus of children, singing absolutely independent of all time and tune; grunting of priests answered by squealing of boys, slow Gregorian modulation interrupted by jaunty barrel-organ pipings, an insane, insanely merry jumble of bellowing and barking, mewing and cackling and braying, such as would have enlivened a witches' meeting, or rather some mediaeval Feast of Fools. And, to make the grotesqueness of such music still more fantastic and Hoffmannlike, there was, besides, the magnificence of the piles of sculptured marbles and gilded bronzes, the tradition of the musical splendor for which St. Anthony's had been famous in days gone by. I had read in old travelers, Lalande and Burney, that the Republic of St. Mark had squandered immense sums not merely on the monuments and decoration, but on the musical establishment of its great cathedral of Terra Firma. In the midst of this ineffable concert of impossible voices and instruments, I tried to imagine the voice of Guadagni, the soprano for whom Gluck had written Che faru senza Euridice, and the fiddle of Tartini, that Tartini with whom the devil had once come and made music. And the delight in anything so absolutely, barbarously, grotesquely, fantastically incongruous as such a performance in such a place was heightened by a sense of profanation: such were the successors of those wonderful musicians of that hated eighteenth century!

Never in my life had I heard anything quite like it, even though Italy has its fair share of unique sacred music. As the deep, nasal chanting of the priests filled the air, it was suddenly interrupted by a chorus of children, singing completely out of sync and off-key; the priests grunted back at the squealing boys, with slow Gregorian melodies being broken by cheerful barrel-organ tunes—a chaotic and crazily joyful mix of roaring and barking, meowing and clucking, braying and more, like something from a witches' gathering or a medieval Feast of Fools. To make the strangeness of the music even more surreal and reminiscent of Hoffmann, there was also the grandeur of the beautifully sculpted marbles and golden bronzes, along with the history of the musical brilliance for which St. Anthony's had been renowned in the past. I had read in old travel accounts, by Lalande and Burney, that the Republic of St. Mark had spent enormous amounts, not just on monuments and decorations, but also on the music establishment of its grand cathedral of Terra Firma. Amidst this indescribable cacophony of impossible voices and instruments, I tried to picture the voice of Guadagni, the soprano for whom Gluck had composed Che faru senza Euridice, and the violin of Tartini, that Tartini who once made music with the devil. My enjoyment of something so utterly, barbarically, grotesquely, and fantastically mismatched in such a setting was heightened by a sense of desecration: these were the successors of those incredible musicians from that despised eighteenth century!

The whole thing had delighted me so much, so very much more than the most faultless performance could have done, that I determined to enjoy it once more; and towards vesper-time, after a cheerful dinner with two bagmen at the inn of the Golden Star, and a pipe over the rough sketch of a possible cantata upon the music which the devil made for Tartini, I turned my steps once more towards St. Anthony's.

The whole experience had made me so incredibly happy, far more than any perfect performance could have, that I decided to enjoy it again; and around evening time, after a fun dinner with two salesmen at the Golden Star inn and a smoke while working on a rough draft of a potential cantata based on the music that the devil created for Tartini, I headed back to St. Anthony's.

The bells were ringing for sunset, and a muffled sound of organs seemed to issue from the huge, solitary church; I pushed my way under the heavy leathern curtain, expecting to be greeted by the grotesque performance of that morning.

The bells were ringing for sunset, and a muffled sound of organs seemed to come from the massive, solitary church; I made my way under the heavy leather curtain, expecting to see the bizarre show from that morning.

I proved mistaken. Vespers must long have been over. A smell of stale incense, a crypt-like damp filled my mouth; it was already night in that vast cathedral. Out of the darkness glimmered the votive-lamps of the chapels, throwing wavering lights upon the red polished marble, the gilded railing, and chandeliers, and plaqueing with yellow the muscles of some sculptured figure. In a corner a burning taper put a halo about the head of a priest, burnishing his shining bald skull, his white surplice, and the open book before him. "Amen" he chanted; the book was closed with a snap, the light moved up the apse, some dark figures of women rose from their knees and passed quickly towards the door; a man saying his prayers before a chapel also got up, making a great clatter in dropping his stick.

I realized I was wrong. Vespers must have been over for a while. The smell of stale incense and a dampness like a crypt filled my mouth; it was already night in that enormous cathedral. Out of the darkness, the votive lamps in the chapels flickered, casting wavering lights on the red polished marble, the gilded railing, and chandeliers, lighting up the muscles of some sculpted figure in a yellow hue. In a corner, a burning candle created a halo around a priest's head, shining on his bald skull, his white surplice, and the open book in front of him. "Amen," he chanted; the book snapped shut, the light moved up the apse, and some dark figures of women rose from their knees and hastily made their way to the door; a man who had been praying in front of a chapel also got up, making a loud noise as he dropped his stick.

The church was empty, and I expected every minute to be turned out by the sacristan making his evening round to close the doors. I was leaning against a pillar, looking into the greyness of the great arches, when the organ suddenly burst out into a series of chords, rolling through the echoes of the church: it seemed to be the conclusion of some service. And above the organ rose the notes of a voice; high, soft, enveloped in a kind of downiness, like a cloud of incense, and which ran through the mazes of a long cadence. The voice dropped into silence; with two thundering chords the organ closed in. All was silent. For a moment I stood leaning against one of the pillars of the nave: my hair was clammy, my knees sank beneath me, an enervating heat spread through my body; I tried to breathe more largely, to suck in the sounds with the incense-laden air. I was supremely happy, and yet as if I were dying; then suddenly a chill ran through me, and with it a vague panic. I turned away and hurried out into the open.

The church was empty, and I expected the sacristan to come around any minute to close the doors for the night. I was propped against a pillar, staring into the grayness of the big arches when suddenly the organ burst into a series of chords, echoing throughout the church. It felt like the end of some service. Above the organ, a voice soared; it was high, soft, wrapped in a kind of fluffiness, like a cloud of incense, weaving through a long melody. The voice faded into silence, and with two thunderous chords, the organ wrapped it all up. Everything went silent. For a moment, I leaned against one of the pillars of the nave: my hair was damp, my knees buckled, an exhausting heat spread through my body; I tried to breathe deeper, to take in the sounds along with the incense-filled air. I felt incredibly happy, but also like I was dying; then suddenly a chill shot through me, followed by a vague sense of panic. I turned and rushed outside.

The evening sky lay pure and blue along the jagged line of roofs; the bats and swallows were wheeling about; and from the belfries all around, half-drowned by the deep bell of St. Anthony's, jangled the peel of the Ave Maria.

The evening sky was clear and blue over the jagged rooftops; bats and swallows were swooping around; and from the nearby bell towers, almost drowned out by the deep sound of St. Anthony's bell, rang the chime of the Ave Maria.

"You really don't seem well," young Count Alvise had said the previous evening, as he welcomed me, in the light of a lantern held up by a peasant, in the weedy back-garden of the Villa of Mistrà. Everything had seemed to me like a dream: the jingle of the horse's bells driving in the dark from Padua, as the lantern swept the acacia-hedges with their wide yellow light; the grating of the wheels on the gravel; the supper-table, illumined by a single petroleum lamp for fear of attracting mosquitoes, where a broken old lackey, in an old stable jacket, handed round the dishes among the fumes of onion; Alvise's fat mother gabbling dialect in a shrill, benevolent voice behind the bullfights on her fan; the unshaven village priest, perpetually fidgeting with his glass and foot, and sticking one shoulder up above the other. And now, in the afternoon, I felt as if I had been in this long, rambling, tumble-down Villa of Mistrà—a villa three-quarters of which was given up to the storage of grain and garden tools, or to the exercise of rats, mice, scorpions, and centipedes—all my life; as if I had always sat there, in Count Alvise's study, among the pile of undusted books on agriculture, the sheaves of accounts, the samples of grain and silkworm seed, the ink-stains and the cigar-ends; as if I had never heard of anything save the cereal basis of Italian agriculture, the diseases of maize, the peronospora of the vine, the breeds of bullocks, and the iniquities of farm laborers; with the blue cones of the Euganean hills closing in the green shimmer of plain outside the window.

"You really don't look well," young Count Alvise said the night before, as he welcomed me under the light of a lantern held by a peasant in the overgrown backyard of the Villa of Mistrà. Everything felt like a dream to me: the jingle of the horse's bells coming in the dark from Padua, as the lantern cast its wide yellow light on the acacia hedges; the sound of the wheels grinding on the gravel; the dinner table, lit by a single oil lamp to avoid attracting mosquitoes, where a worn-out old servant in a shabby jacket passed around the dishes amid the smell of onions; Alvise's plump mother chatting away in a sharp, friendly tone behind her fan adorned with bullfight scenes; the unshaven village priest, constantly fiddling with his glasses and shifting his weight from one shoulder to the other. And now, in the afternoon, it felt like I had been in this long, ramshackle Villa of Mistrà—a villa mostly filled with grain and garden tools, or home to rats, mice, scorpions, and centipedes—all my life; like I had always been sitting there in Count Alvise’s study, surrounded by stacks of dusty books on agriculture, piles of accounts, samples of grain and silkworm eggs, ink stains, and cigar butts; like I had only ever heard about the cereal foundation of Italian agriculture, the diseases affecting corn, the peronospora of the vine, different breeds of cattle, and the injustices faced by farm laborers, with the blue hills of the Euganean mountains framing the green shimmer of the plain outside the window.

After an early dinner, again with the screaming gabble of the fat old Countess, the fidgeting and shoulder-raising of the unshaven priest, the smell of fried oil and stewed onions, Count Alvise made me get into the cart beside him, and whirled me along among clouds of dust, between the endless glister of poplars, acacias, and maples, to one of his farms.

After an early dinner, once again filled with the loud chatter of the overweight old Countess, the restless movements of the unshaven priest, and the smell of fried oil and stewed onions, Count Alvise made me get into the cart next to him. He drove me through clouds of dust, past the endless shine of poplars, acacias, and maples, to one of his farms.

In the burning sun some twenty or thirty girls, in colored skirts, laced bodices, and big straw-hats, were threshing the maize on the big red brick threshing-floor, while others were winnowing the grain in great sieves. Young Alvise III. (the old one was Alvise II.: every one is Alvise, that is to say, Lewis, in that family; the name is on the house, the carts, the barrows, the very pails) picked up the maize, touched it, tasted it, said something to the girls that made them laugh, and something to the head farmer that made him look very glum; and then led me into a huge stable, where some twenty or thirty white bullocks were stamping, switching their tails, hitting their horns against the mangers in the dark. Alvise III. patted each, called him by his name, gave him some salt or a turnip, and explained which was the Mantuan breed, which the Apulian, which the Romagnolo, and so on. Then he bade me jump into the trap, and off we went again through the dust, among the hedges and ditches, till we came to some more brick farm buildings with pinkish roofs smoking against the blue sky. Here there were more young women threshing and winnowing the maize, which made a great golden Danaë cloud; more bullocks stamping and lowing in the cool darkness; more joking, fault-finding, explaining; and thus through five farms, until I seemed to see the rhythmical rising and falling of the flails against the hot sky, the shower of golden grains, the yellow dust from the winnowing-sieves on to the bricks, the switching of innumerable tails and plunging of innumerable horns, the glistening of huge white flanks and foreheads, whenever I closed my eyes.

In the blazing sun, about twenty or thirty girls in colorful skirts, fitted bodices, and big straw hats were threshing maize on a large red brick threshing floor, while others winnowed the grain in large sieves. Young Alvise III. (the older one was Alvise II.; everyone in that family is named Alvise, which is Lewis; the name is on the house, the carts, the wheelbarrows, even the buckets) picked up the maize, touched it, tasted it, said something to the girls that made them laugh, and something to the head farmer that made him look very serious; then he led me into a huge stable, where about twenty or thirty white bullocks were stomping, swishing their tails, and banging their horns against the mangers in the dark. Alvise III. patted each one, called them by name, gave them some salt or a turnip, and explained which ones were Mantuan, which were Apulian, which were Romagnolo, and so on. Then he told me to jump into the cart, and off we went again through the dust, among the hedges and ditches, until we arrived at more brick farm buildings with pinkish roofs rising against the blue sky. Here, more young women were threshing and winnowing the maize, creating a great golden cloud like Danaë; more bullocks were stomping and lowing in the cool darkness; more joking, complaining, explaining; and so we went through five farms, until I felt I could see the rhythmic rise and fall of the flails against the hot sky, the shower of golden grains, the yellow dust from the winnowing sieves settling on the bricks, the swishing of countless tails and the thrashing of countless horns, the shining of large white flanks and foreheads, whenever I closed my eyes.

"A good day's work!" cried Count Alvise, stretching out his long legs with the tight trousers riding up over the Wellington boots. "Mamma, give us some aniseed-syrup after dinner; it is an excellent restorative and precaution against the fevers of this country."

"A good day's work!" exclaimed Count Alvise, stretching out his long legs with his tight trousers riding up over his Wellington boots. "Mom, can you give us some aniseed syrup after dinner? It's a great pick-me-up and helps prevent the fevers in this country."

"Oh! you've got fever in this part of the world, have you? Why, your father said the air was so good!"

"Oh! You've got a fever in this part of the world, huh? But your dad said the air was really good!"

"Nothing, nothing," soothed the old Countess. "The only thing to be dreaded are mosquitoes; take care to fasten your shutters before lighting the candle."

"Nothing, nothing," reassured the old Countess. "The only thing to fear is mosquitoes; make sure to close your shutters before lighting the candle."

"Well," rejoined young Alvise, with an effort of conscience, "of course there are fevers. But they needn't hurt you. Only, don' go out into the garden at night, if you don't want to catch them. Papa told me that you have fancies for moonlight rambles. It won't do in this climate, my dear fellow; it won't do. If you must stalk about at night, being a genius, take a turn inside the house; you can get quite exercise enough."

"Well," replied young Alvise, making an effort to be honest, "there are definitely fevers. But you don’t have to get sick from them. Just don’t go out into the garden at night if you want to avoid catching one. Dad mentioned that you like to wander in the moonlight. That’s not a good idea in this climate, my friend; it really isn’t. If you have to walk around at night, since you’re a genius, just take a stroll inside the house; you’ll get plenty of exercise that way."

After dinner the aniseed-syrup was produced, together with brandy and cigars, and they all sat in the long, narrow, half-furnished room on the first floor; the old Countess knitting a garment of uncertain shape and destination, the priest reading out the newspaper; Count Alvise puffing at his long, crooked cigar, and pulling the ears of a long, lean dog with a suspicion of mange and a stiff eye. From the dark garden outside rose the hum and whirr of countless insects, and the smell of the grapes which hung black against the starlit, blue sky, on the trellis. I went to the balcony. The garden lay dark beneath; against the twinkling horizon stood out the tall poplars. There was the sharp cry of an owl; the barking of a dog; a sudden whiff of warm, enervating perfume, a perfume that made me think of the taste of certain peaches, and suggested white, thick, wax-like petals. I seemed to have smelt that flower once before: it made me feel languid, almost faint.

After dinner, they brought out the aniseed syrup, brandy, and cigars, and everyone sat in the long, narrow, half-furnished room on the first floor. The old Countess was knitting something of uncertain shape and purpose, while the priest read aloud from the newspaper. Count Alvise was puffing on his long, crooked cigar and teasing the ears of a long, lean dog that looked like it had a touch of mange and a stiff gaze. From the dark garden outside came the hum and buzz of countless insects, and the aroma of grapes hanging dark against the starlit blue sky on the trellis. I stepped out onto the balcony. The garden lay in darkness below; the tall poplars stood out against the twinkling horizon. I heard the sharp call of an owl, the bark of a dog, and then a sudden waft of warm, intoxicating perfume—a scent that reminded me of certain peaches and suggested thick, white, waxy petals. I felt like I had smelled that flower before; it made me feel languid, almost faint.

"I am very tired," I said to Count Alvise. "See how feeble we city folk become!"

"I’m really tired," I said to Count Alvise. "Look how weak we city people get!"

But, despite my fatigue, I found it quite impossible to sleep. The night seemed perfectly stifling. I had felt nothing like it at Venice. Despite the injunctions of the Countess I opened the solid wooden shutters, hermetically closed against mosquitoes, and looked out.

But, even though I was exhausted, I found it totally impossible to sleep. The night felt extremely suffocating. I hadn’t experienced anything like it in Venice. Ignoring the Countess’s warnings, I opened the heavy wooden shutters, tightly sealed against mosquitoes, and looked outside.

The moon had risen; and beneath it lay the big lawns, the rounded tree-tops, bathed in a blue, luminous mist, every leaf glistening and trembling in what seemed a heaving sea of light. Beneath the window was the long trellis, with the white shining piece of pavement under it. It was so bright that I could distinguish the green of the vine-leaves, the dull red of the catalpa-flowers. There was in the air a vague scent of cut grass, of ripe American grapes, of that white flower (it must be white) which made me think of the taste of peaches all melting into the delicious freshness of falling dew. From the village church came the stroke of one: Heaven knows how long I had been vainly attempting to sleep. A shiver ran through me, and my head suddenly filled as with the fumes of some subtle wine; I remembered all those weedy embankments, those canals full of stagnant water, the yellow faces of the peasants; the word malaria returned to my mind. No matter! I remained leaning on the window, with a thirsty longing to plunge myself into this blue moonmist, this dew and perfume and silence, which seemed to vibrate and quiver like the stars that strewed the depths of heaven…. What music, even Wagner's, or of that great singer of starry nights, the divine Schumann, what music could ever compare with this great silence, with this great concert of voiceless things that sing within one's soul?

The moon was up, and below it were the expansive lawns and the rounded treetops, all immersed in a blue, glowing mist, with every leaf sparkling and trembling as if in a rolling sea of light. Under the window was the long trellis, with a shiny white pavement beneath it. It was so bright that I could make out the green of the vine leaves and the dull red of the catalpa flowers. There was a subtle scent in the air of freshly cut grass, ripe American grapes, and that white flower (it has to be white) that reminded me of the taste of peaches melting into the refreshing feeling of falling dew. From the village church came the sound of one bell: I have no idea how long I had been trying unsuccessfully to sleep. A chill ran through me, and my head suddenly felt like it was filled with the essence of some fine wine; I recalled all those overgrown banks, those stagnant canals, the tired faces of the peasants; the word malaria popped back into my mind. But it didn’t matter! I stayed leaning against the window, yearning to dive into this blue moonlit mist, this dew and perfume and silence, which seemed to tremble and quiver like the stars scattered across the sky… What music, even Wagner's, or that great composer of starry nights, the divine Schumann, could ever match this profound silence, this grand concert of voiceless things that resonate inside one's soul?

As I made this reflection, a note, high, vibrating, and sweet, rent the silence, which immediately closed around it. I leaned out of the window, my heart beating as though it must burst. After a brief space the silence was cloven once more by that note, as the darkness is cloven by a falling star or a firefly rising slowly like a rocket. But this time it was plain that the voice did not come, as I had imagined, from the garden, but from the house itself, from some corner of this rambling old villa of Mistrà.

As I was thinking about this, a high, vibrating, sweet note broke the silence, which quickly enveloped it again. I leaned out of the window, my heart racing like it could explode. After a moment, the silence was pierced again by that note, like how darkness is split by a falling star or a firefly slowly rising like a rocket. But this time it was clear that the voice didn't come, as I had thought, from the garden, but from somewhere in the house itself, from a corner of this sprawling old villa in Mistrà.

Mistrà—Mistrà! The name rang in my ears, and I began at length to grasp its significance, which seems to have escaped me till then. "Yes," I said to myself, "it is quite natural." And with this odd impression of naturalness was mixed a feverish, impatient pleasure. It was as if I had come to Mistrà on purpose, and that I was about to meet the object of my long and weary hopes.

Mistrà—Mistrà! The name echoed in my ears, and I finally started to understand its significance, which had eluded me until now. "Yes," I told myself, "that makes sense." Along with this strange feeling of making sense came a restless, eager excitement. It felt like I had come to Mistrà for a reason, and I was about to meet the culmination of my long and exhausting hopes.

Grasping the lamp with its singed green shade, I gently opened the door and made my way through a series of long passages and of big, empty rooms, in which my steps re-echoed as in a church, and my light disturbed whole swarms of bats. I wandered at random, farther and farther from the inhabited part of the buildings.

Grabbing the lamp with its burnt green shade, I slowly opened the door and walked through a series of long hallways and large, empty rooms, where my footsteps echoed like in a church, and my light startled swarms of bats. I drifted aimlessly, going further and further away from the occupied areas of the buildings.

This silence made me feel sick; I gasped as under a sudden disappointment.

This silence made me feel nauseous; I gasped as if hit by a sudden disappointment.

All of a sudden there came a sound—chords, metallic, sharp, rather like the tone of a mandolin—close to my ear. Yes, quite close: I was separated from the sounds only by a partition. I fumbled for a door; the unsteady light of my lamp was insufficient for my eyes, which were swimming like those of a drunkard. At last I found a latch, and, after a moment's hesitation, I lifted it and gently pushed open the door. At first I could not understand what manner of place I was in. It was dark all round me, but a brilliant light blinded me, a light coming from below and striking the opposite wall. It was as if I had entered a dark box in a half-lighted theatre. I was, in fact, in something of the kind, a sort of dark hole with a high balustrade, half-hidden by an up-drawn curtain. I remembered those little galleries or recesses for the use of musicians or lookers-on—which exist under the ceiling of the ballrooms in certain old Italian palaces. Yes; it must have been one like that. Opposite me was a vaulted ceiling covered with gilt moldings, which framed great time-blackened canvases; and lower down, in the light thrown up from below, stretched a wall covered with faded frescoes. Where had I seen that goddess in lilac and lemon draperies foreshortened over a big, green peacock? For she was familiar to me, and the stucco Tritons also who twisted their tails round her gilded frame. And that fresco, with warriors in Roman cuirasses and green and blue lappets, and knee-breeches—where could I have seen them before? I asked myself these questions without experiencing any surprise. Moreover, I was very calm, as one is calm sometimes in extraordinary dreams—could I be dreaming?

Suddenly, I heard a sound—sharp, metallic chords, a bit like the tone of a mandolin—right next to my ear. It was so close that I was only separated from the noise by a wall. I fumbled around for a door; the weak light from my lamp wasn’t enough, and my eyes felt like they were swimming, like I was drunk. Finally, I found a latch, hesitated for a moment, then lifted it and gently pushed the door open. At first, I couldn’t figure out what kind of place I was in. It was dark all around me, but a bright light blinded me, shining from below and hitting the opposite wall. It felt like I had walked into a dark box in a dimly lit theater. I was in something similar, a kind of dark space with a high railing, half-hidden by a raised curtain. I remembered those little galleries or alcoves for musicians or onlookers that are found under the ceilings of certain old Italian palaces. Yes, it must have been something like that. In front of me was a vaulted ceiling adorned with gilded moldings that framed large, time-worn canvases; lower down, illuminated by the light below, was a wall covered in faded frescoes. Where had I seen that goddess in lilac and lemon robes posed over a big green peacock? She looked familiar, just like the stucco Tritons twisting their tails around her gilded frame. And that fresco with warriors in Roman armor and green and blue embellishments—where could I have seen them before? I asked myself these questions without feeling any surprise. In fact, I was quite calm, like you can be in extraordinary dreams—could I be dreaming?

I advanced gently and leaned over the balustrade. My eyes were met at first by the darkness above me, where, like gigantic spiders, the big chandeliers rotated slowly, hanging from the ceiling. Only one of them was lit, and its Murano-glass pendants, its carnations and roses, shone opalescent in the light of the guttering wax. This chandelier lighted up the opposite wall and that piece of ceiling with the goddess and the green peacock; it illumined, but far less well, a corner of the huge room, where, in the shadow of a kind of canopy, a little group of people were crowding round a yellow satin sofa, of the same kind as those that lined the walls. On the sofa, half-screened from me by the surrounding persons, a woman was stretched out: the silver of her embroidered dress and the rays of her diamonds gleamed and shot forth as she moved uneasily. And immediately under the chandelier, in the full light, a man stooped over a harpsichord, his head bent slightly, as if collecting his thoughts before singing.

I moved slowly and leaned over the railing. At first, my eyes were met with darkness above me, where the large chandeliers hung from the ceiling, rotating slowly like huge spiders. Only one chandelier was lit, and its Murano-glass pendants, along with the carnations and roses, shimmered opalescent in the dim wax light. This chandelier illuminated the opposite wall and a section of the ceiling featuring the goddess and the green peacock; it lit up, but much less brightly, a corner of the large room where a small group of people huddled around a yellow satin sofa, similar to those lining the walls. On the sofa, partially hidden from me by the others around her, a woman lay stretched out: the silver of her embroidered dress and the sparkle of her diamonds glimmered as she shifted restlessly. Directly beneath the chandelier, in full light, a man leaned over a harpsichord, his head slightly bowed, as if gathering his thoughts before singing.

He struck a few chords and sang. Yes, sure enough, it was the voice, the voice that had so long been persecuting me! I recognized at once that delicate, voluptuous quality, strange, exquisite, sweet beyond words, but lacking all youth and clearness. That passion veiled in tears which had troubled my brain that night on the lagoon, and again on the Grand Canal singing the Biondina, and yet again, only two days since, in the deserted cathedral of Padua. But I recognized now what seemed to have been hidden from me till then, that this voice was what I cared most for in all the wide world.

He played a few chords and sang. Sure enough, it was the voice, the voice that had been haunting me for so long! I instantly recognized that delicate, lush quality, strange, exquisite, and sweet beyond description, but lacking all youthfulness and clarity. That passion, masked by tears, had disturbed my mind that night on the lagoon, again on the Grand Canal singing the Biondina, and just two days ago in the empty cathedral of Padua. But now I realized what had seemed to be hidden from me until then: this voice was what I cared about the most in the entire world.

The voice wound and unwound itself in long, languishing phrases, in rich, voluptuous rifiorituras, all fretted with tiny scales and exquisite, crisp shakes; it stopped ever and anon, swaying as if panting in languid delight. And I felt my body melt even as wax in the sunshine, and it seemed to me that I too was turning fluid and vaporous, in order to mingle with these sounds as the moonbeams mingle with the dew.

The voice twisted and turned in long, lingering phrases, in rich, indulgent rifiorituras, all decorated with tiny scales and delicate, crisp shudders; it paused every now and then, swaying as if breathing in lazily joyful bliss. I felt my body melt away just like wax in the sunshine, and it seemed that I too was becoming fluid and airy, blending with these sounds as moonbeams blend with the dew.

Suddenly, from the dimly lighted corner by the canopy, came a little piteous wail; then another followed, and was lost in the singer's voice. During a long phrase on the harpsichord, sharp and tinkling, the singer turned his head towards the dais, and there came a plaintive little sob. But he, instead of stopping, struck a sharp chord; and with a thread of voice so hushed as to be scarcely audible, slid softly into a long cadenza. At the same moment he threw his head backwards, and the light fell full upon the handsome, effeminate face, with its ashy pallor and big, black brows, of the singer Zaffirino. At the sight of that face, sensual and sullen, of that smile which was cruel and mocking like a bad woman's, I understood—I knew not why, by what process—that his singing must be cut short, that the accursed phrase must never be finished. I understood that I was before an assassin, that he was killing this woman, and killing me also, with his wicked voice.

Suddenly, from the dimly lit corner by the canopy, came a small, sad wail; then another followed and was lost in the singer's voice. During a long, sharp, tinkling phrase on the harpsichord, the singer turned his head toward the dais, and a plaintive little sob escaped. Instead of stopping, he struck a sharp chord, and with a voice so soft it was barely audible, he slid into a long cadenza. At the same moment, he threw his head back, and the light fell fully on the handsome, effeminate face of the singer Zaffirino, with its ashy pallor and prominent black brows. Seeing that face, sensual and sullen, and that smile which was cruel and mocking like a wicked woman's, I understood—I didn’t know why or how—but I knew that his singing must be cut short, that the cursed phrase must never be finished. I realized that I was in the presence of an assassin, that he was killing this woman, and killing me too, with his wicked voice.

I rushed down the narrow stair which led down from the box, pursued, as it were, by that exquisite voice, swelling, swelling by insensible degrees. I flung myself on the door which must be that of the big saloon. I could see its light between the panels. I bruised my hands in trying to wrench the latch. The door was fastened tight, and while I was struggling with that locked door I heard the voice swelling, swelling, rending asunder that downy veil which wrapped it, leaping forth clear, resplendent, like the sharp and glittering blade of a knife that seemed to enter deep into my breast. Then, once more, a wail, a death-groan, and that dreadful noise, that hideous gurgle of breath strangled by a rush of blood. And then a long shake, acute, brilliant, triumphant.

I rushed down the narrow stairs that led from the box, chased, in a way, by that beautiful voice, growing louder and louder little by little. I flung myself at the door that must be the entrance to the big salon. I could see its light shining between the panels. I hurt my hands trying to force the latch. The door was locked tight, and while I was struggling with that barrier, I heard the voice rising, rising, breaking through that soft veil that covered it, bursting forth clear and bright, like a sharp, shining knife that seemed to stab deep into my chest. Then, once again, a wail, a death groan, and that terrible sound, the horrible gurgle of breath choked by a rush of blood. And then a long tremor, sharp, brilliant, triumphant.

The door gave way beneath my weight, one half crashed in. I entered. I was blinded by a flood of blue moonlight. It poured in through four great windows, peaceful and diaphanous, a pale blue mist of moonlight, and turned the huge room into a kind of submarine cave, paved with moonbeams, full of shimmers, of pools of moonlight. It was as bright as at midday, but the brightness was cold, blue, vaporous, supernatural. The room was completely empty, like a great hayloft. Only, there hung from the ceiling the ropes which had once supported a chandelier; and in a corner, among stacks of wood and heaps of Indian-corn, whence spread a sickly smell of damp and mildew, there stood a long, thin harpsichord, with spindle-legs, and its cover cracked from end to end.

The door gave way under my weight, one half crashing in. I stepped inside. I was blinded by a rush of blue moonlight. It poured in through four large windows, serene and sheer, a pale blue mist that transformed the huge room into a sort of underwater cave, paved with moonbeams, filled with glimmers and pools of moonlight. It was as bright as midday, but the brightness felt cold, blue, misty, almost otherworldly. The room was completely empty, like a big hayloft. Only, hanging from the ceiling were the ropes that once held a chandelier; and in a corner, among stacks of wood and piles of Indian corn, where a sickly smell of damp and mildew spread, stood a long, thin harpsichord with spindle legs, its cover cracked from one end to the other.

I felt, all of a sudden, very calm. The one thing that mattered was the phrase that kept moving in my head, the phrase of that unfinished cadence which I had heard but an instant before. I opened the harpsichord, and my fingers came down boldly upon its keys. A jingle-jangle of broken strings, laughable and dreadful, was the only answer.

I suddenly felt really calm. The only thing that mattered was the phrase that kept running through my head, the phrase from that unfinished melody I had just heard a moment ago. I opened the harpsichord, and my fingers confidently landed on its keys. A jingle-jangle of broken strings, both ridiculous and terrifying, was all that responded.

Then an extraordinary fear overtook me. I clambered out of one of the windows; I rushed up the garden and wandered through the fields, among the canals and the embankments, until the moon had set and the dawn began to shiver, followed, pursued for ever by that jangle of broken strings.

Then an intense fear gripped me. I climbed out of one of the windows; I ran up the garden and roamed through the fields, among the canals and the banks, until the moon went down and the dawn started to break, always chased by that jangle of broken strings.

People expressed much satisfaction at my recovery.

People were very happy about my recovery.

It seems that one dies of those fevers.

It seems that one dies from those fevers.

Recovery? But have I recovered? I walk, and eat and drink and talk; I can even sleep. I live the life of other living creatures. But I am wasted by a strange and deadly disease. I can never lay hold of my own inspiration. My head is filled with music which is certainly by me, since I have never heard it before, but which still is not my own, which I despise and abhor: little, tripping flourishes and languishing phrases, and long-drawn, echoing cadences.

Recovery? But have I really recovered? I walk, eat, drink, and talk; I can even sleep. I live like other living beings. But I’m worn down by a strange and deadly illness. I can never grasp my own inspiration. My mind is filled with music that is definitely mine since I've never heard it before, but it still doesn’t feel like my own, which I despise and hate: little, playful flourishes, weak phrases, and long, echoing cadences.

O wicked, wicked voice, violin of flesh and blood made by the Evil One's hand, may I not even execrate thee in peace; but is it necessary that, at the moment when I curse, the longing to hear thee again should parch my soul like hell-thirst? And since I have satiated thy lust for revenge, since thou hast withered my life and withered my genius, is it not time for pity? May I not hear one note, only one note of thine, O singer, O wicked and contemptible wretch?

O wicked, wicked voice, you violin of flesh and blood created by the Evil One’s hand, can I not even curse you in peace? Is it necessary that, at the moment I condemn you, the desire to hear you again should dry up my soul like hell’s thirst? And since I have satisfied your craving for revenge, since you have drained my life and stifled my talent, is it not time for some mercy? Can I not hear just one note, only one note from you, O singer, O wicked and despicable wretch?

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